#see for example: i have to go look over literally everything i've ever written in the code again

[codacheetah]

The spreadsheet is my timeloop

[madlori]

Here's where I am with Buddie.

[CW: I am using the Buddie tag on this post, even though the gist of it is that I'm increasingly doubtful that it'll ever happen. This is NOT an anti-Buddie essay. If you'd rather not read about this topic, please keep scrolling. The bulk of the essay is behind the cut.]

-------

I've thought a lot about this over the weeks since 7x04 aired. It's not a secret that I'm wildly enthusiastic about the BuckTommy pairing (as are many fans) but what does that mean for my thoughts and opinions about Buddie, a pairing I still love and for which I am still writing fic (slowly but surely…)?

It's become increasingly difficult to reconcile hopes for Buddie with dread for a BuckTommy breakup, but if the show managed to pull off a breakup that did not destroy me, I would still be all in for a Buddie endgame.

But more and more, I don't think it's in the cards, and I'm increasingly okay with that.

First off, I know it's a common assumption that Buck and Tommy have an expiration date, and that it cannot last. That may very well be the case, but…the show is not acting like it, nor are they presenting this arc as if it's short-lived. Episodes 4-6, while also being about other things (especially the amazing Madney wedding plot in 6) were also a bit of a trilogy about Buck discovering his sexuality and taking tentative steps into a relationship with another man. It didn't go…particularly smoothly, but the events of 7x06 where they were concerned had a completely different tone. They had a much more settled vibe in the karaoke club scenes, from Tommy's very boyfriendly "check-in" look before he had to leave, to Buck's casual/distracted "Be safe" (as if he's said this before) and just how they spoke to each other and touched each other was much more comfortable than in the coffee meetup. Which makes me think it's been a few weeks and they've seen each other a few times in the interim.

And then that kiss. Putting aside that it was juxtaposed with a literal wedding kiss, there was nothing uncertain or hesitant about it. It felt like a very arc-capping kiss, coupled with the reveal to the rest of Buck's friends and family, and the clear message was "Okay, they're done 'getting together' now, they are together and will be together going forward, even if we don't see Tommy every episode (much as we don't see Karen every episode)." We know Tommy will be around through the end of S8, if not in every remaining episode. After that, we'll see.

A lot of fans have viewed one of the guys coming out as queer to be a first step towards a Buddie future, but I have to say I've never been super comfortable with that logic. I've always thought that if they were going to get together, or both be revealed to be queer, it would have to be at the same time, with each other, via them getting together. The minute they pulled the trigger on Bisexual Buck, I immediately thought that this made Buddie far less likely. Why?

Because it would mean that the writers/showrunners would be making BOTH their "hot younger firefighter" characters queer…separately. In separate storylines. Distinct from each other. And I just don't see that happening. I'm not saying it SHOULDN'T happen. I'd be over the moon. I'm saying I think that's unlikely.

As much as it pains me to say it, I think Eddie will be written as straight and will continue to be written as straight. I don't disagree with the many examples of queer coding we've all seen - the problem is all of them can be just as easily interpreted as arising from a different trauma. Almost everything we've seen from him that could very legitimately be read as breadcrumbs for a queer identity for him could also be rooted in his trauma over Shannon's death, his family trauma, his PTSD, or his general anxiety over being enough for people. He can be read as having sexuality crises. But he can also be read as having other crises with the same results.

I'm not seeing a sexuality crisis for Eddie in the future. I just don't feel like that's where they're taking him. They're taking him somewhere -- he's got storylines coming up -- but I think they're going to have to do with his family, possibly his friendship with Buck, maybe his relationship (I think we can all agree Marisol isn't going to last, she's like the anti-Tommy in that she's been around way longer but has infinitely less of a presence), and Christopher. That's a lot to deal with just right there. If I'm wrong, I will be delighted to be wrong.

But.

I think the show will continue to prioritize and showcase Buck and Eddie's very deep and emotional friendship, which is revolutionary in its own quiet way. Another thing that makes me think they're setting Tommy up to be a long term love interest is that one of the first things they did with him was affirm that he will not come between Buck and Eddie, give him his own relationship with Eddie and Chris, and have him show that he understands and respects the depth of their bond. Not to mention they've integrated him with the firefam. No other of Buck's love interests have gotten this treatment (Taylor had the most contact with the firefam, but I don't think anyone would say she was integrated, LOL). And it shows how committed they are to maintaining Buck and Eddie's friendship as a key emotional element of the show. Tim has also said this, repeatedly.

People often say that there's no explanation for how Buck and Eddie are with each other if it's not romantic - I read a fantastic essay that pointed out that this statement is the reason their platonic friendship IS so important. Men should be able to be vulnerable and loving with each other without it being romantic, as women can be. If we're unable to see a loving friendship without interpreting it as romantic or sexual, what does that say about the kind of male friendships we see everywhere, that makes this one so different?

I know this is an old anti-Buddie argument and I'm not anti-Buddie nor do I mean it's wrong to see it as romantic. I still do. I'm saying if it's not, if it never is, what it is, is already valuable and special, especially when one of them is now openly queer and dating a man.

Anyway. That's where I am with it, and my interpretation of where the show is with it.

[eldritch-nightmare]

yandere sully headcanons.

a/n: don't look at me i couldn't help it okay i'll work on requests soon just let me have this. dear god it's been so long since i've written anything i hope i still know what i'm doing uhm i listened to stockholm syndrome by erra on repeat while writing this (i am obsessed w the song okay) so if that influenced it a bit then yeah it's 5am ignore the messiness and typos i just Had to write this in one sitting.

warnings: gn!reader, yandere behavior, obsessive behavior, thoughts of kidnapping, actual kidnapping, thoughts of cannibalism, kinda slight possessive behavior, scopophobia, mentions of restraints, technically a precursor to the yandere sully bot now that i'm looking at this.

He's oh so confused when he first starts feeling things towards you. It's only a brief burst of confusion, only because he's never felt this way for another person before.

Sure, he'd burn the heavens and hells for Liu, and he's pretty buddy-buddy with Eyeless Jack but this? It's new to him.

The confusion doesn't last long, that's for sure. Sully knows exactly what he wants, and he's rather in tune with his emotions so he's able to figure things out quickly.

The intensity of his love certainly surprised him though. The first time he thought 'I want to lock you up and make you mine', he took a step back and was like 'Hey man, that's pretty strange...' but he gets over this pretty quickly, obviously, or we wouldn't be here.

Besides, it's not like he's going to act out on these thoughts, right? I mean, sure, you're the most fascinating person he's ever met but he has restraint. He has a lot of restraint, thank you very much.

Haha... well... about that...

You see, Sully does have a lot of restraint, so he doesn't actually act out on these thoughts and desires for a really long time. He's fine with watching you from afar.

And also because if he did, it could lead to trouble.

He also knows that Liu would be very unhappy with him if he acted out on these desires, and Sully actually really cares about Liu and his boundaries and stuff. Sure, he could totally keep it a secret since they don't share memories and whatnot but still.

So he's content with just watching you from afar and having these thoughts. Shall I provide some examples of the thoughts he has about you?

They'd look so cute chained up and in tears.

God, I just want them to say my name like a prayer.

They're so adorable when they laugh... it makes me want to eat them.

I wonder how they'd react if I took them away from here just so I could keep them all for myself. No one will know where they are except for me... they'd never be able to get rid of me...

Wouldn't it be cute if they realized I want to make them mine? They'd probably run, but that would make things so much more fun.

I honestly think I'll kill anyone who tries taking them from me. They're mine, and I have to protect what's mine.

I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you.

He loves literally anything and everything you do. You could never bore him, even if you try really hard to. He could listen to you talk about some topic he doesn't care for for hours because it's you who's talking.

Honestly, I'm not entirely sure if he'd bother hiding his obsession with you from you. He definitely hides it from Liu, Liu cannot find out, and the others, but I feel like it's so obvious that Sully wants to just devour you.

The way he looks at you certainly sends chills down your spine, and there's something in you telling you to keep your distance, for your own safety.

He doesn't even care to be subtle when he's watching you. You can always feel his gaze on you whenever he's around, it's almost as if you're the only thing he can focus on whenever you're around. It would be kind of cute if it didn't unnerve you so much.

But it's not just that.

It's... the way he looks at you. The... the pure smitten look in his gaze as he watches you do such mundane tasks. The way his gaze always lingers whenever something or someone else needs or wants his attention. His eyes feel like they're going to consume you whole if you look into them. It's only with Sully. You never feel like this when you're around Liu.

He's well aware that you're uncomfortable with his gaze, and he thinks it's adorable how you avoid interacting with him and how you try hiding away from him whenever you're forced to be around him.

God, he could just eat you up.

And it's so hard for him to see you getting along so well with other people. He just wants to pull you away whenever you get too close to someone.

Oh man he's so very casual with all of this as well. You think it's weird and disturbing, he thinks it's romantic and a part of everyday life.

You've thought about mentioning this to Liu a few times but... what could he do? It's not like he can control Sully. Besides, Sully hasn't done anything that makes you feel as if you're in any immediate danger, he just... watches you. And smiles, occasionally, in a way that makes you unnerved to imagine what he could be thinking about.

Well, until now, that is.

What can he say? He has restraint, sure, but even he can't help but give into his desires every once in a while. And this time he just... decided to take you away.

Not while you were awake, of course.

No, he would never let you be awake for something like that. It's also just easier snatching you while you're peacefully asleep, blissfully unaware.

And you're so cute when you're sleeping, did you know that?

He lets out such a dreamy sigh as he watches you sleep on the bed he set you down on. He had brought you deep into the woods, keeping you in a neat little abandoned cabin that he managed to fix up nicely in his spare time.

Only he knew about this place. He didn't share it with Liu. It was his place. And now, yours as well.

Sully thought about restraining you to the bed... he even has a decent-length chain just for that, but...

Not yet.

He knows the chances of you running when you wake up are incredibly high, and honestly? He wants you to run. He'd love to chase you, it'd be fun for him.

You entertain him in ways no person has ever been able to. You make him feel things he's never really thought of or felt before. You're... interesting to him, which really says a lot.

He's never been so intensely interested in something before, let alone someone.

