#send help i cant stop laughing

[vivaspitfire]

This podcast is giving me LIFE

a serious podcast.

[eikichi-supremacy]

If nothing else Koenma is a Kuwabara stan and I'm right there with him o7 (I need to write the kuwameshi fic that goes with this fr)

[jiorahfairygodfather]

ROVER WHYYYYYY I'M LAUGHING SO HARD

IT'S LITERALLY THAT MEME

*COUGHING WHEEZING CHOKING*

[vanyafresita]

suspension of disbelief can only do so much sometimes lol

[null-doesnothing]

welcome to today's episode of: somehow annoying everyone with all 3 of my fuckass hyperfixations

[elizabeth-mitchells]

laura lee going to visit lottie from the afterlife:

GHJSHKFDGJHDFJGSSJGHF

ANIMORPHS LAURA LEE!!!!!!!!!!!!

this is CANON to ME

+

casual self promo for my fic about it <3

[heavenlyakin]

you're so mean no wonder suguru is fucking you

thank you 🥺

[lunatic-dreemurr-writes]

I'M CRYING

So I found this, I don't know what to do with it, but it will certainly go in the FOX post. FOX News says Biden let the hurricane hilary into the country

[even139]

LOL, guess who just got more traumatised, that's right your girl.

Question for anyone out there who also has trauma. Is it at this point, normal, that if you get more traumatised, that of course you're going to have a panic attack about it later. but right now while you are still in shock, you're just crying, laughing, crying, laughing about it.

Because I don't know if I'm in hysteria or if I just lost it.

[gyomeis-beads]

Di shwarsher :(

[sexybabystevie]

i may have already said this but i sincerely cannot believe. that i flirted w this guy via zac efron jokes

[tattah-art]

bad trafagar law plushies -

a collection

[siriuslylantsov]

giggle fit

spencer reid x fem! reader blurb. fluff :) undressing because of sex but theres no sex. kissing! meh ending because i just wanted to get this done. 458 words.

spencer shuts the door behind him as he makes work of his tie and shirt buttons, shoes and jacket left behind in the hallway of your apartment.

while he does that, you make progress with your own stripping. the urgency of the moment makes both your actions hurried. you let your skirt fall and pull off your blouse, waiting.

you watch as he struggles with his pants, kicking them off. his lack of attention for his surroundings while he looks at you becomes very evident as he trips over his pants, toe getting caught in the front pocket. he stumbles forward, eyes wide, and you reach out to steady him. the sheer momentum that exhumes off him sends you both to the floor. you, falling hard on your ass, and him, on his knees.

you rub over the impacted area with a grimace, and then you meet his eyes. they're equally pained by the fall, squinting, face twisted funnily that you can't help but start laughing. he frowns in confusion but seeing the way you light up causes him to follow suit.

you lean forward and press your smiling lips to his, “slow down,” you murmur against them. he kisses you back with fervour and pulls you closer by the waist. your lips part as another giggle escapes you, he uses this opportunity to lick into your mouth but your lack of cooperation makes it a messy ordeal. 

your laughing persists and he gives up on kissing your lips, instead moving to the side of your face. you keel over on the carpet behind you. he looks at you incredulously, you can't be laughing right now.

he moves to straddle your waist, imploring you to stop squirming, careful not to crush you. he peels your hands away from your face and plants them under his on the ground. “stop it,” he whines. 

you only grow more delirious, “i cant-” you let out between a fit of giggles, the outburst causing your stomach to ache, you tense under him. 

he smiles at you, amused, shifting lower to your hips so that when he brings his head down, it’s level with yours. “your diaphragm,” he lets go of one on your pinned hands to press at the area under your ribs, “and your abdominal muscles are repeatedly contracting.” he presses a kiss to your lips, which you accept, “that's why it hurts.”

you're breathless as your laughter ceases. “huh, i always wondered why that was,” you use your free hand to rake through his hair. “thank god i have a loser boyfriend to tell me.”

