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reiderwriter · 1 year ago

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The Us That Could Have Been

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female BAU Reader

Requested: yes - role reversal of the player!Spencer fic I posted here!

W/C: 5.7k

Summary: They say if you want to get over one man, you have to get under another. Spencer isn't so sure why he dislikes the idea of you doing that quite so much.

Warnings: Mentions of Maeve, spoilers for S8, mentions of minor character deaths, smut, unprotected sex, creampie, angst.

A/N: I'm not going to apologise for this one... Have fun.

Find the rest of my masterlist here.

If you were a genius, you’d know that it took you three hours, twenty-three minutes, and six seconds to fall in love with Spencer Reid. If you were a genius, you’d also know that it took him five years, seven months, twenty-seven days, and two hours to the second for him to break your heart. The thing you were learning about geniuses though, is that they were the most oblivious people on the planet.

Her name was Maeve, he had told all of you. And he needed your help to save her because he was in love with her. And of course, you went along with it, you tried your best even while your heart was cracked in two because at this point, you couldn’t stand the desperation on his face. The day he told you about her, only days before he died, you cried in the arms of Penelope Garcia for hours, letting her console you as you felt your world get flipped upside down.

“I don’t know why I’m feeling like this, god, Penelope. Five years, and I knew, I knew that if he liked me like that something would have happened already, but I just…” She rubbed your back as you laid your head on her shoulder, letting your tears fall freely as the sobs wracked through your body.

“I’ve been in love with him for five years and he never even noticed, and… Penelope he hasn’t seen this girl before and he’s desperate for her. What about me is so unlovable?” Your voice cracked as you broke down again, burying your head in your friend's arms as you let all the emotions hit you at once.

“Y/N you listen to me right now. You are not unlovable, you have never been unlovable. If Spencer cannot see what is right in front of him, then he is an idiot. You are the most amazing thing that has happened to him, you’re a great friend, you’re smart, you’re beautiful-”

“I’m not her. Penelope, I… I want to be her-” She held you as you emptied yourself for hours, crying until you were so physically exhausted that you just couldn’t anymore. You couldn’t say that you stopped crying per se, just that your body ran out of emotions to sustain you.

“Okay, Y/N, here’s what you’re going to do now,” Penelope said. She’d heard you out for long enough, but she wasn’t going to let you be miserable for long.

“You’re going to pick yourself up, take care of yourself. Get a haircut, dye your hair, whatever you need to do to get some change. And then you’re going to do your goddamn best to forget him, because if he’s too stupid to realize how special and amazing you are then he really doesn’t deserve you.” You sniffled a bit and nodded at her words.

“And then, you’re going to get back out there. Y/N, when was the last time you went on a date?”

“I don’t know it’s been… The last one I can remember was before I entered the BAU. I’ve just been so busy-”

“Bullshit. You’re going to put yourself back out there and find a man, or multiple men, who actually value you and want you. A wise scholar once said the best way to get over a man is to get under another.”

–X–

A year later and you’d probably taken Penelope’s words to heart a little bit too much. Maeve had died at the hands of her stalker not even a day later, and you felt terrible for Spencer, but he’d pushed you away, he’d pushed everyone away, so you’d decided she was right.

Your first date had been a few weeks later, and you’d have liked the fact that you’d taken him back to your place and then immediately kicked him out and never seen him again after that to stay a secret. But the BAU copycat didn’t let any of your business stay within the team for long. He had pictures of you with the first guy, the guy from a week later, and the guy after him as well. By the time you’d figured out who the copycat murderer who’d sent you all Zugzwang-themed threats was, he’d got pictures of you locking lips with five separate one-night stands.

The team had said nothing about it, of course, except Hotch’s private aside asking if any of the men in the pictures needed informing about the situation. You’d had to admit to them that you’d not seen any of them since, and, with no reaction from Spencer, you’d felt almost vindicated in taking this step.

If he didn’t care then, in those tense months where you were all leaning on each other for support, reeling from the death of Erin Strauss and the attacks on the team, closer than you’d really ever been before, then he wouldn’t ever care.

The thought was freeing. So you’d kept up with your constant stream of men, not letting them get close enough to hurt you in the way that Spencer had, using them and discarding them like broken toys, ignoring that maybe it was you that was the broken one.

