#seriously no hate i just cant wrap my head around it for myself

[faithinlouisfuture]

always fascinating to see the different states in which people will dress when getting on a flight! like you couldn’t pay me to travel on a plane with a full face of makeup including falsies but good for the gorgeous girl on my flight who’s cool enough to be doing it

[chrissturniolosbitch]

WORK

a/n- this is a cute short lil smut!

summary- y/n has a bad day at work, then comes home to a messy house and shit goes down.

another a/n- most my shit is short and straight to the point... get used to it!! and ily 🎀

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Today has been a stressful day. All day at work people were being such assholes to me, even my co-workers, and boss. i just wanted to cry.

I knew i couldnt just leave, so i had to go a whole shift listening to everyone bitch and complain about how much i suck.

I just wanted to go home and be with my boyfriend.

When i got off work, i sped home. I knew i just needed Chris. But, nothing today was going good for me.

I pulled into the driveway, and went to the front porch. As soon as i unlocked the door i saw chris, he was just sitting there playing fortnite while the house was still a mess. He had all day to clean up for me, and i even asked him to, 'Why.. Just why.' i think to myself as i started to crazy clean,

"y/n? Hey baby!" I ignored him and continued to clean, "What wrong? Are you okay?" He said trying his best to put 2 and 2 together. I lost it in that moment everything today just sucked.

"Christopher i fucking asked you to clean before i got home. Is this all you do? all fucking day while i slave away at work you just play fortnite?" I said holding back the tears that wanted to spill out of my eyes.

Chris frowned.

I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a spray bottle so i could wipe down the counters when chris decided to speak again, "Im really sorry baby.. i know youre frustrated and im seriously really, really sorry y/n"

He said a he slowly opened his arms, and started walking twards me, "No! chris dont fucking touch me im not in the mood right now!" I warned him, but he still walked twards me with his arms out.

When he finally got to me he wrapped his arms around me tightly, no matter how much a tried to get out he always knew how to calm me down, "Its okay baby, im here for you. Ill always be here for you." He said petting my head, squeezing me tight.

In that moment i bursted into tears. I cried, and cried, and cried.

"Please chris im sorry, today has been such a stressful day, everyone just hates me, and acts like im a lazy peice of shit, im so sorry chris pl-" I said sobbing into his chest leaving his shirt wet, when chris suddenly cut me off, "Its okay y/n. And i dont know what there talking about, you are the most hardworking, independent woman i know!" Chris said trying to make me feel better.

For the rest of the day chris, and i
cuddled, watched movies, ate dinner, and showered.

After we got out of the shower chris took off my robe leaving me bare, i shivered at the cold touch of the air hitting my skin, "Wow. You are so beautiful ma" Chris said scanning my body, "I think youre petty handsome myself!" I said pulling chris in for a kiss, the kiss started of slow, when suddenly chris gabbed my waist, and slipped his tongue into my mouth.

I tried my hardest to fight for dominance, but Chris obviously won.

Chris pulled away and suddenly pushed me onto the bed, "chris." I said giving him doe eyes, "I know baby." He said pulling his towel off his waist, his dick was already hard with precum dripping out off his tip, and down the sides.

I scotted back on the bed opening my legs to let chris know im ready. He looked me in my eyes for approval and i just nodded, "Words baby, speak up" He said innocently, "Yes fuck chris, plea-" Before i could even finish my sentence chris punded his dick into me, I moaned at this sensation, and started to cried from pain, and pleasure, "fuck christopher" i practically screamed grabbing onto his biceps.

Chris kept on slamming into me at an ungodly speed, "ngh. ughh" I said unable to get my words out, "Do you like this baby? huh? do i make you feel that good you cant even speak?" Chris said chuckling, "Yes chris you make m-me fuck.. fell s-s-so good ugh" i said barley able to get my simple sentence out.

I felt a familiar knot start to for in my stomach when chris suddenly started to slam directly into my g-spot, "FUCK! please chris dont stop im so close" I said about to release, "I wont stop baby, i got you. Always" He said as he started pound even faster and harder into me.

I felt my legs start to shake, when suddenly i released all over chris, "fuck baby can i cum in you?" Chris asked looking you in the eyes, "yes please fill me with your babys" His eyes widened as he grunted out my name and busted a whole load inside of me.

i let chris stay inside of me untill he softened up.

"thank you chris, for always making me feel good" I said pulling him in for another kiss, while he started to pull out.

"always mama" he said kissing my back.

[samncolbyjj]

𝙄𝙩'𝙨 𝙝𝙚𝙧.

Jakw Webber

Warnings: angst

A/n: so there's a reference of a song hidden in this chapter, its not bubblegum (the song of the chapter) there's another one, try and Find out what song is it.

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|Y/N's Pov|

I was dating Jake for some months, and i do know that him and Tara are just friends. But he seems to like her and not me, i feel like hes using me sometimes... And he doesn't even notice, i feel likw he thinks its love but it's actually just a band-aid for his bruises.

Tara was my best friend so it was 100x worse because you can't vent about it to her, she will say that its fine and he loves me not her. But i don't want that, i want someone to listen and help me solve it, i knew she won't do it.

✰~------------------------------~✰

We are filming a video in my house. We are testing pool toys and answering some questions the chat sent to one of Jake's posts. Johnnie was streaming so it was just me, Jake and Tara. They were filming like i wasn't there, i just grabbed some stuff and tried it by myself while they were trying stuff together. It felt like she was his girlfriend not me.

"Y/n this one is for you!" I looked at Jake as he began to read the question. "Is there anything you'd change about Jake?" I got nervous, of course there was, I wanted him to love me. But saying that now? I wasn't even ready to tell Tara about it imagine telling him with millions of people watching.

I couldn't tell anything else because i wouldn't change anything else in him. "Yes, I would. I would change the way he sees me." Jake and Tara got confused, they looked at eachother to see if either of them knew anything but both didn't know

"What do you mean babe?" Jake asked me and i just turned around and grabbed another toy to try out. He kept trying things, but he was more silent now, Tara was also silent since he was not talking much with her.

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We kept asking questions and trying stuff, but it wasn't that fun anymore, so Jake just stopped recording. As soon as he turned the camera off i walked inside and went to our room. Jake noticed and followed me there.

He opened the door and saw me in the bed with my laptop watching cartoons. "Hey babe can we talk" i got a little nervous, but I just sighed "yeah i guess we can" he sat down next to me.

"What did you mean with you'd change the way i see you" i closed my laptop and looked at him, i wasn't mad, but i was exhausted so i was being kinda rude. "You really want to know?" He looked at me in the eyes and nodded. "I want you to see me how you see Tara, she's your ex and sometimes it seems like you prefer her, she's got you mesmerized, while i die! I cant hate her, she's my best friend, she's an angel, but then again kinda wish she was dead... Or not maybe its a strong word but gone at least in your life... Jake... i wish i was Tara..."

He looked at me concerned, i looked like i was crying but nothing was coming out of my eyes. I wanted to cry but i couldn't, my stomach is spinning and I feel sick. He wraps his arm around me and pulled me close, my head resting in his chest.

"Look im sorry for making you feel like that, but i don't love her, im over her i promise you! Me and her are just friends, we're close but just close friends who like to do shit, im sorry for not giving you attention. I promise to give you more attention from now on, i really love you Y/n... I really do..."

His hand running up and down my arm. He kissed my forehead and grabbed my chin making me face him. I looked In his eyes and gave him a gentle peck. "Sorry for overthinking... I just really... I dont wanna lose you, especially not to her, she's my best friend and I'd had to see that every day..."

"You won't i promise you... Now... Wanna go to some 711 to get smth" he said smiling at me and getting up. "Again? Okay why not." I laughed and hugged him.

I love him. Im glad he loves me too.

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A/n: seriously, i loved writing this one, btw leave requests please!!!

Questions: -Did you find the reference to that song? If you did what song do you think is it? -Have tou read my other one shots? Opinions? -Favourite artist?

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[immissingmaxx]

My Mascot// Tendou Satori

Chapter Six: Those Who Like to be Alone

Summary: When a conversation with Tendou gets to Y/n’s head, she decides to test a theory

Warnings: Mentions of partying

Word Count: 781

"Hey! Take L/n's food not mine!" Goshiki yelled at Tendou, snatching his plate away from him.

"That was a one time thing. Seriously Tendou remember your lunch card." I took my plate and turned away from him, protecting my food.

"Come on!! You guys are supposed to be my friends!" Tendou whined at his failed attempt to steal Goshiki's food.

"As your friend, remember your lunch card." I fired back at him, not even registering the words coming from my mouth.

I've been eating lunch with Tendou and his friends for a week now, to the point he doesn't have to call me over to their table.

One week ago, Kanna would invite me to eat lunch with her friends and i would decline, the mere thought of being around them already giving me headaches.

Yet here i am, sitting with Tendou and 5 of his friends and i.. dont hate this.

-

"So are you a mascot for all the games?" Tendou asked, slouching next to me as we walked back to the dorms.

"Uh, yeah." I answered simply. It's a bit embarrassing, walking to the dorms next to a boy. I would walk alone but Tendou caught me walking by the staircase. Not to mention its Tendou. I never know what he's gonna say, or do next.

"That's alot of games to go to, isnt it?"

"Uh not really, i chose to be a mascot so that i would have more free time." Its true, well half of it.

"And so you could be alone." Tendou said simply, reading me completely.

"Yeah.. So i could be alone." I agreed, diverting my eyes to the passing ground in embarrassment.

"That's not a bad thing. I like to be alone at times but i like being with my friends most. Everyone's different though. Some people like being around their friends more, and some people like being alone more. That doesn't mean they want to be alone all the time.." Tendou stopped and leaned down to me, letting his eyes meet mine and stare into them. "Right?"

He's too close. I don't even let my brain think before i blurt out a response.

"Y-yeah. Right." I took a step back from him, once again diverting my eyes to the ground which was now still.

"Well, if you ever get tired of being alone.." Tendou reached into his pocket, taking out a folded piece of paper and handing it to me. "Let me know."

I held the paper in my hand, unfolding it and revealing its contents. A number

"Well, im supposed to be at practice. See ya!"

"Wha-" And with that Tendou spun on his toes and bolted back to the building. We were already more than half of the way back to the dorms, how could he let himself go that far?

-

Studying isnt usually a problem for me. Its only when i truly struggle on a topic that it's hard for me study. That and when i have alot on my mind.

I cant stop thinking back to my conversation with Tendou, his words replaying in my head. I sighed and closed my textbook.

I do like being alone. I like spending time on my own and enjoying my time by myself. Being alone all the time would mean no school, no going outside, no talking to anyone else, no talking to Kanna, no talking to Tendou.

What would a world like that be like?

I laid my head down atop my open textbook, my eyes locking onto the flimsy, dented piece of paper laying open against my pencil case.

Im not sure i want to know..

"Yo F/n! I know you covered for me last night but please please please please please i need to go to this party." Kanna bursted through our door, already crawling to her knees.

"You don't need to beg, you know i will." I snatched the piece of paper and tucked it under my text book.

"Yaay! Your the best you know that!" Kanna jumped to her feet, wrapping her arms around me. She stood up and went straight to her dresser, picking out some clothes that isnt a uniform.

Kanna is one of the two. Someone who likes being around their friends more, rather than someone who likes being alone more. She's friends with just about the entire school, and thats what she likes. I like being alone more, but maybe there are times i can like being around other people.

"Hey Kanna." I closed my book and turned in my chair, catching her attention. Well some, as she continued going through her dresser.

"What if i join you this time?"

[angels-sidechick]

Tw: Vent post- no tags because seriously this is just a rant

I wrote an exam yesterday that I thought I was over prepared for, I was not. I don’t know how I managed to sit through it without crying, but I almost did.

I just wanted to stand up and leave but I would stand out to my classmates if I left early, so I forced myself to sit through it. I wrote nonsense. I feel worthless. I have another exam in about 12 hours and ive been trying to prepare but I can’t concentrate. It’s like my mind is filled with cotton and i’m drowning in air, I don’t know if that even makes sense. I hate this. I hate how I need to force myself to go through tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after that. It’s very difficult for me to consistently pretend like i’m not always anxious about my future and this is one of those moments when that ‘structure’ breaks down.

I wish I could pause time and just rest. I wish i was smarter. More creative. More talented. I wouldn’t need to struggle to do basic things like this so much. I wish it didn’t feel like a struggle to live, to talk to people, to make friends, even doing the things I love. It’s all meaningless and I’m trying to give it meaning but everything just erases and invalidates all the meaning i attach to my life.

Everything is more important than my identity as a human. My identity as a writer/creative is too insignificant to be considered. My identity as an academic feels forced and shallow because i’m just not as fast as everyone else, my memory is shit. It takes me ages to understand concepts that others deem simple and i just cant wrap my head around a lot of things. In short, im slow. I enjoy learning but I can no longer keep up.

I can no longer keep up with a lot of things. If i had it my way i would just write till my brain goes numb but I can’t. That’s what a failure would do, I’m told. I’ve been told as much so many times that I can’t even face the small disappointments that come with life, now imagine failing at something so significant like an examination? My university career? I can’t even fathom it. I don’t want to imagine it.

I can only hope that I manage to write everything I wish to write before it all blows up in my face, because writing is the only thing I truly care about at this point. It’s the only thing I feel I can love without consequence, betrayal or expectation. The only requirement is to do it and love doing it, and I do. Its effortless. I don’t need to think about it. I just need to feel, and I’ve never been happy in years but I feel a variety of complex emotions outside of joy. I don’t remember being truly and unapologetically happy. Even in the better moments of my life, there’s always a voice in my head reminding me not to linger, for misery always follows behind. My misery is my shadow, I don’t go anywhere without it. When there’s light before me, it’ll cling to my back as a reminder. When there’s no light, it takes the opportunity to surround and overpower me.

I’m slowly getting numb to feelings of guilt and remorse for others around me too. I’ve always felt i needed to do as much as i can to not hurt anyone around me, to not inconvenience them but nobody puts that much effort into protecting my heart. I should stop it, but thats how I was raised. To fix and help people. I don’t want to help people anymore. I want to focus on helping myself, if that’s even possible to begin with. I’ve been like this for so long that I cannot imagine myself as being anything else.

[mid-weast]

Will you keep it down? | Jeon Jungkook

Summary: You and Jungkook attend the same university and have been neighbors for 3 months now. It drives you crazy that he plays loud music at 2AM, and it drives him crazy that you barely acknowledge his presence.

Pairing: Jungkook x Female!Reader; Black!Reader

Words: 2.6K

Genre: enemies to lovers, student!jungkook, student!reader, fluff, mention of smut, angst? (in the form of bickering back and forth).

Authors note: Hi hi! This is the first fic I’ve ever written so if it’s bad I’m sorry. Also it is unedited so if there's grammar / spelling mistakes I'm sorry again! Also this is catered toward the reader being Black but I hope it can be enjoyed by everyone. Thank you for reading! Feedback is appreciated ok love u bye!

“Y/N? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??!? Open this door RIGHT NOW!”

Even though you were studying in your room, his knocks were so loud you nearly jumped out of your skin. You had expected a reaction, but not a full-on explosion.

You and Jungkook have been apartment neighbors for about three months now, and a constant problem is that he blares his music hella loud late at night. Of course he’s a music major so he listens to music a lot, but at this point you don’t care. It doesn’t even seem like he’s working on composition homework anyway, just being an asshole with no regard for his neighbors peace. Now don’t get yourself wrong, you're not just some uptight bitch who complains about everything. Well, you do have several pet peeves but over the years of going to school in Korea you’ve picked and chosen your battles very wisely. In most cases you let things slide. You wouldn’t care at all about someone playing the music loudly, but it is 2 AM, and while you’re up studying you know a lot of your other neighbors are trying to sleep.

You tiptoe toward your front door and twist the knob slowly. You only open the door wide enough to be able to see his face. It’s not that you’re scared that you’re in danger or anything, and you rarely back down from people giving you a hard time. But you were tired, wearing a big ass t- shirt and short shorts (your regular sleep attire), and it was late at night. So if anything was going to pop off you felt pretty vulnerable. Even though you’re the same age, he towers over you and you find his size kinda intimidating.

As usual, you have to crane your neck to see his face, and your view of him is limited by the narrowness in which

you opened the door.

“Can I help you, lil boy?”

From what you can see of him, right away you can tell that he is pissed. Dawning his usual attire of a black sweatshirt with the hood up, black sweats, and stomp a hoe boots, he stood extremely close to your apartment door with his arms crossed. His usually wide, puppy dog eyes are now pressed in narrow slits. His normally pouty lips are formed in a hard line, and his jaw is so clenched you could carve an ice sculpture with his jawline.

"Who the hell do you think you are? You called the cops on me? Are you INSANE???" Jungkook shouts.

Obviously he's mad, and despite the amount of times you've gone back and forth he's never raised your voice at you. The old you would have screamed back at him, but over time you've tried to respond to anger with calmness. Also, you were a little scared because this mf is kind of big.

"I already told you if you keep blaring your music at 2AM, I was going to do something about it!" You respond in a hushed whisper, slightly concerned that your elderly neighbors will be even more disturbed by the noise. "I've told you this a million times, and you barely do anything about it. If anything, it's gotten worse like you're doing it on purpose. People are trying to sleep and I'm trying to study, why is this so hard for you to understand?"

He sucks his teeth. "You're such a little snitch. And I've already told YOU that YOU can't tell me what to do."

"I know I can't...but they can," you nod toward the exit, referring to the police officers that most likely just left out that way with a tiny smirk growing on your face.

If it was possible, he clenched his jaw even harder and you think that he's going to pop a blood vessel. He pushes his way into your apartment, which sends you stumbling back and you grab the door handle to regain your balance. This causes you to close the door shut.

"Hey! What the hell do you think you're-"

He steps right up to you and leans down into your face.

"Who the fuck do you think you are, seriously??? Why are you such an annoying little brat? Just because you're a nerd with no friends who gets no play doesn't mean you can take your bitterness out on me.”

You have to laugh in his face at this point because hello??? First of all, who is he talking to? Second of all, you have told him a BUNCH of times to turn his music down late at night. You didn't think that was too much to ask. As far as you were concerned, being aware of your noise level when you live in an apartment is the universal bare minimum for being a human being.

"ME? Who do you think YOU are? Actually let me tell you. You're an entitled little rich boy who thinks he runs the world. I don't give a fuck about how popular you are on campus, how many people fall at your feet to be around you, and how many hoes you have, you cant talk to ME like that. And how are you going to try and tell me about myself when it's too much of a task for you to be a decent neighbor? I've never done anything to blatantly bother you, so why can you just.." You started to panic because usually when you raise your voice out of anger, your voice cracks and tears threaten to pool out of your eyes, but you tried to get a grip and not back down..."why can you just be nice to me so we can live in peace? Is that too hard for you???"

He looked kind of taken aback by your question. Being nice to you? It never crossed his mind. Also, you kind of had a point. When the semester started and you both moved in on the same day, you would shoot him a small, friendly smile in passing but you never seemed interested in getting to know him. He always wondered why that was. It's not that he had a problem talking with girls, since all he had to do was breathe and girls would come flocking around him, but you would flat out ignore him. Even at all the major parties at the beginning of the year and on Thursday nights when students take over the clubs in the city, you'd barely even acknowledge him. He KNEW that you had seen him too, since you would make eye contact, but you acted like he was just another guy at the club.

And he'd be lying if he said you weren't fine. You had thick thighs, a beautiful face, nice curves, and always wore outfits that hugged you in the right places. He always wondered what it would feel like to wrap his arms around your body and press it against his own. He would constantly sneak peaks of you throughout the night at the club, but something stirred in him when he saw that you were chatting up other guys. Was he...jealous? Jealous that you were so eager to pay attention to these dudes who, in his opinion, were decent looking but they were nowhere near his level, and you never even gave him a second thought? One night he even saw you leaving with a man he knew through mutual friends, and he had to physically stop himself from breaking the glass he was holding, because that guy, while objectively handsome, was nothing compared to him. Jungkook wasn't blatantly cocky, but he let his talent, charm, and looks speak for themselves. He was THEE Jeon Jungkook, and nothing ever really bothered him....except you.

Was he....interested in you? Nah, that can't be it. You were some random chick who happened to be his neighbor, who also is one of the only girls he's met that doesn't give two fucks about even having small talk with him, and that infuriated him for some reason. So the first time you came knocking on his door in an adorable pink satin pajama set with a matching bonnet complaining about his loud music, he knew the game he had to play.

He's still standing over you, centimeters away from you face, but you notice that his eyes soften a little and so does his jaw. He unclenches the fists he was holding crossed against his chest

You continue, “I don't care what you do, and I'm DEFINITELY trying to run your messy ass life. Believe me," you scoff, "you don't have enough money to pay me to do that. But when your dickhole behavior fucks with MY life is when it's a problem. And it's BEEN a problem."

He rolls his eyes. "Whatever, little girl, maybe I should call you little mouse now, since now I know that you'll go squeaking to the cops now, don't fuck with me or my music again.”

Without moving your head you look him up and down with a confused expression. "Am I supposed to be scared of you? No seriously, you look like you cry during Disney movies while wearing footie pajamas, and now here you are throwing a fit because I forced you to stop bothering the entire wing with your music?"

Girl...what are you saying??? This man just barged into YOUR place, is in your face, and is strong enough to pick you up and throw you, and you’re insulting him? But you figured if he's going to be rude, you'll throw it right back because you're tired of his bullshit.

Whatever softness he was feeling for a fleeting moment immediately left, and annoyance once again washed over. He straightens up a bit and puts on that annoying confident smirk he wears when he thinks he's won arguments between you two.

"You should be nicer to me, all it will take is for me to tweet one thing about you, and you'll be the most hated person on campus."

At this point, any suspicions that you had about him annoying you on purpose were confirmed. You've concluded that this mf is a bully and you, small and shy but not one to take mess, will put him in his place to-motherfucking-night.

You take a step toward him, now crossing your arms tightly against your chest, but he doesn't even move a hair backwards.

"Clearly you need a rude awakening so here it is. I don't know what type of people you've dealt with all your life, always saying yes to you, letting you boss them around and taking whatever bullshit you dish out, but let me tell you I am not the one. Never have been and never will be. Unlike the other fools around here who cream their pants at the mention of your name, I don't care about who you are. You'll respect ME and MY peace as long as we're neighbors, you get me?"

Now y/n, you have never so boldly stood up to someone, where did that come from, babes? You've tried to not let this entitled little boy get to you this whole time, but with him standing in front of you in the middle of your apartment with that extremely annoying, yet handsome, smirk on his face, and after all the crap he's said tonight, he had you all the way fucked up.

After you said that, he just laughed and looked away. Now you’re standing there fuming and confused...was there a joke you missed? You were being dead serious!

"Something funny?" you ask, narrowing your eyes.

"Nothing, just thinking about how I want to face fuck that annoying little mouth of yours so you finally shut up.”

Your jaw almost dropped to the floor. You've never had a guy say something so blatantly rude and vulgar literally inches away from your face. But again, you weren't going to back down.

"Oh really?" Scoffing and tilting your head to the side a bit while narrowing your eyes even more, "I'd very much like to do the same. Maybe then you'll learn your place."

"Oh please, princess, you probably blanch when someone around you even mentions the word sex." He chuckles and leans down close toward your face again and cocks his head to the side, scrunching his nose and in a pouty voice said, "you're fooling no one, but keep trying, maybe you'll get there.”

You're even more annoyed than you were before, if that was even possible. But if he wanted to play this game, you might as well go there with him. It's true, you were a bit more prudent than more, but it pissed you off that he could tell. Regardless, you do know some things to say that could have him leaving with his tail between his legs.

You pouted your lips and in a babying tone said, “Aww sweetheart you have no idea. You think you're big and bad but like I said, you probably cry watching Disney movies. The same way you'd be crying, begging me to let you cum down my throat as I mercilessly toy with your cock for hours.”

