#also is anon really trying to make me feel bad about the amount of fanfic I read

[llycaons]

I’ll make this my last message since I don’t want you having to spend all day on another 15-paragraph essay because that’s just sad. I’d just like to state a point that apparently didn’t come across in my original message—one I didn’t think I *had* to state—which is that fanfiction *isn’t* published fiction. It’s amateur, free content on the internet and shouldn’t be held to the same critical standards and practices as critiquing trad pub fiction. That’s why it’s bad etiquette to, say, put fic on Goodreads, for example. Again, didn’t think I’d have to say that to someone who obviously spends so much time (so, *so* much time) reading fanfic, but here we are!

And just a note: if it’s ableist to say the word “weird” to you specifically and insinuate you, specifically, should go outside—which I *know* you do, I literally used to follow you lmao—then I sincerely apologize. That being said, I *know* you go outside, so I fail to see how that’s a broader shot at the housebound when… you are not. And I know that. And it’s shitty that you’d turn around and banter with your mutual who’s calling me a cunt. That’s fair game somehow, but “weird” is too far? Ok lol. Guess your pearl-clutching over what’s problematic only goes one way. Good to know 👍 Will hard block then! Cheers

it's a good thing that this is their last message but since they're hard-blocking it feels like a waste to even answer this one. I don't even have any other arguments since I was so thorough and said everything I wanted and ig they have no actual rebuttals so I'm taking this win. 'don't want me to spend all day writing 15 paragraphs' yeah right, they just don't want their argument to be DEMOLISHED again lmao and I don't think it's sad, I like covering all my bases. man I smoked that one. and I didn't spend all day on it, it took like half an hour? I was at work all day man lmao. and now I'm being held responsible for things other ppl have said? I mean I stand with my mutuals, but I literally never said that stuff in the actual reply

like I never said fanfic was just like real books, I just said you need to be held responsible for what media you create? did anon even READ my carefully crafted responses? friends. I am bereft. they're asking like this was an obvious oversight on my part but it's just inane to act like not being published equates to freedom from all criticism, which is what I SAID. it's not formal criticism, it's just what I think. you remember thinking? I can't turn it off! and since when was my SINGLE page a goodreads account?

as soon as they pull out the term 'pearl-clutching'...man how did this cunt used to follow me. that's right. I didn't even call then a cunt earlier when kiera did (WHAT bantering??? I posted my response AFTER I got this message) but now I WILL. you gotta be careful about who you tell to go outside, anon. and calling ppl a cunt isn't ableist lmao and I think it's perfectly reasonable in this situation. also if they used to follow me wouldn't they know my views already? what did they think would happen??? and since WHEN was saying cunt problematic???

and furthermore I appreciate the apology bc the comment about my tagging WAS out of line but irrelevant. my bigger complaint was more that 'weird' was a really vague criticism of my behavior. like nothing in ANY of those messages was compelling arguments that I should feel bad about what I was doing they just kept leaning on the morality of the words 'weird' and 'strange'. also just because you used to follow doesn't me you know me as a person?? ugh I just have to call them a presumptuous cunt again I'm afraid.

however this is bar none THE stupidest person I've ever argued on anon with so I will be sorry to see them go. it was so easy to win their weak, unsubstantial, shame-and-normalcy-based but somehow unapologetically amoral arguments...well it looks like I've written another lengthy response but that's fine, I like to chat on my blog to my neighbors and friends and anon shan't shame me out of that one either. how are we all this morning.

[strawdool]

Let me tell you Straw, your Modern AU has given me an immense amount of inspiration. At one point I would have liked to write some fanfics around it but it wasn't really in my right to do so, so I didn't. I think I like this AU in particular because in order for Lamb and Narinder to even remotely make it work they have to fight through a ton of issues. I like seeing characters get completely broken by the consequences of their actions and then learn how to fight their own demons. It's also a bit of hit or miss on whether people like this relationship development, but I really like the kind of relationships in fiction where the characters have to really fight for it. It's all well and good to have a story where the characters fall in love instantly and after maybe one calamity or two, they set off in the sunset. But for me, I like the relationships more where you aren't sure where things are going. There's clear signs but the two characters really have to want that relationship to make it work and fight through a lot of problems. It can suck seeing the characters stumble but in the end to me, it's very rewarding that once they have (hopefully) solved said issues, they will probably have a stronger and healthier relationship than most. To me, any kind of foundation that has seen struggle and survived it will always be stronger than one that has never experienced conflict. In other words, a relationship that could survive its issues and find compromise and resolution I think is more likely to last in the end. This is not always the case but in fiction we can force happy endings right? That said though, I have to really wonder if your modern Narinder and Lamb will ever get their act together to actually forge a peaceful and successful life together. I don't know if you have a full story planned out or not but if Narinder has already screwed up to the point of a breakup then there may be no recovery from that. The path forward I see is him finally addressing his problems and trying to turn his life around. As the Lamb, hopefully they can find a life where they're not in threat of the outside world. Maybe the two could eventually reconcile and form a long lasting friendship even if it never fully repairs. I'm just always hoping that characters will learn from their mistakes even though often in real life some people never learn and will constantly do the same horrible things. If I had to say what the most appealing part of your au is, it's the hope aspect. It's the hope that someday Narinder will realize what a trash bucket he is and do something about it. It's the hope that the Lamb can realize their self worth. Maybe it'll end with Narinder, a fully cleaned up man with a plan, formally apologizing to the Lamb for everything he's done and after a cordial conversation he disappears, on to a new life. The Lamb doesn't really know what becomes of him but hopes that he will do some good with his life. Maybe somewhere in the back of their head they'll lament too that Narinder figured things out too late. I don't know, thinking out loud at this point. But hey, this is a very interesting AU and it has sparked far more ideas than just those. So have a good day and I very much look forward to more if you happen to do so.

me when anon goes into a full rant about my au i feel so happy that my au had make you have a lot of inspo <33333

anyway answering your question, Narinder and Lamb spiral after the breakup: lamb bc they were betrayed at their most vulnerable and Narinder trying to justify his bad action with "they deserved it" but deep down knowing he fucked up badly but he doesnt want to accept that and so he doubles down and he gets into a very bad place mentally.

but while Lamb finally opens up to their insecurities and their situations to goat and ratau after all. Narinder had already pushed everyone away; no family, no friends, nothing.

it takes a while until one day Narinder finally comes to the realization how badly he is and starts getting his life together. (i like to say that it all starts with cleaning his apartment lol)

he doesnt contact lamb for a whole year at this point he even got a job and is now reconnecting with his kids, until he remember Lamb and finally accepts that the way he treated them and all the blame the put on them wasnt right.