You're just special like that, he supposes, and he can't wait for you to wake up so the real fun can begin.

The only real concern that Sully has is Liu. Liu, bless his heart, would never approve of this. He's too nice, too compassionate. He wouldn't want Sully to keep you captive in a cabin in the middle of the woods. He wouldn't understand.

So, Sully does intend to keep this a secret from Liu. And the others. It's not like they'll suspect him of doing anything.

After all, he's just the guy uninterested in his surroundings, why would he have anything to do with your disappearance?

[spotsupstuff]

What was your favorite Slugcat to play and your favorite Iterator to draw?

(i haven't played Saint yet) i suppooooooose it might be actually a tie between Spearmaster, Rivulet and Artificer? the movement of the latter two was a lot of fun, but i'm too attached to Spearmaster that i don't wanna leave it out. constant supply of spears took one of my main worries away for the whole game

and favorite Iterator to draw?? oh boy, i don't think i can choose... i do draw my own designs which i did my best to cater specifically to my enjoyment from drawing. it'd be easier to say what i like drawing the most out of their singular designs, so i'll do that (AND i get to ramble about that i love doin that)

originally i talked about like. all iterators i've ever really drawn but then i fucked up n what i had written was deleted so i guess we are doin only few. the main five i think of when trying to figure out which i like drawing the best:

• Pebbles: everything about his head is a joy to me. the shape of it, his marks, antennas.. the shape of his feet is a lot of fun and something about the combination of the Gen 3 skeletal body type and hanfu just... fits for him. along with his angry expression. it's like... a certain regal beauty but there's sharp teeth hiding within it. i like to try my best to imbue certain feelings into my designs and then how i draw them (especially on my own time- when i draw for asks i feel like... this important essence, the characterization, gets muddled at least a tad). with Pebbles i'm going for something like "small flame, burning bright- a fighter, yet so soft and fragile, sharp and divinely glorious, determined yet still so damn scared. i want to hold your hands, understand what the time has done to them and say that i'm very sorry. you shouldn't have had to become so rageful. they made you to be alive and didn't let you live." • Nish: of course *he's* here. from the scarf to the general loosenes of his fit (even though he should be more of a Tube, i'm not doin the kimono inspiration justice n i am sorry) is a lot of fun. the looser the clothes are, the more i enjoy drawing them!! i really like drawing his mark and i'm very proud of my design for his headphone audial things this time around. unlike last time, they are meant to be bigger than others' and they are red instead of dark green. the three holes in them? Especially proud of those. he's specifically high up there with my favorite iterators to draw because of his attitude, though • Boreas: he's so stupid big it makes me giggle. drawing him next to Gen 3s is so??? sir please come down we need to have a chat- hello? do u hear me???- okay but seriously, i'm very happy that i've settled on a chlamys for him. the sort of like. collar that i've decided the cloth will make for him compliments his personality well and i like drawing my collars a ton. it's not visible here because it isn't colored, but his antennas go from dark dark blue to vibrant red thru a gradient and i LOVE it so much. combined with the aggressive shape of them? mwah. also the leaf-like things on his audials are so simple to draw and add so much to his vibes that i always look forward to drawin them. revisiting his design and giving him the warranted love made him so so strong and dear to me... p sure he's currently my favorite from my ocs • Notos: a perfect example of why "less is more" is a saying. i like drawing it specifically cuz it's literally just. a bitch playing on a ghost with a bedsheet except when u look under that hood there are some Feckin yaoguai teeth waiting there. Those are a bitch to draw but i did this specifically to learn to draw teeth like that better. also. special shout out to the interaction of Iterator antennas and a bedsheet over the head. shkika keeps bein weak for those "cat ears" in our dms, it's funny to see Notos out of all my kids get those kind of reactions jglkdscmlksdmlk

• Fish: FISH IS FISH. he has big dumb round glasses what more could i possibly need to enjoy drawing a man. but also those antennas... they make him a lot of fun to draw n i look forward to drawin them each time. my thanks to @/w1ngw0ng and @/medi-bee for bettering them just by being themselves

special shout outs go to Zephyr for being challenging to represent properly (physically relatively weak, fragile, yet burning blindingly bright, sharp, determined and brave- just being a leader of a revolution even though her physical form doesn't really fit it), FAM (@/medi-bee) for bein an absolute freak (i love him. i love Nips even more)

and NRD (@/splynter) for being different yet familiar and for being colored like a dead body. Very Cool Of Them 👍

[llycaons]

I’ll make this my last message since I don’t want you having to spend all day on another 15-paragraph essay because that’s just sad. I’d just like to state a point that apparently didn’t come across in my original message—one I didn’t think I *had* to state—which is that fanfiction *isn’t* published fiction. It’s amateur, free content on the internet and shouldn’t be held to the same critical standards and practices as critiquing trad pub fiction. That’s why it’s bad etiquette to, say, put fic on Goodreads, for example. Again, didn’t think I’d have to say that to someone who obviously spends so much time (so, *so* much time) reading fanfic, but here we are!

And just a note: if it’s ableist to say the word “weird” to you specifically and insinuate you, specifically, should go outside—which I *know* you do, I literally used to follow you lmao—then I sincerely apologize. That being said, I *know* you go outside, so I fail to see how that’s a broader shot at the housebound when… you are not. And I know that. And it’s shitty that you’d turn around and banter with your mutual who’s calling me a cunt. That’s fair game somehow, but “weird” is too far? Ok lol. Guess your pearl-clutching over what’s problematic only goes one way. Good to know 👍 Will hard block then! Cheers

it's a good thing that this is their last message but since they're hard-blocking it feels like a waste to even answer this one. I don't even have any other arguments since I was so thorough and said everything I wanted and ig they have no actual rebuttals so I'm taking this win. 'don't want me to spend all day writing 15 paragraphs' yeah right, they just don't want their argument to be DEMOLISHED again lmao and I don't think it's sad, I like covering all my bases. man I smoked that one. and I didn't spend all day on it, it took like half an hour? I was at work all day man lmao. and now I'm being held responsible for things other ppl have said? I mean I stand with my mutuals, but I literally never said that stuff in the actual reply

like I never said fanfic was just like real books, I just said you need to be held responsible for what media you create? did anon even READ my carefully crafted responses? friends. I am bereft. they're asking like this was an obvious oversight on my part but it's just inane to act like not being published equates to freedom from all criticism, which is what I SAID. it's not formal criticism, it's just what I think. you remember thinking? I can't turn it off! and since when was my SINGLE page a goodreads account?

as soon as they pull out the term 'pearl-clutching'...man how did this cunt used to follow me. that's right. I didn't even call then a cunt earlier when kiera did (WHAT bantering??? I posted my response AFTER I got this message) but now I WILL. you gotta be careful about who you tell to go outside, anon. and calling ppl a cunt isn't ableist lmao and I think it's perfectly reasonable in this situation. also if they used to follow me wouldn't they know my views already? what did they think would happen??? and since WHEN was saying cunt problematic???

and furthermore I appreciate the apology bc the comment about my tagging WAS out of line but irrelevant. my bigger complaint was more that 'weird' was a really vague criticism of my behavior. like nothing in ANY of those messages was compelling arguments that I should feel bad about what I was doing they just kept leaning on the morality of the words 'weird' and 'strange'. also just because you used to follow doesn't me you know me as a person?? ugh I just have to call them a presumptuous cunt again I'm afraid.

however this is bar none THE stupidest person I've ever argued on anon with so I will be sorry to see them go. it was so easy to win their weak, unsubstantial, shame-and-normalcy-based but somehow unapologetically amoral arguments...well it looks like I've written another lengthy response but that's fine, I like to chat on my blog to my neighbors and friends and anon shan't shame me out of that one either. how are we all this morning.

[synonymouswithanonymous]

What lies? Could you justify and give some precise examples. I'm curious 🙂

where to begin? I've written about loads of them. Mistranslating her words. I've said that one repeatedly. As I've said before some people have created fictions in their heads and hardcore believe these lies they're spewing. A whole list of pure speculation, presented as facts (another post).

Claiming she's got *insert multiple medical disorders as an insult* How would we know of anything other than what she's talked about? You can't diagnose over social media clips. It's just more lies. Lies designed to make her look bad.

Claiming she's abusive behind closed doors. How would we know? This is speculative lying to further claim she's "bad" etc.

Claiming to know "their real timeline" when all we have is speculation, they want to say shes a cheater. That's clear character assassination, by creating a lie, and repeating it a lot, to try to make her look bad. Or make him look bad by calling him a homewrecker.

Claiming she's not a real survivor of abuse, or uses it to further her career is not only twisted, but again creating a fiction to rail at her, just bc you don't like her is a cruel, unsympathetic lie.

Claiming she's manipulating him, as if anyone outside his real life would know? People are claiming this as fact, like they have proof. No there's literally no proof, just opinions. To claim this as a fact is a bold face lie.

That she pushed him into revealing their relationship before he was ready. As if we could know? To create fiction just bc you don't like her, is a lie. He'd been spotted out with her before April.

I made a whole post about how haters claim she "chains" him to her side, and he never gets to see friends, family or work. These are lies. From several pictures and projects, this is an outright misrepresentation of the truth. And also, again, just bc it's not posted and we don't see it, doesn't mean it's not happening. But clearly he isn't chained at her side lol.

Trying to twist everything she does from cupcakes to war, into Something to justify calling her an evil leech worm etc. Is a type of lying imo to force a narrative designed to hurt her.

Example: That her ladybug book video was her "flipping off the fans." Now that's just a ridiculous twisting of a video.

That she's "mocking the mentally disabled" by "talking funny", she was speaking Norwegian. That by dancing she was doing the same. These are horrible abusive lies to try to spread around about someone. That was repeated quite a bit, they were serious. Again, speaking another language and dancing on a red carpet? This makes someone want to spread malicious lies about her that she's mocking the disabled bc they don't like she's dating AHA. Don't get me started on the stereotypes about the disabled that that person wants to perpetuate. And I'll also point out, when this popped up the first time, a fan with 1994 in their name was openly mocked for liking Johanne. Their malicious ridicule of that person, still bothers me. But that's gone off topic.

