#send herself anon hate mail just to make it seem like it was either me or one of my fans

[oreana-galena]

Viewing this about relationships in general... yeah. Just yeah. lol

[kyluxtrashpit]

No morals just memes anon returns with a truly wild update.

Crime Spree is running for office (local). And IM his running partner.

He said it’s because I give such wholesome vibes. And he did ask Meme Lord herself. And she said “what, with my reputation? Ah yes, the ex cult leader, currently working for the mob (long running joke about that company) of her own free will, (fun fact, upon hearing about the trade she made, her mum, my mother in law now, paid out the debt with interest, chewed her out, and demanded that meme lord come work for her, to which she said “eww, hell no”) who a not huge but probably statistically significant portion of the town this either thinks is fae, a warlock or the actual reaper (oh that’s an interesting story too) is a great look running beside some ex actual gang leader (it’s now and has been for a while, officially just a hangout spot and game club).

Man, small town, old money drama is something else… I love when wealthy people fight but holy crap being in the middle of it and married to one is trip.

Anyways, up until the other week, I thought meme lord was sitting this one out.

That was until this week I caught her. Literally as she jumped a fence and almost landed directly on me.

Doing what, you ask?

Attacking someone with a hateful anti pride sign at a charity event disguised as a supporter of the opposition. Shouting about how once [redacted] is in office, he will ‘run all you types out of town and it’ll be good riddance’.

What she had to say about it? “They’ve been sending plenty of hate mail and the like. Would this really be a stretch? ‘I was fearing for my life when one of those, you knows, were yelling in my face to leave or were going to have a problem. What if they followed me home?’ heh, I wouldn’t be shocked”

But [redacted] is definitely going to have one hell of a time explaining that one. Especially since, Meme Lord is right. I wouldn’t be shocked.

This only because one of [redacted]s supporters slashed Crime Sprees tires to stop him from appearing at an event and then when he showed up anyways, because Meme Lord is his sister (in every way except for blood, huge relief and explains a lot about their relationship) drives like a goddamn psychopath, they tried to run up and pepper spray him too before they realised who’s car he just pulled up in.

Fast forward to now, I am making cupcakes for a fundraiser. Meme Lord is working on a recipe with my boss. It’s crazy how moments of chaos can go from 0 to 100 back to 0 like that

Omg every time I get an ask from you, it never disappoints lmao. Your life does not feel real, like I haven’t watched succession but this feels like some small town version of it. Tbh though good on her for fucking with bigots, that’s the best use possible of such chaotic power. Though it seems your local elections are much more exciting than those where I live sksjdjs

Good luck I guess though! Both with the election and all the general chaos, as always lmao

[kecpdriving]

Illicit Affairs - Aaron Hotchner x Fem!Reader

pls like & reblog & pls send me asks (i’ve turned anon on now) about how you feel ily <3

note: this is not a soulmate au, but there's soulmate energy happening so it moves fast-ish? also lmk if you wanted to be added to the tag list.

previous chapters

Chapter three: I’ll be awake and I’ll be with you.

THROUGHOUT THE LAST MONTH OR SO You and Aaron had exchanged flirtatious letters between each other. They were filled with admirations and stories. Aaron wrote about how badly he craved to hold you - to touch you in every way imaginable. He told you stories about when he thinks of your beauty and your laugh while working a case. 

You wrote how this was exhilarating. Leaving the letters where Haley could possibly notice was thrilling to you. It was fun now. You were seeing them everyday now. You wrote too Aaron in one letter that you needed to be alone with him. You wanted to see that rare smile you and Jack cause up close and personal. You told him that you needed to hear the words he wrote whispered in her ear. 

They got the letters every night when you would leave. You would leave Aaron’s in his coat pocket when hugging them goodbye, in their mail addressed to Aaron only, or in his office on the desk. Aaron had the easy way out. He put the one he wrote to you in with your nightly pay. This had been your only way to be romantic with each other. The only way to flirt. Of course you texted with each other. Aaron wasn’t big on texting though and Haley knew that. And he knew Haley better than anyone, Aaron knew she would be suspicious if he suddenly was glued to his phone. Plus, you told him to not worry about texting you at night when it was time for him to be with Jack. 

You did talk on the phone a lot. Almost every night around eleven or twelve. Even when Aaron had been away on a case, he would still call.  One night about four days ago, one of Aaron’s agents heard him telling you that he missed you so much and how he couldn’t wait to see you. You laughed when hearing the panic in his voice when they heard the agent tease him for flirting with his wife. Only if they knew who he was really talking to.

You were finishing up writing your letter for tonight while watching the news on the tv. A big storm was hitting and it did not look pretty. You hated storms much like Jack who was sitting a distance away from the window but still watching the harsh rain fall and the big gusts of wind blow trash cans around and branches off trees. It was to get worse. Thunder clapped loudly in the sky and that’s when Jack ran over to you and cuddled into your side. You could see the bright lightning bolts in the sky light up what usually is a pretty sunny street.

“Hey, Jack,” you rubbed his back to comfort him. He cried into you and broke your heart. “Can I tell you a secret?”

“What secret?” He peeked his head out of your side with tear stained eyes. You frowned and wiped the tears away from the boy's eyes and dried his cheeks.

You picked Jack up into your lap and faced the window while sitting on the couch. “I’m also afraid of storms. When I was about your age though, My Papa told me that when it would thunder it meant all the Angels in heaven were bowling. And when it’s really loud and there’s a bolt of lightning that means they got a strike! It helped me to not be so scared of storms.” you explained the old tale parents would tell their children to not be scared anymore. you watched as Jack relaxed. He didn’t seem so afraid anymore.

Jack turned to you and pointed out of the window, “Can we watch them play?”