And so he tries to find them to talk things throught (goes to a point he kinda starts stalking them for a bit) and when he finally gets to them Goat is the one who interrupts him with punching him in the face. but mf doesnt give up which results in him getting his ass beaten many times.

For Lamb and Narinder to finally get on good terms it takes a while, if reconstructing their friendship already took them months, rekindle the romantic relationship its another can of worms that both try to take it slowly and not rush things. Narinder in that he becomes really nervous, afraid to hurt them again and Lamb tries to takes things step by step specially for trusting him again.

[scummy-writes]

Life chatting and updates

I keep beating myself up for not writing as frequently anymore. It's a tossup between this being seasonal depression, a really bad prolonged depression episode, or very bluntly burnout.

There isn't a price to pay for fandom. I don't have to actively 'give' in order to participate and enjoy my time here, however I still have a gut instinct that I 'need' to. If I don't manage at least a fic once a month, then I feel awful. I feel dried up and like I'm losing the grasp on a hobby I love. It's usually the main way I can get some emotions of some sort out.

I've talked about this an unbearable amount of times. It's repeating because I haven't found a good way to work through it yet. Cutting off anons randomly (usually opened for request periods) helps significantly. I no longer get belittled for not talking to others often, or for supposedly being well known (i am not, jesus fuck.) I don't have people upset I made their fave take it up the ass, or experience an emotion that was not 100% confirmed in canon.

This next part is difficult for me to word properly, I'm sorry with how poorly this may come off.

I've tried to detach how I view my blog, but its very off and on. To be frank, there are 5.4k people following me. While I am very thankful to everyone who sticks around this blog, I stopped talking about the follower count often (with a number count) with it because I used to get people very, very mad that I was not reblogging their stuff because they thought the follower count meant a lot more than it does. They would be mad I wasn't doing xyz thing that I was 'supposed' to do with that follower count. Suddenly, my writing was supposed to be more inclusive for everyone (body types, kink/fetish interests, similar), rather than something I was sharing with others. Suddenly I was supposed to have Good Opinions on characters I didn't care about. I was supposed to be 100% canon compliant and get characters 100% right or else how dare I write them!!

Over time its fucked with me a lot. I miss posting and not being scrutinized for these stupid reasons. I miss having anon on. I miss not having ti worry about how something may sound ooc to people. I miss having fun. Every time I go without posting for a long time, its the assholes in the back of my head mocking me for it. I've been struggling on trying to rewrite that, and it's a constant failure. I'm anxious over things I should never be anxious about - not in this way. And it's frustrating and stupid.

It's frustrating repeating the same issues, and people trying their best to help, and nothing sticking in my brain. It feels awful to disappoint people in *that* regard. Another post made every other month about how depressed I am and thinking I can't write again, people trying their best to offer encouragement, and then I kinda piddle it away. I'm sorry that I am like this.

It's been bothering me more lately due to streaming. I am having a lot of fun! It's a lot of work also. I'm also going to be writing reviews on games and other projects, and how fun is that? How cool is that?

But now my blog that people know me for, and that provided me a good space to feel a little better about myself in terms of what I am capable of, is slowly dying. I dont have time to write when I desperately want to. Its taking me longer to get fanfics out because I am so anxious over writing again. Its hard to open up a word document and Just Do It because i get scared of how disappointing it will be.

Outside of that, I feel guilty writing other posts on a writing blog. I'm wondering if I need to revamp this blog to be very bluntly an otome game blog that happens to have writing on it occasionally, rather than a 'writing blog' that rarely writes. I think maybe I need to make writing less of my personality, when I've never planned to do more with it past writing fanfics.

Sigh. Thanks for reading whatever this is.

Updates:

- I've stopped modding the letters-from-ikemen server and blog. I'm still on as a writer, but I'm taking a long break. From comms to requests, most of my writing has been for other people and clearly, I am struggling with that.

- I hit affiliate on twitch 🎉 I am cautiously excited. I want to play more otomes.

- My dog gets a spinal tap tomorrow. I am very nervous of where it'll lead (this is another step in a long path of trying to figure out exactly what is wrong with him)

- I'm probably going to try revamping this blog sometime soon. Im so frustrated feeling guilty over it, I need to try something.

- people on youtube are being nice to me! Its weird exploring a new way of having fun.

- i really, really, really miss gilbert and writing about him.

[multi-fandom-lunatic]

if tiktok gets banned in America, then I wonder if that will change the publishing industry 🤔 if the majority of people using booktok are white Amercans and that app goes...well, we have bookstagram I guess, but it's not as big or influential as booktok imo. I have mixed feelings about tiktok being banned as someone who doesn't use it (mainly worried for small businesses/people who work regular jobs trying to make more money via side hustles), but I'm not sure if something else will pop up in booktok's place, if this app is banned.

As someone who frequents YouTube shorts, I'm pretty sure that Booktube shorts would take over. It's plenty (though not as bad as Booktok) toxic, with all the same problems as Booktok but not as much influence.

I certainly don't want Tiktok banned in America (Australia's going through a whole social media age verification crisis) as you said above, anon. It's good for side hustles and for a little extra cash on the side, and even though I would be happy that Booktok would be gone, I still don't think it would be the right answer. I personally don't use Tiktok (though I have been on there to research Booktok) so it wouldn't effect me, but yeah, it really shouldn't be banned.

Unfortunately, now that Booktok has already been established, it's going to be damn near impossible to wipe out its legacy. I suspect that Booktube will be the replacement, and while it wouldn't as popular as Booktok, I do think a fair amount of Booktokkers would migrate from Tiktok to YouTube. And I certainly don't want YouTube to become more toxic than it already is.

As for the publishing industry, I don't think it'll change much. I mean, a fair bit of the tropey Booktok influence comes from fanfic on Wattpad, so as long as that thrives, I think that some form of Booktok will also. Additionally, the publishing industry already knows that going Booktok viral is a sure fire way to guarantee fame and fortune, and they won't go down without a fight (and even if they do, they'll find a way to pop back up).

I say all this as if it's reassuring, but it's not. Both are bad; Tiktok being bad and Booktok prevailing, and unfortunately, I don't think those are as mutually exclusive as we'd like to believe.

Thanks for the ask anon! I completely forgot to consider a Tiktok ban in my other rants, so this is a nice new perspective.

[getitoutofmymindwrites]

Actually the amount of fanfics I’ve read where the couple does get back after he cheated on the girl is soooo much. Where are these I’m hearing that they don’t get back together?! Someone please give recommendations!

I’ve been cheated on not once not twice not 3 times BUT 4 TIMES 😝. I finally learned my lesson and stoped going back cos I was just being stupid and then I realized that I should stop fighting for someone who was disrespecting me. 