To say she was pissed at a premiere before they revealed themselves, by the "look" on her face. Maybe they saw different clips, bc the ones I saw only the back of her head was seen. So not sure how her facial expression was "glaring" lol. So more lies.

Literally the only factual truths we have are these, they are a couple, they live together, they say they love each other, they're vacationing in Italy. They're both actors. Those are facts, bc they just exist without interpretation. Now if you're not one of the ones who genuinely believe everything they're saying about her, then I'm glad. You understand we don't know them in reality. I'm more of a benefit of the doubt, easy going person. I like her and she seems great to me. But will we ever know if either one of them is as nice as they appear to be? Nope.

That's just off the top of my head, we could debate the laws of the art world etc but meh. I don't really care one way or the other where someone draws inspiration. From pastiche, fair use, fan fiction, gifs, whatever, just be creative how you want to be. So I guess calling her an art thief would be a lie also, by laws definition she's not (made a post about art, links to laws) . I like Weird Al too, he's hilarious lol. I could see fair point, if someone morally disagrees with the practice, but it's not imo a big deal.

I will wish you a good day, though I remember you were among the ones calling me rude names. 😂

Edited to add, this post is public, even if I block someone it's still a public post. And naturally I will block people who've called me a variety of names in the past. Shouldn't be surprised that they were blocked lol, what you really thought you could slide into my inbox and I wouldn't remember your name? 😂😂😂😂

[orchidyoonkook]

personal

Hi, need to scream. Tumblr seems to listen best. can and please feel free to ignore.

okay so essentially my job has removed all of the things I use and need in order to be able to do my job with my mental disorder. my mental DISABILTY. that i was honest with them and told them about at my freaking trial shift. that i told them i needed certain things in order to do well. nothing drastic. but things that helped me significantly with my performace.

SOOOOOOOOO i am now severely struggling at my job because they've taken those away cuz they were 'annoying' or 'in the way' or 'clutter'. like. im not even leaving shit every where. It's like, maybe at most 3 sticky notes? (for example) and they're written just for me, like just so i can have a list of things i can do and know to go back and look on when i need a task because ive finished the one i was doing. but then my boss reads them and critiques them as if they're for everyone. or says 'okay yeah but we do that every day so i dont see why you have to write it down. you should know to do it by now' LIKE BRO. I forget to put deodorant on some days because of said mental disability. it's something i do and have done every day since i was 12 or 13. thats 12 years. and i still forget some days just cuz my brain wasn't working properly.

AND now due to this they have put me, one of the staff currently with more seniority than 3 other staff, down to one shift a week, while every one else is full time or heavily part time.

In march i was full time and kicking ass, I was the fastest employee on my tasks, i was doing great, the customers loved me and now that all of my things that i need in order to function have been removed for everyone else's aesthetic preferences, I'm suffering, and most likely being silently fired.

like... what do i do with that. I can do my job, with my accomadations - that arent that many btw - i dont expect them to move mountains for me. But dude. I hate this feeling so much because i'm capable, theyve seen me be capable. i was for 1.5 years. like i want to be good at my job. I like and enjoy being good at my job. i've told them that. I want to do good but my ability to be good is being derailed, and i just get told to try harder, just work harder, impress your boss with how hard you work -> for minimum wage, i might add.

and everyone is like "just get a new job, just apply for more jobs you're not applying for enough, literally just apply for everything, even if youre not qualified" and i cant just do that, due to said disability. there are jobs i am unable to do. so i have to be a lil picky otherwise i'll be right back where i am now. and ive been looking for months and applying for months with no luck - no one ever responds. why list jobs if you dont respond?????

it's getting to the point where im debating opening up drawing commissions or writing commissions, or something that i can make to earn a little extra cash here and there while i get over this transition period. And that's a big deal for me because i don't do commissions. I do my art for myself or for when i want to share something i've made already, like the UTWT books. Hell, I did a tattoo design for a friend on here that i put easily 40 hours into, and i felt guilty that they wanted to pay me for it because i'd asked them for the idea. Like, i don't do commissions. so for me to be considering it is really telling for me.

anyways. this is a bajillion words long now, but i already feel better. and I'm posting it in the middle of the night in hopes that the void just consumes it and never lets it see the light of day.

If you read this, thanks and sorry for the bummer of a post. This isnt a pity party or a poor yoon thing. I'm not looking for comfort or any of that. this is a 'i don't have a therapist and my friends and partner and family are sick of hearing me bitch, when i havent been able to fix it in months despite trying my best too' thing. so yeah..

i hope the new year brings me something good.

[faejilly]

so like five years ago or something, (ugh, time), I started an epistolary fic for @pameluke that I have not updated in, well, several years. (brains! little fuckers are very uncooperative, what can I say?)

It subsequently became the most popular thing I've ever written by several of AO3's potential metrics, which is neat! But... pressure-ish? Regardless, it would be nice to actually, uh. Finish the damn thing someday.

And in the interests of getting the voices in my head to engage with it so I can finish, I am attempting to adapt some public workskins on ao3 into email & texting screens and I will (hopefully) be updating said fic with fun formatting whenever I do actually finish & post the last couple chapters.

BUT!

I have a visual/clarity question re: texts and group chats

Behind the cut for a slew of terrible screenshots! (In various zoom levels, so uh, apologies if you have to click on them to see wtf I'm trying to ask)

perhaps followed by a poll since I apparently have them now?!?

This is roughly what texting looks like currently, (and will still pretty much look if you turn off AO3 workskins and/or download the fic in an ebook format):

Now, the reason it says "Cat" on top, is because that's the contact name in the header of the phone screen, which currently looks like this:

Now, in the original draft Cat didn't say "Magnus" there, because his name was there in the label so I didn't need it. BUT, this is the first phone screen in the fic, so I figured I should include it for clarity.

Contextually, as the fic continues, I assume one will generally be able to tell who is texting whom, but I could, (even tho it would not be as phone-like) put in names so it's clearer:

which is also how I've been managing group-text/chat formats:

But it looks kind of weird when it's just two people talking back and forth. (It's not like my phone puts my name over my own texts, yk?)

Not having all the names might be confusing, but I CANNOT TELL ANYMORE? aesthetic vs clarity? SOMETHINGSOEMTHING?

The only real downside to just putting the names in is that it causes some weird spacing in the download/non-skin version, because the name tags are no longer visible but there is, afaik, no way to fit them in properly without leaving the space for them, if that makes sense:

ALTERNATIVELY, I could change the headers so they're informational rather than a visual part of the phone screen, for example, the first text up there would be something like "Magnus' Phone (texting Cat)" and then the group chats would be, idk, "Alec's Phone, The Hedge" etc. etc.

OR ALTERNATIVELY ALTERNATIVELY... I could do... something else that I haven't thought up yet? I guess? *shrug.emoji*

HELP ME TUMBLR, YOU'RE MY ONLY HOPE:

*for the options with a star, please do include suggestions as to how to accomplish that nonsense, k? 😅

With like, actual baby-steps, because I do not know what I'm doing. I was literally just trying to copypasta a skin and then I couldn't stop.

Like, sometimes the nametag on the right of the phone screen doesn't work and I haven't figured out why yet. I am having a similar problem with the phone screen headers not resizing on different screens, which is why they're not a contrasting color or bordered or anything at the moment, so you can't tell.

/It's still wrong though, and I know it, even if I can't see it. It's like my phone screen is judging me every time I look at them... 🤣🤣🤣

but regardless. If you've made it to the end of this post, I thank you. And I'm sorry?

Have a cookie: 🍪

[quaranmine]

playing doctor on myself this morning with google and losing my mind just a bit

i keep. over the course of the last two years at least. randomly getting these blotchy red rashes on my torso. they don't itch or hurt, they aren't raised, and they seem completely random. i cannot figure it out or any link between it appearing. It will typically last several hours. they do not go on my face, neck, or limbs, just the torso. i don't think theyre like dangerous??? because i assume that if they were i would have some adverse reaction like pain, fever, swelling, etc. so that is why i have not been overly concerned with it. but it is baffling me. now sometimes in the past i have gotten extremely itchy for no reason on my torso, so maybe that's a factor, but the itchiness does not always coincide with the rash. for example, today there is none.

the thing i'm interested in today though, is if it's some sort of drug allergy rash. because it always looks exactly like the rash i got last year when i took paxlovid for my covid infection. the doctor told me that's a common (harmless) reaction. i've looked it up and it looks most like a morbilliform drug reaction which are very common. so, if morbilliform drug reactions look and behave like that, i had that reaction to taking a drug, and a doctor told me it was a reaction to the drug then....

...it stands to reason that my experiencing this off and on for 2-3 years might ALSO be a similiar reaction? i just can't figure out the common thread.

one of my meds is implicated as a cause for this type of rash, and has studies/journal articles on it causing this. EXCEPT. um, it happens when you are first introduced to taking it??? and like dude i've been taking this particular medication since 2016 probably. i'm sure anything is possible (like developing new sensitivies) but nothing i have read is about reactions popping up YEARS after the fact, just within 1-3 weeks of starting it. i saw a study done on someone who developed the rash after taking the medicine, but 5 days after first taking it. i saw another study/journal article that was written as a diagnostic aid that literally excluded any drugs you'd been on for a few months as not the cause. so??? idk. my other medicine does not seem to be implicated in this, as when i looked it up i didn't really get anything.

i'm no biochemist or whatever but i can't seem to find any similarities between my med and paxlovid? like ok, we've established that either the nirmatrelvir or ritonavir that is in paxlovid likely caused it. that's what the doctor said. he said my reaction was a common one to one of the drugs in that mixture, which lines up with everything i have read. but afaik these drugs arent like....similiar to the one i have been taking...it isnt like "oh these are the same drug class so maybe your issue is with them"....

the other (relevant) drug implicated in these types of reactions are NSAIDS. now this could be something. i did take ibuprofen yesterday, and woke up with the reaction. is that it? i'm going to start logging it every time it happens to see if it ever coincides with me recently taking ibuprofen. BUT LIKE. i take ibuprofen pretty frequently, mostly for headaches. this reaction might only happen once every two or three months. i feel like if i were getting a reaction from ibuprofen it would happen every time, not just once in a blue moon?

so why am i experiencing it today???? i'm not wearing any clothing made from atypical materials. i havent used any new shower products. i havent tried any new medicines for a while. i havent eaten anything i don't normally have. none, except for the paxlovid rash, coincide with me being sick so i doubt it's viral.

if it IS a mobilliform drug reaction, it still seems atypical because a) i havent started anything new b) it goes away within a few hours, not days/weeks c) it isn't always itchy

WHERE IS THE COMMON LINK AND HOW DO I FREE MYSELF OF THIS?

