#seeing their idol make a post might drive them to learn more

[placetneplacet]

Joong Archen is a good egg.

Having grown up in Turkey I imagine he has an even better understanding of the conflict and history.

It’s one of those things that is small and may seem unimportant, but I hope it points to a larger shift in the world as a whole.

[pretzel-box]

Last post for today

STREAMER AU FACTS

About Sebastian:

-He's streaming since his early teen years. He had a cringe youtube channel that he deleted later on. His name was xXSebasti-BamHDXx

-He started streaming because he wanted the streaming rewards for a game he played. He kept the habit after seeing how many viewers he actually had.

-He plays the electric guitar in his free time. One of his follower specials was a hand reveal where he played a few songs.

-He prefers to drive around with his motorcycle than the car. Sebastian is a biker, doesn't claim that as a hobby tho.

-He has ear piercings. He had them for few years. His friend pierced his ears while both were drunk. If you squint, you can see how his ear piercings are slightly uneven.

- Sebastian wanted a male roommate. He only let you move in because he finds you cute.

-He works at the local company called Urbanshade. He's in the same department as you, you are co-workers.

- Sometimes it doesn't look like it but hes actually high-fashion and very neat. He could work as a model

-Can and will wear his hair up in a half-ponytail or in a full one. Likes it to keep his hair out of his face with clips and ties.

About Reader:

-Started Streaming to make some extra cash. You started with game tutorials till people requested actual gameplays. Now you stopped doing it for money but for fun.

-You don't have a drivers licence. Never really felt the motivation to do it. Sebastian carries you around with his bike or you are taking the public transport.

-You tried to keep a pet fish with Sebastian but it died after a week. Both of you forgot to feed it.

-Both of you kissed once, you were drunk and absolutely wasted. None of you can remember it tho.

-You had a crush on him when you first moved in, maybe you still do. But you learned how annoying he can be.

-Pressured_Solace was your idol. You were one of his first fans.

-You gave Sebastian a pair of spare headphones. It had cat ears. Now you have a picture of him with cat ear headphones on your phone that you will use to blackmail him (as a joke).

-Despite having a love-hate relationship that leans more to hate, you share slippers if needed. Going to get the mail? You wear the first pair of slippers you see, Sebastians. Having to bring the trash out? Take his shoes. You might even steal his jacket but then he complains.

[sodapopboy]

darry and sodapop being two different examples of ‘ideal masculinity’ is something ponyboy loves (to idolize / model after) and hates (to envy / resent)

for example, soda is literally such an attractive person that people genuinely thought he was a soc at a first glance. this leads me to believing he was honestly kinda popular when he was still in school, despite his status as a greaser. ponyboy admires that— admires his character and definitely tried to style his hair like he did multiple times

i have a firm belief that maybe when pony & soda were in middle school, a girl that ponyboy liked kinda got close to him just to be in any vicinity with soda. he didn’t find out until she heard her talking about it with her friends and went home and crieddd. thankfully soda set the record straight and cut her off immediately

(tbh i can kinda see this happening with steve too. but that’s for another post😛)

ponyboy definitely did envy soda a little when he was younger— but it was superficial in the end. with brothers who have reputations like soda’s and darry, it’s a lot to live up to— i believe soda can relate to that, though.

when he got to high school, his teachers were expecting a mini darrel curtis. when they got sodapop curtis, a boy who was more interested in talking or moving around rather than learning.. it was underwhelming (FOR THEM!!! HES PERFECT THE WAY HE IS.) to say the least.

anyway, ponyboy curtis definitely goes to soda for help with girls (or boys) whenever he miraculously gets asked out to the drive-in, or needs help when one of his friends has a disagreement with him.

darry isn’t as ‘soft’ as soda is. he ‘doesn’t understand anything that’s not plain, hard fact’ and focuses on getting stuff done instead of sitting in his emotions for a moment longer than he needs to. ponyboy admires that about darry, not just his physical— but mental strength, having to bear the burden of raising two children despite being a child himself, and having the roles of pseudo-mom, pseudo-dad and older brother.

however, he definitely resents darry in the way that he can never really sympathize with pony until after the events of the book. as darry grows into a more guardian-like figure for the two, he sees pony’s sensitivity and naivety as weaknesses.

there’s always been a stark difference between the two— ponyboy has always had his head in a book, his hands littered with papercuts, and darry always had a football in his vicinity, his hands red from how hard he’d grip the rubber.

darry sees ponyboy’s way of living day-to-day as taking advantage of the things his brothers work to provide for him when he comes home late, making soda and himself worry themselves something awful, or when ponyboy might get a comment in his report card that he’s a good kid, but is always in his own head during class. he isn’t afraid to voice that, either.

and in response, ponyboy resents him. he downright sees his oldest brother as incapable of empathy and portraying him as such in the beginning of his theme.

in the end, ponyboy’s envy over soda’s natural pull over literally anyone melts into fondness— something to adore, even. he doesn’t mind it when soda approaches someone who just bothered his baby brother with the sweetest smile on his face before telling them off in the most vile way possible. just like how he accepts that darry had to be hardened at a young age to make sure that three of them could survive together. it isn’t a fact that he likes, but he accepts it. it isn’t unnoticed by the gang that ponyboy is the only person besides soda that can make darry soften like room temperature butter, either.

[marabarl-and-marlbara]

Hello. This is not a question I hope you don't mind I just wanna thank you for your art and your posts. I find your art extremely beautiful and your art has helped me through tough times. Thank you so much for your artistic creations and I hope you're having a good day. God bless you.

hey dirak-sea,

i don:t mind at all when people send me non-questions (though there:s a gamble sometimes where i:ll just read them and privately appreciate them and then delete them); thank you very much for the kind words--i really mean it each time i say it to someone who says they:ve enjoyed my writing or my art: it:s something i appreciate immensely to hear because it:s more often appreciation goes by quietly and my relationship to posting either art/writing is, too, very quiet--there:s not much expectation that it will be loved, and that makes it a surprise that it might be loved.

art, and blogging, is really tricky for me; my desire to output took a huge plummet when i forced myself to actively keep to myself for (just only about) a month and just that month of relative alienation taught me some (extremely boring) skills to self-soothe and appreciate depressions as they come, and as they go; and, without being as much of a leaky faucet for depressions, the desire to make art had been swept up with the bad habit of {loud helplessness} i'd been so reliant. and all of that is to say: that betterment i thought i learned had really just been some thin plaster over a rot of my character, as i:m lately finding myself incredibly depressed and in need to make art, and fearful of it as another contact-point for invisible hooks to be rent with; and all it leaves me with is this itch in my heart of a calm fear i must appreciate as an active chain or love keeping me in prayer, for the depression must be seen with awe and appreciation as a christian must see satan as part of god and christ (the dead process church would love that); to feel colorful moods and experiences needed for autofiction and dumb artworks; for myself though, i am mostly just recently and softly sad and appreciative of any kindness come my way--alone, and weak, i am trying to make paranoid drawings of blue cars that do nothing but be idol of a paranoia and breed to me more discomfitures of my own character to a simple'd paranoid skulked upon by blue and yet there, like a polyp in this world came from a hook piercing a fold in my brain that stood too tall, a blue car was in my drive holding a man in a blue shirt--and then all i can think of is making blue car drawings, and byproduct of my thought is all my thoughts are controlled by the blue car like a brain subjected to passions from music;

i finished In The Woods by Tana French (audiobook) yesterday, and it was a pleasant-mid-no-strong-feelings 3/5 listen; started Sharp Objects by Gillian Flynn (audiobook) this morning (seems alright after an hour); loving Wuthering Heights more and more--really i just hate the initial narrator the story is seen through, he:s a dweeby little poof;

take care; your humble servant

[lostheretics]

PLOT TWIST (2)

▸ chapter 2; la vie en... rose?

pt 1 || pt 2

✵ cast : jung wooyoung x fem!reader, ateez, few characters from a certain world... you might know them (vincenzo characters)

✵ genre : romance, marriage life, eventual angst, suggestive, mafia!au, non idol!au

✵ summary : oh how time flies. how far you've become, and who you've become. and in that time, you've meddled with your captors, now family— ateez. you knew you should be ready for a life not so normal, far from fairytale ones with ateez, knowing their background. but you realized; maybe you've been wearing your rose-colored glasses for too long to truly understand them.

to become even more.

✵ notes : it's been 7 months... i caught covid twice, etc etc but i swear i'm trying to write. can't promise for the upcoming parts to come out fast, but i guess, enjoy.

p.s i really need to make my own poster/pic but alas— gif credits belongs to the owner.

p.s.s DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. what to do instead? give ur thoughts, REBLOG.

☒ warnings: i don't think there's much... just depictions of mafia life, a lil harsh word here and there. minors dni still.

☒ i do not condone mafia acts nor any acts that goes against the law at all. everything mentioned are just purely fiction, made to entertain myself and fellow readers in this particular platforms.

☒ do not repost this on any other platform without my permission!

✓ reblogging, liking, and commenting this post in tumblr are much more appreciated.

some say time is absolute, with every minute and every second that counts. some say time is nothing but a mere illusion, that it doesn't really correspond with physical

you decided to believe the latter.

because nothing can explain how it flies so fast; one morning jung wooyoung proposed to you, one blink away and you're in a white dress, in church married to the said man, another blink of an eye and you called him your husband.

it felt like a blink of an eye, and yet here you are, a wife of jung wooyoung for nearly a year; according to the calendar, that is.

you're quite sure that time is merely an illusion, because everything happened so fast; yet you could remember every single thing that happens within it. how you wake up next to wooyoung every morning, seeing his puffy face and hearing his raspy morning voice, nagging him to get up early so that hongjoong would save his own nagging for another thing other than your husband. a year, and you've known every nook and cranny of the mansion you've lived in with your husband and the rest of his brothers in crime.

each and every day just like now, you'd drive to wooyoung's main workplace, a small place just in the outskirts of the town. it was a designated place for ateez's new recruits to mostly build their fighting abilities and make these new people become a part of the mafia. wooyoung has always been in charge of recruiting new people and teaching them anything that needs to be taught, along with jongho and sometimes, san, because he likes to hangout with wooyoung. a year and you've learned enough about ateez.

hongjoong is the captain, the boss, the head of the group and the main face of ateez.

although everyone is basically hongjoong's right hand men, they agreed that seonghwa serves as hongjoong's main right hand. he would do big projects and watch over ateez's biggest business. he would also serve as vice captain.

yunho used to serve in the human resources department with wooyoung, but he's found to be more diligent with transportation and weaponry. both in usage and knowledge.

everyone silently agrees that yeosang has one of the most important role in ateez. ateez wouldn't have been there, or become this big if it wasn't for yeosang and the kang industries which he and his sister manage together. kang industries manages drugs development and sales, a business that his father left for his children including yeosang. he took business classes and medical once, but left both in pursuing his business and mafia career. he serves as the public façade to cover up ateez's dirty business, a casual medical crew, sometimes ateez's bankroll, accountant, et cetera. anything he can work on, he'll work on it.

mingi, along with yunho, works in weaponry. but he's entrusted more with the computers, either hacking, collecting or calculating the data. sometimes serves as the spy too.

spying jobs are left mostly on san, because the man is basically a shadow. he knows everything, will find anything, and can trap anything or even anyone.

jongho, the youngest is the most flexible of all. he works in human resources, mostly teaching newbies to fight as he has the ability. he's strong, he understands his weapons, he works fast, and in silence. only speaks his mind out in his home.

then comes wooyoung and his social butterfly trait. like what has been said before, he recruits, and taught the new recruits whatever needed to be taught. he is loved and respected by the workers within ateez, and even by his own brothers. compared to others, he might have the lowest rank of all, even though ateez never really go with ranks unless to other people outside the eight brothers.

but you love him, nonetheless.

too deep in thought about life, you didn't even realize you've reached your destination. you park your car near the warehouse and got out of the car. you walk to a small door, guarded by a big muscly guy with a foul look in his face. despite everything that looks bad on him, when he sees your figure, he quickly stands aside and open the door for you.

inside, a couple of men stood inside available boxing rings and practice their fighting abilities. the whole place reeks of sweat and blood, but nothing is really new to you. you walk further inside, and found wooyoung practicing some movements with some newbies.

"woo," you called out to him.

one syllable in one certain voice is all that jung wooyoung needed to hear, just to know that it's you, his dear wife. one year of marriage and love taught him that.

wooyoung quickly turn his head to your direction, a grin plastered on his face. he walks to you in fast paces, quickly engulfing you in his arms.

"woo— ew, i love you, but you reek of sweats," you slightly pull away from the hug, but both of your hands still encircling his waist. he chuckles, "yeah? but you love me still. and don't you dare lie to my face, you like me drenched in sweat and in these tank tops, right?"

there's no point in lying, he's right. he does look hot with that black tank top of his.

"whatever," you finally say, "anyways, i brought food. are san and jongho here?"

"jongho just went home. san is here, but," literally, jung wooyoung, who just shouted with domination here and there to the recruits in the warehouse, pouted in front of you. "i wanna have lunch just with you. just the two of us in my office, not with san third wheeling us."

"i heard that, asshole." san chimed in ever so suddenly, looking at wooyoung up and down with annoyance in his eyes. "also, hi y/n. i'm up for your food any time."

"she's my wife, san. not yours." wooyoung deadpanned.

"ouch, you used to call me baby too, wooyoung, so shut up and let me have her food. she's basically my wife too now." san answered, "right y/n?"

you laughed at that, but resolves to giving san his own portion of lunch, "go on, have some, but leave me to him. i really don't wanna hear him nagging at me out of jealousy until midnight."

"i'm not jealous!"

