#sending you lots of love and wishing you soooo much fun with your reread <3< /div>
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i love that you are rereading aftg rn bc i just started rereading it and all the content u are putting on my dash is making me feel like i'm in hs reading it for the first time again it's so fun <3
anon we are holding hands š«¶ glad to provide!!! i feel like i am back in high school as well. itās So Much Fun to come on here to post about these silly books again and see that i am Not alone in the brainrot <3
#whether itās just people enthusiastically asking after my reread or people hitting me up in the dms to scream with me about the foxes#i love it all.#takes me back to peak litblr times with high engagement & interaction among people in the fandom#the brainrot will remain for a little while longer given that my beloved jo is reading the series for the first time soon.#will not be able to disengage from these books until sheās done with them#i fear#anon#have a great week <333#sending you lots of love and wishing you soooo much fun with your reread <3
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hi dreamie! i just wanted to wish you a good week a good month a good year because truly i am like #1 planet dream stan sry.. like i remember when i was going thru such a SLUMPPP (soty) and then i would read a lot of ur posts n i remember getting so hyped whenever you had a new theme like i would physically smile and think "OMG NEW THEME!!!" and truly like. i was jumping kicking my feet when u responded to my skz fleshlight ask (bec again i am ur #1 fan) and i just wanna say that your writing truly gives people happiness and that you have a talent that you should never let go of. thank you for existing <3
hello !! i cannot express with words how lovely you are. this is one ofāif notāTHEE sweetest thing ever š„ŗ youāre so so so sweet and lovely!! thank you for sending this ask and enjoying my writing! really donāt think you understand how much you and this ask made my day š„ŗ iāve been rereading it all day š thank you for existing <3
also, i wanna thank u for sending that fleshlight ask !! (even though i answered it a lil late lol) loved that ask soooo much (it was rotting in my brain) + it helped me write without overthinking or doubting myself too much. it was a fun lil ask <3
n iāve previously said that iāve had some negative feelings surrounding my writing, and lately iāve been working through them (ie; not stressing myself out). i think iām comfortable with writing again now (donāt quote me on this).
#[š] Ėļ½”ā#š ā heademptyjustleeknow#always here for slump appreciation !!!!! šš¾#and thank youuuu for the theme appreciation š
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I had an okay weekend, Iāve managed to catch a frustrating cold thatās leaving me with almost no voice. Happiful Magazine is a UK based magazine that talks about health and such. Itās a magazine where you can receive advice on how to help yourself, how to take care of yourself. Iām thinking of possibly writing for it, but I donāt know if Iād be good enough for it. Freelance writing is something that I have been looking into doing since this class as an after college thing. ~āļø
Real Love~ āHe presses his warm lips to your forehead, and the feeling in your heart is like coming home.ā This was a beautiful piece that shows love between two friends in the sweetest way even as their stuck in a fake relationship coming to an end. Itās adorable to see the budding relationship bloom into something more real than either of them had expected. I love that this bloomed when their contracted fake relationship started coming to an end.~āļø
Come Cuddle~ āYou know exactly what he means: youāve always believed home is a feeling, not a place, but it wasnāt until you actually met Tom that you could truly experience what itās like to place your sense of self into another person.ā Killed my heart with the adorableness of this piece! Iāve fallen in love with this one and now it takes control as my favorite oneshot for Tom already. Iām sure something will top it, but I just absolutely adore this piece! ā¤ļø~āļø
Quiet Nights~ āItās normal, Tom. You donāt have to be happy all the time. You donāt have to be strong all the time. Youāre a person, and sometimes people feel low, and thereās nothing wrong with that.ā God I wish someone could remind me of this. I absolutely love this fic and I can completely relate to Tom, especially recently. Y/N is the perfect pick-me-up person, shining a light in the darkness swallowing us whole... sorry a bit morbid there, but new favorite!! ā¤ļø~āļø
Underneath the Mask~ Prince Tom, ooh Iām in for it!! Gosh the forbidden love between best friends that arenāt supposed to be best friends ā¤ļø! āHeās in love with you, possibly the only person heās not allowed to date. The only person that knows of his secret romance is Harrison, and even he, for all his good-naturedness, had been horrified at first when heād heard Tom was courting a Y/L/N. Iām so in love with this, and maybe itāll be my favorite when Iām in a good headspace. I love it! ā¤ļø~āļø
