#seriously these are the best apples i have ever had in my life

[wantonlywindswept]

Los Angeles/SoCal friends, let me tell you a thing:

You are within driving distance of the best goddamn apples you will ever taste.

Go to Montrose. I don't care how far away it is, go to Montrose. The farmer's market in Montrose is on Sunday. There is public parking.

Find yourself the stall for Ha's Apple Farm.

You know the stories about little tiny hole in the wall restaurants with like 3 tables, the most useless website you have ever seen, and the best food you've ever tasted in your life? Mr Ha is like that but for apples.

Find the stall. Buy the Fuji apples. There are no bad apples. Every apple in those boxes will be delicious.

He also sells stuff like apple butter and dried fruit and stuff. I have no interest in such things but I know that other people go crazy for that shit.

Do not buy the apple cider.

This is not because the apple cider is bad.

The apple cider is fucking delicious.

Do not buy the apple cider because he is always OUT OF APPLE CIDER, and if one of you gets hold of some before I do I will CRY UGLY TEARS. I HAVE BEEN WAITING WEEKS FOR HIM TO HAVE MORE APPLE CIDER AND HE IS ALWAYS OUT.

Do not buy the apple cider.

Pay the man. Enjoy the best Fuji apples you will ever consume.

You're welcome.

Apples are so fucked up you can get two from the same pile ans one tastes more like an apple than anything youve ever eaten and the other tastes like water poisoned by pharaohs

[findmeinforks]

The Incident - Paul Lahote x Fem!Reader

A little one shot that I just couldn't stop writing. A good angst to fluff (btw my fics will never be all angst, im too soft). Also do not fear, Im working on a Sam fic and part 3 to not letting you go. But you let ME know what you think of this one ❤️ 2K words

"My SISTER, Paul. She's my fucking SISTER!" you yelled, voice hoarse as your throat cracked.

"I could give a SHIT LESS WHAT SHE IS. YOU'RE. NOT. GOING." He screamed, jaw taut as he tried his best to subside the tremors that were threatening to take over his body.

You ignored the teeth he bared, shaking your head and scoffing.

"Aren't you tired of this?! I'm going over there. I HAVE to know she's safe."

"YOU SERIOUSLY THINK I'LL JUST SIT BY AND WATCH MY IMPRINT GO TO A PLACE WHERE I CAN'T PROTECT HER? WHAT ABOUT ME KNOWING THAT YOU'RE SAFE?? HUH?? YOU'RE SICK IF YOU THINK I WOULD BE OKAY WITH THIS!"

"Sick?!? SICK?!? LETS TALK ABOUT HOW 'SICK' IT IS THAT YOU WOULD WANT TO KILL HER AND THE BABY. THATS MY FAMILY PAUL!"

"AND WERE NOT?"

It had been like this for a week straight. Ever since the pack stormed through the door announcing their mission to kill Bella and the unborn child within her.

You felt as though your two families had been pinned against each other. Head spinning at the idea of there being a 'choice' between your sister and imprint.

On one hand you were desperate to make sure she was alright, but also exhausted at the never ending battle with your boyfriend.

Sure you had talked to Bella over the phone, but you didn't buy into the lies like your father had. Even though you knew significantly more than he did, she still attempted to downplay the situation. She had done this numerous times since getting thrown into the vampire world, but she could only keep you in the dark for so long before you unraveled the truth.

You had to see her. Even if it was the last time. By fate, or at the hands of the pack. You had to be there for her, as she would you.

Leaving your imprint though? Was at task challenging at best. On at least four different occasions you fought with Paul for so long that Emily and Sam had to intervene, prying you two apart at the pleads of other pack members.

Emily would console you while you ranted and Sam would make Paul run off his anger in the woods. When you faced him again, it turned into a rerun of the same argument. Nobody in the house had gotten sleep, and the things were progressively getting worse.

Quil came through the door, widening his eyes.

"Just a heads up everyone, a little comedic relief does not go over well. I saw my life flash before Paul's eyes." He huffed before sitting down.

"When is this going to be overrrr?" Embry whined. He shoved his head in his hands on the kitchen table while you and Paul went at it in the front yard.

Emily sighed.

"Unfortunately sooner than you think....Y/N packed her suitcase this morning." She said quietly.

"You're not really going to let her go over there are you?!?" Kim stood up, looking at both Emily and Sam.

"If you would like to stop her, please, be my guest." Sam motioned his hand to outside, where you and Paul could be seen through the window. You were throwing your arms up and pointing fingers at him, while his voice boomed loudly, towering his large frame over yours.

Kim winced.

You had always been the calm to Paul's raging storm. 'Made him all soft' as the guys would tease. None of them had actually seen you two disagree with each other. In the mind link they saw glimpses of minor arguments, most of the time being reconciled in the sheets..

Paul eventually got an order by Sam to think about something else while on patrol. 'Literally, anything else'.

"She's not going anywhere. I can count on my hand how many times they've been apart since he imprinted. They'll work it out eventually." Jared said as he pulled Kim on his lap, taking a hunk out of his apple.

Kim didn't share a look that she believed him, worriedly looking out to where you stood.

A few moments passed when her body stiffened and she gasped, making Jared look where she was.

"SHIT! SHIT!" He said, throwing Kim off his lap.

Sam turned to look out the window in time to see Paul phase, his sharp claw making contact with your skin. Your blood curdling scream instantly had everyone else off their seats, nearly knocking each other over to race outside.

You laid on the ground as your body wracked with sobs, clutching your side. Blood gushed through your hand as you started to panic, scrambling to stand. The large silver wolf only stood for a few moments before Paul shifted back, completely horrified as he frantically tried to reach you.

He felt his heart nearly rip out of his chest as you backpedaled into Emily, who was helping to hold you upright.

"NO! NO! GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME! IM DONE!" You cried.

Sam stood in the middle of the two of you.

Paul could feel his chest caving in, hand out, speaking more gently than he had at all in the past week.

"B-baby. Please. Please, I'm- I'm so sorry baby. Please let me just see-"

"NO! I'm done. I'm done. I'm leaving. I'm done." You repeated like a mantra, limping to the car.

"Y/N you cannot drive like this..." Emily attempted to say as she stepped in from behind you. She could see your anxiety was heightened, and afraid to set you off further.

"I have to go," you choked, on the verge of tears as you tried to open the drivers side. You had yet to even notice the gash in your side, adrenaline pumping wildly through your body.

Paul made his way around Sam, grabbing your other arm that was holding the door.

"You are crazy if you think I'm letting you leave like this. Please come-"

You yanked your arm from his grasp.

"Don't. Let me go!" You said coldly.

Paul froze. He couldn't move. You never spoke to him like this. Even in the numerous fights you two had this week.

Every single instinct in his body needed to help you. He knew you were downplaying your injuries. He knew he just royally fucked everything up. But the absolute last thing you could do was walk into a house full of vampires dripping in blood. Fucking doctor or not.

"Come inside and let me take a look at you, okay? Please." Emily said to coax you, frantically looking at your wound.

This made Sam follow her gaze, looking down to see the blood pouring from your side hadn't stopped, and you were growing paler by the minute.

"Y/N....you're going to stay here and I'll call Sue." He said in an authoritative voice, leaving no room to argue as he turned to start dialing the number.

You almost argued. You almost fought both of them on the subject. Your stubbornness almost won.

But you felt an immense pain. So strong you don't know how the hell you didn't notice it when you stood up.

That couldn't be good.

"....Y/N?" Paul said, barely above a whisper. Tears were now silently streaming down his face as he held both hands out slightly. Not close enough to touch you but to be prepared in case you fell.

You could feel yourself start to float in and out of consciousness. You tried to ground yourself by focusing on something. You looked at his hands that were outstretched.

Those hands that you held on your first date. The hands that hover your back anywhere you go. The hands that lift you up from the couch on movie nights to bring you to bed. The hands that move in just the right way when making love to you. The hands that were now shaking, not out of anger, but fear. You loved those hands.

"Y/N? Baby?" Paul said louder, more urgently as he could see you fading.

You watched him get blurry as the world started to spin.

"Paul," you murmured, before fading into darkness. The last thing you remember were the hands that caught you before you hit the ground.

"Y/N!!!" Paul screamed as he caught your body falling into him.

Sam ran back, telling him Sue was just up the street. He instructed Paul to carry you inside and onto the bed. The pack dispersed, each trying to find something to help you such as towels, an emergency kit and pillows.

Paul held you close as he lay you down, while repeatedly whispering in your ear.

"I'm so sorry baby. I'm so-so sorry. I cant lose you. Youre everything to me. I'll never yell at you again. I swear on my life. You can do whatever you want. I'll do whatever you want. Please, I love you." Paul pressed kisses to your hairline when Sue and her nurse friend entered.

Jared reluctantly came in behind them to lead Paul out of the room as they worked.

"Come on man, she'll wake up soon I promise."

After he was guided out, Paul slid down to sit on the other side of the door, refusing to move. Jared didn't push it, leaning down to sit next to him.

"Sue's seen this kind of stuff before. Just needs stitching up and stuff," Jared reassured as he put his hand on Paul's shoulder.

"It's not the injuries I'm worried about. So much as what she'll think of me when she wakes up. I....I fucked this one up, Jare."

"If Emily can forgive Sam, I think Y/N will forgive you. She's crazy about your ass."

Paul just nodded, praying he was right.

~

Your eyes fluttered open slowly as you woke. You looked around to see that you had been bandaged up along your left side, an IV attached to your arm sat close by. You attempted to sit up, whining when the pain wouldn't allow it. Within a few minutes Emily entered, her face showing relief.

"You're up! How are you feeling?" She checked the IV before sitting on the edge of the bed, careful of your body.

"Sore...where's, where's Paul?" Your heart ached as you started to replay what happened. There was no doubt in your mind what happened was an accident. You had seen the signs he always warned you about, and chose to ignore them in the heat of the argument. Not only that, but the look on his face when you had refused him was too much to bare.

Emily smiled, not expecting you to want to see him so soon.

"He's just outside the door. Hasn't moved. He didn't know if you'd want to see him..."

"I need to talk to him."

It hadn't even been a few seconds when Paul stood at the door. He looked more out of shape than you did. The disheveled hair and dark circles under his eyes told you he hadn't slept in days.

"I'll give you two some space. Just holler if you need anything," Emily spoke as she stood up, making her way around him and down the stairs.

Paul remained where he stood,

"If you don't want to be with me I understand. I have no words for my actions other than I am so...." he cleared his throat, trying not to cry. "So incredibly sorry I put you through this. I put you in danger when I was trying to keep you out of it. You don't have to stay I-"

"Paul please just kiss me." You interrupted, not wanting to hear the rest as you already made up your mind in forgiving him.