"good joke, woo," san mocked him, then turns to you and smiles warmly, "anyway, thanks y/n! i'll eat the rest with the new kids. you two, go being all lovey dovey all you want in the office."

with that, san walks away from the both of you, followed by the rest of the recruits to the common room for lunch time. wooyoung grabs your free hand and guides you into his office. as soon as the door closes he quickly engulfs you in another hug, this time accompanied by a kiss on your lips, which you replied back with a kiss.

"how's your day?"

"how's your day?"

you both chuckle to that, knowing you'll both have the same answer to that, "same old, same old."

most days are played on repeat, together you'll eat, sleep, go to wooyoung's lair, eat, sleep, et cetera.

but the other days might be another story to tell.

'hey baby, uhm, you didn't answer my call so i thought i'd leave a voicemail. this is a super not fun info because something suddenly came up. hongjoong hyung sent me with yunho and mingi out to japan, uhh, i still don't know what's up yet. but everyone's basically have their own work, and that includes you.

hongjoong hyung, seonghwa hyung, and yeosang want you to go to yeosang's office. like asap.

—oh! and i love you babe. call me or leave a voicemail soon okay?'

some days are like this.

slow and unsure pace as you walk through the grandeur of yeosang's company, to his office. security greeted you on their way, noticing who you are as you stepped into the elevator. you pressed floor 43. yeosang fears high places, and you still don't understand why he chose the highest floor for his office.

CEO kang yeosang

of kang industries

you gave a knock before turning the doorknob and step into the room. seonghwa, hongjoong, and yeosang all turned their heads to your direction.

"come and sit, y/n." hongjoong commanded. you quickly did as he told.

"what's happening? wooyoung told me something came up so suddenly." you asked, sitting across hongjoong, next to yeosang.

"babel comp. that shit jang hanseok broke things up between us. he tricked us with some paper company from japan, run by a group of yakuza. i sent yunho, mingi and wooyoung to watch around in japan." hongjoong gritted his teeth, clearly pissed with the current problem. he stood up and ruffled his hair out of frustration.

"it costs us 50 million won." seonghwa added. "could be more."

tired of beating around the bush, you spoke, "and what do you want me to do?"

you didn't mean for the words to come out like that; as if laced with sarcasm, with pride. to come out so sourly to left hongjoong wordless and turning his back on you, his shoulder slumping a little. seonghwa and yeosang keep their heads down. reading the air around, you're quick to understand their guilt.

you did tell them not to work with babel before.

however hongjoong persisted with his own ideas and as captain, no one can really say no to him. not even seonghwa. you fully understand why he did that. trusting you, even after a year of marriage with wooyoung was a heavy task for him. you came from nowhere, had no significant background, and then took one of his brother's heart, entering ateez. the others might love you, though seonghwa and yeosang are more on the timid side.

but to hongjoong, you're an outsider.

an outsider who somehow understand how the underworld works, proven by how your words and actions saved the organization many times. despite hongjoong being skeptical and denial most of the times.

you didn't bother to count their mistakes. you're willing to work for his trust, that is.

"which branch of babel did you work on?" you asked, which yeosang answered. "babel constructions."

"thank god. you should stop worrying over it, then. with or without our play in it, babel constructions and babel overall is going to fall into shambles." seeing hongjoong's yet again skeptical look on his face, you added. "it's not a secret that they're going through many legal —or should i say, illegal issues now. especially babel chemicals and construction. i think that's why he's using some paper company to trick us.

the other secret is that there's a problem between jang hanseok and his brother, jang hanseo. there's a rumor going around about hanseok's dirty work, and unsavory stories about him killing his father and took everything from hanseo. there's also rumor going around that hanseo is asking for help from the underworld. he's not as powerful as his brother, but his voice is still heard."

"nothing is written nor signed legally on a paper between babel and you, so that's a free move for ateez," sitting forward, you cleared your throat. "my advice is to send seonghwa to japan. it's about time we strengthen our connections there anyways. work with the yakuzas, find the yakuza working with jang hanseok. negotiate, and if needed, set boundaries and resort to violence to assert dominance. but stay safe, please." you said to seonghwa, "yeosang,"

yeosang looked up to you, awaiting your next words, "kang med&chem manufacturers is standing strong. going against babel chemicals in their weak moments is going to be a challenge, but one that we can do. assert dominance. take over the market and trades. send san to sniff around babel, find anything about them, and to offer help to jang hanseo. send jongho to japan and send mingi home to help san around."

"babel is not gonna give ateez their 50 million won back, so i suggest we take over babel as whole. they have many assets outside of their money and that's gonna be a good thing for ateez to have." you concluded.

"wouldn't that be too hard? too risky?" seonghwa chipped. you nodded.

"it could be. but not if san found a treasure we can use against them. not if we join hand in hand with jang hanseo. not if we mobilize some friends. like stray kids, a little help from the lee family."

hongjoong turned his head around hearing the name, "the lees?"

"i heard lee's uncle or whatever put some money in it too. the police are gonna find out soon and deemed them as part of babel's dirty work. you know the lees, they don't like it when things get messy or if they lose money." you explained, "and since you put the first effort, they only need what they lose be given back to them and with a little bit of extra. babel will still be yours, ateez connection to japan gets stronger, the lees as friends. play your cards right and you'll get everything."

"what do you say, hyung?"

upon yeosang's question, he and seonghwa looked over to hongjoong, awaiting for his approval. the said captain seemed to hesitate for a while, before he turned his body and stared at the three of you, finalizing his decisions.

"do as she says. report to me and y/n daily, even for the smallest inconvenience." he said, "starting from now."

"i'm taking the soonest flight to japan." seonghwa stated. he bowed to the rest of you before walking out of yeosang's office to perform his duty.

yeosang did the same not long after seonghwa. "i'll prepare for future deals and takeovers. i'm heading out."

they left you alone with hongjoong.

not wanting to sit around too long in an uncomfortable air, you sighed and stood up, wanting to leave, "i'm going back home. try not to overthink things, and i'm always available if you need me again." you assured him.

you were about to turn the doorknob when hongjoong turned around and hurriedly called your name, "y/n."

you watched as he walks in a slow pace towards you, looking defeated yet still held his head high. he put his hand on your shoulder gave it a tight squeeze.

"come with me to the auction tomorrow. there's gonna be a lot of important people there. i need you to do something for me."

you raised your eyebrows, "those parties are for the known people within the underground world. i know people, but people don't know me. i'm still a shadow, hongjoong."

"then i guess it's time to bring you under the light."

"what do you want me to do?"

hongjoong chuckled and smiled curtly, "don't rush. you'll know tomorrow. take it easy."

you nodded, though unsure. "okay." you turned back to go on your way out of the office when hongjoong blurted out the words that had you stunned.

"thank you y/n. and i'm sorry."

"i'm not used to this attitude, cap. you're scaring me," you laughed though a bit forcefully, trying to ease the thick serious air around. yet hongjoong didn't budge, still staring down at you with a pair of guilty but prideful eyes, voice still within a serious tone.

"i hope you understand why i did it. you came out of nowhere, you claimed wooyoung's heart, as that punk said," he chuckled, "but before all of that, and until now, he's my brother. no matter how annoying wooyoung can be, he's my family. despite how strong and reckless he can be, i know he's... the weakest out of all of us. you gave him a weak point, y/n. and that's not something that i like."

"but... getting rid of you would be a nuisance too. it seems wooyoung loved you too much and the rest of us liked you enough. that gives me no choice but to start accepting you. what i'm saying is... i don't like you, but i'll try. for wooyoung."

"so... does this mean i'm off the hook or what cap?"

"one wooyoung is enough, not you too." his voice sounding full of defeat, out of joke, of course, almost sending you on the verge of laughing your back off. you thought it's not time yet.

you reminisce on those days. the littlest act you got from hongjoong because he refused to interact much with you. a look of hostility and not an ounce of trust in it. it was tiring constantly living on a thin ice with him around as captain. no one could do anything, not even when the rest of them already welcomed you, not even your own husband. all wooyoung could tell you every night was 'let him take his time, his pace has always been different than us'. you'd like to think how it'll feel when hongjoong finally accepted you.

you look at his face. it was rough with little wrinkles here and there, yet still exudes pride and can induce fear from anyone he wanted, made from years of working in the underground world. years of beating up and being beaten up, of constant wars and darkness. ateez' captain. your captain.

you'd like to hate him, but not with what he had in mind. he wanted to protect his loved ones, including wooyoung. and for that, you're more than willing to forgive him for the inconvenience he caused you. for that reason only, you could start feeling that respect running within you upon hearing his name.

"walk out with me, y/n." hongjoong chirped, breaking you out of your thoughts. pushing the door open, the both of you walked out of yeosang's office. on the way to the elevator, he offered you his left arm, which you take with slight hesitation. however, instead of going down with the elevator, hongjoong took a turn and brought you to the emergency exit leading to the company's rooftop.

there was particularly nothing there, just dirty concrete.

"didn't know this place has a rooftop..." you murmured. hongjoong only chuckled. he took a deep breath before speaking again.

"look around. tell me what you see."

and you did as he told. "nothing in particular. other buildings. concrete. they could've done something to make the rooftop better, i guess." you shrugged.

"good. now tell me where are we standing right now."

"yeosang's company rooftop. kang industries."

"and how good kang industries is?"

"compared to government owned or companies of long history, i'd say it's strong. it holds a significant percentage of this country's market, both domestic and international." you answer as best as you could.

hongjoong nods. the night wind blew his neat hair and rendered it messy, but he couldn't care less, when he pointed his finger to a certain corner of the rooftop.

"i was already with seonghwa when i met yeosang. the company was already unstable when he wanted to join the brotherhood, rebelling against his family. at that corner, yeosang pledged his loyalty to the brotherhood," hongjoong explained, then continued. "that same corner witnesses how we treated mingi when he almost died on one of our heist. yeosang sewed him up himself. we hid here for a couple days, while police were still hot on our tails. i could hear their sirens blasting in the city even though we're up so high in here."

"at that corner i realize we weren't strong enough. but we have the base to be so, heck yeosang even has a company. i wanted us to be strong, and all of us made a pact there. that we'll do better. that we'll surpass good, that we'd be the monster. that, no matter how small we look, we'll be unbeatable, untouchable. and even if someone could beat us, we'll be remembered as ateez the fighter, who fights until the end. soldiers. brothers even in the darkness." he said. then he turned at you, staring down at you with his dark eyes. both of his hands moved to grab your shoulders, keeping you in place. "we came from nowhere, before we finally became who we are today. once again, i hope —no. i need you to understand, y/n. ateez is more than a mere mafia group."

"we are brothers bound by blood, tied at souls. and to become a part of ateez..." he pressed, "is to stay loyal. with all tears, sweat, blood. with everything that we have. and until death. can you do the same to us?"

for a moment, there was nothing but silence.

and in that moment, everything that you believe about hongjoong, you retract them all back. in that moment your mind worked with all its might to change your perspective of kim hongjoong.

he's not a man, he's not just a captain.

kim hongjoong is a fucking monster.

one that's willing to break anything to protect his loved ones. to hunt down anyone of anything that disturbs them. he'll eat anyone alive if they ever dare lay a finger on him. he'll kill, and will let anyone get hurt if it meant to protect them.

if he promises his arm, he'll cut and pay it with his whole arm. a man who never breaks an oath.

both your hands moved on their own, latching onto hongjoong's at your sides. you gave his hands a squeeze before giving a short answer.

"yes."

hongjoong nods in satisfaction and understatement. yours might be a short answer, but he understand still, what all of tonight's conversation meant to you. he understand what kind of thoughts you were having right then, the reason for the choice that you've made and promised to him.

you only had wooyoung in mind.

undoubtedly, wooyoung is a part of ateez. and if you have to give anything to ateez for wooyoung, you'd do it in a heartbeat. you'd do anything for ateez.

for wooyoung.

(to be continued...)

taglist: @thisisnotangel

i legit... did not sleep.... not just for this, but like— you get the drill.

life, in the form of college is catching up on me and im abt to bust my head open. BUT GUESS WHAT it was like on and off and on and off and im like??? "okay then start writing, fill in those gaps" but instead im filled those gaps with anxiety. and covid. and other things but writing —😤😤😤

regardless, i still want to finish this story. so bad. i have the greatest idea in my mind abt this story im abt to cOMBUST IF I DONT LET IT ALL OUT—

anyways... sorry for the wait... and enjoy.

[nora-xox]

Alright part 2 to my last post (Tr boys x cheerleader /Idol like reader) let me know if you want a part three and what characters.

This includes Ran, Rindou, and Wakasa.

I did my best lol Enjoy. Send more tokyo rev requests pls

Writing fluff two times in a row who am i😂😂 Also what the hell is up with the lack of Tokyo revenger Gifs

Proof read ~ Nope

Ran Haitani

· This man has showed up to your practice and just stopped it . He was sick of waiting since it had run over more then 40mins.

· Personal Shows are Required Ran will not drop it he wants to see what you were working on without all the others taking away the spot light from you.

· Will tease any chance he gets.

· Got costume choices coming best believe he's crashing that practice. He "persuaded" your teacher to go with his choice. He doesn't wanna see you in any crappy costume choices.

· Private fashion show for Ran of your new costume.

· Ran has brought Rindou to your shows both of them covered in clear signs of a fight.

· Ran loves when you cheer him on durning fights but he doesn't bring you to them on purpose. It more happens when you all are hanging out and then some idiots decide that fighting the Haitani's then and there is a brilliant idea.

· He will show off his strength and poor Rindou is dragged into showing off too because they are a team and he has to match Ran's energy.

· Your teammates thought he was scary but got over it since he became such a common occurrence in their lives that they are numb to Ran showing up in any state.

· He will be back stage once the shows over and is taking you away as fast as he can. For what you don't know but he does and you're along for the ride. He sat in those auditorium seats for to long.

· Drives you home after classes expects you to wait till he gets there. He is a Haitani after all his enemies would see you as a walking living weak spot for him so no late night walks home.

Rindou Haitani

· The calmer of the Haitani siblings.

