#semi monthly songs that fuck

[fallen-honor]

AYY LETS GO WITH ANOTHER SEMI MONTHLY SONGS THAT FUCK

[colorisbyshe]

July 2024 Monthly Music NYAA

Current (within the last month... or so):

"Joyride" by Kesha. We've all heard it. A return to form and a celebration of Kesha's freedom <3

I finally listened to Cupcakke's album. I know people love to harp on her obscene lyrics and humor but can I just say her instrumentals are one of a fucking kind? Some notables off the album: "Water Balloon," "Aura," "Backstage Pass," "Rock Paper Scissors," "Dora," and "Dementia." If you like these, maybe give "Catman" by TeaMarr as well.

"Skyscraper Starlight" De De Mouse. City Pop sensibilities with a modern groove factor.

"Chasing Low Vibrations" Foster the People. Not as good as previous stuff but... idk... what it is what it says on the tin. Low vibrational.

"Corazon" & "Switch It (ft Cakes da Killa, GAWD). Glossy, disco-y, and MADE to get you on the fucking dance floor! Glad to have accidentally found the latter song through Cakes Da Killa and their song "Da Dat Baby" with its gay, flashy rap. If you like those, PIVOT WITH ME, and try out "Nowhere" by Shotaro Aoyama.

"Kiss" Penicillin. Just some Visual Kei rep on this list. The sound is very nostalgic for Jrock, at least vocally. Like 1998 vibes.

"Low Threshold" Navy Blue. A rap that feels like the intersection between a confessional and a sermon.

Looking at my "Share with Tumblr" playlist... this is longer than expected so uh... kpop dumping ground?? Which is bad because these are all WILDLY different genres but... I feel like the same group of people will give them a chance so:

"Hot Mess" Aespa (chaotic, bad but compelling). "Sabotage" & "Bad Blood" KWON EUNBI (Dancey, Loona-adjacent somehow?) "Dont" Lee Chae Yeon (Bop for the girlies) "Pricey" & "Rain Drop" NCT 127 (Songs I re-imagine as Exo demos) "Sweetie" PRSNT (Jiyoon from 4minute!! In a co-ed group!! Bubbly) "XO (Only if You Say Yes)" Enhyphen (I'm obsessed with the instrumental) "All Day" Onew (I SAVED THE VERY BEST!! GORGEOUS, ENTHRALLING, musically complex and great)

Jpop and mid-2000s AMV core... I'm here for "Underground" by F5ve and its semi-viralness.

I don't think its their best album, by a long shot, and I miss how weird they were but Glass Animals did have a bit of a comeback from that HORRIBLE lead single. Notables: "How I learned to Love the Bomb," "Wonderful Nothing," "whatthehellishappening?" Indie pop / alt rock.

"Super Breath" Karen 0 & Danger Mouse. MTV Teen Wolf era ass song. For the peeps who liked older Metric but also MTV's curated playlists for their teen dramas.

"Stupid (can't run from the urge" underscores. If hyperpop intrigued you but kind of scared you, if you ran back to like... madeon but gayly... this is the song for you.

If you like previous recs of Alex Anwandter's music, give "Mi Corazón" by Tango Astral a shot. Similar vibes, perhaps more basic.

Kinda generic rock song but "Delusion:All" One OK Rock scratches an itch. Still don't think they've ever done better than "Clock Strikes" but I don't follow them much

Older songs to shout out: "Passive" A Perfect Circle (Used to listen to this and think of Sasunaru, alt rock, nu metal... ish), "Last Smile" Love Psychedelico (Jrock from 2000, close your eyes and bop your head), "Eureka" Sakanaction (more Jrock, more energetic and poppy), "Something Good '08" Utah Saints (Kate Bush Sample and made a great AMV)

[auspex]

fuck it discord rant with no context (feel free to ask for context) about my last session

AAAAAAAAa

ok little context: mark and cassidy driving home from mission where the anarch party they were investigating got raided by camarilla so they have to take the long way home. also, mark juts got a text from sampson that they need to talk. otherwise good luck making sense of this if u havent heard mark rants before.

-

Mark learned: -Cassidy turned in 1853 california -loves older western movies, NOT spaghetti westerns except once upon a time in th west -loves detective novels; steven king -has larger goals that he doesnt want to say due to mark's sire having a short leash on him lol -guessed mark was about 5 years dead, mark told him it was less than a year. cassidy was pretty surprised lol -cassidy asked marks goals and what he wanted. mark talked abt goals of stability, and knowing whats going on in the city. talked around it but basically said he also wanted someone he felt he could actually talk to T_T This is what inspired lighter covnersation abtmovies and books -cassidy invited him to WATCH A MOVIE W HIM AT THE CINEMA LOVE WINS (NOT A DATE FOR SURE UNLESS?) -

Now its time to talk to sampson on the next night

due to something julius did mark has to shelter some anarchs in the sewers on his territory. he made it clear the SEWERS only. theyve been moving in.

anyway marks goes to the bar. theres some sketchy ppl outside .oh god. anarchs not listening to directions? THATS CRAZY. Anyway the bar is closed early. it has blinds. many locks. sampson lets mark in and is like. dude. wtf are these people around. ive been seeing htem around and we figured out they were vampires and you said htis place would be safe?? i cant keep doing this???

he's like i know its not all always your fault or things happen in spite of you but what am i supposed to do? i cant live like this again? what am i supposed to do?? And marks just like look anarchs have been moving in city wide ill deal with this and . sampson presses and hes like deal with them how. and marks like IDK kick them out? kill th- and sampsons like YES KILL THEM you killed that one random person cant you kill kindred on your territory?

like OOF that 1 ONE murder lives in his head dsakjfsfdkjds

he's crying, also, ends up saying 'after all this i dont want to talk to you again, i know you bring me stuff to keep me alive' and then be breaks down MORE like REALLY sobbing

so mark gives him a little time to compose himself. then gets all cold and is basically like. so be it. ill still have to see you monthly, but we can try to limit it. but then sampsons like. "I dont know. I just. dont know what to do. i cant sleep with these guys out there all the time" and mark is like "do you want me to deal with them right now?" and smaspons like "yes" so. mark leaves to deal with them!

he grabs piece of shit tony who is supposed to be helping manage this territory. tony says the guys claimed he invited him there, so mark has to explain how they are allowed in the sewers but no where else. and that he wants the three in front of the plaza dealt with Tonight. they work out a deal. tony drives around collecting ghouls and plays this song.

the ghouls are wearing ski masks and have various weapons. he assigns them an order. and turns up the music and they start FUCKING those guys up. first guy modified his glock to be semi automatic? one gets downed immedaitely. 3 other ghouls approach with melee weapons. one gets killed sadly but all the kindred who were loitering by the bar get torpored in short order. Tony is pissed and yells at a corpse about whose gonna pay to replace his ghoul? Ooffff. but yeah mission done. tony says to mark to get out of his car.

He does so. returns to bar. SESSIONEND

SESSION END!

THEY WERE ABOUT TO GET TO TALK! im sure they are shook by the Incredible Violence outside but whatever

DSLKFJDSLFSD

[ao3feed-destiel-02]

Sparks Fly

Sparks Fly https://ift.tt/7Woaqv9 by kelsstiel Dean is a good big brother. That’s why he’s driving from Lawrence to New York City on a monthly basis. It’s not because of the dark-haired stranger he slept with on his first visit to the Big Apple. It’s definitely not because he ran into that stranger again and they decided to exchange information. Sam’s a first-year law student so he lives in a shoebox with roommates and is busy with his classes and a new girlfriend. It only makes sense for Dean to stay with Cas since he’s got more space and spends more time at home. But they aren’t in a relationship. Dean isn’t good at relationships and Cas is a Ph.D. student whose life is too up in the air with graduation on the horizon and plans to move anywhere else. Cas is the best thing to happen to him since his dad died and Dean knows it’s only a matter of time before he fucks it all up. Words: 96223, Chapters: 13/13, Language: English Fandoms: Supernatural (TV 2005) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: Dean Winchester, Castiel (Supernatural), Sam Winchester, Gabriel (Supernatural), Jessica Moore (Supernatural), Balthazar (Supernatural), Meg (Supernatural), Charlie Bradbury, Bobby Singer (Supernatural), Ellen Harvelle, Jo Harvelle, Benny Lafitte, Rowena MacLeod Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bar Owner Dean Winchester, College | University Student Castiel (Supernatural), PhD Student Castiel (Supernatural), POV Dean Winchester, From Sex to Love, One Night Stand to Friends to Estranged to Lovers, yeah i'm making that a tag, Minor Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester, One Night Stands, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Dean is emotionally constipated, Dean Winchester Needs to Use Actual Words, Light Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Inspired by Taylor Swift, Title from a Taylor Swift Song, Song: Sparks Fly (Taylor Swift), Explicit Sexual Content, Bottom Castiel/Top Dean Winchester, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Switching, Blow Jobs, Semi-Public Sex, Frottage, Self-Esteem Issues, sex as a form of self harm, (unintentionally and the chapter will be tagged in the notes!!!), Castiel and Dean Winchester Use Their Words, Dean is a touch-starved octopus via AO3 works tagged 'Castiel/Dean Winchester' https://ift.tt/kS5zCus September 23, 2023 at 05:08PM

[randomvarious]

Today's compilation:

Vox: Class of 96 1996 Britpop / Power Pop / Alternative Rock

Remember the era of the freebie CD, folks? Music magazines liked to pump these things out on about a monthly basis to be packaged with their own issues, and while we may not have fully appreciated them as they were being distributed to us at the time, in retrospect, they actually really serve as very important pieces of ephemera that, in totality, can authentically document what a whole part of a certain time period sounded like. I closed out last week's comp run with one of these things from UK music magazine Q, which provided a short list of what the publication had deemed as the best tracks in the UK for 1997, and this week, I'm kicking off with another one of these freebie CDs, from what was once one of Q's biggest competitors, the now-defunct Vox, which is obviously not to be confused with the liberal news site of the same name that's still very much around today.

But while that Q CD dealt with 1997, this Vox one tries to tackle 1996. And once again, although this comp isn't nearly as good as the Q one, it still nevertheless reinforces my opinion that the UK's alt rock landscape of this time period was of a *much* higher quality than the US's. Grunge had led the way throughout the early-to-mid-90s in America, but once it fell off, we were left with what was basically this empty void of nothingness, or as Thom Yorke once put it, 'fridge buzz.'

From the 1998 Radiohead tour doc, Meeting People Is Easy:

There's a line in "Karma Police" about 'he buzzes like a fridge.' And to me, when you're driving around in America and you have the alternative stations on in the background or in your hotel room or whatever; and it's just like a fridge buzzing. That's all I'm hearing. I'm just hearing buzz. It's really odd. It's kind of funny, though, really. You just have to laugh.

