#see i bought a bunch of horse shadows right

[sometimesanequine]

bald 🫵

[hateswifi]

Rising from the Ashes: Of Dates and Disguises

So this is Part Seven here is to my Master List and Part Six.

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He texts back his Angel asking to go out this Friday night. She responded positively. He told her that he would pick her up from work. She told him not to overdo it or she wouldn’t talk to him again for a month. He promised he would try and keep it lowkey. Damian fell asleep with a smile on his face and a place in mind.

She wore a red a three-quarter sleeve dress the flows out between her elbow and wrist, the skirt is flowy and ends above the knee. She wore cute ankle boots and black tights. She grabbed her black mini purse. It was still cold, so she grabbed her navy blue winter coat has fluffy faux fur on the hood. The next day of Marinette’s work went well. 

She excitedly waits outside of Lucky Spot for Damian. She hears her phone ring, she picks it up. "Hi, Angel. I'm running a bit late. I got caught up in a bunch of traffic. I thought I would be out in time, but I'll be around ten minutes late. Can I pick you up at your apartment?" Damian asks speaking louder than need be.

"Damian, that sounds super loud are you ok? Are you safe?" Marinette asked, walking towards her apartment.

"Yes it's just traffic," Damian says. "Umm, I gotta go.."

"Oh ok," She said while hanging up. She finished walking home, texted Damian her address, and turned on the news. Robin and Red Hood were fighting Mr. Freeze. Well, they finished fighting they had Mr. Freeze in cuffs and was in the GPD's custody. Robin ran off out of view, the reporter talked about the fight when she heard a knock on her door. She got up quickly while turning off the t.v. and answered the door.

"Hey Damian," She smiles as she sees the boy, normally perfect black hair was quite messy, but handsomely messy, his green eyes sparkling in her dim lights. "Welcome to my humble abode. Would you like to take a look around?" 

"That would be lovely," Damian said, closing the door behind him.

"Just let me remind you that I've only been living here for a couple of days and not everything is decorated or how I would like it to be," Marinette explained, quickly. "This is my kitchen and living room it's an open floor plan." If you follow me this way I have what will be my sewing room once I sell this twin bed. This is my bedroom, it's a mess right now so I'm just going to close this real quick. Then the bathroom is right here."

"This is quite a nice apartment for only being here for a couple of days," Damian compliments. "It doesn't look like you have much stuff though. Did you not take any of your stuff with you? Did your family not give you any housewarming gifts?"

"I recently lost my parents, that's part of the reason I left," Marinette said her face falling a bit. "They died when our house burned down, so I started from scratch. The things I own now were either left by the last tenant left, hand-me-downs from Chloe, or things I recently bought."

"Well I'm sorry for your loss, but I know you're strong. I'll be here if you need my support, Angel, as your friend or something more," Damian said, Marinette ran over and hugged him.

"Thank you, Damian. That means so much to me," Marinette said into his chest.

"You ready for dinner, Angel?" Damian asked, rubbing her back.

"Yes, just as long as it's nothing over the top as I said last night," Marinette said, looking up at the handsome boy breaking away from the hug.

"Yes, come on," Damian said as she locked the door. They walked downstairs, Damian then opens the door to his car for her. 

"So where are we going?" She says, buckling her seat belt.

"It's going to be a surprise," Damian smirked, looking forward at the road, safety first.

"Can't wait," Marinette said, looking at the window, watching the city go by. "The city is so beautiful. Oh! I forgot to ask, did you get caught up in the Mr. Freeze traffic. I saw it on the news, man it must have crazy growing up in this city."

"You saw that?" Damian asked, looking over at the beautiful girl.

"Yes, it was the traffic light boy," Marinette smirked. "and Red Hood. They took him down quite fast, but Robin left quickly after Mr. Freeze was in cuffs."

"Traffic Light Boy?" He asks, remembering what Ladybug had said the night before. He smiles, knowing that the girl he wants as his girlfriend, is even more amazing than he thought. 

Marinette blushes as she explains. "I didn't know Robin's name when I moved here, but my first impression was a traffic light. The designer in me died just a bit but since it's a right of passage, and it's quite honorable."

"We're here," Damian said, getting out of the car then he opens the door for Marinette. "Welcome to the first restaurant my father took me to when he first got custody of me from my mother."

"This looks so homey, what food do they serve," Marinette asked, taking a seat on a stool at the counter.

"Burgers, french fries, hotdogs, milkshakes, and pizza. I hated American food growing up because my mother had me on a strict diet," Damian said. "It's still not my favorite, but I want you to have the full American experience. Do you want to get a little of everything and just split it?"

"Sounds good," Marinette giggles. "So you've heard about me. What can you tell me about you?"

"I grew up with my mother Talia and my grandfather. They were big on self-defense, I spent a lot of time on learning martial arts; I have achieved many black belts. I don't want to talk about myself, I want to hear more about you," Damian said. The waitress came over and took their order.

"I started designing at a young age because I didn't want to be in my parents' bakery shadow. They were the best in Paris, but I didn't want to disappoint them if I wasn't as good as them. As a thirteen-year-old in collège, I started designing for Jagged Stone. I also was found by Gabriel Agreste after winning a competition. He then let me release my line," Marinette told him. The food had arrived and as Damian said they split everything. "So what do you want to do after you're done with school?"

"As the only true blood heir to Wayne Enterprises my brother decided that I would inherit the company, but they would always help me," Damian said, taking a bite of burger. "How do you like American food?"

"It's pretty good, but it seems super unhealthy. I think I'll stick to homemade Parisian food for a while. Next time I'll make the food," Marinette said, pulling out her wallet from her purse to pay.

"Ok you know that I am a son of one of the richest men in the world, but you insist on pay, why?" Damian asks, taking her wallet before she could pull out money.

"Because, my prince, you were first Damian, Titus' owner. The boy I first met was adorably nervous, complimented me, and insisted on paying for breakfast as a sorry for being tackled by his dog," Marinette said. "I'll pay the tip. It's a tip or all meal."

"Fine," Damian said, giving her back her wallet. He paid the part he said he would. They left and he held the restaurant door open then also opened his car door for her. Damian walked Marinette up to her apartment.

"Thank you, Damian, for walking me up to my apartment," Marinette said unlocking her door then turns toward him.

"Thank you for coming with me. You make me happy, Angel,"  Damian said looking down at her. Marinette leaned up and kissed his cheek. He leaned forward and whispered. "Angel, may I kiss you?"

"Prince, I thought you would never ask," Marinette leaned up and met his lips. They are incredibly soft. They broke their chaste kiss. "Goodnight my Prince."

"Wait, Angel, will you be my girlfriend?" Damian said stopping the door before she could finish closing it.

"I would love that," Marinette said hugging him. 

"Thank you, Angel, for making my life brighter," he said, kissing her head. "Good night, Marinette."

"Good night, Damian," She closes the door with a smile, she slides to the ground.

The next morning Marinette got up and put on a straight long brown with blonde highlights wig she had bought earlier that week. She put on green contacts and wore the horse miraculous. She wore an emerald green shirt and her black skater skirt, all paired with green converse. 

“Hey, Chloe,” Marinette said into her phone. “I’m about the teleport is it ok if I use your room.”

“Ya I’m here now, I’ll be waiting,” Chloe said then hung up. 

“You heard Chloe, girls,” Marinette said looking at the kwamis. “Kaaliki full gallop. Full forth!"

The portal opened and she stepped through, now standing In Chloe’s room. She detransforms and hugs her friend. 

“I haven’t seen you in forever!” Marinette said. 

“It hasn’t been a week,” Chloe said. 

“It feels like longer though. Guess what?” Marinette said breaking the hug now looking at her friend. 

“What, you got  Titus owner to be your boyfriend,” Chloe guesses, rolling her eyes. Marinette blushes. “Wait seriously? You’ve been in America for five days and you already have a boyfriend? I guess I need to come to America too. Help me pack my bags?”

“Chloe his name is Damian and he’s super sweet,” Marinette smiles. 

“Lila’s fake boyfriend’s name is also Damian,” Chloe snickers and then mimics. "Her Damiboo is so shy." They laugh together and Chloe takes a closer look at Marinette. "So who are you today?" Chloe asks

"Today I am Ann Prince, and I am here to visit my dear childhood friend, Chloe," Marinette said in a British accent, twirling.

"Hello Ann I'm happy to see you again, it has been ages," Chloe says, hugging her long lost friend. "What do you have planned for today?"

"Well, I would love to see the friends your friends you speak so highly of. If I remember correctly Adrien and Kagami have a fencing tournament, then Kitty Section has a performance," Marinette said with a smile.

"I'll text my friends to let them know that my dear friend Ann is coming," Chloe said texting them. "Want some lunch before the tournament?"

"I woke up, got dressed and came here, so breakfast would be better," Marinette said as they leave Chloe's room.

"How about brunch?" she says closing the door. "There's a small cafe near here we can go to."

"That would be lovely," Marinette said as they walk together in sync they talk about everything they had missed. They eat eggs and benedict. They talk about their futures, how Chloe is doing in school, and most importantly Christmas. 

When they arrive they sit in the front row. They're on the quieter side careful not to draw attention to themselves. After Kagami won the girl's division she came and sat with Ann and Chloe. She smiled seeing the bluenette turned brunette. 

"Good job you guys! Hi, my name is Ann, I'm one of Chloe's childhood friends," Marinette greeted, still speaking in her British accent. 

"Hi, I am Adrien Agreste, and this is my beautiful girlfriend Kagami," Adrien said, hugging Ann.

"Hello, Ann," Kagami said also hugging her. Lila and Alya walk up to the group.

"So who is your new friend, you're all so quick to replace Marinette. What? Is she a bully too?" Aha sneers. 

"Well I am Ann Prince, it is a pleasure to meet you," she said, holding out a hand with a sickeningly sweet smile.

"Ann you don't want to hang out with these people, they are bullies," Lila warned smiling.

"Lila, why are you here?" Adrien said, stepping in front of Ann.

"I came to see you of course Adrihoney! You are my boyfriend!" Lila screamed, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Lila, I've told you many times that we are not dating. I'm dating Kagami and have been for two years," Adrien said.

"We both know your father is making you date her. I'll be here for when you can finally be free from her cold claws," Lila said, walking off with Alya tailing behind her.

"Well, you guys ready to head to Kitty Section's performance?" Marinette asks.

"Sounds like a plan, Ann," Chloe said, locking elbows as they walk out of the school.

Kitty Section is playing at the TVi studio as part of a competition judged by Uncle Jagged. Apparently, he had been a bit quieter since his niece's funeral. She was excited to see her friends and her uncle even from afar. Luka won the best guitar solo, but Kitty Section did not win as a group. 

"Hi, Luka! My name is Ann and I'm an old friend of Chloe. It's nice to meet you," Marinette said still in her British accent, hugging the bluenette. "Congratulations, I loved your guitar solo! The rest of your group was pretty good." 

"Thank you, Ann, you guys ready for dinner? I’m starving," Luka said turning to the rest of the group.

"That sounds great! I haven't eaten since before the competition," Adrien said, rubbing his stomach.

They ate dinner together. They chatted and she told them the news of her and Damian. She told them about the Gotham heroes and everything in between. They told her about their Christmas plans. They smile as the pay and say goodbye. She left to go talk to Master Fu.

"Master Fu, it's good to see you, she says bowing. "I ended up in America, how are you able to get me the correct papers?"

"It's good to see you again Ms. Marinette. I like the wig and contacts a simple but good disguise," Master Fu compliments. "I just have my connections, don't worry it's nothing illegal."

The process didn't take long and soon she was heading back to Chloe's room. She opened the door to see her friends sitting down watching an anime. She sat down on the couch her friends and watch half an anime before they're interrupted by a bing.

Prince: Hey Angel how are you doing

"Aww Damian is texting," Marinette said, smiling at her phone.

Angel: Pretty good. what've you been up to today?

'Prince: I had a couple of meetings today. They were boring, but I'm alive. How bout you'

Angel: Chloe video called me so I could watch Adrien and Kagami's tournament. Then Kagami video called me so I could watch Luka's performance. It was fun. Want to come to my apartment tomorrow for a homemade meal

Prince: I would love that

Angel: Great see you, tomorrow prince

Prince: It sounds like you're getting ready for bed, but do you realize it's only two o'clock

Angel: Seriously I didn't even realize it

Prince: Lost in a design?

Angel: No, Adrien recommended us all a different and new anime, Sword Art Online. It's pretty good

Prince: Well I hope you enjoy it. Dick is telling me to pay attention. Bye Angel.

Angel: Good luck, Prince.

Marinette smiles, standing up while saying. "Guys. I should be going. It's already eight here, two in Gotham. I'll miss you guys, I'll be back for Chinese New Year and regular New Year." 

"Well we can't wait to see you again Ann," Adrien said, hugging the girl the rest join in the group hug.

"Kaalki, full gallop," She transforms back into Mare. "Thank you for announcing my moving, by the way. Full forth. See you guys soon." Then she was gone. She had taken some French food she had missed a bit. She put the food in the kitchen, and grabbed her sketchbook, wanting to sketch her new found inspiration from being home. After a couple of hours of designing, and a shower she went to bed early because of jet lag sorta.

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[arecomicsevengood]

TOP TEN OLDER MAINSTREAM COMICS I READ THIS YEAR

I kept track of all the comics I read this year, and not all of them were new. I have no idea who this will help or benefit but at least the circumstances of me only listing the completely arbitrary older work I read for the first time this year will deter anyone from arguing with me. However, for the sake of possibly being contentious, let me mention two comics that fall outside the top ten, because they’re bad:

Trencher by Keith Giffen. David King did a comic strip about Keith Giffen’s art style on this book in issue 2 of But Is It... Comic Aht that everybody loved, and made me be like, ok, I’ll check it out. But it’s basically just a retread of Lobo in terms of its tone and approach, but without Simon Bisley. I don’t really know why anyone wouldn’t think Bisley is the better cartoonist. Also, those comics are terrible. Thumbs down.

The Green Lantern by Grant Morrison, Liam Sharp, and Steve Oliff. I bought the first year of these comics for a dollar each off a dude doing a sidewalk sale. Found them sort of incoherent? I haven’t liked a new Grant Morrison comic in ages, with All-Star Superman being really the only outlier since like We3. This is clearly modeled off of European comics like Druillet or something, and would maybe benefit from being printed larger, I really dislike the modeled color too. But also it’s just aggressively fast-paced, with issues ending in ways that feel like cliffhangers but aren’t, and no real characters of interest.

As for the top ten list itself, for those who’ve looked at my Letterboxd page, slots 10-8 are approximately “3 stars,” 7-4 are 3 1/2 stars, slots 3 and 2 are 4 stars, with number one being a 4 1/2 star comic. The comics I’m listing on my “Best Of The Year” list that’ll run at the Comics Journal alongside a bunch of people are all 4 1/2 or 5 star comics. This is INSANELY NERDY and pedantic to note, and I eschew star ratings half the time anyway, because assignations of numeric value to art are absurd except within the specific framework of how strong a recommendation is, and on Letterboxd I feel like I’m speaking to a very small and self-selecting group of people whose tastes I generally know. (And I generally would not recommend joining Letterboxd to people!) But what I mean by all of this is just that there is a whole world of work I value more than this stuff, and I’ll recommend the truly outstanding shit to interested readers in good time.

10. Justice Society Of America by Len Strazewski and Mike Parobeck. Did some quarantine regressing and bought these comics, a few of which were some of the first comics I ever read, but I didn’t read the whole thing regularly as a kid. Parobeck’s a fun cartoonist, this stuff is readable. It’s faintly generic/baseline competent but there’s a cheap and readable quality to this stuff that modern comics lack. Interestingly, the letters column is made up of old people who remember the characters and feel like it’s marketed towards them, and since that wasn’t profitable, when the book was canceled, Parobeck went over to drawing The Batman Adventures, which was actively marketed towards kids. It’s funny that him and Ty Templeton were basically viewed as “normal” mainline DC Comics for a few years there and then became relegated to this specific subset of cartooning language, which everyone likes and thought was good but didn’t fit inside the corporate self-image, which has basically no aesthetic values.

9. The Shadow 18 & 19 by Andy Helfer and Kyle Baker. I’d been grabbing issues of this run of comics for years and am only now finishing it. Kyle Baker’s art is swell but Helfer writes a demanding script, these are slow reads that cause the eye to glaze over a bit.

8. The Jam 3-8 by Bernie Mireault. I made a post where I suggested Mireault’s The Jam might be one of the better Slave Labor comics. Probably not true but what I ended up getting are some colored reprints Tundra did, and some black and white issues published by Dark Horse after that. Mireault’s art style is kinda like Roger Langridge. After these, he did a crossover with Mike Allred’s Madman and then did a series of backups in those comics, it makes sense to group them together, along with Jay Stephens’ Atomic City Tales and Paul Grist’s Jack Staff, or Mike Mignola’s Hellboy, as this stream that runs parallel to Image Comics but is basically better, a little more readable, but still feeling closer to something commercial in intention as opposed to self-expression. Although it also IS self-expression, just the expression of a self that has internalized a lot of tropes and interests in superhero comics. If you have also read a lot of superhero comics, but also a lot of alternative comics, stuff like this basically reads like nothing. It’s comfort food on the same level of mashed potatoes: I love it when it’s well-done but there’s also a passable version that can be made when depressed and uninspired. But drawing like Roger Langridge is definitely not bad!

7. WildC.A.T.S by Alan Moore, Travis Charest, et al. I wrote a post about these comics a few months ago, but let me reiterate the salient points: There’s two collections, the first one is much better than the second, and the first is incredibly dumbed-down in its nineties Image Comics style but also feels like the best version of that possible, when Charest is doing art. Also, these collections are out of print now, a friend of mine pointed out maybe they can’t be reprinted because they involve characters owned by Todd McFarlane but Wildstorm is owned wholly by DC now.

6. Haywire by Michael Fleischer and Vince Giarrano. I made a post about this comic when I first read a few issues right around the time Michael Fleischer died a few years ago, but didn’t read all of it then. This feels way more deliberately structured than most action comics, with its limited cast and lack of ties to any broader universe, but it’s also dumb and sleazy and fast moving, and feels related to what were the popular movies of the day, splitting its influences evenly between erotic thrillers about yuppies and Stallone-starring action movies. The erotic thriller element is mostly just “a villain in bondage gear” which is sort of standard superhero comics bullshit but it’s also a little bit deeper than that. The first three issues, inked by Kyle Baker, look the best.

5. Dick Tracy by John Moore and Kyle Baker. These look even better! A little unclear which John Moore this is? There’s John Francis Moore, who worked with Howard Chaykin and was scripting TV around this time, but there’s another dude who was a cartoonist who did a miniseries for Piranha Press and then moved on to doing work for Disney on Darkwing Duck comics. Anyway, Kyle Baker colors these, they’re energetically cartooned, each issue is like 64 pages, with every page being close to a strip or scene in a movie. I’m impressed by them, and there’s a nice bulk that makes them a nice thing to keep a kid busy. (For the record, my favorite Kyle Baker solo comic is probably You Are Here.)

4. Chronos by John Francis Moore and Paul Guinan. I was moving on from DC comics by the late nineties, but Grant Morrison’s JLA was surely a positive influence on everyone, especially compared to the vibe there in the subsequent two decades. These are well-crafted. There’s a little stretch where it uses the whole “time-traveling protagonist” thing to do a run of issues which stand alone but fall in sequence too and it’s pretty smooth and smart. The art is strong enough to carry it, the sort of cartoony faces with detailed backgrounds it’s widely agreed works perfectly, but that you rarely see in mainstream comics. The coloring is done digitally, but not over-modeled enough to ruin it.

3. Martha Washington by Frank Miller and Dave Gibbons. A few miniseries, all of which sort of get weaker as they go, but all in one book it doesn’t feel like it’s becoming trash as it goes or anything. When Miller dumbed down his storytelling in the nineties it really was because he thought it made for better comics, the tension between his interest in manga and Gibbons’ British-comics classicism feels productive. I do kind of feel like the early computer coloring ruins this a little bit.

2. Xombi by John Rozum and JJ Birch. Got a handful of these on paper, read scans of the rest. This is pretty solid stuff, not really transcendent ever, but feels well-crafted on a month-in, month-out level. I read a handful of other Milestone comics, and a lot of them suffered from being so beholden to deadlines that there are fill-in issues constantly. This is the rare one that had the same creators for the entirety of its run. There was a revival with Frazer Irving art a decade ago but I prefer JJ Birch’s black line art with Noelle Giddings’ watercolors seen here. They’re doing an early Vertigo style “weirdness” but with a fun and goofy sense of humor about itself. I haven’t read Clive Barker but this feels pretty influenced by that as well. (The Deathwish miniseries is of roughly comparable quality. I read scans of the rest of that after I made my little post and, yeah, it does actually feel very personal for a genre work, and the JH Williams art with painted color is great.)

