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darlingshane · 2 days ago

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Professor Castle III

Frank Castle x F!Reader

Summary: You wear Frank down until he lets you give him a BJ.

CW: 18+. Explicit, Smut, Undisclosed Age Gap (reader is 20+), Professor/Student relationship, BJ, crack, established relationship.

Word Count: 2.1k

— Links: First Part // Second Part // Frank Masterlist // AO3

When your eyes grow tired from staring at your laptop's screen, you peek above the edge of the monitor to get a glimpse of Frank. He's working on his desk, tucked in the corner of his living room by the window, while you lounge on his couch going over your assignment once more.

Frank doesn’t usually invite you home during week days, but today he’s made an exception. You don’t get to see each other as often now that the end of the final semester approaches, so he’s agreed to have you over a couple of nights a week out of your usual weekend visits. It’s nice to see him like this, even though you have to get up earlier to get to campus in the morning, it’s worth it. You’re not sure yet how much you’ll be able to see him during summer so you have to take any chance you can get to be with him for a little longer.

His sharp focus is on the stack of papers he's grading. There's nothing that can disrupt his concentration. Not even the loud noises from the construction site across the street bothers him. That kind of discipline must be something he took from his marine days, you’ve gathered. There’s only one thing that could make him lose that determination and that weapon is you. You’ve learned to wield it wisely, though he still tries to resist it sometimes.

Unlike him, you're easily distracted and find yourself half the time watching him instead of working on your paper. Your mind is quick to forget about anything that doesn't involve picturing Frank bending you over his desk and giving you a good pounding. Not even Mr. Clean could get rid of the filthiest thoughts that rouse when he rolls his sleeve, baring the tout veins of his forearms. This is probably the only downside of being near him, all you want to do is fuck, cause you barely get the chance anymore. But you're trying to control that impulse cause you want him to see that this relationship is more than fucking for you, which is it. That doesn't mean that you desire him less. Au contraire. Ever since you told each other I love you, it's made you want him even more. And the secrecy of it all makes it a hundred times hotter.

It’s a miracle you've made it past the two-hour mark without touching him when all you’ve been thinking about since you got here is jumping his bones since you got here.

You quickly go over your paper one last time and when your eyes finally refuse to go back to it, like a moth to a flame, you quietly bat your wings and stand up from the couch.

You try to pad quietly in his direction but one of the floorboards creaks, giving you away.

“Sh, don’t even think about it. Sit back down.” He warns without looking at you. “I told you I had a lot of work to do today.”

“What? I was just going to get a soda.” Changing the course of your steps to mask your intentions, you head to the kitchen to grab a drink from the fridge.

Well-aware of your tactics, Frank scoffs and briefly gazes at you as you take a long sip of your coke. He fixes his glasses on the bridge of his nose, and twirls the pen between his fingers before bringing his mind back to his task.

“I thought your TA was supposed to help you with those.” You lean on the arm of the couch.

“He’s sick.”

“C’mon. Take a break. It’s not like they’re due tomorrow, are they?”

“No, but I like having a head start. And it’s Tuesday, this is what I do on Tuesdays.”

He's a creature of habit, and you love that about him. But sometimes it's fun to mess with him and see if you can get him to lower his defenses enough to break his patterns. You usually get your way in the morning when his alarm goes off. You just wrap yourself around him and beg him to stay a few more minutes cuddling with you. Being the weakness of a man of his magnitude is something to be proud of.

“It's good to change your habits once in a while, you know?”

“You being here is already a pretty significant change in my habits, don't you think?”

“I guess it is.”

“So what's the problem, sweetheart?”

“Nothing. I just… I can't concentrate anymore.” You rub your thumb and index on your eyes. “I think I’m getting a tension headache.”

“Well, you should go see a doctor.”

You take another swallow of your drink and place the can down. Then, you bite your lip and go back to your initial plan. You get down to your knees and crawl the short distance to Frank's desk and place your head on his thigh, staring up at him.

“Please. I wanna play, Professor.” Your begging is only mildly annoying to him.

“You're being a fucking brat today, you know that?”

You can see his brow knitting behind the frame of his glasses, but you don’t back down.

“What are you gonna do about it?”

“I'm gonna let you sit there on your knees. See how long you can last once they start hurting.”

“So you do have a thing for punishment. Is that why they called you the punisher in the marines?”

“You don’t wanna find out.” His lips curve up ever so playfully into a grin.

Oh, but I do wanna find out.

Instead of saying that, you open your mouth and take a bite of his thigh over his pants.

“Jesus Christ, what's gotten into you today? Why are you so needy?” He almost jumps out of his chair when you clamp your teeth harder over the fabric.

“I'm needy cause I want you, Frank. Don't you want me back?” Your palm slides up his thigh, but Frank quickly catches it before it goes up too far up his groin.

“Of course I want you, sweetheart. More than anything in the world. But I gotta finish here first. Can you wait until I'm done?”

“You just want me to beg, don't you? Please? I'll do whatever you want. Would you let me?”

Your relentless pleads drag your lips farther up his leg. You're aware you're pushing his buttons more than you should, but there are times that you can't really help yourself, like now.

“Sweetheart…”

Frank huffs low, losing energy by the second to deny you. His chair finally swivels a few degrees so he’s facing. He puts his pen down and stares at you, letting you supplicate some more.

“Please. Let me be your DA.”

“You wanna be my TA?”

“No. I said D—A,” you accentuate the D. “As in your dick assistant.”

“You're out of your mind.” He laughs, shaking his head.

“I'm just crazy for you,” you sigh, pillowing your cheek on his thigh again.

“God, don't look at me like that. You know I can't say no to that face.”

“Please,” you repeat, batting your lashes. “Let me take care of you, Professor.”

“You're going to be the end of me,” Frank says, defeated by your perseverance.

“I know.”

“Have you finished your paper?”

“I have.”

He drags a hand down his chin, accepting that he cannot ever resist you or say no to you for that matter.

“Okay, go ahead, sweetheart.”

As he hangs his head back for a beat, you straighten up and sit on your haunches, sending both your hands to undo his belt and fly.

Frank takes off his glasses, puts them down on the desk, and rubs his fingers on his eyes as you palm his crotch over his underwear.

His focus is now solely on you and your adamant hand that takes only a few seconds to incite his erection. He extends his fingers to hold your chin as his head dips forward to press a handful of kisses on your lips while he grows harder in the curl of your fist.

“Relax, baby. I got you,” you purr as you peel back his boxers to take a good look at his beautiful cock in all its hard perfection.

Frank stares at you as his eyes grow a shade darker when you stick out your tongue and slowly draw a line from the base of his cock up his shaft. His hardness automatically flexes on your palm as you reach that swollen, pink helmet adorning his erection. The tip of your tongue swirls around the flare of his glans, wetting it with your spit. You gather some more saliva in your mouth and let a dollop drop between your lips to have some more lubrication. It mixes with the sudden drops of precum that come out of his slit.

Staring right back up at him, you take a firm grip at the base and wrap your lips around the tip. You give a little suction, smacking your lips against his skin, making him squirm in his chair. You draw a smile before bowing your head forward to take a mouthful of him. It doesn’t fully fit without you gagging so you mind your eagerness as you move your head back and forth. Your hand tightens at the base, giving him that sweet pressure that earns you a good grunt out of him.

“Fuck,” Frank's eyes flutter shut as you up the pace going up and down his shaft, sucking harder and faster around his now-raging erection, providing those obscene sounds of your vicious blowing. Growing hungry for more, you take him a little further inside until his tip touches the back of your throat.

You hum, moan and eagerly devour him, basking in his arousal that stirs your own. The bitter taste of him makes you wet all the same. You press your thighs together, feeling the dampness of your folds, as one of Frank’s hands lands at the back of your head. He doesn’t push your head down but only grips your hair, letting you take him near the edge at your own rhythm.

Wrapped around your lips, he loses the ability to breathe properly or talk in anything other than curse words. You can tell he's about to pop like a cork on a champagne bottle by the way he throbs on your tongue while his hips start thrusting against your mouth.

Sealing your lips tighter around the head, you grip a little harder on the base and pump with passion until he inevitably explodes, forcing his essence to coat the depths of your mouth. It’s hot and messy, but you swallow every drop of it.

“Goddamn, sweetheart,” he barely mumbles under his breath as you pull your head back and clean your lips.

His head lolls back as you carefully climb onto his lap, watching proudly the mess you’ve made of him.

Cupping his jaw in one palm, you pepper his cheek with kisses as he comes back to his senses under your sweet care. His breathing slowly evens out as your fingers slide over his neck and around his nape to comb his hair.

“How did I do, Professor?” You ask against his ear before lightly sucking his lobe.

Frank clears his throat, planting one hand on your thigh as his opposite arm curls around you.

“Hm.” His eyes tiredly open to look at you. “Think that was a solid B work.”

“What? Are you fucking with me?” You feign offense. “That was clearly an A+ work.”

“Tsk, it was kinda sloppy.”

“It's a blow job. It's supposed to be sloppy.”

You both break into laughter for a moment as Frank regains enough energy to hold your face.

“C'mere, baby.” Reveling in that afterglow, he pulls your head closer so he can capture your lips. His lips bounce gently a few times against yours before swiping a thumb across your bottom lip.

“See? I knew you needed a little break.”

“You always know what's best for me, sweetheart. I might take your offer and hire you as my new D—A.” He snorts, echoing your joke.

“Yeah? What would I get in return?”

“Anything that you want.”

Your forehead touches his as you say under a breath, “I just want you, Frank.”

He smiles softly, licking his lips and smoothing his hand on your denim-clad thigh before gently giving it a squeeze.

“I'm all yours,” he utters intensely before melding his lips with yours in a passionate kiss that fills you with warmth and love.

#frank castle x reader #frank castle #the punisher #the punisher fanfiction #frank castle fanfiction #jon bernthal #jon bernthal fanfiction #smut #darlingwrites #professor castle

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r4fe-cam3ron · 2 days ago

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CHRISTMAS STORY THREE | CINDY LOU WHO — s. harrington x reader ; e. munson x reader.

warnings; pining, unrequited love (actually) on two sides (you’ll see:D), angst, sad ending for reader (i apologize)

an; kind of nervous about this one, not gonna lie, BUT i thought it fit :p

You step into Eddie’s trailer, a small smile on your face when you hear a commotion going on from the kitchen. Shrugging off your jacket and hanging it, your hands smooth out your skirt before you make your way over.

Eddie’s big eyes find yours, an expression you can’t quite read, but you send him a smile. You hear your name from a girl — Louise, a pretty blonde who’s make-up or clothes seemed to never crease, hair always perfect and blown out, big, bright expressive eyes.

You understand why Steve had fallen in love so quickly with her.

She walks over and pulls you into a tight hug, your arms wrap around her and pat softly. She’s so nice. You’ve tried to hate her, for whatever reason, but you just can’t.

“Hi, Louise. You look pretty as always.”

She pulls away, scoffing and rolling her eyes. “Please. Look at you!”

The scent of familiar cologne makes your eyes glance over when Steve finally drapes his arm over your shoulder, a bright smile on his face. “Hey. How are you?”

You flush at the proximity, then quickly pat his back and pull away. You internally scold yourself. “I’ve been okay. Work has been great.” You lie.

He doesn’t notice, too wrapped up in Louise to even hear what you had said. You shift uncomfortably when he presses his lips to her ruby red ones, eyes finding Eddie’s.

“I’m gonna go talk to Eds.” You weakly point towards the boy used as your excuse, beginning to head that way before a calloused hand grabs yours.

“Wait! Did Louise tell you the news?”

You’re too scared to ask but he’s staring at you with the expression he had when he first met you. It tugs at your heart and you shake your head slightly. “What-what news?” Your eyes drift over to Louise who looks up at Steve, sharing a grin and a nod before looking at you.

She holds up her hand, wiggling her fingers.

You’re going to puke.

“We’re engaged!” Steve smiles. You stare at the ring on her finger, lips parting. You're silent, blinking owlishly at the jewel - his grandmother's ring he was saving.

You make a soft noise, brows pinching together as you push yourself to hold it together when you notice the excited look on Steve’s face slightly faltering when you say nothing.

“Well?” You’re his best friend. You’ve grown up with one another, watching each other fall in and out of ‘love’, seen one another in the awkward puberty stage that you still tease Steve about with every chance you get. He wants your blessing.

That’s one thing you cannot give him for selfish reasons only. You want to blurt out ‘I love you, you idiot!’ and see what he says.

Eddie intervenes before you have the chance. His hand wraps softly around your bicep. “Hey, can I show you something real quick?” You look over at him and he smiles. It’s from pity.

“Yeah. Yeah,” You nod. Steve’s eyes darted between the two of you, confused as to why you answered Eddie, yet said nothing to him. “Sorry.” You mutter to Louise and Steve, following Eddie to his room.

He steps aside and allows you to step into his room first before stepping in behind you and shutting the door softly. Your eyes look around his room. You notice a small tree on his desk with lights wrapped around the stems.

“Cute.” You point towards the small thing.

Eddie’s eyes glance over to his desk before looking back at you. He frowns when he hears the first sob break loose. He quickly walks over towards you, turning you towards him and wrapping his arms around your shoulders while one hand rests on the back of your head.

“I know.” He whispers, nodding. Your eyes squeeze shut as your forehead presses into his chest, shoulders shaking in his hold. He stares at the small tree, allowing you to cry in his arms. His fingers thread into your hair, scratching at your scalp softly.

Reducing down to sniffles and small intakes of breath, you slowly pull away. Eddie’s hands lift and wipe at your tears, the frown on his face deepening when your hand wraps around his wrist.

“I love him so much, Eds.” Your face crumbles slightly once again but you stop yourself from crying again by pressing your lips on his palm.

Eddie stares at you quietly before nodding. “It’s hard loving someone from afar,” His eyes glance down at your lips and where they press to his palm. “Especially when they love someone else.”

You nod slightly, eyes closing. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for you to—”

“Don’t apologize,” He shakes his head quickly. “It’s okay. I would…” He trails off when your eyes open and glance over at him. He would allow you to drag him away from anything, is what he wants to say. “I’m always here for you. You know that.”

You smile softly and nod a bit. “Yeah. I know,” You step closer and wrap your arms around his shoulders. His own arms wrap around your sides quickly, squeezing his own eyes shut when he feels a slight sting, a hand sliding up and resting on the middle of your back. “You okay?”

The hug felt different. You couldn’t place exactly what it was. Just that it was.

He nods and pulls away from you once again, taking a tiny step back. “I’m okay.”

You stare at him. You know he’s lying - he scratches at his jaw after. You don’t want to push him until he’s ready to talk about it, so you nod. “Okay,” You smile softly. “I’m going…I’m gonna go ahead and head home though. I hate to just—”

“I understand. But could you just— hold on, wait there,” He holds out his finger. He turns and opens the door jogging down the hallway. Smiling a bit you make your way towards the bed and place yourself down.

You look around his room once again, eyes landing on his notebook tossed at the end of his bed. Your teeth sink into your bottom lip, looking over your shoulder before slowly dragging it towards you. You open the red cover, smiling when you notice the little doodles he had made on the inside.

You flip through the journal filled with drawings, DnD snippets, some ripped from the spiral, you even see a number for a chinese restaurant and pizza place.

Laughing quietly to yourself, you flip to the last page, your laugh stopping suddenly when you see a drawing.

It's you. Eddie had a drawing of you in his journal.

“Sorry, Dustin had me check something before I could grab your gift,” You flinch and quickly shut the journal as you push it back. Luckily, he doesn’t notice as he closes the door. He walks over with his same, cheeky grin that never fails to make you smile back. He sits next to you, passing you a small box.

“What’s this?” You take it from his hands, fingers brushing his. The wrapping of the gift paper could make you laugh softly at his messy attempt, but you hold it back and look over at him.

“Nothing…too big. But you can’t tell anyone else I got you something.”

“Why not?”

He smiles a bit, shrugging. “You’re the only person I got something for.”

You push your bottom lip pit slightly before looking back at the wrapping paper. You begin to unwrap it, revealing a red box. You put the paper on your lap, opening the box.

You gasp softly, staring at the necklace inside. “Eddie…” You whisper. Your fingers run over the silver chain before the red jewel in the middle. It was simple, but the thought behind the gift was what made it bigger than what it seemed. “This is so beautiful,” You look over at him.

“Thank you,” You reach over, pulling him into another hug. Your eyes linger on the journal that had fallen down on the floor when he had plopped down beside you. “I love it.”

“I’m glad.” He smiles and pulls away. You stand then and pull it from the box, walking towards the mirror and clasping it around your neck — well, trying to. You’re nervous now from the way Eddie is staring at you.

He stands from the bed and walks towards you, swatting your hands away. “Here.” He pushes your hair over your shoulder first, fingertips grazing over the back of your neck and your shoulder as he clasps the necklace.

He nods and peeks over at you in the mirror, watching as the tips of your fingers brush over the jewel once again, a smile pulling at your lips.

“Thank you, Eds,” You say again. He nods and steps back from you once again, looking away. “I’ll call you later, okay? I’m sorry again for just…” You watch as he stuffs his hands into his pocket. “Tomorrow you could come and hang out at my house. We could order some take out, watch a Christmas movie.”

Eddie looks at you. “Oh. Uhm, yeah. I’d love that.”

You smile and nod, turning away and walking out of his room without looking back. You feel like you’re about to suffocate. You needed to leave.

You grab your jacket and walk out into the bitter cold before you even slip it on, nose and cheeks immediately going pink from the wind.

You make your way towards your car, pulling out your keys from your pocket. “You aren’t even gonna say bye?” You stop and glance over to your side to see Steve standing a good ways away but close enough it has your heart rate speeding up slightly.

“Sorry. I’m not feeling too well.”

He frowns and steps closer, tilting his head. “What’s wrong? Did something happen?” His hand gently holds your elbow as he looks over you with concern. You look away.

“Please stop doing that.”

His brows pinch together with confusion. “Doing…what?”

“Confusing me, Steve,” You look at him. “You’re the most infuriating person i’ve ever known but I still—” You cut yourself off before you finish the though, lips pulling into a thin line.

He stares at you, confusion still written all over his pretty features. He’s confused about what you’re confused about. You pull your elbow away from his gentle hold. “I’ll see you later, Steve,” He watches as you open your door, slipping inside. “Tis the season.” You wave, slamming your door shut.

He steps back when your car starts up, the headlights flickering on and you quickly pull out of the trailer park. He stands there in the blistering cold, staring as your car finally makes a turn and disappears from his view.

He blinks a couple of times, shaking his head and turning slowly. His eyes lift and he sees Eddie looking at him through the window. His curly strands bounce slightly when he shakes his head, pushing himself away from the window.

Steve looks back at the empty spot where your car once was. “Hey, honey,” He jumps slightly when he hears Louise’s voice. Her soft laugh making him turn to stare at her. “You okay?”

“Yeah, sorry,” He stares at her for a moment longer before smiling a bit. “Yeah. I’m okay.”

“Alright. We’re starting the movie.” Her hand outstretched for him to take, wiggling her fingers. He slips his hand in hers, following behind without so much as a look back at the tire tracks you’d left.

| tags — @oceanblvd111 ; @ali-r3n

| please do not copy my work! comments, feedbacks, reblogs, & requests are welcomed and greatly appreciated! ❅

| border — @/silkholland

#joe keery x fem!reader #joe keery x reader #steve harrington x fem!reader #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you

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formosusiniquis · 3 days ago

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The thing is that Leverage Consulting & Associates is, on paper, a legitimate company. Or it was a legitimate company at one point. It was founded by Harlan Leverage III, that’s how Hardison set it up and we know that he’s good at setting up the paperwork to make something look legit.

So with that in mind, I propose the following.

Parker is getting better at the people thing, the strange people thing. She’s good with the boys, they’re her boys. They get her and she gets them, usually. There isn’t the thing that Sophie is always talking about, conventions. Expectations that she has to know how to meet. It’s easier with a con, there’s a goal she just has to figure out the right things to say to reach the right end. It’s like a dialogue tree in one of Hardison’s games.

Meeting with clients is harder. Having to work out what they think they want and what they really want. It’s a mess of implications and vaguely stated desires. She doesn’t know why everyone can’t just say what they’re really thinning. She tries to have Hardison or Eliot there with her, to translate the innuendo that she knows she misses or correct her misinterpreting of a facial tic. But Eliot is running recon on the mark that they’re about to take and Hardison is working on one of his projects to help fix the world.

So it’s just her in the brew pub looking for Steve, a middle school teacher for the hard of hearing whose school is getting shut down. She finds him at the bar, the hair is, as Eliot would say, distinctive.

“Mr. Harrington,” he startles when she taps on his shoulder. Maybe Eliot is right and she’s not making enough noise when she walks.

“Yes, hello, hi.” Nervous, he’s nervous, that much she understands what to do with.

“Hello, I’m Parker, we-”

“Parker?” A question she thinks, it ticks up at the end like one. But he hasn’t actually asked anything.

“Leverage. You contacted us about your school.”

“Oh,” he brightens, maybe he thought she was confused or a stranger. “I didn’t know it was a family business.”

This was another thing she didn’t get, the weird connections people made. How the thing that she said turned into what he said. That confusion must be plain.

“I did some research, tried anyway, my sister-in-law is pretty handy with the computer stuff.”

They’ve run a lot of cons, sometimes pictures do pop up of them in the middle of a grift, Hardison’s crawlers are good but the internet is changing, apparently. It makes sense, in a way, that he might have seen a picture of her with the boys.

Eliot and Alec are her family. Nate and Sophie too.

“We are. A family business. Does that matter?”

He smiles, a real one, she knows what that means. “No! I think that’s fantastic. Family is important to me.”

“Great. Now, Mr. Harrington, what can you tell me about what is going on with your school.”

The con keeps them busy for several days, but at the end she’s excited to see Mr. Harrington again to tell him the good news. She likes this part, maybe more than the gloat. It’s like the opposite of money, the ephemeral way the joy and the gratitude on their faces can’t be hoarded.

“Thank you, Ms. Leverage, you can’t imagine how much this will mean to the students. It’s amazing that the business has stayed in the family since the 1900’s.”

It’s such a strange thing to say that she isn’t sure how to answer. So she defaults, “We’re just glad we could help.”

He leaves not much later, joining up with a man that she knows from the background check is his husband.

Alec and Eliot slip behind her once he’s gone. A quiet and subtle presence, until Alec can’t help but break the silence. “Parker Leverage. It has a nice ring.”

And it isn’t hard to admit, “It does, doesn’t it?”

#parker leverage #that's the joke #do you get it #leverage #leverage ot3 #technically though maybe not obviously #its always ot3 #anyway I thought about that first name show name tagging convention #and I remembered that old nate had a name and here we are #this is probably the closest I will ever come to writing leverage fic #like legit leverage fic anyway

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atleastpleasetelephone · 10 hours ago

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Little Darling

Chapter 10 - With my toes dipped in the sand

It's 1997, and Elvis is still alive and well. He quit music in 1972 after a successful world tour, and now he runs Presley Studios - teaching people karate across America. His daughter and grandchildren are regular visitors at Graceland, and when he’s in Memphis he likes to do a little teaching. His life is quieter now, though. Most of the Mafia have gone - going to live their own lives - and after his divorce from his second wife, Elvis is sworn off women for good. Will a Welsh girl with a wicked sense of humour be the one to make him break his promise to himself not to fall in love again?

Need to catch up? Go here.

Pairing: Old Man!Elvis x OC - Tegan, a Welsh girl he meets at karate.

