#series bitchessss

[pascalscoffin]

Muñequita pt. III

Full Pedro Masterlist

Series Masterlist

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Warning: Minors Go Away I Will Kick You In The Forehead. Smut: vaginal fingering; brief dry humping; oral (m and f receiving); Javi has a filthy mouth; Cum sharing/eating; Javi calls your pussy "she" (Yes this is gonna happen a lot in prob a lot of fics- i just think its hot okay bye). No piv cause they’re responsible this time. It’s date night bitchessss. Alcohol consumption (some wine). Javi being his usual flirtatious self. Guess what they go dancing again. Javi actually knows how to dance (like tango and shit cause his mama. I however do not know how to dance I just like watching people dance okay goodbye). Javi being an absolute fucking gentleman.

Again, super long

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Date night with Javier came faster than you thought it would, the next two days practically flying by with Valeria in school for most of the day, allowing you to relax and actually clean the house, and then spent the rest of your time obsessing over your date with Javi.

At about three o’clock, four hours before your date, you were sitting in the salon chair getting your hair washed and done up. Your nerves had your leg shaking and you had to keep reminding yourself to stop it so your hair wouldn’t come out janky.

When your hair was done you paid and then rushed home, letting Valeria sit in the bathroom while you got ready, even putting a little lipgloss on her when she asked you to. “Where are you going?” She asked curiously.

“Papá is taking me out on a date.” Valeria gasped loudly. “You didn’t tell me?! Why didn’t you tell me?!” You laughed softly. “You have to tell me next time, mami!” “Okay, okay! I’ll tell you next time.” You shook your head fondly. “You would probably know if you weren’t so obsessed with Elmo.” She groaned. “But you said not to listen to grown up stuff!” You pursed your lips a little. She had you there. “You’re a very good listener, Valeria.” You kissed the top of her head. “Now, papá will be here in… half an hour. How many minutes is that?”

“Thirty!” Valeria threw her hands up as she shouted the number, making you smile. “Muy bien. Una muñequita tan lista.” Very good. Such a smart little doll You said happily, walking out of the bathroom with her, subconsciously straightening and fiddling with the hem of it.

You were so nervous you hadn’t been able to eat anything all day, your stomach twisting itself into knots and flipping upside down and inside out. You weren’t sure why you were nervous, Javi liked you, you knew that, and he loved Valeria.

But even still, the what ifs started to plague your brain. What if he says something funny and drink comes shooting out of your nose all over him? What if he just finds your laugh annoying? (Absolutely ridiculous because he’d explicitly told you the night you met that he absolutely adored it) what if the date goes astronomically well and then just as you’re about to seal the deal, clothes strewn, he decides he doesn’t like your body post-baby?

You have cellulite now, stretch marks across your stomach and the insides of your thighs, the tightly pulled skin more sensitive than all those years ago. What if he decides he prefers women with smoother skin, unbothered by blemishes?

“¿Mami? ¿Qué te pasa?” Mommy? What’s wrong? Valeria tugged on your hand and you looked down at her. “Nothing. I’m fine, sweetheart.” You kissed her cheek and went to sit down with her, or more to let her sit while you stayed standing, not wanting to crease your dress before Javi saw it in all its original glory. After a moment you heard Valeria’s little voice speak up.

“You look pretty, mommy.” You looked over at her and smiled softly, stopping your pacing to go over to her. “Thank you, Valeria.” You sighed and finally sat down. “I’m nervous.” You told her, laughing lightly.

“Why?” You opened your mouth and then closed it, humming. “… I’m just worried he won’t… like me like he did.” Valeria didn’t seem to understand, frowning deeply and shaking her head. “But… he asked you on a date.” You bit your lip. Leave it to a five year old to inadvertently tell you to get your head out of your ass.

“That’s… true.” You laughed. “I’m sorry, Muñequita. It’s adult stuff.” Valeria looked at you funny but dropped it and looked back at the tv, leaning into you now that you were sitting down.

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When a knock finally came Valeria perked up and bolted to the door, peering through one of the side windows to make sure it was Javi before yanking the door open excitedly, just barely able to reach the handle. “Daddy!” She squealed, throwing herself into his legs as Javier laughed, overjoyed that Valeria was still so excited to see him.

“Valeria!” He gushed, reaching down to pick her up with one arm, the other holding flowers. “You look handsome, daddy.” Valeria giggled and played with Javi’s tie, when she saw the flowers, though she gasped loudly before he could respond.

“Are those for mommy?” She whispered as you came around the corner. Javier grinned and nodded. “They are for mommy.” He looked over when he heard your footsteps and his smile slipped but was replaced instead with a shocked expression, his eyes running over your frame as he gently set Valeria down. “Hey.” He said softly.

You felt your cheeks warm up as you shifted. “Hey.” You smiled softly. “Mommy! Daddy got you flowers, look!” Valeria pointed to the flowers as she bounced. “They’re so pretty!” Your eyes fell to the flowers as Javier held them out to you.

“Oh- Javi you didn’t have to get-“ “what kinda dad would I be if I didn’t show Valeria how a man is supposed to treat her on a date?” Javi raised a brow and you couldn’t help but laugh as you took them. “Besides… hard workin’ mama like yourself needs some pretty flowers.” You felt your cheeks warm up as you smiled and brought the flowers up to sniff. “… thank you. I’m gonna put them in water and uh… then we have to run Valeria to Mrs. Sanders�� and then we can go.” You laughed softly.

Javi nodded and followed you inside while you put the flowers in water and made sure you had everything you needed, mumbling to yourself. Keys, purse, phone, Valeria and Javi-you pointed towards where they stood by the door-and my brain. “Okay let’s go.”

Javi looked down at Valeria with a does-she-always-do-this kinda face, to which Valeria responded with a simple nod. You stopped in front of them and put your hands on your hips, clearing your throat. When they looked at you, you saw two identical puppy eyed what faces, causing you to shake your head. “Come on, Mrs. Sanders is waiting.”

“Mommy she told you to call her Sandy.” Valeria put her tiny hands on her tiny hips and raised a brow at her. “Okay, Miss sassafras.” “Miss sassafras?” Javi looked at you curiously and you shrugged. “Something my grandma used to say when I got sassy.” You looked back at Valeria, missing the way he smiled and gazed at the two of you, like you were his whole world.

Javi held Valeria on your short walk across yards, even though you’d told both of them she was more than capable of doing it alone. They both had the same excuse it’s dark out! They just met and they were already two peas in a pod. Your actual womb was practically bursting at the sight of them connecting so quickly.

As you stepped onto the porch and knocked, Javi looked around and then at you. “I know why your neighborhood seems familiar now.” “Oh, really?” Before he could answer the door swung open and there was a loud squeal.

“¡Javier! ¡Qué alegría verte! Bienvenido a casa, ¡mira qué guapo te has puesto!” Javier! Oh it’s so good to see you! Welcome home, look how handsome you’ve gotten! Sandy pulled Javi and, by association, Valeria into a bone crushing hug. “¡Adelante, adelante! No te entretendré mucho, pero necesito verte a la luz, Dios mío.” Come in, come in! I won’t keep you long but I need to see you in the light, my goodness She ushered the three of you in. “My gosh. How have you been, Javi?”

You stepped into her living room, Javi sitting Valeria on the couch and smiling at Sandy. “I’m good, Sandy. How’ve you been?” “Oh I’ve been okay. Much better now that I have y/n and Valeria to keep me company.” Javi grinned and looked at you, absolutely charmed that you kept his tia-by-association company in her old age. “They’re good company to keep, no?” Javi’s cheeks turned just a flash pink before he was nodding in agreement. “They are.”

You felt your own face warm up and Sandy laughed softly. “Okay, you two go on now. You and I can catch up another time. You have reservations to get to. Off you go.” Sandy was practically shoving you out the door now. “Jeez, where’s the love?”

“It’s there. Feel it. Embrace it. Now share it. Goodnight I will see you tomorrow. Valeria say goodbye to mommy and daddy!” “¡Adiós mamá! ¡Adiós papá!” Goodbye, mommy! Goodbye, daddy! Valeria yelled, occupied with her cookies and tv.

“That’s all we’re getting.” You laughed, the two of you calling goodbye back to her before going to Javi’s truck. Javi, of course opened your door for you and even took your hand to help stabilize you while you got into his truck.

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About twenty-five minutes later after a fifteen minute drive and a ten minute wait, you were seated at your table, Javier looking over the wine list. “This place doesn’t have beer but I remember you saying you liked red, and they have good reds.” You felt your cheeks warm up, remembering momentarily mentioning, six years ago mind you, that you preferred red wine over most alcohol drinks, joking that it made you feel fancy but it also just didn’t upset your stomach quite as much as other kinds did.

“You remember that?” You asked curiously. He looked up over the top of the menu and pursed his lips a bit before he nodded. “Yeah.” He said softly, shrugging. “… I remember a lot of the stuff we talked about.” He smiled softly. You smiled shyly and looked down. “I do, too.” You said softly and he nodded, reaching across the table slowly. “I’m glad you agreed to this.” He gently took your hand and you laughed softly as you laced your fingers with his. “Me too.”

“I know I’ve said it four times since we got in my truck but you really look good tonight.” You laughed softly and looked down as your face warmed up. “Thank you, Javi. So do you. I like that tie.”

Javier looked down at his tie and grinned. “Yeah? Thanks, Christmas gift from my dad.” He muttered, his smile dropping a little as he remembered all the Christmases he’d missed and felt the guilt build in his stomach as you reached across the table, taking his hand in yours.

“Jav… it’s not your fault, okay?” You said softly, squeezing his hand. “It’s mine. I should’ve told you.” You chewed on your lip. “Her birthday is in a few months, though. You can make it up to her then. Besides… she understands why she never got presents from you, you were busy. Fighting the Chicos malos, remember?” Javier chuckled softly and shook his head.

“… she really thinks I’m some kinda hero.” It wasn’t a question, more of a statement, like he was testing the words, getting a feel for them. “Cause you are, Javi.” You rolled your eyes. “Maybe not by traditional standards, but you are a type of hero. Especially to her.” You said softly. “You can’t freak out every time she says it. Otherwise you’ll be in a constant state of freaked the fuck out.”

Javier actually laughed this time, boisterously, and the sight made you smile, laughing with him as he nodded. “Fine. Fine. I’ll stop.” He sighed and looked down at the wine menu again. “Alright… I think I know which one we’re gonna get. You can get whatever you want to eat, Querida. Don’t worry about the price.”

You wondered briefly why he said that- and then you looked at the menu and choked on your own spit. “Jesus- Javi this is-“ “if you say this is too much I’m gonna shove a breadstick in your mouth.” Javi picked up a breadstick and pointed it at you, his eyes locked onto his own food menu. “You birthed my child by yourself five years ago. The least I can do is buy you an expensive dinner.”

You closed your mouth and pouted a little before nodding. “Okay.” You sighed softly and looked through the menu, finding yourself subconsciously looking at the cheaper things on the menu before wandering over towards the higher priced items, deciding to go with the lowest priced thing from the more expensive items.

After the waiter came and took your orders, he poured you both a glass of the wine Javi before leaving the bottle there in a bucket of ice, and then walking away to take other orders. You and Javi talked about the wine, you knowing more about what to say since Javi was more of a liquor or beer man.

“… how long was it? Your labor?” He asked softly after a few minutes of surprisingly comfortable silence. “Oh god.” You laughed softly. “Um… 26 hours.” His eyes got wide. “26-?!” He looked around when a bunch of old people looked at him and you smiled awkwardly and waved shyly. “26 hours?” He whisper-shouted, leaning across the table.

You nodded slowly. “Yeah.” “That’s an entire day plus two hours.” “Last time I checked.” “Fuck..” you laughed softly. “How the hell did you look so good in that picture?” You blinked a couple times and raised a brow. “Good? Javi- I’m covered in sweat, afterbirth, tears. I look like I just lost a fight with a UFC fighter.”

Javier started shaking his head. “You look fucking gorgeous in that photo.” “You’re actually psychotic, I’m afraid. I look like a troll guarding a bridge.” “Don’t talk about the mother of my child that way.” Javi tore a piece of breadstick off and chucked it at you, his eyebrows lifting when it fell right into your dress.

You looked down at your chest and then up at him and the two of you started laughing. “Great. Now it’s gotta stay in there.” You shook your head. “Sorry.” “Are you?” “…. Not really. That was funny.” You were still laughing about it when the waiter came back with your food, offering you both a polite smile as he announced each meal as he sat the plates down, turning them as he did so like he was showing off the food, you returned the smile and thanked him, your stomach growling louder than you wanted it to at the sight of the food.

You looked up and saw the waiter and Javier looking at you with cheeky looks. You looked between them. “I eat Dino nuggets and tater tots three times a week- any other time is spaghetti or white people tacos, okay? I’m stuck on the diet of a toddler. This food looks like heaven on a plate.”

The two of them chuckled and the waiter bid his goodbye before scampering off to do his job, sparing one last look at the two of you- you were a cute couple, usually he hated his customers but you two were just too cute to have any hate towards.

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“Dessert?” You looked up from your now empty plate towards Javier with wide eyes. “Huh?” “Do you want dessert?” Javier chuckled. “Oh god… oh my god yes.” You reached across the table, your eyes glossy and begging. “I can have the whole thing to myself?”

“Of course you can.” Javier laughed and you groaned happily. “Oh my god this is the best night of my life.” You shook your head. “I have to share everything with Valeria. Believe me I love her and I love sharing with her but… sometimes I want to eat a whole sundae by myself- or actually get to eat the ice cream I ordered because she decided to be adventurous and then decided she didn’t want the one she had- halfway through eating it so we were too far to turn around.”

“Wow.” “Sorry- I’m not trying to scare you away.” Javier shook his head frantically. “You’re not. It’s obvious you love her. I love spending time with her, and honestly I’d give her whatever the fuck she wanted from me.” You laughed and nodded. “Those big brown eyes certainly have that effect. I’m glad she got your eyes.” “I’m just glad she didn’t get my nose.” You laughed harder and shook your head. “Stop, Javi. I like your nose.”

Javi scrunched his face and shook his head. “It’s just a nose, Querida. Nothing to like about it.” You felt your cheeks warm up a little, thinking of a few things to like about it. Javier seemed to notice because a slow smirk stretched across his face. “Bonito.” Cute. He teased as you shook your head. “Shut up and eat your dessert.”

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You were back in his truck now, looking around curiously as the scenery turned from familiar to unfamiliar. “Where are we going?” You looked over at Javier curiously, brows furrowed.

He chuckled softly. “It’s a surprise.” You raised a brow. “A surprise?” He nodded. “Yes. A surprise.” He looked over at you and grinned. “Don’t worry. I think you’ll like it.” He winked and you shook your head, cheeks warming as you looked out the window.

Soon enough he pulled up outside- “Javi, is this a dance studio?” You looked up at the building, which adorned a giant sign with ballerina feet. “You’ve cracked another case, Sherlock.” Javier chuckled and got out, jogging over to your side to open the door.

