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randomshipperhere · 3 years ago

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My Top 5 Markiplier Egos

Where I just rant about why I love each one so much at varying degrees.

ISWM Countdown- 5 Days.....

5- Dr. Iplier

I’ve already touched up on this a bit on previous posts for the countdown. The biggest contributor to my adoration for him is his gap moe. Because if we’re just going to look at how he is in Worst News Doctor... ngl I don’t like him that much. He’s one of the bigger non-main egos who actually goes through a character arc of sorts. Dr. Iplier is cool in how he just consistently goes out of his way to say... the worst news possible to his patients before actually giving his diagnosis. How he says it with a straight face. Then there’s another facet where he’s actually seen to be aggressive when his role is threatened, as seen in Markiplier TV when Wilford says “Wilford knows what’s best”. A bit vain but he is proud of his job.

He grows to be a bit more blunt but says rather inaccurate diagnosis in Markiplier TV but when you listen to his dialogue at the end, it just seems like this is what he likes to do. Breaking the bad news to someone even if the situation doesn’t call for it. It’s like those villains who rehearse or get excited while doing their monologues. It’s fucking cute. Then there’s My Therapist and good lord does he look and act different. He’s dressed down, more casual, and a lot more open to talking to the patient. Makes a shit ton of dad jokes. Incredibly dorky and gosh... gap fucking moe alright. I love that shit. He just doesn’t act like how we’ve usually seen him, he’s a lot more relaxed, less rigid and that just adds to his charms.

4- Yancy

I’m pretty sure a lot of fans can understand why we like him. I don’t need to further explain because there’s already a lot of posts out there explaining each and every detail about him that is adorable, interesting, and cute....n dorky...n loveable. Just don’t underestimate his dancing skills. Love you theatre kid.

Higher than Dr. Iplier for the natural dork energy. Lower than top 3 because a lot of his story is laid out for us. 9/10 would give a smooch. Deducted a point for scaring us half to death in the cell.

I’m not gonna expand on why I love him but the way he sang “Break out? of this place?” the way Mark decided on how to deliver those lines and sing them. Shit that’s some good content.

3- The Host

It’s pretty weird that I like this bastard who has less than a minute’s worth of screen time over the 8 or so years of their existence. It’s very hard to explain why I like him so much but I can at least put some of that affection into words. One of the main things I’d say is Danger in Fiction was a really good origin story. We got to see him as the Author who is this temperamental control freak and the contrast of who he used to be to what we know as the calm, collected, possibly omniscient Host is interesting. That transition from A to B is “???” but seeing such a huge change in personality really captured my attention. Danger In Fiction also really made me wish Mark played downright villainous roles more and I beg thee Mr. Markiplier, please play more outright menacing, insane characters. Please be part of a horror movie cast, my fan heart has been wishing for it for so long.

Another reason why I like the Host a lot is his entire look. In the now private video of his first appearance, he is creepy. The dark room whose only light source is from the screen, then seeing this not quite human looking thing with bloody bandages over their eyes moving in an unnatural yet flowy way. That expression on his face that’s somewhere between a neutral position and a slight curve into a smile. I love all of it. He looks and moves like he came out of a horror movie. A similar design I can think of is the Janitor from Little Nightmares.

There’s also his powers. The ability to narrate everything that is going on is so fascinating! Underutilized in canon but it makes for interesting scenarios. We don’t even know the limits of his ability. Does he narrate the most important events in the room? Does he actually have the ability of foresight? IS he omnipotent? Omniscient? Maybe he has control over it or is he a slave to his own powers?

I’m always just so curious about him. What he is, who he used to be, what he could be. He just itches my need for knowledge. Because we don’t know him all that well, our brain is using what info we have to fill in that gap. It’s like playing a puzzle game but for a character. He’s so underappreciated and I can’t help but cry out inside. Incorrect quotes and fanfics set at Markiplier TV HQ are my only hopes of seeing him.

Also god, back in the olden days people were fucking confused whether the Author and The Host were the same people or different. Dark’s fan wikia page even had the Host for his photo. Do you guys remember that? It was the wild west during his time, let me tell ya.

Someone made a post here in tumblr about how some story beats of Danger In Fiction and the whole WKM series is similar and that post got me thinking, u right.

Reason I love the host: It’s the potential

Mark on The Host: He’s a radio host | Who owns him

As a Host fan I’m really sad we most likely won’t ever see him become a fully fleshed character in canon but we can still have fun with our fanfics. It still hurts though.

2- Damien

I will never get over how much this man deserved the world and more. He’s such a fine piece of work and if you’re in the Markiplier fandom, and you don’t like him, even just a bit, what is wrong with you.

Mark has created an angel. A beautiful ray of sunshine. Our bouncing baby boy. He is beauty, he is grace, and he is the first Y/N stan in this household. Kind, compassionate, a natural born leader, he has so many good qualities and I’m blinded thinking about how good he is. How happy he is to see us, an old friend. How he is willing to stake his life for our, and William’s innocence. He’s just so humane, so grounded and I have hearts in my eyes, oh wow.

Can we talk about his fit? This mayor is wearing a clean and well fitted suit, the slicked back hair, the stylish cane he brings around, a flower, and a comically cute mayor pin. He looks so clean and a little bit goofy with the pin. He deadass makes me do that giggle when you have a cute crush on someone.

Talked a bit about his personality earlier but I really love just how cute his overall vibe is. Warm, gentle, compassionate. An altruistic and noble fella. Damien is like a steady rock, the calm before a storm. He makes you feel grounded in the whirlwind mess that is the Manor. The way that he cares until the bitter end. He is too good to be true. All of who he is can be explained in 5 words “Life is ours to choose”. I may be romanticizing him too much but shush. Let me have this. Even with all the things I said, I really like his unexpected traits. Like him being a confused mess and a party animal.

Can I also say how dare you Mark. So many of the scenes involving him are in bright places and in incredibly romantic aesthetically pleasing places (referring to romanticism, not to a romantic relationship). So much of the initial attraction viewers feel is based on the places you meet him solo. The second floor hallway near the stairs with the bright light, the dark pavilion contrasted with the light stairway railing, and outside walking with him along the vivid silver, yellows, and whites surrounding you. Intentional or not it makes me punch the air because he’s just so loveable.

Then there’s his place in the storyline. How tragic it is for someone so far away from this mess yet so intertwined with it became a villain without having a choice in the matter. Friends with the Colonel and Actor, younger brother of the Seer. The only one of the four not part of the messy love that the others are in. The one who still tries to connect with the three after all that’s happened even if the others don’t want to make up. Lost his friends, lost his own body. Confused, angry, and yet... he still wants to do what he believes is right. For the greater good. The end justifies the means. He makes it way too easy to forgive him even after what he did to us. Even if he isn’t as pure as the driven snow...

I do love myself some tragic characters. Ones that the fans are like “They didn’t deserve this!” but then again... do any of the main characters deserved their fates?

10/10 would smooch and marry. Best boyfriend material among them. He and the DA would’ve made for an amazing and cute power couple.

Before we get to my number one let’s list down the Honorable Mentions:

Googleiplier: Actually before the existence of AHWM, he was in my top 5. and before ADWM he was my number one. I kid you not I have an unfinished fanfic of him somewhere. Times have changed bud. I still love your deadpan comedy. “so if you could take some of these” *flips Bing off* “and go away”. Technically Dr. Iplier and him are both my #5 but Dr. was just very slightly higher than Googs.

Yandereiplier: Hey, I had a very huge yandere character obsession phase at the time (it mellowed out over the years but I still like the archetype) plus the red hair, plus the seifuku. Once again, a character that used to be in my top 5 before ADWM.

Actor! Mark: I was never a huge fan of him but I really liked him. He has red as his colors and I am naturally attracted to this (red and black always get me) so that was a bonus point. I love charismatic (maybe even an asshole) villains, even if you don’t think he is, Actor is. I also love underappreciated, and misunderstood characters.

There’s also the possibility of his character arc branching out into absolute bastard or possibly redeemed villain. That’s appealing. Whether he is sincere or not in the ADWM & AHWM series is always something you can debate but I find it fascinating how some fans allow certain egos to willingly manipulate them but not Actor. Story wise, as the viewer, he really doesn’t do anything directly to us in WKM, any hate towards him is because of outside info. But to our character, he didn’t do anything to rouse our ire. And while I am ranting about him like this, to the point where you might think why isn’t he in the top 5 well... You can rant a lot about a character you don’t necessarily love y’know? I just find him really REALLY fascinating. Dr. Iplier is close to being dethroned depending on how Actor will portray himself in ISWM.

2 of 3 of the honorable mentions are closely tied to the color red lol.

And considering my type in this list... number one goes to

Darkiplier

I uhh... got super embarrassed after I wrote like a 2k+ word count thing for him and went back and forth between keeping it up or not but if you want to go and read it go over here [I love Dark maybe a bit too much].

It got personal. Eheh....

TL;DR

Dr Iplier- contradictory characteristics very cool

Yancy- I love him your honor

The Host- lots of underutilized character potential that will never see the light of day

Damien- he’s an angel and maybe I shouldn’t see him that way but I can’t help it

Dark- it’s a complicated and long commitment relationship. Stupidly hot non-human ugh.

#markiplier #markiplier egos #reading the tags will be a spoiler but if you've been reading my posts for a while some of these bitches won't even be a surprise #yeah I'm just trying to lengthen these so it would turn into...#last warning #ISWM countdown #text post #dr. iplier #ahwm yancy #the host #wkm damien #googleiplier #yandereiplier #darkiplier #actor mark #wkm mark

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veliseraptor · 4 years ago

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Okay I'm new to this fandom and I'm a bit confused. Did Xue Yang and Meng Yao know each other? Did Meng Yao free him?👀Do xue yang know he has a parentage that dabbled in demonic cultivation?

congratulations, anon! you have hit the nail on the head of one of my perennial aggravations about cql-canon specific details, which is to say ‘what the hell is the deal supposed to be with meng yao and xue yang in qinghe?’

there is no real indication that they might have known each other except some meaningful side-eyes going on that don’t make a lot of sense in context other than, maybe, pre-flagging the idea that meng yao is ~problematic~ and ~untrustworthy~ I guess? (which, ask me how I feel about the idea that everything jin guangyao does forever is bad and sinister, regardless of timeline, effect, or motivation). but there’s no real, substantive indication (up until the empathy flashback in ep 41, I’ll get there) that they are familiar with each other, or that they actually do any collaborating at that point.

you could definitely headcanon them as knowing each other previously based on the fact that they both grew up in less than ideal circumstances, shall we say, but I don’t think there’s any evidence for it in-text other than aforementioned meaningful side-eyes. in fact, canonically we know where they both grew up locationwise and it wasn’t in the same place. but like, seriously.

(and holy shit this got long, I’ll spare you all with a read more. also: I have broken my usual ‘referring to jin guangyao as jin guangyao always’ rule for the sake of this post given that it is specifically about the era where he is going by meng yao, but it did feel really weird.)

speaking specifically with what we see in text (in episode 10), we see meng yao argue against executing xue yang, but only after wei wuxian has done so first. the next explicit link between them is when meng yao leaves the fight between wen zhuliu and nie mingjue saying that he’s going to go check on xue yang; following that, we’re told that xue yang has escaped and meng yao claims he saw the captain free him.

which is, considering the fact that he’s killing the captain at the time, a highly suspect statement to make.

there’s no reason for meng yao to be working with xue yang at this point! there’s just not! it doesn’t make sense for him even from a purely self-interested standpoint and, again, at this point in canon there’s no actual reason to believe that they have any prior familiarity.

(’but lise what about the flashback-’ yes I’ll get there.)

if you want my personal reading, which I think is compatible with the text as we see it, it goes like this:

1. xue yang quickly notices meng yao as a potentially interesting person. I don’t think it’s about seeing him as an ally or knowing him from anything beforehand - I think it’s about seeing him as interesting and kind of funny.

2. meng yao registers that there’s a distinct possibility of nie mingjue dying and/or the wen sect attacking the nie in force and decides to short-circuit that by just freeing xue yang himself, because he knows nie mingjue won’t do it but if xue yang’s gone then that (at least temporarily) solves their wen problem.

my evidence for this is based around the timing of when meng yao leaves to “check on” xue yang (mid-fight, specifically after wen zhuliu, inarguably a greater threat, takes over from wen chao), the fact that he looks definitely concerned when he does so, and the fact that, given where he is at this point, letting xue yang out otherwise makes no sense.

this does not strike me as the face of a person who is a-plottin some sinister business, and this isn’t a face he’s making at anyone, either; this is pure ‘ah fuck this ain’t good’ expression.

(yes, yes, I know, episode 41 flashback, I told you that we’d get there.)

3. meng yao frees xue yang, probably hoping he can make it as bloodless as possible; xue yang, in xue yang fashion, makes it as bloody as possible; meng yao sees his chance to do something about the guy he has always hated and who has repeatedly undermined him, and who probably also caught him in the middle of an incriminating action that nie mingjue would absolutely not accept as justifiable.

4. xue yang bounces, leaving jin guangyao caught holding the sword and surrounded by several dead bodies.

and then they don’t see each other again until xue yang ends up at jinlintai at some unspecified point down the timeline.

regarding the episode 41 flashback (see? I promised!), the view we get of meng yao talking with an unspecified person heavily implied to be xue yang doesn’t make sense in some very critical ways that also align with the selective editing that nie mingjue’s memories seem to have done on incidents we previously saw from a (presumably) omniscient perspective. many people other than me (see here, here, and here for some examples) have written eloquently about the disparities between the scenes as we see them in earlier episodes compared to what we see in the flashback, and how that suggests at least some unreliability of nie mingjue’s memories despite their presentation, since they are visually coeval with the rest of canon, as equally reliable.

(what would be different if the empathy flashbacks were in some way visually demarcated, I wonder? it’s a thought. I like that they’re not because unreliability of narrative/narrator is such a theme, but.)

ANYWAY, regarding the section where we see that conversation between the captain and meng yao, now with bonus mysterious feet (implied to be xue yang) - a few things stand out to me.

one: nie mingjue has no way of having seen this - no personal access to what he’s supposedly seeing in his own memory. this suggests the possibility, at least, that this is a fabricated assumption of a memory. (”I believe this happened, and this is how I would reconstruct it happening.”)

two: possibly more significantly: the scene as played here doesn’t fit with canon as we see it in episode 10 itself. the scene with the captain and meng yao, as we see it earlier, includes here several additional lines of dialogue. considering the other discrepancies within the empathy flashback with previously seen canon, episode ten’s version, by virtue of not taking place within a (flashback of a) flashback and within the pov of an extremely biased character, could be read as more reliable.

see also: the flashback with the captain seeing meng yao talking to someone (implied to be xue yang) is placed directly after nie mingjue accuses meng yao of plotting with xue yang - an accusation he doesn’t make in the scene as it originally plays in episode 10. this is another place where there are several lines of dialogue that weren’t present in the earlier version of the scene, inserted apparently seamlessly into the record.

taken together, with the above where it does not make sense to me that meng yao was ~plotting~ with xue yang prior to freeing him as a way of getting the wens off nie mingjue’s back, I’m inclined to think that moment in the episode 41 flashback is a nie mingjue-generated presumption of what must have happened, rather than a factual account of what did.

meng yao’s choices in episode 10 make much more sense - as someone who, if nothing else, is definitely interested in preserving his position as part of the nie sect, but who also values nie mingjue’s life at that point enough to take a sword to the chest for him - if you don’t take that at face value.

regarding the second part of your question about the xue yang/xue chonghai connection - cql seems to indicate that he has some awareness maybe, based on his conversation with wei wuxian in episode 37? at least, he has access to Lore involving the yin iron that others were unaware of

and had one piece in his possession apparently pre-canon.

but honestly that’s a bit of cql canon that I pretty much ignore completely and sometimes forget about, though there are certainly interesting things that can be done with it.

#anonymous #conversating #lise does meta #the sad queer cultivators show #xue yang #jin guangyao #sorry this took so long anon but perhaps seeing the above you can understand why

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h0neyd3w-tea · 3 years ago

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Your Orange Light fan-fiction is fantastic. 10/10. I’m hooked, and I’m so excited for the next chapter now that there are new characters introduced in the storyline.

If you don’t mind me asking, did you already have a specific kind of vampire in mind for your Orange Light universe? Did you have any inspiration for your version of vampires? Your vampires seem quite feline-like, especially with the slitted eyes, which is a super cool addition to them. I’ve noticed so far that they have heightened senses, they can smell other vampires, they’re immortal, they have venom, they’re possessive and territorial, they have increased abilities such as inhuman speed, strength, grace/reflexes, etc., they can’t be out in the sunlight for too long, they can drink other liquids besides blood yet can’t digest food, their hearts stop beating after some time, some have their own unique abilities such as Wilbur’s mind controlling, their bodies run colder…they seem to have a hierarchy and familial bond in each Coven, similar to a pack of wolves, and silver can harm them…

I’m assuming they’re nocturnal as well? And that they can sniff out their prey? Do they have vampiric beauty to lure in their prey? How far away do they have to be to catch the scent of/hear someone or something? Are certain vampires far more…unhinged when it comes to the sight or scent of blood? Stuff like that. Or are these traits something we have to discover for ourselves and you’d rather not spill the beans?

