#send me to the ward!

[4k-starbound-k4]

UGH! I WANT TO BE PASSED AROUND THE HAIKYUU TEAMS!!! Please, Please, Please lord let it be my turn. Let me experience the grimy treatment of athletic men! I want to be the talk of the gc! 😖🙏

Seijoh, Nekoma, Kurasuno and Inarazaki

[akiacia]

post-credit domestics (⚠️ mildly saucy doodles below the cut)

[trans-axolotl]

content note: discussion of suicide.

this next monday will be the six year anniversary of losing one of my friends to suicide.

when he died, my high school barely mentioned his death, even though for other students who died by things like car crashes or illness, there were so many public expressions of grief. they believed that having any memorials for a student who died by suicide would encourage other people to die the same way. in their rush to erase the circumstances of his death, they erased the memory of his life.

there are so many things i am angry at that high school about in terms of how they treated mental health (mandatory reporting and collaborating with cops, their refusal to recognize the ways in which that system led to peer-to-peer crisis support, their refusal to recognize the ways that trying to keep each other alive through trial and error was scary and exhausting, carceral disciplinary policies, etc etc etc). but i think one of the things i am still angriest about is the way they enforced shame around his death. it felt like they were retroactively blaming him for the constellation of circumstances that made suicide an option in his life. it felt like they were blaming those of us who missed him and cared about him and wanted to grieve him. it made those of us still there who were actively suicidal feel even more scared about the reaction if we did reach out for help from one of those mythical safe adults.

as an adult now involved in psych abolition/mad liberation work, it makes me so fucking mad to see the ways in which he was discarded by people in authority positions. and the older i get, the more options i have found in my life for making sense of the world and finding healing and community and support which were never available to him because he died when he was 16 and the only things offered to him were a carceral psychiatric system that blamed him for his own fucking death. it feels so incredibly unfair.

i miss him and i think i always will; i can't remember his laugh or the sound of his voice or his favorite color any more and that aches. this grief is so heavy and it feels harder in a new way each year, when i become older than he will ever be. sometimes meeting new comrades or seeing new anticarceral suicide support models hurts because i wish so fucking bad that we had that back then. i remember how close we came to losing even more people that year and i know it is simple fucking luck that i'm still here when he's not.

i remember another letter (never sent) that i wrote to a friend while they were in an ICU bed after a suicide attempt when i didn't know if they would live or not. i have spent so much time in the past 10 years begging for anything to keep me and my friends alive, but even in that letter i knew that there is so much fucking violence that is hidden beneath psychiatric logics of cure and safety that promise a "solution" to suicide. I knew that institutionalization, coercion, and shame would not have helped build a life more liveable for him or **** or any of the people i've loved and lost since.

there needs to be more fucking options for care and support that aren't so incredibly cruel to suicidal people. i know so many people doing incredible work in alternatives, peer respite, a million different frameworks for healing and liberation. but it makes me so mad every day i have to live in a world where there are still people restrained, locked up in psych wards, having all autonomy and personhood taken away from them. knowing there are dozens of people every day getting blamed for their deaths the same way he was blamed for his.

i miss him. i cared so fucking much for him. and he died by suicide, and all of those things are true. he has been dead for 6 years and he lived before that and the people who loved him want to remember all of him; our celebrations of his life should not require hiding the way that he died.

Image description: [1000 origami cranes in all different colors and patterns that are tied together in strings of 25]

(these were the 1000 cranes we made to give to his parents, in memorial and recognition of how much he meant to us.)

[gh0styfr13nd]

OH MY GOD

So my take on the sign situation is that it’s finally scar realizing he’s waited long enough and finally having enough. The straw that broke the camel’s back and all. While I don’t think scar hates grian I do think that he isn’t happy. Meanwhile grian is realizing finally he wants scar. He regrets it all and he doesn’t know how to fix it so he tries to change it, rewrite things if you will. And scar is done with it. Scar is finally done with grian.

And grian doesn’t know how to cope.

