#seems like hypocrisy runs in the family

[tolkien-povs]

Just something about how Maglor composing the Noldotantë and committing three more kinslayings afterwards has the same/ similar vibe as Fëanáro yelling, "Get thee gone from my gate thou jail-crow of Mandos" and him literally trying to follow and enter the gate of said jail-crow.

[igotanidea]

Almost there: Anthony Bridgerton x reader

part 1: Too much

part 2 : Not enough

***

„One of those days you will get us both in trouble, Eloise.”

Due to some miracle, Y/N and her second-in-age sister in law managed to escape the watchful gaze of all, lady Danburry, Violet and Daphne, and rushed forward on the promenade. It was generally frowned upon, that the married lady strolled in the presence of a girl, who wasn’t even a débutante yet, but neither of those two seemed to take much interest in ton’s opinion.

“Trouble from merely speaking the truth?”

“Shall I remind you that this virtue is long forgotten in the society full of hypocrisy and deceit?” Y/N whispered taking Eloise’s arm to at least keep the pretences of being discreet. It would be unwise to let anyone else eavesdrop on the little exchange of words between close friends.

“It’s almost like you don’t trust me, my dear sister-in-law.” Eloise chuckled feigning the pompous tone.

“Please don’t ever call me like that again. You were my friend before you were my family. Don’t put the distance between us now. ”

“If anything I’d dare say I’m the reason you met with Anthony and –“ the sentence was cut out abruptly, as Eloise realised that Y/N was currently in the middle of a heavy argument with her husband. An argument that made her flee the house and turned out on the doorstep on the other Bridgerton’s house announced, in search for a friendly soul to talk to. And now she actually realised that all that may have been her fault from the beginning. If Y/N and Anthony have never met, they never would have fought and never—

“Stop overthinking it, dear.” The current viscountess chuckled observing her friend’s slightly hazy gaze and recognising it instantly. Clearly Eloise was getting lost in her own head.

‘Do not call me that!” the girl’s eyes became sharp and conscious again “I can hardly stand being called that affectionately by my mother, let alone by you.”

“Worked just as planned though.”

“Well, my biggest congratulations on being effective in the matter. You are almost as good at me with it.” 

“Oh, almost? From what I can recollect I taught you most of those tricks.” Y/N smiled brightly.

“Really?” Eloise raised an eyebrow “I can’t remember. Hey what do you say we run away from our chaperones and have a proper, meaningful discussion on what’s troubling you?”

“I wish it was that easy. But I’m a wife now and apparently –“

“Viscountess Bridgerton!” a sudden voice came from in front of them and Y/N felt like actually taking Eloise advice and rushing off. It was almost like the whole world decided to prey on her misery on that particular day. First lady Danburry, now lady Featherington. “How lovely to see you! Marriage serves you well. You are beaming, dear.”

Y/N gritted her teeth in hardly hidden annoyance at such obvious show of nosiness and lack of tact. She knew instantly that she had to cut the conversation short before another wave of unwanted questions about her blessed (or not) state would come.

‘Lady Featherington. Pleasure to see you there. Are your daughters accompanying you or are they occupied with their upcoming prenuptial agreements? I surely hope they would be as fortunate with their future husbands as I am with mine. And speaking of which, if you excuse me, I need to discuss a very urgent matter on the subject with my family.”She put an emphasis on two last word and not waiting for response, abandoning all the rules of the lady behaviour, tried to drag Eloise away almost sighing deeply in frustration.

„Oh, but viscountess, once Penelope weds Colin, we will be a family.” lady Featherington stopped both girls in their tracks before they managed to escape.

„I beg your pardon, what now?”

‘Oh, you didn’t know, viscountess? Your brother-in-law is about to marry my youngest daughter. By some miracle, clearly, since Penelope--” Portia started rambling without a care in the world.

„Oh I know about that part.” Y/N faked a smile that didn’t reach her eyes „I merely have the deep conviction that us becoming family is rather an improbable claim.”

„But--”

„Dearest lady Featherington, do not push my hand here. I would rather stay in amity with you. A very fragile alliance shall you pry into my private matters. I dare say you have a certain interest in using those bold statements? ”

„I beg your pardon?”

„The viscount, is still in the charge of his famliy’s - our family’s finances. And that shall include the future fortune of Colin. Shall you insist on intruding me during my leisure time I might have a word with my husband.”

„You truly do not  disgrace yourself with being modest, do you, Y/N? Has social advancement changed you so much? I clearly remember you being a scrawny child with no aspiration and position and look at you now. A snake in a sparkish dress.”

„She can at least choose the colour that highlights her beauty and doesn't make her look like--”

„Thank you Eloise.” Y/N cut her off before she could cause some more havoc. Lady Featherington was an onerousness but her gossiping nature was something Y/N did not need in the current situation. „I shall believe lady Portia will keep our little conversation in mind for the future purposes. Hers and her daughter’s.

„Actually if the viscount is around --”

„Unfortunately, matters of utmost importance kept him at home today.” Y/N responded with the most patience she could gather at the moment. There was always a possibility of farewelling the unwanted company, but as previously stated - there was no need of spreading the rumours of some discrepancies between the newlyweds. This hydra had to be beheaded immediately before the news spread throughout London.

„Such a shame you were left to tend for yourself then viscountess.”

„I shall believe I’d receive the most warm welcome back once my husband free himself of all the duties and occupations.”

***

While Y/N was having a lively discussion with indefatigable Portia Featherington, someone was observing her closely from behind the tree, staying unnoticed themselves.

 “Are you spying on her now?”

“I’m not spying!”

“Oh really? Then tell me brother, why on Earth would you hide in the bush instead of accompanying your wife on the promenade? If I were you –“

“Good thing you are not.” Anthony muttered grumpily keeping his eyes fixed on his wife’s silhouette. Even with her cheeks reddened from the indignation and eyes sparkling with cunning intelligence she was the most beautiful woman he has ever laid his eyes on. If anything, those characteristic may have only been adding to her charm.

he viscount may not have heard all the words exchanged between two ladies, but the way Y/N was keeping lady Portia at bay, standing her own ground and not wavering in the slightest was admirable and worthy of a viscountess. Serving as a reminder that his wife was not a fragile bird who was - in his opinion- in dire need of his protection and care, but rather  a capable, strong woman, who would survive on her own.

Which brought him to another conclusion - that she didn’t rely on him as much as he expected her to. That she was proud enough to get the audacity to leave his home, leave him and decided (solely by herself!) to pay a visit to his sister.

“If I were you—“ Benedict grinned mischievously “I would run and drag Y/N away from Eloise before those two officially call you an idiot and make a plan for Y/N to leave you for good.” apparently the second son was capable of reading his older brother’s mind and pointing out all the worries that were already inside viscount’s head

“She would never.”

“I am unaware of the scope of your failure, but given the fact your wife rushed to Eloise, out of all the people must have been immense.”

“That’s it!’ Anthony hissed, almost crawling out from behind the tree, ready to clear this misunderstanding immediately.

***

„Oh, my dear!” Lady Featherington placed her hands on her hips as if she wanted to emphasize her higher position and knowledge of male-female relations. „Do not occupy yourself with the romance fantasies. Courtship is gone once the knot is tied. And after a child is born--” her gaze landed on Y/N’s stomach „you put all the efforts into keeping the family afloat and secure the future of the offspring.”

„I believe--”

„Viscountess, you are so young. So naive and innocent. Fed on the novels and stories.”

„Most of which cover the topic of history, literature and medicine rather than Shakespeare plays.” now the young woman was getting angry her cheeks flushing  „topics which I boldly presume are far from your interest.”

„I beg your-”

„I kindly forgive you, lady Featherington. Now if you excuse us - I shall wish you a good day.”

„I am not--”

„Lady Featherington.”

The sudden deep voice coming from behind made all the ladies turn around at once.

„Viscount.” Portia bowed slightly „I was just having a little chat with your wife.”

„Educating her on the specificity of marital relations?”

„Giving her some of the knowledge that her prematurely deceased mother - God rest her soul - did not have the opportunity to teach her”

„How kind of you.” Anthony almost smirked and Y/N had to muffle the chuckle forming in the back of her throat looking down. It was like she saw the old him. „However I suppose that once I am here, you shall be free of your educative duties?”

„I--”

„do not preoccupy yourself my lady. My wife shall not lack the company from now on.” having said that, Antony walked right to Y/N offering her an arm and - a sight truly unexpected - bid the older lady goodbye while leading the viscountess away.

„I didn’t need you to save me.”

„such a shame I happened to be around then.”

„My undoing indeed.”

„Unforunate event that you might have to keep the externals for the duration of a stroll.” Anthony held her tighter and closer to him while nodding head to the acquaintance.

***

„Did you gather some intel on the current situation of our brother and his lovely wife?” Benedict, who followed the two of them without any hesitation, asked Eloise.

„I am Y/N’s confidante, I shall never-”

„You cannot trick me sister.”

„Anthony is an idiot.”

„I had quite a feeling you would say something like that. Now- shall we interfere or remain passive observers as Antony makes a fool of himself begging for her forgiveness?”

Eloise smirked as they continued their following.

She and Benedict always understood each other without words.

Edit: part 4 Stuck

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[kirain]

I decided to make adult designs and "where are they now" stories for all the child tieflings who are confirmed to survive to Act 3.

Unbeknownst to her, Arabella was a latent sorcerer with a natural connection to the Weave. Her powers likely would've manifested at puberty, but touching the idol of Silvanus imbued her with wild druid magic, multiclassing her prematurely. This caused an internal struggle between the two powers, which threatened to rip her and anyone around her apart. Fortunately, with Withers' guidance, she set out to follow the Weave and found balance in her new, strange abilities. For years she traveled Faerûn alone, honing her skills and making peace with her past. Eventually, she became known as the "Wondering Storm", so attuned to nature some would mistake her for Silvanus' Chosen. Those who crossed her, however, would swear she was Jergal's Chosen; able to end a life with a single stare. Though not unkind, Arabella became feared by many for her stoic personality, mysterious presence, and peculiar command of the Weave. It seemed that wherever she was needed, she would inexplicably be.

Though Raphael went silent, Mol continued to enjoy, and perhaps abuse, the gifts from her patron. With the Absolute defeated, she quickly clawed her way up the ranks of the Guild, eventually becoming a pseudo ward to Nine-Fingers Keene. For years she would sharpen her skills, mentored by Keene and her most trusted associates, until she challenged the notorious crime lord to a duel for leadership. Much to her surprise, Keene lost, and was therefore forced to relinquish command to the young tiefling. Seeing the move as a betrayal, however, the Guild's loyalty was split, causing the criminal powerhouse to fracture. This led to a dark time for the Guild, with many in Baldur's Gate referring to it as the "Outlaw Civil War". Much blood was shed during this conflict, but eventually Mol turned the tides in her favour, running Keene and those still loyal to her out of the city. She would go on to rebuild the Guild in her image, successfully and more fearsome than ever; though, when she approached her old colleagues with an invitation to join, they all declined.

Once he managed to enter the city, Mattis tried to find his companions from the Grove, but he ultimately turned his sights to conning rich families with "panaceas from the hells". For a while, he flourished under this racket, until his scheme was exposed by jealous competition. This led to him being violently assaulted by angry customers, nearly ending his life—he only survived by rolling into a rapid canal. After being saved by a kind, impoverished couple who fished him out of the water, he spent nearly three months confined to a bed. His recovery was slow and agonizing, but hardly discouraging. Instead of succumbing to his misery, he took the time to plot his revenge. With the couple's help, he learned the laws of the land and revived his strength. Then, when able, he cut his hair, disguised his face, spied on the man who wronged him, and subsequently tricked him into signing his business over to the couple. Together, they turned the questionable business into something respectable. Mostly. Mattis' silver tongue finally became an asset, rather than a survival tactic, though he was never above a good swindle.

Ide and Umi took up arms during the Absolute's attack on the city, each of them basking in the action. Realising that Umi had developed an insatiable bloodlust, and itching for more battles herself, Ide suggested they enlist into the army. Though technically too young, the new General—appointed by High Duke Ravengard after the fall of the Absolute—accepted them as apprentices until they came of age.

Though their time with the Flaming Fist was imperative to their training and survival, they found the rules and hypocrisy of the troop disheartening, and even more so when the General died. Eventually they deserted, leaving Baldur's Gate entirely and starting a small band of vigilantes. To some, they were a menace. To others, they became heroes of the Sword Coast. No matter the case, Ide and Umi were inseparable, never seen apart.

Inspired by his saviours, Mirkon continued to write stories about his time in the Grove and his rescue from the harpies. He never found his parents, but he refused to live in the slum's orphanage. Life was hard for the young tiefling, often forcing him to grovel for food and coin. On the worst days, he found comfort turning his stories into songs, which he slowly morphed into a semi-profitable street act. This eventually caught the attention of Alfira, who one day happened to be passing by. Recognising his talent, and overjoyed to be reunited, she took him in and taught him how to play the violin. Together, they created a lucrative show that expanded well beyond the Elfsong Tavern, which aided Alfira in opening her dream college. She and Lakrissa would soon adopt Mirkon, and he would later become one of the most beloved and celebrated instructors at the college.

Though working as a hawker for the Baldur's Mouth kept Silfy fed and relatively sheltered, she grew listless. Dealing with rude and racist customers hardened her enough to snap back, resulting in her termination. With nowhere to go, she found herself wandering into Ramazith's Tower, where she implored Rolan for a job. Feeling for her plight, Rolan put her to work stocking shelves and filling orders. It wasn't exciting work, but she was safe and satisfied, until one day a customer's tome exploded, causing a flurry of rainbow flames that whirled into the shape of a unicorn. This event, though frightening, would inspire Silfy to start reading the books in the shop, with the help of Tolna and Rolan. To everyone's surprise, she proved to have an impressive aptitude for magic, and she soon found herself enthralled. Within just a few years, Silfy would be accepted into Blackstaff Academy, where she would excel in her studies and catch the eye of the great Vajra Safahr. She would offer Silfy a position in the school, as well as a mentorship, but Silfy would politely decline, graduate, and return to Bauldr's Gate. Her true home.

