#selfess love

[prattham2311]

fly my heart for sky is your limit, let it thunder let it snow, stop for none, be selfish for yourself once for you have loved selflessly others

-the_pain

[bellamyblake]

Bellamy Blake appreciation week

Day 5: Favorite Rebel!Bellamy moment-Bellamy refusing to let Clarke go in 3x02 and almost getting himself killed because of it

[lesbianhotch]

insane how last of us was two nights ago and im still just. joel miller <333

[hastyprovocateur]

Mizu's a good person which is why she believes she's an onryo. There's things she's done already done that she finds reprehensible without considering that it's a consequence of being in a patriarchal, autocratic, immoral, masochistic social system where the weak are singled out and eaten alive. For eg, killing Kinuyo became a core memory for Mizu, something she finds shame in having done. She understands that Kinuyo was wronged fundamentally by her own father and Hamata but is unable to use the same to relieve herself of the guilt. She is nowhere close to the evil that actual men in the time period were (and are) and she knows this but somewhere deep down, finds it much easier to just... take the blame. Be the bad guy. Be the one at fault. Because that's all she's done her whole life. Consider that someone who has been systemically taught to always take the blame (In Mizu's case, by her mom, social prejudice, childhood bullies, her own husband) will become obsessed by their faults to the point that they can't physically operate outside those very faults. Mizu operates on this crux of her internal struggle. The needless violence she has willingly embarked on eats her inside but if she stops, all the innocent people whom she sacrificed in the process would have died for nothing which is why she persists. She's unlike Fowler who doesn't base his peace on all his children he's killed. As a man, he believes he's entitled to kill to survive. He takes pleasure is killing. Mizu doesn't. Each fights hollows her more and pushes her towards becoming an onryo. Self sabotage. It's easier for her to think she has nothing else to live for because choosing love would be so overwhelming. Being despicable is easier. Easier to kill and carry the guilt. Because if she dares to reach for love again... instead of the sword, it'll cut her deeper than any masterfully rendered blade. And if she lets go of the fight, she will have to accept that the part of her that was wronged doesn't exist anymore. Which isn't true. She still carries that pain. And nothing but her own acceptance will ease that pain. Ringo, Taigen and Akemi are seeing Mizu for the person she is now and none of them, I attest as per the writing, considered her to be an onryo until Mizu herself reinforced that. She craves their love, companionship and vulnerability but she is the only one who needs to see herself as worthy of it. Worthy of being more than just a sword. She needs to see that she is indeed a good master to Ringo, that she is a skillful, selfess comrade to Taigen and to Akemi... she can be a better man than any.

[leviismybby]

You ever think Levi would ever try to run away with/for the person he loved? Whether he was backed into a corner with that decision to make or his lover forced that choice on him, would he ever just run somewhere far away, safe with his lover?

Hi there!

Hmm, I don't think so because Levi is a selfess person and I don't think he would leave the scouts hanging either, he is aware of his importance. I do think that he would try as much as he can to keep you away from it all, he would put you first but he wouldn't run. I always think that Levi wouldn't date someone in the survey corps, if he did, he would convince you to quit for his sake as well as your own. But I don't think that Levi would abonden humanity. With that being said, if it gets too much he would take a week or so off just to get away with you but permanently? No.

[mocatii]

I've been sobbing over Laika for like 2 days now because she represents so much to me. She represents the animals we sent to space to die. The animals we love. The animals we treat horribly for our own gain. Félicette. Miss Baker. Belka and Strelka. She represents the love humans can have for something. The determination we have. How cruel we can be. How selfish we are. How selfess we are to craft poems and art and statues for a dog we'll never meet.

She's our paitron saint of one-way trips, and the mother of our stars.

