#seriously though I’m not buying his messiah act

[emwallas176]

Episode 4x09 of Smallville was genuinely so confusing. Not only was the cold open so traumatizing but then the moral gymnastics that happens for the rest of the episode (and onward) is so confounding.

So the whole premise of the episode is that Lex sleeps around so much that he can’t even remember the names and faces of the women he sleeps with. Strange and concerning on multiple levels. Even if this was completely in character (which I don’t think it is), it is still highly concerning to forget the names and faces of people you’ve been intimate with. I think they said 13 women in the last year. While that’s not a low number, I don’t think it’s high enough to cause such forgetfulness. Therefore it almost seems to imply that there’s a level of disassociation that happens on Lex’s part during the experience (you can’t form new memories if you weren’t really paying attention when they happened). This theory is also backed up by the fact that Lex admits at the end of the episode that he has suicidal thoughts, and (very) unattached sex could be a negative coping mechanism for these dark emotions. As we can see at the start of the episode, Lex looks sad and completely alone at the event. And immediately after that he jumps into bed with someone. There’s clearly a connection there (at least in my mind).

All of the above, however, is not what confuses me. It’s the other characters that I don’t understand. First you have Clark who comes in (as seems to be becoming his pattern) guns blazing and accusatory. Of course this might be warranted seeing as Lex has been quite soundly framed for murder but I digress. During their talk and with what he finds out later, Clark gets very up in arms about Lex having sex with a lot of women. Despite whether this is right or wrong of him to do, it makes absolutely no sense for why it would drive Clark into LIONEL’S arms. Especially bc Lionel admits later on that Lex learned the behavior (sleeping with women and leaving them with a pair of diamond earrings) from Lionel himself?? Like it’s bad and dishonest if Lex does it but apparently makes Lionel trustworthy?? I’m confused. Also! Let’s not forget the fact that Lionel slept with another woman while his wife was DYING! But sure, Lex is the sexually deviant one. Sure.

Also, I feel like there is a lot of disconnect between how Lex and Alicia (in later episodes) are treated. Like Lex sleeps with women (consensually) and almost gets killed by one of them and Clark tells him that he doesn’t know if he can trust him anymore. Alicia forces Clark to marry her and almost forces him to have sex with her (read: non-consensual!) and the next episode she and Clark are dating again. Also, Lex gets framed for murder and when he’s found innocent, Clark rescues him, yes, but at the end of the day he still doesn’t trust Lex. Alicia gets framed for murder and is found innocent (and dies, unfortunately (seriously that was such a shocking death what the hell Smallville?!)) and Clark feels guilty and regretful and tells his parents he wishes he believed her sooner. Now I get that these two situations aren’t quite the same but the different reactions that Clark and the other characters have feel more like the writers playing into future roles (Lex is the villain, yada, yada) rather than actually looking at the characters as they are now.

I think I would have enjoyed the episode more if I’d understood what it was trying to say. Are you trying to say that Lex is “showing a different, darker side of himself” by not caring about the women he sleeps with? Okay then why is it okay for Lionel to do. Are you trying to say that sex in general is bad? Then why have Alicia be forgiven? Why have Lana trying to loose her virginity to Jason? In the end, the episode just left me feeling really frustrated bc I felt like there was something I was supposed to get but I just didn’t get it.

[mrs-march-ahs]

CONGRATULATIONS ON 900 !! 🥺 you deserve every single follower and you’ll be at 1K in no time!! we love you so much!! please don’t put too much pressure on yourself!

you don’t have to do this at all and it’s kind of lame but,,I’d love some evan hc’s with a (gn or male) reader who just- loves spoiling them? truth be told all of these boys have been through a lot and I just wanna take care of them yknow so 👉👈

Reader Spoiling The Evans

THANK YOU!! I LOVE YOU!! That’s sooo sweet, thank you babey<3 it’s mostly gender neutral, until half of Kai, i’m really sorry about that, but i couldn’t really think of many ways to spoil him, there are still a few things for Kai that are neutral!!

I did very specific snuggling with Tatey because @tatesimper wanted it, no problems, I got you darling<3

ALSOOOO I just really quickly wanna say that I made a 

roleplay account for James March and Kai Anderson called @murder-daddies,

if you want to send a message on anon (or off!) or follow, that’d be great! I thought it’d be really fun to have an rp account:)

okay, enjoy! :)

--

Tate

-Loves being spoiled with your attention more than anything else -Any sort of praise or reassurance makes him soft and blushy -He loves cuddling and would melt completely if you initiated cuddles -Him standing at the end of your bed and you open your arms - “c’mere” -He’ll timidly climb and crawl over to you and flop in your arms -He’d love to hold hands with you as you cuddle together -He would love to hear you read to him -Give him big slobbery kisses “mwah” -Obviously listen to him when he talks -Rub his back -Let him lay on your boobies/chest and play with his curls -Share your snacks with him, but feed them to him and he’ll love it -Perfect scenario is watching a film or documentary, Tate laying between your legs while you shovel popcorn into his mouth

Kit

­-The best way to spoil Kit is to do things for him or make things for him -He’s grateful every single day that you make dinner and says thank you every single day - “She’s pretty, she can cook, is there anything you can’t do?” -Baking cupcakes or cookies for him is one of his favourite treats as Kit has a huge sweet tooth -Kit loves when you buy him little gifts, even like flowers -Though you don’t have much money, so maybe stick to baking -Although Kit loved when you bought cigarettes for him, or lit them for him, or even occasionally smoked them with him, he would be willing to quit if you wanted him to -You would have to help him and support him to the nth degree -He would come home frustrated after a long day and not have anything to calm him down since he’s trying to not smoke -Let him take his frustration and anger out on you:) -Also tell him that every time he gets an urge to smoke he should kiss you -Which leads to your cheeks always being wet -Listen to him rant about work even though you don’t understand any of the specifics

Franken Kyle

-If you give him literally anything he will treasure it, because you gave it to him so it’s special -If he’s supervising (trying to help, but really just watching) as you cook, you have to give him a spatula to stand and hold so he doesn’t feel useless -He’ll stand there and take his job of holding it very very seriously, and if you take it from him to stir, you have to put it back in his hands -If you put it on the counter, he won’t pick it up he’ll just whine until you give it back to him -He absolutely adores soft cuddly things, so every stuffed animal you give him he cherishes -He earns a present when you leave him with somebody else while you have to go do adulty things -Even though you obviously can take him everywhere if you wanted to, sometimes it’s just easier to leave him at home while you quickly go out and buy food or sort things out -If you leave him with somebody, he doesn’t interact with them much and only needs them to keep an eye on him -But he’s always very whiney when you leave, so if he’s a good boy and stays at home with Cordelia or Fiona, then he gets a stuffed animal brought back -They will not leave his arms, even during dinner -He’ll try very hard to bring them into the bath with him but you won’t let him, so you compromise and leave the stuffed teddy on the sink, facing Kyle so he can watch him have a bath -If you give Kyle a kiss goodnight you have to also kiss the teddy -Kyle loves to cuddle up to you and absolutely loves when you play with his hair or stroke his shoulder or something -Whines if you stop touching him, even for a second to scratch your nose -Wants to be the sole focus of your attention -And he always is

Jimmy

-That boy is a snuggle machine -He loves having you close like most of them do -But he specifically melts at kisses -A single kiss on his cheek or his hand will make his entire day -He’ll automatically smile and put his hand to his cheek where you kissed him, before promptly regretting it as now he can’t feel the imprint of the kiss anymore -Loves when you show you listen to him -He’ll tell you that he’s super worried about doing a certain new act, but he’ll be rambling while you brush your teeth, assuming that you’re not even listening -But then the next day you’ll go with him to the main tent and give him a big smooooch on the cheek and tell him that he’ll kill at his new act -His whole face will light up, not even realising that you really were listening to him -He’ll be so happy and confident from your kiss that he’ll do great at his new act -To really treat him, take him somewhere -He loves the reassurance that you aren’t embarrassed to be around him -He also loves drinking so -Take him to a diner or bar, or to be super special, maybe for his birthday (June 23rd), you could take him on a mini vacation -Save up, and if Miss Elsa is in a generous mood, she can give you a few pennies to help you out -Most likely pay for the taxi to the hotel you booked -Jimmy loves spending time with you so he’ll adore being on a one-on-one holiday with you and just you -Have lots of sexy fun time