[we-stan-cale]

I meant to post something about when Cale received the letter from the God of Death, but that whole bit is just too damn good. I basically focused on reading it and didn't really think of writing about it.

This is where we truly start to learn about Kim Rok Soo's past. There were a lot of teasers before - learning that his Korea has monsters, that he was a Team Leader, that his company dealt with monsters and corrupt guilds. That he had an ability like Record.

There were some flashbacks, especially to some of his interactions with Choi Jung Soo (who we learned died before him back when Cale had that memory after fighting the golems) and Lee Soo Hyuk...

And then we got the letter from the God of Death, and Kim Rok Soo had a truly traumatic flashback to when they all died.

I think this is the first time we truly saw him shaken? The guy with the perfect memory, the guy who could record and playback everything, experienced something so traumatic that his records were broken.

We see that Kim Rok Soo was an analyst. A very good one. One able to predict a terrible monster (and thus felt guilty that his entire team died fighting said monster -though he seems to have worked through that. Some. Mostly.

We see how he interacted with his friends, really his family. And in a subordinate role, unlike most of what we've seen.

There's this bit where he'd overused his ability and had a bloody nose, and Lee Soo Hyuk tells him

‘Kim Rok Soo, wipe your nosebleed. You should get some rest if you have overloaded.’

Which contrasts with after their deaths, when he's briefing the reinforcements and notes

The reinforcements all focused on his explanation, but nobody said anything about wiping his bloody nose.

So much desolation from such a small thing.

And the request to retrieve their bodies! Over and over again, we've seen how much Cale cares about retrieving bodies and showing respect for the dead. Insisting on improving the graves at Harris Village, recovering all the remains from the Path of No Return, protecting the dead in the fight against Adin...

While that didn't solely come from this incident (the losses in his monster torn Korea played a role, this is why he truly understands how important that is for the ones left behind.

And we also see how he didn't want his team to fight that monster. He knew, with all his analytical skills, that it was too powerful. That it was likely that they'd all die. Even though even more people would die if they didn't (since the guild in that area had run away).

He straight up says how it made him feel.

The reinforcements had been too late. Boom. Boom. Cale’s heart suddenly ran wild. The sense of responsibility, anger, and sorrow that had made Kim Rok Soo’s heart boil had risen. 

A responsibility to stay alive (even if he doesn't really want to), to carry on in Lee Soo Hyuk's place ('I leave it to you').

We learn why he despises the concept of heroic sacrifice so much, why he works so hard to come up with plans that ensure nobody has to. That nobody is ever in the position where they feel compelled to do so (though if it does come to that, he'd rather be the one to do so... Than be the one left behind. Again.)

And there's this, that he thinks after Raon and Alberu break his flashback (such good friends and family) and he finishes the letter.

Cale knew that he was selfish and bad and that he cherished people who were important to him the most.

Selfish - because he wishes his team had run away and survived? Bad - because he knows that if they had, many more would have suffered instead?

He cares, he cares so damn much. And he also seems to hate himself quite a bit, though I say that not just because of this. Also his hypocrisy towards scars, where it's fine in Mary and Hannah and a sign of survival, but disgusting and something to hide in himself. That, and numerous other things that don't seem obvious at first because damn is he good at masking it and seeming normal, but yeah...

This whole scene is just so well done, means so much, answers so many of our questions, and once you know about it you can see how it affected everything.

Addendum: we also see a contrast between what Cale recalls here, and what Choi Han experiences with Choi Jung Soo's memories. Especially how he saw Kim Rok Soo use a metal board as a shield to defend him, and shortly after broke an arm.

Cale didn't mention that at all, didn't explain why he couldn't move when you he reinforcements came.

[somedaylazysomeday]

Good Intentions Part Twenty-Four

Ongoing Silco x fem!reader fic (no use of 'y/n')

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 3,600

Warnings: References to sex as a form of payment, depression, arguments, blame, mentions of dishonesty, hypocrisy, exhaustion, general angst.

Previous | Next | Masterlist

---

Contrary to what some people believed, you weren’t an idiot. 

You had known the risks of openly defying Silco’s orders. You had known he was serious when he threatened to leak the details of your history - the business half of it - to the Piltover Council. You had known how poorly he was going to take it when you ended your deal and kicked him out of the Haven. 

But you had done it all anyway. 

Silco had promised to destroy your life and, so far, he seemed to be dedicated to keeping that promise. He released just enough about your working relationship to confirm that you were working together. He hadn’t released anything that implied you were sleeping together, but there were people who had speculated based on the information they had. The worst was that they weren’t wrong. 

As expected, the Piltover Council had canceled the task force. Piltover-Undercity relations would have to struggle along as they always had, apparently. Without you to provide a moral link between the academics of Piltover and the needy people of the Undercity, the Council had elected to scrap the project entirely. 

They had been fairly polite about it, at least. They had cited a questionable business connection for their reasoning and left it at that. Since Silco wasn’t officially doing anything illegal, a link between him and the Haven shouldn’t have been a dealbreaker. But since everyone knew that Silco was a major force behind Shimmer, that was all the evidence the Piltover Council had needed to make their decision. 

No, you hadn't been surprised by the way things had gone, but you would be lying if you said you weren't disappointed. Even with all of your logic and pragmatism, some tiny part of you had hoped that the Piltover Council would say it didn't matter, or allow you to make your case. 

Instead, you were left to gather the pieces of a life that Silco had done his best to destroy. Donations to the Haven had dried up - you hadn't heard from HexTech yet, but the steady stream of smaller, private donors was gone. 

The lack of donations put strain on the Haven, but not nearly as much as your sudden personnel issues did. When the news about your ties to Silco had first broken, the people who helped you run the Haven tried to close ranks around you. They assured you that everyone knew it was a lie and that they didn’t believe a single word of it. 

Admitting that it was true had been one of the most difficult conversations of your life. The disbelief turned to disappointment, then to discomfort as everyone had left the room. 

Everyone except Arunn. 

“It isn’t true,” he had insisted. 

“I haven’t been entirely honest with you. With any of you. But I’m not going to lie, not about this and especially not now.” You had shaken your head slowly, trying to keep from spiraling into self-loathing. “I accepted a donation from him when we were desperate for donors. And then I met with him while he worked to keep the Haven from being attacked a second time.” 

Arunn’s face had twisted like he was fighting back tears. “How?” 

“The security officers,” you explained. “I didn’t have the money to hire them, not with such an influx of new patients, and-” 

“No,” Arunn interrupted. “How could you work with that… monster? How could you work with him - let him fund all of this - knowing that he was the reason why these people are here?”

Guilt writhed in your guts. “It seemed like the least he could do. Help clean up the mess he had made, you know?” 

“He took everything from me,” Arunn whispered. “I had a career before Shimmer. I had a family. And Silco did everything but feed it to me himself. How could you accept money from him? A man who has ruined so many lives?” 

You had been struck silent at the raw pain in his voice. But Arunn wasn’t done. He gave you a last baleful look. “Did you ever care about us at all? About me?”

“Arunn…”

He had shaken your hand off of his shoulder and stormed out. That was the last time you had seen him.

Hope filled you when you were called to one of the Haven’s meeting rooms a few days after your confrontation with Arunn. You wondered if he had decided to forgive you, to reconcile. It would be a relief to have a friend by your side while your life burned. However, it was not Arunn waiting for you, but Jazper.

You would think you would have realized that hope was not an overly kind emotion for someone whose life was in the state that yours was. 

“Jazper,” you greeted, wary but striving for pleasant. “Good to see you.” 

He laughed bitterly and any remaining happiness left you. Clearly, this was not meant to be a pleasant, friendly visit. 

“I can’t stay long,” he told you. “It’s not good for anyone’s image to be seen spending much time with you.” 

That hurt more than you wanted to admit, so you silently inclined your head. When you took a seat, Jazper sat across the table from you. 

“I thought you should know that Arunn has gotten a job working for Ronid. With his apartment complex getting ready to open, he needed the help and Arunn has been a great fit.” 

“He's an excellent worker,” you agreed numbly.

“Yes.” Jazper eyed you for a moment. “The rest of the Undercity Innovation Committee has requested that you forfeit your seat.”

That forced a mirthless laugh from you. “Sorry. It's just entertaining that an association with Silco is enough to get me banned from the Committee when you had all pushed to get him a seat. Will it be awkward with him there?” 

“Silco has been asked to forfeit his seat as well,” Jazper told you. 

A crooked smile curved your lips at the idea of that, but you managed not to say anything. 

“The fact that he had allowed the neighborhood around the Haven to exist without Shimmer was what recommended him in the first place.” Jazper sighed, allowing his head to dip toward the surface of the table. “After finding out that all of it was because of a deal between you two? No one is in favor of you both sitting on the Committee.” 

“Of course not,” you said, a hint of bitterness creeping into your tone. “They're all pure and innocent, able to keep their businesses afloat with hard work and determination and…. What would you estimate? A fortune each from their families, friends, and Piltover government officials?” 

Jazper shook his head, but you noticed that it was his turn to struggle for words. “That isn’t fair. Cipanni builds only on her previous successes. Micah and Nami-” 

The way you slammed your hands against the surface of the table cut him off mid-sentence. “I am watching everything I’ve worked toward for years fall to pieces because Silco decided to be petty. Never accuse me of being unfair again, Jazper. If anything, think of that unfairness as the excess reflecting off of my life.”

“I understand your frustration,” Jazper agreed at last. 

“Frustration?” You had taken a sip of water and your glass landed more heavily on the table than you had planned. Jazper winced. “I’m frustrated, of course, but this is more than irritation. I am losing everything, Jazper. Half of my volunteer staff has resigned. Arunn is gone, but before he left, he accused of betraying him and every one of the people I am trying to help. I don’t know what I could have done differently, but I’m not sure he’s wrong. The guilt of it all is eating away at me. Frustrated? Yes, of course I am. But I am in mourning, not about my own losses, but my inability to help the people of the Undercity.” 

“I understand.” You snorted, staring down at the table’s surface after your speech, but Jazper kept talking. “No, I truly do. You aren’t the only one who Silco has forced connections with.”

You stared at him, aghast. “You?” 

“Me,” Jazper told you with a rueful smile. “Silco claimed that he could not allow me to continue operating unless he had a way of controlling my business. Tell me, did he threaten to burn down the Haven? That’s what he did with Stonesea.” 

“More than once.” 

Jazper nodded. “I gave in almost immediately. He is not a man one is allowed to refuse, not if one wants to continue living.” 

For a wild moment, you wondered if Jazper was trying to tell you that he had been sleeping with Silco, too. Fortunately, you didn’t ask that aloud. After all, Silco’s donation was the control he wanted. Sleeping with him was how you convinced him to keep Shimmer off the streets. It all contributed to your moral corruption, of course, but you liked to keep the halves separate in your mind. 

Abruptly, the weight of the world settled on your shoulders as you realized that Jazper’s revelation didn’t matter. 

“Then you should tread carefully,” you told him flatly. “If Silco made the same demands to Stonesea as he did with the Haven, he probably has leverage over all of the new businesses in the Undercity. Trying to kick him off of the Committee would only end in you or everyone being threatened with exposure.” 

Jazper shifted uncomfortably in his chair. “I spoke with the other members of the Committee. No one is happy with the idea of Silco having a seat-”

“That’s the only true thing anyone has said about the entire situation.” You sighed, weary beyond reason. “You realize that part of Silco’s power comes from everyone else trying to keep their involvement with him secret, don’t you? If you’re all honest with each other, you’ll regain a lot of control.”

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea…” 

“Then don’t do it.” You stood from your seat, prompting Jazper to stand as well. “I assume your involvement with Silco doesn’t mean that I’m reinstated on the Committee.” 

“No, though I am sorry,” Jazper at least had the grace to look sheepish. “I must seem like the biggest hypocrite.” 

“You do. But Piltover is built on hypocrisy. It’s not surprising that you would need to follow their example if you want to succeed here.” You leveled a look of warning at him. “Just remember - it happened to me. It will happen to you, someday. The moment you start to make Silco feel threatened, or fail to do something he asks you to, you’ll be in exactly the same position as I am now.”

“I know,” Jazper agreed, his voice resigned. “And I dread it every day. All I can do is try to build as much structure as possible before that happens. Maybe it will stay standing when I’m gone.” 

“Like I did.” 

Jazper nodded. “I can’t come back here. I can’t openly help you. For all intents and purposes, this will have to be the last time we speak. All I can do is tell you this: I will keep Arunn working as long as possible. He is a good man and deserves to be part of what we’re building here.” 

“Thank you.” 

“Don’t thank me yet,” Jazper warned. “You aren’t going to like what else I have to say. Some of my Undercity contacts tell me that Silco was lying to you.” 

You froze. Did Jazper know about the exact terms of your deal with Silco? Was that why he was trying to cut himself off from further contact? “What, exactly, was he lying to me about?” 

“I am given to understand that he was trying to find the man who orchestrated the attack on the Haven,” Jazper said. You nodded. “Silco found him. The man died months ago. He was able to drug Silco briefly in the fight and there was speculation that Silco had been poisoned, but he reappeared a day or two later no worse the wear. The other man hasn’t been seen since Whatever Silco made you pay to fund his search for that man, it was a ruse.” 

