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omegawolverine · 3 years ago

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👀 mcc discourse? /gen

okay mcc discourse time everyone strap in

the three things i see people being pissed about most often are the lack of lgbt+ people in the event, the specific lgbt+ creators playing and, of course, technoblade being involved. so, let's break down why all three of these things are fucking dumb.

1) "there isnt enough lgbt+ creators".

this would be a fair argument that i could get behind...if not for the way mcc is set up for this specific event—and by that i mean it is a youtube sponsored event. the ccs involved need to have platforms on youtube to be able to participate to begin with, as it is a charity event. mcc doesn't have a lot of lgbt+ streamers involved this time around because a lot of those streamers straight up could not stream this event and scott literally said this himself.

on top of that, this isnt a "get invited and you can play!" event, it is a "you need to apply to be involved" event, meaning, if people dont meet the deadline, or they dont apply at fucking all, they cant play. that's not on fucking scott or anyone organizing mcc, that is on the ccs (if they even wanna be involved, i could not blame them for avoiding mcc after last times mess) who didnt apply in time/at all.

2) "there isnt enough diversity in the lgbt+ streamers" aka "im erasing people's identities and, again, disregarding the literal qualifications for this mcc which include having a youtube platform"

i keep seeing people bring up how every lgbt+ person in mcc is white and able bodied and neurotypical etc etc (which is an inaccurate statement anyways) as reasons why they "arent good enough" or they're bringing up how there "isnt any of [x] sexuality/gender involved" as if that's the organizers faults and i uh. i hate to break it to yall but, again, this is an apply to get in event. if these ccs that were "more diverse" (bc why the fuck are we referring to these ccs playing in fucking minecraft championship as some weird ass diversity characters instead of real life people who are more than their race, disability, etc.) met the requirements and were lgbt+ but just didnt apply, while a lot of other white, cis, neurotypical, able bodied, whatever the fuck else, did? yeah. nobody can change that. scott didnt just pick and chose who gets to play, there are literal rules for this event and also applications that are involved like?? hello????? and obviously i would love to see some more lgbt+ creators from different backgrounds with different identities in the cast, that would be awesome, but that is ultimately not up to the organizers. they cant force people to play. they cant skip people in the waiting lists. they can't have people who cant stream be involved in this mcc as their first event, both because it would be sad for them not to stream their first mcc and because it is a literal charity event.

and, to make things worse, a lot of people are saying there "isnt any trans people this mcc" which is just. a blatant lie. eret isnt cis and sqiashey is genderfluid, yall just dont like eret so you decide to refer to her as a "cis man" constantly, which is transphobic, and yall also dont know sqiashey so instead of doing research, you started running ur mouths and then didn't apologize when you got called on it.

like. even if eret was truly problematic, which i dont believe they are as they have apologized for every little mistake theyve made and dealt with the backlash from entitled little privileged teenagers online all while not complaining even the slightest bit, that still doesnt give you a right to misgender them and erase their identity as a non cis person entirely because you're mad over a fucking minecraft event like??? how fucking privileged you must be that this is what gets you heated. not any actual homophobia or transphobia, but apparently "lgbt+ people in minecraft not being diverse enough". choke.

3) "technoblade is a lesphobe, why is he in mcc"

tw on this section: i discuss my expierences with homophobia as an afab nblw briefly and reclaim the d slur (if you wanna read this section and avoid the homophobia discussion and/or d slur, skip from "as someone who is nblw" to "techno making a shitty joke").

all of techno's lesphobic comments are from 5+ years ago and were, at worst, jokes in poor taste. as someone who is nblw, i have had men follow me and my friend around and call us dykes for holding hands in a museum, i have had my family members harrass me for my sexuality and casually talk about how im gross and wrong for liking girls and i have been punished by literal teachers for showing "too much pda" with my past girlfriends despite the fact that ive never even kissed someone on campus before, just held hands and hugged. techno making some shitty jokes when he was a teenager years ago, while also having a plethora of examples of him being an lgbt+ ally, which does include lesbians, should not be treated the same way as literal bigots calling queer people slurs. and if you think it should be, you have had it fucking lucky.

yes, it is valid to be upset over these jokes, they're fucking weird and he shouldnt have made them, but to treat it with the exact same seriousness as a grown ass adult showing blatant homophobia in current times? no. fuck no.

extra notes bc there's some minor discourse points i left out: no, dream team shouldnt get to be involved in this event over other cishet ccs involved just because they have bigger platforms because this quite literally isnt about them, it's about lgbt+ people and they just didnt happen to get in. shut the fuck up. stop mentioning ant and velvet as people who shouldve been involved, they're quite literally together rn doing little daytrips and shit and they most likely dont wanna spend their time together playing fucking minecraft. also, stop saying techno should be replaced with ranboo (or anyone for that matter), it breaks ranboo's fucking boundaries and him donating 100k to the trevor project doesnt suddenly mean he gets to skip the mcc waiting list.

in conclusion: twitter stop whining over pride mcc, your privilege is showing.

(tagging @tauntwenthome bc you said you wanted to hear as well <3)

#mcc #technoblade #mcyt fandom critical #dsmp fandom critical #fandom critical #discourse #this was hard to write bc this situation is a pain in the ass to explain ajsksk #like specifically the 2nd section i kept rewriting and i still think it sounds confusing but whatever #mcyt #mcytblr #ask to tag #shit self #ok to rb #asks #ghcstbvr #magnus tag 💭#bangerz

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freebooter4ever · 3 years ago

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So ive alluded to but havent really talked about the emotional roller coaster the past few months have been (aside from complaining regularly about housing search, sorry about that)

When i was house sitting and staying at the artist's house on the hill back in october, i was calling nick a lot, like a few times a week i think, my only excuse being i was super lonely living there alone. And he started talking about us living on a boat together again. He's mentioned this before - i believe it was a daydream of his early on when we first met. And you know how i am with good storytellers. Complete sucker. I think it was like the second time we went out on a not-date, after wandering around squirrel hill / sitting in te cafe talking for like five hours, he just started describing how he imagined me on a boat. Obviously in a more eloquent way than how im making it sound.

But anyway it sounded like recently he got an offer to rebuild (and own) a 1950's wooden sailboat and so he was spinning these grand ideas of what adventures we could have, and that i should join him on the east coast and we'd sail all over, living and working on this boat. And im totally crazy because i actually considered it, seriously thought about it. Ive been hating my life here for so long, that an escape sounded ideal.

I knew i would never - im too determined to make my career work whatever the fuck that means. And i think i know that if i give up and leave this city now i will literally never come back because i discovered i kind of hate it.

Fast forward to thanksgiving - the news broke about WDI moving to florida. i didnt think about it until while on a walk i unexpectedly ran into an old friend who pre-pandemic worked for WDI here and in japan and he confirmed that, yes, ALL of imagin**ring is being moved. (also that yes its definitely a power play)

Like you all know how obsessed i am with living in glendale, i still remember how i almost cried even just driving THROUGH glendale when i first came to LA in 2018. Just seeing that name on the damn freeway signs. Id only ever read that name in countless books on imagine*ring and the Parks. I dID get to live in glendale for a few years, and let me tell you it never got old putting that city down on letters and stuff. It was like i was SO CLOSE to this weird nebulous sort of daydream ive had since i was 10. I had this idea that id go out to california and live like the people did in those books - living in this mysterious glendale place, traveling worldwide for research, spending lazy weekends in the parks studying and observing like walt used to do. Obviously that didnt happen lol.

But now with this news of the move to florida...ugh. I think i might go back and rewatch justin's old old videos about releasing childhood dreams so you can find something better. Because that just killed mine. I knew the corporate culture at the mouse was becoming...toxic. Rumors abound. But there's also enough good things happening around it that i thought maybe that would be worth it despite the shit. But now??? Ugh i have a few friends who spent some time as imag*ne*rs in florida...they hated it. Said it was like living in tourist land 24/7. My one friend hated it so much he moved back to nyc. Yeah. He gave up sunshine and working a dream job to go back to snow and cold just so he could live in a 'real' city again lol.

I dont know what i want to do anymore. Without imagin**ring i dont even know why im here anymore. The founder of my research project i worked in after college idolized WDI too. He actually got the chance to work with them on some projects for VR back in the 90's. He's got a plaque in w* d* world in florida with his name and his quote on it commemerating him after he died. There's a photo of me and my research team all standing around the plaque proudly. But he always insisted he was first and foremost an academic, even if his childhood dream may have been more along the lines of being an imag*neer. And you know the whole time i was working with that project, and kind of keeping in the back of my mind my own end goal of how i wanted to live this magical socal imagin**ring lifestyle...i always kind of thought that he was an academic because he couldnt have made it as an imag*neer, just wasnt at that level. I never stopped to consider that it might have been a choice. I feel a little shitty for that now.

Anyway how do you cure a broken heart over dreams? And the answer is tragically not going to be go escaping with nick on some boat...that most recent phone call reminded me just how much he randomly turns on me in anger and i can never figure out wtf i did. I may admire him greatly for everything he is in life, but we wouldn't last two days alone together lol.

#Journal shit

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pcygoldenchild · 6 years ago

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Love Me Right 2

⛓summary: You’re in your senior year of high school. But you oh so unfortunately had to move away. Which meant you would be spending your last year of high school at a new school. Luckily you’ve done some research on this school and from what you’ve heard, you’d be in for an interesting year.

⛓warnings: NSFW, adult themes (does not pertain to this part)

February 11th

Senior year is a lot more unfulfilling than you thought it would be. At least for you, you don’t have to try much. Academics have always been your strong suit so your mind wasn’t always preoccupied with work and studying. Which is a good thing because a lot of your time was now taken up by avoiding a certain group of assholes. It was really just a lack of space. You were in the same school, some of the same classes, the same cafeteria and food court. The same neighborhood and anywhere you went you felt like you were cursed to see at least one of them. By one of them, you mean out of the 9. Yes there were 9; all on the football team and all were annoyingly close. So most likely if you saw one, you saw all of them. But all of them weren’t assholes, just when they were all together, things got real...weird.

The three oldest of the group, Minseok, Junmyeon and Yixing, were incredibly sweet. Not to mention also very attractive but that just made them even more of a radar to avoid. There were two really quiet ones; but even though they were quiet and more reserved, you knew they’d stare at your ass. Those two were Jongin and Kyungsoo, also very attractive but a lot more mysterious. Then a cheery loud one who even in the first time you met him, was already super comfortable with you. Jongdae, the curvy smiled boy, was a pocket of laughter but a real loud mouth who didn’t filter his thoughts about you. And last but not least, your best friends, Baekhyun, Chanyeol, and Sehun. These were the ring leaders so to say. It didn’t matter if they were alone or with their team, they were assholes. And maybe you were being harsh. What qualified them to be assholes? Well a couple things.