“Why are we at a dance studio?” You asked as he helped you out. “They hold classes once a week.” His cheeks flushed as you looked at him. “… so that’s why you chose today.” He shrugged. “You liked La Bachata… so I thought maybe you’d like to try tango or something.” Your cheeks got hot as you shifted shyly. “Javi��� that’s sweet.” You couldn’t think of what else to say. Sweet was the only word your brain could muster.

Javi chuckled and nodded. “Come on.” He took your hand and guided you to the door, opening it to let you in first. Once you got inside you found what room the class was in and felt your nerves start to scratch at your skin the closer you got to the door.

“You won’t laugh if I suck, right?” Javi laughed softly and shook his head. “Of course I won’t laugh, Hermosa.” He kissed your cheek gently. “I’ll help you. Been dancin’ since I was a niño pequeño.” Little boy. That made you even more nervous. Great. Now you were going to make a fool in front of Javi, who’s been doing this shit since he was in fucking diapers.

"Oh, great. That makes me feel so much better." You shook your head with a soft laugh and chewed on your lip. "Okay, let's go." You smiled and he nodded happily. "You'll have a good time. I promise." "I better." You teased. You knew the chances of you not having a good time were slim to none, you enjoyed being around Javi, it didn't really matter what you were doing.

When you walked into the room you were relieved to see some of the people already there seemed just as nervous as you felt, so you could relax a bit, comforted by the notion of not being the only inexperienced one seconds away from having a massive coronary.

The instructors, thankfully, were extremely nice, even if their Latin beauty made you hate them because who shimmers in florescent fucking lighting? You'd bet your whole salary that she didn't have a single stretch mark or cellulite dent.

When they had all the couples spread out across the dance floor they circled around the room, straightening posture and getting everyone into the right positions and stances. When the woman got to you, her skin golden, arms slender as she set them on her waist and tsked her tongue at you and Javier, you felt judged but not derogatorily so, more so like she was expecting something... more from the two of you, like she could feel the tensions radiating off of you..

"No, no, no. Esto no va a hacer." No, no, no. This will not do. She put her hands on your backs. "Too much space, get closer." She nudged the two of you closer and nodded when your chests bumped together. "Perfect." She smirked, gave you a little wink, and then spun on her heel and made her way back to her husband, an equally attractive Latin man with lighter skin, but his hair just as dark and eyes just as sultry as his wife's.

You watched her go and looked up at Javier curiously, your face burning. “Javi- I don’t have the coordination for this.” “Nonsense.” Javier shook his head. “You’ll do great, besides, look at the rest of these goofballs. None of them have a sexy Latin to keep them on their feet.” You shook your head at him, laughing softly. “You’re insane.” “Maybe.” Javier shrugged a little. "For you." He added with a wink.

You and the other students watched the instructors, moving with them as they showed each move a couple times, before letting the couples practice while just focusing on themselves.

Javier was good, of course he was, he practically came out the womb doing this shit. Because you had a partner that knew all the steps already, it was easy for you to get a grasp on the dance and soon enough you and Javier were moving around the floor gracefully.

You weren’t quite as confident in your moves as Javier was, which means you didn’t quite put your all into it, but the longer you danced, the more you felt Javier’s hands on your waist or sliding over your arms. You felt yourself fall further into the dance, moving more freely and less stiff.

When Javi spun you out without much of a warning you yelped, his grip on your hand kept you from spinning away completely, though. When he brought you back to his chest it was just as abrupt but not out of beat or clumsy, you let out a gasp as his free arm wrapped around your waist and tugged you tight against his chest, and then dipped you down in one fluid motion, letting go of your hand in favor of grabbing onto your thigh.

His arm around your waist, his fingers digging into your thigh, they were driving you crazy, the skin practically on fire under his calloused fingers, the digits twitching near the hem of your dress, like he wanted to push his hand up higher.

Your face and neck burned as he grinned and kissed you, slowly bringing you up, you heard clapping around you. Nothing crazy, just soft respectful claps as you shook your head. “Javi-“ “you did fantastic.” Javi chuckled and held your chin between his fingers. “Just like I thought. Practically a natural.” You shook your head again with a soft laugh. "Javi..." you repeated.

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When the class was over, the instructors stood by the door to tell everyone goodnight and to invite them back the next week.

You and Javi were closer on the way back to his truck, his arm around your waist as he opened your door for you. You kissed his cheek before getting into the truck, you knew the date would be over soon, Javi would take you home and since Valeria was staying the night with Sandy, you’d be alone and left to do house work until you got tired.

"Sorry i kissed you like that around all those people." He chuckled once he got in the driver's side. "I've been wantin' to kiss you all night, you look fucking fantastic in that dress." He started the truck as he turned his head towards you. You smiled and shook your head, reaching out to hold one of his hands while he drove. "Believe me- it was more than okay." You laughed softly.

"I've really missed you, Javi. I'm comfortable around you, even then, even now." You squeezed his hand and saw a soft smile stretch across his face. "i wanted to call, or write but I... I was just so scared and I.. I didn't want to distract you over there... I knew it was dangerous there and I didn't want you to get hurt because you found out I kept her from you."

Javi got a soft forwn on his face as he started shaking his head. "I understand, Querida. Don't feel bad. I wasn't ready to be a dad- mentally or.. physically. I wasn't a good man over there. I'm not convinced I am one over here but... I want to try. For you and her."

You smiled softly and squeezed his hand tightly. "We would love that, Javi. We really would." You said softly, leaning over to press another kiss to his cheek. He smiled and leaned into it as he nodded. "Good. I don't know what I would do if you told me you didn't want me in your lives."

You shook your head. "I'd never say that- for one I'm pretty sure Valeria would probably smother me in my sleep- if the guilt didn't kill me first." Javi chuckled and chewed on his lip. "I'm glad she likes me so much." "Likes you? Javi she's been in love with you since she was old enough to know you existed." You laughed softly.

"She used to... beg me to tell stories about you. About us..." You looked down with a small frown. "I never had much to tell her. But I made sure she knew it was my fault you weren't around. She's never had any ill-will towards you, no malice, nothing. I told her how... easy it was to be around you, though, how comfortable I was.. and she knows we weren't.. together. She doesn't understand how that works but she knows no one left or gave up." You said softly. "She... gets a little sad seeing all the other little girls with their daddies, sometimes she would.. get mad at me for it, for not telling you." Javi furrowed his brows and you shook your head. "I preferred it that way- her being mad at me instead of you." You shrugged and smiled softly at him.

"We don't have to worry about that anymore, though. You're here now, you know, and you're not running in the other direction. She loves you, you're absolutely smitten with her. All we have to focus on now is the future." Javi nodded in agreement, looking at you occasionally as he drove. He could tell you felt bad, guilty, about not saying anything to him sooner, and he hated that you felt that way.

The rest of the drive was quiet, comfortable, but still quiet. When he pulled into your driveway you took a deep breath and looked at him. "Do you... maybe wanna come in? For some wine or.. or something?" You didn't have to do anything, you weren't planning to anyway. You didn't have condoms inside, you weren't on birth control. Those were things you hadn't needed for six years, and as much as you would love to take Javi into your bedroom and let him fill you with another baby- doing something like that now would be incredibly.. dumb and premature.

Javi smiled at your offer and turned his truck off. "I would love to." He said softly before getting out and jogging over to your side, pulling open your door and taking your hand to help you out the same way he'd helped you in earlier- a quick peek over his shoulder shows Sandy peering out her window with a smirk before she disappeared.

You shook your head a little and headed to the door with Javi, opening it and stepping inside.

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Truly, you had to be an idiot to think you could be alone, in a private setting with Javi, and not want him in or on top of you. Add wine and one of your CDs to the mix and you're truly, truly fucked.

It had started simple enough, Javi stayed in the living room while you went into the kitchen and grabbed two wine glasses and a bottle of red you've had opened since he left that first night. When you'd come back you'd found him standing near your stereo, loosening his tie a bit as he looked at your collection. Both of your shoes were sitting neatly by the door in the cubby you'd bought after Valeria started walking, wanting somewhere for her to put her shoes when she took them off. The sight had your chest warming.

"... you can put one in if you want." He looked good, the lighting of your house was brighter than the restuarant but softer than the dance studio, making his skin look tanner and more touchable, you had to look away to compose yourself. "Yeah?" Javi looked at you and then back at the CDs. "Any particular one you feel like hearing?" You hummed, slowly shaking your head as you filled the glasses about halfway before setting the bottle down. "Not really, whatever you wanna listen to."

It took him a minute, but soon you heard the disc tray slide out, a cd drop on it, and then the sound of it sliding back in before the music started.

A soft smile pulled at your lips as the sound of 'Big Love' by Fleetwood Mac started to fill your ears. Your favorite. You picked up the glasses and carried them over to Javi, extending one out to him. "How'd you know this was my favorite album?" Javi chuckled and picked up the worn out case. "Intuition." He teased.

You'd showed him around a little, your house was ground floor so there were no basements or attics or upstairs to venture towards, and since he'd already seen Valeria's bedroom, and your bathroom there wasn't much else to show him, besides your bedroom, but that felt like it held an implication, a duty, so you avoided it and led him back to the couch.

It was inevitable, really, that you would end up here, Javi's lips molding against yours as your tongues pressed and twisted together as the sound of 'Everywhere' filled the house. If your mouth wasn't so occupied you probably would've laughed at how accurately it described how you'd felt about Javi since having him back.

You were perched on his lap at this point, your hips rocking together languidly. His hands were gripping your dress, bunching it up at your waist tightly, ruining that pristine perfection you'd been so worried about earlier, likely bruising your hips- except now you couldn't care about the possible bruising or the crinkles in your dress. How could you? Javi was panting into your mouth, letting out deep, quiet moans with every synchronized grind of your hips, your sounds mixing together with Stevie Nicks' voice. You'd be a fool to care about crinkling a dress when this was happening.

"You gonna show me your bedroom?" He mumbled softly and the sentence had your stomach fluttering like a teenager. "I don't have condoms." You rushed out quickly, swallowing thickly as he raised a brow. "Me neither.. obviously the birth control thing doesn't work." He teased and you laughed softly, your cheeks warming up.

"But.. y'know I can still make you cum without fucking you- and I don't know if you remember but I love it almost as much as the first thing." Your eyes widened as he smirked, watching the realization flood your face. "Now... unless you're not into it- which I know you definitely were into it." He eased you off his lap and stood up. "You left one room out of your tour."

You shook your head and grabbed his hand before tugging him towards your bedroom, chewing on your lip. "I don't look the same... my body, it's different" You told him once you got to your room, clearing your throat a little as he moved closer to you. "Well.. obviously, Querida." He chuckled softly and grabbed your chin, lifting your head to look at him. "Tuviste un bebé. Mi bebé." You had a baby. My baby. He whispered softly, nudging his nose against yours lightly. "It's loved and grown and cared for a little baby." He added, his free hand sliding up your curves, over your stomach, and finally up to palm one of your breasts, making your breath hitch.

You swallowed thickly and chewed on your lip. "I'm bigger now, and I've got stretch marks and cellulite-" "Your body is proud of it's accomplishments, that's all that is, showing the world how strong you are." He purred softly, tilting your head up more before he leaned down and pressed his lips to your neck, sliding them over the soft skin with gentle kisses. "You should be just as proud."

He walked you towards your bed, his hands coming up to pull the zipper of your dress down your back, and then slipping it over your shoulders, groaning softly as he watched it fall to the floor, taking your hands to help you step out of it before turning you around, a wide grin on his face as he took a step back. "Mamacita.." He purred softly, sliding his eyes over you hungrily. "Mírate. Fucking beautiful." look at you.

"Javi... you're still wearing your clothes." He chuckled. "I know, Mamacita. Wait on the bed, get comfortable." You pouted and he chuckled. "You're not going to until I let you undress me, are you?" You shook your head defiantly and he rolled his eyes fondly before pulling you in. "Fine." He whispered before kissing you softly.

You smiled against his lips, your hands coming up to pull his tie loose and toss it somewhere, quickly followed by that jacket before you started unbuttoning his shirt, not as fast as you'd rid him of his tie and jacket, and when you finally had it untucked and off his shoulders you pulled away and pushed him back a little.

Your lips separated with a soft smack and you could've sworn you heard Javi whine. He frowned at first, thinking you wanted to stop, and then he saw the look in your eyes, how you were eating him up like he'd done you moments ago. Then, you reached out and grabbed his belt buckle, tugging him forward and kissing him again.

He groaned loudly and grabbed your hips tightly, moaning as your hands tugged his belt open and out of the loops. Once his slacks were pushed down he stepped out of them and pushed you back towards your bed, watching you fall down on it with a soft groan. "Been dreamin' about doin' this again for years, baby.” He climbed over you, pressing a kiss to your neck.

You shuddered and wrapped your arms around his neck loosely, tilting your head so he’d have more room. “Me too, Javi.” You said softly. “Haven’t been with anybody since you.” You bit your lip as he leaned back to look down at you. “What?”

You shook your head a little and shifted. “Haven’t wanted to. Haven’t needed to.” You said softly. “I felt bad, Y’know Valeria’s just a baby.. it would’ve felt wrong.” You chewed on your lip as you looked up at him, swallowing thickly. “And when I was pregnant… well I was pregnant, Y’know? Fat and sweaty and gross.” Javi shook his head. “You couldn’t be gross. Ever.” He gripped your chin tightly and leaned down to kiss you. "Talk down about my baby mama-" he muttered against your neck disapprovingly, making you laugh softly. "Should be ashamed." He added

“Bet you looked gorgeous pregnant.” Javi kissed your forehead, then your cheeks, and finally your chin before leaning back again. “Would’ve been all over you, Querida.” He purred, nudging his nose against your cheek. "Not gonna miss the second one."

"Second one?" You teased with a soft laugh. Javi hummed and nodded, kissing your neck. "Mhm. Gonna stay around, make you mine, make both of y'all mine. Have a big happy family." You felt your cheeks warm up, smiling up at him.

"you sure you want that? Wanna be stuck in little Laredo with me and a house full of babies?" Javi grinned widely and leaned down to kiss you. "As long as you're the mama." He purred softly before trailing his lips down your torso, peering up at you.

"For right now, though... we can settle for this. For our one little baby." He said softly, nipping lightly at your skin as you shuddered. "Can worry about filling you up later, after I put a ring on that finger." You didn't know how truthful he was being, if he actually wanted to marry you or if he was just overwhelmed with all these familiar emotions. But you hoped he meant it, prayed he meant it.

His lips ghosted over your core, still covered in the soft black lace you'd put on earlier- just because you weren't expecting him to see you like this, doesn't mean you can't wear something to give you some confidence. You let out a soft gasp and looked down at him, swallowing thickly. The only orgasming you'd done since Valeria was born was from masturbating, and it wasn't a recurring thing because Valeria often ended up sleeping in your bed before morning.

