#series of ‘notes’ he wrote under the cut
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New Findings For Alexander Hamilton’s Artillery Company!!
Today I came across “new” (new to me, anyway--nor have I seen a Hamilton biographer or scholar mention this) Captain Hamilton information and I feel bad for the people within my vicinity inside my campus library who had to hear my shocked squeal.
Within the Henry Knox Papers of the Gilder Lehrman Collection held by the Gilder Lehrman Institute of American History is an “Artillery record book” which was written by Colonel Samuel Shaw for Knox’s regiment of artillery between January 12, 1777 and March 24, 1777. The book itself is only 16 pages (which includes the cover page), but it contains all sorts of troop movements, artillery inventory, and other notes.
The following (under the cut) is a chronological rundown of all the times Hamilton or his men are mentioned in the book, along with the images themselves (as unfortunately the database that the Knox Papers were digitized to, American History 1493-1945, is limited to institutional access. However, it can be found here):
First up, on page five (seen above), Colonel Shaw wrote a series of "memos," or tasks needing completion. One of these, as seen at the top of the page, included "To enquire of Capt Hamilton whether his men were entitled to the Bounty of Ten Dollars which they received of Lieut Reed 1 Jany [January] 1777 --". The start of the new year came of course on the heels of the Battle of Trenton fought on December 26, 1776, wherein Hamilton's cannons played a major role.
Next (and the most interesting to me), on page twelve (seen above) Shaw wrote a series of troop movements. Dated February 3, 1777, the colonel wrote that "Lieut [John] Bean, with 8 men of Capt Hamilton's Coy [Company] came [up?] from Bucks County and marched to join the Detachment with Genl [John] Sullivan and Capt [Sebastian] Bauman --". At this time, Hamilton was still in recovery from the illness he developed prior to Trenton, and the only other remaining officer in his company was his Third Lieutenant Thomas Thompson. This would thus mean that Hamilton and Thompson were left to watch over those that remained with the company while Bean and eight enlisted men were away.
Lastly, on the final page of the record book (seen above) a series of discharges for men in Hamilton's company were written on March 24, 1777. By that time, Alexander Hamilton had joined Washington's staff as an aide-de-camp. Colonel Shaw, and another person who has not been identified, explicitly wrote:
Morris Town March 24, 1777
This is to certify that Lieut John Bean has Received his Discharge this day Sign'd by General Knox, N B the above person Belong'd to the late Capt Hamilton's Compy [Company] of the State of N[ew] York Likewise has 24 days pay due --
March 24, 1777 Discharged Martian Laulen[,] Isaac Johnston & Will'm [William] Hackett Matross's in the Late Capt Hamilton's Compy, Rais'd in the State of New York By order of General Knox . . . .
Also had seven men of the above mentioned compy Qualifyed [Qualified] to be true to the Independent States of America --
Note: the names of the matrosses discharged were cross-referenced with the names found in Alexander Hamilton's artillery company pay book for making my above transcription.
This entire record makes me extremely happy. I have new dates and more minute details and therefore a more concrete timeline surrounding Hamilton and the men of his company, yay!! Lately I have become very interested in the company's continuing service in the American Revolution after Hamilton's departure, and this record just gave me some fascinating information that links to some other information I have found on the whereabouts of some of these men written about above. But this is daring to open a can of worms that should be saved for a later post.
Frankly, it does not surprise me that I have not read about this record previously. It is so detailed and routine that it doesn't stand out necessarily on its own in the wider scope of things. However, as regards The American Icarus (and another project I may or may not be considering tackling?), this new information is very interesting and helpful. And I hope someone else here finds it interesting too.
#I would update my captain hamilton timeline if not for having hit my image and hyperlink limit on that post 😭#grace's random ramble#alexander hamilton#amrev#historical alexander hamilton#captain hamilton#henry knox#amrev fandom#historical hamilton#american revoluton#historical documents#18th century letters#continental artillery#continental army#george washington#battle of trenton#american history#historical research#historical resources#henry knox papers#gilder lehrman institute of american history#the american icarus#TAI#my projects#my writing#writeblr#new york provincial company of artillery
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Bill Cipher dissection!
[The following is a passage taken from Stanford Pine’s notes dated September 8th 198X]
Eye - No further damage could be done to it, the most I was able to achieve was removing it from my Muse’s body. I must assume the presence of rods and cones in the back of it as Cipher is known to see colors. Attaches to the back of his eye socket alone, with the fat surrounding it seemingly acting as cushioning instead of any sort of connective tissue.
Tissue layers: Cipher has an epidermis, as well as a subcutaneous layer underneath it. However the presence of a serous membrane between the subcutaneous tissue and muscle as seen in his ‘hat’ and ‘tie’ implies that a serous membrane does not only line his (for a lack of a better term or the appearance of a ventral or dorsal- likely due to two dimensional origins) major cavity but every part of his body. The reason for this remains unclear to me, perhaps due to the fact that his bones would otherwise lay directly against the subcutaneous tissue so that they don’t puncture his skin. Bones and skeletal muscle in his ‘hat’ and ‘tie’ imply the possibility of moving them at will- simply hypothesis as I have never witnessed this.
Large spots of luciferase, the enzyme associated with bioluminescence. Luciferin likely diffuses through the subcutaneous membrane to the large spots of luciferase allowing my Muse to glow.
Teeth and ‘lashes’: Four teeth line the upper and lower eye lid each, with a similar structure to a cat’s claw allowing them to retract and extend at will. The slits through which the teeth protrude create the appearance of ‘eyelashes’. It appears that the eye’s resilience has removed the need for actual eyelashes.
Reflective lenses: found posterior the eye and lateral(both left and right) the base of the optic nerve reflective lenses focus light into lasers. Implies the eye and connecting fat to be semi-transparent.
Sea cucumber(?): it appears to be a sea cucumber. Its movement also directly correlates to my Muse’s ability to levitate. It may be functioning as a swim bladder but for air. Why marine life is the form that such a thing has taken baffles me, especially concerning Cipher’s seeming disdain for it.
Multiple appendixes: The appendix is already practically useless, simply a vestigial organ. Why my muse seeming has them running all along his large intestine is a mystery. I’d hate to know what appendicitis would be like for him.
Traditional organs: several organs appear to be the exact same as they appear in humans. These are the liver, pancreas(though location has been changed), small and large intestines, stomach, kidneys, lungs and bile ducts.
Diaphragm: presses down on the lungs from the top and sides, as well as shielding them from other organs.
Brain and antennae: while it appears normal at first, the brain has two metal antennae poking out of it. These antennae function similarly to that of a radio, but instead of picking up on electromagnetic waves the antenna of Cipher’s brain pick up on thought waves. Seemingly this is how he can enter and alter the mindscape.
Time dial: works as a pressure sensor attached to his lungs, the higher the pressure in his lungs the slower time progresses. The slower time is, the further clockwise the major vein in the ‘dial’ shifts.
The gall-stone: Where the gall of Cipher comes from, supposedly. It does tend to move and change shape slightly the moire outrageous my Muse is. When making a deal it appears to grow slightly, I’d hazard to guess that the more impactful a deal is the larger it grows. (It must be said that to test this, my Muse had to be conscious and so it was among my first courses of action. And for reference, the deal made was that if I purchased and wore a shirt of his choosing Cipher would join me in a game of Dungeons, Dungeons, and more Dungeons)
The ‘screen’: the layers of tissue covering it can be pulled back at will and into different shapes and sizes. The screen can then project an image that Cipher chooses. Seemingly uses the brain antenna as a way to receive this information.
The black hole(?): Appears to be a tiny black hole used to remove waste in place of excretion.
Multiple hearts: Only one(the inferior/medial heart) actively pumps blood, but upon severing the aorta the superior/lateral-left heart begins to pump blood while the inferior heart is quickly blocked off. Seemingly just a safety precaution against any issues or damage to his heart.
Note: Cipher is capable of regeneration given enough time, allowing this to be preformed more like a vivisection than a dissection. Though I do worry that despite my Muse’s reassurances that the scalpel ‘tickled’ and that my cutting of his various organs and tissues was ‘funny’ I may have actually done him harm. I can’t imagine the sensation of being cut open while not under any anesthetics could be pleasant, and without any sign of nervous injury that could limit the pain felt it is almost certain to have been rather painful. We will see if he is still willing to speak with me tonight. Hopefully my Muse understands the importance of cataloging his current physical condition so that if any changes occur once the portal is completed they can be noted and handled with the concern necessary.
#grvaity falls#bill cipher#stanford pines#sorta. he’s both implied in the image(little reflection of his hair) and we have a#series of ‘notes’ he wrote under the cut#cw: gore#to be safe! it’s pretty cartoony but y’know#my art#this post was brought to you by an anatomy and physiology student. this is how I make sure I know my shit#for the record i started this on the 6th- the actual ‘bill anatomy’ photo wasn’t public knowledge yet#sorry if the writing sounds out of character. I’ve never tried to write in a Stanford pines voice I dunno what I’m doing.#also fun thing: bill’s tongue is included here because I wanted to try drawing the kind of sensory papilla that were present on that of the#fetal pig we had to dissect last semester! luckily ford doesn’ have to deal with cracking a jaw open… that was unpleasant to say the least#also the ‘black hole’ is specifically designed to look reminiscent of the portal! and the sea cucumber is there because I forgot what it was#supposed to be and just went ‘eh- the shape is sorta sea cucumber looking’#rendering is not my friend but I think I’m getting better
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strobe lights | lights out series
Joshua's search for an answer to the frenetic pacing of his life leads him down roads that could cause him more confusion. And fear.
✮ pairings: yoon jeonghan x female reader x joshua hong ✮ genre: angst, fluff, smut [18+] ✮ aus: theatre director jeonghan, rockstar joshua, polyamorous relationship ✮ word count: 23.2k
› 🎧: gemini – ethan low | i can't read your mind – meloh | you ain't gotta – hojean | house of cards – bts | different – woodz | habit – i.m | blue – v | screen time – epik high ft. hoshi | eleven – twlv ft. bibi | about you – soulbysel, def.
→ season one — season two — read more
› smut warnings under the cut
✮ warnings: anxiety attacks, dark-ish themes, mentions of drugs. smut with plot, toxic joshua is back, mlm action uwu, consensual recordings of sex, jeonghan and joshua are into cucking, dom jeonghan, dom joshua, subby reader, dirty talk, corruption kink, pegging, sort of somnophiliac activities, praise and degradation kink, a long ass threesome, use of the word slut (lovingly), car sex, cum play, cum eating, rimming, slight sadism: face slaps, spanking. masturbation, blowjobs, anal sex, rimming, double penetration, cumming on skin, edging. pet names: baby, bunny, princess, filthy girl, good girl, sweetheart (hers) baby, babe, good boy (jihan) ✮ author's note: hi hi hi hi there everyone! just here with the usual note to indicate that instances where the words Bunny, Princess, or Baby are capitalized, are meant to signify Y/N, ok? ok. ty Baby (●'◡'●) ✮ author's note pt. 2: this is not proofread. i apologize in advance. ✮ disclaimer: minors dni this post is intended for 18+ readers. please have your age stated in your description and try not to look like a bot please 🙂.
part v
The elevator doors parted with a soft ding. Joshua stepped out, walking down the hallway on the floor he used to live in long ago. He stopped in front of your apartment door, breathing in slowly to calm the tightness in his chest. Bringing a hand up, he knocked three times and waited.
In his hand, he held a bottle of red wine. Joshua did not even know if the dinner went along with it. He preferred whisky. But he would let it slide, for tonight.
The door opened. “Ah, Joshuji! Welcome back!” his best friend chanted, instantly bringing him to a hug. “What’s this?” Jeonghan grabbed the bottle of wine, pretending to read the label. “I don’t know anything about wines.”
“Me neither,” Joshua replied dryly, looking at the interior space. Everything was tidied, his noise amplifiers had been removed and, in their place, stood a bookshelf with your first books displayed. He noticed; that those looked like the books you wrote before you met him.
“Wait here, let me go get her. I think she was taking a nap but, she’s so excited,” Jeonghan said briefly, settling the bottle of wine on the table and turning to the bedroom. “Baby! Wake up, there’s a surprise for you!”
The bookshelf also hosted a pair of pictures of you, one where Jeonghan was kissing your cheek. Before he could see the other one, his best friend came back, the thing in his chest hugged his heart even harder. You were striding close behind Jeonghan, your hand wrapped in his.
“Hi, Joshua,” you meekly stuck your hand out to him. “Jeonghan has told me about you,” a smile painted your pretty face. “Nice to meet you.”
The thing in his chest burst, making him freeze right there and then. Before he could control his body, his hand was reaching yours, in a handshake. The softness of your fingers. It felt right, it was you. You. His Bunny.
“Nice to meet you too,” he forced out.
A sharp intake of breath snapped him back to life. Sitting up in the bed, his senses were catching up. His hand palmed the bed, the spot beside him.
Only to find it vacant. You were not there; this was not your bed. He sat alone in a hotel room.
Joshua let out a breath, bringing his hands to rub his face, trying to calm himself down. He sniffed quietly, trying to hold back the pain throbbing inside his chest.
He searched for his phone in the dark, squinting at the light coming from the screen as he searched for your name. The last text message from you read, Going to bed. I love you! It was sent two hours ago. There was no reply from him.
His thumb trembled slightly before he pressed on the call button. But he held in his breath and pressed the phone to his ear. He still felt hazy, with the last slivers of his nightmare clawing into the back of his head.
“Hello?” he mumbled as soon as he noticed you picked up his call.
“Hi baby,” you replied sluggishly.
“I’m sorry,” he dropped his head slightly. “I’m waking you up.”
“What’s going on?” you asked, your voice went up slightly.
“I just wanted to hear your voice,” he replied, the thing in his chest stammered painfully.
“Is everything okay, Josh? You sound off,” you pointed, and he could almost picture the frown in your face.
“Yeah, baby, everything’s okay,” he replied, a low rasp from the feeling coiling in his throat made his tone sound unsure. “I just miss you terribly.”
You could tell that those last words made his voice thicker. “I miss you too, baby,” you replied sweetly. “I can’t wait to see you.”
“Next week, baby, I promise,” he whispered, rubbing the tips of his fingers on the corners of his eyes. “I’ll let you sleep now, okay?”
You paused. “Sure you’re okay, babe?”
The worry he heard in your voice soothed a part of the nasty feeling pulsating in his chest. “Yes, baby, don’t worry,” he mumbled with all of the assertiveness he could muster. “You can go back to sleep now, I’m sorry.”
“Okay,” you whispered. “I’ll go back to sleep, but call me tomorrow as soon as you can, please.”
“I’ll do that,” he smiled to himself, trying to picture your sleepy eyes. “I love you.”
“And I love you, Joshua,” you mumbled sweetly. “Sleep well.”
“You too, baby.”
The line went dead, and you lay your head on your fluffy pillows. After returning your phone to the nightstand, you sighed.
A hand quickly came to park on your tummy. “What’s wrong?” Jeonghan mumbled with a sleepy drawl.
“It was Joshua,” you explained faintly. “He had a nightmare.”
“Mmn, again?” Jeonghan asked, rubbing slow circles on your skin.
“He didn’t say it, but that’s what I assume.”
“But is he okay?”
“I don’t think so. He didn’t sound like it,” you whispered glumly. “I’ve been trying to get him to talk these past few days, but he swears he doesn’t remember anything.”
“We’ll go see him in a few days,” he shushed, caressing your hair to uncover your face to his eyes. “Don’t worry about him right now, baby. We can’t help him from here.”
“I just don’t want him to go into hiding again,” you mumbled faintly, nuzzling your face on the crook of his neck.
Jeonghan shivered slightly upon the gentle caress of your breath on his skin. “I’ll break him out of it if that’s what it takes,” he replied with certainty. “Now sleep, baby. Got a big day ahead tomorrow. We got to work.”
“Yeah…” you breathed against his neck, placing a small kiss. “Sleep.”
Joshua crafted a routine for himself. While on tour he had to learn one thing: he needed to have order. There was no room for worry, so he would not let his anxieties grow. So, he would call you everyday, although sometimes he could not get to your text messages on time, he made a rule to call you at least once a day.
He would hit the gym every chance he could get, and if there was no gym, he would go out for a run late at night, or before sunrise. Then of course, he would go to work: whether it was at a concert, or interviews, events, photoshoots…
However, there was something else happening within that routine too.
He woke up with a start, snapping his eyes open and sighed with frustration at the loud alarm vibrating beneath his pillow. He shut the high-pitched sound at once, letting his face sink onto the white fluffy pillows with a tired groan.
As he stretched out his limbs underneath the bed sheets, he turned over rubbing his eyes with the back of his knuckles.
Another sigh, he unlocked his phone, checking his schedule for the day, verifying he had three hours until his first activity. Then he moved onto checking the messages he had not attended to, discarding mentally those that seemed unimportant and pressing a thumb over your name.
Call me as soon as you can, please. I love you. Your message read. It was sent a couple of minutes after the phone call last night. If he called you right now, he would wake you up again. He could call you later.
The pad of his thumb slid up, swiftly finding the app where you shared a folder with him, and with Jeonghan. His heart banged against his chest. Is it normal to be this excited so early in the morning?
There were new files added to the secret folder that Jeonghan created a little less than a month ago. Lately, he had been getting a new video more regularly. Joshua wondered why the first few weeks of him going away he did not get anything.
But now, it seemed to him that you and Jeonghan had found a way to keep him updated… and busy. This was his routine. Wake up, check for new messages, watch your videos, work, come back to the hotel, call you, rewatch videos, sleep.
Now, he never considered himself a person that would watch porn. Not regularly, not even by mistake. Not because he did not like it. But because if he wanted to get his hands dirty, he would do so with someone who would have him. He was not interested in watching porn when he could do the real thing with someone.
But watching you like this changed his view in so many ways. He found out that he was wrong for thinking porn was not for people like him.
When he asked Jeonghan and you to keep him updated, he did it purely because he did not want to be left out. He knew he would miss seeing this side of you, so that was one of his conditions.
Joshua also found out, how well Jeonghan knew him.
He always begun his morning by watching one video Jeonghan recorded of you. The angle was perfect, it captured your body lying on the bed, so he could see perfectly from your hips to your face. Jeonghan’s hand pressed a toy to your wet pussy, pleasuring you without letting you stop for air.
“Jeonghan, please,” you whined, teary eyed, hands clutching the towel beneath your body.
“Please, what?” he asked, his voice low and almost aloof, much as if he were also caught up by the faces you made, and the sounds escaping your glossy lips.
“F-fuck me, just fuck me,” you cried out, your face scrunching as you moaned lewdly, thighs shaking uncontrollably. “Please…”
“Why should I?” he retorted. “Aren’t you enjoying this, baby? You’ve came five… how many times already?”
“Se-seven,” you mumbled shamefully, twitching on the bed.
Jeonghan pressed his finger on one of the tiny buttons of the vibrator he was holding against your clit. “Eight makes a nice number, don’t you think?” he asked.
Joshua hated that he knew by the tone alone that Jeonghan was wearing a smirk behind the camera. He knew his best friend so well that he had learned all his gimmicks. The vibrator went faster, teasing your engorged clit mercilessly.
“G-god, Hannie,” you gritted your teeth, closing your eyes tightly. “I’m coming, fuck, fuck, I’m g-gonna come.”
You stirred your back on the bed, sinking the back of your head on the pillow as you came, moaning loudly and so very lewdly. “Fuck, you’re squirting again, baby,” Jeonghan sighed, capturing your climax on camera.
“Please, no more,” you whined, teary eyed and panting. “I just need you, please, please.”
“Alright,” Jeonghan muttered, turning off the vibrator and tossing it aside.
But the video did not stop there. Jeonghan moved the phone closer between your legs, making sure Joshua saw your puffy clit, slick in your arousal, Jeonghan’s fingers slid between your folds, a string of arousal stretching between them.
Joshua’s cock stirred beneath his boxers, and he begun palming himself upon the sight of your messy cunt, the arousal dripping down the wet towel beneath you. The fingers spread your folds open, as you clenched around nothing with the aftershocks of the orgasm that forced through you.
The next video was one of his favorites.
It seemed to him that you barely had the chance to set up your phone camera pointing to you. You and Jeonghan were both sitting on the small couch of your office, you were facing the camera, your back pressed to Jeonghan’s chest.
Joshua liked to think that you chose this position so he could see your face. And it was probably the case. He stroked his cock with one hand, blood rushing to the tip as he spread his own precum all over it.
On this video, you were sitting on Jeonghan, riding him fast. You leaned back slightly so the camera perfectly captured you bouncing up and down Jeonghan’s dick. Your moans are quiet... until they were not when Jeonghan’s fingers came to the view, slipping between your pussy lips, rubbing your clit with fast swirls.
You came on top of him, clutching your thighs with your hands. Writhing, but you continued riding him, a moan escaping Joshua when Jeonghan’s cum dripped down his dick, as you continue fucking yourself on him.
Joshua swipes a finger onto the next video, where you are on all fours while Jeonghan fucks you from behind. He pumped himself faster, watching you come on Jeonghan’s cock over and over as he comes in his own hand.
Jeonghan fucks you as though he were having fun, when he fucks you, he does so playfully. There is a smile on his face as he grabs your ass, fucking you down his cock. The features of his beautiful face are riddled by bliss and pleasure, his throat bobs as he moans.
Every time Joshua watches this, he wishes he were in Jeonghan’s place; feeling you squeeze around him, your warmth wrapping him. But sometimes, if he dared to admit it, he enjoys watching his best friend’s face as he comes with you.
Joshua sent a glance down his lower abdomen, a few beads of cum splayed on his skin. But he ignored it, swiping again on the screen to take a look at the new video Jeonghan uploaded.
“Oh, you gotta be fucking kidding me,” Joshua muttered under his breath.
The video was inside Jeonghan’s car. The phone was mounted on the dashboard, capturing both Jeonghan at the wheel, and you on the passenger seat. Jeonghan was stroking your hair as you were leaning over to him, taking his cock in your mouth.
Jeonghan let out a breath through his teeth. “Fuck,” he gritted, letting his head fall back on the headrest of his seat.
You bobbed your head slowly on him, probably on his command so he did not come too fast.
Something you did with your mouth made Jeonghan laugh. “Fuck, baby, stop doing that or I might come too soon. We’re almost there.”
The lighting inside the car changed, quickly surrounding yourselves by an enclosed space that Joshua quickly assumed was an underground parking lot.
Jeonghan gripped the steering wheel tighter, biting his lower lip as he managed to park the car in a spot, shutting the engine off swiftly.
You lifted your head from his crotch, darting a shy glance around you before clicking your seat belt off. “Move your seat back,” you urged, palming his thigh suggestively.
Joshua was surprised to see you take the light slap Jeonghan gave you on one cheek. “Don’t boss me around,” he used the same hand to cup your chin, squeezing your cheeks to then kiss you chastely.
But he did what you asked anyway, pushing his seat back as you shifted onto your knees on his sides. You moved your hair to one shoulder, uncovering your face to the camera as you leaned over to continue sucking his dick.
Joshua continued watching, languidly playing with his cock as the blood rushed again to the head, growing harder and harder. He encircled his shaft with his fist, pumping himself to full hardness, groaning under his breath as Jeonghan brought a hand down on your ass, spanking you firmly.
Jeonghan drew in a breath, stretching his back in an attempt to resist the pleasure building up inside him. “Fuck, you’re so good at this, baby,” he groaned, squeezing his eyes tightly.
Joshua rolled his hand on his own cock, pumping fast as he remembered how good your pretty mouth feels when you pleasure him; he imagined he was there instead of Jeonghan. You whimpered on Jeonghan’s cock, making him moan as he gathered your hair with his hands, following the movements of your head on him.
“Why don’t we show Joshuji what you’re wearing, baby?” Jeonghan asked, his voice was already turning raspy in wanton.
Joshua’s heart stammered upon hearing his own name being voiced by Jeonghan on the video. This occurred with frequency, and he knew this was Jeonghan's way to taunt him, even through videos.
You paused, pulling off his cock to nod with your head. “Yes, Hannie,” you replied sweetly, but leaned down to continue blowing him off.
“You’re so fucking needy you couldn’t wait till we got home to show him,” Jeonghan rasped, keeping a hand on your hair as he used the other to hike your black mini skirt up, revealing an equally black string thong and stockings.
Joshua shifted his gaze from the side of your face to Jeonghan’s hand caressing your ass gently, pausing to give you a playful spank to make you moan.
Jeonghan sighed, closing his eyes in enjoyment. “Fuck, baby. I need you now,” he urged, releasing your hair.
You stopped sucking him off, pushing yourself from your seat and crawling onto Jeonghan’s lap, clumsily straddling him on his seat. Jeonghan reclined the seat back, making you giggle shyly in the heat of the rushed moment.
Joshua felt disappointed now that he could not get a view on your face. But the feeling was quickly replaced when Jeonghan hiked your skirt up again, uncovering your ass to the camera. Then he understood why he had not seen that thong on you before; it was one of those that left your pussy uncovered completely.
Joshua got a clear view of your hand guiding Jeonghan’s cockhead to your entrance, hearing your whimpers as you sank down on his cock, moving your pretty ass slowly, as though adjusting yourself on him.
“God,” you whimpered, dropping your head on his shoulder as you bounced on Jeonghan gently at first.
Joshua moaned deeply. All focus was on the sight of Jeonghan’s cock disappearing inside your pussy. You were picking up the pace, cupping one of his cheeks to bring him into a kiss to muffle your sweet moans.
“Are you enjoying this?” Jeonghan asked longingly looking at the features of your face.
“Yes Hannie,” you nodded dazedly.
“You’re so fucking wet, baby,” he murmured, a light smirk painting his face. “You should’ve told me you wanted to fuck in my car sooner.”
It was the first time you had sex in a car, and it was even more exciting than when you first brought it up to Jeonghan. You and Jeonghan had been playing a game of chasing new first times, together.
Ever since he took you in a dressing room of a clothing store, an idea sparked in your head. And now, you were there, in his car, grinding on him.
“Fuck, I’m close,” Jeonghan sighed in pure pleasure, his hands gripping your waist over your skirt. “I need you to come now, princess.”
“I-,” you choked out, and Joshua could hear the shyness in your tone. “I can’t, Hannie. I’m a little sensitive.”
“But you were begging to have my cock last night,” he rasped, a lazy smile drawing on his face.
“Hannie,” you gasped aghast, but Joshua noticed how your hips stuttered.
“What? Don’t you want Josh to know? How you couldn’t stop bouncing this little pussy on me last night?” he asked, but his tone sounded even more gruff and airy. Joshua knew by the tone alone that he was closer.
“Hannie,” you cried reproachful.
“Your pretty pussy needs to be filled everyday, right baby?” he looked at you languidly. “Come, baby,” he rasped. “Be a good slut for me.”
It seemed to Joshua that in his time away, his best friend had just discovered how much you liked to be talked filth. You nodded frantically, riding him faster.
“G-god, just like that,” Jeonghan grunted blissfully, gripping your waist tighter, hiking the skirt up your back, so Joshua could see the recoil of your ass on Jeonghan’s thighs every time you sank down on him.
Joshua moaned, unable to yank his gaze from the screen. You were riding him faster, eagerly. Jeonghan smiled playfully at you, sighing in pure pleasure.
“Jeonghan,” you whimpered, rolling your hips on his dick with full desperation. “Hannie, I’m close. God, I’m so close.”
“Yes, c-come on my cock, baby,” Jeonghan replied, evidently enjoying how pathetic you were being. His arms encircled your waist hugging you as you hid your face flush on his shoulder. “God, god, princess.”
“Hannie…” you cried out lewdly on his neck, your hands holding onto his shirt for dear life. His arms held you tighter, sighing out a strangled moan as he came with you.
“You’re so good for me,” Jeonghan muttered gruffly, clearly spent. “So good.”
You stopped riding him languidly, his hands now moving on your sides to push your hips up, spreading your pussy lips with his hands as his cum started dripping out of your entrance.
Joshua clenched his jaw, groaning deeply as ropes of cum landed on his fist, closing his eyes so tightly he saw stars. The video was cut there, and he stared at it as he panted, trying to recover and process how much he had liked seeing Jeonghan’s cum dripping out of your used hole.
He threw his phone aside, languidly letting his arms rest for some seconds before he rose from the bed, going directly to start the shower. Standing under the warm shower stream, a thought crossed his mind.
It had seemed as though you and Jeonghan were cruising some kind of honeymoon stage. As much as he hated to admit it to himself, you looked in love. And he knew his best friend for long enough to know that he was head over heels for you too.
The only thing he hated though, was that he was not as present in your life.
He came back to the bedroom to find his phone vibrating on the mattress, and he picked it up after reading your name on the screen. As he took the phone to his ear, he stopped at in surprise at the sight of your face, understanding it was a video call.
“Hi, handsome,” you smiled, clearly noticing that he had thought you were phone calling him. You were still in bed, bundled up in blankets, an arm tucked under your head.
“Oh, hi beautiful,” he replied in kind, his hair dripping wet on his shoulders.
“Did I catch you in a wrong time?” you asked, looking at his naked collarbones covered in droplets of water.
“No, baby. It’s fine, I was about to get ready for my day,” he shrugged lightly and looked for a place to prop his phone so he could get dressed.
“Hannie is here,” you mentioned as Joshua placed his phone against the lamp on the bedside table.
Jeonghan lifted his head from the pillow beside yours. “Hi, Joshuji,” he chanted groggily.
“Hi, Jeonghannie,” he replied with a light smile on his face. The image of you and Jeonghan in bed was not strange to him, as that also formed part of his routine sometimes. “Did you guys just wake up?” he asked, turning to fish a pair of clean boxers from his bag.
“Yeah, like two minutes ago,” Jeonghan groaned with clear annoyance that you were already on your phone video calling Joshua.
You giggled meekly. “Don’t get grumpy,” you teased as the man shifted from his pillow to your chest, getting comfortable on top of your body.
“You don’t let me sleep, so you’ll suffer my grumpiness,” Jeonghan muttered, closing his eyes. “How are you doing, Joshuji? You look tired.”
“I am tired,” he said.
“You have bags under your eyes,” Jeonghan added with a slight mischievous smirk.
“Shut up,” he hissed, feeling his own lips stretching into a smile as well. “You look pale and wrinkly.”
“Are you sure you’re not sick?” his best friend retorted. “Maybe you should take some days off.”
“Stop it, you two,” you huffed, and Joshua giggled bemusedly at your annoyed face.
“Did you watch the videos?” Jeonghan lifted his head only to blurt out that question, you rolled your eyes at him.
“I did,” Joshua coughed out a dry chuckle. “You two have been really busy.”
He stared squarely at the screen of his phone for a second before unwrapping the towel from his waist, trying to ignore that both you and Jeonghan would see him putting on his boxers.
“Ah, a little warning next time!” Jeonghan grumbled, turning his head on your chest as you chuckled.
Chewing on your lower lip to avoid smiling wider you placed a hand on the back of Jeonghan’s head. “Are you busy today, Josh?” you asked sweetly.
Joshua could not help but smiling at the sight of you being soft with both him and Jeonghan at the same time. A warm feeling bloomed inside him. “Yeah,” he replied to your question with a sigh, fetching a t-shirt as he put it on. “I have a packed schedule today. We have to shoot a couple of interviews back-to-back. But then I’ll have a whole day to myself.”
Your fingers started playing with Jeonghan’s long dark hair. “Mmn, you should come straight back here,” you murmured softly.
“I’d love that, baby,” he replied in kind, pouting at you before giving you a smile. “I guess I could grab the earliest flight after I’m done,” he said, following your game.
You knew this was nearly impossible. Not only did Joshua had a ton of activities to do to promote his new album, but you knew how much money it was put towards transportation. Flights were expensive.
But Jeonghan turned his head over, sneaking a look back on the screen. “Our flight is in six days; we could do something.”