1. Tom Strong by Alan Moore, Chris Sprouse, etc. I got bored reading these as a teen but getting them all for cheap and reading them in a go was a pretty satisfying experience. It’s partly a speed-run through Moore’s coverage of the concept of a comic book multiverse seen in his Supreme run, minus the riffing on Mort Weisinger Superman comics, instead adding in a running theme of rehabilitating antagonists whose goals are different but aren’t necessarily evil. It’s more than just Moore in an optimistic or nostalgic mode, it also feels like he’s explaining his leftist morality to an audience that has internalized conflicts being resolved by violence as the genre standard.

[ashwayssunny]

macdennis prompts: - first kiss (very cliche but,,,) - the gang finds out 💕💕💕thank you

@bruisedandsweet here you go! thanks sm for requesting a prompt, i hope u like it 😌

1998. 

It was winter of that year, a particularly terrible winter that brought snow and winds that toppled half of South Philly’s power lines, snapped them in half like petty twigs. January had been mild enough to trick them, but February brought chaos with it, ensuring that the two of them were trapped in their apartment with no power until the plow trucks could get on the roads. Mac didn’t seem to mind. He’d constructed a light source of birthday candles from years’ past he’d found scavenging in their junk drawers. He made a mental note to visit a Bath and Body Works as soon as he could escape, sure that the light from a big three-wick candle, or any other light source, would be better than this. The birthday cake candles, however, were all they had. 

The gas heating kept them mildly warm, but the storm had weakened it, allowing the cold to creep in at the corners of their apartment and spread like fog. Dennis had grumbled that he had several heated blankets but no electricity to use them, and Mac held his tongue from replying that there were other methods of sharing heat. Instead, they sat in the middle of their still fairly empty living room, a thick quilted blanket from Dennis’s college dorm spread across both their shoulders, though they sat just far enough away to share heat without sharing skin. They faced the TV despite its uselessness and made room for the leftover bucket of fried chicken they brought home yesterday before the storm trapped them inside. Dennis found himself reaching for the remote every few moments or so before he remembered and folded his hands back in his lap to keep them from wandering. They sat in the dark like this quite often, he supposed, because they both liked to watch movies in the dark. Dennis had bought them a fancy new DVD player and a sloth of their shared favorite films, and it had become routine for them to come home from the bar – which they owned, he thought with a small thrill – and watch Predator. He wished they could do it now. 

Mac was speaking to him softly, strips of orange runaway light from the window laying like road lines across his smiling face. His eyes glittered in the darkness, and Dennis wondered what it was about this scenario that leant to such an expression. The tips of his fingers were far too chilled, and there was a dull thumping ache behind his left eye. Sugar and tequila, Mac tsked at him that morning. 

“… anyway, Dennis, I think a mechanical bull would be, like, a really cool way to get chicks into the bar, you know, and Charlie agrees with me –”

“A mechanical bull?” Dennis chuckled, tuning back in. 

“Yeah man, can you imagine how sweet it’d be to, like, have a bunch of chicks watch you conquer a bull? I mean, what could turn them on faster? That’s called primal arousal, dude.”

“Or it could be a total disaster,” Dennis retorted, “and then it’s a bunch of chicks watching you fall on your ass. Besides, I feel like mechanical bull upkeep isn’t cheap.”

“The thing will pay for itself, Dennis, I promise you.” Mac shifted, reaching down and grabbing a drumstick. They couldn’t warm them, of course, but Mac was enough of a savage to eat things cold on a regular basis. He brought it to his mouth and chomped intermittently, and Dennis had to look away. He hadn’t realized he’d been looking at Mac’s mouth. 

“I hope the storm lets up soon,” Dennis sighed, bringing the quilted blanket in closer to his chest. “I can’t deal with the no electricity thing much longer.”

“I’m sure the road people will be out in no time,” Mac said with total assurance, and Dennis smiled in spite of himself. The candlelight made him sleepy, and the shadows it cast on the wall made him want to dream. He wasn’t sure of the time; they hadn’t been able to move much more in on account of the bad weather, so their couches and various knick-knacks remained in storage. The frost had crusted so thickly on the window that morning that he feared they would have to pick it off to keep it from cracking the glass. Once they’d seen that, they settled in, playing board games, drinking, smoking a few joints, and repeating, until time was gone. “Mac,” Dennis said without meaning to.

“Mhm?”

“What time is it?”

“Uhhhh, I think it’s like two,” he said contentedly. Dennis noticed he’d scooted just a fraction of an inch closer. He didn’t mind. 

“Jesus,” Dennis said, glancing around the room. The candlelight didn’t reach the corners of the apartment, keeping them shrouded in darkness. If Dennis stared hard enough, he swore he could see movement. He completed the inch by moving just a fraction of a hair closer to Mac. 

“This place is really great,” Mac said, breaking the stillness.

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know, just…” he trailed off, gesturing vaguely to the rest of their shared space. “I really like it here, you know? Good location, good price –”

“Not that you pay any of the rent,” Dennis interjected, though he was mostly joking. 

“Bro, don’t worry, I told you I’d get it to you! Once we install the mechanical bull…” Mac continued on, but Dennis found himself looking at his lips once more. It was innocent enough, he told himself. Mac was so warm beneath the blanket, radiating heat like an old furnace. In contrast, Dennis was cold most of the time, but Mac’s warmth was never far away. 

“I like it here, too.” Dennis said simply, pressing his shoulder to Mac’s with the lightest touch he could manage. When Mac didn’t flinch, he relaxed a little more, and his skin prickled at the points where their flesh made contact. 

Mac turned his body almost imperceptibly towards Dennis. “Are you cold, Den?” 

Dennis shrugged. “Always.”

Mac hesitated for just a second before reaching an arm around Dennis and drawing him in closer. Dennis could taste the thickness of the little space left between them like pea soup. Maybe just once, he thought, just to try. I won’t know if I never try, right? 

Mac’s eyes were round like the moon, candlelight dancing in his pupils, when Dennis leaned in, eyes drifting shut. Mac sucked in his breath, his heartbeat bursting into a sprint like a race horse fresh out of the gate. He felt outside of his body, watching Dennis inch closer until there was the faintest, softest brush of something –

Like the stab in his gut, Mac pulled back, releasing the breath he held in several shaky gasps. “W-Whoa, what –” 

Dennis blinked at him in genuine surprise for a moment before his face contorted into something more akin to scorn. “Well, I just –”

In an instant, the atmosphere was broken, and the meager candlelight served only to remind them that they were simply poor and not bohemian. Mac stuttered but could form no coherent thoughts, and Dennis felt heat rising to his cheeks from a growing pool of anger in his stomach. 

“I think I should go to bed,” was all Mac could muster, standing and shrugging the blanket off his shoulders. He avoided Dennis’s blue gaze, so piercing even in the dimness, and beelined for his room. “Goodnight, Den.” The door shut behind him as quickly as he’d said it, and Dennis sat in the living room with the blanket and the dark apartment making him feel like the smallest object in the world until dawn. 

2018. 

Dennis couldn’t believe how similar the scenario was. Same apartment, though by now it had been burned and rebuilt twice, stocked and restocked with everything they’d collected in twenty years of cohabitation. The South Philly power grid had once again been rendered inoperative by heavy snow, and they were forced once more to exist by candlelight, though this time Mac had plenty of large three-wick candles on hand. They’d been totally alone the first time, however, and Dennis wished that were the case when he began to hear the combined snoring of Dee, Charlie, and Frank in the other room sharing his bed. They’d all been drinking in Mac and Dennis’s apartment when the storm reached its zenith, and Mac threw a fit at the idea of them departing into such dangerous weather. He was their bodyguard, after all. Dennis had elected to sleep on the couch, but the combined snoring grated on his eardrums far too loudly to allow him any rest. 

In a true act of hypocrisy, Mac had ventured out into the storm to visit the corner store in the hopes that the owners’s commitment to staying open twenty-four hours, seven days a week, was steadfast. If this is gonna last all weekend, Mac had said to them, we’re gonna need beer. Lots of beer. Dennis and Charlie each thought about volunteering to accompany him until they caught sight of the nearly six inches of snow obscuring their view from the apartment windows. Charlie had gone to bed hours ago, however, and Mac hadn’t returned. 

Dennis pulled a blanket over his shoulders, propping his feet up on the coffee table. He closed his eyes, relishing the brief moments of silence, when the lock on the door began to rattle. Dennis’s eyes popped open as soon as Mac’s form appeared in the doorway, caked with snow and dripping but smiling all the same when he saw Dennis. 

“There you are,” Dennis said softly. “Tell me you got the beer.”

Triumphantly, Mac held up two plastic bags containing twelve packs. Dennis broke into a grin, though his chest began to tighten. Mac kicked off his shoes, shut the door, and plopped down next to Dennis on the couch. “You’re getting snow everywhere, asshole,” Dennis jabbed.

Mac ignored him, wiggling his way underneath Dennis’s blanket as if it were the most natural thing in the world for him to do. “Sorry, dude, I’m freezing. But at least we have beer.” Mac placed a twelve pack on the coffee table in front of them, removing two frosted cans and handing one to Dennis. They cracked the tabs open simultaneously, knocking back hearty swigs. Mac broke first, wiping his mouth on his sleeve and letting go of a small burp. Dennis finished his can in one impressive motion. Mac grinned at him, and Dennis thought it could’ve been twenty years ago. “Nice,” Mac said simply, and the warmth in his stomach began to spread. 

“Thanks, man,” he attempted to grin back. Mac was looking at him then, studying his face in a way that made Dennis uncomfortable. He squirmed a bit underneath the blanket, buzzing with a sort of energy whose origin he couldn’t place. “What?”

“You look tired, bro. Why aren’t you sleeping?”

“Do you not hear the monstrosity coming out of there?” Dennis jerked his finger in the direction of his bedroom. “Do you think I can sleep in that environment?” 

Mac shrugged, and Dennis knew it was because he was a heavy sleeper. He always had been, even in high school when he and Charlie would stay the night at Dennis’s house. Mac would melt like a heated metal into his bed, lost completely to the world despite the hell or high water that frequently broke the silence in Dennis’s home. Whether it was his parents fighting, Dee crying in her bedroom, or a combination of the two, Dennis could hear them through the walls as easily as if they were made of paper. But not Mac. Mac could sleep through anything. 

“You could… sleep in my bed,” Mac said measuredly, tasting each word as if he wanted everything to feel just right on his tongue. “If you want,” he added quickly, “you know, to escape the noise. I can take the couch. I know you can still hear it out here.” 

Dennis almost smiled, but the casually placed grimace he’d adopted as his neutral expression was difficult to move. “Maybe,” he conceded, suddenly aware of how tired he actually was. His eyes drooped, and blinking in the candlelight only made him want to sleep. Without warning, Mac’s hand was on his face, curving around his cheekbone so lightly, so gently, it could’ve been the touch of a spirit. Dennis’s eyes opened wider, but Mac’s were fixed on his mouth. Dennis’s mind went blank, his only thought being that it was okay, they were safe in their home, and no one was watching. He tried to place no meaning on the moment, vowing to omit it from his memory, when Mac’s lips finally touched his and neither of them pulled away. 

Mac’s skin was cold; Dennis shivered when they made contact, but Mac’s hand stayed firmly planted on his cheek. Dennis wondered how different their lives would be if this had happened twenty years earlier as it was meant to. Pushing that thought away, he curled his fingers into the hair at the nape of Mac’s neck and pushed them closer together, deepening the kiss. Mac’s lips were a bit salty, and both of their breaths tasted of beer, but Dennis didn’t find it unpleasant in the slightest. He even found himself beginning to smile into the kiss when an auditory gasp that belonged to neither of them nor a voyeuristic spirit broke their concentration.

They detached immediately, both their heads whipping in the direction of the noise. Frantically, their eyes searched the darkness until they made out the figure of Charlie leaning against the doorway of Dennis’s room. “Holy shit,” Charlie’s grin was big enough to make out the glint of individual teeth in the moonlight, and neither had time to say anything before he turned to the darkness of Dennis’s room and shouted, “Dee! Frank! Pay up, suckers, I was right!” 

[imaginesnkdorks]

Thank Goodness for Crazy

Part IX: To Infinity and Beyond  | 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 |

Pairing: Erwin/Reader

Summary: That time Erwin got jealous, and the first time our hero went on an expedition beyond the walls

The trip back was entertaining – at least for me. Theo filled me in on how life was within the walls. Turned out this world within the wall is a little like how I imagined North Korea to be. Of course, most of these people can’t tell, but I have the feeling that the history they are being taught from childhood is fabricated.

There are just too many holes that it doesn’t answer, mainly the origin of titans. Theo is one of those who just either naively believe or just couldn’t give a damn.

Oh, I am totally thankful that Theo is talkative – he didn’t ask me many questions about my life.

The moment we got back, we are off to training. Since Theodore is simply clueless about our craft, they have to train him on the most basic of things, even though he is supposedly a “Squad Leader”. But we all know it’s just a title. I mean, first off he bought it, second there are only four squad leaders and he’s an extra, lastly, there isn’t even a squad for him to lead. It doesn’t seem like he minds, though.

“Erwin!” I called out while running towards him. Honestly, I haven’t seen him since we left the party.

“Andi. I see that shadow of a man isn’t clinging on to you today.”

“Shadow? What, you mean Theo?”

“Theo? I didn’t know you two were that close.” He said in a tone so cold. What the hell? Seeing as he’s in such a bad mood – must be the stress of the coming expedition – I decided to just ask him my question and get this over with.

“Well, we are. Anyways are we still on for training? You promised you’ll teach me how to use the blades, and how to maintain the gear.”

He smiled, though I can’t exactly tell why but for sure it wasn’t a smile out of happiness. Before he could say anything, though Theo appeared.

“Andi! I’ve been looking all over for you. Come and have breakfast with me.” He said as he sashayed over to me and Erwin. “Oh, Erwin, was it?”

“Yes, Lord Van Rumpade.” Erwin said bitterly, the smile swiped off his face.

“Oh, no need to be so formal. We’re fellow squad leaders.” I guess it wasn’t only me who found this funny as I saw Erwin sneak an eye roll at that, but Theo wasn’t finished yet. “Join us for breakfast?” He said in his charming way, dazzling us with his unbelievably white teeth in a world with no whitening strips and high-tech dental stuff.

“I’m afraid I can’t. There are still preparations I have to see through.” And then he just turned away and left me with Richie rich. I guess that’s a no for our training. Even though I know I would mostly just whine all day while we train, I can’t help but feel disappointed.

           The following days, I was taught how to handle blades and to maintain a 3DM gear. Also, I started learning more about titans. Who else could teach me well other than Hange? I tuned out so much of her long speeches before that I have to suffer through them again, only this time I should really pay attention.

           In a month, I am a professional at both combat and 3DM gear. I now know by heart where to slice a titan, I know very well how to ride a horse and I also learned first aid. It was depressing, though, their first aid. Turns out a lot of injuries and diseases which are treatable back home, are deadly here.

           It’s unbelievable how fast my progress was. I’d say, I have a knack for violence.

           With the expedition only a few weeks away, I am putting double effort in everything that I do in hopes of Erwin giving me the go signal.

           Speaking of Erwin, even though we live right next to each other, I barely saw him. It’s because he’s always at meetings. I, on the other hand, am always training, or with Theo who won’t leave me alone. I admit I was stunned when I first saw him. The infatuation eventually wore off after seeing how much of a baby he is. But I still can’t tell him to leave me alone, I mean he paid us so he could stay, also I think it’s kind of my fault that he chose us.

           “Andi. Where’s Theodore? Not clinging on to you today?”

           What the hell? I felt my forehead knot in frustration the moment Erwin finished. Seriously, every time I run into him, he’s always like this and then he’ll be gone before I could even respond.

But the expedition is more important, so despite my irritation, I decided to just roll my eyes and ignore his questions. And I grabbed his arm before he could run away to who knows where.

           “I want to join the expedition.”

           “You just started training two months ago.”

           “Ugh! Is that a yes, or a no?”

           “You’re not yet ready.”

           “I’m better than a number of soldiers already!”

           “You haven’t beaten me once every time we spar. If you can’t handle me, a Titan is too much.”

           “Last time we sparred, I’ve only been training for a month. It’s different now.”

           “Oh, really?”

           I hate this. I hate it when people doubt me. In my irritation, my idiot side took control of my mouth.

           “If I’m not ready, then I’ll die. It doesn’t matter. I want to go.” See? When I say idiot, I really mean it.

           Erwin gave me a glare that could probably kill me, but I stood my ground. I won’t falter. This is the adventure that I’ve been waiting for! I stared back at him as intensely as I could. It honestly became a staring contest.

           “Alright. But you won’t leave my side. Understand?”

           Yes, sir!” I said, letting go of his arm. I then pounded my chest with my right hand – as best as I could as I am fairly big chested – and gave my very first salute.

-------

           You’ll know it if it’s the day of an expedition, or better yet you’ll feel it in the air. A sense of dread hangs in the air, and it’s really depressing. Almost every soldier is silent, although some are abuzz with nervous energy. Even though I’m quite confident, their attitude is very infectious. Soon enough, anxiety crept in into my system.

           I can’t help but be amazed by Theodore’s confidence. He’s the only one who seems to be excited. But it’s probably because he doesn’t know what to expect.

           We soon arrived at Shiganshina where the outermost gate is located. Well, technically there are three other gates that go out the wall, but they just seem to like using this one that’s leading towards the south.

           I’m on my horse, Max, and right beside me is Erwin. I plan on fulfilling my promise about sticking to him, I feel like I’ll be safer that way.

           I’ve been staring blankly ahead, at the sea of green capes and wings of freedom crest. The gates take a long time to open. Uncle Keith chose this to give a pep talk, which I could hardly hear over the murmurs of bystanders and soldiers alike.

           “Nervous?” Erwin asked, raising a thick eyebrow.

           “No.” He smiled at that, but in a way that shows that he doesn’t believe me. Well, I admit I was lying. I am nervous, who wouldn’t? Even though I literally asked for this, I can’t help but be anxious – it’s like riding a roller coaster.

           When the gate finally opened, uncle Keith gave the go signal and we all valiantly rode our horses. I sang FOB’s Centuries in my head, making me feel like I’m some kind of hero with a theme. But then I realized that it’s not really making me feel good, especially the line some turn to dust. I definitely don’t want that.

I kind of expected that there would be titans right outside, waiting for us. But it took a couple of minutes before we encountered the first one. The team at the rear promptly dispatched it.

I hoped that this is how my first expedition would be: a few titans roaming, and some that we run into are instantly killed, we then prance around on our horses the end. But no, that’s not how it is over here.

Not even ten feet from the first titan, two more appeared. And two out of the five soldiers that attacked were eaten. After that, we encountered more and more soldiers got eaten in their attempt to kill the damn giants.

“Why do we approach them head-on?”  I yelled at Erwin. The goal of this mission is lost to me because with what’s happening, I can say that our mission is to die for humanity period. Nothing gained, we just die. I mean, puny little humans like us attack big ass titans on sight.

Instead of answering, Erwin just clicked his tongue and commanded us to ride in a closer pack. I now understand more why in movies and tv shows, the high-ranking officers are always old people. Those of position just yell out the command, while the nobodies jump to their deaths.

Was I a very unlucky nobody.

           “Two Titans approaching from the rear!” Pieter yelled.

           “One is a six-meter titan, the other a twelve-meter!” Supplemented Esme. Now, the announcement of titan’s presence isn’t creepy itself, what scared me was that these two soldiers are right behind me. I turned to look at Erwin, who was unbelievably calm while giving orders.

           “Ready your blades.”

           One thing you must know; this squad of Erwin’s is a bunch of veterans. Also, there are four team leaders under him, one of them is Hange. Since Hange is a team leader, even though she’s directly under Erwin, she’s in a different part of the convoy.

           Anyhow, I followed his orders and readied my blade. Since we are nearest these titans, it’s our goal to finish them off now.

           Honestly, this moment was a blur. I don’t know, it must be the adrenaline. But my fuzzy memories tell me that I helped in eliminating the titans, though one of us got his leg bitten off. Being the newbie, I was assigned to treat Damien. While the others were finishing off the last titan, I tended to the injured soldier.

           His thigh was ripped in half as there’s where the titan bit him. I felt queasy, but I tried to do my job. Tried is the keyword because my asshole teammates just happened to land the killing blow on the 12-meter titan whose torso fucking landed on Damien, and almost on me.

           I’d like to save you from the gory details, but next time you eat spaghetti with meatballs, crush the meatballs. That’s what I saw. I’d say being eaten by a titan isn’t the worst way to die.

           “Andi! Andi, get yourself together!” Erwin was shaking me. I guess this is something that would scare me for life.

           Next thing I know is I’m back on my horse going towards where ever the commander tells us to.

           Setting camp for the night, everyone who wasn’t injured or dead are busy salvaging any bodies that could still be taken home while some were like me who are treating the injured. There are a lot of missing and crushed limbs. Turns out having a titan fall on you is a common way to die or be injured.

           It was almost sunset by the time I finished up. I walked and ended up where uncle Keith is.

           He has a map with him, on which he is jotting down notes. I sat down beside him, feeling exhausted all of the sudden.

           “What’s our goal, really?” I asked in a silent whisper.

           I looked around, and in between clusters of bandaged soldiers are bodies on the grounds waiting to be loaded on wagons. Even the horses looked fewer.

