#seriously that is SO cool. absolutely crazy concept and i will be keeping it in mind 200%

[fear-no-mort]

just found out about freaky morty theory Holy fuck

[kimbappykidding]

Hot things Seventeen do that drive you crazy

Scoups - When he pulls the leader card

You weren't someone who paid much attention to power or titles but you'd have to be blind to miss the sway Scoups had over his members. 

You were meeting Scoups to go out for dinner but rehearsals were running over so he told you to come inside and wait with them. So you were sat in the back of the practice room on your phone when you noticed Scoups was using his leader voice. Some of the members were messing around and so it was taking longer than it needed to. You watched as he knocked the table getting Dk's attention and shook his head. When Hoshi carried on he lightly grabbed his arm and whispered in his ear. Throughout the rest of the rehearsal he kept an eye on them and absolutely anytime someone was being too boisterous or unprofessional all it took was a look from Scoups and they got on with it. 

You didn't realise practice was over until everyone started grabbing their things and Scoups headed over to you. You got your phone back out and pretended like you hadn't been staring at your boyfriend. Scoups sunk into the seat beside you and wrapped an arm around you "sorry that took so long just a few loose ends to tie up". You shrugged "it was fine I actually quite enjoyed watching". Scoups paused at your tone and turned so he could see your face more fully. "You enjoyed it huh?". "Yep you put on quite a show being all authoritarian and in-charge, it suits you a lot". Scoups smirked at the way you were looking at him and moved closer to you. "Well if it suits me so much maybe we'll have to try it sometime?" he whispered into your ear. Goosebumps erupted up and down your arms but you played it cool and just turned to look at him "sometime? Why not tonight?". That got the reaction you wanted. Scoups shot up "I'll go get my stuff, get the car ready". You smirked as he ran off and did as he said.

Jeonghan - Looks so angelic even when he's done something wrong

Jeonghan knew how to use his angelic looks in a way that was just devilish. Whenever you were angry at him, it didn't last long because he just knew what buttons to press.

You were mad at Jeonghan again. This happened pretty much anytime you played a game with Seventeen. Jeonghan would cheat and you’d get mad when it made you lose. He’d got you killed when he was the mafia all along. You weren’t seriously mad, it’d blow over in an hour or so but Jeonghan couldn’t wait that long. 

As soon as the game finished you went to go sit with some of the other members purposefully avoiding Jeonghan. You were sipping your drink, cooling off when Jeonghan sat down across from you. His knees were resting against yours and you sighed, looking away from him but you could feel his eyes on you. You accidentally looked at him and he smirked making you angry once again at how beautiful and hot his smirks were. Jeonghan soon switched focus and started laughing and joking with the guys, quickly becoming the centre of the conversation. You weren’t feeling it so got up and walked away only for Jeonghan to follow. 

He sat beside you and you were annoyed at how good he looked. “Y/n” he called softly and you rolled your eyes “what Jeonghan”. He moved closer and gently moved your face so you were looking at him. "Are you still mad at me?" he asked innocently batting his eyes at you, acting as if he wasn't trailing his fingers up and down your arm. You sighed "I'm trying but I keep getting distracted". Jeonghan smirked a victorious grin and moved closer "then stop trying" and he kissed you softly. You sighed but didn’t push him away, if anything you held him closer. "You're such an ass" you told him and he grinned "I know but you love it really" and you hated to admit he was right.

Joshua - Dark concept photoshoots

Joshua was sweet and gentle, that was his thing and you loved him for it. You thought there was nothing more attractive than someone kind hence why you were so into Joshua. However, as much as you loved Seventeen's happy concepts there was just something about Joshua in the darker ones that you couldn’t resist.

Before each award show the two of you would find one another to say a few comforting words and wish each other luck. Tonight was Joshua’s turn but you weren’t prepared for him. Given Seventeen’s darker comeback you shouldn’t have been surprised Joshua was wearing a black leather shirt with chains running across it, but try telling that to your mind. 

“Hey” Joshua smiled still as cheery as ever “you excited for the show?”. You were on a five-second delay and blinked while you tried to process what he was saying. Finally you nodded “yeah are you?”. Joshua nodded and went to elaborate when he realised you weren’t listening. You seemed to be staring at his shirt and he recognised that dark look in your eye. 

“Like what you see?” he asked and that you did hear. “What makes you say that?” you asked and he smiled “y/n you’re practically undressing me with your eyes”. You blushed “sorry” but Joshua shook his head “don’t it’s hot, if you like this outfit so much how about I find a way to bring it home tonight?”. The thought made your stomach flutter and you nodded instantly “yes”. Joshua laughed “great well I’ll see you after the show” and then leaning forwards so he could whisper in your ear he added “enjoy the performance” and walked away leaving you feeling light-headed. 

Jun - So oblivious to subtle signs you send him

Jun had been touring for quite a while so when you finally got to go out together after 2 months you were quite taken with him appearance-wise. You of course knew every detail of your boyfriend by now but you’d forgotten the intensity of Jun. Like how nice his natural hair was or how nice and tanned his skin was or how great his arms looked in a shirt. 

You watched all through dinner and tried sending him signs you just wanted to take him back home but nothing. You'd been sending him looks and flirting none stop all night but it just went right over Jun’s head. When you took his hand in yours or started trailing up and down his arm he just smiled and said it tickled before doing it to yours. Jun’s inability to realise what you were doing made it even worse and his cool attitude was very hot to you. 

When you finally left the restaurant and got into the car Jun was still as oblivious as ever. "So what do you want to do when we get home? We could always stop off somewhere if you want?" he asked and you snapped. You lightly pushed him "you have to be teasing me! You can't be this oblivious". Jun frowned "what? I’m not teasing you". You groaned "Jun it's been 8 long weeks since I've seen you in person and tonight seeing you all dressed up really affected me. So all evening I've been trying to send you hint I wanted to go home so we could...be alone together. Did you really not notice?". Jun stared at you taking in what you said before he blinked "I didn’t...sorry you know I'm not good at picking up on those things". You chuckled "it's fine... it's kind of funny really. I was throwing myself at you all night and you just kept smiling". The car suddenly lurched forward as Jun sped into the road. "What are you doing?" you asked and Jun glanced at you "well we've got to get home don’t we? I always want you Y/n so all you have to do is ask and I'm yours. I would’ve left the second we arrived if you’d told me...but no matter. We'll be home in five minutes and I'm all yours". He shot you a dazzling grin and you smiled back pleased you were finally getting what you wanted. 

Hoshi - When he dominates group games

You were pretty quiet and socially anxious. Hoshi thrived on group environments and being social. So as a couple nobody saw you guys coming but it worked and one of the main reasons was you found Hoshi’s outgoing nature very attractive. You loved how he was so friendly and smiley but could also then cause so much chaos in games. 

The guys were playing the mafia game and you watched amazed as he didn’t get voted out even after admitting he was the mafia. He even won the cash prize and was heavily flaunting it over the boys and you had to admit, you did find him flexing his power hot. You were laughing along when Hoshi turned his attention on you. 

Hoshi smiled fanning himself with his money and swaggered over to you “fancy a nice dinner Y/n? On me of course”. You paused struck at how attractive you found him before nodding. You took his hand, letting him pull your upwards. He wrapped an arm around you and called goodbye to the boys before leading you out of the room. Hoshi began talking rapidly about the game and how much fun it was when he noticed something was off. That’s what you loved about him, no matter how loud or social he was, he always noticed you. 

“Are you okay yYn?” he asked “you seem quiet”. You nodded “I’m fine” but your voice sounded strained. Hoshi stopped walking and frowned “then why won’t you look at me”. “I don’t want to” you said softly and Hoshi began to panic. “Why? Has something happened? Do you not love me anymore?”. “No of course I do!” you cried “I just didn’t want you to see me blushing because I knew you’d tease me”. Hoshi now realised you were bright red and flustered making him smirk. “Why are you blushing like that! Did I do that?”. You shook your head “don’t pretend you don’t know”. “I don’t!” he cried “what did it? Was it the money”. “No I don’t care about that...it was your confidence when you announced you were the mafia and how none of them challenged you. It was very hot”. Now Hoshi blushed pleased at your words but he quickly recovered. “It was huh?” he asked nudging you. “Stop” you whined and Hoshi laughed “I never took you for a woman who likes power but now I know...” he smiled “I’ll be putting it to good use very soon”. Just the promise of that turned your legs to jelly and Hoshi loved it. He smirked at you before he suddenly carried on walking, surprising you. “Come on Y/n what are you standing around for?” he asked teasingly and you rolled your eyes but followed him. 

Wonwoo - So freaking respectful

Whoever said nice guys weren’t attractive hadn’t met Wonwoo

Working for a big company it was sometimes awkward or downright rude the way you were treated but not by Wonwoo. He was extremely polite and kind to every single person he met and that’s what attracted you to him in the first place. 

The staff had a running joke that you were head over heels for the man and they weren’t wrong. You might give him hints in games or show him small acts of favouritism every now and then but you couldn’t help it! On one of your first days he asked what your name was and thanked you every time you gave him his food but that was just the start. He saw you walking home once and gave you a ride in his car and asked if you needed picking up again in the morning. He asked for your opinion on song lyrics and actually listened to your advice and acted upon it. Best of all he always considered all the hard work both before and after that went into all the Going Seventeen episodes and never took it for granted. 

For example today, the guys had a paint fight and it was now your job to clean it all up after they got to leave. Wonwoo noticed you getting ready to tidy it all and told the guys to go ahead. The room cleared but he stayed and made his way over to you. “Hey, want any help?” he called. You noticed him and shook your head “no of course not! It’s fine, you go enjoy your evening”. Wonwoo shook his head “this is a lot for just one person to do, is there a team coming to help you?”. You shook your head “We all drew straws to work out which one of us would have to clean up and I got the short one. Don’t worry it’s fine. It won’t take me too long so it’s okay really”. Wonwoo frowned “I think I should help you”. When you went to protest again he smiled “It's okay Y/n I really don’t mind...plus I was thinking, maybe when we’re finished here we could go and have a meal or something?”. You paused and Wonwoo met your eye “like a date? Or just as friends if that’s what you’d prefer”. You paused, pleasantly surprised with how comfortable you felt in this situation and nodded “I’d like that, the date one”. Wonwoo smiled widely and you admired that before you could even stop yourself. “Great” he grinned “well I better get started then” and he got on the floor and started cleaning. Even dirty and covered in paint he was still the hottest man you’d ever seen on the inside and outside.   

Woozi - His amazing voice

Woozi was an incredible singer. Definitely the best ever in your eyes and you thought he was so talented. You loved listening to him sing and found his range and vocal abilities seriously impressive. 

You and Woozi had a date after he finished work but you finished a little earlier than him so he told you to just come to the studio and hang out while he finished recording. You did this often so made your way to Woozi’s regular booth and relaxed in the outer room. You waved at Woozi who was in the studio and he waved back smiling. He mimed he wouldn’t be long and you told him it was fine. You got all settled on a sofa with your phone when Woozi began to sing and it was like you were hypnotised. You just stared, watching him perform and listening to how beautifully he controlled his voice. He went higher and higher as the song built and then almost effortlessly reached and held the high note. He then brought the song back down again to a calm rhythm and ended it with a beautiful crisp note. 

When he finished you realised your mouth was hanging open as did the vocal coach. “Well that’s a thumbs up from Y/n” she laughed and Woozi blushed seeing you. You blushed too and shrugged “what can I say? You nailed that Woozi!” you called and he blushed. “Thanks Y/n” he said playing it cool but you knew he was pleased and as proof his eyes kept going to you every few seconds. The coach noticed and smiled “I think we’ve got what we need for today, why don’t the two of you head off and have a good night?”. Woozi nodded and grabbed all of his stuff before taking your hand “you ready?” he asked and you smiled “of course” and headed off into the night together. 

DK - Has no idea how good he looks

DK had mistakenly gotten it into his head that he wasn't attractive. 

You’d tried telling him this was ridiculous numerous times but it was his instinct and so he never seemed to realise if he was doing something hot. 

You were in the kitchen doing some work when Dk dame in. He asked if it was okay for him to go get some lunch and you told him of course. So Dk got to work making his dinner. He took off his jumper revealing his tank top and your eyes skimmed over his arms before going back to your laptop. Then DK started chopping vegetables and he had to use some force. Your eyes kept drifting to him as he used his weight to chop through the stem making his arm bulge. You swallowed but tried to carry on. Then Dk started washing the vegetable and got covered in the process. He sighed noticing and just whipped his shirt off in the middle of the kitchen. He grabbed a small apron to cover himself but if anything it just made his arms and chest look even bigger. He then trailed a hand through his hair while he wondered what to do next when he saw you watching him. 

He jumped seeing you fixed on him and smiled "why are you watching me?". "Because you're making it very hard to concentrate". Oh sorry was I being too loud?". "No your shirtless, damp and your arms look amazing". Dk stared as if trying to work out if you were joking before he laughed blushing "ow sorry...i didn’t realise". "That you’re very attractive? Shame on you". Dk laughed and put his things down "I'll go get a proper shirt and a long-sleeved one” he paused at the door "would you like to help me?". You smirked and closed your laptop with a satisfying snap. Your work was well and truly forgotten.

Mingyu - How well he takes care of you

You woke up on your birthday to the sound of someone moving around in your apartment. Considering you were home alone this was worrying. You tried Mingyu’s phone but when he didn’t pick up you grabbed the baseball bat from your wardrobe and headed outside. The noise was coming from your living room and you could see a shadow coming closer. You got ready to swing when at the last minute you recognised the stranger as your boyfriend and stopped, the bat inches from Mingyu’s face. He screamed and was on the floor in seconds “Y/n!” he gasped “happy birthday?”. You dropped the bat “Mingyu I’m so sorry I had no idea it was you, I thought you had work today?”. “I said that just so you wouldn’t expect me in your house which I now realise was a dumb idea”. You helped him up and then paused “wait what are you doing?”. Mingyu smiled “come see” and led you into your living room which you didn’t recognise. It was spotless and not just spotless but beautiful. Mingyu had tidied everything and also done all the repairs you’d been meaning to do for weeks. He’d also bought flowers and various other decorations you’d wanted for ages. The place smelled amazing and you laughed “you cleaned for me?”. Mingyu nodded “well I know how much you hate doing it and i’m not having you lift a finger on your birthday”. You went to speak when a timer went off in the kitchen. Mingyu smiled “follow me” and took your hand. 

He led you to the kitchen which was also squeaky clean but you were a little preoccupied to notice. Mingyu had made tons of food, all your favourites and seemed to have gone all out. “I’ve got breakfast foods, desserts, snacks and i’m doing the mains now so you can feast all day”. You gaped “Mingyu you didn’t have to do all this! It’s just a birthday”. Mingyu shook his head “no it’s your birthday and that makes it the most special day of the year”. He pressed a quick kiss to your lips and then grabbed you a chocolate-covered strawberry “so what would you like to try first?”. You smiled “well honestly it’s all amazing and I can’t wait to jump right in but what I’d really like is some time alone with my boyfriend”. Mingyu looked at you “seriously? But i’m all covered in food and don’t look that good”. You rolled your eyes at that and pulled him closer “you look amazing but more than that, you’re beautiful on the inside too and that’s the sort of thing that makes you irresistible”. Mingyu blushed and then shrugged “well I can’t say no to that” and he let your lead him away.   

The8 - Hair always looks so amazing

You had a thing for The8′s hair. No matter the colour or style everything suited him and it drove you crazy...especially when he'd just washed it.

You were relaxing in your boyfriend's room when he entered fresh from the shower with his hair still dripping slightly. It was bright red and looked very beautiful against his tanned skin.  

You watched transfixed as he took a seat and began to towel dry his hair gently. You couldn’t look away almost as if in a trance and heard him laugh "you're doing it again". 

You quickly found his eyes in the mirror and blushed "what can't I admire you?". The8 turned around so he was facing you "no but you also don't have to do it so silently like you're in awe or something". "But I am, your hair is just always so good! Who looks good in bright red hair? Nobody. And your curls! They drive me crazy and at this point I'm fairly sure you're not human" you carried on as The8 came over to the bed and pulled you into his lap. 

"I'm pretty concerned I'm dating an alien to be honest with you" you finally finished and The8 nodded "hmm really, that is interesting" and kissed you. You soon lost your thought and melted into him. The8 smiled and gently lifted your hands to his hair knowing you were just urging to do it. You sighed as your fingertips brushed his soft locks and you smelt his shampoo as you tousled it. "Don’t think you can distract me alien, I'm onto you". The8 smirked "I'm okay with that" and brought your lips back to his.

Seungkwan - How easily he makes friends 

You were an ambivert so could sometimes be extroverted and other times be introverted. Your introverted side tended to show more when you were nervous such as when you were at a work party. 

You’d only gotten this job within the last month so didn’t know tons of people and felt a bit uneasy in the room surrounded by people. You’d brought your boyfriend Seungkwan for moral support but he’d gone to get drinks and hadn’t come back yet so you were alone and awkwardly nodding to people who looked vaguely familiar. 