Lately you hadn't been able to make yourself cum at all, too busy caring for Valeria, working, or cleaning up the house. Of course, night time was usually when you took your chance, but Val was having trouble sleeping lately, which usually meant by ten she was knocking on your door and asking for milk or to sleep with you, and you could never say no to her.

"Querida?" Javi's voice drifted to your ears and you looked down at him from the ceiling, blinking a little. "You okay?" You nodded quickly. "Uh-huh. I'm okay." Javi chuckled softly. "Alright, looked like you were somewhere else for a second there- I hope I'm not boring you already." His tone was teasing but you could see a flash of something else, too, doubt maybe? Insecurity?

You widened your eyes and shook your head rapidly. "No- absolutely not." You laughed softly. "Sorry- just- been a few months since I've been able to get enough time to myself to.. y'know enjoy myself to completion." Javi's eyes widened. "I guess that's what I was thinking about."

"Not even in the shower?" you shrugged a little. "My showers hardly ever exceed 15 minutes and honestly I'm pretty sure Valeria would literally run away towards something more entertaining if I took too long." Javi laughed softly and nodded like he understood where you were coming from.

"Okay-I promise I'm not gonna be in my head anymore. I'm here. completely here." Javi smiled and leaned up to press a soft kiss to your lips before he was diving back down again.

He was taunting you a bit this time, pressing feather light kisses to your core as he slowly tugged the panties down your legs, humming as he scraped his teeth lightly against your skin, chuckling softly when your thighs twitched as he went over the stretchmarks, looking up at you with a smirk.

You couldn't make yourself look away if Jesus himself came down and told you it would save the world. Damn the world, Javier Peña was between your legs, sliding his tongue over the insides of your thighs before finally, finally putting it where you wanted it and sliding it firmly through your folds, flattening his tongue completely as you shuddered.

"Javi..." you moaned and dropped your head back, your eyelids finally fluttering shut. You whined though when as you'd pushed up towards javi's face, he was pushing you back down against the mattress and holding you there firmly, looking at you through his lashes.

He was holding your clit in his mouth, tongue massaging the sensitive bundle of nerves when you felt a finger nudge at your hole and then slip in ever so slowly. Your back arched and you moaned, your eyelids fluttering but not really opening.

Javi was moaning against you, pushing his hips down into the mattress as he groaned, sucking on your clit happily. The noises he was making were driving you up the wall, sending vibrations through you that had your legs shaking, whimpering happily and tangling your fingers tightly in his hair. "J-Javi.. fuck." You moaned, chewing on your lip as you looked down at him.

"Feels so good, Javi." Javi smirked a little against you, humming softly. He held eye contact with you, one hand still firmly gripping your hip as he slid a second finger into you and curling them up.

You let out a soft gasp, your hips jerking up a bit as he started thrusting and curling his fingers, his mouth still sucking on your clit while simultaneously massaging it with his tongue. His fingers were thrusting in and out of you, curling and twisting as he fucked you with them, his eyes glued to yours.

Eventually you started to tug on his hair, trying to bring him up with weak whines. Javi, who remembered how you'd begged him to kiss you that night, latching your lips to his whenever you had the chance, immediately caught on and let you pull him up into a breathy kiss. That night it took him no time to realized how much you liked to be kissed, how your breath would leave you and you would let out the cutest sound, he found it endearing, not to mention ironic because even though he didn't seem like the type- Javi was big on kissing.

There was something about the vanilla taste of most lipglosses, the soft stickiness it left behind, that made his heart purr and curl up like a warm kitten. Maybe it was the implication of a good time, or even just the soft intimacy of having someone kiss him, want him for something that didn't involve shoving a gun in someone's face or putting cold metal cuffs around their wrists.

Eating someone out was a close second to kissing them, a very very close second, and as much as he loved being buried in a tight, warm, wet pussy, those two things blew fucking out of the water. But, in his six year journey of thinking about you all the time, he came to realize that if he tried the scale on you, tried to think of which he preferred more, he couldn't even compare them.

It was corny as shit and if he thought about it too much it freaked him out, but evertyhing with you was his favorite thing. He wanted it all, all the time.

As he kissed you he eased in a third finger and pressed his thumb against your clit and slowly circling it, humming softly as you moaned against his mouth, wrapping your arms around his neck to hold him closer to you since he was still holding you down with that other hand.

With Javi this close to you, his cock laying heavily against you, his fingers fucking and massaging inside you, when he rediscovered your gspot you'd twitched around his fingers, he felt your nails dig into his shoulders, and your jaw went slack, breaking the kiss, but with no sound actually coming out.

"Ahí está. Apuesto a que me extrañó /tanto/." There she is. I bet she missed me /so much/. He purred, continuing to massage your g-spot, watching the way your eyelids fluttered and then finally closed, brows furrowing as you let out breathy moans, his name occasionally slipping out. "Doing so good for me, mamacita. Squeezing my fingers so well." Your stomach twitched when his warm precum started to dribble onto your stomach, ears burning at his words. "Javi." You shuddered. "You're being vulgar." You said softly.

"Oh, Querida... but she loves when i talk about her." He purred, starting to add more pressure to your clit and gspot, making you moan louder as your chest pressed up into his, your nails dragging down his back an inch before they stopped. "She just cries and throbs for me~" You shuddered and whimpered softly.

You wanted to have some kind of upperhand here, wanted to return the favor, so you gathered his precum from where it was pooling on your torso and gripped the base of his cock, watching as his eyes squeezed shut and his jaw clenched. "Fuck- you don't have to. Could probably cum just from this."

You shook your hand and drug your hand up slowly, watching the way his shoulders shuddered and his muscles trembled under the skin. The same way they had then when you touched him, the same way you'd felt them trembling that first night, and again at dinner, and again when you were dancing. Javi's muscles quaked every time you touched him, sometimes sending a full shiver through him, other times making his fingers twitch or his hand curl up and rub his palm like he was squeezing a stress ball.

"Wanna make you cum, Javi." You moaned and pushed down on his fingers, not matching the speed he was using. "Want you to cum in my mouth, though." You whined. "Only got to taste it once." He groaned and dropped his face into your neck, fucking into your hand a little, stopping his hand in favor of throughly massaging your gspot and clit with the same circular motions. When his hand slid from your hip and to the bottom of your abdomen, immediately pressing down, not enough to hurt you, but hard enough that everything felt a hundred times better.

"Javi- Javi I-I'm gonna..." your hand was moving sloppier now, a little slower as your orgasm started to demand its release from its six month prison. "Joder, sí, mamacita. Cum para mí. Empapa mis dedos- mierda- quiero ver esa cara bonita cuando te corras. Keep your eyes open." Fuck, yes. Cum for me. Soak my fingers- shit- I want to see that pretty face when you cum. He pressed his forehead against yours, groaning happily as he lazily fucked your hand, you wanted to taste him and he was happy to let that happen, but your hand felt so fucking good, so until you came down he was going to take a little advantage of that.

You came with a loud cry, arching your back as your legs trembled and you felt an unfamilar gushing feeling. You did your best to keep your eyes open, looking up into Javi's big brown ones made it a little easier. "There you go, baby. Fuck, look at you. Fucking gorgeous, especially when you cum." You shuddered and whined. "Did- did I-" "You did." Javi chuckled softly and kissed you softly as he circled your clit slowly, when your hips jerked away he stopped and kissed your neck. "Did so good for me, too." "You were trying to make me do that." "Well, duh. You said you haven't cum in months. Had to make the first one after a dry spell mind-blowing."

You blinked rapidly and shook your head slowly before kissing him deeply, sitting up and cupping his cheeks before you pulled away. "Sit back." He grinned and did as he was told, leaning back against your headboard and watching as you got between his legs, licking his lips slowly.

He set his hand on the back of your head, not pushing or tugging on your hair, just holding his hand there. You felt his other hand grasp at your fingertips and you coudn't help but smile against the skin of his stomach, sliding your hand up to lace your fingers together.

When you finally got to where he wanted your mouth, lips grazing over the length of his cock, he gasped and dropped his head back, muttering something in Spanish that was too quiet for you to hear good enough. You smiled and hummed softly before using your free hand to grasp the base of his cock before wrapping your lips around the tip and slowly sliding down, taking him all the way down your throat with just a little resistance, your throat not used to be stuffed so full.

"Fuck- look at you." Javi groaned, his brows furrowing as he looked down at you. "So pretty with my cock in your mouth." His hips jerked a bit, making you gag. "Joder. Lo siento, cariño. Lo siento." Fuck. I'm sorry, honey. I'm sorry. He said softly, forcing himself to settle his hips back down against the mattress.

Once you felt your throat relax a bit around him you breathed in through your nose and started bobbing your head up and down, looking up towards him through your lashes. The sight was heavenly, Javi's eyes squeezed shut, his chest heaving as he panted and moaned, his hand gripping your hair while the other squeezed your hand, muttering under his breath.

With each pull up you pressed your tongue to the vein on the underside of his cock. When you got to his tip you'd stop there, focus on sucking there while your hand focused on the rest of his shaft, your tongue circled and pressed under the edge. Javi groaned loudly and gripped your hair a little tighter. "Maldita sea. Echaba de menos esa boca. Me arrastraría por el infierno sobre mis manos y rodillas si pudiera sentir esa boca para siempre." God damn. I missed that mouth. I'd crawl through hell on my hands and knees if I could feel that mouth forever. He dropped his chin to look down at you, pupils blown and eyes glossy.

He looked so pretty, sweat beading on his forehead and temples. You wondered briefly if you should've turned the air up a little, but ignored the thought and went back to bobbing your head, sucking harder whenever you got to his tip, your hand following your mouth's path.

It wasn't long before Javi's breathing got harsher, his moans became weak grunts and whimpers, and he was spilling into your mouth, his hips jerking up as his hand tugged on your hair and the other squeezed your hand. You were quick to swallow as much of it as you could, some of it spilling from your mouth and out the corners.

Javi looked down at you, panting heavily and shaking his head before he pulled you off of his cock with a soft pop. "C'mere." He mumbled, humming softly before sticking his tongue out and licking his cum from the corners of your mouth before kissing you deeply.

You moaned and kissed him back eagerly, grabbing onto his shoulders lightly as he wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you close to him. "So beautiful, baby. So good at that, too. Fuck." He said softly, peppering you in little kisses as he laid the two of you back.

"You'll stay, right?" You looked up at him and he smiled softly. "Of course I will." He said softly. "We'll relax a little, calm down, and then we'll go take a shower, get some water, and then we can come back to bed, and get some rest."

You smiled and nodded happily, leaning in to kiss him again before laying your head in the crook of his neck. You laid there for about ten minutes before you showered, got some water, made sure to use the bathroom.

And then you were curled up with Javier again, curled up into his side as you nuzzled his neck, sighing happily. His hands were tracing your back like he'd done so long ago. Except, this time, Javi wasn't hesitant, didnt let minutes pass before he pulled you closer, his fingertips made full contact with your skin. His other arm was wrapped tightly around your waist, his lips pressing kisses to the top of your head.

You fell asleep pretty quickly, Javi's heart beat in his chest, his warm body pressed tightly against yours lulling you off faster than you would've liked.

You hoped Javi meant what he said earlier, about staying and being a better man for his family, you wanted him around, wanted to see him care for your daughter, kiss her booboos and soothe her after a nightmare. You wanted him to be there for every birthday, every christmas, every thanksgiving. You wanted Javi at every holiday and function you'd ever have to go to. You just hoped he wanted the same thing.

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Taglist:

@wonwoosthetic @stonerlaur4 @picketniffler

[bumblebet-20]

What we left behind

5sos x reader

warnings: swearing, divorce, angst (oh so much).

A/N: GUYS OMG THIS IS MY VERY FIRST SERIES AND IM SOOOO EXCITED :3

Couldn't have done this without my boo @aspiringwildfire

-FLASHBACK-

“Happy Birthday, Enid!” Everyone yells after I blow out the candles, tossing up confetti they held in their hands.

“What did you wish for, Ed?” Calum asks, face covered in frosting from the chocolate cupcake.

“You know I can’t tell you, Cal!” I giggle slightly, turning towards the slice of strawberry cake in front of me.

“I can’t believe my baby is 7 today!” My mum says, suddenly behind me and nearly squeezing the life out of me.

“Hey, Ed! Let’s go play!” Michael exclaims on the other side of the yard, holding a yellow ball in his hands. A quick giggle escapes my lips as I quickly move out of my mum’s arms, running over to where he stands, followed by Calum and Luke.

“Be careful of your dress honey!” My mum hollers as we chase the ball, her words barely reach my ears as I focus on beating the other team.

We played football until the sun set, the only time we took a break was when people left and I had to say goodbye to them. Daryl came out and brought us inside for dinner, only us four and our parents remain to finish the celebrations.

“Eat up kids, we’ll set up the tent in a bit.“Liz says, setting down a box containing a large Cheese pizza in front of us.

-After finishing the pizza and getting the tent set up, we settle in our sleeping bags, the only source of light being the lantern in the middle of our circle.“Did you have a fun birthday?” Michael asks, stopping his game of ���Crazy Eights’ with Calum.“

I had a blast! You three made it great” “

Aw, Ed! We’ll always be here to make your birthday awesome” Luke exclaims, pulling me into a tight hug. The others soon join, causing a dog pile and loud laughs to erupt from all of us.

Once the laughter calmed down and we resumed our previous games, a thought ran through my head “Hey guys? Can we all agree to remain friends no matter what?” 

“Of course! Nothing will tear us apart” Calum says, earning agreement ‘yeahs’ “We’re gonna be best friends for life!” Luke hollers

.-10 years later (2012)-“Come on,Becks! We can’t miss this!” I exclaim, grabbing the hand of my best friend, weaving through the crowd outside the building and stopping in front of the stage, waving at the boys while they are getting their instruments ready.

“Oh! Here are our seats” She points to a round table filled with chairs right in front, our names scribbled on paper. 

“Hey girls,”Joy says, taking a seat in her designated chair, Mali following right behind her. 

“Everyone else is right behind us, “Mali says, motioning to the door where the familiar heads of the Hemmings’ bobs over everyone else.

-

Once everyone got settled in their chairs, Luke taps the microphone lightly.

“Hello, we are Five Seconds of Summer and welcome to our show!” Luke says into the microphone, earning a round of applause and a ‘whoop’ from me.

“1,2,3,4!” Ashton exclaims before the music begins, filling the nearly empty space with the beginning of ‘Unpredictable’. My foot starts to tap at the beat, unable to contain my smile when Lukes’ voice fills the room.

“She sit at home with the lights out” Rebecca sings lowly next to me.

“Seeing life in different colours” We finish together, pretending our hands are microphones.

-

“Thank you for coming! This has been Five Seconds of Summer! Good night!” Luke exclaims into the mic before walking off stage.

“Alright, let’s go see our boys,“Liz says as she stands up and heads to the doors where the boys went off from.

