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But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Matthew 6:33
#matthew 6:33#coptorthodox#bible#bibleverse#coptic#orthodox#bibleversedaily#dailyverse#dailybibleverse#copticorthodox#kingdomofgod#seek first#how to pray
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Seeking God's Kingdom: A Blueprint for Purposeful Living
Finding true purpose can seem impossible in a world filled with distractions and competing priorities. However, the Bible offers a clear and powerful directive in Matthew 6:33 (NKJV): "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you." This verse provides a blueprint for living a life of purpose and fulfillment.
But what does it mean to seek God's kingdom first? Simply put, it means making God's will and purposes the top priority in your life. This involves aligning your goals, decisions, and actions with God's plan. It's about living out His values in your daily life, whether at home, work, or community.
When prioritizing God's kingdom, we shift our focus from temporary, worldly concerns to eternal, spiritual matters. This doesn't mean we ignore our earthly responsibilities but approach them with a kingdom perspective. We begin to see our jobs, relationships, and even our challenges through the lens of God's greater purpose.
One of the beautiful promises in this verse is that when we seek God's kingdom first, "all these things shall be added to you." This speaks to God's provision. It doesn't mean we'll get everything we want, but rather that God will provide what we truly need. This promise allows us to let go of worry and anxiety about our daily needs and instead trust in God's care.
Seeking God's kingdom also involves pursuing righteousness. This means striving to live a life that pleases God and making choices that align with His Word and character. It's important to note that this pursuit isn't about achieving perfection but progress and growth in our faith and obedience.
Maintaining this kingdom's focus requires an eternal perspective. We must remember that this life is temporary, but God's kingdom is forever. This perspective helps us make wiser decisions, invest in what truly matters, and find comfort during difficult times.
In conclusion, seeking God's kingdom first is a transformative approach to life. It provides purpose, reduces anxiety, ensures God's provision, and keeps us focused on what truly matters. The challenge is to consistently apply this principle in our daily lives. So, let's commit today to seeking God's kingdom first in all we do. How might your life change if you genuinely put God's kingdom and righteousness first?
The Scripture Collection A compilation of 20 uplifting music videos inspired by a different Bible scripture. First Edition: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rv1XEZzrCvE Second Edition: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ucV8yJIEsvc
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Website: https://bwpub.net/
I've created the song "Seek First" in three different genres from Matthew 6:33.
bengali surf rock https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9-ZiW8cu9fI city pop symphonic metal https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yX4FaTVKXA8 dark alternative rock https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WtNZnlx0bG8
#Matthew 6:33#seek first#kingdom of God#purpose#priorities#God's provision#righteousness#eternal perspective#Christian living#faith challenge
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August 21, 2024 Verse Of The Day
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#All Things#Given#God&039;s Kingdom#God&039;s righteousness#Matthew 6:33#seek first#Seeking#Verse of the Day
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MARCEL EDWIN – SEEK FIRST LYRICS
SEEK FIRST LYRICS BY MARCEL EDWIN Seek first the kingdom of the Lord Every other will be added unto you (x2) HOOK 1: The message of Love yeah Is the message of the Kingdom The message of Love yeah Is the message of Freedom. VERSE 1 Spread the news around the world let them know Preach the word everywhere let the hear, Tell them that God is loving, Let them know his kingdom is loving too If you…
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Seek First...
Today’s Manna in the Word:Seek first… “Before anything else I do, I do this…”That is what seek first means.You make that one thing primary.It is first. Jesus said we should do this concerning God, our Heavenly Father. “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” ��Matthew 6:33 NKJV I think we go through that verse too quickly…
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#dave doc rogers; doc rogers writes; God; Jesus; Holy Spirit; Christ; christian; Bible; christian#Father God#God#Manna in the Word#seek first
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for me at least, theres always been a really stark divide in the 'child character is the main antagonist' sort of stories.
on one hand. theres stories that rely on the shock factor of a child being evil, because we're supposed to believe that kids arent capable of that sort of thing. i guess its supposed to be frightening but the novelty always wears off really quickly for me.
i think 'a child is the villain' always lands most successfully for me when a kid is given power beyond their years (either by adults around them or otherwise supernatural/societal forces) and then everyone is floored when they arent exactly responsible with that power. and sometimes theyre even selfish! not because that kid is evil, but because theyre a kid.. acting like a kid would in their situation.