It took a year for him to notice it. A year of you coming in with suspicious bruises on your neck that you laughed off, a year of your newfound confidence, a year of your conscious distance for him to notice that he missed you. It was slow at first. In those first few months, he just accepted that of course, you’d been seeing people. He’d assumed from the photographs everyone had seen that you’d been dating the entire time he’d known you, the feeling unsettling him a little, but he thought that was only because he’d never noticed.

Now it was all he could notice. The way you’d walk in sometimes smelling unfamiliar, having showered at a hookup's place before taking off, the way you were suddenly open to the flirting by the local PDs on your cases. The way a sadness seeped into his chest every time he saw you with someone else. Envy wasn’t a feeling he was familiar with, so it took him stupidly long to name the emotion.

You were back at O’Keefe’s after a local case successfully closed, and if you were drinking a lot, no one mentioned it. No one except Spencer, who’d made it his objective to keep you safe and by his side the entire night, for reasons he couldn’t even name. It was stifling, having him constantly hovering over you.

“Spencer, lighten up a bit, have a drink.” You smiled up at him, trying to get him to loosen up so you could escape the way his sudden care was making you feel. The bartender was eyeing you up from his place behind the bar, and while you were usually careful not to get involved with men whom you’d likely run across again, you were throwing caution to the wind that day.

“I’ll have a drink if you drink some water and slow down a bit, Y/N.” He handed you the glass he’d retrieved earlier and you sipped it slowly, squirming under the care in his gaze. He ordered a drink, and you eyed up the bartender as he did so, pushing Spencer’s hand off your hip as he approached, offering him a smile. He looked between you and the unfamiliar man, and felt a cold flash in his veins, waiting for his drink and then pulling you away back to the table with the rest of your friends, tangling your hand with his.

You pulled out of his grip but followed him dutifully. He guided you into your seat quickly, brushing your hair out of your eyes before falling back into conversation with the rest of the team. You hated the way he could still make your heart stutter, still have you feeling hot all over from a single touch, and you felt trapped in the booth, screaming for a way out.

Your chance came an hour later, when he excused himself to the bathroom, and you excused yourself as well, running back up to the bar. When he came back, you were gone.

“Where is Y/N?” He asked with a scowl, cursing himself for letting his eyes off you for even a second when you’d drank so much that night, having come back to suggest you turn in for the night, getting ready to offer you a ride home.

“Y/N? By now, she’s either in the back room with the bartender or she’s convinced him to get off early and head back to hers,” Morgan chuckled, taking a swig of his drink. “Took her only two minutes of conversation to have him inviting her out the back entrance, she’s been gone for like five minutes now.

The constricted feeling settled in his chest again, as his scowl deepened. Not knowing why he was feeling so goddamn destroyed by that statement, he let his head hang and left the bar himself, taking himself outside to get in his car and go home. Unbeknownst to him, you watched him leave from the alley behind the bar, the bartender placing open-mouthed kisses on your exposed neck as you buried your worryingly consistent feelings in the scent of bourbon and lust.

The next week is rough for both of you. You laugh and play along with Morgan’s jokes about your game, keeping an eye out for him the entire time and ending all the conversations as you feel him enter the room or step closer. It doesn’t stop him from hearing it all, though, all the details about your sex life tormenting him, as he boils with anger at how wreckless you’re being with your constant stream of guys.

“Mama, you were on fire last week. Took you only two minutes to disappear with that guy, you’re going to have to let me in on your secrets,” Morgan laughed from his perch on your desk.

“Sorry, a magician never reveals her secrets, and what I do is definitely magic.” Your tone was suggestive and set the man off in a booming laugh, but with your back to the door, you hadn’t heard Spencer’s entrance.

“The secret is that men are more accepting of casual hook-ups with strangers than women,” he snapped at you both, beginning to ramble as you both looked up at him in shock.

“Okay, kid, I was just joking-”

“When surveyed over 75% of men said they would be willing to have sex with a complete stranger, vs. 0% of women, and while that’s just one study, there are multiple others that I could quote that have similar results.”

“Spencer,” you chastised him, but he didn’t stop.

“What? Did you want to know when posing the question of an affair to people in a relationship that 18% of men reacted positively to having casual sex with a stranger, and surprisingly 4% of women also reacted in the affirmative? Did you ask that guy if he had a girlfriend before you fell into his bed, Y/N?”

“Okay, that’s enough, Spencer, take a walk. I don’t know what’s up with you today, but that was out of line. Hotch is looking for you in his office.” The words came from Morgan, but he kept his eyes locked with yours as he was scolded, memorizing the look of pain in your eyes as he finally backed away.

