#seems to be the same kind of metallic top in pic two as is seen in that video presumably used for projections

[unproduciblesmackdown]

asia kate dillon as achilles in iphigenia crash land falls on the neon shell that was once her heart (a rave fable) via theatre incognita and teatrotaller in 2012

[gotnofucks]

Protected

Paring: dark!Peter Parker x Reader

Summary: How were you to know who’s a monster, who’s a savior when they all hide behind a mask

Words: 4.7k

Warnings: violence, manipulation, dark themes, language, 18+ ONLY

A/N: Aged up Peter Parker (obviously). No smut in here, even I surprised myself.

MASTERLIST

+++++

You stared in the mirror, hands clammy as you tried to angle the phone right. The lightening was not perfect, and you twisted, trying to see if you’ll need to turn on the flash. Just as you thought you’d found your position, your phone chimed and you jumped. Clicking on the notification you opened your messages and found another text from the private number.

Be quick

Just above this was the text you’d received 20 minutes ago that had you running into the bathroom and taking your top and bra off within minutes.

Send me a pic of your right nipple

It had started a couple weeks ago with the kidnapping of your boyfriend, Sammy. You didn’t realize he had been kidnapped at first. He worked as a driver for a rich family and they took him away without preamble overnight for visits into next town. You only noticed something was strange when all your calls and texts remained unanswered for two days and you finally made a call to his employers to figure out if everything was okay. It was a shock to realize that the family was in town and hadn’t seen him for two days too. You had jumped into action, barely making sure you were appropriately dressed as you made your way to the police station to report a missing person’s report. You had parked down and were just about to open your door when the first message pinged. You almost didn’t check your phone, but the notification said private number, so you clicked on it. Your world came crashing down.

It was a picture of your boyfriend tied to a metal chair in what looked like a warehouse with blood caking his hairline and mouth gagged. Tears were streaming down his face and you covered your mouth in shock. Another message chimed, this one reading:

Don’t even think of going inside. Turn around and go back to your home

You had whipped your head around, looking out of the window with terrified eyes as you tried to see anyone who looked suspicious or was paying attention to you. Nothing struck you out of the ordinary and you were more determined than ever to go in and file a report when another message popped up.

Go home or I can send your precious lover’s head to you in a parcel

Maybe you should have gone inside, maybe you should have told someone. But when someone is holding a gun to the love of your life, you do what the fuck they say. Common sense doesn’t come into play. Last minute solutions don’t play in your mind. It was real life, not a movie. You drove back to your house in tears, hands trembling. Your boyfriend was not missing, he’d been taken by someone. The drive back home was a blur and you barely made it without hitting someone or yourself. You parked outside and entered your home, locking the door behind. The moment you were in, another text alert:

Good girl

You locked all the doors and windows, the curtains drawn shut. You sat down in the living you, finally finding the nerve to text back.

Who are you? What do you want?

You waited for a reply, your eyes darting around your house. Did the person have camera’s in your house or were you simply followed? Would they really hurt Sammy or was that an empty threat? Should you call his parents? Your parents? Your phone dinged and quickly swiped up to open the text.

I want you to send me picture of your little toe

What the fuck? This had to be some sort of a joke. You were shaking in fear and anger, your hand clutching the phone in a dead grip. You should have gone and made the complaint. It was dark outside now, but you’d go to the police station first thing tomorrow morning. To hell with this person, you will not be scared of them. You took a screenshot of the messages and made sure your house was secure before retiring to your room with a knife. Sleep came late and restless, your worry keeping you from having a sated sleep. Horrible scenarios ran across your mind, each worse than the last.

You woke up early and dressed up. You needed to be at the station as soon as possible, Sammy was in danger. Whoever had him seemed addled in the brain. You were just pouring your coffee in your travelling mug when the doorbell rang. Your heart beat in your throat, your body seizing up in terror. You got your knife from the kitchen, creeping to the door on all fours trying to make the least amount of noise as possible. You leaned up slightly to peep out the peephole and saw a delivery man. He looked normal enough, cranky from an early delivery. You cautiously opened the door a few inches, hiding the knife behind your back.

“Y/n Y/l/n?” He asked and you nodded. He held out a small parcel to you along with a form to sign. You opened the door a few more inches and quickly scribbled your name across the form, taking the parcel with tentative hands. The man walked away without a goodbye and you sighed. Not everyone was out there to get you.

You placed the parcel on the table. It held only the delivery receipt, no other marks on it. It was small, almost like a jewelry box. You looked at the time and thought to open it first. You didn’t wanna deal with sleep deprived officers who refuse to take you seriously at the station. Getting out you scissors you cut the brown paper off and opened the plain carboard box. Inside was a jewelry box like you had expected, but who would send this to you? There was no note and you opened the flap.

It fell out of your hands as you screamed, your hands rushing to your mouth in horror. The thing that had been perched inside like a ring rolled out and fell on the floor, resting at your feet. It was a little toe. A severed, human little toe. And if your hunch was right, you knew who it belonged to. Your phone chimed at that very moment and you swallowed back the bile in your throat when you swiped up.

Next time, listen. I have no trouble sending his head to you.

P.S. Drink that coffee, looks delicious. And be a good girl and forget about the police if you give a damn about your piece of shit boyfriend.

P.P.S I’ll like a pic of your pinky finger

You send him the pic with shaky hands, tears falling down your cheeks.

This is how it went for a few weeks, them asking for pictures of different body parts. Each with a threat of the same part being chopped off Sammy’s body if you don’t comply. Whoever they were, they didn’t call you and you couldn’t call them. You rarely texted, only asking if Sammy was okay and you’ll get vague texts in reply saying, ‘that depends on you’.

The pictures were seemingly innocent enough at first. Your fingers, your knee, your shoulder, hair braided, hair in a pony. But then they got dangerous. The inside of your things, your ass in a pink pair of panties, your nipples. You gave them what they wanted. As long as Sammy was okay, but you didn’t know how long you could continue this. Something had to be done

+++++

You were probably making a big mistake, but you had no option. Police was out of question, but they weren’t the police. Not entirely.

The kidnapper could for some reason follow you everywhere, even look inside your home though you had scoured every corner and found no cameras. You needed people more powerful and they were the only ones who could help. You know they didn’t have time for something this small as they dealt with world endangering events, but you had to try. You entered the Avengers Tower, making your way to the front desk. The lady sitting behind looked kind enough, greeting you politely.

“Hello, how can I help you?” She asked with a practiced smile and you nervously smiled back.

“I uh, I want to make a complaint.” You winced as you said that, your eyes darting around. The lady however gave you a sympathetic smile, slipping you a form to fill.

“You can fill this one, but it may take a while to get to them. They can be very busy” She said, and you nodded, taking the form and going to sit on a couch to fill it out. You gave all the necessary information, adding in that you had picture proof. You hoped it reached someone here who could help, if not the avengers then someone from Shield. You got up to submit it when you bumped into somebody, making them drop their papers along with yours.

“Oh, I am so sorry” you apologized, bending down to gather their stuff as well as yours. A hand reached out to help and you looked up in the eyes of Sam Wilson. You blinked and then stammered another apology that he waved away. He got the papers from your hand, looking over and found your form.

“This yours miss?” He asked as he looked over the paper, his brow furrowing as he read on. You nodded and bit your lip. He turned it over and then looked back at you. “Do you have the picture evidence?” He asked tapping the paper and you nodded quickly. You showed him your phone, with the messages and pictures. He frowned, his handsome face pinched.

“Can you help me? They sent me his severed toe. For all I know he isn’t even alive now.” You croaked and Sam looked at you with kind eyes.

“Y/n, isn’t it?” He asked and you nodded. “Well, this looked very creepy and bad. I’ll take it up to the team okay? See if someone can spare sometime on it. Here, take my card. Call me if they approach you again.”

You almost sobbed with relief, glad that something seemingly good finally happened. You thanked him and pocketed his card, hoping you made the right call. It didn’t matter now anyway. You were in deep. Either the kidnappers find out and threaten you, possibly killing Sammy. Or they piss their pants and leave you the hell alone. You just wanted this to be over.

You returned to your flat with a lighter heart, having a full dinner after ages. You had the avengers on your case. The avengers. The guys who took down aliens and planet-wiping asshats. They will put an end to this, you were sure. You slept better that night too, heinous dreams not plaguing you for a change.

You went to work early that day. Usually your shift at the local clinic didn’t start until an hour later, but you were feeling hopeful. Helping people through the day by stitching their wounds or giving a kid a cartoon bandage took your mind off things. It was a smooth day, almost normal. No more texts from the kidnapper today and if Sammy were home, things would be perfect. You were only just leaving when another person walked in your station, a cut bleeding over their lip. You recognized the boy and gave him a reproachful look.

“Peter, again?” You groaned, your hands automatically reaching for the antiseptic wipes. He came in once every few weeks, battered from one thing or another. You were sure some gang was beating him up, but he never confided. He was your age, studying some cool physics stuff while you nursed here. He was a very regular patient.

“Hey Y/n, can you patch me up. Again.” He said, ruffling his hair awkwardly. You tended to him, being careful not to hurt him even though he barely flinched. He had tremendous pain tolerance and you didn’t wanna know how he built it up. He was a great guy, pretty cool and respectful.

“There you go, all done. Maybe listen to me for once and don’t do whatever it is you do.” You advised, and he sent you a bashful grin that you knew meant your words went in one ear and out of the other.

“Thanks. You look good today, happier. Something good happen?” He asked and you smiled a little.

“I think so. I’ll get to know soon enough. You look after yourself, mkay?” You say and pack up your stuff. You saw him lingering, feet shuffling around so you raised an eyebrow.

“Um, I was wondering if you’d wanna go out for a coffee or something?” He asked and now it was your turn to shuffle uneasily.

“Peter, I’m really flattered. But I’m in a relationship already.” You told him and saw him frown.

“You have a boyfriend?” He asked confused and you nodded. Sammy was still your boyfriend, regardless of everything. You weren’t going to go around dating behind his back. He will come home. You were sure he will. Peter’s face fell and before you could say something he nodded and left. You felt horrible, but you hoped he will come around.

You got a call from Sam right before you went to sleep.

“Hey, did the kidnappers contact you?” He asked and you said no. He hummed and spoke to someone in the background. “Can you come over to the tower tomorrow? We’ll have a look at your phone, try and track the number?”

You agreed to meet him there at noon and a smile spread on your face. Things seemed to be progressing. Maybe the kidnapper was too scared of the avengers to make any move. You hoped you’ll get Sammy back soon.

You reached the tower with ten minutes to spare. You had taken trouble dressing up today as you didn’t know if you’ll meet more avengers. It was a blessing to have them and you prayed things will turn out okay. Sam met you in the lobby, waving at you.

“Hey, come on up. We’ve got a tech team waiting” He said, and you followed him to the elevator. It seemed to rise up and up, and you got nervous. You were glad you hadn’t deleted anything from your phone but worried what they will say about it. You had after all sent nude pics to a stranger.

“Hey, don’t worry. It’s a safe space.” Sam promised you and you tried to force a smile.

You exited with him in what looked like a huge office space, with cabins and sleek furniture everywhere. He led you to the cabin at the end and held the door for you to enter. You took a step inside and almost stopped short. When Sam said tech team you didn’t know it would mean Black Widow and Tony Stark.

“Come on in, we don’t bite.” Tony teased you, waving you forward and you stumbled. They both shook your hands and offered you a seat where you sat gobsmacked. You kinda sat like a goldfish until manners and mobility returned and you greeted them with a high pitch hello.

“Hey kid, you don’t need to worry. We got a free day today and Wilson said a young lady needed saving. Romanoff loves the ladies you know.” Tony winked and Nat threw a stapler at him that he caught. You nervously smiled and then they got to business. You explained everything to them, showing them the texts and pictures.

“Hmm, it’s a private number. Let’s see if we can do something about it.” Nat said and connected your phone to her laptop, clattering away on the keys. As she did, her brows drew together and she huffed. “Oh, this one is good. Not good enough for me though.”

She kept at it for a few minutes and when her device beeped her mouth parted a little. She moved her head away and blinked before passing the laptop to Tony who looked baffled. He started his own clattering and you tensed. The laptop beeped again and just then the door opened. You looked up to see…a man wearing the spiderman mask.

“Hey kid, you know you can take that thing off in here.” Sam said.

“I’m good. I need to leave soon anyway.” The voice behind the mask said and it almost sounded familiar. He looked at you and waved and you returned the gesture. Of course, Spiderman’s identity was a secret. You were probably the reason he was wearing the mask in the first place.

“This doesn’t seem right.” Tony mused and he and Nat exchanged a look.

“What is it?” You asked and Sam echoed your question.

“Well, the signals of the phone trace back to this tower.” Tony answered and he seemed as bewildered as you.

“What? Like a shield agent? That would explain how they could spy on her without too much trouble.” Sam mused.

“You mind if I see Mr. Stark?” Spiderman asked and Tony passed the laptop to him, leaning back in his seat.

“I’ll have Friday run a scan all over the tower. We’ll have an identity soon. But damn, this is disturbing.” Tony said and you felt anticipation rise in you. You’ll have the name of the kidnapper soon, and after that Sammy can be home.

“Uh, Mr. Stark, something is going on here. I – I swear I didn’t do anything.” Spiderman called out in a panicked voice and Tony and Nat crowed around him.

“What the fuck? How did this happen?” Nat scowled, her face almost buried in the screen as Tony did whatever he did there. “This…this can’t just happen. Tony!”

They looked up at you genuinely confused as you stared back with wide eyes.

“It seems like someone just deleted all the data from the number, including the trace. That shouldn’t have been possible.” Nat explained and you willed your tears away. All the proof you had gathered was lost, including the only lead you’d had for months.

“Hey kid, don’t cry. We’ve got you, okay. We know its someone from inside the tower. We’ll keep a watch.” Tony assured you, patting your shoulder in a fatherly way. You sniffled and shifted in your seat, all the hopelessness coming back.

“I think someone should keep a watch with her.” Nat suggested. “Whoever they are, we know they are good. Must be some top shield agent. A stakeout at her place, that should clear shit up.”

The others nodded and you cringed. You didn’t want to trouble them or have your privacy invaded this way, but if that was what it took to get Sammy back, you’ll be okay with it. So, you agreed.

“I’ll see if Wanda is free.” Sam suggested when Spiderman stood up and waved goodbye.

“Now wait here Wilson, we got our friendly neighborhood hero right here. Kid, you look after her. Your people skills are depressing and maybe you’ll cheer up a bit.” Tony said and you saw Spiderman wring out his hands.

“Mr. Stark, I’ve got college.”

“She’s got work.” Tony looked at you and you nodded. “See it will be perfect. Go on, pack an overnight.”

You gave out your address and went back home, aggressively cleaning before Spiderman arrived. You felt kinda bad for him since you knew he didn’t wanna be here, but well, job’s a job. He arrived just as you’d finished shoving your stuff under the bed and you opened the door to him still wearing the mask.

“Hey, make yourself at home. I’d give you a tour but its only one room, bathroom and kitchen.” You said awkwardly, his red face looking around.

“It’s chill. I’ll make my bed on the couch. You don’t need to worry. I’ll keep you safe.” He promised. His voice wasn’t very rough, and you thought he must be somewhere around your age.

“You can uh, take your mask off if you wanna. I swear I won’t tell anyone” You promised but he shook his head.

“I’m fine. Please, don’t bother. Go about your day as usual. I’ll make myself scarce.” He set his bag on the coffee table and took out his books. Some complicated physics stuff. Well, Tony Stark wouldn’t just have a stupid rookie in his team.

You and Spiderman (Seriously, you can just call me Erek Trapper) had a simple dinner. You knew he’d given you a fake name, probably just an anagram but you didn’t push him. You valued your privacy too. He wasn’t too much trouble, always polite and never in your way. Only once you found him in your doorway watching you sleep, but he very embarrassedly told you that he needed an extra pillow to sleep. You gave him one after which he didn’t appear again.

He stayed for a week before shit happened. You were alone at home when your phone buzzed. “Erek” was still not back from his classes and you were making dinner. You picked up your phone and almost dropped it in fright. A private number.

Such a silly dumb girl you are.

Another buzz

You’re not good at taking orders, are you? We’re gonna work on that

Buzz

And here I thought you cared about this pathetic boy

Buzz

I should have really sent you his whole leg instead of the toe

Buzz

Look in your kitchen drawer

You turned around, sweat running down your neck and tremors hit you as you pulled out your drawer. You screamed, bloody fingernails inside a cup greeting you. You stumbled back and your windows started rattling all at once. You sat huddled in the kitchen, screaming with your head between your legs as knocks echoed around your apartment, multiple doors and windows banging. You sniffed and suddenly looked across the hall where a fire burned in your room.

“No!” You couldn’t get up, frozen in shock. The doors kept banging, smoke filling the house and your lungs, blurring your vision. Your throat was hoarse and dry and you coughed, trying and failing to stand up with support of the counter. You knocked against the drawer, the cup of nails tumbling down over you making you flail and howl.

You crawled away on shaky feet, feeling more exhausted than ever. Your lungs burned and you coughed, losing feeling of your body. The door was banging louder than ever and you shut your ears, tears making their way down your face.

It opened with a bang, a man nearly flying inside and to your side. Cool hands gripped your face and tapped your cheeks, urging you to keep your eyes open. You were in his arms, being lifted outside from your home.

“Mr. Stark, no, I got there in time. Yes sir. Taking her with me. Bring her to the tower? Yes sir. She’s okay – I don’t know. Maybe. Yes. Gonna be swinging with her.” He spoke to someone.

Air rushed against you and you barely opened your eyes before shutting them again. You were flying from building to building, only one arm around you keeping you safe. You hugged him tight, pressing your face into his neck.

“We’re almost there, Y/n. Damn it! I knew I should have controlled the drugs.”

You didn’t understand what he said and as the swinging motion grew frantic, your eyes shut.

+++++

Beeping of a machine greeted you and your eyes opened to the view of a hospital room. A tube was in your arm, a tv playing softly in the background. Your tongue felt heavy in your mouth and as your memories flooded you, you stood up. The beeping increased and a door opened to let in a man in middle age, with soft salt and pepper curls.

“Hey hey, its alright. You’re safe. You need to lay down.” He said. He looked so familiar and your eyes widened as you recognized him as Dr. Bruce Banner.

“I – what happened?” You asked. Before he could answer, Spiderman walked in and took the seat by your bed.

“I’ll let you guys talk. I’m going to be with Tony, Pete. Call me if you need something. And for god’s sake, take this goddamn mask off.” Bruce chided and left.

You looked at Spiderman who slowly took off his mask and your mouth dropped open. These brown eyes and hair.

“Peter?” You gasped and he nodded, abashed.

“I’m sorry I had to hide like this. I was going to let you know.” He explained. His eyes widened like he really really wanted you to understand.

“You’re Spiderman? So that’s where you got all those cuts from” You said, and he nodded. You raked a hand through your hair and winced when they tangled in some knots. “Thank you, Peter, for saving me. The fire, I – I don’t know what happened.”

Peter took your hands in his and placed a kiss on your knuckles. You frowned, trying to take your hand away but he resisted.

“Of course, I saved you. Sammy would have killed you otherwise.” He remarked and you started.

“Sammy? He’s here?” You almost jumped out the bed and Peter pushed down on your shoulder.

“Y/n, you don’t understand. Sammy was the kidnapper. He…he faked it.”

Peter was speaking but not making any sense. Why the hell would Sammy do that? You saw his bloodied pictures, you saw his torn off toe and fingernails.

“You’re mistaken.” You whisper but Peter shook his head.

“No, of course you’ll believe that. Sammy worked as a temp here last year. He got into Shield’s database and has been using that information to torture you. He faked it darling.” Peter said and pressed another kiss on your hand.

“That’s a lie. He never worked here! He was working for a family downtown!” You shouted and Peter nodded at you.

“Yes, but Friday’s data can be manipulated, and people paid off. They will never testify to knowing him.”

It took you a ridiculously long time to come to terms with what Peter said. His fingers were caressing up and down your arm, lips pressing soft kisses on your palm and wrist. You tried to wiggle it free, but he squeezed hard and you cried out.

“Don’t struggle, I don’t wanna hurt you anymore. I almost added too much hallucinogen to the smoke. You really scared me baby. Don’t do that again.” He scolded you and your eyes brimmed with tears. He wiped them away, cupping your cheek and you turned your face away.

“You?”

Peter nodded, his other hand playing with your hair.

“You were always so sweet Y/n. So nice to me, never asking too many questions. Being kind to me when I was beaten up. I have wanted you for months but then you kept talking to your friends about Sammy and it made me so sad. So, I took him away, kidnapped him. I tried to give you a closure, stage it properly. I would have killed him and sent you a picture, consoled you after his death. I asked you out, remember, and you still turned me down. But then you came here, to Mr. Stark. That day I barely managed to corrupt the filed on his laptop, they were so close to finding me. And well, I didn’t even have to manipulate him into sending me at your place. That worked out so smooth. Now, all the evidence is in play. Sammy will be indicted for conspiracy and attempt to murder. And you and me, we can be together.”

You opened your mouth to shout and his hand was promptly there, blocking all sound.

“Shh, don’t baby. I know you’re scared. I know. But Sammy is still with me. I can do anything. Right now, I’ve only cut off a toe and his nails. He’s still breathing. I think he’ll have a way better life in prison than in a grave, yeah?”

Peter leaned down and kissed your tears away, and when he removed his hands only sobs escaped your mouth. He cupped your face, looking so kind you doubted if whatever he said actually happened.

“No one will come between us. You’ll be mine and I’ll be yours.”

He pressed his lips to yours and you closed your eyes in surrender.

+++++

Taglist: @shooting-star-love @what-is-your-wish @littlegasps

Taglist is open 

[flufffysocks]

let's talk about andi mack's worldbuilding

sorry this took forever to make! i've been pretty busy with school stuff and i kind of lost my inspiration for a bit, but i ultimately really enjoyed writing it! i wish i could've included more pics (tumblr has a max of 10 per post), and it kinda turned from less of a mini analysis to more of an extremely long rant... but i hope it's still a fun read!

i've been rewatching the show over the past few weeks (thanks again to @disneymack for the link!), and i’ve been noticing a lot that i never did the first time around. this is really the first time i’ve watched the show from start to finish since it aired, and it honestly feels so different this time - probably a combination of the fact that i’m not as focused on plot and can appreciate the show as a whole, and also that the fandom is much, much smaller now, so there’s a lot less noise. so the way i’m consuming this show feels super different than it did the first time, but the show itself doesn’t - it’s just as warm and comforting to me as it was the first time around, if not more so.

i think a lot of that can be attributed to andi mack’s “worldbuilding”. i’m not quite sure that this is the right word in this context, to be honest, because i mostly see it used in reference to fantasy and sci-fi universes, but it just sort of feels right to me for andi mack, because you can really tell how much love and care went into constructing this universe. for clarity, worldbuilding is “the process of creating an imaginary world” in its simplest sense. there’s two main types: hard worldbuilding, which involves inventing entire universes, languages, people, cultures, places, foods, etc. from scratch (think “lord of the rings” or “dune”), and soft worldbuilding, in which the creators don’t explicitly state or explain much about the fictional universe, but rather let it’s nature reveal itself as the story progresses (think studio ghibli films). andi mack to me falls in the soft worldbuilding category. even though it takes place in a realistic fiction universe, there’s a lot of aspects to it that are inexplicably novel in really subtle ways.

so watching the show now, i’ve noticed that the worldbuilding comes primarily from two things - setting and props, and oftentimes the both of them in tandem (because a big part of setting in filmmaking does depend on the props placed in it!).

one of the most obvious examples is the spoon. it really is a sort of quintessential, tropic setting in that it's the main gang's "spot", which automatically gives it a warm and homey feel to it. and its set design only amplifies this:

the choice to make it a very traditional 50s-style diner creates a very nostalgic, retro feel to it, which is something that's really consistent throughout the show, as you'll see. from the round stools at the bar, to the booths, to the staff uniforms, this is very obvious. the thing that i found especially interesting about it though is the choice of color. the typical 50s diner is outfitted with metallic surfaces and red accented furnishings, but the spoon is very distinctly not this.

instead, it's dressed in vibrant teal and orange, giving it a very fresh and modern take on a classic look. so it still maintains that feeling of being funky and retro, but that doesn't retract from the fact that the show is set distinctly in modern times.

of course, this could just be a one-off quirky set piece, but this idea of modernizing and novelizing "retro" things is a really common motif throughout the show. take red rooster records. i mean, it's a record shop - need i say more? it's obviously a very prominent store in shadyside, at least for the main characters, but there's no apparent reason why it is (until season 2 when bowie starts working there, and jonah starts performing there). a lot of the time, though, it functions solely as a record shop. vinyl obviously isn't the most practical or convenient way of listening to music, but it's had its resurgence in pop culture even in the real world, mostly due to its aesthetic value, so it's safe to say that it serves the same purpose in the andi mack universe.

the fringe seems to be nostalgic of a different era, specifically the Y2K/early 2000s period (because it's meant to be bex's territory and symbolic of who she used to be, and its later transformation into cloud 10 is representative of her character arc, but that's beside the point). to be honest, exactly what this store was supposed to be always confused me. it was kind of a combination party store/clothing store/makeup store/beauty parlor? i think that's sort of the point of it though, it's supposed to feel very grunge-y and chaotic (within the confines of a relatively mellow-toned show, of course), and it's supposed to act as a sort of treasure chest of little curios that both make the place interesting and allow the characters to interact with it.

and, of course, there's andi shack. this is really the cherry on top of all of andi mack's sets, just because it's so distinctly andi. it serves such amazing narrative purpose for her (ex. the storyline where cece and ham were going to move - i really loved this because it highlights its place in the andi mack universe so well, and i'm a sucker for the paper cranes shot + i'm still salty that sadie's cranes didn't make it into the finale) and it's the perfect reflection of andi's character development because of how dynamic it is (the crafts and art supplies can get moved around or switched out, and there's always new creations visible).

going back to the nostalgia motif though, the "shack" aspect of it always struck me as very treehouse-like. personally, whenever i think of treehouses, there's this very golden sheen of childhood about it, if that makes sense. i've always seen treehouses in media as a sort of shelter for characters' youthful innocence and idealistic memories. for example, the episode "up a tree" from good luck charlie, the episode "treehouse" from modern family, and "to all the boys 2" all use a treehouse setting as a device to explore the character's desire to hold onto their perfect image of their childhood (side note: this exact theme is actually explored in andi mack in the episode "perfect day 2.0"!). andi shack is no exception to this, but it harnesses this childhood idealism in the same way that it captures the nostalgia of the 50s in the spoon, or the early 2000s in the fringe. it's not some image of a distant past being reflected through that setting; it's very present, and very alive, because it reflects andi as she is in the given moment.

some honorable mentions of more one-off settings include the ferris wheel (from "the snorpion"), the alley art gallery (from "a walker to remember"), SAVA, the color factory (from "it's a dilemna"), and my personal favorite, the cake shop (from "that syncing feeling").

