#send me more Hindsight asks they reignite my will to live | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

iworeheelsforthis · 5 years ago

Text

The Boy Next Door

After breaking up with my boyfriend over the phone in September while walking on my favorite beach in California, I felt heartbroken. For an entire 36 hours. I know that sounds sociopathic but the writing was on the wall for months, if not the entire relationship. He meant well but was raised by a father who valued his riches over relationships and a mother who had never wanted children. He didn't have much of a chance of being a good man having been raised by wolves. And if you Google their names, they're wolves. Lawsuit after lawsuit with every neighbor they've ever had, a contentious divorce, the articles go on and paint quite a picture of the in-laws I'm so grateful I'll never have.

So when I found myself back East visiting my grandma as I typically do each summer, I was elated to meet her beefcake next door neighbor on the beach the day I arrived, one week after my breakup on a West coast beach.

Let me preface this with the fact that once upon a time my dad had been my grandma's next door neighbor, whom she introduced to her daughter, my mom. My meet-cute had the makings of a pretty sweet rom-com part 2.

I took a redeye and landed on a Friday morning energized and ready to spend time with my spritely grandma (she swims in the ocean every day, comes in #1 at Bridge, and people assume she's my mom) and my mom (who people assume is my sister) who was on an extended visit with her. It was going to be a long girls weekend in a sunny coastal town in Massachusetts where I've spent most of my summers.

We made our way to the beach in the late morning. I was unshowered, in a red bikini and hyped up on coffee. About 20 minutes after I planted my beach chair in the sand, I looked up from under my hat to see a hot guy my age, with longish romance novel curly locks, a built hockey body and a Greek glow to his skin. WHO WAS THIS!?

He quickly looked me up and down in a non-creepy but more of a curious way and introduced himself while saying hi to my mom and grandma. It was clear that there was an immediate chemistry and for the first time in 10 months I felt an electricity run through my body. I had just been in a mostly sexless relationship with a man I wasn't that into so to have this hunk show up a week after that ended to reignite my loins was a welcome surprise.

We made small talk - I live in California, he just bought a condo in that complex in October, I'm a recruiter, he had his own strategic consultancy. We both work from home and had the flexibility to be on the beach on a Friday. Lucky us.

When my mom, grandma and I walked back to her condo, I said goodbye to him and he said he'd see me down there again the next day. Once in private I immediately asked my grandma why she had never mentioned her sexy new neighbor?! She thought he was much younger than I am (potential insult to my youthful charm but, ok) and wasn't sure he was my type (dripping masculinity is everyone's type), plus I live 3,000 miles away. Ok, fair enough.

The next day we saw Boston Boy down at the beach. He started talking to me but I was suddenly distracted by a woman yelling "Is that goddamn ***** (my name)?!" and I begrudgingly walked over to say hello. It was the alcoholic mother (in that same complex) of a guy I had briefly dated about 5 years ago. Yes, that makes things semi-complicated but hey, a girl is allowed to date the younger men in her grandma's neighborhood. That guy had legit Asperger's and it did not work out.

After I accidentally brushed off Boston Boy, he became standoffish the rest of the day and took off on his kayak. When my mom and grandma went out to run errands at the end of the day, I showered, put on makeup and wore the cutest dress I had packed. In between bouts of blowdrying my hair I'd peek out of the window to see if he was walking up from the beach. Finally, he appeared and I ran downstairs and out to the street to catch him. "Hey! What are you up to tonight?" I asked (and semi-surprised with my forthcomingness). "Hey! I was going to go to the gym. What are you up to?" I said I wanted to see if he wanted to hang out and he did. He asked me to give him a few minutes to get ready and very shortly after he reappeared at my grandma's front door in a tank top, his wet swim trunks and white sunscreen still on his face. I told him he could have more time to get ready but he sweetly said he wanted to spend as much time with me as possible.

We walked along the water to one of my favorite restaurants, ordered drinks, and got to know each other. We realized we had a lot in common and the physical attraction was clearly on point. We just seemed to click. I was planning to meet my mom and grandma for dinner around the corner and they suggested I bring him along to join us, which I did. When we walked into the restaurant they were definitely stunned to see his outfit. In hindsight, it was ridiculous. He looked like a Jersey Shore cast member. Fortunately he was adorable and endearing and they enjoyed their time with him. But they still talk about that outfit (and it still haunts my dreams).

My mom and grandma insisted that he and I walk home together while they drove home. The moment we walked out of the restaurant he asked what I was looking for in a partner. It was refreshing. I had just broken up with someone who lied to me for 10 months about wanting marriage and babies and this guy was straight up asking me on our first date what I wanted. I had nothing to lose so I was honest in that I had just broken up with someone who didn't want what I want and what I want is marriage and a baby and $10 million dollars, an Italian villa, and 5 trained golden retrievers, if that's in the cards. He said he wanted the same things - he was divorced, didn't have kids yet and was hopeful for a second chance.

We got back to the neighborhood and kissed. I went back to my grandma's place, giddy as could be. The next afternoon we made our way back down to the beach and he was there with his mom, who was as sweet as could be. Also, my Asperger Ex was there. His mother had clearly told him that I was in town so he drove from his town to make a surprise cameo on the beach and then acted all surprised to see me. It was fairly awkward balancing Boston Boy with Asperger Ex and trying to not let on to either of them what the story was. My grandma asked Boston Boy to take photos of us three women as Asperger Ex looked on, gawking and jealous.

That night Boston Boy and I went to dinner, then back to his place where we slept together. It was sooner than I usually sleep with someone but I needed it. He was, in my mind, a weekend fling, a rebound, and a manly man. He made me feel beautiful and when he easily picked me up with one arm, I felt tiny. My small ex made me feel neither of those things. I needed my palate cleansed and it was. And the next night, more sex and a sweet send off, both of us appreciative of our time together.

My mom and I flew home the next morning and a few days later he called me saying that he's a straight shooter and thinks we potentially had something. He asked if I could I come back to explore it. He knew I work from home and my grandma offered to let me stay at her place while she went to Florida for the winter. I threw caution to the wind and booked a 2 week visit there a few weeks later.

It was an amazing two weeks. And it was hard. And I didn't sleep (East coast storms are real and I am already afraid of the dark). And work was crazy (I was working 14 hour days). And I was lonely (Boston Boy was next door but sometimes wouldn't reach out for a few days, which was awkward). And my insomnia was so bad that the silver lining is I got off my sleep meds because nothing worked. And I had really fun and passionate sex (really fun!). And I learned that he thought I was Jewish (wait, what?!), which he is and he thought that even if I wasn't that I'd covert and I won't so we actually can't be together. But we had two weeks of fun dates like a Sinatra Dinner Show in Boston, a Halloween night in Salem (where Hocus Pocus was filmed and I sat next to a woman with real horns at a bar), a hayride (driven by a guy dressed as Slash) at a real pumpkin patch, a concert and hotel night in Boston, so many good dinners, and lots of long meaningful life talks. Hanging over us was the fact that I'm not Jewish and never would be. His ex was Episcopalian and he had agreed to raise their children that way when they were married. Now that he had a new lease on life, he only wanted to raise his children Jewish and he wanted a wife who either was Jewish or would convert. As much as I wanted to be the Charlotte to his Harry in Sex and the City, I couldn't be. Not for him.

After I got home to California we had a conversation where we concluded that I was not about to don a yarmulke or move to Massachusetts. I am tremendously grateful for the experience I had with him and also my newfound appreciation for California, my undeniable freedom of religion and the ability to be a lifelong Shiksa.

0 notes