#seriously it’s September why is it still 30 degrees outside

[pickedyou]

It’s still unreasonably warm where I live, so I made them suffer with me.

[a-shade-of-blue]

New Gaza fundraiser asks I've received (24 September)

Shady Samir Ashour (@shadyfamily): Shady and his wife have 2 children: Samir and Muhammad. The children are suffering from skin diseases.  (https://gofund.me/e2b5de24) (vetted by @/gazavetters and is #44 on their vetted list. Also shared by 90-ghost) (€958 raised of €50,000 goal)

Mohammed Alanqar & Walaa (@walaafamily1992, @walaamohamed1988): Mohammed and his wife Walaa have 4 children: Zeina(12), Salma (11), Omar (6) and Batoul (1). Batoul was born during the war. The children are suffering serious skin diseases and there are no treatment available. They are trying to evacuate out of Gaza. (https://gofund.me/1808b39f) (#26 on the @/gazavetters vetted fundraiser list) (€375 raised of €30,000 goal)

 Mohammed Al-Deeb (@raneenrabah1, @mohammedrabah2):  Mohammed is a uni student studying engineering. He is from a family of 17. Their house has been destroyed. Now half of them sleep inside a tent while the other half sleep outside in the freezing cold. His  mother, sisters, nephews, and brother are suffering from severe psychological and health issues. (https://gofund.me/18da610e) (vetted by @/gaza-evacuation-funds) (€767 raised of €65,000 goal)

Amira (@princessworlds-posts, @disney-princess-world, @ameera-anq): Amira is 23 years old and has to take care of her family since her father passed away 3 years ago. Her mother suffers from high blood pressure and diabetes. Amira worked as a programmer and a uni teaching assistant while pursuing a master's degree in data science. They are now in Al-Zawayda, living in a school for displaced people. They are trying to evacuate out of Gaza. (https://gofund.me/403c4f69) (shared by 90-ghost and vetted by nabulsi) 

Ahmed Al Yazji (@ahmadgaza1): Ahmed is a 20-year-old in Gaza in urgent need of medical treatment after being seriously injured in an Israeli airstrike. His home was bombed with him inside it, causing a serious injury to his neck. A piece of the rocket is still stuck inside his neck which will potentially completely paralyze him if not removed. He is fundraising to evacuate out of Gaza to receive medical treatment. (https://gofund.me/47fddf62) (vetted by 90-ghost) ($1,246 USD raised of $30,000 goal)

Etaf Al-Qataa (@yousef1234567, @familyetaf1234567): Etaf and her husband Yousef have 5 children: Moataz, Moatasem, Maria (7), Adam (4), and Amira (3). Their house has been destroyed. They are trying to evacuate out of Gaza. (https://gofund.me/66214924) (vetted by @/gazavetters and is #88 on their vetted list) (€2,622 raised of €100,000 goal)

Click here for my Masterlist for fundraisers from 13 - 25 July.

Click here for my Masterlist for fundraisers from 26 -29 July.

Click here for my Masterlist for fundraisers from 30 July - 1 August.

Click here for my Masterlist for fundraisers from 2 - 5 August.

Click here for my Masterlist for fundraisers from 6 - 10 August.

Click here for my Masterlist for fundraisers from 11 - 14 August.

Click here for my Masterlist for fundraisers from 15 - 18 August

Click here for my Masterlist for fundrasiers from 19 - 21 August

Click here for my Masterlist for fundrasiers from 22 - 24 August

Click here for my Masterlist for fundraisers from 25 - 28 August

Click here for my Masterlist for fundraisers from 29 August - 1 September

Click here for my Masterlist for fundraisers from 2 - 5 September.

Click here for my Masterlist for fundraisers from 6-10 September.

Click here for my Masterlist for fundraisers from 11-14 September.

Click here for my Masterlist for fundraisers from 15-18 September.

Click here for my Masterlist for fundraisers from 19-22 September.

How does vetting and verification work? See post here. (also read comments regarding 90-ghost and why we trust the campaigns he has shared)

Click here for my Google Doc with my complete masterlist of all the Palestinian gfm asks I've received, updated daily (along with other verified ways to send aid to Gaza).

See post here for other verified ways to send aid to Gaza.

Don't forget your Daily Clicks on Arab.org, it's free!!! and Every click made is registered in their system and generates donation from sponsors/advertisers.

[missvalerietanner]

Last weekend, I was jet lagged and had to rest. This past weekend... turns out I needed more rest. XD But I finally got everything organized, and it’s time to share... 

I WENT TO CANADA!

As a birthday present to myself, back in June, I filled out all the paperwork and got myself a passport ‘cause, damn it, I want to travel. Just three little months later in September, I had to help my boss check in for his flight for a work thing ( he’s not so computer savvy), and I got antsy. I wanted to be flying somewhere too. And I wanted to give my passport a trial run. SO! My aunt had mentioned wanting to see Niagara Falls, and I was cool with seeing Canada cause 1. passport test, and 2. Lewis Black’s words haunt me: “Even drunk on a bet, you make it to Canada.” (in reference to the fact that George W. had never been outside the country. 

So I started planning, told my aunt (she was thrilled by the idea), and in a matter of two weeks, we had the trip laid out, plan tickets bought, hotel room reserved, and we were good to go.

We stayed in Niagara Falls, Ontario, Canada. We flew into the Buffalo airport in New York, got a rental car, and drove across the Rainbow Bridge ‘cause I figured that’d be pretty cool. Our flight got into Buffalo at midnight, Friday morning (Nov. 2nd), and we reached our hotel in Canada at about 2AM. Should’ve slept, but we were both too jazzed to fall asleep ‘cause we were excited and we could see the freakin’ falls from our hotel room so we stayed up until about 4AM just planning the next day’s adventures and finally crashed. Then we woke up at about 8AM. Insane.

Friday, we shopped at Niagara on the Lake, this cute shopping district about 30 mins north from our hotel (Sheraton on the Falls, if you’re curious). 

Saturday, I had bought us tickets to the boat tours with Hornblower Cruises. We got on the first boat at 10AM and froze our butts off in that 40 degree weather while getting hosed by the mist coming off the Falls. But as I have told everyone, “It’s cool. My face caught most of it.”

That water was cold, but it was revitalizing. We got back to the hotel room, and my aunt said, “Don’t you feel refreshed?” And, you know what? I fucking did. I felt, like, not “born again,” but definitely close to that. I felt... pure and alive.

After the boat ride, which was only 20 mins, I drove us up to Toronto ‘cause, why not, right? We were RIGHT there. Well, not right there, but only two hours away. XD The drive was nice, though, and there are some beautiful bridges along the way. (Though, I never really adjusted to the speed limit signs being in kilometers per hour versus miles. But that’s my fault and America’s. We seriously need to be standard.)

Anyhoo, Toronto was large and loud and busy and kinda insane. Though with 2.2 or so (I think the sign said?) million people, it’s like the crowds of Manhattan with the insanity of L.A. (I assume?). The city’s pretty, though. The architecture of the residential areas was so homey and 1980s feeling--I loved it. So nostalgic and well-kept... like something out of a sitcom. Every yard was perfect. Every car maintained and polished. It was lovely.

On the way out of Toronto (we just drove in and pretty much back out ‘cause it was such a long drive to get back to the hotel), we drove through a primarily Jewish community and saw some of them heading to church--I assume by the way they were all gussied up. That was awesome and definitely not something you happen upon in Tennessee. 

And, look, I don’t wanna come off as creepy, but on the way into Toronto, we stopped at the ONLY SHELL GAS STATION WE EVER SAW, and bought a shit ton of candy for the ride. Then we spot this super adorable Jewish boy, and I made a few jokes about offering him candy (not where he could hear me, obviously). He stared at us as we passed. We stared at him, and I joked that’d he’d puff up his collar and tell his buddies: “These babes were checkin’ ME out.” But in reality, it’s probably more like: “These weird Americans from Pennsylvania were staring at me.”

We had Penn state license plates on our rental car, and whenever I passed people in traffic, I’d say, “Let show ‘em how we drive in Pennsylvania.”

We are NOT from Pennsylvania.

Then on Sunday, our flight was at 7:27 PM in Buffalo, the plan was to just get to the airport and wait there and be bored. But stupid Daylight Savings Time totally fucked us. Not to mention we switched from Central to Eastern time while flying, so we lost an hour then gained one then lost it again on the way home. Fucking stupid.

Anyway, we accidentally checked out of the hotel an hour early ‘cause we thought it was noon (spolier: it was only 11 AM). I realize then when we’re leaving in the car--too late. We cross the border, eat lunch at an Irish pub in... I forget what city it was--but upstate New York outside Albany and about twenty minutes from the Buffalo airport. The place was called Connor’s, and it was fuckin’ delish.

Then we returned the rental car, chilled in the airport for like five hours (that went by faster than you’d think), flew to North Carolina for a layover (which turned into a stress-filled sprint walk, as Daniel Tosh calls it, to our boarding gate which we were late arriving too ‘cause our previous pilot had to circle the damn state of NC ‘cause some jackass was blocking up the runway), and then finally back to Nashville.