So, I really think where American alt rock radio programmers screwed up in the post-grunge era was when they collectively decided not to fully embrace Britpop. It could've been such a great, contrasting commercial successor to grunge, but instead we tried to replace it with Third Eye Blind and such. And not to throw too much shade on them, specifically, because "Semi-Charmed Life" is still, and will always be, the fucking jam, but 3eb is just not nearly in the same stratosphere as what so many Britpop bands were doing at the same time. Alt rock radio would give us glimpses of Britpop with some Radiohead, Oasis, and Blur singles, and to be clear, those three are really the royal triumvirate of the whole era, but there really was so much more to it than just some of those bands' songs and The Verve's "Bitter Sweet Symphony."

And this Vox CD from 1996 offers up some of those bands that Americans are undoubtedly less familiar with, like Suede, Kula Shaker, and Ash, who were leagues better than pretty much every other alt rock radio group that got played in the US. Don't get me wrong, I very much love to wax nostalgic about the American 'fridge buzz' too, but this Britpop sound was just so much richer and more dynamic, overall, and it's a total shame that it didn't get a significantly larger chunk of the American alt-rock radio pie than it did, because I think we would've been much better off with having something like Suede's Bowie-channeled "Trash" in constant rotation—one of their most popular songs, but still never charted Stateside in any capacity—rather than, like, I don't know, the super dorky "Hey Leonardo (She Likes Me for Me)," by Blessid Union of Souls?

All in all, this CD honestly still isn't *that* great, and if compared with a generic American alt rock radio playlist from the same year, I still might prefer the American radio one instead. But that would really only be purely for nostalgic reasons, because when I take these rose-colored glasses off, even though some of the music on here definitely feels a bit clunky, it's still a whole lot more substantive than just about everything else that American alt rock radio was serving us up at the time. And that really just goes to show how drastically the programmers were missing the boat by back then, because second- and third-tier Britpop bands were, I think, inarguably, qualitatively outshining whatever American stuff was being put into the heaviest of rotation. And unfortunately, a whole lot of us ended up missing out on some *very good* Britpop tunes as a result of that decision-making 😔.

Highlights:

Suede - "Trash" Kula Shaker - "Smart Dogs" Ash - "Oh Yeah" Geneva - "No One Speaks" Super Furry Animals - "Hometown Unicorn"

[khelinski]

Pt. Two.

I gulp and reveal my truth.

“It started with two pills. I would take one. Fall asleep. Wake up. Take another. Then one and one and one became three, like The Beatles song. Then, the next day – I would notice six pills missing from the bottle. I don’t remember taking that many. Maybe I did? I…”

…struggle to say…

“…don’t know.”

I get emotional again. I knew I needed to get this out. All of it.

“Two week’s worth of pills would disappear within three days. I would scratch my head wondering where it all went. There’s no way I could stomach all those pills. Fuck, how am I still alive?!?”

There is a water bottle next to me. I take a swig and continue with my confession.

“When I am on Ambien but before I fall asleep, I would sneak in the kitchen and have something to eat – but having no memory of what I consumed the next day. I would have conversations with my family but not remember what was said the next day.”

I pause, taking another gulp of water.

“Pills would also disappear on my days off when my migraines were at a 9 or 10 bracket. I would take one (or more, I don’t know) – and sleep off the pain during the day.”

“Did you mix the Ambien with other drugs?”

“No. I don’t think so.”

“Did you drink alcohol with the Ambien?”

“No. I’ve been sober since I started getting migraines.”

Fuck, over two years.

“Once you were out of Ambien for the month, what would you take to help you sleep?”

“Benadryl and Melatonin. The first night off Ambien is always the worst for me.”

“It’s called having withdrawals.”

“Yes. I would feel terrible for a few days, like a semi-truck running me over.”

“Why would you repeat this monthly, knowing how terrible you would feel?”

I don’t know. I don’t answer. Instead, I say the obvious.

“Addiction.”

I continue.

“I scared my family a few times. Though, I question what they aren’t saying – the times I was on this shit and they didn’t say anything about it. Much like how I was when…”

I get emotional thinking about my past life from 2013 to 2015. There's no need to dive into that ballad of a book. I take another drink of water and continue.

“…anyways, I guess when I am somewhere between awake and asleep on Ambien, I act like a zombie. Either I am standing and half out of it or in mid-conversation and half out of it. Sometimes, I am just standing, asleep, and unresponsive. When I get like that, I don’t know how many pills I’ve taken. That scares me. I’ve seen overdoses. I don’t want to overdose on Ambien.”

“Are you still taking the medication?”

“Yes. Currently, my parents are moderating what I take at night.”

“The important thing is you admitting that there is a problem.”

Oh, yes. There is a problem. It’s me, like that Taylor Swift song.

I glance around the office. It resembles the room that I tend to hide most of my life. I created my room into my little weird world. Books pile on top of books on multiple bookcases. Crates of vinyl records cluttering the floor. Movie posters on the wall. A TV screen with Universal Monster movies playing in the background. My therapist, that is Microsoft Word, assures me that I will be okay. That I am strong. That blah-blah-blah.

“Have you written anything lately?”

Yes, actually. And I think I am ready to write another book. But I don’t say that. Instead, I say:

“Slowly diving back into it.”

And for once, I feel a sense of confidence.

“Keep that momentum, and keep on keepin’ on – as you tell others’.”

The emotions come back. How did I let this happen? Perhaps every addict asks themselves that very question.

I gulp.

Now that my truth is out in the open, what now?

I ask myself this as I am keepin’ on keepin' on.

K.H.; 11/11/2023.

[shepard-ram]

Hello I'm light anon and i bring you the first chapter of an au i started awhile ago with the help of Ender anon (hi love you/p) , the supernatural au named Abnormalities and its very long

Abnormalities

Chapter One - Phasmophobia 2.5k words

:readmore:

“Prove it then.” 

Of course, Sap and Dream’s arguments always lead to some sort of challenge. Ever since you met them in middle school, it’s been like that. Sap would say something, Dream would fire back because Sap was clearly wrong in his eyes, and it would spiral from there. Today’s topic of debate: The existence of the paranormal. Specifically, ghosts.

What sparked it? A cheesy horror film you picked out for the monthly movie night. Your stereotypical ghost film with lazy jump scares with bad effects and acting.you only bought it so you four could laugh at it. You Guys laud sprawled on the couch while Sap took up the floor. All was well, Until Sap proclaimed that real ghosts wouldn’t be that shitty. Dream, heavily disagreed that ghosts even existed. George didn’t take a side but you backed Sap up. The world is to weird not to have ghosts in it.

”Oh absolutely.” Sap nodded, agreeing with your assessment.

Dream rolled his eyes “Sure, sure, just how are you going to prove me wrong? There isn’t a ‘haunted building’ anywhere in town.”

 At that moment George decided to speak up “What about the old willbeck farm?, the one a couple miles out of town. I always heard it was haunted by a kid or something.”

“That stupid place?  Those were just stories are parents told us to keep us from trespassing.”

You shrugged. “It’s a start.”

Next thing you know, you and sap blew your paychecks on ghost hunting equipment. You ordered the basics, an EMF meter, a good camera, a thermometer, you even bought a ‘Spirit box’ and some smudge sticks, all too spite Dream who complained that you were being scammed. 

You both ended up begging George to use his car to load up your equipment as he was the only one to have a large enough car for your equipment. He relented after a day of relentless begging. 

The Willbeck farm was a 40 minute drive from your home, which left a lot of room for discussion.

“You three are idiots.” 

You leaned forward to poke your head over the passenger seat. “You didn’t have to come, you know. You could have stayed back and do boring things like dressing up patches or something.”

He turned his head with narrowed eyes. “And make sure you guys didn’t fake your ‘proof?’ Not a chance.”

You laugh. “You’ll be the first one we feed to the ghosts.”

You bickered back and forth until George announced that they had finally made it. Not even seconds after he pulled into the clearing in front of the property, you and Sap practically kept out of the car and rushed to the trunk to get your gear. After distributing equipment amounts your group you took your first look at the house

The Farmhouse was much larger than you remembered reading about. It was a huge two story red building with a faded white trim. The word around it looked like it had been rotting for years and it definitely smelt like rot. AMany of the windows were broken in, and the glass was a gross brown color. The roof had some holes in it and the gutters had been ripped from the roof and laid scattered around the outside. A large barn was off to the side and had the same kind of wear to it. The entire property was surrounded by a torn up wire fencing, which had a lot of crows perched, eyeing you intensely. The Erie feeling the house gave off was intensified by the soft sound of the wind and the loud crow caws. 

If houses had a criteria to be haunted, this one checked off all the boxes

Sap let out a low whistle before lightly nudging your arm “Dude, this place makes your home look tiny!”

You scoffed at that. Sure your rented home was small, but was cheap enough to pay for while you worked your way through community college. A one bedroom, one bath, a combined kitchen/living space, all on top of a double garage was all you needed. 

It was a slow walk to the porch, all of you hesitant to actually set foot in the run down building. The steps creaked under you, and the wooden boards sunk slightly. You were at the head of the group, so you were the first one inside, taking a couple steps in the large foyer. It was full of outdated furniture, something you’d see out of the early 90’s. A large staircase sat to the left, hugging the wall as it pushed into the upstairs.  There was a door to your right, leading into what you believe was the kitchen.

You held the camera up and you got a good shot of the room, if there were no ghosts you’d at least have some cool photos.

The four of you spread out into  the room observing every corner of it. Sapnap was the one armed with the EMF reader. He waved the hand held device trying to get something, anything to read. He did manage to get one, honing onto a stuffed cow that was nestled into the couch.

It was dusty, like everything else in the room. Otherwise it was in semi good condition. It was... cute. Too cute to just be sitting in this old farmhouse for the rest of time. Dream had other opinions.

“That means nothing. It’s just a cow.” 

To be fair, it was the first time either of you had used this kind of equipment. You decided to put it in your bag, hoping to study it later. It could be a fluke, but you guys couldn’t bow down now!  The hunt has only just begun.

Every room on the first floor was subject to an EMF and Temperature checks. Dream and George fucked around while you and Sap scanned for anything that could be more than a fluke, the only thing that could be found was in the kitchen. A small carved statue of a crow.

It gave off the same readings as the cow plush, so perhaps it wasn’t a fluke. You found it sitting on the open windowsill, it was so life-like you almost mistake it for a living crow. Something was telling you that it was probably the oldest thing in the house. You gently placed it in your bag with the cow, another piece to your growing collection.

You took a moment to glance out the window. There were way too many crows sitting on the wire fence to be normal. It was the beginning of summer, so crows even migrate?

With the first floor cleared, you lead the charge upstairs. The floor boards only got louder with every step. You quietly asked whatever prime deity was watching that neither of your group would fall through the floor. The whole house felt unstable.

The top of the stairs lead you to a Hallway. It was small and only had two doors and at the end of it stood a large magnificent bookshelf.

You took the first door on the left accompanied by George while Sap and Dream opted to poke around in the hallway, formally splitting the group for the first time.

The room wasn’t very Large, nor could you tell what it was supposed to be used for as pretty much everything was covered with sheets of some kind. There were a couple of uncovered boxes laying on top of things, so it wasn’t completely boring. A couple of minutes of scavenging later, George called for your attention.

