#seriously wtf this year people have been setting off way more

[fantompigeon]

Fuck whoever in my neighborhood is setting off fireworks today. Especially a huge fuck you to whoever is setting them off right now past 12am.

[kankuroplease]

We will be able to know what Minori and Touya's relationship is like.

People are always free to ask about my OCs✨

Touya and Minori have a very healthy relationship with open communication and dorky affection

Minori fell for Touya when he helped her and Mikoto open a tight jar of peaches they were struggling with on the way home (because the twins yet again were snacking on groceries before they made it home).

He laughed a little and agreed when she told him he was able to open it because she loosened it. That laugh was magical to her and she was hooked.

They offered him a slice before skipping off and giggling about it with Mikoto

Touya in turn fell for her harder when she gave him a ‘thank you’ flower and a tea cake the next day even though she didn’t have to

He pressed that flower because he wanted to keep it/the memory forever

They would often see each other around the village and occasionally hung out when the stars aligned

He helped retrieve her glasses after some jerk ripped them off her face and threw them (and beat that guy up later because wtf do you think you’re doing to Minori)

They both would get embarrassed and deny they liked each other when Touya’s friends would tease them

Very simple puppy love

Touya originally planned to confess to Minori during a spring festival, but was discouraged when one of her friends said she would only date a cute guy to another one of his friends who asked about her type

He had just gotten his facial scar and doubts about if an orphan like himself was good enough for her family, so it stung a bit (a lot) to think she might reject him for not being her type. Feelings fade right? Or the grow stronger

Meanwhile, Minori thought “Yacchan” might like her… but she was also certain he didn’t. Which wouldn’t be anything new, most guys that talked to her did so to get next to Mikoto, so maybe he liked Mikoto and was just being nice?

He wouldn’t always look at her directly, but he did blush when they were close sometimes. It was very confusing and easier to tell herself he’s just a shy guy/he’d blush harder if it was Mikoto

So they both continued to get close to confessing, but psyching themselves out at last minute of for years

Minori was much more bold with her flirting as she would intentionally sit close enough for her legs to touch, wearing pretty dresses and ask what he thinks, brushing his hair back so she could see his eyes better, etc..

Touya was a bit of a stonewall and really only blushed (he was dying inside, especially when drape her legs over his and the eye contact)

Minori tried “dating” someone else her sister set her up with for experience after her flirtations didn’t seem to change much between her and Touya.

However, he didn’t laugh at her jokes and preferred for her to act more seriously also suggested she would be even more beautiful if she let her hair grow out which gave her the ick

Touya didn’t like it, but at that point, they were really good friends and he wanted to see her happy

But nothing made him happier than when that short lived relationship ended with Minori deciding to join him and the others for a hangout vs going on the date that would have made her and that guy official

Minori didn’t actually call him by his name until they confessed their feelings to each other at Mikoto and Fugaku’s wedding

Which surprised Touya and it embarrassed him when she pointed out he was blushing hard once again as rubbed her foot against his leg

His lips ghosting the shell of her ear as he asked if she was aware of what all her teasing these years actually does to him, made her gain a matching blush

They were each others first everything. Which was both endearing and a little awkward

But that’s how Minori found out she was really into the praises and encouragement Touya gave her no matter how clumsy some of her ideas might have been

Also how Touya found out she’s got a lot of fun mole placements all over that he loves

After she (and her bald cat) moved in with him, Touya gave her free reign to decorate how she sees fit

Minori and her cat fight for space on Touya’s chest. She can’t believe her own cat would try to steal her spot

Touya tends to make her breakfast in bed on the days they have off together. Otherwise they’re both up and cooking together

On the rare occasion he over sleeps, she will kiss his scars and nipping at his jawline down to his chest to wake him up and laugh when he groans because she stopped/got out of his grasp. It’s a nice way to wake up, but don’t tease him like that before work

After Touya pierced her ears for her, They started sharing earrings

If one of them has a mission, they’ll split a set, both of them wearing one of the earrings until the other one returns

Minori does most of the yapping when they do double dates and will sometimes play footsie with him to tease him

Minori proposed to Touya with a jar of peaches and he full body laughed before accepting the jar and giving her the ring he had been planning to propose with if someone had been a little more patient

And their wedding? It was a small intimate ceremony filled with those closest to them.

He likes watching her undress, not even in a completely sexual way (but if she wants to go, he’s ready). She’s just very beautiful to him and I loves to she her in all her glory

She does the same with him, but he’s definitely getting a wolf whistle for the show

Minori thinks it’s sweet when he comes home and just wants to cuddle because he had a rough day

She knows he’ll talk about it when he’s ready to and he just wants that closeness/comfort. In the meantime, she’ll hum him a little tune while she plays with his hair and rubs his back

He can tell when she’s stressed because she tends to pace around and fidget. He can usually get her to relax by giving her a hug or by offering a back massage

She’s the enthusiastic one that plans fun dates and he’s the calmer person that actually budgets

While he’s definitely wrapped around her little finger, Touya drew a hard line at starting a family while they’re both active shinobi. That’s how he became an orphan and he’ll never view two active shinobi as parents as a good thing

Either he retired or she retired from being shinobi, no expectations.

Which wasn’t really a problem for Minori once she understood his POV. She didn’t mind the idea of him being a househusband (it would be cute actually lol), but ultimately decided to retire herself so she could spend more time with Mikoto and Itachi

They both were really excited when they found out they were going to be parents

Mikoto and Minori planned their second pregnancies together ✨ which meant Fugaku and Touya were both to deal with hormonal pregnant twins at the same time

They didn’t plan on having a third child, but it was a welcome surprise. Minori tried to talk Mikoto into having one kid so they could do this together, but she declined (rude 😭)

They still act like they’re in their honeymoon phase years later (can’t leave without a money kiss, nuzzling each other, butt squeezes, matching holiday sweaters, etc.) and it embarrasses their youngest

[ryttu3k]

I'm curious abut Sascha Vykos. Do you know which novels or splat books would be good to read to learn more about them?

*cracks knuckles*

Number 1 book you need to understand Sascha's background is the Dark Ages Tzimisce clan novel by Myranda Kalis, which has them as the main character (along with their lover, Ilias cel Frumos) and explains why they're... like that. Just a goddamn amazing character study, also completely heartbreaking and singlehandedly made me change my view of them from "haha wtf what an edgelord" to "they're my baby and I'm gonna fight a methuselah for them". Set between 1232 and 1234, if I've managed to maths right.

Also by Myranda and set around a similar time (shortly after the fall of Constantinople) is the Road of Sin book (set around 1205). Sascha (then called Myca) narrates the introduction and first chapter. It does specifically focus on their history with the eponymous Road, but has a lot of interesting character details, along with their relationship with Ilias.

For modern Sascha, there are two. First is the original Clan Novel Saga (set 1999), although in this case, I'm not recommending just the Tzimisce novel, but rather the compiled editions. There's a bunch of Sascha content in the Assamite book as well, since they're quite involved with one of the characters in it, and it also includes extra, exclusive content, including my two favourite chapters - a story by Lucien Soulban (Sascha's creator), and an epilogue by Janet Trautvetter, mostly about Jan Pieterzoon but with Sascha being fairly prominent in it.

Fair warning, CNS was written in 1999 and has. Mm. Edgelordy moments. We do not talk about The Foetus Thing :|

The other, probably most important one is Beckett's Jyhad Diary, which I would recommend for literally anyone interested in VtM in general. Sascha has minor appearances and mentions in a bunch of chapters, but is extremely prominent in the chapter Dreams & Nightmares (also by Myranda Kalis/Sarro). She also wrote the chapter Azhi Dahaka, another must-read relating to Sascha.

The timing for BJD is... less clear, because at least a few of the people involved have said it's set in 2005, but also there's one chapter where an event that explicitly took place around 1999 or 2000 is said to have taken place "sixteen years ago", so. Let's just call that early 21st century.

Most of the rest of the books are chronicles, plus one city book - their origin book, Constantinople by Night (1197, IIRC?) by Lucien Soulban, Philippe Boulle, and Joshua Mosqueira-Asheim. Others, in chronological order by setting, include Bitter Crusade (two chapters, Fiendish Winter and Dying Embers, the latter covering the Fall of Constantinople in 1204), Under the Black Cross (1225), and a whole bunch of the Transylvania Chronicles (Myca/Sascha appears in book 1 in Dark Tides Cresting (1314), in book 2 in Haceldema (covers the Convention of Thorns, 1493), in book 3 in An Angel's Plea (1680, also has the most hilariously thirsty description of Sascha I've ever seen in my life), and in book 4 in The Accounting (1998).)

Seriously. Here's their Transylvania Chronicles 3 character sheet:

They appear in two of the Giovanni Chronicles books, three (1882) and four (same, in a flashback that also has my baby Anatole), in the Nightshade scenario of the Gehenna book (1999), although that's since been retconned out of existence, along with chunks of the Clan Novel Saga, mostly to do with the approaching Gehenna stuff, and in particular Anatole's fate. It's still worth reading just for some fascinating ways the world could end. Finally, they appear in the House of Lies chapter of Nights of Prophecy (1999?).

Aside from those, they also have little appearances and mentions in other books, including letters and notes throughout chapter 7 of the Revised corebook, a rather amusing little reference in chapter 4 of the Victorian Age corebook, a detailed profile and character sheet in Children of the Night although that book pisses me off because it put Beckett, Anatole, and Lucita on the front cover but didn't give us sheets for them!, and the opening letter of the V5 Sabbat book, which you can read here (and then ignore the rest of the book and get the Revised-era Guide to the Sabbat instead, seriously, fuck the V5 version of the Sabbat and the Tzimisce).

So yes! They show up a lot, and all through the game's history. The three most important ones to read, I think, are the Dark Ages Tzimisce novel, the combined Clan Novel Saga, and Beckett's Jyhad Diary, then the rest just depending on interest in the era or broader story, since Sascha is less involved in those.

Have fun! They're an absolute hot mess of a character and I adore them!

[wunderflammer]

So, a few nights ago I worked a last minute stage management gig at an invite-only event with a few thousand people in attendance. I met the most singular stage invader I've ever had to deal with. Story under the cut.

So, to start, I'm a musician. I've been dealing with stage invaders for years, whether at my own gigs (from the punk rock dive bar years all the way up to current day) or hosting other events. It's always a stressful experience and the stage invader is usually drunk/belligerent.

So, Thursday night's event in detail:

I'm standing sidestage while the last DJ plays. There's about an hour left until close. All the sudden, a woman climbs up the front of the stage (only about 2.5/3ft high) in her dress and heels. She does so with shocking ease.

She looks to be in her late 20s/early 30s. She has a plastic cup of wine in one hand. She makes a beeline for the DJ booth and starts TALKING WITH THE DJ WHILE HE'S SPINNING. I immediately spring into action and run up to rectify this because WTF IS GOING ON. It's all happened in the blink of an eye.

She is coherent but definitely a bit drunk. She has zero concept that she shouldn't be standing on stage behind the DJ booth during a live set at a private event. Drunk people are similar to toddlers in that: they are SO surprisingly fast for being kind of uncoordinated and you also can't exactly reason with them. So I gently take her by the hand and we have this convo. Everything is yelled over the loud house music.

Me: hi there, can you come with me?

Her, attempting to take a selfie with the DJ: why?

[She motions for me to get into the selfie. I do not.]

Me: he's actively working and you're not supposed to be up here.

[She looks at me with genuine confusion, as though I've just dropped out of the sky. She puts her phone back into her clutch.]

Me: it's not safe to have you on stage with all the cables and wires, and you don't have a VIP wristband.