           “You already know it.” He answered, not even bothering to look up.

           “Secure bases for advancement beyond the walls. But why aren’t we doing it?”

           That has got his attention because he focused on me with too much intensity I almost regret being born. “We aren’t doing it? Do you think these soldiers died for nothing? For a silly quest?” I was almost too tempted to tell him to chill, but I’m just too tired both physically and mentally.

           “We could run from titans and not attack them head-on. That’s what people have been doing for the last century.” I thought back to how I played video games – like pokemon. I always avoid the trainers; I walk behind them or when they are not looking. I guess that could be done by us and it will save a lot of lives and reach our goal at the same time.

           “You’ve been spending too much time with Erwin.”

           And our conversation was over.

           The rest of the expedition was a haze. I killed a few titans, though I wasn’t able to celebrate my first kill. It’s like I operated on instincts; my mind was blank and I kept jumping and slicing. It was almost robotic. I know it’s bad, but I think my autopilot tried to be the hero. I pulled people from titan’s mouths, I pulled some who are about to be crushed. I am honestly surprised I survived.

By the time we are to go back inside the walls, our numbers are almost cut in half.

           The trip home was also ridden with more casualties. We soon reached Shiganshina and there wasn’t any Hero’s Welcome. We were hackled and mocked. But I’m too tired to feel anything about it.

           The moment we got back to HQ, I went straight to my room after leaving Max in the stables. No tears came though. I was just sitting on my bed staring at the bare floor. Then someone bust in my room.

           “Erwin.”

“How are you holding up?”

That was when tears started flowing down. I couldn't stop. I was shaking and sobbing. Then I felt his arms around me, trying to console me. You know what's sad? It's not just seeing people die or get eaten. It's not death itself. I'm used to death, people die all the time. The news back home was full of it.

The difference this time is that these people who died are not just numbers on a statistics report. They are my colleagues - people that I actually know. They are names and faces to me, not just numbers. Erwin didn't say anything. He didn't tell me that it will be okay. He' not giving me empty promises. Honestly, this hug alone is enough.

“I should have turned back. I could've saved some people. I ...”

He suddenly broke the hug and held me at arm's length, looking at me straight in the eye.

“Stop. Don't blame yourself. If you start regretting your decision, you will start to doubt yourself. You'll let others decide for you, so stop. None of it is your fault.”

He said, concern evident in his eyes. I know he's right, of course, he is. And it would be wise for me to follow his advice. Too bad I'm such a baby, though.

“Ok.”

I lied. Because I know who I’ll be dreaming of tonight If I ever get sleep. Guilt is still eating at me.

He stayed with me that night until I stopped crying, which is apparently when I fell asleep.

[grimelords]

My March playlist is finished! This one is slightly more diverse than usual, swinging all the way from vibraphone jazz to Bhad Bhabie to black metal so I’ve taken the liberty of actually sequencing it properly for you. So if you’ve got 3 hours you can listen to this straight through and be taken for a hell of a ride. No matter what you like I’m sure you’ll find something in here that you love.

Tahiti - Milt Jackson: For an unknown reason I had a big jazz vibraphone phase this month and when you're talking jazz vibraphone you're talking the Wizard Of The Vibes himself, Milt Jackson. I feel insane even having an opinion on this but it's a shame that some of the best vibraphone performances were made at a time when the actual recording technology wasn't really there, they all have this very thin quality that I think misses a lot of the great character of the instrument.

Detour - Bill Le Sage: Like compare this from 1971 to Wizard Of The Vibes from 1952, the sounds is miles warmer and gives so much more of the full range and detail of the instrument. I also listened to this song five times in a row when I first heard it, the central refrain is just so fuckin good. Like I said, big vibes vibe and who knows why.

Blowin' The Blues Away - Buddy Rich And His Sextet: Superhuman playing aside, it's unbelievable how good these drums sound. The whole first minute just feels like a tour of each specific drum and I absolutely revel in it. I feel like flute and vibes is a relatively rare combo so it's extremely nice to hear Sam Most and Mike Manieri go ham in tandem.

Yama Yama - Yamasuki Singers: A friend sent me this song that he's had stuck in his head for ten years ever since it was in a beer ad from the days when beer ads were incredible strange for complicated legal reasons about not showing people enjoying the product or something https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ORfkh0OojxY and this incredible song is apparently from a 1971 French concept album where a couple of guys wrote a bunch of psychedelic songs in Japanese for an unknown reason that later became a massive drum and bass breaks album, and one of the guys was Thomas Bangalter from Daft Punk's dad! Music is crazy.

Alfonso Muskedunder - Todd Terje: I'm starting a petition to get Todd Terje to write the soundtrack for the next Mario Kart. I absolutely love this song and this whole album because it's so joyful and strange and it just sounds like nothing else I've ever heard. He seem to truly operate in a world entirely of his own.

Pala - Roland Tings: I love this song. It's like he wrote it with normal sounds and then went back and replaced every instrument with the party version. This song hands you a coconut and says welcome to the island where bad vibes are punishable by firing squad.

Keygen 13 - Haze Edit - Dubmood: There's a fucking album of keygen music on spotify and it's absolutely great and so good that someone's doing the work to recognize the value of the music this extremely weird scene produced and preserve it. If you don't know, back in the day when you pirated photoshop or whatever, you would download a license key generator which was a program made by extreme nerds who had cracked the license key algorithm to give you a fake one, and for unknown reasons they would make the keygen program play original chiptune music that someone in their nerd crew would compose. Who knows why but god bless them.

My Moon My Man (Boys Noize Remix) - Feist: The very concept of a Boys Noize remix of My Moon My Man is hilarious and it turns out it sounds absolutely amazing as well. Two great tastes that taste great together.

Low Blows - Meg Mac: I had a big Meg Mac phase this month too, listened to her album a lot and it's extremely solid. Great timing too cause her new one comes out in a month or so too. I really am excited to hear her next album because she's so good but I've always got this feeling that she hasn't reached her full potential yet, she's only going to get a million times better in an album or two.

Patience - Tame Impala: I love that the cover of this single is a pic of congas because it feels like that's the central thesis here. Kevin Parker bought some congas and is making disco Tame Impala now and I really couldn't be happier about it.

Unconditional (feat. Kitten) - Touch Sensitive: I love a 90s throwback done with love. There's nothing cynical or ironic about this it's just fun as hell!

Last Hurrah - Bebe Rexha: Get a fucking load of this Bebe Rexha song that interpolates Buy U A Drank by T-Pain for the chorus! It's a testament to how good that song is that she's using the verse melody as the chorus. T-Pain will quite literally never get the respect he deserves. Also this song goes for 2.5 minutes. There's something happening where pop songwriting is getting more and more compact, completely trimming the fat and ornamentation and it's very interesting.

Hi Bich - Bad Bhabie: Also I'm fully six months late on Hi Bich but I'm of the opinion that it's extremely fucking good. A perfect little reaction gif of a song and it only goes for 1m45!

Friends - Flume: I'm doubling down on my thesis about emo rap from last month but this song literally sounds like a Flume remix of a Hawthorne Heights song. The whole melody of it, the overlapping yelled/clean vocals. The lyrics obviously. I don't know it's just very odd how close it is. A sort of emo trojan horse to trick people into thinking The Used are cool again. 

How To Build A Relationship (feat. JPEGMAFIA) - Flume: I've been meaning to check out JPEGMAFIA (AKA Buttermilk Jesus AKA DJ Half-Court Violation AKA Lil' World Cup) for a while but this is the song that convinced me. There's just so much to digest in this. Every line is gold and delivered with massive conviction even when he realises it's total nonsense like 'dont call me unless I gave you my number'.

Bells & Circles (feat. Iggy Pop) - Underworld: Underworld alive 2019?? I love this song becuase Iggy Pop has been riding a fine line between punk provocateur and old man yells at cloud for a while now and this song is the perfect mix of both. You can't hijack airplanes and redirect them to cuba anymore and as a result it's over for liberal democracies. Just yelling about air travel for six minutes and it's good.

Guns Blazing (Drums Of Death Pt. 1) - UNKLE: This beat is some of my favourite DJ Shadow work I think. The menacing organ bass throughout, and especially the distorted drum freakout near the end. It's just great all the way through.

Homo Deus IV - Deantoni Parks: Another Deantoni Parks track like I was raving about last month. This whole album is great and flows together as a single piece of work amazingly. I love the purposefully limited sample palette of each track forcing an evolving groove throughout. He absolutely wrings every bit of variation he can get out of every single sound he uses and once you get into the groove of it it's absolutely mind blowing.

Boredom - The Drones: I love that The Drones can write a song about joining ISIS that's also a lot of fun. Spelling out radicalization in a way anyone can understand and sympathise with and then switching it in the second verse to spell out how we got into this situation anyway. 

Loinclothing - Hunters And Collectors: I love how much this song sounds like a voodoo celebration in christian hell.

The Fun Machine Took A Shit And Died - Queens Of The Stone Age: There's a good bit on the live dvd they put out after Lullabies To Paralyze where they play this song and they say it was supposed to be on the album but somebody stole the master recordings from the studio, which is an incredible and brazen crime. Then when they put it out on Era Vulgaris as a bonus track Josh Homme said in an interview "The tapes got lost. Actually, they were just at another studio, but we falsely accused everyone in the world of theft" which is extremely funny. This is really one of their best songs and I sort of really with it had been on Lullabies because it fits perfectly between The Blood Is Love and Someone's In The Wolf type of vibes, I love how it just kind of keeps shifting ideas and riffs throughout. An absolute jam overflowing with ideas.

10AM Automatic - The Black Keys: This song is an all time great in my opinion. It's so straightforward and so effective. I wonder if we'll get a blues rock revival ever or if Jack White still being alive and bad is souring everyone on that idea. This song also has one of my favourite guitar sounds in history I think - the outrageously huge sounding solo that comes out of nowhere and swallows up the rest of the mix like a swirling black hole near the end.

Gamma Knife - King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard: I've never gotten much into King Gizzard and because of their one million albums already it's hard to know where to start but I've been listening to Nonagon Infinity a bit and it's great, it's just good old fashioned 70s prog jams front to back.

Gina Works At Hearts - DZ Deathrays: I absolutely love this song and I absolutely love the second guitar sound in the chorus of this song that sounds like it's made out of thin steel.

Black Brick - Deafheaven: When I saw Deafheaven the other month I was right up the front and it was a life changingly great experience AND they played this new song live for the first time before it went up everywhere like three hours later which was very exciting to be given a sclusie like that. After they finished a guy behind me whispered to his friend "Slayer..." which was very funny to me.

Gemini - Elder: I found this band because one of my Spotify Daily Mixes was all stoner metal for a while, which is a good genre to see all lined up because it'll have Weedeater, Bongripper AND Uncle Acid & The Deadbeats right there in a row for you. Anyway this album is extremely good, the very best kind of stoner metal where it's groovy and fun and has big meaty riffs and ripping big solos and it's extremely easy to listen to three times in a row.

The Paradise Gallows - Inter Arma: My big obsession the past little while has been Inter Arma ever since Stereogum posted The Atavist's Meridian from their new album. It is just so fucking good and I can't believe I've never heard of them before. You know when you find out about an amazing band and then you find out they've been around for nearly ten years and you can't believe everyone in your life has been selfishly hiding them from you?

The Atavist's Meridian - Inter Arma: I think a big part of my enjoyment of this band has also been that I discovered them at the same time as I'm listening to an audiobook of the complete Conan The Barbarian omnibus so I'm very much in the brain space for music that sounds like it would be nice to swing an axe to.

Untoward Evocation - Impetuous Ritual: I love how halfway through this kind of just turns into a big swirling mist of dark sounds. It feels so formless and dark that it could just shake apart and dissipate at any moment and you'd look down to realise your skin is gone.

Eagle On A Pole - Conor Oberst: from Genius: 'In an interview with MTV news, Oberst stated “We were on the bus one day and a friend of ours that travels with us and works for the band kind of came out from the back of the bus and said that first line: ‘Saw an eagle on a pole… I think it was an eagle.’ And then this guy Simon Joyner, who is a great songwriter from Omaha and one of my great friends, he was on tour with us and sitting there and he was like, ‘You know, that’s a great name for a song.’ We kind of had a contest where he wrote a song with that first line, and [then] I did, and a couple of our other friends. We kind of all played them for each other. Simon’s is better than mine, but it is a good line to start a song.” Another version–Mystic Valley Band drummer Jason Boesel’s interpretation–is on the next album, Outer South.' The idea that such a good song has such a braindead origin only makes me love it more.

Lake Marie - John Prine: When I saw John Prine the other month he played this song that I had never heard before and I had to look it up after and now I'm completely obsessed with it. It feels like falling asleep during a movie and missing a critical plot point so the rest doesn't make sense when you wake up but is thrilling nonetheless. Also he absolutely screamed "SHADOWS!!!" when he played it which was a fucking cool thing to see a 72 year old man do.

Little White Dove - Jenny Lewis: The drums on this whole album are absolutely huge for some reason and I love it. My favourite recent sound is in the first chorus where there's a funny little pitch correction noise as she sings 'dove'. It's very strange and very very good.

Locked Up - The Ocean Party: I only found out The Ocean Party existed as they announced their farewell show this month which is a real shame but I'm glad I got to hear of them at all because they're very good. A very good song about that feeling we all know and love: driving for a long long time.

Plain & Sane & Simple Melody - Ted Lucas: I found out about this song from Emma Ruth Rundle's Amoeba Records video and she makes a good point about this whole album sounding like something's gone wrong and it got accidentally pitched down slightly in the recording process. It's unclear if that's what happened or that's just how he sounds but it adds a very softly spooky undercurrent to a very nice song.​ 

listen here

[sashatrr]

Breathe with me. Chapter 16b

Chapter 16a here

Liam and Lina spent  few more days in Antwerp, mostly staying in their suite or visiting different pubs. 

Friday night they checked out and drove to Brugge. 

Next day Lina instantly fell in love with this city. She was charmed by everything. Neat streets, ancient buildings and bridges, white painted carriages pulled by horses, charming cafes all over the streets and small souvenir stores. 

She couldn't resist and bought a few laced tablecloths and napkins. In the end, Brugge was famous  for it. Endless chocolate stores that were selling chocolate in any form, including those that you wouldn't buy for  you kids. 

That part Lina found the most amusing. 

They bought all possible kinds of  chocolate candies, pralines, in Leonidas and some cute looking, but useless for both of them antique bells, ashtrays and candlestick on swap meet. 

Lina tried to stop Liam when he was buying a fifth candlestick but he shrugged it off. 

-We are just shopping for  home - He said adding three 18th century jewelry boxes to the bunch he already picked. 

They spent day in a park. Liam laid a blanket in the grass by the river in a trees shadow. A weather was hot and lots of people came out to get some chill by the water. They spent all day napping, reading books on their phones or lazily talking about everything and anything. 

Only now Liam fully accepted the fact that he was totally in love with Lina. He was terrified and happy at the same time. The connection they formed in New York, was growing stronger with each passing day. 

It was a new level of relationships. Before it was mostly physical attraction that grew only stronger, but at the same time, as they were learning more about each other, Liam was more and more attracted by her personality. 

She was so different from the women he used to be with. They always remembered who were they dating, except of Vivien. With them he always knew that he must give something in return, that they expect favors for their families, sooner or later they will try to take advantage. 

Vivien never asked for anything, never tried to use their relationships or persuade him into anything but also he never had a deep feelings for her. With Lina he always knew, he felt that she wants him for himself, she always saw a man in him, not the crown, money or influence. Now and then she was even snapping at him or treating him just like regular man. He would lie if he said that he isn't enjoying it. 

In a few more days they continued their trip and went to Gent. It was a less impressive city than Antwerp or Brugge. Brugge would always remain  Lina's favorite because of its special atmosphere but she enjoyed Gent as well. The city center was small and cozy. Two days were enough to explore it fully. 

They visited a medieval castle, Gravensteen. It was mostly empty inside so Lina had to use her imagination to picture everything that the voice in headphones was telling about each room and events that took place here during different times. It wasn't the usual boring historical lecture but a funny one. The last room was showing all kinds of executions and the voice was telling her about several examples of it that took place in this castle. Off course, there was also a story of a witch hunt. After visiting a castle, they ate Belgian waffles in the street cafe and returned to the hotel. 

-What do you say if we go to Amsterdam next?-Liam asked at the dinner. 

Lina winced and shook her head. 

-Liam, don't get me wrong, this trip is amazing, I never expected to come here at all but it's overwhelming. I am sure that if we visit one more city, It will all mix up in my head. Actually, it already did. 

-Then what do you say if we spend next two weeks on the beach? - Liam himself was a bit tired of constant change of places and flow of impressions. He already visited most of those places in the past but now, being here with Lina, seeing it with her eyes like for a first time, he felt just as overwhelmed as her. 

-As long as there won't be any tours, I am in. - Lina agreed. - I guess I'll go shopping for bikini tomorrow. 

-Doubt that you will find anything decent here. I suggest we stop in Paris for day or two.-Liam suggested. 

-Really, Liam? - Lina arched an eyebrow chuckling. - Shopping for bikini in Paris? I am sure that I can find something here. 

-I promise you, there will be no tours in Paris unless you will want to see some landmarks.

-You are to much-Lina said giving up. It must be nice to go to Paris for bikini shopping on a whim. That was his life.

Lina was so used to having Liam all for herself, to walking holding hands with him, to shopping together, to eating in street cafes and other things that normal couples enjoyed, that she kept forgetting most of the time who was he. It felt right and natural. Her feelings grew stronger every day but sometimes her inner angel would remind her that what they have is not real, she borrowed her time with him from another woman. The one that was his wife, the one who had to be here with him, the one he had to hold in his arms at nights.Lina was trying to to push those thoughts away but they would return to her more and more often with each passing day. She tried not to think about the future and the time when he would have to leave her behind. Lina wanted to live in this borrowed month forever. 

Day after that dinner, Liam and Lina boarded jet in Brussels Airport and very soon landed in Paris. A flight was really short. 

-Wow, that was fast. - Lina said getting up from her seat.- I didn't even have a time to freak out. 

-You did great-Liam tenderly caressed her cheek and placed a gentle kiss on her lips before to lead her out of the jet to the waiting car. 

Paris was bustling with activity, hordes of tourists on the streets and endless stream of cars.

Their car stopped by a fancy looking four floors building. Liam helped Lina to get out of the car and she stared at the building. 

-We are not staying in the hotel?-she asked surprised. 

-No-Liam replied and rushed her inside. - We should be careful here, I am afraid that even sunglasses won't save me if someone will spot me here. It's one of our family residencies. 

An elevator carried them to the third floor and Liam unlocked a door leading Lina inside. 

Despite a surrounding luxury, Lina found herself calm and not so impressed as she would be just some weeks ago. She was getting used to this lifestyle and it was scaring her. 

It was a two level apartments surrounded by terrace that was opening a breathtaking view on les Champs. Lina and Liam spent the night in another conversation learning more and more about each other, enjoying the view and  two bottles of Chateau Lafite. Nor Liam or Lina wanted to think about what will happen later. He knew that going back to his reality, Palace, Madeline and his duties will be a difficult process but he was pushing those thoughts aside. A life of ruler was demanding from him to sacrifice much of his heart desires but never in his life he felt so helpless  as in the moments when he thought about his life after this so called honeymoon. 

Next morning a car took them to Galeries Lafayette where Liam headed straight to Lafayette Coupole where, despite Lina's protests, they purchased much more than one bikini. 

-Baby, it's ridiculous  to come all the way to the Paris just for one bikini.

They went from one boutique to another leaving each with a few bags and boxes of clothes, shoes, lingerie or accessories. 

Lina felt helpless not wanting to cause a scene or to get into the fight, but decided that time has come for conversation with Liam. 

That night, sitting on the terrace, Lina tried to start it but either Liam didn't want to hear it or simply couldn't understand her feelings about it.

-Lin,there is nothing wrong with shopping. Everyone go shopping. 

Frustrated she stared at Liam. 

-There is a normal shopping and there is a Julia Roberts shopping, Liam. With only difference, I am not a prostitute you hired to escort you. 

Amazed Liam stared back at her. 

-What are you even talking about? I've got no idea and for God's sake, don't ever use that word again. 

-Pretty woman, that's what it is about. - she almost yelled at him. 

-Yes, you are a pretty woman indeed. Does it upset you? - Liam asked leading conversation away from the subject. 

-Unbelievable, you are taking a couch tonight. - Lina growled getting up from a chair. 

-Baby, not to upset you but there are three spare bedrooms here.-Liam chuckled.  

-But you are still sleeping on the couch. - she answered, headed inside and loudly smashed a door shut behind her. 

Thirty minutes later, Liam claimed his place in the bed again much to Lina's pleasure. Her anger faded away approximately five minutes after shutting a bedroom door. She already missed him. 

Following morning it was still dark outside when Liam and Lina woke up, had their morning coffee and headed to airport. It was a long thirteen hours flight, they landed late at night and a car drove them straight to the hotel. 