He stood for just a moment longer, trying to comprehend if he heard you correctly. It was when you weakly opened your arms for him that he wasted no time in rushing over to you, cupping your face and gently yet passionately kissed you with everything he had. Tears flowed his cheeks at the relief that you still wanted him. Even after everything he had put you through.

You two pulled back for air after a moment, and you ran your hand through his hair.

"I forgive you, okay? I can't imagine my life without you."

He let out a breath, smiling for the first time in weeks.

"It will never happen again. I swear on my fucking life baby." He caressed your hair, neck, landing his palm on your heart.

You two sat like that for awhile. Almost scared to leave each other's presence. You two talked for hours on the bed. Paul had confessed that the night before, while you were sleeping, the pack had fought with the Cullens. You learned that Paul refused to go, not wanting to leave your side. You were grateful to hear that Sam didn't push on him being there, knowing you were all that mattered to him, and he'd refuse him if he had too. Even if it went against his every instinct as a wolf. Turns out that Jacob had imprinted on your niece, and Bella had survived, now as a vampire.

You weren't particularly thrilled your sister was now a bloodsucker, but as long as she was alive, you were happy.

Paul eventually made his way to the other side of the bed, kissing every exposed inch of you, whispering all the things he loved about you in your ear until you fell asleep.

When your heartbeat slowed down and he was sure you were out, he reached down and felt the velvet box in his pocket. No doubt in his mind about the future you both held.

[toto-the-cactus]

Primarchs + Daughters

My perception of how each Primarch would behave when nosediving into parenthood if they had daughters. Enjoy!

I wanna personally thank @moodymisty because a great deal of their works inspired this piece.

Part 1 - Part 2

Lion El’jonson

The embodiment of 'tough love' made man. Having a daughter doesn’t do much to soften this guy… or at least that’s what others believe. The Dark Angels Legion are probably the only ones aware of the small gestures the Primarch often gives to his little girl in the safety that privacy offers. Where Lion lacks words of compassionate and parental love, he appropriately makes up for it with actions. He isn’t one to go over the top and prefers to give modest gifts to his daughter as the last thing the man wants is to raise a spoiled brat. Father-daughter bonding time can be summarized with strenuous training using the sword. This man will not let his precious Princess go through life without learning how to protect herself, even if he has made an oath to forever shield her too.

Fulgrim

The complete antithesis of Lion. Where this man views the Emperor as the perfection anyone should strive to reach, his beautiful daughter comes close to the second place in fulfilling that ideal. There’s a big fat chance that he teared up a little when his little gem called him Papa for the first time, but managed to wear his ever unshakable mask because he absolutely refuses to break character even in private. Has the mistaken notion that his baby is a blank canvas ready to be painted to its fullest potential; aka, molding her to what HE wants and expects of her. Fulgrim probably spoils her rotten but only through conditions that she must follow, as the Primarch understands the importance of fighting and earning for what you wish to obtain. He makes sure that any of his gene-sons are in her company as he refuses to let even a single scratch happen to his little girl. Honestly, a grown-up version of Fulgrim’s child has the chances to go both opposites of the spectrum with no in betweens: A shy aristocratic lady who is unable to speak her own mind or a completely haughty, sharp and manipulative noble woman. Too much to unpack there, yo.

Perturabo

(Slaps this bastard's head loudly) This bad boy can fit so much family trauma in it! Okay no but seriously, there’s a good reason why so many people agree that this bitch has a thing for gilded cages and all the fucked up poetry that comes with it. The good ol’ classic Greek tragedy of Medea. Perturabo may have big and insane expectations for his gene-sons but when it comes to having a daughter? The apple of his eyes. The sunshine of his life. For this Primarch, his little princess is the only living thing in the entire universe that loves him genuinely and unconditionally, making his love the equivalent of a child crushing a bird between his hands. While still easy to anger and with a resting-bitch face, he is incredibly tame and careful with his girl; always making sure that she is well versed in all kinds of science and engineering that could easily label her as a genius (but we all know how stressful can be to try and live up to big expectations). Most of his Legion finds the child either an annoyance or don’t even care enough beyond the factual point of her being the child of their mighty Primarch, beyond that? This poor girl is probably the loneliest child to ever grace the world. Remember that I referred to this like the Tragedy of Medea? Yeah…

Jaghatai Khan

Probably one of the few best papa-tier out there. This man will see his little daughter and think the only thing a good parent should do: To love and guide. He’ll be not afraid to say “I love you” to his baby girl no matter where they are, but he’ll know when to be stern and wise so she grows to be a fine and humble woman. Honestly, this guy would learn how to make a sling just for the single purpose of having his precious princess close while also being excited to teach her how to ride on a horse like he did in his childhood. The thing that makes this dude the best in this list is that if his daughter ever expresses to follow a different path in life like becoming a remembrancer or anything that doesn’t involve the Imperium, this Chad of a man will look deep into her eyes and tell her that he’ll support her no matter what. The only thing he asks is that she stays in contact as he’ll miss her terribly. Kudos to him, fr.

Leman Russ

Another one for the ‘tough love’ guys list, yo! On his defense! Hear me out… in his defense, this guy was literally raised first by Fenrisian wolves before even knowing what a proper bath entailed, so of course he’ll sometimes be a bit too much on his poor little baby girl. Roughhousing was his best first approach to teach her how to fight, trying to make his little pup have some proper backbone worthy of being called the child of a Primarch. Sometimes he’ll get carried away (either with words or actions) and is in those moments when Leman would learn what genuine and heavy guilt feels like; a very alien emotion for someone as brutal and fierce as he is. There’s no worse feeling than knowing that you are the reason behind your daughter’s tears. No one would ever say it out loud, but the way this giant of a man apologizes is by slowly and silently hugging his little girl while pouting until she hugs him back. He may suck at expressing verbally his love towards his baby, but actions are his best way to communicate and this is something his daughter eventually learns and accepts from him. Forgot to add that the entire Space Wolves Legion are not only suffocatingly protective of their Primarch’s child, but everyone takes turns when she asks them for piggy-rides or let her braid their hair.

Rogal Dorn

I don’t wanna be too mean to this poor man but lord have some mercy, trying to squeeze any emotion that doesn’t range to watching paint dry from this damn guy is already a miracle on its own. He’s probably the kind of dude that’ll leave his poor daughter in the care of his astartes and serfs while he works. Workaholic in bold, yo. It literally will take watching his poor little princess cry her eyes out for him to attempt some bonding time but man he just sucks at trying not to have a stick up his ass (Again, I’m not trying to be mean but god this is painful). This is the kind of man, besides Guilliman, that will search high and low for some paternity books to help him. At the end this father-daughter relationship can be salvageable by having a heart to heart between them both and even then, is the poor girl the one that gives more than she receives. Honestly, any daughter from Dorn has the patience of a saint. Besides this Primarch's ineptitude to properly communicate his feelings, everything else doesn’t change the fact that he loves his little princess and will do anything to make her as happy as possible so he gets some brownie points for the try.

I'll later write the second and third part of this, I swear <333

[helluvapoison]

First Date Time At LuLu World

Lucifer Morningstar x Reader

Lucifer smoothed any creases from his ivory suit and checked his hair four times in the nearby reflection. He wasn’t nervous! He just… needed tonight to go well. It’s the first date he’s had in years— or it might technically be his first date in history? Everything happened so fast with Lilith! He can’t remember if he ever properly asked her on a date. They did end up getting married though, so it worked out… until it didn’t. Fuck, there’s a lot of pressure on this now

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ

• Steeling his nerves in place before he lost them, he allowed his knuckles to tap “the shave and a hair cut” on your door

• His smile (and ego) tripled in size when you opened it not a moment after. For the sake of his restless mind he let himself picture you waiting in anticipation on the other side, dreaming you might be just as excited as he was helped him a bit

• Lucifer twisted his cane in one hand and offered you his other, “Are you ready for the best night of your life?”

• “Hm, that’s a big expectation,” You reply playfully, bypassing his hand and hugging onto his arm, “Are you sure a theme park will live up to all that?”

• He scoffs and rolls his eyes but inwardly he’s hyper aware of the new proximity you’ve granted him, “LuLu World is not just any theme park! It’s my theme park. I designed and built it with my two hands!”

• “And maybe a tablespoon of magic?”

• “A teaspoon, at most.” He winks

• Your laughter was delightful, a sign that the night was starting off perfect. He just hoped it would end the same way

• LuLu World was big and chaotic, sending every sense you had buzzing with adrenaline and you hadn’t even done anything yet!

• Lucifer’s stuck for a solid minute just reveling in your awe. You like it! He made this and you already like it!

• He drags out of your stupor by pulling you to the teacups. He has one hand on his hat to keep it from flying while the other attempts to help you spin the wheel

• After Devil’s Drop (a terrifying 500ft plunge) you begged to go into the Haunted Dollhouse. Lucifer of course indulged you but couldn’t hide his boredom. Nothing here would scare him. He doubled over in laughter when a real ghost made you jump though

• The two of you rotated turns picking and choosing what to do next after that

• Giga coasters with butterfly loops, swings that went backwards, bumper cars, a massive carousel with actual unicorn horns— LuLu World had it all!

• Lucifer was bouncing in place, excitedly watching you bite into an infamous LuLu World caramel apple when he noticed how dark it had gotten

• He’d long forgotten his plan to make everything perfect and the schedule he was supposed to keep you on

• “H-Hey let’s go on the ferris wheel! Like right now!”

• You hardly have a moment to swallow the crunchy treat, asking with a full mouth, “Right now?”

• “Right now!” He repeats seriously with a tight smile

• The line would be ridiculously long, everyone likely had the same idea he had. But he had it first! He was the king and the owner, shamelessly walking past the line of sinners and straight to the front

• He flashes the operator a warning glare when they try to tell you to throw away your carmel apple

• (To his dismay you take a final, ridiculously large bite and toss it anyways, not wanting to start a fuss)

• “Hey this is a date right?” You asked while the two of you waited for the ride to officially start, sitting in a slow rotation while the empty carts filled up below

• Lucifer jolts, “Of course it’s a date! Why-why would you not think it is? Is it no lt date-y enough—“

• “I was just checking! Wanted to make sure it’s ok to do this,” You reply quickly and slip your hand under his own, lacing your fingers together with his

• Can panic and relief hit him simultaneously? He felt his nerves vibrating, deciding whether to spike or settle down

• You clearly see him internally struggling and attempt to break the silence casually, “I still can’t believe you made all this. It’s really impressive. I’m having a lot of fun with you. But I always do.”

• His brows jump, crimson eyes sparkling with delight at that, “You do?”