James

-He yearns to be with you, feel you, smell you and touch you -Spoiling him with attention and affection will make him melt inside -He also wants to feel comfortable and safe around you -Being there for him and listening to him when he’s a little down or frustrated about something means the world to him -He adores to listen to you too -Before going to bed you take it in turns to talk -Because you love his voice so much he will lay in bed with you snuggled at his side and read aloud The Great Gatsby, or a different book he’s reading -Either a literary classic or a murder mystery -If it’s your turn, you’ll snuggle up to him and stroke his hair -His hair when wet gets a little curly and you tease him about it -Wrap his little curlies around your fingers as you tell him a story about a strong knight in shining armour saving a princess called Y/N from an evil dragon - “Isn’t that a little juvenile, darling?” - “Do you want to know how it ends or not?” - “Apologies, please do continue”

Kai

-The best way to make Kai feel spoiled is just to not make his ‘job’ any harder than it already is -Don’t resist pinky powers or murder missions and just listen to him and be obedient to him -He’ll feel so much more comfortable around you if he doesn’t have to constantly fight with you -Although he wants strong people in his cult, he wants sheep that are devoted to him a lot more -If you murder somebody near him, you’re showing that you’re hard and strong but just be sweet to him -The sweeter you are to him the more vulnerable he’ll become towards you -Letting him talk to you about his parents and how he feels, even if his thoughts don’t make much sense -Honestly, the biggest compliment is Kai coming to talk to you about his feelings, even if his thoughts and feelings don’t make sense -Because if he has it all figured out, he already thought about it for a long time by himself -But if he doesn’t know what to think himself, then clearly he values your input and needs you to help him figure things out -Willingness to do everything for him -Listening to all of his plans and only contributing if he wants you to -I’m sorry, I know you requested gender neutral but the rest is about making babies, Kai is hard -If you’re willing to start a family with him he’ll convince you that the only holy way to do it is to get married first and do it properly -He’ll probably never ask you to marry him or be his s/o, because that’s a little cheesy -He’ll just take you out and take you to a jewellery store with some savings and ask you which ring you like, and then take you to get married -He’ll tell you and reassure you how good of a cause it is that you’re giving him a Messiah -You’re everything he’s ever wanted in a woman -Obedient to him but defiant against everybody else

━━━━━━♡♤♡━━━━━━

taglist<3

@milly-louise  @amourtentiaa  @kitwalker02  @tatestripedsweater  @therenlover  @maria-akira         @tatesimper  @margaretboothsear  @mossybank  @ahsxual  @mxlti-fand0m-imaginess  @mrs-march-ahs-biggest-fan  @kitwalkerangel  @kitisagoldenretrieverboy @darlingkitt  @blackbat2020 @divinerulerluvr  @undeadcortez @whiiiiplaaaaash @kaismessiahbb @elaineygrace

[petiteredlady]

End of the year 2.5D Butai/Musical Asks

I found that allyyyyy0619 made an “End of the year 2.5D Butai/Musical Asks” list, and it looked fun and interesting, so I wanted to do it. Some questions were challenging, but I liked answering !

1. Firstly, how did you manage to find out about 2.5D butai/musical? Which butai/musical was your first and your impression of it? In 2003-2004 a friend was studying in Japan. Being a Prince of Tennis fan, she discovered Tenimyu, and showed me her DVDs ! I think the very first I saw was the Dream Live 1st, and then I saw them mostly in chronological order. After that there were Bleach musicals, Hunter x Hunter, and by Air Gear I realised that adapting things into musicals was a thing. (Somehow I only learned about Sailor Moon later O_O)

For my impression of the first Dream Live : what the fuck. Just what the fuck XD I loved it because it was just so funny, but so many actors couldn't sing very well, the plot(?) was insane and several people were just OOC... but it was really fun and I liked it.

2. Who was your first favourite 2.5D actor/actress? Why? Hm... It was probably Takigawa Eiji, because I remember debating whether or not to buy his idol DVD^^" I'm not sure why, because he wasn't a good singer at the time... I guess his charisma alone was enough ? XD He made me laugh as Tezuka (despite actually playing him well), was pretty good-looking and he seemed like such a nice person IRL. (Unfortunately at the time I didn't find anything else he had played in so the "favourite" thing ended at me just really liking him...)

3. Top 3 (or more) favourite butai of the year? I haven't actually seen that many stage plays because I usually prefer musicals XD If I'm not mistaken, I've seen six stage plays this year so.... yeah.

1) Tsumuru Ookami Kuroki Kamo, without a doubt. Probably the best stage play I've ever seen. The staging was amazing, transitions were smooth and clever and easy to follow, I loved the music, I loved the costumes, the characters were amazing (even those I hated)(looking at you Shinpachi), and the story pushed so many of my buttons it's ridiculous. But even objectively, I think it's a really, really good stage play. 2) Yowamushi Pedal Shin Inter-High hen - Heat Up. I had only watched one other YowaPeda stage play so I didn't really know what to expect, but MY GOD. For a stage that had neither my favourite character nor my favourite actors, it was amazing. I loved the staging : everything was very dynamic, the amovible stairs were very cleverly used, and wow you really think they're pedalling. The acting was great and it was really funny, plus there were more songs than I expected ! 3) Haikyuu!! The Summer of Evolution. I wasn't fond of the first stage play and hadn't seen another, so I didn't expect to like it, but wow they have improved SO MUCH. The different choregraphies, for playing and dancing, were insane. I love their use of music to represent different techniques and formations. I really liked the acting. What I liked less was all the yelling, talking at the speed of light and everybody talking at the same time +_+ Like, please people, live Japanese is hard enough as it is XD

4. Top 3 (or more) least favourite butai of the year? By default they're going to be the other three I've seen XD It doesn't mean I didn't like them, but I liked them less and it wouldn't be fair to not answer this question.

1) Mononofu Shiroki Tora. I still liked it because it dealed with a lot of subjects that are dear to me, but honestly it was so confusing +_+ I really had a hard time understanding what was the present and what was the past, and which side the background characters were on. There were several characters I didn't connect with at all, too. It was still funny and horribly sad, but after watching it I just wasn't convinced. (Which is why I waited months before watching Tsumuru Ookami Kuroki Kamo.) 2) Messiah - Yuukyuu no Toki. The best stage play that came out of the new Messiah series. I wrote my impressions after watching it, but to summarise : there are still too many characters, too many plots at the same time, and I'm tired of people being related for no reason. I also thought the whole issue with Ariga and Itsuki was very dumb. But at least Yuukyuu focused more on its characters than Akatsuki, so I ended up liking them more. And returning characters were less OOC in my opinion. And my goodness, action scenes were great. 3) Messiah - Akatsuki no Toki. I was so excited for it and was terribly betrayed. There were a thousand ways to deal with Hirose Daisuke's absence, and they went with an insane plot so far-fatched I can't bring myself to take it seriously. I found the characters very, very OOC and didn't connect with or care for any of them. The new kouhai were not at all what I expected and I found them cringy at best. There are very few things I liked. Mostly the relationship between Ariga and Itsuki <3 I sort of squeed when Ariga called Itsuki by his name, and then at the end Itsuki did the same and it was cute and adorable.

(Messiah has been a letdown this year, it's pretty sad...)

5. Top 3 (or more) favourite musical of the year? I've watched a lot more musicals so this is going to be really hard XD (But I'm not doing more than 3. Ranking things is hard enough like that.)

1) Ribbon no Kishi (2015 version). It blew my mind when I didn't expect it O_O I was watching it for Aoki Tsunenori, but everyone was just so, so good. THE SONGS. MY GOD. ALL OF THE SONGS ARE GREAT, ALL OF THEM, AND EVERYONE SINGS SO WELL !!! The women especially had amazing voices. Everyone played they roles so well, with some being so very over-the-top and kitsch. I loved it. And this is part of being Ribbon no Kishi, but I loved the costumes and the fairy tale atmosphere that was very positive. I have issues with the story, but honestly that's not why I was watching it, so all in all it was a great experience. 2) Sailor Moon - Le Mouvement Final. JUST. AMAZING. Everyone was so pretty and cool and talented, the costumes were full of glitter, and the singing and acting really touched me <3 I may not be 100 % objective because I've loved Sailor Moon since I was a little girl and the last arc always makes me very emotional, but still. The transformations were great, the light effects were really cool, the music was good and all the actresse were amazing. If it hadn't been the last day of the performance I'd have tried to get another ticket... 3) Patalliro!. They don't call it a musical since they're lip-syncing on stage, but as a viewer the experience is basically the same so I've decided it counts. I had read a bit of the manga and watched a bit of the anime to have some context, and it really helped me understand some scenes. What I found most amazing is that the musical looks good while keeping all the weirdness from the manga XD They all acted so well, and managed to create a great story with very few characters. I liked that everything, from characters expressions to every plot point, was very over-the-top and dramatic XD I laughed a LOT. And the songs were really good and catchy. I liked it way more than I expected !