“Look at this” George presented you a beautiful lute from one of the few uncovered boxes. It was crafted out of a dark wood and had what you thought was engravings of fish along the sides. How old was this thing? Was it even usable?

“Let me see!” You asked, setting down the camera before making a grabby motion towards the lute, which was met with a questioning look from the Brit. “I want to see if it’s in tune.” 

He decided that it was a good enough answer before handing over the old thing. You strummed the strings, and it sounded surprisingly good, despite the cloud of dust that came off it. You paused for a brief moment before playing a quick melody, just a song you played back in middle school for a recital. You hummed along until yelps from outside and many thumps. 

You quickly set the Lute down and follow George out the door, fearing that something had gotten your two friends. However, instead of a gory mess, you saw Dream standing holding a book, while a whole pile of them at his feet, a few inches away from the bookshelf. 

“The shelves just collapsed on themselves.” He quietly said. The look on his face was puzzled, like he was still trying to figure out what had happened. 

“Or maybe,” Sap started. “The ghost doesn’t like you touching his stuff.”

“I’m keeping it then, the ghost doesn’t need it.” 

“What’s the title of it?” You asked as you fake over to view the damage. Dream opened the book and flipped through it. 

“It’s old, There isn’t a title nor is it in English, old English I think.”

What was such an old book doing in a relatively modern house? You shake the thought away and motioned for Dream to give it to you. “I’ll hold onto it, I want to see if I can get it translated.” Another treasure for your growing collection.

You turned back to check on George, he wasn’t next to you, instead he was messing with the final door, seeming to unjam the lock and push into the room. You decided to grab the lute and take it as a keepsake.

Picking it up again made your head feel... loud. You couldn’t tell which thoughts were yours and which were intruding. A pair of eyes were watching you somehow but the room was empty. Panic rose in your chest, your heart was beating so so loud. A cold hand touched your shoulders, yet you couldn’t tell if it meant you harm or not.

“Hey... are you okay?”

And it stopped. Everything was clear again. You turned your head to look back seeing Sap poke his head through the door. “You’ve been standing here for a while.”

You nod, “Yeah yeah... we should- we should stop splitting up.”

You’d only find out later that the Lute has the same effects that the other two objects did.

The house search was a bit of a bust. The only ‘Supernatural’ experience you had was the EMF meter going off and the strange experience with the lute which you opted not to tell your friends about, writing off as the Erie nature of the house getting to you.

Finding nothing else interesting, you took one last look at the entrance room before stepping out. You feel a weird sense of longing, something pulling at you not to go. You tried to shake off the feeling and you walked back to the car, just to put all your goodies away in the trunk. 

All that was left on your to-do list was to check the outside area and the barn. Being the person that you are, you went straight to the barn. They boys could handle the rest of the property alone. alone  The building had no doors you waltzed right though the entryway. Despite never actually being in a barn, it looked right to you.

It was devoid of any livestock, but there was Hay everywhere. Light shined through the holes in the ceiling, making the room clear enough. The soft blue liquid that was spread across the hay-

Wait. What?

Doing a second take revealed that the whole barn has some weird blue goo smeared everywhere. It looked too Fresh to be painted, it looked wet. There didn’t seem to be a set trail, just pools of it. You found most of it by a ladder that led up to a new section of the barn.

The blue substance was dripping from the loft of the barn. 

It had to be.

And you were right! Sort of. Finally dragging yourself up the old latter not really minding the blue that now stained your clothes, you found the source.

He was standing- floating?- there, as if waiting for someone. The man was tall, taller than you or any of their friends, absolutely towering over you. His entire pallet was muted, his skin was fucking Grey. His attire was strange too. Something out of a renaissance fair. What was the strangest was that he was translucent and bleeding? Out of a cut on his chest. That blue substance oozing out of his stomach onto the floor boards.

He smiled.

“You found me, little songbird.”

The temperature drop had you shivering, but that also could have been from the absolute terror of seeing a real ghost.

That loud feeling returned in full force, directing your attention onto him.. You had to go. But it was like you were frozen place. He moved to cup your face, cooing as he looked you over.

“It’s not polite to touch things that aren’t yours, yet you handle them with so much care... I don’t mind.”

He wasn’t acting out of malice, thank prime, but It didn’t make it any less uncomfortable. He was too close.

“.... pretty songbird. My pretty songbird.”

A beat past before you could hear your friends calling for you. Your head cleared for a moment so you took it and ran. Practically flying down the ladder and hurting yourself in the fall. Ignoring the pain you booked it to the car right past Dream and Sap, who were standing by the entrance to the barn.

“We- We have to go. Now. Please we need to... to...” you couldn’t really tell what you were saying, everything was moving too fast. Great Prime, that was a real ghost. You- You were talking to a ghost. A Ghost called you a Song bird. 

A Ghost.

That ended your hunt right there and then. You weren’t in a fit state to keep going. Especially not when you’re covered in... whatever this blue stuff is. You’d come to find later that you had a blue hand print on your face, right where the man had cradled your face.

You’re so out of it, you don’t realize when your friends are guiding you up the stairs to your home. One of them says something about leaving the loot in your garage, but you don’t really care. This is a future problem. You give a small thank you and a swift goodbye before passing out the second you feel your pillow under you.

So deep in sleep you don’t realize that your tiny home has a few new residents wandering about. 

Or the fact that one of them watched over you as you slept

-----------

I AM SIMPLY ASHAMED OF HOW LONG IVE BEEN PUTTING THIS OFF IT WAS A CRINE TO NOT LET Y'ALL SEE THIS EARLIER. LIGHT YOU'VE DONE A FANTASTIC JOB AAUAUGGG

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 11/2/21

not QUITE a completely fallow week but a pretty quiet week

listening castin’ my spell, johnny otis. various versions of this song have various levels of twang. it’s so bouncy! one of the earliest examples of the double-clap i have ever heard

starstruck, sorry. this song sounds like shouldering your way through a crowded dive bar just before closing. less sleazy, more comfortable in your own skin and taking up space about it. it’s a rolling, visceral little thing. it’s a duet but it’s not? i normally do not enjoy extraneous mouth sounds in songs, but that “ooough” instead of another drumbeat is pleasing. the vocal mix is very 2020s, but there’s something faintly shimmery in the guitar that’s very nineties

shoutout to the lyrics

Temper tantrums, western boys You're the expert, no, I wouldn't question why You're the looker, liquor, sugar And I'm the rotten apple of your eye  

reading so i was planning to read the ballad of black tom by victor lavalle, and read the horror at red hook by hp lovecraft to get some background, and lovecraft’s story was such an unpleasant little thing it has put me off reading anything for several days.

it startled me how much i reacted to this short story and i’ve been trying to pin down exactly why it’s left me feeling gross since friday night. i think the heart of the matter is that our main character, detective malone, is so carelessly cruel. the man is irish but instead of like fulfilling the american dream with the help of the local workers union and the local parish, he’s a cop and he’s whiplashed all the way in the other direction to exterminate anything that doesn’t fit in with middle-aged, middle-class white america.

the hypocrisy of malone, who speaks multiple “learned” languages, but who is also deathly afraid of anyone speaking a language he doesn’t recognize would have been interesting in a different author’s hands. malone’s side hobby of reading about various “occult” religious practices and beliefs is fine. suydam, who has the same hobby but more importantly is the author of a notable pamphlet, does not pass a vibe check and is immediately under suspicion for being rude, poor, and knowing his equally poor and non-white neighbors. DO something (not even something new or interesting! just SOMETHING!) with this characterization ANYTHING im BEGGING you

lovecraft, writing in the age of industrialization, could have done interesting things with “city as malevolent entity” or “tourists are always bad” or “the social failures inherent to large cities naturally drive people to desperation” but unfortunately he was irredeemably awful.

watching the queen of the damned. this movie is SO fucking stupid but so so earnest and i love it. if i had seen this in high school it would have been uncomfortably formative. this scene is apparently only available in 240p but my gender is club scenes in vampire movies

claudia black my beloved is also in this movie for some inexplicable reason. i love a story within a story, i love sad indie boys, i love a lush little hidden garden courtyard.

playing genshin update: they have added a semi-monthly roguelike event. i could not begin to tell you what the fuck their ongoing plan for this game is but they did start out in china (i think they are legally incorporated in Not China) and things are happening so much with the chinese games industry. godspeed to the big tiddy gacha game, and cross your fingers i get the big tiddy anime man in the banner after the update

making fallow week

[illneverrecover]

growl | kth (m)

➛pairing: Kim Taehyung x reader  (per usual) ➛summary: Clearing his throat, he tries again, gaze intense. His eyes are about to fall out of his skull with the power of his attempt at a telepathic message to his friend. “Come on, Jimin. Ask me. You know what? I’ll help you. I pick dare.” A sly glint of amusement pulls at the edge of Jimin’s mouth, his tongue darting out to wet his lips. You look back and forth between the two of them, not sure what was happening but sure as hell knowing it was going to be nothing be trouble. “I dare you to sing a song that shows off your best growling for our girl here,”  ➛genre: non idol!AU, friends to lovers, slice of life, smut ➛word count: 4605 ➛rating: explicit/mature (y’all been knew) ➛warnings:  alcohol use, cursing, cliche use of ‘truth or dare’, Seokjin singing dope songs at karaoke, Jimin being chaotic, slight dirty talk, semi public sex, oral (male receiving), swallowing, Taehyung being a secret softie. ➛notes: Firstly, I would like to start off by saying that this fic idea came from @destiel1597 and the pure lethal sex that is 5th Muster Taehyung™, so this is truly their fault. The both of them. Secondly, y’all should’ve known that the minute I saw  5th Muster Taehyung™, I’d have to let the thirst out somehow. I don’t have self control. Lastly, shoutout to my bby @taetaesbaebaepsae for assisting me & @purpletigertaetae for spamming me with rude Tae inspo to fuel the thotting. You the best.  I promise my next fic will be about another member. If Tae would just RELAX I wouldn’t have to be like this!! ➛song: Toxic - Alex & Sierra (which is the version Tae sings in this. Listen to it and picture him singing it and tell me you wouldn’t do the same). Ma City - BTS 5th Muster version (which you should go watch immediately if you haven’t - this growling Tae was the muse for this entire sinful piece.) 

                             ᴄʀᴏss-ᴘᴏsᴛᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ AO3;; ʟɪɴᴋ ɪɴ ᴅᴇsᴄʀɪᴘᴛɪᴏɴ 

“How many times are you going to dare me to sing this song?”

Seokjin’s face had a thin sheen of sweat, the bright disco lights of the cozy karaoke booth bouncing off his skin, showing the exasperation evident on his face.

“Until it stops being funny. So…” you look around at the others, pausing to sip at your drink. “Never. Get to it, lover boy.” 

He sighs heavily but did as he was told, picking up the microphone and waiting for the flatscreen to start scrolling with the lyrics. The first few bars of the song blared through the speakers, and the guys gave supporting hoots to encourage him. 

