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My god… she’s beautiful…

grown ass woman suddenly awakens magical girl powers in her 30s and is now stuck in the washroom trying to hide from her co-workers also her 20yo best friend turns into a fuck ahh rpg mascot

[bdk1902]

Saeko was my crush, bro.

High School of The Dead Girls

Looking through old Anime I had and realized four incredibly kickass sexy charaters from a series sadly fated to never be completed.

Saya Takagi, Saeko Busujima, Shizuka Marikawa and Rika Minami from High School of the Dead...

Also I'm sure you noticed Rei isn't mentioned that is because Rei annoyed the fuck outta me and frankly I don't wanna make her.

[bdk1902]

Yang and Blake on the Bumblebee going after them: That’s our blond dork!

Random girl: Sorry, but this isn't working. It's best if we end this.

Jaune: And I'm fine with this, and I hope that...

Ruby arriving from who knows where and taking Jaune: It's mine mine mine mine mine mine!

Pyrrha and Weiss appearing out of nowhere as well: Hey get back here!

[bdk1902]

Ahh. Jealous Ilia.

Yang: I’m so nervous to meet Blake’s parents without her here to help translate…! 😰

Yang: Ilia, you’ll translate for me, right…? 🙏😬

Ilia: Sure, no problem buddy! 😁👍

Yang: *clears throat* It’s nice to meet you both! Blake has told me so much about you!

Ilia: *translating* The blonde devil says, “I will harm you!”

Ghira/Kali: 😯

Yang: I really want to impress my girlfriend’s parents! Unfortunately, all I know how to do is fight and I’m awkward as hell! 😅

Ilia: She says she wants a fight and for you to go to hell!

Kali: [Speaks to Ilia]

Yang: 🙂 ?

Ilia: Mrs. Belladonna says, if you pass all of her Faunus tests…you do not die! 😁

Yang: ☹️

[bdk1902]

He’s all bones now, Yang! Let the man rest!

Ren/Yang: (Chatting on their first date)

Yang: By the way, I have something to tell you. This usually puts guys off, but I want to be upfront.

Ren: I'm all ears.

Yang: I... Er... I love blowjobs.

Ren: (Chuckles) Is that so? That's interesting.

Yang: Wait, really? I don't think you really understand what I'm saying. I REALLY love blowjobs.

Ren: Yang, this couldn't possibly be a bad thing. In fact, this might be the best thing I've heard all night~.

---------------------------------------------------

On month later...

Yang: Hey, babe~? Um... I was wondering if I could... suck your cock later~?

Ren: (Wheezes) This is what I asked for...

---------------------------------------------------

When it started...

Ren: H-Holy... Ngh! You... You weren't kidding... You're really good at this... You're practically milking my cock~.

Yang: Mmn~...

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Now...

Yang: Aw! Why isn't there any cum~?

Ren: I... I already nutted eight times... HOLY FU

[bdk1902]

Meanwhile with Isane and Soi-Fon watching them panicking.

Isane (watching Jaune with a smile): That’s our boyfriend, huh?

Soi-Fon (dreamily watching Hanatarou with a dazed smile): yeah~.

Love is (not) dead

Hanatarou: JAUNE I HAVE A DATE BUT I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!!

Jaune: Dude I'm happy you came to me for relationship ship advice but also dumbfounded you came to ME for relationship advice cause I do not have a good track record for love

Hanatarou: Oh man I have a date with Soi-Fon and I'm going to mess it up

Jaune: I mean I can give you some advice but it's just your bas- WHO?!?!?

Hanatarou: I have a date with Captain Soi-Fon!

Jaune: What!? How!?

Hanatarou: I don't know! She just grabbed me and told me she was taking me out for a date!

Jaune: Why!?

Hanatarou: I d-don't know! What do I do!?

Jaune: How the fuck should I know!? I don't even know how I got Isane!

Hanatarou: Crap! I-I'm gonna mess this up!

Jaune: AAAHHHH!!!

Hanatarou: AAAHHHH!!!