[awonderlandsystem]

Sober thinking sucks...

19 days. I looked because I thought maybe it was something I should be prepared for. Which turns out to be a good thing because in my head it was like 26-27 days. 19 is not a lot of days. Especially when there's so much going on inside my head. So maybe if I work out some of it then I'll feel better. Maybe if one day someone else struggling with leaving an abusive spouse sees this and it helps them go work out their own thoughts, or maybe find some help in my ramblings.

1. I need help. We need help. Basic care has been neglected for years with this toxic codependent relationship. Especially mental. Even if he's right and so much of this is my fault and I'm the bad guy, I need help and I'm not getting it here. I'm not able to get it here. I can't take care of myself, the children, and be everything he needs. For all my faults and things we've done wrong, he's not able to take care of the things I'm struggling with either. I can't fix me and him. I can't continue being with someone who justifies every wrong thing he does with it being because I'm not having sex with him. That's not how it works, right?

2. Chances have been given. It's been a year of begging to end things together and go our separate ways with united co-parenting. I know, it's wishful thinking. I don't want to fight, I don't want to drag our kids through petty and hurtful court proceedings. Which legally it's going to be a nightmare sorting this all out. I think we'll have support. I think he's poisoned our thinking and that maybe not everyone hates me like he's made me to believe. I want to hold onto hope that once we're free that some of these relationships will be mended. Mostly my family. I think there might be more support out there than we realize and remember most of the time. But we've been united in telling him how unhappy his treatment makes us, how uncomfortable his entitlement to our body feels. That's not love, or passion, or anything that makes me feel warm and fuzzy.

3. This is NOT a "grass is greener on the other side" instance. He keeps telling me I'm going to leave and find out that I had it so good here. Which on the surface it would seem that way. There's no man I'm looking to shack up with, no rebound set up like he thinks. We really, mostly, want to learn to survive on our two feet. Without a man, or feeling like we owe anyone for simple necessities. I don't want to feel like I'm obligated to have sex with someone because they bought me something. But breaking it down more into his comments. "You have a stable roof over your head." Yes I do. But I have no place in this apartment. I'm only allowed to be upstairs around our stuff sometimes. Which is where all my art supplies are. Most of the time I'm tethered to the kitchen in a fold out chair or cleaning something. When he's asleep I use his computer. But I know better when he's awake. Truthfully when he's awake I try to be as invisible as possible. That's no way to live. I know that now. "I pay for everything." Yes he does. He also spends a substantial amount of what he makes on pot and as many times as I've begged for us to stop, to save, to enjoy life, we're still broke every week. He still points out every single penny spent on us. Literally. "Your sandwich cost..." "I picked you up something, it cost..." And he says it's so I'm aware of the budget and how much is being spent but that does me no good. Eva's told him that if he wants help with the budget and more involvement then we want an itemized list of monthly expenses which he conveniently is "too busy" to ever put together. The way things are in my head, we can't hear things and understand them well. It has to be written down in front of me. That's why there are so many scribbled notes around. I don't understand something until I can see it. "If you want something you just need to ask." Pfft. I've asked for a lot. Mostly I've asked for him to let me go. But for this some other examples: we've asked to visit OUR family over 10 times this year. Each time has been a no and a list of excuses why. Yet we've traveled hours away to see his family several times and at every holiday. Zoe cried at the last one talking about how much she misses home. Six years we've begged to go to the Zoo. Bowling. Roller skating. We've been to the movies once in 10 years. Concerts. Festivals. The beach. The only reason we were able to go to the carnival last year was because TK had OF money rolling in. I don't think this is me leaving because I think the grass is better somewhere else. I think leaving is because the grass here stopped growing and started withering away.

4. Stuff is just stuff and can be replaced. Mostly. I know I shouldn't worry so much about things but I've carried my whole life with me since being tossed out at 18. I have family memories, a lot of pictures. I know I need to save some things. My mom said she'd pay for a small moving truck. God I'm not okay with the idea of driving a truck or leaving my kids in a car with her so hopefully we cement that plan out better. Things can be replaced. Things can be replaced. These years can't. The thing is when you become so lonely and cut off from the world you learn to surround yourself with stuff to fill those lonely holes. I'm not a hoarder, but I need to get rid of some things so I can focus on the important stuff. It feels so wrong upping and leaving him like this without warning but I've tried to work this out with him we all have. I'll probably have no electronics which will be super hard, especially with the kids. I think Hayli has a burner phone. We'll have to wipe this one and give it back. A gift is never just a gift from him. It gets held over and used as blackmail. "I'll take your phone. I paid for it. So it's technically mine. I'll just wipe it if you won't do what I say."

5. Surviving in the real world. This one is the hardest to wrap around. Mentally I don't know if we can handle a job right now. The idea of dealing with people fills me with anxiety. All I know is customer service and that's the last place I think I could function right now. I keep trying to tell myself that maybe it won't be so hard. Maybe being somewhere else will help. Maybe I'm not as broken as I think I am. Or that he's told me I am. That's all I have for now. I've been thinking nonstop today and really need to take a break.

[diamondcitydarlin]

yall keep liking my death in paradise gifs and i keep getting feelings again so I want to talk about Richard and Camille bc I have never stopped thinking about them ever

I've always been a HUGE sucker for an accidental love story. Like, the kind that is written right as they are. The kind where the two characters are absolutely thrown together against their will, circumstances demanding, are absolutely worlds apart (seemingly) in terms of everything, and yet in each other they find what they both need and may have been unwittingly looking for. The process of falling in love is so unexpected from both of them that they don't even realize it's happening until they're already there and far too gone to pretend it could be anything else.

I love how Camille pulls Richard out of the various defense mechanisms he's had to use to this point just to get an ounce of respect and human decency from others. She teases him, sure, but these things he does to protect himself are unnecessary with her; she respects him and he respects her and that's all there is to it and maybe that's why Richard can start playing along after awhile; chasing her down the beach when she sets his TV to French programming, for example. Richard learned quickly that Camille's teasing of him came from a place of affection and friendliness and not an attempt to undermine or disrespect him as he's accustomed to, and so finally, he has friends. He has people he can joke with. Let his guard down around without worrying how they might use it against him. Dwayne, Fidel and Camille don't do that shit.

But that isn't to say Camille doesn't have her own trust issues, that which Richard supersedes because he doesn't use manipulation tactics or smoke and mirrors; Richard says exactly how he feels about any situation and I think for as much as that irritates her I think she also finds it admirable. He may stumble over them at times, but every word Richard says is honest. When she tells him enough is enough, he listens , sees the error of his ways, and changes how he addresses her from then on. Sure that exchange in the hotel room was heated, but I think it set a precedent of trust between them that only grew stronger. Camille learned that Richard would respect her boundaries without question; Richard learned that Camille would tell him honestly when he's overstepping, not use it against him.

And I mean yes of course there is something inescapably romantic about her keeping his spirit with her all this time, but they were sO CLOSE to having everything together and his death was such an unnecessary thing when we get down to it (WHY COULDN'T HE HAVE GONE BACK TO WORK IN THE UK, IT WAS LITERALLY DROPPED AS A POSSIBILITY IN BOTH SEASONS) that I really can't do anything but make my own version of the story where they're still working together, maybe married now. Maybe instead of DYING Richard yknow did what was foreshadowed and had to move back to the UK for work or his parents and in the meantime he and Camille continued talking through emails and phone calls until their paths crossed again. Camille's departure from Saint Marie COULD HAVE been her going to the UK to work with/be with Richard, and then we'd see them again later as a duo.

Anyway. I love them. They deserved so much better. It's sometimes hard for me to believe they didn't get it in canon.

[the-nysh]

Did you see shiro ripping reddit a new one btw? Probably the only person in the fanbase brave enough to vocalise that Saitama’s be-all and end-all savior chara concept is problematic and other cast members have to suffer to maintain that image. Garou being the latest and most egregious example.

Oh yeah. :') Somebody over there has to do it. Ever since the redraw I've shared their same concerns (as in: willing to see the manga commit to its own thing, provided Garou’s core characterization & agency remain intact that is), and I'm pretty sure I've received several of their messages in concerned outraged solidarity too (so hi there), because I recognize the same strong language, and many of my own words from posts I've written, in support of their reddit arguments. They’re one of the rare few users over there who's always read Garou 100% in good faith over the years, so I know their care, trust, and dedication to his character and the understanding of his nuanced, beneficial narrative themes run deep. That's respect from me. However, holding back any shred of patience or pretend courtesy anymore vs reddit's continued bad faith idiocy (or blissful illiteracy) towards Garou's character, when now there's morally no excuse to try and defend the cruelty he's been made to suffer, is a completely different battle (that I don’t have the patience to engage), so godspeed there! :'D

In their unfiltered words:

Garou is the best character this series has by far and large. The only properly fleshed out character period. Robbing him of his agency by using a cosmic device to wank Saitama’s OP-and-so-heroic self shows that OPM at its core is just another isekaishit for self-inserters, with a rapidly forming MC stalker harem even. And that is not a Garou problem, that’s a fucking pattern already and a Saitama problem. He can only exist as a protagonist if the efforts and desires of other characters are constantly undermined. In the manga everyone is a victim of an absurd and explicitly evil cosmic parasite and only fucking Saitama is allowed to solve that shit with his magical punches. Garou is robbed of his agency and turned a damsel to wank Saitama, and S classes are just overdramatic punching bags also primed to start wanking their savior Saitama.

Which...I understand. Because on one hand of looking at it, it's true. In terms of the story's expanded real estate and narrative focus, imo Garou is best boy, no disagreement there.