“I see,” you said carefully. You walked to the door, gesturing toward it. “Thank you for telling me, Jazper. I appreciate it and your friendship more than I can say. It was a pleasure working with you.” 

“And you as well,” he returned graciously. Halfway through the door, Jazper paused, staring back at you. “If you are ever in trouble, please find a way to tell me. I cannot make any public moves, but I will help you if I can.” 

You inclined your head and, with another sad smile, Jazper was gone.

Within the privacy of the meeting room, you buried your head in your heads and let out a shaking breath. No matter how well you knew that Silco couldn’t be trusted, Jazper’s revelation had managed to shock you. 

If the chem baron who had attacked the Haven was dead, that meant that Silco had been extorting you. Even worse, he had been doing so for quite some time. The drugging incident had happened months ago, but his security had remained in place and you had to make double payments to cover the costs. All of that to cover the costs of protecting you from a man who would never again be a threat to anyone. 

The worst part of it was that you couldn’t decipher Silco’s motivations. Whatever they were, it couldn’t help, but you still searched for them. He had called you a source of stress relief in the past - maybe he had been looking for an easy fuck. He had also mentioned that he wanted to compromise your morals, but doubling your payments to keep your outreach from being set on fire (again) didn’t seem like much of a moral compromise. 

You weren’t stupid. You had considered the idea that Silco might have insisted that your payments come more often because he felt something for you. However, you had discarded the idea just as quickly. If Silco had felt anything for you, he wouldn’t have done what he did. Everything - from daring meetings in public to releasing information about your relationship - had been designed to keep the situation firmly under his control. 

At last, you shrugged it all off. As far as you were concerned, Silco was dead to you. There was never a reason to interact with him again. You just had to convince yourself that this was the only option. 

—

Things at the Haven did not improve after Jazper’s visit. The entirety of your staff resigned, leaving you to fill the gaps with anyone who was willing to help out. You personally covered the shortages in the staff, leaving you overextended and exhausted. 

It was a vicious cycle - every day you worked an 18-hour shift was another day you couldn’t go searching for more help or additional donations. The only reason you hadn’t been forced to close the Haven entirely was because HexTech hadn’t canceled their monthly donations yet. 

It was likely that they would. With their community outreach being so new and intended to help build HexTech’s reputation, a link to the Haven could only harm them. Viktor especially had been targeted when HexTech announced that they wouldn’t dump waste directly into the rivers that ran through the Undercity. Piltover critics had lamented that Viktor’s Undercity upbringing was ‘tainting the potential’ of HexTech business practices.

Roughly a week before their next scheduled donation, you started to watch anxiously for the mail. All of Silco’s security had refused to leave on your order, but you had banished them outside of the building itself. They had access to messages before you or anyone else in the Haven did. You had to wonder if they would actually pass along messages to you or if everything went directly to Silco. 

The question was answered for you one day when there was a knock at your door. Your stomach went tight with nerves as you realized that HexTech’s donation was scheduled to arrive three days later. There were good odds that this would be the message in which they canceled their donation. 

You answered the door, already braced for the bad news and to tell whatever guard had ventured inside that you no longer allowed them to enter the Haven. Instead, you stopped short at the sight of Viktor standing there. 

“Viktor!” you greeted clumsily. “I- I was just… Why are you here?” 

“May I come in?” he asked politely. 

You backed away from the door immediately. “Of course. Please, come in. Sit down.” 

Viktor did as you invited, settling heavily into one of the chairs you had set across from your desk. “Jayce and I have heard many things about you and your Haven over the past few weeks. I-” 

“You didn’t need to come.” Your interruption made Viktor give you a hard look, but you simply offered a weary smile. “I just mean that you could have sent a message about HexTech withdrawing your donation. I would have understood. It’s a long trip to make for something I have been expecting for quite a while.” 

Viktor studied you intently, giving off the air of a scientist studying some new bacteria under a microscope. 

“What was the exact nature of your ties to Silco?” he asked. 

You frowned. Surely, he knew all about your ties to Silco, but you indulged him anyway. “I accepted donations from him to keep the Haven open, the to pay for the security guards after we were attacked. He has offered occasional assistance with other parts of the Haven’s daily operations, but nothing that he did not volunteer.” 

“And did you ever put any thought toward why a Chem Baron would be interested in helping people overcome their addictions to his drug?” Viktor pressed. “Especially since that drug appears to be his main source of income?” 

You did your best not to bristle. Viktor didn’t know how long or often you thought about Silco, puzzling over his motivations. And he never would. “For all of the damage his operations do, Silco is remarkably dedicated to the well-being of the people in the Undercity. Additionally, I am give to understand that he enjoyed the challenge of having someone acting against him. It wouldn’t be fun if the deck was stacked too strongly in his favor.”

Viktor seemed to muse over that as you did the same. As far as you were concerned, it was all true. Silco had no reason to make things as easy for you as he had, other than the thrill of corrupting you and the motivation of sleeping with you on a regular basis. 

“Would you say that Silco’s donations impacted the way that you helped the citizens of the Undercity?” Viktor eventually asked. 

“Only insofar as I was able to help more people,” you said firmly. “The Haven has always been and will always be an organization that helps individuals addicted to Shimmer build a life without it. That has never changed, regardless of where our funding came from.” 

Viktor nodded slowly. 

“Jayce and I want to make a new offer.” 

There it was again - that terrible bright hope stabbing through your chest. You tried to contain it as you said, “I haven’t had the best luck with deals lately. What exactly do you propose?” 

“We would like to take over funding of the Haven,” Viktor told you, continuing even when you sat back with shock. “Whatever your base operation costs are. We cannot fund extra expenses such as your security guards, but if you tell us the base amount you need to run the Haven, HexTech pledges to meet that need.” 

“But…” It took a few attempts to speak. “But why? Why help me, after everything that has been said about me and the Haven?” 

Viktor gave a mirthless smile. “As a child, I lived in the Undercity. Did you know that?” 

You nodded, and that smile faded from his angular face. 

“I spent the first fifteen years of my life here,” he mused, glancing around the room as if could see the Undercity through the walls. “I was a bright child. Not socially adept, but I took note of everything that surrounded me. I have the distinct impression that things have not changed since I left.” 

There was no chance that you would be able to speak past the tightness in your throat. You watched in silence as Viktor sat forward, leaning over the desk to fix you with a stare. “I understand what it is like to live here. I understand the sacrifices you must make to help others. I understand the deals you must make with people you would just as soon never meet.”

“Thank you,” you choked out. 

“Do not thank me,” Viktor requested, not unkindly. He levered himself upright, leaning heavily on his cane. “There will always be men like Silco in the Undercity. The only chance the people here have is if people like you are allowed to survive. Send me your operating costs as soon as possible.”

Before he left, Viktor withdrew a check from his pocket and rested it on the desk in front of you as you struggled not to cry. It was enough to keep the Haven running for at least another month, maybe two if you stretched the budget. 

It seemed the Haven would survive Silco after all.

---

Author's Note - Sorry, no Silco this chapter. Again, we're moving into the final arc of this story. I'm still working on writing everything out, but we're looking at another five chapters or so. As of right now, I'm still planning on posting one every month.

Thank you for reading! I'd love to hear what you thought. Have a great day!

START OF VAGUE SPOILERS ABOUT THE ENDING

There's a lot of angst right now, but I do intend for this story to have a happy-ish ending! Just bear with me for a little longer.

END OF VAGUE SPOILERS ABOUT THE ENDING

[etchedjade]

My comfort headcanon is that, instead of going to the house of wind, Nesta decided to run to the human lands instead in a petty act against the IC, as if saying she preferred a sure death than live with Cassian. And you know what court is closest to the human boarders?

The Spring Court.

Nesta going there and kinda forcing Tamlin into taking her in, both turning into reluctant housemates that clash a lot, but Nesta isn't afraid of his beast form and her mean tongue doesn't bother Tamlin. Eventually they become friends because they bond over the ic's hypocrisy and how they've been treated over glasses of wine. They both get their healing arcs together.

She gets to see Eris sometimes, outside the IC machinations, and while they don't like each other yet, she gets to know him a bit better.

Until the IC comes looking for her (because of course Rhysand had Azriel track her down to drag her back) Tamlin helps her escape and guess who ends up finding her this time?

Eris, who brings her to his court as a refugee, and she has to navigate around the complicated family dynamic and the twisted court where no one can be trusted. But much like Feyre's canon story, what seemed like a terrifying and evil court turns out to be way more than it meets the eye. The Vanserra are not what people think, none of them. And slowly, Nesta finds her place within them

First of all, I love this. I believe she would heal better away from the IC and outside of the NC (though the Valks helped a lot). I do think Nes having a hand in taking down Beron and rebuilding Autumn with someone who gets her—Eris—would be very cool and fitting.

Second of all, I think I partially read a fic that went something like this. I didn’t get to the part where Nes got together with anyone but Nes and Tam’s bond was really sweet. I think the endgame for the fic was Az—which I love bc Nesriel is on par with Neris for me.

It’s called “A House of Flame and Flower” by Mellowenglishgal on AO3!

Third of all, I was not expecting this but I love that you wanted to share your Nesta-related thoughts and headcannons with me!

If anyone wants to send their Nesta/Valk/or Autumn Court theories and headcannons with me, please feel free to send it in asks! I’d love to read them!

(I’m actually working through 3 theories rn and hope to post those with evidence in the next month or so)

[iwonderwh0]

I love Daniel for how in a way he shows what each of the protagonists could have become if things were a little different for them.

What if Markus found out Carl's tales of how he sees him as a family member are nothing but empty words with unexpected discovery of a receipt for a newer version of Markus to replace him? He replaced his human son with Markus before, why wouldn't he do that again to him? In retrospective it'd all seem so obvious, making Markus feel so stupid for ever thinking he's somehow immune to it. Would he feel like taking revenge for such a heartless hypocrisy? Maybe not, but it's not completely off the table.

What if Kara ran away with (human)Alice just to realise that Alice never actually wanted to escape and despite everything loves Todd much more than she'd ever be able to love Kara? Or if Alice had mother she could run away to, leaving Kara alone to her android faith after reaching her destination. What if upon being confronted with all that Kara realised that she isn't even in the same category as Alice's parents are. That she never was, and it's her fault she made herself believe otherwise.

Connor is literally Daniel tho, and he does in fact realise that he was just a toy in hands of those he loved and whom he trusted. But unlike Daniel, Connor had a plan B. He had those he could run away TO, he personally saw that there is another side to this story, he just has to choose it. Daniel didn't know about Jericho. He didn't know about RA9 either, so he didn't even know there are more androids like him. He had nowhere to go, nothing to hope for. So he did the only thing he felt like made sense in a moment – harmed those who hurt him back. If he can't win, he'll make sure the other side looses too.

[lisa-grdjc]

how should i even start…

im sorry in advance if some things don’t make sense, im still feeling like a mess that ep really did a number on me;-;

i think what really got me was that so far we have never seen someone as kind as takaaki getting that upset before, to the point where he became physically violent.

and that goes for hiro as well.

two young men who let their emotions get the best of them after months of running away from their problems and calling each other out on it, when they weren’t in the right headspace and both battling with their own inner struggles. hypocrisy, to put it bluntly…

we have takaaki, who i assume has been dealing with guilt of some sort (making assumptions for now since we don’t have the full story yet, it seems), guilt over running away from his family after his kid brother’s death, over not going to visit his grave for reasons we’ve yet to know, and so on… what i can confidently say is that, it’s complicated.

meanwhile, hiro is scared. he’s scared of dying, so much that he’d rather look away and pretend everything is fine (which is understandable…).

he keeps putting off his hospital appointment, because if he goes, and the doctor tells him the same thing he did six months ago and this time takaaki is with him to hear it, there’s no running away from that anymore—funny thing is, it didn’t matter that much to him back then, but that was before knowing how fun fishing is and how warm and fuzzy dinners at the back of Everymart and a friend’s kindness feel. that might be what he is afraid of losing, along with his life.

and maybe, just maybe… thinking that takaaki might care and worry about him only out of guilt for the little brother he couldn’t save hurts way more than hiro can admit but i wouldn’t be too sure. takaaki’s always been super kind from the start, before finding out about hiro’s disease. (btw i still can’t think of a reasonable explanation for why he offered to take care of his debt and live at his home without asking for much in return, so that hiro, who he barely knew at the time, could get a fresh start…)

whoops im kinda straying from what i initially wanted to talk about and went off on a tangent but im not even really sorry these two lads and their relationship mean so much to me—

anyways. back to their fight… hopefully i still have a few somewhat coherent thoughts left in me but that would be overestimating my cognitive abilities…

cuz now all i can think about is how darn attractive takaaki looked during the whole scene—

and how when i said i wanted to see him pin hiro against the wall this isn’t exactly the context i had in mind…:(

genuinely wondering how come fictional men get ten times hotter the more miserable they feel… that’s crazy…

okay enough.

i want them to talk it out in the next ep. have a real, calm heart to heart. and a fucking hug

boy i need them to hug like their lives depend on it im so serious.

also huge props to hiro’s voice actor because holy shit these cries were gut wrenching i felt them in my soul—

[mixterglacia]

WARNING: VIVZIEPOP CRITICAL, STOLITZ CRITICAL CONTENT.

I get fairly mean in this one, you've been warned.

I am so sorry, Viv. You can't convince me to see Stolitz as anything beyond a toxic, doomed to fail, train wreck.

I'm SO down for a good toxic ship.

In fact, I found their pilot dynamic far more interesting than the current writing seems to be depicting.

I refuse to feel bad for a man that caught feelings for a childhood """friend""" so hard he ruined his own life. Blitz owes NOTHING to Stolas. He agreed to fuck him so he could run a business that is barely discussed, even though it was the original point of the show.