Liam picked Komandoo Maldives Island Resort

because of secluded villas where he could avoid running into someone he knew or someone who could recognize him. He refused the butler and a chief  services just to be sure that there won't be anyone to leak this information to the press. 

Their villa was facing ocean and straight from their veranda they could get to the private beach. Every night they would take long walks along the shore, sometimes swimming in the ocean and making love. Some days they spent by the pool or inviting spa masseurs for couple massage.

Two weeks flew by very fast. Never in her life Lina was happier than on this island but she felt as time slips through her fingers, every morning she was waking up xmarking one more day from her mental calendar and before any of them was ready, it was time to return to New York. 

The weather back in New York was matching Liam's sullen mood. From the airport they went straight to their new apartments. 

By the door they were met by muscular looking woman in a grey suit. 

Three of them headed to the living room where Liam introduced woman to Lina. 

-Lin, it's Mara. She came here from Cordonia two weeks ago and was studying the city to prepare for her service. 

Mara extended her hand to confused girl. 

Lina shook it and looked up at Liam. 

-A service? What kind of service?- she asked him. 

-Mara will be your driver and assist you with anything you might need but my priority is to make sure that you are safe. 

-Excuse me? - after receiving no further explanation from Liam, she looked at Mara apologetically and grabbed Liam's  wrist pulling him towards bedroom. 

She loudly shut the door behind them and snapped at Liam. 

-Is she going to spy on me? - she yelled at him. - What does it mean? What gives you a right to assign your personal spy to me? - Lina grabbed a pillow from couch and threw it in Liam's  direction.

Reflectively, Liam caught it and threw pillow back on the couch. 

-Whoa, calm down, Lin. Nobody is going to spy on you. I already explained that she is only here to help and protect you. - Liam tried to defend himself. Maybe that was a bad decision but he knew that he won't sleep at nights imagining her being thousands of kilometers away from him all by herself. 

-Protect me from what, Liam? I survived for twenty three years all by myself. I know how to cross the road and use a subway. Why all of sudden I need extra protection? Because I am your mistress? - she spat out a last word. - Did I fall asleep and suddenly woke up in fifty shades of grey? Where is your red room then? 

Liam was struggling to keep up with Lina, he heard that combination of words before but couldn't recall what was that about. 

-What Red room? Which shades? What are you talking about? - he asked trying to sound calm but not defensively. 

-It's a movie, Liam. A kincky billionare falls in love with a simple girl. Only he wasn't married and had more respect for her than you show for me.-Lina stopped herself in time before next words would leave her lips. 

Despite being angry, she knew that some words you could never take back. She didn't want to make any threats, especially since she knew that no power in this world can make her to leave him right now. 

She had no idea how to make him to listen, how to make him to ask her before to make a decision for both of them. For a third time he failed to keep his word and discuss his decisions with her. 

-How am I disrespecting you? I am taking care of you! We already discussed it and you were fine with it! - Liam snapped back. 

-I wasn't fine with it! And we didn't discuss it! You promised me not to decide anything without me before we flew to Europe but it's a second time you are doing it since then. - Lina grabbed a pillow from the couch again and began to beat it on his chest making him to step back with each hit. 

Liam teared a pillow from her hands, threw it on the couch and quickly moved behind Lina. He caught her hands with his, pressed them to her lower belly holding her tight against his body. 

-I apologised, baby. And I promise you that she is not here to spy on you. I will feel better all the way there knowing that you are not alone in New York. - He tried to make Lina to look at it from his point of view. 

-I am not alone, Liam. I have my family and Nicci. I'll be all right. I don't want your spies here with me. - she began to calm down a bit. 

-That's our first. - Liam chuckled into her hair. 

-First what? - Lina asked. 

-First fight, off course.-Liam beamed all proud of himself. 

-First of many if you won't stop this. I refuse to be followed by your spy, call her whatever you like. 

Liam felt that storm has passed and led Lina back to the living room. 

-Mara, from this moment on you will be taking orders only from Lina. You can not… spy on her-he shot Lina a look-and you can't give me any information without her consent. 

-Understood, sire. - Mara nodded. 

-You can go now.-Liam dismissed her and waited till she walked down the hall and disappeared from a view. 

-Are you feeling better now? - he asked Lina. 

-No, mister Grey. - she replied with sarcasm in her voice.-Bit it's a start. Just know now that if you misbehave, I will send Mara after you. - she chuckled. 

Rest of the day flew by like one second. Their fight was quickly forgotten. Both knew that it will be their last night together until Liam could find a time for another visit. 

Next morning after breakfast Liam changed from his jeans, that became his casual clothes during past month, into suit. Sad Lina was watching him, following his every move with her gaze. Her heart was bleeding. She couldn't imagine how can she live without his constant presence in her life now. The future looked grey, rainy and depressing without him. 

Liam kept a blank face but his emotions and thoughts were similar to Lina's. He only hoped that he can dive into the work to survive those first days until he learns to live without her again. He hoped that it will become easier with each passing day but deep inside he knew that it won't. 

Lina walked him to appartments door and rose on her tiptoes to give him a lingering kiss on the lips. 

-I am bad at saying good bye. I'll miss you. - she said swallowing back tears.

 -I will come as soon as I can, I promise. I'll miss you too, baby. Take care of yourself. I… - he stopped himself before he would add anything else and pulled her into tight embrace. After a few long minutes they parted and Liam walked out of the door. 

Next chapter

@indiacater @drakesensworld @annekebbphotography @hopefulmoonobject 

@jared2612 @carabeth @dcbbw

[junkyardlynx]

You like scary stories? Good. I’ve got one. Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, or whatever. Who fucking knows. Honestly, I’m not entirely sure it wasn’t just one shared fever dream between seven stupid kids. Except the part where the dream was real. Has to be real now that I think about it. Anyway. I’m rambling. About all I can do, right now. Haha. How sad. 

The year was 1998.

Good year.

Goldeneye came out in 1997, so it was really the year 0001 AG to me and my friends. We fucking loved Goldeneye.

I was seventeen and I lived alone in a small town in northwest Indiana. It’s farm country’s farm country. I’d been orphaned and bounced around since I was ten, but being nearly eighteen and relatively well-behaved was reason enough for the state to turn me loose with my inheritance. Quitters. You could stand at one edge of the town and spit to the other end. We had one bar, an elementary school, a post office, a vet, and a corner store. It sucked, but it was cheap and somewhat near the only living family I still had. I lived just above the post office and vet, which was probably the only really neat part of town, so I guess I had something going for me. Add a shitty 1988 Ford Probe bought at cost from a frustrated dealership into the mix and I was up street.  

My uncle Mike lived alone too, a forty minute drive away out by the county line road. He had a pretty nice farm house to himself after my aunt Sherry filed for divorce due to her own extramarital affair. I guess when you’re surrounded by woods on all sides and the only things to keep you company are a host of chickens, a couple turkeys, a goat, a dog, and a...fucking peacock, you kinda get antsy for some excitement. I suppose a two story barn and a grain silo aren’t exciting enough. Anyway. They hadn’t taken me in after my parents died because they had their own problems and I understood. Couldn’t force a kid on someone who wasn’t going to take proper care of it.

Mike was headed into the city for the weekend to shack up with this girl he was into. He did this from time to time, too awkward to ask her to move in with him and too shy to accept her offer, so they just had their trysts. Wasn’t really my business. He called me after I got home on Friday from classes and immediately launched into his request.

“Hey killer, I’m going to see Mary this weekend. Can ya hold down the fort for me? Just feed the animals once a day and don’t let Garfield eat anything dumb.”

“Uh, sure.” 

Garfield was the goat’s name.

I watched him eat the license plate off “Uncle” Van’s...van, once. His name was Van, he was a friend of Mike’s aaaaaand he owned a van. I guess life works like that sometimes, predictable and all. Anyway, Garfield would eat literally fucking anything near his big dumb idiot mouth, like most goats. 

“And uh, I think there’s a bunch of beer in the fridge that’s gonna go bad. Could you do me a favor and get rid of it, bud?”

I could hear the wink through the receiver. I grinned as I pinned the receiver between my shoulder and ear, rummaging around through the cupboards to find my little book of phone numbers.

“Oh yeah, sure thing. Wouldn’t want to have bad beer hanging around in the fridge.”

“That’s what I’m talking about. It better all be gone when I get back. Love ya, kid.”

“Love you too, man. Have a good weekend.”

With an audible click, the other line hung up and I was already dialing people’s numbers. Robert was first, as he was my best and most radically tight brother-man. 

“What’s up, Dingus Kong?” 

Ever since he was twelve, he had the voice of a full-time, carton-a-day smoker. I was honestly a little jealous.

“There’s a beer leak at my uncle’s and we have to plug it up. Call Louis and Alex and make their dumb asses come out. You know the address?”

“Hell yeah, dude. Can I invite Jay?”

“What do I look like, a cop? Of course you can. Saves me the trouble.”

“Cool, later dickless.”

“Peace.”

It wasn’t long until I’d roped Robert, Louis and Jay into things, along with Alex, Laura and June. Alex and Louis had been dating forever and were pretty much attached at the hip, while I had a thing for June. A very quiet, subdued thing, because I operated under the assumption that no one was ever interested and that any thought to the contrary was pointless and asking for trouble. 

We met up at my uncle’s house around 9. They’d pitched in and brought a shit ton of snacks but no one brought any actual food, so our diet that night was going to consist of...Natty Light, snack cakes and chips, pretty much. High school kids eat worse on a daily basis, so no one really cared. I remember being shocked at just how packed the fridge was with shitty Natty Light. Good thing I had good friends.

It was a pretty relaxed atmosphere - Louis and Alex were touchy in the corner of the living room, already a couple beers deep. Robert, Laura and Jay were playing Goldeneye on the Nintendo 64 in the den. They had a penalty game where you had to drink when you died and if you were that fucking prick that picked Oddjob, you both had to take a drink at the start of the round and two when you died. It was fair, believe me. Fuck people who pick Oddjob. 

That pretty much just left June and I. We relaxed in the kitchen, shooting the shit and laughing at each other’s bad jokes. Sometimes we’d look out over the kitchen counter and down into the den / living room - the farm house’s design was always kind of odd to me, but I liked it. The whole house was a one story with a basement. You could come in through the glass sliding door and be right in the living room / den area, then turn right and go up four or five stairs to reach the bedrooms and the turnoff into the kitchen / office area where the front door was. The kitchen had a very open structure, with the sink looking down on the den, and you kinda felt like a commander if sat there and just watched everyone. So I did.

“Hey, Charles?” 

“What’s up?” 

I turned back towards June, taking another sip from that honestly kinda shitty beer in my hand. Ah, the taste of youth - cheap alcohol obtained through immoral or subversive means, like a really cool uncle.

“We should go out to the barn.”

“Why the hell and fuck not?” 

I put on some bravado, but honestly, my uncle’s farm creeped me out. I’d stayed here for the summer once and I swore I could hear things swaying in time with the tall grass as the sun started to die. An animal would go missing every now and then, but my uncle always shrugged it off as coyotes. Never really felt like coyotes, but who was I to disagree when he was the one that lived here all the time?

“Hey, everyone! We’re going outside, time to get up in the hayloft and be stupid.”

I heard a chorus of replies and the click-whrrr of a tube television being powered off, followed by a rowdy collection of feet stomping up carpeted steps. Everyone poured into the kitchen, grabbing things like twinkies and cold hot dogs and new beers. It wasn’t long before we took the party outside, flicking the floodlights on the house on for comfort as much as visibility. We ambled as a drunken mass, slowly making our way towards the faded red barn. 

I have no idea why the barn was so fucking huge, given that less then ten animals lived there. The space was equipped for a sizable amount of large livestock like cows and horses, but all that it held was a collection of idiot birds with too much love and not enough sense. A ladder leading up to the hayloft poked through a square, and we began our inebriated ascent. 

It wasn’t long before we settled into a circle, talking about nothing in particular on the warm wooden floor of the loft. June had taken a seat next to me, so of course, I overthought absolutely everything before determining there was no way she was into me because why would she be? She was way too cool and cute. It was obvious. 

Somehow, we got onto the topic of scary stories. Spooky scary skeleton time. I made up some dumb thing about a cannibal cult in the woods, but it wasn’t very thought out, so everyone gave me shit. Robert just thrust his beer into the air and yelled “WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE, IT’S ALIENS”, which got a laugh out of all of us. It finally came around to June, who began to tell us about La Llarona, a crying ghost lady in Mexican folklore. 

It was actually pretty spooky until you realized June was like, four foot fucking eight with the voice of an adorable church mouse, and then you were unable to take it seriously. 

We swapped a few more before silence descended on us, slow and natural. The workman’s lamps that I’d lit with a long trigger lighter burned, casting shadows along the walls and illuminating our faces. I smiled as I realized June’s head had come to rest on my right shoulder, feeling not unlike someone blessed by the attention of a regal crow.

“Dude. I’m hungry.”

“You’re always hungry, Illberto.” 

I waved him off with my left hand before looking around. Something was bothering me, but I couldn’t put my hands on it. Honestly speaking, it was kinda like someone had some bodacious body odor going on and tried to cover it up with some sort of perfume. I took as...well, as discreet a sniff as possible, trying to see if it was one of us. 

I don’t think it was, because the more I smelled it, the more I realized it smelled less like body odor and more like that strange stench of death. Sickly sweet, putrefaction rendering the body of something no longer alive into components for bacteria to consume. I kinda wrote it off as dead mice somewhere since I was an idiot at 17. (I still am an idiot, but I was a bigger idiot. Harder head. More impressively stupid. Anyway.) The smell was bothering me though, so I gently pushed June’s head off my shoulder and stood up.

“Since Mr. Crunch and Munch wants some food, I’m gonna run back to the house and grab some chow and booze. Anyone want anything in particular?”

No one really had an idea of what they wanted, so the group just started chanting “FOOD AND BOOZE, FOOD AND BOOZE, FOOD AND BOOZE” at me. I laughed and nodded, giving a sort of half-wave to June who just smiled at me the whole time as I went to climb down the ladder.

Too bad the ladder was gone.

I groaned in annoyance, turning around to address everyone.

“Very cool, who fucked with the ladder?”

“What are you talking about, brother-man?”

Louis piped up, head resting on top of Alex’s. I gestured dramatically at the square hole in the floor, then pantomimed the act of climbing the ladder.

“There was a ladder here. It’s gone now.”

“It probably fell, Charlie.” 

There went Laura, being the voice of reason. I shrugged in assent. Stop making sense, god damn it.

“I’ll just pull a Spidey-boy and jump down. It’s like, ten feet.” 

Something in my head kept telling me that people can die from slipping and falling on ice, but I ignored it. I just had to brace myself, land on my feet and not hit my brain cage. Really simple. 

I walked back over to the hole in the hayloft, sitting down and scooching to the edge. That fucking smell punched me right in the nose once again, pungent and sweet. I almost stop then, but I don’t really wanna look like a goon in front of June. Uh, June and everyone else, that is.

So I stuck my foot down into the oddly deep darkness of the barn below. 

Something wet and hot smacked against it, nearly wrapping around my exposed ankle.

I yelped perhaps the most pathetic sound known to man and physically extricated myself from the hole by leaping up and jumping back. Everyone laughed of course.

“What’s up, penis pump?”

Fuck off, Robert.

“Either the turkeys have really long and slimy necks now, or something down there just grabbed my fucking ankle.”

“Very funny, Charles.” Alex fixed me with a stare, assuming I was taking the piss out of everybody. Holy fuck, I wished I was.

“I’m serious, you assholes.” I’d thrust my right leg out, showing everyone my ankle and foot. A reddish brown goop clung to it, thick and viscous. The smell was emanating from it, and everyone seemed to have taken notice to it. Unless they started retching for a different reason, like my ankle being particularly abhorrent.

“Brother-man, dude, what the fuck is that?”

You’re asking me, Louie Louie?

“Yeah, that’s a negative Ghost Rider, I have no idea. I’m gonna chill up here for a bit, if someone else feels like Rambo, they can go down.” 

I took off my button up and used it to wipe the goo off of my ankle, but the smell seemed to have set in. I noticed a burning sensation on my skin that increased in intensity as I wiped, but it soon faded to a dull throbbing, becoming the least of my worries. In that time, Louis got up to check out the hole.

 He returned to where Alex was, face pale and stiff. 

That’s when we heard it.

“veerrrryfufufufu-”

The sound stopped, then started again. Almost like someone starting a sputtering car engine.

“Verrrrry cocococococo-cokkkkkkkkkhhssssh. Wshooo fufufufufuf. Wshoooo fufufufuckt wishlatter?” 

You ever have someone come up to you and say “hey, we need to talk” and you feel your stomach drop out of your body and onto the floor? 

Yeah, that. That’s the feeling I felt, but way worse. After all, someone wanted to know who fucked with the ladder. Someone who couldn’t string together two words if they wanted to, and they desperately wanted to.

We’d all crammed ourselves into the back of the hayloft, the seven of us together. Oppressive darkness clung to the places not illuminated by the lamps, and the long lighter lay a good ten feet away from us. No one moved to get it. We heard it again and again, some twisted mockery of a voice continually asking who fucked with the ladder. Then it asked again, in my voice.

“Very cool. Who fucked with the ladder?”

Everyone’s eyes were on me, and I shook my head wordlessly as it asked again, perfectly, matching my rhythm and cadence and tone. 

“Hey, if this is a joke because you thought the Goosebumps books were high literature, we’re gonna string you up by your earlobes dude.”

“Fuck off. It’s not. You think I got bored and recorded me fucking around before you all got here? With the tape recorder I don’t fucking own?”

I was hostile.

We were all on edge.

“I don’t know, were you man?”

“Don’t start with me, Robert.”

“Yeah, whatever, you’re a lazy piece of shit. I know you wouldn’t do this.”

“I swear to god.”

The tension was almost lifted until we heard that wet smacking again, like someone slapping a steak on pavement. It was hilarious until you realized it was probably either something dead being slammed around, or some part of the mysterious thing’s anatomy. The smacking persisted as it mercifully ceased it’s questioning, realizing it’s bait wasn’t working. Slowly, the wet squelching of flesh against concrete grew quiet and far away and the stench that pervaded the air began to thin.

I appraised everyone and jerked my head back at the hole in the hayloft.

“Okay. Okay. We’re gonna drop down and run to the house.”

“Is there any better option you have that isn’t ‘jump down and say hi to the crazy stinky murder rapist’ below us?”

“Not really, Alex. Sorry.”

“Alex and I can stay up here,” Louis offered, but she looked at him with her mouth agape.

“Are you dumb, Louis? I’m not staying in that barn alone with this thing. No, really, are you an idiot?”

I looked at Louis with a kind of knowing glance, knowing he was just trying to help out and allay her fears. Couldn’t really blame her, though.

“He’s just looking out for what you want to do. Anyway, we should all go. I’ll go down first and keep a look out while everyone comes down. C’mon.”

I honestly don’t know where I found the balls of steel I was now equipped with, but I was thankful. I think it was just this overwhelming sense of “we have to go now or something bad is going to happen.” Without giving anyone a chance to reply, I broke away from our little heard and took a running start at the hole, leaping down it before my rational mind could catch up.

I let my legs hit and then tucked myself into a roll to rob the fall of it’s momentum, coming up unscathed. I glanced around, greeted by deadly...nothing. Just silence. It wasn’t until I looked at the ground that I noticed it was covered in a thick layer of that reddish-brown goop, and it stunk horribly. I started to gag but I had the sense to bite it down. No point in putting more disgusting fluids on the floor.

“Jump down! C’mon!”

I shouted up and June practically leapt into my arms, so I caught her and set her down, giving her a tender smile. She was all of four foot eight and ninety pounds, so it wasn’t really a feat of athleticism. Of course, Robert came next, and my knees buckled as his six foot frame met mine with that peculiar rapport we had. 

“No smile for me?”

“I swear, dude.”

I swore a lot, apparently.

The rest followed in suit until eight of us stood in the barn, devoid of animals as it was.  I hoped they’d just run off or sought shelter, but another part of me said that wasn’t the case. I exhaled roughly and looked at our group before nodding.

“Okay, we gotta run. I don’t know when that thing’s coming back, but I can already smell that weird stink getting stronger. I think we’ll be safe in the house since we can look the doors and call the cops.”

“Wait, cops? Dude, we’re doing a little thing called underage drinking.”

Thank you for stating the obvious, Louis.

“Oh, yeah! Way better to get murdered and eaten. You’re right.”

“Point taken.” 

We all murmured our assent before taking one last look around. The lamps burned, slowly dimming as their fuel began to run out. I think we left the lighter up there. Not that it mattered, I guess. I reached out and took June’s petite hand, tugging her gently towards the house.

“Let’s go.”

We began to do an awkward sort of power walk, too scared to run and draw it’s attention but not intent on going any slower than we had to. Our group of seven began to cut across the field, towards the shining lights of the farmhouse. 

A horrific wet SMACK from behind us broke that fragile discipline that kept us calm. A plaintive sort of gurgling howl, like a tiger braying it’s dying cry inside of a charnel pit spurred us on, and I roughly pulled on June’s hand. Her fingers slipped from mine for a moment, but her strong and lengthy fingers found mine, slick with what I assumed was sweat. I didn’t bother looking back as the warm porch lights flooded my vision. I let go of the hand I was holding and turned around to regard our group of eight, making sure everyone was there.