Now it's his turn to go pale. Y/n, his stuck up neighbor who has barely even spared him five seconds of her time just threatened to edge him into submission? He has to pinch himself because he must be dreaming....

“Well I-“

“But I don't even think we’d make it that far, hun” you continue, “because in order to humble your egotistical, disrespectful ass, I'm gonna have to ride your face until you suffocate. And when the paramedics come and I have to explain how you died, I won't even hesitate to tell them that you were a punk ass loser who LITERALLY drowned in my pussy!”

You don’t know who this person speaking is, but it is not you. All of the pent up hostility you’ve held towards him just flooded out of you and you couldn’t stop the words from coming out. To be honest you shocked yourself, but you still stood there with your arms crossed and your face unfaltering, just waiting for him to say something smart back.

He stared at you silently, eyes wider than you’ve seen before and his mouth hung slightly open. He wasn’t expecting you to respond with so much fire, but now he wouldn’t be able to sleep until the image you painted came true. His brain said fuck it, and his lips crashed down onto yours. The kiss is sloppy but passionate, and you swore you heard him quietly whimper.

When he feels you starting to kiss back, he smirks into the kiss. Your lips are moving against each other in tandem, and all thoughts about how much you despise the prick fades away. As you uncrossed your arms and placed them on his chest, you could feel his heart beating wildly. Was he as nervous as you were this whole time? You wonder. You knew he was a player, so he was experienced. But the thought that you made him nervous gave you a tiny confidence boost. His hands slowly slide up the sides of your body to sneak behind your back, to pull you further into his chest. As much as your brain was telling you to resist him and push him away, you couldn't help but fall victim to how soft his lips felt against yours. Suddenly you feel airborne as he swiftly reaches down behind your thighs and picks you up. You instinctively gasp but he doesn’t miss a beat, simply biting your lower lip and locking your lips together again.

“Maybe we should test that scenario of yours, and if it comes true, that wouldn’t be the worst way for me to go” he says, doing that annoying but soul-crushingly handsome smirk he likes to wear as he carries you off to your bedroom.

[ragingbookdragon]

Each Word Gets Lost In The Echo PT. 1

Roy Harper x Batbrother!Reader

Word Count: 2.9K Warnings: Explicit Language, Mature Themes

Author's Note: I had way too much fun with this but PT. 2 is going to be angsty and y'all are gonna hate me for it. >:) Enjoy! -Thorne

********************************************************************************

So, are you planning on getting us together soon?

He hummed in response, pulling out the pan and spatula. “I dunno. With Gutierrez’s wife giving birth, I want Esmeralda to have some time with her daughter before we pull out again. I know her Samantha wants her home.”

Understood, but…what’s happening in Syria…it’s not going to get better on its own.

“I know it won’t, Nadeen. But until we get a mission from somebody overseas, we can’t exactly go out.” He pulled a few eggs from the refrigerator, cracking them on the rim of the pan, watching the yellow yolks fall in. “Besides, it’s the first week of a three-month leave.” He smirked. “Don’t tell me you’re already bored.”

Are you kidding me? Um and Ab have grounded me from flying. I’m stuck here, (Y/N).

“How is your family by the way? Wasn’t your sister attending the Cairo University?” he asked.

Yeah, and Um is so proud of her.

(Y/N) chuckled, whisking the eggs in the pan. “Someone’s jealous.”

Well, I can’t exactly tell my parents I work for an illegal black ops squad. Kinda puts dampers in relationships.

“Nadeen, we’re not an illegal squad. We’re government sanctioned.”

The fuck we are. They just don’t bother us because they know they can’t kill us all.

Grabbing the pepper, he ground some into the pan. “Jesus, take a vacation, Nadeen. Go to France or something.”

Fuck France. I’ll go to Saint Petersburg first. Oh shit, speaking of SP, have you spoken to Vitsina yet?

(Y/N) frowned, setting down the pepper grinder. “Why? Is something wrong?”

What? No. I was just wondering if you had. She really needs to get a hobby. Hey, maybe I can get her and Walker to come hang out with me at home.

“You’re not going to get Walker out of his flat, Nadeen. You know how he is when he gets on leave.”

And what about Nakamoto?

“You know they’re both paranoid. Remember to—” something clanged down the hallway and he stopped, mid-sentence, going silent.

Hello? (Y/N)? Captain, you alright?

He frowned and turned off the stove, opening a drawer at the far end of the counter. Pulling out the Glock, he cocked it and murmured, “Asghar, lemme call you back.”

Ten-four, Captain. Be careful.

The line went dead, and he crept to the edge of the doorway and paused, inhaling sharply before he peeked around the corner, gun ready. Nothing. (Y/N)’s frown only deepened as he moved down the hallway, quiet and breathless. He got to the first room in the hall, his study and he shifted against the wall, listening for movement. When he heard nothing, he moved slightly, gun pointed into the door as he swept the room. Empty.

Exhaling deeply, he started to move when he heard the noise again and he peeked out the door to his bedroom. There. (Y/N) crept along the wall again until he was at the doorway and he leaned against the frame, listening carefully. Something was in there. Something or someone, he didn’t know what, but he did know.

(Y/N) waited until the noise got closer then turned the doorway and moved in. Someone’s hand shot out, grabbing the gun and he grunted, throwing up his elbow into their jaw. The intruder cried and with their free hand, grabbed (Y/N)’s shirt and yanked; they went tumbling to the ground, the gun falling away, but he didn’t waste his chance, scrambling atop the stranger as he went for the Strider he had in his back pocket.

He flicked it out and brought it down when the person beneath him grabbed it with one hand, the other ripping off the hood he wore. “(Y/N)! It’s me!”

“Roy?”

The archer sighed and went slack beneath him. “God, yes, it’s me!”

(Y/N) relaxed and tossed the knife to the side, hanging his head down. “Jesus Fuck Roy, I thought you were an assassin.”

“Get those often?” he shot back and (Y/N) glowered at him.

“Yeah, I do actually.” He rolled off Roy and got to his feet, holding out his hand for him to take.

“God, remind me not to sneak up on you again.” He let himself be tugged up and rubbed his jaw. “I thought you dislocated my jaw for a second.”

(Y/N) shoved a finger in his face. “You’re lucky you managed to grab the gun because I almost shot your ass.” He bent down and picked up his Glock and knife, putting the latter back in his pocket after he’d flicked it shut. “Are you some kind of idiot? Why the fuck didn’t you just knock on the door? What possibly justified sneaking into a mercenary’s bedroom through the window?”

Roy shrugged. “I thought you weren’t home yet.”

He opened his mouth to retort, then shut it and nodded. “Alright, that’s actually not a terrible excuse.” Sighing, he shoved past Roy and walked down the hall into the kitchen, the archer following him. “But don’t do it again.”

“Why? Worried you were gonna shoot your boyfriend?” Roy teased, wrapping his arms around (Y/N)’s waist, nuzzling into his neck.

“Yeah, I was.” He put the gun back in the drawer and lugged the archer towards the stove where he flicked the burner back on. “Next time just text me and ask if I’m home.”

Roy hummed, pressing a kiss just above the mercenary’s collar. “I wanted to surprise you.”

“Well,surprise me you did,” (Y/N) griped. “I seriously thought I was about to have a firefight in my own damn apartment.” He paused, seeming to remember something and said, “I live in a penthouse.” Glancing at Roy, he questioned, “How the fuck did you get up here?”

“I’ve got skills, babe,” Roy grinned, waggling his brows and (Y/N) rolled his eyes before tapping the Bluetooth headset at his ear.

“Call Nadeen.” It pinged for a few moments.

Captain, you’re back. Everything good?

“Yeah,” he sighed. “Roy was in the apartment.”

You live in a penthouse? How’d he get up there?

“His ‘skills’ apparently.”

Nice. He still going around with your brother?

(Y/N) nodded forgetting she wasn’t in front of him and reclined into Roy as the eggs started cooking. “Yeah. Got a new gig as Red Hood and Arsenal.”

Roy blinked. “Wait, does your squad know…about you know…”

He waved and (Y/N) completed, “That my family and friends are vigilantes? Yeah. Why?”

“Isn’t that a breach of security?”

He snorted. “You act like my squad is friends with every government in the world, baby.” He shook his head. “I trust my team with everything. And in return they trust me with theirs.”

Aww, Captain you do care.

“Does your dad know that they know?”

(Y/N) shrugged. “Probably. But he doesn’t tell me how to live my life and I don’t tell him how to live his.” He scrambled the eggs. “Nadeen, go hang out with Vitsina for a week or two if you’re really that bored.”

She’s back in Russia right now, isn’t she?

“I think so. Said she had a loose end to tie up with Antonovich.”

Oh shit, she’s gonna fucking kill that guy. She might need air support then.

“Hence why I said go hang out with her.”

Wanna come along? You could bring your boy-toy?

“Did she just call me a boy-toy?” Roy blurted. “Excuse you, I am not a boy-toy. I am a boy-man.”

Well, from the pictures Captain’s showed us, you are in fact a boy-toy, Roy.

He blinked and looked at (Y/N). “What pictures did you show them?”

“Nothing,” he coughed. “Nadeen, shut up.”

The ones with the red lace and matching heels.

“You didn’t.” Roy breathed. “You showed them the pin-up photos?!”

(Y/N)’s mouth fell open and closed as he vaguely gestured around. “I didn’t directly show them. Nakamoto hacked my phone like the nosy asshole he is and found ‘em.”

“So that means you still showed them because you apparently didn’t stop them from seeing!”

Oh, look at that, Captain, Ab is calling me. Talk later!

She hung up on him and (Y/N) huffed a laugh, pulling the device from his ear. He set it aside and shrugged out of Roy’s arms, pulling two plates out of the cabinet beside them. He plated the food, smirking at the flush across Roy’s cheeks. “Oh, don’t tell me you’re embarrassed, baby?”

“You showed my nudes to your black ops squad. It’s hot. Ridiculously hot. But also embarrassing.”

“If it makes you feel any better, they were very impressed with them.”

Roy tried and failed horribly to hide the grin coming over his lips. “…They were?”

(Y/N) set down the plates and got up in Roy’s personal space and flirted, “Oh absolutely baby. They were so stunned at how pretty you looked all dolled up in that red teddy, your lips painted crimson.” He gripped Roy’s hips and pulled them flush together, and while Roy was about five-eleven, (Y/N) had a couple inches on him. He smirked when he felt the definition in Roy’s jeans. “Wanna know what my favorite picture is?”

Roy swallowed thickly, one hand coming to grab at the island behind him, the other grabbing (Y/N)’s shoulder. “Which—which one?”

He pressed a kiss to the underside of the archer’s jaw, trailing his lips to his ear where he breathed, “The one where you’re bent down on the bed…” he reached up behind Roy’s back and tugged at the hair at the nape of his neck. “Your ass is up in the air and...”

“Uh huh, what else?” Roy begged, hips canting forward.

“God, you’ve got that pretty red flush across your cheeks.” (Y/N) whispered. “You looked incredibly ravishing.” He breathed in Roy’s ear. “We were on that mission in Kazakhstan for two whole months and all I could think about was getting back home and drilling you into the mattress until you couldn’t walk.”

“(Y/N)…” the archer groaned shamelessly. “Babe, please.”

He smirked, pressing a kiss to Roy’s cheek. “I didn’t show them that one though,” he said, pulling away without a second thought, picking up the plates. “I kept that one to myself. It’s still in my wallet if you wanna go check. I look at it a lot.”

(Y/N) wandered towards the living room and plopped down on the couch, propping his legs up on the coffee table. He snorted when he heard Roy’s moan of frustration followed by the man stomping into the living room with the other plate in his hand, the free one adjusting the front of his jeans.

“I hate you.” He scowled, sitting on the other end of the couch. “I hate you so fucking much it’s not funny.”

(Y/N) shrugged and picked up the remote, switching the channels until he found a football game to watch. “You snuck into my penthouse and almost made me shoot you point blank.” He shot Roy a grin. “I guess we’re both doing things to each other we don’t like.”

“I thought you weren’t home!”

“Mhm. Punishment is still a punishment, baby.” He turned up the volume and dug into his eggs. “Jason know you’re in Gotham City?”

Roy swallowed the food in his mouth, answering, “Told him I was in the area.”

“You know he’s gonna wanna see you.” (Y/N) replied. “If not to hang out, to make sure you’re not into trouble.”

“Are you saying I’m trouble, babe?” Roy retorted and he chuckled.

“You’re my kind of trouble.”

The archer went silent, and his cheeks flushed. “…That was a low blow.”

(Y/N) winked. “Uh huh.” His side vibrated and he reached down, pulling his phone out.

“Who is it?” Roy asked.

“Alfred.” He slid his thumb along the bottom and put it to his ear. “Hello, you’ve reached the answering machine of your favorite grandson. How may I assist you today, grandpa?”

You’re absolutely hysterical, Master (Y/N). You should go into comedy.

“I would but it doesn’t pay that well unlike merc missions.”

Hmm…how are you today, Master (Y/N)?

He smiled. “Not too bad Alfie. Could’ve eaten a perfect parfait with fresh fruit and granola, but beggars can’t be choosers, huh?”

You did miss an excellent breakfast if I do say so myself. Nevertheless, it is Sunday morning. Shall I expect you later tonight for dinner?

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world, Alfie.” (Y/N) agreed.

Wonderful. I shall set out an extra plate in case you decide to invite Master Harper. Have a good day. Until tonight, sir.

The line clicked and (Y/N) pulled the phone from his ear, staring at it in confusion. “Babe? What’s wrong?” Roy questioned.

He shook his head. “Alfred knew you were here.”

“What? He did?”

He looked up at Roy. “Yeah…said he was going to set out an extra plate for you tonight at dinner in case you wanted to come.”

“I get to come to the Wayne Family Sunday Night Dinner? Really?” he seemed awfully excited.

“Dude, it’s just dinner.”

“That you guys do every Sunday night and don’t allow anybody to tread on,” Roy retorted with a glare. “This is special.”

(Y/N) rolled his eyes. “Are you that eager to be introduced to the family?” he dodged the pillow Roy threw at him. “But…if you wanna come, you’re free to.”

“Really?” Roy doubted. “You want me to come over? I thought you wanted to keep this quiet?”

He sighed and pulled his legs from the table, setting the plate on it. “It’s not that I want it to stay a secret. It’s just…I worry about it.”

Roy set his plate down on the coffee table and scooted close. “What about?”

“I don’t know, Roy. I’m just worried that the more people that know about us the more danger I put you in.”

“Babe…” Roy started, placing a hand on the other side of (Y/N)’s cheek so he could turn his face to the archer’s. “We both live dangerous lives. There’s always going to be danger surrounding us.”

“I know,” (Y/N) sighed, leaning into Roy’s hand. “I still worry though. About you…about us.” He met those evergreen eyes. “I’m just worried that every time I leave, it’s going to be the last time we see each other.”

Roy chuckled. “Afraid I’m going to get offed?”

“No,” he murmured, turning his lips into Roy’s palm. “That I will.”

The archer gaped at him. “(Y/N)…why haven’t you told me about this?”

“Because I’m a super soldier who was trained to keep my emotions under control by an anal retentive, over glorified kitchen scale of a father.” (Y/N) deadpanned, then heaved an even bigger sigh and rested his forehead against Roy’s shoulder. “You’ve got enough on your plate.”

“Yeah, Jaybird keeps me pretty busy with missions.”

He chuckled. “Gonna have to tell my little brother to let my boyfriend have a break.”

“Break smeak.” Roy quipped, pressing a kiss to (Y/N)’s temple. “Listen to me, you’re a strong man, (Y/N). You’re probably the best out of your family. Smart and skilled off the charts.” He ran his calloused fingers down his lover’s neck. “If anyone is going to get out alive on a mission, it’ll always be you. Always.”

He sighed, turning his nose into Roy’s neck as he whispered. “You think so?”

Roy smiled, gripping his chin lightly to pull his head up. “I don’t think so, babe. I know so.” He leaned forward and pressed his lips to (Y/N)’s. “I love you,” he murmured against the soldier’s lips. “So much.”

(Y/N) hummed and pressed a hand to Roy’s chest, shoving him backwards onto the couch and he crawled atop him. “I love you more,” he replied and pulled his shirt off his body before pressing his hand to Roy’s chest, except the archer hissed and he let up. “What’s wrong?” he worried, and he shook his head.

“Nothing.”

“Roy.” He warned, cocking a brow. “Where are you hurt?” he asked, pressing the same spot again.

“Ow! Stop that!” Roy grunted. “It’s tender.”

“What’s tender?” (Y/N) inquired and Roy sighed.

“I got a new tattoo.”

He narrowed his eyes and gazed down at him. “Of?”

“Nothing.” The archer muttered, though pink was coming across his cheeks and he sighed.

“C’mon Roy. Talk or I’ll tease it out of you.” He shot him a glare. “And you know I will.”

They stared one another down for a minute then Roy sighed and pulled his shirt off and (Y/N) peeled away the bandage. His eyes went wide when he saw the silver spartan helmet atop the black shield, the gold lettering underneath.

“Is this…”

“Your squad designation?” Roy offered. “Yeah…thought it seemed right.”

(Y/N) traced the raised flesh, eyes flashing to Roy’s when he shivered from the calloused touch. “I can’t believe you got my squads symbol tattooed on your chest.”

“You don’t like it?” he sounded hurt.

“I love it,” (Y/N) huffed, gesturing to his own tattoo on his ribs. “We match now…though you forgot to put your name inside the shield.”

“Well, I’m not technically a Spectre, (Y/N).” Roy said.

“Maybe not, but that’s still where your name goes.” He retorted and smiled. “It’s awesome, baby.”

Roy’s thumb brushed his hipbone. “So does the tattoo get me out of punishment for sneaking in?”

(Y/N) smirked down at him. “It just might.” He reached down and tugged the front of Roy’s pants. “Why don’t you show me how sorry you are for it? I just might decide to forgive you before subjecting you to dinner with my family.”

A multitude of emotions flashed through Roy’s eyes. Arousal, desire, need, and then surprise. “Oh shit, I forgot about dinner.”

“Seriously?” (Y/N) blinked, unsurprised. “God you’re such a man.” He crawled out of Roy’s lap much to the archer’s dismay and groaning.

“Where are you going?”

He paused and looked back at him. “I’m not fucking you on my couch, Roy.” He started towards his bedroom. “Hurry up or I’ll start without you.”

Roy rolled off the couch and to his feet as fast as he could.

[lilysdaydreams]

Chocolates

→ Pairing: Corpse Husband X plussize!Reader

→ Request: hello i love you and your writing (firstly) i was wondering if you could write a corpse husband xfem reader who is plus size? i havent seen any of those lol but maybe she gets hate over it and wants to start eating better and working out with him?? you don’t have to if you don’t want to tho!!

→ Warnings: chubby reader, insecure!reader, Body Image issues !!! Swearing, Descriptions of Readers feeling really sad about their body + online hate comments on readers body.