You were contemplating leaving when you heard a laugh you recognised. You turned to see Seungkwan chatting to two women you’d seen around and had always wanted to approach but never had the guts. You thought they looked too professional and impressive but here Seungkwan was making them giggle like children. 

He must’ve felt your gaze because he turned and saw you, beckoning you closer. “This is my girlfriend who i was telling you about” he said and the two women beamed at you. “Your boyfriend is very impressed with you” one said and the other nodded “he just cannot stop singing your praises”. You blushed “aww well he’s pretty biased” but the women shook their heads “not from the sound of it, did you really carry him up 3 flights of stairs when he broke his ankle?”. You nodded and told them the story and as they kept asking you more questions realised Seungkwan had been talking you up tons. He basically made friends for you and now these women were inviting you to have dinner with them and hang out outside of the office.

The whole time Seungkwan just watched, letting you do the talking and you caught his eye once more and smiled. Your boyfriend was the kindest person you knew and thus the hottest person to exist in your mind. 

Vernon - How he was always 100% Vernon

You were invited to your couple friend’s house and arrived to find the house a mess with the couple’s two children running around. 

The eldest, a girl of 4 opened the door, looked at you and then slammed it. Vernon chuckled “should we just leave?”. You heard a child yell inside and shrugged “maybe”. Then the door opened and your friend ushered you inside. “Sorry things have just been crazy this morning”. Vernon nodded “yeah I can imagine having 2 kids is hard”. “You have no idea” your friend replied and Vernon shot you a look which made you smirk. The two of you both weren’t crazy about kids which meant a great portion of your friends loved to tell you how your lives were so easy or incomplete. The two of you had turned it into a running joke. 

As you were hiding your laughter the daughter appeared again with the toddler in tow. “Who are you?” she asked Vernon who smiled “I’m Vernon and this Y/n”  but the parent didn’t like that “no he’s Mr Choi and this is Ms L/n. We’re trying to teach them to use respectful”. “Isn’t Scarlet 4?” Vernon asked and the parent nodded “yep, never too young to learn”. Vernon shrugged and the girl looked at you “are you married?”. “No we’re dating” Vernon said. “Don’t you want to get married?” she asked. Vernon shrugged again “maybe one day but we’re not too bothered about it”. The girl seemed scandalised “but my daddy says you have to get married”. “Well nobody has to get married and half of all couples get divorced nowadays anyway”. The parent’s jaws dropped and you smiled at how clueless Vernon was. 

On the way out Vernon turned to you “did I say the wrong thing?”. You smiled “I don’t think so but they can parent their children however they want”. Vernon nodded “just as long as I didn’t upset you”. You laughed “are you kidding? I found it hilarious and also kinda impressive how authentic you were. You never change no matter who you’re around and I like how you’re not kid crazy”. Vernon smiled and put an arm around you “well that’s not changing anytime soon”. “Is it weird that makes me really attracted to you?” you asked and Vernon laughed “I have no idea but it works for me”. 

Dino - Really good dancer

Despite dating an idol you weren’t really familiar with the business and were ashamed to admit you hadn’t heard of Seventeen before Dino. So you went to your first concert not knowing what to expect and were utterly blown away. 

You knew Dino was in the performance team and that he was a good dancer but you had no idea he was THIS good. 

He tore through all the concepts. The cute ones, the dark ones, the fast ones but your favourite were of course the mature ones. 

Dino was just so confident and fluid with his motions. You watched him unable to even scream or cheer because you were just so impressed. He looked so serious and just hot! He got a dance break in the centre and killed it, which he seemed to know. Before he left he sent a smirk out into the crowd which made them erupt and you found yourself laughing. 

After the show Dino came bounding over to you, still full of energy. “So what did you think?” he asked “I was a little tighter than usual and my vocals weren’t at their peak...” when you cut him off with a kiss. “You were amazing, your voice was so smooth and beautiful. You looked amazing and the dancing...” you paused and took a breath “were so hot”. Dino would’ve thought you were joking if it weren’t for how husky your voice turned and the way you were looking at him. “Ow you liked that?” he asked and you nodded “very much, any chance I can get a private show”. Dino nodded “give me an hour and you’ll have the show of your life”. 

___________________

Okay so seriously, I didn’t realise I was someone who was attracted to power until I watched that mafia Going Seventeen episode when Hoshi killed it as the mafia. That was hot. 

Also the Vernon one is what I find most attractive about him! I know a lot of people find guys who like kids attractive but as I do NOT want kids I’m the opposite and find it really hot when guys or girls don’t fawn over kids. 

I wrote this back when The8 had red hair but his hair was so good I couldn’t change it. The8 has seriously amazing hair! 

[sugarpasteltmnt]

What are some of your favorite character relationships/dynamics in TMNT, and why? Is there anything that you particularly like seeing explored with them in fan works (art, writing, comics, etc)?

oh wow!! what a fun ask!!

stashing this under a read-more because i really popped off LOL

My favorite relationships and dynamics??

I feel like i should preface this by admitting that Rise was actually my first real exposure to the TMNT franchise-- and after reading and watching some other iterations it became incredibly apparent how different Rise was in several aspects. And i loved it!!

but with TMNT as a whole, i really love the Leo and Raph dynamics across the TMNT universe (shocking i know lol). It's probably my favorite dynamic of the whole franchise lol. I love love love how they can clash against each other in dramatic ways. And yet, at the end of the day, they would lay down their lives for each other. It's so fun and heartwarming to see that across all the different TMNT iterations.

I also think how Splinter's relationship with the boys can drastically fluctuate between iterations is super interesting. Splinter is such a cool character, and playing with his relationship with the boys has such a crazy big impact on the story and vibe. My favorite Splinters are 2003 and Rise and those two are hilariously different. But something they share is their protectiveness of their families. Which is a dynamic some other iterations turn on its head! And I love that!

And April. GOD i love April so much. The concept of her character is a trope i love. A human who is not just a friend but family with non-humans??? I'm obsessed. And I love that each April of every iteration has her own level of unhinged-ness.

Honestly I could probably write a thesis on each character but I'll try to keep it short lol. But something I really love???

The TMNT franchise itself isn't afraid to experiment with its own iconic relationships or story beats.

It doesn't take itself too seriously while putting a lot of thought and care into the wild, different storylines or concepts. What I might think is an iconic relationship/dynamic in TMNT might be different than someone else's-- and that's fun! The level of flexibility and boldness for trying different things for dynamics and relationships is something I really adore about TMNT as a franchise.

There are tropes and dynamics that are totally my favorite. But I also love seeing those things experimented with!!! But I had to absolutely pick something, it would be all the dynamics seen in Rise. I just love it so much!!

And fan works??

as for what I like seeing being explored in fan works, i gotta say--

I LOVE IT ALL AHHHH!!!❤️💞💗💖💕❤️💞💗💖

TMNT is such a fun and unusual IP, and i totally enjoy seeing other fans going wild with their own creative ideas. I love seeing people pop off with whatever their hearts desire. Anything from the iconic tropes to the niche, hyper-specific concepts-- I love it all. Because there is so much to explore with these characters. And I adore seeing people having fun with their ideas. It's hard to answer what my 'favorite' things to see are because I'm greedy for ALL of it! Because seeing all the different experiments with my favorite dynamics and relationships is so incredibly refreshing and exciting!!

I love seeing people play with each brother's relationship with one another. I love seeing the different takes on Splinter and his role as a father figure (or lack of). I love seeing the potential early-days of Rise-April's relationship with the boys as kids. I love every possible take on every possible character. I will always be a sucker for the juicy story tropes. But I'm just as ravenous for the off-the-cuff twists and concepts. I love any and all of it. Because it's so fun to see what people can cook up-- especially when it's a setup that you never would've thought of before but gave you a new perspective!!!

Because at the end of the day, TMNT is-- frankly-- a silly franchise. And it knows it! But it's not afraid to put in the serious moments and emotions that make all the dynamics interesting. And it's not afraid to experiment with its own building blocks. And I love that fans aren't afraid to push the unexpected in fan works, or do a deeper dive of the dynamics and relationships we've seen in different iterations.

This turned more into a love letter for all TMNT and TMNT fans rather than what my favorite parts are, but it's still all true! I am constantly collecting my favorite dynamics and tropes and putting them in my mental shelf of favorite things. While there are classics I'll always love no matter what, some days the flavor changes!!! And I love that TMNT both as a franchise and as a fandom is so diverse when experimenting with these characters!!

So, in a way this is me saying keep having fun creating and experimenting--because not only does it make me happy, but I hope it makes you happy too 🩵

[attic-club-sandwich]

Thoughts on Mammon being a bird dad?

Like there isn't a doubt in my mind he names them all. From cool names like Gucci to names of an object, like Rocky because he saw a rock on the ground... he's running out of names

omg i could go on all day about bird dad Mammon! He definitely treats his crows like his children. I always thought it was such a cool concept for him to be able to communicate with them (since they are his familiars... in my mind at least!)

But here's some of my personal headcanons/thoughts:

I imagine that when Mammon first enters the Devildom, he spots a crow sitting on the fence as they are leaving the Demon Castle for the first time.

Then all of a sudden more keep landing and he keeps hearing voices calling out to him and his brothers.

"H-Hey uh, do you guys hear that too?"

The brothers shoot him weird glances since they think he's crazy, and for a second he thinks he's also losing his mind.

Then all of a sudden he realizes the birds are talking to him.

Beckoning him over to the fence.

It's like they immediately knew who he was.

Mammon hesitantly walked over to them, instinct telling him to hold out an arm.

One gently lands on him, looking directly into Mammon's golden gaze.

It speaks words that only he can understand, leaving his brothers visibly confused.

Mammon starts forming relationships with the birds, giving them gifts and getting things back in return.

There's a tree outside of Mammon's window that has the perfect branch that extends right past his bedroom window, so the crows often perch outside and tap on the window when they return home.

They like to bring him things like buttons, bells, stones, rings, etc.

They'll even bring him Grimm that they find laying around on the streets.

Mammon is very quick to return to his bedroom after RAD to see what gifts that they brought him.

He also keeps all of the feathers that the crows leave behind. He has a collection.

He always gets something to bring back for his crows too, like a shiny rock or a Demonus bottle cap he found or maybe some leftover snacks from the RAD cafeteria.

Mammon usually has peanuts or something in his pockets, and Lucifer gets very annoyed on laundry day (if he forgets to give them to his crows lol)

As far as naming them, i feel like you are absolutely right lol he definitely has them named after luxury brands like Gucci or Louis Vuitton or something 💀

He would also totally name them by the first ever gifts they brought him! So Rocky is 100% a possibility he's so cute omg.

Maybe he isn't too good at coming up with names sometimes so he has MC help him name them too because new crows will come along 💕 (baby crows perhaps?!)

He basically has his own personal little army of crows. He commands them and they listen and do favors for him, but he also takes care of them too in return.

If one returns injured, he will personally see to nursing it back to health!

He definitely takes his dad/grandpa responsibilities seriously. 😂

thank you for sending this in, Hack! I had so much fun rambling about this it sorta just turned into a headcanon haha

Taglist: @amberrskiies @obey-me-posts @sassykattery @delphi-dreamin @bite-sized-devil @a-hidden-gem @otomefoxystar @marvelous-maniac @nonbinary-disaster @selfmadender @animeismyhappyplace @vampire-tr4mp @ana-dear @gaychaosgremlin @sidgethegamer @meiloorun-tea @temnuk0

[chemblrish]

You are literally living my ideal life! (I dream of getting a degree in and working in chemistry) What are the drawbacks/ highlights of your work in university?

Hello!

I'm so happy to hear you want to major in chemistry :) It's a beautiful, fascinating science and the superior one at that. Keep in mind this is my experience as a first year student (and if any older chemistry students want to chime in, please do!)

Personally, I'm very much in love with my faculty, so it's hard to be totally objective snhfks but what I really enjoy about my studies is how I get to learn all the important concepts in depth. Everything I once learnt on a simplified surface level now I get to explore with more nuance: things like calculating pH, precipitation, solubility, it's all a lot more complex than what they can (understandably) tell you in school and it's really satisfying to be able to dig into that.

Speaking of calculations, I liked math a lot back in hs and I was good enough with it, but definitely not math student level - and I feel like chemistry is perfect for me, bc I get to do math nearly everyday, but it's not the terrifying kind that physicists deal with that hard (unless you choose theoretical chemistry I guess, but that's definitely not my sort of thing).

Then you have the practicals and it's so satisfying that you get to do everything yourself! First semester we mostly worked in groups bc we were babies, but now we work by ourselves and it's so cool to see how your manual skills improve, how much more comfortable you become working in lab, how what you learnt in lectures and what you learnt in practice come together.

I've always been very curious about the natural world and now I'm studying it with people who love what they do, who are extremely knowledgeable and intelligent, who want me to learn and succeed. Also, our puns are the best 😁

Now, for the drawbacks...

Back to seriousness though: I'm not sure if any of the cons I'm about to list are chemistry specific, I think being in uni is just Like That™️, but I'd say the failures hurt like crazy. Sometimes I study so hard and do my best but still get a low grade. Chemistry is a demanding major. And the thing is, everyone around is also working so hard, and it looks like you're surrounded by absolutely brilliant people (I know I am!), so your insecurities may really flare up.

Consistency and discipline are absolutely necessary - once you fall behind, it can be very difficult to catch up and I guess you can see how that gets stressful at times. Similarly, you need to be mindful about what you study - you come across a difficult topic, decide to skip it to save some precious time, and I can promise you that each one of those without a fail will come up sooner or later like the hiccups. Basics first. You need to grasp them well and not shy away from things you don't instantly understand.

Each semester is a bit different, but my second one in particular has been exhausting in terms of the number of classes I had to take. After 7h (and a million reactions...) in lab I still had to go to another class and wrestle with Excel, and the only reason I was able to come home afterwards and do Nothing™️ was because I'd spent the entire previous weekend studying.

Every major has its downsides though. I used to study something else (biotechnology if you're curious) and I hated it, so I think I'm a lot more aware of what I like and dislike now, what I can endure, and what I care about - and I've found out chemistry is something I care about deeply, something I can picture myself choosing over and over again if given the chance. That means the pros outweigh the cons for me.

I hope this answers your question and didn't bore you to death 😅

[seth-shitposts]

💚&💙

THIS honestly

Lmaooooo

We have a funny fucking story. (This is one of the few memories we have access to)

So one of the pilots in middle school. The pilot never understood the concept of wanting to be in a relationship. Did not understand the hype. Was annoyed that peers were acting so "stupid" over things. Like it's not that big a deal. Calm down. There were so many other things that were more interesting.

At around the same time there was also this stupid prank game that a group of boys were playing. We were undiagnosed autistic and didn't realize we were queer. And we adopted all the "weird" peers. People don't like you and make fun of you and you're anxious to make friends? Well you're our friend now. No you can't say no. We hang out now. Tell me about the things you like pls. You're different from our peers? People make fun of you for being "edgy"? Well we think you're cool af. Share your music taste with us. People think you're "annoying"? Be our friend because we are practically mute. You have free range over the talking of the convo and we actively listen to what you have to say, this is amazing.

We made friends with some people that our peers would avoid and mock. So by association, we fell from invisible into that category. It was more annoying than anything. Because stupid game the guys in the grade were playing? It was something along the lines of whoever lost a bet or a dare or some shit had to ask out one of "The weird ones". I honestly can't remember how many times some guy who we didn't know and were barely acquainted would come over and ask us out. We turned them down every time because even though we couldn't put our finger on it, we felt like we were being mocked. (Because we were)

And then there was also the annoying thing where adults in our life kept saying stupid shit like "it's only a matter of time before the child gets into that boy crazy stage" or the even more annoying "is that child alright? That isn't normal..." (concerning our extreme disinterest in boys).

So how does one kill two birds with one stone?

The pilot at the time decided that, obviously, the best way to get the boys to keep us out of their stupid game and for adults to stfu about us "not being normal" was to say yes to the next boy who asked us out.

And ngl, the pilot absolutely loved how awkward the guy who asked us out got. He was so uncomfortable because the last 7 people we said no to. He was probably expecting the same. Nope. These are the consequences. You get to be our fake relationship for a few months.