[dreamiifuyu]

i just have to take a moment to talk about this man..

when i think of chifuyu, there is so many things that cross my mind, but the one thing that i think about a lot is how he shares his food with those he cares about. and it's not just a one off in the manga, he does this on a few occasions. for me, i think that sharing your food with someone is one of the sincerest gestures you could make. imo it just screams "if i eat, you eat" and that is something i do actually live by..

i would save the best piece or bite of something for last, and i would willingly give that to chifuyu. i would split half my meal with him if he didn't get something for himself but bought me whatever it was i wanted..

i wonder if his mom would tell him stories about his dad and if he did something similar with her and that it was instilled in his brain that you share these things with people you genuinely care about. i want to imagine his reaction to seeing his mom reminisce and sigh when she thinks about all the meals and memories she shared with his dad, i want to imagine that this is how he views true love- random, selfess acts

someone out there tell me you understand, or am i alone in this ;-; i feel like i just rambled for 10 minutes, but that's how my brain works when i think of him

[kozachenko]

One very last thing: I definitely feel part of the moral greyness of this series is ZUN's writing style. On the one hand, he believes that it's easier to write selfish jerks than selfess people, because they don't need a reason to fight each other, and need to have a particular reason to help others. Yet, I also get the impression from all his comments that he admires all his creations in some way. He's never really "insulted" them in any way in the interviews I've seen. He's never stated that the world of Touhou would be better if a character was dead or didn't exist.

Honestly, that's something I really love about the series and it's writing. It's very rare to find someone who is 100% selfless in real life, and while yes fiction is fiction and shouldn't be tied to reality, I do think it's nice seeing some characters who are just unapologetic selfish assholes, because what's more fun? A nice goody two-shoes who's perfect in every single way and doesn't have a selfish bone in their body? Or an asshole who's selfish and highly flawed, but they are so unapologetically themself that it just loops back around to them being fun? It's something that really differentiates Touhou from most media where the series is willing to take risks with a character's personality even if they may come off as incredibly unlikeable. In Touhou, the likeablity of a character is second, and establishing who they are as a person takes precedent. The characters aren't made to please you, they're there for themselves and themselves alone, and there's something really fun about that (at least that's how I interpret a lot of the characters in this series).

With the second thing you brought up about how ZUN sees his characters, I appreciate how even though many Touhou characters aren't morally perfect, they aren't demeaned or seen as lesser than in the eyes of the narrative. Sure other characters may not like them at all, but the narrative itself isn't going to eternally punish them for just existing. Now that I think about it, there's never really been an interaction in Touhou where a character will outright bully and put down another one. Sure we've seen the characters harshly criticize each other, but they still don't really feel like bullying and the narrative doesn't make it a big deal. Most of the time it isn't even one sided and both parties have something snarky to say about the other one. The only character who ever really got close to bullying was Keiki oddly enough, that being her roasting the animal spirits in her pre-fight dialogue (still love that part by the way, it just gives her so much personality and I think that's one of the reasons that she stuck out to me in the first place). I definitely think that ZUN's level of respect for all of his characters comes through in the writing via the character interactions and relationships.

[plslovemeforeverandever]

Dude you have no idea how thrilled I am to find another blog that appreciates the concept of a yandere solid snake as much as I do. Oh my God just imagine him and Liquid in a yandere rivalry over the same person-

Welcome to the tiny circle of hell @bweoo and i populate :3 (they made my pfp i love it soooo much mwah)

Not sure what took you to my blog since I'm a literal nobody, but thank you for asking! That Good Yandere Mg s content is in tragically short supply both here and on ao3, though what exists is pretty good.

(You can take my thoughts with a grain of salt since i haven't finished twin snakes yet hehe. Bweoo gave me that sweet infodump)

For Liquid and Solid, their issues comes from a conflict of perspective

As we've semi-established, Solid is an overprotective type yandere. The kind of man to lend a hand unprompted when needed- whether it be a ride home, a steady hand or a warm word.

(The kind of man who lights his cigarette under a streetlamp across the street from your appartment. Keeping an eye peeled. Just in case)

Overbearing, watchful, observant, in a way the average person could never comprehend. He's lucid enough to know his actions are strange - swiping clothes from your beloved's laundry bin is hardly normal- but he cannot for the life of him pull away, helpless to escape their orbit.