As for Joel, I don’t see a redemption. I’m sorry it’s just ugh. He brought that girl to his HOUSE the HOME he had with his WIFE. Joel is a grown ass man. He knew what he was doing. There’s no excuse betray his wife. And there’s also no way he’s fully sincere begging for forgiveness cos he knew what he was doing with another woman. He put himself first and didn’t care about how hurt his wife would be. To be put in that position is humiliating and oh so painful. I remember asking myself why over and over. I thought my love with exes would be more than enough for the both of us but it was just that. My love for them was more than the love they had for me. Cos if someone loves you and has their heart set on your relationship, future, and soul, they don’t do that. I wish I knew that earlier. I did love them but it wasn’t fair that it was just me putting the effort to make everything better. Also it was annoying after finding out about the cheating cos that’s when the men put in the effort. Funny how that works. 

But yeh those images and memories stay with you forever. Even if you say you forgive and forget. It’s not physically possible. 

If anyone wants unsolicited advice, don’t let your past memories of love keep you in the relationship. The months or even years of your relationship didn’t mean Jack shit to him or else he would’ve be committed to only you. The bad will forever be outweighed by the good. What I mean is that you will look at the relationships past different cos you won’t stop connecting it to what he did. You will try to let it go and build new memories to get rid of what he did but nothing will change what he caused to happen. Back to what I said earlier, don’t let your past memories of love keep you in the relationship. Those good memories will never have a future where they won’t lead to what he did. Don’t use them as an excuse to hold on to what you had. He didn’t care. 

I really tried. I did everything. Therapy, couples counseling, speaking with my pastor, taking a small break and then getting back together. But it was never the same. I have so many regrets. One of them is that I wish that every time that happened to me, I had let go of the relationship whenever they did. 

Totally up to you how you continue. I don’t know if reading more would be healthy for me cos I usually don’t like to read cheating stuff but there was something special about yours. 

It feels good to let everything out. Sorry. Maybe I said a whole bunch of nothing. 

Dear anon,

I'm so sorry this happened to you, no one should ever have to go through that emotional abuse.

Please, don't apologize, I'm glad you reached out and felt better by speaking your mind and I'm also so thankful and humbled for giving this fic a chance despite the warnings and the memories that it probably brought up in you.

I have to admit that you make some very good points. I do believe that is very hard to let go of these memories, even if you forgive your partner; your mind will always go back to that moment, like a stain on a white shirt you can't ignore, no matter how hard you try.

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with me, I really appreciate it..

[thatlittledandere]

Shipper tag game

Tagged by @unfortunatelycake <3

1 . What ship were you completely obsessed with when you were a teenager, but now you don't care about anymore? I can't say I don't have any feelings at all left for anything I used to be CRAZY for... They come back whenever I see fanart lol

2. Which ship would you consider your first one? Maybe Ichigo and Aoyama from Tokyo Mew Mew I reaally hoped things would work out between them. After that came Harry Potter and my first non-endgame ship Harry and Cho :/ Bad taste I know

3. Your first fanfic was about which couple? First one written or read? I don't remember the first shipfic I read (first smut was Yutaka and that tall girl from Lucky Star), first one I wrote (or started at least) Yamcha and Tien from Dragon Ball/Z. Lost to time.

4. Do you remember the first couple you saw fanart of? Absolutely not lmao

5. Have you ever gotten into ship discourse? Not too actively. Sure I've reblogged some shit in my time and bitched in private and in tags but I don't think I've like.. made hateposts or sent mean anons or anyth-

....Have I...? Now I'm suddenly not sure anymore.......

6. Did you use to have any NOTP or have one currently? USED TO FOR SURE. SO MANY. I can't really be bothered anymore. I can dislike things and say "hmm. don't like that" to myself and then go on with my life and not think about it.

7. Who were the couple in the last fanfic you read? Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas (Homestuck)

8. Currently, do you have any OTPs? Not really 😩 I'm in an annoying transitional state where Souyo doesn't plague my every waking moment anymore but nothing has come to replace it. I'm trying to resist davekat taking that place lmaooooooo

9. Is there any couple that, to this day, you are extremely mad about not getting together? Not really...? I rarely ship anything canon plausible that doesn't become endgame. Maybe the Doctor and Rose but even then. The Doctor can't just settle down and they sorta did the closest equivalent in the form of Tentoo.

10. Is there any ship you used to dislike but now you think they are kind of interesting? Oh yeah one twitter doujin was enough to make me intrigued by Adayu. Adashu. Adasou. Shuada. Those bitches from Purse Owner 4

11. Do you have any ship that, in the past, would've been considered normal but now you would be cancelled over? It's the other way around really. My ships have always been really vanilla but I've become more open to spicier dynamics in the past couple of years.

Unless people are mad about Doctor/Rose age gap of approximately 900 years loool

12. What is your favorite crack ship? I don't really do those. I'm uncreative there needs to be something in canon to catch my interest. OR just. a HUMONGOUS amount of fanon. Like, by all accounts, Atsutodo (atsushi and Todomatsu from Osomatsu-san) would be a crackship, Atsushi appeared in one episode as a side character in one skit, but the fandom took to it so hard I'm not sure if it counts anymore. One of the more popular ships in the whole fandom is kindof a gray area... Then again DOES a crackship have to also be a rarepair..?

13. What is the couple you read the most fanfics about? Sigh. Been reading davekat and johndave lately. Been TRYING to read roxycallie but they're such a sideship....

14. What do most of your ships usually have in common? Friends to lovers, one of them is or is made out by fandom to be homophobic. For my het ships, a height gap seems to be a reccuring theme, although to a lesser extent than the uh homophobia.

15. What you absolutely hate in a ship? That's much harder to name than things I like... Anything CAN theoretically be sold to me in the right circumstances.

Boy I sure did avoid answering most of those questions!

