#seems like everyone 18-25 go through this lol

[centrally-unplanned]

The thing about morality is that it only matters when it's real. Discussions of rules or norms for what is right or wrong are almost always, at some level, illusions, approximating reality and guiding decisions in an uncertain world - which does not make them useless, just contextual. Profaning god in your bedroom can never be “wrong” - there is no one to hear you, no one to be hurt by it. You can only show something is really wrong from the intentions of the actions and their results.

So with that out of the way, lets talk about Knives Chau - and specifically, how the comic vs the anime handled that part of the story.

Scott Pilgrim vs The Reification of Dating a High Schooler

There is an extremely pervasive meme in Scott Pilgrim discourse that our titular Scott is a scumbag. Our returning whipping boy the Kotaku article loves this idea, describing Scott’s “detestable behavior” and wondering “was it too subtle the first time about Scott being an absolute shitbag?”. There is this viral headline screenshot from an interview floating around right now riding that same line:

Which is, of course, pretty much false. Its up to you in the end, “shitbag” is a subjective description, but the story just isn’t about events that would be described that way. Its the story of a guy getting over an awful ex, hurting some people, then meeting a new person, and realizing step-by-step what it takes to be their partner and levelling up as a person each time he does. He starts off broken, and Ramona of course is just as broken - getting better is their mutual arc. And its fundamentally about relationship drama - those stakes don’t make you a scumbag lol, just clueless, unless you are terminally online and don’t know what real stakes are.

I will let O’Malley get the last word in with his quote the writer of that interview is hilariously trying to torture into his headline:

There's a bit of, like, young people see Scott Pilgrim a certain way, and, you know, there's a lot of, like, 18-19-year-old fans that are really judgmental of the character. They're like, "Oh, he's a bad person. I would never do that." But I always tell them, like, get back to me when you're 25 or 30, tell me how your 20s went. Were you a bad person? Everyone has to make choices and do things in life that maybe they're not going to be proud of later.

Scott is a scumbag the way everyone is - you yourself will likely commit similar sins; that at least seems to be the authorial intent, and I agree with it.

So how does dating Knives Chau slot into this?

Despite the memes, age, in fact, is just a number - two consenting people dating does not a sin make. The reason dating underage people is bad is because of its consequences, not the categorical imperative. So what are the consequences of dating Knives Chau in the comic?

Knives is, as a consequence of dating a guy who is simply via his age able to appear so much cooler than her peers to her, absolutely obsessed with Scott. She worships his band:

She starts aping his taste in music and interests; she slots herself into his circle of friends, who don’t relate to her, even after their breakup (often drinking her way through it):

She totally spirals after he cheats on her and leaves her, blaming everyone but him; she is wounded and hurt for months, a year, over a relationship that lasted weeks:

Knives Chau is a literal poster child for why you should not date a high schooler. She is, at every turn, emotionally not ready to date someone who is not at her own level of social development, and is deeply affected by it. It is, sometimes, played for laughs - that is the nature of the comic, everything is played for laughs, but I would have given it a bit more dramatic space myself - but over the course of the story Scott himself realizes how much of an ass he was to her, and how he didn’t take what happened seriously.

The reason I view this with charity is what Scott did to lead to this - he met a cute girl on the bus! He was deeply hurt and kind of numb in life, and found someone who was safe and easy to talk to. He never attempts to kiss her (she starts trying to kiss him which he repeatedly rejects) they don’t even hold hands, and it lasted a few weeks. He knew deep down, pretty much immediately, it was fake:

Then he met an actual person he liked, and with some browbeating from Wallace agreed to break up with her, but chickened out for a day. Then the next day he decides to break up with her, and she drops the L bomb before he can, so he instantly ends it. It is really awkward for everyone involved.

Pushing off an awkward and uncomfortable conversation resulting from a dumb decision you made on a whim for a week - god I relate to that, that’s everyone! If you think it isn’t you I think you're lying. Its why this relationship is so interesting in the comic - Scott is always one step removed from it, putting it at abeyance, and the fact that something so minor to him is so destructive to her is a really good portrait of how these kinds of things happen. Its so easy to hurt someone when you don’t even know what the stakes are, and when its coming not from malice, but from weakness. Its a very good portrayal of a bad relationship because its bad in a relatable way, even if as a story is a bit more dramatic than is typical. And its a great portrayal of how fraught age gaps can be - this bad relationship is part of what makes the comic a good story.

But its 2023, we don’t give a shit about any of that anymore!

O’Malley in the same interview discusses the cultural shift around these kind of relationships:

I felt like in this day and age, I had to provide clarity on that [relationship]. Because when I wrote the first books, I took it for granted that people would understand that dating a high schooler was a bad thing. But on the internet, in this day and age, people are like, "He's dating a high schooler. That's terrible!" Like, that's pretty much what I say on page 1 of the book. But I try to spell it out a little bit more this time.

He isn’t telling the full story though - it was bad in 2004, but not bad the way it is today. Its dubiousness was mitigated by its frequency; people were doing this kind of shit all the time. Scott Pilgrim is a bass guitarist in an indie band; fucking groupies is like built into the cover charge. Half the problem Scott has in dating Knives is that she is the wrong kind of 17-year-old - had Scott met her at 1 am in the aftermath of a Born Ruffian’s concert at the Whippet Lounge knocking down shots off the back of her fake ID, no one would have even noticed. Hell, no one does notice; there is someone who actually makes out with a drunk 17-year-old Knives Chau in the comic Scott Pilgrim, and isn’t Scott Pilgrim:

No one cares about Kim’s inebriated petting session here; that is 10% because she is a Girl and Girls Can’t Be Predators, 40% because she isn’t the main character, and 50% because Kim Pine’s dating history is not a useful proxy battleground for GamerGate-adjacent nerd culture wars in ~2014; but that is road that goes directly to hell, so let's veer back.

The point, of course, is that in 2004 this is a crime flecked with normality, something your friend would do and you would maybe just cock an eyebrow at:

Its not that in discourse today - it is radically more condemned. It is not a contextual sin, but an original sin. It underwent a process I am calling reification - where it goes from being just a shifting descriptor of reality, to a thing in itself, with a defined (reified) meaning. And to be clear, that is in a lot ways on net a good thing? The reality is that, despite everyone’s protestations, there are today thousands of 17-year-olds taking the L line out to a gig at the Brooklyn Steel and going down on a 25-year-old guy they just met in a back alley off Frost St who swears he’s a “drummer in a sick new band” that played here “just last week”, he promises, and she is having a great time, bragging to her friends about how hot his tattoo was, and then shipping herself off to Cornell next year to start on her pre-med track with barely a memory. But for every dozen of those, there is at least one person who is deeply, deeply hurt, a Knives Chau who never deserved this. The rest can have a slightly worse time, its probably worth it.

That does not make it a categorical imperative, though - the reification has masked that truth. The crime comes from the context - those other girls aren’t victims, they would laugh at you for suggesting they were. But in 2023, Scott Pilgrim Takes Off is no longer concerned with context. It is telling you, right to your face, that Scott is a bad dude. Over and over and over - jokes from the Evil League about “wow, I thought we were evil”, its not subtle.

Yet meanwhile, Knives Chau is, like, fine? She dates Scott, is totally into him, and then literally in the middle of his funeral forgets about him for Envy crashing it:

Picks up the bass and has yuri-inflected playtime with Kim the literal next day:

And less than a week later is pitching an off-broadway musical adaption of Scott’s life to a billionaire Matthew Patel - I can’t explain that okay, I’m as confused as you are.

She is mad at Scott, sure, but she is over it in a matter of days. Hell, notice how she was already a fan of the Clash at Demonhead now? There is no scene of Scott introducing her to his kind of music. He didn’t change her. By the end she is a member of his band and they are totally chill:

This is, again, about a week or two later.

Knives is not an important character in this show, way less than in the original, this is no grand sin. But I still find it very interesting: O’Malley is wrong. He “spells it out” way less in this version when it comes to the actual consequences of Scott’s actions. Everyone’s verbal condemnations are substitutes to replace the real damage his actions dealt in the comic. Scott is a better person this time, in a world that has universally agreed he is worse (still not a good move ofc). Even Scott’s moment of apology to Knives about their dating is so tepid its almost Straussian:

Its ‘frowned upon’…which is not the same thing as saying it was wrong! I don’t think this is intentional, its just funny, but its a nice capstone nevertheless.

And it had to be this way, not just for media in general, but for Scott Pilgrim in particular. Not only are sexual crimes far more reified today, but Scott Pilgrim’s sin of dating a high schooler is reified as well - its the first piece of discourse everyone encounters about it. Its the ur-debate of the franchise. The idea of actively engaging on this point, and digging deeper into it…its too hot, too controversial. Way better to shy away from it, disown it. The discourse wrote this part of the script over the course of a decade; its not something the creatives had any say in.

Honestly they should have just gone all the way - just make Knives 19. Then how tepid it is wouldn’t be a distraction anymore. Scott can just be an asshole for cheating on her, that would work fine. If you aren’t going to commit to the reality of these things, you shouldn’t bother with it at all.

