#selena harris (cod oc)

[toastthewolfie]

selena’s first time initiating physical contact after a mission.

It’s nothing big, no, just a small tap on the shoulder and a quick “good job out there” (Do i know who this would be? No. Am i fully open to plopping in another s.c. Oc here if im told how they would react? Hell yeah, always am). Its over as soon as it’s started but progress is progress at the end of the day :) (especially when girliepop used to fucking RUN out of the area just to avoid being touched. It took long enough for her to even stay in the area, much less interact)

this is an apology for the angst (i normally do a lot of hurt/comfort. For some reason my cod ocs as just the outliers 😭😭)

[toastthewolfie]

Selena Harris’ Masterlist of sorts

for context, Selena is my CoD OC. She’s in shadow company, this is her masterlist of sorts. This will be updated as I create more content for her :)

-*- Art -*-

Ref Sheet

Introduction Piece

Doodle 1 - Lighting Practice with Selena

Doodle 2 - Doodle Page

Doodle 3 - Eye doodle :)

Doodle 4 - guitar doodle

Doodle 5 - Family Photo

Doodle 6 - Chibi Selena

Bad Comic - Phonecall

Tw: Death. ‘Alone’

-*- Writing/Non-Art Rambles -*-

Selena Notes - Pt. 1

Selena Notes - Pt. 2

Selena Notes - Pt. 3

Fear of Highways

Flare Up

How she met Graves and joined Shadow Company

Character Development

touch aversion

-*- Information -*-

This is Selena Harris, she’s a former member of the army (Went by Iris, MWD Handler) and is currently part of Shadow Company (10-13). She’s 24 years old (4/12/2000, M/D/Y). She speaks English and Spanish (vaguely understands telgu as her mother is Indian). She had a mostly normal childhood until her father literally got hit by a car in front of her when she was 14 and dying, then fell in with the wrong group of people and ended up having no purpose. Ended up joining the U.S. Army at 18 for the sake of it, got her life in order and joined Shadow Company at 23 (she she’s a fairly new arrival).

She’s incredibly touch aversive and one of her habits is that when some misbehaves around her, her brain immediately goes into ‘bad dog’ type mode and scolds people like they’re a naughty dog (it’s engrained in her from her MWD days and the fact their family used to volunteer at an animal shelter, they still do just less nowadays).

[toastthewolfie]

selena’s the type of person to get really fucking existential and make someone be concerned and then immediately go back to normal.

like

Selena: “Does it every occur to you that at the end of the day we’re being sent to die for a cause that probably 90% dont care enough about to sacrifice our lives for yet we still do it because we crave order and leadership to the point where we’re willing to put our lives on the line?”

The random 19 year old rookie who selena just dropped this on: i- i dont- what- I-

Selena: anyways invisible fences are fucking stupid

[toastthewolfie]

tw: implied death

agh greyscale sketch of selena in the mw2 ‘alone’ mission as I imagine she was one of the few shadows to survive that night

i cant draw backgrounds, nor do i enjoy it lmao

also i forgot what the text looks like so i just went with my vauge recollection of it 😭 sorry

for context she saw Soap and Ghost taking out her colleagues like lambs to the slaughter and hightailed it out of there (she didnt get out of the city but made it to the outskirts where they weren’t there, hence why she tried to make contact with the others (yipeee survivors guilt time, amirite fellas)

[toastthewolfie]

more fun facts about Selena i supoose

She can blow smoke rings. She doesn’t smoke anymore, sure, but on the off chance where she IS smoking (which usually means something is very, VERY wrong), she can blow smoke rings if she so desires.

Despite how quiet she is, her voice is always incredibly even (unless she’s injured and struggling to talk (Like that one time she got choked out and took extremely long to recover from it due to the duration or if she was bleeding out for example), then her voice is more wobbly), even if she’s extremely distressed.

could NOT teach a person how to be a sniper. She can teach small things (such as her teaching kitkat how to explosive wire, thats small enough and easy to explain) just fine, but sniping? She’s an okay-ish mentor to someone who at least kind of gets what sniping is about but teaching someone from base line is NOT something she could do.