· Rindou often asks if he can come watch your practice as a courtesy. he is gonna come anyway so might as well say yes.

· Ran teases both of you and treats you like another member of the Haitani family.

· Rindou has told Ran so much about you it freaked Ran in the beginning because Rindou wasn't acting normal.

· Rindou loves when you tell him about classes and wants to know the dates of any upcoming performance and will put them on his calendar.

· Ran know as well so that if they get into a fight on that day they don't toy with there enemies and instead get the fight over with.

· Just like Ran, Rindou has shown up to a show with obvious signs of a fight taking place before they got there.

· Rindou may miss a show but he will make it up to you.

· He loves that you cheer him on durning fights has brought you along because he wanted to spend more time with you and to show off.

· Rindou knows it's a risk but has given you means of defense like one of Ran's spare batons. Not like he or his brother would ever let the chance for you to use it arise.

· Dates will work around both of your schedules. You have a show tomorrow alright cuddles at his place he will drive you to the venue in the morning. He had a meeting bet late night drive after to get convince store snacks and talk at a park. (Ran may be third wheeling but oh well.)

Wakasa

· Best believe Wakasa doesn't act like he is all that interested in your hobby but he is.

· he wants to hear all about upcoming events. He may not make it to all of them but he will try.

· Benkei has heard so much about you he practically knows you.

· Wakasa meets you after practice and takes you on his bike for a small drive and then to your house (or his)

· Your teammates have gushed over how lucky you are to have such a hot s/o .

· Wakasa been to enough of your practices and shows that he has learned who's who from your retellings of your day and all the drama.

· He will be outside after the show by his bike to surprise you with flowers and praise for how amazing you did.

· if you ever do see Wakasa fight in front of you and cheer him on he will love it but he isn't one to go and instigate a fight or keep you near if one breaks out. He is more likely to tell you to run not wanting you to witness the violence he is about to commit.

· but if you do get the chance to cheer him on it will make him show off. Like he can't let his personal cheerleader down in on of the few instances that they see him fight.

· Benkei laughs so hard seeing the change in Waka's behavior since he's been around you more and now him showing off while fighting (👀 where did the wakasa he's used to go lmao )

· Wakasa has danced with you. He acted like he didn't like it but he did.

· He doesn't care what you both do as long as he get's to spend some time with you.

[iamnmbr3]

Hey! This is a bizarre ask but hopefully a welcome one after *gestures at the destruction and fire*. I’m completely new to the Loki/thorki fandom, having essentially come in via the exit door by watching the Loki tv series first. I was honestly just watching it for junk value to have something in the background while I knit. However, when I realized that I didn’t understand anything by the middle of Ep. 1, I went back to watch Thor 1 so I could get what was going on. And HOLY SHIT I was utterly captivated by Loki’s character in the original movie, as well as by the Loki-Thor and Odin family dynamics. I’ve now watched through the films and have been increasingly disappointed by the portrayal of Loki (since Avengers 1 frankly) save a few glimmers of good characterization here and there.

I can’t believe that I’m getting myself into another queer coded (and now more than coded wtf) “villain” with a tragic backstory who’s done dirty by the fandom at large, but here we are! I’m also super into thorki because goddamn… they sure do have a Dynamic™.

So I guess my question is, what is actually good here? I feel like I’ve been trying to fight my way back to Kenneth Branagh!Loki, and have been largely unsuccessful within canon content. Do you have suggestions for a newcomer re: fics, fanart, and meta that actually treats Loki seriously? (and thorki as well?)

Hey! Welcome! Sorry about the mess *gestures at the garbage fire that is the TVA Show The Larry Show The "Loki" Show*

And this isn't a bizarre ask at all. It was really nice to receive actually! And yeah! I'm so glad you went back and watched the originals. The TV Show character is a completely new character played by the same actor who has nothing in common with the original character (who yes is absolutely fascinating and captivating and multilayered). Honestly I just think of the tv character as Larry, Loki's dumb lookalike cousin bc they have nothing in common lol. So glad the show led to you discovering good content...and thorki. And yeah Thor 2011 is amazing! It's so underrated. If you want meta relating to that and also just gushing about the film you can def check out my Thor 2011 tag.

My thorki tag of course has thorki stuff including art etc. I've also got an art tag which has both thorki and non-thorki works. If you want fic recs you can look in my fic rec tag which has a bunch of good stuff both thorki and gen.

Also here are some good thorki fics to start out with that I've really enjoyed. Most are ones I read early on when I just discovered the ship. Also @illwynd has a great thorki blog btw that you should def check out (and also their sideblog @throwbackthorki). Edit: I’ve also added some gen fic recs.

Thorki Fic Recs:

Chaos War by astolat (words: 34,203 | rating: E)

It was never easy to find Loki when he wanted to hide, but he wasn't doing a particularly good job of it at the moment. Probably he didn't think anyone from Asgard would be wasting their time hunting for him while the shining ones churned their way steadily through all the realm.

Loyalty at Any Price by seidrade (words: 22,663 | rating: E )

“This whole time, I’ve been searching the Nine Realms— alone— for answers to questions I barely know how to ask. I thought Heimdall at his watch, our father upon the throne, and most grievously… I thought you lost to me forever.” Thor’s resurgence of anger gives way to something like despair. He can’t tell whether he wants to pummel Loki into one giant bruise, or hold him and weep like a child.

When Thor returns to Asgard and exposes Loki’s deception, his demands for answers and Loki’s reluctance to give them soon bubble over into a cathartic confrontation.

Born to be Kings by Kadorienne (words: 66,618 | rating: T)

When the princes of Asgard made their ill-fated jaunt to Jotunheim, Odin arrived to fetch them before the frost giant grabbed Loki's arm. Odin was able to carry out his plan to make Loki his puppet king of Jotunheim. But how long will Loki remain an obedient puppet?

Yidrigar by epistolic (words: 5,174 | rating: M)

Sometimes I am envious, but never doubt that I love you.

The Heavy Crown by orphan_account (words: 10,024 | Rating: M )

Odin is dead. Loki must take up the mantle of King even as war threatens Asgard, Thor remains bereft of both Mjolnir and his immortality, and stress coupled with the knowledge of his heritage drives Loki to the brink.

No Common Thing by ravenbringslight (words: 8,283 | rating: E)

Loki follows Thor to a brothel and gets the shock of his life.

On the Eagle's Wings by illwynd (words: 2,975 | rating: T )

After Loki falls from the Bifrost, Thor begins to write him letters every day.

How long we were fooled by Ark (words: 28,227 | rating: E )

Loki is not a good man, he knows; there is something rotten in the core of him; and even a much better man might let Thor kiss him, since Thor still tastes of sizzling lightning, like gathering rain, like a desire so fierce and so awful to him that when released it could bring Asgard to its knees.

sunshine by thorvaenn (words: 18,257 | rating: E )

A post Infinity War fluffy piece.

Thor and Loki are among those who are trying to pick up the pieces, but must first fix each other.

Edit: And Some Gen Fic Recs too:

lose my idols to find my voice by Lise (words: 1,548 | rating: T)

This is no homecoming.

monstrare by Lise (words: 1,174 | T )

Loki is Asgard's second prince, brother to Thor, son of Odin and Frigga.

Isn't he?

farewell hope, and with hope farewell fear by Lise (words: 3,113 | rating: T)

Loki and the terrible, horrible, no good, very long delayed reckoning.

Five Times Loki Could Have Been A Villain by Kadorienne (words: 3,344 | rating: G | Character Death)

Five AUs where Loki is not a mere antagonist, but an actual villain.

He would have acted very differently.

When It Sings, When It Lies by dreamsthebirds (words: 14,145 | rating: G)

Thor AU, based on an awesome norsekink prompt for a scenario in which Heimdall doesn't open the Bifrost to Jotunheim, Odin doesn't ride to the rescue, and Loki is forced to take matters into his own hands.

Interdimensional journeys, shattering emotional revelations, and walking trees ensue.

Ichor in Violet by tirsynni (Words: 14,574 | rating: T)

When Thor learns that Loki can travel to other realms without Heimdall seeing, of course he convinces Loki to take them both to Jotunheim to hunt Frost Giants. There an accident unravels centuries of lies and threatens to unravel Loki, too.

The Sinking Feeling of Anticipation by JaggedCliffs (words: 8,624 | rating: G)

When Æsir come of age, they receive a gift from their parents, one meant to aid them in their adult lives. When a prince of Asgard comes of age, their gifts are not just for themselves, but for the realm.

Loki watched Thor receive Mjolnir at his coming of age ceremony – one of the greatest weapons in the realms, for one of its greatest warriors. Now, it's Loki's turn, and he knows Odin will grant him something just as magnificent.

Won't he?

Exsanguination by Lise (words: 8,610 | rating: G)

exsanguination /ex·san·gui·na·tion/ v.intr. To be drained of blood. (And all the rest.)

[itsclydebitches]

I kinda wonder, what could bakugou do (hori write bakugou to do) to make him less popular with the "anti" crowd. Like He was a horrid child no doubt and people who try to put blame on Deku or lessen the terrible shit bakugou did aren't great. But as we don't rly see it, we have to assume bakugous behaviour wasn't stopped, we only ever saw his mum "punishing" him when he was being rude after getting kiddnapped. Nothing will excuse what bakugou did, but he has stopped? He's overall a harsh person but he's not harrassing and bullying people anymore, specifically not deku, he's trying to attone for what he did to deku and has now apologised for it. His behaviour was never viewed as justified or good in the series, he's a scary figure in middle school, we're not meant to like his behaviour, so the series itself hasn't justified his actions.

As someone who relate to both bakugou and deku more than I'd like to admit (never told someone to jump tho, that's fucked lol) so I can 100% understand not liking or even hating bakugou but as someone who's not 15 anymore, looking back I also made a lot of really shitty decisions and like bakugou have tried to make up for it, and like deku I was 'friends' with people who hurt me.

Is there anything he can do for the "antis" to just dislike him rather that be "anti"?

(I'm very sorry if you've talked about this somewhere, you can just tell me to look for it if you have, I'll continue to look for your posts on the subject)

Hey there, anon! I think I’ve spoken about this only tangentially and/or in my main Bakugo meta, which is too big for anyone sane to read. So yeah, let’s chat here!

For me personally—and that’s all I can ever do: speak personally. I think it’s important to keep in mind that there is no single solution to please the “anti” crowd. Each fan will be looking for something slightly different in Bakugo’s character, much of which might contradict what a “stan” is currently enjoying. Given how charged a character he is, I'm not sure it's possible to get the entire fandom to like him—what I’m looking for hinges on having a different reading of the story than you seem to. Meaning, I think the series does justify his behavior. Not in any overt, super obvious way like having all the characters go, “Wow, Bakugo! I sure do love how you threaten people all the time. That’s super cool and heroic!” Things are rarely that straightforward. Rather, it’s in a more subtle, but consistent manner that paints a rather conclusive picture across hundreds of chapters.

Simply put, Bakugo is continually rewarded for his actions. Or, if not outright rewarded, his actions are ignored in a way that implies silent acceptance. Characters may not always like what he does... but they're willing to let it slide because Bakugo's heroism was always treated as a given, not something he had to earn and prove.

With the ever necessary disclaimer that I’m not fully caught up yet, here’s a list of some of the things that stood out to me in the first half of the series:

Bakugo’s bullying made him the most popular kid in school.

Bakugo’s bullying was ignored by/outright supported by the teachers.

Bakugo’s bullying did not hinder him from getting into U.A., one of the most prestigious hero schools around.

Despite acting horribly throughout his time at U.A. too, this behavior was continually ignored by the teachers and other authority figures around him.

Bakugo’s struggle to realize that other people aren’t “trash” doesn’t hurt his achievements in any way. He still gets top scores, still wins the tournament, etc.

Bakugo’s behavior gets him special attention from All Might, the greatest hero and Bakugo’s personal idol.

His behavior doesn’t make others dislike him in any manner that’s taken seriously. Everybody is still willing to not just put up with Bakugo, but—in time—start treating his behavior as a quirk (no pun intended lol) that they’re secretly fond of, rather than something he should legitimately be striving to change. Kirishima is the most overt example of this.

This is compounded by his behavior constantly being framed as humorous. Much like with Mineta’s perverted actions, characters might superficially go, “No, that’s bad!” but the story never demands any significant development because then we’d lose the “joke” of Bakugo screaming in rage at the slightest inconvenience, threatening to murder someone over nothing, constantly belittling everyone around him in a “funny” manner, etc. When fans talk about development of a manga character as archetypal and extreme as Bakugo, most don’t really want to see significant change to his base personality. Because then that would result in someone who doesn’t look like the “real” Bakugo: someone nicer, more even-tempered, more mature, etc. But for those of us who were never drawn to that personality in the first place, the continued acceptance of his rude, egotistical, and violent behavior is discomforting. The easiest comparison I can draw is between this and Bakugo’s mother slapping him. That slap is meant to be another “joke”—we see it constantly in shonen anime, something "humorous" you shouldn’t take too seriously because haha, it's just an overprotective mother—but many fans do take it seriously, using it as the basis for a whole “Bakugo was abused and this explains his behavior” reading. Well, I take the “joke” of Bakugo’s threats and insults seriously, especially in a story that starts with something like telling Izuku to jump off the roof. In the same way that many fans want others to treat Bakugo’s mother as a serious topic that has had a negative influence on his development, I want the series to take Bakugo’s everyday actions seriously as a negative influence on… well, everyone around him. But it doesn’t. His base personality is grudgingly adored.

The above two points are seen most overtly in Izuku, who never wavers in his respect for Bakugo despite how Bakugo treats him. Not just prior to U.A., but during their training too. Izuku, as the protagonist, is the emotional heart of this tale, so when he talks about how inspiring Bakugo is, it encourages the reader to see his behavior as inspiring too. Rather than, as said, something that needs to change. Izuku's continued friendship with Bakugo, his adoration of him, and his acceptance of the way he's treated has severely warped how the entire story sees Bakugo's actions. After all, if #pure Izuku can see the good in Bakugo, why can't everyone else? He must not be that bad after all.

