#session: town of twilight

[zephyr-draws]

the healers are fightinggg

[snapscube]

Maybe I missed the explanation but im a little confused about kh2 timeline. Am I right in thinking originally you played towards the end of twilight town and the playthrough now was recorded very recently? (also yippee I'm so excited its finally here!)

Joy and I attempted to start the KH2 let's play years ago basically right after finishing KH1. I watched the CoM cutscenes and we recorded up to a certain point in KH2 that will become very clear once we hit it in the new LP cause I literally say "I have not seen anything past this point", but at the time we found it weirdly difficult to find a chance to record again after that first session. Then after enough time it became obvious that starting from where we left off would become extremely awkward so we'd have to wait until we had a chance to start fresh. The current LP we're releasing, the one that features Mar as an additional commentator, started recording less than two weeks ago at the time of writing.

[back2thebasics]

Charlie Swan x Fem Reader - Target Practice

Hopefully you guys like it! It's my first time trying to write Twilight fanfic but I had lots of fun writing this so I would be down to make more in the future if there is an interest.

Charlie Swan X Fem Reader- Target Practice -

Summary: You work as a Private Investigator. You first met Charlie at a gun range and ever since you saw him for the first time, you can't stop thinking about him. He notices you right away, not being able to keep his eyes off of you, intrigued by you. One day, he finally musters up the courage to approach you and start a conversation.

Content: 18+, MDNI, sexual content, guns, oral sex, public sex, age gap, 

WordCount: 4k

You had moved to Forks recently from a big city, looking for an escape from your stressful job as a private investigator. You had covered anything from cheating to much darker things that you were trying to forget about. You needed some time off, so you decided to switch things up and move to the small town of Forks, Washington. Not long after arriving, you discovered through a local newspaper that there was a gun range a few minutes out of town. The first time you shot a gun was for your weapon training course. It surprised you how easily you took to it and how you somewhat enjoyed the experience. The small rush of adrenaline and the focus required made your blood rush and made you feel alive. Luckily, you never required a gun for work, but you always kept one hidden in the glove box of your blacked out Mustang. The first time you went to the gun range, you had just wanted to check it out, but once there you felt stupid turning around. You entered the old looking concrete building, which almost looked like an old prison but smaller. You could already hear the loud gunshots, slightly muffled through the front door. 

Once inside, you went up to the front desk, which doubled as a large gun locker. The old man leaning back in an old wooden chair polished a gun looking up at you. He put the rifle down and stood to greet you. You pay the admission fee and the rounds of ammo and you, as you enter the second section of the range where the targets are, you feel the old man's stare. He probably knows every single customer, but you are new here and also the only woman in sight. You feel pairs of eyes on you as you go to your assigned booth at the very back. That's when you see Charlie for the first time. He is in the booth right next to yours, his focus remaining on the target ahead. You find him handsome from first sight. He was just your type. A little older, rugged, strong looking, with a full head of dark hair and a nicely trimmed mustache. He seemed quiet, observant, but discreet. You caught him glancing your way as you settled in your own booth at the very back. As you prepped your gun, you felt his eyes on you again, lingering, but not constantly. During your first visit to the shooting range, he stayed silent but sneaked intrigued glances towards you when he thought you wouldn't to notice. You had good aim the first visit despite being a little rusty. His was near perfect, you noticed. He pulled the trigger like it was breathing to him, never straying too far from his intended target. He also looked detached a little while he shot round after round like he did this every Sunday. Did he? You thought to yourself. It was only on your way out that first night that you noticed a patch on his jacket telling you he was a cop and the chief of police of Forks. 

The following two weekends, you made the trip to the gun range to shoot a few rounds, and you saw Charlie there each time. He seemed to allow himself to look at you more and more each visit, his gaze lingering longer than before. Then one day, he finally broke the silence at the end of a session. 

“Where you from anyway? Ive never seen you around?” He asked as you were taking a break. You pushed back the large noise canceling headphones that you wore while shooting. 

“I just moved here about a month ago. I’m from Seattle.” You explained, happy that he finally spoke to you. 

“Ah, that explains it. If you don't mind me asking, how did you learn to shoot like that?” He asked, arching a brow slightly. The sight made you hold in a giggle. 

“I'm a Private Investigator so the training came with the job but I ended up enjoying it so now I do it as a way to unwind, I guess.” You told him, looking up into his dark eyes. He nodded, as if finally able to solve the puzzle he’d been constructing in his head.

“Well, I have to say after me you might be the best shot in this town.” He chuckled softly, and the praise made your stomach do flips. You didn't think a random man’s opinion would mean so much to you, but you cared about what he thought of you. 

“Well Chief, thank you. My name is Y/N.” You stuck out your hand for a handshake, not yet knowing his name.

“Please call me Charlie.” He shook your hand, giving you a warm smile. His touch lingering slightly on your smaller hand. His hand slightly calloused and rough felt warm in your grip. You both pulled away and went back to your own thing. He kept shooting a few rounds. You found yourself simply watching him for the rest of the session. 

A few months later…

After settling in fully into the Forks' lifestyle, you noticed a few things. Charlie was everywhere, and everyone in town knew and respected him. He was also a very quiet, reserved man who was impossible to read at times. You always felt nervous talking to him for some reason despite his trustworthy reputation as the town's hero. You were sitting in the only bar in town. You rarely went out for drinks, but tonight you sat on a high stool dressed in a nice black jumpsuit. You took the time to do your hair and apply a little makeup, which was a rare sight. While you were lost in thought, a person suddenly occupied the empty seat next to you.

“Fancy seeing you here.” Charlie sat with an ease that made you think this was his usual spot. You flashed him a smile that he returned.

“Yeah, what are the odds?” You joked back, knowing it was the only bar around for miles. 

“You come here often?” You add in teasing him.

“Probably more than I should.” He joked back and gave the bartender a little signal. A few minutes later, a tall draft beer sat in front of him. Your cocktail sat half empty as you nursed it, taking your time to make sure you could still drive home after. The two of you sat and talked for a while, the time slipping by as easy conversation flowed effortlessly. 

“I have this cabin up in the mountains with an outdoor practice range. I usually go up there with my buddies during hunting season, but I was wondering if you'd maybe want to go there to shoot. I mean you don't have to but if it interests you, I could um.. take you.” He seemed to get flustered by the proposition. Was he asking you on a date? “Yeah, that sounds great. I'm free next weekend.” Your answer eased his antsy demeanor, and he settled back into the stool, smiling at you, pleased.

“Perfect then. Ill pick you up and we can go.” He confirmed and the thought of going on a weekend trip to his cabin excited you more than anything had in the past 2 months . 

The weekend came, and you felt like a teenager as you paced by your window waiting for his truck to pull into the driveway. The outfit you had spent hours debating was a functional but cute ensemble consisting of a pair of jeans, a black tank top paired with a soft Forrest green flannel, and a pair of lace up hiking boots. You heard the gravel crunch and then saw his truck slow to a stop. To your surprise, Charlie exited the truck and approached your front door. A loud but still polite knock sounded a few minutes later, and you had to stop yourself from running to the door like a love-struck teenager. Opening the door, you admired him for a moment. He had shaved, leaving only his signature mustache perfectly trimmed. He wore dark-colored jeans paired with a gray t-shirt and a faded leather jacket. He looked so handsome that you had to stop yourself from ogling too long and making things awkward.

“Ready to go?” He asked, flashing you a smile that almost took your breath away.

“Yeah, but I don't have a gun. Sorry, I forgot to mention that earlier.” You usually borrowed one from the range. 

"No worries, I got you covered." He replied, smirking. Walking back to his truck and you followed instinctively. He opened the hatch of his truck to reveal a black trunk of some sort. He pulled it towards him and unlatched the cover to reveal a whole arsenal of firearms, from pistols to rifles. 

There were loads of ammo and other things as well and you were relieved he came prepared. You were willing to simply watch him shoot if it had come to it. You climbed in the truck after Charlie held the door open for you. He drove the both of you into the mountains, the forest getting thicker the further you drove. You filled the silence with pleasant conversation. You couldn't remember feeling this comfortable with anyone on this level before meeting Charlie. He made you feel seen, safe and fuzzy inside. Like a warm roaring fire was slowly building within you every time you thought of him or saw him in town. Once you arrived at the cabin, he helped you out of the truck and gave you a quick tour of the property. He showed you around the little clearing where he had set up many targets of varying distances, sizes and difficulty. He seemed proud of his hard work as he walked you around, showing you all the little details he had thought of and engineered himself. He then brought you inside the cute little log cabin that had a small kitchen, bathroom and a single bedroom. The inside was decorated with memorabilia that had been collected over the years. The cabin had charm and you couldn't help but walk around appreciating all the little momentos that made the cabin feel alive. This place was Charlie's space and you could tell he had fun times here in the past with his friends. 

“Its so nice Charlie, wow.” You told him, admiring the little metal fireplace in the corner of the living room. He saw you looking and approached to start making a fire. “You like it?” He smiled, crouching down to add logs to the fireplace. 

“Yeah, I love it.” You replied, still finding more things to look at. Everything in here had a story behind it and you couldn't wait to ask him more about his different adventures. 

“We can take a little break and eat before we go out to shoot.” He lit the fire and then stood to cross the cabin over to the fridge.

“You brought food?” You asked confused, not remembering a cooler of any kind. He open the fridge door and the fridge was fully stocked.

“I came up here yesterday to make sure we had food and other supplies we might need.” He pulled out a few things, placing them on the counter and closing the door once more. The thought of him going through all this effort for you made your belly warm and a rush of butterflies to flutter around. There was a tension in the air but it wasn't the bad kind. You went to his side to help him prepare the food. You made some steak and potatoes along with some steamed green beans. 

“My daughter showed me how to cook. Without her I would still be eating tv dinners every night.” He laughed to himself, draining the boiling water from the potatoes carefully.

“You have a daughter? I didn't know.” There were still a few things you wanted to know about him and you were curious to learn more.

“Yeah, Bella, she doesn't live with me anymore. She has a husband Edward and they live together with their daughter, Renesmee. I go visit them as much as I can nowadays.” He seemed wistful but the love that shined in his eyes made it clear the level of affection he held for his daughter and her family. 

“Hopefully, I can meet her one day.” You smiled at him warmly.

“Yeah, that would be nice.” He agreed, looking into your eyes, his dark pupils flaring slightly. He looked away, going back to preparing the food. Once you were both done, you sat and ate in a peaceful silence. Then it was time for some fun.

You fired round after round, enjoying the rare sunshine that made the day even more special. You had friendly competitions with Charlie, who liked to tease that you were cheating by distracting him. In the end you won fair and square and you celebrated by opening a beer and sitting tother in the clearing on a large fallen log. He smiled at you as you took a sip of your beer. You were a little sweaty, your hair clung to the back of your neck from the beaming heat of the sun. Charlie seemed lost in thought, so you broke the silence first.

“What are you thinking about?” You asked softly.

“I can't remember the last time I was this happy.” He said simply, and the words flared something inside you like the fire that was building before it came to a roar suddenly. It gave you the confidence you needed to say the words that had been on your mind for the past month.

“I like you Charlie.” The words came out in a single breath, softly spoken, making you feel vulnerable.

“You do?” He asked, looking at you with a fierce look of longing. His question seemed like it served for his reassurance. Like he couldn't believe that someone like you could ever like someone like him.

“Yeah, a lot.” You replied nodding, a small smile forming on your lips. You felt nervous, giddy energy bubbling inside.

“Fuck sweetheart, you sure? I am a lot older than you are.” He seemed to be having an internal battle. You did have a considerable age gap between you, but that did not stop the attraction that you felt. He was kind, charming, warm and considerate, along with incredibly hot, which helped.

“I know, but that doesn't change anything for me. If it doesn't bother you then it doesn't bother me.” You said softly, scared he would reject you after bearing yourself to him. He looked torn and intense, and it made you nervous. 

“Listen, I don't want you to think I have ill intentions. I like you too, trust me. Shit, I don't remember the last time I felt like this. It makes me feel young again.” He swore and chuckled, shaking his head.

You felt hopeful, so you decided to take a leap of faith. You knew he would never make the first move, so you did. You leaned in slowly, giving him time to pull back if he wanted to. He instead pulled in closer as well and your lips met his. The kiss started slowly as you sighed into the soft contact of your lips. His mustache brushed against your upper lip and you gently griped the back of his neck with your hand. The kiss grew more intense as he brushed his tongue against your bottom lip mid kiss. You opened up for him and let your tongue explore as well. You pulled back breathless and the both of you held each other's eyes. Heat was building low in your stomach, sending a pool of liquid to your core. 

“Do you want to go inside?” He asked gruffly, his voice thick with desire.

“Yeah.” You led the way, standing from the log and feeling charlie follow behind you. Once inside, you couldn't hold back any longer and you almost pounced on him. Turning back to him once he closed the door and pressing him up against it, resuming the kiss you shared outside. It took him a split second to return the kiss, gripping your hips firmly with strong hands. He surprised you by turning the both of you suddenly so your back was pressed against the door. You released a small breath and looped your hands around his neck. He grabbed behind your thighs and lifted you effortlessly so your legs wrapped around his torso.

 The kiss continued fierce and passionate. Your hands gripped the back of his hair slightly, tugging the short strands between your fingers, earning a rough rumble from Charlie. The sound set another wave of lust to your core. You broke the kiss panting and looked into his blazing dark eyes that devoured you. 

“Charlie, I need you.” You spoke the words sounding needy even to your own ears.

“Fuck sweetheart, are you sure?” He asked for your consent, his eyes hopeful but careful, making sure you felt comfortable.

“Yes, Ive never been more sure.” You answered with a small smile, knowing this was important to him. 

“I don't have any, um, protection, darling.” His low, almost embarrassed voice made your heart swell. You stroked your thumb on his cheek. “I'm on birth control. It's okay.” You answered, soothing his worries.

You saw the restraint in him give in that moment as he carried you to the bedroom. You felt the excitement return, and you started peppering kisses to his jaw, down his neck, over the strong column of his stubbled throat. He groaned deep in his throat, a sound of pure male pleasure and it encouraged you. He set you down gently on the queen size bed hovering over you and leaning down to return the favour. He trailed kisses down your neck to your exposed collar bones, spreading kisses across them like he was appreciating every inch of your skin. You shivered with pleasure beneath his strong frame. He gently helped you out of the flannel you wore and then the tank top and jeans, leaving you in your underwear. Then you went to work on his clothing, shedding him of his layers until he was in his boxers and socks. 

The two of you continued the frenzied kissing like horny teenagers because that's what you both felt like. He was hard and you could tell it was big. It excited you and your hand trailed down to pull out his large cock from the confines of his underwear. He let out a huff of breath and he groaned when you started stroking him slowly, teasing him a little. He sat back and pulled you up with him so you were straddling his lap. He expertly unclasped your bra, and the look of admiration and pure lust thrilled you. He spent time appreciating your breasts, kissing them, licking your hard budding nipples, and then gently nipping the tips with his teeth, sending you twitching of pleasure in his arms. He made another guttural sound of pleasure and then you were beneath him again. He was trailing kisses down your stomach, going lower and lower until he reached your soaking wet clothed mound. He peeled your wet underwear from your legs and flicked them on the floor. He looked up at you with an intense lustful gaze, his dark eyes asking before his lips spoke the words.

“Can I?” The question was almost whispered against your core, sending shivers up your spine. You nodded quickly, flustered. Your cheeks felt warm and your breathing was still a little erratic from the intensity of the moment. He dipped down to your slick folds and got to work, starting with slow teasing licks that made you crazy. Your hands instinctively flew out to grip his dark brown hair. You felt his facial hair brush against your inner thighs and it turned you on. He devoured your pussy like a starving man, with languid strokes of his tongue that increased in speed slowly, followed by slightly sucking on your sensitive clit. You pulled harder on his hair, releasing little moans and soft cries at the pleasure. He increased in speed and intensity until you felt the slow climb of your orgasm forming. It came like a crashing wave, strong and sure. The white hot pleasure peaking and sending you free falling of the ledge. Your legs shook as you came on his tongue, moaning loudly and releasing his hair to grip the sheets tightly with bunched fists. He pulled back after you were done riding the comedown of your dizzying orgasm.

“You taste so good, Princess.” He praised low and throaty from his own desire. 

“Charlie, I want your dick.” The request left you without even thinking, you were still hypnotized from the rush of coming hard for him. He seemed pleased at the words and he pulled down his boxer briefs, his fully erect dick touching his happy trail. He was a good 7 inches for sure and the sight of him in his full glory made your mouth water. He positioned himself until he was lined up to your slick entrance and then, with a smooth slow thrust, he pushed in. The feeling of him filling you slowly was exquisite. He groaned and squeezed his eyes shut in pleasure.

“Fuck you're so tight.” He cursed under his breath as he started to test out a few thrusts. You moaned as he slowly picked up the pace. He braced himself on his elbows, caging you into him and sending his smell to flood your senses. He smelled faintly of pine and sweat and it turned you on more than any expensive cologne could. He fucks you deep, powerful thrusts and your moans increase in volume. He looks down into your eyes with lust, sweat beading on his forehead from the exertion. He lets out little groans and muffled curses as he fucks you. 

“You're so pretty when I fuck you, sweetheart.” He coos, pounding into you and sending you close to a second orgasm already. 

“Fuck yes Charlie.” You moan out his name, clutching the surrounding sheets in pleasure. 

Your back arches and you feel one of his strong, calloused hands on the small of your back, holding you up and pressing your front to his chest as he thrusts into you fast and strong. 

Your sensitive nipples rub against his hairy chest and it sends sparks of electricity through your body as you feel the peak of your second orgasm approaching. It rocks through your body and you pull him in for a needy kiss. You come while kissing him, breaking apart to moan out his name as you convulse in his powerful grip. Your toes curl, your back arching even more and then you come even harder than the last time. Your vision blurs a little as you come down from the high, still pressed close to a panting Charlie, who came at the same time. He pulls out slowly and then stands to grab tissues from the wooden side table next to the bed. He wipes you first, then himself. Then he approaches where you sit at the edge of the bed, watching him with a loving smile. He settles into the bed, pulling you close to him, and you cuddle with him in the drowsy post orgasm haze. His hairy chest serves as your pillow as you gently stroke his shoulder and then trail your fingers on his chest. You sigh happily.

“You know that was the best sex I've ever had.” He smiles down at you, flashing you with one of those breathtaking smiles.

“Me too.” You agree, smiling wider and then pulling him in for another kiss. 

[livmightlive]

American Chain Headcanon 😮‍💨

this is stupid 😭

I was laying down, having myself a maladaptive daydream session, and couldn’t get this out of my head

here’s which state I think each member of the chain would be from if they were American

Wind is from Hawai’i and you cannot take that from me. If I were being biased I would say he’s from Oahu, but I could also see him being from Kauai. I just really see him as a town rat though growing up in Honolulu. I just think he’d love screwing around with tourists and sneaking into resort swimming pools

I think Hyrule would be from Alaska. Something to do with the sheer amount of wildlife and surprising rate of violent deaths that occur there resonate. In all realness tho, I think he would grow up on a frontier or homestead of some type. Maybe he would be a reservation kid

Warriors would be from Virginia. I believe he would grow up surrounded by military communities. I think he’d grow up as an Army brat (he’d probably move a lot but Virginia is home base to him). He’d get into West Point and follow his family’s footsteps in the military.

Wild would be from Florida. I don’t really feel like I need to explain this one. He’d go barefoot into the Everglades and mess around with wildlife. He’d love petty crime. 

Legend is a NYC kid but he’s spent every summer of his life visiting family in Boston. He grew up in Queens and has a thick NYC accent. When he comes home from the summer he has a Bostonian accent 😭 he knows the subway like second nature, how to barter, and the best food joints. 

Sky is midwestern I think he’d grow in Minnesota. He’s also got a strong accent. Very well adjusted to the cold. His idea of a salad is probably not your idea of a salad 😬

I think Twilight would be Texan but I’ve seen strong arguments for him being Appalachian and honestly I can’t decide. No… I think he’d grow up in Appalachia. Ugh or maybe he’d grow up in Montana on a ranch there. I can’t decide. Pls help

I think Time would be Californian but he brings it up never 😭 one day somebody asks him where he grew up and he’s just like: Sacramento. The only reason I thought that is bc Sacramento is the city of trees… Time gave me lots of trouble. Another possibility is that he just answers with a different city each time he’s asked. Maybe he’s from Cincinatti 😭 Ohio

Four is so weird. He’s Canadian (ily Canadians). I think he’d be from Montreal but has zero accent. He’s fluent in French.

pls feel free to argue with me or offer your own thoughts

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Obvs it wouldn't happen because imprints don't work that way, but what if Jacob imprinted on CARLISLE?

You're hilarious, anon, that's what you are.