Joshua saw in his eyes that he had started to plan but looked at you and then back at him. “Yeah, probably. I’ll check,” Joshua said with a dismissive air, but kept looking at his best friend.
“Yeah, yeah, sure, you do that,” Jeonghan replied, but sent him a meaningful look.
“Right,” he sighed. “I gotta go, baby. I’ll call you later tonight,” he paused. “Bye, Jeonghannie.”
“Bye, Josh,” you mumbled sweetly, giving him a sad smile. “Love you.”
“I love you,” he replied.
“Love you, Shujiii,” Jeonghan chanted mockingly, grabbing the phone from your hand and ended the call.
“This color suits you.”
Joshua looked at the woman in front of him. She was young, the bright glimmer in her eyes told him that much. Her long dark hair was draped on her shoulders, covered with a nice pink blouse that was just adorned with a microphone.
“Thank you,” he replied, mustering up a kind smile.
“Where are the others?” she asked, looking around him.
“They’re getting their makeup done. They’ll be here in a couple of minutes,” he looked at his watch.
“Oh, cool. That gives me time to reread my questions,” she showed him a smirk, looking up and down her cards and then back to his eyes.
If Joshua meant to read that smirk, he kept himself from doing so. Nodding at her politely, he just stepped back. “Okay. I’ll tell them to get ready,” he lied just to excuse himself, turning back to the dressing room.
He pulled out his phone, unlocking it to find a series of texts messages from you. You usually updated him throughout the day, whenever you felt like the chat you had together was running dry.
So he found a series of photo. First it was a photo of you coming out of bed, holding a fist at the camera in sign of motivation. Have a nice day, Joshie! Your text read. The next photo was the breakfast you made for two, though obviously one plate was for Jeonghan, Joshua found himself smiling. You had made French toast, and that alone reminded you of Joshua.
The last picture was your favorite mug, broken in pieces on the floor, coffee splashed all around it. Jeonghan scared me and I dropped my mug (┬┬﹏┬┬), the text read.
But before Joshua could reply, a member of the staff working on the production of the big company they were being interviewed by called them. They had their go.
“Come on, let’s go! Let’s go, let’s go,” Jihoon chanted over and over, more to himself than to the other two members of Midnight Haze.
“Let’s go,” Vernon replied dryly, but in his own enthusiastic way.
Joshua just nodded and went along with his two bandmates, walking through the tight space of the long hallway. He grew more and more restless as he reached the end of the hall and then the double doors.
The studio was small, and it looked even more cramped by the sound and lighting equipment, the sets of cameras surrounding the set, and the people tracking every single thing that happened during the filming of the interview.
This was not the first time Midnight Haze was interviewed. But it was certainly the first time with such a big production team. This was going to be aired on TV.
And he did not know what to expect.
A very smart PR company was going with Midnight Haze since they started touring again. But not everything was under their control, and as they grew more and more famous, people would naturally start picking them apart, piece by piece.
Needless to say, Joshua was nervous. Fidgeting with the watch on his wrist. He pushed his sleeves once more to his elbows, though pointlessly since they were rolled tight.
One man indicated each member of the band where to sit. And it was not a surprise that Joshua was told to sit diagonally to the interviewer.
Anxiety hugged his chest tightly, but he tried to push it down, swallowing hard and resting his palms on his lap.
“Going on five… four… three…” the man motioned with his fingers, two, one. Go.
All the cameras blinked with a red light, rolling. Joshua Looked at Jihoon and Vernon sitting beside him, looking alive in excitement and nervousness.
“And we are back, and we have a new guest in the studio, Midnight Haze!” the interviewer said, Maddy, Joshua reminded himself, her name is Maddy. She went on to giving a brief introduction to the viewers.
Midnight Haze was an independent band that grew rapidly to success. Or dubbed in the media as, Overnight Success, which Joshua thought was a dumb way to call their years of hard work, years of making music, framing their style, doing their best to put themselves out there.
But the media loves crafting stories. That is their job.
“So tell us more about your album,” Maddy prompted, looking expectantly at the three men sitting in the nice velvety red couch.
Naturally, Joshua had taken the position to answer to these questions, since he was considered the leader of the band, being the eldest, and the frontman. So he just replied. “It’s our first studio album. We worked really really hard to make it, and it means a lot for us to get this opportunity to share it with the world.
The following question was about the production of the album, which Jihoon replied to, taking the opportunity to speak as well, since he was the one who was the most well-versed in talking about songwriting and production.
Vernon took the next question was about touring, and visiting new places, getting to know new things and try new foods.
And lastly, the interview took a turn, diving into questions that sounded more personal. At first, Joshua thought nothing of it since it was a natural thing for media to put them in a tight spot. It was like an experiment, dropping a bomb of a question and see how they would react, make a viral video out of it.
But then, Joshua felt that he was being mocked at.
“Joshua, you had recently gained a reputation of yourself. You’re a bit of a ladies’ man. Want to talk to us about it?” she read her cards, lowering them to her lap with some nervousness. Then eyeing the text on her card and then back to his face, she added. “The people want to know, is there a certain someone in your life?”
Joshua felt as though a hand had squeezed the air out of his lungs. “Uh, no, no there isn’t,” he replied, adding a cough to clear his throat. Then realizing how he was acting, he put in quickly. “I am a free man.”
Joshua Hong, you idiot. He gritted his teeth, throwing a forced smile at the interviewer.
“Free as the wind,” Jihoon added awkwardly, making Vernon squeeze his face into a grimace, chuckling.
“Well that is all the questions I have for you today. Thank you for coming here!” Maddy clasped her hands together, flashing them a corporate smile.
“Thank you for having us,” Joshua replied. The staff member signaled them that the recording was over, and the crew swept in, getting ready to call it a day.
Joshua jumped from the couch, wanting to rip the microphone from his clothes, but someone got to it first, removing it with care before he did something reckless.
He needed a drink.
He undid one button of his white shirt, sighing in frustration and deciding to head back to the van and wait for the guys there.
“Hey, can I talk to you?”
Joshua turned to see Maddy approaching him. He made sure that the mic was nowhere to be seen, but he still felt weary as he nodded.
“I’m sorry about the last question, if it felt invasive,” she muttered awkwardly, looking around her before blurting: “I didn’t write it in, I didn’t want to ask it, but the team insisted.”
“Don’t worry,” he said, though he tried to sound as understanding as possible, there was an edge to his words. “I’ll better get used to you lot and your questions, right?”
Before he could take in the hurt expression of her face, Joshua turned his back on her, heading to the van.
IS JOSHUA TELLING THE TRUTH?
That was the title to the video that had gone viral within hours. As soon as the interview went live, people started picking it apart. Some to show their true support, some for pure entertainment.
Unfortunately, the latter was the one that gained strength. In a matter of hours, Joshua started seeing a slew, of comments linking the video for him to see. And when people started messaging him, he got worried.
So he ventured on the wild river that was the internet, quickly wishing he had not done so.
The video was a mix of other pictures and videos put together. Bits and pieces of the interview where he was asked about his recent reputation, and his stiff answer were compared to what was a theory crafted by someone who called themselves a follower.
What Joshua saw made the hairs of his nape stand. Is he telling the truth? The caption to the video read. And then he saw his own face, heard his own voice deflect the rumours by saying he was single.
And then, he saw you in the video.
It was just the outline of your body, and he could barely make out your face between the shadows of the photo. He tried to figure when and where this photo was taken, growing more and more restless when he came up with nothing. One thing Joshua new, someone he did not know took this photo.
Jeonghan was in the photo as well, walking behind you, grabbing your hand. The photo framed you as Jeonghan’s girlfriend. But then, the next photo showed you as well, wearing the same outfit, Joshua entering your building with you. Is this girl Joshua’s girlfriend? That was the theory.
The video meant nothing, there could be a thousand videos put together like this. But the damning thing was that it had gained traction, and with it, people that had a million things to say.
A thing which, Joshua dreaded like nothing else.
“Isn’t this going overboard, Hannie?” you asked innocently, setting down the towel on the couch.
“Is it?” he mused, humming as he propped the tripod on the coffee table, adjusting the camera to focus on the couch, and you sitting down on it, putting your hands neatly on your lap.
“I mean you even bought a camera for this,” you muttered between your teeth.
“That’s not true, I already owned this. I did buy the tripod, though,” he pressed the record button. “Wave to the camera, baby,” he instructed softly.
“Do you think Josh will like it?” you waved at the camera aloofly as it captured your movement, adjusting to the lighting of the living room perfectly.
“Mmn, I will,” he smiled at you, rising from his knees to approach you.
You tilted your head back, looking at him with bright eyes. “I know you will, baby,” you replied cutely at him. “But I also want Josh to like it.”
Jeonghan stopped to consider the idea for a second. “I think that he’ll like it too,” he shrugged. “We’ve never talked about our preferences around porn, but I know that he likes you.”
You giggled. “Okay.”
“Ready?” he asked, pinching your chin affectionately.
“Are you?” you grinned, causing him to click his tongue. “Yes, I’m ready Hannie.”
“Lie down, baby,” he motioned to the couch with his head.
“But don’t I—,” you stopped yourself before you could ask. “Mmf,” you hummed as you moved lying your head down on one large cushion as he pressed a knee on the couch, then the other.
“I want to kiss you first,” he explained once his chest was pressed to yours. “Come here,” he whispered, grabbing your cheek with one hand as he captured your lips with his.
“Mmn,” you responded so well to his touch, arching your back on the seats, your fingers sinking in his dark hair, pushing it back.
“You know that I love you, right?” he muttered with a gruff tone, pressing another kiss on your lower lip.
You nodded. “And I love you, Hannie,” you replied with a sweet smile, moving your hands to meet his waist.
Jeonghan shuddered, your hands slipped under his white hoodie, caressing the skin of his tummy. His eyelids fluttered a little, just as he bent down to kiss you again. “Not so fast, princess,” he grunted in your mouth, parting so he could flash you a grin.
“Don’t I get to call the shots tonight?” you teased, sliding your hands up his torso.
Jeonghan snickered. “Not really,” he lifted his arms as you slipped the white hoodie off him, discarding it on the floor without much thought.
“But you’re letting me undress you,” you mused, receiving his face with your hands as he gave you another long, passionate kiss, lips smooching against each other as you hummed.
His hand found the zipper of your hoodie now, sliding it downwards. “Because you’re letting me undress you.”
You silently watched him as he slowly discovered that you wore nothing beneath that hoodie. He had suspected it when he arrived at your apartment but finding it out was even more exciting. “No bra?” he smirked when you just nodded with a sheepish grin. “Is this the same case for your panties too?” he nodded at your short pajamas.
“No, Hannie,” you giggled at his question. The sound bubbly and full of joy.
His ears perked up at this. “Are you nervous?”
“Of course I am,” you cooed, brushing a rebellious strand of hair that tangled with his long eyelashes.
“Don’t be,” he muttered. “I’ll tell you what to do.”
“I want you to like it, Hannie,” you explained, your smile fading slowly as you gave in fully to the reason of your uncertainty.
“Don’t worry, I’ll like it,” he pressed his lips in a reassuring smile.
“Because you like me?” you quipped, referring back to what he had said about Joshua.
“Ah, but this is different,” he coughed up a chuckle. “You’re the one who’s going to, how did you put it?” he tilted his head with a dramatic pause. “Fuck me?”
That made the giggle return, brightening your face. “Hannie!” you said, pushing his shoulder a little.
“You will do all the work, I’m just going to tell you how,” he shrugged slightly, given that his arm was still pressed on the couch, propping his weight.
Your smile faded once again, your eyes getting lost in the features of his beautiful face.
“What?” he noticed. “Are you starting to regret this, baby?”
“No, no,” you choked out. “I’m just—I wanna do this now,” you nodded.
“Slow down, princess,” he reminded you with a soft tone, leaning his face so he could meet your lips with his. “There’s no need to rush.”
“But I want to make you feel good,” you whispered shakily in between kisses. “Please.”
He let a soft breath through his nose. The pressure wrapping his heart was overwhelming him. “Okay,” he conceded, though it had not taken too much insisting.
You both moved on the couch, so he was now the one lying down, with you sitting on top of him. His hands reached out to grab the sides of your zip hoodie, tugging the sleeves clumsily to get them off you. You backed up, helping him take your hoodie off and dropped it on top of Jeonghan’s.
“God, you’re so beautiful,” he gasped, grabbing you by your waist as you leaned over to litter his face and neck with kisses.
“Thank you, Hannie,” you mumbled with a sigh, his hands were sliding up the line of your back, causing you to shiver. “You-you’re beautiful too.”
Jeonghan giggled. “Thanks, babe.”
You were creating a trail of kisses, starting first with his neck. He had a prominent Adam’s apple, which you kissed and adorned with a small hickey. Jeonghan tensed as you suckled on his skin, closing his eyes, and letting his mouth part.
You had never really marked him before, not because you had not wanted to, but because he would not let you. It was a game of his: not letting you touch him or pull his hair during sex, that also included hickeys.
But he was a different man now. Fully committed to you. It may be silly, but to you it seemed fair.
“Baby,” he breathed languidly, focusing on your lips on his skin only. He felt himself start to grow harder under his sweats.
“Mn?” you darted a look at him, only to find him peacefully enjoying your mouth on him.
“Keep going,” he muttered.
You smiled at him, which he did not see. But you lowered your head again, raking his chest with your fingernails as you suckled a lovebite on one of his collarbones.
It was as if the roles were reversed. You were usually the one pleading him to keep going, to go harder or faster. But in reality, you were still waiting for his command, following it with no second thought.
Slowly, you had created a small trail of red spots that led below his belly button, where he was strangely sensitive as your fingertips grazed his skin before slipping them beneath the elastic band of his boxers.
“Shit,” he whispered as you delivered another red mark on the soft hairs of his happy trail.
“You’re a bit sensitive down here, aren’t you?” you teased with a small grin.
“Shut up,” he groaned, opening his eyes to find you straightening up to tug his sweats boxers down.
You laughed at his annoyance as he pushed his hips up, letting you tug his navy-blue boxers and black sweats down, discarding his warm clothes on the floor.
You got to work at once, sitting on your knees between his legs. “Can I suck you off, Hannie?”
It was a question that he did not need to reply to. As your hand circled his shaft, he nodded, swallowing hard as you pumped him a few times, getting the tip to swell and redden with arousal rushing fast to it.
“Yeah, please do,” he murmured faintly, tipping his head back on the cushion as you pressed a kiss on his pretty cockhead.
“Hmm,” you breathed, wrapping your mouth around it, tasting the salty precum leaking from the slit. “Have I ever told you that I think your cock is pretty?”
Jeonghan started chuckling, chest vibrating with the sound of it. “That was the first thing you said when you looked at it, baby,” he remarked, reminiscing of the first night you saw him naked.
“Mn, I think it’s pretty,” you nodded aloofly, pumping him on his base as you leaned your head to take him back into your mouth.
“All yours,” he whispered, parting his lips in pleasure as you bobbed your head on him, sliding your mouth on his cock. “God, you’re so good at this.”
All he heard was a muffled laugh. His hands grabbed your hair, eyes shut tightly as you continued to give him head him eagerly, slurping sounds coming from your mouth as you sucked him off as if your life depended on it. Your tongue swirled around his cockhead, sucking his length every time you pulled your head up.
“Fuck, fuck,” he gritted, seeing stars. “Baby, stop—stop. I don’t wanna come so soon.”
You pulled out of his cock a second after his rushed pleas came out of his mouth, looking at him wide eyed as he breathed hard. His fingers slipped off your hair, hands falling on his sides languidly as he eyed you meekly.
“All good?” you whispered.
He nodded with his head on the large cushion. “Yeah,” his mouth slowly stretched in a smile. “All good.”
You leaned over his body when his hand reached out to grab you, cupping your cheek as you met his lips with your own. You moaned into the kiss when his tongue swiftly swiped a line on your lower lip, finding your tongue with a moan on his part.
“Are you wet, baby?” he asked, his voice thickened with arousal.
“Don’t you want to find that out?” you smirked playfully at him.
“Tsk,” he tutted. “You’re bratty today.”
But you giggled in triumph when his hand sneaked down your lower tummy, past the band of your pajama shorts and panties to cup your pussy, feeling the warmth and wetness pooling in there.
“Princess, you’re soaked,” he gasped, feeling your panties damp against the back of his fingers. “Do you enjoy sucking me off that much?”
You stole a kiss nodding at him, a moan escaping between your lips when he dipped a finger inside your entrance, followed by another.
“Mm, baby, I want to feel you right now,” he purred in your mouth, pumping his fingers in and out, but doing it teasingly, knowing that it would get you nowhere near your climax.
“Oh, y-yes, Hannie,” you curled up against him, pushing your hips towards his hand, trying to get him to reach the spot in your walls you liked him to finger so much. You pushed your pajama shorts down to your knees, tugging your panties down as well in eagerness.
Jeonghan smiled, seeing that you were so distracted by your newfound pleasure that you forgot what the plan was initially. “So you don’t want to fuck me anymore?” he teased playfully, conscious of the word choice he was using.
Your eyes fluttered open, a light frown appearing on your face. “No—I still want to.”
You clumsily stepped out of your pajama shorts and your ruined panties, discarding them also with the rest of the clothes on the floor. Now, you were both fully unclothed and ready for each other.
Your cheeks were painted with heat, lips glossy and puckered as you sneaked a kiss on Jeonghan’s lips. “Tell me what to do?” you muttered, your tone quivering but still managing to sound cute to his ears.
“Relax,” he instructed first, squeezing your hip fondly. “Grab the bottle of lube, Princess,” he told you softly, and you reached back for the bottle of lube that you almost forgot on the coffee table, taking the freedom to also grab the toy sitting beside it.
Jeonghan pushed one knee up, the sole of his foot still planted on the couch as you scooted closer between his legs. “Remember how we do this, baby?” he called, making you yank your gaze from his naked body splayed on the couch and found his eyes.
It took you a second to understand what he was implying. You gulped hard, nodding quietly as the memory of Joshua fucking your ass flashed through your mind. Or the times when Jeonghan fucked you from behind, his fingers playing with your puckered hole, while shoving his cock in your pussy.
The bottle of lube emitted a soft clicking noise when you opened it. Reminding yourself to breathe, you spread the cold lube on the pads of your fingers, trying to rub them together as you leaned over towards Jeonghan. You kissed him softly at first, his hands roaming all over your body made you moan into his mouth, deepening the kiss.
Your fingers trailed down, heart beating faster inside you when Jeonghan adjusted his hips for you, making it easier to find the path down his shaft. A shudder ran down your spine when you sneaked a look down his body, finding out how hard his cock was, precum leaking out of the tip and falling on his skin.
Beneath your nervousness, you found a reason to smile at him. “Have I ever told you that I think you have a cute ass?”
“I would remember something like that,” he giggled, his perfect set of teeth.
You leaned down, pressing a kiss on his teeth. “You have a cute ass, Jeonghan,” you mumbled.
“It’s funny because I don’t have any,” he mumbled, groaning quietly when your fingers make their way down the shaft of his cock, grazing his ball sack with the back of your fingers. “Joshua has a cuter ass. It’s rounder than mine.”
You laughed at his statement, uttered in a rush. “How do you know?” you retorted. The pads of your fingers pushed down on his puckered hole, gently at first, tentative.
A small grunt escaped his lips, his body tensing slightly on the couch. “It’s okay, keep going,” he put in gently, closing his eyes briefly. “It’s just cold,” he smiled shyly. “Oh, I know,” he sent his gaze to the ceiling. “Shua use to let me use it as a stress ball sometimes.”
“Really?” you mumbled, outlining his features with your gaze. Enjoying the dazed look in his eyes. “What changed?” you asked, pressing kisses on his lips as you pushed your finger in, feeling his muscles relax and contract around you.
“Well, you came along. And here we are now.”
“Here we are,” you grinned, pushing the tip of your finger further in. “Hannie?”
“Don’t worry, baby. You’re good,” he showed you a smile.
That emboldened you to keep going.
“You can use two now,” he mumbled, grabbing you by your hip, clenching your skin softly.
You recalled all those times Joshua used his fingers to prep you, a wave of arousal coursing through your body when you saw Jeonghan swallow a moan, when your lubed fingers went further in a bit, spreading him open gently. You remembered how it felt like, and you felt like moaning too.
“More,” he rasped, closing his eyes, a soft sigh brushing your lips.
Your body grew tense with excitement when you saw him bite his lower lip. His hand shifted on your hip, finding your tits to knead, his thumbs brushing your nipples, swirling the pads around them, getting them hard.
“Hannie,” you mewled, shuddering against his touch. Your skin prickled, he fiddled your nipples between his pointer and middle fingers, palming your breasts with a low hum from his part.
“Use the toy now,” he instructed, giving you a slight nod with his head in reassurance.
You bristled with anticipation, sitting back on your heels to grab the toy with one hand and the bottle of lube with the other. “Should I put it on first?” you asked innocently, looking at the double ended toy that allows you to feel pleasure as well.
“If you want to, baby,” he said.
You decided to do something before putting it on yourself. Smearing some lube on your hand, you lubed the dildo up, sneaking a look at your boyfriend as he noticed your shaking fingers.
“Relax, baby,” he reminded you. “I’m going to like it.”
Jeonghan tilted his hips for you, sucking in a breath when you used your lubed fingers to spread him open. His own hand coming in to help you as you pressed the tip of the dildo against his puckered hole.
Glancing up his face and down his body, you continued to push in, slowly, shallowly thrusting the toy as his mouth fell open, his eyelids fluttering as he closed them with a small sigh. You retracted the toy using more lube with your fingers to thrust another inch in, slowly.
“Fuck, baby,” he chocked out his hand snapping to grab your wrist. His eyes were blown wide with lust. “Put it on, now,” he commanded.
You nodded silently, pulling out the toy gently as he reached out to grab the remote controller from the coffee table. “Wait, Hannie, are you sure?” you asked, the toy flashing a single led light, ready to be used.
“Yeah,” he replied shortly. “I need you to feel it too.”
The end that you were using was a smaller vibrator that attached itself to the dildo with a magnet, that way you did not have to use a harness and were able to feel pleasure too. Jeonghan took the vibrator from you, realizing that he also had spread lube on his fingers and pushed himself from the cushions of the couch to press the pads of his fingers against your pussy.
“Hannie!” you flinched, surprised that in seconds he had moved that fast.
“I need you right now,” he explained with a gruffy edge on his tone, his fingers rubbing lube on your messy cunt.
“F-fuck, I’m sorry,” you squirmed, as he sent you a look before nudging the tip of the smaller vibrator on your entrance.
“It’s okay,” he whispered, pushing in the vibrator inside you. It was bulbous but designed to lodge itself inside your walls. “Ready?”
“Y-yeah,” you nodded nervously, leaning your body over as he lied down again. You bit your lower lip, nudging the tip of the larger vibrator against his hole, feeling emboldened by the reassuring look he sent you.
“God, fuck,” Jeonghan gasped, his body tensing on the couch as you inserted the vibrator by pushing your hips towards his, thrusting shallowly, and clumsily. “Fuck, k-keep going, baby.”
Jeonghan took one big gulp of air, and you mimicked the action unknowingly right before you retracted your hips, a hand flying to hold onto his thigh as you met his hips with your own, penetrating him fully.
“God, princess,” he groaned languidly, jaws tightly clenching together as his face contracted in pleasure.
“You okay?” you mumbled, eyeing his finger on the remote.
“Yes, baby,” he smiled, finding your worry endearing.
“I just—fuck, Jeonghan!” you screamed at him when the vibrator inside you came to life, sending strong pulsations on your walls, on that glorious spot it was lodged in. “Warn me next time!”
“There she is,” he muttered, biting the tip of his tongue as he too relished at the feeling of the vibrations running inside him. He patted your hip with one hand. “Move, baby, I need you.”
Your other hand found his hip, as you retreated yours to meet right back in, swaying them gently, pushing the vibrator to massage him slowly at first. You moaned, feeling the toy work its miracle inside you as it was inside him.
But his face was a complete mirage, he was biting his lower lip, his half-lidded eyes on you the whole time as you thrusted your hips against him. It was hard to find a pace you could keep, you felt stiff and clumsy. But once Jeonghan’s mouth parted, giving way a series of sweet moans, you found your goal to elicit more sounds from him.
Your hands found his thigh, wordlessly motioning to lift it, pressing it against his chest. Another raunchy moan came out of his lips as you moved your hips on him faster, making him grab your ass to follow the motion of your thrusts.
“Fuck, baby,” he groaned lewdly, his voice thick with arousal. “Princess, touch me, please.”
You frowned before you sent a look down his body. Your fingers circled his hard cock, pumping him at the same pace your hips were meeting his. His moans became louder, harder to control as he shut his eyes tightly. “Right there, baby,” he rasped, his eyes teary.
“Oh, Hannie,” you moaned, hips rutting against him desperately, the vibrator pulsating inside you harder every time you hit your hips clashed with his. His face, riddled with pleasure made it impossible for you to hold it any longer.
“God, baby,” he gasped, his eyebrows drawn in. “I’m g-gonna come,” he whispered, closing his eyes for a long second.
And then he started making the sweetest, rawest sounds you have ever heard in your life, his lower lip was trapped behind his teeth, moans coiling in his throat as you fucked him through his high. Ropes of cum spurted from his tip, landing on his tummy, and just kept leaking, eliciting a moan from you.
You looked at your fist, the back of your fingers coated with Jeonghan’s cum. “Baby,” you gasped, realizing that he was still heaving. “Okay?”
Jeonghan chuckled lazily. “Princess, I swear,” he drawled. “That was amazing,” he said with a long sigh.
You giggled cutely at his face, relaxed with the aftershocks of his orgasm. “Let me go get something to clean you up,” you muttered, using your hand on his hip for support as you retracted your hips back.
He moaned, shuddering when you carefully pulled out the toy from him. “Thank you, baby,” he whispered, resting his head back on the cushions.
The living room was even quieter when you returned, thinking that Jeonghan might have fallen asleep as you went to the bathroom to wash your hands and to get wet hand towel.
But no, his head turned to follow your movements with his gaze, he had been waiting for you starting at the ceiling.
You decided to straddle him, sitting on his thighs comfortably to wipe the cum from his tummy with gentle motions. “So,” you started, a smile playing on your lips. “You’ve grabbed Joshua’s ass?”
Jeonghan let out a breathy chuckle, the corners of his eyes wrinkling. “Ah, I should’ve known you wouldn’t let that go.”
“Answer my question,” you quipped.
“Yeah, I have. Why is that important?” he rumbled, sending a look to the camera that was still rolling.
You followed his gaze, finding the blinking red light of the device. “What, you don’t want this recorded?” he gave you a look. “Why? You could always cut it out,” you shrugged.
“It’s going to be a bitch to edit,” he sighed heavily. “You know what, fuck it. Yes, I used to have a crush on him.”
The shock upon hearing that was like nothing else. “Used to?” you raised your eyebrows.
“Long ago, baby,” he rolled his eyes. “Like waaaay before he met you.”
“Does Joshua know?” you asked at once, heartbeat stammering hard and fast against your chest.
“Does he…” he repeated, dumbfounded. His frown eased. “Of course he knows, baby. I told him. Besides, he already suspected it when we talked about it.”
“He did?” you gaped at him. “Well, you were either too open about it or he was exceptionally good at noticing.”
“Yeah, okay, it wasn’t just a crush,” he rolled his eyes, chuckling dryly with an awkward air surrounding him as he caressed your thighs. “I liked him quite a lot. It was embarrassing.”
“Why embarrassing?” you giggled sweetly. “Hannie, why did you never tell me this?”
“For obvious reasons,” he replied. “It happened long ago, baby. It doesn’t even matter now.”
Bewildered, you huffed. To think that Jeonghan has had feelings for you and Joshua was something that would take you a little bit of time to digest.
“So what happened?” you pried even more. “When you talked about it, how did Joshua react?”
Jeonghan pouted, humming in thought. “It’s simpler than you think, baby. I trust him, and he trusts me. I told him that I liked him, he told me nothing would happen between us. So I put a stop to what I felt, and never risked losing him as a friend again…”
Until you came along, the words were not said, but they echoed between you and him.
“You put a stop to what you felt?” you echoed confusedly.
“I did. I forgot about it eventually. If you’re thinking that I still have feelings for him, I don’t,” he chuckled dryly. “If that wasn’t obvious already…”
“It’s not obvious, Hannie,” you retorted. “I mean, you’ve had sex with him–I mean, not with him, but with me while he’s there too. That doesn’t make you think that you might still have a crush on him?”
“No,” he replied at once. “That happened long ago, and it was for a brief time, baby.”
“I’m just curious,” you shrugged, shyly looking at him. “You know? You’re in a relationship with me and him, in a way…”
“Yeah, I know how it looks. And yes, it is weird at times, but he’s still my best friend,” he brushed the back of his finger down your cheek. “I love you, and I’m happy being with you.”
You smiled, leaning to press a sweet kiss on his lips. “I love you too, Hannie.”
“So what’s next?” he asked, his tone was still languid. “What’s next on the list?”
“Do you want more, Hannie?” you asked, teasingly.
There was no list. But when you mentioned to him you wanted to try out new things, Jeonghan wasted no time and got to work.
“Not right now,” he sighed a smile. “But I wanna know what you would like to do next.”
“Mmn, we tried pegging, car sex—”
“How come you’ve had anal sex with me, but I haven’t had anal with you?” he blurted, knowing what the bold wording would do to you.
“Hannie!” you squealed, scandalized.
“It’s just a question!” he coughed out a silly giggle.
“We could try that next,” you shrugged.
“Mm, but we could do that later,” he said, stroking one of your arms languidly. “I want to do the crazy shit. Ever had sex in a pool?”
“No, Hannie,” you giggled. “I don’t think that’s sanitary.”
“Maybe just a little fondling,” he shrugged with one shoulder.
You rolled your eyes dismissively. “Mmn,” you drew out your hum this time. “I want to do it in an open space some day,” you mumbled.
“Like in a beach, or something?” he mused.
“No–not a beach. I don’t like sand sticking to my skin,” you shuddered.
Jeonghan found that cute, and his smile made tiny dimples show on his chin. “Then where, baby? We could go camping.”
“I’d like that,” you whispered, lost in his sweet eyes. “With Josh too.”
“Of course, princess,” he conceded, wanting nothing else but to make you happy. “Now, could you stop the recording, please?” he chuckled again. “I really don’t want to cut out more footage.”
“Okay, okay,” you huffed, moving to reach out for the button to stop the recording, thinking of what Joshua’s reaction would be if he heard the conversation you just had with Jeonghan.
Joshua stood alone in the balcony of his hotel room, sitting on a dusty chair. Biting the tip of his thumb, he waited on the line for you to pick up the call.
“Hi beautiful,” he mumbled, starting to fidget with a loose thread of his sweats.
“Hi handsome!” you chirped right away.
“How are you, baby?” he sighed, heart, stammering uncontrollably in his chest.
“I’m good, I was working on my draft,” you replied, and he could tell by your tone alone that you were in a good mood.
He closed his eyes briefly. He could not do this to you.
“That sounds good,” he replied. “Hey–”
“How are you, Josh?” you asked.
“I’m fine, baby. Just tired,” he croaked.
“You sound tired,” you pointed.
“Yeah, I just got to the room. I’ve had a ton of work these past few days. And tomorrow a show, and can’t sleep right,” he grumbled.
“Why don’t you try?” you asked, sighing a smile. “I know, I’m the one to talk, but you usually don’t have issues sleeping.”
“Yeah it’s just that… I want to talk to you about something,” he drew in a breath, thinking of how to go over the thing that haunted his mind.
“Sure, what do you want to talk about?” you waited as he gathered his thoughts, then: “Is this about the video?” you asked promptly.
“You—do you know about that?” he let go of a huge exhale. “Why didn’t you say something?”