[meanbossart]

Just thinking thoughts about Orin and Drow lore, and idk if this has been asked already, but

If Orin had just disappeared for like a year, not even Sceleritas could find her, with how obsessive pre-tadpole Drow was how would he handle that? Aside from being prideful and murdery, I don’t remember in the pre-tadpole Drow lore about any instance (after he made it to the temple) of him expressing anything else. Did the two ever have a wholesome moment?

Hmmmm not wholesome, no. I'm sorry to disappoint people who might wanted to see a more explicitly vulnerable side to both of them at that stage in their lives, but that's just not... How I envision things. I don't think anyone born into the temple would have had much room to express themselves in the way average people do.

What they did have was an undeniable connection and mutual understanding. This lasted for about 7 years, so between ages 18-25 for DU drow. (Canonically he's currently 28, give or take). I think that, sometimes, they also silently understood among themselves that things weren't always fair or good.

This might sound like a whole load of nothing to some people, but based on the culture within the cult, Orin's story, and the behavior of everyone involved in it, it seems huge to me that two people who were essentially groomed to be the embodiment of murder would harbor any kind of care for one another, even if it was subtle. The fact that they could share a bed, talk shit about Sarevok, and seamlessly work together and share in the glory of their deeds as equals is what intimacy looked like for them - before DU drow's ego (and the very need of a more explicitly intimate connection with someone, to be fair) got to his head.

They killed together, they rolled around in blood together, they bickered and fought and one time Orin stabbed him in the gut and DU drow punched her jaw out of it's socket. Then they flopped down on the ground and cackled about it while Sceleritas rushed in to stop the bleeding. Is that wholesome? I think for deified bhaalspawn who know nothing but that life it's the closest it gets.

There had to have been quiet moments I'm sure. Like Orin waiting around while DU drow got ready to go somewhere, him adjusting her headpiece, Orin slicing her brother's long hair off when he first arrived and looked like some sort of sinewy wood's creature. At night, they probably laid in bed in silence and sometimes stared at each other until either fell asleep.

I am very interested in not inventing an obscured, soft side to Orin that we didn't get to see, you know? While she wasn't always the level of manic we see in-game, she was completely unfit to function normally due to her upbringing, and this reflects in her relationships. DU drow is also undeniably emotionally stunted, just in a slightly different way.

I got off rambling to no one's surprise LOL but to answer the first part of your question - I don't think he would have been quite as dramatic about Orin just up and vanishing, as there's no explicit suggestion of death in that. He would have been insufferable to be around for a while, but in that scenario I could see his duties keeping him busy.

Not to mention that, while through death, she would be leaving him unwillingly - disappearing with no trace implies the uncomfortable possibility that she truly, honestly, just didn't want to be around him. That allows room for contempt and bitterness to fester until you wrongly convince yourself there was never any love there at all, even if just to soothe your own conscience.

He would have just become a much, much worse person that way in the sense that he would have nothing to focus on besides for his lord's will - as horrific as his attitude towards Orin was, it is very much a human feature to desperately cling to connection. With Orin around, he had a little bit of fucked up tenderness and love in him - it was a personal desire completely separate from his "job", a vestige of free-will. Without her, he just has Bhaal and whatever Bhaal wants.

Orin has always unwittingly anchored him, and then, later freed him. And he never ever deserved any of it.

🤷

[1percychase]

Unpopular opinion: Nico's trauma is over rated

Okay so I'm not saying that it's not validated or anything, there's a reason it's over rated, but so many fans act like he's the only one and that no one else's trauma matters because Nico has it the worst. When did we start comparing literal trauma?? I think somebody we should look into more is honestly.. Percy. He's the main character and all, but it's almost like all the fans forgot how much he's gone through, which is CRAZY to me. Anyways I have a list cause I love making list and yeah.

1. Getting abused by his step dad, which made him feel worthless and like he didn't matter.

2. Everyone bullying him.

3. The only person who ever seemed to care about him, his mom, disappeared.

4. Getting punished bc of his father.

5. Getting accused of stealing something and getting sent on a quest at TWELVE.

6. His first friend at camp betrayed him, which gave him trust issues.

7. His best friend getting kidnapped.

8. Getting turned into a guinea pig, which actually gave him a phobia over.

9. Having suicidal thoughts while only being THIRTEEN.

10. Never thinking he is enough.

11. His other best friend being kidnapped.

12. Watching Bianica sacrifice herself after he tried to stop her.

13. Holding up the literal sky while also being injured.

14. Being blamed for Bianica's death (and believing it.)

15. Finding out Nico is a child of Hades and deciding to protect him against the Prophecy even if he hated him.

16. Annabeth mad at him bc Rachel likes him, even though he can't control that.

17. Getting lost and separated in the Labyrinth.

18. Watching Pan fade out of existence.

19. Watching Bekendorf explode on a boat.

20. Being the Demigod of the Prophecy.

21. Fighting a war on his birthday, the battle of Manhattan.

22. Watching so many people die in front of his eyes, knowing he couldn't save them.

23. Silena betraying him and the camp (I don't think she was a bad guy at the end but yea.)

24. Feeling guilty that Luke committed suicide and blaming himself when it isn't his fault (idk how true this one is but I've seen it so..)

25. Being kidnapped and all his memory taken away.

26. (This one is kinda a joke) Watching Octavian kill his pillow pet.. rip perry the panda pillow pet.

27. Being in another Prophecy of the seven.

28. Being afraid of drowning, while also being a child of Poseidian.

29. Falling into Tarturus with Annabeth.

30. Going completely psycho and mad.

31. Leaving Bob it Tarturus and feeling super guilty about it.

32. Making Gaia rise with a nosebleed.

33. Fighting in the battle of camp half blood.

34. Thinking Leo died.

35. Finally thinking he has a break and getting asked to help Apollo.

36. Becoming an older brother. (it's not like physical trauma but I'll explain it later)*

37. Jason's death.

38. Going on more quest to get college recommendation letters.

*okay so becoming an older brother was on this list because even if he was so happy to get a half sibling, he's been an only child for a long time and it's hard to accept new people in your life. Also older brother duties. Even if he was just leaving the house when she was a couple months old, I still put it on there bc many people can count it as one. Also I'm the oldest out of 6 kids growing up so I would count it lol*

And people still have the audacity to say percy was too much of a jerk in heroes of olympus, please. I would act the same way.

Anyways I actually have a list of a lot of different characters traumas cause I got bored one night so I might post them <3

[thalialunacy]

[for the @calaisreno May Prompts Faire. g-rated today, lol.]

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15) (16) 17: chaos (18) (19) (20) (21) (22) (23) (24) (25) (26) (27) (28) (29) (30) (31)

'Daddy! Tiger!' 

John, who had been focused on his eReader, finds his daughter standing in front of him with a manic light in her eye. 'Tiger!' 

He looks around the sitting room until his eyes land on the plush tiger Sherlock had gifted her those weeks ago, then he holds it out to her. 'Say please, Rosie.' 

She grabs onto it and waddles off, definitely not saying anything resembling please. John rolls his eyes, lips twitching.

Two days later, she refuses to leave the flat, which is new and different. 'No, Daddy! Tiger will be lonely!'

John drops his head in defeat. 'Sherlock, will you--' Sherlock reappears, holding the toy, before John has a chance to finish the sentence. 'Thank you,' he says tiredly.

And so forth.

'D'you think she's got an imaginary friend tiger?' he ponders aloud as he and Sherlock wait behind a delicious-smelling Burmese restaurant for some counterfeiters. 'She seems awfully keen.'

'Hmm,' is Sherlock's non-answer, and John huffs, watching as the detective's mind churns through the facts of the case and completely ignores everything else. Some things never change, John thinks. Thank god.

Luckily (?), the mystery is solved the very next day.

Everyone in the household is very sleepy and warm, recharging from the excitement of the past week, so the sitting room is quiet and peaceful in a way it rarely is.

Which means, of course, that it must be shattered.

'Tiger!' Rosie suddenly shrieks from Sherlock's lap, and slides off so quickly she loses her balance but scrambles back up, unfazed, to shamble towards their visitor.

Which is a cat.

A rotund, wide-eyed, orange-striped cat.

'Tiger!' his daughter yells again, and the cat is off like a shot.

'Whoa there,' John says, scooping Rosie up and turning to follow the path of the creamsicle tornado. It's swift, the cat disappearing (back?) into Sherlock's room with alacrity, but surprisingly destructive.

John quickly assesses the aftermath while Rosie squirms to go after her new best friend. The skull is on the ground, books and papers are absolutely everywhere, a couple frames have jumped off the walls somehow, Sherlock's spindly music stand has wilted in terror, and Rosie's toys are, if it's even possible, even more of a chaotic mess than they'd been minutes before.

John closes his eyes and prays for patience. Both his and Sherlock's. But then he hears--

He opens his eyes to find Sherlock laughing. Doubled over laughing, in fact.

'Are you…' John asks dubiously, eyeing him. '... all right? Did it destroy something you hated?'