“Mum!”  Luke exclaims, running to her once we all enter their changing room. All the boys greet their families before I’m swiftly picked up by Ashton and spun around.

“Alright,put her down before you hurt someone, “My mum says, stopping Ashton from spinning my brains out and gently places me on solid ground.

“So, food anyone?” David receives shouts of agreement in return.The parents walked ahead to the cars while we took our time heading out.

“Oh boys! I made some gifts for you” I dig around my bag before finding the plastic baggy, taking out four bright bracelets, each one having a letter for each boy. Rebecca takes two and puts them on the right boy’s wrist.

“Are these friendship bracelets?” Michael asks, twirling around the orange one on his wrist.

“Yeah. I just thought that you boys are gonna make it big someday and I just- don’t  want you to forget about the little people” I awkwardly shuffle my feet across the concrete floor, suddenly feeling embarrassed that I even did this.

“I love it! What better way to signify our friendship than with a bracelet!” Ashton tugs me into a hug, squeezing me tightly.

“Alright you kids, let’s go!” Liz says from the end of the corridor, motioning with her hand to come.

“We better go, don’t want an angry Liz on our hands” Calum comments as we all walk towards the door.

[1 month later]

I hum quietly as I braid Becks hair, the two of us deciding to have a sleepover at my house.

“Have you been watching the videos they upload? They’re gaining a lot of views” She says quietly, busy drawing in her sketchbook.

“I know, it's about time people realize their talent”

A knock on my window makes us jump as we turn to it and see Calum’s face pressed against it.

“Cal, what are you doing?” I question once he’s inside.

“ You won’t believe the news we just got” Becks and I share a confused look before returning our attention to the bouncing boy.

“Well? Spill dude” Calum gives her an unamused look, but continues to bounce.

“Okay so we’ve been getting a good number of views on our covers and earlier we got an email asking if we’d be interested in opening for this group-”

“What group?” Rebecca asks, curiosity getting the better of both of us.

“One Direction” Both our jaws drop at the name.

“That’s amazing Cal! I told you you boys would get famous one day!”

“We sign the contract tomorrow and start working out a setlist”

“When do you guys leave?” Calum nervously swallowed at the question.

“Three months” I feel my heart drop at how soon they’ll be leaving.

“Senior year starts in three months…”

“We know, but this is such a great opportunity and this is the boost we need to become famous”

“I’m so happy for you guys!”I exclaim overly eager, earning an odd look from Rebecca.

“We just knew you would be!” He flashes us his award winning smiling before slipping back out the window.

“Alright, spill. That was such a fake congratulations.”

“I’m- I’m happy for them”I fiddle with the brush I was holding.

“Bull. Shit. I’ve never seen more forced joy than right there.”

“What’s gonna happen when they leave for tour? We’re gonna stay behind while they go off and make a name for themselves.” 

“Aren’t you happy that they got this opportunity? This is what they want” I sit on the edge of my bed and she joins, placing a hand on my shoulder.

“Yeah but- I can’t help but think that it was supposed to us 6. Forever. No one and nothing can come between us”

“They’re still your boys. Now-” She stands, grabbing my hands on the way. “Let’s go get some ice cream and watch movies.. We can deal with this later” I laugh but follow her out to the kitchen.

[5 months later]

“Any response yet?” I simply shake my head at my mum’s question, returning to the book I was reading. “They’ll text back. Just got to be patient honey.”

“Yeah” I reopen IMessage and all texts to them since they left have all been left on read and I can’t figure out why. “I’m going to hang out with Rebecca for a bit” I say after reading her text, receiving a simple ‘mhm’ from my mum.

<

“And they haven’t even said a simple ‘hi’ or ‘ thanks’?” Rebecca questions, popping a crisp in her mouth.

“Nothing. Did- Did I do something? Should I have sent mail or-”

“Ed stop. You did nothing wrong, okay? They’re hormonal teenage boys, we should really expect this behavior.. But that by no means excuses their rudeness.” I go quiet, opting to play with my sandwich.

“They’re performing in Sydney in two weeks.. I was thinking of stopping by” I casually say, not looking up from the food.

“Alright.” I look up at her, shocked by her response. “I don’t agree with this idea but I’m not not gonna let you do this- definitely not alone.” She puts her hand over my own, offering a soft smile. “Now. About this Art assignment”

\night of concert\

“Okay, the plan is as follows: we go to the concert. Park where we see tour buses and wait. Find the boys and talk. Ending the night with pizza, candy and scary movies at my place.”

“Sounds like a well thought out plan.” I take one last look at myself, adjusting my top before turning to my brunette friend. “Ready?”

“Ready” We loop arms, skipping the whole way to her car.

..

“Damn, they are loud” Becks jokingly says from our position against the car, listening to our boys play.

“They sound good (feels good hehe :D)” I comment, pushing some of the gravel around with the toe of my combat boots.

We remain in a comfortable silence until the doors swing open and familiar voices fill the air. I look over at her, wide eyed.

“Now or never babe”

“What do I-”

“Hey boys!” She screams, making them all turn around, alarmed looks on their faces.

“Uh- Hi” Luke says, waving awkwardly in our direction.

“Enid here would like to talk to you boys. In private”She nudges me forward and I take timid steps to them.

“Let’s go in the bus” Ashton opens the door for everyone before closing it behind him.

“So-”

“Why’d you guys do it? Why did you just up and ignore me?” They nervously look at one another before Calum steps forward.

“We- uh got busy?”

“If you wanted to still be my friend you would’ve made an effort” I state, crossing my arms across my chest.

“We do it’s just that-” Luke begins but I cut him off, anger starting to run in my veins,

“What happened to ‘remain friends no matter what’”?

“You don’t understand, our life is so crazy now! We still consider you a friend, not best friend but, friends. Why are you still upset about this? It’s not like we completely abandoned you” Michael says from his position in a chair.

“ You couldn’t say ‘hey thanks!’ when I congratulated you?”

“Yeah bu-” Ashton tries but I cut him off.

“You could’ve tried.. But you ALL decided I wasn’t worth the effort!” I take a few slow breaths to try and keep calm “I tried to keep this friendship when you guys left but, not much I can do when you won’t even try”

“We still want a friendship. It’s just gonna be a little different now” Ashton says, taking timid steps towards me.

“No. If you wanted a friendship you would’ve kept up with it. None of you even reached out when my parents went through a horrible divorce. I really needed my best friends support but I got nothing.”

“We didn’t know your parents divorced Ed” Michael explains, all four of them clearly looking distressed.

“Stop. Stop right now. Our parents all still talk so you would’ve been told about it but sure, let’s play dumb. Also, that nickname is reserved for close friends and none of you are that.”

“ Alright,let’s all calm down and think about this rationally.” Ashton says, trying to mediate the best he can.

“I’ve already said everything that I wanted.Goodbye” I quickly leave the bus, practically diving into the passenger seat.

“How did it go?” At the sound of her voice I immediately break down in tear, sobs shaking my whole body. “Oh honey no shh” She brings me into her side, rocking us slowly. “They didn’t deserve your friendship. You’re too kind and you need someone who will love you for yourself and not make you cry like this.”

“I’ll never trust them again” 

- 

AND THAT’S PART 1 HOLY SHIT I’M SO EXCITED. please let me know your thoughts but be nice cause I’m a small bean :3

[unidentifiedblackthorn]

HAPPY WITCHSHADOW RELEASE DAY. ik i’m a day late but everything’s been a bit hectic anyway OMG IT’S FINALLY HITTING STORES MY COPY ARRIVES ON SATURDAY AND I CANT CONTAIN MY EXICTMENT I AM GOING TO FUCKING DEVOUR THAT BAD BOY

[stradivarus]

we all try and get away but we never do.

[thatavatarchick]

Rating the new Monster High designs 'cause I honestly love them.

1. Clawdeen

I love that they gave her actual fur and a wolf nose!

All the moons incorporated into her look pull the whole thing together

HER FRECKLES ARE SO CUTE.

The whole "half-human" is new but I kinda like it

My only problem is that her lighter hair with the purple streaks is too much purple; i feel like her darker hair would have balanced it put more.

2. Draculaura

THEY GAVE HER A SUNHAT. CRUCIAL VAMPIRE ACCESSORY

Her hair seems a lot more vampiric; the split color with the pointed bangs? Nice

I like that they kinda made her a rebel. wants to be a witch when its forbidden? I get that

kinda wish she had more Victorian elements.

3. Frankie

NONBINARY ICON LETS GOOOOO

I love their neon vibe a lot more; it fits the idea of lightning, electicity, etc.

THEIR LIMBS SHOW BONES

The head shave = 😍

Literally I love them. They're perfect.

Edit: I forgot to point out that I also like her new blue skin. Everyone’s hating it, but skin technically turns blue when it’s cold and dead, not green. So I am liking the blue.

4. Deuce

I love the actual snake skin and teeth they gave him. The snakeskin jacket is also a nice touch

HE GOT TWO MOMMAS ALRIGHT (Medusa and Lyra)

Only wish they gave him piercings or something; as im typing this I just realized they missed the chance to give him snakebites #wastedopportunity

5. Cleo

A literal QUEEN

I am LOVING her darker skin, and the golden highlights? Go offfff

SHE JUST LOOKS MORE EGYPTIAN

THE EYELINERRRRR

All her little beetle friends are so cute :)

She is beauty. She is Grace. She is CLEO DE NILE, BITCHESSSS.

6. Lagoona

Everyone is hating on her new look but...I like it?

I'm loving the mermaid vibes. The pastels, the pearls, the starfish earrings...

The bigger webbed ears are so cute

She got new parents and new ethnicity but me dont care

dont really have any problems with her new look; I love the vibes she gives so im satisfied.

7. Heath

He's the only one I dont really like; its more firey than his old one but a little bland

Son of Hades is pretty sweet tho

I like the fact that he has outbursts and gets worked up over little things; honestly relatable

All in all, I like it a little, but I feel like they REALLY could've done better with his design.

8. Torelai

Again with the fur and nose! Love!!

I love the purple in her outfit, it goes so nicely with the red

The hairrrrrrrr 😍

THE EYEBROW SLIT

I NEED that claw mark choker its so cute

comes from an elite family but is a bad girl who wants to preserve monster society? UH YES

Shes giving me Sam manson vibes

I honestly like this new Torelai; I just know shes once again gonna be iconic

9. Headmistress Bloodgood

GIRLBOSS GIRLBOSS GIRLBOSS

I am seriously LOVING her new look

Her horseshoe belt and brooch are really clever. And the ax/scythe earrings? YES

SHE JUST LOOKS SO EPIC

All in all, I'm a fan of their new looks (except Heath, sorry bud) and I cant wait for the new series!

[marzybarzyz]

Sup bitchessss, yeah I’m here from twitter too. Idk what to post here so I’m just going with a cool pic I made of Cordie from the animated series “Cliffside” by LiamVickersAnimation

[writingtheafterglow]

Under The Mistletoe

(Part Two -> Not Hot )

Warnings: angst, drinking (all are 18, they're in England obviously so they can all drink, lmfao), swearing, suggestive, some sensitive topics (like insecurities), and Tom being an asshole 90% of the time.

Summary: Y/N and her friends attend a party but, it's there that she finds out the ugly truth about her friendship.

a/n: This chapter is kind of sad? It's the second chapter and there's already angst, I know but, hey...It'll get better...maybe. Anywho, enjoy bitchessss!!!!!

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"You're wearing it." Leigh Anne tells me. She was currently holding up a pink bra top and a black leather mini skirt. Perrie was eyeing a pair of black boots (with high ass heels on them), I'm assuming to go with Leigh's horrid outfit. We were at the shopping mall picking out party outfits. Oh, did I not mention who's party? Fucking Tom's. He asked us to come yesterday and, of course, the girls said yes...

"Hey ladies...oh and Y/N" He greets. Okay...what the fuck?!

"So I'm having an early Christmas party at my place, do you guys want to come?" By "Christmas Party" he must mean a regular party, with a few shirtless Santa's.

"No"

"Yes" Me and the girls say at the same time. Pez and Leigh turn and glare at me before turning back to Tom.

"Yes, we will be there." Leigh tells him.

"Great. See you there, cuties...oh and you two Y/N." I sarcastically laugh before giving him the middle finger.

And now here we are. They're trying to make me look like a fucking malibu barbie. I'd rather not.

"No, Leigh. One, it's gonna be cold as fuck, and Two, I don't have the body for that." I say before turning back to the shirt rack.

"Are you kidding me right now?! Y/N/N you're hot as hell!!! You need to show off that body you have more often because, girl, it's even got me hypnotized." Leigh encourages with a smirk. I giggle and turn to her.

"You're just saying that." Looking down at my feet, I start feeling out of place. Perrie and Leigh are gorgeous, could be models, and I'm just...me. Why can't I look like them?

"No y/n she's not. Holy shit you do have the body for it, maybe even more. Even Holland wanted to tap that yesterday." Perrie adds. I almost throw up at that last sentence. Tom? Yeah hell no.

"Okay, Pez, I beg you to never talk about Tom Holland and Sex in the same sentence ever again." Lord, I was cringing at the thought. I go back to flipping through shirts.

"Oh come on, you know we're right." Leigh teases. I glare at them before my eyes meet a silk red tank top. It was flowy and didn't look too revealing but, it still showed off some skin. I can feel my best friend's gazes land on it as well.

"Leigh Anne, go put those back...I think she found something good." Perrie directs in excitement. She wasn't wrong actually, I think I've found something to wear to that little fuckers party.

And you know what...I'm going to look hot as fuck....

❆ ❆ ❆

My leather jacket was zipped as we pulled up to the Holland's house. Snow covered the front of the house and it looks like Mrs. Holland really decorated the front of the house a lot this year. To be fair, I haven't actually been here in forever. Perrie caught a stomach bug yesterday, don't know how, and she couldn't come with us today. So now it was just me and Leigh. I wasn't complaining though, at least I had her.

We linked arms and then walked through the door. As soon as we stepped inside, the smell of alcohol and musty teens hit our faces. I scanned the room to see where Tom was at, to avoid him of course. Also looking for Liam. All of the sudden a familiar blonde-haired boy steps in front of us. I was correct, he was wearing nothing but red trousers and a Santa hat.

"Leigh Anne, hey. Where's Perrie?" Harrison asks. Are you kidding me? He seriously only greeted Leigh? I've known him for years, for fucks sake.

"Hey Haz, she caught a stomach bug and had to stay home but, don't worry, y/n's here" Leigh responded, shaking my shoulders. Harrison turns to me then looks me up and down.

"Oh sorry y/n, didn't see you there but, hey, you look good." He tells me with a sorry smile. I roll my eyes before making my way over to the kitchen to get a drink. I push past a group of girls grinding on each other and a couple about to fuck each other on the table before I get to the kitchen. Grabbing a red cup, I begin to fill it up to the brim with vodka. Was I about to get hella drunk? Yes. Did I care? No.

