#seriously though this scene has been in my mind since almost just after S4

[pizzaqueen]

I've had this scene in my mind of Eddie encountering Steve’s dad at the hospital post S4 for a while but I didn't know what to do with it. I've written it up, anyway, and I'm posting it here instead of letting it languish. Maybe I'll do something else with it one day?

Just over 800 words, warnings for being in the hospital, I guess and maybe being a little angsty

The first time Eddie meets Steve’s dad, it’s at the hospital, after everything. He’s seen Steve’s dad before, of course he has, everyone knows the Harringtons. But it's always been from a distance, and Mr. Harrington has always seemed arrogant and out of touch.

Eddie waits until Wayne is asleep in the chair beside his bed to get up. Between the shit he's hooked up to and the tightly bandaged wounds, it's not easy, but he needs to do this.

He pulls back the edge of the curtain dividing his bed from Steve’s, then pauses. Steve is lying there, dark circles under his eyes, unconscious and pale and looking less like one of the heroes from Eddie's stories and more like a boy who's seen too many awful things, given too much of himself to them.

Guilt wells up beneath the cotton wool feeling of the painkillers that have been pumped into him. It’s not because it’s Eddie’s fault, but Eddie’s here, on his feet, and Steve isn’t. He will be, though. He has to be.

There’s a vague memory playing in Eddie's mind of Steve carrying him out of that fucking place, Steve's breathing labored, his arms strong but trembling. He'd barely made it out of there before he'd collapsed to the ground with Eddie still in his arms. Everything goes kind of dark after that.

Eddie’s about to step forward, say something—thank you, would be a start—even if Steve can’t hear him, but then he notices that Steve isn’t alone. There’s a man sitting by his side, in the twin of the crappy plastic chair Eddie’s uncle is hunched over in on Eddie’s side of the curtain. He’s wearing a gray sweater and he’s got a sweep of dark hair that looks like he’s been running his hands through it and his nose is the same sharp line as Steve’s.

"Jesus Christ, Steve," he says, voice small and broken, "what the hell did you get yourself into?" His hand rests by Steve’s on the stark white hospital sheet, his pinkie finger hooked over Steve’s.

Steve’s breathing is deep and steady and Mr. Harrington chews on his lip, watching Steve so intently he doesn’t seem to have noticed Eddie standing at the corner of Steve’s bed.

After a few minutes, Mr. Harrington sucks in a deep, shuddering breath and says, "C'mon, slugger, you gotta wake up before your mom gets back from terrorizing the doctors, okay? You know how much she worries…” He trails off, looks away, puts his head in his hands.

And Eddie knows he shouldn't be watching this, but he's frozen. If he ever spared a thought for Mr. Harrington, it was just to think of him as some rich asshole Eddie didn't give a shit about. He has no idea if he's a good dad or even a good person but, right now, Eddie feels bad for him. It makes him miss his own dad and then he feels guilty about that, too. Wayne is right there, sleeping by Eddie's bed because he didn't want to leave him alone and he's a better dad than Eddie's father ever was.

Mr. Harrington makes a small frustrated noise and Eddie finally comes back to himself. He goes to turn away, but, as he does, his foot catches on something and the sound is small but it's loud in the hush of the hospital room.

Steve’s dad looks over, brow furrowing.

“Sorry,” Eddie says, “I wanted to… Sorry.” He shakes his head, which makes it spin. Or maybe it’s the whole room that’s spinning. “I’m Eddie,” he says, and he doesn’t know why. “Munson.”

“The boy wanted for murder?”

“No, I��� I hope not.” Eddie breathes out and it feels harder than it should be. “That wasn’t… I didn’t…” His legs feel weak and he should just turn around and go back to bed but he keeps talking: “Steve, he— Saved me.” And it’s only part of what happened and it’s more complicated than that but it’s the truth.

“He—” It looks like Steve’s dad doesn’t know what to do with that and then Eddie’s legs give way and the only thing stopping him from falling is Steve’s hospital bed. “Whoa, hey,” Steve’s dad says, pushing himself to his feet, “you should, um…”

“Dad?” Steve’s voice is croaky and confused. His unfocused gaze slowly moves from his dad to where Eddie’s slumped by his bed. “Eddie? You’re—” He coughs, then winces, and his dad forgets all about Eddie.

“Steve,” is all he says, leaning over his son, hand hovering.

And then there’s a hand at Eddie’s elbow, guiding him away. "C'mon, kiddo," Wayne says, "you shouldn't be up," and he gently helps Eddie up onto the bed.

On the other side of the curtain, there are voices—Steve’s dad, a woman that’s probably Steve’s mom, doctors—but it’s quiet on Eddie’s side. Wayne is there, awake now, watching as Eddie finally lets himself fall asleep again. At least he knows Steve’s awake now. And he’s not alone.

[lovecolibri]

SaL anon here my friend after a very, very long week. This is actually my 3rd attempt at sending you an ask. First, I finally had time and was excited to type up something for the latest episode and then the Buck LI stuff came out and the mood for that was killed. Next I had mostly typed up my salty thoughts only to have my internet go down (yes, I whined at home "what i was going to read??!!" and pointedly ignored my very much filled bookcase because my ships aren't in them). So here let's see if this one works out.

So how is it KR and the promo dept always manage to kill any joy we have when we get fed any kind of Buddie content (the follow-up to the Eddie getting shot, and the 5b and premier come to mind here)?? Seriously Buck and Eddie more or less went on a date and had family night together and almost immediately they came back with "look Buck and Eddie are going to go on dates!!". Its exhausting cause it seems like any time they put out a story that might even be slightly suggestive of them being more than platonic bros they insist on following it up with stories to "prove" they are, no matter how recycled those plots are.

And okay let's take a second here to ask WTF is KR doing with these characters? In 6b alone we've had Buck dying, a coma dream, PTSD, super powers, and now he's getting a crush, and we STILL haven't finished the accursed sperm donor storyline??!! Bobby and Athena investigated had the death of a beloved friend 🙄 plot, HenRen had the nonsensical Denny secretly seeing his Dad which was never an issue before plot, and Madney and Eddie are just kinda there?? The other characters have had at best one storyline where the audience has to either invent or rewrite the backstory for. But for Buck he's had like 50 plotlines, none of which have really gone anywhere? I love Buck but I'd rather have him have 1 good arc and resolution than whatever this bullshit is. I'd easily take that screentime and give it to any of the other characters if it meant we got 1 well thought out and executed storyline. Instead we're just recycling and redressing old plots for everyone else while KR uses a magnetic poetry set to plan what Buck's doing from episode to episode. We have 5 episodes left in the season, 4-5 guest characters that are going to be incorporated (including 2 much beloathed ones 🙄🙄🙄), and nothing really setup for our mains to do (even Eddie dating isn't setup, it literally hasn't come up after Ana and you'd think they could have in 6a while he was watching his son mature).

Anyway, I'll stop the rant here though there's definitely more I could say. I'll close off saying I hope you're feeling better today since this week looks like its been rough on you. Sending you virtual tea, soup, and hugs!!

Long week is RIGHT my friend! I'm so sorry you were foiled in your previous attempts! I am right there with you on the Buck LI stuff just...sucking a lot of the joy out of things for me. Because of course we're doing this again 🙄🙄🙄 I was even writing up notes on a possible fic and you KNOW I haven't written anything since Malex and even that was before s4 started. But alas. That sucks about the power going out! I hate when that happens especially if I was in the middle of something! (Also I am SO with you. I keep buying books and then just...not reading them because my brain says "it's not our blorbos so no.)

I am just...so tired at this point. Like yes these people *may* not stick around, but even so, I don't want to loose out on Buddie scenes and Buckley-Diaz family scenes! I don't want Buck to have 90% of his time and discussions with some new character I do not know or care about instead of Eddie and the firefam! They already tried to do that with BT and it was the woooooorst! I want Eddie to have screentime and arcs but again, I don't want the little time we DO get to be wasted on some random side character! And lets be honest, there is no person they can introduce at this point that can compare with the relationship Buck and Eddie have already built and the ways in which they are the perfect partners for what each other needs. So the options are to a) cut down on seeing that relationship so their new het ones don't look so shitty and lame in comparison, b) have these women be mostly just Blurry Girlfriends in the background with no personality or depth just to have the boys paired off so they don't have to do Buddie while still centering their relationship so people can't call them out for not committing to Buddie because their "friendship" looks basically the same, or c) give them LIs that are basically the other's personalities transplanted into a female body in order to have the relationship be anything close to what Buck and Eddie need in a life partner. These are all terrible options, and I hate them, more than I hate the idea of them ending up single even though it undercuts their own narrative set up for the characters but that's a cop-out too.

ANYWAY

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 to everything about Buck's 700 shitty arcs this season while everyone else is mostly twiddling their thumbs. KR is literally the worst at pacing and planning, and constructing a season with any kind of flow. On the bright side, Ravi is coming back and Chim is going to get to do something! I'm so excited! I was really hoping for more of him and Bobby teaming up last week because the little crumbs we got were GOLD.

I did have a very emotionally rollercoaster-y week and the show being Like This absolutely Did Not Help, but I am making it work. Mostly with loooots of fic. Cheers friend, lets see if we can make it through the finale intact, if Buddie dreams can make it through the finale intact, and if the SHOW can make it through the finale intact with how these renewal negotiations are going.

[mdverse]

Since you're talking about Rachel. I just have to say it, she's one of the reasons why I sometimes loose intrest of the show.

The show makes us want to empathize to her. She never gets in trouble for her actions, she broke Finn by(if I remember correctly) Rachel slept with Puck because Rachel found out Finn still liked Quinn, Rachel only cared for her, she gets ALMOST ALL the solos in almost every competition, her in NY is so unbelievably more unbearable.

I would've loved to see Tina or Brittany or Santana or Mercedes to take some solos and more covers.

I have to admit, the girl has talent and she could sing. But if you keep hearing her then you start to hate her.

Just my opinion

yeah! listen i was literally thinking earlier about how it's been a while since i've watched glee and i kinda miss it but then that compilation of rachel being shitty just hit me like a truck.

the finn/puck/rachel thing drives me insane omg i saw that scene in the video and just sat there in disbelief bc i had erased it from my mind. cuz like... rachel cheated on finn with puck after finding out that finn had slept with santana (even though they weren't dating when finn and santana slept together) and she straight up tells him to his face that she "wanted to hurt him just as much as he hurt her"??? seriously what in the fuck?? and then he broke up with her and she immediately went "you said you'd never leave/break up w me" like she didn't just admit to cheating specifically to hurt him? then a few episodes later she tells him that he should've forgiven her by now? the fact that finn did eventually get back tgt with her makes me mad, bc they really weren't a great couple. and idk she treated all of friends and bfs badly and then played the victim when they actually confronted her about it.

i do think she showed some growth in NY though. to me parts of s4 and s5 rachel had some sweet moments with kurt, santana, etc, but the growth never really lasted. it was always a 2 steps forward, 10 steps back situation with her, and that's frustrating because i feel like she could've had a really interesting arc and she just didn't. maybe i'm being a little bit harsh but overall i just find her exhausting to watch.

and you're absolutely right - i would've loved to see the other glee girls sing more. the fact that only one (1!!!) of tina's solos was a performance people took seriously makes me so angry (but that's a whole other post) and just in general i also got tired of hearing rachel's voice. i think the other girls (mercedes, tina and santana in particular) had a larger range when it came to songs they could sing - for rachel everything sounded kinda similar.

[criminalmutantsins]

Top 10 Favorite Young Justice Characters

10. Jaime Reyes/Blue Beetle

Starting off the list is Blue Beetle. Young Justice introduced me to him, and I was hooked. He’s probably the most mellow and calming voice. His arc and relationship with Bart (friendship or not) were my favorite aspects of S2. They bounced off each other in every scene. I was very disappointed when Jaime and Bart were sidelined so much, and hope S4 changes this (particularly with Bart).

Jaime in the number 10 spot since he doesn’t really have much of a memorable personality. Still love him to bits though.

        9. Will Harper/Red Arrow

Funny enough, I did not like Will. He was an asshole in S1; S2 kind of changed my mind about him but not enough since he didn’t appear as much. What really changed my mind was the episode “Private Security” (S3 Ep.4). I started looking back into Will’s storylines and, I have to admit, his is probably one of the best character development.

The first season had him unwillingly living a lie and betraying the people he cared for. In season 2 he was so consumed into finding the original Roy for five years, not even caring or focusing about his own life. I felt really bad for Will because he was probably going through an identity crisis and thought he couldn’t live his life without finding Arsenal. Probably felt guilty.

Seeing him living his own life and being happy with his daughter was so heartwarming. I smiled every time Will appeared in the latest season (totally ignoring the Will x Artemis fiasco), especially with Lian. I’m very proud of him.

I feel bad for putting him so low, yet I adore the next characters more.

 8. Garfield Logan/Beast Boy

I have been a massive Beast Boy fan since Teen Titans so you probably can imagine how excited to see him. His origin story was unique and his brother-sister bond with M’gann was very sweet. It was pretty weird seeing how much younger Gar was than Dick, but I got used to it. I was bummed that Gar wasn’t in S2 as much; however, S3 truly made up for it. 

After watching Beast Boy being a great leader in S5 of Teen Titans, I wanted a leader-like and more mature version of him. Young Justice truly delivered with Gar being the leader of the Outsiders. It’s nice to see him treated with respect rather than as a joke because that was my biggest gripe with Teen Titans. Though it was weird seeing him not crack a joke at all.

Gar’s story with his mom was heartbreaking to see. I literally cried seeing his reaction to revisiting his trauma in S2 and S3; I just wanted to hug and tell him how awesome he is. My only complaint with Gar in S3 was that the Outsiders weren’t established until near the end of the season.

His voice actor being Greg Cipes also gives him extra points (He’s a chill guy and radiates BB energy).

 7. Dick Grayson/Nightwing/ Robin I 

Sorry to all the hardcore Nightwing fans.

I love Dick (don’t get any ideas), but he doesn’t get enough development in the spotlight. One of the things I really wanted to see from him is his growth as a main leader, and his journey to becoming Nightwing. I was really bummed when these happened between the first two seasons.

To be honest, I don’t have as much to say about him other than straightforward qualities I enjoy about him.

1.His Voice (it’s so soothing)

2.His Personality (very charismatic)

3.Very Handsome (Probably in the top 3 my most handsome YJ Men list)

I put him higher than the others since he made a lot of contribution to the story and his new words (gotta love that aster!)

6. Megan Morse/M’gann M’orzz/Miss Martian 

If I made this list during S1, M’gann would have probably been in my top 3 (maybe even No. 1), but S2 didn’t give her any brownie points.

I really liked S1 Miss Martian because of her kind heart, awkward girl next door personality. Her trouble fitting in the beginning reminded me of when I was going through a time in high school; seeing her having trouble as well helped me feel not so lonely. M’gann powers were (still are) my favorite since I am a big fan of mind-like powers. I would feel so powerful. Watching her identity crisis(?) arc was great too. I’ve had trouble feeling comfortable in my own skin as well as my social anxiety (I’m a mess) and I could understand how scared Megan was of her friends’ thoughts on her true form. 

Oh boy. Season 2 basically ruined her. Learning what she would do to enemies was terrifying to see and left me wondering what happened to Miss Martian that made her step this far. What she almost did to Superboy was almost unforgivable. You do not try to manipulate with your boyfriend’s mind when you guys have an argument! Shame on you M’gann. If Superboy hadn’t forgiven you then I wouldn’t have either.

Good thing S3 somewhat redeemed her. Her kind heart was noticeable again and she refused to do that mind trick again (thank god). Very excited for the Superboy and Miss Martian wedding! Please creators, I beg of you to not skip over it. I want to cry my eyes out in happiness!

 5. Kaldur’ahm/Aquaman/Aqualad 

Now we’re in the top 5 with Aqualad (*ahem* Aquaman) starting it off.

Creating Kaldur was the best decision the creators ever did. I love him with all my heart!

He added diversity to the original team and was a great leader. S1 was not his breakout season, though the second season definitely was.

Kladur played the villain so well that he deserves an automatic Oscar. I never doubted that he was with the heroes, but he didn’t disappoint. My favorite part about Aqualad’s performance was when he rose from the ocean slowly like a cliché villain (he made it work), and the line he said right after he “killed” Artemis; it sent me chills. Love it! 

Pretty disappointed that he didn’t appear as much in S3. Very happy that he is a part of the LGBTQ+ community and is in a happy relationship. I’m a part of the community and loved that there was finally some representation in one of my favorite shows. Even so, I have to criticize how rushed and sidelined it was. I hope Kaldur and Wyynde’s relationship gets development.

 4. Kon-El/Conner Kent/Superboy

Like Will, I did not like Superboy at first. Mainly angry and volatile characters were never really my cup of tea. I do understand why he was upset and felt bad for him; I just handle anger the direct opposite as him. My love for Conner started growing around the end of S1. He was very sweet towards Miss Martian (bless him for not caring about her appearance) and his anger was in control.

Season 2 pretty much switched my opinions on him and M’gann. It was awful what M’gann almost did to him. That scene with him being so sad that what she did ruined that special bond they had almost made me cry. I wanted to give him a hug. He grew so much too since I don’t think he would have handled the whole M’gann drama as well in S1. A lot of furniture would’ve been broken.

I gotta admit something. I almost put Conner near the bottom (maybe no. 7). A comment in a poll in Amino changed my mind. I wrote a poll asking other fans who did they prefer SB or MM. At that point I said SB, though I didn’t think much of it. Someone (specifically yjfangirl) responded “Superboy has the best development in the show.” This had me thinking about how far SB has gone. In the beginning, Conner was an angry guy who felt alone and rejected by the person who he was meant to emulate. Now he is happier and living for himself rather than to be the next Superman. He’s getting married people! A little detail I noticed when rewatching S3 was Superboy mentioning to new characters that they weren’t obligated to be a hero because of their abilities. I adored this! The main reason why Superboy was created to be Superman if the original ever died, and another one of Luthor’s puppets. But he strayed from that pressuring path and is doing his own thing. Conner doesn’t want other people to feel like he did. What an absolute pure soul.

Also, yjfangirl, first I want to say Hi (*waves*)! Then say thanks for writing that comment. It made me really think about the bigger picture with SB and my love for him as grown exponentially. You probably didn’t mean to do that, but I still want to thank you. 😊

 3.Wally West/Kid Flash

We’re in the elites now.

I don’t know how to explain it, I just love Wally. He makes me laugh, and his character growth was great. At first, Wally was this cocky flirt who didn’t take the hero work as seriously. That changed in “Cold-hearted,” one of my favorite episodes in the series. This was when I really started seeing more of Wally than being this dumb flirt. It was great seeing him actually caring about helping people since I believed for a long time that he wanted to be a superhero to just have powers rather than actually protect others. The regret in his eyes when he thought his impulsive behavior killed Perdita helped me see who he really was- this somewhat arrogant speedster who had a kind heart. Episodes that can make me change my perspective on characters are truly special.

I was very upset that he wasn’t in S2 a lot. I understand why since he gave up the life, but I was still bummed. Seeing him being so loving and protective towards Artemis was amazing. Spitfire is my favorite ship and I will not give up on them. All I want is a happy ending! The penultimate episode of S3 was a hint that it will happen. Watching the S2 finale was heartbreaking, I cried watching him disappear, his love for Artemis being the last things he said. Artemis’ reaction did not(I just wanted to hug her). 

I have more to say, though I’m leaving it for another post. 😉

 2.Bart Allen/Kid Flash II/Impulse

Picking between Bart and Wally for second place was tough. Took me a while to decide; I’ll talk about it later on.

The moment Bart made his appearance, I absolutely adored him. He is amazing and I live for his hyper, fun attitude. His arc and relationship with Jaime were my favorite aspects of S2. What can I say, their chemistry is great to see.

That scene when he was meeting the Flash family was so adorable. His excitement was infectious and spoiling his dad and aunt’s births was hilarious! I watch it occasionally whenever I need a good laugh or reason to smile.

Unlike most time travelers- at least the ones I’ve seen- Bart was very involved with what was going on and befriended his biggest enemy- evil and weirdly huge future Blue Beetle. He was pretty careful about disclosing very important information and took things very seriously. You never know if disclosing everything was the thing that brought the world to chaos.

What I found interesting was his choice on how to interact with everyone. He seemed pretty gloomy in the future, but decided to portray this cheerful, devil-may-care attitude to be more likable. I understood (still kind of do). I had terrible mental health issues and I pretended to be happy in front of loved ones because I thought they wouldn’t care about me anymore. Bart got some brownie points for that.

I was dissatisfied when his role was greatly reduced. I wanted the creators to go further with Bart by revealing his past and how it affected him. He was pretty much comedy relief. You couldn’t imagine how disappointed I was, especially with it involving my second favorite character. Season 4 better change that.

I know that you shouldn’t assume a character’s sexuality, yet I really hope Bart is gay. There needs to be more clear representation and Bart can be one of them. I’m also a Bluepulse and Bartuado shipper (fine with either one as long as Bart’s bond with each of them stays strong).

Anyway, I mentioned that I would explain why I chose Bart for 2nd place over Wally. It mostly stems from wishful thinking. I really want S4 to have Bart as a main character since I believe the future will be strong plot point in the season. Development could surely happen such as Bart opening up more about what he went through. Let all those feelings go.

I’m going to write an article on my hopes for S4 when a release date is announced. Bart and Wally will most definitely be talked about.

 …..

We are finally near the end!

And my No. 1 favorite character is…

Drumroll please!

…

..

.

1.Artemis Crock/Tigress/Artemis

That’s right people!

Artemis Crock, original member of the Team and daughter of villains!

She is such an inspiration to anyone who wants to go their own past without their parents’ support.

It’s hard to describe how much I love Artemis. She’s brave, strong-willed, and a kind person. It’s crazy how great of a person she is after all the terrible things that happened to her. I look up to her because I don’t have a healthy relationship with my parents (verbal and mental abuse) and there are times I don’t feel strong enough to stand on my own. I want to carry the amount of strength Artemis has as my own.