All in all, the trip was a blast. It cost me roughly $1000 for the three day trip. We split the hotel room and plane tickets, but I paid for the rental car, gas, and the boat tour. And then I spent roughly $400 on souvenirs and food. Not a bad chunk of change for such a relaxing vacation. That weekend felt SO long, but every minute of it was awesome.

OH! We also ate twice at this ice cream place on the corner from the hotel (well, actually inside the hotel) called Sweet Jesus. Look it up. That place is fucking wonderful.

Canada is lovely and so so peaceful. Probably the best thing about the trip was leaving behind all the bullshit of American culture. We are seriously bogged down here with so much shit every day and so many things demanding our attention and our money and... UGH! I didn’t feel any of that in Canada. Granted, being on vacation and not at work helped, but even still, the country just seemed laid back and calm. 

We all need a little Canada in our life.

Also one place we ate at served tiny packets of peanut butter at breakfast time along with typical tiny packets of jams and jellys. Totally stole one. Totally awesome. 

And at that Shell gas station, I spotted these:

They taste more like hot sauce on a potato chip rather than ketchup, but awesome to see. Oh, and I bought us Tim Horton’s coffee one morning, ‘cause I just HAD to. And boy do Canadians love their Wendy’s and Subway’s. We saw those two eateries everywhere. And we passed a marijuana store which was pretty nifty too.

We didn’t go in, despite what the guys at work say.

Ready for some pictures? :D

This was the view from our hotel room on the 8th floor. We could open the door and just get such a perfect view of the Falls. Every night, they lit up the Falls in an array of colors, but when they colored them for the American and Canadian flags... just wow.

Beautiful homes in Toronto. (And the Mini Cooper that was behind me FOR MILES and probably getting pissed ‘cause he’s in every damn shot. XD)

More houses. I love architecture, o.k.!

Made my aunt grab this shot while I drove. 

Another shot of the Falls, but lit in blue, white, and green. 

And a shot on Sunday morning at about 9AM (we thought it was 10AM XD). Sunday was the only sunny day while we were there, but I didn’t mind. We did a lot of walking--I mean, A LOT--and I’d rather walk under clouds than the sun any day.

And this is Connor’s, the Irish pub we stopped it in New York. 

Here’s a shot of us on the Hornblower boat. The distorted look is ‘cause it was shot with my cheapo-knock off Go-Pro. The big green building in the center back is our hotel. ;p

‘Nother shot from the boat with the CamPark. Those are the American side of the Falls.

The Horseshoe Falls on the Canadian side. Probably the best angle the CamPark caught on the boat.

There were also fireworks over the Falls on Saturday night. I overheard some women in the hotel saying there was some winter festival starting that night (Nov. 3rd). Dunno, but the fireworks were beautiful.

At long last, a shot of some sweet Canadian money ‘cause I still have the $5 bill and one of the $2 coins. I love the look of their money. 

[/content sigh]

...I would absolutely go back.

The even better news is that my aunt knows this chruch group that travels around a lot (like, right now, they’re in freakin’ Sierra Leone!), and they’re planing an Italy trip next June.

YES! Be still my heart!

My aunt signed us both up, and barring an unforeseen accident or a lobotomy, I could be in Italy in June 2019. And the chosen dates line up with my birthday, so I could very well spend my 30th birthday in FREAKIN’ ITALY, MAN! How cool would that be? And yeah, I’m not much for church and religion, but I am willing to put up with anything if it gets me to Italy. XD Plus, Italy has so many beautiful churches I’d love to see, and a church group damn better get me there.

[jewelwriter]

My Two Coins:  My argument on Defense

Disclaimer: "My Two Coins" are to be read as such, someone's two coins about the topic at hand. IF at any point you disagree with it or agree, remember they are just my coins about said topic and the value you have of it will differ from my own because of religion, upbringing, beliefs, and logic based on your own experiences. Do not assume my coins are the international equivalent for it may be considered of a lesser value in the bank of public exchange. Thank you.

“Why didn't you complain about the previous third versions/sequels/whatever that did the same thing? That shows you are biased against Gen VII.“

I’m saying it Once and I’m saying it again.... BIAS MY@$$!!!

Welcome ladies and gentlemen. You've found a wild Jewelwriter.

And I’ve been given this a lot lately with some of my more personal allies and I feel like I have got to defend myself once again.  Though it’ll be in response to each of the criticism that I’ve been sent my way along with extra notes to go with my replies.

=1=

"The removal could be to like you stated, the Framerate is poor. It also doesn't help that they weren't even popular in the first place. You queue for a triple or rotation battle in previous generations and you can be sitting there for maybe 30-40 minutes? Think about it, the game is all 3d, that is a LOT of space being used up and compressed for code and other information."

The patience some people have is sad when I look at it.  (Though makes me wish that my time would have been included for that)  I've considered that 3d animation takes time but at times the Pokemon have vanished when attacks are used...trainer included.  So it could have worked still to a degree.  This is the most bendable of points since the programming isn't easy.

-

And I mean it as the Programming that probably is going to be a problem when trying to get certain things into a certain space but then again they had managed to do it before to fit a number of details into the game so it isn’t as easy to do but it is possible if by working edges to smooth them out.

=2=

"Super Training was bullshit and I never used it. The change of pace for Island Trials was due to the face Alolan didn't follow the rest of the world in the system. The Gen I pandering is to be excepted as the region is neighbors with Kanto. The Ultra Beasts were an interesting twist on Pokémon Legendaries/Mythicals And really, the whole story. I'm sorry to say this, but it sounds like she is bitching over spilled milk, crying because she wanted another dull Pokémon Game.”

Super Training wasn't bs because it honestly will tell you what EVs you are giving which is a lot more than what the islands are doing.

Doesn't excuse how they aren't as filling as the trainer battles and Gym battles.  The fact would be one of the more filling battles that were given with the gyms was oddly a Gen 3 battle (the 7th one oddly...better known in Emerald for having 4 Pokemon to worry about.) so in a way I wasn't in as much a headache with the Gym system and more with the Trials.

I might as well see Mt Moon with how that seems to be that close to Kanto with all those Pokes.  I mean there are other generations that deserve some love and barely got any (Gen 5 especially...I mean Audino for the only mega poke?  And I could count nearly 19 of them before you get through half the islands.) so it would help to see more mon that isn't just restricted to Gen 1 remixes?

Cosmog was an interesting concept.  The Ultra Beast had some promise, but the story was about LILLY and her mostly needing your help to find answers while you randomly get the story pointed to you instead of the main goal of it being on you when the boring part of her quest kicks in.   Followed by Edgy the wannabe rival that tries to be the blue you wanted at the last minute when the Professor did a better job of that and he was more interested in seeing you grow out of anyone else.  And that's on top of the fact that I accepted that Hau wasn't going to be the strong battler rival of the game.  So excuse me for being factual on something that was done wrong and judged the game on its own before comparing it to the rest of the legacy which this is the weakest by far.

-

And how can one defend this one since they literally have you working around everyone else and barely have anyone really interested in you as a true trainer to watch grow sans the professor when you begin.  Hau is the friendly fighter who’s just trying to grow beyond his Grandpa, Edge Prince Gladion is a last-minute fighter using an apparent god fighting Pokemon that apparently got a type power up stronger than yours.  At least the professor fights you on your level of sorts.  Ultra Beasts storyline kind of is left to the aftergame and barely anything really revealed about them.  The only one that kind of gets development before you get it is Cosmog who kind of goes with you all over (though it tells you something when Lilly is able to carry Cosmoem) so it’s workable.

=3=

“Seriously, Sun and Moon got me back into series after the disappoint of X/Y. I liked the story, but at the same time, X/Y was just boring outside of it. Same old same old. I mean, I love it when you beat the champion and then the old King himself AZ appears and challenges you. It just seems she hates everything new they are trying to do."

I honestly felt more enlightened to Pokemon thanks to Black and White and X and Y felt like more the most completed revival of the series that people wanted out of the Black and White.  And sure I understand there are risk and reward for trying something new but when the new fails it is time to call it out on THAT and at least wait to see if it gets better or worst.  I'm kind of happy that you can hatch 19-24 eggs in one time, happy you can get rare items and stones to sell and use for your Pokemon to evolve, and I'm happy that they added more ways to battle with the Battle Royal and made it that you are the champion and are defending your belt against different trainers instead of just taking on the same foe again (Fun fact: for the mission of that sort I took it on and did it 5 times which I took on Hau, The Dragon Rocker, the Professor, Team Skull's former babysitter, and the kid on route 1. :P ) so excuse me for seeing the negatives outway the positives but when it is true... it is flipping true.

-

And I’m not kidding about it since I had to hunt for the reasons why I liked Gen 7 instead of finding it flowing out like a river of water.  If Orre was more memorable than alola then there’s a problem.

=4=

"Platinum and Emerald were done in literally half of a year. And B2W2 had worse footing then Sun and Moon. If that is not a paste job, I dunno what is anymore. I'm just going to stand on my ground of that, a majority of the Pokémon Community is spoiled. I mean, look at Kirby games. Most of them are nearly similar in gameplay and theme but always get extreme praise. There is very little hate towards it, so why on God's Green Earth is Pokémon getting it?"

-.- (GOD that is so incorrect.) Time for a bit of a time check...