Alright, let's do this.

Jacob Imprints on Carlisle Cullen: A Timeline

The thing is, Jacob doesn't notice for a fairly long time. Remember that Jacob hardly ever meets any of the Cullens until fairly late in the series. In Twilight and New Moon, before shifting, he was extremely embarrassed by his father's superstitious attitude that's so bad it's to the point where he's told the entire tribe that none of them are to go to Forks hospital (which as the closest hospital in a rural area, and one with a now very qualified surgeon that they won't otherwise be able to get to for several hours, this is... a very extreme choice that speaks to just how seriously the Quileute view the Cullen problem).

Jacob meets Edward once in Twilight, at a distance, when he tells Bella at Prom "So... my dad told me to break up with your vampire boyfriend and that the spooky tribe will be watching you :/ ah ha ha ha ha ha".

And then the Cullens are gone until the end of New Moon, at which point Jacob only runs into Carlisle Cullen in Eclipse when the shapeshifters and the Cullens have agreed to join forces to stop the newborn army and to have their solitary training session where they take this seriously.

The Cullens Jacob gets to have lovely interactions with beforehand are Alice at the end of New Moon (in which Alice has some choice words) and Edward who is... Edward.

But not the others.

(The movies where the Cullens and wolves run into each other hunting Victoria, and get into a catfight, is just the movies and was an entirely ridiculous scene.)

What this means is that we've gone through all of Twilight, New Moon, and most of Eclipse. Jacob is pining after Bella, in this torrid love triangle with Edward the blood sucking demon as his rival, has kissed Bella, and has spent an entire novel trying to convince Bella that she's in love with him and "also, don't become a vampire" without much luck on either front.

And now, the worst thing in the world happens.

The Moment

Very reluctantly, the Cullens and shapeshifters have both agreed that the threat is now so large that neither of them can contain it as an individual group. The Cullens have been rebuffed by the Denali who only agreed to help if they got the chance to commit genocide/have their revenge for the death of Laurent.

The shapeshifters, on the other side, hear that a horde of vampires the size of which they have never encountered before (when they're having issues dealing with just one, only one, vampire) is going to descend upon the town of Forks and, with extreme sadness, agree to a) help out the Cullens b) agree that they need the Cullens help on this one.

So, they get this training session (in which Bella shows up because... unclear why she's there, she really shouldn't have been there/really made the impression that they were flaunting the Bride of Dracula in the shapeshifter's faces) and the Cullens all watch as the wolves show up, more than they had ever suspected, Bella oohs over what a big red wolf Jacob is and--

I imagine they freeze, because they were wolves at the time, so they were all in the wolfy hive mind. This means every single one of them knows the second Jacob imprints and get to process it along with him.

Suddenly, Carlisle Cullen is Jacob's gravity, his reason for existence, his everything.

And he's a vampire.

Who is 300 years old. And physically twenty-three years old.

And he's married.

And Edward is right there hearing every thought the hive mind is having.

I imagine Emmett warily asks Edward what's going on. Is everything okay, or are they all about to kill each other and the treaty's off? Edward can't answer because. No. No.

"Seriously, Edward," I imagine Rosalie says, "What's happening?"

(Alice sure wishes she could see what was going on right now, at all, she sure wishes she could help here. Man, it would be great if she could use her gift and wasn't BLOCKED BY FUCKING WOLVES. WOULDN'T THAT BE GREAT?! WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT IF SHE HAD VISIONS THAT COULD TELL HER WHAT'S GOING ON RIGHT NOW?!)

The wolves don't want to answer either as none of them want to admit this is happening (except for Jacob who's still too brain scrambled to react yet).

Jacob, I imagine breaks first. He shifts (and he is... sadly... naked... for this...) and runs over to Carlisle Cullen, the center of his new existence, and happily explains that his universe has just turned on its head and whatever Carlisle Cullen needs from him, JACOB IS THERE, MAN.

Carlisle... doesn't... need... anything...

He's also very confused and alarmed. And can Jacob please put on his clothes?

Edward, reluctantly, explains to his father that Jacob has just er imprinted on him. It's a thing. No, it doesn't necessarily mean romantic love (probably) but Jacob is now Carlisle's.... person. But Jacob's clearly wrong because Carlisle is married and he doesn't need a new son or a friend or anything.

HE HAS HIS FAMILY.

Bella, meanwhile, is shocked, shocked and--confused--and--hurt. Was Jacob gay/bisexual this whole time? But no, Edward just said it didn't have to be romantic. But Bella's also had it explained to her that the imprinter is supposed to be the most important person in the imprintee's life. Sam left Leah so that he could marry Emily when he imprinted on her, and even if it is platonic--isn't Bella supposed to be Jacob's best friend? Wasn't he just telling her how in love with her he was? Hasn't he been the sun in her life?

But because of this single second of imprinting, from a corner Bella never expected... that's done now. Jacob won't be in love with her anymore, all that talk of Bella being in love with him won't matter at all, they'll be less close friends at most and...

And maybe that's a good thing? She's with Edward, she's marrying Edward in a few weeks, she wants to be with Edward. If Jacob gives up, or imprints, then they can stay the way they are without Jacob wanting her to give up on Edward.

It's just that Jacob's most important person will be Edward's vampire dad...

I imagine Sam shifts at this point as... the situation has changed a bit. And tries to get Jacob to calm down and, "We need to discuss this, Jacob" but Jacob isn't having it as the most important person in his life is standing there, staring at him, and clearly wants nothing to do with him.

And Jacob realizes--there's not any room for him. The man has a wife, he has children, WHAT IS JACOB SUPPOSED TO DO?! YOU NEED A BEST FRIEND, DOC?!

Everyone would really love to call off this training session by this point but... that vampire army is coming and they're running out of time.

They have to do this.

They do a speed run and then rush back to their prospective homes where they grill Edward (who has the wonders of spying telepathy) about what the fuck imprinting means and what's happening.

The shapeshifters go home to be extremely upset and try to reason with Jacob who... given how he acted in canon with Renesmee, probably runs to the Cullen's house screaming "CARLISSSSSSSSSSSSSSLE" out of terror that they'll leave in the middle of the night because of this.

Jacob immediately plots how he can stop the Cullens/Carlisle from leaving Forks. In this case, showing Charlie his wolf form would do nothing, as Bella's not the one turned and in theory they could just leave her behind and run if Jacob outed them. Similarly, getting Bella to end up with him and not turn would mean the Cullens would just vamoose.

Jacob concludes, in a moment of horror, the only way to guarantee the Cullens stay is if Bella and Edward get together and then Bella has to stay. Bella's what's connecting them to Forks, what's keeping them from disappearing, even what drew them back in the first place.

And he's right to be concerned as the Cullens are discussing just this. They have to stay through this newborn fight, but then... if it weren't for Bella they'd be leaving as quickly as possible and even then... maybe Carlisle and Esme should just go on ahead? Edward and Bella, do you have to get married right here in Forks/invite everyone from Forks?

Unfortunately, due to that wedding and the pesky detail of inviting Bella's friends and relatives, they really are stuck for at least a few weeks, until Bella and Edward can go off to college.

Jacob's Plan

Jacob then has a few short weeks to convince Carlisle Cullen that he's the greatest thing since sliced bread, he totally needs Jacob in his life, and pffff wife shmife.

So, Jacob does things like just... show up at the Cullen house. He just shows up. And at the hospital, and everywhere, trying to prove how cool he is to Carlisle who is just sad about all of this. He's so sad.

There has been much querying in both parties of "are we sure there isn't a way to get rid of this?" and both the Cullens and shapeshifters had concluded "no, not really, we don't even understand what the fuck this is".

And while Carlisle really wants to just up and leave... it sounds like he'd cause Jaocb mental anguish unheard of for the rst of his existence if he doesn't throw him some bone.

"We can go... fishing..."

(Bella was right in that Jacob has dropped her like it's hot. She hasn't seen him since the training.)

At the battle, instead of guarding Bella's tent in the night, Jacob insists on being where the rest of the Cullens are. Yeah yeah, Edward, have fun with wifey.

(This is not fun as Bella nearly freezes to death in the tent, and as there's no Jacob to keep her warm, Edward just has to sit there, panicking, as he sadly wishes he could warm Bella up himself buT hE's a MonStEr)

There is no "kiss me or I'll kill myself", Bella doesn't even see Jacob when the fighting happens or afterwards. I imagine Jacob's still hurt, (and gets quality time with Dr. Cullen and morphine as he recovers, yay!) and Bella... barely gets to see him then either.

At least Edward's upset about this too and annoyed, if for very different reasons.

Bella finds herself just... ending up with Edward, with no closure on how that Jacob thing would have gone if it would have gone everywhere. Jacob's not even promising to never speak to her again/kill her on sight anymore, he doesn't even seem to care about vampirism as all he wants to do is hang out with Carlisle Cullen, which is.... good? This is good? Is this good?

Jacob doesn't run out of town before the wedding, he's right there, the whole time, hanging out with Carlisle (who is gently trying to tell Jacob that, you know, the Cullens will have to leave this place and your whole family is here so you should... try... to get over this or be... um... long distance).

When Bella becomes pregnant, Jacob only cares that this is clearly stressing Carlisle out who is now supposed to figure out how to birth her demon, alien, horrifying spawn. Gosh, Bella.

(Bella misses her best friend).

And...

Damn.

Basically the rest of the series happens, as Jacob still protects pregnant Bella as he has to protect Carlisle, except that Jacob is imprinted on Vampire Dad and Bella's trying to have a very brave face about this.

SHE AND JACOB ARE STILL FRIENDS! (He just doesn't talk to her anymore...)

[s-che]

Monsterhearts 2: Plotting Anti-Plot

Last week I had the fortune to MC (and play) Monsterhearts 2 for the first time as the Dream Library begins a unit on monsters, monstrosity, and monsterfucking which will carry us through November, and boy howdy am I glad we managed to do it. 

For those who (somehow) don’t know, Monsterhearts is a game that bills itself as being about “the messy lives of teenage monsters.” It cites Twilight, Buffy, Ginger Snaps, The Vampire Diaries, and The Craft as media touchstones, it’s not joking when it says that these monsters are 1. messy and 2. teenagers. Monsterhearts is angsty, horny, frightening and, above all else, extremely fun to play. On top of that, Monsterhearts is also one of those games that, if you’re in a certain sector of the indie RPG scene, people will remind you is extremely fun to play all the fucking time. It feels sometimes like every designer I know has a good Monsterhearts story, and as much as Avery Alder’s reputation on a larger stage has been defined by The Quiet Year, I get the sense that for people who like what Monsterhearts is doing it’s an extremely hard game to beat. 

So to be totally honest, I was more than a little anxious MCing for my first time actually playing the game. There’s a sense in which hosting a game which you know is great can be way harder than hosting games you think might be bad — after all, if the session goes poorly, there’s nobody to blame but yourself. On top of that, Monsterhearts moves through some tricky territory: underage sex is a core element of the game, and the eight “Small Towns” (short, pre-prepped settings for quick starting the game) all deal more or less explicitly with histories of racism and colonialism in communities across North America. While these are interesting places to go in play, the idea of taking them on myself as host made me shy away a little bit (and I’m excited in the next session to look at things from a player’s perspective). 

All in all, though, I think the session was a resounding success. I went in with basically no prep and as much familiarity with the book as I could get (not enough to realize the quick reference sheet we were using for the first half of the session was from Monsterhearts 1, but so it goes), relying on the game itself — which leans away from strictly organized plots and encourages you, in true PBTA fashion, to let characters and their needs bounce off each other until the conversation goes somewhere interesting — to get us smoothly into play. I would call my efforts there a mixed success: while Avery has a real skill for writing pedagogically, giving you the explicit frameworks you need to get into play (if you’ve never begun a session of The Quiet Year by reading the rules book aloud to each other, you should go fix that now), the session was hampered a little by some awkward pacing and uncertainty: partially driven by my chronic tendency to waste time on slowly establishing things in one-shots rather than swinging as hard as I can in the first five minutes and letting the players lead from there and partially by player character relationships that lead to clear, decisive actions... which left one of our players bored at work while the other two went off adventuring. We ended up taking a moment, after returning from the normal mid-session bio-break, to chat and refocus ourselves, figuring out where we wanted to go and what we wanted to see in the last hour or so of the session, and then jumping back in and — thankfully — playing hard to reach a strong conclusion. In the end, I’m not interested in tracking down exactly where the first half of our session lost its footing (although I have some ideas for how I could have hit harder as an MC). I’m more interested in celebrating the way the table was able to come together, talk explicitly about what we wanted, and get the game somewhere satisfying for everyone involved. We closed on, among other things: an underwater fight between the Fairy (Mermaid?) Queen and a Kraken-Leviathan-Hellmonster, a throuple sneaking off from a beach party to hook up, and the messy end of a South Jersey summer (complete with a tsunami and a beached whale front of the boardwalk). It was a good time. 

Most striking to me in this moment, however, is the way thinking about Monsterhearts as a plotless game positions both me as MC and the other players. It really speaks to the way that capital-T The capital-C Conversation works in Powered by the Apocalypse games (good ones, anyway) to let play flow not according to the rules of a paced narrative, but along lines of player interest and highly-charged emotional incident. It is, I think, part of what makes all the PBTA games we’ve played in the Dream Library sing (in no small part because we pruned the last unit and didn’t play any PBTA games I think are bad, but that’s a different conversation) and it suits this game — with it’s emphasis on sex and messy desire — extremely well. It also fits in nicely with a point I’ve heard a couple of people make recently: that thinking of RPGs as first and foremost collective narrative engines is, at the very least, a narrow view. 

Anyway, this week I’m fortunate enough to be joined by a new host (hi @jdragsky) so I can check out MH as a player, then we’ve got a couple of two-shots planned for the end of the month before we move on to our next monstrously intimate game: Bluebeard’s Bride. You want in on an upcoming game? Have a link. You want to hear more about Monsterhearts? One of my players wrote up some of her thoughts as well.

Otherwise, well, get out of here. Scram.

[pricknim]

Human Twilight Sparkle and Sci-Twi (renamed to Nightfall Dazzle cause we can't have two twilights) in a college au type of setting

Twilight Sparkle -> is the older twin, but still ended up being the shorter one -> is majoring in particle physics whilst also studying sociology and pedagogy -> is the more outgoing of the two; learned the importance of friendship and has been trying to get her sister to be more open as well -> is very popular on campus, as she is very friendly and likes to tutor other people -> bisexual ; had a boyfriend for a while (Flash Sentry), but decided to end things as they just weren't compatible -> likes coffee, but fell in love with Pinkie's tea assortments -> met Pinkie in their first year visiting the bakery she was working at ; they like to study chemistry together -> met Applejack shortly after Pinkie Pie, when she was making a delivery to the bakery, she helped out a bit -> met Rarity in some of their shared classes during their first year -> met Starlight Glimmer and Trixie during her first year; she was tutoring Trixie for a while and was pretty sad when she had dropped out in the end ; she still meets up with Starlight regularly for study dates as they are on the same major -> met Rainbow Dash through Rarity, who had asked Twilight to help tutoring RD -> met Fluttershy through Nightfall and Applejack ; they often have tea parties -> for a few months she was visiting the bakery more often [it definitely wasn't because of a certain somebody working there] -> met Sunset Shimmers through her mentor, Professor Celestia ; they are research buddies -> it was her idea for them to get matching septum piercings Sci-Twi -> Nightfall Dazzle -> is the youngest of the two -> is majoring in astrophysics and is a teacher assistant for Professor Luna -> unlike her sister, she's more shut-in and antisocial ; she's willing to try to make friends now and again for Twi tho (especially since she's getting mistaken for her sister a lot) -> has a short temper -> is a coffee connoisseur -> bisexual as well, but was never really interested in dating ; had a boyfriend for a few months, but ended up forgetting about him, as she was so focused on her studies -> met Pinkie in their first year visiting the bakery she was working at ; they like to study chemistry together -> she met Applejack when she was out shopping one day ; AJ mistook her for Twilight, realizing her mistake she invited Nightfall for a coffee -> met Rarity in a shared class during their first year -> on her first meeting with Starlight she was mistaken for her sister again ; they are in good terms, the three of them sometimes meet up (Twilight, Nightfall and Starlight) -> ran into Rainbow Dash in Pinkie's bakery ; RD mistook her for Twilight, Nightfall ended up having an impromptu study session with RD -> met Fluttershy in Pinkie's bakery whilst having a coffee with Applejack -> the one friend she managed to make on her own, without her sister asking her to, is Tempest Shadow and Moondancer ; she bumped into Tempest at a bookstore, they bonded over books ; Moondancer and her are studying the same major -> they are close to their family and often visit their brother and sister in law -> they are out to their family, but they don't care much for that -> their younger brother, Spike, often comes to visit them during his days off from school -> they don't like to sit next to each other during classes, cause they always end up distracting one other with their usual debates -> they are renting an apartment above the town's library ; they often work / help out at the library over their free summers

[hellfirenacht]

Crit Happens: Session 1

Fic Summary: You are who’s Dustin’s favorite cousin from out of town who is staying with him for the summer. Eddie finds himself jealous as he’s suddenly been pushed aside as Dustin’s favorite dungeon master. When Dustin insists that Eddie join the campaign, you and Eddie quickly butt heads about how Dungeons and Dragons should be played.

Chapter Summary: You arrive in Hawkins and prepare yourself to start your campaign.

5.1k words

Tags: Eddie Munson x Reader, Rivals to Lovers, rival dungeon masters, eventual smut, satanic panic, advanced dungeons and dragons, Henderson!Reader, Reader is Dustin’s favorite cousin, no use of y/n, reader is not described, smut in later chapters

Master List (0 1)

Session 1: Stronghold and Followers 

June, 1986

The closer you got to Indiana, the worse the heat got. In the passenger seat beside you, there were a half dozen water bottles sitting empty, as well as a few wrappers of the various snacks that you had picked up from gas stations on your long drive into Hawkins. You spent half the drive cursing yourself for not getting the a/c fixed earlier, your usual guys going on vacation right when you decided to suck it up to spend the money. Go figure. 

It was twilight now, and there was a hazy purple over the horizon as you passed the WELCOME TO HAWKINS sign. Your radio turned to static, having lost whatever signal you had found for that last stretch of the drive and you reached out to fiddle with the dial to find something to listen to that was loud enough to drown out the sound of the wind rushing through your rolled down windows. 

KISS blasted through your speakers after a moment of messing around, the tail end of “I Was Made For Loving You” giving you the push you needed to get to the Henderson house. 

The street lights turned on as you pulled into the quiet neighborhood and a sense of nostalgia washed over you. For two weeks a year from the time you were in 2nd grade up until your last few years of high school, you’d spend time here with Dustin and his friends, playing D&D and riding bikes. His mom had always welcomed you like a daughter, even though you weren’t even related by blood, your mom having remarried when you were barely three years old.

You turned down the radio as you picked out the old house and pulled into the driveway. The yellow lights illuminating the house from within were a stark contrast to the fading light in the sky, and you saw a shadow rush past the window. You peeled yourself off the seat, and stepped out of the car, wondering how it was now cooler outside rather than inside. 

Your name was called from the porch and you saw Dustin running at you and pulling you into a hug. You grunted and laughed. 

“Who in the fresh hell are you?!” you demanded as Dustin pulled back. He was so much taller now, and you saw a hint of metal in his mouth that showed that his teeth were finally growing in. His hair was also longer, the spiral curls nearly reaching his shoulders. 

“You smell like fresh hell!” Dustin said, scrunching his nose. 

“Oh, do I?” you asked and wrapped an arm around his neck and pulled him into a headlock. “Do I? Do I really stink? Am I breaking the illusion that girls smell like roses and unicorns all the time?” 

“Jesus, get off of me!” Dustin cackled as he pushed you off. 

“That’s not my name, but on Friday you can call me ‘God’.” you smirked, ruffling his hair. “It’s good to see you again. Now help me get my shit out of the car.” 

It didn’t take long for you two to drag your suitcases and duffle bags into the spare room. It was stale, but nothing that a cracked window and a fan couldn’t fix. 

“Are you staying for the summer or are you moving in completely?” Dustin asked, dropping an oversized tupperware of clothes on the carpeted floor with a heavy thunk. 

“Most of this isn’t my stuff. It’s for my job. They decided instead of paying to have things shipped they can just shove all the costumes in with me on my drive up.” you said, pushing the clothes to a corner of the room. 

“Couldn’t it have stayed in the car then?” Dustin asked. 

“No, don’t wanna risk damage in the heat.”

Without the boxes of costumes, your personal belongings added up to one suitcase, two duffle bags, and a backpack. You unzipped one of the bags and went digging through the mess to find your toiletries. You were going to need at least three showers after that drive. 