“loser boyfriend really wants you right now, so how ‘bout you get up?”

“how ‘bout you get off me first? and don't trip this time.”

[worldlxvlys]

can you plase make a story where chris is obsessed with the reader and is super clingy, and always want to be close to her.

and he cant stop thinking about her and talks about her to his friends all the time.

and he gets hard everytime he sees her, and everything about her turns him on, and he jerks off alot while thinking about her.

obsessed

chris sturniolo x reader

warnings: smutttt, masturbation, fantasizing, cursing

a/n: this is inspired by the request (obv) but also by @solarsturniolo ‘s series We’re Just Friends for matt, i’m absolutely obsessed with it ! please go read if you haven’t already :)

3 TIMES CHRIS WAS DOWNBAD FOR READER AND 1 TIME HE DID SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

1. HE’S IN DENIAL.

“you gus are being dramatic, it’s not that bad” i said to matt and nick.

“chris, you can’t go a day without being around her. and when you aren’t with her she’s all you talk about” matt said.

“that’s not true” i brushed off his comment.

“chris, you’re doing it right now. this conversation started with you telling us how much you miss her” nick deadpanned.

i rolled my eyes at this, “whatever bro”

“no, not whatever. you’re obsessed with her”

“that’s crazy. i’m not obsessed with her, guys. i just love spending time with her” i stopped to think, “and helping her pick out her outfits, seeing how excited she gets over little things”

“her smile, her face, her laugh, her voice, her body”

“but you’re not obsessed, right?” nick said “exactly” i agreed.

“kid, please listen to yourself” matt spoke,

“you’re smiling like a fucking idiot right now” nick pointed out, making me drop my smile quickly.

“you sniff her hair like a creep and whenever she is here, you’re always touching her in some way” he continued.

“and you’re always talking about how good she looks or how you like her hair that day. i bet if i asked you the exact outfit she wore yesterday you could tell me” matt said.

i went to object, but realized i did have her exact outfit memorized.

“she was wearing my favorite pair of shorts” i spoke, trying to give an excuse.

“chris, you can’t be serious” nick spoke, looking at me incredulously.

“what ?” i asked, my voice raising slightly.

“look, there’s nothing wrong with it. but you need to be honest with yourself about it” nick said.

“look, guys. you’re just wrong! i-” suddenly, i was cut off by my phone buzzing in my pocket.

when i checked to see who it was, i was met with the face of the exact person we were talking about, a wide smile growing on my face.

without hesitating i answered, putting the phone to my ear.

“hold on, i’ll be back” i told them, holding a finger up.

“this kid is unreal” matt spoke, rolling his eyes.

🤭🤭🤭

2. HE’S OBSESSED.

matt and nick had left to go to the store a little while ago, stating that it’d be a while before they were back.

i immediately took the opportunity to let out my pent-up frustrations, caused by her.

her eyes, always looking up at me so innocently. like she was just begging me to take that away and completely destroy her.

her lips, always soft and hydrated. like they’re just waiting to be kissed. i wanna see them get puffy and bruised from my own.

her thighs, always so shiny and squeezable. i wanna watch them shake while she screams out my name. i need them around my head, pushing me further and further into her pussy, holding me captive. i wanna see them folded into her chest while i hammer her pussy, her body thrashing under me.

her hands, always freshly manicured. whenever she gets a new set and sends me them, i imagine what they’d look like wrapped around my cock.

which was how we got here in the first place. except, this time, she sent me a video.

“fuck, chris” she started making me cum immediately. “i love these so much” she spoke excitedly, wiggling her fingers to show off the intricate nails.

“thank you for paying for them, i seriously…” she continued to ramble but i lost focus as my hips stuttered and thick ropes of my cum coated my hand, some even flying onto the phone screen.

i hadn’t even realized i was close.

before i knew it, i found myself overstimulating my sensitive cock as i continued to pump, getting lost in the sound of her voice.

yeah, nothing about this is normal.

