#seriously next time it happens I'm just gonna start blocking people

[wosomaanum]

Just In Time | Frida Maanum

Summary: You and Frida decide to go to a party where not everything goes to plan

Warnings: creepy people, homophobia, alcohol, party things yk

You and Frida are getting ready in your shared apartment, the scent of her favorite vanilla body spray mingling with the faint sound of indie music playing in the background. Frida stands in front of the mirror, adjusting her earrings, while you fuss with the shirt. She catches your eye in the reflection, offering a reassuring smile.

"Ready to go?" she asks, her eyes twinkling with excitement.

"Yeah, let's do this," you reply, taking her hand as you head out the door.

The walk to the party is filled with light conversation and laughter, Frida's presence always a source of comfort and joy. When you arrive, the house is already buzzing with energy, music pumping through the walls, and groups of people scattered around, talking and dancing.

“Wow, it’s crowded in here.” You state, a hint of uncertainty present in your voice.

“It is. Just stay close yeah?” Frida replies, her thick Norwegian accent peaking through.

“Don’t worry, nothings going to happen.” You reply, you weren’t sure if you were trying to reassure Frida or yourself.

“Darling, I know you can handle yourself. I’d much rather be safe than sorry. Just let me know roughly where you’re gonna go and remember: you have a phone for a reason.” She stays, matter of factly.

“Right. I’m just gonna go to the toilet then alright? Love you.” You kiss Frida on the cheek offering her a smile to what she exchanges cutely.

On your way to the bathroom, you decide to take a look in the kitchen to scout out the drinks. You were by no means a drinker but you knew Frida was the designated driver. Which meant two things:

1. You could get tipsy

2. You could only get tipsy. Not flat out drunk. Or Frida would be on your back.

The kitchen is packed, but you manage to find a spot near the counter. As you pour yourself a drink (okay, just a quick one), a guy you don’t recognise sidles up next to you. He's taller than you, with an overly confident smirk plastered on his face.

"Hey there," he says, leaning in a bit too close for comfort. "I haven't seen you around here before. Can I get you another drink?"

"No, thanks. I'm good," you reply, trying to keep your tone polite but firm. You were already feeling tipsy by now as you had spontaneously chugged down two solo cups worth. You knew Frida would be scolding you later - but that didn’t matter right now.

He doesn't take the hint, instead stepping even closer. "Come on, just one drink. What's the harm?"

You glance around, hoping to spot Frida, but she's still across the room, chatting with some friends. "I said no, thanks," you repeat, more forcefully this time.

The guy's smirk fades slightly, but he doesn't back off. "Don't be like that. I'm just trying to be friendly."

You try to step away, but he blocks your path, his presence becoming more oppressive. "Seriously, I don't want a drink," you say, louder this time, hoping someone nearby will notice.

His eyes narrow slightly, and he leans in even closer, his breath hot on your ear. "Why are you being such a prude? I'm just being nice."

Panic starts to bubble up inside you, your heart racing as you try to push him away. "Leave me alone," you demand, your voice trembling.

He chuckles, clearly enjoying your discomfort. "Relax, I'm not going to bite. Just trying to have a conversation. What's your name?"

You take a step back, trying to put some distance between you. "It's none of your business," you snap, hoping to sound more confident than you feel.

He rolls his eyes, clearly annoyed. "No need to be so rude. I'm just asking a simple question."

"Look, I'm here with someone," you say, trying a different tactic. "I'm not interested."

"Oh, come on," he says, his tone turning condescending. "Whoever it is, they can't be that great if they left you alone. Just one drink, and if you still want me to leave, I will."

You shake your head, backing up further. "I already told you, I'm not interested. Please, just leave me alone. And don’t insult my girlfriend.”

His expression darkens, and he steps forward again, ignoring your plea. "You know, you're making this a lot harder than it needs to be."

"I don't care," you snap, louder this time, hoping the raised volume will attract someone's attention. "I said no. Now back off."

He laughs, a harsh, mocking sound that sends a shiver down your spine. "Feisty, I like that. Come on, just one drink. It's not going to kill you."

Desperation starts to creep in as you look around the room, searching for a familiar face. "I'm not interested," you repeat, your voice shaking with anger and fear. "Why can't you just take no for an answer?"

"Because I'm not used to hearing it," he replies smugly. "You're not going to find anyone better than me here, so why not just give it a shot?"

You glance around again, feeling trapped. "Look, you're making me really uncomfortable. Please, just go away."

"Uncomfortable?" he scoffs. "I'm just talking to you. You don't have to be so dramatic."

"I'm not interested because I'm here with my girlfriend," you say, hoping that will make him back off.

His expression changes, a sneer spreading across his face. "Oh, so you're one of those. That explains a lot."

"Did I not already tell you that? And, What do you mean by that?" you ask, feeling a surge of anger mix with your fear.

"Just that it makes sense why you're so uptight," he says, leaning in closer again. "Trying to play the victim, huh? You think you're too good for a guy like me because you like girls?"

"That's none of your business," you say firmly, trying to keep your voice steady. "Just leave me alone."

"Come on, don't be like that," he says, his voice dripping with condescension. "Maybe you just haven't been with the right guy yet."

"Back off," you say, louder now, hoping someone will notice and intervene.

"What's going on here?" Frida's voice cuts through the tension, her tone calm but authoritative. She walks up, her eyes immediately assessing the situation. Sliding her arm around your waist, she fixes the guy with a steady gaze. "Is there a problem?"

The guy looks between the two of you, clearly irritated. "We were just talking," he says, attempting to brush off the situation.

Frida tightens her hold on you, her eyes not leaving his. "It didn't look like she wanted to talk," she says calmly but firmly. "She told you to leave her alone."

"Mind your own business," he snaps, his bravado faltering slightly under Frida's intense gaze.

Frida maintains her calm demeanor, her voice unwavering. "She is my business. If she asked you to leave her alone, you should respect that."

He hesitates, clearly not used to being challenged. "Look, I'm not trying to start anything. Just having a conversation," he says, his tone trying to sound reasonable but failing.

Frida's expression softens slightly as she addresses him again. "Look, she clearly doesn't want to continue this conversation. Let's all just move on and enjoy the party, okay?"

"Whatever," he mutters, but he doesn't move.

Frida remains calm, her grip on you firm but gentle. "Did you not hear her? She's not interested. Leave us alone."

The guy's face flushes with anger and embarrassment. "I just don't get you people," he says, his voice rising. "Always playing the victim card. Maybe if you weren't such prudes, you'd see how stupid this all is."

"Excuse me?" Frida's voice remains calm, but there's an edge to it now. "What did you just say?"

"You heard me," he snaps, his bravado returning. "You lesbians always think everyone's out to get you. Maybe if you tried being normal for once, you wouldn't have these problems."

Frida takes a deep breath, her eyes never leaving his. "We're not the problem here. You are. We're here to have a good time, just like everyone else. If you can't handle that, maybe you should leave."

"Oh, I'm the problem now?" he scoffs. "You two are just asking for trouble, flaunting your lifestyle in everyone's faces."

"Enough," Frida says, her voice firm but controlled. "This conversation is over. Leave us alone."

He glares at both of you, clearly frustrated. "Fine, whatever. You're not worth the trouble." He turns and stalks off into the crowd, disappearing from view.

You let out a breath you hadn't realized you were holding and turn to Frida, who is watching you with concern.

"You okay?" she asks, brushing a strand of hair from your face.

"Yeah, thanks. He just wouldn't take a hint," you reply, leaning into her touch.

"I know, I’m sorry. I’m sorry you had to deal with that and I’m sorry I didn’t get to you quicker. Let's get out of here," Frida suggests softly. "This place is too crowded anyway and you need to get home before it’s dark."

You nod, grateful for her suggestion. She keeps an arm around you as you both navigate through the throng of people and out into the cooler night air. The drive home is quieter, but Frida's presence beside you is as comforting as ever.

When you reach your apartment, she unlocks the door and lets you in first, her protective instincts still in high gear. Inside, you kick off your shoes and collapse onto the couch, feeling the tension of the evening finally start to fade.

Frida sits next to you, her hand resting on your knee. "You sure you're okay?" she asks again, her eyes searching yours.

"I'm fine now," you assure her, taking her hand in yours. "Thanks for stepping in. I don't know what I would've done if you hadn't."

"Anytime," she says with a soft smile. "You know I've got your back."

You lean against her, feeling safe and loved. The party might not have been what you expected, but having Frida by your side makes everything better.

“I can’t believe he said all that. I know I was tipsy but it doesn’t take a genius to figure out his intentions, in fact I think the ‘prude’ may have done it.”

“It’s best not to think about it hey. He was a total dickhead but I’m just glad your safe that’s the most important thing. Let’s just calm down now and we can talk more in the morning if need be. I’m here for you, you know that.”

The rest of the evening is spent in the comfort of your apartment, wrapped up in each other. Frida makes sure you're okay, periodically checking in with gentle touches and reassuring words. She walks you through your feelings, letting you vent about the guy and how he made you feel, always listening intently.

As the night grows later, she suggests you both watch a movie to distract from the earlier ordeal. You agree, and soon you're cuddled up on the couch, the soft glow of the TV casting a warm light over the room. Frida holds you close, her arms wrapped around you.

————-

You wake up the next morning encased by Frida’s strong arms. You both stir awake.

“You know, now that you are feeling better, I think we better discuss you downing two vodkas eh?”

[plural-affirmations]

(you can totally leave this til whenever you have time honestly I need to get it out of my head as much as get feedback tbh)

Am I a bad person for breaking up with the old hosts boyfriend?

So. When we discovered the system, before I split, old host (we'll call them M) had a polycule of three people, a boyfriend (A) and a agender partner (K). When M felt ready they explained everything to A and K and let a few headmates introduce themselves. K was really nice and understanding, it didn't quite get the entire concept of plurality or fictives (which we have plenty of) but it was friendly and it's been great about asking questions to understand us better and even now still reads resources we send it for stuff it doesn't quite get.

A, uh.. Immediately started cracking jokes about our fictives. He was calling Shoto "knock off Zuko" and telling him to 'roast marshmallows for him', and threatening to send.. Italian mobsters.. After Hitoshi? Because 'Hitoshi is what Mario does to make Yoshi stick his tongue out'? M and Keith, our gatekeeper, both told him to knock it off, and he wasn't as outwardly bad for a while, but still didn't really interact with anyone else much.

Fast forward a bit and M went dormant, I became the new host. K was confused but understanding, it never made me feel bad for being here when M wasn't, and it still to this day talks to us plenty. (M is back but isn't allowed to front at home for reasons, we schedule dates sometimes where it can spend some time with them outside now) But A kind of just. Started acting really weird.

I don't remember a lot of the details here so sorry if it gets fuzzy.

I am an alterhuman in headspace, I was me one day and the next I woke up with cat ears and a tail. Still not sure how that happened but I've embraced it. A started making.. Not entirely safe for work jokes about it. That made me uncomfortable but he never really apologized? He also called me "the cat" like, in a very distant dehumanizing way?

He also uh. Blatantly misgendered someone, repeatedly, and then never apologized because 'his profile picture makes him look like a girl'.

I know there was more but it's all hazy. Eventually Keith sent him a long message that he had to start taking this stuff seriously and that he was treating us like a goofy game and not someone dealing with a lot of trauma that was struggling to hold everything together, told him he had to do some research and learn the ugly side of our disorder and stop acting like we're playing pretend. K directly offered to answer questions and help him figure it out better during the same conversation. But he basically ghosted us for a month after that, never said anything, never reacted when we tried to talk to him, just totally shut us out, so finally I messaged him like, "look I'm sorry but this is too much, I can't handle you in our life right now, I know I'm not M and maybe only they can dump you but as far as I'm concerned I don't want you around" and kicked him from our server/blocked him a few places. That was a few months ago and apparently he ghosted K at the same time, even though they were also dating and we never asked K to pick sides or stop seeing him?

Literally everyone I've talked to about this says I did the right thing and that it's his own fault for not being a safe person for us and not wanting to learn, and even typing it all out, I know I'm better off with him gone, but I can't shake feeling guilty. I didn't really choose to be host, the brain just kind of shoved me forward when M left and I had to roll with it, but I can't stop this feeling like everything I'm doing is destroying M's life and making everyone else miserable. I also had to cut off a friend that flat out fakeclaimed us, even though they'd been friends for years.

Idk I just feel like I'm a placeholder and eventually M is gonna want their body back and I'm gonna have completely torpedoed everything about their life.

(This is going to get long, apologies in advance.)

Hey, it's Solo typing right now. I was host for the first half of the year, and I had some really similar feelings about messing up Nix's life too. But I'll get to that in a minute.

Short answer: no, you're not a bad person for breaking up with him, he sounds like a complete asshole.

Long answer: you deserve to have someone in your life that'll treat you better than that, especially for (I'm assuming from context clues, sorry if I'm wrong) having traumagenic and/or disordered plurality that you quite literally cannot control. The jokes he made were extremely far out of line, and also super disrespectful, in my opinion.

That's not even touching on the fact that he was told at least once to quit, and decided to?? Fucking ghost you??? Nah, I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him. I'm really sorry if that comes across as rude. It's just, I hate seeing people like you being mistreated just for being a system. It's rife with ableism, it's hurtful to you, it's just... unacceptable. And he probably knew damn well what he was doing, because people who are actually decent wouldn't have left you in the dust as soon as they were called out for being awful.

Now, as far as the being afraid part... I relate really, really strongly to that. That's why I chose to come out and answer this ask, actually. Because, I wanted to tell you... you're not doing anything wrong.

I'll spare you the time and unnecessary details, but TL;DR is that Nix desperately needed a break for about a solid 6 months. So, I split, and I was immediately thrown into the driver's seat.

The entire time, I felt exactly the way you do. "What if he comes back and hates all the things I've done?". That sorta thing. But, it turns out, when he came back... all the changes I had made were for the better. I cut toxic people out, I went to therapy, etcetera. So, despite my fears, he was actually really, really appreciative and happy about it.

I can't guarantee things will be exactly the same way for you guys, but I do want to say that -- at least from where I'm sitting -- you're making changes for the better, too. Even if M comes back and doesn't necessarily agree with everything you've done, I don't think anyone can fault you for genuinely trying your best with what you were given, considering the circumstances.

Basically... give yourself some credit. It's going to be ok, and everything is going to work out eventually. That much I can promise.

Sorry this got so unbelievably lengthy, I tried to cut down on it, but I had a lot of thoughts. Please feel free to come back if you have absolutely anything else you want to add! You're always welcome here. ❤️

🖤💜💙💚💛

[paigemathews]

idk why but in the prandy P3 daughters au i feel like piper would have a girl first and then her boys (maybe twin boys? i'm just bullshitting here tbh)

Okay, so, I can genuinely guarantee that this over three thousand word outline is not what you intended when you sent this, but I got this and another ask about the prandy girls AU and decided that I needed to sketch this out to at least have an idea of what happens and who else are around the prandy girls and it... spiraled. I did put this under a read more because, like I said, over three thousand words. But to actually answer your question, and I guess spoilers for the outline ahead, Piper actually ends up with two girls: Proserpina "Prose" Patricia Halliwell and Petra Penelope Halliwell. (Abi, you may say with dismay, there's no way that Piper would name her daughter Proserpina and you're not wrong! Special circumstances apply for why she did, and I actually did initially begin to dive into the next gen girls' powers and personalities here as well before realizing it was way too long already, but that information is available if anyone cares lmao.)

I also had to break this up more because Tumblr yelled at me, so we have different headings.

The Beginning

I think that the first two seasons would still primarily shake out the same, besides Andy's death, since season two is still pretty episodic

instead of that unnamed Cupid in "Heartbreak City," however, it's Coop, who kind of just gently bullies Phoebe into admitting that she's afraid of love and of losing people. (we're gonna set the stage early here.)

Additionally, Prue and Andy are still not fully together yet (bc they had been, y'know, broken up when he died) so Coop reveals to Phoebe that he's there to help them but doesn't tell anyone else yet.

Anyways, Prue and Andy end up hooking up at one point and accidentally ends up pregnant around three quarters of the way through season two but we end season two with them finally committing to one another and Perri is born about halfway through season three

During season three, however, we first see the sisters go head-to-head with the Source. They try to vanquish him, and Prue goes down hard. The Power of Three doesn't work and they're about to die when they're suddenly beamed out, revealed to be Phoebe wishing she could've confessed her love to Coop before they died. (Look, we're doing very broad strokes here rn.)

The sisters are confused because that was the strongest spell and potion that they got, and Leo goes to talk to the Elders and says that there's something blocking the sisters from their full potential and Phoebe is like "okay, what does that mean" and Leo has no idea so that takes up the back half of season three as they try to discover what's blocking them.

Meanwhile, Prue, a new mother, is having this breakdown about how she nearly orphaned her daughter and lashes out and has her plot about dealing with all of this with Andy.

Anyways, at the end of season three, we finally figure out what's limiting their powers and spoiler alert:

it's because there's supposed to be a fourth sister with them: Paige

but the Source discovers this before the sisters do and attacks once again, and this time, they're slightly more prepared but something happens and Piper is (seemingly) killed while the Source is seriously weakened so he retreats.

The Power of Four

In reality, Piper has actually ended up between planes, alive in the place you're meant to go before you die. Also, as we later find out when Leo is tearfully confiding to probably Coop, she's pregnant as well. (This will be relevant to our Pleo kid.) The rest quickly figure out, however, that wherever Piper is, she's not in the Beyond like their mother or grandmother.

But anyways, Prue is furious and going after every demon like a madwoman and casting any and every spell to locate a sister. Phoebe, meanwhile, graduated at some point during season three and is adrift and unsure what to do. She starts working with social services to help people down on their luck, where she begins running into a chaotic young Berkley grad named Paige.

Meanwhile, Piper is trying to figure out a way home and starts casting her own spells to contact her sisters. She ends up in Paige's dreams, who at first dismisses it as just being lonely and wanting family as the anniversary of her parent's death approaches and being alone for it for the first time (as Glen is unable to get back to the States in time).

Paige is a bit creeped out when she first sees a picture of Piper and sees that she's identical to the woman in her dreams but continues to dismiss it as her wishing she had a sister like Phoebe.

Anyways, something happens and Prue and Phoebe realize that Paige is their sister and Paige realizes that she's a witch. (For this, they initially believe that she's a telepath since she's able to mentally connect with Piper through planes and displays this mental connection with all of the sisters, but it's later revealed to be a product of their collective power. Her actual primary power is photokinesis, the ability to create and manipulate light.)

There's some growing pains at first, but Prue, Phoebe, and Paige manage to connect with one another and discover a way to save Piper, which is something like at the height of All Hallow's Eve or whatever.

Anyway, they save Piper and the Power of Four is established.

Either during or soon after, Piper gives birth to her and Leo's daughter: Proserpina "Prose" Patricia Halliwell, named after the mysterious woman on the plane who helped Piper and likely gave her something to help her keep the pregnancy (a life growing where one is not meant to exist)(look, I wasn't intentionally trying to sketch out stuff here, we're just going with vibes now.

Prue is also pregnant again about halfway through the "getting Piper back" arc and, if Piper gives birth end of season four, Prue gives birth to Presley about half a season afterwards.

Now, back to the sisters. Let's say that Phoebe finally confesses to Coop and they deal with their feelings and are going strong. But the Source has been working to regain his strength, and so, we get some kind of enemy sent the sister's way. With the reveal of Paige's existence and Piper giving birth, the Source decides to try to divide the sisters to weaken them by targeting the most obvious weak link: Paige.

We Still Have a Demon Romance

With Piper's return, Paige feels unnecessary, like she was a placeholder only meant to hold the second sister's place until she came back. And it isn't helped by the fact that Piper came back and had a baby, Prue is now pregnant/close to having another baby, and Phoebe is dancing around Coop who may or may not have tried to set her up with someone else.

And Paige isn't impressive to the magical community, not like the original Charmed Ones and she doesn't know what she's doing yet, not really, so it doesn't go well. But there's someone who seems to like her and look up to her and they're a fellow witch (except they're actually a demon) and he gets her and understands her.

So instead of Phoebe, Paige gets a demon romance, except she doesn't know of course. And she learns more about magic and how to use it differently than anything her sisters had taught her and a lot of it is on the up-and-up for the most part but some of it just tilts Paige a bit of a different direction.