→ A/N: Idk what happened with this. This past week has been hard and I've been really tired but I forced myself to write something. I dont really think its goof but I hope the person who requested it likes it :(((

~~~

You fell into bed, wrapping the blanket around you and rolling over onto your side. Work had been hard today, your manager getting mad at the smallest of things. You could hear Corpse in his streaming room, talking to the viewers. You and Corpse had been together for 2 years now, and both of you had finally decided you were ready to reveal your relationship to his fans. First, you'd simply joined him on stream, talking at some points. Then a few weeks later, he'd posted a photo of him holding your hand and tagged you in it.

Your followers had gone from your 450 friends to 53 000 strangers. And that was only on the first day. You hadn't been on Instagram for a whole week, too overwhelmed about all the attention. It was a Friday today though, so you decided you might as well.

You opened up Instagram and clicked on your profile, eyes widening as you saw the 500k written above followers.

"Five hundred thousand?" You whispered to yourself, not even being able to comprehend the number. Like sure, if you compared it to Corpses 2 million, it seemed small, but it's not as if you did anything! What reason would they have to follow you? You only had two photos posted as well, an outfit photo from your sister's weddings, and one of you drinking a bubble tea.

Quickly clicking on the bubble tea picture, you opened up the comments smiling when the first comment  that caught your eye was "Woah shes so pretty." You scroll slowly, your  smile growing bigger at all the  love that Corpses fans gave you.

"SHES GORGEOUS"

"QUEEN WHAT THE HELL STEP ON ME"

The amount of "CHOKE ME" comments were hilarious.

You chuckled at a few and scrolled again, reading another one.

"Why did he have to pick a fat girl?"

For a second, your heart completely  stopped.

"What the fuck," you muttered.

You quickly clicked on the replies, wanting to see what others had to say. There were people defending you and arguing with the user, and there were others who agreed with them.

“Yes omg do you se ever stomach? Ugh how can Corpse stand staring at that the whole day?”

“Bruh her legs 😂😂”

You sucked in a breath.

You’d never been thin, always a bit chubby and with a bit of stomach fat. You’d been very insecure in high school, always wearing baggy clothes to hide your body, but who hadn’t felt that way in high school. After it though, you’d been okay. You felt happy and Corpse always let you know that he loved your body just the way you were. You were pretty confident normally. Today though... today it felt like all of that confidence has crumbled. You kept scrolling focusing on all the comments that talked about your weight.

Throwing the phone on the bed, you got up and moved to the mirror you have in your room. Grabbing the cloth draped over it, you pulled it off, looking at yourself in the mirror. You can see every flaw the comments talked about. You can see your double chin, your huge stomach, your big thighs. You held your arms up, wincing when you see the fat on them. Your probably looked so bad when you waved bye to someone. Tears now gathering in your eyes, you moved the cloth back over the mirror and then went back to bed, using the pillow to muffle your sobs.

You knew you were being a bit stupid. Random people on the internet and their opinions shouldn’t matter to you. But for some reason, the words had really gotten to you, and all you wanted to do was cry.

A few minutes later, you heard the door open, and knowing it was Corpse, you pushed your head into the pillow even more, not wanting him to look at you like this.

“Babe,” he whispered, coming over and patting you on your back.

“Baby,” he repeated when you refused to say anything and that he could hear was your sniffling. “You okay?”

You sobbed in response and he let out a “Oh” and then pulled you away from the pillow.

You looked down, refusing to look at him because you would look like an absolute mess.

“God I look so bad right now, he’s gonna see me and realise how big of a fat mess I am and leave me,” you thought.

“Hey baby, what’s wrong?” He asked again grabbing you in a hug.

“Was it work?” He asked when you didn’t answer. “or did your mom call again?"

When you stayed silent, he let out a sigh and let you go, getting up from the bed.

You immediately looked up, and asked “Where are you going?" because for a second you felt like it was true.  Maybe Corpse was leaving you because of how disgusting you were.

He looked down at you, startled by your sudden question. "Just to get some chocolate and a blanket."

"No." you said voice shaking a bit from the crying, "I don't want chocolate."

"What babe, what the fuck?" He said softly, dropping back down next to you. "Baby what's going on, just tell me, I can't do anything if you can't tell me."

"You-You know your fans? They're amazing, right?" you finally said, hesitating a little.

"It's just, I checked some comments on one of Instagram posts and there's so many where they're just talking about how fat I am, or how big my stomach is, or how ugly I look," you said, your voice lowering to a whisper at the end.

A beat of silence and then;

"Oh baby noooo," Corpse whispers, grabbing you and pulling you into a hug.

You cant stop the tears from leaking out of your eyes and you bury your head into his shoulder. His hoodie smells like the bodywash he uses, making you calmer in a second.

"Sweetheart, you are absolutely beautiful," he begins, whispering into your ear. "Did you know that when I first saw you, I couldn't even speak? Like I legitimately felt like my mouth had been glued together, I couldn't form any words."

Heat rose to your cheeks as he continued on.

"You were like an angel, literally glowing, and guess what, I still feel like that whenever I see you now. When you come back home and you're wearing that huge hoodie and you just have the hood pulled up because its cold and the little pout on your face, guess what you look fucking gorgeous to me like that. And when you're in our bed, wearing shorts and a crop top with your hair in a bun waiting for me to make popcorn so we can watch a movie, god you look like an angel then okay?"

"Oh ah, when you're on your period, and seriously bloated and eating all the food, you fucking look beautiful to me then as well. Your tummy- Your tummy makes me so happy like look at this soft little baby. And guess what? I fucking LIVE for your thighs and you know that baby, like I will die for them okay? Your ass- well, we both know what I feel about that so I won't say anything." He ended with a chuckle.

You moved back a little, and he grabbed your face and rested his forehead on yours.

Taking a deep breath, he started whispering, eyes locked onto yours.

"Every single part of you is perfect. And I love it. I find you so sexy that I literally cannot breathe sometimes because of your presence. You're amazing and I fucking love you. What those people say on the internet, why the fuck does it matter huh? They obviously can't recognize the absolute fox in front of their faces."

Slowly he wiped the tears from your face, and returned the watery smile that you gave him.

"Chocolates?" he asked, still whispering.

You nodded your head, giggling as he ran to get them.

fin.

[luvspence]

darling, you’re the one i want

spencer reid x reader

{im not quite sure this is how a song fic works but this is basically stolen from paper rings by taylor swift, i’m using the lyrics as like prompt one liner things?????? idk bare with me}

- 1,3,4 are mainly fluff but 2 is a lot of fighting and bickering

——-

i want to drive away with you

“do you ever feel”

you took a pause in the middle of your thought, spencer spun around in his chair to face you

“indeed, i do feel”

“shut up i’m thinking” you said as you laughed and slapped him on the arm

“do you ever feel like, trapped? like boxed in almost”

he chewed on the end of his pen

“i guess? elaborate”

“well, i love my life. i have no regrets. but sometimes i feel like just running into the streets and screaming and keep running and never stopping? just fleeing in a sense”

“yeah, i get that. sort of an intrusive liberating type thought”

“exactly” you said tapping your finger to yourself head, a few seconds of silence passed before you spoke again

“i want to drive away with you”

spencer looked at you in confusion

“you’re all i need, seriously. i love everything in our lives right now i do, but i could go without all of it, besides you”

he rolled his chair up next to your and caught your hand in his

“i’d get up right now, keys in the ignition, and i’d drive into nowhere with you y/n. you’re it for me”

——

i want your complications too

you chased spencer up the stair way

“spencer!”

he turned around

“listen to me would you? every time i open my mouth it seems that you turn off your ears”

“i’m all ears y/l/n” he said, giving you more attitude than necessary, but you were having a hard time getting through to him

“that was unbelievably stupid! you could’ve gotten yourself killed! spencer this isn’t the first time, let alone the second, let alone the 7th time you’ve put yourself in harms way! this is so dumb spencer you understand this shit but you still are reckless! and don’t give me that crap about calculated risks”

you were fuming at him

“so what i’m alive, so is our victim what more do you want?”

“why are you turning this on me? i don’t want shit from you spencer! it’s not what i want! it’s your life! my god i shouldn’t have to justify to my colleague, god to my friend why i care about them being alive!”

“well i am alive. so i don’t know why you’re so bothered y/n it’s like your my mother or something” he said as he continued walking up the stair case

“no, you don’t get to do that. you don’t get to put your life on the line and then treat me like i’m the irrational one. painting me as the villain when i only just care about you”

“why do you care so much?”

“because i’m your friend?! because i love you?!”

he ignored you and resumed walking up the stairs

“you know what spencer? it’s because i love you. it’s because i love you so much that it affects my sleep. so much that i always make you coffee when you come in. so much that no matter what i’m doing, where i’m doing or who i’m doing it with, you’re always on my mind. the problem is spencer, not that i love you, that i’m IN love with you. and even at that you can’t seem to let me in. so i don’t know what the fuck to do anymore”

a tear fell down your cheek as you slammed the door and left

spencer standing dead in his tracks on the stair case. honestly wanting to vomit

-

you spent the rest of your day scream crying. so many emotions that you couldn’t quite process anything

you were laying on your couch, radio head on your phone, dried tears on your cheeks when your heard the doorbell ring

you go and open it

spencer

“hi”

“hi?”

you stood in your doorway, looking at each other with swollen eyes

silence, 2 seemingly frozen bodies

until spencer opened his mouth

“look, i’m sorry.”

“yeah me too”

you were sick of him, sick of how he couldn’t communicate, of how blind he could be. but something about his face was so so good. you were about to shut the door in frustration before spencer started to speak again 

“and with what you said, about the love thing...”

he took a big gulp 

“i do too. i love you too. i mean i’m in love with you too”

what. the. fuck.

between the shock and the upset you were feeling, there was little part of your heart that warmed when he said those words. you opened your mouth to speak but spencer cut you off

“and i just wanted to say that because i uh i owe you the truth always. regardless. but anyway, i don’t think we should pursue that though”

you stood in your doorway in shock

you didn’t know if you wanted to fight him, cry, or vomit

probably all of the above

you were blank, nothing came to your mouth. you tried to speak, tried to scream , but the only thing that came out was 

“what?”

“i’m no good for you, you deserve someone who can be perfect for you. you deserve that truly. and i can’t be that. so i’m sorry but that’s just how it is. i just want you to be happy. you don’t deserve a guy that you have to yell at in stairways, that makes you cry until your eyes swell shut, a guy that cant reconcile his emotions for crap or can’t communicate or anything that i am. so im sorry, but i think this is what’s best for you.”  he stuck his hands in his pants

“so bye i guess”

you were paralyzed, a surplus of information hitting you all at once. you couldn’t quite process it but you knew you couldn’t just let him walk away

“you’re idiotic” you shouted as he was about to get on the elevator

“i’m what now?”

“idiotic. no ones buying the ‘i’m not a nice guy’ crap”

“it’s not crap, it’s true. i’m no good for you”

“oh please spencer you’re acting like this is your villian orgin story. first off, who do you think you even are? i’m an adult i don’t need a white man who doesn’t know how to brush his hair to tell me whats ‘good for me’”

“i’m just looking out for you”

“okay, thanks, but i’m a big girl spencer i know how to take care of myself. and even so i don’t even think thats what this is about. you know what i think? i think that you’re too scared to admit that you don’t feel the same way. which is fine by the way, but if you’re to scared to face the reality of whatever your feeling and youre covering it by turning it on me? by saying that ‘i’m too good for you’ thats fucked up and thats that spencer.”

you caught your breath and continued 

“because spencer i know you’re pulling all this shit about not being good for me but is that even true? spencer reid we’re perfect for eachother. in every way. and if you’re blind to that than whatever, but i don’t want you to lie to try and tiptoe around my feelings”

“ever since you walked into the bau y/n ive loved you. every word you’ve ever said to me get played on repeat in my head. i love you i would want nearly nothing but to be with you y/n. i love you that much. that’s why i’m trying to our myself above what i want and above whatever so that you can be the happiest you can be. it’s just that i don’t want to hurt you. you don’t deserve that. i never want you to hurt ever. and i can only prevent that by taking myself out of the picture”

“spencer, when i said i love you. it means all of you. i want every side to spencer reid. i want your complications too. it’s all worth it spencer because you’re the one for me”

you two stood there for a couple minutes. it was the longest and shortest time of your life. spencer eventually took a deep sigh and stepped in a step closer to you, looking down at your face

red from the crying, left eye swollen shut, giving him a weak smile

“you’re the one for me”

——

i want your dreary mondays

“thursday”

“no?! the worst day of the week is monday obviously”

“monday is underrated in my opinion”

you were conversing with spencer while walking through the park after dinner

“monday is the worst, it’s so hard after the two perfect days of rest to return the mundane process of life”

“sure”

“so thursday? story behind that?”

-

“hey have you seen spence?” you asked around the office, only getting head shakes

it was the monday after a long weekend, and spencer has had a less than ideal day

just woke up on the wrong side of the bed, spilt hot coffee on his pants, forgot his satchel at hole

you searched around for him, when you realized

when spencer was overwhelmed or stressed or sad or anything like that, he retreated to the basement file room

no one ever went down there, and there was a closet with a couch in it that was good for taking mid day breaks

you ran down the stairs, opening the door to the closet and sure enough spencer was there

“hey”

“hi”

he wiped his hand across his face, presumably for a tear

“what’s up spence?”

you said scooting next to him on the closet couch

“having a monday”

“i’m sorry to hear that, what’s going on”

“well besides the coffee incident and satchel problem...” he began to rant about how his day was going less than ideal. when he stopped abruptly

“hey, you don’t need to listen to this”

“i dont have to, but i want to”

“are you sure? i’d hate to bore you with my bad day”

“come on spence, i want your dreary mondays something you gotta recognize, is that you’re such an incredible person, that your bad days are better than most people’s best.”

“yeah, perspective right. my worst days are someone’s best”

“yeah, but don’t ever feel invalidated abt your bad days, you always deserve to feel upset, and i’ll always be here to listen to it”

“god i love you”

—-

wrap your arms around me baby boy

spencer wasn’t a touchy person

germaphobe habits

but something about you, he was magnetic to you

no matter what it was, on the jet, in the office, while in line at the grocery store, anywhere and everywhere he always had you in a hug

coming up behind you while you were cooking, wrapping his arms around the back of your neck while you were working

he adored you, and you adored him

after a case, the team decided to hit the local bar, nearing the end of the night, they started to play slower stuff

slower jazzier beats, the dj came on and said

“okay you couples! get up there”

a few couples hand gone up, you were tugging on spencer’s arm to accompany you up there

“well if you don’t go you know morgan will”

derek raised an eyebrow at him, and before you knew it he was dragging you on stage.

poor spencer didn’t know how to dance correctly, he was standing so far from you. hands in each other’s hands like middle schoolers

“jeez spence, wrap your arms around me”

you grabbed his hands, positioning them on your waist, you wrapped your arms around his neck, and leaned into his chest

swaying back and forth, as the sinatra echoed the other the bar and the click of garcias camera could be heard

and in that moment, nothing felt better or more right, than dancing in spencer reids arms

[mycatshuman]

Wrapped Up In A Rom Com

Chapter 3: Mom?!?!?!?

🏳️‍🌈 First off, happy pride month. Second, yeah I know it's been months. And I've had this in my draft for months. I'm sorry. Honestly, I've been watching a lot of the Dreamsmp and playing games on my phone and preparing for graduation. So yeah. I'll try to get back to writing but I cant promise anything.

Warnings: some swearing, mentions of leeches used as a medical practice, let me know if I missed any

Last | Next | More

🏜

"There it is." Roman's eyes lit up as he saw the temporary house that had been set up for the group of archeologists to live in as they excavated the site. Virgil smiled slightly. Roman looked really pretty in that moment that he wasn't even going to try and deny that he was looking. He dragged his eyes away from the mummy and sighed. "Now we just have to get inside." 

The pair moved up the stairs and Virgil pulled out his key and unlocked the door. "Now, try to stay quiet. Everyone's asleep and I don't know if I'm ready to try to explain this." Virgil paused. "Hell, I don't think I'll ever be ready to explain this to anyone." Virgil and Roman quietly stepped into the house and closed the door behind them. "Sorry, it's a little dark so bear with me." 

Suddenly, with a click, a lamp flared on across from them. The two froze. Virgil looked over and pulled in a hiss through his teeth. His boss sat there in an old armchair, his arms crossed and his mouth pulled down in a frown. "Where have you been?" 

Virgil's eyes shoot down to the floor. "Uhhhhh." Roman looked back and forth between the two, confusion evident on his face. Virgil attempted to inch his way to his room only to crumble to the floor as he put pressure on his injured ankle. 

"Virgil!" Roman dropped to his knees to help catch the other as the other man surged to his feet and rushed to their aid. Roman held Virgil up as the other man kneeled before them. 

"What did you do?" The man asked. 

Virgil winced. "I fell." 

The man paused and raised an eyebrow. "Care to elaborate?"

Virgil bit his lip. "Uh, no. I don't think I do care to elaborate, Logan." 

Logan rolled his eyes. "You are ridiculous." 

Virgil forced a grin that was really more of a grimace. "What happened is even more ridiculous and you wouldn't believe me so…"

Logan leaned forward and pulled off Virgil's shoe and began to unwrap his ankle to take a look at the injury. "Maybe you shouldn't assume whether or not I would believe you." 

"Alright, I went for a walk and fell through the hole of a tomb that is practically completely untouched and I found the burial chamber and then the mummy came to life and now he's here." 

Logan paused in his attendance to Virgil's ankle. "You're right, I don't believe you." 

Virgil groaned. "Come on, Logan! Look at him, he's real. He was a mummy not even five hours ago!" 

Logan huffed. "Honestly, Virgil. That is the most outrageous thing I have ever heard." 

"But it's true!" 

"He's right, I am a mummy, er, I was a mummy."

"I'm offended. Seriously, if you were going to try and fool me you could at least get a convincing actor."

Roman gasped, outraged. "Excuse you! But I am an absolutely amazing actor!" 

"It's not a prank!" 

Roman quickly pulled out a statue of himself he had grabbed from his tomb. "Look!" He shoved the statue into Logan's face, nearly knocking the others glasses off. 

Logan rolled his eyes but took the statue to look at it better. As he adjusted his glasses, he studied the statue before looking up at Roman. "You do look a little similar but that doesn't prove anything. All it proves is you look similar to him." He inspected the statue some more. He frowned. "This is in incredibly good condition." He glanced at Roman suspiciously. "Did you fake this?" 

Virgil groaned and let his head fall back into Roman's chest and whatever Roman was about to respond with just vaporized as his brain short circuited. Guy on chest. Guy on chest. Guy on chest! 

"Logan, why can't you just believe me? Why would I make this up? Why would I sit here and make a fool of myself in front of you?" Virgil sighed and ran a hand down his face. "Whatever." He attempted to drag himself up only for Logan to stop him. 

"Hey, no. I still have to check your ankle." 

The room went silent as Logan checked Virgil's ankle. Roman watched on with curiosity.  

"It's still swollen. Maybe you need to get some leeches." 

Virgil went rigid and Logan froze. "I'm sorry, What?" 

"Wait, do you not use leeches anymore?"

Virgil's nose scrunched in disgust. "No! We've long since moved past that." He shook his head. "I don't even want to begin to think of what else you might possibly suggest for medical problems." 

Logan went quiet as he quickly finished inspecting Virgil's ankle and stood up to go grab an ice pack. The archeologist student frowned. His boss was being uncharacteristically silent. Something was up. When the other came back, he kneeled once again and gently pressed the ice to the ankle. Virgil bent forward and held the pack in place as Logan sat back. 

"I-" The other began before closing their mouth again. Virgil watched Logan hesitantly as Roman poked at the ice pack. 

"It's cold!" The mummy exclaimed. 

Logan shook his head."I-" he sighed. "Virgil, I hope you understand how hard it is for me to grasp this or even entertain the possibility of this. But maybe this is real. But, we're going to have to do tests." 

"Tests?" Roman asked as his attention shot up to look at the other. 

Logan nodded. "Yes, to see if I can find any bit of evidence to support your claims." 

"Great, now can I please go to bed, I'm fucking exhausted." 

"Of course, I'll see you in the morning." 

Logan left and Roman and Virgil were alone once again. The latter huffed before pulling himself up and began limping up the stairs. "Come on, I have a second bed in my room. You can sleep there." Together, they went up to the second floor and down the hall until they reached another flight of stairs. "I'm suddenly regretting choosing the attic as my room," Virgil complained. 

Roman followed, eyes wide as he took in the walls around him. It was so different from what he was used to. And that was exciting. But the hallways were nothing compared to Virgil's room. Inside, he found a desk against one wall and two beds. On the desk there was this strange rectangular silver thing that sat flat against the desk and a small container with small tube-like objects sticking out of it. Next to it, a pad of sorts sat. Roman was so absolutely excited to find out what all of these new objects were. It would be his greatest adventure yet. He just knew it!

----------

Virgil dropped his bag by the door as he limped over to his bed and fell face first into the blankets. Roman yelped. "Don't do that! You'll hurt yourself!" 

Virgil lifted his head up, confusion spread across his face. "What?" He asked before he remembered what the ancient Egyptians used to sleep on. He let out a laugh. "Oh no! These are soft. There's a bedframe, which would be similar to what you used to sleep on but we added a mattress that's soft and it's better for our bones." The archeologist pushed himself up and patted the bed. "Come on, see for yourself." 

Roman set his basket done on the floor and walked over to the other bed curiously. Virgil watched on with amusement. Quickly, the mummy quickly poked the mattress as if it would bite him if he let his finger linger on the object for any longer. 

Virgil laughed lightly. "Don't worry, it won't bite." 

Roman stuck his tongue out at the other before turning back to the bed once more. He reached forward slowly and pushed his hand into the mattress. Sparkles sprung up in his eyes as he felt the soft blankets. Carefully, he climbed up into the bed noting the lack of pain on his skin that used to come with the bed he once slept in before he died. Tentatively, he bounced. Laughter bubbled up out of his mouth and he looked over at Virgil. 

The emo's breath caught in his throat as he caught sight of the Pharaoh's eyes. His dark eyes were overflowing with joy and wonder. He had never seen anything so beautiful. He watched in awe as Roman began bouncing gleefully on his bed, giggles bubbling out into the room. Virgil smiled softly and laid down, perfectly content with watching the greatest treasure from Roman's tomb as he experienced pure joy for the first time in thousands of years. 

-------------

If last night was anxiety inducing, it was nothing compared to this morning. While being caught by Logan was unpredictable as his reactions could range from Disappointed Mom™️ to Unhinged Scientist™️, it was nothing compared to how the resident Dad would react. The resident Dad was none other than Patton Crofters, the polar opposite to his husband Logan. He had met both of them in college. Dr. Logan Crofters had been his Archeological professor. He had often stressed his disdain for puns so when Virgil first met Patton, he nearly choked to death when the other introduced himself with a pun. That was when Virgil learned that his professor hated puns except for when his husband made them. 

The three had grown close, Patton having proclaimed he was his godfather now. It was an interesting friendship. When the two asked if he wanted to join them on their archeological dig that summer, he had jumped at the chance. He quickly learned that Home Dad Patton was different from Archeological Dig Dad Patton. 

Archeological Dig Dad Patton was stricter than at home. He popped up next to Virgil nearly every hour with sunscreen to coat him in and a bottle of water and a snack. He also made sure that Virgil was being very careful when handling anything that could result in him getting hurt if he wasn't careful. Of course Patton was always like that but when at the dig site, Patton was scarily so. And Patton didn't hold back with swear words. Virgil remembered the first time Logan had denied Patton with sunscreen saying that he was busy. Patton had huffed and responded with "Logan Crofters. Stand up right now and put on the fucking sunscreen!" He wasn't sure he had ever seen Logan move so fast. 

Virgil had seen what Patton does when upset with someone and it was harsh. He remembered Logan coming into class one day extremely sad because he had upset Patton and his husband had denied any kisses. Needless to say, Virgil was terrified to see what Patton would say after learning about last night. 

After waking up that morning, he had just laid in bed and stared at the ceiling silently contemplating whether or not hiding under the bed was a good idea as Roman continued to sleep in the bed beside him. And when Roman woke up around an hour later, he was still laying there. 

-------

