#segfaultfault

[persnickety-doodles]

5 and 28 for your art asks!

5. What work are you most proud of (regardless of likes/reblogs)?

My cowgirl! She’s from my brain, and people love her!! 🥹

28. Did you learn anything about your art/process/style this year?

I learn this all the time (I forget sometimes) but, I think I can take my time with my process. I often get in such a rush to finish everything in one sitting and if a piece is so complex, it gets tiresome.

It’s okay to time away from a piece.

End of the Year Wrapped: Artist Edition!!

[segfaultfault]

And the art by Marseptica!

[spudking]

30's ask! 41 (oldest thing you own) and 48 (outrageous feature you want in a house)

41. Oldest thing? Probably my coffee table. Nothing special about it, it's just my parents' old one that they'd stuck in the loft waiting for one of us to need a coffee table, but I'm pretty sure it's old than I am.

Although I do also own a knife I forged from the leaf spring of a morris minor (blacksmith experience day, I'm not anywhere near capable of doing that on my own!), so the metal there's probably older than the table if it isn't quite in it's original form.

48. Outrageous feature? Got to be a doorway behind a bookcase. Brilliant and ridiculous in equal measures.

[wizardofahz]

WIP game:

I am curious about "A Question of Identity" and "Monsters in the Mirror" if you please. Thank you!

Sure thing! You picked some angsty fics to ask about. 😈

A Question of Identity is a WIP in which tragedy makes the Danvers sisters do a lot of assessing and rebuilding of their senses of self. I suppose it's kind of an alternate ending to season 3. I've posted a couple of sneak peeks in the past (1, 2), and here comes another one.

Kara hears the entrance of the Fortress of Solitude open. There’s only one other person who can open that door. For a moment she considers leaving. She doesn’t have the energy to interact with anyone. She doesn’t in the end. She also doesn’t have the energy to care if her lack of resolve worries Kal. “I thought I might find you here,” Kal says from behind her. Kara doesn’t bother turning around, just asks, “What do you want, Kal?”  “I wanted to see how you’re doing and to ask if there’s anything I can do,” he offers. Many people have offered Kara the abstract “anything.” It’s a nice sentiment, but Kara has found little solace in it thus far. “There’s nothing anyone can do.” “Kara,” Kal says as if there must be something he can do but quickly pauses when nothing comes to mind. The name elicits a laugh from her that surprises them both. Perhaps calling it a laugh is generous. It’s more of an escape of helpless emotion. Kara.  That’s her name.  But what does it mean? Is she Kara Zor-El? Is she Kara Danvers? Losing Krypton had been traumatic. In some ways though, the necessity of total reinvention had helped. Kara Danvers held little of the trauma of Kara Zor-El, no hints of alienness, invisible by design. It had only been in recent years between becoming Supergirl and a reporter that she had started to let the latter seep into the former. Who is Kara on Earth? Who is she without Alex?  Once upon a time, Kara thought about moving to Metropolis to be with Kal. Alex had protested being left behind. But Alex is gone now. Kara could move to Metropolis. But all she wants is Alex back, Alex who made this planet home. “There’s never been a Kara Danvers without Alex,” Kara says out loud.  The non sequitur has Kal looking confused. “There was only Kara Zor-El,” Kara continues and, without realizing it, switches to Kryptonian. “There is only Kara Zor-El, who has lost her family, her culture, her planet. Kara Zor-El, who does not exist on this Earth. Kara Zor-El never had an Alex Danvers. Except that’s not quite true, is it? Because Alex did know me. All of me.” Kara only realizes she’s switched to her native tongue when she looks at Kal El, looks at Clark Kent, who has only ever known this planet and looks apologetically lost. “Do you understand anything I am saying right now?” she asks. There’s no malice in her voice, only sadness. “I--” Clark begins sheepishly in English. “Only some of it. I’m sorry.”  “It’s not your fault,” Kara says tiredly because it isn’t.

Monsters in the Mirror is about guilt and facing the consequences of one's actions. It's set in season 2. I do have an old sneak peek, but to be honest, it could do with more editing. Here's a more updated sneak peek.