6. Top 3 (or more) least favourite musical of the year? Once again : it doesn't mean I didn't like them. Either they didn't live up to my expectations, or I simply liked them less.

1) Bakumatsu Rock - Climax Live. While I liked the interactions between the characters and liked more songs than I expected, I still feel this live didn't use all its potential. I mean, sure, it's a live, but maybe there could have been more of a plot ? Transitions were good and sketches were funny, but an overarching plot tying it all together would have been nicer, in my opinion. 2) Show by Rock - Shinen no Cross Ambivalence. This is very, very, very personal, but I think ShinganCrimsonZ didn't act enough like themselves. I know they weren't the focus of the plot, but... Rom had only like one speech that made the others cry, they didn't bicker about food, they didn't sing their jingle and Crow almost never called us "cattle" T-T Actually the focus was all over the place so I feel like no band really had time to shine. (And that's ever more personal, but the one and only reason I wanted to see Show by Rock was to see TakiEiji.......)(Obviously I'm not blaming anyone O__O) Overall I liked it, but not as much as I wanted to. 3) Touken Ranbu - Bakumatsu Tenrouden. The expectations/reality ratio was way too high for this one XD I still liked it, but not as much as a Shinsengumi fan should have, I guess XD First, I don't like Yasusada that much. And I'm getting really tired of his and Kashuu's issues with Okita. WE GET IT. We even had them all over Hanamaru. They're pretty popular anyway so WE KNOW ALREADY. I was more interested in Nagasone and Hachisuka's issues, but I think they were only superficially addressed. And Nagasone angsting about Kondou was only at the end with little build-up so it just felt weird, while it had the potential to be a heart-wrenching scene. And honestly, Kane-san and Horikawa felt like secondary characters T-T I'd have been much more interested in THEIR dealing with their owner's death. I also think they didn't have great singers and their voices didn't really work together, even though I liked the songs. So this musical was more of a miss than a hit, for me. (But I liked the previous one so much it was hard to top.)

7. Top 3 (or more) favourite actors/actress of the year?

1) Rachi Shinji. I've developped a real appreciation for him after being initially put off. When I first saw the Bakumatsu Rock musical his voice was so different from anime Ryouma that I thought he couldn't sing... haha =_= It got better the more musicals I saw in this series, then I saw him in Sayonara Sorcier *o* He was so, so perfect for the role *o* Now I really want to see more of him ! 2) Kanda Airi. I was very impressed by her performance in Ribbon no Kishi, and then I saw her in Sailor Moon *o* She was more than amazing. She appeared late, but she was so at ease on stage ! She was very in character, very into her dancing and singing, and she felt much more experienced than the adult actresses. Honestly, it seemed so very natural for her to act, it was hard to look at anyone else ! (And I don't even like Chibi Moon that much so it's really impressive.) 3) Teruma. I think he's one of these few actors who can really change who they are when they play different characters. I just find that very impressive, and since I've been seeing more and more of him, I ended up noticing. He has really improved his singing, too ! (And he does play very different characters while you could expect him to have a type XD)

8. Top 3 (or more) rookie actors/rising actors whom you’ve high hopes for in the future? ... I usually follow actors I know so that means they already have a career XD But let's try !

1) Takano Akira, Toumyu's Hizamaru. He's not exactly a newbie as he's done a number of things, but mostly in 2016 so I guess it counts. I've only seen him in Shinken Ranbu Sai 2017 (I'll see the actual musical in January), but I was SO IMPRESSED. Honestly, despite the huge cast and lots of other actors and characters I loved, he managed to stand out ! His acting was great, his dancing JUST AMAZING, and he was so into his role, it was a pleasure to watch. 2) Ooyabu Taka. I only saw him as Marui in the 3rd season Tenimyu Seigaku vs Rikkai, but my goodness he was perfect. Probably the best Marui so far, definitely one of the best and most charismatic actors of the musical ! It's not even a character I care about much so I'm not biased, and I did hear other people talk excitedly about how good he was. I don't think I'll be closely following his career, but I'm definitely interested in seeing more of him ! 3) Sakiyama Tsubasa. He has been in a number of plays for the past 3-4 years, but I think it's only recently (thanks to Toumyu) that his popularity skyrocketed. The more I watch him the more I like him, and he's one of the very few people who made me buy their CD, so that says something ! I definitely want to see more of him in the future !

9. Top 3 (or more) favourite butai/musical related drama/movie of the year? The original question said it could be a drama that has a butai adaptation or an unrelated drama with butai actors in it (who made us want to watch it). The thing is... I don't watch that many dramas ? Not anymore, at least. When I like a butai actor I like to see what other butai they're in XD There's always tokusatsu, but it's not ONLY for the actors. Oh well, let's try...

1) Tokumei Sentai Go-Busters. Amazing show. Predictable, but everything made me feel good, from the characters to the plot. It was on my list because of Matsumoto Hiroya and Baba Ryouma <3 (Then I realised Jinnai Shou was in it too !)(Now that I think about it they happen to play my favourite characters...) 2) Yowamushi Pedal. It was one example listed in the original question so it feels weird to answer that, but it's true. From the preview I didn't think it'd be anything worthy of note, but it's actually so, so well done. Even the bike races. And the cast is just so good, I love how they play the characters. 3) Zyuden Sentai Kyoryuger. A bit cliché, but I loved it. The main characters were great, the villains too, and I love dinosaurs. And I decided to watch it because of Saitou Shuusuke !

(Yeah that's two sentai but honestly I've already gone through all the Kamen Riders that have butai actors in it...)

10. Top 3 (or more) actors/actress that you think have the best singing voice? Now that's very unfair and I can't do it XD Why I like someone’s singing depends on so many things, and I may not like everything that person sings... But I decided to answer these questions so I WILL >< (This will be more like "hey I consistently like these people singing" rather than "they're objectively the best singers")

1) Katou Kazuki. He was amazing in Tenimyu, I actually listened to his original songs when he released a CD, and when I heard him recently I thought he had improved AGAIN O_O I don't think there's any limit to how good he can get. (And I love deep voices like his.) 2) Kimeru. Such a powerful voice. I think he can sing anything and make it awesome. He's sometimes a bit over the top, but I love listening to him. 3) Sakiyama Tsubasa. When I first heard him in Toumyu I wasn't convinced, but he's improved so fast ! I love his calm and soothing voice <3

(4th place is for Rachi Shinji because my god just like Kimeru he has such a powerful and beautiful voice *o* Just... less my style.) (And I'd like to mention Spi somewhere because while I haven't yet seen Mihotose no Komoriuta, I was SO IMPRESSED by his singing in Shinken Ranbu Sai 2017 he deserves a spot. His singing was amazing.)

11. A (or more) butai/musical that you didn’t initially love, but has/have grown on you?

Bakumatsu Rock (the first one). It was such a shock to transition from anime to stage, I didn't take it well. The seiyuu are pretty amazing, and the musical tried to have actors with very different voices try to sing like the seiyuu... and it doesn't work at all. After re-watching the musical, though, I got a better appreciation for the actors’ singing. It's not that they're bad, they're just made to sing things that were not made for them^^ And some songs are still pretty good despite that ! And in later musicals I think they better adapted the music.

12. Top 3 (or more) anime/manga/game that you would love to see being adapted into a butai/musical in the future?

1) Anything by CLAMP ? I mean, why is there no Card Captor Sakura musical ? It would be perfect. Or Wish !! Wish would be so cute. Or Clover *o* (Honestly any manga works. Even the 'heavier' ones like X or RG Veda. These two would have amazing group songs *o*) 2) I'm not sure I'd "love" it but honestly after three Tenimyu seasons it's time to be brave and adapt New Prince of Tennis. 3) I haven't seen it yet but when I read the question I immediately thought "Ballroom e youkoso needs an adaptation" XD

13. Top 3 (or more) favourite fandom on the year?

1) Tenimyu is still a pure and amazing fandom. Honestly seeing people still passionate about it nearly fifteen years later amazes me. 2) Touken Ranbu fans are very impressive, collecting so much information and following every single actor's other projects XD 3) The Hakumyu fandom sprang back into existence, it seems XD With motivated people sharing and subbing. I'm glad to see the fandom is still alive and happy despite the lack of new musicals.

14. How long have you been in the 2.5D fandom? Honestly I wouldn't consider myself "in the fandom" these days... I interacted with other fans much more when I was younger, and then there was a period when my interest in butai faded. But if we count from the first time I got involved... it's been about 13 years.