He didn’t know why he did it. He knew it would hurt you, and yet he continued anyway, even after you’d begged him to stop. He was hurt, and he didn’t know why, and he didn’t think he had any reason to be hurt, and somehow it was all because you’d been in the back of his mind constantly for as long as he could remember.

–X–

“Okay, girl’s night, my place, tomorrow night. There are no cases, and I managed to get Hotch to agree to let us put our phones on silent for the night, so it’s just me, you, JJ, and Blake, a bottle of wine and some good old-fashioned girl talk, what do you say?” Penelope asked you gleefully in the break room one day as you both prepared your drinks for a busy day of paperwork ahead.

“I’m sorry, Pen, I have plans already.” You grinned up at her as she pouted, promising to make it up to her another time. You didn’t offer an explanation though, just excusing yourself back to your desk and letting her know that you’d make it up to her another time.

Reid took your place as soon as you vacated it. Almost obsessively, he’d been following you around like a lost puppy since he’d exploded on you the other day.

“I know you said girls’ night but… Could... Could I come? I think I need some uh, girl talk?” He asked Penelope, an awkward, embarrassed look on his face as he smiled tensely. If anyone knew what was wrong with him, recently, it would be them.

Last year, he’d have said it was you, but the distance he’d felt recently, combined with the fact that he was almost 90% sure you were the root of his problems had him desperate for other opinions.

“Oh. Are you sure, Spencer, we’ll be talking about all kinds of gross women stuff?”

“I was raised by a single mother. I’m sure nothing you say could gross me out. Please?” She nodded her approval telling him what time to get there and to bring his beverage of choice, knowing he didn’t really drink wine all that much if he could help it.

He turned up twenty minutes late, after spending a great deal of time pacing outside of Penelope’s apartment building wondering if he had any right to unburden himself on them like this. Pacing he wondered whether you’d actually showed up despite your mysterious plans and whether this had been all for naught anyway.

When he eventually knocked on the door, Penelope opened it and greeted him with a warm hug. “We were wondering when you were going to knock on the door, one more minute and we were going to come out to get you.”

JJ stood up to hug him, wine glass in her hand, and Blake offered him a wave from her perch on the couch. He took off his scarf and coat and accepted the glass of water Penelope offered him, settling into a chair opposite the three women.

“Penelope said you wanted advice about something?” Blake was the first to enquire, the three of them getting straight into it, not letting him chicken out of it.

“Yeah, I think so. Lately, I’ve been having these, I don’t know, weird feelings…”

“Oh god, I thought I was a few years out from having the talk with someone,” JJ joked, but Penelope shushed her quickly after a quick snicker, letting him continue.

“I’ve been… I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but I’ve been acting really weird around Y/N, and I can’t figure out why.” He finally pushed the words out, feeling a weight off his chest at the confession.

“You can’t?” The room was silent for a minute as they looked at each other, and he looked at them looking at each other, wondering what it was exactly that he’d missed.

“Yeah? I don’t know, every time I see her I just want to, I don’t know, have her attention on me, even if I have to say something a little mean to get it. And in the bar that time, I was so, I don’t know hurt, I guess, when she disappeared without saying goodbye.”

They just listened to him go on, not stopping to interrupt him, so he continued.

“And there’s been this weird distance between us lately, and I guess it’s been there for a while, but I miss her, but she’s still there. I can still talk to her, and I can still spend time with her but I miss her all the time.”

“Spencer,” Blake said with a soft voice. “Since when have you been feeling like this?”

“I don’t know, I guess it started after everything happened with Strauss and the copycat in New York. But she’s always been… I don’t know, closer than most people? But every time I think we’re getting back to normal recently, she pulls away again and there’s this… void where she should be.”

JJ put her drink down and leaned a little closer to him, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“Spencer, I think you might be in love with her.” He considered the words for a moment, before getting ready to dismiss them.

“No, love is a good emotion, this doesn’t feel good, it feels… ugly.” Blake stared at him sympathetically, calmly talking him around.

“Spencer, think about it. You’re protective over her, you don’t like seeing her with other people, this all started right around the time the copycat sent those pictures of her with other people. It is love, and it’s jealousy, too.”

The words hit him like a tonne of bricks as he suddenly felt the full force of his words. He was in love with you.