Does it suck that Stolas had to deal with an arranged marriage that he never wanted with a mean wife? Yeah.

You know what else sucks?

THAT STELLA HAD TO MARRY A MAN SHE NEVER WANTED, AND HAD TO GIVE BIRTH TO HIS CHILD. ALL WHILE HAVING A FUCKING CREEP OF A BROTHER. ALL WHILE BEING TREATED AS A MONSTER BY THE FANDOM THAT CAN'T UNDERSTAND HYPOCRISY IF IT BIT THEM IN THE FACE.

Like yes, she's a cantankerous bitch. But you can't seriously pretend like she isn't also suffering in this relationship. The only difference is she turns her pain into external anger, where as Stolas has been turned into uwu soft bird who can do no wrong.

Even though he destroyed his family in an extremely public way. Octavia is going to have to live with the impact of her father's decisions for the rest of her life. You can't seriously expect me to feel bad for a man that is the agent of his own destruction.

You also can't tell me that Blitz just needs to get over himself just so he can be with a man who's father BOUGHT HIM FOR HIS SON AS A PRESENT.

To reiterate. If this was meant to be read as a terrible toxic arrangement that just keeps happening? I'm down for that. But this is not, and will never be cute or healthy.

Blitz doesn't owe Stolas anything. He keeps up his end of the bargain. It's purely sexual, and just because Stolas can't accept that doesn't make it Blitz's problem.

Stolas needs to learn how to accept rejection and move the fuck on. He knew he would catch feelings and considering he basically has Blitz on a leash, that doesn't make this any less gross.

The fact that he knows Blitz will leave if he's given the power to go to earth on his own proves it.

Blitz has frankly done very little IF ANYTHING to warrant being subjected to this level of obsession on Stolas' part. He's just trying to make a living.

Frankly, if you wanted us to actually think Blitz was interested, you've totally missed the boat with that one. This should have been worked on ages ago and it makes it feel exceptionally rushed and out of character on Blitz's part.

At this point I'm starting to think Fizz and Ozzie are a fluke of good writing in a sea of godsawful shit. Charlie and Vaggie felt like a literal afterthought in their own show. Husk and Angel are so rushed it felt like watching a relationship at double speed. Are we even supposed to think Pen and Cherry are actually a thing? Because if I was Cherry I would have punched Pen for that shit.

Christ. I don't drink but Viv makes me feel like starting.

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.

[olreid]

what rules about claudia being a child vampire is like. the whole 'family' dynamic is based on denying claudia because she's 'the baby' except that the being a vampire of it all completely voids all the usual excuses that are trotted out to justify the typical (mis)treatment of children by their families... for example, children are expected to physically restrain themselves, ostensibly so they don't get hurt. yet the fragility associated with youth doesn't apply to claudia, and both louis and lestat tell her not to run in the house anyway; the rule is revealed as being grounded not in child safety but in the comfort and preferences of adults.

everything that might be said about claudia's physical weakness or vulnerability is annulled by her vampirism; everything that might be said about her being lesser because she is a fledgling is pretty much equally true of louis, who for the decade of experience he has on her seems to have very little vampire knowledge to show for it. and she owes louis and lestat no kin-based loyalty or deference because for all they say they are her parents, they did not birth or raise her and she did not ask to be turned! she is a "child" but without any of the associated conditions which usually conspire to fix children in their traditional roles; and once the excuse provided by those traits is gone, all that remains is the desire for control and the willingness to enforce that control with violence.

all the perfect hypocrisy of parenthood is on display; lestat admonishing claudia for unsubtle killings when he famously loves to do like. murder-based performance art, both louis and lestat refusing claudia a mate of her own despite neither of them being able to come up with a good reason for denying her other than 'because i said so.' and for all that claudia's behavior is framed by both louis and lestat as her 'acting out' for one reason or another, they never manage to come up with even one convincing explanation as to why she should not be allowed to do exactly as she pleases. who are they, after all, to tell her what to do?

[cottoncandy-cult]

New World, New Life

Smoker x Wife! Reader

Smoker sat in silence as he watched his wife sleep, the swaying of the boat had her sleeping rather deeply on this night. But right now, sleep eluded the silver fox, he had woken up a half hour before this moment and after laying there he determined he would do some of the paperwork he had put off til tomorrow. Unfortunately, he couldn't focus, he didn't know what it was that stood in his way of sleeping but it was starting to bug him.

With a sigh he turned back to his desk, fixing himself two cigars as he tried once more to read the monochrome pages. That didn't last long though, two thin arms curling around his neck as he felt someone rest their head on his. He didn't need to see the stray strands of (H/c) to tell him it was his wife; she was the only one bold enough to touch him without permission. She was the only one with that right. She didn't see a high ranking a marine, she just saw a man who needed someone to keep him grounded. "Did the light from the candles wake you?" His voice was gruff, having sat in silence since waking his voice was slightly deeper than usual.

"No, I couldn't get comfortable without you." He turned to face her, she released him and backed up only to be tugged into his lap. She didn't spare a second before she snuggled up to him, he may not have seemed like an affectionate man but if his angel wanted love, he'd never deny her. He was a proud man; he took pride in his love for this woman and was secure enough that he had no problem telling people where to go. Though they were both mature enough to refrain from hard core PDA, she was a military wife and understood his duties.

He muttered a low apology, using his free hand to move her hair from her face and stroke her cheek. "I woke and couldn't sleep, I thought I'd get some work done..." She giggled as he glanced back at the shuffled papers, pressing a soft kiss to his exposed chest. He was sleeping in a pair of loose black pants; she was in one of his shirts and her underwear. The weather of the area they were in was rather nice even at night, so they were able to sleep pretty comfortably. "You know our anniversary is coming up... We'll have been married 5 years in a week." She spoke softly, giving him a sweet smile.

He chuckled a bit as he looked down to his wife, he had been thinking a lot and found that the life of a marine has left him wanting. He has seen the hypocrisy of those around him, he could see the corruption and false justice that had begun growing and the toxicity that been there from the start. He begun to question what he was doing at this point, if he was really one of the good guys at this point. Especially since it's becoming more common that he comes across Marines abusing their power, he had yet to tell her. But he was considering resigning, the thought of taking her away to beautiful little island had begun growing more and more appealing. They could start a family; he'd make sure their home was safe. Even if it meant running off anyone who tried to cause trouble on the island.

"Yeah, I know, I think you'll like the gift I have..." The longer he gazed into her eyes the more solid his idea became; he'd make sure they had a true home by the time of their anniversary. He also planned to make sure he gave her the family she wanted; he'd give her everything she had been denied because of his wasted dedication to a failing system. (Can you feel my disdain for the world government yet?)

[manamania]

Untouched: Part Six, Epilogue

Pastor Lemuel Childs x OC

Synopsis: Pastor Childs has been lost this past year after what his family and the parish went through. But when a young woman comes into town, aimless and without guidance, the Pastor takes it upon himself to be her shepherd, and lead her out of the darkness... And into his arms.

Warnings: older man x young woman, religious exploitation (kinda), religious trauma, smut, rough sex, spanking, fluff, religious hypocrisy, angst, redemption arc, OC is a virgin (but not for long), Pastor Childs is not a great person but he sure is hot as hell, I apologize for any spelling errors

@justme12200 @its-in-the-woods @hiddlebatchedloki @michele131 @skrzydlak

Word count: 8.8k

(Apologies for any spelling errors or story flubs, I've been hella busy this holiday season and didn't have much time to sit with this final chapter)

Lemuel had let himself out of the house later that evening. It took him a while, as he was still in shock after what had happened within the last thirty minutes. He had taken Virginia’s… well, virginity. Her own pastor soiled her maidenhood and corrupted her.

No. No it was SHE who corrupted him! She came to this town and seduced him like the snake in the garden. She was the one who soiled him. It was all Virginia’s doing! It had to have been!

But no matter how much Lemuel tried to tell himself that he didn’t stray, the aching of his heart scolded him still. He was the one who had invited Virginia into his church, to join the parish and become a Holy Ghost woman. He’s the one who asked after her, followed her into town in order to “happen” to run into her. Lemuel had planned this all from the start.

He was the snake. She merely just wanted to belong. And with his guiding hands, he yanked her away from the loneliness she knew and wrapped her up in his arms to keep her for himself. Without a wife and without a daughter, Lemuel craved the feeling of being wanted. To be someone’s someone. 

After that night, Virginia stopped showing up to church. She gave no excuses to her fellow parishioners when asked. She simply answered with a stern, “I’m not welcomed anymore.” 

Lemuel never told the congregation that she was excommunicated. In fact, he hadn’t planned on such a thing. The last thing he wanted was for Virginia to leave! She had taken that decision away from him and shut herself in her home, doing God knows what.

He missed her dearly. He missed the way she smelt of clover. He missed how she braided her hair and fiddled with her silver crucifix. He longed for the touch of her soft hands and the sound of her deep voice, contrasting with the innocence of her round, freckled face. At night, Lemuel crumpled up the duvet into an elongated shape to cuddle, to supplant Virginia’s body as he dreamed about her. 

He didn’t know how long this ache would last, but he knew there was another issue he had to eventually come to terms with…

Hope and Zeke Slaughter had fooled him and the whole church. They had to answer for their sins. But before Lemuel could even confront them, he needed to see the snakes himself.

Alone, he went to the church, not bothering to even protect his hands with gloves. He practically raced to the cages that held the animals and plucked one of them out, disturbing it from its rest.

Dry as a cotton ball, she said? He thought to himself as he looked into the eyes of the beast.

The snake hissed and rattled at him, an aggressiveness that Lemuel was used to. The creature snapped at his arm, two puncture wounds bleeding on the side of his arm, causing him to yelp. He placed the snake back in its cage bent over onto the ground next to it, gritting his teeth. He started to mumble a prayer, believing that this was the moment that the Holy Ghost would take him and send him to hell for what he had done to Virginia.

Please forgive her. It is my fault she was led astray.

The bite hurt a lot, which was expected. But as the minutes dragged on, nothing about his health seemed to change, only that his arm felt sorer. There was no tunnel vision, no light-headedness, no weakness of the muscle. Despite the bite, Lemuel seemed to be fine. He clutched at the wound, still waiting for something to happen. But nothing did. He just sat there on the cold floor, not knowing whether to feel disappointed or relieved.

So Virginia was right, these snakes were dry. At least the one he picked was, but he wasn’t about to go and test the theory with all the other snakes. This was proof enough that Zeke and Hope were liars and hypocrites.

Then again, so was he. And so was Virginia. 

Confronting the old couple wouldn’t be easy, but Lemuel knew he had to. He mused over the idea of having them excommunicated, but Hope was considered an elder for the women of the church. She was almost as influential as the Pastor. If she and her husband were forced out, there would be only more chaos, and the parishioners had already had their share of strife. 

What could he do?

In a time like this, Lemuel would consult the Bible. He’d pray to the Lord and ask for strength or a sign. He needed one now more than ever. His faith was on the thinnest of ice, barely a hair away from breaking. 

“Help me.” Lemuel muttered.

He had wandered into the dark woods, stumbling through the crunchy leaves and bumping into unseen branches. He was scraped and unseemly, almost like a wild mountain man from the hours he spent aimlessly walking in the near-pitch black. 

“HELP ME!” He then screamed at the sky, begging for a sign from God.

There came no answer. No gust of wind, no snakes, no stars, no nothing. There were just leaves, bare branches, and cold, crispy air. He wasn’t even dressed properly for this kind of cold, his skin turning red and dry. His nose, hands, and feet were all numb from the chill, but he didn’t care. Lemuel needed to find… something.

“Why, Lord? Why?”

In his haze, Lemuel had failed to acknowledge that his body was growing tired and weak. After a while he stumbled and fell onto his knees, before collapsing onto the forest floor. The leaves were nice… Almost like a blanket. 

Blanket… He remembered wrapping Virginia up in an afgan from her bed.

“You’re cold, Virginia.” He said.

“I’m always cold, I have the body heat of an old, old man.”

“Don’t speak to me about being an old man, young lady.”

“Don’t be so sensitive, old man.” She teased.

Lemuel was too weak to laugh at the memory, but his lips did weakly curl into a half-smile. 

“Daddy… I miss mama.” Mara had said as she snuggled into him.

“I miss her every day. But she’s always with us, darlin’. And she sees how pretty you’ve become.” He brushed her hair away from her face and kissed her head.

“She made this for you?” Mara looked down at the quilt he had wrapped her in.

“She and the other women of our church. You’ll make one for your future husband one day too.”

If he pretended hard enough, Lemuel could mistake the harsh crunch of the leaves for the soft plush feel of a squishy quilt. 

Yeah, he thought. This would keep him warm.

...

“He hasn’t been seen for the past two days.” 

Dilly set the two hot cups of tea on the kitchen table. Virginia held her cup, feeling the warmth against her palms. It had been two weeks since she had visited Lemuel’s house. Dilly was aware they weren’t speaking anymore, but she preferred to call Virginia over anyone else when Lemuel hadn’t turned up. 

Despite their last conversation, Virginia missed him. She knew she would, even if she was the one to end their… whatever it was. She still cared about him. So when Dilly told her that she couldn’t find him at the church, at the house, or anywhere else he might be, Virginia became very worried.

“He usually doesn’t leave without sayin’ anything. But there was no note, no call or text. Nothing.” The younger woman said. 

“I can’t think of a place he’d go to. At least, anywhere other than the usual spots.”

“Why would he just up and leave like that?” Dilly frowned, staring down into her tea.

Virginia’s stomach pained with guilt. It was obvious to the whole church that she and their pastor had a falling out. She knew that if Lemuel didn’t eventually show up, she’d be the first suspect. She was the newest member, the one who got the closest to him after his daughter left. Not even Dilly, his ward, had become that special in his life. 