Despite his earlier protest, he quickly gets into it, eyebrows furrowed as he dramatically swings the mic, belting out the first few notes. “I gotta take a little time, a little time to think things over...I better read between the lines, in case I need it when I'm older…” 

Next to you, Taehyung laughs deeply, throwing his head back as the elder continues, eyes glistening with unshed tears. No one else in the room was faring much better, every single person in some stage of cracking up at his theatrics. Forcing Seokjin to sing Foreigner songs is always hilarious, and one of your favorite parts of your friends bi-monthly karaoke meetups.

No one really knows when or how the tradition started (though rumor has it, it was at your drunken demand to ‘show off the golden pipes’), but these nights in the same small private room of your local karaoke bar had quickly become the favorite in your friend group. Twice a month, regardless of what was going on, everyone agreed to meet up for dinner, drinks, and the most ridiculous yet always entertaining game of truth or dare - karaoke style.

It was typical of your friends to never do anything the normal way, and this was no different. Instead of selecting songs of personal preference to sing for the room, they were always chosen as either a dare, or a failure to participate in a truth. It was asker's choice, and the victim wasn’t allowed to veto, less they wanted to foot the entire bill for the evening. And between seven men in their mid twenties and the pickled livers of you and your friend, Nari - that was a hefty price to pay. 

Seokjin reaches the chorus, the build up so intense that it’s no surprise when he drops to his knees, his tenor still in pitch and  beautiful despite the theatrics. “I want to know what love is! I want you to show me! I want to feel what love is, I know you can show me!” 

He’s clutching at his chest while staring into Yoongi’s eyes, the younger man expressionless as if this performance was something he saw on the regular. Which, to be fair - it was.

Slinging back the dregs, you lean to grab the bottle of vodka on the table before a large hand beats you to it, Taehyung smiling down at you as he scoots closer. “The usual, milady?” 

You slap his arm, eyes rolling. “Gross, no one says ‘milady’, Tae.” 

He giggles, filling it halfway with the liquor before topping it off with some seltzer - just the way you like it. You were only two drinks in, but the honeyed sound of his laugh always flustered you, a light burn flushing your cheeks. His long, dark hair was wavy and messy in that perfect way that made you want to sink your fingers into it, and between that and the peek of golden chest through the undone buttons of his dark dress shirt, you found yourself feeling thirsty. Well, thirstier than you normally were for Kim Taehyung.

It had become a running gag with the other guys - your little school girl crush on Taehyung, something that they used to tease you at any given opportunity. It seemed to personally offend them that you wouldn’t say anything to the brunette, and no matter how many times you explained you didn’t want to fuck with the group dynamics, they couldn’t seem to stop sticking their noses directly into your business. You’d be annoyed by their immature comments if it wasn’t for the fact that the handsome man seemed completely oblivious to them - and your feelings. 

Thank fuck for that. 

Handing you the freshened beverage, Taehyung moves to pour more into his glass before settling, large thigh pressing into your own. He has always been an affectionate guy, so when he threw an arm over your shoulder just as Seokjin hit the last notes of the song, you didn’t blink an eye. 

However, Jimin did.

He had been watching all night, seeing the way his best friend was buttering you up, going out of his way to try and make you laugh, to make you smile. The way you would scoff and roll your eyes to hide your heated cheeks or the way your thighs were pressing together any time he touched you. Taehyung’s feelings for you were practically neon red signs to Jimin, and yet you seemed obnoxiously unaware - something that was starting to make Jimin crazy. 

Getting involved probably wasn’t wise - neither party had asked for his help. But since when did he ever claim to be wise? Jimin prided himself on being a meddler - he couldn’t just not meddle. Especially when such an opportunity presents itself.

Bowing to the loud cheers, Seokjin moves to sit back down on another sofa, chugging the remnants of his glass. “Alright Joon, it’s your turn - Truth or Dare? And try not to be lame this time, please.”

Namjoon scoffs, faux offense on his face as he glares at his elder. “Hey! Picking truth isn’t lame! I’m telling you my deepest darkest secrets here!” 

“Pretty sure admitting that you want to touch Nari’s tits isn’t a secret, but nice try,” Yoongi deadpans, causing the room to break out in laughter.  You tried to focus on the game, on what ridiculous question Seokjin had prepared for Namjoon, but instead all you could feel was the warmth of Tae’s arm draped around you, all you could think about was how he smelled like a mixture teakwood and lavender, and how much you wanted him to ruin you.

“Y/n!”

Snapping your eyes towards the shout, you come face to face with a deviously smirking Jimin, leaning forward on his knees. He was twirling the straw in his glass like a super villain, and everything about the look he was giving you had your nerves on edge.

“Yes, Jimin? Is there something you need?”

“It’s your turn - truth or dare,” he coos, eyes dancing with mischief. God, he’s such a fucking Slytherin. You were in for it now - you could feel it in your bones.

“Last time I picked ‘dare’ you made me sing half of Evanescence’s discography-”

“Hey, to be fair, you knew it all  by heart and fucking nailed it,” Jungkook interjected, giving you a proud grin.

“Well - yeah, okay I did, thank you very much - but as I was saying, I’ve learned my lesson. I pick truth,” you reply smugly, glaring at the dark haired man. Jimin may look sweet, but luckily you know better than to ignore his cunning.

Which is why you shouldn’t have been surprised when he started cackling.

Eyes creasing into half moons, he threw his head back, running a hand through his hair as he faces you once more, eyebrows waggling. “What’s one thing about Taehyung that you find attractive?”

You choke, grappling for your drink to soothe the burning in your throat, though you were sure it was only making it worse. Face on fire, you looked at him with wide eyes as you cough in a feeble attempt to remember how to speak. 

A warm palm starts patting your back, the man in question leaning down to look into your eyes. “Are you okay?”

“Yes, Tae, I’m fine,” you glare at Jimin, his victorious smirk enraging you further. The last thing you want to do is answer this truthfully; anything obvious is going to weird Taehyung out, but you know if you try and give a lame answer, Jimin will have no issues calling your ass out for it.

“Well, I like his singing voice…” you murmur, eyes focused on the ice melting in your glass, which you immediately bring to your lips once more.

Jimin rolls his eyes, scoffing. “His singing voice? What does that even mean?” he kicks at your leg, pushing you further. “Like… the tone? Or just how it sounds?” he sputters incredulously, choking back a laugh.

“Fuck you! Yes, how it sounds. And also when he does that deep growling thing?” you shiver, shaking your head. “I don’t know, it just gets me. It’s really hot.” 

Whoops, seems the vodka had done some of the talking for you, but it was too late to take it back. You feel your skin heat, but you hold your head high, raising a brow at Jimin in defiance.

The room falls silent for a beat, all eyes on you until Jungkook wolf whistles, everyone breaking out in hoots and yells. You turn to the man next to you, expecting him to blush coyly or even brush you off with a gentle smile - he was nothing if not kind - but instead you find a shit eating grin peering down at you. Cocking your head, you look at him questioningly, but he just winks before slugging back the rest of his drink, his gaze drifting to Jimin’s over your head.

It was all he needed to hear.

Your words were the perfect fuel to the fire of alcohol in his veins to make Taehyung feel bold, yet he was still sober enough to know that this could finally be his chance to show you how he feels.

“Jimin, ask me a question.” Taehyung declares, leaning back into the sofa, dark eyes dancing with mischief. 

“Technically, it’s Y/N’s turn to ask-” Namjoon mumbles, but is quickly shut down by the shouts of displeasure from the group, Hoseok and Jungkook both nudging him while the latter murmurs something about being a ‘cock block’. 

Clearing his throat, he tries again, gaze intense. His eyes are about to fall out of his skull with the power of his attempt at a telepathic message to his friend. “Come on, Jimin. Ask me. You know what? I’ll help you. I pick dare.”

A sly glint of amusement pulls at the edge of Jimin’s mouth, his tongue darting out to wet his lips. You look back and forth between the two of them, not sure what was happening but sure as hell knowing it was going to be nothing be trouble. 

“I dare you to sing a song that shows off your best growling for our girl here,” 

The room erupts in cheers and howls once more, your eyes widening as you reach for your glass. Shit, you’re going to need more vodka to survive this, and you know it. 

Taehyung moves languidly to the front of the room, the side of your body he had been pressed to all evening now left cold. He scrolls through the screen with a sharp focus, honeyed gaze looking over at you every once in awhile to make sure you were still paying attention. And the smile he would give when you were- it practically had your heart in your throat. You looked over at Nari, trying to get her to join you on your couch of pain, but she just blew you a kiss before settling back into her spot next to Yoongi, throwing you a shrug.

That bitch.

All too soon he gives a cheer of victory, looking out over the group as he selects the song, moving to the microphone stand. He poses in front of the room, everyone in attendance on the edges of their seats with anticipation for the music to start.

And then the first notes ring out, and a switch flips.

Gone was the sweet and goofy man you’ve all come to know, and in his place is a demon in black, looking like pure sin. His eyes darken as they land on you,  his lips curving in a confident smirk as he grabs the mic to pull closer to his mouth. Sensual plucks of guitar fills the room in a familiar tune, though a version you hadn’t heard before - the upbeat pop turned into a song of seduction.

“Baby can’t you see, I’m calling. A girl like you should wear a warning. It’s dangerous, I’m fallin’...”

Taehyung is all lust powered flirtation, hips seductively sliding back and forth as he continues to croon the lyrics, casting his molten chocolate eyes to your own. He was dancing closer, his steps slow and purposeful, and you felt the rest of the room fade away as you focused on him - and only him.

The chorus hits, and he smoothly switches from his velvet baritone to growling along with the lyrics, body rolling before sliding on his knees directly in front of you, so close you could see the sweat trail down his neck to bury into the open V of his shirt.

“Taste of your lips I’m on a ride. You’re toxic, I’m slipping under. With a taste of a poison paradise I’m addicted to you - don’t you know that you’re toxic?” he purrs, leaning into you,  a singular finger coming to trace up the exposed skin of your calf.

Everything was suddenly too hot, the room too stifled - you couldn’t get any air to cooperate and flow into your lungs, all your blood pooling in your cheeks. Your heart is racing, sweat dotting your hairline as you stare at the dark haired male in front of you, unable to pull away.

“I think Y/N is about to orgasm in the middle of this bar.”

“Min Yoongi, I swear to FUCK, I will murder you,” you force between clenched teeth, turning to glare at the blonde in question. You can see the retort build on his lips before a palm cups your cheek, pulling your attention back forward.

Taehyung was a breath away from you now, pupils blown wide and voice dangerously low as he continued singing, each word dripping with desire. His hand curves around your jaw, a finger slipping down the long column of your neck until it graced the thin skin of your collarbone.

“Too high, can't come down. It's in the air, it's all around...Can you feel me now?”

Fuck, he was going to ruin you.

Mouth falling open, you squeeze your thighs together uncontrollably, your hands death gripping at the sofa beside you in an effort to keep yourself from moaning. It was embarrassing; how easily his performance was turning you on, how a few throaty murmurs of a song from this man had you falling apart. 