The saving grace is that Paige is also given a charge during this time, so her Whitelighter side is tugging at her consistently so her demon lover can't pull her too far, even if Paige doesn't know yet why some things he shows her she is instinctually repelled from. And through her Whitelighter side, she gets a charge, who also happens to have an infuriating parole officer named Henry.

They butt heads a lot but both care a lot about their charge, so slowly and reluctantly become friends against their will. But Paige's demon boyfriend is getting impatient at the lack of progress, especially because the Source is starting to get vexed and regaining his strength, so he kicks it up a notch by starting to steadily bewitch Paige, a la Phoebe in s4.

In the interest of having a backup, the Source also sends a demon to befriend the sisters, especially in an attempt to target the kids and Prue's pregnancy. (After all, what better way to destroy the sisters than from the inside?)

And it takes a minute, because everything has been so hectic with everything going on for the sisters (Piper going missing and then giving birth, Prue getting pregnant again, finding Paige, etc.) that they've kinda just been lingering with this chill atmosphere for once, but start to realize something is wrong with Paige.

Andy is the one to investigate and find out that something is off about the demon boyfriend, like how he did with Rex and Hannah in s1. An oracle or seer (depending on who we wanna add in here) warns the demon that his cover is blown before Andy can get to Prue, and he knows he's no match for the Charmed Ones, so he decides to try to forcibly turn Paige, and potentially the sisters, in one fell swoop through a Dark Wedding (like Zile marrying Prue in the canon s3.) To distract the sisters, he infects the sisters, Andy, Leo, and Coop with sin balls.

This has a two-fold purpose: one, I love Sin Francisco, so shoutout! Two, Phoebe gets infected with lust and Coop with envy. Coop is envious of the men that he's tried setting Phoebe up with, and Phoebe is. lusting after Coop, so. Under the influence of the sins, they have sex! (I'm sure you can see why this will be very important later on.)

Anyways, Henry, who the demon boyfriend (who I probably should've given a name tbh) had deemed unimportant, figures out that something is wrong with Paige and tries to go to the sisters to ask about her, only to be like what the fuck.

He ends up somehow helping them realize something is wrong blah blah and they all break their individual sin/remove their sin in the case of Prue.

Meanwhile, Paige and the demon boyfriend are seemingly about to get married but Paige just looks around dazed and asks softly where are my sisters? and he gives her some bullshit about how he's the only one that cares about her or whatever and then is blasted halfway across the room by a very furious Piper going get away from my sister!

(Imagine this as being the turning point between Piper and Paige's relationship since they'd been so iffy around each other because they had no idea who the other was and thought that the other was intended to be their replacement or whatever.)

Her sisters rush to her side and Phoebe hands her a potion and gently asks her to take it, sweetie, and Paige trusts her so she does and all of the demon's tricks fail when his enchanting is abruptly wiped from her sister. Paige hesitates only for a minute before joining her sisters in the vanquishing spell.

Also Henry finds out about magic from this and has to sit down.

And this has probably been going on for the about three quarters of the season and uhhh, Prue goes into labor at the end of all this and hi ya, Presley!

And they hustle her off to the hospital and- Oh my God, Prue is cradling Presley in her arms with Andy beaming next to her and they need a middle name and everyone's making suggestions and Prue kind of just looks up at Paige, who we'll say have bonded over Paige's love of art and Prue's experience with antiquities and art knowledge, and says Artemisia after Artemisia Gentileschi and Paige points out that's a big name for a girl to handle and if Prue's sure if she handle it and they're not really talking about the name at all but Prue says that she knows she'll be able to handle anything because she's so strong and brave and will always have her sisters.

And Paige beams and Piper and Leo are standing together and Phoebe goes and leans her head on Paige's shoulder in one of those cute sisterly moments and gets a premonition of, oh, about nineish months?

Congratulations, Paige, it's a demon-witch-Whitelighter hybrid!

(Phoebe does not tell them in that moment but definitely brings it up later.)

I Feel Like Everyone is Just Having a Kid RN Here

Anyways, we get a break from all the heavy plot stuff for a minute because Phoebe and Coop are. Not talking about what happened between them and Paige and Henry are being a little weird with each other and Prue is having a crisis with Andy about what if she goes and dies on her kids like her mom and Piper isn't sure if she and Leo will be able to have another kid after her experiences on the plane between life and death, and that's all just the romance and family side of things.

On the professional side of things, Prue is struggling with the desire to stay at 415 Magazine or move to the Bay Mirror to be able to be there on the streets seeing what's going on versus the glossy photoshoots that she's been doing. Piper, after quitting Quake, had basically been working as a caterer without the money to actually buy a physical location for her building but is taking the plunge on the restaurant. Phoebe has been working at social services with Paige but isn't sure what she actually wants to do. After an episode where something forced Phoebe into helping Prue at the Bay Mirror, she begins doing some editing work there, eventually taking on a column role. Paige meanwhile finally becomes a social worker.

But anyways, Paige is struggling with what happened, her deteriorating friendship with Henry, and her impending motherhood. She finally explodes on Henry calling him out for slowly drifting away and revealing how terrified she is of becoming a mother. The two reconcile when Henry tells her that, regardless of magic, he knows that she'll be a great mother because of the way that she cares for her charges and her work and promises to be there for her. There's also plenty of bonding with Prue during this time because Paige (and Henry) definitely have a plot about babysitting little Perri and Presley for "practice."

Meanwhile, Phoebe realizes about halfway through the season that she's pregnant and she and Coop finally have to sit down and talk about it. They confess their feelings but are concerned about the forbidden romance aspect of it. Despite that, with Phoebe being spectacularly less burned this time, they decide to try and pursue it anyways.

About halfway through season six, Paige goes into labor about the same time that a demon is attempting to devour ghosts' powers or something so we get an episode featuring Melinda Warren because Paige deserves to meet her too and Henry gets some magical shenanigans. Also some nice moments with Melinda commiserating with Paige about being tricked and how she, and her baby, are still Warrens. But anyways, Paige delivers not one little demon-witch-Whitelighter baby but two! (No one expected this. Phoebe's premonition helpfully left out Henry cradling the other baby.) Either way, we now have Lillith Prudence Matthews and Morgan Melinda Matthews!

Remember how I mentioned that the Source had a backup plan to befriend the sisters? Yeah, she's still here, slowly worming her way into their lives. Due to the twins' half-demon natures, she begins often volunteering to be a babysitter with the goal eventually being to turn them completely. None of the sisters expect anything as demonic activity begins ticking upward again and she becomes closer to their kids. It's her that lets it slip that Phoebe and Coop are in a forbidden romance soon before Phoebe's meant to give birth, and the Elders recall him to the Heavens in punishment.

Phoebe gives birth soon afterwards to Philomena "Mena" Cordelia Halliwell, naming her daughter after love and heart.

She challenges the Elders for him back, and with her sisters behind her, they falter enough that she's able to press them enough that they give her an option. She came to them on the claim of true love, and so it's that claim they'll make her prove herself on. If Phoebe is truly in love with Coop, she just has to find him. They'll send him back, no memories and in-disguise, but will guarantee that they'll be in a position to meet once more and interact. If she kisses him, it'll return his memories and they'll be free to be together. However, to prevent her from just kissing every guy she finds to try to find Coop, she has only once chance, and her next kiss will be the only chance she gets. (I did decide to add in a fairytale ass plot bc I can, thanks.) Phoebe accepts, and her romantic plot for the rest of the season and the beginning of the next is on finding Coop.

Meanwhile, the demon friend decides that if she's going to poison the Warren line of witches, why stop at only a set of twins when there could be a death-touched witch and the first ever Cupid-witch hybrid at her command? (She looks at Perri and Presley, fully witches born with no complications, and dismisses them. She is the first demon that will do this but will not be the last. Like her, others will learn that this is a mistake.) Knowing vaguely of the potion Piper took to be able to keep the pregnancy, the demon creates a fertility potion to give her to see if she'll be able to utilize another child's powers to even greater strengths. She gives it to Piper in the season six finale.

The Final Battle

During this time, the sisters begin to prepare for the final battle against the Source. Their last major battle at this was at the end of season three, and we're now at the beginning of season seven. The Source has fully recovered from their battle, and the sisters themselves are at full power with Piper recovered and Paige at their side.

Piper finds out she's pregnant again a few episodes into the season.

Phoebe finds Coop at the midseason finale, which is also when the demon friend is revealed to be a demon when she makes a move for the kids. Someone gets stabbed (idk who. Andy? Henry?) stopping her but is narrowly saved and the sisters vanquish her.

Phoebe and Coop get married around midseason as well, while Paige and Henry discuss if they want to take that step soon.

The sisters take on and vanquish the Source in the season finale once and for all, which is where I think the big storylines stop.

Shortly after the finale, Piper gives birth to Petra Penelope Halliwell. Phoebe and Coop may or may not have a second kid? Still undecided on that one. Paige and Henry move in together in the flashforward in the series finale and marry a year or two later. Andy and Prue have Pamela as the last next gen kid.

[the-missann]

Coincidences are the easiest way to get me to think of something, so...

Today's topic is getting up to write

Very specifically the challenges associated with not feeling up to writing.

Writing is hard as hell. Anyone who says any different obviously forgot their middle school essay they felt they couldn't finish in a week.

It's not easy to sit alone in a room for hours on end with just your thoughts. Personally, the only reason I'm not out of my mind insane is because I love this shit.

I enjoy detaching myself from reality and falling into my ideas or stories, but sometimes I get lonely. Sometimes I struggle and need some help, and other times I wonder:

Why the hell did I have to be a writer?

I despite writing sometimes and often feel like it's the worst profession right next to the one who cleans the crap in our sewers. That feeling overtakes me and I suffer from "writer's block" in reality, I'm not stumped on a story, I'm just tired of writing and annoyed at the lack of substantial progress.

So, my advice is this. Let that feeling exist. Don't try and pretend like you love writing all the time or maybe you're just a little tired one day. No, chances are, you're probably thinking it was the worst decision of your life to start writing seriously.

And that's okay.

Unlike other professions where you typically have people in your corner cheering you on, no one cares about your writing until you make something they care about. So let yourself be upset, take a break, do other things because when you finally remember that wip you abandoned, it'll welcome you with open arms.

Most, if not all, my stories came from something like this. Especially since I don't have people in my life who even care to acknowledge I'm doing work, this happens all the time, but I've been able to power through it by letting it happen.

You're not gonna love writing all the time, but the times you do love it, will be the most important moments of your life.

With that in mind, I hope you write well today or tonight.

[bluejay73ffs]

When are we gonna be normal about people on the internet again? Like, when are we gonna stop acting like it's okay or funny when content creators who maybe said something homophobic get doxxed and death threats? Like yeah, it sucks when people are shitty, but half the time the drama is over something that happened years ago over something they already apologized for. Regardless of how shitty anyone is, NOBODY deserves to be doxxed. NOBODY deserves to have threats made against their loved ones. NOBODY deserves to have suspicious packages sent to their house.

I see you all out here laughing about it and asking "Who are we gonna cancel next?" and it's disgusting. You don't ACTUALLY care about holding people accountable, you just want someone to be shitty to. So what if Silvervale played the transphobic wizard game? We shouldn't be hating on her en masse and sending her literal death threats over it. So what if JoCat *checks notes* made a funny song about how much he loves women? Don't fucking dox him.

I am saying this as a disabled trans woman, if I see a big content creator making transphobic or ableist posts, I just block them and move on. I'm not a fucking supervillain who is gonna find and post all of their personal information online because that is ridiculously disproportionate to what they did. Like seriously, that's what this is, supervillain "Peter Parker is Spider-Man" shit.

If anything it starts to invalidate your arguments because you're FUCKING DOXXING THEM, and there are NO fucking circumstances in which that makes you the good guy. ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NONE. Jesus Christ I can't believe that we have to go through this over and over and over again. It's not helping, you're making the whole situation far worse actually, for everyone involved, including your own "side" of the argument.

If you wanna hold someone accountable, fine, great even, do that, but do it in a reasonable and productive way. Don't fucking threaten to kill their partner or children or to burn their house down like seriously what the absolute fucking fuck is wrong with you people? It's not woke, it's not progressive, it's not liberal, it's not justified, it's not any of that shit. It's fucking disgusting and I hope every single fucking doxxer gets put in jail where they fucking belong until they learn that it's not okay to do that shit.

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hi, mbti-notes! I wanna start this off by saying that I absolutely adore your blog. There's truly nothing else like it. It's comprehensive, clear, and precise. I've been relying on the material on your blog for psychology for a while now, and I want to give you a massive, massive thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Right, moving on to the purpose of me writing this. Please help me with type assessment (of myself). I have an argument of my type and I hope your analysis of it can give more insight on whether I was accurate or not. I'm an 18F. My MBTI may be ESTP, albeit an immature one.

Stack in order:

[Se] I think I have Se because…

I love experiencing new things. I don't like when nothing much happens in day-to-day life.

I'm usually energetic, especially if the situation is fun and exciting (team sports I like in particular). But when it comes to studying heavy theory about things I don't like/don't care about or hanging out with people I don't feel comfortable with, it feels like all my battery gets sucked out.

It's easy for me to learn something when I jump straight into it and experience it real-time rather than sitting down and hearing someone going on and on about it.

It's difficult for me to sit still for a long time. (Funnily enough, as I was writing this, a classmate was sitting next to me and said she was bored. I instantly stopped writing and jumped to play a game with her.)

I don't like when I have to do the same thing over and over again unless it has a purpose.

I get annoyed when situations are too serious. I prefer to keep things fun and light-hearted.

I see it as it is, say it as it is.

[Ti] I think I have Ti because…

If something doesn't make sense/has flawed logic, I speak up about it OR I keep it to myself because 1. I may be wrong 2. If I say it, people would get hurt.

If I'm forced to learn something, then I instantly lose all my curiosity and do everything in my power to NOT learn it. In contrast, if I discover something interesting and learn it on my own, I become intensely invested in the topic for a while until I reach a block and drop it lol. (The knowledge stays, but most of the time I remain a novice, not being special in anything)

I'm straightforward. It's a double-edged sword. I have people tell me that they admire this trait in me, then get offended when I display it the next day. I have no intention in hurting people, it's just that sometimes the truth hurts, and I'm sorry but I'd prefer they "live wounded" than "die stupidly". It's a sign I care.

I'm firm in my opinions, and don't get deterred when other people tell me their own. If it doesn't make sense to me, then it doesn't. If it does, it does. The part I'm ashamed to admit is that sometimes I'm wrong. I'm working on to not deflect other people's advice and opinions face-value.

[Fe] I think I have Fe because…

Long story short, my parents weren't very present in my childhood because of their jobs. So, I threw myself into befriending people in school and latched onto them for emotional needs. Not only that, many of those so-called friends bullied me over the years. This part of my life built this people-pleaser mentality, and I've only noticed it just recently. I hate it. I want to stop, but it's not easy to get rid of something that's become instinct.

I do want to be taken seriously, but I can't help but joke around. I don't even think when I do it.

Err. Okay. This is gonna sound like bragging. I apologize beforehand. So, many people have told me that I'm "smart", whether they are family, friends, teachers, or strangers. I know this. Sometimes I have moments of doubt, just like anyone, but I know this. Whenever they say it to my face, I act dumb and say "Really? Why do you think that?" just so they continue on praising me. GAH THAT'S SO EMBARRASING OKAY MOVING ON

[Ni] I think I have Ni because…

Whenever I feel stressed out, I isolate myself from others. I lock myself in my room and snap at my loved ones if they try to ask me what's wrong. I become pessimistic and vengeful. I can't focus on anything but the negatives of a situation. During this, I feel like everyone is out to get me, and I can't trust anyone but myself.

So, what do you think? Am I an ESTP? If I am, how can I be better?

------------------------

I'm glad you find my blog helpful, I appreciate you saying so. :)

While there's nothing in your description that jumps out at me as negating ESTP, it's still incomplete. You make a lot of claims about yourself but don't provide enough detailed and concrete examples to back them up. For example, people who've done any job hiring can tell you that everyone claims to be a "fast learner" or insert whatever trait/quality... but where's the PROOF? I need a lot of proof to confirm type with a high degree of confidence. Otherwise, I just take your word for it, which then comes down to whether your word is reliable - it's not really my analysis in the end.

Another issue, the instructions state that you should do a comparison between at least two types. It isn't enough to just confirm the type you think you are, because that makes you vulnerable to confirmation bias. You must also examine the other types and rule them all out systematically. Since you only wrote up one type, am I to assume that no other types fit as well as ESTP? If that's the case, you have your final answer.

As for how you can be better, the question is too general and vague. It would be better to raise specific things you'd like to work on. I'm not here to judge whether you're a good person or anything like that. All I do is offer some info to people who've hit a block or obstacle.

If you are confident about your type, I suggest you consult the Type Development Guide about how to improve your awareness of your functions and learn to use them better. Another thing you can do is analyze your past mistakes and failures for lessons to learn. Another thing you can do is solicit negative feedback/criticism about yourself to discover more opportunities for personal growth.

[alicentsgf]

I’ve honestly been turned off by fans of both teams at this point. I find most of team black annoying and most of team green at this point acts no different. Other than the constant childish arguing, I’ve see a barrage of passive aggressive post against both actors and characters. Some who aren’t even on the show yet. Daenaera? I don’t get that. Atleast 5 people have long rants posted about this girl. People starting annoying shipping wars and hating on female characters over the males it’s ridiculous. This happens in every fandom but it’s turned up to max over here. When the season ended a user posted a drawing mocking Rhaena crying at Laena’s funeral with hundreds of likes and I just knew I would end up not supporting either side. I’m put off by the fandom and I’m just here for the plot.

I fully commiserate anon... the culture is sometimes more toxic than the sw fandom in 2017 and i had grown adults trying to doxx me back then lmaaoo. I really suggest everyone who wants to stick around (and i understand why people wouldnt) just blocks frequently and for the most minor reasons it doesnt even matter if the only reason 'bad vibes' just block away (tho its a struggle on mobile with a side-blog... thats the issue i've been having). I totally get wanting to engage I love to argue as much as the next bitch but its literally never worth it.

I thought about abandoning this blog approx 5 times yesterday fr. I had shit on my posts, dumbasses in my inbox, even blogs i like were beefing on one of my posts. Thats bad form guys. Really bad form. Especially fun to have that all happening on my birthday lol. But unfortunately I also really like talking about this stuff and I have some great mutals and followers I don't want to give up...

So, for now at least, I'm just gonna continue to curate who i interact with heavily, not take things too seriously, and not let myself feel like I owe anyone anything. I suggest everyone else do the same if they want to stick around and stay moderately sane. And for gods sake stay off twitter.

[twfarlan]

Damn but I miss this crew. Wild nights, chummers.

Alt text for those looking for it:

Okay, sit back, cause y'all ain't gonna believe this drek. Hand to sky, this happened exactly as I'm going to describe.

I'm driving the van, which Rook has named "Harold." I legitimately do not want to know why. Rook's passed out in the back, as is Dex who has learned that there's a reason the shake machine at Stuffer Shack is meant to be broken. (He's calling it "Suffer Shack" and I cannot argue.) Butch is polishing her suit or something; lady, I have a tailor in Missoula that you DESPERATELY need to meet. Deadeye is performing surgery on that frickin drone, mounting the Eye of Sour-bun on it. Damn wiring smoke is worse than the leftover Meat Haters pizza Butch claimed. There's a reason no one else had touched it. Dandelion sprouts do not belong on deep dish pizza.

We get a call from Mr. Smuggler Guy, something I may regret. Wants something smuggled, there's a shock. Oh, he wants a LOT of it smuggled. Oh, we have to pick it up. Oh and we probably need to steal it. From the people who stole it in the first place. It's bound for a clinic in Minneapolis-St. Paul, a place where literally nothing and no one else is bound for. I'm thinking of blocking Guy's number.

We pick up a call from a femme of military bearing whom I've decided in hindsight to refer to as "Uniformed Asskicker." She's got field intel and an address, so she's already ahead of us. We park at the Stuffer Shack across from the place we're going to hit to review the plan: she's going in to rough things up, and then we come in like a horde of rabid squirrels. Great plan.