“Maybe something important keepin’ him occupied.” 

“But he’d tell me he’d be going.” Dilly said. “He don’t like to worry me, especially since my-” She hung her head. 

Virginia then cursed Lemuel under her breath. He knew that Dilly was still hurting from her mother’s abandonment. To just leave the young girl like that after taking her in was cruel. Virginia didn’t care if he was punishing her, but Dilly didn’t deserve this.

“I’m sorry.” Virginia squeezed Dilly’s shoulder affectionately. 

She just stared down at her tea, no longer in the mood for conversation. 

“I think… Lemuel’s lookin’ for Mara and Augie, Dilly.”

“How do you know?”

“I don’t know. I just… I feel it in my gut. Why else would he leave the mountain? There’s nothing outside the community that would pull him away. At least, not that I know of.”

“But no one knows where they went. He’s gon get himself lost.” Dilly said. “What, are you gonna get him?”

“Someone’s gotta make sure he’s okay.” Virginia stood from the table. 

“Should… Should I come with you?”

She didn’t intend on bringing Dilly with her, but Virginia figured her softer presence would ease the inevitable reunion. 

“Yeah, Dilly. I need someone with me.” She said,

“But where do we start? They didn’t say where they was goin’.”

“Hence why we have the internet. Though I see this community doesn’t really bother to use it much.” Virginia muttered before pulling her smart phone out of her back pocket. She looked up the names August Slaughter and Mara Childs, and to her surprise, two sources appeared. It was that easy after all.

Young Couple Inspires Disabled Community in St. Mary’s County, Maryland

Mara Slaughter: The Mission Against Unethical Preaching

“What does it say?” Dilly asked as Virginia scrolled through each article.

“‘Mara Slaughter, a young mother and activist, has been raising awareness in her community and local churches about her and her husband’s experience with unethical animal handling and child endangerment in their previous church. She champions the protection of believers and has made it her life’s mission to ensure that every God-fearing parishioner isn’t exploited or harmed under the guise of worship. While many critics have accused her of blasphemy for going against the teachings of the Pentecostal sect of Christianity, she maintains she’s a hardcore Holy Ghost woman and will forever walk with Christ beside her.’” 

Virginia was amazed by the article, particularly Mara’s bravery. She assumed the pastor’s daughter would’ve wanted to remain under the radar, to prevent herself from being found by her old community members. But the people on the mountain didn’t bother themselves with the outside world, choosing to remain closed and content with each other. 

“What does it say ‘bout Augie?”

“‘August Slaughter lost his left arm to a venomous snake bite as a result of a Pentecostal ritual. It is common practice for a Pentecostal parish to test their devotion to the Holy Ghost by handling the animals during service-’”

“We know that, but what happened afterward?” Dilly interrupted.

Virginia skimmed down the article. 

“‘He now volunteers in local hospitals, assisting young amputees in their physical therapy and inspiring kids with disabilities.’”

Seemed that both Augie and Mara were doing well for themselves. Though both articles failed to mention where they lived, probably on purpose, Virginia and Dilly now had a solid lead. 

They had to travel to Maryland. So by the next morning, they packed light, hopped into Virginia’s old truck, and drove down the mountain and headed east. 

The drive was long, exhausting, and cold. The young women had packed lightly before leaving West Virginia, and thankfully Maryland wasn’t more than six hours away. They stopped in D.C. to stretch their legs and eat, and Virginia realized how much she missed the sounds of civilization. The mountain was so quiet and the people even more so. 

“We should be in St. Mary’s in about two hours, give ‘er take.” Virginia said before biting into her cheeseburger. “I can check the article to see which hospitals Augie volunteers at. But I doubt they’ll tell us where he lives.”

“It’s nice that he’s helping kids ‘n all.” Dilly said. “But Mara… If her daddy knew what she was doin’, he’d be real mad.”

“He’s had a lot of disappointments in the past year, we can just add his daughter’s new profession to the list.” Virginia said humorously. She then started to chuckle, which confused Dilly. “I’m sorry, it’s just… Man, what a mess this has all turned out to be, huh? I mean, we’ve driven for hours chasin’ after a lead, all in the hopes of finding a man who’s gotten people hurt! Shit, maybe he doesn’t deserve to be found.”

“What?” Dilly scowled, offended that her friend would say such things about her pastor. 

Virginia’s laughing subsided and she rested her chin on her hand. 

Well shit… I’m still in love with that asshole.

South of Waldorf and an addition hour on the long, winding roads lead the women to the rural spread of St. Mary’s county. The terrain and of fields and farms was familiar to them, it made sense that Mara and Augie would choose to settle here. It was the late afternoon and the sun was already setting fast, the short days of winter eager to usher in total blackness among the trees and cornfields. 

“One of the hospitals is about ‘nother ten minutes. We can try there.” Virginia spoke up, breaking the long silence.

Dilly nodded in acknowledgement but was visibly troubled, her hands fiddling with each other. She had second thoughts, that was obvious, but her need to see Mara overpowered her fear.

When they pulled into the hospital’s parking lot, Dilly then perked up, almost jumping out of the car before Virginia parked it.

“That’s his truck!” 

Virginia followed her around the curb to find the old vehicle. It was indeed Lemuel’s, but what was it doing here? Had they followed him so closely? But he had been gone for days before they started their trip. How was it he only arrived so recently?

Virginia hated hospitals. The sterile smell and the sounds of phones and beepers. There was always someone wailing or bleeding, and the lights irritated her eyes. 

“You okay?” Dilly asked, taking notice of her friend’s discomfort when they entered the lobby.

“Just… Let’s find him, okay?”

“Okay.”

They approached the front desk, where a receptionist sat, talking on the phone. She looked up and raised a single finger to the women, needing another minute before she could speak to them.

“You think maybe he’s…” Dilly whispered to Virginia.

“I don’t know.” She said, looking over her shoulder at the others in the lobby. Lemuel wasn’t to be found, but he was definitely there. 

“Sorry about that.” The receptionist said before hanging up the phone. “How can I help you?”

“Uh, we’re looking for a man named Lemuel Childs?” Virginia said. “Late forties, drive’s a truck, dark hair?”

“Are you family?” 

“I’m his ward, Dilly. And Virginia’s… From his church. We drove from West Virginia.”

“Lemme see. Childs.” The woman typed loudly at the keyboard, her eyes squinting at the computer screen. “Childs… Oh, I see. He was admitted two days ago.”

Virginia’s heart dropped into her stomach. “What?”

“Can we see him?” Dilly leaned over the desk to look at the computer, as if it would tell her anything she could understand.

“We’ll have to get permission from the patient in order to allow visitation. He didn’t tell us to expect anyone.” The receptionist said before picking up the phone again and dialing a number. “Just go on and sit down, I’ll let yah know if you can see him. Okay?”

Virginia clenched her fists and conceded. She and Dilly sat in the waiting area, their legs bouncing and their hearts racing. Why was Lemuel in the hospital? What did he do to himself to get hospitalized?

“Ladies?” The receptionist called them. They both perked up. “You may go in. He’s on the third floor, room C17.”

The two minutes it took to get to the room weighed heavily inside Virginia. She was relieved to have found him and so soon after getting their lead, but she wondered how Lemuel would feel seeing her. He clearly wanted to, given he gave her permission to visit, but what if he begged her to take him back? She didn’t know how she’d react. 

She didn’t know if she had the strength to reject him again.

Alcohol and latex. That was the smell of his room. The blankets were warm enough, the view out the window was nice, and the nurses were kind, but Lemuel would rather be out in the cold than inside a damn hospital.

If his congregation knew he had received treatment from doctors in a state hospital, they’d call him a hypocrite. Many followers had suffered pneumonia and lived out the rest of their lives without the help of a doctor. Belief was enough to carry a soul through the worst that sickness could do to a person. He had seen it done many times as a pastor. 

And yet, when he was brought in, he just… Let them do whatever they wanted to him. He didn’t refuse the IV, he didn’t swat away the nurses, he didn’t voice his own aversion to needles. Lemuel was too defeated to fight. He just wanted to close his eyes and slip away.

And then Dilly came in, throwing her arms around him and crying over his chest. He thought it was a dream at first, until a nurse stepped in and urged the girl to be careful with him. 

“I’m alright.” He insisted to the nurse, opening his arms up and welcoming Dilly in with a hug. “I’m alright.”

“Why’d you do it? Why’d you leave without word?” She sniffled into his shoulder.

Pulling back, Lemuel got a better look at the girl. She was rosy from the cold, her lips were swollen from quivering and her eyes wet with tears. He didn’t even think about how his sudden departure would’ve scared her. He should’ve known better than to have left a girl who’s own mother abandoned.

“I’m sorry, Dilly. I’m an idiot. I’m so, so sorry.” He brushed her hair away from her face and sat her down on the edge of his hospital bed. “How’d yah find me?”

“Virginia figured you’s lookin’ for Mara. We tracked her down, found your truck here. Sir… How did you end up in here?” 

“Pneumonia, Dilly. Nurse said I was drivin’ like a maniac in a fugue state or somethin’ like that.” Dilly then spotted the bandage wrapped around his arm, which Lemuel caught onto. “Dry bite… Got lucky, I guess.”

“They given’ you medicine? Did you tell ‘em not to?”

“I was too tired to say anythin’. Kinda hard to push away when you can barely lift your arm. Where is she? Virginia?” Lemuel looked to the door. It wasn’t closed before. “She outside?”

“Uh…” Dilly looked over her shoulder. “She’s probably askin’ ‘bout Augie. He volunteers here.”

She was probably still mad with him, but then why did she try to look for him? Why did she want to find Mara? Maybe she wanted to stop him from finding her. Maybe she believed Lemuel didn’t deserve to reunite with his own daughter, after all that he put her and Augie through.

“We was worried, Pastor.” Dilly said. “Thought you went crazy or sum.”

“Hey, I’m alright. Doctor said I’d be fine in a few days.” 

“A few days? You can’t leave any sooner?”

Lemuel didn’t know if he wanted to go back home. Not after embarrassing himself like this. Those back at the church wouldn’t be able to respect him, knowing he spent a week in the hospital. Even worse, what if they all found out he had been handling dry snakes? No matter what he did, it was all over. His daughter was gone, Virginia hated him, Dilly was betrayed by him, his congregation had been fooled…

It was all so brutally hilarious.

“Dilly…” Lemuel took her hand. “I’m leavin’ my treatment up to the doctors.”

“What?” She frowned. 

He paused for a moment. Closing his eyes, Lemuel took a deep breath and squeezed her cold hand.

“I think the Lord has set me down a new path.” He spoke softly. “I’ve made a mess of things. I’m the reason Mara and Augie left, I’m the reason the Slaughter’s are broken. The death of the boy… All of it, darlin’. I can’t keep makin’ excuses. None of it was ordained by the Lord. It was me.”

Dilly’s face was blank, her eyes distant. Lemuel wished he could read what she was thinking. Her whole life, she believed his doctrine, faced the serpent like everyone else in the church. He was her pillar of strength, and now, he was saying that all of it was, what, a lie? 

“I abused the Lord’s words for my own benefit, child. And I’m sorry-”

“You’re confused, Pastor. Whatever they’re giving you, it’s making you worse. You can’t stay here.” She said, retracting her hand. 

“No, listen to me! Dilly, what I’m trying to say-”

“Is blasphemy!” She shouted in a whisper. “You can’t… You can’t just say these things, Pastor!”

“I’m tellin’ you the truth, girl. I may be a fraud, but I’m still your guardian and you will listen.” Lemuel affirmed. Dilly fell silent, but the confused scowl on her face told him she was very much in denial. “Our Lord is good and true, but me? I’m a scoundrel. A pervert. A sinner.”

“We’re all sinners, sir.” Dilly argued. 

“Yes. But I never atoned for mine. Not really. I’m not the upstanding man you and the others see. Virginia and I…”

“She seduced you?” 

“Dilly, I won’t have yah blamin’ that woman for what I’ve done.” He grit his teeth. “She’s an innocent in all of this, yah hear? She’s the reason I came lookin’ for Mara. Without her, I would never have had the courage to go lookin’ for my only child.”

Dilly recoiled at his words. His ONLY child?

“I do believe that the Lord sent Virginia to us. But her mission ain’t what I expected. Heh… The Lord works in mysterious ways.”

Dilly didn’t know what to do. She stood still with her hands at her sides, dumbfounded. She liked Virginia, saw her as an older sister even. And it was a good thing that she made Lemuel search for Mara. Yet, she felt a twinge of anger towards her and she didn’t know why.

“What should I do?” 

“I wish I knew.” Lemuel sighed. “I’m as lost as you are, girl.”

“No, I mean, right now! What should I do? Do you want me to go?”

Lemuel looked down at his lap sheepishly. “You can stay as long as you’re allowed.”

“And Virginia?” 

Lemuel hadn’t spoken to her in weeks. He had often thought about what he’d say to her. How sorry he was for everything, that he would make things right. But words were meaningless without actions. And he didn’t deem himself worthy of her forgiveness yet.

“Up to her.” He answered plainly. 

“Alright. Well, I’m just gonna… Check up on ‘er.”

“Go on.” 

Lemuel could hear her voice when Dilly opened the door. But then she closed it behind her, leaving him alone again. He prayed that she would come in and see him. But after a short minute, the door opened and this time, it wasn’t Dilly.

God answered his prayer.

“Hey Pastor Childs.” Virginia smiled before closing the door behind her.

“C’mon, Virginia.” He frowned, not appreciating the formality. She crossed her arms, then approached him, stopping short of a few feet from his bedside. “Hey, it’s just me.”

“I know.” She said, “So… You were drivin’ with pneumonia? How’d you get pneumonia?”