Taehyung was nothing but sinful temptation, and he knew it. 

A small part of you heard the cat calls and lewd shouts from your friends, but you couldn’t concentrate on them. Not when the tall sex god was leaning nearer, using your knees as leverage to pull himself up so he could push your thighs completely together, walking himself forward until he could perch into your lap. Oh my fucking God, he’s sitting in your lap.

The music swells into the ending crescendo, and he continues to rasp the lyrics in low, dulcet tones, eyes never leaving your own. “Intoxicate me now, with your lovin' now. I think I'm ready now, I think I'm ready now,”

You gasped, the intention of the words and the vehement look in his eyes making it seem like it was more than just a song - it was a statement, a confession. Breath seized in your rib cage, your bottom lip trapped between your teeth to stop you from asking more.

Shit, you were ready to risk it all for Kim Taehyung.

Before you could say anything further, he growls out the final lines of the song, the sultriness of his voice causing electricity to race down your spine as he holds out the final note. The music finishes, and his chest is heaving with the effort of his seduction, eyes sparkling with pride.

The entire booth erupts into boisterous claps and cheers, several of the guys standing in ovation causing Taehyung to chuckle nervously, the switch seemingly flipped once more.

He slides off your lap, panting as he moves to pour himself some water, leaving you to gape at him fully. His dark curled locks are dampened with sweat, and despite the easy grin on his face you could clearly still see the fire burning deep in his gaze.

“What the hell, Tae! Where did that come from?” you shout, though a smile was already on your face. “You gotta warn a bitch first, damn. I think I’m sweating,” 

Hoseok moves to stand beside him, slapping a hand onto the younger’s shoulder. “Yeah man, I mean she’s probably dripping everywhere by now.” 

You shriek in indignation, punctuating the sentiment with a lime wedge beamed directly at Hoseok’s over-sized skull.

“Hey, don’t attack me! What, do you need us to get you a pad?”

“Sincerely fuck you, Hobi.”

While the others continue to congratulate Taehyung for his one man show, you suck down the rest of your drink, moving to stand. Your knees wobble, and you’re unsure what affected you more - all the booze you drank, or him. Damn, you need a moment.  Slinking toward the exit, you search for the bathroom,  relief washing over you as you spot it down the hallway. 

You’re about to grab for the handle when lithe fingers wrap around your wrist, pulling you to turn around before your back is pressed to the cool wall of the club. You hiss at the contact, eyes blazing as they take in the culprit - Taehyung. 

“Tae?”

He smooths his hands up your arms until each palm is flat against the wall on either side of your head, effectively trapping you in place. His pupils are brimming with depth-less lust though the smile on his face is sweet, the clash making your head swim. 

“I’m sorry if I embarrassed you back there,” he murmurs, eyes searching your own. “But it was the perfect chance, and I had to act on it. I couldn’t just sit back and wait any longer, Y/N.” 

“Wait any longer for what? I’m not sure if I’m following-”

“Wait any longer to tell you how I feel about you. Wait any longer to do this.”

You weren’t expecting for his mouth to press against yours, but your lips moved automatically, parting and sighing to accommodate him. His body soon followed, relaxing against your form as his hands moved to cup your jaw. You groaned at the feeling of him, your fingers wrapping around the base of his neck to tangle into his hair. 

Feeling him like this only makes you want more, tongue moving to lick at the seams of his pout before he was sliding his own in kind. He groaned when they met in the middle, the sound causing arousal to pool rapidly low in your gut. Dragging his teeth against your lower lip, he gave you a nibble before pulling away, forehead pressed to yours.

“Does this mean you like me too?” he questions breathlessly, small smile on his face. 

“I’ve always liked you, Tae,” you whisper, turning his head so you could suck at the tender spot under his jaw, his answering whine encouraging your ministrations. “I liked you when we were friends, and I think I like you a bit more after that display.” 

He chuckles lowly, digits sinking into your hair only to pull you back to meet his gaze. “When we were friends? What, are we not friends anymore?”

“Well, not just friends, I hope….” you purr, leaning forward to press your mouth against his swollen bottom lip. “Friends don’t know the way you taste, do they?” 

A groan of your name is his only response before he’s back on you, licking into your mouth with such fervor your knees start to shake. His tongue is relentless, seeking to savor you fully before moving to taste the skin of your neck, your collarbone, the top of your breast. Falling into the lure of Taehyung was all too easy - almost enough to have you forgetting that you were in some stale bar’s dim hallway. 

Grabbing his shoulders, you spin until you have effectively switched places, Taehyung’s tall form now pressed against the wall as you nibble at the exposed skin of his chest. “I think you deserve a performance of your own, don’t you think?” you sigh, eyes inspecting his own, awaiting his approval. 

“I think I’m one lucky bastard who would be a fool to say no to someone as amazing as you,”

The blatant affection in his voice makes you freeze, your throat tightening with every hopeful squeeze of your heart. You were trying to convince him to let you suck him off in the karaoke bar bathroom, and he had to go and say sweet shit like that? 

Shaking your head, you giggle at the sentiment. “You’re too good to me, Tae,” you hum, hands gripping his biceps to drag him towards you, legs propelling you back until you feel the door give way, the light to the restroom automatically clicking on. 

A victorious grin quirks at your lips when you see the private bathroom empty, and a quick flick of your wrist has the door locked just as Taehyung envelopes you into his chest. 

His kisses only intensify, lips undressing you until you were soft and wet and pliant, grasping for anything you could to ground you to him. You make quick work of several more of his buttons until you could nip and bite at his chest unrestricted, your hand fumbling with his belt. 

A low, throaty moan echoed as you grasp his length, freeing him from his trousers enough that you were able to feel him completely in your palm. His cock was just as beautiful as he was, long and thick and dripping with precum, and the thought of having it in your mouth had a rush of arousal flood between your thighs. 

You wince when your knees hit the cool tile, though the promise of tasting him numbed any senses but the ones attuned to him. You thumb at his leaking head softly, his groans edging you near until you could smell his excitement, breath ghosting hot on his cock. Mouth falling open, you slide forward until his hardness was resting on the bed of your tongue, your lips closing to give the tip gentle sucks.

“Fuck, love.  You don’t have to do this, you know, we can-”

Swirling your tongue, you push further, hollowing your cheeks to take him deep into your mouth until he was kissing the back of your throat, your nose nestled into the coarse hairs against his pelvis. His size already had your jaw aching, but the way he groaned your name made it worth the discomfort, and you glide back until only the head remained.

Letting him fall out with a lewd pop, you lick a wide strip up the side of his cock, peering up at him through your lashes. 

“Do you want me to stop?”

“God, please don’t.” 

The words were barely out of his mouth before you moved yours back over his length, taking him as deep as you can each time, relishing the way he stretched your throat. You couldn’t stop imagining how he’d feel inside you, how intense and satisfying the initial burn would be when he was fully sheathed in your aching cunt - how much sweeter your orgasm would feel because it was caused by his cock, caused by him.

His dulcet whines and soft moans were the only sounds besides the wet slide of your mouth, and hearing him sound so desperate for you had you mewling against him, your fingers itching to press against your throbbing clit. 

“You’re taking me so good, love. Feel so fucking amazing  wrapped around my cock,” he hissed, a hand lowering to tangle into the tresses at your crown, guiding you gently. “Such a good girl for me. I’m going to make you come so fucking hard when we get home,”  

His hips started thrusting to meet your movements, the slides becoming sloppy as he got close to his peak. “With my fingers, my  mouth, my cock. I’m going to have you coming so much you’re going to have to beg me to stop.” 

The naughtiness of his words had you moaning around him, the vibrations causing him to let out a cry of your name. You’re sure your panties are ruined at this point, the tops of your thighs sticky with arousal, and as much as you want to touch yourself, you wanted to fall apart under Taehyung even more. 

Pulling off to let air return to your lungs, you glide over him with your fist, urging him to let go. “Come for me, Tae. Let me taste you,” you rasp, before sinking your mouth down him once more. 

“God, you’re so fucking perfect. You gonna swallow me, love?” he breathes, both hands coming to wrap deep in your hair as he continues his pumping, lust filled gaze boring into your own. You nod as you blink up at him, your lips swollen with abuse.

“Fuck, that’s it.. So good, love, I-I’m coming-” 

You still as he tugs at your locks, holding you in place as he thrusts his length deep in your mouth, the warmth of his release coating your raw throat. Swallowing, you allow him several stutters of his hips before he pulls away, hands smoothing to cup your face. 

“Holy hell, Y/N, that was…. Are you okay?” Worry etches his brow as he reaches out for you, taking in your messy appearance - saliva mixed with come dripping from the corners of your lips, black mascara trails smudging the edges of your cheeks. You’re gasping for air, but you couldn’t help the satisfied smile as you took his hands, allowing him to raise you to your feet. 

“Seeing you fall apart was one of the hottest things I’ve ever witnessed, Tae. I’m more than okay, trust me.” 

He blushes at your words, and the irony that the complement made him more shy than when he was ramming his dick down your throat not lost on you.  

He tucks himself back into his pants before adjusting your clothes as well,  delicate thumbs rising to wipe away the remnants of your shared tryst off your face before giving you a chaste kiss. 

“So, does that mean… you’ll go out with me?” he questions hopefully, giddy anticipation in his eyes. You weren’t sure if you would ever get used to the rapid switch of power Taehyung wields between sweet and sin, not that you were complaining. 

“Yes, Tae. I’ll go out with you,” you grin, the brightness of his smile infectious. “Plus, I seem to recall someone promising to make me come so much that I’ll be begging them to stop…” you trail off, mischief evident in your teasing glance.

Throwing back his head with a honeyed laugh, he pushes open the door, arm gesturing out to the empty hall before him. “Ah, yes - I believe you are correct. After you, milady,”

Groaning, you slap his chest as you walk past. “Say that again and I’ll go home with Seokjin.”

[fallen-honor]

YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS BITCHES, SEMI MONTHLY SONGS THAT FUCK

[voidcat]

HQ!! boys as Car Seat Headrest fans p1

Miya Atsumu: Furry. He’s a furry and proud. He was suggested CSH by some of his online furry friends and likes the vibes of the band but the old songs/10+ min songs? They’re too sad for him, he can’t fuck w that. He vibes w the song Bodys a lot though

Miya Osamu: not a fan, never will be. Thanks to Tsumtsum, all CSH fans are furries in his eyes and nothing can change that.

Suna Rintarou: not a fan but doesn’t have anything against the band. He likes the Minecraft parody cover of Beach Life In Death. He got curious to check the og lyrics once and Nope, Not his cup of tea. He somehow gets all the CSH memes and attacks Atsumu w them

Hinata Shoyo: poor baby has no idea. “Why are we talking about cars?” He likes the melodies but the songs are too sad for him to listen. He hopes the writer (Will Toledo) is okay now.