And he was our fake relationship for a few months. He even played into it. (Keep in mind, he had no clue he was just being used as a facade.) The adults backed off, as did the game shit. And then he finally came clean and told us what was happening and that he wasn't actually interested in us. We didn't make him feel bad for it, because we didn't even take the "relationship" as seriously as he had. We just pretended enough to get people to stop being annoying.

i didn't have "i'm broken" teenage asexual angst i had "i'm literally being the only reasonable one about this concept and the rest of you are behaving like fucking freaks" perception issues

[ghostlyaberrations]

Not a normal post and you can ignore It just been told I should wright things down so basically a report on my mental health I guess  what’s going on medical wise at the moment and a vent like thing cuz again been told to

Bro I hate hate having to feel cringe or like have someone think I’m emo in a loser way cuz I say something like my mind is shattered or i feel empty or fuck or I laughed and sounded like the fucking joker

Like bro I’m not even try to I swear I just have a hard time trying to explain how I’m feeling or my mental state so only things I can think to say to explain is shit that sounds cringe or make me look like I’m trying to be cool

And the fucking fact that I laugh when it becomes to much some time

Been told it’s because i cope with things with humor which is common is

But others don’t know that so I must look so fucking cringe laughing fucking joker style sometimes in tears (again not on purpose)

And realize recently people probably think that shit to the way I stare off eyes stuck looking at one spot or some times I’m just stuck in general

I don’t fully know why I do this I recently said something about it again more in detail in front of my physical therapist and they said i should really look into that actually

I’ve mentioned this stuff before, but I don’t know if I say it correctly or some thing but now everybody (medical wise aka physical therapist and normal therapist ) are freaking out and taking it Seriously encouraging me to see a doctor pacifically a neurologist, I think they said which I am, but I still think it’s more so my anxiety, causing me to do that 

They are thinking it’s staring spells maybe or certain kind of seizure which I don’t think it’s that but I was happy, knowing I’m not crazy for thinking it might be that because I’ve heard similar stuff to it and thought maybe but I didn’t want to overexaggerate so i denied possibility before even looking into it

I basically have a meltdown during my therapy session I’m actually doing this a hour or so, after the fact right now idk my concept of time is bad

Started talking about how I get told to do this or that  and I keep saying it i already do or it doesn’t work and mostly every time I’ve already tried it, or been doing it on my own. I’ve tried so many things sometimes before I was even asked 

( I keep getting lost so I’m just start another sentence thing)

But after this, I literally felt like no one understood a word I said, because even after this, my mom was going on giving the me advice again 

I just don’t know what to do. I feel like no one hears or understands half the time I poured my heart out, basically had a fucking meltdown, and nothing came across. Absolutely nothing. Mom  just started giving me advice about the very thing i had a melt down about  she didn’t understand anything even after all of that

And started bringing up religion about how that would also help

And that’s literally one of my triggers

I literally love my mom so much but omg i just want to cry so fucking hard

literally after all of that nobody heard anything nothing

I don’t know what to do

I’m going to stop i can’t think rn to finish i just want to cry

[lxvislxdy]

Imagine Bakugou x stoner!reader

So... maybe I got carried away, and maybe this turned into more of just you and the bakusquad being besties, but I literally love this concept and will 100% be writing more.

Warning(s): obvious mentions of drug use, and some language. All characters are 18+.

So, let’s say, just for the hell of it, that this is a quirkless!college!au 

just imagine...

- you befriend Sero and Denki first, meeting them in a class, and they love you right off the bat

- you’re personality just meshes so well with theirs, you become bffs almost instantly

- the three of you raise hell in that class, I’m convinced, like RIP to whoever sits near you goofs

- you slowly start to hang out outside of class. maybe it starts as a study sesh, but let’s be honest here. the three of you can’t focus to save your life, and eventually Sero asks if you guys wanna smoke

- and, to their complete surprise, you outsmoke them (Denki later bows down to you, literally, and proposes to you with a ring pop. he’s such a dork I love him)

- this becomes a weekly thing, as it should, and the three of you are practically attached at the hip

- your favorite part of hanging with them is, of course, all their crazy stories about their friends

- so of course they want to introduce you to the bakusquad, and you are just as eager to meet the rest of the group, if not a little nervous

- Denki and Sero assure you they’ll love you (”c’mon, you’re just like us, they’ll adore you!!!”) and they take you out to lunch with Mina and Kirishima

- now, if you thought you, Denki, and Sero was a chaotic trio, just wait until you add Mina to the equation

- Kirishima lives for the chaos and thinks you’re adorable, but the guy has his hands full keeping the four of you out of trouble, that’s for sure

- (when Bakugou’s not around, Kirishima is in charge of the braincell, I don’t make the rules)

- Mina immediately kidnaps you for a girls night, and is ecstatic about having a girl to hang out with her and the boys 

- (SIDE NOTE, Mina introduces you to Jirou, and the three of you are THE baddest bitches around, thank you. the three of you definitely have girl nights and either kick the boys out, or force them to join, face masks and all)

- anyway, you finally get the opportunity to meet Bakugou

- and, as always, he’s in a sour mood. but! you don’t let his grumpiness upset you, in fact, you take it in stride and throw his attitude right back at him

- you aren’t mean, and you certainly aren’t going out of your way to bug him, but if Bakugou makes a snide comment? you better believe you’re throwing one right back at him

- and at first, Bakugou is annoyed, and thinks you’re mocking him. like, who do you think you are? 

- but the more he gets to know you, he realizes that you’re way too sweet to be that mean. you fit right in with the idiots he’s friends with.

- and, to be honest, it drives him nuts. because he likes you. he likes you, and he likes when you snap back at him, and he likes watching you goof off and laugh with his friends

- in true Bakugou fashion, though, you’re convinced he hates you. it’s just the icing on top of the cake when one night you notice that every time you’re there, and Sero lights up, Bakugou disappears 

- when you finally tell Mina this, she laughs. actually laughs! and you’re just like ....what?

- turns out, Bakugou hardly ever smokes with them, and he’s just like that. 

“Trust me, babe,” Mina tells you, “It’s not you. Bakugou just doesn’t know how to relax, he’s got a terrible case of trust issues and a bad attitude to top it off. But he likes you, trust me! He’ll come around.”

- you weren’t so sure about that, but you take her word for it. 

- and then, one night it’s just you, Denki, Mina, and Bakugou, and he stays!

“Someone with a brain has to make sure you idiots don’t do something stupid.” He says, when you ask.

- that night ends up being one of the funniest nights of your life. the three of you are high as a kite, and everything is funny. seriously, you can’t stop laughing!

- then, you find out Bakugou’s birthday is on 4/20, and you have never been so excited in your life (so you say). it’s the funniest, most ironic thing to you

- you go up to Bakugou, grabbing both his arms by the biceps, and are going on and on about it, bouncing on the balls of your feet and giggling, and Bakugou just listens to you talk and he blushes 

- you’re adorable, and he can’t lie to himself anymore, he likes you. he really likes you. and this realization really freaks him out (he calls Kirishima later that night absolutely freaking out, and he has to totally calm him down. Kiri ships it)

- over the next month or two, he tries his best to not give himself away, but it’s so hard. 

- he starts sticking around when everyone smokes together, and sitting next to you during movie nights (because you always fall asleep, and theres a good 80% chance you end up leaning on his shoulder), and he offers to help when you complain about a class you’re struggling with

- and it all comes to a head one night when he gets jealous. 

- he was definitely reading too much into things, but he swears you’re acting clingy with Sero, leaning on his shoulder, and grabbing his arm when you laugh, and playing with his hair. he definitely has himself convinced Sero is making a move on you, and he’s pissed.

- at some point during the hangout, he gets up and storms out of the room, and no one really notices but you and Kiri. after a minute or two you’re curiosity gets the best of you, so you go after him

- he’s in the kitchen, glaring at this plant Denki and Sero have (that is totally, 100% dying, and probably can’t be saved) and he’s pouting

“I don’t think staring at it is gonna bring it back to life.” You say, and he just looks at you weird and asks what you want

- you say you’re just checking on him, and he asks why you care. and you’re just like dude ??? i care about you? hello? we’re friends ??

- and Bakugou, being himself, snaps at you and makes some kind of rude comment

- so you snap back, offended because you’d just wanted to check on him

- and halfway through you telling him what a jerk he is, he kisses you

- he kisses you like his life depends on it, because he’s still pissed off about Sero and, come on, Bakugou Katsuki doesn’t do anything halfway

- and maybe the two of you make out in the kitchen for way longer than you want to admit

- and maybe you laugh and call him an idiot when he tells you he was jealous of Sero

- and maybe Denki catches the two of you, and screams like a little girl on christmas morning

- cue protective Denki and Sero telling Bakugou he better not EVER hurt you... and then crying happy tears a minute later because you’re so cute together

- after that, Bakugou is literally never seen without you by his side. he walks you to class, cooks you dinner at least once a week, helps you study and takes you out every time you ace a test. this man knows your coffee order, and has your schedule memorized, it’s impressive 

- god forbid he see’s you eating junk food

- listen, he knows how Denki and Sero eat when they get the munchies, okay, and that is absolutely not allowed. this man is such a simp behind closed doors, he will literally make you homemade snacks for when you go smoke with the guys. 

- he’s not the greatest with words, okay, but he loves you and he shows it through small things like that. he’s always pushing you to do your best, and bragging about you, and doing little things to remind you how much he cares

- he’s also a little over protective, but he means well, and cmon it’s kinda cute when he get’s jealous, sometimes

- but overall you guys are just the cutest couple. like the bakusquad is absolutely obsessed. (you make Bakugou soft, but don’t tell him they said that)

- and sure you fight over little things every once in a while, but you learn how to handle Bakugou’s attitude quick, and it never lasts too long. 

- if you do have a big fight, you take a step back and let each other cool down, and then you make Bakugou talk it out. he hates it at first, because sharing his feelings is so not something he wants to do, but it does help and he knows it.

- if, on the rare occasion, the two of you have a bad fight you can’t resolve on your own, therapist Kiri is there to save the day

Bonus:

- now, let’s get down to the whole reason i made this au in the first place

- the first time the two of you celebrate his birthday after getting together, he makes it clear that the day of he just wants to spend it with you

- so the weekend closest to his bday, the whole squad goes out and celebrates, but when it comes to his actual bday? Bakugou has a surprise for YOU

- you show up to his apartment, not really knowing what to expect, and this man pulls out a pan of brownies

- yeah, those brownies

- turns out, he and Sero used to sell them in high school

“What? Sero already sold, and I can cook, so we just... did it. It was good money.”

“How could you keep this from me?! Have I told you recently that I adore you?”

He just laughs, “You’re such a dork.”

- so you have the PLEASURE of getting high with Bakugou for the first time

- and let me just tell you, you’re in for a treat

- Bakugou. is. so. clingy. as soon as it hits, you know, because he’s wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into his lap

- he’s speaking so softly?? and he’s just relaxed, and content with holding you and talking about anything and everything, just cuddling with music in the background

- high! makeout sessions! with Bakugou! that’s it, that’s literally it. he is INSATIABLE 

- the man just wants to kiss you, for hours, okay? give him what he wants!!

- he used to get super paranoid, that’s why he doesn’t smoke much, but with you he’s calm and comfortable, and not anxious

- it becomes tradition to make brownies on both of your birthdays, and you look forward to it all year

- and every once in a while, Bakugou will smoke with the squad, and they quickly learn that he can’t keep his hands off of you when he’s high. they tease him relentlessly, and Sero and Denki definitely have asked him (aka whined to him) to stop hogging all your attention

- also, he definitely lights the bowl for you, because he is a gentlemen

- shotgun kisses. yup. that’s all I have to say.

before I get carried away again, this is the end. Thank you for reading! I literally can’t get enough of this au I’m in love with it!! I’ll be writing more of this au soon, hopefully, and my requests are open!! 

[klanced]

Man. I know Voltron loved to bungle plot points but they absolutely squandered Alfor’s potential. Making Alfor an AI was literally SUCH a cool idea & concept and then they made him do nothing for five episodes. And then they killed him off. 🗿

Like.. okay first of all lore wise the writers just casually revealed that Alteans are so advanced that they can digitize memories/consciousness (WHICH IS SO CRAZY COOL). Which in turn opens up so many possibilities like... if you can literally upload your consciousness to the iCloud, does that mean you’re effectively immortal? Is Alfor technically still “alive”? Does Alfor have legal rights?! What’s the status of AI citizenship.

And beyond world lore. It would have been so interesting to see Alfor interact with the Team. Can you imagine the character dynamics? Alfor was literally the founding member of Voltron. He was literally the IDEAL mentor for the team, and we never saw him give even a single piece of advice 🤯 Was he even in the training episode? Like at all??

Also can you imagine if he like awkwardly adopted Keith because #TeamRed 😭 And Lance’s random Altean broadsword might have actually meant something if he had spent time with Alfor.

And finally. I only started thinking about Alfor because I was thinking about Allura (as usual). The episode where Alfor gets corrupted is one of the best episodes IMO but I wish it had happened later in the show 😭 I wanted to see Alfor and Allura interact more. Also ALFOR AND CORAN but yes, absolutely Alfor & Allura. Again, what’s the status of AIs in the Voltron universe? Is Allura mildly discomforted by the fact that her father is a virtual ghost? Is she caught in this weird halfway point where she’s trying to process everything, but she keeps getting thrown off by the fact that her father is in some weird purgatory state? I know she’s grateful that she still has her dad in some capacity. But the knowledge of the situation has to seriously screw with your head.

[0poole]

I LOVE No Straight Roads

Honestly it’s hard to keep me away from a game with great visuals and even greater character design. I knew from the INSTANT I saw these characters that I was going to love it. I just finished it because it’s (unfortunately) pretty short, and even though I cheesed the final boss through it’s very lenient death mechanics (Instant respawn at the cost of a good rank) I actually appreciated that it wasn’t a pure cake walk. I’ve yet to rematch all of the bosses, but since I had genuine trouble with the later ones I’ll hold off on that.

But who cares about gameplay, am I right? I sure as hell don’t. I would’ve bought the game no matter what the hell it was. I wanted the characters (and the music, although I realized that second) and that was it. 

First of all, I love any world that is super fantastical but cheesy in its concept, ala a city powered by music, and battles between artists using music. Ideas like this only spawn from a mind that wants to create a fun atmosphere, if nothing else, and it was sure as hell fun. I genuinely love when someone goes so far into a crazy idea and doesn’t waste your time explaining it with real world logic. Wanna know how a city can be powered by music? Shut up and look at the cute virtual mermaid. Lord knows I did. Every once in a while, it does you good to just let the player/reader/viewer just revel in the idea without having to go out of your way to make things seem realistic. It’s not about “turning your brain off” or whatever, it’s picking your battles.

Also, I can seriously love a world with great background characters to it. Any game with the right situation to insert the random nobodies you find onto the streets into the art in the credits really played into the greatness of the world’s less important characters, and that’s always a good thing. It’s technically world building. But, since I always love to pick favorites, I’d have to say my favorite background character is easily Mia, the NSR infodesk assistant. It’s funny, because you can literally search “nsr characters” into Google and she’s the third image result. I love how jumpy she is when you first interact with her, since NSR probably spread the word about B2J suggesting they’re rock thugs who’d beat up anyone, so for all she knows she could die right then and there with a guitar lodged in her skull. She’s probably just some intern trying to pay for college. She don’t want trouble.

Also, I just realized that 90% of the characters in this game have the same body structure that I always love, that being having arms/legs that sort of fan out in width into relatively large hands/feet. It’s a kind of limb structure I fall into so much because it just really hits me right for some reason. I really can’t explain why.

Anyways, I gotta talk about the big boys individually:

Mayday and Zuke are an amazing duo. I’m always a sucker for a cute and crazy girl, but honestly Zuke hit so many of the right notes too. I will say it’s weird to pair the martian Zuke with the humanly-skinned Mayday, but honestly it doesn’t even matter because he looks so cool on his own. I love his weird blocky blue dreadlocks, and his weirdly shaped shirt which bares his chest in the weirdest way... And, oh my god, Mayday’s weird Spongebob background flower eyes? It’s little tidbits like that that really make me jealous. How could I have ever thought of that? It looks so perfect, and I don’t know why. And her little booty jig she does in her idle animation? Adorable. I played as her as much as was reasonable not only because I’m a filthy button masher with little strategy but also because she’s so damn cute. I can also appreciate how she has a tough-as-nails persona while still keeping a semi-girly attitude, like with her falling for 1010 and Sayu. Characters are so much better when they’re a perfect blend of characteristics, instead of being all one-note, like how Zuke is the quiet one but gets heated against DK West, and all. 

Honestly the voice acting for every character is great, but I love when Mayday’s VA’s accent shows through. It’s a perfect twang to accent (consider this the only acknowledgement of a pun in this post) her snarkiness. 

DJ Subatomic Supernova was going to be an easy favorite since he’s all space-themed. Also, I don’t know why I always end up liking the egotistic characters. Not in the sense that I like their egotistic-ness, but in the sense that I like everything else about them and they just so happen to also be egotistic. The same applied with Empoleon (maybe like my 2nd favorite Pokemon) and Rarity from MLP, probably among others. Either way, I’ll never not love space themes. Not to mention he’s got a funky disco theme, and I’m slowly starting to realize that I am in extreme love with techno-funk styles of music. The instant I heard his music he cemented his place into my playlists. 