Roman yawned and stretched his arms as he woke up. Sunlight streamed in through a gap in the curtain. He sat there for a few moments after waking up. The bed was absolutely unbelievable! He had never slept so good! It was so soft and supported his body in a way his old bed never could. If he had had any doubts about living in the future, they were long gone now. Then again, how could anyone have any doubts about the future if there was such a gorgeous man as Virgil to help him adjust to the new century. Speaking of Virgil….

Roman turned to look at the bed beside him to find Virgil already awake. "Virgil!" Roman exclaimed, voice bright as he smiled at the other. "Good morning!" 

Virgil did not move. Instead he continued to stare at the ceiling. "How can it be a good morning? Patton is going to kill me when he finds out about last night." 

Roman's smile twisted into a confused frown. "Patton? Who's Patton?" 

Virgil sighed. "Patton is Logan's husband and resident Dad. Once he finds out I went off on my own AND got hurt, he's probably going to look at me disappointedly and I can not deal with that right now." He pushed himself up only to hiss as pain shot up his ankle. 

Roman's eyebrows shot up into his styled bangs and he quickly hopped out of his bed, rushing to Virgil's side. 

"Are you okay? Is there anything I can do to help?" 

You could carry me to the kitchen, Virgil's mind unhelpfully supplied. He shook his head. No, that is not happening. Pull yourself together, Virgil. "No, I got it." He grimaced as he pushed himself up onto his hands to slide his legs over the side of the bed. Roman watched on anxiously, his hands hovering in the air between them as if awaiting the chance to help the emo. Virgil looked down at his ankle and sucked in a breath through his teeth. "That doesn't look good." 

Roman followed the others gaze down to his ankle and winced in sympathy. Virgil's ankle had swollen up again through the night turning it a nice shade of red as a purple bruise stretched across the skin covering the ankle bone. "Are you sure you don't need any help," Roman asked once again. "That looks pretty bad." 

"No, I'm sure it's not as bad as it looks." Virgil bit his lip and stood up to prove his point...only to yelp loudly as the pressure caused a strong jolt of pain to shoot up his leg. 

"Yeah, I think you should let me help you." Virgil opened his mouth to argue only to freeze. Roman frowned as he heard thumping. "What was that?" The sound quickly became increasingly louder. 

"Oh shi-" 

"Virgil!!!!! Are you okay?!?!?" The door burst open and a man stood there in dark brown pants with an abundance of pockets, a light blue, loose, cotton shirt and round glasses framing warm hazel eyes. The man's face was scrunched up in worry  as their eyes bounced around the room for any immediate signs of danger. Then they landed on Virgil and Roman. The two men remained frozen as the man panted from his run up two flights of stairs. He glanced between the two before his eyes narrowed in on Roman. "Virgil, who is this?" Asked Patton. 

🏜

Everything Taglist: @misery-killed-me @superwholocked-for-life @mirror2thespirit @aroundofapplesauce @lyditist @syanara @unicornofdarknessstuff @alias290 @odette-ssbu @ray-does-stuff

WUIARC Taglist: @underestimatemethatwillbefun @existentialeggdogg @espepspes @meowthefluffy @koalas-in-coffee

If you want to be added or removed from the tag lists let me know

[pkg4mumtown]

Consign Me Not To Darkness (Ch. 2)

Summary: Being trained by the maverick Jedi meant you had a looser view of the code than most Padawans did, but how well would that serve you when no Jedi were taught how to love?

Pairing: Qui-Gon/Reader (Gender Neutral)

Rating: M (to be safe because of Chapter 1)

Warnings: Age Gap, Angst, Fluff, Gender Neutral Reader

A/N: First Qui-Gon centered fic! It’s finally here and I hope you all enjoy. Thank you, Nura, for the request <3.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

The bed was far too cold without Qui-Gon in it. The man was basically a personal radiator for you to wrap yourself around, making his absence all too prevalent. Then, there was the matter of the lack of communication that only made your chest hurt every time you thought about it. Still, you got up for the day, knowing your amount of rest was growing suspicious until you remembered that no one was there to wake you. Meditation probably would have done you well, considering your emotions, but you didn’t want to dwell on them at the moment.

Quite the opposite actually.

A quick snack and extended training session later, you still couldn’t feel Qui-Gon anywhere. On your walk back to your room, you saw Master Windu leaving his own, probably on his way to a meeting.

“Master Windu!” You called out to him to get his attention.

“Padawan, what can I do for you?” He asked once you caught up to him.

“Do you know where Master Jinn is? He disappeared yesterday and didn’t mention where he was going…”

“He asked for a solo mission and left early this morning. He said you had some studies to catch up on to keep you occupied,” Mace recounted. “Will that be all?”

“Y-Yes, Master Windu, thank you,” You bowed to him and back tracked back to your room.

A solo mission? Studies? What a load of bantha fodder!

When you got to your rooms, you immediately tried to comm him, but the signal was never answered. You felt emotion welling up in your throat, something you knew wasn’t a good thing. You tried to take deep breaths through your constricting throat, keeping your tears at bay and releasing your emotions into the force like a good Jedi. It was far harder than it should have been.

That night you slept in your own bed to keep the reminder of Qui-Gon’s absence away.

A tenday later, as you collapsed from another grueling training session, you felt a familiar presence just barely entering the temple. You sat up from the floor and looked around. The room was clean, cleaner than it had been in a while with not much to do but train and clean. Hopefully, he didn’t notice the dark circles under your eyes from a lack of solid sleep.

“Qui-Gon!” you greeted excitedly when he arrived, but instead of greeting you back with the same vigor, he brushed passed you.

“Padawan,” he murmured, dropping his bag near the door.

“Why didn’t you tell me you had a mission? I was looking for you for hours…” you asked but received no answer. He kept walking like he’d never heard you, keeping his back to you. “Qui? I miss—,” you reached out with your arms to hug from behind.

“Stop,” he murmured, his voice cracking slightly. He took a step further from you, “I can’t do this anymore.”

“Do what…?” You asked slowly.

“This anymore. Us,” he stressed.

You heart dropped into your stomach, your throat constricting as if someone had taken all the air from your lungs, “W—wh—hy?

“I cant keep pretending like I don’t hate myself every time I think about this gap between us, Y/N! I’m twice your age!” he leaned heavily against the small kitchen counter, not even having the decency to face you.

“B—but, we’ve talked about this! I don’t care!”

“I know, but… I do. I just—I can’t. If you’re going to break the code, break it for someone younger, someone better.”

“You’re being ridiculous! You said that our love was light! That the Force willed it!” You snarled back, your frustrations starting to manifest rapidly.

“I know what I said, Y/N! Stop fighting me on this!” He growled impatiently. “You have no idea how I felt watching you spar with that other Padawan, like my control was slipping. I’m a Master for Force’s sake. I felt like a disgusting, jealous old man!” Qui-Gon practically spat. “We’re done. I knew this was a bad idea as soon as I reciprocated your confession,” he said dismissively, running a hand through his unruly hair. “I knew you were…too young,” he stumbled over his words as if he was forcing himself to say them out loud for once.

Your chest ached at his words, the emotion continuing to choke you up. You couldn’t breathe or control your emotions. You felt something dark and suffocating simmering below the surface but tried to push it down as far as you could, but it was hard and the rage was threatening to burst from your chest. Your nails dug deep grooves into your palms as you clenched your fists, the pain barely registering through the dark clouding your mind. No doubt, by the way his shoulders tensed, he could sense the darkness through the bond, as well.

If he could affect you like this, then he was right. Neither of you could do this. You were practically choking on the dark side already. You heaved air in your chest and stormed out of the room, only letting your tears fall briefly before you remembered your surroundings in the Temple hallway. You walked aimlessly, or you at least thought you did. With each step away from him, the darkness eased back as you did your best to release the emotions.

You had no idea what was going to happen, now. He wouldn’t go to the Council and accuse you—you had as much incriminating information as he did—though it was his word against yours, but you also couldn’t continue learning under him with the darkness this close, you knew that much.

You stopped, faced with, the newly ranked, Master Fisto's door, a familiar, calming energy on the other side. He was one of the Jedi who had found you long ago, only a relatively new knight at the time, but you had regarded him as an important person ever since, akin to an older brother.

You didn’t even have to knock before his presence slid the door open before you, sensing the distress radiating off of you just on the other side of his door.

“Young one, what’s happened?” His hand came up to your shoulder, his neck bending to look you in the eyes better.

All you could do was choke on another sob and he was not so heartless as to leave you standing there. Kit brought you in for a hug to try and calm you down.

“You need to tell me what happened, your emotions are…” He trailed off, not knowing how to describe them.

“Out of control—I know,” you croaked. You took some steadying breaths, “I…Qui-Gon…I—I love him, Kit. We—”

“Stop…stop, I understand. The less I know, the better,” Kit sighed loudly.

“I don’t know what to do, I can’t go back there, I can’t continue under him. I—I felt the dark side, Kit, I was so overwhelmed…”

“But, you didn’t fall, and that’s the most important part. That is a trial in itself, even if the Council will never know,” he reassured you.

“Can…can you finish my training? I can’t even look at him…” you scrubbed your face harshly.

“I—,” Kit sighed, “We can talk to the Council tomorrow, but he will have to be there to relinquish his duty as your Master.”

You let out a shaky sigh and finally pulled yourself away from Kit, “Okay.” You wiped your face from any more remnants of tears. “Can I sleep here?”

“Be my guest,” he gestured to the spare room.

You let out a sigh of relief, moving toward the room quickly.

“On one condition,” he stopped you in your tracks. “Meditate with me.”

“I don’t want to meditate right now, Kit,” you gritted out, the irritation getting the best of you. Qui-Gon always wanted to meditate the bad away and you didn’t feel like doing anything he would have done at the moment.

“You might not want to, but you need to,” he urged more firmly.

You growled softly under your breath and spun back to face him, “Fine.”

You found a comfortable position on the floor with Kit, feeling his hands grab yours. You let him in, feeling his mind caress yours on the surface, just enough to sense the swirling darkness. His force reeled back slightly when he realized how bad it was, but pressed on, helping you release a lot of your anger. It helped, but it wasn’t a permanent solution. You couldn’t solve everything by just releasing your emotions, you couldn’t forget the words Qui-Gon had slapped you with. As you struggled to work through the emotions, one thing became clearer as the dark subsided: If you wanted to be a Jedi, you had to let Qui-Gon go.

When Kit was satisfied with the darkness being brought down to a simmer, he finally let you up. He couldn’t let you face the Council with that much darkness clouding you. One of them would surely pick up on it.

“He does morning meditation at six, so I’ll go and change then,” You sighed as you made your way to the doorway.

“Do you want me to come with you?”

“I don’t want to trouble you so early, I’ll survive,” you shrugged. “Thanks again, Kit,” you passed through the doorway into his spare room.

After a night of fitful sleep, you blinked your eyes open when the sun was barely coming up. Glancing at your comm, you knew Qui would barely be getting up to head to morning meditation, so you waited another half hour before getting up. He would definitely be gone by then.

“I’ll be back, Kit,” you called out to his closed door.

“Wear something clean, please!”

You heard him shout back just before the door closed behind you. You rolled your eyes at his attempt at teasing, Kit really was your rock when you were struggling; things you wouldn’t dare admit to Qui-Gon during training.

You hesitated before swiping your keycard, seriously hoping Qui-Gon wasn’t still there. Alas, there was only one way to find out. The apartment was eerily quiet as you stepped in, which was a good sign. You made a beeline for your old room, quickly yanking out your least wrinkled tunics and tabards to quickly change into.

You had just finished cinching your obi around your waist when a voice you did not want to hear broke the silence.

“Padawan?”

You froze while adjusting the obi, quickly gulping and straightening our your tabards to make sure they were flat. You offered him no answer, not sure you could actually speak without falling apart.

“Y/N.”

When you were satisfied with your appearance, you finally turned to face him as if you just noticed the tall oaf for the first time. He hadn’t even gone to morning meditation. His hair was still down and mussed from sleep, a loose tunic hastily pulled over his chest, and pants hanging loosely from his hips.

“Oh, Master Jinn, pardon me,” You tried to speak in your best Jedi-like tone, but the waver in your voice gave you away.

“About yesterday…” His eyes were downcast, he couldn’t even look at you yet he wanted you to listen.

“Not to worry, Master, I’ve got it all sorted out,” you answered dutifully, your lip wobbling slightly as your throat threatened to betray your feigned confidence. His brows strung together, his head finally coming up. Qui-Gon’s eyes were just as red and puffy as yours, but you couldn’t be sympathetic when his words had cut so deeply. “I’m meeting with the council today.”

As if you’d just told him you were about to detonate a bomb, his eyes widened comically, “Wai—”

“Not to worry, Master Jinn, the atrocities you’re imagining won’t be discussed. Though, I’m sure they will call upon you for questions, so do try to be in the area,” I plastered on a fake smile. “Now, if you’ll excuse me…”

Before you could push past him he took you by the elbow, making you turn your head away from the contact lest you start bawling then and there.

“What are you doing?” He asked, his back hunched over in your direction, his eyes trying to search your face for answers but you kept your face hidden in the other direction.

“What’s best for me,” you stated and ripped your elbow from his hold. “For both of us.”

You stood in front of the Council with your head held high. Kit stood somewhere behind you, letting you take the lead on the explanation. Your eyes actively tried to avoid Master Yoda’s curious gaze, like he’d be able to read every thought in your head if you so much as glanced at his piercing, inquisitive eyes.

“What exactly are you asking here, Padawan L/N?” Master Windu questioned, his frown deepening with every passing second.

“To be reassigned to a different Master until I’m ready for the trials, Master Windu,” you stated like it was a normal occurrence that Jedi did.

“Under what reasoning?” Master Mundi spoke up.

“No confidence, Master.”

“This is preposterous, we can’t just vote out Masters like senators,” Master Mundi scoffed. “Jinn has unconventional methods that the Council doesn’t agree with, but that doesn’t mean we can just take away his Padawan for seemingly no reason,” he addressed to the rest of the Council.

“I don’t feel that I will be ready for my trials if I continue training under Master Jinn,” which wasn’t a total lie, you wouldn’t, and would be more likely to fall if you stayed with him. “The force has guided me to this conclusion, Masters, it is not something I’m taking lightly.”

“Replace Master Jinn, who will?” Master Yoda hummed.

“I spoke to Master Fisto before the meeting, Grandmaster,” you gulped, staring just past him at the windows.

“Master Fisto?” Windu questioned him.

“I will graciously accept Padawan L/N if the Council wills it,” Kit bowed.

“Talk to Master Jinn, we will,” Yoda hummed, squinting suspiciously at the situation.

“Very well, Grandmaster. I believe you’ll find that he shares the same sentiments that I do.”

Chapter 3

[taehyungs-perm]

strawberry girl pt 5

taehyung x reader; college au; childhood best friends to lovers au; jock!fratboy taehyung

genre: fluff; major angst lol

word count: 16k

summary: i can pretend i don’t miss you. i can pretend i dont care. all i want to do is kiss you. what a shame you’re not here.

Part 1 here ; Part 2 here; part 3 here; part 4

playlist vibes

fuck it i love you | lana del ray 

still with you | jk

la vie en rose | edith piaf 

the remedy of a broken heart | xxxtentacion 

cant help falling in love with you | kina grannis 

sweet night | v

cherry hill | russ

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

All of the days had pretty much begun to blend together. There was no difference between morning and night. You just sat in your room, shades drawn, binging TV shows and movies. After the first night, you began to cry in random spurts. It would go a bit something like this: you would be staring at the cereal swirling in the milk and burst into tears because your heart would just seize up in pain; you would focus on the spinning of your ceiling fan before you would realize the tears were spilling out of your eyes; you would tear up as you scrolled through your camera photos just to see his face. Every ounce of your being missed him but there was no way in hell you could face him, not after that night. 

You had blocked his number when he began to text and call you after a week. You had hoped he would never contact you, but that wasn’t the case. 

Tae: hey

Tae: can we talk

Tae: I’m sorry 

Tae: can we stay friends 

Tae: missed call (5)

Tae: why r u ignoring me

Tae: u fucked it up

Tae: not me

Tae: I’m sorry that was uncalled for

Tae: can we talk 

Tae: pls 

Every time his name popped up on your phone screen, you felt like throwing your phone against the wall. It was after a few days of this when you realized you couldn’t take it anymore. You just wanted him out of your life. It became much easier to deal with the pain once you weren’t bombarded by messages from him.

You laid on your bed, with Gossip Girl mindlessly playing in the background, thinking about him. Before the break started, you and Taehyung talked about all of the things you wanted to do since this was the first time in a long time where it would be you two alone at home: have picnics, go ice skating, watch movies all night. All of that, gone to shit. Just cause you fucking had to tell him about your feelings. 

Your mom had enough of you lying in your bed all day and forced you to get out of your room. It just ended up with you lying on the living room couch all day instead. You had just gotten a copy of “Freedom is a Constant Struggle” by Angela Davis but you felt like your brain was mush and couldn't bring yourself to read it. One morning, your parents tried convincing you to come shopping and get some fresh air but you felt like you had no energy to do so. You laid on the couch, face squished on a pillow, curled up in a blanket, completely not comprehending the episode of gossip girl you had switched on. The doorbell rang and you groaned, barely shifting, not wanting to answer the door. The doorbell rang again and you rolled off the couch, annoyed. You tried peering through the side window to see who was at your door bothering you. Then you heard loud rapid knocks. Ugh who the fuck is knocking at my door and why aren’t they leaving? 

You reluctantly opened the door, still wrapped in your blanket, completely prepared to yell at whoever was annoying the shit out of you, but when you saw him standing there, every thought in your head completely disappeared, your heart completely dropping. 

Your voice broke, “Taehyung?”

He looked at you, peering at your eyes behind his shaggy curly strands of hair, shivering in his jacket and sweatpants, “__________”. His voice was shaking, as if he was scared.

You wanted to slam the door on his face, but the way his big brown eyes were staring at you, full of innocence, you knew you couldn’t bring yourself to do that. You couldn’t help but wonder, did he not get the message? And why does he even want to talk to you? 

“What do you want?” you asked, sternly. 

“Can we talk? please?”

“Taehyung, please, leave me alone. please.” You tried to close the door but he stepped forward and held the door open with his hand.

“You blocked my number. I can't even contact you anymore. Can I just have this at least? Can we just talk once more?” he pleaded. His eyes were filled with a sadness that you couldn’t quite understand. You desperately just wanted to reject him just like he did to you, but you couldn’t. He was and always would be your weakness. Seeing him, standing here in front of you, doe eyed and heartbroken because of your actions made you hate yourself even more. You would rather have your heart broken a thousand times than to see him in pain. 

“Okay. we can talk,” you whispered softly. 

You didn't want to let him in though. You just leaned on the doorframe, staring at him as the wind sent shivers up your spine. 

“Why are you ignoring me again? I told you not to do that. Ignoring me doesn’t do anything.”

“I needed space. And I still do.”

“Space from me?” he stepped closer to you. His closeness made you uneasy. You glanced up into his eyes, and there were stone cold seriousness. You hadn’t seen Taehyung like this in a while. For all the talk of you thinking Taehyung was adorable and cute, he could be just as intimidating. The look in his eyes made you almost scared. 

“Yes.” you breathed out, trying to match his serious tone.

“Are you mad at me?”

“I’m not mad at you, just at myself…because I knew this would happen, but I let myself fall in love with you anyways.”

“I'm sorry.”

“There's nothing to be sorry about. It's just I should have known better. It's what happens to people like me. And this is why I don’t let myself fall in love.”

“___________ don't let this ruin you. Don’t let me fuck up everything you believed in. You’ll fall in love again.”

“Taehyung. I’ve been in love with you for years. I just never had the guts to say it. I dunno if I'll fall in love again because my heart belongs to you. I didn’t choose to give it to you and it fucking kills me to admit it,” you felt tears welling up in your eyes. Your voice began to crack, shaking from the tears, “but my heart is yours and you don’t even want it.”

Taehyung had been staring at the ground, scared to make eye contact with you. But once you said those words, he looked up at you, his eyes trembling, “_________ I like you. okay? Please don't forget that. You're my best friend.”

You looked deep into his eyes and shook your head softly, “Taehyung, Stop looking at me like you want me because we both know you don’t. I know you don’t feel the same way, but I wish you did.” 

“_______ I told you, I just don't know right now. I just don't know how I feel about you but maybe if you give me time I could fi-“

You cut him off, not wanting to hear any bullshit, “Don’t fuck with my feelings just because you’re unsure of yours. I didn’t mean to fall in love but I did. And you didn’t mean to hurt me but you did. Try to understand how I feel.”

Taehyung took another step towards you, his hand came up to your face, resting on your cheek as he wiped a falling tear, “Why do you need space from me? Why do you need to cut me off completely?”

You pushed his hand away, feeling annoyed at his words. All of this was bullshit. Taehyung doesn’t care about you. He broke your heart and he was just acting now. He just pretends to care but really he doesn’t give a shit about you. 

You furrowed your eyebrows in anger, “I just want to fucking get over you okay? Like Taehyung, you have no idea what you do to me. The way my heart goes completely erratic. The way that one look from you is all that I need to smile. I can’t think around you. Because all I think about it is you. I don’t think...I’m capable of being just friends with you. At least not for a long time. Maybe that’s selfish but that’s all I’m asking of you. I’m not asking you to love me because I know you can’t do that. So just give me space.”

He was quiet, not saying a single word. You sighed out your last few thoughts, “You don’t love me the way I love you. And I know you never will. And that’s okay. But understand that just being friends with you and seeing you everyday is a reminder that you don’t love me.”

Taehyung scoffed, kicking his foot against the door frame, “Why did you do that? Why did you have to tell me your feelings? Why did you fuck it up?”

Your lip trembled. You already felt like shit, like the biggest idiot on the planet for thinking he could love you back, and now he was just shoving your mistakes right back in your face, “Why did you kiss me? You keep saying I fucked it up! I didn’t, you did! If you just didn’t fucking kiss me, then this wouldn’t have happened. So why the fuck did you kiss me?”

He took a step back, shocked at your outburst. His voice faltered, coming out weak and soft, “I..I..I dunno. I don’t know.” 

You scoffed, “You want me in your life, but I can’t do that. You’re asking too much of me. You’re asking me to pretend these feelings I have for you are insignificant. Something that can be stored away as if they didn’t matter. But it did matter. To me.” You stepped towards him, feeling a bit reckless but fuck it right? you had nothing else to lose. you just wanted the truth from him. You asked, your voice icy, “Do I even matter to you?”

He looked at you, confused, “Of course you matter to me. You're my everything.”

You couldn't help but let out a cold laugh, “The things you say sometimes make me feel like I actually have a chance with you, but then I snap back to reality and realize I never really did.”

Taehyung looked at you with defeated eyes. You looked at him and saw that he knew he had done things and said things that he couldn’t take back. 

His eyes were now puffy and bloodshot. His voice croaked, “So where does this leave us? We go back to ignoring each other? You pretend I don't exist and I do the same to you?”

You sighed as you walked back to your front door. you turned to look at him before you shut the door close, “It's for the best Taehyung.”

You closed the door, not waiting to see if he had left your porch. You sat on the ground, back against the door as tears collected in your eyelashes. You know you really love someone when you don’t hate them for breaking your heart

———————————————————————————————————

You left later than planned, purposefully just so you could avoid traveling with Taehyung or even running into him by accident on campus. When you got back to school, Hana was out with Jungkook so you began to unpack, trying to distract yourself. You had told her a little bit about what happened, that you told him how you felt but he didn't reciprocate. You definitely made it seem you weren’t as torn up about it as you actually were, avoiding her FaceTime calls so she couldn’t see your bloodshot eyes. 

You slumped on your bed, scrolling through an academic paper you were attempting to read for class but you couldn’t focus. His fucking smile, his fucking laugh, his fucking curly hair, it was all swimming in your mind and you couldn’t stop thinking about him. 

You felt your eyes well up with tears and shut your laptop. You laid down on your bed and buried yourself in your blankets. You drifted off to sleep, exhausted from being so emotionally drained. 

You jolted awake when you felt a hand on your shoulder. 

“__________.”

“Whatttt?” You groaned as rolled over and saw Hana sitting on the edge of your bed. You rubbed your eyes and broke out into a smile when you saw your roommate, “Hana!”

She gave you a hug and gave you a concerned look, “How are you?”

You felt your words get caught in your throat, immediately feeling tears well up in your eyes, “I’m okay. Dunno why I can/t stop crying.” 

Hana rubbed your shoulder soothingly, “You just lost one of your best friends. Your heart got completely broken. It’s okay to cry __________.”

“I’m so fucking stupid. I wish I didn't give him this power to hurt me,” you whispered softly.

“Hey, it's okay ___________. I'm so proud of you. You worked up the courage to tell him how you feel. And what you feel matters, so you shouldn’t feel bad about it, okay?”