In my words, his manga self is someone too fundamentally good and inherently heroic, that he literally had to be mindraped into corruption against his will for any of this to happen. (For him to 'go evil' as reddit dudes ~wanted~ simply for the surface 'edgy,' or for the sake of a flashier 'good fight' vs Saitama, at Garou's entire 100+chs of established core character's expense.) Because it was otherwise impossible for Garou to ever willingly lose his key humanity or put on a believable 'evil' performance to test the heroes anymore, unless some other Literally True Evil being ('god') forcibly did it FOR him. Trapped into a corner even after he refused, but still mindraped into a corrupted faceless void of his former real self, involuntarily turned into a victim to god's cruel agenda against humanity - its eradication, and now everyone has to unfairly suffer from that violation. Congratulations. (Where it's essentially become Saitama vs god’s agenda now, while throwing everything else of value and even the nuance to question what’s beyond ‘good vs evil’ anymore out the window~) And I can't believe some fans still have the gall to say that this was ever something 'good' for Garou to deserve. That this is ‘cool.’ To completely lose the best parts of what make him Him without his consent, and corrupted into enacting overkill nuclear wrath on the world (where it's no joke or pretense anymore) which had never aligned with what he ever actually wanted to achieve in the first place (fixing the biased injustice of the world, towards saving it). So please fuck right off with that abhorrently vile victim blaming bullshit towards him, or believing any of this 'god' stuff is a true reflection of Garou's inner will/desires, or you've proven you never cared for or had faith in Garou's actual character at all.

...But things are destroyed only IF the manga is actually going for that type of arc ending with Saitama solving everything for him though, which would yes, be terrible for all other characters involved (or well, unless Saitama has magic defenses vs radiation damage I'm unaware of, he's fine so there’s no need to worry about him) since then everyone else (but especially Garou) would essentially be sacrificed only to make Saitama ‘look good.’ (Which in my opinion of his performance as a good effective hero this time, he’s.....alarmingly come up short to properly earn the heroic title of ‘one punch man’ yet. Just as King’s lectured he’s not anywhere close to the ideal of ‘greatest hero.’ Pre-redraw he was much better and considerate, but not this route.)

Because remember how many posts I made expressing wariness and warning the danger of Saitama's (problematic) approach to essentially 'bully' and push Garou further? How I knew (from personal experience with a mentally unwell -bipolar- family member who was driven to....) how none of this would be helpful. It would only make things worse. Now we see why. Because if Saitama had taken Tareo's promise seriously without messing around, under oath/obligation -on the job even- as a reliable hero to actually help & save Garou, then all of this could have been prevented. But now? After indirectly pushing it to this point of no return, the same detached Saitama swooping in to simply 'punch' god's corruption out of Garou FOR him, would just feel foully unearned. Hell no. And again, doing all the work for him still wouldn't actually help Garou's psychological problems with his identity at all. So...thanks for nothing, I guess?

No actual Garou fan wants to see that happen, or made to feel like all their time and emotional investment in his story thus far has either been wasted by the author or suddenly thrown away in the trash, where nothing else but Saitama matters, as I said here. Because doing that, by elevating one character just to put down another - at the entire other’s expense even, only fosters resentment and spiteful dislike towards the former. So it’s surely made us Garou fans hate ‘god’!!! 8′D But under no circumstances do I want to start disliking Saitama out of spite either, as that would only unpleasantly lead towards the manga’s dropability. So is ONE sure he wants to do that to the Garou fanbase? By losing a huge portion of his most dedicated (eastern) readers? Esp if that’s all there is to look forward to at the climax of his arc? Really? There has to be more to it.

Where there’s some meaning or reason why, that ultimately works in service of Garou’s hero journey - where he can finally discover/realize/accept his real self’s potential, after discerning and rejecting the indiscriminate mass destruction he never intended, to assert what he’s always truly wanted instead (but could never fully believe in) deep down, towards his decision to become the type of hero he’s always denied himself. Not determined by the rules or expectations set by anyone, beyond even those controlled by ‘god.’ In which the ‘magic’ solution to this whole crisis also lies within himself, to somehow mentally overcome, overrule, or reverse. If there is any faith still left in Garou’s strength of character at all, to help him save himself. (Tareo, I’m counting on you~) Because Saitama can certainly punch things, but he narratively can’t solve something this integral to his character for him (esp if there’s any weird callback to Child Emperor’s mental ‘win’ over Phoenix Man’s corruption attempt, with Saitama’s ‘assistance.’) ...Otherwise where’s the catharsis? Then there’s really No Point for this ‘god’ development to happen to Garou at all. Beyond pointless physical fight escalation in which we already know the winner anyway.

So what else is there? It’s why I’ve made speculative posts like this. Where in all my highest hopium, if Saitama’s punch can’t directly solve Garou’s problems for him or save everyone from the effects of radiation damage, or even if Blast & friends have no magic solutions to it either (esp if they’re too busy trying to fix god’s dimensional seal)....then who else has the impossible magic power right now to change things? Garou. :) Especially if he succeeds in taking back his agency and turns that power around, from destruction into...? His own. To defy god and save the world. (Oh it’d be a miracle.) But by his own assertive choice of will this time. When saving lives (and the day) is a choice fully on purpose (just like he’s already done for Tareo & Bang), not by accident. He’d be just that good at it. 

[redrisingsun]

Swedish Holidays for all your Young Royals needs

Due to popular demand (by like five people) here’s a brief description of all the major Swedish holidays and how they’re celebrated because I can’t stand here and pretend as if we really celebrate Christmas the 25th. We have more holidays, I've only written about the ones we celebrate in my family. I come from a working class family and live in Southern Sweden, however I do have family in Stockholm. I'm not religious in any way and as far as I know, most families don't celebrate these holidays because they're religious, but because it's tradition.

yall better appreciate this, it took me literal hours

January

1: Dubbed as one of the collective pizza days in my household. It's the day after New Year, and most people either order in or eat leftovers.

Week 2 or 3: Most people return to their jobs, schools and other daily activities.

February/March

Fettisdagen ("Fat Tuesday"): celebrated 47 days before Easter. The actual date varies, all from early February to early March. It's an old Christian tradition where you'd eat fatty foods before the "before Easter"-fast and is supposedly a thing in other Christian countries as well. These days, most people celebrate by eating semlor with their family, and most don't fast before Easter.

The semla is a sweet bun with whipped cream and almond paste.

Våffeldagen (Waffle Day, 25th of March): I think this day stems from a Christian tradition, but these days the day is mostly to get together with family and eat waffles.

April

Påsk (Easter): Again, the date varies, but Easter is usually in April. Easter stems from Christianity and is celebrated to remember Jesus' death and resurrection. Easter spans over a week, but I personally only celebrate one of those days.

Påskafton (direct translation: Easter Eve, English translation: Holy Saturday) is the Saturday of the Easter week. In my family, the children get to look for Easter eggs (often filled with candy).

Some children also dress up as Påskkärringar (Easter crones) and I think this tradition has to do with the Witch Trials in Sweden, but I'm not sure. Chances are you won't need to know anything about this for your Young Royal fics, because mostly girls dress up.

Sometimes, we decorate eggs.

Later, we sit down to eat together and spend time with our families. Common things to eat for Easter is potatoes, eggs, herring and meatballs.

Valborgsmässoafton (Walpurgis Night, 30th): We burn a big bonfire in the evening to celebrate that spring is here. I live in a fairly small town, so mostly everyone gathers at one spot and burns the fire together. When the bonfire is burned, most people go home and that's it. It's also seen as a reason to have a party (mostly for teenagers and young adults, I think) and get drunk as fuck.

May/June

Sveriges Nationaldagen (Sweden's National Day, 6th of June): Most people are home from school and work. We hoist the Swedish flag. Idk. However, the Royal Family celebrates by getting dressed up in Swedish costumes. This year, the King held a speech and the family went to Skansen (which is an amusement park/zoo. You can read more about it here). There's music and the military does their weird little thing. You can watch the National Day Celebration on Skansen from 2014 here.

Midsommarafton (Midsummer): date varies, but is celebrated a Friday in late June. I'm sure there's a Christian explanation for this one, but I don't personally know it.

Midsommar (midsummer) means middle of the summer.

Again, this is a day to eat and spend time with your family (or drink, depending on who you are). We eat pretty much the same things for Midsummer as we do for Easter.

For Midsummer we also dance around a Midsommarstång (direct translation: Midsummer Pole, English translation: Maypole) and make flower crowns.

How Midsummer is celebrated depends a lot on your age (most teenagers and young adults again see this as a reason to party), where you're from and a million other things.

My personal favorite Midsummer tradition is probably more common in the country than in the city, for example. You're supposed to pick seven different flowers without saying a word. Then, you sleep with the flowers under your pillow. Supposedly, you'll dream of your future husband (or wife! But I think it's more common that women and girls do this). This tradition also varies. Some people say you need nine flowers and some people say you have to climb over fencing for it to count.

Some teenagers or young adults spend time with their friends to party, instead!

You can watch part of a Midsummer celebration at Skansen here.

The Royal Family usually celebrate Midsummer privately, but I think there's usually new pictures of the entire family around this time.

Day after Midsummer: Collective Pizza Day 2. Everyone either eats takeout or leftovers because no one can be bothered to make anything and like half of the population has the worst hangover they've had since New Year.

Summer Holiday Note: most people in Sweden have four weeks of paid leave each summer.

July/August

Kräftpremiär (Crayfish party) - date varies, normally early August. Basically people get together to eat crayfish and drink. You can usually get paper plates and plastic cups and whatever with ugly crayfish motives (which is fun), but I've never done this.

October

Halloween (30th): Halloween is nowhere near as big in Sweden as it is in the States. We just buy some lösgodis ("loose candy", where you can throw whatever kind of candy you want in a bag. See pictures). Trick or treat is so unusual in the town I grew up I've only ever had one kid ask for candy and when I celebrated Halloween with my grandparents (in a city not far from Stockholm), it was the same. I usually buy some candy and watch a horror movie, but that's about it.

However, Halloween is (again) a reason for teenagers and young adults to drink and party.

November

Alla Helgons Dag (All Saints' Day): Date varies, usually early November. It's a day to remember the dead and we usually light a candle at the grave yard.