Gen 1: September 28th, 1998 Yellow: October 19th, 1999 ({=Unexpected here.  Then again I was moving during this time.)

Gen 2: October 15th, 2000 Crystal: July 29th, 2001 ({= Here is under a year.)

Gen 3: March 17th, 2003 Emerald:  May 1st, 2005

Gen 4: April 22nd, 2007 Platinum: March 22nd, 2009

Gen 5:  March 6th, 2011 B2/W2:  October 7th, 2012

Gen 6: October 12th, 2013 ({= I had to flinch at how short this date was.) ORAS:  November 21st, 2014 ({= Only thing comparable for the time.)

Gen 7: November 18th, 2016 Ultra S/Ultra M: November 17th, 2017

They only did going under a year twice... and that's before the 3rd comes up.   I'm one of the few that try to make my own Pokemon from the ground up and the only thing I hate worst than this generation is what is flipping going with Smogon so think of it like this: I might hate Gen 7 (Which might not change my mind when the newest of it comes out and I got to work with it.) but I rather play with that than step anywhere near Smogon at all costs.  Sure competitive Pokemon is a mess but I would want that to grow and be more diverse than what I'm seeing from the worst of the community which is in that area of toddlers.

-

And I’m being truthful here.  I REALLY despise Smogon with such a fury that it makes My gen 7 hate I got to look like a cake compared to a Snorlax dinner that is the fury I have for Smogon.

=

And that’s EACH and every counterpoint and I will still defend my argument to the end since it is under a year...and in a way, I expected more in a way from Game Freak, The Pokemon Company, and the people that know their history and support them.  I might be one voice but after all the things that went wrong with this one I’ll be glad to get out of vacation mode in Pokemon.  Write to me if you feel like I’m write, right, wrong, or mixed in some way.  After all THIS is a text box.

As for me... this wild one runs away!

[restlessmaknae]

Beth’s birthday prompt party!

Let me invite all of you to my first ever prompt party which will start right now and last until my birthday which is September 6th. The date is subject to change, it depends on how many of you will join me. One thing is for sure, I’m going to upload the first finished drabble(s) on my birthday and keep uploading them until they are all up.

What’s a prompt party, you might ask. It’s a fancy name for telling you that I’m taking drabble requests for a week because my birthday is coming up and I want to thank you all for staying with me, being my friend and supporting my fics! Sadly, I can’t give you anything else besides my virtual bear hugs and the fics that I’m writing. *sending those virtual hugs*

During this prompt party, you have the chance to tell me what you would like to read. I came up with a list of prompts (narrowed down the prompts from the following lists: 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5), so you can choose a boy group member, a prompt from my list and even add some extra details if you wish.

Here’s my list:

1.“Fancy seeing you here.” “I work here.”

2.“Right now, I don’t know if I want to kiss you or shove you off a bridge” “Can I pick?”

3.“If I go through with this, I die. If I don’t, we all die.”

4.“No, no, you do NOT want me navigating. I’ll accidentally navigate us off a cliff.”

5.“Is that blood?” “No?” “That’s not a question you’re supposed to answer with another question.”

6.“This is all your fault.” “I hope so.”

7.“Excuse me! I was a superhero for ten whole minutes!” “And in that time you got kidnapped and we had to come to the rescue.”

8.“I am way too sober for this.”

9.“You’re not as evil as people think you are.” “No. I’m much worse.”

10.“Did you just… agree with me?” “Oh, I wish I could take-““Nope! You said it! No take-backs!”

11.“This plan of yours is going to get us killed. Of course, I’m in.”

12.“Don’t mind me, I’ll just be in the corner having another existential crisis.”

13.“Can you please go be stupid somewhere that’s away from me?”

14.“What are you afraid of?” “You.”

15.“Are you SURE I can’t punch him in the face?” “Yes.” “What if I break his nose a little?”

16.“You don’t strike me as a professional criminal.” “That’s what makes me so good at it.”

17.“I’m trying to have a serious conversation with you!” “And I’m trying to subtly avoid it!”

18.“Unless I screw this up again, I’m going to marry you.” “Well you better not mess this up”

19.“Whether you believe in me or not, I will continue to exist.”

20.“Take my hand.” “Why?” “I’m trying to ask you to marry me, so take my damn hand!”

21.“You’re a psychopath.” “I prefer creative.”

22.“You look…” “Beautiful, I know. Can we move on?”

23.“She’s my best friend. That hasn’t changed.” “It’s clear your feelings for her has.”

24.“I saved your life.” “You pushed me off a building.”

25.“How do we keep getting into these situations?” “Eleven years of friendship and I still don’t know.”

26.“I want to go home.” “And I want to go to the moon. It ain’t happening sweetheart. Time to accept that.”

27.“What now?” “I don’t know. I thought the jump would kill us.”

28.“I hate you.” “Why? I’m lovely.”

29.“You love her don’t you?” “Was it that obvious?”

30.“I was just kind of hoping that you’d, y’know…. fall in love with me.”

31.“You know, no one bothered me this much when I was dead.”

32.“Nope. I can’t go to hell. Satan still has a restraining order against me.”

33. "I'm here for my daily fix of hugs and kisses."

34. "I'm cold. Come closer."

35. "I love you a lot, but please stop trying to cook me dinner, you suck.”

36. "People are jerks, but not you."

37. "I'll share the blankets with you."

38. "Who changed the thermostat settings? I’m freezing to death."

39. "You can put your cold feet on me."

40. "Your stray red item turned my whites pink."

41. "A thunderstorm is rolling through town and you’re scared of lightening/thunder, so I’ll protect you."

42. "There was a power outage and now we have to have dinner by candlelight."

43. "Rock Paper Scissors to see who has to go talk to the neighbors upstairs for being too loud."

44. "I just came home to you crying while watching a movie, please tell me what’s going on."

45. "Our AC is out and it’s the middle of the summer."

46. "You found me crying on the kitchen floor in the middle of the night surrounded by a shattered jelly jar."

47. "My parents are coming over in 10 minutes, so please put some clothes on."

48. "We’re repainting the apartment and going to the hardware store together to pick out color swatches."

49. "IF YOU USE UP ALL THE HOT WATER ONE MORE TIME IM GOING TO BAN YOU TO THE COUCH FOR A MONTH."

50. "My ex just invited me to their wedding and I need you to be my date, so it doesn’t look like I’ve spent the last few years failing to get over them."

51. "I’m really drunk, please help me get safely out of the way, so I don’t ruin our friend’s wedding."

52. "This is probably a bad time, but marry me?"

53. "We’ve become the clingy newlyweds you always complained about. "

54. "I know you haven’t had the best experience with dogs in the past but look at its face please please can we keep it?"

55. "I wanted to surprise you for our anniversary, but everything that could go wrong, did go wrong."

56. "I beat you at Mario Kart and now you're banishing me to the couch for the night?”

57. "I surprised you with tickets to see our favorite band… WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU SURPRISED ME WITH TICKETS TO SEE THEM TOO?"

58. "You had a business trip and I missed you so much that I kind of tore up the house in your absence like a dog with separation anxiety… sorry?"

59. "You’re lucky I’m pregnant!"

60. "Can you help me up, your child is pretty heavy."

61. "I can’t be pregnant… or….OH MY GOD! "

62. "It’s 2 am but you’re craving cake and we’re both up anyway so let’s bake in our underwear."

63. "I think someone had a little accident with the finger paint."

64. "Our kid is totally the one who wanted to build a pillow fort, not me."

65. "Ooh…someone’s got a tummy ache."

66. "Okay fine, one more story, but then you really have to go to bed."

67. “you’re super short and i’m sorry but it’s really really cute whenever you try to reach that book on the top shelf here lemme help you- oh no don’t be embarrassed, your face is all red and you’re even more adorable now i am going to die” au

68. “i’m a biker and one day i was biking in your neighborhood while you just happened to be outside watering the plants and since you’re so goddamn cute i accidentally steered into a pole and now you’re giving me first aid (holy shit you’re even cuter up close)” au /“you’re biking through my neighborhood and you ran into a pole so now i’m really concerned and patching you up, oh my gosh you’re really hot even though you have a bloody nose” au

69. “i’m at a karaoke bar and i’m sober enough to realize that your voice singing my absolute favorite song is the most beautiful thing i’ve ever heard, and you caught me staring and winked at me oh shit” au

70. “you fell asleep on my shoulder on the plane ride and i would ask you to move but you look so comfy and adorable when you sleep. also you smell really good and the feeling of your breath on my skin is somewhat relaxing, maybe we can go out to lunch in this shitty airport when you wake up?” au

71. “i’m one of those talk show stars that walks up to random people on the streets and asks them really obscure questions, and you’re really cute and camera shy and i’m sorry but it’s adorable how you stutter when you’re nervous, uh, perhaps when there aren’t so many cameras surrounding me i can buy you a drink?” au

72. “will you stop flirting with me you just got seriously injured and i’m the EMT trying to tend to your wounds in the ambulance, i don’t give a fuck that i look cute when i’m concerned, you’re lucky you’re not dead you dipshit” au