I apologize if this comes off as an inconvenience. I’ve always been into vampires and each author’s version of their own vampires, so I’m, like, all into it. But once again, 10/10! You’re very talented! I never get disinterested in rereading each chapter and I’m excited to see what you have in store for it.

Aaaa, thank you!! ^^

I'll be completely honest with you, I had only the barest of ideas of what kind of vampires I wanted when I started.

I won't lie, while I was a big twilight fan when that came out, one thing I remember being disappointed about was the non-existent focus on vampires and their typical behavior beyond feeding and such. I wish I got to know more about their lifestyles, how they've lived alongside humans throughout history, and how that's affected their lives.

Therefore, I base a lot of my vampires' history and tendencies on what I feel is reasonable. Humans were originally nomadic, therefore I assume vampires must've originally been so as well, following the early humans from a distance either alone or with a Changeling. Then humans began to settle down, presumably, vampires would have to do the same.

And so on so forth.

I make a point to say that things changed during the first human and vampire war that occurred about 200 years ago in the story. Bigger Covens were unheard of before then, and Techno even says in the apartment that most vampire terms were made up by humans that vampires just rolled with, because there were no general terms to describe them and their behavior before then.

This decision was made on an assumption from the little knowledge I have from biology class, that predators can never outnumber the prey, and that the most desirable existence is a well-balanced symbiosis. The older, and therefore "superior" vampires, know this. It's the life they grew up with, it's more or less what they aspire to have, and do have in some cases. That's why enslaving and creating a global human farm, which is a semi-normal vampire troupe, would never happen in Orange Light. Like, they prefer free-range chicken over the more industrial chicken farms.

It wasn't really my intention to make my vampires big cats in humanoid bodies, but I do fully acknowledge that it's what happened.

I scored very low in science and biology, but I'm weird and have to justify every choice I make. Exhibit 1; vampires aren't actually dead. There's something in their blood that takes over both the heart's and stomach's job, keeping the blood flowing and replenishing. Which is the reason to why my vampires can't eat anything too rich in fiber and nutrition, there's nothing that can break it down anymore. The vampire blood can only get what it needs from human blood, taking all the necessary stuff from it.

As for what they can do... Well. I've made them quite overpowered. Your recollection of their abilities is accurate, however, it doesn't mean that they're omniscient. I haven't explicitly said so, but I personally think that they enter some kind of feeding frenzy they hunt. Having heightened senses and such can be great when hunting a human in a forest, but I can't help but think it'd be a pain to walk around in a busy city with heightened hearing and sense of smell and such. Therefore, I imagine that those are more often tuned down unless they're trying to search for something.

The abilities are rare, mostly because I have no idea how to balance it if they weren't, but also because I think superpower aus can easily get too complicated and therefore boring. My take on these powers is that vampires who might be inferior in a physical battle and with a strong talent or inclination for something, might develop a supernatural power connected to that ability or tendency.

Ex: Wilbur can charm people, because he's always been a smooth talker. And that, combined with his inferior physique and the devil's luck, gave him his ability. It's limited, and would not be effective on a battlefield, but it's still op as fuck.

Vampires are mainly nocturnal, yes, but as hinted at in the earlier chapters, some of the older ones need close to no sleep at all. I don't know about any vampiric beauty, other than I guess that people would be attracted to clear skin, healthy hair, clean clothes, and self-assuredness which most vampires have. I don't really know how to make it an enchanting thing really, it's more about how smooth the vampire in question is.

Vampires are probably more often than not crazy according to human standards, they have different priorities, different norms, and views on what is and isn't acceptable. It's like a different culture than I have just the barest of understanding of.

Thank you so much for this ask, it was incredibly lovely, even though I ended up rambling more than I wish I did. You asked a lot of great questions that I probably will and have alluded to more than said outright. I'm really happy that you took the time to write such a nice ask, and actually ask these questions. I prefer to write as if we're on the outside looking in, and while that's great for its mysteriousness, it can be a bit messy to understand fully. :)

Again, thank you so much, I hope I didn't forget to answer something but feel free to yell at me if I did! :D<3

#ask response #Orange Light (Painted by Morning Sun)

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grailfinders · 4 years ago

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Fate and Phantasms #91: Ryougi Shiki (Saber)

Today on Fate and Phantasms we’re going a bit out of our way to an entirely different Nasuverse production, Kara no Kyoukai, to build the mysterious 『Ryougi Shiki』, a.k.a. Void Shiki, a.k.a. Ryougi Shiki (Saber)! Shiki is the host personality of both Shiki and Shiki, and due to her connection with the Root, is effectively omniscient and omnipotent. She’s trying to keep her potence down to what a servant could do at the moment, so don’t expect a power build.

Check out Shiki’s build breakdown below the cut, or her character sheet over here!

Next up: Second verse, surprisingly different from the first.

Race and Background

Shiki is obviously a human, but she’s a human implanted with an additional personality as well as the origin of 「　」, so you’re probably closer to a Kalashtar. I would’ve thought “person with an extradimensional intelligence inside of them” would be a bit niche, but I guess I was wrong. Regardless, you get +2 Wisdom and +1 Charisma. Your Dual Mind gives you advantage on all Wisdom saves, your Mental Discipline gives you resistance to psychic damage, and you can use your Mind Link to speak to a creature within ten times your level in feet telepathically, provided they understand a language. This is a great way to get around that pesky language barrier. You can also spend an action to give a creature the ability to speak back telepathically for up to an hour, and you can only give one creature this ability at a time.

Finally, as a Kalashtar you are Severed from Dreams; you sleep, but don’t dream, so spells like Dream don’t work on you.

As the most reclusive of Shiki’s personalities, and the one with the greatest knowledge of the universe, you’re a shoe-in as a Hermit. This gives you Medicine and Religion proficiency, as well as a great secret of the world chosen by your DM.

Ability Scores:

Put your highest score into Wisdom, you’re literally omniscient and it’s a more useful ability score than Intelligence. Second is Dexterity- you move faster than most people can see, and you’re really handy with a sword. Third is Intelligence, because you’re still omniscient. Your Charisma isn’t that high, but we won’t be using it for much besides multiclassing anyway. Your Constitution is also pretty low, we just needed other stuff more. Finally, dump Strength. You don’t really get out much- it’s hard to go to the gym when you’re letting someone else run your body.

Class Levels

1. Monk 1: Your power comes more from your knowledge of other’s lines of death and your skill rather than brute force, so we’re going Monk instead of Fighter. It’s also way easier to fight in a Kimono this way, thanks to your Unarmored Defense giving you an AC of 10 + your Dexterity mod + your Wisdom mod. You also gain Martial Arts, making the minimum damage you can do with a monk weapon or your fist 1d4. You can also make an unarmed strike as a bonus action, and you can use Dexterity instead of Strength when attacking with a monk weapon or unarmed strike.

You also have proficiency in Strength and Dexterity saves, as well as Acrobatics and History. You’re nimble and know everything, a powerful combo.

2. Monk 2: Second level monks learn how to use Ki points to dash, disengage, dodge, or make two unarmed blows as a bonus action. You also get Unarmored Movement, helping you move 10′ faster when not wearing armor. New to Tasha’s you can also use a Dedicated Weapon with your martial arts, picking a non-heavy, non-special weapon to use as a monk weapon at the end of a long rest. We’re still not proficient with a long-sword yet, so we can’t quite use it yet, but we’ll get there.

3. Sorcerer 1: We’re popping into sorcerer for a bit to awaken your Aberrant Mind, letting you cast Spells using your Charisma as the casting ability and also make Telepathic Speech. You can use your bonus action to link yourself with another creature nearby. Afterwards, for a number of minutes equal to your sorcerer level you can speak telepathically with them as long as they’re within a number of miles equal to your Charisma modifier. The bond lasts a number of minutes equal to your sorcerer level, and only one creature can be affected by it at once. It might be technically possible for something to run over a mile away in less than a minute, but that seems like an edge case. It’s a bit confusing, but this telepathy has a longer range than your other telepathy, at the cost of lasting a shorter time.

For your spells, pick up Message for yet another way to speak to your party, Dancing Lights, Light, Sleep, and Minor Illusion for some dreamlike effects, and False Life to turn your magical energy into your lifeforce.

The aberrant mind is especially useful because you also get some Psionic Spells for free. At first level you get Arms of Hadar, Dissonant Whispers, and Mind Sliver. Most of those aren’t that close to what you need though, so thankfully you can also replace one of these spells with any divination or enchantment spell of the same level from the sorcerer, warlock, or wizards spell lists. So let’s toss out Dissonant Whispers and replace it with Identify; you know literally everything, including what the cool magical artifact you just found is.

4. Sorcerer 2: Second level sorcerers are a Font of Magic, giving you Sorcery Points equal to your level that you can spend to regain spell slots now, or other neat effects later. Speaking of spells, pick up Shield for more AC- it’s not that in-character, but we needed something replaceable for later. You should also replace Arms of Hadar with Detect Magic to further expand your omniscience.

5. Sorcerer 3: Third level sorcerers learn two Metamagic options to enhance their spells. Distant Spell lets you double a spell’s range or turn a touch spell into a 30′ range, very useful for extending your spying spells even further. You also pick up Subtle Spell, which eliminates the need for verbal or somatic components. You don’t use magic to learn things, you just know, that means you shouldn’t let anyone catch you casting.

You also grab 2nd level spells this level: Magic Weapon lets you slice though lines of death instead of flesh to avoid resistances and deal a little more damage. You also get the psionic spells Calm Emotions and Detect Thoughts. We don’t really need to calm people down though, so replace that right away with Locate Object so you’ll never lose your car keys again.

6. Sorcerer 4: Use your first Ability Score Improvement to grab the Weapon Master feat, bumping up your Dexterity and also giving you proficiency in four weapons, including the Long-sword.

You also grab True Strike, because it’s hard to dodge an attack when you can’t even see what it’s aiming for, Mind Spike for more psychic damage and omniscience, and replace Shield with Shadow Blade for a more magical monk weapon as well.

7. Monk 3: Speaking of monk stuff, let’s head back there for our subclass. Monks that follow the Way of the Long Death study death and incorporate their findings into their martial arts, and it’s really easy to study death when you’re able to see it in person. When you take the subclass, you learn the Touch of Death, gaining temporary hp when you reduce a creature’s HP to 0 within 5′ of yourself. You can also Deflect Missiles to reduce incoming damage or throw it back at them for a ki point.

8. Monk 4: Use this ASI to round out your Dexterity and Wisdom for a better AC and better swordplay. You can also Slow Fall to reduce your falling damage by five times your monk level, or use Quickened Healing to turn your Ki points into health based on your martial arts die and your proficiency bonus.

9. Monk 5: At fifth level, your Martial Arts grows to a d6, and you can make an Extra Attack with each attack action. You can also make a Stunning Strike with your melee attack, spending a ki point to force a constitution save (DC 8 + your wisdom modifier + your proficiency modifier) against being stunned.

10. Monk 6: Sixth level monks can make Ki-Empowered Strikes, making your unarmed attacks magical. It’s not incredibly useful, since you could already magic up your sword, but hey, now you can save a spell slot. You can also signal the Hour of Reaping as an action, frightening everything within 30′ of you that fails a wisdom saving throw. You’re an omniscient swordswoman who can see the death of all things, and may or may not even exist. That’s pretty scary.

You also get an extra 5′ of movement. It’s not quite as scary, but still pretty useful.

11. Sorcerer 5: Fifth level sorcerers can use the new Magical Guidance, spending a sorcery point to re-roll a failed ability check. You know everything, so you should succeed at everything; that’s why it’s so boring.

For spells, you get Haste as your normal spell for doubled speed, +2 AC, an extra action per turn, and advantage on dexterity saves. You’re fast, what can I say. You also get new Psionic Spells, Hunger of Hadar and Sending. You have plenty of ways to speak your mind already, but let’s replace Hunger of Hadar with Clairvoyance for more all-knowing goodness, letting you place a sensor in a location you’ve been before or an obvious place you haven’t been, like around a corner. You can see or hear through the sensor, but not both at once.

12. Sorcerer 6: Sixth level Aberrant Minds get Psionic Sorcery; you can now cast Psionic Spells either by using a spell slot or by spending sorcery points equal to its level. Doing the latter lets you cast it without verbal, somatic, or unconsumed material components. You also have Psychic Defenses, giving you resistance to psychic damage and advantage on saves against being charmed or frightened. This almost entirely overlaps with the Kalashtar abilities you got at level 1, but who knows, maybe there’s a weird spell out there that charms with a constitution save.

For your spell, Blink loosens your grip on this reality, causing you to blink out of existence at the end of your turn if you roll eleven or higher on a d20. At the start of your turns and the end of the spell, you blink back into reality for more fighting. It lasts up to a minute, and isn’t concentration, so pair it with your favorite buff to really become a frightening anomaly.

13. Sorcerer 7: Seventh level sorcerers get fifth level spells, like Far Step, which gives you the cool anime-level speed we’ve been looking for. As a bonus action each turn the spell is up, you can teleport up to 60′ away for speed so blinding people literally can’t see you do it. You also get Evards Black Tentacles and Summon Aberration as Psionic Spells. Neither are in-character, so replace the one you’ll use less with Arcane Eye for one last way to learn things you shouldn’t. This spell creates a magical sensor within 30′ of you, but you can move it as an action with no limit to how far it can go.

14. Monk 7: We’re done switching around classes now; back in Monk, you learn Evasion, which gives you half damage on failed dexterity saves and no damage on successes when you’re trying to avoid damage. Your connection to the Void also gives you Stillness of Mind, letting you end a charming or frightening effect as an action.

15. Monk 8: Pick up the Tough feat for 2 extra HP per level- you’re a monk and your constitution is bad, you’ll really want this.

16. Monk 9: At ninth level you can run over liquid or up walls thanks to your Unarmored Movement Improvement. Just be sure to end your turn somewhere solid.

17. Monk 10: Tenth level monks have a Purity of Body, making them immune to diseases and poisons. You don’t have to deal with poison, Shiki does. You should probably apologize to her one of these days. You also get another 5′ of extra movement, because why not.

18. Monk 11: Eleventh level Long Death monks have a Mastery of Death; when you would hit 0 hp, you can instead spend a Ki point to stay at 1 hp instead. You’re pretty hard to kill, which is just as well- I don’t want to force your DM to have to figure out what happens when the origin of the universe dies. Also, your Martial Arts increases to a d8, for stronger unarmed attacks and more healing.

19. Monk 12: Use your last ASI on more Dexterity for a higher AC and more deadly weapon.

20. Monk 13: Your capstone feature is the Tongue of the Sun and Moon, letting you understand and be understood by anything that speaks a language. I’m almost getting tired of saying this, but you’re omnipotent; Duolingo should be pretty easy by now.

Pros:

You have 50′ of movement normally, the ability to dash or teleport as a bonus action, and access to the haste spell. You’re pretty goddamn mobile, is what I’m trying to say. And unlike a lot of these builds, you can run straight up walls and teleport into the air, so vertical mobility isn’t that much of an issue for you. As long as you don’t mind falling.

You have plenty of options to heal yourself, and you have to die almost a dozen times before you actually stay down. As befitting of The Thing the Universe Is Recorded On, you’re pretty hard to kill.

You’re not as omniscient as you should be, but you’re still really good at learning things you shouldn’t. With plenty of divination spells that you can cast subtly, you’ll be able to spy on events without anyone knowinng you were ever there.

Cons:

A lot of your buffs and divination spells require concentration, which would be annoying enough even if your constitution wasn’t bad in the first place.

Your best way at dealing with flying enemies is to throw yourself into the air and hope you land okay. I mean you’re a high level monk, so it’s not that big an issue, but it’s still not dignified.

This build is a little bit complicated, with different kinds of points to keep track of. Have fun keeping your sorcery points, spell slots, and ki points all straight.

#fgo #fate grand order #D&D 5e #void shiki #Fate and Phantasms

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kinomiakai · 4 years ago

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do you have any tips on writing sasuke and naruto? specifically things like inner thoughts and dialogue?

Oh!!! This is such a cool question, thank you so much anon. This...actually got really, really long, but I hope it’s actually helpful!! This is just the way I write them, so take everything I say with a grain of salt!!

I’ll put it under a read more because it got so long haha :)

General advice:

For dialogue, generally, I feel like what actually helped me a ton was when I had to transcribe a bunch of interviews for school. You have to include everything, the body language, the ums, the stutters - so I’d actually really recommend trying that? Ideally finding something that isn’t edited, like a livestream or something, and trying to write down a few minutes of what the person says perfectly. It’s actually really, really hard!! Your brain automatically deletes the repetitions and stutters and spare words, so forcing yourself to identify them really helps with figuring out how people talk and writing more realistic dialogue. An example would be something like:

“I went to the—like the—the, um, ba—the store in the back alley, you know?”