After your awkward encounter in Romantic Universe Diner, you didn’t want anything to do with them. They turned you off from their actions alone and that was enough to keep your distance. Except, they didn’t respect that decision and felt that there should be a vote among the four of you. A vote. You don’t think they know how democracy works because this vote wasn’t fair at all; they’d win.

“All in favor of not associating with Moe in any way, say I.” Chanyeol proposed. You four were at your locker. They bombarded you and made a shield so you couldn’t walk away because they got used to your escape tactics. His hair was platinum silver now. Looked good on him. Not the point.

“I.” you deadpanned turning around to face them. But of course you were the only one to vote in favor.

“Three against one. You’re shit out of luck.” Baekhyun said taking your books. Sehun closed your locker and they dragged you to walk to the bleachers next to the field. It was after school and they had practice. No way were you watching that.

“What are you doing?” you asked.

“Bringing you to watch us practice for the big game tomorrow.” Sehun said behind you. Oh yeah, there was a Valentine’s Day game that everyone was basically obligated to go to. But not you. No thanks.

“And why on earth would I do that?” you said stopping making Baekhyun stumble into you.

“Because you lost the vote and we want you to watch. Why can’t you be our friend for like a couple seconds?” he whined. It was obnoxious and overly unnecessary. But it was also, like really cute.

“I don’t want to be your friend. In fact I don’t want to be anything to you.” you said calmly. You were honest. They were the average “fuck anything but still be praised” type of boys. And the last thing you needed was that drama or the drama of people thinking you’re a new groupie. Which was already so easy for Minsoo to assume. She would not get off your back. And her little posse were even more annoying than the boys. You don’t understand it. Her and her “friends” bond off of fucking and wanting to fuck the same guys. Why is that something to bond over?

“Oh really?” Sehun said. He pushed you a little to the wall while Chanyeol and Baekhyun followed.

“Now if I got this right, you don’t want to be anything involving being one of our ‘many girls that we take advantage of and don’t care for blah blah blah.’ Correct?” he said. Those were the exact words you said to one of your friends from your old school on the phone while you were at lunch. Did he hear you? You opened your mouth to say something but nothing came out. How would he have known that?

“Minsoo may despise your guts but she is also weary that you actually like us. She’s an eavesdropper; as expected. But that’s not the point. The point is, you don’t know us. You don’t know why we don’t care for those girls or what we do with them. The only way you’d know our true selves is if you get to know us. Do you really think, and I mean seriously, that we would try this hard to make you sleep with us or whatever you think we do? It’s not realistic.” Sehun said. That’s the most you’ve heard him talk since your first day of school. And he was a smart little shit. Because everything he said was right. You had judged them but for probable cost. They did in fact do things with girls for their own pleasure and then ditch them. You just didnt know what those things consisted of.

“So you can get to know us, be our friend and then decide if you want to hate us for whatever fake justification you have.” Baekhyun said pulling Sehun away. You didn’t realize he was directly in front of you until now.

“The thing is, where does this ‘friendship’ you speak of draw the line? I’m pretty sure Minsoo is your ‘friend’. I’m not the next Minsoo.” you said. You were lying. You weren’t that naive. You knew Minsoo was nothing to them. But you wanted to hear what they wanted from you.

“You are one naive little girl. You really think Minsoo, the hot bod and no brains, is our friend? You have this predetermined idea of us being idiots but we are far from it. We are teenage boys, moreso adults. We like a nice time but we draw the line there.” Chanyeol said. They had a way of talking to you that made you seem stupid. Or maybe you were just that. Because you did have this fucked up view of them that they seemed to debunk every time.

“You are our friend. Which means we will do friendly things. We sit at lunch and hang out at Romantic Universe. You come to our games and practices and we go to...whatever you want. We hang out at Chanyeol’s place, go to movies and arcades. And occasionally flirt and try our luck because we are honest. And in all honesty, you’re a cute girl with some zest to you. I can speak for all of us and say, we like that.” Baekhyun said pulling you to walk to the field. It was going smooth until the end. But even then, you were much more open to trying this ‘friendship’ now that there were rules in line. Rules to friendship was never a good thing but these guys were clearly trying and you were interested.

You didn’t say anything the rest of the way to the field. Baekhyun had his arm around your shoulders as you walked out to the bleachers where the rest of the team were getting ready. They all seemed happy to see you. But maybe they were just happy that they saw you with Baekhyun basically slung over you.

“I take that as a yes. Sit and enjoy the view of 9 men getting hot and sweaty to impress you. But mostly pay attention to me.” he whispered in your ear. You elbowed him in the side making him laugh. When you looked back at the rest of the boys, they all had this shit eating grin on their face. Like they knew something you didn’t. But you were going to trust that it was just your paranoia. You went to sit next to where Junmyeon was getting ready. Minseok was in front of you and he handed you a blanket. It was still winter but it wasn’t super cold. The sky was setting into night but not dark. You thanked him and Yixing gave you his padded warm gloves.

“Hey can I ask an obvious question?” you said suddenly. They all looked at you completely stopping what they were doing.

“Do you not have any girlfriends?” you asked. They stayed silent for a second and looked around at each other before snickering to themselves.

“No we don’t. But don’t worry, we’re working on it.” Chanyeol said walking to you and putting his scarf around your neck tucking you in the blanket.

“That’s not what I meant. I meant like friends that are girls. You all seem to be very...hospitable to me. I figured you’d have at least a couple girlfriends but I never see you with any. Unless you consider your groupies your friends, which I know you don’t.” you said. They were giving you things to keep warm when you didn’t even ask. It was sweet and they had to have gotten the kindness from somewhere. But there were no clues to where because you were the first you’d seen of them being that way.

“Our ‘groupies’? Moe, I don’t think you have the right view of us.” Minseok said.

“So I’ve been told.” you replied.

“I can only speak for myself here, but you’re the only girl in this school worth being hospitable to. Everyone else wants to be with us or, excuse my french, fuck us. You’re a fresh face and mind. You don’t seem the least bit attracted to us. Which at first was a little hurtful, I must admit. But now it’s just something to work on. You’ll come around.” Junmyeon said. And you understood. Girls would actually fight over them. You on the other hand just had a negative outlook on them and that’s what made them unattractive to you. But in all honesty, you were highly attracted to them. You just valued personality too.

“It’s not that I’m not attracted to you, I just don’t like assholes.” you whispered. That made them stop again and look at you.

“So you are attracted to us? I told you guys. We just have to show her us, the real us, and then she’ll come around.” Jongin said.

“I’ll come around to what exactly?” you questioned.

“Come around to liking us like we like you.” Kyungsoo said. He was sitting all the way to the right of you on the edge of the bleachers. He wasn’t even looking at you when he said it. You didn’t even think he was paying attention to the conversation.

“Well I do like some of you. I just don’t think it’s how you all claim to like me. How do you all like me? It can’t be that much, you don’t even know me.” you say. You think they only like you because ‘you’re not like other girls’ but there are plenty of girls that don’t throw themselves at them.

“I’ll go first.” Chanyeol said. You didn’t know this was a sharing moment for how they felt about you and neither did the other boys. But Chanyeol has a mind of his own.

“I like you in a lot of ways. You’re an open book but you still need to read the pages to understand the plot. So I plan to read those pages, learn all about you, see more of you, and maybe make you mine.” he smiled. And you actually could help but smile at the use of the analogy. He was smart with his words.

“She smiled. She’s falling for me.” Chanyeol said as Yixing pushed him away.

“Let’s not all confess our undying attraction to her. She just decided to give us a chance. Let’s not ruin it by being...creepy.” Yixing said glaring at Yeol. He peeked at you and you couldn’t help but smile at his cute dimple. It was obvious that the cutest guys were all together. But it wasn’t obvious as to why they were all so interested in you. You don’t think that would ever be answered.

February 14th

The night of the big game was hectic. The game itself was easy. Of course you won, the boys had superpowers on the field. After the game you and your new friends were supposed to meet at Chanyeol’s place. But it only turned out to be 4 of you. The other 5 guys were either occupied with a girl or off to sleep after the exhausting game. The guys didn’t like big parties and such so they usually just hung out together. But now they had you. And they couldn’t even try to hide their excitement if they tried.

“So we didn’t get to confess to you the other day.” Baekhyun said coming back into Yeol’s living room with some snacks. He had a pink bag in his hand too. So did Sehun and Yeol. You glared at them and tilted your head.

“Those are not what I think they are.” you say.

“They are exactly what you think they are if you think they are valentine’s day gifts from friends and or possible boyfriends.” Baekhyun smiled.

“Why would you give me gifts? You don’t know what I like. You don’t even have a reason to get me a gift in the first place.” you said refusing to take the three bags being held out for you.

“Moe, don’t be difficult. We got you gifts. Friends get eachother gifts all the time. Take the gifts and quit being stubborn.” Yeol said. His firm tone was unexpected but...well you all have heard him talk. His voice was a girl from God. You take the gifts and walk over to the couch to open them.

“If using my dominant voice is all it takes to make you listen, I’ll have to use it more often.” he said. Please do.

“From your boyfriend B. To my sweetheart Moe.” you said reading the tag on one of the bags. You rolled your eyes and opened the bag. Inside was a card and a box of your favorite chocolates. Which caught you by surprise. You don’t even like chocolate but he one type of chocolate filled with cherry jelly was your favorite. No way he could have known that. There was also a charm for your tennis bracelet. The charm was a letter B in a heart. These charms were expensive which meant he spent way too much for a gift.

“Baekhyun you should not have done this.” you said. He just smiled his rectangle smile and put it on your bracelet.

“Well I did. And it would really hurt if you didn’t wear it because I worked so hard to get it.” he said pouting at you. You knew he was lying. Like you, he was just another spoiled kid.

You went to open the card but he stopped you.

“You have to read all our cards when you are not with us.” he said. You looked at him confused and then at the other two who nodded in agreement.

“Just trust us.” he said backing away. You shrugged and moved on to your next gift.

“From your love, Yeollie. To my love Moe.” his tag said. You had to admit, they were cute and it was giving you little butterflies.

Inside this bag was another card and two candles. One was lavender purple and the other was white. They were both custom made. The lavender one had Chanyeol’s name carved all over it in pretty cursive. The other had ‘C&M’ caved all over it. There was also another charm with the letter C in a heart. He came over and put it on your bracelet.

“Very subtle Yeol.” you whispered. He shrugged and kissed your hand.

“Nothing is subtle about the way you make my heart flutter.” he said. You rolled your eyes.