Lust~ Iām in for it... Should I be reading this during class? Probably not. Am I going to though? Absolutely. āTom meets your eyes, and in his deep, swirling depths, you find understanding.ā Oh youāre trying to get me in trouble with this piece š„µ. You and your details, setting it up perfectly, driving the piece deeply, simply, yet detailed excursions are your forte. I have nothing left to say other than that I should not have read this during class. (Written yesterday at 1:30 p.m.) ā¤ļø~āļø
The Box~ This is my new favorite, just so you know, and I donāt think anything will top it. āYour heart races as you nod, realising that though it might not happen now, at some point - some point very soon - Tomās going to fall to his knees in front of you and sweep you off your feet. A large grin paints over your lips.ā New freakinā favorite right here!!!! ā¤ļøā¤ļø~āļø
The Rooftop Party~ Awe!! āYou arenāt together, and you know the arms around your waist are his idea of being close to a friend.ā š that broke my little heart... āYou grin happily, body floating in a suspended state of bliss.ā Yup, you fixed it ā¤ļø, and Iām kind of in love with this one.. Itās so close, meters away from taking over the favorite spot in OneShots right now. Itās soooo sooo close! But, itās still such an adorable fluffy piece, and I absolutely adore it! ā¤ļø~āļø
A Rose~ okay, hold it... gone wrong.? I donāt want the angst!! āHe wants to say no. He really wants to say no.ā God I really wasnāt prepared š©š. Iām crying right now, wha.. wha.. what did you just do to my heart right now?! What?! Why?! I canāt.. oh my god, you broke me. ššššššš You canāt kill me like that!!!!!!!! š~āļø
Accidental Proposal~ āYou love him. You love him in a way youāve never loved anyone before. Itās all-consuming, all-encompassing, and absolutely fulfilling. And you know you never want that love to fizzle out, or fade away, or be taken away.ā That just made me go awe really, really loudly. This is such an adorable piece. This is like.. just.. oh my gosh itās so pure. I love, love, love it! ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø~āļø
Lingerie~ okay, Iāve read this one and it is just too damn good š„µ. āItās a game. A dangerous, heated game, and with every passing day, his eyes seem hungrier as they meet with yours, and he seems to inch closer to you.ā The go from oh this š„µ will happen again to another time with a date because they both truly want more than a fling. And I love it! š„µā¤ļø~āļø
One Million~ āNever one to accept defeat so easily, Tom reaches up and wraps his hand around your wrist, his touch keeping your phone in place as he brings his index finger up and begins to scroll through your feed, greedy eyes skimming over the numbers. You stay still, trying not to think about how nice it feels to have him gripping at your skin so tightly.ā Damn.. š„µš„µš„µ that was fucking good. Oof š„µā¤ļø~āļø
Head Over Heels~ okay, just from the summary I know Iām in for fluff! āAfter a while, the conversation fades out, and then itās just him, and you, sat on top of his washing machines, holding hands.ā And youāve done killed me with fluff again. This is now my favorite, Iām sorry āThe Boxā, but youāve been beaten by an even more fluffy piece. Itās so detailed, adorable, fluffy, and gooooood! The consuming need to want to be with y/n gets me because I want that! Iām in love with this piece! ā¤ļø~āļø
Warm~ Iāve read this one too ā¤ļøš„µ Jesus fuck I forgot how hot this piece was š„µš„µš¤¦āāļø. āFor you, thereās nothing more fulfilling than hiding your face into your boyfriendās shoulder and feeling him everywhere.ā Jesus. I know the last oneshot that I have to read before the mobTom! pieces will be just as hot, but damn. š„µā¤ļø~āļø
Sucker Punch~ I purposely waited to read this for this moment. āYouāre surprised by his reaction to you. Youād expected something else entirely. Clenched jaws and anger. The last time youād been together, things between you had been the opposite of amicable.ā gosh and you gave us a flashback. Jesus fuck that was hot.. like I canāt even.. š„µš„µ.. So... This is my favorite piece, like fucking FAVORITE piece! No topping that, itās not possible for anything to top this piece ever. In love. ā¤ļøā¤ļø~āļø
Holy crap, Iāve now gotten through all of the OneShots for Tom aside from the Mob ones. Iām kind of like.. idk and I havenāt read the newest part of TFG because I donāt want to die, but like Iām about to read that because I want to wait for the mobTom ones.~āļø
I have a question because I feel like you know, but Iām not sure. Do you who know what my username is? Cause like Iāve given sooo many hints and now Iām just curious as to whether you already know or not š š ~āļø
Okay, Iām going to be starting your MobTom pieces once I finish my homework and newspaper work. So, like, Iām excited and wondering if Iāll have a new favorite because like, I went through a couple of favourites in the OneShots. Weāll see what happens! Also, still havenāt read part nine because Iām just so on edge! Iām going to read it tonight though, but like Oof just dreading it, not sure how Iām going to handle how you kill me with this new chapter. ā¤ļø~āļø
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OKAY SO WE HAVE A LOT TO UNPACK HERE. first off I just want to say Iām sorry it took me a while to answer these - I never really know when to start answering and when to wait, but I feel like this is a good time to pause? because you sent in so much and I donāt want you to feel like I donāt appreciate every single message - because I DO !! okay !! so !!