[every time i watch this episode i want to eat those cakes so bad]

these settings have less of a distinctly nostalgic feel (especially the color factory, which is a very late 2010s, instagram era setting), but they all definitely have an aura of perfection about them. andi mack is all about bright, colorful visuals, and these settings really play to that, making the andi mack universe seem really fun and inviting, and frankly very instagrammable (literally so, when it comes to the color factory!).

props, on the other hand, are probably a much less obvious tool of worldbuilding. they definitely take up less space in the frame and are generally not as noticeable (i'm sure i'll have missed a bunch that will be great examples, but i'm kind of coming up with all of this off the top of my head), but they really tie everything together.

for example, bex's box, bex's polaroid, and the old tv at the mack apartment (the tv is usually only visible in the periphery of some shots, so you might not catch it at first glance) all complement that very retro aesthetic established through the settings (especially the polaroid and the tv, because there's really no good reason that the characters would otherwise be using these).

besides this, andi's artistic nature provides the perfect excuse for plenty of colorful, crafty props to amplify the visuals and the tone. obviously, as i discussed before, andi shack is the best example of this because it's filled with interesting props. but you also see bits of andi's (and other people's) crafts popping up throughout the show (ex. the tape on the fridge in the mack apartment, andi's and libby's headbands in "the new girls", walker's shoes, andi's phone case, and of course, the bracelet). not only does doing this really solidify this talent as an essential tenet of andi's character, but it also just makes the entirety of shadyside feel like an extension of andi shack. the whole town is a canvas for her crafts (or art, depending on how you want to look at it. i say it's both), and it immensely adds to shadyside's idealism. because who wouldn't want to live in a world made of andi mack's creations?

and, while it's not exactly a prop, the characters' wardrobe is undoubtedly a major influence on the show's worldbuilding. true to it's nature as a disney channel show, all of the characters are always dressed in exceptionally curated outfits of whatever the current trends are, making the show that much more visually appealing. i won't elaborate too much on this, because i could honestly write a whole other analysis on andi mack's fashion (my favorites are andi's and bex's outfits! and kudos to the costume designer(s) for creating such wonderful and in-character wardrobes!). but, i think it's a really really important aspect of how the show's universe is perceived, so it had to be touched upon.

[^ some of my favorite outfits from the show! i am so obsessed with andi's jacket in the finale, and i aspire to be at bex's level of being a leather jacket bisexual]

and lastly, phones. this is a bit of an interesting case (pun intended), because the way they're used fluctuates a bit throughout the show, but i definitely noticed that at least in the first season terri minsky tried to avoid using them altogether. these efforts at distancing from modern tech really grounds the show in it's idealist, nostalgia-heavy roots, so even when the characters start using their phones more later in the show, they don't alter the viewer's impression of the andi mack universe very much.

so, what does all of this have to do with worldbuilding? in andi mack's case, because it's set in a realistic universe and not a fantasy one, a lot of what sets it apart from the real world comes down to tone. because, as much as this world is based on our own, it really does feel separate from it, like an alternate reality that's just slightly more perfect than ours, which makes all the difference. it's the idealism in color and composition in andi mack's settings that makes it so unmistakably andi mack. even the weather is always sunny and perfect (which is incredibly ironic because the town is called shadyside - yes, i am very proud of that observation).

the andi mack universe resides somewhere in this perfect medium that makes it feel like a small town in the middle of nowhere (almost like hill valley in 1955 from "back to the future"), but at the same time like an enclave within a big city (because of its proximity to so many modern, unique, and honestly very classy looking establishments). it is, essentially, an unattainable dream land that tricks you into believing it is attainable because it's just real enough.

all this to say, andi mack does an amazing job of creating of polished, perfect world for its characters. this is pretty common among disney channel and nickelodeon shows, but because most other shows tend to be filmed in a studio with three-wall sets, andi mack is really set apart from them in that it automatically feels more real and tangible. it has its quintessential recurring locations, but it has far more of them (most disney/nick shows usually only have 3-4 recurring settings), and it has a lot more one-off locations. it's also a lot more considerate when it comes to its props, so rather than the show just looking garish and aggressively trendy, it has a distinctive style that's actually appropriate to the characters and the story. overall this creates the effect of expanding the universe, making shadyside feel like it really is a part of a wider world, rather than an artificial bubble. it's idealism is, first and foremost, grounded in reality, and that provides a basis for its brilliant, creative, and relatable storytelling.

tl;dr: andi mack's sets and props give it a very retro and nostalgic tone which makes its whole universe seem super perfect and i want to live there so bad!!

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Of Prices Paid

This is kind of long, so maybe check it out on ao3? 

There is a lot to get used to in this immortality business, Nile thinks, as Joe guns the engine and peals away from the lab. No matter how much her brain screams at her to move on, Nile cannot tear her eyes away from the twisted hunk of metal that had been Merrick’s car. Not until Joe turns a corner and it disappears from view. Inside their vehicle, the Guard settles into silence, and at first Nile is grateful for it. No one is trying to gauge how she feels when she is still in shock. No one is trying to debrief her when she can still hear the wind whistling in her ears, when she can still remember the way her skull crawled underneath her skin to piece itself back together.

Nile feels too good for someone that had just rearranged her skeleton, and it seems wrong, in a way, to be sitting here feeling no pain, no exhaustion, no fear. The quiet in the car has a complexity to it Nile can’t quite untangle. It’s woven like a tapestry made of guilt, which roils off Booker like thunder, spun with anger that Nile can feel in the way Nicky sits, his shoulders tense, his hands balled in fists. But it’s like a mirage in the desert, holding its form until it’s looked at up close. When Nile first met the Guard they had felt like a lie, like a fantasy or a dream. She hadn’t understood, hadn’t felt the years they had lived until now. Until she was sitting in this silence; this tired, expansive, comfortable silence. Nile is not used to this kind of prolonged stagnation, the lack of desire to fill empty time with entertainment. But these people beside her are ancient and do not notice they pass full hours just sitting in this car, aware of one another and completely content in that.

Nile distracts herself from the thoughts of blood, the sound of the gunshots, and the ghost of pain that crash around in her head by watching the others. She watches Nicky’s attention flicker between the light in Joe’s curls and the movement of his shoulder, takes note of the small smile that turns Nicky’s lip when he looks in the rearview mirror and finds Joe’s eyes meeting his. Nile watches Booker playing with his rings, his fingers fumbling and trembling. Notices he keeps his sunglasses on even as the sunlight starts to dip below the horizon. Nile inspects the way Andy’s jaw is set, watches her close her eyes, and hears how deliberately she breathes. Nile sees Andy flinch when Joe takes her hand, sees her shoulder slump a little when he turns his head for just a moment, and gives a gentle squeeze. Sees the smile spread briefly across Andy’s face as she nods softly and responds in kind. Nile watches Joe press a soft kiss to Andy’s knuckles, pat the top of her hand, and return his grip to the gear shift.

Nile stretches, uncomfortable and itchy with the blood still caked against her skin. They’d been driving for hours by this point in unfamiliar terrain. She feels a hand press quickly, tentatively against her elbow, and meets Nicky’s gaze. It’s piercing, studious, full of questions, and Nile blinks away the stinging in her eyes. It has been a long time since Nile cried, especially in front of others, and she was not about to start today, in a car full of people she barely knew. Nicolo softens, opens his arms a little in an offer Nile takes. She leans against his side, lets him hold her weight; Nicky wraps an arm around her and kisses the top of her head like her father used to. “We’re almost there,” he says, and Nile is equal parts surprised and not to find the man she read as the most quiet and contemplative of the group is the one to finally break the silence.

“Good,” Nile replies “Cause I’ve had to pee for about an hour now and I was starting to get worried,” The car is filled with laughter like fireworks, explosive but brief. Nile notices how Joe laughs with his whole body, how Andy chuckles under her breath, a timid thing. She sees that Nicky smiles and Booker doesn’t.  

“It’s not another mine is it?” Nile asks as she sits back up, Nicolo returning his arm to his side. “Because I don’t know about ya’ll but I need a stiff drink, a soft bed, and a shower,”

“I can solve the drink problem,” Booker pulls his flask out of his jacket pocket, wiggles it in Nile’s direction. Nile takes a swig, tries to stifle a cough as the whiskey hits her tongue.

“No,” Andy says, biting back a smile “It’s not a mine,”

Ten minutes later, Joe turns down a dirt road. The cottage that sits at the end of the driveway looks straight out of a storybook. It’s roof thatched and slanting, the garden overgrown, Nile half expects a witch to pop out of the front door and welcome them in. Booker is the first out of the car, rushing towards the building before Joe has even finished parking.

“Guess he had to pee too,” Joe remarks bitterly as he jods to the side of the car to open the door for Nile and Nicky, offering his hand to help them stand.

“Such a gentleman,” Nicky says as he untangles himself from the middle seat, takes Joe’s hand,  and pulls him in for a quick kiss. Their fingers are the last thing to part, Nile notices, as Joe heads towards the passenger seat to open Andy’s door. Nicky moves towards the trunk to grab their go-bags and carry them into the house.

“Joe,” Andy scoffs light-heartedly when Joe dips into a bow and extends his hand. Nile pretends not to notice how long it takes Andy to get out of the car, the way her face twists and her breath catches in her throat. Whatever weight had been lifted upon their arrival, upon the promise of sleep comes crashing back down.

“You okay, boss?” Joe asks, but the joy Nile usually recognizes in his voice is not there.

“Yes,” Andy pats his cheek twice with a smile that does not reach her eyes. “Just need to stretch my legs a bit. I thought when we invented cars they’d eliminate some of the more unpleasant aspects of riding horseback. But as it turns out, sitting in the same position for extended periods of time makes my joints stiff whether I’m in stirrups or in shotgun,” Nile knows just as well as Joe that Andy’s giving a bullshit excuse, but she understands Andy’s need for strength in this. “Why don’t you give Nile the tour? I’ll check the perimeter,”

Joe nods and Nile watches the frown fall across his lips as soon as Andy turns away.

“She’s good,” Nile cannot stop herself from saying. “She’ll be fine,”

Joe’s shoulders fold, his hands massage his neck, and when he turns to look at Nile, his eyes shining, she is struck for the first time by how easily, how readily these people choose kindness and honesty. She’s seen the way they tear through a siege, the ruthlessness and the precision of their actions. Yet when Joe looks at her, a man she’s only known for two days, a man she watched a few hours before pop Keane’s spine out of his neck, he seems so worn, so weary, so...vulnerable. So separate from his capabilities in battle.

“You did good today,” Joe kicks the dirt beneath his feet, sending a couple rocks scattering in different directions. “Thank you for everything. I don’t know how we would have gotten ourselves out of that one if you hadn’t been there,”

Nile smiles “All I did was untie Andy and jump out a window,”

“You and I both know that’s not true,” Joe holds the front door open, and Nile steps through into the bright, inviting warmth of the cottage. “You’ve done a lot for us, for Andy, already. I look forward to getting to know you better. You’re going to make one hell of an addition to the team,”

“Thank you, Joe,”

Joe grins “I’m always here if you want to talk. But for now, let me show you around,”

After a quick pit stop to the bathroom, Joe and Nile walk together through the cottage, and as she listens to Joe, Nile finds it a little easier to accept the new conditions of her life. She watches the way he gestures when he speaks, makes a mental note of all the little details he shares with her, the dates of when the cottage was built and what missions they’d stayed here for. The excitement Nile hears in his voice falters and then falls away all together when Nicky walks by, arms crossed and standing in front of the bathroom door, where the shower has been running for the past few minutes. Joe’s brow furrows and his eyes focus, trained on the back of Nicky’s head, hair matted with his own blood.

“Quel bastardo prenderà tutta l'acqua calda.” Nicky mutters.

Nile bites back a smile as she watches Joe unconsciously turn his body to face Nicky, struggling to find the words he needs to finish his conversation with her. Joe runs his thumb across the ridges of his ring and shakes out his hand.

“Go,” Nile says gently, nods her head towards Nicolo.

“Are you sure?”

“Joe,” Nile gives him a knowing look “Go get your man,”

Joe chuckles, squeezes Nile’s shoulder, and heads toward Nicky. Nile watches the two of them wrap their arms around each other and press their foreheads together, breathing each other in. The intimacy of the action makes Nile worry she’s impeding on their privacy so she pretends to focus on the painting in front of her. They speak to one another, chatting in languages that Nile doesn’t know until she hears Joe say bitterly:

“I’ll kill him,”

“Joe, please.” Nicky pulls away, cups Joe’s face in his hands “He doesn’t deserve to see your anger. He doesn’t deserve anything from you at all.”

“Nicky he-”

“I know what he did,” Nicky shuts the conversation down “He is our family and I love him, but for the time being he has no right to my life, or yours. Booker is young and foolish and desperate still, he does not understand the depth of what he’s done. We will figure out his penance and he will serve it, and then we can move on from this.”

“Nicolo-”

“Che cosa?”

Joe begins to say something, but shakes his head and instead says “Ti amo,”

“ uhibbuka aydan ”

Joe and Nicky separate at the sound of the front door opening. “Who let Booker shower first?” Andy asks, running her fingers through her hair with a sigh. She opens the door to the bathroom, and bends over to pick up Booker’s bloody clothing “Time’s up, Book,” she calls. Andy wordlessly hands Booker a towel, and Nile averts her eyes in embarrassment as Booker, water still running, steps out of the shower stark naked and wraps the towel around himself. Andy places the bundle of his clothes in his hand, “Burn whatever you can’t salvage,” Booker does not meet Andy’s eye, but he nods. “Joe, Nicky, anything you want Booker to get rid of?”

Joe and Nicky head towards the shower, tugging their shirts off over their heads and tossing them to Booker. Booker leaves Nile and Andy alone in the living room. An awkward silence begins to settle between them, but Nile has spent most of the day without words and she’s starting to get tired of it.

“So,” she begins, “How much you spend on clothes?”

Andy raises an eyebrow, “Depends. We buy shirts for our missions in bulk, because it’s cheaper. Dark clothes help with blood stains, because if we don’t get shot we can just...wash them. It’s not always like this,” Andy sighs, cracks her knuckles, and massages her shoulders.

“You know, that’s not the first time I’ve heard that this week,”  

Andy sighs “You arrived at a uniquely...complicated time and I apologize for that,”

“I don’t think you need to apologize for what happened today. I figured my life was gonna get complicated the minute I was pistol whipped in Afghanistan and woke up in the trunk of some white lady’s armored vehicle, driving through the desert.”

“Yeah, can’t say after all these years that I’m the subtle type,”

“No shit.” Nile smiles, picks dust from under her fingernails. “Were you friends with Heinsberg or something?”

Andy’s eyes are bright and her grin energetic and genuine in a way Nile hadn’t Andy was still capable of. “No, I just likes to sow chaos,”

They chat for a few minutes about nothing in particular. Nile asks about the sculptures on the table, Andy asks about her friends back in Afghanistan. Nile is struck by how natural it seems for her to exist in this space. Andy seems more relaxed than she has in days, Nile can see it in the way she stands, the ease at which conversation flows. The sound of the shower quiets, and the door to the bathroom opens.

“Nile, would you like to go next?” Nicky asks.

“Sure,”

“We left a towel in there for you,” Joe adds.

“Thanks,”

There is a sound of a door opening and closing, and all eyes in the room turn to look at Booker. “I brought you some clothes,” he hands the pile to Nile, and one to Andy, and for a moment Nile cannot help but think that he looks small.

“Joe and I are going to change, and I’ll have dinner started by the time you’re done,” Nicky says, his back to Booker.

Nile nods and closes the door, wipes the steam clinging to the bathroom mirror away, and strips herself down. She takes a moment to look at herself, touches the blood caked to the side of her head, runs a finger down her arm where her bone had been sticking out just a few days before. She looks at her foot, no evidence of an entry or exit wound from the bullet she’d shot into it a few hours ago. She presses a hand to her neck, traces a line down the carotid. The first wound that should have killed her and no scar to prove it. She forces herself to think about something else, singing songs in her head to drive off the existential crisis she can feel brewing. Just a few hours ago she had jumped from 15 stories, felt the blood rush to her head, felt the pain shudder through her body like lightning as a car bent itself beneath her. She had taken lives, and in doing so committed herself to an eternity of slaughter.

She turns the shower on, waits for it to run warm. Within a minute she can hear the muffled sounds of shouting, an argument she wouldn’t have been able to understand even if she had wanted to. She sticks her head beneath the stream, watches as the water turns pink beneath her feet. She massages shampoo into each cornrow, making a mental note to pick up some supplies the next time they were anywhere near civilization. This bathroom was not stocked with her hair texture or skin type in mind. She scrubs herself down with the washcloth they had left her by the sink. Wonders to herself as she hangs the cloth up to dry how many gallons of bleach the Guard must go through after missions. Free of blood, Nile conditions her hair, turns off the shower, and pats herself dry. She finds no moisturizers, no lotions, no oils or gels in the bathroom cabinets, slips into the clothing Booker has given her, and steps into the living room.

“You could have just volunteered yourself,” Joe is standing in the kitchen when Nile returns. “There was absolutely no need to sell us all out,”

“I wasn’t trying to sell you out,” Booker exclaims, and Nile realizes there are advantages to the lack of questioning she’s been subjected to. Mostly that she hasn’t had time to tell anyone she grew up speaking French. “If he could get your DNA then it’s possible he could have figured out a way to-”

“Sebastian,” Andy sighs “stop,”

It is a testament to her command, the respect and reverence these old friends have for one another that Andy need not raise her voice to be heard over shouting. Booker deflates, unscrews the top of his flask and takes a swig “Oh. No need to stop on my account.” Nile’s voice fills the sudden silence “I can hang out somewhere else. I was just looking for a plastic bag. I’ve got conditioner in that has to sit for twenty minutes and need to wrap my head,”

“I’m not. You’re a member of this team now, Nile,” Andy responds, “You should be a part of every conversation that we have. I’m just...tired, and hungry, and covered in blood, I want to shower, and honestly, I don’t care what Booker has to say about his choices right this very minute. I think we should just eat dinner and pick this particular conversation up in the morning,”

“Sure, boss,” Booker and Joe speak together, and Nile watches Nicky whisper low to Joe, slip something into his hand, and push him out of the kitchen. He wipes his fingers on the hand towel sitting on his shoulder, and stirs whatever canned good he’d put on the stove to warm.

“Here’s that bag,” Joe places it gently on her head, it feels familiar, familial in a way that almost knocks Nile off her feet with homesickness.

“Thanks,”

“Okay, I’m going to get cleaned up,” Andy inches towards the bathroom. “Nicky and Joe, finish cooking and set the table. Booker, get the rooms ready. Nile, put your feet up, watch some TV, decompress a little, you’ve earned it,”

Before she can fully process the request, Nile finds herself alone in the foyer. While she’s searching for the remote, Nile realizes that the shower has not started up. She knocks softly on the bathroom door and looks over her shoulder to make sure no one else is paying attention. Nicky and Joe are bickering with one another about the addition of salt to the dish they are preparing, and Booker is nowhere to be seen so she asks a question.

“Andy, you okay in there?”

It takes a moment for her to respond, “I’m fine,” a comment she punctuates with a sharp inhale of breath.

“You sure about that?” Nile pries “Do you wanna give me your dirty laundry?”

“I’ll take care of it,” Andy replies, which she follows rather quickly with a quiet “fuck,”

“Andy, do you need help?”

“I–” Andy stops herself “No,”

Nile doesn’t believe her. “Andy, I know everything hurts. I know you’re worried about what we’re all going to think, but let me make it clear. I don’t care, I don’t pity you, and I won’t judge. I’ve been immortal for like...four days. If you’re bleeding or bruised I’m not gonna freak or feel bad about it. I’d honestly be more creeped out if you were completely fine.” Nile puts a hand on the doorknob and lowers her voice. “It just, sounds like you need help, and there is no point in causing yourself potential harm for the sake of appearances,”

The door opens and Andy drags Nile into the bathroom, closing the door quickly behind them. “I just don’t want the guys to worry.” Andy says.

“I know,”

“I kind of wish Booker had just killed me with that gunshot.” Andy winces as she tries to remove her shirt. Nile helps Andy untangle her arms from the sleeves, tosses the shirt onto the floor. “This whole mortality thing is kind of a pain in the ass.”

“Sounds like a you problem,” Nile teases.

Andy smirks “You’re so kind,”

“I’m sorry...did you want sympathy?” she asks, Andy kicks off her shoes and her pants, grabbing Nile’s arm to steady herself.

“No,” Andy laughs “No I did not,”

“I think we should get that looked at,” Nile moves on, pointing to the bandage on Andy’s abdomen, soaked with blood. “Looks like you re-opened the bullet wound.”

“I’m not going to the hospital,”

“Okay well, let’s just get the blood off of you first, and go from there. I feel like we should try not to get it wet though.”

“Fine, just...help me into the tub,” Nile holds Andy’s weight, pretends not to see the way Andy grits her teeth when she steps over the rim. She lowers herself down until she is sitting in the bottom of the tub, and reaches for a washcloth and some soap. Andy’s body is riddled with cuts and bruises, and Nile understands why Andy was hesitant to ask for help. It’s a pretty gruesome sight, even for someone who was expecting injury.

Andy sighs, a deep, exhausting thing, and leans against the back of the tub. She dips the washcloth in the water, lathers it up with soap and starts to scrub at the parts of her skin that are not tender. Nile closes the toilet seat and sits herself down.

“So…while you have me trapped here, in pain and unable to stand, do you have any other pressing questions about immortality, or...anything really?”

Nile chews her lip, feels her cheeks get warm “I’ll be this age forever, right?”

“Yup,”

“Does that mean....okay this is gonna sound stupid,” Nile closes her eyes so she won’t have to see Andy’s face when she asks “Will I still get my period?”

“Oh no,” Andy chuckles “God no. Your body heals itself, so there is no tissue to shed. If I still got my period I probably would have tried harder to end my immortality. Can you imagine thousands of years of that shit?”

“I was hoping I wouldn’t have to,”

Andy wrings out the blood and dirt from her washcloth, and tries to reach behind her to scrub at her back. She bites back a cry of pain, the water rushing through the tub spout drowns out whatever sound escapes her lips. Nile takes the cloth wordlessly, begins to wipe the grime away from Andy’s skin “How many times have you died?”

“Lost count,” Andy stares at her feet. “At least two thousand, probably more,”

“How many times have you blown yourself up?”

“Five,”

“Only five?”

“Blown myself up or been blown up?”

“Blown up,”

“Then probably...forty,”

“What is the weirdest way you’ve died?”

“I ate mercury,”

“What?”

“Joe dared me too,”

“Most embarrassing way you’ve ever died?”

“Are all your questions going to be about my deaths?”

“How old are you?”

“Around sixty-five hundred. My foot got tangled in the sling of a trebuchet as I was helping place the payload and I got hurtled into the sky,”

“Have you ever tried to figure out why this is happening?”

“How would I do that?”

“I don’t know, but...aren’t you curious?”

“No,” Andy’s voice isn’t dismissive when she replies.

“Why don’t you believe in God?”

“I told you before, there was a time that I was worshipped as a God, but I’m just a person who has a hard time making death stick to her. I can’t shape the world, I can’t heal the sick, I can only kill,”

“And save,”

Andy looks at Nile and there is something in her eyes Nile doesn’t know how to decipher. “Regardless, having been a God to some sorry fuckers thousands of years ago, I have a hard time thinking that any part of it is real. As old as I am and as travelled as I’ve been, I’ve seen many religions rise and fall around all different types of Gods. And while I understand the comfort of prayer, community, and worship, it just hard for me to think that God exists when I see something so many people have believed in and have devoted themselves to disappear within a few decades. But you can believe whatever you want, I’m sorry if I was harsh about your religion before,”

“I appreciate that,” Nile’s hand freezes as she goes to scrub the dirt from Andy’s shoulders and finds a stab wound sitting there instead, cut deep and oozing. “Where did you get this?”

“Goussainville,”

“Its bleeding,”

“Is it?”

“Okay Andy, first of all, you can’t keep shit like this from anyone anymore. Secondly– and I can’t believe I have to ask this question –do you have bandages here? A first aid kit?”

“Yes, in my bag. I bought some the other night,”

“I’ll go grab it,” Nile hands Andy the shampoo and conditioner and slips out of the bathroom to go in search of medical equipment. Joe and Nicky look up from their work and raise their eyebrows quizzically. Nile pretends she doesn’t see them.

Booker is precariously balancing a stack of bedsheets when Nile comes into the room. “Have you seen Andy’s bag?” she asks him. Booker’s eyes are red when he looks up at her.

“Um, yeah,” he throws the sheets down, roots through the pile of bags on the floor. “Here,”

“Thanks,” Nile’s replies, her voice hesitant. She looks Booker over as she sifts through the bag. “How are you?”

“I didn’t mean to…” Booker seems desperate “I didn’t know,”

“She knows,”

“I thought I- it doesn’t matter,” Booker shakes his head. “I should have realized they would lie,”

“I know you think you were doing something good,” Nile says carefully. “But that wasn’t a choice you made with everyone, it’s a choice you made for everyone. Booker, if you have to kidnap your friends to get them to do something, maybe it wasn’t a good idea in the first place,”

“You’re right…” Booker plays with the edge of the folded bed sheets, not meeting her eyes. “We’ve all done things to piss each other off before, but this is really bad. I don’t know what I’m gonna do...what they’re gonna do,”

“I don’t either,” Nile finds the first aid kit, and leaves Booker alone. Andy is washing the suds out of her hair when Nile returns. “Anyone have medical training?”

“Nicky,”

“Are you okay with having him look at you? You have to be more careful now,”

“I know,”

“You think you know, but you haven’t been mortal in...over six thousand years. You can push yourself an awful lot, but you can’t ignore your injuries. When was the last time you had an infection? Or had to take medication?”

