#setting up for something in that first chapter

[bunnwich]

Why Leona Gave Himself The Bad Ending

Leona Kingscholar Analysis

Usual disclaimer to say that these are just my thoughts and you don’t have to feel pressured to agree. This was my thought process as I played through the parts of Chapter 7 Parts 212-226, featuring Leona’s dream triggered by Malleus’s magic.

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I wanna start off by saying that I believe all the dreams are a mixture of Malleus’s magic and the dreamers themselves. 

Idia theorized that Malleus is sort of “setting up the parameters” in a way, then each of the dreamers' personalities and imaginations affect the dream in different ways. The emphasis of this has been brought by Idia several times that it’s the strength of imagination that determines how complex dreams are. Which is maybe why in the first years dreams seem so basic? They’re young, their magical abilities are still new, and their magic is no match for Malleus’s magic. That and, to be fair, most of the first years don’t have the same amount of angst and turmoil as some of the other second years and third years have.

With that being said, I believe that because of his high intelligence, magical prowess, and his hyper-vigilance, that is the main reason Leona’s dream was so…different than the others.

But let's get into it!

There are a lot of Lion King references in this dream, and it’s very clear the writers wanted to play around and show this off. I feel like they did a good job of integrating the themes of the movie into Leona's dream. It does give me a little validation as I feel Leona’s struggles and personality are closely linked to his great Seven Counterpart, Scar. More so than any of the other overblotters. When I analyze Leona I sometimes I do use Scar as a starting point to understand his intentions.

This is how I came to the conclusion long ago that being king would never make Leona happy because it's not what he truly wants.

We start with the dream back in the Sunset Savanna. It’s VERY interesting to see that there is hyena prejudice right off the bat as a woman flees from Ruggie while he attempts to buy food. 

Right off, everyone can tell something is…off about the city. Especially coming fresh from Ruggie’s dream where everything was idyllic and happy for hyenas BECAUSE of Leona.

Grim hits us with the: “I laugh in the face of danger!” line. We even get the three hyenas referenced and the “love for you to stick around for dinner” line. The once proud lioness-dominated palace guard has been taken over by hyena “ruffians” (interesting choice to portray a disenfranchised group being given jobs as the new guard as a negative thing, but moving on.)

The first interesting thing we get is that the palace is somewhat rundown and empty? The group makes comments of how dark and dreary it is, and how few people are around. Is there an implication that the servants fled at some point after Leona became King or did he replace them? This further shows me that Leona for whatever reason has chosen to isolate himself. To me, it's most likely that he already feels isolated by his country and those in the palace.

From the looks of it “Malleus’s magic” has given Leona the one thing he has always wanted, but has he? Leona seems less than thrilled and genuinely upset by the fact his whole family is...gone. As I mentioned in my Leona relationships post, I think that he holds a complex relationship with his family, and while he resents them, in no way can I see him wanting them to be dead. 

It’s now I started to think that Leona’s magic was overriding the simple “let them eat cake” logic of all of the happier dreams. This dream feels TOO real, dark, dreary, and…sad. Could it be Leona’s intelligence or cynicism, ruining what’s supposed to be an idyllic scenario?

Why is even in his WILDEST dreams Leona is still miserable?

Hmm.

A lot of people have talked about Kifaji and their thoughts on his presence. It’s strange to see people praise him as “a loving parental figure” as if he’s really there trying to help Leona. But, Kifaji is not there. This Kifaji is a manifestation of Leona’s mind and I’ll get to why that’s interesting and what I think he represents. Remember, that often in other dreams we’ve seen of loved ones or rivals and they can act normal, out of character, or even cruel. Vil and Neigie come to mind and Neige turned out to be the blot keeping Vil asleep.

Kifaji is a bit different. He actively tries to help the group wake Leona as opposed to encouraging the twisted dream logic. For this reason, to me, Kifaji represents Leona’s conscious and the Dream!Leona we see represents his shadow self, like the dark side of the moon. AKA, the Leona we meet in Chapter 2. In fact, this whole dream feels like a rehash of Chapter 2.

We get the outdated Leona that dumbs himself down and settles for less, cloaking himself in his pride and believing that everyone is below him. An idle king while he lets others do his dirty work. (Scar basically.)

Leona asks Kifaji to sing (another Lion King reference) and it plays out how you would think. Leona tells Kifaji that he is the only competent person in the kingdom. And he argues that the kingdom is in shambles, not because of his choices as King, but because everyone else sucks basically.

Hmm. 

Kifaji reminds Leona that while he is clever and his plans are grand, that he can not treat people like human chess pieces. (Can I just say I love when chess is brought up to us because I find that when people analyze Leona or his thoughts they often forget how much he uses chess to process his thoughts. We saw that plenty in the Tamashina Mina event!) I think it helps him sort his thoughts and emotions which he can have a hard time doing.

I think Kifaji represents Leona’s mindset post Chapter 2 and because Kifaji in his real life is one of the only people who probably stands up to Leona, he has placed him in this antagonist role in his mind. (but not really) Plus, it’s not far off from Kifaji’s actual treatment of Leona in the Tamashina Mina event.

So yeah, Leona acts more like he does in Chapter 2—he's the player or the king even and everyone else around is just lowly pieces.

Just like the scene from The Lion King, Scar and Leona are not happy. Even though they are supposedly getting their deepest desire, they remain bitter and…alone. 

When I first began to read into Leona it was quite obvious to me that the whole “I’ll never be king" thing was just a front for something else. What I think Leona truly craves is approval and acceptance.

Being king, especially of a broken kingdom that despises him, will never make him happy. But, why do the people not love him? This is supposed to be a fantasy right?

There is this interesting layer of how he became king too. Instead of Cheka or Falena simply not existing, like I thought it might be, they are dead. That is…so much more tragic than it needed to be. As if deep down Leona believes the only way he can become king (his dreams to come true) is if tragedy happens. This reminds me of his bitter view/the symbolism of his unique magic. That he can only bring misery wherever he goes—everything he touches turns to sand. 

I also think that Leona is afraid of failing and much of this dream is his anxieties and insecurities that linger from all his past failures.

Though interestingly enough, I sense that in the dream, as implied later by Idia, Leona has implemented an “over-exaggeration” of his policies and plans for the kingdom. It was almost like he purposely ran his resources dry and gave up trying to compromise with anyone for the sake of “progress.”

Why, though?

It’s very masochistic in a way. It’s almost like he wanted to prove himself right. Everything he touches will turn to sand eventually and his grand plans will fail even if he claims they are “perfect.”

That’s why this dream is probably the most masochistic and self-deprecating we have seen. I think what initially began to draw me to Leona’s character is because of the hidden pain he holds. He is by far one of the most easygoing, and lackadaisical acting of the cast, but…he cares, he cares so, so much about how he is perceived and his haunted by his hopelessness about his future and the failures of his past.

I think the pain of never feeling good enough, causes his mind to be unable to “play nice” with Malleus’s dream magic to even manifest any sort of positive future. One where he holds a position he wants AND is loved and respected. it’s just impossible that he could ever have that, even in his wildest dreams. 

He’s too much of a “realist.”

Side tangent, but a frustrating take is to see was the: “Oh yeah, see? He would have sucked as king.” tinged comments after this came out.

 I think it’s more complicated than that. 

This isn’t me trying to defend him necessarily, but to be fair, all dreams tend to be over exaggerations by the dreamer. Plus, I think the fact that Ruggie HATES Leona in this dream and is suddenly in favor of Falena, is a sign right there we can not trust Leona’s interpretation of the people he knows in his dream. He is sort of an unreliable narrator that way. 

Besides, like in The Lion King, why would all the water dry up, just because the hyenas over-hunted? 

A big theme in Lion King and even The Lion Guard TV show is "the balance of nature." The blight upon the Pridelands when Scar takes over feels more like symbolism of the “unbalance of nature” caused by the tragedy of Mufasa’s death. Which makes me again, connect that Leona feels the only way he can succeed is by inflicting misery on others. Like his magic, perhaps a part of him believes he is a curse. 

I theorized in my Tamashina Mina review, that maybe Leona feels like an outcast himself, and the separation he feels from his country is showcased in how he blames the citizens for the decline of the kingdom, rather than his plans. He feels isolated from them.

By this point, I was having flashbacks to Chapter 2, where he got a whiff of his plan failing and he still pushed through even though he knew it would fail. At first, he may have started doing okay as king, but maybe when he came upon too many obstacles or pushback, He just gave up. Because he was not instantly loved by the people, who probably already feared him, he’d rather not even try. Suddenly, they are “not worth his time”, and he can’t help them because they suck.

Leona’s problem has always been his pride. I think he has to put it aside to genuinely help people reach their potential and learn to collaborate with others more. Part of how this dream plays out, is him realizing that maybe some criticisms Kifaji had about his pride all along may be true. Leona refuses to play nice with others. 

That’s why I think Kifaji represents a more sensible and lucid Leona. He is in a sense, talking to his past self, and trying to shake himself from the dream and his outdated ideals.

Ortho even points out that Ruggie is not really the Ruggie we know but rather a part of Leona’s imagination. Again, which puts emphasis on how the characters in his dream are more indicative of his mindset as opposed to being “in character”. Maybe Ruggie hating him in his dream is his inner anxieties about him and Ruggie post Chapter 2 fallout. He feels like Ruggie could never forgive him for what he did. He let him down. And Leona being bad with people and feelings, doesn’t know the proper way to apologize.

Kifaji (woke Leona) says that the state of the kingdom is a result of him “pursuing efficiency over all things and disregarding other people's feelings.” It really feels like he is calling himself out here. Does he REALLY wanna help people? Or is it just Leona’s selfish pride who wants attention for just being smart?

Dream!Leona complains about the protesters interrupting his nap which is another sign for me of the exaggeration of the scenario of Leona being the king. Like...did he not criticize Falena for having the same carefree and laid-back attitude? And yet here he is...complacent in the same behavior he once criticized Falena of. 

Interesting.

Ortho mentions that Leona’s dream is clearly a more complex situation than the other dreams.

I think there is a key implication we are missing here too, that I haven’t seen many mention. There is a throwaway line that Jack mentions that Leona has not attended school and is king instead. And he doesn't seem to know Dream!Ruggie either. Nor Ruggie him.

There is no doubt his time at NRC has shaped him to be the Leona we know now. Someone who has at least somewhat benefited with the connections he made at school. It does seem like this Dream!Leona is regressed. And because he never attended school, he is a much colder person who has no regard for others' feelings at all. He is even more socially inept.

I feel like this is a common theme to show us that despite the independent nature of most of the students at NRC, that it can still be “the friends we made along the way.” trope.  These connections do matter and especially to Leona. He mentions this in his post-overblot monologue in the light novel. He found his pack at NRC.  This time with his dorm members affected his personality for the better. It's kinda sweet when you think about it!

Ortho mentions Dream!Leona appears DEEPLY absorbed in the delusions of his dream. This means that even though he has the lucid failsafe of Kifaji, Leona’s self-deprecation, despair, and pain are still overtaking his logic. That's what's crafted this nightmare. (And he later references it as such.) 

Everyone acknowledges that he can’t possibly be happy and looks EVEN MORE miserable than at school. It can't be a silly happy fantasy, but a grim dark reality of what he thinks of himself. 

That's why he gave himself the bad ending.

I love the double entendre of Idia saying Leona is building his dream like a “sandbox” game. Lots of Minecraft references. (Leona Minecrafter confirmed? Or hear me out…Leona playing King Crusaders or Civilization V FGHJ)

Anyways, Idia or Ortho, (I forget) suggests that perhaps he has run out of ”simulations” for his dream playthrough. And being an intelligent person his mind tends to overthink naturally and this caused his dream to have a more realistic tone. Plus, I theorize that because Leona is powerful and his intelligent, his magic and imagination was almost able to overwrite Malleus's, a standard happy dream formula.

Ortho suggests Leona chose a more “realistic mode “on purpose.” Perhaps like I theorized earlier, it is almost a masochistic test to see if he could have everything he wanted? Leona is a very analytical person who enjoys games. It makes sense, the way he often plays chess alone to practice “strategies.” But as I mentioned before, I think he just genuinely believes it's not possible. Ortho mentions he thinks Leona’s the type to understand that an “aggressive urban development” would come with risks.

Jack asks “If Leona knew this was a bad plan then why would he make the citizens suffer and be hated?”  (Sheesh, now we know Leona really is the type to play pretend and get a lil too real with it.)

Ruggie adds that Leona may be “doing something he knows he shouldn't be on purpose.” Like maybe he did it to be dastardly and maybe he just wanted to “feel the rush” of being a ruthless and hated king.

When Azul asks Ruggie if he thinks Leona takes pleasure in immoral things he says that he can't say for sure, only that he is a prince that no doubt can take pleasure in “bad things”.

To me, however, it feels like a masochistic move to prove to himself his happiness is unattainable. 

Then Sebek chimes in: “How could he go so far to kill his family only to abandon his responsibilities as a king and become a horrible one?"

No one seems to know for sure. Everyone in the group has their theories but the consensus in the group is that - nobody fuckin’ knows why this guy intricately carved himself such a miserable fantasy for himself. Very masochistic for a guy who appears to be so proud huh?

Idia continues to mention that Leona’s imagination is so vast compared to everyone else's. It fills out a whole “world” completely and the mechanics of this world must make sense. He's playing on hard mode. In Leona’s brain this seemed to manifest as if he is to “get what he wants” it can't be serendipitous or through triumph, IT MUST be through tragedy.

Can we lighten up a little?

Again, he may have started to do “good work” but quickly realized that keeping up with all to create a perfect kingdom was waaaay over his head. Maybe he was afraid to give it his all, because he knew everyone would still hate him anyway.

Another reason I think Leona thrives better as a “big fish in a small pond” so to speak. Like his dorm leader role where he can interact directly with his cute (this man used this word a lot for some reason) froshes, make tangible make things better for a small group or community. 

But as we saw, even with his dorm Leona began to feel overwhelmed with the pretty promises he made to his underclassmen in Chapter 2 about the Spelldrive tournament. He like…wants to be wanted but he’s terrified of people actually relying on him, because trying your best and then failing anyways is the most painful thing to him. His instinct when he gets too frustrated with something is to act like he never cared about it in the first place or anyone. AKA “I did everything right and it's THE REST OF YOU who are incompetent.”

That’s why I personally think that in the future Leona working within a small community might be a better fit for him, using his skills to see potential in others as a way to connect with them and teach them how to thrive. 

So yeah, needless to say the group is stumped on analyzing Leona’s intentions and Azul hilariously notes that Leona is just…a complicated person. 

What an understatement.

The group hatches a silly plan to have Ruggie puppet a Cheka hologram and yeah obviously it didn’t work.

This is where it started to get interesting again.

Dream!Kifaji said he’s been “waiting for the day Leona would wake up from his bad dream” and joins the fight against him to wake him. It’s like Leona telling himself that it's time to let his original dream go.

Ortho is surprised Kifaji is on their side, that he should be the darkness pulling Leona back in, but like I mentioned I think Kifaji is actually a “fail safe” Leona created to stay lucid or...maybe the little bit of hope he has fostered now that he has grown from Chapters 2’s events.

Since Kifaji is the one to normally call him out, maybe he's Leona’s way of processing his relationship with him. And that maybe…sometimes as annoying as Kifaji is, he has a point. Kifaji is the one who is implied to have raised him after all, so it's no surprise Leona sees him in a father-like role more than his own father.

“No one understands me, it's not my fault.”  Leona laments running away, running away from himself.

Reminds me a lot of Chapter 2 Leona where he began to feel sorry for himself instead of actually trying to fix things. It's clear that no matter how smart and mature Leona is…is that he still has a lot of growing to do. And that his relationship with his family and country are complex. There is not a black and white or good and bad with this situation and I feel like this is important when talking about him and his relationships with his family.

He was very much ostracized and probably neglected to some extent by his real parents but at a certain point, Leona decided to give up on improving himself just because he didn't achieve the results he wanted to. It's one of his biggest flaw.

His complacency is what drags him further into the darkness. Not Kifaji.

Sitting and stewing in his despair and how unfair his life has been instead of reaching out. Rehashing all thise chess strategies alone on his chess board until his brain hurts. Making grandiose plans instead of actually working hard toward a realistic goal. 

The idle king. A king with naught. (Nothing.)

I am now realizing that in a way (because Ruggie and Leona are so similar) Jack is Leona’s foil; he is the determined and earnest one who admires Leona at his best. He still holds the innocence and the idealism of working hard.

The group jumped through the darkness with Leona and we are replaying the events of Chapter 2 once again.

Ruggie and Jack watch it go down in dismay. Ruggie addresses that he once did think Leona’s way of thinking/plan was good and it’s cool to see he clearly regrets it now too.

They watch the drama play out as if Leona’s plan in Chapter 2 actually succeeded and see that he craves more. More ways for Savanaclaw to get ahead by unsavory means.

Jack says even if Leona becomes king there will be no end to his dissatisfaction. BOOM, there it is.

That is why Chapter 2 is so mind boggling.  Leona’s whole speech was about being king and second. But it’s clear now, it's not what he truly wants. I think Leona is afraid to admit what he really wants. Because that takes vulnerability and then comes the possibility of being rejected.

Jack also notes that, despite Leona getting “everything he wanted” he seems more grumpier and dissatisfied than usual.

“Leona is not your King, hes’ our Dorm Leader,” Jack growls. They fight and we get a nice callback to Lion King here. “Remember who you are.”

As Leona wakes up from his dreams he straight up says, yeah the scheme from Chapter 2 was…stupid. (Nice.)

Oh and we finally get some acknowledgement that Ruggie feels like Leona abandoned him in Chapter 2 which SHEEEEEEEESH. This is a deep cut for me, considering Ruggie’s real dad abandoned him. And it really confirms the fact he sees Leona as a father/big brother figure.

But, Leona doesn't, he sacrifices himself for Ruggie as the whole group tries to escape the crumbling dream. And while Ruggie cries out for Leona, Leona goes down smirking not knowing what will happen to him.

It’s time for him to face himself, his blot monster.

Blot!Leona wants them dead, all of them. Cheka, Falena, everyone. The real Leona finds it kind of pathetic. Because, in reality, I don't think Leona hates Cheka or Falena and he doesn't want to be alone anymore.

Leona admits to his blot that yeah, no he can’t do the job. He can’t be king. And instead of it being a negative it’s more a relief? Maybe he is incompetent too. He is addressing himself and his previous grandiose illusions. He hasn’t done anything worthy of being king.

However, he will not give up. He’s finally living up to Savanaclaw’s motto of perseverance (which he sorta laughed off in Chapter 2?)

This next part is what struck me the most because. He just lays it out so simply, finally saying it out loud.

Self awareness!! Like he finally said it!! (And I felt very vindicated in this moment, NGL) 

What he desires most is the approval of others.

Ah, and Blot!Leona responds with the fact he can't earnestly try, it's too painful to think of failing. Props for Leona acknowledging his flaws! Just like with the other overblotters. But I'm especially floored here because of how PRIDEFUL he is all the time.

In order to have better relationships with people, he has to leave that whole “they all hated me” shit behind. Because in reality, there are people who care for him despite his flaws. There are those who look up to him and admire him, for him.

But, the idea of that I think is so…crazy to him that he tends to deny its very existence. Then when he is genuinely complimented on his leadership or whatever skills he brushes it off.

He calls himself disgusting which feels kinda sad but it’s proof he has moved on from his previous way of things. What did I say earlier? Leona is afraid of failure. 

Giving being a king a earnest optimistic go is too painful for him because ultimately he is afraid of failing. Like he was happier to play the role of tyrannical king than to bother to build relations with the citizens of his kingdom.

As his blot self withers away it’s almost…sad compared to the previous blot monster showdowns we’ve seen. It mentions something about “his friends” (A reference to Scar’s final words.) like he’s reaching out for Leona so it's not alone anymore. And Leona almost embraces his monster? It’s clear he feels pity for this thing…him. His pain, his depression, his loneliness. Maybe a step in the way of self-love? He acknowledges (almost as to soothe it) that it will always be with him, clawing from inside. Except now, he won’t give up.

He vows that he will get what he wants one day, for both of them. He’ll have his “own throne and pride” instead of wanting for someone else’s. He’ll find his place to belong through his own merit.

It reminds me of that expression “find your own tribe” which is an expression that those who are not close to heirt families understand all too well.  He wants to find satisfaction outside his desire to rule and maybe because we know he prefers NRC to home, this confirms his fondness for his dorm life. (Savanaclaw found a family dorm.)

When he returns to his original dream of being king Kifaji is there as they look on at Pride Rock. The fact that it is raining is telling that hope has returned. (Just like at the end of Lion King) and that by accepting that “being king” is not what he really wants now “all things are balanced again”.

They have a nice moment here. Leona acknowledging that he has been given the tools to do good things by Kifaji’s training is a big mature moment for him. (Especially how they acted toward one another in the Tamashina Mina event)  And Kifaji praising him, since this a dream, could be a testament to what he wishes would happen between them.

AKA Leona finally feels more, “at peace” with himself.

As Leona destroys this false kingdom with his sand he seems reserved, it’s almost bittersweet as it all settles over him, his new found aspirations, letting the old ones go. He's letting the past go. A big theme in Lion King. (I really feel the writers must be fans of the movies.) 

Kifaji says: “Go to the place you really belong.”

This line kinda got me. Because the implication is that Night Raven College and his dorm is where he really belongs. Leona is confirming that his experiences at NRC have shaped who he is SO MUCH. 

For years he accepted his life as it was, a cage, and now he is acknowledging that he has the power to break that cage and do whatever he wants. It’s a great callback to the advice he gave Jamil in Chapter 6.

This is quite refreshing as he mentioned before that it was too “late for him”. Now, he realizes it isn’t.

Back with the gang, Ruggie admits his fear that Leona will abandon him again. Leona denies it, and says somewhat casually that he is in fact a true friend of his. This feels like a clever inversion of the line that Scar says to the hyenas about being his “friends.” 

But, we know now that Leona does mean it now. And this shows Leona’s desire to finally stray from the “path”  of his Great Seven counterpart and actually like…have friends?

The reunion of the Savanaclaw trio is actually really sweet. For a dorm full of cocky jocks with strong personalities they seem to be so genuinely happy to be reunited.

Jack bursting out into tears and crying got me tearing up. Like Ruggie and Leona clearly are bit more reserved in their emotions but we see Savanaclaw really are close, despite their disagreements. They care for one another as a dysfunctional little family. 

As a dorm that doesn't get much mainstream attention compared to others it was so nice to have this little moment. It's hard to tell, but I’m 99% sure there was a group hug based on how the sprites moved and the sound effects. At least a nice back pat from Leona. (Thanks, dad.) 

All in all, I really...enjoyed his dream section. As someone who is pretty hyper-critical, for the most part, it satisfied most of the things I wanted to feel. I even got emotional at a few points! Yes, it would have been nicer to spend more time with “king” Leona and dive into it more. Or get more lore about his family. But, he admitted it FINALLY, everything I have clocked about him all those years ago. It’s very satisfying to see his growth in a tangible straightforward way, instead of just me reading between the lines.

I hope we will continue to see even more growth with his character (Like we did in the Halloween event)  and I’m excited to see the role he will play in the rest of Chapter 7, even if it’s just him being a cranky old man. (What do you expect he was raised by one?)

I'd like to end this with some positivity. As someone who deep dives into character stuff a lot I know it's really comforting to see part of yourself reflected back in your favorite characters.

To anyone reading who feels they have things in common with Leona or his despair, the truth is that you should keep going, even if it's just to spite the world itself.

Your vision and presence in this world are valid all on their own and that failing is not indicative of your value as a person. It never will be.

Keep fighting to find your place, your pack and never forget who you are.💚

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Thanks for reading!! This one took quite a bit to edit and think through so if you like my Leona analyses, I’d appreciate a reblog or even just if you wanna share it with your friends! Shoutout to the youtuber ガスマスクゲーマー whose video I pulled these screenshots from. Thank you!

[azzifuddslover]

UNRAVEL — chapter one

paige bueckers x azzi fudd

trope: best friends to lovers

tw: light swearing, think that’s all

themes: fluff

a/n: my second series YAY! i absolutely adore reading best friends to lovers, it’s honestly my favorite trope, so i figured i’d make one of my own. i love this so far lowkey, they’re my literal babies 😭 also merry christmas to those who celebrate! please lemme know how u like it, and if i should continue. enjoy my pookies 𝜗𝜚

the gym echoes with the sound of squeaky sneakers and the rhythmic bounce of basketballs. it was the first day of USA basketball tryouts, and azzi felt a rush of excitement and anxiety as she stands silently in the corner, watching other girls around her age begin to fill in the open room. some began to practice shooting to pass time. at 14, she was nervous yet determined to make the team.

once all the young girls make their way into the gym, azzi scans the room, curious to know if she recognizes anyone. when she comes up with no familiar faces, she begins fiddling with her own fingers, her nerves becoming more evident. she absolutely hates doing new things alone, especially something as scary as this.

“let’s go ladies! time to get warmed up!” the coach announces his presence, a clipboard in his hands.

azzi, along with the other girls, form a line, starting to stretch out their limbs. her eyes dance over her future teammates, but when she makes swift eye contact a tall blonde unintentionally, she tears her eyes away, focusing on the ground instead.

warm ups quickly end; the girls break into teams of five, bustling with energy. azzi stands a little off to the side, watching everyone find their friends and form tight-knit circles. she shifts her weight from one foot to the other, feeling the familiar pang of anxiety in her stomach. she feels out of place, unsure if she really belongs here.

just as she contemplates stepping away, she notices the blonde she made eye contact with earlier lingering nearby, alone, like herself. the blue eyed blonde takes a steady, deep breath before wryly approaching the curly headed brunette.

her expression is friendly but obviously hesitant, maybe slightly shy as well. “hey, um.. do you have a group?”

azzi’s heart races in her chest, heat covering her cheeks as embarrassment sets in. “no, not yet. do you?”

the blonde’s face lights up just a tad, although her nerves are still apparent. “not yet. i was wondering if.. you wanna be in mine? not that i have one, but we can find one together..?”

azzi feels a rush of relief as any lingering nerves in her stomach instantly settle. “i’d love that.”

“great! i’m paige, by the way,” the blonde, paige, says, a wide smile appearing on her face.

“azzi,” the brunette replies, matching paige’s grin with one of her own.

as they walk together, navigating their way through the crowd of girls, paige steals glances at azzi’s frame, a mix admiration and awe in her eyes. she’s possibly one of the most beautiful girls she’s ever laid eyes on.

“i’m so nervous,” azzi whispers, a soft, stressed smile tugging at her lips.

paige chuckles lightly, “same here. it’s hard not to feel a bit overwhelmed with all of these girls who seem to know each other already.”

“right?” azzi replies, her gaze drifting to the formed teams, “i just wanna make a good impression.”

paige turns to azzi, “you totally will!” she reassures her, nudging her gently. “you just gotta remember we’re all trying to figure this out together. everyone’s nervous,” she wears a soft grin. “i’m sure you’ll be just fine— i saw your warm ups, you got some serious skills.”

a noticeable blush covers azzi’s cheeks at paige’s kind words. “thank you, that means a lot.”

paige’s lips tug into a wider smirk at azzi’s red face. shortly after, the pair finds a spot in a group with only three players, finally forming a group of five. the other girls greet paige and azzi warmly.

“alright, let’s get this started!” the head coach shouts, shutting down any side conversations the players were having. “we’ll start we 5v5s, then finish with a scrimmage.”

as each player in their small team break into their desired positions, paige throws yet another quick glance at the brunette she’s quickly growing fond of. she already feels a connection between them— like they’re meant to be friends.

only a couple minutes into the 5v5, azzi becomes highly aware of the kind of player paige is. a selfless passer, always willing to give up the ball to an open teammate in the corner, now including herself. but it’s not just her passing that sticks out to azzi— no, it’s the effortless shots she doesn’t hesitate to take that almost always goes in. it doesn’t matter where she’s positioned— whether it be the 3 point line, midrange, or a simple layup, it always swishes through the net.

as azzi digests paige’s skill set, paige takes in the curly headed brunette’s at the same time, in a similar state of awe. her 3 point shooting ability was undeniably impressive; she swears she never seems to miss. everytime she’d pass the ball to an open azzi in the corner, she had full confidence it’d go in, she didn’t even bother to look. she was that good.

the short 5v5 match comes to a close, leaving azzi feeling more herself, more comfortable and confident in her abilities. paige feels good about her performance, too, but more so in azzi’s.

“holy shit, you were so good out there!” paige exclaims once they’re allowed a short break for water.

azzi lets out an airy laugh, clearly out of breath from the previous 5v5. “thank you, so were you.”

paige shakes her head, her eyes sparkling with admiration. “i mean it, i’ve never seen anyone hit so many threes in a row. what was it, like six?”

azzi feels a sudden rush of pride at paige’s words. “more like five, but i get what you’re saying. thanks again.” azzi takes a swig from her water bottle, “it really helps when i have someone like you passing me the ball.”

the corners of paige’s lips quirk up as an unrecognizable feeling travels throughout her chest. “i guess we make a pretty good team.”

azzi tries to hide her smile, but ultimately fails. “i guess so.”

paige glances at the ground, fidgeting with the water bottle in her hands. “i was so nervous to come here, genuinely. i try to appear as confident as possible, but on the inside i’m an anxious wreck.”

azzi smiles in a reassuring manner as she suddenly reaches out, gently patting paige’s arm to somewhat comfort the girl in front of her. “i understand. i was nervous too, until you talked to me, that is.”

paige beams at azzi’s comment. “really?” when the brunette nods, she continues, “i’m glad i approached you then. it’s nice to know i’m not the only one feeling this way.”

azzi feels the connection between the two of them deepen as they share a vulnerable moment. “i think we all put on a brave, tough act, but it’s always nice to find someone who gets it.”

“exactly!” paige says, her excitement bubbling over. “i’m so glad we’re on the same team. you’ve made this whole experience way more enjoyable.”

azzi’s cheeks grow warm at the sincerity of the blonde’s choice of words. “me too. i don’t think i could’ve done this without you.”

now it was paige’s turn to blush— way more pigmented than azzi’s, that is. paige turns her gaze away from the curly brunette’s, desperately trying to hide her inflamed cheeks.

the two girls continue to chat, discussing their high school teams and other random interests outside of basketball. paige already knows, with time, azzi has the potential to become the best friend she’s never had.

paige and azzi’s conversation quickly fades away once the head coach orders them to break into two large groups, in preparation for the scrimmage. paige doesn’t hesitate to stay rooted besides azzi, keeping their distance close to indicate they’re on a team together.

the players surrounding them occasionally brush into the pair, separating them more and more. it isn’t until azzi rushes over to the older girl, gently gripping her forearm, mere inches away from her hand, that they get placed into a team together. paige feels instant sparks scramble within her chest at azzi’s touch— she’s brave enough to move her hand, grabbing azzi’s hand with her own, yet not interlacing their fingers— just letting her know she’s here.

the coach blows the whistle, signaling for everyone to get settled. as the two teams are finalized, paige and azzi find themselves on the same side, as expected but still, relief washing over the two girls.

the coach picks a starting five from the opposing team first, choosing the obvious top players with the highest skill sets out of everyone there. the coach then makes his way to paige and azzi’s team, scanning the girls one by one.

“aliyah, cameron, azzi, paige, caitlin,” he voices before turning around, casually walking to the side.

paige turns her head to look at azzi, who seems equally as shocked, but pleased with his picks. anxiety floods the brunette’s features— out of everyone on the team, he chooses her? she couldn’t believe it.

“we got this,” paige nods at azzi, reassuring the younger girl, “you got this.”

azzi hesitates, but shares the nod, trying to mask her nervousness with a quiet pride expression.

once the scrimmage starts up, the atmosphere shifts. the gym fills with the sound of sneakers squeaking on the hardwood floor, and the shouts of encouragement from teammates. paige feels a rush of adrenaline, her confidence bolstered by azzi’s presence.

throughout the game, they fall into a rhythm, passing the basketball back and forth with ease. azzi’s sharp shooting is as impressive as ever, landing each 3 pointer with precision, while paige’s passes are spot on, giving azzi the chance to shine. they communicate seamlessly, each play reflecting their undeniable chemistry.

as the scrimmage progresses, the score tightens, and both of the two teams push harder. paige spots azzi’s competitive spirit ignite, only fueling her own drive. with every successful shot and assist, they exchange swift glances filled with passion and excitement.

eventually, the whistle blows, indicating the end of the scrimmage. both teams gather for a quick huddle, breathing heavily but exhilarated.

“nice work everyone!” the head coach praises, “you all showed fantastic teamwork out there.”

paige turns her body to azzi, her heart racing, not just from the game, but also from the connection they’ve built in such a short period of time. “damn, we really do work good together.”

“i know, right?” azzi smiles, exposing her dimples on each one of her cheeks.

the girls begin packing up their bags, stuffing their now empty water bottles in the pockets. paige’s gaze shifts to the brunette’s, then back at her bag, then once again, back to azzi.

azzi quickly notices paige’s wandering eyes, “everything okay?”

paige’s eyes widen, embarrassed of her previous actions. “yeah, sorry. i was wondering if i could get your number, though? just so we can keep in touch throughout the tryouts, y’know.”

azzi swears her heart skips a beat at the request, a gentle smile spreading across her face. “is this your way of asking me out on a date?”

paige is taken aback at azzi’s comment, her cheeks becoming noticeably red. “what— no, that’s not—“

azzi nudges her shoulder, letting out a laugh at her reaction. “i’m only kidding, paige. of course i’ll give it to you. i’d love that.”

paige shuts her eyes, embarrassment still lingering, yet she pulls out her phone. azzi masks the older girl’s movement, taking her own phone out as well.

azzi hands paige her phone, to which she punches in the brunette’s number, labeling her in her personal contact list. as she hands the phone back, their fingers brush, the moment growing electric.

the two throw their own bags over their shoulders, barely making any movements to leave quite yet. azzi feels a ding come from her phone— it’s a text message from her mother, katie, letting her know they might be a couple minutes late to pick her up.

azzi lets out a groan, loud enough for the blonde beside her to hear. paige glances at azzi, curious as to what’s got her frustrated.

“what? everything good?” paige asks.

azzi meets her gaze, “my parents are gonna be late. i have nothing to do besides sit here for like, 20 minutes.”

paige scrunches her eyebrows, feeling slightly bad for the brunette. an idea forms in paige’s head, not bothering to think about her own mother waiting outside to pick her up.

paige suddenly reaches for azzi’s hand, interlocking their fingers and tugging her towards the gym door.

“um, where are you taking me?”

a grin tugs at paige’s lips, excitement glistening in her bright blue eyes. “just trust me, will you?”

“not like i just met you,” azzi mutters, although its laced with sarcasm. surprisedly, azzi’s trust for paige grows every minute she’s with her.

walking out the door, into the chilly weather with a slight breeze, paige’s grip on azzi’s hand remains tight and secure. she spots her mother’s car, noticing a confused expression on her face— she holds up her finger, telling her one minute, although she has no intentions of leaving azzi alone until her parents arrive.

she leads the younger girl into a nearby smoothie shop, dropping into an open table, hinting for azzi to take the spot in front of her.

as the two girls settle in their chairs, directly facing each other, the hum of the smoothie shop surrounds them, blending with the chatter of other customers. azzi glances around, intrigued at the colorful menu board. “okay, i’m curious. why’d you take me here?”

paige leans back, eyes sparkling with enthusiasm. “i just discovered this place the other day, their smoothies are so good. and plus i figured i’d wait with you until your parents get here.”

a faint blush covers the brunette’s cheeks, which she quickly hides with her hands. “thanks, that’s really sweet of you.”