Dustin hopped on your bed and watched you unpack. “Everyone’s really excited for the campaign.”

“Yeah?” you smiled as you tossed the toiletry bag on the dresser. “I spent an afternoon on those tickets, so they better remember to bring them.” 

“We almost stapled Mikes’ ticket to his character sheet so he wouldn’t lose it.” 

“Good because I worked too damn hard on this campaign for you all to derail it before it even starts.” You said firmly. “There will be consequences if they don’t remember the ticket.” 

Dustin shifted on your bed and he started picking at the pilling on the pillow next to him. “And what happens if someone doesn’t have a ticket?” 

“Nice try kid, I’m not sharing anything with you.” you snorted, shoving your clothes in the dresser.  

“Not even a hint?” 

“Nope, instead I should be giving you false information for being related to me. You’re lucky I don’t automatically give you disadvantage on all of your rolls just for knowing me, you nepo.” Your box of D&D items was pulled out of the duffel and placed on the bed next to him. 

“That’s not fair!” 

“I know, which is why I’m not doing it. Aren’t I such a benevolent dungeon master?” You bat your eyelashes at him. “Now is there an actual game shop here that I can get minis from? Otherwise you guys are gonna be battling old Sorry! pieces and maybe the Monopoly dog if I need a boss figure.” 

“The closest one is a town over.” Dustin sighed. 

“Damn. Well, I’ll make due for the first session.”

“I can ask Mike or Will if they can loan you some figures.” 

“And that’s why you’re my favorite cousin.” 

“I’m your only cousin” 

“Details.” 

The rest of the evening was filled with catching up with Dustin, having dinner and finally taking a cold shower after a long day of driving. You were a long way from home, but at least you were somewhere familiar. 

It was almost midnight when you finally laid down for the night, the radio beside you was quietly playing some jazz station. The clean sheets felt like heaven against your skin, but it was still a different bed than usual. 

You stared at the popcorn ceiling, making up constellations in the bumps as you pushed away thoughts of your old D&D party. How everything imploded, and you had jumped at the opportunity to run away with your tail between your legs the second this job opportunity popped up. 

It’ll be different this time. You told yourself. It’s Dustin and his friends. Just a couple of kids who just want to play a game, just like you.

As the quiet sounds of the radio lulled you off, there was a small voice in the back of your head that whispered. 

‘Everyone’s confused why you want to go, anyway-’

With your new job not starting for another week, that gave you plenty of time to get ready for the first session. With the tickets you had sent out a few weeks ago, you’d also send all your players a rundown of what this campaign would be about, and what you expected of them at the table, as well as any house rules. Ideally, you preferred to talk about all of that in person but you wanted to jump right into the game as fast as possible. 

Maybe the faster you started the game, the more you’d like it again. 

When you originally called to ask if the Henderson’s would be willing to host you for the summer when this opportunity popped up, Dungeons and Dragons was the last thing on your mind. It had been a few months since the night that everything had fallen apart, but the wounds were no less healed. But then Dustin had hopped on the line and had gone on and on about Hellfire Club and how he missed playing with you and how amazing his new dungeon master was. 

You weren’t sure if it was jealousy or spite that made you offer to run a campaign again for the kids. Maybe you missed being the one to run games, maybe you missed the idea of seeing people consistently, maybe you were just insane and were looking to still hurt. But you ran your mouth and spent the next few days in a nest of comics, Bradbury books, and B movies and emerged with a campaign about a haunted carnival to run. 

You threw yourself into planning the campaign, focusing everything solely on work and this. Nothing else mattered other than getting as far away as possible, be it in reality or fantasy. 

Friday night rolled around, and Dustin grumbled as you kicked him out of his own home. Your aunt had book club tonight, and that gave you time to spend the day getting ready for the first session. 

The living room was decorated with streamers and balloons in neon greens and dark purples. Your old boom box was playing a tape of distorted carnival music, amplified by the busted left speaker. The afternoon was spent cooking up hotdogs and popcorn and other assorted carnival foods to stay on theme. 

To top it off, you rummaged through the boxes of costumes that you had brought and pulled out a ringmasters coat and top hat. 

Go big, or go home. 

And you were a long way from home. 

It was just past 7 when you heard the familiar laughter of Dustin and his friends outside as they all pulled up into the driveway on their bikes. You took a deep breath, and straightened your coat out. 

Almost none of the voices you heard outside sounded familiar, except Dustin's and you had to remind yourself that you really hadn’t seen these kids since they were in middle school. Damn, it really had been a long time since you’d been back here. 

You made your way over to the door and opened it with a flourish before they could let themselves in. 

“Welcome gentlemen to the circus of the strange, the sideshow of the sinister and the theater of the bizarre!” You said dramatically, bowing as you ushered them in. You could see that Dustin couldn’t tell if he was embarrassed or enjoying you hamming it up in front of Mike, Lucas, and Will. 

“Enter a realm of dark wonders to indulge your wickedest dreams. Or, if you dare, explore the shadows of your most diabolical nightmares.” You continued, leading them into the kitchen where you pointed to the food you had made that day. Your hard work for the day was worth it, just to see how Will and Lucas looked around at the decorations that you had put up for the evening.

“Cast your eyes upon cruel the oddities of nature and behold monstrous creatures from the depths of the abyss. Marvel with awe and dismay at unbelievable death-defying acts that teeter on the very brink of doom. Leave the mundane world behind, for those who visit this festival of phantasms are never the same again... Step this way... there is no turning back!” 

The end of your speech was met with laughter and applause. If Dustin had landed on ‘embarrassed’ with your monologue he decided that being fed was worth the show. 

“You really set all this up this afternoon?” he asked, grabbing a handful of popcorn. 

“In a manner of speaking. I’ve been planning this for weeks, setting up was the easy part.” you explained before turning back to his friends. “Why the fuck are you all the way up there, Will?” 

Will laughed, and rubbed the back of his neck. “Growth spurt about a year ago.” 

“God, you’re all tall now.” you said. “How dare you. You’re supposed to stay exactly the same as you were in my memories. Small and in middle school.” 

“We’re going to be sophomores in the fall.” Mike pointed out. 

“Illegal. Not allowed.” you shook your head. “Try again.” 

Your nerves were calming down now that your party was here and being fed. You had overmade the spread for the night, but that just meant that there’d be leftovers for lunch later. As the five of you caught up in the kitchen, you felt yourself relaxing and excited to start the game. You didn’t have to impress them, they knew what to expect with you as the dungeon master. You’d already told them what you expected for this campaign in your notes that you had sent. 

But there was a part of you that wanted to impress them. The small voice in the back of your head that kept whispering that if you ran this campaign well enough, then maybe- well, you weren’t sure what. It wouldn’t change what happened with your last party, but you’d feel better.

Right?

This wasn’t going to be like before. These were good kids, who wouldn’t bring any drama to the table. 

You were going to be okay. 

Once everyone had their fill, you ushered them to the table, where you had set up the game. 

“Before you take your seats, I’ll need to see your tickets.” you said with a wide grin, putting on your best ringleader's voice. “You do have tickets, correct?”

There was a scramble as the boys pulled out the tickets you had worked so hard on to present them to you. 

Lucas was the first to hand his over and you took it, ripped it in half and handed it back, offering him a seat at the table. It pained you to tear up your work, but the look on their faces was worth it. When he took his seat, you reached into a small bag that you had set in the middle of the table and handed over a small set of brand new dice. 

“Holy shit.” Lucas immediately dumped them out and picked up the D20. The dice were purple and green, a custom job from the only person from your last party that you still talked to. 

“Not bad, huh?” you said, feeling proud of the way he looked at his new prize. “I thought they fit the theme of the game.”

Will was next, followed by Mike. Each ticket was ripped and handed back to the boys and you directed them on where to sit. Each ticket came with a brand new set of dice, and the excitement of seeing the boys with their new toys added a bandaid to your bruised heart. 

Then it was Dustin’s turn. 

You looked at him.

He looked at you. 

You held out your hand. “Ticket, please.” 

Dustin laughed nervously. “So, about that...”

“Dustin, you live here!” you gasped, but your smile only grew wider. “You have no ticket? You lost it?!” Despite your scolding, you were giggling maniacally with glee. “My money was on Mike for losing his ticket.”

“Hey!”

“I didn’t lose it!” Dustin said defensively, glaring at his friends who were snickering at him. “I just- I might have uh...”

You clapped him on the shoulder. “Well, there is good news and bad news.” you said. “The good news is that you will still be allowed to play, and you will eventually get your set of dice.”

“And the bad news....?”

“All in good time, Dusty.” you said, and pushed him to his seat. “But no new dice for you. Not yet.” 

Dustin groaned as you made your way to your seat. Your dm screen wasn’t anything especially interesting or fancy, just a few folders taped together with a composition notebook filled with notes for your campaign. 

Just as you started to set the scene, Dustin spoke up. “Wait I- I need to use the bathroom.”

Everyone groaned and looked at Dustin.

“Seriously? You couldn’t go five minutes ago?” Lucas asked. 

“I didn’t need to before!” Dustin got up and quickly ran out of the room and you sighed and paused the music, rewinding it to start over. 

You looked at the clock and took a deep breath. This was fine, he had just thrown you off before you could really start. When Dustin got back, you could just start over and be fine. 

As your party talked amongst themselves, you noticed headlights pulling up outside. That was weird, your aunt wasn’t supposed to be back for at least another hour or two. You heard someone walk up to the door and ring the doorbell. 

Well, that couldn’t be Dustin’s mom. She wouldn’t need to knock for her own home. You got up from the table and started towards the door. 

“I GOT IT I GOT IT I GOT IT I GOT IT!!!” Dustin yelled as he barrelled down the hallway to the living room. 

“What...?” You looked at Dustin confused before opening the door.

You turned to see the person who your cousin was staring at like a deer in the headlights, and for a brief moment, your face mirrored his in a rare moment of family resemblance. 

In the backlight of the porch, you swore for three seconds that Van Halen himself had shown up at the Henderson residence. The man on your porch had long wavy hair and a fringe that almost fell into his round doe eyes. The Dio shirt hung loosely over his frame, and the denim vest on top of that made his shoulders look broad and sturdy. 

He was gorgeous.

You blinked and finally realized that you were staring like a creep. 

“Hi....?” You said. “Can I help you...?”

“Eddie!” Dustin said, which was suddenly echoed by your party as everyone suddenly got up from the table to greet this person. 

Eddie... wait, was this...?

“You made it!” Dustin said. 

“Dude, you invited Eddie to play? Why didn’t you say anything?” Will asked. 

“Yes, Dustin, why didn’t you say anything?” You asked, looking at your cousin as you were all but shoved out of the way as the boys invited Eddie in. You could handle adding an extra player, sure, but Dustin hadn’t warned you about inviting anyone at all, let alone his oh so talented dungeon master from school. 

After spending so much time setting everything up, you weren’t feeling thrilled about the wrench in your evening. 

Dustin looked at you sheepishly, and looked between you and Eddie. By his expression, he hadn’t been warned that you were unaware that he was coming either. 

And now, here you were, surrounded by children who all expected you to allow their old dungeon master to play. A dungeon master who, by all accounts, took the rules seriously. 

Eddie, reached into his pocket and pulled out the ticket that you had crafted for Dustin. 

“Hi, I uh, have a ticket.” he said waving it. 

You snatched the ticket out of his hand, a bit harder than you meant to. It wasn’t his fault, but this did annoy you. 

You looked over the ticket, pretending to examine it, as if trying to decide if it was real or not before looking up at him. 

“And who are you?” you asked. 

“Eddie.” he said, crossing his arms and looking you up and down. 

“No.”

“No?”

“Who are you?” you asked again slower, waving the ticket in the same way that he had. 

You could feel everyone’s eyes on you and Eddie, and despite the anxiety roaring in your stomach you held your ground as you sized him up. It would be a lot easier if he wasn’t taller than you and genuinely looked intimidating. You had never seen such intense brown eyes before.

He seemed to understand what you were asking. “My name is Eddie, and I’m a level five bard who heard about a carnival in town that might be stealing souls. I’ve come to take a look for myself.”

Shit. That was a good answer. 

You offered your name and ripped the ticket in half, handing it back to him. For a split second he looked shocked, and then hurt before you stepped aside and motioned to your table. He looked even more like Van Halen when he smiled at you. 

“So, Henderson, you didn’t warn the dungeon master you were adding a new body to the table?” Eddie asked. 

“It slipped my mind.” Dustin said, looking at you nervously. 

“Oh did it?” you asked. Moving behind your flimsy screen. “So you gave away your ticket and invited someone without asking. You must really be wanting your character to be targeted, huh? Go get the guest a chair.” 

Dustin returned a moment later with an extra chair and everyone adjusted themselves to fit around the small table. It was already cramped before, as it wasn’t like Dustin and his mom needed a lot of space, but now it was nearly shoulder to shoulder. 

You made a mental note to try and find a bigger table for games, or maybe a different place to host. All this set up had just been planned for this one session. You didn’t think you’d have the time when you started up with the job. 

Now, with no more distractions you turned the music back on and took a deep breath. Alright, Dustin didn’t have a ticket. You had planned for that, hoped for that even. Having an extra person at the table wasn’t a big deal either, you had people come in and out of games all the time. You breathed out any annoyance you had for the surprise. It wasn’t like it was Eddie’s fault that you hadn’t been warned and he came prepared with a character and a simple back story. 

With all eyes on you, you set the stage for the campaign. You set them all in a small village where everyone, except Dustin, had been sent an invitation to a carnival. It didn’t take long for the party to realize that the tickets were magic and probably a little bit cursed. 

“As agents of the Department of Occult Research, or DOOR, magic like this isn’t new to you.” you explained. 

“So, we’re some sort of government research department?” Eddie asked, fiddling with one of his dice. “Huh, that’s not exactly the usual fantasy setting I’m used to.”

“If Dustin had tried to do you any favors, he would have also given you the notes about what to expect with this game.” you said, shooting Dustin a look. 

“Don’t worry, it’ll be fun.” Lucas said, looking over at Eddie. “We’ve played with her before.”

“I want to ask around to see if anyone knows anything about this carnival.” Will said before the conversation became more derailed. 

You guided everyone through the town, allowing them to talk to NPCs and gather information about this mysterious carnival. Once darkness had settled over the village, you took your time describing as a fog rolled into the town and the villagers boarded up their windows and doors. 

Those with tickets were able to enter the fairground easily, but Dustin’s character needed to sneak in, and almost died in the process. It was a nice little bit of karma. 

You described the Midway and gave everyone the chance to play games, and unlock the mystery of the carnival. Once you got into the groove of storytelling, you were finally starting to relax. 

Well, until Will wanted to cast a spell. 

You grabbed your notes and flipped through the handbook to look at the spell in question. “Alright, roll for me.” you said. 

Will dropped the dice on the table. “That’s... 17.”

“Modifiers?” 

He shook his head. 

“Perfect, you manage to cast the spell successfully and-”

“Wait, what about the components?” Eddie asked, messing with his D4. 

You looked over your haphazard DM screen. “What about them?”

Eddie didn’t even look at you, choosing to direct his attention to Will, which kind of pissed you off. “Do you have the components for that spell?” He asked. 

You took a deep breath and tried to remind yourself that Dustin hadn’t given him the rundown of your house rules. Still, you weren’t thrilled how he had ignored you to talk to Will. 

“I don’t run the components rule, Eddie.” you said, saying his name a bit louder to get his attention. He looked at you now as you stood up from behind your screen. “Did anyone bring a copy of the notes I sent?”

When no one had, you sighed and flipped through your notebook that was holding every piece of information about your campaign. Wincing internally, you grabbed the pages that you had carefully written out your house rules and ripped the two pages out. 

“Since Dustin did you a disservice and didn’t give you any warning at all about this, here are the rules we’re playing by.” you said, as he took the pages, his eyes scanning your chicken scratch handwriting. He looked confused as he read everything over, but you just wanted to get back to the game. 

The rest of the evening went by as successfully as you could have hoped. You led the party through a house of mirrors where they fought an evil clown and retrieved more clues about the mysterious carnival. It wasn’t everything you had wanted to do with the session, but with how rusty you were, you weren’t going to complain. 

“Alright, and I’m done.” you said after describing how Lucas had taken down the clown, turning it to dust. “We’ll pick this back up next week.” 

You stood up and stretched, as everyone started gathering their things. Looking at the clock, you had a little bit of time to start cleaning up before your aunt got home. Take down decorations, pack up food, do dishes, and go over notes for next week while it was still fresh. Simple. 

“So, are you coming back next week?” you asked Eddie. Despite the minor hiccups, Eddie had been a passionate player, and had no trouble getting into character. There was that minor issue where he seemed to struggle with the idea that these kids were in your party now. You didn’t hold it against him. You just kept reminding yourself that Eddie had been their DM for almost a year, was clearly more experienced than you were, and the kids did have a strong bond with him. You hadn’t been in town for years and were just getting back on your feet. 

It was fine. Not anyone’s fault. 

Maybe Dustin’s. 

“Do I need another ticket?” Eddie asked, grabbing his dice. 

You shook your head with a small smile. “If I gave you one, would you give it to someone else?” you asked, eyeing Dustin who just groaned. 

“If I did, I’d warn you that I was subbing someone in.” Eddie grabbed the top of Dustin’s head and shook it. 

“Look, I’m sorry, okay?” Dustin said. “I got caught up in everything and forgot!”

“Don’t worry, one day I’ll forgive you and you’ll earn your shiny new dice set.” you teased. 

Grumbling something under his breath, he and his friends grabbed their things and started packing up their backpacks to head home. 

“The rest of the campaign will probably happen on Wednesdays or Thursdays.” you said, grabbing a piece of scrap paper and jotting down the number to the Henderson home. He might have already had the number, but you had no way to know that. Plus, with you spending the rest of the summer here, you weren’t exactly wanting to spend every moment of your free time hanging out with a group of kids that couldn’t drink or drive. Eddie would at least be an age appropriate friend. 

Okay yeah, and he was really fucking attractive and you wanted to give your number to a cute boy. Could anyone really blame you for that? Sure, there had been some points during the game where you and him and butt heads a little, but you were sure that since he had your house rules it would go smoother next week. 

Eddie took the paper and put it in his jacket pocket. “And should I dress up next week to match?” he asked, glancing up at your hat. 

In all the stress and excitement, you had actually forgotten that you were meeting this person dressed up in a cheap Ring Leader costume that had been made specifically for entertaining the children. Blood rushed to your face and you crossed your arms pretending that you weren’t feeling just a tad bit embarrassed. 

“By all means, dress up.” you said with a shrug. “I’m very generous with my players for being creative. I’m not above giving out inspiration to those who impress me. Or bribe me.”  

You liked the way Eddie grinned at you, and there was a look in his eyes that said that he was up to any challenge you’d throw at him. “I’ll be sure to keep that in mind.”

“I told you I should have brought my robe and wizard hat!” you heard Will say to Mike. 

“Shut up, it would have been dorky!” Mike responded. 

“Do you two not see what she’s wearing right now? If there was a time for you to let yourself be a dork then it would be with her campaign.” Lucas added with a shake of his head. 

“I can hear you all, you know.” You said loudly. “Keep it up and I’ll start making it personal during the game.”

“Dude, let’s go before we piss her off.” Mike said, practically pushing Will and Lucas out the door, Dustin following behind to see his friends off. 

“I’ll take that as my cue to leave.” Eddie said, offering his hand. “Not bad for a first session.”

“Thanks.” you took his hand, and his handshake was surprisingly strong. He wasn’t trying to crush your hand or anything, but you could feel how firm it was. 

With a promise to call you to find out when the next session would be, Eddie turned and left. You followed out to the porch, watching as his van pulled out of the driveway and disappeared down the street. 

Fuck, you were exhausted now. You had forgotten how much mental work went into running the game. You figured you had just enough energy to clean up before passing out and sleeping until noon. 

By the time you finally made it to your bed, you felt braindead. The past few days were catching up to you now. In such a short time you had made the long drive to Hawkins, set up in a new room far from home, realized that the kids you knew were no longer kids, and might have made a new friend. 

That night, your dreams were filled with thoughts of fighting against evil clowns with Eddie Van Halen while Will criticized your battle outfit. 

a/n: I really should be working on the ending to Wing Man, but instead I worked on this lol.

Also, this is Chapter One but there was a prologue posted in the Master List.

No tag list yet but if anyone wants one let me know, or follow the story on AO3.

I'll fix any mistakes in post when I haven't been up since 6 am for work lol

[zapreportsblog]

Twilight

Marcus x Lioness Shapeshifter Reader

Reader is 5 ft 11 inches. She has long red hair that goes down to her knees when not put up. She is twice as tall as Sam when he is in wolf form. The reader owns several weapons like throwing knives, a crossbow and two katanas. The kings and the four elite guards are lead outside where the reader is teaching Nessie how to use her weapons.