• “Of course I do! We could be surrounded by nothing but rocks and you’d find a way to make it entertaining.” You say with a laugh

• Joining in your mirth, he chuckles and squeezes your hand slightly

• A thunderous boom echoes in the air and makes you jump

• “Right on time!” Lucifer’s grin widens

• Colors pop and flower in the night sky with loud cracks! Some form shapes or spell short words

• Lucifer’s so immersed by the firework show he forgot he wanted to see your reaction to them. When his eyes flit to you he sees you’re ignoring them, gaze completely fixed on him in total adoration

• Your spare hand steals his cheek and guides his face closer with ease. Just as a firework explodes in the near distance, his lips meet yours

• Lucifer shares the sentiment with a giggle when you part, “Fireworks.”

• You laugh before kissing him again

• Safe to say his first date was a massive success

~

╰(*´︶`*)╯♡ big sad so i quickly wrote smthn to cheer me up, i hope everyone enjoys

[sjyuns]

BE MY VALENTINE?┆AISHETERU

written part below the cut!

You can’t believe he’s actually here.

Standing between you and Sunghoon.

Arms linked with the both of you.

And you can’t help but feel a heavy weight of regret mount on your shoulders. You should have known that Jake was one who took jokes seriously, and you shouldn’t have ever planted the sheer idea that he could join you if he found out which restaurant you and Sunghoon were going to — given Jake Sim is a man full of mystery.

You peer at your boyfriend (fake boyfriend), guiltily tuning out the chatter of the third wheel, sad to barely have the chance to talk to Sunghoon since the start of the date.

The all black outfit suited him perfectly, the glasses that was perched on the bridge of his nose complimenting the sharp features that adorned his face. And you can’t help but feel your heart exhilarate just by looking at your best friend.

You think that it’s a wonder how you’ve never seen him like this before. Having him as a boyfriend, albeit a fake one, showcased to you a different side of him — one that you have never noticed. The way he would constantly check in on you, accompany you throughout the night if you had trouble sleeping, feeding your wretched obsession with mario, and most of all bring you on incomparable dates. He was the perfect companion, and above all, he knew you like no one did.

“You okay, love?” Sunghoon’s voice breaking your train of thought, “you look tired today.”

You hum and nod you head in response, only to be cut off by a certain someone. “Wait y’all are actually dating?”

You give Jake an ominous glare, “we’re aren’t.”

“Then why did he just call you love? Or was he talking to me?” Jake questions, his head tilting as he looks at the both of you in suspicion. “I mean, it would make sense if you’re dating, cause the both of you always go out everyday. And, Sunghoon has had a crush on you since — OW!” Jake yelps, his flurry of worlds getting cut off by a loud slap on his back by Sunghoon.

You squint at the two of them, “i didn’t really catch the last part, what did you say?”

“Nothing important,” Sunghoon quickly answers, an innocent smile on his face as his friend continues to mutter a string of curse words under his breath.

You swear your ears weren’t tricking you — Jake just said that Sunghoon has had a crush on you…right? Since when? and you feel the apples of your cheek get warmer under the dim moonlight.

All you have to do now is get Jake Sim to spill.

PREVIOUS ┆ MASTERLIST ┆ NEXT

MIKAELA’S! it’s supposed to mean ‘THIS MAN IS DANGEROUS’☺️ but i love you too jake sim

SYNOPSIS! it’s the month of love, yet you only have one thing in mind — to get your crush to like you back. armed with a mission, you deploy your best friend Park Sunghoon as your fake boyfriend to make him jealous. one tiny problem, Sunghoon’s desperately in love with you and he can’t seem to keep his own jealousy at bay.

TAGLIST 1! @seongclb @jlheon @euncsace @aeuns @mirustardiary @beomgyusonlywife @thesunoosshining @makiswrld @imsiriuslyreal @mrchweeee @enha-stars @sakiimeo @enhaz1 @en-dream @jiaant11 @hoonven @strawberrysavi @semisemirin1i82 @firstclassjaylee @fakeuwus @dilrmma @eleanorheartschishiya @yizhoutv @nyuloverforeternity @woninluv @astrae4 @hexoolio @www-jungwon @pockyyasii @ilovemangograham @isoobie @lcv3lies @forlovvers @enhahah @yenqa @haechansbbg @strayy-kidz @sparklingsjy @jungwonsjellies @nyfwyeonjun @artstaeh @rikisly @delulu4-life (OPEN)

[solkatt-arts]

Introducing some of my nextgen ponies! I made them back in 2018 and these were drawn back in 2022. Newer art is in progress ^^

Turning Gear: Inventor with some impressive magical abilities. He is intelligent but the most awkward guy you'll ever meet. He is curious and together with Time Twister he often get into trouble. Starlight has tried and failed to tame his bird's nest of a mane but to no avail.

Classic Remix: A radio host on the shyer side. She feels safe sitting behind a mic but is more withdrawn in public. She likes to dye her mane to add a splash of color to her otherwise gray appearance. Remix has a great singing voice but is too shy to sing for a crowd. She got her cm for specializing on remixing classical music, something she came to love due to her moms' frequent collabs. She shares her music on her radio show.

Lightshow: Expert at creating light shows with her magic. She works as a light “technician” of sorts on live performances. Lately she has been helping Honeycrisp Melody out on her tour. Lightshow is enthusiastic, determined and competitive. One of her favorite things to do is play hoofball with her best friend Fastlegs.

Fastlegs: Sports coach for foals of all ages. Advocates for inclusion and love to teach. He lost his left wing to cancer and had a hard time coming to terms with his new life being flightless. He is the kindest most genuine stallion around. To feel more at ease Fastlegs moved to Ponyville to be closer to his best friend Lightshow and get away from all the expectations he felt back in Cloudsdale.

Honeycrisp Melody: Country singer with a heart of gold. She is a true Apple and loves to help around the farm whenever she can. She is optimistic, excitable and social. She loves to brawl with her cousin Candid Apple and guest star on Classic Remix's radio show. Melody is rather short and unlike most Apples, not as sturdy in her build. She inherited her pegasi traits from Rara's side of the family.

Blazing Hooves: Dedicated firefighter. He is highly empathic and takes his job very seriously. Blaze can be somewhat of a party pooper due to his dedication but his baby sister can usually make him ease up a bit. He wanted to become a firefighter as a colt after his family home burned down and his sister lost one of her legs in the fire.

Time Twister: Time traveler…?👀 She is sassy and confident, as well as dramatic and a smartass. She loves to create just enough of a chaos to stay entertained in her day to day life. One of her favorite pastimes is giving magical items to Gear to tinker with. The occasional explosion is the highlight of her day.

Princess Theory: An elegant and dutiful draconequus with a knack for getting into wacky situations. She loves to pull pranks and be generally annoying. Theory has a pretty dark sense of humor but just like her father she is very charming in her ways. Her parents have passed some impressive magical abilities down to her but her favorite trick is to teleport. She has ADHD.

Candid Apple: Works on Apple Acres. He is talkative, kind, family orientated and has a severe sweet tooth. Candid loves to bake apple treats when he isn’t working the land. His favorite cousin is Melody whom he grew up with on the farm.

Zerina: Librarian for the royal family. She is kind of messy and forgetful outside of work but she's incredibly sweet. She’s humble and generous. Zerina is autistic and her special interest is Equestrian history. Due to her expertise she got the job as the head librarian in the royal library where she can study all the archived materials as she pleases. She is a close friend of princess Theory whom happens to be neurodivergent herself.

Rockslide Pie: Rodeo performer. He is clumsy, silly and tends to fumble on his words. He is bold in his performances.. There is nothing he likes more than to entertain and make others laugh, something he got to discover through his aunty Pinkie.

Not pictured:

Snow Quartz: Artist specializing on ice sculptures. She is the younger sister of Blazing Hooves but unlike her big brother she is calm and relaxed most of the time. She is spontaneous and easygoing. She's witty around her brother and likes to joke with him (on his expense). Her missing leg doesn’t bother her at all.

[rip-quizilla]

Heartbreaker (Eddie Does Drag for Charity)

@corrodedcoffinfest Day 10: Pride

Tags: supportive band mates, gay Jeff, drag queen Eddie Munson, brief Rockie reference

WC: 994

Divider was created by @strangergraphics

“When does he go on?” Grant asked Gareth, leaning over Jeff from where they stood around a table in the crowded club. The music was loud enough that Grant had to practically yell for Gareth to hear him. 

“He told me he’d be going third!” Gareth yelled back to him, eyes alight with anticipation. Admittedly, Gareth had never in his life thought he’d ever be excited to be in a gay bar, but stranger things had certainly happened. 

Weirdly enough, Jeff seemed to be the least comfortable one at the table. His smile seemed a bit more forced than usual as his eyes darted around the room.

“Jeff, you good buddy?” Gareth asked, “I would’ve thought you’d feel right at home here.”

“Being gay doesn’t mean I suddenly want to hang out at dance clubs, you know.” A cringe took up residence on Jeff’s face as he took note of a nearly naked man in shiny boyshorts swiveling his hips to some upbeat song that played through the speakers. “No judgment to the people who enjoy this stuff, but it’s just not my scene.” Pink and purple spotlights illuminated the stage then, signaling that the show was about to begin. 

“God, it was nuts back there. Pun intended.” Robin sighed when she joined the boys at their table. “Do you guys know what tucking is? I didn’t. I do now. Could have gone my whole life without that mental image but now it’s burned into my brain.” 

Grant’s confusion was evident on his face, to which Gareth subtly shook his head in a silent  Later, buddy. Don’t get her started. 

“Any issues though?” Gareth asked, “ With Eddie, I mean.” Robin was about to answer before a tall, beautiful drag queen took the stage and introduced themself as the host for tonight’s charity drag show.

Robin waited about twenty seconds into the host’s introduction before discreetly whispering her answer to Gareth. “Vickie said Eddie’s look is some of her best work, if that answers your question. She’s been working with Eddie every day for at least a week; apparently he’s taking this really seriously!” 

“On behalf of the Indy Pride committee, I want to sincerely thank all of you for coming out tonight!” The host continued, “100% of tips collected tonight will be donated to local charities benefitting LGBTQ+ youth, so let’s give all our performers a round of applause!”

Grant, Gareth and Jeff may all have originally shown up tonight to bear witness to what may very well be their frontman’s most blackmailable performance to date, but at this moment they couldn’t help but feel a swell of pride for Eddie as they cheered. He took his preparations for tonight seriously because he believed in why he was doing it. He had built his friends a refuge from those that judged them, bullied them, called them freaks- Eddie Munson had always been in the business of giving outsiders a place to call their own; same show, different stage.

The host went on to introduce the first queen- a dentist who, for tonight only, had dubbed himself ‘Ruta Canal’. After the dentist was a high school theater teacher whom the host introduced as ‘Apple Bottoms’. Judging by the sheer amount of ear-splitting screams, it was safe to assume that a large group of his students had shown in support of their teacher. 