🍆🍆🍆

3. HE’S DELUSIONAL. (OR IS HE 🤨)

she looked way too good.

we were hanging out at her house, after just getting back from shopping.

she was giving me a try-on haul, and god it was criminal how good she looked in anything she put on her body.

her body. i tried not to stare at her body when i was around her, but i couldn’t help it. she was hypnotizing. it was getting harder and harder to hide the boners that i got every time i saw her.

i was already struggling, but the second she pulled out the bikinis? i had to pull my hoodie off and place it over my lap.

every time she walked back to her closet, her hips drew me in. i watched her ass as she walked, gripping onto the sheets under me.

the bikinis got cheekier and cheekier as she tried them on, but i lost it at one in particular.

when she bent over to rifle though her bag, the fabric moved over slightly, giving me the smallest glimpse of her pussy.

“i gotta use the bathroom!” i yelled as i rushed past her.

“oh-“ she barely even finished talking before i pushed the door closed.

i leaned against the door as i pulled down my pants.

i spread the pre-cum that covered my cock around, my head falling back against the door as i held back my groans.

my arm started to cramp up at the speed that i pumped my length at, needing to finish quickly.

suddenly, there was a knock at the door, making my eyes widen but not stopping my movements.

“chris, are you ok? you seemed kinda off” i heard her speak through the door.

the sound of her voice alone pulled me closer to finishing.

“uh, yeah. just felt kinda weird” i did my best not to let any moans slip out.

the wet sounds of my hand furiously stroking my cock echoed through the bathroom, and i prayed that she didn’t hear it.

“do you need help?” she asked.

“what ?” i asked, her words catching me off guard.

“like, is there anything i can get you ? do you need anything?” she asked.

“uh, no. just give me a minute” i breathed out heavily, struggling to suppress my groans at the sound of her voice.

“a minute? you close, baby?” she asked. at this point, i was too far into the pleasure to question her words.

“yes, so fucking close” i moaned as my mouth hung open, drool dribbling down my chin.

“you thinkin about bending me over the sink in my bikini?” i let out an embarrassingly loud groan at this.

“feeling me clench around your cock while you fill my pussy up? reminding me who i belong to?” my eyes crossed at her words and my legs shook so hard i had to hold onto the sink.

“i’m cumming! holy fuck, i’m cumming!” i groaned.

my seed spurted out of me, making me groan at the feeling of it dripping down my length.

“oh my god” i breathed out shakily, grabbing toilet paper and cleaning myself up.

i flushed it down the toilet, pulling up my pants and washing my hands after.

i splashed water onto my face, letting the reality of my actions hit me.

did i just fuck everything up?

taking a deep breath, i opened the door.

she had a slightly concerned look on her face as she spoke, “hey, you ok? what happened?”

my eyebrows furrowed at her question. what did she mean, what happened ?

“i mean- yeah i’m good”

“ok, you kinda scared me. you seemed like you were gonna be sick” she spoke as she looked up at me.

did i just imagine that entire thing?

“chris, what’s wrong?” she asked, placing her hand on my shoulder.

“did you come to the door to talk to me at all?” i asked.

“no, why?”

oh, this is not good. i’m fucked.

she cupped my jaw in her hand, swiping her thumb across the corner of my lips.

“you had a little drool” she lightly smirked at me.

🤨🤨🤨

1. HE’S BOLD.

“ok, i should get going” she spoke as she patted my knee lightly.

she was cuddled into my side, her head laying on my shoulder while my arm was wrapped around her waist.

her shirt had ridden up slightly, allowing my hand to rest against her bare skin.

although it may not seem like a big deal, being able to feel her skin was driving me crazy.

i wanted to run my hands all over her body, but i couldn’t. so i settled for the small area of skin that was exposed.

“noooo, just tell your friends to come here” i spoke as i lightly played with the rings on her hand.

“chris…it’s a girl’s night out. that completely defeats the purpose” she said.

