#seiya x usagi 4eva

[hana-bean]

I’ve done the unthinkable and uploaded chapter 18 of (don’t) Leave me alone in less than six months 🙃

Seiya and Usagi have a deep talk which leads to some trouble, and then more trouble… another domino falls.

I’ve been waiting like three chapters to use this title—Hands in the Dark. It’s a vibe.

[hana-bean]

Cut my heart out, do with it what you will 😭

[hana-bean]

I’m pleased to announce that I’m halfway finished with chapter 18! Only five days since my last update, that’s a straight-up record XD

However I maybe cheated a little as I included a lot of pre-written dialogue intended for other earlier chapters. I can def promise y’all won’t be waiting another 6 months for an update <3

I’m kind of excited for this one—it’ll be messy… >:)

[hana-bean]

Chapter 17 is live for (don't) Leave me alone!

Ah let's see... it gets tense in the Chiba household and Seiya and Usagi reach a bit of an impasse, and decisions are made...

This chapter ended up being one of those I had to break up into two but I promise it's got some good dramatic shit in there. I did not push it through to my beta this time because I really wanted to get it out ASAP since it's been way too long since my last update. Plus I feel like I'm at a point where I trust that I'm on a good path; we're almost finished with the fic anyway.

Luckily, the song Cherry by Chromatics really gels with the overall theme of the chapter. The Chromatics' music is what inspired the emotional mood I wanted to give the story as a whole, which is why their music pops up a lot.

Anyway, I hope y'all enjoy!

[hana-bean]

12 👏 pages 👏👏

That's how far I am on the new chapter :) I live again, my lovelies!

It's definitely a lot more dramatic than I intended but it's just where my fingers lead. Lots of things will come to light, but to a close... not at all >_>

This is going to be a long one to make up for all the time that I made y'all wait. I've given up apologizing since it feels like I do that with every chapter and it probably has lost its meaning by now. I only try to do my best and give my best to y'all <3 but I have found myself suddenly having to quarantine this weekend so I declare I will make as much progress as possible.

Soon... >:)

[hana-bean]

This is so beautiful. I'm loving the light colors chosen for Usagi and dark for Seiya—the contrast of the blonde and pink against the black and red really catches and keeps my eye. I can't stop staring!! Once again: perfection. I love it!!!

It couldn't have been posted at a better time either as I'm coming up for air from a very stressful last couple of months. Seeing this reminded me that things will always be okay and will start my long weekend off with such great hope and happiness :)

Thank you again, @yumeve! <3 Beautiful as always! Also, we oldies can reminisce on some old S/U content together. I found some fanfiction I wrote from just about 20 years ago myself. However, to reveal their whereabouts would put a curse on the internet. It's best for all of us to not know LOL

I hope you continue to enjoy the story as I will continue to enjoy your art! <3 :))))) I hope you are well!

So here it is! My fanart to @hana-bean​ ´s story (don’t) Leave me alone, chapter 5! ♥ I actually realized my very first pictures with Seiya and Usagi date already 20 years back. Omg I am so old lol XD But just look at them!.. And read the story:) I loved the latest chapter so much btw. I can just feel a storm approaching. Poor Mamochan and Motoki)) They will surely face some truth soon. 

[hana-bean]

Chapters six and seven of Frosted Hearts are up! I'm so sorry for the delay; I know I said I would have it all done in time by Christmas Day but I fell into some hard personal times and writing stopped being a distraction. Despite having these two chapters already typed out, to even post felt so exhausting in my head.

But I'm happy to report I've slowly made my way out of that pit and have now mustered up the motivation to get these two finished chapters out to y'all! I hope you enjoy them!

I will continue to work on FH alongside (don't) Leave me alone so please be on the lookout for those updates for the rest of the year :)

I love you all!

[hana-bean]

Chapter 16 is up, up, up!

Taiki and Yaten confront Seiya and it doesn't go well in multiple ways.

Honestly, this chapter went on way longer than planned. I was recently diagnosed with migraines and I typed about 3/4 of it after recovering from an attack. I feel like I get this surge of serotonin and become super productive post-migraine. I don't know if there's any scientific basis for that, but essentially, I wrote the majority of this chapter in one several-hour session.

And then took a two-month break 😬

But hey, I still made it and will continue to still make it. I love you all and appreciate y'all's patience so much. Please enjoy!

The song used is Black Walls by Chromatics. The lyrics spoke to me in a way that best describes Seiya's worship of Usagi and the power Usagi has over her, all the while Usagi continues to use Seiya to suppress her pain.