Despite these acts, Snake's desperate to preserve a sense of normalcy.

His end goal is ensuring his beloved's happiness + wellbeing no matter the cost to his mind, body, and sanity. And if those costs are paid by other people uninvolved in his balancing act...no one (especially not you) needs to know

At the end of another mission, tossing and turning alone in his quarters, Solid yearns for your warm warm hands.

Liquid however, is a whole other can of crazy. A churning sea riddled with insecurity, daddy issues, and zero impulse control wrapped up in a set of chiseled abs

Where Solid is "selfess," Liquid is greedy. Where Solid is stable, Liquid is erratic. He demands every iota of your attention while denying he wants it.

Don't be fooled by his british rage, Liquid craves validation like a flame craves oxygen. He needs the addictive high of your eyes on him. Only him.

He's your world entire, after all (as you are his).

Why would your pretty little head think it needed anyone else?

Unfortunately, Liquid does not take to anyone breaking this illusion. As shown by canon, he deems violence an appropriate problem solving skill. Just last week he jammed his thumb in agent's eye socket for "flirting" (read: asking your name)n. After that, no one breathed a word in your direction.

While he's never turned that blazing heat of hatred on you, it's only a matter of time. A stray glance here or a head tilt there and his beloved might find themselves in hot water with their big bad terrorist 'lover.'

(He's not all bad, not all the time. Not in the dead of night, his arms wrapped around your smaller frame so tight you feared fusing into a single being.)

Ok I went off too long . Anyway...

Solid and Liquid's rivalry/relationship is already tumultuous, but add a common obsession to the mix and their fight would reach a fever pitch.

Solid's careful meticulous planning all goes out the window when Liquid snatches you from the compound. He sees no problem in taking - id might as well be his middle name- and claiming the ultimate prize.

Solid panics -> rushes off to save them -> spirits them from Liquid's maniacally laughing arms -> Liquid devises a way to strike back in rage -> and so on and so forth until one of them explodes.

Not to mention a good chunk of Liquid's insecurity stems from being the "inferior" twin. Losing his partner to Solid is too crushing a blow, so he fights tooth and nail to bring s/o back. Even if he has to drag you kicking and screaming all the way to his base.

Snake wants a peaceful Alaskan retirement, while Liquid wants to set the world ablaze with his beloved by his side. Obviously these futures are not compatible.

Both have a vested interest in securing s/o to "protect" them from their twin. Both see themselves as s/o's ideal lover

As for who would win? While Liquid has boundless passion, Solid and his more lax demeanour might win s/o over.

It's up to you viewers! Stay tuned maybe for other things if you want.

I'm running out of steam

(Big boss is a whole other can of worms. To me. He is a fusion of both solid and liquids best/worst traits. The snake yandere gene is real)

Hope this helped (?) Somehow. Have a good day !!!

[mhaynoot]

yjh and his 0th run where everything is perfect and he is happy and he is married to a woman he loves and all his companions are alive and he is ending a joyful life after the scenarios together with everyone.

he can die old and happy and there is a singular god in the stars who will witness his end.

yjh is happy.

and he still has so many questions.

so he forces the god to whisper secrets and truths his ears. and he does. always so indulgent. such a curious constellation is he. demon king of salvation. a presence that had shaken the world for him, laid it down like a fairy tale.

[1 8 6 4] the being from beyond the wall chokes out like whispered tears and yjh accepts it easily.

[dumb bastard] his god says.

perhaps yjh is one but even still what a kind, lonely voice.

he smile and closes his eyes. i will find my answers beyond the [wall].

yjh and 1865th turn later and yjh is not the 0th turn like how he is not the 3rd turn or the 1863rd or the Secretive Plotter either.

yjh is disgraced by an emptiness in life after the scenarios. this world that moves forward like the ticking hands of a pocket watch. this is a world saved. companions he had known for lifetimes and companions he only knew for this lifetime accompany him now into the setting sun of a story without a reader.

he wonders, viciously, how kdj could ever think it would be right to live in a world built by his loneliness.

ah but he already knew this answer, didn't he?