I could get into detailed analyses of all the above—like how Bakugo was the one comforted after attacking Izuku outside the dorms at night and how the messed up relationship he has with Izuku is upheld as something to nurture; how the remedial courses he had to take were made to be rather silly, thereby undermining their supposed importance to his development; how Bakugo’s kidnapping had nothing to do with his flaws, but much of the fandom uses it as a way to dismiss any appropriate consequences because, “Hasn’t he suffered enough?” etc.—but in the interest of keeping this within a readable length, I’ll leave it at that. The point is that Bakugo has always been privileged when it comes to his behavior, resulting in others either outright praising it, ignoring it, or demanding that he change a miniscule bit, which always keeps him far below the standards of both his peers and the expectations of a hero. Everyone in 1-A must learn to be even better than the good people they already are... Bakugo needs to learn that other people aren't dirt at the bottom of his shoes. It's never been a particularly impressive development when pit against the rest of the class. All of which can make something like an apology feel pretty hollow. Yes, he’s apologized and I say with all seriousness that that’s great! But how does that apology stack up against 300+ chapters of content? As Bakugo’s words highlight, he's been a really awful person up "until now": he was consumed by Izuku being “miles ahead of [him],” he “looked down on [him]” because he didn’t have a quirk, he “didn’t want to recognize that,” he “hated that,” “grew distant,” “tried to beat you down,” “opposed you and tried to show my superiority over you,” and ends it all with, “it probably doesn’t mean anything telling you all this” before finally getting to the “I’m sorry.” This is basically a laundry list of how horrible a person Bakugo has been for the entire series, with an acknowledgement that this apology is coming really, really late. This is the moment where I could START to like Bakugo, depending on how he acts form here on out, but that pivotal moment arrived after six years of content and in the final arc of the story. It’s too late. Bakugo needed this kind of self-reflection and positive action 250+ chapters ago so he could (hopefully) grow into a better person across the story, not at the story's end. What we got instead is 322 chapters of him being a really horrible person, but the story going out of its way to excuse or even praise that behavior the majority of the time.

As a quick comparison to end on, I think what Bakugo needed was what Soo Jin got in True Beauty. You don’t need to have seen the drama to follow along. The tl;dr is that she has a lot of the core qualities of Bakugo: an all-consuming drive to win that was created due to abusive parents with high expectations, resulting in her bullying a peer to a pretty horrific extent. The difference between them is how the story frames their actions. When Soo Jin becomes the bully she loses everything. Rather than succeeding academically, her grades plummet, making it clear that this anxiety and self-doubt (things the fandom keeps insisting Bakugo is struggling with, but that rarely ever show up in the text) is actually impacting her day-to-day life. Her best friend drops her because she’s not going to support her choices. The boy she likes rejects her. She’s eventually forced to start over somewhere new - which importantly separates her from the girl she was bullying - and get some distance from her parents, resulting in the growth needed to become a healthier, happier, good person again. So when Soo Jin apologizes to the girl she hurt, it feels earned. The story continually recognized how horrific her actions were and put her into a place where she either had to change, or continue losing at everything else that was important to her. Bakugo? Bakugo doesn’t lose. Oh, he claims he does because he’s comparing himself to Izuku constantly, but that’s just him thinking in extremes. He still wins academically. Still wins many battles. Still wins at having friends. Still wins by maintaining the prestige of being a U.A. student. Still wins by getting All Might’s attention. Still wins by receiving Izuku’s respect and an agreement to maintain this rivalry that Bakugo is so obsessed with. Bakugo comes out well 99% of the time, he just thinks he's "lost" because he can't stand not being the absolute best.

For me, the story needed to have Bakugo face consequences for his behavior, not receive rewards and/or have others ignore it, and that revelation/apology needed to come way, way sooner. For me the issue is not a specific action that Horikoshi can have Bakugo do in the next chapter and them bam, I like him now. The problem is Bakugo’s entire concept, how he’s received by the entire cast, and his run across this entire series. "Entire" is the key word there. Which is why the “But he’s apologized. What more do you antis want?” reactions don’t sit well. What we wanted is a better written redemption arc across those 300+ chapters, not a single scene that’s meant to have us forget all the other problems inherent in the story. At this point it’s a far more complicated situation than, “Bakugo just needs to do X, Y, and Z and then we’re golden.” At the end of the day, Horikoshi failed to make me like him as a person and I’m pretty sure he isn’t going to change Bakugo enough to make him likable to me. Bakugo was never the sort of character I’d be inclined towards without a serious, nuanced redemption arc, but sadly, a core, crucial part of that redemption arc took six years to arrive. At this point there’s no way to change the problems in Bakugo’s writing for that huge chunk of the series and not enough time left in the series, it seems, to do the work we should have seen across the entire run. Honestly, idk if the Bakugo we'll get going forward is someone I can just dislike as opposed to being really uncomfortable with, but my money is on there being too little story left and too much investment in upholding Bakugo's base personality for that to happen. I could absolutely be proven wrong! But I think the problems are structural and needed to be better dealt with from page one, not hastily patched over in the final hour.

[purpleyellow]

Industry (un)locked

Seventeen 14th member

Hayun’s masterlist

“The interview that never got posted”

Requested by: anon

disclaimer? I’m obviously not an idol nor have any relation to the kpop industry. all of this is purely made up :) idk if this was needed but its here just in case

a/n: Feel free to share your thoughts with me. Requests are open! 💙

*italics represents actions*bold and italic is the person leading the interview*

Hayun steps inside the white studio and heads to the chair in front of all the cameras. She signalizes with a thumbs up to the producers that they're good to start.

“Kim Hayun. Born on June 15th, 1996. Debuted on May 26th, 2015. Current member of co-ed group Seventeen”.

“That's me” Hayun points at herself and then at the camera, making finger guns and getting some staff members to laugh.

“We'd like to remind you that whatever is said inside this room is fully confidential, so you may speak as much as you want to and as freely as you can”

“Well, I like to talk a lot, so you might regret telling me that”

“Simple question to get started, if you could go back and meet fifteen/sixteen-year-old Hayun, would you talk her out of being an idol or encourage her to do so”

“That's not a simple question, and you know it” Hayun laughs getting herself comfortable on the high chair. “I remember as a kid always asking for my parents to give me siblings, and especially missing them as I grew a bit older and didn't have anyone to keep me company after school. You can say being around people my age, or anyone who I can connect with is my number one source of energy. So I would encourage her to do it, because I know she really needs the thirteen brothers she's getting after that. But maybe I'd tell her she's not the amazing inspiring celebrity she thinks she is”.

“What would you say your relationship with Pledis Entertainment has been like, since you joined the company to now?”

“You're sure this isn't going to get leaked, right? The trainee period sucks for everyone, you have to dedicate a lot of time, energy, and discipline in order to be able to reach this insanely high standards. And I guess we're all aware of how though Pledis is with their trainees, so it's safe to say I didn't have much in me back then to develop any kind of relation with the higher ups. I do remember they used to decide most things behind my back. Like one day I arrived at the building and the CEO said 'You're moving to the Pledis Boys side' which was fine, but I could have used that information a few days prior or something. And even after that, when I brought something up to them, they would tell me they would think about the topic. And if they ever decided something, they would set one of the boys aside and tell them what they decided, so that boy could come and tell me”.

“That got better over time, though there's this weird relation between the group and the company, where we're completely free when it comes to the creative side of business. Yet the moment something more serious needs to be decided it's like they forget who makes up Seventeen. I understand from a corporate point off view they can't have a bunch of random kids in their 20s deciding what to do on a crisis. But they also can't push aside what Seventeen's message is and the picture we're trying to create. At the end of the day, I can't shake off the feeling that inside those big offices, some of those men only see us as a product they're trying to sell”.

“Would you think of leaving Pledis Entertainment?”

“I'm staying wherever the boys are, I don't really care where that is”

“How do you deal with hate?”

“Nowadays I'm one of that kind of people who simply doesn't care. After being bombarded with hundreds of comments from people who didn't know me but shared an opinion on where I should be and what kind of behavior I should have, I learned how to ignore everything and not engage in any conversation surrounding my work. That sucks, because I also don't have access to most of the nice and constructive things people say about me. But honestly it's something I decided to let go after I realized that negativity was getting in the way of how I communicated with other people, and how I saw myself as someone who always had to prove being better at something”.

“So you don't read what's being said about you online?”

“Most things I don't. I usually engage in conversations on Weverse which is slightly more controlled, and sometimes the boys show me some nice comments left on YouTube videos. Besides looking at cat videos, I'm pretty much dissociated with most social media”.

“Do you think that's something being an idol took away from you, or were you never that into technology?”.

“It's definitely something I had to adapt to due to being on the spotlight. As a kid I always enjoyed going on random spaces and making online friends, even if we only talked to each other once and that was it.”

“You don't look for what people have to say about you. But do you ever feel like you're not totally free to do whatever you want?”

“Honestly, yes. There's always going to have that little voice in the back of my head telling me how many young adults and even children are watching me and by association I'm helping them form their own view of the world. That's pretty scary to be honest because who am I? You know? Sometimes I want to do dumb things and less frequently I simply do dumb things because what there is to lose? But if a child comes and asks to do the same things I want to, I'll tell them no, because their life is too precious for me to let them do reckless activities”.

“What kid of dumb things are you talking about?”

“Sometimes I wake up and feel like bungee jumping. Or like, taking my car and driving without any coordinates for a really long period of time. Getting really drunk and smashing some plates around. Trying out parkour and busting my knees up because I don't know how to do that. I guess the best way to describe it being random rather than dumb”.

“So you're scared of what people might think of doing after you grant your personal wishes?”.

“I guess so. Since I'm not a parent, I shouldn't take responsibility over what others think and do. But part of me will always think about those kids alone in their homes, watching our content to pass their time and being shaped by the things we say and do. I also feel bad sometimes because I'm not the smartest person in the world, so I can't give them a detailed philosophical thought of how much their lives are worth and how they are the ones that make their own future”.

“Do you feel unprepared to be an idol when it comes to this topic?”.

“Well, yes. I'm just a twenty six-year-old who acts mostly over her instincts and fears of letting life pass by her. It's scary to think about children wanting to be like me. I remember during our training, we also learned a lot about how to behave and all of that, but it never sunk in how much responsibility it takes to be someone's 'Idol'. I try not to think about it too much to be honest, my wishful thinking brain likes to imagine that everyone knows how to draw a line between Hayun working her idol job and Hayun living her life”.

“Lastly, do you regret being in the kpop industry?”

“No, just because it gave me the family that I need. I sound really dorky talking about them, but that Hayun, before meeting Seventeen, had no future in mind and no support system strong enough to carry her around. I would not be able to face all of this alone in a million years, and I hope I never have to”.

[newsies-of-corona]

Varian & Affirmation

Analysis:

And we’ve got another one, folks! This one hit hard for me for sure. Just the way that the show set it up...it’s incredible. So without any further adieu...

“Well, shall we get started?”

Motives

So I’m just going to come right out and say it: Varian is selfish in Season 1. The whole way through. (Now don’t leave yet! If you know me you know how much of a fan I am of this complex alchemist and this is not a hate post by all means!)

But yes. Throughout the whole of Season 1, Varian has a very self-centered mindset that’s hard to pick up on at first, but it’s there. Here’s some dialogue examples:

“I am sure that I, Varian, can unlock the mystery of your hair with the power of science!”

“Hey Flynn Rider? Wanna come with?”

“It doesn’t matter. The truth is all I really wanted to do was impress you, I thought that if I showed you what I was capable of you might see something in me.”

“Actually he’d probably be impressed. At least I hope he’d be impressed.”

Most of these quotes sound perfectly innocent, and they are! But it’s the motives behind them that make them more self-centered. Varian’s main goal, his life blood practically, is affirmation. He yearns to be adored and recognized for his achievements. It’s a perfectly normal and human want. I myself struggle with this all the time. But when it’s the only thing that you strive for? The only thing that makes you happy? It effects everything that you say and do. If you dig deep into these quotes, you can see what he’s really craving.

By discovering the mystery of Rapunzel’s hair, Varian gets credit and especially admiration. By showing his idol his inventions, he’s expecting Eugene to tell him what a genius he is or how amazed he is that this fourteen year old kid could build all this. The third one is just wanting Cassandra to recognize him since he looks up to her, and went to great lengths to impress her. Even when he helped her, it was still because he wanted to impress her and get her to help him in return. Throughout that episode he’s trying so hard to get her to compliment his work. In three of these examples, he gets the adoration he asked for. But that’s the problem: he asked for it. Eugene and Cass essentially tell him the same thing, “you’re a great, smart kid with good intentions.” And both times he responds more...despondently. For Cass it’s “thanks for saying that.” For Eugene it’s just looking at him sadly because this wasn’t what he wanted to hear. In essence: it isn’t enough.

And the last quote obviously represents the affirmation he craves the most, his father’s, and the one that he doesn’t get.

Even slight comments like “I build it myself,” “of my own design,” and “wanna see my new invention?” all have the underlying motive of craving affirmation from his peers. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, but since Varian often has tunnel-vision and can’t see the consequences of his actions, it quickly becomes an issue. Especially in the case of, of course, the black rocks.

Taking it Too Far

We find out that Varian discovered the rocks in Great Expotations. Rapunzel inadvertently tasked him with figuring out how to get rid of them, and in his mind he needed to. To impress her and possibly all of Corona. So he ran tests and got reprimanded by his dad probably more than once. But this is the biggest thing he could ever do: rescue his village and the kingdom and make his dad proud in the process. That’s why he wanted to come with him and hopefully talk to the king. Yes, in this case he actually wants to help his village, he’s not heartless and he cares a lot, but he’s predominantly focusing on the rewards that will come after he figured it out.