“Now folks,” the host began, “Our next queen is no stranger to the stage. For tonight only, the leading man of local metal band Corroded Coffin is… M&M!”

Gareth tilted his head toward Robin as he applauded. “Why M&M?”

Robin gave him a withering smile. “He said it stood for Munson Magic.” Gareth replied with a snort as the applause faded away to reveal a familiar progression of drums and guitar. When Eddie emerged, the boys could hardly believe their eyes.

In his unflinching commitment to the song he’d chosen to lip sync to (it hadn’t taken long for the boys to recognize it as Heartbreaker by Pat Benatar), Eddie had donned a skin-tight unitard that practically painted his every curve with purple zebra print, bright red heels and a red belt to match. He hadn’t needed a wig, since his hair was already long and luscious enough to be the envy of any popstar. Now that his locks framed a face painted with lipstick, eyeshadow, and penciled thin eyebrows that had been drawn atop his glued-down natural brows, Eddie’s haircut suddenly looked more feminine than it usually did. 

Eddie, ever the showman, left everything on the stage from beginning to end for the entire performance. His facial expressions were larger than life, bringing his infectious energy into every word Pat sang through the speakers. The audience ate up every second of it, tossing bill after bill onto the stage for Eddie to collect- each one was teasingly stashed into the fake breasts he wore under his unitard. By the time he was only halfway through his performance, his entire neckline was fringed in green.

He was only onstage for the beginning and the end of the song, spending the rest of the performance strutting amidst tables where patrons stood. Eddie saved his bandmates’ table for last, making sure to embarrass them the most- grinding up on Gareth one second and hiking a leg up on Grant the next. He didn’t subject poor Jeff to the same treatment, but he certainly couldn’t help himself from blowing him a kiss before returning to the stage just in time for Vickie to emerge from backstage with- to everyone’s surprise- his electric guitar. Eddie finished the final few bars of the song on his warlock, shredding through the notes live as the entire bar went absolutely wild. As the song drew to a close, he slid to his knees at the front and center of the stage, face contorted with focus and exhilaration until the final note rang out into the crowd’s thunderous applause.

[gleefullypolin]

The Sex Rule by GleefullyPolin

Read on AO3

For as long as Penelope Featherington could remember she had lived across from Colin Bridgerton. She had been born 4 days and 16 hours after her childhood friend Eloise Bridgerton and resided on Royal Crescent Lane where she had spent her entire childhood life quietly pining after her older Bridgerton brother.  After graduating college, she moved into an apartment directly across the hall from Colin who helped her get an internship at Danbury Tells All magazine where he also worked, as a writer on his own travel column.

As long as she could remember, it had always been Pen and Colin, Colin and Pen, best friends, who were destined to be tied together for life.

~*~

Pen was digging through the cabinet when she heard the front door swing open. She didn’t even stop searching for her skillet before yelling out. “Seriously, do you even knock anymore?”

“What would be the point in that.” Colin scoffed, kicking the door shut behind him. “Do you have any sugar?”

She stood up quickly, “what on earth do you need sugar for?” She couldn’t imagine Colin baking after the last time he set the kitchen on fire trying to bake a cake for Samantha Stewart. It wasn’t that he couldn’t cook, it was that he got distracted so easily that he most often forgot to pay attention.

“I’m baking, obviously.”

She put her hands on her hips and raised her brow. “Colin Bridgerton? That is your name, right? The same Colin Bridgerton who needed to sleep on my couch for a month the last time he baked.”

“Very funny!” He pushed past her and dug through the cabinet, pulling the sugar down to pour the granules into a container.

“What’s her name this time?” She blew a stray tendril of red hair out of her face.

“Berry? Cherri? Shit, I forgot which one I invited over tonight.” He shrugged, “No matter, she wants cookies.”

“You can’t be serious. Names are important you twat.”

“It’s something to do with fruit, maybe.” He scrunched his brow. “Apple?”

“The fruit or her name?”

“Her name”, he said with a smirk. He turned and walked back to the door, carrying his prize in his hands, a successful smile on his face.

“Don’t forget the picnic tomorrow.” Pen yelled before turning back to her search for her skillet.

He stopped. “Shit! Which item are you taking?”

Pen laughed, of course he forgot. “Potatoes. I figured I’d make that dish your mom likes.”

“And…. what was I….” He said slowly.

She grinned. “You have no idea what they told you to bring, do you?”

“Of course, I know…” He said with a boyish grin.

“And I’m sure you already have it in your fridge, ready to go.”

“Well, no. How many years have we been doing this, Pen? We both knew I was going to forget, and we both know that whatever it is that I’m supposed to be bringing is already prepared and currently packed away in your fridge. I’m just the driver.” And with that he walked out the door, slamming it shut.

“I hate you, Colin Bridgerton!” She yelled toward the closed door.

She could hear him sing back, “You love me, Penelope Featherington!”

And dammit, she did. That was her life curse. Loving Colin Bridgerton with no chance of him ever returning the sentiment.

~*~

Pen took a deep breath and opened the door. She summoned her courage, stepping into the hallway, placing the can on the ground, and wedging it in the door frame as she quickly carried the trash bag to the end of the hallway, dropping it down the chute. She wiped her hands on her pants and headed back to her apartment, pausing as she passed Colin’s door. She could hear music on the other side and voices. She didn’t know why she was torturing herself. She leaned against the door, her ear taking in the sounds on the other side. She could hear Colin’s voice, low, and dark.

Then an annoying squeal and a moan. Oh God.

She backed up quickly, tripping and kicking the can away that was propping open her door, the sound of it slamming shut behind her resonating in her ears.

Fuck.

Why did she never carry her damn keys with her?

She thought about sitting outside her door for the next…how long would it take for them to finish whatever they were doing on the other side of the door? 30 minutes? An hour? Fuck she really didn’t want to think about how long Colin could last on the other side of that door with whatever he was doing to whoever this girl with the fruit name was.

“Oh, my Colin.”

Ok, maybe she could wait 20 minutes.

“Yes! Yes! Yes!”

Ok she’d give them another 5 minutes! Her jaw clenched at the thought.

“Oh God! Yes Colin, right there!”

UGH! NO! That was quite enough of that! She stood and knocked loudly on the door! She could hear shuffling on the other side.

“Just ignore it, I’m sure they will go away.” She heard Colin mumble. For God’s sake why was he like this?

She grabbed her phone and quickly found the contact CB in her phone.

Locked out! Be a dear and remove yourself from whatever body part is causing her to screech like that before I rip my ear drums out!

Her ringtone rang out through the apartment. You’ve got a friend in me. You’ve got a friend in me. The Toy Story theme flooded her ears and Pen couldn’t help but laugh.

She heard a thud on the other side. “One sec, be right back.”

“Colin, where are you going?”

The door opened and Pen swallowed hard at the sight of Colin standing in the doorway, his hard naked chest staring her in the face, a sheet draped around his lower torso, just low enough that it wouldn’t take much imagination for her to…. Fuck!

“How many times have I told you not to prop that door open?”

She had to will her eyes to meet his. Stop ogling your best friend, Pen! She reminded herself. “Can you just open the door so you can get back to…”

He smirked and she wanted to punch him anywhere that would wipe it off his face. He crossed the hall and clicked his key into the knob, turning it to open the door. Of course he couldn’t just get out of her damn way, he had to stand there looking like a damn Greek God, his arm blocking her path into her apartment.

“Thanks.” She grimaced. “Sorry for uh…” She ducked under his arm to try and escape this conversation.

“That’s what I’m here for Pen, always your hero.” They were so close in that moment that she almost forgot she was keeping him from nocturnal activities with another woman.

“Colin…”

Almost…

“Oh sorry….” Pen spoke quickly and then admonished herself for looking like a cat who just ate a canary. It’s not like she had any reason for feeling like they were doing anything wrong. She was just standing in the hallway with her half naked best friend, gawking at him.

“Hey um…” He stared at the woman standing in his doorway draped in his bedsheets.

Jesus Christ, he still doesn’t know her name, she realized. She rolled her eyes. “Sorry about that.” She interrupted. “I got locked out and well Colin has the…”

“Spare…” he held up the key in his hand and the woman narrowed her eyes in his direction.

“Oh!” The look of confusion on her face was apparent. “That’s odd. Are you his…”

“Sister!”  Pen said quickly, as Colin stared down at her in confusion.

“Sister’s friend.” He quickly clarified and Pen gave him a glance that clearly told him that he was an idiot not to take the save she so gracefully gave him.

“Well, nice to meet you, Colin’s sisters’ friend.” she said icily, turning back into the apartment and shutting the door behind her.

“Well, uh, thanks for the save, hero, I’ll let you get back to it.” Pen turned quickly, pushing Colin out of her doorway, and slamming it shut behind her, ignoring how firm his backside was underneath the sheet as she shoved.

~*~

“Lady Crane was right about you?”

“Lady Crane? What did she say?”

“That you cared about me, that you would never forsake me. I’m beginning to believe that now.”

Pen hugged the frilly yellow pillow in her lap, a ridiculous reminder of home as she watched her favorite show that she and Eloise would always watch together when they would visit each other or when she was feeling particularly lonely like she was tonight. She wiped the tear from the corner of her eye as the door to her apartment swung open causing her to jump slightly and the light from the hallway to suddenly flood her dark living room.

“Are you watching your porn show again?”

“Colin, Jesus I swear are you ever going to knock?” she asked in aggravation.

He threw himself down on the couch beside her, plopping his feet up on the coffee table. Pen was almost annoyed that he was now freshly showered, his scent of fresh lavender and oak almost permeating the room. His hair was still wet, and he was in a pair of dark sweats and her favorite mint green Olive You hoodie she had bought him for Christmas last year. She cursed that he looked so damn good in everything.

“Why are you here, bothering me? Surely you have exhausted yourself and should be sleeping until noon tomorrow.”

He stared intently at the screen, ignoring her comment. “What do you see in this show? If you wanted to watch a show about sex, just watch porn.”

She jammed her finger on the pause button and glared at him. “Are you just here to annoy me? Because if not, what do I owe the pleasure of this visit, Colin?”

He shrugged. “Just bored…”

“Bored…” She interrupted. “Where is your piece of fruit?” She groaned in frustration.

He shrugged. “She got a headache and went home after you locked yourself out of your apartment.”

“Too bad.” She lied.

“Were you crying?” he asked, suddenly staring at her intently.

“What? No? I mean…it’s this bloody show.” She pointed at the screen. “She’s in love with him and he’s too stupid to realize it. I’m just emotional.”