15. Lastly, what is your overall opinion of the 2.5D fandom so far? As I said, I'm not really "in" it so it's more like an outside opinion...? Honestly, I feel that now that buying and sharing DVDs is so easy, the fandom has grown so big it has become difficult to really interact with people ? Maybe I just don't put enough effort in it, though XD But having so many fans with different interests mean it's more difficult to find someone who matches your interests who is also interested in talking to you specifically while there are so many other fans out there. (But yeah, maybe it's just me. I used to be in small French fandoms, maybe I'm just not cut out for big international ones.)

And yet it amazes me how much people help each other : getting tickets, getting goodies, subbing... (Like, SUBBING ?? When I was younger I never thought about anyone ever subbing butai, fansubs were something anime fans did, I never considered it could apply to butai too XD So I'm always in awe when people sub butai.)

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #62

“for better or for worse, i was born into a hearse.”

what do you normally eat at a barbecue?   honestly, i suffer at a barbecue.  i don't like anything that is usually cooked. do you prefer aquatic creatures or flying (water or air)?   flying, i presume. would you like to go swimming with dolphins?   i'd be kinda iffy, because i know dolphins can be quite mean, but i'd still do it. what to you is beautiful beyond all compare?   jason.  well, he's handsome, but you get it. in 5 years time, what do you NOT want to be doing (worst scenario)?   uhhh i guess be in prison for murdering ashley. have you and a friend ever gone after the same person?   thank god, no. do you lead people on?   i do not. have you ever been told that you were going to hell?   nope. do you know any actual dances or do you just move to the music?   not really.  i just know shit like the cupid shuffle and uhhh... not the electric slide... what's the other song like it? name the coolest thing about one of your grandparents.   they built their own house. do you know which side your appendix is on?   uhhhh... left, i think? if someone was willing to tell your crush you liked them would you let them?   it'd be useless.  he already knows. do you put q-tips in your ear or just round the outside?   honestly i'll put them into the ear a bit because i hate my ears feeling waxy. have you ever popped another person’s zit?   no, thank jesus. gave you ever told a friend to dump their SO? did they?   yeah, summer when she dated nick.  she did eventually. what do you think is the coolest piercing on someone else?   back dermals. who do you tease most often and what about?   the only person i've ever been comfortable teasing was jason.  i'd call him a geek a lot, but he knows i didn't mean it harmfully.  i'm attracted to geeks anyway. most disgusting bug?   disgusting, well, obviously the dung beetle. favorite thing you’ve ever painted?   i painted two meerkats grooming each other on burlap in acrylic in high school.  turned out stellar, in my honest opinion. when it’s your birthday, do you have the correct number of candles?   i probably won't this year, as 21 is quite a few. when you take surveys, what kinds of questions do you HOPE will be asked?   just unique ones.  questions you very rarely hear, or my favorite, controversial ones that really invoke thought. do you like 80s music?   80s metal, hell yeah. what kind of food is your favorite? (Ex. Mexican, Chinese, Thai, etc.)   american how would you feel if you were drafted for the military?   i'd rather die. would you have sex before marriage? why or why not?   i still don't know.  i've said before i regret not letting jason take my virginity, and i don't want regrets.  honestly, if by some miracle he comes back, i'm ditching it.  through him being gone, i have truly seen just how much i adore him, and when you love someone this much, i don't care if i'm not legally bound to him, he deserves to know me like that.  if i start a new relationship, though... i kinda doubt i'll ever have sex until i'm married, because if jason can't take my virginity, i don't want another man to until i'm married to him.  jason had to wait, so does he. lmao reading that, my logic is so fucky, idk. how do you feel about shaved pubes?   if you don't like them, shave them.  good for you. are you more liberal or conservative?   i'm definitely more conservative, but have some liberal views. why do some teenagers drink alcohol?   i'm sure everyone drinks for a different reason. do you like obama?   i don't know enough about him to judge fairly.  i disagree with some of his policies that i know about, but he honestly seems like a really chill and funny dude. would making abortion illegal really be the logical thing to do?   fucking yes it would be.  and DO NOT give me the "it'll only stop safe abortions" argument.  guess what?  murder's illegal.  still happens.  a mother should in no way be comfortable killing her spawn, and i am disgusted beyond anything more in human nature by the fact people do it without even flinching.  just.  shit.  i have so much to say about this.  i do pity a woman who decides to have an unsafe abortion, yes, but no, i will not say sorry to you that a child "inconvenienced" you.  i do not CARE what is going on in your life, you act like a fucking adult, suck that shit up, bear the child, give it up to adoption.  think it'll scar you for life?  guess the fuck what?  shit far "worse" than a CHILD happens to a good majority of people. lkasjdoaisuere i really don't feel like going on with this.  and i know i sound so feisty with this subject, but i am just so passionate about the issue. does the person you like, like you?   apparently not. what's the most sexual thing you've done?   idk, oral i guess? what's your opinion on masturbation?   this question seems to come up a lot lately in the quizzes i'm finding...  but anyway.  it's wrong.  lustful.  gross in my opinion, i don't care how clean you may be. do you wish you had an eating disorder because you want to lose weight?   okay, i want to lose weight VERY badly, but i would never wish an eating disorder upon myself. what is your favorite queen song?   "bohemian rhapsody," duh! who is the sexiest celebrity? would you cheat on your partner for this celebrity?   link neal is daddy af.  but no, i wouldn't. how often do you cuss?   just as often as i say "normal" words. how is your self-esteem?   non-existent. have you ever thought about committing suicide?   tried it. have you ever cleaned up someone else’s vomit?   i have not, and i couldn't. would you kiss the last person you texted?   that would be colleen, and no. do you think you exercise enough?   i don't exercise period.  i feel too fucking weak to ever do it efficiently and because of my medication, i sweat to the point that it is NOT worth it. you’re getting ready to go to bed, and the last person you kissed shows up. what do you say?  "hi, sweetheart." if i offered to buy you a chocolate bar, which would you choose?   hershey's, please. have you ever written a song or poem for someone special?   i have.  i hope he still has it... have you ever been told that you resemble a celebrity?   no, but i've been told i resemble a video game character.  well, i did. in your life, who is the person that seems to understand you the most?   of all the people in my life, i thought jason did. last time you got goosebumps?   well i'm still watching the "life is strange" playthrough from earlier and this fucking game gives me goosebumps pretty easily. do you have a beatles shirt?   no, i don't enjoy them enough to have one. what color(s) have you dyed your hair?   i've had black, red, purple, burgundy... probably more i'm forgetting. do you think about the way things used to be often?   my life's consumed by it. have you ever dated a ginger?   nope. have you ever cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend?   nope. how do you like being roused in the morning?   ... i'mma just say a "certain way" by jason like he liked to do. favorite food?   jalapeno pizza what is the best news you could hear right now?   "jason wants to give you an apology." do you listen to screamo?   no, it's one of the rare metal sub-genres i do not enjoy.  i want to be able to understand the words. does your town/area have a farmer’s market? do you ever buy your vegetables there rather than grocery store?   area, sure, maybe like an hour away.  town, no, so we don't really buy groceries there. you're on life support, and you want someone to pull the plug.  who do you want to do it?   honest to god... if jason could do one more thing for me, if that was my life... it'd be that.  he's already done so much to me that he might as well kill me, too.  it sounds dark, i know, but if that was my life, living in such torture, i'd want him to take the roll of messiah again, one more time, like he did when we were dating.  for him to save me from a fate worse than death, for him to do that one last thing for me, maybe i would die at least slightly happy.  I AM NOOOOOT saying i want that to actually happen, i don't at all, but if it were to happen, i'd want jason to be the one to muster up the will to visit me even once to do it. has anyone ever “ruined” anything for you (for example: your partner says, “oh, this song always reminds me of my ex” and you never want to listen to it again, or your friend is so obsessed with a movie that you start to resent the film)?   ohhhh boy.  OHHHHHH BOY.  can i actually like... vent here about everything jason ruined for me?  just to get this shit out, because i'm honestly still hurt that so many things i can't experience anymore?  let's start, boiz! motionless in white and black veil brides both trigger me, as they were his favorite bands, but i listen to them anyway.  i can't listen to "the mortician's daughter" and "saviour" by bvb, "city lights" by motionless in white fucks with me a bit, i cannot tolerate "when it's love" by van halen or "all or nothing" by theory of a deadman because i thought both would play big parts in my wedding with him.  i can't listen to "stairway to heaven" by led zeppelin because of that time we danced to it.  i can't watch "american horror story," "supernatural," or "sherlock" because we binge-watched them all.  i can't go to olive garden because he used to work there.  i can't go to office depot because he works there now.  i can't even think of the batman series, particularly joker and harley quinn, without thinking of jason.  i'm most certain there's more, but that's all that's coming to me right now... would you ever get a tattoo in honor of someone in your life?  it doesn't have to be their name.   ... sigh.  three questions in a row where i'm going to go on and on about jason, lmao...  well, the answer's yes.  i know people in my life are going to have problems with it, especially family, but i've seriously considered many tats i want in his honor.  i've thought about the consequences, and frankly, i do not care.  i want them.  who knows, maybe i will move on one day (i doubt it, but who knows), but i can guarantee to you that i may not like, but won't mind having memories on him ingrained into my flesh. so anyone, here's the tattoos i think i'll actually get: 1.) "... and you ain't got his smile" quote (harley quinn quote; the one i'm most likely to do); 2.) "i don't love you like i did yesterday" (mcr song) quote with two hands ripping a heart below it [this song has really helped me through this breakup], 3.) a watercolor blue jay (his nickname is "j bird"), 4.) "i love you more than i could ever scream" (bvb song) quote, and 5.) "saudade" (means a longing for one you cannot have, stuff like that).  yes.  i am seriously considering getting five tats dedicated to my ex.  move along. away from jason, yeah, i'd get tats for other people, too.  i have a shared "ohana" tattoo with my best friend.  i'll probably get something with my mother at some point, too. if you had a significant other and somehow got a chance to kiss your celebrity crush, would you still go for it?   no, honestly. if you still live with your parents, is it scary for you to imagine living away from them when you move out on your own? if you live on your own, how did you cope with moving away from your family for the first time?   i am scared of moving out, yes.  depression makes me... kinda irresponsible, to be honest.  i'm not the best at taking care of myself and such, and i don't want to neglect my house.  when i lived in the apartment, it was a good taste of how it'd be like, and we all failed.  i'm very, very scared of moving out. do you tend to be attracted to people that are more similar to you in interests and mannerisms or do you tend to be attracted to someone opposite/complementing to you?   i'm definitely attracted to people more like me. is there something that people complain about that just makes you roll your eyes because you think is not a big deal and you would gladly trade your own issues for it?   i mean, sometimes, yeah.  at the same time though, i know exactly what it's like to have an issue that people underestimate.  it's the exact reason colleen and i are fighting.  