Of course we know his plans go awry again, but he never stops focusing on his goal of making his dad proud of him. Seriously...NEVER.

Taking it WAY Too Far

Enter: Villain Arc. Suddenly his need to be adored and affirmed flips upside down. He doesn’t want compliments anymore, he wants people to fear him, respect him, and listen to him.

Examples:

“I have asked for help and have been ignored, I will not be ignored any longer!”

“I tried asking for help in a civil manner but was denied by everyone in Corona. So, unfortunately, this is my only remaining recourse.”

“I’ll make them hear me...”

I touched on this in my Confidence analysis, but Varian never loses his drive. And his want to be revered, consumes him. Even when he goes to prison, he joins Andrew and takes over Corona to be feared. But he soon realizes, it’s still not enough. His want for revenge doesn’t satisfy him or make him happy, it just makes him feel worse as the weight of what he’s done gradually crashes down on him.

By the time Rapunzel comes back, it’s all an act. He’s not craving adoration anymore. He just wants a way out of this cycle of disappointment that isn’t getting him anywhere. You can tell from the lines, too.

“Me? No, not really.”

“So that no one will forget they turned their back on my father!”

“I took their queen prisoner! I threatened their princess! I helped these guys take over their kingdom!”

Now the first one is small, but it actually shows a lot of development (even if he says it in a rather dorky way) because he’s not taking credit for something or taking the “fear” that he wanted so badly. The second one just sounds like a threat but it’s not “they turned their backs on me,” like it was in season 1. It’s back to his father, and it’s, in a way, humbling Varian by taking himself out of the picture. And of course the last one is the most evident: he’s listing his faults and realizing he doesn’t deserve the adoration he used to crave so much.

Making it Right

During Varian’s redemption...we see these thoughts really come to light.

“All I ever wanted was for my father to be proud. But if he were free from the amber now, and saw everything I’ve done, well he’d be ashamed.”

This is his turning point. This is where he owns up to how warped and twisted his mindset was and makes an effort to fix it with Rapunzel. Not for himself; not for the glory, but because it’s the right thing to do. He knows he messed up with the Quirineon, and he’s literally willing to die to make up for his mistakes. This is a direct contrast to his previous statement: “I will make you proud of me, dad. If it’s the last thing I ever do.”

Because if he dies fixing his mistakes, he doesn’t expect any kind of praise. He’d leave a legacy of horrible deeds that would never make his dad proud; but he’d be saving Corona and that’s all that matters. Of course he doesn’t actually die, thank goodness, and Rapunzel saves Corona instead, but he’s learned something from this whole experience. And one thing he especially didn’t expect was for Rapunzel to keep her promise after everything. And even when his dad finally says those words...they were supposed to mean everything, but they don’t. It still isn’t enough. Especially not after everything that’s happened. I touched on this in another analysis as well, but he feels like he doesn’t deserve those words.

From this point, Varian has a whole new outlook on life, not dependent on gaining recognition. He’s still the cocky, confident alchemist we know and love, but he shows off his inventions because he’s proud of them, and that’s enough. He saves Corona from the red rocks because he genuinely wants to help his kingdom, he doesn’t have any underlying motives whatsoever. He helps with the Demanitus Scroll because he wants to help Rapunzel figure everything out. And at the end he helps defeat Zhan Tiri because he knows he can help, and he genuinely wants to. (And here’s where I get emotional.)

Varian doesn’t once ask for compliments or a “thank you” throughout season 3, yet that’s exactly what he gets. After all of those years of seeking and yearning for adoration, he finally gets it when he doesn’t need it anymore.

In every selfless thing he does for Corona, he gets a reward in some way. When he rescues the kingdom from black rocks, he didn’t ask for anything in return, yet his reputation was restored. When he agreed to help with the scroll, he actually got to work in Demanitus’ Lab, someone he’s admired forever. And when he helps with the portal, he gets to go see Demanitus’ tomb and I mean...

that’s the happiest we’ve ever seen him. And it isn’t just the big things either, it’s the little ones. The way that Rapunzel calls him “a genius,” when he doesn’t ask for it or allude to it in any way. The “good job, buddy,” that Eugene tells him after he fixes up the balloon. And every time he’s complimented, he stays humble. He even responds one time with “just doing my part.”

And at the very end of his arc, after all of that selfless work he did for Corona out of the goodness of his own heart, he’s given his very own title of “Royal Engineer.” An official position in the kingdom that people truly look up to and respect.

Conclusion

This is honestly one the most well-done character arcs I’ve ever seen, because it’s absolute poetic justice. At the beginning, Varian is so focused on his own need of affirmation that he forgets everything else, and jeopardizes himself on multiple occasions. Especially when his motives become warped. But when he finally sets his pride and his own ambitions aside and realizes he’s already enough, that’s when he gets the respect and adoration that he had always wanted. And that my friends...is CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT.

[k-rising]

Yedam's birth chart analysis

DISCLAIMER: This is just a part of the analysis of the idol’s natal chart, which wants to show a deeper perspective on the idols life. This analysis is carried out thanks to the data that appears in the birth chart. These are my interpretations of the signs and how they work based on my experiences with them. Everyone has different opinions and all interpretation and experiences within is valid. The point of this post is to entertain. [This idol hasn’t confirmed his birth time, so I used the standard 12pm time to calculate his natal chart].

𝐓𝐚𝐮𝐫𝐮𝐬 𝐒𝐮𝐧

calm

loyal

loves comfort

stubborn

quite possessive

wants mental and emotional security

Sun sextile Moon

self confidence!!

yedam is firm on who he is and people can be attracted to him because of that confidence

very easy going

tries to avoid conflicts

Sun sextile Jupiter

very optimistic

LUCKY

this position brings a lot of opportunities to yedam

however, there can be a false over-confidence here

he knows how to approach and solve the most difficult problems

yedam also has an instinct for justice

he's good at guiding others and is a great counselor, specially when it comes to work!

talking about work, this position also suggests yedam to work with groups

Sun square Neptune

self-deception

quite manipulative

he has to overcome a lot of things in order to elevate himself

𝐏𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐌𝐨𝐨𝐧

a dreamer

a magnificent artist

idealistic

very romantic

perceptual

intuitive

he automatically tunes in with the moods and thoughts of others

tends to isolate himself quite often

his way of facing reality is to avoid it

Moon square Venus

fears intimacy

yedam can get into a relationship, but then he will get bored and will start to see flaws in his partner

his romantic desires and his emotional needs clashes here

he might not know what he really wants

tends to get into bad company a lot

yedam can also be easily used :(

Moon square Mars

doesn't like showing vulnerability

tends to act more aggressive then he really is

routines are boring for him

he can also have little regard for others feelings

Moon trine Jupiter

friendly

honest

authentic

warm

always wants to broaden his knowledge

people feels comfortable around him

Moon square Saturn

awkward with emotions

a lot of self-doubt

it's hard for him to take compliments

trust issues

it can be also hard for yedam to connect with people on an emotional level

he might have a hard time accepting his struggles

Moon square Pluto

has a hard time accepting and healing from traumas

his emotions tend to block out his desires and his inner self

he doesn't know how to express himself well

Moon square North Node

yedam can lack drive for moving foreward OR might have a fear of moving on

𝐆𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢 𝐌𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐲

quick and free mind

witty

adaptable

flexible

tends to overthink A LOT

inteligent af

can be easily distracted

Mercury conjunct Venus

i don't remember if yedam's a songwriter, but this aspect indicates that he's REALLY good with his words

charms others whenever he speaks

communicates in an easygoing way

doesn't like when conflicts arises

Mercury conjunct Mars

whenever he starts talking, he can't stop lmao

he has so much energy when he speaks

tends to change his mind at the last minute

yedam isn't afraid on giving his opinions

he also likes to talk with people that are as straightforward as him

Mercury conjunct Saturn

reserved

logical

this aspect blocks self expression

overanalyzes conversations

tends to worry a lot when talking

self critical

Mercury square Uranus

shearing his beliefs can be hard for yedam

unpredictable in communication

can be easily misunderstood

has a restless mind

Mercury trine Neptune

has a lovely voice! so pleasing and calming :')

an amazing artist

creativity out of this world

again, an incredible songwriter!

lives in his own fantasy world

thinks outside of the box

𝐆𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢 𝐕𝐞𝐧𝐮𝐬

likes flirting quite a lot ;)

likes someone who can surprise him and be mentally active

talking, sharing ideas, going out to different places and learning new things with his partner is important for his happiness

can get bored easily, so variety is needed

more interested in the sense of humor and intelligence than in the physical appearance of a person

the best love for him is one in which him and his lover have an emotional bond of both friendship and lovers

Venus conjunct Mars

again, he's the type of person that will tease his lover just to keep things exciting lol

everyone's crush

falls in love quickly

he's magnetic and will probably don't know why

Venus conjunct Saturn

tends to attract mature/grounded people

actually, maturity can be a big topic around his love life

late marriages

maybe he will be with a partner that will make him mature OR maybe it's going to be the other way around

Venus trine Neptune

has an idealistic view of love and life

believes in true love

expresses himself through music

can get into unusual relationships OR meet his partner in a very strange way

empathetic

way too tolerant with people

Venus opposite Pluto

holds grudges a lot

attracted to mysterious people

can attract "bad lovers"

might have an obsessive view towards love

can get into manipulation and controlling behaviors in his relationships

transforms and grow quickly in relationships

can be drawn to astrology or have some psychic abilities O.O

Venus conjunct North Node

okay, with this aspect i can interpret that lessons will be learned through his job OR through his relationships

he will eventually succeed as a singer :')

attracts beauty and comfort

relationships of all kind are very important for yedam

he can have one relationship in particular that can change his life

𝐆𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐬

he definitely loves speaking lmao

hella sociable

clueless

very debatable

restless

has an active and critical mind

gets bored easily, so variety is needed here

likes keeping himself busy

it makes sense that he decided to persuade the singing career, since he's very energetic

adaptable

sarcastic

witty

Mars conjunct Saturn

self-control

cold when angry

suppressed feelings of anger

could be hesitant towards different opportunities

Mars trine Neptune

brave and passionate with his imagination... but this combination can also mislead yedam somehow

Mars opposite Pluto

can be very combative/aggressive

passion and control are a big theme here

wants to be seen as dominant

defends others a lot

learning through experiences

he's constantly looking for answers

Mars conjunct North Node

this is an amazing aspect for self-esteem!

has a huge drive to evolve

𝐆𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢 𝐒𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐮𝐦

a social butterfly

moody

gets bored easily

needs constant mental stimulation

has a lot of ideas

energy comes randomly when he least expect it

𝐂𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐉𝐮𝐩𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐫

guided by his heart

attracts good luck when he's compassionate and caring with others

yedam knows how to make others feel good

he also attracts good luck when being imaginative and creative

he needs to listen more to his intuitive side to go through the right path

security is hella important for yedam

very artistic

𝐆𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧

speaking in public may be a challenge for him!

can feel isolated a lot, specially when it comes to communication

he always have new ideas, but can fear trying new things

might feel tense quite a lot

doesn't like superficiality

relates better to logical thinking

Saturn trine Neptune

a practical person

a dreamer, but one that has his feet on the ground

when work doesn't involve with purpose and imagination, he won't put any energy on it

Saturn conjunct North Node

when he was a kid he already knew what he wanted to do with his life

yedam's devoted and firm with his goals

fears and shames can get in the way of his evolution

Pluto opposite North Node

yedam should be careful on not confusing his desires with what is actually good for him

𝐆𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢 𝐍𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐍𝐨𝐝𝐞

his life mission is to be more communicative, social and intelectual

yedam needs to listen more and be more curious

his life mission is to be assertive

[j-wont-stop]

The Scarred (Chapter Four)

Title - The Scarred (Chapter Four)

Word Count - 2002

Fandom -  Batman: The Dark Knight

Pairing - Ledger!Joker x OC

Summary - Penelope Bishop works at a florist shop in Gotham, barely getting by in the corrupted city. Her life is shrouded by therapy and judgement with little light to find her way with. However, when a certain painted face starts making himself known to her, things take a turn.

Warning(s) - Light cussing, flashbacks/nightmares, smoking

Inspiration - Cold (Aqualung & Lucy Schwartz)

Masterlist

A/N - Sorry for the later post, I’ve been on 12 hour shifts lately and it’s messing up my schedule :/

“The hell is happening?” Penelope whispered to herself as she stared with a wide eye. She carded a hand through her hair, unsure of what to do, what to think. Whoever was behind this, they were intelligent. Patient and calculative. It frightened her. It frightened her and yet she hadn’t even met the person. That was the most unnerving part about it all.

Her hands moved to pick up the larger shards to throw away, then to grab the broom and sweep the rest. She scrambled to look through every hatch, every door, cabinet and closet for anything that might have been left behind. Yet there was nothing. Once more, the only sign that someone had been there was the face that had been cleared already. There was no lingering smell, not even a hair.

“Okay,” She muttered. “Okay-okay.” Her mouth rambled on as she carried out her night routine, heart pounding faster than she would have appreciated as she tried to relax under the warm stream of water. Her feet padded against the cold tile as she tended to her scars, pacing the small room before throwing on her pajamas. She raced to her jacket, fumbling through the pockets for her phone and shuffled through her contacts. The coldness of it rested against her ear as she chewed on her cheek, wiggling the fingers of her left hand absentmindedly.

“Penny?” The familiar voice made her perk up. “What’s up?”

“I just needed someone to talk to…” The woman practically whispered. She made her way to lay on her bed, listening attentively to the shuffling in the background over the phone.

“Oh, ’course, hun,” Emma had an underlying tone of understanding in her voice. “Did everything hold up okay at the shop?” Penelope thought back to the bald man.