After a while an unknown vampire shows ups and tries to use his fire power against everyone, he goes towards the twins first but the reader shifts and push them out of the way.

The reader and the unknown vampire get into fight that last a couple of minutes. The vampire gets destroyed and the reader ends up with a couple of scratches.

Feel free to add anything else..

❝the hybrids protector❞

✭ pairing : Marcus volturi x reader

✭ fandom : twilight

✭ summary : (y/n) is a friend of the Cullens family and one day while she is training, Edward and Bella‘s daughter, the volturi pays the family a visit, and before you know it, a fight breaks out, but not because of the Volturi  but because of the Norman vampire that suddenly appears

✭ twilight masterlist

In the quiet town of Forks, where supernatural beings coexisted with humans, lived a remarkable young woman named (Y/n). She stood tall at 5 feet 11 inches, her fiery red hair cascading down to her knees when left untied. (Y/n) possessed a unique ability - she was a lioness shifter, a powerful combination of grace and strength.

Among the supernatural community, (Y/n) was known as a close friend of the Cullen family, particularly Alice. Having spent countless hours together, they had formed a bond that was unbreakable. (Y/n)'s loyalty and protective nature made her a valuable ally to the Cullens.

One sunny day, the tranquility of Forks was interrupted by the arrival of unexpected guests. The three Volturi kings and their four elite guards had come to check on Edward and Bella's hybrid child, Renesmee. As the Cullens welcomed them into their home, (Y/n) couldn't help but feel a sense of unease in the air.

Curiosity got the better of her, and she excused herself from the polite conversation unfolding inside the Cullens' residence. (Y/n) made her way outside, where she found Renesmee practicing with her weapons. (Y/n) had always believed in being prepared, and she had an impressive arsenal of weapons at her disposal - throwing knives, a crossbow, and two gleaming katanas.

With a smile on her face, (Y/n) approached Nessie, as she was affectionately called. "Hey, Nessie, mind some company?" she asked, her voice filled with warmth.

Nessie's eyes sparkled with excitement as she nodded eagerly. "Of course, (Y/n)! I've been practicing my aim with the crossbow. Want to join me?"

(Y/n) chuckled softly, appreciating Nessie's enthusiasm. "Absolutely, little one. Let's see how much you've improved."

As they stood side by side, (Y/n) watched with pride as Renesmee took aim and expertly shot an arrow, hitting the target with precision. (Y/n) couldn't help but marvel at the child's natural talent and the potential she held within her.

Little did they know, their practice session was about to be interrupted by the arrival of the Volturi. The sound of approaching footsteps caught their attention, and they turned to see Aro, Caius, and Marcus, accompanied by their elite guards.

(Y/n)'s eyes narrowed slightly, her protective instincts kicking in. She positioned herself between the Volturi and Renesmee, ready to defend her friend and the Cullen family if necessary.

With a welcoming smile, Alice stepped forward, greeting the Volturi leaders. "Hello, gentlemen. It's been a while."

Aro's eyes flickered with interest as he scanned the surroundings, his gaze eventually landing on (Y/n). "Ah, (Y/n), the lioness shifter. A pleasure to see you again. I trust you've been well."

(Y/n) nodded politely, her eyes never leaving the Volturi. "Likewise, Aro. But forgive me if I say I'm a bit curious as to why you've paid us a visit."

Aro's smile widened, his tone dripping with charm. "Oh, nothing to worry about, my dear. We merely wanted to ensure the welfare of our little hybrid friend here." He gestured towards Renesmee, who stood close to (Y/n)'s side.

(Y/n)'s grip tightened around the hilt of her katanas, her protective instincts heightened. "Well, I assure you, she is in good hands. We take her safety very seriously."

As the conversation continued, (Y/n) remained vigilant, ready to spring into action if needed. She knew that the Volturi's visit could potentially disrupt the peace they had all worked so hard to maintain. But she was determined to protect her friends and ensure that no harm befell Renesmee.

As the conversation with the Volturi continued, a sudden chill ran through the air. The Cullens and their guests turned their heads to see an unknown vampire approaching, his eyes filled with malice. Without a word, he unleashed a torrent of fire, aiming directly for the twins, Alec and Jane.

Instinct took over (Y/n) as she swiftly shifted into her lioness form, her massive body barreling towards the twins. With a powerful leap, she pushed them out of harm's way just in the nick of time, shielding them from the incoming flames.

The unknown vampire's eyes widened in surprise, momentarily distracted by (Y/n)'s protective act. Seizing the opportunity, (Y/n) sprang towards him, her claws unsheathed, and let out a fierce roar.

The fight that ensued was a whirlwind of strength and agility. The unknown vampire, fueled by his fire power, attempted to strike (Y/n) with waves of flames. But (Y/n)'s shifter abilities allowed her to dodge and weave through the fiery onslaught, her feline grace on full display.

With each swipe of her powerful paws, (Y/n) aimed to disable her opponent. She clawed at his chest, leaving deep gashes that sizzled with his own fire. The unknown vampire retaliated, attempting to burn her with his searing touch. But (Y/n) was quick, her instincts honed from years of training.

As minutes turned into an eternity, the battle raged on, the clash of fire and fury reverberating through the air. The unknown vampire, growing increasingly desperate, unleashed a massive fireball, aiming to engulf (Y/n) in its destructive embrace.

But (Y/n) wouldn't be so easily defeated. With a burst of speed, she lunged forward, her jaws clamping down on the vampire's arm, tearing through flesh and bone. A howl of pain mixed with the crackling of flames filled the air.

The unknown vampire's strength began to wane as (Y/n) relentlessly attacked, her determination unwavering. With one final swipe of her paw, she sent the vampire hurtling through the air, crashing into a nearby tree with a resounding thud.

Silence settled over the battlefield as the dust began to settle. (Y/n) stood tall, her fur singed in places, but her eyes gleaming with triumph. The unknown vampire lay motionless on the ground, his body broken and defeated.

As the Cullens and the Volturi gathered around, their expressions a mix of awe and gratitude, (Y/n) took a moment to catch her breath. She had successfully protected her friends, but not without a cost. Her fur was matted with blood, and she bore a few shallow scratches, reminders of the fierce battle she had just fought.

Alice approached (Y/n) with concern etched on her face. "Are you alright, (Y/n)? That was incredible! You saved us all."

(Y/n) nodded, a weary smile playing on her lips. "I'm fine, Alice. Just a few scratches. It was worth it to protect everyone."

The Volturi, though initially skeptical, couldn't help but express their admiration for (Y/n)'s bravery and skill. Aro stepped forward, his eyes gleaming with respect. "You are truly a remarkable ally, (Y/n). Your loyalty and strength are unmatched."

(Y/n) inclined her head in gratitude, acknowledging the compliment. "Thank you, Aro. But let's not forget that we all stood together. We are united in protecting what we hold dear."

As the sun began to set, casting a golden hue over the battlefield, (Y/n) couldn't help but feel a sense of pride. She had faced a formidable opponent and emerged victorious, proving her worth as a fierce guardian. The bonds of friendship and family had been tested, but they had only grown stronger.

As the dust settled from the intense battle, (Y/n) stood alongside Alec and Jane, their bodies still trembling from the adrenaline rush. The twins exchanged bewildered glances before turning their attention to (Y/n), gratitude and curiosity etched on their faces.

"Why did you save us, (Y/n)?" Jane asked, her voice filled with a mix of surprise and genuine curiosity. "We've never been on the best of terms."

Alec nodded in agreement, his usually stoic expression softened with gratitude. "We appreciate your help, but we never expected you to put yourself in harm's way for us."

(Y/n) looked at the twins, her eyes filled with sincerity. "It doesn't matter who you are or what our history may be. In my eyes, you are still children, and I won't allow any harm to befall a child under my watch."

A flicker of understanding washed over Jane's features as she considered (Y/n)'s words. "But we're not innocent, (Y/n). We have done terrible things."

(Y/n) gently placed a hand on Jane's shoulder, her voice filled with compassion. "No one is born evil, Jane. We all make choices, and sometimes those choices lead us down dark paths. But it doesn't mean we are beyond redemption or unworthy of protection."

Alec's eyes softened, his usually guarded demeanor giving way to a vulnerability rarely seen. "You've shown us kindness, (Y/n), even when we didn't deserve it. We'll never forget that."

(Y/n) smiled warmly, her heart swelling with a sense of fulfillment. "Kindness is not given based on merits, Alec. It is shown because it's the right thing to do. And I believe in giving everyone a chance at redemption, including both of you."

The twins exchanged a glance, their expressions filled with newfound hope. For the first time, they felt the weight of their past actions lifting, replaced by the possibility of a brighter future.

As the Cullens and the Volturi regrouped, the bonds of trust and understanding began to strengthen. The events of the battle had brought them closer, forging a unity that would prove invaluable in the trials to come.

(Y/n) knew that her act of protection had not only saved the lives of the twins but had also planted a seed of change within their hearts. She had shown them that they were not alone, that they had allies who believed in their capacity for growth and redemption.

With the battle behind them and the lessons learned, (Y/n) vowed to continue being a guardian for those in need, regardless of their past. Her resolve to protect the innocent and offer compassion to those who had lost their way burned brighter than ever.

As the battle-weary group dispersed, Marcus, the quietest of the Volturi, approached (Y/n) with a soft expression of concern. "Allow me to tend to your wounds, (Y/n)," he offered, his voice gentle yet filled with a hint of sincerity.

(Y/n) hesitated, surprised by the unexpected offer from the stoic vampire. However, she recognized the genuine concern in his eyes and nodded in acceptance. "Thank you, Marcus. I appreciate your kindness."

They moved away from the others, finding a secluded spot where Marcus could tend to her scratches. With a graceful touch, he examined her wounds, his fingers cool against her skin. As he worked, his eyes seemed to hold a mixture of sadness and longing.

In the quiet solitude, Marcus broke the silence, his voice barely above a whisper. "You possess an extraordinary heart, (Y/n). Your actions today, defending those children without hesitation, have shown me a depth of compassion I thought lost to me."

(Y/n) looked up, meeting Marcus' gaze, her curiosity piqued. "What do you mean, Marcus? Are you saying there was a time when you had compassion?"

A wistful smile played at the corners of Marcus' lips. "Long ago, I was not always so detached. There was a time when I believed in love, in the beauty of life. But tragedy befell me, and my heart became consumed by grief, leaving me numb to the world around me."

(Y/n) listened intently, her heart aching for the pain Marcus had endured. She reached out, gently touching his hand. "I'm sorry for what you've been through, Marcus. But don't lose hope. Love and compassion can be found again, even in the darkest of times."

A flicker of emotion crossed Marcus' eyes as he looked down at her hand resting on his. "Your words resonate within me, (Y/n). Perhaps there is still a chance for me to rediscover what I've lost."

(Y/n) smiled warmly, her touch conveying comfort and understanding. "Never underestimate the power of second chances, Marcus. Life has a way of surprising us, revealing hidden paths we never thought possible."

The moment between them lingered, filled with unspoken emotions and the promise of a connection forged through shared experiences. As Marcus finished tending to (Y/n)'s wounds, he couldn't help but feel a glimmer of hope rekindling within his immortal heart.

With a final touch, Marcus withdrew his hand, his gaze full of gratitude. "Thank you, (Y/n), for allowing me to care for you. You have given me a gift today, one I will not forget."

(Y/n) nodded, her eyes shimmering with kindness. "The pleasure was mine, Marcus. Remember that you are never alone. We all have our own battles, but together, we can find strength and purpose."

They rejoined the rest of the group, the weight of their conversation lingering in the air. As they faced the uncertain future, (Y/n) and Marcus carried with them a newfound understanding, their paths intertwined by the healing power of compassion and the possibility of love rediscovered.

[nicodwhw]

Exalted Secret Santa Journal 2024

Played Exalted (thank you @no-one-should-have !) for the first time this year and had an absolute blast with my dog chew toy of a character! Accidentally made him all sorts of fucking weird so enjoy lol

Zheka/Жека

First image by me, second is by @leodicapricornn and it is Perfect!

Type: Twilight Solar Caste (have u ever seen a librarian that operates out of a dumpster? now u have!)

Height: about 5’ (or 5’9 if he decides to use his spine for once)

Hair: black, short and messy with a raccoon tail on the right side (he probably just chops it himself when it gets too annoying)

Eyes: big and shiny, black and mostly covered by undereye bags i mean raccoon markings

Style: he’s been only switching out clothing items when they completely disintegrate, currently he’s on two tank tops (one close to non-existence) and patched up shorts he stole a few towns ago

Other physical attributes: lanky, malnourished and covered in scars from his years on the streets as he tries to find any clue as to what happened to his parents, the small pendant with a blue stone the only tie he has left to his life before. he also got some sickass piercings in his big raccoon ears as well as a pair of dimple piercings in his cheeks. his gender is what’s that? you can draw him as fluffy and/or as sunburnt as you desire!

Zheka was pulled out of a trash can right before our first session began, bit me and went back to his books (which he sometimes burns for his deity). Just a lil raccoon creature going about his life in the most raccoon way possible!

[layraket]

Word count: 1,784

Summary:

Hyrule gets separated of the chain, meets a bunch of funny-looking creatures.

The last time Hyrule checked he was with Legend.

Now he was in the middle of castle town, all by himself.

The last portal threw them in Twilight’s time, and for some reason he got separated from the group. Hyrule planned to search for them in the most logical place, but now he was the thing after lost. They shouldn’t be very far from there, this has been happening lately and they always reunite soon enough.

That was when he was in a forest and it was easier to move.

The people were pushing him, for the position of the sun it must be noon so it makes sense that there’s a lot of movement here.

“Look where you walk, kid!” An old man yells after getting pushed by Hyrule, he didn’t even see him coming.

He murmurs an apology and gets going again searching for his group. His mind is starting to get a little fuzzy for the amount of people. Now he misses how in his time there’s less movement in the cities, it was easier and less overwhelming.

When he gets out of his thoughts he’s in an alley. It smells very bad, he’s not going to lie, but at least the sound of voices and people yelling isn’t so present anymore.

Now he just needs to think this right, if he wants to reunite with the chain he needs to move to some place where he can see them easily.

The problem is exactly that, he can’t move anywhere he wants in this place.

-

I had to give Hyrule a cat okay

[joodles98]

what are ur headcanons for nessa ....

omg ☺️

i dont think she intended to become a model. she started getting gigs and brand collabs offered to her immediately after her gym challenge run bc of her looks and style and making it all the way to the semifinals. (i believe she became a gym leader around the same time rai did, like late teens close to early 20s) she decided to pursue it to keep her name out there, and as an opportunity to talk about her connection with water pokemon and passion about battling

she met wallace once through one of her modeling gigs and shes a bit intrigued about trying a contest, sometime. mayhaps as an encore career after retiring from the galar league

she did gymnastics and dance as a kid

her partner was a little chewtle she befriended collecting sea shells when she was small. i love how most of her pokemon look tough n armored

feels pretty obvious she grew up in hulbury. tight knit working class fam of Fisher Trainer Class pokepeople. her aunt and uncle run a seafood restaurant. her grandpa was a lightkeeper of the lighthouse and would let her come up to the top sometimes when she was little n its been her favorite place ever since. (such a missed opportunity the game doesnt let u go inside) she adores her fam and they support her interests in fashion and also her big battling ambitions. when the gym leadership became vacant of course she auditioned. i think her town is so proud of her/a reflection of who she really is (hardworking, somewhat stoic, truly breathtaking, unpredictable like the force n restraint of the ocean tides)

she met sonia early in the challenge (i hc that sonia decided not to travel with leon. but we are talking about ness 2day). they both were two lonely girls sitting on opposite ends in the back of the train trying to look stoic and tough and occupied and also gasp thats another challenger that makes us competition. until yamper couldnt contain his curiosity about the chewtle across from him n jumped from sonia's arms. ness assumed who is this girl trying to battle right now 🤨 and sonia apologizes that shes not its just that yamper seems curious about u. actually i do too. ...N then the rest of the ride turns into the biggest yap session + theyve been inseparable since.

i think she teaches sonia a lot about pride + finding your way. while sonia teacher her remembering who you are (like we see in twilight wings). i think sonia is so embarassed at first to be recognized as a Magnolia but then when they get to hulbury n she sees how unique nessa is in her hometown but shes loved regardless it makes her brain chemistry explode.

shes really close with raihan, tho they didnt start becoming friends until after they became gym leaders. turns out they have more in common than they thought when they met as little challengers. (she thought rai was a massive dork with his dragons and history books. still does a lil bit 💝). they indulge eachothers habit of talking league gossip. also rai seeks her advice on his own drama(leon pining) and she eats it up. when shes doubting an outfit for an interview he hypes her up. (since theres a lot of Nepotism within galar gyms, the fact that rai and ness earned gym leaderships on their own is smth they relate over too) its nice to have a friendly face in the league when the pressure is up.

i think abt her twilight wings episode a lot. i like to think she won the match in the end, then called sonia (who ofc was watching it televised back in wedgehurst) just to say how much her words empowered her. n maybe tell her other things 💙

literally its such a lovely episode. lowkey sobbed a bit the first time i saw it. the little pieces of ourselves we carry

also. with the way rose interrogated not only her confidence but her competence, how could she not trust the smile leon wears in his matches after that? if thats how the chairman could talk to a gym leader then what the hell does the champ put up with. deeply unsettling. i think she is skeptical but not in the Detective Way rai is in everything happening pre-darkest day. she is the type to be focused on whats in front of her right now: be a great gym leader, a tough opponent, a role model, yk

despite that, tho, i think what fuels her wanting to beat leon is some resentment, knowing the void he left in sonia and how he either seems oblivious about it or minimizing of it. (also at first she thought sonia was hurt by it bc she had a crush on him. which later ness finds out isn't true). shes also a bit of the jealous type but thats ok so am i

i think she begins to finally consider leon a friend again when he's chairman and has worked out everything that happened between him and sonia. it's also a lot easier to approach him with league matters than it ever was with rose

she still considers milo her biggest rival, though hes a sweet friend. hes a sweetie to everyone. i think it was his idea to gather ness and kabu to send off trainers who defeat them

thats all i can think of rn 💐

[reddpenn]

Let us know how the D&D game went!

Sure! The turnout was a bit smaller than my usual group due to a bunch of Adult Scheduling Conflicts, but I honestly prefer DMing for smaller groups anyway. This was session zero, so it was mostly just establishing lore and rolling up our characters.

We went over the lore of my homebrew setting. We’re doing an urban fantasy set in a film noir-style fantasy city - built vertically into the walls of a massive sinkhole. The economic boom caused by the town’s mithral mines have turned it into a cultural melting pot, populated by diasporas of elves, orcs, drow, humans, etc. It has also attracted its fair share of organized crime, such as the powerful elvish mob known as the Gabbro Family. The players are part-time private eyes who own Deepwell Detective Agency, a small detective agency in the depths of the city, where the sinkhole’s walls cast the streets into perpetual twilight and the Gabbro Family rules with an iron fist.

We rolled up some characters! (We’re using Pathfinder as our system for this one, ‘cause I like it the best.)

Jericho is a drow witch who’s a young student at the city’s college of magic. They're accompanied by their familiar, a tophat wearing hedgehog named Hazel, and their imaginary friend reality-challenged friend Impy. After reading tons of mystery novels, they aspire to be a Detective Conan-style kid detective. But their sheltered upbringing in the upper levels of the city has left them naive and unprepared for the realities of being a private eye.

Homes is a monkey-goblin investigator who traveled to this city looking for adventure and new experiences, but has since fallen into the mundane routine of doing construction-related odd jobs. A dexterous and handy little guy who’s good at building things, he built the Deepwell Detective Agency’s headquarters and the other players pay him rent to use the place. He insists he’s just their landlord, but as the cleverest of the group he often gets caught up in solving mysteries with them.

Perdita is an aasimar sorcerer who runs a simple tailoring business in the lower levels of the city. Few people know about her past as a thief, but she once had ties to the Gabbro Family, who took her in and raised her after she was abandoned as a child. After being caught and forced to work with the police for a while, the Gabbro Family disowned her as a failure and a traitor. Her past and ties to the criminal underworld will come in handy when it comes time to solve some crimes.

With what little time we had left after all that, the characters interacted and got to know each other a bit! They solved a small mystery, helping a little girl find her missing friends - and eventually discovering that these “friends” were bullies who had purposefully ditched her. Homes gave them what they deserved by scaring them and stealing their lunch money. Now the players are ready to go out into the city and SOLVE SOME MYSTERIES!