“Because it doesn’t matter, Josh,” you replied. “I just want to know that you’re alright.”
“A-are you—what do you mean it doesn’t matter?” he frowned.
“Nobody knows it’s me, right?” you mused. “Aside from the people who know that is me in the photos, nobody knows.”
“But they’re saying awful things about you,” he mumbled, brimming with remorse.
“I haven’t seen any,” you replied, and he knew by your tone that you shrugged. “Even if I did, I don’t care, Josh,” you insisted. “The only thing I care about is you.”
“I… I am not doing okay,” the confession made a knot in his throat. “You know I didn’t want anything like this to happen.”
There was a pause. Joshua felt his own heart beating in his throat.
“Babe, we both knew this would happen. At least I was aware of that when I started dating a popular rock singer,” you giggled sweetly. “That’s why I don’t let it affect me.”
“But what about…”
“My career?” you sighed heavily. “I don’t know yet, nothing has changed so I won’t worry about it.”
Joshua lied perplexed at your nonchalance. “Okay…”
“Do you feel better now?” you asked, your tone sugary and warm. “I don’t want you to stress over things you can’t control,” you reminded him.
“You’re right,” he mumbled, bringing his other hand to cover his face. “I’m sorry. I just…”
“There is nothing to forgive here,” you replied. “I love you, I wouldn’t get mad at you for something like this.”
“I love you too, bunny,” he replied. And even though your words did alleviate part of the turbulence in his heart, there was one thing that remained, one thing he needed to talk to you about.
But he could push it down. For now.
Joshua went back inside, closing the door to the balcony and drew the blinds down. Throwing himself to the hard bed of the hotel room, he ignored the busy noise from the streets outside the window.
The lights were off, so he thought of trying to sleep. It was early, so that could give him ample time to try to fall asleep. He closed his eyes, slowing down his breathing. The buzzing noise from outside, and the normal hotel room sounds were distracting. That and the cold, firmness of the mattress.
What he would give to sleep next to you, he thought. To be wrapped by your warmth, to hear those sweets sounds you make, to feel your body pressed against his.
He sighed heavily. The screen of his phone lit up, and that was reason enough to give up trying.
The notification was from Jeonghan. It was another video. This one was longer than any of those he already had uploaded to the shared private folder.
From the thumbnail, Joshua got a sudden rush of excitement. A distraction for the night. It was as if Jeonghan knew what Joshua needed.
The video was one of the most daring that you have sent him so far. Between car sex, public sex and such, this one was where he could see just how far Jeonghan could take you. You were on top of Jeonghan, pleasuring him with a toy.
Joshua saw in your face how entranced you were in the moment, pushing the toy in and out of him, smiling softly whenever Jeonghan moaned raunchily. Then, when you inserted the other end of the toy inside you, and started moving your hips on him, Joshua could not resist himself any longer.
He begun toying with his own dick, looking at Jeonghan’s dripping with precum. His hands on your ass, guiding your thrusts inside him. You pushed one of his thighs to his chest, picking the pacing of your hips against his.
A moan bubbled in Joshua’s chest, shuddering with overwhelming pleasure as you begun stroking Jeonghan’s cock, continuing to push the toy inside him, making the man moan obscenely.
For a moment, Joshua was not sure why he felt this aroused. Was it because of how you were fucking Jeonghan? Was it because he wanted to be in Jeonghan’s place? Or was it because he wanted to be in your place?
The thoughts swam in his mind, but he knew he had been holding them for a while now. However, he ignored tried pushing them away, tucking his hand beneath his sweats and boxers, pulling out his cock to alleviate the pressure building up.
He released a sigh between his teeth, caressing his hard cock. He watched your hips moving on him, Jeonghan’s face riddled with pleasure, your hand stroking him at the same pace of your thrusts.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Joshua gritted.
“God, baby… I’m g-gonna come,” Jeonghan gasped lewdly, letting out a long, raspy groan.
You were moaning with Jeonghan, both looking at each other as you came apart in the couch. The sight was so alluring, so lewd that Joshua felt like moaning with you and Jeonghan, knowing that there was no turning back from this.
He pumped himself faster, the wet sounds created by his own hand on his cock complimented the sounds from your skin slapping against Jeonghan’s, your hand on his cock, your moans, Jeonghan’s moans. Ropes of cum spurted from him at the same time Jeonghan came in the video, driving that confusion deeper inside his brain.
Panting, Joshua stared at the screen, replaying the video, trying to figure out why he felt that blow to his heart.
Was it jealousy? What was it?
Joshua stared at the lights hanging from the ceiling. The brick walls surrounding him were adorned with provocative art, there was a drum set to his left, his guitar sitting in front of him in a stand.
The studio was owned by one of his friends. When Midnight Haze made a stop in the city, Min Yoongi was the first to call them, offering to talk about music while having some drinks. While the other guys went out to buy booze, Joshua fell behind, deciding to rest in the meantime.
He was splayed on a sofa. Cadaver style, hands clasped on his chest.
Well, he felt like dying indeed. That is how bad his anxiety got. Dangerous thoughts swam in his mind, but he blew them away with a sigh.
It had gone dark. The studio was littered with the remnants of the booze the guys had. Vernon decided to call it a night, drunkenly heading back to his hotel room. Jihoon and Yoongi were on the rooftop having a smoke.
Kim Taehyung gathered his long wavy hair with his hands, brushing it back and messily, grabbing the band he trapped with his teeth and securing his hair in half a ponytail. He had started touring with his band Green Nocturne, opening for Midnight Haze for the upcoming shows.
Searching his side, he found his phone between the cushions of the smelly couch and unlocked it, finding the folder with the series of videos of you and Jeonghan, and videos of himself.
He quickly closed the app, heart jolting nervously in his chest.
“So, what do you want to do?” he released a sigh, crossing his arms on his chest.
Joshua raised his eyebrows in question. “I thought you were showing me some lyrics?”
“Ah, yeah, pfff, right,” he replied, humming as he searched for something, patting the pockets of his jeans, and then looking around.
Joshua moved from the old couch to sit on one corner of a large table, grabbing his tablet where he wrote lyrics or notes for his music.
“Where is that fucking thing,” Taehyung mumbled under his breath. “I swear if I lost it again…”
“This is the one I was telling you about,” Joshua pushed the tablet across the table to the side where Taehyung was standing.
The man stopped his search for his phone and took one look at the screen. “Oh, is this it?” he sent a glance and then read the screen, his fingers grazing the pages where Joshua poured a little bit of his heart.
He nodded a thing that Taehyung did not see.
“Dude, why are you getting rid of these?” Taehyung frowned, his eyes meeting Joshua’s. “These are good! I can even imagine a sound to these. A Midnight Haze sound, not my sound.”
Joshua shook his head slowly. “They’re too specific.”
“Is this because of that viral video?” Taehyung’s gaze softened with shame. “Yeah, I saw it,” he explained before Joshua could even ask. “Don’t even worry about it. It’s fucking bullshit, man.”
“It’s true.”
The man paused, eyes flickering on Joshua’s features.
“It’s true, everything they said about me,” Joshua was rigid with rage, but he tried not to let it show in his eyes. “You even saw it, man. The night of the party.”
“I saw nothing,” Taehyung shrugged with ease. “What I saw was two people having fun, loving each other. It is none of my business.”
Joshua knew that Taehyung had seen you hand in hand with Jeonghan, and he also saw you exchange a steamy moment in a secluded hallway. Joshua let out a sigh. “I appreciate that, but that’s why I can’t use these,” he pointed at the screen with the tip of his nose. “I can’t have more online theories about her.”
Taehyung let out a thinking sound. “I don’t want to take something so close to you, man,” he smiled shyly. “You shouldn’t be afraid of using them.”
That felt like a needle piercing his heart. “I can’t,” the feeling made his voice quiver, reducing it to a whisper. He had to protect you. And Jeonghan.
“Can I ask?” Taehyung sat on the corner of the table too, so now they were both facing each other.
“Sure,” he shrugged. He trusted Taehyung, and right now, he needed a friend who was closer to his career and his personal life.
“Are you guys… is she really your ex?” he asked, the tip of his tongue pushing his lower lip from the inside.
“No,” he shook his head, the question sent an inevitable shudder through him.
“Is she his girlfriend? Jeonghan’s?” he asked slowly, but the look on his face told Joshua that he was getting a broader idea of where this was going.
“We’re in a polycule,” he explained, trying to come off as nonchalant as he could, but in reality, he still struggled to be open with something that was so precious to him. “I don’t want to make it public, so.”
“Ah,” he mouthed, nodding his head. “Yeah, I get it.”
“Can I ask, then?” Joshua returned, cautiously sending him a knowing look.
“Ask away.”
“How did you manage it?” he rolled his eyes, searching for words. “Your relationship with Baek?”
“Well, it was easy because everyone wanted to pair me with every woman I even so glanced at,” Taehyung huffed with slight annoyance. “So the world resorted to making me a womanizer and Baekhyun was just my best friend, you know.”
Joshua nodded in silence, even if that answered his question, he still felt like there was something missing.
“But then Jimin came along, and everything started getting messy,” Taehyung added, much as if he realized that there was something unanswered lingering in the air. “It sort of died down when I started dating Mimi. But I guess that didn’t stick either.”
Even though there was not much to correlate that situation to his own, Joshua felt some sense of semblance. Having a humane conversation with someone who understood what distress comes with this kind of life brought a soothing hug to his heart.
“Is it fun at least? Being in a poly,” Taehyung smiled slightly as he asked.
“Fun?” Joshua uttered, as though the word were foreign to him. “Yeah, I mean, he’s my best friend and I love her. So.”
“What do you mean?” he cocked one eyebrow. “Oh, you mean you’re only with her and not Jeonghan as well?”
“Yeah, that’s what I mean.”
“I assumed because of Jeonghan…” now he looked even more intrigued. “So you’re not bi as well?”
Even though the questions were heavily personal, Joshua did not feel uncomfortable. “Nope,” he frowned. “Well…”
There was a silence. Kim Taehyung waited, looking at Joshua as he gathered his thoughts with his heart strumming hard in his chest. To finally voice his thoughts about this aloud was panic-inducing for him, but for some reason, he was sure he could trust Taehyung.
“I don’t know,” Joshua let out finally, panic hugging his heart tightly. “It’s weird. Because there is no one else I’d rather share my partner with but him. I think I would have gone crazy if Bunny told me she had feelings for a different person. But when she told me about Jeonghan… I understood. Like it was meant to be.”
For a moment, it felt as though he were alone in the room, letting his deepest thoughts come out without any remorse, nor fear that he would be judged. That was the moment he knew.
“But I did feel jealousy. Part of me was certain that it was because I could not tolerate that Bunny had feelings for another man,” Joshua’s gaze swam upwards, finding the smoke-yellowed ceiling. “But I know now that my jealousy also came from the way that Jeonghan dropped everything to be with her. He was willing to lose our friendship for her, he cared about her, loved her, and… I was jealous of that.”
“But—,” Taehyung shook his head ever so slightly, much as if he were discarding a thought. “Sorry. I just need to ask, are you jealous that he’s paying attention to her… do you want that attention for yourself?”
Joshua found the strength to nod his head. “I think that it was when Jeonghan started to fall in love for her when I begun to wonder. What if…” he paused, his courage dying down for a minute. But he pushed himself: “What if I also want to receive the same love and attention that he gives her? Why do I want that?”
Taehyung showed him a wide smile. “Why don’t you try and talk to him about it? You know, go for it,” he offered his solution.
“He’s my best friend. What if it doesn’t go the way I want it to?” he shrugged in a defeated way. “I don’t want to make things even more awkward.”
The man huffed with genuine disbelief. “But you said it!” he giggled. “He is your best friend. I am pretty sure that he will understand.”
“What if he doesn’t?” Joshua insisted, his head tilting to one side.
“You never know if you never try,” his friend replied, a winning grin spreading on his lips.
“True,” Joshua conceded.
“Do you think she’ll understand?” Taehyung asked cautiously.
Joshua remembered the day you told both him and Jeonghan that you would be okay if things went that road. “Yeah. Of course. She’d have no problem with it.”
Now it was just a matter of his indecision.
“Then just try,” his friend nodded at him in encouragement.
He did not want to lose what he had with you and Jeonghan. He did not want things to take a turn for the worse.
You were sitting down on the couch, reading a book while sipping on a hot cup of tea.
The room was lit with a warm light coming from the lamp standing beside the couch, vibrant in color and soft tones of jazz coming from the flat screen. The whole apartment smelled of detergent and fabric softener, and the hum emitted by the dryer sounded far in the background.
You sighed, turning a page over, and continued reading. You had been immersed in this book for a while, every now and then you would express it on your face, pouting, eyes widening, or even gasping sometimes.
That was Joshua’s entertainment sometimes. He would sit on the armchair across from you and pretend to play some chords on his guitar, but in reality, all he did was watch you. Study the way your eyes would fly through the lines written on the pages.
But this time around, you noticed. “Are you okay, babe?” you asked, lifting your gaze from the book as you took one sip from your tea.
“Just watching you, Ms. Hong,” he mumbled with a soft smile.
“I know,” you smiled knowingly. “I noticed, Mr. Hong.”
“I’m fine, baby,” he gave you a slow blink.
In his head, Joshua was cluttered with thoughts of the future. He wished he got the chance to meet you earlier in his life before he made the decision to give himself into his plans of being a musician.
The nagging urge to quit everything and just continue to have this quiet life with you haunted him. Sometimes the impulse overtook him, sending a rush of anxiety through his veins, much as if he needed to stand up and run away from something. He knew what it was, it was time coming to an end.
Granted, he never really felt like this was his life. He settled in with you, but this still felt like it was your apartment. It was your couch, your flatscreen. He just brought in his clothes and his guitar.
He felt like a guest in someone else’s life. Like this was life’s way to mock him. A what if in which Joshua Hong never dedicated his life to making music. This is what would have become of him. He would have been with you freely and loving you aloud.
Who knows, maybe he would have given you a ring already. Maybe he would have asked you to join him in an adventure together for the rest of your lives, far away from the spotlight.
You rose to your feet, leaving your book behind and approached him with a determination that he loved to see in you. He lifted his gaze to your eyes as you stood before him.
Carefully, you took his acoustic guitar from his grasp, placing it on the couch and turned to him. Joshua looked at you expectantly, knowing what would come next. He just opened his arms, embracing you as you sat on his lap.
“What is going on inside that head of yours?” you asked, eyeing him with curiosity as you wrapped your arms around his neck.
“You,” he breathed, heart beating faster in his chest.
That made you smile. “I’m here, Josh,” you giggled.
He brought a finger to your face, touching the tip of your nose affectionately. “I’m just thinking that you’re cute,” he scrunched his nose, smiling.
“Thank you, baby,” you replied, batting your eyelashes as you looked at his eyes, then his lips. “You are cute too.”
In the distance, the dryer went off with a short tune, signaling that the clothes were dry and ready to unload. The sound drove your eyes elsewhere, and you made a motion to stand up from his lap.
“No, no,” he whispered. “Don’t go anywhere.”
“I’ll just take a minute, Josh,” you said, giggling at him cutely when his arms pulled you closer to him. “Clingy,” you whispered, using your finger to touch the tip of his nose.
Joshua Hong opened his eyes, groaning with exhaustion against the hard pillows of the hotel bed. A dull pain wrapped around his heart, hurting even more with each second that passed and he slowly came to grips with reality.
He turned over, face down on the mattress, pushing his face against the pillows to feel something else other than the loneliness gripping him. He hugged himself, trying not to cry at the memory of you still clinging to his mind, seeing your face in his dreams, hearing your voice, he felt you in his dreams. It felt too real.
It was not a dream entirely, that did happen sometime before he left on tour. That day, he was thinking of quitting the band, quitting that life altogether so that he could start a life with you. The anxiety he felt for leaving you and his quiet life with you was eating him whole, just like it was now.
It was still early; he could just quit. They could find another singer, another person to fill in his shoes. Hell, maybe that person would be more fitting for Midnight Haze and would do a more decent job than him. Maybe that person will be happier in his place.
The pressure burst in his chest, like a punch in his gut, robbing him of air in an instant. Joshua pushed himself from the mattress, drawing in a big gulp of air, then another, then another.
The veins of his forearms begun to flare, arms shaking on the neat bed sheets, losing strength to prop his body up. His vision turned blurry, a loud buzzing sound blocking his eardrums, the only thing letting him know he was a live was the hard thumping of his heart against his ribcage.
He managed to turn over, gripping his chest with one hand as he tried at calming himself down, trying to slow down his own sharp intakes of breath to slower and deeper ones.
What snapped him out of it was the buzzing of his head dying down at the loud chiming of his phone. It took him some seconds to yank his gaze from the empty void in front of him and he looked at the screen of his phone. Yoon Jeonghan’s photo displaying on it.
“Joshujiiii,” Jeonghan chanted as soon as Joshua picked his call.
Joshua frowned when the sound sent a soothing feeling inside him, calming his heart at once. “He-hey, Hannie,” he croaked.
“Oh, did I just wake you up?” his best friend giggled. “Sorry about that, I can call later.”
“No, no,” he muttered quickly, trying to use the conversation to drive his attention away from his worries. “What’s up?”
“Are you coming over?” he asked, seriousness now lacing his tone.
“When? Tonight?”
“Yep. I know you didn’t say it as a joke,” he said, and by the way he pronounced each syllable, Joshua knew his friend was munching on something.
“I wasn’t being serious when I said it,” Joshua explained with sigh. “Bu-but there is a possibility,” he admitted.
“I knew it,” Jeonghan muttered with some kind of victory. “So? Are you taking a flight here? Then we could go back to where your big show is, all of us.”
“Yeah,” Joshua muttered weakly, bringing a hand to rub the corners of his eyes. “I’d like that.”
“Yeah?” he imagined his friend raising his eyebrows. “Well, I could find a plane ticket for you without Princess finding out. We could make it into a surprise for her.”
A smile crept on his face hearing Jeonghan bringing you up like this. His best friend, his partner in crime who loved you so much it warmed Joshua’s own heart. “Send me prices and everything. I’ll send you my details.”
“Sure,” he chirped. “You know, she will love seeing you. She misses you so bad even I’m starting to miss you too.”
Joshua was no idiot. He knew the reason behind that choice of words. You were worried about him, and even though you would not ask Jeonghan to intervene, this was his way of telling Joshua what was going on in your mind.
“Jeonghan,” he paused. “I’m fine.”
“No, you don’t sound fine,” Jeonghan huffed. “I can hear the snot in your voice. You’ve been crying.”
“Agh, really, Jeonghan. Sometimes I wish you weren’t so fucking tactless,” he groaned, rubbing two pads of his fingers on his brow.
“I’m just telling it how it is,” he imagined his friend shrugging with ease. “I wish you weren’t so fucking emotionally constipated.”
“Yeah, well not everyone can get what they wish,” he muttered with a sharp jab piercing his gut.
“Now you’re being emo, again,” Jeonghan retorted with a low chuckle that died a second before his tone went back to serious. “Seriously, Shuji, is everything okay? Do you want to talk?”
“Don’t worry about it,” Joshua quickly said. “We can talk later.”
“Mmn, okay. I’ll send you the info about the ticket in a bit.”
“I’ll send you my details,” Joshua paused. “Hannie?”
“Yes?”
“Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me, Joshuji,” he replied, seemingly knowing about Joshua’s situation without even being there, just by the sound of his voice. “I’ll see you later, okay?”
You stretched your arms over your head, releasing a long groan as your muscles complained with you after sitting down on your chair for four hours without breaks. Content with your progress, even though it was little, you pushed yourself away from the desk and rose to your feet.
The mug had been left empty, aside from the bag of tea in it. You grabbed it as you made your way out of the office and went to the kitchen. You strode on the floor with your fuzzy socks on, feeling a sense of accomplishment at seeing your recently cleaned apartment.
Jeonghan would get out from work in a couple of hours and come to see you. That was the little routine you both had. You worked the same amount of hours that he did, and when he came home, you would stop typing and spend time with him.
You smiled to yourself. The day you would go visit Joshua drew nearer too, and it made you excited that you were going with Jeonghan too. It felt nice to have a stronger relationship with both of them, and it was also nice to see that they were closer.
As the electric kettle made a bubbly noise boiling the water, you tapped your fingers on the counter. Should I bring dinner for us tonight? Jeonghan’s incoming message snapped you out of your train of thought.
Just come straight here. I want to see your face. Read your message, not caring that you were acting clingy already. Even though you saw each other nearly everyday, you missed him when he was not around.
Alright. I’m on my way, then.
Your tummy twisted in excitement. Already? I thought you were clocking off in two hours. You replied instantly.
The kettle went off with a soft click, exuding a thin column of vapor as you poured the boiling water into one of your favorite mugs. When you finished preparing your tea how you liked it, you turned to your screen, finding no reply from your boyfriend.
Maybe he is just messing with you. Yoon Jeonghan liked to do that.
But then, the smart-lock of the front door beeped, the handle turning, and you knew he was not messing with you. “Babe?” you called as you made your way to the entrance of your apartment.
“Yeah?”
You stopped cold at the sight you found. Joshua closed the door behind him, a sweet smile painting his lips as he took a step towards you. You watched him with your mouth hanging open, heartbeat racing frantically in surprise.
“Hi beautiful,” Joshua muttered, his gaze swimming on the features of your face, noticing that you were in a mild shock. “I’m here, baby.”
“You’re here,” you parroted shakily, eyes brimming with big hot tears. “Oh god. You’re here...”
His strong arms wrapped around you in a hug, quickly sweeping you off your feet. And you clung to his neck, holding onto him as though he were a dream and would go away at any given second.
“Surprise,” he muttered with a tiny voice, and that was when you noticed the slight quiver, the quiet sniffling when he buried his face in the crook of your neck.
“I missed you so much,” you muttered, bringing a hand to feel the back of his head, using your arms still around him to hug him tightly.
“I missed you too,” he muttered, his words muffled by your hair and your clothes, but you noticed even so, that his voice had thickened.
“How are you here? I thought…” you trailed off. Jeonghan.
“I had a little help,” he replied, putting you back to the floor. “We wanted to give you a surprise.”
As you parted, you gaze fell on his features, marked by the weight of his tiredness. The color of his skin faded. The bags under his eyes were visible and darker like never before. But on top of that, the very air about him felt worn out, and on the brink of falling asleep at any given moment.
“Baby…” you whispered, your focus falling on his face, which you cupped with the palms of your hands. “Don’t you want to have a nap? You look exhausted.”
“I’m fine,” he frowned, his eyes shifting from your face to the rest of your body. “I just want to be with you. Jeonghan will be here soon too. We could go get dinner together or have something delivered.”
You knew Joshua well enough to know that he was trying to avoid something, and given the situation with the recent rumours surrounding you. Thinking that it was all too likely, you gave him a smile, grabbing his hand. “Come.”
He sighed but went with you either way. “Baby, I’m fine,” he insisted, and you knew by his tone alone that he was smiling. “I don’t need to sleep.”
“We’re not sleeping,” you turned so that he could see you grinning meaningfully at him.
Joshua giggled. “Ah, okay, okay,” he said, using his hand in yours to pull you closer to his body. “Come here, baby.”
You lead him to the bathroom, where you promptly started a shower, turning to him. “Let me take care of you, okay?” you asked sultrily, batting your eyelashes at him.
Joshua knew that there was more to your intentions with just one look. But his brain was so burned out that he could not figure out what you were planning, so he just nodded with his head, mouthing okay.
“You must be so exhausted, baby,” you sighed, toying with the buttons of his plaid shirt as you undid each one.
In no time, you were sliding the cotton fabric off his shoulders, moving to tug the belt of his black denims free. “I am,” he whispered, closing his eyes for a long pause. “So tired.”
“I’m going to take this off, okay?” you asked when he blindly stepped out of his jeans, feeling your fingers curling around the band of the waist band of his boxers.
“Okay,” he replied mechanically, reaching out to hold onto whatever part of your body he could find.
His hands found the curve of your waist, over the long t-shirt you wore. Thinking that he should reciprocate, his fists grabbed the t-shirt, hiking it up your torso and removing it with one motion.
Seeing you naked for the first time in what felt like ages was surreal to him. Even though he spent most of his nights looking at videos of you, to see you in real life was different. The camera could not capture your beautiful skin, or the beauty marks he loved so much.
“Let’s get you in,” you whispered, noticing the aloof look in his eyes.
“Are you going to shower with me?” he asked dumbly, letting you push him into the shower.
“Of course, silly goose,” you smiled at him sweetly, removing your panties before stepping with him. “I told you I’d take care of you, didn’t I?”
His heart swelled with so much love he was sure it would burst soon. “Yeah, you did,” he replied with a dazed smile, leaning his head to get his hair soaked with the warm stream of water.
“Good boy,” you whispered, grabbing the bottle of shampoo, sinking your fingers in his dark hair to wash it with slow motions.
He closed his eyes, deciding to give himself to you wholly. He was safe now, he was with you.
“I love you,” he shuddered. “I love you so much.”
His hands found your waist again, grabbing you as if to support himself.
“I love you too, baby,” you replied.
He opened his eyes again, afraid this would be another nightmare tormenting him with glimpses of you.
You saw something flash his dark eyes for a second before he eased back into the water when you rinsed his hair. Your hands were on him now, rubbing soap everywhere with ginger touches here and there.
“Hey,” you hummed. You were washing his torso, moving closer to him, his hands gripped your waist a little tighter, pressing your front to him, making you feel the firmness of his growing erection.
“Sorry, I can’t help it,” he let out a shy giggle, lowering his gaze to yours.
“I can,” you mumbled, sneaking a soapy hand between your bodies.
Joshua supressed a shudder when your fingers circled his hard shaft, stroking it idly as you watched him subdue himself to you. “Baby,” he groaned, dropping his forehead on yours. “God, I missed you so much,” he sighed raggedly.
“I missed you too, Josh,” you whispered, pumping him faster, adding more pressure to your grip on his shaft.
He pressed his face on yours, reaching your lips with his own with a tiny groan. “I don’t think I’ll last long,” he confessed with a sheepish look.
“It’s okay, baby. This is about you,” you hummed softly. “Let go for me, can you do that?”
He nodded with his head, clutching your waist tighter.
“Good boy,” you breathed. “Focus on me, baby. Do you like what I’m doing with my hands?” you pumped him faster, your fingers cupping his balls, massaging them.
“Yeah,” he shuddered hard against you, closing his eyes to savor the pleasure brimming inside him. “Please…”
“Let go,” you muttered. “Come for me, Josh.”
A strangled noise came out of his parted lips. Joshua stopped gripping you, his hand snapping to find the wall behind you, anchoring himself before he followed your command. The last thing he did to help himself reach his high was meeting your lips with a long, sloppy kiss, wet in drool and the water showering over you.
He groaned in your mouth as he came in your hand. You stopped pumping him once he finished spilling himself on your skin. “That’s it, that’s it, baby,” you whispered in praise. “How does that feel?”
“So good,” he blurted, sighing a euphoric feeling. “You don’t know how many times I wished to have your hand instead of mine,” he mumbled out the words swiftly. “I missed you so much, I need you with me.”
“I’m here, baby. I missed you too,” you said. “Let’s finish washing, okay?”
“Okay,” he said. “And then it’s your turn.”
You smiled. “I like the sound of that.”
You finished washing up thoroughly, and then as soon as you finished drying your skin Joshua pulled you in a hug, sweeping you off your feet and a second later, your body hit the mattress.
Joshua climbed on top of you, but before he could even lower his body on yours, you pushed him off, easily turning him over, his back pressed against the covers. On a usual night, that would have been impossible to achieve. But given that he was tired, he did not expect you to do that.
You straddled his waist while kissing him, his hands roamed all over your back, squeezing your skin, he hugged you as you pressed your chest against his.
The accumulated tiredness from the nights when Joshua could not sleep had started to reach a breaking point for him. You could feel it in his kisses, languid and messy. He groaned when you tried to break from him, urging you to keep going.
“Stubborn,” you whispered with a tiny smile, pushing his wet hair away from his forehead with your hand.
“You’re the stubborn one,” he replied with a gruff tone. “I’m fine.”
“Sleep, baby,” you paused, looking at his beautiful eyes. “We can do this in the morning.”
Joshua thought that your words might have magic in them because his will caved in a second. The heaviness in his limbs pushed him to nod his head in agreement. “Okay, okay,” he conceded. “But only if you stay here with me.”
“Of course, baby,” you giggled. “I don’t want to be anywhere else.”
You got under the covers, naked and hair still damp but you did not care at all. Once you were next to him, you intertwined your legs with his, lying your head on his chest as he hugged your body.
“Baby?” he blinked lazily.
“Yes, Josh?” you lifted your head to look at him.
“Don’t go anywhere,” he whispered, his eyelids falling heavily.
“I won’t,” you reassured him, caressing his cheek with gentle strokes. “I promise.”
He blinked one final time, and like a switch that went off, you saw the muscles of his face relax, falling asleep peacefully in your bed with you.
Some hours later, you moved from his embrace, lying in a normal position but still close to Joshua. You wanted to let him have a nice restoring sleep, so you thought of moving away from him a bit.
But his hands found you beneath the covers, tugging you closer, or hugging you back to him in his sleep. He was so deeply asleep that he did not hear the soft beeping of the smart lock, the door pushed open and then it closed with care.
Jeonghan’s steps were careful, probably intuiting that you were in the bedroom asleep. You saw his head peak in the doorframe of the bedroom, making you lift your hand to wave at him.
“Hi, baby,” he whispered, approaching the foot of the bed. “Am I interrupting?”
“No,” you patted your hand next to you, on the space that was left free.
“Okay,” he whispered, moving to the side.
Jeonghan paused before he went under the covers with you, finding you and Joshua utterly naked. “Tsk,” he clicked his tongue, suppressing a smile. “Couldn’t you wait for me?” he muttered teasingly.
“Shut up,” you reproached with a hushed tone. “Josh was tired, so he fell asleep before we could do anything,” you explained.
“I’m just playing, baby,” he smiled, his gaze finding Joshua. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah,” you frowned, still caged by his heavy arms. “He was so tired. Couldn’t even speak straight.”
“So, what? Are we having a slumber party?” he grinned.
“Maybe,” you shrugged. “I don’t know if he’ll wake up right now.”
“We could order food if he does.”
“Okay,” you nodded.
“Okaaay,” he sighed, pulling out his phone and lowering the brightness of his screen before he dived in the food delivery app.
The dimmed white light coming from the screen illuminated his features, letting you see his perfectly cute nose, his beauty mark that sat on his cheek, his rosy lips, the lower tucked inside his mouth.
“What?” he noticed, directing a quick look at you.
“I’m just looking at your face,” you whispered.
“Is there something on it?” he asked, running his palm over his cheeks.
“No, you dummy,” you said. “I just missed your face.”
“You saw me this morning, princess,” he giggled goofily.
“You were supposed to say I missed your face too, princess,” you mimicked his tone to the best of your ability but failed miserably.
“But I didn’t miss you,” he said, trying to sound serious. “I just saw you this morning.”
“I take it back, I didn’t miss your face,” you pushed him away with a hand.
“Come here, you little crybaby,” he mumbled, grabbing your hand.
“You-mmf,” you were quickly shut up by his lips, sealed by his in a chaste kiss.
“What?” he dared, planting another kiss, then another.
“You fucking tease,” you muttered, pushing his face away from yours.
His mouth fell open in surprise. “Me?” he pointed a finger to his chest.
“Who else?” you hissed. “You’re so fucking annoying.”
“Oh, baby, you don’t even know,” he grinned darkly at you. “Now, why don’t you stay quiet for a minute? You’re going to wake him up,” he nodded at the man deeply asleep behind you.
You turned on the bed, lying on your back. Joshua’s arm hugged you just below your breasts, pulling you closer by instinct when you moved.