You shook your head. You couldn’t even explain your heartbreak to Hana. Because she wouldn’t understand. You wouldn’t wish this kind of pain on anyone. Unrequited love doesn’t just make you feel sad. It breaks you down. It preys on your deepest insecurities and leaves you hollow and empty. Because in the end, it was you. You were the problem, you were the reason why it didn’t work out. It's not even that he was in love with someone else. It was simply that he didn't love you. 

Hana spoke cautiously, “What exactly did he say when you told him?”

You tried to recall but your mind was a bit foggy as you tried to mentally block out that day, “Um, well he said he doesn’t love me that way. And that he was confused about his feelings.”

“He said he was confused?”

“Yea,”

“Hmm. it's a weird word choice but…”

“But what?”

“Im sorry ___________. I'm going to be honest with you, just so it doesn’t hurt more later. When a guy says they’re confused, they probably don't have feelings at all and are just trying to be nice. That's the only thing not complicated about them. If a guy likes a girl, he won’t hide it and say he is confused.”

“I’m fucking crazy to think he was into me” you said, tears slowly rolling down your cheeks.

“Do you still love him?” 

“Yea”

“How much?” 

“Why does it matter?” You retorted coldly, staring at your blankets.

She responded in a soft tone, “Why does it not?” 

You met her eyes, “Because he doesn’t love me back” 

“If you still love him, then you can't be around him right now. But you shouldn’t regret your feelings towards him. I know it doesn’t seem like it right now, but you’ll get through this.”

You fiddled with your hands, trying to steady your breathing, “It’s unfathomable. I can’t possibly envision a future with him loving me the way I want him to. But I can't get rid of this feeling, that somewhere deep inside me, I still have hope that he’ll fall for me.  It’s pathetic really, how much I still hope it’s him and me in the end.”

She put her arm around your shoulder, pulling you into her embrace, “It's not pathetic. You love him, its okay to want him. But I promise you, you’ll get through this, and I'll be there for you the entire time. You are such an amazing person, you are kind and smart and if he can’t see that, then fuck him.”

you laughed humorlessly, “Thanks Hana.” You paused and then whispered hoarsely, “I wish love was perfect as love itself.”

“it will be. Once you find the one. It will all feel so easy and natural when you find your actual love.”

It was silent for a few moments and then she looked at your puffy eyes, “Are you feeling better?”

You sniffled and nodded, “I’ll be fine.”

“How do you know that?” she asked seriously. 

You glanced at the window, seeing the rain droplets slide down the window pane, “Because my whole life I’ve been in love with someone who doesn’t love me back. It’s nothing new.”

“Boys are fucking stupid” Hana said, shaking her head.

“So fucking stupid.” 

———————————————————————————————————

Hana did her best to keep you distracted, walking with you to class, eating meals with you, hanging out with you on the weekends, always going to the library with you. Jungkook tagged along most of the time but only after Hana asked you if it was okay. Seeing Jungkook did remind you of Taehyung, but his presence didn't bother you too much since he was always cracking jokes to make you smile. 

You didn't see Taehyung around campus at all. It was like he was a ghost, completely gone from your life. It almost made it worse because then you yearned to see him, just to see his cute smile, to hear his adorable laugh. You missed his annoying headass personality that made your heart flutter, you missed the way you could talk to him about anything and everything because he actually listened, you missed being the person he could trust the most to talk to about his feelings. 

Sometimes you got these heart aches, you could physically feel yourself falling apart at the seams. And it just hurt. It hurt to breathe, to think, to feel. And you didn’t know what hurt the most: The fact that he wasn’t in your life anymore and you won’t ever see his doe eyes and boxy smile again or the fact that you weren’t enough for him and that you’ll never be enough for him. 

 The pain of him just not being in your life was worse than you could ever imagine. Then, that combined with the realization your love was unrequited made you feel like you weren't ever going to get through this. 

You sat on the first floor of the library with Hana, working through some biology worksheets to prepare for class. Hana was talking to you about the new boba place on campus, “They have the best green milk tea.”

“Damn I miss boba. I haven’t had it in so long.”

“Lets go right after this. They have a bunch of flavors.”

You nodded, feeling weirdly excited for just boba. 

“Hi” you heard a voice say.

You looked up and saw Jennie. 

“Hi?” you said, very confused. 

She smoothed out her pink tennis skirt and sat down on the seat next to you, “Can we talk?”

“About?”

“Him.”

You glanced at Hana, who was also clearly uncomfortable. You really didn't want to talk to her about Taehyung but Hana gave you a small nod.

“Fine.”

Jennie looked at Hana uneasily, “Can we talk alone?”

You crossed your arms defensively, “Anything you have to say to me, Hana can hear it too.”

Hana put her hand on your shoulder reassuringly, “It’s okay. You should talk to her alone. I'll be by the vending machines in the back. Come and find me when you're done talking.”

She got up after giving you a smile.

You sighed deeply, facing Jennie, “So what’s up?”

“What happened? With you and Taehyung?”

“That's literally none of your business. Did he tell you something?”

She looked concerned, “No. Well. Kinda. Not really. After we all got back to campus, Taehyung didn't text me or call me. Which is strange because he usually calls or texts around every two weeks or so to hook up. But once we got back, he didn't respond to any of my messages. So I went over to his dorm.”

“And?”

“And he looked like shit. Like he hadn't slept or showered or eaten properly. I tried asking him what happened but he just told me to leave and not to come back. I ran into Jimin on the way out. He said you two had a falling out and Taehyung has been a wreck since. Tae has barely left his room, only for school and soccer and thats with Jimin and his other friends forcing him to.”

What? What was going on with him? Was he really this affected by your friendship? That didn't make any sense you guys had only recently become friends. Surely he could easily just resume his lifestyle to when you guys weren’t close. 

You looked at Jennie, “I told him that I loved him. And he said he didn’t love me. I said we couldn’t be friends, at least not for a while. I guess he didn't take it well.”

You thought Jennie would just laugh in your face or say “I told you so”, but she didn't. She pulled you into a side hug, “Oh honey, I'm so sorry. I’m sorry. I know how it feels.”

“Did you ever tell him how you felt?”

She laughed softly, “I didn’t. I was too scared. I knew he would reject me. I guess I was scared of losing him, even just as a fuck buddy. So I just quietly pined over him from a distance.”

You chuckled, “You and me both.”

“I kinda admire that you had the guts to tell him how you felt. If he didn't have feelings for you, there's no possible way he ever liked me.”

You scoffed, “I'm sure he has feelings for you. You're so beautiful. And nice. And pretty. There's no way he didn't like you.”

“__________, you know you're beautiful too. I was actually always jealous of you.”

You were completely shocked, “Jealous of me?”

“Yes! No matter where we were, you could always get Taehyung's attention without even trying. I had to literally climb on top of him to get him to even think about me. Sorry about that by the way.”

“You don't have to be sorry about that. It's not a big deal. Honestly boys are so fucking stupid. I don't know why we let him use us and hurt us so much.”

“Exactly. I hope...we can be friends. Like for real.”

You nodded, “I'm sorry too. I was kinda a bitch to you.”

“Like you said, it's not a big deal. that's all in the past.” 

Jennie got up and smiled at you. She paused for a moment, looking at you carefully, “By the way, you mean a lot to Taehyung. I know you're upset at him right now but maybe you can consider being friends with him in awhile.”

She stalked away leaving you in your thoughts. It was still too soon. But you felt better. Some of your sadness that you felt for yourself went away, transforming into a sort of anger and annoyance at Taehyung: he used girls like you and Jennie all the time and would play with their feelings just so he could feel good about himself. Fuck boys. 

———————————————————————————————————

You were sitting on the picnic benches near the soccer field like how you used to do, but now Taehyung doesn’t come and sit next to you. The peacefulness of being outdoors allowed you to finally focus on your work without any distractions. As you were studying your statistics homework, you heard someone call your name. You looked up and it was Jimin's smiling face.

“Hey ___________!”

“Hey” you said quietly. You were a bit surprised to see Jimin talking to you. You kinda figured whatever friendship you two had was gone once you and Taehyung stopped talking.

“Are you doing the stats homework?” He said walking over to you, both his backpack and soccer bag slung over his shoulder.

“Um yea,” you said, shifting uneasily. Why was he talking to you? If he was here to talk about Taehyung, you were going to get up and leave. You really weren’t emotionally or mentally prepared to talk about him with one his closest friends.

“I was actually having some trouble with the assignment. Could you help me with it?” He said, dropping his bags on the picnic table.

“Uh sure I guess,” you mumbled out as he sat next to you. Jimin gave you his signature beautiful smile and you felt terrible because all you could offer was your half hearted one. He pulled out his notes and you began to help him with a few of his questions. 

Being around Jimin was actually immensely helpful. He successfully distracted you with his cute jokes and charming personality. After about an hour or so, you realized you should be heading back to your dorm so you stood and began to pack up your things. 

“___________?”

“Yeah?”

“I was wondering...” he looked a bit nervous, giving you a shy smile, “I was wondering if you want to get dinner together tomorrow?”

You blinked. Was Park Jimin asking you out? What? What the fuck was going on?

“You want to get dinner...with me?” You asked, confused.

He laughed, “Yes I want to. Do you want to...with me?”

Was this a prank or something? Did he want something from you? 

“Wait is this like a study dinner thing with a group?” You asked, very unsure.

Jimin chuckled again as he ran his hand through his brown hair, “No _________, this isn’t a study dinner thing with a group. I want to get dinner with just you with no studying involved.”

You fiddled with the end of your hair, trying to process what he was saying, “Is this a date or...” 

“It can be whatever you want. It can be two friends getting food together or it can be something more.”

“Jimin...I dunno. I don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea” you said, thinking of Taehyung.

He put his hand gently on your shoulder, “If you’re upset about Taehyung, I get it. But that’s why I said it can be two friends hanging out.”

You thought about it and pursed your lips. Why do I give a fuck about what Taehyung thinks? He made it clear that we are just friends and that he has no feelings for me. Honestly we aren’t even friends anymore so I don’t give a fuck about what he thinks.

You slung your bag over your shoulder and smiled at Jimin, “You know what? You’re right. We can hang. Just text me later.” 

You wanted to feel confident and happy that you were trying to move on and make plans with people instead of laying in your dorm room bed all day but there was still a nagging feeling of hurt and longing in your heart that didn’t know would ever disappear.

———————————————————————————————————

You wanted to feel the same butterflies you always felt whenever you saw Taehyung, but as you stepped out of your dorm and saw Jimin leaning against his black Audi, wearing sunglasses and a black tee tucked into black skinny jeans, you didn’t feel anything.

He smiled at you, “Hey __________. You look cute.” Again, nothing.

“Thanks. You look pretty good yourself.” You retorted playfully. 

He opened the car door for you and you sat in the car, immediately getting flashbacks to Taehyung's birthday party and how he took you for a joyride in this very car. You smoothed out your black pleated skirt and picked at your leggings hoping you would get distracted and not reminisce over the happiness you felt sitting in this car with Taehyung. 

You and Jimin chatted quietly about your days and your classes before you realized he had parked in front of a small restaurant.

“I actually have been meaning to go here for a while, but never found the time. Or the right person to go with,” Jimin said with a teasing smile as you walked into the restaurant.

Sometimes you would forget that Jimin was just as much as a fuckboi as Taehyung except with more braincells but then he would tease you, just like Taehyung used to, with flirty jokes and seductive smiles and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at his antics.

As you slurped on your ramen noodles, you found that you and Jimin had more in common than you realized. 

“You watch Gossip Girl?” you said widening your eyes when he lit up at your off hand comment about re binging the show over break.

“Of course! Nate is my literal inspiration!” he exclaimed with a huge smile.

“Nate?” you thought about it for a moment and then continued, “Actually, he’s definitely the least problematic one out of everyone in the show.”

“And…he definitely has the best style.” Jimin added as he sipped his water.

you talked a bit about his winter break and his adventures in europe. 

“So did you go with your family or..” you asked, curious.

“I went with some friends from home. I wanted to get some of the BTS guys to go with me but we decided to go on a group trip for spring break.” 

“Where did you go in Europe?”

“Um, I went to England, then France, then Germany.”

“Oh wow. that's a lot of places,” you commented, a bit surprised since break was only two weeks.

“I dunno. I think traveling is such a great way to relax I guess. Going to new places and experiencing new cultures with friends.”

“That's valid. I guess in my head traveling gives me stress. So did you go sight seeing or just kinda wandered around the city?”

He chuckled, a light blush coming to his cheeks, “Uh, kinda, I guess.”

You wrinkled your eyebrows, not understanding why he was getting flustered, “What? What did you do?”

He ran his hand through his hair, catching a glimpse at how silky his dark brown locks were, “Well, it was like 25 percent sightseeing historical buildings.”

“And the other 75 percent?”

“Sightseeing night clubs” he said laughing.

“So you went to Europe to go to clubs?” you said trying to stifle your laughs.

“In my defense, European clubs are way different so there’s that.”

You raised your eyebrows at him, “And?”

“And what?” he said leaning forward on his arms.

“What about the European girls?”

“Oh fuck off,” Jimin said, averting his eyes and laughing.

“What else should I expect from Park Jimin? European vacation for clubbing and girls.”

“Dude, you make me sound like I'm Chuck Bass,” Jimin countered, his face a complete shade of pink, fully embarrassed at your teasing.

After you two paid for your meals, Jimin walked you over to a cute little cafe next door. You excitedly picked out a slice of strawberry cake, desperately wanting something comforting after feeling alone for the past month while Jimin ordered a coffee. You tried to pay for your own cake but of course Jimin wouldn’t hear of it and paid for it, insisting it was the “gentlemanly” thing to do (you had to roll your eyes at this). 

You two made your way to a picnic table in front of the restaurant, sitting underneath the bright fairy lights hung up outside, giving just enough light in the darkness of the night. He sat across from you, sipping his coffee. You opened up the box that contained the cake and smiled, remembering the good memories you had attached with it. You brushed your hair behind your ear and took a bite.

You offered some to him which he accepted.

“___________, I'm not sure if you want to talk about this yet, but I just wanted to ask how you are doing? Like for real?”

You sighed. You figured he was going to ask you about this at some point tonight, “Okay I guess. I mean not great but i'm going on. It’s whatever I guess” 

“It's not whatever. I'm really sorry that happened to you. It hurts, doesn’t it?”

You nodded softly and whispered out, “It does.” 

You were scared to ask but you knew you couldn’t go home tonight without asking Jimin, “How is he?”

He set his coffee on the table, “Not good. He misses you. A lot.”

Your heart broke at his words. You wished he just told you that Taehyung didn't give a shit. That he was doing great and that he was still fucking Jennie and didnt even notice that you weren’t in his life anymore. 

Part of you didn't believe his words, “Nah. I'm sure he’s fine.”

“No __________ he isn't. He doesn’t go out anymore. He just goes to class and soccer practice. That's it.”

You closed your eyes, processing what Jimin was saying. Why is he so upset? He broke your heart. He made you cry. He made you feel worthless so why is he acting like this? 

“Does he know you’re hanging out with me tonight?”

“Uh no. But I didn't want him to get the wrong idea. You said this was just as friends so there’s no reason for me to tell him and have him get all worked up about it,” Jimin said, shrugging his shoulders. 

You nodded, resting your hands on the picnic table, trying to take deep breaths to calm your nerves.

He stood up and sat next to you, his legs touching yours. He reached over and took your hands in his, “I don't know why he’s so torn up about this whole situation, especially since he broke your heart. I tried telling him that you need space and that it's completely fair of you to not want to be friends for now but he always dodges the conversation. I'll try talking to him again.”

Your voice cracked as you looked at Jimin, Thank you. For being a good friend. For listening to me. For caring about me.”

He put his arm around your shoulder, pulling you into his embrace, “Of course. I just really want you and Taehyung to be okay. Both of you are my friends and I care about you guys a lot.” 

Jimin dropped you off at your dorm and told you to call him if you ever needed anything. You gave him a weak smile and went back to your room, feeling slightly okay.

You laid on your bed and checked Instagram since you hadn’t looked at it in a while. You noticed Jimin had something recently posted which was kinda odd because he rarely posted on his Instagram story and you were just with him. You clicked on his story and your eyes widened when you saw it was a picture of you captioned with a single purple heart. 

It was a photo he took of you sitting across from him at the picnic table. You were smiling at the strawberry cake in front of you. You couldn’t clearly see your face since your hair was somewhat covering it but if anyone knew you, it was very obvious. You were worried for a moment that Taehyung would see it before you remembered you two weren’t on speaking terms anymore. Well, its a cute picture and I had a good time with Jimin tonight so who cares? you thought, shrugging your worries away. 

———————————————————————————————————

The next morning, you woke up feeling better than you had in a long time. The weight that you had been dredging around for the past month or so had felt lighter. You grabbed your baking basket and some strawberries from your fridge, finally feeling the excitement to bake in a long time. You also wanted some time to think; a lot had changed since you came back home from break and you wanted to properly sort out how you were feeling about the whole situation. 

You tied up your hair, and laid out the ingredients to make strawberry muffins. You thought about Jennie as you mixed the flour, baking soda, and salt together. She was hurt too. You never really thought about how she felt in this whole situation, but in her own way, she was dealing with her own personal insecurities. She wanted Taehyung too and you had him in a way she never did. 

You were glad that you two were on friendly terms now because she was a sweet and kind person once you got to actually knowing her. You felt upset at the way Taehyung treated her. He knew her feelings and yet he continued to play with them, just like he played with yours. After hanging out with Jimin, you were also heartbroken to hear that Taehyung’s behavior hadn’t improved. You wanted him to recover just like you were. 

But it seemed like he needed you. And you didn't need him. You wanted him, that was for sure. But you didn’t need him because you were moving on. Each day it was getting easier to breathe and to think clearly. You began to mix the eggs, milk, and vanilla extract into the dry ingredients, slowly stirring as you thought. You paused and realized that you felt empty. Like your heart had finally gone numb. 

As if it were finally exhausted of the roller coaster of emotions you spent with him: anger, jealousy, nervousness, love, happiness. Your heart burned and burned and then suddenly turned to ice. You mixed the chopped up strawberry pieces with flour then added it to the batter. 

It felt nice, not feeling completely overwhelmed with emotions. You thought about what Hana had told you when you came back, that if he couldn’t recognize your worth, then fuck him. And then suddenly you cared even less.  Because the only person’s validation you needed was your own. You evenly divided the batter into 12 equal portions in the muffin tin. You popped the tin into the oven and sat down on the empty chair. 

You didn't need Taehyung's validation, you didn't need his love, to feel complete. You were complete on your own. You still had sadness for him, you still wanted him, but after these past few weeks, you came to the realization that you were enough and that pining and sitting in your room all day, waiting for him wasn’t going to do you any good. You breathed out softly, trying to reassure yourself, “It's going to be fine.”

———————————————————————————————————

“You’ll really come?” Hana asked excitedly.

You were sitting on your bed, relaxing as you attempted to proofread your essay. 

“Ya, I will. I’m not really making any progress with this essay right now. So I'll come.” Hana had been trying to convince you to come to a party all day and you had finally agreed. It had been a while since you went out, especially with the whole situation with Taehyung going on, you rarely left your room. But now, you were feeling much better emotionally and mentally. 

You got ready with Hana, opting for a simple jeans and sweater because it was still cold outside. 

She told you that the party wasn’t at the BTS frat and it calmed your nerves a little. Even though you were feeling better, you didn’t know what you would do if you saw Taehyung. It was still too soon. The wounds he left still hurt. 

“EXO parties are always fucking insane,” Hana raved as you two entered the frat house.

“Why?” you asked curious

“Cuz they rarely have parties but when they do, they go all out.” she said smiling as you looked around. Your eyes widened when you saw a huge tower of beer cans stacked in the middle, a DJ at the front of the house, and several stripper poles.

“What the fuck…” you mumbled as you looked around. 

“Jungkook is here somewhere.” Hana muttered as she led you through the enormous crowd. 

She found Jungkook in the kitchen by drinks, talking with Yoongi and Hobi. The second Jungkook saw Hana he pulled her into a deep kiss. You were really happy for Hana but it stung. Would anyone ever love you like that? You sighed and said hello to Yoongi and Hobi. 

“How is it going _________. Haven’t seen you in awhile.” Hobi said, smiling widely. 

Yoongi elbowed him in the stomach and whispered loudly, “Bro, shut up.”

You laughed awkwardly, “It's okay. I'm fine. just been doing school stuff.”

Yoongi gave you a soft smile, “I'm glad you are doing well. I know it's all complicated but I hope we can all still be friends.”

You nodded, “Of course.”

 Hobi handed you a drink, “Try this.”

You looked in the red solo cup and it was a blue colored drink, “What the fuck is this?”

“There isn’t any alcohol! It's just a blue Hawaiian punch mixed with sprite.”

“That sounds like a heart attack in a cup.” Yoongi said, utterly confused at the combination. 

“I'm telling you, It's good. Try it _________.”

You took a sip and it was very sweet, but not bad tasting. “It's decent. Not terrible,” you said nodding. 

Jungkook came over with Hana wrapped in his hard, “Guys I heard that EXO got strippers for tonight. That’s fucking insane.”

Hana punched his arm and Jungkook exclaimed, “Owww. I never said I was going to do anything about it. Just stating a fact.”

You were laughing at Jungkook’s pure stupidity when someone caught your eye. Your heart stopped. Of course he was here tonight. All his friends were.  You hadn’t seen him since that day on your porch. Then you saw his arm wrapped around her. Then the sadness that was in your heart immediately bloomed into anger. What the fuck? All this fucking talk of not wanting a girlfriend yet he was here with her? 

Hana put a hand on your shoulder, “Do you want to leave? We can go.”

You shook your head, “I'm fine.” 

“I can literally beat his ass right now if you want,” She said aggressively.

Jungkong squeezed Hana’s shoulder, “That's my Hana, lovely and scary.”

You gave her a weak smile, “I'm okay. For real. I just need you to be here for me. Thats all.”

You hadn’t spoken or seen Taehyung since that day on your porch. He looked sad. You could tell. You knew him better than anyone else in your life. He was putting on a mask, pretending like he was happy. But you could see it, the hollowness in his cheeks, the fact that he hadn’t shaved because of all the stubble on his face, his curly hair now long and unruly because he hadn’t gotten a haircut in awhile. He was wearing a simple white shirt tucked into a pair of jeans (unfortunately he still did look hot but you weren’t going to admit that) 

He walked up to you guys with Jennie by his side. He gave you a glance but you didn't meet his eyes, quickly looking away. Jennie gave you a small wave and you returned it. It was kinda ironic because before you would focus on the fact that Jennie was with him but since you guys were friends now, you fixed your annoyance on Taehyung. 

Taehyung and Jennie were talking to the group casually but about five minutes into the conversation, you couldn’t handle it anymore, pretending like everything was fine when it really wasn’t. 

You slowly left the circle and leaned on the drinks table behind your group of friends, exhaling deeply.

Jimin walked over, grinning with his beautiful smile, “Hey”

He leaned against the table, standing right next to you, “Hi”

“Shitty party right?” Jimin said, chuckling.

“It just became shitty” you said, sipping your drink, eyeing Taehyung.

“I don't why he came here with her. He literally hasn’t properly spoken to her or seen her since last semester,” Jimin said sincerely.

“Ya well I don’t give a fuck. He can do whatever he wants. We aren’t even friends anymore,” You said harshly. 

You and Jimin chatted a bit, and you almost forgot your annoyance at Taehyung. Then he walked over, with a stupid smirk on his face, “Excuse me __________ could you move? You’re standing in front of the drinks.”

You glared at him as you sipped your drink cooly, shrugging your shoulders, “Sucks.”

He towered over you, giving you an intimidating stare, slowly biting his lip, “C’mon _______ don’t be a bitch. Just move/”

Jimin stood up straight, “What the fuck did you just say to her?”

Taehyung gave you a cold laugh and raised his eyebrows teasingly, “Wow __________ you really need him to fight your battles?”

You knew that Taehyung was pissed at this point but you wanted to push his buttons further. You spoke in a calm tone, knowing that would make him even more annoyed, “I don’t, but he does have something called manners which is something that you could use.” 

He leaned his face close to yours. You felt his breath tickling your neck as you got a whiff of his cologne, “Aww, I think you’re just salty _________” 

You took a step towards him, not wanting him to get the satisfaction that he could intimidate you, “What could I possibly be salty about?”

Taehyung gave you a cocky smile, “Maybe that I’m here with Jennie. It must sting a little.”