“Guess I was bein’ reckless, wanderin’ around the woods. I was… Lookin’ for something.” Lemuel then quickly added, “My arm’s okay too. Just a snake bite.”

She squinted her eyes at him. “What happened?”

“Stopped by the church. I wanted to see if you were right.” He said. “You were.

“Then you got the bright idea to just up and leave Dilly without sayin’ nothing?” Virginia tilted her head. “That was really smart.”

“It was mean of me, I admit it.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m ashamed of the worry I caused. I’m sorry, Virginia. I’m sorry for all of it.”

Her face softened a little. She then took a seat on the chair by the window and scooted closer to him. She then pulled out her phone, opened up her contacts, and handed it to Lemuel, who took it hesitantly.

“If you’re really sorry, you’ll repent. Make yourself clean. And you can start by calling that number.” 

Turns out, Augie left his contact information with the hospital. Being a frequent visitor and volunteer, he made himself available to patients who needed some special support. Virginia managed to find it within minutes while Lemuel spoke to Dilly.

She didn’t even need to say who’s number it was. He knew what she meant.

“What if she still hates me?” He asked, staring down at the number.

“I think she’ll appreciate your attempt to talk to her.” Virginia assured him. “If my mother called me to apologize, I know I’d appreciate it.”

He still wasn’t sure. But sure or not, he knew that if he didn’t call now, he never would. Lemuel’s thumb pressed the dial and the number rang. 

Deciding this was too personal for her, Virginia stood to leave. But Lemuel reached out a hand.

“Stay? Please?” He whispered.

He looked so scared. The most scared Virginia had ever seen the pastor. She turned back and sat on the bed with him, holding his hand as they waited for an answer.

After a few more rings, the receiver picked up and a male voice spoke.

“Hello?” 

Lemuel was quiet for a few seconds, he mouth hung open. Virginia squeezed his hand a few times, urging him to talk.

“Augie?” He said quietly.

The other end then fell silent. After hearing what sounded like Augie clearing his throat, he spoke again.

“Uh, yeah, this is Augie. How can I help you?”

“This is, uh… It’s Pastor-uh-Lemuel Childs.” He stuttered. 

Silence.

“I know this must be very unexpected. I, uh… Know you’re still very angry with me.”

Silence, yet again. The lack of words from the other end made both Lemuel and Virginia uneasy.

“And I don’t blame you. You and Mara have every right to be. I… I did horrible things. I was wrong for it. I… I took your arm, and I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry for everything. And I know that ‘sorry’ means nothing now, it can’t make your arm grow back. It can’t fix what I done, but… I just wanted to tell you that I’m sorry.”

After another minute of silence, Augie finally spoke.

“We ain’t coming back, you know that, right?” 

“No, no, I ain’t askin’ for y’all to come home. I just… Can I speak to my daughter, please?”

“Lemme see if she wants to speak to yah first.”

“Right.”

Lemuel looked at Virginia with desperation. They waited for what seemed like an eternity before the sound of rustling echoed from the phone. Then, a deep, feminine voice spoke.

“Daddy?”

...

Lemuel was shaking like a leaf, gripping Virginia’s hand hard. She told him over and over again that everything was going to be okay, that his daughter loved him so much. Otherwise, she wouldn’t have agreed to visit him in the hospital. 

It was the longest hour of Lemuel’s life, waiting for Mara to arrive. He wondered if she would look different, if she would even touch him or smile at him. 

“Virginia… I don’t know if you’ll ever forgive me for what I’ve done to you.” He said. 

Virginia was sitting on his bed, legs crossed, with her coat thrown over the back of the chair by the window. She assumed they would be waiting a bit and decided to make herself comfortable. Dilly had gone down to the cafeteria to get something to eat, leaving the couple alone.

“Lemuel… What happened between us was a mistake.” 

He frowned, his brow furrowed. “All of it?”

Virginia then blushed. “No, not all of it. But we weren’t honest with each other. Or ourselves. We were lonely and needed attention and we gave that to each other.”

“Under the guise of spiritual guidance.” Lemuel then chuckled. “But the intimacy… Was that… I mean-”

“It was good, okay?” Virginia conceded, rolling her eyes. Was that detail really important right now? “I enjoyed our time together. Or did I not give that impression?”

“No, you DID.” Lemuel tucked his hair behind his ear. “Now, before this, uh, THING happens with Mara, I want you to know that I’m very grateful to you. After our last conversation, I was… Well, confused. Angry. In general, just very depressed. I hadn’t really confronted the fact I had been just as lost as you ever since Mara left.”

Virginia could see him struggle. Lemuel was fiddling with the sheets that scrunched up over his lap. He was having trouble even looking at her. 

“I thought I needed to make you a Holy Ghost woman. To make you MY woman and redeem myself through your conversion. I thought, surely, the Lord will look down on me in favor if I make up for losing my daughter.” He continued. “But, that was selfish. I don’t think I ever really got the chance to really appreciate you for who you are; a smart, hilarious, strong young woman who knows herself.”

Virginia smiled, averting her eyes as she felt her body grow warm. 

“Virginia? Look at me, please.” He said and she obeyed. “I’m sorry. If I could start all over again, I would. Now, I know I’m not deserving of it. I’ve done so much wrong in my life. I’m responsible for the death of a boy… Honestly, there’s no redemption for what I’ve done.”

“At least you’re trying.” Virginia said. “I think that counts for something, right?”

Lemuel looked up and their eyes met. She was guarded, as was he, but there was a pull between them, a tension in their chests that urged them to come closer. 

“Your daughter may forgive you yet.”

“Do you forgive me, Virginia Godwin?” He said. 

Silently, Virginia uncrossed her legs and crawled over to Lemuel. Gently, she straddled his lap and cupped his cheeks. Sighing into her touch, Lemuel closed his eyes and savored the softness of her hands. He had missed her touch so much, he was crying.

“I won’t blame you if you don’t-”

“Enough.” She wiped his tears away with the pads of her thumb. “Don’t ask for forgiveness if you don’t think yourself worthy of it yet.”

“I guess I’m not, then. Not yet.” He said, defeated, pulling her hands away from his face. “But, will you wait for me? For when I am?”

Virginia didn’t know how to answer. She believed what he said to her. She felt it in her heart that Lemuel was truly sorry. But as far as she could see, he had yet to make up for the damage done. He still needed to do right by his community, by Dilly, and by his own daughter. 

But she had hope. And that was enough to keep her waiting. 

“I’ll wait for you back in West Virginia. Come to me when you’re ready. Okay?” 

She leaned in and kissed him, slowly and softly. He returned it, his hand daring to reach up and cup her cheek. But soon she pulled away and slid off the side of the bed. Lemuel didn’t have anything else to say to her. The message was clear. 

Just when Virginia zipped up her coat and slipped on her boots, there was a knock at the door. She and Lemuel looked at each other before he told the visitor to come in. 

“Baby?” Lemuel called out weakly.

In stepped a young, skinny, pale woman with dark hair. She had small lips, sad eyes that hinted at a wisdom beyond her years. She was dressed in a long, green coat with a white scarf draped around her neck. And in her arms she held a small child, no older than a year, all bundled up and asleep.

“Mara…” He covered his mouth, tears running down his cheeks.

Virginia felt out of place in the room and decided to quietly exit. It felt wrong to be in the middle of a family reunion, being she didn’t know Mara at all. She waited outside, where Dilly stood next to a tall stranger with one arm.

“Hey!” Dilly said, waving her over. “They came!”

“Yeah.” Virginia sniffled, wiping her nose with the back of her sleeve. “Mara went in. Sorry, hi, I’m Virginia.” She offered her hand to Augie who shook it.

“August, but you can call me Augie.” He said sternly. “Guessing you’re with Pastor Childs?”

“I’m a friend.” Virginia said. “Dilly’s told me about you and Mara. Congratulations on the baby.”

“Oh, thank you.” He bowed his head bashfully. “Did Dilly also tell you we had our daughter outta wedlock too?”

Dilly’s face fell and she turned away. 

Virginia frowned. “Uh, no. But you and Mara have been missed very much.”

“So is my mama here too?” Augie pressed.

She wasn’t in the mood for any more fighting. This wasn’t even her battle, she didn’t know Augie or Mara.

“I should leave. None of this is my business.”

“But, Virginia-” Dilly took her friend’s arm. 

“I’m going home. You coming with?” 

Augie watched as Dilly looked between him and Virginia, unsure of herself. 

“If you wanna stay here until Lemuel can drive you back, feel free. But I’m going now.”

Dilly stayed by Augie, watching her friend disappear down the hall and into an elevator. Virginia stopped by a vending machine in the lobby, waiting on a bag of chips when someone in her peripheral approached her. Turning to her left, she saw it was none other than Mara Childs.

“Hey, uh, Virginia, right?” She asked meekly, stuffing her hands in her pockets.

“Yes.” She said, bending down to grab her potato chips. 

“Are you leaving?”

“Back to West Virginia.”

“Are you… Gonna tell the Slaughters ‘bout us?” Mara said.

Virginia shook her head. “I just came here to make sure your father was okay. Nothing more.”

“Okay.” Mara smiled. “We’re just not ready for that yet. It’s been a rough year for my husband and… This is all already a lot.”

“I understand. Don’t worry, I’m not gonna send Hope and Zeke down here.” Virginia assured her. 

“Thank you. Um, can I ask yah somethin’?” Mara tilted her head down, shy and nervous. “About my daddy?”

“Sure.” Virginia nodded, though she didn’t know what she knew about Lemuel that Mara didn’t.

“He didn’t say nothin’ but I get this feeling’... Are you two together?” 

Virginia was reminded how close in age she was to Mara. They probably would have attended high school together. It was awkward, meeting Lemuel’s only child like this, after everything that happened. She’d rather it was over dinner in decent humor. 

“I don’t know.” She answered. A disappointing response, but it was true. “It’s complicated.”

Mara nodded. Of course it was complicated, it was her father. He was never a simple man, despite his public perception.

“Look, if it makes you uncomfortable-”

“It’s not my business.” Mara said. “It’s just that… He’s changed. I mean, he’s in a damn hospital.”

Virginia couldn’t help but chuckle, which in turn made Mara chuckle too.

“Yeah, well, I guess I had somewhat of an effect on him. It wasn’t purposeful. I just came to town and then… He rescued me from the side of the road.”

“If I’m honest, I wish it were me who made him change his mind.” Mara confessed.

“It WAS you, Mara. He changed the minute you left that mountain.” Virginia boldly reached out and touched her arm. “He never stopped thinking about what happened. I only pushed him far enough to do something about it.”

Mara half-smiled up at Virginia, appreciating her words, even if she didn’t know if she believed them. Sobering up a little, Virginia retracted her arm, feeling like she overstepped.

“Why don’t you stay?” Mara asked.

Virginia stepped away. “He needs you more than me right now.”

I’ve done my part.

She said goodbye to Mara and left for her truck. It was not exactly how she wanted to meet his daughter, but it went a lot better than expected, especially given the circumstances. During the long drive back, which took all night, Virginia wondered if there was a world where both she and Mara could be in Lemuel’s life.

Sure, their relationship wasn’t his daughter’s business, but she was close in age to Virginia. And now that the possibility of Mara and Augie being back in Lemuel’s life was more real, Virginia realized she had only ever pictured herself in Lemuel’s life when he only had Dilly. She never accounted for the fact that he would actually reconnect with Mara.

Maybe she didn’t fit in after all. Maybe it was meant to be that they remain apart. Lemuel already had his chance at marriage and children. Virginia was still young and had more time than him to make a life for herself. And while she still loved him very much and had told herself that their age difference didn’t matter, with Mara in the picture, it made things all the more complicated.

Virginia was weary and tired when she walked through her front door. She lazily shook off her boots and peeled off her layers down to her underwear. In her bedroom, she passed out once her head hit the pillow. Her sleep was merciful and dreamless.

...

Spring

“That’s fifty! Thank you, sir.” Virginia smiled after counting the cash.

The old man shook hands with her. He and his two younger helpers, both buff men, helped carry the couch to the back of his truck. They secured it in place and drove off, passing by another familiar truck that came up the long and winding road.

Virginia recognized the vehicle and more importantly the man at the wheel. She watched him park and hop out, his sleeves rolled up to the elbows and hair tousled. He seemed more youthful than the last time she saw him, like he aged back ten years.

“Lemuel.” She called to him.

He smiled as he approached her but kept himself at a healthy distance.

“Virginia. You look great.”

“Thanks. You do too!” She hunched her shoulders. “Been a while.”

“Yeah. Four months, right?”

“Yup. To the day, actually.” She added. “So, you wanna come inside and tell me what you’ve been up to?”

Lemuel followed her inside. Most of the house was cleared out, save for the essentials. There were two chairs left in the dining room, but no table.

“Have a seat. Tea?” She asked.

“No thank you.” He said. “So, uh, Mara told me to say ‘hey’ to you.”

“She did?” Virginia perked up. “How is she?”

“She’s good. I stayed with her and Augie in Maryland for a few weeks.”

“And your granddaughter?” Virginia looked over her shoulder at Lemuel as she turned on the burner beneath the kettle. 

He sighed. “She’s magical. Looks just like Mara when she was a baby.”

Virginia was happy for him, that he was making up for lost time with his family. Though she felt as though there was more than just happy news for her. 

“And the church? I heard that it disbanded.” She asked.

Lemuel scratched the back of his head. “Yeah, that’s been… Hell, really. Everyone was askin’ questions, makin’ up stories and such. Heard that Hope and Zeke up and left too.”

“Yeah, they did. Went by their place just a few days ago. They’re gone.” Virginia said. “I bet it’s been a hard time for you.”