After all that happened in S2, it was amazing to see Artemis come back to the team and train the new generation. It must have been hard to walk away from a safe, comfortable life for a chaotic, dangerous life. I admire that in everyone, but I hold more respect for Artemis since “the life” “killed” Wally. I wanted to hug her so bad.

She’s also one of the kindest people in the show, the events in S3 being the best example. When Zatanna was crying about her dad, Artemis was there to comfort her. It was so sweet! Roy and her also took in Halo and Terra like they were a part of the family; the archer treated them like the best big sister. That rainstorm scene was heartwarming to the core.

Wouldn’t Artemis be an amazing mother? Lian and her have a strong bond like a mother and daughter; I loved it, and Lian is in good hands with Roy and Artemis. Though Jade deserves a chance to be a mother. Artemis also seemed to enjoy taking care of those kids in that S1 episode. Wally too. You guys know what I’m guys insinuating. 😉

Get ready for some fanfics on that someday.

My favorite Artemis-centered episode was the second to last episode of S3. I was waiting for this episode centering around Artemis missing Wally and learning to move on. It was great yet heartbreaking. Nothing bad happened. That Will and Artemis kiss never happened. Everyone makes a mistake. No matter how terrible it was.

Anyway, seeing Artemis and Wally living their lives and having a baby gave me life, even if it was fake. It was a vision of the future. I will believe this until there is confirmation that Wally will not come back.

Did anyone else cry when Artemis was so desperate to, but Wally wouldn’t let that happen (the real Wally would do that)? They are a great example of a healthy relationship with all the love and support they have for each other. I want that.

[landonkirbyappreciation]

Hi so I'm back with more thoughts/theories about Landon Kirby.

So this kinda bugged me a little bit idk if it bugged anyone else or not. But you know how we got a tiny bit of a backstory for Finch and a whole backstory for Cleo. Yet we still don't know anything about any other character in show(excluding Hope and the twins). We don't know how Jeb actived his wolf side. We don't know how Kaleb and MG became vampires. I mean they teased us about finding out how Kaleb became a vampire. But what bugged me a bit is the fact that we know more about Cleos past(a character who just showed up) than we do about Landons past(a main character who's been there since s1). The only things we know about his past is that he was in terrible foster homes and we only know two things that happened to him, that he was locked in a closet, probably more than once. And that he was burned with cigarettes. And that he was bullied. Other than that we know nothing about his past. We don't know where he was born, hell we don't even know when his birthday is. We don't know how he got his last name. Was it the last name of whoever found him? Was it just a random last name the government pick for him? We don't know how he got into music and sy/fy etc. I mean we're almost on s4 and still don't know anything about Landons past. And I think now would be the perfect time to give us more info on his past.

Which lead me to this theory/wish they'll do something like this. So you know how in s4 of TO when Hayley went into Elijahs mind. I'm think(and wish) they'll do something like that with Hope and Landon. Like Hope does a head dive into Landons mind to make sure he's still in there or maybe to see if he's in pain or something like that. Anyways she goes into his mind and she ends up in hallway filled with doors. Each door leads to a different memory. And that's how we'll learn more about his past and we can also see what Landon went through in s3.

But I also thought it would be fun if they did a twist on that. Like when Hope dives into Landons mind, she also ends up in malivores as well. Like one side of the hallway is Landons memories and the other side is malivores memories. So not only will we be learning more about Landon, we can also learn a little bit more about malivore as well.

Any thoughts???

Hi! Yeah, that bugs me as well. Like it’s great that we got to learn about Finch’s and Cleo’s backstories and see flashbacks of them, but why on earth have they not done anything for the rest of the characters??

Exactly, Finch and Cleo just got here and yet we know more about their pasts than we do about the main male characters after 3 seasons! They’ve had that long to show their backstories, so many opportunities, and they’ve done nothing. To the point that if they get into it now, at least with MG and Kaleb and Jed, it’s gonna be awkward because why did it take so long to find out? Although yeah, they did tease about it this last season, but still didn’t do anything. They literally had perfect opportunities too. Ethan and MG were talking about vampire stuff, and I seriously thought we were about to finally have MG explain how he became a vampire, and then they cut off the scene. It’s like a joke at this point. Same with Kaleb saying whatever vague thing he said (can’t exactly remember) about whoever turned him. Again, perfect opportunity to explain that, but no. And Jed is just there, with even less of a storyline than MG and Kaleb, despite also being a main, and of course we still know nothing about his past either or who he killed and how he triggered his werewolf curse. And so true, we still barely know anything about Landon’s past, just the basics, as well as Raf (I know he’s not on the show anymore, but still). All they’ve done for them is mention some stuff, just general ideas about how they were treated and abused. We got like a 5 second flashback of Landon in a closet, and we briefly saw Raf having that dream about his abusive foster parent. That’s it. And yet we didn’t have to wait long at all for an episode focusing on Finch’s backstory and another episode focusing on Cleo’s backstory, flashbacks included. I just... why?? I really don’t understand. I feel like season 1 should’ve been more about exploring and developing the characters and their backstories when they were first being introduced. But they got into all the monsters and the Malivore plotline so quickly and that became the priority, and it still is after all this time. They’ll put more effort into a monster that’ll be dead by the end of an episode than they have with characters that have been here for years. And that’s one of the reasons why the writing feels so weak at times imo.

And sorry to go off about that, but anyways, yes, there’s seriously so much about Landon we still don’t know! I wanna know the details of what his life was like growing up, and the extent of the abuse he went through because they’ve never gone into that much, like you said, besides him being locked in closets and burned with cigarettes. But ugh, yeah they can’t even tell us his birthday or where he was born. That was one of the questions Hope asked him in 1x05 and we still never found out, not even in the episode with Seylah. And I’ve wondered about his last name as well, though I’m guessing it was just random, but I still wanna know. And yes! I’ve thought about those things too! How did Landon get into all the movies and things that he loves while in foster care? How did he learn to play the guitar? And ikr! Like he’s the male lead! And we still know hardly anything about his past.

And I completely agree about now being the best time to show more about Landon’s past. They now have the perfect reason to go into his mind and show his memories. Oh yes, that same hallway of doors idea was talked about in a Handon Weekly episode too, and it’s crossed my mind as well, I’d love to see that. I’ve always thought that was such a cool way to show someone’s mind and all the different memories, so if they did that with Landon it would be so good! Though I do wonder if that was more specific to Elijah’s mind. And if Esther creating the red door maybe led to other doors within his mind being created to hold other memories? Idk, but either way, I’d absolutely love something like that with Landon. And for Hope to be going through his different memories, from his childhood, and also seeing what happened to him in the prison world, how he got possessed, what all has been happening since he got possessed, etc. But ooh that’s a cool idea about Hope being able to reach part of Malivore’s mind as well, it would make sense if she could. And yes, it would be a great way to learn more about Malivore, so that would be really interesting. Hopefully they do something like this, because Hope going into Landon’s mind to make sure he’s still there and to see what state he’s in and try to help him would be the obvious next step that she would take. And it would be such a natural way for them to show Landon’s memories, it would all make so much sense for the story at this point. But I can just see them wasting this opportunity tbh. It’s one of the things I’m most worried about in the coming episodes. And what also sucks is that it’s already been done, and we’ve still gotta wait like 2 more months to find out.

[soveryanon]

Reviewing time for MAG182!

- I concur with Martin: the return to the Fearscape was pretty brutal with this episode, although Martin hilariously/bittersweetly provided us listeners with the warm-up he was himself missing:

(MAG182) MARTIN: … Seriously? ARCHIVIST: Yup! MARTIN: Not an hour from an oasis, and we’re already at “sinister hospitals”? ARCHIVIST: It’s the next stop on our journey. MARTIN: Of course it is, and, of course, there’s no chance for a warm-up? [SILENCE] ARCHIVIST: [INCREDULOUS] A… “warm-up”? MARTIN: Yeah, you know. Something a bit more… manageable, a, a chance to get our bearings a bit first. ARCHIVIST: What exactly did you have in mind? MARTIN: I dunno…! You know like a, like a creepy… bus stop, or something?

The little bits of Martin humour helped, in their own ways? I like how Martin was unable to find good convincing examples of not-too-creepy fears (he’s worked at the Institute for at least nine years, and we know that most statements they receive are fake claims, he probably had to deal with a lot of creepypastas!); I dislike how Martin suggested a “creepy bus stop” because the only thing I can think of is “Totoro gone wrong”. Plus, considering Martin “and you know what? If we were all happy that wouldn’t actually be the end of the world!” Blackwood’s knack for dooming things… we might get a creepy bus stop before the end of the series in the worst possible way, or Martin’s last scene taking place at a bus stop.

Martin was right with his trope-savviness, creepy hospital felt overused as a concept… on the paper. And then, surprise-surprise, this episode was still incredibly brutal, viscerally concrete and violent, and had elements which could come for Jon’s and Martin’s throats specifically: I so wonder why Martin (whose mom had health issues, who had to live the six months of s3-s4 timeskip with Jon in a coma) might dislike hospitals! Meanwhile: Jon got to tell the fate of a victim who was born in BOURNEMOUTH (where he grew up), and pseudo-gave birth to something and was then feeling abandoned by the creature-doctors… given how his own mother died from “complications during routine surgery” (MAG081), aouch? These slight echoes were enough for me to feel super uncomfortable for them, personally…

- Nothing new about the fact that Jon is better in the domains rather than inside of the no-Fears oasis, but the reminder still hurts ;;

(MAG181) MARTIN: You’re sure we can’t stay longer? ARCHIVIST: Yes, I–I–I’ve been, hum… Uh, these last few days I–I’ve been… getting weaker. Dizzy spells, vagueness, you’ve seen it. Being cut off from the Eye, i–it’s not good for me. MARTIN: Yeah, but if… [INHALE] If you’re that connected, that… dependent, what happens if we actually, y’know, do manage to– ARCHIVIST: We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. For now, I just need us to be moving on. […] MARTIN: Feeling better? ARCHIVIST: Uh… Yeah. I’m afraid I am…! MARTIN: All right.

(MAG182) ARCHIVIST: [INHALE] Truth be told, I’m actually feeling… pretty great! [PAUSE] Which… isn’t necessarily a good thing, I suppose. MARTIN: Yeah, I know. [SIGH] We stayed in Salesa’s as long as you could. ARCHIVIST: … A bit longer, actually, I was, uh… not really holding it together by the end. MARTIN: Why didn’t you say something? ARCHIVIST: It’s fine, I’m fine. MARTIN: Yeah, now. ARCHIVIST: I just thought… what with Daisy and Basira, and… You needed a break. Some time to process.

I’m glad and proud that Jon admitted that he had actually made them stay longer than he should have, and only precipitated their departure when he couldn’t hold on anymore. Ideally, of course, it would have been better to explain to Martin what was happening as soon as Jon connected the dots; but it’s also absolutely understandable that Jon… wanted to give that fragment of peace to Martin (since Jon was better amongst the Fears, while Martin hated it), and knew perfectly well that Martin wouldn’t have been able to enjoy it and/or would have pushed for them to leave quickly if he had learned that it was taxing on Jon. I’m a bit more anxious, however, over the fact that it still feels like Jon understands a few things about this world and his own condition which he hasn’t shared with Martin yet…

And likewise, it’s good that Martin isn’t bitter about having had to leave, and has his priorities straight (HA.) about himself – that he deserves to feel good, but not at the extent of sacrificing Jon or letting the whole world rot:

(MAG181) ARCHIVIST: I’m sorry, I… It would have been nice to stay. MARTIN: [WISTFULLY] Yeah… I’d almost forgotten what it was like, you know? A bit of peace, eh! ARCHIVIST: I mean, you could have… MARTIN: No, don’t say it, Jon. You know I never would. I–I can’t just “forget” about all the people out here!

(MAG182) ARCHIVIST: Was I wrong? To hold off? [SILENCE] MARTIN: … No. No you weren’t. [SCOFF] Just getting the chance to sleep again was…! [PAUSE] Ah well. Good while it lasted! Come on then. [BAG JOSTLING] “Nightmare hospital” it is…!

Extra-glad for Martin having been able to appreciate the ability to sleep since… he technically could sleep back in the cabin (but it was something bad, to torment him further), while Jon was unable to:

(MAG161) MARTIN: You should get some sleep. [CREAKING SOUND] ARCHIVIST: I… [SIGH] can’t. I–I–I can’t, I–I don’t think I do anymore… “Sleep”. [EXHALE] How long’s it been, now? MARTIN: I don’t know. It’s not like there are days to count anymore. All the clocks have stopped, and… [DISTANT HOWL] ARCHIVIST: Well, I haven’t yet. I get… tired, but it doesn’t feel the same. [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] Probably for the best. Sleep doesn’t look… pleasant. MARTIN: Nnno, it’s… it’s not. ARCHIVIST: I couldn’t wake you.

(MAG162) ARCHIVIST: “The screams may linger on the distant breeze, and your eye may wander beyond the curtains from time to time, but you and the one you love are, it seems… safe. [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] If you had need to eat, no doubt there would be food; if you had need to sleep, no doubt the beds would be welcoming. [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] But you have need of neither; and so you sit in your meagre comfort and belief of security with nothing to do, nothing to distract your mind from the agonies that lie just beyond your window.”

(MAG180) SALESA: The one and only! I must say I have been, uh… [THE ARCHIVIST AND MARTIN COLLAPSE WITH A SMALL SNORE, FAST ASLEEP] [PIANO CEASES] SALESA: [SAD SIGH] [SILENCE BUT FOR CLOCK TICKING IN THE BACKGROUND] ANNABELLE: I did say this might happen. SALESA: You did, you diiid. Well… so much for my big reveal… Shame. Ah, well. We can talk after they’ve slept, I suppose. Urgh! And had a bath. And some food.

(MAG181) SALESA: Come in! Did you sleep well? Have you had something to eat? Annabelle said she’d shown you the pantry? [SALESA CEASES THE MUSIC] ARCHIVIST: [UNCOMFORTABLE] I, er… We… slept. I, I don’t know… H–how long’s it been? SALESA: About seventy-one hours by my clock. How’re you feeling?

It’s even truer for Jon: he was able to sleep back then, and it was the first time… since the beginning of the apocalypse (MAG160). Did he even dream in Upton House? If he was absolutely cut from The Eye, it’s possible that he didn’t witness the Eye nightmare zoo… which would mean this was the first peaceful sleep he had got since season 1 and the first live-statements he had taken.

(I’m still curious about Jon’s victims, though I feel like we’re likely to hear about them once they reach the Panopticon, so I wonder if they noticed a difference?)

- … Jon has been raising a few alarms since Daisy died:

(MAG179) ARCHIVIST: Is it… Is it awful that I wish she’d recognised me? MARTIN: Daisy? ARCHIVIST: Yeah. I mean, she was… We were friends there, sort of, near the end. We went through so much and it just… I wish I could have actually said goodbye. MARTIN: Would it have made you feel any better about any of it? ARCHIVIST: I don’t know. Maybe? It’s hard to know how I feel about… anything these days. [SILENCE] MARTIN: We said our goodbyes to Daisy after the institute. This was just… This was just dealing with all the stuff she left behind. ARCHIVIST: … I suppose.

(MAG180) ARCHIVIST: How are you doing? About… MARTIN: Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I’m… I don’t know. I’m–I’m not sure how to feel; just… pressing on, you know? ARCHIVIST: I do. [SILENCE] MARTIN: Do you think she’ll be okay without us? ARCHIVIST: Oh, she’s made it this far. MARTIN: … Yeah. I just worry. ARCHIVIST: Yeah, me too. But I’m… uh, “keeping an eye on her”, so…

(MAG181) MARTIN: You’re sure we can’t stay longer? ARCHIVIST: Yes, I–I–I’ve been, hum… Uh, these last few days I–I’ve been… getting weaker. Dizzy spells, vagueness, you’ve seen it. Being cut off from the Eye, i–it’s not good for me. MARTIN: Yeah, but if… [INHALE] If you’re that connected, that… dependent, what happens if we actually, y’know, do manage to– ARCHIVIST: We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. For now, I just need us to be moving on.

(MAG182) ARCHIVIST: I just thought… what with Daisy and Basira, and… You needed a break. Some time to process. [BAG JOSTLING] MARTIN: We both did. But apparently I’m the only one who got to. ARCHIVIST: It’s okay. I deal with things differently these days. I just wanted to make sure that you were doing okay.

Reaaaaaaally Jon? Really? He’s been mostly focusing on Martin’s feelings, while not really processing his own, not allowing himself to sort them out. Is he really dealing with them? Jon had been Daisy’s friend (unlike Martin, who had one (1) nice exchange with her during season 4), and had collaborated with Basira during season 2 and more or less cohabited with her (although on patchy terms) during season 4, when Martin was making himself scarce. Amongst them, it’s mostly Jon who would have reason to want to stop and breathe, to think about what he has lost and what he could further lose… and on the contrary, he sounds like someone who keeps going while aware that he’s on limited time, thinking that it’s not even worth it to try to process things because there is nothing long-term for him anymore – unlike Martin, who might have a future…? I wonder if they will talk about the implications they can make out of their stay at Upton House: Jon had it bad, cut from The Eye, while he’s prospering in the apocalypse – would there be a way to cut him definitely from The Eye without killing him? What would happen to him, if they do manage to turn the world back? Is Martin ready to save the world if it means seeing Jon fade and die?

(- I’m a bit *squint* at the fact that the oasis happened right after Martin had it particularly bad, since he wanted Basira to stay with them:

(MAG180) ARCHIVIST: No, obviously. This place is a manifestation of– MARTIN: No. Nope. ARCHIVIST: … I understand. Of course. MARTIN: Sorry, I’ve just… [INHALE] I’ve been hearing altogether too many of your statements lately, and– ARCHIVIST: Yeah, no, no, I– MARTIN: –yeah. ARCHIVIST: I, I get it. MARTIN: Just… a little break. ARCHIVIST: That’s fair enough.

(MAG182) ARCHIVIST: I just thought… what with Daisy and Basira, and… You needed a break. Some time to process. [BAG JOSTLING] MARTIN: We both did. But apparently I’m the only one who got to.

Was there some dream-logic at work, the oasis and the rest happening because Martin needed it? Annabelle had also implied that she was expecting Martin to get into better dispositions (MAG181: “Don’t worry, Martin. We’ll meet again. Hopefully when you’re feeling a little bit more… open-minded…!”), so is part of Jon&Martin’s journey currently conditioned by Martin’s state of mind, rather than Jon’s?)

- Aaaah, they’re back to using (some) spatiotemporal markers:

(MAG182) MARTIN: Not an hour from an oasis, and we’re already at “sinister hospitals”? ARCHIVIST: It’s the next stop on our journey. […] Would it help if I told you we were actually… starting to get a bit closer to London? Well. What was “London”. MARTIN: … Actually yes! That does help a bit. How many more? ARCHIVIST: Depends on, uh… A few, at least.

Well, no way for Martin to know for sure that it had been “an hour”, but I’m surprised that Jon acknowledged that they were getting close-ish to London! And delighted that Martin understands how things work a bit better, and didn’t ask about physical rational distances, but about the amount of domains they would have to go through! He’s learned!

… A bit curious about Jon’s answer: what is it depending on? Is it about the (metaphorical, emotional, dream-logical) nature of their journey? Or is something/someone coming and Jon knows about it? … Or was Jon considering a potential detour through Oxford and Hill Top Road…?

(“A few” means that the Panopticon might be the thing closing Act II, since we have seven episodes left… Whether they reach it during MAG189 or ends up leaving it at this point.)

- What happened to London, exactly? We got a few mentions that things seemed a bit stranger than the succession of wasteland and domains that we’ve witnessed during Jon and Martin’s journey:

(MAG164) ARCHIVIST: At least with Georgie and Melanie, I have a vague sense they’re still alive, i–in London, and, or– Well, what was London.

(MAG165) MARTIN: Fine – by – me, eh! Never really liked merry-go-rounds anyway. ARCHIVIST: No? You… gone on any recently? MARTIN: What? Uh… No, I don’t think so, not since I was a kid. ARCHIVIST: Hm! I actually, uh… There’s one at London Zoo – uh, was one at London Zoo. Big old thing.

(MAG177) BASIRA: I was still in the Institute when everything went to hell outside, so I guess that protected me from the first wave. … Once I saw what’d happened… that we’d… lost… [INHALE] Didn’t feel like there was anything left worth doing, except keeping my promise to Daisy – so I went looking. […] MARTIN: Hm… Kind of? Scotland’s not really a thing anymore. BASIRA: Huh. London’s still there. Sort of. MARTIN: Yeah, that’s where we’re heading. Eventually. He’s been destroying other avatars on the way.

(MAG182) ARCHIVIST: Would it help if I told you we were actually… starting to get a bit closer to London? Well. What was “London”.

Seems like London is a bit recognisable as something which-used-to-be-London, though gone very wrong? Is it because this is the centre of the new world due to the Panopticon? Jon sounds like he knows a bit about it already, I’m reaaally curious to discover the place alongside Martin (and how it will be conveyed through sounds)!

- Ooooh Martin… Stop dooming everything:

(MAG182) MARTIN: Right. [FORTIFYING DEEP BREATH] Right! Let’s get on with it then. [BAG JOSTLING] [FOOTSTEPS AND THE BACKGROUND NOISES GET SLIGHTLY LOUDER] MARTIN: … Okay… could be worse… [THE SOUND OF BLADES, LIKE KNIVES BEING SHARPENED OR UNOILED SCISSORS WORKING] DR DOE: Good! MARTIN: [SHRIEKS] HAHHH! … HMMM, worse! It got worse! Worse, worse! ARCHIVIST: Martin– MARTIN: Ah, much worse…! ARCHIVIST: –be polite. MARTIN: Hah, hah…!

I mean, Martin, you kinda tempted fate here.

I’m snickering so hard about Jon telling him to be polite, since it echoed Martin’s snide remark from last episode:

(MAG181) MARTIN: Uh, I… already had some, thank you, uh! Some of us know how to be polite guests. ARCHIVIST: [SHARPLY] I don’t intend to accept anything offered by Annabelle Cane. MARTIN: [SIGH]

Martin could master the social cues in the no-Fear territory; meanwhile, Jon holds them in the Fearscape.