it means that any sort of story that follows requires a protagonist to reason with someone who may not even understand the harm theyre doing, or worse - not have the life lived to understand why they should care in the first place. and also, i think watching what happens when u have an destructive force seeking comforts that any child deserves doing whatever they can to have those things is (to me) much more interesting than 'child who is fucked up and evil for no reason but being born that way actually'
#a lot of people have pointed it out but molly from pokemon has stuck with me for years since i first watched that movie#and subsequently i think inspired mars#but im noticing this with thistle as well. falin is my favorite characyrr but thistle almost stole that spot by the end. maybe theure tied#just like.... a kid being adultified by a culture of ppl they were pushed into and handed responsibility beyond their years#when its clear they were only ever seeking a family/warmth... aaugggh. aughhh#thistle i love you. my baby
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I love the titans very much
#Idk if its obvious that this is my first time ever drawing cyborg#Dick is STRESSIN#He should know better to not contain a speedster#Beast raven or whatever their ship name is#I Stan#Seek comfort within yourself#But like with a dead version of yourself#Titans#donna troy#dick grayson#wally west#raven teen titans#rachel roth#Victor stone#Blrd🤼♀️🤼♀️#Post once a month then dissapears
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before you know about women, you hear that you do not need to love the man, just that you need to love him through his manhood. which is to say you have seen the future painted in lamb's blood over your eyes - how your mother shoots you a look about your father's inability to cook right. how your aunt holds her wineglass and says i'm gonna kill em. men, right! how your best friend bickers with her boyfriend, how she says i can't help it. i come back to him.
you learn: men are gonna cheat. men aren't going to listen when you're talking, because you're nagging. men think emotions are stupid. they think your life is vapid and your hobbies are embarrassing. men will slam things, but that's because men are allowed to be angry. if you get loud, you're hysterical. if a man gets loud - well, men are animals, men are dogs, men can't control their hands or their eyes or their bodies. they're going to make a snide comment about you in the locker room, about your body, about how you're so fucking annoying. you're going to give him kids, and he will give you the money for the kids, and you're going to be running the house 24/7 - but he gets to relax after a long day, because his job is stressful. the man is on stage, and is a comedian, and says "women!"
and you are supposed to love that. you are supposed to love men through how horrible they are to you - because that's what women do. that's what good women do. wife material. your father even told you once - it'll make sense when you're older. it was like staring down a very lonely tunnel.
it feels like something's caught in your throat, but it's all you know, so. it's okay that you see sex as a necessary tool, a sort of okay-enough ritual to keep him happy, even though he doesn't seem to care about happiness as-applied-to you. it is relationship upkeep. it is kissing him and smiling even though he didn't brush his teeth. it is getting on your knees and looking up and holding back a sigh because he barely holds you as you panic through the night. it's not like the sex is bad and you do like feeling wanted. and besides! he's a man! like... they're another species. you'll never be able to actually communicate, right. he isn't listening.
you just don't get it. you don't feel that sense of i'm gonna climb him like a tree. mostly it just feels fucking exhausting. you play the part perfectly. you smile and nod and are "effortlessly" charming. and it's fine! it's alright! you even love him, if you're looking. you could have good life, and a good family, and perfectly happy.
in the late night you google: am i broken. you google i'm not attracted to my husband. you google i get turned on by books but not by him. you google how to get better in bed.
the first time he yells at you, it almost feels like blankness. like - of course this is happening. this is always how it was going to end up. men get angry, and they yell, and you sit there in silence.
you mention it to your friend - just the once - while you're drunk. she shrugs and says it's like that with me too, i just try to forget and move on. men are always gonna hear what they want to. pick your battles and say sorry even though he's in the wrong. you play solitaire online for a month. you go to your therapist appointment and preach about how you're both so in love.
after all, you have a future to want. nobody lied about it - how many instagram posts say marriage is hard. say real love takes work. say we fight like cats and dogs but the best part is that we always make up. how many of your friends say happy anniversary to the best and worst thing to ever happen to me. if you really loved him - loved yourself too - you'd accept that men are just different from you.
the first time she kisses you, it's on a dare at a party. something large and terrifying whips through your body. you wake up sweating from dreams where her mouth is encrusted with pearls and you pick them off one by one with your teeth. fuck. you sit at the computer and your almost-finished game of sim city. you think about your potential perfect life and your potential future family. you google am i gay quiz with your little hands shaking.
you delete each letter slowly. you don't need to love him. you just need to keep going.