“i know, i know. i just don’t want you to go” i spoke before leaving a small kiss to her neck.

i kept my face there, inhaling the sweet scent of her perfume.

i tried my hardest to move my face away from her neck, but i couldn’t find it in me to pull away.

i shouldn’t have left the kiss in the first place, because now that i knew what it felt like, i wasn’t going to be able to stop.

i left a kiss to the same spot.

and another.

and another.

i moved up her neck, beginning to leave them along her jaw.

“chris” she sighed out, tilting her head to give me better access.

i continued to press my lips to her jaw, and moved up towards her ear, stopping just below it when she let out a moan.

the noise traveled straight to my dick, and i groaned out against her skin.

i focused on the sweet spot, enjoying the way her body reacted to it.

“fuck, chris” she moaned.

suddenly, nick bursted through my door, making us pull apart quickly.

“your friend’s here” he spoke to her, taking in the distance between us and our heavy breathing. “y’all good?”

“yup” we spoke quickly, at the same time, making nick look at us weirdly.

“i should go, don’t wanna keep them waiting” she spoke as she left quickly.

“i just ruined something, didn’t i?” nick asked.

i let out a heavy sigh as i fell back onto my bed.

yeah, i’m fucked.

💋💋💋

is chris delusional ??? 🤔

i loveee this

masterlist

tag list: @lustfulslxt @flowerxbunnie @sturnssx @mattslolita @its-jennarose @sophssturn @bernardsleftbootycheek @queen161718 @cupidsword @imwetforyourmom @nickmillersn1gf @mattsneezing @chrisstankyleg @sturniolobltch @ciarasturn1 @bethsturn @bernardenjoyer @mbbsgf @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @ssturniolo @blueeyedbesson @mxqdii @sturniolowhore @heraakayourname @defnotayonna @urmom2bitch @rootbeerworshiper @starsturniolo @hearts4chriss @theyluv-meee @carolinalikesthings @chrisstopherfilmed @judespoision @sstvrnioloo @littlebookworm803 @nicksdrpepper @chrisloyalgf @robins-scoop @fandomhopped @chr1sgirl4life @bbglmfao @55sturn @sturniolololover @meg-sturniolo @mattsnymphette @leah-loves-lilies @vanteguccir @ineedchriscock @junnniiieee07

[retroaria]

⋆｡° ✮ boyfriend sakura ⋆｡° ✮

���‧₊˚. dating the oh so bashful Haruka Sakura! ༉‧₊˚.

WIND BREAKER M.LIST | enjoy 🖤 - aria

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pre-boyfriend!sakura who sees you chatting with Umemiya one day and couldn’t stop thinking about you. He steals Nirei’s notebook and locks himself in a bathroom stall to skim through and find everything he can about you. He can’t help it! The way your cheeks perked up when you smiled, your hair effortlessly framing your soft features. The only logical explanation is that he had been bewitched by your or something. Maybe Nirei had written down the cure for this spell you seemed to have casted on him.

pre-boyfriend!sakura who gets flustered at the mere sound of your name. The rest of the guys catch on pretty quick to his little crush because of how intensely he seems to focus any time you’re mentioned. “Oh, and they’re single, by the way. Do what you want with that…” Suō would whisper teasingly into his ear. “Oh, really… wait w-what!? No I’m not- I- I just…” Sakura could barely contain himself, he gets so red there’s steam coming off of him.

pre-boyfriend!sakura who can’t stop thinking about what Suō said. He considers asking Umemiya about you, considering the two of you seem to be close, but he decides this is something he should do on his own. He finds little ways to get your attention on him, sparking small conversation which usually results in him acting as if he’s annoyed by you. He gets the other guys to hang around the shop/cafe you work at in town just so he can see you more often without seeming weird and going by himself.