She’s actually really bad at reading people, especially on first meetings. If she’s saying someone is bad news after the first meeting (shepherd), 80% chance that they are, but she’s overall just abhorrent at determining motives, hence one of the minor reasons she’s so touch aversive (she doesnt want to get hurt, and touch is just a little… eh).

didn’t know jackshit about sports until she joined shadow co and wanted to connect a bit with a few of the others and since sports are a very common denominator (after all, who WANTS to discuss work outside of it, especially when you kill people for a living), she ended up picking up the basics on a few of em.

Doesn’t really have an accent but sometimes it comes out when she says certain words.

Has a great immune system and high-ish pain tolerance, but fairly prone to passing out (mostly from exhaustion and overheating but it isnt helped by the mostly black uniforms of s.c.). After long operations and even longer debriefs, can often be seen passed out at the bottom of the stairs. Has also just spontaneously collapsed before (though it was in the army and mostly from stress. She hasnt done that since her army days (and VERY earlier s.c. Days)) and scared the shit out of her commanding officers.

Fucking loves Chappell Roan. Can often be hears singing her songs while baking (most notably Pink Pony Club) with decent enough accuracy for someone who isn’t trained to sing at all.

lowkey terrified of her commanding officers like 90% of the time. (There are a few exceptions, of course, and all of them are from Shadow Company)

cannot keep plants alive for shit except for her pothos plant named Martha (real life reference, i have a pothos named martha, shes one of the few plants ive been able to keep alive, and i love her dearly) and will fight anyone who doesn’t approve of martha.

thats all for now :) thanks for reading :3

Notes pt. 3 (the rest are linked on that so :3)

[toastthewolfie]

uh. Tw for violence, ptsd, and the us army being shitty in forgien countries

Why ‘Alone’ affected Selena so much under the cut👍

Feel like i should mention WHY ‘alone’ affected selena so much.

as im sure you all are aware, the us military isnt exactly… great, in terms of affects in foreign countries.

basically, on one of her first deployments at the ripe age of 18, she saw a bunch of corpses sprawled out, clearly brutally murdered. This sent her spiraling and turn into this… numb barely sentient solider who just didnt react to anything and put herself in the line of fire simply because it was the most efficient way to complete the mission.

Shadow Company helped her recover from those long years, and yet, Las Almas? Sent her RIGHT back to that day, except now? She didnt have the backup of people encouraging her to not show emotion. She had people telling her it was okay to feel, it was okay to need help. Thats what caused her to spiral further and faster as she was CONVINCED she didnt need help and would just retreat back into herself when in reality all she needed at the time was just a hug every once in a while and therapy for a bit.

But no, her brain refused to accept help, just like she did 6 years ago and tried to shut down but the environment she was in now didnt allow for that. So her brain tried to compensate only to fail, making her incredibly suicidal.

i am so sorry for all the angst i cant help myself

[toastthewolfie]

lighting practice

eugh was supposed to be like. 30 minutes? Ended up being an hour of my life 🥲

[toastthewolfie]

sleeping (cod ocs)

figured id go a bit more in depth on their sleeping habits and whatnot (artistic diagram coming… eventually. Hopefully.)

Selena: Plops down and just sleeps wherever whenever (compared to my other ocs, she has the healthiest sleep schedule lmao). She’s a somewhat light sleeper and while she wont wake up if someone enters the room and does a few things before leaving (she does shift a bit though), if someone starts talking she’s up and at attention in under 10 seconds (under 5 seconds if someone touches her (accidentally or not) or something is dropped on or near her). Field ops are a different story though. She tends to avoid sleeping as much as possible (she’s the cover. She’s the suppressive fire, she needs to be ready and alert at any moment.) but when she does she usually just has her field pack covered by a random hoodie (that she probably stole from someone but thats irrelevant) and is sleeping in a straight line without moving. Is also sleeping considering heavier as she’s usually asleep because she’s fucking exhausted and can’t focus on targets.