[ww2yaoi]

now I’m thinking about a webgott fic set in holland during those celebratory eindhoven scenes. web is getting chased by dutch girls like he’s the fucking beatles in a hard day’s night. there’s lipstick ALL OVER his face. and where the hell was joe in those scenes… why didn’t we see him celebrating… maybe he was nawt feeling the vibe at all maybe he was in a mood… anticipating combat, seeing what the nazis have done to these poor people, and he’s hiding out in some dutch house and eating all their food and drinking all their liquour. and maybe web ducks in for shelter. and they’re not really familiar with each other at this point. all joe knows is web is that pain in the ass private from harvard who’s in first platoon. some pretty rich boy he could not give two shits about. and right now he looks absolutely RIDICULOUS. like there are red and pink kiss marks smudged over both of his cheeks and his pretty mouth and boy does it do something to joe… but he will never admit it to himself in a MILLION years. and they have a one-on-one conversation for the first time ever. maybe web wonders what joe’s problem is and why he isn’t out celebrating. joe wants to tell him to fuck off but web is trying to understand… and no one else tries to understand. and then eventually web attempts to wash the lipstick off his face but he keeps missing a spot. and joe gets so tired of his whining and complaining that he just grabs web and wipes the lipstick off himself. and oh…. oh shit…. there’s something there. but nothing can happen and they pull away from each other. then web leaves, but he’ll be lingering in joe’s mind for a while

[dicctor-blog]

I really liked a little clown version of tintin that @professorcalculusstanaccount made and got incredibly carried away... this is like the first piece I've rendered in a whileeee wheewwwww

[milolovesbmc]

Gruesome Playground Injuries except House is Doug's doctor. That's it. That's the post

[gomzdrawfr]

Itching to dip my hands into a new AU for PriceRaven but no visions or ideas yet

[benitsu69official]

i love this scene so much

Midori: 1. Freaks:0

[sirofreak]

Some Unwind characters with pretty outfits from pintrest

Full pages under the cut!

[p0cket-watch]

Oh. Oh god. Thinking about being a vampire temptress again. Thinking about someone going deep and never coming back up. Thinking about messing with them as they smile dreamily. And I'll bite them again and again and take nothing, because I want this human to last. Again.

[trans-axolotl]

this time last year, it was my seventh week institutionalized and it was one of the hardest weeks to survive. one of my dear friends said later that they saw the light completely go out of my eyes, and i think it was the week i cried the most. i remember desperately wanting to go outside, and feeling so much despair about not being able to experience the last few days of summer outside. i felt violated. it was finally starting to sink in that i was going to spend several more months locked up, and the extent to which my autonomy was taken away.

and then another patient who could go outside brought me back a pinecone, and i nearly started sobbing. that tiny kindness meant everything. even despite all the violence of confinement, we found ways to exist together.

today i walked outside and saw so, so many pinecones. it's been a year, and i survived, and all i can think is how much love i have for fellow psych survivors and how much i wish we were all free.

[starlightandmagic]

So idk if it’s just me but it seems to me like there’s a sudden influx of trump supporters EVERYWHERE online, being very bold and very loud, and based on arguments alone I’ve noticed that you trump supporters are in dire need of help. So, I’m doing a fundraise for you guys and I’ll be donating braincells, please come collect them asap, they’re completely free you don’t even have to do anything but promise to use them, it looks like you desperately need them 😭

[stormyoceans]

SOBBING

[differenteagletragedy]

I feel like you could ask Baxter to take you to the Taylor Swift concert and he'd agree because he wanted to do something nice for you, not because he's a fan or anything, but early on in the show he hears a song* that hits just right and he spends the rest of the show crying and screaming and on the biggest emotional journey then has to stop and buy a t-shirt on the way out.

*It's "The Archer," the chorus gets him a little choked up but the bridge gets him sobbing.

[lostreverb]

"it's all my fault" ☹️

"it's okay i'm here" 😁

that fuck ass smile tate dgaf at ALL he's so SICK?? 😭😭😭