[Obviously there's more to it than that, but we are doing some gentle parenting at this point. She seems receptive and cooperative. There's no security or staff around to help me. The name of the game is safe de-escalation at this point.]

Her, raising her hand to show me a chewed up wristband from some other event: ???

Me: I'm so sorry, that's not for this event.

[She nods gravely and takes my hand, allowing me to guide her away from the DJ booth. When we get to the edge of the stage, she puts on the parking brake, as it were. I'm attempting to cajole her down the two tall stairs to ground level. Her expression changes.]

Her, alarmed: oh my god, am I in trouble?

Me: no, I've just got to get you back into the crowd. You can't come back up here, okay?

Her, almost tearful all the sudden: I'm REALLY SORRY-

[She nearly eats shit trying to step off the stage with both feet, clearly thinking it's a much shorter drop. Full newborn baby giraffe legs. I pull her back, absolutely terrified she's going to hurt herself.]

Me, so stressed but trying to play it cool: hey! It's all good. Calm down. Cmon, let's go down these steps together. One at a time. I'll help you.

[We make it down to sidestage ground level and I'm opening up the stanchion rope so she can go back into general population. She puts on the parking brake again, still holding my hand.]

Her, seriously: I'm really sorry. I didn't know I couldn't be up there.

[At this point, she feels guilty. I'm not going to pile on.]

Me: Just don't do it again, okay? Do you have any friends here?

[She nods and points to a small group in the front. They're looking for her. We're obscured by a huge tower of speakers.]

Me: okay. Let's get you back with your friends. Can you stay with them the rest of the night?

[She suddenly hugs me very tightly. I'm completely caught off-guard.]

Her: I just wanna tell you, I didn't drive. We all got an uber. I'm gonna be SO safe, okay?

Me, genuinely relieved: thank you for telling me. I'm really glad.

[When she lets go, I manage to grab the attention of her friend group and wave them toward us.]

Me: will you go get some water? That whole bar right there is only sparkling water.

[She nods as she sees her friends, finally stepping out from behind the security rope so I can close the area off again. She is still holding my hand.]

Her, with the seriousness of a knight of old committing to a blood oath, leveling my gaze: thank you for being nice to me.

Me, solemnly matching her energy: thank you for cooperating. Please get home safe.

Her, turning her attention to her friends, immediate girlypop energy taking over: girlies, I need WATER!

[She lets go of my hand and off she goes, practically jogging in her heels, teeny tiny rhinestone clutch in tow. The DJ, who never faltered, and I exchange bewildered looks. The head sound engineer looks at me from the booth mouthing "what the FUCK?!" I shrug back at her. It's all in a night's work, after all.]

* * *

10/10 wild interaction.

It was nice to not have a violent or resistant stage invader on my hands. She was cooperative and her friends took care of her. I'm so glad she was not there alone. Definitely better than my incident at this same event last year, in which I had to dispose of a bag of suspicious white powder dropped outside the VIP area.

I managed to get a couple security guards up by the stage as a preemptive measure in case anyone else got any ideas. One breach per event is already too many. The rest of the night went off without a hitch, thank goodness. Currently formulating my thoughts for the eventual event debrief. Just wanted to write this out while it was fresh.

All in a night's work, right?

[crazyunsexycool]

What was Ransom's feelings when reader first got in touch with him? Was he like "omg" or "wtf" when he seen she was getting in touch

The call

Let’s make this a drabble!!

Warning: none really, maybe a bit of asshole Ransom, and some angst?

“Maybe when you stop thinking with your dick and your ideas aren’t shit I’ll take them seriously.” Ransom snapped.

“Watch your mouth you ungrateful son of a bitch.”

“Eat shit Walt.” Ransom slammed the door to the conference room shut behind him. Everyone made sure to move out of the way lest they get caught in his wrath.

Ransom stalked toward his office with that permanent scowl on his face. He didn’t necessarily hate the job just most of the people he worked with, especially his uncle.

“Sir.” His assistant Ian stood at the door to Ransom’s office with a stack of papers. “These just came in via courier.”

Ransom just snatched the stack out of his hand and walks into his office.

“One more thing sir. I received a phone call and was told you absolutely needed to call back. It was of high importance.” Ian holds out a bright yellow post it note which Ransom also snatched out of his hand.

“Leave.”

“Yes sir.”

The door closes quietly as Ransom walks towards his desk and sets down everything in his hands. His initial thought is to just throw away the post it but the name on it gets his attention.

Please call Y/N Y/L/N

High importance .

He stared at the information he held for a few minutes. It had been years since the last time he talked to you. Ransom had cut all ties with you after graduation so what could you possibly need? Any and all anger he had been feeling a few seconds ago had completely disappeared. His thoughts all replaced by you. Ransom knew you didn’t have a lot of people in your life that had your back except for your best friend from high school. Had something bad happened? He moved and sat behind his desk and moved to grab the phone. After dialing the first three numbers he stopped. What could he possibly say to you?

Those thoughts were stopped when Walt barged in and began berating Ransom again. The post it laid crumpled on his desk forgotten.

****

“Sir, I have another request for you to call this number immediately.” Ian hands yet another post it note to Ransom.

It had been a few hours since he got the last one. Any courage to call and figure out why you were reaching out were gone. At this point he didn’t want to call. Hearing your voice would only bring up memories and feelings he wasn’t ready to face. Could he tell you he thought about you every day? Would it matter?

****

Ransom’s evening is full of more meetings and crap. His day has only gone down hill since his arguments with Walt. Now all he wanted to do was go home make himself a drink or three and then go to bed.

Before he gets up to go the door to his office opens one more time. This time Ian looks red in the face. This time he has a huge piece of paper in his hand as he walks towards Rans’s desk. He lays the paper in front of his boss and points at it.

“You better call this damn number before the end of tonight. I never want to hear from the person on the other end of this line. Now I have tolerated a lot from you but if you don’t do as I ask I’ll quit.”

“Who do you think you’re talking to? I could fire you and make sure you never find decent work again.”

“I don’t care. Call the damn number.” Ian huffs and walks out leaving a dumbfounded Ransom looking at your number again.

He grumbles under his breath and snatches the paper up. Ransom decided to get home before calling you.

When he’s finally home and had a drink he dials the number but he doesn’t press call. Ransom sets his phone on the coffee table and stares at it. Even now you made him nervous. The bad habit of bitting his nails, which you always admonished him for, comforted him. Maybe you finally wanted to tell him off for how he ended things. He did the same thing for the next few minutes. Grab his phone, look at the number, chicken out from actually calling and then bite his nails to ease his nerves. Finally after another glass of whiskey he dialed.

His heart was a jackhammer against his rib age when he heard your voice. But all at once all the nerves and uneasiness washed away. He shouldn’t have been surprised that even now you could calm him just with your voice. When the call ended Ransom was still completely shocked.

He had a chance to meet his kids and see you again. He sure as hell wasn’t going to waste that opportunity.

[levynite]

Went to temple the day before CNY Eve because oh boy do we not want to ford the press of a sea of humans while fighting a granny for a folding table to lay out the food offerings while slow choking to death in the thick haze of incense. (there's still more cleaning to do at home help)

Things of note this year:

*The confusion over the pre-ordered paper offerings because only two out of the 6 attendees can actually read fucking Chinese characters and the one who did the pre-ordering did not communicate to us directly about the new conditions, and only sent her brother who speaks in the briefest ways possible so he pointed at the items in question and said "Man, woman" and we're like ???? Yeah? we get 3 sets men and 3 sets women every year? (it comes with gender coded paper clothes) and then dad saw that we were short so he bought two more. Turns out, they were selling selling couple sets now and that's what my cousin pre-ordered, AND NOT TELL THE ONES WHO ASSEMBLES THEM EVERY YEAR.

Me: Eh, the ladies get spare clothes then! Besides the extra hell money.

*As I was washing up the temple provided dishes and teacups at the sinks just next to the doors that are between the memorial tablet hall and the fireplaces? where we burn the paper offerings, chaos briefly broke out behind me and I turn to see a small pile of flaming paper offerings in the middle of the open air covered tiled floor area that leads to said fireplace? and I'm like, wtf, you are about 15 feet short of where you should be; then I realised a temple staff was loudly chiding a temple patron for moronically lighting his paper offerings on fire on the many candles inside before walking through the increasing crowd to go outside and promptly dropped the whole fucking flaming mess onto the floor short of the fireplace? oven? kiln? that is already merrily blazing and people have been peacefully queuing up with armfuls of offerings to toss in. And he dropped it because it was already on merry fucking fire? It's all paper and cardboard? There's a breeze outside that fanned he flames? Like outside has wind and airflow? And he was a good distance away from where it's supposed to be burnt proper to float off to where ever the ancestors are??

F O O L

*So here's the thing about asking spiritual beings questions: kinda hard to do. So the Chinese developed simple "fortune telling" tools to glean any indication of an answer or a general direction. In this case, after laying out the food offerings, and offering up the joss sticks, and the paper offerings are assembled beautifully in a vaguely lotus shape, we have to wait while the ancestors "eat" and "drink" the food offerings (a can of Carlsberg for my Second Uncle in this case as well) and this can take a while; meanwhile we're slowly getting smoked by fragrant incense by all the joss sticks being lit. And it's not even the insane crowd on CNY Eve!

Anyways, my Second Uncle's wife is the most senior in the temple group so she's usually the one asking if the ancestors (and her late husband) are done eating yet. We use something called a jiaobei or poe (with the accent) or loosely translated as moon blocks. These are a pair of crescent shaped pieces of wood carved with matching flat and curved sides. You toss them onto the floor after silently asking a question directed to the gods or the ancestors or whatever spiritual being, and then depending on how they land you get a yes, no, or the rarest, a confused answer where the blocks stand on their edges???? (wtf seriously never seen).

So I keep hearing the wooden clacks of the blocks getting tossed after a minute or so pause in between, with each pause getting shorter. I was guarding the paper offerings but I got curious and went over to have a look after hearing 5 clacks in a row; it was my aunt. And she really wants to go home now because it's been 2 hours of slowly becoming smoked jerky, but she keeps getting two same sides up (no) again and again. She hands it over to her daughter (said cousin who caused the pre-ordering confusion earlier) and she gives it a go; it's a NO. I was like, uh maybe I can give it a go? Aunt tries one more time, gets another NO from the ancestors. Tries in front of her husband's memorial tablet; gets a YES. Fed up, she hands me the blocks because what else has she got to lose.

Me, shuffling over to in front of the ancestors' tablets: *silent asking* Cousin who has known me since I was a baby: WAIT WAIT WAIT.....don't throw so hard. Me, about to fling the blocks down onto the tiled floor where they are sure to bounce off into the underside of the insanely heavy ornamental tables and more folding tables holding food offerings and the many feet of other devotees: .......OK.....*flings down gently* Me, staring: IT'S A YES, LET'S GOOOOOO

You have never seen an octogenarian pack up a whole ass boiled chicken, steamed cupcakes, fruits, etc etc so fast. Meanwhile I've booked it to go get the paper offerings to burn to reach the spiritual realm of whatever; I dunno, I'm not well schooled in Buddhism.

Later on during lunch at home, I told dad what had happened and he wondered if the ancestors were annoyed at Second Sister-in-law for the paper offering screw up because it's the first time we've deviated like that, and that was why they kept telling her NO but she essentially kept going (and I'm paraphrasing a friend here) 'Are we done eating yet? Are you full? Are we done yet? How about now? How about now? How about now?'

Edit: Well that didn't save properly but anyways this thing has been sitting in my drafts for almost 2 weeks. Fortunately CNY has been pretty quiet despite how busy and exhausted I was (caught hives for some damn reason on the third day). And now I can finally post this up on the final day of celebrations lol.