“So now you’re going to ignore me?” Jeonghan huffed a puffy air, clicking his tongue.
You stared at the ceiling, dead set on keeping your act up.
But you should have done better than playing with The Yoon Jeonghan.
At first, he just smirked, but as the seconds went by and you pretended to ignore him, the smile wore off. He propped his elbow on the pillow, leaning his head on his fist, intent on watching your face.
Then, he slid a hand on your tummy, he did nothing else with it, he just parked it there, his palm covering your belly button. You rejected his touch, but he caught sight of your eyelids fluttering slightly.
“Don’t ignore me,” he drew out the words with a low hum. He lifted his palm, but his fingers lingered on your skin, dragging the tips on your tummy in slow, gentle motions.
You said nothing, but as his fingers trailed on your lower abdomen, you swallowed hard. Jeonghan smiled, loving how well you responded to his touch. Your warm skin prickled, tingling at the wake of his fingertips drawing circles, going lower and lower.
“Baby, I’m sorry,” he pouted. “Did you get angry because I called you a crybaby?”
The tone he used was mocking you, but you could not pay attention to it. His fingers were so close to your mound that you felt the need to swallow back a moan, the strangled sound coiling in your throat drew his attention.
“What was that, baby?” he asked playfully.
Yanking your gaze from the ceiling, you met his, darkened by lust and mischief. The smirk that drew on his face was of silent victory.
“What, do you like this?” he motioned to his hand drawing lazy circles on your mound, his fingers grazing the line of your pussy lips. “Does this get you horny?
You blinked at him, parting your lips in desire but no words came out.
“I bet you’re wet already,” he whispered, a glint lighting up his dark eyes.
You moved your thighs ever so slightly, letting one finger between your pussy lips.
“God, baby, right next to Joshua?” he whispered, a devilish smirk curving his lips. “What is your boyfriend going to say if he wakes up?”
You said absolutely nothing, your eyelids fluttered when he ran the tip of his finger between your folds.
“So fucking wet,” he mumbled, more to himself than to you, as though he knew already that he would find your pussy sopping wet already. “Who would’ve thought that you’re such a slut?”
You gasped silently, drawing your eyebrows in. Jeonghan’s finger dipped in your core, his own mouth falling open when he sank one finger in, then another, playing with your wetness.
“Hear that?” he asked with a whisper, moving his fingers in and out of your wet pussy, creating a loud wet noise with each thrust.
In the past weeks, you had been having so much sex that your body was extra sensitive.
“Princess, you’re insatiable,” Jeonghan smiled, throwing a look at Joshua, who was still asleep. “Do you want more?”
Your gaze followed his, finding Joshua peacefully unaware that you were getting fingered by Jeonghan. You nodded.
“More?” Jeonghan confirmed. “More fingers?”
You shook your head silently.
“Mmn, princess, you’re going to wake Joshua up if I give you more,” he cooed softly, moving his fingers inside you, massaging your walls. He pulled them out, driving the pads of his fingers to your clit, which was already swollen with arousal.
You flinched slightly under Joshua’s embrace when Jeonghan’s fingertips started moving on your clit. You locked your gaze on Jeonghan, silently pleading for more.
Jeonghan took the challenge, stopping the motion of his fingers on you and sank under the covers, carefully placing himself between your legs without disrupting Joshua’s sleep. You closed your eyes, feeling his hands on your inner thighs, spreading your pussy lips for his mouth.
The first lick set your body ablaze. You tensed up, gritting your teeth as Jeonghan ran his tongue flatly on your folds, licking your juices up, kissing your clit slowly.
As soon as your back stirred on the mattress, Joshua moved. He hummed softly, making your tummy twist, a hand flying to find Jeonghan’s head, but the man did not take the hint, or if he did, he did not give a fuck.
Jeonghan continued giving your pussy broad strokes with his tongue, not caring of the wet sounds he was making.
“Mmn,” Joshua pressed his face on your pillow finding your cheek, which he kissed softly.
“Josh,” you mumbled, the sound whiny, making it obvious that you were aroused.
Jeonghan pushed his hands on your inner thighs, spreading you more to dip his tongue inside you with a low groan.
“What’s ha–,” Joshua lifted his head from your pillow, spotting the bulge beneath the covers, between your legs.
“Baby,” you sighed a moan.
Joshua watched the body beneath the covers for a few seconds, confusedly finding your face. The last traces of slumber left him, coming alive with a slow smirk drawing on his face. He pushed the covers off, uncovering your body, and Jeonghan between your legs, eating you out. “Couldn’t you wait for me?”
You let out a lazy giggle, finding it amusing that Jeonghan had said the same thing half an hour before. “Wanna join?” you asked with a sweet hum, raking your fingertips through Jeonghan’s scalp.
Joshua propped his body on one elbow, lying back to watch Jeonghan working on your pussy. “How do you want me to join in?” he asked, his voice still gruff and lazy.
“Kiss me?” you asked with a sweet tone.
The man obeyed without a second thought, bringing a hand to cup your face, kissing you gently. Jeonghan grabbed your legs, hiking them on his shoulders, dipping two fingers back into your pussy, and kissing your clit with his mouth.
You moaned in Joshua’s mouth, his hands cupping your breasts, fingers pinching and tugging your nipples.
“You’re close, baby?” Joshua asked, enjoying the sound so much he felt himself growing hard.
“I want more,” you gasped.
Joshua smirked, dipping his head over your chest, trapping one of your nipples in his mouth, teasing it with his tongue.
“God!” you squealed, hands busy grabbing both Jeonghan and Joshua’s hair. Your thighs tensed more in pleasure, drawing out a long moan as one of your boyfriends licked and kissed your nipples, and the other your clit.
“I’m coming,” you sighed, closing your eyes in bliss. “God, god, god, I’m close, I’m close!” you let out a strangled sound, jaw going slack as you climaxed below Jeonghan and Joshua, neither slowing down nor stopping.
You thrashed, moaned, and cried out each of their names lewdly until you were breathless, teary-eyed, and limp on the mattress.
“God… that was…” you sighed, smiling as you relished in the aftershocks of your orgasm.
They both lifted their heads from your body at the same time. Jeonghan ran the back of his hand over his chin, wiping away your arousal and his own spit, while Joshua acted on impulse, grabbing Jeonghan's hand and sticking his fingers in his mouth to lick the taste of you.
Jeonghan looked startled for a second, his eyes widening and lips parting. But he shook it off quickly, letting Joshua lick off your wetness. The sight was so arousing, that a moan coiled in your throat.
“Princess likes that, huh?” Jeonghan asked Joshua, pulling out his fingers from the warmth of his mouth.
“Did you like that, baby?” Joshua asked, his studded eyebrow twitching up.
“Yeah,” you sighed, smiling shyly when the sound came out more like a moan than anything else.
Jeonghan had a question etched in his eyes that only Joshua could see. But he ignored it, trying to get a hold of himself before he did more impulsive things.
“What do you want, princess?” Jeonghan asked, noticing the dazed expression on your face.
“I want you both. At the same time. You on top,” you pointed at Jeonghan, then to Joshua. “And you below me.”
“Tsk,” Jeonghan smirked, nodding his head in amazement.
But he climbed off the bed as he took his clothes off, opening the first drawer of your closet. As Jeonghan got what he needed from the drawer, he thought of the brief exchange he had with Joshua, deciding to push it far away in his mind for now. But he could not ignore, that he had liked it.
You rose to your knees, circling Joshua’s neck with your hands to bring him to your face, pressing a warm kiss in his mouth. “I liked that,” you whispered, referring to Joshua licking Jeonghan’s fingers.
“I know,” he husked with a half-smile. “I can tell.”
Jeonghan returned with a bottle of lube, and one condom, patting the edge of the bed he motioned you over. “I want you here, Princess,” he told you.
You crawled over to him, sitting back on your heels in front of him.
Jeonghan cupped the side of your head, tangling his fingers in your hair, and pressing a small kiss on your lower lip. “Be good for us,” he whispered.
“Always, Hannie,” you smiled.
“Mmn,” he hummed, keeping his quippy retort behind his grin. “Turn around and get on all fours, baby.”
You obeyed at once, getting on your hands and knees, ass to him. Jeonghan started littering your skin with kisses, his hands caressing your ass. Joshua watched quietly, one corner of his lips twitching when Jeonghan sneaked another glance his way.
“Come here, handsome,” you muttered lovingly, extending a hand to clutch his hip. Joshua was hard again, tip leaking with precum.
Joshua mimicked Jeonghan’s previous movements, cupping your face in his large hand. “Want to take me in your mouth, baby?” he taunted, reading your face.
“Yeah?” you lifted your pretty eyes to his face.
“Open your mouth,” he whispered, swallowing hard when you obediently parted your lips for him.
A moan vibrated around his cock, Jeonghan kissed your pussy one more time, making your whole body jolt in surprise. “Easy, baby,” he giggled.
Jeonghan closed his eyes, running the tip of his tongue between your folds, licking up your pussy to the rim of your ass, kissing, humming against your skin.
The room grew quiet in a matter of seconds.
Joshua’s head hung back slightly, sighing out in pleasure as you sucked him off eagerly. Your tongue swirled on his cockhead, hollowing out your cheeks every time you pulled back on him. He opened his eyes, his gaze falling on Jeonghan instinctively.
Joshua’s heart nearly jumped out of his chest to find Jeonghan’s eyes on him as he licked your puckered hole, a hand stroking his hard cock idly.
“God,” Joshua exhaled, closing his eyes again. You moaned around him, his hand gripping your hair right before he pulled out his cock out of your mouth with a loud groan.
He threw back his head, eyes focused on the ceiling, panting.
“Josh?” you called.
“Give me a second,” Joshua laughed languidly.
Jeonghan masked his giggle with a low hum, pulling back his mouth from your puckered hole to press the tip of his pointer finger, making you moan. “Joshuji is just out of his game, baby,” he cooed.
“Shut up,” Joshua groaned, chest heaving. “I’m not.”
“Alright, then what is it?” Jeonghan challenged. There was no smile curling his lips, Joshua found in Jeonghan’s eyes pure curiosity.
Joshua bore into him with his dark gaze. “Not now,” he warned with a cold tone.
“There is nothing wrong with admitting that you’re a quick nut,” Jeonghan stated boldly, knowing that his crude vocabulary would rattle him. “Baby will understand, right?”
“Jeonghan, why don’t you occupy your mouth again and shut the fuck up?”
“Did I hurt your feelings, altar boy?” Jeonghan tilted his head to one side, pushing another finger inside you.
“Both of you,” you groaned, torn between the fight happening and Jeonghan’s fingers in your ass. “Shut up,” you deadpanned.
“Are you ready, baby?” Jeonghan asked, spreading his fingers inside you.
“Yeah, I think I am,” you choked out.
“Get on top of Shuji, baby,” Jeonghan patted your ass lovingly.
Joshua got to the center of the bed, laying back as you crawled back to him, straddling him. He grabbed your head with his large hands, pulling you into a long, wet kiss.
You placed your forearms on the pillows, framing his head.
Jeonghan grabbed your hips roughly, lifting one hand, and bringing it down on your ass firmly. You yelped, breaking your kiss with Joshua abruptly.
Joshua smiled at you. “Someone’s jealous,” he teased, grabbing your chin with two fingers to continue kissing you.
“Tsk, jealous,” Jeonghan huffed. “Ready?”
You turned to see him, giving him a short nod.
Jeonghan rolled up the condom down his shaft, spreading the lube in both him and your hole. “You know what to do, princess.”
“Yes, Hannie,” you replied, arching your back to him.
“Good girl,” he sighed, pressing the tip of his cock in your hole, pushing one inch inside you.
“God,” you gasped, hiding your face in the crook of Joshua’s neck.
Joshua caressed your back, his fingers drawing a line down your column before he grabbed your ass, spreading you open for Jeonghan. “You’re good, baby,” he whispered, looking at Jeonghan as he sank another inch in.
Your fingers curled on the pillowcases. “Josh…” you cried out, Jeonghan’s cock filling you up a little bit more.
Jeonghan blinked lazily, biting his lip hard as he pulled back, to sink back inside you, pushing a few more inches in.
“Take it, baby,” Joshua husked, his fingers pressing the skin of your ass, still helping spread you open.
“Fuck,” Jeonghan gritted, nearly bottoming out inside you. “I’m gonna start moving,” he drawled.
“Yeah, yes, please,” you cried out, the sound muffled on Joshua’s neck.
Joshua shuddered, your breath fanning on his skin. “Can you take me, baby?” he asked.
“Mm-mmph,” you moved your head, to meet his lips with yours. “Please, Josh.”
“Hurry,” Jeonghan groaned, giving you shallow thrusts.
Joshua thought of saying something quippy.
But you sent him a look. “Don’t,” you huffed. You grabbed his cock, guiding it to your pussy.
“Okay,” Joshua whispered, suppressing a smile. He started thrusting in his cock, pushing his hips up to meet yours.
Jeonghan moaned, leaning his body forward, pushing you over too. “Fuck, god, fuuuuck,” he groaned, leaning his forehead on your nape. “Baby, you feel so good.”
The lewd sound of Jeonghan’s voice elicited a moan from Joshua. Pushing his cock faster inside you, he could feel Jeonghan’s cock inside you, moving in perfect synchronicity with his own.
Jeonghan was fully fucking you doggy style, leaning over your body as Joshua fucked into you. He pressed a hand on the pillow, the other gripping your hip, brushing against Joshua’s fingers.
“Baby,” Joshua called your name, noticing your features lost in pleasure. “You’re there?”
“Yeah,” you replied aloofly. “I’m close, babe. I’m so close…”
“Come for me,” Jeonghan choked out, squeezing his eyes shut.
“No, not yet,” Joshua gasped, fucking into you faster. Sweat sticking to his skin, making a wet sound every time he met his hips with yours. “Wait for me, baby.”
“I can’t,” you whispered, your limbs starting to shake. “I’m there, Josh. Please… let me come.”
Jeonghan let out a ragged groan. “Come, baby, please come,” he begged, swallowing hard, pushing inside you desperately now.
Just by the sounds alone, Joshua knew his best friend was near his release. He watched as Jeonghan nipped and kissed your shoulder, eyes closed as if though he feared opening them, as though he knew Joshua would be looking.
You cried out a whiny moan. “Joshua, Joshua…” you sighed, writhing as your orgasm washed over you, teary-eyed and completely fucked out.
“Fuck, princess,” Jeonghan gasped, his thrusts slowing down as you squeezed on both men inside you.
Joshua gripped your hips tighter as he moved his lazily. “God,” he blurted as he saw you and Jeonghan come together just like in all of those videos. You squeezed around him, and he could feel Jeonghan’s cock nudged inside you, pressing against his.
You fell on top of him, walls throbbing around his cock as he spilled inside you with a blissful sigh.
Then Jeonghan fell on top of you, pulling out of you and resting his head on the pillow, beside Joshua’s head.
Joshua groaned under the weight of both your body and now Jeonghan’s. But you giggled sweetly, resting your head on the other pillow, to the other side of Jeonghan.
Joshua stared at the ceiling again, breathing hard and erratically from the exhaustion and pleasure still coursing through him. But he dared to move his face, turning it to Jeonghan to see if his best friend was awake.
With just one look, Joshua knew that Jeonghan had a million questions to ask. His eyes bore into Joshua’s, his face so close they could feel each other’s breaths.
Joshua wondered for a second if Jeonghan’s lips were as soft as yours. A thought that almost sent him into a frenzy.
“What?” Jeonghan breathed, noticing the change in Joshua’s eyes.
“Get off me,” Joshua gritted.
“Ask nicely.”
“Get the fuck off me,” Joshua demanded, but a giggle sneaked through his command.
“Alright, alright,” Jeonghan groaned, pushing himself off you and Joshua.
You, on the other hand, were still lost in the gentle aftershocks of your orgasm. Breathing softly on the curve of Joshua’s neck.
“We should clean up,” you said, promptly lifting your hips off his.
“Wait–,” Joshua gasped, but it was too late. Cum dripped out of you, spilling all over Joshua, and your inner thighs.
You stared at the mess for a long second.
“Tsk,” Jeonghan returned to the bedroom. “Someone has to clean that up now,” he said, lying down on the bed, next to Joshua.
Before Joshua could even say anything, you understood what Jeonghan meant immediately, leaning down to his crotch, running your tongue on his lower abdomen.
“Fuck,” Joshua gritted when you licked his cum from his skin, the act so hot he felt himself grow hard again. “Fuck, baby,” he rolled his eyes to the ceiling, trying to calm himself down.
“Lie down, princess, Jeonghan commanded when you finished cleaning up Joshua’s lower tummy.
You lied back on the bed as he got to his knees, sending a look at Joshua as Jeonghan licked the cum from your inner thighs, eliciting a lazy moan from you.
Joshua felt even more confused than before but kept watching the whole exchange, unable to yank his gaze from it.
You smiled at Jeonghan, right before he dived for a kiss, his tongue rolling inside your mouth with a raspy groan. You cupped his head moaning lewdly in his mouth.
“Come on, let’s wash up, baby,” Jeonghan whispered, patting your thigh once before pulling away from you, but not before glancing Joshua’s way.
You crawled up to him, a playful smile on your face. “You there?” you cooed. “Let’s go,” you whispered.
Snapping from a trance, he grabbed your face, placing a rushed kiss in your lips, tasting his cum in the process. “That was so hot,” he hissed.
“Did you like that, babe?” you asked sultrily, reading his face.
“Yeah,” he croaked.
You smiled mischievously, grabbing his hand. “Come on, baby boy, let’s wash again.”
And with that, Joshua knew there was no right or wrong answer to the turbulent confusion inside him, he had to roll with it.
The following morning, Joshua stretched out his arm beneath the bedsheets, humming blissfully once he found your body to wrap in an embrace.
“Morning, babe,” you whispered.
He opened his eyes to see your face, planting a sleepy kiss on your lips. “G’morning,” he whispered.
Jeonghan looked at both of you, his phone in his hands. “Don’t I get a morning kiss?”
The question made Joshua’s heart jolt nervously. But understanding that the question was directed at you, he rolled his eyes.
However, you smiled, moving to place a sweet kiss on Jeonghan’s lips. “Good morning, Hannie,” you mumbled.
“Morning,” he replied with a flat tone.
“You’re a bit grumpy since last night,” you pointed. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” Jeonghan said, shaking his head slightly. “I should go now. Got to go to the bar to drop some payments and–,” he paused. “Is your thing with Yena still up for tonight?”
Joshua arched one eyebrow.
“Yeah, but Josh will drive me there. Don’t worry,” you looked at him.
“I’ll drive you,” he nodded dumbly. “Where?”
“I have a date with Yena. We’re grabbing dinner, we’ll talk about my anonymity and see what we could do market wise,” you explained, pinching his chin with your fingers.
“Okay,” Joshua reassured. “I’ll drive you.”
“Alright,” Jeonghan sighed, leaning over to place a loving kiss on your forehead. “I love you,” he mumbled right before kissing your lips sweetly.
Joshua’s heart gave another leap. The smile that painted your face was so sweet, he had only seen it on you whenever you were with him.
“I love you, grumpy,” you replied teasingly.
“Shut up,” he sighed a smile, kissing you one more time before he pulled back. “Bye, Joshuji,” he waved, much as if he could not walk out without saying goodbye to him.
“Bye, Jeonghannie.”
Joshua sat on the pilot’s seat of his van, waiting. One hand supporting his head, the other gripping the steering wheel tightly.
He wished he could say that he eased part of the questions that made his head uneasy. But in truth, he felt even more confused. The easy way out of this, was to just let whatever he felt flow.
But then, he needed to talk it out with you. And Jeonghan.
Frustrated, he sighed. He didn’t know what he was expecting when he returned home. He so desperately wanted to go back to the quiet life, that he forgot that time also moved for you, and things changed.
Your life was also becoming less quiet.
Was this his doing?
You opened the door to the copilot’s seat of his van. “Sorry, sorry,” you mumbled.
“Ready?” he turned the key, igniting the engine.
“Yeah, I’m sorry,” you repeated.
“It’s okay, baby,” he replied dryly. “Bringing everything this time?”
“Yeah, I triple-checked,” you looked down to your lap, shamefully. “I keep forgetting my phone everywhere.”
“Did you book a table?” Joshua asked, eyeing you as he drove through the city.
“Yeah, but Yen’s already waiting for me.”
“Mm,” Joshua nodded.
You raised your eyebrows. “Are you mad at me, Josh?” you asked, and without skipping a second, you added: “I’m sorry, I–,”
“I’m not mad,” he said flatly.
A long silence was drawn between you, tension building as the seconds passed.
“Okay, tell me what’s wrong then,” you said with a serious tone, trying to look at his face, but he just kept avoiding your eyes.
“Nothing. Nothing’s wrong,” he mumbled.
“Don’t do that,” you snapped. “Don’t do this.”
“Do what?” he finally looked at you, but the glance was short.
“You’re avoiding something,” you pointed. “I know you, Josh. There is something bothering you.”
“I don’t want to talk about it right now,” he shook his head, pulling up. He raised his eyebrows. “We’re here.”
It took you a second to understand that he had parked the car in front of the restaurant you were going to meet with Yena. You searched his dark eyes, heart dropping to your stomach when you saw how dead they looked.
“I’m thinking of quitting the band,” Joshua mumbled, the weight of his confession making him drive his gaze elsewhere.
“You’re not serious,” you whispered.
“I am,” he looked at you again. “I’m done. I can’t do this anymore.”
You leaned your head to one side, eyes glinting with pity. “Baby, you’re just tired. Don’t say things like these, think it over when you’re well rested.”
“I don’t need to think things over,” he spat, shaking his head in frustration. “I want out. I don’t want any of this.”
As soon as he blurted the words, Joshua wanted to take them back. He looked at you remorsefully, opening his mouth to apologize but you stopped him, raising a palm to him.
“I’m going to ignore this moment happened… and when I come back, you and I are going to talk about this. So think carefully about how you speak to me next time.”
Then you exited the car, slamming the door behind you.
Joshua stood in front of the walled rooftop.
This used to be the place where you would come to ponder about whatever occupied your mind the most. The night Joshua followed you here, he found you in the same spot he was standing in; but you were leaning your head on the brim of the ledge, following the buzz of the busy city as some kind of a lullaby.
Some nights, Joshua would wake up to find your spot of the bed empty, and he know he would find you here, trying to solve whatever plot point you were stuck in. But some nights he would also find you here when you were running away from conflict, running away from him.
He brought a hand to rub his chest absentmindedly, trying to ease the heaviness coiling around his heart.
The sound coming from the rusty hinges of the door leading back into the building rattled him, making him turn around, somehow expecting to see you.
Jeonghan closed the door behind him, crossing his arms as he walked tentatively towards Joshua. “How long have you been here?” he asked.
Joshua shook his head in reprehension. “If you’re here to play the mediator, just telling you now, I don’t want to hear it,” he turned over again, facing the city lights again. “I know I did wrong.”
“I’m not here to play mediator,” Jeonghan said quietly once he reached Joshua’s side, leaning his forearms on the brim of the ledge. “I’ve been looking for you. You’re not picking up the phone.”
“Did you… talk to Bunny?” Joshua asked, avoiding his best friend’s scrutiny. But it was quite unavoidable, he could feel his eyes piercing him.
“Yeah, I did,” he replied, finally yanking his gaze away from him and directing it towards the sunset.
Joshua expected him to say something else, something about the conversation between Jeonghan and you. But when he stayed quiet about it, Joshua felt even worse. He brought his hands to his face, rubbing his eyes harshly to avoid succumbing to pure madness.
“I’m sorry, I’ll talk to her when she gets back,” he mumbled, his voice muffling in his hands. He lifted his head blinking the quiet rage stinging his eyes and sent a shameful look to his best friend.
“She’s already here,” Jeonghan informed with a solemn expression. “She called me.”
Joshua could not stop himself from feeling resentful that you had called Jeonghan to pick you up instead of him. But even he would admit that it was deserved.
The serenity he found in Jeonghan’s gaze was perplexing. “What happened?” he asked with caution.
Joshua took pause, assuming that you might have just told him in brief what happened. “I told her I’m thinking of quitting the band. We had an argument. I shouldn’t have exploded like that, but the truth is… I’m exhausted. I don’t want this anymore,” he rasped with a nasty feeling making his face twist.
“Are you really quitting?” Jeonghan seemed unfazed by this turn of events.
“I don’t know,” he sighed, clasping his hands together as he lowered his head. “I knew what I was getting myself into when I agreed to sign for the label but… I never wanted this.”
“What is it that you hate so much about this?” he frowned with clear confusion rising in his tone. “Can’t you just admit publicly that she’s your girlfriend? Forget about me, or how I’d feel, you would have one thing less to worry about. Two, actually.”
Joshua turned to his best friend, processing his words over and over in his head, all the while scanning his features, finding nothing but quiet resolution. “You’re insane,” he realized. “You can’t say that. After all the shit that we went through to get here you can’t just decide to leave.”
Crossing his arms still, Jeonghan shrugged. “Well it can’t be that bad, right? I could just remain in the background or leave completely. I’m just saying, we can come up with some story to make all of this go away.”
“No,” he negated with his head. “No, I don’t want you to leave. And I’m pretty sure Bunny doesn’t want that either.”
Jeonghan said nothing at first, but Joshua could tell the severity of his entire demeanor had an underlying reason. “I don’t want to leave either, you know that. But look at yourself. I can’t stand looking at you like this,” Jeonghan admitted. “I tried to warn you, Shuji. You can’t make yourself happy by making everyone happy.”
The perplexing feeling sunk deeper within him. The only reaction Joshua could muster was a hollow laugh that went on until he thought this was what insanity felt like.
Jeonghan’s gaze turned to worry, his eyebrows pinching together.
“This is so fucked up,” Joshua muttered to himself, dropping his face back onto his hands and muffled a long sigh. “I’m so fucked.”
“If this is putting you in this state then we should call the polycule off,” he heard Jeonghan’s quiet tone try to bring some sense into this. “You can go back to your life before all of this, I’ll be fine.”
It seemed astounding to Joshua that his best friend would be up to do that if that made Joshua happy, even though that would mean walking away from you again. It had been so long since Jeonghan and him had a heart-to-heart, that they have missed out on so much. Joshua could easily assume what has happened in the time he been away.
But Jeonghan had no idea about what he has come to find out about himself.
“I can’t do this right now, Jeonghan,” Joshua decided, casting one look at Jeonghan’s face, and turned away from him, walking towards the door. “I’m not ready to talk about this.”
Joshua thought of what he would say to you as he crossed the rooftop, dragging his feet with heavy reluctance. He would undoubtedly apologize to you and tell you what was going on inside his head.
He did not want to walk away from his band, that was something he had said crassly, without really weighing how alarming that sounded given the state that he was in. He needed to sleep. He needed to think. He needed to—
“Stop hurting her, you fucking coward!” Jeonghan’s complaint resounded across the space between them, making Joshua stop dead in his tracks.
“What?” he blurted, turning around to see him approaching with an angry step.
“You always do this,” Jeonghan’s face twisted in annoyance, his brow furrowing as he lifted one finger to point at Joshua’s face. “You said you wouldn’t do this again. You lie and bottle up your feelings until it’s everyone’s problem!”
“I just said I can’t do this right now,” Joshua gritted.
But that just proved Jeonghan’s point. “The only time you can do it is when you blow up!” he accused. “How fucking hard can it be to just say what you truly think and feel?” he exasperatedly threw his hands at his sides.
“Like you say what you truly think and feel?” Joshua rolled his eyes in an irked way.
“What the hell are you talking about?” he demanded, dropping his hand on his side.
“We’ll talk about this later, Jeonghan,” he huffed, motioning to the door again.
“What do you want me to say? I’ll tell you right now,” he challenged, his chest falling and rising rapidly.
Joshua bit his tongue. His first instinct was to try and opt out of the conversation again, try and buy as much time as possible to figure out his feelings, to solve the itching confusion in his heart.
But as he faced his best friend, his resolve became clearer. He did not need to send any more tentative glances at him or wonder to himself any further. Jeonghan’s eyes kept reading his face over and over, just as Joshua drifted towards his lips, and then his eyes.
“What?” Jeonghan’s brow furrowed deeper, the annoyance in his demeanor died down and swiftly turned into genuine bewilderment.
Joshua thought for a second that whatever emotion showed on his face made his intentions clear. “Jeonghan,” he breathed.
His brow finally relaxed; his eyes widening in wordless realization. “Joshua?”
A large hand grabbed the collar of Jeonghan’s hoodie, giving it a firm tug. Their chests clashed together, knocking the air out of their lungs. Joshua paused, giving Jeonghan a moment to back away, to put a stop on this before it was too late.
Jeonghan’s breath hitched, but no words came out of his parted lips.
An overwhelming fluttering invaded Joshua’s chest. His free hand cupped the back of his head, tangling his fingers on the long dark hair. They both looked at each other as they leaned closer, and closer. Jeonghan closed his eyes, so Joshua decided to do the same until their lips met in a slow, tentative kiss.
✮ author's note: hellooooooo,
here it is! slightly late but here it's the first part to my hannieween fest/kinktober celebration. i hope you liked it 🙂↕️
i am so excited for you guys to read the next chapter to lights out!! i am actually very excited to know what you think of this one. it took me some time to finish writing it because i have so many projects at the moment!
but here it is hehe. i'm happy.
✮ STAY TUNED FOR CHAPTER SIX!! ✮
JOIN MY TAGLIST | PREVIOUS CHAPTERS | BUY ME A COFFEE? (●'◡'●)
© RIGHTS RESERVED TO HANNIEWEEN I DO NOT ALLOW TRANSLATIONS, CONTINUATIONS, REIMAGINATIONS OF MY WORKS OR THEIR REPOSTING ON OTHER WEBSITES.
#svthub#thediamondlifenetwork#joshua smut#jeonghan smut#yoon jeonghan smut#yoon jeonghan x reader#jeonghan x reader#svt smut#yoon jeonghan fanfic#seventeen smut#seventeen x reader#svt x reader#svt imagines#yoon jeonghan x you#jeonghan fanfic#jeonghan fic#joshua hong smut#svt fanfic#joshua hong x reader#joshua hong fanfic#seventeen imagines#yoon jeonghan fluff#joshua hong fluff#ff:lights out#hannieween#hannieweenfest#hannieween's kinktober
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𝐐𝐔𝐈𝐄𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓
support for palestine | masterlists | joel miller masterlist
PAIRING: JOEL MILLER X FEMALE READER
RATING: EXPLICIT (18+ MDNI) | WORD COUNT: 2.1k
SUMMARY
Joel wants to go camping for his fiftieth birthday. He makes it worth your while. Part of the Cruel Summer series, but can be read as a oneshot.
AUTHOR'S NOTE
This is my (late) entry for the Summer Lovin' Challenge hosted by @chaotic-mystery , @pedgito , and @amanitacowboy. This prompt had me spiraling with like five different drafts but in the end, it actually got me thinking of Cruel Summer, which is one of the first fics I wrote for this fandom and holds a very special place in my heart. If you've read that fic, I hope you enjoy this little glimpse into their lives. Please consider leaving a comment or reblogging 💕
WARNINGS
explicit sexual content (18+ minors do not interact), established relationship, age gap (35F and 50M), able bodied reader, no use of y/n, camping as a plot device, brief mentions of their relationship history as written in cruel summer, semi-public sex - tent, vaginal fingering, oral - female receiving, unprotected p in v, creampie, dirty talk, pet names. please let me know if there are any that i missed!
When you agreed to go camping, you didn’t think it would be this miserable.
“Joel, where’s the bug spray?” You call from inside the tent. “I’m getting eaten alive out here!”
“It’s ’cause you’re so sweet, darlin’,” Joel replies. He pokes his head inside the tent flap. “Try the side pocket.”