“Guys I thought you said you’d occasionally flirt. This is not occasional.” you said grabbing Sehun’s bag.

“This is a special occasion. What better time to flirt than now.” he said walking up to you and sitting next to you.

“To Mrs. Oh. From Mr. Oh.” his tag said.

“Wow already married?” you laughed faking surprise. He laughed and watched you open the bag. Inside was another card. And his present was a journal. But this journal was extra. It was gold paged and a hard cover. The clasp to close it was a gold decorated leather clasp. On the front stitched into the cover was ‘Mrs. Oh” and on the lower back was ‘Mr. Oh’s special lady.’ You couldn’t help but smile and laugh. The book was beautiful and you were going to use it but the thought of his name on it and him calling you Mrs. Oh was funny and cute. He dug into the bag and pulled out, you guessed it, another charm; an S inside a heart and put it on your bracelet.

“You guys can’t be this in love with me already.” you joked. It was a joke to everyone but you.

“I thought we were going with simple gifts and the charms. The custom candles and Mrs. Oh? Really guys?” Baekhyun said changing the subject. You grabbed his hand and grabbed his box of chocolates and held them to your chest.

“Don’t worry Baek. These are very dear to me.” you said pouting at him. He rolled his eyes and glared at the smiling boys. They looked like they were about to fight.

“Hey seriously, I really loved all your gifts. It’s a little extra and a little territorial but I will allow it since it is Valentine’s day.” you said making them all look at you. You took a deep breath looking at your bracelet with its 3 new charms. You laughed at the sight.

“What’s so funny?” Chanyeol asked.

“You guys are actually crazy. I somehow went from avoiding you to agreeing to be your friends to sitting in your place accepting Valentine’s day gifts and being called your girlfriend or love or Mrs. Oh. It’s very funny.” you said.

“I think it’s just how things should be.” Baek said.

“We’ve been official friends for how long?” you asked.

“3 days, 4 hours and 29 minutes.” Sehun said. You all looked at him in surprise. He was counting. But front he looks of Baek and Yeol, they were all counting, they just didn’t want you to know that.

“Honestly, what is up with you guys? Counting how long we’ve been friends. I’m not some celebrity. And my original point was, we’ve been friends for...that long and your already trying to pursue me.” you said. There was a minute of silence and everyone staring between each other.

“Well...we really like you. That’s obvious. What else is there to say?” Yeol said cutting the silence.

“So, you only wanted me to be your friend to make me like you all?” you asked. That’s what it seemed. How else would they explain already confessing to you their “undying love” only 3 days 4 hours and 31 minutes in.

“No.” Sehun said. His voice was a little deeper.

“What he means is, We didn’t plan anything. We just...go as is. But we can’t help how we react to you. We do really like you. You’re cool and cute and mean to us. We just respond how we can to that. That’s literally it.” Baek said. His eyes were sincere. It’s like they were scared you’d leave or something. He placed his hand on your thigh and you followed putting you hand on his. Just to reassure him that it wasn’t something to be afraid of. You were curious of their intentions.

All of a sudden Sehun got up and walked out of the room. You looked to the other two boys but they just looked at the ground or at the ceiling in distress.

“What just happened?” you whispered

“Nothing.” Yeol and Baek said together.

#pcygoldenchild #exo fanfic #baekhyun smut #chanyeol smut #sehun smut #exo smut #sehun fanfic #chanyeol fanfic #baekhyun fanfic

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bisexualshrug · 6 years ago

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Uh has anyone given you the OTP numbers either SUPERIOR SHIP Paige & AJ? Cause if not I’m giving it to you. 11. 14. & 17. The ultimate lesbians.

11. Do they get married? Who proposes and how?

Okay so Paige and AJ are JUST friends. I mean, technically, they are BARELY even friends. So they are absolutely NOT in love. That’s ridiculous. Actually, Paige just finds AJ really annoying, but AJ like...won’t leave her alone. So, they hang out or whatever. But not because Paige WANTS to. It’s like...forced on her, alright? Back off.

So, anyways they’ve been kinda friends (NOT in love though) for years. And all of the sudden AJ is pestering her every day about how AJ is lonely and sad when she goes back home. And they should just move into together. Because Paige flies home with AJ more than she goes to her own home (Paige would argue this was not true...she could be wrong). And they are best friends so they would be great roommates. So, after weeks of constant badgering, Paige is like ugh okay fine whatever. Let’s live together. And AJ is happy and excited and kisses Paige on the cheek which is gross and DOESN’T feel nice.

And then AJ is like ok! Let’s pack your stuff and move into my place in Colorado. And Paige is like...don’t you live in New Jersey?? And AJ is like nope ! Moved to Colorado a month ago. Which is exactly when AJ started pestering Paige about moving into together. Which is weird. And makes Paige a little paranoid but whatever fine. Paige doesn’t really care where they live because they’ll be on the road most of the time anyway.

So they move in together in Colorado. And it’s kind of weird. I mean, Paige and AJ aren’t there often. But whenever they are, all the couples in the apartment complex wanna go out with them? And it’s very double date like but AJ assures Paige that everyone knows it’s not. But AJ always grabs Paige’s hand on the not double dates and clings to her and kisses her cheek again. Which is all gross and weird...but Paige just doesn’t push her off because hurting AJ is basically just kicking a puppy. And Paige doesn’t wanna look at her dumb completely NOT cute pouty face.

But everyone in the entire complex is ALSO really weird. They stop her in the hallways and are like “How are you and AJ doing? Still happy? Going strong?” And like...why are these people so intense about roommates?? Paige just lives with AJ. And travels with her. And works with her. And spends almost all of her time with her. But none of that involves sex so they clearly are not dating. And sex with AJ? Ew no no no. Paige is NOT attracted to her. She’s especially not attracted to AJ when she climbs into Paige’s bed at night in extremely tiny shorts and insists they need to cuddle and- whatever okay she doesn’t need to justify herself to you

But then she’s walking back to their apartment with food from AJ’s favorite takeout place one day and their neighbor stops Paige and tries to have a conversation with her. Which is mostly just annoying bc Paige is hungry and also AJ is waiting for her and this is supposed to be their last night at home before going back on the road. But anyways Paige is half listening to this lady when she suddenly asks “How is your wife doing?” And Paige is like great this woman doesn’t even know who she is. So Paige is like “Oh, you must be mistaking me for someone else. I’m Paige. I live in this apartment right here.” And the woman laughs “Oh yes. With your wife! Short one, quirky but very sweet.” Paige freezes and is like “excuse me a moment.”

And then rushes inside her apartment. AJ sees her and grabs the food and kisses her on the cheek. And Paige just stares at her in disbelief. And finally forces out “Why did our neighbor think we’re married?” And instantly AJ drops the food on the counter and freezes. Paige can already feel a migraine coming on. AJ slowly turns around and laughs “About that” and then makes a run for the door. But Paige grabs her by the waist before she can escape and wrestles her down to the couch.

And what follows is the most insane story Paige has ever heard in her entire life. AJ was...trying to common law marry Paige....behind her back. Without telling her!!! Without dating her!! AJ has been trying to MARRY her for MONTHS. She told Paige that she did research and in Colorado the requirements for common law marriage are cohabitation (check), a reputation of being married (check...thanks to AJ telling everyone in their apartment complex of their common law marriage), conduct which demonstrates intent (okay how the HELL did AJ file their taxes as joint MARRIED and Paige DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT IT), and the final one being consent. AJ said she had everything but the last one, which she was working on.

Paige sits on the couch in disbelief, frozen still for an entire 15 minutes. No movement. No speaking. Just staring at the wall. AJ is... she’s CRAZY. She’s INSANE. What the HELL is wrong with her??? Paige is just going to stand up, pack her things, and move the hell out of this apartment. Get the hell out of here while she still can...Wait why isn’t she standing?? GET UP. LEAVE. GET OUT OF HERE. FREE YOURSELF WOMAN.

But the only thing Paige can do is turn and look at AJ. Who is staring at her worriedly with tears in her eyes. Nervously playing with her hair, but eyes never wavering from Paige’s.

Oh God. Why. Why Why Why

Paige kisses her.

14. Are there any love rivals?

Paige hates CM Punk with a burning fiery passion. Because AJ has this almost hero worship, mentor relationship with him going on. “Oh Punk is so funny. He’s so smart. Did you watch his match last night? Pipebomb pipebomb pipebomb.” If Paige hears “Punkie” one more time she’s gonna punch a hole through a wall.

AJ does not do all of this on purpose because Paige is hot when she’s jealous. And Punk is definitely not in on it (he is. They’re both evil shits).

17. Describe or write a really fluffy scene.

I’m going to save writing an entire Paige/AJ scene later. Although that day might very well come. But not today. Because my marriage description answer was already too god damn long sdlsd

Here’s a description of After Paige Finds Out about the common law marriage. After Paige composes herself, she gives AJ a long, emphatic lecture about how it’s wrong to marry people without their permission and shouldn’t you already be aware of this?? And AJ very seriously listens to her the entire time, looking like she’s absorbing information she’s never heard of before in her entire life. And at the end AJ is just like “Gotcha. No more marrying you behind your back. Makes sense.” And Paige is like how the hell do I wanna kiss this girl right now and not get a restraining order??

But she DOES just want to kiss AJ. And sitting here thinking about it? Okay she also probably wants to hold AJ’s hand more and go on (real) dates and buy AJ chocolate on Valentine’s Day and not ever move out. All the gross disgusting couple stuff. Oh and sex. Yeah absolutely she wants sex. 100%.

So after finishing her lecture she asks AJ out on their first official date. And AJ squeals loudly and literally leaps in Paige’s arms, legs wrapped tightly around her waist. And Paige closes her eyes and tries to clear every single dirty thought out of her mind. Because they haven’t even been on a date yet, and Paige knows how to treat a woman.

So Paige plans out the date and they get ready in their separate rooms. And Paige snuck out earlier that day and bought AJ this comic series she knows AJ has been wanting for weeks. So she knocks on AJ’s room door and hands AJ the comics. And AJ geeks out and Paige is barely able to stop her from canceling the date to hide away in her room until she’s read the entire series. Then, AJ kisses her in thanks and Paige can feel herself grinning like an idiot. She schools her features back into place bc she’s not some schoolgirl with a crush here.

Paige takes AJ to an arcade and AJ is like an excited kid. Literally, she spends part of the night actually playing an actual child at airhockey and losing (on purpose to make the kid smile). And Paige plays games with her too but watches her sometimes. And it’s fun. But God...AJ is so beautiful. The night is perfect. AJ has a blast. And she’s carrying around the biggest armful of tickets in the entire place. She’s passing by kids who are staring at her tickets in literal awe.