Rook wakes up about the time I drive Harold through the gate and Tokyo drift one orc ganger onto his ass. This would be just in time to see Deadeye kick the back doors of the van open, flip up onto the roof, and start preparing to lasso a semi. Seriously. Butch slings a fierce spell at some concrete that was insulting her, or we can admit she missed. I pull up to the driver's side of the semi, which Deadeye swings over next to planning to hogtie it or some damn thing. Butch takes another shot at the gangers coming our way, this time blasting what I can assume is the next pothole the yard owner will have to fix in the tarmac. (coughwhiffeditcough)

Deadeye sticks that revolver of hers in the face of the semi driver who apparently forgot how to start a push-button semi... well paid rigger, right there. Dude thinks he can grab a gun outta his face, so Deadeye talks cowboy shit and drills him one all over the inside of the cab. Rook has her CDL, thank the spirits, and Deadeye has to sit in the wet spot. Me, I warned Butch to cover her ears, cause Ares makes a shout when he speaks. Damn near strips the clothes off that poor guy I shot. Butch hears the glory of the coming of the bells of St. Mary or some equally tormented metaphors, but still managed to glower at the guy so hard that his soul withered and died. His buddy, seeing the better part of valor, runs headlong into Uniformed Murdergirl, and that's the end of his story.

After the most exciting stuffing of a shack that joint had ever seen, we roll the frag up the highway for a couple of hours. Deadeye is treating us to round 84 of Seelie Dan or Dr. John and the Electric Mayhem or whatever off-key Western mess she was singing, when lo and behold, we find ourselves making a new friend! Mr. Five-Oh pulls over the semi; I can't imagine what made it stand out aside from being graffitied to death by NeoScum and being stolen. I mean, we stole it from people who stole it; doesn't that cancel out? Double negative or something? Butch is sleeping through this and refuses to believe me, but Deadeye was hiding in the sleeper cabin and heard the whole thing. Rook... gave this poor rookie smokey a line of such radioactive bullshit that it made him reconsider being a cop. He walked away; he left his car, man. She punched him in his will to live as a human being. Last I saw him, he was walking off the highway into the woods to join a sasquatch commune. I quit as the resident liar; Rook is Mes ti'Dungmouthiesh: she follows the Way of the Bullshit Artist.

Hand to heaven, y'all. If I'm lying, I'm dying. ... At least, if I'm lying about this. Don't pin me down on anything else right now.

-- Will Rill Hetrick, no regerts (except about deafening Butch; gomen-nasai, omae.)

[wasted-my-time]

The ballad of Janie and Billy, part two: The Bronx.

Sorry it took so long to write, but the damn thing got way too long so I split it in halves to start another part and going "cut-paste" between two posts is probably the most boring thing I ever done so I procrastinated a lot. But good news! It means the next one is partially written!

Warnings: Mentions of sexual abuse involving a teenager (Janie is 17), mentions of murder, swearing, smoking.

Janie was usually not bothered by silence during car rides, but she never had to deal with "We just got rid of a body" kind of silence. The both of them were halfway between the deepest of thoughts and the desperate search for a subject of conversation.

The further they drove, the more deprived the houses around them got, at some point, they reached a block that simply seemed to have been bombarded. No building was left standing, only calcined parts of wall and ruins covered with ashes.

-The heck happened here?! Janie exclaimed.

-Firemen were already busy that night. Her boyfriend answered with a discouraged sigh.

She contemplated the destruction surrounding the car with, her eyes and mouth wide open, not believing what she saw. The more bizarre to her is that after a left turn, they were back to a completely normal view: Yes, the constructions had seen brighter days, but still looked like habitable, from what she could see.

-Now, a few things you should know: Half of the people here works or has worked for the Old Man at some point... Billy started to explain.

-Wait, were as dead as rats! Janie interrupted him.

-Let me finish, about 75% of the population hates him for a reason or another, but everybody, and I mean EVERYBODY fears him to a certain degree. That's what makes the world go round down here, Money, hate and fear.

-So we can use these to hide and stay alive.

-Exactly. He confirmed and parked the car into the inner yard of an apartment edifice.

-What are we doing here?

-A bonfire.

They grabbed their suspicious packages and Billy emptied a metallic trashcan on the pavement, then threw all they had to burn inside it. He got his pack of matches out of his pocket, that's when they heard the sound of a gun being cocked right behind them.

-Didn't know you were working for the owners now, Billy? A voice said before they had time to turn around and grab their own revolvers.

When Billy saw the smiling black guy talking to him from the building's doorstep, his face relaxed into a laughing grin.

-Oh, come on Jack, you know me better than that, I'm way too proud for that!

-I'm just kidding, but seriously, what the heck are you doing? He asked before putting his gun down.

Janie gave her accomplice a scared look and shouted before he could open his mouth:

-We're burning bed sheets!

It was only then that she realized what her declaration could let suppose.

-Ha, ha! Let me tell you Billy, it sounds like you've got some amelioration to do! Jack bursted into laughter.

He took a few steps toward them and took a look to the content of the trashcan, only to jump back, freaked out of his mind.

-What the fuck happened?

-Hmmpf... She killed her father. Billy sighed.

-What?! So you're telling me that Snow White, right here, killed her old man!

Poor Jack, it wasn't the last of his surprises.

-Much more than this, she killed THE Old Man. He confirmed.

-FU-CKING HE-LL! There's gonna' be a war when everyone gets the news! He exclaimed. Why in the world did you do that, Snow White?

-He was... She began before taking a deep breath to make the lump in her throat go away, then said to Billy in a whisper: Please, tell him, I, I can't...

-He, he abused her. For years.

-Oh, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked.

-It's not your fault, you couldn't know. She assured.

-If you guys need help, you can always call me.

-No, you can't afford to get in trouble with us, what would your mother and sister do? Billy retorted.

-You're probably right, but still... You know where to find me. Now don't lose any more time in here, before someone sees you.

-Yes, just let me burn this mess.

He lit a match and threw the whole pack in the trashcan, then he got out his cigarettes and lit one frome the growing flames.

-Want a smoke? He offered to Jack, knowing that Janie didn't.

-Na thanks, I'm quitting.

-Before we go, could you explain me the "working for the owner" thing? Janie asked, refering to what Jack first said when he approached them.

-Well, you see those pieces of shit around here. Jack started to explain, pointing at the buildings around them. They are so worthless that the landlords make more money by setting fire to them and taking the insurance compensations than by actually exploiting them!Families are thrown in the streets because of that!*

-Assholes!

-Couldn't be more right, Snow White. Now, go, for real, you guys have no time to loose!

-Goodbye, Jack. She greeted him. Oh and, my name is Janie.

-Take care, Snow White. He answered with a small nod.

Billy hugged his friend and whispered:

-Hope I'll see you again, mate. Take care. And if there are bad news, ask Bernie for the key to my apartment.

Their eyes met and Jack nodded gloomily, because if they were realistic for a second, there was no chance that they would come out of this story unharmed.

He took place in the car where Janie was already waiting for him.

-It's true that you look like Snow White. He smiled to her before turning the car on.

-Oh, shut up. She chuckled as they drove out of the yard.

-He looks like a nice guy. She commented.

-Jack? Heck yeah, the unluckiest and most hardworking fellow I ever met. His parents had a place in Harlem, but it burned down two years ago, his father died that night. Now they live in this dump for way too expensive. He has two jobs and her mother works her ass off in a hospital, she's a nurse. His little sister has some respiratory disease, apparently it's a miracle she made it passed eight years and well, the treatments are quite expensive so... You know.

Shocked by what she just learned, Janie went back to the same heavy silence that surrounded them before.

-I'll be right back, Billy said and parked the car by the first telephone booth they saw.

He jumped out of his seat and rang his uncle.

-Bernie? He asked when he heard that someone was picking up.

-Yes, son, what is it?

-I'm in trouble, can I come to your place?

-Is it the kind of trouble that may get you killed?

-Me, you and probably half of our friends.

-Didn't know we had any friends. Come here as fast as you can!

-Thank you, a lot! Bye.

-No problem, son. The other man hung up.

-You're going to have the pleasure of meeting my family. He said to Janie as he got back inside.

-Is it a good thing? She asked with a chuckle.

-Bernie ain't the worst one of the lot, I would say.

-------------------------------------------------------

*It was a surprisingly common in South Bronx during the 70s, people even reported moving several times because their apartments were burnt down. The whole situation was aggravated by redlining and the fact that the city reduced the number of firefighters in the area.

Next part, probably a quick(er) one: You can't choose your family.

[lilalbatross]

5, 10, 15, 16, 19, 27, 29, 30 for the ao3 ask meme <33

oh boy okay here we go

5. What work of yours got more feedback than you expected?

definitely Anything for you, my Shoresy fic. teeny tiny fandom for a weird niche canadian hockey comedy, but the response i got was really lovely and it's somehow in my top 5 for kudos, comments, and bookmarks. that was the first thing i posted after a couple brutal months for mental health and writers block, so those comments and stuff are really special to me

and then a special mention to chapters 6 and 7 of Austin Alone because people came fucking flying out of the woodwork to scream at us within the first couple hours of posting lmao i don't think i'll ever see anything like that ever again

10. What work was the quickest to write?

oh hands down it's What the fuck is with the spatula?, which i wrote in a single 4ish-hour sitting and a lot of that time was spent rewatching the Are You The One? ep they're watching so i could get the sequence of events right lmao. look, i just have a lot of feelings about drunk idiots brute forcing their way through complex probability with a spatula, and i needed to project that onto my otp

15. What WIP are you taking into next year with you?

dragging the carcasses of so many half-written fics, but trying to actively work on Acesodyne, which is a billy x owen post-1x07 multichap canon divergence about injury and music and grief and healing and i’m trying not to let it spiral out of control and it may not ever get posted even if i do finish it but hey we’ll give it a shot.

also determined to actually finish Downpour, which literally started as just “i bet if they stood in the rain Billy’s hair would get in his face and it would be cute and Owen would kiss him about it” and somehow turned into a bit of a trauma and body worship thing??? idk don’t ask me i don’t have any answers but i do have a 2.5k partial draft that i should put some hours into

16. What’s your most common “Additional Tags” tag?

lol it's "Established Relationship" from all my billy x owen oneshots where they're together at the start and i'm not giving you all the fucking backstory for how that happened, just jump in and we're off.

(...but also you and i know that the "how that happened" is usually Austin Alone if people know what details to look for lmao)

19. What’s one pairing you want to explore next year?

i don’t see myself drifting away from billy x owen any time soon, so definitely gonna keep thinking about those bastards more than literally anybody else in this fandom (except you lol). i also want to do more Shoresy/Goody. i wrote the one oneshot, but i have a multichap outline that needs some massaging and i think could be interesting. and i get to slam more canadiana into fic, which i really can’t do when all my other shit takes place in texas lmao

and then i’m sure i’ll get surprised by a pairing and end up spitting out something isn’t even on my radar yet. who knows, maybe i’ll finally find a Ted Lasso pairing that i want to write about. Colin and...[insert name here idk we’ll see but if i write about anyone it’ll probably be Colin]

27. What do you listen to while writing?

*gestures vaguely at my entire spotify wrapped* no but seriously. depends on the fic but i’ll generally have a playlist, album, or even song that i loop for each fic. sitting there long after midnight had a very angsty playlist. touch the sky and bite the asphalt was Maneskin’s album Teatro d’ira hence the fic title. i’m pretty sure with a gift for burning was Let Me Drown by Orville Peck. Acesodyne’s playlist is heavier on acoustic guitar/pop-punk because it’s a lot of songs that i know how to play on guitar so i can connect a physicality to what i’m trying to write

29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

gonna resist every bone in my body that wants to be self-deprecating and couch this with all the weaknesses i see etc etc. big fan of this paragraph from with a gift for burning:

So many voices he wants to hear tonight. Numbers he knows by heart, burned into his muscle memory and connected to nothing. Harkes’ line had stayed in service the longest. Nobody canceled his contract, and it rang to voicemail for months before the unpaid bills piled up and his line was cut off. Billy called, again and again on bad nights, until his mouth shaped the words in time with Harkes’ rhythm. “Yo, it’s Jake. Leave a message if you want, but you should have just texted.” The last time he called, a confused teenage girl picked up and Billy threw his phone against the wall.

I was a little drunk when i wrote it, and then when i reread it i immediately had a moment of “oh :(” and then i knew i was onto some shit and it helped me break the direction the rest of the fic was gonna go lol

30. Biggest surprise while writing this year?

I did not expect my stuff to steer so hard into angst quite as much as it does???

but also in some ways biggest surprise was just that i...can... (don’t look at me)

send me ao3 wrapped questions if you want

[demcnsinmymind]

It was oh so funny. He was the one lugging the demon spawn around. Breaking light bulbs and god knew what else. Yet he was the one flinching through every last action of hers. The raised voice. Brushing past him to block his exit. The harsh Seriously? Every last thing she was doing freaked him the hell out. Made him want to leave even more. But of course. She was in the way now. Blocking the door. And unlike his demonic tag along, he did not want to hurt her. So all he could do was stay for now.

"I don't think you're stupid" Lance replied, though eventually, his passenger's anger was starting to spill over. Made him frown. Ball his own hands into fists as well.

"I know it didn't hurt you. I would never let it do that. I told you. That's not the fucking point, Tyler" Lance spat, but other than that remained perfectly still.

"Just how exactly do you think this is gonna keep going, hm? Do you seriously believe I'm just gonna stay here, eat all your food, use up your water, sleep in your bed and you..."

It only just now clicked. What had actually made him want to run. Made him feel so helpless. So...angry.

It was angry about your nightmares. It broke the light. It said you'd have died without it. And somethin' about Friedkin.

"I don't want you to fucking see me like this. When I can't even control what you're seeing. Or hearing. It is fucking personal. And no. It's not because of it. It's me. It's the entire fucking sleeping thing I cannot afford to do here. But I am tired, and I'd like to do it somewhere else. Now get out of the way, please. I've had more than enough of people trying to keep me fucking prisoner."

Sleeping.

Now it was really hitting him like a freight train. That it was even more.

The last time he'd fallen asleep, somewhat against his will because he'd known what could happen...she'd been gone. Sasha. Taken, when he'd been out. Bad fucking things happened whenever he fell asleep. Nightmares. Chaos. All of it. Tyler was close enough to that whole dilemma. From before. An actual connection. Maybe even a friend. He couldn't take another crude wake up call. Whether it was waking up to see horror edged upon her face from broken light bulbs and invasive reading of her thoughts. Or waking up to seeing her gone the next time. All by herself and as a choice of her own. Because she was scared even though he would never let it hurt her.

Better make the first move.

Tyler did what she could to continue calming herself, taking more deep breaths until they started to became less shaky. She seemed to actually be succeeding, her heartrate slowly beginning to return to normal, until her attention was drawn to that small movement on the nightstand. There wasn’t quite time for her to take in what it was before he spoke… which was probably for the best all things considered.

Her eyes landed back on Lance, frowning while he got up. When she realised exactly what he was intending to do, she was on her feet immediately.

She’d been trying so hard. This whole time she’d been trying to keep her shit together. Tying to keep her temper under control. Trying to keep her fear in check. All to make sure she didn’t freak him out. The only reason she’d managed to keep herself semi-stable during this whole thing was because of who she was dealing with here. Because this was her friend. This was Lance. Sure, she’d lost her grip on things when his passenger had shown up, but she’d stayed when all she’d wanted to do was run. Most other people would have found themselves speaking to a Tyler shaped cloud of dust like some Looney Tunes cartoon she’d have run away so damn fast. But for him? For him she'd held it together.

Until now anyway.

“Seriously?”

Ty marched her way over to the door, swiftly blocking his exit from the room. Her patience had been pushed well beyond it’s usual limits. It was the the straw that broke the camels back and suddenly she was yelling at him, all of that stress exploding out of her. Lucky for both of them that her powers were well out of reach. A few years earlier, and more than just one bulb would have been shattered by now.

“Do you think I’m that fuckin’ stupid?” Hands balled into fists at her side. She was shaking, but it had nothing to do with fear this time. She was angry. More than that, she was absolutely enraged.

“After everythin’ I did tryin’ to find you, you think I’m gonna just sit here while you run off at the first little scare?"

"Nothin’ bad happened! It didn’t hurt me! So sit your ass back down!”

[sleeplessvalley]

actually fuck this

an art piece someone worked on. maybe it has some words on it. maybe it's a whole comic! if you misread it initially you just mentally correct yourself and move on

don't bring it up

definitely don't make it visible to the artist

especially don't if it's something they clearly worked really hard on

more often than not they're probably gonna want to maim you. doubly so if you don't even seem to acknowledge the art and just laugh at how you read it initially because it WILL seem like you're saying 'lmao you're fucking dumb for formatting the words like this'

[fatuismooches]

Guys, I've been having some severe Capitano brain rot. And I've been thinking about this idea for a while so I'm just gonna put it here...

---

Imagine that you're a mercenary, and you get hired by some guy to fight against some people. The pay was generous, so you obviously accepted, however, he failed to mention that you were fighting against the Fatui. And a Harbinger was with them. But nonetheless, you fulfill your job and keep them at bay.

For the first few days, you fight against some regular soldiers along with your allies and it's hardly a battle, with how quickly you sweep them. That is, until the Harbinger comes to end it himself. Capitano, you heard his name from the other people your employer hired, shriveling with fear. At this point, you're the only one who's willing to fight him.

The Harbinger was huge, towering over everyone in sight. You guess he wasn't expecting anyone to challenge him because of his sheer dominating presence but then comes little old you. You're starting to feel a little dumb by the way his neck is craning to look down at you but nevertheless, you position your sword and prepare for battle.

You're glad when he finally takes you seriously and heaves his claymore with ease and swings at you, but you also dodge that attack with ease. It looked like it'd be hard to get close to him so you opt for throwing daggers. You couldn't tell if he was surprised that you survive that but he also blocks the attack effortlessly.

It wasn't hard to tell everyone was shocked you lasted more than ten seconds against Capitano. But before anything else could happen, night begins to fall, a signal of a temporary ceasefire as both sides would have trouble fighting, and needed to recover from the day.

You start to retreat but before you could, a deep voice inquires about your name. You introduce yourself and Capitano nods, introducing himself as well before leaving. You think he respects you!

You decide to get some alone time so you head out for a walk in the woods to clear your head. But you did not expect to run into Capitano! You stiffen, ready for anything, but he doesn't seem interested in fighting you, at least not now. He's a man of honor, you think. So you just sit down, take in the night breeze and the pretty stars with the man next to you.

You don't know why you keep coming back, but you do. He doesn't say much, but you do, apparently since he's interested in how you became so strong. So you just talk and he just listens, and over time you find yourself sitting closer and closer to him. He shows you how fond the animals of the forest are of him, and you demonstrate some of your favorite techniques. You engage in things no one knows about, silently tending to each other's wounds.

During the day, you battle. During the night, you chat like friends. It was an interesting relationship.

Eventually, he asked you to leave your side and come to his one. You laugh and say that all mercenaries have a contract, and you can't just up and leave, much less to the other side. He seems disappointed but accepts it (for now.)

But after a while, your employer gives up the fight due to immense pressure from the Fatui, and you're free to go. Before you could leave to find your next employer though, Capitano stops you. *lots of fluff ensues blah blah* and he whisks you back to Snezhnaya with him and marries you.

(Then all of the soldiers who were there start spreading the news of how you two met. Capitano starts to feel a little embarrassed. Also, you two training new Fatui recruits and they don't know how to feel when there's the big, hulking, menacing Captain and then little old darling you there, smiling brightly.)

[cirqosmos]

|ROUTE 1: Heeseung|A Story That Starts With a Text

📃summary: when you installed a dating app to just mess around with random people, not knowing that you were turning your peaceful life into a bloody one the moment you sent that text.

🥀genre: yandere, angst, fluff

🥀warning: cursing, kleptomaniac! reader, alcohol, suggestive content, future non-con w a minor involved! (only in one ep, 18+ only mdni! — this is only for entertainment, I don’t condone this behaviour), in this ep — mentions of suicide and self harming, cuts and bruises, drugs, blood.

🥀pairing: heeseung x fem!reader

🥀word count: 15.8k

🖋️a/n: EP 7 finally done! I'll be quite busy with my studies from now on, so the update for EP 8 would be slower than EP 7 so I hope you'll all be patient, and thank you for reading my story! As always reblogs and comments are highly appreciated, they're the greatest motivation for writers ^^

EDIT: please stop spam liking, it gets me shadowbanned. Seriously read the rules, properly abide by it. If you keep ignoring it, it means you don't care any less of what happens to my blog then I have no choice but to do the same, by blocking you. Please understand.

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| EPISODE 7 : FOOLS |

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And here you are once again, grounded. Mind completely breaking down over the many things that happened today, ruffling your hair between your fists; you were completely dumbfounded. Another day had passed, then a few days, it had felt like an eternity as you lay on the floor.