[constellation, 'demon king of salvation', replies that this is the story he wanted to see in the first place.]

years go by and he tries to settle into the world but it chafes like soaked bandages. the days pass then months then years like words unwritten like a story not even worth novelisation. one day, he cuts off the bandages and breaks his sister's heart.

kdj wanted his happinesss more than anything, wanted a future where yjh and their companions can live together and grow old together. always so selfish and selfess. his salvation.

so, yjh breaks his heart. some days he spends it with vicious strikes and reclusive anger and all the lifetimes of hatred kdj had feared from him. other days, he can't bring himself to do more than open his eyes. and some days, he simply wonders the world and stares at it.

do i always have to give you up?

to let him complete a story where his happiness was unwritten.

yjh refuses.

he is not the 0th turn like how he is not 41st turn and biyoo is not shin yoosung. he had fulfilled all the 0th wants and found all the answers but still he is not fulfilled. he stares into the vast expanse of a starless night.

what am i without the scenarios?

he reads each chapter hsy writes over and over again. he rewrites them. he writes his own chapters. he scatters the stories to all these worldlines kdj's stardust have reincarnated into. he smacks around authors and looks around at the world.

how do you save someone who doesn't want to he saved and what does it mean for a story to save someone?

yjh didn't know for sure but he knew has been saved by hsy's story of kdj much like kdj had been saved by her story of his. and kdj had saved them both. writer, reader, protagonist. the lines between them have never been so clear cut yet have long since been blurred.

the questions and answers he has been looking for since the 0th turn until now in the 1864th turn as an ex-regressor. it is one and the same. it will always be the same. he will always search for it in the turn of kim dokja's name if it meant kim dokja could be his forever.

... it wouldn't be a bad thing if the journey continued a little longer.

he is not the 0th turn like how he isn't 41st or the 1863rd or the Secretive Plottor. he is yjh and he is all of them and he is the one kdj knows.

when the power of stories finally finish, he returns home. a saved world. his companions. his sister.

kdj doesn't wish for his happiness. yjh still does not know for sure what his ■■ is and he is still not fully content.

it's alright though.

because the story around them is pushing them onwards into an ending only a reader can imagine and the hospital doors will always open to that, brimming to an unwritten ending.

[cj-etc]

I saw you do negative traits can I get a positive version please if that's not to much if not that's totally okay 😊

Sure!! I was planning on making a post like this anyway!

Positive Traits for Your Characters

Always willing to help others

Frequent complimenter

Supports others during hard times

Selfess (to a certain point)

Enthusiastic

Patient

Friendly & easygoing

Hopeful

Loving towards themself and others

Cautious (especially if their friends/family aren't)

Hardworking

Adaptable/Flexible

Calm & collected under stress

Comforting

Focused

Honest

Fair

Passionate about their/others' interests

Respectful

Willing to learn/experience new things

Charismatic

Independent (again, to a point)

Willing to accept help

Trusting

Ambitious (in the right ways)

Generous

Observant

Polite

Reliable

Resourceful

Brave (can be interpreted in many ways!)

Accepting of others and their differences

Creative/Out-of-the-box thinker

Funny/amusing

+ so many more!! Feel free to add more :)

[ben-butt]

I just had a thought: maybe Aziraphale said "I forgive you" in an angry tone because he's forgiving Crowley for making him understand that he loves him now, when he cannot turn his back on humanity because it's in danger again, and not because of the kiss itself.

Think about it. Aziraphale isn't selfish, he lives by his morals and what he believes is good. He's pretty much selfess when there are humans involved. He tends to like things a certain way but only when it's about him or Crowley. He never truly cares about himself and the repercussions of his actions until after the fact. He does what he believes is best, and then try to protect himself.

He also loves Crowley, and has a deep affection for him. He doesn't always agree with him but he never looked down on him. He's been scared of him and what his reltionship with him could mean to his angelic status but he quickly stopped worrying about that, mentionning they shouldn't mingle for his consciousness more than because it's what he believes.