“Fine,” Andy sighs “Let me put on some pants.” Nile helps Andy out of the tub, turns the water cold and rinses the conditioner out of her hair as Andy dries herself off, struggles into her underwear and sweatpants.

“Nicolo,” Andy pokes her head out of the door “Vieni qui per favore,”

Without hesitation, Nicky joins them in the bathroom, “Everything okay, Andy?”

“Nile is worried I may need medical attention. She hasn’t taken any bandages off but she said there was blood on them and is concerned that I may have ripped my stitches, or whatever the hell it was they did to me,”

“Also she has a stab wound she didn’t tell anyone about on her shoulder,”

Nicky turns to look at Nile, then back to Andy, he raises his eyebrow slightly, and shakes his head when Andy shrugs. “I’m assuming it is okay for me to examine you?”

“Yeah,”

Nile watches Nicky work, how delicately he removes her bandages, the intensity of his stare as he analyzes the damage. “The stitches have definitely slipped,” he presses his hand to Andy’s stomach, rolling his palm slightly around her abdomen and then close to where her bruises have started to bloom. “You don’t have a rigid abdomen, so there’s probably not internal bleeding. Let me see the others,” Andy complies, resting her chin upon her hands, rolling her neck until it cracks. “The back seems to have slipped as well, and the shoulder one is a little too old for stitches. I don’t have sutures here, but I could glue it if you want,”

“Do you still need me?” Nile asks, a little woozy.

“I’ve got her,” Nicky replies.

Nile leaves the room and nearly jumps out of her skin when Booker and Joe rush to her “Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” Nile pours herself a glass of wine. “It’s all good,”

Booker and Joe finish setting the table and they all prepare themselves for dinner. Nicky and Andy join them soon after they have sat down to eat. Over dinner, the attention turns to Nile, she is attacked from all sides with all the burning questions the immortals have about her life. Joe learns of Nile’s interest in art history and spends the rest of the meal excitedly telling her fun facts about every famous artist they’d ever met. Nile sits on the kitchen counter while the others wash the dishes. She listens to them hum snippets of long forgotten songs, and marvels at the way they move around one another without needing to speak. They are more than just a team, more than just a family, Nile realizes as Joe starts up a gramophone. When they are all together they are a single living organism.

Booker tries to offer her more wine and Joe tries to pull her, gently, off the countertop so he can teach her how to swing dance. Nile is not exactly shy, and under different circumstances she knows she would have participated more in the evening's festivities. But for tonight, Nile stays rooted in place, as a casual observer of their joy. Nile feels happier than she has in months, as she watches them drink, as Joe prays, and as the old friends dance together. A promise of what this life could be. The evening begins to calm and Andy, skin flushed and pupils dilated, and Booker head to bed.

“You coming?” Joe asks Nicky, who has been sitting at the dining room table, propping his head up with his hand, reading a book.

“Later,” Nicky looks up from the page “I’d like to read for a bit,”

“Okay,” Joe presses a kiss to Nicky’s temple “Goodnight,”

“Night, love,”

Nile moves to sit on the living room couch, rests her arms on her knees, hangs her head so she can focus on the floor. She finally lets herself breathe, lets herself think about everything that she just went through. The burning pinch of the bullets that riddled her, the way her bones felt moving underneath her skin, the smell of blood and dust. She thinks of the man that killed her, the way life had left his eyes, how Andy had a similar look in her eye when the two of them peered out the broken window in Merrick’s penthouse. She runs her hands across her head, rubs the tears from her eyes. She needs to think, to make a decision. The longer she stays here the harder it is for her to justify leaving. This is a family, not hers, not yet, but she knows how easily it could be. She pulls out her phone, spends too long staring, blurry eyed at photos of her family. She thinks about her brother, his passion, his joy, and his sadness. She thinks of her mother, how hard she had worked to provide them a life they could be proud of, how determined she was to be happy despite the wrongs the world had handed her. She thinks of the emptiness that consumed their family when her father died, how badly her mother’s hand had shaken when she’d closed the door behind the officers that had delivered the news. Could she put her family through that again? Could she put her mother through that?

“I made you some hot chocolate,” Nicky places a steaming mug down on the coffee table. Nile blinks up at Nicky, so wrapped up in her own head she hadn’t fully processed what he’d said to her.

“Oh.” Nile sits up a little straighter “Thank you,”

“Could I join you?”

“Sure,” Nile holds the mug between her hands and lets the heat spread across her fingers.

“I’m not sure that it tastes very good, but sometimes all you need is a little warmth,”

“Thank you, Nicky,”

“Of course,” he takes a sip of his own drink. “How are you feeling about all of this, Nile?”

Nile sighs “Honestly? I have no idea,”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“I’m not sure what I want, I’m not sure what to do,”

“Do about what?”

“Any of it– All of it.” Nile watches the ceiling fan circle, searching for the right words “I’m not sure how to feel about this immortality business. I don’t think it’s fully sunk in yet, it still feels like a dream. I keep pinching myself just to see if I’ll wake up. I’ve died four times in the last week, I keep having nightmares, and I just,” Nile’s lip trembles “I just want my Mom, you know?”

“I do,” he admits “They don’t tell you when you train for battle how many people will die crying out for their mothers. In times of strife, in times of fear, we want that which will bring us comfort.  I’ve lived for nine-hundred years, and time has eaten away at a lot of my memories. I can’t remember what my mother looks like, but some days I am hit with an overpowering wave of melancholy knowing that I will never see her again. I can still remember how it felt, the first couple of times. How terrifying it was, how isolating, and every time I came back to life I thought of her, I wanted her to be there to tell me it was okay. But at the time I thought there was a devil in me, so I never let myself go back.” Nicky turns the full force of his attention towards Nile, and though every action he performs is gentle and controlled, Nile shrinks under the pressure of his gaze. “You’re an incredibly strong person, Nile,”

“Sometimes I wish I didn’t have to be,”

“You don’t always,”

Nile stifles a laugh, because Nicky means well, but he just doesn’t get it. He doesn’t know what it is like to wear her skin, to grow up where she did. And while she has no doubt he’s faced trials and tribulations, and had his fair share of hate spewed at him, no amount of time on Earth will ever let him understand what she means. “I think I want to go home,”

“Why?”

“I want a better goodbye. I want to hear my mother’s voice again, I want to hug her one last time,”

“And what purpose does that serve?”

“I don’t know…” Nile shrugs, she looks to Nicky with lost eyes. “I don’t want them to suffer, I don’t want them to have to mourn me,”

“What happens if they start to realize you aren’t aging?”

“I leave,”

“And cause them pain,” under different circumstances, Nile would have thought this point was cruel, but to Nicky it’s a matter of fact. It is not a question, it is not a hypothetical, it’s merely...truth.

“I know what it was like, after my Dad died. I don’t know that I can put them through that,”

“You’ll have to do it eventually. You just have to decide whether you cause them misery now, or later,”

“I don’t think I’m ready to say goodbye,” Nile’s voice cracks.

“Nile,” Nicky takes her hand, brushes a tear from her cheek, “No one ever is,”

“Ugh sorry,” Nile takes a raggedy breath, sniffles, and forces herself to smile, though it falters for a moment. “I don’t normally cry,”

“Why not?”

“It makes me feel weak, it makes me feel vulnerable,”

“But neither of those things are true,” Nicky takes a sip of his drink, “could I ask you a question?”

“Shoot,”

“Why did you come back?”

“What?”

Nicky’s eyebrows furrow as he tries to find the words. “When Andromache and Booker were brought into the lab, we asked after you, wanting to make sure you were okay, you were safe. I don’t think any of us would have forgiven ourselves if you had been captured too. Andy said that you had left, that you wanted to get as much time as you could with your family before the immortality caught up to you. We didn’t know if we’d ever see you again....until you came bursting through that door,” Nile feels her cheeks go warm “So...why? What caused you to come back?”

Nile examines the contents of the mug between her fingers, takes a sip to wash the tremble out of her voice. “Right before I left, Andy handed me her pistol and told me to get rid of the weapons before I got on a train. When I went to toss them, I noticed the clip was empty. Booker was the one that prepped that gun for her, so I knew something was up,”

“Ok,” Nicky surveys Nile’s face “But that doesn’t answer my question,”

“It doesn’t?”

“No,” Nicky’s lips turn up in the ghost of a smile “Just seeing that gun doesn’t mean you have to come back for us. We basically kidnapped you to get you to come here. You’ve only known us for a few days, you have no obligation to us. You could have looked at that gun, thought something was wrong, and then gone back to your family anyway. But instead...you chose to save us, even after our broken promises. Andy told you we’d keep you safe, and we left you alone, exposed, and in the open,”

“It’s not your fault,”

“I know,” Nicky runs a hand through his hair.

“How did you know about what Andy said to me anyway?”

“She was beating herself up about it in the lab,” Nicky states. “You don’t have to tell me if you do not wish too, Nile. I was just curious,”

“No,I–”  Nile stares straight ahead of her when she says it, focusing her attention on the front door. “It was Quynh,”

“Quynh?” Nicky asks, and Nile nods, forcing herself to face this kind man who asked hard questions.

“And you,”

“Me?”

“You were right. When I first saw the gun I thought about just leaving, figured that whatever was happening you’d have the time to get out of it on your own. But then I thought of Quynh, of feeling her drown over and over; the wildness of it, the insanity. And I thought of what you told me the other night, your fear of capture, of spending an eternity in a box. Feeling what Quynh felt– feels,” Nile corrects herself “I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. I knew I couldn’t leave you all to that potential future.”

Nicky sizes Nile up and though he smiles warmly at her, she feels like he is staring right into her soul. It’s not uncomfortable, just unexpected, Nile takes another sip of her hot chocolate to break the eye contact. When Nile looks at him again his body seems heavy, he’s staring at nothing in particular and rubbing his wrist absentmindedly.

“How ‘bout you? Are you okay?”

Nicky shakes his head and it takes him a minute to say anything at all “I don’t think so,”

“Were you scared?”

“Only for a moment, when they injected me and Joe with something and I thought they might separate us.”

“But they didn’t,”

“No. I did have to watch him tortured though,”

“I’m so sorry,”

“I’d throw myself in front of every danger to keep him from being hurt,” Nicky admits “And I couldn’t spare him from the pain,”

“Is that why you haven’t said a word to Booker since we left the lab?”

“We had some time to question him,” Nicky says after a moment of contemplation “when they got into the lab. Joe was pretty busy yelling at him, but Booker told us he hadn’t meant for it to go like this. He’d been promised answers to his existence, a potential cure to his immortality, a way to die before his time. He thought that we could all get some answers, that we would all want a way to end this cursed existence.” Nicky runs his hand over his face, looking to Nile with tired eyes. “I have never had a child, so I do not know what it is like to lose one. Much less three. I know Booker is hurt and lonely, and I cannot begin to understand the pain he must have felt having watched his children fade away, without being able to stop it. But he is wrong about us.  

Nicky turns to look behind him to the doorway where Joe is sleeping. “I’ve always had Joe, and Joe has always had me. For Booker, who has seen it all slip away from him, that seems like a blessing, and I don’t disagree. But,” Nicky scratches the back of his head “we have watched each other die over and over again for 900 years. And every time I see him die, I have to wait with grief spreading through my chest before I can reign it in, and hope that he moves again, that I can see him breathe. I throw myself in front of danger to protect Joe all the time, and I do it so that he does not have to suffer the wounds, but there is a part of me that does it because I am selfish. I hope that I will die before him so I do not have to bear losing him forever. I get a taste of what my life would be like without him by my side every time I watch him die, and I know I would be lost. Booker thinks the weight of immortality does not fall upon our shoulders, thinks that because Joe and I have always had each other that we walk on air, oblivious to the harsh realities, the objective truths of living as long as we have. He believes we do not know the loneliness, but Joe and I have lived every day with Death’s scythe above our heads. Booker and Andy do not have a monopoly on the tragedy, self-pity, or loathing that comes with what we do or...what we are. I am just as angry and tired as the rest of them, and there are times I wish I would just die, same as them. But, I make an active choice every single day to not succumb to the pressure. I choose to believe there is a reason for this, that this life has purpose, that we are doing good. I believe Joe makes this life worth it, but so does Andy, so does Booker, Quynh, and Lykon would have too had he lived long enough for us to know him. Booker thinks he is alone, because he does not see all of the wonderful people around him for the gift they are.

“What’s that advice people like to tell children? ‘If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all?’ I haven’t said anything to Booker since the lab because I’m angry. I am angry that we were captured, I’m angry at the fear I felt, however brief, over what could have happened had you not been the incredibly kind and compassionate young woman you are. I’m angry that Joe and I bore most of the consequences of Booker’s lapse in judgement. And it’s not anger he deserves, because I believe it was a mistake, I don’t think he would have done it had he known the extent of Merrick’s masochism. I don’t even think I would be mad if it had just been me. But it was Joe the guards beat in the van, it was Joe that Merrick stabbed. Booker never had to suffer the consequences of his own suicide attempt. Perhaps I am being too harsh, but for the moment I have other things to worry about.” Nicky clears his throat, holds his mug between his hands.

“Andy?”

Nicky’s sigh carries centuries on it “Andromache has lived a long life, longer than I can even fathom. She’s done a lot of good in this world, and she deserves the rest. I want to keep her around as long as possible, but I’m happy for her that sometime within the next sixty years or so she will finally know peace. It just….hurts,” Nicky stands, offers to take Nile’s cup “But these are the tired musings of an old man, I probably should not have offered you so much of my burden,”

“I asked,”

“You are a good person, Nile. I’m very glad to know you,”

“So are you,”

“Nile,” Nicky puts the mugs down to dry and says in a voice so low Nile isn’t quite certain she heard it correctly. “Could I give you a hug?”

“I guess?”

Nicky’s arms are strong, and certain when he pulls her in, and while he holds her the ground seems sturdy beneath her feet for the first time since she woke up in that hospital bed. “Thank you,” he whispers, squeezing her tighter “for saving my family,”

“Nicolo,” Joe is standing in the doorway, squinting against the light in the living room. His curls are messy, his beard is ruffled, and Nile has to keep herself from laughing at how adorable he looks.

“Trouble sleeping?” Nicky asks, he says it like it’s a joke, but Nile knows it isn’t.

“I was just thinking how cute I looked laying in that bed, and I would hate to deny you the opportunity to watch me sleep,” Joe winks, his face lighting up in a smile.

“I’ll be in in just a moment, Yusuf, va bene?”

“nem,” Joe disappears back into the bedroom.

Nicky turns back to Nile, and much like Joe’s earlier, when his eyes meet hers, they shine. “Are you feeling any better?”

“I think so, are you?”

“I am,” Nicky squeezes Nile’s arm, his right lip pulling upwards “Goodnight, Nile,”

“Night,” she replies as Nicky follows Joe into the other room. While Nile is tired her mind is still working too quickly to settle for the evening, so instead she spends some time pacing the living room. She thinks about the days, about the Guard. Though they live forever, Nile has seen the way they come alive around each other, has seen the love they share. This is a family, she has no doubt, and one she will be lucky to one day feel a part of. When she plugs her phone in to charge, she feels the need to study her mother’s face, to try to commit it to her memory. She leans against the doorframe to the bedroom the others are all sharing, a bed made beautifully at the end, just for her. If Nile hadn’t just spent the last few years sleeping next to a dozen fellow soldiers she’d think that it was weird they always seemed to share a room. She looks at Booker, snoring lightly in his bed, even asleep his face is full of sorrow. At Andy, who is curled up on her right side, eyes flickering rapidly beneath her eyelids, face peaceful. She cannot tell where Joe ends and Nicky begins, the two of them a pile of legs and arms, nestled together warm and close. Nile turns off the lights, fumbles her way in the darkness to the bed, it’s a little lumpy, but much more comfortable than the cot she’s been sleeping in recently. She stares up at the ceiling, listens to the others breathe until she slips into unconsciousness.

That night she does not dream of Quynh, nor the men that she has killed. Instead, she dreams of her father’s combat boots, of the folded flag that hangs above the front door. She dreams of her brother, of the music he’s been working on. She dreams of her father, and feels like she is flying when he lifts her and places her on his shoulders. She dreams of shag carpet against her skin as she sits between her mother’s legs, as her mother braids her hair and calls her beautiful, and reminds her that there is so much life to be lived outside Chicago. “Look,” her mother says, and holds up a mirror. Inside it Nile sees Afghanistan, sees Gousainville, and London. “You have so many more adventures ahead of you,” her mother says, leaning forward so Nile’s cheek is pressed against her own. “Go find them,”

Nile wakes up in the morning to the sound of muffled laughter and makes her choice.

[dizzydancingdreamer]

Best Friend Things | Kol Mikaelson

Hey Lovelies, surprise, I'm back! I missed you all so much! Thank you to those special people who checked up on me faithfully! You know who you are and I hope i can repay that kindness one day! Y'all are honestly amazing!! I hope you all like this, it's more of a drabble so I am sorry for that but I needed to submit something :) All the best loves, I hope to see you soon again!

Description: Honestly just a Drabble about Y/n and Kol becoming best friends with a small storyline about him protecting her from a bad home life, nothing too bad, sorry for the weak description LOL

Pairing: Kol Mikaelson x Fem!Reader

Warnings: mentions of abuse, hospital, completely SFW though (unfortunately)

Word count: 3526

Tags: FLUFF, a lil angst but not much SO MUCH FLUFF

(Pics aren't mine but the mood board is <3)

You don’t know how you and Kol became best friends, it sort of just happened. You were in high school when you first met him. He was a year above you, the senior to your junior. Not to mention the captain of the football team. He was everything you weren’t. Popular, athletic, known. You were just a shy girl with a paintbrush who flinched a little too much. The first time he spoke to you, you almost fainted.

You wipe the sweat from your forehead, refusing to move from the autumn heat until your sketches are finished. It’s the first week of school and the football team has been practicing every afternoon. It’s perfect for life drawing. Jogging, stretching, catching, tackling. It’s the best practice, especially if you plan on getting into school and as far away from Louisiana as possible.

Your hands tremble, the charcoal between your fingers stuttering over the page. You sigh, ready to rip the page out and start over.

“No, keep it, love,” your hand jerks again, along with the rest of your body, at the unfamiliar voice, “I like the way it looks. It’s unique.”

His accent is thick and enchanting, pulling your eyes from the drawing to the boy standing above you. Kol Mikaelson. Your eyes widen and your breath catches in your throat. Your cheeks flush but it’s thankfully hidden with the summer sun. He’s not looking at you, anyway, his eyes glued to your sketch pad. It's filled with football players which wasn’t weird until now.

You run a still shaking hand through your hair, pushing it out of your sticky face, “I, ah, thank you. I think.”

You pull the sleeves of your jacket further down your arms, trying to hide the tremors. His eyes are now on you, skimming over your curled form. You can feel his eyes land on your face but you don’t meet them with your own. Your heart picks up when he sits down next to you, staying a couple feet away, but still pretty close. You sit as still as you can, trying desperately not to fidget. For a guy who’s been running in the heat for a couple hours he still smells really good. Like pine trees and liquorice. Who even smells like that?

“Aren’t you warm in that hoodie?” His question seems harmless but it makes you freeze up even more.

You look over your shoulder, spotting a familiar black truck in the parking lot, mumbling, “I’m fine.”

You close your sketchbook, tucking it into your tote bag along with your pencils and charcoal. You stand up, stretching your legs slightly, stiff from sitting on the grass for the past two hours. You can feel the indents in your legs and know for certain there are green stains on your bottom. You don’t check though, not with Kol next to you. You go to walk away but a hand on your shoulder stops you.

The breath leaves your lungs as he presses unknowingly on a bite carefully tucked under your shirt, “are you sure, love?”

It’s all you can do to not look at the truck again, staring at the ground, doing your best not to wince at his fingers, “I, uh, yeah. It’s fine.”

“It’s fine?” His finger draws your chin up to look into his eyes, which are delightfully carmel and burning with questions.

“I mean I’m fine.”

You can’t tell if you're trying to convince Kol or yourself. Both, maybe. It doesn’t matter though. You don’t plan on ever speaking to him again. You pull your face from his grasp, stifling another groan when you haul your tote bag onto your shoulder, heading towards the parking lot. You already know your step dad is in that truck, tapping his hand impatiently on the steering wheel, watching your every move. You can feel Kol’s eyes like laser beams on your back.

“See you tomorrow then, love?”

You don’t answer, you just keep walking.

The second time you saw him, he didn't let you go as easily. A week had passed from your first encounter on the football team. You hadn’t realized yet but he had followed you home that night. He knew something was wrong, he saw every flinch, heard every breath. Call it intuition. Call it being a vampire. Call it whatever you want, that was just Kol. And with Kol comes his frustrating tendency to never let things go. He had seen it all, and he was furious.

You reach up, standing on your tiptoes to get your books from the top shelf of your locker, wincing at the action. When you had put your things there for the weekend, you hadn't expected to walk into school the following Monday with bruised ribs. Your stomach pulses with pain, the kind that’s white hot and makes you want to throw up. You have to roll back onto the balls of your feet to avoid collapsing. Crap.

You stare at the books longingly, knowing you only have a few minutes until first period starts. It will only take a second to grab them, right? You can do it. You’ll be fine. You have to be fine. It’s fine.

You reach up again, your shirt lifting with your movements. When the breeze that accompanies the busy hallway skims your back, the wind is knocked from your lungs. It feels like someone kicked you all over again. You power through it though. You need those books. They’re just a little further. The more you move your arms, the more your shirt raises. There's more wind, followed by the same burning sensation. You’re going to throw up.

You fall back on flat feet again, bumping into something hard. Probably another locker. The locker’s hands grip the bottom of your shirt. Definately not a locker. You spin around so fast you can’t help the groan that slips out, your back screaming at you from all the activity. You feel tears threatening to spill. Everything hurts.

You’re greeted by none other than Kol Mikaelson, whose eyes are still, glued to a spot just in front of you. The spot where your back had just been. His hands are still balled into fists, like he’s still holding your shirt. He looks confused. No, scratch that, he looks angry. When he finally looks at you his eyes are pitch black. You take a step back out of instinct, the cold metal of your locker searing into your back through the thin fabric of your tee.

“I, ah, Kol,” your eyes dart around the hallway, checking to see if anyone else was watching, only to find it completely empty, “what’s, uh, what’s up?”

He cuts right to the chase, “what’s on your back?”

Your eyes widen automatically at his question. He can’t know. Right? No of course not. Unless he saw. But there's no way. He moves closer to you, his arm landing right beside your head with a slight bang. You flinch. He’s caging you in slightly, sending your heart into overdrive. Your lungs constrict. His eyes are burning into yours. He’s pissed and you’re not sure why. You can’t breathe.

“What do you mean?” Of course you dodge the question, that’s what you’re supposed to do.

He runs his other hand through his hair, tugging at the roots, “love, don’t play games with me you will not win.”

Your mouth goes dry, your voice is too quiet, “what do you want from me?”

He closes his eyes, squeezing the fist that’s still beside your head. You’re not sure what to do. You could run but you would probably only get a few feet before he’d catch you. Would he catch you? Would he even run after you? No, he doesn’t care. Then again, he’s here. He’s pushing you for something. You’re not sure if you’re ready to find out what.

When he opens his eyes again he looks directly into yours, his pupils dilating, “I want you to show me your back. Now, love.”

“I’m going to show you my back,” you know you’re the one speaking but it’s almost like you’re listening to a recording of yourself.

It feels like your body turns on its own accord, one minute you're facing him and the next you're staring at the locker, in a trance. You don’t remember wanting to lift your shirt up but you do it anyway, exposing your back to Kol Mikaelson. You feel the tears start to fall. You want to run, now, not just debate running, but you can’t, you’re stuck. It’s like your feet are glue to the floor.

“Fucking hell,” Kols words are strangled, “what are they doing to you.”

He touches your back lightly, no doubt skimming the blackened marks on your rib cage. His fingers sting and you can’t help but hiss. You lean away from his touch still holding your shirt in place. You can feel yourself trembling but you start to space out.

Kol’s finger tilts your head to meet his eyes once more, “you can put your shirt back, love. Thank you.”

With those simple words you pull your shirt down, whipping around to face him. You look like a deer caught in headlights, waiting for an impact. Time feels frozen still. Kol reaches to touch your face, his eyes fading back to their usual cola colour. Time unfreezes. And you run like hell.

After that day you had started to see Kol more and more. Staring at you from across the cafeteria, shooting pool in town at the local pub, jogging on the sidewalk in your neighbourhood. Wherever you were, there he was. Seeing him became a normal part of your day but you never spoke to him, not after that day at your locker. You wouldn’t talk to him for another three weeks after that day.

When you open your eyes it’s to the sound of machines beeping. There’s a sanitary tinge of bleach and lemons in the air. Your bed is stiff, the room dim. Your arm burns with a kind of deep itch you’ve never felt before. When you go to scratch it, you find a tube and a needle at the source. That’s when it hits you, you’re at the hospital.

Your heartbeat picks up, the machine beeping faster with it. A lady dressed in scrubs sprints into your room but before she can touch you there’s a hand on your face and then one on your neck, against your pulse point. When you look up you’re greeted by someone that you’re not actually that surprised to see; Kol Mikaelson.

“Kol, what-,” you want to continue talking but your throat burns, like you’re swallowing glass with every syllable.

You end up coughing up a storm, something the nurse must have anticipated because she hands you a glass of water. Her hair is a pretty chestnut colour, pulled into a long ponytail. She has a warm smile on her face.

She picks up the chart at the end of your bed, looking at it while she speaks, “you’re going to want to go easy on that throat for a while, sugar plum. You had quite the little accident. You should feel lucky your boyfriend here found you when he did or you would be in a much worse condition.”

Her voice is like honey, slow and sweet. Every word she says brings you closer to calming down. Until she says boyfriend. As soon as she says that word the heart monitor goes wild. He is not your boyfriend. Yes, he is cute, more so than the average boy. Alright Kol is gorgeous, but that’s not the point. Why does she think Kol is your boyfriend?

You look to Kol for the first time since meeting him for help, hoping he can understand your confused expression.

He nods and looks at the nurse with a smile on his face that doesn't quite reach his eyes, “Sarah, darling, do you mind giving us a moment? I think she needs a second to catch her breath.”

She looks like she’s about to protest but he leans a fraction closer and she smiles back, walking out of the room without another word. Your chest falls for a moment when he calls her darling and you’re not sure why. Kol means nothing to you. Well, that’s not true. You’ve grown fond of seeing him around, but it’s nothing that would warrant being jealous, if that’s what this is.