December

Första Advent (First Advent): Date varies. Sunday four weeks from Christmas Eve. We mostly just light a candle, honestly. Then, each Sunday for the next four weeks, we light a candle. Here's actually the Crown Princess wishing Happy First Advent with her family! Unfortunately without English subtitles, but here's the translation: "Today is the First Advent. Advent means arrival and hope, something that feels extra important this year. (her husband lights the candle) We want to wish everyone a happy first advent!"

Andra Advent (Second Advent): date varies. We light the second candle.

Tredje Advent (Third Advent): date varies. We light the third candle.

Fjärde Advent (Fourth Advent): date varies. We light the fourth candle. In my family we usually decorate the tree this Sunday.

Julafton (Christmas Eve): Celebrated the 24th. YES, THE 24TH. Christmas Eve obviously varies from family to family, but there's a few things most people have in common. Usually, we get one gift in our sock (which hangs on our bedroom doors in my home, because we don't have a mantle) when we wake up. As kids me and my brother almost always got a movie or something to keep us busy until it was time to leave for our grandparents house.

For lunch we eat the Christmas dinner. It's the same damned food as our other holidays. Herring, meatballs, potatoes, sausages etc, but now, we also have julskinka (Christmas ham). Some people eat ham even for Easter, but we only really eat it for Christmas in my family. Obviously the food varies a little from season to season, but as a picky eater I always just eat potatoes, meatballs and ham.

At 3, Kalle Anka (Donald Duck) is on. Yeah, we watch the same damned stuff every year. It's tradition, alright? Anyway, Donald Duck lasts for an hour or so, and first you get to see Santa work in his workshop, then Disney characters wish you a Merry Christmas with scenes from their movies (original, I know). There's Lady and the Tramp, Donald Duck (obviously) and a million other things. Then there's also one or two trailers for movies Disney will release the coming year. I really couldn't be bothered to find everything on YouTube for you to watch, sorry!

After Donald Duck, we open the Christmas gifts in my family. Normally we just rip out gifts open lmao.

After opening the gifts, we usually eat a second time. This time it's time for porridge. Tomtegröt (Santa porridge) is sweet and often served with cinnamon. Usually, everyone is so stuffed at this point that you only eat because you "have" to eat porridge for Christmas (again, at least in my family).

The last thing we do in my family, is to get a puzzle out. My grandpa almost always gets a new puzzle for Christmas, so we'll put that on the dining table and work on it together until it's getting too late for us to stay.

The Royal Family usually release new pictures of the family for Christmas and wish everyone a Merry Christmas.

Day after Christmas: Not a collective pizza day! There's usually too much Christmas food left to be able to order pizza. Usually, we have Christmas food to eat for four-ish days after Christmas, and by then you're getting really tired of it.

Sometimes we watch something on television, but for the most part we just sit around and spend time together. I think the Crown Princess read something from the Bible this year? I'm not actually sure if the Royal Family go to the Christmas Service, but I don't think so.

Nyårsafton (New Year's Eve): last day of the year. We shoot fireworks, eat food and dessert and spend time with family. This day we normally eat something "fancy" or something you we don't usually eat.

At twelve, we go out to light some fireworks (or just watch fireworks). When that dies down, it's time for the cheese platter. My dad wants it, no one else ever eats from it, we still do it every single year because "it's not New Year's without it". When we've had the cheese platter, everyone go to sleep and that's that.

People obviously celebrate this differently, as well. It's not uncommon to go see your friends or have guests over, and some people party rather than have fancy dinner with their parents. I personally prefer spending time with my parents, because that's what New Year's is for me.

Some people give resolutions, but I think it's more common in the States.

Christmas Holiday Note: It's common for people to not work between Christmas and New Year's Eve where I'm from.

Some things you might want to know about the Swedish Royal Family and Sweden overall:

The Royal Family in Young Royals is not the real Royal Family (obviously).

The Royal Family usually spends time on Öland during the summers.

Chances are Wilhelm and his family live at Drottningholm Slott (Drottningholm Palace) and not Stockholm Slott (Stockholm Palace). Drottningholm is used as a home for the current King and Queen and is located west of Stockholm. However, the scenes where Wilhelm is home is shot at a palace called Stora Sundby Slott. I doubt Wilhelm and his family would live here if they were the actual Royal Family since it's used as a place for people to gather when they want to hunt for sport. However, if they truly live at Stora Sundby, it takes almost two hours to drive from Stockholm to the castle.

Bjärstad is AT LEAST two hours away from Stockholm.

Bjärstad to Stora Sundby Castle takes approximately an hour and a half by car, and between nine and twelve hours by bus. Which means these two boys can't just take a twenty minute bus to see each other.

Bjärstad to Drottningholm takes a little over two hours by car and four-ish hours by bus.

Bjärstad to Stockholm Slott takes over two hours by car and three and a half hours by bus.

Hillerska is shot at Kaggeholms Slott (Kaggeholm Palace), and is a hotel.

The age of consent in Sweden is 15, HOWEVER it's illegal to have sex with someone four or more years younger than you if you're not both over the age of 18. Let me illustrate: -Person A is 15 and Person B is 15. It's legal because both are 15. -Person A is 15 and Person B is 20. It's illegal, because there's a five year old gap between them. -Person A is 15 and Person B is 18. It's legal (but probably frowned upon), because they're both 15 or older and there's not a four year gap between them. -Person A is 18 and Person B is 30. It's legal, because both are 18 or older. Idk if this makes sense or if this is what it looks like anymore, but this is what it was like when I still went to school. Obviously people aren't going to run around and call you names if you happen to date someone four years younger than you (I know a girl who met a guy when she was 14 and he was over 20), but please, be mindful of this. Our age of consent doesn't give you a right to be weird and nasty to teenagers (yes, I'm talking about Edvin).

Also, the Royal Family have their own website, which you can find here. As far as I can see, there's more information on the Swedish page, but there's plenty translated to English. You can also read of the Swedish Royal Family and its history on the palaces's website, here.

All pictures have been taken straight from Google. I haven't used any sources, because this is shit I do every single year with my family. Feel free to correct me or add things you do, but keep it respectful, please!

Friendly reminder that I've simplified some parts of this to make sense, specifically the dates of the Advent celebrations.

If there's anything you don't understand or want more information on, you're welcome to contact me! I take pretty long to reply, but I'll definitely try to get back to you as soon as possible. Thank you!

[uselessidiotsquad]

🌹🥀💫 for Riag!

@mystery-salad

Riag appreciation hours! Ty for the ask :D

🌹 Where in the world does your OC feel most at home? Is there any reason why? If it’s not the place they were born, where were they born? Is there a certain somebody that makes them feel at home where ever they may be? What does home mean to them?

The Grove - sort of. Yes, it's where he was 'born' and where his people are from. So in that sense, it's home. When he was younger he felt more of a connection to the other Sylvari there but given all that's happened, he sort of doesn't resonate with them. Especially with Ventari's teachings.

So yes, he's at home there and honestly if he lived any place else he'd always worry about the Grove. But it's still slightly off. Home as a person would have to be Trahearne, no surprise there - but again it's Home ™

Slightly off again. The most comfortable he can be around someone is with him, but there's a level of apprehension still. Of expecting things to go wrong. So he's at home around him, but it's also like waiting for the other shoe to drop all the time. That's just a him thing since Maguuma, not because there's actually any apprehension between the two.

Home, to him, is someplace where he can afford to let the grip of control loose a little. Where if he slips up or can't quash things quick enough it's not the end of the world. A place where he can have a bad day and it's just a bad day, it's not a mark against him. If he absolutely has to be vulnerable then it's a safe place to be.

🥀 How would your OC decorate a notebook or journal? What kind of things are written in there? Could you give an example of a nice entry?

Answered here!

💫What is your favourite fact about this character and why?

Oh man, oh man I have so many. I'll try to keep it in the single digits hehehehe.

I've mentioned before the accidental plant theory that happened with him but I'll recap. He was based on a flower that grows where I live. I didn't know what the flower was originally. Discovering it way later, I ran to look up the meanings (as you do when you're a plant nerd) and found it was the perfect flower for him.

Primrose. Meaning young love, and I can't live without you.

I also love that he got my plant lore knowledge. Talk about meta of a meta.

I also have had so many accidental things line up for him that I DID NOT plan and just they unfolded that way! Like for instance, in the early player story, he helped out Occam. I didn't think much of it until replaying it on another character but this line jumps out at me at beats me over the head.

And then with the old

In both of Apatia and The Big Ouch ™ it was a matter of being later and having to essentially mercy kill. Sorry beeb, accidentally made your Worst Fear foreshadowing x2.

I didn't plan this! I am not that smart! It just happened that way!

And last so I don't gush about him for years - I adore that love hasn't 'fixed' anything. By that I mean I see a lot of stories and a lot of characters where love happens all sudden wow look at all the things fixed in their life. This especially irritates me in regards to mental health, because it does not work like that.

Even a literal miracle (in my canon, the return of the 'hearne) does not fix his issues. It makes them less sharp and brings more joy but it's not a WOW AND EVERYTHING WAS HAPPY THE END. Because... no that's not how it works. Depression isn't fixed, ptsd isn't fixed, trauma and psychological damaged is not fixed just because love is present. It allows for some new growth but does not heal what has been injured and broken.

[beyoncesdragon]

title: catch up now? 

× pairing: Idol!Jungkook x Interviewer!Reader, old friends from highschool kinda stuff, abandoned but maybe rediscovered love on both sides. 

× summary: Three years are a long time. In three years, many things can and will change. But three years hadn’t been quite enough to change how two people feel about each other. 

× warnings: a little teeny bit angsty but it’s nothing, really. Mainly fluff, some flustered, overly eager Gguk and old memories coming up. 

× wordcount: 2k

× a/n: Not gonna lie, this might be one of my favourite pieces I've ever written. I really hope you enjoy this too! it’s somehow inspired by ‘Love Maze’ (BTS) and also ‘50 Proof’ (eaJ). Will probably not have a pt.2

main masterlist | bts masterlist

When he had read the name of the interview host - or hostess more like - Jungkook had already felt the familiar tingle in the pit of his stomach that he had thought had disappeared over the course of time. Yet, he wasn’t surprised that it was still there.