@magiccatprincess @soullessserenity @livefreeordie13 k that's enough of me

[skinnytuna]

(i'm anon who replied to your long post about audience validation and art)

thank you for your response, it's very interesting. it's actually kinda funny because I used to be a person who never, ever shared anything I did with other people (online or in person). I wouldn't talk about the media I enjoyed or showed the drawings I made. it always felt too intimate - I was only doing it for myself and so having other people's eyes on it wouldn't add anything to my enjoyment apart from shame from not liking or creating the 'perfect' thing. if I imagined what I would do in the future, it was only from the perspective of what I would actually create, rather than the validation it would give me.

and then my world view flipped, I guess as I became increasingly exposed to online validation. I still dont share anything I make but if I (indulgently) daydream about creating something, it is rarely purely the process of creation that I think about. I cant separate the stuff I do and the response I would get like I could as a kid. this is probably partly because of watching numbers rise online. but maybe it could also just be the sad reality of transitioning into adulthood? when you are young the stuff you make is never going to get you shit. but when you are older, you are expected to view the world with a transactional slant: whatever you give, you must get back in return.

idk how into fandoms you are but I love them because they are a way to remove that dependence on transaction (both monetary and inter-personal validation) we have. obviously, fandoms mostly exist in an online world and so some people are going to be more successful at creating than others (and some people might even manage to make a tiny amount of money) but mostly they are pretty equal. most artists (fic writers/fan artists) are only creating for the sake of creation. they like something, want to improve it or want to explore a world and so they create. some fanfic writers will never get past 100 kudos on a single work, but they still write thousands and thousands of more words. this is because, for them, writing is a hobby and a way to have fun. they are literally unable to monetise it, and the possible size of a response is often limited by the tiny size of a niche fandom.

fan fiction is wholly and unapologetically amateur. it can be a great quality, but writers have the freedom to create imperfect things and learn as they go. there are no critics, book sales or best seller lists - you can just make shit and put it out there if you want.

idk if any of that made sense but yeah

it's funny you say that about adulthood because there are so many like. 13 year old rappers now who are solely in it for the money or dont understand why they are doing it and their parents are encouraging them to do it for the money so like. childhood for us was very different to what childhood currently is, right now this year.

but i personally cant remember a time when i wasn't desperate for validation like when i was playing guitar when i was 8 or 10 i still had that "i hope im good enough i want to be good enough without trying" feeling it's just the people i wanted to impress were like, authority figures. i wanted my guitar teacher to think i was cool. i wanted my moms friends to think i was funny. i'm still afraid of doing anything i haven't already learned how to do, writing is the first New thing i've attempted in maybe my entire adulthood.

it's kind of funny, when i was younger i didn't realize how bad i was at writing music and that's the only reason i stuck to it long enough to learn anything. i was like laughably bad at it in high school and no one really went out of there way to grab me by the shoulders and say "hey! you suck at this! stop!" though a bunch of people did tell me it kinda sucked. i mostly just thought they were wrong. they weren't. but now part of me doesn't believe i could ever be any good at something that isn't that. like when i write fiction i know on a cognitive level if it ends up being good it's not because i worked hard or earned it or anything it's just a complete fluke. and i don't even really believe people when they tell me it's good. even though obviously i'm only posting it so people will tell me it's good.

in a way i feel like i'm sort of shifting back to the way i was in high school... every piece of art i make im like "this is the best shit ever" and then i post it and if people tell me it sucks im like "lol. incorrect. your tastes are Unrefined" and then i keep making more whatever crap whatever. which honestly is the best way to live i think. i have some people in my life who really like, respect and admire that i make whatever the fuck i want without ever really considering whether or not i should. which is funny because i have a lot of people in my life who are like, Normal artists, who Think before they make something, and try to make Good Things and i envy them greatly because it really comes through in the work.

though obviously as an evil bastard communist i am a strong believer that "Bad" Art Is Radical and "Good" Art is Bourgeois Idealism and i find myself constantly torn between, the allure of timesinks and iteration and the mystique of hyperprolific stream of consciousness artists and i feel like i'm the worst of both worlds by not being fully one way or the other! but i guess not everyone can be Lil B and not everyone can be Frank Ocean and some of us need to sit in between those two extremes...

look at all this me talking about how i never stop and think about the art while i'm stopping and thinking about the art... i'm an Olympic level liar rn.

i've never read a fanfiction in my life (outside of like.. homestuck smut when i was fifteen. which i guess Technically Counts.) but as the form is widely derided i'm sure it has the most artistic merit of any thing. i think a lot about what a world would be like where money and art are completely unrelated. and all art exists completely separate from how much dollars it can make a corporation. would being popular even matter? would people still seek fame... complicated questions. Way if we pees form butts

[yandereshingeki]

Hmm I don’t know if I have anything interesting to say, I’m a very simple person that does very little, but I do love to read, especially fanfictions. Whenever I find a new book series or film series or anything I get super attached for months on end and try and squeeze every single fanfic I can get from it before I inevitably move on. Which brings me here to say I absolutely love love love your works. All of your writing I can say is perfection. Not to mention all of your drawings, it amazes me how so much talent is capable in one person. I kind of hate myself sometimes because you seem like such a cool and kind person, I’m a very silent reader I guess TT i barely interact with any content and it makes me feel bad because I would really love too but I get so scared. I see the normal posts you make and I want to comment or like. I did send a few anon asks in a while ago. About the pillow in the drawing you made with you and eren, (still super cute and amazing btw)

I was feeling brave that day lol

This looks like such a serious message because of all the full stops but it’s just a normal one TT i saw your reblog of wanting more people in your inbox so I’m just here to say hi and show my appreciation to you 🫶🏻

Sincerely a very scared anon ~~ 😗

I almost want to keep this ask to myself forever so I can hog it to myself and look at it whenever I’m sad but I wanna reply so here I am!

I can’t even begin to express how much it means to me that you like what I make. I honestly put my heart and soul into my creations so the fact that even one person cares so much really means the world to me.

I don’t mind that you’re a silent reader! I have to admit I am a lot of the time as well, sometimes it’s just easier to forget that silent readers are there and having a reminder like this is really nice. <3 You shouldn’t hate yourself for it, I understand how it is to be so scared of interacting lol (I am like that w almost everybody before I moot them, and even then im still nervous a lot of the time)

Also the fact that you think i’m cool makes me a bit weepy lol, I see myself as someone that’s so wimpy that any amount of pressure will make me fold DHEBJADB i promise you I don’t bite, I don’t even have teeth sharp enough to

idk theres so much I wanna say but it’s hard to put feelings into words!!

Very scared anon, I care for you so much thank you so much for this :( I really can’t reiterate it enough it means so much to me. I’m gonna screenshot this and print it out and frame it and look at it when I’m sad. I’ll give you the biggest hug and squeeze you so tight. Thank you so so much <33

[ohmygodshesinsane]

Hello,

Just wanted to say that I really enjoyed the first few sentences of your Masquerade fic for Jilytober fest. It’s “insane” the amount of talent you have, my dear friend 🥺

I want you to know that you are really talented writer and I thank you so much for letting me go into your world with your words because I really helps me separate myself from my personal issues.  Your writing is one of the most amazing that I have ever came across and I can’t thank you enough for sharing your work with us. And I hope you know that your writing will have a very special place in my heart.