You clenched your jaw. He had stepped over the line now. You knew exactly what he was trying to imply, that he had moved on with her. You were mad because he was once again just using Jennie for his own douchebag reasons. You looked Taehyung directly in the eye and scoffed, “You’re a fucking asshole.” 

He put his hands up defensively, “Calm down _________ no need to make a scene.” 

The amount of anger that flared in you in that moment was unprecedented. You wanted to embarrass him. You wanted to humiliate him. You wanted him to know how you felt right now. 

Then an idea popped in your head. You gave him a small smile and spoke in a sweet, innocent voice, “Oh my gosh you’re right Taehyung. I shouldn’t make a scene.”

Then you dumped your entire blue drink on his white shirt and smiled. Taehyung's eyes widened as he looked at his ruined shirt and Jimin gasped in shock. The second you dropped your drink onto Taehyung, Jennie turned around and laughed at what you did. Taehyung's eyes met yours and you realized you might have gone too far. His eyes were dangerous and dark. But if you were going to be honest, it felt really fucking good to do that. 

You shrugged and said sweetly, “Oops” 

Taehyung growled, “What the fu-“

You crushed the red solo cup you were still clutching against his chest and let it drop to the ground, “Calm down Tae you wouldn’t want to make a scene, right?”

You smirked at him and walked away. You could hear Yoongi and Hobi laughing while Jimin was trying to apologize for your behavior. 

Hana was able to find you on the couch a few minutes later.

She was laughing as she sat down next to you, “___________ that was so fucking hilarious.”

“I knew you would appreciate it.”

“It was good. I thought it was funny.”

You knew something was up because she had a concerned look in her eyes

“But...?” You asked cautiously 

“How long is this going to go on between you and Taehyung?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean you guys used to be best friends. Are you guys just going to hate each other from now on?”

“I’m not the one who needs to make amends. He was an asshole to me.”

“Both of you need to make amends. You guys just need to talk. I’m not saying you guys should be besties again or anything but I think you guys need to learn how to be civil with one another. This shit can’t keep happening every time you see each other.”

“I’m not talking to him Hana.” You said forcefully.

She sighed and got up, defeated. After a few minutes she came back with a huge smile.

“Oh my gosh __________ I need to tell you something!” 

“What?”

“We need to go somewhere private. No one else can hear,” She said tugging you from the couch.

You tried asking her questions as she dragged you but Hana wouldn’t budge.

She opened a door that revealed to be a closet and said, “Perfect. Let’s go in here.”

Hana pushed you in the closet and closed the door behind you two.

“Okay what’s going on Hana?”

She glanced at her phone as if she were waiting for a text or something, “oh um so...Jungkook told me that he loves me.”

“Really? Oh my gosh! Well, how do you feel about it?”

“Oh I told him I loved him back.”

“Did you mean it? Do you actually love him?”

“Of course! He’s kinda stupid but he’s so caring and he loves me so much.”

You wrinkled your eyebrows, confused, “Okay so what’s the problem? Why did you drag me into a closet to tell me this?”

Her phone buzzed, “I’ll be right back __________. Jungkook just texted me. Just stay right here, don’t leave.” She said as she left the closet, leaving you in the darkness.

You tapped your foot impatiently wondering what Hana was up to.

You heard hurried, rushed voices and then the door of the closer swung open. You heard a very familiar deep voice exclaim, “What the fuck Jimin? Why are you pushing me Into this closet?” 

The closet door slammed shut. 

You rolled your eyes, “You have got to be fucking with me.”

“___________?” Taehyung asked from the darkness next to you. 

You banged on the door, “Hana I swear to god let me out right now.”

You heard her muffled voice, “No! You guys need to talk!”

Taehyung pounded on the door next to you, “Jimin I’m not fucking around. Open the door. Now.”

Jimin's voice sounded strained, “I’m sorry guys! But this is good for you! You guys need to figure your shit out.”

You sighed, leaning against the door, “I hate both of you.”

Taehyung whispered out hoarsely, breaking the silence “This is your fucking fault.”

You turned to face him, shocked at his accusation, “My fault? How is this my fault? You were the one being a complete douchebag!” 

“You dumped your drink on me!” Taehyung exclaimed, pulling at his now blue stained shirt. 

You stabbed your finger in his chest,“You were the one who was being rude first!”

“You went out with my best friend!” 

You went quiet. What? Is he talking about Jimin? That was a while ago and even so, he has no right to care about who I go out with!

“Are you talking about Jimin?” You asked, annoyed.

“Who else posted you on their story with heart captions?” he scoffed.

“First of all, it's none of your business who I spend my time with. And second, not that it even matters, Jimin and I are just friends.”

He taunted, “Yea I’ve heard that one before.”

“Why the fuck do you even care Taehyung? We aren’t together, we aren’t even friends.”

He paused, trying to think of an answer, “Whatever. I don’t care. Do whatever you want. I just thought you were better than that.”

“Better than what? I'm so confused. I dont get why you are so angry with me. If anything, I'm the one who has the right to be angry right now.”

“You? Why do you get to be angry?”

“Because you broke my heart! And you're shoving it in my face. You're literally mocking my feelings. First you told me that my first kiss didn't matter, that it was only a kiss and I was making too much of it. And now you're here with Jennie, asking me if I feel jealous of her! Like how the fuck should I respond to that? All of your shitty actions made me realize that you don’t give a fuck about me and my feelings. I’m moving on from you Taehyung. You don’t want my love so I’m trying to move the fuck on. Isn’t this what you want?” You gasped out, holding back the tears forming in your eyes. You just had to let it all out, all of your hurt feelings that had been building up for the past couple of months. 

He wasn’t looking at you, just staring at the wooden floors of the closet, “I dunno. I just never thought you would just start talking to new guys already. I thought you wanted love.”

“I’m not the romantic you think I am. I’m not looking for someone to make me complete or to make me feel like I’m worth something. I am complete on my own and I know my worth. I just want to be with someone who can give me the same amount of love and appreciate I have finally figured out how to give myself.”

He made eye contact with you finally, “So what, we’re just going to cut each other off? Completely? Don’t you want me?”

You breathed out, leaning against the door, “I want you but I want you to want me too. I fucking miss you all day every day and you can’t even imagine how pathetic it makes me feel because I don’t even know if you miss me back.”

His shoulder brushed against yours, his voice hoarse, “I've been a shitty friend. I'm sorry. I am really, really fucking sorry. We shouldn’t have kissed. I shouldn’t have kissed you. I don't regret it but I regret what it did to us. I regret how I acted afterwards. I’m so immature. I don't have feelings for Jennie. The only reason why I came tonight is because she told me you were coming. And I knew I just had to see you. But then when I saw you with Jimin, I just felt so jealous. Because that should have been me, we should have been here tonight, hanging out. But I fucked up. You told me you wanted those moments to be meaningful and I stole it from you. And that can’t be replaced. You deserve better than me, okay? But I want you back. I want us to be friends again. Because I’m fucking falling apart without you. I miss you so much. Please, can you forgive me? Can we be friends again?”

You looked into his huge brown doe eyes and your heart did a flip flop. Fuck I still love him. Even though pretending to not love him was exhausting, completely having him out of your life hurt a thousand times worse. God you were the biggest headass on the planet. 

You cringed at your own words, “Yea Tae, we can be friends.” 

He pulled you into a huge hug and didn't let go. You could feel your heart breaking in your chest, you could never tell him how much he’s hurt you. 

———————————————————————————————————

You felt like you were getting a literal migraine because of the deja vu you were experiencing, again. Pretending to be friends with Taehyung while secretly pining for him. It had been around a month or so since you two had reconciled and agreed to be friends again. 

But you still found yourself staring at him for too long when you sat at the picnic benches to do work, you still found your heart beating too fast whenever he would lean in close to you, you still found yourself in love with him. 

However, it was different this time because there was no ‘what if’ or ‘maybe’. He didn't love you the way you wanted him to. If you were going to be honest, you did appreciate knowing this. It made it easier to try to move on. Taehyung did have one thing wrong: you weren’t talking to new guys. Your method of moving on consisted of trying to remember the hurt things he did to you to stop yourself from falling further in the pit of despair. But for him, you could pretend like you were happy when you were actually sad; for him, you could pretend like you were strong when you were actually hurt. 

You were pretty sure he thought you didn't love him anymore. He acted completely normal around you, going on as if you two hadn’t had the biggest fall out in your friendship. It helped, you guessed, pretending. It was something you were both good at. 

You were sitting on your bed when your phone buzzed. It was a snap from Taehyung. You opened and groaned when you saw his snapchat. Taehyung had the infuriating habit of sending suggestive snaps. It was almost always a blurry selfie, very clearly indicating that he was shirtless (he told you he didn't see a reason to wear a shirt if he was in the comfort of his own room). You couldn’t help but feel your heart skip a beat when you caught a glimpse of his well defined collarbones. It was so on brand of him, to tease you like this. Luckily, he did have something actual to say and it wasn’t just a shirtless snap. 

He added the caption r u busy Saturday.

There was a nagging thought in your head that you had something planned on Saturday but you couldn’t remember. 

You snapped back a picture of your ceiling uhh I don’t think so.

Right away he responded (with another blurry selca) come to the soccer banquet w me

Oh shit. The soccer banquet. You had completely forgotten. Jimin had told you about the banquet last week while you two were waiting for biology class to start. He asked you if you wanted to go with him. You said maybe but Jimin told you that Taehyung was planning on asking you. Going with Jimin immediately sounded like a better option. You really just wanted to maintain some sort of distance from Taehyung, it made it easier to ignore the heartbreak. You ended up agreeing to go with Jimin as friends. 

you typed i kinda forgot but jimin actually asked me to go w him and i said ok.

he sent a clear picture of his face, his curly hair looking very fluffy oh, ok. have fun.

Fuck he was definitely mad. You nervously bit your lip, thinking if you should go with Taehyung and cancel with Jimin. 

You: taehyung just asked me about Saturday. He seemed kinda annoyed that I was going w u

Jimin: ah that makes sense. I just walked into the kitchen and he was eating my leftover dumplings.

You: I don’t want him to be upset. 

You: ugh maybe I just won’t go

Jimin: he just gets pouty sometimes it’s not a big deal

You: what if he shows up w a date? idk if i wanna see that

Jimin: it'll be ok. He might not even go anymore. I’ll tell u if he says anything 

You tried to occupy yourself with homework and studies so you wouldn’t frantic over the banquet. By the time the banquet day rolled around, Jimin heard nothing from Taehyung. He tried to reassure you that there was little chance Taehyung would actually show up since he hadn’t talked to any of the BTS members about it.

Hana also tried to calm your nerves as she helped you get ready but she had to leave you a bit early so she could help Jungkook (apparently the man was incapable of knotting a bowtie). She told you that she would finish her makeup and get dressed at his room so she would see you there.

You stared at yourself in the mirror, trying to think in positive thoughts. You were attempting to follow through on your mindset change and trying not to only focus on your insecurities. You combed through the loose waves in your hair, adjusting your soft pink tulle skirt. Jimin texted you that he was outside so you left your room quickly, just wanting for this night to be over already. 

He flashed his gorgeous smile at you, opening the car door for you, “You look so pretty __________.”

You gave him a weak smile, knowing he was just saying that to be nice, “Thank you Jimin. You look good too. I like your sunglasses.” 

He walked around to the other side of the car and drove to the banquet. Once you got there, you realized this event was insanely fancy. Since the BTS guys won the championship, they were essentially the guests of honor, with a few other teams receiving recognition for their own achievements. Jimin explained to you the different awards that would be presented tonight and told you a bit about the other teams. When he kept on droning on about the different roles of the midfielder position, you glanced around the large hall, a bit bored from Jimin’s monologue when you spotted him. I thought he wasn’t coming! He was alone, hands shoved in his pocket, walking coolly.

You internally groaned when you felt your heart skip a beat when you saw his fluffy hair. He was wearing black slacks, a soft pink collared shirt, and a white coat jacket with a black carnation pinned to it (191029 Taehyung). Once again, your thoughts immediately ran to “oh shit he’s hot.” His eyes met yours for a split second and you pretended not to see him, turning to listen back into Jimin’s lecture on soccer. 

After 15 more minutes of explaining the technicalities of shooting a goal, Jimin patted your shoulder softly, “I’ll go get us some drinks. I’ll be back.” 

You nodded at him and looked for Hana. You saw her sitting at a table with Jungkook so you walked over, not wanting to bump into Taehyung. 

“Hey!” She said giving you a hug. Hana looked stunning as always. She was wearing a deep red, long silk dress with a slit running from Her upper thigh.  You saw that Jungkook's bowtie matched her dress. 

You smiled at her, “How do you get prettier Hana? It’s not fair for the rest of us plebs.”

“Shut up. You look gorgeous. Trying to impress someone tonight?” She said teasingly, looking in the direction of Jimin.

You chuckled “oh no. We’re just friends. He asked me here as friends.”

She looked unconvinced, “Rightt.” 

You heard a voice go “ahem” behind you. You turned around at the sound of the familiar voice and saw Taehyung smirking at you. 

“Hey _________”

“Oh. Hey. “ You said nonchalantly.  

“Where’s Jimin?” Taehyung's eyes sparkled mischievously .

“He went to go get me a drink. He’s such a gentleman.” you said, trying to push his buttons a bit. 

He smiled, playing along with your game, “Of course. Except for the fact that he’s never had a steady relationship. And that he’s even more of a fuckboi than me.”

You rolled your eyes, “Taehyung you should probably go back to your date.”

He leaned in close, his breath tickling your neck and whispered huskily “You’re cute when you're jealous.”

Your face immediately reddened and you got up hastily, “Jimin’s probably waiting for me.” 

He pulled your arm back to face him, “If you must know, I came alone tonight. The only girl who I wanted to go with conveniently already had a date for tonight.”

You retorted back, snarkily, “If you must know, Jimin asked me properly, not the day before and through snapchat.”

You stormed away, infuriated at your own feelings and how you easily could fall for his one liners. You found Jimin talking with Namjoon, his girlfriend, and Yoongi. He smiled when he saw you, “Oh sorry. I just got a bit caught up. I have your drink.” He gave you a clear glass with a pink liquid, “It’s punch. No alcohol. Don’t worry.” 

Namjoon was talking about how he did not want to TA for biology lab next semester since the experience was a bit traumatizing, dealing with frantic and stressed out students at very inconvenient hours (you definitely being one of those students). Yoongi berated him for even signing up for such a draining job along with soccer and studies.

You spotted Taehyung from the corner of your eye, slowly inching into the conversation, first talking to Yoongi then Namjoon and his girlfriend. 

You were trying to focus on what Jimin was saying but you found yourself listening in Taehyung's conversation. 

You overheard him talking casually, “Yea I’m thinking about shaving my head. It’s just my hair has gotten way too long and curly. I can’t manage it” 

Your heart stopped. Not the curly hair. You were literally obsessed with his hair, and he knew it.  

You burst out from across the conversation, “Oh my god don’t touch your hair!”

He smirked and winked at you and you closed your eyes in embarrassment: you gave him exactly what he wanted, your attention.

Yoongi laughed “Damn __________ really likes your hair then Taehyungie. Guess you can’t cut it now.”

You felt your face redden even more when Jimin laughed at Yoongi's comment. 

Ugh Taehyung was pushing all your buttons. You walked away, annoyed at his behavior. You found a spot where there were little to no people and leaned on the cool marble wall, just observing the party from a distance. You saw Jungkook and Hana on the dance floor. Once again, you couldn’t help but feel a tad bit jealous. You wanted that and you wanted it with Taehyung. Hana threw her head back in laughter as Jungkook attempted to dance with her. 

“He’s always been shit at slow dancing,” You heard the voice behind you say. You already knew he would come and find you. He must want something otherwise why else would he be following you around like a lost puppy dog?

You didn't bother to look back at him, “Yea this is like the fourth time he’s stepped on Hana’s toes. I'm surprised she hasn’t kicked him in the shins yet.” 

You felt his shoulder brush against yours, “It's bound to happen at this rate.”

You laughed softly about to say something but you found yourself getting interrupted. 

A pretty girl that you didn't recognize came up to you two, extending her hand out to him, “Taehyung right?” 

He smiled sheepishly, shaking her hand awkwardly, “Uh yea. Sorry I don't know who you are. We didn't hook up right?”

She giggled, “No we didn't. I'm actually from Central University.”

“Ooh the rival school.”

She nodded, “Yep. I just wanted to introduce myself. I’m Yuna. If you're ever at Central for a game, you should totally let me know.”

You rolled your eyes, once again you found yourself in a situation where Taehyung was blatantly flirting in front of you. You blew on a dangling strand of hair that covered your eye. 

“Um sure. I'll let you know.”

She put her hand on her hip, “Great. Just dm me on Instagram.” She then walked away, completely ignoring the fact that you were standing right next to Taehyung the entire time. You couldn't help but feel insecure: why would she expect someone like Taehyung to be with someone like you? It didn't make sense. That's why she thought she could flirt with him and pretend like you were completely irrelevant, because you were. 

He looked at you, “Wow that was kinda weird.”

You crossed your arms, “Was it? I mean she just wanted to flirt with you.”

“She was flirting with me?”

You blew on the strand of hair again, “God you're dense.”

He shrugged, clearly not wanting to get into it, “Wanna dance?”

You shook your head, as you began to watch Jungkook and Hana again, “Not interested.”

“Not interested in dancing? Or not interested in dancing with me?”

“Both I guess.”

“So if Jimin asked you to dance, would you say no?”

“Why does it matter if it's Jimin?”

“It's just a question,” Taehyung said defensively. 

Your tone came out accusatory, “If it's just a question, then why do you care so much about the answer? Why are you following me around? Do you want something from me?”

“I don't want anything. I just want to talk to you. I just don't get why you came here with Jimin and not me. Is he your boyfriend or something like I just don't understand. Why did you choose him over me?” 

You looked over your shoulder and you found him staring at the marble, hands shoved deep in his pockets. You wanted to shout “I did choose you but you didn't want me” but you saw the hurt look on his face and simply sighed deeply, “I didn't choose anyone. He just asked me first.”

“Okay.” He paused for a moment then looked at you, “I'm sorry for being pushy.”

“I’m sorry too. I'm just tired. I didn't really wanna come here tonight. And I guess I feel kinda shitty.”

He looked up, “Why?”

You spoke softly, “I didn’t get to come here with the guy I really wanted to.”

Taehyung’s eyes met yours and the corner of his mouth lifted up in a smirk, “There's my strawberry girl.” 

You rolled your eyes at him, “You're so annoying.”

“Nope. I heard it. You said I was your first choice. You must not really think I'm annoying.”

“I think you are extensively annoying.”

“Hey! At least I didn't throw gatorade all over you.”

“I already said sorry for that! And for your information, it was blue hawaiian punch and sprite. And Hobi made it. So if anything you should be getting mad at him.”

“Alright, next time I see him, I'll throw blue hawaiian punch at him.”

“Go ahead. I will not be stopping you. But I will also not be responsible for him dislocating your shoulder.” 

He winced in pain as he rolled his shoulder, “Ugh, he doesnt need to that since I already dislocated the stupid thing myself.”

You wrinkled your eyebrows in concern, “Why? What happened? What did you do?”

He laughed nervously, “Well, Jimin was trying to teach me how to do like a front roll and I kinda ended up putting too much weight on my right shoulder and it fucking hurts every time I move it.” 

“Did you go to the nurse? Did you ice it? Have you taken tylenol or ibuprofen?”

“Um, no, no, and no”

“What the fuck Taehyung! Why didn't you do anything? Did you not tell anyone?”

“Uhhh, no I didn't tell anyone”

You punched his left arm, “Why not?”

“Ow! Don't dislocate the other one!” he rubbed his arm where you punched him, “Because…I didn't want anyone to worry.”

“Well I'm worrying right now!”

Then he had the audacity to give his boxy smile to you, “I know and it's honestly pretty adorable.”

You crossed your arms and scoffed, “Oh my god, you are insufferable.” 

“It's not a big deal ___________ .I'll be fine.”

You asked, “Are you in pain right now?” 

He massaged his shoulder and winced again, “Eh it's fine. I can manage.”

You pulled his arm, “Cmon lets go. Let me take a look and see if it's actually dislocated and if it's bad we can go to the nurse tomorrow.” 

“Where are we going?” he said trailing behind you.

“Lets just go back to your dorm. It's closer and I'm betting you have more medicine than I have.”

You made your way through the crowd before remembering that you should probably tell Hana you're leaving, “Uh Taehyung, can you get the car and meet me by the front? I just need to say bye to Hana really quick”

He nodded and let go of your hand.

You glanced around the hall and saw Hana by the drinks with Jungkook and some of the other guys. 

You walked over to her, “Hey Hana! Im gonna leave now.”

She looked around and then giggled, “Ooh are you leaving?”

You nodded, not sure what she was trying to imply.

She laughed again, wriggling her eyebrows, “Are you going to leave with him?”

“Um..” You didn't want to tell her that you were leaving with Taehyung because she would not let you do that but you didn't want to lie to her, “Uh um actually I j-“

She cut you off, “Oh my gosh I'm so excited for you. Jimin is so sweet. Have fun!!” 

You thought about clarifying the situation to her but it was whatever now. You would explain in the morning. 

As you walked away, you turned around and saw Hana smiling widely and Jungkook giving you a thumbs up. God this is so embarrassing. But you didnt know what was worse: having them think you were going to have sex with Park Jimin when you really weren’t or having them realize you were going with Taehyung, your unrequited love. 

You walked out of the building and found Taehyung in his car, waiting for you. You quickly got in, not wanting anyone to see you and he drove away. 

He pulled up to the frat house and he led you to his room. For once, you didn't feel anxious. You were only here to see if his shoulder was okay. And then you would leave to go to your dorm. And not think about how much you wanted to kiss him. 

You raided their medicine cabinet and found some Tylenol and some muscle pain reliever cream. 

You re-entered his bedroom and saw him facing his closet, back towards you.

Your mouth went dry when he took off his white coat and began to unbutton his shirt. He removed his shirt to reveal his honey colored skin. 

You quickly looked away when you heard him unzipping his pants. God why is he so comfortable with taking off his clothes in front of me? You tried to distract yourself with your phone but you couldn’t help but peak. He pulled on a plain navy blue short sleeved shirt and remained in his forest green boxers. He walked over, messing with his curly hair, and sat down on the edge of the bed, right next to you. Now you started to feel your heart pound again, his closeness was making it hard for you to stay calm. You hated the effect he had on you. He could make you nervous without even trying. 

Taehyung spoke, chuckling, “Are you okay? Your cheeks are kinda pink.”

“I’m fine. Now let me just see your shoulder.” 

You slowly pressed on his shoulder and he groaned in pain. You bit your lip, thinking about what to do. 

“Can you um take off your shirt? I just want to see if th-“

He excitedly took it off, “You don't have to ask me twice.”

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes. You tried to focus on his shoulder and not get distracted by his really attractive body. You scanned his shoulder and found a huge bruise on the back of his shoulder. 

“Okay so good news I don’t think it's dislocated. There's just a huge bruise here. Which I cannot believe you didn’t notice since it’s the size of my hand.”

“Well your hand is small so..”

“Shut up. Anyways, I think you just have to leave it and let it heal on its own. You can put this cream on and it can help with the pain and also take Tylenol.”

“Can you put the cream on me? Please?” he whined.

“God you're so an-“

“I know I know I'm annoying. Now pleaseee!”

You put some of the cream on your hand and put it on his shoulder. 

“Done.”

“You didn't even rub it in!”

You really were not interested in rubbing your hands all over his chest, “Taehyung, can't you just do it?”

“It's literally on my back I can't reach it! Pleaseee!”

You huffed, annoyed at his puppy dog eyes that could literally convince you to do anything. You slowly rubbed the cream on his shoulder, trying hard not to think how soft his skin felt, how toned his body was, and how his body was literally radiating so much heat, making your entire face flush.

“Your hands are literally so soft __________. I should hire you to do massages for me.”

You chuckled nervously, trying to hide your blushing face, “Well for you it would be $1000.”

You wiped your hands on a napkin, “Anyways, I should go. I'm sure you’ve got someone to meet.” You started to get up, but he pulled you back next to him.

“I have nothing to do. Just sit with me. We never hang out anymore. I mean it's usually never just the two of us.”

Why the fuck does he have to do this? Why is he still acting so flirty? Doesn't he know it hurts me? 

You felt the anxiety building up in your heart, you just really, really fucking wanted to get over him. You sat on the bed, a little too close to him for your taste.

“Can I tell you a secret _________?” he said leaning back on his bed, pulling on his shirt.

“What?”

He gave you his iconic teasing smirk, “You were my first crush.”

He was yours too. Kinda pathetic right? You loved him since 3rd grade and here you are, so many years later, still in love with him.

“I didn't know that,” you said, adjusting your sitting position. You rested your head comfortably against the headboard, crossing your legs.