Word count: 4.5K

TWs: Erectile dysfunction, drug use, slight mention of addiction, mention of spanking, discussion of parenthood/children, ass play, masturbation, discussion of anal.

Once Tegan has fully recovered, she and Elvis live out of Graceland for a while. She gets used to driving out of the mansion gates every morning, and the handful of fans she sees there regularly are on first name terms with her after a few weeks. Living together is surprisingly easy, though Tegan refuses to give up her apartment, however many different ways Elvis thinks of to ask. It’s not just that she wants it as a safety net, she genuinely loves living in it, and tries to persuade Elvis that they could hop between the two instead of always living in the mansion. He’s not sure. It was the last house his Mama lived in, after all, and part of him feels guilty wanting to live anywhere else in Memphis, even if he does really like the apartment too.

They’re sitting together in bed one morning, Tegan between Elvis’ legs, when he remembers he wants to ask her something.

“Queenie?”

“Hmmm?”

“Ya wanna go on vacation soon?” His hand trails up and down from the top of her sternum to her belly.

The back of her head is against his chest, and she looks up at him curiously. “With you? I’d love to. Where are we going?”

“Wherever ya want, honey.”

“Oooh.”

“But, uh… probably not just us.”

Tegan tries to hide her disappointment as he tells her about the million and one people he wants to invite and promises to pay for. She knows Maria will be thrilled, and the kids too, but she was hoping for some kind of romantic getaway, rather than a family holiday with people who were not, in fact, her family. She tells him she’s going to shower and he makes noises about breakfast.

“You decide, though, Queenie. Wherever ya wanna go. Nice beach somewhere.”

The shower clears her head, and she decides that going on holiday with everyone probably isn’t as bad as she thinks. The more people, the bigger the likelihood of someone wanting to go with her to do things. She’s starting to think that Elvis has become a very beach holiday person in his old age, and she can’t think of anything worse than just lying around getting sunburnt. She pulls on jeans and a jumper and wanders downstairs, finding Elvis in the kitchen, reading the paper as he eats his rubbery eggs.

“Good shower?” He asks, reading glasses perched on the end of his nose.

“Yes, thanks.”

She puts an arm around his shoulders and looks down at the paper. His palm slides onto the inside of her thigh, possessively.

“Look at this.” He points to an article in the paper and she reads it over his shoulder. “Think I should ask Dr Dawson about it?”

The article is about Sildenafil, a drug recently approved for use by the FDA. As Tegan reads further, she realises it’s for erectile dysfunction. She’s not sure she’d ever really thought about Elvis’ dick as being dysfunctional before, but she does always feel like they have to make the most of it whenever it is functioning as it should. Interesting.

“You might as well see what he thinks about it.”

He doesn’t really want to talk to the doctor about his penis, but he knows this is something that could really help him. He feels a bit like his life is controlled by the whims of Little Elvis, and he’d really prefer to be in control of it himself. He calls Dr Dawson after breakfast, and the doctor promises to be round in a couple of hours. Elvis doesn’t like seeing medical professionals at all, nowadays. He feels like he had such a close brush with death in the early 70s that he tries to keep away from temptation now. After the world tour he’d fired Dr Nick and specifically looked for someone who dealt with addiction to sort out his problems. It has been tough, but looking at Tegan now, as she fusses around the kitchen trying to tidy up, he thinks that it has definitely been worth it.

“He’s comin’ up the drive,” He says, to no-one in particular, as he sits staring at the CCTV.

“You want me to talk to him with you?” Tegan strokes his hair as he wraps an arm around her.

“Oh, yes please, honey.” This whole thing is embarrassing, but her being there will at least be a hand to hold.

They settle into the study with the doctor and Elvis shows him the newspaper article.

“I uh… I-I-I-I thought maybe they uh… m-might… help me s-some…” he stutters. Tegan reaches for his hand and squeezes it.

“Well you’re not the first person to ask me about this today, and you sure won’t be the last!” Dr Dawson jokes. Elvis smiles, thinly. “Can you describe your symptoms?”

Elvis starts to blush and Tegan can see the start of a full on stammer coming, so she cuts in.

“Well he just can’t necessarily get it up every time. It’s better in the morning, I think that’s quite common, um, but it’s kind of unreliable in the evening. And I’m… well I’m nearly 40 but I’ve always struggled getting relaxed enough for intercourse, I need a lot of foreplay, so we do struggle sometimes. It’s frustrating for both of us. We um, I mean we have a good sex life but I think anything to improve it a little is worth a try, you know?”

Elvis squeezes her hand tightly and she looks over at him as he mouths “thank you”.

“Well that sounds just like what this drug has been made for. I’m happy to prescribe it for you, if you agree your wife’s description of it is accurate?”

Tegan’s eyes go wide at his mistake but she doesn’t say anything. Elvis smirks.

“Oh yeah, I agree with everything my wife just said.”

“Great. Lucky for you I have a bottle on me, but here’s a prescription for more. It lowers your blood pressure, so make sure you take it easy. Don’t be popping more than one of these a night.”

He hands over the bottle, and Elvis immediately passes it to Tegan. “You can look after that f’me, honey.”

She smiles and nods and they get up to shake hands with the doctor and show him out. As soon as he’s gone Elvis turns to her and bursts out laughing.

“Yer face when he called ya my wife!”

“You didn’t correct him!”

“Didn’t want ta. A man can dream, can’t he?”

She shakes her head and smirks a little herself. “Well, looks like we’re going to have a fun holiday.” She holds up the bottle of pills and shakes it.

“Not just the vacation, Queenie. The fun starts now.”

Still shaking her head, she holds the bottle behind her back. “Uh-uh. You gave it to me to look after. I’m keeping it hidden until we go on holiday.”

“What?!” Elvis’ eyes are wide. He had been thinking of throwing her over his shoulder and carrying her up the stairs immediately.

“I’m keeping the spark alive! Ahhhh! Elvis!!”

She starts to run but he catches up with her quickly, grabbing her around the waist and trying to get the pill bottle off her. She squeals as they play-fight, both ending up on the carpet in the living room, scrabbling about. She throws the bottle as far away as she can manage and then tries to get up and run after it. He grabs her ankle and brings her tumbling back to the floor.

“I don’t think so.”

“Ow! Elvis!”

“Ya should practise karate more at home, ya know,” he tells her as he rolls away from her, getting up himself and running after the bottle. He scoops it up and turns around, just in time for her to attempt a wrist lock on him to get him to drop it again. Now it’s his turn to cry out in pain. “Ow!”

She stops, worried she’s actually hurt him and his expression immediately changes to a wicked grin.

“Tricked ya.”

She’s just realising what’s happened when he picks her up and throws her over his shoulder, grabbing hold of her thighs tightly.

“Spanking time fer naughty girls.”

“Elvis!”

He chuckles, striding up the stairs with her over one shoulder, kicking and struggling but getting nowhere. He throws her on the bed and then looks at the label of the pill bottle.

“Ah. Half an hour to kick in. Good amount of time ta spank ya for, I reckon.”

***

The group flies to Cancun for Thanksgiving break on Elvis’ private jet, and Tegan has to admit that she could get used to this kind of lifestyle. There’s no real rules on the jet, although she does remain sensibly in her seat and wearing her seatbelt for the majority of the flight anyway. There’s also champagne on the jet, and plenty of tasty food. Maria’s kids make the most of the lack of rules, tearing up and down the plane, playing all manner of games. Elvis joins in with them for a bit, but then he gets worn out and sits back down next to his girlfriend. He watches as Gina comes barrelling over and jumps on her lap. She looks shocked as always, and very carefully picks the little girl up and places her back on the floor again, explaining as patiently as she can muster that she’s not a climbing frame. He chuckles, taking her hand in his.

“She’s a little firecracker, ain’t she?”

Tegan huffs out a sigh. “Yeah. I swear she came out of the womb like this and she hasn’t taken a breath since.”

“She might even be too much fer me,” he observes with a wry smile.

Tegan looks over at him, surprised. “Didn’t think any kids were too much for you.”

“Psssh. I’m old, Queenie. My knees ain’t what they used ta be. Ben, over there, is more my speed nowadays.” He nods towards the little boy, who is colouring in carefully, as usual.

“You’re just saying that because he’s the only kid who gives me the time of day.”

Elvis shakes his head. “Nah. I’m sayin’ it because it’s true.”

They sit in silence for a while, Tegan trying to weigh up what she ought to say to him, since he’d brought up the topic of children. She still doesn’t know.

“Ya never wanted any?” He asks, stroking the back of her hand with his thumb.

“No.” She decides to go all in. “I’m not the maternal type. Never felt the urge. I find them… difficult to relate to.”

She doesn’t dare look at him now that she’s basically told him she doesn’t like kids, in what seems quite a bit like a jet plane full of kids.

“I uh… I always thought I’d have more, ya know. Only ended up with one.”

She nibbles on her lower lip and nods, still looking away. His thumb carries on rubbing circles on the back of her hand.

“Thought I’d make a good dad. Not sure I did. Ya’d have ta ask Lisa I suppose.” He pauses for a while, and she wonders if she should contradict him. Then he continues, “don’t think either of us were ready. Me or Cilla. Not sure she had a maternal bone in her body, but she had a kid anyway.” Another pause. “Y’know, Stella wanted kids. An’ I was always too busy with one thing or another. Another reason she left me. She was pregnant almost straight away, after she’d gone.”

Tegan finds herself squeezing his hand and cautiously looking into his face. “Thought you’d think less of me, you know. Because I’m not… maternal.”

He shakes his head. “Confused me at first, when Maria told me. But then I thought about it an’ I guess I realised we’re not that different. I mean I coulda had a whole army of ‘em, but I didn’t. Coz I didn’t think I’d give ‘em the life they deserved.” He looks over at Lisa, wistfully, as she helps Riley with her cross-stitch. “Never had time fer her, when she was little. Said that’s why I stopped with the music, ta make time fer her. But I just filled it with somethin’ else.”

He sighs deeply. Tegan raises his hand to her lips and kisses the back of it.

“I’m sure everyone thinks they could’ve done a better job at being a parent. But look at her now. She’s grown into a wonderful, capable woman with a career and two great kids of her own. And she loves you, you know she does.”

Elvis turns his head and presses a kiss to Tegan’s temple. “Thanks, Queenie. That means a lot.”

“Any time, ‘raur. It’s not hard to say when it’s the truth.”

***

They arrive at the resort and once they’ve unpacked a little the men gather around the barbeque and try to cook fish that Maria picked up at the market. Elvis pulls a face about the smell, but accepts little mouthfuls of Tegan’s when she feeds them to him from her plate.

“You should try a prawn, ‘raur. Not fishy at all.”

She gets up and rescues one from the barbeque, moving it back and forth in her fingers as she tries to peel it. It’s still pretty hot, but once she gets the shell off she takes a bite.

“Mmmm. Delicious. You want?”

Elvis has already taken a pill, and the sight of Tegan with butter running down her chin brings Little Elvis to attention immediately. He shuffles about, rearranging himself to make his erection less obvious, and then leans forward with his mouth open. Tegan giggles as she puts the rest of the prawn in his mouth. She’d noticed the little movement and knows exactly what it means. He won’t last long at this table.

“Hmmm that’s okay, actually,” he concedes, then winks at her.

She wipes her chin and giggles. “You want another?”

“Only if you do.”

They’re both giggling now, and she repeats the process with another prawn, eating it even more messily and making Elvis groan audibly.

“Okay, this has been fun,” he announces, once he’s eaten the other half. “But Queenie and I have a bed to test out.”

Tegan puts her hand over her mouth in embarrassment. The kids are all still awake and they immediately start asking things about the bed and why it needs testing.

“Elvis!” She elbows him in the side as they walk off together, the rest of the adults laughing and wishing them luck.

“Ya shouldn’ta eaten that prawn like that, baby. It was like a porno.”

She almost cries with laughter as she holds onto his arm, both of them stepping back into the condo. “It was not! It was me, eating a prawn, normally! You’ve got problems, Presley.”

He turns her to face him, running his thumb over her chin and grinning back. “I’ve got one problem, Queenie. An’ it’s that I need ya now. I can’t wait.”

He leans down and kisses her, his tongue exploring her mouth eagerly.

“You’ve got no patience, nowadays,” she tells him as she leads him into their bedroom for the week. “No patience at all.”

They’d used the pills a few times since he’d been prescribed them, and it had really taken the pressure off. Elvis no longer had to worry if his erection could make it through a change in position because it always did. He’d had a lot of fun throwing her around and trying new things, with the help of a bottle of lube that she’d bought in Memphis’ only sex shop. But he’s by no means finished the list of things he wants to try, and he’s glad he’s got all this time on vacation now.

Once they’re both naked he lies on top of her, still relishing the fact that she likes it, and kisses her neck.

“Queenie…” he murmurs into her ear.

“Mmm. Yes, baby.”

“Y’know that time ya were sick and ya… well we… y’know…”

She giggles at his shyness. “I think I know, but use your words, ‘raur.”

He groans. “Okay, okay. I didn’t want yer finger, but uh…y-ya could… would ya wanna lick it? I mean… ya don’t have ta, if ya don’t wanna it’s fine but…” he trails off, aware he’s just making noises at this point.

Tegan bites her lip, hard, to stop herself from giggling. She breathes out very slowly through her nose and prays for some kind of composure.

“You want me to eat your ass?”

“Oh-oh-oh-nly if ya want to.” When she doesn’t reply straight away, he carries on. “I-I mean it’s fine if ya don’t, I don’t expect ya ta, I… I know I’m an old man with a hairy ass and I wouldn’t want ta stick my tongue there…”

Tegan can’t suppress her little giggle at the description.

“Ya don’t want ta. I knew it. I shouldna asked. I’m sorry honey, my horny brain jus’ gets these ideas an’...”

She moves her head so she can look at him, putting a hand on either side of his face. “I would love to eat your ass.”

“Y-you would?”

She giggles again, a little shyly. “I wanna make you feel good.”

“Well I think ya would, honey.”

“Girls have done it to you before, haven’t they?”

It’s his turn to smirk a little now. “Yeah. Once or twice.”

“Well I might not be any good at it.”

He raises an eyebrow. “Practice makes perfect.”

They both giggle again, foreheads pressed against one another, in that conspiratorial way they’d developed over the weeks and months they’d been together.

“I need ta shower.”

“I’ll come with you.”

He gives her a slightly funny look. “Honey, I need to wash down there.”

“So?”

“Okay, fine. But ya have ta close yer eyes fer that bit.”

Tegan rolls her eyes a little in disbelief but assures him that she will. They get in the shower together and she giggles at his raging erection. Once he’d taken a pill, if it was up there was no way it was coming down until he’d cum (and sometimes not even then), and she finds it very amusing. He insists that she closes her eyes and puts her hands over them whilst he washes his ass, which she finds even funnier. Eventually she’s allowed to look again and they get out of the shower and dry off.

“You’ve gotta stop giggling, little girl,” he chides as they get back on the bed again.

“But you’re so cute and funny.”

Elvis tries hard to put on a serious face but only manages for a few seconds before laughing again. He'd laughed and joked around with all of his girlfriends, but he can’t remember laughing so much with anyone before Tegan. Especially not in bed. He always took sex very seriously, which meant being proud of himself when he made a woman come for the first time, but also beating himself up when he couldn’t perform the way he wanted to. She somehow manages to make it silly and sexy at the same time.

“How do you want to do this, then?” She asks.

“A bit pissed,” he answers, and they’re back to laughing again.

Tegan gets up and pulls on a robe so she can walk to the kitchen and grab a bottle of champagne from the fridge. They sit and drink and talk a little about who they think will fall out with who first on the vacation. Elvis’ money is on Lisa-Marie arguing with Sonny, but Tegan thinks that Maria and her husband won’t last a day with the kids without fighting. Once they’re about three quarters of the way through the bottle, Tegan puts her empty glass down.

“C’mon then. Which way round do you want me?”

Even a little drunk and a lot horny, Elvis struggles to answer such a direct question. “Can I uh…” he stops and swallows down the rest of his champagne in one big gulp. “Can I sit on yer face?”

She nods and gives him a quick kiss, before settling down on her back. He gulps. He sort of had expected her to say no.

“C’mon then,” she encourages again, holding her arms out.

He carefully arranges himself with a knee on either side of her shoulders, then kind of hovers, uncertainly. She grabs his hips and pulls him down so she’s actually sitting on his haunches.

“That okay?” He asks.

Her hands move to his ass and she squeezes it a little before pulling the cheeks apart and licking between them. He makes a little moaning noise and she smiles.

“Shuffle back a bit, if you stay that far away it’s going to hurt my neck after a while.”

He does as she suggests and she hums approvingly, starting to lick again. He groans, his hand sliding up and down his dick as he looks at her body stretched out in front of him. He likes looking at her tattoos, and her piercings. And of course he likes looking at her breasts. And her pussy. Well, shit, he likes her body generally. Sitting like this is giving him a great view and her tongue being where it is is like the icing on the cake.

Tegan keeps licking for a while, wide, long movements and then little kitten licks. Then she makes her tongue into a point and pulls him down onto her face a little more, pressing it against his entrance.

“Mmmmm.”

She tries a few times but she can’t get more than the very end in, so she pulls back.

“Baby?”

“Hmmm.” The feeling of her tongue is making Elvis sweat and he doesn’t know how to respond.

“You’re tensing up,” she tells him, running her thumb between his ass cheeks now.

“Mmmm.” He still can’t speak, now she’s rubbing him there and he’s starting to feel a little insane.

“If you imagine you’re pushing a little, that might help.”

Tegan hears Elvis panting, but he still doesn’t say anything. She mentally shrugs and moves her head back into position, pulling him down on her mouth again. Her hands massage his ass as she tries again with her tongue. This time she presses in a little further, and he moans loudly, moving his hand faster on his dick as he feels his orgasm building.

He’s never let a woman do this before. He was always kind of strict with the girls he had let near his asshole. The idea of something going in, whether it was a finger or a tongue, just seemed sort of violating. Like something that shouldn’t happen to him. But Tegan’s little tongue… he moans again as she flicks it in and out, and he finds himself matching her rhythm with his hand. He thinks again about the way she is with him, how much she makes him laugh and how reassuring she is. Her patience, how she never once got frustrated or upset with him when he couldn’t give her what he promised, in bed. How she ate whatever he tried to cook her, never once pointed out that his attempts at cleaning the kitchen floor left it dirtier than it was to begin with and always looked so delighted to see him after a long day at work. He suddenly realises, with his release heavy in his balls and a pretty girl’s tongue halfway up his ass, that he loves her.

“Shit,” he mutters, as his orgasm peaks and cum starts to shoot out of his dick and all over her body. “Tegan…I love you.”

She pulls her tongue back into her mouth and kisses him there instead, until he shakily gets off her and lies down on the bed. She leans over and tries to kiss his lips, but his hand stops her.

“I know where yer mouth’s been.”

Grabbing his hand and pulling it out of the way, she climbs on top of him and pins his blissed out body to the bed. “Yeah. Your arsehole. My mouth. So the least you can do is give me a kiss for it.”

Drunk on champagne and his orgasm, Elvis gives in, letting her kiss him passionately. She pulls back and then presses a little kiss to the end of his nose.

“I love you too, by the way. Couldn’t reply at the time as my tongue was otherwise occupied.” She chuckles. “That’s one to tell the grandkids.”

Elvis laughs, putting on a high-pitched voice. “Hey grandad, when did you tell grandma you loved her for the first time?” His voice changes to an exaggerated version of his own deep southern drawl. “When she had her tongue up my ass, son.”

They fall about laughing again, trading lines back and forth about it, Elvis howling with laughter at her impressions of him. When they recover, he looks at her seriously for a moment.

“This old man woves you so much, Tegan bach.” He holds her face in his hands and stares at her, lovingly.

“She woves him too,” she replies. She really does. Has done for a long time now, but for some reason it didn’t seem important to say it. She felt like he already knew. “You want the end of the champagne?”

He nods and she gets up, pouring the remains of the bottle into two glasses.

“Hey, how d’ya know to tell me to do that thing… so ya could get yer tongue in?”

She smirks. “I’ve um… done anal before.”

His eyes go wide for a moment and he takes a sip of his drink. “Ya like it?”

She nods. “What about you?”

“I’ve never let anyone fuck me in the ass,” he replies, completely deadpan.

She pushes him in the chest and he starts to laugh. “Okay, okay. Yeah I did it with a girl once. Good Christian girl, no sex before marriage ya know? Kept that pussy pristine, good as new. But her asshole musta seen some things.”

Tegan shrieks, her hand over her mouth, nearly falling onto the mattress she’s laughing so hard.

“You can’t tell me you want me to eat your ass, but you can say that?”

He shrugs. “Tellin’ stories about other people is easier. Tellin’ ya what I want… I don’t want ya ta think I’m some kinda weirdo.”

She reaches up to stroke his cheek. “I definitely think you’re some kind of weirdo. My kind of weirdo.”

He smiles then, a beautiful radiant smile that lights up his whole face.

“Don’t ever feel like you can’t ask me for whatever you want. I’d never make you feel bad about it.”

He kisses her again, softly, on the lips. “I will hold ya ta that, Tegan bach. I’ll hold ya to it.”

***

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junedenim · 1 day ago

Text

2012

beneath the boardwalk, part 10 (series masterlist)

why'd you only call me when you're high?

warnings: a whole lot of angst, temptation, nostalgia, and nothing

word count: 10.4k

Squished between two couch cushions watching Real Housewives, I got a call from Alex. "Did I wake you?" He questioned. It was late or early depending on who you asked. I had been woken up from a cold I was suffering from. He had never gone to bed.

"No, no, I'm just sitting around, suffocating," I complained. His voice was rough, but not thick with phlegm like mine. He chuckled in a rhythmic format, beat after beat. He sounded like he was sinking into himself, his flesh turning to goo. I heard his lips smack together as if he was chewing on a piece of hay. I coughed, the harshness reaching him miles and miles away. "You alright?"

"Yeah." I think he was chewing gum. "Just got home."

I hummed with understanding. "Did you have a nice night?"

He made a noise of indifference. "How long you been sick?"

"Two days now and it's not getting any better." I sniffled and stuffed a tissue up my nostril, thankful that I lived alone. "Think I caught it at a New Year's Party. I'm worried I have mono."

"Why? You've been kissing a bunch of people?" His words hung in the middle of us. Both of us moving on from one another had been unspoken. We were still on a break for all intents and purposes, even if he was with Arielle. Another thing we never talked about.

I gave the best laugh I could do without coughing. "It's supposed to be good luck. I also ate 12 grapes and banged bread against the wall."

"Did you really?" He amusingly asked.

"No, well, not the bread part." I sighed. "Now, I'm just sitting on the couch watching shitty reruns. I can't fall back asleep."

"Neither can I," he said.

I hesitated and curled up under my blanket. "Is that why you called me at 4 in the morning?" I said it with a laugh to ease any tensions that may arise.

"It's only 1 here."

"Right. I forgot about the time difference." It didn't seem right for him to be so far away permanently. None of this seemed like the correct order of things. It was a misalignment but there could be no corrective measure.

"Yeah, I kind of did too." There was a pause like he was thinking things over. Like he might have had something to say but now he couldn't find it. "I'll let you go then." In more ways than one.

Alex was a cloud. He was away on tour, far away and out of reach. We talked less but not intentionally. We both just got really busy and we didn't need each other for that constant contact anymore. I was plummeting toward the wildest time of my life and he was up to his usual unable-to-contact schedule. Somewhere in Australia first then opening for The Black Keys. Plus, he had Arielle.