first - I hope youāre feeling better !!! colds are horrid. and I also hope that you do the freelance writing gig! anything to get your foot in the door is good, and writing is always so fun. go you !! let me know how it goes if you do it!
second - :))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
scream. THANK YOU for taking the time to send these in. thank you thank you. all the isolated quotes are like a BLAST from the past, because I wrote a lot of those two years ago. Iāve reread them all apart from A Rose, and just...wow. crazy. I hope you could like...see my writing improve as you went through them š thank you so much, again. like, truly. I canāt say it enough. but just knowing the time it must take you to do all of this for me....... I am eternally eternally grateful. thank you <33333Ā
third - Iām like, 95% sure I know who you are, but I donāt think Iād ever be 100% š I also wouldnāt ever want to message you without your permission, because sometimes people find it easier talking over anon, and Iād never want to abuse that dynamic that weāve built up..? does that make sense? idk !! sometimes people feel safer on anon, so even if I was 100% sure, I wouldnāt ever message you without getting the green light first <3
fourth - thank you AGAIN, so so so so much for this. I was so happy to read your thoughts and even happier that your favourite piece was the one I wrote most recently - means Iām doing something right :) good luck with the mob ones!! theyāre very different to everything else that Iāve written, obviously, but I had fun with them. when I started the mob series, Iād intended for it to be more of a ....well, series.....but weāre not quite there yet š youāll see lol. good luck and thank you!!
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4, 8, 11, 13, 23, 30, 34, 38 :)
Oooh, awesome! Thanks.Ā
Iāve included already answered ones below.
A Writerās Ask Game
agwitow:
Send me an ask with the number(s) youād like me to answer!
The Basics1. Ā Ā Do you listen to music when you write?2. Ā Ā Are you a pantser or plotter?
Started out as a pantser but after a few fic, I decided to give plotting a try. Am now a fully committed plotter.
3. Ā Ā Computer or pen and paper?
Definitely computer. My fingers tend to cramp up even when I write a little bit and when I write a page or so in a notebook (I often carry a notebook with me when I go somewhere but donāt want to drag the laptop with me), about 3/4th of it illegible to anyone who isnāt me. In a way, thatās a good thing I suppose considering some of my smuttier fics, but overall itās just a pain. And I always get disappointed when I get around to typing out the notes because it looks like a lot more when written out!
4. Ā Ā Have you ever been published, or do you want to be published?
No, I have never been published. Maybe one day Iāll try my hand at it, but right now I donāt feel like my writing isĀ āgood enoughā yet. No idea for an original novel either.
5. Ā Ā How much writing do you get done on an average day?6. Ā Ā Single or multiple POV?7. Ā Ā Standalone or series?8. Ā Ā Oldest WIP
Oldest WIP Iāve written for or does plotting also count? If itās just written, then itās probably my abandoned Down the Rabbit Hole (FFnet | AO3). I just... got stuck. And it was so incredibly frustrating and really stopped me from enjoying anything fic-related that I finally just said to hell with it and dropped it. I just checked and I stopped working on it in 2013... I still have the outline and everything though, so who knows?
9. Ā Ā Current WIP10. Ā Do you set yourself deadlines?
The Specifics11. Ā Books and/or authors who influenced you the most
To be honest, I have no idea. I donāt know, maybe Iām rare but Iāve never been one of those people who held specific authors up as their ideal. I used to read a lot of books (nowadays less so, because 1) am adult and have to adult and 2) because I read fanfic and often would rather write my own fic than read a book) and have some favoritesĀ (all fiction) but nothing that really stands out.
12. Ā Describe your perfect writing space13. Ā Describe your writing process from idea to polished
Hahaha! Are you sure you want to know?
Okay, so I get an idea. Often when Iām half asleep/dozing, in the shower or just doing something mindlessly. The ideas are usually specific scenes that I can see play out in my head, but occasionally itās just a conversation/some dialogue. If I like it, Iāll try to force more by really focusing on it. If the muse wishes it, that tends to work. Iām rarely super excited about an idea that Iāll start working on it right away, and prefer to let it roll around for a while. See if it keeps popping up and more details are added. If itās worth my time and energy, I suppose.
Once that happens, Iāll start writing down notes. I use OneNote to organize my fic ideas/plotting and have one notebook thatās simply for ideas; one section per idea and depending on the idea, itāll just be a stream of consciousness (often peppered with questions for myself) or a bit more organized in different pages. Again, depending on how excited I am about the idea, this can be done in a day or it can take weeks/months where Iāll occasionally add some info.