As for design, I still have no idea what the fuck he is. Clearly AI is at human levels in this world, but if he’s a robot why does he still have hairy legs? But, if he’s a human, is that weird orb his head? Is it just some sort of puppet which he controls from inside his giant jacket? I know I dissed explaining things realistically but I actually want to know with this guy. Even the wiki doesn’t say. Either way, he’s clearly the logical extreme of “being at the center of your own universe.” Even his jacket depicts a solar system, with his hood being the sun. Didn’t see that until I tried to draw him. I really wish this guy wasn’t so tied to his DJ stand so I could reasonably draw him without it. I don’t want to draw his hairy ass legs. It is a great touch for his design though (although I prefer his beta look with pants and long boots, another design trait I tend to gravitate to) since DJs could reasonably not wear pants, since they’re always behind a table.

Sayu is my favorite. It’s so plainly obvious. It’s weird to say that sometimes, because some characters like Sayu are so clearly engineered to be as adorable as possible, to the point where they’re basically a parody of whatever they’re supposed to be emulating, but then they do that so well that they are still likable for what they’re trying to parody. Also, even though I’ve never looked into any vocaloid superstars myself, the fact that they exist and are loved in real life is absolutely perfect to be used as a character design in a world like this. It’s so weird conceptually, but we all know it’s normal and realistic. But yeah, she’s a giga-cutie whom I’ve already drawn and I’ve listened to her theme on loop on many different occasions. Favorite character, favorite track, favorite weapon of choice (What did I say about Empoleon?), which, and I wouldn’t have noticed this myself, looks like the USB symbol you see above USB ports on computers. How crazy perfect is that?

Even apart from my unbridled love for cute monster robot(?) girls, her boss fight is probably the 2nd greatest of them all, at least conceptually. She’s just a hologram, so you can’t touch her, but you CAN disconnect the artists which control her in order to defeat her. It’s the kind of concept for a boss fight that could only work for this type of character. I’m a sucker for the cute girl that provides her voice, but I love how the animator (video editor? the yellow one) actually attacks you with a mouse and lowers the brightness of the setting once he appears. Also, the mocap guy being the deeply-voiced type but still providing the adorable movements of her body. It’s such a great combo of characters, and their little extra art in the credits makes me like them even more. I just wish we could interact with them individually.

DK West was probably one of the most interesting characters visually, especially since I knew of every other NSR member long before the game came out, but I only just heard of him closer to the release. I wasn’t sure where he was placed, but I definitely assumed his gig was the weird shadow demon we saw in the trailers. When I finally saw him in game, I was shocked to hear him speak an entirely different language most of the time, which was really cool. Also, finding out he was tied to Zuke and wasn’t strictly an NSR artist really made him more interesting. You know, if his fucking shadow clone magic didn’t make him crazy cool enough. Even though I suck at his game and am not especially fond of his raps, the visual of him rapping with this giant monster behind him and dozens of weird shadow wingmen by his side hyping him up was probably one of the coolest in the entire game. The dark way they were hyping him up too gave such a bizarre atmosphere, especially since it parallels his seemingly chill and smiley demeanor. 

I definitely hope they’ll introduce new bosses as DLC in the future, and make them sort of in the same vein as DK West, where they aren’t the biggest artists ever, but they want to pick a fight with B2J. I’d kill for any extra content this game can provide.

Yinu is obviously special since she was the subject of the demo they put out for the game. Even though I knew all her bells and whistles, she and her mom still beat me a few times in the full game. Considering she’s semi-tied to story-ish spoilers I kinda want to go more into her in a separate section. It is worth considering playing the game first since it’s not hard (with the easy going deaths) and it’s short length.

1010 seriously grew on me as I learned more about them and interacted with them. I got their shtick when I first looked at them, but after seeing that animation of them touring the city on Youtube I was kinda falling for them. Then, I learned that they’re apparently repurposed navy war robots? I mean, maybe not them specifically, but it seems to heavily point in that direction, with the warship cars and “attention!”s and all. It took me a bit to get into their music too, but once I actually fought them and put their actions to the music I fell in love with it. I swear, Neon J’s weird dancing can has some of the smoothest moves in all of gaming. I don’t know whether they mocapped out those movements or got one of the greatest animators ever, but it looks so impossibly clean his part of the song gets me like 30x more hype than it would normally. 

Also, their little art piece of them looking at fan mail in the credits is probably one of the most adorable things ever. Even if they’re just Neon J’s puppets, that piece of art really makes it seem like they love every one of their fans. I’m not gonna lie, I might swoon a bit too if they picked me out and gave me some special attention.

Oh yeah, and the fact that Mayday was super sad in her showstopper against them was adorable and hilarious at the same time. The little tweaks they made to the showstopper for each fight were great.

Eve just has to be Lady Gaga, right? Like, an even crazier Lady Gaga. DJSS is Daft Punk (or any artist with a helmet persona, you know what I’m talking about), Sayu is Hatsune Miku, DK West is Kanye West, Yinu is a generic child protege, 1010 is a KPop boyband (just pick one) and Eve is Lady Gaga. That’s just how things are. But, again, this is the kind of boss fight that only this type of character could provide. It’s not just surreal imagery, it’s ARTISTIC surreal imagery. The fight is so mesmerizing in every way, especially by how it starts off so slow and calm and progresses to insanity, as well as the increased emotional investment in the fight making you feel so much more into it than just “That’s the boy band. Let’s fight.” Not only does it get you more invested, but it makes her artistic persona go deeper than just “she looks weird.” She is genuinely conflicted about her relationship with Zuke, and naturally that leads her to literally split him and Mayday apart. That mechanic specifically was the coolest, although I do wish they made it more obvious when you needed to switch over to a different side. I was getting pulverized by her fight too, since there were so many things to pay attention to. Her fight was definitely the best one. 

Tatiana and Spoilers:

Let’s be real with ourselves, the twist was so obvious. I do also think, though, that obvious twists aren’t bad if they’re just good reveals. At some point, a person just has experienced so many stories that “only pretty good” twists are easy to spot. It doesn’t mean that the twists are bad, it just means you yourself experienced.

I feel like her transition from rock to EDM was pretty understandable, even as a non-musician. She was so caught up in what she assumed was popular that it basically consumed her. It’s easy as an artist to want to forgo what you truly want to make in favor of what makes you popular, and clearly since her transition to EDM made her the CEO of the biggest company in the city (world?) that probably made her think she truly needed to change her outlook. Then, when she saw B2J try to bring it back, she sort of coined them as being as misguided as she was and knocked them down a peg. Plus, they were kinda being jerks about it.

It’s kinda like the Trolls sequel, where everyone pegs rock music fanatics as being too stuck up in their own heads to appreciate other types of music, which honestly seems more like the case than the alternative. When I first heard of the story of the game, I was seriously hoping they did put an asterisk on B2J’s ambitions because they were a bit sketchy from the start. 

That’s kinda where I want to talk about Yinu, because she was the true turning point in what they were doing. She’s literally 9 and yet she’s getting dragged into all this BS. When she said “I hate you all” at the end of her fight, and played a somber tune on her broken piano after the fight destroyed it, you kinda got a kick in the face to realize you’re kinda being an asshole to some of them. Sure, they fight back, but they wouldn’t fight in the first place if they didn’t have to. They are just people who play music under a joint name that B2J just so happened to get in hot water with. 

Then, of course, there’s Kliff, who also reeked of surprise villain, and who’s basically the embodiment of the bad side of B2J, where he just wanted to destroy for his own sake and not for the actual greater good. Once B2J realized their mistake, they backed off, but Kliff was so hard pressed to do what he planned on in the first place he wouldn’t stop. I kinda wish he got a bigger fight to his own since he’s clearly a big enough tech genius to divert a whole satellite into one specific building. Maybe the Elliecopter chase bit was his thing, but I do kind of wish he was there to fight against them too.

Even though Tatiana did kind of reform a bit quick, It’s still not too crazy to assume she could see that B2J was just misguided and the fact that they worked to revert their wrongdoings for her sake would make a pretty strong impressions. They clearly can hold their own, so it’s not like she wouldn’t want them to join NSR too. 

Oh yeah, and her boss fight was clock/time themed. If there’s a theme under space that I love, it’s clocks/time. 

And If I am to be respected by the internet, I must provide a negative opinion to balance out my positive one. I will say that the character model physics (like Mayday’s braids, DK West’s vest thing, Neon J’s fluffy neck thing, etc) got kinda funky at times. Especially DK West’s vest, which was completely messed up for every scene he was in... Also, even though the voices are mostly great, some lines felt a bit off. Just a bit. That good enough? Good.

But yeah anyway that’s another favorite game to add to the pile. Eventually I’m gonna have to compile a true list of my all-time favorite games/movies because I do kind of want to have a solid idea of what my all-time favorites are.

[duggardata]

Highlights From Alyssa + John’s YouTube Q&A

Today (April 23, 2021), Alyssa + John did a Q&A on their YouTube Channel.  It’s really long...  Like 30 Minutes.  I watched it all, because I have a servant’s heart and live to serve.  Here are the highlights, in chronological order—

Which Birth Was The Easiest—Allie, Lexi, Zoey, or Maci?

Bafflingly, John takes the lead in answering, saying:  “I’m going to say Allie’s.”  Alyssa laughs and sort of gives him a look and says:  “No.  Zoey’s.”  She says Zoey’s was the “shortest and easiest.”  John then asks about Maci’s, to which Alyssa responds:  “I had an epidural with [Maci], so the end part of [that birth] was the best.”

Will You Continue Having Children Until You Have A Boy?

John and Alyssa both react by saying how often they get asked this, and how tiresome the question is.  John says it is “the dumbest question.”  They agree that, no, they’re absolutely not going to keep ‘trying for a boy.’  John correctly points out that the whole concept would be unfair to their girls, saying:  “How would our girls feel [about that]?  [If we were like:]  Oh, you’re a girl.  We don’t like you as much.  We really wanted a boy.”  He says they definitely don’t feel that way, saying:  “We love our girls. ...  So, the answer is no.  If we got a boy, great.  If not great.”  Alyssa agrees with him.  John then says, “Wouldn’t it be cool to have, like, six girls?”  Alyssa says:  “That would be pretty cool.”

Do You Think Maci is Your Last Baby, or Not Sure?

After saying how often she’s asked this, Alyssa says:  “We’re pretty sure yes, [she’s our last], but we want to wait before we make a permanent or final decision.”  She pauses, then adds:  “We’ll get back to you in two years.”

John has the last word, saying:  “You never know what could happen.”

Describe Each of Your Daughters in 3 Words.

John kicks things off, saying Maci is cute, cuddly, and ‘a grunter.’  He explains that Maci “grunts about everything.  When she’s eating, when she’s sleeping... She’s always grunting.”

Moving on, Alyssa says that Zoey is “playful and loving.”  John agrees.  (“She loves to snuggle.”)  Alyssa then starts talking about Lexi, but John’s like, “you have one word left for Zoey.”  So, Alyssa goes back, and says that Zoey is an ‘entertainer.’  “She entertaining.  She loves to entertain people.”

Alyssa then launches into how ‘entertainer’ also describes Lexi.  She explains: “Lexi loves to make people laugh.”  Alyssa then says:  “Lexi is our wild child,” and actually uses the word “crazy” to describe her.  John jumps in, and says: “But in a good way.  She’s so comical.”

Finally, they get to Allie.  Alyssa says Allie is “very obedient and very diligent.”  John adds that she’s “organized and diligent.”

Do You Breastfeed?

Always the comedian, John says:  “No, I don’t.  I’m a bottle only type of guy.”

Alyssa says:  “Yes, but I’ve had a lot of complications trying to breastfeed, so I’ve never ... been able to for a long period of time.”  (She adds that 3 Months was the longest she has been able to nurse.)  She shares that Maci is already done with nursing, saying:  “With Maci, I got mastitis and it dried me up.  So, yeah.  I’m not breastfeeding [anymore].”

How Did You Decide Which Girls Would Share A Room?

(ICYMI—Allie and Maci are sharing a room in the Websters’ New House.  A lot of Fundie Snarkers are taking this as a red flag that Allie is on the Sister Mom track.  Honestly, Alyssa’s answer only confirms this, which is so sad...)

Alyssa says:  “Lexi and Zoey are really close in age and ... are, like, best pals.”  She adds:  “They just love being together.”  Then, she states:  “And, with Allie being older and a little bit more, like, responsible and mature, she is going to share a room with Maci because it seemed like [Allie] would be the most help with her [Maci] as a baby.”  Then, Alyssa somehow manages to make what she’s saying even worse by revealing that, eventually, she’s planning for Allie and Lexi to share, and Zoey and Maci to share.  (So, it’s really not about Lexi and Zoey being best pals.)  “As they get older, Lexi and Allie will share a room and Zoey and Maci will, but for the time being, I put the oldest with the youngest just because it made a little bit more sense.”  

(Seriously, what the fuck, Alyssa?)

When is Katie Getting Married?  Will Katie Move to NJ?

Alyssa stated that Katie + Travis have picked a date, but didn’t reveal it.  (“We won’t share it until she does.”)  She says that Katie is planning to move to NJ, after the wedding.

Did Y’all Kiss Before Marriage?

This was apparently the most–asked question.  Alyssa says:  “Yes.  We kissed before we got married.  A lot, actually.”  They told their parents about it, so “it wasn’t like some big secret.”

I’ve included a full list of all the questions after the jump, in case anyone wants to watch the video to get a specific answer.  They’re in chronological order.

Most / Least Favorite Part About Being On TV?

Advice for First–Time Moms?

Which Birth Was The Easiest?

Will You Keep Having Kids Until You Have A Boy?

How Do You Juggle Homeschooling w/ 4 Children?

What’s The Best Age Gap Between Kids?

Do You Think Maci is Your Last Baby, or Not Sure? 

Is John A Hands–On Dad?

Describe Each of Your Daughters in 3 Words.

Are You Overwhelmed Having 4 Children Age 6 And Under?

How is Zoey Adjusting to No Longer Being The Baby?

Why Did You Buy A House and Remodel w/ A Newborn?

Will Your Children’s Courtship Rules Be Like Yours Were?

How Long Did It Take to Remodel Your House?

Do You Breastfeed?

Alyssa Used To Have A Mole On Her Cheek.  Where Did It Go?

Do You Have A Nanny?

How Did You Decide Which Girls Would Share A Room?

Do Your Girls Have Friends Despite Being Homeschooled?

Do You Feel Compelled To Have A Big Family Like Your Parents?

Does John Help w/ Nightime Feedings?

Do You Like Country Music?

What Marriage Advice Would You Give A Young Couple?

Tips On Keeping A Clean House w/ Little Kids.

Do You Sleep Train Your Daughters?

How’re You Adjusting from 3 Kids to 4?

When is Katie Getting Married?  Will Katie Move to NJ?

What’s A Common Misconception People Have About You?

What Name Would You Use For A Baby Boy?

How Much Weight Did You Gain w/ Each Pregnancy?

How Tall Are You?  How Much Do You Weigh?

Alyssa, Which Sister Are You Closest With?

What Were Some of Your Biggest Struggles As Newlyweds?

What The Best Gift You’ve Received from Each Other?

If You Could Live Anywhere, Where Would You Live?

Do Y’All Live The Furthest Away from Kelly + Gil’s House?

How Long Do You Plan to Stay in Your New Home?

What Position Does John Play in Softball?

How Much Sleep Do You Get Each Night?

How Are You Going to Furnish Your New House?

Do You Guys Ever Argue?

Before You Met, Did Either of You Court Anyone Else?

What’s The Most Annoying Thing People Assume About You?

Did Either of You Ever Consider Breaking Up Before Marriage?

Which One of You Spends More Money?

What’s Your Dream Vacation?

Why Doesn’t John’s Family Appear on Bringing Up Bates?

Did Y’all Kiss Before Marriage?

[yellowocaballero]

The Crocodile's Dilemma: In Which Helen exploits Michael's Labor, Michael suffers an un-identity crisis, and unpaid internships should be illegal

It’s tough being a teenage embodiment of the Spiral. Your boss/wine aunt figure Helen’s a Tory, your inattentive cousin figure Mike Crew keeps attending philosophy classes and day drinking, and you’re pretty sure that this internship doesn’t have any dental. At least it’s good job experience for your future career in...being evil? But do you even want to be evil?

This small story is technically part of my Roleswap AU, but I specifically wrote it so that no knowledge is required. Still, if you’re wondering why Michael’s an eighteen(ish) year old, Mike Crew’s an Avatar of the Spiral, and everybody is obsessed with Melanie King, check it out. Still, no need. Rest under the cut.

Maybe Helen was right.

Not that Helen was ever strictly right, much as Helen was never wrong, but Michael just had to be doing this whole fear demon thing incorrectly. If someone had explained the whole fear demon thing to them two years ago (“Okay, so it’s like you’re the semi-sentient appendage of an extradimensional force of evil that has to consume trauma relentlessly in order to propagate its own debatable existence, also you’re nonbinary now, no those things are not strictly related, probably”), then they would have called them crazy. Which, of course, they were, but that wasn’t the point. So long as the point existed. So long as anything -

An essential theorem within quantum physics was the quantum Zeno effect. 

Simply put, it was the fact that a quantum state would decay if left alone, but does not decay under continuous observation. Even observing the results after the photon is produced leads to collapsing the wave function and loading a back-history as shown by delayed choice quantum eraser. If something was seen, it no longer existed; if something persisted unperceived, it would exist as long as it liked. 