The new girlfriend thing didn't bug me much, at least, not in the form of jealousy. It was a strange thing. I hadn't fully adjusted to the idea but it was much easier when he was nowhere near my life. If it had happened when we were younger, I think I would've punished myself for it, but I had grown into a far lighter figure who understood not everyone was trying to make a mark against me. Alex was living his own life, which for the past few years had been dedicated to one person. It was "seeing what else was out there."

I was alone for the most part. I saw Jackson nearly every day, whether for work or leisure, but I was getting used to being alone for long grasps of time. I spent time writing in my notebook like the old days. A therapy session that I locked away in a drawer. I rotted in my room for days. I watched all of The Sopranos, practiced the splits, and thought about getting a cat. It was winter and a very boring time.

But around the end of January, I did my first interview. It was small and nothing huge, but it was talking about my work in-depth for the first time with a stranger. I pretended I was talking to Alex.

Alex and I didn't stop talking completely. I called him on his birthday, briefly, and we had a long chat toward the end of January where we caught up with one another. Neither of us had much to tell. He had been touring. I had been crawling around New York doing next to nothing, besides book matters and talking about my "marketability."

Alex laughed at this. "Yeah, they tend to do that. Try to whittle you down to one trait."

"It's making me feel insecure." I laughed at it but it felt small inside me, burning its way out.

Alex hummed in agreement. "Well, at least you're not a pimple-ridden kid doing it."

It wasn't something he talked about much. He hated people giving him attention, yet he was in a career that commanded eyes to be focused on him. It was one of our many skimmed-over conversations. In some ways, it made me feel like I didn't know Alex. We both hid parts of ourselves from one another and knew that the other did this. That burning curiosity we used to have probably went out once we started to live with one another. You know someone for long enough that it begins to feel like you know every inch of them. I slept with him night after night but I wondered if I ever knew what was ticking on in his head before he fell asleep. What was he thinking when he sat outside with a closed notebook? Why did he turn away?

I didn't even know why I turned away. I wrote repeatedly in my notebook, questioning why I couldn't make it work with Alex. I resisted jumping into a relationship because of that. If I couldn't make it work with Alex then it probably wouldn't work with anyone, especially during that portion of my life. I didn't know what it meant to be alone, like really alone.

I deflected a lot. I even deflected earlier in this book. I was devastated by the loss of Alex and I don't think it hit me until much later because I always had an anvil weighing on the back of my head telling me it wasn't over. Arielle complicated those ideals and I think for a while I was on my back unable to regain upright status. I was flailing.

That's why I paused. When 2012 hit, I was forced into a corner. I felt distant from who I was but still so far away from who I was becoming. I felt like I was the roots of the tree that had been cut down. I was left to be a stump.

One night, over a joint, I told Jackson I didn't feel British. Jackson, a Californian boy through and through, did not understand this. He laughed from the high while the smoke just made me more disoriented. He told me that I was "perfectly British." To me, that sounded like some marketing strategy. That's what the book would be marketed as—a British girl coming to America; her cold skin meeting the California sun. It made me hate the book. Or I hated myself, the lines were blurring.

I thought I had grown away from forms of jealousy. I have just previously insisted to you that I experienced no feelings of envy toward Arielle...but I did. It was ignored and then it couldn't be. The "R U Mine?" music video featured Arielle and a "new" Alex. I'm not a fan of the insinuation Alex suddenly changed after we broke up, besides his hair and fresh Sheffield tattoo, I would come to know Alex was exactly the same. Alex never quite changes. He's always been suave. It's hard to take a 20-year-old as seriously as a 25-year-old, especially when he is still pimple-ridden.

I found my jealousy toward Arielle in regard to "R U Mine?" was the same as when Alex showed me "Bigger Boys and Stolen Sweethearts" because, honestly, since then Alex's only explicit romantic muse (the word makes me want to barf, but that's what I was) was me. It's the weird thing of being with a writer, especially with personal subjects. It's beautiful when it's for you but then you realize that it was never really for you. It was about you. Alex didn't write a song to make me feel loved. He wrote a song because he liked writing songs.

Unknowingly, I always felt that. It's why I didn't swoon every time I heard "Mardy Bum." I loved it as a song but it didn't feel like a love letter. I felt Alex's love in far different ways. As the years went on, I would find love letters in songs, but at the center, I found his love in crevices: a note from college, a smoke outside a pub, a cooked meal, folded laundry—god, I sound old.

But his love wasn't restricted to those songs. Just as my love isn't restricted to this tome. This is a love letter in pieces for Alex but it's also for my youth. I found around this time, I began to reflect on those early years. Nearly 10 years out from 2003, I became a preservationist. I jotted down my memory of my first conversation with Alex. I tucked it away in my drawer, no use for it yet.

Alex called me on my birthday. He wasn't too far away, somewhere between Portland and Boston on a bus. It was late with only an hour left to my birthday, which I had spent drinking with friends. It was a rather simple birthday. It could've been just another night, minus the cake (red velvet with frosted flowers on top of it) that Fennel and Kaka purchased for me.

Alex texted me in the morning. Something akin to Hey. Happy birthday. Al.

It was formal and if it didn't make me laugh so much I think I'd be hurt by it. But Alex always texted like that as if he was penning a letter. The letter was awfully short but it was sent at 4 AM, which made me believe he either had no sleep or had just woken up.

I was expecting more and I got more. When I was drunk.

"Hi," I said, shoving the phone to my ear as a subway train came roaring by.

He chuckled, hearing the noise. "Hi." He waited for it to pass fully before continuing, "Happy birthday."

"Thank you."

"Did you spend it good?"

"Yeah. I'm pretty drunk."

"Alright, then, I won't keep you long."

"No," I insisted. "Stay on the phone with me." I was pleading. I didn't want to let go of him. "At least, until I'm home." I wasn't far away but I lied and acted like I was further away, keeping him on the line with me, even as we lost connection at various times.

"Sorry I didn't get you anything," he said halfway through the subway ride.

"I didn't get you anything,” I reminded him.

"Yeah. Feels weird."

We hummed in silence because we both knew how abnormal this was. We weren't friends. Alex and I were never friends. Nothing ever went away or could ever go away. We were struggling to redefine what we were. We could never disentangle from one another. It pulled us back toward one another, even when we shouldn't have.

"I was going to get you that, uh, milkshake maker so you wouldn't have to pay extra at Morgenstern's for one." I didn't know a person could get so emotional over a milkshake maker that they would feel like crying on the F train. I might be the only person ever.

It was such a stupid gift. I would probably get two uses out of the machine before it broke and it wouldn't be as good as Morgenstern's makes theirs and it would go to waste. Still, I can imagine if he did get it for me. How after I unwrapped it we would go to Morgenstern's and get a pint of ice cream and Alex would make me a milkshake. One just for me. If I was feeling generous enough, we'd share the straw.

None of this would have happened, even if we were together. He'd still be in between Portland and Boston and I'd still be riding the F, wishing he was with me. It was comforting that maybe I had done the right thing, even if it felt so hard.

"Well, you can get it for me for Christmas."

He laughed and said, "Okay."

Black leather loafers with black wool flannel trousers. A white poplin shirt, two buttons loose at the top and at the bottom. I had a black corduroy jacket that Jackson held for me. I felt like I was dressing up in my mother's clothes. I was doing book press. It was an unfitting experience but I held the hardcover book in my hand. It felt unnatural but I liked my authour's photo.

By that point, I was so far removed from the contents of the book. I started to second-guess it even coming out. It felt like my diary, even if it was evasive at times and cut out the personal from that time (Alex is not mentioned once, not even as the person I moved to LA for). Still, it was exposing, but it was real now and it was sitting in my hand.

Alex came to town a week later, opening for The Black Keys. I didn't see the show—things were getting too busy by that point. I asked Alex if we could meet for a quick lunch and he accepted.

We met at Westville, a cute restaurant, but by no means romantic. I felt a need for that to be clear. I worried about Arielle worrying that I was trying to "steal" Alex or whatever that meant. I don't think she ever did. After all, she had the guy and I was resigned with no longer having the guy. It wasn't the bitch fight it has been imagined to be.

I waited for Alex outside the restaurant, smoking a cigarette to achieve my all-time high of cigarettes per day (this was not a good year for my lungs). I dressed in jeans and a T-shirt. I wanted to look cool but relaxed. I wore the previously mentioned black loafers to make it look like I didn't roll out of bed and throw some jeans on.

Alex wore the same thing: jeans, T-shirt, loafers...and a leather jacket. It was a hotter March day when spring was beginning to peek through and relieve the bitterness of winter. He was across the street stuck at a streetlight and I waved to him and he waved back. Then, we just stared at each other, waiting for the light to turn green.

He crossed, said hi, and hugged me. Every move was made with slight awkwardness. We hadn't been alone together since he moved out. "Have you been waiting long?" He asked.

I shook my head. "Got here early, just for a smoke. Do you want to go in now?"

"Yeah. Yeah." He bobbed his head.

I put my cigarette out and he followed me into the restaurant. "Your hair is back to normal." My natural brown. It was better for me to not play pretend when promoting a book about my own life.

"Yours isn't," I commented. It came off snarkier than I wanted it to.

He shrugged and smiled to ease the thick fat of awkwardness. "Yeah, well, you know." He didn't say it but this was the new normal for him, which was fine, but it was different from what I knew. When I dreamed about him or pictured him, it was still with a curling mop top or, you know, just the mop if I was dreaming of '09.

"Tattoo too," I added.

"Yeah."

"You're a changed man."

"Yeah."

Our heads ducked down and we stared at the menus in silence. It was a challenge of who would speak first—seriously speak, not those little comments over what looks good.

After we ordered, I said, "Sorry I'm not able to go tonight."

He waved me off. "You've already been to too many shows. Don't worry."

"Well, I like going. It feels weird not to go."

"Yeah." Somewhere in that word, I knew what he meant. It had been years since Alex had the ability to spot people in the crowd, but he told me once that there was a comfort in knowing I was somewhere in there, that even if he messed up, there would always be someone there at the end of it all. I wonder if he was still getting used to someone else being at the end of it all.

He sipped his water to cut off the look on his face. I decided to cut to the fat of it. "I, uh, have something to give you."

"Why do I feel like it's something bad?" He cracked a laugh, lifting the air in the room.

I picked up my bag. "I hope not."

I dug through my things slowly. It was held in my hands but I still had to catch my breath before I lifted it out. I saw a squint on his face as he tried to imagine what it was. I passed it across the table and his hands took it. That is when it all started to feel real; seeing his eyes land on it, his hands run down its spine with him smiling. "It's a first edition," I joked.

He raised an eyebrow, flipping it open. "Is it signed?" I laughed. I'm not sure what made me happier: him holding my book or joking around with him again. He opened the other end of the book. "Good author photo."

"I'm quite happy with it." Somewhere in that bittersweetness, I did feel content. It was never how I imagined him holding my first book. Parts of me were swallowed with sorrow that I would never experience this in the way I wanted—a desperate romantic lovemaking all-consuming kind of way—but there were small parts in me that were happy that we could still have this. I don't know if we kept dragging things out this would have been as joyous. That this would have felt like closure.

Alex looked up, meeting my eyes. A small smile played on his lips. The kind that can't be faked in any way. It was real and from the hurt. It was that pride he always had in me. The pride that kept me going for far longer than I'd ever imagined. I wrote the book, but he made the book. I never would've written anything close to it without him. I'd probably be stuck fucking Robert in London if it wasn't for him. It was my reassurance to him that he didn't have to make up for the sudden move to LA as he constantly tried to do. He wasn't in the book, but he was the book. It's why I dedicated it to him. It's why on the last page of his edition of the book I wrote: Don't make fun of me, Al. Thank you for this. I hope you know why. Love, Jane C.

I questioned the "love" part. I didn't want to make him uncomfortable but it would have been far more awkward to write something like "sincerely." I wasn't one for lying, especially about my love for Alex. It was something layered. It didn't rest in that romantic love. He wasn't just my boyfriend and he wasn't just my best friend. It's hard for a writer to find the word. It's nudged somewhere in this book. In all these little words.

"I wanted you to be the first to have it," I said. "Well, one of the first. Wanted to see the look on your face."

He looked back down at the book. Mild disbelief spread across his face as he looked back and forth between the book and me. "Thanks." He wasn't sure what else to say. He rolled everything around and looked as if he was choking on the bone of a chicken.

"It's been a little weird these past few months," I said while picking at my fingernails, an assured sign to Alex that I was referring to us. "I don't want it to feel weird. So, don't cry or anything," I joked.

He chuckled, dislodging the lump. He flipped the book over one more time before placing it on the table. "I'll try not to. I knew you could do it." He stared right at me, emphasizing every little syllable. The awkwardness faded from him and he leaned onto the table. His smile was small but bright. I could find a million different meanings in it, each meaning just as much.

"I know you did. You always did," I told him. "I had this dream last night. It was weird and blurry but we were driving around Sheffield or some weird ghost thing was driving us. It's hard to describe. I don't know. I think it was a sign or something. I'm not sure of what but just those early days of us talking. That's when I really started to write. I suppose my mind was thinking about this lunch and conjured up some old memories."

He smiled at me the whole time, eyes never leaving me, even when I glanced away. "Well, I had a dream that I was one of the animals left off of Noah's Ark, so, you tell me what that means."

I told him it had something to do with his fear of being left behind and he rolled his eyes and said I was trying to be Freud. Lunch came and we ate and laughed and agreed to split the check. He told me he would read the whole book tonight if he could. We hugged goodbye and he whispered in my ear, "I'll send you a proper review."

A few days later, Alex emailed me. It was long. Very long and detailed like he had taken a note on every page. He pulled the sentences he liked the most out, which turned out to be about half the book. I would later write back and ask what that meant for the other half of the book. He said they were left off Noah's Ark too. Continuing his initial email, Alex wrote at the bottom:

You did it. I hope you feel that too. Thank you, Al.

I had a book tour. A minimal one since there wasn't the highest of expectations and I didn't want to go to Omaha, Nebraska. So, there was Boston, New York, Atlanta, Chicago, Houston, and Los Angeles. I hated the whole thing. I always wanted to go to these places but I wasn't really going to these places. We lingered in Chicago at the end of July, but it was the equivalent of touring with Alex, except this time I was Alex.

I've never enjoyed talking about my work either but it was nice that people thought it was nice. But that part still felt awkward to me too. Like, people actually read this??? It eased up as it went along. It was a short tour anyway. I wasn't going to Tokyo or anything.

I thought about myself a lot. It was a little lonely but I had adapted to that. Jackson was my only company on the road and it was easy for us to get sick of one another. We had both grown bored with one another, both slightly exhausted from these months so closely intertwined. I thought about Al, often. I thought about myself, often.

Could it be possible that I did everything right? No. I never thought that but I didn't think I did everything wrong. I had cracks in the surface of me and guts that spilled out. I said everything with my pen but nothing with my lips. I hid myself under the disguise of a freshly lonesome girl who knew the only means to move on was to forget. But I didn't forget anything, only myself, just for a little. Pieces of me dropped on the side of the highway. We drove for days and I found no meaning in it, only wondering did he feel like this all the time? How did he bear this loss of self?

I asked myself questions and never got any answers. I felt everything but there was never any meaning in it. There were closed-off vessels, no means to transport blood or oxygen, yet, I was still moving. I suppose that was the only thing left to cling to. I still had the memory of it and those never made me sad. I experienced it. How fortunate was I to be cracked open and exposed to this impenetrable love? I still felt it. We were both on the end of the same wire. It was bent and twisted, knots made to keep strong but disrupt transmission. No love lost. Just changed. I know good comes from change. I didn't feel the goodness but I could taste it coming. So much else was happening. I would hate myself forever for wasting those precious few days of enjoyment in place of a relationship that didn't need nourishment anymore. It was about me. I wanted it to be about me for so long and it finally was. Don't waste it.

The mini-tour ended in LA at the start of August. Summer had whipped me in the face so hard I forgot the season even existed, until I was stuck in the sweaty, SoCal heat, dying for a drop of water. The first night—the day before the Q&A and book signing—Jackson and I got dinner and drinks with Opal.

It was nice to let loose after feeling so pinned up for most of the summer. The liquor soothed my sunburnt skin and I decided the tour as a whole wasn't too bad—I was about 3 drinks in at this point. Then, after another drink, I texted Alex telling him I was in town. The last we chatted was a week or so before when the band opened for the London Olympics. I watched it later on YouTube and told him he did a bang-up job. He told me he nearly shat himself.

Alex had returned to LA since. The city had become his permanent home since the tour had ended. He bought a house out here and everyone in the band, for the most part, had relocated too. So, in my drunken state, I told him I was there and we should hang before I went back to New York.

When I woke up, it was an embarrassing text of I'm in LA, AL. Even in my drunken state, I wrote with proper grammar. Alex wrote back, Come on over. This was in the early hours of the day so he must have been up by some similar means too.

The following night, I panicked. I wondered if this is what single people felt like all the time. Prior to this, I had never faced intimidation when hanging out with Alex, except maybe when I was 17 and that type of thing could be labelled as teenage anxiety. But, no, this was a thing that would plague me the rest of my dating life and I wasn't even going on a date with him. Alex is the only "ex" I had stayed in contact with up to that point. Most of my friends didn't do this type of thing either, at least not Opal who lived by the mentality that once people were gone they were gone forever.

Half my anxiety came from the limited wardrobe out of my suitcase but considering it was just dinner and a dinner that would be had with the other bandmates and the girlfriends, there should've been no pressure. I wouldn't have told you this at the time, I barely want to write it down now, but the nerves I felt weren’t because of Alex, they were because of Arielle. Part of me wanted to be conceived as a non-threat. I was over those days. The other part of me—the stronger part—wanted her to be jealous of me and question why Alex and I ever broke up. I wasn't fully-formed yet.

The two sides fought and then I just settled on jeans and a tank top because it was boiling outside and I was having drinks at Al's place, not the Windsors. Luckily, I showed up after Jamie and Katie so I thought of using Katie as a shield. I didn't accept Katie and Arielle to be talking though. The word traitor crossed through my brain and then I thought I must be regressing to my college days when Rosie and Will would feel each other up in front of me. Arielle was nice and I was probably an anxious bitch.

So, I hugged both of them as Alex came into the living room. He was staggering, dressed casually beside his uniform slicked hair. "Hey there," he greeted. He was calm, not an awkward bone in his body. He knew he had the upper hand. We were on his home turf with his hot girlfriend and I was a single mess who had been on plane after plane and stunk of cigarettes.

The room was hot with sweat dripping off every surface it seemed. The air conditioner was running but the flaming air came rushing in with the swing of the front door as Matt and Breana entered. The room became distracted by them, both looking darling. I hugged each of them, distracting myself in their grasp.

Arielle had lit candles for the dining table. It was the only thing formal about the informal event. The house itself was rather bare. Alex never carried much, I was always the one with the shit.

Alex tapped my arm. "You want a drink?"

"What do you have?" I asked.

He waved his arm and I followed him to the kitchen, isolating ourselves. "Beer, wine, tequila, vodka, all the fixings. I can make you something if you'd like. Margarita?"

"Anything non-alcoholic?" Alcohol would ease my nerves but it would lead to my loud mouth and I couldn't afford that tonight.

He looked bewildered. "Who are you?" He joked.

We kept our distance. I pushed my hair behind my shoulder. "Got real drunk with Opal and Jackson last night. Figured I'd keep it clean. At least for now."

"Right then. Iced tea?"

He knew me well. I laughed at his smile and agreed to this. I moved closer to the refrigerator to just feel the cold air on my skin. He poured the glass, leaving the door open for me. I chugged the coldness like it was the elixir of life. It felt like my lungs re-inflated when the liquid dispersed and his eyes looked at mine again, so clearly over that fogged-up glass. Wet brown eyes into my baby blues and it felt like he might reach out and snatch them out of my eyes and keep them for himself. He always liked them. He has a thing for blue eyes.

We talked around the dining table, eating a mix of something Arielle had cooked and pizza. I had the pizza. Everyone talked loosely about things I had no knowledge of. Jokes about LA and all these people I had no concept of. I suppose if they had come to New York it would have been similar, except they all shared this with one another.

The sweet Breana turned the attention onto me, which partially made me shrink and revel in the joy of being included. "Oh, Jane, I loved the book!" Everyone chanted in similar sentiments all at once.

I laughed and took a bite of my pizza crust. "You didn't all read it," I laughed.

"I read parts of it," Jamie said. They were all sweet but I'm unsure how often any of them even had the chance to pick up a book, let alone their best friend's ex-girlfriend. Because that's what I was now. That was my title.

Alex looked at me. I could hear my mother's words ringing through his lips so I smiled and said, "Thank you."

"Disappointed I wasn't in it more," Matt said. "You know if it wasn't for me the book would've never been made." The long story of it has made that true but I can't give Matt credit for everything, it might go to his head too much.

"How's that?" Arielle asked. Everything shifted after that. We could all tell that she had been the wrong one to ask that question. Whether she was clueless and curious or was trying to make a dig at Alex, I wasn't sure, but I felt like an imposition being there. I didn't feel like an out-of-town friend. I felt like an ex-girlfriend.

Nobody spoke so I spoke. "Matt introduced me and Alex." I sipped my drink to wash down any other awkwardness.

Everyone seemed awkward other than Arielle. She quickly nodded and said, "Oh, yeah, Al told me that." I wondered why everyone else was so stiff when Arielle didn't seem to have much of a problem with it. Why should she when she looked like that?

I felt frumpy and had to pee badly from all the iced tea I had drank but I was too scared to go to the bathroom and see her things mixed with Alex's things. I could leave there with ambiguity and the belief that Alex didn't move on so quickly and I was stuck being alone.

"That was our first gig," Matt said. He seemed to relax, always the person to slice through any amount of tension. "Almost 10 years ago now."

"What was it like?" Arielle asked.

"Awful," Alex said. His eyes pointed toward me. "Right?"

"I don't know. I never reviewed it, remember?" He laughed and it felt inappropriate to display this inside language in front of everyone. "It feels weird that I'm the only one here who watched it." Even if that had been the case for many years, it had been a while since we all gathered around in a circle and talked about those days.

"I wasn't even there," Nick remarked. The room buckled with chuckles.

I laid my forehead against the palm of my hand resting against the table. "God," I said, "I spent that whole show with Will’s hand on my ass and Joanie screaming in my ear."

"Oh, god, Joanie," Matt muttered.

"Oh, god, Will," Jamie cracked.

"She got married last month," I told them. She had invited me but I was in the middle of the tour. We talked about once a year and everything was always nice. The only time I would've had the chance of running into her was when Alex and I visited Sheffield and that obviously wasn't happening anymore.

"Bless that man's heart," Matt quipped.

I shook my head. "No, she seems to have settled down in the last few years. I guess we all did. Seems so long ago."

"It was," Alex said. "We're getting old, Janie." His silence punctured the air. My lungs felt like they were deflating. He poured himself another glass.

Things grew looser and looser. They rattled off stories of LA, I rattled off stories from the road. Arielle excused herself to bed, citing an early morning. Her bed was upstairs.

Each couple left one by one until Alex and I awkwardly remained. I figured then I should leave. He walked me to the door with a freshly poured glass in his hand. "Hope I didn't keep you up too late," I said because I wasn't sure what else to say. It reminded me of what my parents said to each other after a fight. It was the one thing they clung to in order to keep their marriage somehow working.