pre-boyfriend!sakura who finds you being harassed by a rival gang one day and steps in without hesitation. He sends those guys home with tears in their eyes and turns to you with a level of concern no one has ever seen him have before. Asking if you’re okay or if you were hurt. It eventually turns into him making you out to be a nuisance again, asking how you got yourself in this situation and scolding you to be more careful next time. He takes this opportunity to give you his number, which is honestly the boldest thing he’s ever done. It’s just in case you’re in danger of course!! Although he walks home that night hoping that you’ll message him as soon as possible, checking his phone every so often with the hopes of your name popping up.

pre-boyfriend!sakura who becomes rather fond of your random messages to him throughout the day, his face heating up at the thought of you potentially liking him back, whether it was just platonic or not. If you ask him to hangout his mind goes blank, he has no idea what to do and accidentally leaves you on read for half the day. Eventually Suō and Nirei get a hold of his phone and see the messages, teasing him about it before discreetly replying back to you with a cheeky “I’d love to ;)”, which you notice is very uncharacteristic of Sakura. When he does meet up with you that day he rambles forever about how that wasn’t him and how the guys were messing with him. “Oh, so you didn’t actually want to hang out today?” You say, your expression falling sad. “Wait no t-that’s not what I meant, I did I just-“ this guy cant handle anything.

pre-boyfriend!sakura who spends his days in anticipation of the next hangout you two will have. He relishes in the peace your presence brings him and the way your voice lulls every worry out of his mind and body. He decides that confessing his feelings may ruin the bliss of your current relationship, and so he holds back and tries to enjoy what he can of you. Gushing at light touches, eyes lighting up at the sight of your smile or the sound of your laugh, losing himself in the stories you tell about anything and everything. He accepts the fact that he wants to just smoosh his face into yours and pull your body into his, but he’s ok with how things are as long as he can have these moments with you.

pre-boyfriend!sakura who gets whiplash at the sound of your confession. Through all the time that he’s spent entranced by you, in sheer awe under your spell, he failed to notice the subtle signs of your feelings for him along the way. All he could do was stare at you with a stupid dumbfounded look on his face. He’s lucky that he wears his heart on his sleeve and that his feelings were obvious to you from the beginning, because if you hadn’t pulled him in and placed your lips against his, he would’ve stayed there on the street with that dumb look on his face for days, paralyzed.

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boyfriend!sakura who is immediately extremely possessive and protective over you. Refuses to even tell the rest of Bofurin about you because he truly just wants to keep you all to himself. Of course, you told Umemiya and he told literally the entire town. He takes detours from his patrol routes to check up on you specifically, tries to make it quick although he can’t help but pull you away for a moment to steal a quick kiss before returning back to his patrol. It becomes known by other gangs that your his partner and while some of them get the gist that they shouldn’t mess with you, others may take it as a chance to mess with Sakura. He would protect you with his literal life and so would the rest of Bofurin so you have nothing to worry about, except for cleaning up the injuries your poor boyfriend got while protecting you, but he wears his battle scars with pride.

boyfriend!sakura who is always buying you little treats! Sweets, snacks, little toys and figures, anything he thinks you’d like he gets for you. Always gives it to you so nonchalantly, trying to hide his blush as he watches your adorable face beam at the gift with excitement.

boyfriend!sakura who takes a few months to get comfortable enough to share his life and backstory with you. He’s afraid that you may see him differently, or think that he’s a bad person for who he was in the past and the things the continue to drive him as a fighter. You assure him that you love him for who he is no matter what and it takes him aback. He isn’t used to this level of love and care, and it takes a bit for him to get used to it. Eventually, he becomes totally comfortable with you. He lets you dote on him as much as you want and he relishes in the love he gets to give and receive with you. You truly opened up new perspectives that he had never considered before.

boyfriend!sakura who does his best to make time for you. Not just for you but for him as well. You’re the only thing that calms him down and keeps him sane. He needs a dose of you at least once a day to help him ease out of his constant antsy state. Although it doesn’t help when you start getting all lovey dovey and he make him all flustered, but deep down, he loves it.