#warm up#writeblr#this is also about being ace btw#my identity has slowly shifted over time and maybe if everyone is REAL cool i'll talk bout it#bc it's complicated and nuanced. but this is like#trying to warn u that if you find it “relationship upkeep” to have sex with ur partner#and don't actually enjoy it or seek it for urself. u might just not be attracted to them.#which is fine ! ace ppl can be perfectly happy in any relationship they feel good in!#but also i wasn't as straight as i had expected!#> the first time i saw dick i was like. huh. oh okay that's fine i guess#> the first time i saw pussy i was like. WAIT ACTUALLY HANG ON I GET IT#i just assumed sex wasn't all it was cracked up to be ya know#but also like. btw? this IS NOT saying ''u might be gay not ace''#bc tbh i'm grey ace/demisexual#it's saying u might not be into ur partner. explore urself & ur feelings. turn inward.#TAKE THIS IN THE MANNER IT WAS MEANT> GENTLE AND KIND#AND NOT IN A WEIRD INTERNET WAY PLEASE#bc the truth is that there ARE ppl who are gay who assume that they just ''don't like'' sex#and ace ppl who might need a different partner w/different needs#and i would have REALLY needed to hear ''check in w/urself about if u actually like sex''#WAY EARILIER in my life. but nobody said anything bc they assume if ur having sex. u like it.#not just the actual act of sex. not once ur turned on. do you ACTUALLY like it. or is it a burden?#even if ur gay. check w/urself. maybe ur more ace than u realized. in which case. ADDITIONAL FLAG BB#i love collecting my flags. i'm at like 354 at this point#but also btw this is about how toxic relationships are SO normalized that u can be in one#and have everyone around u being like ''THATS JUST MEN LOL''
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Sometimes our emotions get the better of us. You can say that again.
#mobius#loki#lokius#mcuedit#lokiedit#marveledit#loki spoilers#cafeteria scenes my beloved 🥺💖#another day waking up reeling at the thought of meeting a person unconditionally accepting of your entire past present and future#and becoming someone who seeks growth from wanting to offer that back to build an equal partnership for the first time!#the way mobius openly likes and accepts all the things about loki everyone else tried to hide or push down oh i'm so emo ;;;;;#maybe i'm overdoing my emoji use while giffing them this season BUT they haven't looked at each other with anything except heart eyes so#take it up with them and their choices 😂#owen wilson#tom hiddleston#loki s2 spoilers#marvel#owenwilsonedit#dianagifs
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Sorry for not having a Year of the Dragon MDZS artwork; Unfortunately, I can only picture Dragon LWJ in this particular flavour.
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#wei wuxian#Dragon AU#MDZS AU#noodleji#(IT'S A REAL TAG!!! AAH!!! THROWING MY HAT TO THE LITTLE GUY LOVERS!)#Yes I watched Fruits Basket in my teen years and yes it left a significant impression on me.#'The Dragon Transforms' and its just into a small little guy.#Even more points if the human form is a Tall Guy.#Sadly this does not appear to be a common nor popular variation so I will sit on my little hill alone. (EDIT: I WAS WRONG)#Dragon LWJ probably would be some kind of river dragon. Lesser god of a small stream.#One that grows bigger with time but always has the reputation of being benevolent and calm to those who seek its clear waters.#Do not pollute these waters or your ass is going to be bit. 1000 tiny puncture marks.#I imagine that's probably how wwx first meets him (accidently pours booze into lwj's river) (gets bit - gets bit - gets bit-)#WWX eventually befriends him through stubbornly showing up every week to give him offerings.#Takes him into town in a little pot of water to show him how the people live. Maybe go to a festival.#When the day is done and he's back in his river and alone - LWJ finally feels a new emotion...it is longing and loneliness.
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when solomon has sex with you for the first time, he makes sure to absolutely worship your body. during the first kiss scene with him, he said he's been waiting for a chance to do it. so with this, he's going to make sure his patience will pay off. not an inch of your skin will be unloved by him. it may have taken so long, but the end result will be perfect as the two of you are satisfied, love growing by the second
(Ooh, thank you for the food, anon!! Solomon's first kiss scene will forever have my heart) Reader is GN! :)
Minors DNI!