Sherlock snorts. 'No, no, it's just--' He puts his hands on his hips and clears his throat, the grin echoing on his face. 'Twenty years ago, if you'd told me I'd one day not only be sober, but with a partner and child and now a housepet--' He barks out another laugh, seemingly unable to stop himself.

John grins at the word "partner," then clocks the rest of the sentence. 'Wait-- We're keeping it?'

'Yes!' Rosie contributes with gusto. 'Keeping the tiger!'

Sherlock strides over and plucks Rosie out of John's arms. 'Yes, we are. Inasmuch as one can keep a cat used to the out of doors,' he amends. 'What shall we name him, Rosamund?'

'His name is Reginald,' Rosie says. Or at least, John thinks that's what she says. She's barely two and a half, after all, and John still sometimes feels like she's speaking a foreign language.

Sherlock, though, nods as if he heartily agrees. 'Reginald is a fine name. Your father will have to go and procure some food, a box, and probably some flea-preventative, and then our new friend Reginald will be all set.'

John starts to protest, but both his daughter and Sherlock turn big eyes on him, and he has absolutely no chance. 'Yeah, sure,' he says dryly. 'You can hold down the fort while I do so?'

Sherlock waves a hand, already moving on to walk Rosie around the room, presumably assessing damage. 'Of course.'

'Right.' John shrugs on his coat and heads out.

The last thing he hears is, 'Now, did you know, Rosamund, that a group of tigers is known as an "ambush" or a "streak"?'

Child, partner, cat, John contemplates as he steps out into the grey brightness. It's exactly what he'd thought for himself twenty years ago. Except... nothing like that at all.

Thank god.

[❤️]

[looseinthecatroom]

Back at it with delightful background bits in Fionna and Cake.

Link to first post (Not posting them remotely in episode order I'm afraid.)

Cheers - Episode 10

1./2./3. Everyone runs past a hamburger joint... only to faceplant in front of the exact same hamburger joint a few steps later. (Also "Evergreen Flowers", lol.) The repeating backgrounds happen a few times in Fionna world (In Episode one, they keep passing the same background taco place while Fionna is giving her tour), but this one is probably the most obvious.

4. "LEARN TO KICK: Plate, Him, Her, Bug"

5. And later on in the ep when Cake does in fact learn to kick that bug. (Also: "CALL DAN" lmao)

6. Breezy spotted! (I can't for the life of me figure out who the other two characters in this scene are and it bothers the hell out of me.)

7. "Tooth Sale" (This whole section is just a treasure.)

8. So we've got Queenie obviously, Lord Monochromicorn in the back, Fern, DJ Flame and Breezy almost off screen, and alsoooo...

9./10. lol

11. Another crowd shot. Now with Turtle Prince in the top right. And I am once again burdened by the fact that I have no idea who a few of these people are. ;_; Is the person with the spot around their eye Tromo? Dr Gross? Who's the person in the top left whose hair looks like ears? Glasses and mustache? Purple hair, nose ring and head phones person who keeps showing up with Breezy?? Damned if I know.

12. "Lump"

Time for a rapid fire collection of worlds Simon steps on on his way back to Ooo:

13./14./15. Lich, Vampire, Tiny Bears (Rip tiny bear world apple cart.)

16./17./18. Baby world, Melted Winter King World, some sort of horrible factory world

19./20./21. Farmworld, different art style world (Is it a real show?/otherwise extant art style? Shout out if you recognize it.), Jake world

22./23. Fire world and finally; Ooo

24./25. This is the exact same crosswalk as Episode 1. (Also? I've been suspicious of flowers sticking through windows since noticing the "Help Me" plant in Episode 5, but sadly, they didn't end up being as much of a reoccurring theme as I'd hoped.)

26. Saw another post pointing this out first but including it anyway: Scarab fucks over those poor lil' homeless hamsters. Smh.

27./28. There's still some leftover wackiness in the architecture and store fronts

29. Love that some of the new houses look like they're built in farmworld style.

30./31. As I mentioned in another post; seems like the world is no longer (or at least less) glitchy after being made canon. (Forgive the formatting on that last one. The Image limit on posts is 30. >.>)

RIGHT. So. That was episode 10, but it's only the second background details post I've drafted so far. Probably going to post these two, and get around to diving into the earlier episodes slowly/when I've got the time.

YEESH. This series is just a delight. Every dang shot of it is done with care, and it's just wonderful to go through. <3

Episode 1 | Episode 2 | Episode 3 | Episode 4 | Episode 5

Episode 6 | Episode 7 | Episode 8 | Episode 9 | Episode 10

[welcometoteyvat]

i am very curious (and i'm asking this not with any malicious intent) but what ages do you see the genshin characters! i personally see them (most of them) as adults, even collei. even if they were teenagers, time passes in-game (i.e. lantern rite happens every year and we already had 2 lantern rites in-game) so they'll eventually grow to be adults.

tldr: I have schrodinger's age headcanons

long answer: if they're in a ship with a ""clearly"" adult character, I'll assume they're young adults; idk I feel like there's some blurring of age and what growth stage you're in when people are around 17 to 20 (from my experience) so I think it's vague-ish enough that you could probably do what you want.

If they're not in a ship I see some of them as adults and some as still teens/underage. as a general rule of thumb a character's age is solely dependent on what I want at the moment, although I do think the way some characters are written (ie character arcs, character stories and general personality) pushes me to view them as underage (will explain more but the character I'm thinking about most w this is Xingqiu). Some of them read to me as clear adults, and then there are some in-betweens where I just have "vaguely young looking" in my hcs LOL

you bring up a good point that time is passing in game although we don't see it reflected in the character models—everyone points out that Xiao opens up a bit more every lantern rite, but fandom (and genshin devs too ig 💀) definitely forgets that all the other characters are also growing/changing. w/ 4.1 around the corner my personal wish is for hu tao, xingqiu, and chongyun's relationships to each other get developed more so that their relationships (as described through their voicelines abt each other) don't feel so flat,,,,,, it would also help with the sense of "time is passing in game for ALL characters", since we almost never get this kind of evolving relationship portrayed between 4*s/non endgame important charas.

I have too much time on my hands so I'll also just run through all the teen/short models there are for each region and list whether my personal headcanons are adult or minor (at least their ages when we "meet" them in canon):

liyue (mortal/mortal adjacent characters): yanfei, chongyun, xingqiu, hu tao, xiangling, xinyan, yun jin, keqing

yanfei and keqing are solidly adults to me, yanfei's a lawyer and keqing's also in a govt job so both of them feel around like 25-27 to me. Definitely somewhere around their mid-20s, although I can also see them as younger, especially Keqing, because of her overall attitude/perspective on life and the gods. iirc her character stories show how her worldview's grown/broadened to be not as naive/black and white, so I feel like she's still in the process of maturing. If you told me Yanfei was like 23 (appearance wise) I guess I'd believe you too, since she's a very peppy person who seems to be running all over the place all the time, doing errands for madame ping, checking on her clients, taking new cases etc. I feel like it gives her youthful energy, so I can see it if people hc her on the younger side of her 20s (in human years I forgot how her half-adeptal blood works).

I see the other 6 as a friend group (liyue 6ang let's go) so they're either all teens or all adults depending on the portrayal. You can obviously view them as adults all the time, but I don't get those vibes. Xinyan and Yun Jin might be like 18-19, but if that's the case, I can't see the other 4 being any younger than 17, just because I think they're all almost the same age or 1-2 years apart maximum. For some reason so many people view Hu Tao and Yun Jin as adults but at the same time think the others are minors? Idk about that.. genshin has shown that Xiangling, Xinyan, and Yun Jin are pretty close friends, and then always put Xingqiu and Chongyun together for the ship bait, so maybe that's the root of fanon's age hcs. However, I think if some of them are young adults, then all of them are. There's a max 2 year age gap between all 6 of them idk idk I really can't see it otherwise.

To me, Xingqiu's arc reads like a 16 year old finding his footing in the world. Hiding martial arts novels under his bed, tired of playing dutiful 2nd son and sneaking out to live out his idealized wuxia dreams, his multiple voicelines where he's implied to be super worried about us giving away his involvings in the Guhua sect, they all read like he's still trying to figure out his role in his family (what he wants it to be, and what his parents want it to be). He's also very naive about the world, but learning. He just feels a lot like how (chinese) teenagers grow up and like. growing into or out of the paths given to us by our parents. ... or i could just be projecting! Anyways, in my no ships world, he's a 16-17 yr old. Chongyun's clan and family play a not-insignificant role in his backstory, so I think he's the same age as Xingqiu, just older by a month for the flex. Lowkey I don't have as much reason for him as the others, but I think they're in the same age range by association; probably almost 18 at most. Hu Tao's character stories explicitly state she's 13 when her grandfather passed away, and I think she becomes Director not long after this, so I would say she's also around 16-17 when the game starts. @.acatoner who draws quite possibly my favorite interpretations of the gang(TM) once mentioned they see her with spoiled younger sister energy and honestly yeah. she's an only child but has the strongest solidarity with Xingqiu (they're the bratty younger siblings of the friendgroup). Out of all of them, Xiangling is the one with the most plausible job if she was like, young: being a chef apprentice with her dad to continue the family business is pretty reasonable. Middle child energy, probably 17. We did meet her when she was in Mondstadt foraging ingredients, so I'd say she's not very young, but still young enough for her dad to chew her out during moonchase for being like messy or clumsy or smth? Xinyan and Yun Jin.... I think Yun Jin is at least almost 18—running a well acclaimed opera troupe is a pretty big undertaking imo, even if her parents are there to like guide her and whatnot. Same with Xinyan, 17-18 range, although she def started playing rock publicly when she was way younger.

inazuma: shinobu, heizou, kazuha, kirara, gorou, kokomi, ayaka, yoimiya

Disclaimer I have not read the Lore and don't know whether actual ages are given for Ayaka and Ayato (specifically pointing them out because iirc their and Thoma's character stories are the most specific ones wrt the timeline).