When she closes the door, Kol turns back to you. That’s when you notice his eyes, and the deep purple circles underneath then. Your breath catches in your sore throat. How long has he been here? How long have you been here?

What happened? The heart monitor starts it’s assault on your ears again.

“Love, listen to me,” he pulls the chair he must have been sitting in next to your bed, “if you want me to tell you what happened then you’re going to have to calm down, alright?”

“Ok,” you whisper back, trying to push past the fire in your lungs.

He picks your hand up with his own and you don’t protest, letting yourself be comfortable with this small touch. There’s a small smile on his face when you glance up at him. He rubs small circles near your wrist, avoiding the IV taped on the back of your hand. He looks lost in thought, his carmel eyes somewhere far away.

“Kol,” his name feels funny in your mouth, like you’re not worthy of it, “please talk.”

Just those few words are torture, something that desn’t go unnoticed by him, “shhhh, don’t talk, ok? I’ll explain everything. But I need to ask you something, and you need to tell me the truth. I can’t help you if you don’t tell me the truth. Please, love.”

It takes everything in you to keep your heart from spiking. You could lie and say you have absolutely no idea what he wants to ask you but that’s a lie. You’re too tired to lie, too tired to hide, and much too tired to run. You just sigh and nod, letting him have his way.

“Do you know that your step-dad is a vampire?”

Oh. So that’s what he chose. That wouldn’t have been your question, but you let him have it. The short answer is yes. Yes, you do know that your step-dad is a vampire. You had figured it out pretty quickly the first time he cornered you in the kitchen after moving in and sunk his teeth into your neck. The longer answer, to a harder question, is no, your mother doesn’t know. And it has to stay that way.

Instead of saying that, though, you just nod your head. Kol’s hand tightens around yours. You don’t miss the way he sighs. He doesn't sound sad though, instead there’s relief on his face. You give him a pleading look.

“Well, love, it seems like your step-dad had been trying to kill you. I’m not sure exactly how or why. Well, that’s a lie actually. I know how. He was draining you of blood. I do not know why though. Why he would want to hurt you.”

The heart monitor picks up yet again and Kol gives you a funny look that you smile softly at. His eyes widen when he sees it, a small smile spreading over his face as well. The heart monitor slows easily.

“I’m just glad I was jogging when he attacked you. I heard you scream. I'm sorry, I kind of broke your door,” he gives you a shy grin, like that's what matters right now, “when I got to you I thought you were dead. There was so much blood, love. I don’t know where your step-dad went. I just wanted to get you here.”

Your cheeks warm at his words. He was the one who brought you here, the one who found you on the brink of death. He must think you’re such a handful. You bite your lip, looking up at him. You hold back tears, ones you didn't know were welling up in your eyes, and breathe deeply. Of course he notices them.

He draws your hand closer to him as Sarah walks back into the room, “what’s wrong love?”

He brings your hand to his lips, gently kissing your knuckles. Your mouth falls open. The heart monitor starts screaming.

He looks around the room and then at Sarah, his eyes fiery and his tone demanding, “what the hell is going on?”

Sarah only smiles, shaking her head lightly, “her heart skipped a beat, hun.”

From that moment the two of you were inseparable. You weren't fully comfortable with him yet but that didn't bother him. Well, not often at least. Sometimes when you flinched, though, his heart squeezed a little bit more than it should have. He knew it wasn't him that you were scared of. That it would just take time. You didn’t know it then, but that was one thing that Kol had plenty of; time.

The glass is icy in your fingertips but the contents make it all worth it. You barely suppress a moan at the strawberry goodness slipping down your throat. You don’t notice the way Kol’s eyes darken from across the booth.

“How is it that you’ve never had a strawberry milkshake?”

The two of you are sat in a diner that’s not special to either of you. It’s just another burger joint. The booths are apple red and faded but comfortable. Music trickles from a retro looking jukebox in the corner. Waitresses flow by in pastel uniforms. It's just the right amount of busy. Kol picked well.

Your eyes close as you take another sip, revelling in the sweetness, “I don’t get to go out that much, what can I say?”

You open your eyes to a stone faced Kol, his shoulders tight and his jaw clenched. There’s a heaviness to the atmosphere but that’s nothing new. Since the hospital you’ve both silently agreed to ignore it. Maybe that’s not the best plan but the first time he tried to talk with you about it you shut down. Not own your own accord, you wanted to tell Kol about it, you just couldn't. It was like you lips were sealed shut. Kol had left it after that.

“Well, then, I guess it’s up to me to show you the ropes then, love,” he leans his face in close to yours, his woodsy scent fogging your mind and lighting your body on fire.

You close your eyes once more, breathing in as much of the dark haired boy as you can. When you re-open them you catch Kol sneaking a sip from your milkshake. His glass now empty and pushed to the side.

You slap his arm gently, gasping with mock anger, “that’s not nice!”

He laughs abruptly, some of the strawberry shake landing on his lips instead of in his mouth. Without thinking you reach a hand to his face, wiping the melted liquid off his buttery soft lip. His chocolate eyes lock on yours, his pupils blown wider than you’ve ever seen. Your heart pounds so loudly in your chest you’re almost certain he can hear it. But that’s impossible, right?

It only takes a few seconds for your brain to catch up with your actions at which your cheeks flush on cue. You go to pull your hand back but he grabs it before you can, his fingers wrapping gently around your wrist. He draws your fingers, the ones coated in syrup and ice cream, to his mouth. His tongue swirls around them and you have to bite back a moan. You can honestly say that nothing has ever felt as exquisite as Kol’s mouth. Not that you have much experience with it. You can’t deny that you wish you had more.

“Kol,” your voice is barely there and breathy, “what are you doing?”

His eyes never leave your own, piercing you as he continues to lazily lick off the ice cream that, in all honestly, is definitely gone by now. A foreign kind of heat pools in the pit of your stomach when he gently bites down on your fingertips. You can’t stop the sigh that falls from your lips. Your whole body is singing from such a simple touch.

He takes his time pulling your hand from his mouth, releasing your digits with a pop, “only making sure you aren’t sticky, love. We wouldn't want that, now would we?”

He doesn't return your hand to his mouth but he doesn't let go of it either. He just laces his fingers through yours in the middle of the table, your heartbeat still echoing through the diner.

When you look across the table again your heart flutters. You see a popular, football star, a fierce protector, one of the most caring people you've ever met. When you look across the table you see your best friend.

And maybe more but that’s for another day and another diner.

[midnighthyuck]

Beautiful | jungwoo!au

summary: you were working on a photoshoot with your university team, in the meanwhile, jungwoo has to dress up as a girl to help his sister. 

words: 2.600 (sorry bout that)

pairing: you & jungwoo

a/n: pretty sweet. also, sorry about any mistakes, english is not my native language. it’s not that good idk? but it would be a shame deleting it all without giving a try. promise next time will be better.

requests are open!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Two hours. That was the amount of time you had already spent trying to convince your senior that purple lights wouldn’t look as good as blue ones. The scenario was all set up but the lights still annoyed you. He had been working with photoshoots before you, period. He had plenty of works highly well recognized by all teachers in photography faculty, period. Yet, purple didn’t feel right.  

Tired of hearing your annoying complains he decided to give it a try. It ended up with you being congratulated by your ‘unceasing persistence’ and happy with the finally blue studio. He was good, but you also were. Being on top of the class was the main reason you were the only sophomore in the wise room.  

Once done with the lighting discussion you decided to take a look on the models. It was not your first time on a shooting like that so you had plenty knowledge of how the girls get stressed and sensitive right before the show. Most of them you’d never seen before and was pretty much sure you wouldn’t be seeing again anytime soon, still you made sure to bring them some fruits and cool water. 

‘’You all look stunning! Definitely the prettiest girls I’ve ever seen’’ you genuinely smiled at them. That was your job, making them feel at ease, instead of freaking them out like Doyoung would be doing in a few minutes. 

He wasn’t a bad guy, but the amount of overwork he had been dealing with in the past few months may have helped him to become this ‘fast mood shifting’ weapon. Or you might just think it because you are two opposites. Doyoung doesn’t know how to behave when it comes about girls. Also don’t you when it comes about boys. 

“There’s one missing’’ Ten made himself noticeable, handing you the paperwork. 

“It’s fine, we still got a few minutes.’’ you tried to stay calm, although you knew Doyoung would be shouting at you once the shoot started and one of his ‘girls’ was missing. ‘’I’ll go grab some coffee for us. Make sure Doyoung doesn’t freak out.’’  

“I will try.’’ It’s all you get back when you’re already reaching the elevator.  

In the meanwhile, Jungwoo was in denial.  

“No.” was all he said. 

“No, you don’t get me.” Junghah, the older sister, insisted. “I need you to be there for me. The director will fucking kill me. Also, what if I never get a job like this again?” 

“You should be there, not me!” his voice still sounded awfully adorable, despite the loudness. 

“I know! Do you think I’m like this cause I want to? Huh?” Junghah’s voice made itself louder than expected thanks to the eco. She had been in the bathroom for the whole day long. It had been four hours already. “Even if I manage to get out of here, I don’t think I can stay away for too long, you understand?” 

Jungwoo was too good, even he suspected of it, but everything must have a limit. He thought about the uncountable number of times he’d helped his older sister until the very moment. Combing her hair when she broke her arm. Dumping her ex-boyfriend for her cause she wouldn’t be able to handle his crying face. Not to mention all the times he had lied to their mom in order to help her sneak out of the house to go out.  

He knew that dressing up as a girl and showing up in a photoshoot wasn’t the best decision at all.  “Pretty please.’’ and that was it. 

With that simple sentence she had him all over her shoes.  

Jungwoo was way too good. 

[…] 

“Hold on, please!” you let the air in your lungs come out as a demand, running to the metal door a few steps away from you while managing to keep both ice americanos in your hands inside its cups, instead of dripping all over the elevator’s floor. “Thank you.” you mumble once in, trying to fix the harsh first impression you’d just caused. 

A smile was the answer. An awkwardly cute smile coming from an around 5 feet tall girl. She was huge, that was no secret, even compared to the ones waiting for you at the studio, yet something about her felt just to adorable, despite her size. Her long hair fell just right over her shoulder’s, contouring her back with a few other strands over her cheekbones. She was definitely adorable and you couldn’t help but smile. 

“Excuse me, are you here for the shooting?”  

“Uh, yes!” not only the face was lovely, but also the voice.  

You tried to keep your reactions to yourself, but seeing her ears getting red just made you internally jump in joy. “I see. I’m also on it, I mean, not modeling as you can see. I’m in charge of light and photography.’’ you smiled once again when she opened her mouth impressed, getting even more red than before. “Is this your first time?” 

“...Is it that obvious?” and once again you found yourself whipped by that extremally cute face.  

“Nah, it’s just cause you have very sincere expressions. It’s not bad though.” The conversation could keep on some other time, because in the very next second you’d arrived in the 8th floor. 

You, politely, guide the girl to the makeup room and let her there so they could work out on how to make her look like the astonishing (you would call kinda fake looking) woman we see on magazines. 

[…] 

As you thought Doyoung couldn’t keep his frustrations to himself, but since you were there the models had someone to rely on. Specially the cute one. It was her first time so it took ages for her to feel comfortable enough to pose properly.  

You managed to make some good pics before noon arrived, so you’d just sit around and wait until your colleagues were also done. Going out for a few drinks was always one of the best parts of working on projects with them.  

While setting up a few things in your head and organizing some paper and equipment, you heard two of your senior laughing. ‘If they can chill, they can also help me get everything done’ your thought while frowning. Finally reaching both guys you could barely remember the names, you were able to hear was seemed to be so funny. 

“I don’t know how Doyoung let that thing be on the project. That’s definitely not a girl, dude.”  

“I mean, maybe if I was drunk, or blind” both them laugh annoyingly.  

“Well, if it is so cool making fun out of people, I guess you guys will die in laughter once you check up on yourselves in the mirror.” you claim entering the place. “Or it might be funnier if your just shut the fuck up and take care of the work you’re here to do.’’ 

“Yeah, but nobody told me this was a gay parade.” one insisted. 

You smile back. “I bet they told you it was a circus. That’s why you keep acting like a fucking clown.” 

Before it could get any worse (or better), all the models, now done with their hard work, entered the room laughing in delight once it was over. Except from the tall one, who came in leaving the bathroom right behind you. You frowned in pain. You just wished she didn’t hear all the bullshit those two said. 

“Thank you for that.” she told you once you both were the only ones left in the huge studio, since taking the elevator was a kind of process when there were around 14 people in there. And taking the stairs on 8th floor was not an option.  

The touch of your hand on hers makes she feels vulnerable, and once again she blushes. “Never mind those assholes. Men are fucking stupid. Are you coming with us for a drink?” 

“Uh, not really. I gotta go back to check on my sister.” 

“Oh, I see.” and when the elevator finally arrives to get you, you hear her sighing in relief. 

“You did well today. I bet we are gonna see each other again anytime. What’s your name anyways?” 

“Kim Jungwoo.” she answers back with a wide smile.  

“You’re name is as adorable as your face, you know it?” you can’t help but make your thoughts real by telling the truth. 

“Oh... Thank you. I don’t get this a lot.” 

“But you should. Honestly, you’re the cutest model I’ve ever bumped into. Feel lucky, cause I see plenty of gorgeous girls every once in a while. You’re extremally beautiful.” 

“Thank you.” you are amused by the laugh that comes from her. It was just too much of a cute sound. But before you could embarrass yourself in front of her again the door opens, revealing a groups of people waiting for you to follow them to the nearest bar.  

You just wave goodbye and wish Jungwoo luck.

[…] 

Later that night Jungwoo searched for you online. He wasn’t brave enough to send a request, though. He felt cheesy for being like that, just appreciating your face once again by a picture someone else took. But it was not all about looks. It was about you all. Something just felt warm inside him while watching a stupid video Jaehyun posted on your birthday.  

Was it the smile? Was it the cozy voice? He didn’t know for sure, but it made him feel even worse for not being fearless.  

He was a coward afterwards.  

[…] 

You couldn’t bare the pain in your neck anymore, even after trying to stretch or taking pain-killers. You decided to go home for the day, you wouldn’t be much productive editing the pictures with that annoying pinch keeping all your attention for itself.  

“Excuse me!” the sweet voice reached your ears when you were just about to leave the building.  

“Yes?” you frowned. That face was somehow familiar. 

“Uh- well... I was here last weekend on the photoshoot...’’ You still couldn’t link it. 

“Sorry, I don’t recall. Are you a staff member?”  

“Not exactly. Well, I was... one of the models.” Oh. It wasn’t hard to say why you weren’t able to recognize her (him? they?). 

They still were tall as hell, the baby face had pretty much the same features and naive expressions, but it all just felt so different. The person right in front of you now seemed like someone else. 

“I think I remember now.” you said trying to conceal your surprise. “How can I help?” 

There it was again. Ears turning red, just as the tip of the nose, confused face and shrunken shoulders. Just as adorable as you could remember. 

“I actually... Hm...” 

“The pictures aren’t ready yet, if that’s what you’re here for. It takes some time.” 

“No!” they answered louder than you expected, getting you surprised. “I... actually came to.. Uh, talk to you.” 

“Me?” you didn’t mean to sound as surprised as you actually did.  

“I’m so sorry! I swear I’m not a weirdo. I just didn’t have the chance to talk to you that much that day, and I was wondering if... Well, if y-you...” 

No. The answer was already set on your mind before you could even think about the painful pinch on your neck. But that was when you realized it wasn’t there anymore. You frown in confusion and run your fingers through the back of your head. Everything is just fine. 

“Ok.” you said before thinking well, interrupting the other while getting lost on their own words. “What about grabbing some coffee?” 

They were not a dog, but for a second you could swear you saw a wagging tail when they opened that bright smile right in front of your eyes. 

[…] 

So Kim Jungwoo was indeed a guy.  

The whole ‘’dressing’’ as girl thing had a story behind it, before you could get angry at him. No that you had a real reason for that, but as Ten would say “getting mad at boys is you favorite sports”. But even though, he was way different from all the other boys you had ever met.  

Adorable wasn’t the only word to describe him. He was... sweet (?) Like genuinely.  Not the kind of “am I cute?” sweet, the real sweetness. The one kids lose once they grow up. The one that makes us love animals because they’re just too pure for this world.  And you hated yourself for feeling so much at ease with a guy as you did with Jungwoo. 

You knew his intentions. Growing up with two older brothers and being friends with Johnny made you a kind of expert when it comes to know that guys are into you. Yet, you couldn’t help but smile at each sweet expression he’d let off whenever you said something that caught him out of guard.  

[…] 

Keeping in touch with Jungwoo was just natural.  

People tend to say they never really realize they fell in love, but you’d never forget that friday night, when he texted you a “I wanna see you soon.”.  

What is this? You thought to yourself, holding onto your phone tightly, staring at the ceiling wondering since when were you anticipating seeing Jungwoo that much. What exactly was that cozy warmness inside your chest. 

[…] 

“I like you.” Jungwoo closed his eyes when the words came out, becoming real. 

It had been a month since the first time you thought he was adorable. And now, right in front of that playground somewhere nearby your house, on that cold november noon, he was being adorable once again. 

He didn’t dare to take your hands. He knew you well to know how suspicious you were with skinship, what got you smiling. You moved one step forward, getting closer to the taller cute boy, taking one of his hands on yours. 

“I know.” 

“Since when?” he sighs deeply. You wish you were brave enough to check up his expression. I bet his ears are red, you thought.  

“Since day one.” you laugh when his lamentation moan reaches your ears, at the same time he decides to lay his head on your shoulder.  

“That’s so unfair.” he sighs once again, that’s when you feel the urge to pet his head. At the first touch he gets surprised, since touching wasn’t really something between the two of you. “I’m sorry.” 

“There’s nothing to be sorry for.” you smile, although you knew he couldn’t see it.  

Gathering all his strength, he takes a step back to face you. “And... What’s your answer?” 

You laugh. “You know I have a soft spot for you and there’s no way I’d say no when you’re looking at me like that.”. 

And when he pouts at you with that ridiculously adorable face you can’t help but hugging him. “You were special since the first second. Thank you for that.” 

He hugs you back and now you’re able to feel his heartbeat, which gets you a bit worried since it was way faster than people consider healthy. 

“I never cared when people gave me compliments. But that day, when you said I was beautiful, I felt you were looking through me. It was not about being a guy, being a girl, not even about being attractive. It was about... me. I’m the one to thank you.” 

You smile while petting his back. “You’re beautiful, Jungwoo.” 

And he was. 

Kim Jungwoo was the prettiest thing that had ever crossed your path. 

[sabraeal]

Insult on Top of Injury

The Wide Florida Bay | Previous

Written for @vivianwisteria‘s birthday...which just so happened to be right when I was in the hospital, not able to work on anything. But at least this time it’s only a month late! She requested a Wide Florida Bay piece, specifically the moment Obi comes out to Zen...and how could I refuse >:3

This is a fucking disaster.

In his heart of hearts, Obi knew there was no way this conversation wouldn’t have hit like a brick, no matter when or how they had it. As much as Doc insisted that her and Zen were over, that they’d pretty much failed to launch in the first place--

Well, Obi had known that wasn’t the way Chief saw it. You don’t have a deep heart to heart on a yacht about liking the same girl without picking up a few things about how your romantic non-rival thinks things are going. God, he’d told him to propose to her.

Three-years-ago Obi was such a dumb fuck. Good thing no one listens to him.

Three-years-from-now Obi is going to be thinking the same fucking thing about him right now, he can just feel it. Well, as long as that asshole finishes his thesis, he can think whatever he likes.

He shakes his head, looking in the mirror. Now’s really not a good time to be yucking it up over how good Future Obi is going to have it, not when Present Obi is currently wondering if this bathroom is fancy enough for him to have a window to climb out of.

Not that he would. He’s left Doc out there, awkwardly making conversation with the happy couple and her shell-shocked ex-boyfriend, and though she has a gift for smoothing things over, this is--

It’s a lot. Especially when said ex-boyfriend didn’t realize that he’s been one for the last six months.

Fuck. Obi slams his palm onto the metal lip of the sink-- or rather, trough, since this isn’t just a fancy-ass fake Mexican place, but the kind that has rustic-yet-modern details like brushed metal trough sinks and exposed beams and something that might actually be adobe.

“This is fucking ridiculous,” he tells the mosaic bird beneath his feet, and sticks his head right under the faucet.

Ah, that’s right-- the best part about fancy places like this is when he turns on the tap, the water is actually fucking freezing. And if no one is around to hear him yelp like a little baby when it hits his neck, so much the better.

“Fuck,” he gasps, rearing back out of the stream. “Fuck.”

Obi meets the gaze of his own reflection, and god, does he not need the judgement he sees right now.

“I get it,” he tells Mirror Obi, watching the water drip through the bristle of his hair, leaving tracks down his forehead. “I fucked up. Bad.”

Not like he could have done much. He’d wanted to believe Doc too much, wanted to believe that the past two years had all been leading straight to this, to them; that it hadn’t been a meandering path that circled around and sometimes even through her floundering relationship.

Still, he probably could have texted. Hey Chief, just want you to know I’m fucking Doc now. Just as good as I thought it would be. XOXO.

Oh yeah, that would have gone so well. He can just tell.

Obi shakes himself, water spraying over the trough. He’s gotta pull it together. He can’t stay in this fancy fake Mexican bathroom all night. Doc would kill him.

No, not kill-- Doc would never be so violent. She’d just give him that sad pout and say things like, I’m not upset, I’m just disappointed, and make him wish they had a yard so he could go sleep in the doghouse where he belongs. Whoever said, there are fates worse than death has definitely met Shirayuki when she’s disappointed.

He scrubs a hand down his face. Time to face the tapas. Ain’t like things are gonna go any less sideways in here.

The door easily swings open under his hand; it’s almost a disappointment. It lacks the proper gravitas of a man going to his own disembowelment.

A disembowelment that is going to happen about two minutes earlier than he expected with far less of a crowd, if Kiki’s expression is any indication.

“Kiki!” There’s a reddish cast to the shadows around her, thanks to the great big EXIT sign she’s underneath, which lends an artful level of menace to the situation. God, he wishes she wasn’t between him and the door. “Just getting some fresh--?”

She levers herself off the wall, swaggering right into his personal space. It’s both super hot and pants-pissingly terrifying; something that would be right up his ally if he both wasn’t in the best relationship of his life and bone-shakingly certain he was about to die.

“Go talk to him.”

He blinks. “Come again?”

“Go talk to him.” It’s strange; he’s always thought of Kiki as a giant, as a woman who maybe couldn’t look dead into his eyes but at least came close, but standing like this she’s-- small. Human. “Please.”

“I don’t...” He sighs, shoulders rounding. “What am I even going to say to him?”

“Everything,” she tells him, forbidding. “Anything. Just keep using words until this is better. You’re good at that.”

He chokes on a laugh. Sounds more like Doc’s specialty than his; whenever he runs his mouth off he just gets into situations like this.

“Princess, I would love to oblige you,” he manages, “but I’m not sure that’s possible.”

“We’re only here because none of you can just--” she makes an aborted gesture and steps up into him, so close he can smell the spice on her breath. “Make it possible.”

He laughs. “How?”

She pokes him square in the chest. It hurts. “Use. Your. Words.”

His hair dries the instant he steps outside, because if there’s one thing Florida’s good at, it’s being hot as fuck. And humid as fuck.

Use your words. Obi sighs. Easy for Kiki to say; she barely uses any. He’s been spouting them all night, and they’re still here: in a fancy tapas restaurant trying to masquerade as a humble taqueria, with Chief taking a long walk on its short pier. Literally.

Obi trudges down the stairs to the shoreline, hands buried in his pockets. Here he is, all dressed up-- he wore a button-down for this; hell, he wore slacks too, and that’s what really killing him before the breeze kicks up-- and still everything has turned into a shitshow. He ate his tapas, made good conversation, broke the news gently, and--

It’s no good. He can try as much as he likes, but the fuck up here is still him.

He drags his glare off his shoes when he hits the planks, and it’s like he walked right into one of those GQ shoots: Zen’s all artfully disheveled, leaning on the rail with the sort of brooding, thousand-yard stare that cameras love. He’s half-tempted to slip out his phone and take a pic himself, except that memorializing the moment he royally fucked up a friendship seems like a bad idea, psychologically. Definitely a choice the therapist back at Wistal would have spent a good hour on.

“Hey,” he says, trying to be casual, as if there was anything casual about chasing after your bro after you inform him you’re sort of fucking the girl he got off the plane thinking he was still dating.

He shakes himself. No, not-- it’s not fucking. He’s dating Doc. Seriously. God, this is literally the most serious he’s ever been. This is real.

Though, there is definitely a lot of fucking. A lot more than he’d imagined there would be, if the planets aligned and Shirayuki looked at him like how he looks at her even a little.

Zen stiffens, shoulders springing up to his ears like the pickets on a fence, like he can keep Obi’s bullshit out if he puts enough of a barrier between them. Which...fair.

Obi sidles up next to him, bracing his hand on the rail, and breathes. The salt stings his lungs, his eyes, and god, hadn’t they done this before? It’s only been three years, but that night on the Wisteria yacht feels like ages ago, like another lifetime entirely.

He had shitty feelings then too. Just blurted out I like Doc like an idiot.

Use your words, that’s what Kiki said. Obi grimaces. Look how well all that turned out.

“What’s the deal with the dock?” he says, regret instantly washing over him. Why on earth did Kiki think he could do this? “Like one of those big overhang decks? I could get that. But a dock? Seems excessive.”

The silence is disheartening, but Obi can’t say he doesn’t expect it. Small talk isn’t really a thing you do when everyone’s realized there’s been an overlap in boyfriend eras.

“It’s really more of a wharf,” Zen says, like he’s dredging up each word. “Lots of little piers all together.”

“Oh, well,” he drawls, mouth twitching. This he can work with. “Sorry. What’s up with the wharf?”

Zen shrugs, shoulders practically creaking from the effort. “It’s a thing waterfronts do. People have houses down here, and they like to have a reason to show off their boat to all the neighbors.”

Obi can’t help it, he stares. “So they drive it to the nearest fine dining establishment?”

Zen casts a confused look back at the restaurant. “I mean, it isn’t that nice.”

God, rich kids.

“If you say so, Chief.”