[jinxthejubilee]

Out of all those recruiter x hero/princess/prince of their stories, which one do you think would actually work if things were done differently in their stories? This is for the platonic, family like vibes, and romances

I would hope that my personality pages already answered this question. And I think you've asked me that before as well. But for the new people in the fandom who want my opinion:

Apple Poison and Snow White:

My version of Apple starts off extremely cold, and dare I say charmingly sinister. Snowy probably wouldn't see him as a romantic option, and neither would he.

He's more amused by her than anything and finds her positive nature fascinating.

It could work if one wanted to flirt with the idea, and they would certainly be a more interesting pair than Snow and Prince Florian (Yes, that's the prince's actual name).

But personally, I see him more as a treasured friend and advisor to Snow than anything.

Jack Heart and Alice:

Big brother and little sister duo all the way!!

Though I'm a little concerned about how much ship fanart I see of them. And no, before anyone asks, it's not even adult Alice from the Tim Burton movies! She's her 12-year-old self from the 2d animated movie! Wtf guys???!!

With that out of the way, they would make the cutest sibling duo ever. Jack being the trickster, and Alice being the level-headed yet adventurous sister. So cute!

Malfi (Malfie) and Aurora

I actually like Prince Philip, but if we're looking at this from an alternate dimension, I could totally see Malfi and Aurora getting together.

Granted, in my mind, you would need to de-age Malfi since Aurora is 16, but Malfi, Jack, and Pretty Scar are three recruiters who I can see being in their late teens [17-18 at least].

Aurora's kindhearted, playful nature would bounce off his vain and egocentric one perfectly. And it would even help give Aurora even more depth than she already did.

I had this one idea that after Maleficent dies, Malfi turns back into a raven. Maybe that could factor in why he's so indebted to Maleficent since he doesn't want to give up his "perfect" form. However, he does the right thing and lives in peace knowing that.

Whether you play up the tragic angle, as in, Malfi would give her up for her to be with Prince Philip in the end, or if you actually want them to end up together, it would be an interesting set up.

Eight Foot Joe and Ariel

I've seen this as a ship, and I understand why. It's an adorable one when you think about it: Grumpy guy and sweet girl. We've seen this set up thousands of times, and we can't get enough of it.

But here's the problem I have with this ship: Ariel is canonically 16. Granted, we don't know how old Joe is, but by my personal guess, he seems to be either a stress-aged young adult or a tired grown adult in his early 30s.

I know the recruiters look a lot older than they probably are due to their on-stage actors, but they also serve as our main source of info on the characters they play as.

Not to mention that Joe even calls Ariel "a little girl" when a guest asks him about her, which indicates that he sees her as someone way younger than him.

Personally, I see them having an uncle and niece dynamic.

If we're reimagining the movie with Joe in it, he would probably be known across the sea as a servant of Ursula. I mean, it's kinda hard to hide when you're the only other cecaelian around.

Maybe a young Ariel met him when he was just an octopus before Ursula transformed him. Hence why Ariel can't recognize him years later.

You could do a lot with this idea and play around with Joe being an uncle figure in Ariel's life.

Mr. Dalmatia and...the Dalmatians?

I guess they are the main characters, right?

In all seriousness, Dalma would've been adopted straight away by Pongo and Perdita if he hadn't been accidentally left behind during the escape. He would drink up their parental praise like his favorite juice. Still a brat, though, but a cute one for sure.

Pretty Scar (Mzuri) and Simba

If circumstances were different, I could see Simba, Nala, and Mzuri being friends when they were younger. Mzuri would go along with Scar's rule because she's forced to by relatives. But to redeem herself, she helps Pumbaa and Timon distract the other hyenas when Simba comes back.

If I were to add Mzuri in the story without them knowing each other, I can only really see them settling their differences in the second movie since hyenas are not respected in the Lion King universe at all.

Going by this route, PS would either despise Scar after he cowardly cast the blame towards the hyenas, or PS still clings to Scar even after he died and helps to raise Kovu.

In my mind, Mzuri would hate Scar after his betrayal, so maybe after wandering around for a few years, she catches wind of Zira's plot to overthrow Simba and wants to put a stop to it.

Ms. Hades and Hercules

Aunt and nephew relationship. She'd be reluctant at first to get close to him, but she can't resist his compassionate nature and would give him advice when she could.

I could see her looking after him in secret on earth without Hades knowing. She, alongside Phil, would train him. And MH would have inside knowledge on Hades' plans.

Veil and Quasimodo

In a perfect world where these two weren't manipulated by a horrid man who dared to call himself an archdeacon, they would see each other as siblings.

In the true world, however, if Veil was in the picture, she wouldn't hate Quasimodo, but she would ignore him. The bell ringer himself would be the only one to think of himself and Veil as siblings.

After Frollo dies, they both talk about their experiences and slowly work their way towards a brother - and sister-esque relationship.

Lady Hock, Peter Pan, and Wendy

If Hock was on the winning side, she'd be the best older sister/cool aunt towards Peter, Wendy, and the Lost Boys.

She would be protective of them, read them stories, help Wendy keep her sanity every time she visited, and even take care of Jane.

Faja, Aladdin, and Jazmine

Again, speaking in this hypothetical perfect world, Aladdin, Faja, and Abu would have been best friends. Maybe even siblings.

Faja would have been far away from Jafar's influence and twisted mind games. Her fiestiness and insecurity would still be there, but her trust and security with Aladdin and Abu would overcome her fear.

She'd probably still want to learn magic, but she'd learn on her own terms.

However, in the true movie-verse, she would need to get over her misguided hatred towards Aladdin. He has everything a street rat like her could ever want, of course that would spawn jealousy.

In the end, she would team up with Aladdin in the "Jafar Returns" movie and later become the royal magician after Faja works on herself.

[thisisevenharderthannamingablog]

Well that was entertaining. Liveblogging notes for episode 1 below.

Lot of mirrors in this scene (often signpost deception). Kinn is executing a "betrayer," is there other stuff happening here? Opening scenes set up both characters at ease in their respective domains. Porsche has everyone at the bar eating out of his hand. Kinn is in control in the scene with the Italians (at least for the moment). Otherwise a study in contrasts and unbuttoned shirts.

And now presumably the Italians are trying to kill Kinn. Big, WTF I thought you were supposed to be the competent one? J/k I've been spoiled for this whole show and I feel bad for him and now he's gotten shot. Motorcycle guys not messing around. Kinn is a pretty good shot though? I like that perspective spin on the hallway!

Porsche, meanwhile, is having an excellent evening which gets very exciting. And lucrative!

The hairstylists on this set must have had fun arranging those stray wisps just right on Mile.

15 minutes into this, and Kinn's watching him ride off like Cinderella leaving the ball at midnight. All the bodyguards pull up like "oh thank god you're okay, we aren't going to get killed for failing at our job."

The Kittisawat house looks nice! Thank you for the slow pan, I love examining set dressing details. House plants, knick-knacks, and family photos. This is not the bachelor den one might expect from a household headed by a 23-year-old bartender/street fighter; someone has standards. Porsche's otherwise excellent evening has been dampened. Family has money troubles, can either pay school or rent - or, implied, food - but not all three.

Uncle lost all his money on CRYPTO? I was not expecting that. Everybody in this family is lying to each other, yikes.

More fancy camera angles! Character establishment! Porsche is a badass but he's also fighting a losing battle against The System to keep his little brother housed and fed. Bro's shirt says "today is a good day" in case we didn't realize that he is Innocence personified in all of this.

How does Uncle know where to move stolen watches? Kinda sus. Seriously Porsche you won't let your brother have a beer? The internet tells me that the drinking age in Thailand is 20.

Halfway point. Kinn's dad is doing pottery and giving Kinn a hard time. Kinn appears determined to keep handling the Italians his own way, and also to find Porsche.

Wait, Porsche is still in school TOO? At least occasionally? Also he is a brat. Also maybe don't give your friends' names as yours to Mafia people, dude. I mean, you were obviously lying, but still.

Uh-oh, busted. Kinn is way too amused about this whole thing. LOL we get it you are in fact high-class Mafia. Porsche is out of his depth and knows it. Not too high-class for straight-up threats.

This has to be the weirdest recruitment pitch I have ever seen. Just saying you could have gone with the money first rather than the kidnapping? Good on Porsche for not taking this bullshit lying down. Good on Kinn for being willing to get messed up. Good on Porsche for fighting dirty. Kinn what is your angle here?

Wait this was KORN's idea? Because Korn is thinking a bodyguard who can't be bought might be valuable? Kinn looks so thoroughly annoyed LOL.

Porsche's day keeps getting shittier as he has escaped but the house is busted up and rather than paying off their debts Uncle lost their money gambling. Uncle is a real asshole? Porsche is in a bind.

Chay is crying. :(( Porsche is crying. :((((( Oh no. This is great, you can see Porsche's terrible decision coming a mile away. More lying! Fantastic!!

Porsche has been there a hot minute and Big is already like "I do NOT get paid enough for this." Unfortunately for him both of the Theerapanyakuls appear to appreciate a gutsy smartass. Kinn is perplexed by whatever his father is up to? Korn seems satisfied. Love me a symbolic chess game.

[bylightofdawn]

Today was... a day. A very long, agonizing day. Started with driving to another town to visit my GP. Talked to him about wanting to try and figure out if I DO have ADD or not and also about a new sleep med since my sleep schedule is fucked.

Because that vertebra in my neck was out and I couldn't pull my head back so it was forcing my head forward in a weird posture this caused all the supporting muscles to start spasming so the pain just escalated from there. But because I was driving I couldn't take any kind of muscle relaxer. So by the time I got to my chiropractor and they put me on the table face down, it shoved my head back into a regular alignment which then caused all those muscles to go into a nuclear meltdown. I don't think the chick who was checking me in quite understood how much pain I was in but by the time she'd gotten to the massager I was fucking CRYING from her pushing my shoulders down with her body weight and it just fucking sucked big donkey balls.

My chiropractor came in and suggested I do combo therapy cause there was no way she was going to adjust me when my muscles were that tight and spasmodic. That's an extra 25 bucks which...sucks but at point I was trying to not bawl like a child in the office and it did definitely help a lot. I have a TENS unit but that ultrasound machine is like a new level. I've seen them online for a couple hundred bucks and if I didn't live alone and had someone who could help me reach my back I might seriously consider buying one but for now I'll make due with my TENS unit.

Thankfully, my chiropractor was able to adjust my neck but fuck me I am still so sore and in so much pain, it's not even funny. I am SO GLAD I requested the entire day off because of my doctor's appointment, I don't think I could have worked even after getting adjusted. Tomorrow is my regular day off and I really need to just suck it up and make up the hours but NGL? I'm still super sore and in a lot of pain so I don't know if that's going to happen. I think I'm going to work half a day and see how I feel then. I could always make up the other 4 hours on Sunday.

I'd prolly fucked up my sleep schedule even further because I came home around 4 and slept for four hours. But I was just so wiped out from the pain and the lack of sleep last night.

I caught this week's episode of Mandalorian however and I need to watch the Bad Batch because people are freaking out over Crosshair on twitter so I think I'm going to do that. I'd like to write a little more but that might be too optimistic on my part.

I deal with chronic pain all the time but holy fuckballs I don't think I've screwed up my neck that badly in years. I couldn't think clearly, couldn't <I>talk</I> because my mind kept blanking on words and I know I was a fucking zombie all day long. Bruh, that fucked me all up.