“We sure can! We just have to stay here and not go close to the window, okay?�� Jack nodded and laid against you. They stayed like that for a few hours while Jack told  stories about random things he’s either made up or stories about his dad. He loved that man so much and it warmed your heart. Maybe one day you could love Aaron just as much. Jack was dozing off in your lap and to be quite honest, you too was dozing off. Watching the rainfall for so long felt so relaxing. Right before you were about to fall into a slumber, the front door opened with a huff and puff of someone who could only be Aaron. Like always, he put his keys down, his briefcase, and his coat away.

“Hey there sleepy heads,” you smiled lazily and Jack waved at his father who was approaching jack and you. Everything in Aaron wanted to lay down with you and just fall asleep, but he couldn’t. Something within him was so happy at the sight of you and Jack cuddled together. “Hey buddy, go to your room, okay? I’ll be up soon.” Aaron shook Jack and he listened. Jack ran right up the stairs.

you sat up and smiled at Aaron while yawning and stretching your arms a bit. “Sorry for nodding off a bit. I know I’m supposed to have all eyes on him. We were watching the rain- I told him the old angels tale. It’s 8:30, you’re home late.”you realized the time when looking at the tv box in front of them. “I literally thought Jack and I were sitting there for like twenty minutes.” you laughed to herself.

“Don’t worry about nodding off. You looked tired this morning,”  you were exhausted. Lately, you’ve been tossing and turning and only getting a few hours of sleep every night. It was probably from stress and your mind constantly spinning with thoughts. “Haley should be home in a few. She was about ten minutes from here when she called me right before I walked in.”

“Okay. Jack already ate. He’s all set for bed. Just needs to brush his teeth and- Ah!” You were cut off by yourself when you screamed at the world's loudest thunderclap. It sounded as if every house around them fell down. Covering your mouth from pure shock and embarrassment, you looked up at Aaron who was laughing at you. “It’s not funny!”

He finished up laughing and dragged his hand down his face that rested on his chin, “Yes, it is. It’s okay, we’re all afraid of something. Now just listen to those angels bowl while I go get Jack ready for bed.”

Aaron went upstairs and maybe two minutes later Haley walked in absolutely drenched in rain. You had gotten up and collected your things when Haley stopped you. “Honey, I can’t let you drive in that. My car was slipping all over the road. I couldn’t see through my windshield even with my wipers on. It’s bad out there. We have a guest room, please stay here tonight. It’s bad out there. Aaron won’t care if you stay.” No, Haley, he most certainly will not care.

You looked out the window to see how bad it actually was outside. It was bad and it was only getting worse. looking at Haley who was awaiting for your answer and took a deep breath. “That would be nice, Haley, thank you.”

“Awesome. I’ll go set up the guest room.” Haley was off to the room down the hall near Aaron’s office. you put your bag back down and keys beside it. She hung her coat and left her shoes by the door where they had been all day long. Aaron had come down the stairs dressed in black joggers, a plain t-shirt and some socks. It made you smile to see him dressed so casually. His hair even looked a bit messy.

“Hey,” you crossed your arms and stood in front of him. “I’m spending the night. Haley didn’t want me to drive in the storm.” you explained the situation to Aaron who smirked. You knew what he was thinking -- you were thinking it too. “I’m grateful. I hate driving in storms.”

Aaron walked past you, following him to the little cart they had with all kinds of alcohol displayed on it. He poured himself a glass of something. It looked like scotch or bourbon but to you they were the same drink. “Sounds nice. We are very glad to have you.” For a minute there you thought he was mad. “Would you like a drink?”

“I shouldn’t. I’m at my workplace.” you chuckled softly. Aaron loved that sound.

“Nonsense. You’re off now, Y/N! Have a drink,” Haley spoke as she rounded the corner. It was like she was listening in on the conversation. She leaned into Aaron and held onto his arm as if she was marking her territory. She kissed his arm lightly and smiled. “You’re our guest, let us treat you.”

“I’ll have a glass of wine, please. Red,” Aaron took out two bottles of wine to have you pick which one you wanted. “Thanks.” Aaron went to go open the bottle and left you and Haley alone together. It felt awkward to just to stand there looking at each other and not talking. And that’s when it dawned on you, youhad the perfect thing to say.

“Haley, do you have any tampons?” Really, Y/N, that’s your best ice breaker? You did need one though. you grinned awkwardly and Haley just laughed and took your hand, leading you to the half bath.

“You look petrified to ask! They’re under the sink in a basket. There are also some pads if you like those. Usually I keep them in here and in the bathroom in Aaron and my bedroom. Don’t be afraid to go in there if you need to.” Haley nodded and let you do what you needed. Did you really look scared? It was probably because you felt so weird knowing you and Aaron were going to have their little chat later in his house with his wife around. When you were done, you walked out of the bathroom to see them sitting in the living room. Aaron looked half dead and Haley did too.

Aaron smiled at her and handed her the glass. “Hey, Y/N, i’m wiped out. I’m going to get some sleep. All three of us sleep like rocks so make yourself at home. Goodnight.”

You nodded at Haley’s announcement, “Alright, get some rest. Goodnight!” And then there were two. Hotch looked at you when he heard the bedroom door shut upstairs and smiled. God, his smile was so nice. He didn’t look like the intimidating FBI agent anymore. He looked relaxed and happy. You were drowning in his eyes. They were so pretty--sometimes they looked green and sometimes brown but never a mixture of the two.

“Penny for your thoughts?” He asked in a low voice while you toyed around with the glass in hand. you stayed silent for a second and looked off to the picture of the family that was placed on the mantle next to the tv. “Hey, talk to me.”

You shook your head and sipped the wine you had left. “Not while she’s still awake okay? This is risky right now because all I want to do is kiss you and run my fingers through your hair. I can’t do that out in the open where she can walk out any second.” You explained and he understood completely. You were right, it was risky. All he wanted to do was lift you into his lap and kiss you all over.

“You’re right. Okay, come to my office in like an hour. Go rest and clear that pretty head of yours.”