“Oh god, what do I do?” He held his head in his hands, and Penelope scoffed a little from her seat, the rest of them turning to look at him.

“I’m sorry, you’re going to have to figure this one out on your own genius.” She said with a slightly sharp tone, and even the girls sent her questioning stares as she continued.

“You don’t just get to decide that you want her after all this time, not after how you’ve been treating her these last few months.” She turns her head away a little bit and sips her drink, her tough-love approach leaving him slightly defeated.

“Penelope, do you know something?” Blake asks firmly, trying to coax some answers out of her.

“If I did, I’d be under a strict oath not to tell anyone. And I wouldn’t want to considering how much pain she was in when she made me swear never to tell anyone.” It was clear from the tone of her voice that she really wanted to say something though, the words desperate to spill out.

“Penelope, your loyalty is commendable, but don’t you think what you have to say could help both of them?” JJ quietly coaxed out of her, and she finally gave in.

“Okay, but if you hurt her, Spencer Reid, I will never forgive you ever again.” He nodded quickly, hanging onto her every word.

“Think about what else happened a year ago.” She encouraged him, and for a moment, he was coming up blank.

“A year ago? We were in the middle of the copycat case. Strauss had just been killed. We were close to being pulled off the case-”

“You got a girlfriend, Spencer. You came in one day out of the blue and just announced that you were in love with someone you hadn’t met, and you didn’t realize that you were torturing her.” Penelope tried really hard not to snap at him, but his ignorance of your feelings was frustrating, to say the least.

“What Penelope is trying to say, Spencer, is that we think Y/N was in love with you, too,” JJ added, softening the blow. “And finding out you didn’t feel the same way so suddenly was, well it was a shock to all of us really.”

“What Penelope is trying to say is that she spent six hours with me crying into this couch, and then picked herself up and helped you try to save the woman you had chosen over her. So yeah, she’s been a bit distant, but can you really blame her?”

“She… She was in love with me?” His heart stopped for a second, dropping to the pit of his stomach as he thought back to those days, how you’d acted around him, the smiles that hadn’t reached your eyes, the reassurances that he’d brushed off, so desperate to help Maeve.

“Honestly, until you told us about Maeve, I thought you two had something going on,” Blake added.

“We used to have an office bet when Emily was around about which of the two of you would confess first,” JJ admitted shyly.

“Oh, god.” He let his head hang a little in shame. “Do you… do you think she still feels the same?”

They shared another glance at each other again, and he panicked trying desperately to decode whatever it was that had just passed between them.

“Look, we shouldn’t profile each other but… It’s not a coincidence that all of her hookups tend to happen after you pay her some attention.” Blake observed, letting Reid fill in the blanks of her statement.

“That might be my fault actually, I told her the best way to get over you is to get under someone else.”

“I don’t want her under someone else,” he stated then, cutting himself off before he could say anything else too damning.

“She’s not here tonight, why isn’t she here?” He panicked looking frantically around the room for answers, but none of them knew really.

“She said she had plans, but she didn’t tell me what they are.”

“Do you think she’s… do you think she’s with…” He couldn’t finish the thought, instead bolting upright and gathering his things.

“I need to go.” He let out, as the women cheered behind him, finally happy that he was taking action. Penelope shouted your address at him as he left as if he didn’t already have it memorized, running out in the rain, his feet carrying him to your apartment.

He saw the light on when he approached, thankful that you were still there, and bounded up the stairs to your floor, not giving himself time to second guess this before he pounded on your door.

You pulled the door open, a confused look on your face as you greeted him, his chest heaving, water dripping down his face. He looked like a mess.

“Are you alone?” He gasped out, having to pause between each word to catch his breath.

“Spencer, what are you doing-” The breath left your body as he leaned into you, catching you around the hips and walking you back into your apartment, your back hitting the wall behind you as he rested his forehead against your own, chest still desperately drawing in oxygen.

“Please, please tell me right now if there’s someone here with you. If there is, I’ll leave, if there isn’t…” His gaze fell to your lips and your entire body lit up, the haze of your confusion finally lifting as you took in each of his words. His lips moved forward, seconds from connecting with your own when his question was finally answered.

“Y/N? Who is it?” The voice was male, and it was coming from your living room, but it was all Spencer needed to know as he detangled himself from you, pushing his wet hair out of his face and putting some distance between you two, muttering apologies as he backed out of the door again.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t… I’m sorry,” he said, quickly turning away from you and leaving your apartment quickly.