“anytime,” paige beams. “do you want anything? i know i do.”

“oh, i don’t have any money with me,” azzi shrugs.

paige’s lips form a line, “no worries, it’s on me. now, what do you want?”

azzi’s face breaks out into a huge grin, exposing her dimples once again. the blonde masks her expression, wearing a grin of her own at the sight of azzi’s cute dimples. as she scans the menu, paige takes the time to really look at azzi. god, she’s unreal. her soft, brown curls pulled into a bun, brown, wandering eyes paired with long lashes, deep dimples paige already adores. her heart races at her beauty.

“i’ll take the pineapple one,” azzi announces, “thank you, paige. really,” she adds, gratefully.

paige simply nods, then walks up to the counter to order their smoothies. only a minute later, she brings them back to the table, setting azzi’s pineapple one in front of her.

azzi takes a long sip, followed by another when she realizes she really enjoys the taste. paige does the same with her own strawberry banana, downing half the drink.

“you’re right, they are really good,” azzi agrees as she shallows.

“told you so,” paige says, taking another fast swig.

the girls silently sit there, making no effort to converse. “so, do you think you’ll make the team?” azzi questions the older girl, eventually breaking the comfort silence.

paige shrugs, “i mean, i think i have a good chance. you’ll definitely make it, though.”

azzi’s heart quickens in her chest, beating at an erratic pace. “you’ll make it. do you have any idea how good you are?”

paige bites back a grin, avoiding eye contact with the younger girl. “stop gettin’ soft on me.”

azzi rolls her eyes at the blondes comment, “i mean it, though. i’ve never seen anyone with the ability to pass as perfect as you.”

pink floods paige’s cheeks, warmth spreading throughout her body. “look in the mirror, azzi. your form is literally textbook perfect.”

azzi chuckles, a mix of embarrassment and pride flooding her. “thanks. that means a lot coming from you.”

paige nods before taking another sip of her fruity smoothie. “so, what do you do outside of basketball?”

the two girls fall into a flowing conversation, discussing anything but basketball— getting to know each other better. they share laughs and wide grins as the conversation develops.

paige feels weird— she cannot understand how quickly azzi and her have bonded over such a short period of time. she feels like she’s known her forever.

azzi’s phone vibrates mid laugh; it’s a text from her mom, saying she’s here.

“my moms here,” azzi says, gaze lingering on paige’s figure. a wave of sadness floods her features— she’s sort of wishing she could stay here longer, with paige.

“oh, alright,” paige nods, sharing a similar disappointment. she stands with azzi, pulls on her backpack, and moves for the door.

the wind has pickin’ up, causing goosebumps to form on both young girls arms.

“see you tomorrow?”

“duh,” azzi replies, an effortless smirk appearing on her face. she waves paige goodbye, before heading around the corner to where her mom is parked, waiting for her.

paige watches azzi leave, the lingering flash of sadness noticeable on her face. she begins walking over to her mom, her steps slow but steady.

she greets her mother with a quick smile, setting down her backpack.

“who was that?” her mom questions, her tone light.

“a girl i met at tryouts,” she doesn’t bother to hide her beam, “she’s so cool, i swear. she’s so good at basketball, too. i’ve never seen anyone hit so many threes.”

paige rants on and on about azzi, talking about her impressive basketball skills and about how they clicked so instantly.

paige eyes her mom’s knowing smile, to which she scrunches her eyebrows down. “what?”

“you really like her, don’t you?”

paige’s eyes widen at the comment, “i mean, yeah, she’s my friend. but if you mean like that, then no.”

paige’s mother, amy, pulls her lips into a line, clearly not believing her daughter, although she doesn’t push.

the entire car ride home, paige has yet to stop thinking about azzi. her excitement about seeing her tomorrow basically buzzes off her, it’s that strong. she contemplates texting the brunette, but shuts that thought down immediately, considering it’s only been ten minutes.

back at paige’s house, in her room, she lays silently on her comfortable bed, scrolling mindlessly on her phone. azzi continues to linger within her mind— she eventually decides to text her, in hopes to settle the obsessive thoughts.

hey azzi, she types and sends quickly, without the chance to overthink her words.

a minute passes with no response— paige bites at her nails, an anxious habit of hers. her phone buzzes with a text message from, of course, azzi.

hi paige!! azzi’s text reads. paige’s lips tug into a small smile.

what are u up to?

only seconds later, azzi responds. not much, u?

same. wanna ft? paige works up the courage to ask, looking away from her phone out of fear.

three minutes pass with no answer from the brunette. just as thoughts like what if i did something wrong develop in paige’s mind, an incoming facetime call from azzi covers her screen.

the first thing paige sees is azzi, messy curls framing her face, laying in bed, looking directly into the camera.

“hey,” azzi smiles into her phone at the blonde.

“hi,” paige answers, mimicking her expression.

the two girls settle into a steady conversation, each smiling shyly at one another throughout. paige can’t help but admire azzi’s nature beauty, the way her curls fall effortlessly around her face.

“it’s so weird, i feel like i’ve known you forever,” paige announces in the middle of a collective laugh.

azzi falls silence, but her grin stays put on her face. “me too— i’ve never met anyone like you.”

heat, yet again, covers paige’s face, her heart speeding up at azzi’s soft words. “really? i feel the same way.”

azzi’s eyes sparkle with warmth. “yes, really. i mean it, too. you’re just so… genuine. i love that about you.”

paige bites her lip, both flattered and a little shy. “thanks, azzi. i appreciate that.”

they exchange more laughter, sharing stories and favorite moments about the tryouts. as the conversation flows, paige feels a growing sense of comfort, like she can be completely, undeniably herself around azzi. she hasn’t felt that way in a long time— if ever.

paige and azzi’s facetime lasts for hours on end, filled with continuous chuckles and getting to know one another. katie, azzi’s mom, eventually barges into her dark room, suggesting she heads off to bed, considering another day of tryouts is approaching.

“talk to you tomorrow,” azzi says to paige through her phone.

“talk tomorrow!” paige squeals, her excitement for the next day peaking through. she shuts off her phone after ending the facetime, her room fills with darkness and complete silent at azzi’s absence.

she lets out a quiet sigh, already missing talking with azzi, although it was only moments prior. she cannot help but feel an extreme pull towards the curly brunette— like they’re meant to meet, meant to be best friends.

throughout the night, into the next morning, paige desperately tries to ignore the warm feelings that bubble up just thinking about azzi. she distracts herself with homework, scrolling on her phone, yet nothing seems to quiet said feelings.

as the sun rises, filling her room with soft light, paige can’t shake the thought swirling in her mind. do i have a crush on azzi? she remembers back to azzi’s dimply smile, the way her laughter lit up her phone screen, how easy it is to talk to her.

before she spends another minute questioning her feelings, she forces them out of her mind, trying to focus her attention on the next day of tryouts instead.

the day both paige and azzi dreaded was finally here. the championship— the game the USA basketball team worked so desperately hard to reach. regardless of their excitement to win, the two girls couldn’t fathom leaving one another for god knows how long.

paige and azzi, over the last couple of months, have grown inseparable. the pair would spend every minute their downtime together, barely leaving one another’s side. they share laughter and secrets, bonding over late night talks and all throughout practice. the chemistry between the girls was undeniable, yet neither of them had the courage to question if it was purely friendship, or something more.

as the game approaches, paige feels a swirl of anticipation and anxiety. the team has trained so hard for this moment, yet all she could think about was what it would mean to leave azzi. after the game ends, they would be separated by hundreds of miles— azzi being in virginia and paige living in minnesota.

in the locker room before the championship game, the atmosphere buzzes with enthusiasm and energy. azzi sits down next to paige, a smile plastered on her face. for a moment, the world already them seems to fade.

“you ready for this, p?” azzi asks, her voice steady but with an underlying hint of nerves.

paige takes a deep breath, glancing at the younger girl. “ready as i’ll ever be.” she tries her best at a smile, although her sadness is evident to azzi.

azzi scrunches her eyebrows in concern for paige, “everything okay?”

“yeah, i’m good. i’m just kinda sad to leave you, y’know?”

azzi meets her gaze, her expression softening. “don’t think about that right now. let’s focus on the game first, then deal with that later, okay?”

paige bites her lips, her nerves still swirling in her stomach. she tries her best to ignore those thoughts and nods in agreement.

as soon as the championship game starts, the crowd roars, both girls feeling the weight of their training and dedication bearing down on them. every little play is a testament of their hard work, and as the minutes tick by, they find themselves in sync, communicating effortlessly on the court.

throughout the game, azzi continues to drain threes, one after another, as paige racks up assists unlike anyone else on their team.

with just seconds left on the clock, paige and azzi exchange a quick, soft glance filled with determination but also a hint of admiration for the other. the USA team is up by 30, so paige, as the point guard, dribbles the ball with no effort to move, running the clock. the buzzer goes off as the crowd erupts into cheers.

players belonging to the team rush each other, pulling one another into quick hugs, filled with laughter and pride. as azzi pats the back of aliyah, one of their teammates, in a gentle hug, she catches her favorite blonde’s eye, knowing exactly where she’s headed off to next.

the two girls approach each other, a look of longing flooding their eyes with small smirks planted on their lips. to close their distance, paige reaches out, pulling azzi by her jersey into a fierce hug that encapsulates everything they’ve shared over the past few months. azzi chuckles softly, her arms wrapping tightly around the older girl’s frame as paige nuzzles her face into azzi’s neck, breathing in her scent.

against azzi’s exposed neck, paige murmurs, “you did so well, az.”

azzi doesn’t dare to hide her growing smile, gripping paige’s shirt to keep her close. “thanks, but you were the one who really made it happen,” the brunette replies, her voice warm. “you were amazing out there.”

paige pulls back just enough to meet azzi’s line of sight, her heart swelling with pride at her meaningful compliment. “we really do make a great team.”

“couldn’t of asked for a better teammate,” azzi agrees, her genuine grin brightening even more.

as the celebration around them continues, the reality of their impending separation begins to fully sink in. their teammates cheer and take photos, while dread lingers in the two young girls stomachs for what’s to come.

azzi hasn’t left paige’s side since the championship game ended, practically binded hip to hip. she didn’t want to miss any singular moment with her best friend before they would soon separate.

the two girls were eventually forced to pack their bags, ready to head off to the airport to catch different planes. a mix of sadness and disappointment clouds their minds, not wanting to leave one another. they’ve grow so unexplainably close throughout this entire experience, that the thought of separating was heart-wrenching.

arriving at the airport, paige’s brain is still buzzing with dread at the thought of leaving her best friend behind. as she approaches azzi, her expression in a similar state, she tries her best to keep her tears at bay.

“this feels surreal,” azzi breaks the silence suffocating them, “i don’t wanna leave you.”

paige carefully sits her bag down, rushing over to the brunette she’s grown very fond of. the affectionate, touchy person she is, paige wraps her arms tightly around azzi, holding her close. “i don’t want to leave you, either.”

azzi doesn’t hesitate to hug the older girl back, her attention never wavering from paige. she feels her eyes begin to water, so she drops her head, resting it on paige’s shoulder.

paige’s heart speeds at azzi’s doing, making her want to keep the young girl close forever. eventually, however, their tight embrace comes to an end, yet azzi’s hand lingers on paige’s arm.

“please promise me we’ll stay in touch. preferably, like, everyday,” paige whispers, only loud enough for azzi to hear.

“i wouldn’t have it any other way.”

a slow smile creeps onto paige’s face, yet her melancholy is still apparent. “you’re my best friend, az.”

a lone tear spills out of the corner of azzi’s eye at paige’s words. “and you’re mine,” she tugs the blonde back in for a second hug, already missing her comforting warmth.

with azzi being so close, everything around paige seems to fade away— and before she has time to consider whether this is a good idea, she presses her lips just under azzi’s ear, a soft, fleeting gesture that conveys all the unspoken words spiraling between the two.

azzi’s breath hitches in her throat, although her expression remains light, a mix of surprise and understanding. they stand there, in the airport, for a heartbeat, the weight of their connection hanging in the air. but then the airport intercom crackles to life, calling for the minnesota flight boarding, pulling them back into reality.

“guess i should get going,” paige says, her voice breathless.

azzi nods, “please take care of yourself, paige.”

the older blonde gives azzi’s hand one last squeeze, before letting go, leaving azzi behind.

as they walk towards their respective gates, each step feels heavy with the knowledge that they won’t be seeing each other everyday now. they don’t even know the next time they’ll get a change to hangout. yet, both girls know their bond is strong enough to withstand the distance between them.

[angelsworks]

Goldilocks and the Four Bears

Chapter 2

Poly!141 x reader

Summary: You wake to four strangers at the end of your bed.

Warnings: 18+, dark themes, mention of kidnap, mention of torture,

Note: Merry Christmas Everyone - I hope you all enjoy this chapter! 🎅🏻🎄

Masterlist -> Here

For the first time in a long time, you slept well. More than well actually, amazing.

Your body was supported at all points, neck raised slightly, head cushioned on a thick feather pillow. And the sheets were actual bedsheets. One matching set of dark grey linen sheets, adorning the king sized mattress.

A luxury compared to how you’ve slept in the last few months. You never could fall into a deep sleep. Knowing that at any point your captors would come back to your room, kicking you from your slumber and starting your torment once more. When you did try to sleep it was on the concrete floor. Curled in a ball, spread like a starfish, lying on your front. All positions that you’d tried and failed to have a restful night of sleep in.

It must have been the light that woke you, you think wistfully to yourself. A ghost of a smile graces your face at the sight. Light streaming in and hitting the bedspread. Particles of dust, dancing carelessly in the rays. Things were turning around.

You roll on to your back. Stretching your neck from side to side and groaning. Your eyes find the ceiling, a plain white rectangle above you. You take a moment or two to enjoy the silence of the morning, letting yourself wake up.

It’s when you turn to your other side to gaze out the other window, that your peace is disturbed. The window itself is fine, the glass is intact, with a thin frosting of snow on each pane. But the figure that leans beside it is not something you wanted to see, in the previously empty cabin.

A mix of a gasp and shout of surprise leaves your sore throat as you jump in place. Your body becoming rigid and tense with stress at the sight of the intruder. Now sitting more upright, you see that the stranger not alone. He stands with three other men, each more imposing than the last.

While the one by the window did frighten you, his boyish dimples and lean figure have nothing on how the Goliath by the dresser makes you feel. He stands tall, taller than the rest. His face covered by a skull painted balaclava. His grey eyes give nothing away as they stare blankly at you on the bed.

Between the two opposites, are another two men. One stood next to the nicest looking of the four, crossing his arms and trying to keep his face stoic. His hair is styled into a Mohawk and the sight reminds you of bad guys from old movies. His blue eyes stand out against his brutish appearance. Softening the fear that his very being brings you.

The only one left is the man who sits on a chair found in the room. His legs naturally spread a little due to the size of his thighs. His arms are crossed over his chest, causing the muscles in his forearms to bulge under his long sleeve shirt.

His face is blank, hiding what his true thoughts are and most likely what he truly feels. His face is adorned with a healthy amount of facial hear. The feature ages him and makes him look rugged. Your eyes draw to the thick line of hair that he harbours above his pink lips.

They say nothing. They just stare. The action unnerving you. Making you feel like some sort of zoo animal.

The sight of the four muscular and good-looking men put you on edge of course. But there’s something else. Urges that you’d never thought of before. Feelings were never part of the mission. You were determined to keep it that way.

“You sleep alright love?” The man sitting asks you. Him deciding to speak first and the fact that he others look towards him leads you to believe that he is the leader of the men. Despite the authority that they all seem to hold.

His voice is low and quiet. The sounds rumbling together at the low volume. The words are clear enough though, that you can make them out a few feet away on the bed.

You don’t respond, you can’t. What is he wanting you to say? Yes thank you, it was the best sleep of my life.

So you strengthen your resolve and stay silent. Slowly shifting your position so you’re sitting up more instead of lying down. You calm your breathing and focus your mind. You let your eyes glance over the men in the room again.

“Enjoy sleeping in a strangers sheets?” Again his voice is quiet, soft even. But his eyes tell a different story. His eyes that are squeezed into a glare, glower at you. When you meet his eyes it’s too intense. You feel as if you’re on trial for your life. Come to think of it you are.

You stand no chance against these men. In any capacity. If they wanted to kill you, they could. If they wanted to hurt you, they could. If they wanted to take you, they could.

The last thought resonates with you deeply. That’s when the a prick of fear starts to grow in the back of your head. You realised how lucky you were that Miasma had no interest in hurting you in any sort of sexual way. Despite there being many opportunities too, the guards found more enjoyment in kicking you around then fucking you.

“Not going to answer love? Fine.” The man stands from his chair. He moves to stand at the bottom of your bed, hands stretching out over the bed frame. His presence getting that much more suffocating. When he stands close you find no refuge from his gaze. You can’t look to the other men as much, only him. Only his cold, piercing eyes that tell you telling this man anything but the truth is a death sentence.

“What are you doing in our house?” His tone is sharper, harder. The softness found in the low rumble of his previous words is lost.

Your mind races through the cover story you had before infiltrating Miasma. The details around it are so fuzzy. It feels like you’ve got the right story but there are undecided parts.

What were you here for?

Start simple. If you start simple you can fill in the details later. Give yourself a chance to think.

“I got lost in the woods.” Good start, it’s vague enough. Now change your tone.

“I’d been walking for so long and I,” your voice cracks for good measure and you feel your eyes starting to water. You use the emotions from the last few hours to fuel your tears. You were scared. You were afraid. These were all real feelings, you just had to try and channel them. “I was just so cold and so desperate. This was the first place I’d seen in miles.”

For a moment you see his eyes soften. In a flash they’re back on your again. Hard and cold and unrelenting.

“What we’re you doing in the woods, in the middle of winter?” He asks you. Behind his imposing figure you see the one with the Mohawk shift in his stance, trying to get a better look of you.

Your story doesn’t have to just convince the man I front of you. It has to convince the other three in the room. The thought registers as you run through your cover story as quickly as you can.

“I’m a zoologist. I was out here studying brown bears before they went into hibernation. Then these men-” you pause your story, desperate to have a few tears running down your cheek before telling them the rest. You need to sell this or all you’re done, all you’ve survived, would be worth nothing now.

“Go on love, finish your story.” The soft tone has returned, no doubt that it was due to the sight of your tears running and sniffling nose.

“These men came in trucks,” your eye contact won’t be enough you realise, so you free your hands from your side and use them to talk. “It didn’t seem right so I abandoned my stuff and hid. They came looking round and they, they had guns. I snuck away quietly but they found me. They took me back to some sort of military base. Last night was when I managed to escape.”

It wasn’t far from the truth. At least now you’d have a way to explain the myriad of injuries that had been inflicted on you.

The man hums audibly. You aren’t sure if you’ve done enough to convince him. His face doesn’t give anything away.

“Why do yer have their clothes if yer were a captive?” A voice from behind the man calls out, thick with a Scottish accent.

The clothes by the fire.

The captain watched your reaction for a moment. You hope he doesn’t think the flash of realisation that was on your face a moment ago, is evidence you’re lying.

He moves to the side slightly so that you can look the Scotsman in the eye as you answer him.

“They took my clothes. It was the first thing I grabbed when I escaped.” The four men say nothing for a moment. Eyes dead set on you, on your movements, your body language. Contemplating your words, your tone, your story and your tears.

It feels like hours until the leader speaks up again. Hours of waiting for them to pass judgement on you and your future.

“They hurt you?” He asks, tone quiet once more.

You hesitate, “A little…why?” Why does he care? Why would any of them care?

The man ignores your question, “Do you need a first aid kit?”

The question confuses you. Is this some kind of trick.

Part of you wants to say yes. Knowing you’ve got cuts and bruises a plenty that could use cleaning or stitching in some cases. But your hyper aware of where they’re placed. To get to the cuts on your back you’d have to raise or take off your shirt. Not exactly something your eager to do in the four men’s company.

Your shake your head, eyes now wide and mutter out a no.

It causes the men’s eyes to narrow.

“Don’t lie to him lass. Ye wouldn’t want to see what happens if ye do.” The Scotsman threatens.

You bite your lip, “I can handle it. It’s nothing serious.”

“Serious or not, we need to see what damage has been done.” You don’t miss the we in that sentence. Do they all really need to see how banged up you are?

You still shake your head at the premise. The idea causing a pit to form in your stomach.

“You stay put love, we’ll find a first aid kit and bring you a drink. Don’t move.” He fixes you with a final look before he leaves the room. The rest of the men trailing after him.

When the last of the men leaves the room, he shuts the door. The sight of the dark oak door brings air back into your lungs, it lets the haze that’s filled your mind clear.

You need to run, you need to get out of here.

You need to return to Gunner. You don’t need to be getting involved with these four strangers. Who just so happen to be extremely handsome and muscular.

You don’t trust them. Not one bit. How do you know they aren’t Miasma, here to find out what you know and finish the job?

As quietly as you can you leave the warmth of the linen sheets and step on to the plush carpet. Creeping towards the now shut door as you gently pry it open. You have little time to get out the cabin before it’s too late.

You cringe as the door scrapes against the carpet. The sound is practically deafening in the silence you’ve created in the master bedroom. You pause for a moment, convinced the men from downstairs have heard you.

When you don’t hear the thunder of steps up the stairs, you begin your mission to escape. Moving as silently as you can along the carpeted floor. Hoping to get out before they find the first aid kit.

“What are we doing price?” Ghost finds himself asking in a hushed voice as the entirety of the 141 congregate in the kitchen.

“Looking for a first Aid kit lieutenant.” Price answers and returns to searching the cupboards.

Simon wants to scream at his captain. He wants to complain to his team. He wants to know why they’re entertaining this girl. No matter how pretty she may be, she’s lying about something. Simon hasn’t got this far in his career without being an expert in body language.

Price busies himself with rifling through the cupboards. Thankful that Laswell keeps all safe houses fully stocked.

His hands brush past plates and cans and glasses before coming to the last cupboard. Finally his hands grasp the large green box, packed with medical supplies.

When his gaze moves from the first aid kid, he sees his men staring out him. Looking confused at the sight.

“I’ve got Laswell doing background on the insignia on the jacket. I want to see she’s lying. Looking at those so called injuries will do that.” Price tells the team as he checks the first aid box before taking it upstairs.

It seems the rest of the team h av e a permanent frown on their face.

“I just don’t think any of this is right.” Ghost mutters. “It all just feels wrong.”

“Aye, she looks so frail and small. How can a lass like that escape a group of armed men?” Soap questions.

“She’s either insanely lucky or has some sort of special training.” Gaz voices to the others.

The thought permeates within their heads. Are you some sort of secret agent? Able to escape from armed men at hidden facilities?

The sound of a creak breaks them from their thoughts.

[pbaz7]

CROSSING THE LINE — PART SEVEN ♡

paige x azzi

word count: 6.8k

A/N: Here's a cute little fun fluffy chapter for the holiday's, I couldn't do any angsty with Christmas spirit around 😭. Please let me know what you think and if you have any ideas of where you'd like to see things go. I'm not sure how much longer it'll be because I don't know if I have anymore routes to explore for them in this one.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

New Years Eve 

It was currently New Year’s Eve, and Azzi sat at the vanity in Caroline’s room applying her makeup. The soft glow of the mirror lights highlighted her steady hand as she blended the edges of her liner with ease. Behind her, Caroline shuffled around, pulling clothes from her closet as she got dressed.

The tension in the room was a little thick, but it definitely wasn’t from Azzi’s end and she barely acknowledged it. Caroline had brought this up before, and Azzi wasn’t particularly interested in having the same conversation again.

"You know," Caroline started, her tone slightly sharp, "this whole thing with you and Paige is starting to get... noticeable."

Azzi hummed noncommittally, her focus fixed on the mirror as she added a final touch of mascara. "Noticed that, did you?" she said lightly, not bothering to turn around.

Caroline huffed, pulling a shirt over her head. "I’m serious, Azzi. Since your date, you two have been practically inseparable, and yet—" She waved her hand vaguely. "Still no label. So what…you guys are just friends with benefits now?”

Azzi let out a soft laugh, shaking her head without pausing her work. "No, Car," she said easily, "we’re not."

"Then what are you?" Caroline pressed, her tone sharper than before.

Azzi’s hand stilled briefly as she traced the edge of her eyeliner, then resumed as she answered smoothly, "We’re us."

Caroline groaned, turning to lean against the edge of the vanity. "That’s not a title, Azzi. It’s not enough."

Azzi paused, her hand hovering mid-air as she paused applying her makeup. She turned slightly to glance at Caroline, her lips a faint smirk. "And that bothers you…why exactly?" she asked, her tone light but with an unmistakable edge.

Caroline rolled her eyes, undeterred. "I just don’t want you settling for something undefined because it feels good right now," she said, her tone more frustrated than before. "I know Paige. She’s not committing because she can’t. That’s just how she is."

Azzi’s jaw tightened, the irritation finally breaking through her calm demeanor at Caroline mentioning Paige. "Well, good thing I know Paige better than you do, Caroline," she shot back, her voice low but firm.

Caroline straightened, a spark of frustration flaring in her expression. "Do you? Because from where I’m standing, it looks like she’s just dragging you along while she figures herself out."

Azzi set her brush down with a little more force than necessary, her patience clearly wearing thin. "She’s not dragging me along," she said matter of factly. "You’ve brought this up like, what? Three times now? I keep telling you we’re fine and that I’m more than fine."

Caroline raised an eyebrow. "Are you? Because I remember the first time you argued, she immediately started sleeping around to 'cope.' That didn’t exactly scream 'fine Azzi.'"

Azzi turned to face Caroline fully, her voice cooler now. "You know that was different. We were in a different situation then and you trying to throw it in my face is fucked up."

"How?" Caroline challenged, stepping closer. "What makes it different now?"

Azzi let out a short, exasperated breath, her fingers gripping the edge of the vanity. "Because we hadn’t discussed anything. We didn’t know where the other one stood and we do now. 

Caroline’s expression softened for a moment.  Azzi," she said, stepping closer, "you still deserve better than just sleeping around."

Azzi’s smile faltered, her grip tightening slightly on the makeup brush in her hand, exhaling as she turned fully to face Caroline. "Excuse me?" she asked, her voice sharp now. "Caroline, do you even have any idea what Paige does for me? I’ll answer that for you actually. No, you don’t. So please stop."

Caroline opened her mouth to reply, but Azzi didn’t give her the chance. "She’s so much better than everyone thinks and it kind of sucks that you’re our teammate and don’t see it. She checks in on me constantly, even when she’s buried with her own pressure and stress. She’s Paige fucking Bueckers but she treats me like I’m the biggest star on earth. She looks at me like I put the stars in the sky. She makes sure I eat, that I take care of myself, that I don’t push myself too hard because she knows how I get. She surprises me with stupid little things she knows will make me smile even if it makes no sense to her. She knows exactly how to calm me down when I’m spiraling, she got me this damn necklace when we weren’t even speaking Caroline." Azzi’s voice softened slightly, but her conviction remained. “She’s so thoughtful and present. She treats me like I matter to her more than anything."

Azzi continues, shaking her head at the acquisition of deserving ‘better.’ "A title doesn’t affect how she treats me, Car. I promise you, I wouldn’t be with someone who only wanted me for sex if that’s what you're thinking."

Caroline hesitated, but Azzi wasn’t finished. She leaned back against the vanity, crossing her arms with a smile as she settled down. "It just so happens that it’s amazing," she said, her voice dropping into a teasing tone hoping this will end Caroline’s inquiry, "so we do it…often."

Caroline groaned, rolling her eyes and muttering under her breath as she turned away to grab her shoes. "That’s not the point," she grumbled.

Azzi let out a short laugh, returning her attention to the mirror. "You’re right," she said lightly, "it’s not. Because the point is, we’re fine. More than fine."

"But you’re still not official," Caroline pressed, her voice edging toward frustration again.

Azzi shrugged, her tone cool. "A title really doesn’t change anything so please just drop it. It’ll happen naturally.” 

Caroline sighed, her expression shifting to one of genuine concern. "I just don’t want you to get hurt, Azzi," she said softly, sitting on the edge of the bed now.

Azzi finished applying her lip gloss, capping the tube before standing and turning to face Caroline. "And I thank you for that, Car," she said, her voice calm but firm. "But really—we’re great. So please, stop worrying about it."

Caroline gave her a long, searching look before finally nodding, though her concern hadn’t entirely dissipated. "Just don’t say I didn’t warn you," she murmured as she stood to finish getting dressed.

Azzi rolled her eyes slightly, grabbing her jacket from the back of the chair. "Duly noted," she said dryly as she moved toward the door.

Caroline watched her go, her lips pressed into a thin line. "Just at least think about what I said, Azzi it’s important to have clear expectations," she called after her.

Azzi didn’t respond, instead stepping into the hallway and shutting the door behind her. She walked toward the common area, where Paige was lounging on the couch, scrolling absentmindedly on her phone. As Azzi approached, a goofy smile immediately spread across Paige’s face, her eyes lighting up.

Paige sat up straighter, her gaze sweeping over Azzi from head to toe. She licked her lips, standing as Azzi drew closer. "You look amazing," Paige said, her voice low and sincere.

Azzi smiled, her dimples showing, leaning in to give Paige a quick kiss. As she pulled back, she adjusted Paige’s collar playfully, smoothing it down. "Have I ever told you how much I love you in all black?"

Paige smirked, her eyes twinkling. "Yeah a few times," she teased.

For a moment, they simply stood there, soft smiles on their faces as they gazed at each other. The quiet moment between them felt private as the rest of the world faded away.

Paige eventually tilted her head toward the door Azzi had just come from. "You two good?" she asked, her voice casual but laced with curiosity. "You looked a little upset coming out."

Azzi glanced back briefly, then shrugged as she turned her attention back to Paige. "Yeah, we’ll be fine. She’s just being Caroline."

Paige hummed softly, her brows knitting together for a moment, but she didn’t press further knowing Azzi would’ve told her if she wanted her to know. Instead, she stepped aside, gesturing for Azzi to sit with her as she sat back down. Azzi flopped onto the couch, stretching out and draping her legs across Paige’s lap. Paige instinctively rested her hand on Azzi’s knee, her thumb brushing lightly over the fabric as they waited for the others to finish getting ready.

The quiet murmur of their conversation was soon interrupted by the loud arrival of Ice, KK, and Aubrey, who burst into the suite with their usual energy.

KK and Ice immediately broke into exaggerated cheers, clapping their hands and whooping loudly. "Look at ‘Mom’ and ‘Dad,’ holding it down on the couch!" KK teased, grinning as she made her way over.

Ice joined in, pointing dramatically at Paige and Azzi. "Such a cute family moment! We love to see it!"

Paige groaned, rolling her eyes but unable to hide her amused smile. "You two are the worst," she said as Ice plopped down on one side of her and KK wedged herself onto the other, forcing Azzi’s legs off Paige’s lap in the process.

Azzi huffed in protest, crossing her arms as she scooted to the edge of the couch. "Do you mind?" she asked, her tone half-serious, though the corner of her mouth twitched with a smile.

"Nope, not at all!" KK said cheerfully, leaning back and putting her feet up on the coffee table.

"So," KK continued, glancing around the room, "who are we waiting on?"

Azzi opened her mouth to respond, but before she could get a word out, Caroline stepped out of her room, adjusting her earrings. "I’m ready," she announced, her tone brisk as she glanced at the group.

"Finally," Ice quipped, standing up and stretching dramatically. "I was starting to think we’d never leave."

Caroline shot her a look but didn’t respond, instead grabbing her jacket and heading toward the door.

The group followed, making their way downstairs to where the rest of the team was already gathered. The energy was lively, with everyone chatting and laughing as they debated who would ride in which car.

…

By the time the team arrived at Ted’s, the place was already alive with the buzz of other UConn students. Laughter and music spilled out of the bar onto the sidewalk, and the energy was contagious. Inside, the familiar space was packed, but the team’s usual table in the corner remained empty—most likely thanks to the bartender, who always seemed to have them in mind.

As they walked in, the group naturally began to disperse. Ice, Aubrey, Ines, and Ashlynn peeled off first, making a beeline toward a group of familiar faces by the jukebox. KK, Caroline, and Aaliyah veered toward the table, where they could set up shop and claim their space. While everyone else including Paige and Azzi wove through the crowd toward the bar. 

“You drinking?” Paige asked, glancing at Azzi who nodded.

“Definitely,” Azzi said. “I need something to get through another night of Ice’s awful karaoke if it happens.”

Paige laughed, shaking her head. “Oh, it’s happening. She’s been hyping herself up for it all day. I heard her warming up in the bathroom this morning.” 

As they reached the bar, Paige leaned casually against the counter, immediately going into a story about something random that had happened at practice earlier in the week with her group. Azzi chuckled, listening with a fond smile as Paige animatedly recounted every detail, as if Azzi wasn’t there. 

“I’m just saying, who even thinks to do a behind-the-back pass in a half-court drill? It’s wild, right?” Paige said, her voice rising slightly over the noise of the bar.

Azzi raised an eyebrow, her lips twitching in amusement. “I mean, it worked, didn’t it?”

“Barely!” Paige shot back, gesturing emphatically. “KK almost lost it in the bleachers. But you should’ve seen her face—she acted like she just pulled off the play of the year.”

Azzi laughed, shaking her head. “Sounds about right for KK.”

As Paige continued, her voice full of excitement, Azzi found herself leaning closer, her eyes fixed on Paige’s face. It wasn’t the story that captivated her—it was the way Paige told it, her energy so infectious that it made Azzi forget the rest of the room entirely.

“...and then Geno was just standing there, looking at her like, ‘You done?’” Paige finished, snorting as she imitated his deadpan expression.

Azzi chuckled, shaking her head as the bartender approached. She ordered their drinks quickly, her attention still on Paige.

“You know,” Azzi said once the bartender moved off to make their drinks, “you have a way of making even the most random stuff sound important.”

Paige grinned, leaning against the bar. “That’s because it is important. You just don’t appreciate the art of storytelling.”

Azzi rolled her eyes, her smile softening. “Right. That’s totally it.”

Before Paige could respond, their drinks were placed in front of them. Azzi handed Paige hers, brushing her fingers against Paige’s briefly.

“Thanks,” Paige said, her grin never fading. “And for the record, I know you appreciate it. You just won’t admit it.”

Azzi smirked, picking up her drink. “Maybe I do,” she said, her tone teasing. “But don’t let it go to your head.”

Paige just laughed, taking a sip of her drink as they turned to head back toward their table. 

…

The team had been at Ted’s for about an hour waiting for midnight, passing the time with a round of god-awful karaoke, just as Azzi had dreaded. Laughter filled the bar as they cheered for each other, the air filled with the light buzz of alcohol and their natural competitive energy. Ice was up next unfortunately.

Azzi, Paige, and the rest of the team were seated around the long table, some with drinks in hand, others snacking on appetizers. The table was alive with conversation, laughter, and the occasional groan as another off-key rendition of “I Will Survive” from Ice echoed across the bar.

“Okay, this is torture,” Azzi said, rolling her eyes playfully as Ice launched into her second verse.