“Sounds good to me.”

About an hour or so later you knocked on the door and the knock was so gentle he could have sworn and it was jack. “Come in.”

“Hey,” you stood in the room and closed the door behind you. hour body language was awkward and uncomfortable, not your usual confidant stance. “I uh.. Can I sit?”

“Please, yes, of course.” Aaron motioned towards the chairs in front of his desk. He closed the file he was working on and slipped some papers into the manila folder that had the bureau logo on it.

“Our letters seem so confident and bold and now i can’t even figure out if it’s appropriate to ask you how you are.” Aaron laughed because he felt the same way you did. It was new territory for the both of you. All of this was so new and so wrong.

Aaron didn’t waste a single second before asking the one thing they were both thinking. “Y/N... I- what is this? Obviously there's feelings here. And I mean real feelings.”

You shook your head and looked around the office. “I have no idea, Aaron. I’ve never even felt you. I haven't hugged you, shaken your hand, even brushed my fingers over yours. We’ve never even kissed. How could you ask me what this is when we’ve never even touched. I feel so helpless, she is always around.” You had a frustrated tone in your voice. You wasn’t angry or upset, just confused. You thought Aaron thought you were insane.

“Come here.”

“What?”

“Come here, Y/N.”

you got up, confused, and walked around to Aaron. He turned in his office chair to face you. You were just standing in front of him awkwardly. Taking him all in. You smiled at his casual wear. You wore something similar. To her babysitting duties they have no dress code for you, but to just dress appropriate. You dressed pretty nice for Aaron to notice, but this morning you got your period and threw on leggings, a white tank top that was tight to your skin that was slightly cropped. He took your hands in his and smiled. You could have melted to the ground right then and there. “That's how my hands feel,” he whispered to her.

He let go of your hands and started to feel your body. Starting with your arms, his fingers lightly traveled the soft skin, giving you goosebumps all over. His hands swiftly moved to your torso. He ran them over your back and then to the front again. He felt the skin exposed from your short shirt, and even went riskier and moved his hands under the thin fabric. He didn’t do it in a way that he was going to feel your breasts, he was craving to feel you just as much as you were craving to feel him. He took you by the hips and brought you to sit in his lap.

“And this is what my lips feel like,” he whispered to you as he brought his hands to your cheeks and cupped them. When your lips touched, you could have sworn you felt real sparks. It was the best kiss either of you have ever had in your lives. His lips were rough but tender. Yours were plump and soft against his. Your hand came up and held his wrist, your other hand held your balance on his shoulder. Soon, it started getting heated. He swiped his tongue at your bottom lip for entrance. It was pure bliss for you both to be doing this. his lips found your neck and left wet sloppy kisses down it and onto your collarbones. You were also grinding on each other a bit which earned whimpers and groans from both of you.

“Wait, wait, let’s stop here for now. I can’t-” You fixed your posture while still sitting in his lap. You were catching your when you put her hands on Aaron’s chest and like instinct, he held them.

“I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have been so forward like that. Did this make you uncomfortable?” You loved seeing the caring side of Aaron. He was so gentle.

“No, Aaron. That was amazing. I can’t go any further because I have my period and your wife is upstairs. I can’t have sex with you if she could pop in any minute.”

“So, you do want to have sex eventually?” he smirked and leaned his head on the back of the chair while he held your hands on his chest.

“Well… yes.” You blushed.

“Good.”

You teasingly rolled your eyes, “Shut up! Kiss me again, please.” Their lips met again but this time a lot more softer. One of Aaron’s hands held your thigh and rubbed gentle circles into it with his thumb while his other hand played with your hair. You had your arms wrapped around his neck while your hands played with his hair. Your lips danced together so perfectly. It was as if their only purpose in life was to kiss one another. And in these small romantic moments, all of the stress and anxiety from Haley washed away. It wasn’t even a thought in mind while you held each other close and made out.

“You are a very good kisser, Aaron Hotchner.” you said while breaking the kiss again. you sunk down on him a bit and took his arms to wrap around your waist. You leaned your head on his shoulder and squeezed him tight. He held you tighter in his arms and rubbed your back so softly you almost didn’t feel it. He leaned his head against yours and breathed in your scent. You smelled like vanilla and lavender. “I don’t want to let go.”

“You don’t have to sweet girl,” He whispered to you and left a kiss on the top of your head. “But I can make this a lot more comfortable,” He said as you felt his hands at the bottom of your thighs pick you up and walk over to the small couch he had against the office wall. He laid down with you still in his arms. Finally, you stretched your legs out and fixed your position to be more comfortable. Your head was leant against his chest where you could hear his rapid heartbeat. “This better?”

“A lot better,” He let his hand play with your hair as you held onto his free one. you didn’t want to let go of him but eventually you knew you were going to have to. It felt unfair, but truly it was unfair to Haley. This was happening right under her bedroom and she had no idea. “We have to talk about this.”

“I know.” Aaron sighed and looked down at the girl he held. It felt so nice to be falling for someone again. It had been years and years since his heart raced like this. Since genuine excitement and nervousness arose inside of him because of another person. It had been so long since since he’d actually kissed someone with passion and even longer since he held a person who wasn’t his son close to him like this. He missed having small intimate moments with another person.

Truth be told, him and Haley weren’t as perfect as they made it seem. They had Jack because they both wanted kids but Aaron had fallen out of love with her long before Jack came along four years ago. They, in his opinion, lost their spark. He loved her as a friend, not a forever partner. He once did though. He had no idea where it went and he tried to get it back, but nothing saved his marriage for him. He didn’t have the heart to tell Haley because he knew she still felt the spark-- the love he lost. He knew this didn’t make it any better. Cheating made the heartbreak she’ll feel worse, but when he first saw you, he felt that spark again. He couldn’t waste a minute on it either. You noticed he was in a bit of a daze, so you began laying small kisses on his neck. He giggled softly.