In her apartment, M'gann watches Alex pace back-and-forth, full of unsettled energy. In the end, it's no surprise when Alex changes course and heads for the door. “You know what? Forget it. You wouldn’t understand.” “Before you walk out that door--because if you really want to, I won’t stop you--I just want to say one thing," M'gann says. To her relief, Alex stops with her hand on the doorknob. She doesn't turn around, but M'gann senses hope that maybe her words of wisdom will make a difference. M'gann continues, “If you want to keep running, that’s your choice. But I don’t think you do. You came to me for a reason. You could have gone to Kara or J’onn. You know they would welcome you with open arms at any time"--at this, Alex's head dips in guilty acknowledgment--"but you came to me instead. Kara and J'onn know guilt, of course they do. But they know the guilt of surviving what has been done to them. You chose me because I know what it's like to live with the guilt of what I have done. So don’t tell me I won’t understand.” Alex slumps. She rests her head against the door. She stays like that for a while until she finally musters up the words. “I killed my dad,” Alex says quietly. M'gann wants to believe that she misheard. She knows enough about J'onn and the Danvers to know how important family is. No wonder Alex has been spiraling. M'gann waits for Alex to continue, knowing a break in momentum may mean the rest never comes at all. “I always knew that I would do anything to protect Kara. I just... I never thought that would mean killing other people that I love." Alex pauses to take a deep, shuddering breath. "And maybe the worst part"--She hesitates again. Clearly what's coming next is the part she really doesn't want to face--"is that I’d do it again. For Kara, I would. What does that say about me? If I’m capable of killing my dad, then what won’t I do? Who wouldn’t I hurt? J’onn? My mom?”

And thus ends our double dose of angst.

Thanks for the ask!

[bigbangsanvers]

Choosing You, Choosing Me

written by @segfaultfault

Rating: Teen and up audiences

Warnings: None

Summary:

Maggie Sawyer jumped from her chair with a clatter. Before Alex could call her lightsaber to her hand, Maggie's lips were on hers. Every muscle in Alex's body went slack all at once as Maggie pushed her into the wall with two hands fisted into her cloak.

"Mmph!" she grunted, unable to speak past Maggie's insistent lips.

"Play along, or we're both dead," Maggie hissed in her ear.

Alex didn't know why she accepted the premise presented to her. She did.

At least, she did until Maggie put both hands flat against Alex's shoulders and shoved her back into the wall. Alex's head connected with a heavy thunk that clacked her teeth together and reverberated in her skull. Her lips buzzed with the suddenly missing contact.

The woman, who'd been all over her a moment ago, now stared at her with near hatred.

"Stay out of the things that don't concern you, Jedi," Maggie Sawyer spat.

What? "But you—" But she…. "What?"

Additional tags: Star Wars Setting, JEDI AU, Lesbians in Space, Gay Disaster Alex Danvers, Jedi!Alex, Jedi!Maggie, Discussions of Jedi culture, former jedi, Referenced Terrorism, lightsaber violence, Sanvers Big Bang 2023

With art by @marseptica

These works were part of Sanvers Big Bang 2023 and were revealed on November 3.

[throughalleternity]

@segfaultfault Thanks! Snippet of cutting room floor below, though it's more just a fun indulgent thing I wrote that I decided was taking up too much room + a bonus unpublished genderfluid!Lucy prompt I ended up editing while pasting it in this post. (@anon who has asked about Leon navigating sex within the triad, I hope you see this!)

The ease of your pose (Directorship, transmasc!Alex):

Lucy kisses him and then thinks for a moment. “Is Winn making Kara a new suit?”

“Good guess, but try again.”

Another kiss, then “Kara’s quitting her reporter job to pursue her singing career on Broadway.”

“What?” Alex laughs, hands momentarily still over Lucy’s back as he processes the words.

“You said I’d never be able to guess, so I went with something I wouldn't guess. Her love for karaoke is something else, though.” Lucy leans in for another kiss, only to pull back when Alex’s phone vibrates once on the side table.

Alex’s kiss aimed for her cheek ends up on the side of her head as she shifts to the side to grab it.

Scrapped Lucy/Maggie thing, sentence fluff:

There are two things you most enjoy about coming home from work: watching Maggie perk up when you walk through the door, and hearing her sigh of contentment when you nestle yourself against her.

Unpublished genderfluid!Lucy + Director Sanvers sex thing (rated M, prob not E):

Leon walks in, only to pause at the threshold.

The lights are low, but he can make out Maggie leaning over a shirtless Alex, her mouth latched onto the sensitive skin of Alex’s neck that she offers up. Maggie's legs shift and Alex's hips follow—

Leon looks away.

They've talked about new and changing yes/no/maybes, and this amount of involvement, this watching, is exactly what they all said they were comfortable with. But it's never been more than a hypothetical.