 I hope to read more of your stories and hopefully to come and I am done so I can show you how amazing they are.  It’s quite impossible trying to choose which one of your stories is my favorite because there’s just so many that I enjoy, that I have bookmarked on my phone  so I can go back and reread it again.  And I hope you know that you are a very talented writer and know that no matter white people say you have a gift and I’m so happy that you share that with us.

I am so happy that I have found your Tumblr a few months ago and anytime. I see you on my dash and always makes me smile. Whether it’s fluffy angst,  or anything in between I always look forward to reading what you have. I’m always blown away with the world that you create and sometimes I just I’m not speechless even right now. I’m not exactly sure what to tell you because you’ve done so much.

 To others it might just be another story of micro fic, but for me, it’s so much more than that your writing is comfort to me. It makes my days better anytime I  read them. i’ve been going through depression for eight years,  and I decided to go back into reading and writing, and try reading the HP series/fanfics  and I was left amazed with how much you helped. I’m always so glad to see you on my dash any time I log on.  Do you amazes me with how many stories that you’ve written and are still writing because I know call life can be difficult  when it comes to writing. So I also wanted to say congratulations on all the stories that you’ve published, because that’s amazing.

 even on my most darkest days where I feel as the clouds are trying to take me. I go on A03,  and go on my subscriptions and find your name. Usually I click on the HP stories,  and from there I choose any story because I know it’s going to be amazing and you’ve put so much effort into your stories that they help me on my bad days. My favorite time when I read your stories is when  it’s cold out or raining,  it’s so relaxing, being with my favorite blanket and listening to the rain hitting my window,  and have background music playing. While, I get lost in your world that  you created,  I’m happy that it’s almost winter because I can enjoying reading your stories  while inside it was a nice cup  hot chocolate, while seeing a blanket of snow all around my yard. Basically what I’m saying is that I am so grateful to have you here with us. Even though I don’t know you personally, just know that I appreciate and admire, everything that you’ve done.

I wish you the absolute best at your writing, and please know that no matter what any troll/annoying anon says,  your writing matters, and most importantly you matter so much. I know from experience that people talk so much, whether it’s in front of your behind your back. However, just know that there’s twice as many people that love you and care about you. 

Thank you so much my dear friend, I truly hope you know that you will forever have a spot reserved in my heart, and nobody will be able to take that spot.

❤️

Please take this heart as a token of my friendship

🥹

I wish you the absolute best and I hope you have a great day, because your writing always makes mine 1000000% more better than it was before

💕

Anon, I really don’t have the words to say how appreciative I am of this message… This has made my day a thousand times better, and brightened my entire week. I am so thankful to YOU for reading my stories! You have made me tear up! My stories would never come about without your support - YOU are the reason I write! Your picture of a winter snow day… please enjoy it for me! It’s getting hotter every day and I am dreaming of a Hogwarts Christmas.

So, so, so much love to you. Endless love. I really am crying a bit!

[parcequecestnotreprojeeeet]

Hi, it’s me, Fanfic Anon #2. I saw the request for their goodbye Thursday morning (I guess we can’t complain because we’ve gotten a lot of beautiful content of them lately but I am salty about it *deep sigh*). This also includes my take on certain events (my heart is breaking for the two of them - this summit probably came at a really bad time, I’m sure all he wants to do this weekend is be home with his family). Anyways. Hope you all enjoy.

For the first time since he took this job in six years, he didn’t want to go. He didn’t want to leave her. Not right now. Not with everything that happened this week. (They had no way of knowing when they decided she was staying at home with their children this weekend all those weeks ago - giving her a much needed break - just how much she would need to wrap her arms around her babies and not let go. As sad as he is to be leaving, he is equally happy to know she will have them - and he got plenty of assurances from their daughter she was going to keep an eye on her mother for him.) Not when he already has had to spend so much time away from her this week while their family was hurting because of him, when she was hurting because of him. (No amount of her reassurance, of her promises, of her love was going to erase the guilt that had been eating away at him since they were first told about it, since they first got their nephew on the phone. She has told him so many times how frightened she was of something happening to someone she loves, he knows how much these protests have impacted her over the last 6 years and now - he still isn’t sure how he is ever going to look himself in the mirror again.)

He stared at her beautiful face in the soft light of the gently breaking day, trying to memorize her in this moment, at peace in her sleep to hold with him over the next 72 hours, and he was counting. 12 hours to Japan on Thursday, then all Friday and Saturday, straight home at the end of the day Sunday, which when you factor in the time he gains back on the way -

“Hey,” he heard her mumble sleepily, soft smile playing on her lips as she broke into his thoughts, “I can see those gears turning, chéri. What’s bothering you?”

“Nothing,” he tried to dismiss not wanting her to worry about him, only to relent under the knowing cock of her eyebrow. “I don’t want to leave you.”

She smiled kindly at that, the pain returning to her eyes as she moved across the mattress to gather him into her arms. “I know. I don’t want you to go either. But you have to go.”

“But you -“

“I’ll be fine. I’ll be with our children. They’re not you, but I’ll be fine. We did just spend an entire day wrapped up together, just the two of us and nothing and no one else at home, our real home, last weekend, anything more than that I’m going to get spoiled,” she tried to joke. Seeing he barely cracked a smile, she tried a different tactic, slipping one palm to his cheek gently she reassured, “I can manage 72 hours. You don’t need to worry about me, mon cœur. Just take care of you.”

“I do need to worry about you, Brigitte! You’re my number one priority! Always! I’m leaving you to deal with this mess that I’ve made!” He ground back through his clenched teeth, his buried anger coming out even as he tried to fight it, for her sake, not wanting to add any more weight or pain to the parting.

“You listen to me, Emmanuel. You did not do this. Do you understand me? This. Was. Not. You,” she emphasized every word. “And I don’t want to hear you say that ever again.”

“But -“

“No. No ‘but’s. Please stop torturing yourself. I can’t let you go if I know you’re going to sulk the entire time.”

“Not the entire time,” he blushed.

“75-80% of it then,” she laughed gently. “I love you,” she leaned in to kiss him gently.

“I love you so very, very much, Brigitte,” he replied when she pulled back.

“Now, I want to make the most out of the time we have before you have to leave. So stop moping and come here. I want to be able to feel you after you’re gone.”

“As my wife wishes,” he smiled broadly, happy to see his wife’s sunny countenance back, before pulling her back to him for a passionate kiss.

All too soon, still in bliss from earlier this morning, he found himself standing in front of their bathroom mirror, prolonging as much as possible his departure smiling at the image of his wife wearing nothing but a short, thin dressing gown she was holding tight around her body as she leaned against the doorframe, watching him get ready to depart.

“Aren’t you going to shave?” She asked, pushing off from the doorframe and approaching him, wrapping her arms around his hips and pressing a kiss to his shoulder.