“What are we doing?” You asked. you had a serious tone. “Aaron, you’re married. This is wrong--so wrong. You make me feel different and it scares me. LIke, I don’t even know your exact age by the way. There is so much to talk about here.”

“I’m forty-one. Forty-two in November. And I really want to take you on a few dates and hopefully become your… unfortunately married boyfriend.” Aaron laughed and you rolled your eyes at him.

you sat up but stayed on his lap, your hands cupped his cheeks. He looked so good it was hard to be annoyed with him. “It’s not funny, Aaron.”

“I’m serious. Soon enough I’ll be asking for a divorce. I just need to get certain things squared away and figured out, okay? I want to do this with you, Y/N.” He meant that and you could tell. You hated all of this so much. It wasn’t like you to do something so stupid.

You nodded your head to what he was saying. “Fine. That doesn’t mean I like doing this. Haley is kind and she deserves a lot better.”

“I agree.”

“You really want to try dating? We barely know each other. We call and write notes and sometimes text, I know. But what do we really know?” You questioned.

“Isn’t that the whole point of dating, to get to know each other? And then when you finally are comfortable enough to admit you know each other that's when you establish you’re boyfriend and girlfriend and in a relationship?” He did make fair points.

“That’s true. Okay, we’re dating? Or going to start to? When do either of us even have time for dates?” You stressed. To calm you down Aaron took your hands, kissed both and held them in his own. “Aaron.”

“Friday you’re not working. Haley has the day off. I’ll take you to lunch, okay? Lunch date good for you?” You nodded and kissed him.

“We’re so wrong for this.” you sighed.

“It’ll be okay, sweet girl, I promise. Now let me read that letter you shoved into your pants when I walked into the house earlier.” Damnit, he saw that? You reached into the waistband of your leggings and pulled out the folded sheet of paper. You sat up on top of him again and covered your face with your hands as he read over the words.

DEAR AARON

   Lately, you’re all I think about before I sleep. Your smile, your eyes that are so easy to drown in, your voice. The way you look at Jack when he runs into your arms after a long day. You infiltrated my head, Mr. Hotchner. And I’m so very okay with it. I hope to get you up close and personal soon and to talk all of this over like you’ve been promising. You’ve got me helpless here.

                         Y/N

“You’re very cute, angel. Seems to me you got what you hoped for too.” Aaron smiled at the letter before putting it on the table next to the couch. “You’re all I think about too. I know I say it often but you are so special.” He took you in for a hug and you basically melted into each other.

“You are too, Aaron.”

Some time went by of you just talking about random things and taking breaks to make out and feel each other. When it got later, you began to fall asleep in Aaron’s arms and it killed him to disrupt your relaxation.

“Hey, let me take you to bed, okay?” you whimpered what sounded like no, no. Which made Aaron kiss your head. He moved around a bit and pick you up bridal style. “I know, sweet girl. I don’t want to let you go either. You need sleep.” He spoke as he walked quietly to your room. He gently laid you down into the guest bed. He undid the made bed and let you cuddle into it. You looked so beautiful when relaxed. Aaron bent down and gave you one last kiss before going to his own bed. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Aaron.”

That morning, you woke up to the smell of coffee being brewed. You almost forgot where you were for a moment. Looking out the window next to you, you saw how the storm had finally cleared. Breathing in, you got out of the much too comfortable bed and made your way to the kitchen. Aaron and Haley were standing there drinking coffee. You looked at the clock on your phone and it was only 7:05am. Aaron was reading a file and Haley was doing something on her phone.

“Good morning,” You broke the silence and the couple looked up from what they were doing. Aaron and her were both dressed for their jobs already and damn did he look good. “Thank you for letting me sleep here last night.”

“That’s no problem, sweetheart. Anytime. Coffee?” Haley said with that same gorgeous smile plastered on her face. You just wanted to rip it off. Not because you had something against Haley, no. You liked her. You were just not a morning person.

“I’m okay, thank you. I’m more of an iced coffee with lots of hazelnut creamer and sugar type of person,” Haley giggled. “Is it okay if i just run back to my apartment and freshen up? I live like a 15 minute drive away, I’ll be quick and be back in time before you guys leave.” you asked nicely. you really wanted to shower and change your clothes and brush your teeth and hair. You could only imagine how insane you must look right now. You weren’t the calmest sleeper.

Aaron looked at you and smiled. Looking into his eyes felt different since last night. It felt better than before actually. you almost wanted to run into his arms and give him a big ol’ kiss and tell him to have a great day at work. You couldn’t do that for obvious reasons.

Haley sawolled her coffee and began speaking, “Actually, we decided we’d relieve you for the day. Since you’ve spent every day here for the last month and because you had to sleep here. My sister is on her way. I hope that’s okay! We thought you deserved a break.” Haley explained nervously. You smiled at her kindly.

“That’s very kind of you guys, thank you. I appreciate it a lot. Tell Jack I'll be back to bug him tomorrow! And again, Thank you for everything.” Both Haley and Aaron said you’re welcome and all three said goodbye. You were just about to open the door when you felt a hand on your shoulder.

“Your pay, sweet girl,” He whispered that last part. “Have a nice day.” “You too.”

you got into the car and opened the envelope of money for your note immediately:

DEAR AMARA,

     I’m writing to you from this morning. I scraped my last letter because now I have better things to say. I miss your lips already. And that soft skin. Holding you made me feel the same happiness I feel whenever I hear Jack’s laugh or see him smile. I can’t wait to kiss those pretty lips again, sweet girl. I promise this will all work out and we will be happy, okay? Now, whenever you read this, please text me your favorite type of food so I can figure something out for friday.

                        AARON

you kissed the paper and drove home with a smile on your face with the memories of last night playing over and over in your head.