[hana-bean]

Chapter 14 of (don’t) Leave me alone has been posted!

Summary: Usagi runs into an old friend while out with Seiya and it starts to get under her skin.

(Dun, dun, dun!)

Okayyyy so that’s a little more ominous than necessary, but this chapter is meant to serve as a reminder of Usagi’s ever-present anxiety—planting a seed for the further drama to come in later chapters. However, the mood is relatively lighthearted so I do hope y’all enjoy :)

I meant for this chapter to have more scenes but as usual, I have no self-control and kept making their conversation longer and longer. Besides word count being a factor, the energies between the scenes are vastly different and it still felt appropriate to break them in half. So the song might seem kind of random because I was grabbing at straws for whatever I have in my playlist for this fic -_- but hey, it’s a good song nonetheless!

Love you all!

[hana-bean]

I don’t know any other life and don’t want to know

My face whenever someone says they ship Seiya and Usagi…

[hana-bean]

Conversations with another writer had me wanting to articulate some thoughts and explanations regarding (d)Lma's latest chapter (15).

What my writer friend had to say is perfectly summed up in a review that read, "she's sooo toxic." And honestly, I was so happy to read that XD as far as which 'she' they meant, I'll accept it as both LOL but I am glad that their behavior was recognized and called out.

Yes—this is when Usagi's anxiety reminds us it's not gone, but still everpresent in a different way; a way that manifests as codependency and possessiveness. For the first time in a long time, Usagi feels a semblance of control. Still, she is not well, she is not healthy, so her decisions will reflect that. I wanted to emphasize again that Usagi is not cured just because Seiya's in the picture—she still has her moody moments and is still insecure with herself as Usagi which then overflows into doubting her abilities as Sailor Moon. Even though Seiya knows what to say at the moment, the good feeling lasts for only that long. And temporary solutions are only temporary if you stop, so Usagi clings to Seiya to maintain the validation. Let's not forget her whole world rests on the foundation of Seiya's crush on her. While strong, it has needs of its own.

But then Seiya is toxic in her own way. She doesn't want to ruin her chances with the girl/woman of her dreams, so she overlooks a lot of red flags. Sure, sometimes her emotions get the best of her, as we read when she argued about Motoki (plus it felt so out-of-character for her to just fold and take it), but in the end, she will always do what's best for Usagi. Her heart stays in the present in order to not take away from the attention she receives from her. But all lies and sneaking around come to a head eventually.

My intention with this fic was to create and explore a flawed, intense, emotionally-driven romance. I didn't want to take the path of Usagi being in love with Seiya all along in secret (not to invalidate the fics that take that path) but I wanted to build their relationship from something organic, from the basis of "what would make Usagi be with Seiya over Mamoru, despite Mamoru?" Not that mental disorders are the only way for two people to connect romantically but for the purposes of rationalizing Usagi's infidelity and blurring the lines between toxicity and loyalty, anxiety and depression are helpful with that. And those are two things I know plenty about XD so I hope y'all keep enjoying the ride.

I've already started on the next chapter ;) things will get sticky. Thank you all and I love you! <3

[hana-bean]

Chapter 15 is finally up! Ah ah ah! 🎉

I’m so sorry for the delay. God I can’t believe it’s been a year and a half since I published the first chapter 😅 but we only have 4-5 more to go!! So almost done. Maybe even this year… (that’s a big maybe LOL)

We continue from the previous scene with Naru when Seiya and Usagi run into some challenges… with each other. Dun dun dun! Things start to get complicated.

The song choice is one that I’ve only heard recently but it has such a sexy vibe.

[hana-bean]

Chapter 12 is here!

Our OTP finally has a conversation. You can only guess how that will go—the only way that will make this fic more fun :P

I felt that the song, Warm Water, embodied that fluid, delicate sound that adds a feminity to the chapter's energy. It’s an inner dilemma and a hesitancy of emotions which is basically the whole fic in a nutshell LOL

Please enjoy :)

[hana-bean]

Reblogging only bc I want his top

[hana-bean]

[hana-bean]

Close to you (5/7)

Everyone walks on To meet just one person someday

---

As Seiya enjoyed his small breakfast in front of the televised morning news, he then limped his way toward the closed bedroom door after hearing a knock. He opened it to the sight of Serenity standing there with a solemn expression, hugging her crystal touchpad to her chest.

“Morning… um… do you have a few minutes?”