Issac: Oh lord the boy is NOT sleeping. Let it be anxiety at the start or pain after he loses his arm, he will not sleep unless he’s exhausted to the point of near collapse simply because his body or mind won’t let him. When he DOES manage to fall asleep, it’s usually near someone that he knows and when he’s on base, he just sleeps in whatever position is comfiest in the moment (couch, bed, floor, whatever. If he’s comfy he’s sleeping). Field operations usually result in him slumped against a wall, closer to being knocked out than asleep. He’s a very heavy sleeper normally (but loud voices (exception of field ops, unless the yelling is close by) and beeps are some of the things that wake him up instantly regardless of how exhausted he is) so he tends to not wake up unless someone is specifically trying to wake him up (just like me fr 💪💪💪)

Astrid: Bestie you are NOT finding this woman asleep, you are finding her passed out on the floor barely breathing. She works herself to the bone and only rests when her body just goes ‘no, i cant do this anymore’ and forces her into unconsciousness just for a few hours of rest. The only time she falls asleep is when she’s back in her childhood home after family reunions, the peace of mundanity and the feeling of normality letting her bypass the stress of her work and gaining the ability to just… rest. Let herself relax for a few hours when she’s so used to working until she can’t make out words and then waking up on the floor of her office or in the medbay.

[toastthewolfie]

chibi selena

Based on the time i mentioned she always has a lighter

may do a couple other sketches like this with other shadows, it’ll be at random but yeah :D

[toastthewolfie]

character development

when selena first joined s.c., she kept to herself most of the time and whenever she was on the field, everything was done by the book and her fighting style resembled more of a machine than a man, combined with the fact that she showed no real remorse after killing a man. This is due to their personality being stripped away since the army turned them into a ‘fighter first, person later’, also leads to low sleep because her brain is so hardwired to combat and it feels the need to be ready to fight at any moment.

After like two months in s.c. is when she started to loosen up and start talking to people outside of missions (the crippling loneliness really started getting to her at this point and it was showing but she didn’t really wanna bother anyone, and the way the shadows were so physically interactive kinda scared her as she’s incredibly touch aversive)

like 7 months after joining (and where she is now) is when she’s kind of starts growing out of the shell of the person the army left them in. Gets more sleep nowadays but is a much lighter sleeper than before. Still working through their issues and stuff. They’re still very by-the-book on the field but is much more open about trying out other ideas that aren’t covered.

just a ramble :)

[toastthewolfie]

driving (im rambling to see if this helps me fall asleep, apologies for any typos

tw (i think. Idk.) discussion of trauma for selena, it’s not really graphic, just explains what happened without going into detail.

astrid: can drive but drives like a madman. She drives with the energy of a parent thats 10 minutes late to an important event and by the fucking gods is she gonna fucking be there asap. But if there are other people in the car and they aren’t rushing, she still drives like a madman but significantly less so.

issac: knows how to drive but never got past his permit. Mostly due to financial and time constraints, his mother didnt have time to drop him off and whatnot and his father had visa issues, much less a driver’s license (he also just, never bothered to get one)

selena: could drive, but doesn’t due to trauma. (For context she’s fucking TERRIFIED of cars due to her father literally getting hit by a car and dying right in front of her at the ripe age of 14) Would probably have a panic attack behind the wheel, crash the car, and then have an even WORSE panic attack.

[toastthewolfie]

i had a random thought about unhinged Selena.

not astrid (but astrid 100% supports it) she has too much responsibility to go wild. Not issac, he’s too afraid to do much out of line. Selena.

Selena is willing to get dirty if it means completing the mission. It’s one of the few things thats stuck with her time in the army (even if she tries to suppress it), ergo, she goes wild on a mission.

it is especially useful if she needs to interrogate someone. I mean, who wants to lie to the women who literally just murdered their entire platoon in record time (and at least three of them were done with her bare hands)

it only happens like once or twice every few years but good god it definitely happens (she then proceeds to just pass out after the mission is done)

[toastthewolfie]

Selena, at 2am through tears while stress baking a pie: “WHEN YOU WAKE UP NEXT TO HIM IN THE MIDDLE OF E NIGHT WITH YOUR HEAD IN YOUR HANDS YOU’E NOTHING MORE THAN HIS WIFEEEEE”

(Shes crying because the shadows were watching a movie with a german shepherd and the dog died so now she’s in grave emotional distress)

[toastthewolfie]

‘Phonecall’

May render it later but here it is. The angst train continues.

basically, Jack got shot multiple times and was in critical condition during this, Selena was still his emergency contact despite everything so she got the call during one of the few events she attended. She ended up driving to the mentioned hospital without permission from Graves (or rather. Anyone in general, she just kinda disappeared for a day).