“I think she actually sounds worse than she did this morning in the shower if that’s possible” Paige joked. 

Azzi smirked and turned her attention back to the room, her eyes scanning the crowd for anything that might interest her—or at least distract her from the chaos of karaoke. But as her gaze wandered, it landed on someone she hadn’t expected to see: the girl who always seemed to make an appearance at the most inconvenient times. What the hell even was her name? 

Her jaw tightened slightly, the easygoing smirk fading for a fraction of a second.

Paige, always attuned to Azzi’s shifts, noticed immediately. She followed Azzi’s eyeline and spotted the girl across the room who currently seemed blissfully unaware of them, laughing with a group of friends at the bar. Still, Paige recognized the subtle shift in Azzi’s posture, 

“Hey,” Paige said softly, her voice low enough to be lost in the noise of the bar but perfectly clear to Azzi. She lightly touched Azzi’s wrist, bringing her focus back. “You good?”

Azzi blinked, her features relaxing as she looked back at Paige. “Yeah,” she said, her voice calm but not entirely convincing. “I’m fine. Just… caught off guard, that’s all.”

Paige studied her for a moment, her lips pressing together in thought. Then, with a quiet confidence, she set her drink down on the table and reached out, gently pulling Azzi towards her by her waist.

“Don’t worry about her,” Paige said, her voice laced with reassurance. She positioned Azzi between her legs as she sat on the barstool, her hands resting lightly on Azzi’s hips. “You got better things to focus on pretty girl.”

Azzi couldn’t help but smile at Paige’s effortless way of grounding her. “Like you?” she teased, her smirk returning.

Paige raised an eyebrow, her lips curving into a grin. “Obviously.”

Meanwhile while the two of them were in their own little world, the rest of the team was caught up in their own chaos. Aubrey was yanking the karaoke mic from Ice, asking the group, "Who's next?"

"Well, I vote for Paige," Ice said with a mischievous grin. "You were judging me way too much this morning—your turn!"

Everyone erupted into playful cheers, and even though Paige groaned and shook her head, Azzi could see the challenge in her eyes. Paige was never going to back down from Ice, the two of them probably the most competitive on the team.

“Yeah, come on, P boogers, show us your moves!” KK shouted, her voice carrying through the room.

Paige shot Azzi a look. “Fine, fine, I’ll do it. But only because I can’t let Ice win.”

Azzi smirked, leaning back in her chair as Paige stood up, finishing off her Dirty Shirley in one smooth motion before confidently striding toward the stage area. The rest of the team burst into cheers, egging her on with shouts of encouragement. “Let’s go, Paige!” Ice hollered, clapping her hands.

As Paige grabbed the mic, her grin widened, the thrill of the moment already lighting up her face. She glanced back at the table, her teammates watching eagerly, and locked eyes with Azzi, who was sitting comfortably, her brow raised in amusement. Paige’s gaze lingered on her for just a beat before she turned to the karaoke screen and scrolled through the selections.

“Oh no,” Ice said with a laugh, leaning toward Azzi. “She’s scheming. You can see it.”

Paige finally settled on her song and stepped back, the opening beats of I Invented Sex by Trey Songz featuring Drake blasting through the speakers. A collective groan and cheer erupted from her teammates. “She’s not serious,” KK laughed, shaking her head.

“Hey girl, hey girl, hey girl… This goes out to the beautiful girls,” she sang, her voice smooth and sultry. The bar erupted in cheers, her teammates the loudest of them all.

“Which one of y’all goin’ home with Trigga?” Paige teased, pointing to a group of strangers near the bar. They whooped, leaning into the attention, but Paige’s smirk showed she was just warming up.

Her energy was infectious as she worked the room. She stepped off the stage, weaving between tables, her eyes gleaming with amusement. Paige locked onto Nika first, throwing an arm around her neck as she sang, “Bottles of the Ace got me with a lil’ buzz… You leaned over and said you want me.”

Nika burst out laughing, raising her hair off her neck and fanning herself dramatically as Paige winked and moved on.

Next, Paige made her way to Aubrey, leaning in close as she sang, “Girl, can we take it upstairs… My bed’s waitin’ there.” Aubrey’s jaw dropped as the rest of the team howled with laughter.

But Paige wasn’t done yet. She circled back to Ice, tapping her shoulder to the beat of the song. “You know I live a magnum lifestyle,” Paige sang, flashing her trademark grin. Ice tossed her head back, raising her drink in mock surrender.

Paige’s playful teasing reached Aaliyah and KK, both getting their own share of her attention as she danced between them, her moves deliberately over the top. The bar ate it up, cheering louder with every step she took.

But when Paige turned to Azzi, her energy shifted.

Her teasing smile softened into something more deliberate, her steps slow and purposeful as she approached. Paige’s voice dipped lower, her eyes locking on Azzi with a bit more intensity.

“Girl, when I pull back them sheets… And you climb on top of me,” Paige sang, standing in front of Azzi now.

Azzi tried to hold her ground, smirking up at Paige with her arms crossed, but her resolve cracked when Paige reached out and took her hand, gently pulling her to her feet.

The crowd roared as Paige sang directly to Azzi, her free hand lightly brushing Azzi’s jaw. “You gon’ think I invented sex,” Paige crooned, her voice dripping with intention and playfulness.

Azzi’s smirk faltered, a deep blush creeping up her neck. Paige wasn’t letting her off the hook, though. As the music swelled, Paige spun around, standing behind Azzi now, her hand lightly resting on Azzi’s hips. She leaned in close, her voice soft in Azzi’s ear.

“It’s a celebration clap, clap, bravo…” Paige sang, her words carrying just enough heat to send Azzi’s blush into overdrive.

Azzi laughed, shaking her head, but her flushed cheeks gave her away. 

By the time the song ended, the whole bar was on its feet, clapping and cheering. Paige bowed with exaggerated flair before walking back to the table, her eyes still locked on Azzi.

"Wow, I'm impressed," Azzi said, her tone amused as she sipped her drink.

“What can I say? I’m a natural,” Paige replied, sitting down beside her. The two of them quickly fell into their usual rhythm of playful banter, Azzi teasing Paige about her exaggerated performance and Paige pretending to be offended as the rest of the team chimed in with their own commentary.

The table was buzzing with laughter and conversation when the same girl from earlier—the one Azzi had clocked near the bar—made her move. She approached confidently, a drink in hand and a smile that suggested she had more than casual conversation in mind.

Paige spotted her from the corner of her eye, her instinct telling her to ignore the interruption. But then she glanced at Azzi, who gave the subtlest tilt of her head, signaling she had it covered. Paige leaned back in her seat, her posture relaxed as she let Azzi take the lead.

The girl stopped in front of Paige, setting the drink down on the table with an audible clink. “I couldn’t help but enjoy your performance tonight,” she said with a coy smile, her eyes lingering on Paige. “Thought you deserved a little something for the effort.”

Before Paige could respond, Azzi reached for the drink, her movements deliberate as she plucked it off the table and took a slow sip through the straw. Her gaze never left the girl, her smirk growing as she set the glass back down. “Thanks,” Azzi said casually, leaning back in her chair.

The girl blinked, clearly thrown. “Uh, that was for Paige,” she said, her tone faltering.

Azzi glanced at Paige through her lashes, her voice dropping into a playful purr. “Baby,” she said, her tone laced with teasing affection, “do you mind?”

Paige tilted her head slightly, her lips curling into a small smirk. She licked her lips slowly, her eyes locking with Azzi’s. “Of course not,” she murmured, her voice low and easy.

Azzi’s smirk deepened as her fingers brushed Paige’s neck, her attention returning to the girl, who was now visibly unsettled. The girl shifted her weight, attempting to regain her footing.

“You know,” the girl started, her tone taking on an edge at Azzi’s constant presence, “I’m surprised Paige has stuck with one person for so long. That’s not exactly her reputation.” Her eyes flicked to Azzi, testing for a reaction like last time.

But she didn't get one, Azzi just chuckled softly, shaking her head. “Reputation?” she asked, arching an eyebrow. “You mean that phase when she was keeping herself entertained when I wasn’t here yet?” Her gaze flicked to Paige for a moment, her smirk sharpening. “Everyone experiments in college, right, baby?”

Paige, leaning back and watching the exchange with thinly veiled amusement, nodded slightly. “Something like that,” she murmured, letting Azzi steer the conversation.

The girl narrowed her eyes slightly, sensing Azzi wasn’t fazed. She straightened up, doubling down. “I wouldn’t call it a phase. Some of us,” she said, her voice dripping with false sweetness, “leave a lasting impression.”

Azzi let out a soft laugh, clearly unimpressed. “Ahh yes, I remember you now,” she said, snapping her fingers as if the memory had just clicked. “You were the one that threw yourself at Paige at a basketball party on campus right? I think she’s told me this story. You kinda just invited yourself to her room. Didn’t she ghost you after though? I remember you asking about it when we were on the way to dinner.” Her tone was light, teasing, but her words landed with precision.

The girl’s face reddened slightly, but she forced a smile. “Maybe,” she said, her voice tight, “but we had fun. She couldn’t keep her hands off me that night.”

Azzi’s grin only grew as she tapped Paige lightly on the shoulder, interrupting her conversation she started with Nika. Paige turned, her brows lifting slightly in question. “What’s up Az?”

Azzi gestured toward the girl with a casual tilt of her head, her amusement clear. “Do you remember her name?” she asked, her tone sweet but undeniably teasing.

Paige frowned slightly, genuinely trying to recall. Her gaze flicked toward Jade for a moment, her lips pressing together in thought. “Um...” She hesitated, searching her memory. “Jessica? Jasmine? No, wait... Jade?” She glanced at Azzi for confirmation, her expression apologetic as she didn’t know what was going on.

Paige’s lips curled into a sheepish smile. “Yeah, sorry,” she admitted, leaning back against her chair. “I used to get things mixed up a little.” She shrugged lightly, her tone casual but not unkind, as if this was just another awkward interaction to brush past like she used to.

The girl blinked, her confidence visibly cracking. “It’s Jade,” she muttered, her tone defensive.

Azzi chuckled softly, clearly enjoying how effortlessly Paige had diffused the moment. She leaned in closer, her fingers trailing lightly down Paige’s arm before stopping to give her hand a gentle squeeze. Azzi’s voice dropped, just loud enough for Paige to hear. “Go on, don't let me keep you from your chat with Nika.”

Paige’s lips quirked in a subtle smile as she glanced at Azzi. “Oh wow, thanks for the permission,” she teased lightly, her tone playful.

Azzi’s eyes sparkled with humor as she looked back at Jade. “So…now that we have that figured out Jade.” She leaned back, casually resting her hand on Paige’s thigh. “It was nice of you to stop by. I always love a good chat with one of Paige’s old friends.”

Jade looked between them, clearly unsure how to proceed. Paige, finally chiming in as Azzi’s fingers squeezed her thigh, glanced at Azzi. “You having fun, huh?” she asked, her tone warm and teasing.

Azzi grinned, brushing her lips against Paige’s temple. “Always, baby.” She turned her gaze back to Jade. “Thank you for the drink,” Azzi added with a dismissive smile.

Jade hesitated for a moment longer before stepping back. “Well… maybe I’ll see you around,” she said, her tone hollow as she directed a few last words at Paige.

“Maybe,” Azzi replied smoothly, her attention already shifting back to Paige as Jade walked away.

Paige watched her go before breaking into a soft laugh, shaking her head as she leaned into Azzi’s space. “You really are a little crazy,” she said, her voice tinged with amusement.

Azzi’s lips curved into a slow, confident smile as she tilted her head, her eyes glinting with mischief. “I think you like when I do that,” she said, her tone low and teasing. “You like seeing me put girls in their place.”

Paige bit her lip, her cheeks warming as she let out a breathy chuckle. “I mean,” she started, leaning closer so only Azzi could hear, her voice dropping. “I can’t disagree. It’s definitely sexy.”

Azzi’s grin widened, satisfaction evident in her expression. She leaned in just enough to brush her nose against Paige’s cheek before whispering, “Good. Because I don’t plan on stopping.”

Paige shook her head with a smile, her gaze lingering on Azzi before finally settling back into their conversation with the team. 

…

The final moments of the year started to tick away and the energy in the room was electric. The entire team had moved into the crowd, drawn by the anticipation of the New Year's Eve countdown. Laughter and excitement filled the air as everyone squeezed in together, ready to welcome the new year. Paige and Azzi, of course, were right next to each other, their fingers intertwined and their hands resting comfortably against each other’s bodies. The closeness between them felt natural, effortless, as if the countdown itself was a part of the rhythm they'd already established together.

The countdown began, the voices of friends and strangers alike filling the bar as everyone joined in. “Ten! Nine! Eight…” The cheers grew louder with each passing second, but Paige’s focus was entirely on Azzi. The way the dim lights glinted off her hair, the way Azzi’s eyes shone when they met Paige’s, everything about her pulled Paige in deeper.

“Three! Two! One!” The room erupted in cheers, the sound of laughter and shouts filling the air as fireworks erupted outside. But for Paige and Azzi, time seemed to slow as the world around them disappeared. Azzi’s hands found their way to Paige’s neck, her fingers lightly tracing the skin as she pulled her in close. Paige wrapped her arms around Azzi’s hips, drawing her in, as the two of them shared a long, slow kiss.

The kiss lasted for what felt like an eternity, neither of them willing to let go. The taste of Azzi lingered on Paige’s lips as their bodies pressed closer, as though the kiss itself was a promise—one they had already made and couldn’t break.

When they finally broke apart, both of them breathless, Paige’s heart pounded in her chest. She blinked rapidly as her hand found Azzi’s cheek, still feeling the heat from their kiss. And before she could stop herself, the words slipped out—soft, breathless, and entirely unintentional.

“God, I love you.”

The moment the words left her mouth, Paige froze, her eyes wide in shock. Her stomach dropped in a mix of panic and realization, as if she’d just said something irreversible. She felt the air in her lungs stutter, unsure whether she should take the words back or let them linger. Her chest tightened with nervousness, the sound of the countdown still echoing in her mind as she waited for Azzi’s response.

But when Paige met Azzi’s gaze, the look on her face was pure awe, like the words she’d just said were the most precious thing she’d ever heard. Azzi’s lips parted slightly, her eyes softening, drinking in every second of the moment.

Azzi didn’t say anything right away. She simply stared at Paige, almost as if she were taking in the weight of those words, letting them settle into the space between them. But Paige, still reeling from her own confession, began to pull away, her nerves getting the better of her. She couldn’t believe she’d said it—couldn’t believe she’d just admitted it out loud. She fucked everything up.

But before she could pull too far back, Azzi’s hands found her again, one gently cupping her face, the other sliding around her back. “Don’t run,” Azzi whispered softly. “You don’t have to run from me Paige.”

Paige met Azzi’s gaze, her heart hammering in her chest, her voice caught in her throat. She tried to breathe deeply, to steady herself, but Azzi’s words were like a soft balm to her panic.

“Be my girlfriend,” Azzi said, her voice steady but full of warmth and tenderness. “Please. So I can tell you every day how much I love you.”

Paige blinked, caught completely off guard by the question. She wasn’t sure how to respond, her thoughts swirling, but Azzi’s eyes were filled with sincerity, and there was no question in the way Azzi was looking at her—only the desire to make her feel safe, loved, and wanted.

“Huh?” Paige managed to say, her voice soft, surprised, and a little nervous. She hadn’t expected this—not like this, not yet.

Azzi laughed gently, her laughter soothing Paige’s nerves. “I said,” she repeated, her voice dripping with affection. “Be my girlfriend. I want to be with you. I want to love you. Let me do that.”

And that was it. In that moment, everything else fell away. There was no more hesitation. No more fear. Paige’s heart swelled, her mind quieting, and she smiled, finally, with a soft, relieved laugh. “Yeah,” she said softly, her voice barely above a whisper, but clear as day. “I will.”

Azzi’s smile stretched across her face as she pulled Paige back in, kissing her again. This time, it was softer, gentler, but no less full of emotion. Their kiss lingered, the pressure of it tender as if they were committing the moment to memory, holding it close for the future. When they finally pulled apart, neither of them wanted to speak, but both knew that everything was different now.

Paige, her heart still racing, looked into Azzi’s eyes and whispered, “Let’s get out of here.”

Azzi didn’t hesitate. She nodded with a soft smile, her fingers lacing effortlessly with Paige’s as she let her lead the way. Together, they wove through the crowd, their hands tightly clasped. Paige caught Nika’s eye from across the room and gave her a small nod, signaling that they were leaving. Nika smirked knowingly, nodding her approval as Paige and Azzi slipped out the door.

The crisp night air hit them as they stepped outside, a sharp contrast to the warmth and noise of the bar. The snow-dusted streets sparkled under the streetlights, and the faint hum of the city surrounded them. Paige’s hand stayed firmly in Azzi’s, her thumb brushing lightly over Azzi’s knuckles here and there, an unspoken gesture of reassurance.

They walked in companionable silence, the warmth of their drinks still lingering in their systems, though it was quickly overshadowed by the buzz of simply being together. The streets were quiet, save for the occasional car passing by or laughter echoing faintly from another nearby bar.

As they strolled, they passed a brightly lit Dairy Queen. Azzi’s steps faltered slightly, her gaze lingering on the building. Paige noticed immediately, a small laugh escaping her lips.

“You want ice cream, don’t you?” Paige asked, her voice filled with playful amusement.

Azzi tried to feign innocence, but the glint in her eyes betrayed her. “Who says I want ice cream?” she teased, a smile tugging at her lips.

Paige shook her head, already tugging Azzi toward the entrance. “You don’t have to say it, Fudd. I know you too well.”

The bell above the door jingled softly as they stepped inside, greeted by the warmth of the shop and the sweet smell of waffle cones. Azzi’s eyes lit up as she scanned the menu, her focus shifting to the options in front of her. Paige leaned against the counter, her gaze fixed on Azzi with a fond smile.

“What’re you thinking?” Paige asked, her voice soft, almost teasing.

Azzi didn’t look away from the menu. “Chocolate fudge brownie,” she said with mock seriousness, as if it were a life-changing decision.

Paige raised an eyebrow. “Solid choice. I’ll get mint chocolate chip, but fair warning—I’m stealing some of yours.”

Azzi shot her a playful glare. “You’re the worst.”

“And yet, here you are, my girlfriend now” Paige countered, smirking.

Once they had their ice cream, they continued their walk through the quiet streets. The faint crunch of snow underfoot accompanied the occasional bump of their shoulders as they strolled side by side, their breaths visible in the cold air. Paige glanced at Azzi, her lips quirking into a small smile.

“You’re the only person I know who’d want ice cream when there’s snow on the ground,” Paige said, her tone teasing.

Azzi turned to her, raising an eyebrow. “You’re literally eating ice cream right now.”

Paige laughed, the sound light and carefree. “Yeah, because if I didn’t, you would’ve refused to get any.”

“That’s not true,” Azzi argued, though her expression betrayed her.

Paige gave her a knowing look, her eyes twinkling with amusement. “Both of us know better.”

Azzi shook her head, a chuckle slipping from her lips as they fell into a comfortable silence. The streets were deserted, the only sounds coming from their footsteps and the faint hum of the city in the distance. Snowflakes drifted lazily from the sky, adding to the quiet beauty of the night.

For a moment, Paige just enjoyed the simplicity of being with Azzi, the warmth of her presence cutting through the chill in the air. But as they continued walking, her thoughts began to spill out.

Paige began, her voice softer now, “I really love you, you know I meant it when I said that right?”

Azzi glanced over at her, a small, dimpled smile breaking across her face as she took another bite of her ice cream. “I do know that,” she said warmly.

Paige’s cheeks reddened slightly, but she pressed on, her words tumbling out like a confession she couldn’t hold onto anymore. “I just..I want you to know that I want this…I want us to be more than just something we look back on from college Az. I want a future with you. I was daydreaming about you walking down the aisle the other day, and I thought I was insane. She paused, glancing at Azzi, who was watching her intently as she talked. “I just…I don’t know what I’d do without you anymore. You’re it for me.”

Azzi slowed her pace, turning to look fully at Paige. Her expression was filled with awe, her eyes shining under the soft glow of the streetlights. “Paige–” she began, her voice full of emotion, “I want a future with you too…I want nothing more than to come home to you everyday for the rest of my life.” 

Paige blinked, her heart swelling as Azzi continued.

“I’ll admit, it scared the hell out of me at first,” Azzi said, her voice quieter now. “We’ve only known each other for half a year and I would do anything for you. It feels like I’ve known you my whole life. Like…a part of me was waiting for you, and I’m discovering so much about myself the more I get to know you.”

Paige’s steps faltered slightly as she processed Azzi’s words, her chest tightening in the best way. She stopped, turning fully toward Azzi and searching her eyes for any hint of doubt—but all she saw was warmth and certainty.

“You mean that?” Paige whispered, her voice barely audible over the gentle hush of the falling snow.

Azzi nodded, her dimples deepening as she gave Paige a soft smile. “Every word,” she said.

Paige’s breath hitched, and she reached out, her fingers brushing Azzi’s cheek. “You make me feel like I can do anything, like I’m finally where I’m supposed to be.”

Azzi leaned into Paige’s touch, her eyes fluttering closed for a moment. “That’s because you are,” she replied.. “And if I have anything to say about it, you always will be.”

Paige’s lips quirked into a small smile as she stepped closer, the space between them vanishing. “How did I get so lucky?” she asked, her thumb gently tracing along Azzi’s cheekbone.

Azzi’s eyes sparkled as she tilted her head, closing the remaining distance between them. “I think we both got lucky,” she murmured before pressing her lips to Paige’s in a kiss that was soft. 

The world around them seemed to fade as they melted into each other, the warmth of the kiss cutting through the cold air. Paige’s free hand settled on Azzi’s waist, pulling her closer, while Azzi’s fingers threaded through Paige’s hair, anchoring her in the moment.

When they finally pulled apart, their foreheads pressed together, their breaths visible in the chill of the night.

“I used to think I didn’t have time for this. That I didn’t want anything like this,” Paige admitted, her voice low.

Azzi smiled, her hand sliding down to rest on Paige’s shoulders. “And now?” she asked, her tone gentle.

Paige let out a quiet laugh, her heart feeling impossibly full. “Now I can’t imagine my life without you. I don’t want to imagine it.”

They stood there for a moment longer, wrapped in each other’s arms, the snow continuing to fall around them. The quiet streets felt like their own little world, one where nothing existed but the love they shared.

Finally, Paige broke the silence with a playful grin. “Come on, we’re going to freeze out here.”

Azzi laughed, her dimples reappearing as she reluctantly stepped back. “Okay, but only because I don’t want you blaming me if you catch a cold. You’re a nightmare when you’re sick.”

Paige laced her fingers with Azzi’s, her grip firm and reassuring as they resumed their walk. Their shoulders bumped again, but this time it was intentional, a silent exchange of affection that needed no words.

[staylovesmiley]

Give Me Your TMI~ Chapter 5

˚⊹ᰔ Pairing; Yang Jeongin x Fem!reader, Stray kids x Fem!reader

₊˚⊹ᰔ ₊˚⊹ᰔ Summary; In a world where Humans and Hybrids should be living as equals, Hybrids are still viewed as being closer to their animalistic side than their humanistic. Deep in the woods lives a band of misfit hybrids who reject these societal views and keep to themselves, choosing to live away from humans. What happens when the youngest of this rogue group meets a lost Human girl, befriending her after an incident where he must rely on her for help?

₊˚⊹ᰔ ₊˚⊹ᰔ ₊˚⊹ᰔ Warnings; hybrid!au, female!reader, angst, mild violence, mentions of sexual harassment/assault and discrimination, she/her pronouns used for reader, this is very loosely based off the overall themes/tones of the manga and anime fruits basket~

In the coming days you would find flowers for you laying on your side of the bed waiting for you every afternoon.

Sometimes there were the same as the first, others they would be different, but the amount of flowers seemed to grow day by day until that morning you were woken up to the sight of a little bouquet tied with twine set on the bedside table. Jeongin was still sound asleep as you usually woke before him to help Minho with breakfast. Confusion laced itself through your half awake state and you reached over to shake the fox awake gently. “Innie- Jeongin wake up.” The hybrid startled, bolting up as if he were expecting there to be an emergency, looking over you frantically. “Wha- is everything okay, pretty?” He saw that you were in fact okay and calmed down, though confusion replaced his panic quickly. “Sorry- I didn’t mean to scare you I just…wanted to thank you for the flowers but really you didn’t have to go out so early to get them just so I’d wake up to see them.”

Now the hybrid was even more confused. He had noticed the vase on the dresser seemed to acquire new flowers each day but he had always assumed it had been you trying to brighten up the room and not that you were under the impression he had been the one bringing them to you. “Flowers? I didn’t get you flowers- I’ve been here since we went to bed last night…”

You frowned, even more confused than the hybrid. “But if you aren’t leaving them then who is…” the fox felt his jaw clench, an ugly little thing called jealousy once again possessing him as he cursed himself for not thinking of bringing you flowers first. Now if he were do so it would only be a mere imitation of the original and wouldn’t be as special, and he wanted to be special. “I’m sorry I woke you, innie…try and get some more rest before breakfast, okay?” He nodded, a pout still on his lips until you leaned down to place a gentle kiss to his temple and he melted instantly. Fighting the urge to pull you back against him and not allow you to leave he let himself fall back into a slumbering state as you got up and padded your way to the kitchen to meet the cat hybrid, bouquet carefully placed inside the vase with the rest of the flowers you had received over the course of the week.

The rest of the day the question lingered in your mind, even now as you stood side by side with Minho in the kitchen baking bread to go with the roast he had prepared for dinner.

The cat could tell something was weighing on you from the way your eyes seemed unfocused as you kneaded the dough in front of you. “What’s got you all lost in thought, pretty?” His words startled you, causing you to pause and look up at him. “How did you-“ Minho laughed, shaking his head. “If I didn’t snap you out of it you’d over knead that loaf and it would be a dense as a rock.” He teased, causing you to scoff playfully. “Yeah? Well maybe I like eating rocks.” You joked as you reached up to swipe a line of flour along his cheek. The cat smirked, shaking his head as he quickly landed a sharp slap upon your left asscheek. You gasped loudly before erupting into a fit of laughter.

Playing around like this had become commonplace for the two of you during prep for meal times. It made the whole process move a little slower but it always brightened your moods so much to the point that no one seemed to complain if dinner was late by a few minutes or if they had to sit around the kitchen island and watch the two of you goofing around while adding the finishing touches to their breakfasts. Food made with love and happiness tasted better anyways, they say.

The cat gave you a look, attempting to be stern but it didn’t fool you as he had been laughing along with you just seconds earlier. “Come on, out with it. What’s on your mind?” You sighed, calming down as you carefully broke the dough in front of you into three equal pieces and set two aside and you worked to roll the third into a long rope like shape. “I’ve been getting flowers every day for a week now…and I just assumed it was Innie leaving them for me. But this morning when I woke up there was a whole bouquet and so whoever it was would have had to get up either late last night or extremely early this morning to pick them for me…” Minho motioned for you to continue, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips but he wanted you to finish before saying his piece. “I woke Jeongin up to thank him for going through all the trouble but he swears it wasn’t him…he looked as confused as I was if not more- I just don’t know who else would be leaving them for me…”

The cat grinned, a mischievous glint in his eyes as he watched you take the now three rope like forms of dough and lay them side by side before braiding them together carefully. “I know who it is.” Your actions paused, curiosity piqued and you resumed your braiding before asking him. “Well- who is it?” “It’s Chan-hyung.”

Your head turned to look the older in the eyes so fast that your neck felt sore, the expression on your face full of shock and disbelief causing the cat hybrid to chuckle. “So shocking? He’s been watching you closely since you arrived here. He wasn’t sure how to get your attention, he’s still a bit hesitant to approach you.” You swallowed hard, still unable to fully believe Minho’s words. “But- Chan doesn’t like me…I’m sure he’s only letting me stay so that Jeongin doesn’t run away-“ your words caused the cat to double over with his laughter, shaking his head. “Oh our clueless, pretty little human- if you don’t believe me why don’t you ask him yourself?”

Your eyes widened as you watched him regain his composure and grab the bread pan for both of your loaves. “That’s beautiful, by the way. You’ll have to show me how to do that.”

You beamed at the praise, temporarily forgetting the conversation about your flowers having come from the wolf hybrid you were sure couldn’t care less as to whether you were dead or alive. As you watched the cat hybrid place the bread into the oven you heard a low growl coming from behind you. “What the fuck, Jeongin-“ Minho had turned around after shutting the oven door and his expression was one of concern and shock causing you to turn around and see your beloved fox hybrid glaring daggers at the older hybrid with his canines bared to him. “Mine.” He growled out, voice much deeper than you had ever heard from the youngest member of the house and your blood ran cold at the terrifying sight of him. “I-Innie?” Your voice was timid and he nodded towards Minho. “He put his hands on my pretty.” Your expression softened slightly and looked at Minho with confusion before remembering your interaction from earlier. There must have been a mark from the flower he had on his hands when he had slapped you playfully. “Oh Innie, we were just playing arou-“ before you could finish your sentence the younger had pounced on you, knocking you off your balance and you both came crashing to the floor with a loud thud.

Everything moved so quickly you barely had time to process what was happening you felt the sharp sting of the fox’s canines digging into the spot between your neck and shoulder. You let out a little yelp in pain, eyes screwed shut as your hands balled into fists gripping onto Jeongin’s sweater. “Yang Jeongin get off of her!” Minho shouted to the younger hybrid but when he took a step forward it only served to make him bite down a tad bit harder and you let out a little whimper. “Fuck-“ you heard someone from behind you but you didn’t recognize the voice. Suddenly Jeongin’s teeth loosened their grip and he was pulled back from you and held in Seungmin’s strong embrace as he thrashed violently. Minho was there in a second, pressing a dish towel against the wound on your neck. “Get yourself in check, kit. Pretty isn’t built like a hybrid and you have to be gentle with her.” The cat scolded as Seungmin pulled the fox hybrid back towards his room.

You felt dazed, letting Minho scoop you up and carry you over to the couch where he proceeded to patch you up. “I’m sorry about him, pretty…he- honestly I don’t know what’s gotten into him.” You shook your head, smiling weakly as he pulled back from applying a bandage over the bite mark. “I’m okay, it startled me more than anything I think…I should go talk to him-“ Slowly you stood and Minho’s hand shot out to wrap around your wrist, a look full of concern painting his beautiful face. “I’ll be okay, Min. He won’t hurt me.” The cat scoffed, motioning from the kitchen floor that was still stained with drops of your blood to your bandaged neck. You shook your head, gently removing his hand and making your way to your shared room with the youngest hybrid.

You gave a little knock before entering, seeing Jeongin curled up on the bed as Seungmin stood above him very clearly scolding him as Minho had earlier. Upon your entrance the beagle hybrid silenced himself and gave you a look full of mixed emotions you couldn’t exactly read before brushing past you with a soft. “Be careful.” Whispered your way and then you were left alone with the youngest.

“Innie…” immediately he cut you off, sitting up and allowing you to see the wet tear tracks that stained his red cheeks. “Oh god you’re okay- pretty I’m s-so sorry-“ seeing his distressed state you were quickly at his side, petting his hair as you attempted to soothe him. “Yes, I’m okay. But Jeongin-“ he pouted up at you, clearly expecting another tongue lashing. Instead you kept your words soft but your tone still held a sternness to it that let him know you were being serious. “You do not own me…no one does. I care for you dearly but you absolutely cannot act out like this every time I interact with someone else in a way you don’t like.” His pout deepened into a frown and he nodded so fast you feared he may injure his neck. “I won’t- I promise…I’m so sorry-“ You gave him a soft smile, pushing the hair that fell over his forehead back to give him a gentle kiss to the flushed skin there. “You are forgiven, but this will not happen again or I will go and room with someone else.” His eyes widened and a whimper escaped him before his arms wrapped around your waist as he clung to you desperately. “Not again, I’ll be good I promise.” His words caused you to frown and you shook your head as you continued to comb your fingers through his hair and give light scratches to his ears. “You’re always good, my Mr. fox…” he relaxed at your words, body going lax against you and after a while you heard soft snores coming from him. Poor thing, you thought to yourself, he got himself so worked up he exhausted himself. You carefully tucked him into bed and before leaving the room you glanced over at the vase full of flowers and sighed. You may regret this later, but you needed to hear it from the source yourself.

You found yourself standing in front of the door at the back of the cabin, hand poised in front of the wood but you were frozen stiff with hesitance. Your nerves were standing on end and you took several deep breaths before giving a few soft knocks to the door. Briefly you contemplated running away but before you could decide the door opened to reveal a very shocked looking wolf hybrid. “Oh- it’s you.” He said, voice void of emotion as ever and it caused you to wince slightly. “Um- hi, Chan…I just- well, Minho said that you’ve uhh…” you swallowed the lump in your throat, hoping it would allow your words to come out smoother. “Minho told me it’s been you leaving me flowers every day….is that true?”

Chan blinked a bit, heat rising to his cheeks and for the first time you noticed how on edge he himself seemed. Shit- Jeongin had told you he was extremely distrusting of humans. What if this whole time he wasn’t being cold but was really scared like how Seungmin was. You cursed yourself for assuming just because he was a wolf that he was to be feared instead of being the fearful one. “Yeah….uh- it was me..” he rubbed at the back of his neck nervously, eyes unable to meet yours and you couldn’t help but stare a bit in disbelief. “If it makes you uncomfortable I can stop-“

Chan couldn’t finish his words, the wind having been knocked out of him as your arms wrapped tightly around his waist and your face buried in his chest. “Thank you, really- no one has ever given me flowers before.” This was it, what he had been craving for weeks since you had joined their family. Your smaller frame pressed against his and your scent enveloping him. He knew you as a human couldn’t smell what they did, but the sweetness of your natural scent caused him to feel lightheaded as a hand slowly came to rest on the small of your back and hold you closer to him. “You deserve flowers.” Was all he said, blushing furiously as he stared down at you in disbelief. You giggled, pulling back to look up at him with a bright smile that nearly knocked him off his feet. Never did he think you would look at him so brightly, so unafraid.