Wait.

Eight?

June, Robert, Louis, Alex, Laura, Jay, and myself. Seven. I glanced at my hand, realizing it was slick with that peculiar fluid. I kept the gorge rising in my throat down, somehow.

Swallowing both vomit and my fear, I began to inspect everyone before herding them inside, one by one. There wasn’t a face I didn’t recognize, but there was an extra person here. I got June, Alex, Robert, Laura and Louis into the house before I realized it. 

There were two Jays.

“Hey Jake, come inside.”

Jay kinda gave me a weird look, wondering if I was actually an idiot. The right Jay, anyway. The other one just slowly started to walk forward.

“Hey, I said Jake come inside man. Practice your manners dude.”

My stare was insistent on the real Jay’s, begging him to come in and not make a scene. He shrugged and stepped inside, and only a moment later I was behind him, slamming the sliding glass door so hard I thought I’d shatter. 

The Jay that wasn’t Jay pressed it’s face to the glass and that fetid liquid began to pour from it’s nose as it’s now-malformed hand began to tap lightly on the glass. What looked like clothes began to slough off in thick puddles of what looked to be flesh, pooling on the patio.

“Come inside. Hey. Manners. Come inside. Hey. Come inside.” 

Robert had noticed what was going on and yelled in what I’m sure he’d want me to report was a very manly and commanding shout. Basically, he screamed like a little bitch. Everyone else noticed and booked it up the sort little landing to the second tier of the house, not willing to look at what was happening anymore.

I couldn’t look away. It gently tapped at the glass,  as a second figure approached from the darkness, eventually pressing it’s face to the glass.

My face.

I watched my own face melt away into nothing, forming a featureless expanse of skin with two unseeing and empty eye sockets. The me that wasn’t me tapped politely on the glass like a door-to-door salesman, asking to be let in.

That sure wasn’t fucking happening. In a haze, I waddled backwards, reaching for the phone that sat on the coffee table by the sofa in this 70′s decor mess of a living room.

It wasn’t there. The cord lay neatly on the table, but the entire phone was gone. It looked deliberate, which means that...well, it meant that my uncle took it with him.

Something clicked in my mind, but I buried it as I pedaled backwards slowly, approaching the display cabinet that held my grandmother’s prized compound bow. I heard from my uncle that she’d been an avid hunter into her 90′s and only passed due to the ravages of...well, a car wreck. I was never more thankful to have a badass relative I’d never met than when I pulled that compound bow out of the display cabinet and nocked an arrow.

Never mind the fact that the last time I went bow hunting was when I was like, twelve.

I stared down the two creatures, still begging to be let in in my voice. My hands trembled even as I began to draw back the heavy string. God damn, grandma, how strong were you? What the hell. 

I strafed up the steps, muscles in my arms screaming for release, but I told myself that they couldn’t come in unless they were invited. It was just a glass door, and these things weren’t dumb, apparently. I don’t know what they were. I’d met strange things in the woods around the house, but never anything like this. Obviously. The surreality of it all made it seem absurd to even question what they were. 

It wasn’t until I reached the kitchen with everyone else that I could slowly release the tension and lower the bow, though I kept the arrow nocked and ready. I gave everyone in the kitchen a wary nod as they huddled together, staying deathly quiet. Looking over the kitchen counter and down into the den, I could see one still tapping on the glass. The other was gone.

A soft knock at the door by the office let us know where the other had wandered off to. It repeated a broken string of words in my voice, asking to be let in, saying it was very cool. It’d be humorous if it wasn’t fucking terrifying. 

Wordlessly, I huddled everyone back into the hallway and lead them to my uncle’s room, unlocking it with the key I had. It was the furthest bedroom away from everything else and had a clear line of sight to the hallway, so if they somehow broke their self-imposed rules, I could at least take a steady shot. The door creaked open and the bedroom lay before us as I flipped on the light.

My uncle’s room was surprisingly sparse and barren. No personal effects remained and you could tell where the furniture had been moved in a hurry, like someone was looking for something. It gave the feeling of someone that wasn’t coming back, and the discontent in my heart grew. 

“Yeah, think he’s been moving stuff over to his girlfriend’s place.” 

I said to no one in particular, placating questions before they could come out. A barren mattress lay on a box spring in the corner.

“Let’s stay in here tonight. It’s not gonna be comfortable, but a couple of people can take the bed and the rest of us can take the floor. I’ll keep watch.”

“Charles...”

Robert sounded concerned for once. I laughed. I glanced back and his face soured before he smiled.

“Nevermind, you’re still a penis pump.”

Everyone, still slightly drunk and nervous, began to occupy their own space in the empty room. I sat against the open doorframe, bow laying on my lap, trained down the hallway. Minutes slipped into hours, and everyone began to pass into a light sleep.

Everyone except me.

The sight of the flesh sloughing off their mutable frames was burned into my mind. Not much sleep to be found after that.

Throughout the night, I heard taps all around the house, like a diligent inspector checking for termites in wood. If I strained my sleepless ears, I could hear my own voice rattling through the walls. The deathly sweet stench of the barn had returned, permeating my brain and setting up residence there. 

Once or twice, I thought I heard tapping and murmuring at the single window in my uncle’s bedroom, but surely that wasn’t possible. It was a good eight feet of the ground, as the room sat on the second “tier” of the house. I dozed for a moment and the tapping seemed to grow more and more furious, so I shook myself awake. I began to dig the bowstring into my finger, rubbing it up and down, fraying my own skin until it bled. 

I felt like I was going to go insane. 

A few long hours later and the sun began to rise, banishing the tapping noise with it and the scent after that. I rose, looking around at the sleeping faces of my friends, relieved. I looked around the empty room once more and went to close my eyes before I realized there was reddish goop smeared on the window of my uncle’s bedroom. 

I’d been watched, all night.

All of us had. 

How many had there been?

Enough to replace us?

Did it matter?

Adrenaline flooding my exhausted body, I crept around the house and checked every window, every door. They were all smeared with handprints, fingerprints, imprints of faces traced in that corpse-goo. My stomach roiled heavily, the beer and junk food of the night before threatening to come up.

We were supposed to be a sacrifice, weren’t we?

The copious amounts of beer. The lack of a phone. My uncle’s personal effects all gone from his room. I suppose the rest, even grandma’s bow, was replaceable to him. Including me.

I woke everyone up and told them we should leave. No one fought it, considering we’d survived the night by listening to me. It was a sort of hollow and empty accolade, but I’d take it. 

As Robert and June piled in my Ford Probe outside, I snuck a peek at the barn. Dark red stains and the remnants of feathers, fur and flesh stained the outside of it’s semi-dilapidated structure, as if the animals had been killed by being thrown at the walls in anger. I swallowed dryly, realizing what those wet thuds and smacks had been. 

We spent the rest of the weekend together, all seven of us. One night at Robert’s, the rest of the day at June’s. I tried several times to contact my uncle, but his girlfriend’s landline was disconnected and his emergency cell phone wasn’t picking up. 

Abandoned twice by the family that wouldn’t even take me in, I guess. 

I never found out what those things were. My uncle’s house was marked as abandoned and reclaimed by the bank, eventually being sold at auction for dirt cheap. I didn’t care. I’d stayed away from the forested areas and anywhere approaching natural, and even took to a vegetarian diet for a few months. 

Eventually the memory faded, and years later I had almost forgotten about it. Life went on, and I remained in that cozy little apartment above the vet’s office and the post office. 

Until tonight. 

When I smelled something sticky-sweet, like what the insides of a pitcher plant must be.

Where something tapped at the door to my apartment, begging to be let in. 

Where my own voice begged me to be let in.

[karij]

OCtober Writing Prompts  Day 6 - Dreams and Aspirations

A memory from 21 years ago, when Karri was 12 years old.

Griff came home! He’s been gone for ages on his trip. He was in Waterdeep for a few years after he turned 20. He was working for papa and Mr. Braun, helping them make trade deals with merchants in the city. I didn’t see him much but he came home sometime and he always had stories to tell, and presents too. One time he brought me a belt knife with a handle made of pretty green stone, but mama took it away. She said I could cut myself so I could have it when I was older. It’s been 3 years and she still hasn’t given it back. She treats me like I’m a baby, but I’m 12 years old. It’s not fair. Griff brought me a ring next time. It’s pretty but I know he bought something mama would let me keep. I keep it in my box with the other things he’s brought me. 

I like the presents, but I like the stories better. Griff saved all the money he made working for papa and Mr. Braun and went on a trip all the way across the ocean. He went to Shavay! He says that it’s really different there. It’s hot and bright and filled up with sand. It’s like being at a beach he says, but instead of ocean waves there’s just rolling sand (he calls them dunes) as far as you can see. Farther, even. He told me he met a man who had a cat with stripes on his back like the Fletchers’ tomcat (his name is Chops, ‘cause he has super fluffy fur on the sides of his face) but this cat was the size of a lion! Bigger even! He said he saw a big blue dragon fly over him so he had to hide in the sand. He also said he saw a animal that was the size of a house and it had big floppy ears (bigger than me!) and it had two white horns on its face and a long nose that it could fill up and then drink out of like a cup. I think he made that one up though. 

There’s a story I don’t get to hear. Mama and papa made me leave before he told it, but Harri and Elli had to leave to. I think was a grownup story. I want to listen at the door but Elli told me was gonna tell on me if I didn’t stop. Traitor. I would have told her and Harri too but she says Mama said no. She never lets me get away with stuff. Probably why mama puts her in charge when I’m feeling sick and she has to go out. Cadi lets me play in my room when I’m not feeling good but Elli makes me stay in bed and go to sleep. One time she held my nose and made me swallow a bunch of valerian root since I wouldn’t take a nap. It was super gross and I didn’t wake up for like 3 days. Mama freaked out and wouldn’t let me out of her sight for ages after that. Elli got in big trouble for getting into mamas medicines though, serves her right.

They’re opening up the door now, I guess the story is over. I missed the whole thing, ugh. Rollo and Griff and the others are coming out. Are we done with stories for now? I run up to Griff and grab his hand, bouncing on my toes. 

“Griff! Are you going somewhere? Can I come with? Please?”

Griff grins and reaches down to ruffle my hair, I grin back and blow my hair out of my eyes.

“I’m heading to the Stag-Horned Flagon with Rollo and Martyn. I don’t mind you coming along kiddo, what about you Rollo?”

“Fine by me. Martyn?”

“I don’t mind… What do you think Ma? Pa?”

Dangit Martyn, why did you have to ask mama? Maybe I can still make this work. I turn to mama and put on the most desperate, excited face that I can. Puppy eyes don’t work for me. If mama thinks I’m tired or upset she’ll make me stay home and sleep. I hop from foot to foot, hands clasped in front of me pleadingly, my eyes wide and pleading. 

“Mama, can I go? Pleeeease? I don’t feel sick or tired, and I promise I’ll be good. Honest!”

Mama frowns and my heart sinks, she’s about to say no. I just know it. Then she sighs and turns to Papa, “What do you think El? Should I let her go?” 

Papa rubs his chin, “I dunno, do you think she’ll behave herself?”

I hop over to papa so fast I almost trip, nodding my head vigorously, “I’ll be good papa, I promise! I want to hear the rest of Griff’s stories. I’ll listen to Rollo n’ Griff n’ Martyn, I will! Please just let me go papa!” I want it so bad I’m shaking. I hear a tiny giggle and see that Cadi is covering her mouth with her hand. I squint suspiciously, are they making fun of me?

But there’s more important things. I swivel back to papa, trying my best to contain my anxiety. What if he says no? But… hey! He’s biting his lip, he’s trying not to laugh! I take a step back and look around, glaring at everybody. They’re all trying not to laugh! I cross my arms, put on my cross face, and stomp my foot on the floor.

“Hey, you’re all making fun of me!” I huff in annoyance, “That’s not nice. Big jerks.”

They all give up. They’re all giggling, then they’re all laughing at me! No fair, they all teamed up to trick me! Even Elli and Harri are laughing! They all knew! That’s cheating! I stand there fuming while they laugh, then as they calm down mama comes over to me, still giggling softly. 

“Allright Karri, you can go with your brothers. Just be good for them, okay?”

“Really?” My eyes get wide as saucers, I smile and hug her around her waist as tight as I can, “Thank you mama! I’ll be good! Thank you, thank you!” I get to go! I never get to go! This is the best night ever. Wait, what am I gonna wear? I gotta get dressed! I pull away from mama, still bouncing in excitement, and dash up the stairs two at a time. Mama calls up after me.

“Slow down Karri! You’re gonna trip and hit your head!”

“Yes mama!” I yell back, slowing down and taking the stairs one by one. She’s right, I get to go out! Can’t risk messing that up by bonking my noggin. Gotta be careful.

I hurl myself out of my clothes and yank on my best blue dress. I get to go out! I gotta look good. I tug a brush through my bright-red hair so I don’t look like a big tangle of yarn. Am I forgetting anything? I look around. I go to the window and struggle to open it. It’s heavy for me. I manage to crack it open and a stiff wind breathes through. I shiver, it’s chilly out. I shut the window. Mostly. It gets stuck, okay? 

I look around for my coat but I don’t see it. It’s not in my chest either. When I look up, I see mama’s shawl on the bed. Well, my shawl. The one that was mamas. Its mine now. But I don’t want to wear that out. It’s warm and stuff but it’s… wearing your mamas shawl is for little kids. Not for grown ups. I get to go out with the boys I should look like a grown up. I look away from it. But then I look back. It is cold outside… and mamas shawl is really warm. And soft. And pretty.

I pull it around my shoulders. The pale blue looks nice with my dress. I should pin it with something though. Ooh! I got it! I run over to my bed-table and pull open the drawer to get my little box. Griffs ring is way too big for my finger, it doesn’t even fit mama and my fingers are way littler than hers are. But maybe… yeah! I pull the ends of my shawl through the ring and stick a little silver pin through them. Silver ring, silver pin, yeh. I look good! And I gotta look good, because I get to go out. Now I’m ready.

“Karri, you ready? We gotta get going!”

That’s Rollo. Everyone’s waiting on me, oops! I scuttle my way out of my room and down the stairs as fast as I can. Rollo, Griff, and Martyn all have their coats and are ready to go. Mama comes over to me, she has my coat. She holds it out towards me with one hand. 

“Looking for this?” She looks down at me and smiles, “I think you look very nice, but would you prefer your coat dear?”

I look down at mamas shawl, draped around my shoulders. It’s too big for me, it makes me look even smaller than I already am. But it’s warm and… it’s mine. I shake my head and look down, blushing slightly.  

“No. I’m okay mama. Thank you.”

“Alright then.” Her smile widens just slightly. She reaches down and adjusts my shawl, repinning it so it fits more snugly around my shoulders, like a hug. She cups my cheeks in her hands and kisses my forehead. Blegh, I blush and pull away and scrub at my forehead. She laughs. “Have fun baby girl, be safe.” I’m not a baby, but I nod anyways and scamper over to Griff and the others so we can head out to the Flagon. I get to go out! 

The night goes fast. We have a really tasty stew for dinner at the Flagon, and I get to have a big cup of cider! It’s almost as big as my head! My brothers all have ales, but I’m not old enough to get one. Not that I want to, cider is yummy and ale tastes like butts. Or at least that’s what Harri said after he got in trouble for sneaking one of papa’s ales. Griff gets out his manto… his… mandi… his instrument and played songs he learned on his trip! I sat on Rollo’s lap and clapped and sang along, then Rollo laughed and set me up on top of the table! He said I had to dance for my supper, so I did. It was embarrassing but it was really fun too. I was so tired by the end of it. I plopped back onto Rollo’s lap and sat there while he and Martyn clapped along. 

I guess I fell asleep at some point because when I woke up I was in my room. Rollo was carrying me to my bed. I was in my nightgown, I guess he changed me into it but I wasn’t embarrassed, he’d taken me swimming in Horse Pond too many times for me to be shy about that. My eyes were bleary as he set me down on my bed and pulled my covers up to my chin. I smiled up at him and he smiled back down at me.

“Hey kiddo. Did you have fun?”

“Uh huh.”

“Guess we really tired you out, huh?”

I nodded, yawning hugely. 

“Allright kiddo. Do you want a light?”

The light from the doorway was coming through but once he shut it… the shadows were already getting bigger. I look over at the darkness, then turn back to him and nod, not meeting his eyes.

“...Yeah.”

“Still don’t like the dark, huh?”

“...No.”

“Allright kiddo. Well, you know what might help? I almost forgot your present.”

My eyes shot wide open, I wanted to push myself up but I was so tired. I forgot about presents! He reached into his pocket and pulled out a little ceramic pot. It was black and shiny and covered in little gold leafs. Then he pulled out a little glass bottle. He pulled the top off of the bottle and a pretty smell filled the air. Lavender? He took my lamp oil from the bed-table and filled up the little pot, then put in a tiny droplet from the bottle, and lit a wick. The pretty lit lamp lit up on my bed-table and the smell of flowers filled the room. I smiled tiredly. It was nice.

Griff smiled again, brushing my hair away from my face. 

“Do you like your present?”

“Uh-huh. Thanks Griff.”

“You’re welcome kiddo.”

“Griff?”

“Yeah sis?”

“Will you take me on an adventure someday? When I’m old enough?”

Griff hesitated, then he smiled softly, I think a little bit sadly. “Sure I will Karri. You can come with me someday, but first you have to be big and strong.”

“Then I’m gonna get as big and strong as I can. Bigger and stronger than you even.”

He chuckled and ruffled my hair. “I bet you will kiddo. Then we’ll go on that trip, together.”

I nod, smiling sleepily. “Promise?”

“I promise. Now get some rest, okay?”

“Okay. I love you Griff.” 

“I love you too Karri.” 

[wittypenguin]

War and Peace (Война и мир or ‘Voyna i mir’) [1965–67] (Post 1 of 5)

I am officially insane.

After resisting for some time, I finally caved and bought this because its price dropped by $4 on Amazon. While it really is one film in four parts, the running time of the entire thing is just under 6 hours, exclusive of intermissions. I’m watching it all in one single day.

It’s entirely in Russian and French, with English subtitles for the Russian parts only. The Russian Court of the Czars spoke French, as it was still the Lingua Franca of Aristocracy. The novel by Leon Tolstoy even reflects this reality, with the original Russian language printings apparently having the dialogue in French for those conversations, so the film adaptation honours that source material. After all, a bound copy of War & Peace is so huge that if it is correctly thrown, it can kill a man at 20 paces, so the film is (the films are) almost 7 hours in total length; so why should a simple matter of a foreign language get in the way of things?

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK AM I DOING…‽ 

Sorry… that sort of talk isn’t going to get us both through this experience, is it? 

Let’s try this getting this underway one more time, shall we?

What I’m going to do is talk about each of the four parts on their own, then do a quick ‘overview’ thing at the end about… [:: very weary sigh ::] the work as a whole. 

I might edit a bit, I may not, I may give up the will to live altogether and leap off my balcony to the sweet relief from the Russian Epic Film provided by the concrete below. 

Read on to find out what happens… won’t you?

Part I: Andrei Bolkonsky

3:06pm — it begins.

I’m drinking fizzy water with a shot of lemonade and eating nachos with salsa. FIGHT ME, PURISTS!

We start with growing thing, then trees, with music that sounds like 1950s SF film. Odd.

Now we’re flying over fields, which cross-cut to other fields using a dissolve effect that looks like a bunch of birds blocking the camera as they pass through the frame. Also odd. 

Sound of horses and battle, other sounds, then VO of unity of good men bringing strength. Okaaaay… 

Leo Tolstoy gets above the title

Bolkonsky below. 

There’s a Pyrotechnitian credit. 

More aerial shots of clouds and fields with titles

There are no subtitles for the French but I’m sort of getting this. 

Napoleon is described as the Antichrist, so John Roderick’s mom would love this part. 

Much of the important French dialogue is repeated in VO as Russian, so we get subtitles!! 🎉

Pierre: “What are you going to war for?” #######: “I don’t know. War is necessary.”

During a party, there is much disorienting handheld camera work, reflecting the drunken debauchery. 

Oh, and there’s a live bear there. He’s being given bottles to drink. Obviously.

War has been declared with France. Austria has been defeated, now Russia is taking him on. The old Hussars say that this is a good thing and no one should debate it. 

The young woman ######### is so full of joy and energy, she’s wondrous to behold. 

Pierre is illegitimate, but if the Tzar recognizes him as his father’s son (as has been asked), then he will inherit the title of Count Bezukhov. Pierre seems to be indicative of the upper-class populace at the time: torn between support of the war and entering the military, or entering the Diplomatic Corp.

We see the Father lying on his death bed, the Church Officials attending to him in some of the most ornate costumes ever presented. They put the Papal vestments to shame. 

Meanwhile we cut to people dancing and making merry, either in the same vast mansion, or somewhere else; it isn’t clear. Pierre is amongst the merry-makers. His father calls for him. Not taking his father’s hand, he watches him breathing his last. 