73. “you have fire powers and i have ice powers and one day you save my ass and even though we’re supposed to be rivals, you’re actually really really cute and warm can i just stay in your arms forever bc i am perpetually cold” au /“you have ice powers and i have fire powers and i save your sorry ass from getting hurt/killed, okay i know we’re supposed to be rivals according to every legend ever but you’re adorable and wow you’re really cold, would you like me to warm you up?” au

74. “we’re coworkers and all the other employees ship us so just for fun we all go out clubbing/to a bar but little do we know its actually a plot they set up to get us to realize our supposed love for each other. wait you’re actually a really good dancer and your laugh is so endearing and, holy shit, maybe our colleagues were right” au

75. “i catch you at the bus terminal shivering your ass off because it’s 30 degrees and for some godforsaken reason you’re wearing a short sleeve t shirt, so out of pity i lend you my hoodie and you look so surprised it’s the cutest thing i’ve ever seen, setting aside the fact that you’re a goddamn idiot, do you want to get sick?” au / “you look so sad and cold that i just tell you to keep my hoodie b/c you obviously need it more than i do. a week later i see you at a coffee shop/book store/etc. and you’re wearing my hoodie which you look so fucking tiny and cute in, and you just saw me and you look super embarrassed; you offer me it back but i tell you it suits you more and we end up talking and i buy you a drink” au

76. “we’re partners in cupcake wars and i never realized how cute you look with frosting on your face until now but no distractions, we have to fucking pummel these other teams because we are the best goddamn cupcake company in the universe WE CAN DO THIS” au

77. “i accidentally called the wrong skype number and it turns out the person i called was you and you’re in a different time zone, so it’s 3am where you are and you just woke up and look fucking pissed but you’re cute so… let’s do this again when you’re not asleep. i’m more than willing to stay up into the dead of night to talk to you” au

78. “i’m a radio host who indirectly mentions you and flirts with you on my show but you’re so goddamn clueless, please just notice me i’m so desperate for you it’s kind of sad” au

angst

79. “There was never an us.”

80. “You can hate me, you can dislike me but how can you cheat on me?”

81. “Breaking up, was our best choice…right?”

82. “Just because I don’t show or say that it hurt, doesn’t mean I don’t have any feelings.”

83. “I loved you. Loved.”

84. “I’m so stupid to make the mistake of falling in love with my best friend!”

85. “You’re just another player, and it’s a game over to us.”

86. „I lost my little sibling in IKEA and I need your help finding them.”

87. „I work at the animal shelter and you always come in to pet the cats when you’re sad.”

88. “Oh so you’re the camp counselor my little sibling keeps talking about”

89. „We both have friends who party too hard and we keep running into each other in the bathroom while we hold their hair back.”

90. „We showed up at a book club meeting but we’re the only people there who are not interested in Nicholas Sparks.”

91. „We both signed up for an adventure cycling class and we’re the slowest people so we always end up biking together at the back.”

92. „Our little siblings are on rival sports teams and I’ve made it my life goal to cheer louder than you.”

93. „Someone gave me a fake phone number and it’s actually yours.”

94. “Money talks bullshit walks, pay me and I’ll do it for you.”

95. “Stop being so careless one of these days you will get us both killed”

96. “I’m sorry but the number you have dialed is currently unavailable please don’t try again.”

97. “Can you please tell me why we are locked in the school’s janitor closet?”

98. “Get your ass over here i’m not done with you yet!”

99. “Should I suppose to take it as an insult or a compliment?”

100. “I have a huge hangover and am not in the mood to argue with you. So whatever it is I think it can wait until tomorrow.”

101. “I can’t believe that you left me alone with this idiot.”

102. “It seems like you are having a hard time over there, need help?”

103. “Do you think he is still breathing?”

104. “Why is it so hard for you to admit you were wrong?”

105. “Somehow being a ghost has made you hotter”

106. “I’m glad to be your travelling companion in this journey of regret”

107. “You’re lucky I’m tired because if I was fully awake I would have already shoved you off this roof.”

108. „I know I keep coming to the cookie shop and for some reason it’s always your shift but don’t you dare judge me– I need these for my sanity.”

109. „It’s 3 am and I’m still in the library studying for finals and I’m losing my grip on reality and I think I just saw a ghost.”

110. „You’re baking cookies in the communal kitchen at 3 AM and I’m angry but also really hungry.”

111. „I've been sitting in this seat all semester why did you decide to sit in it today?”

(the ones crossed out have already been requested *-*)

How can you request? Leave your request(s) in my ask box. For example, you can say that you want #66 with Chen and that’s it. Or you want #26 with Jin and you think it would be interesting as a gang AU. Or you would like a best friends to lovers story with Jae from Day6 and #4. Really, you can ask for anything! It’s your time to request a story you would like to read, so don’t be afraid! I don’t bite. ;)

How many drabbles can you request? You can ask for more drabbles but keep in mind that it might take a while until I’ll finish writing them all.

What can/can’t you ask for? I’m not comfortable writing smut, so please don’t ask for those. Furthermore, I don’t write yaoi, yuri, genderbender, mpreg, my stories are always member x OC/reader centered. Groups that I’ll take requests for are the ones that I’m familiar with and love, so which are the following: BTS, EXO, GOT7, Day6, Monsta X, Pentagon, NCT, KNK, BtoB, SHINee, VIXX, Astro, Seventeen, The Rose, B1A4, SF9 and Teen Top.

Any questions? My ask is always open, so I’m looking forward to your requests and any questions that you might have.

I hope lots of you will join me and we can have a wonderful prompt party together! I love you all! <3 Thank you for staying with me! <3

[cripplinganxietyflix]

I saw IT.

The time has finally arrived. IT was released to theaters last Friday and so far, it’s broken a lot of records in a time when we’re all talking about a disastrous summer season for theaters (down 7% from the summer of 2016), and pretty piss-poor theater attendance in general. The $35 million dollar film made over $50 million in its first day in theaters and has generated $123 million in its opening weekend. IT can now lay claim to both the largest-ever opening for a horror film and the largest-ever opening for a film released in September. That’s a pretty big deal, but even before viewing the film, I wasn’t surprised by the success. The reputation the IT miniseries has generated over 27 years and the cultural phenomenon it sparked, in my mind, has played the largest role in selling $123 million in tickets. It isn’t the objective quality of the film driving this, but I’ll get to that in a bit.

In terms of millennials and based on my own anecdotal observation, the IT miniseries serves as a lot of people under 30’s first horror movie experience. Usually dad rented the two VHS tapes from Blockbuster because hey, it was on TV, it can’t be too bad. Or someone tuned in on a sick day in elementary school during a re-run. A lot of people in their early 30s and late 20s saw IT between the ages of six and ten, in the prime age for childhood post-traumatic horror movie stress. I would argue that the original IT has claimed the largest number of childhoods out of all horror films, maybe more than The Exorcist, Dawn of the Dead, or The Shining.

Speaking of which, I’m not in the demographic of adults that were scarred by IT as a child. I can’t precisely recall when I first watched it, but I was between 10 and 12 and by then I’d already had my shit wrecked watching The Omen on AMC home alone on a sick day when I was 8. To this day, the moments in the miniseries that spooked me were a few instances of weird practical effects, like the shower scene with the clown parting his way through a drain, but other than that, I came out of it mostly bored. The spider ending was pretty weak even for someone with arachnophobia. While Tim Curry did his best with an absurd premise and he did deliver a memorable performance, it’s hard for me to take the whole thing seriously. It’s a flamboyant, quipping clown, for fuck’s sake. On that note, I’ve never really understood the appeal of Stephen King, to be really frank. You can argue the absolute best adaptation of his work is Kubrick’s The Shining, and King himself has come out and said he dislikes it because of the liberties Kubrick took to make it a watchable, serious film. You can say what you want about that, but I look at that and compare it to King’s work on and praise for the 1997 Mick Garris miniseries adaptation for The Shining, and it’s hard for me to take him seriously. I respect his work ethic, but I don’t find the work itself appealing or compelling most of the time.

It takes some skill to make a cohesive film about an angry, child-murdering, supernatural clown that also can take the form of someone’s worst fear. The miniseries tried, and I think it was a mixed bag. The first half is pretty good and above average from what I would have expected for a TV special in the early 1990s, but the second half is quite disappointing. There are some good scares and quite a bit of effort made in terms of practical SFX, but it definitely suffered from the campy atmosphere and bad acting from the adults. The writing, particularly in part two, was kind of weak. The script wasn’t brilliant, and sometimes it was downright awful. The whole product is pretty cheesy and really didn’t age well. I won’t comment on the book because I read a bit of it in middle school and disliked it enough to put it down, and also because I don’t want to talk about the underage gangbang. FYI really refine your fucking Google search on that one if you’re curious. 

Coming out of the newest incarnation of IT, I think it was about what I expected. The closest comparison I can make is something like The Conjuring- not brilliant, certainly above the average wide-release horror film, but far too reliant on jump scares and sudden noises. And of course, plenty of CG effects to take you right out of the moment.