And I think it kinda concerned my doctor because he wants to see me again in 2 weeks. :/ We did switch my muscle relaxer to zanaflex which I have been on in the past so I guess we'll see how that goes. I haven't picked it up from the pharmacy yet and will try and do that tomorrow.

One good thing that happened was I found out the Game Stop in seguin has the Tobirama funko pop I was wanting and I bought that. Annnnd I might have bought the bad batch set cause it was on clearance as well. I thought about getting the Hashirama but meeeh. I don't like him nearly as much as Tobirama. My three Naruto blorbo were Tobirama, Shisui and Iruka. I might actually perish if Shisui got some love from the US market. There's some REALLY gorgeous and outrageously expensive status out of Japan which I'm not spending my money on. Though NGL I am honestly shocked and disappointed Iruka hasn't gotten his own funko pop yet. Like WTF, I know he's just the most mid ninja ever who is completely overshadowed by everyone else with their stupidly overpowered abilities but STILL. SMH

Okay, time to watch TBB and pass the fuck out time now.

[starlyte-writes]

Alright I was randomly thinking about Stranger Things S4 and the way they handled relationships so here’s my personal ideal way things could’ve gone:

First off- Steddie becomes canon. Fuck Eddie dying, fuck them trying to shove Nancy and Steve back together, Steddie is canon.

Look, I love both Nancy and Steve, but I seriously hate the way they’re trying to pair those two back together because they both grew thanks to their break up. After cutting from that unhealthy teenage romance Nancy became more independent and confident in herself and like Steve says he got a slap of realization and matured, overall becoming a better person. Both of them really gained from that break up and became their own people.

So while yes, theoretically, they could get back together now that they’ve changed, I really don’t like that cause it feels like it takes away the impact of that initial break up. Plus it just feels horribly forced and faked, like wtf was that little speech Steve gave Nancy about kids and stuff, why was that created.

Overall I really like the idea of them being good friends who’ve both changed for the better rather than forced back into what might as well end up being yet another toxic romance. Sometimes people just aren’t meant to be romantic with each other, even if they’re both good people, and that’s okay.

Plus, the way they’re forcing Nancy and Johnathan apart for this is really weak. While I love the idea of Nancy and Robin getting together cause ~gay~ I really do think her and Johnathan have a strong relationship. We’ve seen it built up for three seasons now and if the writers seriously expect me to believe it just takes around a year apart and fucking college to tear them apart they must think I’m stupid.

All those two need is a little communication and it’ll be right as rain. I really love their relationship and the way they’re tarnishing it with these little problems to force Nancy and Steve together really just sucks.

Also I think Vicky is really cute so character-wise I see the best outcome is Nancy and Johnathan stay together and Robin and Vicky start dating.

ANYWAY back to Steve, I know the whole set up of him going on a million different dates with a million different girls was so it could be some lame ass story of “The only girl he wants is Nancy, the only girl he can’t have blah blah hetero nonsense” BUT I like seeing it as a story of suppression.

Personally, I’m a bisexual truther for Steve (for absolutely no biased reason COUGH COUGH) so while yeah Steve likes girls, the reason he could’ve been going into overdrive with it was because it wasn’t working and he was panicking. What’s he supposed to do if he can’t get with a girl? It’s not like he could date anyone else, of COURSE not.

Then story stuff starts happening and he can’t really focus on his love life (which is a relief to him) until one man named Eddie Munson enters the scene. 

Do I really have to explain their chemistry? Like, come on, they’re perfect for each other. Eddie is so vastly different from Steve with his whole “freak metal DnD” lifestyle and it confuses Steve. He doesn’t know how to interact with him, something we see in the show, but further more he doesn’t know how to identify how Eddie makes him feel. He’s scared by whatever it is and fails to not focus on it.

Of course, Robin, lesbian bestie, teases him to no end about it without outright saying what it is because Steve needs to discover it on his own. And of course on Eddie’s end the man is a raging homosexual but also knows how stupid Steve is, so he has his fun flirting knowing Steve probably (hopefully) won’t catch on.

Then? Eddie doesn’t die cause FUCK YOU /nm and goes onto the fifth season where both of them are forced to work together more, Steve finally figures his shit out, and they get together. Steddie wins, you’re welcome.

So, as a recap for the older kids, we have Steve with Eddie, Nancy with Johnathan, and Robin with Vicky.

Now onto the Byler dilemma cause dear god.

First of all, the queerbaiting was beyond painful with those two like just wow. I wasn’t expecting any Byler content as much as I would’ve liked it, but I at the least thought we’d get Will coming out to either Mike or Johnathan. So I’m personally a little pissed off about that.

Anyway, Byler’s tricky for me because I don’t necessarily mind Mike and El being together. They’ve had their bumps (mostly Mike being stupid) but they’re not awful in any way. Yet I still want Mike and Will to get together because Will deserves that.

So, in my head, I like the idea that when Mike and El have that fight before El is arrested, they actually break up with each other. Both of them think they’re failing the other member and have this mindset of “you’re better off without me” so they both break up, thinking they shouldn’t be together until they’re good enough for the other person. A very upset mutual break up.

Then El goes to work on Project NINA where she thinks this’ll help her figure out if she’s the monster/stop being the monster so that she can be better for Mike. But, while she’s there, along learning several other things, she comes to the conclusion maybe it’s better if they don’t get back together. Sort of like when Max and her went to the mall to hang out. 

That independent “I don’t need a man” mindset but rather than being aggressive at Mike with it she recognizes they might just be better off not worrying about romance right now. Especially with everything going on.

Meanwhile, on Mike’s end, he has that conversation with Will on how he thinks he’s failing El and stuff. The place gets ambushed, they rush off to find Suzie etc etc, but Mike has a couple discoveries along the way. Namely, how incredible Will is.

At first his main motivation is making things up for El, being the better boyfriend she deserves. But while they’re busy doing things he starts noticing Will and everything he does, everything he’s ever done for Mike. (Aka Will doesn’t get shoved to the back like he did this season and starts doing more stuff)

Mike gets his little gay awakening, the two of them talk more and more (that whole “your the heart” speech does not happen because honestly wtf was that) and when El and Mike finally reunite it’s a bit awkward because they hug, pause, then pull away like “I missed you so much!...buddy.”

Mike can still do the whole speech to El so that she stops Vecna, but instead of it being centered around his love for her, it should be more so all of their love for her. Like the others should chime in too and she gets all these memories about all of them and how hugely they’ve affected her life for the better.

Plot continues like normal (BUT EDDIE DOESN’T DIE he will not die) and we cut to the two days later. That’s when I want Mike and Will to have their little confession moment. They don’t have to kiss, though it’s welcome, just a little moment where Mike is confused but knows he cares a lot about Will, always has, Will admits his feelings (that’s where he can show the painting and it could be something centered just around Mike like we all thought it’d be) and yay, Byler canon!

Luke and Max are perfect, they don’t need changing. That was the one relationship the writers nailed on the head this season (that and Joyce and Hopper). I care for them so dearly.

So, we get Steve and Eddie, Nancy and Johnathan, Robin and Vicky, Will and Mike, Luke and Max, and El enjoying the single life proudly. I think character-wise for me personally this would’ve been the best way to go about their relationships but oh well, can’t change canon.

This is just how it is in my heart, hope you enjoyed my rant. 👍

[sleepy-bebby]

Encanto review thingy sort of

Unpopular opinion but even though I love the songs in Encanto, specifically “surface pressure” and “we don’t talk about Bruno”, I felt that the story itself was just slightly above average, like a 6.5/10.

Pros:

It was relatable, especially coming from a background similar to the characters of Encanto where family pressures and the overemphasis on the importance of family ties actually often end up being detrimental mentally to the children, and that people who end up not fitting in/being useful become the black sheep and is ostracised or even not spoken about at family gatherings.

That’s one of the reasons I adore Luisa, she never treated Mirabel horribly. Even though she’s this big buff strong woman that everyone relies on, you can still see such love and gentleness she has towards her younger “untalented” sister. I mean look at how she has her arm around Mirabel in this photo. Just 💕.

Bruno loves his family so much that the thought of him hurting or ruining his family’s image with his gift caused him to “disappear” and essentially live within the walls of the house, to remain close with his family, but not so close that he can cause them further unhappiness.

Other pros:

The overall animation and character expressions were amazing, the world was colourful instead of drab, the settings were stunning.

Cons:

There is not enough time given to each individual character and the conflicts are resolved too quickly. The pacing of the movie is also very weird, important scenes in the movie feel rushed and feelings are glossed over.

Mirabel has all the right in the world to feel disdain towards the perfect Isabela. Even though Isabela suffered as well from the pressures of being perfect, she was also constantly mean spirited to Mirabel in a way that Luisa never was. And then they sing a song about how Isabela was doing it for the family and was not given freedom to express herself and they hug and the good ending prophecy was achieved or whatever.

Same with Mirabel’s conflict with Abuela. Like yeah, I get it, she’s old and had her own trauma, but she was definitely let off too easily. Like her attitude towards her own son cause him to self-exile for 10 years because he thought that was the only way to make her and in extension the rest of the family happy. Seriously, wtf? Then they sing a song and she hugs him and everything is sunshine and rainbows again.

While I do not hate Alma as a character, I think more of the healing should’ve been shown on screen rather than an off screen implication.

Even though it’s realistic because you can have the worst grandma ever (a.k.a my paternal grandma) and everyone just brushes it off as “she’s old”, “she’s suffered a lot in her life”, “it’s a generational thing”. It’s a bad lesson to teach in a movie. I mean basically Alma went “sorry, it was trauma lol, but I’ll be better now :)” and everything she did that hurt others in the past just doesn’t matter anymore. Everyone’s mental health is now cured. 🌈

Anyway, yeah.

Tldr,

1. good songs

2. love most of the characters

3. unfortunately there were so many characters that most of them feel very under-utilised. The movie would have benefited from an additional hour or from a mini series. Example: I love Antonio but I straight up forget he existed every time he wasn’t in frame.

4. the way they resolved conflicts were lame, the way they just sing away their trauma and immediately forgive the people who mistreated them was also kinda lame.