[iamacolor]

Hey! I don't know if you accept prompts but I'm gonna try... could you write something about Yousef and Sana's thoughts during today's clip? I hope you decide to write something. Thanks in advance! 😊

Hello Anon!Thank you very much for the prompt! I didn’t do something grounbreaking but I hope you like what I wrote!

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[But think about it, they’ve been apart for a very long time, they’re probably just chilling, and don’t give a fuck about anyone else] Sana doesn’t know what to reply to Eva’s message. She is still worried about Noora. Not just because she might be mad at her but because she wants to be sure that everything is going well with William. She feels bad about sending that e-mail. Maybe Noora wasn’t ready to talk to him again ? But then she wouldn’t still be with him surely ?She is distracted in her thought by the chatter of the boys playing in the garden. The sun is bright in the sky and they are enjoying a beautiful summer day playing. She goes to the window to observe them. She is reminded of a similar moment that happened not so long ago. She was spying on the boys but he wasn’t there and she had cried at the thought of him being with Noora. But now she knows the truth about that day. She knows how he feels about her.She spots him immediately sitting next to Mikael. He’s wearing a white t-shirt and he looks like he is having fun, relaxing with his friends. The texts he sent to Noora come back to her mind« I don’t want her to hate me. »« I swear that we’re soulmates . »« I don’t think she’s that interested »Oh if only you knew, she thinks, if only you knew.She hesitates a few seconds and decides to join the boys in the garden. She wants to talk to him. After all there is no reasons for him not to know about her feelings for him. She smiles at the thought of him being preoccupied and worried all this time. She does feel better thinking she probably wasn’t the only one being miserable. Because he likes her. She leaves her room to join the boys in the garden, checking her face in the mirror before going out. A natural look. No need for black lipstick today. She wonders about what she is going to say to him, how does she explain the situation ? She decides not to worry about it and to be confident and to simply see what happens. Which is a first for her.When she come out in the garden, Yousef is still seated next to Mikael. After walking up to them, she says « Hello » and looks down at Yousef. As the other boys great her warmly, he smiles at her then looks away then looks at her again scrunching his face in a second smile. At least she hopes it’s a smile. Mikael gets up to play leaving the spot next to Yousef free. She looks at him smiling at his friends in the sun. She hesitates for a while and decides to go for it. Act casual, she tells herself, You know the truth, nothing to be worried about. She does feel quite powerful knowing that she knows but that he doesn’t know that she knows. This is starting to feel like an episode of Friends, she thinks.

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He tried not to look at her too much since she came in the garden. He decided a while ago that looking at her was all he was allowed to do, if she doesn’t like him then he will not try to impose himself on her anymore as he did when they played basketball a few days ago. But on Friday, at Eva’s party she looked at him several times, she even gave him a beautiful smile that left him confused but also made him feel so happy. He has been trying to keep his hopes down since then. At least it feels like she doesn’t hate him anymore. Which is good.And now she is standing next to him and Mikael just left his side to play. He keeps his eyes on the game and the laughs at his friends’ behavior. Act casual, he tells himself.He feels her slowly sitting next to him. He didn’t realized before he had her there, next to him, how he had been craving his presence. He feels aware of every fiber of his being suddenly. He stays silent, staying true to his new rule. Look and reply. That’s all.« Hey »If she’s talking he has to reply. Her voice his soft and he turns his head to face her. She’s looking at hm with a smile that warms his heart. He smiles back and replies with a « Hey ». He then goes back to focus on the game. The boys will make fun of him if he doesn’t follow the score and get distracted and he doesn’t really know hat to say to Sana anyway. He feels lost. To distract himself, he starts picking at the grass.She is now asking him if he had a good time at he friend’s party. She really is initiating a conversation then. Ok. Conversation Yousef, you can do conversation.He replies that yes, he had fun and asks her if she had as well. She nods with a smile an a little laugh. How can she be so casual and soft when she has been ignoring him and glaring at him the past weeks ? He feels the need to break the silence and adds something about Eskild and Eva’s gift and how fun it was. She laughs and replies and laughs again. He had missed that. Her laugh. Making her laugh. That thought makes him think about something , or someone, else« And Even.. It was good seeing him again, at least. »And when she hums a yes, he knows that she understands why it was important to him to see his old friend again, smiling, playing, having fun and being happy.He doesn’t know what to say anymore and she isn’t saying anything either so he keeps on picking up the grass next to him.

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He laughed. He smiled. He talked. Now it’s up to you Sana, she thinks, Tell him.She has decided to tall him about Noora showing her the texts messages and explaining why she was so cold with him the last few weeks. She doesn’t feel shy anymore. Even if her brother and his friedns are playing in front of them, she wants Yousef to know.She starts her sentence as Elias calls for Yousef attention and asks him when he is leaving.Leaving ? What is Elias talking about ? Where is Yousef going ?The boys keeps on talking about breaking their fast together and she feels as though she is missing something important here. Apparently Yousef is leaving to go somewhere on Saturday and she does not like that. How are they suppose to reconnect if he is leaving for the week-end ? She waits a little and asks him where he’s going. « Turkey »Which means he is going to go see his family. Which means that he is definitely gone for more than a week-end and probably more than a week. She feels that the confidence she had when she came into the garden is slowly fading away. She didn’t have any exact plan for the future events but none of them involve him being gone. This also means he is going to be busy during the week preparing or his trip and she won’t have many chances to see him. « Are you staying for a long time? - Until August »Before she has time to register his words, that he delivered with an annoying smile as if her expectations for the days to come hadn’t been crushed, he throws the grass he had been playing with at her. She is still too shock to react but still makes a mental note to remind him later that he should never do that again. Does he think he is cute when he does that ? Then she remembers his text to Noora. « Fuck, am I 12 or what ». You are, she replies in her mind, you so are. She doesn’t know what to say and he clearly doesn’t seem to think that there is anything wrong about him going to Turkey for two months as he stands up to join the boys to play. She tries to reassure herself with the fact that he is definitely coming back. But she can’t help the thought that maybe it is too late, maybe he is trying to move on from her. Maybe he already has moved on from her ? But surely he can’t go from calling her his soulmate to getting over her so quickly ? But what if after two months in Turkey, he comes back and doesn’t care about her anymore ?All these questions rush to her head as she watches him playing with his friends. And she can’t blame him for feeling good can she ? She can’t blame him for not staying next to her, for going to see his family, even when she so badly wants to see him everyday.