So it was explained to Michael by the physics professor he was torturing that day. Michael had trapped the man in the physics building of his university, lured in by one too many late nights in his office and the persistent sense that his life was going nowhere meaningful. After a few classes spent sitting in on his Physics 101 class, maintaining constant and forever eye contact, Michael had eventually tricked the man into giving a persistent and ongoing physics lecture to an empty classroom, desperately trying to explain the inexplicable to a college freshman who did not care. Truly miserable, yet ultimately harmless - Michael’s favorite kind of trick. 

But, despite themself, Michael grew interested. They didn’t understand any of what the man was talking about, but that was all of the fun. Understanding ruined the magic of things; broke down the beauty of the universe into cogs and gears. No thanks. They could tell that it bothered the professor, that he said so much and yet knew nothing. That there was so much he would never know, and that he wasn’t so smart after all. How would any of his colleagues respect him?

“So photons degrade if they’re observed?” Michael asked one day, after...some period of time. They had raised their hand and everything, they were so proud of themself. Uni was just like secondary school after all. “Is that true of people too?”

The professor had sweated, deeply uncomfortable with Michael as a person and as a non-euclidean concept. “No - no, not at all. Humans are much more than photons -”

Michael grinned. It wasn’t quite right. “Are you sure?”

The professor sweated harder. “I - no, I’m not. But humans are constantly observed by - by the universe, or something.”

Michael grinned sharper. “Are you sure? Are you being observed right now? Are you sure?”

And the professor was not sure, not anymore, and the fragment of this man’s reality collapsed. 

Well, Michael thought to themself, slipping out of an improbable yellow door, that’s another Statement for the Magnus Institute. Not that they would read it. 

****

“Now, remember this - the first step to being a successful Avatar is presentation!”

Michael squinted at Helen dubiously. “I thought we were fear demons?”

Helen sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose with two sharp knife fingers. It looked as if it hurt quite a bit, but Michael reasoned that they had probably gone through the fifth dimension. “This is the stupidest dimension - fine, fine! Fear demons, then. It is absolutely vital that we conduct our business with style, grace, and the slightest sprinkling of pizazz!” 

Just for the flourish, Helen twirled her fingers, and a faint shower of confetti came raining down from the ceiling. Michael sneezed. 

“I thought it was vital that we harvest fear and trauma from people to propagate our cursed existence,” Michael said. 

Helen’s eyebrow twitched. “More than two things can be vital, Michael. Please pay attention. Now, as a demonstration, I’d like you to take a gander at that man over there.”

Obediently, Michael looked across the bar. They were sitting on barstools in a high-class pub, because Helen knew her worth and never settled for anything less, with glass counters and lots of private booths. But all pubs had their sad men drinking alone, and this one was no exception. 

This man wasn’t sullen and slow like a lot of them. He was wearing a nice suit and thin tie, looking straight out of Canary Wharf. Michael silently agreed with Helen’s choice - they took eat the rich very seriously, and also literally. He also seemed a little jumped up on something, with shaking hands and erratic eyes. 

“He looks happy,” Michael observed. “Think it’s his birthday?”

“He’s on cocaine, Michael,” Helen said flatly. “Cocaine. We are at a posh bar, and he is currently doing a line off his watch.”

Oh! Michael suddenly felt very uncool. They had never been one of those people in secondary school who did cocaine. They hadn’t been cool. “I knew that,” Michael bluffed. “What are we going to do to him?”

“Take the teenager as your intern, they said,” Helen groused, “it’s investing in the future, they said, it’ll stop them from eating you when they grow up, they said.” She sighed, jabbing a finger at the now very obviously coked up man who was staring at the bottles behind the bartender as if they were whispering secrets of the universe into his ear. Helen liked that one. “Use your intuition. Find a good angle to squeeze. What are his weaknesses to exploit?”

Oh, Michael knew how to do this. They shifted vibrations just a bit, dropping out of what Michael liked to call the ‘mild’ spectrum into the ‘spicy’ spectrum. They were distantly aware of a patron’s glass shattering. 

They squinted at the man, picking out his little fears and insecurities like Dionysus picking grapes. Maybe. Michael had gotten a C in English, but they were somewhat cognizant of the Spiral munching heavily on Bacchanalia. Sometimes they felt like some of those children who spoke in tongues and claimed to be from a past life. That had also been the Spiral.

“He owns a Nintendo NES,” Michael said confidently, absolutely sure that this was important. Helen groaned. “His house is painted white, and his girlfriend does tax fraud.”

“Something relevant?” Helen hinted desperately.

Michael just squinted at her. “Relevant to what?”

“...good point. But something useful, please.”

Picky. Michael scowled, but gave the man another good gander. “He only remembers faint details of his father’s face, and he worries that his recollections aren’t accurate,” Michael proclaimed finally. 

Helen clapped, delighted, as Michael took a careful sip of their water, turning it into fizzy water. She took a sip of her own wine, turning it into champagne. Or maybe just sparkling unreality? “Wonderful. Now, how should we play this? Insert a false father into his life, completely separate from his recollections, or is that a bit too Stranger? I suppose we could do some good old-fashioned gaslighting, but sometimes that’s just a bit too Melanie, if you catch my drift -”

“Are you jealous that the Archive girls are better at gaslighting than you are?” 

“Shut it, kid,” Helen hissed, before taking a long drag of her champagne. “My vote is that we convince him to top off his coke bender with some LSD. Then he hallucinates - oh, he hallucinates that he’s in a mental institution, that’s a good one -”

“Why don’t we shift everything thirty cm to the right?” Michael asked brightly.

Helen squinted at them. They beamed back. 

“You are so bad at this,” Helen said. 

Michael would have felt crushed if Helen didn’t express this sentiment roughly once per lunar cycle, contrariwise. As it was, they bore the criticism with a stiff upper lip. Helen had her way of harvesting fear from unsuspecting humans, and Michael had theirs. “Look, Helen, you’re being uncreative! We don’t have to traumatize people every single time.”

Helen squinted further. “We’re personifications of deceit. We eat trauma.”

“No, we eat confusion,” Michael pointed out patiently. “Look at it this way. If you give someone one really terrible experience, then they repress it for the rest of their lives and consider it a brush with Hell. One and done, see? But if you minorly inconvenience them for a really long time, then they’ll never be able to break out of it. They’ll feel as if something’s wrong, but they’ll never know it. You can keep the game going for years that way!”

The idea was very good. Michael had been working on it for a while. Truth be told, Michael felt bad traumatizing people outright and making them scream and cry and everything. They always felt as if they were doing something wrong by making other people’s existences a living nightmare. Michael much preferred rigging a corn maze so you were stuck in it for days inside the maze but only an hour outside. It was funner, and much more confusing. 

But Helen just pursed her lips and stared Michael up and down, making them squirm awkwardly on their barstool. Finally, as if she was delivering a life sentence, she imperiously said, “Well, we all have our different styles, I suppose! It would be quite boring if we were both exactly the same.” Michael nodded vigorously at this, and Helen held up a scaly claw. “But! You’re my intern, which means that you’re learning from the master here. So shut up and let me teach you how to ruin lives.”

“Yes, boss,” Michael said miserably. 

Helen tsked, but she patted them on the head anyway. It tasted like batteries. “Honestly, kid. A literal bleeding heart’s fun for the whole family, but a metaphorical bleeding heart will get you nowhere in life. You can’t exist as you are and feel bad for them. It ruins the point. It’s a paradox.”

“I thought we liked paradoxes, though?”

Helen shrugged, downing the rest of her wine. “Rules for thee but not for me, honey. But I’m a good boss and drunken aunt figure, so I’ll appease you today. Now come on, let’s convince this bar to vote for Brexit.”

They did. It was quite fun after all, tricking a roomful of people into doing something actively against their own interests. But something about the whole thing left a strange taste in Michael’s mouth: not the good kind of strange, or the bad kind of strange that was also good. Just strange, and undeniable, and something that couldn’t be exploited at all. 

****

Maybe Helen was right. 

Not that Helen was ever strictly right, much as Helen was never wrong, but Michael just had to be doing this whole fear demon thing incorrectly. If someone had explained the whole fear demon thing to them two years ago (“Okay, so it’s like you’re the semi-sentient appendage of an extradimensional force of evil that has to consume trauma relentlessly in order to propagate its own debatable existence, also you’re nonbinary now, no those things are not strictly related, probably”), then they would have called them crazy. Which, of course, they were, but that wasn’t the point. So long as the point existed. So long as anything -

Michael was a bad fear demon of the Spiral and Infinite Twisting and That Is Not What It Is and The Twisted Door, etc, etc, All Fear Its Name, etc etc all Hail, because they didn’t always like how their internal monologue could no longer be described through common language. Words and images and understandings were nothing but approximations for Michael now, and sometimes it was frustrating existing outside the boundaries of understanding. Which, of course, was the point, so long as the point existed, so long as anything existed -

It wasn’t always easy. Still, nobody ever got what they wanted if they weren’t willing to put the effort in. The adult world and labouring under capitalism wasn’t easy for anybody. That was what Mum had always said. Who was Michael to complain about their 9-5? Or 24/24? Or infinite/infinite? Or nothing/nothing? Or -

Was it too much to ask to have a linear thought once in a while? 

Helen wouldn’t understand. There were only two other approximations of concepts that Michael knew, and Helen would hardly be any help. The other “person” would probably be a better sounding board, but there was the fact that he was kind of pretentious. Still, it was better than nothing. Well, it was nothing, but only in the sense that everything was - argh!

A yellow door appeared in a nondescript basement, and Michael appeared with it. They melted out of the “wood”, taking a second to check their outfit for this apparition - a nice vintage 50s dress with a painstaking stitch that reminded one of the oppressive nature of housewifery, nice. They elongated their curly blonde hair from a roguish mop into a nice little shag and melted into the crowd. 

It must have been a passing period, because Michael was buffeted to and fro by tall white men wearing backpacks and shorter white girls hoisting strangely identical water bottles. Somewhere Northern, Michael decided, likely private and small. Not that it strictly mattered, but it helped to solidify their grip in reality a bit if they had some idea. They already knew geography was purposeless and a distraction from the real issues, like shrimp, but occasionally it could be useful. Helen had been careful to impart the central tenet of existence as a non-euclidean concept in undefinable space in the twenty seventh dimension: location, location, location!

It was obviously the Philosophy Department, because all philosophy classes were held in old basements built in the ‘60s in identical hallways. For kicks, Michael turned all of the school hallways inwards and sent them in a mobius strip, and changed all of the door numbers into a headache. The key to enjoying your job was to take initiative in the workplace environment and to just have fun with it!

Michael found themselves in front of a door identical to all of the others, with fake laminated wood, and they decided to go in. The universe had guided them to this door for a reason, and who were they to reject its call? 

The small classroom was like most other small, private colleges in unpopular departments that nobody cared about. Lots of single person desks - Michael snapped their fingers and turned them all into left-handed desks - complete with a smartboard and a teacher’s podium. It was already half-full, so Michael carefully slid into a chair in the back and pretended that they had been there all along. A student wandered close, convinced that this was her seat, but Michael successfully convinced her that a different seat near the front was hers, prompting an impromptu game of musical chairs that sent ripples through the otherwise sedate classroom.

There was a blond student already sitting in the front, flipping through a spiral notebook and clicking a pen in no particular pattern. He was wearing a pea coat, jeans, and his hair was weirdly perfect. Michael wished they had a notebook. Was this what you did in university? They had never had the opportunity to go. 

Actually, they had never quite graduated secondary - three months away from graduation, actually. It probably wasn’t all that important. You didn’t really need a diploma to become a trauma eating fear demon. Was there a university of eating fear? That would be funny. What would the classes be in, ‘Enforcing the Powerlessness of Capitalism 101’? What was the difference between that and a Business major? 

Maybe Business majors were the real fear demons, Michael thought grandly. It was a good thought, they would have to remember to tell it to Melanie later. Melanie would approve. Hadn’t Tim been a business major? Yeah, in that case she would definitely approve. 

The student sitting in the front seemed to have finally noticed the game of musical chairs, and as the professor started clearing their throat and announcing something unimportant to the class, he turned around to find Michael sitting in the back of the class. They waved cheerfully. The student scowled. 

‘What are you doing here!’, the guy mouthed angrily. 

‘Hi Mike!’ Michael mouthed back. 

‘Go away!’ Mike mouthed back. 

‘But I’m going to eat your teacher :(‘ Michael mouthed back. They didn’t actually frown. 

‘ >:(!’, Mike Crew mouthed back, also without changing his facial expression. 

This was probably why Mike wasn’t Michael’s biggest fan. Which was a pity, because Michael thought Mike was really cool. He had the coolest name, for one. But shorter, and snappier. Mike was the kind of name girls would call you at clubs. Michael was what, like, your Mum would say as she yelled at you to clean up your room before her book club girls came over. Why were they girls? They were, like, fifty.

Mike Crew was an Avatar of the Spiral completely unwillingly. Chosen as a child and chased throughout his life by an improbably long lasting Lichtenberg scar, he had eventually succumbed to the inevitable and transformed into an even more improbable man. Personally, Michael found it strange that ‘inevitable’ and ‘Spiral’ was in the same sentence, but - well, it had to be everything at one point. Even a melting clock was right once an endless twilight. 

Strangest of all, Mike Crew was a philosophy major. The class, of course, was a high level philosophy course. Mike Crew had been in uni - well, a while - and he tended not to waste his time with the boring shit anymore. Michael listened with interest as the professor dived into the lecture. 

Two minutes in, Mike subtly gathered his things and slipped into the conveniently empty chair next to Michael. He was still glaring at them, as Michael tried their best to look innocent and cute. The effect was a little ruined by the inherent maliciousness of Michael’s pores, but they liked to think it was the thought that counted. 

“To continue our conversation on the topic of paradoxes,” the professor began, “I’d like to introduce a few thought experiments for your consideration as a class. I’ll mention the concept, and then allow you to break into pairs to discuss them.”

Mike leaned into Michael’s ear. “We were discussing Descartes!”

“But isn’t this more interesting?” Michael asked. 

“If you give my professor a mental breakdown we’re going to fall behind on the syllabus!”

“The first paradox I’d like to bring to your attention is the Crocodile’s Dilemma.” The professor flipped to a new slide, which helpfully had a big crocodile on it. Michael admired it. They had seen a crocodile at the zoo once. “Similar to the liar’s paradox, the premise states that a crocodile, who has stolen a child, promises the parent that his or her child will be returned if and only if he or she correctly predicts what the crocodile will do next. The outcome is fairly obvious if the parent states that the crocodile will return the child, but the crocodile faces a dilemma if the parent states that the crocodile will not return the child. No matter the outcome, the crocodile is made a liar: if  the crocodile decides to not give back the child then the statement proves to be true, and he ought to return the child, thereby making it false. Whatever the outcome, he still violates his terms.”

Michael raised their hand. Mike forcibly lowered their hand. 

“If I give your professor a mental breakdown then you’ll have extra time for the test,” Michael whispered back. Mike seriously considered this notion.

“The next paradox is slightly related,” the professor continued. “The Infinite Hotel Paradox.” Michael’s face stretched into a grin as Mike Crew groaned. “It is demonstrated that a fully occupied hotel with infinitely many rooms may still accommodate additional guests, even infinitely many of them, and this process may be repeated infinitely often. This is what we call a veridical paradox: it leads to a counter-intuitive result that is provably true. Therefore -”

“Okay, yeah,” Mike Crew said, slumping in his seat. “You can eat him, this guy is just begging for it.” 

“Yay!” Michael went in for the hug, before Mike pushed them away. Michael’s quest for a cool big brother failed yet again. “Do you want to call the -”

“They’re your hallways,” Mike said, persnickety as always. Maybe he was just jealous that he wasn’t a hallway? 

Michael raised their hand, patiently waiting for the professor to call on them. He stumbled in the middle of his lecture, adjusting his thick glasses. 

“Uh, yes, Miss -”

“You no longer understand gender,” Michael said pleasantly, as they always did whenever they were misgendered. It was an understandable mistake, so they didn’t do it maliciously. Frankly, they just thought it was healthy. Everyone should not understand false things. “Professor, I have a question about the Crocodile’s Dilemma.” They waited for the professor to nod, somewhat confused. “How do you know that didn’t really happen?”

The professor blinked lethargically at them. “It’s a thought experiment. It’s not real, it’s just an idea proposed by philosophers to represent -”

“What makes you so sure?” Michael asked cheerfully. “Crocodiles eat babies. Or dingoes. I think I read a story about this happening in Australia, didn’t you?”