I am stunned at how opulent the rooms and clothing are. Periwigged servants with tailcoats and high-ceilinged rooms in blue with white woodwork seem more appropriate to the Sun King of France than early-19th Century Russia, but this certainly explains the animosity for the Usurper Emperor Bonaparte. 

There is some incredible cinematography here. Given the quality of the sets and costumes, as well as some incredible faces and performances of the actors, it’s greatly helped, but still the lighting and composition is wonderful. 

The massive crowd scenes really have to be seen to be appreciated for their epic dimension. 

Additionally, the war sequences are a tapestry of different frame rates, odd angles, and rapid changes of POV which brilliantly capture the anarchy and incomprehensible events as they pile upon one another. There are double exposures where one shot panning across a battlefield from left to right is superimposed on a pan moving in the other direction. Images go in and out of focus, sometimes clear in the centre of the frame, sometimes overall obscured as to subject. We see the battlefield both from the ground as well as hundreds of feet above, as though from a cloud or bird’s eye view, the smoke coming up to us, the patterns of troop movement moving in ever-concentric circles, as one side traps the other.

The explosions are hellacious, as flame billows into a mushroom cloud above its point of origin. The fires of any purpose — camp fires, burning bushes, cannon fire, so on — are one of the few times I’ve seen fires look real: they’re orange and light the surroundings without shadows disappearing into impenetrable blacks. It’s beautiful, though sadly showing Hell on Earth. 

At 1:36, there’s a moment where ####### imagines himself being belovèd of troops and civilians alike, but the fantasy is revealed by what seems to be a wipe from left to right, but stops in the middle, leaving him looking at the left half of the screen where his dream is taking place. I don’t think I’ve seen a split screen done that way before, or since; barring things like The Man from U.N.C.L.E. or other digitally edited films. 

It’s 5:05pm. That was only PART ONE OF THE 1st FILM? Dear God, what have I done to myself?

It’s winter! Horsies pulling a sleigh! A sleigh bearing Nikolenka home to his family, a hand-held camera following him in and around the room as he is embraced in a dance of welcome and love. Then we’re upstairs where his father(?) is still labouring away on his millwork hobby. He almost seems disappointed his son has escaped death and capture. Yet he weeps with joy, as does his daughter. 

Or maybe his son did die, those were tears of loss, and the celebration we saw was a fantasy or someone else welcoming him, or maybe someone else’s son…? I’m confused and cannot bear the thought of rewinding to find out which is the case. 

There’s a duel with pistols which is possibly the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen. Its outcome is surprising, but not impossible. It’s shot really well, too, with the viewer left caring deeply about both men, and wishing the results were far from what we see. 

Pierre — now Count — Bezukhov seems to be plagued with some sort of mental health issue; possible schizophrenia or merely an internal critical voice, but plagued he is no doubt. He staggers around repeating things in his head about how he is stupid, how others laugh at him about his wife having an affair (we have no idea if she is), and so on. 

Ah! It seems the rumour is that his wife is having an affair, but she merely enjoys the other man’s conversation and no more. Upon hearing her husband has fought a duel over the matter, she criticizes him as a fool, chastising him for being inattentive to her and to the world in general. Her taunts echo in his head as he disengages from reality, begging her to give him peace. She has been faithful to him, he suggests they part, which she yells in reply she would welcome only if he gave her a fortune. He screams at her to leave him in peace, raising a huge marble tabletop above his head, threatening to kill her with it. He is entering the part of madness where rage resides. 

Okay, so here’s the guy they thought was dead in the war, just in time to see his wife give birth. He’s arrived with the doctor, so maybe he was at someone else’s place before, or that was someone else…? I’m not sure. All of the uniforms make people look the same, and I don’t recognize the settings, so knowing one mansion from another is difficult. Look: half the time I’m looking at the set and thinking about how much I love the lamp or a writing desk, okay?

Mother of God, it’s 6:00pm and I’ve only got to THE END of THE 1st FILM‽

[:: orders pizza ::]

★★★★★

[twocupsofsuga]

His Treasure || Part 9

Pirate!Baekhyun x Reader - Series

Summary: It’s either on your knees and beg for your life or you’re walking the plank.

Absolutely NO plagiarism of my work.  

Moodboard by @byunfirstlady

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Yixing winced as he watched his captain smash another glass of bottled beer against the walls of his room.

“She escaped.” He growled loudly. “She fucking, escaped Yixing. How do you think that sounds?!”

Yixing looked down, choosing not to say anything.

Baekhyun looked at him furiously and turned around, throwing his hands in the air. “The number one thing that was meant to be here, within my grasps, managed to find a way to slip out and disappear from my sight!”

Yixing jumped when Baekhyun unexpectedly threw a chair at one corner, watching it smash to pieces with how hard it was thrown.

“How. HOW?!” Baekhyun yelled, making a beeline towards his desk that was near the window. Slumping on the seat behind it, he growled and looked down, bringing his hands up and shoving everything to the side, watching it smash to the ground.

“Why. Do. They. Always. ESCAPE?!” He yelled, slamming his hands against the table with each word. “Why. WHY??”

“Captain please…” Yixing said sighing, walking up to him. “Calm down.”

“Calm down?” Baekhyun said incredulously. “CALM DOWN??”

He stood up and marched his way up to his second in command. “If it isn’t already obvious to you, Yixing, we… have lost… the number one thing we weren’t supposed to lose! And you’re telling me to calm down?? I should have that stupid dog killed!”

Yixing gave Baekhyun a hard look. “The dog is not to blame.” He said calmly, though Baekhyun saw him clench his jaw. “It was a wrong choice that we made, and was our misjudgment, not ViVi’s Captain. We should have been more careful with our choices. We will find her, don’t worry.”

Baekhyun groaned and turned around. “FUCK!” he yelled, gripping his hair tightly with both hands as he looked down. He knew he couldn’t argue with Yixing. Even though he wanted to blame someone, anyone right now, he knew that your escape was a miscall on his side.

“Why?” he whispered, and Yixing’s eye widened at how broken he now sounded, his angry tone now completely gone. He watched in shock at his captain who now slumped down to the ground, his back towards him.

Had his ego had finally gotten the best of him? Baekhyun had really thought that he could finally contain this one, he had really thought that. But why, why weren’t things going his way?

“Captain?” Yixing called out unsure, lifting both his hands slowly as he approached his leader cautiously.

When he got no response, he grew worried.

“… Baekhyun?”

All he got was a deep sigh.

“Why do they always escape, Yixing? Why… why don’t they always last long enough? Not once have we managed to keep one of them alive, and now, for the first time, one of them has managed to run away. Tell me, what do we do, Yixing?”

Said boy looked down at his captain confidently as he kneeled down next to him and placed his hand down on his shoulder.

“We’re going to find her Baekhyun, that’s what. Sure this village is big, yes, it might be impossible to find her, that is, if we were ordinary people. But we’re not. We’re EXO. The most feared pirates on these oceans. And we’ll be damned if we don’t find her.”

Baekhyun looked at him, a dark shadow falling over his face as he nodded and walked away.

“Call in the boys.” He said as he stood up and walked out of his room. “We’ve got a new mission now.”

Yixing nodded, following him and running ahead to go and tell his other crew mates their orders.

Baekhyun walked further up the ship and went to the top deck, walking near the railings and looking out at the village before him.

The sun had since risen, the bright light slowly falling over the many houses and huts littered here and there. Glaring at the sight, the young captain growled underneath his breath.

“Ready or not kitten...

 Here I come.”

Feeling something warm washing over you, you let out a soft moan and strained to open your eyes. Shifting so that you could stretch, you let your muscles let out a small crack and let out a groan.

Sitting up from your lying down position, you rubbed your eyes to make the sleep go away and looked around.

Sleeping on a sack of potatoes behind a bricked village house in an alleyway was the last place you thought you’d ever find yourself sleeping. But here you were, neck sore from the uncomfortable make shift bed you had to sleep on with a slight headache that was going away by each second you became more awake. Let’s not also forget about the ‘blanket’ you had to cover yourself, which was an empty potato sack that smelled of moldy vegetables. But who were you to complain? This was probably a five star rating to peasants.

Sitting up more straight and leaning against the brick wall behind you, you closed your eyes and allowed the memories of last night to flood into your mind.

The pirate ship, EXO, Byun fucking Baekhyun, ViVi and you escaping. Last night you had managed to outsmart a bunch of scum pirates who thought they were better than everyone else. You managed to run deeper into the village, making sure you were far away from the docks, and far away from unwanted attention. It was then when you found this alleyway, and judging by the amount of food kept in boxes behind the building you slept, you guessed that you were probably behind a restaurant or something.

You sighed softly and opened your eyes, looking to your right when you heard laughter, and looked to see a bunch of children playing with some chickens near a small house.

That reminded you. You should probably keep a low profile around here. News sure did travel fast now days, even through some mere gossiping. And if this village was to hear about this mysterious girl who suddenly showed up claiming that she was abducted by pirates, word will surely reach Baekhyun’s ears then. And that was the last thing you wanted to happen right now.

You needed a way to blend into this place. Maybe find a place where you could take nice bath, some new clothes, perhaps maybe even some-

Your stomach let out an ugly noise before you could think any further and you blushed, glad no one was here to hear that monstrous noise.

Looking to your left, you eyes came into contact with a box full of carrots.

You made a face. Not really the classy breakfast you were looking for, but it’ll have to do for now. You did feel slightly bad for stealing though… what if-

Your stomach made another lion’s roar and you decided, ‘You know what? Fuck it.’ And grabbed a bunch of carrots, standing up and quickly running out of the alleyway.

You stumbled and covered your eyes when the full view of the sun shone down on you. ‘Damn that’s bright.’

You needed to clean the carrots before you could eat them, god knows how much dirt could’ve been on them.

Seeing a little boy running near you, you quickly called out to him, cheering mentally when he heard you and dashing over to you.

“Hey.” You said with a smile. “Do you know if there’s a pond or river nearby here?”

The small boy nodded and smiled, showing you his teeth and you could see that he was missing some. “There’s a river down that road.” He said, pointing behind you to show you a brick road.

You nodded and shot him another grateful smile. “Thanks kid!” you called out and jogged towards where he had shown you the way.

After a few minutes of walking, you let out a victorious shriek when you saw the river. Running up to it, you bent down to look at the water and beamed.

Fresh water. Awesome.

Placing down your carrots to wash them, you gave them a good clean until you deemed them worthy to be eaten. Standing up and shaking your wet sleeves, you bit into the carrot and nearly choked with how fast you were eating. Geez, you really were starving.

Once you were done with your ‘breakfast’, you walked back into what looked like to be the heart of the village, deciding to take a stroll around the area while munching on your last carrot, making sure to stay on the lookout for anyone who looked suspicious to you. Who knows, maybe Baekhyun had already sent out spies to look for you.

You passed by many shops, and you guessed that you had probably reached the shops and markets. You stared in vain at all the various amounts of food that they were selling. You pressed your face at some display glass at a nearby building that looked to be a bakery and drooled at the fresh looking bread.

You passed by many different shops, each time looking at everything with awe. This island seemed to have a lot more going on than the island in which you grew up. And since you didn’t travel much to other islands, you had no idea what to expect.

Quickly moving to the side after nearly crashing into a horse pulling a fancy looking cart, you looked up to see that you had reached a fancy looking shop selling very, very fancy looking dresses.

There were clothes for all kinds of women. Small, big, embroidered with diamonds, plain ones, dresses for skinny women and fat, and some that even looked hideous. But from where you stood from outside, the one dress that caught your attention was the one that was placed directly in the middle of the showcase.

Your eyes widened as you took in the dress. With the shade that looked exactly like the color of the sea, it really was the prettiest dress you had ever seen. It was off-shouldered, with diamonds embroidered on the top half and the bottom plain and simple, with a few diamonds scattered at the bottom. You were begging to touch the silk, but there was one thing that held you back.

The color. The turquoise-blue color. The shade of the sea.

It was a gorgeous dress. But it reminded you too much of him. Someone might even call you crazy for thinking that a dress could remind you of someone, but to you, the ocean color just brought back bad memories, ones that you wanted to forget.

If you saw this dress back on your island, then you gladly would’ve bought it, regarding the fact if you had never met Baekhyun in the first place.

You noticed from the reflection of the glass other women who passed by the dress parlor every now and then stare at the same dress you were looking at. It really was a beauty.

Two women who you saw walking behind you gave you a weird look as they inspected you from head to toe. Both of them were wearing what looked to be extremely expensive looking clothes, judging by the amount of lace and diamonds were place and scattered across the fabrics. They gave you one last look before looking at each other and bursting out into a fit of laughter as they walked away snootily.

You sighed in annoyance and looked over your clothes.

You were still wearing the clothes Yixing had last given you, albeit they were a bit dirtier now.

Looking back at the dress you frowned. So much for wanting to look pretty in this messy situation.

You were about to walk away, but then the door to the dress parlor suddenly slammed open and you jumped, letting out a yelp. Then, two voices began to yell at each other back and forth.

“No Maurice! I am telling you, cancel the order!”

“But, but Miss Se-!”

“NO BUTS! I am telling you for the last time Maurice, THE ORDER IS CANCELLED!!”

Looking behind you, you noticed a very pretty lady –well she would look pretty if she dropped the scowl that was on her face- storming out of the parlor with an older man following her.

“The wedding is cancelled, and there is no bride, SO WHAT IS THE POINT FOR A DRESS?!”

“But the dress took so long to make-!”

“Silence!” the lady said, ruffling her dress of any dirt as she held up a finger. “Keep the dress for another customer, or you may do what ever you wish to with that dress, I’m afraid I no longer need it. Now, I must be off, I have important matters to attend to!”

She turned around and waved at a man who was standing nearby, who got up from the barrel he was sitting on and jumped on a wagon, pulling the ropes that were attached to a horse and bringing the vehicle over and stopping it in front of the lady.

“Goodbye Maurice!” she called out as she lifted her dress to climb into the wagon as the driver man opened the door for her.

Before she could even lift her foot to enter the fancy wagon her gaze locked with your confused ones.

She froze, leg still halfway up from the ground, and you found her stare to be an uncomfortable one. You turned around to walk away and ignore her, but the lady immediately called out for you.

“Wait! You there! Look at me girl!”

You jumped in surprise and snapped your head to turn around and look at the lady in shock.

“Me?” you said unsure, pointing to yourself in uncertainty.

The lady said nothing but lifted her dress and marched up to you. You took one step back at the sudden closeness and your eyes widened when she suddenly grabbed your face and pulled it closer to hers.

You squealed, your eyes widening to look at the crazy lady in shock who was now inspecting you closely. Pulling back a little, she looked at you up and down for a few seconds before pulling back completely, letting go of your face and taking her chin into her hands.

After a while, she nodded. Her eyes snapped up to yours and you leaned back in suspicion.

“You’ll do just fine.” She suddenly said.

“What the wha- HEY!” you cried out when she suddenly took your arm and began to pull you towards her wagon. You began to protest, but this petite woman had a lot of hidden strength in her, and you struggled to escape all the while you tried not to trip on her huge dress as she shoved you inside the wagon.

“MAURICE!” she suddenly called out again. Said tailor jumped and looked at her.

“Y-yes My Lady?”

The woman went inside the wagon and forced you down on the velvet seat beneath you, and then pushing you to the side hurryingly so she could sit next to you.

She looked up and raised her eyebrow before giving ‘Maurice’ one last message.

“Save the dress for me.” She said and you looked at her wearily. “We might need it after all.”

Maurice certainly looked happy at the news, he agreed straight away and skipped back into his shop.

The driver of the wagon came to the door and began to close it. “Where to?” he asked.

“The castle Minho, and make it quick.”

“Yes My Lady.”

Closing the door, the driver went back to his place in front of the wagon and pulled on the reins of the horse, making it move towards an unknown destination.

When you finally snapped out the confusion you were in you looked at the woman next to you in bewilderment.

“Who the heck are you? And where are we going?!”

The girl simply sent a smile at your way and placed her hands on her lap.

“My name is Seulgi.” She said as she looked forward.

“And as to where we’re going, you’ll find out soon.”

When the carriage reached a sudden stop, you sat up straight, more scared about what was about to happen.

The lady called Seulgi must’ve noticed your nervousness, because she suddenly placed a hand on your shoulder in a way to calm you down.

“Don’t be scared darling.” She said. “I’m not taking you to be killed or anything, if that’s what you’re thinking… I’m here to help you, that’s all. And maybe ask you for a favor in return.”

You decided not to say anything other than nod your head, still unsure.

Could you trust this girl? I mean, it’s not every day your suddenly dragged into a very fancy looking carriage and swept away to god knows where. I mean, what if she was part of an evil gang or something who murdered peasants for fun? What if she was a-

“We’re here.”

“Huh?”

The carriage came to a sudden stop and you braced yourself, ready to jump out this carriage and make a dash for it if you needed to.

Seulgi turned towards you and patted your thigh a few times. “Let’s go my dear!” she said as the door to her right opened and she moved to climb down the steps to go outside. She reached out a hand for you to grab. “Come on!”

You looked at her, still wary of her, before sighing and slowly reaching out your own hand towards her and gently placing it on her hand.

Seulgi smiled, clasping your hand and then pulling you out, trying not to laugh when she watched you let out a yelp since you nearly fell.

You glared at her, looked behind her and gasped.

You were standing in front of the biggest freaking castle you had ever seen.

The island you lived on had no castle or royal family ruling over it, so this was a first for you. Huge turrets on each ends of the big, grand castle with flags with the royal family’s crest stitched on them hung around the huge walls. There were guards littered everywhere, some standing on guard and some matching here and there doing their own thing. The garden that was in front was magnificent, and you could only imagine how even grander the back garden would be, if this castle even had one.

The front doors of the castle were something else. Big, silver doors with carved patterns on them to show off how expensive it was with at least two guards standing guard on either side of them. And when you looked up, you could see the balconies and windows that showed you the many floors this castle held.

“W-why am I here??” you cried out, looking back down at the crazy lady who brought you here. “W-what did you bring me for??”

Seulgi sighed, turning around and began to walk towards the castle gates.

“Follow me and you will see. You’ll soon have the answers you seek.”

‘This girl is nuts.’

Letting out a tense breath of air, you looked behind you at the village that was not so far away.

‘I could just run away.’ You thought, but when you looked back at the guards around who were watching you carefully, you gulped, deciding against it.

You began to walk slowly towards Seulgi, and then sprinted into a jog to catch up to her and started walking slowly next to her, reaching the castle gates and staring in shock at the guards who turned to bow at her as they opened the gates for her to enter. ‘Is this girl royalty?’

Once the two of you had entered the castle, you let out another gasp. The outside of the castle was something for sure that looked like it came straight out of a fairytale, but the inside was even grander.

Chandeliers hung from the ceilings above your heads and you gaped at all the fancy pieces of furniture and handmade crafts that were placed around. You stared wide eyed at the paintings of different people and shuddered at how creepy they looked as their eyes seemed to follow your movements.

“This way.”

You looked back at Seulgi who turned a corner and began to climb some stairs.

You walked up to the stairs and held the railings, trailing your hand over the gold paint and looking at the velvet carpet placed over the steps in awe.

“Quickly now! Stop dilly dallying!”

You looked up to see Seulgi standing at the very top of the stairs and ran up the stairs to quickly catch up to her, following her quietly from behind as she took you through unfamiliar hallways.

As the two of you walked, you noticed that this castle was crawling with maids and servants who were all doing their chores, running around the whole castle. Some were wiping the windows, dusting the furniture and paintings, and even making the beds in the many rooms you two passed by.

Some gave you weird looks as you passed by, probably wondering why a dirty peasant looking girl was wandering around the halls of a castle, following a very posh looking lady clueless, and you suddenly felt self conscious.

After a while of climbing a few more staircases and traveling through more halls, the lady in front of you finally came to a stop.

“Here we are.”

You looked at her confused, and then noticed that you two had stopped in front of a door that was in a hallway secluded from the rest of the other bedrooms.

Seulgi looked at you and nodded. “This is where you will be staying with us.”

She took a step forward and pushed the doors open, stepping aside to let you walk in first.

You might as well have a heart attack by the number of times you had been shocked today.

The room was anything but dull. The room was bright with white walls that had golden patterns painted on them with expensive and exquisite furniture that were placed around the room. The bed really blew you away. A huge queen sized bed with silk for the sheets made you just want to dive into the covers. And if that wasn’t good enough, it was even that kind of bed that had those turrets on the end, which meant that it even had more silk on top which flowed down gracefully around your bed. You would surely enjoy sleeping in that tonight.

Walking into the room steadily, you noticed there was a door that was placed in the corner of the room, and you guessed that it was probably the bathroom, and you could only imagine how fancy that must be. There was even a huge balcony at the end of your room. You didn’t doubt that the view would be breathtaking from where you stood.

“This room is yours my dear.” Seulgi said speaking up and you looked back to look at her. “You may have a bath, I’ll call in some maids later on when you’re done to help you change into more suitable clothes for you to wear. You’re also free to roam around these hallways and explore the castle if you wish to do so.”

You lifted up your hand before she could say anymore.