No need to add your 2¢ cause I kinda don’t care lol. Make your own opinion essay.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 301: All My Todorokis

Previously on BnHA: We learned that when a bunch of superpowered villains are suddenly set loose with nobody around to stop them, things get fucked pretty quickly. Old Man Samurai and a bunch of other useless people decided to make “I pretend I do not see it” their new mantra, and resigned. Endeavor had a moment of despair on account of being crushed by the guilt of having ruined the lives of himself, his family, and basically everyone else in the entire world. For various reasons the heretical notion of “person who has done bad things feels sorry for doing them” sent fandom spiraling into a meltdown, so that was fun. The chapter ended with the entire Todoroki clan descending upon Enji’s hospital room to have a dramatic chat about Touya and All That General Fuckery.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi is all “here’s the story of how Baby Touya slowly went insane trying to win his father’s love.” It’s a tale full of subverted expectations and heartbreaking inevitability, and also like twenty panels of the cutest fucking kids who ever existed on planet earth, who are so fucking cute that I can’t stop thinking about their cuteness even with all of the horrifying family tragedy unfolding around them. It is absolutely ridiculous how cute they are. Touya is out here pushing his tiny body past its limits because he inherited the same obsession as his dad and neither of them can put it aside even though it’s destroying them, and yet all I can think about is Baby Shouto’s (。･o･｡) face. Anyways what a chapter.

so I have to confess that even though I managed to avoid being caught off-guard by the early leaks, the number of people reblogging my Endeavor posts from earlier this week and using the tag “bnha 301” kind of gave me an inkling that this chapter will include more Tododrama lol. that said, I don’t know anything else about it, so we’re still good spoiler-wise

AHHHHH FLAHSBAKC AHHHH. omg I know I typoed the shit out of that, but I’m just going to leave it lol I think it’s fitting

holy shit holy fuck. so this is Rei and Enji’s first meeting, then??

yepppp, oh shit

so wait, I know this is not even the slightest bit important, but are they meeting at Enji’s home or Rei’s? because I always figured that Enji was the one with the super-Japanese aesthetic, but maybe that was Rei’s side of the family all along

(ETA: from what I found during my very brief google search, omiai meetings are often held at fancy hotels or restaurants, so maybe that’s what this is.)

there’s such a period drama feel to this setting. like it’s so outrageously formal fff how can anyone stand this kind of atmosphere though seriously

OH THANK GOD

I mean they’re still stiff af but at least they’re not rigidly sitting in seiza and staring at each other unblinkingly anymore lol. Enji’s actually got his hands in his pockets now. why is this somehow almost cute

oh damn it’s the flowers

Rei seems so subdued and it’s so hard to get any idea of what she’s actually thinking. I want to see her side of this dammit

but anyway, so at least from Enji’s perspective it seems like even though the marriage was arranged and he picked her because of her quirk, he still loved his wife and wanted to do right by her. the fact that he was watching her and noticed that she liked the flowers, and remembered that detail for all these years -- there’s a reason why Horikoshi’s showing us this. we know what’s going to happen later on; we know how much fear and violence and breaking of trust is coming up ahead, and while it may seem like this scene is serving to soften Enji’s character further -- which to be fair it is -- it also helps drive home the full impact of his abuse. that it’s so terrible not only because of the trauma of the abuse itself, but also because of the way it retroactively destroys all of the good things as well. this could have potentially been such a sweet scene, but it’s inescapably tainted by the knowledge of what’s to come, at least for me. and that’s just brutal

anyways, shit. is the whole chapter going to be like this?? feel free to toss in something I can actually make a joke about sometime, Horikoshi

oop, back to the present

omfg lol

“are you all right” “NO I’M NOT ALL RIGHT WHAT THE FUCK.” “oh, right, because of all the stuff that’s happened with me abusing you and you having a mental breakdown and being hospitalized for ten years and then our son coming back to life and killing thirty people, right, right. I almost forgot.” whoops

omfg you guys I’m loving this new and improved steely-eyed Rei. I’m loving her a lot

and what do you mean “part one” fkjds how long is this going to be. TOO MUCH DRAMA FOR ONE CHAPTER TO HANDLE

oh, hello

yeah I’ll say you did. didn’t seem to bother you much at the time, though

HMMMMMMMMMMMM

Dabi Is A Noumu intensifies even further. anyways though would you fucking look at this boy lounging on this moth-eaten couch doing his best DRAW ME LIKE YOUR FRENCH GIRLS impression wtf

Dabi what if you actually had killed him??? what would you feel?? satisfaction?? regret?? anything at all?? tell me your secrets goddammit

who are you talking to buddy

Fuyumi-chan, Natsu-kun (is it common for brothers to address each other as -kun?? can’t recall seeing that in many other anime, but hey), and “dot dot dot,,,,,, SHOUTO” lol thank you so much for this bountiful heaping of Tododrama Horikoshi we are blessed

AH, WHAT DID I SAY THE OTHER DAY

ULTIMATE MELODRAMATIC THEATER CHILD. “I’M JUST GOING TO LIE ON THIS COUCH SHIRTLESS AND ALONE AND MAKE SPEECHES TO MY FAMILY MEMBERS WHO AREN’T THERE AND SAY THINGS LIKE ‘WATCH ME IN THE PITS OF HELL’ WITH A STRAIGHT FACE BECAUSE NO ONE’S THERE TO JUDGE ME.” WELL JOKE’S ON YOU MISTER CHATTERBOX BECAUSE I AM IN FACT JUDGING THE SHIT OUT OF YOU LOL

(ETA: and on a more serious note, it’s interesting to see that “look at me”/”watch me” theme being used again though, because we see that same sentiment uttered repeatedly by the younger Touya in the flashback. well kid, you definitely got your wish at last. don’t know what else to say.)

OKAY HORIKOSHI HAS DECIDED THAT’S ENOUGH FUN, TIME FOR MORE FLASHBACKS

oh my sweet precious lord

just as cute as we left him. giving us a child this cute when we all know full well what’s going to happen to him is just unspeakably cruel though

HOMG

I’m fucking speechless. you broke me, congratulations. what am I even supposed to do with this

I can’t get over this. moving forward my life will be split into two distinct parts, B.P. (Before the Pout) and A.P. (After the Pout)

and meanwhile there’s ALL THIS BACKGROUND ANGST BUILDING UP, AND I CAN’T EVEN FOCUS ON IT. Touya’s arm and cheek are covered in bandages (I’m guessing this is shortly after that “ouch!” panel we got some chapters back), and Enji is deliberately avoiding training with him because he doesn’t want him to hurt himself further. I can’t fucking get over the irony that all this time everyone thought Touya had died because Enji pushed him too far in his training, and it turns out that it’s the opposite -- the tragedy ultimately happened because he didn’t want to push him. but I’m jumping ahead of myself though I guess

by the way,

remember this?? just wanted to remind you that it exists just in case you forgot

so now someone is talking and basically saying that Touya is the exact opposite of what Enji was hoping for when he decided to start playing with quirk genetics

-- okay hold up

...lol no, never mind. for a second I thought “holy shit he looks kind of familiar WHAT IF IT’S UJIKO OMG” before I remembered that Enji would have recognized him during the hospital capture mission if that was the case. so NEVER MIND, PROCEED

IMAGINE THAT, ENJI DOESN’T QUITE SEEM SATISFIED WITH THIS SUGGESTION OF QUITTING NOW

(ETA: how the fuck did this man go around saving 62 towns in a single day what even is All Might.)

[clicks tongue several times] trouble a’brewin’

MEANWHILE BABY TOUYA HAS UNFORTUNATELY INHERITED HIS DAD’S STUBBORN STREAK

KLDIHWOEIJFL:KSDJ

!!!!!!!!!!!

oh my god. oh my god. what is this chapter. WHAT IS IT

so now Touya is all “YOU JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND MY MANLY DESIRE TO BURN MYSELF ALIVE” well you got her there champ

THEY’RE TOO CUTE. OH MY GOD. HIS FURIOUS LITTLE TEARS. HER CHUBBY LIL FACE. HIS STUBBY LIL FISTS. SOMEONE HELP ME

also are they just home alone lol or what. “hey Touya, you’re what, like six now?? do us a favor and look after your baby sister for a couple hours for us would you? make sure not to set yourself on fire or anything.” WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG!!

now it’s nighttime and Enji and Rei are arguing, presumably about his decision not to train Touya anymore

whew. okay. so, a couple of things here

1. first of all I think this conclusively shows that Enji really was trying to do the best he could for Touya. he stopped training him as soon as he realized it was hurting him, but Touya was still determined so he tried to make it work anyway, and even visited doctors to try and figure out if there was anything they could do. then, once they were absolutely sure that it wasn’t going to work, he tried multiple times to explain to Touya why they had to stop. he didn’t just abandon him out of the blue, which is really important to note. “no matter how much I tried telling him...”

so yeah, that debunks another common fandom accusation. so by the time he finally makes this decision, which we all know is going to turn out horribly, it’s basically because he’s already tried everything else he could think of. which, by the way, still doesn’t mean he handled this right. but at the very least he was taking Touya’s feelings into account and he was trying, and he didn’t just abruptly toss his son aside (at least not yet)

2. buuuut, then there’s this panel right below all that

which is the other side of it. if he’d just quit like the doctor person advised him to, that would have been the end of it. Touya would still have been upset, but he would have eventually gotten over it and the family would have moved on and possibly even been happy. but what happens next happens because Enji can’t let go. he still has this maddening urge to surpass All Might, and so he and Rei keep having more children, and then Shouto is born, and Enji finally has a kid he can start projecting all of his hysterical ambitions onto once again, and everything starts spiraling out of control soon after

though p.s. none of that is Shouto’s fault though!! he’s one of the few good things to come out of this whole mess and I’m very happy that he exists. the tragedy is that his dad fucking lost his mind over his quirk and fucked everything up. but that’s on him, not Touya or Shouto

anyways, SLKFJLSHGLKJL

I CAN’T FUCKING TAKE THIS YOU GUYS??? LOOK AT THAT LIL BUTTON OF A NOSE??? I’M LOSING IT HERE???

AND TOUYA JUST SEEMS DEVASTATED OMG

because children aren’t stupid, after all. he understands that his dad is still looking to surpass All Might. and so he feels like a failure, and feels like his dad is trying to replace him because he wasn’t good enough. and even now, isn’t that what the adult Touya is trying to prove?? that he was good enough after all?? “I’ll show you what happens when you give up on me, dad”?? “I’ll show you what I can do”?? fuck my life fuck everything

AND YOU CAN SEE THE TOLL THAT IT’S ALL TAKING ON REI GETTING WORSE AND WORSE AS WELL OH GOD

really nice touch here with the panel outlines becoming all shimmery from the heat of Endeavor’s flames (and/or becoming more unstable as the family gets closer and closer to their breaking point). but man, Horikoshi I can’t handle this, please show us more cute kids or something I can’t

GKELKWFJLDKSHFLKL

WITTLE BABE. BEEB. BUBS. SMOL. lkj; oh ouch a piece of my heart just detached and latched onto him huh look at that

TODOROKI “I’M SO SMALL AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT’S GOING ON AND I DIDN’T ASK TO BE HERE” SHOUTO AHHHHH

crazy how they all just seem to know right off the bat lol. kid doesn’t even have object permanence yet, let alone a quirk. but do they care?? IT’S THE HAIR, RIGHT. WE’RE ALL THINKING IT, I’M JUST GONNA COME OUT AND SAY IT. they knew the minute they looked at him lol

AND MEANWHILE TOUYA IS OFF HAVING UNSUPERVISED TRAINING/CRYING SESSIONS IN THE MOUNTAINS OR WHATEVER, AND, UH OH

are those blue flames yet?? they seem pretty close

(ETA: this is one of the few cases where the manga being in black and white is infuriating lol.)

OH MY GOD AND STILL

so it’s not like he was so disinterested that he didn’t notice what was happening, and he was still trying to stop it and get through to him. trying to reassure him that it wasn’t the end of the world and there were other things he could do with his life, but this one particular thing just wasn’t going to happen

fucking hell. it’s agonizing seeing how close they actually were to fixing it. if he’d only said the right words, or if he’d realized at this point how destructive his obsession could be to his kids, and backed off from putting that same pressure on Shouto. we came so close to possibly having a happy ending

AND ALSO THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING BUT PLEASE LOOK AT HOW TOUYA IS LIKE THREE AND A HALF FEET TALL AND HIS DAD IS LIKE NINE AND A HALF FEET. Touya barely comes past his knees flkjlkg. the Todoroki household must have been so filled with like plastic stepstools to reach the bathroom sink and all the little baby toothbrushes, and baby gates to keep the kiddos out of the important grown-up rooms and stuff. and also days-old half-empty cups of water and stale crackers and hot wheels and my little ponies strewn everywhere

“BUT EVERYONE AT SCHOOL SAYS THEY’RE GONNA BE HEROES” a wild Deku parallel appears?? how bout that

I know this is like a pivotal moment in the Todo Tragedy and all, but fucking look at this lil dumpling

“sup bro, it’s me, the manifestation of your fears of inadequacy and lack of fatherly affections. a GAAA. ba-baAA-baa [gurgling baby sounds]”

OHHHHH IT’S THE SOUND OF MY HEART BREAKING OH NO

HE WANTS TO BE LIKE YOU ENJI. good lord somebody please just get this family some therapy

“DAD YOU IGNITED IT IN ME” flkjslkj nope, nope. not ready for this pain here

baby Shouto, would you like to weigh in on this affair? “DA!! ba-ga-daaa, [pacifier chewing noises]” oh my, you don’t say. so insightful for one so young

OH MY GODDDDDD

IT’S SO DRAMATIC BUT ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT ARE THE SHOUNEN WOOSH LINES SURROUNDING FOUR-MONTH-OLD SHOUTO LOL HE WAS LIKE THIS FROM BIRTH OH MY GOD I AM DYING HELP

SHOUTO YOU’RE RUINING THIS ENTIRE CHAPTER!?!?!