He laughed and she kicked at him. He grabbed her foot and held it in his grasp. “How do you know he doesn’t know? Look at the way he’s looking at her.”

She looked up at the screen, the way it was paused with the male character staring at the red-haired girl next to him. “Well, he hasn’t realized it yet. He still thinks of her like a sister. Because men are stupid.” She pouted.

“Ah, the old men are stupid trope. You sound like El now.” He paused. “Trust me, he’s thinking about it. All men think about it.”

She snorted. “That’s most definitely not true.”

“Yes, it is. It’s a guarantee that at some point every man will look at a woman and think about having sex with her at least once. It’s the sex rule”

“Bullshit. I know that’s not true.” Pen rolled her eyes.

“Want to put money on it?” She glared at him, but he only returned her stare with that devil-may-care grin that told her she would lose that bet.

“So you’ve thought about..sex…” her words came out slowly, deliberately as she carefully considered them.

He nodded.

“With…” She continued.

“Come now Pen…you’re almost there.”

“No.” She returned quickly.

“Yes.” He said drawing out the word.

“You have not.” she said defiantly.

“I have.” His tone was matter of fact. She could feel the blush creeping up her neck. “Ok come on there has to have been at least once in your life that you have thought about having sex with me?”

“Never.” She lied, but the speed at which she did so gave her away.

“Pen.” He was smirking at her again and it was driving her insane.

“Colin…” she said with a glare.

“Not once?” He pouted.

“I’m not answering that question.” She pursed her lips together tightly.

“Then that means you have.” He shrugged in victory.

“It does not.”

“Come on, it’s completely normal. All men and women think about it at least once.” The way he was speaking about this, so normally was driving her insane. How could he talk about this like this was not earth shattering?

“They do not.”

“Yes, they do. Pen, I know you aren’t new to sex, stop acting like you’re 12.”

Pen crossed her arms in front of her, almost like she was protecting herself somehow. “So, you really mean to tell me that you have thought about having sex with me?”

“Yes.” He nodded, his eyes never leaving hers.

“Colin!” She couldn’t stop the grin from spreading on her face even though she was absolutely flabbergasted that he was admitting this like it was no big deal and that made the heat building in her start to burn her cheeks.

“Pen!” her name drew from his lips thick and hot, and she felt herself swallow hard. “I think we know each other’s names at this point. Be honest. You’ve at least thought about it once.”

She was not doing this. She was not doing this. She was absolutely NOT doing this. Her smile betrayed her.

“I knew it.” He had the audacity to pump his fist in the air.

Dammit!

“Ok you tell me, I’ll tell you.”

“What?” Pen’s mouth dropped.

“If I tell you when I thought about it, then you have to tell me when you did?” His grin of utter triumph had her heart thumping in her head. How could he look so calm right now?

“Absolutely not.”

“Why? Are we not friends?” He smirked, his bottom lip jutting out slightly before his tongue swept out to wet his mouth.

“This is stupid! Friends don’t talk about this.”

“What are you afraid of, Penelope?” And the way her name hung in the air, the way it fell out of his mouth, mixed with the sweet tang of lemonade on a hot summer day.

“I’m not afraid of anything, Colin Bridgerton…”

He smirked for what felt like the millionth time that night and damn him, this is how he always beat her. Him and that gorgeous smile, the way he always knew the combination to unlocking her fears, the way he was able to put her off guard to get her to share anything with him because he was Colin, and she was Pen.

“Fine, when did you think about it?” She asked with a sigh, resigned to the fact that they were doing this.

“Junior prom.”

“You are certifiable! I would have been in Junior high school.” She scrunched her nose and made a vomiting motion.

“Not my junior prom, your junior prom.” He said with nothing but sincerity on his face.

Pen swallowed hard. Fuck. Not that night.

“I still remember you and El sitting out back by the pool. You were a crying mess when Dingleber…I mean Debling didn’t show up to escort you.”

She laughed, trying not to remember how hurt she felt that night, how much she had been destroyed when the most popular guy in school had invited her to prom only to embarrass her in front of the entire school simply to show up with Cressida Cowper instead. A ruse just to remind her that she wasn’t worth dating, someone that nobody ever noticed, a joke. “I remember El and Phillip wanted to drive over to his house and beat the shit out of him.”

“I would have done so myself, but Anthony took my keys. He said something about jail not being one of the places he wanted to be that night.”

She rolled her eyes but was comforted remembering how much the Bridgerton boys had treated her like a sister growing up, protecting her.  “Then your mom forced you to take me instead.” She laughed.

“No, she didn’t.” he said, sitting up, taking both of her feet into his lap.

“Yes, she did. El told me.”

“No Pen, I assure you, she didn’t, I offered. I just told El mom forced me to.” He shook his head and laughed. “What college kid volunteers to take 2 stupid high school kids to prom.” He reached up and ran his hands through his hair, something she had seen him do countless times before when he was nervous.  

“But El was so pissed because your mom forced you to chaperone us.”

“El was only pissed until I supplied you all with beer after.” He quickly retorted.

“Which she rewarded you with by decorating the leather seats of your car with afterwards.” It was the one thing both Colin and Pen still held over Eloise’s head to get her to do things for them since their mother was still none the wiser of the events from that evening.

“You know it took me a month to get the smell out.” He paused and then looked down at his fingers, running small circles against the skin on her ankles. “I still remember that dress you wore though.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Emerald green, cut down the front to show off your…um…assets, that slit you kept trying to cover up all night that made it really hard to keep my eyes on the road or anything else for that matter.”

“Excuse me?” Pen couldn’t stop the nervous giggle that escaped.

“I’m pretty sure that little heart shaped kiss mark on your inner thigh was burned into my memory for all eternity after that night.”

“Oh my God.” She exclaimed. Pen’s hand immediately brushed over the area, her cheeks starting to heat up. Was the room suddenly on fire?

“I seem to remember that night very differently than you.” She responded, finally recovering from her shock.

“How so?” His head tilted and the light from the television illuminated his expression and Pen was taken back with how invested he appeared to be in her answer.

“You spent most of the evening on the phone if I recall. Distracted by your girlfriend.” She frowned and tried to immediately mask it with a fake smile. It’s not as if she had any right to have been jealous anyway.

He made a sound between a laugh and a scoff. “Ah yes, Marina.”

“So maybe your memory is confused about who you were thinking about having sex with that night.” She hated discussing Marina. Hated discussing any of Colin’s ex-girlfriends or whatever they may be with him. In fact, she was starting to hate this entire conversation. They needed to end it and go to bed before her heart shattered any more tonight.

He shook his head with a smirk, staring directly into her eyes in that way that Colin was always able to do that made everything in her weak. “I’m pretty clear about those memories, Pen.”

Her voice faltered for a moment before she gathered herself in defiance of everything her body was feeling. “That was 8 years ago you moron, you don’t even remember what you ate for breakfast this morning.”

He leaned forward, his hand grazing hers as it sat on the back of the couch and Pen felt every single molecule in her body freeze. “I can assure you Pen, you never forget that first time. It was… enlightening, surprising…orgasmic, shall I say.” He drew out every word and her eyes were glued to the way his mouth even uttered the word orgasmic! She had to pull herself out of whatever trance she was in before this got out of control. Because this was insane.

And then she lost herself. She did what Pen always did when she got uncomfortable. She let out a loud giggle. “You are unhinged Colin. Ridiculous. You want me to believe that you went home and…”

He simply shook his head, a slow grin forming devilishly on his face.

“No!” she argued defiantly.

“Yes!” He smirked.

“NO!” she responded almost shouting.

“I did.” He sat back on the couch, satisfied, proud of himself almost.

“I hate you.” She pouted.

“Won’t change that it happened.” He paused, letting his story hang in the air for what felt like an eternity before he spoke again. “And that was my tale. Now tell me yours.”

She scoffed. Hell no! “Oh, I think we’ve had just about enough tales tonight.” There was no way this was getting any further than they had already gotten. She was not about to tell him how many times she had thought about Colin taking her right there on the very couch they were currently curled up on.  

“No, no, no, we said we’d both tell. You don’t get to back out now.” He gripped her ankles tightly, not letting her remove herself from the couch.

Pen tried to look anywhere but at Colin, staring at the characters on the screen instead. UGH. Why was this happening tonight. Fuck. Be brave. What’s the worst that can happen? He can just make fun of you and then tomorrow he’ll bake a cake for someone with a name that rhymes with a vegetable.

“Junior Prom.” she said softly. She glanced at him and was annoyed immediately at the small smile that started to grow into the most annoying smirk she had ever seen on his face. “Oh, shut up.” She kicked her foot at him, but he held it firmly in his grasp, his hands lightly massaging her toes with his fingers. Damn him.

“I told you, it’s completely normal Pen. I was your best friend’s very handsome older brother.”

“Wow! I always though Ben was the handsome one.” she teased.

“I mean at least tell me I was good.” His voice got low, and she cursed the sudden change in tone, the hair on the back of her neck standing on end again.

“Well, it wasn’t exactly real now, was it?” She laughed uncomfortably, unable to get control of her emotions all of a sudden. Were they really discussing this? Could they please stop? His hands moved to her ankle and a shiver hit her. “Come on, at least tell me you didn’t imagine me a shit lay, Pen. I got dumped because of that fuck.”

“I’m sorry what?” She snorted.

“Nothing…” he said quickly.

“What do you mean you got dumped because of it?” she asked seriously, thinking back to when Colin and Marina broke up. It was long after prom. Wasn’t it?

He sighed, his fingers still moving slowly against her skin, but working their way up to her calf. “Marina dumped me over that whole prom thing.”

“What? Why?” That wasn’t right, she clearly remembered him telling them that they broke up months after prom.

“Why do women do anything.” He scoffed. “We had a date that night. I broke that date. It wasn’t a big deal. I waited to tell everyone because, well, Marina and I had other problems besides that. So…” He shrugged.

“You never told me that. You should have gone. You didn’t have to take us.”

“Yes, I did.” He said suddenly, and way more seriously than she was prepared for. “You were looking forward to that dance for weeks. I remember you and El talking about it like it was a fucking meeting with the Queen for God’s sake. I think you took 4 hours getting ready only for that fucker to just not show up…to fucking leave you like that…to embarrass you in front of the whole school…”

Pen was taken aback with his emotion, so sudden, so serious.

“I wasn’t going to let him make you feel like that. Like you weren’t worth that kind of attention. Like you didn’t deserve to feel beautiful that night.”

The air in the room felt stifled.

“Colin…”

“Anyway, Marina didn’t get it. It didn’t matter. All that mattered that night was you, Pen.” His voice was soft, quiet, and sincere. Pen felt her entire heart explode. The hand on her calf had slowed, fingers drawing circles against her skin that were setting her skin on fire.