Then, when I feel like I want to work on it some more, Iāll start to delve into the details. When is it set? Whatās the beginning, middle and end? Which events do I want include but have no idea where yet? Is there specific dialogue or are there actions I want to maybe include at one point? If itās an AU, AR or AT, Iāll start working on the differences from canon (who is in it, whatās their role, how does it deviate from canon). How long do I think this fic will be? I need to set a max number of chapters for myself, otherwise the story will just keep growing and Iāll keep adding stuff and in the end itāll read like I just came up with more and more stuff simply so I wouldnāt have to end the story, rather than telling the story I wanted to tell in the beginning.Ā
Anyway, I start creating pages for the chapters and fill in the few things I already know. At this point I often also involve my beta and discuss the fic idea with her. Everything from that conversation goes into theĀ ābrainstormā section and Iāll work on the questions and suggestions that arose during the conversation. Then, Iāll start focusing on filling up the chapters with general outlines. That can be anything fromĀ āscene 1 Sam telling Jack (Sam pov); scene 2 introspection about changes (Jack pov)ā to a paragraphed summary or even a scene completely written out. Sometimes itās justĀ āsome shippy stuff hereā, to let me know that at one point I need to lighten it up or bring them closer together. I go over all the chapter pages that way, but donāt necessarily fill them all out. I also make one page with a chapter overview, which is usually the numbered chapters with one or two lines about the content so I can see in one quick glance which things need working on.Ā
More thinking on the fic idea, sometimes even when sleeping and brainstorming with the beta usually follows, which in turn results in adding more details. The chapter pages get more specifics or maybe aĀ ādonāt forget to mention [character]āĀ orĀ ānow [# weeks] pregnant, mention that/include symptomsā. Also, depending on the story idea, I might need to do research. That can be canon/fanon stuff, but also scientific stuff, maybe a different language, create background information for original/rarely used canonicalĀ characters, timeline, locations, RL world events, and so on. That also gets included in the notebook and, at some point, added to the relevant chapter.
Once my outlining is done and I feel comfortable to startĀ writing, I tend to just create a master document and start writing. Now, thatās not to say my whole outline is complete or that itās something I must strictly adhere to. Additions and changes are made all the time, sometimes Iāll get stuck or realize a scene doesnāt work the way I envisioned it or the beta tells me something is missing. So, I go back to the notes and work on it. Then I go back to the fic and write, write, write.
Oh and I usually ask the beta to go over a chapter once Iāve finished writing it (or, if Iām stuck in a scene, Iāll ask her to look at it right away) and then Iāll go over the feedback, make changes, possibly discuss some of the things she mentioned, do some more editing and then Iāll go to the next chapter and write some more.
14. Ā How do you deal with self-doubts?15. Ā How do you deal with writerās block?16. Ā How many drafts do you need until youāre satisfied with a project?17. Ā What writing habits or rituals do you have?
Hmm. Iām not sure? I do know that when Iām stuck I tend to make a fruit salad or get snacks out in the hopes of it resulting in the required brainpower to keep going.
18. Ā If you could collaborate with anyone, who would it be, and what would you write about?19. Ā How do you keep yourself motivated?20. Ā How many WIPs and story ideas do you have?
The Favourites21. Ā Who is/are your favourite character(s) to write?22. Ā Who is/are your favourite pairing(s) to write?23. Ā Favourite author
I donāt think I really have a favorite author... I donāt like non-fiction, I always read fiction and often thrillers. Some of the books I always order and often reread are ones by Jilliane Hoffman and Ingrid Black.
As for fic, see my favorites/bookmarks on my profile on FFnet/AO3.
24. Ā Favourite genre to write and read25. Ā Favourite part of writing
Ooh, difficult to choose. I really love doing the research and plotting, but I think the best part of writing is ending up with the story you imagined before you even āput pen to to paperā. Also, managing to convey the emotions through the writing - like when a reader comments with how they also teared up, they had to stop reading a few times to catch their breath/get a grip on their emotions or were just overwhelmed by it all. Thatās pretty neat.
26. Ā Favourite writing program27. Ā Favourite line/scene28. Ā Favourite side character29. Ā Favourite villain30. Ā Favourite idea you havenāt started on yet
I have quite a few fic ideas I havenāt started writing yet. Not sure I can choose one. But one that Iāve had for a long time, like ~6 years, and even started writing on (but then discarded that because it wasnāt a good opening) is for Woman In Blue. Itās a first-person fic, a style I actually kinda hate and would probably back-button right away if I saw one of my favorite authors use in a new fic... anyway, itās Mark Carter in first person, writing about Sam (and to a smaller extent, Jack) and all the things he learned about her life after her death - she and Jack died in a blaze of glory, defending Earth against a Replicator attack that also prompted Disclosure.