All I wanted to do was forget about Harrison, forget about Tom, even forget about Perrie and Leigh Anne for a moment. I just needed a break, and what better way to get that than drinking my problems away? Before the cup could touch my lips, a hand appears and takes it away from me.

"No, no, no, y/n/n. You should not be drinking this much. You're gonna end up fucking a random stranger by the end of the night." Tom says before pouring it all out. What a fucking waste of vodka, good vodka too.

"Um excuse me? Who the hell do you think you are? You can't tell me how much I can or can't drink. And why do you care if I hook up with a stranger, huh?" I'm almost screaming. Seriously though, who does he think he is?

"Sorry, I'm just looking out for you. I do care you know...we were best friends remember?" The AUDACITY of this boy.

"Okay first of all, just cause you "care" doesn't mean you get to dictate my fucking actions, Thomas. Second, you're right, we were friends. Not anymore, so get the fuck away from me." I reply all in one breath.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. But before I go can I ask you something?"

"What?!" I say throwing my hands up in frustration.

"Can I get Leigh Anne's number?" He smirks. Alright, that's it! I push him up against the sink and get closer to him.

"What. The. Actual. Fuck?! NO, YOU CAN'T! WANNA KNOW WHY?! BECAUSE YOU'RE AN IDIOT FUCKBOY WHO THINKS EVERY GIRL WANT'S HIM. WELL, NEWS FLASH, NOT ALL OF THEM DO!!!" I yell at him, all while slapping his chest. He looks taken back by my actions and to be honest I am too. I have zero clue where all of that came from but, oh well.

"Chill, y/n/n...I was just joking." Tom raises his hands up in defense.

"I could care less. You know if you want it, then go ask her, I'm done being your fucking carrier pigeon. God damn. You know for once I would like a guy to ask about me." I say, tears filling my eyes.

"You do realize why guys don't, right?" Tom says, taking a sip from his cup.

"Why? And don't you dare say anything dick-ish." I ask, pointing at him warningly.

"Well it's because you're kind of like the...how do I put this...approachable one..." He covers his chest, bracing himself for me to hit him again.

"What does that mean?" I asked, anger boiling up again.

"Okay so...don't take this the wrong way but...you're kind of the...not so pretty best friend...the one not a lot of guys want...the one guys can talk to...about you're two hot best friends." He says. It was like I just got punched in the face. I felt a tear roll down my face and without even thinking I slap his drink out of his hands and run out of the kitchen.

I hear him calling my name but, I don't turn around. It all makes sense now. Why guys never ask me out, never talk to me about me, never ask Pez or Leigh about me. It's all because I'm...ugly? I knew it. From the start.

My two best friends were hot...and I...was not...

Taglist & Mutuals: @supraveng @getreeljas @allthisfortommy @namoreno @inthecornerchair @bubb1eana1ee @alwaaaysadream @wildxwidow @gbaabyyyy @wanniiieeee @tom-softie @thirlwallsholland @perspectiive @starksview @mn-jun @quacksonhq @isimpforeveryone @darling-im-moonstruck @lillytallis @l-a-u-r-e-n @lharrietg @organicpurplepants @badass-yn @thenoddingbunny-blog @dreamyyholland24 @big-galaxy-chaos @sweetpeterparker @spideysimpossiblegirl

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{ ©️ - spideymix 2021 }

[teenageheartthrob]

Hi, um, when are you going to add to Final Exit? The Marvel Stucky x reader one. I was left on a cliffhanger

First of all, wow. Thank you to everyone who’s even bothered to read the series, I never thought it would be so popular. This was just a place to dump all the crazy ideas in my head 😅

Secondly, I know it’s been a while and I’m so sorry! I had some interruptions there for a while but I want you all to know it’s coming.

I’m working on it at the moment and it’s the next thing I’m publishing. I think I’m just over halfway through so please bear with me :/ Should be out next week sometime!

SCRATCH EVERYTHING PART 4 IS OUT NOW BITCHESSSS

Sorry again and peace and love to you all ☀️🌱

P.S remember to drink water

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

A chatty writing update | novels, short fiction, etc!

Hi folks!

It’s been a while since I last wrote an update on this blog! I thought it’d be fun to go back to basics, and just talk about writing. This post chats about: new plans for Feeding Habits, my newest novel, my short story goals & growing collection, along with process reflections.

(image description: a photo of green leaves with the text “writing update” in a white font written on top. /end image description)

Post starts under the cut!

General taglist (please ask to be added or removed)

@if-one-of-us-falls, @qatarcookie, @chloeswords, @alicewestwater, @laughtracksonata, @shylawrites, @ev–writes, @jaydewritesfiction, @jennawritesstories @eowynandfaramir, @august-iswriting, @aetherwrites, @avakrahn, @maisulli

What have I been up to?

For starters, I finished my second year of my Writing undergrad last week and got two of my final grades back today (A+ baby)! For anyone who has taken online university, y’all already KNOW, but this year was so difficult. Would not recommend! Really proud of myself to have gotten through this absolute rollercoaster of a school term and am excited to get into some writing. That leads us to:

What have I been up to (writing edition)?

2021 started off so fast. By the time January hit, I was so consumed in my new semester that I did not have time to write Feeding Habits (my novel). In the first few days of the term, I managed to write between class, until I could no longer keep up! Essentially, I did not write any of that novel until exam season (last week), where I did manage to get in about 3k words in ~4 days.

Feeding Habits

I’m currently drafting what I believe will be the last chapter of this book (chapter 10: Swan Song). This chapter is so bizarre for a few reasons. It begins the book’s third part and also marks the shift back into Lonan’s head from Harrison’s. I originally thought this part would be much, much longer, with at least another five chapters to go, but quickly realized the book’s content was nearly completed. In my 4 day 3k palooza, I hit 50k in the book (the word count goal), and couldn’t see myself extending past 60k. Since then, I’ve made the loose decision to write this final chapter as a ~novella. Here are a few reasons why:

1. This chapter is structurally very strange.

I unashamedly shift from present to past to present to past past, and so much more every 12 words. I mapped out the timeline on a sheet of paper, and there were over 20 shifts in scenes (the chapter is only about 4400 words at the moment). The fictive past is incredibly important to this chapter, more important than the present, and I thought it would make more sense to not break randomly for a chapter so I could upkeep the consistent inconsistency of the chapter.

2. The chapter is very abstract

This stems from the structural changes, but there are paragraphs in this chapter of the fictive present that are loosely based in reality. They’re more poems than they are factual paragraphs, and keeping them all contained in one place (so a mega chapter/ novella) would reduce the most confusion!

3. There’s not much left to cover

Like I said above, Feeding Habits is on its last leg, lol! I know exactly where the book needs to end up, which is very, very soon from where I’m currently at on the timeline. Swan Song should cover what 2-4 chapters would cover in terms of arcs.

Feeding Habits and I have a really weird relationship, tbh! When I realized a few weeks ago that it’d been over a year since I started the book, I realized I just needed to finish it. Not that I want to rush (because I’ve taken longer than a year to write a book in the past), but that in order to move onto another project, I’d like to put this one behind first. This book has been the hardest thing I’ve ever written, and has reminded me there’s always a time to let go. This sort of scrounges up a conversation about letting this entire series go, which is certainly something I’ve been contemplating doing soon(ish). If this spinoff series gets a third book, that may or may not be the last Fostered book for a very long time (or ever)! There are many complex reasons to move on, but the main one is that I have other projects I’d like to focus on. This is not a definitive decision, but something I’ve certainly been thinking about!

Here are a few excerpts I wrote recently:

(TW: death, gore)

Dying feels like being a trout dangled out of water. Clinging to a hook. Mouth open. Scales iridescent in a final death cry. It’s like blood spurting up the knuckles, drowning out the flesh. It’s that moment on the long fall down when the clouds cup the body. Easy drifting. The sound a skull makes when it cracks is really just the afterthought.

(TW: death, gore)

Kill shot. Death blow. Coup de grace. Right in the heart. He feels it. The blood swelling, slicking his palms. He can do it. Reach into the cavity. Feel for the ribs. Part each bone. Then cup the humming heart. Stay there. Right. It’s never been easier.

Look at this PURE moment of Lonan holding a baby I CANNOT:

The grocery store was a fifteen-minute walk away. With Olivia clinging to his shoulder, Lonan was acutely aware that she could feel his heartbeat. Open valve. Close. Repeat. Hers pulsed right above his, a miniature drumming. The sky had bruised purple, misted with clouds. The evening air nipped his cheeks, so he made sure Olivia was securely fastened between him and his jacket. With wide eyes, she absorbed the drowsy suburbia, all its family cars pulling into driveways, all its couples heading back home after a sunset walk. When Lonan passed a young boy walking two golden retrievers, Olivia giggled, and didn’t stop, even after he’d spent fifty dollars on groceries and nearly the rest on a red Corolla marked with a MUST GO NOW sign outside a convenience store.

Let’s move on!

Mandy and Cora

I said I wouldn’t talk too much about this project, but I just love it so much?? I wanted to share my SUPER early thoughts on drafting a novel, especially one that is SO different from what I’ve been writing recently. I talked about this before in THIS post, but the summary about this project is that it’s a YA contemporary novel! Can’t believe I’m writing YA again, it’s been so long, but I also think it’s going so well. Everything I’ve learned as a literary fiction writer has been a fantastic primer for transferring back to the genre. Admittedly, I have not written much, but I’m having a lot of fun diving back into a lighter project. This is the summary:

Cora and Mandy are identical twins who’ve always done everything together. But when Mandy decides to go to university out of province after graduation and Cora doesn’t, Cora takes this as an opportunity to “test run” life apart from her sister for the first time by spending the summer at her aunt’s house across the country.

I have come up with a few ~things since I last talked about this project, mostly how I’d like to structure it. As of now, I’d like the book to be structured super loosely. I’m really pulling on a lot of inspo from “We Are Okay” by Nina LaCour (which is SO good), particularly how “nothing happens-y” that book is. This project (which I still need a title for!!) will be structured in short chapters that cover something Cora does on her own for the first time (without Mandy). For example, a few ideas are “Flight”, “Lunch”, and “Groceries”. “Flight” is the first “chapter” (they’re really kind of vignettes) where Cora flies to her aunt’s house. I still can’t determine if this book will take place in Canada. On one hand, I feel like there will be a wider audience if it takes place in the US (is that just an assumption??? maybe?? someone let me know!), but also: don’t really care too much about an audience at the moment! It could also take place in Canada (So Ontario and British Columbia). But if it does take place in the US, I think it may take place in NYC and San Francisco. The problem is: I really don’t like researching lol, and while I’ve been to NYC many times, I will definitely write it wrong! Does this really matter on a first draft?? absolutely not lol, but of course I am already overthinking!

But back to structure: I am looking forward to seeing what this looser structure will do. This is a story that is solely around one half of a set of twins learning to be her own person (and ultimately that she doesn’t have to completely forget her sister in order to do that), and as a twin who KNOWS this feeling, I think this structure of her doing things for the first time is SUPER relatable.

I was worried it might sound silly/worrying to others who are not twins that Cora hadn’t done things like “lunch” or “groceries” on her own, but I feel this so much as an identical twin myself! Not that she hasn’t done anything at all by herself, but as a twin, when you do something without your twin for the first few times, at least in my experience, you notice. If any twins are reading this--weigh in!

This story is the most personal thing I’ve ever written. It definitely is an OwnVoices book! Usually, I avoid details that are remotely similar to me because they make me uncomfortable haha, but with this book, it’s all me, lol! The characters are all Guyanese, which is SO fun because I’ve been planning what they eat (my fellow Caribbean peeps know: the FOOD!), which is so fun (yes they have pumpkin and shrimp, yes they have roti, yes they have pera, yes they have mithai). Every time I’ve gone to dabble at this book, or even think about it, I get incredibly emotional for this reason? I don’t exactly know why. I think this is a story I just so want to tell, with the culture I love SO much that I definitely struggled to love as a child. This is reclamation bitchessss!

Not going to lie tho: the prospect of writing ~a book~ is kind of freaky! I’m going to make the minimum word count for this book pretty short (50k) and see where it goes from there. I think I will focus on this project this summer! Originally I was going to write a literary novel this summer, but I think this one’s calling my name!

Here’s a pretty rough excerpt:

Try. I remind myself that’s what I’m doing after the flight attendant fills me a disposable cup of Coca Cola and all I can think of is Mandy and I shoving Mentos into a bottle of the stuff when we were twelve. Just me, wedged in the middle seat between an exchange student heading out for summer break and a middle-aged woman sipping a cocktail, thinking of Mandy and I bursting whole oranges in a blender when we were bored one Winter break as the plane dips through a wave of turbulence. Mandy and I dying our hair neon green with highlighters (didn’t work—our hair is too dark) as the plane lands on the tarmac. Mandy and I arguing so loud last month, we both lost our voices as I lug my carry-on out of the overhead compartment and shuffle off the plane and through the airport, searching for Aunt Vel.

Short Fiction

I’ve written so much short fiction this year! I have a goal to write a short story a month (they can range in length, as long as 1 is “complete”), so my short story brain has seriously been soaking it all up lately. Let’s chat my month to month breakdown so far:

January:

I wrote four stories in January! The first is a flash fiction piece called “Shark Swimming” that follows a young woman who attends a shark swimming class after breaking up with her girlfriend. I wrote this story for a “test” workshop for my fiction class, and it was based off the prompt “think about something you’re afraid to do and make the character do that thing”. I’m not particularly afraid of sharks, but had been wanting to use the title “Shark Swimming” for AGES (literally since 2018).

This story is one of my favourites. It’s only about 900 words, but I think there’s something profound in how mundanely specific it is. The entire story doesn’t even see the narrator swim with sharks once; it actually takes place fully in the sanctuary’s lobby. But I really love this narrator. This is the first story I’ve written in second person in a while, though I felt really connected to the unnamed narrator. She struggles with accepting that she truly is a “boring” person, and there’s something about the final image that really gets me!

I’ve been submitting this around, though it’s been rejected a handful of times. Hoping I can secure it at a magazine one day because I really love it!

The second story is “Joanne, I’ll Pray for You” which is actually a rewrite of one of my very first short stories (the first story I did not write for a class haha), “NYC in Your Apartment”. I LOVE this rewrite a lot, and also learned the original is not a very good short story! Revising this story taught me just how much I’ve learned in the 2 years I’ve been writing short fiction. Seeing the 2019 version versus the 2021 version side by side is fascinating because I essentially “gutted’ the 2019 version of its beginning and end until all that was left was the middle of the story (aka the actual story). AKA: this is the only story I’ve ever written with a hopeful ending and I cut out all the happy bits lol I am SO sorry (that arc is more for a novel or novella). That’s how this went from a 5k word story to an 1800 word story (my Submittable thanks me for this lol). A lot of details and scenes I included were more pertinent to a 3 act structure/novel, which of course short stories don’t often have because of their brevity. I love rambling about writing theory, and seeing that actually pay off is so fascinating!