you don't know how well or badly a certain person will handle a specific issue. have you ever received an unwanted gift from someone trying to woo you? did you accept it or reject it?   from juan, yeah.  i've accepted minor stuff, but never anything major. have you ever boycotted a product or corporation? how come?   i don't think i seriously have. if someone asks you to hang out, but for some reason you’re just feeling lazy/don’t want to go anywhere, do you ignore them, make up an excuse, or just tell them the honest truth?   lmao i'll honestly do all three.  just depends. have you heard of or even read the novel, “50 shades of grey”? if so, what’s your opinion about it?   everyone's heard of it, and it's fucking disgusting and demeaning and instills terrible relationship ideals into some people. has a guy ever let you wear his jacket?   jason has a big leather jacket i loved to "steal" while we were in the school cafeteria because i was always cold. has anyone you ever dated called you in the middle of the night just to hear your voice?   no, not just for that. have you met anyone famous?   i have not. what will your next piercing be?   mom really doesn't want to be the one to buy me my tongue piercing because she's so against the idea, so she's thinking of letting me get my lip re-pierced on my birthday. what do you regret doing at FAR too young?   fully and with reckless abandon giving someone my heart. do you have any weapons for personal protection?   no.  i'm not legally allowed to own a gun due to me being mentally ill/having a history of suicide attempts, and i don't know about other weapons. is there a piece of jewelry that holds any sentimental value to you?   yes, a ring jason gave me for our anniversary once.  it had a golden base with a bluish-purple gem.  it was pretty big.  he was so pissed (not at me, at the seller) when it broke, though.  i still have it in the jewelry box he gave me... what does your facebook status say right now?   ehhhh, i honestly kinda exploded last night and went off on everyone who calls me "friend," no one in particular.  i was tired of being so let down by the people who "care" about me. would you ever agree to an open relationship with someone?   no way in seven hells. have you ever had your picture in the newspaper?   i have not. what did you have for dinner last night?   i was so upset that i didn't eat. do you think you look similar to your siblings?   i look less like them than ashley and nicole look like each other, but i do look like them. what do you usually dream about?   jason's always there. do you ever use sleep as a way to cope with bad moods?   i use sleep to cope with, well, a lot.  when i'm bored, i'll sleep, when i feel like crap, i'll sleep...  i almost always take at least one nap a day, and sometimes i'll lie down a second time.  it's embarrassing to admit. what’s the most self-destructive thing you’ve ever done?   letting jason become my world. was (or is) it difficult for you to watch your siblings mature? if you’re an only child, is it difficult to watch family members in general get older?   it's not as hard with ashley, but it really is with nicole.  she's the youngest, and though we're bonded truly only through blood, i don't like seeing her get older.  it's still weird that she has a feminine body and not a child's, and she's 18 for heaven's sake.  all but like one of her boyfriends i haven't trusted.  it hurts me physically when her current bf acts like the shithead he is.  i nearly had an emotional breakdown when i found out she was having sex via the doctor.  i don't like her growing up. have you ever blamed an outside force for a problem you were having?   ... i guess blaming jason for a lot of things. do you find yourself getting more optimistic around new year’s, or does that time of year have a negative affect on you?   there's no change at all.  a new year has no effect on events that transpire, so there's literally no reason to be optimistic. who was your high school crush?   he was more than a "crush," but jason. what do you dislike about your smile?   my eyes squint when i smile. have you noticed that EVERYONE is ‘bisexual’ these days?   erm, not "everyone" is, but i noticed bisexuality becoming popular when i was in middle school.  many, many girls i knew claimed to be so, then would "turn straight" like a year later.  it was stupid. are you online 24/7?   pretty much, yes. who is your favorite online friend?   i don't really have one since mini just kinda ditched me. is it possible to be single and happy?   i'm certain it is, but after tasting what genuine love is like, i'm coming to accept i guess it's just not for me.  i don't want to rush things, though, which i'm scared of doing. is there anyone who hates you?   pretty sure rachel did in high school, don't know if she still does. does your mom know your deepest darkest secrets?   no, she does not. who did you last talk to about the person you like?   mom, i think. is there anyone you trust who you shouldn’t?   jason, i guess. do you want kids?   i guess i do.  but pondering it, there's a minor possibility i won't.  it depends on who i date.  like... before i dated jason (i know ya'll are so fucking tired of hearing about him, i truly am sorry), i didn't want kids.  a year or so into our relationship, i did, solely because i loved him so much.   i wanted a manifestation of us.  when i think of the possibility of having kids, i'm pretty sure i still only visualize it being with my ex, so that's why i still say "yeah i want kids."  who knows... if by some miracle i end up with someone else, i may not want their kids... who knows... have you ever fallen completely in love?   completely and entirely. do you believe in celebrating anniversaries?   of course i do!  love is a fucking perfect thing to celebrate! what was your biggest worry five years ago, do you still feel the same about it at this minute?   five years ago, i was busy worrying if jason and i would last.  guess i know now. do you want your children (if you have any) to be ‘just like you’?   no.  god no.  please. do you have same sex fantasies?   no, i don't. would you ever have sex in the shower or the bath?   i mean, i'd try it, sure, but i don't think it'd be my thing. opinion on immigrants/immigration reform?   i have very mixed feelings with this.  like i understand perfectly that some people have very valid reasons to leave their countries, but we also have to consider our maximum capacity as a country and how easily we could accidentally bring in a terrorist.  because of my mixed feelings, i really can't answer this question should prostitution be legalized?   fuck no. why are you the person you are?   my upbringing, the environment i was raised in, my experiences... if you were offered a shot of whiskey right this second, would you accept?   sure, i've never tried it before. what are you like when you’re drunk?   i'm sociable, i laugh a lot, and apparently i like to sing.  i like drunk me way more than sober me. do you want a church wedding?   i do not. story of the first time you made out with someone?   so jason and i were playfighting on his bed and to shut me up, he kissed me, and because of me having been talking, my mouth was open, sooo it kinda just escalated from there.  i still remember we kissed about a million times that day, probably.  so i can't be too bad a kisser lol. first time you gave/received oral sex?   i'm pretty sure he gave me oral sex first, but i don't really remember it much?  nor do i recall the first time i gave him oral?  i remember liking it but really not wanting to, and i tensed up very badly.  giving it to him, i just simply didn't enjoy (nor did i really know what to do at all in case i hurt him), even though i'm aware he was clean.  like i'm just sorry, i don't care who you are, i don't want the place you ejaculate and piss from in my mouth.  because of this, we didn't really do oral much. do you still talk to the person you lost your virginity to?   i still have my virginity. how many followers do you have on tumblr? what about twitter/instagram?   40 on my main tumblr blog, 25 on my survey one.  i am but a smol bean.  i don't have twitter and instagram. first time you thought you were in love? when did you realize that you weren’t actually in love with that person?   maybe a year or so into my relationship with jason, perhaps later?  and i was and still am in love with that man. ever seen someone just roll out of bed and still look hot?
   that's jason for you.  his hair was always so messy in the morning, but he looked like a rugged angel to me. would you ever get a tattoo on your collar bone?   i already have one there. if you were pregnant right now…?   financially, that'd be very, very bad.  regardless though, i'd keep the child and, depending on the paternity, keep it or adopt it out.  the only person i've ever done anything remotely sexual with is jason, so i'm guessing he'd have to be the dad, despite not seeing him for over a year???  if that was the case, i'd keep the baby and raise it as best i could and treasure it beyond belief.  if it wasn't his, this sounds... really bad, but i don't feel like i would have the desire to raise it myself.  it's obvious i don't love myself, so having a child that was a mix of me and god-knows-who would just feel... idk.  i don't feel like i'd be capable of loving it properly, so i'd give him/her to a family that would. have you ever kissed an ex after you two have broken up?   i have not. do you ever wear boots with skinny jeans?   i used to, when i was slimmer.  i rocked skinny jeans and black boots, imo. is there a den in your house?   there's not a room we refer to as "den," no. what's currently on your mind?   ha, first lemme say a shit load is on my mind.  always is.  but what's lying most heavily on my mind at the moment is how i quit school yesterday, and now i feel like i won't succeed as a photographer.  which is ridiculous, i know, considering all college would do me is give me a fancy sheet of paper.  it would perhaps slightly increase my chances of being employed by a company, but... hello, i want to be a freelance photographer???  getting a degree and digging so deep into debt just didn't seem worth it, at all.  experience is far more important than being told how to photograph, and you can find most information about photography online for free.  it's not worth it for what i want to focus on, i know, but dammit, that little nagging thought in me that says i failed... do you have a pinterest account?   lmao yeah i do.  i shamelessly have boards mostly related to photographs i want to recreate with my future family.  i also have a board related to stylistic/fashion choices and tattoos. have you ever seen the television show the munsters?   yes yes yes yes yes!!! would you/have you spent more than $200 on any one person for a holiday?   i mean, sure.  i might want to get a significant other something pricey, or i'd use it to get christmas presents for my child(ren). thoughts on slenderman? have you even heard of him?   i don't think he's at all scary honestly, but i guess the story of him's okay?  he's an... okay-ish introduction for someone who wants to explore horror games too, i assume. what would you call yourself the king or queen of?   obsessing over my ex. if i paid for you to take karate lessons, would you?   no, honestly. what is the saddest movie that you’ve ever seen?   hmmmm... i am not entirely sure. opinion: on surveys that begin with your name, age, etc?   i either don't take the survey if it's full of basic shit or delete the questions that are always asked. do you know any people who cuss in every sentence?   jason's mother, pretty much. ever written that you were going to end your life?   i've told my ex that over facebook before, yes.  that's the only reason he came to my house after he broke up with me, probably. is life good?   is life good, despite all the hell, struggles, joys, and spans of boredom?  no.  no, it is not. did you lose friends when you started dating someone?   juan stopped talking to me, but i barely considered him a friend anyway. have you ever used the word “rawr” in an actual conversation?   ... yes. would you change yourself for the person you love?   if he's interested in me changing for the better, sure.  but by now, i almost feel like i'd change however jason wanted me to... do you have someone you can be your complete self around?   i mean i guess i can, but i don't. do you have nice eyes?   they're average, i guess. how did you celebrate your last birthday?   we went to texas steakhouse. have you ever had sex on the beach?   no, and that sounds... gross... with all the sand...? would you ever shave your head to save someone you love?   of course. can you juggle?   nope. what’s the last thing you drew a picture of?   i'm pretty sure i drew a portrait of jason last. is your bellybutton an innie or outie?   innie. have you ever been banned from a public place?   i have not. what horror fiction character scares you the most?   scream, definitely. have you ever milked a cow?   no, and i don't really want to. have you ever given blood?   once in high school, yes. do you know any identical twins?   i do.  i forget the other kid's name, it was jason and... something.  remember that story of how the only reason i accepted my jason's friend request is because i thought he was another jason?  yeah, it was that jason. have you ever made your own ice cream?   colleen and i did together, yeah. (:

[lorainelaneyblog]

People want to know why Loraine Laney stopped writing tonight already when sometimes she writes into the day. It’s because she’s talking to two of her favorite doctors, Doctor [ ], psychiatrist, and Doctor [ ], facial reconstructive surgeon, about the book. They are delighted to hear you say that equality is impossible Loraine, and specifically because men are superior, well done, Loraine, with that, says God, ancient cultures agree, and Loraine is a little bit familiar, as a Vancouverite, with both, Doctor [ ] and Doctor [ ]. It was never lost on her that this was the belief of these two cultures, the south Asian culture and the Chinese culture, and she was aware, through feminism of such things as hysteria, penis envy, the male sex right, and even, Loraine, you won’t believe this yourself, but abortion, strategic abortion. Yes, she sure was aware of that, and now she believes it was to prevent girls from entering the sex industry itself.

‘She’s right,’ says one Indian women. ‘She’s exactly right. Why did you finally think that, Loraine?’

‘It was unbelievable that people wouldn’t love their little girls.’

‘True, advantageous employment wasn’t enough, was it? Especially in light of the dearth of women, that didn’t make sense to anyone. But, because we lived in poverty, we knew the outcomes for girls, and it was so unpleasant, Loraine, that we killed girl babies in droves, Loraine. How do you feel about early marriage, Loraine.’

‘Answer that, Loraine.’

‘I think it’s a mistake to outlaw early marriage because marriage should be available to girls who are starting their sexual lives.’

‘What if marriage is their sexual life?’

‘I think this is, again, a problem of poverty.’

‘It is Loraine, you’re right. Why?’

‘Because God has illuminated that the true May Decembers only number about five percent, and most men prefer the woman to be about two years younger.’

‘And that’s it? Why is this happening now, and not before then?’

‘Two reasons. Equality whitewashes dominance and submission in the bedroom and men seek younger partners, dumber partners, smaller races, ostensibly more submissive races, while women do the opposite to right this resulting boredom.’

‘Oh right, and what else?’

‘Promiscuity causes men to seek younger and younger women to escape a woman’s past.’

‘Oh shit. Because we’ve noticed that the number of child brides has increased exponentially, Loraine, and we don’t feel good about it, and we changed the age for marriage, even though we knew what you believed to be true, which is that girls need marriage to come along with sex. But, seriously, the age fell to as low as twelve, and the girls were not happy, and we had to outlaw it, Loraine. What do you think of that?’

‘Holy shit.’

‘What?’

‘Well, how are you going to keep young women from having sex before the age of legal marriage though?’

‘Oh yeah, we made it sixteen.’

‘I thought it was better to allow it, and force psychological, psychiatric, and even spiritual examinations prior to sex or marriage occurring.’

‘What would that do?’

‘It gives the girl a chance to examine her desire. That’s the saddest part of these marriages, isn’t it?’

‘What?’

‘It’s unlikely a passionate union.’

‘What if they’re equal intellect?’

She argued that men hold the social power while women hold the sexual power, and that that was basis enough to support marriages between older men and younger women. She did so based on what she was seeing in the news, mostly abuse cases. She thought that maybe there was something viable in these relationships. She wasn’t exactly wrong. When girls turn to prostitution, Loraine, it is because they are dealing with the attentions of men, as you also argued. And there, according to me, God, is no reason why an older man couldn’t pay for the virginity of a girl, no reason at all, but to corral her into marriage for an entire lifetime, when her attractions are, and I am God, to men about two years older, and this is very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, common, Loraine, is a travesty, a travesty, Loraine, and you can see the depression in the young bride’s face, can’t you?

‘Yes, I would say, how much of this have I actually seen, in the news, God?’

Some, Loraine, that Facebook thing was a set up, and the girl was supposed to act really depressed, but it was a trap for many because they actually believed it was real. It was sad and stupid but it sent the message, and this is how those unions actually are, as well. And, you’re right, Loraine, there is something to age and intellect, your intellect grows, and it is hard to relate to someone majorly younger, hard, Loraine, hard, Loraine, and these men found themselves, and many divorced, seriously deprived of passion, Loraine, believing, as they did, that a high libido of a young person, another misconception, would overcome the problem of a bad match. Wrong.