[bdk1902]

Jaune: But aren’t you the one who leglocked me all the time?

Harriet: no excuses!

Gigolo AU

Has jaune ever got one of his clients pregnant.

Jaune: *sighs* "Well..."

*standing next to Jaune was an annoyed Harriet Bree, nine months pregnant with his child*

Harriet: "I've missed work because of you."

Jaune: *chuckles sheepishly* "Yeah..."

[bdk1902]

Good job, Anya!

CW : gore

[bdk1902]

[bdk1902]

Well at least there’s one thing that keeps him company: a mini Nora.

Love is (not) dead

Yachiru asking a million questions

Kenpachi: Huh surprised you can keep up with her so well

Jaune: Seven sisters most of them needing a boys perspective.... plus Nora so I'm used to it

Yachiru: WOW SEVEN WHOLE SISTERS WHATS THEIR NAME, WHAT ARE THEY LIKE, WHOSE YOUR FAVORITE?!?!?!?

(This got me thinking about what if Yachiru and Nora met)

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Yachiru: *Jumps on Jaune's back* Blondie!

Jaune: *Chuckles* Ha! Hey Yachiru! How ya been?

Yachiru: I'm good! Hey! Where's Giantess?

Jaune: Busy, why?

Yachiru: Just wondering! Hey! Can you make me some more of those weird things you made last time?

Jaune: Hm? You mean Pancakes?

Yachiru: Yeah! Yeah! Those!

Jaune: Heh, no problem... wait, where's Kenpatchi?

Yachiru: I don't know, I've just been exploring all on my own!

Jaune: Well, just don't get lost ok, or else Kenpatchi's gonna have a fit

Yachiru: Haha! Ok!

*Jaune walks back to his barrack with Yachiru on his back*

[bdk1902]

“Die With A Smile” - Bruno Mars, Lady Gaga plays

Girls want only one thing…

[bdk1902]

Achievement unlocked: “You pulled an Adrien.”

Ruby: Hey Jaune, you wanna come play with me in my dorm~?

Jaune: Sorry, I got to study for that big test on Friday.

Ruby: But my team isn't home~.

Jaune: You can always study with me and my team if you want.

Ruby: ...Sure... just let me go get my books. *leaves*

Jaune: Okay, guess I'll text everyone and make sure they know Ruby is coming too.

Jaune: What in the- ...Hmm.

Jaune: "Achievement unlocked: deny a ride"?

[bdk1902]

Definitely Arcwitch:

Name Your Ship

[bdk1902]

“Fuck yeah, stud~.”

Jaune’s Type

“So, Fearless Leader.” Nora said to Jaune.

“Yeah, Nora?” He said, reading his book.

“What type of do girls do you like?”

“Type of girls?”

“Or men? I don’t judge. Just don’t be a bigot about it.”

“Nora, no. I’m straight.”

“Oh, okay! So which type of girls do you like?”

“Well, I’m into older women.”

“Oh like Velvet and Coco.”

“Way older.”

“Really? Why’s that?”

That’s when Jaune closed his book, and turns to his energetic teammate/friend.

“Because older women tends to be more mature, more experienced, and can handle more than just simple tasks. I love women that can be by my side both physically and emotionally. I want women, not little girls like Weiss, and Ruby.”

“I feel like you just offended both of them.”

“My point stands, Nora.”

“…You can just admit that you’re into girls that can Ara ara you.”

“I told you that in confidence!”

Unbeknownst to them, they were being recorded.

“So Jaune loves that type of women, huh?” Glynda Goodwitch heard through her Scroll, and texted her group.

“Ladies. We have a blonde cutie to seduce.”

——————————

Winter look at the message, and smiled.

“Sorry, sister. But I’m stealing your man. He’s into older mature women anyway. Mother, pack your bags! We’re going to Beacon!”

“I saw the message! Give me 5 minutes!”

——————————

“Sorry, Ruby. Mama’s going to ‘talk’ to your friend~.”