“Colin…” She tried to speak again. But staring at his hand, her voice cracking, no other words were coming out.

“So, um yeah…” he looked up at the television screen. “That bloke knows, he just doesn’t know what to do about it. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to do something about it.”

“Then El is right, men are stupid.” She exclaimed. “Why is it that men are able to fuck around with every other woman except for the one they actually want? Why is it that when they want a woman, they have no idea what to do with them?”

He groaned or sighed; Pen wasn’t sure which. “It’s not that easy, Pen and you know it.”

“Is it not?” she asked indignantly.

“You tell me?” He almost pleaded and it thew Pen off her axis. “You tell me how easy this is? How many times?”

“What?” She looked at him in confusion.

“How many times have you thought about it? Once, twice?” his face contorted in what seemed like pain.

“Thought about what?”

“Sex with me?”

“Col…”

“Every night…” He announced suddenly. “I think about it every night, Pen. So tell me how easy it is to just drop all this pretense and tell your best friend that you are in love with her and spend every fucking night imagining what it would be like to taste her, touch her, breathe in every inch of her skin beneath my body, but you can’t have her, so instead you just wander around aimlessly, fucking lost, knowing that she can never be yours.”

Pen was certain that every single sound in the room had suddenly turned off until the silence in the room was deafening. Colin was in love with her?

She couldn’t breathe, this wasn’t happening, there was no way this was happening right now.

“Do you really have nothing to say?”

Reality came crashing back as her eyes met his, something looming behind the blue ocean swirling in his pupils…almost pleading for her to respond.

“I…You’re in love with me?” She heard herself say without even recognizing her own voice.

“Is that so hard for you to believe?” He seemed to be pleading with her and she felt her heart clench.

She sat up quickly, pulling her legs away from him as she stood from the couch, pacing across the room, her heart starting to race. “Yes, it is. You’ve never said anything. You always have a girlfriend. How the hell would I ever think you thought anything about me besides being your friend?”

“Would you stop pacing!” He was watching her from his spot on the couch.

“No, you know I need to pace when I’m stressed. And you’ve stressed me out.”

“So…” He paused, staring down at his hands, his jaw clenched. “Me telling you that I love you is stressful?”

“Yes…No…I don’t know.” She declared as she turned back and forth on the carpet.

“Ok. That’s not exactly helpful Pen.”

“I don’t know Colin. I don’t understand. This doesn’t make sense. You had a girl in your room not three fucking hours ago.” She yelled.

He groaned and ran his hands through his hair, and she berated herself for finding that sexy as hell for the third time this evening.

Focus Penelope!

“I didn’t think this was an option. I don’t know, it’s what I do. I distract myself.” He said with a wolfish grin that should not have been sexy and she should not have wanted to wipe it off his face with a kiss. She was angry with him right now!

“By being an asshat?” She yelled instead.

“I don’t know Ok! Mom says it’s a coping mechanism. She said the more I ignore my feelings for you the more I continue to fall into bad behavior.”

“Oh my God, you talked to your mom about this? Who else did you talk to about this?” She was staring at him wide eyed, in shock that he had told his mother about his feelings for her.

“No one…I mean maybe Ben…and Ant…I might have mentioned it to Daph once and maybe...” he dropped his face into his hands and groaned.

“Oh my God, is there anyone you haven’t talked to about this? Besides me and Eloise?”

He looked up and bit his lip.

Pen’s mouth fell agape. “You told Eloise?” She yelled.

“Pen…” He tilted his head and stood from his spot.

“Why didn’t you just talk to me?” she said softly.

“Because you are the most important person in my life and the only person I can’t afford to lose.” He replied sincerely and she felt the room start to spin.

“Well maybe, you fucking asshat, if you had come to talk to me, you would have found out that I have been in love with you since the day you walked out of your room in your boxer shorts and shared your chocolate waffles with me when I was 8 years old.” Tears were starting to well in the corners of her eyes. “And while you are the most important person in my life and there isn’t a day I don’t want you in it, there isn’t a single night that I don’t go to bed having to listen to you in your apartment and thinking about how badly I want to be the reason you are making that maddening moan that makes me go weak in the knees and wet between the legs.” His eyes were dark as he stood rooted to his space in front of the couch. “Living next to you and not being able to have you has been the most excruciating hell I’ve ever lived in.”

“Pen…I didn’t…I…had no…” His pained expression changed in an instant, desire growing the moment their eyes met. He crossed the room in one step, erasing the space between them. Time stood still the moment his lips touched hers, a surge of electricity sparking between them setting her skin aflame at his very touch. His hand was in her hair, his fingertips massaging the space behind her ear and damn if it wasn’t the most glorious feeling in the world.

A moan escaped her lips, unrecognizable even to her, as his mouth grazed a wet trail across her jaw which was met by a low growl that made her skin crawl in devilish ways that had her begging for more.

“Colin…” his name fell from her lips so naturally like it had so many times before but tonight it felt different, as if saying it was the only way to bring her the release she had been needing for years. She felt his breathe against her ear, a heat that made her senses rise.

“I want you; I’ve always wanted you like this.” She was afraid the earth was going to swallow her whole at that very moment, to end her existence before she could truly understand the meaning of hearing the words that had come out of his mouth. She had waited her entire life to know what it meant to be truly wanted by the man holding her in his arms.

“Then take me.” she whispered, her knees nearly buckled beneath her as his tongue slid hot against her neck, his mouth sucking against her skin, teeth skimming her flesh. She knew that would leave a mark in the morning; she didn’t care. She wanted it. She wanted him to mark her. To make her his. Truly, she was always his. He only needed to claim her.

His hands slid under her T-shirt, his palms pressing against her belly as their bodies tumbled toward the ground.

“Books.” She grunted, trying not to knock over the pile of books sitting on the floor that she had towering in stacks for research on her latest article. “Watch the…” He laughed, his head dropping to her breast, the laugh made her body vibrate but the sound made her heart skip, a familiar song reminding her of the man she loved so dear. He looked up at her with a grin on his face. “Sorry, I just have them in order.”

“Do you ever just let go?” He slid a finger into his mouth, letting it glide against his bottom lip. His smile turned up as he slid his hand back under her t-shirt, his moistened fingertip now circling her pert nipple.

Her back arched against his warm hand as she gave into his ministrations. “Fuck it.” She sang, kicking the stack of books over and pressing herself fully into Colin’s hard body. She was done being in control. She felt his smile hot against her neck and she didn’t care if she seemed eager, she was. She had wanted this for so long. So many years of wanting, needing, aching for Colin Bridgerton.

He dragged the shirt over her head, pausing once the fabric was above her. “God you’re beautiful.” She ached to pull her arms over her naked chest, to shield her body from view.

“Don’t do that.” His voice was soft. “Don’t hide from me.” She had never felt so exposed. She never undressed in front of men, always changing in the dark and sliding under blankets in the cover of dark.

“Colin.” She tried to avert her eyes from his honest gaze.

“You’re perfect. You always have been.” He ran his finger lightly against her flesh, taking his time as he slid between the valley of her breast. She shivered and he chuckled low and deep, but his exploration continued as he traveled to the waistband of her pajama pants.

She watched as he bit his lip. It was much the same way he would look at his favorite sweet treat at Sunday morning brunch at their family picnics. He was giddy with excitement. She would watch him and pool with desire simply seeing him take the first bite of the delectable dessert and it made her quiver now with anticipation knowing he wanted to devour her just as badly.

Just the thought of his mouth on her was making her feel feral and she wasn’t sure she could take it much longer with him staring at her. “Please Colin...” She whined.

“Please what?” He demanded.

“I...” Her hips arched into him, pushing his hand closer to where she needed him to be. “I...need...”

“Use your words, love.” His hand pressed against her waist, his fingers sliding under her pants, fingertips brushing against the curly hairs on her mound. “Please what, Pen?” He whispered.

“Touch me.” She came off the floor the moment his fingers found their mark, sliding between her folds, slick and wet. “God, yes.”

“So perfect.” he said softly. His finger slid in slowly and his mouth found hers, their tongues colliding in perfect harmony. She tore her t-shirt away from her body, and greedily moved her hands under his hoodie, feeling his warm skin under her palms, exploring every inch of his chest. When he slipped another finger inside of her, the desire to feel him closer increased. She needed so much more than even she understood in that moment.

She had imagined sex with Colin Bridgerton before, in many different places and ways, dirty, needy, fulfilling. But she had always thought that if it happened, if she would ever have been lucky enough to have him, that she would take her time. She imagined that she would explore him until she had nothing left to uncover.

But in this moment, exposed and bare in the middle of her living room floor, books strewn around them, she wanted nothing more than to feel the full breadth of him filling her until the ache of needing him, the screaming of desire in her brain was silenced.

She didn’t know where her courage came from, God knows she had never found it before, nor had she had it with other men, but in that fleeting thought of her mind, she latched onto it. Pushing him away from her and rolling him onto his back, she took control. “Pen...”

“Not now, I want you.” She smiled down at him as she watched him eagerly tugging his sweatpants down his body. She gulped at the sight of him, erect and full. “Just like that.”

“I see you found your words.” He grinned as she straddled him, sinking her thighs onto either side of his hips, her wet center grinding against his cock and relishing as the smirk fell away from his face and his eyes rolled back with a hiss escaping his mouth. “Fuck.” She leaned over, pressing her hands into his chest and meeting his lips with hers as she slid the length of him. She reached between them, grasping him in hand and slipping him between her legs.

Pushing her other hand against his chest, she lifted herself and sunk down onto his throbbing member, allowing him to fill her completely. “My God!” Her head fell back as his hands came up to grip her breasts, twisting her taut nipples between his thumb and forefinger.

This was everything she had ever imagined and so much more. What was laid out before her was literal porn in the flesh. Colin’s eyes were locked on hers, attentive and passionately taking in her every move. His right hand trailed down her torso, sliding between their bodies as they rocked in motion. His thumb pressed into her tender bundle of nerves making her cry out, grinding her hips hard against him.

“Please Pen...” He begged and she wanted to give him that release, wanted to be the reason for his bliss, wanted to give him every desire he ever needed. She kept his eyes on her, bringing her hand to join his between them, gliding together as she felt herself start to tense. The ecstasy building as he thrust up into her.

“Col...” His name left her lips like a prayer, a sacred promise she would always keep as she felt her release take over and everything she had locked up inside her, all the years she had been holding on to this secret she had withheld from him finally shattered as she screamed his name into the silence of her apartment.

His hands were now on her hips as he bucked up into her with a grunt, a whisper of her name before he relaxed back onto the floor, pulling her down onto his chest as they tumbled together in a tangle of limbs and partially discarded clothing. He pushed a moist strand of hair out of her face and tucked it behind her ear, kissing her on the forehead. “God, I love you. That was way better than I imagined.”