That’s the first thing I want to talk about with IT. The CG is my biggest complaint. Maybe a couple of years ago I would have said that CG is a foregone conclusion to have a successful, major horror movie, but after Get Out made $252.4 million dollars earlier this year on a $4.5 million budget without any major computer effects, I no longer think that’s a valid excuse. Sure, IT is much more of a spectacle film, but that makes me feel even more disappointed in the pervasive use of CG. A few times, I suppose it was justified, but it largely cheapened the film. There are many sequences with Pennywise rushing the screen that look awful, even laughable in some cases. The woman in the painting was another good example of bad CG being overused. We already know that minimal CG used to augment or distort faces can be great for horror, and a very relevant example I can think of is the very slight facial distortions used for the vampires in the film 30 Days of Night. Special effects were used to slightly narrow faces, to tilt eyes a few degrees; and the effect is a very creepy, almost uncanny valley effect that benefited that particular film greatly. I think something as subtle as skewing a woman’s face would have been more effective than what we saw in IT, which looked like a low-end video game monster. But that brings me to my next point.

This movie has zero subtlety. Yes, a movie about a pun-making killer clown can’t be expected to be a subtle film; that’s not what I’m getting at. Subtlety is a really important aspect of making something scary. IT fell victim to the same plague that most other horror films can’t seem to fight off, and that’s the total lack of subtlety in the scares. I feel like I saw Pennywise at least every five minutes, if not more, and it very much diminished his presence. Instead of being selective when showing him to maximize the dread and tension when he is visible, the movie spends a good chunk of its time and budget showing him off. Even worse, they don’t often make it count. Whereas many of Tim Curry’s Pennywise appearances in the miniseries are very memorable and stand out well, there were 3 instances where they let Bill Skarsgård do his thing: once at the very beginning, once in the middle of the film when Bill, Richie and Eddie enter the wellhouse for the first time, and at the very end of the film when they vanquish him back into the well. I think that the vast majority of Pennywise’s appearances outside of those three were meaningless and only served to desensitize viewers to the scare he would otherwise be able to generate. It was like they crammed 4 hours worth of Pennywise appearances into half the time. I feel that the film offered Skarsgård very few opportunities to carve his own path and make his performance iconic and memorable, and that’s pretty unfortunate. I think he is more than capable of delivering a good performance without being smothered with a disorienting kaleidescope of bad and unnecessary CG. He shows up so often, and yet it felt like Skarsgård had so little time to make it count.

On the note of subtlety, we need to talk about jump scares, and what makes a good jump scare and what makes a bad one. Jump scares are not inherently bad in horror films, but they are often overused and they’re almost always sloppy. A really good example of a perfect, organic jump scare can be found in the first fifteen minutes of the film Suspiria. Don’t call me a snob, there’s a reason why it has its reputation. We see a frightened young woman standing near a large, dark window. The Goblin score is hammering away and giving you a bizarre anxiety about what is about to happen. She looks out the window into the darkness, like she’s certain something has to be hiding in it. And it makes sense, because minutes earlier she’s running for her life through the woods and you’re still wondering what she was fleeing from. She lifts a lamp to the window, and we look into the darkness, and a pair of yellow bulging eyes appear with a subtle invocation from the Goblin score. The music then quiets, the shot pulls away, and suddenly a hairy arm smashes through the glass and grabs her head. The movie has already spent several minutes generating tension between the images and the score, and when the jump scare happens there is no added audio effects to augment what is already there. We have the sound of breaking glass and the woman’s screaming to do that already. Often times everything a film needs to generate a jump scare is already present, but all too often, directors don’t make the effort to cultivate the atmosphere to precipitate an organic jump scare. The audience is constantly cued into expecting one due to the framing of the scene, and they add unnecessary effects like loud, sudden noises to make you jump anyway. It’s a huge cop out! You can actually see a real example of this right in the IT teaser, and they kept in the movie. I think it’s enough to see Pennywise’s glowing eyes appear in the darkness of the sewer as Georgie tries to retrieve his boat, but in the teasers, they’ve added a loud noise like you’re too stupid to know when to be scared. It’s so unneeded, and lazy, and it was all over the film. Every time something spooky was about to happen, you fully expected it, and they threw in a loud clattering noise to scare you so that they wouldn’t have to try harder to generate tension or anxiety or to truly take you by surprise. I fully expected this from a major studio horror film but was surprised by how heavily IT relied on this low hanging fruit.

The writing was pretty uneven, but when it was good it was great, and the comedic timing worked well. However, it seems like Finn Wolfhard and Jack Dylan Grazer’s lines had all the effort put into them, but everyone else was pretty unmemorable. If the other kids are great actors, it wasn’t always easy to see. There’s a moment when Mike says something along the lines of “Guess I really am just an outsider” as his excuse for leaving the group, and it was so out-of-place and dumb. I hated the scene with Beverly cutting her hair and saying “this is what you did!” Speaking of whom, Sophia Lillis was pretty terrible and often felt extremely ingenuine when delivering her lines. Most of the other kids were alright, but not great. My bar for great child performances in horror movies has been set by films like The Innocents and more recently The Witch, so maybe I’m asking too much. But I went into this movie hearing all this buzz about how the strongest part of the film is the kids, and I’m just not seeing it. Do not even get me started on Nicholas Hamilton, who played Henry the bully. I could not stop rolling my eyes.

If anything about IT impressed me, I respected its willingness to show child dismemberment and death. It certainly was surprising when it happened and I am always talking about how the last frontiers of horror are showing kids being murdered and child molestation, and this movie covered both of those things. Kudos for being daring, and kudos for doing an R-rated film horror film, especially when big studio horror always goes for a PG-13 to get that sweet, sweet middle-schooler and teenager money. I think that Bill Skarsgård tries very hard with the opportunities he’s afforded, and I appreciate that he tried to do something different than what Tim Curry did. I’m not sure if I liked the cutesy-ness incorporated into of some of that approach, but he tried, and it shows. Two of the child actors (mentioned above) were great and charming, and I really wish that the casting was more consistent. I like that it didn’t try to cram the adult storyline into the run time and as much as I’ve disliked this film, it’s probably a good idea to have a sequel for the rest.

But I think that’s it for what I enjoyed. Maybe I’m jaded and maybe I’ve watched too many horror films, but IT felt like a totally unnecessary venture. I think that most of the positive reviews are 1) reviewers that are used to seeing mostly garbage low-effort horror blockbusters and 2) people that are huge fans of the miniseries or book and were happy to see it get a facelift. That’s the only way I can explain the buzz to myself. I don’t recall being scared at any point other than being afraid I was going to see a 15-year-old’s character get raped by her pervy dad. I think if you’re a big IT or Stephen King fan, or you’re not a prolific horror movie consumer, you’ll probably have a fine time watching this film. If you’re a horror snob, or hold your horror to reasonable standards, there’s a good chance you’re gonna have a bad time. I’ve seen a lot of great, effective horror movies in the last couple of years, and literally all of them cost $2-5 million to make and had little or no CGI. I really wanted to enjoy this movie and I did get myself excited to see it, but having slept on it for a night I’m baffled by the positive reviews. I wish I had enjoyed it more. IT isn’t brave enough to do anything outside of an extremely conventional, predictable approach, and unfortunately for this viewer, slightly above average writing with expensive production quality does not make a great horror film.

★★ ½

[drmichaelmajickmikelikey]