He shook his head and sipped. "No, no. It's fine. You're always good company."

I shrugged. The whole thing kind of felt awkward, at least with him. I could laugh with Matt and throw my arm around Katie, even hug Arielle good night, but whenever my eyes landed on Alex, I tensed up so tightly I knew I'd be sore the next day. "If you're ever in New York or whatever."

He nodded and smiled. He would be visiting his old apartment. I wondered how that would make him feel. Was it the same when I walked into his house and noticed different shoes by the door than mine? Would the emptiness of his presence leave him uneasy? "I'd like that," Alex said.

"Thanks for having me." We reached the door and the end of the night but we stayed awkwardly staring at each other.

"Course. Text me when you're back at the hotel and safe and all that." He was drunk, rambling with an incapability of holding his tongue.

I smiled. "I will."

I didn't know whether to hug him or not. He leaned forward and kissed me. It wasn't affectionate. It was a peck. The kind my mother used to give me when left for school in the morning. Of course, she was my mother and I was 7 and Alex was drunk and I was, well, awkward.

I said, "Night," and turned away. We never talked about it because there was nothing to talk about. It very well could have been a kiss on the cheek just like I gave Katie and Breana before they left. Of course, that was Katie and Breana and this was Alex—no longer mine.

Rain pattered against the window. Jackson and I returned to New York a week prior and we were now sitting in my apartment, drinking, and about to call Opal to join us. I felt dizzy and Jackson looked sleepy. It had been a long month.

"So," he said, "what's next?"

I finished off my glass. "What do you mean?" The year felt empty as the cold was beginning to creep into my summer warmth. 2012 was a bumpy year where so much yet so little happened. I was growing sick of my apartment because no matter how rid it was of Alex, he still had a whole life with me here. When I returned to it after the book tour, I was ready to move on.

Jackson placed his arm on the back of the couch. The tips of his fingers softly poked at my shoulder. "Now it's time to think about the next book."

I tossed my head back with a groan. "Gimme a break."

He chuckled and placed his empty glass on the end table. "No rush. For now."

I sat up straight, finishing off my glass, and growing more and more serious every day. "Thanks for doing this for me, Jackson."

He nodded. "My pleasure."

"I feel kind of empty," I confessed.

His brows furrowed. "What do you mean?"

I didn't feel like explaining it. I was growing tired of doing that with people. My stomach ached and I pushed Alex out of my mind. I felt that I had sacrificed our relationship for this success, even if it wasn't true. I thought I would have been over it by that time of year. It had been over a year. But it still felt so unnatural for him to feel so far removed from my life. Every word we spoke felt tinged with sadness and I didn't want it to feel that way. I wanted to move on.

I kissed Jackson. He kissed back. We never called Opal.

Jackson and I started dating in a casual way. We were exclusive to one another and treated each other as a boyfriend and girlfriend would but I suppose my association with dating was always a far deeper connection. I wasn't alone in this. Jackson had long-term girlfriends prior to me. He was older than me, not by some outrageous amount. He was born in 1979, seven years older, but I was 26 and 33 didn't feel so far off.

Opal loved it. She felt like the ultimate matchmaker and wanted to be both the maid of honor and the best man. My New York crew loved him. Fennel and Kaka found him to be rich in conversation. He liked going out more than Alex but then again most people liked going out more than Alex. Except more and more it seemed Alex enjoyed the going out part. (I was taken but I was still a snooping ex-girlfriend).

I didn't tell Alex. It felt awkward to call him up and tell him I got a new boyfriend. I decided to tell him when I saw him again, which didn't come up. He was in Los Angeles. I was in New York. We didn't talk very often either. I think I called him once in October because I couldn't remember the name of a restaurant we went to (he didn't remember either).

Other than that, there wasn't much reason to talk. We had completely separate lives. But I was aware of what he was up to. I wasn't cyber-stalking him much anymore (only on nights when I was wildly intoxicated). I talked to Katie occasionally and texted Breana from time to time. Things about Alex would slip through the cracks and get to me but the majority of it was just that they were recording their new album.

We had both moved on. Or we were both pretending we did. At least I was pretending, in some form. I thought about him all the time. I didn't feel like a day went by when I didn't think about him. It wasn't in some romantic longing way. I had shared a life with him from such a young age and to be forced apart from it felt unnatural. There were so many jokes and stories that went untold because no one would get it but him.

When I went back home for the holidays, I confided this to my mother. I don't know why, maybe because of what she had told me so many years ago in Florida. I don't know if my mother ever actually liked Alex so I figured if she said awful things about him it would make me feel better. Of course, she didn't.

"It goes away," she said. "One day, you wake up and you're numb to it. You just get numb to it in the end, Jane. All those people you hated and loved turn to nothing. Even the ones you still want to love. You'll be thankful for it when the day comes that you don't feel anything anymore."

I frowned and my mother left me on the couch to fetch another bottle of wine. In retrospect, my mother was suffering from mental illness, but I was oblivious to that because I had grown oblivious to most of my mother's behavior. I just didn't want to engage with it anymore. Maybe part of me was numb toward her.

I didn't want to feel nothing. I couldn't imagine not feeling anything for Alex, even if we remained friends for the rest of our lives. I had tethered so much sentimentality toward him, he might as well have been a knick-knack on my shelf. Letting go of him would be letting go of an entire part of myself. I was content if that part only came out once a year when I saw him but I couldn't let go of it forever.

Joanie was having a baby. She likely got pregnant on her honeymoon. Someone my age having a child felt unnatural. I pictured Joanie being a teen mum, not a 26-year-old pregnant woman. She invited me to the baby shower taking place right after Christmas. It was ideal timing since all her closest friends would be in town or, like me, the country.

I debated going but decided that since I missed the wedding the least I could do was go to the baby shower. So, I drove the Beetle up to Wakefield. I figured it would be a mini-reunion. The only one I had seen as of late was Claire, who lived in Bristol now, and I hadn't seen since last winter.

We drove up together and listened to Radio 2 on full blast the whole way. I don't think I had ever felt more like a teenager even when I was a teenager. Claire continued her streak of always being a comfort for me. While other friends might be wedding and birthing, Claire had just ended her two-year-long relationship and gagged in her mouth at the thought of being a mother one day.

It made me miss England so desperately. I forgot how much I ached to drive, which I hadn't done in years. The closest I had gotten to a car was the one taxi ride home drunk at 4 AM. And to drive on the left side of the road! I hadn't heard someone speak in a British accent since the dinner at Alex's. It eased my ears and made me wonder why I ever left, which just led to me thinking about Alex again.

Claire said, "I hate Alex, which sucks 'cause I like Alex." In a way, it summed up how conflicted I felt. Hate is a strong word but I was resentful for how everything went down. Then again, I probably didn't have much of a right.

Joanie's house was straight out of a picture book. I didn't know houses like that even existed in Wakefield. It wasn't fancy but at the sight of it, you'd call it a home. She had a little garden in the front that she said her husband grew herbs in that she used for cooking. It made Claire and I roll our eyes but we both desperately wanted that kind of companionship. If I ever would learn how to cook or grow plants, maybe that could be my life. I refused to do either, but it was a nice thought.

I bought Joanie—or Joanie's baby—these cozy fleece booties because that's what New York Magazine said to get. I never bought anything for a baby before (I got away with it two years ago during Harper's unmentioned pregnancy of my first nephew, Benjamin, by having my mother buy a gift for me) so I had no clue what to get. I bought Joanie this nice set of body washes that were her favourite when we were 17 with the hope that they either still were or she would feel nostalgic over them.

Claire and I ate a slice of cake and watched Joanie open her presents. Halfway through we turned to each other and decided we were going to go out drinking after. I love Joanie but oohing and awing over baby gifts with a bunch of women I barely knew got old quickly, especially incredibly sober and in the middle of the winter blues. The cake was good though.

The shower ended around 4 and while I was down to get hammered that early, Claire wanted to go out to lunch first. We ended up meeting up with AB at a pub. I hadn't seen AB since 2006 and I nearly cried at the sight of him all grown up. Claire and AB had broken up long ago but stayed in touch as good friends and if they could do it—two incredibly mature people—maybe Alex and I could too.

AB's girlfriend of two years (and future wife), Shay, joined us as well. It almost made me barf how gorgeous they were together and I was shocked Claire wasn't fuming more over how beautiful Shay was. I was almost fuming over how beautiful Shay was!

AB sipped on a beer, which I don't think I had ever witnessed. He shared it was Shay and I swallowed down my drink at the painful thought that Alex and I once did things like that. I was such a sad sack. I thought about calling Jackson. Thank god I didn't.

We left the pub, hugging AB and Shay goodbye next to the Beetle. Claire and I were going to go back to the hotel to change out of our baby shower clothes and "hit the town.”

We waved goodbye to the couple and that's when I saw Alex with his mum. I turned my back to him and grabbed Claire's arm. "I think I'm gonna vomit."

She looked at me completely puzzled. "What? Why?"

I was so freaked out by the sight of him. I think the unexpected nature of it threw me off-balanced. I had never been that unnerved by the sight of him. My head felt like my brain was about to burst out of my ears. "Get in the car," I harshly muttered to her.

She was still unaware but she raced around the side of the car to get into the passenger seat. We bolted out of there before he crossed the street.

It was midnight when I called him. I was definitely drunk, but not wasted, standing outside a club smoking while Claire chatted up with some guy inside. I was freezing and felt so childish for doing it, even in the moment, but I wanted to see him. It shouldn't feel right that I was here and he wasn't.

"Hello." His voice was clear so he hadn't been sleeping. I wonder if he was in bed (with Arielle).

I swallowed whatever dignity I had left and let the rest loose. "Hey. I'm in Wakefield for Joanie's baby shower 'cause apparently we're old enough to have children now and now I'm out with Claire at a club. We drove up together from Bath, well, Bristol for her, Bath for me, but you know that. Jesus. I saw you earlier today and raced into my car because I was so scared by the sight of you, which made me realize I'm not as mature as I thought I was. And it was just after we went to lunch with AB and Shay and Claire and AB still get along like they didn't have this romantic relationship and I know that we get along too but I raced to my car and nearly shit myself. Now, I'm outside a club smoking in the middle of winter because I apparently regress back to teenage tendencies when I'm in Yorkshire or maybe just England in general. Anyway, I'm drunk and I'm thinking this was stupid and it probably is but I know you're probably laughing at me right now but I'm freezing my ass off and I can't figure out how to get back inside the club and Claire isn't answering her phone, which means she's probably shagging someone or something and I wouldn't want to interrupt that, you know, and I probably should just get a cab back to the hotel but I called you for some reason. Well, not for some reason because I'm drunk. Okay, now you talk."

I was out of breath and sure I had just lost my mind. I need another shot of tequila. I felt I was growing too sober to face the repercussions of this. I took a drag of my cigarette and listened to his breathing on the other end of the line.

I could hear his smile. I still had a knack for that kind of thing. "I saw you too, you know."

I slapped my forehead and thought about slamming my head into the brick wall until it broke my skull and my brain gushed out. "Did it look like we were being held at gunpoint?"

He chuckled lowly. "A little. But I must've looked like someone pointed a gun at me. I'd recognize that car anywhere, Janie."

I didn't know what to say. My car was such a sensitive topic for both of us. It was the cornerstone (ha) of our relationship, especially for the car to be returned to its rightful county. I thought I'd feel weird driving it but everything felt right like it was a complete homecoming. Like nature had found its way and every piece fell perfectly into the puzzle.

"I thought I would be grown up by now," I confessed.

He suppressed a laugh. "I like you this way. Makes me feel less alone."

"How so?"

He waited, not wanting to fully let the truth go but it was me he was talking to. There wasn't much point in lying. "I've called you in various states of intoxication too."

"Not after running to your car," I pointed out.

"Yeah, well, I'm sure I'll do it one of these days." It was a silence but a vibration rang across the line to one another. Call it a vibe or a wavelength or just a feeling, but I could feel him like he was standing right next to me. "Where are you?"

It was so embarrassing I laughed. "Che & Coco." It was Barnsley College's resident bar and nightclub. The average age of the crowd was barely 20 and I felt like such a loser trying to claim that nostalgia is what made me want to club there.

"Geez, you really are down bad." His laughter rang through the phone and I nearly hung up due to how beet red my face was. He laughed and laughed. I could picture him with his hands on his knees, walking home from Will's house, unable to breathe he was laughing so hard. Then, I couldn't breathe. "You want me to pick you up?"

I'd like that a lot but I couldn't take it. That was a bridge too far. "No, no. I'll just call a taxi or something. Maybe even walk. My hotel isn't that far."

"You're gonna walk in Barnsley at midnight? Hope you don't get hit with a beer bottle," he joked. That had happened to Will back in the day. I'm convinced it made him even dumber if that's possible.

"I've walked later than this in New York," I reasoned.

"Janie," he stopped me, "I'd like to see you if you won't run away from me."

I sighed. "I'll see you in 20. I'll be waiting on Peel." Because maybe I would like to see him too.

He pulled up in his mum's car. It wasn't her car from way back in the day but it made him feel sophomoric to me. His hair wasn't gelled up, instead falling around in tendrils of combed-back magic. He had a hoodie on and a smile on his face. He honked the horn of the car and I dashed across the street to his car.

The car was warm, at least warmer than outside where I had been suffering. I tugged my coat closer and put my seatbelt on. "Hi."

Alex smiled over at me. "Hi." He pulled back onto the road and I couldn't remember the last time he had driven me. "How've you been?"

I shrugged in his peripheral vision. "Fine. Christmas was fine. My dad bought me Slouching Toward Bethlehem."

Alex laughed. "About 10 years too late."

"Yeah, but at least he's trying. I can't remember the last time he bought me a gift." My mother handled all the presents, something she was rather good at, even if it always felt like she didn't know me.

We stopped at a red light. "I didn't get anything for you," he said while looking over at me.

"Well, I didn't get you anything either." First time in eight years. It didn't even cross my mind. "This is enough of a present anyway."

He nodded in agreement. "Good." I believed him. The nod of his head told me that this meant as much to me as it did to me. Drunk actions are sober thoughts and sometimes I just wanted to hear his voice.

We kept driving. I had yet to tell him any directions. He was headed the right way but I wouldn't have had the willpower to tell him anyway. I liked driving around with him. I liked just this. The vibration of the road beneath us and the scent of him washing over me. The slowness of Yorkshire and the heat of him beside me. It made everything feel right.

"Arielle come with you?"

He rubbed his eye. He looked tired. "Nah. She went to her parents’." I nodded and he waited, looking over at me. I stared at him blankly. He looked back at the road and kept the car moving. "What about, uh, Jackson?"

My head snapped toward him. "He's at his parents’." I picked at my nails. I didn't want to talk about this. Why did it feel like I was cheating on him? It felt like Alex had died and I was some widower trying to move on but his ghost was coming back to shame me.

"Katie mentioned something," he muttered.

"Yeah," I explained, "just a few months."

He nodded slowly. "He's a nice guy." I laughed out loud. He laughed too, for some reason. "What?"

I shook my head. "We don't have to talk about my boyfriend."

"Okay. We don't have to talk about Arielle." It was probably some form of cheating, emotionally. We gazed at one another and never acted on anything, but the aftertaste of it didn't feel right. But in the moment, everything had fallen perfectly into place.

We went nowhere and neither of us said a single thing about it. The drive from the club to my hotel was ten minutes. We drove around for an hour.

"Joanie's house is beautiful. It's like my dream house. It isn't big but it's not a cottage or anything. But it's quaint. She's got plants and I never thought Joanie could take care of a living thing and now she's gonna have a baby," I told him. I fiddled with the radio, even though we weren't gonna listen to it.

"Are you sure they aren't fake?" He joked. I chuckled and hit his shoulder. "Eh! Watch it. I'm driving here, missy."

I held my hands up as a defense. I eased them back down with a giggle and tugged on my seatbelt strap. "You know, I thought I'd have a baby by now."

He snorted. "No, you did not."

"At one point I did. I mean, back before you. Like when I was still playing with dolls."

He laughed again and everything made sense. "Good thing you don't. You can't even keep a plant alive."

"They're not self-sufficient enough."

"And you think a baby will be easier?"

"Not anymore but at six I did! It was right around when Stacey was born. I took good care of her."

Alex felt warm with a smile. "You did." He was an only child but at times I felt he might consider her a sister too. She considered him a brother. He had been around since she was 11. She was only a little over a year away from graduating university.

"Granted I didn't have to breastfeed her."

It was still dark outside but it felt like the sun was rising in that car. "You wouldn't be happy living Joanie's life."

"How do you know?" I questioned. "Maybe if I was settled I'd feel better."

Alex's jaw gaped. He breathed a laugh and I looked over at him curiously. "Jane, you'd be losing your mind. The whole time I knew you here, you were begging to get out of here."

"Maybe I had it all wrong."

He shook his head, never looking over at me, just driving. "You're a completely different person because you got out of here. You're gonna get all that stuff one day. The kid, the garden, whatever the fuck you want, but you'd never have what you have no if you stayed put. You always knew what you wanted. Your gut is always right. I've learned that."

I sighed and accepted he was right. "Grass is always greener, I guess."

"Yeah," he agreed. "But I think you have the greenest grass. You're the one who's a bestseller."

I rolled my eyes and leaned on the center console. "She's the one with the husband and baby."

He scoffed, "So is half the world. You have a tough time being proud of your accomplishments."

I gasped. "Look who's talking. My god!"

Alex chuckled and it felt like food for my soul. Fertilizer to my soil to keep growing. "Fair enough. But be cocky every once and a while, Janie. You deserve it."

I took what he said to heart but ignored him. I wanted to talk about something else. I wanted to put my feet in his lap and ride to Charlton Brook. Instead, I leaned back and looked at him. "We used to talk about the future so much and now it's come and gone."

"You're not dead yet." But we were. I think that's what I really meant. All those things I had planned with him and I had to be content with letting them go. Watching those promises slip through my fingers. I had no right to feel that way but it's all I felt.

I wanted to tell him I loved him with the windows rolled down and the cold air rushing in because he used to let me do that. I believe that right had been revoked. "I missed it here." The truth was hidden in those words, in between the lines, deep in those letters, stuffed in between them.

He hummed, glancing over. "Me too. Everything feels a little simpler."

I heard the radio speaking, ringing some familiar tune that I couldn't think of the name. Maybe if it had been a little simpler and Alex and I stayed there forever, in the car ride between Wakefield and High Green, we'd have a house, a garden, a ring, a little thing on the way.

But I would've missed out on a lot more. I would have missed out on a lot of Alex. How he was with his hair long in the middle of Joshua Tree, looking over at me instead of the night sky. How he made up our bed in our London studio apartment into a couch because we didn't have enough space for one. How he felt sitting next to me on the C train at 2 AM. How he felt in the dead of winter in Yorkshire, somehow ending up at my hotel with a hoodie I used to wear and a smile he still wears just for me.

I'll never know otherwise. And that's fine.

a/n: this was a struggle but i think it landed right in the end. much, much more to come.

#alex turner #alex turner fic #alex turner x fem!reader #alex turner x oc #alex turner x reader #alex turner x y/n #alex turner x you #alex turner smut #junedenim #beneath the boardwalk

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ozai-the-bonsai · 2 days ago

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The Last Goodbye

Pairing: Daemon Targaryen x sister!reader

Summary: Daemon is getting ready to fly to Harrenhal to meet his fate above the Gods Eye and it kills you to send him off to his death. You share your last goodbyes before Daemon departs, which leaves you seeking for revenge.

A/N: I dreamt some part of this a few nights ago (the readers dream at the beginning is 1:1 with my dream :3) and I knew I had to write it as soon as possible! Unlike my typical Daemon works, this one-shot is all about an emotional last scene between the reader and Daemon. Enjoy!

Warnings: strong language, targcest

“Where is Daemon?”

The disgusting smirk on your nephew's face, Aegon, only served to heighten your unease. Your tone turned sharp, bordering on a threat. "I asked you a question, Aegon."

Aegon raised an eyebrow at your direction as he made himself comfortable on his chair, pouring himself some wine. “Mind your tone, Aunt – this is not how you talk to your king.”

You had never been a patient woman; however, with Aegon, your patience was practically non-existent. “I have no king, you fucking idiot.” You hissed between your gritted teeth and in a moment of blind rage, you found your hands holding Aegon from his collar. “Need I repeat myself?” Your voice was loud.

However, instead of fear in his eyes, all you could see was Aegon snickering as he looked somewhere over your shoulder. Quickly, you let him go and turned around – only to see Aemond mounting Vhagar. At that moment, it all hit you.

“No…” You muttered as you pushed Aegon away and ran to the stairs. “DAEMON, WHERE ARE YOU?”

You weren’t quite sure what scared you more – the way you woke up screaming, the nightmare itself, or the loud clang coming from the other end of the chambers.

“Fuck,” Daemon cursed as he bent down to pick up the piece of armour from the ground, which was apparently responsible for the noise. “That was some fucking loud scream.”

Holding the armour piece in his hands, your brother walked towards your bed, sitting at your feet as you tried to steady your breathing. “Bad dream?” He asked with a soft voice as he placed the piece on his lap and held your hand. You nodded.

“I thought I lost you, you were going…” While your eyes wandered around the room, you could put the pieces together and the moment you understood what Daemon was up to, the very same feeling from your nightmare returned. “What… are you doing?”

Daemon leant in to place a small kiss on top of your head. “You should go back to sleep…” But before his lips could land on you, you interrupted him by pushing him away harshly to stand up, the last bits of sleep hanging onto your lashes were long gone. Heaving a sigh, Daemon stood up as well. “You really want to do it this way, dear sister, don’t you?”

Again, patience had never been your best practice and Daemon… Well, let’s say that Daemon could easily compete with Aegon when it came to toying with your patience.

The only difference was that you had never fucked Aegon – even the mere idea of the act with your nephew was disgusting – but Daemon you had been fucking ever since you were a young woman.

“You were going to fuck off before saying goodbye to me!” Your voice thundered inside your chambers, catching Daemon off-guard, causing him to slightly flinch. “The last goodbye – am I not worth it? After all these years, after everything we have been through…”

Your brother stood up after leaving the piece of armour on the bed. “You are but so eager to see me dead, mandia,” his words brushed against your cheeks as he took you into his arms, his frame towering over yours. “I will kill the hoary old bitch and her one-eyed cunt of a rider, and be back before sunrise – you wouldn’t have realised my absence.” [mandia = sister]

“Daemon, please,” your voice was lower this time, the rage leaving its place to fear, tears forming on your eyes. “Don’t do this. Don’t leave me.” The lump in your throat was getting larger with each word, making it impossible to breathe. “You know you won’t make it out alive – Vhagar is too strong for you to take her out alone.”

Daemon cupped your face, wiping way the tears rolling down your cheek. “Have faith in me, love,” he spoke in the language of your people. He knew his words had a stronger effect on you whenever he spoke in High Valyrian, perhaps you found it more personal or felt yourself even closer to him – you didn’t really know. “Tonight, I will end this war. Tomorrow, I will give our niece her crown and then, I am all yours. Until my last breath.”

A sob escaped your lips, knowing very well that this was Daemon’s last goodbye. You both knew he was not coming back once he mounted Caraxes – though he would never admit it. Not to you, to his dear sister.

“Take me with you,” the words left your lips without even thinking. “Aemond will not be anticipating Nerathos accompanying Caraxes to Harrenhal.”

Shaking his head, Daemon placed his left hand on your belly. “I cannot lose you both, my love.” He whispered. The way his lower lip trembled as he gave voice to his deepest fear – before you knew it, you burst into tears, sobbing violently as you fell onto your knees.