(TW: trauma)

Like the original, this story follows Joanne, a woman in her early twenties, who spontaneously breaks up with her boyfriend. She claims the poltergeist haunting her drove her to this decision. The original draft focused a lot more on the traumatic events Joanne survives, but this draft really loosens them up. It focuses less so on the events themselves, and more on how Joanne’s life is affected. I found the details of these events were less important, and even sort of contradicted Joanne’s insistence she is being haunted. Instead, the poltergeist really takes more precedence in the new draft as a force Joanne doesn’t understand. That ambiguity, I think, is what the story truly needed.

I also centralized Joanne’s relationship with her boyfriend, Julian, here. Now don’t get me wrong, I really didn’t add anything to this draft. It was a matter of trimming the fat around it to leave the lean “meat” in the centre. But by removing that fat, I was able to emphasize what was most important here, and that was her relationship. Julian always played a really big role in the original draft, but I feel like his role as both a friend and partner to Joanne is much more emphasized since this draft literally is only two scenes now. Because there is less, there is more room for Joanne to reflect, which I’m happy about!

A final change I made was the setting and therefore the title. The original, which was “NYC in Your Apartment,” I couldn’t keep because I shifted the setting to Toronto (this is how I originally saw it, but in 2019 I just?? couldn’t?? write?? canlit??), and “Toronto in Your Apartment” sounded sort of gross LOL. The new title comes from a line in the story which I think is more relevant to the themes!

The next short story I wrote in January was “How to Spell Alpaca.” This one is super fun because I wrote it SO fast (in about 15 minutes or so). THIS is the writing update if you’re interested in learning more. I talked extensively about this one in that update, but some developments are that I dove into an edit a few weeks ago to really understand the core of the story. I’m still not quite there (this is just an intuitive feeling; I know not everything has “clicked), but I am really intrigued by the two mothers in the story, the narrator, and her newfound acquaintance, Violet. Both really struggle to understand their place as mothers (the narrator even declares she isn’t a mother anymore). The narrator, who is in her 50s, sees herself in Violet, who is much younger (~20s), and so she views Violet’s relationship with her daughter in a cautionary, yet mournful way, like she can see it will end up like her own relationship with her daughter, despite wanting the opposite. This is a really subtle story. I feel like if you blink, you’ll miss the message. But I think it’s compelling for that reason. It’s really a portrait of parenting and how to grapple with mistakes you may make that inevitably affect your children. Wow just unlocked the theme writing this lol.

The final story I wrote in January is “The Party,” which may be in my top 3 faves I’ve ever written. This story follows Aida, a recent divorcee in her ~40s. The day her divorce turns official, she moves into a new house and receives a party invitation addressed to the previous homeowner, yet RSVP’s anyway. At this party, she’s hoping to find some sense of noticeability, having struggled with being nondescript her whole life. Things seem quite normal at the party, until it gets bizarre.

I LOVE this story, y’all. Like “How to Spell Alpaca” it really delves into motherhood. Aida, our narrator, is incredibly hurt after her divorce. She now lives farther from her children she struggled to feel connected to in the first place, and doesn’t really know how to reignite her life. This party is a means to do that. This is the first story I’ve written that contains a “twist” which is strange because I really prefer stories that give us as much info as possible upfront, but yes, this one sort of twists.

February

I wrote one story in February, and that was “Protect the Young.” This title is SO changing when I think of a new one because it’s thematically incorrect, haha, but this story follows a woman in her late 40s whose daughter, Lindy, announces she is married the same day all their backyard chickens turn up dead. The discovery of dead chickens prompts our narrator to recall her ex-husband’s murder and the role her daughter may have played in his death.

I love this story so much! I think this would make a great closing for my short story collection. It just has that vibe! I wrote this for my second fiction workshop. I thought I had to hand in the story a week earlier than I had to, so I panicked and wrote this in one sitting! Little did I know, I did not need to do that lol but I’m very happy because this story is so fun. We get to learn more about Arnold (her ex), his relationship with Lindy, and how that translates to Lindy’s relationship with her new husband, Malcolm. I LOVE true crime (I listen to about 3-4 hours of case coverage daily), and this is my first “true crime” story. Because of that, I’m very sus of a few details that probably wouldn’t slide in actual investigatory work, so I’ll also be working on that in a revision. My professor also gave me a great suggestion that may alter the story’s structure a bit, though I look forward to toggling with it in the future.

March

In March, I was really on a Criminal Minds kick lol. I’ve been watching this show since I was seven (oops), and dove into a rewatch since it hit Disney+! This story, “Where to Run When the Lamb Roars,” is very clearly Rachel watching 5 episodes of CM a day. Oops! We follow 14-year-old Astrid as she and her older half brother kidnap a young girl to sacrifice for their yearly ritual.

I knew a few things going into this story, but the main thing was that I did NOT want to show any details of a potential murder (if one even occurs). I really wanted to keep all of those elements off the page because this story is not about those events, but about Astrid’s relationship with her brother. They are a murderous duo, with Astrid actually being the dominant partner. I wanted to explore that. I knew her brother, Fox, was more of a submissive partner in their team, even when he used to do this same thing with his father when he was much younger (chilling!), and so it was a task to explore how this young girl’s desire for violence works. The end actually comes right before the story starts, one could say, but I like it for this reason. It really made me contemplate the story by the time I finished it, and helped me examine what it really was about versus what it appeared to be about.

April

(TW: sexual content, non explicit)

I was so busy this month! Who knows if I’ll write a story last minute, but I did write one story this month called “Five Times Fast.” I wrote this during a “writing sprint” that was being hosted at a flash fiction workshop I recently took with one of my favourite writers ever, K-Ming Chang. I learned so much from this class, and am so happy I came out of it with a draft! This story is just over 300 words, so the shortest flash I’ve ever written, but I’m really happy with it. It was based off the prompt “describe the last time you or your character was naked.” In this case, the narrator has a “friends with benefits” relationship with Ricky who works at a laundromat. This story highlights a moment in this relationship (and also Ricky’s goofy personality lol). I really like it! Hopefully I’ll submit it to some magazines soon.

My short story collection

Very briefly I wanted to touch on my short story collection which I’ve titled “She is Also Dead.” I’ve been meaning to make a blog post on this, so look out for that in the coming months, but this collection is already at around 35k words (about 14 stories so far). The collection also surprisingly has a solid amount of flash fiction which is kind of fun! There’s definitely a range here, which is what I personally love in short story collections.

I feel very professional now that I have a ~collection chart. This is her:

(image description: A chart with the title “She is Also Dead.” It is broken into four columns: Story, Status, Word Count, and Published. Entry 1 - Story: Slaughter the Animal. Status: Revisions, Word Count, 3982, Published: N/A. Entry 2 - Story: Joanne, I’ll Pray for You, Status: Polished, Word Count: 1809, Published: N/A. Entry 3 - Story: Primary Organs, Status: Published, Word Count: 2342, Published: The Malahat Review. Entry 4 - Story: Faberge, Status, Polished, Word Count: 619, Published: N/A. Entry 5 - Story: The Wolf-Antelope Will Not Come for Us, Status, Polished, Word Count: 1556, Published: filling Station (forthcoming). Entry 6 - Story: How to Spell Alpaca, Status: revisions, Word Count: 1327, Published: N/A. Entry 7 - Story: Blink Twice for Final Judgement, Status: Polished, Word Count: 6572, Published: N/A. Entry 8 - Story: The Species is Dead, Status: Published, Word Count: 1208, Published: Minola Review. Entry 9 - Story: Shark Swimming, Status: Polished, Word Count: 907, Published: N/A. Entry 10 - Story: The Party, Status, Polished, Word Count 2339, Published: N/A. Entry 11 - Story: Fig, Status: Polished, Word Counter: 947, Published: N/A. Entry 12 - Story: Protect the Young, Status: Revisions, Word Count: 4128, Published: N/A. Entry 13 - Story: Where to Run When the Lamb Roars, Status: Revisions, Word Count: 2174, Published: N/A. Entry 14 - Story: Phantom Limbs, Status: Revisions, Word Count: 4844, Published: N/A.) /end image description.

This order is DEFINITELY not permanent (at this point whenever I write a story, I just fit it randomly into this chart lol), and some of the info is outdated (for example, Slaughter the Animal is now polished!!! thank god!!!). But just an idea of what I’m thinking of including.

This is the summary so far:

In SHE IS ALSO DEAD, characters are pushed to act on their gravest impulses. A small town turns murderous when their local invasive species, the Janices, begin dying. A child struggles to understand her mother’s suicide. A college dropout who insists she’s being haunted by a poltergeist unexpectedly breaks up with her boyfriend. A mother acknowledges her daughter’s murderous tendencies after her backyard chickens mysteriously die. A young girl caters the funeral of a girl rumored to be killed by a wolf-antelope. A newly-divorced mother RSVP’s to a bizarre party she was not invited to, and a murderous brother and sister upkeep their yearly tradition of abducting a young girl. These stories follow characters who navigate death, violent desires, womanhood, and loss, both self-imposed and otherwise.

This is also so subject to change as I may pull and add stories to the collection!

I think I’m going to leave this update here for now! I’ve written TONS of poetry too, but I honestly ~hate my poetry right now lol, so! Hope you enjoyed this chill rambly update. Hope writing has going well for you all! All the best!

--Rachel

[forever-is-made-of-nows]

I'll bet you 10$ that the final scene of the prequel series (if it gets picked up for the seasons jroth wants) will be the drop ship landing...quiet...and then.."WE'RE BACK BITCHESSSS"

[yourperfectflaws]

HYDRA’s Pet ; 04

Pairing: James Bunchan Barnes x HYDRA!Reader, Avengers x Reader (Platonic/ Familial)

Series Summary: As HYDRA’s favorite experiment, you were trained to follow orders perfectly. But, when you’re taken from the only home you’d ever known by the Avengers, you find yourself more lost than ever. However, out of all the things that could have happened to you, you’d never expected him to be one of them.

Chapter Summary: Your sexy ass is flown to Wakanda to meet T’challa’s genius sister, Shuri. 

Warnings: Two panic attacks, uhhhh mentions of violence and rape... and the word Hell

Word Count: 3.1k

Author’s Note: Here he comes bitchessss (I listened to Emo Boy by Ayesha Erotica while writing this btw) HE’S FINALLY HEREEEE!!!! Also, the reader says something in Russian, which is in italics, so note that she’s not saying it harder, she’s saying it in another language. 

Prologue // Previous Chapter // Next Chapter (Coming Soon!)

January 18th, 2017 ; Wakanda

When you entered the ship, it was unlike anything you had ever seen before. It looked like it came out of a different dimension. Plus, the seats were so soft you felt like you were about to melt right into them. You looked up to see T’challa taking a seat in front of you. “Okoye, let’s go.”

Soon, you were in the air and along with the whir of the engine, you could hear your frantic heartbeat in your ears. You clung to the seat while trying to focus on your breathing. All the things that have happened to you within the past two days seemed to cause you to forget your fear of flying.  

It seemed the King noticed your distress because he sat next to you at placed a comforting hand on your shoulder. He started speaking to you in a deliberately calming voice. If it were anyone else, you would have blown up at them for talking to you like a child but there was something about the King that put you at ease.  

After a while you calmed down enough to hold a steady conversation. “I like your clothses,” you complimented, noticing the gold detailing around the collar. He chuckled lightly.  

“Thank you, it’s called a dashiki,” he said while smoothing down any imaginary wrinkles. You repeated the word under your breath, staring at the patterned shirt. He regarded you with a humorous glint in his eyes. “Would you like a pair?”

You nodded slightly. He laughed and scratched his forehead. You noticed how clean and smooth his skin was. He must take really good care of himself. Again, you felt a bubble of jealousy pop within your chest. Though, it didn’t make you angry. In fact, you didn’t even hesitate to compliment him, saying, “You are very handsome.” You gestured to him with your cuffed hands. His eyes widened and he gave you a nervous laugh.  

“We’re almost there, my King.” You heard a feminine voice from the cockpit call to T’challa. He stood and made his way to the cockpit. Not wanting to be alone, you carefully moved in the middle of the two seats and gazed out at the forest below.

“This is the best part.” T’challa smiled, watching as Okoye flew the ship dangerously close to the trees. Your stomach rolled.  

“We will crash!” You clutched the seat in front of you, knuckles turning white. If the collar wasn’t still on your neck, then the seat would have bent under your force.  

They both laughed and continued. And you soon saw why.  

Instead of crashing into the forest floor, it was as if there was a screen in front of you that glitched. Suddenly, there wasn’t a forest anymore. You stood there in awe at the sight in front of you. The futuristic buildings gleamed under the luminous sun, making the entire city glow with a warm, yellow light.  

You steadied yourself against the co-pilot's chair as Okoye brought the ship down onto a large landing pad in front of a gleaming building.  

As soon as you stepped foot outside of the ship, you were hit with a wave of relief. It felt good to be out of there and on solid ground. The King sent Okoye to do something you didn’t catch— you were watching a young woman speed walk up to the two of you.  

She bowed to T’challa extravagantly. “Your majesty.”

“Ah, stop that.” He swats his hand at her. “This is Y/n. She needs the algorithm you used on Barnes.”

You straightened your back, putting on a mask of confidence as he introduced you. The woman turned to you and sized you up, a delicious grin spreading across her lips. “What up? I’m Shuri, I’m nineteen, and I never fucking learned how to read.”

This caused T’challa to scold her for her language— even though you didn’t know what part of her introduction was wrong— and lying about her age. You assumed she was younger than what she said— she definitely appeared to be.  

Shuri began laughing, which to you sounded like bells, and crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m just having fun, brother, there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s not my fault you’re too old to understand that reference.”  

“I am sure she is older than I am,” T’challa responded, gesturing to you. He most likely received your file from the Avengers.  

Shuri gasped, placing a dramatic hand over her heart. “Don’t you know it’s rude to assume a woman’s age?”

“1953.” They both looked at you with confused expressions. Shuri seemed to be surprised by your voice. You probably had a strange accent, just like them. “I was born on 1953.”

“You’re more than sixty years old?” Shuri gaped at you, sizing you up again. “Jesus, woman, what’s your secret? How do you look so young?”  

“Shuri, we have a job to do remember?”

“No, I have a job to do.” She turned to her brother, who was staring at her with a deadpanned expression. She waved her hand at him before saying, “you just sit there looking pretty. Come on, let’s hurry.”

You followed the two of them into Shuri’s lab like some sort of lost puppy. For some reason, you felt a pang in your chest watching the two of them bicker playfully. It reminded you how deeply alone you were.  

You had nobody but Hydra for the longest time and now you don’t even have that. And although you had partners for missions and such, you never had anyone permanent in your life like the Commander was. But the relationship before you was nothing like the one you had with him. It was entirely different. There wasn’t one person having control over the other, they both just seemed at ease and comfortable. And you wanted that.  