You opened your eyes as the sunlight poured through the window laying itself on your face. You sat up, you won’t believe this. You’ll have to do something. You won’t believe that everything was fake, that everything was just a hallucination.

You refuse to believe it.

Chaeryeong, yes Chaeryeong. She’s the only one that would prove to you that you weren’t hallucinating. Someone is fooling you, and you know that. There’s no way everything was just a hallucination. Someone was playing a fucking game on you, you don’t know who but you’ll eventually find out.

Next day eventually comes, and you open your window slightly and jump through it. You wince in pain when you get hurt a bit in the process, but you won’t turn back when there’s only one answer left.

You go through many places you and Chaeryeong had spent time together, from the hiding spot to the nearest cafe in the city. With harsh breathing and beads of sweat forming on your forehead because of the scorching sunlight

It went on for hours and hours, and you felt a sudden rush of wave to just give up but you ain't gonna do that when your own best friend was going missing and no one, and by that not even a single person in this whole city was looking for her, not even her own family. If you gave up on her, then who would? And the fact she was the only answer left to all your questions.

Clenching your fists, you took in a new sense of determination to continue looking for her. Opting to go along the streets where it leads to her house once again, you're going to ask her parents again. Knocking hastily on the door was met with no response, it goes on for a while that it seems there was no one in the house. Putting your hands on your knees to take a quick long and deep breath with your eyes on the ground, the door in front of you finally opens.

But the sight made your jaw drop.

"Ch-chaeryeong?"

"Oh. (Name)."

You were hit with a huge relief passing through all your veins and without much thought, you throw yourself on her, embracing her with a tight hug. "You're safe! I'm glad! I'm really glad!

Tears was threatening to come out of your eyes but you pay no attention to it when your bestfriend was clearly here, all safe and well in front of you.

"S-safe? Wh–"

"Are you hurt anywhere? Huh?" You pulled her arm, inspecting any wounds or anything you could find. "What happen!?"

"(Name)! What are you saying?" Chaeryeong chuckles, pulling out from your grasp.

"God. I'm glad you don't even have an ounce of scratch in your skin-" you bend over, and anything inspecting her skin. "Or I swear I'm gonna kill whoever-"

"Oh my god, (name) what's wrong-"

"Huh! Speaking of that, what happened!?"

"What? What happened??"

"Yea! You got kidnapped right!? Who was it??"

"wait what? Slow down- what are you talking about? Kidnap? Jesus Christ."

"What are you saying? You called me right? The other day!" You exclaimed.

"Holy crap, (Name). Didnt I always call you?-"

"No!! You called me! On weekends. You called me for help!"

"Why would I call you for help, goddamnit. Jesus, what did you ate."

"What are you saying!? (name)?"

—

Drifting along the street, and the world seems to go on their way while you were too deep in thought. Completely baffled and dumbfounded over all of the things had happened. Were you dreaming? You let out a dry laugh, was everything just really a hallucination?

Your mind goes back to the time you talked to Chaeryeong again, as you tried to make sense of it.

"But it was you.. it was clearly you.." you said in a low voice.

"Jesus Christ! (Name). Did a ghost haunt you? Okay, okay. Tell me when did I call you and what did I tell you."

"You called for me in the middle of the night, on weekends!! Your voice was sore and l-like you were in p-pain!--" raising both your hands in a manner to try to get your words out, as your best friend listens to you with confusion written on her face. "you were asking for my help and then all of a sudden you cut off the line, as if someone had pulled you or I don't know caught you-"

"Wow, that's a hella detailed story there- you can be a writer." Your best friend jokes but stops when she sees your serious face. "Okay, alright alright, my bad."

"What were you doing when I supposedly called you that night?" she asked, and then the memories of you and your sister fighting came through.

Shaking your head, "it was just after the party-"

"The party!? You're partying?!" She suddenly exclaimed, raising her voice clearly surprised by what you said.

"I followed my sister! Okay?" You defended yourself.

"Oh okay okay." letting out a heavy sigh, your best friend looks up in the air trying to make sense of something. "I don't know if I can say this though.."

"Just say it."

"But even if it was, it couldn't have been that detailed.." your bestfriend smiles awkwardly.

"Just what, just say it."

"Drugs."

"What?" Your eyes widened. "Are you saying!?"

"Okay look! I'm not saying that. But- like I said it might not seem like it, but it's the closest thing I could think of (name)." Your best friend reasoned with you, giving you a concerned look.

—

Still incredibly shocked over what happened. You really had no idea how you can hallucinate such clear and detailed events. You couldn’t be taking drugs!? Chaeryeong’s call, Heeseung’s text, the car accident, and then Chaeryeong herself admitted to having never called you. What’s the actual fuck was happening to you!?

'Am I going insane?' you put your head on your hands as you groaned.

“(NAME!)” the loud angry voice of your father snapped you out of your deep thoughts.

“Shit.” you cursed in a low voice, you were too deep in thought that you didn't realize you were walking back straight to home. Having broken the grounded rules, you know what waits for you is no easy feat. Fixing your hair slightly and regaining your composure, you observe as your mom follows behind your father with an immense concern expression on her face.

“Where have you been!?”

“I’m sorry..” was the only thing you could let out after everything that had happened.

“Why did you do that!?”

“You broke the rules, goddamnit!”

“Go inside! We’re going to talk about this.”

“And, you’re done. I can’t really believe you, (Name).”

Confused, you look up to your mom. “What are you saying?”

“Get inside!”

“Okay i'm going!”

“Okay i get it you’re mad that i broke the rules! But can you listen to my explanation first!? I went to Chaeryeong’s-”

��That is one thing! (Name). But you stole our stuff! The paper and everything!”

“W-what?”

—

All the stuff that your parents had been looking for all this time was laid on the top of the table, scattered with a piece of plastic.

“You see all this shit!? You stole all of this!”

“You promise to us you won’t do it again! (Name). I thought you knew better already!”

“I didnt. I swear mom! Dad!”

“We found it in your room. Inside a plastic bag!”

You felt incredibly helpless at this point. The world in your view began to shatter and everything seems to get lost in void, with your parents screaming and blaming you. Heavy eyes and rough breathing, you couldn’t even cry anymore, you wanted to but you can’t. You’re getting tired. Tired. Everything is fucking tiring.

“No! You’re bullshitting me! I didn’t steal that, I swear! Please trust me!”

Their angry expressions and loud voice irritates you more than it should. It shouldn’t have been that annoying but for some reason, you want to bang your head on the wall and scream at them but you hold on for a little more.

Then you notice your dad pulling out his phone amidst your heavy crying, “Ms. Koo, is it possible if we can bring her now? Ah. yes. Yes.”

“Dad, what are you doing?” Your mouth trembles as you walk over to your dad trying to get the phone away from him.

“You’re meeting Ms. Koo-”

“I don’t want to meet her! What the fuck is wrong with all of you!??”

“Language (name)! Don’t raise your voice over your mom!”

“No! No! Why are you all doing this to me!? Fucking piece of shit!” you saw red. At last, you felt an immense betrayal, anger, and sadness rushing all over your being all mixed together with the throbbing headache, suffocation in your lungs to the point you wanted to vomit. Grabbing the nearest stuff on the table and throwing it on the ground smashing its contents,

“(NAME)!!!” you heard your parent’s angry protests for you to stop, but you wanted nothing but to express your anger and everything you bottled up inside. Smashing every bit of them.

Everything is so fucking tiring. You are tired. Gritting your teeth and clenching your jaw, you wanted to express how angry you were. How mad and how hurt you felt.

“Why! Of all people! I stole, yes! I stole from others! But never did I steal from our family! Maybe I did to Unnie! But that was because! Because! Because!!!” you screamed, smashing another vase. This wasn’t you. The composed and calm you. That thought immediately passed through you, which made you immediately halt your hands from smashing another vase.

What’s wrong with you?

Within a split moment, you felt a huge smash on your head making you fall on the ground, making you pass out.

—

Your eyes fluttered open slowly only to be met with the white ceiling, your heartbeat immediately quickens because the scene was all too familiar with you. You knew where you are. Your body wants to move but you felt so weak, you moved your head slightly and you saw an old woman in, a nurse, with a syringe filled with blood and you observed as she placed it among other syringes. Your breath hitched as you caught on, she must’ve drawn blood from you, you immediately tried to see which arm she took from and you breathed in relief as it was from your right arm. They couldn’t have seen it right?

“You’re awake.” an old lady went in and usher the nurse to continue with her job. You scoffed, you knew her, your same old therapist since you were a child.

The private therapist your family had assigned for you when they found out you had kleptomaniac, she was the one that reported to your family whenever you did something, from the smallest to the biggest ones, she did it. However she once promised you that you will one day be cured from your condition and that she will help you through all of it, never gonna leave your side no matter what happens.

No matter what happens.

You trusted her. But one day, she had brought you with her for a walk to the town, to give you candies and make your day. She excused herself for the restroom, and you find yourself lost in the crowd. As a child, you weren’t aware so when you can't help but do it again; and the consequences were a living nightmare for you. Your parents, your sister, neither your grandparents weren’t there to defend you.

The angry voices of the crowd mocking you, you look for her amongst the crowd and there she was; looking at you with that gaze, the same gaze all of other people had thrown upon you. You cried, just like the small fragile child you were, moving closer to her to take that warm loving embrace she had promised. But she didn’t. She didn’t. She didn’t acknowledge you but instead mock you amongst the crowd as well and so you despised her for it. After many years growing up, you finally realized she had intended to leave you in a place you couldn’t control yourself to steal, to put yourself in a situation where you no one but only you are left alone to defend yourself. It doesn’t really matter now, to be honest. Just seeing her, irks you a bit.

“When I heard from your parents that you have successfully healed from your condition, it was so much to say that I didn't believe it. After all, a kleptomaniac will always be a kleptomaniac..” she walks closer to you, a smile slowly curving up, “And i was right. How silly, sweetheart.”

“Shut up.” you spat out. In which she chuckled.

You frowned, trying to sit up. But you felt as if there was a strong force pulling you down back to the bed, weakness spiraling over you. And then your head aches once again.

“Don’t force yourself, sweetheart..” she chuckled, “your parents had sent you here for me to ‘fix’ your condition again, and i was to say the least, were amused.” she leans towards the window, glancing at your parents and your sister outside the hospital.

“Fix, they said. Wealthy people are all the same..” she let out an exaggerated sigh, now looking at you and as if she had read your mind. “You know why I didn't take you last time? To cradle you like a lost baby when you came to me?”

“It’s because I hate wealthy kids like you. Brats who think they can get anything by crying and an attention seeker. But I guess you’re turning to it now, and even worse. How unfortunate.” you could care any less about what she said, but you were left confused about her last sentence.

She walks closer to you, stroking your arm. “That you had another condition, how amusing.”

“W-what? What are you saying?”

Sighing, “Come in, Mrs. Kim and Sir. Kim.” the door opens, revealing your parents with their faces were nothing but fatigue, and your mom’s puffy eyes, your dad letting out a heavy sigh as he took a quick glance at you before looking at your psychiatrist.

Biting your lips as you look down to your hands, what’s happening?

“What should we do now?” Your dad asked her, taking quick glances at you.

“I suggest that we should take her for further treatment, she should be hospitalized.”

“What are you saying? Why should i go there!?”

“Yeah? Her condition isn't that bad for her to get hospitalized?” your mom asked with concern.

“That’s not what I'm talking about, because unfortunately, I found something else.”

“Wh-what?”

“Pull your sleeve up, your left arm.”

“N-no, why should I?” you instinctively covered your upper left arm covered with the material of your shirt.

“Why not? Show us, sweetheart.” your psychiatrist smirks, “We can’t help you if you don’t show it to us.”

“What’s with her left arm? Is there something with it?” your parents asked.

“N-no, there’s nothing. Forget about it.” you reasoned.

“We can’t forget about it, it’s rather serious that we-”

“It’s been a long time ago! Why are you sticking your fucking nose in my business!? Huh!?” you yelled at the top of your lungs at your psychiatrist.

“No- what? What’s happening?”

“Then I guess I have to take much harsher actions.”

“N-no! Stay away!” you screamed, as she moved closer to you, pulling your left arm. “Don’t touch me!! Get away!”

“Mom! Dad!”

“What are you doing!?” your mom cried out.

“Mam, you have to see what your own daughter was doing to herself all these years.” with so much struggle, she finally pulls your sleeve up. Revealing your bare left arm in front of your parents. And the sight shocks your parents to their core.

“(name)!!” they both exclaimed at the same time, shocked at the sight of the scars on your left arm. Some were fairly old, brownish dots and with some old deep cuts splattering all over your upper left arm.

“See? This is unacceptable, (Name) has been hurting herself, and we can’t let this happen.”

“Why are you doing this!? Since when!?” you kept quiet, mouths trembling as you tried to keep yourself from crying. Arms aching due to your therapist caging you with her arms, while pulling your left arm to the sight of your parents.

“Just why? Why!?” your mom puts her face into the comfort of her hands as she cries into them.

Thus your nightmare had begun, as your parents had agreed to let you stay in the hospital. You could do nothing but stay helpless as you sat on the floor and watched them decide your future, breaking down as you can’t believe that your life was turning into a mess. It was all doing well all this time, you managed to keep it for many years so why? Why do they have to find out about it? Especially now? Why now!?

“I won’t fucking let you keep me in this shitty place!” You screamed at them, pushing your psychiatrist aside, storming out of the room and running as fast as you could before they could catch you.

—

The light rain greeted you as soon as you left through the hospital’s entrance, your clothes soon getting drenched, but you couldn’t care any less as you had only one thing in mind; to run. To run away from all of them, who doesn’t trust you one bit, who doesn’t understand you nor tries to understand you. Not even your sister, who you had thought would trust you. No one. But were you selfish for even asking for that? That’s why you weren’t getting any of the warmth you’ve been hoping for? Was that it?

Just then, you felt a hand suddenly grabbing your arm preventing you from running. You gasped but soon anger came through you as you turned around to see who it was.

“L-let go of me!” you trashed around, trying to break free from Heeseung’s strong grasp.

“No wait! What’s wrong!?’

“Let go! Freak!”

“(Name)! Calm down! What’s wrong!?” you successfully break free from his grasp, running as fast as u can away from the hospital but he managed to hold you by your wrist again, preventing you from running.

“What’s wrong with you!? At Least tell me first!”

“Get the fuck away from me!”

“(Name)!!”

“What the fuck do you want!?” you screamed, “What? Are you here to make fun of me too!? Scream at me and yell at me for something i didn't do!?”

“You’re already ruining my relationship with my sister!! What else do you want!?” you cried out.

“W-what? Ruin? What are you saying?”

“Yea! Not only that, but because of you now! Because of that stupid party! Now i'm going to a freakin 'hospital!”

“Hospital, w-what? Are you sick?” Heeseung’s expression became worried the moment he heard what you said.

Scoffing, “Stop fucking acting! Isn’t that what you want!? You piece of shit!!”

“Why do you hate me so much!?”

You let out an exaggerated sigh, angry tears coming out from your eyes. “Goddamnit, just stay away from me!” you turned around again, but Heeseung was adamant to not letting you go.

“What the fuck!! Let me go!” you warned, “If you don’t let me go, I’ll scream and people will arrest you!”

“Let me go.”

“Then do it.”

“H-huh?”

“I won’t let you go, it’s dangerous out there!”

“Bullshit. Let me go.” you tried to break your hands away from his grasp again. “Let me go!!!”

“Running away from your problems won’t do you any good! (Name)!”

“What do you know!? What do you know about me!?” you cried out, “Nothing! So how do you know running away won’t do me any good!?”

“I know that we don’t know each other that much, but i’ve promised!”

“I’ve promised that i would be your good friend, and that by being good friend. I would protect you and trust you-”

“Don’t ever say that word. Fuck. I don’t believe you.”

“But I trust you.”

“Shut up!”

“I trust you! I know you didn’t steal my sister’s necklace back in the party.”

“Yeah right!? Keep acting like the righteous person you are!”

“I’m not lying! And why do you keep saying that? What did I do?”

“How can you be so sure, huh? With my fucking condition, no one ever trusted me. Not even my parents, not even my sister! Fuck, maybe they did. But- but..” stopping yourself to cry, you mouth trembles.

“(Name)..”

You glared at him, “So how can you!? Huh!?” gritting your teeth, “How!?”

“Because I do! I can feel it!” Heeseung cried, “I just know you won’t steal again, when I see how you love your sister and care for her. I knew at that time. I know you won’t ever steal again so please just believe me!”

“Don’t lie.” you said in a low voice, “Don’t lie!”

“I’m not!” he held both your arms because you were hitting his chest.

“Don’t l-lie!” you finally cried. “No you don’t! You’re just lying!”

“Just shut up for once (name)!” he yells at you, he pulls you into his embrace, your head falling to his chest, and his hands stroking your hair. “I trust you. And I will protect you as long as I'm here.”

“L-let go of me!!” you keep thrashing around but he tightly holds you, not letting you go.

—

And now here you are, standing behind Heeseung as he reasoned with your parents to how they could keep you here and not even try to listen to what you said. You could only keep quiet as you were already so tired, tired of everything. It goes on for what seems like eternity before your psychiatrist eventually suggests to cast a vote, a vote to decide whether you’ll stay here or not. To your relief, your mom doesn’t actually agree with your dad to keep you here but she doesn’t have a choice but to go along with his decision earlier. But now, along with Heeseung’s word, she voted to keep you out of this place, saying that this hospital won’t do you any good. It would be so much better if you were just at home, for her to take care of you.

However, your psychiatrist and your dad voted otherwise. You had expected that from them so you weren’t that really surprised despite your broken heart. Heeseung voted to keep you out from here, making you really feel grateful upon hearing that. For some reason, you weren’t allowed to vote since in fact, it was about you so now it’s 2 votes against 2.

It was a tie.

“Now get me out of here. It’s a fucking tie, you can’t keep me here.” You spat out behind Heeseung’s back to your psychiatrist. Silence ensues as your psychiatrist was deep in thought, thinking of what to do.

“Just stop thinking, god.” Heeseung sighed, “Let’s go, (Name).” he took your hands in his.

“She should stay here.” you turned to look around to see your sister standing at the doorway.

“Unnie?”

“After all that happens, are you still going to let her out there?” Chaewon spat out, glaring at you. You can’t believe it. You can’t believe what you’re hearing from her right now. Your mouths trembling, tears threatening to come out from your eyes again.. She can’t be?

“Are you saying it’s better for (Name) to stay here?” your psychiatrist asked her.

“Yeah, you should get treated and get better. (Name).”

“But I'm not sick!’” You yelled at the top of your lungs, gritting your teeth.

“I fucking doubt that. Do you really think you deserve to be out there after what you did?”

“So it’s 3 votes against 2.” Your psychiatrist fixes her glasses, straightening her posture as she calls for the nurses.

“You can’t do this to me..” you shook your head in desperation, falling to the ground in which Heeseung immediately held you. “How can you do this to me!?”

“I’m the one who should be asking you that. Why are you doing this to us?” Chaewon asked calmly, raising her eyebrows at you with that same gaze. That gaze. That fucking gaze.

“Chaewon! You can’t do this to her!” Heeseung protested, which immediately made Chaewon glare at him.

“She’s been insulting and accusing you all this time, and even Heemin!? Heeseung, for fuck’s sake. You’re too kind, but for once please don’t meddle with our family’s business.” Chaewon clasp her hands together, then she looks down at you, “You don’t know just what kind of girl she is.”

“Chaewon! She’s still your sister!” Your mom cried out, walking to your side.

“That’s the reason! She’s my sister that’s why we should let her get treated and not let her out there with her fucking condition! See? She’s also hurting herself! Isn’t that what insanes do?”

Insane?

“Watch your mouth, Chaewon!” Your mom yelled at her, whilst your dad stayed silent. You immediately caught on that your dad was siding your sister.. He, too, was looking at you with that same gaze.

“God, mom! Just look at her! She fucking lied, not just once but alot of times! Heeseung, Chaeryeong and that fucking necklace! You’re fucking insane.” she glares at you.

Your heart broke. Shattered to pieces as you couldn’t believe, you could’t fucking believe that she called you that. Why? What had happened for her to change so drastically like this? What happened? What is happening to your sister? You were both just fine all along this time, so why? Why was she so upset? It shouldn’t have gone so worse like this.