- So, if we’re still using Smirke’s categories, that was clearly a Stranger domain but I guessed thanks to the familiar elements rather than the statements themselves!

(MAG182) ARCHIVIST: Hello! [THE BLADE SOUNDS ACCOMPANY DR DOE’S MOVEMENTS] DR DOE: A pleasure, yes, hello! I am Doctor Doe, Jane. Welcome into my hospital, Inspector! ARCHIVIST: In… “inspector”? DR DOE: You have come here to over-observe, yes? To inspector? ARCHIVIST: I… hum… I–I suppose so, y–yes. DR DOE: Then follow! Let us tour our wellbeing centre; keep your screams inside, if you want to be polite. ARCHIVIST: R… right.

Dr Doe’s way of speaking reminded me of Nikola; her name was evoking the Anatomy Students (there was a John Doe in the batch described by Dr Elliott, though I think Jon would have commented if Jane was meant to be specially from that one, like with Mustermann); Breekon was there… But by itself, the hospital felt like it also had bits of Spiral, Flesh, Corruption and Web to me? With, as often, the Beholding touch of feeling watched/examined/stared at.

- Jon being identified as an “inspector” surprisingly makes a lot of sense! He’s identified on sight as an agent of The Eye, and he’s having an overview of the domains, how they operate; it makes sense that he would be perceived as someone who is ensuring that other avatars perform adequately for Beholding? We now know that the domains don’t require a ruler to work fine, since eliminating the avatars in charge didn’t change much (MAG174: “The tenement fire is still burning; the mortal garden is growing wild; the carousel i–”), but the avatars/monsters in place didn’t have that knowledge. The fact that Dr Doe was concerned about performing well reminded me of what Arthur and Simon had said of their connection to their patron:

(MAG145) ARTHUR: You’ve never really had to bother with it, have you? You got him upstairs to point the way as often as not, and the rest of the time you’re just figuring out people – or things that used to be people. You never try to talk with that Eye of yours. You never had to second-guess a god. ‘Cause that’s what it comes down to, isn’t it? We feel Its joy and Its… anger; It warps us, and changes us, and feeds on us, though not in the ways we expect. The one thing It never does is just… tell us what to do. It seeds us with this… aching, impossible desire to change the world, to bring It to us. Then, It leaves us to guess and bicker and fight over how the hell you can actually do it. … If it’s possible. Sometimes, I think They understand us as… little as we understand Them. We don’t think like They do.

(MAG151) MARTIN: You make it sound like the… the Entities don’t even know that they’re doing. SIMON: I have no idea if they’re doing anything at all – if they’re even capable of “doing” things. I know that most of their servants are simply doing their best to interpret and serve something that is almost definitively inconceivable. […] MARTIN: So– [EXHALE] So if no one’s ever actually communicated with their patron, how do you know they even want rituals? H–h–how does anyone know if they could ever even work?! SIMON: We don’t. MARTIN: [INCREDULOUS SCOFF] SIMON: And honestly, the idea that this is all some… “grand cosmic joke”, thousands of us running around spreading horror and sabotaging each other pointlessly while these impossible, unknowable things just lurk out there, feeding off the misery we cause… [INHALE] I find that interpretation quite appealing…! MARTIN: … “But”? SIMON: I still hear the music in my dreams.

(MAG182) DR DOE: It is a thing to look at, isn’t it? How much do they suffer, Inspector? ARCHIVIST: I… What? DR DOE: I help to cure them of their wellbeing but… I cannot know if my work is appreciated. I can only guess at fear, you know. Does it work? Do they… [GIGGLE] hurt? ARCHIVIST: Yes. Yes, they hurt. DR DOE: [NOISE OF CONTENTMENT] This pleases me.

And yikes ;; Jon was sincere here (and he was sad about it); Dr Doe’s contented reaction was to be expected but it was still chilling.

- Oh Martin…

(MAG182) MARTIN: [CLEARS THROAT] [NERVOUSLY] It’s a… It’s a beautiful building…! DR DOE: Do not insult me. MARTIN: I, uh… Okay. [LOUDER SCREAM IN THE BACKGROUND] W–what’s it called? DR DOE: Called? MARTIN: The hospital. DR DOE: Ah! St Bleedings Centre for Wellbeing. MARTIN: Riiight… ARCHIVIST: [HUSHED] Martin, keep your eyes forward. On the doctor. MARTIN: [HUSHED] Seriously? She’s all– ARCHIVIST: Better– MARTIN: –kinds of horrible… ARCHIVIST: –than what’s in the rooms. Trust me. MARTIN: Ah. Right. [THE BLADE SOUNDS STOP] [A DOOR IS OPENED] [HIGH-PITCHED METALLIC SOUND, AND WHIMPERS] DR DOE: You must look in here to see one of our four hundred operating theatres, where we ensure any wellbeing is swiftly and awfully dispatched. MARTIN: [HURRIEDLY] Right, right…! DR DOE: Sometimes is an anatomical wellness. Sometimes, the wellbeing they possess is mental. In both cases we have grinding machines and anti-trained doctors on nails to deal with it. Nobody who comes into the hospital leaves right. Or at all! [DOOR IS CLOSED] MARTIN: Oh. Heh! Gooooood… ARCHIVIST: Good lord… […] MARTIN: Any, uh… wards? Beds, maybe? DR DOE: Sometimes rooms. Sometimes we throw them in a pit. MARTIN: A pit, right, yeah… DR DOE: We have a canteen! ARCHIVIST: [HUSHED] Don’t ask about the canteen MARTIN: [HUSHED] I wasn’t going to ask about the canteen!

(Same as the Web theatre, some of those domains really are big ;;)

I’m so grateful for Martin’s constant “FML” reactions in the midst of the horror, he was clearly alleviating the atmosphere a bit – SOB about the idea that they’re organised to clinically prevent any “wellness” and that “being well” has no place in this world. It was also pretty interesting to see the contrast between Martin’s exchanges with Salesa (where he managed to get the answers they wanted, where Salesa was interested in him and paying attention to him) and this situation, where he was lacking the codes (unlike Jon), threatened and pretty much unaccounted for.

(… And I’m glad we didn’t hear about the canteen, but I can’t help but be pretty curious about the canteen now, woops.)

- Aww that Jon tried to put a stop to the visit ;w;

(MAG182) ARCHIVIST: Hum, Dr Doe, thank you so much for the tour. DR DOE: There is more! ARCHIVIST: Uh… Oh… “Good”. MARTIN: … J–Jon. Jon, over there, is–is that, hum…? DR DOE: He is a janitor. You are allowed to ignore him. MARTIN: Right…! ARCHIVIST: [DISCOMFITED SOUNDS] MARTIN: Jon…? J–Jon, do you… Right. Uh, uh, Doctor! Is there an empty room he can use, please? [THE BLADE SOUNDS STOP] DR DOE: What is he doing? MARTIN: He needs to… talk about all the horrible things this place does…! DR DOE: Oh, wonderful! This way.

* First Breekon cameo sneaking in! (And Jon got hit by the statement-saturation, so didn’t answer Martin’s call about it.)

* Martin immediately putting himself in charge of the situation when he noticed Jon wasn’t well! And recognising what is happening! … And he reacted fast and urgently, and that came shortly after Jon had admitted that he had pushed past his limits to make them stay at Upton House: it feels like Martin had understood that Jon actually showing discomfort over something could mean that he had felt it for a while but was trying to hide it to buy time? Since MAG163 and Martin refusing to hear about Jon’s statement, Jon had mentioned multiple times that he was trying to hold off and bottle it up, until he couldn’t anymore; so there, it was good to see Martin actually taking care that Jon got his privacy and could give the “statements” a bit more on his terms…

* Crying a bit that Martin was absolutely honest, too, about Jon giving the statements (“talk[ing] about all the horrible things this place does”), and that once again, Dr Doe’s reaction was predictable, and still yikes.

- Thaaat was quite a gruesome series of statements. What got me the most was the scale (amount of operations, just like with Francis’s acts, the fact they were counted and so… big… and never-ending…) and the mix of personal distress and “labels” of their medical forms?

(MAG182) ARCHIVIST: [INHALE] “Patient: Jeremy W. […] Date and place of last contentment: 8th July 2013, sunrise, on Arthur’s Seat hilltop, Edinburgh. Complaint: Generalised pain and creeping ennui. Surgical procedures thus far: 802. Prognosis: Delightful. […] Patient: Renee T. […] Date and place of last contentment: 27th November 2015, birthday party prior to father’s stroke. Complaint: Facial paralysis. Surgical procedures thus far: 560. Prognosis: Exciting. […] Patient: Kelly M. Date and place of birth: 1st April 1982, Bournemouth Hospital. Date and place of last contentment: Not recalled. Complaint: Headaches. Surgical procedures thus far: 220. Prognosis: Unwise.”

“Date and place of last contentment” as an identifiable piece of data (and the fact that they were waaay anterior to the beginning of the apocalypse, which happened in October 2018), and the different “Prognoses”… Also! The fact that the cities mentioned went from “Edinburgh” to “Bournemouth”: a bit reminiscent of Jon&Martin’s journey from Scotland (or Jonah’s roots: he was initially located in Edinburgh) to the South of England, Jon’s own roots?

From Jeremy’s, I mostly got spooked by the mumbling sounds exchanged between the creatures, the overall feeling of being trapped and objectified, the otherness of the doctors, the awareness that he would almost always make the wrong choice… but not “always”, so preserving the hope of sometimes playing the game right (while the answer provided… never has anything to do with Jeremy’s actual state, is just what could potentially make it hurt less):

(MAG182) ARCHIVIST: “This was it, the moment of truth, the point at which all Jeremy’s anxiety came to a head. They all leaned in, hidden faces focused on him, as though drinking in his desperation. He had to make an answer, a simple yes or no. He’d learned the hard way that nuanced answers or stoic silence only made it worse. So he picked one. A roll of the dice. In many ways it didn’t matter which he chose, as there was no way to determine if the doctor of the day considered his wellness an aim to be achieved, or a condition, that required curing. “Yes,” he might say. “I am well.” And if he had chosen right, the mask would widen as though the face behind it extended in a smile. [HISSES-LIKE SOUNDS] “Wonderful!” would come the response, “keep it up!” And the crowd would file out and lock the door behind them, leaving Jeremy to wait for his next assessment. But he rarely seemed to choose right. The rest of the time a shudder of anticipation would pass through the medical things around him. [HISSES-LIKE SOUNDS] “Well! Let’s see what we can do about treating that,” the doctor would say. [THE BLEEP OF THE MONITOR ACCELERATES] And they would descend upon him, and drag him away for treatment.”

The hisses, like snakes, heard when the words were spoken, were absolutely awful, THANKS. (And the rising anxiety through the bleep accelerating…)

From Renee, the worst for me was the creatures takings bits and pieces of her, the fact that it was not about the pain (“It dulled the pain, but the pain was never the problem. Regardless, they always strapped the anaesthetic mask tight to her face before they began to cut.”), but about being manipulated and used by creatures who didn’t know what they were doing, the otherness and strangeness of what was put into her, the skinning, the biggest fear still being that she has a problem (“[The pills] might have done nothing, been naught but dust and sugar, but she could never be sure. The sickness, the seizures, the spasms, the sadness… If it wasn’t the medicine, then it was inside her. And it had always been inside her. And she just… didn’t know.”), and:

(MAG182) ARCHIVIST: “An organ diagnosis was simple: open her up, dig around inside her until they could remove something that could conceivably be a liver or a pancreas or a gallbladder…?, then put something back in its place.”

THAT HESITATION WITH “GALLBLADDER”…

Kelly put Jon’s mother to my mind, since she was born in Bournemouth, her misadventures evoked a child delivery, and Jon’s mother had died from complications during a surgery. So. Aouch. There might have been a bit of Lonely creeping in that one?

(MAG182) ARCHIVIST: “How long has it been? There is no way to tell, not here, but they will come back. They must come back, they always do, they must swap out this cold and hollow emptiness for some fresh pain an–and torture. She longs to feel the pain, as it is at least a feeling. But the fear has grown inside her now. What if the doctors are finished? What if she is treated, and this is all there is now? What if she is well? Kelly looks to the door, and waits.”

The fact that Kelly ultimately was waiting for her torturers because having to remain like this would be worse than experiencing another operation? Was awful D:

- The post-statement cut very fast for once; we only heard the static rising, indicating the end of the statement… and the tape recorder turned off even before we heard the static fade, or Jon landing back to earth.

The succession of recordings was curious! Because there were two tape recorders involved (Jon’s, and Martin’s): was Martin’s encounter with Breekon happening right after Jon’s statement (implying that Jon took a small break by himself before finding Martin back)? Or did Martin’s recording begin while Jon was still giving the statements, implying that what we’re listening to is definitely a compilation put together after the events?

Jon had reminded us that Martin had a tape recorder with him:

(MAG181) MARTIN: They sort of just … follow us round? SALESA: Hmmmm. Interesting. Did you carry it in? Things shouldn’t be able to manifest in here like that. ARCHIVIST: … You had one in your… bag, I–I think, Martin, did, did you drop it here? MARTIN: Uh… I, I don’t think so…!

And there were many options as to when Martin picked it up: MAG163, when he spotted one in the water(…ish river)? MAG166, when he had taken Annabelle’s call? MAG170, when he was alone in the Lonely house? It’s interesting that the tape recorder chose to turn on when he was alone, near Breekon, as if sensing that there would be an interaction soon (while, except for MAG166, Martin is usually left in his corner while Jon gives his statements…).

- Breeeeeeekoooon!!

(MAG182) [CLICK–] [BACK TO THE GENERAL SOUNDS OF THE HOSPITAL, THIS TIME WITH ACCOMPANIED SCREAMS] [FOOTSTEPS AND MOPPING SOUNDS APPROACH] BREEKON: ‘scuse me, Doctor. Just cleanin’ up. MARTIN: … Oh, I’m, uh, not a doctor, eh! BREEKON: Whatever. I got work to do. [MOPPING SOUNDS]

* Same VA as Dr Elliott, so… he kinda was there in spirit in an episode with what potentially used to be an Anatomy Student (through not necessarily from his batch; it seemed to be a repeat performance).

* So Breekon hadn’t died in/after MAG128! It wasn’t clear, since we had heard Jon hurt him badly, and Jon had mentioned that Breekon wasn’t… going well afterwards:

(MAG128) ARCHIVIST: Stop. [HIGH-PITCHED BUZZING SOUND OVER STATIC] BREEKON: What’re you doing? BASIRA: … Jon…? What are you doing? BREEKON: What’re you– Stop it… Stop it! ARCHIVIST: [ECHOING] No. BREEKON: [STRUGGLING, BUZZING INCREASES] Enough! Stop… looking at me! [SCREAMS] [DOOR SLAMMED OPEN, FLEEING FOOTSTEPS WHILE BREEKON IS STILL SCREAMING, DOOR SLAMMING SHUT] ARCHIVIST: [PANTS] […] “I am without him, now. I. am. I can feel myself fading. Weak. No reason to move. Nothing to deliver.” […] ARCHIVIST: I, I saw that… thing’s mind, i–it’s lost on its own. No partner, no… purpose, I… I honestly think it just wanted to do another delivery.

Jon hadn’t killed him back then, but I had wondered if the experience of being known to the core had been traumatising enough to make him slowly disappear (since Gertrude had also mentioned how avatars tended to wither away after a failed ritual, two episodes afterwards). Impressed that Breekon kept going all this time!

* Oh, Martin… honest in the wrong places… He really didn’t need to point out that he wasn’t a doctor…

- OF COURSE, MARTIN WOULD REMEMBER HOPE’S NAME FIRST…

(MAG182) MARTIN: Hang on… Hang on, are you– Wait, which one are you? H–Hope, or, hum… BREEKON: Breekon. Hope’s dead. Do I know you? MARTIN: Hm! “Hope’s dead”. Bit on the nose, isn’t it? BREEKON: Glad losing half my existence has given you a funny little metaphor. MARTIN: Oh. Well, I mean, eh, that’s not actually a metaphor per se, so…! BREEKON: [WEARY] Piss off. MARTIN: Oh, I’m… sorry, am I, am I supposed to be sympathising? After everything you two did to people? BREEKON: … Guess not

Aouch Martin.

… I feel personally called out because, when MAG128 aired, I immediately revelled in the “Breekon is Hope-less” jokes (AND STILL DO.), listen, if you two steal the name of a man’s company, be ready for the consequences.

… It hurts how technically, both sides were a bit right: Breekon couldn’t expect sympathy from Martin (they did awful things! To so many people! They brought the Not!Them via the table inside of the Institute, and it killed Sasha! They kidnapped Jon! Breekon trapped Daisy into the Coffin!), but it’s true that Martin was absolutely heartless and lacking empathy (twisting the knife in the wound).

- zesidojker about Martin confidentTM that his boyfriend could kick Breekon’s arse:

(MAG182) BREEKON: Who you waiting for? Maybe I can rip them away from you, see how you like it. MARTIN: You’re welcome to try…! BREEKON: Wait… No, I do know you. We gave you a delivery, didn’t we? Years back. You’re one of Magnus’s lot, right? MARTIN: … I was, yes. BREEKON: Wait… So does that mean, in there… The Archivist? MARTIN: That’s right.

* Sob about Martin saying he’s not from Magnus anymore. He really wants to have nothing to do with Jonah anymore, uh. (At first, I feared it was a nod towards his allegiance to The Lonely…)

* A REMINDER!! ABOUT THE DELIVERY!! Back in season 1, Martin had received the Web lighter on Jon’s behalf!

(MAG035) BREEKON: Won’t take up your time. HOPE: Just got a delivery. MARTIN: Look, you really can’t actually– BREEKON: Package for Jonathan Sims. HOPE: Says right here. MARTIN: Well, I don’t really know where he– HOPE: We’ll just leave it with you. BREEKON: Be sure he gets it. MARTIN: Okay, I will, but you really have to actually– BREEKON: ‘course. Much obliged. HOPE: Stay safe. MARTIN: … I’ll… try?

(MAG036) TIM: Oh, ah, nothing urgent, um, it’s just Elias was asking a couple questions about the delivery. ARCHIVIST: Delivery? What delivery? TIM: Ah well, that’s actually what he was asking, huh! Um, apparently Martin, uh, took delivery of a couple of items last week addressed to you. Did he not mention it? ARCHIVIST: No, he… Oh, yes, actually. I completely forgot. He said he put it in my desk draw, hold on. [SOUND OF PACKAGE BEING RETRIEVED AND OPENED] TIM: Er, what is it? ARCHIVIST: A lighter. An old Zippo. TIM: You smoke? ARCHIVIST: No. And I don’t allow ignition sources in my archive! TIM: Okay. Is there anything unusual about it? ARCHIVIST: Not really. Just a sort of spider web design on the front.

(MAG037) MARTIN: Okay, fine. There were two delivery men. They were big, and they spoke with cockney accents that might have been fake, and they delivered a package for you. I don’t remember anything else about what they looked like. ARCHIVIST: Nothing at all? MARTIN: [EXASPERATED] They looked normal. Like you’d expect. They looked like two, huge, cockney delivery men. I don’t know what else you want? ARCHIVIST: What about the table? MARTIN: I didn’t see the table. I guess Rosie must have signed for it. I mean, it’s her office on the way to Artefact Storage, that makes sense.

Well. Presumably received. Martin signed for something, and Jon remembered later that Martin had left the package for him, and Martin confirmed that the item he had received for Jon wasn’t the table (since Rosie took care of that one). A bit “damn!” that we didn’t get any new information about who had sent the lighter, since Breekon would have been the last person to know about it aside from the sender, but… well, we haven’t heard everything about the lighter anyway, so the sender might explain why they had done it at some point. (Annabelle being the ideal culprit, but mmm… I don’t want to exclude that it can’t be something/someone else?)

- Elevator music:

(MAG182) BREEKON: … I’ll wait with you. MARTIN: I… thought you had work to do…! BREEKON: Just spreading the smell around. Doesn’t matter. None of it matters. MARTIN: … Right… [SILENCE BUT FOR HOSPITAL SOUNDS] [DOOR OPENS] ARCHIVIST: Hello again, Breekon. [DOOR CLOSES] BREEKON: Yeah… ARCHIVIST: He hasn’t been bothering you, has he Martin? MARTIN: Well… BREEKON: Nah. Just been chattin’.

* So Jon had probably recognised Breekon already when Dr Doe commented about the “janitor” in the first part of the episode (or Jon already knew Breekon was somewhere in the domain before entering it), given his absence of surprise. And he implied right after that he already knew what was on Breekon’s mind, what he wanted from him…

* … I love that Martin was ready to snitch. You petty thing, Martin, you.

- Breekon joining the long list of avatars/monsters who could just feel or know that Jon was closely tied to this apocalypse:

(MAG164) HELEN: What would I have to gloat about? Much as I am delighted by this brave new world in which we find ourselves, I can take no credit for it. This was all… you!

(MAG165) ARCHIVIST: She’s just like everything else here, rules by The Eye. [CHUCKLING] And she hates it…! NOT!SASHA: Well, of course you want to wallow in my shame like your voyeur master!

(MAG168) ARCHIVIST: “Report to prevent future deaths. This report is being sent to: [STATIC FADES] The Great Eye, that watches all who linger in terror, and gorges itself on the sufferings of those under its unrelenting, stuporous gaze! And its Archive, which draws knowledge of this suffering unto itself.”

(MAG169) JUDE: Fancy seeing you both here. To what, exactly, do I owe the pleasure, the honour, of being graced by the great and powerful Archivist, harbinger of this new world, and his, uh… valet…?

(MAG171) JARED: Mm. … So, is there any way this doesn’t end in me dead? I’m guessing that’s on the docket if you’re here. Unless you’re just here to smell the flowers.

(MAG173) ARCHIVIST: … Do you know who I am? CALLUM: … You’re the Eye guy, right? ARCHIVIST: That’s right. CALLUM: So you’re like… real important.