[kostudies]

2nd november 2023 ; I felt quite ashamed and disappointed during the morning. I also got mid-terms to prepare for next week and I'm stressed about it. I don't even know how to correctly express my disappointment in myself, without making it a big deal. For now, I'm taking the evening for myself (kingdom hearts brainrot is activated).

plan study sessions for the weekend and monday.

one lesson of portuguese and spanish on duolingo.

read for a bit before going to sleep.

get a little gift for my internship tutor.

♡₊˚ 🎧 ; a kingdom hearts playlist based on twilight town for my need of nostalgia and to feel something in this all.

[linksthoughtbrambles]

Offers and Offense

Chapter 2 of The Shade, the Cloud, and the Sunrise. TP Zelink. Also on ao3 here. You can find chapter 1 on Tumblr here.

Zelda’s maid gasped upon entering her chamber, seeing Zelda already fully dressed, standing before her mirror, her gaze directly at the woman’s eyes rather than her own reflection, as though she’d known precisely where and when she would be.

She’d become a practiced listener in the quiet of the Twilight. None of them would understand that, of course. Zelda kept it to herself.

“Y-your Highness,” the maid said with a swift curtsy, her hand curled at her throat.

Zelda nodded. “Good morning, Melinda,” she said, her own voice distant in her ears.

“Would- you like your tea? There’s biscuits this morning, princess, and clotted cream, and honey.”

“That will be lovely, thank you,” Zelda said.

Zelda took her breakfast standing, sipping tea quietly as a handful of women fussed over her appearance. It scalded her tongue and the roof of her mouth. It didn’t concern her.

The women smoothed her dress’ most inconspicuous wrinkles. They assured not a single hair deviated from her long plait and wraps or emerged from beneath her crown.

One of them hovered before her, thought-lines appearing as she studied Zelda’s face, considering where or even if to deposit the minimal rouge at the tips of the soft brush in her hand. She’d rarely spoken since the first such session, after the day the castle had cracked—once its halls had begun to repopulate.

“You are so very fair, Your Highness! There’s hardly a bit of you which needs makeup,” the budding cosmetologist had said.

Zelda didn’t doubt her sincerity. She had become doubly aware of the effect her presence had on people since her return after the battle in Hyrule Field. She continued to gaze at her, unblinking.

The woman’s smile faltered.

Zelda realized she’d forgotten her own smile—she manufactured a small one, with a slight bow of her head. “I thank you, Sherize. I trust your judgement.”

Sherize hesitated, then chose to forego foundation entirely.

Zelda had practiced her smile since then, watching herself in her long mirror. She could not allow her inner state to further stain her people’s opinions of her.

“She’s scary,” one of the returned-guards had said around the corner. Zelda’s footsteps had been soft—she’d rounded the corner many breaths ago and paused at the window, eyeing the rubble. Midna had huffed and continued on to join Link in the square.

“I guess. Is she half Zora, half Gerudo?” his companion asked.

“Huh?”

“With the orange hair and the blue skin! What do you think?”

“Not her! The Princess.”

“Sh- keep your voice down!” A shuffle and soft metallic sounds floated through the hallway. “Yeah, she is,” he said softly.

“I don’t think the king would’ve ordered that pyre.”

“Who even was that guy?”

“Dunno but he looked Gerudo, too.”

“Last Gerudo man was executed ages ago.”

“There’s stuff we don’t know, though. Maybe he was the guy under that mask.”

“No way, too tall.”

“You sure?”

“Absolutely. This guy was a monster of a man.”

“If you say so, I didn’t get that close.”

“And you can’t tell me it isn’t creepy for her first order in ages to be to burn a man.”

“Well. It’s not like he was alive.”

“No, no, but- it’s strange. And what even happened to the man in the mask?”

“No idea.”

“I mean, she just is alone in the castle for months, and then suddenly everything’s fine again? She got deposed!”

“Man, really—you’re talking too loud.”

“I’m not loud.”

“Loud enough.”

“I just- she scares me.”

“Would you rather everything still be screwed up?”

“Of course not-“

“Or that mask-man was sitting on her throne?”

“What if he is?”

“What?!”

“We don’t know what happened in here. Maybe it’s just more magic, and it just looks like her.”

“No way. She says Link and the foreign princess drove him off, and Telma says Link’s the real deal, and so does Auru, and Ashei.”

“Link’s just some kid from Ordon.”

“Exactly, though. You walk through town, everyone likes him. He’s even nice to the damn cats.”

“There are so many cats.”

“They’re gonna run out of mice to eat.”

“It’s not like we all don’t feed them.”

“They’ll be eating us out of house and home if they keep having more kittens.”

Zelda’d slipped away as the conversation meandered toward kitten resettlement.

It had been another reason she’d hoped Link would stay. She’d lost her kingdom days after inheriting it. She couldn’t blame her people for lacking trust.

She’d wasted no time in appointing Ashei as one of her new captains. She’d have been mad not to.

When Zelda’s maids finished their fussing, Zelda had a slight dusting of rouge and a subtle shine to her lips. She’d eaten half of a biscuit with cream. It had tasted of sandpaper and warm snow.

“Take your breakfast if you please, Princess,” Sherize said, eyeing her plate. “I can touch you up after.”

“I’ve had enough, thank you.” Zelda nodded to each of her servants and stepped into her court slippers.  They watched with palpable apprehension as she secured her rapier to her side. They’d protested the first time—said it “interrupted her figure.” She’d thanked them for their opinion and donned it anyway.

She found herself gripping the hilt, though the sword still rested in its scabbard. It felt more solid than anything else: yet another illusion. It had not availed her when Zant carved his way through the soldiers to the foot of her fledgling throne.

One of the maids shuffled her feet.

Zelda strode out her door and made for the throne room. She was meant to hold court that morning. She oughtn’t delay. Her people’s concerns were her own, and she would hear them, even if the world stagnated at the edge of her skin. Her reason remained. She would use it.

She slowed just past the threshold of the great, marbled hall at the sight of guards, their spears crossed before a delegation bearing the heraldry of Holodrum.

So.

It would begin today.

It would begin even before the Golden Goddesses meant to watch over Hyrule’s monarch were repaired. Their neighbors clearly wasted no time.

She forced her hand not to twitch toward her rapier, ascended the steps to her throne, and declared her court in session.

--

Link had managed to slink his way through most of Castle Town unnoticed—partially because he’d swapped his hat for an ordinary hood, but also because he’d arrived at the very cusp of morning, his eyes drawn to the spire he knew to be Princess Zelda’s. For a moment, he’d even thought he saw her, a tiny mote on a distant balcony—but he’d shaken his head at himself. It was too far and too dark.

The cats sure noticed him, though. The racket they made meowing at him as they chased him down the street probably woke half the town. He hadn’t had any choice, really—he had to stop. They were clearly in need of pets and snuggles. He was clearly in need of courage, and since he wasn’t going to walk into Telma’s bar and order it in liquid form (and get yelled at), reassurance in the form of cat-love would be all the help he’d get. Besides, they’d have followed him right on through the castle gates, otherwise. Gengle wouldn’t let him go without a full-on shoulder snuggle, and it had taken quite a few tries to pry his claws from his clothing before he managed to get all four feet off him at once and set the now-slightly-put-out cat down on the cobblestones.

It had taken a hearty bribe in the form of jerky to keep the cats on the cobblestones.

As he walked away, fruitlessly brushing at the multicolored hairs now adorning his clothing, it occurred to him that the other bonus to the hood was the buffer between the cats and his tunic—not that there wasn’t cat hair down his front (and his forearms, hands, shins and boots…). There absolutely was. But when he swapped the hood for his hat, he’d look slightly more dignified.

He ascended the steps to the gate, slowing as he approached what appeared to be the back of the line. He stopped about six feet behind them, eyeing their clothing. Most of them seemed to be in some sort of uniform, their traveling cloaks somewhere between burgundy and brown in the shadow of the gate, with embroidered trim that scattered flecks of light. Most of them wore studded leather, but the man in the middle wore some kind of darkened mail, and the fur at his cloak’s edges stuck out wild at all angles, rather like his long black hair.

Something about all of it gave Link pause. He… didn’t know anything about foreign affairs—but these didn’t look like any Hyrulean soldiers he’d ever seen, whether in the royal family’s guard or otherwise. He stood very still and quiet, just waiting.

One of the men sniffed. Another flexed his shoulders.

One at the very back spoke softly. “When do you think they open up?”

“When the queen’s ready,” another said in a bored voice.

Someone else snorted. “She’s not the queen yet.”

“Whatever.”

“Careful,” said the man in the middle. “You say something like that about our Crown Prince, you regret it for the next decade.”

Link couldn’t see why pointing out a simple truth should cause that. Then he blinked. Their Crown Prince.

“She’s not the Prince, though,” said snorting-man. “She’s…”

“Weak,” the soft-spoken man at the back supplied.

Link’s hackles stood on end.

“Don’t bet on it,” said the man in the middle.

Link willed himself utterly silent and invisible, his breath less than a single flap of a butterfly’s wing.

“I’d bet on green,” said the bored-sounding man.

“Yes,” the man in the middle said. “That.”

“She’s a woman,” someone at the front-right sneered.

“Thank you for that assessment, Puett,” the middle-man said, the sarcasm in his voice so subtle it would be easy to miss. Link had heard so much of it exit Midna’s mouth, he could hardly fail to recognize it.

“What I mean,” Puett said, “is we can’t expect too much.”

Link’s lip curled.

“They’re all gilding and glitter, noblewomen. Fancy cloths and jewels.”

“Soft hands,” another agreed.

“And feet,” said another.

“Don’t bet on it,” the man in the middle said yet again.

“Ahh, they are, though-“

“Rumor is this one carries a blade,” said middle-man, cutting Puett short, though apparently he wasn’t done.

“Ha! Can she use it?”

“Keep talking like that. Maybe you’ll find out.”

Puett hummed irritation—Link could hear the beginnings of a growl, the audible signs of the man’s nose wrinkling in displeasure. He’d spent enough time growling himself to know its every intonation.

The men seemed to take the middle-man’s warning as a cue for silence. Some of them shifted from foot to foot. The bored man craned his neck, his face fully skyward. Link still couldn’t see his eyes.

A series of thumps and jittery clangs heralded the sight of early light, a pale gold filtering through the very end of twilight’s blue, through a slit between the doors of the gate wailing its way open. For an instant, Link saw the Twilight in its colors. He shut his eyes against it—only for a moment. There were no strange motes of black, too flat and too square to be real, but real nonetheless. It was just a trick of the light.

“You may await the Princess at court,” someone said. Link could put a face to the voice—a tallish man with an overlarge moustache, if he remembered right.

The middle-man’s response was a nod and a small grunt. He and his men approached the gate. Link moved to shadow them, keeping his face bowed and hood pulled up. Maybe no one would recognize him—he might even seem like one of this procession or go unnoticed, since most of them were six or more inches taller than him.

As Link crossed the threshold into the courtyard, a pitiful meow sounded behind him, and he winced.

The man beside the soft-spoken one turned, scanning the ground—then he saw Link.

There was nothing for it.

Link smiled and waved.

The man gave a half-grimace and turned forward once more.

It was about as well as Link could’ve hoped it would go.

Another meow arrived, long, drawn-out, and warbling at what must have been the tempo of a cat’s pitter-pattering feet. It was moving so fast it got louder from proximity alone, and Link winced again twice: once at the sound itself, and again at the freaked-out glare he got from the man who’d turned again.

“What’s your problem?”

As Link opened his mouth to answer, he realized the man thought he’d been meowing, and he really, really had no idea what to say about that.

It’s not me, look back there!

I don’t meow, I howl.

What’s your problem? With women, I mean.

“Chh,” the guy spat and faced forward once more.

Hyrulean guards led them up the steps and into the throne room, and Link was pleased to see it lined with soldiers—hopefully more prepared than they were before the coup. Link tried to eye them without looking suspicious. He almost groaned when he saw Natley (who hadn’t agreed to escort Ilia and Telma to Kakariko) scratching the tip of his nose with his spear haft and Barm slumping on his.

These guys needed to wake up. Hadn’t they learned anything?

Link shook his head at himself.

Of course they hadn’t. These were the people who didn’t die with the King because they hadn’t been escorting him, the people who didn’t die outside these walls trying to stop Zant from getting in. These were the green and the ordinary, the ones who’d stood frightened as twilit spirits while Link literally crawled on all fours like a dog to free them.

The soft-spoken man’s head turned, his eyes on Bram, and he smirked.

They really needed to wake up. Now.

Link’s sword-hand flexed as he wondered if the visions had brought him here for exactly this. Maybe she needed him. Maybe she needed someone in this room who could pull their weight in battle.

Spears crossed in front of the group, and they halted. Link leaned to peer around them, then stepped to the side to make the peering permanent. The throne and dais were empty.

Puett cleared his throat.

Middle-man’s head shook almost imperceptibly.

And Link jumped about a mile when something dragged across his right calf. He looked down, nonplussed, to see a small cat—still a kitten, though not a baby anymore—with white and stripey-tan patches winding between his legs, rubbing first one, then the other. It bopped its head into Link’s shin with a little shake and a flop, and if he weren’t trying to be totally silent, he’d have chuckled.

Link’s gaze snapped back up at the sound of movement at the eastern wall.

Princess Zelda appeared in the doorway, her steps pausing for a moment in a way which seemed perfectly considered, intentionally timed to announce her own presence, her attention immediate upon the man in the middle. She moved to the dais without delay, her strides long, her pace calm, and her eyes filling with a withering intensity with each rising step up to her throne. She stood, taller than Link even remembered, her expression utterly immobile and her beauty effortless. Intimidating was far too pale of a word to describe her presence there, staring wordlessly down at them, the still-broken statue of the Golden Goddesses and the Triforce a halo marking her somehow terrible—frightening—and though Link had lost all ability to breathe, his heart leapt in his chest, pleased not only to see her like that, but also at the feet, the shoulders of the men before her, shuffling back, ducking, cringing almost imperceptibly, their heads twitching toward each other as though to silently ask if their companion was just as cowed.

Soft as the embers of hell, this Princess was.

Only the man in the middle hadn’t flinched, but Link could see it in his face in profile, just barely. His eyes had widened.

“All hail Princess Zelda Constantiana Hyrule,” rang a clear voice beside Zelda—an older man’s, but strong. “Acceding Monarch of Hyrule, Heir to the Keys of All Realms, Arbiter of Wisdom, and Defender of All the Peoples of Hyrule.”

Link’s mouth was still hanging open when people began to bow their heads—he almost missed bowing his own. He raised it to see her utterly unchanged, as though shaped of porcelain.

“I hereby declare my court in session,” she said, her voice a solid lance.

The room had stilled entirely.

The man in the middle stared at her a long moment, and she at him.

One of the Princess’ thin eyebrows arched.

The man stepped forward and bent his neck as was proper. “Your Royal Highness,” he said. “I am Prince Vale of Holodrum.” He raised his head. “I bring greetings and a message from my royal brother Thelgran, Crown Prince of Holodrum, Guardian of the Oracle of Seasons, Bearer of the Slayer’s Ring and the Holy Ring of Seasons. I offer my seal and my brother’s on his behalf.”

Zelda inclined her head, and a shuffling of feet signaled some exchange between Vale and the man who’d announced Zelda. Link couldn’t quite see—but a few moments later, Zelda nodded. “What message would your brother convey?”

A quiet beat passed.

“It is an offer of marriage, Princess.”

A flurry of scoffing twitters, huffs, and grunts passed through the space as Zelda’s brows rose.

Vale held a sealed envelope above and before him. “This letter is for your eyes, Princess—but I know of its contents. I am granted the power to speak for my brother.”

Zelda nodded at her attendant, who took the letter and offered it to her. She raised her hand, barring it. “Though I shall read this letter, I must convey not only am I not yet inclined toward marriage, and that I am not inclined toward marrying Prince Thelgran—I am diametrically opposed to a marriage which would leave Hyrule without an Heir Apparent.”

She paused, her eyes hard on Vale’s, as though waiting for him to protest.

She continued when he didn’t. “Does Prince Thelgran offer to abdicate his throne and become beholden to Hyrule alone?”

He took a deep breath through his nose. “My brother proposes a union of our two nations.”

Link’s lips parted as a murmur swept the room. The kitten at his feet thumped him with a purr, as though it thought whatever tension had been in the air had ended.

“That is unacceptable,” Zelda said simply.

Link had no idea how she could say it with such perfect calm.

“Prince Thelgran-“ Vale drew a short breath- “expected that to be your initial answer, but he begs your indulgence. He is- concerned- about the security of your borders.”

Suddenly the cat’s purring was the loudest sound in the room.

Zelda’s chin had risen slightly. “How neighborly of him.”

Vale nodded. “The darkness which covered your lands was impossible to miss, even from many leagues away. When news of your father’s death reached us, his concern grew even stronger. Please accept our condolences, Princess,” he said with a deep bow. His jaw worked as he rose, and Link thought, for a moment, he might be grinding his teeth. “My brother has sent some of his finest men to render assistance along the borders between our two nations, but he cannot guarantee the safety of your citizens without assurances from you.”

“I imagine the assurance he seeks is my acceptance of his offer.”

“As you say, Princess.”

If she’d turned that look on Link, he’d have backed into the nearest wall, Triforce of Courage notwithstanding. Vale withstood it, somehow, though his breath came quicker, his shoulders rising and falling visibly with tension.

Something drew Link’s eye downward—and he didn’t like what he saw.

The men, on the whole, seemed to have recovered from their initial shock at the Princess’ formidable presence, and their eyes were wandering—not only to Bram and Natley, but to the others, sizing them up, and Link swore one of their hands twitched like they were thinking of starting something. Link’s body tensed, his own hands spreading, ready to draw, and it was as though he’d flipped a switch.

The kitten leapt up the back of Link’s leg, its claws digging in painfully, and he let out a tiny sound of surprise. Every person in the whole room spun on him as the kitten let out a spectacular meow, and when the Holodrum men nearest to Link drew their swords Link moved so fast his sword rang clear as singing glass off the marble. The others flinched, and the soft-spoken man moved to disarm Link.

A flash of steel found the soft-spoken man’s sword clattering on the marble, instead.

“Halt-halt!” Vale called, his eyes wide and gloved hands outstretched for calm, and as his gaze landed on Link, the kitten’s face made its appearance over his shoulder, one of its clawed feet hooked around his bicep.

“Meaaaaow,” it called.

Vale’s face twitched.

“Gentlemen,” the Princess said.

They all turned toward her except the one who’d glared at Link on their way in. He eyed the kitten warily.

Zelda’s rapier was in her hand, her grip firm and her stance flawless. “I submit to you that if Holodrum’s soldiers are made so uneasy by the presence of a cat, your concern over border security is likely misplaced.”

“Away with your swords,” Vale muttered.

They hesitated, though they’d lowered them.

“Away,” he hissed.

They complied, a grumble of confusion passing between them.

When the last of them had finished, Zelda sheathed her rapier and found Link’s eyes at last. He swore, just for a moment, a tiny smile pulled at the corners of her mouth. “And who is this keeper of cats in my court?” She asked.

She totally knew.

The cat clambered so its chest rested fully on his shoulder, the claws of its other front foot now firmly entrenched in both his hood and his tunic.

“You ought to sheathe your sword as well,” she said, “yet I fear in doing so you may harm your passenger.”

Said passenger meowed in his ear and he sighed, barely managing not to roll his eyes. He rested the tip of his sword on the ground and pulled back his hood, bowing his head at the neck just as the others had done. “Your Highness,” he said.

He’d never figured out how to say hello to her.

She inclined her head. “Link.” She flicked her eyes toward Vale, then back. “To what do I owe the honor of your presence at court?”

Glaring-man looked him up and down as though trying to work out why Link’s presence would be an honor.

“I-“ he floundered, his mind somehow blank despite all his rehearsing- “I’d like to offer my service, Princess.”

She blinked, her expression unguarded for a moment, as though those words were the only thing that had surprised her so far. “Your service?”

He nodded. “As a Knight of Hyrule, if- if that’s still possible.”

That definitely wasn’t how he’d rehearsed it. He fought a grimace while the cat purred and rubbed its cheek on his ear.

His hair was going to be such a mess.

A small sound, half-a-laugh and half something softer than that left the Princess. “I accept your offer, Link. It is easy to do so when the offer is sincere.” She side-eyed Vale, then turned fully toward him, drawing herself somehow taller. “On the other hand—threats woven amidst offers so poor as to be offensive are, and shall always be, unacceptable.” Her eyes narrowed. “So much so that one wonders whether acceptance is even the aim.”

Vale didn’t move a muscle.

“You shall have a letter detailing my response by tomorrow morning,” Zelda said. “Ashei will see to your safe-keeping until then.”

Link stepped aside as several of the guards made to lead the delegation from Holodrum away. He hadn’t even noticed the smattering of townsfolk and travelers who had gathered before the mouth of the throne room behind them.