Just then he noticed the bandage on your neck and his face fell. “What happened to your neck..?” Your eyes widened, as if you had already forgotten what had happened in the kitchen earlier. “Oh- it’s okay. Jeongin just-“ before you could finish the wolf let out a growl and tried to push past you to where the fox was sleeping in your shared room. “Wait Chan- it’s okay I already talked to him about it everything is fine he’s resting now-“ you wrapped both hands around his bicep and attempted to pull him back towards you and thankfully your pleading seemed to work as the normally so ridged composure he held around you melted away. Chan turned to face you, moving your hair aside to get a closer look at the bandage. “You sure you’re okay..?” His voice was so soft, laced with concern and you couldn’t help but smile as you nodded to him. “I’m positive. Please, let’s just drop it?” With a sigh, Chan nodded and instead pulled you back into his embrace. “I’m supposed to keep all of you safe…I’m sorry he hurt you-“

With a light giggle, the one that always seemed to brighten Jeongin’s day, you rested your cheek against his chest and let your eyes fall closed as you breathed in the earthy smell the hybrid held from his patrols. “Really, I’m okay. But thank you for worrying about me…and taking care of me even when I didn’t notice.” The wolf hybrid’s chest swelled with pride and he allowed himself to enjoy your embrace as he gently rubbed your back in slow circles. After a moment you pulled away, the wolf having to fight off a whine at the loss of contact. “I’m gonna go check on dinner…see if Minho needs my help-“

Nodding, Chan watched as you retreated to the kitchen with a soft smile on his blushing face, looking away bashfully only as you turned to give him one last smile before disappearing to help the second oldest finish cooking. Finally, some softness reserved only for himself.

author’s note; I know this is a much shorter chapter than I have been putting out but I wanted to get these plot points out of the way for a special Christmas chapter~~ I wanted to give it its own special chapter and not lump it together with these events so just a smaller update (hopefully you all don’t mind since ch4 was posted last night anyways and you only have to wait a couple of days for ch6) thank you for your continued love and support~ (side note but thank you @chancloud8 for the Minho butt slap scene hehehe)

taglist; (pink users I wasn’t able to tag) @coastinglove @estella-novella @chancloud8 @skzswife @motheraiya55 @zofia515 @skybluelixie @breadedloafs @inaribu00 @silly250 @royal-shinigami @thatgirlangelb @bby-boo4u @emmxxsworld @vampkittenb82 @h0rnyp0t @alisonyus @im-sinking-in-mud @ihrtlix @mrs-hwangh @danixiulin @wolfo2027 @kiaralynn3838 @ateez-atiny380 @daceyena @bookswillfindyouaway @blackcatpandora @popcatx0 @corgilover20 @marshmelonie @sassy-snassy @straykidslover2024

[kawoala]

DRIVEN BY ADRENALINE suna rintarou. chapter 001 ; only in the movies.

২ 𓂅 ࣪ ೨ ; 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓 (1,221)

২ 𓂅 ࣪ ೨ ; 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 (runa is very talkative, very minimal profanity, first mention of street racing, shy! reader, karasuno! reader, runa dressing reader in … provocative clothing so they look like they fit in, anxious! reader, runa + suna are cousins again — who’s surprised?? [hint: no one !!], social anxiety)

“Hi, I’m Runa! It’s really nice to meet you. I thought you weren’t going to show up at first, but now you’re here! You seem like a nice girl so far— my last roommate was a total bitch. Sorry, I tend to talk a lot about myself. Where are you from?”

You blink at the brunette a couple times. You’ve barely even crossed the threshold of the dorm, and she’s already bombarded you with seemingly hundreds of questions. Your mind catches up with you and you shake your head to clear the fog away. “It’s nice to meet you, too,” you say quietly, giving her a shy smile. “Um, my name is Y/n and I’m from Miyagi Prefecture. What, uh, what about you?”

“No way!” She exclaims, eyes lighting up. “I’m from Miyagi Prefecture. What school did you go to? Shiratorizawa? That school is really good at sports. Or, Karasuno, maybe? They’re also pretty good. I went to Johzenji— they’re okay at sports, but I never really paid attention to anything but volleyball. I was the manager for the boys’ club.”

“Um, yeah, I went to Karasuno. I wasn’t interested in any sports though, my focus was more on the arts. Choir, photography— stuff like that.”

She nods and hums. “Totally understandable. I mean, who wants to sit in a crowded gym full of sweaty people?” She shudders in mock disgust and you snicker quietly. “I sure didn’t. That’s why I was down on the court making sure nobody died from dehydration or anything.”

You laugh, but don’t say anything more. Her face lights up once more, like she’s just realized something, and she claps her hands together. “Oh my god! I didn’t even let you in the dorm yet. Please, come in, set your stuff down.” She steps out of the way and extends her arm, giggling.

You walk past her, glancing around the room. It’s not huge, by any means, but it’s still pretty nice. There’s two beds, two desks, and a loveseat in the corner that was probably a pain to get in the dorm.

You set your things down on your bare bed— your bag, a succulent plant your mother gave you right before you left, and a takeout bag that only has fries left in it. You were planning on giving them to Runa as a housewarming gift, but they’re probably cold now, so you decide not you.

“Okay, so,” Runa starts, making you turn to look at her. “A couple things to know; I talk a lot, which you probably already picked up on.” She laughs. It’s a nice sound. “I’ll keep my side of the room clean if you do. You seem like a clean person, though, so I doubt that will be a problem. I won’t bring anybody in here without talking to you first and I hope you’ll do the same.” She pauses and purses her lips as if in thought. “I think that’s it. If you have any, like, rules or anything let me know!”

You nod slowly, taking in her words. “Sounds great,” you say, smiling. “I don’t really know anyone here yet, so you don’t have to worry about me bringing people here. And I am a pretty clean person, so that’s not a problem either. Um, I probably won’t talk too much until I get to know you better.” You swallow. “Sorry if that’s mean.”

“No, no. I totally get that. I used to be that way, too, but then I was like, ’I don't really care anymore,’ so.” She shrugs. She opens her mouth to say something, but is cut off by a knock at the door. Both of your heads turn just as a piece of what looks like paper slips under the door.

You glance at each other, sharing a confused look, but then she walks over and picks it up. You watch her eyes go from narrowed, to familiarity. “Um, what is it?” You ask.

She flips it over to see if there’s anything on the back, then looks up at you and hesitates. “Uh.” She tucks a piece of hair behind her ear and holds it out to you. “It’s an invitation to a race tonight.”

“A race?” You repeat in a mumble, eyes scanning over the words quickly. ‘T-20. be there at 10 or don’t come at all pussies.’ Your eyes widen a bit and you have to read it again to make sure you’re not hallucinating.

“A street race,” she explains. “They’re, um, like, super rare to get an invitation to. My cousin is racing tonight, so that’s probably why I got one.” You look up to see her brows furrowed. She clocks your gaze and smiles politely. “Do you wanna go with me? It’s not very fun being the only girl there who’s not interested in going home with one of the racers.”

A street race? Like, a real life street race? Those are real? You thought they only existed in movies. Aren’t they illegal?

Hundreds of thoughts flood through your brain and you can feel the palms of your hands start to sweat. You swallow hard. “A street race.” A statement, not a question. “Aren’t those, um…”

“Illegal?” She laughs, but nods. “That’s why they’re invitation-only. You don’t have to come if you don’t want to. I understand. They’re not everyone's thing.”

You chew on your bottom lip, eyes falling back to the piece of paper in your hands. You applied to this college purely because you heard Tokyo was not boring. What kind of college girl would you be if you declined this invitation. With a deep breath, you nod. “No, I’ll go. Ten o’clock.” You glance at the clock. “Four hours to find an outfit that will make it look like I belong at an illegal street race. No problem.”

She laughs again, smiling so wide her eyes crinkle. “You’re funny, Y/n,” she says. “I think we’re going to be good friends.”

You smile back at her and, once again, she claps her hands together. “I’ll help you find an outfit, don’t worry.” She walks to her closet, then looks back at you. “How comfortable are you with fishnets?”

“Um.”

The two of you leave the dorms at approximately 9:30, riding in Runa’s shitty Toyota Corolla. You have to suppress a laugh when you see it because when she had told you her cousin was racing tonight, you’d expected her to have a nice car like you assume her cousin does.

You were horribly wrong.

When you pull up to the underpass, it’s packed. Actually, maybe packed is an understatement because there are probably over 500 hundred people present. Almost instantly, you start to sweat. Even in the short-shorts and deliberately ripped up t-shirt that Runa dressed you in. Saying you’re out of your element is also probably an understatement.

You step out of the car and a mixture of gasoline and exhaust fumes hits your nose. You try your best not to scrunch your face up, but it happens anyway.

“You get used to the smell!” Runa shouts over the loud music and constant revving of engines. Somewhere to the left of you, someone screams at the top of their lungs. You glance at Runa and she snickers, walking closer to you. “And the noise.”

২ 𓂅 ࣪ ೨ ; 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

@sahrii , @cherrysurf , @heartmaddie , @jpegarchives , @massacremars

@vertejay , @tiramizuloz , @gumims , @mybelovedvi , @chaotic-neutral-ig

@usbrous , @iheartamora , @iluv-ace , @xavlyzn , @velvetreds

[aettuddae]

business matter — chapter 129.

a christmas special.

↳ synopsis: two of the most important kpop companies covet a partnership with a huge global brand, only to be surprised when the deal is extended to both labels. fearing potential sabotage and cynical strategies to secure exclusivity for just one of them, both CEOs resort to desperate measures. in a bid to maintain trust and prevent betrayal before the signing, they come up with a pact: forcing a fake relationship between the leaders of their star girlgroups. if one side attempted to fail the other, they threaten to expose it all to the conservative south korea.

masterlist | prev | next

[written chapter]

serim was not good at coping with the cold. she liked the winter, she had always done, since she was little she spent most of the year looking forward to the low temperatures and, with it, the snow, but still, she was not good at coping with that time of the year. she always got sick and she used to care little about it, but since she became a trainee and later a singer she had to start taking care of her health and vocal cords, so in the most recent years of her life she hardly ever left her house during those times, unless she went to the many activities an idol has to do during the holidays or one of her friends insisted so much that she could not say no.

on that day serim's house was extremely warm, because even though she was not working, she was used to doing everything possible to avoid illness, and she was not willing to surrender to the freezing weather in seoul. she felt sorry for her plants, many were not the kind that could stand being in such a warm environment, but it was a force greater than herself.

having an altered perception of climate, she did not even think about the wind and the coolness that would hit her when she opened the balcony door, causing her to jump back inside and quickly close the sliding glass. she was extremely excited, running around the house and talking to her hedgehog who was pacing the living room floor uncomprehending and probably sweating from how high the thermostat was set. she went with speed to her room and threw on whatever winter clothes she could find, then hurried back and tried again to get outside.

still shivering a little, she leaned her forearms against the railing of her balcony and leaned against it, watching the first snow fall in seoul.

she loved winter, and even though it was still a month away, she loved the feeling of christmas approaching. the first snowfall had always been one of those important events for her. one of those that when it's about to happen you can't shake the anxiety, or the sensation that something important is in the air. it tends to fall in late november and serim during those dates was always on the lookout for any sign of what day it would be. she loved it, and as soon as she saw it happening just outside her house, she couldn't contain her joy, standing there motionless watching the snowflakes fall for a long while.

she had nothing better to do, after all, the hiatus was killing her. her friends were fully occupied, her members were in the activities she would want to be in and her family was far away in daegu. she couldn't help that those would be lonely and boring holidays, but at least she had time to appreciate nice things like this one.

or so she would once she opened the door to whoever claimed to see her in the middle of a snowfall.

serim sighed, she hated it when she was interrupted in her few moments when she could enjoy things that excited her. she walked back into her apartment and made her way to open the door.

the doorbell had rung, not the telecommunicator, so she figured it might be one of her bandmates, her manager, or a friend. since she didn't have to work or keep a schedule, she wasn't fully aware of what day it was, so she wasn't aware of what her acquaintances might be doing at the moment or who was free.

what she didn't expect was to find jimin behind the door.

it had been a couple of months since she had seen her in person, although they texted sometimes, maybe since september they hadn't been in one another's presence. she was always busy, she had gone on tour and back, only to embark on a new comeback and promotions season. awards season had started as well and she, as the big star of the year, had to be at every event that happened. while serim had been a little more docile with her, open to the idea of doing some things together if the occasion arose, jimin just hadn't had the time, she wanted to take serim on dates, on trips, be together at her house, go for walks, help her with whatever she needed, but she was overworked and couldn't afford it.

except for that day, one of the few days off she'd had in a while.

jimin had been looking forward to it because she had already planned to go visit serim, even if she threw a tantrum when she saw her, she wanted to at least hug her after those two months without having her around, without feeling her scent nor holding her hands. she hadn't told her she was going because she didn't want to be rejected before she could be in front of the woman, which risked a fit of possible anger from the older girl, but jimin missed her so much that she didn't think anything through.

she just needed a plan, something to do together if serim didn't kick her out of her house, and the snow had come as if it heard her pleading. as soon as she looked out her window and noticed the first flakes, she got ready at the speed of light and frantically went out to find a cab. and now she was in the hallway of serim's apartment, covered in snow, her arms stretched in the air in excitement and wearing a silly grin because of the oldest.

she looked so adorable in that stupid giant blue scarf and her glasses that serim had to resist the urge to throw herself at her, limbs almost lifting on their own, stifling a smile using all the strength in her body.

serim had missed jimin too, of course she had, and she hated herself for it.

"what are you doing here?" the owner of the apartment asked not even greeting her.

"why do you have hello kitty pants on?" she ignored, not wanting to deal with her bitterness, and pointed to the pink garment with drawings of the character.

"because i'm at home." she said obviously.

"it's a choice." she cocked her head to the side without stopping to look at them.

"are you going to tell me what you're doing in my house while it's snowing?" she folded her arms and furrowed her eyebrows.

"that!" she jumped on the spot with glee. "i came looking for you so we could go see the first snow of the year together!" she announced in a jovial tone.

"and why would i want to see the first snow with you?" she was dying to go with her.

"because you love me." she replied simply. "and even my company is better than watching it from your balcony alone." she obtruded.

"how do you know i was watching it from the balcony?" she exclaimed in surprise.

"you're covered in coats when inside your house it's amazonian temperatures and you have snow melting on your arms." she pointed to the detail.

serim raised her arms suddenly placing them in front of her eyes to look at the clues of her actions in these startled, with her mouth slightly open, confirming that she had given herself away. she dropped them on both sides of her body dejectedly and gave the girl a sideways glance, contemplating her proposal, to end up turning around without a word and heading to her bedroom.

"where are you going?" confused, the younger girl raised her voice as she watched her walk away.

maybe serim was feeling very lonely during the hiatus, or maybe she needed jimin more than she liked to admit.

"i can't leave my house in hello kitty pants." she replied disinterestedly, causing the happy grimace on karina's face to widen.

in an extremely awkward silence they made their way to the small park in the gated community where serim resided. they had so many things they wanted to say to each other, but communication had never been their best quality as a duo. serim wanted to know how she had been during that time, if she was tired, and how her busy schedule was treating her, or ask why she couldn't get her out of her mind even when they hadn't seen each other for so long. jimin, on her side, wanted to generate any kind of conversation, it was enough for her to know that serim was enjoying her company. but neither of them dared to let that happen, whether it was out of spite or fear.

but jimin hadn't gone to see her in such particular weather after so many days of not having her around just to be silent, though if that's the way it should be, at least she was happy to have her at arm's length. she took a breath and with the hand that gravitated around serim's she reached for hers, intertwining their fingers once their palms came into contact. pathetically, she found herself closing her eyes for a second, bracing herself for the terrible reaction expected from the woman, but she received none, the girl left her hand there with hers, and jimin turned to check, disoriented, only to find her admiring the falling snow so fascinated that she hadn't remembered she had to hate karina full time.

she smiled to herself as she closed the distance between them, making their bodies rub against each other, securing her grip on her.

she was walking hand in hand with serim, when was the last time that had happened? her heart was beating at such a rapid rate as her senses were lost in the warmth and perfume of the woman that it felt like a drill.

when they arrived at the park it was almost empty. it was not a place where there were never many people as it was in a neighborhood of rich people who didn't have time or desire to walk around the area, and fewer people there were going to be with such weather. they walked calmly to the center in a void of words that was no longer as uncomfortable as a few blocks ago, stopping near the structure that crowned the place to appreciate how the snow fell on it and its surroundings.

"do you like snow?" inquired karina once they found a position where they could appreciate the spectacle and stood there.

"yes i like it, winter it's my favorite season." she gave her a look for the first time all the way there. "even though my immune system is a mess, i always get sick." she let out a sheepish chuckle.

"winter is my favorite season too." she settled in by tying her body to jang's arm. "and that's because you don't eat well!" she complained. "but don't worry, if you get sick i'll take care of you." she arranged a few strands of hair falling over the older girl's face.

"i do eat well only you don't see it." she smiled sideways.

"don't try lying to me." she shot her a look of suspicion, making her laugh.

jimin couldn't hide the satisfaction that this had brought her, feeling that serim didn't hate her for a second, she felt fulfilled. they held each other for a moment there watching the scenery, being as close as they rarely were outside of serim's room, swaying quietly as if they weren't two hurricanes trying to fit together. karina released her grip on her to put herself opposite to her and take the vocalist's face in her hands, leaning her body forward to leave a soft kiss on her cheek. serim wasn't expecting it and the surprise left her serious, speechless, she averted her gaze to the side, pressing her lips into a line, but a slight blush was exposed on her cheeks that she hoped jimin would believe was just from the cold.

"namu." she called to her in a low tone, so that only she would hear. "i have to tell you something."

"what is it?" she turned her eyes to her, face expressionless.

"i..." she took a long breath through her nose, trying to calm the uneasiness in her stomach from nerves. "i want you." she blurted out, pulling her shoulders back a little, puffing out her chest showing confidence. "and i want to spend this christmas with you."

"this christmas you're going to be working." she rebutted with discomfiture. "just like me, i hope." she spoke to the sky as if asking god.

"no, namu." she was already beginning to feel the anxiety of not being able to emit what she felt the right way and was giving her first uneasy hands through the air. "i mean i want to spend this christmas with you and many more." she clarified. "i want you to be my present." she rested her index finger on the girl's chest, pointing at her. "i want to kiss you and have you be the first person i greet." she held up the opening of the girl's coat. "i want to be with you."

serim was having difficulty maintaining eye contact, and even more difficulty finding something to reply to a statement that made her uneasy. "what do you mean by that?"

"i'm confessing." she admitted simply. "that's what you're supposed to do in the first snow."

"a confession is for someone who doesn't know how you feel." sadness returned to her demeanor as it always did when she was around jimin. "i think you've already told me everything you have going on with me."

"really?" her voice rose slightly, getting a little desperate. "do you really think you know everything i feel about you?" she questioned. "do you know that i can't stop thinking about you? that every action i take i think about what your reaction would be?" her breathing was slowly failing. "i have a hard time sleeping at night because i wish you were by my side." she rubbed her face with her palms trying to get rid of the frustration.

"jimin, the problem is that i don't believe you." she interrupted her weakly, her eyes on the floor.

"and what do you need me to do to prove to you that it's true?" her movements were wide and fast because of distress. "to make you understand that i despise myself almost as much as you do for hurting you." she believed her eyes were glazing over, but she didn't have the composure to concentrate on anything at the moment. "i was wrong, serim, i tried to pretend that nothing changed in my life the moment we got the deal, that you didn't shake my floor from the first moment." she was thankful that they are practically alone in the park because she was embarrassing herself. "i tried to do what i thought was best for me and i was wrong, i'm sorry, i'm so sorry." she swallowed hard trying to undo the lump in her throat. "i understand that i hurted you, that i was an idiot, but i want you." she assured. "i need you." she added. "and i don't know how to make you see that."

"do you love me?" she finally dared to face her.

"serim." she diverted her attention to something off to the side, blocking herself completely.

"serim, what?" she bit down hard. "that's what i need." she confirmed. "if you can tell me to my face that you love me, then i'm willing to take the time to work out everything bad that happened between us." she asked. "if you tell me that you love me, i'll leave it in the past."

"i adore you with all my heart." she closed her eyes as if that could make that moment less real.

"but it's not enough."

"no, it's not that." she held her arms so she wouldn't pull away. "it's complicated." tears began to stain her cheeks. "i care for you so much..."

"why is it so hard for you to say you love me?" there was disappointment in her eyes. "don't you feel it?"

"it's not that i don't feel it..."

"then what is it?" she became defensive.

"it's complicated." she reiterated. "it's difficult." she said in a defeated attitude. "this all happened under peculiar circumstances and-"

"then it's difficult for me to forgive you." she cut her off.

serim raised her hands to remove the hold the younger girl had on her and started walking with speed back to her house. jimin watched her walk away, but wouldn't let her go, she ran out after her, catching her, making them face each other. she lifted serim's hand, bringing it to her lips to give it a short kiss while their eyes were connected, thus then grabbing her waist and pulling her close enough that she could rest her forehead against hers just by folding her body a little forward.

"make a wish." she murmured.

"can you leave me alone?"

"if you say it out loud it doesn't come true." she shook her head.

serim dropped her eyelids, a little because she no longer had the strength to argue or resist the questionable things jimin did, and a little because she wanted to stop the approaching crying, karina copied the actions when she saw her do it. after a moment they both, still with their heads against each other, looked at each other again, ruefully and wearily.

"you won't tell me what it is this time?" the blackhaired inquired.

"you said it." she whispered. "if i tell you it won't come true."

—that you can accept that you love me. —thought serim.

"i asked for you to let me go make cookies at your house."

"i can't believe it." she broke off suddenly. "are you serious?" she shouted at her upset.

"i know we just fought, but we always fight." she tried to reason, seriousness of the moment all gone. "i haven't seen you in two months, i just want to spend time with you." she pleaded. "get mad at me later, but don't leave now." she added. "please, stop leaving."

serim hated herself for how aware she was that no matter how angry she got with jimin, for whatever reason, she always came back to her. "if you say it out loud it doesn't come true." she reiterated bitterly as she realized how pathetic she was.

"but you miss me too."

"let's go." she commanded, causing the younger girl to cheer. "but no joy." she pointed her finger at her apprehensively. "i'm too upset with you." she reminded. "these are going to be the saddest cookies you'll ever eat in your life."

[firstkanaphans]

P'Dome released a 3-chapter chat fic set in the Peaceful Property universe as a Christmas present to the fandom. You can view the first chapter here in Thai and I have translated the text below for anyone interested. I will translate the other two chapters as well, but it may take me a few days. Enjoy!

Mon, 23/12 Vimarnsukman Ghost-Hunting Co.

go HOME!: [rock ‘n roll Santa gif reading “MERRY X-MAS!!!”] go HOME!: let’s play secret santaaaaaaa pangx2🍞: screammmmm pangx2🍞: yes yes yes yes yes yes Lawyer Kan: If I could interrupt the fun na ka Lawyer Kan: I’ve told you before ka Lawyer Kan: If you want to talk about something unrelated to work Lawyer Kan: Please go chat in the group “Vimarnsukman Recreation” ka go HOME!: 🙄🙄🙄 pangx2🍞: Maeeeee pangx2🍞: Me and P’Home are the only ones who respond in that group pangx2🍞: Mae and Hia won’t even send a sticker Lawyer Kan: I respond ka go HOME!: 🤔 Lawyer Kan: In my head pangx2🍞: [gif of a cartoon rabbit reading “WOW”] Lawyer Kan: If Khun Peach doesn’t respond, I’m not responding either ka peach93: Kan… go HOME!: 🤣🤣🤣 go HOME!: let’s play naaaaaaaa go HOME!: we can pick a date now go HOME!: christmas eve, tuesday the 24th, at the restaurant pangx2🍞: Is there a theme, Por? pangx2🍞: In case I want to make content for my channel 💅🏼💅🏼💅🏼 Suradech Ketmuangrong: What is “secret satan”? go HOME!: [Halloween gif reading “BOO HAPPY HALLOWS EVE”] go HOME!: a halloween theme! go HOME!: since we’re ghost hunters 😎 Lawyer Kan: I need some additional details na ka Lawyer Kan: What is the price limit ka? Lawyer Kan: I want to make sure I follow the rules ka go HOME!: no limit baby go HOME!: up to you ka go HOME!: just put some heart into it 😘 Lawyer Kan: Would it be possible for me not to play ka? pangx2🍞: You have to play, Mae!!! pangx2🍞: @ Suradech Ketmuangrong I will teach you!

3 days ago Fr, 20/12 peach93 & go HOME!

peach93: Ai’Home peach93: Are you busy? go HOME!: [Phone call with Peach lasting 3:07:13] peach93: 🙂 go HOME!: [gif of Donald Duck tucking himself into bed that says “GOOD NIGHT!”]

Sat, 21/12

peach93: [Phone call to Home. No response] peach93: [Phone call to Home. No response] go HOME!: Sorry! I was outside go HOME!: [Phone call to Peach. No response] go HOME!: [Phone call to Peach. No response]

Sun, 22/12

go HOME!: [Phone call to Peach. No response] go HOME!: [Phone call to Peach. No response] go HOME!: dude go HOME!: don’t play hard to get man go HOME!: please call me

Today Mon, 23/12

go HOME!: hey mueng! go HOME!: i got your sister for secret santa go HOME!: what’s she into these days? go HOME!: … go HOME!: silence  go HOME!: are you still sulking? peach93: I’m not sulking! peach93: I’m busy with other people go HOME!: what other people? peach93: [picture of a temple] go HOME!: Ai’Peach! go HOME!: I told you not to go!!!! peach93: Well, I went peach93: What are you going to do about it now? go HOME!: mueng go HOME!: it wasn't just me. the villagers said not to go either go HOME!: that it’s not an ordinary ghost go HOME!: it’s a demon go HOME!: [gif from Attack on Titan of men running] go HOME!: have you ever seen Attack on Titan? peach93: Isn’t this better than doing nothing? peach93: The villagers needed help, so I had to come go HOME!: you have to help yourself first, asshole go HOME!: just opening the restaurant every day is already incredibly tiring go HOME!: you still go to the market by yourself every morning peach93: I invite you every morning peach93: Why don’t you go with me? go HOME!: i’m not a morning person ka go HOME!: so what's your plan? go HOME!: when the sun goes down, you go off and fight demons? go HOME!: no wonder you asked to close the restaurant today go HOME!: it’s because of this na go HOME!: i don’t like it peach93: That’s my job! go HOME!: I don’t care go HOME!: why haven’t you been answering the phone? peach93: I already told you. I came to help the villagers go HOME!: you’re sulking. just admit it. go HOME!: ai’peach go HOME!: you know why i don’t want you to go go HOME!: it’s dangerous go HOME!: it’s so dangerous man  go HOME!: if something happened to you... peach93: Yeah yeah yeah. I know. go HOME!: Send me your location peach93: 🐳🐋 [Translator’s note: the word for “location” is the same as the word for “dolphin.”] go HOME!: that’s a whale peach93: [sends his location] go HOME!:🐻‍❄🐻‍❄️

5 hours later Tue, 24/12 01:13

peach93: Are you home yet? go HOME!: [Gif of Donkey from Shrek shaking his head. Gif reads “NOPE.”] peach93: You should have just slept over in my room like I said go HOME!: your bed is too small go HOME!: it’s uncomfortable peach93: You’re so spoiled, Khun Noo peach93: I didn’t hear you complaining when we were working together to set up the restaurant go HOME!: I was drunkkkkkkkk go HOME!: that doesn’t count! peach93: 555 peach93: Fine peach93: Thank you for coming na peach93: 🙂 go HOME!: Come on na. Who is it? go HOME!: the name of the villager peach93: Asshole. I’m not talking to you anymore. go HOME!: 🤣🤣🤣 go HOME!: [Phone call to Peach. No response.] go HOME!: hey! go HOME!: what’s the matter? why aren’t you picking up? peach93: Aren’t you with P’Suradech? go HOME!: yes. why? peach93: Call me when you get to your room. go HOME!: why?  go HOME!: are you embarrassed? peach93: I’m not embarrassed! go HOME!: sure sure sure

44 minutes later

go HOME!: [Phone call to Peach lasting 02:08:09] peach93: 🙂 go HOME!: [Gif of Jerry from Tom and Jerry crawling into bed with the caption “NIGHTY NIGHT”] go HOME!: hey wait go HOME!: what does your sister like na? go HOME!: damn it! we talked for hours  go HOME!: i forgot to ask go HOME!: 5555 peach93: No matter what you get her, Pang will love it. peach93: just put some heart into it 😘 go HOME!: dude go HOME!: r u bullying me? go HOME!: [sticker of angry kitten] peach93: 55555555555

Tue, 24/12 11:03 pangx2🍞 & Lawyer Kan

pangx2🍞: Mae pangx2🍞: [Picture of Peach and Home asleep in bed together] pangx2🍞: What does this mean!!!!!! Lawyer Kan: … Lawyer Kan: I think this is how boys have fun ka pangx2🍞: Mae! I’m serious! pangx2🍞: since when did they start seeing each other? pangx2🍞: Mae! Why do you never answer me? pangx2🍞: fine Pangx2🍞invites Suradech Ketmuangrong to the chat pangx2🍞: P’ Suradech Suradech Ketmuangrong: Krup pangx2🍞:  [Picture of Peach and Home asleep in bed together] Lawyer Kan: You didn't have to send it again ka pangx2🍞: Does P’Suradech already know ka!!!! Suradech Ketmuangrong: Krup pangx2🍞: omgggg since when ka! Suradech Ketmuangrong: Krup pangx2🍞: since the day the restaurant opened? pangx2🍞: screammmmmmmmm Lawyer Kan: Khun Pang ka Lawyer Kan: All Khun Saradech said was “krup” ka pangx2🍞: Mae, be careful pangx2🍞: this is a company secret na pangx2🍞: you’re violating section 19/93, paragraph 1991 Lawyer Kan: Where did you get that information ka? pangx2🍞: I just typed random numbers pangx2🍞: but that’s not the point! pangx2🍞: Mae! pangx2🍞: this kind of thing affects the stability of the company na Lawyer Kan: It’s all true. Just like you said, Khun Pang ka pangx2🍞: Then tonight we will reveal this secret to make them lose face!!!! Lawyer Kan: Your life seems very empty, Khun Pang na ka pangx2🍞: secret santa ❌ secret lover ✅ pangx2🍞: Ai’Hia Peach! Ai’P’Home! pangx2🍞: I will see you tonight for sure!!! Suradech Ketmuangrong: Krup

To be continued

[padfootagain]

Love in Verses (XXXIX)

Chapter 39: ���He grew so tender and I so grateful which maybe tells you something about how it was’

Hi! Here is a new chapter! Alright, things can’t be perfect all the time, let’s spice things up a little bit…

I hope you like this chapter! Tell me what you think!

****

Pairing: Hozier x fem!reader (professor!AU)

Warnings: slow burn, angst, hurt, hurt/comfort, tooth-rotting fluff in later chapters, some scenes in later chapters will have heavy sexual themes even if it’s not explicit nsfw description, so no minors here

Summary: Your life seems perfect. You're engaged, your career is thriving as you become an assistant professor at Trinity College, and this Andrew Hozier-Byrne you're sharing an office with seems to be a nice guy you hope to call a friend soon. Life seems to be smiling at you... until everything goes sour. When your fiancé breaks up with you, your perfect world shatters. And when your colleague also gets his heart broken soon after, your shared office seems to be a curse rather than a blessing. But Andrew seems determined to mend your broken hearts... Will things finally go according to plan?

Word Count: 4508

Masterlist for the series – Hozier’s masterlist – Main masterlist

Here

After it ended badly it got so much better which took a while of course but still he grew so tender and I so grateful which maybe tells you something about how it was I’m trying to tell you I know you have staggered wept spiraled through a long room banging you head against it holding crushed bird skulls in your hands your many hearts unstrung unable to play a note their wood still beautiful and carved so elaborately maybe a collector would want them stupid collectors always preserving and never breaking open the jars so everyone starves while admiring the view you don’t own anyone everything will be taken from you go ahead and eat this poem it will help

Kim Addonizio

“You should bring Y/N over next Sunday.”

Raine’s invitation wasn’t the first one of this kind, and Andrew smiled as she offered to welcome you to Saturday’s family dinner. Still, he didn’t want to push you, you had been together for merely a couple of months, he didn’t want to rush you.

“Soon, I promise, mom.”

“You know we like her already… but your dad and I want to know her better.”

“I know, mom.”

“Then bring her next week.”

“I’ll think about it.”

The door of your shared office opened, and you walked in, smiling as you saw him. God, you were so beautiful today…

“I have to go, mom. I’ll call you later, yeah?”

“Sure, honey. Have a nice day.”

“You too, mom. Bye. Love you.”

“Love you, Andy.”

He ended the call and turned to you as you walked around your desk, putting down your bag.

“How was your meeting, babe?” Andrew asked, walking over to you, bending to avoid the lamp hanging from the ceiling and burying his hands in his pockets.

“It was… interesting.”

“That bad, huh?”

“We’ll see. For now, some professors are reluctant at the thought of organising a full set of conferences around women and the female gaze. They fear there ‘won’t be enough speakers’.”

“Bullshit.”

“Yeah… it’s okay, I can still convince them.”

“I’m sure you will. You can do it, babe.”

“Thanks, honey.”

You smiled up at him when he moved even closer, so close you had to lean against your desk.

“Did you want something else, professor?”

God, his heart was beating so fast… it was so fucking hot when you called him that…

He had to remind himself that you were working, that he couldn’t simply devour you…

“Professor…”

“Stop it… we can’t.”

“Hmmm… I know.”

“Then why are you teasing, professor?”

Your lips parted for a second, and he smirked at the tortured look on your face.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer, until he rested his hands on your desk, right next to where your lower back was pressed against the furniture, enclosing you between his arms.

“I like it when you blush,” you confessed, making him laugh.

“That’s still pretty cruel…”

You let out a sigh when he connected his lips to your neck, when he bit and kissed your pulse, his hold on your desk tightening so he would keep his composure. Your fingers got lost in his hair.

“Was that your mother on the phone?” you asked, breathless.

He merely hummed in response.

“How is she?”

“Fine…”

Gently, you pulled him away from your skin.

“We can’t, not here…”

Andrew nodded, trying to hide how hard it was to pull away.

“How are your parents,” you asked while he took a step back, remaining close to you, but none of you touching the other anymore.

“They’re fine. Just… the usual. My mom is working on a new painting.”

“Amazing!”

He thought about asking you, then. But it was too soon… it was too soon…

Were you really over Frank? Would you really stay? He couldn’t get his parents involved if you simply chose to disappear…

“Yeah, it’s pretty nice.”

He shook himself, put his hands into his pockets again.

“I should go back to work,” he reasoned. “I need to go to the library this afternoon, will probably work from there for a few hours.”

“Yeah, I should go back to work too… I have so much to do.”

“You’re still coming over tonight, right?”

“Of course!” you answered with an excited grin.

“I might not come back to the office before heading home…”

“Okay, I’ll see you tonight at seven, then?”

“Yeah, sure.”

You rose to your tiptoes to peck his lips, before turning to your computer, and Andrew walked back to his desk to gather his things.

He kept on wondering if bringing you to his parents was a good idea or not…

Andrew was an overthinker, which meant that he had a special talent for ruining his own life.

His day had taken a bad turn after that shared moment in your office. He was frustrated with the article he was working on, and the conversation with his mother kept on being played on repeat in his head.

And he simply… doubted himself.

There were days when his brain got too busy, too loud, and darker thoughts and doubts were enhanced in those times. And now that he was torturing himself on whether or not he was going too fast, his own insecurities were coming back. Was he really good enough for you? So far, he hadn’t had to change to make you love him, wasn’t that strange? He was used to tune down some of his interests, to be quieter than he wanted to be, so Sam would love him.

Wasn’t it strange that you were still talking for hours? That you were still interested in him? That you… didn’t ask for him to change?

And what if you longed for Frank still?

Lost in his thoughts, he barely noticed the knocking on his front door. Only when Elwood sprinted across the room and barked at the wooden surface did he realise that it was already 7 pm, that you were waiting on his doorstep.

He heaved a sigh, forced himself to hide his pain, before walking across his flat to welcome you in.

You greeted him with a grin, and a pizza box.

“Brought dinner!” were your first words, and he couldn’t refrain a smile as he took the box you were handing him.

“Thanks, baby.”

You went to your tiptoes to kiss him, and while he pecked your lips he wondered if it would be too much if he yielded to his impulse and hugged you now.