Listen,, at some point during their MSBY years Atsumu took him to a furrycon. (Pls find better flirting techniques tsumtsum, being a furry ain’t it) Whatever happened there has both of them shocked to the core but they refuse to tell, ever since Hinata and Kageyama have gotten into a dynamic weirder than before. Some days they’ll just stare at one another in completely unsettling silence.

Tsukishima Kei: no one knows this but he definitely enjoys the 10+ min songs. Ballad of Costa Concordia??? Volume up! I Want You To Know...??? Volume all the way up!! He appreciates the genius lyrics wrapped in lofi tunes. If you see him showing the slightest bit of emotion while he listens to music, it’s because Will Toledo is, yet again, yelling about a human emotion(s). Twin Fantasy FTF and Teens of Denial are his favorite albums. (gay yearning, that’s all i am saying)

Nishinoya Yuu & Tanaka Ryosunuke: They aren’t into the band much but they def enjoy the memes and jokes. Esp the furry jokes (ie: “WILL TOLEDO MADE ME A FURRY”) this scares Asahi a lot.

Asahi Azumane: like Osamu, he associates CSH w furries. He doesn’t know what they are, he doesn’t want to know. The things he heard from Noya and Tanaka are enough to scare him off

Kageyama Tobio: Not a Fan but he ran into Hinata (and atsumu) at a furrycon. No he doesn’t want to talk about it. Yes his fursona is a cow.

Yamaguchi Tadashi: he accidentally heard a part of a song from Tsukki’s earphones once and asked him about it, Tsukki left so fast and avoided him for a day. (The song was Beach Life in Death......) ever since that day he doesn’t like the band.

Ennoshita Chikara and Daichi Sawamura: not a fan of the band nor the fans. They hope the fanbase will get some help soon. Praying for you 🙏🏽

Shimizu Kiyoko: she’s not a virgin. She’s in control of her emotions and she got her shit together. She has long passed the phase to listen to CSH. Not a fan but appreciates the lyrics.

Semi Eita: def likes the band, avoids the fanbase. He has monthly crying sessions to his favorite songs.

Ushijima Wakatoshi: he holds furry potential. “What is... ‘shabba de bop bop be shibby day’?” Semi had a heart attack that day, Tendou tried explaining the lyrics and the metaphors, Ushi found them dumb and unnecessary. He thinks Will Toledo(and the fan base) is weak and he doesn’t like it.

Oikawa Tooru: if you ask him, he will refuse but he connects with the band so badly and deeply I can’t make this shit up. How To Leave Town? That album was made for Him! Twin Fantasy? Half of it was made for Him and him only. He avoids the fanbase like the Black Plague, he can’t damage his reputation as a potential furry

Matsukawa Issei & Hanamaki Takahiro: not a fan but they tease Oikawa. They esp make memes of “the gay dogs” (the album cover of Twin Fantasy)

Iwaizumi Hajime: he walked in on Oikawa crying to The Ending of Dramamine once and he isn’t sure if Oikawa saw him but they both pretend it never happened. Anything that can make shittykawa cry is powerful and evil. Def not a fan

Terushima Yuuji: furry? Yes. CSH fan? No. I won’t elaborate.

[deliciouschickenjuice]

The Challenging Depths Of Man

I

I am, you may say, a "fish pervert".

As a scuba diver I am not unique in this regard. In fact, it is a poorly-kept secret that the vast majority of scuba divers are fish perverts. I mean, what other possible reason could we have for risking the kinds of death most men only dream of in the kind of steaming nightmares that come when the nights are humid and inescapable? What do you think we occupy our minds with in the diving bell eternities while we keep the bends at arm's length if not the undulating, shivering forms of fins and flippers?

No, we are humble fish fanciers and we do not care for, nor about, your judgement. You should not be surprised that we shirk society's expectations when we look death in its suboceanic rod-rich retinas every day of our damned lives. Within the first week of training a fellow diver, a fine boy from my own hometown by the name of Felix Trunkopolis, was crushed by a dropped anchor which had been customised to look like a gigantic pair of buttocks in tight-fitting lycra. Such tragedies are commonplace. His diving partner, Chudwick, having not warned him of the obvious danger (distracted as he was by a particularly alluring Pterois Lunulata), inherited the entirety of Felix's considerable debt and the burden of the nine monstrous Trunkopolis children. Chudwick accepted this burden magnanimously. Any of us would have accepted it likewise, because Diving Law states that it must be so.

We all know of the danger, and of the cost of inattention. Diver Law exists to keep us together, and to keep us alive, and is simple: if your diving partner perishes, you inherit their life's responsibilities. It is simple, clear, and extremely legally binding.

It is thus that we divers are bonded as brother and sister. Bonded in responsibility, in fraternity, and in fish pervertery. It is thus that we remain strong.

I, Phil Glanschirp, am a scuba diver. Or at least I was before James Cameron ruined my life.

II

Depending on who you ask in the diving community, James Cameron was either a missed opportunity, a charlatan, or an aberration. He was a missed opportunity because, despite his interest in oceanography and the power that he wields culturally, he did not include a single shot in Titanic of caviar being massaged out of a beluga sturgeonfish's asshole. He was a charlatan because, like so many other rich men with expensive hobbies, he expected to swoop in and solve all of our problems despite an almost total lack of experience. He was an aberration because he did not once express a desire to fuck a fish.

There are technical and logistical factors underpinning the incident, of course, but it is my sincere belief that James Cameron was turned into compressed bonechum at the bottom of the ocean that day because he did not develop the deep bonds shared by the diving community. The rest of us have spent person-years together drinking in semi-abandoned dive bars (pun unavoidable) where the marine air rusts the emptying beer kegs hungrily. We have been bored, together, alone, in steel bedrooms with a view of the infinite waterline, passing well-thumbed copies of Fishy Rendezvous Monthly amongst ourselves samizdatically despite the fact such material is not just allowed but encouraged. As we pull our hands to our chest ready to slip backwards from the deck into Andaman, deep green waters, we hold Diver Law to our hearts, each of us an oath-bound Hippocrates.

I must admit that, on a cosmological level, much of the blame for the misfortune I now find myself in must fall upon my own shoulders. My excellence in the field led me to deeper and more dangerous dives, which usually means being led deeper into the cold and lightless parts of the ocean. Those who dive past a certain depth -- the depth at which life loses its form and changes to vague, sexless creatures like urchins or sea cucumbers, also known as the "Pillusker Attraction Depth", i.e. the depth at which 1940s diver Proust Pillusker stopped feeling horny -- are viewed with utter suspicion.

Yet I allowed myself to lured by the usual siren songs of fame, money, and recognition when I joined the team of the Deepsea Challenger 2. Although the Deepsea Challenger mission had already reached the bottom of the Mariana Trench, James wanted to do another go-around as an excuse to delay his fifth divorce. And I was to be his wingman, travelling in a second ship to look out for any art deco bullshit that may have once belonged on the Titanic. He beckoned, and I came, and we dove toward the centre of the Earth.

And so it was that, on 7:42pm on the 21st of March, 2020, my submersible's video feed showed a crack appear along the glass of James' submersible all at once, as if smited. In that moment I knew there was nothing that could be done. Not even a second later the submersible was crushed, altered to an impossible miniature form as if it were a can of tomatoes under the heel of an industrial press, a jet of James sent firing out of a breach and into the water like a silly string of vicsera.

In that moment I knew there was nothing that could be done.

By Diver Law, I was bonded to James Cameron's earthly responsibilities.

I would have to write and direct the next four Avatar sequels.

III

I should be fine with being out of my depth. Christ. And yet I find myself floundering (stop -- you don't have time to be horny), this responsibility tied to me like lead weights around my ankles. I'm not any kind of director, let alone one who should be responsible for a multi-billion-dollar franchise. The lawyers have found no way around it and no way out. There must be four Avatar sequels, the money must be spent, and I must be the one to make it happen. But I cannot possibly do the thing that is asked of me. I cannot do what I need to do.

IV

Am I not a creative being? Do I not ache and burst with the same pain and failure and urges as Melville, or Hemingway, or del Toro? I am large, I contain multitudes! Creation should not be rationed to only those qualified! Have I not something to say about this most human condition? The more I think of this burden of mine, the more it swells from itch to pleasure. I feel like my pipes will burst if I do not turn this tap, and fill to the brim these Avatars with myself!

I must do what I need to do. I will prove I am not just the man who had to make Avatar 2, 3, and 4 because I am legally bound to, and along the way if some of myself makes its way into the movies, would that be so bad? It is time for me to show the world who Phil Glanschirp really is.

V

[ao3feed-destiel-02]

Sparks Fly

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/qXeyO47 by kelsstiel Dean is a good big brother. That’s why he’s driving from Lawrence to New York City on a monthly basis. It’s not because of the dark-haired stranger he slept with on his first visit to the Big Apple. It’s definitely not because he ran into that stranger again and they decided to exchange information. Sam’s a first-year law student so he lives in a shoebox with roommates and is busy with his classes and a new girlfriend. It only makes sense for Dean to stay with Cas since he’s got more space and spends more time at home. But they aren’t in a relationship. Dean isn’t good at relationships and Cas is a Ph.D. student whose life is too up in the air with graduation on the horizon and plans to move anywhere else. Cas is the best thing to happen to him since his dad died and Dean knows it’s only a matter of time before he fucks it all up. Words: 96223, Chapters: 13/13, Language: English Fandoms: Supernatural (TV 2005) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: Dean Winchester, Castiel (Supernatural), Sam Winchester, Gabriel (Supernatural), Jessica Moore (Supernatural), Balthazar (Supernatural), Meg (Supernatural), Charlie Bradbury, Bobby Singer (Supernatural), Ellen Harvelle, Jo Harvelle, Benny Lafitte, Rowena MacLeod Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bar Owner Dean Winchester, College | University Student Castiel (Supernatural), PhD Student Castiel (Supernatural), POV Dean Winchester, From Sex to Love, One Night Stand to Friends to Estranged to Lovers, yeah i'm making that a tag, Minor Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester, One Night Stands, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Dean is emotionally constipated, Dean Winchester Needs to Use Actual Words, Light Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Inspired by Taylor Swift, Title from a Taylor Swift Song, Song: Sparks Fly (Taylor Swift), Explicit Sexual Content, Bottom Castiel/Top Dean Winchester, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Switching, Blow Jobs, Semi-Public Sex, Frottage, Self-Esteem Issues, sex as a form of self harm, (unintentionally and the chapter will be tagged in the notes!!!), Castiel and Dean Winchester Use Their Words, Dean is a touch-starved octopus read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/qXeyO47

[liam-93-productions]

Summer 2017. It will, justly, go down in musical history as the season of Cardi B’s ascendance; the career-making single “Bodak Yellow” was released in June, and, by year’s end, it had propelled the performer into the firmament of hyper-celebrity. 2017 also marked the year of “Despacito,” released in January by Luis Fonsi and Daddy Yankee (only to then be remixed in April with Justin Bieber). “Despacito” was tied as the longest-running No. 1 placeholder on the Billboard Hot 100, until Lil Nas X’s “Old Town Road” broke that record in mid-2019.

