#seriously such twitter energy on here sometimes. like people are WAITING for the chance to make a witty mean-spirited comeback

[stinkrascal]

yall gotta learn to just not answer asks that annoy you bc sometimes yall get so mean for absolutely no reason

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 315: I Didn’t Expect This to Blow Up

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi was all “guess which plot that you thought was dead is actually not dead and is making a comeback!” and we were all “EVIL HPSC??” and he was all “girl you know it,” and that’s the story of how we got a sexy Lady Nagant flashback with lots of guns and murder. Flashback!Lady was all “gotta murder peeps to preserve the people’s trust,” but then a little while later she was like “actually wait that makes no sense,” and so she shot her evil boss and they sent her to jail. Back in the present, Deku was all “okay fair, the hero system might in fact be a little fucked up, but hear me out... have you considered not helping AFO take over the world so he can murder like a bazillion more innocent people??” The chapter ended with the not-all-there Overhaul finally revealing himself to Deku, and I honestly have no idea where this is gonna go.

Today on BnHA: In what is unfortunately the single worst plan ever concocted by anyone in BnHA, Nagant is all “I’m going to try and get this Deku kid to panic and freeze up by putting someone in mortal danger.” Deku is all, “[doesn’t panic and freeze up at the sight of someone in mortal danger].” Nagant is all “omg no way.” Deku, who is now all of a sudden being so OP that even I have to acknowledge that it’s OP lol, is all “[smashes Nagant’s gun arm to bits]”, which sucks but is also really cool, and which also apparently makes Nagant decide that she actually likes this kid after all. Deku is all “NAGANT I REALLY LIKE YOU AND THINK YOU’RE GREAT SO PLEASE JOIN UP WITH ME AND STOP BEING EVIL.” Nagant is all “aw shucks (✿ •͈ᴗ•͈) well okay then” and everyone is all “( ･◡･) ✰ ( ˆᴗˆ ) ( ᵘ ᵕ ᵘ ⁎)” and then Nagant FUCKING EXPLODES LIKE AN EGG IN THE MICROWAVE AND FALLS TO HER DEATH!!!! except not really because Hawks saves her??? In conclusion, (a) THE FUCK, and (b) AFO TURN ON YOUR LOCATION I JUST WANT TO TALK.

so I have to tell you guys something, which is that barely ten minutes after I made that “please don’t send me spoilers” post the other day, someone replied to the comments in a stunning fit of “tell me that you’re twelve without actually telling me you’re twelve” energy and posted what seemed to be the copy-pasted spoiler summary from reddit or twitter or whatever lol. so here is my good news/bad news rundown of all that

good news: I have very well-conditioned ABORT!! reflexes and have trained myself to immediately look away from the screen (usually in dramatic fashion) as soon as I realize that whatever I’m reading is a spoiler

bad news: unfortunately as I was subsequently deleting said comments, I accidentally read the very last one

good news??: said spoiler was so unbelievably, absurdly over-the-top that I’m almost positive this person was just trolling. like, there’s just no way lmao

bad news: but in the unlikely event that it is true I will absolutely lose my shit I swear to god

(ETA: “NAGANT DIES.” that was the spoiler I read lol. like, literally all I read from the person’s comments was “My Hero Academia Chapter 315 Title: “Beautiful Words.” Chapter starts with...” and then I noped out of there, and then of all the comments to read as I was deleting, it had to be that one lol. I seriously was just like “SURE, JAN.” all “just how gullible do you think I am” sob. but I was wrong. a troll, but an honest troll they remain.

but anyways like I’m pretty sure Nagant isn’t even actually dead lol, so in the end this whole little adventure doesn’t even have a point to it, but for me it was a journey!)

anyway, so there are apparently two versions of the chapter today?? no idea what the difference is, but I’m going to go with the Bean version, because it’s the one at the top and I don’t feel like making decisions today

huh, so Overhaul is actually more coherent than Horikoshi was letting on

look at him having a whole back and forth conversation with her. side note, how is he still this jacked when he’s been sitting in a cell doing absolutely nothing for the past six months

anyway so he says he’ll go with her on one condition. I wonder what that condition could possibly be. do you think it could be the thing he literally hasn’t shut up about ever since he reappeared lol

yep! and damn -- maybe this guy will surprise me after all

still would be nice if you also felt a bit sorry for the little girl you tortured and traumatized, but this is something at least. maybe Deku will yell at him for that other stuff lol

(ETA: also can’t help but wonder if he wants to make amends because he put him in a coma, or because his plan was a failure and ended up destroying the family. just hoping you’ve finally had that “hurting other people is bad” epiphany dude.)

anyways so now Nagant’s arm is transforming again, and this particular transformation happens to be the only truly unsexy thing that Nagant has done thus far so I’m just gonna skip right on ahead lol

aaaaand we’re back to the delirious ranting

buddy. just. read the fucking room, guy

wow she really is aiming at Overhaul, then. those theories were spot-on

damn she’s really out here all “it really fucks with kids’ heads when you kill people right in front of them and make them blame themselves” like yo

I’m picturing her saying all this in a very loud stage-whispery tone while making very significant eye contact with Deku lol

uh oh but wait

um. okay. who’s gonna tell her. Nagant I might have some bad news for you about the kid you’re trying to capture here. specifically about the way he tends to do the opposite of what you’re thinking that he’s about to do

holy shit

so it’s basically just “tap x repeatedly to charge up your attack” lol

and okay, so that’s cool and all, but is anyone else wincing at the thought of what that must be like on his knees. oh to be young

anyway, but so to the surprise of basically no one, Deku did not, in fact, freeze. I am very sorry, Nagant. he’s just like this

LMAO

someone wanna tell me how getting yoloed in the fucking ribs by this fucking slingshot kid moving at literal sniper bullet speed is in any way even remotely better than getting hit by the bullet itself lol

(ETA: this is 10x funnier now that we know the bullet wasn’t even gonna hit him lmao.)

anyway so now Nagant is having an extended “!?!?!?” reaction about how Deku just moved with no hesitation, and I’m starting to get an inkling of fear that the rest of this fight isn’t going to go very well for her and maybe that’s what all the “hoo boy” is about

oh my god Deku are you about to Gomu Gomu no Rocket yourself at her you insane little man

now Three is popping up again and he’s all “I see you’ve learned your lesson and are now only using three quirks at once instead of five” like with all this effusive praise about how great and badass Deku is and sob, okay, yeah. this chapter is basically one of those machines that shoots tennis balls at people, except instead of tennis balls it shoots hot piping discourse

OH MY GOD

YOOOOOOOOOO but also, NOOOOOOOOOOO

lol oh my god it’s literally two opposing reactions at once wtf. do I love this or hate this. like just for once can Horikoshi actually let a badass lady character win their fucking fight without getting their arm ripped off, BUT ALSO fucking look at that absurdly cool “SMASH” onomatopoeia though. it looks like it’s about to float right off the page holy shit that’s some seriously good art

anyway so is this really the end?? do I need to break out my ಠ_ಠ faces

lmao okay yeah I can definitely see how this would piss a lot of people off

he basically one-shotted her and she’s all “damn this kid is so amazing that I’m about to do a complete 180 turn on all of my previous angst” lmao. Horikoshi is really shounening it up today

on the plus side though, maybe this means there’s still a chance for her to join up with him after all? unless that spoiler was true lmao, then all hell is gonna break loose

YESSSSSSS

OH MY GOD AND HE SAYS THE BULLET WOULDN’T HAVE DONE MORE THAN GRAZE OVERHAUL ANYWAY, wow, I’m actually more relieved by that than I would have expected. I mean I would have forgiven her either way, but it means that there was still more hero in her than she was letting on

YES!!! FUCKING YES, THANK YOU

lol but I mean, it’s also like, “oh so today they get to have brain cells”, thank you so much lol. sometimes it’s really hard to tell which times we’re supposed to question these character decisions that seem dumb, and which times we’re just supposed to full on embrace them and switch off our critical thinking

but okay, so in this case it really was Nagant going easy on him on purpose, and not just her fucking up for no good reason even though she used to do this for a living and was the best in the game. and I know in this case it’s probably just Horikoshi giving us some consolation headpats to soften the blow of her losing so abruptly, but you know what, shit. I’ll take it

also you guys the light is coming back into Deku’s eyes again for just a moment here and I’m having feels about it?? the way it still comes back when he’s reaching out to save someone, and following his own hero path instead of the much darker and lonelier Christopher Nolan path that’s been laid out for him instead that he never wanted?? it’s both reassuring and also very sad

YESSSSSSSSSSS

DO IT LADY OMG PLEASE?? PLEASE COME BE HIS NEW IRRESPONSIBLE ADULT SUPERVISION YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO

AHHHHHHH SHE’S GONNA DO IT AHHHH

p.s. I am now absolutely scared shitless that that spoiler was actually true sob. swear to god, I will throw this manga into a fucking volcano. but we’re almost at the end of the chapter and this seems just WAY TOO GOOD to be true fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck f

UCK

NOPE NAH SEND IT BACK, NOPE, NUH UH, DIDN’T ORDER THIS. “GULLIBLE” OKAY FUCK YOU?? “COUNTERMEASURES” NOPE, DON’T NEED ‘EM, WE’RE ALL FINE HERE. WE’RE ACTUALLY GOOD SO YOU CAN JUST GO, OKAY. PLEASE

fuck, lol, I don’t wanna do it. I don’t wanna scroll down what have I ever done to deserve this oh my god

WHAT THE HONEY-ROASTED FUCK

WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT FUCKING VOLCANO IN ICELAND THAT I KEEP SEEING ALL THESE PICTURES OF. WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT SHIT. LET’S GO

ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW

can someone please give AFO a really good, sharpish kick in the balls. just really let him have it. I’m so tired, what the fuck

-- ARE YOU KIDDING ME LOL WHAT

bro. I was literally going through my Excel folders to find the spreadsheet about female characters in BnHA that I made back when Midnight died. was gearing myself up for a wholeass rant. and honestly I might just let all of that continue simmering on low to keep it warm just in case lol, because to tell you the truth I have absolutely no idea what’s happening right now

my girl straight up does not have a face. she used to have a face. people usually need those, idk. like, even if she’s alive, her gorgeous eyebrows are definitely not making it out of this and I’m gonna throw a funeral just for them

how the fuck did AFO just blow her up?? how did he know what was going on?? and if he had a quirk that could explode people at will, why is this the first we’re hearing of it?? you’d think that might have come in handy at Kamino or Jakku, like what

(ETA: present!me, who’s had more than three hours of sleep and can now actually remember facts about the series, would like to remind past!me that AFO gave Nagant a quirk, and so this is probably just more Vestige shenanigans now on his part. that’s also probably why Air Walk suddenly stopped working out of nowhere. still doesn’t explain why he doesn’t go around blowing people up more often though but maybe he thinks it’s gauche.)

Hawks just straight up out of nowhere. just Mirioed his way straight into the chapter just in time to be too late sob. here I was looking forward to seeing your face when Deku showed up with his new best friend. can’t believe Horikoshi deprived us of that moment

on the plus side, WELCOME BACK, HAWKS’S FEATHERS. I have no doubt that in this chapter of Deku being an almighty threequirk-mastering god, and Nagant losing anticlimactically only to be immediately blown up because girl characters in BnHA can only be cool for one fight and one fight only, there are still some people who are focusing solely on the “how dare Hawks get his wings back when he is a MURDERER this is an outrage what about CONSEQUENCES” discourse, and to hell with all the other discourses lmao

anyway, so yeah. wow. and now it’s just occurring to me that maybe the real reason why Overhaul is there is so he can get a head start on that amend-making by actually doing a good thing for once in his life, and using his quirk to heal Nagant. assuming he can still do that

and so now Horikoshi has got me out here actually rooting for Overhaul. you know what, on that note I think I’m just gonna go ahead and call it a day sob

[vyeoh]

this is your chance: wax poetic about an Empires or DSMP character of your choice to a fan who is new to both. Explain why I should love them. I need guidance in this new and meme-populated land.

okok this is a lot of pressure haha. Spoilers for EmpiresSMP and DreamSMP below, obviously. I wrote a lot so prepare yourself, anon

I watch a lot of empires POVs but the ones I most anticipate every week are Scott and Sausage.

c!Scott (I'll call him Smajor for the sake of simplicity) starts off the series chilling, not really getting involved with the rest of the server, and staying aggressively neutral. After all, he's an elf. He has lived far longer than most of the other rulers already, and will most likely outlive them for many years. So, the best thing is to stick to his mountains and not get invested in the dealings of mortal affairs, maybe sometimes causing problems on purpose and dipping because what's life without a little spice right.

But then, this demon comes to the server, Xornoth. He's going around causing havoc and wants to send the world into an eternal winter, but he doesn't bother the kingdom of Rivendell much so Smajor stays tentatively cautious but ultimately unbothered. But then, the puzzle pieces start falling together. The first thing that the audience noticed was was Xornoth sounded like Smajor, but we mostly thought that this was just due to cc!Scott voicing both of them and there was nothing more to it. However, then, the people the demon starts possessing start chanting in elvish. The demon hates mortals, and the elves are conveniently one of the two confirmed not fully mortal races in Empires.

This culminates when Smajor stumbles across a cave that contains the backstory of the patron god of Rivendell, Aeor. Basically, there's two opposing forces, Aeor and Exor, and both have a champion. In a previous life, those champions were two brothers, where Aeor eventually prevailed and banished Exor. In this life though, the champions are - you guessed it - Smajor, and the demon Xornoth.

So now Smajor is like. Well fuck. It's my literal god-given destiny to be responsible for defeating this demon who is technically my brother, and if I fail the server gets plunged into an eternal winter. And I have no fucking clue what is happening because I've just been here on this mountain actively trying to stay out of the issues outside my kingdom. We watch him panic and teeter on the verge of spiraling for an entire episode, and when the followers of Xornoth go to the End to kill the dragon, releasing Xornoth's full powers, he fails to stop him. Smajor is a character who was used to being the smart one, the prepared one, the one who has the least deaths on the server. But he's also a character who runs away from his problems and ignores them. Before and during the dragon fight, we hear the desperation in his voice, as he's thrown into a situation he is wholly unprepared for, and it's bigger than him going to the Cod Empire to kill their king, or assisting in other people's plans to kill the codfather. He can't run from this. cc!Scott plays this scene so well as well, as I've said before, one of the best parts of Scott's acting is how he's never super dramatic, but he's so effective in the little things like inflection to make you feel, viscerally, the panic and dread.

So after the dragon fight, Smajor realizes, I can't do this on my own. I've tried and failed. So he gets allies. We watch him, someone who has so strongly been an isolationist, learn the benefits of allies and watch him learn to trust others and watch him learn how to get that trust in return.

My favorite thing about Smajor's characterization is that he's an incompetent protagonist, but not in the way of the "plucky young adventurer". He's capable skill-wise, and fairly jaded and very pessimistic. However, his issue is that up until recently, he did not care about the rest of the server at all, and by the time he learned to, it was way too late.

Also, in 3rd Life, cc!Scott and cc!Jimmy were canonically married and they reference it sometimes in Empires. Like, Scott goes over to the Cod Empire every so often both in and out of character to kill and/or flirt with Jimmy, the ruler of the Cod Empire, which may develop as a secondary plot into the future who knows. So ty Scott for giving the gays what they want o7

Now onto Sausage: his is a story of Icarus, his hubris and ambition being his downfall. He's one of the two followers of Xornoth, who promised him endless power in exchange for his servitude. He started the series being eccentric, but not outright unhinged, but slowly gets more and more extreme as the series progresses, as he gets brought more and more to Xornoth's side.

One of the best parts of Sausage's character, in my opinion, is how his gradual corruption affects the people around him. Initially, he got into a conflict with the Cod Empire and was allied with two other people in the Witherrose alliance. They were allies, but also close friends. The fandom liked to joke that the three had sibling energy, and I'm pretty sure the ccs played to that even more lol.