He had however not dared to hope that it could actually be you, there sure were other people called (Y/N) (Y/L/N), who has pursued their dream of becoming an interviewer, media person, whatnot. He didn’t even know if you had actually graduated uni and made it in the job, hence he hadn’t seen any of you in about four years of him debuting now. He had occasionally checked out your Instagram or Twitter, yet he shied away from following you on any social media platform. You weren’t really public about your work or personal life on both, you mainly retweeted stuff (he found out about your love for Bingsu and Makgeolli ice cream like that) and posted a few selfies or landscapes. He hoped that you had been able to pursue your dream of traveling around for a bit, in South Korea and outside of it. Though again, he didn’t know.

Jimin was seated right in front of him and Jungkook couldn’t help but nervously play with his hyungs honey blond dyed hair. Jimin chuckled surprised yet amused about his open display of nervousness and turned around slowly.

“Everything okay, Jungkook-ah? You seem more nervous than usually.” He remarked, making Namjoon look over to the maknae in wonder. “He does, right? I thought so too. Did something happen?” Jungkook only shook his head.

Not yet, he thought to himself.

The cameras around them started to blink all at once, the light has been set up correctly and the camera and sound team had settled down around them in the dark. Manager and publicists stood somewhere in the back, swallowed up by the dark. The only person that was missing still, was you. Or the person called (Y/N) (Y/L/N), Jungkook tried to tell himself.

Suddenly there was a soft laugh from somewhere off the scenes and his heart tripped over its own beat and finally, finally, you stepped into the light.

You looked pretty as ever, grown into your features entirely, like a lotus flower finally in full bloom. Jungkook had to swallow dry. The light coral red of your lip balm complimented your skin and the subtle almost invisible make up you wore, accentuated your already beautiful features even more. You hadn’t changed your hair much, but it was a bit longer and looked so soft in the bright light. His eyes almost subconsciously darted to your fingers, searching for evidence of a possible relationship. He was almost ashamed how quickly he ended up thinking about this, his own boldness making him even more flustered. (There was no formal looking ring on your ringfinger though, to his relief.)

There was a warm smile on your lips as you bowed deeply to them all, greeting them respectfully. The boys returned your greeting immediately and a bunch of annyeong haseyo-s sounded through the studio. Jungkook felt Namjoon look over at him again, a piercing gaze Jungkook knew he wouldn’t be able to withstand if he met it. So he just kept looking at everything but Namjoon...not that this was hard to do when you were right in front of him.

“Thank you so much for being here with us.” You said with a smile, looking at everyone with the same look of respect and polite distance. Like you were supposed to, at work, as a professional. Like you didn't know them personally. Everyone, including Jungkook.

He felt his heart drop to his stomach. Could it be that you...forgot about him? It couldn’t really be, right? How would you actually be able to, you really...in this moment your eyes crossed again and something flickered in your eyes, a facade crumbled for a few seconds only. It was an amused twinkle, like a cheeky wink and a minimal curl of your lips. 

Acknowledgement.

And Jungkook’s heart did multiple flips, breath caught in his throat and eyes widened.

You had started with the questions, keeping the conversation light and flowing. The vibe in the room was comfortable and built up on mutual respect - yet Jungkook felt as if he was sitting on red-hot needles. He wanted to talk to you, ask about how you had been, what you were doing (if you had a boyfriend) if you were happy, if you got a cat, how your mother’s little business was going (he’d anonymously purchased countless items, to support your family), if your favourite colour still was cyan blue and your still religiously bought Pajeon and Makgeolli on rainy days, if you ever spent a second of your day thinking of him (because he did).

Him, your somewhat ex-best friend from highschool, him, the one you spent hours talking to in the ungodly hours of the morning, him who you had lost your first kiss to (though lost wasn’t the right word: you gave it to him more like). Him who you had poked fun of when the first girl approached him in his Rookie days and he’d been flustered to no end.

Him, who had promised to you that he wouldn’t abandon your friendship and yet the two of you drifted apart anyways.

Not for the lack of trying on either side though. Jungkook’s schedule had just become even fuller, his nights shorter, training longer and fans more obsessive. And you had seen each other less often, greetings were shorter and late night talks turned into good night wishes over text quicker.

You on your part weren’t mad, a little disappointed maybe. Sad for sure, but not mad. After all, you had expected it to turn out like that. So had the rest of your little circle, Haneul, Hwang, Kyong and Myunghee. Whilst the five of you had supported Jungkook on his journey with all you’ve got, you all tried to overcome the obvious pain of him drifting off.

Some (mainly Hwan and Kyong) with working harder in school for example. You did that too, but sometimes you also partied a little harder, were awake at three AM a little more often, missed him a lot more. It hurt letting someone you love go.

Jungkook and you had always been a bit...closer. Why you didn’t know, how you couldn’t possibly explain. But you were and him rising into the heights and new dimensions of being an idol destroyed this almost completely. This strange world of fame, those walls of flashing cameras, the flow of expensive goods and seas of screaming people, that was his world. He was a star, figuratively and somewhat literally. He shone more radiant, higher, longer, prettier and too bright for an innocent, young love to coexist.

So you stayed behind, soon having lost his number due to him having to change it, his contact information soon had less to say than what you could find on the internet.

His new hair colour? Well, you could google it. Height? Current weight? Several fan sights knew the answer. Achievements? The internet again.

 It was strange, ridiculous to some extent. And it hurt. But you couldn’t blame him, so you never did.

⋄

When you had heard that you would be interviewing BTS last week you could help but feel scared. You hadn’t seen him face to face for three or so years, three years with no FaceTime, texting, three years of not seeing his bunny smile, smiled just for you.

And when you had seen him again, laid eyes on him for the first time in thirty-five months, you realised that nothing you ever felt for him had faded away. It was all the same again, your heart still jumped in your chest and your stomach still fluttered whenever he did as much as breathing. The only thing that had changed was his height and him having had the biggest glow up you had witnessed in your life, yours included – though this Jungkook would disagree vehemently. 

This Jungkook who got pulled out of his thoughts and memories almost violently, as you directed a first question at him only.

“I…” he started, gulping hardly, having forgotten the question already halfway.

“Sorry I can’t – how have you been?” you stopped shortly, stunned and a tad confused at first. You hadn’t expected him to be so bold. Or clumsy, for that matter. Yet you couldn’t help but giggle, and all the unsaid words and ignored truths between the two of you disappeared into smoke, taking all tension with them. Just like that.

“I’ve been fine, Gukie. Busy. Long-time no see, hm. How about you?” somewhere behind the cameras someone dropped a pen and there were multiple gasps being heard. The rest of the bangtan boys didn’t look any better; Jimin had his mouth open, Taehyung was looking back and forth between the two of you, Yoongi just froze, Jin and Hoseok had clasped their hands in front of their mouths and Namjoon just looked like someone poured a bucket of ice water over his head.

But Jungkook? Jungkook was smiling widely, his bunny smile, smiled just for you. 

“Busy too. Yes, very long time no see.” He replied sheepishly, a small laugh escaping his lips as he looked around the dead silent studio. “Why…how do you know each other?” Yoongi finally asked, eyes snapping back and forth between the two of you.

“Well I guess we have to tell them now. We know each other from back in Highschool. We were pretty close friends back then.” You explained softly, giving him a small smile. Jungkook nodded quickly. “My apologies. I didn’t wanted to completely ruin the interview but…I haven’t seen you in three or so years. Sorry.” You waved it off. “It’s okay, Jungkook. We will catch up later, alright?” Jungkook nodded, making the mistake of looking over to Namjoon, who looked like he finally understood everything. “Is that why you were so…never mind.” He ended in a mumble and Jungkook was glad he did.

⋄

The second the interview was officially finished and all the cameras shut off, Jungkook was on his feet and approaching you. He didn’t even care about formalities anymore as he just wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into a tight hug.

The first thing he noticed was that he couldn’t nestle his face in the crook of your neck as easy as he had been able to do in high-school. The second thing was that you had changed your perfume into something more flowery and fresh. The third thing he noticed was how much he liked having you in his arms again, especially because he could now rest his head on top of yours.

The first thing you noticed was how broad your Kookie had become. Broad and tall and firm everywhere. The second thing you noticed was how he smelled more expensive, faintly musky but still very much like Jungkook. A scent you could pick out from a thousand, unique and everything you loved. The third thing you noticed was how familiar and how looked after you felt in his arms, how protected from every harm. You had missed this feeling.

“Aigoo, Junkookie!” Jin yelled from behind, causing you to chuckle embarrassed and trying to break the hug. But Jungkook simply tightened his arms around you, having no intentions of letting you go any time soon.

“Just ignore them. They’ll leave, eventually.” His voice was muffled by the skin on your neck, since he had now buried his face there, taking deep breaths.

“And we?” you asked with a small laugh, not moving either. “We stay. We catch up. Got a lot of that to do.” Sounded good enough to you…just that you had expected them to make a bee-line for the exit after the cameras cut due to their busy schedule.

“Catch up now?” you asked after a few seconds of him still having his arms around you, unmoving. The young man shook his head.

“No…not right now.” He took a deep breath, hiding his face in the crook of your neck, mumbling against your skin and the fabric of your blouse. 

“In five minutes. Let me just hold you for a little while, you…you have no idea how much I missed you.” 

If he only knew.

— ✩ thank u for reading ✩ —

[thebookreader12345]

750 Followers Celebration - Q&A

Thank you so much for supporting me through this journey! You guys don't know how much this means to me. Every single one of you is amazing.

Below the cut are my answers to the questions that you all submitted.

Q: Do you think Jay is going to become Sergeant this season? A: There has been a lot of debate over this question because of the past few seasons and all of the "Easter eggs", like the sergeant exam poster hanging in the background of the show. In my opinion, I do not believe Jay will become Sergeant. Yet. I think it won't be until the beginning of next season because, if this is a possible storyline, I would expect that the producers and writers would make the finale of season 9 about Voight stepping down/getting promoted, etc.