Shuri stopped in her tracks, tearing you away from your train of thought. She held her arms out and smiled. “Welcome to my technological Disneyland.” She threw a pointed look at her brother. “Except I’m Walt Disney.”

“I never said I was taking you there, you just assumed.” He folded his arms over his chest, tilting his head at her. They began to bicker again as you observed the room below. You had never seen anything like it. The spiraling ramp around the thick pillar— filled with colorful artwork— was made entirely of lights that illuminated your boots as you walked. There were white display tables along the circular walls of the room, showing off invention after invention. Other people in white robes were working on projects along the tables.  

“You made this?” You asked, observing the gadgets in front of you.  

“Hell yeah I did!” She came up behind you and began demonstrating how one of them worked. You stared at her in awe.  

“You are very smart; I could never craft anything like these.”

She thanked you, throwing a smug grin at the King, who sighed.  

“We shouldn’t get off task, we’re here for a reason.”

Shuri waved him off. “Shhh, brother, let her continue.”  

“Shuri.”

“Ugh, fine, let’s go.” She linked her arm in yours and pulled you towards a door on the other side of the room. “Come on, Y/n, I want to show you more stuff I made.”

You walked with her, listening to her ramble on about all the technological advancements and upgrades she’d done within the past month. She led you down a hallway and into another room with similar design as her lab. The two of them walked ahead of you to set something up.  

As soon as you saw the pod, your heartbeat spiked and your stomach dropped down to your feet. You stopped in your tracks and stared at it with wide eyes. Images of the horrors you were subjected to within the Chamber flashed before your eyes. No. There was no way you were going back down.  

You didn’t realize you were walking backwards until you bumped into a work table and knocked over a few supplies. The two of them stopped speaking and turned around to look at you, confusion clear on their faces. “Y/n? Are you alright?” T’challa asked, taking a tentative step towards you. However, you backed up even more.  

“Hey, it’s okay. What’s wrong?”

You stared at them, fear in your eyes, and pleaded in a quiet voice. “Please... don’t... I am sorry.” Your knees gave out and you sunk to the floor, pushing yourself into the wall behind you. You felt hot tears race down your face and choked on them.  

They stared at you with pinched brows. You were cowering as T’challa stepped towards you, kneeling down to your level. “What do you mean?”

Your breathing was loud in your ears. “Please... don’t put me back in... I’ll be better...” You managed to say between gasps.  

“You don’t want to go in the pod?” You continued to hyperventilate, even after he placed a comforting hand on your shoulder. “Hey, breathe. You’re okay.” After coaxing you into controlling your breathing, he held out a firm hand for you to take, which you hesitantly did. Pulling you up, he regarded you with a look of pity. Which again, under normal circumstances you would have told him off. But you didn’t seem to care.  

“Want to talk about it?” You shook your head, finding the floor suddenly interesting. “Well, you’re going to have to go in the pod anyways. It’s the safest way for Shuri to reprogram your mind.”  

“But I did something wrong?”  

“No, no, you didn’t do anything wrong.”  

Shuri placed a hand on T’challa’s shoulder. “Brother, I think they used the pod as a punishment.” She moved around him, taking you gently by the hand. “Come on, Y/n, I’ll set you up with a screen.”  

You followed, hesitantly of course, as she led you to a secluded area where there was a flat cot that was somehow levitating. You stared at it as she called over a few assistants. She came back and instructed you to lay down, explaining that they were going to do the procedure on the cot instead of in the pod.  

As you laid down on the cold metal surface, you wondered what they would do to your mind. You watched as the assistants inserted the IV and gave you a dose of anesthetics. And as you nodded off, you thought of your Commander and what he would say if he saw where you were now.  

.  

Shuri watched you go under as she brought up the holograms, bringing them closer so she could see better. Her brother was in another room talking with the merchant tribe leader so he’d left the two of you alone.  

She watched for a moment as your chest rose and fell as you lay unconscious on the cot and she had to admit it was kinda surreal— when you walked in here you had either a frown on your lips or tears in your eyes. So, seeing with such a peaceful expression was uncharacteristic and strange.  

“Let’s have a look at your memories, shall we?” She said, more to herself than you, as she pulled up the program.  

She saw a tiny version of you playing around the base with a tall man, giggling as you danced to Russian music, and making snowmen outside. She saw them train you, build your body to become a weapon. She saw your fear when you made a mistake— something that wasn’t easily overlooked with Hydra— and were forced into a pod to live out nightmares. She saw the hundreds of missions you’d been on, some with a man she was quite familiar with, and the countless deaths you caused. And then she saw something else. That same man forcing himself on you made her sick to her stomach.  

“Shuri, how’s it coming?” At her brother’s sudden voice, she jumped and quickly changed the memory to something else. But this one was much more violent. She turned around to see her brother walking towards her with knitted eyebrows.  

“What’s wrong? Did you see something?”

“Just this,” she lied, gesturing to the gruesome image. She had a feeling you didn’t want anyone to know about when that man had done to you, especially a King. She didn’t know if you realized what he’d done was wrong or not so she’d have to be as much of a role model to you as she could.  

She watched as her brother examined the content on the screen, shaking his head. You were shooting up several children and the sight made her want to vomit. “What have they done to this poor woman...?”  

“They raised her, brother.” She pulled up the earliest memory she could find. It was of a toddler walking for the first time. The image pulled at her chest, begging for her aid but she knew she could do nothing for her. At least not then. Now, she was going to do everything she could to help you.  

“She was scared, brother, and I know you could see it, too.” She glanced at him, watching his lips draw a fine line. “Hydra was the only place she’d ever known. I’m not surprised to see any of this.”

“Well, we need to do the same thing for her that we did for Sargeant Barnes.” He stared down at your sleeping face. “She doesn’t know it but she needs help and I’m afraid we’re the only people who can give it to her.”

.  

The first thing you heard when you regained consciousness was the steady beat of the heart monitor. You squinted open your eyes to find yourself laying on the same cot with holographic screens around your head and chest.  

You sat up and held your head in your hands, feeling it spin nauseatingly. After the spinning subsided, you stood and walked around the pillar wall and into Shuri’s lab. You noticed her sitting on a stool and working on a project.  

“Shuri.” You called out for her and she turned to look at you with a light smile.  

“You’re awake.” She put the pliers she was holding down as you approached her. “How are you feeling?”

“Not sure...” You thought for a moment. You felt strange, that much was for sure, but it wasn’t a bad feeling. You felt at ease, like everything was finally coming together. “Calm? Peaceful... Is normal?”

“Well considering our other ex-HYDRA soldier who we performed this algorithm on had the same feelings, I guess that statement could be correct.” She cleared her throat and turned on her stool.  

“So, since you’re supposed to be here for ‘rehabilitation’ or whatever.” She made dramatic air quotes with her fingers. “I guess you’ve got two choices. You can either be put on the same program that Sargeant Barnes is on where you live on the outskirts of the city... or you could stay in the building where me and my brother sleep. It’s all up to you.”

You stared at her for a moment before asking her for a coin. She stared at you in confusion but pulled one from her pocket nonetheless. Since it was difficult for you to make decisions for yourself, you figured having a coin do the work for you would save you a lot of stress. Deeming heads for the outskirts and tails for the inner city, you flipped the coin and caught it, flipping it once more on the back of your hand. It was tails. Inner city it was, then.  

Then, you had a realization. “This Sargeant Barnes... can I meet him?”

“Sure, but why?”

“Maybe I know him.”

“Craving a familiar face, I see...” She thought for a moment before springing up from her stool. “Alright, let’s go, then.”  

She linked your arms and you walked with her through the city. She mentioned she’d take you on a tour through Wakanda once you were settled in. She brought you to a small rural settlement filled with children running about, playing with each other, and brought you to a thatched house in front of a glistening river.  

“Sargeant Barnes! I have someone I’d like you to meet!”  

Bucky came out from his hut and smiled when seeing Shuri. “Shuri, I told you to— “ But when he saw you behind her, he dropped what he was holding and took a short step back. “What is she doing here?”

Shuri looked quizzically between the two of you, him standing there with his arms crossed over his chest and you observing a frog that hopped onto the shore. “Huh? Oh, Y/n’s here for rehab. She wanted to meet you for some reason.”

The frog hopped back into the water and you stood up in disappointment. Turning to look at him, you were met with his steely blue eyes. They bore into your head with fierce intimidation and you couldn’t help but look away. You didn’t recognize him without his arm but there was something familiar about him.  

Noticing your reluctance, Bucky sighed and stepped closer to you and held out his hand. “Hi, I’m Bucky, nice to meet you.”

Your eyes widened and you stepped back. You recognized his voice. He was the Winter Soldier.  

He could tell you remembered him so he stepped back and held his hand up defensively, as if attempting to approach a wild animal. But you weren’t a wild animal... were you? You could hear your breathing in your ears, it rang inside your skull like alarm bells. Images and memories of your missions with him flashed before your eyes as you stared at him, unable to move. To run.  

“Y/n, Y/n!” Shuri called to you, breaking your frozen trance. She came between the two of you, staring firmly into your eyes. “You’re fine, he won’t hurt you. He was reprogrammed, too.”  

You steadied your breathing and stood up straight, regarding him dubiously. He hesitated before holding his hand out again for you to shake. You bit your lip before taking his hand, causing a soft smile to bloom across his rugged features. You figured that this could possibly be the start to a new friendship.  

...

Note: I’m sorry this fic took so long, I’ve been having troubles at home and haven’t had much time to sit down and write. I can’t guarantee that part 5 will be out soon either. But it will be out eventually. Patience is a virtue. 

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Have a great day and stay safe!

Comment or reblog if you would like to be tagged. 

Tags: 

@stressedandbandobessed7771 @elle-r @stuff-to-look-at-18r @numwoon44 @itsgonnabe-brian-may @veganfangirl5 @shame-or-same @thisismysideblogforfunstuff @allmyficsinoneplace @nyxestia @zombielab @serenitysammy @pretty-little-me-circus @iamaunicorn4704 @marvelousblogs @mya-lach @for-the-love-of-the-fandom @buckystories-3 @harryismyonlyangel @otvlanga @08fic-reader80

[biglesbianbella]

ok bitchessss we are starting life and death now because i've made it my mission to read every godforsaken book smeyer has written about this godforsaken series and liveblog it all because i have no ideas for original content ok

[streetsteel]

GET TO KNOW THE BLOGGER.

Can be used to get to know a bit about the person behind the screen!

1. FIRST NAME: You can call me Chief!

2. STRANGE FACT ABOUT YOURSELF: Uuuuh since I knew how to read at age 5, the kindergarten offered my mom to make me skip a year but we didn’t because she preferred me to be around kids of my age. 

3. TOP THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE ON A PERSON: Eyes, voice, idk does mouth count as one? (coming from someone who had braces i love me nice healthy teeth lmao)

4. A FOOD YOU COULD EAT FOREVER AND NOT GET BORED OF: cHEESE

5. A FOOD YOU HATE: i’m not a fan of veggies really it’s that dumb

6. GUILTY PLEASURE: GOING TO BED EARLY WHEN I CAN GOD THAT SLEEP THING IS SO GOOD

7. WHAT DO YOU SLEEP IN: Donald Ducking it with a tank top or a t-shirt 

8. SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS OR FLINGS: A committed fling buddy would be nice lmao

9. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN THE PAST AND CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOUR LIFE, WOULD YOU AND WHAT WOULD IT BE: mmmmmmmmmmaybe one but it’s about not slapping one person and slapping someone else

10. ARE YOU AN AFFECTIONATE PERSON: not physically, not much. 

11. A MOVIE YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN: LOTR uwu

12. FAVORITE BOOK: Under the Dome if we do single novel, HIs Dark Materials if we go trilogy uwu

13. YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO KEEP ANY ANIMAL AS A PET, WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE: HOW ABOUT A MURDER OF CROWS

14. TOP FIVE FICTIONAL SHIPS [IF YOU ARE AN RP BLOG, YOU CAN USE YOUR OWN SHIPS AS WELL]: OK THAT’S TOO MUCH OF A THOUGHT EXERCISE BUT HONESTLY TAKE A SECOND HERE TO THINK OF ALL THE PAIRINGS THAT MADE YOU HAPPY YOU FOUND COOL RP PARTNERS? YEAH. THOSE ARE MY FAVE. 

15. PIE OR CAKE: Cake uwu

16. FAVORITE SCENT: CAMPFIRE SMELL. Or the smell right after it rained. 

17. CELEBRITY CRUSH: hahahaha jason momoa is hot

18. IF YOU COULD TRAVEL ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO: honestly? just go to my aunt’s cabin by the lake. get lost in the woods. disappear in there. become the old crone people think is a witch and play along with it

19. INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT: Ambivert bitchessss

20. DO YOU SCARE EASILY: Yes?

21. IPHONE OR ANDROID: Android.

22. DO YOU PLAY ANY VIDEO GAMES: Yep! I got a lot of hours into the Borderlands series and the Witcher 3. 

23. DREAM JOB: Back in the day i would’ve said history teacher but right now? I’m not so sure anymore. 

24. WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH A MILLION DOLLARS: This sounds like a very uwu answer but pay my family’s debts and keep the rest for a cabin by a lake.

25. FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU HATE: Dolores Umbridge anyone?

26. FANDOM THAT YOU WERE ONCE A PART OF BUT AREN’T ANY LONGER: uuuh i used to be into SNK until suddenly we could see more and more parallels between the thing and really crappy shit lmao byeeee

TAGGED BY: @skulldxddy​ uwu 

TAGGING: you have a choice to either do the meme or do the meme (read with a more menacing tone) uwu

[darling-daydreaming]

IT 2: Thoughts and feelings

So uh,, spoilers ahead Bc obviously.

Things I LOVED:

Now I loved the whole movie but here’s just the things I was REALLY DIGGING

-All the actors?? They did SUCH a good job??? I love all of them!

-In the 1990 they made Ben go from a cutie to an older cutie but now they just made him a daddy-looking teddy bear and I LOVE IT

-The comedic duo that is Richie and Eddie Bc yES

-REDDIE IS CANON BITCHESSSS YESS. The whole time after I saw young Richie writing “R+” on the bride I was on the absolute edge of my seat going “R AND WHO. R AND WHOOOOOO”

-How everybody had their turn having their own moments and finding the artifacts. It’s usually always about Bev, Bill, rich, Ed and kind of Stan, with Mike and Ben being left in the background, but with this movie I’m happy that they gave all of them their moments to shine. It makes up for how upset I was with the first movie for giving Mike’s obsession with history to Ben (even though it didn’t carry on like, at all with the context of this movie)

-The puppy scene. That whole thing was fucking amazing.

-“Cut your mullet man, it’s been like 30 years”

-Eddie crashing his car after Mike calling him was so hilarious to me only because I 1000% see that as something I would do

-Every time Eddie said “Fuck” or some kind of variation of it.