It was painful to watch the other two members, Gem and fWhip, watch Sausage get corrupted right in front of them, and see them desperately clinging on to this old idea of Sausage in their head because if they faced the truth, it would mean that their friend was gone. Eventually, they do finally cut him out of the alliance, leading him to fully commit to the side of the demon. Sausage felt very clearly betrayed by this, and declared the remaining two Witherrose alliance members to be enemies.

He gets more and more possessed, and we even see the other Empires, his enemies even, slowly realize that something is very wrong with the ruler of Mythland. He starts doing more and more evil things, like killing people more, making sacrifices to the demon, and eventually helping to kill the dragon to free Xornoth. So things are good for Sausage, for a bit. He won, and is more powerful than ever. Then he finds out: he's going to die. Xornoth's possession is slowly killing his soul, and eventually, his body going to be fully taken over and he himself is going to be trapped in the spirit realm. So how do you react to this? Over the next few episodes, we watch Sausage struggle between "the demon is literally killing me" and "the demon has given me so much, and I love it", all while Xornoth takes over more and more of him. We hear him exclaim that "don't worry!! I'm still about 15% there!" while trying to downplay every time Xornoth completely takes over his body. We watch him willingly oppose anyone who is trying to end the thing that is killing him.

My favorite thing about Sausage is that he is undoubtedly evil and proud of it, but he's also undoubtedly human. If you like to watch evil characters go absolutely feral, he's the guy for you. He makes the deal with Xornoth in the beginning, knowing and fully embracing the evilness of the demon, but at the same time he knows what he's doing is detrimental to both himself and everyone around him, but he's gotten in way too deep at this point, and to be fair the demon has held up its end fo the bargain, right?

Also, I would be damned if I don't talk about cc!Sausage's editing. Every one of his videos is like a movie. The way he does camera angles and uses music is so skillful- every lore scene feels like something out of a high fantasy action saga (think: LotR). Every big lore event I always wait in anticipation for Sausage's ep because his editing truly takes lore to another level.

I'm just generally very excited to see where this series goes. Empires is such a good mix of talented builders and good lore. Part of the reason why the series is so immersive for me, beyond any other lore smp, is that they have the settings to back it up. There is a certain charm to the DreamSMP's objectively terrible builds (with a few exceptions) but in Empires, the settings help sell the plot so much.

Another part of why I love EmpiresSMP is how much the ccs are involved with the fan community. I'm sure you've seen the memes about Scott being on tumblr, and Sausage regularly goes through the EmpiresSMP fanart tag on Twitter and likes art, even ones not related to Mythland. Most of the ccs, in fact, have brought up tumblr content on stream at some point or another. Like, several ccs have said that they read tumblr lore theories and hcs and stuff and sometimes take inspiration from them. Fun fact: Rivendell's church was inspired by my pinned drawing; confirmed by Scott Smajor himself. It's just such a good cycle of ccs and fans being excited about each other.

As for DreamSMP, I'm gonna be honest here, the only person I really am invested in in Technoblade. I started watching when he joined the server, and he's the only person whose lore I keep up to date with.

Techno's fun to watch because he's like the Deadpool of DreamSMP. Virtually unkillable, very skilled and scary, but consistently cracks jokes and breaks the 4th wall during plot. His POV is just fun. Like, he does wild plans and gives speeches and some of the stuff that happens to him should be called deus ex machine if it wasn't for the fact that Technoblade is the one who's doing it, and all the stuff is grounded in the fact that cc!Techno is just that good at the game.

However, the fact that he rarely takes anything seriously makes the few times Techno is 100% serious so much more impactful. His whole character has a basis in being perceived as inhuman and being treated as such, and therefore in return trying to hide his humanity. So, when he shows that humanity, whether that's fear, anger, or genuine love for his friends, it really makes you go "oh shit."

Techno's often said not to have character development, but I'd argue that while he remains steadfast in his moral code, he develops leaps and bounds as a person. Like, at the beginning, he's brought onto the server to help Wilbur and Tommy overthrow a government; them knowing he's 1) an anarchist and 2) very very powerful. His character was more of a plot device at that point and was treated as such in the canon. Wilbur and Tommy straight-up lie to him about their plans to establish another government after they overthrow the current one, while he was led on to believe that they were abolishing all governments in the area. But he isn't a plot device. He's a person, as much as he only shows the terrifying, blood god side of himself.

After the establishment of New Lmanburg (the new government its a long story), his friend Phil joins. And for the first time, we see him be fully human with someone and we see someone treat him like a human. Like, we saw glimpses before, with Wilbur and Tommy in Pogtopia, but Phil is the first person we noticeably see he trusts 100%. Then Doomsday happens, and Techno essentially retires to the tundra. During this time, we see Techno learn to be more human, first with Ranboo, then Niki when he establishes the Syndicate. In fact, the two of them, along with Phil, canonically throw him a birthday party, which is a far cry from his treatment in Pogtopia.

Techno's development is one of a god learning to be human, and I just think he <3

[spicynamericano]

Perception. - mk lee

sypnosis: you meet a stranger in the park, who helps you prepare for your interview with renowned author, mark lee.

word count: 2.1k

genre: fluff, strangers to friends!au, author!mark x reporter!reader

a/n: i impulsively wrote this in the wee hours of the morning because i can't stop thinking about mark lee and his poems! btw, this is my first time posting an au on this platform, but i do have ongoing twitter fics (written in eng/fil)!

I had just finished my late night shift at the office and was on my way home from work. Being a field reporter is not an easy job. I have to work my butt off to always stay up to date on the latest news and make sure to grab even the rarest exclusives.

I have to travel to basically anywhere, just to gather the most accurate information for the daily primetime news. And even if work is done for the day, I would usually go overtime to make sure no single detail is left out for tomorrow’s reports.

My workplace isn’t that far from home, or what I call home now. Moving into my elder sister’s old apartment was not a hassle. It was actually quite a blessing since I always used to stay over whenever we visited the city. I really thank the heavens that her place was near my workplace. Imagine the struggle of moving in and out from scratch. Actually, I wouldn’t even dare to imagine.

I would usually ride my bike to and from the office, but since I was running a bit late earlier in the morning, I decided to take the bus. Convenience at its finest. But it’s late now. A fifteen minute walk back home won’t hurt, right? Besides, I needed a breather. A walk in the nearby park would suffice.

It’s midnight and of course, the park is empty. Although Seoul is alive 24/7, I really like how some areas still have that laid-back vibe. I walk to the swings and place my bag on the ground. I do wish someone would push me right now. I just wanna be free from all the hectic stuff I’ve been doing lately.

But no, the quick rest I thought of didn’t stop me from going over tomorrow’s duties. I scan my little, brown notepad and check the work I have yet to accomplish. I mostly finished them before I got off work, but there is one more that I needed to do for tomorrow: interview Mr. Mark Lee, the author of the best-selling Late Night Scribbles.

It’s a collection of poems and prose he’s written over the course of five years during his travels to different cities as a renowned travel writer. His travel reviews and recommendations were something I always looked forward to reading. Maybe someday I could go on a stress-free holiday trip thanks to his advice.

I have read his book. For someone who’s trained into more technical writing like me, I could still clearly resonate with most of the poems he’s written. Not too shallow, not too deep. Though you do need to have a sense of literature in order to understand more of his deeper works. He isn’t famous for nothing.

What appalled me though is that he never showed his face to anyone, not even once. Some say he’s actually the main rapper of the world-renowned boy group NCT, since they bear the same name. I think otherwise. Well, it could be, though. Rappers do make their own lines and tell their own stories.

But I don’t think that Mark Lee would be the same person I’d be interviewing tomorrow. It’s weird because I won’t be actually meeting him face to face. He said he’d rather converse through email. Works for me since I don’t have to travel tomorrow. Thank God.

Well, let me tell you a secret. The reason I don’t think author Mark Lee is singer Mark Lee is because singer Mark Lee is actually my childhood best friend. Crazy, huh? I used to live in Vancouver when I was young until my family and I moved back to Korea during my teen years.

I don’t think he remembers me, though. But I do remember him. Our moms were practically best friends. I couldn’t say the same to us, only if he still actually remembers me.

I stretch my arms up high and bend it side to side. God, I need a massage asap. I was about to pick up my bag when a basketball rolled over and hit the tip of my loafers. A man dressed in black waves from the court, signaling to toss the ball to his direction.

I would toss it if I could but I walk over instead. Blame my poor strength and reflexes. And I obviously do not want to embarrass myself. A rough day’s a rough day. I don’t want an addition.

“Uhm, are you looking for this?” I ask the guy, tossing the ball mid-air.

“Yes, thank you…” he pauses. “uh…”

“Oh, it’s (y/n).” I introduced myself, “And you are?”

“Minhyung.”

“Well, you’re welcome, Minhyung. Good luck with your basketball practice!” I gave him a nod before finally turning back to go home.

“Wait!” he calls out. “Do you maybe wanna have a cup of coffee? There’s a nearby convenience store still open. I figured you might need it.”

Was it that obvious? I can’t imagine how stressed I look right now! He has probably seen the dark circles under my eyes. Gross.

I finally turn around and give him a smile, “You know, maybe I do need it. Let’s go?”

This man and I walk to the nearby convenience store just a few meters away from the court. It’s midnight and not many people are here. Well, just exactly like how I want it. The park can actually become full, even until 10 pm. But I guess these people also need some shut-eye. I’m actually surprised this man right here still has some energy left.

I wait outside and sit at the nearest gazebo while he buys instant coffee for the both of us. He arrives with three in hand. Does he like coffee that much?

“You’re really gonna drink two?” I ask him curiously.

“It’s actually for you,” he says as he hands me one of the cups. “I feel like you’re going to be staying up late tonight.”

Well, he’s right. I am gonna be staying up late. I still need to prepare questions for tomorrow’s, or later, rather, interview. I really won’t be getting some sleep tonight. I also need to do research on him too.

“Well, I do have an interview for tomorrow. I still need to prepare as it’s a very important one.”

“With whom, may I ask?”

“Mark Lee, the author. Not the singer.”

“Oh,” he lets out a soft sigh that can be heard, even through his mask. Is he offended that I don’t think author Mark Lee and singer Mark Lee are the same?

“Why do you sound so disappointed?”

“Uh, nothing. I just remembered the book he recently released. Have you read it?”

“Late Night Scribbles?”

“Yes, that!” he answered enthusiastically. Wow, I guess I found a fan right here. He might actually help me with my interview later. I need to grab this chance.

“Do you mind helping me? I’m actually going to interview him about it tomorrow.” I gave him the widest smile, hoping he’d say yes. I normally wouldn’t do this to strangers, especially at night. But I really just need to get this over with.

“Well, as someone who’s a fan of his works. I’d like to give it a try and interpret it,” he said, taking a sip of his coffee. “Just imagine I’m Mark Lee. Shoot your questions.”

“Hmm, I can’t be answering personal questions since you’re not Mark Lee.” I scratch my head. Damn, I can’t think of anything. My brain is not working right now! “But if you were Mark Lee, what would you want to be asked?”

“If I were Mark Lee? Well, rather than asking what my inspiration was behind the works I’ve made, I’d rather be asked on how I tried to convey my thoughts and feelings to this piece of work,” he explained, staring at the night sky.

I followed the direction of his gaze, and he’s looking at Orion, one of the brightest constellations out there. I gaze at it too while waiting for him to continue explaining.

“But isn’t it basically the same as drawing inspiration from something?” I ask profoundly.

“Not really. You can draw inspiration from anything. And you can come up with different outputs based on one inspiration. What’s important is how you’re able to connect the context of what you’re writing to the feelings you want to draw out,” he continues.

“With a single inspiration, I can come up with two completely different works based on how it’s written. The idea may be the same but the context is not.”

“Hmm, care to explain a little further?” I ask politely.

“We can use Black Socks as an example.”

Black socks are underrated

The way they connect the bottom sleeves of

my black sweatpants to my black sneakers

is just perfect

Pleasure from perfect alignment

That also goes for the ability to be parallel

with my thoughts and actions

I try to live out what’s in my mind, and keep

it consistent even when forgotten like a

working habit

A moment to think twice about what

seemed unimportant

Black socks have been making my day

these days and I knew I had to return the

favor by acknowledging them

I throw you in the bin only so that you can

be renewed again

“Black socks, literally an ordinary object that is tossed to the bin right after use. But what caught my eye is his appreciation for this mundane thing.”

“Through his words, you can tell black socks gave him comfort. He used a simple subject to convey his inner thoughts of how every little thing we don’t really recognize can actually be part of our routine, our life,” he said, looking me in the eye seriously.

“He found comfort in the most ordinary things no ordinary person would take notice of.”

Minhyung stands up and stretches his arms. He then continues, “It’s actually cool he shared this piece with us. If I were him, I’d go on and ramble how black socks could ruin my laundry.”

We both chuckle at the thought. It’s true. I hate how some of my black socks actually ruin my laundry. I dread the thought.

“It’s only a matter of perception, (y/n). Sometimes, you have to open your eyes and see, not look. Listen, not hear. Savor, not taste. Feel, not touch.”

“You know, you could actually be Mark Lee himself,” I tease him, “You do know your literature.”

I know he smiled at my remark. I can see his cheekbones rise from the edges of his mask.

“Sometimes, you just have to ask the right questions in order to get the answers you want,” he said teasingly. “You can’t get what you want if you don’t know what you want.”

For a stranger, he’s indeed a good talker. I actually learned so much from our talk tonight.

“Thanks for tonight, Minhyung. I really learned a lot.” I thank him before gulping down the last cup of coffee he bought me. “And thanks for the coffee, by the way! I now have energy to prepare for my interview later.”

“No problem. I’m just glad that I was able to help.”

I stood up from my seat and we both started walking away from the park.

“It’s 1 am. How are you gonna get home, (y/n)?” Minhyung asks worriedly. Yeah, it is pretty late. It’s a good thing I just live near.

“My apartment’s just two blocks away. I can manage,” I say with a smile, a genuine one at that. “How about you?”

“I’ll just grab a cab. Do you mind if I walk you home?” I don’t know why but I felt flustered for a moment. Surprisingly though, I just nodded my head, giving him permission to accompany me home.

We both arrive at the entrance of my apartment building and we say our last goodbyes.

“For a stranger, you really do know how to make people comfy,” I say, crossing my arms and giving him a stare, brows furrowed to tease him.

“Well, that’s just how I am,” he says while giving me a wink. Okay, now he’s flirting. Someone stop him, please. Just kidding.

“By the way, you haven’t taken your mask off the entire time except when drinking coffee. I couldn’t get a good glimpse at you since it was dark,” I explain. It’s true. Add the fact that I’m barely keeping myself awake the whole time. “I might’ve actually thought you’re an idol of some sort. Perhaps, maybe you are Mark Lee.”

“What?” he asks, puzzled and clearly taken aback. “Why’d you think so?”

“Because you share the same name with him.”

[savoryscribbles]

“Depression Sucks And You Don’t Deserve It”

Main masterlist

Haikyuu masterlist

Hewo once again I’m back, with a another self-indulgent fic hehe, and they’ll all be self-indulgent till I have more requests, so like idk, I love Kenma so fuckin much. And here’s some stuff Imma write(I haven’t writen it yet). And I heard a rumor(Umbrella Academy anyone?) that he is a CEO when he grows up??? So like CEO!Kenma. I really enjoyed writing this. I love Kenma so much, and yet I haven’t written much for him. Like I said I’m really proud of this and hope you enjoy! This is very different from my usual diologe heavy fics, Idk why I’m saying thay, it’s just something I’ve noticed. It’s a writing style I love, because I love descriptions, I live for paragraphs of the characters describing they’re love, it truly brings me to my knees.

Synopsis: The reader(you) are in a depressive slump, and don’t know how to get out of it. Luckily your loving husband Kenma, is here to help you, but what happens when he finds out the reason for your depression?