Q: Did Chicago Justice deserve more episodes? A: I'm sort of split with this question. I loved the fact that there was a big episode involving Kevin, and they always included people from Med, Fire, and PD in some of the episodes. However, the whole plot of the episodes was kind of slow because it wasn't like they were police officers and could go out and chase suspects and arrest people and what not. Their job was just to gather the evidence and then present it in court. I think for many, the show fell flat because there wasn't much action, and part of me does agree with that, but the whole idea of the show itself was kind of cool.

Q: What would make you stop watching each Chicago show? A: This is a tough question because I've only ever dropped one show that I can think of, and it was only because the plotline got really dumb. Maybe if some major characters died in each show I'd stop watching it? But then again, I love the One Chicago universe so much that I don't think even that would stop me from watching. So yeah. I really don't know.

Q: Do you believe in magic? A: As much as I would love for magic to be real, I don't believe it is. But I feel like everyone thinks that way. Cause lets be honest, Harry Potter and Disney make magic look so cool. However, we all know deep down somewhere that it's almost impossible for certain things to be real, and magic just so happens to be one of them.

Q: Are you superstitious? A: I'm not the most superstitious person out there, but I do somewhat follow a few superstitions. Whenever I find a penny on the ground with heads facing up, I pick it up because I believe I'll get good luck. Doing the whole "fingers crossed" thing is something I do a lot. I believe you shouldn't open an umbrella in the house or else you'll receive bad luck. Broken mirrors are bad omens. Those are the top 4 I believe in, but other than that, I'm not really too superstitious.

Q: Is your perception of yourself similar or the same to how others perceive you? A: I mean, I would hope so. I appreciate my level of smarts, and whenever my friends acknowledge them or compliment me on them it makes my day. However, with that, people think that I'm always only doing things to boost my intelligence. For example, I love to read. So whenever I say that I didn't do much over the weekend, people always assume that I read a bunch, when I really didn't. Or that I always study for tests or do homework like a week before it's do. That is not the case. But for the most part, I believe my perception of myself is the same as how other people perceive me.

Q: Who is your favorite couple on each One Chicago show? A: Okay, so for Med, there aren't really any couples at the moment besides Maggie and Ben, whom I love but they aren't my favorite, so I'm gonna pick a past couple. When I first started Med, Manstead was my prime ship, so I'll choose them. Will had been pining after Natalie for so long so I was glad when they finally got together. For Fire, it's gotta be Kelly and Stella. They were literally made for each other, and they support each other with everything. Also, they are so cute together and all of Firehouse 51 ships them as well! And for PD, while I do love Burzek, Upstead is my favorite ship at the moment. I've seen the connection between Hailey and Jay since season 5. You don't understand how angry I was in season 7 when Hailey was so close to confessing her feelings. So season 8 made me very happy when Jay and Hailey finally got together.

Q: Jay and Lindsey or Jay and Hailey? A: I respect everyone's opinions on this matter, so hopefully you all respect mine. I thought that Erin was almost toxic in a way for Jay. She continuously broke his heart when all he wanted to do was help him. But what really does it for me is that she left Chicago without telling him goodbye. Hailey, on the other hand, has pushed Jay to seek out help when he needed it, like when she recommended he take seeing a therapist seriously to help with his PTSD, and she is always there for him, no matter what. That's why I believe Hailey and Jay are the better pairing.

Q: Which character death got to you the most? A: There have been too many sad deaths in the One Chicago world. But if I had to pick one, I've gotta go with Otis on Chicago Fire. Otis was always one of my favorite characters, even way back when I watched Fire with my dad when it was first coming out. He was witty and funny, and his friendship with Cruz was everything. So, when I watched the episode where he died, I was full on balling. I had to pause the episode for 10 minutes because I couldn't stop.

Q: Who is your favorite character on each show and why? A: I'm gonna do favorite male and female character because I've got too many favorites from each show. On Med, my favorites are Will and Natalie. Will has been my favorite since day one, and I like that he will go out of his way to help patients, even if it means he could get in serious trouble. Natalie, even though she's not in the show, always pushes for the best of care for her patients, and whenever she dealt with kids it was always the sweetest thing. On Fire, I like Kelly and Sylvie. Kelly is so headstrong and driven, and he will do anything to protect the other members of Squad 3. Sylvie is such a hard worker and you can tell she is passionate about her job. I feel so bad that she's had to go through so many partners. On PD I love Jay and Hailey. Jay has not always been my favorite male character. Back when I watched the show for the first time, I adored Adam. However, I love that Jay has such good morals and is always pushing to do the right thing even when Voight disagreed. Now, it took a few episodes for me to warm up to Hailey, but after seeing her be so badass, it was hard not to like her.

Q: Where do you get inspiration for your stories?/How do you get inspiration when there's not a request? A: This question is always hard to answer because I really don't know. Most of the time I'm fulfilling requests sent in by you guys and I just write what comes to the top of my mind. If there are requests that are not requested and I come up with them on my own, chances are I saw the plot somewhere else, like in a book or show or movie, and I just tweaked it a bit to fit the One Chicago universe. Either that happens, or while I'm trying to fall asleep, I make up random scenarios in my head, and if I find one that I really like, I'll make a note of it on my phone so I don't forget it, and then I'll write about it.

Q: Do you think Brett and Casey are endgame? Why or why not? A: I'm gonna go with yes on this one. Now, Brettsey is not one of my top ships in the universe. However, they are cute together, and I've been expecting them to get together for a while. The two of them, even when Gabby was around, had a great relationship and always cared for each other. Plus, Matt jumped out of a firetruck to go help Sylvie when the ambulance flipped. He was willing to risk an injury just to make sure she was okay. And now that they are officially together in Chicago Fire, you can see that they really love and care for each other.

Q: What inspired you to start writing? A: I always seem to get this question whenever I do a q&a, but that's okay because I don't mind talking about it. I first got into stuff like this as a reader. Basically, I went on to Wattpad and Tumblr to read other people's stories. I had no intention of creating my own. And then, one day, I started imagining myself in some of the fandoms I was apart of, and I thought, "If I'm imagining myself in these fandoms, chances are others are too," and I began creating stories that followed the plots of movies and shows exactly, just adding Y/n in it. However, that got tiring after a while because I wasn't able to have much freedom because I was following a set script, and that's when I remembered I had a Tumblr account I never used. So, I revamped my account just a little bit and started posting story ideas I had that I couldn't post on Wattpad because either they didn't fit with the stories or they were for someone I didn't write for on Wattpad. And now, here we are. For anyone interested, I've posted this before but I'll post it again, my Wattpad handle is @Writer_Reader05.

Q: Jay or Will Halstead? A: I'm sorry, but I really can't choose between the two of them. I love them both so much. Will and Jay are two of my favorite characters in the whole One Chicago universe. While they do have some qualities that I'm not the fondest of, at the end of the day, I adore the both of them, and I could never choose between them.

Q: Who would you rather date: Jay or Will Halstead? A: Why do you guys do this to me? I love them both so much! But, if I have to choose, I'm gonna pick Jay. The only reason is because I like the characters in PD more than Med, so if I'm dating Jay, chances are I'm friends with Hailey and Adam and all of Intelligence. Will is just as awesome as Jay though and I feel like sometimes people sleep on that.

Q: Which of the requested fics you’ve written is your favorite? A: I think I'm gonna have to go with a Jay Halstead x reader I wrote titled Two Becomes Three. Something about the plot just makes me smile. And to think of Jay being a father......So yeah, while I have so many amazing requested fics thanks to you all, that one has to be one of my favorites.

Q: What’s your favorite series you’ve written so far? A: I love all of the series I have written. Something about creating a whole story that's more than just one part is always fun. If I have to pick one series, I'm gonna pick On the Loose. It was the first series I wrote on Tumblr and the plot of it is something I'm really proud of. However, From the Big Apple to the Windy City, Identity Loss, and Difference of Opinion are all amazing! The first two are finished series and the last one still has a few chapters left to go. Go check them out if you haven't already.

Q: What's your favorite imagine you've come up with and why? A: I don't have a lot of fics that are solely my ideas. Most of my stories have plots that were sent in by you all. However, if I had to pick a favorite out of my stories, it'd be Back Home for Christmas, a Halstead Sister fic I released when I was somewhat new to the platform. Something about writing sibling fics always makes me happy because I get to express the familial side to the characters.

Q: If you had to be roommates with 5 of your mutuals/fellow writers, who would you pick and why? A: I love all of my fellow writers/mutuals so much! I know how much work we put into whatever we post, and most of us are very active on this site. As for who I would pick to be my roommates, I'd choose @hereforhalstead @fighterkimburgess @halsteadlover @resanoona @sylviebrettsey because I feel like we'd all have great conversations, mainly over One Chicago. And every Wednesday night we'd all watch the episodes live together and experience them as a group and then freak out over what happened..........Now watch me fantasize about this all day.

Q: Do you listen to music when you write? A: It depends. On some days when I plan that I'm gonna write, then yes, I do put on some music. When there are days that I have a few minutes to spare, I don't put on music just because I'm only writing for a few minutes and I don't want to waste time. But mostly when I'm writing I do play music in the background.

Q: Do you know how your fics/stories end before you finish writing it? A: This is a really interesting question. The answer is no, I do not know how I'm gonna end a fic before I finish writing it. The only story I had a set ending for was my series On the Loose, but that one wasn't even fully planned out until I got a chapter or two in. Obviously, if I get a request that includes a set ending, like two characters get together or something like that, then I know what the ending will be. Otherwise, I have no clue.

Q: Have you ever met someone who had a very similar personality to your own? Did you get along? A: You know, I can't say that I have. Everyone is different in their own way, and that's what makes us all unique. I would imagine if I did meet someone with a similar personality we'd get along because we'd basically be a carbon copy of each other, but who knows. Maybe our similar personalities would cause us to clash.

Q: Do you hold yourself to higher standards than you hold others? A: Not really. I know myself more than anyone else so I know what my limits are and when I've reached them. With people, on the other hand, I always feel like they can be doing more with themselves and their lives. So I do not hold myself to higher standards than others.

Thank you to all of you who sent in questions! I never thought I'd reach 750 followers on this platform. The only reason I have is all thanks to you wonderful people out there!

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