boyfriend!sakura who doesn’t really understand the concept of a date. It’s just hanging out right? Wrong. It’s intimate, something he’d never experienced before. Now that he gets to have that with you he loves taking you out. Dinner, movies, walks around the park, even just staying in and cuddling with you for hours, it’s never just hanging out with you. Every moment with you is a date for him because every moment with you is an experience of closeness and intimacy that he can’t get anywhere else but with you.

boyfriend!sakura who needs time to ease into physical touch, but once he does, he can’t get enough of it. Loves the feeling of your hand in his, his arm around your waist, your hands cupping his face, his lips locked with yours. He loves it all so much. When you guys cuddle he absolutely engulfs you, tangling his legs with yours, wrapping his arms tight around you, he’s clinging to you for dear life. He loves when you kiss his jaw or the corner of his mouth, he also likes planting soft kisses to the corners of your mouth. Loves when you run your fingers through his hair or down his back or trace soft circles on his arms, your soft touch feels like the cure to everything that ails him.

boyfriend!sakura who is the first to say “I love you”. He says it to you while the two of your are cuddling, laying face to face, bodies tangled up on his bed as the light from outside begins to dim. You’re both tired and eager to fall asleep in each others arms. He can’t help but notice how incredible this feels, it’s calm and peaceful, but he can still feel the faint flutter of butterflies in his stomach whenever he’s around you. You tug at his heart like you own it, you’ve taken it already, but he would’ve happily given it to you. He can’t help the words as they come out of his mouth in a soft content sigh. He knows he’s scared to say it, but he can’t hold them back, and he doesn’t try to stop it. When you say it back he instinctively pulls you into a tender kiss, then pushes his head into the crook of your neck. He’s blushing like crazy, but he’s so happy right now he doesn’t care about how flustered he is.

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Sakura Haruka, you are going to be the death of me. I really wanted to capture how tender and sweet I think it would be to fall in love with him. He’s such a crybaby, but I think at his core he just needs to be loved ❤️ I hope you guys enjoyed!!

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[ilovepaigebueckerss]

grocery store shenanigans

(someone help me w these damn names..)

pairing: p.b x fem! reader

summary: inspired by this!!

i dont really like this but i wanted to post something for you guys while i work on my reqs!! the reason why its take me so long is because everytime i write something i hate it🙏😭😭

AS ALWAYS NOT PROOFREAD!!

___________________________________________________

you set up your phone in the middle of the aisle causing paige to send you a glare. it was basically a ‘don’t embarrass me’ glare but you decide to ignore it. “okay paige” you say pulling her body into frame. she sends you that same glare from earlier and you laugh, “dont look at me like that” she laughs with you and puts her hands up in defense.

“anywayysss” you say rolling your eyes playfully, “im gonna pretend to be some random girl flirting with you and you gotta just act natural.”

“okay sure” paige says confidently.

you walk away leaving paige, who was pretending to look at cleaning products, in the frame. you walk up to her, “excuse me” you say sweetly batting your eyelashes. paige looks at you and you both start laughing.

“okay wait be serious.” you say trying to stifle your laughter. “okay im locked in” paige says causing you to laugh even more. you walk over to the camera and pause it.

“okay we back yall” you say to the camera. “take 2” paige says holding up two fingers.

you walk up to paige putting your hand on her bicep. “excuse me” you say sweetly, batting your eyelashes. paige backs up and takes your hand off her, “yeah?” she says trying not to laugh.

“i thought you were really cute and i wa-“ you begin before paige cuts you off and says, “i have a girlfriend”

you begin to laugh and walk towards the camera, “she passed yall” you say holding a thumbs up and stopping the video.

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caption: my bsf and lover in one frfr😂

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comments:

@uconnwbbloverr: the caption. im crying.

@ilovepaigebuckets: its the fact they cant even take it seriously😭😭🙏

@kkarnoldisfine: y/n’s face when paige cut her off💀💀

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