You check the pocket in question, mumbling under your breath as you finally locate the bug spray. Joel backs up to allow you outside to douse yourself in the spray until you’re coughing from the fumes. When you’re done, you hand the bottle to Joel with a glare. He grins at you.
“Think you might have missed a spot,” he jokes, spraying himself with a more conservative amount.
“Very funny,” you reply. “Is it time to go home yet?”
“Not even close.”
You groan. “Fine. What do we do now?”
“We enjoy what nature has to offer.”
“We could have done that with air conditioning. Have you watched Animal Planet?”
Joel reaches for your hand, pulling you close and wrapping his arms around you. “I know it ain’t your idea of a vacation, but it’ll be fun. I’ll make it worth your while,” he says, his hands sliding down your back until they rest on your ass. He gives one cheek a rough squeeze that makes you gasp. “If you behave.”
“Define behave,” you reply. He laughs, head thrown back with the force of it.
“As little whinin’ as you can manage,” he says.
“I’ll do my best.”
“That’s my girl.”
You kept your word throughout the hike Joel leads you on, only complaining about the hills once. It all becomes worth it when you break through the tree line and find yourself on a cliff overlooking the canyon below, the scene so picturesque it takes your breath away.
“It’s so pretty,” you say, breathless from the view and the hike in equal measure.
“Sure is,” Joel replies, but when you turn to look at him, you find he’s watching you. The attention makes you feel warm and giddy. “Was it worth the bugs?”
“Maybe. Jury’s still out,” you tell him. He wraps an arm around your waist and presses a kiss to your temple.
“Thanks for comin’ out here with me.”
You kiss him back, his beard rough beneath your lips. “Of course. It’s not every day you turn fifty.”
“Don’t remind me.”
When you first met Joel twelve years ago, he’d been hired by your parents to work on their house while they were off on a cruise and you were home from college for the summer. The start of your relationship was rocky at best but now the two of you have managed to build a life together despite the early hurdles.
“Let’s get back to the tent before it gets too dark,” he suggests, bringing you back to the present. “I got a surprise for you.”
“Is the surprise your—“
“Don’t be a little devil,” Joel says, cutting you off as you laugh.
Back at the campsite, Joel drags the cooler out of the tent and opens it, gesturing to the contents like he’s on a game show. Inside you see a stack of chocolate bars, a box of graham crackers and a bag of marshmallows.
“Are we making s’mores?” You ask, unable to hide your glee.
“Yep. But first, you’re goin’ to build a fire.”
You stare blankly at him. “Come again?”
“I’ll make sure you do,” he says with a wink.
“I can’t build a fire.”
“You can’t build a fire yet. I’ll teach you. Come on, let’s find some kindling.”
Joel leads you around the campsite, helping you collect dry twigs and leaves. At the fire ring, he guides you through the steps of setting up the tinder before handing you a box of matches. You strike a match and attempt to get the kindling to catch, but the flame almost reaches the tips of your fingers before it can and you drop the match in panic.
“You’re gonna hurt yourself if you keep that up,” Joel says.
“Then why don’t you help me?”
“Where’s the fun in that?”
Despite his joke, Joel kneels beside you and takes the matches from your hand, lighting one. He holds the flame to one of the dry leaves in the pile and once it catches, he leans in to gently blow into the building flame until it’s strong enough to sustain itself. He leans back and gives you a smug smile that makes you roll your eyes.
“There. Now you’ve built your first fire,” he says.
Joel brings the cooler and the roasting skewers he packed over to the fire and begins arranging the supplies on a plate while you sit nearby on the log bench. You tip your head back to look up at the sky, the last remnants of the sunset fading and the stars beginning to blanket the inky darkness. There’s a tranquility out here you’re not used to, not with your busy schedule at the hospital and the chaos of having a teenager and a pre-teen at home.
Joel taps your shoulder for your attention and hands you a roasting fork loaded with a jumbo marshmallow on the tip. You take it from him and lean closer to the fire, sticking the marshmallow straight into the blaze.
“That’ll burn it,” Joel warns, keeping his further away.
“They’re better crispy,” you argue. When the marshmallow catches fire, you pull it back out and let it burn for a moment, watching the exterior turn black before you hastily blow out the flame.
“That just ain’t right.” Joel continues to slowly roast his, turning the fork periodically.
The two of you spend a few hours enjoying the s’mores and each other’s company. When the fire dies down and you run out of supplies, you lean your head against Joel’s shoulder.
“You ready to admit that campin’ ain’t that bad?” Joel asks.
“I don’t know. I could still use a little convincing,” you reply, lifting your head to look at him.
His warm, broad palm settles on the back of your neck, pulling you in for a kiss that makes your toes curl. It’s slow and deep, none of the rush you feel back at home because the pace of your lives calls for it. This moment, under the stars and in front of the fire, has you feeling like you’re twenty-three again, jumping head first into what would be the best decision of your life.
You’re breathless when Joel pulls away and brings his hand to your cheek, his thumb swiping across your kiss swollen lips.
“Why don’t you go get comfortable in the tent for me and I’ll take care of puttin’ out the fire?” He suggests.
“You don’t have to ask me twice,” you reply, standing up so quickly you nearly knock your husband off balance. He smacks your ass as you turn to leave and the sound of his laughter follows you into the tent.
Once inside, you turn on the little battery powered lantern Joel hung up and find your bag, rifling through the contents for the lingerie you brought along for the trip. You quickly strip yourself of your clothing from the day and change into the matching set before settling on the pile of sleeping bags with your feet towards the entrance.
You hear the zipper on the tent flap and your heart races as Joel comes into view, pausing to look his fill and whistling lowly. He crawls inside, hovering over you on his hands and knees.
“All this for me?” He asks, ducking his head down to kiss your collarbone. “How’d I get so lucky?”
“You just couldn’t keep your hands to yourself,” you joke. Joel laughs, warm hand cupping your breast and his fingers pinching your nipple through the fabric. Your back arches at the sensation.
“Some things never change.”
Joel’s lips meet yours in a languorous kiss that pulls little moans from you as it progresses into something heated and urgent. You’re arching beneath him, demanding more touch, more attention, and he’s never been one to turn you down. One of his hands traces the length of your body until his fingers dip beneath the elastic of your underwear, immediately tracing through your wet heat.
“Goddamn,” Joel says, voice dark and eyes darker with lust. “Already so wet for me, huh?”
It’s not a question to be answered, not when he dips two fingers inside of you and curls them with an expert precision that makes you gasp. His thumb circles your clit each time his fingers draw back.
“So pretty,” he murmurs. “Always so fuckin’ pretty.”
He keeps the perfect rhythm with his fingers until you’re gasping his name and he’s talking you through your release with whispered praise and dirty words. When you’re boneless and breathless, he withdraws his hand and lifts it to your face, pressing his fingers to your lips. You open your mouth and he slips the digits against your tongue, the distinct taste of yourself exploding across your tastebuds.
“That’s it, sweetheart, clean ‘em up,” Joel commands. His eyes are fixed on you as you obey, his jaw tense as you put on a show for him, licking and sucking his fingers like you would his cock.
Joel pulls his hand away and makes quick work of removing your underwear, sliding the fabric down your thighs and tossing it aside. He spreads your legs wide enough to settle on his belly between them, face inches from your now bare pussy.
He kisses the inside of one thigh, then the other, repeating the attention until he’s so close to where you desperately need him that you can feel the warmth of his breath and you shiver in anticipation. When the heat of his mouth envelopes your sensitive clit, the sudden stimulation has you thrusting your hips against his face. His grip tightens on your thighs, holding you in place as he lavishes your cunt with messy attention.
You reach down to tangle your fingers in his dark hair, the strands now streaked with more gray than they have been in the past when you’ve been in this exact position. Joel groans against you, the vibration making you whimper and beg for more, more, more.
He’s a man on a mission, not stopping for breath or pausing to tease and taunt you with pet names and dirty words. His tongue circles your clit in broad strokes that has another wave of release cresting and crashing over you in record time. Your thighs shake in his grip and your fingers tighten in his hair to a point that you know must be painful but you just don’t care, and neither does he.
Your muscles finally relax and that’s when he sits up, frantically unbuttoning his flannel shirt with uncoordinated fingers and wrestling his boots and jeans off with equal fervor. His cock stands at attention and your mouth waters at the view, the thick head flushed and glistening with precum. You’re close to offering an equal exchange, his mouth on you for your mouth on him, but he has other ideas.
Joel’s hands paw at your hips, turning you over so that you’re flat on your belly. You lift your head to look over your shoulder as he shoves your right leg up with a bend at your knee, baring your pussy for him. He settles between your legs and takes himself in hand, running the head of his cock through the mess he’s made of you.
“You ready, baby?” He asks, slipping himself inside of you the tiniest bit, just enough to feel the stretch of him and want more. “Tell me you’re ready.”
“I’m so ready,” you moan, lifting your hips to take him in deeper. He wraps both hands around your bare hips as he sinks inside of you with one smooth thrust that leaves you gasping.
Joel lowers his body on top of yours, his chest to your back and his lips on your shoulder as he starts to thrust his hips, the angle deep and perfect on every slide inside of you and his cock dragging against your g-spot each time he draws back. He takes his time using your body for your shared pleasure and you relish the way he’s taken over every one of your senses.
“Gonna come,” he murmurs against your neck before biting at the skin over your pulse. You tighten around him and he groans, hips growing erratic in their movements. It’s only a few more sloppy thrusts before his hips are pressing tightly to your ass and he goes still, warmth flooding you as your pussy clenches around his cock.
You whine at the loss when Joel pulls away but he’s quick to return with a wet wipe that he uses to clean you up a bit before settling back down beside you. You rest your head on his chest and his fingers trace patterns on your shoulder as the sweat cools on your skin.
“You ready to admit campin’ ain’t so bad?” Joel asks.
“Consider me convinced.”
#joel fic#joel miller x reader#joel miller#joel miller fic#joel miller x female reader#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller smut#joel miller x you#joel tlou#joel x reader#no use of y/n#summerlovin24#pedro pascal character fanfic
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TRAINING SEASON — Jensen Ackles
Summary: After a tumultuous relationship and a hard break up, you get trapped in between your co-star and a casual one night stand. But there's nothing you regret about.
Pairing: Jensen Ackles x female reader, actress!reader.
Word count: 1,076.
Warnings: implied sex like the morning-after-sex, nudity, some sexy time but no full smut, friends to lovers, language, idk just wrote this quickly.
Notes: AU where Jensen is obviously single, and reader is like 38 in my head don't asky why I like this number, I still have no idea. And I just love, and I mean, loooveeee getting obsessed with hot men over 40, can you tell?
>> disclaimer: i totally respect the private lifes of the actors and celebrities i use for my fanfictions, and of course their personal relationships. this is only fiction written for fun and nothing more.
☕ if you like my writing, support me with a ko-fi !
GEN MASTERLIST!
Opening your eyes, you stirred on the soft bed and noticed your sorroundings. This wasn't your hotel room. Your bare body hidden under the blank, messy bed sheets reminded you of yesterday's events. You smiled.
The other side of the bed was warm. His body pressing against yours felt perfect, and you wrapped your hand on his own, which was laying on your waist, like if he didn't want to let go of you. Your mind started remembering his touch on your skin, the way he would kiss every inch of your stomach, the trail of kisses he left all over you, and his love bites around your neck and chest. The burning between your thighs and the soreness let you notice it was as good as you imagined it to be, even before it happened.
"Whatcha thinking?" he asked, raspy and soft voice booming in your ears.
"Mmm... Nothing, just how great you felt last night," you teased, turning your head to see his face directly. Bare skin, disheveled hair, and tired but loving eyes met you. God, he was beautiful. He looked so fucked out in the best way possible one could describe it.
Jensen chuckled and kissed your cheek. Still, he never let go his embrace on you. He looked at you vividly for a long time, scanning every feature of your face, like he wanted to save all of you in just an instant. Your brows furrowed for a moment.
"What?" you whispered.
"We didn't fuck this up, did we?"
A sigh left your lips, your hand ran on his hair softly. You knew what he meant. You had a bad relationship and an even worse break up months before you started working together, and Jensen became a great friend as you tried to overcome it. And it was so hard not to fall for him when it felt like you knew each other for decades. He was someone you could trust your deepest secrets, pain and thoughts. A part of you did not want to cry on his shoulder for days once you got comfortable around him, nor letting him know how terrible you felt at the time. But he never judged you. He just was there, listening and offering a helping hand expecting nothing back.
But your feelings changed in the course. As months went by, an amazing, caring and loving friendship bloomed between both of you. Since the project was a long new TV series, you used to spend a huge amount of time together as your characters appeared to be in a slow building relationship. And now, the premiere was done, but the press tour barely started, so that meant you were not getting away from each other in a good time now.
"No," you finally answered. "Of course no."
"I mean, I know what you been through, and I- I don't wanna ruin anything-"
"Jensen, is fine," you cut him off. His eyes locked on yours, concern washed all over his handsome face. "I am fine with this, are you?"
"Absolutely," he said. "I always was. I mean, I liked you for a long time now," he laughed a little, making you smile. One of his hands now carressing your bare thigh, feeling the heat of your skin.
Jensen leaned down and pecked your lips softly, his lips slowly found its way to your neck, kissing and biting the flesh, exactly how he did last night. He groaned, tasting the saltiness, and you let out a soft moan as he flipped you around. You laid on your back, him on top. His tongue tracing your skin, stopping right before your breats. God, you were getting wet again.
Unlucky for you, your phone started ringing, breaking the moment and Jensen, with a disappointed look on his face, gave you the space to run and answer. By the way you were talking, he figured it was your manager, so he hid behind the covers, admiring you from afar. When you ended the phone call, you walked to him. His eyes kept lusting over your naked figure as you looked for your clothes all over the room. He sadly knew you were postponing until you had enough alone time together.
"I keep forgetting we're still on press tour," you kissed his cheek softly once you put on your underwear and grabbed your clothes to get decent to leave. "I'll be going now, sorry."
"It's fine," Jensen smiled, standing up and putting up some pants. He followed you before you crossed the door. "I'll see you later tonight then, how about dinner?" he casually asked, leaning down. "And then we could probably take care of some other things," he whispered in your ear. You bit your lip, eager to know what he had in mind.
"That'll be amazing, surprise me!"
You gave him a playful wink, and taking your purse you left his room with a wide grin on your face. You were so glad you stopped dating trainees to build a relationship with. Jensen was a self-confident, expert man, and you were more than happy to give it a shot.
#jensen ackles x reader#jensen ackles x female reader#jensen ackles imagines#jensen ackles imagine#jensen ackles x you#jensen ackles x y/n#jensen ackles fanfiction#jensen ackles fic#supernatural#the boys#jensen ackles#i love you sir
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⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ a residue series installment ˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆
from the hive 🎙️🐝 : session 1
✎ elementary-teacher!reader (miss.honey) x biker!benny 🏍️
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🐝 main hive | sweet talkin’ | honey, are you comin’? 🍯
summary: based off the two parts listed above, spoken from honey’s pov. some never before seen bonus tidbits included to be extended upon in future residue parts ;)
warnings: smoking, talks of violence, arson, potential stalking, some cursing here and there. nothing too crazy.
word count: idek tbh, i oddly wrote it in my tumblr drafts to get me inspired before writing the main residue installments.
💌 requests are open, send ‘em honey 💋
↻ ◁ || ▷
↺ ▶︎•၊၊||၊|။||||။၊|။•
honey: “y’want some honey in your tea?”
danny: “sure, thanks.”
[ a clanking sounds of what must be a spoon is heard in the background of the recording ]
honey: “anytime, sweets.”
danny: “wait, i’ve seen this before.”
honey: “huh?”
danny: “this company. isn’t that — wait that’s your last name ain’t it?”
honey: “yeah, my pa’s a bee keeper. ma jars the honey with some top secret ingredient that’s got the town buzzin’. whole family business.”
danny: “ah, no wonder you got that nickname.”
honey: “yep, since the womb.”
danny: “interestin’. did benny know that when he met ya?”
honey: “hm…not that i know of. might of. if he didn’t, m’sure johnny must of told him.”
danny: “how’d you meet benny then?”
honey: “how’d i meet benny?”
danny: “yeah.”
honey: “well…you know, i was just mindin’ my own business. working a regular school day at the elementary school on phipps. i was teaching the third grade at the time and johnny’s girls just so happened to be in my class. the main office sent me a note in the middle of the day informing me that the girls would be picked up by their uncle benny. i didn’t think too much of it at the time, hey it wasn’t unusual for kids to be picked up by extended family members, y’know? but i guess i — i had this vision of what he’d be like. fucked up i know, but ya see, i knew johnny. not in the way one would expect. [ honey laughs ] johnny was — well he was mr. davis to me, respectfully so, just like any parent would be to one of my students. but he was also the mr. davis i knew from mass at st. caron’s on the corner of rose and dawn. he’d be walkin’ around in a suit and tie, the whole get up, solemn as he ushered pew to pew with the collections basket for the poor and during communion on sundays 12pm sharp.
danny: “interesting. so i suspect you saw johnny rather often then?”
honey: “oh yeah, every week. went with my ma and pa all the time and like clock work he was there. such a clean cut dignified family man. so it was no surprise for me to be taken aback by benny’s appearance when he pulled up at the school yard.”
danny: “did he bring his bike?”
honey: “hell no! had johnny’s car. ‘twas a real trip with his colors on and a cigarette propped between those pillowly lips of his.”
danny: [ laughs ] “i can imagine. when was this exactly?”
honey: “oh it had to be close to the end of june, right before the start of the summer of ‘65. school was just about ending. had a week left or so. oh yeah — yeah, i remember cause it was real hot out too — sweltering heat, like that sticky kind that can only be equated to bein’ stuck in a classroom with a half broken fan. aw it was the worst. i had on this baby pink tank of sorts with thick straps under this overall dress i decked out a while back. it was real cute. had all these flowers and things i embroidered on it.
danny: “right, the embroidery. heard a thing or two about bedazzled patches on the vandal jackets.”
honey: “‘course you did. the skill got me going with the boys. when sonny started riding with ‘em he let me bejewel the fringes of his jacket real pretty. always a good sport. but anyways — yeah so i had this cute little get up on and my hair was all up and out of my face, real messy for the 60s. kinda stuck out like a sore thumb at school, but what shits did i give?
danny: “none?”
honey: “damn right. so yeah, it was kind of funny when benny came strolling up to me, weaving through all the parents like a puzzle piece that didn’t quite fit one bit.”
danny: “what were your first impressions of him?”
honey: “i was impressed to say the least. only had my reservations for what — half a minute? yeah, i’d say a good thirty seconds before i was smiling up at him.”
danny: “did he scare you? scare any of the parents, other teachers?”
honey: “i wasn’t scared of him no…as for the others, sure. mrs. rubin was all this and that and the other thing ‘bout him after that, especially when it got more serious and he was waitin’ round the school. she didn’t appreciate the loitering, but he was harmless, as harmless as benny could be. though, i was more refreshed really to see somebody so interesting….so different from everybody else. it made me feel seen, y’know?”
danny: “so what happened next? when he got to you?”
honey: “he’s standin’ in front of me and i’m bein’ a good egg with both girls at my sides, small fingers wrapped around each hand, and i go ‘hi, you must be uncle benny. i’m miss. honey.’ and he takes a good minute to give me a once over, like introducing myself was the craziest thing i could of done. then that thick smokey voice of his went “honey, huh?” and my tummy rumbled up so much so i was sure the butterflies i stitched ripped right off and flew about my dress. [ honey laughs again ] i was kind of just like ‘yep, that’s me’ or whateva, and god i was so sure i fucked it all up.”
danny: “how come?”
honey: “anyone that knows benny knows he’s not a man of many words by any means, so at the time i took his silence as a sign of unimpression. i mean if you took a look at us two — and i mean a quick glance or somethin’, we definitely seemed like an odd pair. but if you really looked rather closely, takin’ the time to absorb every detail, i’d definitely say we were far more similar past the common eye. but, i’ll go into that later. [ honey pauses for a moment ] sorry did i answer the question?”
danny: “you did, you did.”
honey: “good, good….so where was i?”
danny: “you were talkin’ about introducing yourself to benny and him being unimpressed.”
honey: “right, so one of johnny’s girl starts gettin’ all antsy. wants to go. has herself practically all over benny in a beg. her sister — no. her sister doesn’t wanna. the little thing has her hand practically chain locked to mine. so i did what any teacher would do and sweet talked her into going.”
danny: “how’d you manage that?”
honey: “i reminded her that her pa was a good man. that his interests were just as important as her own. that was all it took really.”
danny: “did you still think that later on? still do? after everything?
honey: [ honey sighs and puts out a cigarette she’d been smoking throughout the session ] “i did and i still do. i know some people will say that johnny was no good, that his club only created chaos. really though, the johnny i knew was trying to keep the peace as my benny well — wasn’t. one wrong look in my direction and my man was jumping the fool in seconds flat. and if they got a hand on me, oh they’d have to have a death wish upon ‘em. benny would not stand for that. he’d make their life a livin’ hell for as long as they lived. johnny — no johnny wasn’t like that unless it was real bad. unless someone got real hurt, then he’d fight back.”
danny: “like the bar fire?”
honey: “exactly like the bar fire. sure, a part of me felt bad for the owner. that his establishment just went up in flames like that. but the other part of me was glad those fuckers couldn’t step foot in such a place no more. and on top of i was rather pissed off — still am — by the fact that the owner just let my benny get attacked like that. did nothing to stop it. boils my blood just thinking about it. just thinking about my sweet benny minding his business and gettin’ swarmed for just wearin’ his colors. colors that wouldn’t come off of him once i got my artsy hands on it. he was absolutely obsessin’ with the patches i made. especially the one that said “honey’s hubby” with a big ol’ heart. made my cheeks burn real bad when he’d kiss it before tossing it right back on.”
danny: “i remember seeing that.”
honey: “you do?!”
danny: “yeah, the times i rode with the guys. i caught ‘em doing it here and there. especially when he was ‘bout to mount his bike before a ride. figured it was some sort of good luck charm before i really took a good look at what the patch said. then i realized it was you.”
honey: “danny?”
danny: “what?”
honey: “you gotta stop or i’m gonna be gushin’ the whole rest of this interview without giving yuh the real stuff.”
danny: “alright, alright [ lyon laughs ] back to business. so, what happened after you got johnny’s girl to go with benny? when’d you see him again?”
honey: “funnily enough, ‘twas the very next day. saw him first in the mornin’ y’know at drop off. i figured he gave a ride to the girls again or somethin’ — but no. it was betty who did. she came right up to me that morning to say hello. the hell was i thinkin’? i mean benny had his whole bike on him. no shot in hell he’d bring the girls on it.”
danny: “sure.” [ sarcasm is apparent in lyon’s words ]
honey: “danny no! [ honey laughs ] benny was wild but not that wild. he’d never let anything happen to those girls.”
danny: “i know, i know. only jokin’. i’m assumin’ that’s what drew you to him though?”
honey: “it was definitely a solid factor.”
danny: “understandable. did you go talk to him, at drop off?”
honey: “no, no. I didn’t think too much of it at the time and i couldn’t go shoot the breeze with him anyways. the lot was packed with all these little ones. i had to roll call mine. it wasn’t until after lunch hour during recess that i did.”
danny: “he was still there then? never left?”
honey: “as far as i know, no. had a whole garden of cigarette buds circling his feet like he’d been there for hours.”
danny: “what’d you say when you approached him?”
honey: “said something about the girls not getting out for another few hours and then asked him if he was stalkin’ me off the bat. oh — he offered me a cigarette too, and i took it.”
danny: “ripped the bandage right off i see. how’d he take that?”
honey: “seemed amusin’ to him. he made one of those faces that had all his features turnin’ up real pretty. can never forget that. flat out told me he wasn’t which i found strangely adorable. then — i don’t really know how it happened, but he was changing the subject completely. y’know when you’re having a conversation and ya kind of just naturally switch topics easily, but it’s done so smoothy, like the segue isn’t rough or whatever?”
danny: “yeah, i know what y’mean. the previous topic is wedged in there somehow subtly, but it makes sense why you got there.”
honey: “exactly. but, benny. no — when benny was in the midst of a conversation and started going on about something else there was no ease there. yet, you’d be fooled to think so. that’s how he got us out of most arguments honestly. one minute i wouldn’t be too happy with him about somethin’. probably somethin’ stupid anyways. if not stupid, than definitely about him ridin’ with an injury. always got me nervous. but then of course the next he’d have me wrapped up in his embrace as if five minutes prior hadn’t happened. here, for instance though, i guess the transition kind of made sense? i mean i was goin’ on about my co-worker freaking out about him just parking ship near campus, blabbing about and he’s asking about what time i get out, and if i wanna go on a ride. now, i’m dumbfounded by this. cause what the hell does he want to do with me, y’know?”
danny: “so what did ya do? did ya go with him?”
honey: “what’a ya think, daniel?”
[ an unknown interruption cuts the session here, but lyon obtains all the information from honey he needs — for now, that is ;) ]
[ the tape ends ]
↻ ◁ || ▷
author’s note: hope ya liked this! i’m such a sucker for an interview writing style. daisy jones & the six is my favorite books ever if you can’t tell! <3
my requests are open for any miss honey x benny cross works + any convos about these two in general. don’t be shy honey, i’m all for yapping in the asks.
+ don’t forget to comment if you’d like be added to “da bee hive” (my version of da tag list)
smoochies. all da love xanadu 💋
da bee hive 🐝🍯
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#miss honey x benny cross#from the hive 🎙️🐝#benny cross fanfiction#the bikeriders fanfiction#danny the bikeriders#mike faist fanfic#austin butler fanfiction#johnny davis#tom hardy#benny cross x reader
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Californication, Pt. 3
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Summary: The last part of my mini 'series', it's your last night of vacation and you've got only one thing on your mind, doing Joel.
Pairing: No-outbreak! Joel Miller x Fem!Reader 'Cara'
Wc: 4k
Warnings: Big age gap, but still very much legal, (Joel is 40-something, referred to as 'old man', reader is 18, referred to as 'little girl'), dirty themes, dirty talk, smut.
Notes: Last part of this, enjoy... I wrote this for some closure on the story bc apparently you horny tumblrinas need them to fuck. Jk love you all, more fanfics coming stay tuned.
Suntanned legs, a nose that's a little burnt—just right, so that it looks like you're wearing blush all the time. The smell of nature, heat, and chlorine. You were on your third day of vacation in Palm Springs, California. Everything was right—except for the fact that Joel hadn't spoken to you since your little late-night rendezvous a couple of nights ago. You thought you had finally done it; you'd gotten the man that you had fantasized about every single day since the 7th grade. But no—Joel had left you satisfied, but ultimately, alone.
Palm Springs had still been a blast for you and Sarah. You had tanned, listened to music, explored the area—you even found a couple of cute guys, a few years older than you. But after that night with Joel, you had a gnawing feeling that a boy your age was never going to cut it again. Sure, boys your age could sometimes be sweet, caring, fun… but the thing you had with Joel—it was downright animalistic. The pure desire that had led you to lay down on his bed, pantless, listening to his every instruction like a lost puppy—it was something else. Indescribable urge.
It's not like you didn't try to seduce him. The past three days, you had tried every trick in the book. You'd worn the shortest shorts you owned, dropped things just to bend over to pick them up in front of him, and even pretended to accidentally pour something on your shirt in the kitchen. So, you'd have to take off your shirt and reveal the tiny black bikini top underneath. But regardless of all these borderline pathetic tries, Joel's attitude towards you was more Catholic priest with sworn celibacy than anything else. Although he had had no problem showing off his abs at the pool, asking you to put sunscreen on his back, or walking around the vacation house in nothing but gray sweats that left absolutely nothing to the imagination.
You were fed up.
Despite Joel's apathetic attitude towards you, it still felt like a fucked-up game of cat and mouse—to make matters worse, you weren't entirely sure which one you were supposed to be. Tonight was your last night in Palm Springs before you had to go back to your ordinary, boring life. No more casual flirting with Joel. After tonight, he would go back to being your old neighbor and your best friend's father, and eventually, he would just fade out of your life.
But you needed him.
Something inside you had gotten its claws on him, and they were not about to let go. You had a visceral feeling that if you didn't sleep with Joel tonight, you would regret it for the rest of your life. Be it teenage hormones or the Californian heat… but you had made up your mind.
Now, you were lying on one of the tanning beds by the pool. The sun was scorching down on you, making your skin hot to the touch. You could almost feel the sun lightening your hair even more. Sarah was lying right next to you, drinking a coconut water and reading some book you hadn’t bothered to find out about. Your parents had gone to see some old tree somewhere—you couldn’t care less. Joel was swimming laps in the pool. He already looked like he had been sculpted by a Greek god, but here he was, working out on vacation, occasionally splashing water on you two to cool you down.
“Doesn’t it suck that it’s our last day?” Sarah said, her voice whiny. She sipped her drink loudly and looked at you from under her big brown Gucci sunglasses. You threw your head back in agony. Being reminded of your limited time in this paradise brought all your thoughts about Joel bubbling right back to the top of your mind.
“Don’t remind me. Back home, we have school and work to deal with. Here, we only have to worry about our tans,” you said, pretending to cry for dramatic effect.
“I mean, at least you look tanned as fuck,” Sarah pointed out, a big smile on her face. You held your arm up to investigate. It was true—you were very tanned. You could smell the carrot tanning oil on your skin and see the water droplets dripping off, almost sizzling away. You decided to play a little.
“Hey, Joel!” You yelled loud enough for him to hear you over the splashing of the water. Sarah wasn’t even paying attention anymore—she was headfirst in her book. Joel stopped swimming and popped his head up, giving you a confused look.
“Do you think I look tanned?” You asked, feigning innocence. You sat up so he could “see your tan better,” but truthfully—it was your almost-naked body you wanted him to see. Furthermore, you smiled at him, a sheepish smile. He looked at you knowingly, a tiny smirk painting his face.
“I dunno. Why don’t ya’ come closer?” You got up slowly and walked closer to the edge of the pool. Simultaneously, Joel swam closer to you. He stopped right at the edge, only inches from you.
You were about to ask him again about your tan—but you were cut off by his hand grabbing your ankle and pulling you into the pool. You let out a scream-laugh as you were pulled in. His hand covered your entire ankle easily, with a little room to spare. It didn’t take him much force to pull you in. Your body made a big splash as you fell into the pool, and you could feel your tanning oil dissolving into the water.
“Joel! Now I have to reapply my tanning oil!” You screamed at him, not as much angry as in shock. He just laughed a hearty laugh, insinuating that he didn’t care much about your tanning oil at all. You swam to the pool stairs, leaving behind a slight layer of oil on top of the pool water. You splashed water with your feet, aiming at Joel, annoyed at him for getting you wet.
“Look what your dad did!” You playfully yelled at Sarah, who was still preoccupied with her book. She looked up and laughed at your mad face, covered in wet hair. It was at that moment that you heard the similarity in her and Joel's laughs. It sort of freaked you out, but you brushed it off as you went back to lay on the sunbed.
“Will you try not to kill my dad if I go cut up some fruit?” Sarah asked, jokingly.
“Can’t make any promises.” You furrowed your brows at Joel and gave a quick look of approval to Sarah, who left the patio and went into the kitchen with a sense of urgency. The fact that she left worked out perfectly for you—because now it was time for plan two. You changed position so you were lying on your stomach, and you shouted out to Joel.
“Can you put some tanning oil on my back? It’s your fault I need more!” To your surprise, you heard Joel get up from the pool. You heard water dripping quietly onto the stone patio as he made his way closer to you. You couldn’t see him, but you could feel his presence looming over you as he reached down for the tanning oil bottle and squeezed some into his hands. Furthermore, you braced for impact as his big, warm hands made contact with your back—they felt like they were supposed to be there. He started out rubbing the oil on your upper back, almost carefully. But after you let out a small moan of approval, his skillful hands began massaging the oil onto your back firmly. It felt like one of those massages at your mom’s spa she took you to sometimes. Except now your masseuse was a hot, strong man instead of that old German lady who usually massaged you.