I see basically all of them as adults, ayaka might be an exception but she's like 17 minimum in my head. That's pretty interesting considering I labeled almost all the liyue short models as teens. From what I can remember of their character stories, the Inazuman characters seem to be portrayed as having their formative struggles set In the Past (probably a couple years before we meet them) so perhaps that's why I see them as solidly young adults. Additionally, Inazuma's arc and its war pushes me to see all of them as adults, even if they're still obscenely young to be generals and strategicians. The exceptions I can see to this are only Yoimiya (smaller role in archon quest and not related to the government), and Shinobu + Heizou, who were released later. Yoimiya's maturity really stands out to me—from the way her neighbors and old people converse with her, and her overall character arc + second story quest, I cannot see her as below like 19 at least. Shinobu manages an entire unofficial gang and has countless certifications under her belt plus ex-shrine maiden stint—she probably isn't less than 23. It would be cute if she were the same age as Yanfei but just started law school later, so Yanfei's still her senior. I think there's not much to say on Heizou either, he's friends with Kazuha and has a real job, so I can't read him below 20-21. I don't know anything about Kirara (don't have her, haven't read her stories) but I also just get the vibes of like 20-something errand girl SDFDSSKDFJS in a modern au she'd deliver to teyvat/inazuma's college campus for sure

mondstadt (humans): barbara, razor, bennett, fischl, mika, amber, noelle, sucrose

this is a mix again, for Barbara Razor Bennett and Fischl they give me kid vibes, like little adventure gang things. Reddit apparently cites Mona called Fischl an adult in the 2.8 Midsummer Fantasia GAA event, so I mean. I guess she's 18 there—might've been 16 when we met in game the first time (1.2?? scaramouche fake stars event or something?) Idk really. Their group collectively gives me 16 year old vibes, at least when we start the game. I can see it if all of them have aged to 18 now—it just makes sense in my head lol. Mika feels like an 18 year old; mostly because of his relationship with Huffman. Amber seems vaguely adult-ish, I'd say 19 or so, maybe 20 during shadows amidst snowstorms in 2.3. there's some logic behind this that ties into her search for her grandfather but it's like vague and hazy in my head. I haven't given much thought to Noelle and Sucrose— Sucrose also gives "vaguely adult" vibes, idk if her character story about wanting to make a wonderland to meet her past friends in has any relevance to timeline estimation. I'd say Noelle also falls into the vague adult age range, but to me she's a puzzle, because her personality seems incongruent to how I thought she might act if she's like 23 or so.

anyways, anon if you read all this i will declare my love for you. thanks for giving me an excuse to genuinely think on this and then dump my thoughts out for the internet. you can clearly see none of my braincells really go towards Mondstadt headcanons but I hope you're happy w my response ehe

[dogstarblues]

20 Questions

got tagged by @artemis-devotee. seemed like fun! ty botan!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

i have 11 works and i can tell you four of those are poetry.

2. What’s your total AO3 words count?

17,831

3. What fandoms do you write for?

on ao3? used to write for the ch**tiverse, still write for Victoria Goddard's Nine Worlds. well, okay im on hiatus from participating in fan stuff bc i got too much going on and i have complicated feelings abt fandom. but. on ffnet? naruto, inuyasha, bleach, fairy tail, danny phantom. i think.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

we have time (love this one - much needed natural hair content in that fandom, much needed)

you can't even see how much you're mine (i'm really proud of this one)

before we have time

just for now

gazing at the sun

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i respond to everyone's comments if i can remember LOL

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

you can't even see how much you're mine. really exorcised my polyamory baggage with that one LMAO

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

mmmmm none of them end poorly but they end heavily, if that makes sense? but also they don't. like most of my fanfiction as an adult in my 30s is discussion of wants and needs in a relationship and hashing out things that need to be talked abt

8. Do you get hate on fics?

i have on ffnet when i was a teen and giving every naruto character in my biopunk fanfic like 4 codenames SDKVDFLVMS

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

yuh. "just for now" is smut (old man yaoi). and there's another i think. i wanted to really confront my sex repulsion and explore my own boundaries around what i write.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

naur i never understood crossovers v well. i love an AU tho

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

probably not. on ffnet it was SO goth edgelord and now it's extremely poetic prose. (and when i say POETIC prose i mean it tend to be concise and abstract, not that its purple) who wants that LOL

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

naur

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

yes! my first fanfiction was with my childhood friend Sunshine and we posted a double-self-insert absolute MANIC fanfic set in the world of Inuyasha posted to ffnet. one of my fondest memories. i dictated, she wrote.

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

i don't have one these days but i shant say what it used to be only that it made me insane from the time i was 14 to the age of 25.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

i had an old man yaoi urban fantasy au wherein a character who used to be the chosen one had been imprisoned and was surviving the trauma of that as a music teacher and i read a ton of prison literature for it and watched documentaries and watched interviews and spent WEEKS researching trauma from incarceration and what it means to be incarcerated (part of this was because my birth father was about to be incarcerated and i was trying to write through my understanding of what he'd be going through) and researching what town councils do. and then a (now former) friend had torn apart the fic paragraph by paragraph during beta and wrote how boring parts were and no one wanted to hear abt me talking abt poetry in the fanfic and it was my FIRST fanfic since i was in my early twenties and i basically deleted the whole thing out of embarrassment and hurt. iykyk who it was. idk if i can ever go back to that. i just don't. i want to but. even strangers in workshops aren't that cruel LOL

16. What are your writing strengths?

i'm a pretty/poetic writer good at relationship shit i think. i'm good at grounding the reader in a sense of place and my writing is very tactile. it's embodied.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

i am a pretty/poetic writer

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i know some spanish and a little french and even less russian (i'm like learning that one through osmosis) but it's not v applicable. hmmmm i wouldn't try unless i was fluent.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

inuyasha

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

either the naruto biopunk fanfiction on ffnet (i turned that one into a fanfic from a biopunk short story i had written in high school it's v close to my heart even if edgy) or "you can't even see how much you're mine" bc i put a lot into that or "we have time" because your partner doing your natural hair IS a love language.

if yall wanna hop in i'm tagging @toopunkrockforshul @cadencekismet @markeyverse

[dlstmxkakwldrlarchive]

SEEK MAGAZINE VOL.04 — 50 QUESTIONS INTERVIEW WITH ONEW

1. What kind of book are you currently interested in?

O: A book on world cultures. I have a deep understanding of our country as compared towhat I know of the world. So I thought that I should learn about the different ways of thinking of the rest of the world that I don’t know. That’s why I read it.

2. What kind of movies do you like?

O: I love horror films!

3. When you were in school, what is the subject you’re weak at?

O: Math…

4. When you were in school, what is the subject you’re best at?

O: Science!

5. If your girlfriend cooks for you, what dish would you like her to cook?

O:Dakdolitang!

6. What is your ideal type in a girl?

O: A girl with a cute aura.

7. Which hairstyle do you prefer in a girl? Short, bob, semilong, or long?

O: Short hair.

8. What is your favorite number?

O: 2. I feel like it has a sense of stability.

9. If a girl could give you a message, what words would make you happy?

O: I would be happy if I were told, “Your voice is really beautiful.”

10. What Korean dish would you recommend to your Japanese fans?

O: Samgyetang

11. Please wink for us.

(photo)

12. What SHINee song would you recommend to lift someone’s spirit when they’re feeling down?

O: 321

13. What if you invited a girl you like to a date, how will you approach her?

O: I think that instead of asking her out boldly, I will do it secretly and in private(LOL).

14. Recently, is there anything that made you feel happy or energetic?

O: I took awalk after a long time! The trees were so green, and when I saw them I can feel the nature. The wind also felt really nice.

15. What is your treasure?

O: My family, myself, my fans. And the people around me who support me.

16. What is your favorite (Japanese) word?

O: Smile.Because a smiling face is the best.

17. What is your recent favorite fashion item?

O: Fedora hats.

18. What is a food you dislike?

O: Cucumbers.

19. Please hold out your hand.

(photo)

20. What is your favorite smell?

O: The smell of trees. They have a calming feeling.

21. What is your ideal age to get married?

O: I wonder how old would be good…about 35 years old? (LOL)

22. What is your latest hobby/game that interests you?

O: Bowling! I even bought My Ball! I’m thinking of seriously doing it (LOL).