(Things in there: (1) repetitions of “the”, (2) people say “like” a lot and your brain tends to delete that, (3) same with ums/uhs/other noises of thought, and (4) the way your brain can skip ahead to the next out-of-order word and you back up and go back to finish the thought. That happens a lot!)

You do have to balance it with readability, I find, because some people stutter a lot (especially if they’re in thought), but writing it all out like that really helped me learn how people talk, so I really recommend it!! I think if you can hear their voice saying it in your head, you’re on the right track.

For things like inner thoughts, it’s…sort of like dialogue, but less restrained. Inner thoughts are really fun because you not only get to play with being an unreliable narrator, but you also get to have people’s thoughts betray themselves. You can control your thoughts, but only to some extent, so something I really like to play with is cutting off a thought that’s about too admit something the character isn’t ready to admit (but something that they know, deep down). Like:

“Of course, his shirt did…smell nice. Like him. And there was something warm and settling about being here. Not that—not that this felt like home, or anything, it was just nice, and comfortable, and he just wasn’t used to these sorts of things so of course he—

He shook his head.

Never mind. He ought to get out of here anyway.”

Inner thoughts also are fun to tell a bit of a story with. You can contradict yourself or correct yourself, and a metaphor can sort of change the more the character things about it. Your writing doesn’t have to be perfect because thoughts really aren’t—but they will probably be real run-on sentences hahaha. Dashes and commas everywhere!!! The thoughts never end!!

Character-specific advice:

A big part of how I write Sasuke and Naruto depends on the AU it is set in. I’ll write generally about canon here, but obviously things change if Sasuke grew up with a family, if Naruto got some therapy - they might be more in tune with their emotions, they might be more explicit about the way they feel or more honest. A good example of this is in Something Good, where Sasuke is much more honest about himself and emotions and all that than he would be in canon—this is really only because he had Itachi and actually got help for his trauma. This effects Naruto a lot in AUs too because he doesn’t always have the same tendency to really repress himself, the way he does in canon. So you actually have a lot of wiggle room, as long as you’re focusing on the way your characters have lived until they got to this point.

Another bit to think about: my ability to really delve into character’s heads comes from the fact that I write Third Person Limited, which is third person but in specific perspectives as opposed Third Person Omniscient, which has the sort of free-floating narrator where you can be in everyone’s heads all at once, so it will definitely read differently.

For Naruto:

Naruto speaks more casually:

He swears more, but not as much as Kiba

He tends to slur some words together, saying things like kinda and gotcha and sorta where Sasuke wouldn’t

Where Sasuke might say something like “this was certainly…powerful” Naruto would say something like “this was real fucking strong!!!’

More exclamation marks, more straightforward, more sort of loud?? Types of thought and dialogue???

Naruto is grammatically incorrect! Spell check is often angry with me about this

Naruto will be the first to notice something is wrong with someone else and spend loads of time thinking and assessing it

Naruto will be the last person to acknowledge and assess something that is wrong with himself

His head is pretty straight forward, he’s less likely to use metaphors and flowery comparisons to describe things

E.g. Sasuke’s eyes were just—weird. Like the could see right through you, right into you—Naruto felt like some part of him needed to hide, because if he kept looking for a second longer Sasuke would know everything—

He looked away.

He tends to repeat himself and not really describe the way he feels, because he doesn’t really understand it. This also goes for positive emotions!! There is a lot of “huh I felt something. Anyway,” with Naruto dfsfs

Naruto expresses a lot of affection by doing stuff for people - this expands past Sasuke, but can come back to bite him. He’s eager to say yes to favours but this links back to him putting others before himself/wanting everyone to love him

For Sasuke:

Sasuke speaks more formally, but not as formal as Itachi

Also mostly grammatically correct, uses mostly full punctuation in text messages (Itachi uses full punctuation, Naruto is probably all chatspeak but I write it as partial chatspeak to make it easier to read)

Sasuke’s head will run away with itself all the time

He’s quite poetic and romantic, he’ll speak in much more metaphors

E.g. “Naruto’s eyes were like the sky. Like breathing in the air after it rained—when it was cool and crisp and alive, when the world awoke again after it had all been grey. Something in Sasuke certainly felt…alive.”

Sasuke’s more of an asshole

He’s sarcastic and sort of eyeroll-y at lots of stuff, including himself and his own thoughts. He tends to be more pessimistic and negative, too!

Exception: Naruto. Naruto is amazing and Sasuke secretly believes he can do literally anything. He will NEVER say it out loud unless Naruto forces him out of it (read: in moments where Naruto is being negative/down on himself/being out character in a way that Sasuke feels like he’s a bit scared and needs to shake him with something honest and true) but he will say it in his own head because he can’t control that. Take that, Sasuke

He can be real judgy—e.g. in Enter Naruto where he calls Itachi’s coat pretentious.

He can be even more judgy about himself. He’s pretty hard on himself and will frequently put himself down in his thoughts, which he thinks about as factual statements

E.g. “nothing compared to his brother, of course, but Itachi was perfect and Sasuke was still...just himself.

Now if only his father could realize that, too.”

E.g. “And Naruto looked at him as if it was true, but Sasuke knew it wasn’t. Sasuke had chosen this path, and he’d walked down it. Naruto seemed to think he could simply turn around, but Sasuke…knew better.”

He speaks less, which is helped by the fact that you can totally call him out if you’re writing his POV, or you can use Naruto to call him out because Naruto knows him like the back of his hand

His affection is more quiet?? More nonverbal, in general, than Naruto’s. Not that Naruto is like super good at expressing himself either but he will get closer than Sasuke will out loud

That said, Sasuke is really fun to write as not being able to control the way he seeks Naruto out, through small intimate actions like folding his clothes or wanting to spar or sitting just a little too close to Naruto on the couch. Sort of partially unconscious expressions of love - Sasuke is all over those. (He doesn’t have to be, but it’s really fun to write him that way; you all know how I love writing deeply-in-love Sasuke)

Their fatal flaws when it comes to writing Third Person Limited: both of these assholes are really unlikely to comment on specific details, so you’re gonna have to write from somebody else’s POV if you really want to hit home about how cute Sakura’s new outfit looks. You’re only gonna get to describe it if she’s like...asking Naruto about it in some way, or if Sasuke is being a judgy dick about it or something shfsdkhfd

BUT, they will notice those things about each other, especially if they are in love or are starting to fall, and it’s one of those quiet little ways you can play with to make their emotions evident.

I feel like I could actually keep going about all this but this is SO LONG and I might start repeating myself, so I’ll stop here. Thank you for the ask, anon, I hope it was helpful!!! It was fun to answer :)

#asks #anon #writing stuff #writing advice #kinomi talks #text post #long post

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ernmark · 3 years ago

Text

Writer Tag Game

I got tagged by @sapphosewrites. Thank you! I'm a sucker for these~

If you want to do this too, just go ahead and pretend I tagged you. But also, I'm tagging @ryosei-hime, @dangersocks and @alecjmarsh because reasons.

How many works do you have on AO3?

112, though I'm very early in the process of importing my old ff.net stuff.

What's your total AO3 word count?

749,450

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Haunting, but not haunted (The Penumbra Podcast), The Issue of Omniscience (Welcome to Night Vale), Just Like an Angel (Welcome to Night Vale), The Case Files of J. Steel (The Penumbra Podcast), Skin and Scales (The Penumbra Podcast)

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I'm trying to be better about it, but generally I don't. I'm just a socially awkward person, and I feel like I'm being inane when I just reply "thank you" when I have nothing more interesting to say, or when answering the question would be a spoiler for what happens next. But honestly, most of the time I have nothing more interesting to say.

But I'm a sucker for comments.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Define angsty. Because we have some categories:

Character dies and there's nothing you can do about it (angsty, but in the direction of bittersweet) :

Stay with me (Wolf 359 (Radio)), For King and Country (Welcome to Night Vale), The way things end (Supernatural), Off the path (BioShock Infinite)

I've fucking given up on good things, especially you: (I think these are darker)

Hell is Cold (Supernatural), Blood Moon (10th Kingdom), Like a terrier (Sherlock (TV))

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

...I mean, if it doesn't have an angsty ending it probably has a happy one?

Most of my fics end with settling to move forward in their new circumstances. The ones that feel most hopeful in the end are also the ones that are most angsty and hopeless early on-- which is where you get some really depressing stuff like When You Wake (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine), Disconnect (The Penumbra Podcast), Fragment of Memory (The Penumbra Podcast), and the space between (is where I'll be hiding, waiting for you) (The Penumbra Podcast), Heartless (The Penumbra Podcast), Event Horizon (The Penumbra Podcast), Lost in Translation (Welcome to Night Vale). That's the thing-- I'm all about contrast.

Do you write crossovers? If so, What is the craziest one you’ve ever written?

In the most vain and self-indulgent way possible. But they're not marked as such.

There are several characters from a book series I wrote that I have play with the characters in fanfic. I tend to change their names and scrape off any identifying information. You can find two of those characters repeated in Dragons Love Things That Shine (The Penumbra Podcast) and Our Wall Against The Dark (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine), but the craziest iteration of that would be my attempt at a choose-your-own-adventure: Peter Nureyev and the Blue Persephone. In that one I changed the names and... pretty much nothing else.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Only ever on ff.net, and that was a long, long time ago. I've been pretty lucky in that regard.

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

AO3 seems to be under the impression that I've only got 17 smut fics, which... doesn't sound right? Probably because the overwhelming majority of them are hidden away in one-shot compilations.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I think it's happened once or twice, but never in a personal way-- just one of those site-aggregator bots that grab a few thousand fics in one go.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I recall, but my memory is crap.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I once tried to do a 9/Labyrinth crossover with a friend, but that turned out less successfully than intended. I also wrote a bunch of back-and-forth with @dangersocks.

What’s your all-time favourite ship?

That changes entirely depending on what fandom I'm in at a given moment. What really sets off my heart-eyes is devotion, though: that willingness to go to the ends of the earth ensure your beloved's happiness whether or not they can return or even are aware of your love.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

The Blue Persephone (TPP) is probably never going to be finished, which is frustrating because I have an ending very clear in my head. It's just that it's a choose-your-own-adventure, and that requires more than one.

I kind of wrote my way into a corner with Shadows of Azoth (WTNV) and I have been mortal (Wolf 359) and The Siren (TPP) and... god, so many more.

What are your writing strengths?

I like to think I'm pretty good at keeping people in character, and in twisting weird AU scenarios in such a way that they stay as true to the original as I can get them.

I'm also a sucker for extended metaphors.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Finishing things. Hard Conversations (there's a reason those tend to happen off-screen, as it were). I'm so finicky about staying in-character that I'm fairly reluctant to include characters that I'm less familiar with. And I tend to get super anxious about being too samey from one fic to the next, especially in things like turns of phrase.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I have ALL the admiration for those writers who dare to do it, but I get too stuck in my own head about things like linguistics and grammar and stuff like that, so I tend to just stick with "and they spoke to each other in French" or whatever.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

I didn't publish it, but it was a Lord of the Rings portal fantasy where the Modern Girl meets one of the original elf-turned-orcs before joining the fellowship.

Turns out I liked the orc more than the rest of the fellowship, so I tried to file off the serial numbers and turn it into an original story. I was in middle school, so it went about as well as expected.

What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

Oof.

Okay. I think The Silken Tether series for Star Trek.

Skin and Scales and Fragment of Memory for The Penumbra Podcast.

#ask game #fanfiction #soulmate au

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possiamo-andare · 4 years ago

Text

Invisible String: JJ Maybank

JJ x OC

MASTERLIST

word count: 9.9k

summary: based off the lyrics from Taylor Swift’s song “Invisible String”, this story follows an original character named Charlotte “Charlie” Summers, a hopeless romantic who unfortunately falls in love with JJ Maybank. At first, he wants nothing to do with her but after one night, he realizes that maybe he was wrong about love after all.

a/n: I was writing this while I wasn’t feeling myself and because of that, it’s not like my usual stories. The ending is hopeful but open ended and it’s very angsty. I know some people don’t like Taylor Swift but this song off her new album is seriously so amazing. Try to be open minded while you listen to the album and I promise it won’t disappoint. have fun reading :)

Green was the color of the grass

Where I used to read at Centennial Park

I used to think I would meet somebody there

She had enjoyed sitting in parks and reading the Feminine Mystique while the only time he sat to read was when he was in school, if he ever showed. She was a hopeless romantic, pining and obsessing after every long haired, rebel without a cause she saw. There was a new boy every week. Not that she ever dated them. No, she only watched them from afar, wondering what shampoo they used or how their eyes would crinkle when they laughed. There was something beautifully innocent about these attractions and so, for a very long time, she just sat on the same park bench from afar and watched a number of beautiful people pass her; they were completely oblivious to the fact a girl was admiring them only a few feet away.

He was the polar opposite. It was not that he didn’t believe in love because he loved his friends but JJ never wanted anyone to love him. And, unlike many teenagers, he was okay with not being loved. Love was for the weak, for people who needed validation from others. He needed none of that. If a girl ever liked him, he would use and lose them quickly, making sure they hated him by the end of it. Love weakened him and he didn’t have the time to be weak when everyone around him expected him to be strong.

Teal was the color of your shirt

When you were sixteen at the yogurt shop

You used to work at to make a little money

She had asked him when they first met if he liked the colour teal. Random yes, but it wasn’t a meaningless question. Men associated teal with feminine activities, such as braiding hair and dressing dolls and any man who recoiled at that answer meant that they would not be compatible. When he didn’t recoil and instead vigorously nodded his head, she knew he was the one. JJ thought of how the waves felt between his fingers and his mother’s eyes when he thought of teal. Subsequently, the colour teal would rear its head in their relationship many times. For it was the colour of his favourite shirt and the colour of the ocean where they met.

His answer, although enthusiastic, was about the only interesting thing he thought she had said. When JJ first met her, there was no undeniable pull. Unlike her, he just saw a plain girl. Pretty, yes, but plain. She was the type of girl he could learn to love in time, but he was not interested in waiting a few months to feel something for her. Instead, he wanted carnal and immediate affection. He wanted to feel the pull instantly. Realistically, the relationship with instant attraction lasted only a few weeks until it wore off but JJ was not looking for a realistic love. Not at first anyways.

Time, curious time

Gave me no compasses, gave me no signs

Were there clues I didn’t see?

He wondered, later on, if his instant distaste for her was the reason the universe made them stumble in and out of each other’s lives for so long. He thought it was the universe trying to teach him a lesson. The lesson being a person that you think is insignificant, could actually turn out to be the most important person in your life.

They saw each other for the second time at his job. To try and get some extra money, JJ decided to get a job. Unfortunately the only job he seemed he could find was one at an ice cream parlor. It was embarrassing for him but he had to wear a teal shirt (his favourite colour), so he swallowed his pride and started at Figure 8’s only ice cream parlor. Unfortunately for him, JJ hated Kooks. This hate only grew when every customer he served was a Kook. They were all obnoxious and rude, two qualities he suspected they would have. But he bit his tongue and served even the people with the worst attitudes. Two weeks after she and JJ met at the beach, she entered the same ice cream parlor with her friends. Sarah Cameron, along with her boyfriend Topper and her brother Rafe, were all too preoccupied with their difficult decision on what to order to notice that their friend was acting oddly.

Oddly would be an understatement. She was mortified. Not only was her hair matted because she was surfing all day, but she was also wearing no makeup. These two things, along with the fact she was completely caught off guard that JJ was an employee at this parlor made her disastrously nervous. As they waited in line, she asked Sarah for her mirror.

“Mirror? Why the hell do you need a mirror?” Sarah questioned, a confused look written over her face. When her friends didn’t answer (or was too embarrassed to do so), she followed her eye line to the blonde boy who was scooping ice cream. “JJ? Really Charlie?”

Charlie frowned, her face hot. “He’s nice.” She said this so casually, it almost seemed as if she had known JJ her entire life.

But Sarah, although spending a limited amount of time with JJ, knew more about him than Charlie did. “No, he’s not.”

“Who’s nice?” Rafe butted in, only hearing Sarah’s last words to Charlie and trying to catch up on the conversation he missed.

“No one!” Charlie rushed, glancing at Sarah for her to play along.

The last thing Charlie wanted was for Rafe or Topper to know about her crush on JJ. Although she hung out with these boys, it was only to be polite. If Charlie had to choose, she would rather solely spend her time with Sarah. Although weary on why this already weird girl was acting even more so, Rafe was too tired to press for more and instead gave Charlie a puzzled look and turned back to face Topper, who was too busy deciding on what to order.

“Charlie’s gonna order for us.” Sarah announced, watching in amusement as her friend’s face contorted in fear.

“Hm?” Charlie gulped, glancing at the line that was coming dangerously close to JJ.

Sarah grinned. “We’ll pay for it as long as you order for us.” Sarah paused for a moment, a mischievous grin on her lips. “Or are you too scared?”