-Stan’s letter at the end!! I loved it!

-Mike’s “I love you, man” made me go soft. I LIVE for platonic closeness like that. And the fact that Bill just smiled and said “I love you too” is honestly amazing. Just,, I love friendship like that. I wish Bev had been in more of that too like she was in the 1990 series. She kissed almost everyone’s cheeks and was overall really close and loving. She still is in IT 2 but I feel like it was toned down a bit here.

-all of the flashbacks Bc A) I love seeing my kids happy and B) reddie moments

-How absolutely in love Ben was with Beverly. He kept that page for 27 freaking years in his wallet. And even though she thought Bill was the one who wrote her the poem, Ben never once got angry at her or Bill about it but was still upset about it understandably. Ben in general is just such a sweetheart and I love him.

Now for things I didn’t enjoy as much:

-Bev and Bill kissing... just... why? She knows Bill has a wife doesn’t she? I doubt Bill would just forget to mention it after reconciling with his best friends after nearly 30 years without seeing them.

-Audra (or Audrey?? I can never remember). I really liked her in the 1990 series because of how much she loved Bill. She drove all the way to Derry because she was worried about him. And Bill loved her too! She has one scene in the new movie and it’s of her and Bill arguing. It’s as if they don’t even care about each other

- The ritual. The concept itself was fine but the execution of it just wasn’t really my favorite. Idk what it was about it but something about it just didn’t feel right and made it feel misplaced.

-Eddie’s “moments”. Eddie is a rage filled son of a bitch that WILL fight for his friends. So why did he just stand there the whole time? Yes in the first movie he was scared but he was a KID and by the end he got over it and rose to fight. So why did it take so long here?

[ohsuni]

ONEWE’S COMING BACK AUGUST 29

BITCH WHAT OH MY GOD I WAS LITERALLY JUST COMPLAINING ABOUT RBW'S PROMISE TO COMPLETE THE 1/4 SERIES ON TWITTER I DIDNT KNOW THANK YOU SO MUCH OH MY GOD, DROUGHT END BITCHESSSS

WHERES THE VIDEO OF BRETMAN ROCK SCREAMING YES WHEN YOU NEED IT

[staliasjeronica]

Riverdale 3.02 Thoughts *Spoilers*

- poor Archie... BUT OMG FALICE YESSSS “This feels right doesn’t it?” That’s because it is right ❤️❤️

- Bughead... is cuddling/probably had sex... in Dilton’s bunker? I don’t like kink shaming but uhhhhh their kink is... 😬😬😬

- YES MR. ANDREWS QUESTION EVERYTHING!!! Let Archie see his dad, his two friends have already abandoned him smh but if it’s been three weeks... Archie has been in isolation for three weeks? Bby 😭😭😭

- Awww, V... and although I’m still bitter about Betty being a total bitch and not apologizing to Veronica, I’m glad they’re friends again. Now we just need Jughead and Archie to do the same since it’s always just been the couples who hang out together. ALSO V has a dress code, and imagining Sweet Pea and Fangs in it makes me wanna cry mY SWEET PRECIOUS BABIES

- Jughead: “of course we’re calling it a speakeasy” ummm tf you mean??? That’s because it IS a speakeasy? Jughead is your random hate (or secret love) for Veronica showing? I can’t tell.

- JOSIE AND KEVIN. JOSIE AND KEVIN. JOSIE AND KEVIN. JOSIE AND KEVIN. JOSIE AND KEVIN. JOSIE AND KEVIN. JOSIE AND KEVIN. JOSIE AND KEVIN.

- 6-4-2 as the password for the speakeasy? I wonder if it means something. And if Stonewall was close enough... what is the actual password?

- REGGIE!!!! The speakeasy looks fucking amazing. I’m speechless!!! Also Veronica and Reggie bitchessss yeahhhhh!!!! If she hired Sweet Pea and Fangs to serve drinks I’ll scream because I love them with my whole being and if they can finally have a job that gives them money, then it’s different than doing crimes and ultimately a better situation for them. Plus I’ve done this in my Sweet Pea story so it’s cool to see me doing something right lolol but ooh mocktails that’s nice I’m glad we’re not gonna delve more into an unrealistic Riverdale

- VERONICA’S FACE AT REGGIE WHEN HE SAYS “NOT YET” IM

- AWWW JOSIE IS SO FUCKING CUTE (also Reggie we see that proud smile you cute fuck) SHE’S SO FUCKING HAPPY TO HAVE A PLACE TO FIND HERSELF AND HER SINGING. So hopefully we get apologies for what happened last season with the milkshake and horrible poster... STILL I can’t wait to see this friendship grow because it BETTER if she’s gonna be singing at La Bonne Nuit

- Kevin bby!!! “As long as I can sing every now and then” I fucking love this so much? It’s funny how this is muchhhhhhhh more exciting and entertaining than the stupid cult/farm story... probably because Betty isn’t a part of it (because we all been knew she’s injected into every fucking plot and it’s so annoying and unneeded)

- Penny... get the fuck out of here. Just... no. You came here looking to give her protection? Well then leave bc she has the Serpents ❤️❤️ they love her for giving them a safe haven now that her father took over The Whyte Wyrm. Also I just realized that they covered Penny’s Serpent decal on the back with a Ghoulie one... so they DO have a decal on the back of their coats or whatever but we have never seen them until now.

- NO JOAQUIN!!! LEAVE HIM ALONE. I’ll jailbreak him myself you leave that precious serpent alone!!!!!!!!!

- but what the actual FUCK is the point of this stupid prisoner fighting? Like??? Why can’t anyone be what they actually are? Poor Archie, being once again manipulated into doing what other people want. Please tell Joaquin what he did for him so they can become closer because I just... This is BULL FUCKING SHIT... also Baby Teeth looks a lot like Dane DeHaan lmao

- CHERONI (idk their ot3 name of Cheryl, Toni, and Veronica lol) ALL TOGETHER WOW!!! PRESIDENT BLOSSOM AND FIRST LADY TOPAZ!!!! I don’t care if that’s just because of the recent presidency issue that Veronica gave to Cheryl, I fucking love it and I am HERE for it! “And Sweet Pea and Fangs should definitely be in attendance” I have died. Goodbye. Sweet Pea and Fangs NEED to know that she specifically asked for them okay bye

- wow that was a lot of time without seeing Bughead and it was fucking refreshing. “Evelyn was helping me, she visited me in the hospital.” “Was that her idea, or her dad’s?” See Betty... this is why no one likes you because when someone is in need you skip directly to your agenda (when Cheryl faced her father as the black hood and Betty immediately asked if it was her father instead of asking if she was alright like a normal person). Oddly how do Jughead and Ethel have more chemistry than Betty and Jughead? Also “but just you” after she side-eyes Betty I’m living. OMG “sorry, Betty, but you’ll never be worthy no matter how hard you try” it’s like Ethel is one of us omfg she just fucking obliterated Betty!!! I bet you Shannon is being bullied about this episode too smh 🙄🙄🙄 but I’m surprised Betty didn’t go into unneeded bitch mode on Ethel mmhm... “and I’m in need of some series peer support” IF ONLY YOU WOULD ACTUALLY GET HELP! But you know that if you did they would tell you that you and jug are too co-dependent and need to break up

- SHIRTLESS REGGIE FUCK YEAH THANKS VERONICA! “Reginald” fuck me up mami!! Omfg no Penny get your disgusting Jingle Jangle away from this amazing, non-criminal establishment!!! Of COURSE Sheriff Minetta... but if Reggie is used to selling it surely he knows a way to hide it. Of course not that much but... he should be quick at thinking of getting rid of it, right? Why didn’t V show him around Pop’s first? Like we know she was set up to get caught but like... it would stall

- Sheriff Minetta is making it 2000% obvious that he’s looking through the boxes he knows is filled with Jingle Jangle... like at least don’t act like you’re working for Hiram lmao Jesus you suck. BUT OMG REGGIE’S SARCASTIC ASS SALUTE WHEN HE’S LEAVING I FUCKING LOVE THAT

- If the empty classroom means the “farm needs some time to catch on” then why the everloving fuck would you waste money on pizza, let alone three boxes of pizza?

- poor Archie... but wouldn’t you want to treat your “tapped” well? So that you can bet on them? Jesus Christ fuck OFF! When Veronica Lodge hears about this... shit will go down. Archie knocked that guy down in two hits holy fuck. ARCHIE GETS POP’S AND SHARES IT WHAT AN ARCHIE THING AWWW

- CHONI BEING CUTE GIRLFRIENDS!!! CHERYL LAUHING!!! PHOTOGRAPGER!TONI!!!!!! CHERONI But I honestly don’t know how I feel about “Serpettes” but since it came out of Veronica’s mouth... suddenly I am in love with it. Cheryl Blossom in the king’s throne... we know who truly deserves to rule over the Serpents 👑❤️ That look between Toni and Veronica hell yeah! Honestly please get into a three-way relationship. In Sense8 they did that and it was the greatest thing — EVERYBODY loved it. Let’s do that here please! “Antoinette” bitch I’m dead

- this team up is so fucking great. Of COURSE Sweet Pea and Fangs we’re right, they’re the (true) KINGS.

- If there are certain levels you need to “attain” to meet a leader... you’re in a fucking cult people. Also then why didn’t Evelyn say anything? And Betty’s face is all like “you traitorous bitch” when she finds out lol.

- They know everything Betty has done? Umm why the FUCK don’t you tell Jughead since that’s the only way he ever finds shit out about Betty? He needs to know that she fucking cheated on him? I mean the cult is creepy af but if they tell Jughead (even though they said they keep everyone’s secrets) he couldn’t possible stay with her... right?

- LMAO JUGHEAD HAS TO KISS ETHEL. But honestly... why does that kiss seem to have more in it than when he kisses Betty? ☠️☠️☠️ it’s probably bc I hate Bughead (and dislike Betty a lot) but still... I feel nothing for this pairing as well but I just find it funny that he has kissed two girls while he’s dared Betty (but both are a part of a game). Oh Ethel tried to kill herself after kissing Jughead... Jesus I know it’s Jughead but come on... also does that mean she could have possibly killed Jughead??? Like??? Imagine how that would have been — instead of dying for the Serpents he died because he was trying to figure out gryphons and gargoyles.

- VERONICA CONFRONTING AND STANDING UP AGAINST HER FATHER FUCK YEAH!!! But Ronnie even if you do have copies... TAKE THEM WITH YOU SO HE CAN’T DO ANYTHING. Your dad is, sadly, smart. You know this.

- aww Archie... HE’S IMAGINING HIS DAD I’M

- damn Betty looks fucking good for the opening of V’s speakeasy! For a sec I thought she was wearing her serpent jacket (😷😷) but turns out it’s just a robe but her hair is bomb. “I trust them more than I trust you, Betty” wow everyone’s attacking Betty lol like I get it bc it’s Betty but damn Alice...

- Reggie is a SNACC bye. CHONI REALLY DID THAT COOL HOT HAND HOLD HUH!!!! V really called Choni her favorite power couple... I’m also gonna take that as low-key shade for Bughead because we all been knew that anyone Choni, and anyone Veronica is with is much better. “THANKS BABE” wow fuck me upppppp Cheryl!!!!

- lol Jughead the manual will probably be gone by tonight bc of plot convenience (also Betty does look good uGH YAS) But Betty your attempt to be cute with Jug isn’t working bc that fresh aid isn’t gonna come off. You should know this???

- SWEETVEE BITCH. I don’t care what they were doing I love the hand touch, bye. Like I know she was PROBABLY asking about protection or something but yes fuck me up! But veggie thooo

- Hiram we don’t want your probably-wired picture of Veronica from your office. “If only you could see how a legitimate business is run” YES BITCHHH. But don’t let him in!!! VERONICA WHY? I know you probably secretly crave his approval and shit but NO NO NO NO NO

- SWEET PEA’S HOLLER FOR JOSIE! God he’s so into her but she only wants a summer fling 😭😭😭 even thoufh she apparenly has a romance later, which means it’ll be during school and therefor, probably going to hurt Sweet Pea 😭😭😭

- also SWEET PEA AND FANGS WITH THOSE FANCY ASS CLOTHES. They own me bye

- Josie YES we love a queen (and Archie baby... you’re such a sweet person for thinking of everyone but yourself first and I admire it bc same but what is your endgame?) Sweet Pea must be internally screaming at Josie’s movements and the song itself bc I know I am.

- oh no I really hope my theory that Archie breaks up with V bc all of thinks about is Hiram isn’t true... but Archie you could have held onto those glass pieces what the FUCK

- Archie destroying the entire cell is also same because when I get angry I legit turn into the hulk and throw shit around... oh damn mad dog! He hid a weapon, I miss Wells Jaha xD what a smart fucker

- wow it’s almost like I knew exactly that someone would find the manual. Of course I didn’t really expect FP and Alice (Betty didn’t say where it was hidden though, but then again their kids are stupid enough to hide it at Jug’s place) Jesus FP don’t hold Jughead like that

- Betty??? “Why are you here, what are you hiding” why tf do you think

- how about everyone comes clean, Betty? You’re the child so literally stop acting like you’re superior

- I just realized how good Jug looked in that tux. Him with Veronica in that purple dress? Would be so fucking bomb

- Why is she still staying with Hiram? Like because of their feud you’d expect her to leave? Like Fred would probably love the company, or Cheryl. Get away from that manipulative fuckhead!

- PEEP JOAQUIN IN THE BACKGROUND. Baby, his arm 😭😭😭

- Archie wouldn’t escaping be bad? Like yeah you’d get out but you’d also be a fugitive? And watch, if it does happen, it’ll be right before someone magically finds a way to get him out.

- PEEP JOAQUIN AS A WHOLE SHOT AND HIS FUCKING EYE NOOO

- but now Kevin will have more reason not to be with him if Joaquin is a fugitive 😭😭😭 I just want Mevin to die off and Joavin to rise is that so much to ask??? However I am here for this Archie/Joaquin friendship

- BETTY AND JUG WHY ARE YOU IN THE BUNKER AGAIN?! Jesus Christ, ew... stop.

- Jug... being you, you should know it’s not over. Especially with how things go? Jesus...

- CHERYL YOU’RE NOT DUMB ENOUGH TO READ THAT. We all know Cheryl would look at it with wonder, read the title, and throw it away.

- also just because people have a manual for some random ass game doesn’t mean they’re gonna play it.

- Ethel’s worshipping that little bitch but she tried to kill herself for him... shouldn’t he be mad at her for failing since Jug saved her? How your loyalty to him works is so confusing ugh

- I’m stating now that if Cheryl, Toni, Veronica, Sweet Pea, Fangs, Josie, Kevin, Joaquin, Archie, or Reggie dies I’m sUING! The only children who don’t deserve anything bad happening to them better be left alone (but we been knew that only being Betty or Jughead will magically give you immunity, and everyone else is fucked). Touch my precious children and I’ll kill the devil himself so try me