(MAG174) SIMON: Good to see you again, Martin! And you must be the famous Archivist, Herald of the Ceaseless Watcher, Harbinger of the New Age, etcetera. Lovely to meet you at last. […] I imagine you know pretty much everything by this point. How is it? How does it feel? [SHUFFLING] ARCHIVIST: … Strange. SIMON: Yes! I can imagine. These gifts can feel very disconcerting at times. I’m sure you’ll get used to it eventually.

(MAG182) ARCHIVIST: So you’ve come to me? BREEKON: Didn’t mean to. ARCHIVIST: No, but you have. Because there’s something you want, isn’t there? BREEKON: … Yeah. ARCHIVIST: Say it. BREEKON: … Kill me. MARTIN: Wait, what? BREEKON: The way I figure, you’re the one who made all this. So if anyone can end it, you can. Can you do it?

* Which makes it even more significant that Salesa didn’t know about it “naturally” (Annabelle had told him about Jon’s patron), and that Basira didn’t have that knowledge either. In the same way, Melanie&Georgie might not know about it, unless they’ve been working with someone in the meantime…

* Big “YIKES” about the implications of “you’re the one who made all this. So if anyone can end it, you can.”: Breekon was spot-on on that specific situation involving him, since Jon could end him personally, but on a larger scale… can Jon put an end to all this, personally, since he was used as the lynchpin for this apocalypse?

- Why am I crying again about Breekon, I thought MAG128 had been enough…

(MAG128) BREEKON: Dunno. ‘t’s not right… on my own… not right… No point in doing it on my own. Don’t know what happens now… Thought I might kill you. Missed my chance. Thought I might just… deliver something. So here’s a coffin. [RATTLING SOUND] In case you want… to join your friend. […] ARCHIVIST: “I have never known hate before. I have never known loss. But now, they are with me always, and I desire nothing but to share them with you.”

(MAG182) BREEKON: Glad losing half my existence has given you a funny little metaphor. […] We arrive somewhere, deliver terror and death, then leave, never to be seen again. Not much call for that now everyone’s in their little “kingdoms”. Maybe if we were complete, we could’ve done something, but as is… No. Can’t say I want this to be my forever.

The fact that through Hope’s death, he learned loss… that he felt quite clearly depressed (“Doesn’t matter. None of it matters.”)… His obsession with fracturing pairs:

(MAG128) BREEKON: In here. [KNOCKS ON SOMETHING] Realised that I’m not tied… to it anymore. Not on my own. Thought you could have it. Pay your respects, lik– BASIRA: [BROKEN VOICE] Daisy’s in there? BREEKON: … That’s ‘s name? Then sure. ‘t’s in there. Whatever’s left. Find out if you like. […] ARCHIVIST: “When that Hunter killed him, when she took her violence of mindless instinct and unleashed it on us… it was there. It was waiting. I fed her to it. She took him from me. Made us a me, and she doesn’t get to die for that. She gets to live, trapped, and helpless, and entombed forever. No prey, no hunt, no movement. We failed, but I have at least that comfort. I am without him, now. I. am. I can feel myself fading. Weak. No reason to move. Nothing to deliver. But I am no longer tied to the casket; so you can have it. You can stare at it, knowing how your feral friend suffers, knowing how powerless you are to help. And when you can’t bear it any longer, knowing that you can climb in and join her…”

(MAG182) BREEKON: Who you waiting for? Maybe I can rip them away from you, see how you like it.

His old habit of saying “we” instead of “I” resurfacing again and again:

(MAG128) BREEKON: [HUFF] Yeah. Just like when we… when I… fed the copper to the pit. […] ARCHIVIST: “She took him from me. Made us a me, and she doesn’t get to die for that.”

(MAG182) BREEKON: You think I dream of mopping floors? No. We’re… I’m a delivery man. […] It isn’t great for an anonymous thing like us… [SNIFF] Like me.

The fact that unlike avatars, he had apparently just popped up like this, hadn’t had any choice or options in his “career”, was bound to that nature as a monster… (and that he was unable to reinvent himself after Hope’s death)….

- Elias had pointed out that The Stranger was “antithetical” to Beholding (MAG092), we had seen Jon hurt Breekon when he extracted his statement (MAG128), and it sure looks like Stranger creatures have a harder time than others in the fearscape:

(MAG165) NOT!SASHA: Do you know how it feels? To be… anonymous, and yet known? To have all the sweetest dread I can create tainted by the relentless gaze of that damned Eye! I’ve suffered enough!

(MAG182) BREEKON: Besides, it hurts all the time. The Eye won’t ever stop watching, and… [SIGH] It isn’t great for an anonymous thing like us… [SNIFF] Like me.

Meanwhile: The Dark was given the task of the grooming babysitter, and Jon mentioned that going through the Distortion’s corridor would destroy Helen. There is still some Beholding-favouritism in that new order.

- CRIES about Jon honestly laying the cards on the table:

(MAG182) ARCHIVIST: … Very well. I warn you, though: it will hurt. BREEKON: Only until it doesn’t though, right? [STATIC RISES] ARCHIVIST: Right. MARTIN: Good luck…! BREEKON: Whatever.

… since yeah. It will “hurt”, but unlike everything else in this world, the pain will also stop pretty fast, and depending on people’s opinion and on the hope (or absence thereof) of finding a way of fixing things, it might represent a better option for a lot of people…

(SCREAMING about Martin’s “Good luck!”. Martin, please.)

- Jon’s invocation was a bit more developed and specific this time around:

(MAG165) [STATIC INCREASES] ARCHIVIST: Feel it now. Understand it. You have drawn out so much despair, and now finally, it’s your turn [STATIC INCREASES] [DIGITAL GLITCHING SOUNDS] Ceaseless Watcher, turn your gaze upon this wretched thing! [STATIC INCREASES, WITH MORE PRESSURE] NOT!SASHA: No! No… Please, no…! [DIGITAL BURSTING, RIPPING SOUNDS] NOT!SASHA: [FADING] No…! [STATIC DECREASES AND FADES]

(MAG169) [STATIC RISES] ARCHIVIST: I’d have thought that was a mindset you would appreciate. [STATIC INCREASES] Now, feel it! All the terror and pain you’ve inflicted. JUDE: Oh, piss off– [PAINED GASP] … [STRAINED] Look, look. Wait, right? I’m sorry, okay? I… shouldn’t have burned your hand. […] [STATIC RISES: LOW AND SPIRALLING, PRESSURING] JUDE: Uh! Listen… Listen… [BREATHLESS CHUCKLING] You’re enjoying this, right? ‘Course you are! You want to use those powers of yours to hurt people, you want to murder everybody who can’t fight back at you now? I can help you…! [DIGITAL GLITCHING SOUNDS] MARTIN: Just DIE already!! JUDE: You’re… not… better… than… me! [SCREAMS] [DIGITAL BURSTING, RIPPING SOUNDS] [STATIC DECREASES AND FADES]

(MAG171) [STATIC INCREASES: LOW AND SPIRALLING, PRESSURING] ARCHIVIST: Feel it. JARED: [MEATY HISS] ARCHIVIST: Feel all the terror and despair as your garden grows. Let it flow through you, and blossom! [MEATY SOUNDS] JARED: [GROANS] ARCHIVIST: Just people, using each other up! [DIGITAL GLITCHING SOUNDS] Ceaseless Watcher, turn your gaze upon this thing and drink – your – fill! JARED: [GROANS] [MEATY SOUNDS] [DIGITAL BURSTING, RIPPING SOUNDS] [STATIC DECREASES AND FADES]

(MAG182) [STATIC INCREASES] ARCHIVIST: [INTONING] Ceaseless Watcher, gaze upon this thing. BREEKON: [GRUNTS] [STATIC INCREASES: LOW AND SPIRALLING, PRESSURING] ARCHIVIST: This lost and broken splinter of fear. BREEKON: [PAINED SOUND] [DIGITAL GLITCHING SOUNDS] ARCHIVIST: Take what is left of it as your own, and leave no trace of it behind! BREEKON: [PAINED GRUNTS] ARCHIVIST: It. Is. Yours! [DIGITAL BURSTING, RIPPING SOUNDS] BREEKON: [GRUNTS IN PAIN AND THEN DISCORPORATES IN AGONY] [STATIC DECREASES AND FADES]

With Breekon, it really felt like an offering to Beholding ;;

- Oh, the end of the episode felt so… tired and empty. Jon had done everything he had to (doing a favour to someone “very bad”), and it was basically an assisted suicide; plus, Breekon had been around since the beginning of season 1, he had been recurring (through statements and in person) during the whole Stranger arc and beyond. It felt like a bit of a book ends, although… done in misery and exhaustion. Even Martin was feeling a bit awkward about the whole situation:

(MAG182) [SHUFFLING] MARTIN: … Right. ARCHIVIST: I suppose we should find Doctor Doe. Finish our tour. MARTIN: Do we have to? ARCHIVIST: [HUFF] Probably not. MARTIN: … I don’t really know how to feel about that. ARCHIVIST: About Breekon? MARTIN: Yeah. ARCHIVIST: … Me neither.

;; And Jon is definitely not processing at all.

(MAG182) ARCHIVIST: I didn’t enjoy it, but… I don’t know, almost felt like doing a favour for an old friend…! MARTIN: [HUFF] An old friend who hated us. ARCHIVIST: I guess. Maybe we don’t have to feel any way at all. MARTIN: [NONCOMMITTAL SOUND] [BAG JOSTLING] [FOOSTEPS] ARCHIVIST: Come on, this place is starting to get to me.

There is the added sadness that Jon technically did something good (granting a wish!), but to someone really bad, and it was to kill him. Jon had mentioned that he felt like smiting avatars was making him worse:

(MAG174) ARCHIVIST: I–I just–! … This whole… “avenging angel” thing, I–I’m not… It doesn’t feel right. MARTIN: … It seemed to feel right when we were avenging all the wrongs done against you! ARCHIVIST: I know. I–I–I know, all right? But, well, th–… [SIGH] That’s kind of the problem, I have all this… power and, and I, I want to use it to try and help, but I… I don’t know, I mean, I do. Uh… I’ve done so much damage, an–and anything that might help to balance that is–! [SOFT SIGH] … But killing other avatars, it, it’s not… I, I don’t think it makes anything better. I think it just makes me worse. MARTIN: … You’re removing evil from the world! ARCHIVIST: I, I’m not, though, am I? [STATIC RISES] The tenement fire is still burning; the mortal garden is growing wild; the carousel i– HELEN: Urgh!

And he clearly did not do it out of revenge or anger, here… but it was still something he wanted to avoid because he felt that it was negatively impacting him. (Extra-sob over how like with Salesa, death was presented as a relief, because there is nothing good or better to hope for in this new world… Right now, the overall situation feels so depressing, like nothing good can be created ever again and the most anyone can hope for is just for things to end?)

I wonder if part of the final awkwardness had to do with the fact that Breekon was unable to go on after losing Breekon, which obviously puts Jon&Martin’s own relationship to mind: would Martin manage, if he were to be the only one left?

Alrighty, so they’re coming close-ish to London. I’m surprised that Helen didn’t pop by to pester Jon&Martin as soon as they came out of Salesa’s domain (since they might have been off the radar from her too, and she had kept tabs on them until now, even when she wasn’t revealing herself?), but that might be coming up: she had visited them right after Jon had smote Not!Sasha (his first kill Ceaseless Watching someone), and she had been quite cross when Jon had finally officialised that he didn’t want to do it anymore with Simon… so she could come back to comment on Breekon’s death. (And mmmmmmmmm… Helen, do you actually have a death wish just like Breekon, except it would be against your nature to be straightforward about it…?)

Them getting closer to London could mean Georgie&Melanie soon, too (since Jon had conjectured that they could be in London)? Hill Top Road might still happen on the way if they go a bit more South, too (especially with the reminder of Breekon’s delivery: lighter with a spiderweb is a thematic reminder of a certain Desolation&Web(&Co) house), and Annabelle had pointed out that they would see her again soon-ish… So, mm! Are they meant to be reaching the Panopticon in MAG188/MAG189, to close Act II? Or will they do something else before?

MAG183’s title makes me think of Smirke a lot, potentially Jonah, but the connection seems a bit unlikely given the overall, uh, state of the world. Vast or Buried? Lonely domain?

[thethirdwheel404]

Med Rewatch Series (#5)

S3 e3: Trust Your Gut. From what I remember this is a big one. I just remember this episode title honestly but we’ll see what happens.

-look at that! ava’s just casually in this scene, minding her own business, doing her job! you would never guess that this is a character who would later have a psychotic break and commit suicide.

-that’s really the point i’m trying to make. I hate all those posts where they’re like ‘i hated ava before, but season 4 has finally shown her true colors’ like not even?? no??? we’re trying to prove that that was never even a thing. i want to eliminate the possibility of s4 happening from your minds. nothing from s3 should ever be used as foreshadowing. that’s what the rewrite is about, ava being a good character. ava was never going to commit suicide. she was never gonna go psychotic. that should be ingrained in everyone’s minds.

-anyways, back to the episode.

-connor takes everything like a personal attack. relax

- i never realized how fun stoll was. like obviously not in the story but as a character he’s hilarious. unattached by everyone else’s drama

-awww. this maggie interaction is amazing. tapping sarah on the shoulder (neck actually but whatever) just to say hi. adorable. and sarah is already super jumpy. come on. her anxiety is already setting in. they really gave sarah two huge storylines in the same season.

-maggie... no one else would ever slash sarah’s tires. i mean honestly

-WHY DOES CONNOR HAVE TO CONTROL OF EVERYTHING - honestly ava was just reading off the chart and he can’t even let her do that he has to take over just to say the same things.

-and the way ava just takes it with her smug smile

-she is such a strong character there is no reason she would have gone crazy over connor she literally needs nothing from him.he has not ever had anything that she needed. 

- SHE’S JUST ROLLING HER EYES, SMIRKING, AND SHAKING HER HEAD AT THIS INSECURE MAN ava I love you.

-okay there’s no way i can explain it but after rolling her eyes at connor Ava turns and looks at the patient and instantly her face changes and you can see such pure concern in her eyes?? s4 ava could never (can someone please rb with a picture of what i’m talking about? it’s uncanny and so so sincere.)

- she’s in control of her emotions. she cares so much for her patients so don’t even try to play that card. the only thing connor has done literally since she got here is get in her way.

-AND CONNOR LOOKS AT HER WITH SUCH DISTRUST AND CONTEMPT. TELL ME HOW. this is insane. exasperating.

-and the way she smiles and comforts the patient. i mean come on. she’s just so amazing. AND COMFORTING. if ava really was as heartless as people say, she wouldn’t take the effort to do that. connor didn’t even do that, he just scowls at ava.

-which just proves my point, ava is only ever mean to people who she thinks deserve it. and, the more that I think about it, she’s never really actually mean. sure, she’s blunt and rude, but never cutting. she’s nice to her patients (and I know what you’re going to say, it’s not because she has to be. she’s a doctor, she still wants to help people). but when her patients are dicks, she’s not nice to them. she’s as snarky with as she’s professionally allowed to be.

-like, take this guy. he seems nice enough. he’s funny, polite, comes across charming, so ava is nice and is polite back to him.

-let’s move on.

-why is connor always so suspicious of ava. come on. he’s the one who should be sus. she literally said ‘Don’t worry, Ray, we’ll take good care of you’ and he’s giving her this weird side eye.

-ethan and will being in this board meeting is really adorable to me. like, just, bros.

-oh godddd sarah please relax. sweetie. please.

-sarah fucking tranqed him oh my god

-oh my god noah asking people for help literally shut the fuck up

-straight people are gross. not to hate but how does anyone sit through manstead

-connor literally needs to chill. I know this bit (they’re arguing over menial things in surgery) plays more to them just picking on each other, pulling each other’s pigtails on the playground if you will (i didn’t like that analogy but I used it anyway), but if you look at it, ava was only trying to help connor (suggesting a wider possible target and an easier to handle stitch) and connor took it wayyy to personally. sure the second bit of advise is just poking at him, but she suggested a better spot on the base and he shut her down without any thought.

-and then latham points out that there is no point in arguing, to which ava defers, then connor snidely says ‘Thank you, Doctor, Now, how about from here on out we keep the background noise to a minimum’ and ava just shakes her head, scoffing.

-at this point ava just likes annoying connor because its fun. it’s entertaining. he gets so upset. everyone’s done that, just be annoying for fun (its bad to say but i mean come on everyones done it)

-another point, ava immediately deferring to latham might read to some as her being a suck up but that’s not what it is.

-ava really likes seeing how close to the line she can get. she goes right up to it, but she never crosses it. the same is true with her interactions with other people outside of surgery.

-I really like this story of the girl who passed out and hit her head, and her brother’s a wreck, and her parents obviously think the brother’s a disappointment. and it was finals week so of course she wasn’t taking care of herself. and the brother knew that, and you can tell he cares so much and feels so bad. it’s nice

-complication on the surgery they were working on. ava comes in with a solution (off of connor’s mistake during surgery after not following her advice) but I have a sneaking suspicion that by the end connor will be back on top

-the effort it took connor to say ‘it’s a good idea’ come on man just fucking let it go

-i’m glad we’ve all agreed that connor’s just a dick

-aw look at that she even held the door for him. connor would never

-i don’t want to overly push the ‘med is sexist’ thing but how is it that in a storyline between nat and ethan, characters who have never been romantically involved, they still pull the woman thinks one thing, man refuses to believe it and is right dynamic. i mean come on med seriously. what the fuck is wrong with you.

-the look of annoyance and disbelief on ava’s face that connor hadn’t actually messed up. comedic, but also i get your pain.

-glad that latham sides with ava, ava advocating for a riskier procedure so they could ensure the blockage is removed)

-(something could be said about ava’s high-risk, high-reward ideals. you could even draw the parallel to events in s4 and s5, even though I really don’t want to. it’s an interesting and notable character trait to say the least)

-YOOOO I FORGOT HOW METAL THE PSYCH STORY GETS

-dude straight up cuts his abdomen open and his intestines spill out

-the fear and shock and emotion on sarah’s face make me feel so bad for her

-WAIT IS THIS THE EPISODE WHERE SHE LOSES THE END OF THE INSTRUMENT? IS THAT WHAT THIS IS? i am not prepared to watch an ava bekker breakdown rn.

-the shock on ava’s face when connor said nice job.

-ava actually tried to apologize to connor. well, not apologize but she feels a little bit bad for just how abrasive she’s been to connor. (connor didn’t necessarily have to make it super competitive). Ava said “Look, I know i have the tendency to step on toes. it’s nothing personal”

-and now they’re not arguing and are this close to actually working like a team

-and i cannot believe connor’s big one-liner is ‘Murphy’s law’

-the emotion on april’s face when the girl’s parents won’t even let her brother grieve for her. I feel it. astounding. its so painful omg

-ava: “your optimism is enchanting.” when i was writing earlier I was worried I wasn’t being accurate with her dialogue and making it sound too overly formal but i guess I nailed it. also, this line reinforces how much I love her (so does every other line)

-connor just refusing to give ava anything, no credit, no nothing. doesn’t even give her credit for earning the surgery saying “you may have elbowed your way onto the case, but he is still my patient” (I JUST TRANSITIONED INTO A QUOTE SO SMOOTHLY WHY CANT I DO THAT IN MY LANG RHETORICAL ANALYSIS ESSAYS YOU’RE KIDDING)

-hey it’s joey!

- i can appreciate him so much more when he’s not chasing after reese

-do you remember their first meeting? bickering over who gets the last splenda? (real meet cute amirite)

-dr. charles remarking how all the scientific advances can’t beat human instinct, nice little tie in to the episode title

-ava just smiling while connor waits for her to apologize. she. takes. no. shit.

-i literally hate connor’s face so much. it fucking looks predatory like stop looking at her like that. it’s almost like you were planning her psychotic break

-ava’s cunning, saying ‘we’ instead of ‘i’ when talking about the decisions being made. she’s smart. she knows what to do. She knows how to present herself. (and yeah, a little hypocritical that she said to connor ‘when you fail, I will make sure that it is noted that it was your fault and not mine,’ but like I said, she just knows how to present herself)

-latham: “Dr. Bekker seems to enjoy this discordance.”

-rhodes’ face when changing his mind and saying ‘maybe I do’ when asked if he enjoyed it too - he literally makes the dumbest faces. please. stop. (is it a straight people thing?)

Alright. Another episode down. 17 to go. This was actually a pretty good episode all around. Ava took none of connor’s shit and you’d have to squint to find any sort of romantic subtext in their interactions, which is huge win in my book. reese’s storyline wasn’t too bad, she didn’t go through too much trauma, which, the bar for watching med is incredibly low i guess. This was a really good episode for ava. like I said before, very little romantic subtext, and she had a redeeming quality in the way she obviously cared for her patient at the beginning of the episode.

The main point is something I’ve been reiterating again and again. Ava cares about her patients. Ava is mean to connor because she knows someone needs to put him in his place, and she is glad that it is her.

All in all, this was a pretty good Ava episode. Very happy.

thanks for sticking with it.