Then...before they get to the counter. A fan comes up. She’s a little girl. Maybe around 7. And her Mom says she’s AJ’s biggest fan. And AJ grins so wide and shoves all her tickets into Paige’s arms. She scoops the girl up into a hug and excitedly starts talking to her. Even though they were about to leave, AJ plays a few games with the girl and then takes a picture with her. Gives her one last hug. Then walks over to Paige. She takes her tickets back. But then she walks back over to the girl and gives the girl all of her tickets.

The Mom is beyond thankful and the little girl looks at AJ like she’s her superhero. And then AJ walks with her to the counter. The little girl happily gets one of the biggest prizes on the shelf and thanks AJ with the tiniest, cutest voice Paige thinks she’s ever heard. The Mom and daughter leave after that and AJ skips back over to Paige happily and kisses her on the cheek. She asks if Paige is still ready to go and Paige just stares at her and nods dumbly.

AJ smiles and grabs her hand, tugging her out of the arcade. On the way back, AJ mentions how cute the girl was but says nothing else about it. Instead she talks happily about how much fun the night was with Paige and how perfect of a first date it was.

And Paige drives the car trying her best to listen. But the only thing she can think about is how kind AJ was to that little girl. And how she doesn’t think a single other person on the WWE roster (herself included) would have done all that. And AJ did it without a single hesitation. When she didnt have to. God help her.

This woman is absolutely crazy. But...maybe.. it wouldn’t be so bad to be married to her after all..

#bc idk what to tag them as #paige/aj #paige #aj lee #this is long as FUCK #damn #i love them #OG lesbians #rheaschild

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teen-titans-imagines · 7 years ago

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The Batboys As Dads [Headcanons]

Since me and @loudmouthwally have been screaming about dad! Dick and dami and such, I decided to write headcanons after she suggested it to me. As always: reader insert 😎

Dick Grayson

He honestly wasn't sure on being a dad

But when he laid his eyes on you, his daughter/son, he was absolutely ready to fight everyone who had any second thoughts about you.

Dick Grayson was ready to lay down everything for you. Even leave the mantle of Nightwing to someone else, because jesus christ, you were so important to him. (And still are)

Dick Grayson is a playful man, and if you think he wouldn't hit himself on the head with a skillet to make you laugh, you are very, v e r y mistaken.

As you grow up, there is one thing you learn about Dick Grayson.

Dick is a dad joke within himself.

Dad jokes for d a y s.

There is no escaping them.

"I had a scarecrow friend try out for stand up comedy, but the audience thought he was too corny."

"I'm calling the police on you for harassment."

Despite Dick being a silly dad, he is also very protective.

No boys/girls until you are dead.

Actually, no wait, nope, not even in the afterlife.

He will stalk you while on your dates, being as obvious yet hard to spot as possible.

Dick is the waiter, the random guy you bump into on the street, the carnival's janitor.

He's fucking everywhere, man, don't even try to kiss your date because Daddy Dearest will know. In a heartbeat.

#GroundedForKissingMyBoyfriendAfterFindingOutMyDadWasSpyingOnUsAftetHeFELLFROMTHEDAMNTREESCREAMINGBLOODYMURDER #IWANNANEWDAD #JASONBEMYNEWDAD

Despite all the crap he puts you through, Dick loves you very much and just wants the best for you, and that includes a happy life and childhood. He knows that you can lose a lot in a blink of an eye, and he wants you to be happy.

Yet, while he holds a superhero job, it can be pretty straining on your relationship as father and daughter/son.

Just know Dick loves you very much, even if he is a pain in the ass crack.

Jason Todd

If there is one thing Jason Todd does not know how to do, it is Parenting 101.

Please send help. He has no idea how to even wrap a diaper on a child, let alone r a i s e one.

Jason had to have Dick help him out a lot little.

However, after a while, Jason fell into a good routine after doing a lot of research and hands-on learning.

He totally owns one of those 'Parenting for Dummies' books but will completely deny any kind of knowledge about it should anybody find it (demon spawn from hell aka damian fucking wayne)

Spending time with you, Red Hood later. ALWAYS.

He honestly adores you.

You are his everything and if there's one thing Jason never thought he would have wanted until now, it is definitely you.

Instantaneous Death to anybody who even mentions your existence.

Jason Todd Will Not Hesitate, Bitch^TM

He actually snapped at a woman who said she could just 'eat you up'

"Yeah, well, we don't believe in cannibalism, so."

Jason definitely sings you to sleep, and is proud, even touched, that you will raise hell if he fails to sing you to sleep right on schedule.

As you grow and get into school, Jason is quick to teach you self defense.

And taught you that all boys had a contagious virus and to punch any that tried to kiss you or hold your hand. (Female)

And taught you that girls were the devils spawn and were to be avoided at all cost (Male)

You once got suspended for calling the teacher an 'asshat'. Jason was lowkey sort of proud. Dick wasn't amused.

You have a white streak in your hair, and when you need to be with your father, he will play with that lock of hair.

You and Jason are exactly alike, with some different attributes. But that doesn't make you any less of a Todd.

Your damian's favorite. Just saying.

Tim Drake

You were definitely not what Tim Drake was expecting.

But definitely everything he wanted.

If there is one thing you both know how to do, it's complain.

"Oh my god, I did literally everything the books told me to do. Why are you still c r y i n g???"

"...WAH-"

*slams head into desk*

Tim swears that if he wasn't a coffee addict then, he fucking is now.

No sleep. At all. You give him too much shit.

Jason thinks it's hysterical because you seem to be Karma in a onesie for all the times Tim was a little shit to him.

Tim loves you to the moon and back, but you never fail to irk at least one of his remaining nerves that still works.

P r o b l e m a t i c C h i l d r e n

Yes, that means Tim and you.

Did he give you a bath just now? No the fuck he didn't. Did he just clean the high chair? No the fuck he didnt, bitch. Did he just change your diaper? Come back, bitch. It's a shitstorm in here, and you're in the eye of the hurricane. Gas mask it up, son.

As you grow up, Tim wants you to get out there and do whatever. He's slightly not ok with you dating, but don't think he won't do at least 15 background checks, stake outs, securing the perimeter, interrogations, whatever. Each. 15 each.

You are a computer genius just like him, but don't spend your time on the computer all the time. Mostly just to play games here and there.

As you grow in school, there is not a single day that goes by that you absolutely loathe it.

Honestly

Why cant you just homeschool. We have the capability too.

"Who even needs human friends? Uncle Damian is doing just fine with his animals."

"He also has homicidal tendecies, so. You're gonna get some human interaction whether you like it or not."

Honestly, you and Tim butt heads all the time, but at the end of the day, you are his flesh and blood, and he will protect and love you till the world stops turning.

Damian Wayne

Let's be honest: Damian Wayne would be the most worried and/or scared person on earth if he found out he was gonna be a dad.

All these insecurities about his past, the bad memories, all of it coming back to haunt him as he thought about his child.

Damian was not ready at all.

He was honestly very weary of you. Since he didn't really get along with children, there was no way to explain to him how to raise his kid for the next eighteen years.

He realized that when he held you. Kinda like an 'aha' moment, but with an 'oh shit' instead.

After Damian warmed up to you, though, he was Dad to the Max. Spin the fucking wheel to jackpot.

Damian has very high expectations for himself as a dad. He needs to be on top of the mark at all times or he is sure he has failed you.

Damian is a perfectionist, so if he doesn't get you to calm down after screaming bloody murder on the first try, he literally wants to stab something because wtf he was sure he was doing this right.

Damian sings you to sleep. Dami has the voice of an angel when he's quietly singing and it's soothing as fuck. Never fails to make you sleepy. Add in a bit of bouncing while leaned against his shoulder and it is lights o u t.

Damian is a very teasing father, despite how serious he can be. You are the only person who he shows his soft, relaxed side too. You are his everything and he lets you know that shamelessly.

Damian will kill anybody who even dares to mention your name or make horrible implications about your existence.

That is his child and he will fuck someone up if they speak wrongly of you. Talk shit, get hit, bitches get a fucking katana to the eye.

Definition of the meme "Don't talk to me or my son ever again."

Damian Wayne Will Definitely Not Hesitate, Bitch^TM

As you grow up, Damian makes it crystal clear.

NO DATING AT ALL.

Damian is protective as fuck. He needs to know where you are, where you are going, who is going with you, who is all going to be there, how long is it gonna be, how long are you gonna be driving there, are there gonna be any boys present, Drake, would you finish the damn background checks already???

Damian is just like Dick: not even in the afterlife or the bullshit after that.

You are very much like Damian. Practically a spitting image. It makes Damian feel proud because of the Wayne Legacy that you might keep up, his ego, and the fact that his child is a badass and looks like one too.

Damian and you are not perfect, though. You two often get into arguments about certain things, usually the littlest. One of the things you two often fight about, however, is the mantle of Robin.

Huge no-no.

Noooo. No no no.

There is no way you are becoming Robin. You are his baby and he is NOT going to let some STUPID costume ruin that for him.

He can be very cold, even to you at times, and since you didn't inherit his amazing lack skill of patience, you are often calling him out on his bullshit and his attitudes.

Seriously. Who even is the adult here anymore.

You are taller than Damian. It infuriates him to no end.

"Dad, how's the weather down there?"

"gROUNDED."

At the end of the day, Damian loves you dearly and you love him dearly as well. There is never a dull moment between you two and it makes for a harmonious atmosphere. Even if you can be a pain in each other asses, Damian is sure he would be lost to the world of familial love had it not been for you.

You are his rock and he is your oasis in a barren land. Family always, always matters to you both.

#batboys #dick grayson #nightwing #jason todd #red hood #tim drake #red robin #damian wayne #robin #batman #not teen titans #dick grayson x reader #jason todd x reader #tim drake x reader #damian wayne x reader #dick grayson headcanon #jason todd headcanon #tim drake headcanon #damian wayne headcanon

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whimsically-ominously-auspice · 4 years ago

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I never reapplied.

I didnt want to.

Its so stupid. This was a fucking bitch that should be shot in the face that denied me.

And I'm super flexible but that don't mean I'm okay. I was in physical therapy and the doctor was all oh you're okay when I did a normal and correct movement and my back popped and I couldn't walk for over 7 weeks without extreme pain that hurt really bad.

Fuck them. "Its free money"

So?🎁📱 i don't care. I don't what to do it

I had to see a therapist for 2 and a half hours and then cried in my car for 45 minutes after bawling my face off

So really they just fucking do this and do that and fill out paperwork that hurts your back amd neck for literally 7 hours AFTER your stupid lawyer had you on the phone for almost 4 hours filling out the WRONG paperwork and waiting 6 months to tell you

So you fire the retards and I'm no longer elgible for another lawyer because I fired one. And they don't care why.