“Daemon, please,” your voice was weak when you spoke. Pushing away the strands of silver hair falling in front of your eyes, you looked up to meet Daemon’s gaze, your purple eyes shining with tears. “I am begging you. Don’t leave us.”

With a bittersweet smile on his lips, Daemon helped you getting back on your feet. It was easy to see how hard he was trying to keep his emotions under control for he knew once he allowed himself to break, he would not be able to leave you behind.

He pulled you into his arms, his face buried in your silver hair. “There is no other way,” he whispered as he inhaled your scent deeply. “I love you, more than anything.”

Your sobs were silenced by Daemon’s lips, pressed firmly against yours. The kiss was full of passion, love and sorrow – you poured all the heavy feelings you carried in your heart into that last kiss, everything you had said and you never got to say. As Daemon’s tongue slid into your mouth and his grip on your waist tightened, you could still taste the salt from the tears – though you did not know whose tears they were anymore.

Time froze around the two of you as you melted into the kiss one last time. Daemon held you so tight as if he was afraid someone could come and snatch you away from him any moment, as if he was afraid to lose you. Your hands wrapped around his neck got tangled in his silver hair.

The moment Daemon broke the kiss, you knew you had to say goodbye to him in a few moments. He pushed a strand of hair behind your ear. “Wait for me, dear sister,” he spoke against your lips, “I will be back before sunrise.”

Even you yourself do not believe these words, love.

However, instead of arguing further, you forced a smile onto your lips as you nodded, tears still rolling down your cheeks. “Don’t you dare make me wait, lēkia.” As Daemon was about to take the last piece of his armour lying on the bed, you held him from his wrist, causing him to look at you. “Daemon,” you breathed out his name. “I love you, too. I will always love you.” [lēkia = brother]

You did not know how long you sat on your bed, crying, after Daemon left for Harrenhal. It was impossible to control your body which was constantly shaking – the mixed feelings of intense sorrow, the-soon-to-come grief and immense degrees of rage against the Greens had completely taken over the control.

After an hour of anxious waiting and sobbing, your body stopped shaking with the idea that came to your mind. You knew it was risky and you knew the Queen would probably not like you going rogue but at that moment, none of this mattered. Your blood boiled with the desire for revenge. And you knew exactly how you could take it.

It didn’t take long for you to change into your riding armour and mount your dragon Nerathos. As you flew over King’s Landing, Daemon’s voice still echoed in your ears, telling you to protect the baby. It was reckless, what you were about to do, you knew that quite well. You could lose your baby if anything went wrong, or you could follow the same path your brother had; however, in that moment, you were blinded by rage.

I will not let Daemon die for nothing! Eye for an eye – brother for a brother!

The flight to Dragonstone wasn’t long, before you knew it, Nerathos was getting ready to descend.

Considering it was the hour of the wolf, you did not expect to see anyone outside the castle. As you were planning how to bring down the walls on Aegon’s fucking head to crush the crippled cunt inside, your purple eyes shone for you had seen the said cripple outside the castle – only accompanied by a handful of guards.

You could tell he was anxiously waiting to hear from Harrenhal.

However, the only thing he heard was the flapping of Nerathos’ wings.

“DRAGON!” You heard someone shout from below as your dragon made a quick dive. The guards were trying to take Aegon to safety quickly but they could not match the pace of a dragon. As Nerathos landed in front of them, the guards created a wall in front of the usurper, pointing their swords at the dragon.

Nerathos roared, cutting through the night like a blade.

“Nerathos,” you spoke with determination inside your eyes. “Dracarys!”

#daemon x reader #daemon targaryen x reader #daemon targaryen #house of the dragon #house of the dragon fic #hodt #hodt fic #matt smith #game of thrones

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salsa-di-pomodoro · 2 years ago

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Does crying over fictional characters count as grieving? Even if they're not real, we've gotten attached to them, ofter enough to want to refer to them like we would a friend. If a character we love in such a way dies or goes through something horrible, and we cry over them and when we are asked if anything is wrong and we respond that no, you're just too emotional over a fictional character, is that a lie? Many have said that the fate of a favourite character is often decisive in overall mood, even outside of fandom spaces. Have we simply been grieving for someone who never existed this whole time?

#when does grief stop being grief?#and i mean even if irrational #what i'm trying to say is are we grieving like it's the loss of a loved one or are we just making a big noise out of something trivial #when someone is fawning over their blorbo and they say 'he is real to me' is that their subconscious speaking?#is the subconscious part of our brain unable to distinguish real people on the internet vs fictional characters?#(yes this is about submas. but also i just saw a post about doctor who where people cried over a character.#one of them implied it had been a long while since they'd seen the show and they were still bitter over that character's ending.#and it got me thinking.)#fandom #idk man im just thinking deep thoughts over fictional ppl #idk what im asking is. even if they're not real and their fate wont affect the real world. does that matter?#if it affects real people's psyches and thoughts and actions and moods. if it changes us over time like a friend we might have had really.#doesn't that mean that the grief is real? don't we learn from them? start mirroring them in small habits like we do real people?#does it matter that the blorbos from my shows aren't real?#personal #?#if anyone sees this i'd like to hear your thoughts on this #blorbo from my shows

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twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat · 3 months ago

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FIREFLIES NEVER CAME ; SATORU GOJO

synopsis; your seat is close to the heater. that’s the only reason gojo comes there to warm up.

word count; 4.2k

contents; satoru gojo/reader, gn!reader, teen!satoru, set in a canon au, mutual pining, fluff, a little bittersweet (melancholic winter vibes <3), introvert/extrovert, reader is antisocial and dense as a brick (black cat vibes :3), also kind of self-deprecating, satoru is very shoujo manga coded, just lots of puppy love!! feat. wingman!suguru <3

a/n; this wasn’t meant to be a fic …… it was gonna be really short and sweet ……… (T_T) anyway i am very fond of this reader/character dynamic so i hope you enjoy reading abt my emotionally stunted kids 🫶 biggest mwah in the world dedicated to professor logan (@staryukis) for teaching me about physics so i could find a loophole in satoru’s infinity :3c all for the sake of lore-accurate (kinda) fluff <3

”what are you listening to?”

your seat is close to the heater.

it was nothing but a lucky draw, really. yaga-sensei was organizing the desks when you transferred, and so he gave you the first choice; one you had no trouble making, latching on to the chair in the very back, right by the window, right by the sole heater of the room. vital for surviving your chilly winter classes.

so there you sit. a warmth sneaks through your fuzzy socks, tends to your restless legs. your feet tap and tap, on the cold floorboards, in rhythm with your never-ending thoughts, spinning like a planet in orbit.

through the fogged-up, frosted glass of the window to your left, you observe the world. headphones covering your ears, safe and snug, muffling all noise. you watch as snow falls, wholly entranced, eyes stuck on the icy snowflakes descending from the wool-gray sky — blanketing the frostbitten landscape of the courtyard. it’s pretty, all those skeletal trees, glittering and gleaming like they have something to say. sometimes they look like stars.

”… hey. did you hear me?”

gojo is being particularly chatty, today.

out of the corner of your eye, you see him wave his hand right in front of your face. you’re almost certain he doesn’t realize that it’s rude; he must be used to all eyes being on him, from the moment he speaks.

with a flutter of your lashes, you lift your weary head. meeting his gaze, the blurry shine of your own visage, reflected in his circle-frame glasses. a soft tilt of his head, and then his lips are twitching upwards, just barely, snowy strands gliding across his forehead and falling over his face. like an excited puppy.

”what are you listening to?”

you read the words off his lips, all sound muffled by your headphones. quick to lift one of your hands, pulling one of the heavy ear cushions away — letting all white noise in the room flood your senses. the snarls of the wind outside, ieiri’s laughter, the scribbling of geto’s pen against paper.

it’s overwhelming, but a small price to pay. his voice is softer than usual, during moments like these; there’s a pleasant lull to it.

gojo tips his head to the right, still awaiting your response. all you can do is stare, watching your own reflection, fingers gripping onto the edge of your desk. as if seeking to ground yourself.

with a spoonful of hesitance, you part your lips.

”… do you like music?”

the words seep out into the air, a softly exhaled breath. gojo watches you, silently, for just a moment.

then he gives you a shrug.

”i guess?” he hums, shifting his weight from one foot to another — hand slipping into the pocket of his uniform. ”that’s more suguru’s thing.”

ah.

your mouth forms around the syllable, as if responding, but not making any sound. gaze fleeing from his glasses, crumbling under their weight, straying towards the frosted window to your left. safe, familiar, rotting trees and twitching branches. snow just as pure as the boy in front of you.

silence overtakes you both, once more.

”... not gonna answer?” he asks, with another tilt of his head, absently rocking side to side as he lets out an exhale. ”is it a secret, or something?”

(it is, you think. but you can’t say it out loud.)

before you can part your lips again, the classroom door slides open — and you know it’s yaga-sensei just by the way his feet hit the floorboards, the decisive weight behind every step. you know even before he’s telling you to get back to your seats.

on cue, gojo stands up straighter, shooting you another glance. bright-eyed, easy-going, every star in the sky leaping out from the glimpse you get of his eyes when he angles his body. two blue pools, flecked with white, like frozen puddles in the street.

and then he’s strolling away.

gojo leaves, and you take off your headphones; stretching your legs underneath the desk. reaching for your ballpoint pencil, flipping open your textbook, and indulging in sleepy blinks, as yaga begins to drone on and on. you stifle a yawn with the sleeve of your blazer, resting your jaw on the heel of your palm. eyes inevitably straying towards a head of white hair.

but your name is called before you can get lost in your daydreams.

”page 27, from the top.”

your chair scrapes against the floorboards, as you sluggishly stand up. holding onto your textbook, flipping the pages until you land on the correct passage. with shaky hands, not enough to notice, you read out loud; voice controlled, almost monotone. all you can think is that you feel his frost-clad eyes on you, from the row straight ahead.

but you continue to speak. you speak until you reach the end of the page, until you’re allowed to take your seat again, happy to feel the warmth of the heater radiate against your legs. it’s this warmth that’s important, the most important thing of all.

without it, gojo wouldn’t bother to stop by your desk.

nearly every recess, as soon as yaga leaves the classroom, he’s waltzing over — leaning against the wall, stretching his arms out, purring contentedly as heat spreads throughout his body. you think he must run cold. chatting with you, just to pass the time, just until your teacher comes back. just to warm up.

then he’s leaving, again.

that’s all it is. a cold boy, and a heater by your desk — a conversation that otherwise wouldn’t have occured. even the strongest is vulnerable to changes in temperature, you suppose.

though if warmth is all that binds him to you, it’s bound to dwindle away.

(you’re sure he’ll stop as soon as spring comes.)

the next day, gojo is nowhere to be seen. you saw yaga-sensei drag him out of the classroom this morning; something about a clan meeting, something you weren’t paying attention to.

but now you wish you had.

(it’s quiet, without him around. eerily so.)

with nothing to lose, and nothing else to do — you push your chair away from your desk, and walk up to your classmate, a question on your mind.

”… music? are you looking for recommendations?”

you nod.

geto blinks. caught off guard, you’re sure, surprised that you’d approach him without any prior coaxing. he’s usually the one striking up a conversation with you, like a responsible class president, making sure the weird kid doesn’t feel left out. you’re almost certain he doesn’t realize that it’s patronizing.

”hmm... well, that depends.” he gives you a smile, soft around the edges. it never feels as genuine as gojo’s, but it’s calming. ”what kind of music do you usually listen to?”

…

you glance down at the floor. bundling up the cuffs of your uniform, fingers clawing softly at the fabric, bottom lip trapped between two sets of teeth.

”… what kind of music does gojo like?”

silence. your words are barely spoken, just above a whisper, just like always, but geto picks up on them anyway. you can tell he does, can feel the weight of his keen eyes on your face. analytical.

then he parts his lips.

”… ohhh.” a low hum, ripe with meaning, buzzing at the bottom of his throat. the corners of his lips quirk up into a knowing smile. ”i see.”

heat rushes to your cheeks, blossoms under your skin. if he notices, he’s even more composed than you thought he was, because he doesn’t mention it. only continues to speak, in that soothing voice, crossing his arms in silent thought.

”hmm…” you follow his gaze, out towards the window, the same webs of frost as always. it’s not snowing, but you still can’t see the blue of the sky. ”i’ve never seen him listen to music before, so i wouldn’t know.”

you can’t help but deflate, at that.

geto only smiles. exhaling, through his nose, mildly humoured — though he’s good at hiding his amusement. ”… what do you think that means?”

a blink. your lashes flutter, as you gaze up at him.

”… huh?”

”satoru doesn’t listen to music, but he wants to know what you’re listening to.” he says the words almost coachingly, like he’s listing off a string of numbers. you realize he must have been listening in on your conversation, but it doesn’t bother you nearly as much as his tone. ”what do you think that means?”

…

(you haven’t got a clue.)

geto lets out a chuckle, laced with mirth, no longer trying to hide it. paired with a soft shake of his head, a crinkle to the corners of his eyes. ”why do you want to know about his taste in music, then?”

(… that’s a good question.)

he seems to notice your hesitance, your apprehension, the way your teeth seek to trap your bottom lip; always the victim of your muddled mind. you know the answer, of course you do — but it isn’t something you want others knowing.

thankfully, geto breaks the silence for you.

”i don’t think you need to try so hard, when it comes to him.” his voice is soft, almost sincere, something warmer than usual. glancing away when you meet his eyes. ”… he isn’t worth the effort, anyway.”

but that’s where he’s wrong.

satoru gojo is a special case. a special person. in the orbit of your life, there’s no star you’d rather keep — no one quite as ripe with colour.

geto couldn’t possibly understand, because gojo is always with him — always orbiting around him. he always will, until you graduate, probably even beyond that. geto has him. they’re the strongest, a pair, always matching their steps to one another. but you only have these quiet days, these chilly classes in between never-ending missions — and that’s all.

when the frost outside the window thaws, gojo will surely stop visiting your desk. your lonely little world.

that’s exactly why — you need to find a song. if you just teach him about something wonderful enough, if you can give him something other than warmth…

(… maybe he’ll stay with you even after spring comes.)

”next time, why don’t you say what’s on your mind?”

geto’s suggestion breaks you out of your thoughts. when you raise your head, to meet the warm pools of amber in his eyes, he gives you a smile. there’s nothing patronizing about the way he’s looking at you now — if anything, you think it may even be slightly fond, but you can never tell what he’s actually feeling. he’s frightening, like that, always a mirror to his circumstances. a chameleon, tilting his head at you.

… though you can’t help but fall victim to the kindness in his eyes. the velveteen purr of his voice.

”i’m sure he’ll appreciate that.”

a nervous pit opens up in your chest, an empty space that gnaws incessantly at your heart. will he?, you want to ask, but it feels like the words are made out of lead. you can’t get them out of your throat.

”… okay,” is all you end up whispering, a soft lull of your tongue. ”i’ll try… thank you.”

geto rewards you with a full smile.

”don’t mention it.”

spring is closer than you thought.

it’s all you can think, when you step onto the pavement, when you feel the morning air gnaw at your frostbitten cheeks. it’s freezing, it’s winter, but the signs of changing seasons are still there — a lonesome snowdrop, the crackle of an icy puddle beneath your feet. the frost is beginning to thaw.

in a month or so, spring will be here — there’s no stopping it.

”did you bring your card?”

your headphones rest around your neck, allowing you to listen in on your classmates' conversation. all four of you are together, for once, all first-years, walking towards the nearest konbini — at gojo’s insistence.

it’s been a week since you had that talk with geto, but you still haven’t made any progress with him.

”huh? was i supposed to?”

”… are you kidding me?”

you glance up at the pair. always walking just a little bit ahead, their tall statures obscuring the view in front of you; shoko lags behind, with lazy steps, a trail of tobacco drifting out into the crispy air. all while snowflakes fall from the sky, gently, landing in your hair, on your shoulders, melting on the inside of your palm when you hold it out to catch them. watching as they turn into droplets of water, slip through the gaps between your fingers.

someone taps your shoulder.

geto has snowflakes stuck in his hair. they’re melting, in the strands of ink-black framing his face, matching the colour of the thick polo jacket he’s wearing. a bright red scarf is tied around his throat, and there’s a weighty look in his eyes — something telling.

a silent cue.

he falls back, slowly but surely, into ieiri’s lazy pace. not before murmuring something unintelligible to gojo, and shooting you a wink — one that makes you frown, confused, a low heat blooming at the base of your spine and crawling up your neck.

and then you realize what he’s done.

gojo is looking right at you, through the black glass of his specs. only wearing a baseball jacket, no gloves or scarves to keep him warm, despite the harsh bite of the open air. for a guy who runs cold, he must not put much thought into his clothing.

more importantly…

it’s just the two of you, now.

you blink at him, silent as a mouse. it only takes a moment for him to start moving, for you to follow, taking your place beside him while staring right ahead. if he’s bothered by geto slinking away, he doesn’t show it — only continues to walk.

”… that’s so unfair.”

gojo’s voice breaks the silence. you turn your head to gaze at him, the way his lips wrap around the vowels, haphazardly hanging onto every word he speaks.

”just ’cause i have clan money,” he kicks at a pebble on the side of the road, wisps of white hair swaying with a shake of his head, ”suguru thinks i should pay for our snacks. isn’t that unfair?”

you hesitate. then you nod along, absently.

he seems to take that as a yes, because it makes him brighten — as if gleaming with your approval, standing a little straighter, puffing out his chest with an exhale that turns into white smoke.

”right? they only give it to me because they want me to come back to kyoto, anyway…” he trails off, holding the tip of his tongue between his lips. ”… not that it matters. anyway, i just think he’s oppressive.”

”… mm.”

from this angle, you can see a sliver of his eyes. can see the way he steals a glance at you, without even turning his head — hands slipping into his pockets. there’s a moment of silence, until he’s parting his lips again.

”… i can buy some for you, though.”

(you barely pick up on the words, spoken almost in a whisper — as if an afterthought.)

he clears his throat.

”… if you don’t have the money, i mean.”

you can’t help but blink, at that — lashes fluttering in rapid succession, wondering if you heard him correctly. he doesn’t seem keen on elaborating, though. walking on, ignoring all snowflakes descending from the sky, eager to nuzzle in between his locks. his infinity keeps them out.

”… why?”

it’s all you can say. all you can verbalize.

(in a story like this, why would the brightest star of all orbit around someone like you?)

gojo gives you another glance. his iris cuts into your skin, observes you on what you’re sure must be a molecular level. he lets silence linger, for a moment, tipping his head back to look up at the sky.

gray, and more gray. flecks of white. you’d see the same thing he does.

”hmm…” he lets out a breath, head falling forward again, snowy strands ghosting against the skin of his forehead. ”let’s call it a trade.”

another series of blinks.

gojo turns towards you, then — a fresh grin blooming on his lips. white teeth, pink gums. it makes him look boyish, innocent, just another city boy with too much time on his hands.

”i buy you snacks — and you tell me what music you’re always listening to.” he bends his body forward, tilts his head at the same time, all lanky and charming, like a big cat. ”deal?”

you stay silent.

he’s looking at your headphones, still left neglected around your neck. your gaze falls down to the icy concrete, the thin layer of frost, waiting to be melted by the first sunrays of spring. whenever that will be.

geto and shoko are still behind you — you can hear their low, muffled chatter, smell the remnants of tobacco in the air. and you swear you can practically hear geto’s words, echoing through your head.

(why do you think that is?)

gojo is still looking at you. expectantly, lips curled up into a lazy smile. he’s waiting, you know he is, and you also know he isn’t very good at that. you know a lot of things — what you don’t know is what to say. you don’t know if you can believe in whatever geto was insinuating, don’t know if you can grapple with your own longing to do so.

(next time, why don’t you say what’s on your mind?)

geto doesn’t get it. he doesn’t know what your feelings towards gojo truly look like. doesn’t know that what’s on your mind when he’s around is always something horrifically embarrassing. something like, i want to know more about you, or maybe i wish i could tell you more about me. something awfully cheesy, like — i’m jealous of how bright you shine, but i can’t help but like you anyway.

if i become your friend, would it be okay to say i understand your loneliness? that i notice it, even just by a fraction?

would that be okay with you?

(words that should be left unspoken.)

”… well, it’s not like you have to.” gojo exhales, again, the words a heavy weight seeping past his throat. his shoulders slump, as he turns forward, fingers trailing up to scratch at the back of his neck.

all you can think is that he’s getting ready to leave. that nothing will change, at this rate, that spring will wash winter away. that geto should be more direct with his advice, and that if it’s not the music itself that gojo is interested in knowing more about, then surely —

” — i don’t listen to anything.”

gojo stills. the words have flown past your lips before you can reach out and grasp them, slicing through the open air.

he spins around, glasses slipping down the bridge of his nose at the sudden motion, exposing his widened eyes. those white lashes, fluttering softly, like a pair of doves eager to get above ground. you grip onto the insides of your pockets, warm and cozy against your freezing hands — it grounds you, keeps you tethered down to earth, down to him.

”music,” you continue, sputtering slightly, as if your lungs don’t quite know how to work under pressure. winter air seeps into your windpipe, cuts the skin there. ”i don’t listen to music.”

you lift your hands, fingers curling around the soft earmuffs wrapped around your neck, hesitantly meeting gojo’s gaze — an overlapping sequence, blanketing his view. then you’re gazing down.

”it’s just… comforting,” you try to explain, speaking softly. ”to wear them. white noise.. tires me out, so…”

the sentence trails off, unfinished. you feel silly. silly for saying anything at all, for building it up so much. silly for being the way that you are.

but when you look up at gojo, he’s brightened like a star.

white teeth, pink gums, that breathtakingly boyish grin. his blue eyes gleam with colour, almost spilling over the corners, like watercolour paint on a too-small canvas. he tilts his head, looking at you carefully, as if truly seeing you for the first time; absently swaying side to side.

if he had a tail, you’re sure it’d be wagging.

”i see!”

a silent breath spills into the air. your lips part, but no sound comes out, only vapour; heart pumping blood through your writhing veins, warming you up from the inside, a co-conspirator to the heat blooming in your cheeks. gojo continues to speak.

”i guess that counts,” he nods, crossing his arms with a satisfied hum. ”alright. i’ll get you any snacks you want! you can be greedy, it’s okay.”

a murmur of thanks escapes you, although you’d like to tell him there’s no need. something tells you denying him this would be like taking another step backwards, in this budding connection between you.

(… if you can even call it that.)

geto and ieiri catch up to your unmoving figures, finally, and only then does gojo spin on his heel and pick up his previous pace. calling back to you over his shoulder, a smile you can’t see but still hear.

”just don’t give any of it to those two, yeah?”

”cheapskate,” ieiri calls back, lone cigarette hanging between her lips. geto lets out something like a chuckle, his shoulder brushing up against yours.

you watch gojo’s back as he moves forward. unbothered, untethered. you think of him a snowflake in the breeze.

spring is almost here, now. it’s a bittersweet feeling, to know your conversations during recess will surely dwindle out — but at least you’ll have had this. one normal conversation, the knowledge that he was curious about you, even if you may just be the classmate by the heater in his eyes.

you’re too cold to keep him warm all on your own, so there’s no helping it. you’re willing to accept that some stars only show from the surface during winter.

you’re willing to accept this. it aches, a little, but you’ll be okay.