-

read the rest here:

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10 / Part 11 / Part 12 / Extra

[angelhummel]

5x05

Jumping right into this episode bc I hate myself lmao

Blaine shaking his ass while cleaning up the choir room is great and then the rest of the episode is all down hill tbh 

"Blaine, this is nothing to be embarrassed about!” ... “This is a revelation!” Mr. Schuester please stop talking and also don’t touch your students like that 

TWERK-TORIAL I’m literally gonna die Mr. Schuester what the fuuuck

Didn’t they say Jenna was the best at twerking but Tina had to be bad at it? We were robbed 

Why even bother filming a five second scene at a hair salon if Rachel just got a fucking wig?? I still maintain she should’ve actually cut her hair like that because it’s so cute 

Also I Am Woman is not a sexy song... What is this guy on about. Also if he didn’t like Rachel’s hair, literally everyone wears wigs on Broadway anyway. Jeez

I was about to skip this song but I said I like Rachel as Fanny better than Rachel as herself and I stand by that. Also idk about you guys, but when I think twerking, I think Funny Girl

Oh no this is the bathrooms episode. Ugh

Wasn’t twerking like getting stale by the time this ep came out? Also every time they say “twerk” my soul dies a little. Except for “our god given right to twerk” bc that’s hysterical 

Oh no Blurred Lines noooo. It’s been nice knowing you guys 

Seriously, why has Schue not been arrested yet? He should’ve been taken in about a dozen times by now

Okay I got to see Jenna shaking it so that makes it a little better. And Blaine and that hip thrusting move on the table... good times 

“You need to back your ass up to the fact that you, a married thirty-seven year old just performed a song about coercive sexual advances as nine minors twerked alongside you down the hallways of a public high school” “It’s called the first amendment!” oh my goddd 

Omg this episode also has shirtless Kurt yaaaas. Holy shit I remember we all lost our collective minds over this. It was so worth the wait though

Oh wow this Unique number was great. I almost got a little teary eyed. 

Also holy shit I really do love this New Directions better than the old New Directions. At least the guys. Jake and Ryder were so ready to kick some ass on Unique’s behalf. Where was that for Kurt, Finn?? Okay well just Finn I guess, since everyone else was ready to throw down tbh 

“We appreciate you moving this school board meeting to our auditorium because we don’t have any more sets” 

Oh I love this montage of dances though. So great. Blaine and Kitty look so fucking cuteeee. And Marley?? Holy shit. 

“Do you want to be on the right side of musical history?” Oh my god. This is honestly so funny. Like I hope no one is taking this seriously lol 

Aww Unique and Blaine used the same MLK quote as each other

“Are you dyslexic? Or illiterate? Or a charlatan?!” Kurt baby oh my god 

oh my god the tattoo guy is like “I don’t wanna hear everyone’s bs story behind their tattoos” .5 seconds later “What are you even doing here? Tell me everything!” 

“It’s femme-ophobic!” 

There’s something just so funny about season five and these last two episodes really highlight that. Like can you picture Rachel Berry on a wrecking ball? Quinn Fabray? Santana Lopez? Nah. But Marley on a wrecking ball?? Why not. I guess bc old gen Glee had The Climb and Party in the USA and new gen Glee has twerk demon thinks-she’s-black Miley 

Okay Will’s little bit with Unique was actually pretty good. I gotta give him props for once. “No one should have to work so hard and risk so much just to be themselves” ugh

Also wow Rachel had me crying. I think early s5 Rachel is the longest I’ve gone actually liking her. From 5x01 all the way to about Frenemies I think. But I draw the line there :P Actually maybe from some time during s4 all the way to 5x09. Wow that’s a looong time of liking Rachel, especially for me...

Actually I liked this episode more than I remember. It’s just a silly fun good time. You really need something like that and A Katy or A Gaga after something like the Quarterback

[twdmusicboxmystery]

9x13: TTD Clues

Okay, so I said yesterday that TTD yielded some good stuff, and it did. This won’t be terribly long, but it’s very exciting.

We often get interesting details from the quiz questions because tptb often put questions in that emphasize details they want us to know, that we don’t necessarily pick up simply from watching the episode. That was definitely true of this past week.

One quiz question asked what was NOT in Connie’s emergency stash of supplies in the building they went into. The answer was flashlights. Of course lights and flashlights = Beth. We even had her majorly associated with a flashlight in Still. While there are a lot of parallels between her and Connie, there are also a few anti-parallels, so I’m kinda thinking no flashlights = no Beth.

The second question was better, though. It was merely some dialogue the Highwaymen used when they came to rescue Tara’s group, so that wasn’t anything huge. But after that, there was a quote from tptb saying that when they cast the leader of the Highwaymen, they were looking for a “pirate Santa Clause whose eyes are dangerous.”

That’s REALLY jumping out at us for a few reasons. First, because it’s kind of an odd description for this actor. Yeah, he’s got a beard, but I don’t think many people look at him and think Santa Clause. They might if his beard was white, but it’s not. Plenty of men on TWD have had full beards (Rick anyone?) and with the exception of Hershel, who specifically did have a white beard, none of them were really thought of as Santa Clause types.

But there’s another reason that’s leaping out at us. Do you now what it is yet? Remember Daryl’s “I Nevers” in Still. Most of them have since come true in some way on the show (Details HERE). And one of them was “I ain’t never got nothing from Santa Clause.” Because of the St. Nicholas/Pickle stories, where St. Nicholas resurrects 3 dead people, we’ve always assumed that the thing Daryl would get from Santa Clause would be Beth coming back to him.

Now tptb are calling this dude Santa Clause. 

We already know from spoilers that we’ll probably see some snow at the end of the season, so there already might be a Christmas-type theme going on. And then there’s the fact that I mentioned yesterday that this dude wears a sheriff-type hat. So this is already promising. If “Santa” gives Daryl Beth for Christmas, I’m thinking this guy will be the one to tell him where she is.

And for the record, it doesn’t negate anything else we’ve thought about her coming through Negan or the Whisperers in some way. I still think her arc will be very entwined with both, but something about this guy and his Santa-ness will play into it too.

We can also read into the pirate theme (because “pirate Santa Clause”). Pirates suggest water and ship themes, and we’ve obviously seen a lot of those types of symbols around Beth as well.

Finally, did you notice in the same note above, his name is Ozzie? As in...the Wizard of Oz(zie)? If he actually represents the character of Oz, then he’s the one who knows how to get Beth--I mean Dorothy--home to her family. Just saying. 

Oh, but that is not all concerning the Highwaymen. That is not all.

One of the behind-the-scenes notes, they said the note the Highwaymen sent to Carol and Ezekiel really did have a list of demands on it. It wasn’t just a blank sheet of paper or anything. (Again, they had to tell us this because we didn’t actually see what was written on the note in the episode.) Some of the things they said they wanted were “40 paperback books – fiction – no romance novels.” Um…ROMANCE NOVELS!!!

So yet another tie to Beth. And, if we’re being honest, also more evidence that Carzekiel has a similar arc coming soon. We’re not sure what the 40 represents. Someone in my group suggested it points back to S4, where the original “damn romance novel” line was heard, courtesy of Daryl. I also think it could be a biblical number. In the bible, 40 is a number showing a period of intense trials. The Children of Israel wandered in the wildness for 40 years. Christ was temped in the wilderness for 40 days, etc. So yeah. Pretty cool.

The final, major thing that happened on TTD is that they did ask Lauren Ridloff (who plays Connie) about all the talk of Daryl and Connie. She started out by joking about a shower scene between the two. I’m sure that encouraged some of the shippers, but you have to understand the context.

1. She said it with a huge grin on her face, but then said, “No, but seriously…” and then continued with the next part of what she said. Which means by definition, she wasn’t being serious about the shower scene.

2. This is at least the third time I can remember someone mentioning a shower scene when it comes to Daryl or Daryl’s love life. I can’t remember exactly which seasons or episodes it happened on, but it was always on TD. I want to say maybe the season finale of S7, but I’m not positive. And another time, maybe in conjunction with the idea of Daryl and Jesus. Every time, it was just a joke. It obviously didn’t happen those other times, and it won’t happen now with Connie either. It’s almost because their go-to line when talking about a possible love interest for Daryl.

But more importantly is what came after the “No, but seriously…” Lauren pretty much shut down the idea of Connie and Daryl, at least for the time being. She said the relationship is more like Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.

Feel free to look up the reference for more details if you aren’t familiar. It’s an American western about two outlaws who are best friends and partners in crime. 

(Btw, the outlaw theme is huge right now on the show; we’ve been discussing it a lot in my group lately. Obviously the highwaymen are part of the outlaw theme. This reference by Lauren is too.) 

Now, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance kid were both straight men, so obviously there was no romance there, which is part of what Lauren was trying to convey, I think. But more than that, the relationship is very much a sympatico, kumbaya type. Like they’re always of like minds and can practically read each other’s thoughts and will always have one another’s backs. That’s how Lauren is describing Daryl and Connie’s relationship, which I think is pretty accurate to what we’ve seen.

Could it change in the future? Technically, sure, but we know TWD plans WAY far ahead so they can foreshadow things, and we haven’t seen anything at all that foreshadows romance between these two.

I do want to mention that they did a poll asking who shipped Daryl and Connie and it ended up being 80% of those who took the poll. On the one hand, you could argue that those who took the poll aren’t representative of the entire fandom, but I don’t actually think it’s a problem for TD even if it do. Because I don’t think 80% are hardcore shippers specifically of Daryl with Connie. I think it shows that most people just genuinely want Daryl to have a love interest and to find happiness (which is sweet).

And I honestly think that number would rise higher, to 90% or 95%, if it’s Beth, because there’s ALREADY a history established there that people ALREADY shipped several seasons past.

Okay, I think that’s it for TTD. Exciting stuff! ;D

[why-this-kolaveri-machi]

Notes on SPN 14.02

So! I saw 14.01 yesterday, which was for the most part, surprisingly, a blast, and since I have a bit of free time today I thought I’d keep a hold of the momentum and watch and liveblog 14.02 as well. I’ve heard it’s one of those Buckleming plot-a-paloozas, but I’ll try my best to provide semi-reasonable commentary instead of incoherent ranting.

Right. As always, typing this post up as I watch. SPOILERS for the episode ahead.

1. We start with a recap of last season’s finale, and Show, do you really want to remind us this many times about that wire-fight?

1.25. Show’s lore regarding possession has been dizzyingly inconsistent, but the more I think about it, the less sense it makes to me that Nick is alive? Because Nick couldn’t actually house Lucifer for very long in s5—he was deteriorating, which was why Lucifer needed Sam so urgently. The last we saw of Nick, he was dead/dying in a dingy room in Detroit, when Lucifer jumped ship to Sam. Even if Lucifer assumed Nick’s visage in the Cage and afterwards when he was brought back, Nick-the-person with Nick-memories and Nick-feelings isn’t there anymore.

1.255. So what does this mean? Like, if this was explained away sometime over the last two seasons--I’m very sorry, I really wasn’t paying a lot of attention to large chunks of them—please let me know. If there’s no explanation, then has Lucifer disappeared inside a Nick-construct? Did he use a loophole to escape the worst of the Archangel Blade right at the moment Dean plunged it into his side? Lucifer was “human” for a while in s13, iirc. Did he have enough “human” to hide behind and recover? And has he filled that human with the memories/personality of one of the humans he knew best? Is it because he spent centuries assuming Nick’s body in the Cage that he’s most comfortable being him here?

… I don’t know. Maybe I’m missing something obvious, but, hey, it’s fun to speculate.

2. We start off with people artfully tied up in an artfully derelict church illuminated artfully by artful lightning.

… *groans* I hope we aren’t getting a torture scene already.

2.25. Well, Michael’s certainly chirpier than he was last episode.

2.5. Is he trying to make new angel minions, is that it, by feeding them blood and his grace? Leaving aside the lack of creativity in the mechanism, the whole thing kind of makes a weird sense. Michael is looking for those with purity of purpose—among religious leaders (and refugees, apparently), angels, and then finally monsters—and rejecting those ‘poisoned’ by nuance and experience and supposed sin. After all, no being whose wants are even slightly more complex than ‘food’ is going to be a perfect follower.

It also plays into his assholey, self-righteous personality and, well, god-complex.

(Dean would’ve appreciated this quest for pure purpose.)

3. There’s a kind of sitcom-y vibe to this little expository scene: Bobby talks shit about angels only for Castiel to walk in with a quirked eyebrow; the group talks about Jack and Lucifer only for Jack to walk in and go, “hey, you talkin bout my father again?”

(these are the tiny ways I feel SPN is at cross-purposes with its own theme of ‘found family’. Everybody’s obsessed with blood relations, to the point that Lucifer and Jack are constantly referred to as ‘father and son’ when there is no need to bring that relationship up. Last year, even Castiel referred to Jack while talking to Lucifer as ‘your son’ without any prompting from Satan. Words are so powerful, and so revealing.)

3.45. Castiel “as you know, Bob”-ing is hilarious. Oh, Buckleming.

3.5. Um, not to dismiss or compare Castiel’s considerable trauma at the hands of Lucifer, but is anybody going to acknowledge even once that Sam, who appears to have taken the brunt of caring for Nick so far, is also going to have trouble looking into his abuser’s face??

4. Nick continues to make no sense to me.

(I like little touches like Castiel telling him that he needs to remind himself to eat.)

4.5. I kinda like this scene, sue me. It makes sense to me that Nick would obsess over and over again about how he could’ve let himself say yes to Lucifer, although Lucifer is as old as time and had all the power in that situation. The ‘monster’ bit is a little too on-the-nose for me, but I like it. Really drives home what an intimate, horrifying violation possession is and how scarred and twisted it can leave the survivor who spirals down a well of undeserved guilt and self-loathing.

I wish Sam was the one talking to him now, or was at least present. He’d talked in the previous scene about how Nick was only ‘housing’ and deserved a chance to rebuild his life, and that hard-earned generosity of spirit would’ve been a balm to all three of them, I think.

5. ETA on the TOD, Bobby? *sporfle* Seriously though, I love this role-reversal: usually it’s Bobby who’s rolling his eyes at SamnDean’s eff-bee-eye shenanigans.

5.25. Ah, but where this Bobby has become an expert now is in telling the difference between smiting patterns!

5.5. I wonder if trying to appear non-threatening is just Sam’s default whenever he meets with, uh, ‘civilians’.

6. I really, honestly hate that the Bunker just happens to have ‘lore books’ on whatever the hell random question they’re having that day. I just kinda hate the Bunker in general, now that I think about it.

6.25. But doesn’t that ‘human component’ (lol) make a Nephilim strong enough to take down even archangels?

6.5. As pep talks go, that wasn’t bad. A few notes:

a) there’s an earnestness to the words that I’m sure that Castiel learned from Sam.

b) I think this is the first time that Castiel—or anybody—has referred to the events of 8.23 as “The Great Fall”. It’s interesting that it’s already gotten a name among angelkind and that Castiel would call it that, given how close he was to the events that led to it.

c) I want to both laugh and cry at Castiel’s assertion that Sam and Dean were there for him after he lost his grace. He was mostly left to fend for himself, obviously, but there’s no space for that in a pep talk.

d) Sometimes it’s easy to forget that Jack is actually just only a year old. Asking him not to dwell on something so… immediate is a tall ask.

7. Ok, so that was a nice snappy little counterpart to Lucifer-talking-to-Sam-in-the-mirror from the s5 finale. I like how Michael is blunt and matter-of-fact while Lucifer relished in the moment, bragged about how he’d had Sam’s number all his life, and seduced him with violent revenge. This is nice.

I don’t know, guys, I’m really enjoying this episode so far!

8. Sooooo Lucifer is residing in some subconscious layer of Nick’s mind? Is this PTSD shaped by his possession? Is Lucifer bleeding through his own construct? Are we going to find that it was actually Nick who killed his own family? (I think we are.)

8.2. Castiel looking for residual Lucifer in Nick reminds me of when he was doing the same for Sam re: Gadreel, and that reminds me of Dean’s ‘teen mom’ joke from that episode and now I’m pissed off.

8.5. Nick is fascinating, but is he fascinating enough that I care about his little revenge sub-plot? Eh. Jury’s out. Plus I just can’t stand the actor anymore

9. Sam’s just kinda there to move the plot along. Give him some more character moments, episode!

10. Michael reminded me of Dean in the scene with the werewolf. I’m really not getting a capital P personality from Michael, though that may be due to a personal choice. Or maybe because Michael was never a distinct character to begin with, and this is far more noticeable when Ackles plays it and ‘Dean’ threatens to take over any minute.

Or going meta for a second—maybe Michael’s deliberately infusing some Dean into his persona. Possession isn’t simply putting a thing inside a box: both entities are influenced and informed by the other, but only one has all the power.

11. … ok, so my interest in this Nick subplot is rapidly decaying. Nick did it. He killed his family. It’s not a mystery.

11.5. The emotional dynamics of this scene… checks out, actually. Of course Nick is projecting all his rage on Castiel. And of course Castiel regrets destroying Jimmy Novak’s life the most. More than toeing the party line and being instrumental in almost bringing the Apocalypse about in s4; more than releasing the Leviathan; more than trusting Metatron in s8; more than killing his brethren, who’ve tortured him back and tried to kill him on more than one occasion. But Castiel has been both angel and human—both possessing and being possessed—long enough that he’s intimately aware of the devastation it leaves both within and without. And there are no excuses for the way he and other angels have done that damage—so carelessly, so casually. Even the most well-intentioned angels are deceptive and manipulative and give not a second thought about their hapless vessels. It’s a sign of Castiel’s growth and compassion that he recognises his responsibility in this and that he invokes Jimmy’s name with both reverence and regret. In all this shouting and crying that Show doesn’t acknowledge the deep-seated trauma of possession survivors, this is actually a great moment.

12. That werewolf leader looks familiar. Has the actor been on SPN before? He kinda reminds me of one of the leads on Suits.

12.5. That’s a lot of clunky dialogue, but Michael is basically confirming what I speculated in point 2. Cool.

13. How Jack managed to get away and find his grandparents is never explained, but that’s a familiar Buckleming trope—characters are put together in a scene without any regard to how it might connect to other scenes or how/why those characters might’ve gotten there.

13.2. That said, it’s kinda poignant that Jack, having lost his angelic powers, is now trying to understand the human side of his heritage. He’s trying his best to adapt to his situation; this one year old kid is more well-adjusted than most of the adults on this show.

13.5. Well, holy shit, Jack talking about Kelly to his grandparents is just… making me feel emotional in a way this show hasn’t made me feel in a long, long time. This Calvert kid is good.

13.6. It is bizarre that Kelly’s parents are mostly ok with not knowing Kelly’s whereabouts for over a year—I don’t think we ever found out what position exactly Kelly held in the President’s office, and I can picture them in a bit of denial by telling themselves the reason they haven’t heard from Kelly is because she is in the middle of super-secret government work. I don’t know! But it’s just about handwave-able though, and their scene with Jack is worth it.

14. Honestly, Castiel, how did he travel so far and for so long without you noticing? So much for “Don’t worry, Sam, I will babysit this defenceless creature.”

(Speaking of Sam, wheeeerrreee’s Saaaaammmm)

“I suppose there are worse ways to be human than to be kind.”

“Have you heard from Sam?”

I LOVE YOU, JACK.

14.5. No, actually, Dean wouldn’t want it any other way. He said as much when Gadreel took over Sam completely back in s9.

15. Shoo, Nick.

16. FINALLY MORE SAM. With only like 4 minutes of episode left. What, Show, did you think you spoiled us too much last episode with all that glorious, glorious Sam content?

16.25. And finally a bit of action! The rapid-fire editing is making my head hurt, though.

16.5. Soooooooooooooo Dean’s back? Obviously Michael is playing a long game here, but it says something about the show that they can’t keep Dean away for more than two episodes without getting the shakes. I honestly miss Sera Gamble and her desire to rattle the status quo: in s6, she kept the so-called ‘real’ Sam away for half the season, which gave us imo some of the best storytelling, characterisation and acting from both Padalecki and Ackles in the entire show. In s7 she took away all the Winchester markers: the Impala, weird motel rooms, Bobby’s house. Of course, after she left the show settled back into a familiar rut (substituting Bobby’s house with that thrice-damned Bunker). I wish the show would take risks with these two again. s9 and the beginning of s10 were so very promising but there was no follow-through.

I guess they want to MotW fillers for a few episodes and that would be weird without SamnDean SamnDeaning it in the Impala, but Show, why don’t you just say ‘fuck it’ and try weird on for size? What do you have to lose? I mean, seriously?

17. Nick’s the murderer—called it!

18. This wasn’t terrible, you guys. 95% of the episode was just people sitting around having conversations, the dialogue was clunky, ideas derivative, scenes progressed without any rational links between them, the pacing was wonky, and there was too much exposition. But the emotional beats were solid and the set up is reasonably intriguing. I’ve seen far, far worse BuckLeming episodes.

Pacing is a real issue in this season, though. And Michael is not remotely intimidating as a threat.

[amwritingmeta]

13x01: Full Episode Deconstruction

What am I supposed to say here? Sincerely, what? How can I even begin to create a coherent commentary on this episode when the imagery in my head is the entire crew with their balls out? *prostrates myself on the floor again* *fighting back tears of ever more resilient hope* *because them balls are so beautiful, babes*

I mean, if this isn’t balls out then I don’t know what is. And what the fuck does balls out even mean in the first place? 

It means the narrative tying back to the first act, which is S1-3. But they’re bound to - and have so done - do callbacks to the start of the second act as well, which is S4-5. 

I believe they’ll be picking and choosing to do callbacks to all the most memorable moments because this final stretch of the road is all about pulling the curtain back and revealing what the show really is all about, what the narrative has really been trying to tell us all along, moving us into an ending that feels surprising and yet wholly inevitable. 

Meaning the narrative is wrapping up and is singing its last note as it hurtles down the highway towards positive endgame. So far the sound of that note is a thing of epic proportion and we only have the first episode.

*light sheen of sweat on my brow*

So, here we go, upwards and onwards with this review. 

Let me tell you, firmly, that we screamed, we ( @margarittet @bluestar86 @tinkdw ) all screamed out loud as soon as the first notes of Nothing Else Matters started playing. 

Anyone who has seen the S12 recap reel that they released during SDCC this summer will have been screaming their heads off as well, because that reel was all about family and love and it was so CasDean/DeanCas/Destiel heavy that one cannot even begin to fathom the joy it’s brought all summer long. 

And here they go and use the song again (well, as Saz pointed out, now that they’ve got the rights why wouldn’t they?) but also we were just amazeballed in our eye sockets at the reveal that it was the chosen opening song and omfg we were four seconds in and already we could just tell that this. Was going. To be. Epic.

And fuck me I barely even know where to begin. So I’ll follow the above comment on the opening  music mind-melt with… the first scene, I guess. Feels a bit boring and standard since so much meta has already been published but, oh well, can’t be galloping on the back of a unicorn over the rainbow in every post.

…….. Can you?