The Dark31. Ā Least favourite part of writing32. Ā Most difficult character to write33. Ā Have you ever killed a main character?34. Ā What was the hardest scene you ever had to write?
There are so many scenes Iāve struggled with, most recently in Unmade Plans (chapter 8 specifically, that one really was a fight and Iāve rewritten it probably a dozen times) but the hardestĀ was probably the Sam/Klorel scene in Only the Stubborn Survive. Those of you whoāve read the fic will know which scene I mean.
35. Ā What scene/story are you least looking forward to writing?
The Fun36. Ā Last sentence you wrote37. Ā First sentence or your current WIP38. Ā Weirdest story idea youāve ever had
Iām not quite sure. A lot of them start out as weird ideas! The end result as you see them are soooo different. Maybe Consequences of Being Touched, because there were quite a few risque scenes in there?
39. Ā Weirdest character concept youāve ever had40. Ā Share some backstory for one of your characters
The Rest of It41. Ā Any advice for new/beginning/young writers?42. Ā How do you feel about love triangles?43. Ā What do you do if/when characters donāt follow the outline?
It depends on the situation and the outline. Iāve thrown outlines out of the window at times because something else turned out to work much better once you actually reach that point in your story, but Iāve also rewritten a scene a dozen times before I got it exactly the way I wanted it in the outline.
44. Ā How much research do you do?45. Ā How much world building do you do?46. Ā Do you reread your own stories?47. Ā Best way to procrastinate48. Ā Whatās the most self-insert character/scene youāve ever written?49. Ā Which character would you most want to be friends with, if they were real?50. Ā [Other questionāask me anything]
Well, those were fun but also tricky! Guess I shouldnāt have skimmed the list before rbāing, haha. No just kidding, I loved answering them. Thanks!
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Before we knew (š it's my fav ) - 3 8 11
omg so happy and honored that it's your fav!!
the fic: before we knew
3: Whatās your favorite line of narration?
okay it's been a while since i've reread this fic soooo this is not 100% accurate but i think i'll say:
The worst part is that the memories are still so fresh on his mind- like open wounds that donāt get the chance to recover before theyāre being deepened. He can still feel the phantom touches of Harryās gentle hands over his body, small imprints that are now ingrained in his mind, body, and soul, no matter how much he wishes he can just forget it because it hurts, it hurts so bad.
He never can forget it is the thing. He knows he never will. Those memories- the memories of Harryās hands on his skin, of Harry touching and kissing him so reverently- theyāll never fade away. Theyāre part of him now. Theyāre eternal.
8. Did any real people or events inspire any part of it?
i said it in another ask but all of my fics are inspired somewhat by real life things, people, events, etc because all writers unconsciously add those in because it's what we know. one that comes to mind for this fic is definitely axe throwing!! i did it with my friends in february 2020 and then wrote this fic in may. another is louis loving sour patch kids (because i Love sour patch kids) and how he'd eat one sour patch kid per every 500 words he gets through (eating one sour patch kid for every 150 words written = best motivation fyi). snowball is also a real kitty :') she belongs to a friend of mine! i'm sure there's a lot more but those are what come to mind!!
11: What do you like best about this fic?
ooo good question... i love angsty soulmate fics; they hit so good!! and strangely enough, it was super fun for me to write ā so fun that i literally wrote this fic in four days lol. i think i loved exploring the concept of soulmates and how they inherently aren't a choice, but at the end of the day... they are. because love is a choice. (as in, committing yourself to someone and putting effort into a relationship is a choice... not that you can choose who you fall for, if at all!) harry's realization about this toward the end of the fic is probably my absolute favorite part of this fic!!! soulmates may tell you who you're supposed to be with but it's you that ultimately makes that decision <3 that's also a prevalent theme in my other soulmate fic too!
thank you so much for your interest!!