”i’ll take it things went well, then?”

geto is wearing his signature smile, when you look up at him. an expression of carefully concealed composure, lips curled up, but a knowing look in his eyes — something that borders on teasing.

you give him a nod, a bow of your head, to silently convey your appreciation. chameleon or not, you don’t really mind his ways. it’s hard to fake the warmth in his voice, when he speaks.

”i’m glad.”

the two of you watch gojo’s back, like birds gazing out at a body of water. silence lingers.

”won’t that moron get cold?”

ieiri’s voice cuts through the mold of your mind, low and gravelly, right beside you. she’s pointing towards gojo — the flimsy jacket he’s wearing.

you’re wondering the same thing.

geto casts her a glance over your head, before gazing down at you, seemingly noticing your curiosity. he lets out a low hum; reaching a hand out to brush away the snowflakes on his shoulders.

”temperature,” he begins, slipping his hands into his pockets; that familiar coaching tone to his voice, purposefully slow. ”is just a measure of atoms in rapid motion.”

you tilt your head, in tandem with ieiri — looking to your classmate for further elaboration. he seems to enjoy your confusion, lips curling up just a bit. gojo calls out to you, in the distance, waving both his hands, and geto returns it with a wave of his own.

an amber eye flicks towards you, an explanation on his tongue. ”his infinity can regulate that motion.”

… another tilt of your head.

geto lets out an amused breath. it scatters out into the air, a cloud of smoke, almost a chuckle.

”basically…” he sighs. ”he does just fine, in the cold. don’t worry about it. he’ll keep himself warm.”

ieiri mutters something, beneath her breath, something like you could have just said no, but you don’t really hear it. you think your heart must have climbed up, somehow; got caught in your windpipe.

ah.

gojo can keep himself warm.

the thought spins inside your mind, over and over, a realization that makes your inner palms feel clammy. stupid, silly, this pitter-patter of your heartbeat. but what else could it mean? if the cold doesn’t bother him, if he doesn’t run cold, then…

(he wouldn’t need it. he wouldn’t need it here, wouldn’t need it during recess, within the chilly walls of your classroom. he wouldn’t need it to stay warm.

gojo isn’t after your heater. if that’s true, then…)

…

you bury your nose in the soft wool of your scarf. breathing in the fading scent, vanilla and cinnamon, grounding you to earth, lingering in your nostrils. distracting you from the rush of warmth, that blooms in the frostbitten apples of your cheeks.

as if sensing your thoughts, or maybe just noticing your embarrassed expression, geto laughs — soft and breathy, shoulders shaking to your left. you hear it, only nuzzling deeper into the comfort of your scarf. feeling your heartbeat spin out of orbit.

in the distance, gojo continues to wave, yelling out something unintelligible. you could mistake him for a star.

spring is almost here, now. in just a month or so, it’ll be at your doorstep — waltzing right in.

(but you aren’t worried.)

#gojo x reader #gojo x you #gojo x y/n #gojo satoru x reader #jjk x reader #jjk x you #gojo fluff #jjk fluff

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kentopedia · 11 months ago

Text

nanami kento, who hates dating, and didn’t do much of it in his early twenties. but now, he’s almost thirty, watching all the people he works with settle down, have kids, and he thinks he wants that. so he might as well try.

so satoru sets him up on a few dates — friends of friends, he calls them. and at the end of every one of the dinners, kento goes home empty, exhausted, because he knows what they want is not the same.

still; he thinks maybe he’s being a little self-destructive, maybe too picky, maybe he just got so used to being alone. with satoru’s insistence, he gives all the women another call, invites them over to his apartment.

the first time was a disaster… kento had barely set the dinner on the table before his cat had hissed at her, scratched her down the arm in a thin gash. and though it did draw blood, it was hardly enough to warrant that reaction.

he didn’t even try to stop her as she picked up her bag and left, huffing like she’d been morally offend. kento, though, could only smile to himself in amusement.

because maybe kento was a poor judge of character, a man who was secretly hoping nothing would pan out — but his cat could certainly tell the good from the bad.

it became a little game to him, after that. seeing if anyone could win his pet over, and if they could, perhaps they were the one. his darling animal was a fickle thing anyway. a bit too defensive, quick to bite anything threatening after years on the streets.

naturally, no one came back twice.

he was close to giving up, accepting his solitude because he was tired of empty conversations over dinner. but then, he ventured out over the weekend to a new coffee shop, during hours he normally didn’t spend out of his home, and met you.

though you only talked for a moment, kento felt like maybe he’d known you in a past life. a part of him thought maybe it was strange, the way he kept coming back to talk to you, catching you at the end of your shift to see if you wanted to grab a coffee sometime.

by the second date, kento started to think you could turn out to be his best friend.

by the third date, kento wondered if soulmates were real.

on the fourth date, almost two months later, an appropriate time to get to know someone when you were as reserved as kento, he invited you over for dinner. it was, perhaps, the final confirmation he needed to let himself be with you.

he let you through the door, smiling softly as you told him about the book you were reading, and hung his coat on the rack. a moment later, you stopped, distracted, hands covering your mouth in a gasp.

“kento! she’s the cutest cat i’ve ever seen, you didn’t even show me pictures!” you exclaim, and, a few feet away, crouched down. “look at her pretty eyes…”

“careful,” kento said, “she’s not very—“

but the cat approached your outstretched hand, sniffed once, before letting you scratch her under her chin, purring loud enough for kento to hear across the room.

“shes such a sweetheart, you told me she was mean!” you smiled, making a cooing noise as you threaded your fingers through her fur. “kento’s a liar, isn’t he… you’re so precious.”

a few moments later, she snapped her jaw at you in a biting motion, and you only laughed, withdrawing your hand. “alright, i get it, i won’t bother you anymore.”

though she still brushed against your legs, just as she did kento’s, and seemed to communicate some sort of message to him.

“do you want any help cooking?” you ask, tucking your hair behind your ears. “i’m a disaster in the kitchen, but—“

“sure,” kento said, his chest tightening as he blinked back at you, only in his apartment for minutes and already looking as at home there. he wondered if it was possible to fall in love so quickly. “but only if you want to.”

#this is very silly #i just wanted to get it out of my drafts #i’ve had this thought for a while but #i decided i didn’t want to write a whole drabble so now you get this #kento being inexperienced at dating & not enjoying it is very special to me #and so is him having a cat tehe #selfship coded i suppose bc reader is me but it’s not that obvious i hope #kento 💋 ⋆ ˚｡⋆#nanami x reader #xoxo rylie 💌 ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆#jjk x reader #nanami x you #nanami fluff #nanami x gender neutral reader #xoxo rylie 💌 ⋆ ˚｡⋆

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sincerelyneo · 8 months ago

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could i request a mark smut 😣😣 where reader and mark just had an intense argument but in the end, they cant be mad at each other for long so they just fck it out of each other 🤐🤐🤐🤐

mad at you | l.mk

“then i try to leave, but baby i just can’t stay mad at you”

💿now playing: mad at you by why don’t we

❯ summary: Mark learns that you’ve made a ‘selfish’ decision that’s bound to put a strain on your relationship. Next thing you know, you're knee-deep in an argument that somehow ends with you sprawled out beneath him; because, let’s be honest, he’s never really been any good at staying mad at you.

❯ pairings: idol!mark x fem!reader

❯ genre: angst, smut, established relationship, make up sex

❯ words: 4.3k

❯ tags: 18+ minors dni!, lots of arguing, swearing, reader is lowkey dramatic, makeup sex, unprotected sex (don't do this!), nipple play, dry humping, brief clit play, slight needy mark bc i can't help myself, creampie, reader uses she/her pronouns, reader and mark argue and resolve it by fucking.

an: i love writing angsty arguments (testament to my real relationships lol) so thank you so much for this request. it lowkey brought me out of writer’s block.

The honeymoon stage lasts approximately thirty months or two and a half years – which would make sense considering you and Mark were approaching your third year together and have argued more recently than you ever had.

But this time it’s different. You’ve never seen Mark like this, so angry that his face is bordering red and his jaw ticks so hard it might crack as the both of you drive in complete silence from your work dinner. He doesn’t even bother sneaking his usual glances at you when he pulls up at stoplights, the hand he likes to place on your thigh is gripping the wheel instead, and the only noise in the car is his rugged and frustrated exhales.

You could feign ignorance about why he's upset, but you know the reason all too well. And while a part of you acknowledges his right to be angry, another, more prideful part, resists the idea of apologising, especially when you think his reaction seems so disproportionate to your mistake.

So you sit in the passenger seat, arms crossed and body frozen, contributing to the cold silence settling between the two of you. You prepare yourself for the earful of a lecture you’re about to get when he pulls up outside your shared apartment.

He parks the car, slams the door shut, and strides towards your building without a backward glance. You scoff at his pettiness; he's never been so angry that he wouldn't at least wait for you to get out of the car with him. He doesn't even slow down when you trail behind. And when he nearly lets the elevator doors close without you, any chance he has of receiving an apology from you flies out the window, you think.

He does, however, show some decency by leaving the front door open for you as you both step out of the elevator and head towards your apartment – how chivalrous.

The chivalry doesn’t last long because the minute he hears you clasp the door shut, he’s glaring at you, arms crossed tightly over his chest, and you can't help but notice that he's rolled up the sleeves of his dress shirt in frustration. If he weren't on the brink of yelling at you, you'd be tempted to make him do more than just roll up those sleeves — you'd want the fabric torn off and thrown on the floor in an instant.

“Paris, Y/N?!” Mark seethes, voice deep and uneven. “You signed a fucking contract to work in Paris?!?”

You pause, attempting to gather your thoughts, but the momentary silence doesn't offer much clarity. Eventually, you settle on, "It's just a six-month gig..." – a statement that seems to send him into a frenzy.

“Just six months?” He rubs his jaw repeatedly in disbelief, “That’s six months that we won’t get to see each other, did you even think about that huh?”

You scoff, “You’re one to talk, need I remind you that your job takes you away from me for months at a time.”

"That's not fair," he protests. "You knew exactly what you were getting into when you agreed to date me. I didn’t agree to not seeing my girlfriend for months because she’s gallivanting away in Paris without me."

Your eyes narrow and your nostrils flare, “So what? If you would have known, you wouldn’t have wanted to be my boyfriend?”

His eyes widen and he shakes his head. His hands fly to his hair and he tugs at the strands as he huffs out a breath.

“How the fuck did you get that conclusion from what I said?” He asks, voice sounding baffled. “The reason I’m so mad is because I like being your boyfriend, but I’m not going to see you for the next six months.”

“You’re being a hypocrite right now.”

He rolls his eyes and scoffs, “Right, because I’m always the one being unreasonable.”

“Yes, you are,” you scorn, “This job is my dream, don’t you see how selfish you're being?”

“I’m selfish?” He gasps, “That’s rich considering you didn’t even consult me when making this decision, I had to find out from your smug little co-worker in front of everyone. You were thinking solely about yourself, Y/N.”

You're on the verge of screaming. How is he not seeing things from your perspective? He's usually so understanding, so open to hearing your side. But the razor-sharp look in his eyes tells you that there's no getting through to him. He's convinced you're wrong, and nothing will change his mind.

“It’s for my job, Mark,” you cross your arms and shrug.

“And how many times have I told you that you don’t need to work? How many times do I need to tell you I can look after the both of us?”

“And how many times have I told you that I don’t want that? I don’t want to have to always rely on you!” You snap.

Your teeth grit as the words spit out of your mouth. They seem to hit Mark, deep, his eyes softening for a fleeting moment before sharpening again. He swallows thickly and blinks before running a hand through his hair.

“Then what are we doing, Y/N?” He asks deflated, “What are we if you don’t want to rely on me?”

You're not sure what compels you to say it – whether it's the way you're all worked up, the entire context of the argument, or some inner recognition that you're the one who's fucked up this time despite you both having stuff to apologise for. Still, you escalate the situation from zero to one hundred without a second thought.

“Oh, so you want to break up?”

He shakes his head and tongues the inside of his cheek, “When did I say that?!”

The fight only gets worse after that, the two of you blowing up after every sentence. You run around in circles, throwing accusations and insults at each other to the point the original premise of the argument is lost along the way of a thousand new arguments. It’s like every little thing you’ve both done to irk each other over the last month is brought up; and by the end of it, the two of you swear you’re done with each other.

Sure, you've had your fair share of arguments, but the biting finality of the word "done" as it leaves his lips sends a sharp pang through your stomach – it hurts like hell. You've reached your limit with this endless cycle of back-and-forth; you've had enough of him. Storming past him, you head towards your shared bedroom.

Mark sighs and reaches out for your arm, but you pull away. He doesn't like this, doesn't like the chilliness he feels from you. He doesn't want to end the argument like this; it's never gone this far without a resolution before.

“You can’t just storm away when we argue Y/N, it’s childish.”

“If you don’t like it then leave!” You slam the door shut after you and lock it.

Mark hates this more, not being able to talk this out because you’ve put a wall between the two of you. Then your words register in his mind and he’s the most hurt he’s ever felt. You want him to leave. Fuck that, he thinks. He’s not going to watch his relationship go down the drain over a petty argument.

He knocks on the door a few times, then jiggles the doorknob, calling out your name and pleading for you to let him in. But you remain unmoved, denying him even the satisfaction of hearing your voice telling him to go away. This only adds to his frustration. He's the one you've upset, and yet here he is, begging for you to open up so he can fix things.

After a few more tries he scoffs, your words echoing in his mind once more. Leave. It crosses his mind as he makes his way to the front door of the apartment. He swings it open, ready to clear his head and crash at Johnny's for the night. But just as he's about to step out, he catches sight of a picture of the two of you on the coffee table where he keeps his keys.

It’s from your honeymoon phase when it was easier for the two of you to say you’d never let anything come between you – when love seemed to blind you both. Mark picks up the photo, memories flooding back to the day it was taken. It was the day you met his parents and shared your aspirations of becoming a fashion designer. You reassured them that you had your own dreams and weren't just with their son for his wealth – though his parents wouldn't have minded either way; they would have been content with any girl that made their son happy. And you made Mark happy – you make Mark so fucking happy.

Which is why he can’t believe he’s even considering leaving you in this apartment on your own after a fight. He shuts the front door and makes his way to the couch. He's eager to resolve things with you now, but both of you are too caught up in emotions, spouting shit you'll likely regret in the morning. So he opts to grab a few sofa pillows and a blanket from the storage closet instead. He strips down from his dress shirt and pants, throwing them to the floor before lying back and resting his eyes with a heavy mind.

Regret doesn't hit you until 2:00 am the following morning, when you're met with the chill of an empty space beside you as you reach out to cuddle your boyfriend, only to find him absent. Sure you thought he was overreacting to the news, but you're also painfully aware that your own words were uncalled for. You shouldn’t have asked him to leave – you didn’t want him to.

As you heard the front door open and then close with a clink, a thick lump formed in your throat. The realisation that you had driven him away hit you hard, and you lost all motivation. You lay on your bed, makeup still intact, as you sniffled and sobbed quietly into your pillow. And even now, after tossing and turning from your mind running laps, you’d only managed to sleep for a few minutes.

You stretch your stiff legs and reluctantly leave your bed, unlocking your bedroom door with sleepy eyes. You're taken aback when you see Mark sleeping soundly on the sofa, his breath steady with his eyes closed. You thought he had left, but there he is, covered only by the blanket from the storage closet. It breaks your heart to see him like this; he's likely cold, and he'll probably have a stiff neck in the morning for practice. And you know it's all your fault.

The guilt eats away at you, and without hesitation, you rush to the bedroom to grab his pillows and an extra blanket. Realistically, you should wake him up and insist he sleeps in bed, but the fear of his lingering anger keeps you from doing so. Instead, you kneel in front of him, attempting to swap the sofa pillows for his own bed pillows.

However, your efforts prove futile because Mark is a light sleeper – a detail you foolishly overlooked in your worried state of mind. He blinks as he wakes up once, then twice, appearing confused to find you in front of him in the living room instead of beside him in bed.

“Baby?” He whispers, his eyes hazy as he tries to make sense of what you're doing. It doesn’t take him long once he spots the sofa cushion in your hand to put the pieces together.

You bite your lip and sigh, “I know you're mad at me, but I didn’t want you to wake up stiff in the morning.”

Mark's chest constricts. How could he possibly stay mad at you when you're so cute, fussing over him like this? He notices the smudge of black makeup beneath your eye, and his heart tightens once more – this time with sadness rather than affection.

His hand reaches out to touch your cheek, and you’re shocked at the touch. “You’ve been crying?” He asks and you bow your head.

"I thought you left..."

Mark wants to laugh at the irony. You asked him to leave, and yet here you are, upset at the idea of his departure. He swears if he weren't so in love with you, he'd rant about how much you mess with his head, pushing him to the edge only to pull him back again.

“Would never leave you, baby, you know that,” his voice is soft and comforting as the rough edge of his fingertips finds your jaw.

You can't control it; tears fall freely from your eyes. He's being incredibly considerate and gentle with you, even after you acted like a bitch. Honestly, you almost wish he'd just yell at you instead. But he doesn’t, his eyes widen and he immediately sits up straight letting the blanket fall to the floor as he pulls you up to sit on his lap.

He shushes you, his hands finding your waist where he rubs soothing soft circles into the fabric of your tank top, “Hey, why are you crying? I’m here…please don’t get upset, Y/N.”

His kindness only amplifies your guilt.

"I'm so sorry," you stifle in short sobs, your voice almost cracking. "I should've talked to you about the job offer before signing the contract... I-I didn't mean to act so selfishly. I just... I wasn't thinking."

Mark gives you a half-smile as he runs a hand through your hair. "It's okay, baby... You got caught up in your dream. I'm sorry for not realising that. I'm the one being selfish by always expecting you to put me first."

"No—"

He interrupts you to continue his apology. "You were right, you know. I always expect you to wait for me while I'm on tour. I never considered it from the other side, with me waiting for you... But I will. I'll wait because I know how much this job means to you."

Your face buries itself in the crook of his neck as you cry even harder, and he tuts gently while rubbing your back.

"Please don’t cry, Y/N," he murmurs softly. "I hate seeing you upset."

"Can’t help it," you muffle. "I hate that I upset you…"

Mark pulls you away from his neck, needing to look into your eyes as he speaks. "It's normal for couples to argue, baby. We just need to promise to communicate better, okay?"

His fingers stroke your cheeks again, and you lean into his touch. The warmth of his hand feels so comforting as if he was made to soothe your skin, the only person capable of bringing you relief. You bite your lip and nod against his palm, because you're more than willing to work on your communication if it means never feeling like this again.

"Now, give me a smile. You know, the pretty one I like," he says with a laugh. "If I'm not going to see you for the next six months, I don’t want one of our last moments together to be so... sad."

You smile at him and press your forehead against his with a whisper. "Me neither.”

You’re so close to each other that you’re practically sharing the same breath, if you had said that two hours ago you wouldn’t have believed yourself. But here you are, lips so close that your heavy breathing practically begs him to kiss you.

Mark feels it too, so when he does, it's like the softness of his lips is a bandage, mending the angry tension between the two of you. It patches up the last few hours that have transpired, and when he pulls away, it feels as if nothing even happened.

His hands grip your hips firmly, his fingers pressing down as he guides your body to grind against his clothed crotch. His lips find yours again, accompanied by a groan that escapes into your mouth. It's only when you feel him harden beneath you that you remember he was half-naked on the sofa – clearly after you locked him out of the bedroom.

Suddenly feeling suffocated by your own clothes, you pull away from him to strip off your tank top, tossing it over your head before discarding it somewhere in the living room. You yearn to meet his lips again – the only place you truly feel safe – but Mark wants to savour the way you look. Your clothed cunt eagerly grinding against his hard-on, hips chasing a high so eagerly that your bra strap has slid loosely down your arm.

You're a vision, Mark thinks, one that has him salivating and desperate to fuck you. He almost curses at himself for nearly ruining it all, for nearly walking out on the most beautiful person on the planet, the best sex he's ever had – and not only that but also the funniest, sweetest person he knows he'll ever meet.

He leans into your neck, his nose nuzzling into you as he whispers softly, "I'm sorry... so sorry, Y/N." His hand leaves your hips to cup your breast over your bra, massaging the mound with just enough pressure to elicit soft moans from your lips.

“‘s okay,” you whimper.

Your head falls back as his hand snakes around to unclasp it. He wastes no time brushing his intrusive fingers down your chest, wearing a filthy smirk because he knows just how sensitive you are there. The tip of his finger circles around your nipple until he’s right in the centre, feeling it harden under his touch. He pinches it, and you jolt forward on his cock, making his boxers tighten, and he groans.

He loves how responsive you were to him, watching you writhe over him as he touched you in torturous pleasure. Just the way you arch your back into his touch has pre-cum leaking out of his cock.

He leans in this time, sucking on your nipple and opening wide to get as much of the tender tissue of your breast in his mouth as possible. He holds your waist in place to keep you grinding on him to entice enough friction for him to feel good too.

And when he looks down to see where the two of you meet, he moans when he sees the wet patch leaking through your shorts onto his boxers.

“Fuck, so wet for me, baby. Just for me.”

You whimper, and his hand slips into the hem of your shorts. You’re glad you never wear panties to bed because his fingers find your clit immediately, relieving you of some of the neediness you’ve been feeling from grinding down on him. He rubs small circles as his mouth licks and sucks and nips at your bud.

“Mark…”

“Shhh baby,” he coos, “wanna make it up to you. Please let me make it up to you, let me make you feel good.”

You whimper with a nod of your head, humping into his hand, legs opening wider to give him easier access to the place you’re most sensitive. You let out mild pants, hips bucking more aggressively from the stimulation on both your nipple and clit.

And when Mark notices you getting close, he pulls off your tit to look up at your face. It’s his favourite part — watching your features contort when the bliss is at its highest. It makes his chest swell with pride knowing he’s the one making you cum, knowing his touch is enough to make you shake and moan. And if he wasn’t such a selfish lover, he’d think the sight is something everyone should see at least once.

As you come down from your orgasm, your eyes flutter open to meet him. Mark doesn’t know whether it’s from seeing your orgasm paired with the argument from earlier but he’s the hardest he’s ever been.

You notice it too, looking down and giggling. “Now it’s my turn to make it up to you.”

He lets out a soft huff, and a muscle in his jaw twitches with his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat before he nods. You free his cock from his boxers and shimmy yourself out of your shorts. You let out identical gasps when your bare cunt brushes against the tip of his cock.

Slowly, you sink onto him, fully feeling him inside of you. Your head falls forward, your forehead resting against his shoulder as you take in the size of him, the way he fills you just right — the way he always does.

The stretch as you take him in never gets old, eliciting the same whimpers and whines. You can feel his hands resting on your hips, then slipping to the bend of your waist, silently urging you to move as he presses you downwards.

You lift your hips, slow and steady as you let the sensations wash over you, drawing a low groan from deep in his chest. His grip on your body tightens as you sink back down, blunt nails digging into your skin. The sounds he makes only drive you further into finding a teasing rhythm because his voice is just so pretty. The sounds are soon muffled to your disappointment when his mouth presses into your skin, so his tongue can slide along the top of your breast — making the disappointment fade away real quick.

You let out a breathy cry, hands rising from where they’ve been resting, flattening against his chest, to wrap around his shoulders. The slow pace you’d adopted was becoming not enough. And you could tell from the way Mark is rutting his hips up to meet you, he shares the same sentiment.

Your mouths collide as you pick up the pace, using his shoulders to leverage yourself as you bounce up and down on his cock. When he breaks from the kiss, an unrestrained groan slips past his lips, low and rough, followed by another, and you have to bite back a whimper of your own.