Yeah… probably… he would be too much…

“How was your afternoon?” you asked, taking off your shoes and jacket, before giving Elwood some scratches.

“Erm… yeah… it was fine.”

You looked at him, something expectant on your face, but he didn’t want to bother you with some unimportant problems. Sam was never interested in those anyway…

“Are you hungry, then?” he asked, already walking to his kitchen.

“Erm… sure! Yeah! Starving actually!”

“How was your afternoon?”

“Nothing very important happened… but I’ve found some interesting articles…”

He let you babble away for a while, nodding while he set the table.

You started eating, but then you grew quiet, and he wasn’t sure why. You had been excited, and then you simply… stopped talking.

Was he being annoying? Was that something he needed to change?

At the back of his head, his mother’s voice was still asking to invite you, and he was still debating on whether it was a good idea or not, and what about Frank? Did you still think about him? Did you still want him? Did you…

“Andy?”

He looked up at you, surprised that you were using his name. You hadn’t in a few weeks. The pet names were all you used when you were alone by now.

“Hmm?”

“Is there something wrong?”

“No… why?”

“I don’t know, you’re… you’re very quiet tonight.”

He couldn’t tell you that he was asking himself a thousand questions, that he was doubting himself, that he wanted to hold you close, because he would be too much then, and anyway he couldn’t talk about his feelings, he was never good at it and…

“Did something happen this afternoon? Are you okay?” you insisted, and he looked away, rubbing at his collarbone now.

“No, no… I’m okay.”

You remained quiet for a while.

“You can tell me anything, you know? I’m your girlfriend, I’m here for you,” you offered in a gentle, soothing voice.

“I’m fine.”

“Okay.”

“You… you were talking about your seminar… what about that speaker you wanted to contact, then?”

“Erm… I’ll contact her tomorrow.”

“Okay.”

He waited for you to speak some more, but you didn’t, and the silence that settled was awkward, at best.

This was so unusual for you. It was supposed to be easy to be with you, what was happening,? What was he doing wrong?

Would you leave? Would you regret Frank all over again?

“Andy.”

“Yeah?”

“Please, tell me what’s wrong. Why aren’t you talking to me? Is there something bothering you? Have I done something?”

“No, no… nothing, I’m just… tired.”

You stared at him, but there was nothing else he could say without talking about his feelings, and he couldn’t do that. He didn’t want to bother you, to be too much, and anyway, he didn’t like talking about his feelings, so what was the point in burdening you with those…

“Oh, okay… do you want to go to bed early?”

“Erm… sure, yeah…”

“Okay… I’ll clean up with you, and then leave you to it, then.”

He blinked up at you as you got up and picked up your plate.

You were leaving? You were supposed to stay the night…

“You… you can stay, if you’d like.”

“It’s okay, I understand that you’re tired. We can have dinner again tomorrow.”

“Okay…”

You gave him a bright grin. Were you happy to leave?

He started fidgeting, hurried to clean up the table. He noticed the way you seemed disappointed when you moved to his hallway though.

He was doing everything wrong, somehow, what was he doing wrong?

You wanted Frank again, of course, because he would know how to hold you back, and Andrew didn’t, and…

“Andy?”

“Hmm?”

“I get that you’re not in the mood to talk, but… I wish you’d tell me what’s wrong.”

“Nothing’s wrong, babe.”

“Please… you’ve barely said a word tonight. What’s going on?”

“Nothing, I just… wanted to listen to you.”

You frowned at that.

“You… you didn’t say anything.”

“I had nothing to say.”

“Now, that’s not true. Why are you lying?”

“I’m not.”

“Andy…”

“I said I’m fine!”

Your eyes grew a little round at his harsh tone, and he regretted snapping as soon as the words passed his lips, but it was too late to take the words back now.

“Why are you mad at me?” you asked, hurt evident on your features.

He heaved a frustrated sigh.

“I’m not mad at you, I’m… I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Alright… well, I’m here if you change your mind.”

He watched as you grabbed your jacket, couldn’t refrain the words from passing his lips.

“Why are you leaving?”

You turned to him with a puzzled frown.

“You said you were tired, and you don’t want to talk to me… I thought you didn’t want me to stay.”

“I… I didn’t mean for you to leave.”

“Then… talk to me.”

He heaved a frustrated sigh, ran a hand through his hair.

“I… there’s no need, I’m fine.”

“That was almost convincing, I’ll give you another try.”

“It’s not funny.”

You put on your jacket, and he was so frustrated right now, by his own thoughts, by you leaving, by his stupid feelings making him vulnerable and overreacting and…

“Are you angry?” he asked, but you shook your head.

“No… disappointed, rather.”

You were disappointed in him… of course, you were. You thought he was worth the trouble, but he wasn’t, and you were realising it, and Frank was better even though he was a fucking jerk and…

His hurt came out of his mouth as acidic words.

“Right, leave then.”

You froze, flashed him a glare.

“What’s wrong with you?”

He rubbed at his neck, until it was painful, but he didn’t care.

“Nothing’s wrong…”

“Of course, something’s wrong! I’m not blind! I’m not an idiot!”

“Why are you leaving? You said you’d stay tonight…”

“That was before you acted like you didn’t want me here.”

“I didn’t…”

“Of course you did!”

You started to put on your shoes.

You were leaving… you were leaving…

“Alright then, leave!”

“That’s what I’m doing!”

You were leaving because you didn’t want him, because he wasn’t enough, because he hadn’t changed for you, because Frank was better, Frank…

“Well, then… go back to Frank!”

The look of horror on your face sobered him up, made all traces of frustration or annoyance vanish. Instead, he was just afraid.

“You don’t mean that.”

Your lower lip trembled, he saw tears glimmering in your eyes.

What had he done? What was he doing?

“Take that back. Andy, take that back…”

He remained silent, staring at you and rubbing at his shoulder and collarbone.

He was fucking up everything…

“I don’t know what’s wrong with you tonight, but I hope you’ll tell me once you’re calmer again,” you said in a cold voice, and he hated that tone.

And then you turned around, your hand on the doorknob.

You were leaving, you were leaving… because he couldn’t open his fucking mouth and be honest…

“Don’t… please, don’t leave.”

His voice was fragile now, and he hated it, he hated the weakness that transpired through it. You stopped your movements, turned to him, but your fingers remained on the doorknob.

“I just… I want you to stay,” he pleaded, but you raised an unimpressed eyebrow.

You crossed your arms before your chest. You were angry, but at least you weren’t about to open the door anymore…

“Really? Cause you don’t look like you want me around tonight.”

“I do. Please…”

“What’s happening? What’s wrong?”

“I just… I’m sorry… my head’s all over the place… I do want you to stay though. I really do.”

You heaved a sigh, took off your jacket again.

“Talk to me, then, okay? If you don’t want to tell me what’s bothering you, then… tell me about your day. Or anything… I just… I want to understand what’s in your head right now. And please, stop this, your skin is all red.”

He was surprised when you reached for his hand, stopped his nervous gesture, and rubbed soothing circles in the back of his hand.

“Why did you talk about Frank?”

Andrew looked down at his feet. You were still wearing your shoes.

“That…that was really hurtful.”

“I’m sorry…” he mumbled under his breath.

“Why would you say that? Did you mean that? Do you… do you want to get back with Sam?”

“What?! Of course not!”

“Why would you say something like that, then?!”

“Because I… I don’t…”

He heaved a frustrated sigh.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

Slowly, you nodded. He could see you were hurting though…

He was hurting you. He was hurting you… his silence was hurting you…

God, it was so painful to admit it all this out loud.

“I’m afraid.”

You gave his hand a reassuring squeeze, your expression softening.

“I’m afraid… about this. About you… leaving, and… I’m afraid you’re going to regret Frank. I’m afraid you’d choose him over me. And I’m… I’m afraid to go too fast, and to make you freak out. And I’m afraid because… I’m not changing for you, and that means I’m not giving you what you want, and…”

“Wait… what?”

“Sam… I was quiet with her, and I knew what parts of me she didn’t like, and so I tuned them down, but you’re… tonight you said you didn’t want me quiet, the way she wanted me, so… so what should I do? What should I do, so you can love me?”

He blinked tears away, and he hated it, he hated being so vulnerable before you, you could destroy him entirely with how much of his heart you owned and…

You reached up to gently stroke his cheek, and he was taken aback by your tender gesture.

“Andy… I don’t want you to change anything for me. I love you. Just as you are. I don’t want you to be quiet, I don’t want you to tune down any part of you. I just… want to be with you. That’s all. And I don’t regret Frank, not at all. I’m very happy with you.”

He blinked, trying to process your words.

“Really?”

“Yeah, really. And I… I would choose you over him. If I had to make that choice, I would choose you. I love you, not him. Not anymore.”

He brushed the tear that had begun rolling down his cheek, nodded.

He wasn’t sure he believed everything you were saying, and yet he knew you were earnest, that you weren’t lying.

“I’m sorry for tonight, I just… got really into my head, and just… I really doubted… everything, and… I’m sorry. Please, don’t leave, Y/N. I don’t want you to leave.”

“What do you want then? Earnestly. What do you want?”

“It’s embarrassing.”

“Why would it be? I’m your girlfriend, you can tell me anything.”

He forced the words out of his mouth, despite how vulnerable it made him feel.

“I… I really want you to hold me, right now.”

He let out a wry laugh.

“Christ, that’s pathetic…”

But before he could add another word, you were holding him in a tight embrace. All he could do was to hold you just as tightly.

“What about we go to bed, and cuddle?” you offered.

“Yeah… please…”

���Alright, I’ll get changed, okay?”

“Okay.”

You took off your shoes, picked up the pyjamas you had left in his drawer a couple of weeks ago, and disappeared in the bathroom. Then, Andrew got changed as well, and when he walked inside his bedroom again, you were already in his bed, waiting for him.

“Come here,” you invited him, opening your arms for him.

Slowly, like he couldn’t quite believe it, Andrew walked around the bed, lied down and nestled into your embrace, burying his face into your neck. For the first time that day, he let his body fully relax.

“You’re okay?” you asked, and he hummed in response.

“Yeah… much better. I’m sorry…”

“It’s okay. We can talk about it again tomorrow. Let’s just rest now.”

You turned off the lamp on your bedside table, and in your arms, Andrew was out like a light.

Andrew woke up to the smell of coffee.

You had closed the door of his bedroom when you got up, to let him rest a little longer. As classes were over for this year, you could allow yourselves to arrive later at work. As long as the job was done, no one cared when you arrived or left.

He checked the time, it was almost 8 am.

He forced his body to move, to get up, groaned as he stretched the sleeping muscles of his long back. He almost hit his head in the doorframe, forgetting for a second that he needed to bend to avoid it.

You were there alright, in your pyjamas, putting butter on toasts and talking to Elwood. Andrew’s heart melted at the sight.

You fitted so well in his life, in his home… this was obvious, you and him. Everything about it was obviously right, so why was he sabotaging himself?

You turned to him as you heard him enter the room, welcomed him with a smile. But it wasn’t as bright as your usual ones, and a lump crept up Andrew’s throat.

“Morning, babe,” you greeted him, voice soft.

“Morning, love.”

He wanted to reach out, to hold you close, to kiss you and apologise, but he was too afraid of messing up everything again…

“Slept well?” he asked instead. “Thanks for breakfast.”

“Yeah, I slept well.”

You poured him a coffee, stared at him as if gauging his reaction.

He heaved a sigh.

“I’m sorry about last night,” he let out in a whisper.

“It’s okay.”

“It’s not. It… it really is not. I’m sorry.”

“I just… I don’t really understand what happened.”

He started fidgeting, but he spoke anyway.

“I… like… I was stressed, and tired, and got stuck into my own head and… I think… I got really insecure.”

He heaved a frustrated sigh.

“I’m not… I’m not very good at talking about how I feel in those moments. I just… get stuck in my own ugly thoughts, and I fuck up everything.”

Slowly, you nodded.

“I see… is that okay if we talk about last night some more?”

“Sure… yeah…”

“Andy… Look, I’m sorry if I didn’t react well. Maybe I could have handled that situation better…”

“It wasn’t your fault, it was mine,” Andrew shook his head. “I told you, I got stuck in my head, and was a mess…”

“Maybe I’ve triggered this…”

“You didn’t. Really, Y/N… none of this is your fault. I’m sorry.”

“Last night… you said some things… we need to talk about them.”

“Do we?”

He averted his eyes, spinning his toast in his hand, without taking a bite.

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” you said in a weaker voice. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologise, it’s not your fault.”

He knew you were right. You needed to talk about last night. He needed to clear the air, make up for the stupid things he said.

The stupidest of all was easy to remember.

“I’m sorry I mentioned Frank. It was cruel, and uncalled for.”

“Why did you say that?”

He shrugged.

“I just… I don’t know.”

“It hurt.”

“I know. I’m sorry. Like… I’m scared, Y/N. I’m really scared you’re going to wake up soon and regret giving me a chance, and regret not fighting for him more and…”

“I’ll never regret you, Andy.”

He looked up at you again, let his heart bloom with hope.

“I… I don’t have everything figured out either when it comes to us,” you admitted. “Sometimes, I worry too… that you’re going to leave, that you’d rather be with Sam. But I need to believe that you’d choose me over her. And you have to believe me when I tell you that I would not hesitate for a second. I would choose you, Andy. Even if Frank came begging to get me back, I would not hesitate, and I would choose you. I don’t love him anymore, I love you.”

Slowly, he nodded.

“Do you believe me?”

He couldn’t lie to you, he simply couldn’t. He knew you were being vulnerable now, and he couldn’t answer with a lie, even if it meant to make things harder for you.

“I know you’re telling the truth,” he nodded. “But I… my brain just… like… I’m really struggling believing that’s the case.”

“Why? Don’t you trust me?”

“I do. Of course, I do. But I’m… I’m not used to having someone who loves me the way you do. And with how Sam left, I… I thought she was a safe place, and it turned out she wasn’t. It’s hard to come back from that.”

Slowly, you nodded.

“I understand.”

“It’s not that I believe you’re lying, or that you could hurt me on purpose. It’s more that… I feel like you’re going to wake up one day, and realise you’ve made the wrong choice, and you’re just going to leave…”

“The way Sam did.”

“Yeah…”

“I’m not her, Andy.”

“I know. And I’m not Frank. Could you love me the way you loved him?”

He was surprised when you smiled, and even more so when you got up and walked over to him. He pushed back his chair so you could stand between his parted legs, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“I don’t want things to be the way they were with Frank,” you answered, staring intensely into his eyes, and he lost himself in the shades of your gaze. “I want better than him. You are better than him. I want to love you better than Sam loved you, too. I want this to be better, Andy. I’m not going to love you the way I loved Frank. I’m going to be happier with you.”

His heart grew warm at your words, at the sincerity in your voice and eyes as you spoke them. He blinked tears away…

God, he was such a sap, these days… crying over everything…

“All I want is for you to be happy, Y/N,” he whispered.

“And I want you to be happy, too.”

“I’m happy with you.”

You held him close, he nuzzled his face into your chest, his forehead resting against your chin.

“I’m happy with you,” you confessed. “And Andy… last night… I meant what I said. I don’t want you to change. I want you. Okay? I want you to be yourself when you’re with me. I want to talk with you. I want to hear everything you have to say. And I… I don’t want you to be afraid when you’re with me. I love you. I want to be here, with you. I’m certain about this. This… us… it feels so right…”

He took a moment to let your words sink in. And perhaps he could learn to believe them. That you could love him fully, like that. Yeah… yeah, he could believe that, with a little bit of time…

“Loving you is… I feel like myself when you’re with me,” he admitted in a fragile whisper. “And it’s… it makes me happy. But I’m not quite used to that. I’m sorry, if it takes me some time to adjust.”

“I understand. You can take all the time you need. Just… just promise me you won’t use Frank and Sam against me ever again…”

“I won’t. I promise you, I won’t.”

“Okay… I promise I won’t either.”

“Thank you.”

You heaved a relieved sigh.

“We should get ready for work.”

“This is nice, though… give us five more minutes.”

You chuckled, making him smile.

And he thought back about his mother’s words, and he forced himself not to be so scared anymore.

“Baby?”

“Hmm?” you hummed, kissing his hair, holding him close to you.

“Would you like to come to my parents’ for dinner this weekend?”

He was surprised when you started laughing.

“So… we’re resolving our first real fight… and you directly jump to bringing me to your parents’?”

He couldn’t help but laugh too.

“Yeah… that’s a way to change the subject, I guess,” he joked, making you laugh again. “My mom asked for you to come, though.”

“Really?”

“Hmmm…”

“And you want me to come?”

“Yeah… but I’m worried I’m going too fast. I don’t mean to freak you out.”

“Who will be there?”

“My parents and my brother.”

“I’ve never met your brother.”

“No… but you’ve met my parents.”

“Yeah… and you have to warn your father, by the way… I will ask for our bet to be honoured. He lost. I was right about the rugby match we placed bets on. He owes me a beer.”

Andrew laughed.

“Alright… I’ll warn him. Do you want to come, then?”

“Of course, I want to come.”

“Is it not too soon?”

“No… it’s okay… I want to see them. And I want my free beer.”

You were laughing at your own joke, but he quickly shushed you with his lips.

Yes… perhaps, one day, he could believe that you loved him as much as he loved you…

[speaknow-sw]

okay, I’m sorry to all the people who read The Poet and the Rose but I didn’t realized I was going to write a long ass fic to end up threatened for it. My account is mainly smut and I understand that a lot of people felt like this was a big change in my blog.

Frankly, I’m a writer before a smut writer. I like to write smut alright but I didn’t started with smut. I started with poesy. So pls those anons who are flooding my inbox with mean comments and literal DEATH THREATS for changing my writing a bit I’m gonna kindly ask you to fuck off or I won’t write smut for you ever again. I’m sorry for the people who read it on Tumblr but I’m gonna move it to ao3 because like I said, I wasn’t planning to write a big ass fic like this. I got a whole plot set in mind and I don’t think it’ll do it with Tumblr freaks. I’ve already revised the first chapter and added and removed a scene or two. I’ll post it soon on ao3 under the same name as here : speaknow_sw (it’s underscore).

anyway this said, I’ll take back my normal schedule posting and I got some ideas brewing like a stripper Anakin, and maybe a little something on Will Beeman. I also have a yummy something on Don Piper 🫦

[ladykailitha]

King of the Day!

Hello and welcome to my Christmas AUvent Calendar! Every day from now until the 24th I will be posting a ficlet that is 500-1500 from an AU I've done over the years.

All stories will be marked with the tag #12 aus of christmas so you can follow along as I will only be tagging my permanent list for this (it would get too confusing otherwise).

The last one on our list is: Steve is Tattoo Artist verse. You can read the story here. All links will be to the first chapter, but the chapter itself will have links to the rest of the story.

The title comes from the European tradition of if the [insert object here] in the cake you were king for the day (I learned about it in my French three decades ago so if I got wrong sorry!).

Day 1 Day 2 Day 3 Day 4 Day 5 Day 6 Day 7 Day 8 Day 9 Day 10 Day 11

~

Steve was facing the dilemma of topping Eddie’s Christmas from last year. Where his band Corroded Coffin got their first gold record, which had gone platinum earlier this year. But if everything went right and Gareth didn’t forget his present to Eddie then he might just win.

But as it was right at that moment it was a disaster.

“What do you mean you lost my order?” Steve asked through gritted teeth. “I called confirmed it only yesterday and every week for the last three weeks!”

He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Are you sure you’re spelling ‘Buckley’ correctly? It’s B-U-C-K-L-E-Y. Yes with an E. Thank you!”

“No ma’am, I’m not saying that you’re dumb or anything of the sort,” he continued dryly. “I just wanted to make sure it was going to be here on time. It’s already out for delivery. Thank you!”

He set the receiver gently in its cradle and then picked it back up again. Once he heard the dial tone he slammed it several times for good measure.

“You do know that I’ve done this for the last five years,” Robin snarked from the entrance to tattoo shop, “as my job. I don’t know why you won’t let me do it for this.” She walked into the shop and leaned against the counter. “You’re just stressing yourself out over nothing.”

Steve laid his head on the desk with a sigh, letting the cool surface calm his rage. “I just wanted to make tonight special.”

She scooped up his hands in hers. “It will be special because he loves you. Now, let’s see it.”

He reached into his pocket and handed her a small red velvet box. She opened it and smiled fondly. It was perfect. It was white gold with ruby in the middle and framed by four black spinel gemstones, two large close to the ruby and two smaller stones on the outside.

Then she slipped it into her pocket. “I’ll just hold on to this for safe keeping. So what is the other thing you’re getting Eddie for Christmas? Because I know this is for after the gift giving.”

“Gareth is bringing it,” Steve said with a sigh. “Eddie is like a little kid looking for presents all the time and knows all my hiding spots.”

Robin laughed, because yeah. Steve’s boyfriend was like a kid when it came with presents, something Wayne had to warn him for when his birthday came up.

“I’ve been texting him nonstop reminding him to bring it,” he continued and then he handed her his phone. “Then he sent me this.”

It was a picture of Gareth in his car, a stack of presents in the passenger seat, and he’s giving the camera the middle finger. The caption read underneath, “I’ve got it! Quit your bitching!”

“Am I supposed to guess which one is yours to Eddie?” she asked rolling her eyes as she handed it back to him.

Steve rolled his eyes and jerk his head forward, holding his hands out like it was obvious. “Like the one wrapped differently then all the others?”

“Oh.”

~

The party was in full swing. Everyone was having fun, the booze was flowing, the food flying off the table and into happy mouths.

“I can’t believe you got me the entire new edition of the D&D manuals,” Eddie huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. “Like how am I supposed to compete with that?”

Steve kissed his cheek. “It’s not a competition, love. Despite what you and Gareth think.”

“Bah!” Eddie said. Then he got shy. “You did like your present, right?”

Steve tilted his to the side. Eddie had gotten him a custom apron that said, “King of this Castle” for him to wear while he was tattooing. “Of course I did. I loved it, baby. Chrissy is already trying to convince Robin and Vickie to get her and Argyle similar ones.”

Eddie shoved his hair in front of his face. “Yeah?”

Steve gently took the strand from him and tucked it behind his ear. “Yeah, sunshine. I promise.”

Robin gave him a pat on his shoulder as she passed by them.

It was time.

He took a deep breath and then grabbed his hand. “There’s one more present for you.”

Eddie cocked his head to the side and then his eyes went wide. “Oh!”

“Last year when I gave you my grandfather’s ring,” Steve said, cupping Eddie’s cheek, “I promised that I would get you a ring that was all your own.” He lifted his left hand. “There is only room for one more.” He tapped the ring finger.

“Stevie...” he breathed.

Suddenly he was aware that everyone was watching them as Steve got down on one knee.

“Would you do the honor of being my husband?” He pulled out the red velvet box Robin had slipped him when she passed.

Eddie held his hands mouth, too overjoyed to speak and nodded. Steve slipped the ring on his finger. It fit perfectly and perfectly fit the rest of Eddie’s rings as Steve intended.

“I love you.”

Eddie pulled him to his feet and kissed him senseless. “Merry Christmas, Stevie.”

A cheer went up as Steve blushed and pressed their foreheads together. “Merry Christmas, Eds.”

“Does this make me the royal consort?” Eddie asked with a grin.

Steve threw his head back and laughed. He loved this man so deeply. “Yeah, babe. You absolute drama queen!”

Everyone laughed.

~

Tag List: CLOSED

1- @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @zerokrox-blog @sadisticaltarts @dolphincliffs

2- @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @cryptid-system @kultiras

3- @maya-custodios-dionach @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog

4- @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @forgottenkanji @dreamercec @blondie1006

5- @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @genderless-spoon @fearieshadow @thesecondfate

6- @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman

7- @counting-dollars-counting-stars @tinyplanet95 @ravenfrog @swimmingbirdrunningrock @lingeringmirth

8- @gutterflower77 @a-lovely-craziness @just-a-tiny-void @w1ll0wtr33 @beelze-the-bubkiss

[dedicatednotobsessed]

Flames of Sapphire [Aemond Targaryen x Reader]

Series masterlist || Other HOTD stories

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Summary: Born in 110 AC as the youngest daughter to King Viserys I and Queen Alicent, you felt a strong bond with your older twin brother, Aemond. You always told each other you were bound in fire and blood, however the strings of fate had other plans for you…

Warnings in this chapter: None.

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Chapter I

110 AC- King’s Landing

A babe’s cry filled the halls of the Keep, Queen Alicent breathing heavily as she watched a wet nurse clean the small body before her hazel eyes went over to the Grand Maester holding onto her first babe. She had given birth to twins- a son and a daughter- but the son has yet to make his first cry.

The Queen’s eyes stung with tears as they laid the daughter in the bassinet, her cries quieting down soon after. “A-And my son?” Her voice was wavering as she spoke.

The Grand Maester took a deep breath. “Your Grace, his breathing is shallow, but-”

“Put him in the bassinet.”

“Your Grace…”

“P-Please.”

The older man sighed but did as he was told. The chambers were quiet momentarily before the son’s loud cries rang out, followed by the daughter’s. Tales called it the twin dragons’ roar, born of fire and blood.

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Ten years later

You winced, feeling the brush roughly go through your locks, grumbling while your mother went through your hair again. She had insisted on helping you prepare for the day of the arrival of Ser Lyonel’s daughter and her twelve-year-old son. You could not fully understand why she was in such a fuss.

“Mother, you’re hurting me,” you whined, having endured the pain long enough.

“Oh, hush,” Alicent scolded, setting the brush down.

“Aegon said Florynce Strong’s son looks like a troll,” you muttered.

“Y/N!” Alicent gasped. 

“Well, Aegon is the one that looks like a troll,” your eldest sister, Madelyne* piped up, walking over with a pair of earrings.

“That is enough, girls,” Alicent said before sighing softly. “I hope you do not act this way in front of Florynce Strong and her son. I am sure they are tired from their journey and wish to settle in.”

Madelyne bent down next to you, smiling when you looked at her. You admired both your elder sisters, Helaena for her kindness and Madelyne for her strength. Each was as beautiful as the other. However, you envied your eldest sister at times. At ten and four, she was the only one allowed to ride her dragon, a she-dragon with glimmering deep blue scales known as Saphira, which she had claimed two years prior.

“We should not be the ones you need to scold to behave, Mother,” Madelyne stated, her brows scrunching in concentration as she placed the first earring in your right ear before moving onto your left.

“You should be worried about Aegon calling the Strong boy a troll,” you added, taking Maddy’s hand when she offered it.

Alicent let out a deep sigh, placing her head in her hands. “Gods save me,” she grumbled before rubbing her face. “Come, my sweets. Your father and siblings will be waiting for us.”

You looked up at your mother with big eyes before you released Madelyne’s. In exchange for hers, Florynce Strong came down from Harrenhal with her only child, Evin*. Your mother explained it was so they could visit with the Hand of the King, but a part of you believed it was something more, seeing as Madelyne will begin her courting party soon.

As expected, your father was gathered in the courtyard with Ser Lyonel on the right and your other siblings on the left; Aegon with a bored expression on his features, Helaena with a bright and beaming smile, the smallest- Daeron- had a mix of confusion and boredom. Then there was your twin brother, Aemond. 

Aemond was petite with wavy silver hair to his shoulders, his deep purple eyes standing out against his pale complexion. You often teased him for his constant scowling, especially when he was around your nephews- the three Strong bastards of your half-sister, Rhaenyra, who seemed to be the only one missing from the welcome party.

You let go of your Mother’s hand to fall into line beside your twin, looking up at him with a cheeky smile. “You can at least put on an act,” you whispered, nudging him lightly. 

“Why would I act happy for a Strong coming to the capital?” 

“Perhaps he will become your new friend.” You hummed and stifled a laugh at the glare he shot your way. “Only a thought, Aemond.”

Aemond scoffed at the thought of being friends with someone of Strong blood as the carriage pulled up. You straightened your back, reaching over to take Aemond’s hand, feeling him intertwine your fingers and give you a gentle, reassuring squeeze when the carriage stopped before the awaiting party.

A slender woman was the first to climb out, her dark curls bouncing lightly as she turned to face the welcoming party, a soft smile on her features. A pale, scrawny boy followed out a moment later, dark curls to match his mother’s flopping in his face.

“My sweet Florynce.” The Lord Hand was the first to speak up, stepping out of line to hug his daughter. 

Your eyes looked over the Strong boy, and your expression was neutral. The deep blue color of his doublet matched his eyes, and he returned your gaze. He stood nervously, like a deer eyeing its killer.

“I don’t see how he looks like a troll,” you told Aemond with scrunched brows, your voice not quiet.

Aegon choked on a laugh, your mother giving you a stern look as she walked towards Lady Strong and her son, holding onto your father’s arm. “Welcome to the capital, Lady Florynce. I hope you do enjoy your stay.” Queen Alicent’s voice was as sweet as honey to hide the truth her tongue holds.

“It is good to be with my family once more. Harrenhal does get quite lonely occasionally.” Florynce smiled softly. 

“And my sons would make your son feel welcome.” There was a slightly stern tone to her voice, as though she was talking directly to her elder two sons. 

Florynce’s smile widened. “I am sure Evin would love that. He doesn’t have many friends back home,” she said, turning to her son, who was still on the children, fear in his eyes. 

You followed his gaze to see Aemond with a stern glare on his face. You squeezed his hand tight and offered him a soft smile when he looked at you.

“Well, let us get you settled in. There will be a welcoming feast tonight!” Viserys announced, him and the Queen being the first to walk back into the castle.

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One thing about your father was that he spared no expense regarding feasts, wanting to ensure everyone enjoyed themselves. You had a soft smile on your lips, watching Madelyne and Helaena dance together. It has been a while since you’ve seen your eldest sister happy; it made your heart swell. Your eyes turned to your twin, and a small smile filled your features.

“I don’t think you’ve stopped scowling since Evin arrived,” you whispered to him. 

Aemond scoffed. “I don’t see why we should have a welcome feast for them.”

You clicked your tongue lightly. “Father enjoys an excuse for a feast, and you know he wants to impress the lords here for Madelyne’s courting party.”

“But it doesn’t answer why he is here,” he spat.

Your eyes went to the curly-haired boy slumped over his plate, his hair draped over his eyes. A hum passed your lips as you examined him. Aemond had a point, though. Evin was considerably a couple of years younger than Madelyne, and her courting party was full.

“Perhaps he needs a friend,” you replied quietly after a moment.

Aemond made a face at that. “Well, he’s not going to find one here.”

You met your twin’s eyes, the same deep lilac color as yours. His irises held a bright burning flame of anger and rage, as though the thought of being friends with a Strong was enough to send him over the edge. You smoothed out the skirts of your deep blue dress while pushing your chair back, standing up. 

“Don’t be so cruel,” you scolded him before descending the steps.

You could feel Aemond’s gaze on your movements as you approached Evin, tapping him on the shoulder. You offered him a soft smile when he turned to face you. 

“I was wondering if you would like to dance with me.”

Evin looked down at your extended hand, stumbling over his words. You waited a moment longer before taking his hand and forcing him to the dance floor. He looked down at you wide-eyed, still searching for the right words.

“Y-you look lovely, princess.” His voice was soft as he looked over your features, his fingers intertwining with yours, his other hand going to your waist.

Your smile widened while he began to take you around, your dress fanning around you. “How long does your mother plan on being in the capital?”

Evin’s throat bobbed. “For as long as she wants, I suppose. It has been a few years now since she’s been here.”

You nodded in understanding. “Will you be joining my sister’s courting party?”

“Sadly, her party was full, but my mother still wanted me to accompany her to the capital. She believed I could try to become friends with the princes…although one has already decided about me.”

His gaze went over your shoulder, and you turned to see Aemond slightly slouching in his chair with a death glare on Evin. A snicker passed your lips, your attention moving back to the boy, moving with him in a circle.

“Don’t let Aemond scare you,” you whispered in the boy’s ear. “He only tries to be intimidating, but he is sweet.” Your eyes flickered past him to meet Aemond’s cold stare. “Perhaps he will warm up to you.”

You turned your gaze back to Evin, taking in his appearance. His eyes no longer held fear as they shined as bright as sapphires; his pale complexion was now a rosy red, his smile small. You didn’t realize the music came to a stop, your hand still in his while the band prepared for the next song.

“Thank you for this dance, princess, but I don’t want to anger your brother any more than I already have.”

You felt your heart quicken as Evin leaned down, kissing the back of your hand before returning to his seat. The heat rose to your cheeks while you returned to your seat, not realizing the look Aemond was giving you. 

“What was that?” He snapped, his eyes narrowed. 

“I was making a friend.”

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“I saw you dancing with Lord Mooton’s son,” Helaena teased your elder sister, causing Madelyne to roll her eyes. The three of you were winding down from a night of festivities and dancing in Madelyne’s chambers.

“It was only because William would not leave me alone.” Maddy scoffed. The distaste on her face quickly changed to a smirk, her attention turning to you. “Don’t think we didn’t notice you dancing with Evin.”

You felt your cheeks heat up, and you shook your head, looking down at the pillow you had hugged to your chest. “It meant nothing. I only wanted to help him feel welcome.”

Helaena hummed, her fingers beginning to thread through Madelyne’s hair. “Three buds will bloom; while two intertwine and become one, the third will wither away.”

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*Madelyne Targaryen: This story is based off of my own House of the Dragon OC (Adryana Targaryen) and it is intertwined with my bestie’s OC, Madelyne. With permission from @mrsdaemontargaryen I included her in this story. 💚

*Evin Strong: Evin is another original character created by me and my bestie. In Fire and Blood, Ser Lyonel Strong had two unnamed trueborn daughters who came to the capital with him in 105 AC. Evin has the surname Strong because his father died when he was a babe and Lyonel gave him his surname in place.

[naughtyneganjdm]

Threads of Desire: A Christmas to Remember - Chapter 4

Summary: After her night with Daryl, Y/N goes into work and discovers that Negan is already there waiting for her, desperate for a conversation. Multiple events lead to the two of them growing closer with Negan starting to realize he was blind to things in the past and it makes him feel guilty.

Characters: Negan Smith, the reader (OC), Maggie Greene, etc.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/61111030/chapters/157485796

Warnings: Swearing, Cheating, Angst, Smut, Heavy Touching, A moment of non-con, etc.

Notes: I edited this at 2 in the morning. I'm sure I could have done a better job, but it's the best I have for now. In this chapter, there is some non-con in this chapter that could be uncomfortable for some reading. I want to put it out there beforehand.

Waking up this morning was hard. First, it was the hangover. The gnawing, aching migraine that felt miserable. Even opening her eyes was incredibly hard because the light that was filtering into the apartment increased the ache she was feeling. That was the alcohol hitting her back. Then it was the fact she didn’t have an alarm set. So by the time she woke up at Daryl’s place, she had no idea where she was or when it was. It took a while for her to gather herself. And surprisingly? She didn’t give a fuck when she woke up this morning. That wasn’t like her at all. Maybe after last night she decided to say fuck the world and do her own thing because at that moment? Nothing mattered to her.

At some point during the night she had fallen asleep only to wake up with Daryl laying face first into the pillows with his arm loosely hooked around her waist. Being in that position only reminded her how much Daryl actually wanted more out of their friendship. And that’s why she thought sleeping with him was wrong in the first place. But that didn’t stop her. Which really made her feel bad the longer she thought about it.