“I would have to shave again before we land anyways,” he replied.

“Mhmm,” she hummed. “Just don’t nick yourself again during turbulence.”

“You cut yourself one time -“ he rolled his eyes.

“Well pardon me for wanting to keep my handsome husband’s face in tip-top shape!”

“I shall pardon you,” he laughed turning around, his perfume in hand. Smiling he leaned down to press a soft kiss to the pulse point on her neck, drawing a quiet moan, before pulling back and wetting the spot with his scent. “I am always with you,” he whispered in her ear as he pulled back to right himself.

“And I with you,” she smiled back at him, lifting her hand to rest over his heart.

“I’ll be back before you know it,” he promised.

“I’ll be waiting,” she replied with a watery smile as he pulled back to leave, pressing one last long, loving kiss to her lips before he knew he had to go.

“I love you,” he blew her a kiss from the doorway before reluctantly leaving her, and his heart, behind.

Hellooo fanfic Anon #2! ❤️

So adorable! They are adorable! Bless Emmanuel for not wanting to leave. I can imagine this happening quite often, especially when he has to go alone.

But them still find the time to be playful with each other hahaha 🥰

Thank you so much, fanfic Anon #2! ❤️❤️❤️

[marias-wonderland]

im really glad you liked my ask!!!! :D im a fellow fic writer (sometimes) and i had ideas for writing but honestly i just was too scared to put my thoughts into paper ૮(˶ㅠ︿ㅠ)ა i would also love to see your poems posted because i used to find peace in poetry back in the day even though i never put any effort into it, it was just me expressing myself (　◕‿◕✿) that cringe part really hit with me tho i had bad experiences with people making fun of things i like and i even considered them my friends ｡･(ू˃̣̣̣̣̣̣ ꞈ˂̣̣̣̣̣̣ ू) also try to think better of yourself, youre not that bad and have a unique set of skills and deserve way better stuff than you think you do (≧∇≦)/ i am sure you have found people and will find people who will love you for who you are and have been are and will cherish you so please be kind to yourself and treat yourself to nice things ＼(★^∀^★)／

(no I'm not giving free handjobs, I'm simply too excited about another mega super special awesome anon ask!!)

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

my reaction rn

cus 1 anon ask was already too much, for this one idk

at this point i will be communicating my thoughts through tumblr pictures. also the second one is me hopping all around the house cus i was giddy THANKS TO THIS AWESOME MESSAGE!!!!1ONE

Alright, back to using words!

Look, we all have been there. feeling as if everyone and their mother writes better stuff than we do. and to a degree is true. sure there are people, both professionals and amateur writers, who write "better" than we do (highly subjective stand if you ask me).

So what?

Just because there's a stephen king out there, chugging out books in a heartbeat, doesnt mean that i shouldnt be posting on the internet my fanfics or my poetry or my clay charms or my cat licking his balls.

We use art to express ourselves/have fun/ study our deepest parts of ourselves/ create porn with our characters because official writers are cowards (hirano i see you...)

As for your friends.. well, they werent the brightest ornament on the christmas tree!! theres no need to put down people with different interests than your own! simply accept the differences and move on or find new people. besides, whats this? the late 90's??

"did you hear about that neeerd?? he reads and writes instead of partying! ewwww"

I thought we moved on past this empty-brained teenage behavior...

share your poetry! and you really prompted me to share mine in here! idk how many people will like it (even 1 will be enough xD) but what the hell, I've seen worse stuff in here.

Just like I deserve nice stuff, you also deserve the same if not a greater amount of mega special awesome stuff sprinkled with sugar!!

too bad idk your account so i could spam you with hearts and memes!

Nevertheless, hope you are having an awesome day!!! keep being awesome and anon-ish!!

[caelumsnuff]

I really feel for anon (I’ll never understand fully as I’m white though). I remember recent-ishly an anon on a big Redacted blog wondered about tagging art that featured white listeners like the way people tag gendered listeners since they wondered if seeing white listeners could make POC listeners uncomfortable too. I remember that that anon didn’t say like ‘it should be mandatory to do this or you’re bad people!!’ I think they were just wondering. I personally thought the idea was unnecessary and a bit of overcorrecting but shrugged and moved on. But jsnsosjwjsksjs the amount of UTTER FURY across the board I saw that day from people I followed was immense. I saw two separate tumblr (one that makes art and one that writes fanfic) say they would leave the fandom if *other* people started tagging in that way.

I’ve seen people attempt to doxx Redacted like post the man’s real name and everything (TikTok is awful), make the man admit to being an SA survivor (again TikTok), etc and some thrown out tagging idea would send you out of the fandom? Like the idea is extra as hell to me, but the amount of people that raged seemed like an overreaction to an idea. I shouldn’t be ranting more than the anon actually affected by things like this. I am glad that Redacted stopped saying stuff like blushing like he sometimes did in the earliest days. I like that he seems to try and allow the listeners to be whatever race too cause I know some ASMRists that don’t. I might be applauding him for something basic though. I hope this space eventually becomes better for POC fans like just because things aren’t overtly uncomfortable doesn’t mean it can’t be doing better!

Okay i almost wish i had seen that whole "tagging white characters" things because i am so utterly intrigued by it. Those reactions definitely sound a little over the top to something like that, especially if they were coming from a well meaning white fandom goer (the person asking about it). The idea sounds a little silly to me as well, but i definitely don't think its ridiculous to ask about it.

And leaving the fandom over it? seriously?? With everything else that has happened in this fandom, tagging yt characters is too much.... I'm genuinely flabbergasted

I'm also happy redacted stopped doing the whole blushing thing in audios and whatnot, and same goes for other VAs too tbh, but that is indeed applauding something that should be pretty basic. Whoo! Bare minimum of including people with darker skin!

I hope so as well, thank you for the ask <3

[sofipitch]

I've thought a lot about how to try and phrase this post or even write it because I have talked about this a million different times and seems to have no impact I wonder if it even matters but incase anyone needed evidence of racism in the VC fandom, @sweetazathioprine and I started getting racist trolls the momment we started posting our fanfic The Long Way Home, and it has continued nonstop and I recently posted a fic featureing the AMC universe/timeline whatever you want to call it and it has simply escalated. And it's not just myself who has recieved this, since I know there are enough ppl that hate me or even my cowriter who are willing to say we deserve it but @vivienne1996 also began uploading fic for the AMC show and had to turn off both anon on her tumblr and comments on her fanfictions all together because of all the racist abuse she was reciving. On my fics I delete a lot of it because it contains slurs that would upset someone else who might look at the comments but I have screenshotted them and present them now as evidence that yes the VC fandom has massive racism issue

This isn't by far all of them, tumblr simply has a 10 image limit. I also chose ones featuring a slur since some people can only recognize bigotry when a slur is thrown around. I also get some kind of insult telling me they hope I die or that my writing is terrible. I don't pretend to think I am a good writer or that I'm the only person in this fandom recieving insults but the inceseant insults aren't on any of the fic I wrote before Jacob Anderson's casting announcement.