Silence settles over them, as comfortable as a wet blanket-- ugh, or maybe that’s just the humidity; they really should be having this conversation where there’s air conditioning. Or never. But never isn’t an option, not unless he wants to lose this, and--

And whatever else happens, he can’t. Doc might have been the one to clean him up and tame him, but Zen was the one that pulled him out of the dumpster. He had every reason to keep on driving, to leave him sitting in a vat of fried pickle juice, but instead he stopped. Instead he offered a hand.

It wasn’t a kindness he deserved. He’d known that then, and he knew it even better now. But Zen saw something in him, something not even he had seen, and--

And he needs that.

“So, ah,” Obi coughs, staring out at the marina across the bay. “Back in the restaurant. That was, ah, a lot, right?”

Zen doesn’t answer him, doesn’t even look at him, but Obi’s watching him from the corner of his eye, and he sees his mouth pull thin. Yeah, this was probably not the most graceful way to bring this up. Probably should have stuck with small talk.

He clenches his jaw. Whatever, in for a penny, in for a pound, and quite frankly if they don’t clear the air, Kiki might kill him.

“Yep,” he says, glaring out over the water. “You’re right. Just a whole ton. Really fucking heav--”

“This was my worst nightmare,” Zen croaks, the words nearly lost on the breeze. “You know that?”

Considering he wakes up in a cold sweat two nights out of seven, convinced Doc’s come to her senses and left him only to find out she’s gotten up to pee-- yeah, he knows that. Inside and out.

Probably...probably not the best time to say so.

“I knew the whole thing was a risk,” Zen admits, with a rueful laugh. “I mean, you told me you liked her, and I sent you after her anyway.”

Obi stiffens. “You didn’t send me here. Shidan offered me a spot, and I chose to come.”

“Right, sure, but I encouraged you,” he says, elbows leaning heavy on the rail. “I told you that you could do it-- that you should do it. And I-- I knew then too. Even without you telling me.” He laughs, wry. “I made the stars align to get you here.”

His fingers clench around the wood. It’s true, he knows; his grades had been good, Garrack liked him, Shidan liked him, but abroad programs were a long shot, and he was not the sort of pony the admin department was apt to bet on. He’d always known there must have been a nudge, a whispered word over canapes, but--

But he really could have lived without knowing it. “Doc was with you.”

“Sure, but I’m fifteen hundred miles away, and you look like-- like that.” He waves a hand at him, cheeks flushed. “And you were interested.”

The rail creaks under his grip. “I never--”

“No, of course not,” Zen sighs. “But all you have to do is breathe and panties come off.”

Historically, it’s a fair assessment, but it’s like he’s forgotten that it’s Doc, the last person on earth who would be swayed by rippling abs and solid pecs. For two solid years she happily went without any sexy time whatsoever from her long-term boyfriend and thought that was a good thing, and it had nothing to do with how well he filled out his jeans. Unfortunately. Would have made a whole bunch of things a lot easier if it had.

“If you’d been interested in me, I would have--” Chief turns a painful red-- “I mean, if I was a girl. Not--”

If Zen had known, he would have done more than eyefuck you for an entire year.

It’s strange how that’s all it takes for things to come into focus. It’s not about Doc, it’s not even about him, it’s--

“I just thought if this was going to happen, it wouldn’t have taken so long,” Zen continues, hunching over the rail. “I thought you’d just...jump each other or something, and it’d be over.”

--It’s about him.

“I should have paid more attention,” he sighs, morose. “I just thought that I knew you--”

“Hey, while we’re talking about stuff,” Obi blurts out, wishing he could stop hearing Kiki’s voice, wishing he could stop thinking, just talk about everything until this is fixed, “you know, stuff we haven’t talked about...”

Zen turns to him, wide-eyed, and god, this is a really bad fucking idea.

“You should know,” he says, striving for a casualness that isn’t even in the same zip code as his anxiety, “I’m bi.”

The word sits between them like a lead weight, like cement shoes.

“W-what?” Zen manages, and god, he’s almost purple.

“Listen, Kiki said that--” he shakes his head-- “never mind. I just-- it seemed like you should know, and honestly, it’s not like you can really get more mad at me at this point, so--”

“I’m not-- I’m not mad.” He is a little breathless, which is interesting to say the least, and there’s not an exposed sliver of skin on him that isn’t pink. “I just-- why are you telling me? It’s not like I’m-- that I--”

“Kiki said we were flirting all of sophomore year,” he says before the kid can hurt himself. “So it felt pertinent to the conversation, I guess.”

“What? I wasn’t--” he sputters before his words dry up. “Wait. We were flirting?”

God, he really has a type, doesn’t he? “Yeah. You know--” he turns to him, letting his mouth take a sly slant-- “before Tanbarun, I could have gone for blonds or red heads.”

Zen stares. “What does Kiki have to do with--? Oh.” His jaw goes slack. “Oh. So you were...?”

“Flirting? Yeah.” He slides closer, brow arched. “Thought I was being obvious too.”

Chief’s mouth works for a moment, eyes darting to take in this new distance, and he blurts out, “I thought you were joking!”

Yuzuri’s right; he needs to work on his game if the result is resoundingly, I thought you weren’t interested.

He grins, dropping his voice. “Ryuu says I like to joke, but I never lie.”

It’s fun to see Chief like this, stuttering and unsure, face so red he’s worried about what it means for brain function. “But you-- you said-- on the yacht--”

Obi doesn’t point out that the yacht was a good six months after Tanbarun, that by then he’d been long gone on Doc. Whatever potential had been brewing between them had cooled, Obi’s heart settling into the long haul of pining for a girl he’d thought would never see him as more than a friend.

Mostly because it’s funnier this way.

He leans in, close enough that his breath stirs the baby-fine wisps at his hairline. “I said I liked you.”

He’d meant it, too, but not the way he would have months earlier, wondering if Chief’s furtive post-shower glances were as speculative as his were. On that yacht, his whole body had been quivering, an arrow ready to be loosed. He just needed Zen to point him south.

“I also said you had great eyes,” Obi reminds him, smirking. “And a great ass.”

Zen’s mouth pulls flat, and just like that the spell is broken. “You said you liked Shirayuki, too. And you definitely meant that differently.”

Yeah, he’d meant to say he loved her, but it seemed kinda gauche to say in front of her boyfriend.

“Maybe,” he teases with a shrug, “but you’re both my type. Stubborn, cute--” he slides his hand along the rail until they’re almost touching, looming over him-- “short.”

“All right.” Chief puts a hand to his chest and shoves. “Joke’s over.”

Obi stumbles away, pressing his palm to his heart with a theatrical gasp. “Why, your lordship, would I ever lie to you?”

Zen’s mouth pulls thin. “No. I know that you’re-- being honest about that. But you’re definitely trying to fuck with me.”

“Can you blame me?” he asks with a grin. “I don’t envy your complexion at all, chief. You give everything away.”

“Ha-ha.” Zen gives him a withering look. “First short jokes, now this. You definitely seem contrite.”

“Hey, I am. I never--” he shakes his head-- “we weren’t trying to hurt you. We just--”

“No, I get it.” He hangs his head with a humorless laugh. “I wasn’t part of the equation. I stopped being one a long time ago and then just...never noticed.”

Obi grimaces. It sounds so much worse when he says it, all out loud and stuff.

It doesn’t make it any less true.

Zen coughs, awkward. “Hey, uh, listen. As long as we’re being honest...”

Every muscle in his body tenses, but Obi takes a breath-- takes two breaths, because this is going to be heavy, talking about Atri, talking about what it’s like to feel like you’re carrying around a secret no one will understand-- and leans oh-so-casually against the rail. “Yeah?”

Nailed it.

Zen squares himself off, like he’s expect a fight-- no, like he’s expecting a punch, and he’s ready to take it--

“I’ve been seeing Kihal.”

Obi stares. “Uh, what?”

“C-casually!” he clarifies, springing back from the rail and shuffling down the pier like he hasn’t dropped an absolute bomb. “It’s not-- not anything serious or anything. Just, you know. Coffee. And dinner.” With a guilty expression he mutters, “And breakfast.”

Obi stands there blinking like an idiot. “Come again?”

“Listen, I know it’s...” He grimaces, realizing there’s no more rail to hold this far out, and holds up his hands instead. “I know I said that nothing had changed for me, but I guess--” he sighs, hanging his head-- “on some level I knew. Shirayuki was pulling away.

“That doesn’t make it right,” he continues, “but even though we hadn’t said anything, I knew it was over. No--” he shakes his head-- “I wasn’t even thinking about it. Shirayuki wasn’t even really a consideration.”

He can’t even think from how loud his mind is screaming. “So you came down here to...what? Break up with Doc?”

Zen grimaces. “I mean, it sounds so bad when you--” Obi glares-- “yeah. Yes. I guess. Something like that.”

“So what you’re saying,” Obi deadpans, “is that I suffered through that whole dinner, your huge ass guilt trip monologue, and this conversation...and you’re seeing someone else?”

“Well, gently,” he argues lamely. “Not like you guys, when you’re, you know, practically married--”

His arm moves on its own.

His palm juts out, taking Zen right in the chest, and he stumbles for a single step in his boat shoes before he falls ass-first right into the bay. A jolt of concern wracks him in the second it takes Chief to emerge, bobbing and gasping, linen shirt soaked all the way through to transparency, and is gone just as quick.

“What,” he gasps, hands flailing for the dock, “was that for?”

Obi grins. His arm might have moved on its own, but he definitely approves. “Really?”

Zen deflates, arms crossing over the planks to hold him. “Okay, this is fair.”

He crouches down, meeting his wide-eyed gaze. “You think?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Zen holds out his hand. “Just help me up.”

“My pleasure, master,” he teases, grasping his hand, and--

And it’s only once he’s tilting, boards no longer under his feet, that he realizes: that’s the oldest trick in the book.

From the pier, the shore had looked a lot closer. It takes a significant amount of actual swimming until he’s able to brush his toes against the bottom-- though he’ll admit, half of it is because there’s no cool, convenient way to swim with clothes on. Doggie paddle is inefficient, but actual strokes look like you’re trying too hard, so they make due with some weird combination of both with some freestyle cussing.

“So,” Zen coughs, once his own feet can touch, a good few feet after Obi can. “Did you like Mitsuhide too? I mean, since you wanted to kiss everyone?”

In Obi’s opinion, the fact that his top three sexual fantasies in Wistal involved either Zen, Kiki, or Doc showed some real discerning standards, like some real Gray Goose level taste, but he understands-- the point’s lost on Zen. He’s in his mid-twenties and can count the number of people he’s wanted to catch in a dark corner on one hand. They’re different people, it’s cool.

“Nah,” he sighs, shaking out his hair. Zen hisses as some of the water sprays him. “I mean, if I didn’t know him, I’d fuck him in a second, but--” he hesitates-- “No, wait, scratch that. I’d let him fuck me, but--”

“OKAY,” Zen yelps, pushing past him. “Conversation over! Too much information!”

Obi grins at his back. “You did ask.”

“Yeah,” Zen huffs, trudging faster, “and now I definitely regret it.”

“Hey,” he croaks, feet finally finding purchase-- as long as he cranes his neck up. It hurts like a bitch, but it’s giving him a great view of the shoreline. “Does that look like--?”

“Kiki’s waiting for us?” Chief finishes faintly. “Yeah, it does.”

He’d grimace if it wasn’t going to get more water down his throat. “Does she look...pissed?”

“I can’t tell from here.” Zen gives him a flat look. “Are you a betting man?”

It’s not much of a gamble with these odds. “How about we just swim up...super slow?”

“Yeah,” he agrees, quickly. “Sounds great. Let’s just take our time.”

The water laps at their thighs-- well, his thighs, Chief’s waist-- when Obi finally clears his throat and asks, “So Kihal.”

Zen tenses beside him. “Yeah?”

“You really--” man, this sounded better in his head-- “like her?”

“Yeah.” Zen sends him a wary glance. “I think...yeah. There’s something there.”

“Good.” Considering how much there it sounds like Chief’s experienced, there better be. “She’s good people. I wouldn’t want anyone to be playing around with her.”

To his everlasting surprise, Zen laughs. Has a good old fashioned guffaw right there as they marinate in fish shit and whatever runoff this restaurant is paying the inspectors to miss. “What?”

“Nothing, it’s just--” he shakes his head, hair almost translucent between the sun and the water-- “she did not like you back in the day.”

“According to Doc, she thought I was hot back in the day,” Obi says, basking in Chief’s unstifled ugh. “And then was extremely betrayed when I ended up being an asshole.”

“That does sound exactly like her,” Zen admits with a begrudging fondness. Obi dares a glance in his direction, and-- yep, lovesick smile.

“I’ve since made up for it,” he assures him, hand pressed humbly to his chest. “But she also likes to text me every few weeks to remind me she could kick my ass.”

“Also sounds exactly like her.” Zen ducks his chin, awkward. “It’s good though.”

“I’d say so. I could live out my Zorro dreams if I let Elena de la Vega--”

“Please do not finish that thought,” Chief pleads, eyes rolled heavenward. “I just meant it would suck if one of my best friends didn’t get along with my girlfriend.”

Obi has to take a moment. A whole ass moment while he tries to remember how breathing and not crying work.

Chief claps him on the back, expression etched with worry. “You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah.” He coughs, and ugh, some ugly cry phlegm comes out. “Just-- there’s pollen or something. My chest got all tight.”

“Right.” Zen squeezes his shoulder with a grin. “I know this is all-- weird.”

“Terrible,” Obi corrects.

“Right, it’s godawful.” He sighs. “But I won’t lose you over being dumb. Either of you.”

“Cool, yeah” He nods, and ugh, makes the worse sniffling noise. “Also-- girlfriend? I thought you said this wasn’t anything serious.”

He’s eaten lobsters less red than Chief, he’s pretty sure. “Shut up.”

“Somehow,” rings a cold voice from the shore as they pick their way over the sharp shells near the shore, “this is even stupider than I thought it would be.”

Obi winces. Ah yes, going slow would have been a great plan, if Kiki was going get to tired of waiting. Now she’s only had time to age her anger, like the wines in the Seiran basement.

Zen gulps, audibly. “It’s not my--”

She holds up a hand, whipping out her phone and flicking through screens so fast that a deep pit of dread forms in his gut. Oh, she’s not just pissed, she’s officious.

They are fucked.

“W-what are you doing?” Zen asks, faint. If he was a lobster before, he’s its ghost now, pale as a sheet.

“Ordering you an Uber.” She says it the same way men in the spy business might say waterboarding.

“W-wha--”

“I’m glad to see you’ve both worked out being idiots,” she tells them, mouth curving, just for a moment, into something like a smile. “But there is absolutely no way you’re getting into Mitsuhide’s car like that.”

Kiki regards the two of them, dripping into the bay in their nice clothes, from down the length of her nose. “The restaurant will lend you some towels for the ride. We’ll meet you back at the hotel.”

She strides away, disappearing up the stairs, toward the street.

“Well,” Zen sighs, dragging himself out. “That could have gone worse.”

“No.” Obi shivers, giving him a boost. “She’s just leaving the rest for Doc.”

Zen freezes, halfway up the retaining wall. “Oh. We’re fucked then.”

“Yeah,” he grunts, “now you’re starting to see the picture.”

[bennyboyjones]

The Getaway (Ben Hardy Fanfic) Chapter Four

A/N: Hi! So, here is chapter 4 to my Ben Hardy AU Fanfic! There are currently several chapters written, which you can find on Wattpad, but I’ve decided to also upload it here as well. It might be a bit behind, but you’ll still get all the chaps eventually.

What it is: basically, a girl from a small town who is bored of her life decides to take a trip to Nice where she runs into ben, who is also running away from some shit and some romance ensues.

Word count: 3.7k

in this chapter: hahahaha just read it pls

WATTPAD LINK IF YOU WANT TO READ AHEAD

Spotify playlist

In case you missed it: MASTERLIST

day four

We were taking a walk up to Jardin des Arènes de Cimiez which was a gorgeous garden with ruins and was where the Cimiez Monastery was located. Ben let me decide what we were doing today after I shot down his idea of café hopping which I was sure he had suggested just to make fun of me.

It was going to be a relatively long walk up to the garden but I didn’t mind since it was a really nice day. We were planning to meet at Brassiere L’Olympia, which was where the place he was renting out was located (well, the place he was staying was above it) at around one in the afternoon.

I had woken up early so I could finally take a trip to the grocery store, had a breakfast that consisted of two coffees and two croissants, and went through at least four outfits before landing on one that was comfortable enough to survive the forty-five minute uphill walk and cute enough that it would make a better impression on Ben than what I had worn the night before. My dress was short, hitting an inch or two above my mid-thigh, it was a-line, only leaving a bit of wiggle room between my lower body and the fabric and had a small ruffle running around the bottom edge. It was white with lemons and green leaves and the top was tight, a small ruffle running at the neckline which showed a little bit of my (almost non-existent) cleavage and the straps were thick, tying into bows on my shoulders. It was sweet, but still a little sexy and matched well with white sneakers. I styled my hair into soft curls even though I knew I was going to end up putting it up at some point and kept my makeup as simple as I did on my first night: a red lip and a little mascara.

I had about an hour until I had to meet him and was a bit surprised he never called or texted to confirm.

Last night, before we parted ways, he personally entered his number into my phone and sent himself a text just to make sure that it worked. We had talked about our plans for today for almost thirty minutes last night, planning the day down to every detail, but I still felt uneasy about the fact that I hadn’t heard from him yet this morning. I knew that just because he didn’t text me or call me to make sure we were still on didn’t mean that we weren’t, because I hadn’t reached out to him either and I was pretty sure of our plans. Still, to settle the nervousness in my stomach, I picked up my phone and shot him a text letting him know I would be heading there soon. If he wanted to cancel, this was his chance.

I was completely lost in the excitement of something new. I called my mom last night, after getting back from the date to tell her about everything. All she did was laugh at me and tell me that I was way too deep into something that had only just begun. I knew she was right, but I didn’t stop myself from concocting romantic scenarios in my head last night about all the things that could happen today. This was my problem: I fell extremely easily. It took almost nothing for me to be completely enchanted by someone. I found myself crushing on guys I passed by once on the street, on guys who simply dressed nice, or wore chains (this really got me). But something about Ben felt different, like it was more than just a crush or infatuation. It felt as if it could really turn into something despite our inevitable doom in the form of my trip being over. When I said this to my mom, she laughed harder, “The amount of times I've heard this same speech while you were abroad…Don’t take my laughter wrong,” she said when she heard my annoyed sigh on the other end, “I’m happy for you, I really am—just slightly worried too.”

I had also texted my friends about him and they were requesting daily updates which I was more than happy to supply. I was in the middle of texting Annie back when I looked at the time and realized that I had to leave in the next five minutes if I wanted to be on time. I also realized that Ben never responded.

I went anyway and waited for him a lot longer than I should’ve. At the point where he was thirty minutes late, I decided to go without him, refusing to let being stood up spoil my day.

I really couldn’t wrap my mind around it; why go through all of that yesterday to stand me up? It didn’t make any sense and I knew that there had to be a good reason. If he genuinely didn’t want to see me or wasn’t interested he could’ve made it so much easier for himself; he didn’t have to speak up when he saw me in the cafe, he didn’t have to sit down or ask me to dinner, he didn’t have to ask me to get a drink, or call it a date, or demand to see me today. The only reasoning that made sense was that something had actually come up, but he could’ve given me a call, or answered my text to at least let me know that he couldn’t make it.

The walk up to the garden was taxing, it had only been fifteen minutes and I felt my breath getting short and my calves start to burn. I had my headphones in, the lady from Google Maps interrupting the voice of Matty Healy every few minutes to tell me where to turn.

I loved the style of the buildings and their colors, I loved the little patches of green and flowers in between car lanes and that heavily trafficked bridge I needed to cross had a footpath. I was about halfway there when my phone ‘dinged’ with a text.

*text pic*

I swiped back to the maps and locked my phone ignoring it, trying to focus on the landmarks I could use to find my way back without Google so I wasn’t costing myself an insane amount in data charges.

It was nice that he was sorry and I knew that I should be nice because he probably did have a good reason, but I was still mad and slightly hurt. Also, he just noticed the time? It was almost two p.m, what was he doing that an entire hour slipped by?

I took a deep breath when I got another notification.

*rest of text pic*

I told myself I wouldn’t go to dinner, that I wouldn’t give in without any kind of fight, but I knew myself better than that. I knew at some point today I would ending listening to his apology and explanation.

I let out a big sigh of relief when I saw the sign for the garden; I was sweating and out of breath and having to face the fact that I was severely out of shape. There were a good amount of people milling around the park that was just on the outside of the garden. There was a family playing some game with large ceramic balls, a few older men playing chess, and a few kids running around while their parents spoke to each other a few feet away.

The garden was filled with ruins, large white buildings falling apart and short walls of stone that may have at one time been tall, creating a grid-like maze over the field of grass. Arches were crumbling and I carefully made my way under them, easily getting lost in the field of stone. There was moss growing between bricks, some sprouting small flower-like weeds. I took pictures to send to my mom and then a few on the disposable, knowing how fairytale-like the garden would look on film, because it was fairytale-like. I could see it in a movie, or as an illustration in a story book. I found myself taking careful steps, afraid of disturbing the peace that seemed to belong there. It was quiet and I was the only one there, wandering around, running my hand along something ancient and beautiful.

I found a set of cement steps that seemed relatively new in comparison to the other paths I had walked and followed them up. There were a lot of steps, which took me further uphill. At the end, there was a large gate made of metal and stone which opened to the monastery. It was the color of copper but lighter, and looked so gothic with its arched windows and sharp spires. The architecture was beautiful, with stone laced over stone, ornate designs covering the entire outside. I moved past it and into its garden which was in full bloom.

I walked under arches covered in green, rows of blue, pink, red, and yellow flowers, bright under the sun and dancing with the breeze that came from our height. I strolled under latticed bowers and thought of Coleridge and his Lime Tree and took a deep breath, trying to make myself relax. I felt a well of emotion inside of me—it was all so beautiful and peaceful. I could hear the wind rustling leaves and whistling as it went through arch ways.

When I finally reached the ledge, I felt my breath get caught in my chest. It was the most amazing thing I had ever seen: all of Nice, laid out in front of me like a picture that needed painting. I sat on one of the benches that faced the view and took all of it in. I could see the mountains and the beach, the multicolored buildings filling the space between. I saw trees and patches of parks and gardens. I saw churches and cars the size of my hand.

And I started to cry. I had seen this view before and it had moved me in a way that I couldn’t explain, just as it had done now. There was something in that, being alone, on that hill, seeing everything in the quiet. There was something humbling about being there and seeing everything, having the view of a god.

I closed my eyes and let the breeze brush over my face and wished I could stay there forever. I never wanted that moment to end. I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to get that feeling back, but I was reliving it as if it were the first time. It was in moments like that I stopped worrying about the shit that brought me there in the first place and just felt immense gratitude. I felt it weigh heavy on my chest, reminding me how lucky I was to be there, how lucky I was that I got to experience that level of beauty.

I felt someone sit at the other end of the bench causing it to tilt with the welcome of their weight. I opened my eyes and tried to sneakily wipe my tears away so whoever it was didn’t think I was crazy. I didn’t look at them, keeping my eyes trained on the view in front of me.

“I’m sorry I stood you up.”

I looked over at the sound of his voice and saw Ben sitting at the end of the bench. I wasn’t very surprised, since he seemed to have a habit of showing up in places I didn’t expect him to. I didn’t say anything, but stared at him.

“I really wanted to do this with you today. Really, I did—I guess I still kind of am.” He tried out a light laugh but stopped once he saw that I didn’t react. He moved closer to me so we were only a few inches apart. “Seriously, I wanted to be here. I wanted to see it all with you, I did. I just…” He trailed off. When I still didn’t say anything and turned my attention back to the view, he rested one arm on the bench behind me and ran his other hand over his face.

I knew I was being cold and a huge part of me wanted to lean into his side, let him wrap his arm around me and accept his apology without any explanation. That part of me didn’t understand what the big deal was if I was so sure this would only be a fling, if none of this really mattered in the long run. But the part of me that was winning wouldn’t give it up that easy. I didn’t like being stood up and if I just let it slide without putting up a fight at all, what would stop it from happening again?

“I got a call from an ex…fiancé.”

I turned to him, “You were engaged?

“For a really short time, like three months and it ended almost a whole year ago. Calling it off was kind of the start of the reevaluation of my entire life.”

“You called it off?”

“Yeah…I didn’t even want to get married.” He laughed lightly.

I turned my entire body towards him, completely interested in this story, “So why get engaged?”

“We had been dating for two and a half years and I was twenty-six, it just seemed like what I was supposed to do—I don’t even think I was really in it anymore, you know? Like, I wasn’t there because I even wanted to be, but because it was easy.” He shrugged, “I know that sounds awful.”

It was my turn to laugh, “Oh, trust me, I know.” I took a breath, “I’ve been on and off with the same guy for years and I’ve come to realize that it’s been out of comfort and not so much love.”

He furrowed his brow, “So, right now, are you on or off?”

“Definitely off. I broke it off for real before I came here.”

“Oh, so I’m your rebound?”

I hit him lightly in the chest, “You’re not a rebound—well…” I joked.

He lifted his hand off the bench and twirled my hair around the ends of his fingers, “If I am, I’m okay with it.”

We were walking around the garden when I realized I was missing a huge chunk of the story, “Wait, you never told me why she called.”

“Who?” He looked confused before realization dawned on his face, “Oh! Well, obviously, we shared a flat while we were together and she stayed when we broke it off. My name isn’t on the lease anymore, but she still calls me whenever something is wrong as an excuse to talk.”

“Ah, she’s still not over you.”

“She was the one who wanted to get married, who was still in love and…I really hurt her, so I always take the call. She called because my mum told her I was here and was upset that I didn’t let her know about my trip.”

I nodded in understanding.

“It wasn’t a fun conversation to have. Then I called my mum and I lost track of time talking to her. I’m really sorry. I know I’ve said it about seven hundred times, but I’m not going to stop.”

I nudged him with my shoulder and told him he was forgiven.

“So your guy,” he offered his arm to me and I linked mine through, “what exactly am I up against?”

“Not much,” I admitted. “His name is Liam and I met him at school. He’s a business major, never really understood the writing thing, he’s good looking but,” I looked over at Ben; looked at eyes, how blond his lashes were, the way his Adams apple bobbed when he swallowed, the soft sunburn coloring his light skin, the way he pulled his bottom lip between his teeth, “he doesn’t look like you.”