Warnings/tags: tooth rotting fluff, hurt/comfort, people being mean, Kenma not having any of it,

TW: MENTIONS OF DEATH THREATS AND THINGS SIMILAR, AS WELL AS SLUT SHAMING DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE EASILY AFFECTED BY SUCH THINGS

Word count:1300

⊱ ❀ ✿ ꕥ ✿ ❀ ⊰

Kenma didn’t love a lot of things. He could count on one hand the things he loved:

1. You

2.Spoiling you

2. His company

3. Video games

4. Apple pie

5. Kuroo

In that order. He felt so lucky to have you in his life. And hated it when you were down to yourself, hated it when you would shut everyone and everything out of your life. Luckily he alway managed to slither his way into your life whoever you would do that, and pull you out of the hole you dug yourself. He could always tell whoever you needed saving from yourself, and he would always be there to save his wonderful spouse.

So when he came home after a long day of work, and noticed you weren’t in the front rooms, he knew something was wrong.

Kenma is quite, he observes from afar. So he’s sad to say he didn’t really do anything for the first few days. He noticed your mood change though, he however did not know if it was just a little slump, or if you needed help to get out the hole you had likely dig yourself.

But he drew the line at you crying. It was a normal day, he fully expected to arrive home without a greeting, as he had for the past week. Something he was not prepared for was your soft sniffles coming from your shared bedroom.

He already knew that today was the day he was going to talk to you about your slump. This just pushed him farther.

It started as a one off remark.

‘I bet they’re just with him for the money’

Those kinds of comments didn’t affect you, and long ago had you learned to ignore them. The only reason that this time was any different, was that they didn’t stop there. What once was only a comment on an Instagram post, turned into private DM’s telling you to kill yourself.

One might say this is what comes with beings and online presence. But no one should be told to kill themselves, no one should be called a whore, just for living your life.

It was not the first time things had gotten quite bad, but this time had to be the worst. It caused you to lock yourself up in your room, and only come out for dinner. You cried when Kenma wasn’t home, and did your best to hide it.

You tired to push the thoughts away, you tried to ignore the comments, but they all kept a tight hold on your mental stability.

‘You’re just a gold digging whore.’

‘They don’t deserve Kenma’

‘They’re just a low level bitch using him for his money, I bet they’re cheating on him’

‘He’s so nice to them, gives them everything they want, and what does he get in return? Nothing. Cause they’re just a gold digging greedy whore.’

You couldn’t stop. You scrolled, reading every rude remark, every mean comment, every DM. At this point your tears were never ending, only stopping when you had become to dehydrated, but you didn’t have the energy to get up.

One day, you did your daily scroll through Twitter later than usual. This was because it was getting bad, you woke up hours later than normal, you had lost all your energy to move, it took you an hour or so just to move your hand to the bedside table. And it had taken another 30 minutes to just look at your phone.

You’re cry’s were to loud for you to hear the door open. And you had just barely noticed your bedroom door being opened. And you hardly registered Kenna’s voice.

“Why are you crying?” He asked you dipping down to see your face more clearly. You didn’t respond to him, just starring blankly at the screen. He noticed and slowly took your phone form your grasp, making you finally look at him, only causing you to burst into another round of tears. You turn around, your back facing him, afraid that once he saw you he’d realize how much you don’t deserve him.

‘He doesn’t deserve me. I’m just an ugly lazy bitch. What have I done this week? Stayed in bed all day. I’m useless. He doesn’t love me. He doesn’t love me. He doesn’t love me’

Kenma looked down at your phone, putting two and two together. What he saw astonished him. He saw comment after comment of rude remarks toward what he assumed was you. He scolded himself.

‘How did I not see these? Is this what caused them to be down this whole week? Why didn’t they tell me? They would have told me if it got bad right? Right?’

You felt him tug at your shoulder, signaling for you to turn back toward him. You ignored this, favoring your self-loathing thoughts.

“Love, I need you to turn around.” Kenma said, tugging a little harder. You sill ignored him, causing him to sign, and eventually let go. You thought you were free, and he was going to leave you alone, but oh how you were wrong.

Kenma took off his dress shoes, blazer, tie, belt and pants, opting for the most comfortable he could be, knowing he most likely was going to be in bed for awhile. He then walked around the bed and climbed in. Quickly wrapping you in his arms before you had a chance to turn around or pull away. He muttered a thanks to whatever god was up there for maintaining his setter reflexes from high school.

“I read some of the comments you were looking at. You know none of them are true right?” He whispered, trying his best to comfort you. Even though he had greatly mutured, he still had a lack of social and comfort skills. He often opted to buy gifts as a way to show love, which is where most of those rude comments got their fuel from.

You didn’t respond, and tried your hardest to not melt in his chest. It was so easy to love him, he was amazing. And you didn’t deserve him. He noticed your lack of response and decided to just hold you tighter, knowing you’d talk when you’re ready. You felt your resolve crumble as you wrapped your arms around Kenmas neck, holding him as tight as you could.

“I’m- I’m sorry! I’ve been- been just laying here doing nothing this whole week, I’m useless, I don’t deserve you!” You balled into him. He was shocked, he hadn’t expected you to say such words, such lies. You were far from useless, even if you didn’t work, you were amazing, you cooked dinner, sometimes did house chores, and most importantly, kept Kenma happy, he would have given up a long time ago if not for you, you and your high spirits, never letting him give up. If he was being frank, he didn’t deserve you, you were perfect, an angel, a goddess, a god.

“You aren’t useless, you my love are amazing, truly amazing, you could never be useless, even if you didn’t lift a finger for the rest of your life. You deserve me, hell I’m not even sure I deserve you.” He responded seriously. He would never let you think bad about yourself, and if you did he was always going to be there to put an end to it, he tried his best to help you see yourself to the angel you were.

You just held him, crying until you couldn’t anymore. He didn’t say much either, he had said all he needed to say. He just held you tightly, waiting for you to speck, or fall asleep, or pull away, something.

When you pulled back, he heard your stomach growl. He whipped your remaining tears from your face before ducking down to kiss you. And oh how he missed, it had been a week, of course he missed it.

The kiss was a long passion filled one, expressing all the love you both weren’t able to.

“I’m hungry.” You muttered when you eventually pulled away.

“I think I can help with that.” He said carrying you to the kitchen.

[fayeimara]

Meant To Be || One For Every Billion

8. Fan Behaviour

Your impromptu group has slowly made way through the long street of vendors over the last hour, sampling different treats and picking up small trinkets and mementos of the festival.

It's been pretty exhilarating not only with the exuberant energy of the younger girls with whom Akari somehow seems to blend right into, but also the odd tension between you and Suna. He's mostly stayed by your side as you stroll behind the others, his watchful eye on his sister and her friends but you've also caught his discerning stare aimed your way many times as well.

In as little as sixty minutes, that's quite a lot of time to make eye contact with a silent and seemingly immovable companion for the night. You don't let his demeanor throw you off, however, and continue on, immovable in your own way. Which means you say what comes to mind but don't follow the urge to stumble or yammer to fill any quiet gaps in conversation.

Somehow, it works and instead of being awkward and uncomfortable, you find myself at an odd peace, even with the feeling in the air as if you're at a precipice.

You haven't felt this level of comfort and familiarity with someone since... well, since Toru, you suppose. At the thought, a prickle rushes over your skin but you shouldn't have anything to feel bad about. You're in no way committed to anyone and you're sure nothing will happen here, regardless.

"Sorry," You look over at Suna's quiet intervention to your thoughts, "I don't have a jacket on me."

You raise an eyebrow before realizing you must have shivered outwardly at your last thought, hm, you really are letting your guard down to have let a physical reaction slip through. And he really is as perceptive as you first thought to have noticed that small movement.

Looking over at his own simple yukata that suits him incredibly well, you feel the corner of your lip lift before replying, "No, but it's so worth it."

He flicks another one of those sideways looks at you, chin lifted slightly and face angled so you can't read too much of it, "Yeah? Like what you see?"

"Oh yeah." You bite down on your lip to stop your smile from breaking into a flirty grin. You really cannot stress how incredible attractive his laid back confidence is to you.

A small smile of his own breaks through and you catch it before he turns his face away to the stalls on his right. When he looks back, it's gone as if it never happened but there's a look in his eyes that makes you feel almost breathless.

You think you actually do lose your breath when he smirks and casually adds, "Me too."

"Y/n-chan! Rin-onii!" You don't get a chance to respond as Rika bounces back to you both, "We're at the end, but Akari-chan found us a perfect place for the best view for the fireworks!"

"Then lead on, brat." Suna huffs out in mock annoyance. Yeah, you've been getting slightly better at reading him over the past hour. It's a gift.

The two of you follow behind them again, heading towards one of the bridges over the river beyond the street you were just on. There are glowing paper lanterns floating in the water below, lazily passing underneath and by in groups across the length of the bridge. Strung up above you all and reflecting in the dark water are similar lanterns, casting a warm glow over your group's chosen little corner with only a few people some distance away from you all.

Even if the view of the fireworks isn't all that great from here, which you're not sure about since you don't know quite where they've been set up, this ambience is enough to make this a perfect place to rest. Suna leans his back against the railing, right beside where you've chosen to lean forward facing the other way, with your forearms resting on the wrought iron as you survey the lanterns that are carried away.

"Do you game?"

You jerk your head up at his random question, looking up at him where he's got his classic side gaze trained on you. Hm, maybe not so random as probing. You answer just as succinctly as he asked his question, "I do."

"Okay." Another smile tugs at his mouth, you're sure he knows you're being stubborn. "Your voice..."

He's baiting you but what exquisite temptation, you can't help but ask, "What about it?"

"It sounds so..." He trails off, as if lost in thought but you think he's just torturing you for your sass earlier.

You're usually patient, you swear, but.. "Suna." but, you're starting to think his patience might just outweigh yours.

"Familiar." His eyes meet yours again as soon as the word leaves his lips and you're called back to the moments you were thinking that being around him felt familiar too.

But that's not what he means is it? You wait for him to speak again and when he does, even though you're expecting his next implication, you're somehow still both surprised and flattered, "I really like your channel."

"You watch GameOverGirls?" Yeah, that's literal disbelief in your voice. You know you and Vee have a lot of followers on the channel the two of you started back in the fall, especially thanks to both your fans from other clubs and activities, but here in Japan? At least any family you have hear that know about it would make sense, they know you from the first degree. But how would Suna Rintaro have found you already?

He shrugs casually, expression unreadable when he answers, "I like your voice. And you actually know what you're talking about." Then, with a smirk, "The streams aren't too bad either."

You don't even know where to start. The audacity of this pretty boy. Now you're flattered, flustered, and somehow offended at the same time. "When did you figure it out?"

"Just now."

"Seriously?"

"I couldn't place it at first. But then I just did."

"Huh."

"Pretty sure this is where you say thank you."

"For what? Entertaining you?" You pretend to yawn with a hand to your lips and a roll of your eyes, "Talk about fan behaviour."

He tilts his head back fully to study the sky, "Guess I can't deny it, huh?"

With a laugh, you mirror his stance, turning around to lean back against the railing and tilting your head up to survey the stars. After a pause, you give him an opening, "Unless you think you can do better?"

"Well, I could have cut some serious time on that run through of Sekiro. And yeah, I'd be the one carrying you through Warzone." He pretends to grimace and you smack his arm in retaliation.

"Please, squad up and let's see who carries who."

"Okay, bet."

You're about to turn to look over at him to see if he's serious or not about his offer to join your party sometime when something streaks over the sky. You've been expecting the fireworks but when you realize what it is, you suddenly reach out to his arm with one hand and point with the other, excitedly exclaiming, "Oh my god, Suna, a shooting star! Make wish, quick!"

Then you're watching its briefly brilliant light slowly disappear, scrambling to think of your own wish without realizing you're already making one by wishing that you could enjoy more moments like this. It takes you a little bit to realize you're still lightly holding Suna's wrist and he hasn't said anything.

After another beat, once the star has completely disappeared, your eyes slip back over to meet his only to realize he's already been watching you. You're compelled to break the building tension and choose to ask, "Did you make a wish?"

The serious, piercing look in his eyes holds you in a trance as he replies, "I did."

Light blooms across his face just as he answers, sharp, bright bursts accompanied by loud booms and pops, but you can't tear your gaze away from his own immovable, captivating gaze. It's better this way, the reflection in his eyes as they echo the light cast by the fireworks.

So the two of you stand there watching each other instead of the fireworks, surrounding by the cheering of your group leaning on the railing across from you both, conveniently facing away from you to give the illusion of a private moment. One that belongs just to you and Suna.

x-x-x-x-x

The rest of the night flies by quick as you and Suna are pulled to rejoin the rest of the group shortly after your interesting moment together. You don't know what it means but what you are sure of is that you'll be replaying it over and over in your head later, unable to stop from analyzing such a poignant moment with a guy that was a complete stranger to you just hours before.

Neither of you really have the chance to explore it further either, as you're both pulled this way and that by the others for the rest of the activities. No more breathtaking moments relatively alone together, but you don't mind too much, you have to think it over after all and need a minute to catch your breath in the meantime.

Everyone writes down hopes and wishes on paper lanterns before setting them afloat to join the hundreds of other dreams that float away hopefully to a benign deity. Your group then stops at the shrine, placed at the apex of the location, to offer your respective prayers before returning to loop around to any stalls you missed.

As you're all winding down for the night, Rika asks for your socials and you happily oblige. Suna, on the other hand, manages to slip your phone out of his sister's hand as the two of you are exchanging the devices back and taps at it briefly before handing it back to you. You smirk and mouth 'fan behaviour' when you see he's added his contact info, including his twitter handle.

He just raises an unbothered eyebrow and replies out loud, "Just wait until it's you asking for my autograph. You'll thank me then."

"I won't need to thank you if you're my friend."

"But you'll still need my autograph?" He smirks at you.

You can't help but tease about something you both had discussed earlier, "Didn't you tell me you were scouted to go to school here? I'm sure I'll be wanting your name on a paper someday."

"You'll want my name, huh? At least buy me dinner first."

You blush as you realize how he twisted your words and, for once, you don't have a comeback. So you make a reckless, last ditch effort to act like he didn't just win this round and do the opposite of denying his words, "Sure, Suna Y/n has a nice ring, I guess."

Holy shit. You didn't think anything couldn't completely break his impassive expression but you think you might have accidentally have won this round as you see the shock roll his expression right before the red of a full blush sneaks up to kiss his cheeks and tips of his ears.

His surprised eyes are wide on yours as if he's frozen solid by your words before he blinks and then it's like a shutter as he recollects himself and suddenly he's completely unreadable again. But you saw it, that moment that Suna Rintaro was completely caught unaware and absolutely flustered.

You both know who won, though somehow, he still gets the last word, "Well, that's definitely one way to get a permanent autograph."

The two of you turn and start to move forward to the exit in mutual silence, neither you nor Suna noticing Rika still by you both, having watched your exchange in delighted surprise and gears now turning in her head as she realizes her half baked idea earlier seems to have worked even better than she could have ever imagined.

Prev | Next

Masterlist

Behind The Scenes!

-Remember Vee's tweet back in the Falling Into Winter Interlude? Sept 18th (21-09-18 timestamp if you're curious) - she was promoting her and Y/n's gaming channel - GameOverGirls :)

-There was still another hint connection in regards to it back in the same episode

-One that may be one or two degrees of relation as to how Suna found the channel ;)

-He really does like Y/n's voice specifically (even though Vee's got a nice one too but he's barely noticed lol), long before he saw the pretty face to match :D

-Y/n and Vee only suffered through Sekiro on a bet from Key and Tee

-Suna realized it was crazy since he just met Y/n tonight but... he kind of liked how his name sounded with hers..

A/N: Seriously, why is everything about him so pretty??? His name, looks, voice. Just...why? Anyways, with this episode, I've caught up to where I'm currently at in written segments for this series so updates might be slightly slower than usual until I can pull back ahead. Additional notes - I don't know why but I'd mixed up the pic for Suna's priv with his main so ended up using the same one for both since it was too late by the time I realized. It'll be fixed from here on. Also, clearly, the yukata pic makes him look older but he's still 14, it's more about the visual of him in his simple (but striking) yukata <3 Finally... can we all guess which precious bby boy is next???

Taglist: @delusivist, @prettyinblack231, @kac-chowsballs, @sakusasimpbot, @hawkthekinnie, @poppi144, @oikawasbuttcheeks

[ginnyzero]

8 Reasons “Insta-Love” Doesn’t Work

A reader’s perspective.