And again this isn't just me who is recieving this so take what I have gotten and imagine what the others arr getting.

This isn't isolated to just racism either, rampant transphobia has been present. I'm aware in the past fics or art depicting the characters are trans has recieved hate and @hedonisticgene has also been recieving insults based on added diversity to the VC characters. Really showing yall are only here for cis white characters.

My point in highlighting this isn't to make anyone feel bad for me but to showcase that this has been an ongoing problem and I got possibly the record for the most amount of troll comments to word count ratio on my AMC fic. And I worry for the countless number of new people joining, being happy and excited, and then getting these kinds of comments when they go to post fanfic. It's frankly just disgusting and this is what I meant when I first said ppl disliking the race change would lead to racism. And I feel like overall the VC fandom and especially those with a lot of following and big platforms to speak up and condemn this shit have simply remained silent, or been covertly supporting this shit by saying they are the ones being attacked.

I wish I had something more articulate to say but really I feel any kind of intelligent comment stifled by anger. I just feel massively disappointed and let down

[aceofshitposts]

hi I’m too nervous to ask this without anon on so here it goes: I was wondering if your fanfics you’ve posted have affected your ability to get a job or get into a college, etc? such as when they to background checks and see that romance stories are associated with you. I’d like to start posting some fics and possibly some more spicy ones, but I’m afraid that if I do it will mess up my chances at the career I’m pursuing. thoughts/knowledge?? I really appreciate this, thank you! 💓

Oh, dear sweet anon. I can tell you with a good amount of confidence that people who are not terminally online in fandom circles generally don't care. Most people don't even, for example, even know there were multiple Robins let alone this whole bat family thing.

But to answer your question, no it hasn't affected my ability to get a job or go to school because I've worked the same job for the past nine years and nine years ago I didn't have any fanfiction posted lol I did have some semi spicy cosplay photos on my FB page but I don't think my boss ever looked me up beyond our interview.

But here's a secret anon, you don't have to post under your real name. You don't have to be findable. That FB page I mentioned was always posted under an incorrect spelling of my name specifically so I couldn't be looked up unless I gave it to you and that wasn't because I was worried about potential fandom drama that was just a healthy amount of internet paranoia lol

Shipping jaytim has affected nothing except the occasional nasty internet comment which I'm more than well adjusted enough to handle. I know I'm not doing anything wrong and anyone who feels the need to comment nasty things to a stranger has their own problems and they're trying to enact control over something they feel is an easy target.

Overall the jaytim community has been one of the nicest communities I've been a part of so I really think the positives outweigh the negatives. But like, I'm sure you know but, there will always be someone who hates your stuff no matter what it is. I've gotten shit over batquinn, stony, sterek, peter/gwen etc there's always gonna be someone who lashes out.

Anyway. Honestly i don't know what kind of searching employers or schools might do nowadays, my info is over ten years out of date, but making yourself hard to find with a pseudonym is never a bad idea. But also remember most people aren't terminally online and probably won't even know the context if they're not already deeply entrenched in batman (or whatever) trivia lol

Also, tbh, if someone has a problem with you enjoying or writing romance genre I wouldn't want to work for them anyway. (I also wouldn't want to work for someone who goes snooping into my personal life that doesn't affect my work but. We sure do live in a society :T)

[ltleflrt]

AO3 tos anon here, thank you for all the explanation.

I actually sometimes wonder myself what’s my stakes in following a lot of spntwitter drama 🙈 I think in this particular case, I just wanted to know the truth. I understand you don’t have concrete proof but as I said I take your word because I know you from outside of the twitter echo chamber and trust you. I also wanted to figure out if AO3 is basically deleting fics just like that but your explanation makes sense as to why they’re doing it.

The fact that reporting trolls should chill, though, I fully agree with.

GAH, THE TUMBEASTS ATE MY FIRST ANSWER. I'm still gonna end up being long winded about this though cuz it gets me pretty heated. I try not to talk about it, but then someone asks me about it and oh lord here I go lol

I honestly don't care if there's a ringleader or just a well organized group. I just wish that the Reporting Trolls would consider printed fics the same as classic 'zines and get the fuck over it. Reporting printed fics can bring down the attention of the IP holders too, so they're not the Fandom Heroes they think they're being.

And when it comes down to it, I don't think they're really trying to protect fandom. If that was the case, there wouldn't be fanfics publicly posted on Lulu that have been sitting their for several years. They're targeting specific creators who have gone out of their way to keep the links hidden or private. So I think there's a kernel of truth to the idea that they're doing this out of jealousy. If it's That One Author that seems to be the ringleader, she may be upset that other people are getting more attention than she does. If it's her fans, they may be upset that their favorite author isn't getting as much attention as they think she deserves. It's even possible that they're not aware of what they're really doing, so they fall back on "BUt pRoFIT".

This whole thing about "but Lulu makes money!" will forever drive me nuts. Lulu would make the same amount of money selling paper and ink on a book that's just 700 pages of the word "Orange" typed on repeat as they would selling paper and ink on a book that's 700 pages of my story. The paper and ink is only worth paying for because of me, and I'm not making any money from the work I'm doing.

Look I can prove that, at least :D

Hell, I'm losing money on it. I pay fanartists to create covers for me. I'm bad at formatting the PDF, so I pay people to format it properly for me. I've spent hundreds of dollars to make these prints look nice and semi-professional. I give away copies for free to the artists and the people who help me with the formatting, and some of these are over $20 because of how thick they are.

Everyone is getting something out of this EXCEPT for me!

*huffs and puffs in irritation*

The AO3 stuff is, unfortunately, squidgy. Over the years I've heard of other things getting reported on AO3 where authors have complained that they weren't given enough opportunity to clean up whatever the violation was, or the AO3 staff wouldn't/couldn't tell them where the violation was hiding. If something is reported, it's going to come down to a judgement call from an AO3 employee. As someone who has had to make judgement calls on things that are grey areas, I can tell you it's tough. And sometimes it's best to err on the side of caution, which is usually not in the customer's favor. Without knowing exactly what was behind the AO3 staff's decision to delete, I can't say whether their decision is fair or not. It is scary though, because it's hard to tell whether an offhand comment will get you in trouble or not, and it puts us all on edge when we hear about something getting deleted.