"Why don't you come just a little closer?"
You shift a little closer until there's no space between you two on the bed, and his lips are back on yours. His hand comes up to cradle your jaw, softly rubbing his thumb along to solidify in his mind that you are here and that this is happening.
Somehow, miraculously, he finally got you alone...and you want him too.
Though he fears he'll get too eager and move too fast for your liking, leading to crossing a boundary or scaring you away. So, he's careful, treating you as if you were glass, slow to do anything more than kiss you like this. Truthfully, he could just do this all night and he'd still be over the moon. But he can't deny in his heart the need for more.
His hand on your jaw slowly slides down your neck, simply letting his fingertips brush against the sensitive skin. It's warm, and he can feel your pulse thrumming just beneath. He wonders how it would feel against his lips.
Solomon reluctantly pulls away from your lips, leaning down to instead kiss along the column of your neck. It elicits a soft gasp, and he feels giddy that he can get such a cute response from you. It only serves him to want to hear more. A secondary motive.
With each article of clothing he removes from your body, he falls deeper in love as he sees his person bared completely to him. It signifies the trust you've built together. And he'll do everything to never lose it - a promise he quietly makes to himself.
From your neck, he lavishes kisses along your collarbones, down both of your arms, your shallowly rising and falling chest, your soft stomach, all the way down to your naval. Any further is iffy territory and he wants explicit permission before he does anything more.
Through a husky tone, he asks, "is this okay? Can I continue?"
Your approval and reassurance are resounding. The weight of worry eases a little, but he's still tentative to continue. He wants you to feel good. He wants this first time with you to be perfect. He can't help it, he's an ancient sorcerer in love for the first time in a very long time...if ever.
So, slowly, he ventures onward to where he sees the obvious impact he's had on you tonight. His talented silver tongue makes you squirm on the bed, your hands tangling in his soft locks as his name tumbles out of your mouth like a prayer. The taste of your sweet arousal is something he fears he could get addicted to.
Solomon can feel his own arousal growing past anything he's ever experienced before. He didn't know he had the capacity to feel so needy for someone else. Good lord, just what are you doing to him?
Once he feels he's prepped and pleasured you enough with his tongue and dexterous fingers, he pulls away to finally undress and bare himself to you. His eyes shift away nervously as he feels you studying his body now. He knows his skin is marred from centuries of living; the countless pact marks, scars he doesn't remember the stories of, and burns from experiments gone wrong. He's never felt self-conscious like this before, but it's another product of what you do to him.
When you sit up on the bed, crawling to him to brush your fingers along his skin, it takes his breath away. You aren't afraid to explore him. Tracing his pact marks, kissing his imperfections, never once showing disgust like he might've thought.
No, only care.
Solomon gently chases you back down onto the bed, crawling over your excited form with smiles and giggles exchanged in the otherwise quiet room. Once again, he gets your staunch permission before continuing. And once again, you reassure him that this is what you want. Any lingering doubt subsides, and with that, he lines himself up with your entrance and slowly slides in, letting you adjust once he's fully settled within you.
"D-Deus meus..."
His forehead rests against yours as his breathing turns ragged, reveling in how goddamn good you feel around him. It takes all of him to be patient, but he waits for your signal, and once he has it, he doesn't hesitate to start moving.
His hips snap against yours in deep, measured thrusts. Passionate kisses are shared, soft moans and grunts fill your ears, and his hands never once stop exploring your body. The love he gave it earlier wasn't nearly enough.
There's no rush. It's not frantic - it's not even desperate. It's slow and intimate as he guarantees you both feel good in this one moment of solitude.
Solomon isn't even thinking about afterwards or what those brothers might say. He's fully entranced by you. He makes love to you as if it's the last time he ever will.
Soon he brings you both to a mind-shattering orgasm. His body shudders above yours as he buries his face in your neck. The way you clench around him makes him consider asking for a second round. Though, he wants to take a break more - to love and care for you as needed. As carefully as he can, he pulls out, already missing being enveloped by you and your sweet body. The second his fatigued self hits the bed, you instantly cuddle up to him, locking him in place for the foreseeable future.
To say he's a little shocked is an understatement. Sure, you both just shared a moment of passion and pleasure, but there was still some part of him that wondered if you really wanted him. For you to take the initiative to cuddle up to him in the afterglow touches his heart. Solomon wraps his arms around you, humming at the shared warmth between your sweaty bodies and shielding you from the world outside of this room.