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Yousef didn’t look at her after saying that he would be gone until August because he wasn’t sure he wanted to see her reaction. She probably doesn’t care. She was just making conversation, he tells himself.He then remember that he threw grass at her and that makes him feel even more like an idiot. Now she surely doesn’t care at all and probably thinks he’s stupid. Who does that ? Who throw grass at people ? Why can he never act casually near her ?He looks at her after celebrating his victory with Elias. The only Bakkoush he has to pay attention to from now on. His best friend. Whose little sister he will leave alone.He looks at her, still hoping that she is looking at him. After all, he just won and even if she doesn’t care about him, surely she would be happy that her brother won ?She is looking at her her phone. And does she look worried ? Even if she does, it’s none of your business, he tells himself, She has better things to do than pay attention to you. Focus on the game. Focus on your friends.

[truckthesefeels]

Rob the Bank (then take me home)

Armitage Hux, under extenuating circumstances, extreme duress, and the influence of alcohol (again), attempts to purchase a greeting card. He brings his live-in werewolf along because it’s Kylo’s fault they need one.

A direct sequel to Dog Whistle, with the added element of being almost not about werewolves at all. It’s probably necessary to read the first part first.

Rating: M Warnings: mild exhibitionism, alcohol use, non-main character death mentioned in passing, unseasonable discussion of St. Patrick’s Day, werewolves (if you squint), soft as heckkkk (except for the references to past violent crime) Words: 3200

[Dear anon who requested this: sorry... that this took ten years and that the one thing you asked for does not actually take place. Dear everyone else: sorry that I only listened to Placebo and Kate Nash while writing this and as a direct result it turned out insane and also unmoored in space and time.]

He sees how they look at him, when he stands next to Kylo. They—anyone, little old ladies, families at bus stops, store clerks. This store clerk in particular. Rough piece, they’re all thinking about Kylo. Thug. They’re looking at how Hux shines his shoes and thinking that Hux has found himself a nice side of beef with his hired muscle, and then they’re thinking that he probably takes it rare with a little au jus. Not their fault: lycanthropy aside, Kylo still looks like someone who would tear your throat out. Probably with his teeth. Probably in a back alley somewhere.

He certainly isn’t someone who looks at home in a Hallmark store.

But of course they're in a Hallmark store.

Hux is halfways to drunk in a Hallmark, actually, because they're intended to be going to Ren's great-aunt's cousin's funeral. On his mother's side. Or something. It is definitely supposed to be a funeral; Hux was never quite sure of the relation and now he has no idea. He isn't quite sure why he'd let Ren convince him it was appropriate to pre-drink a funeral, either, even the funeral of a ninety-six-year-old woman he's fairly certain Ren's never met. Now that he's gone and done it, it turns out it was a terrible idea and there's no way Hux can attend.

The thing is, when he found Ren, he didn’t know what he was finding. When Hux let Ren into his home, he didn't know what he was letting in. He’d thought it might kill him. And when he let Ren into his bed, when he let him in and then climbed straight in on top of him, he absolutely didn't know that Ren was staying. (He must have assumed, as one would assume with almost anyone, that he was dealing, here, with an adult. Surely this adult lives somewhere. Surely he'll leave eventually.) Except that it seems like where Ren lives now, is with Hux. In his house, in his bed. On top of him and underfoot and huge and permanent.

He goes, sometimes, and then he comes back, and then one day over mostly burnt toast at the breakfast table he’d looked up and asked, “Will you go to a funeral with me? On Friday. I mean, you don’t have to. I just haven’t seen my family in a while, so it’s kind of…”

He didn’t say what kind of thing it was. Hux didn’t ask him to. It was a surprise to learn that he had a family at all.

And Hux, who hates his toast cooked any further than a four on the toaster’s little dial, somehow said “Of course I’ll go” without thinking about it for a second.

He’s done plenty of thinking between now and then, thinking he hates himself for agreeing, thinking of course he agreed, and then that of course he’d go for anyone, anyone who asked him—he would not, that’s a lie, but then there’s no one else who would ask him and there never has been—and so, that’s the crux of it, isn’t it? He thinks now, again. He’d have said yes to Ren, and by some vagrancy of fate it was Ren who had asked him. Here they are.

Every display in the damn store is green and Hux can’t understand it.

“Okay,” Ren mutters to Hux out of the side of his mouth. A pep talk—possibly directed at himself. He glares around like he too has noticed the unhealthy colour scheme. “Okay, we’re going to do this as fast as possible. Get in, get out. Clear mission. You like those, right?” Ren has his shoulders hunched in like he’s afraid he’ll knock over some piece of kitsch and be made to pay for it. Hux knocks a shoulder into him, because Ren could burn the whole fucking store down and Hux would probably help, it’s that awful. Also it’s slightly by accident because Kylo stopped walking when he hadn’t expected and he’d been using Kylo to keep him going in a straight line. “D’you think all the sympathy cards are gonna be fucking St. Patrick’s Day themed too?”

“Oh, Christ, is that what’s happening here?” It’s overwhelming. The clerk can go fuck herself, on second thought—it’s not her fault what she thinks of Kylo next to Hux, but the look she’s splitting between the two of them, like she’s listening in and wondering whether she should call the police or not, absolutely is.

Hux hates it here. He hates it, hates it, and yet here he still is.