Vale gave Link a long, considering look as he passed. Link waved, and one of the men who passed near him sneezed on his way out.

“Link,” the Princess called.

He turned to her.

“Please approach the throne.”

He tried not to make it obvious he suddenly felt out of breath. One foot in front of the other—he neared the dais, suddenly wondering if he was supposed to kneel or something when he got that close. She didn’t give him any hints, either. When he reached the bottom step, she stepped down and spoke quietly.

“I must attend to my court,” she said, nodding toward the gathering behind him. “I would speak with you directly after. Unfortunately, Ashei will be occupied. Would you be willing to wait in the antechamber?” She pointed to the door she’d emerged from.

“Of course, Princess,” he said.

She nodded. “Ralz?”

A man with glasses in a blue robe stepped forward.

“Please ensure some refreshment for Link and his- ah-“ she peered at the cat, who seemed far more content than a cat should be when hanging on a person’s shoulder- “his- companion.”

“Yes, Princess.”

As Ralz led him to the nearby chamber, Link gave the cat a hearty and apparently very welcome series of pets on its head and ears. “You enjoyed all that, didn’t you?”

The cat purred and purred.

“You need a good name. You’re some kind of tension-diffusing machine.” He huffed. “Or tension-causing one, I don’t know. Both. Still, I don’t know if that would’ve ended as well if you hadn’t been there.” The men's behavior replayed in his head. “I kind of feel like swords might’ve been drawn either way.”

Link took a seat at a hefty oaken table, giving chin-scratches to his new friend, wondering again if the visions had dragged him here for a reason—for this specific reason—for Holodrum—or if this was just a day in the life of the soon-to-be queen, and the source of his unrest had yet to reveal itself. Either way, the strange interruptions of his reality seemed to have calmed down for the moment.

The doors were open.

He settled in to listen to the court, figuring she’d intended him to, anyway.

---

Here's my masterlist.

[the-conversation-pod]

The ITSAY Anniversary Show, Part 2

WE'RE BACK FOR PART 2!

Following up on our panel for I Told Sunset About You, we brought @liyazaki back to chat with NiNi, @ginnymoonbeam, @lurkingshan, @neuroticbookworm, and @emotionallychargedtowel about I Promised You the Moon. NiNi is probably the biggest IPYTM stan on Tumblr. Join us as NiNi and Ben unpack the nostalgia of Last Twilight in Phuket before the panelists dive into the importance of this half of the Teh and Oh-aew story.

Sit back and listen to the panel discuss Teh's consistent characterization, the way Jai took advantage of that, and the role of queer community in young adult life.

Timestamps

The timestamps will now correspond with chapters on Spotify for easier navigation.

1:16 - Intro 8:00 - Panel Introduction 8:45 - How did you come to BL and IPYTM? 14:35 - Expectations of IPYTM 22:40 - Narrative Structure 31:36 - Teh and Oh's Characters 37:57 - Presence or Absence of Queer Community 42:33 - Relationship Conflicts 47:05 - That Snake Jai 1:01:38 - The Ending and Character Development 1:15:23 - Favorite Scenes 1:23:51 - Outro

The Conversation Transcripts!

Thanks to the continued efforts of @ginnymoonbeam as transcriber, and @lurkingshan as an editor and proofreader, we are able to bring you transcripts of the episodes.

We will endeavor to make the transcripts available when the episodes launch, and it is our goal to make them available for past episodes. When transcripts are available, we will attach them to the episode post (like this one) and put the transcript behind a Read More cut to cut down on scrolling.

Please send our volunteers your thanks!

01:16 - Intro

Ben

And we're back! Following up on our I Told Sunset About You retrospective we are going to move towards I Promised You the Moon. We brought a different collection of panelists this time, but before we get into NiNi’s session with the panelists, NiNi wanted to first discuss Last Twilight in Phuket with just the two of us. NiNi, describe what Last Twilight in Phuket is for the people who may have missed it because they only watched on Viki.

NiNi

I'm not going to describe it, because I'm just going to tell you: hit pause, go to Youtube, find it and watch it.

Ben

I'll describe it for you!

NiNi

Let me describe it, I never get to describe anything anymore, so I'm going to try. 

Ben

I'm proud of you, go for it.

NiNi

So! Last Twilight in Phuket is a… transition piece, if you will, between I Told Sunset About You and I Promised You the Moon, that covers Oh-aew’s final day in Phuket. So they spend the whole day together, they wake up together, they go around town together. They discover that everything around them is changing, in a very very melancholy way that honestly made me want to… pull my hair out, scream, and cry all at the same time. And they recommit to each other, and then they literally ride off into the moonlight, on their way, essentially, to Bangkok. I feel like that covers it? I didn't do as well as Ben, but I think I covered everything.

Ben

Last Twilight in Phuket is that summer after graduation before you go to college. It is the best summer of your life. It is a Bryan Adams song.

[both laugh]

Ben

Last Twilight in Phuket is really fascinating as a choice overall. It's available on Youtube still, it's beautiful. You get this 16-minute, almost short-film-esque piece, that is this huge release of some of the tension from ITSAY. Before you're heading into I Promised You the Moon. Like I knew I Promised You the Moon was gonna be a dramatic mess, because Last Twilight in Phuket is tinged with this whole ‘you can't go back’ feeling about it. 

One of my favorite scenes is when they attempt to go to the beach together, and it's not the same, because it's a bunch of people there. You get this feeling that they both wanted everything to be perfect between them, and it just cannot be, and it never will be. And I just really love, as you called it, the melancholy hanging over that really beautiful experience. Because it's them saying goodbye to their hometown and everything that it means to them. They know this is the end of an era for themselves, and there's this… trepidation about what's coming next that I eat up every time.

NiNi

As somebody who has left my home for an unknown space, an unknown place, at least twice in my life [laughs] … there is that feeling of trepidation. There is that feeling that when you return, nothing's gonna be the same. It's all gonna be different. Having that actually brought to the fore in the way that everything is already different for them, in terms of the places that they're accustomed to being? Their tutoring school is closed down. The private beach that they went to is closed. Things that they had come to rely on—places and spaces in particular that they had come to rely on as their places—were just gone. And what it sets up is that they have to now find new places and spaces, not just because they're moving to another city, but even in their hometown. Their hometown's never gonna be what it was and they are never gonna be the same boys who ran around Phuket crying at each other… ever again. It's all going to be different. Everything's going to change. And that is sort of the essence of Last Twilight in Phuket. It's setting you up, it's preparing you for what's about to come. And it's also just saying goodbye to the things that have gone. It's saying goodbye even to the present moment. So even as things are happening, they're slipping away. 

My favorite scene in Last Twilight in Phuket is the scene where their beach is closed, and they have to go to another beach that's more of a tourist beach, and they're surrounded by people when they're accustomed to being alone in this kind of way. And you wonder like, if Teh is gonna be more reserved because now they're in public. But they're also, like Ben brought up in the last episode, they're also in a tourist space. So they're surrounded by people, yes, but they're surrounded by people who don't know them and who they don't know. So they're free in a way, they're open, and what that allows them to do, they can just be themselves with each other. Teh holds his hand. He puts his arm around him. He hugs him so tightly on that beach when Oh starts crying. It's such a beautiful scene, and it's just so vivid in my mind because of what it represents. They are, like I said, surrounded by people, but the way that the scene is shot, it's like they're the only two people in the world. 

That little short is so beautiful, and it's a perrrrfect, perfect, perfect way to close off the I Told Sunset About You story, and open up the I Promised You the Moon story.

Ben

I agree! You should watch it. It's good, and it's also free and it's available. There's no reason for you not to watch it.

08:00 Panel Introduction

NiNi

So our panel of I Promised You The Moon experts: our lovely transcription team, Ginny and Shan, hopped on this one as well as, once again, friend of the pod Mor: @liyazaki. And we were also joined by two new guests. Bookworm, @neurotic-bookworm on Tumblr, and Susan, @emotionally-charged-towel on Tumblr. And I think that we had a fabulous conversation. I can't wait for you to hear it, so let's dive right in.

08:45 - How did you come to BL and ITSAY/IPTYM?

NiNi

Welcome, welcome, panel of experts! Yes, these are the I Promised You The Moon experts. Let's start with ah, an easy, like a softball question: how did you come to BL, and how did you come to this I Told Sunset About You/I Promised You The Moon story? Shan, let's start with you. 

Shan

I think I have a very unusual path to BL, I kind of came in via kdrama? Where Your Eyes Linger was my first one that I found when I was just perusing the next kdrama I wanted to watch, and then I realized that there was an entire genre of BL after I saw that, and fell quickly down a rabbit hole. Discovered Thai BL, first Thai BL was 2gether—because that was very popular [laughs] at the time that I was looking around, which was in 2021?—and quickly watched a whole ton of GMMTV shows before I Told Sunset About You came on my radar. And I was kind of blown away by ITSAY, it just felt so different from everything else I had seen of the genre. It felt, in a lot of ways to me as a Westerner, more familiar—it was kind of a classic coming of age story, a classic kind of queer awakening story that I had seen before in Western media in some ways, although very specific I think to a Thai queer experience in a way that was very new for me.

NiNi

Bookworm you're up next on my list. How did you come to I Told Sunset About You and I Promised You The Moon?

Bookworm

My first BL was Kinnporsche, which I watched in May of this year, and I then joined Tumblr just to meet some, I don't know, like-minded people I suppose? And I made some friends and then, all of you immediately told me that I had to watch I Told Sunset About You. You had rules about how I had to watch it [laughs] and so I did I Told Sunset About You with Aiden, and I watched I Promised You The Moon with Shan. This is very different from what I've watched so far: I've only watched around twenty shows approximately, but this feels more like, as Shan mentioned, more of a coming of age. It's also very—much more Asian than the other shows that I watched so far. It immerses itself into the culture, the characters have specific traits that are more Asian. Yeah, it was a very fun watch experience. 

NiNi

Bookworm you’re like me, we keep the numbers low but we go for the quality ones. Susan how about you?

Susan

It's funny because Shan was saying that it seems like an unusual path to go into BLs through kdrama, but that's what happened with me too. The first BL I ever watched was To My Star—I just kind of saw it as another kdrama. I didn't really pay very close attention to it, and it's not a show that really rewards, like, half-attention. So it didn't really take hold until a bit later, and actually the first BL that got me really like watching a lot of BLs is Senpai, This Can’t Be Love.  I watched that one because it had two actors in it that were on Kamen Rider and my family are really into tokusatsu. That was kind of my path into the genre in general, and then of course you can't read about this stuff, especially in communities like the Tumblr fan community without hearing about I Told Sunset About You. There are some titles that sound more odd in English, without a cultural context for the countries they come from? And those would kind of stick in my mind a little bit more. And then of course you know I just heard glowing things. My big focus for a long time was, and kind of still is, Japanese BL. That's one of the reasons I hadn't watched it until just recently.

NiNi

Ben's gonna love that, you know Ben is a big big fan of the Japanese BLs. Ginny, let's go to you: how did you end up here on our esteemed panel?

Ginny

I guess this is the Asian drama background group, because I came in through cdramas; I was deep in the Untamed fandom from 2020 on, and got into reading translations of Chinese danmei, BL novels, and the few other adaptations that were available. Because I was studying Mandarin, I resisted getting into other Asian countries’ dramas for a long time, because I was like ‘this is language practice.’ But I saw gifs from Manner of Death, and I was like, ‘wait! wait! They let the boys kiss?’ So… then I had to get into BL. I actually held off on ITSAY for a long time, because I'd been hearing that it was good, and I was like, I know a lot of these are are okay and enjoyable but not like, “quality,” and I want to not blow through all the good ones right away. So I started saving it. And then more came out, and more good shows came out, and I realized, oh there's actually a rich field of quality dramas here. And then I just was like, emotionally afraid, because people kept talking about what an intense experience it was? So I didn't finally watch it until earlier this year, and it was everything that had been told to me. Frequently when I go in expecting something to be intense, it's disappointing, or you know, it falls short of that? This series did not.

14:35 - Expectations of IPYTM

NiNi

That it certainly did not. Mor, I know you would have talked a little bit about the way that you came to BL on the ITSAY panel. So I want to kick off the next part of this with you. So we’re coming off of ITSAY in the halcyon days of whenever we actually watched it, and we get to the end and boom: the story will continue. When you saw that, Mor, what was your expectation of what we were gonna get in this continuation of the story that ended up being I Promised You The Moon? What did you expect going into this?

Mor

So, when I am deeply attached to a story the way I was and will always be with ITSAY, I try to go into follow-ups to those stories with as close to zero expectations as possible. It's a defense mechanism, I'm just very afraid of being burned and disappointed, so I try to not let myself go down those mental rabbit holes of what could happen, because getting stressed out and theorizing—it's not going to change the outcome, we're going to get what we're going to get. You hope that the writers will listen to the fans, you hope that they stay true to what we at least perceive to be the spirit and intention of the original story, but ultimately it is their story to tell, So I try to just get on board, strap myself in, enjoy the ride whatever it's going to be. 

But my general expectation was that we would see some very relatable situations play out, so, living on your own for the first time, being totally responsible for yourself, finding new friends, having very new experiences—especially for Teh and Oh, given where they grew up. Bangkok is such a different environment than Phuket. And all the while they're trying to maintain friendships, they're trying to maintain their relationship. That age is just so exciting and terrifying and constantly in flux, and I expected I Promised You The Moon to showcase that. And it absolutely delivered: just, in a much more gut-wrenching way than I ever maybe originally anticipated, but one that nonetheless still rang incredibly true to life at least for me, and to these characters, which at the end of the day is all I can really ask for as a viewer.

NiNi

Guts were wrenched and no mistake. Bookworm, you're a recent convert to the legend of IPYTM as I like to call it. What did you expect having finished ITSAY, and getting ready to dive into IPYTM? What were your expectations of the story?

Bookworm

When we got to the end of ITSAY, one thing that was very clear for me was that Teh and Oh were seemingly on the same page? They finally were talking to each other and listening to each other, but only on the burning desire that they share for each other, right? Everything else that encapsulated a relationship, they had to figure all of that out, and that was my expectation. Immediately after I ended ITSAY, that was what popped into my head. And I wanted IPYTM to explore those, um, aspects of their relationship, how they were going to figure out living together, how to… spend time with each other, balance the schedules, and all of the other boring things that come with a relationship. And I think yeah, they were pretty successful, I would say.

NiNi

Shan, I'm gonna come to you next. What were you thinking of, having ended ITSAY, seeing that title card come up and then going into IPYTM? What were you thinking that we might get?

Shan

I came in with a lot of stuff already in my head about IPYTM, because as I tend to do, I had been lurking about on Tumblr—that's how I learned about this show in the first place, I probably never would have found this show without seeing people talk about it on Tumblr—so for both ITSAY and IPYTM, like, I kind of went in with like a notion of what the discourse was around them? So, similar to Bookworm, I felt that the next phase of the story would have to be them figuring out how to actually be in a relationship together which, frankly is one of my very favorite reasons for a season two to exist [laughs] of romances? We so rarely get that part of a romance story. 

But I also knew that there was a lot of fandom discontent around this second part of the story. I knew going in that there was a cheating plotline and that people were big mad about it. And I had seen the commentary from some people that Teh had been quote-unquote “ruined” in the second part of the story, and that he was quote-unquote “out of character.” And having seen ITSAY and the quality of that production, and the quality of the writing—like some of the best writing I've seen anywhere in the genre? I just didn't believe that was true, at all! [laughs] So I kind of went in, honestly, ready to fight, and just kind of like prove to myself that those takes were wrong? I went in with a fighting spirit, like, ‘I don't believe that that's true, and I bet this story is so much better than they think, and that fandom just wasn't ready for it.’ So that's kind of honestly the posture that I took into the show. And you know, spoiler alert: they were wrong and I—and we here on this panel—were right.

NiNi

[laughs] Shan came in ready to box. What about you Ginny, how did you feel going into I Promised You The Moon? What were your thoughts and expectations?

Ginny

Very similar to Shan, I had kind of picked up a lot about it by osmosis. I was sure that there was going to be a breakup, I had picked up that there might be cheating, and I knew that a lot of people hated Teh. I left ITSAY loving Teh so much, and also seeing very clearly why people might hate him, the things about him that a lot of people would pick up and be really upset about. So, I think I went in with my expectations… pretty well set for all of that, and… I was just excited to see how the story was going to play out. I also had a lot of trust in the writing and creative talent behind the show, so I was ready to be satisfied by the story, and I was!

NiNi

Coming to you Susan, let's hear it? 

Susan

Well, I haven't seen I Promised You The Moon. I don't mind spoilers, I actually kind of like to be spoiled on almost everything as much as possible. As much as I seek out media that has really a lot of emotional themes, I also can't handle them very well. So knowing what I'm in for really helps me. And it doesn't seem to detract from the experience for me. 

ITSAY seems so self-contained, and so much about a certain moment in time? And it's so tied to the place. It makes it really hard to even picture what it would look like to tell this story, at a different phase of life, in another place. Everybody's a little bit fearful of second seasons and continuations of beloved shows, but if I'm really sold on the initial show, when I hear there's going to be more? Yeah, I'm nervous, but I'm just like yeah, yeah, more okay, sure, great! Yeah, whatever you say just give me more! This is one of the only times that I did kind of feel like hanging back for a moment and being like, ‘how would that work? I don't even know.’ At the same time, I do usually prefer stories about established couples. It just gets at a kind of complexity that is really appealing. As exciting as getting together stories are, the established relationship story is usually kind of where the rubber meets the road. And I like when things get challenging and complicated and people definitely aren't being their best selves anymore, things like that.

NiNi

Definitely there was a lot of that in IPYTM. 

22:40 - Narrative structure

NiNi

So, I'm gonna just switch things around a little bit, I want to talk about how IPYTM is structured, the narrative structure, the story coming out of the very clear five-act structure coming of age story that we got in ITSAY. And I want to really lean on Shan and Bookworm for this. Starting with Bookworm: what are your thoughts on how I Promised You The Moon is structured and organized as a story?

Bookworm

Well when I went into the watch, I was already told that there were going to be a lot of time skips in the show compared to ITSAY. ITSAY was much more fluid and flowing, and it was contained within, I think, just months. But when it came to IPYTM, we had a lot of blocks of time that were left for us to fill. I expected the characters to have breaks—like how the characters would have developed during the times that we have lost, and there would be fractures in the character that we would see? I expected that to happen because that usually does happen when we have a lot of time skips. But it was impressively well-maintained through the time skips, and it did not bother me as much as I expected that it would? Maybe because I was informed beforehand that, this is how, narratively, the structure of the two shows were different. 

Also we see the boys grow up a lot more in the show, right? So there was a sense of, sped-up nature in the show that we did not get in ITSAY as well? I have noticed a sense of discomfort around this narrative structure, but I felt pretty okay with it, maybe it's just a personal preference or maybe it was because I had prior knowledge, but it felt fine to me.

NiNi

Shan, you want to pick up on that?

Shan

I think that the way that we jump through time so much in IPYTM is like the biggest obvious difference, right? So ITSAY was structured kind of like a five-act story, where each episode was a complete act; big shift happens in the relationship in each episode. But IPYTM is different. It's kind of, I think, a three-act story split across five episodes. So you've got episodes 1 and 2 is Act 1, where it's the move to Bangkok, it's the new setting, it's the adjustment, to kind of moving into an adult phase of their relationship? And then into the first fracture in their relationship, related to some of the adult choices that they're having to make. That's kind of Act 1. And then there's a big time skip between episode 2 and episode 3. And episodes 3 and 4 are like Act 2. There's a pretty short time period that both of those episodes span across? Like, maybe only a few weeks of time. And that's of course the BIG big fracture in the relationship, when Teh begins to really drift away from Oh-aew, and ends up kissing Jai, and all of the fallout of that that we saw play out. And then there's another big time skip after the end of episode 4, and we're—head into episode 5, which is their kind of time apart and then their reconciliation. So it really kind of feels like three acts, kind of spread unevenly across five episodes. And each of those installments is paced differently. So I can see how—and you know I think I felt some of this myself as a viewer—it feels a little bit, I think hard to kind of keep your bearings in the story? Whereas in ITSAY you were on one continuous fluid ride, like Bookworm said. 

IPYTM also has to fall back on some filmmaking tricks that ITSAY really didn't use, I think because of this structure. Things like using a lot more flashbacks, using repeating scenes… ITSAY really didn't do that at all, but it happens quite a bit in IPYTM: kind of trying to remind the audience and ground them in things that have happened, because they're skipping through time so much. 