After the initial meeting she only ended up visiting Jack every once in a while and once he woke up. Jack was obvious discharged from duty, leading to Selena asking him to take Skye (he agreed once he was recovered enough to maneuver around). Past that, Selena only really calls to check on Skye and make sure Jack is still alive.

Due to a lackluster reaction outside of inital distress, i don’t really know if anyone asked about what happened 🤷

[toastthewolfie]

Pt. 3 of Selena notes

pt. 1 | pt. 2 |

She HATES it when her feet aren’t on the ground, she doesn’t do well in aircrafts (bc its so high up) or when someone picks her off the ground (bc they’re a. Off the ground and b. Being touched), the only time they deem it okay is if they’re injured the point of being unable to walk, and even then, they prefer just using the other person as a crutch

Generally tries to not show herself being vulnerable, especially considering that she’s one of the younger members of Shadow Company, she doesn’t want to be seen as a liability as she knows that her injuries in the past can make her one. So whenever she’s either dealing with a flareup or is just on the brink mentally, she just passes off as ‘tired’ (she generally looks tired so it’s easy enough) and just isolates in her room until she feels normal enough)

speaking of wounds, the gunshot and burn wound were from her army days (closer to the end of her service with the army), the stab wounds on her hands came from her time in shadow company (one or two are from training accidents when someone accidentally grabbed a real knife instead of a fake one)

Cannot STAND black coffee, it needs to have an unholy amount of creamer or sugar for her to be able to stomach it normally. Of course, when she was in basic in the army, she full on just mixed celsius pre with her instant coffee made with monster energy instead of water, it’s a miracle that she didnt have a heart attack or something 😭😭😭

She doesn’t drink. She “got enough of that when I was 15 or something”, also just doesn’t trust anyone around base enough to drink openly (she’s also a lightweight, like embarrassingly so. Few shots and she’s done for the night😭😭)

She also barely smokes (literally she has one pack of cigaretes and they last her a year or more (longest running is 2 years, which she had to replace bc they werent good anymore)) but always has a lighter and can blow smoke rings (again, experience from falling in with the wrong people) like it’s second nature.

Really regrets not going to college, she knows that her mother is disappointed in her for joining the Army, and even more so for not taking advantage of the G.I. bill. She’s already made their family unit the laughingstock of the family, and she couldn’t just suck it uo and go to college or whatever? (Despite the fact that she cannot stand classroom settings and much prefers what she does now to any career she considered before.

Doesn’t really hold grudges, contrary to popular belief, (unless she DESPISES you, e.g. Shepherd, girliepop CELEBRATED when Price killed him) but remembers everything one might have done to wrong her but she’s not spiteful about it, it just affects how they operate with someone

also, if she ever makes herself a drink, she makes a lot of extra, just in case someone joins her and wants some :)

[toastthewolfie]

ramble about selena while i fail to sleep as writing usually tires me out

Most times, Selena is able to just pretend she’s fine, because she feels okay enough to be fine. Somedays it’s a little harder but easy enough, even if it’s obvious that it’s a bad day.

But what about the days where she can’t even control the way her hand moves, unable to stop it from cramping up and being unable to hold her pencil, much less her gun. Those days… they’re far and few but they happen. Thankfully, they happen late at night, when everyone is asleep, after a day of firing drills or an intense operation.

They thank the heavens that no one has to see them barely holding back tears from the fact that it hurts so, so much. And even then, she really does try to suppress it. She’s been shot and burned eithout crying. Her hands have been stabbed clean through multiple times without a single tear falling. But those are stressful situations where the pure adrenaline drowns out the pain, but the nights where the pain lances up their arms like a lighting bolt are without the adrenaline, rendering them helpless to the wave of unrestrained pain.

Nights where she just holds a heat pad to her wrist, resting her head against a counter and screwing her eyes closed as she just tries breathe and hope she gets through the night without crying or yelping.

and still, the second it’s over, she pretends like nothing is wrong. Just acts like they had a small flareup and they couldnt sleep so they took a tylenol and just stayed awake until it kicked in.