Daryl was always incredibly shy. It took a lot for her to even get him to say more than a sentence or two when they were hanging out together when they first started spending time together. And originally she had just thought they were friends. When Maggie and Negan slept together and she walked in on it? She was devastated. And she went to Daryl who said the most amazing things to her. They were both drunk and they fell into one another. Daryl had always commented that she should have fell in love with him instead of Negan, but she always thought he was joking at first. But it didn’t take long for her to realize that Daryl did in fact have feelings for her. The only bad thing is that her feelings for Negan had always clouded those that she had for Daryl. The crush on Negan came first. Part of her had wished she met Daryl first because then she wouldn’t have such conflicting feelings about everything.

Getting out of the bed wasn’t that hard. Daryl was a heavy sleeper. So that meant that he wouldn’t wake up when she left. It took her longer to get ready and before she left, she wrote him a note. Running away without saying some kind of goodbye after having sex last night was an absolute no-no in her book. Putting the note on the pillow she slept on last night, she knew that she needed to head out. Even though she would have rather stayed with Daryl to hang out for the rest of the day instead. Being late today was one thing, but if she was exceedingly late she knew she’d never hear the end of it.

But the biggest problem? She didn’t have any clothes at Daryl’s. She had the clothes Daryl gave her and the dress she wore to the event. That meant she had to run to the store to get something nice enough to wear to work.

But because of her being late? That meant no coffee shop stop to pick up Maggie’s favorite drink. It was her having to run straight to work to get done what she needed to. Which was prepare Maggie for her meeting. Check the e-mails. See if there were any messages. Daily chores that Maggie had for her before Maggie even got to work. Then again? She even questioned if she would have gotten Maggie that stupid drink in the first place. From here on out, she really didn’t feel like running to that coffee shop every morning. What was the point in going above and beyond for someone that wasn’t even her friend and made that evidently clear? There was none.

Getting to work, she wished one of the stops she would have made was at a store to pick up some Tylenol. The headache that she had only grew worse with this cold weather and not having something all day was going to suck. There was no questioning that Maggie was going to be furious with her today. Especially since she didn’t go out of her way to get that drink and she showed up a few hours later than she normally did. Maggie would see that as her being rebellious after what she discovered. And she could only picture what she was in for today.

Last night after they had slept together, Daryl had extensively attempted to get Y/N to reconsider her decision about staying at the company. Daryl wanted her to quit. Listing off all the reasons she didn’t need to be there. And while she appreciated the idea of Daryl letting her live in his apartment for a while, she didn’t want to be a loser. Anything she did, she wanted to do on her own. Which meant keeping her head down and doing what she could here until she could find another job. Daryl promised her safety and assured her she would have a place to stay, but that was a last resort for her. If nothing else worked, moving in with Daryl didn’t seem so bad. It was nice that she had someone who promised that they wouldn’t let anything happen to her. There was just one thing that Daryl couldn’t keep safe. And that was her relationship with Negan’s daughter, Jordyn. Nothing was more important to her than Jordyn. So she didn’t want to piss Maggie off that bad.  

That didn’t mean she forgot everything that happened or the things that she learned. Last night confirmed a lot of things for her. And that would change their friendship moving forward. Because now? She knew that their whole friendship was a sham. It was fake. A steppingstone for Maggie to feel better about herself. So that was something Y/N was going to have to live with too.

Waiting for the elevator today was twice as annoying as normal. Instead of pushing herself in with the large group of people waiting to get up, she just stood in the back until she could get a less busy one. But even the sound of the elevator was increasing the tension in her head. And it made her groan out. Pinching the bridge of her nose, she wished she would have just stayed at Daryl’s. This was stupid. She could have maybe gotten away with one day off from work with Maggie. Made Maggie panic a bit. Because her head was throbbing.

Waiting for everyone to get off the elevator, she was the last to leave. Dragging her feet along, she didn’t lift her head until she almost reached the office. But when she did? She felt her chest aching at the sight. Standing up from the couch in the office once he saw her near was Negan.

“Shit,” she muttered under her breath noticing the way that his hazel eyes were locked on her already. It was too fucking early for this and she already felt terrible. With how quickly she rushed out this morning, she could only imagine how awful she must have looked. But him? He looked good. He always looked good. His hair was slicked back and he was wearing a pair of his black, thick framed glasses.

Pausing for a moment as she reached out for the door to the office, she wondered what she would even say. The last thing she wanted to do was talk to him right now. After the mess of things she made last night and what she learned with Maggie cheating, she didn’t even want to see Negan for a long time. It would have been nice if there was someone that could have helped her get Negan out of that office, but she knew that everyone else was busy. And no one would do her any favors.

Lifting her head again she realized that there was a drink carrier with coffees on Maggie’s desk and it made her scoff. Assuming those were for Maggie had her rolling her eyes. Well, today would be like every other day.

“Keep your head down, say nothing,” she coached herself, so badly wanting this whole thing to be over with. If she could have gone back and erased everything she said from Negan’s mind, she wished she could have. Then again? She wished she could have erased what she had seen happen between Guy and Maggie too. That would have made seeing Negan much easier today. Pushing forward, she headed into the office. Opening the door, she stepped inside and it had Negan stepping forward. Shoving his hands into his pockets, it looked like Negan wanted to say something but the color drained from his face. “Morning.”

“Good morning,” he repeated back what she had said, his hazel eyes following her movements when she set the presentation drawings down in the corner of the room on Maggie’s drawing table. Right now? She was avoiding Negan at all costs, moving around the office like he wasn’t even there. Heading over to the desk, she sat down in the chair and saw out of the corner of her eye that Negan was approaching it. “If you’re waiting for Maggie, she’s going to be a little while longer.”

“I’m not waiting for Maggie,” Negan grunted, his brow line creasing when he got to the area beside her. Sitting on the corner of the desk, his eyes were locked on her and he shrugged. “I’m here for you. I went to your apartment this morning, but you weren’t there. So I came here.”

Pausing after logging into Maggie’s computer, she pushed the chair back and her eyes connected with Negan. Leaning back, Negan grabbed the drink that he had gotten for her. Holding it out for her, Negan teased it just beneath her nose, “I got you your favorite. Well, what I think your favorite still is after this long. I got you what your favorite was when the two of us were spending a lot of time together.”

Thinking things over, the realization started to set in. Exhaustion was still eating away at her. Accepting the latte that Negan had gotten for her, she took a sip of it. Giving a nod, she set it beside her and cleared her throat uneasily, “It’s still my favorite.”

“Good,” Negan seemed proud, reaching for the coffee that he had gotten himself. “It means my memory isn’t as shit as I thought it was.”

“Why are you here?” she wondered, clutching tightly to the coffee cup that Negan had gotten for her. “And why would you even bother going to my apartment this morning? Last night was a mess. One we need to forget and just pretend didn’t happen.”

“Because you wouldn’t answer your phone or any of your texts,” Negan explained, shrugging his shoulders, a frown tugging at his handsome features. “How else am I gonna get you to talk to me? This was the only place I knew you would be.”

“I have a lot of work to do Negan,” she stressed to him, going back to look through the e-mails that were on the computer. “If I don’t get through all of these, Maggie is going to be really upset with me. She’s going to want me to have these finished by the time she gets here. Plus I have to prepare her things for her meeting today. Usually I get here much earlier than this, but I slept in this morning and…”

“I think you needed to sleep in this morning,” Negan suggested, tipping his head to the side before taking a sip of his coffee. “Hopefully you got a lot of sleep last night after you ran off on me and scared the shit out of me when you wouldn’t answer your phone. A drunk girl running through the streets of New York so late at night isn’t the best of ideas.”

Thinking about how last night went, she licked her lips and shifted in Maggie’s chair uncomfortably, “I’m a big girl Negan, I can take care of myself. And as for sleep? Not as much sleep as I would have wished to have gotten.”

Elaborating was not part of the plan there.

Pushing his way between her and the computer, Negan made it so she wouldn’t be able to go through the e-mails that she did every morning. Huffing out, she snatched her coffee from the desk again and held onto it. Negan’s eyes were staring down at her and she felt like a child in that moment.

“I think Maggie will cope if you don’t do exactly what she should be doing every morning, not you,” Negan suggested, his jaw flexing when he made it clear that he wasn’t about to let her get to her work. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m not leaving. I’m here to talk to you and I’m not leaving you alone until we talk today.”

“Negan, there is nothing to say,” she frowned, forcing herself to look away from his hazel eyes. So badly she wanted to tell him everything, but she knew what the outcome would be if she did. Nothing but trouble for her and she couldn’t cause tension that would keep her away from Jordyn. “I was overly emotional last night and I let things get to me. Usually I’m good at keeping my mouth shut. Last night, I wasn’t. Trust me, it’s not going to happen again, so you don’t have to worry.”

“But I’m already worried,” Negan slurred, clicking his tongue against the top of his mouth. “You can’t tell me not to fucking worry when I’m already worried. It’s there. It isn’t leaving me. So fuck the whole don’t worry thing. What I saw and heard yesterday? That’s not something I’m used to. At all. So, I’m pretty fucking worried.”

“You have your own family to worry about,” she reminded him, still having a hard time looking at Negan. Both from what she did in front of him and what she knew about Maggie. “I appreciate that you care enough about me to come and check in on me, but I don’t matter at the end of the day. Especially when it comes to your life.”

“You matter very much to me,” Negan stammered, his raspy voice growing more concerned with the way she was talking about things. “I don’t want you to end up in a place like I was when you had to help me through things. That’s a place I never want to end up back in, but more than anything that’s a place I never want to see someone that I care about end up. It’s a fucked up place.”

“I don’t have time to end up in a place like that,” she assured Negan, taking another sip of the latte that he had gotten for her. Lifting her eyes, she stared up at him. There was genuine concern in his expression and she didn’t even know why. “If I had time to sit to myself and think about all the woes in my life, then yeah. I might end up in a place like that. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately in this case, my job doesn’t allow me the time for that. Is my life miserable? Yeah. Do I hate my job? Yes. I do. Do I think things that I want to so desperately say but then end up not saying them? Yes. But that’s life. We all have to go through things we don’t want to.”

“And I’d like you to talk to me about those things,” Negan explained, sucking at his bottom lip after she rolled her eyes. “Come on, this isn’t like you. The two of us are close and you are trying to push me away so hard.”

Feeling her phone buzzing, she reached for it to take a quick look to see that Daryl had texted her something.

Be fierce today. You’ve got this.

It made her smile that he sent her that. Especially after everything she had gone through.

“For good reasons,” she pushed her seat forward toward the computer tapping at Negan’s hip in attempts to get him to move. “Maggie is going to kill me if her e-mails aren’t checked and finished by the time that she gets here.”

“I want you to take a day off,” Negan announced, curling his fingers firmly around her wrist to give it a firm squeeze. “My mom has Jordyn out for a grandma fun day. So come on. Be a rebel and spend the day with me. Like we used to. We’ll walk around. Maybe go to the Bryant Park Christmas Village. Go to lunch. Find things to do. And then you can come over tonight. Jordyn will be happy to have you there. We’ll play video games, I’ll make you a really nice dinner. We can watch Christmas movies together. Have hot chocolate by the fire. If you’re lucky, I’ll even put those tiny marshmallows in yours.”

“While that sounds amazing Negan, I can’t do that anymore,” she noticed that he wasn’t letting go of her wrist. Setting down her latte, her free hand covered his. A frown tugged at his features with her turning him down. “I have a job. One where it doesn’t allow me to be able to do something like that. I would love to take off with you and spend all day with you. But I’m not that girl that can just drop everything for you anymore. I have bills to pay. Or I lose everything.”

“I think Maggie will understand. She wouldn’t want you being this upset,” Negan thought aloud, but that made Y/N smile and shake her head. “Maggie is your friend and if she knew how you were feeling, I’m sure that she would support what I’m trying to suggest here. No one would want you to be suffering like this.”

“I don’t think that’s at all what Maggie would think,” she stressed to Negan, hooking her fingers with his. Getting him to lower his hand, she nodded toward the computer again. Hinting to him that this was a must that she had to get done.

Sliding over, it was only a moment before the sound of the door being pushed open was heard. Both of them looked to the door to see what appeared to be an overwhelmed Maggie carrying multiple things in her arms. Big glasses covered her eyes and she looked infuriated.

“Shit,” Y/N breathed under her breath. She’d gotten nothing done. The only thing she had done was make sure to bring the presentation that was needed today. Today, she was going to be in for it. And by the time that Maggie finally realized that Negan was sitting there with Y/N? Maggie looked like she could absolutely die right there on the spot.

“Morning,” Negan waved, his eyes following Maggie’s movements when she dropped everything down on the couch. Tugging her sunglasses from her face, Maggie looked between Y/N and Negan. Maggie looked like she could have fainted right then and there. Right now? Y/N was certain that Maggie thought she was telling Negan all about what she had learned the night before.

“Morning,” Maggie slurred her words, letting them linger when she stepped closer to the desk. Lowering down had Negan meeting her halfway in a quick kiss. With Negan kissing her back, Maggie could tell that they were still okay and it seemed like a large amount of weight was lifted from her shoulders. “What are you doing here honey?”

“Well,” Negan paused to consider what he was going to say. Looking back to Y/N, his Adam’s apple bounced in his throat and he shrugged. “Truthfully? Y/N and I were having a conversation last night. Then she remembered something she had to do and hopped out of my car. So I came here this morning to check in on her. And I was hoping to finish that conversation.”

“What about?” Maggie acted like she wasn’t all that interested, her green eyes hooking with Y/N’s. Shaking her head, Y/N let her know the best way that she could that she didn’t tell Negan about what she walked in on last night with Maggie and Guy. Forcing herself to look away from Y/N, Maggie didn’t want it to be clear that they were communicating without really saying anything.

“It’s kind of between the two of us,” Negan alerted Maggie getting an offended breath from Maggie. Hearing that surprised Y/N. Having Negan tell Maggie that she wasn’t allowed to know what they talked about? Well that was shocking. “It was just a conversation between two friends. I’m sorry Mags, but sometimes I think things should stay personal between two people. If she’s comfortable enough to talk to you about things in the future, then that’s on her. But right now? It’s between us.”

“Now I’m suddenly curious,” Maggie looked to Y/N who dramatically shrugged at Negan’s response. Thankfully Negan didn’t mouth vomit everything. Because that would have been bad for her in the end anyways. “Neither one of you keep things from me.”

Both Negan and Y/N laughed immediately at that comment eliciting a frustrated grunt from Maggie, “I guess I trusted you both more than I thought?”

“There are some things you just don’t need to know,” Y/N stressed to Maggie since Maggie had pretty much made her life miserable over the last four plus years. Keeping her personal life from Maggie just seemed like a good idea. While she wished it wasn’t the case, if Maggie knew about some things in her life she was certain that Maggie would ruin them. Just like she did with Negan and this job. “Do you tell me everything?”

“For the most part…” Maggie started, but the glare that Y/N gave her was obviously directed at what they had talked about the night before. “No, I guess you’re right. There are some things that need to be kept to ourselves.”

“Exactly,” Negan snapped his fingers, a big cheesy smile tugging at his handsome features. “I was actually hoping that you would give Y/N a break today and let her take today off so we could go on an adventure.”

“We?” Maggie repeated what she heard nervously, color flooding into her cheeks. “And by we…you mean?”

“Oh, just the two of us,” Negan wiggled his finger between him and Y/N. Hearing that had Maggie in a panic. And it was plastered all over her face. There was a sense of pride from that for Y/N. “I started to think about it, I considered Y/N to be my best friend before I started dating you. Then we got together and I just started to spend all my extra time with you. That’s not really fair to my friend, y’know? I went from really spending every extra moment I had with her, to spending it all with you. I thought it would be cool to do something with her today. Like old times. Y/N does so much for me helping out with Jordyn. I thought it would be nice to give her a day out.”

“I see,” Maggie’s eyes locked with Y/N and, in that moment, Y/N knew that Maggie was furious with the idea that Negan had come up with. “While that sounds nice, and I’m sure she’d love to do that with you, she actually is going to be very busy today.”

“I’m sure you could survive one day without her,” Negan stood up from the desk, walking around it. Locking eyes with Maggie, he was almost pleading with her to let Y/N go with him. “I’m sure you could handle your messages, e-mails and what not for the rest of the day.”

“You didn’t finish the e-mails and messages?” Maggie looked beyond Negan with Y/N lowering her head down to her hand to bury it there. Oh, today was going to be fun. Snapping his fingers again, Negan got Maggie’s attention and had her huffing out. “It’s not just that Negan. You see…”

“Have you told her yet?” a booming voice caused all of them to jump with the door being thrown open. Getting everyone’s attention, Guy took his sunglasses off hooking them to his silky white shirt. Once again, Guy was dressed very fashionably. To add to the white shirt was a pair of white slacks and white loafers. His dark hair was groomed nicely, a small amount of stubble over his face and his brown eyes were locked with Y/N’s. “Why does it look like nothing has been done yet?”

“I haven’t had the time to tell her,” Maggie stammered, searching for the right words. Nervousness flooded Y/N’s veins when Guy moved around the desk toward her. “I was thinking, I’m not really sure that it’s the best idea Guy because…”

“Blasphemy. Anyone who walks through a snowstorm in the middle of the night to assure that your work is here bright and early deserves a chance to experience what it’s like to be in the middle of everything,” Guy hushed Maggie, reaching for Y/N to get her to stand up and step before him. “What you’re wearing is cute, but it’s not going to work for today. I’ve already called a place down the street. They work with me, get me some things last minute. I assumed your size and requested a dress from them. I’m going to need you to go grab it, put it on and rush back here. They are going to have you try it on there in case it doesn’t fit. They’ll have you pick out some shoes to go with it. Help you through the process. And if you want to, grab some jewelry that will go nice with it. I’ll pay for everything.”

“I uh…I’m sorry. But what?” Y/N felt flustered with how quickly Guy was talking along with the way that he spun her around to get a look at her. Warmth was flooding into her face wondering what the hell was going on. “Why?”

“I’m going to have you join us in the meeting today. I just want to see you wearing something more…Vixen?” Guy stressed, waving his hand about while lowering his other hand that was still holding onto hers. “Maggie and I had a conversation about you. Being here for as long as you have been, I’d like to see what you are capable of.”

“I’m just a personal assistant,” she was flustered, but caught the expression that Negan was giving her when she looked beyond Guy’s shoulder. Throwing his thumbs up in the air, Negan gave a dramatic nod. Pointing to his mouth, he gave her a cheesy smile as if to suggest she should smile. Noticing the way that Y/N was looking over his shoulder, Guy looked back and it had Negan swiftly covering his mouth. It looked ridiculous with Negan forcing himself to look somewhere else while using his free hand to stroke down over his jaw. Smirking, Guy had obviously caught onto the fact that Negan was gesturing her to do something but decided not to say anything.

“Are you?” Guy stammered, his dark eyes narrowing when he gave his attention back to Y/N. And really? She didn’t know how to answer that. Obviously she did more than be Maggie’s personal assistant, but her job title was pretty much that alone. How would Guy know now of all times that she did more for Maggie than she should have. Out of frustration, it looked like Maggie tried to focus elsewhere when she moved around the desk to sit down at her computer. “Give me your cell phone.”

“Why?” she wasn’t sure what was happening, but when she dug into her pocket, Guy was quick to snatch it from her. Attempting to open it, Guy huffed and held it out for her so that she could open it for him. Going into her contacts, Guy was quick to put his number in that section. After, he sent himself a text so that way he would have her phone number too. During this whole thing, he kept motioning her to weight, holding up his index finger every so often since she was visibly uncomfortable with him holding her phone. Handing back her cell phone, Guy reached for his and sent her a text that appeared to be an address. “Something tells me that you will surprise me. So head down the street and get the dress I picked out for you. You know what time the meeting is.”

Yelping, she felt Guy pushing her toward the door followed by him smacking firmly at her ass. That wasn’t something she would really let anyone else get away with. But no one else said something, so she just assumed that she would keep her mouth shut in this moment. Grabbing her latte, she moved for her jacket with Guy watching her closely. Waving his hands to motion her to move faster, Guy sat on the corner of Maggie’s desk. By the expression on Maggie’s face? She was furious.

“I’m going to walk with her,” Negan explained moving around Guy to grab his coffee before moving to the couch to pick up his jacket that he had taken off when he got here. Working it up his arms, Negan pointed toward Y/N who was already headed out the door. It looked like Maggie was about to complain, but with Guy there she simply nodded her head and went back to work. Fuck, she was already nervous enough, the last thing Y/N needed right now was having Negan following her. “Hey! Fucking wait for me.”

“Where can I go? You know the elevator takes forever and it’s not like I’ll be able to sneak away before you get to me,” she pointed toward the closed elevator doors, getting a frustrated glance from Negan as he approached. Hitting the down button a few more times, she knew it would do nothing, but there was the hope that she could get this all over with quickly. “I don’t know why you want to follow me. It’s not like I’m going to be able to open up to you about things on our walk over. I’m nervous enough as it is.”

“You shouldn’t be nervous, this is a good thing,” Negan hushed her, adjusting his jacket so that he had it on properly when he stepped in beside her. “You wanted more with this company and it looks like Guy wants to allow you have the opportunity for that.”

“But I’m wondering why,” she frowned, knowing that she couldn’t open up to Negan about what she knew. There were a few reasons that she figured Guy was doing this. One, he wanted her to keep her mouth shut about what she saw with him and Maggie. Two, he wanted to have sex with her because he really seemed to be stressing that idea last night in Maggie’s apartment. Or three, he was going to test her and if she didn’t prove herself to him, he’d fire her. So either way, none of the options were great. Especially since she knew that he wasn’t doing this all of a sudden because he recognized her talents. Where Negan saw this as something good, she saw it as something complicated and worrisome. Being on Guy Vixen’s radar after last night didn’t seem like the best thing in the world.

“Does it matter?” Negan really didn’t understand why she was acting upset about this whole thing. “We were just talking about things last night. How you wanted more. How you didn’t want to be just a personal assistant anymore. This is a good thing. Maybe Maggie and Guy talked about you and how talented you were.”

“I don’t think they talked about me and my talents last night,” she hushed Negan, holding her hand up because she knew what they were doing last night. Talking about her work was not one of those things.

“Why aren’t you happier about this?” Negan pushed, giving her arm a supportive squeeze. “You should be happy here. This is what you wanted. To feel seen. And now you’re being seen. Which is a good thing.”

“I’m not sure I’m happy with the way that I’m getting it,” she muttered, looking back over her shoulder to see through the glass panel walls that Guy and Maggie seemed to be bickering. Without meaning to, Y/N caught Guy’s attention when he realized that she was staring. Flashing her a smile and winking at her, Guy held up his hand to wave. It had a breath catching in her throat when she realized he was being flirty with her. “Truthfully? I think he wants to have sex with me.”

“He wants to…” Negan paused, looking back over his shoulder at the office just in time to see Guy waving at Y/N. Returning the gesture, Y/N waved and then turned on her heel to face the elevator again. Catching himself staring at Guy, Negan felt his face growing hot. “Isn’t he gay?”

“Apparently he’s pansexual,” she repeated what she had heard the night before from Maggie, clearing her throat uneasily. At least she wasn’t the only person to assume that Guy was gay. “That’s why I’m not so sure I deserve this or want this.”

Negan was still staring at Guy by the time the elevator opened. Realizing that it was near closing, Negan stumbled in and cussed to himself, “I doubt that’s the case. You heard him. He was impressed with you walking through a snowstorm to make sure that the work was done. Which…” Negan paused, his thick eyebrows furrowing. “How did he know that you did that?”

Well shit. There he was using his brain in that moment, “Oh,” she paused. Not she needed to think of something good that was honest without lying. Because Negan could always pick up on her lying for the most part. “When I got to Maggie’s apartment last night, she was there. I think Guy had walked her up to her apartment and they were still talking about…things.”

“So Maggie was home?” Negan confirmed leaving her wishing this elevator was a whole lot faster than it was. Everything inside of her was tense and it was so fucking hard even looking at Negan. “I tried calling her last night and she didn’t answer.”

“She was probably angry. The two of us were bickering,” she was quick to respond, but that also wasn’t a lie. Swaying too far from the truth with Negan would be too hard so she was going to be as honest as she could while leaving some details out. “You called her when she was likely distracted and pissed off. You know how I was last night Negan. I was drunk and not in the best of moods. No one would know that better than you.”

“Bickering? The two of you were fighting?” Negan gathered, his head tipping to the side with his right eyebrow arching in curiosity. “In front of Guy?”

“Yeah, kind of. I guess. He wasn’t really in the room we were in when we were having a heated discussion,” she thought back on last night knowing that Guy was mostly in Maggie’s bedroom when they were fighting it out with one another. After all these years being close to Negan, it was hard not just coming out and telling him the truth. In her opinion? He deserved to know everything. But with the threats she was given by Maggie, she knew that it wasn’t her place to tell him. “It was a complicated situation. I stormed out after our fight and maybe the two of them talked about me? Which makes this even worse for me. I don’t know if they talked about me in a good or bad way.”

“Lemme ask you this,” Negan began, stepping in closer to her in the elevator. Sweeping his finger in underneath her chin, he urged her to look up into his hazel eyes. Giving a weak smile, he shrugged his shoulders. “Do you really care how you ended up getting this chance? Maybe now is just your time. You rightfully deserve a moment to shine and experience things. Who cares if Maggie likes it or not. Or how you even got it.”

“Careful. That’s your girlfriend you’re talking about,” she warned, lifting her hand up to curl her fingers around his wrist. Getting him to lower his hand from her face, she felt her chest aching. The last thing he would really want to do is shit talk Maggie and she knew that. Shaking her head, she could feel a lump that was growing at the base of her throat. The sound of the elevator doors opening quieted them. The elevator stopped more times than she would have liked it to. Especially when she had a specific timeline that she had to get through with Guy. But? The one thing it did have was that Negan was incredibly close to her, pressing in near her with the amount of people that were surrounding them. Closing her eyes tightly, the scent of Negan’s cologne surrounded her and it sent chills throughout her body. It was intoxicating. There was something about the way that he smelled that drove her crazy with desire. Forcing herself to act normal, she spoke up in a whisper. “With the two of us? I’ll see you on Saturday. And we can talk then when we are with Jordyn.”

“Saturday is too far away for me,” Negan refused, biting down on his bottom lip. Pressing in closer to her, the warmth of his breath hovered over her ear and it sent chills down her spine. “And really? I want alone time with you. There is only so much we can talk about around Jordyn.”

“Saturday is close enough,” she countered, her heartbeat skipping hearing that he wanted alone time with her. In the past? She would have ate that shit up. Now? Not so much. “Negan, we spent four years with us having zero alone time together. We’ll handle that.”

Reminding him of how their relationship had been over the last few years seemed to infuriate Negan. Her last comment had him rolling his eyes, but it was honest. So she didn’t know why he got so upset about it, “If you want to talk? The two of us will figure something out before Christmas.”

“Yeah, see. That doesn’t work. I told myself the same thing four years ago when the two of us weren’t spending time together. We’ll make time. We’ll find time,” Negan listed off the things that he knew he would say over the last four years, but they never did. People were now starting to listen in on their conversation and it was annoying that they were. “I want to make time for you. We need to make time for each other.”

Thankfully, before she could respond, the doors were opening and people were leaving the elevator. Quickly making her move, she tried to get away from this conversation, but Negan was just as fast in following her, “Why?”

“Why not?” Negan stammered, the lines in his forehead growing. “You’re important to me. That’s why.”

“Thank you?” she stopped, not sure exactly what to say now. There was too much that was going on between them. Things that he didn’t even know and this was starting to get to be too stressful for her. Reaching for her phone, she copied the address and loaded the directions to the place into her phone. Right now, Negan seemed pretty desperate for her attention and she shrugged. “Okay. Why don’t you walk with me to the store? That’s the most free time I’m able to give you right now. It’s only a few blocks away.”

“Yeah. I’d like that,” Negan stammered, moving closer beside her when she started heading for the door. “I would prefer more than just this, but I’ll take what I can get right now.”

There was a silence between them. He’d never been this desperate for her attention, “So…when is your meeting?”

“In two hours,” she educated him, not sure on the exact time. “I’m still trying to determine what he even wants me there for.”

Wincing out, the windchill that surrounded them when they stepped outside the building was extreme. It was cold causing her to pull her jacket in closer to her body, but even that wasn’t doing much for her. Attempting to warm up in the best way that she could, she took a sip of the latte that Negan had gotten for her.

“Thanks again for the drink,” she did want to show him that she appreciated the gesture. Hell, all she wanted from Negan was his attention for four years. Right now? He was giving it to her and proving that he still knew her enough to get her the drink that she actually liked. “It was a very nice gesture.”

“Of course. I’m sorry I haven’t done it more often. I should have gotten you shit when I brought things for Maggie,” Negan acknowledged, bobbing his head about. “You know what it’s like. You get with someone and your brain gets unilaterally focused on that person. Making you a fucking idiot.”

Just nodding, she didn’t want to comment on that one. She’d been a fucking moron for over eight years at this point with how in love she had been with Negan. So she understood that statement more than he would ever know.

“I uh…” Negan began, his words coming out unsure. Finishing off his drink, Negan was quick to throw it away before stepping back beside her. “I do kind of want to talk to you about something we talked about last night.”

“I was drunk Negan. We don’t need to talk about last night,” she stressed to him, hating that it happened to begin with. More than anything she wanted to pretend that last night didn’t happen. “I made a fool of myself in front of you and I’m very embarrassed about it. So I’m sorry for that happening.”

“You don’t have to apologize to me. At all,” Negan refused to accept her apology, his face scrunching up. “I feel like I should have been aware of these things. You meant so much to me for so long and I just…I had to have someone smack me so to fucking speak to realize what I wasn’t doing right as a friend. I needed you to wake my ass up.”

Silence followed. So much could have been said, but she didn’t know how to respond. They were almost to the store, but Negan held his hand out to stop her from continuing. Turning to face her, Negan grasped at her shoulders and gave her an empathetic look.

“I don’t think you are stupid, pathetic or undesirable,” Negan blurt out in response to some of the things she said last night. And it made her want to die on the inside that he was bringing this back up. Dropping her head down, her heart kickstarted in her chest when he brought up the one thing that she wished he would have forgotten.

“I can’t do this right now,” she pulled away from him, her face growing hotter with embarrassment. The store wasn’t too much further away. Hopefully when they got there she would be able to get away from Negan and he would just take the hint.

“You need to hear it,” Negan grunted from behind her trying to catch up with her noticing that she was desperate to escape him. “Please. I don’t think you are any of those things. I think you’re the most amazing woman that I know.”

“Oh, come on Negan,” she abruptly stopped walking, turning to face him with an angered expression. “Stop with the lies. You don’t have to keep lying to me in order to make me feel better about things. Because lying doesn’t help. I’ve had enough of that.”

“I’m not lying to you,” Negan defended himself, his voice growing raspier with him trying to get her to listen to him. “I do think you are the most amazing woman I know. You took a broken person and you made them open their eyes to what was important. Showed me that life was worth living. And what you’ve done for Jordyn…? No one would do that shit. I don’t know how you could assume I would think any of those things about you.”

Giving her a rather pathetic expression with his big, hazel eyes had her frowning, “Negan, you laughed at the idea of me asking you why you never made a move on me. I think that was more than enough proof of how you made me feel last night. I felt stupid. And undesirable. And pathetic. So, there’s that.”

“But it wasn’t…” Negan dropped his head back with a groan when she left him in front of the store by walking away. Following her into the store, Negan stood back to allow her to speak to someone about Guy sending her over.  Once Guy Vixen’s name was dropped, the employees were eager to work with her dragging her throughout the store, asking her questions about what she liked and her clothing sizes. “Y/N?”

“Negan,” she looked over her shoulder to see that he was still following her. Leaving him on the street she felt like was a sufficient enough end to their discussion. “This is not a good time.”

“I realize that, but…” Negan paused when the employee pulled out the dress that Guy had gotten for her. They had Y/N look it over before handing it over to her explaining that when she got it on, they would be able to help her with anything that didn’t look right. Heading over toward the area they had people try on the clothes, Negan felt his throat tensing up when they were alone. Y/N was gazing upon herself in one of the mirrors, holding the dress up to her body attempting to determine if she would look good in it or not. “Did you want me to make a move on you in the past?”

All the color drained from Y/N’s face and he could see it with her reflection in the mirror. Gazing over her shoulder, there was a sense of misery in her eyes and it had him shrugging his shoulders, “Did you?”

Instead of saying anything, she turned on her heel and let out an extended breath. Holding the dress in her arms, her lips parted, but she stopped herself several times from saying anything to him at all, “I think it’s too late to be asking questions like that. Don’t you?”

That shocked him. It wasn’t the answer that he was expecting from her. And she simply just stood there, shaking her head when she thought of what to say next, “If you would have wanted to make a move, you would have.”

“Not necessarily,” Negan interrupted her, his Adam’s apple bouncing in his throat. There was that annoyed smirk again where she definitely thought he was lying just to blow smoke in order to make her feel better. But he held his hand up trying to make it known that he was being honest. “Y/N, you were my student. All four of those years. You heard my view on the whole professor and student thing when we were talking about what Shane was doing. Having a relationship with your student was an abuse of power and…”

“Right, I was just your student,” she hummed, her eyes narrowing with Negan standing before her speechless. Now she felt the tension and the anger coming back. The only problem? She couldn’t use the alcohol as an excuse with the snark she was undoubtedly about to give him. “Was it normal for a student and their professor to flirt like we did? Or how about me taking care of your daughter? What about us laying in your bed for hours talking to each other? I think we were way past a student and professor relationship.”

“So you did want me to make a move on you?” Negan pushed, his jaw flexing with an emotion she couldn’t quite read. Looking around, Negan noticed that the store was empty except for a few stray employees that weren’t paying attention. “Why didn’t you say anything to me? I kept flirting with you. And you said nothing. I genuinely thought you just wanted to be friends.”

“Oh, come on Negan. Please don’t blame me for this. Every woman wants to be romanced by the man that they are interested in. But they don’t want to scream it from the rooftops that they want you to like them,” she chuckled having Negan’s long eyelashes fluttering. “I flirted back with you. And there were times where I felt like you were going to kiss me, but then it always just felt like a tease. You didn’t want it and I understand that.”

“I was your professor,” he reminded her with a bit of color flooding into his face.

“Negan,” she held her hand up knowing that this discussion was a waste of time. Pointing toward the fitting room, she could barely even look him in the eyes right now. “I’m going to get changed. Please just leave.”

“Y/N…” Negan breathed out her name. He didn’t know what to say. And she didn’t want to hear it really.

Turning on her heel, she went into the changing room and left Negan out there. It wasn’t the time or place for this. It was too much. Getting emotional right now wasn’t in the playing cards. It couldn’t happen. Not with the first chance that Guy was actually giving her.

Setting her things down, she pulled her jacket off and tossed it to the corner of the room. Getting her shirt up over the lengths of her body, she tossed the material aside toward the rest of her things. Gasping out, she heard the sound of the door behind her being pushed opened. Looking back over her shoulder, she saw that it was Negan that was moving into her fitting room with her.

“Negan!” she felt her face getting hot, reaching for the shirt that she had tossed in attempts to cover herself up with it. Then again, she didn’t know why she was bothering. It wasn’t helping all that much. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“I’m not leaving until we talk about things,” Negan whispered, closing the door behind him. Leaning back against it, his hazel eyes locked on hers with her covering her chest. A smirk tugged at his handsome features and he tipped his head to the side. “You’ve seen me naked Y/N.”