Within that same time frame, another mega-hit would emerge. It was the solo debut from Liam Payne, whose years as one-fifth (then one-fourth) of One Direction have made him a permanent global force. “Strip That Down” dropped in May, featured Migos member Quavo, and was penned by the singer-songwriter Ed Sheeran. Payne describes the track as “rap singing” with a “pop melody on top.” With a bouncing intro beat overlaid with percussive snaps (and a dusting of piano-key complements), the song was palatable from the first hook and dance-floor ready throughout. In essence: a satisfyingly uncomplicated, all-but-guaranteed banger that would go on to become a quadruple-platinum success (with over 300 million music video views on YouTube and nearly 700 million streams on Spotify, totaling north of 1 billion plays).

Before “Bodak Yellow” pulled its money moves by gaining major traction toward August and onward, “Strip That Down” was what you heard blasting when cars drove by; sun and sound and windows-down fusing together to create that fleeting, specific euphoria that helps determine the song of the summer. “Despacito” contended, no doubt, but it had been around a bit longer, and there was something extra — a listenable breeziness — about “Strip That Down” that made it linger. Payne says he couldn’t release any new material “for nine months, because they just wouldn’t take it off the radio.” According to YouTube commenters, the song has had a minor resurgence in 2019, and Payne admits he is still shocked by how it continues to stream in the millions, monthly. “I’m like, what? It’s so old now.” The song also made a major, unmissable declaration in its chorus: Payne repeatedly voices, “You know I used to be in 1D / Now I’m out, free.”

Fast-forward two years from the song’s release, and Payne is sitting in his London management office, jet-lagged but energized after a quick but busy trip to New York City to promote his newest single, “Stack It Up,”featuring the artist A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie. The song, which also credits Sheeran as a writer, marks Payne’s first major promotional push since “Strip That Down,” having released an EP in 2018 but, as of yet, no complete album. Though fans will not have to wait much longer: it was announced in mid-October that Payne’s first album, titled LP1, will arrive on December 6, 2019.

Eating a salad from Pret a Manger, he is boyishly handsome, even when battling time-zone disorientation. At 26 years old, the Wolverhampton, England-born Payne (...) and no stranger to fame. One Direction, that union of Payne, Louis Tomlinson, Niall Horan, Zayn Malik, and Harry Styles, formed in 2010 after appearing on the British version of the singing competition show The X Factor. “1D” would earn millions of fans worldwide and hundreds of millions of dollars; the band went on indefinite hiatus in 2016. “I’ve been doing this for 10 years,” Payne says with a smile, when everyone in the room admits to feeling the grind of an exhausting schedule.

“We’ve gone full circle,” Payne says, relaxing into his chair. “‘Stack It Up’ is the same team that made ‘Strip That Down,’ which is why it sounds like the song’s little brother.” The track is similarly playful but is more about cash-lust than anything physical. It’s also slightly less shimmery, with an attenuated keyboard pulse and a semi-scratchiness to Payne’s vocal work. “One of the main problems I had with the song, actually, is that it’s very money-oriented, and I didn’t know if that was the message I wanted to convey,” Payne continues. “I’ve been really lucky to have great success, but there have been times in my life when I am sitting there, looking out at the most beautiful view, and all of these amazing things are happening around me, but there’s no one there and you’ve got no one to share it with. You sort of think, ‘Well, that didn’t fix anything, did it?’ You feel just as low as if you had none of it.” This is the first bite of Payne’s ice-clear transparency. He is think-aloud and cut-to-the-chase candid, which, it could be argued, is a rare trait for the very famous.

“So, with that in mind, we kind of switched up the lyrics so that you have dreams for you and someone else, and sending this message of working hard for what you want to gain,” Payne says. “I was a kid from humble beginnings. My parents didn’t have a lot. They gave us what they could. The reason I love this song is that, if you’re on your way to work and you’re listening, I like to think that it gives you the urge to go above and beyond for your shit.”

Love — sometimes messy, sometimes fanatical, sometimes deeply personal — is part of Payne’s narrative. (...) Likewise, his friendships (both then and now) with the other members of One Direction. Regarding modern love — and the trials and tribulations he’s gone through to understand it, and to achieve self-love, at this point — Payne has much to say. The path to 26 has not been easy: The singer has been open about facing mental health, relationship, and self-esteem issues. There is fact and fan fiction when it comes to One Direction’s split, but Payne himself has said there was strife. He even has a tattoo that reads, “We are the quiet ones,” as he felt he was never allowed to speak up on account of the group’s squeaky clean public-facing image.

“I think everyone has a love-hate thing with what they each individually do. It’s not always nice,” he’ll say of his career. “You get a bit of that feeling of turning against your profession.” Has he ever fallen out of love with music? “It can get tedious, and there is a lot of pressure a lot of the time, which is difficult. Your urge sometimes will not be enough. I’ve found that having people around you that give you unwavering support is, more than anything, what keeps me going. (...) Whereas in the past, there have been times when I didn’t know if I wanted to make any more music. You need those people around you to make sure that you carry on.”

(...)

Payne also admits to mentally working through the backlash and the hysteria that can follow his every move. From the One Direction days, his fandom can tread into extreme territories. “Some people can be really nasty for no reason,” he says. “And also, when you’re worried about going to a restaurant or the park and being overprotective, that actually causes more problems. Because then the paparazzi and the press get more on your shit when you’re hiding away, and then when you do finally show yourself or reveal something, it’s a fucking frenzy. (...)”

Payne would not count himself as one of those people. He has been affected by acute anxiety, agoraphobia, and insecurity. He has canceled shows and, at one point, found himself drinking too heavily as a coping mechanism. “We all have an ideal in our heads of what we want to be,” Payne says of self-love. “From the moment you step in and say, ‘I am who I think I am,’ then nothing can touch you. For a long time, I was playing this character, and in reality, I was a million miles away from it, and everyone could fucking see that shit. You get a different level of confidence once you are, like, ‘I’m good.’ Self-assuredness is a powerful thing.” Payne says committing to a fitness regimen and routine has helped, too. “You become happier and more confident, more quickly.”

(...)

Payne concludes by saying he has only “very recently” felt truly comfortable in his own skin. “I’ve just had a long conversation with a friend about this,” he says. “Don’t let your past define you. It’s not all about what you did or didn’t do. I’m on the map of where I am supposed to be, and knowing that is the key.” Liam Payne, consciously stripped down and continuing to stack it up, takes the last bite of his Pret salad.

[amoebo-id]

a o t d !!!

no more than 1 release per artist to keep it interesting. selection and ranking is arbitrary and would prob be wildly different if i did this tomorrow. also i only went down to #42 cause everything after that didn’t feel like real aotd status - at least as far as the specific relationships i built over the past 10 yrs with the music i was listening to

#1 laurel halo quarantine

nobody did machine-body dialectic like laurel halo in 2012. i loved everything else from her this decade too but every time i listened to Carcass it made me leave my body physically. absolutely unreal album art too

https://laurelhalo.bandcamp.com/track/carcass-2

#2 e+e the light that you gave me to see you

2012 was a good year. pop/ambient/noise/radio-dj-tag sound collage ascended to spiritual intensity. makes you feel like a child experiencing awe. also fire-gut used to have probably my favorite music video ever but i think it’s gone now

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-p-SSuwW9cw

#3 ilovemakonnen 5

not to be confused with Drink More Water 5, this one’s from 2010 during his mostly-forgotten diy outsider-pop phase. off-key singing and amateur beats and the sheer absolute joy of making cool songs. all 5 are perfect

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ORKpg_-z0Mk

#4 macintosh plus floral shoppe

would’ve made top 10 on album art alone. music, aesthetics, and cultural impact are inseparable here but going back to the album reminded me just how engaging its 2010s-updated chopped-and-screwed sound is, musically not just conceptually

https://vektroid.bandcamp.com/track/420

#5 jason lescalleet this is what i do 17

hard to pick a favorite from jason lescalleet’s semi-monthly document of his electroacoustic / field recording / tape loop practice but i’ve cried to multiple tracks on tiwid 17 so it gets the nod. couldn’t find any of them online so here’s something else of his

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t33x8OOm68E

#6 barrio sur बड़ा शोक (heart break)

dedekind cut guy’s weird one-off side project ended up being my favorite thing to come out of the last few years’ obsession w cowboy/western/country music/aesthetics. pure mystery

https://soundcloud.com/user-366783613/redemption-7inch

#7 cities aviv come to life

i think maybe people thought cities aviv was just another no-flow pseudo-”conscious rap” type rapper in 2014 but actually this album is nuts. hyper-energetic vaporwave rap? what if death grips were happy? idk

https://citiesaviv.bandcamp.com/track/url-irl-2

#8 beach boys the smile sessions

this cool fresh 1960s rock myth arrived fully formed and way more fun than the other ones. brian wilson’s concepts and songwriting got so unwieldy we had to wait 50 years to hear the sessions. i don’t care about conversations about his genius or whatever these songs kick ass

https://oldmasterpainter.bandcamp.com/track/surfs-up

#9 mindspring memories & intl. debris international memories

did this really only come out in 2017? i feel like i’ve been listening to it since i was born. tangential lateral kind of wormhole out of vaporwave into two meditative spiritual infinite-feeling loops that perfectly complement each other

https://noproblematapes.bandcamp.com/track/sad-horizons

#10 nyege nyege tapes sounds of sisso

absolutely obnoxiously insanely high energy high pitch high bpm dance music. i can’t believe this isn’t what people mean when they say future bass. set me down the path of historical and contemporary non-”global north” ideas about dance/rhythm/bass which i’m still on

https://nyegenyegetapes.bandcamp.com/track/mshamba-video-mster

#11 blithe field face always toward the sun

the most gorgeous implementation of the sorta-ambient guitar-looping vignette aesthetic. is this a real trope or did i listen to this album so much i convinced myself it was a thing? for me this is the sound of what its like to feel completely content with life and at ease in the moment

https://blithefield.bandcamp.com/track/zen-den

#12 anohni hopelessness

listening to this album and singing along while driving my car made me feel absolutely disgusting. unbelievable hooks, grossly hi fi sound design, and overblown drama add up to imo a scary effective type of explicitly political or ‘protest’ music

https://anohni.bandcamp.com/track/drone-bomb-me

#13 21 savage, offset, & metro boomin without warning

why is these 3 pop stars’ vaguely halloween-themed one-off collab my favorite trap album? 21 savage, offset, and metro boomin were all wildly corny in different ways but everything was perfectly balanced. i hope metro boomin makes like one seriously ambient album next decade

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWv-bR_X-VM&list=PLC1uUM4twa8i6zsD_Sn1LRUq4vhl_PLCx&index=11&t=0s