He opens his mouth to tell Ren what he damn well thinks and all that comes out is: "Ren.”

Ren turns to him, still mid-glare, some concern sliding in like he thinks Hux might be about to embarrass them—as if he would ever—and Hux’s mouth is still hanging open. He’s not sure how to shut it without incriminating himself. “I'm so fucking happy," Hux says. Caught. “Ren. I am.”

Then Ren gets a read on Hux—on something about Hux that Hux is not doing on purpose—and smiles, wide and without hesitation. Both his dimples show at once: his whole sullen face is changed to something completely else. "Yeah," he says, slow and silly when Hux was deadly serious, but at least it’s not a question when he says it.

Somehow he's right in Hux's space so there’s nowhere to go that wouldn’t trap Hux up against the St. Patrick's Day cards—who the fuck gives a St. Patrick's Day card, Hux would like to know, and he’s Irish—and he buries his face in the side of Hux's neck and just... doesn’t do a thing, although Hux might have let him. Hux holds his arms very stiff at his sides. "Yeah," Ren says again, like they're telling secrets. As, indeed, Hux supposes they must be. Ren’s chin digs sharply into his shoulder when he presses as close as possible there and then tries to get closer. "You didn't know?"

He didn’t know and he couldn’t be expected to. There’s no baseline for it.

Ren does this thing that no partner of Hux's ever has: he stays. Not just in Hux's bed but really with Hux. But in Hux’s bed, too, yes. After, when they've both come spectacularly and filthily and when usually, one might roll over and—well, roll over and spoon, or fight over who doesn't get the wet spot, or call a cab or something—Ren doesn't go. He always stays instead. He stays, almost unimaginably heavy on top of Hux, lets himself go soft there, lets himself settle in to breathe like he's not squashing all the life out of Hux. Hux knows enough about wolf physiology to have... theories, about what exactly it is that Ren finds satisfying in this. But the problem is, Hux likes it. He would like to lie like that forever, wet spot and crushed ribs be damned.

He’d choose it over almost any other thing, he’s just realized.

Maybe Kylo really did know it already. Maybe Kylo can scent it or something, how absolutely calm and still Hux goes, how much he doesn't ever want to push Kylo away. Maybe it explains where Kylo had found the guts to ask Hux to come along with him.

Here next to the cardboard sign that says Luck O’ the Irish, he shoves Ren off with a sharpish push to the middle of his chest. "Ren! Sympathy card! For Great-Aunt Whoever." Hux needs him to be at a non-distracting distance for this. Not so close that Hux is thinking about getting closer, too. "Just... just pick one and we'll mail it in. It's that rack." He's pretty sure. That rack’s not as green. Ren's pectoral muscles are still distracting even at arm's length, and it probably isn't helping that Hux has somehow failed to reclaim his hand from where it's spread out against them.

Ren's grin widens somehow. Like this is what surprises him. "You're fucking trashed, huh?"

"It was not my idea.” He’s a little wobbly, though, true enough. “And I am the—the goddamned voice of reason, here; I'm insisting that we don't go. You can't go to a funeral like this. It's disgraceful. We'll send a card."

"Hux, I had one beer. With lunch." Ren sounds so soft, and Hux knows what that tone means. It means Ren’s biting back the kind of full-blown smirk that’s worse than his grin, that will have Hux spitting at him.

"Before a funeral,” Hux spits anyway: “it's completely inappropriate."

"You had whiskey. And like four sweet potato fries. And then three more whiskeys."

This is perhaps true too. Hux hasn't been to a funeral since his own father's, and in fact he'd worn the same charcoal tie to it that he is wearing today. He must not have shoved Ren away as hard as he'd thought he'd done, because Ren is right back in his space again, looping his arms carefully around Hux's back. Something about the sure way he does it tricks Hux into doing the same. Now Hux is half-drunk and hugging in a Hallmark store. It's more egregious than being nuzzled against the St. Patrick's Day cards was somehow, perhaps because he is an active participant in it.

He very much regrets mentioning any kind of happiness, ever, fleeting as it is turning out to be.

"You could just have told me you didn't want to go," Ren says. Hux thinks Ren's actually swaying them back and forth very slowly and calmingly, foot-to-foot, although that could be his head sloshing around. Either way, it's very nice. It doesn’t quite mesh with the smirk Hux had thought Ren was holding in. Makes it hard to keep scowling into the side of his head, especially since Ren can’t see that Hux is doing it.  "I didn't even know Aunt Maz; I was only going for Rey."

"Sorry." Rey, Hux knows, is the only member of Ren's family that he still talks to, or at least the only one he ever talks about. Hux isn't totally sure what their relation is, either. Sister? Cousin? Packmate? “Sorry, I shouldn’t have…” Shouldn’t have what, he doesn’t quite know.

He isn't totally sure what happened to the rest of Ren's family, but now that he knows they exist, he has some theories about why Ren's face looks the way it does when he doesn't talk about them. One of the reasons he has never asked is because not all of Hux's theories involve all the members of Ren's family being alive. This, if nothing else about Ren, is something that Hux can understand very well.

"Hm," Ren says after a minute, like he’s carefully considered it and Hux's apology just doesn't signify. "Let's go home. I'll email Rey later—don’t think she really expected me to show anyway." But he doesn’t stop anything that he’s doing.

Hux squeezes. Ren is, among his many dubiously good qualities, very solidly squeezable. His hair smells amazing even here in this terrible place. Not participating was really never an option.

"That... claim." He didn't know he was going to say that either, but he’s had four whiskeys at noon and now it's said.

Ren goes still and stiff in his arms. This is not something they've spoken of since the very first time, when Ren swore not to do it. Or swore not to hurt Hux, like that was the same thing without question.

"What is it? Exactly?"