“I - I suppose I did, yes -”

“We wouldn’t talk about it if it didn’t really happen.” Michael felt their voice fall into a rising lilt, like an attractive song that was played to a concert hall but heard only by you. They were distantly aware of Mike lulling the rest of the students into their own hazy daze: aware enough to be confused, but trapped in their seats and the fog of misunderstandings. “Fiction isn’t real. Reality is real. But a thought experiment is in between, isn’t it? Something that strains the boundaries of reality, that proves the fundamental concepts of life, told through a framework of an intrinsic lie. A paradox is a lie telling the truth. You are a truth speaker telling only lies. What you know isn’t so much as anything at all, is it? What do you really know, anyway?”

“One of us tells only the truth and the other tells only lies,” Mike Crew called out, bored. But his eyes were shining in endless refraction, infinite rooms holding infinite guests. “But is it really a lie if you had mistaken it for the truth? What lies are you living, Dr. Young?”

Dr. Young was stammering, eyes swimming, and Michael didn’t dare to break eye contact. It was a delicate spell they wove, but Michael wasn’t so bad at bringing this simmer to a boil. Cooking was about improvisation, and Michael had always been great at that. 

“If your life is a lie,” Michael breathed, “then are you really alive?”

It was clear, when it happened: the professor started inhaling deep, deeper breaths, chest wracking with heaves. His eyes rolled up in his head, he clutched at his chest, and he finally slumped down on the floor. He twitched, jerking slightly, and he would continue jerking. At which point the students would become aware, and they’d call an ambulance for him, and he would be perfectly alright in the end. If a little mentally scarred. 

“Damn,” Mike Crew said, almost impressed, as both he and Michael stood up. He shoved his pens in a backpack, glad to be free of his examination for another week. “What’d you do to him?”

“Made him think he was dead,” Michael said serenely. “He thought his heart had stopped beating so he had a panic attack. He’s going to have to make an appointment with a psychiatrist but he probably should anyway, work’s very stressful for him.”

“Guess I have the rest of the hour off,” Mike sighed, as he held the door open for Michael so they could slip out of the back of the classroom. It was yellow, and a little strange.  “Want to grab a pint with me at the campus pub?” He paused a beat. “Wait, are you even old enough to drink?”

“I’m as old as eternity and reborn every second.” Michael paused a beat. “But I was eighteen last time I checked, and I’ll probably be eighteen for a while, so yes?”

“Great, let’s roll. I need a drink.”

****

Mike’s uni’s pub (Michael had asked the name of the uni but the information had, unfortunately, been lost in next Tuesday, so they’ll know then) was the exact opposite of the high class pub Helen had taken them to. Instead of glassy, shiny, and chromey, Mike’s pub looked strongly as if very many people had puked in it and the staff had tackled the problem somewhat half-heartedly. Michael enjoyed the sight of the puke existing in all points in time simultaneously, giving it a sort of weird yellow-ish shine. Actually, maybe all puke had that yellowish sheen?

When they asked Mike about it as they hopped up on the bar, he just sighed. He flagged the bartender down for a pint, and when the bartender squinted dubiously at Michael they revelled into the micro-confusion of ambiguous ages. Micro-feeding? Like mini muffins?

“Helen made a mistake hiring you. She’s stuck us with a perpetual teenager.”

“I’m as much a teenager as you are a uni student,” Michael said pointedly. 

“I’m not an embodiment of the It Is What It Isn’t Is,” Mike said, oddly aggressively. “I’m just a normal Avatar.”

“Fear demon.”

“Melanie King isn’t always right and I don’t know why everyone thinks she is.” Big words from an honored Special Guest on her show. There were many in the fear demon community who would kill for the honor. It was a good thing she hated intruders in her Archives - otherwise they’d never leave. “But I’m no different from - that douche Peter Lukas or that stoner Elias Bouchard or that btich Annabelle, okay? I’m just a guy. Who eats trauma. Plenty of guys do that.”

“Very good denial of reality!” Michael approved. “Normally Helen tells me to go further into denying reality as a concept, though.”

“God, you hallway people are impossible to have a normal conversation with.” Mike huffed, clearly not as irritated as his words would imply. Michael also approved of the incongruity. “I’m assuming that you’re here for absolutely no reason and that you have no idea why or how you ended up at my uni.”

Michael shifted uncomfortably. “Actually, I am here for a reason.” At Mike’s extreme surprise, they hurriedly clarified, “Not with any goal, meaning, or intention in mind! But I just wanted to talk about something to someone who wasn’t technically another facet of my meaningless whole. Helen and I are as index and ring fingers on the same hand, but we don’t really get each other sometimes, you know?”

“Does that make you the pinky finger?”

“I actually had a hypothetical for you.” At Mike’s nod, Michael snagged a napkin from the stack on the sticky bar and began creasing it, somewhat anxiously. “Let’s say, hypothetically, you were a teenagerish nongendered sentient hallway intern who happens to eat trauma.”

“This isn’t much of a hypothetical,” Mike said flatly. 

“I’m a hypothetical person. And I’m only a person hypothetically.” Michael started making little folds in the napkin, twisting it up into a strange origami. “So, let’s say, hypothetically, that this person - their name is Michael - enjoyed being them. It wasn’t always fun, and sometimes they kind of missed the world making sense, or at least not making sense in a familiar way. And sometimes Michael got tired of being a sentient hallway and wanted to finish secondary. And maybe even sometimes Michael grows sad that both their parents were eaten by their new boss, who is kind of a Tory! But that’s all fine. Michael’s probably happier like this than they ever were even when they did have parents.”

Mike Crew stared at them a little, slowly sipping his pint. 

Michael hunched their shoulders, and folded up the napkin further and further. They had read somewhere that any piece of paper can only be folded seven times. They folded the napkin seven times, then eight, then nine, then ten. That was something nice about the way things were now, they supposed: no rules, absolute freedom. Only rules, no freedom. That was what Dr. Yung would call a paradox. “But maybe the worst part about this new job is that Michael doesn’t really like hurting people. Sometimes it’s fun to randomly make people very upset, and you always kind of end up doing it anyway, but after a while Michael feels kind of bad about it. Michael likes doing other things better, like making terrible roundabouts and rearranging the pages of books. Maybe they even like reading books. They like reading comic books backwards, from the last page to the first, so every panel is a surprise.”

“There’s lots of ways to be a fear demon,” Mike pointed out, almost gently. Maybe only because he could relate. “Look at me. I’m not feeding off anyone. Just myself.”

“But I like the way I do it,” Michael said, frustrated. “Helen keeps trying to get me to do it the way she does it, but the point is that we aren’t the same. What’s the point in having two of us if both our viewpoints are the same? We’re different in every way, but we’re the same being. I just want to be the Spiral the way I want. Not the way Helen wants.” Their voice lowered, almost unwilling to say what they were about to say. “Not the way the Spiral wants.”

Mike stared at them for a long time, slowly sipping his beer, and Michael focused their efforts on forcing this improbable napkin into something that could be beautiful. A lotus flower? A mobius strip? Or should they just let it happen as it happens, and see what form it decided to take? 

Finally, Mike said, “You are the Spiral.”

“Then why am I always disagreeing with it?” Michael asked miserably. 

“Why are you, Helen, and the Spiral always disagreeing?” Mike pointed out. “Maybe that’s the point. So much as anything’s a point. Isn’t it the most perfect paradox of all, to split yourself into portions that are always disagreeing and bickering? Maybe everything you’re feeling is on purpose. I mean, it’s kind of improbable that you’re feeling at all, right?”

“I retained a lot of humanity,” Michael said. “Maybe a bit too much, actually?”

“Right.” Mike nodded decisively. “Then that’s the appeal. A human mind will always strain against its confines. It will always want different, want the same, want the old and the new and the perpetual and the fleeting and the eternity and the moment. What’s more nonsensical than a human? What’s more contradictory than human nature?” A dark shadow passed over his face, just for a second. “The Spiral kidnaps us and turns us into it. One part of our minds is entrenched in its eternity, and another part is always screaming in agony. But predominantly we are the unholy mixture of human and Entity, oil forced into water. It’s so intrinsically horrifying and wrong that we just get used to it. We are both demon and human, and so we’re neither, and so we’re both. Isn’t it weird, Michael, that unlike so many other Avatars, none of us want to be here?”

“You’re a very philosophical person,” Michael said diplomatically. 

“Thanks, I think too much about my lot in life.” Mike Crew sighed, slumping on his barstool and knocking back more of his pint. “I wish you and Helen would stop showing up in my life so often. When you aren’t around, I can almost pretend I’m a person.”

“That’s why we show up,” Michael felt obligated to point out. 

“Yeah, I know,” Mike said glumly. “I always know. I can’t stop knowing.”

There was nothing Michael could say or do that fixed this, or that could make Mike feel better. They understood, just a little - that nostalgia for a kinder time. But maybe it was more that Mike never had those halcyon, innocent days. He had lived life since childhood in aching knowledge that his days were numbered. Maybe that’s why Mike was allowed to live life as a human even now: his human life was just as confusing and isolated as his afterlife, and that when fear stained every second of his life there was no point in ceasing it. 

Maybe Michael couldn’t keep their human life because they had been happy. At the very least, they had been ignorant. That was one thing the Spiral could not abide: ignorance. 

These days, Michael knew everything. They knew everything so, so much.

So, in lieu of comforting falsehoods, Michael offered Mike Crew a slightest sliver of truth. They passed Mike the little piece of origami that they had made, and let Mike cradle it in his large and smooth hands. 

The origami had no shape. It wasn’t folded into anything. It was just a meaningless amalgamation of points, corners, and creased paper. It didn’t look like anything at all. 

“See?” Michael pointed out. “It’s a bear.”

Mike Crew smiled weakly. “Looks like a sea goat to me.”

There was something beautiful in ambiguity. When something was nothing, it could be everything at once. That was rather Michael’s favorite thing about it. 

“I think it’s a self-portrait,” Michael decided. 

And that, at least, was as true as anything else. 

***

Michael wandered their hallways. 

On some level, they were pretty much perpetually doing that. Even as one facet of them talked with Michael in a campus pub, even as another helped Helen convince a high class pub into voting Brexit, even as they traumatized a physics professor, they wandered these hallways.

Make no mistake: everything in this story has/will/is happened/happening simultaneously.

Of course, on another level Michael was literally their hallways, and thus they were not so much wandering as existing. Pulsating, one could say. Even twisting, if one would be so bold. 

There was a mirror, in the hallway. Not a funhouse mirror - although Michael did enjoy popping out from those and scaring Nikola - but just a mirror. Gilded around the edges, ornate with swirling curlicues. You could see yourself in it. You could see a lot of yourself in it. It wasn’t what you had always looked like, not really, but you just had the sense that this was what you really looked like. Maybe you had always looked like this, and everybody was just too polite to tell you. Were you really a brunette? This mirror had to be right. You had been a blonde all along. Nobody had told you. They were laughing at you. They were laughing -

But this was Michael, and Michael’s, and nothing in here could harm them. It was even comforting. They looked at themselves in the mirror, and saw themselves same as ever. Or not same as ever. They were still Michael, so far as Michael was Michael.

Shortish. Blondey. Raggedy hair. Curled as much as anything’s curled. Fun clothing that they really enjoyed. Tall shoes, because they liked feeling tall. Similar dimensions to the golden number. Non linear, but who’s counting? It was what they typically looked like. 

But, just for a second, Michael even fooled themselves. They saw someone in the mirror that they were not, someone who they had never been, someone who they never will be. Someone different.

Michael, just like everyone else, couldn’t stop themselves from reaching out. Come back. Come back! Let me touch you, let me be you! Michael’s fingers brushed the shiny glass, and the world tilted sideways, and Michael fell into where the sidewalk ended.

They emerged, or maybe they had always been, inside a bedroom. It was a nice little suburban bedroom. It had a peaked ceiling and a window seat. The walls were a soft, navy blue. There was a young person, lying on the shag carpet, leafing through a book. Big headphones were over their ears, and they were bopping along to music. Disco. 

Michael stood, an intruder into a familiar space, and watched the stranger. Their throat felt oddly tight, and their eyes felt strangely hot. The stranger was smiling faintly, flipping the pages of their book somewhat mindlessly. They were reading it for school. Flatland. It was just an assignment, but it was really fucking them up. It was making them think about all of these things that they didn’t normally, in new dimensions. It was really cool. All of their friends were just reading the Sparknotes, but they really wanted to talk about it with someone. 

 This, of course, had happened. It will happen in the future. It was happening now, as Michael watched the scene with an electric sadness. It would never happen, because the Spiral had never been here, and never would be, and always was. 

A knock echoed on the door, several sharp raps. Michael didn’t notice, legs swinging to the music. 

The knock on the door hit louder. “Michael!” A voice echoed from behind it. “Michael, are you ready to go?”

Michael reached up and slid off their headphones, without looking up from their book. “Coming!” They called back. “Be right there!”

The Spiral watched Michael, who hummed absentmindedly as the door knocked again. Dad was downstairs, making sure the gas was off and shutting off the lights. Mum was knocking, knocking, knocking, on a door that was and will always be wood. 

“Have you packed yet?” Mum called. 

“Sure I have!” Michael yelled back, glancing at the empty suitcase on the bed and the messy pile of clothes right next to it. They pushed themselves up, flipping the book shut and rising to their feet. “Be right out!”

“Hurry up,” Mum called, as the Spiral mouthed the words along with her. “We’re going to be late!”

The Bermudas aren’t going anywhere, Michael thought spitefully. They stuffed their clothes haphazardly in a suitcase, took far more care to pack their laptop and DS, and shoved Flatland in a side pocket of their backpack. 

When Michael slung on his backpack, unfolded the handle from their suitcase, they were not even looking at the door they left through. They were entirely focused on managing the unruly suitcase, and walked straight through the crazed yellow door.

Of course, Michael walked out. Slightly stranger, a little better, a lot worse. Exactly the same. They were back in their hallways again, fresh from their little suburban bedroom and the child exiting one world and entering one quite different. Maybe one part of that child would always be in that bedroom, another part in these hallways, and another part always caught in that doorway and the transition. 

Simultaneously, in all points in time, Mum knocked on that wood door, and Michael never let her inside. Simultaneously, at all points in time, Michael watched it all happen.

They hadn’t expected it to be so comforting. At all moments in time, in a little corner of their heart, Mum knocked on their door. If the Spiral lived in your soul and beat your heart, it was easy to find the beauty in it - the magnificence of eternity, and the joy in the moment. Mum was with them - literally, as he was pretty sure Helen was still digesting her. Maybe nothing was ever truly over - just over there.  

Michael stuck their hands in their pockets, whistling a jaunty tune that highly resembled the Shepherd’s Tone. Their hallways pulsated comfortingly, and Michael carefully toed off their platform shoes and eyed down the infinite hallways. No rugs for a while. 

Maybe Michael, Mike Crew, and Helen should get together more often. Just the three of them. They would drive each other batty. It would be a lot of fun. 

Michael set off running down the hallway, and skidded on their socks down the hardwood floor, whooping in joy as they skidded endlessly towards eternity. 

[yuzukult]

effortlessly pt. 9 || jungkook & reader

title: effortlessly pairing: jungkook x reader words: 5.0k genre: fluff, romance, school!au, smut some chapters notes: this is more of a self-realization chapter, less of the romance :) oc development & one more chapter left before an epilogue!!!! thank you all for your support and patience, i know i took a while with this one, mostly because i really wanted to take a break and write something else. :)

series: part one || part two || part three || part four || part five || part six || part seven || part eight || part nine || part ten || epilogue 

Yura’s cheeks are stuffed with the pastries from the bakery that was recommended by one of Jungkook’s teammates, something you’ve been meaning to take her to lately but with your mind flooded with thoughts on your future, there hasn’t been much time to dedicate to her. 

“Why do you keep looking at me like that?” She’s eyeing you quizzically, uncomfortable with your distraught gaze. “You seem like you have something to say, so spit it.”

“I’m sorry,” You blurt with an agonizing frown. “I’ve been a terrible friend.”

“Why do you say that?”

Pushing the plate of baked goods away from you, your body slouches in the seat. The aroma of the flakey croissant beside the in-house made strawberry jam wasn’t appealing anymore and your previous conceptions stole away your appetite. “You didn’t tell me you wanted to be a cook.”

She rolls her eyes with a soft smile, shoving the plate back toward you. “Eat, loser.”

“Oh, come on. Stop acting like you’re not mad at me. I had no idea you were even going through anything—”

“Idiot, I’m not going through anything. I’m also not trying to be a cook. I’m trying to be a chef.” She corrects you, tearing off a piece of the croissant and bringing it to your lips. “Now take a bite of this, it’s crazy good.”

Abiding by her instruction, you open your mouth for her to feed you, chewing the soft pastry as it melts effortlessly on your tongue. “Good, right?” You nod in agreement. “I can’t help but think that I could’ve been there for you when you needed me the most. You were going through something, you were just as lost as I am.”

“Well, don’t feel bad. I kind of knew for a while, but I wasn’t sure. Sometimes we have to go through things alone to learn more about ourselves. Then Jungkook asked if I could help him with your little date, so I offered to do a picnic basket. It was for practice, and he seemed to be okay with it. How was the omelette?”

“Amazing. Which is why I was upset that I wasn’t a good enough friend to know that you cook so well.”