You felt Joel’s hands leave your back, and you groaned in annoyance.
“Hey, if ya’ want a long massage, it ain’t gon’ be free,” he joked.
“Can I get a happy ending if I give you 2 dollars?” He didn’t answer. He only chuckled slightly and gave your back a friendly tap as he got up and left you all alone at the pool.
So much for that plan.
The rest of the day went by fast, just lying by the pool. You and Sarah had ordered some Taco Bell and watched Love Island, but ultimately, it was quite the chill day with not much on the agenda. You had already gone through the shopping, sightseeing, and other vacation activities, so today, you could all use the downtime.
Now it was 7 p.m., the sun was starting to set slowly behind the mountains, and the smell of sunshine and sweat had transformed into the scent of flowers and smoke from nearby houses grilling. Since it was your last night, you had all decided it would be nice to hold a movie night at the villa. Your parents had made nachos, and Joel had made margaritas for everyone. Now you were all sitting on the couch, looking for a movie to watch. You were sitting between Sarah and Joel, and your parents were sitting on the smaller sofa by themselves.
“Can we not just watch Mean Girls?” You and Sarah whined, which didn’t warrant good reactions from the older crowd.
“We ain’t watchin’ some chick flick,” Joel pitched in, sipping his drink and adjusting himself on the black leather sofa.
“Yeah, girls, we’re watching a classic,” your mom said firmly. She rarely left room for debate.
After a while of scrolling through Netflix, you finally landed on a movie. Joel pressed play after getting a few encouraging nods from the “old people,” who apparently knew everything about cinema.
“Dirty Dancing?” You challenged, nudging Sarah, who didn’t seem to have an opinion about the movie choice.
“Yeah? And what about it?” Joel lifted his eyebrow, challenging you to say anything bad about a classic like Dirty Dancing.
You just moaned. You were so used to getting what you wanted that it annoyed you when it came to movies—your parents thought they knew way more than you or Sarah.
“Joel, shut her up!” Your parents joked. They had gone all in with the “fun parent” act. Joel smiled at them and hooked his hand around your head, pulling you into him in a joking way to stop you from whining.
Everybody laughed when he let you go, but you couldn’t decide what feeling you were going to let take control—anger or arousal. So, you decided to shut up and watch the movie.
The nachos were all gone, all the margaritas had been drunk, Sarah had already gone to bed one hour into the movie, and now it was just you, Joel, and your parents. The comforting glow of the television made you sleepy, and you felt safe next to Joel. At some point, he’d put on a blanket, and at some point, you had crawled under it. You were almost half asleep when the ending credits rolled, and you heard your parents get up.
“Well, we’re going to bed. He’s half asleep, so if we stay down here any longer, I’ll have to carry him up,” your mom pointed out with a hoarse, tired voice.
You all said your goodnight wishes, and the TV started automatically playing some random movie. You looked up at Joel, who was already looking at you, his eyes hooded and his face relaxed. The air felt heavy, a lingering tension left from your previous attempts at flirtation—it felt like he could sense another attempt coming his way. But you were tired of this. He’d made the margaritas too strong, and you felt tipsy. The night felt almost unreal, like the strange timelessness you sometimes feel at the airport, where there’s no sense of time or space—just that one moment, stretching endlessly.
“Ya know, it ain’t like I don’t like ya, Cara,” Joel broke the silence. He sounded almost sorry—about what, you didn’t know.
His hand found its way to your arm, and he began drawing slow, random patterns on your skin, gently. He looked lost in thought, as though he were fighting an inner battle.
“Well, if you like me, you sure do a good job of hiding it,” you replied, trying to sound angry or frustrated. It was hard when your head felt so light, for more reasons than one. You weren’t sure if it was Joel or the tequila making you drunk—maybe both.
Joel laughed, so sure of himself. He adjusted himself so he was facing you, looking right into your eyes. The room was dark, but even then, the light in his eyes was almost blinding. You couldn’t explain the feeling of looking into his eyes, even if you tried. It made you forget about everything—it was hypnotic.
“I think you’re great, sweetheart. But you’re so very young,” he said, his eyes now exuding sympathy above all else.
“I’m not that young,” you countered. Of course, you were aware of the age gap—you knew you were young. But did it really matter when it came to you and Joel? Those moments of looking into each other’s eyes seemed to exceed all time, all age… you were one.
Joel smiled. It was the kind of smile older people give when they think about their childhood, or when your grandma tells you that her cat died but is in a better place. That all-knowing smile that’s supposed to comfort you—but you were a stubborn girl. Since you were small, that’s all you’d ever been told. You knew Joel would give in—or, at least, you hoped he would.
In a small moment, you were on top of Joel. Your lips pressed against his, and your hands rested on his chest—you wanted to hold him down, to keep him that close to you forever. This kiss was different from your first one—it felt real.
After a few breathless seconds, Joel lifted you off him. He didn’t do it harshly; he did it slowly, carefully, as if every movement was calculated.
“Oh, darlin’, just don’t go startin’ something that you can’t finish.”
“Joel—I need you.”
“You don't need me, ya just want me.” Joel pointed out, knowing that it was a lie. He knew that you needed him just as much as he needed you, the pull between you two was more than he had ever felt with anyone. The animalistic urge he had towards you, was nothing short of biological, it was meant to be in every sense of the phrase. It was written in the stars, it was purely physical, it was spiritual— it was all-consuming.
“No, Joel… I need you.” The way you said that, was more than convincing for Joel. Truth be told, it had been torture for him to avoid you these past couple of days. Every single time you pranced around him in the house, or at the pool, he was fighting every instinct in his body that told him to have you. But tonight, there was something in the air that made him weak to his own desires. He snapped.
He pounced on top of you, like a hungry lion, ready to devour its victim— but he didn't want to devour you… he wanted to have you slowly, like a 5-course meal. Not only that, but he wanted to make you wait for it, he wanted to make himself wait for it. If this was the only time you ever did this, he was going to make it feel like eternity.
You breathed out heavily, as his hands found your wrists and held them on either sides of your head. He stared at you, he saw you, every part of you, there… for him. He slowly licked the length of your neck, he wanted to taste you— it felt like hours, but when he got to the bottom of your chin… he began sucking on your neck in a sloppy, uncoordinated manner. He found it hard to control himself.
“Fuck… Joel.” You said in a breathy, low voice. You weren't trying to get him to slow down, or speed up— you just found it impossible to control your body anymore, not to mention the sounds that came out of it.
“Shh— darlin', I'm not gon' be able to control myself if I hear you speak like that again.” Joel stated, his voice low and determined. He sounded dead serious, but you didn't have much time to think about it when Joel continued his sloppy kisses all the way down to your chest, and ripped your button-up shirt open, like you were a meal. He was a man starved. He placed his hand on your neck, gently at first— but as he made his way to your lower stomach in a trail of sloppy kisses, with every inch down, his hand tightened. Your head felt lighter than ever, you were gone, off somewhere else, somewhere that only pleasure existed.
“Say no, honey— please.” Joel pleaded to you, wanting you to help him control his sick desires. He loosened the hand on your neck, and eyed your pants, and then your eyes. He squeezed your thigh, to bring you back from wherever you had gone.
You remained completely silent, this was the only thing in you had been this sure of. To you, there was no other option but to give in to your desires, you mouthed a silent 'please' almost undetectable… but Joel saw it, he heard it— he felt it.
He pulled your pants down with urgency, his hands moved in a sloppy, but strong and self-assured way, there was no question in his mind anymore— there was only you. He lowered himself to your level and his mouth found your lower stomach once again, he left soft kisses on your stomach, but to you, they felt electric. Before you were too far gone again in your own land of pleasure, he brought you back. He bit your thigh, not incredibly hard, but so hard that it left a mark. The contrast between pain and pleasure felt so amazing, you could feel your underwear dripping with arousal. You lifted your head to look at Joel, and he was smiling at you devilishly, eyes dark as night.
He moved onto taking off your pink cotton panties, he took the waistline of the panties into his mouth and pulled them down to your ankles with his teeth. When you tried to kick them off completely, he stopped you, he took them into his hands and brought them up to your hands. You looked at him, confused, but you forgot about it when his lips hit yours and his tongue fought its way into your mouth, like he was trying to prove his dominance. He put the panties around your wrists and bound them together, using the panties as a makeshift rope. After he had bound your wrists, he stopped kissing you. He smirked at you enigmatically, before making his way to your slick folds.
“Now be quiet, if your dad finds out, he will kill me.” He said, half serious, half joking. Before his tongue found your most sensitive spot in seconds. You almost let out a moan, but bit your lower lip to stop it— the way Joel's tongue moved on your clit, you had to bite your lip to the point of drawing blood. It wasn't long before you felt a mind-numbing orgasm wash over you, it almost made you lose your head and forget your own name.
Joel kissed your inner thigh tenderly, before returning to your wrists. He released them from the panties, and grabbed your waist, pulling you up and on top of him. You felt woozy, you weren't sure you knew where you were anymore after that orgasm, you thought Joel would've fucked you senseless, him on top, you on the bottom— but his next words exuded so much confidence, you had no room to argue.
“Use me.” Your mouth widened at his words, it seemed like you were in control… but you could feel Joel dominating the situation, manipulating the dynamics between you. But he had given you your chance, and you were going to take it.
Quickly, you pulled his sweats down, with a sense of utter urgency, you removed his shirt, like it was on fire. You could see sweat, glistening on his stomach and chest, as he patiently waited for your next move. You were almost scared to take off his boxers, you could see his bulge through them, and it looked way too big. You looked into his eyes for further confirmation, he was getting impatient.
“Jus' be a good girl, and take 'em off…” He said, his voice low— the kind of voice you'd use to manipulate someone. You bit your lip and freed him of his boxers. He was huge, and evidently, rock hard. He guided you on top of him, letting you take charge quickly after. You lowered yourself on top of his length slowly, inch by inch. Joel sensed that you were going to let out a sound, so he quickly covered your mouth with his hand, and used his other hand to cover his own mouth. Your confidence only grew, you began pumping your body on top of him, the best you could, despite being in a complete haze of pleasure.
Joel couldn't take it anymore, he grabbed your lower waist with force, and guided your body, pumping on top of him, no concern for the sounds that were almost out of your mouth. You had to stop yourself somehow, so you bit down on his shoulder, hard. He let out a guttural growl, that made your orgasm fast approach. You leaned your head back completely, arching your back as the orgasm came flooding through your entire body like you were struck by lightning. Joel came at the same time, his head rolled back and his Adams apple, glistening with sweat, was so prominent, it looked like it was going to rip out of his neck. He let out a quiet, but animalistic moan— and with that, you stopped moving as you both gathered your breath. The room was spinning, time had stood still, you didn't care anymore— not one bit.
“I love you.”
#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller smut#joel miller x reader#joel tlou#joel miller#tlou fanfiction#tlou smut#pedro pascal smut#pedro pascal fanfiction#fanfic#fanfic series#last part#girlblogging#lana del rey#aesthetic#summer aesthetic#california#californication#smut#dirty books#poetry#pedro pascal#minors dni
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People who only wanted to hear a cheerful children's song learning about Joan Petit:
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Joan Petit quan balla ("When Joan Petit dances") is a traditional Catalan children's song that lists a series of parts of the body to move in the dance. Here's a video where you can hear it and see how it's danced: people hold hands and move in a circle and sing "when Joan Petit dances, he dances with his..." and add a body part, then repeat the chorus. Each time, the body parts add up on a list that gets longer and longer and the dancers have to remember and dance in order.
Like it happens with other elements of Catalan folk culture, it's shared with our sister nation, Occitania. Occitans also sing it, with the same melody, the same dance, and the same lyrics as the Catalan song but with the lyrics in Occitan language instead of Catalan. However, in Occitania it's more common to remember who the song is talking about, which is mostly unknown in Catalonia.
Joan Petit was an Occitan farmer. In the year 1643, he led the Croquant Rebellion against the king of France Louis XIV's strong taxation of poor people to gather money for war. Joan Petit was captured and tortured on the breaking wheel. The reason why the song lists body parts is in reference to this torture method of smashing all body parts slowly making its way to the head. The story was quickly told all through Occitania and even crossed the Pyrenees, and the memory of Joan Petit and his rebellion still lives on in Occitania. Maybe that's why the Occitan song, by changing only a few notes at the end of the sentences, sounds much sadder than the Catalan version.
One of the most iconic Occitan bands, Nadau, wrote a song explaining Joan Petit's life. Under the cut you can listen to the song and read the English translation of the lyrics.
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Occitan lyrics and English translation:
En país de Vilafranca / Que s'i lhevèn per milièrs / Contra lo gran rèi de França / En mil shèis cents quaranta tres. Mes òc, praubòt, mes òc praubòt / En mil shèis cents quaranta tres. In the place of Vilafranca / they rose up by the thousands / against the great king of France / in 1643. But yes, poor things, but yes, poor things / in 1643.
Entà har guèrra a la talha / Qu'avèn causit tres capdaus, / L'un Laforca, l'aute Lapalha, / Joan Petit qu'èra lo tresau. Mes òc, praubòt, mes òc, praubòt, / Joan Petit qu'èra lo tresau. To wage war on the taxes / they chose three captains: / one of them was Laforca, the other Lapalha / the third one was Joan Petit. But yes, poor thing, but yes, poor thing / the third one was Joan Petit.
Per tota l'Occitania, / Que'us aperavan croquants, / N'avèn per tota causida, / Que la miseria o la sang. Mes òc praubòt, mes òc praubòt / Que la miseria o la sang. In all Occitania / they called them the Croquants / they didn't have any other choice / than either misery or blood. But yes, poor thing, but yes, poor thing / than misery or blood.
E qu'estón per tròp d'ahida / Venuts per los capulats, / Eths que vivèn de trahida, / Çò qui n'a pas jamei cambiat. Mes òc praubòt, mes òc praubòt, / Çò qui n'a pas jamei cambiat. And because they trusted too much / they were sold by the powerful / [the powerful] lived only of betrayal / a thing that has never changed. But yes, poor thing, but yes, poor thing / a thing that has never changed.
Que'us hiquèn dessús l'arròda, / E que'us croishín tots los òs, / D'aqueth temps qu'èra la mòda / De's morir atau, tròç a tròç. Mes òc praubòt, mes òc praubòt, / De's morir atau, tròç a tròç. They put them on the wheel / and they crushed all their bones. / At that time, it was trendy / to die like this, bit by bit. But yes, poor thing, but yes, poor thing / to die like this, bit by bit.
E qu'estó ua triste dança, / Dab la cama, e lo pè, e lo dit, / Atau per lo rei de França, / Atau que dançè Joan Petit. Mes òc praubòt, mes òc praubòt, / Atau que dançè Joan petit. And it was a sad dance / with the leg, the foot, the finger, / and thus, for the king of France, / danced Joan Petit. But yes, poor thing, but yes, poor thing / thus danced Joan Petit.
E l'istuèra qu'a hèit son viatge, / Qu'a pres camins de cançons, / Camin de ronda taus mainatges, / Mes uei que sabem, tu e jo. Mes òc praubòt, mes òc praubòt, / Mes uei que sabem, tu e jo And the history took its journey / it took paths of songs / and tales for children / but today we know, you and I. But yes, poor thing, but yes, poor thing / but today we know, you and I.
#coses de la terra#joan petit#música#arts#nadau#catalan#occitan#occitania#occitanie#folk music#folk songs#traditional song#traditional music#història#history#french history#world music#other countries
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Scourger/Evil AUs!
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This week, we're getting a little twisted with some scourger/evil AUs. Enjoy nine AUs where the nein don't really play much of a part. Check them out beneath the cut, and don't be shy about letting the authors know if you liked them!
let it blaze alight by GammaRey (7386, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes
Ballroom meetcute, but Essek is also a vampire and Caleb is on a mission.
Reccer says: It is so hot, and I love how Caleb is portrayed.
play with fire by mllekurtz (4749, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: None
Essek hates parties, but at least there’s an interesting conversation to be had with one of the Cerberus’s liasons.
Reccer says: Wonderful snark, intrigue, and tension unraveling into a hot unexpected sending. Part 1 of a fantastic series, birds of prey.
zwiefacher by VillainIHaveDoneThyMother (118 171, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: Rape/Non-con
Bren didn't totally break down and grow as the assistant of Trent. He met a drow at the Martinet.
Reccer says: Scourger!Caleb but he is not evil, he just didn't have the opportunity to flee the grasp of Trent. He still has a kindness that is misused by the repeated intervention of Modify Memory. Essek is the prisoner of Ludinus, and it is very interesting to see them interact with the swapped power imbalance (from the canon).
you're in my veins, i'm chained, to your pain radio by allmadeofstardust (18117, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: Choose Not to Warn
An unbroken Bren meets a jaded Shadowhand. The two of them could topple entire governments. They could make two whole nations bend to their will. But something might get in the way.
Reccer says: I wrote this! I am very very proud of the way I integrated the twist into it, and I loved playing around with how even at their utmost worst and ruthless, these two still find a way to fall in love and see each other as they can be. Dark and dastardly with a sliver of hope.
portraiture of a drow by burningafterdark (burningdarkfire) (2108, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes
The Shadowhand has never been surprised by Bren Aldric Ermendrud.
Reccer says: Based off of an amazing piece of art, they're both so fucked up and horrible for each other (affectionate)
Inciting Incident by thetickingclock (983, Mature) Reccer's Content Notes: Major Character Death, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Referenced Child Abuse
Essek says, “I think we’ve met before.” The Scourger in the cell lifts his head. That shock of red hair is so bright in the dark. “Have we?”
Reccer says: It's twisty and fragmented and upsetting in the best way
half light by prolix (21853, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Under-negotiated kink
(From the author’s summary) On the brink of war between the Empire and the Dynasty, Essek is visited by a Scourger tasked with assassinating him once his use runs out.
Reccer says: Beautifully written, EXCELLENT characterization - only two chapters posted and I am HOOKED. Bren has Essek on his toes and hackles raised, and Essek surprises Bren with his reactions.
tether essence by Laeveteinn (16331, Mature) Reccer's Content Notes: Choose Not to Warn, Dubcon/Consensual Non Consent, Self distructive behaviors
Each time Essek returns to his towers, he searches them for new evidence of Dwendalian trespassing. He catalogues every rumpled cushion cover, every ink spot, every dunamantic text left slightly out of place. It is, he imagines, not unlike coming home to another person.
Reccer says: Romantic and really fucked up, like a cat leaving you a dead mouse in your bed (but also romantic)
And then two recs for this last one:
a body in absentia by nonwal (103601, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes, Choose Not to Warn
Scourger Bren decides to seduce the Shadowhand and finds that the best way to convince someone to be vulnerable with you is to be vulnerable in turn
Reccer 1 says: I liked it! Reccer 2 says: Honestly, this is probably my favourite scourger au fic. Bren is fucked up the characterisation is all on point. And the M9 there are also great.
Want more? Well, we did a previous scourger/evil AU reclist back in March 2023, so you can check those out!
This is one of our weekly communally-generated shadowgast rec lists. Every week we announce a new theme and allow anyone to submit a fic recommendation.
And hey, anyone includes you!
Next week, we'll have a Christmas Eve (or 24th) with Professor Widogast!
Any fics coming to mind? Well, then use this form to submit!
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So I was going through the season taking some screen caps for a different piece of meta when I stumbled on something interesting: the record Aziraphale listens to.
So in 1934, Shostakovich wrote an opera called Lady Macbeth of Mtsensk. It was popular but after Stalin himself deemed the work corrupt he wound up banned by the Soviet Union. This had a huge impact of Shostakovich's life and was a very dangerous thing to have happen to you. There are even stories of him sleeping in stairwells to avoid arrest. So by 1937 he released the Symphony No. 5 in D minor. It is a piece written to get him back into the good grace of the authorities and as such it is informally called A Soviet Artist’s Practical and Creative Response to Just Criticism. This worked. Which on the surface makes sense but I urge you to go listen to this song. It starts out very angry. Then retracts itself into a very hesitant sonata. And then the music cuts into a harsh pattern of notes. It's cuts are jarring and there's something just slightly off in nearly all the melodies. Notably, most symphonies shift to a major key by the end. This one, despite spending a great deal of time leading up to the shift into one, refuses to. It's all false triumph. It's all about pretending to folk under the authority's pressure without actually making something that would glorify it. And it worked. Stalin approved of him again.
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This was what Az was listening to. Az who is about to make a series of not quite right choices that to the right eyes look like him bowing back again under authority's pressure. He's listening to a song built to deceive those with power over the composer into letting him back into the fold. Whatever Metatron did to him and whether Aziraphale was magically and/or mundanely manipulated (I suspect and) I don't think it entirely took hold.
#good omens#good omens spoilers#gos2 spoilers#good omens season 2#every day#the arrival#aziraphale#shostakovich#good omens meta
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As promised, 8-verse song about strieefe!
featuring my brother at the end 😭😭
For those who don’t know the joke, Stria @the-way-astray HAAAATES Keefe Sencen. So naturally it’s a ship! And after this memories post happened, well, I had no choice!
LYRICS UNDER THE CUT
(Verse 1)
There once was a boy from a series for kids
Fan favorite, created as comic relief
But there was a girl who didn’t find him comedic
Her name was Stria, his name was Keefe
(Verse 2)
So let’s just say for this song they’re the same age
And either she’s fictional too or he’s real
And Stria for some reason is her given name
Just wait for what their story will make you feel
(Chorus)
An unlikely couple
Hatred to love
She was nothing to him
Now she’s more than enough
She thought he was toxic
Now she understands
One must always follow
What their heart commands
(Verse 3)
She wrote a whole rant about everything wrong
With how he would talk and the way that he’d act
The day they met she said she was right all along
Told him off and rolled her eyes when he said he felt “attacked”
(Verse 4)
But Keefe had this thing where he hated himself
He was going through it, that much was for sure
He thought long and hard about Stria’s words well
Decided she was right and he should thank her
(Chorus)
An unlikely couple
Hatred to friends
He was nothing to her
We’ll see how it ends
She thought he was toxic
But she’s soon to understand
One must always follow
What their heart commands
(Verse 5)
Stria couldn’t believe he would own his mistakes
But he swore he got it and promised to change
She didn’t believe it and thought it was fake
He took in stride, which Stria thought was strange
(Verse 6)
Alayda watched from the sidelines and was grinning
And Katie (that’s me, I’m Katie) took notes furiously
Alayda said, “Katie it looks like we’re winning”
But I ship him with Sophie, so I said “who’s we??”
(Chorus)
An unlikely couple
Hatred to something
He was nothing to her
Now he’s surely more than nothing
She thought he was toxic
But soon she’ll understand
One must always follow
What their heart commands
(Verse 7)
Keefe day by day proved he meant what he said
And Stria rethought the whole rant that she’d made
She said “fine okay, I guess we can be friends”
He wanted more than that and asked for a date
(Verse 8)
She said before they could be something more
She had a condition, he must be okay
With sharing her eternally with four times four
Just like the amount of letters in his name
(Chorus)
And he said yes!
An unlikely couple
Hatred to love
Just him and sixteen
Now that’s more than enough
She thought he was toxic
Now she understands
One must always follow
What their heart commands
An unlikely couple
Hatred to love
She was nothing to him
Now she’s more than enough
She thought he was toxic
Now she understands
One must always follow
What their heart commands
One must always follow
What their heart commands
*ridiculous electric guitar solo by Katie’s brother*
If you made it this far, congrats! Check out my serious kotlc songs by looking up #kotlc songs or #original music on my blog!! Or not. You could always just judge my musical abilities forever and ever by this recording of me making Stria angry, which, okay, valid.
@the-way-astray @alaydabug2 @thishumanformislimiting @worldsunlikemyown @permanently-stressed @lisalovesapplesauce @jeannefostergoriot
#kotlc#keeper of the lost cities#kotlc songs#<-what a horrible use of that tag on my blog#original music#<-I can’t believe this is gonna be in that tag now either#strieefe
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David Shaw Headcanons
Some David headcanons I wanted to share alongside a few minor Angel ones, enjoy!
Davids dad used to bake Davids favorite cake for his birthdays when he was still alive. After his death it's hard for David to enjoy his birthday because it reminds him of the loss. When David and Angel got together, Angel despite being god awful at baking or cooking in general, still went out of their way to make him a cake for his birthday. The cake was borderline inedible but the whole gesture was something that David really appreciated.
Definitely a personal headcanon of how he looks like but I see him with more longer thicker hair, his dad had similar hair while his mom in the photos and videos he has of her has shorter hair. If he were to ever cut his hair shorter, I'm sure he'd definitely look more like his mom.
I can see him having a personal journal to write in, especially around the time his dad passed. He wasn't able to grieve properly due to his position as being the new alpha so he turned to writing his thoughts down instead. It was easier with a private journal and in a way it helped ground him enough to get through the week. David doesn't write much in his journals nowadays due to finally being able to properly grieve and Angel being a major part of his support system. But, he does occasionally look back on those journal entries to see how far he's truly come.
David is very much a well groomed person and takes care of his hair very well. Conditions that motherfucker almost every day and shampoos it every 3-4 days thoroughly. It's just part of his routine that he sticks to.
Really doesn't like energy drinks in general but absolutely is a coffee addict.
Has matching Minecraft skins on Minecraft with Angel whenever they play together.
Angel managed to convince him to watch a few Aphmau videos with them specifically the Pheonix Drop series and he lowkey was invested in Garroth as a character. Angel teased David that he was like Aaron in the series and now David doesn't like him anymore. (He doesn't hate Aaron, it's definitely more lighthearted than he lets on but he'd rather let Asher cook dinner any day than admit that to Angel.)
David is strangely really good at tic tac toe, he always manages to win and believe me when I say his friends have TRIED to beat him at the game with little to no success.
Makes it a point to try and cook with Angel at least once per week, quality time is apart of his love language and he treasures every moment with them.
David usually keeps his hair up in a ponytail but has let Angel stylize it before when they're just relaxing.
During the Quinn situation, David was definitely on high alert with the safety of his mate. He knows Quinn isn't stupid enough to try but knowing Angel could've gotten hurt like Darlin's friend who got attacked just by associating with them shook him to his core. I don't think he'd ever forgive himself if something did happen to them and he wasn't there to protect them.
Davids dad was a really good cook and made a lot of his own recipes, he always wrote them down on note cards which David has saved and kept safe in a tiny wooden box in the kitchen. When David misses his dad, especially around the anniversary of his death, he gets out one of those recipes and cooks it. It's nostalgic for him and eases some of that grief that still lingers.
David really hates the cold so when winter hits, Angel is his personal space heater throughout those frosty months. Though, he does like spooking Angel a lil bit with how cold his hands can get. He put his hands under their shirt one time when his hands were particularly cold and they nearly jumped.
Angel gives David playful love bites and David loves recieving and giving them.
David has trained his body to wake up 10 minutes before his actual alarm goes off in the morning so he can cuddle Angel longer.
Dark chocolate is his favorite, it's not too sweet and has more health benefits compared to regular chocolate.
#redacted audio#redacted fandom#redactedverse#redacted audios#redacted david#redacted angel#redacted davey/angel#simplywrites#simplytalks#If anyone knows who Aphmau is I salute to you as a fellow Minecraft rper enjoyer
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The TWST cast from the original Fyuuture Kid timeline is so Cleopatra by Lumineers coded. They just get their (pregnant) joyfriend ripped away from them, cursed, and then sent back to earth, where they can't follow all in one day. That's gotta be a fucking nightmare. They just lose everything at the same time. Bro. Imagine Jamil or Azul, they had to fight for everything and just when they finally, FINALLY, think they have something that will never leave, it's taken away. Imagine malleus or cater or silver; they've already lost so much, silver just lost his dad and now, when he's going to make his own family, they're taken from him too.
TW FOR SUICIDE.
You wrote one time that of Yuu ever died, Floyd would be quick to follow, so. Did Jade and Azul have to put him on suicide watch? My mind is reeling there were NO WINNERS in this timeline Goddamn.
Sorry for the angst dude I just think about this AU a lot
i am so sorry for making you all live with this many thoughts and just waltzing on off to do fuck all
So there weren't any winners in the original timeline no, but the way things went down sort of prevented the type of outcome you are describing with Floyd due to the potential for hope, that most dangerous of falsehoods. In a way that sort of makes it worse though... so lets talk about what went down shall we?
(I'm going to keep this post to more general information, but I did write some specific ship thoughts I'll probably use for another post later on, I just need to think on some of them more...)
notes: they/them used for Yuu, this is part of my fyuuture kid au which can be found under the series section of my masterlist. This post will not contain discussions of suicidal ideation, but will contain major character death and descriptions of violence. If you are curious about what happened to Yuu and Fyuuture kid, look at this post here.
General Original Timeline Facts
To give a brief re-cap of what happens to Yuu, they were arrested by the Magical Marshall's office and sent back to their world, while pregnant, and cursed to forget everything that had happened to them in Twisted Wonderland. Something I didn't mention in that first post, mostly because I intended to imply it in the answer about Riddle's relationship with Yutu but ended up cutting, is that none of the characters actually know that this is what happened at first. They know that Yuu disappeared, but they don't know that the Marshalls were involved or that Yuu went back to their world, which causes a real sense of panic in all of them because holy shit their spouse and unborn child just went missing and they can't seem to get anyone to take this seriously. How the Marshalls went about hiding this information, and what the general public believed happened to Yuu depends on who their husband was, as did the fallout of their disappearance.
For anyone who might be a bit confused, the Magical Marshall's Office is an elite squad of police officers who investigate magical crime, and occasionally deal with overblots. They are the organization that Deuce wants to join one day, which does mean that the people who made the decision to see Yuu as a threat to public safety and send Yuu home were Deuce's own co-workers and friends.
Deuce is the first to suspect that the Marshall's might have had something to do with Yuu's disappearance, but he isn't able to really do much with that. He tries, but he is stonewalled and eventually fired- though by the time that happened monster attacks started getting really bad in the Queendom and Deuce had a whole other set of questions.
Speaking of those monster attacks, the instant Yuu is removed from Twisted Wonderland Grim overblots I have an idea as to why, but it isn't super set in stone. This "Chimera" begins hunting and stirring up monsters, inciting them to attack civilization while it focuses on trying to "wake up" the Phantoms of the Great 7. These phantoms want to re-join with their respective overblot boy, which is an easier task for some of them than others.
The first phantom to re-appear was the Thorn Fairy's. Malleus chose to seal himself and his phantom in an eternal sleep inside the Briar Valley capital after ordering Sebek and Silver to evacuate everyone who lived there, leaving his people truly leaderless and in shambles. He technically also ordered Lilia to go with them, but he refused. He wasn't able to abandon another Draconia to die alone. A lot of nocturnal fae died to the Phantom before Malleus's sacrifice, but because the problem was more or less contained to Briar Valley not all of the other nations saw the monster problem as a threat. They should have.
The second phantom to re-appear was The Queen of Hearts'. Riddle, having been approached by Deuce with his suspicions regarding Yuu's disappearance and outraged by what he saw as a clear violation of the law (if nothing else) was easy prey and re-assimilated into the monster. The phantom then began hunting down each of Riddle's previous dorm mates to corrupt them into card soldiers for its army, eventually fashioning four lieutenants that were a touch more sentient that the others out of Trey, Cater, Deuce, and Ace.
Certain members of the Al-Asim family saw that happen and quietly, without Kalim's knowledge, arrange to have Jamil killed. This doesn't prevent the Sorcerer of the Sands' phantom from reuniting with him, it just means the monster is puppeteering a corpse. And dragging around a second once it gets its hands on Kalim...