No. Okay, no. Keeping it neat and tidy. Scene by scene, blow by blow —> off we go.

1. “Father?”

I have a feeling this season is going to be about fatherhood.

That’s totally sarcasm, because we all knew this season was going to be about fatherhood. Dabb has stated it on more than one occasion. Here’s our first introduction to Jack and glowy daddy devil eyes fade and give way for confusion almost immediately, which made me do a little dance and almost make a little love to poor Tink sat beside me on the sofa.

Yes, we knew he was going to be a blank slate but actually seeing it, seeing ALL of this episode play itself out, still gave shockwaves of pure awe. There he is. It’s Jack! Pleasure to meet you, finally.

2. Ummmmmmmmmmm no

I mean YES. Because oh my God, look at his wings on the ground. They’re too magnificent for words. (yes @magnificent-winged-beast that’s a nod to you) (a sad one) And Dean’s face. Look at Dean’s faaaaaaaace. And how it shifts from utter disbelief, like he can’t even compute, like, no, this isn’t supposed to happen, this isn’t right, and into focus at the reason for it and what can be done about it. It’s like he’s looking at Cas thinking How…? Why…? And then his brain clicks and all he can think is Nephilim.

(what is sort of horrifying to think about is that, to Dean, Jack is a baby - Dean doesn’t know that Jack’s all growed up...)

Tink has been banging her drum for this moment of Dean pulling his gun and running up to scare the bejesus out of Jack since May. I think I might’ve given her a bruise from screaming YES and shaking her by the arm. :P

3. Visual Manifestation of Power

Sam is Sam is SAM. God, I love Sam so much throughout this entire episode. He’s so Sam. That’s a shitty comment, but seriously, he IS SO SAM. Compassionate and logical. I believe this season is going to be so good to Sam and he’s already stepping into those Leader Sam boots.

As ever, Dabb uses a scene with efficiency and establishes a lot of things for us here.

Jack has a mission - he wants his father and needs to find him. Jack’s eyes glowing throughout the scene tells us that, no matter how calming Sam is trying to be, Jack hasn’t begun to trust him yet, and then Dean barges in, gun drawn, spots those glowing eyes, takes aim and fires off a shot. So the instinct of self-preservation takes over and Jack’s powers manifest.

The visual of Jack’s power is so goddamn brilliantly effective, because I think we know he’s bound go dark side, and he is fucking scary here. (I hope we’re right) (we have to be right in that he’ll go dark and I can’t wait!) (I can’t wait for Dark Jack!!) He knocks the brothers out cold.

TITLE CARD: it’s so fucking beautiful, what else is there to say?

My first reaction - as I’m certain most of ours was to it - was literally holy fuck, it looks like the sun!!

The up-side-down cross with an I inside it makes me think of how I believe this season will focus on the question of identity more than ever before, based in Dean finally beginning to trust, to have faith in people outside of himself, easing up on his need for control, all of this immediate and necessary stepping stones toward him finding self-worth in realising all of his self-worth is not in being the hammer, it is just as much in being the shield. 

He can take the backseat and still be useful, appreciated and loved. 

4. Burning on the Ceiling

Dean dreams of Mary stepping between the brothers and Lucifer. 

So, this dream sequence tells me that Mary going through the rift is - to Dean - the same as her dying, killed in hellfire once again, and him unable to stop it. 

But what else does this image from the Pilot hit home? This nightmare image of Mary burning on the ceiling? What does that image represent to Dean Winchester? 

Well, it set the course for his entire life, didn’t it? Losing her again is like a sudden reset, as though perhaps that change that had begun to take hold now after 12x22 was nothing but smoke and mirrors after all and this proves it. Whatever hope Dean had begun to feel for the future was taken from him with Cas’ death, and this flashback to his helplessness as a child when watching his mother burn only underlines how all the change he’s been going through is for nothing: he’s back right where he began. There is no happy ending in the cards for him. Ever.

Mary also bookends the episode, so Dean having a nightmare about her death leads into the reveal that no, Lucifer did not kill her the moment the rift closed: she’s still alive and, moreover, Lucifer is hellbent on her staying that way.

What else will you be proven wrong about, Dean Winchester? <3

5. Does He Have Wings?

The brothers wake up and we get a closeup of Dean picking up his gun. Yeah, he won’t be deterred by some freak power show, they’ve dealt with those before, and he is clearly hellbent on finding Jack. There will be no asking first-shooting later - that kind of power isn’t messed with, it’s put down before it can kill anyone. 

The cut on Dean’s lip intrigues me. He keeps touching it, it gets worse, then heals up, and at the end of the episode Mary has a cut in the exact same place after Lucifer hits her. There’s a visually established link between Dean and Mary in this episode. She was always an incredibly strong mirror for him, so this is bound to be meaningful later on. What’s lovely is that she remains a Cas mirror as well, stuck in her own Purgatory.

6. Nature Child

I love this shot of Jack’s feet walking in earth and dried pine needles, Jack surrounded by the forest. It feels organic and non-threatening, Jack sussing out this planet of ours with every new step he takes, and it’s even a subtle link to Cas and how he loves nature.

7. Pirate Pete’s Jolly Treats

Seriously, though. Seriously. We have a fast food joint with its menu changed by a blue-eyed and dark-haired Cas-on-the-outside/Dean-on-the-inside mashup of mischievousness. There is a joyful wink here that is not even subtle anymore and there are no fucks given and I love it. Please let it continue. (I have zero doubt that it will but, as ever, I could be wronggg)

High Seas Butt Combo is probably my favourite, but the buttshake has such a nice ring to it, too.

Now, Clark is a delight whatever view you take on him. Either he’s a guy with a wicked sense of humour and buckets of self-assurance who goes wide-eyed and looks rather delighted at the sight of a naked dude - or he’s all those things and just rather amazed at a dude without a stitch of clothing repeating the word “father” into his intercom. Whatever else there is, at the very foremost, there will most likely be friendship here as it seems Clark reappears in 13x03. 

Clark calls his mom -->

8. Sheriff Barker

*insert other people’s brilliant meta on the FUCKING MUG*

The FUCKING MUG could be a plant of the place itself, that something big will happen later on in the season in the spot where the rift occurred, where Jack was born and where Cas died. Kind of a significant place to remember the name of… Then again, they could easily plant it in dialogue or just bring up “the place where Cas died” so… Very very very visual plant of that mug. Or perhaps Phil Sgriccia is selling these mugs on eBay and is making a not so subtle product placement… (goes to check eBay to immediately endorse) (I’m a sucker for a good mug)

9. “Cas is…”

Look at that big beautiful body of water (rebirth) and the mountains (knowledge) and that lone white sailboat in the middle of it. Just so pretty, if you ask me.

Dean: We still have holy oil, right? Sam: For what? Dean: ‘Cause we’re gonna have to hit him with everything we’ve got. Sam: Hold on a second. Can we just talk about what happened back there? Dean: Sure, which part? Let’s see - Crowley’s dead, Kelly’s dead, Cas is… mom’s gone, and apparently the Devil’s kid hit puberty in thirty seconds flat. Oh, and he tried to kill us. Sam: Yeah, because you shot at him. Dean: I tried to kill the monster, Sam, it’s kinda what we do. Sam: We don’t know what he is yet, Dean, and I had it under control. Dean: I’m sorry, are you defending the son of Satan? Sam: I’m not defending anything. I’m just saying, look, with everything that’s happened I’m obviously spun out also, but we need a plan. Dean: Yeah - kill him. That’s the plan. Look, right now all that matters is finding him and ending him before he hurts anybody else. Now, once we do that we’ll figure everything else out. Sam: What about Cas? Is he really dead? Dean: You know he is.

Ohhhh Dabb, the evil man. I’m sure there’s a ton of coda after the weekend (I’ve glimpsed one or two!), but wow, Dabb left out the scene of the brothers going back outside before going after Jack, both of them standing on that sand, by Cas’ body, taking in those wings in daylight, Sam maybe just double checking for a pulse or any sign of life, Dean… well, I think he’d still be just blankly staring because it’s starting to sink in. 

Then Dean lifting Cas in his arms and bringing him inside while Sam goes and gets that sheet to cover him with. Oh, my heart. This is where that “You know he is” from Dean stems from, right? Yeah. They moved him inside and they know that there’s nothing they can do. Sam still holding out the smallest hope and Dean feeling it deep inside, that this is it. He’s lost Cas. And nothing else matters, as this entire episode demonstrates to us.

*mind* *so* *fucking* *blown*

Here’s the thing. In this my most recent long ass episode deconstruction I talk about how Castiel entering Dean’s life sets about a change, sets about a sudden need for self-examination, because Dean’s attraction to Cas is undeniable even to him and, to be honest, looking at that small smile in 4x05, he looks like he just might be in the first stages of falling in love. And the point of the love story (of any love story) is to push character progression. To make Dean need something more out of life, which will lead to him slowly daring to hope for more, because the need inside is taking over and is overriding any fear of the possible fallout.

Shooting that grenade launcher and tearing down that wall at the beginning of 12x22, which lead directly into him letting Sam go off and lead a mission before turning around and confronting/forgiving his mother, was a leap and a bound for Dean’s individual arc. What I’m getting at is that the above dialogue ties back into the image of Mary burning on the ceiling and Dean’s loss of hope. He is so fucking bitter, right? “I tried to kill the monster, Sam, it’s kinda what we do.” 

It’s like - okay, so this is my only function on this Earth: to kill. Well, then, let me kill. I’ll kill anything and right now what needs killing is this thing related to the fucking Devil. This is all I am, right? This is all I’m meant to be or meant to have.

What is so remarkable about this dialogue is that Sam is subtly, but firmly, standing his ground, just as he did in 12x20 when they had the whole Cas-isn’t-himself exchange, where Dean was spun out of his head with fear, and Sam just did not see the situation in the same light at all. Sam gets to even make the awesome statement “and I had it under control.” Fuck yes, you did, Sam - you’re in control of this situation and Dean is spiralling through his anger-fuelled denial of his grief, wanting a target to blame and having it.

I love you, Sam Winchester.

Dean’s face after he says “finding him and ending him before he hurts anybody else” is also telling of where his head is at and who that anybody else is in relation to. (yes it’s Cas who got hurt)

And then they’ll figure “everything else” out - as in what to do about Cas’ body that they left behind in that house. 

And then, of course, we get the lens flare to end all lens flares.

I mean, when the fuck has this colour not been used in a situation related to Cas and now they are fucking undeniably tying it to Cas by having it flare TO CAS’ FUCKING NAME. *they will murder us all* *balls so fucking out and dangling in all their glory*

The rest is under the cut. It got long. *smiles in friendliest manner*

10. North Cove

Take note. I have a feeling the name of this place will be on the final exams. ;)

11. Heaven Divided

Cas lying dead on a table will haunt me forever.

So they establish that there is a side of Heaven still on Cas’ side, and one side that is decidedly not.

*hands clapping ecstatically*

The Decidedly Not side calls Kelly “the brood mare”, the more Empathic Angel clearly aggravated by it. It’s established they want Jack and when the Decidedly Not angel mutters that of course Jack’s gone, looking down with something like disgusted disappointment at Cas before covering him up again, we get this expression from the Empathic Angel as Decidedly Not moves off:

Now, she actually looks smugly pleased here, right? Like she’s happy her companion doesn’t suspect what she’s really up to. I’ve no spec to add because I’ve no fucking clue what this means, but Heaven being up to old tricks doesn’t feel too far-fetched. Wether it’s tricks for the good or tricks for the worse remains to be seen. It is doubly-intriguing that the angel looking like she’s up to misbehaving is the angel empathic to Cas, thinking he “deserved better”. This expression is also linked to Jack, though, and the fact that he’s gone: is she looking pleased because Jack slipped through their fingers? Or are there bigger things afoot here… We shall just have to wait and see!

12. There Is No Such Thing as Weird

I mean, this just made my fucking day for the rest of the fucking year. My brain, my head, my soul and my heart - forever singing praises, because yes. If nothing else had given me the balls out feels, this would be the moment that I just went holy fuck they are making a fucking statement right here and right now because THIS IS WHAT THE SHOW HAS ALWAYS BEEN ABOUT. And this made me feel they are bringing it to the forefront now. This is what this season will be dealing with: no more black and white, all of it glorious shades of grey all over. 

Honesty.

Ie. BOOM SHAKALAKA: curtain drawn back and look at the truth of us.

Sheriff Barker: There is no such thing as weird. Everyone’s normal in their own way.

I do so adore you, Andrew Dabb.

I was so happy when Jack said that Kelly is in Heaven. She sacrificed herself out of love because she had such faith in him, she felt his goodness surge through her when he saved her life, and I will continue to believe he saved her life out of the love she’d already taught him, rather than blind self-preservation - and the same when he killed Dagon. That’s why the flash he gave Kelly of Cas stepping in front of her contained the dialogue “You get away from her” rather than “You get away from them.” But I shan’t digress. I’m just happy she’s in Heaven.

And “the bad woman burned”. Dagon as representative of evil in 12x19 is no surprise, but oh my God how nice to hear Jack label her as such. He remembers the universe screamed, which is amazing exposition for his powers. 

I kind of love how there’s such an air of Jody around Sheriff Barker, and definitively a mothering energy as well. I wonder if both mother and son will be a possible addition to Wayward. It’d be such cool beans.

Clark asks Jack what he’s on and we just get Jack being Cas, wearing a tan jacket and just feeling like Cas and it’s amazing. Yeah, it is fucking amazing. And Jack’s hungry —> so fucking human. As in showing his humanity, not foreshadowing anything human for Cas!! (just to be clear)

13. Baby Is So Dirty!!

So the brothers arrive to Jolly Pete’s and it’s Sam’s idea to go check it out, while Dean is being overtly aggravated with the mere idea, right? He sends Sam in alone so that he can call Jody, which I personally think is a pretty amazing sign that the codependency is continuing on its track of crumbling into dust. After the call, Dean sits for a second, reflecting, and since he’s alone he takes the opportunity. (we know what he does - he goes around the corner and prays)

14. Sam and the Butt Combo

This is a well-written, tight piece of exposition right here, but nope, I’m leaving it for now and might come back to it another day because I love Miriam. 

On Friday we were all loving the fact that Sam spots that menu and does his Reaction Face to it - his oh, ok, so that happened face. It feels significant for this season. Especially since that menu was created by our walking, talking Cas/Dean in-on-body embodiment. 

Also, Jack has the coolest fingerprints in the history of fingerprints.

15. Elsa

Okay, so I sincerely just love this shit. Any Disney reference breathes air into my lungs and mentioning Elsa is… well, it’s fucking significant because shedding your tightly held facade to be free of the idea of what you should be, and be happy with who you’ve been all along, is kinda the point of Dean’s arc.

Now.

Miriam: I punched a wall once. Well, a poster on a wall, but same diff, right? Freshman year I had this roommate - Becky - she had this giant poster of Elsa - you know, from Frozen? And I mean, first: who brings something like that to college? A cartoon, really? Like, hello home school, right? Anyway, Becky was - and I say this in the most feminist, screw the patriarchy way - a giant super-bitch. She’d take things and break things and piss people off and just do whatever she wanted, no matter who it hurt. It’s like the whole world was just Becky to her, you know? Dean: So you punched her poster. Miriam: And lit most of her stuff on fire. I’ve got issues. Sam: Dude, what’d you do to your hand? Miriam: Don’t ask. He’s super-sensitive.

Watch this scene again and watch how Dean reacts to her dissing Elsa, dissing liking cartoons at college age, dissing home schooling, look at how he just relates to fucking ALL of it and how he’s so done with her. He then brings out a bottle of alcohol, takes one swig of it (after fucking praying and getting nothing for it and brutally attacking a sign as a violent outlet for... despair, pent up grief, fury - take your pick), pours the rest on his wound and doesn’t drink a drop more of it, all the while being mostly aggravated with the scantily clad, attractive girl on the opposite side of Baby’s roof. 

I mean, I’m just saying that he didn’t ask Sam to get him a burger and he didn’t focus on the fast food right in front of his nose, he barely touched that drink and he’s not for one second seeing this girl as any kind of means of distraction. Idk if we will get coping mechanisms galore in the coming episodes, but personally I would rather he shut himself away in a darkened room and didn’t want to engage with the world at all because what the fuck is even the point? He’ll do the job, but other than that? Meh. (but we’ll see) (and if we do get coping mechanisms HEY that is so all good!)

Baby is like a lie detector. Shit usually gets real around Baby, so no wonder Miriam’s calling out of Dean’s deeper personality traits come out here, as well as the call-out to how he’s super-sensitive. Like whaaaaaat? YES. 

Miriam has come to act as exposition for how Dean really feels, rather than how he’s acting. She can see right through him, thanks to being an angel and all, and it’s interesting which buttons she immediately chooses to push. 

So I read this dialogue as being a deconstruction of Dean himself: 

his non-performing side is tied to the Elsa poster

his toxic masculinity is tied to the super-bitch

the poster got punched

most of super-bitch’s things got lit on fire

And “It’s like the whole world was just Becky to her, you know?” to me is such a resounding uppercut right into the jaw of control freak Dean that I can’t even. 

And then Miriam ends her statement with a “you know?” which is so telling, because Dean does know. He hasn’t related to the world in the selfish way Miriam paints it out as, but THAT IS HOW HE IS FEELING RIGHT NOW. 

So fucking guilt-ridden and full of self-blame that he can barely even stand it, as always - thinking that if he’d just related to Cas as CAS, rather than him seeing everything through his need to be in control of everything all the time, then perhaps Cas would be alive right now.

But there’s something else there, too - a budding hopelessness, a growing not-giving-a-fuck attitude, and it will be challenged and underlined later by Miriam calling our attention to it with one of the most epic lines of this entire fucking series. 

16. Flickering Lights

I had my comrades of the evening giggling like mad because, well, fan fiction territory galore. Flickering lights as Cas and Dean get it on. (I’ve read too little fan fiction to have been clued in on the joke without being enlightened but omfg just hilarious)

Then we get Jack as a fucking Cas-mirror again with “I like it. I like nougat.” (“I like emojis” and his literal way of communication just… omfg yes, because this Castiel is not the one coming back from the Empty. I believe we will get a more focused, BAMF Cas back who will have a mission and who will be completely dedicated to it, but he’ll still be Cas, with all the lessons he’s learned thus far.)

And we get Dean-mirror Clark (I’m sorry but his last name is Barker and… I mean, dogs bark and… there’s a whole lot of inference that can be made here but… okay just so amazing), who began the sequence at the police station with soft judgement of Jack’s sanity, to moving into assuming he’s high - and connecting with that behaviour - to now calling Jack “magic”. Such a Dean trajectory of rejection->acceptance. I raise my hands and applaud.

Jack is adorable. ^^^^

And here comes the angel radio and yes, absolutely, such a Dean and Cas first meeting callback that I almost want to lie down and cry and cry because just yessss please. All of the S4/S5 callbacks!! (all the callbacks) (from all over!!) (please)

And Sam tasers Jack in the back, which tells us electricity actually knocks this powerful being out cold and it must be linked to his humanity, right? (we’ll see if this is used by Dean)

17. Honesty

This is one of the most amazing scenes they could’ve given us this early on. This entire episode is telling us that this show is taking a turn for something wholly fresh, right? I mean, this is also Dean being so fucking done with putting on a performance - he does not CARE anymore - but it still sets the precedent for this season dealing with honesty and truthfulness and open fucking communication in completely new ways. *crossing fingers that it is so*

Sheriff: So what’re you, some kind of superhero? Dean: I’m just a guy doing a job.

Holy fucking hell does he not think of himself as a hero right now. He is so broken. Any semblance of a performance has left him. More than that, he is giving “the talk” in a completely straightforward way, and though it’s because every ounce of hope has left him, this is still an adult sat opposite that sheriff. Dean is all grown up.

Dean: So, Jack is a nephilim. He’s half-human, and half-angel. Angels are real, too.

HIS FAAAAAACE.

Crack goes my aching heart. Jensen Ackles breaks us every time!!

18. That’s Not His Name

This scene between Sam and Jack is golden in so many ways. Both Jared Padalecki and Alexander Calvert bring such heart to it. Dabb has written it with tension and moments of respite that create a fucking amazing flow and the exposition is just beautifully handled.

Also - Jack is one BAMF.

And Sam, though of course having a slightly ulterior motive for wanting to keep Jack on his side, is still able to relate to Jack on an emotional and intelligent level. (I’m not calling Dean stupid) (he’s spun out and just completely compromised by it at the moment is all)

Jack: I was scared, and when I get scared, things happen. I can’t stop them. Sam: Why were you scared? Jack: Because of the voices. They were so loud, so angry.

So, not a great first impression of Heaven, then. (yay!) Also, Jack’s fear informs the manifestation of his powers. But, there’s more. Jack switches mode from being on alert to sitting cross-legged and relaxing, surprising Sam by asking if he’ll tell “them I’m sorry.” Meaning the sheriff and Clark, of course.

Sam: Jack, how are you-…? How are we talking right now? I mean, you’re not even a day old, how do you speak English? Jack: My mother taught me. Sam: So you talked to her? Jack: I was her. Sam: Okay, and your… powers. Did she teach you those too or…? Jack: No, I… I don’t know why these things happen. It’s like I’m me, but not me. Sam: Jack. Look, before you were born you opened up a door to another world. Do you remember that? Jack: Yes. Sam: Okay, um, could you do that again? Jack: I don’t, I… I have to find my father. He’ll protect me. Sam: Jack, you gotta listen to me. That’s not really what Lucifer does. Jack: Lucifer? No, that’s not his name. My father is Castiel. Sam: What? Jack: My mother, she said Castiel, he would keep me safe. She said the world was a dangerous place. That’s why I couldn’t be a baby, or a child. That’s why I had to grow up fast. That’s why I chose him to be my father. Where is he? Sam: He’s dead.

Okay --> Holy Graal of Exposition.

So I read this as Jack not “talking” to Kelly meaning that he felt what she felt, he heard her thoughts - he was her, and she was him. 