“Oh, please. Stop exaggerating... but really though. Was it that good?” Her eyes lit up at the compliment, emitting a chuckle from you. “It was, Yura. I’m seriously so proud of you. I wish I knew about your talents sooner.” 

Yura’s kind and patient, the qualities in a friend that everyone searches for. She has developed into a person who you found yourself depending on, someone who you wanted to stay around to share both good and bad times. Knowing that you weren’t there when she potentially needed you only made you disappointed in yourself. It was your turn to return the actions she provided for you; it was your turn to be a good friend.

She’s rolling her eyes again, a smile appearing upon her lips. “I told you, this is nothing. I’m still learning things about myself, so don’t worry, you didn’t miss out on anything.” You don’t believe her, but you take her words nonetheless, because you promise yourself and to her that from this day on, you’d try harder to be a better friend to her.

Walking out the café, a backpack slung over your shoulder, you glance at Yura who zips up her hoodie, snuggling in closer to the fabric to regain warmth as the night approaches along with the cool wind that blows in your direction. “Are you going to take the apprenticeship?” 

“How’d you even hear about that?” You’re surprised she knows this; there hadn’t been much exchange between the two of you since the last time you hung out. Yura scoffs, shaking her head as she fixes the straps of her backpack, strolling down the street beside you. “I’m your best friend, of course I know about it.”

“Jungkook? Hoseok? Which one was it that spilled?”

“Jungkook,” She confirms, a playfully innocent grin glued to her face. “But that’s besides the point. You got an offer of a lifetime, what does that mean for you?”  There's not much of a reaction from you, other than a slight shrug that you give her. It seemed great— getting an apprenticeship for a position that isn't for just anyone, but for you specifically. This was an endeavor that you never imagined yourself encountering. Goals and aspirations were a list to some people, especially Jungkook, but for you, that list hadn't been anything more than a title. So what did it mean to you, this opportunity that presented itself? "I don't know," You respond honestly, uncertain of what next steps to take. "I kind of am going through a dilemma." Yura raises a brow questioningly at you. "What is it?" You chew your bottom lip for a moment, trying to gather all your thoughts in a place before taking a deep breath of courage before exposing yourself to your friend. "Is it weird that I've been with Jungkook all my life, and now my so-called aspiration is on the same route of his?"

"Nobody is calling it that." "But if he's on the path of being a professional— what does it mean for me? Am I just a follower? Oh, Jungkook wants to be a professional swimmer, and now his girlfriend wants to do the same thing. How stupid does that sound?"

She shakes her head in disagreement, walking side by side with you along on the sidewalk, the sun slowly beginning to set whilst the wind makes its appearance again, sending chills down your spine. “Why does everything have to be about Jungkook? Why can’t it be about you for once? When you think of swimming, you think of Jungkook immediately, but why can’t you consider it being something you’re interested in?”

“Because Yura, I don’t know!” You exclaim, stopping in your tracks. It was hard, dreadfully hard making a decision that you weren’t sure of. You’re only in your teens, you think to yourself, at such a young age with the responsibility of making choices that may determine where your route is headed for the rest of your life. In all honesty, you want to cry; force yourself to shed all the tears even if you have to because the amount of pressure sitting on top of your shoulders was wearing you down.

You’re immensely grateful for the opportunity that just happened to land at your feet, but with a chance to do something big, you can’t help but feel that guilt eating you inside, wondering if this was truly what you wanted to do, and what if it wasn’t? Did it mean you took away the possibility of an experience from someone who yearned for it more than you did?

Yura ceases her steps, eyes meeting yours that were pools of pity. “It’s okay to not know. But you’re running out of time and have to pick what you want to do soon.”

“But Jungkook really wants me to do it.”

“Why do you care about what Jungkook thinks?”

Because Jungkook is the only person in my life whose opinions that I actually care about, is what you want to say to her, but it goes against all of the rules you’ve given yourself. You want to be independent, you want to be selfish in these moments that allowed you to, but at the end of the day, pleasing other people was a flaw you had never been able to grow out of.

“I don’t,” You lie, fiddling with the straps of your bag in between your nimble fingers. “I don’t care about what he thinks.”

She’s flabbergasted. “You absolutely do care. You care about what he thinks, and you’re afraid of disappointing him.” Yura says your name lovingly, in a tone that brings chills down your spine because she’s serious this time, a rarity in its form. “Please stop caring about what others think of you and make this decision on your own. There’s a chance that Jungkook won’t be with you at the end of this road, and you have to be prepared for it.”

“But it’s so freaking hard, Yura,” You finally admit, bending down to sit at the curb on the street. “I spent almost my entire life with Jungkook. My parents never approved of anything and weren’t ever happy with anything I did; he’s the one person who has supported anything I did and all I worry about is if he’s going to turn away like they did.”

“Did you just forget my existence again?” Yura interjects, sitting down beside you, giving you a slight nudge. “Listen, whether or not Jungkook decides to be by your side for this entire thing, I’m still here, right? It’s true, I can’t swoon you nor can I give you kisses because well, no offense, you’re not exactly my type—“ you snort, “—but I can be the friend portion here. You got me, you don’t need some boy you love, you have a friend.”

How crazy is it that you’re living in a fanfic trope? Your best friend from childhood is your neighbor, your first kiss, first time, first kiss... the list goes on.

So when you’re walking in the direction of where he stands in the parking lot of your high school, Jungkook’s car parked alongside his other teammates, while he leans against the hood of his car with the guys crowding around him. He looks like every other main character of a romantic film; hair slicked back, changed out of his uniform and swim clothes, now in a t-shirt that’s tight around his frame paired with light washed denim pants with tears and rips that hugs his thighs so deliciously. The laugh that escapes his lips is melodic, melting your heart seeing how happy he looks just by being with his friends.

You’re going to miss the hell out of this if he’s disappointed in your decision.

Approaching the group, the guys holler at the sight of you. “Hey! You’re finally here! Jungkook refuses to leave without you, so we’ve been waiting around until you came.”

“Were you?” You ask, eyes meeting your boyfriend. “Are you waiting for something in particular?”

Jungkook glances at the guys before back at you nervously, palms getting sweaty. “Uh... how do you feel about coming with us tonight?”

“Where to?”

Hoseok snorts from behind, almost bursting into laughter at how anxious Jungkook is around you. It’s cute, really, because despite officially together, he still acts as though he’s pining over his crush on you. “Oh, come on, it’s not hard to ask, just ask her!” Jimin adds into the push by actually pushing him.

Jungkook stumbles closer to you, slightly breathless. “So... there’s this party tonight...”

You giggle— mostly because he seems as smitten with you as you are with him. “Jeon, are you trying to ask me to be your date to a party or something? Why are you jittery?”

He is. And he can’t help but feel like his heart quickens whenever he sees you in a skirt and your hair down, first few buttons of your uniform unfastened and blazer hanging off your arm. Even in makeup that’s been on for 8 hours straight, he thinks you’re pretty. “Yeah,” his response is airy, “I’m hoping we could set aside a sleepover and head over to Hoseok’s place tonight to blow off some steam. How’s that sound?” Chuckling at his lack of confidence in the question, you nod in agreement. “Okay, that sounds great. When are we heading out?”

Getting ready for the party proves to be one of the most nerve-wreaking things you’ve done in a while, including that apprenticeship offer. 

“Why why why are these jeans so tight?”

“This dress shows my belly rolls.”

You’re patting the fabric that’s wrinkled around your stomach region as you sigh when you see the sideview of your body in the mirror. “I should workout. Does Jungkook find this attractive?”

“And this skirt is too short. It shows my freaking underwear.” Bending over in the mirror to see yourself from behind, you grumble at the sight.

“Wait— turn over here, I want to see.”

“Holy—“ Flinching in the direction of the voice, you place a hand on your chest to ease your breathing; Jungkook sitting at his window sill, hair let loose, fresh from a wash, still dressed in his sweats. “You look cute in that. Twirl for me. Oh, and bend over too.”

You roll your eyes. “I’m not going to bend over for you, Jeon.” He frowns. “Why not? I want to see what color your panties are.” Just when you’re ready to drop the blinds on him, he has his hand out. “Wait wait wait, don’t close it. Wear those jeans you wore the other day. And that black t-shirt. I think you look pretty even in casual clothes.”

While searching in your closet for said outfit, he stays seated by the window, resting his chin on his arm. “So... can we talk about break?”

“Uh, sure,” You respond, only half paying attention as you’re shuffling through the tremendous amount of clothes you have, the space between your brows crinkling in focus. “What about it?”

“So... the team and I had these plans to go on a lake trip...”

“Okay...?”

“And it’s an all guys trip.” He finishes, finally getting to the point. “I know we talked about the possibility of spending break together—“

“You should go, Bub.” You interrupt, eyes soon lighting up when you find the shirt, then meeting with his gaze. “I think it’ll be good for you. We’re not going to be in high school forever and you guys might separate when you get to college.” 

Jungkook thinks he hit the jackpot with you. From your understanding nature, to your independence, support... all the qualities you had were stacked up on the pros pile for him. “You’ll be okay? Without me?”

He asks this question and it stings a bit. You know he doesn’t mean it in that way but you can’t help but think about it in that direction. There had been a lot of dependency on Jungkook throughout your friendship; hardship, accomplishments, direction of your dreams— he’d be there for all, guiding you and lifting you up. But did he think that you wouldn’t be able to be without him? 

“I’ll be fine,” You reply, attempting to hide the disappointment in your voice. Head peeking out the window, you grin mischievously. “Well, I’m going to get ready now... so...” Quickly backing away, you shut the blinds immediately, and Jungkook groans. “I wanted to see a show!”

Arriving at the party with Jungkook by your side is more than an accessory— he’s the main point of an outfit. You learn that he wanted you to wear that t-shirt just because he wanted to match with you, knowing that you’d oppose it but would be too lazy to even change afterwards.

“You guys came!” Hoseok cries, weaving his way through the crowd of people while having to raise his voice for you to hear. He has a solo cup in hand, liquid sloshing around as people push and shove around him. “Go to the kitchen! Grab a drink!”

To two of you do, eventually Jungkook being pulled away by friends, chatting up a storm with his face slowly growing crimson from his asian flush. Deciding that it was a night to enjoy yourself, you play around with the ingredients from his fridge, cooking yourself up a mojito.

“Are you making a mojito? Can I join and make myself one too?”

“Sure,” You grin, looking up at the stranger. “Help yourself.”

This girl is absolutely gorgeous. Hair jet black and straight, stretching to her lower back with skin milky smooth and makeup done effortlessly naturally, with a body so slim and appealing in her body-con dress, a sight for sore eyes, you’re suddenly boiling inside because you’re wishing it was you. You learn her name is Somin, a University student who attended your high school last year, friends with the swim team but you never met her before.

“So, what brings you here?” She asks, searching through the drawers for a knife. “You don’t seem like the type to go to parties.”

Rinsing a couple limes under the faucet beside her, you nod. “Yeah, I’m not. Got dragged here so I guess I’m left with no choice. What about you? Trying to get away tonight?”

She laughs, so feminine and light. “Actually, trying to get closer. There’s a guy I’ve had my eyes on for the longest time. His mom and mine used to be friends so I saw me occasionally. I mentioned that I was in love with him and he freaked and left. But! I heard from Hoseok that he was coming tonight, so I’m hoping I get to see him.”

“Ah,” You respond, mouth open while taking the knife from her hands, slicing the lime into pieces. “Well, I wish you luck. I know how that feels.”

“Wait!” She exclaims, nudging you as you wince, startled and almost cutting yourself by her sudden action. “He’s coming!” Looking from the cutting board laying on the island counter, your eyes trail up to see the familiar figure walking toward the two of you as Somin waves eagerly. “Jungkook!”

She’s in love with Jungkook? When the hell did she know him?

“Oh, Somin!” He greets, smile so wide from the amount of alcohol in him. “I didn’t know you were here. I see you’ve met my girlfriend.” Well, how awkward. Somin turns to look at you, mouth agape, shunned. “Girlfriend?”

“Yeah!” He’s almost yelling in your ear now, rounding the counter to pull you close with a hand on your waist. “The love of my life. Isn’t she so cute?” Your lips tug into a painful smile, apologetic toward Somin. How is it that every female you encounter just so happens to be so in love with Jeon Jungkook?

You can’t even blame them, in all honestly. He’s handsome, generous, has a car and can drive, a freaking athlete, and he can sing. This guy was the entire package and he hasn’t even graduated high school yet. Forget high school girls chasing after him, Jungkook already had college girls swooning and it’s left you wondering what it’d be like once the two of you head to University.

That night home, you drive. Deciding to spend the night taking care of him since he seemed totally wasted, you’re on route to his house while pondering deeply about the events of the night.

“What’s going on in your head, bubba?” Despite the amount of slurs that slip from his mouth that night, he’s oddly stable.

“Bubba?” You laugh at the new nickname. “Uh, just some stuff.”

“Be honest?” He asks, looking over at you with glassy eyes as his head is laid back against the seat. “I wanna hear what you’re thinking about. I like hearing you talk.”

Licking your lips, you’re having an inner debate on whether or not to let Jungkook in on your thoughts. Succumbing to his request, you sigh because communication is important in a relationship. On the bright side, he might forget about this conversation tomorrow anyways.

“The girl earlier tonight? Somin? She told me she was in love with you.”

“Huh?” He seems just as surprised at this new information. “That’s crazy. We used to hang out during Sundays when my mom would force me to go to church. Then I got old enough to decide if I wanted to go or not.”

You hum, stopping the car at the red light. “Well, it had me thinking. We’re going off to college soon. What does that mean for us? You’d have girls dropping at your feet, completely smitten with you. What if I end up at another college?”

“We’ll figure it out then. But I know how much I’m in love with you, whatever you do and wherever you go. I’ll be sad if I can’t follow you or you follow me to college, but that doesn’t change how I feel about you.” Although he’s slow when he speaks, he finishes off what’s on his own mind before drifting off into slumber before you could even chime in a response.

A drunken man's words are a sober man's thoughts.

It takes a lot of soul searching.

You’ve spent a week away from everyone— Yura, your family, everyone, even Jungkook. He thinks he did something wrong but you assure him that he hasn’t, rather that you needed some time for yourself. Coincidentally enough, that week was break; Jungkook and his teammates had a vacation planned and Yura picked up a part-time job at a bakery anyway.

Maybe it’s the breeze from the salty sea, the humidity sticking to your skin or the taste of the strawberry ice cream that hits your tongue, but the air feels lighter here. Inhaling in the fresh aroma the beach brings, it brings you back to when you came here last time with Jungkook and he professes his love. It brings a smile that tugs on the edges of your lips, a memory that you would never forget, your first love reciprocating his feelings for you. 

“Oh, did you drop this?” 

Quickly turning, you realize that what was in the hands of the person in front of you is your wallet—how irresponsible do you have to be that you dropped your wallet and didn’t even notice? “Oh my gosh, fuck, it’s my wallet!” You call out, grabbing it from their grasp before meeting eyes with them. “Thank you, I wouldn’t know what I would’ve done if I didn’t find it!”

The person waves you off, a grin drawn across the face of a male, cheeks so supple and milky smooth. “Think nothing of it. Be careful though, there’s a lot of pickpocketers around here.”

You nod in agreement, lips pressed in a straight line, slightly disappointed in yourself. It’s like he reads your mind because he then says, “It’s okay though. It happens to the best of us.”

“Can I at least get you something for not robbing me? And my fate being that you so happen to not be a pickpocketer?”

The guy laughs; something about the warmness he radiates makes you trust him, fraternizing with this stranger with qualities of a sweet friend. Something about Junmyeon makes you fearless, trusting him enough to propose the idea of treating him out to anything for being a good samaritan. 

You learn that his name was Junmyeon, and he’s way older than you in comparison, but he has a lot of words of wisdom to share. After a lot of convincing, Junmyeon takes your offer for a cup of coffee—iced please, he begs, and in exchange, he in addition, tells you about his life like a middle-aged man.

He’s only 29.

“You’ve got a couple years ahead of me,” You begin, and it only sparks Junmyeon to raise a brow at you questioningly. “I’m stuck in a dilemma. How did you know what you wanted to do in life?”

Junmyeon chortles, mostly because he finds it interesting that you seem to think he has his shit together. The both of you had decided to take your cool drinks out on one of the benches on the boardwalk that faces the water. “You realize that I’m just twenty-nine right, not ninety-two?” You blink in confusion at his light-hearted joke, watching the sunset behind him. He continues on, “It means that I’m not that old, kiddo. I’m a bit older than you. And despite what you think, I don’t have my shit together.”

“Well, what did you do?”

“Well,” He starts, imitating your own words against you, “for one, I graduated college at the age of twenty-three. With a degree I didn’t end up using, by the way, and decided that the best thing for me at the time was to follow this girl that I was head over heels with. That being said, it didn’t end very well. Fast forward to today, I’m back in school trying to get my PhD... in a completely different field than what you’d expect.” Reminiscing back to his past mistakes, he shakes his head in disbelief. “There are just things you should be selfish about, and it took me a while to finally get that.”