Charlie shook her head, indignant. “I am not.”

Sarah nudged Charlie forward, watching as the girl came face to face with JJ Maybank.

JJ was surprised to see her here. Of course, he knew he would have to see her eventually. He worked in the only ice cream parlor for miles and it was only a matter of time before the pretty girl with a name he did not remember finally stumbled across this parlor. As he watched her stumble over her words as she ordered, his heartbeat picked up speed. He swallowed harshly, wondering why a girl who only a few weeks ago he could care less about was now making him feel nervous.

“I’ll have t-two, um, rocky r-roads…” Charlie scrambled to remember the order her friends listed off to her, her mind running faster than her brain.

JJ nodded, looking up every so often to indirectly tell her he was listening. Her wet hair stuck to her cheeks, clearly drying in a matted way. He had a strong urge to reach out and push the hair behind her ears, something he never wanted to do before now. So what changed? JJ shook his head, trying to clear his mind as he wrote the order properly. Nothing changed, he convinced himself. He was only caught off guard by her presence.

“That’s it?” JJ calmly said, thanking an omniscient being that he had not acted as nervous as she was. He had a growing suspicion that this girl had a crush on him which only made him embarrassed since he didn’t want to believe he felt anything for her.

Y//N nodded, wanting to pinch herself just so she could calm down. “Yep.”

“Okay,” JJ ripped off the note from his pad and stuck it on the board where a bunch of his co-workers were ready to scoop. “Your order will be ready soon.”

Charlie nodded, forcing her head to move smoothly as to draw attention away from her shaky hands. “Thanks.”

Before she had time to move farther down the line, JJ spoke again. He wanted to put these feelings down to rest, proving to himself that he did not feel anything towards a girl he barely knew. “I think I’ve met you before. What’s your name?”

JJ knew this would hurt her feelings because they had met quite recently. Although it did hurt her feelings, she knew not to take it too personally because she was a girl hardly anyone noticed. “It’s Charlie.”

JJ nodded, smirking as he remembered the name. His heartbeat finally slowed down. Maybe he really felt nothing and it was only the embarrassment of seeing her again that made his heartbeat pick up. “I’m -”

“JJ. I know.” She interrupted him, watching as her friends slowly started to move farther down the line. Before she held up the line any more, she sweetly smiled at JJ and said, “I remember because you’re named after the producer of Lost.”

With that last comment, she walked farther down the line and closer to her friends. As Sarah asked her what happened and Charlie soaked up the embarrassment she felt, JJ wanted to laugh. She had just confirmed his suspicions; she had a crush on JJ. This did not seem to matter to JJ all that much since numerous girls in OBX had fallen victim to his blue eyes and cocky smirk. Although she wasn’t the first girl to ever have a crush on him, she was the first he could care less about. Usually he would use these infatuations to his advantage but this time he had no interest in Charlie. Although this was true, he was also bored out of his mind. He hadn’t been laid in a week or so and that was a long time when you were JJ Maybank. He knew how easy it would be to invite a girl that acted like that back to his home and, against his better judgement, he decided to do it.

This was mostly against his better judgement for two reasons. One, she was a Kook and JJ hated Kooks. He rarely slept with any of them, annoyed by their very presence. He usually went for Pogues or tourists, two kinds of girls he got along with better. Two, she seemed to have some type of infatuation with him which was dangerous territory. The girls that JJ slept with liked him, but it never went past the surface. Those girls didn’t give him the heart eyes she was giving him and that’s why he spent time with them. He knew it was cruel to sleep with a girl that felt so strongly towards him, especially when he felt nothing towards them, and that’s why he rarely slept with those types of girls. But he was willing to break that rule for some fun.

You might be thinking right about now that JJ Maybank is a miscreant and for that, you would be correct.

As he watched her pay for her order and get her ice cream, he seemed to be in a daze. As he watched her talk to her friends, her mind elsewhere, he thought of how he would ask her out and inevitably sleep with her. I’m warning you now, you won’t like JJ for most of this story. He’s greedy and selfish. Like a hurricane, he sweeps up whatever is around him and destroys it. And he has a fun time doing it.

Just as Charlie and her friends exited the parlor, his boss told him it was time for his break since he seemed ‘a little out of it.’ Without so much as a nod, JJ made his way past the line of customers, watching as Charlie closed the door behind her.

“Charlie!” JJ raised his voice, catching the girl’s attention.

“What does he want?” Rafe asked, stepping forward and trying to grab onto Charlie’s hand and pull her away from a Pogue he hated. Although Rafe would only admit it if there was a gun to his head, he had feelings for Charlie that he knew she would never reciprocate. Seeing JJ chase after her and seeing her stop, only added to his heartbreak.

“Let’s give them some privacy…” Sarah whispered as JJ approached them, confidently staring at Charlie who was averting her gaze. She was too embarrassed to watch JJ step closer and closer to her.

Just as Sarah pulled her boyfriend and brother away from Charlie, JJ finally stood in front of Charlie. He never asked girls out. It usually was implied that he wanted to spend time with them because if he didn’t, he would just avoid them like the plague.

He would admit to himself, as he approached Charlie, he felt guilty. She seemed like a sweet girl but should be with someone who could give her everything. That also begged the question in JJ’s mind; what did she want from him? She was a Kook after all and if she genuinely just liked him, that would be the first time a Kook was ever genuine about anything. Surprisingly, it made JJ feel better about using her if she was a Kook. He hated Kooks, especially Rafe, and sleeping with this Kook Princess was definitely going to piss off some Kooks.

“I have the first season on DVD at my house. Wanna come over some time and watch it?” JJ looked at his hand, watching as he loosened his grip on the ends of his teal shirt.

Charlie was surprised but did her best to hide it. She thought she was successful but JJ could see right through and it only added to his ego when he saw her bewilderment. Slowly but surely, Charlie finally answered with a nod. JJ nodded back, waiting for her to say something and when he realized she wouldn’t, he spoke again.

“What about tomorrow night?”

She only nodded again, her heart thumping in her chest. She was afraid JJ could hear the beat of her heart because it was so loud in her ears. Fortunately JJ did not and instead turned around and made his way back to the parlor. He felt a slight squeeze around his heart but ignored it, thinking it was because he had just asked a girl out and was feeling guilty about it. Charlie felt the same squeeze but did not dismiss it as JJ had. Instead, she saw it as an invisible string finally tying around her heart and connecting to JJ’s.

And isn’t it just so pretty to think

All along there was some

Invisible string

Tying you to me?

For her, that night couldn’t come fast enough. For JJ, he could care less. Not that he wasn’t excited to get laid but that seemed to be it for him. It was nothing more than a hookup and he promised he would explain that to her when she got to his house. Thankfully his father was gone for the weekend, leaving JJ to be at his house for as long as he wanted to.

As Charlie sat at Sarah’s vanity, letting her friend pluck her eyebrows and blend her makeup, JJ was sitting on his couch and watching tv. He was less than nervous. Yes, he was nervous when he first was speaking to her but her adorableness had caught him off guard. Now, he was ready for her. He would always be ready for her now.

As the time came closer and closer to their ‘date’, Sarah felt obligated to inform her friend on who she was about to go on a date with. She loved Charlie like a sister and wasn’t about to let a boy she knew to be a troublemaker and a womanizer destroy her friend’s perception of love. Her friend had never been in a relationship and had a limited experience with boys which meant she didn’t understand how cruel some of them could be. To settle the arguments in her mind, she decided to just advise her friend to be careful. Although Charlie understood her friend’s apprehensiveness, she thought she understood JJ like the back of her hand. He had a tough exterior but on the inside, he was just as fragile as any other person. She was willing to meet the real JJ. Unfortunately, what she didn’t know yet was that her heart had to break first before she met the real JJ.

Although JJ had a number of girls come over at his house, he rarely asked them out days before. Usually they would come home with him the same night he met them. To say JJ was underprepared was an understatement. He only realized he had a date that night when she rang the doorbell. In a hurried mess, he threw on the cleanest shirt he had and rushed to open the door. Tripping only once, he successfully made it to the door. When he opened the door, all his worries melted away. And no, it was not because she was breathtaking but because he remembered it was only Charlie. Plain Charlie.

She was considerably more nervous than him, being as it was only her first date. But she took a deep breath and took everything one step at a time. She felt pretty, her hair done in a nice braid and wearing her favourite shorts, and pretended as if she was one of those girls who carried themselves as if they were an angel that graced everyone’s presence. She saw her walk as dainty but JJ barely noticed, distracted by her bare legs. They were virtually smooth (meaning she shaved) and tan.

“Where’s your tv?” Charlie asked, watching as JJ looked up from her legs and to her eyes.

JJ’s house, although not anything like hers, was cozy and she liked it. There were beer cans thrown everywhere and she knew JJ had made no effort to clean anything up but still, his house looked as if someone lived in it. Granted, it was a messy individual but nonetheless, it was a home. Her house was always too clean and looked deserted.

“In my room.” JJ stated, walking in front of her and opening the door to his room. He looked behind him, watching as she did not make any movement towards him. Just as he began to get confused he remembered that she was deathly awkward and might not be okay with being in his room. Showing an ounce of concern for someone other than himself for the first time in weeks, he said, “Is that okay?”

Charlie cleared her throat, nodding quickly before picking up her feet and walking through the threshold of JJ’s door. She wanted to seem nonchalant about being in his room but JJ saw right through her. Either she was just nervous or she had never been in a boy’s bedroom. The latter was true. If JJ had known that, he would have never let her in his room. He had always believed he was not good enough to be anyone’s first for anything, including a small thing like that.

Charlie softly sat on the edge of JJ’s bed, watching as the boy bent down and put the DVD through the DVD player. When his back was to her, her eyes finally drifted to his right wall where a small picture of him as a child, hugging a woman who shared the same features as he did. She had stuck two fingers, which were supposed to be bunny ears, behind his head and plastered on a huge grin. JJ, oblivious to the fingers behind his head, only gave a toothy grin as he looked into the camera.

When JJ finally got up from his seat on the floor, he sat right next to Charlie. She was right on the edge of his bed, sitting very close to the tv. She seemed a little stiff and JJ hoped she would relax soon. Although her body was in front of the tv, her head was turned elsewhere. When he realized what picture she was looking at, he immediately felt embarrassed. That picture was usually never hung but JJ had felt nostalgic last night and hung it up to look at but never took it down.

Before he could speak, she did first. “Is that your mother?” This was the first clear and confident sentence she had spoken since they met and JJ was almost surprised to see that her regular voice was lower than he first thought.

JJ nodded for a second, grasping to find a subject he could change to. He looked at the tv screen and handed the remote to Charlie, finally knowing what to say. “What episode?”

Charlie scrolled down, through the first season before deciding to pick the first episode. As the opening scene started to play, JJ chuckled to himself, scooting closer to the edge of the bed to get closer to Charlie. He saw that this movement made her nervous but he only scooted closer.

“Why’d you laugh?” Charlie asks, her voice once again softer. She seemed to be nervous again and JJ only found it adorable. “You don’t like the first episode.”

JJ knew it was going to be more difficult to get this girl to kiss him since he doubted she’d ever make the first move. Indulging her, he answered her question. “It just tells me a lot about your personality.”

Charlie’s face contorted in confusion, her eyes off the screen and on JJ now. “What does this tell you exactly?”

JJ smirked. “That you’re a real neat freak. You need things to have a beginning, middle and end. Probably a hopeless romantic. You love the stories of girl meets guy, they fall in love and get married. The end.”

Charlie, a little upset he read her so precisely, only rolled her eyes and tried not to be too offended. “And what episode would you have chosen?”

JJ shrugged, thinking for a moment before answering. “Probably the last one.”

Charlie nodded, scratching her chin. “Probably means you hate to follow the norm. You hate beginnings and middles and the end. You don’t like structure and you probably think love is a little dumb.” When she sees JJ’s smirk falter, she continues. “How right was I?”

JJ was slightly surprised at how accurate she had been. Yet again, he found himself trying to remain calm. “Pretty right.”

Charlie smirked, bowing her head. “Thank you.” Her eyes turned back to the screen, watching as a scene unfolded in front of her.

JJ wasn’t done with the conversation though, upset that a girl he thought he had figured out turned out to be not what he expected. She was shy, he thought. In some ways she was, but at the same time she wasn’t going to let JJ shamelessly make fun of her. She had some type of backbone, however small. He watched her instead of the screen, so confused how he had gotten her personality so wrong. Eventually, she saw he was not paying attention and she looked back to him, sheepishly making eye contact. JJ was confused again. How could she be outwardly intelligent one second and shy the next? This girl was more complicated than he thought.

On your first trip to LA

Bad was the blood of the song in the cab

You ate at my favorite spot for dinner

“Is there something else you wanted to add?” Charlie innocently asked, embarrassed that JJ was watching her so intently.

JJ shrugged, glancing at the screen before looking back at her. “Wondering if the rest of my profile is correct about you.”

He watched as Charlie chuckled at the word profile. He suddenly felt embarrassed, realizing it wasn’t the coolest thing to say in the moment. She shrugged and said, “I don’t know. What is it?”

JJ wanted to say so much but he couldn’t. She wasn’t what he thought she was. She was multifaceted, shy and confident. Meek and talkative. Instead, he felt himself more interested in what she thought about him. This had never happened before. JJ never thought they would do this much talking. He never thought their conversations would get this deep this fast. Especially with a Kook.

“I don’t know. What about me?”

Charlie smiled, glancing at that picture on the wall before speaking. “Definitely a mama’s boy. She probably taught you how to surf.” As she talked, JJ’s heart rate picked up pace. She was getting close to dangerous waters. No one talked about his mother. Not even his closest friends. “That photo tells me two things. One, that she was the heart of the family because she knew how to be goofy. Two, she left because there’s no other pictures of her in the house. Your dad -”

JJ had heard enough. It was too much. She was right about too much. He rarely spoke about his mom, too many buried memories. Without allowing her to speak any longer, JJ got up from his seat beside her and stood by the door. His hand was on the knob, watching as she stopped talking and a concerned expression crossed her face. JJ rolled his eyes, her fake sympathy only angering him. The last thing he needed was an empathetic Kook going around telling everyone his sob story. He didn’t care how needy he was, he was not going to sleep with her now.

“I want you to leave.” JJ said hoarsely, his throat closing as he tried to hold back tears.

As he said this, Charlie’s heart thumped in her ears. She quickly got up from her seat and slowly moved towards an angry JJ. With his hand still clutched around the knob, she slowly approached him. “JJ… I didn’t mean -”

“No,” JJ tensed up again as he saw her approach him. “You Kooks never do.”

Charlie stops in her tracks, soaking in his last words. “Kooks?”

JJ rolled his eyes. “Yeah, you Kooks. You wanna hear a real profile? All you Kooks are so fucking unhappy with your shitty lives you have to bother us with your bullshit. Well, I’m not gonna sit here and let you make me seem like a little poor boy who misses his mom.”

Charlie stays still and waits for JJ to finish before she speaks. “I’m sorry if I hit a nerve, I didn’t know I would be right.”

JJ cackled sarcastically, the door still not open. “Whatever.”

Charlie frowned. “JJ, I’m sorry. You’re right. I am a Kook and I couldn’t possibly understand -”

“Shut up.” JJ hisses, finally taking his hand off the door knob.

He does not move it again and for a minute, Charlie thinks he might not let her go. Then she sees why he’s moved his hand. His hand moves to his chest where she realizes he is having a panic attack. JJ falls to his knees, clutching his chest and heaving. Charlie rushes forward and wraps her arms around him, trying to get him to calm down. She feels like this is completely her fault. She opened a wound that hasn’t fully healed. It was all a joke but she took it too far.

“JJ,” Charlie said as she grasped onto each of his shoulder blades. He made eye contact with her, his face beat red from lack of oxygen. “Try and breathe.”

This had never happened to JJ before, let alone with a girl in his room. Yes, he would have a couple of panic attacks every couple of weeks but never in public and never in front of a girl he wanted to sleep with. The embarrassment only added to the inability to breathe. His mind raced a mile a minute, screaming for him to just breathe. But it was easier said than done. His chest rose and fell rapidly, his breath coming out in large heaves. His chest was hurting and he honestly believed he was going to die. In front of a Kook, nonetheless.

JJ shook his head at Charlie, trying to tell her he couldn’t. Charlie nodded, holding eye contact. “Yes you can.” Her hands moved from his shoulders to his face, gently cupping both sides of his face. “Breathe in.” Charlie instructed for JJ to copy her as she took a deep breath. “Breathe out.”

At first, it was so difficult for him to do but Charlie was not about to give up on him. As minutes passed, she continued to breathe with JJ and help him through his panic attack. Soon, his breaths became even again and only when she was sure he was okay, she let go of the sides of his face. They didn’t speak for many minutes, the both of them not finding the right words to say. They were only fighting ten minutes ago and just now, she had helped JJ through a difficult time where he couldn’t breathe.