send me one of my fic titles + a question
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8-02 Hey baby, I was doing some reading yesterday & earlier today. Wanted to share some stuff just so you can read about some interesting things. Like chanting. It's pretty intriguing to me but idk if you'll like it. I was going to journal before work but I didn't give myself enough time. I slept in bc I didn't sleep the other night lol. My life is a mess but at least I have fun with it. Well I try to anyway. I wish I could have you here to relax and calm me down before work. I get so anxious sometimes about things. Never realized how much shit gets me going..worked up I guess you could say? Not really but I'm just OCD af and always on tip. I took a quarter of an addy bc I wanna study a lot tn. But it gets my heart racing still lol. I can definitely concentrate and focus more bc I truly do have adhd but I think it fucks w that heart murmur i have. Idk I like taking it & smoking too. I was emotional & soooo horny the last couple of days and I started my period i think? It might just be light but that's good! I hate how periods fuck up your hormones and make you so emotional lol. A little hope to not be negative & thinking I can't have kids. Even tho you said you can't bc you've blown in a lot of girls and nothing's happened -.- you're the only bf I've ever felt protective over. I think it's bc you're promiscuous:p. It'd be nice to have a conversation about life and share a bowl w you. Get fucked before work and be in a better mood ;) ughhh I can't wait! Do you remember sending me a pic back in like November I think? It was on our fb mssgs & it makes me wet just thinking about you bending me over the bed D: I was sad this am just in pain from yoga yesterday and I just want to be fit and healthy. Hate that one workout takes a week to not be in excruciating pain. Makes me stick to my diet more tho. Yoga and meditating with you:) Alan you're the best thing that has ever happened to me and I can't wait to be the mother of your babies one day<3 I reread your last letter again. Makes me have a piece of you in the day. Woke up and read it, it gets me through a lot of days. I feel like I can't be as positive as can be if I don't smoke. You've been sober since before New Years... and I'm just so fucking proud of you, dealing with everything the way you have been. I mean it when I say that it has proven to me that you really have grown up and became a man. I know you aren't the person you were 5 yrs ago, a yr ago or even since January... You are still my rock & strength even though you're locked up. Still my reason for my effort in life. Thank you for making me feel like everything is okay. Even if you don't say it all the time, I know you're a hard headed, strong mother fucking person and I'm in love with you. I think I make you a better person and you do the same for me. You're my motivation babe and I thought about that while I was bummin' out earlier. It's why I read your letter :) but when I had that thought "Fast Car" came on and it was like a sign :b not trying to sound gullible and silly but it was like a "relax your shoulders, breathe, you're going to get what you deserve. Everything is going to be okay." It was like I had you pulling me in and reassuring me I'm not kidding. I remember standing in front of the mirror or cooking in the kitchen and you'd wrap your hands around me from behind. God I love you... I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Please don't fuck me over. I gotta get to work:( but it's my ticket to come see you!!! I'll link everything later to this letter... I take pics through out the day and wanna just check in like you're apart of my everyday life. Love you so fucking much!! 4:20 & I think I might play with myself before work(; write later babes:* 8-07 so it's been a couple of days now and I'm sorry I haven't wrote to you. Im doing a bunch of interviews and what not through out the day still. I just got hired at bdubs & it's the closest restaurant to campus so I know I'll make good $!!!! I have a couple interviews this week for nannying & massaging. Things are finally coming together!! We have both weathered the storm and I truly believe we are going to get rewarded for being so positive and understanding our circumstances. I'm at my first day of training at bdubs..I was doing paperwork and I saw that sammi requested to follow me on instagram, I seriously got tears in my eyes. I didn't know if she hated me or not. I told her to call me sometime when she is able to, it has made my whole day! I'm hoping you call tonight but idk what your sanctioned days were. I'm guessing fri-sun but idk..so many meetings and stuff rn I'm trying to stay on top of everything. Irdk how moms do their daily stuff, their husbands stuff, housework, providing/ working, bills, baby, drs, everything! I need to learn how to manage my time better. I wish i could teleport to you & spoon you in your bed tn. Please stay positive about October Alan, it's the only thing I'm holding onto. I hope you like all of the stuff I'm going to share w you. I thought it might make you think a little more hopeful. I've been talking to your mom quite a bit lately, would you want me to ask her to come when I visit the weekend of the 24th? We are about to start touring & what not but I wanted to check in w you. I love you so much Alan<3 -Chanting protects us from negative energies: In the state of meditation the mind is thoughtless. In this state, some negative energy can trouble us. On the other hand, a protective sheath that wards off negative energies is formed around us when we chant.-Nowadays many people practice meditation as a psychological self-improvement technique rather than a tool for spiritual growth. the benefits derived from such meditation are also at a psychological level. Based on the above comparison, for spiritual growth in todayās era, chanting is of greater value. If you already meditate with the intention of achieving spiritual growth, we recommend you complement it with the spiritual practice of chanting.