How I interpret this scene is then that there’s a clear difference between:

Jack talking about his powers and appearing unsure

Jack talking about opening up that door, remembering it, and looking somewhere between disliking the memory and threatening pain if Sam pushes him further

Jack talking with ease and softness about Kelly 

This differences underline for me how much Jack loved his mother, his love informed by how much she loved him because he was her, he was kept safe in that love.

“It’s like I’m me, but not me” is extremely intriguing, however. This meta writer - and most meta writers I know - well, we’re pretty much assuming Jack will go bad at some point and this might be key to that switch. 

Perhaps Jack is the one under threat of control. I always figured he’d be manipulated (like Christ was tempted by Satan before being put on the cross) but what if this is why he needs protecting? He can’t control his powers and, if someone finds the key, his powers might end up controlling him, especially since he’s connected to everything (he heard the fucking universe scream) (I’m crossing fingers it’s Michael who gets his greasy paws on him) (it.would.be.so.amazing!!)

Jack remembers opening up the rift, but I maintain that if he’s not in control of his powers now, then he did not open up that rift intentionally.

However, he knows it was a bad thing to happen and whatever sensation is linked to it reminds him of his need for protection, reminds him of his mission to find his father. So the thought of the rift makes Jack immediately feel exposed, in need of protection and, most probably, guidance by his father.

Yeah, we screamed the bloody house down, you’d better believe it, at Jack actually fucking stating in dialogue that his father is Castiel, not Lucifer. 

I mean, Dabb is not pulling any punches here, naming Lucifer and having Jack reject him as his father figure - he flat out in episode one rejects his birth father - and stating that he has chosen his father, and his father is Castiel.

(there are candles burning right now) (candles of fragrance and love on my altar of worship)

My longer 12x19 meta is grounded in Kelly as the Good Mother and Cas as the Good Father Figure and as concepts they sound almost ridiculously archaic, but my point was that the narrative of 12x19 circles the theme of Good vs Evil through Cas/Dagon-Luci and Kelly/Dagon-Luci, as well as the theme of parenthood so prevalent throughout the entirety of S12. So to all of Jack’s declarations - hell yes and please and thank you!

And now his father figure and protector is dead. Jack isn’t too happy about that. He looks downright vengeful. (common ground with Dean…) (*crossing fingers*)

19. Frigging Angels

So, honesty saves the day and the sheriff is about to let them go without a fuss - to Sam’s astonishment. Yup, a whole new world, Sam.

Dean: So, let’s grab Damien here and find someplace quiet.

Dean is just going to literally kill this newborn being without any hesitation and without asking any questions based solely on the principle that anything non-human falls in the category of monster  and has to die. Okay, fine, Jack is the son of Lucifer but HELLO DEAN HELLO! WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ALL YOUR LESSONS!!??

Oh, right, this is a callback to the beginning so we’ll realise how far you’ve come. Okay, alright. What was it that began blurring those black and white lines between the good and the monstrous of the world again? 

…. Hmmmm, let me think. 

Oh, right, it was Castiel coming into his life. 

There is so much in season four, but the most prominent thing is this movement into focusing the question that has always been a part of the show: 

What makes a monster and what makes a man? (yes I’m quoting The Hunchback of Notre Dame) (shut up) 

And now we get to glimpse Dean as he was, so that when Cas comes back the contrast will be un-fucking-mistakable. (I’ve no doubt) (but disclaimer I could be wrong because that ^^^ is spec)

And Miriam makes her reappearance in this sequence! Restating:

Miriam: I don’t know what he’s told you. I mean, I can guess. Some line about how he and his brother “save the world”? Grr. So macho. But really, he’s not a hero. He’s Becky. You take things and break things and piss people off and just do whatever you want no matter who it hurts. Also, you’re a giant super-bitch. So yeah, you’re Becky. And Becky needs to die.

So, here - instead of the Elsa reference and a super-sensitive comment, Miriam calls out performing!Dean with her “Grr. So macho” line. And it ties in with how little macho manly man performance is left in Dean, because of what comes next: “You take things and break things and piss people off and do whatever you want no matter who it hurts.”

And his face tells us what?

He looks like he agrees with her. And he doesn’t even offer up the smallest protest. Because he knows she’s right, and that’s why he didn’t tell the sheriff that he and Sam save the world - he told her the exact opposite, downplaying their importance and making what they do sound like they’re part-time plumbers. He does not think of himself as a hero. Not at all.

The macho bravado of his toxic masculinity has slipped off him with all this loss. He’s thought of himself as Grr-so-Macho because it’s him as the hammer, it’s him on a mission, it’s him with a purpose, and he’s always put himself last, everyone else first, never thinking about himself - even saving Sam has usually meant putting his own life on the line, because Dean has never known who to be without his brother to protect - never expecting to have a future, and now, with the loss of Cas, he understands exactly how big a lie all of that has always been, because he’d started wanting more, had started hoping for more, and now that hope is gone.

There is no normal after watching the man you love die.

And what Miriam is still pushing on here, but even harder than across the roof of Baby, is the guilt of it all, as well as the forever burning thought in his head that he doesn’t deserve better, doesn’t deserve more, that this is what always happens because it’s what needs to happen - he’s one of the Becky’s of the world, selfish and reckless and this is what happens when you can’t work with others, when you can’t open up, when you can’t trust. And love is pain and has always been nothing but pain. There is no happy for Dean Winchester, not ever and good things just don’t happen to him. Or, at least, they don’t last.

But here’s the most epic fucking line ever spoken on this show: 

Becky needs to die.

The version of Dean with a poster on the wall and a bitchy attitude needs to go the fucking way of bye-bye. No more dual identity. No more Batman-superhero moments. 

It’s time to embrace change, Dean Winchester, and stop with the blame game and the guilt trip and allow this grief to take hold and allow it to evolve you into the type of man who, when the love of his life returns to him, will not hesitate to show him how much he means to him. *crossing fingerssss*

(Okay, there might be tentativeness and Thelma and Louise moments of awkwardly trying to suss out where he stands, but this time I hope that Dean will not be deterred by Cas’ deep frowns and questioning expressions, but rather Dean will step in there and dare to be himself and show Cas who he really is and that he wants to spend time with him. It’ll lay the foundation for Cas’ real transformation... But I’ll write another post about that.)

Also, Becky needs to die to make way, make way, for Team Free Will!

:P

So, now in this sequence of scenes we learn that Jack can’t be blasted away.

And Dean learns that Jack can’t bring Cas back. After Dean’s already prayed to Chuck for help and gotten no answer. So yeah. Ow.

Miriam: …Because Beiber in there, he can do almost anything. Dean: Anything? Miriam: Oh, sweet. Almost anything. Castiel - he’s dead. All the way dead. Because of you.

And she gets free by pressing her finger hard on that guilt button. 

Miriam stabs Jack with an angel blade - doesn’t kill him or even hurt him.

(Dean is mentally taking notes)

Speculation: I mean, it seems pretty probable that Dean is going to try and extract Jack’s grace, right? Somehow use that spell? For Dean it’d be a win-win if he gets to know and like Jack, because extracting the grace means no more nephilim power fucking up the world, but Jack gets to live. I just wonder if Dean will still be suspicious by the time Cas comes back and if this will be a source of external conflict between them. I think that could be fantastic, especially since Cas so expressly will come back on a mission to protect Jack.

20. The Bench

I mean COME ON DABB!! The callback to end all fucking callbacks when Cas, sat on a bench, professes he has questions and doubts and states that he’s not a hammer (he doesn’t WANT to be a weapon and omfg Cas I love you) and we get our first smile from him. Jesus Christ on a tortilla, that first glimmer of humanity. So delicious.

Sam wants to take Jack back to the bunker and Dean agrees. Sam is surprised.

Sam: So you… changed your mind? Dean: No. No, nothing’s changed. He’s still the Devil’s kid, he’s still evil, he still brainwashed Kelly and Cas, and even if he hasn’t gone Big Bad yet, he will. Sam: You don’t know that. Dean: Yeah, I do. Since when have things ever gone right for us? So until I figure out a way to end him, we bring him home. At least there the only people he can hurt are you and me.

So while Jack is sitting, pensive and Cas-like giving us a visual link to our first human moment with him, Dean is going on and on about his mistrust of Jack. Two conflicting messages and I Wendy I Wanda which one we’re meant to take to heart.

Thing is, we know more about Jack than Dean does at this point, and so does Sam. Sam doesn’t know one hundred percent how to handle Jack or how much of an allegiance they’ll have with him, but his compassion is real, and he’s seen Jack the way we’ve seen him.

Dean is wrong when he mistrusts Jack based solely on him being the son of the Devil - it’s narrow-minded and complete bullshit and not what this show is about. It’s a mindset the brothers have moved out of, which got them in trouble with the BMoL to begin with.

But Dean is right when he assumes Jack will go dark side. He will go Big Bad because it’s in the cards for him and for TFW. 

What gives me such a thrill of hope for the future is that Dean, in the first episode of the season, calls out his own lack of trust in anything ever going right for them. I hope the narrative is about to give us a slow series of events to prove him completely wrong. (but I could be wrong about that reading) (I would just love it and it falls in line with everything else they’re giving us) (oh believe me things will get dark and fucked up before they go right) (but I have faith that they will go right in the end)

What’s both horrible and good about him saying “At least there the only people he can hurt is you and me” is that, yes, it shows he really doesn’t give one fuck anymore about anything, even keeping Sam safe, but it also shows he doesn’t care about keeping Sam safe.

Sam just suggested that they bring Jack to the bunker and Dean is acknowledging Sam’s choice and allowing Sam to take his own responsibility for the consequences.

Smack down brodependency. Brodependency SMACK DOWN.

Die Becky die die die!! ;)

(I know there was a character on this show named Becky but I’m sure there are miles of thoughts on her and how Dabb choosing that name so very specifically might just be a not so subtle pointer to stuff so I’ll do a reblog of that topic instead)

Sam also clearly realises how low Dean actually is. He wants to say something, but Dean gets up and it’s time to go.

21. Lake House

Back at the lake house (can’t get over how Baby is so incredibly dirty and so miserable) (aw Dean) Sam tries to coax Dean into waiting to burn Cas, instil some tiny sliver of hope in him, suggesting they pray to Chuck, and Dean bites off “Don’t you think I’ve tried that” and I think we collectively fell into a heap of feels. Seriously, this was a clutch each other and hold on for dear life moment.

Dean fucking praying to God. Which we’d already heard him doing in the teaser they released, but still! Here it is!!

I can’t attack this scene in less than half a page. There is so much here. There is so much pain and need and anger and he even begs him. Twice. Dean begins with saying “I need your help” and moves into “us” when he accuses God for up and leaving them. But it’s ok - the bunching himself together with Sam - because it’s needed here. Dean’s praying for the both of them, for everything they’ve lost.

And oh did I mention earlier a lens flare to end all lens flares? Well, what do you know? They give us ANOTHER ONE! A fucking rainbow. And rainbows in this narrative - as far as I know and as far as this visual underlines - are completely linked to God. 

The fact that the scene is entirely framed by how it’s time to burn Cas’ body makes the prayer - for Dean - take on a whole new meaning, no matter that he’s praying for both himself and Sam.

“We’ve lost everything. And now you’re gonna bring him back.”

Are you... serious, Dabb?? (he is) (he so clearly is)

The flashback ends and Dean tells Sam “God’s not listening. He doesn’t give a damn.”

But he clearly does give a damn. His sign is right there in a visual plant!

And we all went, ohhhh. Will Chuck make an appearance in the Empty? It does make the most sense, tbh. Cas is in the fucking Empty, for crying out loud, from whence there is absolutely no return. So God appearing because his grandson needs a Guardian, a guardian said grandson himself has chosen, kinda makes sense, because who else can restore Cas’ burned out grace and send him back? But we’ll see! Cas might still meet himself in the Empty, tbh, with Chuck there. Either way, it seems the most logical that Cas will get to make a choice. Or will he? .... We’ll know in a few weeks!! :P

22. Kelly

Jack says goodbye to his mother, placing a hand delicately on her feet and it’s such a beautiful sign of respect and I’d look up the deeper meaning if I wasn’t already twelve pages into this meta. I’ll reblog and reblog gifs with reams of intriguing tidbits, I’ve no doubt! Such a gorgeous visual and, to me, underlining of how Jack truly loved his mother. (as ever, the artwork on the wall as Jack enters the room is eye-catching and those stormy seas with the sunlight breaking through dark clouds give me good feels, must say)

23. Cas

Yes. I cry. And I cry. And we all cry at this scene. I didn’t cry the first time around, I was way too overwhelmed by amazement that we even got this incredible visual and Jensen giving us one of those subtle, heart wrenching moment-upon-moments that is just… There are no words. What can I say about this scene that hasn’t already been said?

Dean steps in through that door almost as though he’s questioning if Cas will be there, leading with his head, not wanting to hope, but hoping all the same because every other time… But there’s the sheet, and there’s Cas underneath it. And the wide angle shot is so beautiful. Dean sighs. Like he’s been holding his breath with the hope and now… gone. No more. And he looks away, because it’s just too much. And then he looks, and it’s real and all of it is just so damn visceral. FUCK. And when Dean almost breaks down. When he has to stop, like he has that pain in his chest that makes you feel like your ribs are caving in… and he closes his eyes and he bends his head before he looks up at Cas again… And he knows he will be the one to wrap Cas’ body, there are no two ways around it, and he does it and it’s just... FUCK!

24. Pyre

They burn Cas and Kelly at sundown. Yes, so fitting. And Sam teaches Jack about how humans say goodbye. Also so fitting. And Dean says goodbye and we all just want to lie on a pyre as well. Sam says that they don’t know if Mary’s dead, and Dean says that yes they do, linking back to his nightmare at the beginning of the episode.

To him, Mary is gone, and he doesn’t even feel the urge to try to fight to bring her home, to find a way. I’ve mentioned it before, but his line “No matter how much it hurts, no matter how hard it gets - you gotta keep grinding” when he and Sam were hunting for Cas lends this such weight. 

Dean has never been here before. 

He’s a fighter, but now the fight has gone out of him, and he may keep grinding for the sake of it, but hoping that the grinding will lead somewhere good is done and dusted. At least according to Singer, who said Dean will carry on doing the job but will suffer bouts of “inertia” - which is another word for apathy, which is wholly connected to depression. I am just so fucking HAPPY!! *sadism*

The way the pyre is reflected in Dean’s pupils. Yeah. Fuck you, Phil Sgriccia!! <3

25. The Devil You Know

Mary and Lucifer in the AU will be interesting. I love that they might have to try and survive together and that Lucifer sees the potential in keeping her alive. Again, there’s that visual link between Dean and Mary with the cut on their bottom lip and I’m really looking forward to seeing how they’ll use it and if they use it and when and why and how! Oh, but wait - Lucifer has a cut in the exact same spot as well. Curiouser and curiouser. 

Final comments: I mean, what more could we want from this episode? I don’t think we could want anything more from this episode. Balls out with the love story because Dean’s entire appearance in this episode have to do with Cas, brodependency barely existent anymore, Jack is fucking perfection, all out orgasmic setup for what’s to come this season and the intimate moments that give us so much character are, as ever, to simply die for. I can’t wait for this week’s episode. OMFG WE HAVE A NEW EPISODE IN LESS THAN A WEEK! THIS IS WHAT LIFE IS LIKE NOW! CONGRATULATIONS - WE SURVIVED HELLATUS!! Now we just have to keep from biting our nails down between each new instalment. :P

Next time I’ll do a pure gif-post. Thanks for sticking with me throughout another long ass meta! ;D

[daxterdd]

wtf, voltron

for the first time, i am glad that they ended up splitting this season so that s3 can remain a season of joy and happiness without the taint of s4 hanging over it.

not a fan of so, so many choices within these six episodes. 

like i like that Shiro is back in the black lion, but both of my lion/paladin otps (keith/red and lance/blue) are still out of sorts

and they didn’t do anything to explain black’s distrust of him last season after having literally only had Keith as a paladin for a week. like the showrunners have said that black picked keith because she knew what shiro saw in him. so shiro was still the key there??? and what was the point of having her shut shiro out just to backtrack so quickly??? it still doesn’t make sense, and yea the clone thing might definitely be a thing. but they did not touch on that at ALL, so it seems like that was a waste of time.

if keith running off with the blade of marmora was their half-assed way to keep shiro and keith apart so he could ~grow~ as a leader, or whatever the point of their conflict was supposed to be, then he should have gotten some kind of plot with the blades and not just disappeared for several episodes. i wouldn’t have minded keith being with the blade if they had 1) used it as a chance to give us some backstory and fucking introspection on his mother and 2) resolved it so that it’s not still a giant dangling plot thread we have to deal with at least through this hiatus, if not also into next season.

i don’t like lotor and i don’t trust him in the slightest. i seriously object to him joining the coalition and being the “new defender.” 

it doesn’t feel like we got any payoff to the plot points in s3. it just introduced a whole bunch of new shit, which is super frustrating.

honestly the galra plots as a whole were super confusing and i’m still not sure what’s happening. lotor knows honerva was his mom but not that haggar is honerva. zarkon seems to know lotor but not his wife?? why is lotor suddenly taking over the role of “object of zarkon’s hyperfixation” when it has literally been voltron for 10,000 years? i can’t believe he thinks lotor is that much of a threat, trans-reality comet or not.

i realize the filler space mall/bug-head coran episode was planned when the season was intended to be longer, but it really felt so jarring to have such an obvious fourth-wall breaking filler in such a short season. especially since the show isn’t halfway over yet. side note, though. i wonder if the crazy bughead coran voice was the one they got jeremy to do. because it did not sounds like Rhys at alllllll.

on the bright side, allura and lance both had some great moments this season. both got quality lolz -- like the kaltenecker scene, and moving stuff -- like the pep talk at the end. very sweet, even if it would have been nicer for allura to come to the realization of her power/ability on her own, without needing someone else to tell her.

also loved allura’s broadcast to the coalition members. it’s always nice when the show remembers that she’s the goddamn princess.

and really, i’m gonna need keith back with his team asap, but maybe now people will at least stop bitching about him taking over the show.

i’m sure i have more shit i didn’t like, but it’s almost 5am here and I can’t think anymore. not like anyone but waltzy is gonna read this anyway.

i do hope the klance fandom comes through with some good fixit fic for this hot mess of a season, despite the utter lack of any interaction between them.

[state-of-divinity]

My Takeaways from VLD S4 (spoilers, duh)

I’ve only watched S4 through once, and I’ll probably watch it at least a dozen more times before S5, but here are my initial thoughts fresh from watching and internalizing (it’s a bit long, sorry):

Keith joined BoM “full-time” because he felt like Voltron wasn’t making as many strides in the war as BoM. To him, BoM were having a bigger impact because of their continual missions. Voltron admittedly is weighed down because of their diplomatic position. Voltron is a public figure, a “Symbol of Peace” to the entire universe, and therefore the team has a duty to keep up appearances and do PR gigs. It’s not fancy or thrilling, but that’s part of what being a leader is. BoM is not public; they have no duty to anyone, meaning they have free range to do whatever they want whenever they want. The freedom BoM has is definitely more appealing to Keith, due to his impulsive nature, and that is understandable for his character.

On the other hand, Keith’s selfishness had a big impact on the team’s dynamic. Even though in S1 Keith yelled at Pidge for wanting to leave the team initially, he did the same in S4, and Shiro even encouraged it (loosely). I’ve seen a lot of people talk about Keith’s lack of desire to be the leader, especially since Shiro returned, and he wants to distance himself to prevent himself from being hurt by them. We’ve seen Keith in situations where he has to be diplomatic, and he doesn’t do a good job. Admittedly, he fits the dynamic of BoM better, but you can tell it hurts him to leave Team Voltron behind. I think once he took on piloting the black lion, he has lost his sense of belonging on the team. After many failed missions as the leader, I think Keith no longer feels he has a place on the team, and is afraid others feel the same.

Lance and Allura had some really good moments (albeit few) and I don’t think the creators are trying to be subtle with their plans of making them a couple. Even though Lance acknowledges his role as the “Loverboy,” his respect for Allura just as a person in general has grown ever since she became a paladin. Lance is naturally good at realizing and pointing out the potential in others, which would make sense why he was the one who helped Allura find her power on Naxzela. Obviously Lance has a crush on Allura, but I think his maturing and her being more comfortable around the paladins is setting up for some romantic event.

But fear not klance shippers! I still think there is some evidence to suggest romantic feelings between Keith and Lance (though we don’t see much of that this season, sorry). I personally feel they’re gonna pull a LoK and have Lance have a heterosexual relationship with a team member for a bit, but their relationship will fizzle out (Allura takes her responsibilities as a princess and a paladin too seriously to think of a relationship) and later we may see glimpses of a homosexual relationship (Keith returns from BoM and realizes how much he missed Lance?). Regardless of your ship preferences, this is how I’ve viewed canon.

The Voltron PR events kind of annoyed me, but they were admittedly amusing. They also showcase a part of war that no one really thinks about - you have to recruit allies, and no one wants to listen to a boring speech. I think these events were a big part of this season to highlight what it is about Voltron that made Keith want to leave. This is the part of being Voltron he didn’t like, and that was a lot of what they were doing.

Lotor is badass, I’ll admit it. And also ruthless like his father (which I don’t think he realizes). If he “joins the good side” so to speak, then his one season of being the new bad guy seems pretty pointless to me. I don’t think he really has had his chance to shine as an alternative bad guy to Zarkon, but he clearly does not like his father. I have my doubts he’s willing to give up on ruling the universe just so he can defeat his father. He may join their team next season, but he’s definitely still a villain.

And his generals?? Honestly I don’t know where they stand now, but I don’t see them getting far without Lotor. My guess is they’ll have a reunion and share apologizes, but those women are so BA I don’t want them to leave.

Alright, let’s just fangirl about Matt Holt for a sec. First of all, the Holt sibling reunion was everything I wanted and more. Pidge is so adorable showing off to her brother, and he’s like the most supportive brother ever??? Also Matt is a huge, dorky nerd and even more socially awkward than his sister which is so cute. He’s an awesome character, and I hope he sticks around. Even though I really enjoyed the Voltron team dynamic this season, I do hope Keith returns.