Finally, Charlie was the first to speak. She stood up first, reaching out to help JJ up. When he got to his feet, his mind still a little foggy, she spoke. “JJ, I’m -”

“Shh.” JJ quieted her by shushing her.

Charlie instantly stopped speaking, looking directly at JJ. She was mortified because of what had happened and wanted nothing more than to apologize profusely. When JJ wouldn’t let her, she instead waited until he said his peace. She knew some bad words were going to be exchanged but she accepted that. After all, she had basically given him a panic attack. Instead, JJ did the exact opposite. He said nothing for a while. It seemed like he was debating something in his mind and when he finally had made his decision, he looked at Charlie. She was about to try and speak again but she never got the chance; JJ’s hands quieting her. He reached forward for her and cupped her face in his hands before pulling her forward into a heated kiss. This kiss had caught her off guard and she barely had time to react and kiss him back before his lips were off hers again.

JJ felt how hot his cheeks were becoming as he watched Charlie look at him in awe. He had never felt so embarrassed to kiss a girl before but now, he was. He tried to convince himself it was because of his most recent episode, his whole body was weak and was mistaking weakness for nervousness.

As if that wasn’t embarrassing enough, JJ finally spoke. “Sorry.” JJ wanted to slap himself. Why in the hell did he say sorry? He watched as Charlie shook her head, a smile on her face.

“It’s okay.” She whispered, her lips tingling. That was her first kiss and it felt wonderful. And this time, the feeling was mutual.

With a huge surge of confidence, Charlie grabbed JJ by the collar and pulled his forward. When he was only inches away, she leaned in close and kissed him. JJ reacted quicker than her, kissing her back almost instantly. Although this was only the first time she was kissing a boy, JJ would have never guessed that was so. She kissed very passionately, even knowing when to break for air. Slowly, as their kisses deepened, JJ guided her to his bed where he wanted her. This time, he had no ill intentions.

Bold was the waitress on our three-year trip

Getting lunch down by the Lakes

She said I looked like an American singer

JJ never lay on his back when girls kissed him. Instead, he always took charge, hovering over them. His hands would be on their belt in no time and the rest was easy. This time, however, he lay on his back and allowed for Charlie to hover over him as they kissed.

This part was supposed to be easy for him. This was his specialty but, as he kissed Charlie with his hands still not moving from her face, he seemed to forget. It was as if the last years of sexual escapades had never happened and he was a virgin again. This only annoyed him. He wanted to impress her. He wanted to show her how skilled he was but his arms seemed to be limp as Charlie’s hands dropped lower and lower, caressing his body. JJ almost felt embarrassed. He had been waiting to sleep with Charlie ever since that day at the parlor and now, he seemed like an innocent virgin who was scared to make the first move.

Charlie lay on JJ, her legs entangled in his. “JJ, you can touch me, if you want.” She felt slightly embarrassed by what she said but she had a feeling JJ was too nervous to notice. He seemed to be frozen in place, an awkward boy who she knew was experienced.

JJ nodded, glancing at her lips before connecting them once again and kissing her. He felt even more embarrassed now. A girl, who he knew to not be as nearly as experienced as he was, was now telling him how to make out. The world had obviously turned on its axis. There was no way he wasn’t in an alternate universe. Still, he nodded his head and finally moved his hands from her face to the end of her back. As they continued to kiss, his hands lay there and he made a point to softly caress them back and forth.

JJ had never felt as embarrassed as he did then. Not only was he acting if he never touched a girl before, but his heart beat was thumping so loudly in his head, he thought he might faint. This had never happened and he wondered why, out of all the girls, was it happening with Charlie? He had hooked up with girls hotter than Charlie and they never scared him but now, this plain brunette had changed something. As their kissing developed into more, clothes thrown haphazardly all over the floor, JJ asked himself if maybe it was different because he had never met a girl like Charlie ever. Finally, he felt the same string Charlie had felt before and it knotted around his heart, pulling him closer to Charlie.

Time, mystical time

Cutting me open, then healing me fine

Were there clues I didn’t see?

When it was all said and done and Charlie lay beside him, tired and naked, JJ knew he’d never be the same. Everything was different. The kisses had become more intense. The heat of adoration radiated from her body, and for the very first time, JJ made love to someone. It was so overwhelming, particularly for someone who had never been handled like this before. As Charlie snuggled closer to JJ, her eyes ready to close any minute, JJ started to get scared.

“You okay?” Charlie asked, even though she was in more pain than he was. She had just lost her virginity to JJ and he didn’t even know. She decided against telling him for now, scared to ruin the mood.

Although still in a lot of pain, she couldn’t be happier. She had always wanted to feel loved when she lost her virginity and she finally had. Charlie never took sex too seriously, even though she was a hopeless romantic because most of the time, it was never how you imagined it. She had been warned that it would be dull but that was not her experience at all. She felt safe and protected. JJ had barely said more than a word or two to her during but she could tell how nervous he was, which only made this experience more lovely to her. She was utterly happy beyond belief in that moment.

JJ couldn’t speak, his throat rough. Instead, he nodded slowly and mustered up enough strength to say only one word. “Sleep.” And so she did.

You have to understand where JJ is coming from before I tell you the rest of the story. He grew up with an abusive father, one that would hurt more than he loved. His mother was his shining light, taking any bad situation and turning it into a good one. She loved JJ but was mentally ill herself and the more violent his father got, the more her mind would deteriorate. Sometimes, his mother would be so depressed, she would forget to feed him and JJ had to make his only lunch at six years old. Although his mother tried her best, JJ spent most of his childhood alone until he met John B., Kiara and Pope. And he only met them after his mother left when he was six. JJ grew up in an unstable home where the people that were supposed to love each other, didn’t. He grew up not believing in love and in turn, never experienced love. Of course, he loved his friends but that was a different kind of love. Every girl he was with was just another way to fill the void where he knew romantic love was supposed to be. That’s why he never felt guilty about inviting Charlie over; he was sure nothing would come out of it. But here he was, feeling the emotion he had thought never existed. So, in order to protect himself from what he knew to be the scariest thing to happen to him, he decided to never talk to Charlie again.

She was the only girl to ever change his mind about love so, instead of facing his feelings head on, he hid from her. After that day, she tried to call him but he never answered. Everytime her number appeared on his phone, he felt the string connecting him to her tug a little but he never answered the phone. He was scared and people who are scared do stupid things.

Charlie had no experience with boys before JJ so at first, she had no idea he was avoiding her. At first, she suspected he was busy. He did have a job and it took up most of his time. Although she tried to be positive, as the days progressed into weeks, she soon realized he was not busy but in fact avoiding her. It came to her after two weeks of leaving messages on his phone and silence. She was with Sarah and Rafe, watching the sun set as they made s’mores. It came to her all at once as she watched the sky get darker and when it sunk in, she burst into tears. At first, they were silent tears but the second Sarah noticed and asked her if she was okay, she started blubbering like an idiot. Sarah had suspected something was wrong but wanted Charlie to come to her organically, not forcing her to tell her what was bothering her. Rafe wanted to stay, due to his feelings for Charlie. Sarah would not allow him to be around and only when he left, did she finally ask Charlie to tell her the entire story.

And when she did, all Sarah saw was red. Charlie was the sweetest person she knew. When they were eight years old, Charlie had introduced herself to Sarah by kissing the paper cut on her thumb and praying for a speedy recovery. Everyone loved Charlie; it was hard not to. She was good to every person she met and to see JJ disregard her like this upset Sarah in so many ways.

“You should just march right up to his steps and give him a piece of your mind.” Sarah frowned, wrapping her arms around her crying friend.

“Y-you know I c-can’t.” Charlie sobbed, hiccups interrupting her words.

Sarah leaned back, making eye contact with her friend. “And why not?”

Charlie shrugged, wiping the tears from her cheeks. Her cheeks were stained black from her running mascara. “I’m embarrassed.”

Sarah stood up from her seat beside Charlie and scoffed loud enough for Rafe to hear on the other side of the door. Although he had left the room, he wanted to eavesdrop and find out what was wrong with Charlie. The more that was revealed, the angrier he got.

“Charlotte!” Sarah sang, only using her first name when she was upset with Charlie. “You are not the embarrassment in this situation. That Pogue is.”

“I just don’t think I can. I’m not that type of girl.” Charlie shrugged, sifting through her bag to find the makeup wipes and extra tube of mascara she keeps in there. “I’m not a confrontational girl.” She started wiping the black stains off her cheeks, glancing up at Sarah who was pacing the room back and forth.

Sarah crossed the room once more, kneeling in front of Charlie. “You can be.” She grabbed the wipe from Charlie’s hand and started to help her clean off the black stains. “You should be.”

And so, with a little extra mascara and confidence thanks to Sarah, Charlie decided that for at least today she would be that kind of girl. The girl that stands up for herself. She had hated confrontation but she knew Sarah was right. This was the type of situation where anyone should stand up for themself. JJ couldn’t use her anymore than he already had. She wouldn’t allow it. She was stronger.

As Sarah drove to JJ’s house, Charlie in the passenger seat, Charlie kept trying to convince herself to be mean. Being mean never came naturally to Charlie but JJ had broken her and he deserved a little rudeness. It was hard though, for a particular reason. Everything had seemed so real. He really seemed nervous and it seemed like he truly cared for her. He had acted cocky at the beach when they first met and even when he was asking her out but never when they were alone. He was way more vulnerable with her. Sarah had said that maybe that was his plan and how he got so many girls to sleep with him but Charlie didn’t believe it. Not only because she loved JJ, but because if he was acting the entire time, he had to be the greatest actor in the world.

As Sarah parked in JJ’s driveway, the nerves finally set in for Charlie. She finally realized that this was actually happening and soon she would be confronting the boy that had hurt her so deeply. With a deep breath, she turned to Sarah and gave her a weary look.

“What do I even say?” Charlie asked, holding onto the door for balance. She felt light headed.

Sarah shrugged. “What you feel.”

Although vague, Charlie understood what message her friend was trying to convey. Charlie had to speak from her heart and let JJ know how much he had hurt her, She didn’t know if he would try to apologize for his actions but she didn’t care. She was not looking for an apology. She loved JJ, she was not afraid to admit it, but she was not going to be dragged around like a lost puppy and made to look foolish. She had more dignity than that. She wasn’t sure why JJ did what he did. Maybe he was scared, or maybe he did it for fun but that wasn’t why she was upset. She was upset because he had not let her know what his true intentions were. Charlie believed in honesty before anything else and if JJ wasn’t going to be honest with her from the beginning, maybe he wasn’t the type of guy she thought he was.

As she climbed the steps to his house, she thought back to when she first saw him. She had known the rumours about him before and she was warned by many people, Sarah included, but there had been something about him that was so magnetic. It was as if there was a small string connected to him that was pulling her forward. Looking back to their first encounter at the beach, she could see how uninterested he was in her. Hindsight is 20-20 though because in the moment she didn’t realize. She blamed herself in some ways . Maybe if she hadn’t been such a hopeless romantic, none of this would have happened.

She stopped in front of his door, making no effort to knock on the door. Suddenly, relief washed over Charlie and she realized something. She was better than this. She didn’t need or want an explanation. The people that are nice to her, loved her. The people that went out of their way to help her are the people that love her. She was so in love with the idea of love that she forgot to remember what the reality was sometimes. The reality was that although everyone should be loved, some people don’t want that. Maybe JJ was one of those types of people or maybe not. It didn’t matter. She knew she deserved love and she didn’t need to yell at JJ or give him a piece of her mind to remind herself that she was worthy of love. She knew she was already. She took some comfort in knowing that she would not feel like this forever and soon, that string that had tied them together would break.

Without knocking on his door, Charlie turned right back around and made her way back to Sarah’s car. As she got in, she smiled for the first time in weeks. She felt better and she didn’t even need to talk to JJ.

“What happened?” Sarah questioned, watching as her friend who was now smiling buckled in.

“I just decided I’m better than that.” Charlie explained, finally looking to her friend. She was scared to see her friend’s reaction to this sudden realization but Sarah only smiled.

As Sarah put her car in reverse, slowly moving farther and farther away from JJ’s house, she felt the invisible string around her heart loosen.

And isn’t it just so pretty to think

All along there was some

Invisible string

Tying you to me?

Sarah had not been looking as she was pulling out of JJ’s driveway. She was too focused on her friend’s newfound confidence that she almost completely disregarded the blonde boy riding a skateboard behind her car. When she finally registered JJ in her rearview camera, she slammed her foot against the break and let out a loud gasp. JJ, who had been thinking of Charlie ever since he saw her last, looked up and, to his surprise, saw a red caravan two inches from him. He frowned, thinking it was one of those loudy child services social workers coming again unannounced. He got off his skateboard and trudged up to the drivers side of the car to tell them off. When he saw Sarah Cameron instead, his eyes widened. What the hell was she doing here? When his eyes shifted to the passenger’s seat, he gasped.

Charlie, who was gripping onto her seat at the abrupt stop Sarah had made, had not looked up to see JJ on the outside of the car until Sarah called her name.

“Charlie?” Sarah squeaked out, looking to her friend who was trying to catch her breath.

“Hm?” She looked up, her eyes already wide with fear but when she saw JJ, she let a small gasp out as well.

When her and JJ made eye contact, she knew she couldn’t avoid him any longer. She had to end this; she had to close this awful chapter out her life. So, with her hands shaking, she grabbed onto the ledge of the door and opened it. She swung her legs over the seat and shakingly placed them back on the ground. With a deep breath, she walked to the front of Sarah’s car, where JJ was waiting for her.

“Charlie…” JJ sighed, seeing the girl he hadn’t stopped thinking about since he first met her. He had been lying to himself for too long. He had loved her the second she had asked him if he liked teal.

Teal. The colour of the shirt she was wearing now. Teal. The colour of his newly painted nails.

“I was gonna yell at you.” She said calmly, her eyes watering as she watched the boy that had caused her so much pain. It seemed that his eyes were watering too now but she wasn’t going to fall for it again. She couldn’t let herself fall again. “But I can’t be anyone but myself. We have to be who we are in this world. And if you wanna be like this for the rest of your life, please leave me out of it.”

“I’m sorry.” JJ blinked fast, not wanting to cry in front of her. He had caused her too much pain, his own pain seemed miniscule now. “I don’t even know who I am. People expect me to be so many things, I don’t know.”

Charlie shook her head. “Forget about what everyone else wants, figure out what you want.”

JJ shrugs. “I don’t know yet.”

“When you know, find me.” Charlie raises her hand to cup one of his cheeks. He rests his head against her hand for a moment but she pulls away too quickly.

She starts to back away from him but before she can enter Sarah’s car again, JJ speaks. “I hope I haven’t changed your mind about love, Charlotte.”

The way he says her full name tells her everything. She gives him a small smile, shrugging. “Don’t worry, Maybank, I’m still a hopeless romantic.”

A string that pulled me

Out of all the wrong arms, right into that dive bar

Something wrapped all of my past mistakes in barbed wire

Chains around my demons

Wool to brave the seasons

One single thread of gold

Tied me to you

Days turned into months and before they were both ready, JJ and Charlie graduated. They had seen each other on a few more occasions, such as at his work or at a party, but it was only ever a passing glance. People say time is the best healer and that much was true. For Charlie and JJ, they both felt better as time passed. Although time had passed and somewhat healed, they were not the same.

JJ, for one, had not slept with a single girl since he was with Charlie. He was utterly broken and for months, he refused to even go out to parties. But, with the persistence of his friends, he finally tried to get back into his old rhythm. And, with his old rhythm, came a slew of girls at his disposal. Surprisingly, JJ actually dated a few of them and decided against sleeping with them. Charlie had changed him in the best way. He no longer was fulfilled by one night stands and instead dated girls for weeks. This might not seem like much but for JJ, it was progress. None of them were like Charlie but, with each relationship, it taught him how to be a better person. For one of the first times in his life, he felt whole being by himself. He even got a scholarship to a college on the mainland for the Coast Guard Academy. JJ was beginning to find himself.

Charlie was different too. She grew more confident. She now could recognize when people were taking advantage of her and, instead of ignoring it like she usually would, she would face them head on. She also confronted Rafe with his infatuation with her, something she inadvertently knew about for a while now. They remained friends through it all and she actually respected Rafe even more after it. She also joined the debate team and found her calling; law. She loved debating and began her interest in law by reading tons and tons of textbooks for law school. After months and months of trying to get over JJ, she finally felt herself start to move on. That’s when she finally went out with David, a guy on her debate team. They went out for a couple of weeks and when it ended, it was amicable. Her love for David was nothing like JJ’s but he made her feel secure in her feelings and she appreciated his support. Towards the end of the school year, she had got accepted to Yale, the ivy league school of her choice. She would be away from her friends and family for four years or more but she was excited to start studying law.

At their graduation, they both saw each other and, for the first time since they spoke, they smiled at each other. This smile was bittersweet considering they both still loved each other, but they were glad that life was going well for the both of them. They had grown and found themselves.