“Spencer, wait-” You tried to yell after him, but it was too late. He had disappeared into the night, as quickly as he came.

You returned to the living room, cursing yourself for not answering quickly enough as you crawled back into the seat you’d just left.

“What was all that?” Your brother asked from his perch, shoveling popcorn into his mouth in a way that had you somehow even more pissed at him for the simple fact of his existence.

“That was Spencer. He… God, I think he thinks I’m in here with a guy.”

–X–

The next few days at work were tense, as you desperately tried everything to catch his eye. But you weren’t sure why you were putting in so much effort. He was the one who had burst into your apartment and practically begged you for your attention, why were you now the one chasing him?

Needless to say, you took your frustrations straight to Penelope Monday morning.

“And then he left without letting me explain that it was my brother, and he hasn’t talked to me once this morning, he keeps running away from me and I don’t even know what the fuck it was he was trying to gain from all that and- ughh he is so dense.”

Penelope had sensed the oncoming disaster the moment she’d seen your social media post about your brother’s visit Saturday morning, and you only confirmed all her fears as you unloaded onto her. She silently cursed Spencer as well, and once she’d given you some reassurance and reminded you that you had some case files on your desk that were urgent and distracting enough to calm you down, she practically lept from her seat to hunt Reid down.

“Spencer Reid, you get your ass in my office right this second,” she whisper screamed at him in the breakroom, his sunken eyes showing that his jump to conclusions had left him in a poor emotional state. He jolted at her words, as she watched to see if you noticed the two of them before practically frog-marching him off down the hall.

“What the hell happened? We sent you off to confess your feelings, and you what? Pin her to the wall and breathe down her neck before running off with your tail between your legs?”

He looked down guiltily before replying. “She had a guy there, Penelope, I didn’t want to… I didn’t want to get rejected like that.”

“She did not have a guy there, Spencer, she had her brother there.” She pulled up your post on her phone and thrust it in his face as she watched his eyes go wide at his own stupidity, clutching the phone as he read your words.

“And if you weren’t a coward, you’d have stayed and told her even if she did actually have someone over.”

He’d since tuned out her words though, the crushing weight of his almost-confession that had been stuck to him since the weekend dissipating slowly.

“This is her brother?” He looked up at you again, desperate to confirm the words she’d already said.

“Yes. You’d know that if you weren’t such a technophobic freak. I love you but this is the 21st Century and you’re an idiot.”

“Yeah, I am.” He handed her the phone back and slunk out of the office, and back to his desk. He had a chance to try again, and he wasn’t going to fuck it up this time.

–X–

You didn’t know how you knew that night, but when you heard the knock at your door, you knew it was him.

You hesitated before reaching for the door handle, pulling it open, and confirming your suspicions.

“Hi.” You said, and he returned the greeting with a mumble of his own before the two of you fell into silence again. He opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something else, but couldn’t, instead letting his gaze fall to your lips. You heard the hidden question in his look and opened the door a little wider.

It took only a moment for him to come crashing into you, hands holding your face as his lips met yours in a passionate embrace, drinking you in as again walked you back into your apartment, not even breaking away as he closed the door behind you.

You wrapped your arms up and around his neck, as you let his hands fall to your hips, your chest, your ass, exploring every part of your body he could reach as you stood caught up in each other. In your desperation for each other, you hit walls, and bumped into tables, finally stopping at your kitchen island as he lifted you up, wrapping your legs around his waist as he started pressing kisses down the hollow of your neck.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered between kisses. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know it was your brother and I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner, and I’m sorry I’ve been so weird recently.” You pulled his face back up to your own claiming his lips in yours once again, swallowing each of his other apologies.

He pulled away again, looking at you tenderly as he lifted you into his arms and gently carried you into your room, laying you down on your bed.

“I love you,” he whispered, and the words broke you. You’d spent five years practically begging him to say them, and another year since trying to bury even the very idea of him feeling the same way deep inside you. Tears fell from your eyes and he kissed each one of them away, muttering confessions into your skin.

“I love you, please don’t cry.”

“I love you, you’re so beautiful.”

“I love you and I’m so so sorry.” You pushed him away again slightly, regaining enough of your composure to finally talk again.

“I need to know that you’re serious, Spencer. I can’t… I can’t do this if you’re not totally sure, because it will destroy me.” Your voice broke as the words stumbled over the knot in your throat, your hands balled into his shirt, legs still wrapped around him.