AND ALSO about Matt’s scene of meeting Allura for the first time.... I’ve seen some people upset that Matt is being introduced as a new love interest for Allura but like?? Clearly that scene was meant to highlight two things: 1) Allura is the most beautiful goddess to ever exist because like EVERYONE is awed by her beauty when they meet her, and 2) Matt is a dork. Like, literally, that scene was just to exemplify Matt’s personality, I highly doubt there will be any romantic scenes between Matt and Allura.

I felt this season didn’t really mention much from the previous season, which I can kind of understand seeing as S3 and S4 are really just one season broken up into two distinct sections. I was hoping more would be explained about Shiro’s escape and “Operation Kuron,” but clearly there is a lot about the Galra Empire we don’t know, especially when it comes to Zarkon and Honerva. They might be saving this information for a later time for a more shocking reveal.

Unfortunately, I think this season was a lot of filler, which I don’t necessarily mind, especially since I didn’t have to wait long between S3 and S4. I laughed quite a bit, almost lost my shit more than a bit, and overall am pleased with the content I’ve been given. I’m definitely gonna rewatch it more to see if I missed anything.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Just random queastions. 1.) Do you think, that they maybe changed their mind after the reaction to the withanaccent-interview and felt so insulted, that they decided, to not make Johnlock canon after all? 2.) The tarmac-scene has some big similaritis to a scene in DW (don´t know what to say; question about the future; last chance to say "it") and is just built up like a love confession-scene. Do you think that maybe TPTB didn´t notice this? Or really thought it was funny? I´m so confused... tbc

3.)Benedict seems to be such a nice person (I love Martin even more, but he is not so outwardly caring.) etc. and i just can´t imagine him agreeing to queerbaiting? (I find most of "TJLC-Evidence" not very convincing, because I would also die etc. for a friend, but the tarmac-scene is imo queerbaiting/almost love confession. They HAVE TO notice what the scene implies!?). 4.)They always say it is their show etc. and that they don´t care about critics, do they really think of themself as SO GOOD?

5.) They said, that ACD did a mistake with Mary. Why do they do the same? I completly hate that dog-comperison/Mary-is-better-scene (TST is my least favoruite episode). It had to be a active descision to give Mary the narration over John ( THE ACTUAL NARRATOR!). They can´t just ignore all the terrible things they say about Mary and make her some angel asassian who saves John/Sherlock and is better than everyone?! And she is there the WHOLE TIME! She killed Sherlock! Why? Why? Why? For Amanda???

6.) There is that Amanda Abbington-Interview where she talks about coming back. Do you really thing that we´ll maybe have to see Mary-flashbacks/callbacks in every new episode? 7.) Prior to season 4, they said that they have 3 new cases etc., but in the end it wasn´t really like in season 1-2 (season 3 actually was my favorite season, but it clearly was different). TST and TFP ended in family drama. Do you trust them to go back to "normal" cases, without the need to over complicate everything?

8.)Do you think, that they maybe change their mind "pro-johnlock"(if it really was just a joke to them), after critics like Indiewire etc. called them out for the queerbaiting/John and Sherlocks feelings for eachother? That maybe they´ll realize that it´s not just "teenager girls" "hallucinating"? 9.)Do you believe in a season 5 (especially with BC as DS now)? 10.)Will we ever know, what John wanted to say in TRF? 11.)With TFP i wonder,do they truly believe we watch the show for the plot twists?

Oh Wow, Lots of stuff to get to here! Let’s have a look-see!

Well, that interview would have had nothing to do with any of their decisions; if a journalist had that kind of power in the history of Sherlock ever, then it would have been canon in S2, or ahdblock been canon in S3, or sher/0//ie canon in episode one. Like... no, and that interview was garbage anyway. Anything that Mofftiss have done, is COMPLETELY on them and MAYBE the BBC. They were already filming TFP, I believe, around that time frame, so no, it had no bearing whatsoever on the outcome of the series.

Ah, yup, Doomsday’s Bad Wolf Bay and the tarmac scene are pretty much identical (and just as painful), yet no one argues what The Doctor was going to say. But years later, we STILL have to prove to people that Sherlock indeed was going to and did tell John that he loved him. It drives me crazy. Mofftiss knew EXACTLY what they were doing, especially since the scene has parallels to the tarmac scene’s unspoken love in Casablanca. They did it on purpose; it’s even framed similarily to that tarmac, and the wording similar to Bad Wolf Bay. Just... They can’t seriously expect us to not believe it wasn’t meant romantically.

Well, to be fair, I don’t think EITHER OF THEM wanted to be part of a giant queerbaiting fest. They both seemed immensely proud of their portrayals of their characters, Ben AND Martin played both of their characters gay and bi respectively, and BOTH men support LGBT causes and Ben is vocal against homophobia (I’m pretty sure Martin is as well, I just know Ben’s interviews better). I really honestly believe that they thought they were creating something different and were led to believe a different outcome of their character arcs than what we got. I don’t fault them at all – they are just puppets for the puppetmasters.

Oh, they’re lying so hard about their lack of caring... If they didn’t care, Gattiss wouldn’t have written back, in prose, to a critic and Moffat wouldn’t be like “I don’t understand why no one likes this season” (paraphrasing, of course, but his blasé attitude is SO annoying and pretentious). Neither of them have really, otherwise, done anything but remain in hiding after the fallout of S4. It’s both suspicious and really REALLY annoyingly petty.

Yeah, I STILL am reeling over their complete 180˚ of Mary’s character. It makes no fucking sense; they clearly were combining her character with that of the role of Sebastian Moran in ACD canon, and the arc was going to be brilliant. I have a lot of personal very biased opinions on why they did it, but yeah, it doesn’t make any fucking sense. THEY KNEW WHAT THEY WERE DOING with her character. That and Moffat is terrible at writing women characters at the end of their arcs. If anything, her character was just unnecessarily shoehorned into a bigger role because they decided last minute to NOT make her Moran after all even though they STILL tied her character to Moriarty in S4. ACD did WAY better with Mary as a background character. And YES, it was SO WRONG of her to be the narrator, just... NO she’s NOT the one telling the stories. Ugh.

Ugh, is there? Okay, look, IF – IFFFFF –  it’s shown in S5 that all of S4 was a ruse orchestrated by mostly her hand, reverting her character back to where it should be, THEN maybe I can accept her back in the fifth season and make her the badass villain she was SUPPOSED to be. I don’t believe she is dead because her gunshot was fake af, although I do ALSO believe that she may have been killed John in the false narrative scenario. If she comes back, it will be to explain her true actions in S4. Otherwise, she’s dead, we don’t need to see her anymore. Flashbacks maybe, but that’s it.

S3 was my favourite season too, but I think that’s a personal bias because I love Sherlock’s character so much and I loved seeing how far their relationship arc progressed. T6T and TLD barely even HAD cases... and TFP, I don’t know her... so I don’t know where this idea came from. The whole season seemed intent on keeping John and Sherlock as distant from each other as possible, making Sherlock the sidekick TO MARY in his own show, and putting “no one asked for this” focus on Mary. Look, I know it sounds like I hate her, but I REALLY DON’T. I hate what they DID TO HER CHARACTER, and trying to call S4 a case-centred series when CLEARLY the case was a moot point in the first episode to Mary-backstory, it’s ridiculous. There wasn’t really a case in TLD – Sherlock was high off his rocker through most of the episode and Culverton did his weird creepy rapey thing. And I don’t even know what the fuck case was happening in TFP. I WANT to trust them to go back to Just The Two of Them Against the Rest of the World (what was that line even, then?!?!), but I fear that they won’t and will find a way to shoehorn another character-we-don’t-care-about *coughs* Eurus*coughs* into the story.

Oh, I don’t think anyone could change Mofftiss’ minds. Look, if Johnlock DOES become canon, it will be because it was the plan all along, but because of how far S4 strayed off the narrative arc, it will look like they did it because of public outcry, NOT because it was their brilliant plan. They should have just stuck to the narrative rather than try for a publicity stunt that will probably work against them in the end.

Tough to say about S5. There are reports about it being already commissioned, but I fear the negative reception may keep Martin and Ben far away from it if it turns out it really is a face-value series. I don’t know. BBC seems proud of what they got, so probably will get one. It’s one of the BBC’s top-rated shows (I think pre-S4 it was higher than Dr. Who), so who knows.

Hahaha nope, I don’t think so. I USED to think we would, that Mofftiss were better writers together and would at least round out all the plot holes, but... S4 leaves me skeptical on a lot of things.

I REALLY do think that they think we like the plot twists rather than the stories. Like... no. People were watching for the relationship, whether they knew it or not, platonic or not. The story of two men with the greatest friendship / relationship of all time. Not for ... whatever the hell TFP was.

Whew! 

[mittensmorgul]

did you think anything of how emphatically Claire said "screw you" to Sam after his whole Toni Bevell encounter? it's sorta flipped but still Sam vs Very Opinionated Blonde

unplanned part 2 of Claire and Toni ask: Seeing a gifset of that scene has reminded me: all of that dialogue applies, not just the screw you. It's the 'You think you can just drop into my life and pretend you care?' 'We do care' part that really seems like the Bmol this season

Isn’t it amazing how part 2 can just hit you out of nowhere like that? :P

(seriously this is the inside of my brain, there’s unplanned part 2′s all over the place)

That’s a weird parallel here, especially since Claire was essentially in Sam’s role here...

And now Sam’s signed on with the BMoL...

What I found creepily ironic was I’ve seen a number of posts of Dean “calling out” Mick for being repressed, because lol Dean’s so repressed... (even though we’ve seen him very much changed lately. He at least is self-aware about it, anyway)

While Sam had this exchange with Claire, which paralleled them even more than the screw you did...:

Sam: Claire, why does Jody think you’re in Madison looking at colleges?Claire: You called her?Sam: *nods*Claire: Did you tell?Sam: No. Not yet. But why are you lying to her?Claire: Look, I... I know, okay? I know how much I owe Jody. But we tried the whole hunting thing. I just end up sitting in the car while she does everything.Sam: I guess she’s taking it slow.Claire: She wants me to be normal. Go to nursing school like Alex.Sam: Did she actually say that?Claire: She doesn’t have to. I’m better off on my own. This way everybody’s happy.Sam: Claire, Jody’s not gonna be happy when she finds out, and if something happened to you--Claire: I’m careful!Sam: You need to tell her the truth.Claire: You know what? Screw you. I’m so sick of you guys divebombing my life, pretending like you care--Sam: We do care.Claire: Then stop treating me like a stupid kid!Sam: Then stop acting like one.

And wowie is that short conversation a freaking meta GOLDMINE. I’d actually been meaning to write something up on it, because whoa nelly there’s a lot of subtext at work here.

I should probably make a numbered list or something.

1. First of all, Sam is calling her out ON LYING TO HER LOVED ONES. I mean... *raises eyebrow at Sam and mutters platitudes about casting the first stone and maybe checking that plank in your own eye...* I mean he’s 100% right here, but hypocrite much, Sam? When you’re still hiding some majorly sketchy truths about the BMoL from Dean? Like maybe everything involving the Colt? Yeah. >.>

2. Madison. Claire told Jody she was gonna be in Madison. While working a werewolf case. With Sam Winchester. Who’s about to have some MAJORLY BAD FLASHBACKS to Madison, the werewolf he couldn’t save and ended up having to kill waaaay back in 2.17.  Good thing Claire didn’t end up the same way Madison did...

3. All this college talk this season, from Mary wishing Sam could go back to college in 12.14 all the way back to her learning that Sam had dropped out of Stanford to avenge her death... Claire has already made up her mind that she DOESN’T want that life for herself. She CHOSE hunting for herself. Like Sam and Dean have. Nobody else has the right to make those sorts of choices for her. It’s her life. She gets all the votes. (freaking good for her)

4. Everyone’s happy this way. Just like Sam thought Dean was “happy” in 12.11. Just like Sam probably thinks Dean’s happier not knowing about the Colt Drama now. Lying, or just hiding the truth, never makes people happy in the long run.

5. The Screw You. The situation Sam was in at Toni’s mercy at the beginning of the season took away all his power to consent. It was rape, just like what happened to Claire in 12.16. Unlike with Sam, Claire had her agency returned to her, she wasn’t silenced or blamed, and even up to the last moment before Dean injected her with the risky cure, he confirmed that it was what she really wanted. Sam never got that.

But Sam has drunk the BMoL kool aid, or at least he thinks he’s got the situation under control.

(hint: he in no way has the situation under control)

He’s acting almost as sketchily as the BMoL regulars in the way he’s treated Dean over the last few episodes. And it was great to see Sam lash out against Mick over the fact he’d killed Hayden, but he still really needs to come clean to Dean. I think Sam’s just too intrigued by the scholarly aspect of the BMoL to want to cut ties, and he KNOWS Dean would override that decision if he knew the full truth.

Just like back in s4, regarding working with Ruby and using his powers and drinking demon blood...

Their entire conversation at the beginning of 4.04 could work for this exact situation too... slippery slopes, man. And Sam’s too caught up on the idea of doing something “good” even if the means and methods are abominable.

[flinnybillymoonexplosion]

Still too many fucking questions

So, once Black Sails is over, and once whe know how it ends, I still have some questions about the show.

First one: Why did Billy end up alone in that Island and how is he going to do to get out of there?

We know that in TI Billy is Jim Hawkins’ inn and that all his crewmates (well maybe they are not his truly crewmates cause they all died during the whole BS) are looking for him just to give him the black spot. I know that is supposed to pass like 20 years from BS end to TI, but seriously, why did they leave Billy stranded in Skeleton Island? Is he marooned there? Wasn’t it Ben Gunn the one being marooned in TI? Then, why is he with Hands and Flint when they arrive to Savanna? Is he in Silver’s crew? Did he just give his back to his only friend?? yeah, the one that he followed in the resistance and the one he freed and also the one that missed a shot at him?? Really? ok

The second one: Why did they make Flint gay in Black Sails?

Here I can understand and see different reason for that. The show in the end talks about the outcasts, the ones who are left for monsters and who civilization wants to extermine. Showing gay and queer characters represent that part of the history that the history itself tried to erase. These people existed and fought for their rights as well as we are doing it now a days. The only difference is that what we know from them are all stories, not the HISTORY (yeah in capitall letters), and that’s why this show is amazing, cause they focus in those micronarratives to build a pice of reality, using fictional characters as well as real life characters to represent that scene and those lifes. Because this is a metanarrive show, they are explaining how society worked in a concrete epoc and how it was lived by the ones who where left out of that same society. Even though my questions has been explained trought this text, I still can’t see clearly why the BS writers made Flint gay.

I thought that the main reason behind that was Billy and Flint’s relationship. For real. Why? Cause when I used to see Muppet TI or read TI it self, I always had a strange feeling towards Billy. He’s a drunk old man, too noisy and too rude, who created a debt in the inn he’s in cause all he does is drink, eat, and fight whoever faces him and therefore brake everything he’d find in his way. But at the same time, he’s not that bad. He’s just a scared and paranoid man, who at the end of his live gives little Jim the map and mentions that Flint gave it to him when he was about to die in his own bed, just the same way Jim’s at Billy’s bed at that time. When he’s drunk he tells old pirate stories and he is clearly proud of being old Flint’s first mate. My inner child and me always thought that Billy had a platonic kind of love for Flint in TI.

So, my question here is: why was TIBilly so proud of being Flint’s first mate if, at the end of BS, Billy is left alone in the island and Flint is back with Thomas? Why was TIBilly so proud of his captain if in BS he’s been betrayed by everyone he knew and cared about (including his captain)? And why did BSBilly end up trying to kill Flint when all the previous scenes were telling us the opposite (I mean, Billy’s face in 4x05 when he’s waiting for Flint to come out of the fort, is not his “I hate Flint” face; or when he shoots the one Flint’s trying to help out of the water instead of pointing directly at Flint)? Or why doesn’t Billy punch Flint in the face anytime he had the chance to do so??  And, related to TI, why does Billy see Flint’s ghost when he’s sober?? Could it be a consequence of being marooned in Skeleton Island? Or because he feels sorry for what he did to him?? But what could he do to Flint to feel so bad and sad about it? Betray him with Rogers?? No! Cause he had all the right to be mad at them and wanting them to pay for everything they did to him.

This leads me to the next question: Why didn’t Billy tell that he stole and defeated Flint in TI in his drunker and rude stories?

I mean, if Billy really hated and wanted to get rid of Flint in BS, it would make sense if TI Billy was braggig about it and how he fooled Flint or how he manage to get them all (the Roger’s men and the Walrus) to Skeleton Island and then how he’d get he map and the chest. Cause TISilver brags about him being the only pirate Flint really was afraid of, and that makes him badass, and even makes fun of him naming his female parrot Flint (another reason to make Flint gay?). But if Billy really had hated Flint or killed him or stole the map from him, he would had been even more badass than Silver, and he could had been even prouder than him. But TIBilly doesn’t say that, he’s just proud of being part of the Walrus crew. And my question is, why?? I mean, if Billy was still feeling hatred againts his brothers and wanted to keep the money for him in revange to their betrayal, he would had said it, right? I mean, that would become him into a very dark character in the book, and not a pathetic old drunk man...

When Billy dies in TI, Jim finds a chest with money and coins. Billy had them with him all that time in the inn. He didn’t waste anything from it. He kept it. He didn’t even brag about it, nor the map. He just tells at the end that Flint gave it to him. This only leads me to metalotage. Yeah, that shit was true in piracy, so why hadn’t we been introduced to that in BS? And, why would the metalotage make sense in Billy and Flint’s relationship?  Because, in my opinion, that could be the main reason behind Billy keeping the map and that chest and not wasting it nor saying nothing about it. And because Billy has always been the apple of Flint eyes in BS. We only have to pay attention to their interactions and the way Billy always gets aways with all the things he screws up in BS. Flint is never mad at him, he’s pleased at them. Flint always teases Billy and the later gets annoyed by it, but at the same time he’s genuinly fascinated by Flint. This and the lack of communication they have during the show, can lead Billy to hate Flint. I mean, hate is not the opposite if love. The opposite of love is indifference, and Billy is anything but indifferent to Flint. In fact almost all of his scenes in BS are related to Flint and he never has had sex in the show. That makes him an asexual character, or a character that hasn’t had the parter he really wanted (AKA Flint). So, that’s always been my main reason the ship them. I thougt that making Flint gay and Billy asexual or not interested in visiting the whores in BS would lead us to an outcome where Flint and Billy would end up together as TI says.

And last but not least: Why did Thomas had a beard?

I know he had to change from what he looked in London cause it’s being 10 years since they last saw each other. And I know that his characterization is like that cause now he’s another man, he works the ground and in a sense he’s no longer the camp man with wigs that made Flint fall in love at first sight. But the beard?? What’s going on in BS this last season, didn’t they get money for blades?

When I saw Thomas in 2x01, I couldn’t believe how phisically similar he was to Billy (or how similar was Billy to Thomas). But when in 4x10 Thomas turned his head, and showed his face, I was like... “wait, I know that this is Thomas, but that beard... he look’s  just like Billy this season!” for a moment I thought about the possibility of being Billy and not Thomas (yeah, I’m pathetic). But no, it was Thomas, and even though I was happy for a happy ending for Flint (believe me, I truly was), my mind was worried about another person... yeah, Billy “my poor little chicken without head” Bones.

His last scene with Flint in s4 is when he falls from the rig. It’s just a fucking paralell to 1x06 when he falls overboard. I think we all know that when Billy “dies” everything goes to shit in Flint’s world. He has a mutiny againts him, and kills his best friend on the way. And when he starts to gain back his power and finds a new partner (yeah Silver), he has those flashbacks with Thomas.  I feel like in this last chapter they did just the same kind of transition from Billy and Flint’s definitve break up to Thomas and Flint’s reunion. Billy had to dessappear in order to appear Thomas. He went back to the sea, but he survived, as well as he did in previous seasons. And Flint gets back to Thomas, but in this case it is shown as if it was in real life. But that’s not how I interpretated, cause that’s what Silver told us. Is just a story told by someone who chose to tell it that way and not in another way. The season2 flashback scenes are in colour, as if it was treated like the present scenes. The dreams Flint had in season3 where B/W. And the Silver’s flashbacks or memories are in another tone, some are kinda blue, and some are kinda sepia. the visual is another way of telling us about whats going on. Here I am not saying that Thomas and Flint’s reunion wasn’t true, nor that Silver killed Flint. What I am trying to do is give sense to this loose end, cause I can’t believe they leaved this so open for nothing.

After all, as so many people has said, BS is just a fanfiction of TI, so they had all the rights to represent their persepective of the book the way they wanted. But if they say that the show is a precuel of the book, why did they do this to Billy? Where does his relationship with Flint come to good ends after the show? Cause it seems that there’s no much place for Billy beside his captain anymore. Also, Billy is the one who introduces Flint in the book, not Silver, and Billy is the one who Hands and Silver’s men say to be very similar to Flint. They also laugh about it, telling about their killing tecniques and how raw the both men were.

And why didn’t they had a proper talk in BS? Was it so difficult to sit them and make them speak their minds about each other? Where would that had lead us? Was it so difficult for Starz to make this two “alpha” males crazy for each other? To make them explain what they truly felt for each other? I think it was. I think that it was easyer for them to remove the past, rather than open up a new relationship that’s being build during the 4 season between two manly man who always seemed to hate each other but always end up saving each others lifes. Yeah! It’s a pity, but that’s what I think! I’m not saying that bringing Thomas back was the easy way. But the fact that they brought someone from the past, who’s coming back makes sense to his character’s plot (except for all the homophobic audience in BS who seemed to be watching other show), is easier to explain and to witness than bringing this new dinamic into Flint and Billy’s relationship and having to explain it to the audience that hasn’t been paying attention to it. That’s all.

But as I’ve always said, I know nothing and thus, I never will. This are my ultimate thoughts about the show, I wanted to write them to get rid of them, as always. So thank you for reading them if you made it up to here.