Then they say its impossible without a lawyer.

So then spend 5 hours explaining to someone that can never understand how you feel and its so ubsurd that anyone could even live still with so much pain.

Or spend 7 back breaking hours on paper and pen to be told no.

After then going through all kinds of bull shit. Tests and bull shit that is SUPPOSED to cause you pain.

So I never appealed and I never reapplied.

And I don't even fucking talk about it.

Usually hes nicer about it and says he will help me. But. Seriously. I don't want help. I don't want to do it.

Like a fucking lab rat. Thanks for the free research. No we arwnt going to pay you

THEN on top of that I have to fight for my justified application date of AUGUST 2015.

They said it was May 2016

Really? That's like a whole fucking year.

$897 x 11.

And I only get SSI because I was short 6 months. But I had a cyst in my knee and I literally couldn't walk. And I had to use a wheelchair.

Try being a substitute on a good day

Try being one in a wheelchair. Try having extreme back pain and using a where chair. I mean fuck y'all. Y'all don't know me. I'm not fucking doing it. At some point in our lives we need fucking help

And we should get it

I asked once. I'm not playing their fucking games.

I'm tired. The government? Thanks to them I didn't even know I was adopted nor my real fucking birthday

I'm only 35! Not 39!

Not that it fucking matters. People 86 years old get around better than I do

Alli can say is he's lucky Denise is still alive so she can clean and cook.

My parents are both dead.

When I was a kid. 2 years old and 9 years old

I was an orphan.

They don't give a shit. Denise lies about when I was born. How she gave birth

I was born from a Petri dish.

Whatever. Fuck people. Just leave me alone.

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tumblunni · 7 years ago

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Okay, kinda TMI talk here about period problems and Bunni Being Worried And Dysphoric, blablabla I’m just having a huge stupid panic moment right now cos I read some internet medical articles and LIKE USUAL I’m being all ‘oh god i probably have the worst case scenario disease on the list, I’m gonna fuckin die’ even though I literally have never been right about that even ONCE when I’ve done it. Still, it sucks having a stupid anxiety disorder cos you can just feel your body throwing you into panic attack mode even as you are rationally saying to yourself that this worrying thing has a 0% chance of happening. Its impossible to just choose to not be afraid of something... *sigh*... SO YEAH ANYWAY UMM Don’t want to worry anyone, I’m totally gonna be fine and I’m just being irrational mess about something that’s probably gonna be a super easy solution once I see the doctor. I’ll just book an appointment tomorrow or later this week, no biggie. And I’ll write all this stuff down so I can avoid freaking out and crying over how embarassing Vagina Health is when you’re trying to ask your cis male doctor about it and you’re a trans person who just wants to stab themself whenever they think about this goddamn Wrong Organ. like seriously, the biggest comfort I am using right now to come down from this panic attack is ‘hey, if it IS a big horrible cancer tumour, then at least it means they cant stop me from getting a hysterectomy now!’ :P so umm anyway that was probably too TMI already but I’ll put the more TMI stuff under the cut

OKAY! SO! I’ve suffered from REALLY HORRIBLY BAD periods for like.. ever They usually had an issue of being way too short but also WAY TOO POWERFUL. I’d have just a one day absolute burning pain blast where I would literally be unable to walk. LITERALLY BE UNABLE TO WALK! Like, I COULD NOT STAND that my dad was just telling me ‘;you’re lying, you’re exaggerating, its just cramps’ when the pain WASNT EVEN THE GODDAMN CRAMPS. I got fucking stabbing pain in my lower back for no damn reason, was inexplicably constipated and throwing up, got a huge hot-and-cold-flushes fever, complete muscle weakness in my legs which made them fucking shut down, and like.. LABOR SYMPTOMS. Its this weird horrible downward pressure pain in my pelvis and I was just a goddamn kid so i was like.. ‘i cant even tell if this is part of the constipation’, i would be spending five hours on the toilet desperately trying to shit out a shit that didn’t exist, as my body spasmed itself to death forcibly ejecting out way more blood than I ever thought I even had. I It took me so long to find out that that wasnt normal for a period?? That this didnt happen to everyone???? And cos its SO GROSS AND EMBARASSING to talk about these particular symptoms, I didnt tell anyone. Even when i finally was able to get some pain medication from the doctor, I just mentioned the abnormal amount of bleeding and pain, not the weird ‘wtf my bowels just stopped working as if my ovaries are constantly punching them for 24 hours’ part. Seriously just fuckin.. so degrading and disgusting.

And i was a fuckin 13 year old kid, this just abruptly started in my second year of having a period, and my dad was a sick fucker who ‘didnt believe in doctors’ and didnt believe i was telling the truth about my symptoms. So I had to live FROM 13 TO 17 without EVEN KNOWING THAT ASPIRIN AND IBUPROFEN EXISTED! i was going through all of this without even the basic pain medication most people have for normal periods! Once monthly I would BEG GOD TO LET ME DIE Seriously i would spend THE WHOLE 24 HOURS screaming in horrible pain on the floor that gradually got worse until I finally couldnt move my legs and passed out from exhaustion. And all i could do was hope that I’d get weaker each month and pass out faster, cos seriously being able to sleep through it was THE BIGGEST BLESSING EVER like DEAR GOD like ONCE I was able to get to sleep during the point where it was milder pain and then when I woke up it was already over and AAAAAAHHHHH I got to go a full two months without feeling that death madness again and seriously fuckin.. how the fuck could my dad look at this small child screaming and vomiting and sweating like I was in the sahara and gushing blood from every oriface cos i fuckin VOMITED SO HARD I VOMITED BLOOD and somehow still think I was just ‘making it up’

god one of my worst memories was how I had this huge horrible period death attack in the middle of school and my poor teacher was trying to comfort me and trying to call my dad to pick me up, and he just Did Not Give A Shit so the teacher tried to drive me home himself and just.. god I was so happy even as I was dying just cos I got to meet ONE PERSON who had sympathy for me and even actually said ‘hey you should see a doctor’. And all i gave him in return was throwing up in a trash bin for an hour in the back of his car, and then he had to meet my awful father and have a door slammed in his face. And then as soon as he got me inside the house dad just hit me and screamed at me for ‘embarassing him’ and ‘ditching school’ and man the only good side effect of being Fucking Dead On The Floor Already is that I did not feel a thing of it and barely even managed to hear a word he said. I think he just gave up cos seriously i wasnt even fuckin moving, i guess the fun goes out of beating your kid when they’re too fuckin stoned on their own vomit fumes to even be able to cry anymore. Oh and my other Even More Worse memory was when I missed the chance to see Howl’s Moving Castle cos of this shit. I saw like the first twenty minutes of it before my period hit while I was in the middle of the theater and then i had to spend three hours crying and puking and bleeding and laying on the floor in a pool of my own vomit in a cinema bathroom while my dad screamed at me as if i was purposely faking just to embarass him. Like seriously dude?? BASIC LOGIC, PLEASE! he was CONSTANTLY accusing me of doing really horrible manipulative things all the time, as some sort of twisted excuse to hit me and pretend i was an evil fucker causing every problem in his life so he didnt have to feel guilty about doing it. And it NEVER MADE ANY GODDAMN SENSE! Even if i WAS an evil monster, what would that evil monster’s MOTIVE be? Why would i constantly do these evil things that serve no purpose except to get myself half killed by my dad? Why would I ruin a cinema trip that I asked to go to, to see a movie I waited all year to see??? And the most vivid disgusting part of it all was when he walked in and saw me like that and I LITERALLY ASKED TO DIE, and he LITERALLY LAUGHED. I begged him to call a doctor, he laughed and said I was exaggerating. I begged him to call an AMBULANCE, he laughed harder. I told him to his face that I wanted to kill myself just to make the pain stop, and he acted as if it was the funniest thing he ever heard, turned around and left and watched another movie. The poor cinema staff were left taking care of me while he ignored me, he wouldnt even take me home, he was just like... waiting til he finally got bored enough to do it. His biggest concern was ‘eww you made me walk into the girls’s bathroom’... I’m never gonna be able to stop remembering that, I’m never gonna be able to deny how absolutely certain I was that I’d rather end my life right there than live this nightmare for another month and another month for like fuckin 30 or 50 years. God I wanted to kill myself A LOT when i was with my dad, but this one was the worst cos for all I knew I’d be stuck with this pain forever even if I managed to escape him. I was so fucking ignorant! I didnt even know there was easy to acquire pain medication you could buy in any supermarket across the world! I mean, I still have the problem of my period being more severe than expected and all, but the meds at least made it NON SUICIDAL LEVELS OF PAIN. And god I once wanted to kill myself as a young child because I didnt know those existed. And I didnt know that transgender people existed or that there were words to put to my other feelings of disgust about having a period. I may still be depressed in a lot of ways, but I’m living a way better life now!

So umm yeah anyway my current worry today is because my period hasn’t ended for like 2 or 3 months now. I can’t even pinpoint the exact time it happened, cos it started with just light spotting and my period coming a few days late every month for like a year? and then it would last longer, and sometimes I’d get a small bit of bleeding suddenly starting up five days later and ending within a few hours. I sorta didnt think much of any of these symptoms and i cant nail down exactly when it just increased so much that it became this noticeably constant. And its REALLY weird for me, cos also all this stuff came along with my period not hurting as much?? And now for the last month i haven’t felt any pain at all, so I cant even tell which part of all this bleeding was the actual period. And I’m bleeding way less than usual, its just... constant. Its not even enough to be a big problem so I didnt wanna tell anyone and be a bother, its not like I’m losing blood enough to get light headed, its just annoying having so many pairs of underwear ruined and feeling more dysphoric 24/7. And it makes me pretty anxious cos I didnt know what was causing this and whether it was a symptom of some bigger problem- like, it doesnt hurt but maybe its a sign i have fuckin death doom cancer or something and its suddenly gonna start hurting any second now???