I’ve taken up doing a review booktube for indie SFF books, and have decided only to do 4 or 5 star reviews due to some social pressures being an indie author and also being a reviewer. This means I’ve been SLUSH reading. (You can get lots of indie books free if you trawl twitter and start an amazon wishlist and wait.)

I’m coming up against some trends. A major one is what I call “Insta-Love.” You know, girl/boy meets girl/boy and they are attracted to them for some reason they can’t explain and the next page or chapter they are in love.

Except, the story isn’t about this romance at all. And in the end, the romance doesn’t work for me as a reader, so here are 8 reasons why in author terms b/c I also happen to be an author.

1) It’s Creepy.

Speaking from personal experience and having been on the receiving side of someone who met me and then claimed they loved me less than 24 hours later, this is seriously creepy. You don’t really know this person. They don’t know you. Yet, they’re claiming after to have knowing you for 12 hours, you are the one for them. If asked, they probably can’t tell you why. And if pressed, it’s probably because they have an idealized fantasy of you in your head and aren’t in love with the “real” you at all. They can’t be. They don’t know you. Instead, they are crossing lots of reasonable boundaries and trying to plan a rosy future, or giving you love poetry, or making hyperbolic claims to your mutual friend group.

It becomes downright disconcerting very quickly. So, if all your characters know about each other is that the other is attractive and then they are claiming they are in love. I’m going to be highly disturbed and not believe it for a moment.

2) There is something else important going on and honestly, there’s no time for a romance.

Unless your book is specifically in the romance genre, usually, there is something else going on in the book taking more words and the character’s urgent time and attention. Therefore, regulating your romance to the designation of a subplot. The thing about subplots is they need to be as structured and given attention to as much as your main plot.

And usually in a science fiction or fantasy setting, the main plot is something with pretty high stakes, so much, your main character isn’t going to have time or emotional energy to do more than go “oh pretty person” and move on. If your character is under stress, not getting enough sleep, is preoccupied with saving the world, they are simply not going to have a sex or romantic drive. Stress/Lack of Sleep/Big Projects put the brakes on the hormones causing sexual/romantic attraction.

So, really, your “insta-love” romance subplot becomes little more than a distraction from the main plot when your character isn’t even going to have the energy to do more than go “oh cute person.”

3) It feels contrived or shoe horned into the plot.

Carrying on from above, making the entire romance feel contrived or even forced into your main plot usually for no reason.

If you can take out your romance subplot and it doesn’t actually change the overall story of your book, then I have to question why you feel the need to have a romance subplot in the first place!

Writing in a romance for the sake of having a romance, and your authorial belief that these two people should be together are not great reasons for having a romance. Because…

4) There’s no valid reason for them to be together.

With an insta-love romance plotline, we are given no good reason why these two people even like each other, would be friends, much less fall in love. “Oh, they’re hot,” is a nice valid reason for casual sex, not for an involved and committed relationship. Usually, the reasons given for them being in love are superficial and shallow and the characters’ basic personality sheet.

“She’s smart.” “He’s warm.”

When it comes to a romance, there needs to be more than that. Why should this character trust this new character they just met with their emotions?

99.99% of the time they shouldn’t because…

5) In fact, there’s usually a valid reason for them to be apart.

The biggest question a romance plotline needs to answer is “why can’t they be together now?” And the most common answer I’ve found to it in a science fiction/fantasy setting tends to be ‘power imbalances.’ Power imbalances are things like age differences, and commander/boss and subordinate relationships. Sometimes power imbalances include class, education, and money.

If the power such as age, authority, education or class, is weighed too far in the direction of one character over the other, we are back to point number one. It is creepy. In fact, it is downright toxic. The worst is when they combine age and authority. It is enough to make my skin crawl. Relationships when one character has power over the other are unhealthy. They can lead to abuse and assault.

Only a relationship where the characters are on equal footing with each other and trust and respect each other are going to be healthy.  

6) It’s not earned.

With insta-love plotlines, I, the reader, are told over and over and over again that these two characters are in love. I’m not shown this due to the fact it’s a subplot most of the time and the author doesn’t take the words to have the characters interact with each other on a regular basis as real people do and if they are shown together it’s probably in the capacity of ‘this is why they can’t be together.’ So, if they are getting together at the end of the book it doesn’t feel satisfying because I’ve been told they’re good for each other instead of having them interacting together and showing they work well together and they have chemistry.

This, also, by the way goes for friendships.

In order for a romance plot to feel satisfying and to feel like it actually matters and can’t just be ripped out of the book, you have to take the words and take the time to throw these characters together consistently so the reader can see, instead of being told, they are good together. If your book has to fall within a certain word count and you don’t think you have those words. Take out the romance subplot and see how much it changes the book.

It probably won’t. Your book, in fact, might be better off without it.

I challenge you to go through your book and take out anything that says “they are the best friend, lover,” followed by any summary, give it to a beta reader and ask them questions about the relationships in the book. If your beta reader can go “oh, and the best friend is awesome as a best friend” without much prompting, then your relationships have come across without having to actually say they’re the best friend.

Show. Show. Show. Any time you’re tempted to tell us a relationship and summarize, show it instead. Then the relationship will feel earned by the end of the book.

7) It usually makes smart, competent characters look anything but smart and competent.

There are two versions of this really. One version is the main character really is smart and competent, so having her be distracted from their job or the mission at hand by a hot guy just makes her come off as a ditz whose brain has fallen out her ear at a time when she really can’t afford to have her brains fall out her ears. You’re telling me one thing, this character is smart and competent, and showing me another, this character is easily distracted by ‘oh shiny.’

Version two is the main character doesn’t think they are smart and competent, but a hot guy shows up to ‘save the day’ and she’s going to refuse him at first due to ‘oh my independence’ until she really can’t save the day herself or learn anything and ends up relying on the hot guy anyways. And they fall in love despite his boundary crossing and stalking and insistence he has her best interests at heart when he’s a stranger. See point one of creepy!

I am not really sure which leaves more of a bad taste in my mouth to be honest.

It doesn’t help that sometimes the character in the book seems little more than a list of traits off a personality sheet being told to us than a well-rounded fleshy character with wants, needs, fears, likes, conflicts, and personal stakes in the matter at hand. Whether or not flat character is remotely likeable is debatable.

Dumping a romance onto a character who is paper thin doesn’t actually make the character more rounded. It just adds more pressure to that paper thin character to try to uphold any semblance of character consistency and the plot without tearing in half. And many, many times, the hot character shows up to solve the problems in the first chapter of the book before we even have a chance to know the main character at all!

When you tell the reader one thing, and show them another, it creates dissonance. The character isn’t being consistent. Inconsistent characters leave the reader frustrated. And they won’t want to read more of your books.

8) Psychopaths are warm and charming too. AKA If your character is opening up to a stranger after less than a real time day of knowing them, that is a cry for help and they need therapy not a romantic relationship.

“There’s just something about them,” the character says. “I can tell them anything even things I won’t tell my best friends/parents.”

And I go, “he’s going to kill you, run!”

In order for people to really connect to each other, they have to show or experience vulnerability together. It establishes this thing we call trust. Having the ‘deep conversation’ about past trauma is a short cut authors use to try and establish trust between two strangers to try and show that this person isn’t like other people and is worthy of said trust.

-makes grand gestures at Frozen’s Hans-

It doesn’t work. Why? Because honestly, if you’re opening up about your trauma to a sympathetic stranger, you need help. Like, therapy style help. Being vulnerable, and pouring out your trauma to a sympathetic stranger who is now going to cheerfully take advantage of you because yes, psychopaths can be warm and charming, aren’t the same things. For a balanced healthy person, having a complete stranger tell them about their traumatic past is really downright terrifying and intimidating. You’re just trying to have coffee and find out if you like the same weather patterns and they’re talking about their dead parents.

Check please!

Relationships are fragile and they take hard work. You need to build them up over time to create a strong foundation before dumping past trauma on them. Or, you know, go to therapy and learn coping mechanisms, how to move on, before you toss a bunch of emotional weight/stress onto your romantic partner. The same is true for a character in a book. See six. Make them earn it!

This has gotten a little long because I have opinions. Obviously. In conclusion, in my opinion as a reader, if you aren’t willing to spend as many words on your romance plot as you are your main plot, then you don’t have the words or the tools or a good reason to be including a romance into your story. And here are 8 reasons, I don’t think insta-romances work out for the reader. Take your time and use your words wisely!

[destiny-smasher]

(Music by Samantha Pena, soudncloud user spena1989) Not gonna lie, I'm at a point with All Wounds where I'm like...oof, I wasn't able to envision everything I wanted to a few years back (by a long shot) but I'm kinda...wanting to be done with it. Even though I don't want to be done with it. 😅All Wounds was created from the get-go to be a visual novel - that's why the initial demo released so early into the project's life. My original intent was to go back and forth between fic and VN. But my original intent was also to end the story during the Portland road trip (Chapter 7). And while you could certainly make a case that the story is technically stronger up until that point, and becomes less potent and more dragged out for it's post-time-skip stuff, the latter stuff was also just...a lot more fun to write. And when I look back, if I had committed to the visual novel as intended, we'd not have gotten, like, ANY of that post-time-skip stuff, which includes Other Max being as fully fleshed out as she became. She'd have been stuck being a ghost in Max's head, pretty much. At this point, though, it's been so long, the fic I made INSTEAD of working on the visual novel is SO long, interest in the project peaked back while it was being written, working on this by myself is DAMN exhausting in terms of time spent, emotion and mentality drained, etc. Whenever I go back and listen to all of the amazing music made by people in the LiS it reinspires me to keep working on All Wounds but that's had diminishing returns as my life has changed drastically this past year. I love Max and Chloe. But, tbh, I just moved to a new country and got married, and I love my wife more than Max and Chloe? ^_^;; I’m not depressed and stuck in retail hell anymore, relying on staying up late working on a LiS fan project to channel that depression. I don't wanna completely shut the door on the visual novel and there's a chance I may still try to keep pushing to at least get to that road trip and maybe fudge it a bit. After all, a LOT of work has been done to the project that isn’t apparently or accessible in the public version; and I was able to add pretty well presented versions of Chapters 3 and 4 recently. So it’s entirely possible I could at least push it a little bit further if I end up inspired to do so. Either way, regardless, I still want to try some kind of epilogue, end-cap, etc, maybe even in VN form (Jenny and I had envisioned an epilogue where the characters play DnD). Max and Chloe mean the world to me, and exploring a version of events where both endings of the original game are expanded and tied together felt very cathartic. I'd rather that exist in SOME form (fic) than none at all; I think I'd still have done things this way a second time. But All Wounds inherently was a story about processing pain and grief and trauma and figuring out how to cope with it and heal and move on. And when I was at such low points, that made sense to write and steep myself in. But now? It just kinda doesn't. More than anything, though, is the fact that it's still a fan project - one that has had a lot of its interest evaporated for multiple reasons. The game’s ending is over four years old now; a prequel AND a sequel have both come out, further fragmenting the fandom; people have moved on. And it’s easy for outsiders to not realize how emotionally exhausting and sometimes painful All Wounds was, has been, and can still be for me to work on. Even things like pieces of music or art made by people who hurt me, who I hurt, that shit isn’t easy to work with. I could be spending all of this effort and energy on something less emotionally painful that isn't complete in ANY form AND is original. It feels bad to seriously consider dropping it when I'm sure there are still SOME people out there waiting for it, but I have other stories that I really need to work on. I can't keep myself locked in this cage forever when the work is such an unreasonable mountain to surpass. What I HAVE created is a fleshed out and substantial story and a chunk of it imagined in VN format which all kind of acts as a love letter to PriceField as well as an ultimately cathartic way to leave that original game to rest, I hope. Going forward I really think I'd like for Arcadian Rhythms to function as my one sole fanfic project I do inbetween original works, with one-shots or other bits (like the Butterfly Soup fic) just being other, far less intensive ways of working out those kinds of inspiration. It would probably do me better to also not talk about what I'm working on (aside from AR I suppose) in much depth or detail until I have something finished to really show for it. 😓 So if you want to see what I’ve been able to make of the visual novel so far, you can find that here.If you want to read the prose fic version of the story, which was finished quite some time ago (and which is where I want to update with an epilogue eventually), you can find that here. My newer fandom project, Arcadian Rhythms, which actually does feature Life is Strange characters, can be checked out here. You can follow our Patreon over here - we’ve been on hiatus as we deal with immigration but that should be all sorted soon. Regardless, any major updates to projects will be getting posted there once we’re back up and running. And you can follow me on Twitter over here; or just check back on my personal Tumblr here as I’m sure any meaningful thing I complete, fanfic or otherwise, will get posted here. So to clarify, current creative plans for the future on my own time: - original fiction projects (I’ve actually started work on an original VN for ex.) - Arcadian Rhythms for fun - some kind of epilogue for All Wounds - some kind of conclusion to Runners at the Corners (Butterfly Soup)

Interest in AW severely declined after the fic was done, no one else seems interested in working on it, either, it'd be SO MUCH work still. Sunken cost fallacy is a thing and tbh that’s part of why I even pushed myself to finish the update I did a few weeks ago. I am sorry to anyone who’s been waiting all this time for it - what I managed to produce is still a multi-hour visual novel, and I am still contemplating trying to at least get it to the end of the pre-time-skip. At the very least, there is still a complete story that can be read in fic form, the project just floated up and away from a reasonable grasp for one person, mainly because I just...wrote way more than I originally intended to. When I started work on this prokect, I also didn’t expect to fall in love, struggle to make ends meet, move across an ocean, and get married. And as important as All Wounds has been to me, I did at least finish telling the story I started, and the story it became, but I’ve learned all I can from it at this point and am so tired of trying to drag it out on my own. In the same way All Wounds sees Max and Chloe needing to accept their losses and let themselves move forward despite not everything going how they wanted, I guess I have to do the same with this project. Max and Chloe start a new future together, and it’s that time in my life where I probably should start doing the same. I need to start focusing on telling my own stories with my own characters more than I have been, as well as making more space for this new future with my new wife. And to All Wounds, the most difficult project I’ve worked on to date, as someone I once knew once sang, "I know, I know I made so many promises I know I left you such a mess; Gotta let go, gotta let go, and move on Been walking in a circle for too long"

And as another musician put it,

“Come and see the light of day out in the open It’s like I’m waking from a dream, oh Many days since I have seen the end unfolded Many times that I’ve looked back on all the times that we have had”

[gelo-p]

Cycling Seasons, Fresh Skies: Memories

I knew from a long time ago that if I’d ever go for a T10, this would be it. When the event was finally getting closer, early estimates told me I was 900 flames short; I’d have to buy stars for this event.

(WARNING: A rather image-heavy post)

Perhaps the moment I honestly considered T10 instead of settling for T100.

Definitely the moment I knew there was no turning back. :)))

Believe me, this was not the only purchase I made for this event.

I needed a better Challenge Live team, so I knew getting a 4* Happy Ran is required, to complete my Happy Afterglow team. I’ve never gotten any 4* Ran before, so thank god the 4* Exchange Ticket had the perfect timing.

“WAIT. YOU WERE USING A HAPPY TEAM ALL THIS TIME???”

Yep. ^^ Well, my Multi Live team was Powerful Afterglow-based, but had only 2 4-stars, sooo I knew it wouldn’t cut it.

There she is <3

I’ve always stopped at Skill Level 4, but I really had to pull out all the stops. Ran is my first Skill Level 5 member. ^^ (everyone in my CL team also received the level 5 upgrade)

Alright, let’s do this! Hey Hey Hoh~!

The event has finally begun! I initially found it amusing seeing all sorts of titles being shown off. This one in particular stood out to me. XD

(Looking back, that Sinz person would later turn out to be a serious T10 contender. I think they changed their name to Pyokun after some time)

Here’s a screenshot of a rare T5 GeLö-P. I really wanted to share this with you guys, but I figured I’d jinx myself by revealing publicly what I was trying to do. :>

(I will doubt the existence of God Almighty, but believe in being jinxed. Life is weird sometimes.)