“Not by choice,” she half laughed with Negan folding his arms in front of his chest. Thankfully this changing room was big enough for them to be separated, but still. If someone noticed him coming into the room she wasn’t sure how the store would handle it. “I saw you naked because you were fucking the person that was living in the same apartment as me. And she liked to flaunt off your big dick in my face just to rub it in that you were hers.”

“You think it’s big?” Negan grunted, a wicked smirk tugging at his features. God, of course that was the only thing he heard in her statement.

“You’re such a man,” she rolled her eyes, sighing loudly before she tossed the material of her shirt aside. At this point, she didn’t even care that he saw her in her bra. “You already know the answer to that question. You just want to hear me say it’s big so you can get arrogant about things.”

“I didn’t realize you were looking,” Negan stressed, bobbing his head back and forth. “Does that mean you liked what you saw?”

“You were walking naked around the apartment all the time,” she was flustered with him, reminding him of what it was like when she lived with Maggie in their apartment together. “Kind of hard to miss. And don’t even start with that.”

“Fine, you don’t want to talk about that. We don’t have to. But, I still don’t think it’s fair that you get to see me naked and it’s no big deal. Whereas I just want to talk to you while you change and suddenly you have so many issues,” Negan argued, throwing his hand about seeing something change in her eyes. Nodding, she started to work open her pants after kicking out of her shoes. “I want to know why you didn’t talk to me about things back then.”

“Would you have cared?” she pushed down the material of her pants causing Negan to let out a tense breath. Folding her clothes up, she closed the distance between the two of them and shrugged. Standing before Negan in her bra and panties was not exactly something she had on her bingo card for today. “Because I don’t think you would have given a fuck. I was right there for the taking and you didn’t do a fucking thing.”

“I just…” Negan swallowed down hard, dropping his head to look between the two of them. Gazing at her breasts, Negan’s breathing grew broken and she laughed. Forcing himself to look up, Negan’s Adam’s apple bounced. Licking at his lips, Negan felt the warmth of her body close to his. “What?”

“I’m just starting to realize that my breasts are more impressive than I thought,” she explained considering the fact that Guy turned into an absolute mess last night over them. And both Negan along with Shane said something. “Or maybe men are just predictable.”

“We are, but that’s not what this is about,” Negan stammered, his lips parting when she stepped slowly away from him. Since he knew she was about to get dressed, he didn’t know if it would be inappropriate or not to continue to be this way. “Do you want me to turn around?”

“Do you want to turn around? You’re the one that barged in here complaining about how it wasn’t fair that I’ve seen you naked,” she reminded him of what he had just said to her, having his dimples becoming more prominent with the smirk he was giving her. “I guess I’m just having a hard time believing that it took you eight years to realize how I felt about you.”

“I was married for two of them. A mess for one of them,” Negan reminded her with her nodding her head about dramatically.

“And dating my best friend for four of them,” she finished up for him, sucking in a sharp breath of air. “And the sad thing is that I would have done fucking anything for you. I pretty much have when you really think about it.”

“What are you doing?” Negan stammered, biting down on his bottom lip when she reached behind her for the hook in her bra. The material loosened and his long eyelashes fluttered with his eyes lowering down.

“I need the bra off in order to wear the dress Negan,” she claimed, still keeping the material loose at her arms. Even though it was undone, she was still managing to cover her breasts. “If you would like to leave, you can turn around right now and wait for me to be done.”

Standing his ground, Negan lifted his head. The vein at the side of his neck slightly bulged while staring out at her. Snickering, she shrugged her shoulders and let the material drop down. Allowing her breasts to be revealed to him had him inhaling loudly. The reaction was almost immediate with his lips parting.

“If you’re going to stay in here, I could probably use your help getting the dress on,” she explained to him pointing over toward the dress. Standing before him in just her panties was bold. Likely the wrong thing to do, but he was the one that wasn’t leaving and she was on a schedule here. After all the embarrassment she went through over the last day or so? Right now, she didn’t seem to have a care in the world that she was just about naked in front of Negan except for her panties.

“Yeah,” Negan simply said, dragging his tongue across his bottom lip again. Stepping before the mirror in the dressing room, she started to gaze upon the dress. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed that Negan had taken his jacket off and put it on one of the hangers. Instead of staying where he was, Negan moved toward her. Each step was slow with her straightening up her posture. Going to look back, she stopped when Negan’s arm loosely hooked around her torso. Faintly his hand skimmed in over her lower abdomen having her let out a tremoring breath. “I’ve always thought you were beautiful Y/N.”

She wanted to say something smart. But nothing came out.

The tips of his fingers were rough when they made further contact with the area right below her navel. Now the warmth of him behind her grew closer. Closing her eyes tightly, she knew that she was trembling beneath Negan’s touch with him caressing up over her ribcage and across her abdomen. Forcing her eyes open, she saw Negan’s eyes locked on her reactions in the mirror. There was something in his hazel eyes that showed an awe for her. Negan’s lips were parted, his breathing loud in her ear. Easing his touch up higher, he dragged his palm flat across her abdomen right beneath her breasts.

Dropping his head forward, Negan nuzzled his nose against the side of her neck taking in the scent of her. With a moan, she felt his hand drag back across her chest with the roughness of his palm now caressing over her breasts.

Kissing at her jawline faintly, Negan growled against her flesh with his index finger circling one of her nipples, “You are so beautiful.”

“Negan,” her head dropped back against his shoulder as he dragged his palm across to the other breast to cup it tenderly in his hand. Whimpering, she didn’t know how to respond. Had she never waken up and this was still a dream? It felt all so real, but at the same time? After how long her feelings festered for Negan, this just felt like something her brain would have come up with to help make last night better.

Testing the flesh in his grasp, a growl fell from his lips with him pressing another kiss over her jawline. Pinching at her nipple, he followed it up with circling it teasing at her flesh with his rough fingertips. Quiet cries escaped from her parted lips. In a way, they were both still being quiet since they were in public. Pushing his hand down between the valley of her breasts, Negan lifted his eyes to watch her expressions.

Sliding his hand down the middle of her abdomen toward the top of her panties, Negan pushed his hand beneath the material hearing her whimpering out his name. It drew a fire throughout his body with her left hand reaching around the hook slightly around the back of his neck. Stroking her fingers through his hair, her body trembled when he palmed in over her mound.

Waiting for her to deny him, Negan buried his nose further against the side of her neck. Caressing over her most intimate area, Negan let out a raspy moan with her hips pressing back and her ass rubbing up against him. It was the most gifting thing she could have asked for from him. Only in her dreams had she heard him like this, and those were nothing in comparison.

“Fuck,” he rumbled, kissing at her neck. With her free hand, she reached around her. Flattening her palm out over the front of his pants, she caressed at his body through the material. Bouncing his hips forward into her touch, Negan’s index finger dragged a line over the length of her sex. On trembling legs, she purred and tried not to shake too much.

Working his pants open as best as she could, she dipped her hand beneath the material of Negan’s pants. Their breathing was uneven, with both of them shaking. The roughness from Negan’s short beard tickled at her skin and once she palmed over Negan’s warm flesh, she could feel his fingertips circling her clitoris. With her touch, Negan was rewarding her with tiny moans. The warmth of him felt incredible against her hand with him slightly bucking up toward her touch. Each passing second had Negan’s caress over her body growing harder and she was doing her best to stand steady on her feet.

“Fuck…” Negan’s voice was raspy with her fingers curling around his girthy length, working to jerk him off to the best of her ability in the position that they were in. Panting, Negan licked his lips and his eyes met hers again in the mirror. Dragging his bottom lip across her jawline, Negan hissed out along with her grasp tightening around his body.

“How’s it going in there?” the employee’s voice called out having Y/N pulling her hand from Negan’s pants causing a muted groan to fall from him. Reaching for Negan’s wrist, she stopped his touch with him still cuddling his head in against the side of her neck. “Do you need some help?”

“No, I’m fine,” she declared, fighting like hell to keep it together after the way they had been touching each other. Listening carefully, she made sure that the person was gone. Still locked in on the moment, Negan’s caress started back up. There was something that drew attention to the lust in his eyes. “Negan…fuck, Negan stop.”

Yanking his hand from her panties, she stumbled forward. Bracing her arms against the mirror, she dropped her head forward and tried to get her body to calm down. Licking her lips, she felt an ache inside of her. All of her desperately wanted to continue, but she knew it would lead to nothing good.

“We can’t do this,” she finally blurt out, looking over her shoulder at Negan. Both of their breathing was still uneven. The bulge at the center of Negan’s pants drew her attention and she immediately regretted that she stopped this, but knew it was for the best. “You don’t want this.”

“I just…” Negan lifted his hand to drag it down over the front of his face in a moment of confusion. Falling back into the corner of the room, Negan’s eyes grew wide with him cussing under his breath to himself. Starting to work back together his pants allowed her time to catch her breath. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” she lied. It really wasn’t fine, but what could she tell him? Working on the dress, she had some issues, but was surprised that Negan was helping to get the dress over her body. Even though they both had realized what they had done, Negan’s fingers were slow with caressing at her bare shoulders and then over her back. Dragging the zipper up, Negan’s eyes locked with hers. There was a rose color to his cheeks. It looked like he wanted to say something, but nothing was coming out. “Thank you.”

Taking a step back to look at herself in the mirror, she realized that it was tight fitting in some areas, but she assumed those were the areas that Guy wanted her to be focused on.

“What just happened…” Negan began, dragging his thumb out across his bottom lip.

“It was nothing,” she interrupted him, not wanting him to overthink this whole thing. “I had been working you up since last night. It was a moment of heated tension, and it didn’t go anywhere. Don’t worry about it. You were feeling guilty about everything…”

“But I wasn’t,” Negan defended himself, placing his hand in over the center of his chest. A defeated sound followed with her phone going off. Grabbing it, she looked to see that it was Guy asking where she was. “I think we need to talk about us.”

“There is no us in the terms of us needing to talk about it,” she suggested, taking another look at the dress in the mirror. “Do I look okay? Because I have to rush to this meeting.”

Right now, she was breathless. It was going to be hard to think about anything other than this moment while she was in that meeting. Facing Maggie would be hard, but it was undoubtedly a moment she would have to get over. There was a reason they were stopped and they probably should have never done it to begin with.

“You look beautiful,” Negan assured her, reaching for his jacket as she gathered her things. Dropping his hands down at his sides, Negan licked his lips and let out a long exhale. “You wanted me to touch you like that, right?”

“Did you want to touch me like that?” she was quick to respond, pulling her jacket on after shoving her clothes in the bag that she had with her.

“I mean…” Negan lowered his head to look down to the very obvious bulge that was still in his jeans. There was a severe ache from the lack of his release and she was the one that stopped him. Not the other way around. “Obviously.”

“Why now and not four years ago?” she stammered with Negan attempting to think of an answer, but the sound of her phone going off was heard again. Rolling her eyes, she dropped her head back in defeat realizing this would go nowhere. “I have to leave Negan.”

Stepping forward, he huffed with her holding out her hand to keep a distance between the two of them, “I have a feeling that later you are going to regret this. Especially after you have time to think about this. So, I’m just going to leave Negan. I have to go.”

And with that, she was quick to leave the dressing room. Checking to make sure everything was okay with the store, she was eager to get back to the office. That meant she took whatever shoes they gave her, put on the jewelry they handed over and she barely even looked at herself. Moving faster than she would have liked to in the shoes that she had put on. In the snow, it made it hard to walk, but she was doing her best.

By the time she got up the elevator, Guy was sitting on the corner of someone’s desk motioning her to move quickly, “What took you so long?”

“I just wanted to make sure that I looked perfect,” she was out of breath both from what happened with Negan and rushing here.

“Open the jacket,” Guy demanded with her doing as he asked. Giving an approving nod, he waved her forward. “I want you to be relaxed. I want you to do what feels right and where we go from there…we’ll see.”

----

“You’re really quiet tonight,” a voice pulled Negan’s attention from what he was doing. Lifting his head, Negan’s eyes followed Maggie’s movements after she had just gotten out of his bathroom after a shower. She was stroking the towel she had through her hair and Negan shifted on the bed uncomfortably.

For the last hour or so Negan had been going through photos that he had on his phone. Y/N was right. Once he started thinking about the things that happened earlier, he started feeling guilty. He had been with Maggie for four years. Not once had he ever considered cheating on Maggie. After he had a tough relationship with Lucille during some of their hardships, Negan swore he would never cheat on someone again. Yet, he got pretty close to it and he was certain that Maggie would have considered it cheating.

“I’m not quiet,” Negan stammered, trying to keep things normal between them. “Just tired.”

“You’re a big mouth Negan,” Maggie pointed out, looking back over her shoulder at Negan. Tipping his head from side to side, Negan got more comfortable on the bed before looking to his phone again. “What has your head buried in that phone tonight?”

“I was just looking at some photos,” Negan explained letting out a long sigh. Truthfully? He was looking at photos he had taken during the years involving Y/N. “Around this time of the year, I get sentimental. Especially after losing Lucille near the holidays.”

“That’s sweet,” Maggie frowned, setting the towel she had been using to dry her hair off on his dresser. Tensing up, Negan’s hazel eyes focused on that towel. He hated when she did things like that, but she had gotten mad at him so many times in the past for correcting her that he was doing his best to hold it in. Making sure that the towel that was around her body was still hooked together firmly, Maggie lowered down on the bed to sit beside Negan. “So what was the conversation about with Y/N that you were desperate to talk to her?”

“I told you…” Negan exhaled loudly, setting his phone aside when Maggie’s fingers pushed at the bottom of his shirt. Getting it to the center of his chest, Maggie started palming across his lower abdomen eliciting a sigh from him. Sliding in closer, her fingers danced across his flesh until reaching his pajama pants. Pushing her hand beneath the material had Negan’s eyes slamming shut tightly when her fingers made contact with his manhood. “There are some things you need to keep to yourself.”

“I’m not allowed to be curious? My best friend and my boyfriend are deep in conversation and I’m not allowed to know what about?” Maggie bit down on her bottom lip, taking her time to tease at Negan’s flesh.

“You can be curious, but that doesn’t mean that I have to tell you,” Negan looked to the time to make sure that Jordyn would be asleep. It had been a few hours since she had gone to bed, so Negan assumed it would be okay for them to do something like this. Maggie’s grip grew with Negan’s comment causing him to groan out. “Why are you so desperate to know?”

“Well what am I supposed to think when the two of you keep secrets from me?” she wondered, adjusting her wet hair over her shoulder. Each caress over Negan’s body had him growing harder in her grasp which was a good sign for her.

“We’re good friends Maggie,” Negan stressed to her, his breathing growing louder with her caress becoming faster. Between broken breaths, Negan licked at his lips appreciating the touch. “I knew her before I knew you.  And we’re close…”

“Not that close,” Maggie countered, her brow line creasing. There was a silence that filled the air while she considered her next comment. “Maybe before you were dating me the two of you were close. Since then, she’s really only around for Jordyn.”

“And that’s my fault because I should have been a better friend,” Negan insisted, his lower abdomen sinking in with a sharp inhale of a breath. “I should have put equal amounts of time into both you and her.”

“Gee, thanks,” Maggie snorted working her hand harder over Negan’s throbbing erection. Hearing that didn’t make her happy because she liked being the center of Negan’s world beyond his daughter.

“You know what I mean,” Negan rolled his eyes, dropping his head back with a moan. Licking his lips, his eyes slammed shut when Maggie started to tug at the material of his pants to get them down in the front allowing her more room to touch him. “Maggie?”

“Mhmm?” her eyes were focused on what she was doing in pumping her hand over his length.

“What was it about me that you liked?” Negan wondered, his Adam’s apple bouncing in his throat. It was something he had been considering lately. An amused rumble escaped her with her movements slowing down. “What drew you to me?”

“You were hot?” Maggie was blunt, a tiny laugh following. “Have you looked at yourself lately Negan? You were this tall, dark and handsome type. With a killer smile and those dimples. Who wouldn’t be interested in you?”

“That’s it?” Negan winced when her movements stopped all together. It had his hips bouncing up toward her grasp, but she didn’t continue.

“What else would it be?” she inquired, her eyebrow arching in a moment of confusion.

“I didn’t know if there was some ulterior motive,” Negan whined when Maggie pulled her hand away from his aching flesh.

“What kind of motive?” Maggie looked suspicious now that Negan was questioning why she hooked up with him in the first place. “I thought you were hot. So I let you know and we fucked. What more is there to say?”

“I…I don’t know,” Negan let his words linger. There were a lot of thoughts he had been having since the other night. Things he really shouldn’t have been thinking about, but he was. “What’s your favorite thing about me?”

“What’s with the deep conversation all of a sudden?” she laughed, curling her fingers back around his girthy length having his hips arch up toward her touch. “Usually we talk about our day and either fuck or go to sleep. Our relationship has never really been built on much more.”

“That’s all you think our relationship is?” Negan confirmed, sucking in a sharp breath of air and dropping his head back.

“What do you want from this Negan? Do you want me to keep jerking you off? Do you want me to have sex with you? Or…?” Maggie seemed frustrated, her green eyes narrowing. Pulling her hand from Negan’s member had it smacking up against his lower abdomen with him wincing. “You’re not acting like you.”

“How am I supposed to act?” Negan scoffed with his cock aching after getting it harder for the second time today with no release.

“I don’t know Negan, I’m in a towel stroking your dick and you’re looking for some kind of deep conversation from me,” she retorted, standing up from the bed and snatching the towel that she had left on the dresser. “Maybe you should be taking the towel off of me and fucking me.”

“So sex is the primary thing you want from me?” Negan doubled down on his question which had her laughing at him.

Tossing the towel in the hamper, she threw her hands up and nodded, “I mean having sex is what we do best. Right?”

“Is it?” Negan had a bit of attitude in the way he was responding to her. “If we’re going to be a couple for the rest of our lives, don’t you think we should have some kind of something fucking deeper between us? Where we can actually talk about the things that are on our mind.”

“Baby,” Maggie began, crawling onto the bed. Moving in over him, she lowered down to start pressing kisses at his lower abdomen. Then down over to his hip where the v-line was. “You’re not a deep person. You cuss. You joke. And we fuck. The only deep you like is being balls deep. Fucking is what you’re good at. Being someone who wants to connect on an emotional level is not you. We got together because you wanted to fuck me. Not because you wanted to connect on an emotional level. If that’s what you wanted, you would have hooked up with Y/N. Not me.”

“Hey,” Negan stopped her, his head tipping to the side. “Why would you say something like that?”

“Come on Negan,” she half laughed, hovering her mouth over Negan’s length. Her green eyes were locked on his, an amused expression over her features. “You had to know that Y/N was head over heels in love with you. You had four years of an opportunity to make your move on her. You didn’t want her, you wanted me. She was the one you could make an emotional connection with. I was the one that you could fuck senseless. You picked me.”

Hearing Maggie say that aloud had Negan pulling up into a seated position with his back leaning against the headboard, “Oh come on. Don’t pretend like you didn’t know. You think some girl is just going to start being mommy to your child because she’s good and kindhearted? You knew she was in love with you. And you made it very clear that you didn’t care.”

“I didn’t know how she felt about me back then,” Negan denied that he was the way that Maggie was insisting that he was. “The first two years I was married and then the next two…”

“What is this going to do?” she got on her knees, irritation flooding her veins. “You’re not about to convince me. She’s not here, so her feelings aren’t going to be hurt. I know for a fact that she was head over heels in love with you. I was her best friend after all. I heard it all the time how in love with you she was. How you were the most perfect man. How she connected with you better than anyone. How the two of you would talk for hours and hours. You weren’t looking for an emotional bond. You were looking for a sexual one. Because I know she let you know how desperate she was for you to like her. Considering every outfit. Doing everything just to impress you. The girl even considered going into film just because of you.”

“You knew how she felt and you started dating me?” Negan breathed out, a sudden surge of guilt flooding through is veins. Now he was understanding why Y/N was talking about things the way she was over the last few days. These were real feelings that even Maggie seemed to be confirming for him right now.

Rolling her eyes, Maggie started kissing up over Negan’s abdomen toward the center of his chest, “You knew how she felt and you started dating me. It’s pot calling the kettle black, isn’t it? You took advantage of her kindness because you weren’t attracted to her. I took advantage of you because you were hot and she was doing nothing to make her move on you. Or maybe she was and you just didn’t want to. Either way, we’re bad people Negan.”

Lifting his hips up, Negan started to pull his pants back over his body. Moving out from underneath Maggie had her releasing an annoyed rumble, “Please don’t act like you’re above this. You’re a lot of things, but stupid is not one of them. Don’t act like you didn’t know.”

“You sound proud of it,” Negan stressed to her and she threw her hand up in the air. “Hurting your best friend makes you happy?”

“She had her time to make her move on you. I saw you and I knew that I had to have you because you were hot. She had four years. Nothing. I had two weeks and I had you immediately,” Maggie reminded Negan getting to her knees on the bed before him. Tugging at the towel that she was wearing, she allowed it to drop down onto the bed. “You didn’t want a deep, emotional relationship with someone you bonded with. You wanted someone that you could fuck that made you feel good.”

Leaning back against the dresser, Negan huffed loudly while considering what she was saying, “Why don’t you just grab a condom and fuck me. Get this aggression out. I know you like to play the good guy with things, but we both know you’re a shitty person Negan. So just be you and stop pretending to be this person that we both know you’re not.”

Waiting, Maggie wiggled her finger at Negan with a wicked smirk tugging at her pretty features. Turning, she lowered down onto her hands and knees. Pressing her hands against the bed, she put her face down and her ass up to tease him.

“So do what you do best Negan. Shut up and fuck me,” she demanded hearing Negan’s breathing growing louder. With a wince, Maggie heard Negan move forward swiftly and he grabbed her hips firmly. Purring out, she felt Negan’s hand placing at the back of her neck to get her to press her face further into the bed. “That’s it…”

“No,” Negan growled releasing her and moving away from the bed. Groaning out, she sat up in the bed and pulled her towel back on when she stood from the bed. “I’m more than just a fuck. And I refuse to believe I’m some kind of prick that used a girl to take care of my daughter…”

“What did you do then Negan?” she watched him drop onto the chair at the corner of the room beside the light that was there. Digging into his pants that he had taken off earlier, Negan pulled out a cigarette and she huffed. “You made a girl fall in love with you and then you fucked her best friend. At least own up to it. Realize that’s who you are and you can’t change it. Being a single parent at the time was too hard for you, so you found the first sucker you could get. And with how much she loved you? It was easy.”

“You weren’t around, you don’t know,” Negan growled putting his cigarette between his lips. Cussing out, Negan couldn’t get the lighter to light his cigarette. Stealing it from him, Maggie managed to get his cigarette lit. With a glare, Negan inhaled sharply and winced when he pulled the cigarette away with a big exhale of smoke. “I could barely get out of bed. I was ready to fucking die. And she saved my life. If it wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t be here anymore. My daughter wouldn’t have either one of her parents.”

“Okay, so now that you know she was in love with you. What are you going to do? Leave me for her?” Maggie pushed, wondering if her comment was going to backfire on her. There seemed to be a lot of emotions that Negan was feeling right now and it wasn’t how she thought he would be responding to things. “After four years are you just going to dump me to be with her?”

“Obviously not,” Negan winced with Maggie crawling in over him. Dropping his head back, Negan didn’t fight Maggie when she started working his cock through the opening of his pajama pants. Closing his eyes, Negan groaned when Maggie lowered down in over him taking him into her. Hooking her fingers into his dark hair, Maggie forced him to look at her and he pulled his cigarette from his lips. “I wouldn’t throw away a four-year relationship over…”

“Nothing?” Maggie finished for him causing him to grunt. Taking her time to roll her hips in over Negan, she heard his breathing uneven and he still looked mad. “Now that we’re on that point, I do think that she may be too involved in our lives.”

Burying her head against the side of Negan’s neck, Maggie moaned out against his flesh, “She acts like she is Jordyn’s mother…and she’s not.”

Biting down on his bottom lip, Negan felt Maggie tugging at the hair at the back of his head while her movements grew stronger over him, “It’s time you let her get her hopes up and know that she’s not welcome in this family. She’s just our friend. Nothing more.”

“Stop,” Negan demanded, sucking in a sharp breath of air. Groaning out, Maggie started to firmly bounce her hips back against him having Negan tossing his cigarette in the ashtray. Grasping at her hips, Negan growled with her forcing his arms back against the chair. “I said stop, damn it.”

“You don’t want me to stop,” she asserted, her moans vibrating against Negan’s ear. Bouncing her hips back against his length had his winces flooding the area surrounding them. “You’re mine Negan. You know that.”

Nipping at Negan’s earlobe, Maggie forced his wrists further back against the chair with Negan’s breaths growing louder, “It’s my pussy you wanted to fuck. And it’s been that way for four years.”

Hooking her fingers around Negan’s wrists with her right hand, she lowered her left and grabbed a firm hold of Negan’s jaw. Forcing him to look at her, Maggie pressed her forehead to his with the wet sounds their bodies made filling the air, “You’re mine. And she’s just going to have to deal with it.”

“Fuck…” Negan winced, his heart hammering in his chest with the way she was moving over him. Even if he was fighting it, it was hard. After being denied an orgasm twice today, his body was desperate to have one. But mentally? He didn’t want this. Not after she just accused him of being a massive piece of shit that purposely hurt someone he cared about. “Get off me.”

“Let it happen Negan,” she purred against the side of his neck, riding him harder. By the sounds of his moans, she knew that he was close so she was working extra hard to get what she wanted.

With a roar, Negan managed to get his hands unhooked from her grasp. Forcing her hips from him just in time, the first line of Negan’s cum spread out across his lower abdomen. Groaning out, Negan dropped his head back with his breathing uneven as his cock twitched through the rest of his release.

“Being greedy tonight, fine,” Maggie got up from the chair and reached for her towel to put it back on. Tossing Negan the tissues had him hissing out.

“She’s the closest thing to a mother my daughter has,” Negan finally responded to what Maggie had said earlier, working to clean himself up. “I’m not going to take that away from Jordyn. One thing has been constant in her life other than me and that’s Y/N. She may not be Jordyn’s biological mother, but I will never separate the two of them.”

“Whatever then,” Maggie knew it was no use to keep bothering with the situation since Negan seemed to be so sensitive over it. “But you’re just dragging her along. I’m sure she’s really happy being the mother to your child without you going balls deep and pumping her full of your cum.”

“Mature Maggie,” Negan threw the tissues in the garbage, working himself back into his pants.

“Like you’re mature at all,” she countered as she got dressed in something to wear. Huffing out, she pressed back her hair and realized that Negan was having a hard time even looking at her. “You could have at least let me make myself come. It’s not really all that fair to let you orgasm, but I don’t get one.”

“Oh, so now you want to have unprotected sex with me?” Negan countered with an angered expression. “You were the one always so insistent that you didn’t want me to come in you because you didn’t want to get pregnant. You don’t want my babies Maggie. You said that yourself.”

“I’m on the pill Negan,” she reminded him getting a huff in response. “I’m just not ready for children yet. I want them, but I’d like to be more comfortable in my career by the time that we have them. And being married to you might be a thing to think about if you want children.”

“Oh, so now you’re comfortable with being married to me?” Negan responded, standing up from the chair that he was seated in. Resting his hands at his hips, Negan was visibly starting to get angrier. “Two years ago when I asked you to marry me, you told me no. You don’t even want to fucking move in with me.”

“I wasn’t ready then,” she stressed to him with Negan rolling his eyes and moving back to the bed to drop down onto it. “Now I might be.”

“You weren’t when I asked the first time, but now you might be,” Negan snickered, rolling his eyes and shaking his head. “I think you should help Y/N get further ahead in your company. Being your personal assistant isn’t really a job that was made for her.”

“Wow, that was a quick change of subject. Talking about our relationship to going back to Y/N,” Maggie frowned, dropping down on the bed beside Negan. Yanking the blankets out beneath him had him huffing angrily. “I would never do that because she sucks at her job. She’s lucky that I gave her a job in the first place. Guy wouldn’t even see her originally.”

“She sucks at her job?” Negan repeated what Maggie had said, the muscles in his throat flexing with her blurting that out. “Something tells me that’s not true because I was there when Guy demanded her be in the meeting today. If someone was bad at their job, I don’t think they would be being asked to be part of that meeting.”

“Oh, he only wants to fuck her,” Maggie rolled her eyes, turning away from Negan and getting comfortable in the bed. That was the second time he heard that today. Y/N had thought the same thing earlier.

“Does that mean she did a bad job during the meeting today?” Negan inquired, waving his hand about in the air in attempts to get Maggie to tell him about things. Earlier he had texted Y/N, but she had never gotten back to him. And that did upset him. Especially after everything that happened between them.

“She’s your good friend. Why don’t you go call her and find out yourself?” Maggie snorted cuddling her head further into the pillow. Hearing the way Maggie was talking, Negan was starting to understand why Y/N was having the feelings that she was toward Maggie.

“She asked me to help her get a job in the film industry you know,” Negan blurt out having Maggie push up onto her hands to look over at Negan. There seemed to be a sense of panic flooding her features with Negan admitting that to her. “Told me that she was unhappy working for you.”

“And what did you tell her?” Maggie looked like she was going to get sick with Negan letting her in on the information that he likely should have kept to himself.

“I told her that I didn’t have contacts like I did before,” Negan explained with Maggie rolling her eyes and letting out a laugh.

“Well that’s bullshit,” she almost found amusement in Negan lying to Y/N about that. “They are constantly begging you to come back and work with them,” Maggie reminded Negan, pulling herself up into a seated position. “See, you don’t think she would be a good enough employee either.”

“I panicked. Especially after how much you bitch about her,” Negan was honest with Maggie throwing his hands up in the air. For years she would come home and complain to him about Y/N and how awful she was. For a while his mind actually started to believe it in terms of her career. “I told her that in order to make that happen, I would have to put myself on the line and…”

“Good boy,” Maggie outstretched her hand to pat Negan on the chest eliciting a defeated breath from him. “She’s where she belongs Negan. Don’t feel bad. You made the right decision. As soon as Guy fucks her, he’s not going to be interested anymore. And she’ll fall back into place.”

“You told me that she was a bad worker. You’ve been saying that for years,” Negan recalled all the things that Maggie had been telling him since they were together. “I know her better than that, but I just allowed myself to believe you because…”

“Oh shut up Negan,” she rolled her eyes lowering down onto the bed again to get comfortable. “You made your decision. If you didn’t believe me and you thought that she would be good you would have gotten her the job. Instead you told her no. Which good for you for standing up for yourself. It’s what she deserves. To be put in her place. Her egos way too big.”

“So Guy really does want to have sex with her?” Negan brought up what Maggie had said with Maggie snorting under her breath. “Y/N said the same thing. Said that today wasn’t something to be excited about because she just thought Guy wanted to have sex with her.”

“And he will,” Maggie slurred, dropping her head down further into the pillow. “Guy gets what he wants and if she wants to keep working at Vixen, she will do whatever he wants. And she’ll probably enjoy it. He’s a hot guy. It’ll be the biggest thing to happen to her. So…”

Huffing out, Negan dropped his head back again and looked up at the ceiling. Today had been a rough day and he had a headache. There were so many feelings and emotions he was going through and he didn’t even know where to begin in dealing with them.

----

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[zeyris-daydreams]

…The fox is often unnoticed until the henhouse is empty.

Yandere!Sunday x reader ! Part [1/4]

a/n; Based around a dream i had. Warnings aren’t many, spare for manipulative and cunning Sunday. The full picture develops over the course of chapters.

———————†

You haven’t had many expectations. Your legs felt weak from prolonged lack of movement, like bags of sand dragging behind you with each step. You had to wake- you had to wake up.

The ache in the back of your skull persisted, washing down your body in a steady rhythm, pulsing like a tumor. You hated that persistent feeling. The presence of the wall on your fingers was dull, texture hardly registered as you glared towards the neverending traffic on the streets of Penacony. As of now, all that remained was your overbearing urge to vomit — alongside the street light right around the corner. It still was too bright, the back of your eyes in constant pain.

You chose to remain in the alleway, deciding that it wasn’t worth risking being seen by any of the guards.

Not that you had time to spare. Each hour that passed worsened the withdrawal at the price of better bodily sensation - like a drug that you were relying on without your own consent.

Your knees nearly bent under the weight of your body, other hand clutching your chest. A hiss escaped you when your bare knees hit the unforgiving ground. You were faintly aware of the cold sweat sticking to your forehead, and the feeling of fire from the inside - it felt like a furnace in there.

Any other person within this “sweet” dream would have woken up at the hotel, but not you, no. Perhaps if you launched yourself to a driving by vehicle, maybe then-

No. If you failed, that would alert the Bloodhound guards. And then - you’d be back to square one. The clothes you donned wouldn’t help the hit much anyway - something unspecified that hung over your body, and socks. Like a mockery of a pyjama - that and underwear.

Your hair stuck to your forehead and you pushed it away to see better - surroundings blurring together.

How long were you hiding here? A day, maybe…? While you traversed a very short distance, it was as though your body was getting ready to go down. It was distasteful, to turn into such a pathetic rag after being regarded so highly once. Once.

As of now, you were deemed dead.

Your breath came in and out in short specks, chest unable to expand fully and constrict fully - akin to an experience of breathing while sleeping.

Self loathing and compassion in your mind were brought to a stop by a hand on your shoulder. The grip was firm, enough to have you tense, jerking your head back. An older man - a bloodhound - alerted you. His brown hair was brushed from his face by his hand. “You okay?”

It didn’t look like you were in trouble, but—

“Yes.” Maybe your tone wasn’t as convincing, and you gripped your head at another wave of a headache. ’You will speak when I allow you to. You will look at me when you speak.’

The man took the cigarette out of his mouth, brow raising. “I don’t think so.”

As you cleared your throat and opened your mouth to speak, the pain persisted. But you had to prevail despite it. “I’m not.. help.. help me..”

He put the cigarette out on the wall, a soft ‘hiss’ as the ashes crumbled to the floor. The item was discarded into a large bin nearby — your body nearly collapsed, and the man caught you by your arms. He didn’t say anything at first, pulling you straight up soon after. “Let’s not stay out here.”

Your legs followed mindlessly, feet scrambling over the pavement as he led you along. As you walked forward, he looked at you from the side, before continuing on. Your head hung low the entire time, only aware of how the tips of your toes scraped at the ground below with each horrible drag, and how you weren’t pulled out into the bustling street.

The exhaustion was only setting in - the adrenaline having long worn off. You found that the effects of harmony could prolong for days, weeks, months. It was like a never ending source within your mind; once a cancer sets in, it’s unlikely to ever eradicate it fully.

Maybe that’s why your perception of time was so utterly out of place, and you haven’t even realised you’ve already walked through a doorway.

As you tipped your head to look up, you squeezed your eyelids together, your mouth feeling dry. The migraine was ever-present, photophobia only serving to enlarge its effect — making everything look impossible to distinguish. The room looked white, spare for rougher edges of furniture before your vision sharpened. The shapes were clearer and clearer, and you found yourself within an office. One that Bloodhound’s probably worked from, as you’ve seen many alike months ago.

“Name’s Gallagher, by the way.”

He stepped to the desk, using his foot to pull the chair back, before lightly guiding you onto it. Gallagher stepped back, headed for the joint room of this office.