He stopped walking, unlinked our arms and pulled me into a hug, “My ego just sky rocketed!”

“I didn’t know it could go any higher than it already has!” I laughed into his chest—which was broad, and hard, and the feeling of his arms around me left me burning. He pulled away, pretending to look insulted. “What?!”

“Wha-“ he started but I cut him off.

“C’mon, Ben! You have enough confidence for the entire continent of Europe. That night in the restaurant? Drinking out of my cup at the cafe? Showing up here?”

“But it’s sexy right?” He raised his eyebrows and tried to hold in his laugh. I pushed him away and kept walking but not before giving him a dramatic eye roll.

When he caught up to me, it was my turn to ask. “What about me? What’s my competition?”

“Pfft…” he looked at me as if I had to be kidding, “Are you serious?”

“Yes, I want to know!”

“Babe, there is no competition.”

“I hope that means I win.”

“It means you’re fittest girl I’ve ever seen.”

I shrugged and forced myself to act nonchalant, “I’ll take it.”

We walked around the garden a few more times, taking pictures of the view, the flowers, and each other. When I asked him if he was ready to go, he held up his phone, “Not until we get one of us.”

“Us?”

“Yeah, us. I just told you my entire life story, I think that makes us close enough to take a picture together.” I couldn’t argue with a good point. We stood at the edge in front of the view and he held up his phone, snapping several pictures before I was ready. After I complained and demanded retakes, we took ones smiling, making funny faces and a few of him with his arm around me kissing my cheek.

On our way back down, he asked if I wanted to have another picnic on the beach, to make up for last night.

“Make up for it? I don’t need a do-over, I thought it was amazing.”

“Josie, we sat on a bin bag!” He spoke slowly as if I wasn’t understanding his reasoning.

“I know, but it was still really sweet.”

“C’mon, please? I found a perfect spot on my way here. It’ll be great, I swear!”

“Fiiiiine.” I gave in, because it was still gorgeous out and I wasn’t going to pass up the opportunity to be alone with him. “But,” I started, “I need to go back and change first. I definitely smell and look all melted.”

“I think you look beautiful.” He said before throwing his arm back around me as we made it out of the garden and onto the sidewalk. I rolled my eyes. “Fine,” he said, “but I’m coming with you.”

Despite my half-baked protests the whole walk back about him coming back to the AirBnB, he ended up inside, sprawled out on the bed while I was trying to pick out an outfit. I already knew what I wanted to wear but was trying to stall having to get in the shower with him there. It was a studio, meaning there was no where for me to really hide and although I trusted that he wouldn’t try anything, since he swore it over and over again on the way down and since he still hadn’t tried to kiss me, I was still a little nervous.

I turned to him and held the apartment key out, “Why don’t you go and get the supplies while I get ready. I’ll send you the key code for downstairs.”

He smiled knowingly, “Sure, love. I’ll be back in a bit.” He rose from the bed and left quietly.

I let out a nervous breath, feeling so much more comfortable with him gone. I wanted to kiss him, and definitely fuck him, but him being on the other side of the door while I was in the shower was a level of intimacy I was not ready for.

It felt good to shower, to feel all the sweat and dirt slide off my body. I stepped out and wrapped the towel around my body while checking my phone to see whether or not Ben had gotten back yet. I didn’t see a text from him asking for the code (I was purposely waiting to give it to him so I knew when he was back and it was safe to leave the bathroom) meaning it was safe to step out.

“Oh, wow…” Ben’s eyes locked with mine and I jumped, not expecting him to be sprawled out on the bed as he was before.

“Fuck! Ben, you didn’t tell me you were back!” I pulled the towel tighter around my body.

He sat up, obviously sensing my discomfort and put a hand over his eyes, “I knocked on the door and told you I was back!”

“You didn’t text and ask for the code!”

“Someone was going in when I got back! I didn’t need it!” He stood up, hand still over his eyes, “Sorry,” he pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket, “I’m just gonna…” he held them up to me, “just text me when you’re okay with me coming back.”

I stifled a laugh as he backed out of the studio.

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

Museum of Mayhem Art Analysis

ahhh it’s finally here and it’s AWESOME. Lots of credit to @ifalnasminiatures for bringing this to my attention! Also credit to Hayder Hype for providing (nat zero six on gearbox forums) sources (Ashley Landry on twitter) in the description of his video because oh man it’s a lot

you can view most of these art pieces on the borderlands instagram as well

lots to talk about especially regarding the calypso twins so let us dive right in

tl;dr: tyreen has a weird red marking on her face in some old designs. i think troy used to be blind and missing his metal plates. more proof for my elpis/chemical sludge/lost legion theory that the twins are using said chemical sludge to give their followers psuedo-siren powers bc a dahl pumping station (hyperion pumping stations on pandora) but dahl had a presence on the moon

one of my favorites, it reminds me a lot of the Mask of Mayhem, but for villains.

Punk Girl is shown again twice, probably further proving she’s tied in with the CoV somehow

we also got some crazy looking villains such as

baby face. which is all kinds of extremely fucked up

this dude who looks like he could be a miniboss with the glasgow smile and the cool goggles

this guy who i legitimately thought was dr zed for a hot second there

could it be

the evilest brother?? pfft nahhh

this girl who seems like she could be a unique character with a baseball cap. wondering if maybe she’s related to Punk Girl in any way. What’s the verdict on the other band members? 🤔

uhh let’s give it a solid maybe and move on

this piece! very interesting to me

so, the very first thing i noticed is zane’s eye patch being on the other eye lol

amara’s tattoos are also gone, however that might’ve been for reasons similar to the japanese cover art of the game. 

most interestingly is a point @ifalnasminiatures made and it’s that the calypso twins are actually palette swapped! you can see Troy is the one with the white hair and Ty is the one with the darker hair. which I think mayyy play into a few things we see later about the twins

we also see a tiny ship in the background. i can’t tell if that’s sanctuary-iii or the blue/yellow ship, it all blends together a lot due to the quality of the pic. but it is next to the calypso twins, which makes me want to believe it’s the blue/yellow ship we see with red markings all over it. you know this one from the mural of mayhem wallpapers

you can see the reddish markings on the back right next to the engines

then we have ummm

this cover art

😬

thanks for not using this one gearbox cuz 

oh my god

she just reminds me of suicide squad, that’s not a good image you wanna dredge up from the deep recesses of your fans’ brains

she might be a unique character given the clothes/hair? cuz you don’t normally see psychos with stilettos on. or yknow, shoes in general. the hair also seems way to clean and neat to be a psycho/cultist

i just feel uncomfortable looking at this, so moving on

a different logo. also not my favorite cover art, but at least im not physically uncomfortable looking at this. that poor girl’s pelvis... anyway

lots of silhouettes

interestingly, i feel like the roses might have been a thing they just put in for the new cover art. haven’t seen hide nor hair of them across any of the pictures i’ve seen.

we got a lot of figures. out of them i most definitely recognized amara, salvador, maya, another salvador?, zer0, moze (maybe?), and axton. i thiiink one of them is maya as well, but im not 100% on that. 

i can guess why they didn’t pick this one: it’s hard to tell who’s who. a lot of these poses make the silhouettes kinda hard to see and the merging together at the bottom makes things even worse. i do think it’s interesting there are some bl2 characters on here as well, but hayder hype mentioned they very well could be placeholders, and given that i can’t make out fl4k or zane, im inclined to believe him.

this art which was used during the promo for this event

rip elpis i guess LMAO

a better look at the psycho himself from the promo released by the borderlands twitter.

there’s a new red planet which hasn’t been shown off before, looks like a gassy planet kinda like jupiter, but interestingly it has this green crack in the side?

very reminiscent of pandora’s eridium scar. i am wondering if this is because this planet had a vault opened, or if it is tied to the Eridians at all. be interesting if it was their homeworld.

also i have no idea what the symbolism is in the homeworld destroying another planet but maybe we shouldn’t think about it too hard e_e

the other planet that’s being destroyed... idk fellas

it doesn’t match up to me but like, this is only one shot

i don’t know 🤔 if you really squint, maybe you can see that hint of purple at the bottom there?

here

tbh, i thought this was elpis the first time i saw it due to the cracks, but i figured elpis doesn’t have like continents across its surface, just craters. and wayyy more cracks.

so it’s probably not pandora and it’s probably not elpis.

huh...

i do think the actual shot is suspended above promethea, you can see the familiar asteroid belt surrounding it

there’s also a planet in the background,

which i imagine isn’t pandora bc no eridian scar

could be elpis or eden-6, or the 5th planet we don’t know about. i kinda get the feeling the 5th planet may be that gaseous red planet tho. which is probably going to be super weird to traverse now that i think about it. they said oz kits weren’t coming back, right? i wonder how that would work. hmmmm

there’s also this redder planet here which i actually DO think is Pandora. if you squint real hard u can see the purple from the eridian scar. plus the color matches up pretty well with the pictures provided above.

there’s also these two bodies over in the corner where the light is coming from. i can’t tell what they’re supposed to be

there are also these little dudes in the top right

i assume they’re maliwan? they remind me a lot of the maliwan drop ship things that fly overhead when you enter promethea

YESSS okay this is the start of some PRETTY WILD twin stuff

troy: missing his tattoos, blind in one eye, has a weird mark above his eyebrow. also, no metal bits!

Tyreen!!! with a red stripe across her left cheek going up to her eye??? no tattoos on her left arm as far as we can see, but that might be for marketing reasons (she’s also covering up part of her bicep). she’s also missing her coat and chains and wearing a different glove.

we also have a bunch of bl2 VHs taking up space. again i think hayder hype is right in that they’re simply placeholders. not much else to say, but 

this trend of Tyreen having red markings on her face and Troy being blind in an eye (or both) actually continues through a fair amount of these posters!!!

more cover art. one of my least favorites again... i just think it looks like the psycho is puking out the VHs. also, seems to be an older version of the psycho mask.

fl4k seems to be less rendered than the rest of the cast? like they have less detail, especially on their coat

also you can see an older looking space shuttle up at the top, which reminds me a lot of the one we use in TFTBL to get to helios. except less caravanny and more rockety

the splatter also reminds me of siren powers, with the purple and the glitter. it’s cool that it’s showing a different shot than what’s behind it. maybe a hint to siren powers because it’s sort of like a portal.

more puke! 

this time troy is blind in both eyes it seems,

tyreen seems to still have a mark on the left side of her face, im wondering if this ties into her scars at all? it doesn’t seem as prominent as the previous red mark.

Zane seems to have an actual eye patch instead of his more high-tech eye patch, which reminds me a lot of the leaked character concepts from like january i wanna say

amara seems to be dual wielding lol i wonder if originally that was going to be one of her 3 skills but then they were like “wait salvador. wait. nisha. FUC-”

also fl4k is being obscured by this weird saturn-like planet. let them be free!

moze is missing, the saturn like planet shows up 2 times total, and that blue/yellow ship is seen again behind troy

as for the purple stuff? you already know my theory that the twins are going to be using the chemical sludge on elpis to empower their followers. it could also just be straight eridium/slag. you know, like the testing from the WEP with bloodwing and even krieg. we’ll have to see. it would be interesting if they tied krieg into the story through there.

i do lowkey think it’s chemical sludge though, because some of it is actually glowing blue in places, you can see it clearly below amara’s feet. maybe some tie in to siren powers cuz they glow the same blueish color. who knoooows not i

big shot of this psycho here, looks like he’s crumbling. 

i really like the 4 VHs standing at the base with the elongated shadows. very dark vibes from this tho, probably not suitable for the series as a whole. i can see why maybe they decided not to do it. 

i wonder if we’ll see this giant psycho statue somewhere on pandora. it would certainly be a sight to behold. 

also i kinda wish we had cloaks like the concept art shows. cloaks are cool

more sketchy art. this one is also kinda strange, i definitely get why they decided not to go thru with it.

possibly tie-in with the ‘mother’ imagery we get on the propaganda signs across pandora.

lmfao the foot

very bl2 like, im glad they didn’t stick with this. i like that they decided to change things up

troy seems to be blind and also missing his metal implants on his face. his jacket also looks a lot different, it looks more like tyreen’s with the spikes and stuff across it. we also can’t see his metal arm at all, tho we do see his sword! which looks a lot different, im glad they decided to revamp it to be more visually interesting lol

tyreen is more interesting to me. it looks like her right arm has like a silver coating over it? unless that is a metal arm as well. she also is wearing a different kind of glove. her tattoos are missing as well, but again, it’s probably because of the cover art. her scars also definitely seem to have reached her left cheek at some point.

zane also looks a lot different, tho amara, moze, and fl4k look about the same.

another shot of the ship, this one is definitely the blue/yellow one. there’s gotta be some significance with that, right? either we’re getting skins for sanc-iii, we’re going to be painting it a new color, or it’s a different ship.

what the HECK

maybe the twins stole sanc-ii and we’re using sanc-iii. idek. this ship is driving me up a wall lol

gun head.

not a lot to say here. i actually like this one lol it’s very mellow and straight to the point. it’s nice that the logo is right in the middle, not at the top like most of them.

game. buy it. okay? cool.

similar to the other background we did, a bit different. again, like @ifalnasminiatures pointed out, the twins are actually palette swapped here. 

Zane also has the old eyepatch on his right eye instead of his left eye, and his jacket is black instead of blue. fuckin’ edgelord.

one of my favorite ones out of all of them. it’s beautiful, i really wish they had kept it. Fl4k is missing but i assume they were meant to go next to Amara? i also think it’s interesting Moze is in the front, as I took Amara to be the leader this time around. Zane is also an older design, with the eyepatch back on his left eye again (starting to think this is an aesthetic thing lol) and a black jacket instead of blue.

We see the twins on the top. Tyreen has that mark on her face again, and Troy is the same as the last few covers.

We also see Maya, Zer0, and for some reason Brick? Which is weird to me considering we have a few other characters who initially feel much for important to the story (cough Lilith cough), but I’m not complaining. 

the purple splatters again make me think this is a tie in to eridium/slag/elpis’s chemical sludge. i also like the logo being worked into the design instead of just thrown on top, i think that’s a nice detail

i couldn’t find a great shot of this poster which is a shame because it’s one of my favorites

a lot of baddies to go around on here. i love the dude up top, he reminds me of the Anchormen from the captain scarlett dlc in bl2!

these dudes

we can see Punk Girl on the left again

and this guy who appears to be in some medieval armor

i have no idea what’s going on there but i am EXCITED

i’ve been thinking and tbh i think the multiple planets thing was just an excuse for gearbox to go absolutely ham on the character designs/settings. 

i mean why should they have to hold back all their medieval armor designs for another dlc like tiny tina’s? all their pirate/sea-fairing designs for a pirate dlc? fuck it! go WILD. i think they did, anywho

there’s also this post which... tbh i can’t make out much at all. again, seems like an older psycho mask design. it looks like there are characters in the splatter on the bottom left, but it’s very hard to tell who’s who, especially at this angle and image quality lol

if we get a better shot later on i may return to this piece and try to figure things out!

we also have this piece which is giving me huge ‘Happy Together’ vibes. very trippy

moze looks like she’s using an untextured atlas gun? dunno what’s going on with that tbh lol

i really like this one too. it’s cool. i get why maybe they wanted to go a little crazier tho, feels too simplistic for the MAYHEM vibe they’re going for.

oof! can we get an F in chat for whatever planet/moon this is

lots of pink floyd vibes going on here as well

we see a different looking blue/yellow ship flying away from the explosion. it seems to missing a lot of the parts that make sanc-iii so recognizable including the engines/wings

i like the destruction vibe they’re going for here, really sells the “universe destroying power” the twins are supposedly going to get. 

anyway, in addition to the cover art pieces, we also got a few concept art pieces as well!

this bit which looks like a gun

you see the aiming mechanism up there? you see how it’s aimed at that planet/moon? yeah i 100% timed this so you’d see the above concept art with this immediately after :P (im kidding i didn’t but hey now you don’t have to scroll)

fuck yeah babey

we also have seen something similar to this in the gameplay trailer!

i didn’t actually think it was a giant fucking GUN tho. can we get an F in chat for Promethea and/or whatever else this thing gets aimed at

yooo

i thought this was opportunity at first cuz of the bridge but it’s more likely promethea

when u go meet zer0 you can see some water surrounding the city so i would guess this is somewhere else on promethea

im mostly interested in the giant fuckin triangle in the middle of that courtyard looking area

oh also the giant trench of destruction on the right there. that’s probably important, too.

more concept art!

i think the bottom of the 4 VHs is actually what was leaked in january.

some art of the twins on the left there, tyreen is so much shorter than troy omfg

and this does indeed looks to be a younger version of angel so credit to @prettypinkdork for mentioning that on my angel post. it is nice to see those tech-y wings in action, definitely does prove it’s her.

we can also see this art of what i think is Punk Girl, which is interesting to me because she looks to be doing something with her right hand. possible siren powers? maybe! 

we also get a much cooler, bigger version of that maliwan ship people were talking about, with what look to be maliwan... eye bots? surrounding it. this is soooo fuckin awesome to me because it reminds me of a sailboat. and airships are fucking COOL

but something interesting is that i don’t think this ship was actually always maliwan

we got an A in the back here... for Atlas? i mean... you know it’s coming... the colors would match up. Yeahhhhhhh...

more interesting is that it actually looks like maliwan covered it up with their flags/tarps. i would not be surprised if this was claimed by maliwan possibly during the takeover.

a cyclone, with a whole fuckin lot of detail. just... holy shit.

not much else to say here though. i like the stuffed animal on the side, though

a better shot of jakobs manor which holy shit looks badass as fuck

big turret/observation thing on the right there? im not sure

pretty sure this is eden-6. also more tropical trees? possibly a water planet? but maybe just ocean on eden-6. also there seems to be like webbing on whatever is on the road, so maybe some spider-like wildlife?

most important to me is this

yeah i would bet that’s eridium/slag/the chemical sludge from elpis

im pretty convinced this is something on elpis mostly because the DAHL logo on the side. which again, they were on pandora yes but they were mining for iridium not eridium. if this was pandoran pumping stations, that would be hyperion.

i do think this is elpis. and i do think the twins are using the chemical sludge that mutated the lost legion into those fake siren things to give their followers superpowers.”holy holy holy” indeed.

this, plus the rakk wings on the psycho in the mask of mayhem are just convincing me more and more

that’s all for now folks. i gotta run

[i-dont-want-your-hysteria]

PSA- How It All Went Down On February 10th

Today is the one year anniversary of when I got into Def Leppard, and how everything on this blog came to be becuase of today. Below is the entire story of how I came across Leppard, and how this blog came about. 

Happy one year!

Let me get one thing clear- I definitely grew up on Def Leppard in one way or another.

My dad’s been a huge fan since ‘83, so of course, I heard their music growing up. However, I didn’t exactly know it was them that I was hearing- I just always heard their name from my dad. I kept my own taste in music, and never paid attention to them (since I didn’t exactly know who they were).

So, the road to my current state of Leppard-loving actually began at the beginning of my sophomore year (fall 2016). For some reason I "rediscovered" Sugar (as in I never knew the title or the artist of it but always heard it as a kid) and started listening to it a lot. A lot.

During my sophomore year, I transitioned my music taste into classic rock. I don’t remember how this happened, but it was for the best.

 At the end of my sophomore year, I "rediscovered" Animal (same scenario) and started listening to it a lot, but never listened to any other song by them voluntarily. 

In the summer following this (summer 2017), whenever we burned a fire on our deck, we would always play Weird Al/ Electric Amish (stuff like that) when we were out there late at night. Eventually, one night in July, I was out of ideas of what to play so I asked my dad (a huge DL fan) what I should put on and of course he simply says "Def Leppard." I asked him what song and said to just pick one, so I thought, “oh god I don't really know any of their songs and I don’t know what he likes, what should I pick? Okay, I’ll pick one I don’t know. Let's just pick the first one that comes up that I don't know" and it just so happens that that one was Hysteria, and I put it on and immediately my dad goes "Ahh.. you had to pick this one...” and tilts his head back, looking up at the sky.

He then told me the story of the first time it was played for the rest of the band (which isn’t 100% true, but this is just what he knew) he said that one of the guitarists (it was actually Phil and Sav) played what they had so far for the rest of the band around a campfire like we were doing (which turned out to be some of Sav and Phil's Irish friends).

But it felt really cool being out there with this song playing, and it was the first time I had ever heard it, too. Hysteria was my favorite song within a week. But, still, I could probably only name 3 or 4 DL songs at this point (I apparently did know more, but none by name). Those 3 or 4 DL songs kinda defined that summer for me, funny enough.

October of 2017: I don't exactly know how it happened, (I think I heard it on the radio) but I rediscovered Photograph (I actually knew this one by name) and became OBSESSED WITH IT FOR ALL OF NOVEMBER. Making music videos in my head, writing it into my NaNoWriMo novel, listening to it whenever I could, just wow- I love it. That's when it became my favorite song of all time (and it still is- tied with Hysteria).

It's January of 2018 now, and I'm still cooing over Photograph and Sugar and Hysteria and Animal, then January 14th, 2018 comes around- I almost meet Rick by accident, then a week or so later I'm watching the Metal Mayhem block on MTVC...

A video ends, it fades to black, and then suddenly I hear that "pck......" pluck of a string that echoes away and my heart jumps- “IT'S PHOTOGRAPH OHMYGODOHMYGOD...!!” 

It occurred to me right then and there that I had never seen the music video before (or even considered that there may have been one)

It had ALSO occurred to me that I had never once actually looked at a picture of the band. I'd never seen their faces. 

So I’ve got a favorite song I’ve been obsessed with for a solid two months, I discover its music video, and look at the band who sings it for the first time- and who starts singing my absolute favorite song of all time but an absolutely daSHING young man in a Union Jack tank top and a white scarf.

And then he hit me out of nowhere and I actually said to myself "God... the lead singer's actually kinda cute... like... really cute..." followed by an "oh no" shortly after because I knew I'd eventually fall madly in love with this simply adorable man who sings my favorite song, and I’d remember that that is what started it all (but that's not what started it all. It was simply an “I’ve been down this road before and this is typically how it starts.” I was more shocked than anything that my dad’s favorite band had a pretty cute lead singer- like how was that possible?) I was now, however, teetering on the edge of falling into an obsession... anything could set me off. 

And it finally did- on February 10th, 2018. My dad was taking me to a drama club rehearsal, and Bringin On the Heartbreak came on the radio. My dad turned it up and went "Yes! Old Leppard!" and at the chorus I went "WHAT'S THIS SONG CALLED I THINK I'VE HEARD IT BEFORE"

It was just the chorus I remembered, not exact words, but it just sounded all familiar, the melody of their forces, the screaming of the words, I'm pretty sure I heard it a really long time ago. And thus, it had begun. I went home, I found it on our iCloud and downloaded it.

Then I remembered my dad saying something when he was drunk about how "I nEED ROCK. LIKE ROCK. I'M TALKING LIKE- PYROMANIA. TWICE."

So I thought "I really really like a small handfull of Def Leppard’s songs. I think I should listen to them more. I'll listen to Pyromania- twice." (I’d heard of the album beforehand but never listened to it- or had I?). So I did one day. I listened to it. Twice. And BOOM; there were at least 4 songs on there right off the bat I most definitely recognized. Turns out I did know a ton of songs by Def Leppard- I just didn’t know it was them.

And of course I looked into them a bit more, hearing about all their popular stuff, listening to all of Hysteria, FINALLY looking up that handsome son of a bitch's name (Joe), finding out that one of the main composers of my favorite song went and died before I was born (Steve), and finding their more popular songs, and listening to all albums soon enough. 

I kept going back to tumblr to find pics of them and such, but there weren’t a lot. There wasn’t much on here at all about them. Whatever I did find, though, I reblogged. I was straight up obsessed within days. That week was crazy for my old tumblr. 

However, at the end of the week, on Feb 18th, only a week after it all began, I accidentally deleted my tumblr account (long story, don’t ask). I was honestly devastated because I had it for almost 4 years and all that history was now gone in the blink of an eye. Within the hour, I restarted and created a new tumblr account. I was lost on here and didn’t know where to begin, or get back on my feet. For one thing, I got my old url back ( @mccoys-killer-queen ) and immediately made my background the same pic of the guys as it was before to kind of trick myself into thinking nothing had changed.

I was wrong, and that was a good thing.

I got back into a fresh new blog, and started going around to people and asking them to spread the word on what happened and to hopefully get most of my followers back.

To this day I don’t remember all of them, and that’s been a good thing so far.

While I was doing this, I started talking to @raised-on-radio (whom I had only become mutuals with about a week earlier), 

“thinking about legit starting a def leppard blog tho” I said in the tags of a post I reblogged. She sent it back to me saying that I totally should (thanks, by the way!). And while I wasn’t totally serious about it at the time, I thanked her for the support so early on.

The next day- literally- the next day (Feb 19th), I messaged her and said that I couldn’t help myself, and made a DL blog (you’re looking at it right now). I’d never had a sideblog before, but within a week, I really enjoyed it (and obviously, I still do). Upon looking at this dead/sleeping fandom on tumblr, I realized right away it needed some sort of revival- to become like other fandoms in the modern day. There was no fanfic (on tumblr at least), there were no memes (oh heLL NO there was not), there wasn’t much circulation of posts, and it just felt dead- which I KNEW it wasn’t. It was very far from it.

Over the next month or so, it seemed now that I was involved with the fandom, it was starting to awaken in some ways. There were people actually posting content, more people were making blogs, memes got involved (I’m taking the credit for that, lmao, it seemed no one else posted memes except me and @stupidpicturesofdefleppard ). I don’t want to say I caused this awakening, but it just seems that it happened around the time I got involved with everything. A divine coincidence.

The year that followed was amazing in so many different ways. In a year, I went from not even looking at a photo of the guys and not even knowing their names, to interacting/having one of them and their official twitter interact with me on Twitter a few times, to meeting one of them in person (and putting my arm around him and having him call me ‘darling’), to having a year long obsession that’s still going strong, to knowing much more songs by them than any other artist, to knowing more facts and history about them than anything else, to being able to recognize them if given the slightest detail, and to being absolutely in love with every member and everything Def Leppard has done (not in that order!)