Well, that’s the Grand Room for ya’. Meta songs all the way~

How do you even react to that?

With this. :)))

NEXT YOU’LL SAY FUEEEEE

Home Street...

Home Street.......

HEY HEY HOH~! 

The moment I ran out of large energy drinks, and had to start spending stars. </3 Small energy drinks were still reserved for moments I can afford to wait out the 30-minute refill timer.

The 5 Horsemen of the Apocalypse

My first time doing the “recover waaaaay more than 10 flames” thing

Huhehe huhehe huhehe...

I too would like some of those Afterglow pins. T_T

Baby Shak my as-

Aaaand we have a dodger, ladies and gentlemen. XD

I think this guy needs to be banned.

Home Street? Pssh, that was so yesterday. Jumpin’ is the shit now.

Ganbatte, P5.

Himari~

My 2nd encounter with Ghostkillers (who later become T12..?). He chose Senbonzakura the first time, so when he did it again, I thought I’d save it for posterity. ^^

The “I too would like to live dangerously” gang 8-)

The first time I switched away from my dua T100 titles. I figured I’d stop trying to “scare” the competition.

First time tracking T10 scores. This would later prove to be very useful in seeing if my projection will hold (although I shifted to tracking T3 - T12).

Taking a break, so I watched ads for free flames. :)))))

Moca, Ran, GeLö-P, and a weird name. Huh. Okay.

Kyu~Mai * Flower was released! Played this one on Hard.

...this one I played on Expert...

...and thank fuck I got it first try, because oh boy I’m not playing that beat map again. >_<

“Ban me if you can” ?? Why??

Aaaaand this motherfucker right here was cheating and inflating his score. I personally reported him to the game admins over on twitter, and they’ve informed me that they were already aware of this idiot. Saw him just once more after this.

Yes. That’s 91 million, 798 thousand, 346.

I actually encountered them once before this, but didn’t notice anything off about their score (was already dazed at that time). And then a discussion started over at reddit, so when I met him again, I took screenshots.

Ganbatte :))

Had time for a quick hey hey hoh spam ^^

Which day was this..? Anyway I came up with my brilliant pun. Read the comment, see if you can figure it out. :3

MocaRan and YukiLisa. Sigh. I don’t think we can be friends, P5.

:)))

Told you, Ghostkillers only pick Senbonzakura XD

Tomoe’s Birthday! ^^

Even the game won’t let you have a GF, P5. XD

HEATHCLIFF STOP PICKING BABY SHARK

(almost sure they’re famous in the competitive scene... I don’t know them tho LOL)

I woke up one morning to find there was no internet.

FUCK ME

I knew mobile data was going to result to multiple disconnects, but thank fuck I had lots of challenge points to spare. I passed the time productively, and by the time I was done, internet was back. Whew.

Rank update: currently T8. ^^

More of Ghostkillers x Senbonzakura and JFC that name tho P2

Shitpost comment XD

First time seeing 2 other T10 contenders in the same room: Itsuki and Ghostkillers.

Probably the point where I started spamming Tokimeki Poporon instead of Home Street.

Also there’s a looot of interesting names in Bandori.

As a YukiRan / MocaLisa shipper (well more of SayoLisa nowadays), it is my job to destroy players 1, 3, and 5. >:(

Wallet: IT’S NOT POSSIBLE

Me: NO, IT’S NECESSARY

...aaaaaand I immediately threw away 10k stars hoping for Megane Ran, but got shit. (This would later force me to make 2 more purchases XD Seriously though, I could have saved a lot of money with a better star purchase plan)

I got Loli Rinko tho. <3

Which day was this...? I think this was the moment I knew Ghostkillers has given up. I was laughing my ass off reading the comments. I think everyone of us was half-dead at this point. XD

And so we’re down to the final 11.

I’ve started considering the possibility at this point that I might be the final one to bow out.

OMG I CAN’T SEE PLAYER 2

BUSHIDO~!

I was feeling the despair at this point, and thus started singing Komm Susser Tod

I do mini-sprints in the morning, so I’m T6 here. I usually fall back down to ~T9 in the afternoon.

I usually level up once per event. I started this event from Rank 193. :)))

(well it was technically 192, but I was like 2 games away from leveling up)

XD

There are no experts in this room :v

Jumpin = NO FEVER, but picks meta song anyway. Okay. :v

Hey! All Random!

Game: DID SOMEONE ASK FOR A META SONG

I have a lot of friend requests at this point (probably from people seeing me on the T10 list), but I don’t have enough space to accept them all :((

Bread-themed profile!

Poppin’ Party, Puff n’ Pastry... get it?

Itsuki started spamming BOF at this point.

Doki doki~

HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME~ ♪ ♫

P1 is an IRL friend :))) I’d later tease her about how slow she is picking songs LOL

Some Initial D reference for overtaking :P Of course I was badly falling behind at this point (T9 is hella dangerous), but I had no choice but to continue to believe in the math (and that early overtaking is a bad choice).

“Early moves lets your opponents recover from mental shock.” - Ryosuke Takahashi, Initial D 3rd Stage

No seriously, that’s exactly what I was thinking of. And also “Not yet, not yet, now” from Ford v Ferrari.

P1 & P5 get married already...

FINAL NIGHT.

I’m down to T11, and everybody else already did 2.3M-sprints some hours earlier, and have considerably slowed down.

I, on the other, was about to go to sleep. Yes, I, the current T11, was about to let the others pull away. All I could do was believe in the Math at that point, because let me tell you-

I had 105k challenge points left. That’s 3.4M event points I had yet to sprint.

This was during the final morning, 9 hours before event ended. When I woke up that morning, my heart was pounding like crazy. What if everybody has pulled ahead?

When I finally checked, most of the T10′s were still in the 17M-range. Itsuki was on T10, and he was only 500k away. I knew at that point that my chances were pretty good; however, I shut up about it, set my comment to “Now Playing: Running in the 90′s”, and got to work.

There was nothing else I could to but consume all the CP I had left. No more tracking. A literal 5-hour non-stop sprint to 19.2M points. If they can still catch up even after they’ve already expended their CP yesterday, then maybe I don’t deserve this T10 after all.

All I need to do was beat one of them. It was me or them.

Holy shi-

I wasn’t out of the woods yet, had to make sure at least one of them didn’t overtake me. Of course that was more up to them, since I didn’t have any strength left (my thumb stopped working at that point, no seriously, it’s still not working properly even today). I also didn’t have any significant stars left.

I managed to sneak in a few songs, but that was it. I was done. The others managed to close the gap, but I stayed in T6.

And then the event was over.

I fucking did it.

------

I would later learn that this was the bloodiest (Challenge Live) event in the history of ENdori. In one redditor’s words, I “ ...sure picked a hell of a time to go for it.”

I had no choice. This is Megane Ran we’re talking about. <3

I had some idea tbh, because I managed to read a tweet in the middle of the event, that “this was one lit T10″. Apparently we were on track to beat the previous record-holder, which was Sayo’s Umbrella event.

I’m... really glad to have been part of this event. I feel so darn proud of myself. >:3

But I couldn’t have done it without the help of the Grand Room. Seriously, I only played in the Grand Room.

Remember this?

I don’t have (competitive) friends. :))) So thank you, all. *bow*

I’d like to thank IRL-friend otearaisu over at twitter for putting up with my excessive score projection updates. XD I have a really detailed excel sheet to check if I was on track or not, and whenever there were developments, I’d always tell him about it, even in the dead of the night. XD

------

Would I ever do this again? Probably not. This was the only event that I knew I really wanted to go for, and I don’t see that changing any time soon. Maybe I’ll get a couple of T100′s in the future, but that’s it. ^^

See you in the lobby~

[thedrowsydoormouse]

@anangelamuse-castiel-spnfam asked and I shall deliver!

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

My boyfriend. He took me to the mall for dinner and shopping after my therapy!

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

Very shy but once you get to know me I’m a ball of chaotic energy!

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

Right now no one.

4. Are you easy to get along with?

I like to think I am.

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

I would say my friend, Penny, but she’d probably be even more drunk than I am! So I think my friend, Daisy, or my boyfriend because they both have a background in medicine and would know what to do!

6. What kind of people are you attracted to? 

Cool people. And people who are unafraid to be nerdy about things they love!

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

I should hope so! Or else something went seriously wrong!

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

I keep mentioning my boyfriend but that’s only because he’s sitting right next to me and just stole a slice of pizza off my plate!

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

Usually no! I’m very pro sex and pro discussing sex so it hopefully becomes less taboo and we can get some proper sex education.

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

My therapist. And I immediately broke the tension with a joke that made her laugh so hard she cried!

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

 “I’m done.” I was waiting for my ride to pick me up from the hair salon!

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

Monster by dodie, My Kinda Lover by Billy Squire, Hallelujah by Pentatonix, Rolling in the Deep by Gretta Van Fleet, Bottom of the River by Delta Rae

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

It depends on the person.

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

Luck yes. Miracles no.

15. What good thing happened this summer?

Technically it happened during summer (even though it happened in September but it was still Summer so it counts) but I met my boyfriend!

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

100% yes! 

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

There has to be. It’d be weird if there wasn’t. It may not be life like we know it but there is some form of life out there.

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

No.

19. Do you like bubble baths?

I only take bubble baths!

20. Do you like your neighbors?

I hardly know enough about them to form an opinion.

21. What are you bad habits?

How much time we got?

22. Where would you like to travel?

I would love to go back to New York and to the Japanese Disney parks!

23. Do you have trust issues?

Yes.

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

Food. Beautiful amazing food!

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

My back. I have two weird scar type things on it that look nasty and I try to hide.

26. What do you do when you wake up?

Check the time an see if I can go back to sleep.

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

Any lighter and I would literally glow and any darker and I wouldn’t be able to pull off the goth look so effortlessly so I’d say I’m pretty happy with my skin!

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

My close friends.

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

Several of them have tried getting back together after we broke up only to find I had already moved on.

30. Do you ever want to get married?

I am married.

31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?

It’s down to about my waist so it’s be weird if I couldn’t pull it into a pony tail! The comfort of it, though, is a whole other issue!

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

Margot Robbie and Brian Dietzen.

33. Spell your name with your chin.

No.

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

*laughs until I’m crying*

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

TV. I need music to survive!

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

All the time.

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

I usually crack a joke.

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

Smart, funny, amazing in bed!

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

They’re pretty much all online!

40. What do you want to do after high school?

I’m already out of high school.

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

Not everyone.

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

I’m distracted, people keep talking over me, or somethings seriously wrong.

43. Do you smile at strangers?

If it’s a kid or an old woman, yes. But never men.

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

Space. The ocean is terrifying.

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

Food. Or having to pee.

46. What are you paranoid about?

A lot of shit! I’m a nervous, panic-y mother fucker!

47. Have you ever been high?

Yes.

48. Have you ever been drunk?

Yes.

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

Yes.

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

Black.

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

Nope! I love myself way too much!

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

Nothing!

53. Favourite makeup brand?

I’ve been wearing a lot of Blackmoon, Milk, and Lime Crime lately.

54. Favourite store?

Total Wines.

55. Favourite blog?

Mine!

56. Favourite colour?

Deep red.

57. Favourite food?

Sushi!

58. Last thing you ate?

I’m currently eating pizza! That is if my boyfriend stops stealing my slices!

59. First thing you ate this morning? 

I actually didn’t get a chace to eat until dinner when I had a BBQ chicken salad.

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

Nope.

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

I was suspended in middle school for writing a burn book.

62. Been arrested? For what?

Nope!

63. Ever been in love?

Yes! 

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

I was a junior in high school and I was talking with one of my friends during Winter Formal and neither of us had ever been kissed so I just said “then kiss me” so she did and we spent the rest of the night making out.

65. Are you hungry right now?

I’m eating right now.

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

Yes.

67. Facebook or Twitter?

Neither.

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

Tumblr.

69. Are you watching tv right now?

I’m listening to music.

70. Names of your bestfriends?

I have too many to list. I’d literally be here all night.

71. Craving something? What?

Pumpkin spice.

72. What colour are your towels?

I have a ton of towels and none of them match because I’m a human dumpster fire.

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

As many as possible.

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

Yes.

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

I have no clue.

75. Favourite animal?

Cats.

76. What colour is your underwear?

Black.

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

Chocolate.

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

Dublin Mudslide from Ben & Jerry’s.

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

Hot Pink.

80. What colour pants?

Teal.

81. Favourite tv show?

I can’t pick just one!

82. Favourite movie?

See above!

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

The first one!

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

Mean Girls!

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

Janice Ian!

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

Bruce!

87. First person you talked to today?

My mom.

88. Last person you talked to today?

Not sure yet.

89. Name a person you hate?

Trump.

90. Name a person you love?

My boyfriend.

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

See #89. 92. In a fight with someone?

Usually.

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

I lost count.

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

I love being comfy.

95. Last movie you watched?

Spaceballs.

96. Favourite actress?

Margot Robbie.

97. Favourite actor?

Does John Mullaney count.

98. Do you tan a lot?

Never.

99. Have any pets?

A chubby puppy named Zorro!

100. How are you feeling?

Pretty good!

101. Do you type fast?

Sometimes, depending on how long my nails are.

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

Yes and no.

103. Can you spell well?

Sort of.

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

Not really.

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

No.

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

Yes.

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

Yes.

108. What should you be doing?

Nothing.

109. Is something irritating you right now?How long this is taking.

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

Yes.

111. Do you have trust issues?

You’ve already asked this.

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

My friend, Sabrina.

113. What was your childhood nickname?

I hate them so I’m not putting them.

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

Yes.

115. Do you play the Wii?

Not anymore.

116. Are you listening to music right now?

Yes.

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

Yes.

118. Do you like Chinese food?

Yes.

119. Favourite book?

I don’t really read that much anymore.

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

No.

121. Are you mean?

I can be.

122. Is cheating ever okay?

Only if you really didn’t have time to study and you don’t get caught. (Hint: hide the cheat sheet between you’re thighs or up your skirt so that way if you do get caught you can pin it on the teacher being a perv.)

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

I’ve never owned any so I have no clue.

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Yes.

125. Do you believe in true love?

Yes.

126. Are you currently bored?

Yes.

127. What makes you happy?

Food.

128. Would you change your name?

Yes.

129. What your zodiac sign?

Sagittarius.

130. Do you like subway?

No.

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

I mean i hope they like me or else my marriage is about to get very awkward!

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

You asked this one already.

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

Tell me again about how it hurts Being awfully loud for an introvert 

  134. Can you count to one million?

I’ve never tried nor had the time to try.

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

It’s my dad’s signature.

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

Open just a crack.

137. How tall are you?

6′

138. Curly or Straight hair?

Mine is curly and I prefer curls.

139. Brunette or Blonde?

It depends on the person.

140. Summer or Winter?

Winter.

141. Night or Day?

Night.

142. Favourite month?

October.

143. Are you a vegetarian?

No but almost.

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

Milk.

145. Tea or Coffee?

Tea.

146. Was today a good day?

Yes.

147. Mars or Snickers?

Neither.

148. What’s your favourite quote?

“Fuck it.” - Me 149. Do you believe in ghosts?

This is the 3rd repeat question.

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

The only book I have near me is super tiny and doesn’t have 42 pages.

[thechaoticwonderland]

I finally have time to write, damn it! I have been MIA for the longest time (and Twitter has been basically my place for word vomit) but I swear I have been trying to write something here -- as proven by my numerous drafted posts. LOL. 😓

If you’ve been following me on Twitter or Instagram, I TURNED TWENTY FOUR a few months back. Yup, I have officially changed my profile every where to 24. I still can’t believe I am THAT old but meh. 