Obviously at this point something of a pattern has been established, meaning S.T.Y.X. is expected to do something. Idia does not actually overblot for a second time thank you very much, Phantom Ortho has a mind of his own and he promised to stay in the Underworld until it was Idy's time. His first order of business is to check in on Vil, Azul, and Leona to make sure they're ok. He manages to make contact with Vil, but the Coral Sea proves impossible to get a message through to and Leona is M.I.A. Literally, he and Ruggie have both disappeared while investigating monster attacks around the slums. Idia has a decision to make, and it's not one he really likes, but S.T.Y.X. has a better relationship with the Sunset Savannah than it does the Coral Sea, so it's off to the Elephant Graveyard while Vil agrees to stay behind on the Isle of Woe under observation for his own safety.
It's a decision Idia regrets later. He gets to Leona in time to help him fight and kill the King of Beasts's phantom, but it costs Leona and Ruggie their lives, and while he's there, the Sea Witch's phantom finds Azul and begins using his magic to drain the merfolk dry. Floyd manages to use his unique magic to distract Azul long enough to allow Jade to escape, who only flees because he thought his brother was behind him the whole time. The oceans become polluted with blot, forcing the surviving merfolk to the surface. Many go to NRC and take refuge in the Octavinelle dorm pocket dimension, resulting in the Mostro Lounge being closed to make more room. Somehow that feels more like a killing blow to Azul for Jade than what the phantom did.
Schools like NRC, RSA, and Nobel Bell become sort of centers for survivors due to the large amounts of mages, magical wards, and artifacts that such schools typically have made them safer than most towns. NRC specifically has seen a large influx of magicless people who run a lot of the things the ghosts used to and runs a lot of normal school classes in additional to the magic program, which shifts over time to be more focused on fighting due to the increased monster attacks.
Also Crewel is now Headmage. It would have been Trein but I don't think he needs the stress. I haven't decided if he is still alive or not, but Vargas and Sam are still kicking.
So to give a run down of where everyone stands in the original timeline in order: Malleus and his phantom are trapped in an eternal sleep, Lilia is dead, Silver and Sebek are alive (at least at first) and trying to help the fae refuges displaced by the Thorn Fairy's Phantom. All of Heartslabyul are overblot phantoms, and actively making the Queendom of Roses unlivable. Jamil was assassinated and the Sorcerer of the Sands's phantom went on to kill Kalim and most of his family. To be clear that wasn't because of Jamil's lingering emotions, but good luck explaining that to most people. Vil and Idia are overblot free, Vil because he is being detained on the Isle of Woe and Idia because of his promise with Phantom Ortho. Leona and Ruggie died fighting the King of Beast's phantom. Azul and Floyd are blot phantoms, while Jade is alive and tending bar at what remains of the lounge at NRC.
Now Epel, Rook, and Jack aren't named in that list. No one really knows what happened to them, but they are assumed dead (or at least Jack and Epel are.) Since this is my AU and I get to give out the information, I'll let you know that Rook is a phantom under control of the Fairest Queen's phantom, Jack is dead, and Epel is alive, but cut off from the rest of Twisted Wonderland by the monsters under the Fairest Queen's control. He's right teed off about that, hey Yutu go get him that ladder he's gonna give Rook a piece of his mind-
I do have some ship specific thoughts but I want to cook with them a bit more... but to maaaybe tease some of them?
Yutu and his friends had to fight the Heartslabyul boys multiple times. Yes this hurt their Yutus a lot, and is one of the main reasons Riddle! Yutu hates his dad so much.
Vil can hear the Fairest Queen talking to him and it's not great for his mental stability. Neither is being cooped up in the Isle of Woe, his Yutu did meet him and remembers it being a terrifying experience.
Jade has a good relationship with Floyd! Yutu, Jade and Floyd are their own people but losing Floyd killed a part of him that was slightly healed by getting his nephew back. He likes to tease Azul! Yutu and told him a great deal about his dad. As for his own Yutu... their relationship is a tad strained by how protective Jade is over his son. He is terrified of losing him and what is left of his pearl...
Not all Yutus are in the same dorm as their father. I haven't decided on where all of them are yet, but I did mention once in my replies that Azul! Yutu is in Savanaclaw. I did not mention that he did intend to transfer but couldn't when he accidentally became the Dorm Leader because he got tired of being mouthed off to and knocked someone out. I have an ask about Cater! Yutu I'm working on but I'll add him here as having been put into Octavinelle, and I think I want to put Kalim! Yutu into Pomefiore but I need to cook more...
#<3 asks#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#future kid au#tw character death#ngl i cried when i was writing about jade#so no one yell at me i am already yelling at myself ok
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scribbles - m.r x reader - ch2
(this is a series, all ch's linked here !)
summary - dash&lily!au, mattheo and reader communicate through a book. this chapter is just a series of dares, but dare I say it gets more interesting in the next ch?
word count - above 2k
a/n - so not much romance-romance, just harmless fun but next ch is much better, this is more of an filler to getting to know each other anonymously.
(it also switches between pov's, sorry if that's a bit confusing)
He quickly scribbled in his response, his hand steady as he wrote. “Alright, mystery girl, you asked for it.”
“Alright, here’s your dare,” Mattheo wrote, his handwriting slightly rushed but legible. “Go to the Restricted Section in the library and find the dustiest, most forgotten book you can—none of the usual boring stuff. Pick something completely bizarre, something that makes you question why it even exists.”
He paused, grinning as he added the twist. “Then, take it to the librarian, act as if you have a genuine doubt or something. But here’s the catch: you’ve got to keep a straight face. Bonus points if it’s hilariously awkward.”
Mattheo leaned back for a second, re-reading his words, then added the final touch. “You’ve got 48 hours. Make it count, Mystery Girl. Leave the journal back here when you’re done.”
Satisfied, he tucked the journal back into its hiding spot behind the rock, dusted his hands, and stood up. With a smirk, he walked away, imagining how this dare would play out.
* 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳'𝘴 𝘱𝘰𝘷 *
I picked up the journal from the alcove a bit later, brushing off a stray leaf that had found its way onto the cover. Flipping it open, I read his words, the dare scrawled out in that slightly messy handwriting. Restricted Section? Madame Pince? Awkwardness?
I couldn’t help but grin. This was going to be interesting, wasn’t it? A challenge like this, especially one with the potential to irritate the ever-watchful librarian, had just enough chaos to keep things exciting.
What could go wrong? Actually, a lot. But then again, that’s what made it fun.
This definitely wasn’t like me. I wasn’t exactly one for making scenes—especially not in the library of all places. If anything, I prided myself on being invisible, blending into the background like one of the dusty old portraits on the walls. But Mystery Guy? He seemed… intriguing.
Maybe this little journal game would be worth stepping out of the shadows for. After all, what’s the worst that could happen? A stern glare from Madame Pince? A bit of awkwardness?
I walked into the library, the familiar musty smell of parchment and ink wrapping around me like an old cloak. Madame Pince was already glaring at me from behind her desk, her hawk-like eyes tracking my every move. Classic.
It wasn’t the first time I’d slipped into the Restricted Section with a forged note, and it probably wouldn’t be the last. Snape’s horrendous cursive was oddly convenient for these little escapades—Madame Pince never bothered double-checking. I tugged the crumpled scrap of parchment from my pocket, gave her my most innocent smile, and held it out.
Her eyes narrowed as she took it, scanning it briefly before huffing and waving me through.
“Key, please?” I asked, doing my best to keep my voice steady.
Madame Pince glared at me, her lips pursing so tight they practically disappeared. With a dramatic sigh, she reached under her desk, pulled out the rusted key, and dropped it into my hand like it personally offended her.
“Don’t cause trouble,” she hissed, her voice barely above a whisper but sharp enough to cut.
I nodded quickly, pocketing the key. “Of course not,” I muttered, already heading toward the towering gate of the Restricted Section. The lock clicked open with a low groan, and the gate swung inward. The air was colder here, quieter, like the books themselves were holding their breath. Perfect. Now to find the weirdest, dustiest book in the place.
Quite the collection, really. Titles jumped out at me like they were daring me to take them: "The Definitive Encyclopedia of Goblin Gossip," "How to Train Your Basilisk (and Why You Shouldn’t)." A quiet laugh slipped out before I could help it.
Then my eyes landed on "Scandalous Secrets of the Magical Aristocracy." I pulled it off the shelf and flipped it open, reading the first line:
"They say the walls of Malfoy Manor have ears, and this book has recorded everything." God. Damn. That was a little too on the nose to be comfortable.
Finally, I spotted it. The jackpot. A slim, leather-bound book with faded gold lettering: "Love Spells and Lust Charms: A Practical Guide." Dust practically puffed off it when I picked it up, and the embossed cover felt… oddly warm. Perfect.
Now came the hard part—Madame Pince. I clutched the book like it was perfectly normal to be walking out of the Restricted Section with a borderline scandalous manual.
I walked up to Madame Pince’s desk, the book held tightly against me like a shield. Her hawk-like gaze zeroed in on me the moment I was within range.
“Can I help you?” she asked, her tone clipped and suspicious.
I cleared my throat, trying not to let my voice shake. “Uh, yeah. So, um, I found this book, and I was wondering… uh…” My brain short-circuited for a second as I glanced down at the title again.
Pince’s eyebrow rose, and I swore she leaned in closer.
“...would you say the spells in here are… safe? You know, like… for beginners?”
Her lips pursed into a thin line. “Excuse me?”
“I mean—” I fumbled, my face growing hotter by the second. “Like, do they, um, work as advertised? Hypothetically?”
Madame Pince’s expression darkened, and I could practically hear the sound of my life expectancy shortening.
“This is a library, not a… relationship advice bureau!” she hissed, snatching the book from my hands. “And hypothetically, young lady, if you’re looking for such spells, you should perhaps reconsider your priorities!”
I stood there frozen, somewhere between mortified and amazed at how absolutely horrible this dare was.
“Go on, shoo!” she snapped, waving me away like a particularly irritating fly.
I turned and walked off quickly, my heart pounding as I made a beeline for the alcove. Mystery Guy was going to pay for this one.
I couldn’t help but laugh as I slipped out of Madam Pince’s line of sight. She was probably going to hate me for a while now, wasn’t she?
I quickly pulled out the journal and jotted down my response for Mystery Guy.
"God, you've got good dares, goddammit."
“I chose, Love Spells and Lust Charms. And no, she didn’t actually answer my question. Still worth it tho.”
“Anyways, dare complete. And I totally deserve to embarrass you just as much for your next dare, just you wait.”
I slipped the journal back into the same spot, behind the rock. I walked away, already thinking about how I was going to keep this game interesting for both of us.
*𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘰’𝘴 𝘱𝘰𝘷 *
Mattheo sat down in the alcove, the journal resting on his lap as he stared at her reply. A grin tugged at his lips as he read through it again. "God, you've got good dares, goddammit."
He could already picture her face when she had to ask Madame Pince about that book. He chuckled to himself.
“I chose, Love Spells and Lust Charms. And no, she didn’t actually answer my question. Still worth it tho.” He was impressed. He didn’t think she’d go through with it, but she did.
“Anyways, dare completely. And I totally deserve to embarrass you just as much for your next dare, just you wait.”
Mattheo smirked. Challenge accepted.
He took a deep breath, grabbed the pen, and quickly wrote back:
"Not bad. I'm impressed you went through with it. I bet Madame Pince won’t be able to look at you the same for a while."
“But alright, your turn now. I’ll make sure your next dare is one you won’t forget. You’ve got 48 hours. Don’t disappoint me, Mystery Girl.”
With that, he closed the journal and slid it back into place behind the rock. He couldn’t help but feel a little more invested in this whole back-and-forth now. It was like they were building up to something. He just wasn’t sure what yet.
He stood up, brushing off his jeans, and left the alcove, a small smile still on his face.
* 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳'𝘴 𝘱𝘰𝘷 *
I couldn't help but grin as I wrote the dare, imagining his face when he realized what I was making him do.
"Alright, here’s your dare: After your next Potions class, walk up to Snape when he's packing up and ask him, real casual, 'Professor Snape, I was going through the Restricted Section, and I came across a book called "Love Spells and Lust Charms". I couldn’t help but notice your name was mentioned in it... Why exactly is that? Was there a charm you might’ve been experimenting with?'
I smirked as I wrote the last part.
"You’ve gotta ask it with the most innocent tone, like you're just really curious, no awkwardness. Bonus points if you don't immediately get sent to detention. You’ve got 48 hours. Good luck, mystery boy."
I snapped the journal shut, leaning back with a satisfied smirk. This one was going to be interesting.
*𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘰’𝘴 𝘱𝘰𝘷 *
Mattheo walked out of Potions, grinning to himself. This dare was absolutely gold. He made his way over to Snape's desk, trying to act as casual as possible—though the slight bounce in his step betrayed his excitement.
Snape was hunched over a pile of papers, his greasy hair falling over his face as he scribbled furiously, like he was trying to find the most depressing way to end a sentence. Mattheo lingered there for a second, making sure the coast was clear, before he cleared his throat.
"Professor Snape?" Mattheo said, his voice smooth but just a little too innocent.
Snape didn’t look up at first, too busy scribbling on his endless stream of scrolls. "What is it now, Mr. Riddle?" Snape’s voice was low and sharp, like he had a permanent migraine.
Mattheo leaned in a little closer, trying to sound concerned. “Well, sir, I was in the library the other day—just browsing, you know? And I came across a really interesting book…”
Snape’s quill paused mid-sentence, and he finally looked up, his expression already annoyed. “What book?”
“Love Spells and Lust Charms: A Practical Guide,” Mattheo said with an air of faux-innocence. “And, funny thing, your name is in there. A lot. In, like, the previous borrower's list. I’m just curious, Professor. What exactly does your name have to do with, uh... Lust Charms?”
Snape’s eyes narrowed so much, they could’ve been a single slit. “That’s none of your business, Mr. Riddle,” he snapped, voice as cold as a boggart’s heart.
Mattheo tilted his head, squinting in exaggerated thought. “But, sir, it’s just so strange. I mean, your name pops up in this book—like, a lot. What exactly were you researching? Any chance you were trying to find the secret to romance?”
The room felt suddenly smaller as Snape stood up, his robes billowing dramatically around him. His hands balled into fists, and for a second, Mattheo thought Snape might pull out his wand and turn him into a toad.
“Mr. Riddle,” Snape said slowly, his voice venomous, “you will regret this.”
Mattheo grinned wider, fully enjoying the moment. “Oh, come on, Professor. I’m just asking about academic interests. I mean, you are a Potions Master, after all. I assume you know a thing or two about mixing… ingredients?”
Snape’s glare could’ve melted stone. “Detention. Tomorrow night. My office. You’ll regret that, too.”
Mattheo raised his eyebrows. “Oh, I’ll be sure to bring some ingredients of my own,” he said, winking cheekily before turning on his heel and strolling out.
As he left, he could hear Snape muttering something under his breath, probably wishing he'd never set foot in Hogwarts. Mattheo chuckled to himself—mission accomplished, and honestly, Snape's glare had never looked so funny.
Well, the dare was complete, and now... it was time to face the music. Or, more accurately, the detention.
Lorenzo caught up to Mattheo just as he was walking out of the dungeons, practically buzzing from the chaos he’d just caused.
“You really did it, didn’t you?” Lorenzo said, eyes wide. “You actually went up to Snape and asked about that book? You’re insane, Mattheo.”
Mattheo just shrugged, grinning like he’d just won a prize. “What can I say? The dare didn’t say I couldn’t. Besides, I figured it’d be fun. Snape was all ready to hex me, but I’m fine. No biggie.”
Lorenzo scoffed. “No biggie? Dude, you just asked Snape about a book called Love Spells and Lust Charms. Are you actually trying to get yourself murdered?”
Mattheo’s grin didn’t fade. “It wasn’t that bad. He was mad, sure, but he didn’t actually kill me. I survived.”
“You survived? Are you serious?” Lorenzo said, throwing his hands up in disbelief. “You’re really out here living your best life with Snape glaring at you like he wants to turn you into a toad, huh?”
Mattheo shrugged again. “It’s whatever. I got detention with him tomorrow night, so we’ll see how that goes.”
Lorenzo froze, his face morphing into complete shock. “Wait. Detention? With Snape? What? Why? What did you say to him, Mattheo? Was it because of your little journal?”
Mattheo chuckled, brushing it off like it was no big deal. “Yeah, I might’ve asked him why his name was in 'Lust Charms' borrowing list. You know, just trying to get some clarity. Snape looked ready to throw me into the dungeons, but I made it out alive.”
Lorenzo stared at him like he had two heads. “So, let me get this straight. You’ve got detention with Snape—Snape—because you wanted to know why he’s in a book about lust charms? What is wrong with you?”
Mattheo gave him a cheeky grin. “Honestly? It seemed like a good idea at the time. Plus, you know, it makes the whole dare more interesting.”
Lorenzo rolled his eyes so hard it almost seemed like he was going to pass out. “Mattheo, you are a complete idiot. You know that, right?”
Mattheo smirked. “It’s fine. I’ve got it under control. I’ve survived worse.”
Lorenzo raised an eyebrow. “Worse? Are you telling me you’ve actually survived a Snape detention, Mattheo? You’re either really stupid or really brave. Maybe both.”
Mattheo laughed. “It’s a mix of both, honestly. I’m just here for the chaos. It’s way more fun that way.”
Lorenzo snorted. “Sure, chaos. But seriously, what’s next? You gonna serenade McGonagall with Wizards in the Moonlight?”
Mattheo raised a brow, then smirked. “Hey, don’t give me ideas. But I’ve got to admit, it’s kind of fun messing with people. Especially when they least expect it.”
Lorenzo shook his head. “Yeah, yeah, whatever, Romeo. You’re definitely falling for her.”
Mattheo did a double take, looking at him like he was crazy. “Who?”
Lorenzo crossed his arms and gave him a knowing look. “Oh, come on. You can’t tell me you’re not into her. You’re doing all this for a girl you don’t even know.”
Mattheo scoffed. “No way. I’m just here for the dares, man. I’m not a puppy in love.”
Lorenzo smirked. “Right, right. Sure. You’re just playing it cool. But honestly? It’s kinda cute watching you try so hard.”
Mattheo rolled his eyes but couldn’t suppress the small grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Shut up, you’re annoying.”
Lorenzo grinned. “Uh-huh, I’ve got a feeling this mystery girl’s got you wrapped around her finger.”
Mattheo just winked and walked off, saying over his shoulder, “We’ll see, Enzo. We’ll see.”
omg yay! ch2! it was sm fun writing this, makes me wanna shift faster. and sm ppl liked ch 1? makes me so so so happy <3 the taglist is also open so comment if you'd like to be on it! ty ! - rey
#mattheo riddle#slytherin boys#benjamin wadsworth#marcus lopez arguello#slytherin#harry potter#mattheo riddle x reader#mattheo riddle smut#theodore nott#theo nott#mattheo riddle x you#lorenzo berkshire x reader#mattheo riddle fluff#mattheo x you#shifting blog#reyy#scribbles ;#mattheo riddle imagine#mattheo x reader#rey's fics !
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Half-Lore #3: 66 HL Facts!
Make your 'counting to three' jokes in the tags please. Back with another instalment, this is one I've been looking forward to! 66 random facts spanning the entire Half-Life franchise (bc I couldn't fit 100 in one post due to numbered list character limits...) If you have any suggestions for other instalments of Half-Lore, please let me know.
Have a peep under the cut, and enjoy!
Gordon can speak, as confirmed in a series of letters that were included in HL1's box. They mention that L.M and him had a telephone call prior to Gordon's arrival.
Speaking of L.M, he was the original administrator for Black Mesa. L.M was the G-Man, though his full name is never revealed.
Barney and Breen were both meant to appear in Half-Life: Alyx, but were cut due to a hard reset on the game's development.
Gordon is apparently very clumsy. Eli jokes about it in a series of cut voicelines.
Prior to his appointment at Black Mesa, Gordon was stationed at the University of Innsbruck in Austria.
Russell's complaint about being told to apply a year later after his interview at Black Mesa is a real-life hiring process that Valve uses.
Marc Laidlaw mentioned that the baby photo in Gordon's locker is probably a nephew, making Gordon an uncle!
Bullsquids have a 'hungry' mode. If they find a dead headcrab, and they're in hungry mode, they'll eat it. Otherwise, they'll play a sniffing animation and walk away.
In HL2, you can bonk NPCs on the head during a cutscene to make them teleport. This is because the game thinks that the character is trapped by a physics prop, and will teleport them to the next segment in the cutscene to free them.
On Kleiner's clipboard during his first cutscene, what he's saying about the HEV suit is actually written on the paper word-for-word.
Barney has a girlfriend called Lauren, and a picture of her in his locker. The woman in question was a real-life girlfriend of one of the devs.
In one of the OP4 skyboxes, a dev has written the note "Hack hack hack all day long. Hack hack hack while I sing this song."
The mysterious artefact Alyx brings back to Black Mesa East is the head of a Cremator, which was a cut enemy.
HL2 was originally meant to take place in New York.
Headcrabs don't turn Gordon into a zombie because he apparently never lets them get close to his face.
Colette gets a kick out of violence.
Gordon was employee of the month when the Resonance Cascade happened.
A special rebel outpost along Route Kanal will start playing ambient windchimes if you hang around long enough.
Breen was meant to wear a pair of glasses, but Marc Laidlaw went against it, citing that they made Breen look 'vaguely homosexual'.
Russell was originally meant to be Laszlo, the finest mind of his generation. His computer's password is actually 'Laszlo' too!
There are props clipping through Russell's ceiling intentionally- objects will phase through each other during portal storms, the likes of which ravage City 17.
The Citadel wasn't built on Earth, per se- it was teleported in chunk by chunk like the world's biggest IKEA assembly.
G-Man cannot understand the Vort's language, and the Vorts use by-words when discussing him and the Advisors to avoid detection.
Combine Advisors cannot breathe Earth's atmosphere, hence the breathing apparatus they wear.
There was meant to be a fourth day of HL2's plot, but it was shortened to three. Players would have fought through a museum.
Eli lost his leg to a bullsquid when he was helping Kleiner into City 17.
Kleiner and Barney were meant to die in a bus crash in HL2's opening sequence. Marc Laidlaw wrote a short story discussing their deaths in rather graphic detail.
In Decay, there was a cut sequence where players witnessed Gordon getting killed if they didn't scare away the soldiers in time.
Despite 20 years having passed in reality, only around two weeks have passed for Gordon due to being in stasis.
For HLA, developers scanned in a $10,000 Nordstrom suit to use for G-Man's textures.
Level designer David Casali, who has worked on every single mainline HL game, was too tall for a lot of the levels in HLA's Vault sequence. This lead to a lot of upside-down sections being cut for accessibility.
G-Man was meant to be an unwilling prisoner in the Vault, as revealed in a storyboard in The Final Hours.
The Nihilanth is inspired by Gabe Newell's fears of fatherhood, as he'd just had his son at the time.
Nothing is native to Xen. Every alien animal present on Xen is running away from The Combine's invasion of their homeworlds.
During Opposing Force, players can find a gear and a valve inside of a cardboard box- a very clear nod to Gearbox and Valve!
Barney's model changes subtly from HL2 to Episode 1- he's shown more dishevelled, with his hair unkempt and a series of cuts on his cheeks.
G-Man's face is hidden in the Xenian crystal at Black Mesa East.
Alyx was found by the G-Man, sitting beside her dead mother and clutching her mother's wedding ring.
Child labour was meant to appear, with models and animations of the children working in Cremator factories made. This, understandably, were cut, and the lack of children explained away with the suppression field.
G-Man's crow friend is nicknamed 'Crowley'.
During the tactical map section of Surface Tension, you don't have to use the drone strike to destroy the doors leading to the next level- you can actually break it with a fully-charged Tau Cannon shot.
Typing 'haiku' in the game's console will generate a random haiku for you.
Imprisoning the G-Man in HLA was referred to as putting 'God in a Box' by developers.
HL2 on PC and HL2 on Xbox 360 sound wildly different! Due to advanced sound chips, developers were able to push the audio of HL2 to be more immersive and sound more realistic than on PC.
Grigori's shotgun is called Annabelle.
A model of Eli naked exists. This was meant to be used in the section we see him in the Combine pods.
An illustration of G-Man holding a gun to his head can be found on the back of a sign in HLA.
Similarly, in the Index HLA home environment, his eyes are used as part of an advertisement for 'vision enhancement'.
You can find a minifigure of the Scout in HLA.
The textures for some of HLA's cans actually use a recoloured metal effect from HL1's orange poster.
Grigori has cut crosses into the backs of his hands.
Inside G-Man's briefcase is pencils, ID, paper, and a gun.
The shadowy woman in HLA is called Hahn/The Contractor, and according to Erik Wolpaw, they 'have plans' for her.
A cut enemy called Mr. Friendly was meant to literally SA the player and knock Gordon's glasses off, blurring the screen. Apparently, the idea was to play on a gamer's subconscious (or conscious...) homophobia and make them freak out. This enemy was actually designed by a teenager, and was predictably scrapped.
Early advertisements for HL1 featured babies and children with lambdas replacing their eyes.
HL1 is intended to be an allegory for fighting your own inner hopelessness.
Valve's offices have a wall built to resemble the moving walls of the Citadel.
G-Man has had a total of 11 different models throughout HL's history.
Breaking the army crates in the Dreamcast port of HL1 will reveal copies of Sonic Adventure inside.
Gordon is from Seattle, Washington.
HL2 was delayed a lot during its development. At the time, many swore never to buy from Valve again due to their broken promises.
HL2's E3 demonstrations were staged.
Colette was employed by G-Man, but Gina died.
During a Reddit AMA, a dev responded that we shouldn't keep making Gordon feel bad about his outdated hairstyle choices, when asked about where his ponytail went.
A metrocop's hideaway can be found in the level after the zoo in HLA. Due to the amount of conspiracy theory paraphanelia, the room is theorised to be Barney's.
The act of covering your mouth to stop the fumes of Xenian flora from affecting you in HLA was implemented after playtesters instictively covered their mouths when sprayed.
Thanks for reading to the bottom! Here's some top notch BREENWAVE for you.
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⋆˚♱ଘ Phantom Pain ଓ♱˚⋆
When I wrote the first fic of my Yandere Church AU, I never expected it to expand into a whole series. Now it’s time for Cartaphilus! Dainsleif x Yandere! Demon! Reader………and yes, Dain is the darling in this fic ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ̀ˋ
I hope y’all enjoy their twisted story and the cameos to my previous fics!! Special thanks to my beta-reader @diodellet, @brynn-lear who helped me with Dain’s characterization, and all of my mutuals who listened to my brainrot~
Tw:: YANDERE, psychological trauma, blood, graphic violence, death, stalking, dubcon, noncon, mention of nsfw, MDNI, please take note of all of these warnings
Notes:: Female reader, FICTIONAL depictions of religion, inspired by Cartaphilus from The Ancient Magus’ Bride, I’m sorry Dain (*´꒳`*)
♡ 7.3k words under the cut ♡
♡ Among God’s creations, His favorite is granted a special fate. Though all lives end in death, only humanity is blessed with salvation and afterlife. Those who live righteously may thus ascend to Heaven, whereas sinners are condemned to eternal suffering in Hell. There is, however, one exception—a fragment of humanity whose sins may never be forgiven.
♡ Legends speak of Khaenri’ah, the nation of sinners. Once the pride of humankind, its citizens challenged God through their creations in alchemy and technology—and the entire nation was subsequently destroyed in a sea of flames. In the wake of the Cataclysm, pollen from the Tree of Life rained down upon the survivors, afflicting them with their final punishment, immortality.
♡ Since then, Khaenri’ahns have roamed the mortal plane in a perpetual state of living. Denied a place in Heaven and Hell, they are cursed to live forever no matter what harm befalls their body and psyche. Due to their wicked reputation, they must also live in fear of their once-fellow humans, lest they face persecution. For this reason, eternity differs among Khaenri’ahns.
♡ After the Cataclysm, the survivors scattered across Teyvat. Many established secret communities to preserve their culture and find solace in companionship. Others settled in foreign nations, periodically assuming new identities to evade suspicion. And a few became travelers, moving from place to place with no home to call their own.
♡ One such traveler is Dainsleif. After failing to prevent the destruction of his nation, he began an endless journey around Teyvat. His initial goal was to protect his fellow survivors and seek a cure for their curse. But as Khaenri’ah faded from memory, so did its people. Many succumbed to pain, madness, violence—and despite his best efforts, Dainsleif was unable to save any of them. In the perpetual meantime of a cruel eternity, all he could do was travel onwards, clinging to a thread of hope.
♡ That all changes when he wanders into the ruins of an ancient temple, 300 years after the Cataclysm. Had he known it was a place of worship, Dainsleif would have camped outside. But the structure is abandoned, inconspicuous, a perfect shelter against the ongoing storm. So he goes inside, lighting the way with his Khaenri’ahn sorcery. And only when he meets you does he realize he’d set foot in unholy ground.
♡ A pattern glows on the floor—a summoning circle he’d unknowingly stepped into, concealed with splatters of dried blood. From it, a winged figure emerges in a burst of light and slams him against the cracked tiles. Dizzily, he registers a strong hand pressing down on his neck, an aura of overwhelming divinity, a brilliant glare that strikes fear into his very soul.
˖⋆‧˚✦
“Ah, let’s see. Just when I thought this place had succumbed to the elements, who has the insolence to summon me?”
In your divine presence, Dainsleif can only look up and take in your inhuman features. Sharp talons. Four wings with silvery black-and-gray feathers, resembling an eagle’s plumage. A single horn jutting from the left side of your head. Eyes as bright as miniature suns.
A demon. How in the world did he summon a demon?
He glances at the sigil etched on the floor. From what he knows of these rituals, they are only successful if specific instructions are followed and the demon’s true name is uttered. Was it because he used Khaenri’ahn sorcery within the summoning circle?
He meets your gaze. “I never intended—”
Your eyes widen. “Oh?”
Still gripping his neck, you lift him up and brush the loose strands of hair away from his face. The action uncovers his eyes, bright blue with pupils shaped like four-pointed stars.
“A Khaenri’ahn?”
At this point, Dainsleif doesn’t know what to do. He struggles in your grasp, only to stop when your talons dig into his skin. Your gaze remains locked onto his.
Slowly, your lips curve into a fanged smile.
“And such a pretty one at that.”
˖⋆‧˚✦
♡ Somehow, Dainsleif’s curse has saved him from your wrath. Still, he remains vigilant as you put him down and demand to hear his life story—why, when you have already glimpsed his soul? Reluctantly, he tells you everything from his previous life to the circumstances that brought him to your temple. Once he is finished, you allow him to stay in your temple until the storm ends.
♡ As you move, he notices a trio of jagged scars on your body—one on each shoulder, another one between your first pair of wings. He makes no mention of it, however, and instead asks for your identity. In response to that, you give him an enigmatic smile, whisper your true name, and promptly disappear. The only proof of your encounter is the dark bruise around Dainsleif’s neck.
♡ He doesn’t sleep well. At the crack of dawn, he gets up and does a quick exploration of the temple ruins. From the looks of it, it could be thousands of years old. There are sculpted images of suns, beasts, and paradises. The bloodstained floor implies a violent end for the previous intruders—or was it from your official summoning rituals? At any rate, one thing is clear: You are a powerful demon, one who was previously worshiped as a false god.
♡ He leaves after sunrise, relieved to have survived the ordeal…only for your paths to cross a few days later. And the week after that. Again and again. Most of the time, you appear out of nowhere, invisible to everyone except for Dainsleif. Other times, your presence manifests in a stray feather, inhuman shadows, the persistent feeling that he is being watched.
˖⋆‧˚✦
“Oh, hello, Dain. Did you enjoy your drink?”
“...What have you done?”
In the dark alley, your bloody visage is a terrifying sight. A human is passed out at your feet, their arm covered in deep scratches and blackened veins.