One year later, here we are! The past 365 days since I first heard Bringin’ On The Heartbreak in my dad’s car has been one hell of a story that’s taken me months to completely type out, and I can’t thank everyone enough for somehow making me gain 364 followers in the past year for something I never thought would get off the ground! If I told myself a year ago that I’d be where I am now, I don’t know what I’d think of it. I’d think it absolutely crazy- which it is!

But I wouldn’t change a thing about the last 365 days, that’s for damn sure. 

Rock on, guys!

[arguedquill1226]

Hollowed Heroes

chapter one (18+, MINORS DO NOT READ)

Summary: BuckyBarnes x FemaleReader-you have a unpolished past but you want a true chance at doing good in the world, to redeem yourself. Oh! And you happen to live and work with the Avengers sense the fall of shield while doing it... everything changes one day when Steve brings home a stray. What can the future hold for you and the team? Will this change the dynamic of missions? Will this stray be the answer to some of your darkest secret? Only time will tell...

Word count: 2,790ish

Taglines: 18+, Marvel AU, angst, explicit language, cursing (more to come as it gets deeper into the story)

Notes: Hi everyone! This is my first ever post of AU Marvel fanfic so please be gentle LOL...in short I've flipped some of the canon facts around like Sam and Steve got really close while shield is still in operation but age of Ultron happened before the triskelion incident in DC. So the facts are still the same but flipped or altered to work for my AU timeline. I'll try to fill in the differences as we go along with the fanfic, but I'mma Bebe writer so bare with me and my terrible grammar and punctuation XD so I apologize ahead of time! Also I do my own photo edits but I get a lot of the pictures of of Pinterest so all the credit goes to the OG poster of those pics...Happy reading & Hope y'all enjoy!

PS. I post from a mobile device so sorry for filling your feed and no keep reading option 😢

Updated on January 22, 2021

••••••••••

Chapter one-

First Impressions…

Tired and your eyes are burning. You casually lean against the wall with your knee bent and foot pushed on a piece of industrial paneling in an open debriefing room surrounded by soft sunlight and windows. It’s fairly early in the morning and you’re zoning out looking at the rich wooden floor while Tony drowns on for what felt like the 10th time on how you and Nat’s night op went and what the information you gathered meant for the “big picture.”

You had completely understood the gist of what he was trying to explain the first time he went over it. But when he gets on a roll with an audience, you know better than to interrupt him or let your sarcasm get the best of you. You and Nat were beat but the others had shown up late to the debrief so you just thought about getting out of your gear and hitting the rack for a few. The room was fairly quiet, with only Tony talking. So it wasn't hard to hear down the corridor a heavy set of metal doors close calmly with an mild echo…a side effect of having such wide open spaces on the operations level of the Avengers compound.

The noise had jarred you out of your dazed thought patterns. When you looked up, it had dawned on you that not everyone you'd had expected to see was in the meeting.

Steve.......where is Steve? Was your initial thought.

You and Steve had gotten close over the last 10 months sense Nat had brought you into the fold a little while before S.H.I.E.L.D fell. About as close as him a Nat. Sam had always joked with you 3 about being “the three musketeers” on ops. But you didn’t care because it was all in fun and was kind of true. You all had your particular skill sets, but also some skills that we’re similar. So it was easy to fall into step with each other.

It was then, you could hear hushed voices right outside the door frame to the room. Within seconds Steve and another man obscured slightly behind his right shoulder had entered, quietly sliding over to lean on the opposite wall from you hoping to not interrupt Tony you had guessed. He'd seemed to notice you following their movements with curious eyes and gave you a kind nod that you returned with a saw smile.

You glanced over quickly at the stranger. He was about as tall as Steve but thicker with broader shoulders. Dark, unkempt hair came down to his jawline obscuring his main features along with the black ball cap he was donning. He wore an Army green utility jacket over a light blue plaid shirt, denim jeans with boots. Dressed very mundane, perhaps too much. What struck you as especially odd was the fact that he was wearing black leather gloves out of season for upstate New York. It was early autumn, still fairly warm outside.

Steve had backed out of this last mission with you and Nat to deal with what he would only describe as a “personal matter,” so you started to wonder if this man had anything to do with that. Steve had explained how he had full confidence in you two to handle a simple stakeout/smash and grab on our own. So neither of you pressed him for more info and wished him luck.

A few seconds later, Tony had finished and everyone was content with all the information given and was about to stand when Tony, being snarky, acknowledged Steve finally showing up to the meeting.

“So nice of you to join us, we were helpless without you Cap!” Tony stated while waving his finger at our fearless leader dripping with sarcasm.

“Sorry Tony, I was hoping to be here earlier to talk to you.” He said a little unsure of Tony’s reaction to the stranger he glanced back at.

At that action, Tony seemed to register something in his memory. Possibly something him and Steve had discussed in private you wondered. Possibly something about this strange man who seem to be fairly familiar to you but you couldn't place him…By this time, everyone but Nat and Sam was staring back at Steve and the stranger waiting for an explanation. Those two seem to know something you and the others didn't. Nat looked at you out of the corner of your eye.

Who was he?...you wondered.

•••••••••••••••

He was nervous walking through the double doors in the corridor leading to a room that he could hear some guy rambling on, the voice sounded vaguely familiar. Looking back at the exit while the doors echoed shut behind them, Steve assured him that he wouldn’t let anything get out of hand and would explain everything to the group who may not understand or be upset that he had found the man Steve new long ago and was bringing him home like some lost pup...which Bucky hated to think of it like that but the man was damn determined and stubborn for him to come back with him. Bucky knew this team was established to do good in the world but he didn’t know if his presence would upset their carefully built dynamic.

Steve had left 3 weeks ago on a solo op that he was quiet about any details to most of the team but Sam and Tony knew. And Nat guessed it when she had seen the three in an incognito meeting disgusting details on a large timeline display of information Friday, Tony’s helpful A.I., had up about the ghost from more than just Steve’s past. Even with how close Steve, Nat and You are…you all have your individual secrets and knowledge that hasn’t come up in conversation. And Steve didn’t know that you had your own run in with the man he was about to walk through the door with right now. But Nat did know, but choose to not tell you this fact and may be regretting it that the moment. But it wasn’t her secret to tell Steve so how was she supposed to explain to him that not everyone may be okay with this.

Nat had warned Steve once at the cemetery when she gave him a copy of the file from Kiev. But she did it again a second time that evening. Before he and Sam left to find his oldest friend. He had promised to take what she said to heart and to not push Bucky or the others into anything they weren’t comfortable with. But they left anyways. Sam had returned alone 8 days after they left and only would say “it went as well as could be expected and Steve (more likely, Bucky) just needed some more time.”

In that time away, the boys found Bucky on a tip from the Smithsonian video feeds and CCTV which of course Bucky didn’t know was a thing. So it wasn’t hard to track him down and they found him in a seedy motel living on stolen credit cards, junk food from gas stations and a few random notebooks looking so lost. They had only left a note on the door to his room, letting Bucky know they wouldn’t bother him. But they added a phone number and that they could help him learn about his past, if he wanted. He thought about it for days before he called the man from the museum exhibition, the one everyone called ‘Captain America.’ He was starting to remember flashes of memories and feelings over the last few months away from Hydra's grasp, but couldn’t seem to make sense of them on his own. So he said, “fuck it!” And met the two men he recognized from that awful day in Washington DC.

•••••••••••••

They did help but his mind was far from perfect and he felt like an exposed nerve walking through the door to the room.

Fuck, so many people!

So he ducked his head and stayed near Steve. Even though he only knew the man for a few short weeks, he felt like he could trust Steve unconditionally which wasn’t a feeling he was used to. He recognized the guy talking as the famous Tony Stark or aka ‘Ironman.’ He was grateful when Tony didn’t really draw attention to him directly and chose instead to pick on Steve.

Bucky took the opportunity to scan the room. An old habit from all the Hydra training or maybe from howling commando days. That wasn’t clear to him yet. He seen some faces that were confused or apprehensive. Two he recognized to be Sam and a girl he thought was named Natalia, he’d hoped she didn’t completely want to shoot him for what he tried to do to her in DC and whatever else he may have done. She didn’t look upset though. She looked unsure, then glanced to a quiet girl he hadn’t noticed until he followed Nat’s eye line.

It was you, a beautiful girl nonchalantly leaning on the wall in a “back of the class” kind of way. With long, YC hair that was a bit wild from the long night and deep YC eyes with messy black smoky eyeshadow that resembled war paint. Dressed in all black, holsters and straps. She wasn’t like Natalia dressed in a sleek look though, more apocalyptic and organic. Weathered Moto pants, combat boots and a loose fitted, faded black tank top that had a worn group of holes reminiscent of bird shot where your utility belt buckle rubs against the material. Your jacket discarded on the floor haphazardly by your feet. Almost familiar to someone or something he’d seen before…wait………..yes……definitely someone………..shit… and the memory slips away…

Bucky was completely stunned by how beautiful you are. But he didn’t want to seem like a creep so he kept his glance short before looking back at Natalia and Sam. He had completely ignored what Steve was saying to his friends, being stuck in his thoughts when he heard Tony say,

“This is James Barnes everybody. Don’t be afraid to say ‘Hi' and remember to show him to his room later, will ya Cap?”

“He prefers Bucky actually,” Steve says nodding his head to the rest of the group “and I will. Thanks again for understanding Tony.”

By this time, Vis, Wanda, Tony, Maria, Rhodey and Clint began filling out of the door past Steve and Bucky with quick greetings and smiles in a hurry to get to their priorities for the day…whatever those were. You found yourself smiling and wanting to giggle at the thought of Clint’s main mission probably being to eat the last donuts in the kitchen of the compound, when you realized Nat had walked up to you and Sam had joined Barnes and Steve by the door. Nat was obviously trying to block his view of you for some reason. As good as she was executing a distraction, she should’ve known better as that was one of your many skill sets too.

That’s when you realized Barnes kept his head coy but was glancing at you periodically over Nat’s shoulder. It wasn’t hard to see because you were slightly taller than Nat so she couldn’t really block him from looking your way. It struck you differently than it usually does when someone stares at you. Normally, you cringe and feel awkward in a personal setting with someone staring at you. But this time it’s like his eyes are drawing you into a trap. His eyes…holy fuck, you hadn’t noticed his eyes. Before they were hidden under the bill of his hat but now they’re looking directly into yours and they’re the brightest slate blue color. You easily spot them from over 15 feet away.

Nat notices your eye contact and she scoops up your jacket and shoves it lightly to your chest. You grab it while she simultaneously hooks her elbow around yours and leads you out of the room. On your way by the three men, she smiles and says,

“see you boys at the gym later.”

Bucky follows you and Nat’s path with his eyes as you hang a left leading into the section that has the hanger bay on your right heading to the elevators on the left that will take you up to the living quarters. He turns back to Sam and Steve to find them looking at him.

“Don’t worry, YourNickName isn’t anyone you need to worry about. She’s actually really cool.” Sam says with a smug smile on his face like he noticed something.

Bucky repeated, “YNN?”

“Ya, it’s short for YFirstN. She’s been working with us for a while now but she’s still kind of the new here too. Now, how about a tour?” Steve added.

Bucky nodded in agreement and they walked out of the room heading in the same direction as you two did. Hoping he may run into you again while Sam and Steve kept pointing out what different sections of the compound were used for.

•••••••••••••

After you and Nat we're a little ways away from the debriefing room, she started some small talk about how nice a hot shower would feel right now and you agreed wholeheartedly. But stepping into the elevator, you couldn't shake the feeling that you wanted to go back and properly say hi to the new guy Bucky and welcome Steve back.

Nat told you with a smile sensing your thoughts, “don't worry, we will see Steve later at the gym. And later for movie night. You know how Tony gets if we don't show up for his events, we should catch up on our sleep now so we're not late.”

You giggle, “events?... It’s a movie Nat.”

“Ya, but Rogers is back and brought Barnes with him so now he’s going to go overboard and really make it a picture show.”

“Yep…agreed. It’ll be a whole thang now!” you say over exaggeratedly with you hands and jacket waving back and forth while rolling your eyes. “Hopefully he doesn’t plan on showing anything Charles Chaplin for our sakes!” you yell jokingly while turning away and jogging down the hall. You hear Nat belly laugh before you both duck into your rooms for some much needed R&R.

It doesn’t take you long to peel your gear off and start the shower. It starts to whistle due to the steaming hot water shooting out of the head while you bun your hair on the top of your head and flop your towel over the rod. Ready for the inevitable soap in your eye somehow because you’re secretly a total klutz. You turn the water down a tad and start your music on your phone and jump in while you start to sing along.

You’re clean and relaxed in no time at all so you shut off the shower and hop out, throw on a tank and shorts and turn the music down a bit. When you walk out of the bathroom you hear a familiar voice pass by your door. It’s Steve saying, “and your room is right here, mine’s just down the hall and Sam’s is around the corner if you need anything.”

A door in the hall latches softly, then…… silence. You open your door to hopefully catch Cap before he runs off and he’s already in front of your door. His hand up looking prepared to knock and eyebrows raised with a smile on his face when he sees you.

“Hey!” he boasts.

“Hey you!” you reach for a quick hug and he gladly accepts. “We all missed you.”

“Well I’m back now. So you don’t need to anymore. Listen, can I ask you a favor?” he asks with a grin.

“Of course!”

“I hope you don’t mind but…uh…I gave Bucky the room next to yours. And I know you don’t really know him…or anything…I guess what I’m asking is, if you see him out and about can you help make him feel welcome…I figured sense you’re still kind of new maybe…” He tries to explain while rubbing the back of his neck and looking shy.

But you hold up your hand to stop his awkwardness and say, ”yeah, of course Steve. Anything for ya.”

“That great, thanks YN, you rock!” he says beaming.

“Not a prob. Now unless you have any better uses for my bed you’d like to personally show me?” you tease with a sarcastically sultry expression to see if he blushes.

“Uhhh…I…” he totally does.

“That’s what I thought,” you giggle and shoo him off. “I’m hitting the rack, night Stevie!”

“But it’s day!” he jokes as he head down the hall as you shut your door.

You climb into bed thoroughly enjoying the thought of how your sense of humor and Steve’s reservoir of pent-up 1940s sass effortlessly fits together. Within seconds of getting comfy and turning off your tunes, you’re out.

Chapter Two coming soon... Masterlist here

***if you liked this please feel free to let me know with a *reblog or ask* thanks so much for reading!!!

[cutiecrates]

Cutie Reviews: Doki Doki Sept 18

Hi guys, here’s the (possibly) long-awaited Doki Doki September review that I probably should have done earlier this past week or two... or three. It kind of got put off, plus I got a new game and a new book I was excited about, and there was a hospital-related incident and some back pains...

Anyway I don’t have much else to say right now so we’ll just get right into it!

This months theme: First Day of School

As the weather gets cooler and we return from our summer vacations, we have to get back into the swing of things. This month’s theme is “Shin-gakki” or First Day of School. This crate is full of items to make school, or the workplace for those out of school, cute and fun!

For this month the Suteki Crate focuses on several practical Sanrio based character goods, namely My Melody, Sumikko Gurashi, and Jinbesan. I approve!

(As usual I forgot the picture until I started writing this.)

I love the adorable pen pouch and memo pen, what about you guys? :3

(Also as a side note, in the comic for the month we’re introduced to a new boy character, Hibiki Shinosuke, who finds out first-hand why Tomomi is avoided in class. He’s really funny, so I hope we see more of him~)

Sumikko Gurashi Pen Case

Our first item is this slim and adorably designed pen/pencil/other small stationery item case. It features the Sumikko Gurashi trying various school clubs, besides the tennis one I got there is also soccer, volleyball, soft ball, music, and basketball.

Besides the music one, I’m pretty happy I got this one because I like tennis. But they all would have been really cute, so I wouldn't have been disappointed either way.

These are also double sided, providing 100% cuteness on both sides!

It’s also made to be discrete while safely snuggling the inner-contents; which means you could probably also use this on a daily basis if you didn’t attend school anymore or was going out for the day. They are on the small side so there are a handful of items that probably won’t fit, but there is also a variety of items that will.

I pretty much use it and the one I got last year (or maybe the year before?) to hold all the pens and pencils I get from these boxes!

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

I really like these x3 not only are they cute, but they are functional, well-made, and I like how they’re sleek and slim with a very smooth cloth fabric, rather than bulky and hard, which were the types of cases I had growing up when I attended school.

They were plastic which made them hard and fragile, and they got dirty fairly easy (but to be fair that was sometimes my fault), but I usually made them last until the school year ended. They came in handy due to their bigger size (I could fit some of everything school related in one) and I always had tons of coloring options, and I always found a pink one to buy each year... but I’m pretty sure my middle school self would have preferred these.

Jinbesan Folder

(Sorry the pics are kind of wonky, that’s what happens to a folder that’s been bent for a long period of time.)

Our next item is this large, colorful Jinbesan folder- which is pretty vital for pretty much everyone, no matter the grade. I know I had multiple each year, one for each subject like any other person.

There was a few different designs this was available in, and this one is also double-sided:

(Keep in mind it’s a lot brighter in person than in this picture)

Again, I’m pretty sure I would have loved to use these when I was younger; not that I don’t now though :P but I do have papers I can use it for now so it’s not like it’s going to go to waste... I just need to fix it’s bendiness first.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

This folder material is like a very sleek plastic (maybe vinyl? I don’t really know terms for these things >3<), so I like knowing that if it gets dirty then in theory it should be an easy clean. Prior to me opening the box it was already bent, but staying in the box so long didn’t help it, but that’s my own fault and I’m sure with enough weight I can flatten it again. At least this material can’t tear like paper folders.

Aggretsuko Plush Charm

Who doesn’t love Retsuko? She’s become extremely popular as of late, and as the booklet points out, it’s can be really easy to relate to her sometimes when dealing with school and work (it also helps if you like metal, I enjoy it a bit myself).

This is a plush charm that was available in either form, the cutesy work Retsuko and the released death metal one. I hope I don’t get hate over this, but I actually prefer her normal cutesy appearance; but I can still be appreciative over this one too.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

It’s very soft and squishy, I’m really impressed that as small as this charm is (It’s smaller than most mug in terms of height) it has a lot of perfectly stitched quality. There’s no quality issues, even the little hair tufts on the ears feel soft and silky. The ball chain is also pretty nice too.

My Melody Onigiri Maker

Whether you make your own lunch or someone else does it, or if you just want a snack, it’s nice to have a cutesy element in some shape or form to make it feel all the more special~

This comes in 4 pieces to make the perfect My Melody onigiri (rice ball), as well as drawn and written details to help make it on the packaging; although it isn’t that hard to figure out just looking at it either.

Now as much as I love rice and try to test out food-based gadgets we get, I wasn’t able to do that with this one. I didn’t have the “supplies” and with the hectic things going on, I wasn’t really doing much in the kitchen lately. But I have seen several youtube videos about items like this so I recommend going there if you want to see more. 

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

Whether I tested this out or not, I wouldn’t have had very much to say about it. You’ve seen one rice shaper you’ve seen them all, and I have tested previous ones I got and haven’t had any problems (besides the broken one I got like two years ago that they were supposed to be replace and never did).

I love cutesy looking food, even if they can take a bit more time to make, but food always seems to taste better when it’s personally worked on; it also helps to make picky-eaters a tiny bit less-picky :P if you like eating rice and would like to try these out, you can find a variety of them on Amazon.

Amuse Pen

You can’t have a school themed box without a writing utensil of some type. So here we are, at our last item. An adorable pastel pen featuring the popular brand Amuse and it’s original characters.

It’s a bit hard to see here, but I got Alpacasso x3 which is the reason I like this brand, since I always had a soft spot for llama and alpaca- I like that they’re so popular now because I can enjoy them more frequently!

Anyway, each pen comes in it’s own themed color, with matching colored ink. It also has a wonderful and relaxing scent, it smells exactly like an eraser I got in a prior school themed box. But I still can’t identify the scent more than being a light sweet fruit with a hint of baby powder or cotton candy.

It smells really good, trust me. 

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

The pen quality is good, a tiny bit spotty but I think that was my fault for writing on the box rather than paper. Again it’s scented, and it has pretty sky blue ink, so I’m not sure it would be test or signature necessary friendly, but it’d be perfect for everything else!

Oh, also it isn’t a gel pen or fine tip, like what I usually prefer. But you know, I still really like it :3 I don’t have too many colored ink pens (unless you buy a really expensive pen or multi-ink ones, all we normally have are black, red, dark blue, and sometimes dark green) so I get excited when I can add to my collection.

In fact I pretty much stopped buying pens and stationery items from here because I get so many from these boxes.

♥ Cutie Ranking ♥

Content - 5 out of 5. I’m a teeny-tiny bit bugged by the folder, but that can easily be fixed so I’m not going to blame the box on that. I wasn’t amazed by the items or anything, but I liked them and I love getting to add to my pens and kitchen gadgets. They’re perfect for the time of year they were released and are very practical, so I completely approve!

Quality/Price - 5 out of 5. I’ll admit on terms of price I’m not sure where the box stands this month. The quality was excellent with each and every item, and because of them all being licensed I know that would probably make them costly depending on location. The problem with that is that where I live (and I’m sure in several other states/towns) school products are very cheap when school starts, and even throughout the year. So as much as I prefer cute items to plain ones... I’m not sure I’d go out of my way to spend triple times the amount just for a couple of them when I could use the same money to buy a lot of basic items. But to be fair I don’t know the prices of these things, it’s entirely possible they aren’t as expensive as I think.

Theme: 5 out of 5. Like last months, it’s extremely obvious even without the book. Every September they do a school themed box, but I like the consistency and I’m sure the other subscribers appreciate it too.

Total Rank: 15 out of 15 Cuties. When I first started this I wasn’t too sure how I felt about this box, it kind of gave me vibes from the previous one, where I enjoyed the items but I didn’t feel any sort of inspiration. I assume it stems from often getting “schoolish“ items in my other boxes, but at the same time I liked the concept of getting one box dedicated just to them. Plus I adore practicality considering how much gets spent on these and they have been doing pretty well with that!

♥ Cutie Scale ♥

1. Sumikko Gurashi Case - Again pastels and designs, but just looking at it makes me feel happy x3

2. Amuse Pen - I love it’s pale pastels and colorful design... but the clippy part of the pen’s top that you attach it to things with kind of blocks the image a teensy bit, which is kind of annoying to me. 

3. Jinbesan Folder - I love how it has two alternate designs and is so smooth and translucent. Any time I see something Jinbesan related, I really want to hug it. I feel so warm and comforted looking at it~

4. My Melody Onigiri Maker - As much as I love cute pinkness, that’s all there really is going for it. 

5. Aggretsuko Plush - ...It’s probably really obvious right?

Alrighty, that will be doing it with another review :3 I hope you found it enjoyable (I’d say informative but lets be real it isn’t), and because I didn’t get my April Gacha Gacha box yet, I will be moving on to our October boxes! I’m so excited, not only was October my birthday month, but it features spooky-kawaii items for Halloween~

Until next time, stay cute!