I celebrated my birthday walking dogs and getting drunk around Sheung Wan and Central Hongkong with my boyfriend -- super low key but probably one of the best birthday celebrations ever! 💜 But I’d probably save a different post for that -- WHEN I FIND THE TIME AND ENERGY TO DO SO. (Possibly never, but let’s see lol)

And since I am T W E N T Y F O U R (ack!), I have decided to come up with a blog post on 24 life realizations I have at 24 - some are realizations I’ve had leading up to my 24th but you get my point. 😂

1. Love comes when you least expect it - cliché, I know. But I met my boyfriend at this random birthday party I gate-crashed AKA his 30th birthday. 😁 Long story short, we’ve been going out for over a year now. We both weren’t looking for anything then since he just got out of a toxic relationship, and I was casually going out with random people. But here we are. 😜

2. No need to rush things, do things at your own pace - I started my Masters over 2 years ago, and you’ve guessed it, most of my batch mates have their Masters degree already. 🙆🏾 At some point, I wanted to study full-time cos I’ve gotten envious of my friends. But since my parents are still (yep, I know. Shame on me) paying for my tuition fee, I don’t want to burden them with allowance expenses + my living expenses (If you’re new here, I actually live alone lol) so I need to keep my job. Now I’m 1 subject away from defending my paper! I’m almost there! And it’s actually not bad. 🤗

3. Don’t live beyond your means - Ahh, my dad’s favorite life lesson. I never thought about it then since I was living under my parents’ support, but now that I live alone I have to make ends meet month on month. In layman’s terms IF YOU CAN’T AFFORD IT, JUST DON’T. 

4. Don’t put your eggs in one basket - I know I am not the best person to be all preachy about money (cos I am bad at handling my own finances, but I try) but I have 3 savings accounts in different banks. It comes in handy when one bank fucks shit up (like goes on a nationwide shut down *cough BPI*, or one that just eats up your card and your money from time to time *cough BDO*). 

5. Your past doesn’t define you or how you’d succeed in the future - Another cliché saying, but I swear you get to realize why people say it often. I’ve done so much shit when I was younger but believe me when I say such experiences will help you realize stuff later on. After all, we learn from our mistakes and such mistakes will push us to be better people tomorrow. 

6. Your choices in life are your own, don’t let people tell you otherwise - You will never share the exact same beliefs with everyone, I’m sure about that. Just do you and brush off other opinions, they don’t matter - believe me. 

7. Keep your circle close and small - Your real friends genuinely care, the others are just curious. Be cautious.

8. Always be kind - And this applies to everyone: guards, maids, janitors, etc. Believe me, if you’re nice to everyone, it’s easier to ask for favors. 😜

9. Travel alone - You should try this at least once in your life, me thinks. It gave me a sense of liberty and independence! I did this when I was trying to mend my cracked heart - and I came back to Manila feeling all refreshed and happy. I guess I learned that I don’t need a man to survive! HAHA! 😂

10. Don’t complain, do something about it - Ranting is fine, human nature. But if you will just sit down and whine when something could actually be done, then maybe you should rethink your life choices honey. Instead of wasting your time and energy complaining, why don’t you stop and think? Things and answers won’t always be served to you on a silver platter, FIND WAYS. 😊

11. Don’t forget to remove your make up at the end of the day - PLEASE. Do yourself a favor and let your face breathe! 😛 

12. ALWAYS MOISTURIZE AND PUT SPF - *i-capslock mo para intense!!!* I couldn’t stress this enough. I actually keep various moisturizers depending on the weather, I have intensive moisturizers for when I travel and light ones for the Philippine heat. Just please, never skip it! 

13. One at a time - My boyfriend would always tell me this when I’m stressing over work, school, among other things. It helps, actually. Stop, arrange your thoughts, and do things one at a time. 

12. Treat yourself - Now before you go crazy and tell me that this is a bad thing, I didn’t say you have to buy that expensive bag you’ve been eyeing on for so long because “I DESERVE IT”. Going back to point number 3, if you can’t afford it - IT’S A NO. It can be as simple as “I did a great job today, I deserve good coffee - not my usual pantry coffee”, which is my usual way of treating myself. If you can afford to buy that expensive bag to treat yourself, BY ALL MEANS DO IT. But always remember POINT NUMBER 3!  

13. Family will always come first - Ah, this is one of the many things I realized growing up. Of course I was super excited to grow up so I can go out with my friends whenever I wanted to before. But when I moved out, I always look forward to weekends so I can come home to my family. What a baby, I know right?  

14. Let go and let God - I am not the most religious person in the world, heck I barely even hear mass (I’m busy, but that’s not an excuse I’m sorry). But I really believe in greater power from above. I always find myself in hopeless situations, where I find my shitty ass crying myself to bed on most nights (add that I also live alone so imagine how bad it must be lol). But I usually find myself just getting through the worst days with little miracles. And I always thank God for that. 

15. If you feel so happy with the wrong person, image how happy you’d be with the right one? - Eep, another cliché saying c/o me lol. But seriously, I thought I couldn’t be happy anymore when I once got my heart broken HAHAHA. Cut to mid-last year, I’m extremely happy -- waaay happier than before. Not saying I’m already with the person for me, though I really do hope so (HAHAHA yuck cheese) but I’m happier than before and I’m sure the person I’m with is a better person amongst all the guys I went out with before.

16. Take long walks. - I enjoy this so much especially abroad. I went on a birthday trip in Hong Kong and I spent 70% of the time walking - thinking and reflecting. 😅 I think long peaceful walks are good for everyone’s sanity.

17. Cut off toxic people. -  Not everyone you lose is a loss. If they aren’t doing you good, what’s the use of keeping them? 

18. Life is what you make it. - If you want something to happen, the first step starts with you. 😅 If you don’t take the first step, nothing will happen. SERIOUSLY. Everything doesn’t happen by chance!!!!! 

19. You don’t have to have a reaction on everything. - I believe there are things better left unsaid. I know a lot of people would disagree. But I still think the saying “If you have nothing nice to say, just zip it” is still superior. Lol.

20. Work isn’t everything. - I recently had to stop working for a week and a half due to some health concerns. It sucked balls. But I came to realize work isn’t everything -- YOUR HEALTH (mental health included) IS WAY MORE IMPORTANT.

21. Quite connected to the bullet prior, Work can wait. - I have learned to keep work within working hours. Remember, work will always come and it will never be done. Know what’s most important and prioritize! That’s the key. Whatever’s left can be done tomorrow. You don’t have to spend 12 hours in the office all day and stress out on work, tbh.

22. Choose your battles. - Not everything is worth stressing over. (remember point 19!) 😋

23. Respect begets respect. - Respect opinions, respect people - young and old alike. Sometimes we just have to learn to agree to disagree. 

24. Live life to the fullest. - Another cliché saying, but honestly you’ll never be as young as you are today. Make mistakes so you will never make the same ones in the future, learn the ropes of life through the decisions you make everyday. Not everything will go our way, that’s for sure, but life is only what we make of it. 

I hope you got to pick something up from my blabbing. To be honest, it took me months to finish this list since I barely have time in my hands. Lol. 😬 

I missed you, Tumblr! ✨  

[quiznakchronicle]

Fandom event etiquette

Suggestions for both organizers and participants for a smooth and fun experience

Events are some of the most fun things in fandom. They bring people together for a common project, foster a great sense of community, and produce lots of amazing content for the fandom. As long as they’re run responsibly. As people who are quite active in the fandom events scene for the Voltron fandom a few things have been brought to our attention recently and we’d like to address them. Sheer event volume, poor management, and disorganized events are starting to turn people off from signing up/participating, and it’s really upsetting to see these things that are supposed to be fun turning into sources of stress and anxiety instead

Please know that this isn’t about pointing fingers at any single event or individual, rather this is advice we’d like to share based on our experience as both event organizers and participants. We welcome comments and further discussion, but if you’d like to add to this post please don’t namedrop any people or events. Don’t turn this post into a call-out, that’s not what it’s about. Finally, this post is written specifically about the Voltron fandom, but I’m sure it could apply to pretty much any fandom, so anyone who finds it useful feel free to reblog!

- @ace-pidge​ and @bosstoaster​

Organizers

Check the state of the fandom before starting a new event. This is absolutely crucial. For the Voltron fandom, I maintain an entire set of calendars with the schedules of all ongoing and upcoming events, please take advantage of it. Your idea is probably super cool! But if there are already a couple dozen other projects going on it may be wise to hold off on it. If you’re worried about someone else coming along and stealing your idea, you can make a blog/post to signal your intent to run your event in the future, and wait a while for things to calm down a bit before actually running it. I’ve been getting many messages from people saying they feel burnt out or overwhelmed with the sheer number of events, and that’s not a situation anyone wants. [Edit (14/09): After hearing the thoughts of a Zine mod on this topic I now find this next statement unfair and in poor taste, as it lowkey implies (falsely) that Zine mods don’t know what they’re doing. I’ll leave my original comments in for posterity, but let it be known that really at this point my issue with Zines is more instances of lackluster management rather than Zine volume in itself. This is especially worrying for Zines, because actual money is involved. The market has been flooded with Zines over the summer, which results in fewer people buying them overall. Fandom people aren’t made of money, and it’s important to consider this when planning a Zine]     

Make sure you’re able to commit entirely to the project, both time-wise and mentally/physically. Fandom events are BIG JOBS, especially the ones that span several months like Big Bangs and Zines. But even smaller events like Weeks or Exchanges require a certain amount of work put into them. That’s months of advertising, of making posts, of answering questions, of sorting people out and keeping tabs on them, of troubleshooting. Look at your school/work situation not just in the near future but also several months down the line: will you have the time to dedicate to this. Look at why you’re doing this event: are you just doing it because you want in on the fun. Look at your mental/physical health situation: will you have the capacity to see this through. If you know that given your history there’s a possibility something might happen that will prevent you from keeping on top of the project (like a depressive episode or a hospitalization) make sure to account for that (for example bring on a team of mods who will be able to carry on without you should you need to step back for a while)       

Make sure your fellow mods are up to the task. Smaller events can be comfortably run by a single person, but bigger events like Zines and Big Bangs really should be run by at least 2 people, if not a team of 3-5*. This will ensure the workload is shared and there’s less chance of burning out before the project reaches completion. And they must all be people who are equally invested in the project. Having 1 very enthusiastic mod and 2 wishy-washy tag-along mods is a recipe for a project to fall apart     

If your friend is asking you to co-mod an event with them and you’re not sure you can/want to commit to it, say no! Don’t feel like you have to accept just because it’s your friend asking. It’s better to be upfront and honest than to start something you won’t be able to finish

The above goes DOUBLE if you plan to run more than 1 event at a time. I’m not here to say you can’t run more than 1 event at the same time, but if you plan to do that you better make EXTRA sure you have the time and resources to commit to all of them

Get advice from someone who has run this kind of event in the past, especially if it’s your first time as an organizer. Talking to someone who has gone through this already will likely prove invaluable for running a smooth event and dealing with problems that may arise. Look through the notes on this post if you need to find someone to contact     

Communication is key, be transparent! It is extremely important to stay in contact with your participants. This will both remind them that the event is ongoing (you’d be surprised how often people sign up for something then forget about it entirely) and show that you are responsible and on top of things. Also, don’t forget about your public page. With most events having dedicated Discord servers these days, it’s easy to forget about updating the event blog/Twitter page. Putting up a post every now and then to update the public on the event’s progress lets people know it’s not dead and keeps their interest up while your participants work behind the scenes

Stay on schedule, and if you can’t, let people know. Be clear and upfront about the event’s timeline and the different milestones, and if you can’t keep to the schedule say so. People will generally be very understanding. If you’re dealing with a Real Life situation, or if there are circumstances outside your control like printing/manufacturing delays on a Zine, tell your participants and your audience. This will avoid people getting disgruntled and frustrated and bitter because they feel left in the dark     

If for whatever reason you can no longer see the project through, tell people instead of just disappearing off the face of the Earth. It’s really upsetting from a participant’s perspective to be left with no news for weeks or months on end without a clue what happened to the event. Sometimes things come up or stuff happens, it’s understandable, but if that’s the case you need to let people know. It may be very upsetting to make that post, but trust me, people will appreciate the knowing     

Be VERY CAREFUL if you’re going to be handling money (as with Zines for example). Handling people’s money is a huge responsibility. If you’re going to be taking money you have to make sure you’re able to deliver on what you promised. The absolute worst time for a project to stall out is after preorders and before products are shipped out. If your project stalls at this stage and you don’t keep your buyers appraised of the situation you may get accused of scamming people or people may start demanding refunds, which is a mess no one wants to deal with     

Don’t air your dirty laundry publicly. We get it, sometimes running an event is frustrating. Participants drop out, or disappear and can’t be contacted, or butt heads with you or each other. Don’t complain about it anywhere public; know that stuff you say will reflect on you as an organizer as well as on your event. Vent to friends or on private accounts if you must, but you want to appear professional and in control in public. If you appear messy, your event will also appear messy, and it may make people think twice about staying in it or participating in stuff you do in the future 

Related: Try and keep your tone upbeat and positive and professional in your promo posts and answers to questions, even if you’re answering the same question for the umpteenth time. Giving off a frustrated or negative vibe may turn people off your event    

 If you’re a minor who wants to run an event make sure it’s appropriate for your age. Honestly, kudos to you if you’re 15-17 and running (or helping to run) an event, it’s great that you’re so involved! But for the love of all things good don’t get involved in an event where NSFW content is likely to appear. No amount of “I’m mature enough” or “I act older” constitutes a valid excuse, and you’re putting your (adult) participants in a very dangerous situation if you do that. ESPECIALLY if they don’t know you’re underage

*This isn’t to say you can’t run a bigger event if you’re alone, because people can and have done it and quite successfully at that. But in that case you must be absolutely all in

Participants

When you sign up for something, take the commitment seriously. Only sign up for things you know you’ll have the time/energy to deliver on, and do your best to do it

Stay on task. Keep to the schedule on your own, don’t make the organizers run after you

If you need an extension, ask for it, and don’t wait for the last minute. Sometimes you just need those few extra days or that week to complete your piece. Very often organizers will be understanding if you approach them asking for an extension, but don’t wait till the deadline to do so. Ask for the extension the moment you realize you’ll need extra time. Also ask even if you’re not 100% sure you’ll need it. Better to get the extension but still hand your stuff in on time than to show up the day of the deadline with an incomplete work and asking for more time. In the event that the organizers can’t give you an extension, either sort yourself out to have your stuff done on time or drop out of the event

If you need to drop out, do it sooner rather than later. Sometimes things come up, or your muse goes on vacation, or something else happens that’ll make you unable to participate. That’s ok! It happens to everyone. But in that case, tell the organizers ASAP so they can readjust their plans around you. Don’t just disappear off the face of the Earth without letting them know what your status is

Pace yourself. I know it’s tempting to sign up for everything. But the more you’re in the more strain you put on yourself, and the more likely you are to cause a domino effect if something goes wrong

Don’t air your dirty laundry publicly. If you have an issue with another participant or the organizer(s), or the way the event is being managed, or whatever else, take it up privately first. If it can’t be resolved, maybe just quietly drop out of the event and go on your way 

[lovewavesxx]

 Love Waves – EP 3 – Bang My Line

Click here to read Love Waves - Introduction

“Bang My Line when you need me. -E xx.”

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/user/ericajones10/playlist/5XIj8jyU4qNzlMDc7qhRTY

Apple Music: https://itunes.apple.com/us/playlist/love-waves-ep-3-bang-my-line/idpl.u-4Jomj79TjBX3Rv

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwEZgDEorNRQnfRSK0IEgEeHKC8aF9r6w

1. Mac Miller – Missed Calls

2. blackbear – Paragraphs

3. Aly & AJ – Take Me

4. Party Favor & NJOMZA – Caskets (feat. FKi 1st)

5. Xuitcasecity – Bout You

6. Toro y Moi – Girl Like You

7. Lorde – 400 Lux

8. SZA – The Weekend

9. G-Eazy – These Things Happen

10. Drake & Future – Diamonds Dancing

11. Marty Grimes – Wishin’

12. Mila J – Transform U

13. Jeremih – Worthy (feat. Jhene Aiko)

14. KYLE – Remember Me? (feat. Chance the Rapper)

15. ELHAE – Bang Your Line (feat. Ty Dolla $ign)

16. Arizona Zervas – Don’t Hit My Line

17. Prince Fox - Just Call (feat. Bella Thorne)

18. H.E.R. – Losing

19. Paramore – Interlude: Moving On

Click here for my twitter @ericajones1010

Click here to leave a comment or say something idk :)

This playlist is one that I sometimes listen to while I’m in the gym. Please know that this week’s intention was to be a little uplifting of your mood and to maybe make you dance some. Stories are still told, but I feel like with most of the actual music it makes you feel like there is hope for a happiness that currently doesn’t exist where you are. The music itself is kind of a distraction. The flow is intended to make you feel happy for a while and then bring you right back to where your sadness is lying. Why? Messed up, right? Because that’s the inconsistency I think a lot of us feel sometimes. For me especially I can be feeling like I’m on Cloud 9 and all it takes is a couple things, a text, or something so small to just knock me right back into my sad zone because my head sucks and likes to do that. I always bounce back, but I never fully ride happy ALL the time. I don’t know of many people who do. I know of people who are able to hide their crazy better than me, but we all feel sad sometimes. My advice is just to fight your hardest to feel at peace.