One of the things, that I think is maybe an intentional result of that different structure, is about the emotional tone of the two stories. ITSAY—it’s very emotionally immersive. Like I think on the panel discussion you all had about ITSAY, you talked about how these boys are constantly crying. The emotions are big, right? And that feels very in line with one continuous emotional story, a coming of age story about young boys who are kind of coming into themselves and understanding themselves for the first time. IPYTM, by contrast, feels a little bit more even-keeled. Like, there are emotions, but they're not quite as big. There's a little bit of a remove, and I think that's because they're adults now. Think about the way Teh cries in ITSAY, versus how he cries in IPYTM. In ITSAY he's like honking crying right? He's got like snot dripping down his face, losing his shit, curling into a ball. He has no control at all. In IPYTM when he cries, it's not like that. He does have to kind of keep a lid on it a little bit. He doesn't go quite as deep into his emotions. And so, I think the way that the narrative structure is set up kind of lends itself to that more adult feeling? Of having to restrain your emotions a little bit, and keep getting on with things, and not being able to just kind of wallow in the way that they could when they were young. 

I don't think that one of these styles is better than the other? I think they are just different. And I think that as a viewer, we're probably all going to have a preference there. My preference personally—I like big emotion, you know? And one of the things that Bookworm and I talked about around this, was how there's a little bit of a Western/Eastern dichotomy here as well. I'm a Westerner, I like the bigness of the emotion in ITSAY, that really resonates for me. Whereas for Bookworm, the kind of, more emotional restraint that we see in IPYTM? Resonated a little more for her, and I don't know if you wanted to comment on that at all Bookworm.

Bookworm

Yeah, the bigness of emotions in ITSAY was definitely a factor that disengaged me from the emotion? For me, whenever a character on the screen does not want to feel something, and wants to keep it inside themselves and struggling to do so, and you can see it on the face, the struggle to keep their composure? While having all of this emotional turmoil within themselves? That is what will make me feel all of the emotions that they are trying to feel. I didn't really get that sort of immersion when I watched ITSAY, because Teh and Oh did all of the crying themselves. They cried constantly: they cried in classrooms, they cried [laughs] around their friends, there's just a lot of crying. 

When it came to IPYTM, the emotions were much more subdued. In both of the big moments in Oh and Teh's relationship, when it came to a head—in episode 4 when they fought, and afterwards Teh goes to Q's house to talk to Oh—in both of those moments, both of them were angry, they were confused, and Teh's having the moment of realization of how he has fucked this up, and all of those emotions were dialed way back down. And I definitely felt much more immersed into the story, when it came to IPYTM than I felt in ITSAY.

NiNi

It's really interesting that that's the stuff that you guys picked up on because, in watching the documentaries—and I don't know how many of you have watched the IPYTM documentaries as yet—but one of the things that the director, Meen Tossaphon Riantong, talks about, particularly in that scene in episode 4 that you mentioned Bookworm, is about how when they were doing it they had to do multiple takes because Billkin was crying too much. He was being too emotional, and he needed him to dial it back because he's a grownup now. It was definitely deliberate on the part of the director.

31:36 - Teh and Oh’s characters

NiNi

While we're on the topic of how Oh and Teh are handling emotion, let's delve a little bit into their characteristics, and how that even led them to be where they are, in the rift that they have in IPYTM. I want to start with Mor here: I want to talk a little bit about the different ways that Teh and Oh handle conflict, and the different ways that they… deal with their relationship and how that led them to be in such a pickle [laughs] during I Promised You The Moon.

Mor

That's a very generous way of putting what happened. [laughs] It was definitely a pickle. 

They approach conflict I think in polar opposite ways. Oh wants to talk things through, typically. He's more measured in his approach; you can tell even in ITSAY when they're still in high school that he will kind of wait and absorb and observe. But he wants to be open, he wants to talk things through, and he's very self-aware, whereas Teh doesn't know what he's doing or what's going on. Some of y'all have heard me use this analogy 1200 times already and I'm sorry, but for me, it always comes down to Teh being the equivalent of a human bulldozer. That man, he feels and he acts first, second, and third—and then he maybe thinks fourth or fifth on a good day? [laughs] And I think part of that is just his personality. He's extremely passionate, he has been since he was a kid, and that passion is one of the things that drew Oh to him in the first place. I also think that Oh was basically Teh’s touchstone in many ways from the time that they were kids? So when that relationship was severed, we never got evidence of any other connection that ever came close to that level for Teh. So I think in a way, Teh's emotional intelligence got stunted a little bit when that friendship stopped? And you can really see the difference, the contrast with Oh when they meet up again later in ITSAY. 

Oh seems to make friends easily, he's well-liked, he's already incredibly self-aware and comfortable with who he is. When he gets into university one of the first things Oh does is seek out community. He values relationships. Like I said before he's more measured in his approach to life and to friendships, and because of that he has this emotional maturity and awareness going in to IPYTM that's light years beyond Teh? Teh just doesn't know how to put what he's feeling into words, and beyond that, Teh doesn't even seem to be aware of how he's really feeling in make or break moments that really count. It takes him much longer to process it and be able to communicate that. To top it off, Teh's tunnel vision is so focused on becoming an actor, and the friendships he makes are either accidental or they're initiated by other people, and he seems to minimally invest in them? Except for once Jai had him under his spell of course. 

Teh also wants things to stay exactly the same, we see that a ton in I Promised You The Moon. Teh just does not cope well with change. It's like he wants to willfully ignore that it's an unavoidable part of life. When their friendship ended initially Teh lost the main person in his life who in my opinion challenged him, which Oh did just by nature of being himself. Oh doesn't have Teh’s one-track mind determination, which of course brings its own set of issues and insecurities for Oh, but it also opens him up to seeing more possibilities, something that Teh has a hard time even conceptualizing. And I think because of this Teh got even more one-track minded once he started drifting away from Oh in IPYTM? Teh’s basically rigid in a time where it is crucial to be flexible. He's blind to the fact that not everyone operates in the same way he does, especially his partner. 

So basically you have these two people coming into this relationship with incredibly different ways of approaching life. One partner with subpar communication skills—and I'm being generous with that. [laughs] And they're in a new environment with new routines, new people, new challenges. These are differences that may have never become an issue in a friendship, but a romantic relationship? You can have the best intentions in the world, but when you have that much fundamental imbalance in an intimate relationship, that's a powder keg ready to explode. It leaves the perfect window of opportunity for snakes like Jai to take advantage of that at the first chance that they get.

NiNi

Yes, join me in the “Jai is a snake” corner over here. [laughs] I want to come to you Susan actually, because having not watched I Promised You The Moon, and just listening to everybody else talk about how Teh and Oh have progressed within I Promised You The Moon and the way that their relationship comes apart—but having watched ITSAY, does it surprise you how things went with Teh and Oh coming out of ITSAY?

Susan

Ah, no, not at all, it actually seems really in keeping with the characters, and their kind of styles in how they relate to each other and, how they negotiated their relationship in ITSAY. I think it's really consistent.

NiNi

You heard it here first from our resident behavioral expert, people: Teh is not out of character.

Susan

People get into kind of complementary roles in relationships. It can be kind of one person's job to do certain things and voice certain types of needs, and another person's job to do the things that that role isn't taking care of, and voicing the needs that that person is afraid to voice, while maybe not voicing some needs that the other person is voicing. Big example of that is pursuing and distancing. A lot of relationships have some kind of imbalance between who's pursuing and who's distancing. The thing that I think kind of sums up pursuers and distancers is that it's about what you do when you're in distress. When a pursuer is in distress they're looking for connection, and distancers, when they're stressed, they want to get away. Again and again we see Teh just disappearing, when he's distressed, and kind of making it everybody else's job to track him down.

NiNi

You're taking us to church here. [laughs] 

37:57 Presence or Absence of Queer Community

NiNi

I want to come to Ginny. One aspect of the character stuff that came up during Mor's contribution, and it's come up with Susan as well: this idea of Teh being more of a… lone wolf kind of character, whereas Oh always finds community, and when he moves to Bangkok he finds queer community where Teh does not. I have always felt like part of the way that things went between them was because Teh had no community to talk to about the things that he was experiencing and feeling?

Ginny

I'm having so many thoughts in response to what Susan said, and in response to your question. They both do seek connection, but Oh-aew is much much more interested in community, in friendships, in sharing himself in a fluid kind of balanced way. Teh has this intense drive for a one-to-one, deeply intimate, deeply entwined connection. He's not interested in friendships especially: he wants people to, like, bind their lives with his, he wants people to, like, twist their identity into his. 

I want to go back to a couple of the things Susan was saying about the pursuer distancer dynamic first, which is that we do see Teh work very hard for the relationship in practical ways. Like he's the one keeping late hours and driving all over town to make sure he can spend the night with Oh, and he never once complains about that or resists that, because he is devoted to Oh in this way. But he has a very rigid conception of what that looks like, and as soon as the idea that they're not on this same career path, on the same path of artistic passion together? As soon as that's shattered, his idea of this unified partner that will walk aside him and share everything important in his life starts to crack, and he starts to look away from Oh-aew, and eventually to look to someone else for that kind of connection and bond that he feels like he needs. And for Teh at this point, his understanding of his sexuality has become kind of a non-issue, whereas his binding of his romantic interest and his artistic passion is where all of his turmoil lives. 

Meanwhile Oh-aew has made this wonderful friend group. I recently rewatched the series, and their first interaction where he first meets Q and the other friends… the first time I watched it I was so tense because Oh's loneliness and his homesickness is palpable and painful at that point in the story, and you just desperately want him to have somebody. And he sits down with this crowd of kids and you're not sure what's going to happen. It's not obvious right away that they're queer unless you're paying close attention, like, Q’s fingernails are painted, there's little cues there, other things like that. And then within two seconds of meeting them, Oh-aew starts crying because he's so homesick, and I was like ‘oh god, what's going to happen, I'm so stressed for him.’ But these boys just like surround him, they're so sweet to him, and then it becomes clear. Right there you've established, this is a queer friend group and every time you see them together there's just all these indicators that like, these are people that Oh can be at home with, can come into more of himself with, can be supported by. The way they hold him through the breakup makes me cry. Because it doesn't take away any of his pain, but they're so there for him. He's never alone and he's never unsupported. It makes a tremendous difference to how I think things go at the end. I don't think Oh gets to a place where he's able to come back to Teh at the end, if he doesn't have that community support holding him really through his whole college career and especially through the breakup.

42:33 Relationship Conflicts

NiNi

I want us to delve into some of these different things that Oh’s friends are supporting him through, that Teh doesn't seem to have the same level of community on. Their initial conflicts, the early stuff that was happening, the things that are happening with them in year one and particularly the giant fight that they had in episode 2. I'm going to come to Shan for this. 

I love talking about how horrible Teh is in episode 2 of I Promised You The Moon, because that boy was being rancid. But I also want to talk a little bit about how the seeds of that were sown in the little cracks that you saw in episode 1.

Shan

Thank you for allowing me to talk about Teh being rancid in episode 2. That fight is brutal! It starts with Teh being so passive aggressively awful to Oh-aew in front of other people. Oh-aew has come into this restaurant to sit with Teh and his seniors—these are people that Oh-aew is not particularly comfortable around? This is not a friendly crowd for Oh-aew. He is with people that he doesn't know well, that are older than him, that he wants to make a good impression on, because they are important to Teh and and he's Teh's partner. So for Teh to start taking digs on him under those circumstances, and to just not let up and keep relentlessly going no matter how many times everyone at the table tries to deflect him away from it? Just so brutal to watch. 

And the seeds were planted pretty early on, right? This was seeded not even just in episode 1 of IPYTM, but way back at the beginning of I Told Sunset About You. The original fracture in Teh and Oh-aew's friendship is because of Teh's inability to roll with Oh-aew acting in a way that he doesn't like. He's jealous of him. He's jealous of how easy things come to him. He is… judgmental about Oh-aew's inability to stick with things, or to know exactly what he wants? He looks down on Oh-aew a little bit for being a follower, for adapting the interests of the people around him. Now in college Oh-aew gets to school and he's miserable, and he realizes he doesn't actually want to do the thing he thought he was there to do. And you know, let's not forget that Oh-aew is sitting in in the program that Teh gave up for him. Now Oh-aew never asked him to do that, of course, that was Teh’s big dumbass mistake. But Oh-aew has the thing that Teh wanted and that Teh gave up, in his mind, for Oh-aew. And Oh-aew doesn't value it the way that he would, and he doesn't like it the way that he would, and he decides to give it up. And he gives it up to follow his new friends into their passion. Now, is that a totally fair way of looking at it? I don't think so: Oh-aew is clearly good at marketing. He has, like, a natural aptitude for it; it makes sense that he would go that way. But from Teh's perspective, he's just looking at Oh following his latest friends into the thing they're doing, and he kind of sees it as part of that same pattern. 

So that was seeded so consistently throughout their relationship, that kind of tension point, and the way that Teh judges Oh-aew for this kind of behavioral pattern that he has? And so to see that come out in that fight, and for Teh's resentment of that to just continue to simmer and simmer and simmer, to the point where he cannot keep it together even in front of other people—and he embarrasses himself even more than he embarrasses Oh-aew in that scene with his seniors. It was such a brutal scene but it also felt so real, it was such a real kind of fight that you see long-term couples get into, where one of them just starts digging at the other, knowing all their weak points and knowing all the worst parts to hit, and that's what we watched Teh do in that scene. And all of it was so, like, deeply seeded in the story that we knew exactly why it was happening.

NiNi

Doesn't make it any easier to watch.

47:05 - That snake Jai

NiNi

Now it's time to talk about that snake Jai, and I'm going straight to Mor on this because Mor and I watched this together live while it was happening. [laughs] Come through, Mor. Let's talk. Let’s talk about Jai, let's talk about Teh and Jai, let's talk about how Oh-aew clocked Jai, just bring it out.

Mor

Oooh, that man. That man! The first thing that always comes to my mind that NiNi and I would just rant on, and we could not let it go—because how could you—is that fricking journal. The fricking journal! That was the most disgusting, manipulative… I can't think of something more insidious as a plot device to use. Not only is there a power imbalance already between these two, because yeah, they're not that far apart in age, but Jai is in a place that Teh wants to be in. He is succeeding in the area that Teh is dreaming of being in. Teh is already looking up to him so much. From the first time that he walks into the acting club, he's hearing from other people about how important Jai is, basically. So there's already an an imbalance there. 

Jai is experienced. He obviously knows how to read people and use them very well, we see that from the beginning. So I feel like he saw Teh, and just laser focused on him. And using the journal the way he did: it was like he asked Teh to make him a manual—’Go ahead, go ahead Teh, write out to me how I can best wrap you around my little finger and use you! Use you for my devices; use you to further my career, my dreams, my motivations. And once I have wrung you dry and left you with nothing… well, you know, whatever, I helped you! I, I helped—it's not my fault, we're not in a relationship. We’re—I mean, this is just professional! This is acting, Teh! That's how it is!’ I mean so much of Jai, and where they wound up, and just that whole relationship: it comes back to that journal. Again, it was just like a manual of how to manipulate him. It was so disgusting. I was so angry! [laughs] 

I'm getting angry now, I've never been so upset watching what felt like a slow motion car crash where Teh is just completely unaware of what is happening, and how he is being played like a fiddle. And you just have to watch it go on, and because he's drifting away from Oh, there is truly nothing to help him. There are no guardrails. There are no safeguards at this point. And that's why to me, it was not shocking in the least what happened. As we saw it in ITSAY, he just feels and feels and feels first. He does not think first. [laughs] And the way that that whole relationship played out from the beginning, Teh was set up to fail. 

Whoo! I'm gonna get off my soapbox now.

NiNi

[laughs] No, god, I love that so much. My thing on Jai is, when I saw Jai gaslighting Teh that was one thing, but then when he tried to gaslight Oh-aew—that was when I knew that he was a snake and that was all I was ever going to think about him. But I think that Bookworm has some slightly different thoughts on Jai? So Bookworm, if you want to pull those out and tell us what they are.

Bookworm

Well, make no mistake NiNi, I also hate Jai so passionately. But the thing that struck me as soon as I finished episode 3 with Jai and Teh kissing in that rehearsal room, was that Teh tends to… have trouble trying to separate what his ambitions are and what his desire is. When it comes to Jai he is just somebody Teh looks up to, somebody who is ahead of Teh, who can guide him to the goals that Teh has set up for himself for so long. And, immediately he transfers all of that longing and the visceral need onto Jai. He keeps lusting on the personification of his ambitions, and I would argue that he does the same thing in ITSAY as well. There are certainly other factors but when we see how easily Teh got roped into Jai’s schemes and how he… let his heart sort of go with Jai wherever he pulled, because he was blinded by the ambition and the achievements that he wants in his career. There is a shadow of that in Teh and Oh’s dynamic in ITSAY as well. 

Another thing that I tried to keep an eye on after episode 3 was that, if there was no Oh-aew in Teh’s life, would Jai be Teh’s future self? Is that what Teh would become? There is certainly, few things that Teh does that feel so close to what Jai did to him. For example, when he showed up on Tarn's doorstep asking her to tell him that she loves him, but he doesn't want to say it back. It's not a far reach, you can see how Teh can easily become Jai, but there is also a part of him that I think is just not as ruthless. Like Mor mentioned, he is a human bulldozer, everything he does is just chaos and he only stops and reflects when he has just demolished everything in his sight. But he does reflect, right? He stops and he thinks about it. He talks to Oh-aew whenever they stop and have a conversation after whatever mayhem has happened, Teh can go into his mind and he can point out where he's going wrong, and he can see the things for himself without somebody else telling him: this is where you're making mistakes. He would just spell it out by himself, he has that ability to identify the ways that he's hurting the people around him, and the reasons that he's doing that. That is what sets him apart from Jai.

NiNi

So so so so so, so accurate. Given everything that Bookworm just said about the similarities between Jai and Teh, and the difference being Teh’s ability to reflect versus Jai’s: we're given indications in the show that Jai feels guilty—I don't buy them necessarily, but Ginny, do you think that Jai feels bad about what he did? Not that he wouldn't do it again, [laughs] but do you think that he feels bad about what he did?

Ginny

So on my first watch I read Jai more sympathetically than on my second watch… which is less because I knew what was going to happen on the second watch, and more because I saw some of the nuances. Small indicators he was giving that he was calculating the whole time. I do still think—like, Jai is not a monster; Jai is a human person. He clearly has the ability to see what he did to Teh. He knows how badly he hurt him and how he ruined that relationship. And I do think he feels a way about that. Like you said NiNi, he wouldn't do it differently. He's made his choices, and he's never given any indication that he would ever put another human's feelings above his goals. 

And in his own way, he might think he is helping Teh, because for Jai, the artistic achievement and the career achievement is more important; the ambition is more important than anything else. And if he got Teh to a place where he performed very well in that play—he got a request from an agent and it ended up launching his career—so Jai might look at that and say, ‘See I helped you, because I gave you something that you really really wanted. So what if I had to break your heart and this other person's heart and ruin your relationship to do it?’ So I think he has feelings about that, but I think Jai's priorities are such that he would never regret what he did.

NiNi

Anybody else have thoughts on that?

Shan

I think that there was an intentional choice in the ending montage to show Jai reacting to the news that Teh and Oh-aew got back together? To give us a little bit of a sense that Jai does remember—I don't think he regrets what he did to Teh in that relationship—but he cares a little bit about it, enough to feel some sense of, maybe relief that they were able to work through it, and that whatever he did didn't totally destroy them forever? Frankly, I don't like the choice to show us that. [laughs] I don't care about Jai, I don't care what he feels about it. But I do think that was included intentionally to kind of communicate to the audience, like Ginny said: he's not a monster, he's a human, and he… very similarly to how we see Teh behave sometimes, he puts his ambitions first over the way he treats others. And I think they wanted us to see the humanity in that, and not totally just write him off as a villain.

NiNi

He can kiss my ass. Go Mor.

Mor

Them showing us that scene, to me, was the final nail in the coffin of, okay, all right, my read on you? Mhm, it’s been right this whole time. [laughs] Okay, yeah, Jai probably isn't a monster but the thing is, from a personal perspective: I've known Jais. Something that NiNi and I talked about having backgrounds in the arts, dance, theater. We have seen Jais, we know Jais, I can see a Jai, I can spot one from twelve hundred feet away. Okay, they're not monsters, but they are—the term gets thrown around way too much, but for me, they're the textbook definition of a narcissist, who thinks that they are god's gift, and that everyone is blessed by being in their presence, and that they are the top dog basically, and everyone else? They're collateral. Maybe they'll be useful. They're not out to necessarily get people but they're definitely out to use people. 