23. What is your special skill?

O:Hmm..ttakbam (LOL)

24. What is your favorite food?

O: Chicken! I love chicken! I like any dish with chicken!

25. Please give us a flying kiss!

(photo)

26. Please make a crying face.

(photo)

27. What is a book you like?

A: Poetry. It is an accumulation of unsaid feelings and is easy to read.

28. How do you relieve stress?

O: I guess this is also by walking. Like, taking a walk through a place I’ve never ventured before. Since it’s a place I’m unfamiliar with, I become observant of the things around me and it’s exciting, discovering a lot of new things. With that, my mood becomes better. I recommend it to everyone!

29. What is your charm point?

O: My voice!

30. What is the most interesting dream you had?

O: Hmm..I forgot. LOL. I may have had dreams but I don’t really remember them?

31. What did you eat last night?

O: Ramen!

32. If you’re taking a walk with your girlfriend, what is better? holding hands or linking arms?

O: Holding hands would be better, I think~

33. What present would you give your girlfriend if you’re celebrating your first anniversary?

O: Hmm…what would be nice? …Will you give me suggestions? (LOL)

34. What is your weak point?

O: I get easily influenced by other people’s opinions.

35. What is something you want to do before you die?

O: Something that seems to feel really good–Skydiving!

36. What do you wear when you sleep?

O: T-shirt and shorts.

37. What is your dream when you were young?

O: To be a scientist or architect

38. When you go out, what item should definitely be in your bag?

O: My phone, wallet, and room keys

39. What is the first thing you do upon waking up?

O: Check the time.

40. What is something that you are secretly proud of?

O: No matter what I’m going to start doing or no matter where I am going, I always prepare for it.

41. Which do you prefer, roller coaster or haunted house?

O: If I can choose, then roller coaster.

42. Please make a gesture showing, “keep it a secret”!

(photo)

43. What is your favorite sport?

O: Favorite sport, I don’t have one (LOL).

44. What do you buy in a convenience store?

O: I often buy sweets or drinks.

45. Are you the type of person who eats his favorite food first or last?

O: Either. It depends on what I feel during that time.

46. How do you spend time in your room?

O: If there is time, I sleep a lot.

47. What is your favorite animal?

O: Giraffe

48. What is your favorite color?

O: Blue!

49. What is your favorite season?

O: Although they pass by easily, spring and autumn.

50. (Q fromSWJ): Onew-san always has a smiling face, but if a problem comes up, what do you do to calm yourself down?

O: First, I sleep (LOL). But I don’t sleep to forget about it. I sleep mainly to /reset/ and regain my presence of mind. Then I think it over again,what I lacked/missed and what I need to do.

 trans.

[clatoera]

Hi! I just saw your reply from the anon asking about your thg story! I'm not usually one to send asks or even post on tumblr (never was tbh), but this just hit so close I felt the need to say, me too! That's why I followed you initially, I just gasped at your bio and thought "there's more people like me on here!" and pressed follow!

I too was that insufferable 14 year old. I could not get away with wearing any form of braided hairstyle without being teased that I was trying to be Katniss (I probably was half the time haha). My friends, family, school teachers, everyone knew I was obsessed with the Hunger Games.

It fizzled out gradually for me too. I think it was just the natural progression with the films coming to an end etc etc. It never left though, obviously.

I re read the books before reading the prequel. I'm so with you on these books being a whole different experience now that we're closer to Finnick's age than Katniss and Peeta's. 16 seemed so so old to me, so imagine what i thought of characters like Finnick and Johanna. I can't even comprehend having gone through something like they did at my age now, let alone at 16.

I think back then, the main draw for me was definitely Katniss and Peeta's relationship. It still is one of my favourite things about the books, but after rereading them and the prequel, I agree that there is so much we missed, just by simply being too young to fully comprehend it. I find that I now have a larger interest in the political scope of everything and just the world in general (like...how tf did they rebuild the whole country after mockingay? need to discuss!!)

anyway, sorry for the long "ask". i'm so excited to see another tumblr returner on here! i've been coming back every so often to get content for other things i love, and have only recently taken the plunge and become a little more active.

I suppose there is a sense of shame a lot of us were made to feel about liking the things we like and coming on the internet to form passionate communities around it. I feel the same, it very much is a service to my teen self to come on here and find joy in rediscovering the things I love as well as using this site to explore my new interests. A reclamation, I suppose. I'm a bit more confident now. Back then, I would never, ever have sent asks or made my own posts. I think my 14 year old self is very happy for me, for this little

hope you're having a good day/night, whatever time, where ever you are in the world! :)

Hi hello! I read this as soon as it came in this morning, and wanted to respond, but wanted to be sure to give it the enthusiastic and lengthy response it deserved, that my brain could not formulate at 4 am when I read it.

I am so glad others feel the same. I remember in the early days, I was on Tumblr ( my main blog has existed since 2012 lol), but not active in fandom spaces. I was a fanfic writer. And on Facebook I was REALLY active in fandom and was literally participating in like..Hunger Games RP in Facebook comments. Wild. I was so into it.

Whats really settled with me, as a 25 year old woman, is like..the way mentors had to feel. My baby brother is 17 years old. He is a baby to me. He is just a child to me. I cannot imagine being Johanna or Finnick or Annie, mentoring at my age (or younger, actually), to kids my brothers age. Teenagers feel like Kids and I feel such an immense sisterly, guiding, mentor-ly role to them. Even college kids, I've been a mentor for pre-medicine students in my sorority for years, and those 18 year olds vs me, at 25? massive difference. I cannot imagine watching someone my little brother's age fight to the death. I cannot imagine someone my baby cousin's age, who is 12, fighting someone my brother's age. I cannot imagine watching someone my brother's age lead a war, lead a rebellion, and go through the things Katniss does. I can only imagine the horrors the past Victors learned to feel, and the emotions attached to their tributes every year.

more things that I am horrified by?

Katniss and Peeta. 16 years old. About to be MARRIED in the Capitol.

Gale, 18, working in the mines.

Again, Katniss and Peeta, with the (albeit fake) baby. 17 with a child? I remember being 16 years old, my best friend in the world had a baby. I was there. I remember watching her become a mother far too young, and I have watched ever since the way she has struggled and what it did to her mental health. Two 16/17 year old kids, having a baby, is a horror that should be addressed beyond what I at 16 thought it was. I was so team yes let there be a baby! as a child. But now? Now I see the horror of that. I Have delivered the babies of girls that age. I have held their hands as they are alone in the world. I'm going into a field specifically to help girls and women, in this position especially.

I think to that letter Plutarch wrote Katniss, where he literally says he would put her all through it again for the same outcome.

The youth of these tributes is haunting. If there were capitol doctors around they would be pediatricians. Let that sink in. The things these Victors would need is a pediatrician (also a psychiatrist and a surgeon probably).

Please message me (anyone can actually to talk about this) to talk about these things. The hidden horrors that are missed at 15, that stare you in the face as you reexamine as an adult. I'd love to talk about it in depth. I'd love to talk about how it has shaped me.

But seriously HMU because I want to talk about that most mockingjay rebuilding :)

[zalrb]

OTH 3X03 REWATCH Review

1. IIIIIIIII DON’T WANNA BE ANYTHING OTHER THAN WHAT I’VE TRYNA BE LATELYYYYYYYYYYYY

2. “Should’ve used your stage name.” Lol, petty Nathan, I like it.

3. Also, in my high school, our lockers were supposed to be our same lockers for the whole four years but a) we moved lockers if we felt like it b) we didn’t even really use lockers, we just brought our bags to class.

4. Guys, their chemistry has DISAPPEARED

5. The whole plot line of these girls making fun of Haley for being a rockstar is just ... why? Like, I get jealousy, like I’ve heard of teen singers who got their, like, tires slashed by students and stuff because of their celebrity but this just rings so false.

6.

THE 00S WHAT A TIME!

7. Dan, shouldn’t you be focused on rebuilding your dealership?

8. Whitey is just so useless.

9. Was medical marijuana not a thing yet? Wasn’t it a thing in the 90s?

10. I know Dan thinks Lucas tried to kill him but this is your, like, 17 old son.

11. “I don’t care how many board members got their cars at cost, 40 years of coaching should count for more than that” not to side with Dan but one is more effectual than the other, Whitey, you’re a terrible coach. Which again. This is not a basketball town. In FNL, Eric loses ONE game in season 1 and the entire town freaks the fuck out and is like, we win SEASONS here, not games.

12. I like how they make it seem like adoption isn’t a lengthy process and that Ellie was just like yep this couple and that was it.

13. The funniest thing about the Haley/Nathan detention SL for me is that this ACTUALLY happened to me (minus the marriage or EVEN the dating) with my best friend and my French teacher. We weren’t talking because of the whole I realized I liked him thing and we weren’t sitting together in class anymore and I guess he would glare at me from across the room and sometimes we just ended up in huge fights in the hallway and we had French class before lunch and she told us both to stay behind then kept us in the room with her for the whole lunch hour so we could talk. She did it again after school another time.