“Actually, no.” Lemuel said with a half-grin. “Well, not everyone’s been so open to the changes. Can’t say I blame ‘em. Their whole world’s turned upside down. But for me, it’s been rather freeing.”

“I’m glad.” Virginia leaned against the kitchen counter, her arms folded. 

Lemuel looked at her, seeing conflict in her expression. Standing up from the chair, he went to her. “Virginia?”

She bit her lip and looked down at her feet. 

“I’m so happy for you, Lemuel.” She muttered under her breath, trying to stifle her tears.

“Why are you crying?” He held her shoulders, trying to meet her eyeline. “Virginia?”

“I just…” She pushed past him and covered her face. 

“Hey, hey.” He cooed, going to her. He leaned in, his knuckle moving her chin up so she could face him. Her pale face had turned pink and puffy. “Tell me why you’re sad.”

Virginia took a deep breath then fell into him, pressing her face into the crook of his neck while his arms wrapped around her. She had missed him so much, cried over his absence every night before she fell asleep. She walked along the edge of the river and remembered the times he held her hand and brushed her hair out of her face when the wind blew. She missed the feeling of him filling her up and making her whole.

And now here he was. And she was sure he came to tell her that she didn’t fit anywhere in his new life. That she had done her part and was now free to leave. Afterall, he had Mara and his grandchild to worry about.

“You don’t need me anymore.” She sniffled, her voice faltering. 

“What?” Lemuel scoffed. 

“Isn’t that why you came? To tell me that it’s over?” 

Lemuel pulled her back and held her face in his hands. His brown eyes bore into her soul, his brow stern and serious. 

“You told me to come back to you when I was ready, and I am, Virginia.” He said. “I haven’t stopped thinking ‘bout you. All this time, I’ve been trying to make myself worthy of you and dammit, I didn’t come here to make you think I was throwin’ all away for nothing!”

“But your daughter, she-”

“Wants us to be happy.” 

Was it really true? Did Mara really approve of Virginia’s presence in her father’s life? 

“You’re right, Virginia. I don’t need you. But with all that’s Holy left within me, I want you more than anything. And if you’ll have me, I’d like us to start over again. No pretenses, no punishments, no serpents. Just… Please, give me another chance.”

Virginia was speechless. She could feel her spirit fly inside her chest, her heart bursting with joy. She threw her arms around Lemuel and kissed him hard. He pulled her close against him, kissing her back.

She opened her mouth and invited his tongue in, which he obliged eagerly. Their arms pulled at the other animalistically. Four months without seeing each other was a long, hard wait. And all Virginia wanted was a reminder of why she cried so hard over him. Just when he had gotten her sweater off, the kettle was whistling. 

“Oh shit!” She ran over to the stove and turned off the heat. 

Looking over at Lemuel, the pair burst into laughter before she took his hand and practically yanked him to her bedroom. They were still laughing when they continued to strip each other, giddy like teenagers in the heat of the moment. Just when Virginia was on her knees, about to pull down his boxers, she looked up at Lemuel.

“Do you really mean NO more punishments?” She asked playfully.

He was taken aback by her words. She wasn’t lying when she said he enjoyed their time together.

“I’d be more than happy to indulge your needs, darlin’.” He replied coolly. “But first, you have to earn it.”

“Earn it how?” She then slowly pulled down his boxers, his erection springing free, red and hard. The sight of it made her mouth water.

“By putting your mouth to use.”

Virginia, with her eyes trained on Lemuel, took his cock in her mouth and sucked. She bobbed her head up and down, watching his expression. He moaned, one hand gripping the back of her head as she continued. It was hard not to gag, given his cock was of an impressive size. 

“That’s it. Good girl.” He said as he grit his teeth. “Oh, fuck!”

She attempted to deep-throat him, which made Lemuel buck his hips. She gagged then pulled away, a string of saliva connected her lips to the tip of his cock. Not giving up, she took him in her mouth again, using her hands to pump him as she sucked. Lemuel didn’t know how long he could last. He hadn’t received such attention since before his wife died, and now Virginia was exceeding his own expectations.

“C’mere.” He pulled her back by the hair, making her release his cock with a wet ‘pop.’ He then helped her on her feet and kissed her, rewarding her for her good behavior. “You did so well. Now tell me, what do you want me to do to you?”

Virginia suddenly became a shy virgin all over again. The way he held her, the way he LOOKED at her… It was enough to reduce her to a little girl.

“I… want you to use your hand.” She muttered.

“How? Like this?” He lowered his hand until it cupped her wet pussy, his fingers rubbing against her clit. 

She moaned and wiggled against him, shaking her head. “No, sir.”

“How, then? Like this?” He slipped a finger inside her, keeping it still to feel her walls clench around it. Still she said no. “Then use your words.”

“I want you to spank me, sir.” She finally said.

“Oh, I see.” Lemuel smirked and retracted his hand. It was soaked from her arousal. Bringing it up to his lips, Lemuel sucked on his middle finger, savoring the taste of her. “But you’ve forgotten to use the magic word.”

“Please?”

“Please what, darlin’?”

“Would you PLEASE spank me, sir? Please spank me!” She begged.

“There’s a good girl.”

Lemuel sat down on the edge of the bed, his legs spread wide. He helped Virginia over his lap, his cock pressing against her stomach. 

“If you want to stop, tell me and I will. Understand me?” He said.

Virginia nodded, but that didn’t suffice. 

“I said…” He swung down and spanked her hard, making her yelp. “Do you understand?”

“Yessir, I understand.” She said,

Lemuel admired her smooth, pale bottom. He caressed her, getting her used to the size of his hand. She was starting to quiver with anticipation, so he got to work. He raised his hand and swung down again, spanking her. Virginia cried out, shuffling against his body to create friction. 

“Needy little thing, aren’t you?” He smirked before spanking her again. “I dreamt of this many times, you know? The sounds you make, your body helpless and bruised. God, you have ANY idea what you’ve done to me?”

He made sure to mark each cheek with equal force, longing to see the mark of his hand imprinted on her skin. Lemuel wanted Virginia to remember this every time she sat down and felt the ache. 

“You’re my girl, you hear? MINE!” He seethed before landing a particularly harsh blow, which made Virginia cry out.

“Gah, Lemuel!” She yelled.

He stopped for a moment, thinking that maybe he went too far. But Virginia wiggled around then steadied herself.

“Please… Keep going…” She whimpered.

Lemuel did as she asked. She took her punishment well, keeping her whimpers and cries to a minimum. But as she felt her ass start to go numb, her pussy ached more. It was starting to get more painful than pleasurable, and all she wanted was to be fucked hard.

“Sir…?” She mumbled softly. Lemuel almost didn’t hear her. 

“Yes, darlin’?”

“Please fuck me. Please… Please fuck me. I want you inside me so fucking bad!”

He spanked her hard, making her yelp.

“Language! Such behavior doesn’t warrant kindness. However, your begging is endearing. Perhaps that’s worth a reward.”

Lemuel helped Virginia to her feet then onto the bed, lying beside her instead of putting her on her back. She cuddled up to him, relaxing into his body as she calmed down from her spanking. She kissed his collarbone, then up to his neck, then tugged playfully at his earlobe, making him chuckle.

“You’re so eager.”

“It’s been too long.” Virginia’s hand was roaming down between their bodies, close enough to touch his cock. But he soon grabbed her wrist and pulled it back up. “Please?”

“If you want it that much, then claim it.” He said, before rolling onto his back. Virginia moved with him, climbing on top until she was straddling across his hips. “Ride me.”

She scooted down a little until she was aligned with his erection. Taking it and stroking it in her hand, she placed him at her entrance. Then, slowly, she sank down on him, his cock disappearing as it penetrated into her, sheathing itself completely until she was all the way down.

“Oh fuck.” She moaned, elated from the feeling of being filled. 

“You feel so good.” He groaned, his hands grabbing at her hips. “Damn, you’re so wet. Now c’mon, darlin.’ Fuck me.”

Virginia began to rise up then sink down again, her pace slowly accelerating as she became more comfortable with the sensation. Lemuel was enraptured with the sight before him, watching her perfect tits bounce and her brow scrunch up as she moaned. She looked so beautiful when on top of him.

My perfect girl. 

Faster and faster she rode him, the sounds of their bodies meeting echoing throughout the bedroom. She rocked her hips as she went, exercising her core as she felt an orgasm building inside her. 

“I’m gonna… I’m gonna come-oh fuck!” She cried. 

“That’s it, my girl, that’s it!” Lemuel grit his teeth, feeling himself getting close too. 

Virginia gave it her all, riding him until beads of sweat ran down her face, until she was sure she couldn’t feel her abdomen anymore, until her pussy clenched around him hard enough it made him come. She came too shortly after, riding the high with slower movements. Before she could catch herself, she collapsed to the left of Lemuel. There was ringing in her ears and her whole body felt the beat of her heart. Virginia never felt an intense orgasm like that before.

Out of it, she didn’t realize that Lemuel had curled her up against his chest, rocking her gently until she came back to reality. She nuzzled into his shoulder and took deep breaths, their moist bodies glistening with sweat.

Once calmed down, she finally spoke.

“I missed you so much.” 

Lemuel smiled down at her, caressing her hair. “I missed you too.”

“I thought you didn’t want me anymore.” Virginia said sullenly. “I didn’t know if you were ever coming back to me.”

“I love you, Virginia.” Lemuel said firmly, looking down at his tired girl. Moving some strands away from her face, he then cupped her cheek. “I love you. I ain’t goin’ anywhere, you hear?”

Virginia giggled, the happiest she had ever been in her life.

“Yessir. And I love you too.”

He smiled then kissed her softly. “Now, can I ask why you was sellin’ your furniture?”

“Oh, that.” Virginia sighed. “Well, I was going to wait for you. But I hadn’t received word for so long, I… I accepted a job offer in D.C.” 

Lemuel became very still and very silent. Virginia continued.

“I’m planning on putting my uncle’s house on the market. I mean, it makes sense, doesn’t it? there’s nothing for us here anymore.”

“Us?” Lemuel blinked.

“Yeah. I was hoping, now that you’re no longer the Pastor and since Mara’s in Maryland, maybe you and I could… I don’t know, go together?” 

He didn’t say anything at first. For a moment, Virginia thought for sure she angered him. Maybe he was planning on staying here on the mountain. Maybe he hated the idea of leaving the place he was born and raised in. 

“Just an idea, y’know? You don’t have to say yes. I know it’s pretty sudden and all, but-”

But then Lemuel chuckled breathlessly. “Woman, I’d follow you anywhere.” 

Fin.

A/N: Thank you all for reading this angsty, smutty fic. I'm probably going to post the whole thing on AO3 to make it more accessible to re-read. Happy Holidays and lot's of love <3

[insufferableprotagonistpoll]

Propaganda why Dean Winchester is insufferable:

Really mean to Cas (called him a child, zero respect for him, calls him family and casts him out when the angels are looking for him), and an absolute dick to Jack (threatening to kill him CONSTANTLY)

>Was a misogynist (loved to call women skanks, bitches, hoes)

>Used gay as an insult multiple time during the show's run (idc if he's gay an homophobic, that's still insulting)

>Beat up his brother for being possessed

>Beat up his brother for losing his soul (not his brother's fault)

>Used dubious consent to get his brother possessed in a different unrelated possession incident after possession was being used (badly...this is supernatural after all) as a metaphor for SA

>Threatened to murder his brother when he was hallucinating (yay we aren't ableist)

>Locked a child up in a box

>Threatened to kill the child he locked up in a box

>Made a creepy, sexual comment about a barely-legal high school girl

>Got the woman and kid he was living with memory-wiped

misogynistic scumbag. theres also a few different times that dean finds teenagers sexy with the most recent and prominent example that i can recall being the scooby doo crossover episode in season 13 where hes super into daphne who in the version they chose for the episode is 15-16 and is interacting with her as if shes a real person cause they got magicked into the episode. he treats everyone around him like shit and the only time the narrative agrees that thats a bad thing is when he has the mark of cain put on him and hes acting no differently than he does usually its just now acknowledged that hes treating others like shit. ive been rewatching the show for shits and giggles with a friend and wow he really does not treat anyone well but i wanna focus on how he treats sam for a second cause dude's hobby seems to be ignoring what his brother wants and lying to sam about doing stuff that directly concerns him the demon blood and souless things are reasonable cause those were both Bad for sam but theyre still part of a wider pattern and the most prominent example of this being when dean tricks sam into letting gadreel possess him and actually gaslights sam about it with the whole ordeal ending when its revealed gadreel lied about who he was and while possessing sam murders a friend of theirs. his voice is just also stupid as fuck im sorry this is just petty but he just sounds like hes trying so hard to be gruff n intimidating but he just sounds like a kid pretending to be batman

Dean’s list of sins is crazy long because of how long the show ran, but the key thing for me is that post-locking Sam in the bunker (season 4 I think?), I just can’t enjoy their relationship anymore. I normally love their sibling dynamic, but Dean’s ultimate worst past-the-point-of-no-return moment for me was demonizing (pun intended) his little brother for being “addicted” to demon blood, which only happened because of a series of events that were either Dean’s or someone else’s fault, not Sam’s. I also really dislike how the fandom treats Dean like this angel (pun intended) who has done no wrong and even tries to justify the MULTIPLE times he’s beaten up and otherwise abused his little brother. Canon Dean is like the polar opposite of fanon Dean: he’s homophobic and racist (jokes about a Black man being sexually assaulted in prison), misogynistic (take a shot every time he calls a woman a slur and you’ll die of alcohol poisoning), and abusive.