“Yeah-everything went fine. Sold three vases.” She started fiddling with the hem of her shirt.

“Three? That’s amazing!”

The voices echoed in the auditorium, the petite woman messing with the tassel that hung from her head. Everyone migrated to their families after having all walked the stage, visiting friends from time to time to say their goodbyes or reminisce in their memories. The woman searched for a familiar brunette bun, but her height made it all the more difficult.

“Penny!” She turned to face the voice, but was soon met with engorging flames. They towered over them all, everyone screaming and scattering in a panic. “Penny!” The voice screeched again, but no matter how many times she spun around and searched, she couldn’t find them. She started sweating profusely, both from the heat and stress of it all. Flames licked her skin, almost teasing it before it grew volatile.

Penelope’s eye snapped open, breathing heavily. Her hair stuck to her skin from the cold sweat she was left in. She laid there for a moment or two, collecting herself as best as she could. She listened to the wind humming through her window, the birds chirping as the sun’s first rays peaked through the clouds. She closed her eye again, imagining the bird. What kind of bird it was, what it was doing. Perhaps it was a swallow? It’s boring, brown feathers smooth as they glided and fluttered. The curious black eyes that fidgeted as it cocked and turned its head.

She took deep breaths, opening her eye once more to sit herself up on the edge of her twin bed. She stared at the soft carpet below her, loathing herself for waking up at such an ungodly hour. The faintest shade of blue colored the sky if she were to squint. Penelope then stood, stumbling over to her dresser to change out of her now drenched sleepwear. She thought about taking a quick heat dump to cool her off, but the amount of energy it took for her to get in the shower right now made her shudder, so she settled with splashing cold water on her face instead.

She trudged into the living room to her box TV, turning it on and having the low noise of the news play in the background as she migrated to the kitchen. She decided to simply pop an egg sandwich from the freezer into the microwave, pouring herself a glass of milk to go along with it. She bounced when she plopped onto the couch, pulling the lap blanket from the top of it to wrap herself up in. Her eye stared at the screen with a bored expression, heavy as she watched.

With how consistent the news was it was a wonder to her how it was never a rerun. The same news anchor, the same monotone voice with the same type of news. A new murder case, Bruce Wayne’s next trip to an extravagant venue, cloudy skies with an expected drizzle all week. None of it came as a surprise to her anymore.

Crime rates continued to slowly increase, the mob being thrown into a tizzy ever since The Joker showed up. Little changed since he was caught and put in Arkham. If anything, the people just grew into a rampage once they found out what had happened to their newfound idol. Penelope would be lying, however, if she said she wasn’t intrigued. From what she had seen on the news and heard from around the city, he was a very finicky person. He seemed so clumsy and careless, yet was always the one in control. No one could ever predict what he would do next, keeping everyone on their toes at all times.

She somewhat felt bad for the first responders who seemed to just be ragdolled from one end of the city to the other or thrown into ever frequent traps when he was out and about. She couldn’t deny that the thought of it made her snicker, wondering how they hadn’t learned their lesson the first few times. How they thought that The Joker being locked up would put their minds at ease. It was all a joke.

A vibration sounded from her phone and she looked to where it buzzed on the coffee table, the green icon showing that she had received a message. She reached over and picked it up, flipping it open in curiosity.

I’m stopping by Gotham Coffee. Want anything?

Emma. Penelope smiled at her phone, fingers moving to reply when another buzz went off. An unknown number, and all that was sent was the number twelve. That was all she needed to know who it was.

———————————————————————

The two women sat at the counter, sipping casually from their now cold coffee cups as they made small talk. Emma noticed how tense Penelope had seemed when she first entered the shop, what with her stiff posture and gaze cast down on the floor more so than usual, so it was a relief to see her smile a little more the longer they talked. They had just finished with one of their many giggle fits when the bell of the shop went off, cutting it short. Their heads snapped to the front and Penelope’s stomach dropped, mouth suddenly dry.

Once again, the light of the shop reflected off of the bald man’s head as his eyes focused on her own. With every step he took she felt as if she just shrunk smaller and smaller. It wasn’t until he stood directly in front of them that she shot up from her seat, scrambling into the back room to grab the vase she previously prepared. Her multitude of tiny footsteps echoed from the back as Emma and the man practically held a staring contest, the latter holding a sickly sweet smile. When Penelope emerged from the back room with the vase her arms shakily handed it to him, sucking on her bottom lip anxiously. With how rough he seemed, the gentleness with which he handled the vase amused her. But she wouldn’t dare show it. Emma looked over at Penelope as soon as he left.

“Was he one of the three vases?” She quipped, quirking an eyebrow. Penelope took a deep breath in, then casted her a sheepish smile.

“Four.” Emma stood to throw away their coffee cups. “He paid yesterday. Said he was picking it up at noon today.”

“How much?” Penelope’s mouth started to water, mouth faltering as she tried to form a response.

“Just twenty-five.” Emma, always having been good at reading people, knew she was being lied to, but for her friend’s sake decided not to push. She knew that if Penelope ever held something back, she did so for good reason. She just chuckled.

“How was it when he ordered it?” Her voice took on an amused tone. “‘Begonia and baby’s breath, please’.” She mocked the man, driving the two of them back into a giggling fit. They wasted the day away talking, trying to busy themselves one way or another until the end of the day. The last hour was the hardest. In silence they sat and watched the grandfather clock tucked away in a corner. Yet it only worsened their predicament.

Fridays had always been slower than any other day, and it was on Fridays that they truly realized that time was never on their side. When they had fun, it flew by. When they wanted something to just be over with, it dragged on. It was cruel. Time was cruel. Life was cruel. Penelope knew these things. So when the clock sounded at the hour they were out the front door, Emma locking up the shop and tossing Penelope a smile. They gave each other their ‘goodbye’s and ‘have a good weekend’s and made their way back to their respective homes. The city was in chaos, full of eager citizens who all wanted the same thing as Emma and Penelope. Some had already made their ways into their local bars, choosing to drown out their lives or celebrate simply because they made it through another week.

As for Penelope, she sat on the edge of her open windowsill and watched. A cigarette balanced between her lips as she struck a match and lit the end of it, shaking it out as she breathed in the all-needed nicotine. Her weekly treat. She rested her head on the wall beside her, the buzz starting to get to her after a significantly larger inhale. She stared out at the scenery in wonder, mind finding its first moment of peace since the last time she had a smoke.

Then a sudden knocking on her door jolted her from her spot, the stick nearly falling from her mouth. She quickly put it out in the ashtray next to her and climbed down to close her window, bare feet skittering across the floor. She stood on her tip-toes to look through the peep-hole, yet no one stood at the door. She unlatched it and opened it cautiously, peeking through until something caught her eye. She opened the door a bit wider to see a familiar vase sat on top of her welcome mat. Her vase. She noticed something dangling off to the side and delicately picked up the flowers to see what it was, and what she saw made her heart make its way to her throat. A playing card. A Joker card dangled from the vase.

[sweetbitterimpossiblecreature]

Feysand: An Objective Perspective

Is Rhysand An Abuser?

First, if we mean to be objective, we must use an objective classification. What is domestic abuse? According to facs.nsw.gov.au, “It’s when there is violent, abusive or bullying behaviour or actions towards a partner or former partner to scare and control them. It can happen at home or outside the home. It causes fear and harm to the body, mind and spirit.”

The Domestic Abuse Hotline also has this to say: “Domestic violence (also referred to as intimate partner violence (IPV), dating abuse, or relationship abuse) is a pattern of behaviors used by one partner to maintain power and control over another partner in an intimate relationship.”

Hopefully, we can agree on those two definitions. Now, does Rhysand demonstrate “violent, abusive or bullying behaviour”? Do his actions fall into “a pattern of behaviors used by one partner to maintain power and control”?

The simple answer: it’s complicated. Because of the way Sarah J. Maas has written this series, Rhysand is The Ultimate Man Male. He can essentially do no wrong. Any bad behavior is swept under the guise of his “mask”- i.e., the scene in the Court of Nightmares. Or, if he hurts her, it is brushed off as for her own good- like the time Under The Mountain. This makes it difficult to figure out whether or not he is an abuser, or whether he’s just… like that. In order to understand this, I’m going to give a few examples of things that Tamlin, the known abuser of the series, has done to Feyre.

He infringed on her autonomy by preventing her from leaving the house, thereby limiting her rights.

He lost his temper and exploded a room with her inside of it, thereby putting her in danger.

Let’s look at examples of Rhysand, and what I believe to be some MAJOR red flags.

He purposefully does not tell her about vital information to do with her pregnancy. She almost dies because of this. This omission of information, to me, demonstrated a very clear lack of respect. Maybe, if she had known that there was a possibility she could die, she would have chosen to have an abortion- or, if he had told her beforehand, when she gave him her xmas present, she might not have chosen to have a baby at all. I don’t want to make this a pro-choice issue… but at some level, it is.

He sends her to the home of a cannibalistic, highly dangerous, ancient, powerful, vicious being to get a piece of jewelry, thereby putting her in a massive amount of danger. I cannot emphasize this enough. Putting someone in a situation where they could be eaten alive does not demonstrate your respect for them. I know Maas was trying to write him as a Sexy Consent King, like “hey babe i respect u SO much i’m going to send you to a monster’s lair because I TRUST YOUR aBILITIES BABE”, but… no. No.

Under The Mountain, he drugs her and puts her on his lap, thereby limiting her rights. Not even going to bother to elaborate. Y’all know this by heart.

In conclusion: It isn’t black and white. I believe he positions himself as the king of consent and giving her choices while maneuvering it so that she has less and less choices as they go along (i.e. him not telling her about the crucial pregnancy info), which definitely qualifies as abusive behavior. But someone else might see it differently. From my perspective, it is abuse. But because I swore this was going to be objective, I’m going to say my final answer is: think about it.

On The Issue Of Rhysand And “Consent”

Again, for the people in the back: Putting someone in a situation where they could be eaten alive does not demonstrate your respect for them. Here’s a post that talks about consent much better than I could. In her words, “idolizing consent over lives” is dangerous, harmful, and very real. Do NOT blindly regurgitate every *woke* maxim on consent that you read! Let’s not, as a society, get to a point where it’s like: “Do I have your consent to pour this drink over your head because you said something beyond offensive about my ethnicity?” or “Do I have your consent to take away your car keys so you won’t drive drunk and possible harm others/yourself?” Trust your gut.

How does this relate to Rhysand? Well, first of all, he undeniably puts her in danger. This is justified by the contrast between him and Tamlin. Maas essentially is telling us that Tamlin limits her by keeping her out of danger, and Rhysand empowers her by giving her access to danger. And it’s very easy to get caught in the undertow of this strange logic. Believe me, it is. When I first read the ACOTAR series, I was jiving along with all of your Fuck Tamlin Let Him Die playlists. But here’s a radical idea: imperilment is not a love language. I am not saying that Tamlin was a better option. I am saying that it is possible to respect someone and their right to their own decisions without putting them in danger.

On Making Her High Lady

While it’s fucked up that before Feyre, there were no High Ladies, Feyre incontrovertibly should not be High Lady. Why? Because in fae terms, she is an infant. She learned to read a few years ago. (I am not ridiculing her for her illiteracy, because I understand that the circumstances in which she grew up did not allow for a literate education. That is completely understandable! However, what is not understandable is putting this woman into a position of staggering political power. Learning to read a few years ago means that her comprehension rate is likely a lot lower than the average Velaris citizen. It is… not good for the ruler of a territory to be less capable than the average citizen. This would be like if the president didn’t have a high school diploma.). She has no knowledge of the political landscape. She does not understand etiquette (i.e. her physically attacking someone because of an insult, although to be 100% fair, Rhysand did the same.)

Hey, Feyre! Someone slut-shaming your mate for sleeping with Fae Hitler is not grounds for murder! In ordinary life, it would be grounds for slapping him in the face or something similar, but YOU ARE TRYING TO HAVE A CRISIS COMMITTEE BETWEEN TERRITORIES, WHICH HAS THE POTENTIAL TO SAVE THOUSANDS OF LIVES. An inability to sacrifice one’s ego, even at the potential loss of life, is a worrying characteristic in a ruler.

In Conclusion:

Feyre is not unproblematic when one looks at her decisions as a whole. While the narrative positions events so that they all turn out in her favor, as one would expect given that authors not only write character but plots, in a real-life situation - or just a more realistic plot - her actions would harm many, many people. Rhysand’s behavior towards Feyre is worrying as well, and objectively I think it’s fair to say qualify as signs, if not absolute empirical evidence of abuse.

[mysterypond]

The Effect of Ging’s Absence on Gon

I see a lot of posts villainizing Ging for “leaving Gon behind”. Ignoring the logistics of this (in that Mito actually took custody from him for unknown reasons), what is the impact left behind?

Gon didn’t learn about Ging until Kite came to visit, and Kite told him all sorts of stories about how his dad was super cool, and he had this role called a “hunter”. I think learning about Ging in this type of situation really sparked a curiosity in Gon. 

A Hunter, something to aspire to be. Ging wasn’t dead like Mito said, no, he was out there, doing a job that was so important to him that he left Gon behind. And now Gon wanted nothing more than to see what being a hunter was all about, because it had to be something amazing, right? Right? He didn’t idolize Ging in a traditional hero worship way, but more as an end goal. 

It’s interesting that Gon’s initial goal isn’t to search for Ging himself. It’s to become a hunter. I think that’s important to note because at the beginning, at least, Ging himself wasn’t a goal. It wasn’t until he got the message Ging left behind for him that he really had any interest in finding him. Because now that he was a hunter, he needed something to hunt. And what better hunt than to search for his own elusive father. 

I don’t think he has traditional abandonment issues. He isn’t clingy in any of his relationships, nor does he push people away. Instead, I think most of his issues from this situation point to his self esteem.

Gon has low self preservation. This, in turn, ends up impacting his relationships with other people because he ends up inadvertently hurting them with his actions and disregard for his physical safety. 