“yo, the fuck kind of family was I fucking born into” oh, son. if you only knew. IF YOU ONLY KNEW!!

(ETA: lmao I got so distracted by the ridiculous cuteness that I glossed over the fact that Baby Touya seems to possibly be aiming at him?? it’s hard to tell because he’s also super out of it from heatstroke and may just be losing control in his attempt to show off his upgrade.)

ANYWAY THAT’S THE END EXCEPT WHAT’S THIS LAST LINE OMG

ffffff. and we’re in for ANOTHER chapter of this next week?? MORE drama?? MORE BABIES?? MORE OF EIGHT-YEAR-OLD TOUYA’S SLOW DESCENT INTO MADNESS. MY HEART CAN’T TAKE IT, BUT ALSO YES PLEASE SIGN ME UP

[sixth-light]

The Crusades: A Fandom Primer

Like many of you, I am very excited to see a whole lot of fic about everybody’s favourite new Crusades-era Muslim/Christian immortal warrior husbands! However, a preliminary reading indicates that fandom is a bit hazy on what actually happened during the Crusades. Or where. Or why. They’re a much-mythologised piece of history so this isn’t surprising, but at popular request – ok like five people that counts – I’m here with a fandom-oriented Crusades primer.

Please bear in mind that I’m not a historian and this primer is largely based on my notes and recollections from several undergraduate history courses I took in the mid ‘00s. I expect the field has moved on somewhat, and I welcome corrections from people with more up-to-date knowledge! There’s also this very good post by someone who is a lot less lazy about links than I am.

Where did they take place?

The Crusades, broadly, describe a series of invasions of the Eastern Mediterranean (modern Israel, Syria, Lebanon, Beirut, Jordan, Cyprus, and parts of Turkey and Greece) by (mostly) Western European armies, religiously justified by their belief that the city of Jerusalem should be part of ‘Christendom’, i.e. ruled by a Christian monarch. In the first expression of European settler colonialism, nobles from the area of modern France and Germany founded four Crusader Kingdoms (aka ‘Outremer’, ‘overseas’) – the County of Edessa, the Principality of Antioch, the Kingdom of Jerusalem, and County of Tripoli.

  After a first unexpected wave of success in the First Crusade (1096-1099), which surprised everybody including the participants by conquering Jerusalem, the Crusaders were gradually driven and the last part of Outremer was lost to European control with the fall of the city of Acre in 1291. Crusades after that still nominally aimed to take Jerusalem but rarely got very far, with the Fourth Crusade famously sacking the city of Byzantium, their nominal Christian allies, in 1204. During this whole period activity that can be considered part of the ‘Crusades’ took place around the Eastern Mediterranean.

The most important thing to remember is that modern national boundaries didn’t exist in the same way; Italy, Germany, France, Spain, and the UK were not unified nations. Most of the southern Iberian peninsula (modern Spain) was ‘al-Andalus’, Muslim kingdoms ruled by nobility originally from North Africa. Sicily had been an Emirate up until very recently, when it had been conquered by Normans (Vikings with a one-century stopover in France). Italy and Germany in particular were a series of city-states and small duchies; Genoa, if you’re curious about it for some reason, ;), was a maritime power with more or less a distinct language, Genoese Ligurian (their dialect had enough of a navy to qualify). England had recently become part of the Anglo-Norman Empire, which ruled most of England (but not Wales or Scotland) and also large parts of modern France, particularly Normandy.

The Muslim world was similarly fragmented in ways that don’t correspond to modern national boundaries - there were multiple taifa states in Iberia, the Almoravid Caliphate in Morocco, the Fatimid Caliphate in Egypt, and (nominally) the Abbasid Caliphate in Baghdad, one of the great cities of the era, although the Seljuq Turks were the major power in Anatolia (modern Turkey) and what we describe as the ‘Middle East’. 

The largest Christian unified power in the wider European/Mediterranean region was the Byzantine Empire, centered on the city of Constantinople (modern Istanbul), which quite fairly considered itself the direct continuation of the Roman Empire, the capital having been moved there by the Emperor Constantine in 323. In fact, the really big political and religious question of the time for Christians was who got to be considered the centre of Christendom (there was no real concept of ‘Europe’ at this point) – the Orthodox Church, the Byzantine Emperor, and the Patriarch of Constantinople in Constantinople, or the Holy Roman Emperor (er…dude in nominal charge of a lot of German and Italian principalities) and the Roman Catholic Church led by the Pope in Rome. The Orthodox Church in Constantinople and the Roman Catholic Church had agreed to disagree in 1054 in the Great Schism, so in 1096 this issue was still what you’d call fresh.

Onto this stage of East-West disagreement and the heritage of Rome crashed the Seljuq Turks, a Muslim group from Central Asia who swept through Anatolia (modern Turkey), Byzantium’s richest province, culminating in the Battle of Manzikert in 1071 which wiped out Byzantium as an independent military force. The southern provinces had fallen under Muslim rule long ago, during the era of the first Umayyad Caliphate – including Jerusalem, famous as the birthplace of Christianity and a holy site for Judaism and Islam as well, but also a fairly uninteresting provincial town. Until...

Until…what?

Here’s why all the geography matters: It is generally accepted that the First Crusade kicked off largely because Alexios I Comnenus, the then-current Byzantine Emperor, requested aid from Western Europe against the Muslim Seljuq Turks. Byzantium often recruited mercenaries from Western Europe; the Normans (aka the Vikings), who had settled Normandy and southern Italy in the past century were frequent hires. Hence those runes in the Hagia Sophia.

Meanwhile in Western Europe, the Pope – Urban II – was having difficulty with the current Emperor, and was eager to heal the Schism and establish the primacy of the Roman church. He declared that an expedition to aid the Byzantines would have the blessing of the church, and that a new kind of pilgrimage – an armed pilgrimage – was religiously acceptable, if aimed against the enemies of Christendom.

Pilgrimages (travelling to holy sites, such as churches that held saints’ relics) were a major part of European Christianity at the time and many people went on pilgrimage in their lives, so this was a familiar concept. Western Europe was also somewhat overpopulated with knights – don’t think plate armour, this is 1096, think very murderous rich men with good swords – who could always use forgiveness, on account of all the murder. The Roman Catholic church, unlike the Eastern Orthodox church, also subscribed to the concept of ‘just war’, that war could be acceptable for the right reasons. And so a whole lot of nobles from the area of modern France, Belgium, England, Germany, and Italy decided that this new Crusade thing was something they wanted in on – and they took several armies with them.

I’m going to skip over a bunch of stuff involving the People’s Crusade (a popular movement of poorer people, got literally slaughtered in Anatolia), the massacres of Jews in Eastern Europe, and a lot of battles, but the takeaway is this: Alexios probably thought he was getting mercenaries. He got a popular religious movement that, somewhat unfortunately, actually achieved its goal (Jerusalem), did next to nothing to solve his Anatolia problem, and gave a succession of Popes a convenient outlet for errant knights, nobles, and rulers: going on Crusade.  

How many were there?

Official Crusades that anybody cares about: Nine, technically. Crusade-like military events that immortal soldiers might have got involved with, plus local stoushes in Outremer: way more. WAY more.

The First Crusade (1096-1099): First and original, set a frankly (heh) terrible precedent, founded the Crusader States and captured Jerusalem. Only regarded as a clash of civilisations by the Western Christians involved. For the local Muslims it was just another day at the ‘Byzantium hires Frankish mercenaries to make our lives difficult’ office.

The Crusade of 1101: Everybody who peaced out on the First Crusade hurried to prove they were actually up for it, once the remaining First Crusaders took Jerusalem. Didn’t do much.

The Second Crusade (1147-1150): The County of Edessa falls, Eleanor of Aquitaine happens (my fave), the only winners are the people who semi-accidentally conquer Lisbon (in Portugal) (but from Muslim rulers so that…counts?).

The Third Crusade (1189-1192): You all know this one because it has RICHARD THE LIONHEART and SALADIN. Much Clash of Civilisations, very Noble, did enough to keep the remaining Crusader kingdoms going but access to Jerusalem for Christian pilgrims was obtained by treaty, not conquest. Indirectly responsible for the Robin Hood mythos when Richard gets banged up in prison on the way home and is away from England for ages.

The Fourth Crusade (1202-1204): Aims for Jerusalem, ends up sacking the Eastern Orthodox city of Constantinople, just not a great time for anybody, more or less the eventual cause of the fall of Constantinople to the Ottomans in 1453.  

The Fifth Crusade (1217-1221): Still going for Jerusalem, starts with Cairo instead, does not get anywhere it wants to even after allying with the Anatolian Sultanate of Rum, making the whole ‘Christians vs Muslims’ thing even murkier than it already was post the Fourth Crusade.

The Sixth Crusade (1228-1229): Somehow these things are still going. Nobody even does very much fighting. Access to Jerusalem is negotiated by treaty, yet again.

The Seventh, Eight, and Ninth Crusades: Seriously nobody cares anymore and also nobody is trying very hard. Kings have better things to do, mostly. People end up in Egypt a lot. We covered these in one lecture and I have forgotten all of it.

The Albigensian Crusade (1209-1229): Why take a three-year trip to the Holy Land to fight pagans when you can fight the ones in your own backyard (southern France), AND take their stuff? Famously the source of the probably apocryphal ‘Kill them all, God will know His own’ quote, regarding the massacre of most of a city harbouring Cathars (a Christian sect deemed heretical).

Can we circle back to that ‘massacres of Jews’ bit? WTF?

Crusades, historically, were Not A Good Time for Jewish communities in Europe; when Christians were riled up to go and Fight The Infidel, it was a lot quicker to massacre local Jews than travel to the Holy Land. Also, then you could take their stuff. I will note here that it is VERY TACKY to use historical pogroms as backdrops for your non-Jewish main characters so keep this in mind but, like, use with extreme caution in fanfic, okay? Generally life was a lot easier for Jewish communities in Muslim-ruled states in this period, which is why so many Hispanic Jews ended up in Turkey after they were expelled from Spain. 

What were they really about, then?

Historians still Have Opinions about this. Genuine religious fervour was absolutely a key motivator, especially of the First Crusade. The ability to wage war sanctioned by the Church, or to redeem your local sins by going and fighting against the pagans, was part of that, too. Control of key trade routes to the East was probably not not a part of it. The Crusader States were definitely Baby’s First Experiment With Settler Colonialism, and paved the theological and rhetorical ground for the colonisation of the Americas. But many individuals on the Christian side would absolutely have believed they were doing God’s work. The various Muslim rulers and certainly the local Christian, Jewish, and Muslim inhabitants of the Holy Land itself were mostly just getting invaded by Franks. As time wound on the Crusades became more and more political (frequently featuring intra-religious violence and inter-religious alliances) and less and less about their forever nominal goal, control of Jerusalem.