Tonight you're his. And he knows he'll always be yours.
#it be latin: deus meus - my god#couldn't help myself hehe#i dropped some angst into this but it's find and seek where's waldo edition... i.e. meaning it's not a lot#what's a little sex scene without a little sadness am i right?#edit: this is so hypnosis by sleep token coded#edit 2: i made some very minor changes because i wasn't completely happy with it the first time so if it's a little different that's why :p#obey me#obey me smut#obey me shall we date#obey me solomon#obey me solomon smut#solomon smut#obey me solomon x reader#jo writes spice
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"Stillborn? No, no, still born." -- DPXDC AU
Based off a comment I saw where Bruce knew about Talia's pregnancy in the earlier comivs, and was ecstatic to be a father. So much so that Talia feared he'd give up being Batman for it, so when she gave birth she put the baby (Damian) on a doorstep and (seemingly) told Bruce that the baby was stillborn.
Instead of Damian, that baby was Danny! Meet Daniel Brown, the 14 year old foster kid whose been living with the Fenton family for the last two years. He's about two years older than Damian.
His last name, "Brown", was a generic surname given to him because the note he came with didn't have one on it. It just had the name "Danyal" on it, but albeit 'Daniel' was the one that had been put into the system for, I'll be totally frank here, racism reasons.
(I looked it up to make sure, and it's generally not permissible for foster parents to change the names of their foster kids even if it's a permanent residency, and for that reason Danny doesn't have the last name "Fenton".)
Danny's got ✨~issues!~✨ He's been through a handful of homes growing up, most of them terrible for a variety of reasons. Which has, as a result, left lasting scars. He's generally a very sweet kid, just very distrustful and jumpy. He's got the signs of a kid suffering from PTSD, and a handful of other issues including attachment and insomnia. His inferiority complex could rival Damian's, and that's going to make for an interesting mutual hatred for when they finally meet.
(something I'll get into later)
He still has the blanket he was found in. It's made of a very high quality material and is a beautiful emerald green with little golden thread accents, it's high quality as a result has Danny clinging onto a desperate hope that his bio family might be out there, and the only reason they gave him up was because of some outside factor. It's been taken a few times in old foster homes, and he's flipped out each time.
While he still calls Jack and Maddie by their names, he likes them well enough. The bar isn't that high though, and while they're some of the better foster parents he's had, "better" doesn't equal "safest". Their laboratory malpractice. Basically, C- Fenton Parents. They're negligent by virtue of being engrossed in their work, but they do care equally about Jazz and Danny. So he doesn't hold it against them that much.
He kinda prefers it that way, their loud affection is overwhelming and Danny doesn't know what to do with their attention, even if he craves it. It's a bit of a complicated situation.
They took in Danny because they genuinely wanted another child, but didn't want a big age gap between them and Jazz. It was actually Jack's idea to foster, and they discussed it with Jazz beforehand. She was all for the idea. Thus, a handful of weeks later, a ton of paperwork, and inspection later, and Daniel Brown entered their household with a trash bag in one hand and eyes like shards of stained glass.
His relationship with Jazz is kinda strained, but that's by virtue of her constant psychoanalyzing and helicoptering. Like with the parents, Danny's overwhelmed by the attention and also just, straight up doesn't like the fact that she's telling him that there's something wrong with him. He knows that, thank you. He pushes her away when she does this.
Other than that though? When Jazz isn't smothering him and is acting like an actual sibling and not a third parent, they're pretty close, and Danny really likes her. They've hung out a few times on their own volition, and Jazz showed him how to take better care of his long hair.
His school situation,, pretty similar to canon with the bullying, albeit with a few more instances of him blowing a fuse and lashing out against his attackers. He's a rather angry kid, but it's quiet. It builds up, piles on top of itself, until eventually, like a volcano, it erupts and burns everyone within radius.
Danny's got a fire core, not an ice core. Phantom's hair is made of white magma; thick and heavy, setting itself on fire when his anger runs hot. When he gets angry, his skin begins to char and split open to reveal pulsating lava underneath, and he crackles and pops like a raging forest fire.