Mark can’t help the noises, he just loves the way you swivel your hips in a way that makes him see stars. He loves watching you work yourself on him for pleasure – he loves when you ride him.

And right when you squeeze around him, he rewards you with a loud, obscene groan, a sound that makes you dizzy and limp. Everything about Mark is intoxicating and downright addicting, and you were in no hurry to kick that addiction. In fact, you craved more of it – needed more.

You grab his hands and guide them across your body. He squeezes them at your hips, smoothing across your thighs, your stomach. His hands were everywhere, eyes dark and desperate, wordlessly begging for you to give him what he needed, the same thing he’d been kind enough to already give you.

So you rock yourself forward, providing a new type of friction that makes you whine helplessly into his skin. Blunt nails mark into the plush of your thighs, a futile attempt at grounding himself. The upward thrust of his hips and the strained catch of his breath tells you that he's growing impatient. You know the pace was slow, but damn it, it felt so fucking good to feel him like this, every inch of him sliding into you, hitting all the spots that makes your brain stop working. It also felt like a sick little way to get revenge...

“Faster,” you hear him say. “Please baby, need it faster.”

You could feel his hips bucking up to meet you. Then his thumb finds your clit, working in circles and making you squeeze around him with a shrill, gasping cry. It was his attempt at bargaining with you, doing anything to make you speed up and shamelessly fuck yourself on his cock. Maybe if he pleases you, you’ll let him cum.

“Please fuck me properly baby, need it,” he rasps, “You want me to forgive you right?”

And then you remember what led you here in the first place. You’d upset him and now you’re teasing him – you suppose it’s only fair if you pick up the pace a little more, fuck him messily and desperately enough to have him dizzying towards his climax.

And once you do, his thrusts grow sloppier, and your thighs start aching. It feels too fucking good so all that you can do is cling to him and let him take the lead, strong hands guiding you as he sucks against your neck. And even though you’re supposed to be the one making him cum, you find yourself buried in the crook of his neck, gasping as your walls clench and nails dig into the skin of his strong back.

The slight stinging sensation is enough to work Mark over the edge, and you feel him twitch inside of you, sending shock waves up your spine as he fucks his cum inside of you with a final powerful thrust. You roll your hips to help him along, taking all you can get from him and he moans his appreciation as you do.

You remain tangled up in one another as you come down from your respective highs with foreheads pressed close. You wrestle to find his hand, lacing your fingers with his as he rubs his thumb over your knuckles. He kisses your nose, then your lips, with a tenderness that makes your heart feel like it’s being squeezed.

You don’t want to move just yet, so you release your hands and wrap them around his neck, nuzzling your nose against his before you speak.

"Mark?" You mumble, your voice tired and hazy. He hums in response.

"I’m sorry," you say softly.

You feel his smile against your mouth before he kisses your lips. "It’s okay, baby. I don’t even remember what we were fighting for."

#🏷frompaige #mark lee smut #nct dream smut #nct 127 smut #nct smut #mark lee x reader #nct dream x reader #nct 127 x reader #nct x reader #kpop smut #nct hard hours #nct oneshot

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sleepingdiaryzzz · 30 days ago

Text

Yandere batfamily x neglected reader

From the moment you were ten, you had sought their attention like a moth drawn to a flame. But the flame was always too hot, always too far away, and with every desperate attempt to get close, they burned you. You had been a shadow in their world, hovering at the edges of their lives, wanting, needing. Needing. That word, so simple, yet it had been the curse of your existence. You needed them. You needed their time, their care, their love. But they never saw you, never acknowledged the pit of loneliness that gnawed at you every time you begged to be included.

They had brushed you aside, every single time.

The family, your family, was never really yours.

It started when you were just a kid. “Not now, kid,” they would say. Or “Go play somewhere else.” Every time you tried to insert yourself into their lives, they shoved you away, like a toy they’d grown tired of. They didn’t need you. Not when there were bigger things at stake. Not when Gotham was drowning in its own darkness, when the Batcave was filled with the hum of machinery and the rush of adrenaline.

You were just a distraction.

You were nothing.

The words didn’t change as you grew older. They only got sharper.

When you were twelve, you tried again—this time with more subtlety. You offered to help, to be something, anything that would make them notice you. I can be useful, I promise. But no. No, they couldn’t have you tagging along. Not when there were more important things to do, more important people to be with. You were only a child.

By the time you turned fifteen, the bitter reality had set in. You weren’t wanted. You weren’t needed. They were a family—their family—and you? You were the outcast, the inconvenience they only tolerated because they had no choice. They didn’t want you, but they had to keep you around. The occasional glance from Tim, a brief acknowledgment from Dick—enough to keep the illusion of familial love alive, but never enough to make you feel like you mattered.

It wasn’t just Bruce anymore. He had become an empty figure in your life, a distant authority figure who only spoke when there was something to be done. Do this. Do that. Don’t ask questions. That was how you learned to live under his roof—like a shadow. Like a nothing.

There were moments when you thought you might be able to break through. When you thought maybe—just maybe—they would see you for who you were, someone who could stand beside them, shoulder to shoulder, not as a burden but as a part of the family.

But those moments were fleeting. They were crumbs, pieces of hope that you clung to like a starving animal, only for them to be yanked away, leaving you empty once again.

By the time you turned sixteen, you no longer asked. No longer begged. You had learned that your needs were nothing but noise to them. So, you stayed quiet, retreating into the corners of their lives. You were there, but invisible. A ghost that haunted the edges of their family but was never invited to sit at the table.

But it wasn’t just the coldness that broke you. No. It was the sharpness of their words.

The day it all ended—the day your last shred of hope died—had come like a storm.

You were seventeen when you finally broke. You had asked, yet again, for something so simple. You wanted to hang out, to spend the evening together, just for once. No work. No patrols. Just them. Just family. But Dick—always so perfect, so composed—snapped.

“Stop nagging, goddammit!” His voice was low, but the venom was there. The venom that cut deeper than any blade. “I don’t have time for this. You’re not a kid anymore. You should know better.”

And it was in that moment, when the words hit you like fists to your chest, that you knew. It was over. They will never care about you.

No more pleading. No more silence. You were done.

You wanted to scream, to break down and tell him how it felt to always be ignored, to always be pushed aside. But you didn’t. You couldn’t. All you could do was stare at him, the person you had once looked up to, the brother who had made you feel like you belonged. And now? Now he hated you. He resented you. You were just a thorn in his side, something he couldn’t wait to get rid of.

The Batfamily didn’t need you. They didn’t even want you. You were just a memory in the background of their perfect little world.

And so, you left.

You packed your things and left Gotham without a second thought. You didn’t care anymore. You didn’t care about them. You didn’t care about the lies you had told yourself for years, that someday they would come to love you. No. You were done.

You found a small apartment in a city far, far away. The rent was cheap. The food was okay. It didn’t matter. For the first time in years, you felt a strange kind of peace. No more begging. No more hoping for something that was never going to come.

But the peace didn’t last long. It never does.

Months passed, and the Batfamily went on without you. It wasn’t like you expected them to notice, but they did. They always did.

It started slowly at first. A message from Bruce, terse and businesslike, asking how you were. A phone call from Dick, his voice hesitant, full of uncertainty. Tim sent an email—just a few lines, but still. He’d written “We miss you.”

You didn’t respond. The first few days, you let it sit there, those words ringing in your ears. We miss you. The words came so easily now, but where had they been all those years? You stared at the screen, a hollow laugh escaping your lips. Miss you? They had pushed you aside when you needed them most. They had ignored you, told you to shut up, told you to go away.

Now they missed you?

You threw your phone across the room and sat down, gripping your hair, letting the quiet take you over.

It wasn’t until the second month that they started to call. At first, it was Tim—his voice softer than it had been in years, like a penitent ghost, when he called you.

“Please… just talk to us. We’re… we’re worried about you.”

You didn’t pick up.

Then, Dick. His voice cracked when he asked if you were okay. Just talk to us. How many times had you told them that? How many times had you begged? And now, they were begging you? You felt the rage swell inside you, the bitterness of those years threatening to break you apart.

And that was when they came.

It wasn’t just a phone call. It wasn’t just messages anymore. They came looking for you.

Nightwing was the first. He showed up at your door, standing there in his familiar suit, but his smile was tight, his eyes uncertain.

“Please,” he said, voice barely above a whisper. “We just want to talk.”

You stared at him, the same person who had once smiled at you like you meant the world to him. And now? Now he looked like a stranger. Someone who didn’t know who you were. And maybe, in a way, he didn’t.

“Why?” you asked, your voice rough from months of silence. “Why now? Where were you when I needed you?”

The guilt in his eyes only deepened. “We were wrong,” he said, the words fragile, like he was afraid they would break if spoken too loudly. “We… we miss you.”

The anger rose in your chest. They missed you?

The words sounded so hollow. What good was their love now?

They all came. One by one, each member of the family arrived at your door, apologizing, begging for forgiveness, for your attention, your love.

But it was too late.

They had pushed you away for too long, and now you could feel it: the suffocating weight of their regret, the twisting hunger of their need.

They needed you. They needed you so badly. They would never let you go again.

It wasn’t just about family anymore. It wasn’t just about reconciliation. Now, it was about possession.

And the family would do whatever it took to keep you close—no matter the cost.

Gotham had never felt farther away, yet the shadows of the family loomed larger than ever.

You weren’t sure if you were ready to go back, to reopen that door. But deep down, you knew one thing.

They would never let you leave again.

And now?

Now, they were willing to do anything to make sure of it.

(A/n: no part 2 becuz it's a one shot 😸)

#yandere batfam #yandere dc #yandere batfamily #yandere batfam x reader #yandere batfamily x reader #yandere batman #batfam x reader #yandere batman x reader #batfamily x reader #😹- drabble

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purple-plum-petals · 1 month ago

Note

Hi! Is it okay if I ask for another homicipher fic? I just got all the endings, and I'm obsessed. What about Scarletta trying to be physically affectionate with MC after seeing how protective Mr. Crawling is with them (perhaps even secretly peeking/knowing how often the crawling man hugged you, you two petting or shaking each other's heads, and using the word "cute" on each other.) I need Scarletta jealous 🫣

⊱ Blood-stained Lips ⊰ || Mr. Scarletella X Reader

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Character(s): Mr. Scarletella (Homicipher/文字化化) Reader Type: Human (Gender-Neutral Pronouns) Warning(s): Spoilers for Homicipher (MC’s Lore and Specifically Scarletella Rain Ending), Canon-typical Mentions of Violence (and Horror Elements), Mild Jealousy, Slightly Suggestive. Anything spoken in the other world’s language will be bolded. Genre: Drabble, Light Angst (Hurt/Comfort), Pre-established Romantic Relationship (It’s Complicated, honestly). Word Count: ~2,140 words Request: “Hi! Is it okay if I ask for another homicipher fic? I just got all the endings, and I'm obsessed. What about Scarletta trying to be physically affectionate with MC after seeing how protective Mr. Crawling is with them (perhaps even secretly peeking/knowing how often the crawling man hugged you, you two petting or shaking each other's heads, and using the word "cute" on each other.) I need Scarletta jealous 🫣” Author’s Note: Okay so, like… Mr. Scarletella is probably one of the more nerve-wracking characters for me to write for, but I absolutely adored this ask, so I gave writing him in drabble format a shot! (It’s also pretty funny how the fandom has unanimously agreed that Mr. Crawling and Mr. Scarletella would not get along and would be actively antagonistic toward each other lmao). I think his dynamic with the MC is fascinating… the whole parasocial relationship the two of them have going on throughout the game is such a unique choice (love the simp energy he gives off, too, since I wasn’t expecting that from his character haha). This ended up being kind of suggestive at the end?? Nothing too crazy or anything, just him being very happy about being able to touch you. Anyway, I hope this isn’t too OOC – enjoy!

→ If you enjoyed my work, please reblog it if you can! Exposure on Tumblr is based on reblogging content rather than liking it, so your support would be much appreciated! ♡

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Even though his memories had been forgotten, parts of himself and his identity erased after you successfully defeated him, Mr. Scarletella occasionally found himself thinking of moments he couldn’t even recall witnessing.

In his mind, he sees you with another resident of the realm, their long black hair cascading down their form while their laugh echoes through an empty corridor. He sees their fingers threading through your hair, moving their hands up and down along your scalp, and tousling your locks…

Mr. Scarletella hears your laughter fill the space, too. The sound is light and airy, and he finds his chest tightening at the hazy memory. It’s an uncomfortable feeling and certainly was not one he enjoyed experiencing. It almost felt like knives being shoved repeatedly into his torso, a stinging and aching sensation that spread throughout his entire body from a singular point.

Almost absentmindedly, his hand comes to rest on the left side of his chest, the side where a heart would be located if he possessed one like you did. Mr. Scarletella hears a gentle murmur interrupt his thoughts, a noise that cuts through the fog in his mind like a saw slicing through flesh and sinew.

“You okay?” Your voice echoes, and his pitch-black eyes dart down to meet with yours. You’re holding a red umbrella – his very heart and soul – in your hands. Your hold isn’t painful, nor is it gentle. It was perfect, just like you, he thought to himself.

Rain drips down the water-resistant material of the umbrella that was permanently stained a bright, bloody red, and it falls onto the clear rubber of your raincoat before sliding down your form. Both the umbrella and your coat effectively keep your body dry from the elements. Mr. Scarletella, on the other hand, was completely soaked, having no issue walking beside you while the rain clung to his clothing and chilled his skin.

If he concentrated hard enough, he could feel the heat of your body spreading throughout his chest and warming his form from the inside out. Oh, how happy he would be if the small flame within him sparked into something more, forming a fiery inferno inside his body. Even if you were to burn him, set an uncontrollable blaze within him that only left an empty husk behind, he would be content.

Your brows are furrowed while you crane your neck back to look at him, the sound of rain around the two of you, effectively breaking up the long stretch of silence. He was acting a bit strange today, you thought to yourself. While the man dressed in red was never really normal in the conventional sense, he was much more quiet today than usual.

Mr. Scarletella’s gaze used to be immensely nervewracking, his hollow stare once being able to cause the hair on the back of your neck to stand on edge, but you had grown used to it after spending so much time together. The two of you were in your old realm, the one you left behind to stay in the other world. You were fairly close to the haunted apartments he used to call his home and the site where you would dump the bodies of anyone unfortunate to cross your path… The start of everything that led you to where you are now.

“You quiet… What you thinking about?” You ask him, shifting the hold of the umbrella in your hand to the other. You hadn’t brought your weapon today, wanting to give Mr. Scarletella a chance to experience a “typical” date, one that didn’t consist of violence and murder for a change. However, he had been in a daze since the two of you arrived, and that was somewhat out of character for him.

Shifting your stance to better face him, your feet sink slightly into the mud beneath you. You look down at your boot-clad feet and frown. While you had grown used to being in a constant state of uncleanliness since the other world didn’t have showers readily or easily available, it was still quite annoying to clean mud from the soles of your shoes. This was the type of mud that threatened to pull your shoe from your foot if you were to try tugging on it, but you pushed your frustration to the side to focus on the man in front of you.

Mr. Scarletella hums and reaches his hand out to your head, placing his palm against your hair, and you freeze. Your hair sticks to his deathly cold hand, almost as if static electricity was coursing through his fingers.

It was soft under his skin, your hair, yet he could feel that some knots had begun to form near the base of the strands. Then, he begins to rub his hand back and forth, effectively messing your hair up even more. Your mind blanks at his sudden movement, the action reminding you of Mr. Crawling.

“Why… you touch me?” You ask, staring up at him as the rain begins to fall even harder, your grip on the umbrella in your hand tightening around the handle. The rain was so heavy that you could barely see into the distance, the horizon completely covered in a thick, gray mist. A sudden gust of wind blew Mr. Scarletella’s red hair, and within his usually hollow eyes swirled something you had never seen within them before.

It reminded you of a storm rolling in across the ocean waves, a variety of emotions spiraling within his ashen irises. His hand never once leaves your body, instead sliding down the side of your head to cup your cheek in his palm. Whenever he touched you, it felt like TV static against your flesh, and you could see white-and-black dots begin to dance across your vision as a light hum filled your ears.

Mr. Scarletella’s flesh is cold, and it reminds you of a corpse the chill his touch leaves in its wake. His head tilts to one side and he whispers to you, his voice barely audible above the rain crashing around you, “I want you – want to touch you.”

Before you can even speak or formulate a response to his words, he quickly pulls his hand away from your skin. It felt like you had burnt him, yet he found himself not minding the stinging sensation that danced across his flesh. His hand dropped lifelessly to his side before he muttered an apologetic, “Sorry. Shouldn’t have touched you.”

After taking a moment to gather your thoughts, you shake your head and tell him, “...You okay,” before turning on your heel to walk away. You glance at him over your shoulder, his form becoming further soaked from the storm. It was kind of amusing, you thought, seeing such a previously powerful entity look like a stray, sopping-wet cat.

Eventually, you gesture for him to come with one hand, the order of, “Follow me.” coming out of your lips, loud enough for him to hear.

He teleports to you before you can even finish your sentence, staring down at you with those unnerving eyes of his as he waits to see where you want to go. A huff of air forces its way out of your nose, chuckling at his obedience before you lightly graze his hand with your nails. It’s strange touching him, his form more like an illusion than a body made of flesh and blood.

The two of you make your way across the waterlogged fields and flooded, muddy roads. Your footsteps splash in the puddles beneath you as you walk while Mr. Scarletella moves without making a single noise, merely a ghost in this world. Soon, however, the abandoned apartments come into view, and you lead him inside the old concrete structure.

You pause as soon as your feet make contact with the cracked floor of the building, making sure that you can’t hear the sound of another living being within the hollow corridors. You close the umbrella when nothing catches your attention, making sure to shake it a few times to try and remove the raindrops that have accumulated on its surface. You watch as the water falls to the ground, making small, dark grey circles on the concrete.

Looking over your shoulder, you watch as Mr. Scarletella watches you in return while holding the umbrella, waiting patiently for you to say something as a shiver runs down his spine. His hands that were hanging at his sides were closed, and he was clenching and unclenching his fingers almost like he was fighting the urge to place his palms against your skin once more.

You can’t help but chuckle at his demeanor, placing the now-closed umbrella down so it was leaning against the wall. You do the same, leaning back on the wall before you hold your arms out to him, saying with a small smirk, “You can touch me.”

You jumped slightly at the speed at which he appeared in front of you. His body hunched over yours while he watched your expression intently, his black eyes partially hidden behind the thick curtain of red hair that cast shadows across his sickly complexion. Mr. Scarletella places his palm on your head, telling you smoothly, “Thank you.”

One of his hands begins to tentatively pat your skull while he enjoys the feeling of your hair against his palm. Then, his other hand soon joins, and you close your eyes while you allow him to pat you like a dog. It felt a bit demeaning in a way, but also strangely comforting, and it reminded you of one of the friendliest residents of the other world you had met.

Your eyes flutter shut almost out of habit, allowing the man in front of you to enjoy the rare moment with you. His hands started out resting against the top and sides of your head, the movement of palms against your hair causing it to become messy and sticking up because of the static he created.

Then, they tentatively travel to your face, cupping your cheeks before he brushes his thumbs underneath your eyes. You jolt a bit when his cold hand brushes against your neck, swallowing harshly when you feel him trace a finger down your SCM. Your breathing hitches while he explores your skin, and your teeth dig harshly into your bottom lip in response.

Then, you feel his touch pause, and Mr. Scarletella whispers against your neck, the pad of his thumb swiping against your lips, “...blood.”

“Oh, uh…” You open your eyes and look at him, seeing the way he’s staring up at you while his face remains close to your jugular. Your hand goes up to your lips, and you wince when you feel the soreness. When you pull your fingers away from your mouth, you see the blood that clings to them. Geez, you didn’t think you had bit your lip that hard.

You tell Mr. Scarletella, patting his head much like how he had been doing with you, “I’m okay. Don’t stop.”

He smiles widely and lights up at your words. Suddenly, he grabs your face and hastily presses his lips to yours. Your eyes grow at the sudden act, and a strangled noise leaves your throat. It wasn’t a bad noise, per se, you just hadn’t been expecting that from him. Typically, he waited until you permitted him to do that... He must have been too excited to hold back this time around.

You were speechless when he pulled away from you, noticing your blood that was now smeared across his lips. He licks it away, his tongue peeking out from behind his lips before he asks you, “...You happy?”

You can’t help but laugh at his question, reaching up to place your hand on his head while your giggles echo throughout the empty hallways, patting him softly. Mr. Scarletella’s smile falters while he focuses on the feeling of your touch, on burning the memory of your expression and the sweet sound of your laughter into his mind. It made him feel strange knowing he was the one making you react in such a way, but it was good.

He wanted to do it more.

“Yes, I happy. You cute.” You reply, smiling warmly at him while he stares at you like you’re the most beautiful thing in the world.

“I like you.” He says, sounding almost breathless as his body hunches over more, his face nuzzling into the crook of your neck while his hands explore the rest of your body, stroking and touching and petting you. Mr. Scarletella didn’t want this moment to end.

You chuckle as his breath fans against your skin, telling him gently as you feel his fingers work out any knots in your hair, “I know.”

“I like you, I like you, I like you…” He murmurs against your flesh, “I love you.”

#🌸 . plum writes #💌 . anon #homicipher #文字化化 #mr scarletella #mr scarletella x reader #mr scarletella x you #homicipher x reader #homicipher x you #homicipher imagines #homicipher drabbles #imagines #drabble

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mlyscha · 2 months ago

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↳ NO KISS, NO LIFE! ⭑

𝓼ynopsis. can your boyfriend resist your lips from getting kissed? 𝓹airing. enha!member x female!reader 𝓰enre. fluff, trendy 𝔀arnings. curse words, not proofread, english is not my 1st language. 𝔀𝓬. 2k+ 𝓶asterlist.

♡ 𝓪melie's 𝓷ote: first time writing here! leave a comment about your thoughts! (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶) also, when i was writing riki's part broo it was awkward because i wanted so bad to explain how both of you were supposed to be cuddling but ended up like trash i am so sad rn

― 𝓱eeseung: you were the one who lost.

"babe," you walked up at him while he was chilling on the sofa, seeing the opportunity to sit on his lap and try this new couple trend. "yes, baby?" when he saw you getting this close to him, he immediately threw his phone to the side and placed his hands on your hips; looking at you with those big heart eyes. "can we try something?" you heard him hum, like he was pondering if he would agree with your propose ― he surely will. "sure." his nonchalant expression made you squint your eyes, like a challenge has begun: you had to annoy him at all cost.

you quickly began to approximate your face to his, making sure your lips were just a few inches away from getting kissed. then, you whispered against his lips: "who kisses first...? let's see." you let that mischievous grin spread across your lips as you moved your face away from his, sitting on his lap with a straight posture. meanwhile, heeseung were just observing you with a teasingly smirk. "are you planning to make a move to make me kiss you?" he shook his head, but that didn't change anything. "is that so?" he nodded his head this time, still holding that smirk you already wanted to kiss off of his lips. gently, heeseung moved his hands from you hip to caress your hair, watching how fast you melted under his touch.

vulnerability is not something you would like to show to your opponent, and heeseung knew that. with that, after a few seconds getting petted, you simply accepted his sweet action and laid on his chest while sitting on his lap ― like you would normally do. you were so comfortable like you were home, that you kind of forget what both of you were challenging each other about, making you, unconsciously, peck his lips; like muscle memory.

before you could even process your defeat, your stupid boyfriend were already smirking and giggling. "loser..." he whispers against your pouty lips, giving you a kiss of pity.