So yeah, today I finally stopped being anxious and decided I’m gonna call a doctor next week, and did some internet research to see if this is serious enough to really call the doctor. And cos I’m dumb I panicked thinking of the worst case scenario, but also doing that research kinda cheered me up cos now at least I know an explanation for why the symptoms seemingly got worse on random days, and like.. this isnt an impossible thing. Cos seriously, yeah, raised in a household with No Doctors Ever. i dont know very much about medical health, when this first started happening i freaked out cos i had NEVER HEARD of bleeding outside the regular monthly cycle and from all I knew it was PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE and I’m PROBABLY DYING xD But no, apparantly spotting and mistimed periods and going one or two weeks of constant bleeding are all completely natural variances that just happen, and you dont even need to call a doctor for that. I just need to call a doctor cos its been happening a bit more often than that, they say up to a month is a normal amount. And apparantly the vast, VAST majority of conditions that cause constant period are not remotely life threatening, the worst possible scenario is becoming infertile or just.. having to continue experiencing mildly annoying bleeding a lot. Apparantly a lot of people choose to not have an operation cos they don’t wanna lose the ability to have children, but fuck I’ve been hoping to lose that thing FOREVER, jesus christ! damn docs won’t let you have a hysterectomy ‘without reason’, like seriously why is ‘i dont want to have children’ not a reason?? and why is ‘i have never had sex and never will have sex’ not a reason and also why is ‘i’m nonbinary transgender and would like this surgery even though i don’t want genital surgery’ not an option seriously MAN PLEASE can I at least go on hormones doc. seriously everyone is being all ‘well treating your ptsd and depression is a bigger priority right now’ and i mean ITS NOT LIKE THERE’S A REAL DEADLINE FOR WHEN THAT’S GONNA END and DYSPHORIA KINDA DOESNT MAKE IT ANY EASIER gahhhh god i really REALLY hope they let me have a hysterectomy i am gonna be SO DISSAPPOINTED now if it turns out this ovary failure is not the particular sort of ovary failure that requires removal of ovaries. plz kill them. pliz mr docter. they haf plagued my lyfe 4 too longe. XD god, sorry, like I said I’m just really dysphoric talking about Vagina Health Stuff so i’m getting a bit irrational and ranty. Its just like that ‘please can i skip the middle man and get to the end of the transition already’ feeling. I know it would be stupid to not listen to my doctor’s advice on the subject. Tho I do kinda feel like everyone is just patronizing me and doenst think that nonbinary really exists, i’m still trying to get my support worker to stop calling me a girl... MAN IM GOING OFFTOPIC TO A WHOLE OTHER ANXIETY HERE

Anyway! Researching into possible causes of it! It’s entirely possible i may have Adenomyosis, which would ironically mean I have an excess of estrogen in my system and am like.. Too Female To Female. I’m gonna fuckin cry if its this, that’s like the biggest fuckin sign that your sex doesn’t have to align with your gender! or lol maybe god is trying to compensate, i just imagine its like throwing too much sugar into a cake to try and make up for it tasting like shit. sorry dude, woman machine broke. BUT I don’t seem to have like a huge amount of symptoms for that one, aside from just the excess bleeding outside of my cycle. So I’m leaning more towards the ones that also include back pain and uhh.. gross bowel issues of embarassingness. It might be that I was always showing preemptive signs of one of these conditions!

One other that it could possibly be is Endometriesis which is a really fuckin cool sounding word but impossible to spell, lol. Apparantly its this TERRIFYING CONCEPT where your uterus is like.. a tumour in your gut. For whatever reason there’s uterine tissue growing in your intestines, stomach or other butt related tubes. I dont wanna read more about it cos its already making me terrified and anxious, so I dont even know HOW exactly that works. I mean is it like there’s a big ol hole stabbing through your organs connecting two unconnected things together?? Cos if so, I cant understand why its saying that its an easy operation and a never fatal condition! So I’m assuming maybe its more like everything is still separate but like.. the composure of the cells in your intestines is wrong? There’s like a tiny vestigal lump of uterine lining tissue in your stomach lining instead? i guess maybe they’re somehow vaguely related, so like.. if the human body begins from stem cells that can grow into any other cell to make a full human, it would seem entirely plausable that rather similar organs or skin thingies could accidentally form all vice versa. i guess thats also the reason for mutations like people growing an extra finger? I had a friend who had two extra fingers at birth, actually! I felt really sad when she told me about it, it was like years after we met that she felt comfortable enough to tell me about where her hand scars came from. i just remember i felt SO CONFUSED why she’d even think that like.. she had to be super certain i was a good person who wouldnt make fun of her. Why on earth would you mock someone for something like that?? How many other people must have treated her like shit if she feels this ashamed of her own hands?? And I felt really sad that she had them amputated too, I just find it a bit disturbing and surreal that there’s this societal thing of giving extensive surgery to very young children to ‘correct’ something that’s completely harmless just because it ‘looks wrong’. i’ve read stories about stuff like a child having like a split arm, an extra arm attatched at the elbow. And that particular operation to ‘correct’ it literally made the kid lose all ability to use both arms, just so they could have one ‘normal’ looking nonfunctional one. Thats messed up! Its EVEN WORSE that this happens the most commonly with intersex conditions, its invasive GENITAL surgery on newborn infants and even assigning them a random gender based on whichever form of genitals was easiest to ‘recreate’ with plastic surgery. These poor kids dont even get to know about what happened to them until they grow up and uncover this horrifying pandora’s box of medical files...

Oh, and speaking of intersex conditions, another possibility is that I might have PCOS, which is like being intersex in hormones but not outer genetalia. But I’m not sure about it cos I don’t have a lot of the more visible symptoms of it, aside from adult acne and ‘weight gain' which is.. well im pretty damn sure I gained this weight the normal way instead XD It also says that unusual hair growth might be a symptom, but it doesnt seem I have it in any of the places that’re common for the disease. I’ve had a weird thing of suddenly gaining light spots of hair on my belly and neck in the past few years. Its weird cos it really is just spots for the neck, its only growing in the right side in a little circle. i dunno what’s up with that! It sucks cos I really would like to be able to grow proper facial hair, I’m only able to do a very spotty mustache that just makes me look even more like a woman I think. i just look like an ugly woman, I feel like everyone can instantly tell I’m DFAB and they’re just laughing at me for this one failed attempt to look masculine. Also it fuckin sucks being overweight cos binders don’t work as well! They’ve gotta be wider to fit around a bigger body of course, but that means its hard to find the right size that’re be tight where it counts withough being tight on the shoulders. I think my current one is too baggy, I can’t stand even looking like a normal dude of my weight level, i cant stand even having regular fat guy ‘moobs’. I WANNA DESTROY THEM ENTIRELY!! Also, incidentally, I’m kinda terrified the most of being diagnosed with PCOS just cos it’d make my dysphoria worse. It’d kinda make me worry that maybe my identity is invalid and I only feel this way cos I have this hormone problem, and I’d probably refuse to take any treatment just in case it somehow cures my transness :P

The one that currently seems most likely is ‘uterine fibroids’. Apparantly its a non cancerous form of tumour that’s so small that its not remotely damaging, and surgery is very easy and non scary. The problem is just that you have so many of these small things slowly stacking up over the years, and being hard to spot until its already gotten bad. Plus even a small thing can be very painful when its in a very sensitive organ. I’m thinking its probably this cos they mention specifically lower back pain and constipation/other bowel problems. The endometrisis one would also explain the constipation during periods, but this one has a wider range of very specific symptoms that all seem to match.

Anyway, writing this up has helped distract me so I can calm down a little and wrap my head around all this. I just hope I can have enough courage to talk to the doctor about it and hopefully find out what it actually is. Oh, and a random tip I learned! Eating too much sugar increases menstrual bleeding! That was what was confusing me about my symptoms seeming to worsen out of nowhere on random days. I was super worried!! I guess the change is just more noticeable than it would be on my regular period, cos this one is lasting so long. I tested this out today by chugging one of the super grand milkshakes from that cool midnight milkshake takeaway shop, and I started getting the big ol scary clotty giant bleed within two hours. Waited a while til it stopped, drank another sugary drink, happened again! Definate correlation! I’m kinda relieved cos this definately proves it’s a period related problem, I’m not bleeding from like an exploded organ or something. This is definately specifically the ol menstrual blood, and I dont have some horrifying sudden septic wound in my vag out of nowhere. Tho seriously i dunno why I was worrying that cos its not like I’ve ever had sex, where would a wound even come from?? I guess I was just going nuts back when I was all uneducated and assumed it was Literally Impossible to have a period that lasts too long. Mannnn talking about this is SO GROSS I’m like cringing into the ninth dimension just from saying the word vag... Anyway now I’m actually feeling a bit lightheaded from the Even More So Than Before heavy bleeding, it probably wasnt a smart idea to test out the sugar thing twice in one day. Now I’m bleeding as much as I usually do on my regular period, which is probably not good cos I’ve already been losing a small amount of blood everyday. Apparantly carrots have a vitamin that helps decrease menstrual bleeding, but its late evening now and all the supermarkets are shut :P SOMEONE BEAM CARROTS INTO MY HOME, AAAAA lol i just need to calm down and get out of this panic attack, its probably just this in combination with the blood loss thats giving me lightheadedness. and then it makes me worry even more about the blood loss and enter an eternal death spiral of anxiety yet again... GAHH I HATE YOU DYSPHORIA DAY I WILL TALK TO THE DOCTOR AND SO HELP ME GOD I REALLY WISH THIS LEADS TO A HYSTERECTOMY seriously lol every time I’m doubting if I’m ‘really trans enough’ i should look back on this conversation where i’m wishing my uterus disease is the worst possible option just so i can get rid of the damn uterus.. ANYWAY BUNNI IS GONNA GO TRY AND CALM DOWN NOW COS I CANT CALL THE DOCTOR TIL TOMORROW ANYWAY

#gahhhh anxiety #anxiety and gross embarassing medical problems #and dysphoria #and apparantly carrots #carrots somehow control your uterus #al these years and ive never known to eat more carrots on the monthly time...

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xxleondraxx · 6 years ago

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The solution to this really isnt that difficult people.

Work. In. The. Trades.

You think millenials not being able to afford to send their kids to college is going to be an issue? Know what the bigger issue is?

Younger people are not working in the trades.

Not to say there are NO younger people in the trades. I'm 25 and already have experience in qelding, pipefitting and painting. Schools keep pushing college over the trades.

The trades have already started to feel this steep decline on new workers. If you have even the SLIGHTEST idea what you're doing when it comes to welding there are companies out there SO DESPERATE for welders that they will pay to fly you from wherever you live to come work for them then with paying for your food, housing and fuel.

Know those roads you drive on to go to college? Maintained by trade workers. The buildings of the college? Built and maintained by trade workers. Those cars? Made in factories built and maintained by trade workers.

Trade work is some of THE MOST important work, and the issue of having not enough young blood coming into the trades is going to cause a massive issue down the road when all the guys that are already 40+ years old and from generations when trade work was actually appreciated retire.

Got big huge potholes in your neighborhood? Gonna take even longer to get them fixed due to lack of manpower.