I haven't decided yet on how he meets the batfam -- i've got two ideas but they're both in opposition to each other, and drastically alter how the rest of the plot goes. But I do know that him and Damian hate each other in the beginning. And it has nothing to do with inheritance or "being the blood son" -- although their blood relation absolutely plays the major role in their disdain for each other.
Simply put, they're jealous of each other for the same thing: thinking that the other was wanted.
Damian hates Danny because, unlike Damian, Bruce knew about Danny since conception and wanted him from the moment he heard about him. He had a whole nursery set up, and still does. He never took it down -- just locked the door. Damian was thrust upon Bruce without warning, and he feels like he forced himself into the family. And while on some level Damian knows and understands that Bruce wants him and loves him as much as his other children, that doubt and feeling of inferiority still remains. He looks at Danny and sees him with what Damian always feels he needs reaffirmed.
Meanwhile, Danny hates Damian because he looks at him and sees him with everything Danny's ever wanted. He hates him because Damian grew up knowing both of their parents, with one of them for most of his life, and then moved over to the other. There was never a moment where Damian was (seemingly) left to doubt his place within the family. Damian was raised with the very same woman who left Danny on a doorstep, with no clue to his identity beyond a little green blanket and a note with only a first name. Damian was wanted everywhere, and Danny was wanted nowhere. Damian is Danny's replacement in his eyes.
(It's the little revelation that Damian grew up with their mother that elevates Danny from being quietly envious of Damian to downright despising him. What did Damian do, that Danny didn't? He could live with Damian living with Bruce -- Bruce didn't know Danny was even alive. But him living with their mom? Are you fucking kidding him?)
Damian never outright attacks Danny physically, but it's not like he hides that he didn't like Danny. Meanwhile, Danny, in all his repressive anger, quietly despised him from a distance until finally one wrong snide side-comment has him blowing up and it becomes a screaming match. They're both just enough similar to each other that when they look at each other they really just see a mirror.
They'll work it out together, eventually. But it'll be ugly and cruel and explosive, and they'll start mending the bridge to become brothers in more than just blood relation in the end.
But yeah, stillborn Danny has... a lot going for him.
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc crossover#danyal al ghul au#danyal al ghul#dpxdc prompt#additions. opinions and brainstorming are encouraged!! i'd love to hear what other people's thoughts on this are and brainstorm with them.#the brainstorming is the best part.#stillborn? no still born au#poc danny fenton#stillborn au#long haired danny fenton#danny isn't surprised by the fact that the fentons were greenlit for foster parenting considering some of the foster parents HE'S had#those two ideas differed in who found out about who first. Whether it be Bruce or Danny. bruce finding out about danny first results in#Bruce seeking him out first and being able to explain his side of the story first without misunderstandings. this is the Happy Version#Danny finding out about Bruce first results in him getting an official DNA test done and intentionally seeking him out to introduce himself#except when he finds out about damian's existence his shit self worth results in him jumping to the conclusion that his bio family never#wanted him in the first place. that they weren't looking for him and instead just up and replaced him. This is the Fucking SAD Version#and includes a conversation where Danny looks Batman dead in the eyes and tells him that he was 'daddy dearest's fucking reject'#danny completely unaware that batman = bruce wayne btw. for the extra angst. bruce has to stand there and take it. rip#this poor boy needs antidepressants. therapy. and rehab. probably. i've thought about him having an old addiction that he was recovering#from prior to the fentons. but its not confirmed yet. if i go through with it its either gonna be nicotine or like painkillers. i need to#wait and think about it when i'm not on the angst train. i have a tendency to go overboard when i am. its the endorphin high#Danny calls Damian his 'fucking replacement' and Damian tackles him.#starry makes another angsty au
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#togepi#looming#i think i can see why this one won!#anyway when i see this thing i think of the one episode of the anime that i SWEAR exists#i swear i'm not making this up#where it's like. an episode with no human characters. all pokémon. i think it's ash's team on a beach resort or some shit#and there's no dialogue outside of the pokémon saying their own names and the narrator describing what's happening#and they all go play hide & seek. and there's like a whole musical montage of them going and playing hide & seek#and. i swear this fucker was in it. and that's all i really remember about it#i think it was gen 2ish gen 3ish?? bc i remember the johto starters being in it and being a big focus#so it might've been gen 2#and by the time this post actually goes up on the blog i will have forgotten i wrote all this so if you leave comments#i will probably be confused at first but i will remember eventually
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have been in a qijiu/qiyuan mood lately, and i was thinking about an au where shen yuan, upon transmigrating, actually loses his memories. he wakes up and has no idea who he is, where he is, who the man at his bedside is. not a clue. the only thing he has is his muscle memory, his sharp recognition senses (he's experiencing a lot of déjà-vu), and blurry fractions of memories that he can't quite make out.