“Honey? You can’t let this happen!” your mom cried out, “Even if she stole a thousand times, we’re still her family! And can’t you see it!?” she gestures towards your arm.

Shaking her head, as she looks up to your dad, “This isn’t right.”

However your dad still stayed silent, and your psychiatrist spoke, “It has been decided, mam. We can’t do anything about it, but rest assured, we will do our best to treat your daughter-”

“I’m not insane..” you talk to yourself, eyes welling up in tears. “I’m not insane!

You cried out as the nurses came in, pulling you up and away from them. Heeseung couldn’t do anything too but stood silent, because it wasn’t his business in the first place.

“Mom! Dad!” you cried out so loud, it echoed through the hallway. “Unnie!”

—

Ever since then, you've been stuck in this hellhole called ‘hospital’. And apparently your sister had despised seeing you and refused to visit along with your parents which had entirely broken your heart.

Empty.

Empty, was what you felt when you laid on the hospital bed every fucking single day, staring at the white ceiling. You don’t even know if you can call it a feeling, but it felt like your heart has been stomped on countless times that it had this big hole in it. Clenching your fists as you remembered all the things your sister said to you. How could she? Pressing your lips tight as you tried to suppress crying again. You were tired, tired with all the shitty things that happened. It was all doing fine, you were doing just fine all this time so why? Why has it come to this?

Raising your arms up to your eyes to prevent the tears from coming out was useless, as it eventually finds its way out, wetting your arms as it flows down your cheeks. Your mouth trembles as you bite your lip, stopping yourself from crying out loud.

Sad, sad.

As the faint smell of the medicines lingers on the air, and the cold floor of the hospital, the nurses coming in to give you meds; all of it was hell. And along with it, another faint smell of food came.

Heeseung.

Yes, Heeseung. Amidst all the chaos, trouble and emptiness you had went through in this hospital, there was this comfort that had been by your side all this time, and that was him; Heeseung. He comforted you with his words, telling you that all will be fine and well. That your parents will eventually take you back and that they actually didn’t plan to keep you here for much longer and that he had told you that your sister still cares about you, she was just busy with college and stuff. Yes, Heeseung. The person who had been accompanying you through this hellhole all this time. If it wasn't because of him, you'd turn into a living corpse with no one beside you. Since the rain incident, you didn’t expect for one bit that he would do all what he said under the rain..

But he did, he promised and he did exactly what he said.

And so here you are in the hospital, you will be here for a few weeks to undergo your treatment. Just like what Heeseung said, it won’t take long and they just have to do a few tests and your mom assured you that you just needed some time to rest.

You heard a knock from the door, revealing Heeseung with a box of food in his hands.

“What are you now, my nanny?”

“Maybe,” Heeseung chuckled.

If you had told the you three weeks ago that you and Heeseung would have gotten this close, she wouldn’t believe it all. In fact she would laugh at you to death and wouldn’t even believe a single word you said. But here you are now, joking with Heeseung and spending a lot of time with him. He had been visiting you along with your parents, and then coming back secretly at night to spend time with you with the reason that he doesn’t want you to be alone. At first, you were wary around him however you eventually ease up around him in which he jokingly mentions about it in one of your conversations.

"Here a flower for you," Heeseung playfully picks a flower from the garden and puts it beside your ear. "You look so pretty." He whispered to himself but you managed to hear it.

"Are you flirting? Because if you are, I'm going to tell unnie about it."

"Jeez, what's so bad about calling you pretty. Even Chaewon would say the same." He frowned, in which you chuckled about how adorable he looks.

"I doubt that." you look at your reflection on the window, "Unnie doesn't even want to look at me now. Because of my stupid arm, stupid condition and my stupid hallucinations."

"Don't let it get through you,"

"Hm?"

"Your sister might be mad and all but she still cares for you, I can see that. That's why I'm here to take care of you, for her."

"So you must get well soon, I really don't know what's happening between you and your sister. However, if you really love her then you must try."

"I don't know.. Heeseung." you shook your head slowly.

"It's okay, I'm here right?" he strokes your cheek with his fingers, "I'll be right here beside you unlike that old woman, but you just have to prove it to them. Just show it to them, take your meds and all those treatment."

"Your sister would see how hard you're trying to get better, and with that, she'll no longer be upset with you."

"Really?"

He hummed in response, pulling you into his embrace, "and everything will be go back to the way it was soon, and I promise you that."

And you listened to him, you don't know where are you getting those hallucinations but if you are getting it then, there must just be something wrong with you. So you have to get better, for the sake of your sister.

He would continue on visiting you with your family, with or without them, he’ll come back bringing extra foods, some ornaments, and book stories for him to read for you. In which you protested that you are not a kid, but he insisted since it will calm you down and won’t make your days in the hospital boring as hell.

—

The door to your room opens quite loud, making you roll your eyes as to who doesn’t have the basic manners to knock first.

“(Name)!” but your eyes widened when you realized who the voice came from, your smile grew so wide when you finally turned around to see who it was.

“Chaeryeong!” she run to you in small hops and pulled you in a hug.

“How have you been? I miss you so much!!” Chaeryeong pouted with her eyebrows knitted together, as she sat beside you.

“I miss you more..” you exclaimed, hugging her again.

“Yah, what’s wrong with your face? You look like a corpse.” She cupped your cheeks with her hands as her cheerful face was replaced with concern.

“Really?”

“Yeah, look. Bish, why aren’t you looking after yourself?” She pulled out her phone, using the camera app for you to look at yourself, and she was right. You somehow look sick, with your face pale and your lips dry.

“Tch, you never know if there’s a hot nurse here so at least make yourself look presentable, duh.” she sighs exaggeratingly, making you laugh.

“Not everything has to be about boys!” you flick her forehead making her wince in pain.

“Yeah, yeah. Oh- here.” she pulled out a box of chocolate bars from her bag, “Ta-da! I bought this for you!”

“Chocolates!” you exclaimed, taking one chocolate bar and munching it happily.

“What’s wrong?” you asked through your mouthful of chocolates after noticing a change of Chaeryeong’s expression. “Is my mouth dirty?”

“N-no! You just really look like a corpse, duh.” she chuckled, “You should really take care of yourself, (Name).”

“I am, don’t worry.” you smiled happily.

Words can’t express how your heart feels so happy to see your best friend, after all she was your only friend. The friend who was by your side as you grew up even when she never really took actions to those people who bullied you in school, but you can’t really blame her because they might target her and bully her too, and you don’t want that to happen so you once told her to stay away from you but she didn’t. You still remember when she would come secretly to your house, and spend time with you doing stupid but fun things, bringing you everywhere with her and you were really grateful for that. Because of her, you knew how it feels like to have a friend.

A true friend.

—

“Oh, did someone visit?” Heeseung asked, bringing a tray of food.

“Yea, my bestie. She just left, didn’t you see her?”

“No I didn't.” he shrugged, placing the tray of food on your desk.

“Weird. Shouldn’t she have passed the other way-?”

“Prob an invisible person like you,”

“Huh?”

“Yeah, your bestie right? Must be a crackhead like you too.” he jokes.

“Shut up!” laughter filled the room, along with the sunlight creeping in and the fresh air of the garden coming in. The door to your room opens, revealing an old nurse holding a tray of syringes. You immediately caught on that it was for the blood test. Heeseung excused himself saying he'll come back again, and you nodded in response.

“It’s going to hurt a bit.” the old nurse gave you a sweet smile, in which you also smile in return,

“It’s okay.” you observed as the needle was pushed into your skin, drawing blood from it as the syringe quickly filled up.

—

Finally, today was the day. You can finally go back home.

Home.

Packing your bags, your heart were jumping in excitement but with a lingering sadness that you will soon meet your sister again, everything she said and everything she did all was coming back to you again. Shaking your head, you decided not to dwell on it. After all, everything was just a misunderstanding, right? You will come back home, meet your sister and explain everything, and everything will be fine again. It has been a few weeks now, so your sister must be no longer upset right?

Right?

Forcing yourself to smile, reassuring yourself that everything will be okay. Even with fear lingering in your heart, it’s best to stay positive. Yes, stay positive. You gaze out of the window, the clear blue sky making you remember all the happy memories you had with your sister, you look down, touching the necklace she had given to you which you are wearing right now.

Now with your smile being genuine, a new sense of hope filled you up.

The door to your room opens, you turn around happy that your parents were finally here but to your surprise, it wasn’t them. Instead, it was your psychiatrist.

“What.. are you doing here?” you raised your eyebrows, curious with her amused expression.

“Going home?” she chuckles, “I fear it won’t happen, my sweetheart.”

“W-what are you saying?”

“Ah..” she let out a heavy sigh. “It's no doubt you’re a kleptomaniac, but..?” letting out a giggle.

“W-what?”

“I can’t believe you were taking drugs, sweetheart. A kleptomaniac and a druggie? What a perfect combination.” she giggled.

“What the fuck are you saying?” you cried out. A thousand times you had asked the same thing. And all of them were outside your knowledge. Things you didn’t do, they all accused you. And every time they asked that, it buries the hole inside your heart more way bigger than it was before.

“Are you taking drugs or what?” Chaeryeong giggled.

Memories of Chaeryeong instantly flashes through you, it can’t be true. You’ve never taken drugs, not even once. So how?

You saw your parents go in through the door with disappointment and anger written on their face, along with your sister following behind them. Your mom immediately walks closer to you, slapping your arm, weeping in disappointment.

“When!? When did you do it!?” she cried out, with tears in her eyes. You remain silent, still shocked over what was revealed. You look over at your dad and your sister, you had expected a series of questions from your dad and your sister, but they didn’t. They were silent. Disappointment painted on their face.

“(Name)!! When? When did you start doing that? (Name)!!” your mom asked, with tears in her eyes, completely disappointed over the ‘truth’.

“I didn’t!!” you exclaimed. “When can I even get a drug!?”

“Stop lying! Is this how we raise you!?” your mom yelled.

“M-mom!!” you cried out so hard,

“Why the hell do you keep believing what they say!? Why not me!?” you yelled at them at the top of your lungs, tears welling up in your eyes once again.

“I told you I never took drugs!”

“Then why is it in your blood!?”

“I dont know!!” you cried out.

“Enough, honey.” your dad sighed, the disappointment was evident in his eyes as he gazed coldly at you, making your soul run cold. The last time he ever looked at you that way was back in the hospital, when you were the sole reason for what happened to your sister.

“What should we do now?” Your dad asked your therapist.

“I suggest she should stay here for a bit more..”

“W-what? .. No!” your eyes widened, yelling at her.

“It’s necessary since (Name)’s condition is really getting serious.”

“Mom! Dad!” you walked closer to them, “You can’t!”

“Kleptomaniac, self harming, and not to mention the drugs. It’s dangerous.”

“Shut the fuck up!!” you turned around, attacking her.

“You’re lying! I never took drugs, bitch!! You’re bullshitting me!!” you screamed at the top of your lungs as emotions completely took over you.

“Are you all fools!? What’s happening to all of you?” clenching your jaw as you glared at them.

Few nurses came in, pulling you away from your psychiatrist. But you fought, you won’t stop, your parents were horrified to see your maniac state.

“No! I wanna go home! Mom, Dad!” you cried out, “Why wouldn’t you trust me!? They’re all lying!!”

Home.

You just wanna go home. That’s all you wanted. But instead of home and warmth, it was replaced with fear and betrayal. Your hope shattered to pieces. You no longer felt safe. Trust was completely gone in your parent’s eyes as you tried to reach out your arms to them, even your mom who had initially told you that she would be there for you had turned her eyes away, ignoring you as you were being pulled out from the room by the nurses.

“I trust you, (Name).” memory of Heeseung flashes to you as tears fall down to your cheeks, “Heeseung..”

“Where is he?” you looked around, searching for him. And then through the door, your sister appeared with Heeseung. You would’ve been safe when it was your sister but no, you knew she doesn’t trust you and so your gaze fell on him; the him who appeared like an angel.

“What are you doing!? Get off of her!” he yelled at them, pushing all of them away from you. And just like you when you were a child, looking for a warm embrace from your psychiatrist.

“Please hug me!” your little self cried out, raising both your arms to look for that warm embrace. But you were left standing there all alone by yourself, as the one who had promised to be by your side, was just standing there staring at you with a blank expression.

“Apologize right now!” a woman scolded you, “Where’s your parents!?”

“Stop lying! If you keep that shitty attitude, just what kind of girl are you growing up to someday!?”

You raise both your arms, in which he took it pulling you in a hug. A soft, warm, and home-like embrace.

“You’re hurting her! Are you fucking serious right now!?” you cried in his arms.

“I wanna go home!” you cried out, gripping Heeseung’s cardigan.

“Shh, it’s okay.” Heeseung comforts you who were shaking in fear. His warmth was the only thing that’s keeping you sane right now.

Then you watched as your sister, your parents were talking with your psychiatrist. You couldn’t hear anything, as your head grew dizzy and your vision getting blurry. But even with all of that, you could still see their face, disappointment clearly written on their face.

And just like that. . .

You could only watch as everything had completely fallen apart in front of you. Your parents, your sister, your life; everything was falling apart. Today was supposed to be the day you should’ve went home, back to your home and the coziness of your bed, to make things better again with your sister and apologize to her for everything. Go to school again and hang out with Chaeryeong, for things to be the way they used to be. But how funny it was when you can only watch as they walk out from the door, leaving you, again. Why were you even surprised? Nothing seems to change after all, you thought.

“I’ll be back..” Heeseung whispered into your ears, your grip started to loosen on his arms as he stood up and let go of you slowly.

Hanging your head low slightly, biting your lips to stop yourself from crying even more. With your hands clenching the material of your pants, and your body was shaking. You were helpless, unable to do anything as your family had decided to keep you in the hospital for god knows how long.

—

You cried, you cried and cried for how long god knows. All alone in your room with only the bright moonlight accompanying you, you hugged yourself trying to search for warmth. The same warmth that came from Heeseung. You looked up, getting up from your bed and went glancing outside your window to look for any signs of Heeseung but he wasn’t anywhere to be seen. Heart sinking in disappointment, you went back to bed. He should've come around this hour like he always did, so where was he? Doesn’t he trust you anymore? Did they change his mind? Has his view on you changed the moment he walked out the door?

Then you heard hasty footsteps approaching, and you immediately knew who it was. Your eyes lit up observing as the door pulled open with Heeseung going in. And you immediately ran towards him, hugging him. His arms wrapped around your waist as he leans into your neck, telling you it's okay. His soft voice instantly soothes you like a mother’s voice to her child, feeling his warmth on yours, you sighed in contentment.

“I’m sorry, I was late wasn't i?” you cried in his arms, not saying anything. “I’m sorry, i’m sorry.”

“I thought you don’t trust me anymore. That’s why you’re not coming.”

“Hush, don’t say that.”

“But it’s true, no one trusted me. Not even Mom, dad. Not even Unnie.”

“They’re probably just shocked to hear about it.”

“But still they didn’t trust me..” you cried again.

“It’s okay, i’m here. I trust you. I won’t leave you.” he hugged you even tighter, now sitting on the floor with you on his chest like a child would to its mother.

—

“If it’s okay to ask, how did you get that?” you notice that he was actually mentioning about the scars on your upper left arm.

You kept silent, a bit hesitant to tell the truth. Noticing your hesitation, he stroked your hand giving you a small smile, “You know you don’t have to tell me right? It’s okay.”

“I did it.”

“It was because of my sickness.”

“Growing up, I always felt the urge to steal. To take something that I don't own, I never wanted to do it but I couldn't. I wanted to stop. But I couldn't. It wasn’t easy, no. It was never easy. It was hard, very hard. They took me to the psychiatrist, to cure my condition. At first, my parents were hopeful. All of them. But then, i don’t know when, when i caught them with that gaze, my heart dropped. I thought at that time, have they given up on me? Are they embarrassed about me? That it embarrassed my sister about it, not only her. My entire family. But really was it my fault? That I was born with this condition?” you cried out, “Because of something i can’t control, they don’t like me at all.”

“And because of my condition, no one really wanted to be my friend. They call me a thief. But it was fine, it was fine. It was okay, I could live through it. It doesn’t matter at all, maybe.”

“But then, something happened that really made me feel angry. For once, I wanted to show them that I'm angry. That if they want to treat me like that, then so be it. I wanted to ruin something and so I did.”

“However, I never expected that my sister would hurt herself. I swear. They blamed me, they told me that I was the reason, and I feel really guilty. I hated myself for stealing, I hated the fact that I had this condition in the very first place, no. I hated that I was even born in the first place!”

“You never change,' my dad told me that. It was because of you. It’s you, it was you. Mom said that. It hurts. Okay. Let’s say it was my fault, but have they ever think how hurt I felt when they blamed me for something I can't control!? That guy. Unnie. Everyone. They made me hate myself. It’s not like I wanted it! I also wanted to stop!”

“I tried everything! I go to my therapist! I searched for many ways to stop stealing. But it never works! And I feel really helpless at that point.”

“When I got the urge to steal again. I hated that. And so I did it. I took a pen and stabbed my arm. Whenever I felt the urge to steal, I did it. Whenever I find myself staring at someone’s stuff, I stab my arm with it. When I tried to touch someone’s stuff, I did it again. I do it again, over and over again. Reminding myself that this was the pain my sister felt, this was the pain my family had felt all because of my condition, all because of me.”

“But it hurts!” you cried out, Heeseung immediately pulled you into his chest, warming you with his embrace as you struggled to talk, trying to take out the words. The pain you felt in your chest.

“I-i r-remind myself that this pain was what they felt over and over again because of me. And if I want this to st-stop, then I should stop myself from st-stealing.”

“And it works. I finally did it. I was happy. But the wound never goes away. But it was fine, I told myself. Everyone was happy that I was cured. They were happy, I was happy that they finally saw me as someone, someone who doesn’t steal. But you know, some of them still look at me the same way..”

“But it's okay!” you sniffed, shaking your head. “It doesn’t matter! I have my sister! I have my family. They believed me now! So it’s okay!”

Gritting your teeth as your lips tremble, “But what now!? All of those bullshit things. That fucking necklace, drugs and this fucking wounds! This!”

“I was afraid that if they saw it. Something worse could happen. Even if I told them, it’s not like they would understand! And guess what? They really didn’t.”

“It’s okay, shh. It’s okay.” Heeseung cried alongside with you, the moonlight shine on you two as you cried in each other’s arms.

“I’m tired..” you sighed in Heeseung’s arms, “It’s so tiring.. Everything.”

And with that, you finally dozed off on Heeseung’s arms with tears in your eyes falling down to your cheeks. Heeseung raised his other hand to your hair, softly stroking it with his fingers till it reached your cheek, wiping off the tears.

“It’s okay..” he softly says, resting his chin on your head, “It will end soon..”

—

Starting from that day on, your parents rarely visited. Heeseung told you that they were completely disappointed in you that they couldn’t just bring themselves to look at you, he can’t help but tell you that because he doesn’t want you to keep thinking why they weren’t visiting. As much as it hurts, you were grateful that he told you the truth.

It’s better that you weren’t fooling yourself.

Reading the book Heeseung gave you, was the very last thing that made you sane in this hospital. You don’t know how long you would stay here, however you wish it would pass soon. Ever since that day, you and Heeseung grew more and more closer. You had trusted him and grew to love him for he was always there by your side.

Yes. You’ve started to love him and you don’t know how and when. But somewhere along in those days, you started to look at him in a different way.

You really didn’t expect that it could turn out like this but for once, you didn’t regret it. However, even though you loved him, you still won’t betray your sister because of him. You were just grateful that he was there by your side, and that he did as he promised. He didn’t break it, and you appreciated that. Who could think that the boy you were planning to mess around with through a dating app turns out to be the person who will defend you from everything? Upon realizing that, you felt a sense of guilt towards him that you even accused him of something that he didn’t do, and that you insulted him and possibly could’ve hurted him over it. Because of your stupid hallucinations, you almost ruined their relationship. Sighing, how could you even be able to take drugs? When and how?

Was it possible that someone could’ve drugged you? But who?

“Miss?” you got snapped out of your thoughts when a male nurse waved his hand through your face, “You have to take your meds.”

“Oh, right.” you smiled, and swallowed your meds along with the water. “Thank you.”

Then you notice him blushing, in which you tilted your head which he immediately caught on raising his hand to his cheeks covering it,

“Ah, it’s nothing, sorry!”

“You’re just so pretty, I'm sorry if that sounds weird.” curving his lips up in an awkward manner, as you laugh it off finding it cute.