-Om Mani Padme Hum:The two syllables, "padme", meaninglotus, symbolize wisdom. ... Thus the six syllables, "om mani padme hum", mean that in dependence on the practice of a path which is an indivisible union of method and wisdom, you can transform your impure body, speech, and mind into the pure exalted body, speech, and mind of a Buddha"-Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu mantra: "May all beings everywhere be happy and free, and may the thoughts, words, and actions of my own life contribute in some way to that happiness and to that freedom for all.ā *(I used to "pray" or ask the universe everyday to for 'the world get happier and safer each day. & whatever happens to me, I'm able to walk away with a smile on my face' I have said the same thing since I was like around 10 yo.) -You should reach the large bead (or tassel) after 108 repetitions. When you do so, it is traditional to turn the beads around and continue in the opposite direction. Now repeat your mantra silently 108 times, moving one bead at a time, as before. Meditate for a few minutes. Do this by sitting quietly and envisioning your chosen form of the divine within your heart or at the point on your forehead between your eyes. If thoughts come, let them come, but realize that you are not your thoughts, and gently dismiss them.!!!!!!!!*(THIS IS THE BEST SENTENCE I HAVE READ) -Increase the number of mantra repetitions and amount of time in meditation as you have the time and inclination to do so, and are able to do with concentration.You may also repeat your mantra silently throughout the day as often as possible!- Mantra recitation, which is called japa (āmutteringā) in Sanskrit, has been an important aspect of Yoga practice since Vedic times. It consists of the repetition of the same mantra, which can be composed of a single syllable (e.g., om) or a string of mantric sounds (e.g., om namah shivaya). As Patanjali reminds us, the yogic path is propelled by practice and dispassion, and significantly, the Sanskrit term for practiceāabhyasaāmeans ārepetition.ā Through repetition we create either positive or negative habit patterns. Mantra japa produces positive mental tracks, helping us to gradually overcome spiritual darkness. It is a powerful technique for focusing the mind and for harnessing the body/mindās subtle energies in completing the yogic path of self-transformation. As stated in the concluding chapter of the Kularnava Tantra: āJapa is so-called because it removes the sin accumulated in thousands of lives and because it reveals the Supreme Deity.ā The greatest āsin,ā of course, is ignorance of our own true nature.-I will put the Law of Least Effort into effect by making a commitment to take the following steps: " 1. I will practice Acceptance. Today I will accept people, situations, circumstances, and events as they occur. I will know that this moment is as it should be, because the whole universe is as it should be. I will not struggle against the whole universe by struggling against this moment. My acceptance is total and complete. I accept things as they are this moment, not as I wish they were. 2. Having accepted things as they are, I will take Responsibility for my situation and for all those events I see as problems. I know that taking responsibility means not blaming anyone or anything for my situation (and this includes myself). I also know that every problem is an opportunity in disguise, and this alertness to opportunities allows me to take this moment and transform it into a greater benefit. 3. Today my awareness will remain established in Defenselessness. I will relinquish the need to defend my point of view, and I will feel no need to persuade others to accept my point of view. I will remain open to all points of view and not be rigidly attached to any one of them."- Least effort is expended when your actions are motivated by love, because nature is held together by the energy of love. When you seek power and control over other people, you waste energy. When you seek money or power for the sake of the ego, you spend energy chasing the illusion of happiness instead of enjoying happiness in the moment. When you seek money for personal gain only, you cut off the flow of energy to yourself, and interfere with the expression of nature's intelligence. But when your actions are motivated by love, there is no waste of energy. When your actions are motivated by love, your energy multiplies and accumulates , and the surplus energy you gather and enjoy can be channeled to create anything that you want, including unlimited wealth.-This leads us to the second component of the Law of Least Effort: responsibility. What does responsibility mean? Responsibility means not blaming anyone or anything for your situation, including yourself. Having accepted this circumstance, this event, this problem, responsibility then means the ability to have a creative response to the situation as it is now. All problems contain the seeds of opportunity, and this awareness allows you to take the moment and transform it to a better situation or thing. Once you do this, every so-called upsetting situation will become an opportunity for the creation of something new and beautiful, and every so-called tormentor or tyrant will become your teacher. Reality is an interpretation. And if you choose to interpret reality in this way, you will have many teachers around you, and many opportunities to evolve. Whenever confronted by a tyrant, tormentor, teacher, friend, or foe (they all mean the same thing) remind yourself, "This moment is as it should be." Whatever relationships you have attracted in your life at this moment are precisely the ones you need in your life at this moment. There is a hidden meaning behind all events, and this hidden meaning is serving your own evolution.-There are three components to the Law of Least Effort: three things you can do to put this principle of "do less and accomplish more" into action. Acceptance simply means that you make a commitment: "Today I will accept people, situations, circumstances, and events as they occur." This means I will know that this moment is as it should be, because the whole universe is as it should be. This moment -- the one you're experiencing right now -- is the culmination of all the moments you have experienced in the past. This moment is as it is because the entire universe is as it is.