Got leaky pipes in your house? Well now there arent many plumbers so on top of having to pay a PREMIUM for their services you're gonna have to go on a waiting list or try to figure out how to fix it yourself without making it worse. School have a leaking roof and maybe part of it caved in from water damage? Well that classroom's gonna have to be closed down until they can find roofers, drywallers, carpenters and (depending on the age of the school) asbestos abatement personnel that have the time to get to it since theyre undermanned and have almost more work than they can handle already.

For the love of everything holy, stop pushing college as the only way to success.

And if you are gonna push college, stop acting like you have to get that 4 year degree in 4 years.

This is the other issue. If it takes you 8 years to get a 4 year degree, that degree is still worth the same and by spreading it out over additional years ypu are lessening how much you need in loans. I went to college for 2 and a half years. I have ZERO dollars in student debt. Wanna know how?

It wasnt tons of grants or trust funds or anything. I simply didnt take more credits than my financial aid, from the community college (also important), paid for. So a 2 year degree for me would've taken more like 3-4 years to get. Then, after learning some welding in college along with a bunch of other random bullcrap, I left and became a trade worker.

Know what else is great?

Trade school

Seriously. Get on that shit. Learn something useful. You have any idea how much crane operators can make and how much some of them get paid to sit there doing nothing? It's a lot. Learn to operate heavy machinery.

The other great part about learning trade work? The opportunities for side work. I've known people that made THOUSANDS of dollars, cash, for ONE side job.

College is not the only road to financial success.

Alternately, if you have your heart set on college then before going for a degree, do your research. See what the job market for people with that degree is. What the jobs are. The pay. Don't get a degree in a field with little job oportunity or that wont make you enough to pay off any debt.

This stigma that college is the only way needs to end. Colleges are up their own asses and charge hundreds just for books. THOUSANDS for you to spend a few hours a week in a classroom.

My current job? I've learned everything Ive learned about it while on the job and being paid. No classroom. No fees. Just work, learn, and get paid for it.

Stop living beyond your means!

Can't afford college? Dont go. Or do what I did and go to a community college and dont work beyond what your financial aid covers. My financial aid didnt cover my books but I could foot the bill for those. My result is no school debt. Do I have a house? No. I have a good sized RV I got for a steal. Could I get one? Yes. I can get a brand new double wide right now for $60,000. Sounds expensive but compare it to the $200,000 house my brother is looking at right now and it's a heck of a deal. Get a nice plot of land, plop it down and call it good. I'd be stretching it a little if I did that but I COULD do it. However, I'm in no rush. I'd rather save up more, stay where I'm at, which is a place in which I am comfortable to be in, and wait. Life isnt a race.

Maybe if people stop flocking to college like it's the only answer and colleges start to struggle financially...

Maybe they'll start to lower the cost of higher education to something reasonable in a bid to get people back.

The way I see it, America will eventually have the choice between forgiving student debt or facing the massive destabilization caused by an entire generation being unable to build any wealth.

By destabilization I mean that the millennial generation will eventually become aware of the fact that they will be enslaved by their student debt for most of, if not their entire lives.

Many in this generation still had parents that were able to save and contribute financially to their children’s college education, but that’s also going to be a thing of the past when everyone has their own debt burden to carry well into adulthood - meaning the problem will become unimaginably worse for the next generation.

Once people realize this, you’ve got a social powder keg unheard of since the social question poised by the industrial revolution.

The entire student loan system is little more than a scheme meant to extract every last bit of present and future wealth from society’s youngest members, and the longer it continues, the uglier its inevitable end is going to be.

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br0kenbutterfly · 7 years ago

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15/5/2017

So its 2am, its fucking freezing cold, but I have to write this because if I dont, itll be just like all the other stuff I look back on and wish I had some recollection of how I felt. Like all my childhood diaries that I started. Or the abandoned derby tumblr thats still lurking somewhere. Anyway.

I had my initial appointment with a surgeon today about weight loss surgery. I’ve been thinking about surgery since about 2013, and seriously for the last 9 months or so. I’ve talked to several people who have had various surgeries (including mum, my friend and a friend of my aunts), and done my research. Ive discussed this with my (awesome amazing wonderful) GP, and our work counsellor Ann-Marie, who are both incredibly supportive. I’m paying for this surgery privately, which cuts hugely into the savings Ive accumulated since I was 15 for a house, but I can wait for a house. Every year I don't do this is a year Im kinda wasting my youth on being huge and not happy and making excuses for not doing things Id like to do. Not that Im unhappy all the time, but my weight is a safety blanket, kinda like my depression was my safety blanket for not leaving oamaru. I just dont wanna wait until Im accepted into public surgery (which Ive been on the list for since 2013) because at that point Ill probably be in my 50s and have so many health issues. Like for goodness sake, im 26 and I have pre-diabetes, polycystic ovaries that mean im probs infertile, a perpetually sore back that means i cant walk for more than a block without having to stop, my knees and ankles give out randomly. Anyway. Im rambling.

My appointment was with Dr Flint, who I chose because thats who my friend had surgery with (and because the other guy was the one who did my consult for public surgery and he was a right royal douche). He was lovely, and explained both procedures (roux-en-y and gastric sleeve) really well. Im going to have a gastric sleeve, because the ongoing risk of complications like IBS and hernias are smaller (and because you dont have to be on vitamins for life and my god i hate taking meds). He weighed me - ive put on like 5kg since i last weighed myself (fuck) but to be fair i did have my docs on. So my offical starting weight is 157.8kg, which is a terrifying number and also this is probably the first time ive admitted my weight to anyone who isnt a medical professional in a long long time holy shit. Apparently if everything goes well i should be around 95kg afterwards (like 2 years away).

After I went through everything with the surgeon, I saw his nurse? receptionist? general fucking awesome person Denise. Shes so lovely. She talked me through the appointments I need to have next (which tbh is part of the reason I want to to it privately, because i know its not just about the surgery, its about learning to live as a smaller person, and i fucking dont know how to eat properly, and id really like to do some exercises that dont hurt my damn back all the time). So I have to see the dietician, and an exercise consultant, and a psychiatrist, and then back to the surgeon for pre-op appt. My surgery is scheduled for the 11th July, which means Ill be on preop diet from like, the 13th June I think? I might buy some optifast and try it for some breakfasts first. Im so not looking forward to that bit.

Then because I was like, nervous as fuck after my appointment, I went and cuddled ellas tiny humans and then talked to laura and watched sense8.

My biggest fears at the moment are:

-me fucking this up. like what if i cat do it, if my willpower is awful, and i screw it up and throw $20k down the drain. How shit will I feel about myself if the surgery doesnt work, because theres not really any more drastic options. what if i put all the weight back on like my uncle, or drink frozen coke and dont eat protein like my mum

-mum. i havent told her yet....im telling her tomorrow. im worried shes gunna be weird about it. not in a “you shouldnt have the surgery” kinda of way, im worried she will want to know how much i weigh, and give me well meaning comments about how i shouldnt be eating this or that, or go the other way and want to have a massive blowout before i start optifast.

-who do i tell? apart from the internel lol (im guessing only like 3 people i know in real life will read this). do i tell my dad? i should but again, im so worried about what he’ll think, how he’ll judge me.

-i think in general im so used to the comments about my weight that im really caught up with it as part of my identity? Like I hate all the health and fitness ads because it just reminds me of me not being fit and healthy, but i wonder if some part of me likes being fat to be a rebel, because some weird part of me feels like im failing by conforming to societys (and my dads) wishes about how i look and act. idk.

- hahahahahh optifast. ive heard it tastes awful and i have 6 weeks of it, then purees (goodie), then soft food. also imma have to eat veggies. fuck.

I’m excited about:

-being able to maybe actually skate well?! being able to do general things like run after izzy or go for a bike ride with people without being like yeah nah i cant do that because it hurts. itd be nice to walk up the stairs without looking like ive run a half marathon. id be nice to walk to work without my back cramping up so bad i have to stop and stretch it several times.

-im kinda looking forward to meeting with the exercise person. I see a lot of people in the #GRRLarmy and stuff and I want to be strong, but I am terrified of the gym and im really hoping shell be able to help and be a good motivation

-the dietician will be good to because lord knows im terrible at cooking for myself no matter how many well meaning people try and teach me. i just wish i didnt have to eat.

-possibly having lower food bills - currently i spend like a quarter of my income on food which is ridiculous and i dont know how to stop.

Right so that was a novel. Now its 3am and i have to go talk to my boss and ask her for time off for 5 preop appointments in the next 6 weeks, as well as hi im going to need 2 weeks off work lololol. Oh, and tell my mum im having major surgery in 6 weeks and i didnt tell her i had an appointment to talk about it. whoops. wish me luck x

#whats my personal tag again #no seriously this shit gets weird its just a mind dump #cw food #surgery and shit

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szhmidty · 6 years ago

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Fun fact: if you put "The article is behind a paywall and I cant access it" on my dash, I'm compelled to fix that because paywalls are bullshit.

Here it is:

I only glanced through, but: the paper seems mostly meh. The sample size is far too small, two of the people are described as in a relationship with each other (which means the sampling was bad on top of the small sample size) it does a common thing I hate where the authors spend 8 pages describing social theories and making strong assertions before getting to the actual methodology and data, which pings my BS meter hard. Although the author establishes that this topic has not been researched before, so a small sample is somewhat forgivable as a preliminary study to start a discussion in the field. And the author doesnt draw strong conclusions from the data, only saying that it offers tentative evidence for hypotheses established elsewhere.

It's an overall shitty paper with weak methodology on a novel, unexplored topic. Besides the data fraud, I dont see much of a problem with it being published, especially if it was shopped around and edited before finally being published in a 3rd rate journal.

I'm kinda wondering if they started off with complete BS and were told to make changes until it resembled reasonable research, at which point it was accepted. I can see how one would take that as a failure of academic publishing, but it's actually a strength: it's how publisher feedback is supposed to work.

Bad papers get published all the time. I had a course last year where part of the final exam we were expected to rip apart a bad paper on surface chemistry modifications published recently in some well respected journal. It was seriously bad, and frankly in more insidious ways than the above paper was (it wasnt obvious the data was horseshit unless you figured out their model for yourself and calculated the range of values that were plausible, a range they missed by a wide margin).

The point of academia isnt to prove things absolutely true in one publication: you make assertions based on documented reasoning and evidence, and others respond. A bad paper getting through the cracks after repeated attempts means nothing. How the field as a whole responds to that publication is a much stronger indicator of a field's overall standards.

The problem with the pseudo Sokal hoaxes is that they pull the plug almost instantly. I'm willing to bet the paper would have faded into obscurity with a dozen total citations, all critical or ambivalent. That or it would be trounced by actual in depth explorations of the topic, all of which would be required to cite the paper as one of the first explorations of the topic in the field.