14. “See you at lunch”, I’ve never seen you two together at lunch.

15. “Are you Kelly Clarkson?” “WANNA SAY THAT TO MY FACE?” WHAT is the insult here.

16. OK it IS really intrusive for Ellie to just be UP in Peyton’s room, going through her art, like I would be pissed off too but also

I need her to give it a rest, like I’m tired, Peyton.

17.

Like, I CAN’T. It also doesn’t help that Hilarie isn’t a great actress so this just comes across as whining as opposed to sheer devastation. Like, go find Jake and be giddy again please.

18. Everyone just loves calling Brooke a whore, man.

19. Oh, Peyton, looking at the stoplights. Ofc. At least she’s not driving this time I guess.

20. “Sometimes you guess right. You guessed where to find me.” Who wouldn’t know where to find you, Peyton. My god.

21. Mouth you’ve been annoying this WHOLE episode.

22.

but Lucas has NO right to be the one to tell him this. You end up painting Brooke’s red door black, sir.

23. Why is the MAYOR here? OK.

24. Lol I can hear Leyton shippers talking about how Peyton always brings up making out with Lucas as an indication that she wasn’t over him and that Leyton was always in the background but Peyton also always brings up making out or Nathan being horny for her all the time around him too and in fact in season 2 has to remember not to talk like that in front of Haley, so that’s just Peyton’s thing, she just talks about making out with guys she’s made out with before.

25. Dan is just fucking EVERYWHERE

26.

1. This is redundant, just say booty call.

2. We’ve never actually SEEN this. This just seems like conjecture.

27. I’m sorry but I found this delivery SO funny. This is not better, Nathan.

28. This always made me laugh because this is just regular pjs, it isn’t sexy, but she’s in her underwear instead of pants, so I guess

29. THE CHEMISTRY IS JUST GONE

30. Every time I see Whitey I’m like WHY

31. ALWAYS LOVE, HATE WILL GET YOU, EVERY TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME. Nostalgia.

32. Then Lucas’  fucking voiceover ruins it.

33. Because we all know that a podcast is a sufficient substitute for therapy from a licensed professional.

34. THE LETTERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

35. I also realize that I like Naley when they’re together but don’t care for their buildups.

[nyx-lacrymaria]

5, 10, 12-25.

:)

Long post ahead

5- What’s your phone wallpaper?

I lost my wallpaper photos so here have screenshots of my phone, both of these are from Pinterest lol

Left: lock screen, Right: home screen

10- What song would you play at your funeral?

Very good question. I think I have multiple things I'd want to do

Either:

1. A whole bunch of skaen songs. something like this

I think atmospherically it would be lovely, and also give my funeral a creepy feeling

2. It would be fucking hilarious to play highway to hell or heaven was full (I'm headed straight to hell)

3. However I feel like Kiki Rockwell, specifically like Madeline and cup runneth over would also give the atmosphere as well as being songs close I enjoy thoroughly

12- What do you want to be remembered for when you die?

I don't.

As in when I die I want to be able to exist past the mortal realm without ties to anything. I want to feel the freedom in being forgotten and and having no ties to anything that ever existed and will ever exist. Just being able to experience true nothing and having nothing to make me live again

13- If you could commit any crime without consequence, which crime would you commit? Or would you not commit any crime at all?

STABBING NIGEL FARAGE TIL HE FUCKING PERISHES

Nah I'd probably steal some stuff that'd be chill I think

14- Would you rather know the date or cause of your death?

I think I'd rather know the date of my death, it would give me the time to prepare for it and be able to live my life as much as I wanted without fear or worry. Knowing the cause would cause me intense paranoia and I think I would avoid everything that could lead me to that, as well as constant worry that I would be shortly about to die

15- What would you do if you found a dead body in a hotel room?

Call my spouse get her to deal with it and leave 👍

16- Are we really living or are we just slowly dying?

We are doing both I think. There is life in all of us yet it is slowly fading as we get closer to our inevitable destiny. And I think to loom on the slow dying of everyone and everything makes the world seem merely like a list of things that are yet to die, and you wait for everything to disappear from your life before you inevitably do. But living the life that we have currently and just trying to make our way through as best we can and enjoying what we can whilst we can brings the most joy and value

17- Do you like the taste of blood?

Take one look at me and think I'd say no to this question in good faith. Yes obviously it is very nice 10/10

18- If you had to lose a body part, which one would you choose and why?

Pinky toe on right foot. I despise it with a passion it can go fucking die for all I care

19- Would you rather be frozen, burned, or drowned?

Drowned 100%. I think it would be the most peaceful especially if I accepted the fast that I was going to die. I also find temperate changes to be wildly annoying and burning/freezing would just be awful

20- If there's hell of some sort, do you think you’re going there?

Probably idk like I haven't done anything but also I just feel like I would vibe there

21- How would you dispose of a body?

Once again. call the spouse let 'em do the work 👍

22- Would you kill someone you don’t know to save someone you love?

I don't have it in me to kill. Even if I wanted to kill them, I don't think I would be able to murder them

23- Would you rather be burned at the stake but die a saint beloved by all, or die peacefully but have nobody remember you?

Die peacefully and not be remembered. As said earlier I don't want to be remembered, and would hate to be burned. As well as that, I don't want to be a beloved saint, I just want to be my flawed unimportant self, I think being a saint doesn't suit my character also

24- Would you rather eat part of a human heart or a whole human eye?

The heart 100% I think that the eye would be disgusting and like. Slimy. But the heart, especially if it was cooked could probably taste fairly decent. also there's probably a symbolism

25- What question would you ask the devil?

Id probably ask what happens after death and if there is a heaven/hell what they are like and where I am likely to end up

Holy shit glamber that took me like half an hour omg please enjoy

[huxleyfamilyvalues]

3, 4, 12, 13, 17, 18, 21, 22, 25? Is that too many?

Thanks for letting me procrastinate on this jorjorwel essay. Time to make a fool of myself.

3. Top five books of the year

Uhhh ....lol. based on how much I think about them on the regular.

Simulacra and Simulation (jean baudrillard)

The Huxleys: an intimate history (Alison Bashford, this one is so close to being number one but I really like baudrillards cultural analyses lol)

Eating Apes (Dale Peterson)

A Room of One's Own (virginia Woolf)

The fire next time (James Baldwin)

4. Did you discover any new authors you love this year?

Honestly I'm glad that I got to pick up some Naomi Klein, even though I didn't particularly like No Logo I am definitely going to check out her other writing. James Baldwin as well but I didn't discover him, I just really enjoy his writing style.

12. Any disappointing books?

So maybe I read Yellowface by RF kuang to see what the buzz was about! It was okay. It felt like reading tumblr discourse but it was nothing revolutionary.

13. Least favourite books of the year?

Peter Chalmers Mitchell's childhood of animals LOL, in fact a lot of the Zoo texts were EXTREMELY dry. I love the content and would read it on my own time but having to comb through it for socialism/eugenics when there is so much for these zoo admins to talk about in terms of animal behaviour is quite tiresome. I learned a lot about 1912 protozoa studies though. Same cannot be said for literally anything EG Boulenger has written. That man writes like shit and his layman writing makes it seem like he got his biology degree by filling out a form in the Daily Mail.

Oh also Fathers and Sons by Turgenev and Richard Halperns Norman Rockwell: The Underside of Innocence.

17. Any books surprise you with how good they were?

Well, did cry reading a room of one's own so that was pretty great. David M. Kennedy's freedom from fear was a little pessimistic but just a beautiful book overall.

18. How many books did you buy?

The Zoo ones. No archive had them. No libraries wanted to loan them. So I had to take matters into my own hands. 💀💀💀💀

21. Did you get involved with booktok/bookblr/booktube drama?

Sometimes my irl bestie sends me shocking book premises about like having sex with doorknobs and balloons or some British lady eviscerating Colleen Hoover but I don't get involved with that kind of thing.

22. Longest book read this year?

I think freedom from fear was 900 pages. This is what I do instead of reading war and peace. Maybe next year I'll finally read war and piece. Or maybe I'll read the entirety of The Science of Life. Who knows.

22. What's the fastest you've read a book?

I read Yellowface in a day but I think that's the point.

25. Reading goals for next year?

Honestly not much, just read what makes me happy. Which will be very unfortunate for everyone who will be receiving British naturalist fancams in their DMs from me. I'd like to reread eating apes tbh. I'd like to make an effort to take books from the library more too. I should stop reading so much academia but I should also start cracking open Foucault. I really want to read The Delectable Negro as well, and get more involved in anthropological studies.