"We don't need to," Ren says quickly. Extremely quickly. "That... other pack. They're not—it's not a problem, I told you. I know I got cut up pretty bad." This is an understatement; even with Ren's impossible healing, Hux can trace the scars across his face and down his side and he does so now. He can track those scars even through the dress shirt that Ren had to buy specifically for a funeral that they’re not going to ever make it to now. They are marks of Ren's physical protection, of his stupidity, of his willingness to let himself be gutted for someone he didn't even know. "But I won the challenge. The issue is settled. They're not. Um. Not coming back for you."

He holds Hux tighter when he says it, even as he stretches a little, preening a bit under Hux's touch. It's stupidly endearing, if not entirely reassuring, but this is not what Hux means. He only has one question.

“It wouldn't make me... like you? It's not the bite?” He only has one question and he’s not even sure if the answer makes a difference.

“It doesn't make you a—not like me, no. Jesus.” Ren pulls back now, gives Hux a frantic little shake by the shoulders like he knows what Hux was thinking and he’s not sure if he hates it or not. “But it's a permanent alignment, Hux. You'd be mine, and. And it can't be undone.” Ren’s voice is nervous but the thing underneath that is pitch-black, predatory. It’s there in the way his fingers dig into Hux’s flesh, the way he pulls back but even so he’s looking. It's another feeling Hux knows well. “You could never undo it.”

“And you are also mine?” His huge worried thing, his huge hungry thing, so keen to protect Hux from everything and anything and especially from himself. Just dangerous enough that a little protection might be warranted. This doesn’t count as a question because Hux knows the answer without thinking about it.

“I am. Yes. I would be.” He’s so still. But still there.

He knew the answer, and even so Hux’s blush heats up from the bridge of his nose to the top of his forehead—hopeless. He is filled hopelessly with an unexplainable love, right up to the same rising waterline. He should have—should have checked for it. Should have known. It must be pouring out of his ears.

Ren is on him, slamming him back into the St. Patrick's Day cards so hard this time that the cardboard shamrocks rattle. Something jams into his kidney and it fucking hurts, and the sound is like two six-foot tall men have tackled each other in a shop full of tat. Which they have. Hux can't believe that no one has come to try and interrupt the scene they're making, and he doesn’t care to stop until someone does. Maybe the confluence of capitalism and false sentiment has created some kind of liminal zone where no one can touch them. Maybe the shopgirl isn’t here clearing her throat at them because she’s busy dialling 911.

Maybe it's because Ren has one rock-solid thigh pressed into Hux so hard and so sweet, but his hand on the back of Hux's neck is gentle. He'd kill anyone who tried to look twice. Hux would definitely help him. No scene could matter.

“The last funeral I went to...” Hux is slurring not because of the whiskey but because his nose is mashed up against Ren's ear and he's not inclined to change position. “The last time, it was,” he chokes on My father, can’t say it. It was a decade ago and on a different bloody continent is even lonelier, somehow. “I'd have shot him myself,” is what he ends up saying, unsteady, “only somebody got to it first. So I shot them instead.”

“They can't have you,” Ren growls, as he holds Hux and holds him and holds. As if the people he’s talking about aren't already dead. “They can't get to you. I won't let them.”

Completely inappropriately, now Hux is the one who’s trying not to laugh. He thinks what’s bubbling up inside him might be something much worse than what this card store was built to withstand. A black kind of joke, a joke like a tar pit if it’s a joke at all, but Ren is here. Ren is here and Ren has him, and Ren knows from bad. Hux lets himself kiss Ren first one time, just a peck, and squeeze him tight around the ribs some more. “It's not a fucking blood pact,” he says. This part, the trial, is a confession. “It was ruled self defence; I was acquitted.”

He’d walked out of that court with his knees shaking and caught the first fucking flight across the Atlantic, destination anywhere else, running, but here he is now in a fucking Hallmark with an impossible person. With something he doesn’t let himself look at straight on on a good day, let alone when he’s drunk before two.

He slides his death grip up from Ren’s middle to his huge tense shoulders, to his disaster of a haircut, to both sides of his glowering face. Holds him there white-knuckled while Ren stares straight back.

 He’s going to tell Ren that he means it, that he’s happy with him, that he’d rip anyone in half that tried to stop him now—fangs or no. That he’d let Ren put his teeth in his neck if that’s what this means, and he thinks that it might be. That he’s serious, so serious, they have to leave right now or it’ll be Ren he’s tearing into and they’ll both be arrested.

He’s going to let Ren take him home, and it’s their home, together, like it was never Hux’s home when he was alone. Before that he’s going to let Ren hold his hand – in the street, in the taxi, in the goddamn queue line to buy a sympathy card that Ren will barely even check to make sure that there are no leprechauns on it. He’ll probably sign the card next to Ren’s name. Tomorrow.

Before that, after that, sometime in between those things:

He’ll be the one to hold Ren down for once. He’s going to close the blinds at three PM and do a shoddy job of it, and he’s not going to care if the neighbors can see it when yanks off Ren’s tie. It’s a tie that he borrowed from Hux, the navy one with a little stripe to it, which is also inappropriate for a funeral. The whole incident almost made Hux want to ask Ren if on top of everything else he was colour-blind like a dog. He doesn’t care; he won’t care where that tie lands or about any of the rest of it.

In Hux’s bedroom in the middle of the afternoon, tipsy and so certain, so certain now, he’ll push Ren down and bite at him when Ren is the one who hesitates. They’ll be as naked as if the idea of going to a funeral had never existed. Maybe it didn’t. Maybe this will be all there ever was, this huge and simple thing, and nothing else will happen after. Ren will open his eyes suddenly into Hux’s messy, determined kiss, will push at Hux a little until they’re staring at each other, and Hux will look straight down into him and realize it was possible to be more naked even than that—to be completely bare before another person and to be completely unafraid.

“I won’t hurt you,” Ren will say. The second time he’s said it, exactly like this.