As it stands, the above paper has one citation from this paper:

The citation amounts to "it exists", which means it was picked up through lit review, and the author didnt give enough of a shit about it to discuss it besides referencing it for thoroughness.

Okay, the post that I was going to reply to was deleted but here’s a bunch of words of me yelling about those dipshits who just pulled the gender-studies-is-bullshit “Gotcha”:

[long story short three authors submitted a bunch of faked stories to a bunch of legitimate humanities journals and a few of them got published; the authors of this article claim that’s proof that Gender Studies has a bias that will let anyone publish so long as they are anti-white, anti-man, anti-straight enough]

Hey so these people seem to be shit-stirrers. Also their methods are the same kind of “gotcha” bullshit that these academic hoaxes always are. “We wrote a convincing paper or considered opinion with faked data and after strenuous revision and working with the journal to get them to believe I was sincere they accepted my lies! Fucking suckers!”

Here’s some of the other stuff by the EIC/an author of this paper:

You’ve got some bog standard assimilationist “eew those nasty queers” stuff:

Equally difficult for many to deal with is the complicated pretentiousness of some trans activists who assert the existence of as many as 114 genders, an almost as long list of gender pronouns, and the existence of gender fluidity in which these can change from day-to-day and even from hour to hour. This situation is nearly impossible to navigate, and it is a problem uniquely placed upon the natural allies, not enemies, of activists embracing it. Enemies merely make fun of this. On the other hand, it requires the supportive ally to ask and then remember how the genderfluid individual would like to be addressed before almost every conversation and to constantly expect missteps and offense. This situation is frankly chilling to engagement, which further alienates those that activism is meant to help. Rather than coming off as a legitimate attempt to help legitimate problems, then, this form of gender activism appears to many like an unappealing combination of ideologizing and attention-seeking and raises the question of whether everybody who says they are trans is sincere or correct. It seems likely that some people have jumped on the train due to an ideological commitment to gender non-conformity and many trans people themselves have complained of this and coined the term “transtrender” to describe it.

…

This wary, skeptical reaction to someone with a complicated understanding of their own gender might seem unsympathetic to someone who is struggling with their gender identity and trying to feel comfortable in it. Trans activists will argue that their comfort as a person experiencing struggle (and “oppression”) outweighs that of the cisgendered individual having to hear about it and to make efforts to comply. However, there is an unfortunate tendency for the authoritarian and the pretentious ideologizing aspects of trans activism to come as a package, and thus even the most sympathetic potential ally will often be wary of engaging with trans activists who take this attitude. Who does this hurt most? Trans people, of course, especially those who don’t want to politicize their identity and don’t want to be constantly identified as “trans” or talk about their gender identity but would rather just be known by their name and treated like anyone else.

https://areomagazine.com/2017/09/27/an-argument-for-a-liberal-and-rational-approach-to-transgender-rights-and-inclusion/

There’s some “colleges are echo chambers and we’re worried that conservative voices aren’t fairly represented, because THAT’S what bias is” with a healthy side of “Humanities are bullshit and colleges should be knowledge generating research facilities instead of indoctrination factories” (also anyone who thinks that humanities departments are echo chambers has never seen a theater historian and a Shakespearian Lit professor go toe-to-toe about intended audiences)

In short, the right-wing is losing trust in universities largely because they see them, mostly but not altogether wrongly, in politicized terms. While it remains unclear precisely to what degree the university should skew left or right, if at all in either direction, it is nearly beyond question that the current situation of severe leftward bias constitutes a significant problem and source of legitimate criticism. Particularly, to the degree that the university is truly becoming a “self-affirming echo chamber in which ideological validation displaces critical inquiry,” the right is raising a valid concern that, in our opinion, lacks not so much substance as it does moderating and necessary precision.

The growing perception of universities as ideological echo-chambers is, above all else, the driver undermining their reputation. Compounding the problem are well-publicized and frequent reports of academic activism, censorship, protests, firings, no-platforming, and intimidation at universities directed not only against conservatives but also at moderates, centrists, and even leftists who do not fully comply with the fashionable moral ideas of the day, which today means intersectional ideas. (Helen wrote about this problem here and here.) Because what happens in the university today tends to filter out and impact culture, we now see these ideas taking a certain undeserved pride of place within corporate diversity offices and, particularly, throughout media. This greater problem has now also reached a pitch that, in that it cannot be ignored, hasn’t gone unnoticed.In addition to these significant issues of campus authoritarianism, people are also becoming more aware of the multitude of ludicrously silly (and often horrifying) academic papers being published in the humanities and social sciences due to social media exposure by accounts such as @realpeerreview.

[screencap of a tweet highlighting a paper about drones queering military engagement; written as queer phenomenology]

Even when papers are not explicitly silly (often with considerable taxpayer funding) or advocating for legitimately worrying social engineering, they often lack substance, simply building on theoretical frameworks and earlier papers and making their work unfalsifiable and unable to be criticized. (James wrote about this here.) Making matters more complex, this vein of academic sophistry is the primary intellectual engine driving the aforementioned bad behavior while ostensibly substantiating it within the academic canon — giving opinion, pretense, and speculation (often simultaneously political in nature and only barely tethered to reality) the undeserved veneer of produced knowledge.

[Holy shit, I didn’t even realize it but that article linked above (the one James A. Lindsay wrote, the one called “Why no one cares about Feminist Theory) links to one of my comics as a sign that the feminist theory that nobody cares about is filtering into the real world] [Also he seems to go out of his way to *not* define Feminist Theory in his article about how frustratingly unfalsifiable Feminist Theory journals are] [Also the math professor who is claiming that no one cares about feminist theory cites as evidence a paper that doesn’t have the words “feminist” or “feminism” anywhere in it but broadly has the category of the humanities (HUM) that has this to say about people not citing many articles “The extremely skewed nature of the data in HUM, again, suggests that extreme caution should be applied in using journal-based bibliometric data for the evaluation of research in HUM.” The paper also notes that HUM articles are more likely to cite books than articles][But who gives a shit about intellectual honesty, gotta own those authoritarian, identitarian SJWs]

Whooo, got off on a bit of a rant there, it’s always like smacking facefirst into a door when I unexpectedly run into one of my comics. Did Dr. Lindsay learn about my terrible SJWness from The Amazing Atheist? Given the kinds of books that Dr. Lindsay writes it seems not altogether unlikely. And since I mentioned TJ here’s my regular announcement that if you think I’m a triggered whiner you can buy a Politically Incorrect Man sticker from me and 100% of the proceeds will go toward a men’s shelter and men’s rape crisis counseling. If you buy a Mx. Respect For Others sticker proceeds go to Planned Parenthood. I’ve never had a single person claiming to care about men’s rights or lack of access to abuse resources for men buy a sticker, or even message me to show me they’d donated to such a charity. I’ve not sold Mx. Respect For Others merch either, but I have had people send me screencaps of their donations to Planned Parenthood because of it. Anyway /rant and Dr. Lindsay is a disingenuous shovel.

Here’s something about the EiC:

https://areomagazine.com/2018/03/23/a-principled-defense-of-the-university/

Helen Pluckrose is an exile from the humanities with research interests in late medieval/early modern religious writing by and about women. She is currently writing a book about postmodernism and critical theory and their impact on epistemology and ethics in the academy and more widely. She is editor-in-chief of Areo.

HMMMMMMM. Just. Like. Just a tiny bit curious. Why are these esteemed scholars running a journal totally unrelated to their fields of study in order to criticize a different field of study? Do? You have to do actual research? To publish within your own field? Instead of faking research? (btw at least one of the journals they got published in had already tapped the paper as probably in some way faked and had a warning up about it) Also two of this article’s authors pulled the same stunt in 2016. Hey assholes, go after The Lancet for fact checking and accepting bullshit papers; no fucking gender studies journal ever contributed to the global reemergence of measles.

also it looks like their main findings are:

“Are we correct in our claim that highly regarded peer-reviewed journals in gender studies and related fields will publish obvious hoaxes?” was answered nearly unequivocally and in the negative by November. It only took us a few months and a few papers to learn that while it is possible that some journals in these fields may fall prey to an outright hoax so long as it plays upon their moral biases and preferred academic jargon, nothing like “The Conceptual Penis” would have been published in a highly regarded gender-studies journal. In believing that some might, and on having said so in the wake of that attempt, we were wrong.

and

we amassed what appears to be significant evidence and sufficient expertise to state that we were correct in claiming there is a problem with bias in fields influenced by critical constructivist approaches and assumptions.

Though of the articles they were able to get accepted it appears that only four have been published, three of those fake original research (documentations of interactions at dog parks and hooters-style restaurants and interviews about masturbation) and the one about body building is supposed to be by a person with 50 years of experience in the body building community.

Also of the ones that have been published the abstracts don’t look at all like the reductive “thesis statements” they’ve put up in this article.

“Do men who report greater comfort with receptive penetrative anal eroticism also report less transphobia, less obedience to masculine gender norms, greater partner sensitivity, and greater awareness about rape?” This study uses semi-structured interviews with thirteen men to explore this question, analyzed with a naturalist and constructivist grounded theory approach in the context of sexualities research and introduces transhysteria as a parallel concept to Anderson’s homohysteria,” isn’t quite the same as “it is suspicious that men rarely anally self-penetrate using sex toys, and that this is probably due to fear of being thought homosexual (“homohysteria”) and bigotry against trans people (transphobia).”

And getting it published certainly doesn’t prove that “journals will accept ludicrous arguments if they support (unfalsifiable) claims that common (and harmless) sexual choices made by straight men are actually homophobic, transphobic, and anti-feminist.” [fuck, and also I’ve literally heard people say that it’s not gay unless you’re taking it up the ass; that’s an attitude that has been around for literally millennia - choosing not to play with your own butt is not homophobic, teaching people that playing with their butts makes them gay *is* homophobic]

The article is behind a paywall so I can’t see the research they faked but if there’s a correlation between their fake interview subjects not using butts and a tolerance of rape culture or belief that butt stuff is emasculating, calls for further study and destigmatizing penetrative anal sex seems like a reasonable preliminary conclusion rather than accusing straight guys of homophobia. Like. I’m going to have to see a lot more of that article before I believe that Sexuality & Culture was wrong to accept it on its premise.

Like.

I continue to not get the “it’s not empirical and therefore it is bullshit and lies polluting our society” attitude. Criticism of Gender Studies on this level tends to ignore that there are empirical ways of exploring this shit, we call that field of study Sociology and that you can collect good evidence on what people believe and how it impacts their behavior.

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