“Of course, your highness.” He backed up to open the door wider for her to enter, bowing as she passed by.

He closed the door as Serenity made her way toward the bed and sat. She placed the touchpad next to her, her movements slow and almost robotic.

“I’m sorry the latest hit was another false positive.”

He shrugged. “It’s okay. I’m sure there will be more.”

There was a pause before she decided to keep up with the niceties. “How’s your leg?”

“It’s fine. The doctor this morning said it was looking good. I’ve been able to move for a few hours without the cane the last couple of days”

She nodded. “Good.” As much as she tried to smile, the air hung heavy around her, causing Seiya to feel nervous. He felt the imminence of bad news and his mind jumped to being kicked out of the palace or completely off the planet. They both allowed the silence to slowly suffocate them, each one afraid to break it first, but Seiya couldn’t take it anymore.

“Is everything okay, your highness?”

She looked up, biting into her lips and her eyes glistening. “Um… I think so… but maybe not. It’s not up to me.”

Even more confused than he was before, he joined her on the bed. “What is it?”

Unable to bring herself to look at him quite yet, she sighed for the strength to get on with it.

“I’m sorry I waited to tell you this… I wanted to be sure before I talked to you… It took so long because I had to reach out to other planets to make sure what I had was right…”

He shook his head as it was spinning with all kinds of scenarios from her obscure rambling.

Her cerulean eyes finally worked up the courage to look into his dark blues. “Kinmoku is destroyed.”

Those three words hit Seiya like a vacuum, sucking out all the thoughts and feelings from his mind and body, rendering his expression unreadable and his movements frozen.

Serenity grabbed his hand and placed it in her lap in efforts to comfort him.

“The first night when we talked and I was looking it up, I noticed it had an uninhabited status, which is why I assumed you were a refugee. But then at the parade, when you told me your plans were to go back, I—” She used the back of her finger to wipe away a tear. “My heart just sank. You didn’t know and I would have to be the one to tell you. But I had to make sure my information was correct because that’s your home…”

Seiya’s eyes were fixated on his grip on Serenity’s hand, which only got tighter.

“I’m so sorry, Seiya. If you want to see for yourself…” She picked up the crystal pad, unlocking it to reveal it already displaying the referenced information on Kinmoku before holding it out for him.

With a slight unwillingness, he accepted the device, reading and scrolling through the database meant only for a queen’s eyes.

He shook his head in denial. “I don’t understand. We would check out information on Kinmoku whenever we got the chance and never saw anything like this. We would send out messages with no answer, but we just thought the farther we were, the slower the responses would be…” He trailed off as his mind became distracted seeing keywords like, ‘unsustainable,’ ‘high death toll,’ or ‘military training base.’

“With the inhabited universe being so vast, a lot of planets are slow at receiving information. Or they don’t have the resources to keep up. But also, a lot of stuff is classified for some reason. I know I sometimes have to double-check things with other places. But… the planets that are considered the most trusted had the same information as me.”

Seiya tossed the pad to the side and rested his eyes on the base of his palms as if to push the tears back in. “Fuck. What are we gonna do?”

Fighting the urge to pull his hands away from his face, while it felt wrong to only sit there and do nothing, Serenity’s hands gently slid over his arms and around his back as she rested her chin on his shoulder. “I’m so sorry, Seiya. I’m so sorry you had to find out like this.”

He welcomed the affection, wrapping his arms around the royal waist and pulling her closer for him to bury his face in the crook of her neck. She soon felt his warm tears falling on her skin.

“It’s okay… it’s not…” His voice was too shaky to continue talking in his attempt to try to hold back from screaming.

“I know you need some time to think and talk about it with the others, but you’re more than welcome to stay here with… us. In the palace…” The emotions of her heart gave her away while the supposed logic of her mind was only helping them. “And even if you have to leave to continue finding your princess, we can be your home base. As long as she’s out there, and with whatever happens after that, I will do everything I can to help you.”

With a sniffle, Seiya pulled back to wipe his face. “Thank you, Serenity. You’re so kind.” There was a considerable pause for him to lose the strength of his composure and submit to the heaving sobs.

She allowed her tears of sympathy to fall as she squeezed his shoulders. “Are you okay, Seiya? Do you want me to leave you alone?”

He shook his head. “Not really.”

She nodded. “Okay, I’ll stay.” Her pale fingers then threaded through his loose dark locks to push them out of his face and behind his ear before she guided his head back to her neck. And then ever so gently, she guided his body with hers to lay down on the bed.