― 𝓳ongseong: loses just to make you happy.

okay, let me explain: he isn't really that type of partner who enjoys to be competitive against someone he loves, like you. i mean, he is competitive, usually against the members, but he knew that making you win this silly challenge would make you very proud of yourself, and later, jongseong would be okay with dealing with your teases.

jongseong was downstairs making himself something to eat in the middle of the night since he got hungry while cuddling you. feeling a sense of warmth loss, you went downstairs when subtle noises were heard in the kitchen. "what are you doing here?" jongseong felt your arms around his waist and heard your raspy voice after awoken from your sleep. "go back to sleep, sweetheart." he turned to give you a forehead kiss and took a minute to pull you onto his arms. "want me to put you back to bed? maybe give you some snuggles and kisses-" "i would like that." you interrupted him. "yeah? so my rameyeon can wait, right?" he felt your head nod, making him giggle a little. jongseong followed you upstairs back to your shared room, and you immediately got under the covers and he also followed your action.

when your boyfriend was just about to pull you closer to him to cuddle, you asked him if he would be down for a midnight challenge. "i don't think i'm in the mood for your games," you saw his beautiful smile under the moonlight, and just like an infectious plague, you smiled back to him. "i don't care," you turned your body to look at him. "the first one who kisses, loses." you squinted your eyes at him when you saw his amused smirk. "what's up with that smile?" "you are so silly, y'know that?" you scoffed, amused as well.

for a subtle long minutes both of you were just looking at each other, like a staring contest and like the no kiss challenge was forgotten. however, when you were just about to close your tired eyelids, you felt a peck strike you lips, and with the sudden feel your eyes went widen. "you lost?!" "i guess i did." and he would just shrug while watching your face lighten up and the corner of your lips go up. "couldn't resist me for a single second." your sarcastic ― slash, mockingly ― tone was heard. with that, he knew the next day would be a pain and his friends would be teasing him all week about his weakness; but he couldn't care less.

― 𝓳aeyun: the "screw this stupid challenge!" type.

jaeyun is probably the clingiest boys out of the seven others, and you wisely know about that. his clinginess is one of the main reasons for you to try this challenge ― which you wanted to try with your boyfriend right after coming across it on tiktok.

"babyyyy~" you called out for him and you heard him answering upstairs. "come down here!" this time steps were heard and a smirk unconsciously appeared across your lips. "what is it, baby?" he threw a towel he was using to dry his face after shaving on the sofa's armrest and laid beside you, placing a quick smack on your lips right after laying his eyes on you. "i have a challenge for you," yeah, a challenge for him. a question mark laid on his head, so you just chuckled and explained how the things would go. "no!" "yes!" "baby, nooo~, i don't want to stop kissing you..." he whined while snuggling his head against your neck. "baby, it'll be quick, i promise," and yeah, it'll be very quick.

what you thought could be quick, you weren't expecting it to be a speed run: right after setting a countdown and then whispering "go", you weren't prepared for being kissed after exactly six (6) seconds. "damn! wait at least a minute, boy!" you whined, mocking him. "okay, then wait, sit straight, you are too irresistible laying here with me, sweets." hearing his request, you sat straight on the sofa while staring deep into his eyes, and jaeyun's discreet grins were that hidden from being seen, which was cute and amusing.

"y/n, you said it'll be quick, what's taking so loooong...?"he started to whine after just a minute later. "i don't know, you tell me." "you're teasing me," "am i?" you heard your boyfriend sighing, like he was impatient. oh, oh... "i don't care if you actually are, i don't care!" he suddenly attacks your lips with a smooch and then it began to switch to a passionate kiss ― consider you are pinned down against the sofa. "i hate you," "no, you don't," "yeah, i don't."

― 𝓼unghoon: shy, shy, shy, no loser, just shyness.

sunghoon is very comfortable with you, however, this situation is kind of new for him. i mean, not challenges, but the purposes of this challenge you were asking him for both of you to try. it was simple and harmless: just try not to kiss each other, how sweet! but oh boy, this grown up man was feeling a mix of giddiness and coyness, which made you feel so lucky for having him.

sitting on your shared bed, you had just asked him to try this couple trend that has been viral on tiktok, and sunghoon could've said no, but he didn't; giving you a hesitant subtle nod, making you even chuckle a little. having the chance of watching sunghoon's coy smile was priceless, and just to make him more nervous, you couldn't help but tease him. remember when i said both of you were sitting on bed? you may have moved to sit beside him, and let me tell you, your boyfriend shuddered. "are you scared of me?" you pouted and your sweet voice hit his ears, making him turn his head to look at you ― which he kind of regrets doing so after seeing your big eyes just looking up at him, pleading for a big fat kiss. "no..." he would simply wave off your tease. "okay... are you scared of me trying to kiss you or something?" "no." he quickly answered, reassuring you that he couldn't be giving more fucks about you kissing him; either the other way around.

sunghoon's mind was a blur of thoughts which were surrounding the urge of kissing you. "i can see your little smile," you whispered, commenting while trying to hide that big grin threatening to spread across your lips. "you want me to kiss you, pretty boy?" and you saw that cute shy side eye he just gave you, like he was screaming "yes!!!!!!!"; still, you wanted words. "yes?" your flustered boyfriend slowly began to give in, nodding, ― that will do, you thought to yourself ― and consider his lips were cutely displayed in a thin line. but! the moment you cupped his cheeks, his lips were already facing you, desperate to meet yours. however, you amusingly and playfully pretended to be hesitant, teasing him and testing his limits. "you are not losing shit if you're about to kiss me, come here," and in the end he finally talked, shutting your mouth before you could even laugh at his confident sentence.

― 𝓼unoo: the giggly one.

even though sunoo is the sweetest and clingiest in the relationship, he told himself he couldn't lose, but agreeing that if you were getting pouty, a million kisses were being pressed against your lips ― all of that because he knew, deep inside, he wouldn't actually be able to resist you. "okay, let's start," you spoke up, laying beside him on bed. "wait, before we start, the loser is going to be punished or something?" he hesitantly asked, but you shook your head. "unless you want to..." you shrugged but sunoo immediately shook his head frenetically with a big grin, making you laugh.

"you know, the games has already started," "i know." "and you can kiss me whenever you want, you know..." you teased, watching him purse his lips while looking at yours, really trying to hold himself from kissing your whole entire face. you always knew your boyfriend were the cutest, the most beautiful and perfect man on this earth, and that triggered you the moment the game started. that was a weak movement, making you feel the urge to kiss him asap. watching him unconsciously pout as he got a few inches closer from your lips was really testing your patient issues ― no offense.

you could hear his discreet giggles, exposed by his cute grin. your heart was hurting and the urge to kiss him burning. you loved his giggles, his smile, his rosy cheeks, his plump hydrated lips, just everything was tempting! that was the moment you realised: you couldn't do this anymore. "ugh, i can't do this anymore!" sunoo felt his lips being smooched by yours, and he was feeling completed after two (2) long minutes. "that was supposed to be my line!" he whined after pushing away from the kiss. you chuckled at his whine, but couldn't get enough, shutting his mouth with a kiss again.

― 𝓳ungwon: teases you but ends up losing.

jungwon would be the type who thinks like: can we just finish this? i don't care, you're silly lol. with that, while he was helping you to get ready for a date night out with him, you decided to come up with this challenge for him; stating that if he loses the dress you wanted to wear was the chosen one ― since both of you were having different opinions on that.

"you should wear the purple one," you rolled your eyes at him, holding his shoulders as you tried to get him serious after you just talked about this challenge. "the challenge will be choosing the dress for today: the purple one or the red one." "okay," he grinned. "but i still think the purple one is prettier." shrugging, jungwon hugged your waist while trying to get you softer with him. "do you think i can win this?" "no." you replied, making him pout. in the start he was serious, not even flinching. your boyfriend was really looking deep in your eyes.

however, as the seconds passed by he began to grow impatient. he realised this no kiss contest wasn't a wise idea when the clock was tickling and the time passing by. growing even more impatient and trying to ease this weird brief moment of silence, he tried to make you lose by teasing you: simply moving his face closer, trying to hold his laugh as he got to watch your serious impatient face expression and some other details which screams JUNGWON!!!

suddenly your lips were kissed and jungwon's screams: "this was so hard! okay... red dress wins." "yes! you're weak, yang jungwon." you commented, teasing him. "i am not! i am a man who wants to make my beloved girlfriend happy and- and we're getting late uh- just wear your dress." and you could tell he was annoyed by your tease. "you're gonna look amazing wearing both of them anyway." and this is the time where you blush and he laughs at you ― like he was having his sweet revenge. "you're weak, y/n!" "shut up!"

― 𝓻iki: tricks you and then blames you.

woah, i might have made you scared when i described riki's part like he was going to trick you and then blame you for something he caused, but don't worry! here's the thing: riki would make you think that he didn't want to play your games and make you kiss him - with a certain consent. but then when you tell him he lost, he would start to deny, blaming you for being this pretty.

"when did you came up with this stupid idea of a challenge? you know you can't stay even a minute without kissing me." he would tease you while his brows went up and down. "you're an idiot," you rolled your eyes at him. good to mention is that both of you were cuddling on bed at riki's family house, and you were placed at his side while his right arm was placed around your shoulder, comfortably. "okay, sure, let's try this stupid challenge your goofy just came up with." he shrugged, letting go of you and sitting on bed with his legs crossed. "sit here and we can see you lose." your boyfriend gave the empty spot on the bed a nod, and you sat across him after a deep annoyed sigh. "you are preparing yourself too much, don't you think you're the one losing here?" "no," yes. "i am just making you feel more comfortable, because-" "blah blah blah, stop this yapping session, the game starts know." "how bossy of you, my lady." "shut the fuck up." "that's not nice, my lady." "oh my god, shut the fu-"

fifteen minutes. fifteen long minutes. riki wasn't giving up, even when you teased him a few times by brushing your lips against his cheek or giving him a eskimo kiss. "okay, hear me out, honey bun," he cleared his throat, sitting on bed with a straight posture this time. "can we kiss each other without having a loser? like, i kiss- i mean, we kiss, and then, um... we just return to the part where we were cuddling, yeah?" "are you getting impatient?" you teased him, squinting your eyes when you realised he was getting closer and cupping your cheeks. "no! i mean, yeah, no! i am not, i'm just- like, asking..." his pouty lips softened your heart a little. "okay... why though?" "just- yes or no?" "yes or no what?" "tsk, do you agree with us kissing and no loser then?" you thought for a second, humming right after. "okay, so, no losers yeah?" "mhm..." and then he immediately kisses you, without even hesitating.

after riki gave you a goooood and looooong kiss, he pulled away and he knew he was done when you gave him that mischievous grin, growing into a smirk. "wait, baby, no- we agreed with this-" "LOSER!" "ugh..."

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cinnamorollcrybaby · 3 months ago

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Fuck being nice to you

Tags: Nanami x Reader, nsfw, mdni, exhibitionism, cock worshipping

An: I’m thinking about either doing a part two or an alternate ending where Satoru ends up joining in 🤭

“Yn, this is ridiculous- Come out from under there… No, come on. Someone’s going to see you- You want me to…. Yn, darling, that’s too risky. I promise we can do whatever we want as soon as we’re home. Just let me.. Ngh~ fuck.. don’t… don’t look at me like that.. Oh.. my god, where did you learn that..? F-fuck… This is so… irresponsible- You’re going to.. ngh agh! .. pay for this, you little m-minx.”

That’s what Nanami sounded like as you climbed under his desk, begging to taste him while you two were at work. You had successfully undone his belt buckle, and pulled his length out from his boxers and slacks.

Nanami is such a handsome, well put together man. He always smelled so clean with an undertone of his woodsy cologne. He kept himself nicely groomed… everywhere. He wasn’t shaved completely because neither he nor you liked the look. So, he kept his blondish pubic hair trimmed down for you.

His dick was also just… pretty? You always thought that was impossible after your years of being sent unsolicited dick pics by disgusting men, but Nanami?? No, his cock was pretty, long, and cut. Along his shaft, he had one protruding vein that ran up the underside of his dick. His tip was thick and swollen. It was always such a pretty shade of red when you made him hard like this. When you held it in your hands, it was nice and heavy too. You wondered how he managed to walk with that thing.

You had pressed his cock up against your face, and you fluttered your eyes up to look at him while his length was nuzzled against your cheek. It was nearly bigger than your face for fucks sake. Nanami had no business keeping weapon like that on him.

Nanami’s face burned bright red as he told you not to look at him like that. You looked so pretty on your knees below his mahogany wooden desk. All he wanted to do was wreck you, but he tried to force those thoughts aside.

Nanami was a lover in bed. He loved to kiss on you, dote on you, rub on you, make you feel so so good. He cherished and respected your body wholeheartedly. He fucking loves you. But sometimes… on rare occasions, Nanami felt the sick intense need to just ruin you. ravage you. wreck you. use you. fuck you until he’s shooting blanks.

Seeing you look up at him all nice and pretty with his cock so blatantly pressed against your face just sent his brain into overdrive.

He let out small groans as you licked his tip, teasing the very sensitive portions of his length with your tongue. He held one of his hands over his mouth to mask some of his noises. You two were still in his office, and anyone could walk in at anytime. His other hand was grasping the back of your hair, entangling his fingers in your soft locks.

A gasp left his mouth as soon as he felt your plush lips wrap around his girthy length. The wet noises that left your mouth soon following were nothing short of pornstar worthy.

You had this grown ass man moaning, growling, and shaking with your mouth alone as you sucked, licked, and kissed all along his length. You were absolutely sloppy with it too. He was always clean and put together, and you just wanted to defile him.

A mixture of your spit and his precum was gathered at the base of his length from you bobbing your head up and down. Spit trickled down his balls, and you used your hand to cup them.

“You’re so f..fucking good at this..” He groaned lowly as he kept his eyes on you. It was like watching an artist at work. “So fucking perfect… my good girl.” He cooed as he petted your head, still trying to repress the thoughts of making you his fucktoy.

His praise only seemed to make you work harder for him, swallowing and gagging around his length. You would hum and whine from the discomfort, sending vibrations up his cock. Small tears involuntarily dripped down your cheeks.

Gods, he was so fucking torn. On one hand, he wanted to wipe your tears away and tell you to be gentle with yourself. On the other, he wanted to yank your hair and make you take more of him. In his intoxicated state, he ended up doing both.

“Don’t push yourself too hard.” He chided as he forced his length down your throat.

He sounded like an absolute asshole.

If your mouth wasn’t full of cock, you’d probably giggle at his little blunder.

He was close. so fucking close. He could feel his balls tightening as he started to rut his hips upward, making you take more of him in at his pace.

So close. He was right on the edge when his office door opened.

Violence was a necessary part of Nanami’s career. He didn’t ever search it out by picking fights with people. He actually didn’t even enjoy confrontation all too much, but he wanted to fucking kill whoever was daring to interrupt his moment with you.

Nanami’s eye visibly twitch when none other than Satoru Gojo walked into his office. He was not in the mood, and he was all out of patience right now for the white-haired man.

Now, your sweet husband assumed you’d.. you know… pause your sucking while his coworker friend? was in the room. Unfortunately for him, he was unaware of your sick and twisted sense of humor.

“Nanami~” Satoru’s voice drawled in a whine as he dramatically flopped himself over the back of the chair across from Nanami’s desk.

“What is it-“ Nanami’s eyes almost rolled back into his head as you slowly took his length back into your mouth. “-Gojo?” He added as he gripped the sides of his chair tightly. His veiny hand was red, and his knuckles were turning white.

“Someone ate my dessert in the break room.” Satoru dramatically whined again. “Who would do such a thing? I’m wanting to launch an investigation.”

“Are you seriously bothering me about this right now?” Nanami hissed in a more vicious tone than he normally used. He didn’t mean to be rude, but he needed Satoru to just fuck off right now.

You swallowed his length, trying to be semi-quiet about it, but there was some wet noises. Nanami quickly coughed and shifted around in his seat. You were going to pay for this.

“Why are you so grumpy, Nanamin?” Satoru asked, unfazed by Nanami’s harsh tone. He was used to it by now. The white haired male cocked and eyebrow and lazily smirked at your husband. “Wife problems already?” He taunted.

Oh yeah, Nanami had a wife problem alright. His problem was that his wife was on her knees practically begging to be fucked.

“What do you know about-“ Nanami coughed loudly again to prevent from moaning as your tongue swirled around his tip. “- wife problems?”

“Uh… Nanamin, are you okay?” Satoru asked as he tilted his head to the side.

“Yeah.. yeah.. Actually- no, I think I’m falling ill. I think you should g-go now… I don’t want to contaminate you..” You didn’t know your husband could be such a filthy liar, but here he was. His voice was breathy and needy. He was nearly panting in front of his coworker.

“Oh- Oh ew.” Satoru’s face twisted in disgust as he hated getting sick. “Text me if you need anything, Nanamin.” He said as he promptly left the room.

As soon as Gojo was gone, Nanami rolled back in his chair quickly so he could get a good look at you.

“C’mere.” He grunted as he grabbed you by your blouse. He stood up out of his chair, pulling you to your feet.

He spun you, so his chest was against your back, and he carefully tread his hands up your sides, feeling up your curves that your pencil skirt didn’t bother to hide in the slightest.

He then gently tugged your hair back, causing for you to lean your head back into his shoulder with a small yelp. His lips ghosted over your ear. “Did you have fun making me look like a mess in front of Gojo, hm?”

You’re such a brat sometimes. You nod your head and let out a small giggle, remembering Nanami stuttering over his words and shaking while you sucked him off under the desk.

“Yeah? Was it funny?” He asked as his hand pressed to the center of your back, and he bent you over his desk. “You want to act like a whore so badly; I might as well fuck you like one, isn’t that right baby?” He purred into your ear, making your eyes widen. Nanami had never spoken to you like that before in the past. You didn’t even know he was capable of degrading you.

You fucked up.

Nanami curses as he looks at your plush ass against his bare cock. He’s carefully rutting it against your backside while he’s intoxicated by the way his cock looks buried between your clothed cheeks.

“Ken~” You moan as you arch your back up off the desk a bit more.

“Shut up.” He demands lowly. He can’t hear your whiny voice right now while he’s trying to hold whatever sliver of self restraint he has left.

“Mmnnph.. p-please..” Your whimper sends him over the edge.

“Fuck being nice to you.” He growls lowly as he pushes your tight skirt up and over your ass. He marvels at how pretty you look, bent over his desk like this.

Slap!

His hand forcibly connects with your bottom, causing you to jolt forward from surprise. A small whimper escaped your mouth. “T-too loud..”

“You didn’t seem to care earlier when Satoru was in the room. Is it different when he’s the one hearing you slurping?” He taunts lowly, and he gives your ass another firm spank.

“N-no!” You whine out.

“You wanted him to hear you, didn’t you?” Your husband growls as he swats you again.

“No, I-I just wanted t-to make you feel good.” You’re practically searching for friction on his desk. The ache deep inside you feels like torture. You raise your hips again, hoping Nanami will finally just take you.

Your words tug at his heartstrings a bit. Deciding you’ve had enough punishment, he pulls your panties down around your ankles. He carefully presses his fingertips to your warm, wet heat, and he groans from the feeling.

“You’re this wet from sucking me and getting spanked?” God, you’re a national treasure to him. So perfect in every way.

You weakly nod and hum in approval. You try to push back on his fingers, but they were already gone. The sound of clothes shuffling filled the room as Nanami pushed his pants and boxers further down his thighs for easier access.

He looks down at you with a barely noticeable smirk as your displayed so prettily for him over his desk. His wife’s pretty cunt was practically begging to be fucked, and who was he to deny her that pleasure?

A small grunt escapes his mouth as he aligns himself with your dripping entrance. He feels a bit of resistance against his cock that normally isn’t there. He normally preps you a lot more, given that he knows his size can be uncomfortable if not properly prepared.

“Ken.. ngh.. p-prep?” You breathily ask as you drag your hips upward, presenting yourself to him like a bitch in heat.

“No, I want you to feel this, baby.” He lowly coos before burying himself to the hilt deep inside of you. Your fingernails claw at the desk, and tears spring into your eyes involuntarily.

“F-fuck!” You whimper out, trying to hold yourself together.

Nanami lets out a quiet groan from the feeling. You’re squeezing him so perfectly right now. His hands trap you against the desk, and he pulls all the way until just his tip is in before pushing back inside forcefully. He repeats this motion a few times, making you feel every inch of him. You did this to him. You asked for this.

Small whiny gasps and moans fled your mouth. You tried to be quiet. You really did, but it was so hard when he was fucking you so deliciously from behind, making your cunt squelch with each forceful thrust.

“I hope he comes back and sees you like this.” Nanami growls lowly in your ear. “.. sees my pretty wife.. ngh fuck! .. taking my cock so well..”

His words literally have you hypnotized. The thought of someone walking in was frightening yet erotic at the same time.

“I wouldn’t stop either.” He goes on as his hips clap against your ass. “I’d let him watch how I fuck my wife.”

“Ken~” You whine from his vulgar words. You’re practically seeing stars as he hits all the right places. He knows you like the back of his hand. He knows just how you like to be fucked.

As you turn your head to look at him over your shoulder, Nanami growls from the look on your face. You look so fucked out and cock drunk already. He can’t hold back anymore.

His grasp on your hips is nearly bruising as he pounds himself into you, not caring about the noise. The desk creaks and scrapes against the ground with each powerful thrust. You try to keep yourself together as he fucks you into oblivion, but your body is nothing but a puddle.

“F-fuck~! Ken, I- .. cumming..” You barely manage to warn him before you’re spasming on his cock. He fucks you through your orgasm until you’re panting and whimpering against his desk. You weakly try to sit up, but his large hand catches your shoulder and forces you back down.

“I’m not done with you yet.” He lowly growls as he resumes his harsh thrusts. Your hands grab at the desk tightly, and your eyes screw shut as your poor cunt is so sensitive.

“Fucking… ah~ fucking take it, slut.” He demands as he rails you from behind. His thrusts are growing erratic and uncoordinated. He’s so close for the second time. He leans down over your back, and he bites down on your shoulder harshly before pumping you full of his cum. Your sloppy hole clenches around him as you find your second orgasm. Something about Nanami taking what’s his just really did it for you.

Slowly, he releases your shoulder from his teeth, and he presses soft kisses into the bite mark. “Are you okay, my love?” His adoring tone his back.

“‘m perfect..” You mumble quietly, on cloud 9 from receiving the best dick of your life.

“That you are, darling. So perfect.” He praises as he trails his kisses up the side of your neck. “I love you so much. You’re such a good wife.” His lips press against your jaw and cheek. “and a good girl too.”

“So, I’m not a slut?” You ask with a small giggle, remembering how he degraded you for the first time earlier.

“You’re my slut.” He quietly corrects with a soft chuckle. He then quietly hisses as he pulls out of you. He watches as some of his cum trickles down your swollen cunt. “So pretty.” He murmurs quietly as he leans into your heat and presses a small kiss to your sensitive folds, making you shiver.

“You’re not going to get any work done at this rate, Nanamin.” You playfully chide as you bite your bottom lip, silently hoping he’ll kiss your cunt again.

“Fuck that work.” He grumbles lowly before pressing another wet kiss against your core as you tremble before him.

He didn’t get any work done that day.

tags: @theuniversesnepobaby @lemonlimecrystal-blog

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