She giggled. He pulled back and looked at her. “Hey, I hope that’s a happy laugh and not a ‘gee you were still a shit lay in reality’ laugh.”

She bit her lip and smiled. “Hmm...” His eyes got wide. “I suppose you were ok.”

“Ok?” He scoffed.

She kissed him quickly. “Better than porn.” She whispered against his lips.

“I love you, Pen. Truly.”

“I love you too.” And in that moment, she knew that it was true. It was always going to be Pen and Colin, Colin and Pen, best friends, who were destined to be tied together for life.

[cemeterygrace]

mcr seattle!

current vibe:

jail account:

@cemeterygrace-is-jailed

name: noa

age: 18

pronouns: any and all. whatever floats your boat. heck, make up some new ones.

gender: formless blob idc

sexuality: humans are neat 🤷

relationship status: dating @ghastguy77

i run @phan-resources.

member of the grape medicine haters cult

if you’re here for a specific fandom, i’m sorry for your loss

asks are always open just don’t be gross

feel free to tag me and message me anytime!

i yap so the rest is under the read more!

fandoms: there’s a lot so have a list (or multiple)

music (these are all apple music links i’m sorry)

mcr

fall out boy

twenty one pilots

muna

boygenius

against me!

something corporate

ball park music

bears in trees

bleach lab

chappell roan

dead sara

ethel cain

ezra furman

flor

idkhow

linkin park

the killers

ls dunes

laura jane grace

nxdia

paramore

sophian

sophie

waterparks

the young veins

other

dan and phil (my wives)

f1

daniel thrasher

nate bargatze

kim stanley robinson

brandon sanderson

charlie jane anders

markiplier

unus annus

jacksepticeye

nerdforge

f1

mclaren and red bull baybee

other stuff

i’m an mcr5 truther

i’m a no but seriously imagine it truther (and it happened what the fuck)

i am a specialty root beer connoisseur (abita root beer hell yeah)

i’m on the hunt for the best fettuccine alfredo ever send me recs

i’m a freshman history major

i am a band kid do with that what you will

i have a dog she’s a mini englishdoodle named piper and she’s precious

i am a lactose intolerant cheese enjoyer

i have hella disabilities/chronic illnesses/diseases it’s a Time™️

i am a midwestern hoe

i play cymbals in marching band

instruments i play because this post needs another list

piano

flute

bass guitar

drums

mallet percussion

cymbals

violin

saxophone (a bit)

disabilities and such

juvenile idiopathic polyarticular arthritis (they can’t agree on a fucking name)

adhd (primarily inattentive type)

enthesitis

scheuermann’s disease

extreme hypermobility

lactose intolerant af

my tags!

damn you’re all the way down here? neat! good job for reading all of that lmao <3 as a treat here are some fun facts

i have entirely too many books in my room send help they’ve taken over

went to tit tour and clancy minneapolis!

i am a minnesota bitch what about it

i had chai and ube ice cream once and it was absolutely life changing

i’ve been to 30 states if we’re counting washington dc

i’ve been to 6 countries including the 3 main north american ones (america cause i live there, canada, and mexico)

i’ve been at the summit of the second tallest mountain east of the mississippi (mount washington)

tysm for reading you’re my favorite <3

dni: fascists, shitheads and bigots, israel supporters, terfs, ableists, etc. if you’re a dick about other people existing, this ain’t the place for you.

[brainlessrot]

Ranking NRC dorms on how much I would trust and like their cooking -

fair warning: I've skipped like most culinary croucible events and forgot 90% of the ones i played, so this is all based on my subjective reading of their vibes and the limited canon knowledge i could gather in my brain

Contents: As the title says +individual characters ranked

Characters: All dorms + students and teachers

1. Scarabia

do i even need to explain this one??

One of the first episodes in their chapter was literally cooking with jamil

I LOVE middle eastern food. give me hummus and some pita bread and im set for life.

Pre scarabia arc jamil would be a dangerous choice, but post chapter? im gonna be knocking on his door with bribes so that he gives me any extra food he made 🙏

not kalim tho, yall stay safe

(also wrote this while at Agrabah's cafe in disney land, so my opinion might be skewed)

Continues under this cut!!

2. Octavinelle

Mans whole bussiness is food

if im paying for it i better be getting something good

but would NEVER try to ask any of them to cook for me (for free obv) bc i dont think that would end well (for me)

Jade?? mixing mushrooms he found somewhere

Floyd? forgets and goes somewhere, now the kitchen is burnt

Azul? nuh huh 💀 i aint seeling my soul for some toast

theyre like, Norwegian/italian i think?? and idk much about Norwegian cuisine but like italian is soooo good 🤞

3. Heartslabyul

Only for the sweets (i might not trust trey but i have a sweet tooth)

I dont mind tea, but they better not bring out their British cuisine out

If i see any fish n chips im evaporating from that table (lies, free food is free food)

i wanna go to an unbirthday party 😔

riddle would cook something too healthy and would count my calorie intake 💀

ace or deuce? id better be getting ready to get intoxication

cater... i just dont see him cooking

4. Pomefiore

listen... theyre mostly rich pampered boys, so would they even be cooking?

i dont trust the source of Rook's food

epel would only give me apple based foods (tasty, but gets boring after a while)

Vil would probably give me those weird natural green smoothies AND I DONT WANT THAT 🤬

+ i dont like french people (jk)

5. Ighnihyde

listen

HEAR ME OUT

ik theyre all nerds and all they eat is instant ramen

BUT GREEK FOOD.

all for that greek yogurt 😩

idia doesn't know how to cook except for instant foods which i dont mind (he gets favourite character treatment)

ortho,,, questionable. He has access to the internet (aka infinite recipes) but would it taste good? hes like 10

6. Savanaclaw

sweaty men.

i should just leave it at that ngl

leona? rich ahh man (a GROWN man at that!! 20 whole years of age!!!) and he probably doesn't even know how to fry an egg

ruggie? no way he gives me anything good for free 😭

Jack is the only one i would trust, but man probably also drinks protein shakes and those sad chicken breast and rice meals.

7. Diasomnia

no thank you

i like my soul staying where it is.

i dont trust their magical food

lillia is not even my last choice if im ever hungry, he aint a choice AT ALL

Malleus... he probably doesn't know how to physically cook?? sure he can bibidi babidi boop me some food like the giant fairy godmother he is, but i want something real man 😔

Sebek... protein shake man...

Silver MUST know how to cook (living with lillia would be imposible if not) so if i HAD to, I would go to him, but i dont want him to fall asleep and faceplant on my food 😭

+ Characters Ranked in tiers! (students and teachers)

The best, five star Michelin food:

Jamil, Trey, Trein

You could be happy eating:

Vil, Epel, Floyd, Silver, Azul, Ruggie, Crewel

Its food:

Jack, Cater, idia (if making instant ramen) Ortho, Sam

its... food?:

Rook (seriously, where did he get that?), Jade, Ace, Deuce, Malleus (the food is uncorporeal), Sebek, Vargas

dubious taste, would rather not:

Riddle, Kalim, Leona (its just a slab of uncooked meat), Idia (if trying to cook real food)

call 911 BEFORE eating please:

Lillia, Grim, Crowley

[direwolfrules]

EAH Glee AU

I do not have time right now to work on my actual writing- midterms are done so now we're just jumping right into final papers- but have an AU outline post.

Professor Pied Piper, taking inspiration from some of his best high school memories, gets Headmaster Grimm to reinstate the school glee club.

Meanwhile, Madame Baba Yaga fears the new activity will steal away talent from her prize cheer-hexing team, the Ever After High Cheerios (I can’t think of a good fairytale-ification for this, I will accept suggestions). To rectify this situation, she sends in three of her girls undercover with the goal of sabotaging the glee club.

Basically, Pied Piper is Will Schuester, Baba Yaga is Sue Sylvester, and chaos ensues.

Glee Club Members:

Apple White: She joined because 1) she's good at singing 2) she genuinely enjoys singing 3) her mom was in the Glee Club and led them to winning Nationals. I'd say she's the Rachel Berry or the Quinn Fabray, but I'm not gonna do that thing where I entirely change a character's personality to make them fit into the role of another character...for the students anyway. Look, Apple's got enough drama in her life, she doesn't need me making her crazy enough to send someone to a crack house out of jealousy.

Raven: Uh, in the books Headmaster Grimm won't let her take Muse-ic because it's not an evil class. Luckily, because of a bizarre loophole in the school guidelines for competitive teams, Headmaster Grimm can't ban her from Glee Club. Everyone say thank you Giles.

Daring: He joined because he was told it would give him extra credit for the serenading skills portion of Advanced Wooing. Also, Apple asked him to join because they didn't have enough boys in the club and Daring's been trained to never ignore a request from a damsel.

Dexter: He’s there cause Raven’s there? And also cause he is a genuinely great singer and unlike Daring needs the Advanced Wooing extra credit? Also, I just kinda want him there.

Darling: Her mom made her join. Queen Charming really said “I’m gonna take a page from Snow White’s book and live vicariously through you, offspring of mine”.

Briar: She really likes the idea of a team competition where she won’t put her teammates in danger if she falls asleep. Also, she checked the competition rulebook, as long as they don’t all leave the stage when she has a narcoleptic episode they won’t be disqualified.

Humphrey: Every Glee AU needs a white-boy-who raps and Ever After High has one already built-in in the form of Humphrey Dumpty.

Maddie: She’s there cause Raven’s there. It’s utterly hattastic!

Kitty: She’s there because she remembered her mom talking about how some of her fondest memories of high school revolves around messing with the glee club, and Kitty wants dearly to be like her mother.

Lizzie: We’re completing the Wonderland ensemble. Lizzie joins because she needs an extra curricular and the Invisible Tree Situation has gotten so out of hand they had to disband the croquet team. Great voice, ngl.

Justine: Not the strongest singer in the room, but she’s capable of choreographing numbers like nobody’s business.

Meeshell: Listen, canon’s pretending her singing in that webisode was something amazing. So like, we’re pretending now too.

Duchess: I picture her as a Sugar Motta-type character. Cannot sing, massive diva, but they gotta put up with her cause her family’s donating to the club budget.

Melody: Listen, it’s her dad’s club. She can’t just not join. She’s banking those supportive daughter points for a rainy day.

Lawrence Bonecrusher III: Listen, I just it'd be funny if Professor Piper says the ever-insane "You're all minorities, you're in the glee club" line and there's the one orc student in the school just sitting there with his eyebrow raised. He's also the Matt of this AU. For some reason never speaks when in a scene.

Faybelle: Captain of the Cheerios, totally not here as part of a scheme by Madame Yaga to DESTROY THE GLEE CLUB!!!!