#14 laura les big summer jams 2018

‘crying in the club’ type bangers with no fear of ugliness and no fear of beauty and no fear of wildly unfashionable tropes like skrillex-y dubstep and guitar solos. so much input from other trans/queer artists it felt like a big t4t party

https://osno1.bandcamp.com/track/the-river-feat-scum-yung-skrrt-and-99jakes

#15 triad god nxb

the other triad god tape from 7 years later is just as good. what was this man doing in the intervening time? i just imagine him riding london public transit while it rains or something. i love knowing that most of his cantonese spoken-word/rap parts are insults and jokes rather than like, melancholy observations

https://soundcloud.com/hipposintanks/triad-god-remand

#16 dj koze knock knock

what if pop music sounded like this? somehow every song on here is wildly danceable, wildly sing-alongable, and also wildly detail-oriented. feels like a transmission from an alternate present where things are okay

https://djkoze.bandcamp.com/track/club-der-ewigkeiten

#17  ocora world of traditional music

box set of “world music” recordings from the label that french electronic composer pierre schaeffer started in the 1950s as a project to teach people in rural west africa how to dj. ethnography can be a fucked up idea but afaik ocora is one of the good ones and if you can sorta try to disengage from the tropes/cliches that get imposed on it, the music is phenomenal. hard to find a track specific to this box set but here’s another from the label

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XJm8rn6gW5I

#18 oneohtrix point never replica

opn feels like an artist i’ve ‘grown out of’ i guess but samples never felt more alive or more dead than they did on replica. set a template for the kind of melancholy ‘soundscape’-y vibe that i spent years trying to find more of after

https://oneohtrixpointnever1.bandcamp.com/track/power-of-persuasion

#19 rihanna anti

the most perfect imaginable pop album. i keep trying to move it higher up. i almost put club chai vol 1 on this list purely cause of the Woo remix but then i remembered the original is better

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_dDCUKElEwk

#20 colleen a flame my love a frequency

colleen’s ultra deadpan singing and wriggly rhythmic synth put me in a trance. everything sounded dry as hell even though it was covered in reverb. i think maybe some people were put off by the corny song names and lyrics

https://colleencolleen.bandcamp.com/track/separating

#21 dj paypal drake edits

back when drake seemed like a sorta-shitty dude rather than seriously creepy, dj paypal used the power of footwork to expose both the melancholy-ambient modality and the serious-bass-music modality latent in his voice and beats

https://mallmusicinc.com/track/brand-new

#22 huerco s. for those of you who have never (and also those who have)

not really as ambient as it first seems imo, but rather like a really intense focus on what we mean when we describe things as ‘static’ or ‘dynamic’. i know it’s corny but i wanna say these tracks are fully both and fully neither

https://brianleeds.bandcamp.com/track/promises-of-fertility

#23 girls rituals reddishness

for a track so deliberately shitty-sounding I Know had no right to be so fucking danceable. persona and production synthesized into the only ‘singer-songwriter’ music i could really get into

https://temporaryenjoyment.bandcamp.com/track/i-know

#24 chromatics kill for love

fakeass 80s retro melancholia digitized and pushed so far past pastiche it turned into pure slime. the phone call in There’s A Light Out On The Horizon came straight from the void

https://soundcloud.com/johnnyjewel/chromatics-kill-for-love-album

#25 actress ghettoville

the only genuinely post-apocalyptic music. specifically the postapocalypse in wall-e but if there was no wall-e to clean it up

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QcCPdfUFq6k

#26 playboi carti die lit

every beat on this album was reducible to a 4-second loop that perpetually demanded its own repetition and playboi carti somehow knew exactly what to do with them

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2pjiKmhlAI

#27 charli xcx vroom vroom

the charli xcx that came after this was fun, but there was black hole levels of power compacted into when she said vroom vroom on Vroom Vroom

https://soundcloud.com/vroomvroomrecordings/charli-xcx-vroom-vroom

#28 pacific breeze: japanese city pop, aor & boogie 1976-1986

it’s kind of amazing to think that this compilation only exists because vaporwave aesthetics made ‘japanese grocery-store kitsch from the 80s’ a marketable thing in the us. anyway every single one of these is an absolute bop

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jl91bvEKj20

#29 young thug barter 6

i can’t get enough of listening to young thug’s voice. i’ve seen his rhythmic-melodic-textural sensibility described as virtuosic and i don’t know really if that term means anything but it feels right to me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qg9ZxQKSDuw

#30 magic eye babylon

smeared dreamy lo-fi guitar music w wistful buried melodies pushed to an extreme. every song sounded the same and i wish there was more than the one cassette

https://magiceye.bandcamp.com/track/flame

#31 tirzah devotion

you could say this was ‘stripped down’ r&b but i think more accurately what separated it was that every sound stood exactly and only for itself

https://tirzah.bandcamp.com/track/basic-need

#32 mount eerie clear moon

it’s amazing how well mount eerie navigated the move from a lo-fi sound/mode/affect to a hi-fi sound/mode/affect. clear moon wasn’t his first attempt but it was the one that most embodied the feeling of the new possilibities that had been opened up

https://pwelverumandsun.bandcamp.com/track/through-the-trees-pt-2

#33 kelela aquaphoria

this mix was such a good idea it immediately seemed shocking nobody else had tried afaik. and kelela executed it so well you forgot the tracks already existed in other contexts

https://soundcloud.com/kelelam/aquaphoria

#34 james ferraro skid row

not sure what it means that the only james ferraro i really love is also the one i think of as the least abstract/conceptual. his recited lyrics had a rare spoken-word-poetic power

https://breakworldrecords.bandcamp.com/track/to-live-and-die-in-la

#35 salyu x salyu s(o)un(d)beams

absolutely unbounded sense of joy and creativity and possibility hovering between bangers-lite and ‘soundscape’-y electronic manipulation

https://soundcloud.com/snouu/salyu-x-salyu-s-o-un-d-beams

#36 dj rashad just a taste vol 1

double cup got all the press but it was so smoothed-over it could never have done something as absurdly beautiful as Ghost or even Go Crazy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OZuHPAbte9U

#37 yves tumor serpent music

i’m sorta put off by the high-gloss sheen of music like this but serpent music somehow had the right combination of total cohesion and a ridiculous density of impactful moments

https://soundcloud.com/pan_hq/yves-tumor-the-feeling-when-you-walk-away-pan-73?in=pan_hq/sets/yves-tumor-serpent-music-pan

#38 maral mahur club

lo-fi beat collage elevated to something that could actually genuinely be called world music

https://astralplanerecordings.bandcamp.com/track/avesta-khani-reggaeton

#39 lucki ecks watch my back

did not expect this super low-stakes sadboy trap to end up on this list but i love his min-effort flow and somehow every beat is exactly the vibe even when the tracks aren’t volume balanced

https://soundcloud.com/boob7/leave-wit-you-prod-plu2o-nash-clams-casino?in=boob7/sets/watch-my-back

#40 arca stretch 2

not sure why i get more out of arca’s nonsense broken-beat non-rap than any of her later projects

https://unonyc.bandcamp.com/track/tapped-in

#41 klein only

a new way to do fucked up noise w pop leanings. ‘audacitycore’

https://klein1997.bandcamp.com/track/pretty-black-2

#42 city arcadia

another mysterious transmission, this time w lots of harp

https://soundcloud.com/halcyon-veil/city-arcadia

[thefugitive1993]

some bruce springsteen posting hours for the true masonheads who are interested after the cut off

seeing blinded by the light last month really restarted, and reinvigorated, my love for Bruce Springsteen. In my younger days (and i’m still really young) i was more of a cultural and music carnivore, just taking in anything that’d satisfy my appetite, and not really getting deep into favs that were instrumental in forming my palette.

But seeing that movie and being reminded about how much the Boss’ music shaped my worldview, and how important he was to me in late high school, facilitated a desire to go back into his discography and really dive into works I had brushed off or just flat out ignored. Fell hard for Tunnel of Love and tracks from Darkness on the Edge of Town that wasn’t “The Promised Land”. 

But then I remembered Sharon Van Etten’s AV Undercover version of “Drive By Night” and gave that one a listen. Years ago when I came to that song, it’s 8 minute run time put me off because I felt like I didn’t have time for it even though when you’re 21-22 all you have is time. Coming to it 3 or 4 years later, having shed my skin and grown god only knows how many times, that song - excuse the pun - drove straight into my heart and screamed into my soul.

Since November 2015 I’ve been curating monthly playlists on Spotify mostly of new things I find from contemporary artists, or classics, or really just any song that gets me through the month. I try to do around 20-25 newish to me songs a cycle though I throw in some certified classics in there as well. And every month there’s one song or two on there that I initially discard but then I listen to until it merges with my soul and I wear the sounds like a new favorite t-shirt.  Last month it was “You Get What You Give” by New Radicals, the month before it was “Desire” by Ought. This month it’s “Drive All Night”. 

I got mugged at the end of August. It was a weird, confusing experience. Not particularly terrifying like one would imagine, but it made me feel extremely vulnerable and exposed. I didn’t fear that the guy would come to get me, and I’ve been able to go past the street where it happened with a little hesitation and anxiety. The worst part by far was dealing with it alone in LA. My parents were as helpful as they could be while there was half a country between us. “Drive All Night” came back around in my life maybe a week or so after I had gone through the heaviest emotional burden, but before I had started talking about the event with anybody besides my folks and my cousin/roommate.

The unique power of “Drive All Night” and Bruce Springsteen’s music is the feeling of solace, connection, empathy, and deep spiritual capital L Love you get from his music. There’s a sublime power to hearing the Boss strain his voice to get all the way the fuck up there and tell his sweetheart that he’d “drive all night again/just to buy [them] some shoes/and to taste [their] tender charms”. Some people might hear themselves as the object of Bruce’s affection, a valid response. I spend a lot of time in those days after the mugging driving through the dark streets of LA just to get out of the house and clear my head. No direction, just turning the wheel and operating on some semi-conscious level of where to go. I’d drive up to Mulholland on the hills and look out over the lights of the valley. Each one representing a place I could conceivably run to for safety and security, if I weren’t trying to run away from my bad feelings back in LA proper. I felt a supreme personal connection to Bruce’s desire to return to someplace safe, to be with someone who makes the “machines and fire on the edge of town” feel so far away. And then to feel so loved, secure, safe, and protected that all you can do is wail “you’ve got my love, heart, and soul”. I wanted to turn the vulnerability away from feeling embarrassed and exposed into a shield or a suit of armor. Something that’d protect me rather than harm me. And the more I listened to that song, especially after I returned to Chicago and the suburbs to take a break from the bullshit of Los Angeles, the stronger I started to feel. The more I started to feel like Bruce. The stronger and more confident I became. 

Los Angeles is still a tough town. It’s still going to wipe out my savings so I can afford rent this month. I’m working on looking for a temp gig of some kind, or some other kind of work to just get me through each month. Who knows if I’ll continue to listen to Bruce going into October, and who knows what the next song I’ll wear as a suit of armor will be. But I know that right now “Drive All Night” and the music of Bruce Springsteen got me through an incredibly emotionally taxing part of my life, but also one of the most spiritually affirming. I don’t know if I can thank him enough for that if I ever met him in person, and god knows I’m not the first person who had this kind of connection to his music.

So on the occasion of his 70th birthday i’d just like to say thanks bruce. You’re the only Boss I listen to.