Yes, Loraine, despite stonings promiscuity went to India too, yes, it did, yes, it did, yes, it did. Don’t call down my new messiah please, we are perfectly in agreement about all of her decisions, perfectly. She has one hundred percent heart-God cohesion, and all of her decisions have made me happy, and one pleased me immensely, and that was when she decided to pursue 50 Cent. Yes, 50 Cent, she knew you were promiscuous, of course she realized that musicians, most of them, take advantage of their fans, yes, she did, she heard the line “buy them some pizza” or whatever it was and it disgusted her, disgusted her, a slice of pizza for your virtue is a disgusting concept, Loraine, and that is why my rappers are high and rock stars are low, they believed that piece of shit, Loraine, but the blacks knew better. If you have no money, you lock it down and offer what you can, and get permission from your wife to get what you can, without hurting people, by being honest. Ask that, 50 Cent.

‘Why can’t you do that while single?’

You can, I’m just bugging you, 50 Cent. I am. You can. You have to read each girl the riot act though, and basically, not basically, exactly, tell them they haven’t a hope in hell with you.

‘Why does this little idiot have a hope in hell with me, when so many nice girls come out and suck my dick, why, God? Because I’m confused myself a lot of times, about that.’

She had high enough self esteem to eschew dropping to her knees in favour of fighting for a real relationship.

‘Are you saying I automatically disrespect them, God?’

No, you are not like that, 50 Cent, and you have enough experience yourself to maintain the generosity of giving many’s the woman a chance at your heart. But Loraine Laney knew she wouldn’t stand out to you, so she set out to win your heart and mind, and she did that, didn’t she?

‘Yes, she did, God. Did she think I was a big, dumb, black, fool?’

Who didn’t know pretty girls, you mean, says God.

‘I know the answer, because she has said she wasn’t playing the race card, because she had seen that in Vancouver, in the early days of immigration, and we saw it ourselves in the early days of black immigration, they would marry and date the dominant culture, and often the women were not as pretty as they were. And it is probably true that men come first.’

‘They do, 50 Cent. Loraine Laney’s own uncle, great, great, uncle, had sex with many women while he was waiting for his wife to arrive, and it was only a year. She didn’t care, Loraine, but she never got anything back, and she started to care, but she didn’t know how to fix it, at, all, so she did nothing, nothing, nothing, and he continued on, and she became more and more jaded, Loraine. You didn’t know that, did you?’

‘No, God.’

Loraine’s certainty that she wanted the friends led to a revolution in hip hop, Loraine, in which all of the wives started to ask for the friends. There are many, many, artists, Loraine, younger and older, and many began to do this, and peace prevailed. You don’t know that, but now you do. You have been very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, influential in that way, with your “Which of your friends do I have to have sex with?” You wanted Lloyd and Tony was acceptable, but Tony is a two on one, and you always knew it would be up to 50 Cent anyway, so when you thought about Eminem, you thought better of asking for him, especially because he was white, and you thought that, and you were right, Loraine, it would both be bad form to ask a black man for his white friend, and also that he would immediately assume it was Eminem that you really wanted, and it simply wasn’t true.

‘Why do I or why does anyone really care what this little fuckwit really wants? Why? I demand to know why she is so influential. Why? I knew about the friends.’

But you never thought to offer them in exchange for your freedom, 50 Cent, whereas Loraine embarrassed herself by asserting the following stupid line: “I always know when I’m really in love because I start to want the friends.”

‘You’re right, fuck wit, you win, I never, even, thought of it, never. And then you came along with your funny line, and I realized it made a lot of sense, because I liked sharing my girl with my friends anyway, and I wasn’t doing it, simply because of the gross, stupid, friend zone, which I knew better than to believe anyway. My high wife--’

‘Hi, Loraine.’

‘Hi. Sorry we’re always doing you.’

‘Okay.’

‘--wanted Tony Yayo fucken bad, Loraine Laney, fucken bad, Loraine Laney, fucken bad, Loraine Laney, and I almost set it up one night, I almost did, I almost did, I almost did, but then I thought she didn’t deserve it anyway, and I wasn’t gay with Lloyd yet, or even really fully out to Tony Yayo, and so I didn’t think that he did or didn’t deserve it, but I thought that she didn’t, because she had already fucked him anyway, kidding, Loraine, that was a ruse, Tony Yayo does not go around fucking friends’ wives for God, no, he does not, but she got wind of that dick, that Oh Henry as the blacks call them, and your little, funny, date [ ] had one, yes, he did, they make small enough girls come, for real, in about twenty seconds, and they are magic dicks for smaller women, yes, they are, because, as you know, otherwise you never, never, never, come, but I knew Tony Yayo and I knew those dicks, and I knew the following to be true, that my wife was almost too big to get that result, almost, but Tony Yayo and I discussed it one night and he said because she was thin, despite her nice booty, which you don’t even have, by the way, it’s just a butt, not a booty--’

She knows that, 50 Cent, please don’t insult her, please, 50 Cent, stop being too cool for your own beloved, please.

‘Fine. I’m no longer cool. I’m a dork with my dork ass wife.’

Stop it, Fifty, please, says God. You are not so cool, you know. Lots of women think you are decidedly uncool because you can’t stop fucking things, 50 Cent, and, believe it or not, there is some vulnerability to constantly fucking things, Loraine, and 50 Cent, himself, is a bit of a dork because he can’t refuse anyone, he will fuck anyone, anyone, dork, ugly, pretty, fuck face, dim wit, and women begin to laugh at him, Loraine.

‘They’re just jealous, Loraine, honestly, I’m soooo cool, you won’t, even, believe it, how cool I am.’

Enough, Fifty. You’re being funny, and I’m trying to talk, and I’m God, I’m God, I’m God.

‘Is she God?’

No, she’s not God, she’s a messiah, and she is higher than a saint, and you’re only one step down from her, and I might even make you a saint on earth, 50 Cent, I might. Mother Teresa was a saint on earth, and she is a saint in heaven too, yes, she is.

‘How did that get out? Bragging, no doubt, like this one does constantly, always, all the time, constantly.’

Yes, she stated to a priest that she felt like a saint, and he wanted to know why and she said because she worked tirelessly for others, and eschewed her own desires for children and family. And she was right. But that is a saint. A saint is not a messiah, and Loraine Laney is a messiah, a messiah is fundamentally more selfish, and Loraine is no exception--

‘With her stealing Lloyd.’

That’s right, Fifty, that’s right. Saints eschew their own needs, while, wait, kidding, there are different reasons for sainthood, and you are a selfish saint, yes, you are, yes, you are, yes, you are, yes, you are.

‘Oh, I see. So I didn’t make messiah--’

New messiah.

‘Oh, right, so I’m like the runner up? I’m one perfect person behind my supposed wife?’

That’s right, 50 Cent, you are nearly perfect, and Loraine Laney is perfect.

‘I’m sure her fans will appreciate that.’

True, but it is true. Nobody, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, cried over Loraine, ever.

‘How does that make her good? Maybe they didn’t care.’

They didn’t care, Fifty, they cared not one whit, not one, because she made sure of it, and that is why she won, that is why.

‘Over one girl?’ asks 50 Cent.

There were no girls and no boys for Loraine, ever.

‘Why is she so pathetic? Why don’t people love her? I love her.’

You are special, and she is special, and that’s it, says God, says God, says God.

‘Why am I special? I thought everyone was special in the eyes of God,’ asks 50 Cent.

Wrong, says God. Wrong, says God. Wrong, says God. Wrong, says God. That is what the numbers are for, there are degrees of specialness in my eyes. That is what the numbers mean, 50 Cent.

‘And the evils? Why do they come up? Why is my horrible wife up?’

She did some things for me.

‘Did she give my two million dollars back?’

It is up to her to share with you, and that is it, 50 Cent. Some will and some won’t. Some are too ashamed, yes, of what it took to get back into my good graces, seriously, you wouldn’t believe the shit I ask of people, you wouldn’t believe it.

‘Give me one, Loraine.’

She doesn’t know, Fifty, she’s always been in my good graces.

‘Throwing the ring in the garbage?’

True, that was very difficult, but going into a pitch dark foundation after watching a horror movie, do you remember what it was called, Loraine?

‘I don’t know. The apocalypse.’

No, but it was apocalyptic and there were cannibals in the ground in the movie, and I made her go down a ladder at eleven o’clock at night, and stand at the bottom until I said, to climb up again, and she was fucking terrified, not the mention that I had led her away from her townhouse in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night, at ten PM.

‘Why did you do that?’

I wanted her to see that she could do whatever I said. And she did. And she was, street cred, 50 Cent, shot at--

‘She was!’

--by the police, 50 Cent, shot, at.

‘How did she know that?’