Nah, but seriously, this whole AU was born of me going "What EAH character would say the iconic 'I'm a closeted lesbian and a judgemental bitch' line?" and her face popped into my mind.

[elderberries-and-honey]

Hello there! This is Winifred Monet, a 21 year old girl who is living in Windbrook with her mom and two cats, Honey & Thistle. Everyone around the small town would agree she's a master baker, while others might describe her as being socially awkward or an old soul. When she's not covered head to toe in flour, she can usually be found volunteering at the community garden center, tutoring underprivileged youth, or attending bible study on Sundays.

🥧Gen One: The Baking Extraordinaire 🍰

There was a warmth and coziness in rolling out dough, mixing up frosting, creating masterpieces with a piping bag. Most of your days are spent whipping up new creations in the kitchen, enjoying the smell of a delicious apple pie baking in the oven. You dream of having everyone know your name and saying "Their cupcakes are the best I've ever had!".

forward / previous / beginning

A Few Notes Under The Cut!

I'm not giving up on my decades challenge! I just wanted to create a new save that I actually play the game with instead of always doing pose heavy scenes (especially with how chaotic work has been). But since I'm seriously in love with these pixels, I took Winifred & Lawrence and made it into an alternate universe type deal.

So, without further ado, here are a few notes

this is for @simelune's the joy of life challenge.

i swapped out foodie for master baker!

i will be utilizing poses but try to mostly use actual gameplay for this challenge bc even though it was meant to be cc free / no mods, i am delulu and turned it into a whole story so here we are 🫡

major adult themes / triggering warnings are ahead but i'll probably post this somewhere else too bc i doubt anyone's going to read this far loool

ok bye, i'm so excited to start this <3

[theyanderespecialist]

Base Yandere Sera Headcanons: More Than Meets The Eyes (Hazbin Hotel)

[Hello, My Sexy Muffins! This might just be my most controversial take on a Hazbin Hotel Character yet!

Just some quick notes, Sera at first glance is controlling and manipulative but when you dive in on her character there is more than meets the eyes! So let's do this!]

(Side note, I may have to update this in season 2, so understand that)

(Disclaimer: Sera is not yandere in canon and this is just for fun and not to be taken seriously at all! Simping for fictional characters and yanderes is fine, just do not be illegal or gross about his! Also, remember to separate fiction from reality and headcanon from canon! Yanderes are not ideal partners to have in real life!)

-Base Yandere Headcanons With Sera From Hazbin Hotel-

.Sera cares about heaven very much.

.She is also the leader of the seraphims it seems.

.She had to make a lot of hard decisions and before Adam did what Adam did, it seemed that Lucifer was the only Angel to ever fall. (This is most likely not true cause in biblical times multiple angels fell with Lucifer such as Paimon, who is Stolas's father)

.So of course Sera would fear her and her other angels falling.

.Also there might be a canon God in this world that chose to punish Lucifer and Lilith. (Viv did make art of what he could look like)

.So it might not have been her choice to cast Lucifer out, meaning there is a higher power than her.

.Either way like she says choosing to listen to Adam was such a hard choice for her.

.To be honest, it looked like Adam wanted revenge on Lilith's "kids" cause she is the mother of all sinners since in Jewish lore she also tempted Eve with the apple.

.Anyways it seems she was lied to and manipulated by Adam and she wanted nothing to do with the exterminations and possibly has immense guilt for letting human souls be killed.

.but she did know about it and instead of supervising it like she should she let Adam and Lute control it.

.Even leaving Vaggie another angel to die.

.This possessive nature affects how she would be as a yandere which yes she can make the hard choices to do as a yandere but she will fail to act on some of those choices.

.She adores you and loves you and wants you safe in heaven as her utmost concern.

.But she is also very controlling in regards to hiding things from you.

.Such as the obvious one being extermination, she rather keep you in ignorant bliss.

.This follows onto her, in her mind trying to protect you.

.Such as keeping old flames from winning your heart again, or for her rivals to woo you.

.She is more of a possessive yandere who would rather have Adam do her dirty work and not get her hands dirty.

.She does not care how he does it or anything like that.

.As long as the rival is out of sight and out of mine.

.She is possessive for sure and in her mind, she is doing the right thing by doing all of this.

.It is something that needs to be done for the greater good.

.She will warn you when or if you find out the truth that she did what she had to do because it is what was required.

.She will manipulate you into seeing things her way and to make it seem to you she is right.

.This is where that controlling side comes in.

.From her perspective it is all because she loves you and wants you safe in heaven with her.

.She does her best to keep you happy and ignorant of the dangers of the world.

.She is not doing it to be cruel or controlling but because she is afraid of losing you and also afraid of you being hurt.

.She is a very protective yandere in her roots, even though she is a bit misguided.

[Anyways that is all for now, we will see more of her in season 2 so there will be more on her when we learn it! Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed this, and stay sexy, all of my sexy muffins!]

[phregnancy]

no but seriously, i often wonder what the HELLLLLL did Phil do to Dan have him wrapped around his fingers. Like what has he done to make him go...hmm... yes I will do whatever you want me to for the rest of my life. You are the apple of my eyes...since he was 18. Do you think their dynamic changes throughout the year (especially knowing Dan went through a pretty bad depression) or has it always been like this since the very beginning?

i think they’ve always been like this to some extent, but it’s evolved over the years and there have been ebbs and flows and highs and lows like all relationships. dan’s always cared for phil and taken care of him in the ways he can. i always think about phil’s first birthday with dan and how dan got him gifts that really impacted phil and made phil want to repay him because it was the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for him before (his words). dan was 18 years old and that posh and confident guy was still taking care of phil as best he knew how. they both put a lot into their relationship and take care of each other, since and for forever. neither of them had to do anything to gain that level of love, it’s second nature to them

[misrepresentedmorallygrey]

PROPAGANDA

Allicent Hightower

She married the King, gave him a bunch of kids, and usurped the throne for her eldest son causing a massive conflict throughout the kingdom and leading to the death of the dragons and destruction of the royal family in the next 100 years. God forbid women do anything. Seriously though, her husband didn’t respect her and she had been given reason to believe that the original heir would murder her kids so she made the decisions she made out of love and fear after being forced into a shitty position by her father and her husband. She gets involved with some not great people and does some not great things in the name of securing allies and support for her faction but I adore her and I’m tired of seeing people treat her like scum of the earth and a devil. Her husband is right there and her murdered his first wife and then married his daughter’s best friend and his cowardly neglect of his family is the real start of the conflict over the throne. Literally nothing Alicent does can top that.

Second wife of the King of Westeros, who is old enough to be her father. She prioritizes the safety of her children over everything else and because of this she attacks and usurps the heir (2 separate events). She is scrambling for stability for her family in a succession crisis that began the second her dumbass husband decided to marry her. The amount of gross misogynistic comments people make about her simply because she is a woman in one of the more misogynistic societies in mainstream media doing her best to conform and survive is sickening. Not to mention the hate she gets for working against the fandoms favorite “feminist girlboss” character. Her actions are always getting misrepresented and exaggerated to make her seem worse. Anything good she does is ignored and anything bad she does is twisted and manipulated. Free my girl she didn’t do any of that. She did do other stuff though. And she looked good doing it.

Apple White

everyone shut up about her being evil and selfish she is a teenage girl who has been raised HER WHOLE LIFE with this ideology, she can’t unlearn her entire belief system overnight especially when it’s so deeply tied to her identity as a person. also she literally does let go of it eventually, because she’s not a static character, she has an arc. apple is my favorite because she’s complex, not in spite of it. on the flipside there’s the people who act like she didn’t do anything wrong. i’ve seen people call raven the selfish one? this show was made for 5 years olds. how do you have less media comprehension that a 5 year old. and also, you’re loving apple the wrong ways!! she makes mistakes. she fucks up so much, and it’s awesome. i get overcompensating because the haters are so loud or whatever, but saying she’s perfect is erasing what makes her interesting. this propaganda is not very good because I’m guessing a lot of propaganda looks identical (edelgard and vriska have similar issues in fandom spaces) so here is my final pitch. vote for apple because she’s a lesbian (her canon soulmate was a girl). vote for apple because she’s a protagonist in a kids cartoon who was a lesbian way back in jan 2016. vote for apple because mattel let the face of their new franchise be a girl who likes girls (still feels surreal)

[wangxianficrecs]

exit, pursued by fierce corpse by hauntedotamatone

exit, pursued by fierce corpse

by hauntedotamatone

Not rated, 4k, Wei Wuxian & Wen Ning

Summary: “The Jin clan of Lanling is rich beyond rich,” The second boy whispers, or rather, attempts to whisper. “If we bring them the head of the Yiling Laozu, they’ll have no choice but to reward us!” It’s quite a stupid endeavor, especially for three, unarmed, young masters whose knowledge of combat and heroism likely comes from playhouses alone. - “Wei-gongzi,” Wen Ning whispers, barely louder than the sound of a person breathing and all the more striking when it comes from one who does not. His face is still, the undisturbed waters of a pond, but there is something in his eyes that reminds him of brightness, the shine of a dragonfly skimming the water. - alternatively; wen qionglin, the method actor.

Kay's comments: A fic that's not sugar-coating the life Wei Wuxian and the Wens were living at the Burial Mounds, as they were trying their best to survive. Wen Ning and Wei Wuxian are on their back home when they encounter three young masters intent on poisoning the dreaded Yiling Patriach. They decide to take things into their own hands and Wen Ning bites right into the poisoned apple to teach those guys a lesson! He's a great actor indeed and honestly, I loved the idea so much. Two silly little guys indeed.

Excerpt: “Did I ever tell you my parents had a donkey?” Wei Wuxian says, seemingly out of the blue as they trudge onwards “ They carried almost everything they had on its back. I bet I could borrow one for a bit and return it before anyone notices.” Wen Ning gives a thoughtful hum that Wei Wuxian has come to recognize as skeptical. He’s right to be. Animals do not particularly care for Wei Wuxian any longer, balking at the sight of him, aside from the crows that have come to expect there will be something for them to eat wherever they hear the sound of Chenqing. Such an aversion would have proved useful to him long ago. It’s come at least ten years too late. “Fine, you could negotiate with the donkey,” he concedes. “Have you ever thought of going into livestock diplomacy?” “I used to bring strays to jiejie,” Wen Ning says. This was, after all, the very means through which Wei Wuxian met Wen Qing. “She couldn’t always fix them, but she always tried.”

pov wei wuxian, burial mounds settlement days, assassination attempts, slice of life, depressing slice of life, friendship, crack treated seriously, good friend wen ning, found family, pranks and practical jokes, canon compliant, yiling laozu wei wuixan, ghost general wen ning, @hauntotamatone

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