Before he can even worry whether he's wanted or not, Alex is beckoning him over. "You don't have to stay so far away, if you want to be closer?"

He reaches for her hand.

They shuffle around to make room on the bed, Maggie and Alex facing each other and Leon curling around Alex's back.

Maggie reaches across, resting her hand on his thigh. "This okay? We all cuddle, and Alex and I keep going?"

"I like that." He walks his fingers up Alex's spine, touch tentative. "Alex?"

"Yeah." Alex nods. And then she rakes a hand up Maggie's side and gets her to hiss and start touching back.

This is what he likes—being close, but not the center of attention. From there, he can feel Alex shiver, muscles twitching where Maggie ghosts her fingers over. He can hear the noises Maggie makes when Alex finds someplace sensitive, and kiss the nape of her neck in appreciation.

Whether they keep doing this or it ends up as more overt fucking, it's satisfying all the same. Maybe even more comfortable this way right now, with fewer places for discomfort to creep in.

Maggie's thigh finds its way between Alex's again. Leon feels her get more and more desperate. "I want—" Alex starts.

Maggie stills her motions. "Can you ask?"

"Maggie—"

"Not me."

It takes a second for Alex to process, but then she reaches back for Leon's thigh. "Please."

There are times when Alex wants to beg much more than that, but that's for later, for when they aren't already doing new things. So Leon just makes her wait the time it takes to kiss the back of her shoulder while he guides her hand to her stomach, and then lower. "Yes."

He and Maggie hold her through her shaking, and then after as she comes down.

Sometimes Alex cuddles harder after she comes, but depending on what they do, sometimes she prefers to stretch out and do something else. So once he feels like she's fine, Leon shifts his body back a little. "Should I stay, or do you want a little space?"

Alex curls up more, making a humming noise as she tenses and relaxes again, flopping over to face him, smiling. "I'm going to get up, but stay? I'll be right back."

"Sure." He pauses. "We can actually talk abut it more later, but that was good? You enjoyed it?" He looks over to Maggie, too.

Their yeses overlap each other and reassurance blooms warm in his chest.

"Alright, go do your thing," he says to Alex, grinning as she clambers off the bed. He rolls over to Maggie, letting himself be pulled in.

"And you?" she asks.

"Really good," he says, throwing his arm around her and sinking into the connection. "Really, really good."

[kelinswriter]

Ao3 wrapped 2023

Tagged by @smarterinabsentia

Works published: 1, still unfinished, plus some cleanup editing to some older fics.

Wordcount: 43,598 (and counting)

Kudos: 44 (plus lots to older fics, which always makes me smile)

Most popular by kudos: My all time kudos champ is still Eclipse with 814. Yes, I will finish it eventually.

Longest/shortest (irrelevant when there is only one): The Pirate and the Spy at 43k, but by finish it looks to be close to double that. A proper novel it is.

Most Comments: Comments are a dying art form, which makes me appreciate the folks who still do it all the more.

Fics that made me cry: You Don’t Remember Me, But I Can’t Forget You by @segfaultfault is the Sanvers fic of the year. It takes that murderous mindwipe and stands it on its head.

Fics that made me smile: Sometimes Through the Stars by @smarterinabsentia was my big gulp this year. Love this world. Also her What Eats You series and @segfaultfault ‘s Operation Unmask the Masks, which I just finished. Looking forward to catching up with more fic in 24. I’m so behind on my reading!

events: Sanvers Big Bang 4.0 and also a short lived revival of SanversCon. Hoping to get on a more regular schedule in 2024.

Tag yourself if you like! Here’s to a creative 2024.

[segfaultfault]

There's a crash from upstairs as Ruby tumbles out of her room with heavy steps at the top of the staircase. "Mom? Alex? Are you guys okay?" Alex shrinks back. She stuffs a handful of grapes into her mouth, chewing guiltily, knowing that leaves you to answer your daughter. "Fine, honey!" you call back in that fake mom voice you only use when you don't want her to worry. After all, if this is it, you wouldn't want Ruby to hate Alex when all is said and done, would you? We won't.

This began with an angst prompt list (Tumblr link) and @endersbegin throwing at me #22: "Do you trust me?" "I don't know" for Alex/Sam.

Then this happened.

[segfaultfault]

“Does he make you feel like this?“ Alex/Lucy, 5 sentences prompts

"Oh my god, I think I love you," Alex moans.