And so showing us that scene… What will always stick with me is Jai's smirk? It wasn't a smile in my opinion. Not a smile of ‘oh, you know, I'm glad that this worked out.’ It was a casual over the shoulder… just a smirk. And then the casualness with which he walked off the screen. The fact that there were no words, there were no dialogue—to me, it just spoke to how casually he viewed what he did. How it wasn't that big of a deal, and he's just going to move on. He's going to move on with his life, he'll probably never think of these people again—and to me it really all comes down to intention. Teh may have done things that would have made him very similar to Jai, but Teh never had the intention to blatantly use people the way that Jai did. And while that doesn't make you a monster, it does make you a shitty human being. That really makes all the difference. And that scene to me was showing us without words Jai's intentions.

NiNi

Whooo, yes, let me tell you all about some of the nonsense that goes on backstage, understage, in the flies… like some of the shit that I have seen? [laughs] 

Susan, now I know you haven't seen I Promised You the Moon, but like I said you're our resident behavioral expert. So everything that you're hearing, what's something that you want to bring forward here?

Susan

Just as an aside, what y’all are saying about these tendencies in the performing arts community? As someone who spent a lot of my life in a community of musicians, sounds familiar. I was already thinking about a former partner of mine who once told me that his gift to the world was going to be his music, and that my gift to the world was going to be how I facilitated him making his music. So, you know, I can relate to some of that stuff. 

So, I was going to say, there's something about Teh that seems contradictory on the surface. And that is, he's clearly an incredibly sensitive person, I mean just look at the crying. He clearly feels a lot, and yet he can act so unfeeling. And what I'm hearing about this other person? This person sounds like someone who doesn't start from the base of perceiving those emotions in the first place. It just doesn't hit them as hard and they feel like they want more, because it takes a lot to, kind of register on your personal scale. So that's going to be my guess about this person. They're not already coming from a place of feeling for other people in a natural way. That's an educated guess.

NiNi

That's a very, very educated I guess. 

1:01:38 - The Ending and Character Development

NiNi

I want to take that and sort of slide into the next idea. One of the things that struck me in the end of the show, particularly in episode 5 in that conversation that Teh and Oh-aew you have when they see each other again at the agency. Teh is talking to Oh about how he's having such a hard time coming up with his thesis play, and Oh is telling Teh, there's so much all around you. And I always tie that back to some of the things that Susan was talking about there that's also manifested in the way that Teh deals with his roommate. 

Teh is, in his mind, rejected by his roommate at the beginning, and he rejects him right back, so he doesn't even realize or notice when his roommate breaks up with his partner. So when he breaks up with Oh-aew in the end, he's hostile at this point to his roommate. He hasn't even tried ever to build a relationship with him. He's not interested in anything he does. And his roommate says to him, ‘well why do you think I wouldn't understand you?’ He realizes that he has not looked outside of himself at all. And that’s something that comes up again in the conversation with Oh-aew. 

I think I rambled myself around a little bit, but I want to start getting into the end of the story and how that plays out, and Teh’s reflection on his own behavior, on how he's been treating people, on the fact that he's not good at paying attention to people [laughs] and that has caused him problems in his life. Shan, I haven't come to you for a little while.

Shan

I actually really love Teh's arc in the final episode. After the big emotional episode, where he makes a big big mistake [laughs] because he's not thinking things through, he gets time: he gets time away from Oh-aew and time to move into a new phase of his life, and time to start having some new experiences, and even time to date somebody else after Oh-aew, and feel the difference in the quality of those relationships and what they do for him. 

We kind of see him start to process, and understand that even though his ambitions are being realized? He is not fulfilled. He doesn't feel happy. He is an actor, he has a tv show, he's doing things he said he wanted to do, and he's dating somebody—his co-star, who is the perfect partner for that, right? She helps his career. They look great together. They have the same ambitions. She's very driven just like him… and he's not into it. He's like, ‘oh this isn't really doing things for me emotionally that I thought it would. Having a partner who is exactly aligned with the things I want to do is maybe not actually going to give me the satisfaction and the fulfillment of my desires that I thought.’ And so, I actually think that's a really important arc for him. And then for him to then see Oh-aew, have all of that activated, have all of those old feelings come back, and realize that he actually wants to fight to get that relationship back. And he's bringing some of what he learned. 

And I mean, you know, he's still the same person. He still has to do everything in the most dramatic way possible. He has to make it a big grand gesture, instead of a more organic attempt to reconnect with Oh-aew. I loved that in the resolution between them, what Oh-aew says is not ‘I trust that this will never happen again,’ or ‘I feel really confident now that we're gonna, like, be great together.’ [laughs] What Oh-aew says is, ‘I understand who you are, and I wanna be with you. And what I'm asking from you is a commitment to, like, not go off and spin out the way that you normally do when shit happens. Because shit is gonna happen again.’ And Teh seems pretty confident about his ability to, like, commit to that. 

I don't believe that Teh is never gonna stray again. I don't. I think he's probably going to end up having feelings for someone else again. It's the way he is. He just gets obsessive about things that draw his attention, and I think that that's probably always going to be the case. And so one of the things that they're going to have to work through is figuring out how that works within the context of the relationship they have, what their boundaries are around that. And that necessitates communication. So that's kind of the commitment that they're trying to make. And the trajectory of that can look different. Oh-aew at this stage in his life wants a monogamous relationship; maybe that will always be the case. And then they'll have to figure out how Teh can control these impulses that he has to make that work. Maybe they're going to learn that if they want to stay together long term, absolute monogamy maybe is not their solution. There are paths before them. But they have to talk to each other. They have to work it out together, and that's the commitment that they're making: that when shit gets hard, they will talk to each other. I really love that; it felt like a very adult resolution. It felt very grounded in… who they are as people and what they can reasonably expect of each other. It just felt so mature. You just don't see that very often in BL. So I really loved it. 

I will say, the Oh-aew side of that arc wasn't quite as strong for me. And I think it's a little bit evident in the way that this conversation has gone, Oh-aew—his characterization is not quite as strong as Teh’s. I don't feel that the writing team had as much of a handle on exactly what they wanted to say with him and about him. So I do think there's a little bit of a missing piece to his part of this story. We saw that post-breakup Oh-aew was kind of thriving on his own, actually. He's doing great. He did very well in school, he's started his career. He's still got great friends. He's still got community around him. He is okay, he's content being single. And we saw that after Teh's first grand gesture, that he rejected him pretty firmly. He was like ‘no, you don't get to do this, this is not the way.’ And then we didn't really see a middle step before he then changed his mind and decided to jump back in both feet with Teh. And it's not that that doesn't feel right? It does, because Oh-aew is always going to forgive Teh, always. He said it himself: ‘Have I ever left you, Teh?’ No, he hasn't and he never will, probably. So it's not that it feels unrealistic, it's just that I wanted him to have a little bit more of an emotional arc there, similar to what we got for Teh. So that's my, like, small quibble with that. But overall I loved the resolution for their relationship; I loved the way they came back together and what the show said about the future in front of them.

NiNi

‘Have I ever left you Teh?’ is probably my favorite line in all of I Promised You The Moon. I want to step to Bookworm here, because I want to talk a little bit about Teh and reflection in the end of the story, and the role of the play. How Teh uses it to reflect and try to reconnect with Oh-aew, and how Oh-aew perceives that.

Bookworm

We’re very clear that Teh is somebody who does not like change. Who keeps things going till it reaches that breaking point. I want to maybe reframe it a little bit, and bring it back to the play. I think Teh tends to let things go, because I think he does not like being in the present. He is constantly either thinking about the future, or he's obsessed with something that has happened in the past. That's why Oh-aew was so pissed at that play, because that is not the conversation that he wanted to have. That is not something that Oh-aew wants to even address at that point, because they have moved past all of that, and there are things that they have to talk about that has happened in the present and at the moment. And Teh does not engage that way, it's just not his character, right? He doesn't do that. 

Then we got to the ending, and Oh-aew has this conversation with Teh about how he just wants to be in his life, and he doesn't know where this is going to go but he just wants to be together. And then Teh does, again, just a chaotic maneuver and posts this Instagram picture, and it's identifiable chaos, right? That's a Teh that we know. But this time he is trying to solve a problem at the present, and that I think is how Teh has reflected. It may not be conscious; I'm pretty sure he has not sat down and thought through all of this. He's just that—as the time moved, he has done this shift within himself. He has turned that chaos somehow into… a tool that he can use to try to engage with the problems that they have to deal with in the present, and not put it into the future so that it becomes such a huge ticking time bomb that just blows up on everybody's face—or just throw everything into the past and link it to some pivotal focal point that just shadows over everything else.

NiNi

Y'all are blowing my mind, and I'm loving this whole experience. Ginny: Shan mentioned not having as clear an understanding of Oh in this final act as she does of Teh, and I feel like you're a kind of an Oh-aew whisperer. So I don't know if you want to lean into your understanding and share with us what you're taking away from Oh in the final act of the story.

Ginny

I definitely see… his arc and his journey is much more subtle, and you have to be watching really closely I think to read some of what's happening. But what I saw especially on my second watch is that—Oh-aew, up until he hears that Teh has broken up with his co-star, he has a very clear story in his mind about the breakup, and about Teh and why it didn't work out with him. And that story started when Oh-aew left acting. He knew that Teh wasn't okay with it, and even after they made up, Teh wasn't fully okay with it. And that degraded their relationship until the point of the Jai incident. Oh-aew was very clear that it was specifically an artistic partner that Teh was falling in love with—and it was that bond, of having feelings for somebody that shared these ambitions was what pulled Teh into Jai's orbit—and knew that he could never compete with that. And so the story I believe he's telling himself is that Oh-aew is never what Teh wanted or needed. Teh thought he did when he thought that Oh was going to be an actor, and along his side. But as soon as Oh moved away from that path, he stopped being the life partner that Teh was looking for. 

One thing that always strikes me at the beginning of episode 5 is how happy Oh is to see Teh in his career success. He smiles when he sees him next to his actress partner on screen, he buys a magazine, and he doesn't seem to carry any bitterness about that. He's genuinely so joyful for Teh and his success. So part of his story is that Teh has gotten what he always wanted. He's got his career and he's got this partner that shares his ambitions which is what he's always wanted and needed—what Oh couldn't be, and the reason they didn't work out. Oh has devalued himself in how he thinks Teh sees him. He does not fully see how important he is to Teh and how much he means to him. When he says, ‘have I ever left you?’ It's very clear that Oh will always be by Teh's side, until that point when he accepts what he believes to be true, which is that he's not what Teh needs. And then he goes to the play… he rejects Teh immediately after the play, but I don't see that as a rejection of the idea of them getting back together, so much as a, ‘this is too much. Why are you throwing this at me right now?’ And then he looks at the messages. That, I think, is when he realized that he himself is what Teh wanted, not the artistic partner. And I think that's part of why he comes back to him.

1:15:23 - Favorite scenes

NiNi

I want to just ask a fun round robin question before we get to the end. What's everybody's favorite scene in I Promised You The Moon? Let's start with Shan.

Shan

I'm gonna go for maximum pain: my favorite scene is Oh-aew confronting Teh after Teh, right in front of his fucking face, [laughs] attempts to get into a relationship with Jai. I have PTSD from that scene to this day! I cannot believe what Teh did in that sequence. The way that he—right in front of Oh!—was making moon eyes at Jai. The way that he went to talk to Jai to try to confirm that their feelings were mutual. The way that after Jai rejected him, he got up on stage to sing a song with Oh and started singing it at Jai! Making weepy eyes at him literally right in front of Oh's fucking face! And then I love that Oh called him on it immediately, hit him so hard with those flowers! [laughs] And I love that he just said, ‘how stupid do you think I am? You're doing this right in front of me.’ 

I just loved how the show did not shy away from Teh’s audacity in that moment, from how disconnected he had become from his reality. It was just the peak of his ability to delude himself and go into his obsessive episodes, and I just thought it was so well done.

NiNi

I think you and I are both fans of the angst and also the drama. Bookworm, what about you?

Bookworm

I'm gonna continue Shan's rage and go into the next most painful scene, which was Teh going to Q's house to talk to Oh-aew, and the conversation they have on the couch. Like I said before, when somebody tries so hard not to cry, or when somebody's trying so hard to not say something that is just dying to get out of them, and they're trying to hold back the words just to save themselves from the pain? Those are my favorite things. When Oh-aew finally breaks help with Teh, and Teh gets up from the couch and walks away… there's a split-second frame where Oh turns back, and you can see the longing in his face. He is devastated and he wants to say so many things. But he just holds it back and he watches Teh walk away. That was such a well choreographed scene, and how the actors performed it, it was just such a delight to watch, and I came close to breaking. I had tears in my eyes and just… choked up in that scene.

NiNi

Mor, what about you?

Mor

I am a ho for well-done angst as well, so in a way I can't believe I'm saying this, but I have to go off about the quiet genius of the aquarium scene. That was possibly the most beautiful parallel I've ever seen in a show, and I see parallels everywhere, I adore them, and it's one that I will never get out of my head. It was like Teh was saying without words, ‘Oh, after all the pain I put you through, after everything it took for us to get here, I am taking us out of this underwater world we were in where we were hiding these feelings and I was terrified to show it to the world. And now? I'm choosing you in front of the world. I don't give a damn who sees us.’ And yet it's in the same sort of environment where he first really let himself feel what he was feeling, that he let himself feel that desire and to show it to Oh. 

That underwater scene in ITSAY was so pivotal for them. To go from that—and that that's the only way that Teh is willing to show him affection, is hidden, underneath the surface of the water, away from the world—to then be in this open aquarium in Bangkok, the biggest city in Thailand and he is kissing him. I get chills! I get chills. It was so well done, and it was done without words. You can't beat it for me, you just can't.

NiNi

Ginny I'm gonna come to you. What's your favorite scene in all of I Promised You The Moon?

Ginny

First I have to stop crying about the aquarium scene, because everything Mor said was true. My favorite scene is in episode 5 when Teh and Oh-aew first see each other at the agency. Coming into that scene the first time, I was really feeling like, ‘I care deeply about both these boys, I want them to be happy, but I don't really care if they get back together, and I think maybe they shouldn't.’ As soon as they saw each other? The gravity of what pulls them together sets in for both of them, and you see the longing that still pulls them together, and I went ‘oh! never mind, I need them together again.’ 

It's the same thing that is still my most vivid impression from ITSAY: the intensity of the love and desire that they have for each other, and how vital that is to both of them. One of the things that really impresses me in I Promised You The Moon is how naturally they play each stage of the relationship. When they're playing partners who have been together for three years, they feel like partners who have been together for three years. It feels lived-in, it feels comfortable, it feels a little bit… stale in the way that things can get if you're not paying attention? But still full of affection; it feels so right for that stage. But as soon as you've had them separated and then seeing each other again? All of that desire comes rushing back. And I love it. It is about the desire but it’s also just about the deep roots of that connection that they share, because they’ve known each other so long and they go so deep in each other’s lives. And the way that that instantly revitalized my personal emotional investment in their relationship was just so powerful.

NiNi

I'm going to hold my scene for when I'm talking to Ben after in the outro, but great, great scenes from everybody. 

We're going to close out with Susan, because I have to ask Susan the very important question. Okay Susan, you 've been sitting here, you've been listening to this entire conversation, and I just want to know: are you going to go and watch I Promised You The Moon now?

Susan

Oh how could I not? I feel like having this conversation, it seems almost like a boost where I would be more at a point watching I Promised You The Moon for the first time… It would be more like having a second viewing for my first viewing. That's one of the reasons I actually, like I said, I like to be spoiled? It tells you where to put your attention. I'm going to definitely be looking in different places, thinking about different things beforehand in a way that I think would be better than if I watched it just cold.

NiNi

Mission accomplished! [laughs] All right guys, we're going to wrap this up here, we could keep talking forever but we gotta go!

1:23:51 Outro

NiNi

Ben, so you were lurking in the background of that recording [laughs]. And unlike me, you actually heard what we said, and now having listened to the edit as well: what are some of your thoughts?

Ben

I gotta be honest. I was not chatting with you like I normally am when we're recording, so I was very drunk while you all were recording [laughs] for two hours! I did not remember the middle of the recording at all! I'm sorry, I was not present.

[both laugh]

NiNi

But you have heard the edit. So.

Ben

Oh, everyone sounded so good! I really liked the conversation you guys had getting into the fact that Teh was always like this. There was this huge pushback when the show was originally airing, that Teh was acting out of character, and that they had somehow misunderstood their own characters and ruined them. But I really liked that the panel was very much about how Teh was always this way. And Jai knew that about him and used that against him. 

I also love that you all hated Jai, that was so fun to listen to again on the recording. I was very conscious for Bookworm going off about Jai, because she hates him so much! [both laugh] I'm also glad that we were able to get Mor on the podcast twice! We do not talk about Mor often in our recordings, but know that they are one of our favorite people, and that they were able to make time to be with us twice is a real gift.

NiNi

I did quite enjoy what we're referring to as the “fuck Jai” portion of the panel [laughs]. I was gratified to find out that Bookworm hates Jai probably just as much as Mor and me. 

[laughs] 

I think one of the things that, listening back to the panel, that I really obviously wanted to get across was the fact that Teh has always been this way. This is how Teh always was. This is how Teh probably, in some ways, ever shall be, and to say otherwise is to basically ignore the Teh of I Told Sunset About You. I think that when it comes to Teh and I Told Sunset About You, people got bogged down in the romance and forgot all the bullshit. And, my god, was Teh full of bullshit. [laughs] So watching Teh’s bullshit continue, and him eventually learn to try to curtail it slightly? That was a delightful journey, the way that I saw it. I quite enjoyed that.

Ben

I really liked Ginny bringing forward the discussion about Oh's friend group, and the queerness of that friend group, because I don't think I grokked it the first time, that any of them other than Q were queer. But having watched some of the scenes after Ginny pointed them out, it's very obvious. And I think that that's really well done, because they're queer for the people who know queer people; they're just Oh’s friends for the people who don't. And I liked that.

NiNi

In the ending, I did a round robin with the gang about everybody's favorite scene—because you know me, I'm a scene bitch. I will always find a favorite scene, whether it's in an episode or in an overall show. I will always want to know what everybody's favorite scene is. I feel like that's better than a personality test. [laughs] 

So what was your favorite scene in I Promised You the Moon?

Ben

Right now, it is… the scene—I believe it's in episode 4?—with Mek, when he talks about how Teh never showed any interest in him. Because he's only just mildly hurt and disappointed in Teh about it, and it caps off, like another episode of Teh just spiraling in his own bullshit again? 

It stands out because Mek was like, ‘bro, we've been here for years and you ain't said shit to me,’ and that's basically Teh. He's so rigid, either people fit into his vision of his life or they don't. And they don't exist if they don't fit into his vision. And it was kind of rude of him to just presume that about his roommate right away, who was clearly trying to make overtures of friendship to him for like two to four years? That scene is currently the one that comes to mind when you ask. 

That or Bas coming back to be like, ‘Are we still talking about this man?’ 

[both laugh]

NiNi

Shade!

Ben

My favorite Billkin and PP scene is probably when they put PP in Oh’s shirt with his heart cut out, and he's watching Teh look at Jai when they're supposed to be singing a song together. And then he beats him with the flowers.

NiNi

I feel like Oh-aew beating Teh with those flowers… it was a pivotal and necessary moment. At the time, it cleared my skin. It watered my crops. [laughs] It fed, nourished, and sustained me. I rewound it several times. I asked Mor to make gifs.

Ben

There's so many good scenes in that show.

NiNi

Can you not pick a favorite? Or does your favorite rotate?

Ben

It rotates. I think what's interesting is, my favorite scenes in I Promised You the Moon are not with Oh and Teh. My favorite scene that PP does from a work standpoint, that I think is one of PP's best, is the audition scene where he's faced with homophobia. And you can see his decision to quit acting happening in real time. Like I thought that was really, really good. 

I also really like the scene where Teh is mean to Khim because she can't make acting work. Because Teh is so wrong in that scene.

NiNi

I also go back and forth a lot. But I think if I had to count an absolute favorite scene—

Ben

It's the Jai kiss! 

[NiNi laughs]

Ben

It's the Jai kiss! Because Oh catches—and he's like ‘that rat bastard!’

[both laugh]

NiNi

It's the Jai kiss for a lot of reasons. The filmmaking in that scene is so impressive. The way that they build the tension of the scene, of you watching Teh make this terrible, horrible mistake, and then intercutting between Oh-aew coming to find him, and him getting closer and closer to Jai, and then him laying one on Jai, and then that long dolly shot of Oh-aew spotting them through the door of the rehearsal room? So you just see Oh-aew’s face. You see it change, and then there's this looong dolly shot that pulls back into the rehearsal room and then you see Jai and Teh making out. The filmmaking is just next-level, like everything about it—the shot selection, the music, the sound, the camera work—perfection. 

So with that said, we've come to the end of our I Told Sunset/I Promised You the Moon third anniversary retrospective. That's it from us, we're about to wrap this up, we'll see you next time. We out! Say bye to the people, Ben.

Ben

Peace!