#senukin69

[howlingday]

Ruby: To become a better version of myself... I HAVE TO LOSE WEIGHT AND TONE MY BODY!

Ruby: (On hands and knees, Coughing)

Ruby: (Stumbling to pick up bar)

Ruby: (Falls over after lifting two dumbbells)

Pyrrha: Oh no... What is that girl doing?

Pyrrha: Just so you know, working out all over the place doesn't help you lose weight.

Ruby: R-Really? (Panting) So... So what should I do?

Pyrrha: You could try our "PT" program.

Weiss: (Struggling to do a squat) It hurts... so much, coach~!

Ghira: Huh? You're already tired after just five reps? You can push out ten more reps, can't you? I'm not going to do your squats for you!

Weiss: Y-Yes, daddy~!

Ruby: ...

Pyrrha: ...

Weiss: Y-Yes, daddy! Wait, I mean... Yes, daddy! Excuse me, daddy! Sorry, daddy~!

Ghira: I'M NOT YOUR DADDY! TEN REPS AS PUNISHMENT!

Weiss: YES, DADDY~!

[mizstik]

https://x.com/senukin69/status/1786068399552127089

@senukin69

[howlingday]

Ozpin: Hm... You've both excelled your interviews. Unfortunately, the position requires only one person to fill it. So...

Ruby: ...

Jaune: ...

Ozpin: Who should I keep between you two?

Jaune/Ruby: Please keep her/him! I believe she/he has the right mix of expertise, vision, and dedication for this academy!

Ruby: !

Jaune: !

Ozpin: I... see- Wait! Where are you going?!

Jaune: (Bridal carrying Ruby) Excuse us, Headmaster, but we have a wedding to go to!

Ruby: (Gasps, They leave)

Ozpin: ...Perhaps I should do separate interviews in the future...

[howlingday]

Jaune: Hey, Terra, you wanna go grocery shopping with me?

Terra: Oh, of course~!

My sister got married a couple of months ago, but they're still living under the same roof as me. My sister-in-law is does some tech stuff while my sister draws erotic comics for a living. They don't have the funds to get their own place, so I don't plan on kicking them out any time soon. I also thought this would be a good opportunity to get a little closer to my new family member.

Jaune: Do we have any cucumbers left in the fridge?

Terra: No, we ran out a little while ago.

Oh, I almost forgot. My sister-in-law...

Terra: (Puts cucumber between breasts) Hey, Jaune~. Ya ever do this with a girl~?

Jaune: (Slaps cucumber out of her tits)

...IS A FUCKING DEGENERATE!

[howlingday]

Pyrrha: Jaune, let's go out tonight, okay? It is the Vytal Festival, after all.

This is my handsome husband, Jaune. We got married two weeks ago, so today I asked my boss to give me some leave to help nurture our marital relationship.

Jaune: Ah... I'm sorry, Pyrrha... I have to go visit my sick sister tonight. So, please, stay home, warm up some cocoa and snacks and relax for the both of us, okay? Tomorrow morning, I'll be back with that strawberry sweet-cake you like so much, okay? Until then~! (Exits)

Pyrrha: (Thinking) Visiting the sick, but he dresses so handsomely! Incredible! My husband is so very thoughtful~!.

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Cinder: Sorry I'm late, baby. Were you waiting for me for too long~?

Jaune: Nah. I just showed up, too. C'mon! There's a whole festival for us to enjoy~!

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Later that night...

Jaune: (Naked, In bed with Cinder)

Cinder: Oh, baby, why don't you leave that wife of yours and marry me instead~?

Jaune: You know I can't do that. I still love my wife very much. Besides, this is completely fine with me. After all, it's the thrill of trying to not get caught that's so exciting, isn't it, beautiful? After all, you're the one who seduced me, remember?

Cinder: Hmhm, and yet you say you love your wife like it's true love~!

So... He didn't want to marry me, huh? Well, he does have a point.

Cinder: (Walks out onto their balcony, Removing contacts)

BECAUSE HE'S ALREADY MY HUSBAND~!

Pyrrha: (Disguised as Cinder, Types) But I better send him a good night message so I don't get caught...

Pyrrha: (Message) Hi, honey~! How is your sick sister? Are you staying healthy? Remember not to work yourself sick! <3

But now that I think about it, my husband is also cheating on me with someone he doesn't even know is just me in disguise. Suddenly, I'm worried about the future of this marriage...

But what she doesn't know...

Jaune: (Reading her message, Smirks)

Her husband already knew from the start. He went along with his wife for the fun of it~!

[howlingday]

Sun: Man... Life sucks ass...

Jaune: Huh? Why?

Sun: No big tiddie goth gf in my life...

Jaune: ...

Sun: Oh, that's right!

Jaune: What's right?

Sun: You still owe me 20 Lien.

Jaune: WHAT?!

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Sun: (Carrying Jaune bridal style) PFFT! HA HA HA HA~! NICE OUTFIT, DUDE!

Jaune: (Goth gf mode) It sucks being poor, man...

Sun: ...But damn, dude! To be honest, you look like the real deal!

Jaune: Please, shut up...

Sun: That cosplay is so realistic. Hey, let me feel them milkies, dude~!

Jaune: Hell no! Five more minutes and I'm done!

Sun: (Squeezes)

Jaune: H-HEY! I SAID NO!

Sun: C'mon! Just one squee-

Sun: Wait a minute. This feels kinda weird. Almost like they're real, dude...

Jaune: B-Because they are real, dude...

[howlingday]

I have a girlfriend who is both cute and sexy, but there's something just not right with her...

Ruby: Hm? What with that L rizz? Your mewing streak stop? C'mon! Where's the sigma I adore that always looks-maxxing? Were you edging or gooning? Don't just leave me that gyatt! It's okay, you will always be my lil' baby gronk- trying to not be a beta. Okay, skibidii~? By the way, I'm hungry. Can blud cook me some bussin' food? Please? Also, no fanum tax.

She has brainrot, and sometimes I wish she'd shut the fuck up...

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Ruby: (In bed, On her scroll, Full volume) Skibidi dop dop dop yes yes, skidibi dabadu need n-

Ruby: Uwu? Grimace shake a whole bunch of turbulence? (Strokes chest) Freddy Fazbear, havin' a tough time catchin' some Zs? U want me to scoop u uwp? Lemme croon u a sleepy-time jammer, blud~.

Ruby: 1, 2, Buckle my shoe~, 3, 4, Buckle some more~

Some nights, I have to duct tape her mouth and wrap her in a cocoon to get some decent sleep...

--------------------------------------------------

Today is my aunt's funeral. I told Ruby to behave and not to say anything out of respect to her. She was doing good until...

Ruby: (Fortnite/Tony Hawk Skater dances)

To her credit, she did not, in fact, say a word the entire time, and I had to reward her with some chicken nuggets...