If you want hella feels listen to EP 1. That is still my favorite episode. EP 5 is also one of my favorites, but you’ll just have to wait for it! Below are a few tidbits about some of the songs in this week’s playlist. Other than that the songs and their stories say enough.

My older brother is the person who got me into Mac Miller. This was back in the day when Camelbackmusic.com was a thing. That was my first exposure to hip-hop and rap. Mac’s Blue Slide Park is by far my favorite album of his. I can rap that whole thing. It’s a really good windows down album. In the old 93’ Grand Prix all of my siblings and I have driven, this was always the CD in it. Missed Calls is my favorite Mac song.

Click here to watch the official music video for Missed Calls by Mac Miller

I like blackbear. I like his song Paragraphs. I like that this song fits the playlist theme and flows well with its surrounding tracks. That’s all for this description folks.

Take Me is the newest song Aly & AJ have released. I know what you’re thinking, “Seriously, are you kidding me with this song?” To that I say, “Just give the song a listen.” There are some great 80s pop synths in this song.

NJOMZA will be huge very soon. I’m calling it. Her latest song released is called Caskets. The actual words themselves are kind of inspirational, and the music is very dance-like. I like dancing. :)

Click here to watch the official music video for Caskets by Party Favor & NJOMZA (feat. FKi 1st)

So, I have no idea how to pronounce Xuitcasecity, but I first found their song Bout You when it was still a single and it became part of my comp playlist S3nD Nud3s 3.0. Recently, I found out that the duo has released an album/EP titled INDXGO that has a bunch of great songs on it.

Toro y Moi is just an artist I accidentally stumbled upon while listening to re releases one day. The album Boo Boo has several decent songs towards the end that you may enjoy just as I do.

SZA, I love you.

Ay sometimes, These Things Happen. Deal with it.

Click here to watch the official music video for These Things Happen by G-Eazy

Diamonds Dancing makes me feel like I’m in a fancy club dressed up, looking hawt, and dancing around, doing my own thang.

Wishin’ has been my favorite Marty Grimes song for that past four-ish weeks so I had to put it in a playlist. Marty just released a music video for this song too!

Click here to watch the official music video for Wishin’ by Marty Grimes

If I recall correctly, Remember Me? by KYLE is a song that my friend Maxi showed me late one night while we were distracted from doing homework in Hammond Hall. Lately, I’ve been listening to Smyle, which is the album the song comes from. The song talks about his father and then a female.

My favorite lyrics are “I remember when I used to laugh out loud / Nowadays I only LOL / Through text cause I don’t wanna talk / Don’t touch me I want feel / Rewrote this verse a couple times / First time I kept it way too real.

Click here to watch an unofficial music video of Remember Me? by KYLE (feat. Chance the Rapper)

I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of ELHAE, but I highly highly recommend you listen to both of his albums titled All Have Fallen and AURA II.

Arizona Zervas is an artist another person told me about. I think the first song I listened to by that artist was Cold. Don’t Hit My Line suites this playlist best though.

I was instantly was obsessed with Just Call by Prince Fox feat. Bella Thorne when I heard it on release night. The music video is really interesting too.

Click here to watch the official music video for Just Call by Prince Fox feat. Bella Thorne

H.E.R. is an artist who I think will be huge one day. She’s released two EPs that I know of, and I prefer H.E.R., Vol. 1 much more than her second one. I seriously wish there was a music video for this song, but there isn’t. In my head, I see a lot of rain, headlights, city lights, and girl sitting in her NYC apartment while looking out the window at a great view, and cuts to past scenes of when her and her lover were actually happy. (This is just a brief description of what my head sees when certain music plays.)

Interlude: Moving On by Paramore was placed at the end of this playlist because you can either keep listening to the playlist over and over and it does act as a brief, “I’m moving on from you,” before the music goes right back to the ups and downs of a dysfunctional love, or you can do what the song says and just move on.

Thank you for your time and energy if you’ve scrolled this far, listened to the playlist, or read any of my mumbo jumbo. I appreciate you.

Click here for my twitter @ericajones1010

Click here to leave a comment or say something idk :)

Orrr you can just comment on this or just get a hold of me some other way k bye. <3

Love,

-E xx.

[universetwo]

My Experience at #BeautifulinNY + Tips

So let me start with the fact that this was my very first time to go on a k-pop concert and I was so nervous, hard to explain why. I tried to read people’s experiences from previous concerts, but that didn’t calm my nervousness. 

{long post ahead}

Unfortunately, I do not own a lightstick, so that made me a little bit sad. I could have pre-ordered it (to pick it up at the venue) or buy it there because they set up a table for merch. But I found it kinda expensive for $55 so for this time I gave up on it. One thing to note, it’s better if you order it before the concert (which I wanted to but was sold out on their site) because everything is more expensive at the venue. Like I legit bought a pack of stickers for $25 which was a lot, I know, but that was the only thing left by the end of the concert and I didn’t want to walk out without an official merch. (the fangirl was strong in me post concert)

Anyway, back to the beginning.

I left work at 1 pm and when I got home I got ready and waited for my mom to come home from work. I started to panic about not getting there on time so I decided to watch Monsta X Ray’s new ep while eating ramen, only for Wonho lol While I was watching them on my screen, it was still hard to process in my mind that I will see these guys in a few hours perform right in front of my own naked eyes. 

I saw on Twitter that people were already lining up by the venue and I was seriously freaking out. Although my ticket was for P3-P5 (somewhere in the back lol) and I knew I have an exact seat and everything, I was still worried that I’m going to miss something.

So it was almost 6 pm when we left the house and got on the D train (which I hate because it always fucks me up). We got off by Bryant Park/42nd st around 6:45-ish and went to Playstation Theatre at Times Square. There were so many people so I didn’t see at first where the line was for the venue. But then by the entrance, I saw some people standing there but the security came and put us in the right direction for the line. Good thing to know, Playstation Theatre is located on 44th st and 7th ave and the security told us to go to 45th street and 8th ave. So we followed the line and looked for the end. BUT WHERE WAS THE END??? like legit almost at the other side of the whole block, like I don’t even know how to explain it but it was damn long. And people were still lining up after us so it became even longer.

We had to wait for one and a half hour to get into the venue and by then it was way past 8 pm, which was supposedly the starting time of the show. I had no idea why it was delayed, why the line went so slowly, and I don’t think anyone around me knew it. But later on twitter, I read fans saying that a fan got injured in the line and that’s why. Which is actually a nice thing that they took care of the fan and didn’t ignore the injury. I didn’t mind standing in line for long because at least I got the chance to buy a fanmade cute Kihyun cut out that I could hang on my neck. I would have bought Jooheon’s too but it was all gone TT but I love that thingy so much like I hung it up on my neck even for breakfast the next day. And I also got a banner for free, which was handed out to everyone and it said “I’ll protect you, so you can bloom more beautifully” in English and in Korean (Beautiful lyrics) and I loved how the directions were on the back, like when do we need to hold it up and in English, Spanish, French, and Korean. We held up ours at 5:14 (Last Page), the very last song.

So fast forward to when we finally got into the venue, it wasn’t actually long after that they came out and boy the screams were so loud but of course I joined in. (I had no voice by the end and even now while writing this my throat still hurts). The setlist was pretty much the same as in Chicago so I won’t be going over that.

After Hero ended they greeted us and they had an “official” translator who was pretty quick with translating hopefully everything that they said. I have to just say I can’t get enough of Changkyun’s English, I really love it lol 

They interacted a lot with the crowd like they were always like ‘are you having fun’, ‘did you like what we just did?’ and I think those were really good for hyping up the crowd. They also did like small comedy bits like who is the most romantic and they showed, sang something to prove their romantic sides. They also sang snippets from songs that have New York in it like Kihyun sang a bit from Empire State of Mind. Hyunwoo from English Man in New York. Also Wonho mentioned that Hyunwoo is a romantic person because he buys his friends in Korea all different types of presents. I got to experience Jooheon’s and Kihyun’s beatboxing lol Jooheon also sang from GD’s Untitled. 

They talked SO much about Hyungwon and I really loved that. At the beginning and at the end they mentioned him too, and Wonho after they did their special stages and how he hoped he could fill in for Hyungwon. It made me feel really warm especially as I saw how many times they left a special space out for Hyungwon and sometimes acted as if he was there too.

The performances were SO L I T, they were dancing so well and so powerfully and the energy was no joke. But then they were also able to slow it down and make the crowd melt with songs like Ex Girl, Honestly, I’ll Be There, and Sweetheart. I like how one time Changkyun was like we gonna slow down to mid tempo and they literally sang their slowest song, Broken Heart. And then Kihyun’s iconic mom moment to Changkyun with ‘There is something on your face’ and started to get something off from his face. And Kihyun wiped the sweat off from Wonho (K I H O) They also mentioned like twice for the pit to take a few steps back for safety. That’s how Hyunwoo’s ‘please safety’ was born. (did I mention how much I started to love Hyunwoo after the show? Like literally he was one of the highlights of the concert.)

I also loved their outfits, especially when they went for this mint theme. And then for the rocker versions of songs, like there is nothing better than rocker!kihyun and his leather jacket. 

Their special stages were no joke. When Hyunwoo, Minhyuk, and Changkyun performed 24k Magic, the whole crowd was excited because it’s everyone’s fave song don’t lie. Wonho performing From 0 with their dancer was great, but I missed Hyungwon. Especially that ionic movement in the dance was weird with the dancer and not with Hyungwon lol but it was still great and Wonho put his heart into fully. 

But my favorite was definitely Mirror by Jooheon and Kihyun. When Jooheon was having sort of his highest point in the rap parts, I legit got goosebumps. He is such an amazing rapper, I was truly speechless. But then Kihyun’s powerful voice added even more to it, and that performance really left me amazed. I knew I have the right biases. THESE TWO LOVES OF MY LIFE DESTROYED ME. 

They also had some problem with moving the chair like lol one problem was that they were sitting on it (during the slower songs) so no surprise but I think it also got stuck in something. Which reminds me of… WHY STUCK WASN'T ON THE SETLIST? It’s like legit one of my biggest faves from them, but they performed Blind and it was sexy and I was close to passing out. 

Their vcrs were cute and creative. First they had one before the unit performances where they talked about what they prepared. I couldn’t see the screen well but there were English subtitles and I could kind of read it, so that was helpful. They were being dorky and I love nothing more than that haha. The other one was a bit more emotional because they were showing a mature side of them and a whole story. I don’t remember exactly how it all went down, I definitely have to watch it again. But it was emotional, that’s for sure, and it showed how important it is for them to be together and stick with each other.  

Also Wonho the dear clumsy one accidentally spilled his candies from the basket to the stage and he was throwing them to fans from the floor. Jooheon was also there picking all up probably until the very last one was thrown to a fan, and he even bent down for them while singing his part in Sweetheart. One thing is that his voice was stable lol but even my mom mentioned it that how considerate of him was to not let them go to waste and make sure fans can have them. (side note, after Hyunwoo and Wonho, my mom’s new fave, she even said almost #1, became Jooheon lol we are in the same boat now)  

It also took them forever to come back for the encore. I thought they are going to leave us so we had to chant Monsta X two times and we even started to chant Hyungwon :’) but then they finally came back and it was better waiting for longer because it was more precious to see them again. It took them longer because they changed into another outfit. And then they performed Fighter (L I T) and 5:14 (Last Page) (S A D). It took them so long to say goodbye because they shared their thoughts again, we had a picture taken, and then they bowed like four times from four different directions (while dragging each other hand by hand from one side of the stage to the other) Even my mom said that it looked as it was hard for them to say goodbye. Trust me, I didn’t want to say goodbye either. 2 hours was enough and I was exhausted, yet it still feels like it went by so fast.

But I happened to fall in love with them once again. They are so humble, down to earth, but then SO SO SOOO talented and powerful and energetic and funny and know how to hype up the crowd. I’m so happy that they were my first group for my kpop concert experience because I wasn’t disappointed at all. And I love them so much pls give more love and appreciation to Monsta X, they deserve the world. 

Here are some concert tips:

it’s okay if you don’t own a lightstick and can’t afford to buy merch, you are still a true fan ^^

don’t worry if you can’t get to the venue early, if you are not in the pit then it doesn’t matter when you enter the venue, just try to be there at least around the time when the doors open and have time for yourself to use the bathroom, eat, and look through the merch they have

BUT if you are in a big city and you rely on public transportation then it’s good to get out of your house early because you never know when they will get into a problem, same with cars and traffic

if you have time, prepare with the fan chants because it always makes it better for the crowd and for the idols

try to know more info about fan projects and freebies or even fan made merch for a couple of dollars — it’s always good to be up to date and to support fellow fans, I told my mom I would rather buy from a fan a few handmade cutesy stuff while supporting that fan than buying a bunch of expensive merch at the venue, I mean it’s everyone’s different opinion but I always have the chance to support the boys, but not always have the chance to support fans

wear something comfortable on foot and prepare for standing up for the whole concert even if you have a seat (i was standing the whole time too)

bring a smaller bag, preferably not a big backpack, a small one is fine

prepare to be either very cold or very hot: like when I went to see 5SOS I was feeling cold in MSG but in Playstation Theatre there was legit no AC (idk how the boys could handle it TT) and I was burning up

if you have a shitty android like me and not an iPhone with a great camera, that’s okay if you record at least their voices are still good on the recording especially if you catch the ment part, otherwise songs with heavy bass and techno sound won’t be that good

a lot of people say this but it’s true: try to enjoy the concert and not record the whole thing — it won’t be that good anyway on your phone as if you see it with your own eyes, that’s why I decided for some of my fave songs to record maybe like 30 seconds or something and then I put my phone away and for the ment I really wanted to record their talk but even then I was just holding my phone but not really focusing on the stage through it

try to socialize (this is a big tip for myself too), concerts are great to befriend people with the same interest and likes as you, I did talk to some people but it’s not like I befriended them because I’m a social flopp and my mom was there with me too so I was just talking to her

if you have no idea about kpop concerts, like me, then know that hi-touch is after the show (at least that’s how it was) and the security makes everyone leave who doesn’t have a wrist band for the event, but they still let you take a few pics of the venue and of the stage, just hurry up because if it takes more time for them to push people out then the hi-touch is delayed and it’s bad for the fans and for the boys too

Specifically for Playstation Theatre:

The venue is small so be ready to feel a little crowded

but the good thing is that even if the stage is far (if you have a seat like in P5) it’s not as far as in a stadium

if you are in P5, don’t expect to see the screen, Playstation Theatre has a couple of small TVs hung up above people and they are just in the way to see the screen

I was legit so mad I wanted to tear all of them out from the ceiling like you think they might show them on those small TVs too but NOPE I guess they never thought about advanced technology and multi screening

There is a place for you to give your coats in

the restroom is pretty lol it kind of reminded me of Harry Potter because all the sinks are placed in the middle of the room and I felt like we can get down to the  Chamber of Secrets in New York, besides they also blasted Shine Forever (when they give you nice background music for peeing lmao)

So that’s it from my part, I hope I could cover everything important but even if I was there I couldn’t process everything because it was so fast and I was so happy and living in the moment. I’m definitely going to watch back some videos and be nostalgic about it lol I’m also waiting for the HQ version of THIS pic which was taken there by wonderful fansite-nim, I thank you with my life

If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to message me or send me an ask ^^

btw, at the beginning of the concert while we were lining up on the street, a random old lady asked us if it’s worth lining up for this long for the concert and hell yeah it was so I think that once in your life you deserve to see your faves and to not care about how much it costs. It was great for not thinking about life’s problems for two hours and just to enjoy the moment. So please be kind to yourselves. 