Cold was the steel of my axe to grind

For the boys who broke my heart

Now I send their babies presents

One night, after classes in their respective schools had started, JJ had a revelation. He had returned to OBX for the weekend and found this revelation in his enemy; Rafe Cameron.

JJ and his friends had promised each other to always meet for the weekend in OBX so they never lost touch but Pope and Kiara had been accepted in schools on the west coast so they were hours and hours away. John B and JJ kept their promises while Kiara and Pope skyped them and spoke all night. They were all still close, maybe even closer, since high school. One night, after Pope and Kiara had signed off, John B and JJ were still not tired and wanted to go out. Sarah had started dating John B only a few months before their graduation and although she was rude to JJ at first, he had grown on her. She wasn’t here this weekend so the boys were bored without her rambunctious ideas. John B had proposed they went out for late night ice cream and since JJ had no other ideas, he agreed to go.

As they waited in line, speaking amongst themselves, Rafe was waiting in line behind them. They had not seen him for months and, at first, they did not recognize him. Only when he tapped JJ’s shoulder, did their eyes widen at the sight of their old enemy. The first thing JJ saw was his teal shirt. His mind went to Charlie.

“What do you want?” John B was very aggressive when he first made eye contact with Rafe but JJ could see what John B didn’t. He wasn’t here to fight. His eyes were soft, almost said to see JJ and John B again.

“I wanna talk to JJ.” His voice is just above a whisper and somehow, JJ trusts him.

Before John B can defend his friend, JJ puts a hand on his friends shoulder. John B looks to him in confusion but says nothing and waits for JJ to speak. “Let’s step outside.”

Gold was the color of the leaves

When I showed you around Centennial Park

Hell was the journey but it brought me heaven

Rafe and JJ had never had a heart to heart. The only choice words they ever spoke to each other was when they were beating eachother up. Now, as they stood outside the ice cream parlour where JJ had previously worked, they seemed to be standing in a comfortable silence.

“What’s up man?” JJ asked, looking to the window where he saw John B ordering his and JJ’s ice cream.

“I want to let you know you’re a complete idiot.” Rafe swallows harshly and steps closer towards JJ.

For a moment, JJ thinks he might punch him by the anger in his eyes and how his fists are clenched tightly together. But the moment passes and Rafe remains quiet until JJ speaks. “Why?”

“She’s completely in love with you and you’re still here, ordering fucking ice cream.” Rafe spits, unclenching and then clenching his fists.

JJ’s shoulders slump. He wondered how the hell Rafe knew but he didn’t want to dwell on that. “Rafe, it’s complicated.”

Rafe shakes his head, a little calmer now. “No, it’s not. I loved her so much and when I told her, you know what she said?” He paused and only when JJ shrugged, did Rafe continue. “She told me she was waiting for a guy to find himself. So, have you found yourself?”

JJ nodded. “Yeah, but it’s been too long. She probably told you that months ago. My windows closed. Besides, she’s at Yale.”

Rafe shook his head incredulously. “She told me that last week dude.”

JJ felt like he might faint right there at this news. He felt light headed and he held onto Rafe’s shoulder and he tried to find his balance. After all this time, it wasn’t too late. After all this time, she still loved him. He looked back up to Rafe with a smile on his face. He stood straight back up, knowing what he had to do next.

“Rafe, if John B asks where I’ve gone, tell him sorry, but I have to go see about a girl.”

Time, wondrous time

Gave me the blues and then purple-pink skies

And it’s cool

Baby, with me

Charlie had begun a running regimen when she started at Yale. They had a beautiful track on campus and before every class every morning, she would run for two hours, shower, and then go to whatever class she had that day. On days she had off, she would take her time and on Saturday mornings, when no one had classes, she took extra time. She would sprint for a couple moments, then jog and walk and start all over again. Since she started this exercise, she could see an improvement in her health and stress. Whenever her mind brought her to places she didn’t want to be, she would run. Running had begun to become her therapy, along with her actual therapy.

On that particular Saturday, she was running late; figuratively of course. She had slept through her 6am alarm and, by 7am, she was rushing out her dorm to get to the track. She had tried to always get there extra because after 8am, it got too crowded. But, as she rushed down the steps on her campus dorm and out into the crisp autumn air, she came face to face with a certain blonde boy.

When she finally recognized him, a gasp left her lips. He looked disheveled from his journey and while half of her wondered what he could possibly want from her, the other half was crying with joy because she knew.

JJ walked up one step of the stairs, the closest he’s been to her since all those months ago. “Charlie, I -”

“No speeches.” She cuts him off, wanting to know his answer but too impatient. “Just tell me if you know.” She can’t wait any longer. All of these months of waiting and praying and now he’s here. She forgives him. She forgave him months ago. But now, she needs to know if she’s wasting her time all over again.

“I know now.” JJ looks at her, breathless.

The smile on her face tells him everything he needs to know. She knows too.

And isn’t it just so pretty to think

All along there was some

Invisible string

Tying you to me?

taglist: @dolanfivsosxox @obxrush @belledutchess @sexualparkour @lueurglow @maries110911 @ebonyyyy-e @teamnick @tangledinsparkles @91912512 @shawnssongs @ssjiara @amarachoren @under-a-canyon-moon @blog-hannahnicole @xlittlemissydjx

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creativenicocorner · 4 years ago

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Slides a ⭐ for a star person :p

Holy shit it took over a year and I barely remember which fanfic ask this is about...I think it's like a director's cut one? REGARDLESS! I do remember the star was to like talk about whatever - and while looking for a WIP I came across an attempt to answer this WITHIN a wip? Past Nico what were you thinking?!

I do know this was written sometime before Ch15 of Terpsichore came out, because there were a few references? But I rephrased the wording a bit.

Forgive me for using this as an excuse to just babble on about how I choose the music titles for chapter sections in Terpsichore, but also, I'm not entirely sorry haha Without further Ado! Here’s hoping this rambling makes sense haha!!

⭐ AN ANSWER!（♥￫ｏ￩♥）

So it’s taken me a long time to figure out how I wanted to answer this. For a while I was going to ramble about M*A*S*H how it was a rather formative show for me growing up, especially in its anti-war message as well as how it feels like a comedy played in a minor key. There was even going to be a link to a video essay on the show, and then I was going to hint at a want to write a series following the changelings in a pre-show context in the sort of vibe M*A*S*H gave.

But it got lost, and weighty…and…idk, I can’t seem to stick to a lot of things these days? I don’t know.

But there’s always been in me the want to attempt to explain why I choose the music pieces I choose to title the sections in each chapter. Cause despite the little message at the bottom of the first chapter and the last chapter talking about motifs leitmotifs…writing prose is nothing like composing music.

And not only that I’m sure less than half of the people reading the fic will listen along with the playlist. Which is 100000% fine! I anticipate it even!

Because at best, those sectional pieces serve less as soundtrack more like a silent movie’s musical medley.

Because it’s the written word, and I’m not Andrew Hussie ldgj though the day I find out how to put a little ‘play button’ to listen to music during a fic, I might do that. But at this point in time Hell No haha.

Despite this, there is a process behind my music selections.

There is a difference between what I consider ‘corpse de ballet’/ ‘ensemble’ sections, and ‘leads’ / ‘duet’ sections.

Or what my poor readers go through as ‘a shit ton of prospective shifts’ and two prospectives at best, at the same time. I don’t know why I’m such a fan of bouncing between perspectives so much that you probably feel seasick. I always consider it a miracle anyone understands what the heck is going on dfjglk The answer is probably because I like third person omniscient writing, and am a sucker for situational/character irony. But I’m also a grammar school drop out haha and don’t actually know the rules of writing by heart? I’m just a fool with a bunch of vibes and a dictionary doing their best lol.

[ stressed coffee sip ] Fake it til you make it baby

But yeah! Enough borderline weird self deprecating! Let’s talk music!!

So! Usually when writing a section I try and think about who are the central characters in the section, and or what is the theme/emotion I’m trying to call on. Is there a motif, or a reference I can play on musically? An idea or concept I can echo or even enhance? Will it be a specific genera of music tied to a character because that character embodies and or is known for a specific genera (example: Nomura and Opera- more on that at during ACTII )

Once I answer those questions, I’m able to narrow down my music choices. Which, again, acts more like a book of suggested musical medley orchestras and musicians would purchase during the silent movie era as like a cheat sheet of what they could play during a specific scene.

So…for instance, for a character like Barbara Lake I wouldn’t use video game music -or maybe I could…but it would only be in terms of perhaps referencing her son.- who I would have a higher chance at choosing to select a video game music piece for (hang on to your butts ACT II Zelda soundtrack).

In the fic I’ve built the idea that in order to explain Barbara’s ability to paint, that she not only took classes but was part of the production team in putting on a play, mainly in set design painting props. Which opens me to a world of musical options when it comes to Barbara’s character. Especially when certain musicals hold songs that can be really fitting to her character later on. An example of this can be seen in ch3 “Aquarius”, and ch14 “Julia”.

Ch3 is Barbara’s big planned picnic date. The first date she and Walter go on after she ingested the binding spell. The two of them coming together, but also the magic of which awakening something magical inside.

And Ch14 in which the binding spell is broken, but also whatever was holding Barbara’s potential to reaching towards that magical something inside her is also broken. And in a sort of my own attempt at written diegesis between the narrative and the song selections in the sections, the lyrics to Aquarius is written out as Barbara depends into the water. In which it is no longer the dawning of Aquarius, Aquarius is starting to take center stage. Their cue is played.

That would be my example on a very character driven musical choice.

Not only that, but it is at Ch3 where Walter is influenced more and more to Barbara’s appreciation to musicals, so much so that it begins to influence his own array of music pieces. His dreams no longer dialogue from movies he fell asleep to, but sometimes full on reproductions of staged musicals and plays. An example of this can be seen in Ch11 On the Right Track from Pippin the Musical - which oof I could go into a full dissertation on in regards to changelings/Pippin and The Pale Lady/Leading Player.

Not only that, but due to influence from Barbara’s love we get the moment of Walter’s ‘I want’ section piece in the form of Ch9 “Corner of the Sky” (aka Pippin’s I want song as well). The moment before this happened there was the interaction with Angor AND Otto AND the repercussions of Angor attacking the school. It is clear to these characters that Strickler is not giving his all in killing Jim, and perhaps never tried to give his all. Something that Otto proclaims as Strickler making excuses, and Strickler insists is tact.

Then there is the situational character driven choice.

I’m going to continue to use Barbara as an example here, and say that THIS can be seen in Ch2 “No. 9 – Finale Andante” and ch12 “Le Lac Des Cygnes Introduction: Moderato Assai”

Both of these music pieces come from Swan Lake. The reasoning behind the choice is probably asinine in thought process (Barbara Lake, Swan Lake), but also thought out in the sense of the following:

In Season3 of Trollhunters Morgana, in order to attempt to reacquire her shadow staff from Strickler (“The Exorcism of Clair Nuñez), transforms herself to take Barbara Lake’s physical form.

IN THE BALLET SWAN LAKE The wizard Von Rothbart, in order to obtain what they want, transforms (granted someone else) Odile to look like the hero Odette in order to trick the prince into proclaiming this imposter Odile as their one true love. In which Odile is the mirror to Odette, and while looking similar (in fact typically the ballerina who performs as Oddette would also perform as Odile) are opposites in spirit.

And, at least in Terpsichore, what near primordial eldritch force can rival that of the Eldritch Queen that we know from cannon will inevitably impersonate Barbara Lake?

But wait, there’s more.

In chapter 2 the piece used in section 2 is the end of ACTI from Swan Lake. The music hints not only the arrival of Odette, but also her inevitable tragedy. What is written in this section, briefly at that cause we watched how the scene plays out in the show, you don’t need me writing that back at you, but I digress- What is WRITTEN in this section is Barbara sipping the enchanted tea that binds herself to Waltolomew Strickler. Something that you, the viewer and fan will know ends in tragedy, as do I the writer and also fan knows will end in tragedy. The only people out of the loop here are the poor poor characters.

And then the revolving door of bad situations that is ch12 happens, and we return to Swan Lake with “Le Lac Des Cygnes Introduction” In which Barbara is introduced to Jim Lake’s Trollhunting world, finally. But wait! There’s EVEN more.

Because not only is Barbara introduced to Jim’s Trollhunting world, Barbara begins to allow herself an introduction to that weird magical more that’s inside her via dream. And YOU/WE the reader/writer/audience, are introduced to the strange figure Giselle is talking to on the beach of Lake Superior…who…well, you’ve probably already have an idea as to who that figure is ;)c

There are also moments when I just select a song piece because I think it fits Thematially well - ch11’s “Powerhouse” section. Aka the music that plays in Looney Tunes whenever an assembly line montage occurs - to which in that section Jim Draal and Walter are putting together the booby-traps to thwart Angor Rot (as well as try to reassemble some sort of emotional connection between them). Or it could be a reference to a meme I really enjoyed, example Ch12’s “Roundabout” aka the music piece known vernacularly as “The Jojo Meme” but also like…meme aside it’s really good and fits and just lkfgjkgsdj I have a lot of feels about Roundabout and I won’t apologize for it haha

And yet, something I pride myself in, is that you don’t need to know all of this to enjoy the story. It isn’t necessary to listen to the Swan Lake pieces or even the Musicals, or even the Jojo Meme. Because, if I did my job right, those echoes ought to be in the writing. The pieces to the section have always been optional. Just little markings in a booklet to be given to you the reader/composer as a suggestion and you can choose to play those pieces along to the silent film, or boot up a ragtime. And that’s the power you have. And that’s equally as wonderful!

#Nico Responds #feather-dancer #Terpsichore #Tales of Arcadia #Trollhunters #Stricklake

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anthropwashere · 5 years ago

Text

Phic Phight: it’s all downhill from here (honey don’t be scared)

Prompt from @aggressivelyclueless: Halfa Valerie AU: Valerie becomes half-ghost. Apart from that being a total nightmare, this also leads her to discover Danny's secret as well. How is she going to handle it?

@currentlylurking @phicphight

Word count: 7,825

Mr. Heppenheimer, the latest in a long line of chemistry teachers that have come through Casper High since actual, real life ghosts have begun treating Amity Park like their own personal Las Vegas retreat away from the rigors of whatever normal life is like for ghosts in the Ghost Zone, gives Danny a lingering stink eye. Clearly the last teacher, Mrs. Jamshidi (who barely lasted a month, and submitted her two-week notice while recovering in the hospital after an admittedly memorable encounter with Ember), had left notes behind for her successor. Danny doubted a single word of it was in his favor.

"This practical's worth a quarter of your grade this semester," Mr. Heppenheimer says in his usual droll way. "You're not going to make me regret handing you glassware, are you, Mister Fenton?"

Danny, still a bit sore and off-kilter after another Jack Fenton-approved growth spurt, grins down at him. "No, sir."

Mr. Heppenheimer hums doubtfully. Clearly Mrs. Jamshidi had left extensive notes. "Don't make me regret this."

"Short of a ghost attack, I doubt you will," Danny answers truthfully. He really has gotten a much better control on his powers since the last time any science teacher let him near anything fragile, well over a year ago now. Mrs. Gorman hated him from the start for reasons he never figured out, anyway. He's looking forward to a fresh start.

Of course, worryingly enough Danny’s been sensing a pretty powerful ghost lurking around Casper High for over a week now. Along with the usual big green beasties that like to come sniffing around crowds of humans, which he’s had to dip out to handle three times now. No one’s noticed his on-going ghost sense, though it helps that he’s long-since gotten into the habit of keeping one hand cupped lazily over his mouth—just in case. That’ll be harder to pass off here in a practical lab, but there ought to be a lot of things bubbling and steaming soon. He just has to be careful until he’s got some cover.

Mr. Heppenheimer hums again, more dismissive than doubtful, and lets him approach the counter. His partner in this practical is Star, which is—randomized, definitely. Whatever, also definitely. He and Star have as much in common as him and an actual star, which is to say—nothing. He doesn't even generate heat anymore, not really. He's got a modified Maddie Fenton-approved belt buckle that lets him fake it, but it's not remotely the same thing, and not a

ll that convincing at close quarters anyway. Star, at least, knows him well enough that she's been bringing a mint green cardigan to class ever since they were assigned project partners.

Danny, well-aware he’s only good in the eyes of his peers for a laugh and anti-ghost tech, smiles thinly at Star and gestures at her to take the lead. She sniffs pointedly and does just so, which is fine with him. She's well on her way to valedictorian, whereas he's just trying to graduate. If deferring to whatever she wants gets him a passing grade, sure! He'll do whatever she says and accept whatever belittling comment she tacks on along with it. No skin off his back, right?

About twenty minutes into class there's a magnificent crash of glass that puts Danny 110% on edge; it's only Sam appearing at his left with a reassuring hand on his arm that keeps him from blasting a hole through the wall out of pure reflex. Which, maybe, possibly, likely says something about his state of mind after three straight years of fighting the kind of monsters that don't have any place outside of his very worst nightmares, but—whatever. Point is, thanks to Sam, he doesn't trash the lab or draw any unwanted attention to himself, both of which are good things! Another point in his favor: it’s finally somebody else’s turn to destroy a whole tray of beakers.