Yay thanks for all the questions :) ily

[fatui-harbingers]

Oh my god i have been into older dudes sm lately too and its prob a phase so i'm like its alright but what if it continiues and i will start dating men 20 years older than me and I DONT WANT THAT LMAO

Same lmao. Like it’s just so weird bc it was just all of a sudden?? I mean, I’ve barely ever been attracted to guys my age anyway bc teen boys just seem so immature and childlike but I’ve also never really been that attracted to older guys either. And all these older guys I’m thirsting after are old enough to be my dad lmao so I’m just like you need to chill out girl. They’re just celebrities though so no worries I guess haha. I’m pretty serious about age gaps though so I don’t see myself ever seriously getting involved with anyone more than maybe a year or two older than me. It’s probably just a phase so we have nothing to worry about lol

[parageist]

im just gonna answer all 50 things and then anyone who wants to comment on my responses can lol

1. so many honestly. im hyperfixated on rain world rn though so probably al the scavengers, slugcats, and iterators xD

2. lighters are so satisfying to use, and don’t create a bunch of waste. plus matches always make me a bit scared that they’ll break or burn me and they just seem so inconsistent. but when you get a match to light, it’s a whole different magical experience. i feel like some post-apocalyptic bunker-dweller lighting my oil lantern to go scavenge through some abandoned train tunnels for supplies. very fun

3. as long as it isn’t too cold, stormy, or there’s wildfire smoke outside, then yeah. some bugs do manage to get in though :/

4. some sort of undefined ghostly entity or energy force that manifests itself into multiple different beings, explaining why encounters with cryptids are always so inconsistent and all over the place

5. dark brown

6. do what? You’re mother?😈

7. hair ties but sometimes they get tangled and i get freaked out

8. i think there’s like one or two somewhere in the corner or in my closet

9. i hate coffee, it tastes vile. i love hot chocolate though, but normally i just drink a protein shake or some soda each morning to get my energy boost. i should try tea more often though

10. mhm :3

11. i wanna start a dnd group but im so overwhelmed and bad at scheduling things ;-; it’s been way too long since i last played

12. like in terms of the weather? it’s overcast and drizzly, like most days from october-march here in the PNW

13. this morning

14. yes please!! fun fact that smell is called petrichor (meaning “rock blood”) and is caused by an organic compound called geosmin. both of those words are really cool sounding imo. bouta make an oc named Petrichor Geosmin

15. i have created several eldritch homunculi chained up in my basement🙂

16. anyone can drive, but not everyone can do it as unsafe and illegally as i can 😎

17. nearsighted i think? up close things appear normal with or without my glasses, but far away things are significantly blurrier without them

18. color-safe shampoo and conditioner. that’s it. lmao

19. if you wanted that :)

20. SODAAAAA!!!💥💥🔥💯

21. so many trinkets that half of my closet is full of them

22. peculiar

23. as long as i have warm clothing or someone to cuddle with then it’s cool

24. chillin, maybe a bit of weedery. either that or a dramatic anime battle where i keep making jojo references

25. both because i’m Normal (OCD) about how i smell to others!🙂

26. there’s so many it hurts to think

27. 6 ish

28. with a smile for hours at a time. jk lmao. if i’m sick, around sick people, at a medical place, or someone asks me to then sure, but otherwise i don’t like the sensation of masks and they fog up my glasses

29. as warm as possible before i meet my pain threshold

30. im eating my plate of dinner right now and there’s a few mugs

31. so fuckin many but im really into mashup week megamix rn. something about all the synchronized beats and tracks and references make my dissociated mess of a brain reassemble some gears

32. no but i hate the towels that like leave bits of fuzz on your skin. fowl

33. some japanese gardens in the city. the whole atmosphere was ruined by a bunch of lawnmowers and wasp nests though :/

34. revenge a minecraft parody by captainsparklez and tryhardninja. and a bunch of other songs

35. pst. it’s currently 501pm rn

36. one

37. nobody 🥲

38. i only use liquid soap

39. sometimes but i should more given how much i bite my lips. completely unrelated but one time i took a huge chomp out of a stick of deodorant for no discernible reason :3

40. i had a brotein par

41. in a hearse. To its grave.

42. discord

43. good but i’m white so i can’t take much

44. trump? putin? jeff bezos? elon musk? idk even if i did kill one of them, it’s not gonna solve much. the system is rotten to its core, evil figureheads just give us someone to point all the blame to

45. uhhhhh i played rainworld instead of going to school, worked on my halloween costume, then played more rain world, finished saint again and almost cried, then i sorted my stickers and made poor life decisions with my sleep schedule :)

46. christmas vacation i guess? idk they all kinda blend together

47. “just really tired (sob puddle emoji)”

48. fourteen. and no that is not something to brag about. i was and still am a very stupid kid

49. i did it once but idk how

50. yes please!! :33

here’s weirder asks

who is/are your comfort character(s)?

lighter or matches?

do you leave the window open at night?

which cryptyd being do you believe in?

what color are your eyes?

why did you do that?

hair-ties or scrunchies?

how many water bottles are in your room right now?

which do you prefer, hot coffee or cold coffee?

would you slaughter the rich?

favorite extracurricular activity?

what kind of day is it?

when was the last time you ate?

do you love the smell of earth after it rains?

are you a parent? (all answers qualify)

can you drive?

are you farsighted or nearsighted?

what hair products do you use?

imagine we’re at a sleepover, would you paint my nails?

do you say soda or pop?

something you’ve kept since childhood?

what type of person are you?

how do you feel about chilly weather?

if we were together on a rooftop, what would we be doing?

perfume/body spray or lotion?

a scenario that you’ve replayed multiple times?

about how many hours of sleep did you get?

do you wear a mask?

how do you like your shower water?

is there dishes in your room?

what type of music keeps you grounded?

do you have a favorite towel?

the last adventure you’ve been on?

is there a song you know every word to by heart?

what’s your timezone?

how many times have you changed your url?

someone in your life, other than a relative, you’ve known for 10+ years?

a soap bar that smells good?

do you use lip balm?

did you have any snacks today?

how do you take your coffee?

an app you frequently use besides this godforsaken site?

what’s your take on spicy foods?

you get a free pass to kill anyone, who is it?

can you remember what happened yesterday?

favorite holiday film?

what was the last message you sent?

when did you first try an alcohol beverage?

can you skip rocks?

can i tag you in random stuff?

[feelingofcontent]

DNP Rewatch: Trying To Live My Truth

Date video was published: 03/03/2018 (X)

DNP Main Channel Rewatch: 372

The last true “dinof” video until BIG.

0:03 - Dan does look tired in this video. also, this is the only video where that light-bulb-lamp is actually hanging up

0:18 - that does not look comfortable but I guess that’s kind of the point

0:29 - with the hindsight of knowing he was trying to come out to his family and everything at this point, a lot of things in this video make a lot of sense

0:46 - that was a tangent

0:51 - and here’s the quote from my header and where I got the url/title of this blog from. this resonated immediately with me when he posted this video back in 2018 and it still does

1:09 - adore that Phil must have just had this candid photo of Dan

1:26 - I mean, that would be my first thought too, but then when he explains it (and even talks more about it in YWGTTN) it does make sense

1:40 - it is nice that he specifies “for some people”; it may not apply to everyone

1:45 - they seem to store some stuff in the filming flat kitchen as it’s actually bigger than the living flat one

1:46 - the sad face in the yogurt and then the clown face is nice symbolism for this bit

2:00 - god this still does hit home for me

2:07 - stealing Phil’s glasses

2:12 - and letting Phil beat him up again (like that scene in What NOT to do at University)

2:15 - ouch that binder actually smacked him in the face

2:25 - definitely an important point too

2:22 - absolutely LMAO at this poster he put together. so many details

2:48 - another thing he talks more about in YWGTTN

2:52 - I do think the fish farmer metaphor goes on a bit, lol

3:34 - god this video makes even more sense as a stepping stone to Dan planning to come out later in 2018. he even got the sparkly jacket he would eventually wear in BIG around this time

4:05 - Dan had talked, even for years before this, about how important authenticity was to him

4:22 - this internal debate definitely came through in the very different types of content he posted in 2017

4:34 - and even the detail of “sitting back down” after the yelling out the glass door screen. would love to see what a Dan video script looked like and how many details were included

4:43 - and there’s the “laughter, food, and sex” that is probably one of the lines everyone remembers from this video

4:57 - it does seem like a simple list, but even a simple ask can be much more complicated inside your head

5:03 - Dan was putting himself out there with this video

5:21 - this video also makes me glad in hindsight that he waited another year to come out until he was really ready

5:41 - he does try to keep things a bit lighter with the cut-away clips instead of being super-serious the whole time

5:54 - so much talking-to-himself. that’s a thing from some old Dan videos that he brought back

6:13 - “one tiny impossible step at a time” 🥺

6:28 - annnnd the line everyone focused on. I mean, Dan had to know that was going to get a reaction, but I do see how he was annoyed that some people seemed to only take that away from this video

This is my favorite Dan video. I’m not sure how weird of a choice that is. It was just kind of...the kick I needed at that point in my life, I guess. And a reminder that working towards happiness is a constant thing and doesn’t have to stop even as I get older.

[ravysu]

Sannin headcanons and thoughts

The last thing I would like to post for the sannin week. It is still 24.04 here! :D @sannin-central

This is long. Spoiler alert. Mostly Orochimaru, some Tsunade, a little of Jiraiya (because his story is pretty clear and spoken and idk what I can add). Also I recommend to read this meta about Orochimaru, it has influenced me a lot and has some good points. Sorry for any posible grammar mistakes. Also I really should put here a lot of references to the manga or anime but it was something that was piling up for a year and I'm soooooooo lazy. After all, those are just headcanons. Also: Im not excusing Oro's bad stuff here, Im trying to understand the reasons.