“How did you decide on those things? And how do I decide what I want to do?”

“Well, for one, if you’re really hesitant about it, you probably don’t want it.”

And that’s when it hits. 

A day at the beach alone, meeting a stranger who finds your wallet and gifts you words of advice was more of a helpful trip than expected.

“You... got really tan?”

“You can be honest. I know I’m more red than tan.” You stifle a laugh, watching from his bed as Jungkook enters his room with his bags, waddling around to unpack his belongings from his trip. He’s in so much pain, and not to mention crimson red like he’s Santa’s suit, mostly from forgetting to put on sunscreen despite the many exchanged texts reminding him to remember to put on SPF. Turns out the entire team was burnt as well.

Browsing through a magazine that you found on his bedside table, you smile at the sight of your boyfriend wincing while sitting on the carpeted floor, attempting to unzip his duffle bag. “I didn’t know you were still shy seeing me. You’re all red and blushy.” You joke, leaning over to tap his nose, only for him to groan in agony. “Baby, I love seeing you, but I’m resenting asking you to come over.”

You gasp in feign surprise with a hand on your chest in exaggeration. “Jeon Jungkook, you couldn’t possibly mean that, could you?”

He throws a dirty t-shirt at you in hopes it lands on your face, and lucky for him, it shoots his target.. “Bullseye,” He says, content with his shot. “I worked out in that, just so you know.” Grimacing and tossing it back at him, he lets out a chuckle at your disgust. “That was horrible. It reeks.”

“Speaking of horrible, I couldn’t believe we didn’t spend the break together. I know it sucked without me. How was your week away?”

You roll your eyes, opening a drawer to drop the magazine back into it. “You’re the one who made plans, lover boy, with your group of other boys. But it was great, I think I learned a lot of things about myself.”

“That’s a step in the right direction. What’d you do in that time?”

Where to even start? Do you tell him about Junmyeon? What about the weather down the shore—humid and sticky, just how Jungkook likes it— or maybe that funnel cake you got to try that was so sweet and melted on the tip of your tongue? Or would that defeat the purpose and he’d be sad he missed out on that?

“I met someone,” is the words you manage to formulate out of your mouth, and the expression on his face is distorted in shock. “Oh— wait, not like that, I just met someone at the beach and they became a friend.”

“Scare a guy to the point of breaking his heart, why don’t you?” He’s stopped to listen to you in the midst of packing, attention fully yours. “So, what about this friend?”

Leaning against the bed frame, you take a moment to let your mind sink into your thoughts. There’s a lot to unpack, more than what’s in Jungkook’s duffle bag that’s similar to a clown car, but you want to do this right. “He gave me some life advice. He’s a bit older and gave me some guidance that could help me on what next steps I should be taking.”

“Does that mean you’re ready to make a decision?”

You chew on your bottom lip. In the end, you know that whatever you choose is solely based on your happiness but you can’t help but worry about what Jungkook thinks. “I think I am. What do you think I should do?” Maybe you should test the waters first.

He wrinkles his brows in perplexity. “What do you mean?”

You shrug at this question. “What do you think I should choose?”

Jungkook stops pulling things from his bag, eyes locking with yours and you feel your chest tighten at the serious shift in the atmosphere. “You’re not really asking me this, are you?” Now you’re the confused one. “What?”

“I don’t care what you choose. I mean, I care, but I don’t care as in I won’t be upset if you rather do one thing over the other. Is this what’s bothering you? Do you feel guilty about all of this? I told you, I’m always here for you, even when I’m trying to drill that into your head it seems like you don’t get it.”

“So...”

“So if you said that you didn’t want the apprenticeship, I wouldn’t be opposed to you going another route. Vice versa, same result. We’ve been together our entire lives, it would take a lot for me to actually upset with you. I just need you to be honest.”

Your heart swells. If anything, that’s all you really wanted— his support.

Sitting in the seat that you presumed that Jungkook had sat in when he’d gotten his offer, you feel slightly uneasy finding yourself in this situation. The room is filled with cases of books, most that you’ve never heard or seen before; the unfamiliarity churning a weird feeling in the pit of your stomach. There’s even a fireplace in this office, a portrait of what seems to be one of the founders of the university that hangs over it, and a fuzzy... bear rug that lays in front of it. 

The recruiter closes the door behind her, striding to her desk before settling down in her large swivel chair that only seems to make her look even more powerful than she was already. 

“So,” She begins, straightening the pile of papers on her desk. “You’re here to talk about the offer?”

[crusherthedoctor]

Out all the eggman boys he pilots for battle and what not like the egg dragoon or death egg robot, what are some of your favorites? And do you have any ideas you wish he would employ in the future?

It should be mentioned that, being the Eggman fanboy that I am, I love many of them, even the simplest or shittiest ones (ie: Egg Dealer), because the aesthetic of Eggman's style really appeals to me, and the way his machines can range from goofy to intimidating, or both simultaneously, can be seen as an extension of how versatile the doctor himself is.

Still, I do have my favourites. Most of them are the ones you'd expect, but here goes:

Well you gotta start with the classic, don't you? The first of Eggman's king-sized monuments to his own visage, and more than deserving of its iconic reputation.

This one's a fan favourite when it comes to his smaller scale Egg Mobile attachments, and it's easy to understand why. It's an undeniably brilliant design that doesn't have any obvious weaknesses for armchair intellectuals to point and go "Why does this video game boss have that? That's stupid, IQ of 300 my ass, I'm such a clever internet person, please give me all your praise".

The Death Egg Robot may be the one everyone knows, but the Great Eggman Robo is the one we all strive for. Both phases of the fight may be straightforward, but the scale of the behemoth cements the tense atmosphere, and it happens to be smack dab in the middle of arguably the greatest finale in a Sonic game, which is as wonderful as it is in part due to Eggman never, ever giving up.

A more unconventional choice here. There may not be much to these two fights in particular, but I just really like the general concept of Eggman taking ancient statues or other such structures, and weaponizing them. It's a nice spin on his usual motif of converting Mother Nature to his own preference, as well as defacing ancient histories and legacies for the sake of his own.

Both of Eggman's final mechs in SA1 are awesome. The Egg Viper is a really cool design and gave birth to a certain meme, and the Egg Walker marked the climax of one of Eggman's best moments and one of Tails' best moments.

Speaking of Egg Walkers, I like this one too. Yeah, it's no secret that I don't like how Eggman - the guy known for making all sorts of crazy crafts - is stuck in one tiny thing for a whole game's duration (even though I'm aware it's for gameplay's sake, but still), but on its own merits, the Walker itself is still cool in my book.

Putting them together because they're more or less the same mech. Nothing special here, I just think they're cool "modern" interpretations of the Death Egg Robot-style humanoid mech. And yes, I know Eggman technically didn't pilot the Egg Emperor in Heroes... but he did in Generations 3DS, so get it up yee.

Another one you knew was coming. Don't we all love the Egg Dragoon? So do Sonic Team, it seems. The Dragoon is one bad mothafucka, and the way Generations added to it by incoporating an Egg Viper tail and the Egg Wyvern's wings made it even more badass. Unleashed may not be one of my favourite games in the series, but I'm thankful that it gave me this winner right here.

These two don't really have much in common (aside from the colour blue), but I put them together because thanks for nothing, Tumblr image limits.

Anyway, I've always felt the Egg Wizard deserved more recognition. The design is interesting in itself and keeps to the nautical theming of Rush Adventure, but what REALLY makes it stand out is the way it uses the power of the Jeweled Scepter, and how we get to see some crazy magic that you don't often get from Eggman robots. Like giant dragon heads made of lava, for example. And the fight is plenty enjoyable too.

As for the Time Eater, it may not have gotten much if any story to its own nature, which is a shame, but at least we got a nice clockwork motif out of it, and the way it jitters gives the impression that it's trying desperately to fight back against Eggman's control, but can't. And speaking of, Eggman FINALLY controlling a monster successfully is worth celebrating... unless you forgot like Ian Flynn apparently did, since Worlds Collide claimed he lost control of it. Typical Flynnanigans, eh?

I'm absolutely in love with the idea of Eggman being crafty enough to store a second mech inside the first one in the event of the latter's defeat. It's the perfect way to cap off Eggman's consistent display of brilliance and foresight in Forces. The designs themselves are pretty sweet, with the first one taking cues from Alfred Molina Dr. Octopus, and the second one being an eerie mess of wires and tentacles, as if it were the "heart" of the first mech. And say what you want about the so-so execution of the fight itself, but the sound design that went into it is seriously overlooked.

Just a shame they're collectively known as just Death Egg Robot, seeing how they don't have anything in common with the actual Death Egg Robot. Neither of them are even fought aboard the Death Egg. They deserve a more unique name IMO, but ah well.

Other examples I really like but couldn't use images for because of Tumblr being Tumblr:

- The Final Zone/Egg Pistons from Sonic 1, cause even though it may be smaller scale than the Death Egg Robot, I like the unique scenario of the room itself being your opponent. The final bosses of Sonic 1 and 2 on Master System have a similar appeal.

- Brass Eggman from the 2013 Sonic 2, because weaponizing an organ of all things is perfect for a man of Eggman's pride and swagger.

- The Egg Totem from Advance 2. No special reason for this one, I just like the simple yet effective design.

- The Gachapandora from Mania, because it's a great way to pay tribute to some older Eggman contraptions, and it suits his manchild personality to a tee.

- The Phantom Egg from Mania (again), because even though it looks like a romper suit mixed with a Pokeball, I really dig the concept of Eggman using a suit of robo-armor to go mano a mano, which this boss comes close to doing, if not entirely.

- The Klepto Mobile from Mania (three time's the charm), because a literal rush job still being able to go toe-to-toe with Phantom King is both incredible and hilarious at the same time. Even Eggman's shittiest efforts are his best! Is there no limit to this man's brilliance???

- Metal Robotnik/Black Eggman/Brak Eggman/Bruh Eggman from the OVA and Sonic Robo Blast 2. I don't know what the doc was thinking when he decided to give a robot based on himself some dragon wings and a spiked mohawk, but I'm glad he went through with it. The final fight with Metal Sonic may be the one everyone talks about (understandably so, it's an awesome scene), but the battle with Bruh Eggman is great too.

- The Eggpod from the movie. As far as translating the doctor's style into live action goes, it's a worthy first attempt, and it's understandable that they didn't go for something bigger since they probably want to save that for the sequel, so as to organically raise the stakes (wink wink, nudge nudge). It also reminds me of the Egg Hornet from SA1. I don't know if that was intentional, but it's something I appreciate all the same.

[apprenticebard]

Hi! I saw in your reply to the dnd and math post that you DM for your roommate's 4-year-old - do you have any tips/can you tell me about what it's like to run a campaign for someone that age? I'd LOVE to do it for my niece (she's also 4, almost 5), but I wasnt sure if it would be too complicated

Sure! Okay, so number one, our four-year-old is Very Advanced. She reads at about a second grade level, and she does a lot of mental math, although she can't write yet. Flippancy about how easy the math is aside, probably not every four-year-old can handle the full unsimplified ruleset for most kinds of D&D. However, we've also been doing some D&D-esque tabletop gaming for her periodically since she was, like... two? Although at that point there weren't any dice, it was mostly freeform RP where we gave her a list of spells and let her react to a vaguely D&D-themed adventure. So it just kind of depends on where the kid is at. I think they tend to be more excited about real D&D if they've seen grownups do it, at which point they conclude that it's a Very Cool Adult Thing. But ultimately you just have to see what the kid is interested in this stage and provide that level of complexity. Some stuff about our current campaign: - It's good to have some other adults around to fill out the party, if you can swing it. That way they can do some handholding as necessary (for instance, our 4yo can do the math herself, but she can't necessarily remember what all of her spells do or when she gets an attack of opportunity), while the GM can focus on keeping GMing stuff rolling. It's also a good opportunity for the adults to try out extremely off-the-wall concepts, since the level of seriousness in the game is probably going to be... low. - She c a n n o t sit quietly through an entire round of combat to wait for her turn to come around again. At first, we tried to teach the skill to her, but eventually we determined that she's just not there yet. What we did is give her a ridiculous custom magic item we call the Headband Of Conservation Of Ninjutsu. It means that after every other person or NPC's turn, the four-year-old gets another turn. It makes her crazy powerful (which, hey, she loves), and makes it way less likely that she'll lose any fights (which, hey, do you really want her to lose fights at this stage), and it solves the attention problem while giving her lots of early practice with the mechanics. - Our four-year-old is super obsessed with combat. She'll handle social elements of plots in maybe five-minute bursts, but she really, really likes combat. I assume this is a quirk of this particular kid, but I think it's kind of a general fact that small children will tend to fixate on specific things and have, like, two minutes of patience for things that don't fit with whatever their favorite element of the game is. So you kind of have to be flexible. We let her be team leader and kind of just follow her around for whatever she decides the main plot is, even when she has very different ideas about what that is than we do. - Since the kid is four, you can use SO MANY cliches and have her be absolutely delighted with them. Riddle of the sphinx? Suddenly seems extremely clever again. Battle with a part-cow, part-man thing? She's never heard of a minotaur and loves it. That puzzle where one robot always tells the truth and the other always lies? Actually she didn't really try to solve that at all and instead just opened the door with the bear and killed the bear, but, you know, that works too.

I'd be delighted to hear how stuff goes for you, if you decide to try it!

[gardeninthevoid]

on gray asexuality

the gray ace community is so scattered that there's not really such a thing as 'gray ace culture', and i would argue that our experience and the general ace experience have almost as many differences as they do similarities. plus a lot of even well meaning people misunderstand gray asexuality and don't fully believe it's real.

also, it's ace awareness week! 💜☁️♠️ and i want some awareness! so i'm gonna do this myself i guess! even if i'm kinda scared to open up like that!

here are some gray asexual things. i arranged them into a numbered list. the numbers don't mean anything - it's just easier to digest that way, and if you want to reference something in a response, you can just put the number. if you're not gray asexual, i hope you learn something. if you're gray asexual but you don't relate, that's fine! we're all still different and we're both valid. but if you do relate, please tell me so i feel less crazy. and if you're questioning, maybe this'll be of help in figuring it out! (also keep in mind i'm alloromantic and that colors my experience)

wildly fluctuating between sex repulsed, sex favorable, and sex indifferent

some crushes, even super intense ones, are fully asexual. others aren't. some start out one way and end up another. you might have asexual crushes on aces and sexual crushes on allos. or you might not. everything is different all the time and it's weird.

saying you're ace without the gray part so people don't assume they have a chance with you because let's be real, they probably don't

not saying you're ace at all because you feel like you'd be lying or that it's tmi to bring it up (internalized aphobia hello)

when you do feel sexual attraction it absolutely destroys you because of the contrast with the total absense of it that you feel most of the time. you just never really get used to it. your brain crashes

liking highly stylized or dramatized sex scenes in movies or books but not getting the appeal of porn

as a matter of fact, the buildup/tension is usually more fun than the action

being uncomfortable with the concept of sex in general but much more cool with a few specific acts/kinks

trying to be horny but quickly getting super sidetracked (literally what i'm doing rn! i was in the middle of reading smut when i decided to write this post. now i don't think i'll come back to it)

you heard of asexuality pretty early on, but assumed it couldn't possibly apply to you and continued feeling broken and alienated

saying "they're hot" without really knowing what you mean

being romantically interested in someone and realizing you'd have sex with them while not being sexually attracted to them

being sexually attracted to someone and thinking about them in sexual ways but you can't imagine having sex with them

genuinely having no idea if you're sexually attracted to someone

being freaked out and uncomfy when other people are sexually attracted to you

when you talk about sex you talk about it as if it's something that doesn't at all concern you

you'd be comfy dating a sex repulsed ace person, even if you feel like you might miss out on something

on the other hand, you're scared to date allos because what if you can't keep up with them?

you don't actually know what or who you're into. there are some patterns, but mostly there's not enough info for a decent analysis. maybe you'll figure it out eventually. right now, when you get asked the question, you just gesture vaguely and hope they have the gift of telepathy

seriously you have no idea

it seems so fucking random

being more attracted to clothed people. esp people with a good sense of fashion

some of ya'll can really look at a still image of a naked person and say if you're attracted to them? b- but you haven't gaged the Vibe!

the sexual melds and becomes one with something else to the point where you can easily substitute it (an example for me is certain types of music)

if you did have sex you would probably do it in the dark, speaking in hushed tones, not just for insecurity reasons, though that might also be a factor. the real reason is, bright lights and loud noises might break your desire

it's so fragile, any wrong word or action or thought might break it. you're far easier to turn off than you are to turn on.

not feeling like you fully belong on either side

having the power of invisibility

it took you so long to get here

you really wish people would leave you alone and stop questioning you

to aphobes/exclusionists/anti micro labels: don't even fucking breathe on this post. i will engage in combat with you 🗡️

to my label siblings, happy ace week! remember: the gray stripe is ours.