Slowly, as they became wordless and emotionally exhausted, the lulls of random sniffles and sobbing turned into silence and blanketed them to sleep.

A couple of hours later, Serenity found herself the first to wake, her chin being tickled by the flyaways of Seiya’s hair as her hand still gripped his shoulder. His face lay only a couple of inches from her chest while his arm rested in the dip of her waist.

Carefully, she shifted to rest on her back while placing Seiya’s arm on his side, relishing moving onto a fresh, cool spot on the bed and being able to stretch her body. It didn’t take long for her movements to cause Seiya to stir, starting his wakeup process with a yawn.

“Hey.” Serenity smiled before having to yawn herself.

He rubbed his puffy eyes and returned the smile. “Hey.”

“How are you?”

“I’m okay.”

“Good.”

“What time is it?”

She then looked to the television that was still going on low volume, the news now turned into a morning talk show.

“I guess… maybe almost lunchtime.” And right on cue, her stomach rumbled.

He tittered. “Your stomach says it is lunchtime.”

“That’s only because I missed my morning snack.” She playfully whined as she hugged her tummy.

“I’m sorry about that.”

“Don’t be. I wasn’t going to leave you alone.”

“Did you have anything important this morning?”

“Yes—that’s why I’m here.”

Seiya smiled while his eyes peered at the queen with both innocence and allure.

“What they say when they call you Queen Odango… is that your odangos are stuffed with love and justice…” As he touched both of her buns with a single finger for both descriptive words, he watched her blush appear over her nose and cheeks. His digit then moved to rest on her head.

“…and in here, some barbecue pork.”

Serenity’s jaw dropped in humored outrage before grabbing his hand. “You’re so rude!”

The laugh that came from him sounded pure and sincere, indicative of a person in pain finding true happiness in the moment.

“I’m sorry, I’m still thinking about those dumplings from the parade. They were so good.”

“Well, be nice to me or I’ll have them blacklist you.”

“Hmm, okay, they weren’t that good…”

When she went to push on his shoulder to get him to stop his teasing, she became aware that their hands were still grasping and their fingers now interlaced. It seemed that he had just noticed too, as she watched his face soften in realization. And yet, none of them made any movements to release one another.

After some time staring, silently agreeing that they wanted the same thing, Seiya moved closer to take her lips captive with his own.

---

As Serenity slipped through the door and closed it behind her, she took a few steps down the hallway before passing by a voice.

“I know that dress.”

She jumped halfway to the ceiling before realizing Rei was leaning against the wall a few feet away.

“That was the dress you wore to your anniversary with Endymion last year,” the fire guardian cocked an eyebrow. “For your private dinner in your chambers. I remember it took you weeks to decide on it.”

Serenity rubbed down on the garment as if to brush out its wrinkles. “Well… it’s… so pretty. Can I not wear it twice?”

Shaking her head, Rei stood up straight. “I came here about thirty minutes ago looking for you. The king has tried calling you this morning… twice. But you sounded busy.”

Her shoulders dropped, the color of her face gone, yet with glowing red cheeks. She knew she was caught. “Rei, I—… that—… we—… he’s just…”

“Kind of irresistible? I know.” She twisted her mouth into a smile and stepped slowly toward the bumbling queen. “It’s okay, Serenity. You don’t owe me an explanation… at least for now. I’ll give you time to think of one.”

Still too shocked to really speak or figure out exactly what Rei was thinking, Serenity sighed instead. Rei then threaded her arm through hers in a motion of support and began to lead her highness down the hallway.

“I mean, if we're all immortal, boredom is inevitable. Just didn’t think it would have hit you after only four years.”

“I don’t… I don’t know what that was. It just happened. I went in there to tell him about Kinmoku—”

“Ah yes, grief: the greatest aphrodisiac.”

“He was just so sad and… defeated. I couldn’t leave him.”

“And couldn’t not sleep with him?”

“I don’t know, Rei. We just knew that’s what we wanted… and it just happened.”

Approaching the front door, both women stopped to face each other.

Rei crossed her arms. “So is that why you gave him his own cottage—so you’d be able to scream as loud as you wanted just in case?”

Serenity formed a bubble in her mouth, trying not to laugh, but it only came out as suppressed raspberries. Rei also found herself unable to keep in her own giggling.

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Please note if you would like to follow this story, I will be updating the rest of the chapters under the tag: hanabean close to you and other iterations of the spacing. I love you all!