Ive already posted some hcs, here, here and here.

1. First if all, the chronology pic of sannin lifetime based on the info i found on naruto wiki and also some statements about wars from this post. It was tough considering what a mess naruto’s chronology is.

2. Sannin story shows what it cost to be a legend. They're like Team 7 but more realistic. Tsunade literally carried the war but left with nothing and developed a ptsd and have problems to just live on. Also anger control issues. I think she can be pretty bossy and stubborn which is not always nice. Jiraiya is the hero of the day but also very idealistic and can ignore some important details in the real word whether its the fight (he always injured during flashbacks maybe because each time he took too much to handle and on the one hand it's heroistic but on the other is a mistake that can lead your team to situations like in that Iwa cave) or your friends issues (I bet he saw what's going on but thought it's fine until Oro actually got red handed and left). He lives in his world and may have problems to get out to see it through someone else's shoes. As for Orochimaru, it seems like he was a normal guy for 20+ years (I mean, he didn't do crazy criminal shit and had something good in him and it was stated somewhere that it was his teammates influence. It is obvious they considered him as a friend, I don't thinks it was for nothing) but we mostly know his darkest side. Despite being a moster he is a human that have empathy and some ordinary human traits (man just decorates every bit of an environment he is in lol).

3. Tsunade was the leader of team Hiruzen.

4. Tsunade sometimes hit Jiraiya for some stupid things he did or said but never touches Orochimaru even if he did something same. Jiraiya complained about it once and almost got another hit.

5. Jiraiya had problematic parents that didn't care about him much and a lot of time he was wandering in the streets.

6. Judging by the look of Oro bangs and hair, he sometimes cut it off. A stress relief huh? And the fact that he doesn't do it now in Boruto..

7. It was shown that Tsunade and Orochimaru was acknowledged before they become a team. Maybe they did just before, or maybe some longer time before. I prefer the second option and hc that they met because both had no real friends - Orochimaru seemed weird and scary for everyone and Tsunade was Senju so everyone wanted to hang out with her but didn't really care. They weren't seen as what they were - people put the labels on them. But they didn't care about each other's labels and actually saw each other in true lights.

8. Tsunade knew it was an accident and it's not right but still she blamed Orochimaru for Nawaki's death for some time. It was something that seriously damaged their friendship and the team. Orochimaru was mad but also guilty, after all, he was responsible at least as a shinobi since Nawaki was under his watch. So he started to act cold and emotionless and was trying to distance himself from his teammates.

9. Jiraiya was in Ame while Dan died.

10. The whole his orphans mission was a bit irresponsible tbh. They already fought Hanzo and as he stated the conflict between Konoha and Ame is going to an end with Konoha's win. It's weird to stay here for three years in the middle of the war while there were other lands to fight. He left his teammates for some idea. Maybe that caused another crack in their team friendship.

11. If Tsunade would have find a way to live on with her trauma and follow the will of fire and stuff it would affect Orochimaru as well just as her grief affected him. It's like he would get an example that you can live on with this pain. So death isn't above human capability and we are not just the slaves of mortality (sounds stupid but i dont know how else to describe sorry). But as we know what he actually saw is that it broke her crucially to the point she couldnt be herself again. And so the death is above everything.

12. Oro wasn’t just acting as a cold pragmatic bitch in that cave but also tried to save Tsunade. Jiraiya knew it and that’s why he showed this sign to him like "I see what youre doing here" and that stunned Oro because he would prefer to look rather like a cold pragmatic bitch hehe

13. Just a thought. People in the village probably treated Oro as a foreigner or just wouldnt accept him because he looked so differently and had a weird attitude. That's why he sometimes didn't feel that Konoha is his home. After the wars where people were treated as means and tools, even the children, he himself developed this view on people - he dehumanized them and used as the means to his goals, just as his village did. Funny thing some people were straightly dehumanizing him too like Ibiki thought that he was a demon (tho he was a child). And he probably weren't the only one. Anyways the point is that it's logical that Orochimaru don't care about anybody but some few people, he's the product of his era. He's like Naruto that would chose the hatred way. But naruto had some good and understanding people around him and.. Orochimaru had them too, but match how Iruka treated Naruto and this Hiruzen's "I sAw tHe mAliCe in This cHiLd fRoM tHe BegGinNinG". And oro didn't even have a big ass evil fox in him. sry i hate hiruzen

ANYWAYS the moral of the story is not "go criminal if they hurt you" but always treat people like people. Waving my hand to Kant.

14. The reason why Orochimaru didn't pick some good morals to stick with through the hard times no matter what (like, idk, Jiraiya or Naruto) is because 1) I think he is/was pretty depending on people around him 2) the war fucked him and his friends up too much (Nawaki incident + Tsunade) 3) twisted addictions (though I don't think he's that sadistic, we never saw him torturing randoms just for fun, it was always some science experimental shit. He tends to get fun out of cruelty only when it's personal) that maybe developed as a way to sublimate anger and sadness caused by his parents loss (that's what they share with sasuke - unlicke naruto, they knew their parents and it's other kind of pain. Sasuke developed a revenge issue and Orochimaru - cruelty pleasure which... is kinda the same but less epic and more occasional lol).

15. Speaking of that, Orochimaru cared for Sasuke because he saw himself in him.

16. Oro hold grudges against Hiruzen for not choosing him to be Hokage not only because he was ambitious and/or egoistic, but also because Hiruzen was some kind of a father figure for him and his approval was important tho i doubt he was aware of that. He also probably could tell that Hiruzen was suspicios about him when he was a child and that led to many conflicts and was hurting as well.

17. Tsunade knew things weren't pretty with Orochimaru after the wars but she never expected them to be this bad. During the week that she was given in her arc she thought not only about how much she wants to see Nawaki and Dan again despite how wrong would it be but also was trying to bury all the good memories she had left of Orochimaru so it would be easier to kill him.

18. She poisoned Jiraiya exactly because she knew he would not let her do it. Jiraiya was always hesitant to kill and inclined to forgiveness, while Tsunade, as mentioned by Orochimaru, could be merciless (so much so that he was not surprised when Kabuto suggested that she wanted to use Jira for Edo Tensei).

19. That was one of her traits that scared Jiraiya and fascinated Orochimaru.

20. Remember how Oro grabbed Jiraiya's neck when the latter was trying to cover with hair jutsu? On the snake, in Tsnade's arc. Orochimaru could have easily kill Jiraiya by pulling the sword out of the mouth (arteries are right there) but he didn't. As well as he could kill Tsunade when she was still shaking - just aim for the neck or the heart. Instead, he just injured her lung and kicked her which is not a big deal for the kind of shinoby like her at all.. Also he helped Anko not accidentally kill herself but it would be way much profitable to let her do it. "Orochimaru has no feelings".

21. The reason he suddenly wanted to kill Tsunade instead of forcing her to heal his arms as it was planned (which is weird since it will not going to get him heals and he kinda said that he wouldn't want to kill her just minutes ago) is that not only she refused to help him (he thought he could work it out) but she also prefered the village over him (from his point of view). Out if everyone she was the closest to being able to understand him since the village caused her painful losses too but nevertheless she agreed to be on it's side.

22. He wasn't fighting her back in the end partly because he thought he deserved that. Somewhere deep inside hahah.

23. Tsunade got a fear to develop deep bonds so they probably weren't very close with Shizune (also the way she knocked her down in this hotel.. oh).

24. Orochimaru will be here when she'll die.

25. Orochimaru's eng dub to Tsunade: "I often wondered what it would be like to ring that pretty neck yours". No comments.

26. Orochimaru is either bi/pan or ace. Anything or nothing lmao

27. Hiruzen knew about at least some of the Oro’s illegal experiments and was okay just as he was okay with the Foundation all the time. Because it’s useful. Then he has discovered he went too far OR he knew everything and oro just became too inconvenient because of his methods. The way Orochimaru tells Sasuke about reasons they are well treated as the criminals is based on in his experience with Hiruzen.

28. As you may know the lyrics in Orochimaru’s music theme goes “don’t talk with the silence of the heart”. It was taken from one Indian song that also had lines like “don’t question life too much”, ”pain arose somewhere in the chest”, “don’t speak to the wounds of the heart”. Though I’m not sure 100% because I was translating it with some hindi dictionary with like zero knowledge of hindi

29. I like to think that this “silence of the heart” theme and the fact that he called his village a hidden sound village are somehow connected. The hidden sound is the possible explanation of all things waiting to be listened to but the truth is silent and you know it deep in your heart and it bothers you. The world is silent just like the life is meaningless but people can only hear. *Sigh* anyways

30. Orochimaru’s journey is the one about accepting death. When he saw Karin released her chains while was trying to get to Sasuke he understood that the death is a part of human’s strength.

Can’t wait to feel that everything I wrote is wrong or not enough or stupid and obvious lol. Anyways, it’s something that I wanted to share until I move to some other fandom.