“Yep, I had a crush on you in second grade. And third grade. and also fourth. Then in 5th grade, all the boys collectively decided girls were gross so I had to pretend I didn't like you.” He said, scooting so his shoulder was pressing against yours.

You chuckled, “I remember that. You told me I had cooties and that we couldn’t hang out anymore.”

“Yea I was kinda stupid then.”

“Just then?” You said teasingly.

He ruffled his hair, “Okay I’m still kinda stupid. But I got better with girls.”

You felt a pang to your heart. He got better with girls and fell out of his crush for you because he probably came to the not so surprising conclusion that there were so many other pretty girls. Obviously his crush on you was because you were just children, nothing that actually meant anything real. His feelings for you were absolutely none existent now. You had to keep reminding yourself of that. 

“Is that why you used to pick flowers from the neighbor’s garden for me?” You said, recalling your younger days with Taehyung

He nodded, laughing “Yea I didn't really know how to impress you but I noticed you would always talk about how pretty their flowers were. And thus the romancing began.”

“I appreciated the flowers for sure, not so much all the teasing.” You were fiddling with your hands, recalling how Taehyung used to pull at your braids or do stupid things like get detention just to get your attention.

Taehyung shrugged, “Don't you know ____________ that's how boys flirt. They tease the girls they like, just so they can see them blush and smile.”

“Hmm I guess. Jungkook did that to Hana a lot, and he honestly still teases her. it's so cute.” 

“Hey! Whenever i tease you, you just punch me or call me fucking annoying.”

“It's different.” 

“How?”

“Cause you're not flirting with me. You're just teasing me cuz we’re friends. So its different.”

“What if I told you that I tease you to see that cute blush on your face?”

This was getting too much. You couldn’t take it. He was doing the same exact shit again. You couldn’t handle being his friend if he was going to act like this. You knew Taehyung was a naturally flirty person but it was different now. You had actual feelings for him and he didn't so all of this teasing and flirting was just shoving your heartbreak back into your face. If this friendship was going to last, you needed to set some boundaries with him. The old you wouldn't have done this. Before, you would have just brushed it off, ignoring all of his flirty comments. But you were going to put yourself and your feelings first now. 

You spoke seriously, “Taehyung, I can't be your friend if you're going to act like this. You can't flirt with me okay? Friends don’t flirt with each other. Friends are just friends and nothing more. This is what you wanted so please make this easier for me.”

The mischievousness and the dangerous flirtiness disappeared replaced with your weakness, his innocent huge doe eyes, “Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't realize.”

You stared at your hands in your lap, “It's okay.”

You looked at him and gave him a reassuring smile. Taehyung slowly bit his lip and leaned his face close to yours, “Do you still like me?”

You were taken aback by his closeness, “Of course I like you, I mean we are still friends.”

He leaned in even closer, his nose touching yours, his breath tickling your neck, “No, I mean do you like me, like me? Are you still in love with me?”

Your heart was beating out of your chest, you felt like you couldn’t breathe, he was so close to your face. You couldn’t lie to him, he would know right away. Looking deep into his eyes, you softly nodded.

He broke into his boxy grin and licked his lips, his gaze dropping to your lips, “Good, because it will make this a lot easier.” 

Then he kissed you. Hard. He pushed you into the pillows on the bed, his legs planted on each side of your hips, his body pressing into yours all while kissing you deeply. Your entire body was electrified, buzzing. It felt so good again, so comforting, so natural. One of his hands traveled to your face, cupping your cheek while the other pressed into the curve of your waist. Your hands immediately twisted into his curls. His lips were warm and soft, just like you remembered. He softly bit your lower lip and you gasped, providing him an opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth. You couldn’t help but moaned against his mouth when you felt his tongue. Taehyung rasped into your ear, sending shivers through your body, “Fuck you’re beautiful.” He pushed his chest against yours, kissing you deeper as if he was trying to get closer.

You broke the kiss, the flavor of strawberry still tingling on your lips, completely out of breath, your heart hammering. You looked up at him hovering above you, his lips swollen from kissing you, “Tae, what..? I’m confused. I cant be your fuck buddy or something. I have feelings for you and I know you don't lo-“

He stopped your sentence by kissing your lips softly and slowly. He pulled away slowly, his eyes dancing with excitement. He kissed your cheek sweetly. He spoke, his voice deep and melodic, “I love you ____________”

Your eyes widened in disbelief, you laughed nervously as you sat up properly, “No, no, you don't love me Taehyung. You don't have feelings for me. You told me that.”

He settled next to you as he took your hands in his, “I told you that I was confused and that I wasn’t sure. I never said that I didn't have any feelings for you.”

You shook your head, remembering what Hana told you, “Taehyung if you said you were confused, it means you didn't have feelings. People say they are confused when they are trying to be nice. If you had real feelings for me, then you wouldn’t be confused, you would know that.”

His words came out as a whisper, “I know it now. I know I love you. All these years, I grew to be in love with you and I think I fell in love with you but I didn’t realize it until you told me how you felt. I realized once you weren’t in my life anymore, everything felt different. I didn’t realize I loved you until I did. And I don’t love the idea of you. I love you. Your smiles, your laughs, the way you say fuck in every sentence, The way you call me headass. I love you more than you could possibly understand.”

For the first time, you were completely speechless. You looked around and blinked a few times just to make sure that you weren’t in a dream. Actually what would be worse is if he took it all back. Just like how he did with the first kiss. You were literally on cloud 9 and then he broke the reality to you that he didn't have feelings for you.

He spoke again “I don't know if this is too much right now but if you want I can give you space. i can give you time. I can give you all the time in the world because I'll wait for you.  Cause frankly the way that I see it, you and me? We’re Inevitable.”

 Your hand came up to his cheek, “Taehyung, are you being serious? Are you telling me the truth right now? Do you actually love me? I just…I don't know what I would do if you didn't mean every word you just said right now.”

“I'm sorry _________. I was scared of my feelings. That's why I acted the way I did. The way I feel about you is like nothing I’ve felt before, so I was scared. And I was confused. But I do love you. Everything that happens to you matters to me. You're worth everything and more to me. And I want this. I want you. So badly.”

Your heart swelled, you couldn’t think properly not only because he kissed you but also because of his confession that you waited for since high school. You cupped his cheek and whispered hoarsely, “Kiss me…please.” 

Taehyung then rolled on top of you, pinning you underneath him. He gave you a smirk that made your heart skip a beat and pressed his soft lips against yours once again. He went slowly this time as if he were trying to memorize your lips. Your hands wrapped around his neck, trying to bring him closer to you. The hand on your waist traveled to the outside of your thigh and he slowly wrapped your leg around his waist, pushing his body into yours. He pushed his tongue into your mouth eagerly, and his hand on your leg slowly traveled up your body just until his thumb grazed the underside of your breast. You unconsciously arched up into his touch as your breath hitched at the contact, never having been touched there before. He growled softly, “Fuck, you’re such a good girl.” 

You whimpered as you melted against his plushy lips. His lips left yours as he softly kissed your jaw. Your heart began to pound, you knew where this was going but you were scared. You had never done this before and he had dozens of times with much more beautiful girls. Your anxiety began to crawl over your mind and you exhaled uncomfortably. He felt your body tense so he removed his lips from your jaw. 

He spoke softly, “Hey, are you okay? We don't have to do anything. We can just sit on the bed and chill.”

You tried to control your breathing, “No it's not that. I want to but…I'm nervous. i've never done this before. and you have. a lot. with much more pretty girls. I just…I’m scared..I have no idea what I'm doing.”

Taehyung kissed your cheek, then your forehead, then your lips. He looked deep into your eyes, “You’re beautiful, you know that? Like ridiculously stunning. It's honestly not fair. But I also want you to know I love you for you. The way my heart skips a beat when you talk about what you're passionate about, the way you know what exactly to say to me, the way you aren’t afraid of calling people out on their bullshit. You're my dream girl. Also don't worry about not knowing what to do.  Let me take care of you.”

You nodded softly, your heart completely elated at his words. You had never felt like this before, so loved, so wanted, so warm, “Okay.”

 He slowly began to trace his lips along your jaw and neck, sucking and biting softly with the hot and open mouth kisses. Your mind was completely hazy as you sighed deeply, heart racing. You heard him whisper “mine” into your skin in between kisses and soft bites. 

He made his way back to your lips. You uncontrollably moaned into his lips when he licked into your mouth. Taehyung groaned softly, “Fuck you taste so good.” He bit on your lower lip again when his hips pressed into yours. You moaned his name breathlessly, your cheeks completely red, feeling embarrassed at how desperate you sound. 

He stopped kissing you for a moment and you realized you were completely out of breath. You looked up at him, his pupils were completely blown, his curly hair a mess, a glint of adoration in his eyes. You tugged at his shirt, “Can you take this off?”

Taehyung kissed your forehead, “Of course princess.” He pulled off his shirt and looked at you with his sincere eyes, “Whenever you want to stop, we can stop, tonight is about you.”

You nodded, knowing he would immediately pause whenever you started to feel nervous or anxious. Your words tumbled out when you saw his defined golden body, “You're so hot”

He immediately cupped your face, pulling you in for a needy kiss. He broke away for a moment, “I’ve waited so long to hear those words from you.”

You smiled shyly, “I've always thought you were hot. I just never wanted to tell you.”

He kissed you softly, “What else do you like about me? What do you love about me?”

You tried to hide a smile, looking up at him, “um..”

He gave a fake gasp, “Um?!”

Your cheeks twinged red and you began to ramble, “Sorry! I know what I love about you but it's hard for me to pinpoint. I love just everything. Your personality, you're so kind and sweet and gentle and you make me feel like I matter. You listen to me, like actually listen and care. I mean you're the one I think about as I lie awake at night. I also love how yo-“

He cut you off with a kiss and pulled away delicately, “You are so cute.”

You anchored one of your hands in his hair and one around his neck, pressing your lips against his, warmth coursing through your body. Your eyes rolled back as his hips rolled against yours. He whispered, his voice low and husky, “Fuck, you’re so needy for me.” He continued to place open mouth kisses on your lips, his hands remaining your waist, pressing into your body. 

You trembled as you moaned breathlessly when you felt his fingers slip underneath your shirt, skimming  the waistband of your underwear. You couldn’t stop panting into his mouth. you felt his breath tickled your neck, nipping gently, when he praised, “You're being so good for me.”

You were completely intoxicated in his touch, sucking on his bottom lip, responding to his praises with soft moans of his name, with one leg of yours wrapped around his waist.

“Tae.”

“Yes princess?”

“I want you.”

“You have me.”

“No I want you, want you.”

His eyes blinked in realization of what you were saying. He kissed your lips softly again, one hand on your cheek, the other twirling your hair, “Are you sure?”

“Yes”

“Just because you say yes now doesn’t mean you can't say no later. So whenever you want to stop, we stop.”

You nodded, reassuring him you would definitely let him know if you wanted to stop. But you knew you wouldn’t want to. You had wanted this so badly for so long. You trusted him completely, he was your best friend and the only guy you had ever loved. 

Taehyung flashed his boxy smile at you. He tilted your chin as he kissed you deeply. He spoke in his deep voice, sending trembles through your body,  “I can’t wait to fucking wreck you.”

———————————————————————————————————

You tapped your foot impatiently, waiting by the entrance of the building, leaning on the cream colored column. 

He was late. Of course he was late. Even though you reminded him this morning about your plans together. You looked at your phone for the third time in the past ten minutes. No text yet.

You heard the rumblings of thunder, indicating it was going to rain soon. You sighed and stepped into the building, tired of waiting for him. You placed your purse in the x-ray and stepped through the scanner. You walked around and found a bench in front of a large photograph depicting two modestly dressed women looking at each other on beige steps. You stared at the photograph for a few minutes, wishing that the person who would appreciate it the most was here next to you. You felt a tap on your shoulder so you looked to your right and then heard his voice from your left, “Hi.”

You crossed your arms, annoyed, “You're late.”

His curly hair was messy, and he was still breathing heavily as if he just ran all the way here. He sat down next to you and he kissed your cheek, “I know, I know. I'm sorry. I got caught up with Jimin. We were playing smash and then I forgot about the time.”

“Taehyung, I planned this because it was something you were excited about.”

He cupped your cheek, “I know and I thoroughly appreciate it. You're way too good for me.”

You couldn’t help but blush, “Shut the fuck up. I'm mad at you.”

“Aww you're adorable.” he smirked at you, “Nice hickey, by the way,” 

You gasped, clasping your hands over your neck. You felt your face heating up, scandalized by his actions,  “Taehyung! I told you not to make it so visible. This is so embarrassing.”

“Sorry but not really. I like seeing you blush.” He tugged on your arm, lifting you up from the bench, “Now c'mon, lets go look around. It's not everyday I get to walk around a photography museum with my girlfriend.”

After spending a few hours walking through each and every exhibit in the museum, you were thoroughly exhausted. Taehyung held your hand as you walked out of the museum. It was getting dark, with the soft light of the street lamps giving a warm glow. it was sprinkling, giving the air a cool misty tinge. 

Taehyung sat on the wooden bench facing the gardens outside the museum, and pulled you onto his lap. It started to rain harder but the pitter patter of the rain drops on the cobblestone was comforting, reminding you of home. He looked at you with his huge eyes that were sparkling in the dim moonlight. 

You smiled, “What?”

He returned your smile, “Nothing. I just can't believe I get to date my best friend.”

You tried to hide your smile, “You're so mushy.”

He leaned in close to you, “What? I can't say romantic things to my strawberry girl?”

You pressed your lips against his, warmth coursing through your body. He whispered softly, “Your lips are so soft, I could kiss them all day.”

You smiled against his lips, kissing him once more.

“___________”

“Yes?”

“I want you to know, It was always you. You’re my beginning and my end.”

You rested your forehead against his, feeling his hands planted on your hips, “From the moment you called me strawberry girl, I knew it was always you.”

Taehyung looked at you with concern in his eyes, “Are you sure?”

“Sure about what?”

“About loving me.”

You leaned away to study his face, “Of course I’m sure. Why do you ask?”

“I’m scared...that you might love me now but in a few years you might hate me...you might fall out of love with me...that you won’t want me anymore. What happens if you see a side of me that makes you not want me anymore? I can’t help but wonder what I will do if you don’t want me.” 

You cupped his face in your hands, speaking seriously, “I’ll always want you. I’ll always love you. I always have loved you. Even when we fight, even when we say horrible things to each other, we somehow always make our way back to each other. I know you, I’ve seen every side of you good and bad and I want it all.”

He held your hands that were pressed against his face and said gently, “It’s kinda hard for me to put into words but I love you in ways I have never loved anyone else.”

You rested your forehead against his, letting the rain tickle your cheeks as your lips pressed against his.

author’s note: i love the rain aesthetic; its so comforting and romantic (esp the idea of kissing in the rain) anyways thank you to everyone for reading. i really, really never thought anyone would be reading my writing, much less relate and invest in strawberry girl so thank you to everyone who has been following along w the story! i wanted to make the mc as realistic as possible and insecurities is something that we all have to face. bts has been such an important symbol of self love and im so thankful for that bc theyve changed the lives of so many armys! im rambling lol ty for reading and i hope you all enjoyed the final part of strawberry girl. 🥺💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

tags: @fleurmoon @tangledsparkles @chocolatebelievercrusade @brokenobserver @ncitydreamies @soulstaes @bonnyskies @thelilbutifulthings @busansgloss @imluckybitches @xlectrahearts @embrace-themagic @bts-dreamybaby @belshka @trinbin039 @xxlostinseoul @sheislikearock @madjammil @guksflavor @yn-the-reader @kingjvngins @ggukkieland @waves-and-woods @aa-ronpa @agabud @n-dingscene @daydreamersblog @dionysusrage @coolinwbu 

[humbughana]

Family Affairs

In which Rafe Cameron’s best friend falls apart.

“Lola!” my mother yelled from the door, “Get back here right now!” 

As I walked away I grinned. Away from that house. Away from the emptiness.

A party. That was my destination tonight. Someplace to forget the broken house I came out of and make myself sick with something other than guilt or anger.

“Don't wait up.” I waved behind me as I rounded the sidewalk and away from the house completely. I think I faintly heard the door slam.

The familiar house in the distance was spilling out with teenagers and I could see the red solo cups a mile away. I sighed in relief and made my way towards the house. It was a friend from school, Topper’s house. We were close you could say, I was in their friend group more often than I was with my own these days. Girls were nosy, I realized. Too much talking and heart to hearts I couldn't stomach anymore. 

So I walked into the crowded house alone and grabbed a cup. 

~

“Go away.” I gritted out, smiling up at the boy I was dancing with. Topper stood off to the side with a frown. 

“Lola-” I shot him a look that could kill and surprise took over his face before he shook his head and stalked off. I sighed in relief,

“Your boyfriend?” the stranger I was dancing with asked and squeezing my hips. I shook my head and grinned tilting my head up and pulling him down, placing my lips on his roughly. 

And that's how my night went, jumping from boy to boy, filling up my cup when It got empty, anything to make me feel nothing at all. The alcohol had my body buzzing and my head fuzzy, the hands on my body had my attention and the music filled the rest. 

It was perfect. 

“Follow me.” another mystery boy leaned into my ear, his hand around my waist as he guided me into a side room. I frowned, wanting to go back to the main event but before I could open my mouth to complain he pulled out a little bag filled with a white powder I knew more than enough about. 

“What is this?” I demanded, swaying slightly as he formed four perfect lines. All I could think about was Rafe Cameron. 

I had helped him through his nasty addiction with this stuff. I saw the bad side of the fun drug and I hated it. 

The boy made his way back to me and pulled me towards the table, “Just something to take the edge off baby.” He kissed the side of my neck as he stood behind me, urging me to take the dollar bill in his hand.

“Not interested.” I leaned out of his hold and he scoffed and his hands wrapped around my waist again, pulling me into his chest.

“Come on, don't be a bitch.” I snarled and shoved him away. His hands flew up as he let out a low laugh and shook his head. He rolled up the dollar bill and leaned down and swiftly cleared two lines. I swallowed as he held out the bill in my direction with a taunting smirk. I scowled and snatched it away, the intention to crumble it up and throw it across the empty room.

And that's how Rafe found us.

The rolled up bill in my hand in front of the poison that almost killed him. Two lines missing, the residue betraying me.

It took him a split second to scan the room, from the boy laid out on the chair, to me. His face hardened when he saw what I held and the scene in front of him.

“Let’s go.” Nothing in his tone betrayed his feelings, “Now, Lola.” I dropped the incriminating evidence and followed him, just happy to get back to the normal party. I went to step around Rafe, not having the energy to fight tonight. His hands grabbed me and pushed me into the wall, still out of view before the dying down party. I refused to look at him. Rafe had always been the one I went to for anything. I helped him through his dark times so that promoted us to best friends you could say. He knew everything about me and vice versa. Although I had no intention to tell him what made me numb tonight. My family drama was the last thing on my list for today. 

“Let go.” I gritted out pushing my hands against his chest, my face relieving nothing but annoyance and hate. His hand found my chin and forced my head back and my eyes to meet his. I held his gaze and held my tongue. 

I realized he was scanning my eyes for any signs of the familiar high, “ I didn't do anything.” I spat at him and he loosened his grip for a split second for me to shove us apart. “Leave me alone.” I turned my back on him, not before seeing the confused look on his face.

I knew I was out of line and being a bitch but I didn't care. I was always the one that held it together for everyone else.

So I grabbed another drink. And another.

~

I was totally and completely trashed.

My legs could barely hold me up and my vision was so blurred I was stumbling around the house. I could tell the party was coming to an end since I could easily see the three boys that were watching me, not so discreetly. I rolled my eyes every time I caught one of them. 

“Do you want to get out of here?” I looked up at the first boy I danced with tonight. I didn't catch his name but the opportunity to leave the watchful eyes and not have to go back to my own house was blissful at this moment. So I nodded and his arm went around my shoulders leading me to the door.

“That's enough.” It was Kelce’s turn to step in, “Lola you’re not leaving with him.” 

“Yes, I am.” I slurred and leaned into the boy.

“You don't even know him.”

“So?” 

“Whatever, I’m leaving.” The boy let go of me and stalked off. I stumbled, losing my balance before Kelce held onto me and gently pulled me towards our friends. 

“Seriously?” I whined, “You guys cant leave me alone for one night?” I put my hands on my hips, vaguely hearing how my words ran together. 

“What's wrong with you?” Topper snapped and I smiled.

“Who cares?” 

“You know we do.” He said quietly like I hurt his feelings. I rolled my eyes, “Yeah well I’m not in the mood.” 

“I'm taking you home.” Rafe stood up and pulled his keys out, I opened my mouth but was beaten to it, “You can’t even stand up straight.” he snapped, angry as well. 

Party's over. 

I followed him out, having little options. I had no real intentions of going home tonight.

As he drove closer towards my house visions of today filtered through my head. 

I had gotten home from practice early and found my dad fucking his assistant in our kitchen. The sight of his panicked face passing through my eyes had me squeezing my eyes shut. 

‘Baby, it's not what it looks like’. 

As I had my eyes trained on his 20 something-year-old whore getting dressed with a poorly hidden smile on her flushed face.

‘Please don’t tell your mother yet, he had said frantically I'll tell her myself I promise.’

So I turned around and ran out of the house and straight to the country club where my mother was and cried to her. I told her everything and all she did was pull me away and tell me she already knew. 

She knew.

It was complicated, apparently. 

So I left her there and drove around until night fell, got dressed and left. 

~

I swallowed thickly as we turned down my street. My leg bouncing up and down and my hands shook. 

The car stopped in front of my house. Both parents cars in the driveway as I just stared at the house. I could feel Rafe staring at me, probably waiting for me to get out. 

“What's going on Lo?” Rafe spoke softly in the quiet car as I kept my eyes trained on the house. A light remained on in the kitchen. My vision became blurry and I turned to look at him and shook my head, “I can't go in there.” I pleaded. 

That was all it took and we were driving again. 

I must have dozed off because I woke up to my door opening and hands grabbing me. I jolted awake, gasping in a panic thinking I was at home. 

“Relax,” Rafe undid my seatbelt as I scanned my surroundings. I saw his house and sighed in relief letting him grab me. I could barely keep my eyes open as he climbed up the stairs and laid me into his bed.

~

I woke up staring at a room that wasn't mine. Afraid to get up and have to deal with the hangover that came with my night. I went through the night and remembered most everything. The drinking, boys, drugs. I remember being a bitch to my friends and pushing them all away. I sighed and put my hand on my forehead. I looked at the bedside table and found my phone, seeing 26 missed calls from my mom and multiple texts.

We need to talk, Lola. Please come home.

I’m sorry.

A sickness that had nothing to do with alcohol rose up my throat and I rushed into the bathroom and threw up. I gasped for breath on the cold tiles and felt hands brush my hair back and a voice soothing me.

I don't know when I started crying but what came out at first as silent tears fell into full-blown sobs. Rafe picked me up off the floor and put me back in bed as I continued to cry until I fell back asleep from exhaustion.

When I came around again I heard hushed voices. 

“Her mother is worried.” Rose.

“What's going on?” Rafe was upset.

“It's a family thing, Rafe.” Rose sighed, failing to sound serious and remorse leaked in. Pity.

“Bullshit, she is family.” He snapped, wanting an answer. I squeezed my eyes shut, my back to the door. A part of me wanted Rose to tell him, just so I didn't have to myself.

I heard her sigh, “Her dad has been cheating. She found them yesterday.” 

I zoned out the rest as I processed the sound of someone else verifying the news. She knew.

“Hey,” Rafe sat on the bed next to me and slightly smiled. I looked up at him with what are surely red shot eyes and flushed cheeks. His face fell when my lip started to wobble again and pulled me into his lap and squeezed me.

“Why didn't you tell us?” he asked when I quieted down, “Or me?” 

I shook my head, “I didn't want to talk about it.”

“You’re good to stay here as long as you want.” His hands ran through my hair as I sniffled against his chest. 

“Thank you,” I spoke looking up at him through wet eyelashes. 

“Always.”

[zorohezoro]

Parts 3-4: Sanity

Warnings: NSFW, SMUT CUNNILINGUS, SMACKING, PRAISE, DEGRADATION, SLIGHT ORGASM DENIAL

Summary: Matsumi finally gives in to her desires for one of the men she’s been fawning over these past 6 months.

You can find the full story here

Gojo x f!reader

AFTER WHAT SEEMED LIKE a short amount of time spent with Nanami, I had to leave. It was finally getting dark outside and I almost forgot I had plans to meet Gojo at the office for this so-called surprise. Nanami was sleeping peacefully on my lap and I hated to wake him up.