“Yes yes thank you, this is all very nice of you to do so and all that but I must ask you,” you said, trying to clear your head of the confusion. “Why am I here? What do you want from me? Do you always grab random girls of the street and bring them here, or am I the first? Just what the hell is going on!?”

Seulgi walked up to you and grasped you hands.

“I know my dear.” She said gently. “I know you have a lot of questions right now but believe me when I say, you’ll find out soon enough. Once your done with your bath, I’ll give you some time for yourself, and then for lunch, we’ll have our chit chat. Can we compromise on that? I’m sure just by looking at you I can tell that you been through a lot.”

‘You have no idea.’

“Fine.” You said groaning. “If you swear that you will.”

“I swear.” She said smiling, glad that you and her were on the same page. “Now, go enjoy your bath, the maids will be with you shortly.”

She let go of your hands and made her way out of your room. She was about to close the doors behind her but she stopped.

“Oh yes, excuse my manners I nearly forgot!” she exclaimed and looked back at you. “What’s your name my dear?”

You looked at her and thought about it. What harm would you telling her name be?

“(Y/n).” you said, sending her a small weak smile. “My name is (y/n).”

Seulgi clapped her hands and beamed.

“Well it’s lovely to meet you (y/n). Now If you may excuse me, there are some things that I must do right now.”

And with that, she closed the door, leaving you all to yourself.

You sighed as you sank in deeper into the warm water.

Taking a bath right now really was the right call. Once you had gotten over you hundredth shock of the day by how amazing and huge the bathroom was, you quickly filled the big bathtub that was placed in the center of the bathroom with warm water. You looked underneath the cabinets of the sink, finding bottles of shampoo and bars of soap. You grabbed one of each, placing the objects on the stand that was placed next to the tub and stripped yourself of your dirty clothes and slipping into the water, letting out a loud moan of content once your tense muscles finally managed to calm down.

You had already washed your hair and skin and were now dirt free. You had drained the dirty water and stood up to grab a white towel that was placed next to the sink to dry your skin and hair. Looking at yourself in the mirror, you froze once you saw the mark on your skin.

You brought down a finger and carefully traced the ‘BB’ that was branded on your skin. Though the skin may have seemed to heal slightly, it was a clear fact that the mark was never going to go away, no matter how many years you waited for it heal completely. It was there on your skin, and that’s where it was going to stay.

You covered yourself with the big towel, deciding not to sulk over it any longer and walked towards the smaller balcony that was attached to the bathroom.

Walking up to it and opening the glass doors, you only stepped out a little, making sure to not make your hall naked figure shown for the world to see, but then you realized that you didn’t have to worry so much, seeing as the only thing you could see were trees that were placed close to your balcony that covered partially of your view of the village that was placed far away.  

Giving one last look at the sea that surrounded the island, you walked back inside, closing the glass doors behind you.

You jumped when you heard knocking on your bathroom.

“Wh-who is it?”

“We have your clothes my lady.” A gentle voice called out. “Lady Seulgi asked us to help you into your dress that you shall be wearing when you have lunch with her this evening.”

Oh.

“O-okay.”

You quickly walked up to the bathroom door and opened it slightly enough for you to peek your head out, noticing two young women standing behind the door, holding a bundle of clothing in their arms.

You opened the door a bit more and looked at them confused. “You’re going to dress me?” you asked unsure if you heard right.

“Yes my lady.”

…

“Uhhh… can I wear my underwear myself first?”

“If that’s what the lady wishes.” One of them said as the signaled for the other maid behind her to hand you the undergarments that she was holding.

You thanked her and closed the door, quickly changing into your underwear before sighing and opening the door again, holding the used towel in front of your body self-consciously.

It surprised you when the maid closest to the door suddenly pushed the door open, grabbing you by the arm and taking you back into the room, the other placing your dress on the bed and taking your towel from you.

You were going to protest when one of them spoke up.

“Hands up please.” She said and you shut your mouth, lifting up your hands slowly and blinking in shock when they suddenly began to work on you, throwing over a corset on your chest and began tying the strings from behind it.

You nearly died by how tight they were tying it and even protested against it, but they would always say they same thing, “This is how it’s done my lady.”

After the hellish experience was done, one of them turned you around and you closed your eyes when a huge dress was suddenly thrown over your head. Pulling your arms through the sleeves, you blinked once more as one of the maids began to tie the ribbon behind you and the second one bent down to help you slip into some gold heels she whipped out of nowhere.

As the maids continued their work, you took the time to inspect your dress.

Gosh was it lovely.

The light golden dress seemed to look lovely as it hugged your top half of your body and flowed gently around you. The material was cotton, but it still looked fit enough to be worn by a queen. The amount of silk that was stitched on it made it stand out even more, even though it had small pieces of silk on the ends to accompany it.

Once your heels were on and the bow behind your dress was tied, both maids stood up and bowed slightly to you.

“We’re done my lady. We shall be back to work on your hair once its dried.” And with that, they walked out, closing the door behind you.

You let out the breath you were holding through the whole thing. God was that exhausting.

Making your way towards the balcony that was placed a little further away from your bed, you opened the glass doors and walked out, setting your hands on the railing and looking out at the view.

You silently watched the scene in front of you, looking at the guards that walked underneath your balcony, and at the village just ahead.

You closed you eyes as the warm rays of the sun kissed your skin, and you basked in the warmth.

Despite how unanticipated things were going at a rapid pace for you, you figured that it would be pointless to worry and stress over things right now. Your answers would be solved in a matter of time, what you just needed now was patience.

Not so far away from you, trouble was stirring up.

Sehun loaded the gun he was holding with more bullets and placed extra ones in his pocket before placing the gun in his other pocket and covered it up with his shirt.

“We ready to go yet?” he asked, looking at his left and staring at Yixing who walked up next to him.

Yixing looked at him and looked back, noticing the other crew members all loading up their own guns and weapons. “That depends on what the Captain says.” He said.

Everyone looked up when they heard a door slam open.

They all watched silently as Baekhyun walked made his way up to the top deck and stood next to them. They all watched silently as he shoved two guns in his back pockets and started twirling a knife in his hands.

He walked up next to Yixing and slammed a leg up on the ship’s railings and frowned.

“Let��s go boys.” He said as he glared at the sea of houses in front of him. For some reason, he felt an unknown pull pulling at his heart, making him look up at the castle that was placed at the far end of the island and he let out a low growl.

“Time to get what’s rightfully ours.

Opening your eyes, your gaze traveled to look at the ocean beyond the village. Making out the small shapes of some ships that were there, a sudden fear made its way into your stomach.

You couldn’t see the EXO ship from where you stood, and that should’ve been enough to calm you down, but for some reason, it didn’t. You were so far away from the ocean, far away from the terror that you had been through, but you felt as if you were standing right next to it.

So far away from Baekhyun, yet you felt like he was standing right behind you.

~Masterlist~

[sambart93]

2019.03.12 NakamaruKun no Tanoshii Jikan 3 [Report]

So of course I went to this, and of course it was great! Let’s get right to it!

If you don’t know what this is, this is basically a one man show with Nakamaru who produces and performances basically all of it. The first one was back in 2008, and then he did another in 2017 and finally this one in 2019. The main ‘plot’ is basically just Nakamaru showing us things that he thinks about or that he finds interesting. It’s really random, really funny, and a lot of fun!

☆ The show opens with him, of course, doing a beatbox performance to get us all in the mood. But shortly after that we get into the first part/corner of the show.

☆ The first part of the show is him waking up at home (in bed, IN pajamas!) and the theme is: Relatable things that happen at home. So we had things like ‘hitting the snooze button but getting up anyway... forgetting you’d hit the snooze button and getting angry when it goes off..... getting angry when it goes off for the third time.... splashing your face with water three times.... talking to your pet plant... watching the news and making a commentary as you watch.... negatively ridiculing the experts on tv....’ and then there were some Nakamaru only ones such as ‘washing your hands after you touch your phone every time,’ and ‘being able to change quickly because you’re an idol’. Also during this segment, his ringtone AND his alarm tone was him beatboxing which I think is hilarious xD

The main theme is that Nakamaru’s manager has gotten sick so Maru has to do his schedule alone for the day, so we go through his day.

☆ So his first plan of the day is to do a TV news recording called YuIchi (a parody of his actual show Shuichi). He is pre-warned that the host and the guest (which are both projection mappings of him in different outfits xD) can be a little odd so he goes in prepared. But what he gets is more ridiculous than he expected. They talk about nonsensical topics, such as the new auto-parking cars (but the VTR shows the car banging into the nearby cars), and a straw to suck up curry. The other two think these are amazing ideas, while Maru is sat there in disgust and tsukkomi-ing (negatively commenting and scolding) throughout the entire thing.

☆ Then the scene changes completely and it turns into a boxing arena-type setting and Maru walks through the audience area in his boxing shorts and dressing gown. And this is where his infamous bra hook undoing challenge comes in (in an interview for Tanoshii Jikan 3, he said that the staff actually suggested he do this segment because it had become so popular with the fans xD) so he had to unhook as many bras as he could in 60 seconds. His goal is 60, but unfortunately he only got 55 this show.

☆  So after that, his next schedule is to check on the new album and songs. The new album has 8 songs and they’re all remixs of KAT-TUN songs. They were absolutely hilarious! And you could tell a lot of it was influenced by West/Shige (who’s worked with Ueda on Setsuyaku Rock), because we had things like: Real Face West Japan Ver. which was Real Face sung in Kansai-ben/dialect. We had LIPS Eating Edition, which had the sound of someone eating crisps just after Kame’s opening line but before the guitar kicks in. We had Keep the Faith Fan Edition. which was Male Ouendan Chants (it was absolutely hilarious! Maru said ‘the fans would never cheer like this,’ but to be honest, if you asked us to, we would!). We also had (either) White X’Mas or One Drop that was sung in an old Enka/Opera style. The remixs were absolutely hilarious! And so much fun to listen to! Also the new album ‘covers’ were the old grey silhouette style when JE wouldn’t allow previews on the internet. And then the LE edition had the actual member photos but it was Maru as all three of them. Maru turned to his producer and said ‘there’s no way in hell Kame and Ueda would do this (dress up as each member). Ueda would punch you if you told him to,’ which was hilarious because it’s so true! Only Maru would be up for doing this!

☆ Then we had a Metal Gear Solid inspired segment (calling back to UNION and CAST when they did impersonations of this game’s voices) where Maru used the ‘!’ sound and image, and he was dressed up in a MGS-like outfit. Here he did the questioning segment. So here are the question he got that day:

Question One: Is there a role from the other two’s dramas/movies that you want to do? -- Yokai Ningen Bemu. Even though Bem wants to be human, it’d be fun for me to become a yokai every week. Also... OreOre, but that would be very tiring to film. Kame did 23- *audience member yells 33* -- ah sorry, he did 33 different characters. It would be interesting to film though.

Question Two: Do you have an idea about your next solo song? -- I haven’t decided anything yet. I always think of doing a ballad or something because of my age, but then when it comes to the concerts, I really want to dance! So I always do a dance song with a high tempo.

Question Three: What’s your favourite underwear for women? -- I’m an idol so I can’t answer that! If I answer, everything’ll get blown out of proportion. Next question please ^_^

Question Four: What’s your favourite Dialect (in Japan)? -- I love all dialects. I’m from Tokyo so hearing them just sounds so cute. I guess, Kyuushuu’s dialect is nice. Around Kumamoto and Fukuoka is good. They say stuff like ‘~to! ~to!’ (at the end so) it’s really cute. 

*

I did have a question prepared just in case but luckily my seat number wasn’t pulled out! PHEW!

☆ The next section, Maru goes to a voice recording and he has 4 different clips to voice (all the voices in the clip) for. Me explaining it isn’t going to do any justice at all. But the first clip was of a man being pulled over by an officer, and Maru voiced it so that the two characters were talking about Point Cards xD then next clip was two men meeting and Maru made it into a ‘oh this is my first time meeting you. It’s great to see you again even though this is our first time hehe’ type of thing. The third clip had a couple in a bath and he made it into a ‘so you only like guys with brains? But I have no brains! Are you gunna leave me?! So you’re saying you should have brains too?!’ and unfortunately I don’t remember the fourth clip.

During the curtain call, he told us that he and the staff had actually spent a week going through about 130 or so videos, and buying copyrights to a bunch of them so they could use them for this segment. He said he was going crazy after that week xD

☆ Then we get to the climax corner where he goes back to his room after the day’s schedules are done. And he checks up on his manager who says ‘turns out it wasn’t the flu! I just feel like I have the flu! So I went out and bought hot lemon tea and the limited edition KaniBread! You should go back out and get the KaniBread before it sells out!’ to which Maru is like... ‘you’re too sick to come to work but you’re feeling well enough to go out and get limited edition stuff?’ and the manager was like ‘....yes’ which my fangirl feels totally understand. I will go out dogsick to get an LE of KAT-TUN’s stuff or to go to a limited time cafe or something, but am I f*ck going to work if I feel sick.

☆ So Maru goes to the bathroom but ends up slipping on a banana. When he wakes up, his shadow had detached himself from Maru so now the shadow is running rampant all over Maru’s house. So Maru attempts to catch him and this leads into THE climax of the show which is a long 10 - 20 minute long performance where he used special effects, projection mapping, smells (of biscuits and hot lemon tea), special flying and maneuvering devices, sparkly outfits, suspended dancing glowing balls/crystals etc. It’s just so visually pleasing and it visually enjoyable during this last segment! All of KT’s and Maru’s performance habits came out in this one! We had the classic green light beam performance, we had Maru beatboxing, the very JE sparkly, shiny outfits. I also really loved the space segment of this performance too. He was on a blacked out rodeo horse thing and it made him look like he was floating in space which was so cool! Also at one point, the entire room went black except for some ‘falling’ colourful balls that came down from the sky and then in the center Maru popped up! The entire audience freaked back it was in the center of the first floor audience area! The fans were SO close to him!!

Such an amazing finale!

☆ During the Curtain Call Maru mentioned that there’s still some stuff he can’t talk about and he mentioned ‘KAT-TUN Events’ to which I freaked out because usually he would say ‘Con/Live’ if it was going to be a concert but because he specifically said ‘EVENTS’ my brain was going ten to the dozen! What events?! Debut event?! New album?! New Drama?! New Concert?! Another Line Live?! All of them?! What is in store for us?! So excited!!

[firstpuffin]

My expectations for the Venom movie (2018) based on the trailers; and my review (when I watch it):

Venom movie expectations:

-Note= This will contain some small amount of spoilers from the trailers and mayhaps the movie.

Venom is one of those movies that I am going to have to watch with a deliberately open mind, because it looks bad.

  To start with, I am a lifelong fan of Spider-man; I normally include that to mean all superheroes, but Spidey has always been my focus and I have time and again attempted to keep up with his adventures, although that is one hell of an ordeal. Because of the mess of comics that ran at the same time (Amazing Spider-Man, Web of Spider-Man, Peter Parker the Spectacular Spider-Man and all that tosh) with chapters of the same story published in different series, it’s hard to keep up; but I’ve tried and so I know quite a lot about Spidey and, naturally, his enemies. While I’ve never read the Venom comics, I know enough about him to see that his upcoming movie isn’t quite… loyal.

  Let’s begin with the symbiote’s origin: from the trailers I’ve seen this hasn’t been established yet, but it looks like there’s a bunch of them in a lab, but before that? No idea. In the original Spider-Man comics the symbiote was from a world that Spidey was dragged to in a crossover called “Secret Wars”. After his suit was torn up and his web-shooters lost, he was directed to a machine by another hero who had new clothes, only to approach the wrong machine and boom! Symbiote!

  Naturally that isn’t going to happen in any one movie, much less a standalone like Venom and it is obvious that the cartoons, movies and even alternate universes have had trouble finding ways to implement the alien suit (although with what happened in Infinity War part one, Spidey may be in the ideal situation to bring the symbiote back to Earth, but that won’t happen), but the reason why I bring up the origin is not how it is going to be on Earth, but that fact that Spidey isn’t involved.

  The last I heard, there was something like a thousand symbiotes on Earth (although don’t quote me on that) but Venom is unique not only for being the first, but for copying Spider-Man’s powers and to a degree, his appearance. I suspect that more recent comics may have tried to write their way around this but honestly, screw it. Without Spider-Man with his spider-based power-set, there is no spider on his chest, no webbing or sticking to walls (although symbiotes seem kinda sticky anyway) and it isn’t Venom anymore. In one scene from one trailer, we see Venom turn itself into blade-like things which it waved around, but Carnage was the first to do that and Venom sticks to, and I’m beating a dead horse here, Spidey’s moves. That’s why he’s such a quintessential Spider-Man villain, he’s literally his shadow.

  A Venom movie without Spider-Man is just a symbiote movie, which would actually be totally worth watching. It could be done Alien-style with people being hunted down by this symbiote creature and the finale has one of them possessed and attacking the others. It could be so good. Call it “Symbiote”.

  Back on track, another of my problems is that the first trailer made it look like a generic action film. There’s nothing wrong with that except why use an established comic book character like Venom for what is basically the next Mission Impossible movie? The following trailers made it look a bit better, but nothing really authentic, nothing really interesting. He’s a big, angry, cannibalistic Flubber and that actually sounds better than what I expect to see.

  Finally, Venom has changed a lot throughout his time in comics and I personally really appreciate how he was represented towards the beginning. He hated Spidey because the web-crawler “stole his innocence” (creepy, I know) but otherwise he was actually a bit of a hero; that’s why he had his own series. Eddie Brock has had his issues but he’s not a bad guy. The Venom I’ve seen in the trailer is more in line with what we see when the Venom symbiote bonded with Mac Gargan (aka The Scorpion). From what little I’ve seen of that pairing, Venom would literally eat people; it was disgusting. It feels like that’s the version we’re gonna have in this movie, and that’s not what I want to see.

Apart from commenting on how most of the trailers seem to be set at night (starting to think he’s been written for DC), that’s me done until I watch the movie.

Venom movie review:

Boy was I wrong.

  I really enjoyed this movie; maybe it was because I went in with low expectations while trying to keep my mind open, but I was very, very pleased. I will try and keep this review spoiler free (I personally DESPISE spoilers), but I will reference things that I mentioned in the expectation part of this article.

  First of all I want to bring up the fact that something I said earlier was wrong: we don’t see Venom creating blade-like things to fight with, that scene is the antagonist symbiote (we knew there would be another symbiote so that’s not a spoiler, right?) and they are actually one of my problems with the movie. Have you ever bought or seen sunglasses where the lenses are called silver but look black in many lights? I own a pair and I’m pretty sure that’s the colour of this symbiote. On its own, and in certain lights, it looked to me like Venom but thankfully when the two are on screen together, they are very distinct.

  On the topic of flaws, Venom is not a character driven movie; Eddie Brock is a rather generic action hero, the obligatory love interest is just that, an obligatory love interest and the token rival-in-love is probably the most interesting character who is neither villain or symbiote. Still, the human antagonist (seen in the trailer) is more interesting by far. I like his motivations although I personally feel that they get a bit fuzzy towards the end, although I may just need to watch it again. I like the intelligent, calm and collected villains who feel that they are doing the right thing, even if sometimes it feels like he is there solely to be an antagonist to the hero.

  And the titular Venom; I really enjoyed the symbiote for how he was, ironically, humanised. He was pretty amusing, had personality outside of his connection to Brock, even if I didn’t quite understand HIS motivations. I’m starting to notice a pattern here. It was great watching Brock realise that something was different after infection, with his body moving oddly as the symbiote controls him from within, and when the symbiote comes out and becomes the Venom we all know and love, he moves like a force of nature. He ploughs through objects like they aren’t even there which is quite exciting to watch.

  I wasn’t wrong when I said it looked like an action film, because it was. But the pacing was good, never too fast nor too slow, and events progressed at a satisfying, er… pace. There won’t be much emotional gratification from the “romantic” sub-plot (not quite sure it counts as such), and the film is really more about the action than anything else. Still, as an action flick it is pretty darn good, with the extra-terrestrial element helping it stand out from other releases such as Mission Impossible: Fallout (although I haven’t actually seen that yet).

  Finally, it sets up a possible sequel that I would love to see, although whether or not it could join the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) I can’t say. One of the staff members at the cinema suggested that as the film takes place in San Francisco and not New York, it wasn’t as though they contradicted anything from the MCU and so they could potentially bring Venom in. I’m not sure if I’d want to see that, I’d rather like to see a more traditional origin for the symbiotes (by which I mean to Earth via Spider-Man), although I did really like this movie’s take on it.

So Venom (2018), how was it? Well it defied expectations, although that doesn’t say much; it was an enjoyable action film, the visual effects were really good, although I did feel that occasionally the characters were not looking at the CGI symbiotes, and apart from one oddly auto-tuned song, I quite enjoyed the soundtrack.