"Miss—Gray!" Mr. Heppenheimer shouts after a brief glance at the clipboard Danny hasn't seen him put down in the two weeks since he took the job. "What's the meaning of this?!"

"S-sorry!" Valerie stammers, her eyes firmly on the mess at her feet. Her project partner, Wes, is scowling at Danny. Likely because he believes the mess is entirely his fault. Wes can believe whatever he likes; just because he's the only one not fully in on The Big Secret who figured out The Big Secret out doesn't make him automatically right 100% of the time. Case in point: now. Danny's only touched his notebook, where he's got three pages of dutifully written notes on what Star's tasked him to write as she did all the metaphorical heavy lifting. He could swear on a stack of Bibles that this latest chemistry accident doesn't have a thing to do with him. It’s kind of refreshing, honestly.

Mr. Heppenheimer hums again. It seems to be his default over all the loud swearing he'd obviously prefer to be doing. "Clean it up. And do be careful, Miss Gray. I'd prefer to avoid sending anyone to the nurse's office today if I can help it."

"I—yeah. Yes, sorry." Valerie dashes off to the closet where all the safety-slash-cleaning gear is stashed to fetch cat litter, broom, and dustpan. Star scoffs on Danny's right, while Sam, hand still firmly squeezing Danny's bicep, has a worryingly thoughtful scowl on.

"Valerie has been such a mess since her dad lost his job," Star remarks in the usual scathingly cruel A-lister tone.

"He got his job back." Danny points out as he tries to shrug Sam off without making a big deal of it.

"So?" Star's tone has shifted from scathing to incredulous, which means she somehow didn't know something Danny's known since the tail end of their freshman year. It's admittedly bizarre to find himself able to lord some classmate gossip over an A-lister, but—with a glance at Sam to confirm it is, in fact, cool to lord this gossip over an A-lister—he gives Star a slow, sly grin as he gestures her closer. She leans in without an ounce of self-restraint or disgust, which means Danny's moved higher up the food chain since the last time he bothered to pay any attention.

"Valerie's dad used to be some bigwig in Axion Labs," he says, one eye on Sam and the other on Tucker, both of whom in turn are watching the teacher and the rest of the class. Just in case. "After Vlad—uh. Vladco, I mean—took over the company, Mister Gray got his position back despite Phantom screwing him over, and it's been smooth sailing for him ever since."

The sound of Valerie sweeping up broken glass gets discordantly loud, somehow. Danny doesn't have to look at her to know she's glaring daggers at him. He sets his shoulders and sticks the angle of his nose twenty degrees snootier, mostly to spite whatever murderous and/or weepy glower Valerie might be trying to laser into his soul. Which, whatever. He knows the shape of his own soul by now. He knows it's Phantom, plus or minus some degree of fiery white hair and green-tinged skin.

A bit of the old guilt niggles in the back of his head though. Accident or not, it was Phantom who cost Mr. Gray his job in the first place and Vlad who gave it back. And Vlad only did it at all once he realized his favorite little ghost fighting minion would be a better thorn in Phantom’s side if she didn’t have to work a part-time job at the Nasty Burger. Which—well. Danny’s glad she doesn’t have to deal with that anymore, for all that it does make her a better thorn in his side.

But—guilt. Dumb guilt, but on his plate all the same. He manages to edge the conversation to some other Gossip with a capital G that even Star's not aware of. Oh the things a guy can hear when he can literally turn invisible. It's kind of fun, honestly, to fill her in. The rest of the hour is spent hissing old-as-shit hearsay that still manages to make Star's eyes light up like she's watching Paulina’s favorite cabin burn down again. They do, somehow, manage to get their project pushed along to step three, which will pick up with the rest of all the normal and unobtrusive partnered projects tomorrow. He's not sure which of them is to thank for that, but he is more than a little pleased with how neatly he wrote their notes. It's the most like a regular student he's felt in months. It's honestly pretty great!

"We have a problem," Tucker hisses no less than five seconds and no more than ten after the bell rings. It's that perfect middle ground time of everyone shoving all their shit into their bags so they can bolt out the classroom door as fast as normal-humanly possible, so it's also that perfect middle ground time of nobody paying the three of them the least bit of attention.

"You noticed too?" Sam asks with her usual omniscient scowl. Danny truly and whole-heartedly wishes she'd stop with that, but he's yet to find an opportunity where he can say that to her face without coming across as a total shitheel, including now, so he grits his teeth and raises a pointedly baffled eyebrow at the both of them.

"Noticed what?" He asks with a patience he hasn't actually felt since junior high.

"Valerie's—" Tucker does a casual look around to see if anyone's close enough to eavesdrop, intentionally or no, which means this is a Phantom Thing. And if this is something Phantom and Valerie related? Yeah, no, he's in too good a mood for whatever latest gadget or trick Vlad might be cooking up via Valerie.

He holds up a hand with a sigh he automatically pretends is a yawn to cover up the blue wisp that escapes with it. "Can this wait? Better yet, can we just—not? At least for today? I'm really not up for counter-scheming."

"No need for that," Tucker assures way too quickly. The nervous laugh he follows it up with really doesn't help.

"Right," Danny says wryly, but motions to let them talk. Sam and Tucker share one of those weird non-verbal psychic looks where they have a whole conversation in the span of two seconds that goes right over Danny's head. He wishes they’d stop doing that, but if he called them out on it they’d deny it loudly, and it’d be a whole thing, and—ugh.

"Valerie's acting weird," Tucker says once they've finished. "As in, 'we definitely need to intervene' weird."

"Possessed?"

"No. But this might be worse."

"But this isn't the first time she made a mess in class,” Sam says.

Danny slips his one (1) notebook and one (1) pencil into his bag. He's learned the hard way to pack light and get real good at shorthand, as well as keep all his textbooks down in the Fenton dungeon where they're least likely to get torched in a ghost fight. Again. "Isn't it?"

"Nope," Tucker says as they make their way to the door. Danny's sure to give Mr. Heppenheimer some ever-so-slightly iridescent stink eye of his own to make him flinch, and then doubt himself for flinching. One good turn, and all that. "Seventh actually. Third a teacher noticed, but she's been weirding out a lot of the other students."

Danny grunts, more interested in shouldering other people out of the way to make it easier for Sam and Tucker to squeeze out into the hall. Hey, may as well get some mileage out of being one of the tallest guys in school, right?

Sam touches his elbow to make sure she's got his attention while they make their way to their next classes. She's got sign language, Tucker's got photography, and Danny's got a free hour to nap in the auditorium ceiling. "She's constantly dropping things, she's always shivering, every lie I've heard her tell a faculty member has been total nonsense, she hasn't gone after a single ghost in almost two weeks—"

"Well, that would explain why there's been an uptick in my fifth period snake-wrangling," Danny remarks dryly, then grins nastily at some girl giving him a serious case of side-eye. She squeaks—actually squeaks!—and ducks behind some broad-shouldered guy in an eye-wateringly neon football jersey.

Tucker wacks his other elbow, scowling up at him. "Dude, this is serious."

"I haven't heard a reason to care yet."

He doesn't have to look to see they're doing another round of psychic Concerned About Our Bestie back-and-forth. Sam's the one who trips him—damn her preference for steel-toed boots—but it's Tucker who shoves him into a nook between two battered banks of lockers. "Danny," they both snap.

He blinks down at them expectantly, staying quiet. Hey, they're the one's worried about the badass ghost fighting black belt who would love nothing more than an opportunity to strap Phantom down to an operating table and go wild with a cattle prod. He's just trying to graduate. Preferably with all his teeth.

"Valerie is acting just like you did freshman year," Sam hisses. "Right after the you-know-what."

Danny barks laughter. "Yeah, right."

Sam and Tucker remain stone-cold serious. Worse, they look worried.

They wouldn't suggest something so crazy without a lot of thought put into it.

Fuck.

It's another two days before Danny gets a good—"good"—opportunity to talk to Valerie one-on-one. During that time he sees first-hand no less than 37 incidents of irrefutable acts of half-ghost-hood. How nobody else—including that ass, Wes!—has caught on yet is nothing short of a miracle. Valerie cut ties with every other person in their graduating class after some disastrous party embarrassment Danny never cared enough to find out the details of secondhand. She's kept her head down and her teeth bared at anybody who’s tried to meet her halfway, and it seems everyone's accepted the fact that Valerie Gray is the second worst delinquent in the entire school.

(The first is him, naturally.)

He corners her three minutes before the bell to end lunch will ring. He's got calculus next—an unexpected good turn in his life that still makes him giggle every time he actually has time to do his homework—and she's got English. They can't afford to skip either class, but hey, you only half-die once, right?

She scowls up at him, twitching her head out of a habit she's not yet broken. She only shaved her head a month ago. He's still reeling over how good she looks, and also how much it makes her look like the awesome older Valerie from the horrible future where he and Vlad ghost-melded and murdered a dismayingly large number of humans. If that future is still somehow lingering out there in the tangled fabric of spacetime like a bad hangnail, he’s pretty sure that Valerie died, fullstop.

He’d like it if he could do something to help this Valerie not die, fullstop.

She scowls up at him harder. "What do you want?"

He allows himself another couple seconds to just—bask. Yes, she's hot as hell, and if they were both normal humans she could easily break him over her knee like a fistful of kindling. He's not yet gotten an inch of the Fenton width. He's basically all elbows, and it's now all but impossible to find shoes in his size. It's great, really, just super.

Mostly though, he holds his breath and lets his ghost sense settle in a chilly, wriggly knot in his lungs. How the hell did he not realize she was the cause before now?

He smiles down at her. It becomes immediately apparent that this is the worst possible thing he could have chosen to do. He stops smiling. Somehow that's worse.

"We need to talk," he says, and immediately wants to hit himself. Has daytime television not taught him anything? That's the worst thing he could have said!

"I don't think so," she says, and tries to edge past him. He catches her elbow—

—and she's got him smashed up against a classroom door before he can even blink.

"Uh," they say at the same time. He feels one of her hands go ice cube cold against his skin. Since it's him and not a normal person, it's far more likely her hand just dropped to some negative three-digit temperature. If he were human, he'd be at risk for frostbite. As he's not, it's more like a refreshing breeze. He swears he even gets a whiff of the Ghost Zone off of her; like a hard shock of static on his tongue in a midnight snowfall. It's... nice. Is that what he smell-feels like?

Hmm. Distracting himself. Best to stop doing that.

She realizes after too long a beat of awkward silence that one of her arms has gone full-ghostly, and springs back with a half-hysterical yelp. He turns around to look at her again, rolling his shoulder out of a long habit of pretending that Dash trying to rough him up actually feels like anything. She looks—

Well. Kind of like some kind of frazzled toy dog that's had to deal with way too many idiot humans manhandling her, and like she's pissed that all the finger-biting she's tried has only gotten her a bunch of braindead cooing. Danny finds himself sympathizing, and also like maybe he needs to vent to somebody else aside from Cujo on their 3 a.m. Thursday walkies. He considers several facial expressions he could make at her, dismisses all of them, and settles on upping the grimacing and shoulder-rolling. It sort of works? She looks guilty, which is honestly one of the better reactions she could be leveling at him right now.

"We really do need to talk, actually," he says, feigning an apologetic tone while pretending very hard he hasn’t noticed her left arm suddenly stops at the elbow.

"Pretty sure we don't," she retorts.

He makes a show of rolling his eyes, and then a show of looking pointedly at her invisible arm. She looks down at herself, does a double-take, yelps again, and hides both of her arms behind her back as she makes several stammering attempts at a believable excuse. Danny winces, torn between sympathy and secondhand embarrassment. Sam was right; this is exactly how he stumbled his way through the first six months of figuring out his powers. At least he had the benefit of a couple of friends and eventually Jazz too to help cover his tracks. Valerie's on her own. She's going to get found out at this rate, and accidentally or not she will drag him and Vlad down with her.

"It's okay," he says calmly.

"Everything's fine I don't know what you're talking about!"

He looks at her, unimpressed, until she looks appropriately embarrassed. "Let's try this again," he says, and puts both hands up to stall when she goes to retort. "Please?"

She purses her lips, huffing through her nose, but nods. Good enough.

"You're not okay," he tells her. "You're freaking out because something crazy happened to you, and you don't have anybody to turn to for answers without risking everything. You think you're a monster, or that you're dead, or you're dying, or some shitty combination of all of the above. You're scared because you can't control what's happening, and you're scared because you know you're gonna get caught at this rate, and you're scared because you know exactly what the GIW does to the ecto-entities it manages to get its hands on, because you're the reason half the ghosts that frequent Amity Park have done time in a GIW containment cell. Right?"

Valerie stares.

She keeps staring.

Eventually her mouth starts making some feeble attempt at protest.

A while after that she musters up the stamina to stammer out, "W-whahaaat are you talking about? I think you've got—ha! The wrong idea! Yeah! I bet you're thinking I'm, uh. Um. Possessed! Yes! I'm definitely possessed! You caught me, oh fuck, I'm definitely just another one of Walker's goons—nobody important though! No nefarious schemes going on either, honest! I just, uh, wanted to take a human… out for a spin? Yes, that’s what I’m doing. You definitely don't need to say anything to your parents—"

"Valerie," he says.

Her mouth snaps shut so hard her teeth click. She looks terrified, furious, and miserable all at once. She looks like she knows she's cornered, caught red-handed, and like she fully expects Danny to rat her out. Does she really think so little of him?

He winces inwardly. Of course she does. She's kept him at arm's length since freshman year because he never owned up the truth to her. She's been protecting him from himself all this time by staying away. She only knows the front he puts on for everybody else.

The bell rings. In a matter of seconds this hallway is going to be packed with students, and this is not a conversation to risk anyone overhearing. He looks around. Their options are to either continue this wedged in a janitor's closet (she'd probably shoot him), ghost her up to the roof (she'd definitely shoot him) or duck into a classroom. Luck's on his side for once. He'd cornered her just outside the wreckage of the wood shop; it's not going to be fit to teach in until after they graduate, and even the other, regular delinquents know better than to hang out anywhere with that much Fenton ectobiological hazard caution tape.

He nods toward the door. "Please?"

She looks like she'd much rather go toe-to-tail with Desiree, but the sound of a crowd surging their way decides for her. She bolts for the door, Danny at her heels, and they're in and hidden out of sight before anyone could see them go. He watches through a small hole in a stretch of opaque plastic sheeting, patiently waiting for the rest of the school to disperse into their various classrooms. There're too many holes in the wood shop's walls to risk talking even with all the noise out there.

Eventually the hall outside quiets. The late bell rings. It's about as safe as it'll ever get to have this talk.

"I can explain," she begins, her voice quiet and shaken.

"You don't have to," he says, and turns on the scary eyes as he faces her.

Three years of fighting nightmare monsters hasn't done Valerie the right kind of favors either. A metal cube materializes over her shoulder and flares brightly as it powers up a shot. She in turn steps smoothly into a defensive stance, light humming up and down her as she... doesn't pull her ghost-fighting suit out of the spectral hammerspace it sloughs off to whenever she doesn't need it. He blinks. He looks at the cube properly once it becomes clear she isn't going to shoot him. The light coming off it isn't pink anymore, but the same ghost-green as his own powers.

"Explain," she growls.

Probably not a good time for jokes. He keeps his serious face on, scary eyes and all. "I was in an accident freshman year. My parents couldn't get their ghost portal to work. They got lax about not letting Jazz and I down there unsupervised. I took Sam and Tucker down there one afternoon while they were out. One thing led to another, and I accidentally got their portal to work. While I was standing inside it."

She winces. Not like Jazz or Wes did when he stammered out the story to them just so they'd stop asking. Not in sympathy as they tried to imagine what that would have felt like and falling a thousand miles short (not that he ever said so). She gives him the same look he's seen in the mirror every time a bad dream of that day grabs him by the throat and shocks him awake. She knows.

"Don't shoot," he jokes weakly, and reaches for that cold spark that shares the same illogical, impossible space as his heart.

Another three cubes appear in a neat arc over her head when he changes, not that he blames her. She's just found out she dated her sworn enemy once upon a time. He's definitely surprised she doesn't shoot. She does go a bit deer in the headlights again, but more like a ghost deer that's just as likely to shoot lasers as it might bolt into traffic. "I," she tries. "You. You're. The whole goddamn time?!"

"Okay," he says. "Point of order. Cujo really wasn't my dog yet when I got your dad fired. That was an accident and I'm still very, very sorry about that."

Her eyes go ghost-red. "You wanna try that again?"

He sucks air in through his teeth, sighs out another blue wisp. She's doing it too. Has been the whole conversation actually, and plenty of other times before. He wonders if she's figured out what it means yet. He adds it to the list he's mentally compiling, keeps his hands up, and starts running his mouth as contritely as he can.