“It’s fine!” you smiled. You then heard a knock on the door, with Heeseung leaning against it. The nurse then immediately took his leave, bowing his head slightly to you with a smile on his face. You observed as Heeseung walked past the nurse, and somehow you saw something on his expression that you can’t seem to guess but it was immediately replaced with a cheerful smile when his eyes fell on you, making your heart flutter.

“I see, you got an admirer?” Heeseung asked, with a grin on his face.

“It’s none of your business.” You rolled your eyes, in which he shrugged in response.

“Where have you been by the way?” you asked.

“From your house, I actually have a date with Chaewon today so I fear I can't really accompany you today, (Name).”

“Oh..” your shoulder fell, a bit disappointed over what you heard.

“I’m sorry, I’ll make it up to you next time okay?”

“N-no! Why would you? I told you right, treat my sister well. That’s all I’m asking.”

“Are you sure? Won’t you feel alone?”

“God, it’s not like I'm a child. Just go!”

“Alright, but I promise I’ll really make it up to you.” He raised his hand, stroking your cheek. For some reason, you loved it. You loved his touch, leaning in to feel his warm hands more.

—

Gazing out of the window, you let out a heavy sigh as it feels too lonely. You were really lonely, Heeseung was in fact, the only one who had spent his time talking with you and comforting you.

The lights from all the buildings weren’t enough to make you feel better, after all Heeseung was always here to accompany you and read bed stories to you. Even though you hated it, the fact that he read bed stories to you makes you feel like you’re a child. It actually helps you feel better, and also when he sings a lullaby for you. You grew to love his voice, it was soothing and heavenly-like. Suddenly, you hear a knock from your door, immediately turning your head happy that Heeseung is finally here.

But your shoulder fell in disappointment, as it was only the female nurse who often brings you meds during her nightly shift. She bowed her head slightly upon meeting your gaze, in which you nodded in response. She quietly walks over to you, bringing a tray of a glass of water and a bottle of meds.

“Is.. um, Heeseung here?” you asked without much thought, mentally cursing yourself for even asking that. How could she have possibly known? You held the need to roll your eyes.

“Heeseung?” the nurse tilted her head in confusion, “Ah! That guy? Heeseung?”

You nodded your head, still delighted that she caught up quick.

“Unfortunately I can’t see him anywhere, miss. It’s a bit late now.”

You sighed upon hearing that, a bit disappointed over the fact that Heeseung’s really not going to come today. But why were you even surprised? Heck, why were you even disappointed? For what? You scoffed with your own thoughts.

The nurse then places the tray on your small desk, handing you a glass of water and a pill in which you obliged. Sighing as you stare at the meds on your palm, you’re getting crazy aren’t you?

“Is he your boyfriend?”

The words snapped you out from your deep thought as you turned to look at the nurse, “Huh? Who?”

“The guy Heeseung.”

Upon hearing the words, you immediately let out a soft laugh. “N-no! He’s just a friend.”

“Ah.. I see.”

“Why are you asking?” you smiled, “Do you like him?”

“No! Of course not!” you let out a chuckle as the nurse raised both her hands as if to defend herself. “Not with that attitude..”

“Hm?”

“Um, I'm not so sure if I could say it.”

“Nah, it’s okay. You can tell me anything.”

—

After the conversation with the nurse, you went to the hospital’s garden. Your mind was still lingering on what she said, about Heeseung and the way he acts around the people in the hospital. She told you that Heeseung was a completely different person when she accidentally bumped into him the other day, and just like what every person should do, she apologized. However, the response she received surprised her.

“Fucking annoying.” was what she heard from Heeseung who was glaring at her, ignoring her apologies and went on his way.

You were actually hesitant to believe what she said, even when she told you that the rest of the nurses also said the same. His cold, and somewhat rude attitude that really surprises them even with how good-looking he looks, his attitude just wasn’t it. However, you still find it hard to believe. You couldn’t. Not when he did all those things for you. Being by your side, accompanying you when you need someone, and defending you when no one does. You had expected that from your sister, but instead Heeseung took the responsibility. You pass it off as a misunderstanding, sure the nurse wasn’t lying, but Heeseung must’ve been in a bad mood at that time. It just happens at the wrong time, you thought.

Gazing at the dark sky, you sighed as there were no stars to be found on them. You’ve always loved to gaze at the stars whenever you feel bored, alone or just for the sake of watching them. However, the stars weren’t there to accompany you. Today was really lonely, isn't it?

Letting out another heavy sigh, you stood up getting ready to go back inside the hospital. But your breath hitched when you saw someone standing from your peripheral view, instantly turning your head to see the person. But the stranger immediately left as if to avoid being caught by you, making your eyes widen in fractions. Who was that?

Without much thought, you followed the stranger, silently catching up to them. You peek at the edge of the wall, and the stranger’s back facing you. By the figure, you caught on that it was a guy wearing a black hoodie and long black pants. Then it hit you.

The one who was stalking you on that day. On the day of the party, after you fought with your sister. When you got that text. When you sense it. That was him. A whole new courage fills you up as you wanted to know who it was, and since this was the hospital. It won’t be much trouble to ask for help. Within a split second, you immediately sprint towards the stranger, launching yourself on him and kicking him on his back.

Hovering upon him, “Yah! Who the fuck are you!? What are you doing here!?” you tried to pull off his hoodie to see his face but he pulled it back trying to keep it to it’s place.

“Show your face! Goddamnit!” You kicked him on his back again, resulting in him groaning. Then he instantly pushes himself up with his hands making you fall backwards, and the stranger immediately runs away from you sprinting inside the hospital. “For fuck’s sake!!

And of course, you chase after him going inside the hospital going past the long hallway that was almost completely empty since it was already past midnight. The hallway was dark and only the lights from the slightly opened doors of each room shine through the hospital’s floor. You halt your steps, catching a breath, you lose him. Mentally cursing yourself, you can’t let him go.

But then you saw a dark silhouette passing a bit farther from you, “You!”

You chase after him inside one of the dark rooms he went into, silently walking inside. To your dismay, you tried to turn on the lights but it wasn’t working. Only the moonlight was bright enough to lighten the room just enough for you to see the medical stuff on the huge desk. Just then you hear footsteps slowly walking behind you, your heartbeat suddenly quickens after you realize just what kind of situation you put yourself into.

Hands shaking as you swallow into your throat, you immediately take the nearest object behind you; a metal tray, to smash to the stranger's head, twisting your torso to land the impact on him but to your dismay, he quickly dodges it and kicks the tray off your hands. Strong pair of arms immediately pulled your arms, your back coming into contact with his chest, he caged you in between his arms.

Adrenaline quickly fills your body as you trashed around, trying to escape from the stranger’s grasp but he was too strong, now with his right hand on your mouth preventing you from screaming. Only muffled screams can be heard amidst the silence inside the room you were both in.

‘Heeseung!’ you pressed your eyes shut, you felt nothing but fear, hoping for Heeseung to appear and save you.

“C-calm down! I’m not trying to hurt you!” the stranger spoke behind you, your eyes shoots open as soon as you heard it, his voice. It was familiar.

“Stop moving!”

“Trust me! Please! Just stop moving and I'll release you!” you immediately complied, in which he actually releases you from his grip. But you scoffed, taking another glass bottle and hitting him on his head, completely shattering it to pieces.

“Fuck! Why did you hit me!” he groaned in pain.

“Freak! Stalker!”

“Huh!?”

“Why were you stalking me!?” you yelled at the top of your lungs, in which his eyes grew wide, clearly shocked over what you said.

“I can explain!”

“Explain what? What is there left to explain!?” you grit your teeth, feeling nothing but anger. “You’re insane!”

“No! Push that away! It’s dangerous!”

“Now you know, huh!? Scared? I was scared too when you fucking chase me the other day!”

“I had a reason for that! Please, hear me out!”’

Silence.

“Please. . .” he kneeled down on the floor, clasping his hands together.

It was silence for quite a moment, trying to think of what to do with him.

“Fine. Let’s see what you got.” You lowered the shattered bottle, still gripping it tightly in case he ever plans something funny.

“Lee Heeseung.”

“What?”

“Don’t trust that guy, he’s fooling you and your sister.”

“What the fuck are you saying!?” you spat out, eyes widened.

—

“Yo, earth to (Name)?” you were immediately pulled out from your daydream when Heeseung suddenly appeared in front of you, sitting on the bed just a few inches away. With an amused expression on his goddamn handsome face, he leans in. “What were you thinking about, huh?”

“N-nothing, since when were you here?”

A low chuckle left his mouth, giving you sudden chills, “Gosh, (Name). I have been here since a few minutes ago, you just didn’t hear me.”

You swallowed your throat, as you let out “Ah.. sorry, I didn’t realize.”

“It’s fine, at least I got the chance to see your pretty face.” a sweet smile adorns his face as he said that, making you blush slightly.

“Why are you here then?” you asked.

“Why? Can’t I?” he raised his eyebrow, in which your breath hitched.

“N-nothing, you weren’t this early before. Don’t you have any class today?”

“I do, but of course I have to check up on you. I feel guilty, y’know?” his eyes were filled with guilt as he looked at you.

“I told you, you don’t have to.” you looked down to your hands, avoiding his gaze. You don't know what to believe.

"That guy you've been spending time with all this time-"

"Here, I bought this for you!" Heeseung sat beside you, bringing a box of chocolates.

"—Is a liar."

"(Name)?" you look up to Heeseung, immediately extending your hand in which he happily places the box on your palm. Your heart fluttering as you see his cheerful smile.

"And you wanna know why you got that blood results where it says you've taken drugs?"

"Because that guy, Lee Heeseung.."

You pull the cover of the box on your hand, opening the cover which had delicious chocolate bars sprinkled with toppings on it.

"Was drugging you all this time, and you have no single idea about it.”

“Bullshit.” you spat out, “Why should I believe you?”

“I knew you would say that..'' the boy let out a small chuckle, as if he had really expected for you to say that, “They always give you meds right? What if I tell you those meds weren't to cure you?”

“W-what?”

“What if I tell you those meds you were taking all this time.. Was drugs?”

—

You immediately turned your head at the door after hearing the knock, and to your surprise, the new male nurse who had given you meds wasn’t here, instead it’s the old female nurse. The same nurse who had drawn blood from you before, but now she was bringing the meds for you.

“Um.. Where’s the nurse from yesterday?”

“Oh, he had taken a leave for the day. And so I was here to fill in the empty spot.” She smiled warmly at you, handing you the glass water along with the pill.

“Don’t take those, I’m telling you. Those are drugs.”

You stared at the pills for what seemed like a few minutes, when the nurse immediately called for you, snapping you out of your thoughts. Nodding in response, you took the pill while drinking it along with the water. But unbeknownst to the nurse, you only swallowed the pill to some extent.

After she left, you put your finger inside your mouth, spitting it out in the process. You don’t know why you were even believing that stalker, however because of the drugs you knew you never took, you couldn’t help but believe him.

—

“Why are you helping me?” you asked without much thought, when EJ finally appeared again sitting against the door with his hands on his pockets, and his head slightly hanging low as if to avoid your gaze.

You observed how hesitant he was to answer your question at first, knitting your eyebrows as you waited for him to reply. He sighed, finally opening his mouth.

Your jaw dropped when he told you that the first time he had seen you was at Heeseung’s party. That he was there among the students, seeing the entire commotion you had with the Lee siblings. That ever since that incident you had with the Lee siblings, he had watched over you. He saw everything, the fight you had with your sister after the party, the hallucinations you got, and even the drug incident, he saw everything. He told you that he actually doesn’t believe the entire ordeal, and when they accused you of stealing Heemin’s necklace. It just didn’t sit well with him, but he could only watch as it wasn’t his business in the first place.

“If it wasn’t your business in the first place, then why are you here?”

“Because you’re Chaewon’s sister..”

“Huh?”

“I.. like her.” your jaw dropped again when you heard his confession, “And I can’t let her get fooled by that piece of shit.”

“How?”

“Heeseung, that guy.. Has a petty game with his friends, and their target was Chaewon. The dare was to ..” He paused for a moment, as if he couldn't let the word out, “To do something to Chaewon and get a pic of it..”

Your heart sank the moment those words left his mouth, rage started to fill in your veins.

“How the fuck did you know about it?”

“..I accidentally heard it from Heeseung’s friends when I passed them.”

“And how the hell can I trust you about it?” you raised your head, looking up to him. “That you weren’t fooling me or some shit?”

"How do I know that you're not accusing H-heeseung?" You stuttered,

“I wouldn't lie about this. I swear. Because I care for her!” EJ yelled, “I care for Chaewon."

You went silent, not knowing what to say. Your lack of response made him feel uneasy,

"The moment I knew about what they were doing, I couldn’t just let that happen to her. And so I went to the party, to watch over her so nothing can happen. But instead..-” He paused after seeing your expression.

“I’m telling you, I knew you didn’t steal it.”

‘How the fuck?” you scoffed in disbelief. This guy who’s a complete stranger, believes you? What a joke, not even your beloved sister believes a word you said. So how could he?

“Because I went through the same thing too when I was a kid,” a low scoff left his mouth. “It wasn’t a good memory. And I’m telling you, I know how you feel. But don’t let it get through you, you know? I saw how you went through all of it for the past few weeks ago-”

Your eyes widened upon hearing what he said, “W-what do you mean?”

“To be honest, I don’t know what you were doing, I assumed you were looking for someone? but I was just checking on you after the incident.. It just didn’t feel right to leave you all alone after what happened.. And I was right, you randomly passed out on the street-”

“Wait, you were there!?”

“Yeah, and I had to carry you all the way to the shop which was.. A bit tiring-”

“Shut up.” You spat out, in which he chuckled.

“Although I have to admit, you really got that determination, don't you? You still got up even after you got sick on the street.”

“Wait, was that you?” your mouth hangs slightly low, surprised that it was him. Then you quickly look at his wrist, that watch. The same watch, it was him.

“Was it that surprising?” He chuckles, “You shouldn’t really push yourself that hard though, Chaewon won’t be really happy with it.”

“I don’t know..” you said in a low voice, gazing out of the window.

“If you really wanted to help then why don’t you tell her yourself?”

Then he scoffed, "You think I didn't? Of course I did. But she won't believe me! She completely believes that guy."

"She told me I was lying and that I was trying to ruin their relationship.".... “That’s why I’m also here, because you’re Chaewon’s sister and I have to tell you about it-”

“So you want me to tell her instead?” you gestured towards yourself.

“Yeah-”

You scoffed, “Then you’re so wrong, even my sister doesn’t believe me so it’s all pointless.”

“But are you really going to let her get fooled by them?”

“Of course not!” You glared at him, he smiled in response, taking a deep breath.

““And you know what?” he looked at you again, “It didn’t really sit well with me that Heeseung was defending you over everything.

"Just be very careful around him."

“How can I be sure that this is a drug and that he was drugging me?” you showed him the pill on your palm.

“Since I was curious about where you might’ve been, like I didn’t really see you anywhere,I found out that you got admitted here. But then I saw him, with that old lady. That nurse-” it suddenly hits you when flashbacks of the nurse who drew blood from you for the blood tests. Eyes wide as you look at him, “He gave something to the nurse, at first it didn’t really bother me.. But then I keep seeing them once in a while, doing the same thing over and over again.”

You gulped, unable to believe what you had just heard. “But why would he do that?”

“I don’t know.. But whatever he’s planning, it’s clearly not good.”

"I really don't know if I can trust you about that.." a part of you refuses to believe that Heeseung was doing that to you. Not when he had already been by your side, protecting you from everything. It can't be.

"Wait, do you like him?" Your eyes widened when you heard that from him.

"No, I don't." EJ hummed in response, believing you so fast. Cause afterall,

"Okay, I know this is hard to believe. But really, I swear if I'm lying. You'll know. So please believe me."

"If your hallucinations and everything still doesn’t stop even when you no longer take those meds, then I'll leave. So please.." EJ begging you with his eyes, his jaw clenching as he looks for any response from you.

Believe me. That sentence echoes through your mind. The same sentence that you often say but were ignored. Looking at EJ's eyes, what could go possibly wrong in believing him? You'll eventually find out whether he's lying about the drugs or not. “So what are we going to do now?” you asked.

“I’ll help you.”

“How?”

“I’ll help you get out of this place, as soon as I can. It will take awhile, but after we get you out. We have to take your sister as well, and then we’ll tell her everything.”

“That’s gonna take a hell lot of work.” You scoffed, you just knew what would happen again once you meet your sister. She is far too lovesick with Heeseung for her to even believe you, but..

“But we can’t give up so easily, right?” he raised his eyebrow, waiting for your response. You stare at him for a while and then nodded in response, in which he smiled.

"What's your name by the way?" you asked suddenly.

"Me?" He pointed at himself, you nodded again. "god, how did I even forget that. EJ, just call me EJ."

"EJ.." you said it in a low voice, taking his name in.

—

Since then, EJ has been visiting you secretly. And you tried your best to avoid eating the ‘meds’ the nurse has been giving you. It goes on for about a few days like this, and what he said was true. Your headaches, and everything was gone. Looking at yourself in the mirror, you notice how you look so much better than before. Was it really true? Was Heeseung really drugging you?

You wanted to believe EJ,

But the hardest part was Heeseung himself, even when he visits sometimes because he’s getting busy with his studies, the fact that you still have to pretend like you know nothing while talking with him hurts you. You wanted to ask, why? Why was he doing it? And for some reason, you wanted to ask him yourself if it was true or not, you wanted to hear it from his own mouth, and that he’ll say no. Your heart and your mind were in chaos as you felt both anger and sadness.

Anger because of that fucking deal he had with his friends, clenching your fists as to how he were capable to plan such thing to your sister.

But then came your sadness, your heart broken that all his cheerful smiles and all the things he did for you was all fake. Because you were still in denial, unable to accept it.

You don’t know what to do. The complete difference of how ‘innocent’ he looks sometimes makes you doubt EJ, just how can Heeseung do that to you? Why would he? For what?

You stare at Heeseung’s back as he was fixing the flower pots on the window, the sunlight shines over his face making him look so ethereal and angelic, you couldn’t believe that he was even capable of doing such a thing. You really don’t want to.

“Heeseung?” you finally let out, after a moment of hesitance.

“Hm?” he hummed in response, turning his head to look at you. Your heart immediately stops, after seeing those innocent eyes.

‘Is it true?’ you pressed your lips tight, asking the question in your head as he stares at you, waiting for you to say something. ‘That you were drugging me?’

“Is there something wrong?” his soft voice snaps you out from your dilemma, tilting his head as his eyebrows were knit together along with his concern expression.

“N-nothing!” you blurted out, smiling wide.

“Are you sure?”

You nodded with a cheerful smile on your face, assuring him that it was nothing. He lets out a small ‘okay’, smiling sweetly to you in return, turning his attention back to the flower pots. Your face falls, the smile leaving your face, when you realize just what you had initially thought to ask him.

—

You gaze out of the window once again, sighing heavily because you were still in a dilemma. Today was finally the day EJ would come and take you out of the hospital, and you were supposed to be happy about it, happy that you were no longer stuck in this hell, however you feel guilty that you’re going to leave without Heeseung knowing about it. Biting your lips, you mentally cursed yourself as to why you were still thinking about him? Why won’t you still believe the fact that he was doing all those stuffs behind you and your sister?

Why? Why? Why?

“(Name)?” you were immediately snapped out of your deep thoughts when EJ appears beside you. “We have to go now.”

Extending his hand for you to grab it, you hesitated for a moment in which he notices but he patiently waits. Clearing your throat, you nodded, taking his hands as he guided you out of the door and all the way till you finally exited the hospital. The cold air greeting you along with the night sky, you somehow felt uneasy, afraid that something soon might happen.

“I know you’re worried, but it’s okay. You can trust me.” EJ grips your hand just slightly, enough to warm your hand. “After this, we’ll meet your sister, ok?”

You nodded, reassuring yourself with his words. You’re doing this for your sister, yes. You were doing it for her, you can’t let her get fooled and fall into that hellhole. You can’t, so you have to stay strong and get rid of this feelings, and-

“(Name)?”

As if there was a strong force that immediately pulls you back to its world, you halt your steps, heart beating so fast the moment you hear him. You knew it was him.

“Where are you g- .. You?" unable to turn yourself to look at him in fear that you might end up getting soft-hearted again was eating you, however you still manage to caught on his voice surprised to see EJ. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“(Name), let’s just go.” he ignores Heeseung, pulling you with him as he continues to walk to the street again.