Here's the introduction to my book, "I AM Magic Mike Likey! The Collector's Edition". If you enjoyed my TV-show in Winnipeg from 1985-1994, you'll LOVE this book, which is filled with humorous anecdotes and LOTS of pictures! It's September 2016, and I sit here and ponder all of my blessings with wonder and awe. At this point, I'm looking forward to spiritually-counseling my Theocentric Psychology clients, to holding a few metaphysically-oriented workshops, to writing several more books, and to the several magic-shows I'll be performing over the next few months, in addition to learning and honing more magic-tricks! It was in June of 1985 that I started video-taping the premiere episode, 58-minutes in length, of my television program "Kiddie Cabaret", which subsequently aired the following week on VPW 13 in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. It was a guaranteed pilot, which essentially meant that I was given approval to record subsequent 30 (really 28) minute shows ad-infinitum for airing at a weekly, regular time. I was only twenty-nine at the time, but I had dreamed of having my own television show (producing and starring in one) ever since watching "Magic Tom's Surprise Party" and "The Magic Land of Alakazam" on TV as a child! These shows featured a magician who did amazing illusions week-after-week, and I never tired at the wonders and marvels that these fellows had to offer. Every day (in Magic Tom Auburn's case) at 4:00 p.m. after school I sat myself down in front of the TV to see what tricks Magic Tom would do this time. He also featured a sci-fi adventure serial from the 1940's, "Rocket Man" which I embraced wholeheartedly as well. In those days in Montreal, Canada, all we had in the way of Canadian children's programming on television (besides American shows) was "The Friendly Giant", "Razzle Dazzle", "Tween Set", "Butternut Square", (later "Mr. Dressup") and "The Forest Rangers", all produced in Toronto, as well as "Johnny Jellybean", "Romper Room", and "Chez Helene", all produced in Montreal, in addition to Magic Tom Auburn's "Surprise Party". What a surprise indeed it was for me daily as I eagerly soaked up the tricks and sleight-of-hand that Magic Tom did; Tom was such an influence on young, Montreal, aspiring magicians, that they all called themselves "Magic this", or "Magic that", hence my professional stage-name, "Magic Mike". with the onslaught of other "Magic Mike's" in the 1980's and '90's, I later had to specify "Magic Mike Likey", but for many years in Winnipeg I was known locally as "Magic Mike". Winnipeg even spawned a young magician, "Magic Joey", an alcoholic beverage known as "Mike's Magic Elixir", and a high-end amusement centre in a Charleswood mall, "Magic Mike's"! My, the power of television, although quite frankly it was Public Access television, which essentially meant that anyone and his dog could have a TV-show on that channel because of CRTC regulations. CRTC stands for Canadian Radio and Television Commission. The CRTC would later (in 1994) rescind it's law, causing all Public Access channels across Canada to shut down, and with that the end of "Magic Mike & Company" as well as numerous other TV-show on that channel which Winnipeggers refer to as "The Golden Age of Television". The Golden Age of Television included such luminaries as "The Pollack and Pollack Show", and "The Continentals", more on these later on. There was also "The Jaret Sereda Show" and "The Noreen Shane Show", both of which featured and supported local talent. When local Winnipeg television stations decided to shut down production of all children's programming in 1994, gone were new productions of "The Fred Penner Show" and a show on broadcast television that I had been a regular on since 1990, "S'Kiddle Bits" with Juno-award winning-host, Joey Gregorash. This downward spiral (which resulted in my relocation to Vancouver, Canada in 1994) in television quickly upturned several years later when, in 2000, the CRTC reinstalled it's Public Access policies once again. But it was too late for most of us children/family entertainers who had long moved onto better things. Thanks to television of the '80's and '90's, we were given an indelible mark on the consciousness of the public; it still amazes me to this day, how many Winnipeggers of certain generations still recall "Magic Mike's Castle", one of my three television shows. Back to counting all my blessings. If the face of Winnipeg television wouldn't have changed back in 1994, I wouldn't have been motivated to move onto other things. Don't get me wrong; for years in Montreal, Toronto, and Winnipeg I had gainful employment as a Graphic Designer, Cartoonist/Caricaturist, and Magician, all at the same time! It still amazes me to this day, that I was able to buy a couple of houses on my salaries from these vocations, but nonetheless, I'm still grateful. With the loss of the television programs, and several of my regular clients, it was as if the rug was pulled out from beneath me, and I was thrown off; normally I would have just substituted these clients for several others, but there was something about losing the TV-shows that threw me off; it was as if I had "lost my gimmick", so-to-speak, as I was the only local magician to have a TV-show, and also, I'm told, it was the world's longest, regularly-produced TV-show about magic in the world! So there was also a record there; but it still threw me for a loop, and desperately seeking a new gimmick, I wrote and recorded in 1994 my second album, "M'ystery", the follow-up to my 1990 self-titled album "Magic Mike" which sold out in Winnipeg. I recorded it and mixed it in 24 straight hours, no sleep, with dedicated friends and musicians who had stood by my side for 13 years. With this in hand and a van filled with my belongings, we made our way to Vancouver in September of 1994. My girlfriend and I at the time had paired down six rooms of furniture into a crammed mini-van along with our two cats, seeking our fame and fortune. In retrospect, I should have dealt with and healed the trauma of apparently losing so much, (the shows and clients) but I did not, and subsequently suffered for it, arriving in this sight-unseen, bright and shiny new town with a bad attitude consisting of anger, resentment, and defensiveness. I slowly healed myself, but then I was treated very poorly (with verbal abuse almost daily and threats of physical abuse) at a New Westminster market where I had set up my retail business. I was unaware of the unusually large amount of drug addicts and people suffering from mental illnesses who resided there. Knowing this helped me to keep some semblance of perspective and objectivity. A year or so later, I began to lose all of my family members who resided in Toronto and Montreal, including my dad and favorite aunt in 1995, and favorite uncles in 1996, followed by my mother and other family members a few years later. This all resulted in my redefining myself yet again, (I had to "adapt" numerous times before) but also to finding "the real me" for the first time. I began to turn inward once again for answers, and I've never looked back! What seemed like tragedy and loss eventually resulted in my growth into a Clinical Hypnotherapist, Doctor of Theocentric Psychology, International Author, and BlogTalk Radio Host/Producer. For awhile I was right "down in the trenches", helping to heal the local down-and-outers, while in reality I was also healing myself. Now 23 years later my "humanitarian work" is sincere, not just about myself hanging on for survival. Again, I'm grateful for this. If you want to learn more about myself as "Dr. Michael Likey", find me on Facebook and search me on Amazon. This book is all about Magic Mike Likey. In reference to that; part of my re-empowering myself and coming back to magic after a 10-year absence, (to study and get three Doctorates) I jokingly and semi-seriously said, "I AM Magic Mike"! This was after returning several years ago to Winnipeg for a couple of book-signings, ("The Science of the Soul") and having a close friend say to me, "Smile, your glow rubs off on people; you glow when you smile; you ARE Magic Mike!" I realized the "power" in that statement: the character of "Magic Mike" that I had created and brought to life on stage and on television brings light and sunshine to people's lives, through his corny jokes, wondrous magic, and music; it re-empowers others, so why not re-empower myself through the very character that I had created? Why not indeed! Thus, the title for this book was born, "I AM Magic Mike Likey!" to help to convey a little of the real magic in life that I've been able to experience, and hopefully to share with you to some degree. The various chapters in this book are in no particular chronological order, merely random musings of a mad magician! As a thought, idea, or remembrance came to me, I wrote them down. There is no rhyme nor reason to this book, outsiders will not likely get too much from it; Winnipeggers of "certain generations" most certainly will, and it's for you that I'm lovingly sharing my life as Magic Mike Likey! Purchase “I AM Magic Mike Likey! The Collector’s Edition” on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/AM-Magic-Mike-Likey-Collectors/dp/1539092550

[afteralliamonlyhuman]

A 2020 Recap

Oh, what a year it’s been. A year full of disappointments, at that. I thought I’d take you on a recap of what 2020 looked like for me. I know some people had it much worse, and I know some had it made. For me, it felt like the bad news was never-ending. This year really became a year that I was able to re-evaluate those who were in my life as well as what I wanted to do with my life. 2020 felt like just when you thought things couldn’t get worse, a platter full of bad news was served back to back just to make sure you knew that it could get worse. 

January I was still working a full time management retail job with odd hours, juggling my kids back and forth to my parents since my kids were not in school yet. In the back of mind, I felt mentally exhausted because I knew this was not something I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I got up for work everyday, grateful for the opportunity, but dreaded the everyday interaction of thefts, bad associates, and work drama. I began to feel guilty of the time I lost not being able to spend it with my kids or family because although it was only 40 hours of my life given to retail, one day I’d work 8-4:30 and the next 1-9:30. I’d have one weekend off a month and closed every other Saturday. The 40 hours felt like it stretched out to 50-60 hours and my social time was limited even more with the little friends that I had. Lately my anxiety started to creep up more often and lingered around longer than usual. I just couldn’t figure out what was triggering it. I couldn’t sleep well and my nightmares continued. 

February Maybe God knew how I was feeling so he had plans for me. For the second time in a row, I got laid off. I lost my job right before the world shut down due to a global pandemic, and this was even before I knew what was truly coming. I was devastated. I had my kids to take care of, the child support that was ordered from ex was inconsistent and my car payment was over $400, along with some credit card payments, insurance, and phone bill. I remember calling my ex-husband on the way home and crying to him, not even able to get a word out on why I was calling him. He just continued to ask me over and over again what was wrong. He was out of town at the time so I somehow convinced him that I would talk to him later. Right before I got laid off, I had hired his sister so eventually word got out and I’m assuming she told her family that I got laid off. I’m not sure til this day how word spread. I took a moment and did a hard reality check at this point. I could either cry everyday because life seemed to have shut me down in many ways up until this point or I could move on and keep trying because at the end of the day, would could I do to change the fact that it is what it is? I applied for numerous jobs. Everyday I logged onto Indeed and searched. I applied for entry jobs to management positions, to part time, to weekends, and full-time. Anything I could possibly get to somehow received a  little bit of my pride back as a single mother. 

March News started to spread about a new virus called Coronavirus. I didn’t know much about it at the time. All I knew was that it was spreading fast, it came over from another country, and it was high risk. Suddenly, we’re hit with a two week quarantine. Restaurants/bars, gyms, stores, and businesses closed down. The two week quarantine extended for a month. Toilet paper, hand sanitizer, disinfectant spray, and cleaning supplies became an all time high demand. Masks and gloves were highly recommended. I spent all day, everyday stuck in the house. Occasionally going outside with my kids to get some fresh air. My life was “normal” just a month ago, how come I’m ordered to stay home all of a sudden? A lot didn’t make sense at this time. School shut down in fear, hoping to return after spring break. Spring break came and went, and the superintendent made the announcement that school would be closed down and digital learning would take place for the remainder of the year. Parents panicked to find sitters because although majority of places closed down, some jobs were considered essential and they were still expected to go in and work everyday.