Ging’s famous line “enjoy the little detours in life because it’s there where you’ll find what you’re looking for” is opposite to how Gon sees the world many times. Gon focuses on end goals quite often, which is why he ends up getting so beat up in fights instead of just quitting when it gets too rough. If he can just make it a bit further, he can win. And that’s a bit of a dangerous mindset because it makes everything in the middle just “not matter” to him. We see it time and time again, where he has a disregard for physical safety. 

And why is that? I think Gon feels he has something to prove. He needs to prove he’s strong enough, tough enough, determined enough to be a hunter. Because if he isn’t, then what’s the point of it all? I feel deep down, he might not feel worthy of being a hunter because it’s somehting he’s strived for, for so long, and then once he got his lisence it was over. That’s it, he’s a hunter now. Congratulations. And the spark of joy and knowing why Ging became a hunter just isn’t there at all. So he needs to keep searching for it, try to find it, but if he can’t find that spark then maybe he wasn’t supposed to become a hunter in the first place. And that’s a scary thought, isn’t it. 

And then we have Greed Island, and I think this is where Gon really solidifies his drive to find Ging himself. Greed Island was made for Gon, as a training space. Again, Gon felt the need to prove himself in numerous situations. Because I think that he does secretly want Ging to be proud of him, to notice some of his accomplishments and nod along. I think Greed Island made him feel special, especially that there was an ending at the end, just for him. And that’s why he was still happy go lucky about meeting Kite again, he thought Ging must have planned that they’d have met years ago, as ridiculous as that sounds. 

I don’t think Gon hates Ging at all, and I don’t think he has any “angst” from Ging not being in his life. I do think his absence has caused some self esteem issues. 

[murdereraisuha]

Alright, time to continue the Pair Swap AU I made a post on a week ago. This post will focus on Vil & Epel as bickering 1st years, Lilia and Malleus as mentor and rebellious mentee, and Silver & Sebek as boss and henchman.

---

So, for Vil and Epel, Vil is now aged down to 16 so he can be part of the 1st year squad, meaning that he isn’t as powerful/skilled as he is at 18 and he’s probably less mature as well. In canon, when Vil and Epel first meet at the entrance ceremony, Vil absolutely destroys Epel in combat. However, with the difference in age taken away, and given that both of them have likely already worked to become strong, the fight might not be so one-sided. Therefore, for this AU, their fight is going to end in a draw due to running out of time before the dorm sorting begins. Once they discover that they’re both in Pomefiore, a rivalry forms between them based on their differing ideologies.

I imagine that in this relationship, Epel would be like Ace while Vil would be like Deuce. Since Vil does not have the power to effectively control Epel, Epel is free to wear what he wants, behave like he wants, and talk how he wants. This would likely put him in conflict with the others in Pomefiore the same as how Ace conflicts with Riddle and the Queen of Heart’s rules in canon. For Vil, I feel like he already has a dream of eventually becoming the dorm leader, so he would strive to make a good impression on the other Pomefiore students. However, now, his rivalry with Epel and the disgraceful scenes that their spats might cause would likely hinder his plans to some degree.

Since Vil’s not the dorm leader in this AU, we have to sort out the state of the dorm and what Rook’s doing. Rook is all about observing the beauty of others and doing what he can to help nurture that beauty. In canon, he focuses on Vil’s beauty, so he accepts the position of vice dorm leader so he can be close to Vil. I think it’s safe to assume that in canon, no other Pomefiore students in Rook’s grade match up to Vil, so in this AU there’s been no one in particular for Rook to latch onto. Therefore, I think that Rook is going to be dorm leader here, since it would allow him to better observe + nurture beauty within the rest of Pomefiore, and he also gets to be in dorm leader meetings with Leona. Also it’s funny for one of the 7 dorm heads of NRC to secretly be a super fan boy for an RSA student. The vice dorm leader is therefore going to be some random mob, since that position gets decided before the entrance ceremony and Rook probably can’t switch the mob out for some random firstie unless the mob does something to warrant losing his position.

So now the dynamic of the Pomefiore trio is basically going to be a dad and his 2 moody kids. In terms of story, I feel like Rook would see the potential of Vil & Epel to be dorm leader / vice dorm leader in the future, so he might use the VDC as a way to help them uncover that potential and also learn to work together better. Therefore, I feel like the story doesn’t have to change much besides Vil and Epel’s conflict during the preparation for the competition being different. I could change it completely to eliminate Neige and replace him with Epel, so Vil’s angry at Epel for his natural beauty and he tries to steal the spotlight from him or something, but I feel like that’s going too far away from the dynamic of canon Ace and Deuce, so I’ll leave it at that.

---

Since their immortality’s been passed to Ortho & Idia in this AU, Malleus and Lilia are now both teenagers. Lilia’s family has served the Valley of Thorn’s royal family for a long time, but, so as to not infringe on the master & servant dynamic that’s gone to Riddle & Trey, Lilia has only been tasked with looking after Malleus since he started attending NRC.

Since I equalized Vil and Epel’s ages, I’m going to separate Malleus and Lilia’s ages. Welcome to the 1st year squad, Tsunotarou. I’m also going to make Lilia the dorm leader now. Since Malleus is such a naturally powerful wizard and Lilia doesn’t have hundreds of years of experience over Malleus anymore, I feel like I have to give Lilia that age and position advantage for him to stand a chance against Malleus and enforce the mentor & rebellious mentee dynamic.

Since Malleus is still a prince, he isn’t going to be as openly hostile as Epel so his form of rebellion is going to be on the passive aggressive side. As an immature 16 year old prince who can finally go outside whenever he wants now at NRC, he wants to savor his freedom as much as he can regardless of any concerns about safety that this random short guy voices, even if the random short guy is his dorm leader and someone specifically tasked to help protect him. However, Lilia is still pretty powerful and wise even as an 18 year old, so there’s gonna be stuff like Lilia confronting Malleus about something, Malleus teleporting somewhere to escape the lecture, then a swarm of bats instantly ambushing him because Lilia guessed where Malleus would try and escape to. Poor Malleus.

---

With Lilia getting bumped up to dorm leader, I can’t think of anyone more fit to move up into the vice dorm leader spot than Silver. Since, again, Lilia is just a teenager in this AU, Silver is Lilia’s adopted little brother now instead of his son. Also, since much more of Lilia’s time is spent making sure Malleus doesn’t get into trouble, a lot of the duties of managing the dorm fall to Silver. Anyway, with the dorm situation figured out, how exactly do we apply a boss & henchman dynamic to Silver and Sebek?

So, what we have is

The being knights thing is given to Ace & Deuce now, so Silver and Sebek don’t have the duty of protecting Malleus or anything now.

Even if they tried, Malleus’s rebelliousness means that they would utterly fail since they don’t have the skills of Lilia.

Sebek has a lot of respect for Lilia and Malleus.

Alright, to make this work, here’s what I’m thinking: Sebek is ecstatic about entering NRC alongside prince Malleus. While he isn’t trying to become a knight, Sebek still trains hard for some other goal and he hopes that he can learn from those that he admires. However, absorbed in the euphoria of freedom, Malleus accidently snubs Sebek. Rejected by one of his idols, Sebek approaches the other: the powerful dorm leader, Lilia. However, Lilia’s too occupied with Malleus to spare much attention for Sebek. With his wounded pride winning out over his prejudices and letting him lower his standards, Sebek settles for trying to work for vice dorm leader Silver. 

So it becomes this weird relationship where Sebek is helping Silver with his duties and trying to learn from him since Silver is probably pretty strong even without the drive of becoming a knight, but also Sebek criticizes him a lot and sometimes ignores Silver in favor of chasing opportunities to speak to Lilia and/or Malleus. Since Silver is a Good Boy (tm) I don’t think their relationship can get the scheming aspect of canon Leona & Ruggie’s partnership, but Silver’s relaxed attitude and occasional airheadedness means that Sebek is probably going to be running around and cleaning up after Silver much like canon Ruggie does for Leona. I feel sorry for the rest of the Diasomnia students. Sorry for plunging your dorm into chaos my dudes.

[softlyjiminie]

black swan | three.

⇢ pairing(s): professional dancer!park jimin x figure skater!reader.

⇢ word count: 4.1K.

⇢ rating: 16+, mature.

⇢ genre: angst, eventual smut, fluff, e2l, fake dating!au, corrupted idol!au, dancer!au, figure skater!au.

⇢ summary: a life of skating was all you’d ever known, your heart craving the feeling of ice beneath your feet and the light brush of cool air against your skin under thousands of sparkling lights… what a shame, if only you’d known that one night, one accident could rip you from the life you’d grown to love, leaving your career in the unsteady hands of the prince of ballet, park jimin.

⇢ warning(s): please read for this chapter! heavy angst, social media bullying, mentions of drugs ( weed ), mentions of alcohol and drinking, angry jimin!

⇢ author’s note(s): hello my loves! sorry for posting this so late but i really hope you enoy this chapter. i might have to delay chapter four, for a special post in order of joon n koo’s birthday! love you lots.

⇢ previous | series masterlist | next

“park... you’re out, bail’s been paid.”

jimin rolls his shoulders at the call of his name, standing from his seat on the cold metal bench. he shakes out the blonde in his hair, deciding that the colour was too good and that he’d probably dye it a darker shade as soon as he was back in the safety of his penthouse. smirking, he grabs his discarded leather jacket... designer of course and slings it over his left shoulder— poking his tongue into his cheek as the officer unlocks his cell with a deep blush.

“you sure you don’t want to join me in here one last time sweetheart?”

the officer looks down, fumbling with the keys in her hand as a blush paints her heated face. “wouldn’t you get in trouble for that? another scandal wouldn’t be good for your career,” she bites down on her lower lip and the cat like smile on jimin’s face only grows wider— his forefinger and thumb touch at her chin, tilting her head up to meet his dark eyes as if he’s going to kiss her. “especially now that the paps are outside...”

he only lets out a simple tut, staring down at her with a hooded gaze. “you wouldn’t have a career if you opened that pretty little mouth of yours, sweetheart.” the cop falls silent, not having the chance to reply as jimin parts ways with her— collecting his belongings on the way out. inmates clap and cheer for him, although he’d only been in this station for a night, he’s already built up a reputation for himself around town...drunk driving, speeding, possession of drugs. park jimin was booked in for nearly all of it; but got away with it practically every time.

the sunshine from outside blinds the dancer, harsh golden rays warming his skin in the most irritating of ways. instead, he tilts his shades down over his eyes and way from the mass of bleach blonde hair that swoops messily over one side of his face. cameras are situated around the station, jimin knows that for sure, he can’t see them but he can hear the clicks and flashes from paparazzi that hide in bushes around them. they all want jimin for this week’s front cover, it’s only obvious that he’ll make the headlines for the fifth week in a row but who’s to say he cares? flashing a toothy grin as he flips the middle finger to sneaky photographers that pretend not to be seen.

“you’re so immature, jimin,” hoseok, his manager scolds, fixing the hem of his tight and light grey christian dior suit. the man himself is only a little ways taller than jimin, hair parted and slicked down with brown tinted shades that hide the tiredness in his eyes. hoseok is not that much older than jimin, but they’ve worked together long enough for jimin to consider the elder his family— or more like a pestering older brother. his manager pulls him into a sleek black van parked not even three minutes from the police station, the walk taking longer as jimin stopped to wave at fans. he was a dancer, a performer— it didn’t matter where he was, he always had an audience and he always appealed to them. “get in the fucking car.” hoseok seethed through gritted teeth, opening the door for his client, who only smiled mischievously as he entered it.

slamming the door, hoseok circled the vehicle and climbed in from the passenger  side. “what’s got you in such a sour mood hyungie?” jimin hums lazily, leaning back into the plush, cream leather seats of his mercedes while his manager tuts in annoyance— gesturing for their driver (and body guard), seokjin, to head towards the dancer’s gated neighbourhood. running a hand through his blonde locks, jimin’s caramel eyes light up at the sight of his day bag of which he carries around on a daily basis— diving in he pulls out a box containing a few of his rolled joints. grabbing one and bringing it to the flesh of his plump lips, jimin frowns darkly, at the lack of lighter in his bag. “the fuck his my lighter?”

“i took it,” hoseok mumbles simply, rubbing his temple with his free hand, the other twirling jimin’s pink lighter between his own slender digits. the younger leans forward in his seat, restricted only by his seatbelt as they make their way through the L.A traffic— making a grab for the lighter which his manager swiftly pulls away and pockets. “you’ve been acting up again jimin, it’s not looking good for you—“

the dancer in question lurches forward once more, making seokjin swerve ever so slightly. “give me the damn lighter hoseok.” jimin seethes through gritted teeth, the hand that launched at his manager now digging into said man’s head rest. anger flares up in the dancer’s chest— he’s just spent the night in a fucking cell and all he wants to do is have a few puffs of his joint so that he can relax a little.

but hoseok doesn’t budge, easily sinking into the comfort of his seat. “you can’t keep doing this ji,” he scolds, watching the scenery pass by through their tinted windows. “this is the third time in the last two months that you’ve gotten booked into a station for something...” the younger rolls his eyes knuckles turning white. the manager feels a temper tantrum coming on, from the way his client breathes hotly down his neck. jimin had never been good at managing his anger, no one had ever known why— he was a brat for no damn reason but hoseok sensed there was always more to the blonde, that’s why he took him in. “speeding? when you could have waited for jin to pick you up. not to mention how the company shouldn’t be putting their money towards paying for your bail—“

“money that i bring into that fucking company? they wouldn’t have it if it weren’t for me.” the younger points out childishly... and to be fair, he’s not wrong. people from across the world came to see park jimin perform— if they were lucky enough. his graceful movements and talent for following the music no matter how it changed was always something that entranced his fans. jimin was their biggest source of revenue and a major asset, one of the only reasons they hadn’t fired him yet— hoseok supposed. “i’m park jimin, shit...they need me!”

hoseok sighs in defeat as their bodyguard pulls into jimin’s gated neighbourhood. the brunette turns to face his client, a worn out expression pulling at his heart shaped face. “just think about it jimin, if you don’t fix up and don’t stop your bitch fits... it could be over for you.” hoseok hates to scold jimin like this but he also knows it important that he learns. he flinches when the dancer scoffs, begrudgingly pulling out the pink lighter and passing it to the latter.

the younger simply snatches the small device from his hyung’s grasp, brining his joint to his lips and lighting it as he slides from the car.

he didn’t need to think about shit, he was park jimin for goodness sake.

social media was an evil place.

jimin was used to all types of comments across his socials. he knew he was meant to be in the studio for practice, but he was too deep into the internet to turn back now. so more often than not he found that he was drowned is all sorts of praises and love from his fans, complimenting him on his skills, his physic and his oh-so-beautiful face but sometimes, if he looked hard enough— there were those full of hatred and malice, intended break down the souls of those they were targeted at, break the soul of park jimin.