“(Name)! Where are you going!?” he immediately rushes in, grabbing your hand preventing you EJ from pulling you with him any further. “What the fuck you doing here!?”

“Well I don't know, why don’t you ask her?”

“(Name), where are you going with this guy?”

“It’s none of your business, Heeseung. Now please let go.” you lowered your eyes, not wanting to see his face.

“No! Why would i? Let you go? With this guy?” Heeseung exclaimed, “You haven’t known him that long, he could be dangerous for god knows how!”

“And how about you!?”

“W-what?” he knitted his eyebrows together, confused.

“Stop pretending, I knew you were fooling us. Me and my sister!” you scoffed, “I can’t believe it!”

“What are you saying? I don’t understand..”

“Oh god! Stop pretending! We already know!”

“I-i don't understand what you’re saying!”

“For fuck’s sake, stop lying.” EJ spat out.

“Why were you doing that to me?” you cried out, your heart breaking as he looked at you with that innocent eyes.

“What did I do?” … “What else could I be doing!?” Heeseung exclaimed.

“Y-you were drugging me..” you almost want to vomit when you let out those words, and Heeseung’s eyes widened in fraction.

“W-what are you talking about? Drug you? Why would I do that!?” he exclaimed in surprise.

“Ask yourself!” you cried out, “You’re the only one who knows why you were doing such a thing to me!”

“God! (Name)! Why would I even think to do that to you in the first place!? How!? Drug you!?” Heeseung exclaimed, “Who told you that?”

Then he snaps his head into EJ’s direction, “This guy?”

“Why would that even matter? Why? Was it true?’

“I swear to god! No! Why would I drug you? For what?” Heeseung grabs both your arms, pulling you closer to him, “Tell me! You couldn’t possibly believe him, could you?” he looked into your eyes, and your heart felt a hit of pang when you saw how his innocent eyes were breaking in front of you. He seems so innocent. You’ve reminded yourself that he was lying, he’s definitely lying., but why did you feel something that was pulling you towards him? This stupid feelings. And along with all of that, you feel guilty for him.

You couldn’t say anything, as he looked at you with that expression, “(Name), say something.”

“Man, stop with all that bullshit.” EJ finally speaks up, trying to release you from Heeseung’s grasp.

Heeseung aggressively hits his hands away, “What are you trying to do? Why were you spreading lies about me?”

“Lies? So was it a lie that I heard from you back there?” EJ clenched his jaw, approaching him.

“What’s your plan, huh?” Heeseung spat out. Hitting EJ on his chest repeatedly,

“P-plan? I might as well ask you that, what’s your plan? Certainly not something good right?” EJ asked.

“Heeseung, stop!!”

“How could you believe him instead of me!?” “He could be lying for all god knows!” he turned to you again, surprise etched all over his face as he grabbed your arms once again.

“Don’t touch me, I really can’t believe it. You’re a liar. You were fooling us!” you slapped his arms away.

“(name)!” Heeseung exclaimed, tears welling up in his eyes which surprised you. “You can’t do this to me, you just met him and you already believe all that he said!?”

“Just why were you spreading lies about me?” he glares at EJ. “What could I possibly have done to you!”

“Tell me!” Heeseung cried out.

You were shocked to see him cry, it was something new. You’ve never seen him cried, and it breaks your heart to see him that way.

“Don’t you trust me!?” tears keeps flooding down to his cheeks as he looked up to you, you shook your head.

“No..” your heart broke, approaching Heeseung in small steps.

“How could you do this to me? (Name)?” he cried with his hands on his face.

“Don’t! He’s using your words against you.” EJ grabs you from behind, shaking his head. “You should know better! He’s lying!”

“B-but..” you hesitated, looking back and forth to Heeseung and then to EJ.

“Tell me! EJ! I really can’t believe you, just because Chaewon rejects you.. I can’t believe you are trying to get it back on her sister and me!”

“Shut the fuck up, don’t try to make this about that when it’s clearly not.”

“Wait, w-what?” your ears perked up to what Heeseung said.

“You didn’t know? He confessed to Chaewon in front of the public, but she rejected him so bad that we all pity him..” said Heeseung while tears flow down to his cheeks. “But what I wouldn't expect was you were capable of doing something like this! How can you do this to us!?”

“Shut the fuck up!” EJ yelled.

“---So you’re going all over the way here and trying to fool her sister? To fool (Name)? To get back on Chaewon for humiliating you?” Heeseung tilted his head.

“Shut up! Lee Heeseung!”

“W-what? What are you saying?” you look up to EJ, pulling your hand out of his grasp.

“This is not about that!” EJ yelled. “(Name)!”

“Is it true!?” you asked.

He fell silent, and you took a few steps backwards, shocked over the revelation.

“But it was fine for me! Please believe me! That doesn’t change the fact that I still like her or that I want to pay back for what she did, please trust me!”

“(Name)! Don’t believe him! He’s lying. You know better.” Heeseung cried out to you.

You were in a serious dilemma. Who the fuck is lying? Which one? Should you choose the guy who has defended you and trust you all this time? Or the guy who had taken care of you from behind the curtains? Who was lying!? You stood still, as your head started to grow dizzy again, unable to decide.

“God! Don’t believe him, he’s trying to fool you into staying with him!” EJ exclaimed in desperation as he noticed your hesitance,

EJ pulls your arm, "let's go! (name)!"

But Heeseung stops you both, grabbing your hand which EJ was holding too. "You're not going anywhere."

"Let go of her, who are you trying to fool here, huh?" Heeseung aggressively pulls you out from EJ’s grasp, making you wince in pain.

“I should be the one who’s asking you that!” EJ spats out, “You’re obviously turning it all about me, you bastard! (Name), don’t believe what he said! This is not about that!”

Heeseung shakes his head, "I can't believe you're doing this to me, EJ."

“Shut the fuck up! Stop acting so fucking innocent even when you're not!" ” EJ yelled at the top of his lungs, “That’s not what I'm here for! I’m protecting her! From you!”

“Protect her? Who even are you? Her brother? And what would Chaewon think that you’re here? Talking with her sister, and then taking her somewhere.” Heeseung asked, “Fuck, even she would ask you what the fuck you were doing around with (Name).”

“You.” EJ exclaimed, pointing his fingers at Heeseung. “You’re obviously turning things around-”

“(Name)! He’s obviously manipulating you! The more you talk with him, the more-” he approaches you, trying to take your arms. You were in a dilemma. You don’t know who to trust.

“I told you to stay the fuck away!” Heeseung roughly pushed him by his chest, making him take a few steps backwards.

“You stay the fuck away, son of a bitch!” EJ spat out, “I’m not letting (Name) stay with a guy like you!” growing desperate, EJ approaches you again trying to take your arm.

“(Name)! Get back on your senses! We have to go!”

“When i say stay the fuck away, stay the fuck away from her!” Heeseung delivers a strong punch towards EJ’s face, resulting in you screaming.

“Heeseung, stop!”

EJ hissed in pain, wiping off the blood of his mouth

“You’re not going to take her anywhere.” Heeseung spat out, standing in front of EJ. “I can’t believe you, after all we had done for you, you’re doing this!? To Chaewon?”

“I’m doing all of this to protect her from you! You and your stupid deal with your shitty friends!” EJ pointed at him as he stood up again.

“Why are you making up lies about me? What deal? What are you saying? What are you getting from this!?” Heeseung cried out.

“Ah, fuck. Im fucking done with you spewing nonsense shit. Talking won’t get this done-” EJ was so pissed, that he saw nothing but red. He punches Heeseung resulting in him falling on the ground.

“Guys, stop!” you screamed as you approached them both, trying to pull EJ away from Heeseung. “EJ! Stop! Please!”

“Chaewon would be so disappointed in you, that you have to go this far just to get back on her." Heeseung hissed, "EJ! This is not you, you can't betray us like this." Heeseung cries.

"Stop mentioning her name!" He hit him again.

"We thought you change, I really did.. but why?"

"You're such a manipulative piece of shit-" EJ pulls away from your grasp, making you fall backwards on the ground.

He pulls Heeseung by his collar, forcing him to stand up, “I get if you’re mad at Chaewon but you should’t bring her sister over this!”

“Talk to yourself, you piece of shit! I saw everything! I heard everything!” EJ gripped his collar so tight, it starts to choke Heeseung.

"Stop! EJ! Please!" You exclaimed ,your heart aching to see Heeseung get beaten up so badly, why aren't you defending yourself!?

“Okay if you won’t trust me! But (Name), don’t trust this guy either!” EJ exclaimed and turned to look at you, “He’s obviously drugging you! Remember?”

“I can’t believe you..” Heeseung shakes his head upon hearing that , making EJ punch him in the face resulting in him falling on the ground.

You tried to stop them but it seems anything you do or say were left to deaf ears. Things had heated up so much between them and you really don't know what to do already. Your head grows dizzy again, as you knelt to your chest bringing your hands to your head clasping them. Not wanting to hear anything more, you groaned in pain.

“Just please stop..” your vision was growing blurry only being able to see the hazy figure of EJ punching Heeseung on the ground. “It hurts. .”

“(Name)?” They start to notice your horrible state with you on sitting on the floor while putting your hands on your head, as EJ finally pushes Heeseung on the ground, making his way to you.

“(Name)? What’s wrong!?” EJ exclaimed in concern as he slowly approached you, leaving Heeseung on the ground, beaten up quite badly. However he immediately halted his steps when he heard a low chuckle from behind him.

"Ah fuck, piece of shit.. you're really irritating me." Heeseung chuckles through his cries, scratching his neck as his expression was replaced with amusement while his mouth was bleeding due to EJ’s constant punches. Raising his head slowly, looking up with tears in his eyes, "Just why are you sticking your nose in other people’s business, you bastard?"

EJ’s eyes widened, turning his torso to look at Heeseung who was now, staring at him back but with a completely different demeanor. “What?”

“Aren’t you such a fucking fool trying to act like the shining knight in his armor?” Heeseung tilted his head, with his expression clearly amused.

“You know, it’s really amusing that you even approached Chaewon in the first place, but–” his eyes darkened, “Why the fuck did you even think to get close to (Name)?”

“You’re really digging your own grave, aren’t you?”

“So you’re already showing your true nature, you son of a bitch.” EJ spat out approaching him, and pulling him up on his feet by tugging his collar again. “Do you still think (Name) will believe you after I tell her about this?”

A chilling laugh escaped from Heeseung’s mouth, “Yah, you bastard. Wanna bet?”

“H-huh?”

“Do you actually think you'll get out of this alive?”

“What? What are you saying?”

“Just where do you think we are now, you fool?” Heeseung chuckled.

—

You watched them as everything seemed to go in slow motion, with them gripping each other's collars, they were saying something to each other but your ears can’t hear anything but muffled sounds. But what you can’t seem to understand was..

EJ’s expression. Fear was what you can see on his face. Why?

“Y-you… let.. Go-” you can’t hear what he was saying, the more you try to make sense of what he said, the more it makes your head grow more painful. Closing your eyes tightly amidst all the chaos, you can hear your own breathing and your heartbeat, along with the loud ticks that you can’t seem to know where you’re hearing it from, and along with it you then hear something.

A loud crash.

You then heard an ear-piercing scream from other people, immediately covering your ears again with your hands.

Silence.

With your eyes slowly looking up, you're met with a horrifying sight of blood pooling out on the ground, dripping from them..

Blood.

Face contorting into disgust and fear, with your heartbeat quickening so loud you can hear within your ears. Breathing slowly growing rush and stuffy, you wanted to scream as you looked at their body—

NO!

'This is a dream!'

'I must be hallucinating.'

'This must be the drugs. Yes! This must be the drugs!'

'Yes! It must be the drugs. It has happened before!"

'I'm hallucinating, I'm hallucinating, I'm hallucinating.'

You covered your ears with your hands, slowly moving them over to your eyes, pressing it firmly.

'please go away, please go away, go away!' you repeatedly prayed in your mind, for your hallucinations to stop.

"Oh my god!"

"Call the ambulance!"

"Help!"

"Someone help! Please!"

Your heart sank hearing those words. Slowly lowering your hands from your eyes, the bright light your eyes making you squint. You blinked repeatedly to fix your blurry vision and you are met with the exact same horrifyingly sickening sight again making your heart sink.

It wasn’t a hallucination. You weren’t hallucinating. It was real.

The realization finally dawns on you as you start to feel a growing pool inside your stomach, making you nauseous. Tears welling up in your eyes, mouth trembling as you finally lifted your feet away from the ground you've been frozen on for what seems like eternity.

Loud and rush steps grow even louder behind you as people start to approach the two unconscious bodies laying on the floor, multiple sounds ringing in your ears with the murmurs and calls of help from people around you.

Quick breaths along with sniffles, you finally let out a gut-wrenching scream,

"No!!"

.

.

- to be continued -

🖋️a/n: comment or ask me if you want to be added in the permanent taglist!

🥀TAGLIST: @heeseungie77 , @lyzzie8 , @nyfwyeonjun

|> YANDERE SERIES: ENHYPEN (PT. 1)

|> secondary blog: @llyzblog

[intrepidacious]

blind roads

summary: "I'm James Bucky Barnes. This is my charming fiancée. We rob banks." (or, the Bonnie and Clyde AU literally no one asked for.)

pairing: bucky barnes x f!reader

word count: 4.4k

warnings: gunshot injuries and unsafe driving; a bit of smut if you squint; bucky is his own warning in this one y'all; just a couple committing crimes offscreen and being obsessed with each other

please note that my blog is rated 18+. minors dni. ageless/empty blogs will be blocked without warning.

a/n: surprise! no one including myself expected this fic, but here we are. while this story draws inspiration from the lives of two very real people who died eighty-eight years ago, it is mostly influenced by the broadway musical and the 1967 movie. in no way do i mean to suggest that this glamourised version of events is how things happened, or to tell you anything about morality. i just wanted to make that very clear <3

on a somewhat related note, even though faye dunaway (in the picture on the left, taken from the movie) is a white lady, the reader is not described as such. if i fucked up within the story please let me know (nicely) and i'll fix things

masterlist | read on ao3

You’d have to cauterize his arm.

It was a fact you knew deep in your gut, even though the thought alone was enough to make you sick.

You weren’t exactly a nurse, but you’d seen enough people get hurt even before these past couple of months to know that if a wound hadn’t stopped bleeding after a certain amount of time, you had to force it to or it wouldn’t. And Bucky’d been bleeding for a lot longer than that now.

The headlights of the other car had long since disappeared from the rear view mirror, but his foot didn’t release the accelerator a single inch. He’d always been one hell of a driver.

Today, he just looked like hell.

"We need to stop," you told him, but he didn’t take his eyes off the road, not even to send you a reassuring glance. That was when you knew it really was bad.

The blood had started trickling onto the creme colored car seat, and you scooted closer to lean over him and press another ripped piece of cloth from your skirt to the wound. You felt it pulsing under your fingers, and Bucky flinched so hard the car swerved and you yelped. His right hand grabbed onto your thigh and held you steady.

"Bucky," you said again, trying to convey the seriousness of the situation, "we need to stop and get you wrapped up, or you’re gonna die."

"Are you hurt, sugar?"

It was the first time he’d spoken since the shootout.

"Only if you die on me now, baby." There was a hitch in your voice that made his grasp tighten.

"I know a place," he said blankly, letting the engine roar.

He kept driving, and he kept bleeding, and you started praying for the first time in years.

***

You met James Buchanan Barnes in the early winter of 1930, when every customer that came into the diner had to spend half a minute beating the snow off their coats before they sat down. From the moment his eyes met yours you could feel that the path that your life was on would be veering off into a different direction, one that there was no turning back from. And the fact of the matter was, you didn’t mind one bit.

"You make that pie there yourself, sweetheart?" he asked, putting his hat down on the counter next to him without looking away from your face for a single second.

Normally, you wouldn’t let anyone speak to you like that; your ma’d had to have a stern word with you more than once because you kept cussing out rude and sleazy men. But this one … he was different. And not just because he was fine as a devil.

There was something else entirely in those blue eyes of his. A different kind of dangerous; a grander one.

So you raised your eyebrows and poured his coffee. "Why don’t you buy a slice and find out, handsome?"

"Now I feel you’re settin’ me up," he said, a crooked grin spreading on his face. 

"Girl’s gotta make a business."

He put another coin on the counter. "Pretty girl like you ain’t got better things to do?"

"Where d’you want me to start?" you said, cutting his slice a bit larger than you were supposed to. "The sweepin’, the moppin’ or the standin’ in the kitchen?"

"So many talents, and a gorgeous face on top of it," he mused, his smile widening so far you could see one of his teeth was a little chipped. "You’re definitely wasted 'round here."

"And where d’you suppose I should go instead?" you said, wiping your hands on your flower-embroidered apron.

"Come with me." The way he said it wasn’t arrogant, or pleading, or demanding. It was simply a request, an invitation, and his eyes were so soft, then. As if all his sharp edges had been softened by a few minutes of looking at you.

So you laughed. "I don’t even know you."

"We should straighten that out," he said, putting his hat back on only to tip it. "James Buchanan Barnes. Friends call me Bucky."

"What should I call you, then?" you teased.

"Anything you want, sugar."

You knew in that moment you’d write your parents a note that very same night and go with him, wherever the road would take you. It was as if your souls had been waiting to meet.

Bucky finally took a bite of pie and hummed in delight. "I knew it," he said. "Sweetest thing I ever tasted."

He said the same thing after you kissed him later that night, and then again some time after that, his eyes darkening a little more whenever he did, and holy cow.

He was going to be the death of you.

***

The car rolled to a stop in front of a rundown bar on the backstreet of a suburb just over the state line. Bucky’s skin had turned ashen, and sweat kept beading on his face like dew drops.

You were running out of time.

It took you almost five minutes to get Bucky out of the car. He was barely standing, and you half-dragged him to the door, banging at it with your broken heel. Finally, the door opened a few inches.

"What on earth—" the man on the other side began saying.

"We need your help, please," you interrupted. "I’m afraid he’ll die."

"Sam," Bucky rasped. "I’m sorry, pal."

Sam Wilson cursed. "Get him through to the left," he told you before slamming the door again.

You almost started crying when the two of you stumbled down the side street; you kept talking quietly to Bucky, terrified he’d lose consciousness and just collapse on top of you. You could feel your sleeve getting soaked in his blood.

The side door to the bar was hidden between shrubs and old wooden containers, and you basically fell the few stairs inside.

"New management," Sam said as a way of apology, taking a quick look outside to confirm no one had seen you enter, and then double bolted the door. "Walker catches you, we’re all dead before either of you can say 'God bless America'."

"Let’s say somethin’ else, then," Bucky grunted, rolling his weight off your shoulders and staggering to the table to sit down. "What happened to Steve?"

"Retired," Sam said, rolling his eyes as he briskly started opening cabinets, pulling out alcohol and bandages. "Moved to Indiana last spring, with his girl. I thought you knew."

"We haven’t been in touch a lot," you said, taking the bottle out of his hand and forcing a large swig down. Your eyes started to burn. "Could you boil some water?"

"You’re gonna need more than hot water."

"I know," you murmured and took another drink. "Alright," you said, handing Bucky the bottle. "Neither of us is gonna like this next part, baby, but I need you to stay awake and I need you to stay quiet."

He nodded, blinking hard as if your first request was already a conscious effort.

You scrubbed your hands until they felt raw before you took a deep gulp of air and swallowed down the bile that was already threatening to rise. Everything was going to be fine.

Sam held Bucky down as you reached into the large wound on his shoulder and slowly started to pry the bullet out, blood spilling over your fingers.

***

"You wrote a poem about me?" Bucky laughed, fondness spilling out of his eyes. "Oh, you are so in love, sugar."

You slapped your notebook against his naked arm. "If you’re not gonna take me seriously, I swear—"

"I’m sorry—"

"—don’t laugh at me—"

"—I think it’s sweet—"

"—or I will walk right out that door—" You gasped when his hand found its way to the back of your neck, shutting down your train of thought and making your annoyance dissipate all at once.

"My lips," he told you seriously, "are sealed."

"Good," you said softly, your eyes flickering downwards to confirm he was telling the truth. It made him smirk, his breath ghosting against your mouth. "Now. Pay attention, big shot."

You flipped your notebook open again, trying to find where you stopped reading. Bucky’s fingers lazily traced along your shoulders, down the slope of your back, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake.