April I was still looking for a job. At this point, I had not heard back from any of the 100+ jobs I had applied to. Because of quarantine, all the businesses were closed down so I was basically applying to closed businesses. What a weird time. Although I was in this position, I was thankful of the time I was spent with my kids. I went from spending limited time and hours with the girls to have all the time in the day. I loved it. The one month quarantine extended to two months. Still, at this point, I felt like some people weren’t taking this virus seriously. The cases were updated daily and it continued to rise but it was mainly all in the bigger cities. Those who lived in the smaller cities still went about their days. All the necessities were still low in stock. News came out at this point that Lysol would not be able to come back up from their demand until 2021. I finally made the decision to go back to school. I got my paperwork ready and reapplied. I can probably find jobs that I can work but if it’s not something I’m happy with, I might as well take this time to pursue what I really want to do. I got back in. I got accepted and I was finally able to put my life back on track to finishing my dental hygiene degree.

May We celebrated Mother’s Day and my mom’s birthday. This was the first time since quarantine that my family came together. Yes, we broke social distancing rules, but we’ve all been home for months now and we all needed a little social time. From seeing your family every weekend or every other weekend to once or twice every few months was hard to adjust. My parents felt lonelier than ever. The grandkids weren’t able to see their grandma and grandpa for months. Again, what a strange time. 

June Summer was getting hotter and we were still stuck inside. I took my kids out daily during the evening to let out their energy. I ended up buying them both bikes so they could ride around the neighborhood while I walked. I gained quarantine weight. Not working and eating all day was definitely showing. Searching for work was still a weekly thing. We got a stimulus check and for those who were claiming unemployment got an additional unemployment check to help with bills. This helped me so much during times of uncertainty. 

July My brother and his family along with me and my two kids took a trip to Florida right before July 4th. What a sad summer vacation for the kids it has been to be stuck inside. We couldn’t even take them to go do stuff either because everything was still shut down at this point. We went to West Palm Beach, FL  and it was nice. The weather was perfect. The resort we stayed at limited their occupancy and everyone social distanced. Masks were required in common areas. The pool was refreshing and that’s where we spent most of our days. I remember when I was younger, I could stay outside all day and would get so dark. Now, all I want to do is just stay in the shade. So the kids got tanned, and I got sunburnt. Lol. At the end of the month, I took another trip with Cisco to Hot Springs, NC. It was still hot, but the views were nice and it was perfect to get away and just be one with nature. We hiked all day for a day and then went to visit Asheville. This is the most steps I’ve taken all year and my body was so sore.

August Finally, the month for school to start finally came around. I loved my kids, but I also was ready for them to finally start school. Hayden got selected to attend the public school’s pre-kindergarten lottery system and I was putting Emma into daycare so that I could also focus on my studies. All summer we were getting notified by the governor that quarantine would be extended. Fear settled in and they also pushed back the first day of school for our kids by 2 weeks. Hayden finally started school mid-August and she loved it. She quickly made friends and Emma adjusted to daycare so easily. This was when I realized that I now have two big girls. This semester, as my first semester back in 5 years, was intense. I had to register for 6 classes to be qualified for full time financial aid. Everyone called me crazy, and I believed it but I was determined to push through no matter what. After all, this was my decision and my future at stake. 

September I celebrated my 28th birthday with close family and friends. We sang the night away and it was just what I needed to blur out the last few months of my life in 2020. This was also the month where I cried the most about my love life. I was single and just accepted the fact that no one wanted to love me. Cisco and I went a few months without talking to each other. A guy I met on a dating app, who I believed liked me the same, stopped talking too. I remember staying up late one night doing homework and then getting a text from Cisco saying ‘just wanted to stop by and say hi’. I broke down. I replayed the song ‘Just About Over You’ over and over again thinking why he couldn’t just leave me alone if I were nothing to him. I wanted to leave him on read. But my heart took over my head and replied back to him.

October My little baby turned 3. I took her and all her cousins to paint pottery and they all had so much fun. Still in denial she’s getting so big. I look over at her right now while the girls are sleeping and she’s gotten so tall and so independent. Classes were getting harder and harder. I was so stressed. I was scared that I was going to fail my Anatomy Lab class. I just couldn’t understand the way she was teaching and then when we were tested, it was totally opposite of what I was learning in lecture. It was a hot mess. Halloween has become one of my favorite holidays. It doesn’t have anything to do with family time. Just dressing up as something else and candy, food, and parties. I finally got a call back from a job I applied to in June. It’s part time but I accepted it. Every month’s budget was cutting it close. 

November This year’s holiday season felt different. It felt eerie and not right because the government was encouraging us to not spend time with our families. And yes, of course I understood the reasons why, but the meaning behind the holidays contradicted everything. We had a small Thanksgiving dinner at my mom’s. There was a lot of drinking and my brothers ended up crying even though it’s usually me whose the crier when drunk. I’m not into political views but I felt a sense of relief when Biden won presidency. Don’t ask me why; I don’t even know why. 

December Hayden turned 5. Because of all the holidays and people traveling, the covid cases were increasing which caused school to close a week early before Winter break. Classes and final exams finally ended for me too. I ended up with a C, 3 Bs, and 2 As. I would say I did pretty well especially with all things considered. Cisco and I took a trip to Gatlinburg and then my family and I ended up going back a couple days before Christmas. We even experienced a white Christmas while we were there. It’s so beautiful to watch snow fall but definitely scary to drive through it when your car is not equipped to travel through it. My company shut down for two weeks during the holidays so again, I’m home with my children. It’s been nice to just unwind and enjoy quality time. I spent New Year’s Eve with Cisco and now it’s officially January 1, 2021. I’m so happy it’s a new year. I’m hoping and genuinely hoping for a better year. Full of love, money, prosper, luck, and good health. 

I hope your 2020 didn’t break you down too much. And if it did, I’m praying 2021 rebuilds you - emotionally and mentally. Here’s to a new year for this whole globe. Healing is sincerely all we need at this point. 

[lisarprahl]

Why I Became a CPA at the Age of 44

Hello. My name is Stephen Morano and I am from New Jersey.  I have been married for almost 22 years and have 2 daughters, ages 16 and 12.  I enjoy listening to music, writing, quiet time and craft beer. And I'd like to share my story about how I become a CPA at the age of 44.

  My long career in transportation and logistics came to an end due to the economic downturn of 2008. 

It was really hard to find a job after this.  I was applying to companies that, like every other company, were downsizing.  My job search at that time was one dead-end after another.

I thought about making myself more marketable, but I wasn’t sure how.  My wife suggested that I maybe attend community college to get a few classes under my belt.  We would live on one salary while I focused on management type courses to add to my current background.  It seemed like a great idea, except I never went to college before. 

  So, at age 37, I entered college for the first time. 

I was extremely nervous, but after the encouragement of my professors, it didn’t take long for me to build confidence and to realize that I can do this.  So much so, that I quickly decided to focus on a degree program.  

A requirement of my degree was financial accounting, and my professor would always ask me what I was going to school for and I answered him the same way each time: management.  He kept pointing out to me that he thought I would make a great accountant.  He would tell me that I was really good with numbers and he felt I was picking up theory quickly.  I would think to myself, accountant?  Sounds boring…I am used to working outside, being active, talking and laughing.  Accountants don’t laugh, do they?

  Another requirement was managerial accounting. 

It was here that I began to become interested in accounting.  I began to appreciate the logic and order of accounting.  I like logical and orderly things.  I also like writing with pencils.  I started to think that this accounting thing may be perfect for me.  I still thought I would end up back in my previous field, but maybe with an accounting focus instead of an operational one.

I graduated with an Associate Degree in Business Administration and decided that if I was going to pursue this career, that I would need to continue on to my Bachelor’s Degree.  I enrolled in a state college and took just about every accounting class available.  At age 41, I graduated with a Bachelor Degree of Science in Business Administration with an accounting focus.     

  Before I graduated, I interned in corporate accounting. 

I watched the external auditors come in and out, asking for stuff all day long.  I saw how people reacted to these auditors.  I saw their fear and thought to myself: I want to be one of those auditors.  After my internship, I applied to a local firm and it wasn’t long before I received a call for an interview.  It felt good hearing how my resume stuck out for many reasons, one of which was my GPA. 

I was hired under the understanding that to work in public accounting, I would be expected to obtain my CPA license.  I thought to myself: sure, no problem.  I was just excited that all my hard work had paid off…but it was actually it was just beginning.    

  In 2012, I began work as a Staff Accountant in the Governmental Services Department and worked on audit engagements. 

I worked for about a year before I began to think about my CPA journey.  After investigating many different options, I decided to watch a few sample videos of Roger.  I thought, this guy is someone I would hang out with, so how could I go wrong?  

My study habits were intense.  I planned the work, and worked the plan.  I took advantage of the study guides Roger had available.  I used the nine-month planner and finished on time.  I kept the same schedule each day.  I typically would study from 6pm until midnight each night.  I would take a little break to say goodnight to my wife and kids.  I took off one night a week, either Friday or Saturday but never both.  If there was something that I just could not miss, I would double up on a lesson if it didn’t line up with my one night off. This exam was no joke, and I had to take it seriously.  

  One of the biggest struggles for me during this time was that my daughters were young and didn’t quite understand what I was doing. 

They remembered me studying while in college, and wondered why I was still studying.  My wife was very supportive and understood the ultimate goal.  We did our best to explain to the girls that this was temporary.  My wife would jokingly say that she was a single mom.  For me, this was the commitment this exam required. 

  I began studying with Roger in the Fall of 2013. 