Sat like that you slouched, ignoring the way your throat tightened. ‘You ought to sit properly’, but who cared about that now? You watched your trembling hands, laid on top of your lap. The fingers shook, hot and cool at the same time. The fire of harmony raged inside you, and the coldness of the outside chilled your weary shell.

You wore close to nothing after all.

The chair you leaned against brought some comfort to your sore muscles. It took a lot of work to even get moving, and like so it took even more effort to keep in motion. The amount of energy you used on even lifting yourself up previously was taking its toll now, your limbs entirely relaxing, dragging your weight down on the chair. A weary sigh left you. All that effort, and you still didn’t even leave penacony. It must’ve been over a day-

When Gallagher came back, you didn’t bother to look behind, feeling your shoulders be wrapped in a blanket. You welcomed it, grabbing the edges to pull them over yourself properly. “Thanks..”

He murmured something to himself about ‘troublesome young dreamers’, before he sat on the chair behind his desk. Only then did you briefly meet his gaze, noticing he placed a cup of water in front of you. “Drink, kid”

While you wanted to scoff, you merely reached for the paper cup, both hands gripping onto it to bring it to your mouth. Given your expertise, you should have checked the contents. Yet your eyes closed and you tipped your head, greedily downing the contents in huge gulps. Small stream of water ran down the corner of your mouth, dripping onto your skin and some on your plan white shirt. Not plain anymore. Wandering about for hours surely made it disorderly.

Only when the cup was empty did you put it down on the table, and it was nearly weightless, almost knocked off the darkened wood of the desk. ‘Officer Gallagher’ the decor on the desk read, showing his elevated position within the hierarchy.

You were cooked. If they had found out you—

The Bloodhound leaned back in his chair, fingers intertwined together in thought. “What were you doing, out and about?“ It was a matter-of-fact question. Usually the guards don’t find people in your condition. Your eyes were growing weary, but you tried to keep your gaze trained on the desk. Yet your eyelids fell shut, and you opened them once more.

No one would believe you if you said the truth. And if they did, you’d doom yourself more than necessary. He was doing you a favour by not seeking further justice, if you exposed him, you’d expose yourself—

“I don’t-“ Your throat suddenly tightened, “-remember. I’m.. sorry.”

Gallagher thought for a moment, studying you. You couldn’t judge from his expression whether or not he bought that excuse, so you swallowed the thick saliva that pooled in your mouth. Your vision felt strange, everything swimmed. The air in your chest felt hot and dry.

As you blinked you could swear that the bloodhound’s outfit was grey for mere seconds. You were clearly losing it, your vision doubling.

”—Injury maybe, I just can’t remember.” ‘You won’t speak of it to anyone, lest it is to find your way to me.’

Before you spun more elaborate excuses, he waved his hand dismissively. “Nothing to be done about that.”

Your skull felt heavy, threatening to smash into the desk in front of you. Something was off, something was out of place—

It took all your strength to not slide onto the desk, fists tightening on your lap. Reality and tiredness blurred into one. The man stood, and your eyes snapped open again, revealing hints of his now lighter hair.

“It’s not like elaborate tales were ever your strong suit, dove.” You knew that voice, trying so hard to keep your eyes open. Your hand flew to the desk, grabbing the edge to keep you upright. Through your half lined gaze you saw the - now halovian - man regard you.

His clothes were pristine as always, yours— not so much. He oh so lightly and gracefully lifted himself from the seat in all his damned might, hand on the wood as he took a step. “Can’t even do your job right, how..”

The halovians gloved hand held his chin, and he pretended to look for a word he already knew. “..utterly pathetic. The only thing you were good at was laying in soft cushions and being useless.

His voice carried a sense of mockery. Your elbow bent, having your upper body lean onto the desk. Your mouth opened, but no words came out. Sunday walked around the desk slowly, steadily approaching your side. His words felt like spoken through a blanket, everything so pleasant and fuzzy.

”But the charade is over, doll. You’re coming back to me.”

Sunday’s hand placed itself on your head, giving it an almost mocking pet, before everything went dark.

[shartletswritings]

Prove to me

Non-Canon one shot set within the You've Dug Your Own Grave story

TW: Smutttt and not much else Happy holidays!! I wanted to make you all a little, sinful, christmas present. I do hope you enjoy!! I wrote this like… immediately after writing the first chapter of YDYOG because I needed a break from all the angst I was about to write (and because I’m a whore). Thank you all for the endless support, I know I say it every time and I sound like a broken record, but it genuinely baffles me how many of y’all read my stories and engage with my content. All my love and enjoy!!

            You stand with your back to the kitchen door; your full attention is on the jars of tea in front of you. You’re beginning to believe that this is the hardest decision you have ever had to make: mint and licorice or chamomile? Absentmindedly you pull on your bottom lip with your fingers as you deliberate. Would a combination be bad? It can’t be that bad.

            It takes a few minutes of rummaging through various drawers to locate a steeper among the mess of utensils. “Found you, fucker,” you whisper to the ball of metal. You decide a scoop of each is appropriate for one mug. After pouring the water into your mug you plop the steeper unceremoniously into the water, a small splash lapping over the rim.

            You spin on your heels to look for a snack to take back with you to your room when you notice that the lights on the far end of the kitchen have been switched off. Another black out? We just had one the other night. You sigh, you’ll be out in a few minutes anyways and you have plenty of candles waiting in your room if the power does go out. You fill a small bowl with some corn-puffed snack sitting on a far corner and put it on a tray next to the mug. You smile at the paint on the side which had been done by Aster a few weeks back. The memory of her chubby little hands smudging greens and purples onto the previously gray surface.

            Another noise catches your attention; something slams close behind you and you whip around but only see the door to the mess hall hanging open slightly. It must be the wind. You chide yourself for being so nervous. Just as you are about to pick the tray up and leave when the hair on the back of your neck stands up. This time you are certain someone is behind you, which is odd because you don’t remember hearing someone come in.

            You start to turn slowly when a low, harsh voice bites out, “Don’t.”

            You let out the anxious breath you were holding, a smile spreading on your face, “Scar, you scared the sh-”

            You are cut off by a hand clapping down on your mouth. He shifts slightly behind you, and you suddenly feel his breath, hot and deep in your ear, “You’re lucky it’s me here, Kir,” the bite in his voice sends a shiver down your spine, “what have I told you about letting your guard down?”

            He releases his hand just enough for you to speak, “I can handle myself. We’ve talked about this,” you put your hands down on the counter in front of you, bristling at his need to protect you.

            “We have,” his breath still tickles your ear, “and yet I was able to get all the to you before you even realized I was in the building.”

            “That’s not fair, you’re quieter than most people. And besides, I’d sense their… aura or something; I’d know if there was someone out to get me.”

            “You aren’t nearly as funny as you think you are,” Scar sounds unamused and you can’t really blame him, it wasn’t the smartest thing to say.

            You go to turn towards him again but his hand clamps down on your jaw to keep your head forward, claws pressing into the soft skin of your cheeks. “If you don’t want me to coddle you, prove to me you can handle yourself,” he all but growls, “I’ll give you a two-minute head start… now run.”

            It takes you a few seconds to process what he says before it clicks. It takes you a few more seconds to decide whether or not to indulge him; on the one hand you don’t need his damn oversight on your safety, you sure as hell aren’t weak or incapable. But on the other hand… it is really fucking hot.

            The pressure that had been gradually building in the pit of your belly finally snaps and you feel electric. As if sensing the change in your chemistry, Scar releases your jaw and takes a step back, giving you the room needed to bolt.

            The darkness filling the empty kitchen makes your escape more difficult than it should be, but something inherent in your blood directs you back out into the courtyard of the hideout. Dust kicks up under your boots and the only light available to you comes from windows with half-drawn blinds. Figuring out where to go is the hardest part; you know that the first spots to pop into your mind are undoubtedly what Scar will also think of. Any place shrouded in complete darkness is marked off immediately on your imaginary list due to his godsdamned eyes which eliminates about half of the places you could reasonably get to in the constricting two minutes he’s given you. Your hoverboard is also inaccessible from where it sits back in your quarters which means you’ll need to find somewhere to hide in the base and fast.

            You turn towards the tree, scrambling up the scaffolding of the mural and onto the balcony of Ekko’s workshop. Mercifully, it is both empty and unlocked. You slip inside, crouch under one of the tables, and wait. It’s dark in here, sure, but there is enough of a glow from the courtyard that you can make out everything in the room with some sense of clarity; at least he won’t be able to sneak up on you.

            Your skin feels electric and every sound has you jumping. The fear is primal, something innate within your core. You’re not scared of Scar of course, but right now you’re fucking terrified and it’s exhilarating. It’s hard to tell how long you’ve been waiting. Five minutes? Ten? Time passes strangely.

            The door opens slowly and for a moment you don’t think it’s Scar with how gentle the nob turns, but the second you see the toe of his boot your heart leaps into your throat. You stick a hand over your mouth to try and muffle your breathing as you press yourself further back into the shadows under the table. He takes a few more steps into the room, turning his head, searching for you.

            You let loose the breath you had been holding as he turns, thinking he’s finally leaving, when he whips his head back around at the sound. “I know you’re in here, Kirranari.” Damn it all. You realistically have about five seconds before he pinpoints your location under the table. It takes you three to make a decision. Sure, you could run again, but where’s the fun in that?

            You rocket out from your hiding spot and rush him, slamming your weight into his chest. He stumbles back and into a wall, thankfully missing the shelf of Ekko’s glass scientific instruments. He lets out a low oof and looks down at you and your forearm pressed into his chest, almost impressed and you feel a rush of pride despite yourself.

            The moment is ruined by his clawed hands wrapping around your wrist and twisting you around to slam you into the wall. His chest presses against your back and your face smushes into the wooden wall. “Not good enough, Kir,” his voice rumbles deeply against your body and a new wave of heat flushes through you. He must know what he’s doing. From the way his breath puffs hot against your ear, you can tell he knows exactly what he’s doing. Asshole.

            With a huff, you drop low despite the wall scraping against your face and push yourself back under his legs. Before he can react, you jump up behind him and clammer onto his back. He bucks like a wild animal, but the bruising grip of your arms around his neck and legs around his chest keeps him from throwing you off. A knife slips down from your sleeve, and you allow the glint of the metal to catch in the faint light from the window. The blade is pointed away from him, but he can see that you weren’t unarmed, even in the relative safety of the hideout.

            You bring your mouth down to his ear, “Still think I can’t handle myself?” He stills for a moment, a snarl forming on his face, and you fight the urge to smile. With a quick nip to his ear you drop back to the ground, leaving him motionless for another second before he spins back towards you, his face a mix of lust and aggravation.

            “You got lucky,” he looks down at you, and you have to fight the urge to cower under his gaze. You aren’t afraid of him, of course, but you haven’t gotten this far in the undercity without a healthy amount of innate caution.

            “Right. Cuz it’d kill you to say that I did something correctly.” He opens his mouth to protest but before he can say anything, you sweep a leg towards his knees. Not expecting the blow, his knees buckle, and he crashes to the ground under his own weight.

            Unfortunately, before you can get a healthy amount of gloating out, you feel an arm wrap around your wrist to pull you down on top of him. He pins your arms to the ground, forcing you to lean over his head. You pant as you stare down at his blown-out pupils, “I only let you do that cuz you’re hot. Just so ya know. If you were anyone else, it’d be a different story.”

            He looks up at you in silence, the ghost of a smile lingering on his lips. Suddenly, claws make their way into your hair and pull, bringing your face up to his. Your lips only meet for a moment before his tongue presses its way into your mouth. He pulls back for a moment, “Would you let anyone else do this?” His voice is slightly hoarse, thick with lust.

            You hum thoughtfully, “Who’s to say really. I have such a hard time making up my mind, but I can think of a few I’d let kiss me.” You’re taunting him, you’re absolutely aware of that. But the dark, fierce eyes he looks at you with twinge something deep in your gut and you find yourself unable to stop. “Maybe if Ekko or Jordyn asked me nicel-”

            He growls and flips your bodies to cut you off, pinning you under his weight. “Sounds like I’m not doing enough to keep you around, then.” You grin mischievously, “It sounds like I need to remind you how much you mean to me.” He grabs one of your hands and reaches it down to cup the growing bulge in his pants and your breath catches in your throat. It’s his turn to grin as he lowers his mouth to your neck, assaulting it with nips kisses.

            You arch your back into his chest, a breathy moan ripping through your throat. “You think I’d be doing this for anyone else?” he asks, his lips attacking the skin where your neck meets your shoulder. He bites down when you don’t answer, “I asked you a question,” he chastises with a shockingly level voice against your pathetic cry.

            “N-no,” you breath into the darkness of the room and you can feel him smile against your skin. How does he always manage to reduce me to an incoherent mess, you think distantly as you struggle aimlessly against his weight.

            His hand releases your wrists and pushes the hem of your shirt up to your collarbone, tugging the band around your breasts down to lay loosely around your stomach. Painfully slowly, his lips make their way towards the hardened peaks of your nipples, but he doesn’t touch them directly. Instead, he focuses his attention on the soft skin of your breasts, eliciting a cry of frustration from your lips. You can feel the bastard smile against your skin again and you begin to get impatient. Bringing your free hand to his hair you pull, forcing his head to angle towards you.

            His top lip curls into a sneer as he is ripped away from his efforts at teasing you, you smile innocently at him. In a burst of movement you slither out from under him once more and hop to your feet, pulling your shirt back down to cover your chest. He looks up at you for a moment, still kneeling on the floor. “Did you think the game was done?” you ask, sweetly.

            Before he has even brought himself to his feet, you are already halfway to Ekko’s balcony. You pause for an instant to glance back behind you to lay eyes on a very angry looking Scar. Electricity pulses through you once more as you swing down from the balcony and onto the ground of the courtyard. A few moments later, you hear the heavy thud of Scar’s boots hitting the ground behind you. A terrified laugh rips from your chest as you take off in a sprint towards the gym.

            You make it nearly the entire way there before Scar tackles you from behind, sending the two of you tumbling towards the floor of the hallway. He pants hard in your ears, “There’s the rat I know.” You pause for a moment at his use of your nickname in your own tongue and he chuckles over you. He crushes down harder on top of you as you work to wriggle out of his grasp and into the gym like you had planned. “You think I’d let you get away again?”

            His threat sends blood flow exactly where you don’t need it, and you find yourself unable to come up with a useful escape plan. Nearly his entire weight is pressing you down onto the ground below with his hands wrapped securely around your upper arms and you can feel the weight of his hardened cock against your ass.

            “You’re pressing into my arms, Scar, it hurts,” you cry out breathlessly. He lets up immediately, mumbling an apology. You push yourself up and back into a run towards the gym, yelling to him over your shoulder, “You’re too fucking gullible.”

            He tackles you again almost as soon as you burst through the door, this time on a mat, and hisses into your ear, “You’re beginning to test my patience, Kir.” Before you can even react, he is yanking your pants down below your hips, “such a fucking tease,” he mumbles, an animalistic strength coursing through his veins.

            You arch your ass closer to his face, “I’m just doing what you asked,” you reply as innocently as possible.

            He growls and yanks your underwear down to lay with your pants at your ankles, one hand still pressed firmly against the small of your back. Fingers trail down to the wet heat of your slit, “Soaked already? You like being chased?” He rubs a finger against your throbbing clit, and you press your face to the mat below you to muffle your mewls of pleasure. “Fuck… you like being hunted down, don’t you?” You feel primal. You feel terrified. You feel fucking amazing.

            Lifting your head just enough, you answer him with a pathetic sounding whimper, “mmm-yes.” You cry out again in dismay as he removes his hand from your cunt. He shifts behind you and the squelch of his hand working your slick up and down the length of his dick fills the room. You arch you ass higher, desperate to be filled, and he only laughs.

            “That needy?” He presses the tip slowly into you and you sigh. Unfortunately, the bastard has other plans and quickly pulls back out and rocks his slick covered cock between your ass cheeks. You mumble incoherently and he laughs again, “Not so funny when you’re the one being teased, is it?”

            “S’not the same,” you mutter, one cheek squished against the mat distorting your words.

            He grabs a fistful of your hair and pulls, lifting your head up from the ground slightly. “I can’t understand you when you whine like that. Why don’t you tell me what you need?” If you could glare, you would probably be lighting the room on fire with the intensity of your frustration, unfortunately all you can do is cry out at the lack of stimulation where you need him most. “I can’t hear you, Kir, what is you want?”

            This asshole is gonna make me say it? “Wan’… fuck… m,’” is all you manage. Jannah I’m pathetic.

            He adjusts himself ever so slightly so he can rub his cock against your clit, coating it further in your wetness, “You gotta give me more than that,” he whispers into your ear before nipping at the cartilage. Fuck if he keeps going like that… Another yank on your hair pulls your attention back to the present.

            Sucking in a breath, you finally say, “Fuck me, please…”

            It’s all he needs to hear to sheathe himself within you completely in one stroke. Your breath catches in your throat as you nearly choke at the complete fullness… the deliciously painful stretch of your cunt around him. Your legs are still pressed together by your pants and his weight bears down on you as he fucks you into the mat, making you tighter than normal. From the ragged breathing in your ear, you aren’t the only one affected by the position, which brings some amount of triumph to your cock-drunk brain.

            A hand wraps around your hips to pull your ass higher, crushing your head farther into the ground and rendering you almost completely immobile. All you can do is fucking take it as he bottoms out into your needy cunt, squeezing helplessly around his dick. You manage to cry his name desperately, the sound mixing with the squelch of your wetness and the clap of his hips meeting your ass.

            His forehead drops to your shoulder, and you can feel the heat of his breath on your naked skin. A distant, far away voice in your head tells you to be a bit more weary of the fact literally anyone could walk in and see the two of you, but teeth sinking into the flesh of your neck cleanses the last shreds of logical thought from your mind.

            “F-fuck you’re so tight,” he bites out in between thrusts, “you like this? You like being fucked on the ground?” All you can do is cry out and clench harder around him. “Gonna split my cock in half,” he warns into your ear, but you can’t help it.

            “M-more, please,” you murmur into the floor, praying he could hear you over the noise your bodies make.

            Scar laughs breathlessly over you, “Never satisfied, are you?”

            The hand that had been tangled into your hair travels down your back and onto your other hip, pulling you up to your knees. Your arms lay uselessly on the ground and you turn your head to see Scar as he thrusts into you from behind. Between your legs, you can make out the wet form of his cock in the darkness as it hammers into your greedy hole, pants pulled down below his waist just enough to free himself. His brows furrowed in concentration and eyes dark with lust pull your attention from the movement of his body.

            Your once wet mouth goes dry at the sight of how seriously he takes your pleasure. Almost like he loves m-. He catches your eye and smirks, bringing a hand around to press into your throbbing clit and you turn your head back to the mat to muffle the sounds of your cries.

            “You gonna cum for me? Huh?” He digs his claws into your hips, and you begin to twitch.

            “Yes!” you’re barely audible, but from the way he grips you, you can tell he heard you well enough.

            It doesn’t take long for you to finish; the pressure of his finger on your clit, the unforgiving rhythm of his hips, the sound of his barely silenced groans of pleasure, it all becomes too much. When you do shatter, it’s nearly world ending. Tearing a hand up, you desperately attempt to cover the sound of your screams as your legs shake and finally give out.

            “Just like that… T-that’s my girl.”

            You collapse down to the floor and clamp down on his cock like a vice. He stutters for a moment but resumes his thrusts to fuck you in your now prone posture through the waves of pleasure.

            His own release comes soon after and you can practically feel the pressure building deep in his gut. He presses a hand to the top of your back, anchoring you to the floor as he chases his own pleasure. The only signal he gives you is a shout that sounds almost like your name before he pulls out. You feel him spilling onto your back, painting the soft skin with ropes of thick, hot cum. His head drops back to your shoulder, and he stills, panting, arched above your still twitching form.

            After what feels like ages of comfortable silence, he finally presses a kiss to your neck, tongue smoothing the swiftly reddening marks in the unmistakable shape of his teeth.

            “You take me so well, always so good for me,” he whispers against your skin. Pulling his tank over his head, he begins to mop up the puddle of cum on your pack; pressing gentle kisses into your back as he cleans you up, murmuring your praise the whole time. Once he is satisfied that you are taken care of, he tucks himself back into his pants.

            Just as you gather the strength to pull yourself up from the floor, the door to the gym opens. Your eyes go wide as they meet with Geo’s and you squeal, hands moving to cover your chest.

            “What the fuck?” He asks, his face going red and a hand shooting up to cover his eyes. Scar whips his head around to glare at the unfortunate man. “Are you kidding me? You’re… here?” His voice is about two octaves higher than normal.

            “Get out,” Scar growls and you fight the urge to slap him. The two of you are so obviously in the wrong here it hurts. You wriggle your pants over your hips and hop to your feet.

            “Don’t. We’re leaving,” you grab Scar by the hand and march out of the room, too horrified to look Geo in the eyes. He mumbles something at the two of you but you’re already halfway down the hallway.

            “Fucking asshole,” Scar mutters, his cum-soaked shirt balled in one fist. You wheel around on your heels to glare up at him.

            “We were the problem there,” you retort, a hand going to your hip.

            “He coulda knocked.”

            “We were fucking in the gym! What were we thinking?” You run an exasperated hand down your face, “What the hell are you doing to me, Scar?” He looks hurt for a moment, brow furrowing in concern. You roll your eyes and press a finger into his bare chest, “I am not the kinda girl that fucks people in public, and yet you have turned me into this horny…” you search for the right word, “monster!”

            His worried expression cracks into a smug grin, “You’re the one that ran to the gym. We coulda stayed in the workshop.”

            You let out an exasperated noise, “And have Ekko walk in on us? No fucking way. Geo is one thing, but him? I’d rather die!”

            He shrugs shamelessly, “Guess we can just go back to your room then.”

            Your eyes widen as you shoot him a dubious look, “Back…more?”

            His smile is all sharp teeth as he picks you up and throws you over his shoulder, a hand resting on your ass, and takes off towards your quarters, “You thought we were done? I’m just gettin started, Kir.”      

Tag List: @kiannaf @awenthealchemist @calciferthelivingfire @bakugokatsuki18-blog @ariwolfsstuff @mcaats  @radflapkidsludge @honeym0chi @veggiesoupdumpling @vicki--mouse  @im-jasmine @bearinthesnow

[joelalorian]

A Question and a Promise - a Tides of Desire Christmas one shot

YachtCaptain!Joel x f!reader | wc: 2.6k

*mood board by the lovely @janaispunk. divider by the equally lovely @saradika-graphics

Summary: You and Joel celebrate your first Christmas as a couple with a winter getaway and an important question.

A/N: This is set in the Tides of Desire universe and takes place after the epilogue. You can read the entire series here: Series Masterlist. Dedicated to the wonderful @lillaydee :) Hope you enjoy!

Chapter warnings: 18+ MDNI. Fluff, lil' bit of smut, unprotected p in v (they're in a committed relationship). No use of y/n, though reader is of British descent and has the nickname Brit (used once here).

Joel Miller was used to the steady rhythm of the sea—the lapping of waves against the hull, the salt-heavy air, the hum of the yacht beneath his feet. But as he guided his pickup truck along a winding mountain road, the sight of snow-dusted evergreens and the crisp alpine air brought a different kind of peace. He glanced at you in the passenger seat, face alight with wonder as you took in the winter wonderland outside the frosted window.

“I’ve never seen anything like this,” you said, lingering British accent soft but tinged with excitement. “We didn’t have snow like this where I grew up. It’s bloody magical.”

Joel’s lips quirked in a small smile. “Thought you might like it. Wanted to do somethin’ special for our first Christmas together.”

You reached over, lacing your fingers with his. “You’ve outdone yourself, Captain Miller.”

“That’s the plan, darlin’,” Joel replied, warmth spreading in his chest at the sight of your smile.

The drive continued in companionable quiet, broken by your occasional exclamations when the landscape revealed something particularly breathtaking. As Joel turned the final bend, the chalet came into view, nestled at the edge of a frozen lake like something out of a snow globe. Smoke puffed lazily from the stone chimney, and the sight of the pine trees heavy with fresh snow made you gasp.

“Joel, it’s perfect,” you breathed before practically pressing your nose to the window, warm breath fogging the glass.

He chuckled, pulling the truck into the freshly plowed driveway. “Wait ‘til you see inside.”

The cabin’s interior was just as charming. Your delighted laughter echoed as you discovered the wood-burning fireplace and the enormous Christmas tree already set up in the corner, twinkling with warm lights and simple ornaments. Joel brought in the bags, shaking off snow from his boots before stepping inside to find you twirling in the middle of the room, a warm throw blanket wrapped around you.

“You really planned everything, didn’t you?” you teased with sparkling eyes, lifting the bottle of champagne from the ice bucket next to the couch.

“Had a little help from Tommy. He knows someone who owns the place,” Joel admitted, setting the bags down. “Figured you deserved a proper Christmas.”

Your arms wrapped around his waist, and you looked up at him. “This is perfect, Joel. Thank you. It reminds me of my grandpa’s cottage by the sea, only colder and way posher.”

“You’re worth it,” he murmured, brushing his lips over your forehead. He fiddled with a retro record player before moving the luggage to the main room as Frank Sinatra crooned in the background. Tommy made sure the place was fully stocked with anything the two of you might need.

It was a long drive from Austin and, weary from the hours of travel, he sat on the couch and tugged you closer until you were sprawled on his lap. “That’s better,” his voice rumbled from deep in his chest and you laughed.

“Best seat in the house,” you concurred.

The pair of you stayed like that, sharing gentle touches and quiet conversation as the roaring fire warmed your bodies until you both slipped into sleep. At some point, Joel woke to find the fire dying in the hearth and he carried you to the main bedroom, tucking your sleeping form beneath the thick covers before climbing in beside you.

He still couldn’t believe this was his life, that you were his. It felt like he knew you his whole life while at the same time every day was a new experience, a new first you shared. The connection between you left him in awe and he fell back to sleep with deep affection and love for you in his heart and on his mind.

You woke first the next morning, excitement palpable as you peeked out the bedroom window to take in the landscape. The lake was frozen solid, a section already cleared of snow and perfect for some ice skating, a little bench placed right next to it. There was a hill to the north, perfect for sledding, and an area right behind the chalet with a snowbank just begging to be dug into to make snowmen.

The child inside you bounced with excitement, eager to get started on all the winter activities you didn’t have much opportunity to do when you were young.

“What’re you so giddy about?”  Joel asked, sitting up in bed, the covers falling to reveal the tanned skin of his bare chest to your hungry eyes.

“I’ve never had a real snow day before,” you replied. You climbed back onto the bed, body hovering over Joel’s as you pressed a kiss to his pouty lips. “I’m ready for all of it: snow angels, snowball fights, building a snowman—the works!”

“Alright, alright,” Joel said, laughing as he swatted at your ass. “We’ll do all the things. But first, come here.” He pulled you back in for a lingering kiss and your body flattened against his. The swell of his morning wood pressed warm and thick against your thigh, alighting a fire in the depths of your belly.

“Mmm, good morning, handsome,” you purred between kisses, shifting your hips to rub against him. Joel moaned into your mouth deliciously, thick fingers grasping at your ass to guide your movements.

“You’re wearing too many clothes, baby,” he whined. “I need to feel you.” He pawed at your sleep pants, pulling them down your legs and getting frustrated when your panties didn’t come with them. Joel slipped his thumbs beneath the fabric of your panties and yanked, ripping them clean off your hips.

“Joel!” you shrieked. “You have to stop tearing apart my knickers!”

“They’re always in my way,” he grumbled in defense, knowing that it was becoming a habit. “I’ll buy you more, I promise. Maybe some of them edible ones.” Joel wiggled his eyebrows playfully before flipping you over to hover above you like a hungry wolf. Shifting down your body, he proceeded to devour you like one, too.

He left you a gasping, trembling mess of pleasure before finally slipping inside you, the bare skin of your overheated bodies pressed together as he moved his hips. Joel kissed every bit of your face, neck, and chest he could reach with ease, sucking first one then the other nipple into his mouth, biting down with a sharp nip just to hear you scream as bolts of pleasure shot straight to your core.

With his cock hitting that perfect, hidden place inside you at just the right pace, you came apart like putty in his hands, his name a siren song falling from your lips.

“Fuck, baby,” he hissed against your lips, foreheads pressed together as he worked you through it. “You’re squeezing me so tight. I’m gonna come, fuck.” Joel’s hips faltered in their rhythm, a whine falling from his lips as he hit his peak.

You ran your hands through his hair, sweat-slick skin sticking together when he stopped moving. “I love you,” you breathed in his ear as he buried his face in your neck.

It took a few minutes, but Joel finally replied when he regained the ability to breathe. “I love you more, sweetheart.” He shifted the bulk of his weight off you, pulling you close to remain pressed against him as the pair of you slipped into a light, mid-morning slumber.

“Just don’t throw the first snowball at my head.”

Oh, you absolutely threw the first snowball at his head. He should have known better.

“You’re gonna pay for that, missy,” Joel growled, scooping up a handful of snow and packing it into a solid sphere. You shrieked, diving behind a tree as he launched it, missing you by mere inches. “You’re lucky my aim ain’t what it used to be, darlin’.”

He helped you bundle up into layers of borrowed winter gear after your nap, eager to give you the full white Christmas experience. You quickly found yourselves in calf deep snow, forming perfect snowballs in your gloved hands before the barrage started. Joel declared surrender after you pelted him with two snowballs to the face, the remnants left glistening in his beard as you belly laughed.

You built a snowman next, complete with a scarf, twigs for arms, and an old carrot Joel found in the kitchen. You giggled uncontrollably as you argued about the “artistic placement” of its nose.

“It’s ghastly! His nose it too crooked!” you protested, trying to fix it while Joel held the snowman’s head steady.

“It gives ‘im character,” Joel countered, grinning at your indignation.

“This isn’t a Picasso, Joel!” you teased. “We need to make him perfect.”

And perfect it was, your first full-size snowman. Joel took pictures of you standing proudly next to your creation, joining you for one as he kissed your icy cheek.

Later, after taking a break for hot cocoa, you laced up ice skates, Joel’s protests about his lack of skill falling on deaf ears. “Just hold my hand,” you said, tone both teasing and reassuring.

“Why would I do that? You’re not gonna be any better than me!” Joel huffed a laugh knowing you were as inexperienced as him when it came to winter sports.

You both wobbled but managed to stay upright, your hands reaching for each other instinctually, his grip firm as you glided across the frozen lake. Your laughter rang out when he nearly toppled, and in your distraction, you lost your own balance, sending you both sprawling onto the ice in a heap.

“Alright, you win,” Joel huffed, chuckling as he brushed snow from your hair.

“I always do,” you teased, pressing a kiss to his lips, neither of you ready to get up and try again.

The day was magical, Joel made sure of it. He gave you everything you could have wanted in a wintery adventure worthy of a Hallmark movie.

Before you knew it, the sun dipped low, painting the sky in shades of pink as Joel led you back to the warmth of the cabin. He stoked the fire while you prepared some more hot cocoa, complete with whipped cream and a sprinkle of cinnamon. You both settled on the couch, wrapped in a shared blanket, the flickering flames casting golden light over the room.

“This is my favorite part of Christmas,” you said with a soft voice. “Just being cozy and spending time with the people I care about.”

Joel’s hand tightened around yours. “Mine too. Been a long time since I had somethin’ like this.”

You gazed up at him, eyes searching his face. “You’ve given so much to Sarah and Tommy. I’m glad you’re letting yourself have this now.”

Joel’s throat tightened, emotion welling up in his burnt umber eyes as he met your gaze. “Didn’t think I’d find this kind of happiness, ever,” he admitted. “Then you came along, darlin’, and turned my world upside down.”

You leant up to kiss him, sealing the love in your heart against his lips. “You deserve all the happiness in the world, Joel. And I’ll spend the rest of my life proving it to you.”

Christmas eve morning arrived with a soft snowfall, the world outside the cabin quiet and serene. You woke to the smell of freshly brewed coffee and the sight of Joel setting a tray of breakfast on the small table by the tree.

“Merry Christmas Eve, baby,” he said, his voice thick with affection. You sat together, sipping coffee and eating breakfast in front of the fire. It was so different from your normal lives yet so perfect to be in this snow globe-like place together.

You would be leaving later to make it back to Austin in time to celebrate Christmas Day with Sarah and the rest of the family. Despite Joel saying it was ok to celebrate with Sarah another day, you insisted that father and daughter had to be together on Christmas. You never wanted to get in the way of their traditions.

To make this little getaway special for you, Joel insisted you exchanged a small gift with each other while there. You sat on a pile of blankets on the floor in front of the tree, the strings of lights fading between white and bright colors as the fire burning in the hearth kept you both warm.  

Joel held two small, delicately wrapped boxes in his large hands. He handed one to you, his right hand gripping the other one tightly, unwilling to let it go just yet. Your eyes filled with tears when you unwrapped a beautiful silver necklace adorned with a charm in the shape of a compass rose, your and Joel’s names engraved in the due north direction.

“So you always know where home is,” Joel explained, his voice low and gravelly with emotion.

Your hands trembled as you held up the necklace to admire it. After a few minutes, Joel reached out, grasping the necklace as you held your hair out of the way and fastened it around your slender neck. “Joel, it’s beautiful. Thank you.”

You offered a neatly wrapped parcel to him and watched as he unwrapped it to reveal a leather-bound journal, its pages embossed with nautical patterns. “For the safekeeping of all your thoughts and adventures,” you said, smiling at the recently discovered knowledge that he liked to jot down ideas and experiences on random slips of paper, claiming it helped him process his thoughts. “I thought you might want to write a book one day. You certainly have the stories to tell for one.”

Joel’s expression softened as he traced the journal’s spine, admiring his initials inscribed in cursive there. “I love it. Thank you, sweetheart.” You shared a kiss, another one of the many shared on this lovely getaway. When you pulled away, he slipped the other small box into your hand. “I have another one for you – it’s not so much a gift as a question… and a promise.”

Curious, you tore into the wrapping, clawing at the intricate bow in your haste. An even smaller, velvet box sat inside, and your gaze shot upwards in a question. “Is this what I think it is?”

Joel merely shrugged, a pleased smirk tilting his lips. “You’ll have to open it to see.”

You did just that, a gasp escaping your lips at the teardrop diamond ring nestled within.

“Brit, you have opened my heart and changed my life. I was told this cut essentially symbolizes tears of joy and the woman who wears such a cut is said to be confident and fierce,” Joel explained as tears fell from your bright eyes. “I can’t think of a more fitting description of you. Would you marry me, baby?”

Words failed you as happy tears streamed down your face, overwhelmed by the sheer love flowing within your veins for this man. With a nod, you threw yourself into Joel’s arms, a watery laugh bubbling from within as you clutched him close.

“I take it that’s a yes?” he teased as his strong arms wrapped tighter around you. “Here, let me put it on your pretty little finger.”

You stared in awe as he did just that, the diamond sparkling in it’s platinum setting. “It’s bloody brilliant, Joel. I’ve never seen anything so beautiful. I can’t wait to show the girls!”

Despite knowing you needed to get on the road soon, the two of you cuddled there on the floor in front of tree, watching the fire dance in the hearth and occasionally admiring the beautiful ring Joel gave you with all his heart.

“You’ve made this the best Christmas I’ve ever had,” you whispered.

“Only the first of many, darlin’,” Joel murmured, pressing a kiss to your temple. “I promise you that.”