Anyway, sorry I went on a vent session again. I'm glad you got some answers that at least made you feel better ;D

[levisgirll]

I love you and your blog so much🥺 I've read somewhere that it's canon that Levi's secretly ticklish and I was wondering if I could request a fic or whatever you prefer where his s/o finds out about this fact and uses it against him. Thank you so much, feel free to ignore this if you don't like it or if you don't want to. You're amazing I'm so glad I found your blog❤️ I hope you have an amazing day!

𝐓𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐥𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 (𝐋𝐞𝐯𝐢 𝐀𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫)

text: OMG hello sweet anon!! thank you so much for your message and request c: I honestly was never sure about levi being ticklish but thanks for letting me know and I would GLADLY write this request out for you! Also, it makes me happy that u found this blog and the fact u stayed and sent a request too is so nice of you <3 !! (this made my day 🥰) Have a great day Anon and I hope this request makes your day too 💕💖(also note I was afraid to mess it up as a fanfic, so I decided to make it like a fanfic but as bullet points, so I hope that's alright with you 🥺

synopsis: you noticed something off about levi, your boyfriend. anddd you might have discovered something accidentally about him! how does he react after you finding out and what do you both do? (this was really cute and super fluff to write honestly and you wont regret it-)

It was just another day at the headquarters of the Survey Corps, and you were with none other than Levi, your boyfriend! You had felt extremely lucky to be with Levi ever since the both of you started to date. Although, Levi kept saying it was him that was lucky that someone amazing, strong, badass and lovely like Y/N would even consider dating Levi.

Of course, you both take your work seriously, but the love you both had for each other were stronger. During the day you would glance towards each other, signaling you both needed the other.

Hanji was quite a close friend you made when you joined the survey corps. You and Levi were both strolling around the headquarters until you both spotted Hanji with Moblit and you ran towards them while Levi with his stolid expression was coming along.

“Hello Hanji and Moblit! How is your research going?” Y/N said while smiling at them, “Oh Hey guys!! Still in progress, but we are missing somethings..” Hanji said while suddenly looking down with a gloomily expression. “Let me help out then!” You always felt so bad whenever you saw Hanji not smiling, you wanted to try your best to help Hanji out. “Oh Y/N you are an angel!! Seriously, Thank you!!” Hanji would yell out and hugged you so tightly.

“Tch, Oi shitty glasses you better not give my partner some dangerous work or I will come and find you and make sure you regret it.” Levi said while crossing his arms around his chest. “Don't be mean Levi!” Hanji would say hiding behind you.

“Alright, Alright stop it you two. Levi, I will catch up with you later the afternoon okay?” You said and placed your hand on his chest, looking at his grey eyes. Levi gave out a soft sigh and ruffled your hair, “Sure love...I’ll be there.”

After some time trying to help out with Hanji and Moblit’s research, you finally were done and was heading back to see your great boyfriend.

As you entered his office, you saw him all stressed with the amount of paperwork he had. “Hey.” He said while still looking down at the paperwork and pushed his hair back, he looked extremely handsome whenever he did that.

“Love, take a short break? For me?” You said as you went behind his chair and placed your hands on his shoulder and started to give him a soft massage. He doesn't admit it, but he always love it whenever you do that for him. He felt all your warmth, love and affection when you gave him a massage.

“Mhm...alright.” He would say pushing his head back and relaxing. Levi would melt whenever his Y/N did this. He looked up and started to focus on your face. You could tell by the look of his eyes he was madly in love with you and every rub you gave him, he devoted you even more. “Fuck, I love you.” He said while letting out a pant.

You gave him a smirk, “I know love”, your hands went up and you started to rub his neck and you were about to move up to his chin but he jolted up so quickly, and he straighten his back. You were taken aback by his sudden act, and your eyes widen. “Um, L-Levi..?”

He didn't say anything and kept quiet, he picked up his pen and started to sign off the papers. He was...being dubious?

That is when...you accidentally found out he was in fact ticklish!

Y/N: Huh, Wait a minute...

Levi: Okay, I have to go somewhere by-

Levi got up and was about to leave but Y/N held on his wrist and he tensed up. Oh shit.

Y/N: You...You're!

Levi: Your Boyfriend, yes.

Y/N started to give a huge smile, and they looked up to Levi. “My Levi is ticklish!” They said all thrilled and snuggled his arm. He started to blush and look away, clearly he was really embarrassed. “T-This is your fault now!” But he lowkey always wondered just...how you always made him feel so good and giving him butterflies inside?!

“What is so bad about being ticklish Love? You know they say laughter can reduce stress and wash off any troubles...so come here!” You said giggling. This is the ONLY chance you hear your man’s soft laugh and all clumsily. It was fucking cute that you felt your heart to be melted in any second.

“Y-Y/N!! Don’t!” Levi got up so quickly from his chair, and was trying to hold his laughter as you tried to go to his neck and underarms, trying to tickle him.

You pushed it further and wanted to tease him. “Wow, who would have known humanity’s strongest solider is afraid of being...tickled?”.

“H-Huh? No I'm not.... Y/N, come here." But your man tricks you and starts tickling you instead!! He picked you up, while sitting down on his chair and letting you sit on his lap.

“Now, I think you need some back, Hm? Come on, not gonna let you go till I find your weak spot” He said snuggling up to you. Did not take him long but, it was your underarms. “O-Okay L-Levi I give please!!” You said laughing out aloud.

This made your relationship with Levi stronger. “Tch, anything you do is really something huh?” he said with a low tone and gave you a...kiss on your cheek?! He even had a small smile that you picked up and this tickling really stimulated him to be more loving towards you. Or in reality, we could say Levi took this opportunity to show you some love because this poor guy really had trouble to do that and he could never figure out when was the 'time'. So, he would give you his rare session, which was his cuddling session and some soft kisses while you sat on his laps and hugging his waist.

He has a warm feeling in his chest after you tickled him, it was like all his responsibilities started to fade away and you left your man in this warm and fuzzy feeling. He wanted you more than ever now.

On the good side, he realized it reduced his stress. ‘wow, y/n is amazing how can they do that...’ (he is secretly thinking of another tickling love session-)

The whole night, laughter's could be heard from Captain Levi’s office which was filled with love. Speaking of love, you really ‘tickled his heart’ which astonishing gave him extreme amount of joy. Whoever passed that hallway were startled to know that there was someone who could make him laugh, and it was y/n, his significant other, that he actually really deeply loves and cares about.

ahh this melted my heart writing this out! I'm so glad I got this request and was able to write it :,) love u anon! I hope you enjoyed it and felt some fluff while reading it, and if you do pls leave a like or reblog ♥️