I took my first test in November of 2013 and my last test in July of 2014.  I can honestly say that Roger has a unique way of keeping all of this stuff interesting.  Everyone has their favorite study program; however, I cannot imagine going through this journey any other way.  If it wasn’t for the laughing while studying, I would have probably fallen asleep.

After passing all four parts, and because I was a New Jersey candidate, I had to obtain an additional 30 credits for a total of 150 credits before I could be licensed.  This was right about the time I was promoted to Senior Accountant.  So along with my new job responsibilities, came my return to school in September of 2014: full-time, at night, after work.   I remembered that I loved school, so I took advantage of this.  While earning my degree(s), I realized I also liked psychology, so I focused on different types of psychology classes and finished in two semesters.  I had my CPA license, in my hands, August 2015 at the age of 44.          

  In July of 2017, I was promoted to Audit Manager. 

I enjoy helping others at work with their journey as well.  I still talk to some of my accounting professors and hope someday to return to school for a Master’s Degree.  I would eventually like to teach accounting part-time at night.  I do not believe that any of this happened just because I lost my job in 2008; I would have eventually found another one.  I believe that all of this happened because I stepped out of my comfort zone to grow.

For every CPA Exam candidate out there, whether you've just graduated from college as an accounting major, or are looking to switch careers to become a CPA to improve your professional and personal life, know that you can do this. As Roger states, "If you study, you will pass." If you keep to your study schedule and have the end goal in sight, you'll be a CPA in no time. 

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Overcoming Obstacles: How I Passed the CPA Exam

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Student Stories

Feature on ACT Professors page 

from Accounting News https://www.rogercpareview.com/blog/why-i-became-cpa-age-44

[feamproffitt]

Should Young Professionals Rent or Buy?

Should young professionals rent or buy?

Navigating your way through the property market can be difficult. Especially amongst the stamp duty changes, the reality of the housing crisis and the ever growing list of up and coming neighbourhoods. But for the likes of young professionals, there’s the added debate of renting vs buying.

The internet is full of articles on the topic, written by people firmly sat on either side of the argument. In fact, we’ve even published two blogs on the topic in the past. One of which explored the mother lode of anxiety experienced by millennials, where the housing crisis was to blame. Another details why many young professionals aren’t buying anymore.

So, we decided to talk to some professionals. We conducted our own research* and asked, “Should Young Professionals Rent or Buy?”

Here’s what we found out.

Andrew Turner, CEO of Commercial Trust Limited Commercial Trust Limited is a specialist UK broker, who deals with three types of loans: buy-to-let mortgages, commercial mortgages and bridging loans.

When it comes to what is wiser, rental or purchase, in this current housing ‘crisis’, I believe it really comes down to the individual’s financial planning and personal future considerations. The housing market is suffering from a shortage of properties and increasingly higher property prices. However, I believe that buying is still a stronger proposal for young professionals, providing they have no immediate plans to move on. You are buying into your future in that location and although affordability will ultimately be the deciding factor, there are still many properties out there that are reasonably priced for first time buyers.

  Lyn Alden, founder of Lyn Alden Investment Strategy Lyn provides market research to individual investors and financial professionals.  Her work has been featured on The Street, Federal News Radio, Business Insider, and US News and World Report.

For a typical professional that starts a job in their 20’s, research shows that there’s a more than 4 in 5 chance that they will leave that job within five years.  The average worker now changes jobs over 10 times in the course of a career, which is significantly more frequently than in the past and affects people of all ages.

People interested in buying a home in their 20’s or 30’s should seriously consider how a job change might affect their situation.  Especially outside of certain cities, a job change in an advanced field may require relocation.  For that reason, renting is wiser until you’re confident that you’ll be in the area for a while, and even then, it’s not always the right choice.

One thing to keep in mind is that a home is an investment and should be compared to other investments if you’re considering buying one for that purpose.  Putting a down payment onto a home in exchange for lower monthly housing costs and the possibility of appreciation is one way to build wealth gradually, but continuing to rent and putting that same down payment into other investments like equities can result in similar returns over long periods of time.

  Timothy G. Wiedman, D.B.A., PHR, SHRM-CP, Associate Prof. of Management & Human Resources In addition to earning two graduate degrees, Timothy has also completed a certification in Financial Planning at Old Dominion University and taught a university course on Personal Finance.

As the cost of rental units continues to rise in many areas of the country while mortgage interest rates remain affordable by historical standards, we often hear that “it’s cheaper to buy than to rent these days.”  And while (in many locations) that statement may often be correct, potential first-time buyers should definitely consider the following aspects of becoming a new home-owner.

The Mortgage Deposit Required.According to a September, 2015 article in The Guardian, the median price of an existing home throughout much of the UK (excluding pricey London) was roughly £160,000. And most mortgage lenders generally require a 10% deposit, which works out to £16,000 for an average, median-priced home. So even if a home in a less-expensive area can be located, the deposit will still be a major consideration.  In fact, on its website, PricedOut.org.uk states that it can take 12 years for many folks to save enough for that deposit, and they also estimate that 3.5 million taxpayers are effectively priced out of the home-buying market because of unaffordable prices.

Upfront Fees. While these fees can reflect a wide variety of variables, they include items such as solicitors’ fees, valuation reports, Stamp Duties, etc.  These costs must be estimated and saved for in addition to the mortgage deposit.

Settling In. Your new home may look absolutely wonderful to you when you make your initial buying decision.  But is it actually “move-in” ready?  After I took possession of my last home, before even moving in, I replaced all of the carpeting, put in a new kitchen floor, and repainted most of the interior.  A few months later, I put on a new roof (after the old one began leaking — the home inspector had told me that the roof was on its last legs, so I wasn’t really surprised).  Shortly thereafter, I put vinyl siding over the old wood shingles, installed new gutters, downspouts and soffits, and capped the exterior window trim.  Later that year, most of the interior window treatments were replaced, as were the kitchen and bathroom counter tops.  Then came a new mahogany front door (with a frosted oval of leaded glass).  Get the picture?  (And I haven’t even mentioned replacing the 26-year-old furnace a year after that.)  If you’d formerly lived in an apartment complex that had a professional maintenance staff, much of this will be an expensive new experience!

Never-Ending Chores. If you don’t own a lawn mower, weed-whacker, hedge trimmer, various lawn & garden implements, a couple of ladders, a 50-foot garden hose, and possibly a leaf blower (depending on where you settle), you’ll start spending some of your “free time” at Argos spending money and making new friends.  And you’ll also gradually learn about minor plumbing and electrical repairs — and who to call when you can’t fix it yourself.  Maintaining a home is a never-ending series of chores.  Some folks enjoy the challenge, but others do not!

How Long Will You Stay? If you’re likely to move after just a few years, buying may not make sense.  Check the recent annual appreciation rate of homes in your area.  Then consider the fact that in the early years of a mortgage, you’re mostly paying interest — your equity stake doesn’t go up much at all.  Further, you’ll also incur moving costs if you relocate.  Will your home’s appreciation cover those items?  In some locations, it might after just a few years; but think about it up front if there’s some likelihood of a job-transfer in the fairly immediate future.  (Sometimes an apartment lease may have an “escape clause” if you get transferred; and even if your lease doesn’t include this provision, many employers will cover the cost of any penalties that you might have to pay your landlord for an early termination of your lease if they ask you to move to another company location.  Early in my business career, I was transferred several times.  I was strictly a renter back then, and that made each transfer-related move a lot easier.)

If you’re still convinced that buying is cheaper than renting (and can afford everything mentioned above), take the leap.  Over time, most homes appreciate; so, in the end, it’s generally not as expensive as it sounds.  Further you have to live somewhere; and unless you stay with mom and dad, it won’t be free.  I’ve bought and sold several homes and always came out ahead of the game — but I didn’t get rich either!

  Andrew Gardiner, CEO and Founder of Property Moose Property Moose is an online property crowdfunding platform that allows individuals to invest in property from just £10.

Ultimately, I believe it comes down to the individual’s circumstances. Buying may seem out of the question unless you have a large amount of capital to begin with, hold expert knowledge of the market and have the energy to manage the property. It’s this exact issue which Property Moose tries to solve. We’ve attempted to simplify, revolutionise and democratise the property market. Through the power of property crowdfunding, all you need is £10 to become a home owner and earn rental income. We hire local expert agents who manage the properties so that you can be a landlord without any of the usual chores. In addition, considering the lower entry point, you could spread your capital across many of our investment opportunities, thereby building a diverse portfolio. Like traditional property investment, your capital is at risk if you invest, however, we select our property’s very carefully in attempt to minimize this risk, though property prices can go up as well as down.

*Correspondence was secured via Help a Reporter Out (HARO) and took place over email.

Written by Jenna Kamal

Disclaimer and Legals

Property Moose does not provide any advice in relation to investments and you must rely on your own due diligence before investing. Please remember that property prices can go down as well as up and that all figures, rates and yields are projections only and should not be relied on. If in doubt, please seek the advice of a financial adviser. Your capital is at risk if you invest. This post has been approved as a financial promotion by Resolution Compliance Limited.

Property Moose is a trading name of Crowd Fin Limited which is an Appointed Representative of Resolution Compliance Limited which is authorised and regulated by the Financial Conduct Authority (no: 574048).

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