It never really made sense to me that Aziraphale would be angry and forgive Crowley for showing love, he also isn't as selfish as some people make him out to be. He loves humanity more than himself, and I am sure he believes he would be able to protect it from Heaven if he was in charge. He doesn't even like or trust the Archangels and the Metatron.

Anyways, I think Aziraphale was mad and forgave Crowley for confessing now and not before, when he still had a choice.

[jeskler]

Sonic Headcanon

To state clearly, this is based on nothing but my own personal headcanon. While I may take from established games or comic issues, this is largely just me spitballing out into the wild, so take any possible discrepancies with a grain of salt.

================================================

Sonic is a hero, obviously. If there's any fact anyone knows about the blue hedgehog is that he loves to beat the bad guy, save the day, and get showered in glory for it. It's been that way ever since he started saving the day from a young age, something he's always enjoyed doing as much as any other hobby.

And for a long time, it stayed that way, being a hero wasn't just a job to Sonic, it was something he loved to do. And the fastest thing alive can't remember for his own life when that started to change.

It was small at first, brief frustrations with civilians and friends over inconveniences, his joy when hearing about some more badniks to fight replaced with moments of disdain at the alert of a new eggman attack at poor times, and taking a bit longer to get out of bed in the morning, being occasionally annoyed at being stopped by a fan in the street for an autograph when he was in a particulary sour mood at that time. But it was never stuff that lasted for more than a brief moment, a second or two, and it always gave to his usual carefree optimism and snarky attitude, things he simply dismissed as just natural changes as people got older.

But it didn't stop there, as he got older he began to noticed just how tired he was especially as his popularity grew and he went from a local small time hero just doing the right thing to a world wide celebrity hailed for saving the world numerous times, more a symbol than a person.

He began to notice just how many people looked up to him, how many people saw him as this larger than life figure, as someone to take after, as someone to inspire to be. While he began to feel tired he shrugged it off, nothing more than growing pains he thought, every new celebrity has to feel that way, right? So he took up the role, he maintained the new image everyone had of him as the fearless hero with an attitude.

And from there it only got worse, every day that passed he felt just a little bit more tired, a little bit less energetic, a little bit less happy, a little bit less himself. The fame he once dreamed of as a child soon became something he began to grow wary of and it wasn't the fans, it wasn't the interviews, it wasn't seeing his face everywhere at all times, those were all things he could handle, no, it was the fact he couldn't be himself.

He couldn't be Sonic the person, the energetic daredevil from Christmas Island who just did the right things cause it was the right thing to do known for going fast and being cool. No, he had to be Sonic the hero, who always saved the day no matter what, who was always selfess and always gave his 110%, who was always strong, and never showed a shred of weakness all day, every day, every night, every hour, every minute, every second.

He can't blame people for looking at him like that, after all he did help cultivate the image by playing the part to the rest of the world, and maybe that could've been at least somewhat bearable had his friends also not started to look up to that version aswell. While obviously they didn't believe the public image whole hog, they believed in it enough, they always assumed he'd be there, they'd always call on them no matter what, and he'd always answer, he'd always have their back, asking for nothing in return and leaving them with a snarky reply, the word "no" almost became a foreign one to him.

He was trapped into an show, an actor who couldn't drop his act, forced to wear a mask that represented a charicature, a character and not a person. And for a while he managed to keep the wall behind Sonic the person and Sonic the character but soon enough enough that wall began to crumble and the lines between the character and the man became a blur to him, things he once thought as being so critical to himself being left behind and forgotten as he feels every inch of the true distance between him, the real him, and his friends.

But while his mask mends with his flesh and bones, the exhaust never leaves, it only gets worse. Where once he was excited to get a call to action, now it only filled him dread. Where once he'd get to where he needed as fast as he possibly could, now he begins to drag his feet (though still arriving multiple times faster than needed). Where he used to keep a bright smile at all times even when alone, now even bringing up a fake one to keep up the act feels like an increasingly impossible task. Where once he would openly voice his disdain for any prolonged period of rest, now he welcomes it with open arms and grows irritated anytime someone has to break him from it. Where once when he saw a city under attack he wouldn't even waste a pictosecond before rushing in to save the day, he is now battered with the thought of just walking by, a thought a younger him would've been horrified to have even contemplated but that now feels so common.