[havingonlydreams]

i am never going to use this tumblr for posts again

alright so since i finally got out of testing today and i learned how to scroll frame by frame through youtube videos, i am going to reward myself by doing an unnecessarily thorough breakdown of the quanzhigaoshou live action trailer imagery(watch cn fanbase beat me by a country mile)

nighttime cityscape/highway scene fades out

team happy walks into one side of an arena, wearing competition uniform (i will explain this later)

we switch to team excellent era, coming in through the opposite side of the same arena, also in competition uniform. their side of the arena is lit in red, not blue. are they playing at the same time? is this happy vs ee? :shrug:

also, why tf is a backpack part of all these uniforms? how much stuff do esport players need to carry anyway? did a backpack company sponsor the production??

panning shot of signs, looks like they’re for huang shaotian or blue rain

that’s cruel, br-fen. why does captain get no love :cry:

shot continues moving, now the signs are for han wenqing

based on lighting, i don’t think they’re the same shot

fade out to scene of arena packed with fans and players

if I’m getting these signs right, looks like it’s (right to left, moving with the camera):

team void, tiny herb, tyranny, blue rain, excellent era

so, all stars

honestly, the scale’s kinda small. thumbs down to location scouting – the weird lighting polyhedrons confirm that it’s the same arena as the one from the happy/ee shots in the beginning, so expect ~location weirdness/ambiguity~

unnecessarily synchronized card insertion

based on the card logo, i wanna say tiny herb?

ee responds in kind!

tyranny puts headphones on in unison. the headphones are white. also, i think this is their casual uniform. based on the giant maple leaf in the background, i would say that this is an away game with ee, but the worn metal and circle room in the background look more like tyranny’s supervillain clubhouse

now ee is playing. this shot looks like ee turf – they’ve got white-backed seats, and that weird angular lighting motif. also they’re wearing black and blue headphones because ~product placement~

i say turf, not arena, because there don’t appear to be any actual player booths in these two shots, the set design looks like what we’ve seen for the clubhouse pics (this is because the production couldn’t afford to film all of the games in actual arenas, isn’t it)

also, ee is wearing competition uniforms.

now tiny herb is playing on what looks like the same set, but with the background lit in red, not blue. maybe they’re playing against ee? also from this angle I can clearly see that they are *headsets*, not headphones, which means that vc is not banned by this version’s alliance. some dude in blue is hanging out in the background, probably an official of some sort. I am not sure whether this is their casual/competitive uniform

a guy in ee uniform sweeps his hands across a keyboard with unnecessarily colorful backlighting

~product placement~

ye xiu (yang yang) stands in front of ‘glory pro league’ hologram thing with his back turned, wearing the happy casual uniform

mouse shots! keyboard shots!

face shot! (of ye xiu, wearing casual uniform (puma!) and headset (white))

group shot of happy walking down arena hallway, wearing competition uniform. this is where I explain this bit. so as far as I can tell, every team has (2) uniforms: a casual uniform, which looks like a tracksuit and those enormous thick sweatpants had an ugly, ugly, baby, and a competition uniform, which looks dorky as hell. all of the female characters manage to elevate the terrible costuming by being beautiful, but are dragged down by the fact that apparently the alliance uniform for women mandates a miniskirt, because apparently no one has gotten cold legs in an arena, ever. (to be fair to the costume department, its not that they did a terrible job, its that their job was to replicate esport uniforms, which are a hot mess)

the main difference between happy’s casual and competitive uniform, btw, is that the casual one has a high collar and the puma branding, and the competitive has this funky sweater? not-collar thing

idk fashion words

also, ye xiu is wearing a mask because Reasons

(the reason is that judging by chen guo, this is from the challenger league arc, and the producer/director/writer/whoever decided to move around certain things)

boom! ee vs happy in the big arena, baby~~~

one dude from each team is standing under the spotlights, probably sx and yx by process of elimination

presumably!yx is NOT wearing a mask. maybe it gave him acne

pan across team happy getting ready to play in their booth? idk where this is

i see at least three types of headsets in this shot, and wei chen, who is not wearing his. maybe he got knocked out early?

now it’s the weird circle room that was in that early shot with tyranny! advertising on the ceiling lights, nice

I … have no idea what’s going on here. giant ee leaf on the sides, bunch of logos I can’t make out in the back, there are just *way* more people in here than any match would call for

like I think the dudes in the middle are wearing ee casual uniforms, but everyone else seems to be wearing black tracksuits? i don’t even know

ye xiu, geared up in full hobo gear (long coat&hoodie), storms out of the ee club set that was previewed in earlier set pics.

keyboard and mouse action!

ye xiu playing in the ‘storage room’ on a gaming laptop. also, he’s changed into a *different* hoodie

I have no clue what brand the laptop is; it’s the same as some of the monitors in a couple of earlier shots, might be Chinese?

yu wenzhou cameo

ye xiu hobowalking sadly in the snow (ngl, the hoodie make me laugh a little)

excellent era (w/su mucheng) walking into some stadium wearing casual uniforms. they are piss ugly

(the uniforms, that is. also ee minus mucheng, but who’s counting?)

happy coming from the opposite direction, also in casuals

and they pass each other! dramatically!

probably!yx taking a glory badge out of a box. can’t make out the details, but it says ‘1’ at the bottom, so these are probably the drama replacement for championship rings

tang rou focus shot! also, if that’s her line in the vo, I am *very* pleased

“turn all of the ‘can’t be done’s into ‘can do’”

yu wenzhou shot in casual uniform

ye xiu on The Motorcyle (pfft)

chen guo prepping for a celebration at Happy! she is Very Excited about that champagne tower. not sure who the two messing around with balloons in the bg are

tang rou in a cab looking upwards –

-to su mucheng, walking inside a stadium while wearing ee competition uniform

huang shaotian smiling at yu wenzhou while the rest of br preps. also, the blue rain competition uniform is an Abomination, which you will not appreciate until seen face on

ye xiu, whispering ominously ‘this is the last match’ as happy leans in around him

wei chen and… steamed bun? who is making a weird face, thumbs up

‘good luck’ whispers wang jiexi

and steamed bun *grabs* the challenger’s league cup, lifting it to wild cheers

chen guo and the crowd are ecstatic

partayyyyyyy

‘I will NOT give up’ says han wenqing, man who nobody, ever, has thought would give up

han wenqing and huang shaotian fistbump as tyranny and blue rain walk down a hallway, both dressed in their competition uniforms. zhang xinjie is confused. yu wenzhou is smilingly tolerant of the fact that hst is fistbumping right across his chest (huang shao is going to DIE, later)

okay so,

uniforms

tyranny’s looks fine! maybe the best competition uniform in the alliance (the bar is not high)

they’ve got a pretty normal chevron pattern across the front, some stripes. about the only problems are that the pants are a *little* too tight, and that some tyranny members are absolute maniacs who zip their jackets up all the way so it looks like they’re wearing the worlds weirdest collared shirt

blue rain …

so the closure is not that bad! pretty unconventional, an asymmetric zip with two fasteners across the top and some kinda … shawl collar? idk. I actually like it

but the pattern … i feel like someone said to the costume department, ‘you know, all of these uniforms have too many straight lines in their designs. we should add some curved lines. give the curves to blue rain! they’ve got no girls, so it’s the only way they’ll get any!’ and then they doubled down by adding raised piping for emphasis

that, and the way that uniform material looks like some kinda spandex-velour mix … it reminds me of the star trek:the next generation uniform! also, the casual uniform does the same curved line thing except in the opposite direction, and as a cutout, so its even worse

chen guo cheering in crowd

maybe a projection screen? tyranny and ee logos up on the wall

and happy logo SLAMS shut

ye xiu with his hoodie looking sad and pathetic in the snow up at happy

happy in competition uniforms coming downstairs (chen guo, so challenger’s league)

also damn, happy internet café is *swanky*

I mean, my eyes would hurt from the glare after a while, but it’d be pretty

EXCELLENT ERA

trophies. looks like seasons 1,2,3 going down to the left

sun xiang at the whiteboard lecturing ee. he is the only one not wearing the casual uniform. where is your piss ugly uniform, xiang xiang? this is a team endeavor, you’re not allowed to not wear it. it builds morale

BLUE RAIN

yu wenzou smiles

huang shaotian … fake guitars? with … something that’s been bundled up

TINY HERB

i guess this is why they redesigned the logo, so it would match the aesthetic and could be slammed shut like this, but i still don’t like it

honestly, tiny herb training room aesthetic is incredibly beautiful and soothing

but still way too much white, what the hell ppl, don’t you know about eyestrain?

‘today we’re training how to put our headsets on, synchonizedly’ sponsored by hp

also apparently that *was* the tiny herb competition uniform earlier, since this is the casual one. hmm. a bit too olive drab. tyranny’s still winning

signature wang jiexi EYES shot

TYRANNY

tyranny training room looks a lot less like a supervillain lair when brightly lit! go figure

now it looks like an overexposed supervillain lair *set*. progress!

captain han is ANGRY

hands clasp in front of happy members in the bg. tang rou is def not paying attention

is ye xiu wearing a mask AND a hat??? dude, chill

happy walking into crowd of fans&paps … somewhere. why is steamed bun kneeling next to the door? :it is a mystery:

group cheer! no ladies

group … orange juice! with su mucheng! damn, qiao yifan’s tall.

confetti in the stadium, and reporters charge forward

judging by teams and signs, this is all stars, so reaction to ye xiu’s dragon raising its head?

‘beautiful!’ ejaculated ye xiu

key and mouse action ~~

and the crowdteam happy goes wild!

team fist pump! someone has put their phone on their chair. I hope they don’t sit on it

ye xiu putting on headset in happy internet café. cant tell if this is hobo!hoodie or hoodie no.3

ye xiu :eyes:

key press. wtf program starts up with ‘s’

cgi is cgi

everything looks super gloomy and overcast ~ i hope they do more varied environments

and we see lord grim! they’ve gone for a really…tarnished metal? look for the MMU

like, I would not mistake it for an umbrella.

yang yang face

THE KINGS AVATAR

  Okay, so if you were looking for anything of actual substance in this, looks like they’re doing ch.1 - 1052 at least, probably 1-1060, so the end of the challenger league arc.

[onceuponamirror]

Love love love your takes on the cast's fashion! I'd be curious what your rankings would be for the *characters* outfits as well if you felt like mulling that over at all?

sure!! i don’t quite love the character’s outfits as much bc they’re generally not my personal style, but i do like certain looks for sure. just gonna do top ten though! and i took most images from @riverdaleclothing​ and @riverdalefashion​ bc combing for screenshots was a disaster. and this is more about individual clothing pieces i liked than overall looks, in the end?

10. veronica in 2.08

i really like this look for V because it was just so rare to see her in a print! i love her aggressive use of collars and bows but this was a cute dress that was a little different but very her. 

9. valerie in 1.08

this pic doesn’t do it justice at all, but i love metallic velvet + a mini skirt. SUCH a cute look! and something i’d wear bc ngl i have a metallic silver shirt like this.

val also had a great look in 1.04 or 5 where she’s wearing a cool leather jacket with a little yellow shirt and a two-string choker and it looks SO cool. but i could not get a good pic of it, so i gave up. but val always dresses great on this show. i miss her. come back, val! 

8. veronica in 2.16

like, not something i personally would ever want to wear, but this look is just SO good for veronica. the skirt looked banging and the color was great on her, and she was wearing it with a cute scalloped sweater that i really liked! 

7. betty in 2.10

i love this play on a trench coat for betty. it’s modern but has the aesthetic nod—perfect for the updated nancy yanno

6. jug in 1.09

this is one of my top jug looks. it just fit him really well and looked so cozy—and i always noticed that in the scenes where jughead is being vulnerable with betty in s1, he was just wearing a single sweater? he’d stripped down a lot of his layers. y’all notice that? this was one of my fav scenes and fav looks for that reason. 

4. veronica in 2.05

i could NOT find a good pic of this dress, so i went and took a screenshot. apparently the costume dept made it for her—this reminds me a lot of cami’s red valentino dress for comic con, thus why i still love it here for the same reasons.

4. betty in 2.07

instinctually i have latently annoyed opinions with betty as a serpent/mixed feelings about this jacket probably getting a snake patch, but this pink leather jacket was SO cute on her! 

and a jacket can still be a jacket, lmao. i would personally probably wear this, though i’ve never quite found a leather motorcycle-style jacket that i feel works for me. i would like to try on one like this. 

3. cheryl in….multiple episodes, including when she burned her house down

i just love these for her. how perfect, how quintessential, and what a nice nod through costume design, yanno?

2. betty in 2.20

bruh this is just so cute for betty. i know it’s a letterman jacket but like—the milkshake, the bow! the play on expectations. i really like it for her. and i just like it in general, i think it’s cute as a jacket. 

1. cheryl in 2.06

y’all i LOVE this jacket. i would wear the FUCK out of this jacket. i stared at it online for a while, kept it as an open tab. it was way too much money, but i genuinely thought about it. this is all kinds of cool man and has been one of the first times i’ve seen something on this show and been like I WANT

particularly in the way it’s styled on the right—white shirt, blue jeans, boots? hell ya

BONUS:

(gotta throw an extra one out for the hotties)

honest to god, jordan/sweet pea wears the fuck out of that leather jacket. they should’ve given a clunkier, wider-set style to cole tbh, i really don’t like the jacket he wears. but this one seems just worn enough and has a nice vintage feel and looks, uh, HOT

*wolf whistles* 

[rixxy8173571m3w1p3]

Smile For All The Unwanted

Another Reader x Doofus Rick fic. This fic was written for those who feel worthless. We all feel that way sometimes, and I thought this would be a nice encouragement.

In this fic, the reader learns that everything matters, even the unwanted.

_______________

Every so often, when he found out that there would be a yard sale, Zeta-7 would ask you to join him. What one would find was the usual batch of junk, the kind of things people should just throw away. It didn’t take you long to know whether or not you would buy anything, but he would browse as though they were treasures, picking up each item which caught his attention. On this occasion, you wanted to question him, wondering why he had bought a whole table of broken electronics, a wobbly coffee table, and a rusted music box, but the soft, melancholic, paternal look he bestowed on them had quieted you.

These items which no longer held any meaning to other people, had meaning to him. It was this that made you decide to look around again, to see if you had missed out on any of those so called treasures. There was a set of figurines you thought might be nice, but you stopped in front of the pile of plushies. How had you missed this? Battered, and dirty, the stuffed dog had certainly seen better days, but you chose him.

Zeta-7 did happen to question your reasoning for buying the stuffed dog, and you told him that you knew it was yours.

______________

The world was spinning. Round and round you went, until you have had enough. You didn’t have a computer chair at your house, so when you saw the one in his office, you sat down, and spun around until you thought you were going to throw up. No you weren’t high, or drunk, but just a silly human who kept themselves easily entertained.

Zeta-7 chuckled from the doorway, and you paused, as though you were in trouble. You did warn him that you tended to wander about, and if left unsupervised, might hurt yourself. He asked if you would join him in the garage, for he had something to show you. Various paintings lined the walls of the hallway, their themes ranging from winter scenes to fantasy worlds, like the kind you’d see in shows like Star Trek. You almost hit your head on the English ivy while entering the garage, and were careful not to step on the pothos vine.

In the past, he warned you about the dangers of his garage, and of the items and chemicals he kept in there, so you avoided it. Oh, but he had so much cool stuff in there. You two stopped in front of his work bench, and on it sat the ornate box. It must have been another one of his gadgets, or a repair job. Still, it must have been important if he wanted to show you.

You asked what it was. It seemed this was the question he was waiting for you to ask. You swore there were stars in his eyes, this joy, why it made him look years younger. As he explained all the mechanical components, going through the process used, and what it was, you were taking photos of him to look at later. Rick didn’t seem to mind, but he paused in the middle of his explanation.

You put away your phone, apologizing, but not sorry to have a few more cute pics of him. With your permission, he took your hand and placed it upon the box. It was vibrating, as though it were alive. Together, you opened the box, a prerecorded greeting could be heard from the hidden speakers. Then, a small figure sprung out of the metal flower inside.

The figure looked like Zeta-7, from its chest cavity popped out a tiny stringed instrument. It’s glass eyes winked, and the song played, with a chip tune accompaniment. You gasped, this song, it was the one he played the day you met Zeta-7.

_______________

For years, you two had lived in the same town, in the same neighborhood, only houses away from each other. It was funny how you two seemed to miss each other, though Rick would later tell you it was because of his job. You had been carrying groceries, thinking of what you might have for dinner when you tripped. You cursed to yourself, and almost cried when you realized your doritos broke. Zeta-7 had been working in the garage at the time, and saw when you fell across the street.

Together, you two mourned over the loss of your precious doritos. After you brought your groceries to your place, he invited you for some tea. You were wary, you didn’t really know him, but he thought it would be a great way to get to know his neighbor. In the end, he brought over a cordless tea kettle, and you two drank your cheap green tea on your porch, talking about everything and nothing. You might have passed it off as nothing but company with a stranger, but what won you over was his little performance.

With his phone, he played the song on a ukulele app.

Smile, though your heart is aching

Smile, even though it’s breaking

When there are clouds in the sky

you’ll get by

If you smile through your fear and sorrow

Smile and maybe tomorrow

You’ll see the sun come shining through

for you….

The rest, was history.

___________________

Back inside the house, you two sipped on hot chocolate. In the corner of the living room, was a neat coffee table you hadn’t seen before. You kneeled beside it, and passed your hand over the mosaic tile. Underneath one of its legs was a book, missing its cover. You knew, this must of been one of his yard sale finds, but with a makeover. You asked why he didn’t fix the wobbly leg, he told you it gave it character, and that the book needed a friend.

Over and over you passed your hand over the table, strangely entranced by how cool it felt to the touch. It had been broken, but he made it right. Thinking back to the music box, it was the same old music box, but with a makeover, possibly using parts from the electronics. Resting your head on its surface, you found comfort in this knowledge. Zeta-7 saw the best in everything and everyone, even when you couldn’t see it yourself.

You sat there so long, that he joined you in admiration of the table. Why, you sighed, and he told you that he thought you needed a friend. No, you replied, you were talking about the knick knacks. Resting his head beside yours, he told you a fantastical story, one you that you didn’t think you could believe. He told you about his life, about the universe, and how there were other Ricks, but he was a fluke among their kind.

No, he was not an alien, but he had been to space. No, he was not a clone, but he knew how to create one. In his way, he explained as one would with a child this information, which could one day put you in harm’s way. Like the items which he had bought, what others considered garbage, useless, and unwanted, he thought of himself like them. In his home, they became like kin, and he’d find a way for them to be happy just like he strived to be.

Foolish it was to personify the lifeless, items which could never love him back, but they were his, and he gave them a home. Like his plants, they were his friends, and though he knew better, they remained so. You knew that he was different, and you found that at the end of his story, it didn’t matter. Zeta-7 was himself, he was his own person, and no clone, no alien, or creature could say otherwise. Above a whisper, he asked if you were disappointed.

No, you smiled, because you had chosen him. Just like he had chosen to see the good in everything, even if it meant nothing, he saw something in you, and you saw it in him. With his permission you laced his hand, and told him about the stuffed dog you had bought. After you had taken it home, you fixed him up. Though he would always look a little worn, it’s story wasn’t over.

Rick sighed, giving your hand a squeeze. Your kindred spirit, he was too pure for this universe. Something about you must have been good if he wanted you. Out of everyone in the universe, this silly old man, who loved his plants, crafts, and ukulele, wanted you. You hummed, a giggle escaping you when he told you that you looked pretty at this angle. You asked if he would show you the music box again, and he jumped up and ran for it.

Funny, he moved like running was something he was used to doing. Reluctant, you moved away from that little table, but you were sure that you’d be together soon.

__________

Your hot chocolate wasn’t so hot anymore, so you popped it in the microwave. You wondered what was taking him so long, and feeling a little hungry, popped some popcorn. Considering his sweet tooth, you dressed it up with toppings. Another thing you two shared was your love of toppings. Like, if you two ordered a pizza, you’d want as many as they are willing to put on, and the funnyman that he was would ask for a larger pizza just so that you two could have even more toppings.

With your bowl of buttery, crunchy goodness, you found that sweet spot on the couch, and waited. After twenty minutes, you left the empty bowl in the sink and wandered around, poking things you liked. You knocked on the garage door, and entered. He was tinkering with something, and froze when you laughed. Zeta-7 told you he was inspired to create a device, but it’s purpose was a surprise.

You sighed, knowing what would be best to do. You told him you were going to go home, and his hands stopped. He didn’t want you to go, he liked having you around, having someone to ask questions, to interrupt the silence which seemed to follow him. And you, you didn’t want to distract him, so you told him it would be best if you went home. Zeta-7 offered to walk to walk you to your home, but it was alright.

Sometimes he didn’t understand, and you had to choose your words carefully. There was no need to be desperate, to constantly please, and while it made you happy, it hurt you to see him so anxious. You told him that you loved it when he was himself, even like this, being the man who adored science as much as he loved everything else that he did. You turned to go, but he asked if you could wait a moment. Removing his goggles and gloves, he stood, making his way to where you were.

If you allowed him, he would go entertain you, then come back to finish the job after you left. Yet, if you let him go, he could finish the job, but feel guilty, and anxious over what caused you to go. You told him to choose what he wanted to do. You didn’t want him to feel guilty, and you didn’t want to stand in the way of his work, and whatever he chose, you’d respect his decision. You, he said, he wanted to be with you.

Be it here in the garage, or in the house, if you were around, he’d be able to relax a little. So you stayed, even for a little while longer. You asked questions when appropriate, handed him tools if they were out of his reach, and flirted when he was doing calculations, causing him to drop his pencil. When he was satisfied, he stopped tinkering, and apologized if it was boring. If watching him mutter to himself, blissful, with those gentle hands, carefully piecing together a device that did who-knows-what was boring, then you didn’t deserve him.

What had he done for you to want him he asked. How was it possible, that anything or anyone could like him, when he was so himself. You asked for his permission, his reply firm, but doubtful as to why you’d want to touch him. Pulling your chair close, your knees touched his.Intertwining your hands, you kissed them, and you colored him a picture with words.

As a writer, you knew a great deal of words which could flatter or please, but sincerity in the dearest form would be enough. You pointed out that he was an elysian creature, that his creativity, and how his capable hands created works of peace and love. Combing your fingers through his hair, you described his intelligent, orphic, beautiful mind. And while he was not young, he had varedity, and how his thoughts communicated with his body, and how his body, expressed itself so honestly, that you were surprised the whole world hadn’t fallen in love with him. You weren’t old enough, creative enough, or intelligent to describe him completely, for many of his virtues were ineffable.

If one were to trace those invisible qualities, they would lose themselves in a universe with so many stars, they would die before they could count them all. Zeta-7 wasn’t great, but unforgettable. You told him to stop you if he was uncomfortable, but he was contemplative. You thought you said too much and pulled away, but his grip was strong, and he told you he wished to know the rest.

You told him he could not fix you, that these feelings of yours weren’t broken, but designed, and with his actions, he painted you splendor. In his ear, you whispered every way he drove you wild, and how it was dangerous for him to be around someone like you, since you were at a constant state of wanting to kiss him. Then you pulled away a little, and sighed, telling him because you were only human, you would kiss him if you didn’t govern yourself. And while he was attractive to you, it was only because his soul was so beautiful. Wrapping your arms around him, you kissed him softly, telling him you should go.

Yet, not before he gave you the ornate box. You couldn’t believe that it was for you, you didn’t even feel like you deserved it, but he wanted you to have it. Why, you asked him, why did he make the music box for you. As though it weren’t already obvious, he chuckled. Being your neighbor, he had seen you over the years, was curious, but afraid to say anything. Rick suspected you were quite a character, and that when you two finally met, all he wanted was to know you, and see you smile back.

[adrenalineguide]

Storing Your Precious for the Winter and Winter Tire Rebates

Pics and Words By Michael Hozjan

I don’t know about you but while the rest of the world is out getting in the last few days of leaf peeping, I’m in the garage getting my pride and joy set up for the long winter hibernation. And yes it’s never too early as I found out last year with a surprise snowstorm. OUCH that one hurt. (Below)

Whether it’s your old 1949 Ford, 2020 Ferrari or even your lawn mower, the following steps should keep your wheels in tip top shape over the winter months and be ready for that first turn of the ignition key come spring.

The Car Wash

After a long summer on the road getting pelted by acid rain, baked under the scorching sun, spat on with road debris by passing semis, this is the time to give your ride a thorough wash. I like to start off with the undercarriage and wheel wells first. If you don’t have a pressure washer to wash the grime off the underneath take it to the local do-it-yourself hi jet wash.

With the chassis clean I head back to my driveway, that way when the car is washed I can just park it in the garage and start on the mechanical portion. Wash the shiny side by hand with a mild soap specifically made for cars. DO NOT use dish washing soap or other household cleaners as they can strip the wax and promote oxidation.

Note: I NEVER use the car wash’s brush on my car. I learned the hard way decades ago when I used the brush on an Audi hood. There were all kinds of small rocks and road salt in the brush…you guessed it, a paint job for one hood.

Above: Claude (middle) and his crew can often be seen at car shows in Quebec and Ontario putting their detailing expertise to the test.

A couple of years back Claude Sevigny, my paint and finish guru, whose a special events co-coordinator and technical support specialist for Meguiar’s since 1988, showed me that just washing a car down with mild soap isn’t enough. After the wash he uses a clay bar when detailing show cars to get as close to 100% of contaminants off the car’s surface as possible. He follows that up with a good polish and wax.  Remember wax will not bring back the shine, so the time you put in today will pay off in years to come. Come spring all you need is go over the car with some quick detailer and car is ready to go, and we all know how anxious we get in spring to go for that first drive.

There are a slew of videos on the net to show you the proper procedures on how to and what not to do to get your ride sparkling, including how to clay bar.  My personal favorites are on You Tube; simply punch in how to wash your car Meguiars. Yes they are promotions for their products but they are very helpful.

If you don’t have the inclination or time, then take it to your local detailer/ car wash. Claude is also available to handle the job. See his contact info at the bottom.

Fill’er up

While you’re out at the car wash, fill your gas tank with non-ethanol fuel. As a matter of fact if you’ve been using regular or mid-grade gasoline you may want to run a couple of tankfuls of super just to clear the ethanol out to prevent varnish build up in your carb or fuel injectors. As an added precaution I’ll pour in a fuel stabilizer with my last fill up. Yes I do put super into all my gas-powered tools that get stored for the winter.

Oil changes are crucial to the longevity of engines and I’ve been reminded several times by a friend that I do more oil changes than needed. But it’s a small price to pay to keep my big investments in tiptop shape. For those of us who have older rides we know that there are probably some unwanted fluids in our oil pan after a season’s use, be it coolant, gasoline or even fuel vapors in the crankcase. Needless to say anyone of these will corrode internal engine parts over the winter. A clean oil pan full of fresh oil will minimize the chances.

This is also the best time to top off your antifreeze, particularly if your garage isn’t heated. The last thing you want is a cracked block. My buddy, an aerospace worker, pointed out to me something I wasn’t aware of. Aluminum radiators tend to leak prematurely because of the various metals that antifreeze travels through. It’s called galvanic corrosion. The topic came up while I was trying to pry the steel shaft of our X-Trails’ rear wiper loose from some kind of alloy base. So those of you who’ve added aluminum rads to their vintage rides, take a closer look before you store it.

With the mechanicals out of the way let’s turn our attention to the interior. I like to put a thin coat of Vaseline or spray DEEP LUBE around the rubber door and trunk seals as well as the rubber stops under the hood. Matter of fact I do the same to my winter rides – not only does it keep the stored vehicles’ rubber from drying out but it helps keep the rubber from freezing to the metal in ice storms.  

Of Mice and Cars

Mice are a big problem for stored cars. They wreak havoc not only on our interiors but also the wiring. Irish Spring works best to keep rodents away. Leave an open box under the hood, trunk and passenger compartment. I also add a container of DampRid (available at Walmart) to keep moisture to a minimum.

We all know that a dry heated garage is best, sadly my unheated garage has a cement floor that is damp. I’ve gone old school and placed large cardboard boxes under my car. Seems like after our move, every year we end up buying another big-ticket item. Two years ago it was a hot water tank, presto the cardboard box it came in fit perfectly under my car when I cut it open. This year it was a washer dryer set so I’m OK for this winter.

You’re ready to jack your car up to keep the tires from flat spotting. Place the jack stands under the axles/tables to keep the suspension compressed. If you don’t have jack stands inflating the tires to 50 psi will keep them from flat spotting but remember to bring the pressure back in spring.

Lastly you’ll want to keep your battery in tip-top shape. On newer cars, that are especially fussy if the battery is disconnected, a battery tender will keep your battery going and keep all the car’s vitals in check while parked.  If you don’t have a garage or have an older ride, you can remove the battery and bring it in where it won’t freeze. I add a dab of dielectric grease (available at most auto parts stores) to the terminals to keep them from corroding. Call me overly cautious but I also spray some Deep Lube Plus (dielectric lubricant) on my exposed wire connections.

Car covers are a good investment, but not all car covers are the same. Invest in a good, soft breathable cover and whatever you do, never put a tarp over your pride and joy. My Beetle spent thirty years in a garage with about six blankets on it before I rescued it, with minimal amount of rust as a result.

There you have it. If you’ve followed the steps your precious should be safe for the long hibernation and come spring be ready for that first drive in no time.

Winter Tire Rebates

Ok we’ve put baby to bed but let’s now look at your daily winter driver. If it’s time to renew your winter tires or are getting your first set for that new ride, you’re in luck. Hankook Tire of Canada just announced that they are offering a rebate on select sets of winter tires on their Hankook and Laufenn Brands purchased between October 19th, 2020 and November 27th, 2020.

You have to purchase four tires to qualify, but that’s what you should be doing anyway. Be sure to visit their websites for more details. 

Above: The Laufenn LW71L Ice Radial