thing is, the memories of both shen yuan and shen jiu aren't actually gone, they start to intermingle, to mix up, a little sister in princess pajamas beside an older brother wearing dirty rags, a bright screen that displays mountain peaks and glittering caves. he's kind and generous the way someone who has never had to worry about food or money is, but he gets vicious and defensive when someone gets too close. sometimes he says cruel things and doesn't even understand why himself.
neither identity fits anymore, both names right and wrong at the same time. it's just... shen qingqiu.
and while everyone else might adjust to this just fine, yue qingyuan does not. because that is shen jiu, but it isn't, but it has to be, but not always. he gets flashes of his childhood friend when shen qingqiu gets viciously defensive over nothing, when he scowls and scoffs and rolls his eyes when he thinks people can't see, but then he smiles, and laughs, and tilts his head in a way that is completely foreign. he likes beasts. shen jiu never liked beasts. but he loves tanghulu, like shen jiu. sweet sugary things. the first time xiao jiu cuddles up into his hug, he cries.
the way he sometimes clings to yue qingyuan when he has a bad day can't be him, but then he says "qi-ge" exactly like shen jiu would and damn near snarls at anyone who gets too close, and he's aggressively possessive the way he was when they were kids. but then he pulls away and apologizes, like shen jiu would never do.
and he never demands anything, scrubbed clean from roughness and filth and selfish want, will act perfect and smiling and pleasant, never burdensome. like he's completely forgotten where he came from, what he was. like the pampered nobleman's son who could afford to be kind. the only time his old self comes fully back up is when he feels threatened or scared or angry, like a trauma response that kicks in to protect himself. and then yue qingyuan starts to wonder if maybe it is. maybe the shen jiu he knows was only ever fear and self-preservation, and the one he is now is a shen jiu without the chains and shackles and scars.
yue qingyuan doesn't know if he's happy for him, if it's for better or for worse. he does know that he feels protective and responsible for this new version xiao jiu has become.
meanwhile shen qingqiu, even when he regains enough of his memories to realize he was once a different person, doesn't know who he is anymore. both, maybe. or neither. he feels bad for taking away yue qingyuan's friend, but in his heart he can't help but think qi-ge is his brother, and no one else's. when he manages the peak he feels like he's taking credit for another's accomplishments, but he remembers suffering for it, he remembers what it took to get there.
#more guilt for everyone!#yue qingyuan being so touch starved and desperate that he takes advantage the first chance he has#by cooking and making tea and holding his xiao jiu#shen jiu calls him qi-ge and he KNOWS what that means#but he can't bring himself to say anything when shen jiu is seeking comfort in him#he wants to be shen jiu's place of home and comfort so painfully desperately badly that hell take anything and not let go#and shen qingqiu struggles with the intense need to be close to yue qingyuan. to be held and comforted#because he feels so terribly lonely and rejected and abandoned#even when he knows that part of him has no right to feel that way because it has nothing to do with him#anyway i was in the mood for pain#hope you like it#svsss#scum villain#qijiu#qiyuan#shen jiu#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#yue qingyuan#amnesia au
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#roblox doors#doors roblox#doors figure#doors halt#doors seek#doors screech#my art#it's so funny seeing how different my style is compared to when i first drew them#i saw someone draw figure as a leech once and it has not left my brain since
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isn't it a little messed up that in orv your story is you. your soul. your sense of self. your life. and your relationships
isn't it a little fucked up that yoo joonghyuk thought that his story came to an end when the lone reader went away. that his life ended when kim dokja left. save me from this hell
#joongdok#orv#the fact hes giving emphasis to his reader but not his author urghhh#when he cant handle it anymore he goes to her so that he can die#when he wants to die he goes to his author but when he wants to live he seeks his reader im gonna be sick first thing in the morning#and he wants to live more than anything despite his tragedy#fuck you orv (affectionate)#yoo joonghyuk#kim dokja#i swear i love them a normal amount (lie)
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