And the worst part is the isolation. Sure, he has some of the best friends anyone could ask for, all of whom would die for him a thousand times over if he simply asked, and yes, he has a little brother who loves him more than the universe itself, and he is so very grateful and happy for all of them but as he feels the separate between who he is and who the world expects him to be slip away, he feels like he can't turn to anyone.

He can't vent to Tails, cause he knows his little brother looks up to the Hedgehog and he doesn't want to look weak to him, not realizing that he's only setting his beloved little brother to experience the same thing he has later on in life.

He can't vent to Amy as for all her empathy and compassion, he still feels that she looks up to the idea of Sonic she's had since she was a kid and he can't bear to break that image she has of him, not realizing that his self isolation will only make Amy feel like he still sees her as that little girl obsessed with him from all those years ago and not his friend.

He can't vent to Knuckles, cause he fears what the blunt and bravdo warrior will say to him if he expresses any semblance of weakness, not realizing that if any person in the world was to understand loneliness, it would be the sole guardian of the Master Emerald.

He can't turn to Shadow, cause while they aren't active enemies anymore, his rival still holds enough disdain for the blue hedgehog to make any opening up risky, not realizing that his opposite is amongst the first to respond when he's needed help with anthing regardless of how severe.

To top it off, of all the people in the world to recognize the Hedgehog's deteriorating state, it is not one of his friends who picked up on some odd behavior, it is not a fan who noticed how his smile began to lack that energy it used to, it wasn't even just a passer by sensing something was wrong and asking if was ok just on a whim.

Of all the people of Mobius, it was Doctor Eggman who noticed the Hedgehog's descent into depression and depersonhood. And the Doctor did not waste a moment to pounce on the opportunity. Attacks increased, their frequency, their scale, the distance they occured, the friends he attacked, all the while he secretly pushed the very hero worship that has begun to destroy his old enemy, why kill Sonic when he can get the whole world to worship him and watch him break right infront of their eyes.

He feels the chains and weights of expectation pull on his neck and limbs, dragging him down as a mask is molded onto his face and he's demanded to play an act. As he puts more and more weight on his shoulders with a smile faker than any illusion. As the very smoke that got him high now sucks the oxygen from his lungs and suffocates him.

His endless empathy that refuses to let him let anyone come to harms way if he can do anything about it and incredible ego refusing to let his reputation be tarnished in the slightest mixing to form a deadly cocktail that only pushes him closer and closer to a path of apathy and self destruction.

Sonic the Hedgehog is a hero, he loves being a hero, he loves the people he has met and he finds no more satistfaction when saving the day.

But he is still just a man, a man who bears the weight of the world on his shoulders and refuses to let anyone see the cracks starting to form, and like any man who puts the world on his shoulders, it's only a matter of time till its overwhelming weight simply crushes him.

[agonizedembrace]

“why are you doing this?” growled out to the best of her ability as the priestess attempts to speak through the blood that pools in her mouth. “i trusted you.”

even if she did explain it would be met with the same venomous expression that she's currently receiving.

that does little, however, to take away from the gut wrenching feeling that resides in the demon as her lashers continue to pry further into the woman on top of her. akali trusted her ; because of her efforts. because of endless days of pleading ( rather begging ), of proving that she is worthy of the human's love. and oh, to throw it away in mere moments.

it is as selfish as it is selfess.

the moon will claim akali otherwise, this she knows. known since the day she was able to lay eyes on her again. it is a grace, evelynn tells herself ( bitterly so ) to grant her another life. to be reborn again. ' i'm doing this for you, ' she wants to say, through gritted teeth as fingers twitch on each side of the priestess' face. but really, is it for her or for evelynn?

loathe is she to admit it, but she loves the human. time is cruel, and this lifetime is not one meant for them, nor the one before this. how many more years will she wait now, keeping this sight burned into her memory of how much akali hates her?