The sun's almost set by the time Danny's really, truly, fully convinced Valerie not to turn him into the half-ghost equivalent of Swiss cheese. He's so hungry he feels like he's nursing a gut wound, but he thinks it's the smart choice to not suggest talking all of this out over dinner. It's not like his allowance (and black hole of an appetite) would pay for more than clearing out the dollar menu at Jack-in-the-Box, and no way is he stupid enough to suggest Valerie pay. So he remains perched on one of the few remaining tables left in the wood shop, still in Phantom mode mostly to watch Valerie grind her teeth. She's sitting cross-legged on another table, cubes and scary eyes gone. She's reached the fun sort of balance between bone-tired exhaustion and impotent frustration with no good outlet that isn't the kind of violence that will draw a lot of unwanted attention. She sits there and stews awhile, turning over everything he's told her.

He pulls out his phone—tossing her a wry grin when she flinches—and lets her stew. He shoots out a "safe, taking longer than a thought it would" into the group chat he's got with Sam, Tucker, and Jazz. Tucker lets him know he's rooting for him, and also they handled the Box Ghost's usual afternoon showing with a game of checkers, and Wulf's in town avoiding Walker again. Sam reminds him to work on his book report if Valerie doesn't skin him alive first. He shoots back a neutral affirmative to them both, then pulls up Bubble Blaster to kill time until Valerie feels like talking—

"It was two weeks ago," she starts.

Danny resists the urge to sigh and pockets his phone again. Well, he mimes pocketing his phone. It sort of phases into that weird imaginary skin between his halves with a buzz of protest. When he changes back it'll be in his back right pocket, fully charged.

"Mister Masters," she pauses to make this really complicated grimace, like she'd sort of prefer calling Vlad something like Captain Fuckface but she's too polite to do it aloud. Danny makes a mental note to call Vlad exactly that the next time they run into each other. The fruitloop'll make a hilarious noise, he just knows it. "Mister Masters sent me info on another job. He told me some of his employees at Axion Labs had reported some ghost sightings, and my dad had mentioned seeing some weird stuff too, so. So I snuck out and went to go check it out. It didn't sound like anything bad, just. Y'know. Another ghost."

Two weeks ago her tone would have been one of complete, dismissive disgust. Two weeks ago she was still human though. Danny stays quiet, which is probably the smart thing to do.

"There was something on my radar when I got there. I thought it was gonna be you, honestly—" She glares, a flicker of red coloring her eyes. He shrugs and gives her a charming grin that's all, Who, me? She doesn't buy it for a second, not that he expected her too. Two weeks ago Vlad was being a real prick though, setting all sorts of nasty ghoulies he'd Frankenstein'd in his super gross secret lab loose in the downtown area. Danny's honestly not sure if he got any sleep for like, four straight days. There was a lot of doctored coffee involved, by which he means the kind of coffee a regular human couldn't drink without requiring a fairly immediate trip to the ER.

(Tucker Foley tested.)

"Most of the reports were from some department I've never heard my dad talk about, and it's all three levels underground. If Technus hadn't juiced my suit up again I don't think I could've gotten down there—"

That's an alarm bell Danny super doesn't like the sound of. "Again?"

She waves her hand dismissively that's all, So last year, honey, try and keep up. "Doesn't matter. Point is, I got down there, and it—well. It looked like the Fen—uh. Your parents' lab. Kind of identical, actually. In a kinda creepy way."

Yeah, that's Vlad all over. Kinda creepy and not all that original. Oh well. He raises his eyebrows pointedly.

"Uh. Well, my radar went crazy down there, but I still couldn't get a real bead on anything. So I went poking around and found the framework of this—well, portal. I didn't realize it was a portal though, since it didn't look like the one in your parents' lab. It was standing on its own in the middle of the room, covered in cables—"

"Ours is a mess too," he points out. "You can't tell unless it's off though. I'm not really sure where all those cables and weird hunks of tech go while it's on...."

She gives him a look like she's regretting not shooting him earlier. He does the smart thing by not pointing out that shooting him is still very much on the table, and that if history's anything to go by she's a huge fan of shooting him. He can't help but think that opinion might, just possibly, if he's very lucky, have changed in the last couple of hours. Fingers crossed? Those cube cannon things hurt like a bitch.

"I was looking around that thing because it was freaking my radar out when Plas—Mister Masters showed up."

He reels a bit. She must've expected it, because it's her turn to raise her eyebrows pointedly. "Wait," he says, holding his hands up in a time out T. "Wait a minute. You knew he's Plasmius? The whole goddamn time?!"

"No," she snaps. "Only after Danielle."

"That's nearly the whole goddamn time. What the hell, he's been lording you over me as a reason not to blab the truth for years. For fuck's sake, Valerie—"

"You wanna maybe shut up and let me finish, ghost kid?"

He scowls. She scowls back, plus scary eyes. He's pretty sure she's not doing it intentionally, so the effect's not as impressive as it could be. Red continues to be a great color for her though, not that he's dumb enough to say that.

"Plasmius showed up, blasted me into the portal, and hit the switch before I could do anything," she bites out, hunching in on herself like she's wishing the ground would swallow her whole—aaaand there she goes, sinking through the table. He clears his throat loudly, she realizes what's going on and ends up flailing around like an idiot for a few seconds until her body gets physical enough to stay put.

"Sam was right," he muses. "This is entertaining."

"Fuck you," she snaps without much venom. Mostly she sounds tired.

He sighs, hating himself a little for reasons he's not gonna explore right now. He's too hungry for introspection. "Did he evil-monologue why he did that to you?"

"A little. I was kinda out of it, after." She grimaces, gesturing at herself. "I didn't catch all of it. Something about being a distraction for you, though I didn't know that he meant you at the time."

"Oh goodie, this evil plot has layers, and ruining your life is apparently a fucking footnote." He scrubs his face with both hands and changes back into his plain Jane self. Valerie twitches badly, eyes flashing red and a fun eye-watering white shimmer shivering up her whole body. Huh. "Hey, have you tried changing back since that asshat zapped you?"

"Of course not," she hisses, looking at him like he just suggested she go streaking through the administration office. "I'm trying to keep a low profile while I figure out a way to fix what he did to me."

Ah, hell.

"I'm sorry," seems the smart thing to start with. He hops off the table, hands up where she can see them as he approaches her. He takes a risk at reaching for her hands. She surprises him again by continuing to not shoot him. "I'm really, really sorry. But there's no fixing this. You just get—better at being this." He squeezes a little when she starts shaking her head and pulling away, amping up the 'I'm sorry for your loss' face he's had to get way too good at. Superhero, he ain't. "I'm serious. Vlad's been like me—like us—since like, '85 or whenever he got zapped by a proto-portal, and he got really sick after."

Her eyes go big and laser pointer red again. "S-sick?"

"Ecto-acne. Ever hear of it?" She shakes her head. "You'll probably be okay, if Axion's portal is based on my parents' portal, or even Vlad's."

"He has a portal?"

"In Wisconsin," he confirms grimly. "He's been trying to build a second one ever since he moved here, but I kept messing with him. I didn't think to check the basements of any of his evil companies."

"Axion Labs isn't evil," she retorts instead of doing the sensible thing and blaming him outright for the shit she’s mired in for keeps.

He raises an eyebrow. "Sure. And Invis-o-Bill really is hellbent on establishing a ghost-human empire capital in Amity fucking Park."

She winces.

"Wait. You didn't actually believe that, did you?"

She winces harder.

"Ohhhh Valerie," he sighs, dropping her hands to melodramatically sag against another table. "I'm wounded. Honestly, truthfully, hurt that you'd think so highly of fucking Invis-o-Bill. Haven't you been paying attention to the shit the gossip mags shill about me? I'm either a ghost blob with delusions of grandeur in a skinsuit or the ostracized son of Pariah Dark and Desiree. You don't think my evil ghost parents have been around enough to teach me how to be a good evil emperor, do you?"

She's trying—and failing—not to laugh. "Shut up. How was I supposed to know what to believe, huh? None of the ghosts ever say shit about you."

"Yeah, 'cause they're cool with keeping my secret!"

She presses forward to jab a finger in his chest. She's still kind of flicker-y at the edges, like she hasn't quite decided she isn't going to go full ghost hunter on him, so it sort of feels like another hard burst of static. Goosebumps break out all down his skin; it's all he can do not to shiver. "What's with that, anyway? Most of 'em are so hellbent on destroying you for stopping them again and again, but none of them have ever come blabbing your big life-ruining secret to me or your parents!"

He shrugs. "Honestly? I don't think it's ever occurred to any of them. I'm pretty sure Skulker's the only one who knows like, for sure that Vlad's the same as me, and that's only 'cuz he likes to take jobs from Vlad now and then. The others?" Another, more expansive shrug as he slides sideways out of her range. So she makes him uneasy. What about it? She's only shot him point blank like, five hundred times if she's done it once. He'd really like to get out of this whole situation without any new burns to hide.

"Huh," she says. "Seriously?"

"Yeah. It's not—I dunno. I think it'd be like cheating for most of 'em to go blabbing to some humans or even Vlad. They wanna take me down, sure, but they wanna do it on their own steam. I'm definitely not complaining."

"Course you're not, because you are ludicrously overpowered compared to most of the ghosts out there itching for a little world domination."

He grins down at her, big and sloppy. "Hey, give it some time and you'll be OP as fuck too."

She reacts to that little nugget of wisdom just like he expected her to; retreating halfway across the room and shrinking in on herself like she's dearly wishing for a bit of time travel to undo what Vlad did to her on a selfish whim. Well. A conversation with Clockwork is an option still on the table. He'll give her a few more days of adjustment before suggesting a fun little jaunt into the Ghost Zone. He's honestly not sure if Clockwork and her are properly acquainted. That should be good for a laugh if nothing else.

"Hey," he says companionably. "I mean it. You're gonna be okay."

She scoffs. He pretends not to hear the dampness to it. "Oh, sure. So long as I do exactly what you say, right?"

"This isn't blackmail," he says, injecting as much calm as he can to his voice. "Honest. I mean, I won't lie and pretend I'm not hoping you listen to me. If you get found out it's both of our necks on the chopping block. Sure, I'll make sure Vlad takes the fall too, so that's some nice revenge wrapped with a bow, but it's not like we'd be around to really appreciate it, y'know?"

She makes another, slightly damper noise. He considers the risk of hugging her against the risk of walking away with all his parts where they ought to be, and he decides the smart thing is to stay put and pretend right along with her that she's definitely not crying.

"I want to help you, Valerie. I've been where you're at. I know how much it sucks. And I had Sam and Tucker helping me while I tried to figure it all out. You... you need somebody to help you. Trust me on this much at least, okay? This isn't something you can do alone."

Her various damp noises evolve into an outright sob. "Fuck."

Yeah. That about sums it up.

"Fuck," she hisses out again, pawing roughly at her face. "This. I didn't want—all this time and you never—I coulda killed you but you didn't—and now I'm—!"

Okay. Yeah. Superheroes don't leave anybody to cry so miserably on their own. He's hardy. Even if she shoots him he can hang out, make sure she's okay to get home on her own. And they both skipped their last two classes. He ought to go rummage around their teachers' desks and try to figure out what tonight's homework is. She's got every reason to burn her textbooks and scream fuck it at the moon (Danny's sophomore year was a personal low point), and it's just as likely Skulker will pull some new scheme to try and skin him tonight as any other school night, but it's the principle of the thing. They're both just trying to graduate at this point, and they're so close.

It might seem so incredibly, completely stupid, to care about graduating with all the other bullshit in their lives. Most days, it is stupid to care. But there are some days that stupid, pointless piece of paper is the only reason Danny chooses to get out of bed. He chooses to remember that he's still human enough for human consequences. He needs that diploma to get into college, and he needs to get into college so he can earn his bachelor's, and he needs to be stable enough to earn his pilot's license, and then somehow net 1,000 hours as pilot-in-command in a fucking jet, and on and on and on, because there's still this stupid, stupid, stupid little voice in his head that won't shut up about how cool it'd be to actually manage to become an astronaut despite—

—everything.

He wants to ask what Valerie wanted to be when she grew up, but that's... not now. That's a conversation for later, if he's lucky enough that she'll trust him with that little, foolish dream every kid clings to even when they're loudly proclaiming how stupid it is. Everybody grows up and realizes how stupid the dream jobs they wanted when they were kids was; it's the real dreamers that grit their teeth and keep working despite—

—everything.

He takes the risk, the leap of faith. He closes the distance between them and plays a pattern across her shoulder to warn her he's coming in for a hug. No cubes or guns or accidental ecto-rays materialize to blast him into next week, so he calls it a win and finishes the deed. She's all hunched shoulders and hard fingers knotted in his shirt, hot tears and probably some snot at war with how neutrally temperature-wise the rest of her feels. Everybody else—everybody human—feels hot as a sunburn if he gets too close. Ghosts are still too cold, though thanks to his handy-dandy ice powers none of them are ever cold enough to hurt like humans do.

Here and now, hugging Valerie and whispering soft, pointless bullshit into her frizzy hair is the closest to human he's felt in—

—in too long.

"I'm sorry," she says.

"Don't be," he replies, instead of Me too.

"Thank you," she says.

"Nothin' to thank me for," he replies, instead of You should be blaming me for this.

"I'm scared," she says.

"It's going to be okay," he replies, and means it.

It's almost nine by the time he makes it to Sam's house, and he's so hungry he tunnel visions twice on the flight over. Lucky him, his friends and secret keepers know how bullshit his anatomy is, and there's a veritable buffet awaiting him when he gets there. Luckier him, his friends and secret keepers know better than to try and hold a Serious Conversation when he's like this, and leave him alone for the better part of 20 minutes before they both start loudly clearing their throats.

He slows his flawless imitation of a combine harvester long enough to muster a, "Hngh?"

Sam and Tucker waste precious moments he could be upping his calorie count with another psychic conversation that they're clearly both enjoying. He scowls, for all the good it'll do him.

"How'd it go?" Sam asks.

"Well," he says, setting his fork down to wipe his mouth with the back of his hand. Manners, schmmaners. "She didn't shoot me."

"Damn it," Tucker says loudly, and pulls out his phone.

"Seriously?" Danny asks.

"He owes Jazz twenty bucks," Same explains as Tucker begins a furiously-typed text. Danny suppresses the urge to shudder. Something about the haptic feedback on cell phones really sets him on edge. He genuinely doesn't know if it's a pet peeve or a ghost thing. Either way he always has to squash the insane urge to pitch Tucker's phone at the nearest brick wall, and right now that is an honest struggle.

"Seriously?" He repeats. "You bet against me?"

Tucker pauses long enough to level an incredulous glare at him. "Dude."

...yeah, okay. That's fair. Danny would've bet against himself too, if he'd known to.

"Rude," he says anyway, on principle.

Sam and Tucker both make a huge show of rolling their eyes, but at least Sam pushes another three slices of pizza in his direction. They even ordered in, so there's actual meat and cheese on it. He has the best friends a guy could ask for, even if Tucker is an ass nine times out of ten. Serves him right to lose 20 bucks, voting against him against his sister of all people.

"Details," Sam demands. "How's she doing, what happened, is she gonna stop trying to kill you, et cetera."

"Vlad happened," he manages through half a slice of pizza. Sam and Tucker both wince; Tucker hard enough he actually drops his phone.

"Fuck," Tucker hisses. "Why?"

"Dunno yet. And I dunno about you, but figuring out his latest scheme has definitely become number one on my honey do list."

They both nod. Tucker's the one to ask the important follow up. "And Valerie? How's she doing?"

He makes a seesaw motion with one hand. "Again, gotta stress the whole 'didn't shoot me' thing." He grins real sleazily while Tucker groans. "She's not great though. I foresee the next like, two months helping her out taking priority over all the usual ghost bullshit. Short of like, apocalyptic ghost attacks, of course."

"Fair," Sam and Tucker both say. Sam gives him a pointed capital L Look, going so far as to pull his plate a few inches away so he can better direct his instinctive growl at her. "She's not gonna rat, is she?"

"No," comes out more snarl-y than he means it to, but—pizza. Sam takes him at face value at least, and gives him his plate back, with an extra slice of meat lover's for good behavior. She's his favorite.

"We're gonna co-op," he adds, and pretends not to notice the Extraordinarily Concerned Psychic Look Sam and Tucker share over that bit of news. Whatever. They can stress over the idea of Valerie being included in their group. Him? He's gonna polish off the rest of this pizza, pull his one (1) notebook and one (1) pencil out of his bag, and he's going to get as much of a headstart on his homework before patrol as he can. If he actually manages to finish his two pages of grammar problems he's going to call it a great day. Anything else? Well, that's gravy so far as he's concerned.

He grins to himself a little, thinking of Valerie's new phone number burning a hole in his pocket. If anything toothsome decides to show up tonight he got the okay to text her. And honestly? For all that she's in the same bullshit hell as he, Vlad, and Elle are....

Well. It's probably shitty of him, but it's still nice to have an ally and friend in this half-ghost bullshit hell.

#danny phantom #my writing #valerie gray #gray ghost #phic phight 2020

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