[eyepatchdate]

@chidorinnnnn tagged me in the 10 facts about you meme :) thank u and just a note im trapped on my phone so...difficulties ensue. 1. I decided to start taking writing serious in 6th grade. Before that i had messed around a lot and had a bunch of silly stories, but i didnt think of writing as a craft until i started really trying in 6th grade with a story called 'the Shadow Hounds', which is still something i mess with today although i usually just transplant the characters into other things. 2. My first introduction to anime/manga was tokyo mew mew, which i read in school when some cooler older girls suggested it to me. I also first tried to draw with tokyo mew mew characters. I still have the first drawing i ever did of ichigo somewhere. It's bad lol. 3. I grew up watching my family play point-and-click adventure games and helping with the puzzles, but i never "drove" the game, so nowadays it is really rare for me to sit down and play one because i prefer watching/helping (and lets plays dont work for me, im not really a fan) 4. I like to trace a lot of my interests back to Knights of the Old Republic, because that game was really monumental for me. My favorite thing is that I found Dragon Age through KOTOR2 and through Dragon Age I discovered my favorite work of all time: Umineko no Naku Koro Ni. 5. I didn't always love robots as much as I do now, I didn't dislike them or anything but I was really uninformed. I finally picked up books that were better for that because of an analysis of KOTOR2 that listed several novels as KOTOR2's "pedigrees". And it was right and KOTOR2 has lots of deep shit connecting to it. despite that tho, i had heard of the robots series my whole life because my dad liked to talk about Elijah and Daneel. 6. I used to fence and i still have the reflexes from it, it's really fun and definitely my favorite sport. It's very much like playing physical chess, because theres a lot of thinking you have to do about yourself and your opponent. 7. I don't like horses because I almost got murdered by one once that went crazy on me when i was a girl in a horse summer camp. 8. I got into Homestuck because someone told me to watch Cascade and I did and it totally floored me. I desperately wanted to understand what was going on and i was so captured by all the characters and events that i finally decided to try Homestuck. I got to somewhere just after Jade's intro when I got bored and lost my spot. I tried to go back for years periodically but didnt succeed until a semester of college where i had no friends lol. (i read homestuck and played persona 4 and persona 3 around the same time). 9. The first thing I ever bought from the internet was the first three Dominic Deegan books, which I have and love, even if I never finished reading Dominic Deegan (i want to go back, i stopped reading it live around the middle of the arc focused on the orcs, i had too much trouble remembering the characters and telling them apart). 10. I didn't have a smartphone until college so it's honestly pretty easy for me to imagine a life without one. I like having contact with my friends tho. Im not going to disgrace myself by attempting to tag on my phone so if you wanna do this go do it! And tag me so i can see in my notifications! :D

[icewraiths]

Shade

Another update on this AU thing skfjsklfjdsl

This has gotten kinda out of hand, lol--it’s not even really just the ‘kelpie AU’ anymore. It’s more like ‘the incarnates AU’ or ‘the aspects AU’ something, ever since I decided to drag Drusi and the other two into it.

Previous part is here.

The following morning was a disappointment, to say the least. The butcher refused to sell Renata anything--not even cheap stew meat. The rumors had apparently gotten to him. Unfortunately, this left Ren without a solid meal for the kelpie. She figured she was going to be on the outs with the mare for this, for sure.

She'd left in a huff and headed for the nearest tack supply shop instead. She picked out a pale blue rope halter with a pretty braided noseband, as well as a matching lead; the set cost more than she would've liked, but the rope was soft and of quality make. While she was there, she also grabbed a durable mane and tail brush. The mare certainly needed it, what with the atrocious shape her tangled hair was in.

Ren's final stop was at the cafe on the outskirts of town, where she acquired three sandwiches and four decadent pastries for meals and snacks along the road. She was down to a mere handful of shillings--she supposed that, once she returned to Valedale, she'd have to ask Claire for her job back as the stable's resident shit-shoveler.

By the time she snuck sheepishly out of town, the locals were starting to go about their daily routines, and most recognized her as someone who wasn't up to any good. She avoided their accusing stares and was very glad to be leaving the area behind.

The kelpie mare seemed happy to greet her, at least. She appeared, sylph-like, from the water's edge when Ren reached her corner of the woods.

"I don't have any meat for you today, I'm sorry. They wouldn't sell to me! They think I'm using it to lure wolves in." The young woman attempted some damage control. She hoped the gray would accept the sandwiches as a light meal instead, and she fished one out of her bag before peeling the packaging back.  

The mare snorted as though scoffing at Renata's offer. She approached the girl, nostrils flared, and snatched the sandwich right out of her hands. The meal was gone in several gnashing bites.

Unsatisfied, the gray pushed past Ren, and started rooting around in her pack.

"Hey! One of those was for me, for lunch. Well. Nevermind." Renata sighed. The young woman wanted to rescue the halter and lead from her backpack so that the gear wouldn’t get chewed up by accident, but she decided it would just have to wait until the man-eating fae was done with her food. She didn’t dare reach her hands into the same bag as the mare’s formidably keen fangs.

The kelpie's eyes widened and she withdrew something from the backpack. One of the pastries hung from her mouth, partially bitten into.

Prancing around with the confection in her mouth, the pale mare trotted to and fro. She tossed it into the air before catching it; it was gone in a single chomp.

"You have a sweet tooth?" Renata observed, inspecting the contents of her pack while there was still some distance between her and the fae. The gray had been kind enough to leave Ren one sandwich and a single pastry. Carefully, the young woman extracted the halter and lead from the pack, not bothering with the brushes just yet. She also plucked the last pastry from its wrapping, knowing that the kelpie was not going to like the halter one bit.

Ren held the snack out for the mare, waving it as though it were some kind of valuable prize. She showed the halter as well, so that the fae would not startle or feel tricked. The last thing she needed was to lose what little of the gray's trust she'd managed to earn.

"Here, mare. I know you aren't gonna be keen on this, but you have to at least try to look domesticated. The ratty-mane look isn't helping us any."

The fae stared her down. Clearly, the mare did not approve of the halter, but was torn by her want for the last of the pastries.

Eventually, the gray conceded, and stepped forward.

Renata tossed the treat towards the kelpie and sidestepped, moving as quickly as she could to loop the halter over the mare's head. She tied it, fastening the headstall knot before the mare was even finished eating her snack.

"That's not so terrible, is it? I bought the softest rope they had," Ren said, trying to pacify the fae. The mare tossed her head and rubbed her face against her foreleg as though trying to scrape the halter off.

In the meantime, Renata retrieved the lead and attached it to the halter. She stood next to the kelpie, holding the leadrope and tugging it a little to catch the mare's attention.

"I know, I know. I see that you hate it, but we have to get on the road. We have a long way to walk, especially if I can't ride for any of it."

The kelpie shook her mane out, conciliatory but unhappy about it. Ren shouldered her pack and sighed. It was going to be a long walk--she could practically already feel her feet aching.

The pair of them left the secluded stream behind without a backwards glance, and set out onto the road towards Valedale.

-

Fortunately, they only encountered one other group of riders along the way. It was a trio of girls Ren's age out on a hack with their warmbloods. Tightening her grip on the lead, Renata quietly warned the kelpie to behave as the strangers approached. All three riders paused, asking why Renata was walking the mare alongside the road.

"I just bought her. She's very green. I don't think ever she's had a rider on her before," Ren supplemented.

"Why not take the trailers?" One of the girls asked.

I definitely didn't take the trailers because I am definitely not  trying to avoid drawing attention to this perfectly normal horse that is most certainly not magical or dangerous in any way, Renata thought. She shrugged, trying to spin a plausible story as she stalled to respond.

"I spent almost my last shilling on her. I can't afford to have her hauled all over Jorvik," she replied, continuing without prompt. "I bought her off some shady guy. With a wagon? He had a bunch of greenbroke horses, and they all looked underfed and dirty. I had to buy her and get her out of there, and now I'm trying to get her back to my home stable. I'm sure I got ripped off, but look at her. I couldn't just leave her behind."

The gray played along, pressing her head against Renata's shoulder and looking as sad and pathetic as equinely possible.

"That's awful," one of the riders responded. "Do you know who the man was? Were the horses abused, you think?"

"I dunno," Ren said. "Pretty sure he gave me a fake name. I'm going to call in a report when I get back home. You guys keep an eye out for him, okay?"

The riders nodded, clutching at their reins and patting their horses in sympathy. They decided to continue on their hack, apparently, because they cued their mounts into a walk.

"Thanks for the heads up," the last rider said. "Good luck to you and... what is your horse's name?"

"Shade," Ren blurted. The other girl smiled at her.

"Good luck to you and Shade, then. Bye!" With that, the trio of riders trotted away down the road.

Once they were out of sight, Renata exhaled loudly.

"I'm glad they bought that. Come on, let's keep moving." The young woman tried to lead the kelpie forward, but the mare planted her feet.

Ren looked back at her, confused.

"You did fine, mare, they didn't suspect anything weird about you, I don't think. You put on a fine show. Very dramatic. I'm glad we played the pity card."

The fae still stood her ground.

"Fine, Shade, we have to get a move on if we want to see Vale before dark," Renata said, sarcastic. The gray tossed her head.

"Is it something about the name? I can call you something different, I just had to come up with something on the spot and it suited you. Sorry." The girl bowed slightly, hoping the show of respect would appease the fae.

The mare moved her little ears backwards, and then tipped them forward again. Her eerie pale eyes seemed quizzical.

"Look, I thought it suited you, like I said. I didn't mean any insult by it. I meant it as in, a shade, a shadow, a ghost. A remnant of something that used to be. You're the last of your herd, aren't you? It seemed fitting."

The kelpie nickered, making a sound akin to a woman chuckling under her breath. She dipped her head once, and then trotted forward, nearly dragging Ren off her feet.

"Shade it is, then," Renata said, scrambling to keep her footing as she jogged down the road alongside the mare.

-

They reached Valedale just after sundown. Ren was leery about being about in the darkness with the kelpie mare, but her fears went unrealized.

She managed to sneak Shade through the championship grounds; she knew that keeping the fae in the stable with all of Valedale's normal horses would be dangerous if not outright stupid. It was the off season, and any riders using the track for training had boarded up their horses for the night.

After successfully sneaking past the riding grounds, Renata headed for Avalon's house. The girl tentatively led the gray through the woods behind the cottage. Several of the lights were on, and she eyed each of them with scrutiny as she and Shade darted from tree to tree on their way to Vale's waterfall.

"All right, this is where I leave you for now. I’ll be back here to check on you tomorrow morning. I don't need to bother telling you to keep a low profile, do I?" Renata untied the rope halter and pulled it from the kelpie's head. The gray shook her mane in indignation--it was clear she was happy to be free from the oppressive headstall--before bounding to the water's edge and slipping into the fall's plunge pool.

Ren wasn't sure if she couldn't hear the impact of the fae hitting the water's surface over the sound of the falls, or if the kelpie simply had not made any sound at all upon diving.

She turned to leave, glancing once-over the area again to make sure they'd not been followed. Taking care to appear nonchalant just in case, Ren twined the lead rope into a coil along with the halter, and stowed them both in her pack. Upon shouldering the bag, she left, sneaking back past Avalon's cottage and making her way across the bridge towards town for the night. 

[jaybug-jabbers]

Bug Run 4: The Final Reckoning

So, here’s the thing. I wanted to go into this last gauntlet as low-levelled as possible.

So I tried several times. I’ll give some recaps of those warm-ups. But in the end, I did find I needed to level up on levels on par with Cynthia in order  to properly face her. I do want to include the warm-ups, however, because those lower Elite fights become quite trivial at higher levels. So I feel like the warm-ups do cast an important light on the merits of the team.

Just as a quick refesher on the rules:

1.) no healing items during battle unless the foe uses them first, and then I can only match the items one-for-one.

2.) no entering the Elite four at levels higher than the highest-level pokemon in the Elites/Champion.

Warm-Up One

With this first warm-up, my team was all at levels 55. Honestly, they did surprisingly well, all things considered. The first few Elites, specializing in Bug and Ground, were not any trouble. After all, ROFLCOPTER’s Ancient Power/Air Slash could just sweep the bug team, and I had plenty of ways of handling the ground team as well. (In fact, Maestro took out Rhyperior all on his own– which I am so proud of. The power of Screech and Brick Break, and Rhyperior missing one of his Megahorns, heh.)

The true challenge was Flint.

One of only two Elites who specialize in the Fire type, surely this was the true test of a bug team’s mettle.

I started off with my Drapion, as you can imagine his typing and his Earthquake were pretty important for this match. Sadly I fall JUST short of a 1HKO on Houndoom. The dog gets Sunny Day up, which is … really, really bad. Then Flint heals. I take out Houndoom the next time, but that’s the least of my concerns. Infernape is next up, and I send out Yanmega, because I’m certain it will outspeed Drapion. After a little Protect just in case, I Air Slash, which juuuuuuust barely falls short of killing. Fortunately Infernape Flare Blitzes and takes us both out. My Black Fang is back out again, squaring off against Flareon. Sadly, my EQ doesn’t one-shot, so I get an Overheat straight to the face. I finally bring Flareon down, but next up is the scary horse that is Very Fast. I revive my dragonfly (potion was used on Houndoom) and send him out. While Rapidash spends a turn getting Sunny Day back up, I throw some rocks. Another turn of rocks and it goes down, but then the major problem hits.

It’s Magmortar. In the sun, no less.

My Ancient Power hardly even phases him, depressingly. Once ROFL goes down, that’s it. Magmortar outspeeds everyone in a giant ball of fire.

Warm-Up Two

So, no real surprise that Magmortar presented a bit of a problem for us. My second warm-up had my team all at levels 57 when I started out. This is the level of Flint’s ace poke. These higher levels made things a lot easier: Black Fang took Houndoom out in one hit, preventing Sunny Day. ROFL’s Air Slash on Infernape took him out clean this time. Fang’s EQ could also clean out Flareon in one hit. Rapidash was the first to not fall to one hit: he took one Ancient Power, just barely. However, ROFL somehow survived the Flare Blitz and Rapidash fell to recoil.

I’m sad to say ROFL’s rocks still barely put a dent in Magmortar; and Magmortar still outsped nearly everyone on my team still. Except for one– Black Fang. Thankfully, EQ killed, letting us squeak on by.

The last Elite member was a Psychic specialist. As you can imagine, for a full-bug team, this wasn’t too terrifying a prospect. I sent Maestro out first, 1HKOing the Mr. Mime. Gallade was the ace, and pretty damn tough. I decide to send Fang out to get a couple Scary Faces off, because his speed terrifies me. Then I smash away with Poison Jabs, poisoning him in the process. I’m almost home free until (of course) Full Restore rains on my parade. So I continue the process, stabbing away with Poison Jab, but my foe decides to be clever and switch Bronzong in. I try using Crunch on it just to see, but it’s not really worth much; I drop to Extrasensory and probably shouldn’t have wasted Drapion like that.

That said, Maestro goes in and has this covered for me. I’ve spent many an hour beating up Bronzongs in Victory Road and know that one Screech and the bell falls to my X-Scissors, despite the bulk and the resistances. No worries.

Gallade returns from his break, so I send ROFL in. I proect on what I think is his last Stone Edge before Air Slashing him to death.

Last is Alakazam. Air Slash puts him at 1 HP, which is quite annoying, because of course Full Restore is next. Yes, I don’t have Bug Buzz on ROFL. I know, that’s a bit silly, but I wanted to pack a bunch of coverage moves on him. Anyway, I bring Fiberglass in and smash away with Iron Heads as plan B. I take 2 Focus Blasts to the face easily and immerge victorious.

Easy peasy.

But truth be told, despite how far we had gotten, we just weren’t ready for a particular pokemon to come.

Cynthia’s opeing Spiritomb is easy enough. I used Cleo to toxic it and healed heavily, and swooped in with Attack Order when the time was ripe.

Togekiss was out next, which … is pretty scary. I had equipped Black Fang with Rock Slide, but Togekiss is still bulky as fuck. Plus, Air Slash did a LOT to Fang, even though it wasn’t super effective. I got lucky with the flinches, simply put (even after one full restore from our champion). Somehow, against a Togekiss, this seems fitting, though.

Luck wasn’t going to carry us through Garchomp, though. The run ended there, once again in flames. It was just too high-levelled and too strong.

Warm-Up Three

I spent some time grinding more, getting the team up to levels 60-62. I also bought and grabbed a few extra HMs and items. I would need to be careful and incredibly precise with this battle.

This fight came so incredibly close. It certainly confirmed I was on the right track.

I opened with Fiberglass, setting down my Stealth Rock. I bashed away at Spiritomb with Iron Head, which was around a four or five hit kill. That sounds slow, but Fiberglass resisted the Dark Pulses and Shadow Balls that it threw at me, so it was quite reasonable. I did get some bad luck with a Special Defense drop on a Shadow Ball, though. This means when Cynthia stopped to potion up, I did too. Eventually Spiritomb fell, though.

Next was Garchomp. She was going right to the big guns this time. I had a plan for this, though. I sent out my Drapion, equipped with a Focus Sash. The plan was Scary Face. I absolutely needed to drop its terrible speed. Lacking any paralyzing moves whatsoever, Scary Face was all I had. Earthquake brought me down to 2 HP (which was hilarious, not even consuming the sash) and I got the Scary Face off; then I pondered my next move. I decided to risk swapping Cleopatra in.

She switched in on an Earthquake as I had hoped, and then was able to Toxic. She tanked Garchomp’s Flamethrower damn admirably, and was able to heal off the damage several times. Then a critical hit catches her and she goes down. Still, it felt like holding back an ocean tide, and I was impressed she managed to do it as long as she did.

Then I sent Maestro in.

“A fucking Kricketune against a Garchomp?” you ask. “Are you mad?”

But this Kricketune had a Pomeg berry and that weird move Natural Gift. As most of you probably don’t remember this weird-ass move introduced in gen IV, the move’s power and typing changes depending on the berry you hold. It’s kind of like Hidden Power, but easier to manipulate … but can only be done once, as it consumes the berry.

Pomeg berry translates to a base 70 Ice attack. And it worked, taking the Garchomp down. It was deeply satisfying.

Next was Togekiss. I had hoped Fiberglass could do a little chip damage but her health was just too low and she went down immediately. Somehow, I manage to take Togekiss out with 2 Ancient Powers from ROFL, though (after surviving an Air Slash).

Milotic is out next, and I’m fully aware how tanky this beast is. I send out Sparkler to try a Bug Buzz, and get a very lucky critical hit– sending the HP down to 1/3. Ice beam then takes us out, but ROFL can easily revenge with Air Slash.

Lucario is next! I try Air Slash, and it brings him down to less then ½ health, which is great! But what’s not so great is Lucario has Stone Edge. Another bug drops.

Maestro manages to get the kill with Brick Break– surviving a Stone Edge to do so. It feels fantastic, but we’re in deep trouble now. I’m down to just two pokemon; Maestro and Black Fang, and they’re both in the low red.

It’s just not quite enough. She outspeeds Maestro and so he’s gone.

And that’s it. The run stops here. I know Fang can’t 1HKO.

We came so close, though. So ridiculously close. What if our luck had been just a little bit better? Or what if … what if I put the Focus Sash on Sparkler? I’d already seen Fang could just barely survive one hit.

What would happen then?

One More Fight

The rematch is very, very similar to before, with only a few small differences.

This time round, Fiberglass got through Spiritomb a little more easily. I didn’t need to use a potion to get through it when Cynthia potioned it; I just plugged away and brought the ghost down.

The fight with Garchomp went pretty similarly. I got a Scary Face off with Drapion, swapped Cleo in, did some toxic stalling … although once Garchomp’s health gets into the red and I choose “Toxic” again, anticipating the Full Restore, for some odd reason it never comes. Garchomp Dragon Rushes instead– which misses, and toxic of course fails. The following turn, Garchomp goes down. I have no idea why Cynthia didn’t Full Restore that time, but in the long run, it didn’t make a difference, as you will see.

Next up was Togekiss, and I send Fiberglass back in, but potion up Drapion this time– using the potion I was owed that Cynthia used before on her Spiritomb. Fiberglass goes down to a critical Air Slash, and Drapion goes out to tough it out again with Rock Slides. Once again, Cynthia potioning up and I need to Rock Slide through another round, but manage to not fall victom to Rock Slide misses. I’m thankful.

Milotic is next again, and Sparkler Bug Buzzes. He does not score a crit this time, and I see just how pitiful the damage is when it’s not a crit. Oof. My sash is consumed and I get one more hit off, which helps, but Milotic is not as low as before. When I send ROFL in, Air Slash does not kill.

Oddly, Milotic decides to Mirror Coat instead of Ice Beam. I take heavy damage but don’t die. I try to Giga Drain, now confused over what Milotic was doing, and thinking the HP might help me survive a non-ice hit. It brings Milotic down into the red but she still doesn’t DIE, and Cynthia potions back up.

This wasn’t going good. I attack more, finally go down to an Ice Beam, and bring Fang in to revenge-kill with a Poison Jab, which thankfully does the job.

Lucario is out next. I swap in Cleo, who’s in the low red. I use the chance to do one thing: potion Drapion back up again. Cleo goes down, and Drapion can kill with one EQ.

Finally, Roserade. I’m back to the same scenario as before– with Maestro and Fang the last ones standing– but both are at full health this time.

Two Poison Jabs take Roserade down, and that’s that.

This is a repost on a new blog. The original post was on Dec 14, 2018.