Dainsleif takes a step back. That person…isn’t that the drunkard who tried to start a fight with him at the tavern?
A sinister smile appears on your face. “Don’t worry, I just cast a little curse on them.”
˖⋆‧˚✦
♡ He doesn’t know what to make of his situation. In Khaenri’ah, demons were perceived as wicked creatures that lead humanity down the path of sin. You have yet to harm him, unless your plan is to lull him into a false sense of security first. It would certainly explain your frequent visits, your honeyed words, your cheerful demeanor around him.
♡ During your encounters, he asks you questions. As it turns out, it is difficult to find information on you. Humans usually refer to a specific demon by their title, so your true name is only useful when he is addressing you. You don’t reveal much about yourself, apart from the fact that your current role in Hell is torturing the souls of deceased sinners.
♡ The answer is found in the Sumeru Akademiya. The House of Daena has a forbidden archive that includes grimoires, research on spiritual beings, as well as related literature. It doesn’t take long for him to find the hidden room. As he examines the bookshelves, he notices a few written records of Khaenri’ah, all of which depict his people in a negative light.
♡ He begins with a book about the celestial hierarchy. According to the writer, there are nine ranks of angels and only the Second Order, the Cherubim, have two pairs of eagle wings. They also have four heads—human, lion, ox, eagle…and in the accompanying illustration, the animal heads are located in the exact same place as your scars.
♡ Next is the grimoire of Il Dottore. He flips through the section dedicated to demons, skimming the notes and sigils. There is the Puppeteer, the Fair Lady, the Seeker of Forbidden Knowledge whom Dottore formed a pact with, and so on. Finally, he comes across a familiar sigil.
The Beheaded Cherub
-True name: ______
-Created in the ███ Era, fell from grace in the ██████ Era
-Basic status: 1 head (human), 1 set of fangs (lion), 1 horn (ox), 2 pairs of wings and 10 talons (harpy eagle)
-One of the most powerful demons in Hell by virtue of her previous rank and her prominence in human cognizance. She was once venerated as a false god by the Temple of Light.
-Prior to her descent, she was called “the Beast of Beatitude.” █████ says her divine punishment was the loss of her animal heads and the development of her beastly traits.
-A unique specimen. It is a pity that I could not obtain a sample of her. If we meet again, more insight can be gained into the mental faculties of a fallen Cherub.
♡ The next page has an illustration drawn from memory. It’s you. An ornate choker protects your neck, and your expression is one of wrath. There is also a report of Dottore’s encounter with you: He’d trapped the Puppeteer via exorcism and obtained one of his wings. Before he could do worse, you suddenly appeared and rescued Scaramouche. Dottore theorized that you left without attacking him because you saw the Cherub’s skeleton in his laboratory.
♡ That book leads Dainsleif down a rabbit hole of texts. Historical records of the Temple of Light. Literary depictions of “the Beheaded Cherub.” The sketchbook of an artist whose muses were demons. Reports of mysterious curses that manifested in pain and disfigurement. All of those sources point to you.
♡ Well, one thing is clear: He is doomed. It’s bad enough that he is dealing with a spiritual being, what more a powerful one. It is at this moment that he senses your presence behind him.
˖⋆‧˚✦
“Hello, Dain. I see you’ve figured out who I am.”
This time, he doesn’t look at you. “You never told me of your appetite for humans. Just how many were sacrificed for the Temple of Light’s offerings?”
Silence. Dainsleif continues to face the desk, closing the book in his hands.
Finally, you answer him. “That was not my command. The Temple of Light was founded by one of my earliest humans. Most of their beliefs and rituals were his own ideas, believe it or not.”
“And where is he now? Is he one of those sinners that you are so fond of torturing?”
He can imagine the sight behind him: You, in all of your demonic glory, casting large shadows against the walls. It is easy to reconcile your image with your sinister depictions.
“No,” you reply. “Once a human dies, all of their pacts are broken. As such, I have no reason to maintain ties with my former humans, especially the one who gave me such a wretched title. I let my coworkers handle their punishments.”
“And do you intend to make a deal with me as well?”
It is the only rational explanation he can think of.
“Wrong again. As a matter of fact, demons cannot form pacts with Khaenri’ahns, hence our indifference to your kind. What use is there for a soul that will never enter Hell?”
Dainsleif glances at the Lesser Key of Deshret. According to that source, most humans sought you out for the purpose of cursing their enemies.
He turns around. “Let me ask you this. Why are you following me?”
In the candlelight, your gaze has never looked more intense. “Is it not enough to say that I am mesmerized by you?”
The look he gives you is one of pure doubt.
You stand in front of him, touching his half-mask.
“I saw it all, Dainsleif,” you tell him, “when I looked into your soul. Your righteousness as the Twilight Sword, your perseverance after the Cataclysm, the hope you’ve clung to for all these centuries…I find it all so fascinating.”
He pulls away, glaring. “Is that all? A mere sense of curiosity?”
You smile at him. “Well, there is also your beauty. When I look at you, I can almost understand why humanity is the only creation which God deemed perfect.”
“Your flattery is as banal as it is unwarranted,” he scoffs. Stepping aside, he tidies up the desk and returns the books to their shelves. “I have never received the favor of God in the past. I don't see any reason I would need yours now or in the future, either.”
That is when you burst into laughter.
“Are you sure about that? Believe me, Dain, I have a lot to offer.”
As you push him against the wall, your expression becomes deathly serious.
“Two centuries ago,” you whisper, “a Khaenri’ahn was burned at the stake in Fontaine. She survived, of course, but was left with scars that will never heal. Another one encountered the wrong group of heretics and, to this day, his body is being used for their rituals.”
“I…” Dread pools up in his stomach. Does he know those individuals?
“And just last year, I heard the Church of Snezhnaya discovered a community of Khaenri’ahns and buried everyone alive. They’re all trapped underground, barely conscious. But even if they are freed, I doubt their bodies could still function after being deprived of nutrients for so long.”
Snezhnaya…are you talking about the one led by Pierro?
“Oh, and how could I forget?” You lean closer, your eyes reflecting Dainsleif’s agonized face. “Long before the Cataclysm, the Tree of Life disappeared from the human realm. Nobody, not even the angels, knows if it still exists. What more for the Khaenri’ahns who dedicated their eternity to searching for it?”
No.
If the Tree of Life is gone…
Does that mean there is truly no way to break the curse?
At this point, Dainsleif is trembling. “______, please tell me you are—mph!”
There is nothing gentle about your kiss. The back of his head hits the wall, and his mask falls to the floor. When he tries to resist, you capture his wrists in an iron grip.
It’s too much. Panicking, he resorts to his Khaenri’ahn sorcery but the galaxy-like aura is easily extinguished by your radiant light. You spread your wings, caging him in silvery feathers. Sharp fangs graze his bottom lip. He can’t do anything. He has to call for help—
Footsteps echo outside the room.
Just as quickly as the idea comes to mind, Dainsleif falls silent. What is he thinking? What if the scholar sees his cursed marks and realizes he is a Khaenri’ahn?
He stays still, praying the door remains locked. When the footsteps recede, he slumps against the wall.
His relief isn’t lost on you. Pulling away, you trace the blue veins and black marks on his face. A sinful smile plays on your lips.
“Do you understand, darling? No one, not even God, will save you.”
˖⋆‧˚✦
♡ After that revelation, Dainsleif continues to wander Teyvat. But he does so aimlessly, in your company. There are attempts to ward you off—religious objects, carefully-worded negotiations, a few hours spent inside a church—but all end in your amused reactions. It becomes routine for you to meet him every few days, providing Mora for his expenses and information on the places he visits.
♡ Your threats are no laughing matter. Thankfully, your violence never exceeds the severity of your first meeting. A strong grip on his hand. Talons playfully tracing his cursed marks. There is that time you swooped in, picked him up, and threatened to drop him off a cliff for trying to hide from you…then you later brushed it off as an empty threat.
♡ You’re also very affectionate, if such a word can be used to describe a demon. At one point, you begin leaving gifts for him—a new cloak, bejeweled hairpins, gems in the same shade of blue as his eyes. He tries to decline your gifts on the basis of practicality but you’re difficult to persuade. Moreover, he keeps finding your stray feathers on his clothes.
♡ Then there is the matter of your physical intimacy. By now, Dainsleif is used to your kisses and cuddles. The worst part is when your hands wander, when you defile his body after sundown, when his resistance crumbles into moans and tears. Those nights always end in his skin tainted with love bites, teeth marks, light scratches. Thankfully, you are unable to brand him with your sigil though that doesn’t stop you from longingly biting the back of his neck.
˖⋆‧˚✦
“______, that’s enough.”
“Hmm?” You press another kiss to his shoulder. “What did you say?”
He gives you a tired look. “I need to sleep.”
Just how unending is a demon’s stamina? It’s past midnight, and he doubts he will be able to leave the bed later. Perhaps he can ask the innkeeper for an extension.
“All right.” You pull the blankets over the two of you. Then you wrap your arms around him, keeping him close. “I’ll give you enough Mora for a week’s stay.”
He lies on his side, staring at the wall. “You don’t have to.”
It doesn’t take long for you to fall asleep. In a few minutes, your grip loosens and all Dainsleif can hear is his own breathing. Carefully, he turns over to face you.
…He never knows how to deal with you after your depravity has been exhausted. You’re always gentle as you clean him up and cuddle him in bed. When you sleep, you are no different from a corpse. No sounds, no movements, a neutral expression on your face.
Sighing, he shifts to a more comfortable position and closes his eyes.
When he wakes up, you are gone. Your side of the bed is still warm.
˖⋆‧˚✦
♡ A few years later, you decide to accompany Dainsleif in a different form. It all starts when he meets a fellow traveler in Mondstadt. They’d camped in the same forest and it was hard to ignore them, especially when they asked for his help. In the end, Dainsleif relented and they explored the forest together. He thought it would be safe since you never visit him on Sundays.
♡ He leaves the forest the next morning, after agreeing to lunch at a nearby tavern. But when he arrives, he finds his acquaintance being restrained and dragged into a medical vehicle. They are absolutely feral, but most alarming are the wounds on their face. Before they pass out, Dainsleif makes eye contact with them and notices an indigo glint in their eyes.
♡ A waiter fills him in on what happened: His acquaintance suddenly went mad, made a mess in the tavern, and ran straight into a mirror. When Dainsleif visits them at the clinic, they are visibly disoriented, claiming they didn’t know what came over them. They are escorted home a few days later, their face covered in scars, and Dainsleif never sees them again.
♡ The next day, he is strolling around Mondstadt City when a familiar pair of arms wraps around him. He muffles a gasp and turns around to give you a subtle glare—have you forgotten that he is in public?—only to stop when he sees you. Your demonic features are gone, and you are wearing traveler’s attire. Moreover, the surrounding humans can also see you.
˖⋆‧˚✦
“So, darling, do you like my human guise?”
The smile hasn’t left your face. It’s natural, considering the fact that Dainsleif is the one holding your hand and leading you to a secluded spot.
He lets go of you. “What are you planning now?”
You frown, placing the same hand over your chest. “I just wanted to spend more time with you. It’s no fun when you ignore me in the presence of humans.”
“______.” Your name leaves his lips in an exasperated voice. “How can I be sure that you won’t draw more attention to me?”
“Hey, have more faith in me,” you pout. In this form, you look significantly less imposing. “I’ve used this guise many times in the past. And isn’t it easier for you to interact with me this way, rather than pretend I’m not right in front of you?”
It’s not like any amount of persuasion would work on you.
He sighs. “Well, that’s as good a reason as any. Follow me, then.”
With that, the two of you return to the Market District. Dainsleif orders two chicken-mushroom skewers, not missing the way your eyes sparkle when he asks you if you want anything else.
A few feet away, a Mondstadter casts a flirtatious glance at him. But before they can approach him, you wrap your arm around his waist and scare them off with a fervent glare.
˖⋆‧˚✦
♡ Your human guise brings about more changes in Dainsleif’s journey, from couple promos to less strangers bothering him. At times, you break away from him to pet wild animals or purchase items for yourself. In those moments, he can’t help but watch you from a distance. Your face is capable of many expressions, he observes, some of which are actually quite nice to look at.
♡ You also continue to share valuable information with him. Once, Dainsleif picks up a book entitled Molten Moment. In the foreword, the author claimed that it was based on the life of a demon they’d formed a pact with. Not only did you confirm the truth to their story, you also stop at a certain chapter. In it, the protagonist spoke to a Power whose true name was of Khaenri’ahn origin.
♡ That is how Dainsleif learns there are angels who look like Khaenri’ahns. They have the same starry eyes and facial features as his people, though God stopped creating them a long time ago. Many of them became demons for opposing the Cataclysm out of personal attachment to Khaenri’ah. And those who remained as angels rarely use their human guise in the present.
♡ And when Dainsleif asks about the Power featured in the book, you give him a sad smile. Then you say something about a fight you lost, sparring sessions, and regular conversations. In the present, however, your encounters with Il Capitano are only a painful reminder that you are “no longer at full strength.”
♡ You also explain that unlike angels, demons typically aren’t close with one another. Though you do mention a pair of younger demons that you took in after their descent. There is a soft look in your eyes every time you talk about Scaramouche and Pantalone, and you like to buy souvenirs for them. In times like this, Dainsleif is reminded of the family he lost, the home he can never return to.
˖⋆‧˚✦
Bright. It’s too bright.
Dainsleif looks up. The sky is crimson, reflecting the sea of flames consuming his homeland.
Beneath him, the ground shatters into fragments. Screams of terror echo in the distance. All around him, he is greeted with chaos and destruction.
Where is Halfdan? What happened to the Royal Guards? How many more people are going to meet their end?
Suddenly, a ray of light shines upon his nation, so bright that it hurts his eyes. What are those particles raining down from the sky?
It burns.
He falls to his knees, coughing. Something is wrong. His body…he raises his right hand and watches in horror as the skin becomes corrupted.
Amidst his pain, all he can think of are the people he failed to protect.
-
“Dain? Dain, wake up!”
The holy light disappears.
Blearily, Dainsleif opens his eyes to darkness. A hand is on his shoulder, shaking him awake.
“What…?”
“Shh, it’s okay.” Your face comes into view. Gently, you pull him into a sitting position and rub soothing circles on his back. “It was just a dream.”
Another nightmare.
He glances at the window. The night sky is cloudy.
“Take deep breaths,” you continue. Your eyes, shining with a soft radiance, are the only source of light in the room. The tip of your wing brushes against his cheek—was he crying in his sleep?
For once, Dainsleif doesn’t back away from your touch. He leans against you, trying to steady himself, his gaze still fixed on the starless sky.
Hesitantly, you ask, “It was about the Cataclysm, wasn’t it? Do you want to talk about it?”
“...There is no need,” he mumbles. “My dreams are a rarity. I’m sorry if I woke you up.”
“Don’t apologize. It’s fine.”
He draws back, taking note of your worried expression. “Did I startle you?”
“Ah, not really,” you reply. Strands of hair are tangled around your horn, and you comb them out with your fingers. “....Though if I’m going to be honest, a part of me was curious.”
“What do you mean?” he asks.
Your wings twitch. “It’s nothing, really. It’s just…I’ve always wondered what a nightmare feels like, since I am incapable of dreaming.”
“I see…is that a common trait amongst demons?”
You shake your head. “No. In fact, it’s one of the first abilities a demon gains after their descent. But in the millennia since I’ve been cast out of Heaven, I haven’t had a single dream.”
His gaze drifts to your scars. “Does it have something to do with your divine punishment?”
As soon as you look away, he realizes it was a correct guess.
“Say, darling,” you mutter. “Can you stand the sight of your cursed marks?”
He looks at his right hand. “At one point, I stopped dwelling on it.”
“Well, at least those marks are easy to cover up.”
This time, Dainsleif is the one staring at you.
This isn’t his first time seeing cracks in your demeanor. He has noticed many over the years, from the occasional headache to your wistful gaze directed at eagles flying overhead. Once, you suddenly flinched and touched one of your scars, only to brush it off when he asked about it.
Even if you take pride in your demonic visage, it doesn’t erase the scars of your past.
“Do you believe your god to have punished you fairly?”
You meet his gaze, frowning. “What did you say?”
“Forgive me for being direct,” he tells you. “You do not pry into my secrets, so I never pried into yours…but if you would like to tell me, I will listen.”
For a few seconds, you just stare back at him. Are you glimpsing his soul again? From his end, all he can see is your gaze turning dim.
“My answer is no.”
Your expression turns bitter. Dainsleif lets you elaborate.
“When I was an angel,” you whisper, “I used all four of my heads. Seeing the world from every angle, speaking in different sounds, expressing multiple emotions at once…those abilities are what set the Cherubim apart from the rest of God’s creations.”
Your jewelry glitters on the nightstand. Earlier today, you’d worn an esclavage necklace with three cameo pendants. Each pendant bears the image of an animal—a lion, an ox, an eagle.
“So you can imagine how difficult it was to lose them,” you continue. You grip your upper arms, talons digging into your skin. “My beastly heads, all reduced to dust before my remaining eyes. And even then, our creator did not spare what was left of my body.”
A mirror hangs on the wall. It perfectly reflects Dainsleif’s cursed marks and your sorrowful countenance.
“This face was perfectly human until I grew fangs. My talons will always be in my line of sight. And don’t even get me started on the differences between halos and horns. It’s not…!”
Your voice cracks. At the same time, Dainsleif scoots closer to you.
In the dark, your expression looks tired. Resigned.
“So who cares if I looked down on humanity?” you mumble. “Why couldn’t I be forgiven? By now, I’ve lived over half of my life as a demon and yet…it still hurts.”
That ends your confession. You stare at your lap, wings lowered.
What is he supposed to say in this scenario?
From the beginning, Dainsleif knew it would be meaningless to believe in baseless depictions of demons. Still, it’s perplexing to see this side of you, to feel sympathy for the present source of his vexation and anxiety.
Yet in this moment, he finds himself reaching out to you. He copies your soothing gesture from earlier, placing his hand on the area between your wings.
You allow it, resting your head on his shoulder. After a few minutes, you break the silence.
“You know, darling, I’ve always wondered…why do you remain unchanged? Why do you still choose to live righteously when you will never be rewarded with a place in Heaven?”
He looks you in the eye. “That was never my goal. All I’ve ever dreamed of was peace. So even if there is no more hope for me…there must be for my fellow humans.”
At that, you hold his cursed hand and give him a pitying look.
“But darling…at this point, can you even call yourself human?”
˖⋆‧˚✦
♡ Decades pass. Dainsleif continues to wander Teyvat, with you as his sole companion. By now, he has long grown tolerant of your presence…and he has even begun to crave it on the days when you are busy in Hell. But he keeps it a secret, along with the sparks of attraction that he is beginning to feel towards you. Instead, he chalks it up to loneliness. That must be it.
♡ Despite that, his affection reveals itself in subtle gestures. Mint brew for your headaches. Practical gifts such as gloves and weapons. Once, the two of you were exploring Dragonspine when he noticed that your scarf had loosened. He adjusted it for you, careful not to touch your scars; and after your initial shock, you stared ahead and quietly thanked him.
♡ These days, he can’t find any Khaenri’ahns apart from a few descendants. In those cases, he has a short conversation with them then leaves without divulging their ancestry. It’s enough to know that those individuals are spared from the curse and able to live ordinary lives, though he wonders if their ancestors are doing well. He can’t make any new friends, either, due to your possessive nature though he does get acquainted with your “family.”
♡ One day, he wanders Liyue on his own and encounters a bespectacled local. He introduces himself as “the Regrator” and commissions Dainsleif to collect Noctilucous Jade for him. With nothing else to do, Dainsleif accepts the job but is later paid a much higher price than the 500 Mora he’d charged. But when he objects, the Regrator gives him a saccharine smile and tells him that he is “merely showing generosity towards his Jiejie’s pet.” Then he disappears.
♡ A year after that encounter, you attend the concert of a Snezhnayan singer. The Balladeer has an emotional voice, but Dainsleif is distracted by a familiar glint in their eyes. After the performance, you bring him to the dressing room. The Balladeer is slumped over a chair, their eyes branded with a sigil, and an indigo-eyed demon looms over them. As you congratulate Scaramouche on “another excellent possession,” Dainsleif dreadfully recalls the traveler he met in Mondstadt.
♡ He confronts you about it in your hotel room. A part of him did suspect your involvement in his acquaintance’s disfigurement, but it’s different when you are guiltlessly confirming it. After a fiery argument, Dainsleif goes to sleep and coldly ignores you for the remainder of his stay in Snezhnaya. It was foolish of him to forget about your sinister nature.
♡ Not long after, he realizes that he hasn’t seen you in days. That is odd—usually, you inform him in advance if you have to stay in Hell for an extended period. Or did his outrage finally have its desired effect on you? He continues his journey, nonetheless, but it feels���different. Since meeting you, he had the assurance that his solitariness is only short-lived, that you’d always come back to bother him. But now? He isn’t so sure.
♡ He stops finding molted feathers on his clothes. When he looks in the mirror, he notices that your love bites have all but faded completely from his body. At the sight of his cursed marks, he recalls the nights you’d spend lovingly tracing the corrupted skin. You once told him that the luminous veins compliment his blue eyes, and his response had been a withering look.
♡ He goes to Sumeru. The House of Daena has undergone multiple renovations, and the secret archive has been moved to a new room. He rereads the texts about you and Khaenri’ah, taking note of each inaccuracy. How many years ago was his last visit? Has it really been 200 years since the day he crossed paths with you? So much has changed since then.
♡ Afterwards, Dainsleif finds himself wandering the area near Khaenri’ah. He hasn’t set foot in his homeland ever since the Cataclysm, but memory is a dangerous temptation. Just as he is about to walk away, he hears a loud sob and runs into the ruins.
♡ He finds a young person kneeling in a patch of Inteyvat flowers, hands clasped in prayer. When he calls out to them, they lift their head to reveal tears and star-shaped pupils in their eyes. Their face, however, is pristine. Are their cursed marks concealed with makeup? Or are they just a descendant of Khaenri’ah? Dainsleif crouches in front of them, offering his help…and that is when the person’s destitute expression twists into an eerie grin.
♡ Suddenly, the Inteyvat wrap around his limbs, restraining him. A heavy weight strikes the back of his head—the blunt side of a sword? Through his blurry vision, he watches as a celestial halo and a pair of glittery wings emerge from the body of the “Khaenri’ahn.” Two similar silhouettes appear near them, one in bronze armor and the other adorned with flowers. Everything goes dark.
♡ When he wakes up, he is in what seems to be a church. His body is chained to the altar and he feels dizzy, fading in and out of consciousness. From the looks of the stained-glass windows, it is already night. Beside him is a wounded figure, also restrained, more skeleton than flesh. They blankly stare ahead, unresponsive to his questions, and…is that Halfdan?
♡ The horrifying revelation is worsened by the presence of his attackers. From what Dainsleif can recall of the books he’d read, they are angels from the Second Sphere. The Dominion’s starry gaze is full of hatred as they narrate his comrade’s life after the Cataclysm. Halfdan had stayed behind to search for survivors, up until the angels took over their home. And in the decades since, he had been starved, tortured, kept alive only by the curse.
♡ By the end of their speech, all hope has left Dainsleif. Already, he is on the brink of passing out again and the chains have neutralized his Khaen’riahn sorcery. How can fate be so cruel to him? As the Dominion flies over to him, their multiple eyes blazing with cruelty, he whispers an apology to Halfdan and braces himself for a new world of suffering.
♡ Except they never lay a hand on him. In a burst of light, a taloned hand grabs the Dominion by the halo and slams them against the marble tiles. The other angels scream and cower in fear, a familiar name leaving their lips. Halfdan remains catatonic. As for Dainsleif, all he feels is pure relief at the sight of his savior.
♡ At this moment, you have never looked scarier. Your face is twisted in an expression of animalistic rage, and your glare could outshine the sun. You curse the Dominion this time, followed by the Virtue and the Power, before flying over to Dainsleif and breaking his chains. Before he faints again, he manages to point at Halfdan and beg you to help him as well.
♡ How long was he asleep? When he wakes up, the stained-glass windows are all shattered to reveal a sky the color of twilight. He and Halfdan have been moved to a corner of the church, kept warm by a blanket. And when he looks around the holy sanctuary, all he can see is carnage.
♡ Pieces of armor and flesh are scattered across the floor—the Power, brutally dismembered. Slumped against the double doors is the body of the Virtue, flowers and wings ripped off their cursed body. A rhythmic pattern of thuds directs his attention to the altar, where you are torturing the Dominion.
♡ They’re still alive, but barely. The eyes on their wings have been gouged out, and their halo has been reduced to fragments. You are bashing their face against the altar repeatedly—for how long? They have been disfigured beyond recognition. You ignore their desperate cries for forgiveness, only stopping when Dainsleif calls out to you.
♡ And just like that, your demeanor shifts from ferocity to concern. A loud crack echoes in the church as you finish off the Dominion and leave their corpse on the altar. Then you go over to Dainsleif, reassuring him that he is safe. But in the warmth of your embrace, he can only look at Halfdan.
♡ It’s too late for him. Irreparable damage has already been done to his body, what more for his psyche. Still, Dainsleif finds himself speaking to Halfdan, staring into his blank eyes, asking you if anything can be done to alleviate his pain. And when you ask him how badly he wants to put his comrade out of his misery…he understands the implication. And he tells you to do it.
♡ He doesn’t know if Halfdan can hear him. Nonetheless, Dainsleif forces a smile on his face, thanks him for faithfully doing his duty, and lies about the fate of Khaenri’ah. Then he moves aside, allowing him to crouch in front of Halfdan. Gently, you touch his face and whisper something to him. Then you spread your wings, blocking Dainsleif’s view.
♡ There is another crack. When you fold your wings, Halfdan’s head has been crushed and you are staring into his blank eyes. Glimpsing his soul, you confirm his comatose state and comfort Dainsleif. The rest of the day is spent preparing a makeshift grave and burying Halfdan in it. When you finally leave Khaenri’ah, Dainsleif turns back to face the ruins of his homeland. He hopes that his comrade is having a nice dream.
˖⋆‧˚✦
“I can do this by myself, you know.”
“I know. Now stay still, won’t you?”
“Right now, your health is more important.”
“And who are you to decide that?”
“______.” He gives you an exasperated look in the mirror and takes the comb out of your hands. “I am perfectly capable of brushing my own hair.”
The mirror reflects your stubborn expression. “But Dain—”
“I insist.” His gaze drifts to your bandaged shoulder, followed by the bruises near your neck. “Get some rest.”
“Oh, fine.” Shaking your head, you walk away from the vanity table.
Dainsleif faces his reflection. Aside from a bruise on the back of his head, his body is unharmed by the angel attack. To think it has only been a few hours since he left Khaenri’ah and returned to Shapur Hotel with you. He doesn’t know how he managed to get through dinner in his grief-stricken state.
At least his physical pain has subsided. And he feels better after taking a bath, though you were insistent on joining him. You wouldn’t even let him hold the hairdryer.
“Where on earth are my feathers?”
The facade of normalcy is broken by your sudden outburst. When Dainsleif turns to you, he sees you sifting through the clothes he’d just worn.
You give him an indignant look. “No wonder those angels didn’t know—What were you even doing in Khaenri’ah? Couldn’t you have at least waited for me to accompany you?!”
“...I kept them in my bag,” he answers. He walks over to the desk, where he’d placed his mask and the satchel you’d gifted him ten years ago. “I never knew there was a rational purpose to your feathers. I thought it was merely a sign of ownership.”
“Huh? Were you blind to the feathers on my brothers’ clothes?”
“That, I believed to be your equivalent of a family symbol.”
“In the past two centuries, did you even think of asking me about it?!”
He did try, at the start of your companionship, and you only said that he’d regret wasting your feathers. But Dainsleif knows better than to say that right now.
So instead, he yields to your embrace. This close, he can feel your body shaking.
“Do you know how frightened I was when I realized what happened to you?” you whisper.
“Now I do,” he mumbles. He hugs you back, positioning his hands below your lower wings. “Thank you for saving me.”
After a few minutes, he is the one to break the silence.
“Where were you these past weeks? I wondered if we’d ever meet again.”
“Oh, that? I just had a lot on my plate. Another headache, a new batch of sinners…and I figured you’d want some time to yourself. Ah, and I almost forgot!”
This time, you pick up your bloodstained clothes and take something out of your pocket.
“Here.” Facing him, you open the velvet box in your hands.
His eyes widen. “Oh, that’s…”
A ring. This isn’t the first one he has received from you, but it looks special. The gold band is engraved with intricate stars. The stone in the center is smooth, lustrous, with a radiant glow.
“What mineral is this?” he asks.
You tilt your head, and that is when he notices your horn. It looks normal at first glance, but it is shorter by a single inch.
“I commissioned one of the best craftsmen in Hell,” you explain. “How’s this? It should be easier to wear than my feathers, don’t you think?”
“It’s beautiful,” he admits, but his gaze hasn’t left your horn. “Was it—”
“It’s fine.” It sounds like the reassurance isn’t only for him. But he can tell that your smile is genuine. “It’ll grow back.”
“All right, then.” He allows you to lift his cursed hand and slip the ring onto his finger. “…Thank you for the gift.”
“Now, why don’t we get some sleep? It’s been a long day.”
With that, Dainsleif follows you to the bed. As always, you wrap your arms around him, pressing your torso against his back. Your wings also hug him, caging him in silvery feathers.
You press a kiss to his shoulder. “Don’t worry, I’ll still be here when you wake up.”
He stares ahead. “If you insist.”
The window showcases the second twilight of the day. You continue speaking.
“Tomorrow, do you want to have dinner at Lambad’s Tavern? It’s been a while since we enjoyed a drink together.”
“Sure,” he says. Already, he can feel the temptation of sleep. “And afterwards?”
A taloned fingertip traces the blue veins on his palm. “We can go wherever you want. There are a lot of new places to visit in Sumeru. I’ve heard of a new resort that opened in Inazuma. Oh, and if we leave for Liyue next week, we can get there in time for the Lantern Rite Festival.”
He intertwines your fingers. “I see. That sounds nice.”
He turns his head, facing you. Your eyes are bright, reflecting the stars in his own gaze.
“We can make our decision tomorrow.” With that, you give him a soft smile and close your eyes. “Sweet dreams, Dain.”
“Good night.”
He remains awake, however, long after the sky has turned dark. His hand is still in yours, his new ring glowing brighter than his cursed marks.
…He doesn’t know what to do, honestly. In two days, he has experienced so much, felt so many emotions, and he has yet to process it all. And there is still the winding road of eternity ahead of him, a future that promises anything but salvation. But tonight…
Tonight, he shall close his eyes and accept his fate.
Perhaps he will even dream of you.
♡
More Church AU here!! Dottore ๑ Capitano ๑ Arlecchino ๑ Pantalone ๑ Pierro
Note:: Please do not send me any Church AU asks/ requests involving characters or dynamics not included in my masterlist.
At long last…..Dain’s fic has been written. This has been in my drafts since April, and I’m really happy with how it turned out!! Also, if the first few bullet points look very familiar, that’s because Pierro’s fic also begins with my worldbuilding for Church AU! Khaenri’ah~
Aahhh I had a lot of fun with Darling! Dainsleif and his demon wife. I rlly enjoyed writing their dynamic, so this definitely isn’t the last time I write for them. Who knows?? Maybe I’ll spare Dain and give him less suffering (˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧
Tag a Dainsleif enjoyer!! @leftdestiny-posts @naraven @pranabefall @navxry @teabutmakeitazure @mochinon-yah @harmonysanreads @stickyspeckledlight
#dainsleif#dainsleif x reader#yandere genshin#genshin x reader#yandere reader#fem reader#tw: yandere#tw: dark#tw: blood#tw: violence#tw: death#tw: noncon#tw: dubcon#spicy warning#mdni#jessamine-writing
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