Propaganda why the Tenth Doctor is insufferable:

They’re so *edgy*

That one time he committed a genocide by drowning the last children of a near-extinct species (Racnoss) because their mother was evil. The closest anyone ever got to calling him out on it was when Donna noted that his take on a *different* set of weird alien babies (the Adipose) was a lot nicer than last time.

A combination of hypocrisy, sanctimony, and an equally insufferable fanbase. And the dissonance between what he actually does and how the narrative presents it.

[targayrenss]

A Dance With Dragons (III) -Daemon Targaryen

pairing: Daemon Targaryen × Velaryon Oc

Content: Incest, Age-Gap,Angst

Author's Note: I haven't updated here in a while, this is my Christmas gift as an apology.

remember that English is not my first language

•••

When they entered the throne room all eyes fell on them.

Jocelyn and Daemon stood next to Rhaenys and Baela, the latter looking at them with anger while Rhaenys was happy to see his only legitimate granddaughter.

Jocelyn looked for her brothers and smiled at them to reassure them, especially Jacaerys since it was her legitimacy that would be questioned the most.

She was close to vomiting when she saw Otto Hightower so comfortable on her grandfather's throne.

Jocelyn was getting bored of her uncle playing the victim before the queen and her hand, listening to how she spoke badly about her mother and her brothers.

—Their children are bastards! My only legitimate nephew is Princess Jocelyn—Vaemond pointed to his brothers.

—And she—now they are addressing her mother—is a whore.

Gasps were heard throughout the room.

The king was going to remove Vaemond's tongue when Jocelyn ordered her husband to murder him.

—He can keep his tongue —Jocelyn approached her brothers.

—My daughter has one more announcement

The king's words puzzled everyone.

Rhaenyra walked to the center, ignoring the corpse of Vaemond Velaryon.

—He considered that my son Jacaerys is not suitable to rule Driftmark, my son Lucerys will do it better—Rhaenyra paused, staring into the eyes of her only daughter—That is why he wished to name my son, Jacaerys Velaryon as my successor.

Jocelyn felt her blood run cold, everyone began to whisper.

Alicent Hightower saw her with pity from her place next to her children.

Jocelyn stormed out with Daemon following her, she just asked her husband to murder her uncle for her and that's how he repaid her.

When they got to their rooms he was finally able to take everything out.

—How dare you? You are his heir, the only legitimate one among those bastards.

—She always knew, that I would not inherit the throne—tears of anger fell from her eyes—she always missed me for not being Harwin Strong's daughter, she now confirmed it before everyone!

—Everyone there knows who their legitimate heir is.

"She can't take my throne away from me." Jocelyn felt a pain in her stomach.

She moaned as she grabbed her belly.

"It's better not to think about that right now, my love." Daemon caressed her belly.

Jocelyn nodded knowing that she could put her son at risk.

•••

Both Jocelyn and Daemon wanted to skip dinner, but Viserys had insisted on everyone being together.

Jocelyn was sitting next to Aemond, next to her was Daemon.

Aemond seemed quite calm in her place, perhaps he didn't have a grudge towards her like he did towards her brothers.

Daemon continued to ignore her brother's children with Alicent Hightower, her husband couldn't stand the queen, much less his father.

Jocelyn and Daemon whispered to each other while Rhaenyra had her eyes on them.

Everyone stood up as the king entered and was placed between Alicent and Rhaenyra.

—How good it is to see you all tonight, together.

His grandfather looked like a corpse, he could swear that he had gotten worse in the few hours that had passed.

She felt the eternal dinner, she began to feel overwhelmed by the hypocrisy of the queen and her mother, toasting each other as if her stupid war had not ruined the entire family.

—I wanted to toast my son Jacerys—Rhaenyra looked at her for a few seconds before focusing on Jace—you will be a good king, as the conqueror once was.

Jocelyn felt the blow on her chest, she had earned the hatred of her mother without knowing the reason.

Viserys was the only one who raised her glass, not even Harwin supported his wife.

Aemond watched as her niece caressed her swollen stomach as she silently complained.

The prince stood up with his cup in hand—A final tribute, for the health of my nephews.

Alicent stared into her eyes, trying to warn her not to do anything foolish.

—Jace, Luke, and Joffrey, all of them attractive and strong like their father

Daemon laughed, hearing his uncle's approval he couldn't stop.

—Let's empty our glasses for these three strong young men.

"I dare you to say it again."

—Why? It was just a compliment, don't you consider yourself strong?

Aemond and Jacaerys began to fight, the silver-haired prince obviously having the upper hand.

No matter how angry he was, he wasn't going to let his brother get hurt—Daemon, do something!

How a good obedient husband approached them, helping Harwin Strong separate them.

The king began to cough heavily, being taken by his guards to be examined by the maesters.

Jocelyn left after the king, she was no longer in the mood for dinner.

—Jocelyn! Wait for me! — She turned around finding Luke.

"What's wrong, Luke?"

—Are you mad at me and Jace?

Jocelyn smiled tenderly. “No, sweet brother, she would never be angry with you.”

—But if you are with mother

Jocelyn was going to answer her truthfully but she didn't want to worry her brother like that.

—No, Luke, I'm not mad at anyone, maybe Uncle Vaemond but I don't think that matters right now.

Luke smiled. “Rest sister.”

Jocelyn wished her goodnight and went straight to her room.

Later, she was reading while she waited for her husband, the children were already asleep in the nursery.

The door opened revealing her mother.

-Jocelyn

—Mother, what are you doing here?

—Tomorrow morning we will return to Dragonstone, I wanted to say goodbye

—Why? You had so many years to name Jacaerys your heir, why now?

-Jocelyn…

-Answer!

—I never named you my heir!

"It's my birthright!" Jocelyn felt her tears sting her eyes. "I'm your firstborn."

Rhaenyra cried without knowing what to answer.

—Why do you do to me what the Hightowers want to do to you? Is it because I am not Harwin Strong's daughter?

—Your words are considered betrayal, daughter.

—Your actions are too, mother

Both women saw each other with tears streaming down their cheeks, Jocelyn Velaryon and Rhaenyra Targaryen declaring war on each other.

[all-pacas]

does fellow!house know about chase going to seminary, all his religious hangups, etc.? would he be disappointed that his hero/boss actually has faith?

ohh that's a good question, because house is always so interesting about religion, always interested in chase's insane catholicism, even in the normal timeline - he'd actually oddly nice about it, never really roasting chase for his struggles with faith.

house actually tends to be fairly understanding of genuine faith. he doesn't care for religion, but when it's sincere he seems to accept it, and we see countless examples: he rolls his eyes at the nun in damned if you do, but when she explains her faith he has no retort; he finds the faith healer in house vs god hypocritical and lame, but enjoys the theological debates with him and chase, he loves the priest in unfaithful, even if he's annoyed the man chooses to interpret his diagnosis as a miracle in the end. the converted jewish woman in don't ever change is probably crazy for converting, but house also displays a real understanding for judaism and doesn't really accuse her husband of the same 'illness': genuine faith doesn't annoy him; religious hypocrisy and performance do.

i don't think houseswapped!house knows chase went to seminary, because i don't think chase would have told anyone: it was a longer time ago, and it's not a moment in chase's life he's particularly proud of; he sees it as something of a failing on his part. that chase is a lapsed catholic is probably fairly common knowledge — it would have come out in this au's version of damned if you do, let alone in, what, chase vs god (what an insane episode that would be).

the thing is, though, chase seems to consider himself to be… much less Obviously Catholic than he is, you know? he's constantly struggling with his lack of belief, his desire to believe in god: i like to pretend someone is listening, chase tells foreman in family. he can't stick around for a christmas service in damned if you do, he only barely defends boyd in house vs god ("he's just religious," chase says, exasperated), and that he then keeps turning around and wanting to believe in miracles, running to confession in s6, praying over the baby in forever — i don't think this even registers to chase as blatant catholicism, because he really tends to think of himself as someone who is not religious, who tried and failed ("it would have been easier. it never stuck."), who is now some flavor of atheist, despite it being fairly obvious to anyone on the outside that no, chase has some hangups about this. (what do you mean it's not normal atheism to still have large portions of the bible memorized and able to whip out at a moment's notice?)

which i think might be what house respects — not chase's desire to be faithful, because that's just silly, obviously, but that chase isn't a hypocrite about it. he doesn't pretend to believe more than he does, he doesn't spout religious dogma he doesn't hold himself to, he doesn't participate in pageantry. chase's not-so-secret desire to believe in god is dumb (to house), but it's sincere. it's not faked for clout or respect, it's not uninformed, and it's also not working. house tolerates cuddy, wilson, and taub's deeply reform judaism, only occasionally calling out cuddy and wilson's pageantry, but he doesn't have an issue with judaism as an identity. he doesn't have an issue with chase's catholic struggles, because it's the same sort of thing: chase isn't pretending to be something he's not, to know more or be better for his faith. house studies theology as a hobby. to study belief and question it is absolutely fine in his book.

(he is soooo jewish coded lmao)

so. houseswapped!au. i don't think house would be disappointed chase has faith, because chase doesn't think he has faith, and that's clearly wrong and all, but it's better than the opposite. and actually, chase can weaponize his religious understanding with patients in a way similar to house in the real timeline, and that's kind of cool. a slightly younger and more 'naive' house might actually be willing to make himself believe it isn't faith, that it's all a strategy, and require wilson or cuddy (and their familiarity with cultural religious belief vs actual faith) to break the news, lmao. but even if house did know and know the details, i don't think he'd really hold it against chase. chase escaped seminary, after all; he chose reality over stupid god bullshit, everyone does stupid things when they're a teenager. (i don't think house would be quite willing to accept that it was sincere, that chase still sort of wishes it had stuck, either in this timeline or the real one. why would anyone want that?)

[elisysd]

Seasons – Bebe Rexha

Masterlist - Previously - Next Chapter

I lie awake inside a dream And I run, run, run away from me

Sitting on the bed, in the little apartment she rents, she sighs. She doesn’t seem to get her lines right. She is supposed to begin the shoot of her movie tomorrow at Jardin Exotique. It’s going to be beautiful; she knows it, she went there to get a hold of the atmosphere. But no matter how heavenly the locations where the movie is being shot are, she can’t seem to forget how nightmarish the three months shooting is going to be.

She is an actress. A pretty good one. Hell, she was nominated for Best supporting actress last year. Didn’t get the award though. Damn Florence Pugh… But since her big break in the last Steven Spielberg movie, she is getting calls from a lot of people dying to work with her. Well, her agent Sophia is getting calls while she is trying to stay away from this madness as much as possible. People would say she is ungrateful. After all, she is living the dream life of so many people. But she doesn’t see it that way.

All that she has ever wanted to do is telling stories. She has always loved acting for as long as she can remember. Having the possibility to be another person, to craft the life of an imaginary character from A to Z and Z to A, that’s what she loves the most. All the characters she had the chance to embody, she knows them like the back of her hand. They are a part of her more than she is a part of them. She never wanted to be famous, she just happened to be. She always chose her projects because it resonated deeply with her, no matter if it was a short movie, an independent one or the latest fantasy of a masterminded director.

Of course she worked hard to be where she is today. She left her home country as soon as she turned 18 to go to London to pursue her passion. She has eaten more BLT sandwiches in her life than caviar and drinking champagne. Her acting debut were not easy, far from it. She fought to get where she is today. It’s just the fame aspect of her job that she is struggling with. But lately it seems to be harder than usual.

She booked a role in a romantic comedy. She has never done one of those so when she got the opportunity, she took it, thinking that it would be fun. It’s a low budget movie, it doesn’t have the ambition to be serious. She liked the script and thought that after the Steven Spielberg’s movie that got her the Oscar nomination it would be a nice change. People, and by people mostly journalists, thought that she would aim for bigger and more dramatic roles, things that could get her an Oscar for, this time, best actress. But it was never her intention. Sure, it was nice to be recognized by industries professionals, but it was never her goal. She doesn’t act to get awards. She acts because it’s where she feels like she belongs.

The movie is about an interior decorator that gets a contract with the royal family of Monaco. It’s a cliché story, a nobody that happens to catch the attention of the prince, but in the beginning, Sally the woman she’s playing, doesn’t know about him and happens to be quite mean to him. It’s a basic enemies to lovers story. But she doesn’t care, she likes it.

At first, when she learned that she was actually shooting in Monaco and not in some studios with green screen, she was excited. It’s a dreamy location and it would not be far away of where she grew up. She comes from a small town in the east of France. She thought that it would be a good opportunity to see her family. With her career, she didn’t get to see her loved ones very often. Christmas was quite lonely these last few years for her. But then reality hit her like a truck driving at the speed of light with no brakes functioning.

There is a reason she doesn’t live in Los Angeles and rather stay in London. She hates all the sparks and hypocrisy that come with Los Angeles. People flaunting their money and designer bags, fake friends pretending to like you because you are popular at the moment but as soon as you are starting to lose interest from the public eye, you become irrelevant, the endless partying… she hates everything there. Sure, she lost some professional opportunities when she made it clear that she would never move there. But she rather loose contracts than who she is. London is where she loves to be. She doesn’t dream, nor want to go anywhere else.

Monaco reminds her of Los Angeles. Luxurious cars, luxurious shops, luxurious everything everywhere. People like to show off. She doesn’t. So she doesn’t go out much, only when she needs it… Though she arrived in Monaco with the firm intention to spend the few weeks before the beginning of the shooting behaving as the perfect tourist, she has to admit she completely failed. She doesn’t like the vibe. And when she doesn’t like something, good luck to change her mind.

So she spent her days locked in her apartment, learning her lines, and breaking down her script and her nights near the beach, when people are out in bars and clubs and when the city is less crowded. Really, Monaco doesn’t feel like a dream to her.

The only thing that she admits enjoying is the sweet piano melodies that she sometimes hear from the apartment below hers…