‘i used to love jimin, but he’s getting caught up in all this bad stuff... we might have to unstan...’

‘he’s still a great dancer, but i’m disappointed in how he’s acted recently.’

‘why do celebs think it’s funny to get arrested? it’s fucking cringe especially since they can afford bail? lol no offence park jimin.’

each word cuts sharply at his heart, like knives, creating deep wounds. it hurts to read them, so much so that it brings stinging tears to his eyes but he doesn’t let them fall— he hadn’t in a long time. moments like these lead the blonde to believe in his hyung’s words, was he a has been? was his career coming to an end? familiar insecurities rot his brain, draining what was once left of the boy who loved to dance.

he takes a sip of the bitter, honey liquid that fills his crystalline glass, eyes blurring and throat tightening at the burn the alcohol brings. a filling pain to ease the hurt in his heart. ‘fuck,’ jimin thinks, he’s fucked and he knows it. the dancer wonders if he had been different had his brother not fucked up his life, the older park was probably off somewhere doing god knows what with who knows who and jimin can’t help but let his mind wonder to what he would be doing if his brother wasn’t there. if his brother hadn’t caused that accident. before that day, jimin only ever dreamed of where he is now— practicing hard wherever he was; the canteen in high school, his bedroom, the kitchen when his mother was making his favourite dish.

god he missed those days.

slamming his glass down onto his island counter, jimin stretches his arms above his head so that his black fitted shirt rises up— brushing his tummy briefly. the news hums from the TV in the background, as he sways with sleepiness. something about an accident, something about a skater...he’s not listening. sighing in defeat, jimin grabs the bottle of special edition brandy and takes a lengthy swig while he makes his way to his on-suite bathroom. the dancer’s nimble fingers brush through the roots of his overbearingly blonde locks, fisting them as he looks into the mirror with reddened eyes and a broken heart.

taking another sip of his liquor, jimin finishes the substance off with a warm, fuzzy feeling in his chest before throwing the bottle in the trash and opening his cabinet, reaching for the dark hair dye that sits on the middle shelf.

stopping his mercedes benz, jimin parks his car outside of hangsang studios, the dance company that hired the boy. his eyes that reflect black under the artificial lights of the street lamp flicker up to the company logo cast into the side of the towering building— a scoff emitting from between his plump lips. the door to his car opens not a second later, aeri, jimin’s girlfriend slipping into the passenger’s side with a huff.

she throws her practice bag onto the back seat, making the dancer flinch as he presses his forehead to the steering wheel. “practice started at five, you know that right?” aeri seethes, buckling herself in and pulling down the mirror, she fluffs her blonde hair— colour similar to the one the dancer once possessed as she insisted on matching. “of course you don’t, god sometimes i wonder why i’m even with you...”

her words do nothing to the dancer as he sits up in his seat, pressing his foot into the peddles as he sets the gears into drive. ‘i sometimes wonder the same thing...’ jimin can’t help but think, sourly. he loved aeri, he did, but she was draining to be around— obsessed with the idea of being at the top, even if it meant criticising her lover at every point. he’d grown numb to her abuse by now. “i’m sorry, ri... i’ll be at practice next time.” he says instead, knowing very well that speaking his thoughts will only set the girl off. the streets are clearer than they were earlier in the day, fewer cars allowing jimin to pass through lanes with ease... his eyes focus on the road, but he longs to take in the scenery— just for a moment. to feel like the world has stopped in place. “i’ll make it up to you, babe.”

aeri scoffs, wrapping her arms around herself after she pokes jimin’s arm. he slows the car at the stop sign, watching with thin patience as the signals change from green to red, colour by colour. the girl turns to face him, lips drawn into a scowl and small hand taking a fistful of jimin’s darkened, navy locks. “dying your hair? is this what you skipped practice for? when will you take this showcase seriously jimin? fucking hell.”

the pinch in her tone irritates the life out the aforementioned dancer, so much so that his shoulders pick up while he begins to drive again. aeri wasn’t always like this, there was a time, back when they were trainees where jimin would have tripped over his feet to get her to notice him, they were usually paired for dancing events— closeness eventually leading them to dating. but now, she fancied the idea of being a star rather than the blue haired boy himself... the infamous new york showcase had always been her dream and jimin supposes he was only a stepping stone to that path. his name being a direct lead there, his money an added bonus. he knew that skipping practices made her mad, maybe that’s what why he did it— to get back at all the horrid words she’d spouted at him in the last few years.

“— and i swear, if you don’t clean up your act, i’ll leave you and find a new dance partner—“

jimin tunes back into her words, an empty threat that he’d heard from her many times before— looking into the rear view mirror he catches her humid gaze before making a turn towards her house. “i know baby, i’m sorry...i’ll do better, let me make it up to you, yeah?” he mumbles absentmindedly, using words that he knew would satisfy her appetite to being him down until the next time. “i’ll buy you that bag you wanted, hm? or those dance shoes you were after... will that do until i’ve caught up with dance?” aeri pulls at her hair in frustration, reaching behind her for her dance bag as she kicks her feet and screams like a petulant child.

“pull over!”

jimin does as he’s told, pushing his hands through his hair as anger rises in his chest— rattling inside his body as if asking for permission to break free. aeri waits for cars to pass before opening the door and storming out, not even giving her lover time to react. the blonde girl whips out her phone, texting someone jimin can’t see before the dancer’s wound down his window.

“aeri, come on doll, let’s not fight.” he tries to reason with her, but the will to keep her close has gone from her voice as she looks up at him with a fiery gaze. her chest rises and falls with anger, causing jimin to roll his eyes and bring his head back into the car. “you’re really gonna walk home?”

“no, my new dance partner is coming to pick me up because he’s not a lazy bum like—!”

jimin doesn’t stay to hear the rest of her cold insult, having had just about enough of her attitude, reversing the car and heading in the direction of his home, his anger still simmering brightly.

“well well well, if it isn’t our handsome ji. look who’s finally coming around!”

the boy in question rolls his eyes despite the little smile that plays at his lips, he’s glad to see that hoseok hyung’s mood has sweetened slightly— his expression matching the brightness of the L.A sun that highlights the blue of jimin’s hair, yet causes him to squint at the same time. he pulls his shades over his eyes, ignoring hoseok’s outstretched hand and going in for a quick, apologetic hug. the manager knows jimin isn’t one for displays of affection, but knows him well enough to recognise an apology from the younger when he sees one.

but jimin’s warmth retreats just as fast as it came, the younger pulling away as if hoseok’s new alexander wang suit has has scorched his tan skin. jimin seems to be grumbling as he slides into the van which seokjin drives and buckles himself in. the annoyance the blue haired boy felt from last night has yet to fade, but he knows he has to keep his anger in check— hoseok texted him early this morning about a meeting with the board... which usually never means anything good.

the car ride is mostly silent, the slight hum of the radio in the background as jimin rests in the back seat. there were few times he’d ever met the board, the first being after his accident, when hoseok had recruited him. the second being when he’d made it big, when the CEO had told him he’d made it big just like his parents would have wanted and the third, well...that would be now. seokjin pulls up to the tl the hangsang company building, quickly helping the dancer out before heading with into the building with hoseok by their side.

walking through the company building, jimin attracts a lot of attention— many have said that he exudes an intimidating, strong aura but the dancer only reckons it’s because of his name...after all, his family does come with a reputation. rookies and senior dancers alike blush and bow as jimin makes his way towards the head office, his slicked back blue hair shines under the false white light and reflects off of the black shades that match his jeans,  chelsea boots and turtle neck.  of course, the boy knows that he looks good, fingers coming up to fix the denim jacket he wears but his stride slows when passing his usual practice room— gaze faltering as he spots aeri tangled with a younger dancer, a rookie who jimin recognises as choi san. the familiar emotions from yesterday crawl up his spine and mix with the blackened jealousy that blooms across his firm chest— but jimin doesn’t have time to linger on his feelings as hoseok ushers the trio into an elevator and presses the button for the tenth floor. aeri looks away from the dancer just as the door closes.

“it’s not looking good for you jimin,” the CEO, explains— he goes by the name of mr.chan. jimin himself admits that he hasn’t been listening since the moment they entered the room but he picks up the tone of disappointment in the CEO’s voice.  shaking out his dark locks, jimin scoffs likely and rolls his shoulders— feeling annoyance build up behind his eyes... he’s got a headache now, which is only worsened by hoseok giving him a scolding glare.

“jimin don’t.”

he sits up at the second mention of his name, jimin knew not to test his manager at this time and also knew hoseok would give him the scolding of a life time if he didn’t listen. tilting his gaze to the CEO, jimin finally tunes into mr.chan, even if he doesn’t like what he’s saying. “you’re our prized dancer park, a household name...but you’ve had fewer performances then any other dancer this year, your recent bad reputation is...driving clientele away,” the old man lets out a wheezing cough, making jimin grimace. mr.chan was a greasy old man, with oily hair and beady eyes. he was harsh to the eyes, jimin supposed it was lucky that he was rich or mr.chan was doomed to be single for the rest of his life. “not to mention the bail we’ve been paying, you’re more of a burden than an asset at this point.”

“you’re fuckin’ kidding me right?” jimin rises from his seat like the anger that boils and bubbles through his veins, having enough of the ugly man that rattles on before him. all he can think about his punching the CEO square in the face. “you  fucking need me here. if im a burden to you, i’ll cut my loss and join another company that wants me. they all want me. i made this place what it is and i’ll tear it right back down. you need me.” the dancer seethes, pointing his finger right at the CEO’s face, mr.chan and his fellow associates swallow thickly, because after all— jimin is right. his raw talent alone is what built this company up from what it was, and anyone would kill for the money that he brings in however he may act.

the panel of staff mr.chan has with him, are rendered silent as is the CEO himself— who are they to challenge park jimin? but a lowly assistant speaks up, grabbing the attention of the congregation. “but raw talent will only last you so long...after that, what will you have? a pile of scandals?” she says meekly, as if no one would hear her— but the scowl on park jimin’s face tells her otherwise. usually, she’d have been fired on the spot for talking in such a manner— jimin might have even had a field day with making her run errands for him but mr.chan and his associates need an argument against the dancer’s case, promptly taking  the assistant’s statement and running with it.

the blue haired dancer sits back in his seat with defeat as the group of fat heads before him smile and cheer as if they’ve just discovered wine. although hoseok chooses this time to interject, sensing jimin’s temper tantrum reaching its peak once again. “but we have a solution, don’t we mr.chan?” the manager cuts through their wheezing laughter in a way that would make you think he was the boss around here. “remember what we discussed?”

the old man nods suddenly, almost in fear as he gestures to the assistant to pass a file to jimin. honeybrown eyes narrow as the girl makes her way over with a brown file full of documents— a sense of nervousness emitting from her. the dancer knows it’s partly because everyone is scared shitless of him and his reputation, the other part is that he’s damn well attractive up close. jimin bites down on his lower lip, looking the girl up and down before he snatches the file from her and opens it up — revelling in the way she blushes with embarrassment.

“we’ve proposed that you start dance therapy with a world renowned physical therapist, min yoongi,” hoseok explains slowly, knowing that anything mr.chan says from now will surely set the dancer off. the aforementioned male grips the arms of his seat, knuckles turning white as he tries his best to suppress another outburst and listen to his manager. “he’s excellent at what he does, the best of the best— he’d be sure to get you back on track...”

jimin scoffs, staring daggers into the spot between mr.chan’s unbearably bushy eyebrows. if looks could kill, he’d be dead within an instant. “so you want me to join a beginners class? do i need to remind you of who the fuck i am?”

“no, you’ll have private sessions,” his manger says lowly, grabbing the younger’s attention. “we want him to motivate you, we’re not denying that you’re a phenomenal dancer jimin, you’ve just been heading in the wrong direction for a few years...”

all this new information causes a feeling of unease to reside within park jimin, the changes that are to come don’t sit well with him... but with hoseok’s words from a few days ago swirling and twirling with his thoughts like a waltz, jimin can only agree to their proposition. “so, what’s the catch?” he whispers now.

“they’ve got another client in south korea ,  we’re thinking of bringing them over too—“

“well then do it!” jimin stands, raising his voice, the conversation is too tedious and all he wants it out. he needs a drink or a smoke or something other than people telling him what he was or what he isn’t. running a hand through his navy locks, the dancer grabs the file and begins to head out, not caring about what’s left to he said. but before he has a chance to storm out, hoseok slips a piece of paper into his hand and lets him go with a saddening smile.

“it’s the name of the client,” he whispers.

and so with that, jimin strides out of the office, the company building— not even bothering to greet seokjin properly as he jumps back into their black van. his bodyguard promptly drives him home, knowing better than to question the silenced dancer, who unfolds the paper to reveal a name.

‘LN YN’.

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