" i know, " she coos instead. it's melancholic, a thousand words that'll never breach the surface. there's no time if she doesn't act now : akali's soul will be claimed and to never return. so selfishly does evelynn consume. selfishly she begins to merge them. together, but not in a way that either desire. " i'm sorry. "

fleeting kisses, ones that taste of blood and sweat, prod at the human's jaw. desperate to grant affection despite the murder happening at her very own hands. despite how the priestess tries to pull away.

" you'll understand, one day. " said with so much conviction that her voice cracks in an uncharacteristic way. her claws tremble as they dig deeper, consuming more bitterly. lashers that dare to pry akali open further, so evelynn can become one with her.

a meal has never tasted so revolting.

[frostbounddevotion]

My personal written Eulogy to Gojo and my VERY BRIEF take on the final chapter: and what I hope to share with Gojo fans.

Im grieving, and I'm upset. Theories about Gojo and the analogies, etc, make me almost mad. A possible reality i DO NOT want to think about. The more I read, the more im like

*Gege's writing needs work. Maybe a novel series on his own own time? Maybe he can "fix" it when his health is better and the pressure doesn't break him down?*

This is all so depressing. The disappointment is insurmountable. Gojo was used and abused in canon, some would even argue irl by Gege to promote the series. The fact that Gojo wasn't recognized or formally acknowledged is hard for the fans, really hard (and Gojo isn't my #1 bias/fav so please don't say it only affects Gojo stans), and it gives an air of vunerable feelings and unprocessed emotions. What makes me more upset is the very last panel. It seems like the entire journey was a waste.

Many will defend the ending, and many more will ciriticise it, but I can still acknowledge and respect why it ended the way it did while still being upset. Neither experience lives in a vacuum.

In my own little way, I'm going to mourn and commemorate Gojo's passing. Stories, fictional or not, still provide very real and (parasocial) experiences. So here we go:

Gojo was a flawed character. Very much like people in real life. We tend to romanticize the dead, overlooking our flaws. When I remember a loved one who's passed, I start with their flaws.

Gojo was an annoying, inconsiderate character who sometimes was cold and callous to other's experiences/feelings. He's a big fat inconvenience at times and generally makes others feel unimportant or small. Much hubris lies within him.

However, he had lead a very hard and selfless life from beggining to the end. From his first heartbeat to his last breath. And that should be considered when addressing his behavior. He was seen for what he can do, not for what he loved and enjoyed. His identity outside the 6 eyes and infinity was secondary. His worth in the jujutsu world came not from the relationships he could have formed, but the strength in his abilities. This experience isn't unique in the jujutsu world, as many other sorcerers walked away and tried to start their own life. But when this world and role becomes your identity and reason for your existence, it becomes even harder to escape.

I think many of us can relate to that. The burdens of our own thoughts and opinions of others can gravely impact our identity. Our beliefs, values, and sense of self worth affects the way we interact with the world around us.

Despite being used, propped up for others benefit, and his body being used as a means for an end WITHOUT even a thank you, recognition, or appreciation for the person behind it is foul. From fighting the school to protect his students,To making his life purpose for children to ENJOY their youth (and breaking cycles), to 14-21 hours of sleep a week being his life without complaint, just to be blamed of all that is wrong in jujutsu's way of life but still getting every job done, and his only semblance of an understanding relationshionship being ripped away by the world that gives you meaning.... geeze.... and this man still chooses to smile. To live everyday with that much goofy adhd energy without taking his resentment out of someone or something (*unlikegetocough*) takes STRENGTH and RESILIENCE. It takes GRACE. It takes SELFESS SACRIFICE.

These feelings are something I struggle with everyday. Gojo became a singlr parental figure to a 6 yr old boy as a teen. He took it in stride. My little boy is the same age now. My little one (FJO) is.... on the spectrum and has a cocktail disorders that make living in this world hard. He's angry. He is defiant. He is full of love and potential. Being a parent to FJO is isolating, immensely difficult, rarely rewarding, and time consuming especially in a world who doesn't respect or bother to understand him. And I have schools afraid of me because I held them accountable for not doing their job.