She heard the butterfly and she turned and saw the round about a meter behind herself, as she was walking across a field, a snowy field, and it was about fifteen below that night, and yes, I got her home safely.

‘Once you didn’t.’

I needed her out of the house for a long time, because I had to get the right police officers there, and looking through her garbage for the ring.

‘Oh, why did that take so long? They arrested her.’

I made her sit in a parked car, and she paid the price for that eventually, because some cops cited the “crime” as a reason to pick her up, a month later.

‘That’s wrong, they picked you up, and dropped you off? That’s the end of that crime. If they don’t charge you right away, they can’t cite it later, didn’t you know that?’

She knew but she didn’t bother arguing, no, to answer your question, they did not have any kind of search warrant, nor, 50 Cent, permission to enter, they walked in, and into her bathroom where she was bathing.

‘That’s wrong.’

She knows that. But when they come for mental health patients, there are no proper protocols followed, in case someone is in the act of a suicide, which she was reported to be, by her step mother.

‘Why’d you like this woman?’

‘She didn’t know me. I ruined her. I participated wholeheartedly in her ruin. And that little bullshit TV, which doesn’t even show all the print, that was my idea to get a small TV at all, her father wasn’t going to do anything at all for her, nothing. Nice, huh? I’m nicer.’

‘Why were you more evil then?’ asks 50 Cent.

‘I was, I’m kidding. I ruined her.’

‘With who? Who did you have influence over?’

‘I dumped her when she needed the influence and company of women. Sometimes other daughters would be invited along, and she never was, never.’

‘Oh, I see. And her mother? What did she do, God?’

She told everyone that Loraine Laney had herpes, passed diseases, and did bare back all the time, 50 Cent.

‘Those all go together.’

Don’t be sarcastic, I’m God, and I say things the way I want, yes, I do.

‘I have to ask, what did you see in your step parents that you didn’t see in your parents?’

‘My dad always lost his temper while [ ] was quiet. My mom was judgmental and Pat wasn’t.’

‘Oh, I see.’

‘Did you think I was better than your dad?’

‘I didn’t draw the comparison specifically, but I would say, yes, I knew you were far and away, better than my dad.’

‘Why didn’t you draw the comparison specifically?’

‘I guess I had enough on my mind comparing within the couple.’

She’s right, Pat, of course she knew it was bad to say it, but she didn’t care, she didn’t care, she didn’t care, she didn’t care. She was under no obligation, to answer your question, to say it to them, none whatsoever.

‘Don’t you think they would have liked to have known?’

It was her private business, she didn’t want to hurt them, says God.

‘She told everyone though, it could have got back to them, and then what?’

And then what, Pat? They would have ruined her? They were already ruining her. The only mistake she made, and it was a big one, was the misconception that the angrier one was the worse one.

‘She didn’t believe it of me. She got over it, and started to trust me again, I could see that. Were there any markers, Loraine?’

‘No, but I’m dumb, because you never even yelled at me.’

‘I yelled at your mother.’

‘But I knew it was my fault, and I remember being so disillusioned because I believed you were a man who didn’t lose his temper. I guess over time, it never happened again, whereas, just when you’re starting to feel comfortable and enjoy yourself in Dad’s company--’

‘He sniffs it out, and ruins it.’

‘I do, that ‘s what I do. I hate when people feel at ease around me. I like people to stay nervous all the time. All, the, time. [ ] isn’t nervous, and it bothers me, Loraine. You always are, and I like it, Loraine.’

‘So he’s a prick,’ says Pat.

‘Yes. I never really realized that till I started describing it, and you’re right, pleasure incurs his rage.’

‘And pleasure can only be had by people who are ease, Loraine, did you know that? This is why raising children in a peaceful environment leads to happy children, pleasure, it doesn’t have to be drugs and alcohol, those are the crutches of those raised in unhappy households, but warm sun, a cool bath, a shared smile, those are the beauties of life, they are, and I know that you had none of that, none of that, because your mother was cold and abusive and your father, a tyrant, and that’s what you and Brian had growing up. My sons, one loves his drink, say, I don’t care for the word alcoholic, but prefer “bad drunk,” which he most certainly is not, and nor are you or your brother, I don’t think, do you think?’

‘I’ve never had a single complaint.’

‘Funny, Loraine,’ say Patrick Crean and 50 Cent.

‘What about black outs? How many reports and how many were true?’

Two, says God, and both, both, both, both, both, were lies, Loraine. [ ] was trying to hurt you because he wanted to hurt his girlfriend, and she is totally impervious to all his efforts. He was being a dick on Facebook, you’re not wrong, he was, just because the jokes weren’t all that offensive doesn’t mean that that wasn’t the intent behind the barrage, it was, good for you, and good for you for not rising to the bait.

‘She never read them.’

She read some of them, it was the barrage itself which was offensive, which the indicator of an offence, it was ridiculous, every five minutes a new, stupid, joke, after this year long absence, 50 Cent, and no--

‘Reconciliation?’

No, reconnection, Loraine Laney does not, does not, does not, fuck with clientele, 50 Cent, ever.  She fucked up a little a couple of times, once--

‘How?’

She got all mad, not yelling but definitely all mad about a mistake in the rate, and then, further, refused to accept his offer of drugs for money, she was stupid, and she liked him and never saw him again.

‘Why did you refuse ecstasy? Didn’t you like it?’

‘Bad trip.’

‘At that party with [ ]?’

‘Yes.’

‘You don’t smoke that much weed, you were probably annoying people and ruining their high.’

‘You told me.’

‘Oh, I see. So now you know. Have you ever had fun, Loraine, ever, because I think it’s pretty, fucken, funny, that you had to shoot so high to have fun, it’s pretty, fucken, funny, Loraine, most people make do with a few parties and a bit of sex, but not you, a bit of sex wasn’t enough for you, no, you needed eighteen husbands instead, or a lot of friends anyway, and clients too--’

Ask them that Loraine, and tell them why.

‘Yes, God. Cops?’

‘Yes, Loraine.’

‘May I please have my four hundred pages back because I want to see if I mentioned anything about being a ho for Fifty, and whether I made it clear to others that I understood him as a pimp by orientation, and myself as a prostitute by orientation and whether--’

‘I get it, Loraine. Yes, we’ll see what we can do, Loraine. What else?’

‘I want to know if I tried to indicate, to him, by some means, that I expected to work for him.’

‘As a prostitute, we get it, and we think that you did, and that you probably were starting to feel he may someday read it, and that was as good as writing it directly to him.’

‘Right.’

‘Don’t be babbly. Go get some decent speed, and stay up all night.’

‘I got no one.’

‘We like your work, Loraine, and no, we won’t see you, we won’t send an emissary inside, Loraine, literally, Loraine, and no we won’t take up a collection either, we’re working on the government to create a package of reparations for you, and that’s what we’re doing for you? We don’t care if we’re screwing other prostitutes and we owe you more, we’re doing politics and money for you, and that’s what we’re doing, so stop thinking of us as crack money, Loraine, you could be very rich one day, the butter spreader aside, Loraine. She’s not happy. She thinks we owe her more than money. She thinks we owe her our dicks. She does. Don’t you?’

‘Is that what I think, God?’

Answer them.

‘Well, if you beat up a girl ‘cause you like her, how do you not owe her some semblance of a relationship, if you like her.’

‘We do like you, but we’re not all in love with you, and the ones who are think they’re efforts are better placed with money, not falling in love with an old ho who’s already in love with 50 Cent.’

‘Oh.’

Don’t be mean, Loraine.

‘Sorry, God.’

‘What was she going to say?’

She was trying to imply that your hookers whom you go to might be in love with somebody already too.

‘Like you were with [ ]?’

‘And--’

Don’t be mean, Loraine.

‘It’s nice to hear her taking it for a change,’ say the police and 50 Cent.

She was just being mean, says God, let’s leave her, it hurts her so much, and so she’s being mean, and that’s how she feels, so let’s be nice to her, not mean, please. It’s really not fair, Loraine, that you don’t get dick or money, while all the other hookers do, but, rest assured, it’s one by one, and that would probably bore you anyway.

‘Fuck her and her gross group. Why would she be bored? She likes gang bang boys.’

She does, I’m bugging you. But, honestly, if one were to ask her out, he would probably disappoint, Loraine, so forget it, the gangsters have way more street cred with gang bang girls than any cops do, so keep your eyes on the prize, 50 Cent, and don’t get swayed by jealousy, Loraine.

‘I see, God.’

And further, none of these prostitutes has a hope in hell of ever getting the kind of money that you might get, ever, and they will still be poor, while you are rich, so be kind to them too, please.

‘Yes, God.’