[major-final-project]

Viral videos

https://arxiv.org/pdf/1503.04723.pdf

https://biteable.com/blog/tips/how-to-make-a-video-go-viral/

https://www.jeffbullas.com/10-social-media-personas-understanding-personality-and-communication/

Social Media Personas: 

and their communicative habits, you can act accordingly. Here are some tips how to identify and connect to the basic characters in social media.

#1. The Shy

These people usually do not start a conversation, but wait until someone talks to them. In Social Media shyness is a problem, as you are fairly invisible if you do not take part in any conversation. The shy do not usually get in contact on their own account. To gain anything, they have to provide some reason for other people to notice them and to get in touch.

In offline networking, you can at least see the shy ones lurking in a corner (or so their stereotype would suggest). In online life, these people are harder to find. If they do not publish or communicate, the only chance you have got is stumbling across their profile. Hopefully, some of the keywords in these people’s resumes will match your search.

Takeaway: Be open to communication with The Shy, but do not waste energy to hunt them down. They will learn to come to you (and others) if they want to survive in social media.

#2. The Politician

The Politician jumps on every opportunity to communicate and interact. He or she comments on everything, to everyone, and gets in the mix in various heated and/or popular discussions – all while keeping his or her goals in mind. The Politician publishes great content, with the mission to engage and convert.

In social media, the politician has a large stage and seeks to reap the benefits from his or her widespread audience.

Takeaway: You will have an easy time finding the politician and connecting to him or her, as communication is the means to his or her survival. Followers of the politician should be aware – the author has a purpose and has produced content accordingly. You might have a harder time getting the attention of the ever-active Politician or nailing them to a deal, so make sure he or she sees the advantage in your offer to interact.

#3. The Self-Promoter

The Self-Promoter takes part in social media communication and discussions solely with his or her own purpose in mind. Unlike The Politician, the Self-Promoter is not looking to have a dialogue; he or she is looking for a microphone. The Self-Promoter usually begins “conversations” with information about his products or services. After seconds usually gets his pitch out and asks you to buy something. No matter what the original discussion was about, the second sentence in his answer will always be about his own products or services.

Takeaway: The Self-Promoter will (most often) find you. The problem may be to avoid their incessant reminders or to get any useful information from them. If you want to interact with The Self-Promoter, be ready to listen and buy (as you will have a hard time being heard). Be careful not to write them off too quickly – The Self-Promoter might just promote something that is useful to you.

#4. The Helpful

The Helpful is always there to provide strong answers and positive feedback. They provide insightful information in their content, for which reason they are nice follow on Twitter. You will probably gain much knowledge and many useful links from their tweets. Nice to connect to, The Helpful is always willing to step in with answers and recommendations.

Takeaway: The Helpful is the ideal social media connection. You gain a lot from their knowledge and willingness to share. If you ever need their services, you will probably go to them with a good feeling and trust in their willingness to serve you without the fear of being used. If you have something to offer, the helpful will probably even be willing to help you get relevant connections interested in your service.

#5. The Nagger

No matter what you post, The Nagger will find a way to point out your flaw (“It’s: too long, too basic, the wrong forum, the wrong time of day, too much information, too little information, I read about that yesterday, you posted somewhere else, too.”) From The Nagger, you can expect any kind of creative, negative comment without any real substance.

Takeaway: You will probably not seriously connect or engage in business with The Nagger. The Nagger is not an ideal business partner, as they will detect small problems with: your products, your services, your behavior, your money, your country – or whatever else they can find.

#6. The Direct

The Direct has a clear goal in mind: to obtain your contact information. There is little or no small talk with The Direct, as they will ask what you are up to and proceed to tell what they have to offer.

Takeaway: The Direct will target you if they believe they can gain something from your contact information. If you have a product or service that needs explaining, The Direct will (most likely) not listen long enough to engage. Keep your message to The Direct straight, to the point, and practice your pitch.

#7. The Entertainer

The Entertainer uses social media as a stage. Unlike the Self-Promoter or Politician, The Entertainer manages to add enough sympathy and entertainment to attract a following within the community.

Takeaway: Do not regard comments from The Entertainer too seriously; be open to their humor. Understand that while they may be eager to connect, it is not always simple to engage in conversation. Enjoy their feeds, but understand their motivations before business engagement.

#8. The Storyteller

The Storyteller is never shy of a good story: they produce great content, great narratives, and posses a sense of humility and openness Storytellers come in the form of content marketers and everyday users who have the knack for attracting audiences through their storytelling abilities. The Storyteller boasts a lot of ‘likes’ and comments.

Takeaway: Be sure to understand with which type of Storyteller you are engaging. Are they in it for the story itself, or do their stories relate to your business? While The Storyteller may teach you valuable lessons and entertain you, it may be difficult to divert The Storyteller from their own stories and get them to listen to your own.

#9. The Friend

The Friend does not take part in social media with business in his mind. The Friend likes to communicate, talk, share and connect solely for the purpose of social interaction.

Takeaway: If The Friend is actually your friend – let the relationship be. However, if The Friend shows signs that their professional life relates to your business and is the friend of a friend or an acquaintance you discover – see if there is a way to engage on a business level. Once you figure out their professional motivations – and there is a match – working with them could be great fun.

#10. The Comedian

The Comedian is always after the laugh, even though his posts might not always be that funny. The mission of The Comedian is to be witty or inspire humorous interaction, even if they miss the point.

Takeaway: Be prepared to laugh and be entertained (or at least poked), but do not expect much more from them – especially on a professional level.

https://www.visualcapitalist.com/science-making-things-go-viral/

What makes things go viral may be a science: 

You’ve probably come across Buzzfeed’s Tasty videos while scrolling through your Facebook feed. Specifically designed for social media sharing, these videos are short, sweet, informative, feature mouth watering dishes, and tend to go viral consistently. Their success is really paying off and Buzzfeed’s social video offerings now make up about half of their annual revenue.

Viral videos gather traction quickly and are shared multiple times through social media, reaching people who wouldn’t normally see your content. Sometimes, they’re picked up by larger publications and syndicates and keep spreading like wildfire.

Focus on a single message

Simple, clear and succinct content works wonders. This is true when it comes to creating a high conversion landing page or a super shareable blog post and it is definitely true when it comes to creating a would-be viral video. Before you start, define what your video is about and focus on getting that point across as clearly as you can.

Made with Biteable, this video got over 31 million views on Facebook alone! It was quick and easy to make, yet it gave viewers real value despite running for just over a minute. It tackled a single point: the struggle of getting through the hard times, and offers uplifting, actionable advice.

[lovelydeceitff]

Chapter 4

I don’t ever tell you how I really feel, cause I can’t ever find the words to say what I mean… Just a little bit of your heart is all I want

Shay

It’s only been 3 weeks into the semester and sad to say I’m already over it. Well not completely, I guess you can say I’m more overwhelmed. I’m taking 18 credit hours and I’m trying to get a head of my syllabus before I become lazy. My classes aren’t bad.. it’s just a lot of work. I have a solid 3.0 cumulative right now and I’m trying to raise that as high as I can by the end of the year. Im shocked that my gpa isn’t higher than that being that I’ve had over a 3.2 for like 3 semesters but whatever.

Living with Keith has became a bit stressful too… on top of my job and school work. He gets so stressed and takes it out on me. Right now we’re going through a thing where he’ll give me an attitude for no reason at all. I get him food, he has an attitude. I talk to him, he has an attitude. I’ve been dealing with this for so long I really should be used to it. He gets so stressed with school and work that I just become like a fly that won’t leave him alone. I understand. I try my hardest too. But imagine going through this often. Like at least twice a month, but for days each time. It’s tiring.

It makes me not want to be around him, but since he’s staying with me I have to. Some times I just leave my room and hang with the other people in the building when he lays down for bed so I won’t go to sleep angry. He’s so up and down I never know what to expect with him.

Right now I’m in my room waiting for Keith to tell me to come let him in. Today has actually been better than others. We’ve been texting all day and honestly that could be the reason I’m in a great mood. Keith plays a big part in how I’m feeling for the day unfortunately. If he irritates me, I’ll be annoyed until I can get my mind off how much he pissed me off. But today we’re good.

9:06pm Keith❤️: leaving the rec now, I’ll be downstairs in 5 minutes.

Once I got that text, I hurried up and cleaned the little mess I made trying to get dressed this morning then I went down to let him in. He wasn’t there yet, so I conversed with my coworker who was working the front desk until he arrived.

He knocked on the glass door to signal me that he’s here, I went towards the automatic doors so he can come in.

“Hiiii baby” I happily greeted him as he walked in.

“Hey” Keith said dryly.

See, up and down with him. He was just fine.

We’re waiting on the elevator which is right off the sitting area of the lobby. It’s people down here tonight and for some reason I feel like everyone can sense how awkward we look. Well, how uninterested he looks. I always feel this way even though we aren’t talking very loud and chances are no one is paying us any attention.

“How was your day today?” I asked trying to make some type of small talk to break the ice.

“It was cool.”

We got on the elevator. “Yea mines is going pretty good. You okay?”

“Yup”

We got off the elevator and I keyed into my room. Silence. No words from him. No words from me. Keith began to heat himself up some Ramen noodles and then got the books out of his book bag. I guess that’s what’s wrong, he’s stressed again

“You sure you okay? You must have a lot of homework.” I asked

“Im fine. I just have to revise my paper and turn it in. ” Keith said plainly as he started to eat his food.

“Well let me tell you about my day…”

I began to tell Keith about a situation that happened with my coworker and I. I started off with a what would you do question. But I got silence so I never even was able to actually tell my story. I literally asked what would you do if blah blah? And I got nothing back. Was I talking to a damn wall? Come on now.

“Keith, what would you do?”

Silence. He was eating his noodles while starting up his laptop. He gave me silence as if he started revising his paper and was trying to focus. To stop me from snapping, I just quit everything I was doing and went to shower.

This happens too often for me man. Imagine being so excited to talk to your boyfriend just to get pAid dust. All the time. It really sucks because when we’re good, We’re excellent. Imagine your significant other treating you so awesome and like you’re the queen of his world in front of all your friends. Making you smile and feel all special. Just for you to go upstairs to your room and not get that same energy. Instead you feel like you’re unwanted.

Unwanted. That’s how I’ve felt on way too many occasions. I’m fed up. Keith is so complicated and I hate it.

Before getting in the shower, I opened Twitter just to let out some type of frustration.

@ShiningShay: I’m so tired of this shit man

I scrolled a bit then got into the shower. I immediately started to cry. I’m not emotional from this one incident it’s this one and every time and other thing before it. He keeps coming to MY room and won’t even talk to me. That’s so disrespectful. Act like you love me, then you can get all sour. This particular thing has been going on for a few days. Eventually we’ll be good again, I just don’t know when.

I got out of the shower. And just relaxed in my towel for a minute. I didn’t even want to leave the bathroom. I grabbed my phone just to find a text message from Chris.

10:02pm Chris: You okay?

10:07pm Shai: Yea, I’m fine. Thanks for asking.

I really just wanted to tell him everything that’s going on. But, that’s against the code. You don’t tell your relationship problems to another man.

10:07pm Chris: No problem, just checking on you. How’s your relationship going?

This is not an uncommon question for Chris to ask. I was never able to figure out why he asks me this. I think he just wants to make small talk, but sometimes I’m like naw…he wants to know if I’m single.

10:08pm Shai: Going good, hbu? Got yourself a girl yet?

Last semester, our spring semester of sophomore year, he’d come to my room in between our classes and we’d talk about his girl problems. Seriously. His girl problems, his friend problems, and any other thing. He claims he’d come to my room to nap since he moved off campus but this dude never went to sleep. He’d always wanna talk.

I decided to leave the bathroom. Keith and I still said no words to each other, it was still awkward and I kept laughing because of it. Not too long after i made myself comfortable, Keith closed his computer and got in the shower. I always feel like he’s cheating on me when these times come around. Keith honestly doesn’t have much time to cheat and I truly believe he couldn’t. I become the girlfriend that checks her boyfriends phone around times like this. I know, horrible. But can you blame me? If Keith isn’t talking to me, he gotta be talking to somebody but no. He’s never secretive. He’ll leave his phone around me, even ask me to check and respond to messages. He doesn’t do weird things that make me suspect that he’s cheating other than not talk to me.

It doesn't help that Keith is as fine as he is. So I always end up thinking some girl stole his attention from me. Keith and I met through mutual friends but I already knew who he was prior to us meeting. He was literally jaw dropping fine. I seen him and was stuck one day. Yea I don't know how I got him. But the universe wanted us together for whatever reason. It worked out though. Through his rollsrcoaster emotions we made it 1 year and 6 months. We'll make 2 years in March. If we can get to March.

10:24pm Chris: Lol no, no girlfriend. You know that.

10:25 Shai: I was just asking lol remember last semester you was telling me about those girls. You said you was thinking about wifing one.

10:25 Chris: Oh yeah! Wow Shay, that was so long ago. Things changed lol. If I had a girl, you’d know. No doubt.

I probably wouldn’t know. I don’t talk to Chris like that. We made a promise that we’d try to work on our friendship over the summer. We said that when school started we’d talk and hang more. So here we are.

Keith came out of the bathroom and began getting his things together for tomorrow.

“Did you get your paper turned in?” I asked him

“Yes” He said, but this time not as dry.

10:29pm Shai: You’ll get one lol then we’ll see.

I turned my phone on vibrate. I didn’t want to start any arguments on why Chris was texting me. Keith and Chris don’t know each other. They’re two different kind of guys, they’d probably never even run into each other. I don’t mind them knowing each other, Keith does know that Chris and I are friends. I just don’t want him to trip that it’s 10:30 and we’re talking about him not having a girlfriend. Even though the conversation isn’t like that.

Keith got into bed after he finished up his nightly routine. He told me goodnight and rolled over. I continued to play on my phone and text Chris. Homecoming is in 2 and a half weeks so I’m choosing between my final 3 outfits so I can order them. Homecoming came quick this year. September 30. Like wtf. We just started school. How can I focus on school work and what I’m gonna wear to the hoco parties??

I sent pics to my best friends, Ashley and Kammy. We’ve been helping each other so we won’t go out looking busted. Or in the same outfit.

I eventually finished up my convo with Chris. He asked me what I was doing, I lied and told him I was going to sleep. We ended our conversation with a goodnight. I really didn’t wanna keep talking with him. Plus I really did need to go to sleep.

————

I woke up the next morning to Keith calling me to open my door. He went to work and class. So it’s almost 9:30am. I hate being woken up out of my sleep so much. He knows that but, I’ve been doing better. I normally give him a huge attitude when he calls in the morning to open my door. I have no clue how he gets in the building but whatever. He came in and greeted me happily, shockingly. He talked to me about work and then we went back to sleep until it was time for his next class and my first.

I woke up to Keith preparing for his next class, meaning that it’s time for me to wake up. It’s 10:50. My class is at 12. I kissed Keith goodbye and then checked my phone.

10:37am Chris: Goodmorning Shay 😌

I sent him a good morning back while carrying confusion all over my face. I don’t usually get a good morning message from Chris. I thought he was gonna say that he was about to come over and nap before his class or something. Like he used to. But no instead he sent:

10:40am Chris: how’s your morning going?

Since when does this happen? I only get messages like this from Keith. He texts me good morning everyday while he’s at work. Chris must be trying to make sure I’m not sad from yesterday. Matter of fact, that HAS to be why. It is why. That’s how Chris is. Being thoughtful and trying to make sure others are happy.

10:45 Shai: just getting started, I just woke up

10:46 Chris: I forgot you said you start at 12! Well enjoy your day Shay 😌

Let me stop thinking so hard on this…

Time to enjoy my day, as he said.