——————————

“Vernal, get your weapons. We’re going to Vale.”

——————————

“Emerald! Neo! We have a new mission!” (I imagine Emerald is in her early 20s, as well as Neo and Cinder.)

“Does it involves Jaune?”

“Yes.”

“Oh fuck yes.”

Neo pulls a sign. ‘Finally! We get to fuck a stud!’

——————————

“Harriet! We got a message!”

“I saw! And I’m not getting sloppy seconds, Elm! We’re going to Beacon!”

——————————

“Kali.”

“Sienna.”

They both look at their scrolls.

“I’ll disband the White Fang if you let me share.”

“Deal.” They both shook hands.

——————————

“Sorry, Oz. But I found a new stud~.” Salem smirked.

——————————

“…Why do I feel like I’m about to get fucked, both in a good and bad way?”

“You’re just imagining things.”

“Mr. Arc. Please head to the headmistress’s office.” Came from Ms Goodwitch’s voice announcing megaphone.

“…You were saying Nora?”

Nora shrugged.

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But what ship would Hanataro X Soi-Fon be?

But the only female captain in Soul Society is … no shot it’s Soi-Fon!

It is! It is! And do you wanna know why~?

Because Soi-fon is weak to Pathetic and adorable men!

[bdk1902]

No wait that makes sense.

But the only female captain in Soul Society is … no shot it’s Soi-Fon!

It is! It is! And do you wanna know why~?

Because Soi-fon is weak to Pathetic and adorable men!

[bdk1902]

Summer struts her way towards Jaune with swaying hips.

Jaune’s Type

“So, Fearless Leader.” Nora said to Jaune.

“Yeah, Nora?” He said, reading his book.

“What type of do girls do you like?”

“Type of girls?”

“Or men? I don’t judge. Just don’t be a bigot about it.”

“Nora, no. I’m straight.”

“Oh, okay! So which type of girls do you like?”

“Well, I’m into older women.”

“Oh like Velvet and Coco.”

“Way older.”

“Really? Why’s that?”

That’s when Jaune closed his book, and turns to his energetic teammate/friend.

“Because older women tends to be more mature, more experienced, and can handle more than just simple tasks. I love women that can be by my side both physically and emotionally. I want women, not little girls like Weiss, and Ruby.”

“I feel like you just offended both of them.”

“My point stands, Nora.”

“…You can just admit that you’re into girls that can Ara ara you.”

“I told you that in confidence!”

Unbeknownst to them, they were being recorded.

“So Jaune loves that type of women, huh?” Glynda Goodwitch heard through her Scroll, and texted her group.

“Ladies. We have a blonde cutie to seduce.”

——————————

Winter look at the message, and smiled.

“Sorry, sister. But I’m stealing your man. He’s into older mature women anyway. Mother, pack your bags! We’re going to Beacon!”

“I saw the message! Give me 5 minutes!”

——————————

“Sorry, Ruby. Mama’s going to ‘talk’ to your friend~.”

——————————

“Vernal, get your weapons. We’re going to Vale.”

——————————

“Emerald! Neo! We have a new mission!” (I imagine Emerald is in her early 20s, as well as Neo and Cinder.)

“Does it involves Jaune?”

“Yes.”

“Oh fuck yes.”

Neo pulls a sign. ‘Finally! We get to fuck a stud!’

——————————

“Harriet! We got a message!”

“I saw! And I’m not getting sloppy seconds, Elm! We’re going to Beacon!”

——————————

“Kali.”

“Sienna.”

They both look at their scrolls.

“I’ll disband the White Fang if you let me share.”

“Deal.” They both shook hands.

——————————

“Sorry, Oz. But I found a new stud~.” Salem smirked.

——————————

“…Why do I feel like I’m about to get fucked, both in a good and bad way?”

“You’re just imagining things.”

“Mr. Arc. Please head to the headmistress’s office.” Came from Ms Goodwitch’s voice announcing megaphone.

“…You were saying Nora?”

Nora shrugged.