How’s Wikipedia on this?

Basically not too bad but I’m not totally confident on some of the bits about motivation (see: white supremacists love this period, ugh.)

Why did they stop?

The prospect of re-taking Jerusalem vanished entirely as the Ottoman Empire centralised and took a firm hold over most of the Levant (and made inroads into Europe, as far as Austria, taking Constantinople in 1453 and finally ending the continuous Roman Empire), the Spanish Reconquista and various intra-European conflicts (the Hundred Years’ War, for example) absorbed military attention, and then the Reformation happened and half of Europe stopped listening to the Pope and started stabbing each other over who was the right kind of Christian. But the concept lingered; white supremacists love the Crusades. Which is why it is a very good idea to be sparing with Crusader imagery around Niccolò in fanfic set in the modern era, and please for fuck’s sake stop with the ‘crugayders’ tag, Yusuf wasn’t a Crusader.  

What other fun facts should I keep in mind re: Nicky | Nicolò and Joe | Yusuf?

·        Genoa is not the same as Italy; Nicolò is Nicolò di Genova and would have spoken Genoese (Ligurian) and considered himself to be Genoese. Italian as a language didn’t really exist yet. The language he and Yusuf would most likely have had in common was the ‘lingua franca’ (Frankish language, literally) of the Mediterranean trading region, a pidgin based heavily on maritime Italian languages. Yusuf 300% would have thought of him as a ‘Frank’ (the generic term for Western Christians) and probably annoyed him by calling him that until at least 1200 or so.

·        Yusuf is apparently from ‘Maghrib’, which I assume means al-Maghrib/the Maghreb (as his actor is IIRC of Tunisian descent), i.e. North Africa. He could have had relatives in al-Andalus (southern modern Spain), he may have spoken languages other than Arabic natively (Mozarabic or Berber), his native area had universities before Europe did. Basically: this is as useful as saying he’s ‘from Europe’, do better backstory writers.

·        Taking the whole ‘Nicky used to be a priest’ backstory at face value: being a priest in 1096 looked pretty different to how it did even 200 years later. They were still working on the celibacy thing. The famous monastic orders were still forming. Some priests could and did hold lands and go to war (this wasn’t common but it happened, especially if they were nobles by birth). Nicolò di Genova would not necessarily have seen a conflict between going on Crusade and being a priest, is what I’m getting at. If he was ALSO trained as a knight, he was from a wealthy family; it took the equivalent several villages to support a knight.

·        ‘Period-typical homophobia’ is going to look very different for this period. They are NOT getting beaten up for holding hands. Or sharing a bed! Or even kissing, depending on the circumstances! I am not an expert on Islamic sexual mores of the era but Christian ones were heavily on the side of ‘unsanctioned sex is bad, sanctioned (marital) sex is slightly less bad’, and there was no concept of ‘being gay’. An interfaith relationship would be in some ways more of a problem for them than the same-sex one (and in some ways less difficult to navigate than a heterosexual interfaith relationship.) The past is another country.

·        Look just no more fanfics where Yusuf is trying to learn ‘Italian’ in the early twelfth century I am BEGGING you all

[elysianslove]

first of all can i just say congrats on the 500 like i'm so happy for you and you absolutely deserve it (huge bear hug :) ) now i had this crazy hcs idea and i immediately thought of you so long story short how would Karasuno , Aoba Johsai and Nekoma react to their sweet manager having powers similar to those of scarlet witch (marvel) or mirajane strauss (fairytail anime) feel free to pick whichever one is easier and thank you so much for indulging my crazy request. love u lots - safiyah <3333

oh my goodness thank you sm for your words here’s a bear hug <3 also also i was literally just thinking just how cool it would be to have like a supernatural au haikyuu thing and then you send me this wow we on some mind reading shit. anyways i really hope you like this. sorry it’s like hq on crack if you want a serious one lemme know hsjkhsk

karasuno high

they lose their shit. 

every single one of them. 

mentally they’re all like 12 (except daichi and mqybe ennoshita) so i definitely think they’d have a very childish reaction to it. 

it’s so endearing though. 

they find out while walking you home one night: it’s very stormy and they just wanted to make sure you get home safe because they worship the ground you walk on. cue like a fucking billboard nearly falling on you and the group of boys and your instincts just kick in and you stop it mid air. 

noya’s still screaming even after everyone’s just gone silent and is gawking at the fact a billboard (or whatever the object is i can’t think rip) is hovering above them. in mid air. because of you. what the fuck? 

daichi’s blood pressure drops he’s like somebody catch me im about to faint wtf is going on. 

you kinda freak and just toss it away and run your way back home, as far away from the boys as possible. 

but alas, you’re their manager, and you have duties to fulfill. so you show up to practice the next morning terrified for your life. 

you’re not really sure why you’re so scared and nervous. you just are? it’s a huge part of who you are and it’d be a big bummer if the most important boys in your life didn’t accept it. 

noya greets you with a really big hug

tanaka’s so loud but what’s new <3 

daichi and suga just come up to you and gently ask if you’re okay because you ran off so quick yesterday

they all act super normal during practice but you can tell

you can tell

they want to ask so many questions they’re gonna explode 

after practice, when coach ukai and takeda leave, and it’s just you, kiyoko, and the boys, it’s s o quiet. you would hear a pin drop. 

you just sigh and go “you can ask” 

your poor eardrums </3 

they’re so fascinated by everything you say 

kiyoko’s like “i had a hunch” like how do u have a hunch about something like this anyways what a queen

noya’s like “make me fly” 

and tsukki in the back “drop him on his ass pls” 

they definitely make you do so many things for them with it 

cleaning duty is now on you because hello !! you can move things with your mind !! 

kags doesn’t get it. he’s like. ok? and ? i can set volleyballs perfectly, hinata can jump really high despite his height, she can move things with her mind? so what? 

i love him 

they’re also crazy good at keeping it a secret? 

not hinata tho he slips up so often like thank god the secret isn’t realistic or believable

he’ll be like “oh yeah? well our manager can move things with her mind!” 

and suga just has to usher him away with a pained smile like “yeah she’s so incredible haha” while doing that thing moms do where they squeeze or pinch your shoulder if they’re mad at you in public 

it feels like a weight lifted off your shoulders when they find out because the closer you grew to these boys, the more they felt like family to you.

aoba johsai

my favorite team 

i hc makki as someone that smokes weed. pls don’t try to convince me otherwise. look at him. he’s a pothead <3 

this is going somewhere i swear.

so you’re a 3rd year manager, meaning you’ve been with these boys a while now, specifically the third years of the team, so y’all are pretty close. 

how they find out: it’s like 3am on a weekend, the seijoh 4 and some of the second years. you’d baked a cake with like all of them all at once in the kitchen, so it was now a mess, so you’re attempting to clean it up as fast as you can the way you know best — with your hands and your mind. makki walks in, high as shit, sees this and just. 

“damn must be the weed.” 

you don’t hear him. so. uh oh. 

he was probably sent there by iwa to get water or something, so iwaizumi walks in and just yells so loud “what the fuck!” 

it’s like they’re all summoned by this. they eventually all pile into the kitchen and you’re literally just frozen in fear with pots and pans and utensils and specks of flour hovering by you. and then you maintain eye contact with iwa as you lift one hand and direct the pans into a cupboard and slowly shut it. 

“so it’s not the weed?” 

they honestly. don’t act any different tbh 

it’s like an added feature of yours that they appreciate. 

oikawa asks you to read his mind to test if what happened that night was real and you just lift him up from off his seat. 

“i asked you to read my mind tho hm” 

yeah mind reading is just a regular thing now. they will slyly ask you to read the other team’s minds during a match and you’re like no that’s cheating. but you do. and you subtlety give them advice. like “hm i wonder if that team’s gonna do this specific attack” 

also oikawa asks (read:begs) u to like help them make it through to nationals

you say “will it feel like a true accomplishment if i do?” 

shuts his pretty face up <3 

they also make you like. toss volleyballs to them. but with your mind. multiple of them. they take it as some stupid challenge idk these boys are dumb i love them 

they also love throwing things at. YOU. LIKE WTF? 

like haha dodgeball but it’s a group of 6’0+ athletes against just. you. 

sounds fair 

they also become insanely protective of you after they find out. idk how that clicks w them but. yes. 

especially mattsun and iwa ? like men. relax.

anyways they would abuse the shit out of your powers genuinely but it’s okay it’s out of love <3

nekoma high

they. they’re idiots. all of them. 

kuroo would probably be like but scientifically ! this makes zero sense 

omg kenma would lose his MIND. 

HES A GAMER BRUH 

HED BE OBSESSED W YOU.

but lowkey bc none of that simp shit </3 

ooou okay so you’re at a training camp and they sneak you in with them so you guys can play truth or dare 

bc yk. you’re kids. 

and y’all are going around and you just pick truth and someone asks what’s the biggest secret you’ve ever kept from us and they expect some dirty shit they’re nasty smh 

and then you straight up go “i can move things w my mind” 

and theyre like ok miss stop playin fr 

keep in mind it’s dark as hell in the dormitory and eerily quiet and you shift one of the chairs in there, and it squeaks loudly

yamamoto jumps and looks at you w so much fear in his eyes. “that wasn’t you” 

“bet?” 

and then suddenly all chairs are moving all at once and yamamato deadass screams 

kuroo’s shrugging like. “it’s just the wind,” like ur not in a closed off room w all the windows shut whatever u say sir <3 

lev’s like

gone into shock. seriously someone go get him water or something. 

when morning comes they’re all like hella scared to approach you except kenma and kuroo bc kenma— is in awe. kuroo — does not believe it. 

you’re kinda :( that they’re scared of you and you approach them after the day is over and just apologize, and tell them you didn’t mean to scare them and that you’d never hurt them or even consider it. 

they do a 180 bruh they just all go “awwwwww” and suffocate you in a group hug so you shove them all off for good measure lmao 

kuroo still doesn’t believe it until you save his ass in broad daylight and he’s like ok maybe it wasn’t fake so what sue me 

whenever there are training camps where other schools come they beg u to help them prank the boys 

especially bokuto and hinata 

and you do obviously 

it’s hilarious watching them scream as something moves slightly. you never do it that it’s suspicious just enough to be like did that happen or is my mind messing w me rn 

scarlet witch also has the ability to mess w people’s mind in the literal sense and whenever one of the boys pisses you off particularly you just make them see their biggest fear 

kenma asks you to reenact some of his favorite gameplays for him

it’s literally just roleplay and you couldn’t care less someone catches the two of you you’re no pussy you can admit when you’re having fun 

overall a very chaotic reaction 

they don’t treat you any different they’re just like 100x more hyped about who you are. like the fact that you’re their manager is already a blessing and now this !!! 

incredible <3333

[thejudgingtrash]

Can you explain to me how Rachel was annoying in the series?

Well, I’ll try to keep myself short for this one (lol no, this took an hour to write). Also, let’s not forget that they’re all kids, but I’m basing this off from when I read the series as a fourteen year old because my opinions haven’t changed much (for better or for worse).

I’m not the biggest fan of Rachel. I have to admit that portrayals of her by Simi, Kit, Logan, Apollo and all the others helped to shape her into something cooler than what she had been in my foggy memories but I actually went back to take a look in the books (well, TTC + BOTL so far) to refreshen my mind about events that have happened.

Also, you should browse through @blackjacktheboss's blog as she’s a) hilarious and b) says whatever I say in like a single sentence lol. But your ask is about me and my opinions so here we go:

What I didn’t like about Rachel was that she’s rude and bold (DON’T GET ME WRONG, I love that in female characters!!!), but she doesn’t have Annabeth’s excuse of survival of the fittest (literally running off as a traumatized seven year old) and introducing us into the world of the Riordanverse.