- If the karma is complete, this will be part of what you release. If it is not, patterns can be reset this month to reflect a higher vibration so that unfinished business and karma can be completed or continued in a way that comes from a place of more love, compassion and forgiveness. This includes self-karma, those deep hard lessons we all came in with this lifetime whether they are physical conditions, emotional or intellectual challenges, or just simply difficult personality traits. Whatever has been anchored through your childhood wounds and imprinting has become part of your patterning. That energetic patterning is your belief system that informs the quantum field around you to manifest certain aspects of your life. Much of this becomes automatic and unconscious until you have an opportunity like we do this month to go within, dig it up, re-evaluate its relevance, and make a change. So, the bottom line is that this is a great month to reset and recreate who you are, what you want to manifest, and how you want to show up in the world. It is going to take work, commitment, discipline and a true willingness to change.- You may also find yourself resurrecting old hobbies or projects or even collaborations with others especially around the arts and music. That garden that you dreamed of planting a few years ago may suddenly manifest because it is the right time. Or that business deal you gave up on will come around again with fresh energy and new insight. Be inspired by the possibilities and be creative in your problem solving and reconfiguring of what runs your physical life. It may be time to retire some aspects and rekindle others. Take a risk and take advantage of what comes your way, always willing for reevaluation and reset.- *(there's a total solar eclipse where the moon blocks the whole sun aug 21st) And speaking of eclipses, even if you are not in an area where they are visible, it would be very very wise to honor them in some way as powerful allies for reset. Try to take time around the eclipses, especially the solar one on the 21st, without interference from your schedule. āWe will not actually see the results of what these eclipses have offered us until later in the fall. But you can be sure that if you put the intention into what you want reset, you will get their support.ā-When you become defensive, blame others, and do not accept and surrender to the moment, your life meets resistance. Any time you encounter resistance, recognize that if you force the situation, the resistance will only increase. You don't want to stand rigid like a tall oak that cracks and collapses in the storm. Instead, you want to be flexible, like a reed that bends with the storm and survives. Completely desist from defending your point of view. When you have no point to defend, you do not allow the birth of an argument. If you do this consistently -- if you stop fighting and resisting -- you will fully experience the present, which is a gift. Someone once told me, "The past is history, the future is a mystery, and this moment is a gift. That is why this moment is called 'the present'." If you embrace the present and become one with it, and merge with it, you will experience a fire, a glow, a sparkle of ecstasy throbbing in every living sentient being. As you begin to experience this exultation of spirit in everything that is alive, as you become intimate with it, joy will be born within you, and you will drop the terrible burdens and encumbrances of defensiveness, resentment, and hurtfulness. Only then will you become lighthearted, carefree, joyous, and free. In this joyful, simple freedom, you will know without any doubt in your heart that what you want is available to you whenever you want it, because your want will be from the level of happiness, not from the level of anxiety or fear. You do not need to justify; simply declare your intent to yourself, and you will experience fulfillment, delight, joy, freedom, and autonomy in every moment of your life. *Literally, I believe I got you back into my life bc I wanted it so bad. You are proof that you can "get whatever you want bc you want it from the level of your happiness" I knew I would have you back one day honestly, I just had doubt. I knew it even before last April when you told me I couldn't let you go bc you were the one for me. You just had to grow up. I moved to Colorado to let you do that. -research tells us that every thought and emotion creates a chemcial reaction because it immediately changes our neurochemicals that affect our mental, physical and spiritual health,Your mantra should be your own; something that resonates with you and helps you recenter in the moment. Keep in mind that what de-stresses one person may not be calming for another. So stick with what works, even if itās something as silly as āHakuna Matata.ā How could this 90s mantra not make you smile? Plus ā it means no worries ... for the rest of your days.:) āThis Too Shall Pass.ā While itās important to live in the present moment, itās also comforting to remind yourself the stress youāre enduring now is temporary ā clear skies are on the horizon.āMake It Work.ā Tim Gunnās power phrase is poignant: Take a deep breath and remember that youāre in control and thereās always a solution. Don't worry be happy(: & ofcourse from bob Marleys song "3 little birds" Don't worry about a thing, Cause every little thing gonna be all right. Singin: don't worry about a thing, Cause every little thing gonna be all right! It's gonna be be alright man. Rise up this mornin, Smiled with the risin sun, Three little birds Pitch by my doorstep Singin sweet songs Of melodies pure and true, Sayin, (this is my message to you-ou-ou:) Singin: don't worry bout a thing, Cause every little thing gonna be all right.Singin: don't worry (dont worry) bout a thing,Cause every little thing gonna be all right! * hope you sang that with a Jamaican accent too :) alright who knows how many stamps this will be but this was the best way for me to show you that I'm thinking about you and doing everything I can to help you be positive & assured. I'm by your side baby. No matter what I'm going to wait for you. 8-08 i love you
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