"'… because I once knew James / when he was honest and upright and clean'," you repeated, giving him a pointed look.

Bucky pouted. "I hate it when you call me James."

"Well, nothing rhymes with Bucky," you laughed.

"Hm," he murmured, his eyelids heavy again. "I could think of some things that almost do."

"You’re horrible." You shook your head teasingly. "I thought you were gonna pay attention."

"Oh, I will." He pulled the notebook out of your hand, and you shivered. "I’ll pay such good attention to you, sugar."

Well. He was a man of his word, alright.

***

After Bucky’s arm was finally wrapped up and he fell into a fitful sleep right there on the table, you slumped down on the ground next to him. The air smelled of singed flesh.

Sam wordlessly handed you another bowl of warm water and some rags to wash the blood off your face and arms. A new set of clothes for each of you was set out on a chair.

"What about you?" he asked, his back still turned as you changed.

"I’m fine," you said tonelessly. Your leg still hurt, but you’d been living with that twisted ankle for a while now; no need to draw additional attention to it.

Not after the ordeal you just went through.

"Are you?" Sam pushed. "They upped the bounty on your heads again, you know that? Changed it to dead or alive, too."

"Buck’s gonna love that," you said, pulling Sarah Wilson’s blouse over your head. "Did they use the new headshots?"

"You know this isn’t a joke, right? Whole country’s waitin’ for the two of you to get caught."

"If they made an actual move instead of just waitin’, I might be worried," you said, smoothing down the fabric. "I’m decent."

The frown lines were deep on Sam’s face when he looked at Bucky, who was still passed out, and then back at you. "He means a lot to me, too, you know," he said slowly. "But is his sorta life really worth all that trouble?"

"I’d die without him," you said without a moment’s hesitation.

Sam contemplated you for a moment and then sighed. "He’d say the same thing about you."

A shadow of a smile hushed across your face for the first time in hours, and exhaustion hit you with a strange sort of comfort when you looked at Bucky. "Yes," you said, "I suppose he would."

***

"Honey, I’m home!"

Your heart gave a flutter and you grinned to yourself when you heard Bucky’s voice over the sputtering motor, and the door opened while the car was still rolling to a stop. He still wore his dad’s dog tags from the Great War, and did it with such pride you’d think he’d fought in it himself. They jingled with each bounding step he came towards you.

"I could get used to this," you told him as he wrapped his arms around you from behind while you stirred the large pot of soup on the stove. Bucky chuckled, his mouth finding that spot on your neck just below the ear.

"Ew," Rebecca commented and loudly flicked through her magazine. "Bank’s closed."

"That’s too bad," Bucky said, but did let go of you. "If only there was a way around that sorta thing."

"D’you have any trouble?" you asked with a concerned look.

"As if." He started chopping up the pile of vegetables you’d set aside for the main course. "None of 'em drive fast enough to make me any trouble."

Pulling a job always made him thrum with excess energy. It was hard to take your eyes off him.

"How much did you get?" Rebecca said, frowning at him.

"Enough to pick up some meat for dinner on my way back."

"Are you serious!" She hurried to the window to look out at the driveway. "Ma’s gonna kill you, but I might just smooch ya."

"Bank’s closed," Bucky said dryly, but his sister ignored him, already running outside.

He shook his head, only stopping when you took it between your hands and kissed him. With a surprised hum, he put the knife down to circle his arms around your waist, pulling you closer.

You kept kissing him until the soup threatened to boil over, breaking away from him with a breathy laugh. "You look good in the kitchen," you told him and pulled the pot off the heat.

"Why, thank you, ma’am," Bucky grinned, his eyes still a bit hazy. "Were you worried about me, sugar?"

"You know I was," you said simply.

"My darling." He pressed his lips to your forehead. "I brought something for you, too. Remember that display you were lookin’ at on Main Street last month?"

"Did you buy me a dress?" you smiled.

"I bought the whole display."

You gasped and threw your arms around him again. "Oh, you are so in love, baby," you grinned against his lips, and Bucky laughed.

"Nice’a you to catch up, sugar."

"Hm," you said quietly. "There’s still some time before everyone gets back."

"I know," Bucky sighed. "I should get the car packed before they do. Make sure we’ve got everythin’ loaded for tomorrow."

"I’d rather make sure you really are alright."

"I told you I’m—"

You started loosening his tie. "I better check," you said, stressing every syllable. "Very. Carefully."

That seemed to shut him up.

***

Bucky’s fever finally broke in the early afternoon, and by the time Sam snuck you dinner, by some sort of miracle, he was sitting upright again, leaning against the shelves of the storage room, his hand itching for his gun when the door opened.

"I don’t know what’s runnin’ through your veins, man, but I’m glad it ain’t mortal blood," Sam said, helping you clean Bucky’s wounds once more and get him into the borrowed shirt.

Bucky’s eyes were still glazed over in a way you didn’t like at all, but he was eating and answering questions, and you hoped that counted for something. You still stayed awake while he dozed off again, your own food mostly untouched. You kept staring at the bloody bandages around his arm, willing him to heal faster.

Like you told Sam; you couldn’t bear to live without him.

Bucky stirred again a few hours later and caught you worrying the hem of your skirt while looking at him with a blank expression. His quiet groan as he sat up drew your attention.

"Where’d you go, sugar?" His rough fingertips softly carressed your cheekbones, your jawline, the nape of your neck. You forced a smile.

"Just daydreamin’," you said, bumping your nose against his.

"Of me, I hope." He sounded more like himself again, and you sighed.

"Always." The taste of iron lingered in his mouth.

"Where’d Sam go?" he asked when you pulled back.

"I think he’s still workin’," you said, wiping a remaining spec of blood from his brow. There was a lot of noise upstairs. "He’s gonna try and pass our letters along."

Both of you kept writing to your families, leaving notes with relatives and friends to pass back along to your mothers. In the early days of being on the run, you’d still been able to phone home every week or so, even go back for several days at a time; now, with the coppers monitoring your every move, it was easier to go weeks without contact than accidentally saying a wrong word that had them back at your rear bumper within the hour.

You could tell the gears were turning in Bucky’s head when he looked at you. "What is it, baby?"

"D’you regret it?" There was fear in those fearless eyes of his. You hated it more than anything. "Because there’s still time to turn back for you."

"How could I regret the best thing to ever happen to me?"

He shook his head. "You deserve …" The weight of his gaze dizzied you. "You deserve everything. A quiet life. You always wanted that."

"Before I knew you, maybe," you said, this smile coming easier. "I deserve the kind of love we’ve got, don’t you think? Not a lot of folks are as lucky as we are."

Bucky grimaced, his eyes turned towards the ground. "It’s gonna mean staying on the run for the rest of our days, sugar, and there probably won’t be that many. I killed at least two of their men, they’re not gonna let me get away with that."

"Listen to me very carefully, James Buchanan Barnes," you said, your voice unwavering. "I’d much rather get only a few more hours in which we have each other, and get to love and fight and talk and run from every damn person who put a target on our backs, together. Rather than fifty or more years without you next to me. You hear me?"

He still didn’t reply, so you took his right hand into both of yours, squeezing it tightly.

"You and me forever, baby," you said, kissing the back of his hand. "You know I’d be wasted anywhere else."

The breath of air he let out sounded so relieved it broke your heart. "How did I get so lucky with you?" he said quietly, his forehead resting against yours.

You fell asleep with your head in his lap, Bucky playing with your hair and listening to your slow breaths until he followed you into your dreams.

***

"Hey."

"Hm?"

"Sweetheart."

"What?"

You turned in sleepy annoyance and found yourself eye to eye with a diamond as big as the nail on your thumb. Your mouth went dry.

"What the hell—" You blinked at the gem, then at Bucky. "What is this?"

"A ring."

"I can see that." A nervous laugh fell out of your mouth. "What are you doing?"

"Proposing."

"Like this?"

He smirked. "How would you prefer me to do it?"

"I—I don’t know, clothed? Maybe?" you huffed, suddenly very awake. "On your knee?"

He rolled off the bed and slumped to his knees, producing his hat from under the bed with an exaggerated flourish and putting it on. "Better?" he asked calmly, looking up at you.

You rose to your elbows. "Where’d you even get that?" you asked, still looking at the diamond ring. It was the most sparkly, brilliant thing you’d ever seen.

Bucky shrugged with one shoulder. "It was my ma’s."

"I didn’t know your ma’s married to Rockefeller."

"I pried it off a nun."

"James."

"Would you just give me an answer?" His eyes sparkled in both mischief and desperation, and you knew he wasn’t gonna tell you. Not that you cared that much, to be honest.

"You’re actually serious."

"As serious as I’ve ever been, sugar."

You kissed him, pulling him in by his dog tags. Bucky groaned into it.

"So," he said when you finally relented, "is that a yes?"

You laughed, your eyes watering. "You haven’t actually asked me, you jerk."

He bumped his nose against yours with a smile. "Marry me?"

"Yes." You said it into his mouth and sighed it against his shoulder, and when he slipped the ring onto your finger, it was a perfect fit.

Heavy, but perfect.

***

Sam helped you haul Bucky back to the stolen car, carrying most of his weight while you made sure his arm kept still.

The car’d been hidden under some canvas and empty boxes overnight, and you pulled them off quickly. Your things were still on the backseat.

"So where are you goin’?" Sam asked.

"North for now, I think," you said. "It’s Becca’s birthday next week, so we gotta make a quick stop home."

"Aren’t the feds gonna know about that?"

"Maybe … Oh, absolutely not, baby," you said when Bucky attempted to open the driver’s door. "You still need to rest, I’m not lettin’ you get your heart rate up."

"By threatenin’ to drive?"

"You are an awful, horrible man," you said and he kissed you with a grin.

"And I don’t deserve you," he said quietly.

"That’s right." You closed the door behind him, but he put his right arm through the window and grabbed your hand. His thumb grazed tenderly along your knuckles.

Sam coughed uncomfortably.

"You’ll come to the wedding, won’t you?" you asked, turning back to face him without letting go of Bucky. "We wanna keep it small, but everyone we care about has business 'round Dallas this time of year anyway."

"I’ll try my best," Sam said, kissing you on the cheek.

"Thanks for everything, man." Bucky leaned out the window while you circled over to the other side of the car.

"Try to stay alive, alright," Sam said quietly. "Not for me, for her."

Bucky’s smile was grim, but determined. "Every day."

You slipped into the driver’s seat, ignoring the blood stains on the leather. "We’ll send a postcard," you said.

Sam tapped the roof of the car as you started the motor. "Give 'em hell."

***

The kid was staring, but you kept the smile on your face as you leaned against the car, relishing in the sunlight on your skin. You didn’t worry about him. He couldn’t be older than ten and his nose was wrinkled anxiously, and you had a loaded gun within reach on the seat behind you.

You didn’t want it to come to anything like that, of course, but it was better to be prepared these days.

Bucky was taking his sweet time to pay the gas. Normally, you’d enjoy the opportunity to stretch your legs and walk around for a bit, but your ankle was badly swollen from when you took that fall during the heist at HS Bank. There was no evading those round brown eyes.

"I’ve seen you."

You looked at the boy, tilting your head. "Have you, now?"

He nodded, raising his chin defiantly. "In the papers. My aunt makes me put them in the chicken coop. I like to look at the pictures."

You swallowed, looking over your shoulder for Bucky, but he was still talking to the clerk inside. "D’you like the chickens, too?" you asked the kid, trying to distract him.

He shrugged. "They peck at my fingers. But they’re better than spiders, I guess."

"Those are creepy, aren’t they?"

The boy nodded, then squinted at you. "You’re prettier than your picture."

You laughed. "What’s your name, kid?"

"Peter."

"Why, thank you, Peter. You’re a real gentleman."

"Are you talkin’ about me, sugar?" Bucky finally came back into view, carrying two large paper bags full of preserves and another full cannister of gas.

You raised your eyebrows, but he only winked at you.

"Pete! I told you to leave the customers alone, honey." The gas station clerk, a woman in her mid-thirties, came to stand in the door frame.

"That’s alright, ma’am," you said. "He’s been very polite."

Peter nodded. "Doesn’t she look prettier than her picture, Aunt May?"

You could tell the exact moment the woman put two and two together, because she immediately pulled Peter behind her, keeping a hand on his shoudler. Your stomach plummeted. You glanced over at Bucky, who didn’t even flinch. He calmly finished loading everything onto the back seat and then wiped his hands on his trousers.

"That’s what I always say," he told Peter, opening the passenger door for you. "Pete, was it?"

The kid nodded from behind his aunt’s back.

"I’m James Bucky Barnes. This is my charming fiancée."

"How d’you do," you said flatly, adding your name.

"We rob banks."

You looked at Bucky in surprise, but his smile didn’t waver. The woman’s gaze darted between the two of you, and then she nodded.

"Come on inside, Pete," she told her nephew. "It’s gonna start raining soon."

Bucky tipped his hat as she ushered the child into the gas station and turned the open sign over.

"Reckless bastard," you mumbled and he chuckled. "What’re we gonna do with all that stuff?" you asked as he climbed back onto the driver’s seat.

"We’ll think of something," Bucky said, starting the engine and putting his arm out on the backrest so you could lean into his side.

You only noticed the bank foreclosure sign next to the entrance of the gas station when you were already driving away.

***

You drove for almost two full days before you deemed Bucky well and whiny enough to take over again.

"You sure?" you said skeptically, looking at his shoulder. He still moved around more stiffly than you liked, but that didn’t seem to faze him at all.

"I love you," he said, leaning against the door of the car you just switched all your things into, leaving the one with the bloodied seats behind a block over. "But this is taking forever."

"I’m drivin’ the speed limit, you know," you rolled your eyes.

"Exactly." He pecked you on the lips and climbed into the car on top of you. You stifled a yelp as he scooted you over into the passenger seat with his right arm. His long legs found home and the engine purred to life.

"You’re impossible," you mumbled and threaded your fingers through his hair as he snickered. It was getting long again.

The car rolled out of the suburbs silently, and then Bucky shifted gears and sped away through the night. You looked over your shoulder and saw only a thick cloud of dust in the pale moonlight. The houses and front yards and camps became tiny spots in the distance, and then disappeared from view entirely.

When you turned around again, there was nothing to see in front of you but the open road.

It was an illusion, but pretty nontheless.

Your road was a dead end with only one resolution, they’d made sure of that. You knew that. Bucky knew that.

His hand tightened around your thigh, giving it a reassuring squeeze. He kept driving, your headlights the only thing carving out the path in front of you. The darkness was closing in.

Someday, you’d both go down together, and if the world had any sense of kindness, they’d bury you side by side. Maybe someday people would visit your grave every now and again, would spare a thought for the two of you, maybe even grieve you. Or maybe they’d just be relieved.

It wouldn’t matter to you, anyway.

You took Bucky’s hand and put it around you, ready for whatever came next. He leaned over for a quick kiss to your lips, and then he looked back ahead, your head resting on his shoulder.

Today was not that day.

thank you so much for reading 💛 if you liked this, please leave a comment or a reblog, that'd be grand!! to see more of my writing, check out my masterlist or follow @intrepidacious-fics for update notifications <3

[softie-rain]

Can I request just a nice fluffy day at the mall or arcade with Peter Maximoff, but also Jean, Scott, Ororo, Kurt, and Jubilee are there, like the whole friend group went out? Gn!reader please

Just a day off

pairings: JUST A BUNCH OF MUTANTS ENJOYING THEIR LIFE. this is peter maximoff x gen!reader if you squint your eyes

warnings: none

summary: Scott and Peter decide that it's time for a break from school and organise a small trip.

a/n: this is a bit rushed and very bad because, honestly, i had to force myself to write it due to my writer block. i hope you'll like it anyway :)

also hehe roger rabbit best 80's movies fr

You should have known that something was wrong when you heard both Peter and Scott saying that at the same time. Only one of them was already trouble alert, but both? 

"WE HAVE AN IDEA." 

You were seriously worried for your and your friend's sake. 

"What idea?" Ororo asked, her expression more calm than yours, but still clearly scared. "Please tell me none of us is going to die." Jean added. 

Peter rolled his eyes. "Ah ah. Very funny." Scott shook his head, his excitement hadn't faded for an instant. "We, my friends, are skipping school today. We're going to the mall, the arcade, the movies, even freaking shopping. So? Who's in?"

Jubilee was the first one to answer. "I am! I really need a day off." You nodded in agreement. "Sure, why not?" 

"I'll tell you why." Ororo answered. "We are the teachers, Scott. We can't simply skip school!" Jubilee shrugged. "Well I am not, and I can't wait to go out." Jean grinned at her friend, and looked at her boyfriend. "She's not so wrong." This time Peter shook his head. "Nuh-uh. I don't care. It's just a day off! What's the worst that could happen?" 

You chuckled. "I can't believe I'm about to say it, but they're not entirely wrong."

"Did you just say we're right?"

"That's so not what I said." 

"I think that's exactly what you said-"

"Enough!" Ororo said, exasperated. "Fine! We'll go to the mall or whatever you want to do!" Scott and Peter ran to their friend to hug her. "You're the best, you know that?" The young mutant laughed. "I know."

~~~

"Ok so we all agree-" 

"That you suck at pac-man? Yeah. Yeah we do." Scott stuck his tongue out at you, making you chuckle. "That's not true, I'm great."

"Scott love, you got the lowest score." Jean made him notice, the yellow numbers flashing at him from the game screen. “That does not mean I’m not good.” He replied. You laughed. “Yeah, it just means we’re better than you.” He raised his hand to take his glasses off, but Ororo stopped before he could. 

“First, you’d kill her. Second, remember what you promised: no mutations allowed today. Only a group of normal people hanging together.” Peter patted her bak. “Yes Ororo don’t worry. Y/n? You up next. What do you want to do now?” You tapped your finger on your chin. “Who framed Roger Rabbit.” It was more of a question than a sentence. “What’s that?”

“A new movie that came out a few days ago. It’s this detective who helps a cartoon solving a murder.” 

“A what helps a what solving a what?” 

“They’re right, I heard of it too, it actually sounds pretty cool!” Jubilee agreed with you. “Hm, I’d like to see this Roger Rabbit too.” Kurt said, shyly. “Sounds like a plan then. To the movies!” Jean exclaimed excitedly. After paying the tickets, they noticed that they were the only ones in the room. “Woah. At least we have all the seats for us!” Scott started running towards the first line. “Right! I wanna try all of them.” Peter added, following his friends. 

Ororo shook her head. “And when you’re gonna realize this was a terrible idea, don’t come to me.” She said, referring to her friends as Peter and Scott run through the room. you chuckled and just picked a seat, as the movie began.

Almost two hours later, once it was over, you got up and stretched. “Well? How was it?” Storm smiled. “Ok I’ll admit it. It was fun, I liked it.” Jubilee threw her arms around yours and Ororo shoulders. “LIked it? I loved it! It was amazing.” Kurt nodded. “Yeah, it was pretty cool.” Peter and Scott catched up behind them as they got out of the theater. “I agree, even if I’m not sure I understood everything.” 

You rolled your eyes at Peter's comment. “Well, you spent the entire movie changing seats every time a scene switched. To get a “full experience”. Jean scoffed. “Ah, not true. They stayed pretty still during Jessica’s performance.” Peter blushed as Scott hugged his girlfriend from behind. “C’mon, you know I got a thing for one redhead and one redhead only.” He smirked, and kissed Jean who smiled at him. 

Jubilee faked gag as the others, you included, laughed. “It’s late. We should get going.” Ororo interrupted them, after they stopped laughing. “Nah, it’s only- 8 p.m.?” Jean scrunched her nose. “It is kinda late.” This time it was Scott who rolled his eyes. “Fine, party pooper.” He finally agreed. As you all headed back to the mansion, you stopped behind to watch the group. Jean and Scott were holding hands, Jubilee and Kurt laughing at something Ororo had said. 

Peter noticed you had slowed down, and stopped to walk with you. "What are you thinking of?” You smiled, looking forward. “Us. Our friendship. It’s in moments like these that I’m glad I know you guys.” Peter laughed. “Aw, ‘cause you’re in others?” You punched him playfully, laughing with him. “No, I get what you mean. I barely had my mom before this and now… I have true friends.” He took your hand. “I’m glad to know you guys too.” You smiled at him and squeezed his hand, before he yelled to Scott “Race to the mansion, last one to arrive owes everyone a dinner!” Then took you in his arms and started running. Even at full speed, you could still hear the familiar groan of Scott.

“Damn it Maximoff!”