Percy was on his way, had shit to deal with and Rachel pretty much interrupted him from the get-go and thought getting her answers was more important than letting Percy just rush forward. Yes, this is Rachel’s entrance into the series and the net Riordan threw into the sea, to make us little fish adapt to her. But it still didn’t sit right with me, probably because I would never interact that way.

I get why she did that, but it’s the way how she did it that’s just making me go ???

Even if I was seeing weird things, I wouldn’t set out to distract/interrupt someone who is incredibly busy to get my way. Rachel’s dick move seems like a Karen boomer type of thing to pull off, but guess that’s up to you.

If I were her, I’d either film/try to photograph the monsters via phone (if that’s possible) or internet stalk enough to find the other person (note: despite Riordan’s stupid rule of not being able to use phones, demigods still can use computers/the internet, I guess). Percy was national news like a year or two ago in the timeline, so it shouldn’t be that difficult to find more stuff out about him, even in like 2008 or so. Let him have a spot on Perez Hilton's shitty gossip blog, for the OGs reading this.

Annabeth was used as a tool of exposition to introduce us to CHB, the demigod life and how things roll around there. She barged into Percy’s mission as a nuisance first but a necessity second in TLT.

However, in comparison to Rachel, Annabeth was transformed into a fully-fledged protagonist within a span of a chapter or two. Rachel needed another separate book after her first appearance, so we don’t just know Annabeth better, we know that she’s an important constant throughout the story as of Rachel seems… almost random? Is she truly necessary as a character?

This doesn’t come from a shipper perspective, this is coming from a character design perspective and adds to the feeling that the way she has been introduced to me as a reader just seems off.

Yes, BOTL makes sense with her as a reborn Ariadne, but technically Sally could’ve done the job as she’s a clear-sighted mortal as well lol. Then again, Sally is an adult, went to college, had a job, was unfortunately probably working it up with Paul, did the cha cha slide with him and had overall better shit to do.

Then Rachel as the oracle, which is just super weird in general. Wasn’t Apollo himself responsible for issuing prophecies in the OG myths? Or did he both, have the oracle of Delphi as his spokesperson and issue important stuff to Team Olympus? Am I mixing things up? I’m getting sidetracked, my bad.

Either way, this oracle gig might be the only time I’d say Rachel might be important in the future (badum tzz), but Riordan fumbled the bag in the follow ups series so there’s that. Did she even appear in HOO? Can’t remember and also don’t care.

Rachel is used as one out of three choices in regard to his love life that Percy can make. Calypso literally got introduced into BOTL and was admittedly Percy’s biggest what if… But the general gist doesn’t sit right with me. We have three possible routes with Percy and the others:

Rachel: somewhat normality in the mortal realm

Annabeth: the danger and thrill of the demigod life

Calypso: ambrosia and nectar. a hint of immortality

(On one hand, literally why but on the other hand, mad props for Percy who has literally three romantic leads in the same book.) I’d cancel one of them at least out and since Annabeth isn’t going anywhere, I’m taking Rachel. Sally could literally been Percy’s anchor to a normal mortal life as she had intended until it didn’t work out anymore when he became twelve and his monster alerting scent grew stronger.

Calypso and Annabeth would’ve been the perfect opposites where each of them had a strong case. The demigod life within the realms or mortal or the demigod life ascending to Olympus/immortality. Sounds cooler and is way simpler. Three people is way too much, this truly feels like a shonen anime harem thing and it’s defo not my cup of tea (and while some Annabeth sideships aren’t my thing (Lukabeth go cry in the corner, no one likes you, WTF, Connabeth you fugly), it’s super unfair that Annabeth solely has Percy (fuck off Luke) to rely on in regards of romantic endeavors).

Rachel almost feels redundant? The option to walk away from all of that… which isn’t really true as Rachel really tries to push and insert herself into the story the very first time we meet her? But that’s just me, I’m certain that others are saying they’d kill off Annabeth or kick Calypso (I mean yeah) into the curb.

Big ALSO:

Why does Percy need another white and uber-rich love interest?

I semi-joked on Dez’ post (@sawasawako) with this response about Annabeth needing to keep up with powerful Rachel, but the core still stands.

We already have an affluent Annabeth (granted, we don’t know exactly how the Chase’s riches are divided, whereas it’s clear that Rachel can just make anyone drop dead by saying who she is. Annabeth needed that weird lotus casino credit card to make that happen, so Miss Harvard Legacy doesn’t wield that Dare schmoney. Also don’t think Annabeth can just up papa’s money and go…? Idk).

Why do we need another person needing to upstage this?

Like Rachel has to triumph in regards to standard and prestige as if it were a badly written Jane Austen AU. For what reason…? Why not make Percy friends and acquaintances with someone who comes from a normal household for once, not super rich brats (Piper, Annabeth, Rachel, technically the Graces with their TV starlet mother amongst others).

Moreover…

Important question: why should Percy actually be impressed/attracted to that? He’s dirt poor and has been sent to (boarding) schools filled with stupid rich people since he’s been twelve, probably even younger than that. As if that’s the very first thing Percy would look out for or be wowed or something. He’s used to rich douchebags. I think he’s more surprised that someone used their money for his benefit for once and not to crash daddy’s new Mercedes again.

Like seriously… Rachel did that weird art project thing in BOTL with her covered in gold and posing like it’s a super normal thing to do? Even for rich snobbish kids standards? That sounds weird to me. I don’t know, maybe Riordan’s been streaming the new Gossip Girl reboot on HBO Max on repeat and thought this girl is on fiyah (performed by Alicia Keys).

Rachel trying to separate herself from her money just comes off as super hypocritical when she’s using the very same funds to finance her lifestyle. I get it, trying to make amends and make a difference with the damage you have done but... your father still doesn't give a shit about the environment or YOU, sweetie. Kick him in the balls for once! Then you can go out about your art projects.

The concept of Percy having friends in the mortal realm is cool, but why does Rachel almost have to compete with Annabeth with her wealth and art stuff?

No seriously, the comparisons are constantly there, out and about. Roaming freely on the finest grass, needing to be feed delicious locally sourced carrots and stuff.

Annabeth is Athena’s kid. Athena is the goddess of wisdom, weaving, justice, warfare yada yada and arts and crafts. So definitely something which would affect Rachel, right (someone write that Athena messing with Rachel because she can AU and tag me please!)?

Annabeth wants to become an architect which translates to fancy building designer who is driving engineers like Leonardo Eugenio Valdez Cortes insane irl because the maths and physics don't work like that in the working field trust me I'm an engineer, which could/should be considered an art form.

They even shared some common ground while talking about architecture and design in BOTL!

Furthermore, they both share broken homes with absent parents (granted that all demigods go through that). Wealthy families at that as well. Shitty fathers that don’t care about their daughters well-being. Rachel however, is super powerful and influential in an unseen level in the mortal world. She isn’t like Matt Sloan (?) who truly messes up by destroying shit to get his father's attention, but she’s still in that circle and can easily demonstrate that. Making deals with her father and what not. We rarely see Annabeth doing that. Did y’all forget the fucking helicopter Rachel brought along in TLO?

Pan saying Rachel is just as important as her father has multiple meanings to me…

(Sidenote: I do think it’s hilarious that Annabeth is jealous/annoyed of Rachel that her remarks were she’s cute right and Percy went??? Or when Tyson said Rachel’s pretty? Or that time when Annabeth actually defended Luke and his weird behavior (because Kronos was slowly taking over, don’t forget that kids!), because f that rich artist nepotism kid that Rachel seems to be, right?)

Another note: Percy thinks Rachel is annoying in BOTL for a while and it took a while for him to admit that and he spent way more time being annoyed/jealous (for once, Lordy) at Luke for him to even notice lol.

I guess it’s really hard for me to exactly pinpoint what’s bothering me. I believe Rachel's persona just doesn’t seem to hit right, because it feels like a knock-off Annabeth who just simply isn’t a demigod, yet has two cool powers, but in even richer who still needs to be part of the story for exactly what reason?

The jumping around from the richest in the series to the poorest in the series is kinda bothering me as if the middle class doesn’t exist, like I’ve stated earlier. Why didn’t Riordan mix it up with Rachel, giving her more nuance the minute they met, not towards the end? Have her be Percy’s platonic friend from the get go. No weird oh wait she is kinda cute in the middle bullshit.

This kinda drifted more into a Perachel vs Percabeth essay, which really wasn’t my intention. Don’t worry kids, I’m criticizing Annabeth (and her stans) enough already.

And I do think that others in the fandom have softened my views on Rachel as a person like I’ve stated in the beginning. So friendship!Perachel is popping! But I do think that there are some valid points that I’ve made.

Also not gonna lie, Rachel issuing the new prophecy in TLO kinda dampened the end of PJO series but that’s more Riordan’s fault than hers.

TLDR: I’m just not a huge fan of this overbearing, uber-rich, excessively flaunting being that Rachel sometimes displays. She’s flawed, she’s broken at times, has a semi-interesting background story (although it has been done over and over again throughout the series and should be changed up for once) which is great, but it is still annoying.

We don’t need an anti-Annabeth who feels like a weird caricature of the real Annabeth.

Also if this seems super incoherent, repetitive, or whatever, I'm sorry, massive headaches + mental health going down the goo lagoon does this to ya, I hope I made somewhat sense!

[sarpazoa]

absolutely weird as fuck experience in lab today (3rd day of class, 2nd day where we’re actually doing a reaction. don’t know anyone except my friend, and no one has really talked to each other.) where some completely random fucker started talking to me or rather at me in an overfamiliar joking manner and attempting to start conversation with me on multiple occasions like who the actual fuck are you. bitch tried to correct me while i was doing something like first of all gtf back to your own fumehood why in the hell are you watching me set up my reaction kys i was like “i know. i don’t need you to tell me (🖕🏽)” and he was like “oh my bad” like what in the fuck… i didn’t attempt to look at or talk to him even once i have no idea who he is my friend was like is he flirting with you lol and like based on everything he probably was ??? but like genuinely this is incomprehensible to me… first of all i dress shitty but most importantly gay and very plain and also i think people might read me as wlw and i literally wear a big tshirt and regular fitted jeans and sneakers every day like a 2010s college guy or just a low-effort dad and also like i literally just mind my own business i don’t even talk and there hasn’t even been an opportunity for people in that class to even know what i’m like. so why is this bitch triggering my dysphoria by apparently hitting on me in the worst fucking way thinking i’m a girl all while not even knowing who the fuck i am 🙄… holy shit fuck off… and tbh i’m not like a conventionally attractive feminine woman so i’ve never even been the subject of male attention like this im sorry women hat and it’s really quite disorientating but mostly like. why. i literally don’t fit cishets’ tastes for sure and sorry for being chronically online but this dude is like some fuckin normie what in the hell bro i don’t want to be attractive to random cishets i want to be hot only to TRANS GAY PEOPLE and like in all seriousness my looks don’t warrant this attention this isn’t self deprecation it’s just that my curated vibes that you will only be able to sense after being on the same frequency are the most attractive thing about me. so wtf is this guy doing its so uncomfortable like i literally know it’s a fact that it’s impossible to like me unless you’re maybe like 5 years in to knowing me. this is ridiculous how do you flirt w someone without even knowing them and without thinking they’re attractive. i am inexperienced in the ways of modern romance but genuinely what is the fucking objective. i need to start dressing way more masc (im gonna wear a mars symbol like kurapika in that one illustration) because this is grossing me out