Parenting is complicated. You end up losing your identity, freedom, and sense of self when you do it alone with no resources. And that's for healthy parents with neurotyical children. Add the fact that the parent I were raised for being "amazing, smart, and worthwhile as long as you meet these standards that we set in place to satisfy us and thats all you're good for" to then you feel like you were robbed of your life. That you were emotionally abused by those who were supposed to love and care for you and your youth robbed for the benefit of your guardians. Only for your life to change and be robbed of your sense of self once again. My body (i am born female) is a vessel for others, my career is for the approval of others, my time and energy with about 4 hrs of asleep if given to other's, my money and savings is spent on others. I don't want my child or others to feel the way I felt when i was little, but it's hard when you remain unhealed. I was chronically bitter.

Im not saying gojo and I the same. But as someone with no blood family and role models, what i take away from Gojo is to that it's OK to have flaws, confidence, and sacrifice. Because to someone else, I am or may be their everything. In their little world, I am Gojo to them. The one who's doing it all. And for their sake, I should be smiling. I should never let FJO see how much I'm suffering (no worries I'm in therapy. I'm getting the help I need). I want to be better for him. I want to be the best version of myself I can be. It's ok that this part of my life is thankless. It's not about reward or recognition or what others placed on me. Sometimes it's just THIS WAY, and if I am to do this, I should do it well.

I will honor Gojo in the way I parent. In the way I carry myself. In the way I interact with others around me. I will protect like the vulnerable under my care like he did. Sacrifice like he did. Expect nothing like he did (in the best way possible). Do my best to break generational cycles like he did.

Gee. One more thing about his ending. The way everyone just moved on without acknowledging Gojo's body or person and almost forgotten... brought memories of my safety net; my Grandmother. Whom died and had a funeral, and i video chatted once before she was gone. I never properly finished grieving her. I never got a chance to attend her funeral. Never was able to visit her burial. (I live across the country). I cried for 2 days and moved on because losing her was too hard to process, and i had other things to do. I felt like I disrespected her, and the manga resurfaced these feelings. I was able to be self-aware enough that I saw my grandmother in how Gojo's ending was all handled. I was now able to process that.

I had no role models. All I had was anime, fiction, and some school teachers. I'm grateful for Gojo's character. May i use these stories to become a better person. A better *me*. The JJK experience was fun. :) let's see what happens in the anime community from here.

Thanks for reading,

Alex

[epicfroggz]

"A malevolent snake writhed within Messmer, and so his very mother plucked out his eye and put in its place a seal of grace. Yet, having done so, her fear compelled her to secret away her child within the realm of shadow." Not many ppl talk ab this but removing a child's eye which ends up in blinding them bc Messmer doesn't has functional eyes is child abuse & mutilation regardless of Mrk's intentions

We know its not wholly selfess bc its the opposite. Mrk only did it out of fear of Messmer &abyssal serpent

Yeah, that is precisely what I have been saying!

When I first saw his phase 2 cutscene, not knowing anything but trailer speculation, it was absolutely harrowing: this man just pulled out his eye (the sounds he made…), which wasn’t actually an eye, it was a Marika’s Soreseal, and shattered it. And what became of him, of his body, the gaping hole in his face… How painful it all was! Then I beat him and read that line, that one you bolded, and so his very mother plucked out his eye—what the fuck!!! I still shudder at the thought.

The worst part is, he went along with it: you know young Messmer didn’t object, despite how much it hurt, because he had been told all his life that he was cursed, that the serpent was evil, that he would only inflict fear and suffering and burn everything he held dear. Because he loved his mother and his mother knew what was best. And I am so, so glad he curses her in the end. He may have been physically blind but his faith in her was not. Here in the Land of Shadow, he has witnessed the truth about his mother—keeping company with the original sin, and a hatred that would not be confined.

- Froggo