"Nanami....sweetheart I have to go. Let's get you into bed so your neck doesn't hurt from sleeping here on the sofa." I said. He groaned and clenched my thigh. "No stay," he said. I smiled to myself and slid from under him. He groaned a little more so I decided to let him stay. I made him comfortable with a few pillows and spread a blanket over him. I decided to leave him a note.

Nanami, I had to go but hopefully, we can do this again sometime. Don't you dare fall asleep on me :)

Xoxo, Sumi <3

As soon as I walked out of Nanami's, I got a sudden call from Gojo. "Hi sir, I'm on my way now! I'm just leaving Nanami's." I said. "Good girl. Feiten should be arriving as we speak. See you soon darling." Gojo replied. It was a short ride to the office. Feiten finally arrived and I popped open the back door and quickly got in. The tone in the car was quite different. There was a bottle of chardonnay and a note left by the single glass.

Matsumi, I hope you enjoyed your time with Nanami. Stop by your desk and change into what I’ve left for you and meet me on the helipad.

Kisses, Gojo

We finally arrived at the office and Feiten came around to open the door for me. "Thank you Feiten. Now tell me, do you know what Gojo-san has in store for me?" I looked at him with puppy dog eyes. "Now you know that I know Matsumi. However, I cant tell you. You know that I'd lose my job if Gojo-san found out, and of course, he knows everything." Feiten said. "Awww Feiten, not even for me?" I asked as I got out of the car. "Absolutely not Ms. Tanabe. Now hurry along before Gojo gets impatient." Feiten replied.

I sighed and headed towards the elevator, curious as to what Gojo possibly had in store for me. Especially since it sounded like he was going to use his helicopter. I finally arrived in the elevator and decided to scroll through my phone. I had a text from Nanami.

“Had so much fun with you gorgeous. Let’s do it again sometime.”

“I’d love that. Next week?”

By the time I finished texting Nanami back I was already on the top floor. I walked out of the elevator to find two boxes and a note on my desk.

The red one is for a different time. Don’t open it just yet, I’ll know if you do.

Xoxo, Gojo

He was acting differently than usual. I'm honestly surprised he doesn't have other plans tonight. He usually has some fling with a woman. Wouldn't expect anything less from well-known pretty-boy player Gojo Satoru. I opened the black box and noticed some red tissue paper inside. I quickly took it out only to see a black strapless dress. It paired well with the heels that I wore today. He noticed. Since no one was on the floor I quickly slipped out of my clothes and changed into the beautiful dress. I slipped back into my heels, put my clothes in the empty box, and headed towards the elevator to finally go up to the helipad.

The elevator doors slid back open and I saw Gojo standing there with a smug grin on his face. "Hey, gorgeous," Gojo said. "Hey? What is all this?" I questioned. "Oh, nothing out of the ordinary. Let's get dinner." "Gojo please, if you wanted to get dinner I could have met you at the restaurant, no need to take the helicopter," I said. "Yes but that's not what matters. All that matters is, you followed my instructions. Kitten, it's cute that you thought we were going to a restaurant. I think you should let me handle things from now on." He smirked

"Kitten" Working for a man of his stature definitely has its perks. He really knows his way with words. It's becoming harder and harder every day to keep this little secret feeling I have for Gojo inside.

"Well Gojo, lead the way. You know I'll always follow. Especially if you keep looking at me with those eyes of yours." I sighed. "Well Sumi, these eyes want to see you get into the helicopter," Gojo said. I darted a quick look at him and proceeded to get into the helicopter. He followed and placed his hand on the small of my back making sure I don't fall.

Don't worry, I wouldn't let it happen if I didn't want it to. I get that he's my boss but who doesn't love a spicy romance?

"Great view kitten. I can't help but think of what else I could see from behind." He said. I was finally settled in my seat and my cheeks flushed a bright pink. I seriously cannot with this man. Always making snide comments at my body shape. Not that I mind, he's always complimented me every chance he got.

Gojo

I watched her through my blindfold. Her cheeks were flushed. How cute. She makes me nervous. Yes, Sumi is my assistant, but I just can't help but think of the possibilities with her. The way her body moves when she's around me makes it seem like she has taken a liking to me, not just platonically. We finally settled into the helicopter and waited for lift-off.

"G-gojo, I have to ask you something," Sumi said. I could see that she was trying to hide her face. She was looking down at her legs. "Go ahead doll, I'm listening," I replied.

MINORS DNI

"I don't want you to take this the wrong way, and if you have to f-fire me because of it I understand." She paused. "These past six months have been wonderful working with you every day. There would be no reason that I'd fire you, Kitten." She sighed. She looked up, wiping her clammy hands on the blanket she always kept in the helicopter. She was nervous, I could tell that whatever she had to say was a great deal based on how she's acting. I lifted my blindfold and grabbed her hand, she was slightly shaking. "Sumi, let's just wa-," I was interrupted. "N-no! If I don't say this now I won't ever say it. Satoru, being by your side every day for the past 6 months has made me feel whole. I know you're my boss and I know it's wrong but I just can't hold back thes-," I cut her off crashing my lips into hers just as we took off.

Her lips were soft, she tasted faintly of chardonnay and green tea mochi. We continued like this for a while, with her right here with me the view of Tokyo from above didn't matter. I felt her tongue glide across my bottom lip asking for entrance which I gladly gave. The intensity of just this one kiss made me forget about all of the other women I've ever been with. Her tongue intertwined with mine as we started battling for dominance. I couldn't let her win, I wrapped my hands around her tiny throat eager to take this further. She proceeded to wrap her arms around my neck never breaking the intense kiss. I roamed my free hand around her body lightly squeezing her thigh making my way under her dress. I reached just before her pussy and I could already feel the heat coming off begging me to touch it, I laughed slightly. She moaned into my mouth when I touched her inner thigh. I started kissing down her neck reaching her collarbone letting my hand rub small circles around her already swollen clit, her panties were soaked. Cute little moans escaped her pretty little mouth. I stopped.

Sumi looked up at me pouting. "Darling, we can continue this later. No need to pout." I smirked. She looked me up and down with lust in her eyes which made me want more. We finally landed at my home.  Her cheeks were flushed red, eyes were slightly watery.

"I hope so," Sumi replied, a slight smirk forming on the left side of her mouth.

Pt 4

Matsumi

WE FINALLY LANDED. Gojo broke the kiss which left me all hot and bothered. "Darling, we can continue this later. No need to pout." He smirked. My cheeks were still hot when he looked at me. "I hope so," I replied.

Gojo got up first. "Welcome to..." he paused looking at me for a second too long. It seemed like he was at a loss for words when he saw me get up. "My house." he finished.

"Satoru, did you catch a cold? I've been here before more times than I can count on all my fingers." He did seem like he was acting out of the ordinary. "Well kitten, I know that but you've only come as my assistant," Gojo replied.

"What more could I be?" I asked. "Doll, titles aren't necessary. Now, about your surprise. Follow me." He offered his hand for mine and I gladly accepted. He abruptly stopped. "Ah! Before we go inside, here Doll-face." He took off his blindfold and put it on my face. I never understood how he could see through this, I guess I never will. Under the blindfold, it was pitch black. "Gojo how do you see under this? It's pitch black but yet you wear it almost everywhere." I questioned.

"That is for me to know and you to hopefully never find out little one. Now stop asking questions and start obeying orders. Let's go." We walked a few meters, I heard the sound of Gojo's elevator open. "Watch your step doll, let's not ruin that pretty little face of yours," he said.

MINORS DNI

The elevator doors finally closed. The silence in this elevator was deafening. Gojo still had my right hand in his so I used my other to roam around his body since I couldn't see the other four senses were heightened. I felt his abs through his shirt and blushed immediately. "Like what you feel doll?" Gojo slightly laughed. "Yes actually, seems like you do too," I smirked

I felt his trousers tightening as I roamed my free hand around his body. He let go of my other hand shortly after which gave me the freedom to put my hand on the back of his neck. I stopped caressing his body and brought his face down to mine and started to kiss him. Shortly after I felt him lift me. I wrapped my legs around him, the next thing I know, I heard the emergency stop ring. This excited me. I kissed his neck biting slightly then moving up to his earlobe nibbling on it. He slapped my ass hard making me grind on his toned belly. He put me down and I started to remove the blindfold. "Don't take it off princess, if you want me to fuck you in this elevator you'll keep it on," Gojo whispered in my ear. I obeyed, a little scared of what he'd do otherwise.

GOJO

I stopped the elevator, eager to finally fuck Matsumi as I intended as part of her surprise. I can't fathom her doing this with any other man especially  Nanami Kento. When Kento told me he was developing feelings for Sumi, I knew I had to do something. "Don't take it off princess, if you want me to fuck you in this elevator, you'll keep it on," I whispered. I placed my hand around her waist and lifted her dress just above her ass with the other.

Her scent was intoxicating. The slight scent of peaches lingered on my nose as I got on my knees in front of her. I had my hands on the back of her thighs ready to rip her panties off this instant. I wasn't going to do that though. I want to tease her, make her beg me to fuck her. I caressed her thighs littering kisses all over. Her legs were already starting to give out. I slid her panties off and lifted her legs resting them on my shoulders. God even her pussy is pretty. I held her legs up and proceeded to slightly bite her inner thigh a little making her jump and let out a soft moan. "Don't be quiet for me princess, I want to hear all your pretty moans," I said, planting kisses between words.

MATSUMI

Gojo licked and sucked my inner thigh slightly biting it every so often making me jump. God, I just want him to devour me already. "P-please, more." I moaned slightly. "Not so fast little one, let daddy work his magic. You're already so wet for me, you're doing so good," he said.

My grip on reality slowly slipped, focusing on Gojo's touch was all I needed to worry about. I felt his hand on my stomach just above my pussy. His mouth was getting closer until I finally felt his tongue slide on my slit. Ahh yes. His tongue circled my clit making me jump. This was my first time feeling this aroused. I felt him slip a finger inside me, pumping his finger in and out at a steady pace while still sucking on my clit. Don't stop. I felt a ball forming in my stomach, knowing I was going to cum soon. Gojo added a second finger which made me moan even louder. I felt him curl them up towards my g-spot pumping them in and out faster and faster. I clenched around him signaling that I was right at my orgasm and he suddenly stopped. "W-why did you stop," I whined.

"Shut up. Get on your knees." Gojo said while lifting my legs off of his shoulders. I immediately got on my knees and waited for him to do something else. It sounded like he was unbuckling his pants. "Open your mouth."

I opened my mouth slightly. Gojo laughed and I felt him grab my face "Don't play with me doll, wider." Gojo demanded. I did as he said. I didn't even get a chance to say anything before he shoved his dick down my throat bottoming out. "Your throat is so fucking tight babygirl. Stick your tongue out for me," he groaned. He started pumping in and out slowly letting me get used to his size in my throat. He slammed back into me causing me to cough and gag making my eyes water. He lifted the blindfold uncovering my eyes. "You look so fucking hot right now swallowing my dick like this princess," Gojo said. he kept pumping his dick inside my throat, I could feel his strokes start to get sloppy signaling that he was about to cum. He slammed into me one last time releasing his load in the back of my throat. "Swallow it slut." I did as he said. I opened my mouth showing him proof. "You're such a good little cumslut do you know that princess?" he said. I shook my head up and down. I slowly got up only to be picked up and pinned against the wall. "You want me to fuck you like the dirty little whore you are Sumi?" Gojo asked. "Y-yes," I replied. "Yes what babygirl?" he grinned. "Use your words now, I know you're not shy the way you just swallowed my dick whole." he continued. "Y-yes daddy make me yours already." I stuttered.

He grabbed me by my throat. "That answer is fine for now because I want to fuck you so bad, do better next time." he grinned. My throat was let go and he quickly picked me up and positioned his dick at my entrance, rubbing it up and down making me whimper. "G-Gojo p-please." I moaned. "Please fuck me now." Those four words were all it took for him to slam his dick into me. Not giving me enough time to adjust to his size, he slammed into me again and again. It hurt so well. Ah yes, daddy make me cum! I was already on edge since he denied me twice already. "Don't cum until I tell you to okay princess?" he slowed down his thrusts to allow me to answer. "Yes, d-daddy." He kept going faster after I replied making me clench around him. I was already going to cum. Another ball formed in my stomach. The lewd sounds of my pussy filled the elevator as he continued slamming into me. My back arched in his arms as he hit my sweet spot again and again. He hasn't given me permission to cum yet but I can't hold back. I clench one last time making him slam into me once more which sent me over the edge. I came. "I'm sorr-" I was cut off my Gojo slapping me across my face while still slamming into me. I couldn't form words he continued to quicken his pace until I felt like I was on cloud nine. I continued to cum 3 more times, slapped twice more. I nuzzled into his neck, tears streaming down my face ruining my makeup. I was seeing stars. I could feel him slowing down his thrusts getting sloppy. He pulled out of me and got on his knees still holding me. "Open your mouth." I agreed. He quickly got up and stroked his dick a few times before shoving it in my throat one final time groaning as he was releasing his fluid in the back of my throat forcing me to swallow again.

"Good girl. Now let's get you cleaned up yeah?" Gojo said. I tried getting up but I couldn't feel my legs. I noticed he had a Cheshire-like grin on his face. He's enjoying this. "If you're going to stare can you at least help me get up since you did this?" I pouted.

"Of course. You just look so beautiful when you're freshly fucked. Just wait until I have you in a bed. You think you can't get up now?" Gojo laughed. He scooped me up again lifting me like I was a feather and pressed the button on the elevator. We finally reached his room and he undressed me fully and laid me on the bed while he filled up the bathtub. I was exhausted so I drifted off to sleep waiting for Gojo to finish and come get me.

[justsomefluff]

ATEEZ Reaction to You Falling Asleep in the Car

Summary: You are riding back from dinner with your boyfriend and can’t seem to keep your eyes open. Here’s how he reacts.

A/N: So, I did a little lookin’ over the responses to my last writings and the more informal style seemed to get the best results. That’s fun for me because I get to add more of myself into my writing I feel. So, if you don’t want all of my stuff to be like that, send in a request and let me know how you want me to do a particular fic. 

Hongjoong:

Ok so Joongie

This fool doesn’t even notice when your head drops onto his shoulder

Why?

Homie is dead asleep too

But the driver gently calls to him

Like we here kiddo hand over the money

And he’s like oh alright

Joong only notices that you’re asleep when he goes to pay and

Cant?? Move?? His arm??

So he gets smushy and he's like oh nu

Doesn’t want to wake you up

Wants to be cute and carry you but he has to pay too and AGH

Stress

So eventually he has to wake you up

He just kinda wiggles in his seat until the movement wakes you up

And then you wake up embarrassed because the driver is staring at both of you like what fresh hell

When Hongjoong finally pays you can’t get out of the car fast enough

He’s whining all the way to your apartment about how he didn’t want to wake you up and boohoo

You’re like okay, Wiggles

But both of you just crash onto the couch once you’re inside and all is forgiven

Seonghwa:

(LOOK AT THE MELANIN HERE WOOOOO)

ok this man

I feel like he’s a closest romantic

so when you’re awake he’s like ew no im not soft who said that??

but he lie

if you fall asleep on him in the car he notices right away

because he was staring at you already

Creep

and he’s all googoo eyed and everything and smiling super wide

when you arrive at your destination that’s when the romantic side slips out a lil bit

he’s like ok obviously we are gonna carry them

you’re his babie

so he slides his arms around you

Hug and roll technique from FRIENDS kinda deal

tries to make a super natural transition from car to his arms

king pulls it off

you stay asleep until you’re inside and he’s like

SUCCESS

and he’s all smug and proud of himself when he’s tucking you into bed

but lil does he know

you were awake the whole time

pretend to be asleep so your mom will carry you to bed kinda vibe

Momma Hwa or boyfriend Hwa? you can decide

So either way once he’s got you all bundled in the blankets

you’re soft and sleepy but smiling because

YOU CAUGHT HIM

he’s romantic after all

Yunho:

big squishy is so in love with you stop

he’s giggling at the way your face is smushed against the window

How can you sleep like that???

so he’s taking pictures of you, that you will hate if you ever find out he took them

and when you get wherever you’re going

he’s not confident that he won't hurt the both of you if he tries to carry you without you waking up

so he just pushes his nose into your cheeks and just gives Eskimo kissies until you wake up giggling

you have to push him off of you because he just can't stop

Yunnie really can’t get enough of you I mean seriously

seeing you sleepy always makes him soft and he shall remain this way for the rest of the time you’re together

and probably a little longer after you part

so for the rest of your time together he’s all goofy smiles and starry eyes

absolutely insistent on being attached to you 100% of the time

whether its cuddles if you’re at home

or just constant hugs

like homeboy won't let you WALK

either way you love it and you can’t lie

love him please

Yeosang:

ok I know this is a fluffy reaction but here comes some crack

Yeosang is gonna be straight up annoying

he’s poking your cheeks to wake you up

does not care how cute you are he just can’t resist bothering you

he cannot express adoration like the rest of us okay

so he’s gonna torture you instead

he’s taking videos of you drooling on him and making fun of you the whole time

will not let you live it down later on

he does keep any and all videos like that private though because you’re still his baby and he doesn't want you to be too embarrassed

but he definitely wants to make you flustered

loves to tease you

so you’re dosing off in the car and Sangie is like !!!!

perfect time to strike

so thats when he starts making fun of you and not letting you sleep

but if you’re pouty enough then he might start to feel bad

to make it up to you he will pull your head back down to his shoulder and stroke your hair the rest of the car ride

gives you little kisses on the top of your head

but when you fall asleep again he just opens his phone and laughs at all the dumb videos he took of you

San:

you’re Yunho

if you get sleepy he will immediately assume it’s time for cuddles

he does not care that you are in the back of a taxi

he does not care that the driver is low-key staring at the two of you, hoping nothing nasty starts up

I digress

Sannie notices that your eyelids are drooping and your head is bobbing up and down as you fight to stay awake

Cue soft San

he gently pulls you into a hug

highboy uncomfortable since you’re in a cab, and seated

but you’re too tired and he’s too soft

so neither of you care

San’s giving you feather-light kisses all along your cheek and temple

maybe even gives you a couple neck kisses to hear you whine at him

nuzzling x10000000000000

rubbing his nose in your hair, along your jaw, around your ears, down your neck

anywhere he can reach really

makes you tingly and happy and he knows it

so you get a lil giggly

kinda sleep-drunk and then he’s love-drunk

He’s a cheeseball but he knows how to make you feel loved so who cares

Mingi: 

he’s kinda oblivious to you falling asleep

but if you fall onto him he’s SO AWKWARD

kinda wheezy, embarrassed laughter

you just made his heart swell a lil too fast is all

give him a minute to recover, okay?

once he is finally back to the land of the living

he’s gonna smile so wide

something about seeing you sleep makes him so confident in your relationship

sleeping is so vulnerable and he loves that you trust him enough to share that vulnerability with him like this

and then he’s rubbing his cheek on the top of your head

and wrapping an arm around you to keep you close and warm

so attentive to you

rubbing your arm if he thinks you feel cold

making sure you’re in a comfortable position

doesn’t want you to wake up stiff or anything

will gently move you if your neck is bent at an awkward angle

if he's sleepy too, he’ll press as close to you as he can

kinda difficult to do with seatbelts on but he’s gonna make it work believe me

and then he just passes out

and we all know how he gets when he’s tired so you end up being the one to drag him inside later on

Wooyoung: 

Wooyoungie

baby

I feel like his energy is so high that if you want to sleep in the car with him, he’s gonna have to be sleepy too

so since both of you are sleepy

you’re smushed together in the backseat, heads resting on top of each other

and I feel like he wants kisses a lot when he’s sleepy

you’re both on the verge of sleep but he’s like waittt

“it’s nap time Wooyoungie”

“kiss first”

kisses you super soft

fluffy lips I can't

he kisses you so soft and deep

way too intimate a moment for the backseat of a stranger’s car

but whatever

kisses you like 25 times

super slow, and when you finally pull away he’s whining anyway bc

“wanted more”

but sleep is calling and you just can't

he ends up falling asleep first anyway

kinda pouty, but he’s happy overall because he got his kisses

even if it was fewer kisses than he wanted

Jongho:

Jongho highkey does not know what to do when you fall asleep on him

Will definitely decide to carry you inside and not wake you up

makes that decision before you even get close to your destination

but he’s a prince so he always thinks ahead

strokes your hair a lot and smiles super soft

hums a little to himself

gives you a couple kisses here and there because he just cant help himself

honestly really struggles with the fact that you both aren't cuddled up in bed or on the couch or something 

wants cuddles so bad

but he’s kinda reserved so he’s too shy to smush himself against you with the driver right there

shy about PDA in general, but sleep is even more special to him I think

eventually finds a compromise to keep himself happy until you're home

just laces his fingers with your and kisses your knuckles

it’s bread crumbs, I know, but he’s too shy to do more

itching to get where youre going

the quicker you get there, the quicker the day is over and he can cuddle the living daylights out of you until he’s satisfied

[mshomestyle]

Do you write angst? If you do can you do a Hawks x Fem reader where they have a serious argument? But like can it also have a happy ending? Cause i cant hate the birb forever :( Thank you!!

I do write angst! Whether I’m good at it or not is a toss up.

Hawks x Reader: Having an argument then making up:

You were incredibly tired of not being able to see him as much as you wanted to, and you were starting to feel as if you were seeing him less and less. It was aggravating, but you knew that Japan needed him being as he was a famous top hero. You just wished that he put at least some time aside for you. And with the little free time he did have, he either didn’t feel like doing anything or he’d go and hang out with friends. You were truly growing sick of this and felt as if something needed to change.

So, on one day when Keigo got back from work, telling you that he was about to leave soon again to go with some friends, you felt as if you couldn’t hold your tongue any longer.

“Seriously? We’ve barely seen each other all week, and you’re going out?” you said, with a roll of your eyes. Keigo turned to look at you rather confused.

“What do you mean, we’ve barely seen each other? We live together,” he countered. You hated the fact that he wasn’t getting it.

“I still don’t see you though. In the mornings all we do is get ready and go to work, and then in the evenings you come home late and either go straight to bed or go hang out with friends. How is that seeing each other?” you asked. Keigo let out a sigh, shaking his head.

“So, I’m busy with work. I’m Japan’s number two hero, what exactly do you expect?”

“And I get that! I just hate the fact that whatever little time you do have, you don’t spend it with me. Instead I’m just here by myself while you’re out having fun!” Now you were getting angry, which was becoming rather visible.

“Am I stopping you from coming with me when I go out?” Keigo asked, also getting visibly upset.

“Seriously? Are you seriously telling me that?! You think I want to spend what little free time there is together in a bar? Would it freaking kill you to set aside just a little bit of time for me?!” You could not believe that he just told you that.

“Why are you acting so needy, [Name]? Excuse me, if I want to unwind after a day of putting my life on the line to save people!”

“Really? Unwinding is going to a noisy and rowdy place with friends? You’d rather do that then spend time with me?!”

“I do when you’re being a pain!” Being completely taken back by this, your eyes widened, and you felt as if you had nothing left to say to him. What could you say to that? It seemed, however, that Keigo realized that he took it too far. Letting out a breath through his nose, he reached out for you, “Look, [Name], I’m sorry, I didn’t mean i-“ You hit his hand away.

“Don’t touch me,” you said, moving away, “You know what? I don’t care what you do, asshole! Just get away from me!” Storming off you went into your shared bedroom, getting under the covers. Why would he say something like that? And how could he not see that all you wanted was to just be with him, after all, he was your significant other. That was how such things worked. You needed to have time together for your relationship to prosper.

Shortly after you disappeared under the covers, Keigo opened up the bedroom door. You didn’t want to talk to him, nor did you even want to look at him. “[Name]?” he said, softly, going over and sitting on the bed. He gently placed a hand on top of you. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it. It was stupid, and I shouldn’t have said that.” You let out a sigh.

“You don’t get it, Keigo,” you told him, “I love you. That’s why I want to be with you. I hate not having that time together.”

“I know, I know,” he said, rubbing at your shoulder gently, “And it was wrong of me to not really see it that way at first. I love you, too, and I don’t want to argue. I mean, you’re right…I should make some extra time for you. It’s how this whole relationship thing works, right?” He pinched your cheek playfully, causing you to whine a bit, though you nodded.

“Will you?” you asked, voice a bit weak.

“I will~.” After he said that, you let Keigo get into bed with you, and he wrapped his arms around you, holding you close.