Lucy hops off her table and pushes the masseur aside with the heel of her hand planted in his sternum. She climbs Alex, pressing the entire length of her body along Alex's back and ass as she feathers her fingers down Alex's triceps and forearms. "Does he make you feel like this?" she whispers in Alex's ear.

Alex flushes clear down to where she clutches the towel to her body. "Oh my god, Lucy, we're in public."

[segfaultfault]

“you know what you’re doing” Sam/Kara

"Yeah, I do. I've only been doing it the same way for the twelve years I've been raising Ruby on my own."

"Whoa, I didn't mean--" Kara backpedals with her hands in the air. 

"No, no, you're right," Sam relents with a sigh, sagging with the burden of her sins, "carrots don't belong in spaghetti sauce. It started as a trick to get Ruby to eat vegetables, but then she started peeling them to help me make her favorite sauce, and when you called me out last night, I couldn't admit in front of her that I'd been lying to my own daughter for twelve years."

[spudking]

hello! yet another writing ask: 28,33 please

28. Any writing advice that works for you and you feel like sharing?

When the urge to write grabs you cling on for dear life as long as you can.

Don't know how to phrase that exact bit? Stick "????" there and get back to it later, don't lose steam worrying about one piddly sentence.

33. Give your writing a compliment.

Rude.

I think I can write dynamics between characters pretty well? Fairly believably at least? And I can do a decent plot.

[spudking]

writer's truth or dare: ☁️🦋🏜️

☁️ ⇢ what made you choose your username?

(copying in from an earlier ask) Halfway through marathoning the extended lord of the rings trilogy we went to put food on and ended up playing effectively a very ill-advised game of real life fruit ninja with kitchen knives and baby potatoes. I managed some unusually coordinated thing and, in a fit of overly caffeinated excitement, declared myself the lord of the potatoes and the spud king.

🦋 ⇢ share something that has been on your heart and mind lately 

How utterly ill-equipped I am to resolve or even help with half the shit coming at me personally and professionally (either directly or at my family, friends, team), and how despite ticking most of the boxes to define me as a truly adulty adult I feel like an overgrown 14 year old most of the time.

🏜️ ⇢ what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

All comments are good comments, but anything that picks out something specific is just next level.

[spudking]

Hello! For the fruit game, 🍓 please. I'd love to know what you consider your most underrated fic, and what you love most about it. Thank you!

(Love your writing btw)

I'm always surprised anyone rates my stuff so I'm not sure there's really an underrated one that I think deserved a bigger audience, but I guess Internet Connection got the smallest following. That one was a bit tricky to write.

I still want to go back and finish those three I've got on the go, but I might need to dip into another fandom and get back into the rhythm of it all again. Nothing is dead til I finally give up.

[segfaultfault]

The pep talk he'd given her about being unemployed feels sour in hindsight. She'd shifted her entire life for him, and he couldn't even put his money where his mouth was. Lucy stares at the menu like she has heat vision and can burn through it. She doesn't. Instead of bursting into flames, the paper flops over like a limp dick. Behind it, James is still rambling. She tries to telepathically signal him to stop digging his own grave. It doesn't work. For a split second she wonders if being an alien would make her more desirable to James. No. He has plenty of friends who are human. Kara, for instance.

[segfaultfault]

[spudking]

fruit ask! 🫐🍇

(love to see you posting again! (I know nothing about the fandom, but I'm excited for you!) please do take this as an opportunity to gush about your new fandom (or old, as you prefer))

🫐 What’s your favorite underrated thing in your fandom? (A ship that only you seem to write for, a character there’s almost no fics about, a trope that criminally hasn’t been written yet, etc.)

Tough one. LoK had such a large and active fandom I don't think there was much left uncovered, and the Willow fandom has managed to wring damn near miraculous amounts of fic out of 8 episodes so I'm definitely not in any uncharted territory on ships etc. I think it's more character nuances; there's some good overlap between Korra and Kit on being surface level brash and cocky but having a lot more depth to them.

🍇 Is there a particular scene/episode/book/etc that you want to just write a million fics about, over and over? Which one?

For LoK I still regret not doing an end of book 3/in between fic because we get hints of so much and it'd be fun to explore. Willow...huh, yeah, I definitely have a type, for a single canon bit I could have endless fun post Skellin/across the shattered sea, but I also really want to dig into all the implied before bits and map out where it could all go after.

Sadly I need to work and sleep so I'm probably not going to be able to write all of them!