“I’m serious. I don’t want to hurt you ever again.” He pressed his lips back into yours again, and you let the kiss deepen, lips slanting over each other in desperation as the need to be joined overtook your body.

He lifted your skirt, trailing a hand between the two of you as he checked your arousal. You could feel his cock pressing into your thigh, desperate to be freed from it’s restraints. He began kissing his way down your naval, but you pulled him back up.

“No, I need you now. There will be time for that later, but if you don’t do this now I think I’ll drive myself mad with wanting.” His lips reconnected with yours again as you began divesting yourselves of clothing, and within another two minutes, he was pressing into you, muttering more adoring serenades into your skin as he began catching the tears escaping your eyes again.

“Yes, Spencer, more please,” you moaned underneath him, legs tight around him as he began thrusting into you with a ferocity you hadn’t felt from him before. It was tender, but you were both desperate, after months of separation, to come back into one another.

Your lips and teeth clashed together as you let the room echo with your moans, his moans, and the sound of your skin slapping against each other. His forehead came to rest against your own as he grew closer to his release, lips disconnecting as you just stared into each other's eyes in that moment, seeing each other truly for the very first time.

“Y/N, I’m gonna… I’m gonna cum.” He pressed down into you harder, looking down to the place where you were joined and letting out a whispered curse as he watched you take every inch of him. His hips stuttered then, and you felt your own climax reach you as you felt him release into you, his lips softly tracing your own as you breathed each other in again.

He pulled out and immediately went to work making sure you were comfortable, propping you up on the bed, making sure the pillows behind you were plump and soft, and running off to find something to clean yourself up with. You watched him silently, again brushing some of the tears from your eyes.

“How do you feel?” He said shyly as he returned, having pulled his pants back on at least as he bought you a glass of water. You offered him a small smile and a thank you as you replied.

“I think… I think we need to talk, Spencer.” You said, not meeting his eyes as he looked down at you attentively.

“Why did you come tonight, Spencer?” You asked, voice so quiet you resisted the urge to repeat the question, knowing that he heard you perfectly clearly,

“I needed to tell you how I feel. It’s been staring me in the face for six years, and I somehow didn’t know, but once I did I just… I needed you to know.” You nodded at his words, standing still in front of you on the bed as you swung your legs off and asked him to pass you your nightdress back. You pulled it on over your head as you asked him your next question.

“Why did you run away the other day?”

“I didn’t know it was your brother, Y/N, I should’ve-”

“It shouldn’t have mattered who it was. If you love me, you should fight for me, right? The way you fought for Maeve.” Your tears start falling again as you open the wound that brought you this far.

“Y/N, that was… That was different-” You can hear the panic in his voice as he tries to come up with the words to explain himself.

“Spencer, if.. If it’s different then I think you should leave. If you don’t love me the same way you loved her, then there’s no point starting something.”

“Y/N, please.”

“No, Spencer. I have spent six years of my life filled with nothing but love for you. I wake up and think about you, I go to bed and you’re still there in the back of my mind. My every action is informed by your presence and I am so, so tired. So if you do not feel the same way, you need to turn around and leave this apartment.”

The silence between you is thick, as you stare up at him through your tears, face stern as you push him away.

He gathers his things. Moves towards the door and doesn’t say anything, and just as you’re about to break down, to let the sob burst from your chest in an agonized wail, you hear your front door close behind him, and you’re left alone in the empty apartment, stuck in the purgatory of your love for him, unable to move an inch.

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bnnuy-wabbit · 11 months ago

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Man, I'm gonna be honest. I played the two partnered endings back to back to see the differences and I like the detective kuuno ending more than the one where we recruit kim! Its just much more fulfilling emotionally!!!!

Kim is overall very serious and composed about stuff and hes well respected by the other cops. When you get to keep your job and recruit him it DOES feel good!! Because it was smooth and really cool of him to defend you like that and you've gotten yourself a friend! a friend who truly trusts you and believes in you. Kim is the nicest and most patient man on planet earth.

But Cuno??? It's a different message. Cuno knows fuckall. Nobody there respects him and he doesnt have the measured responses and fancy words kim has, just pure utter PASSION. He almost cries of RAGE when people dont listen to him when you're trying to convince everybody about the Phasmid. Jean specifically is a cunt to Cuno and spaces out all the time and doesnt listen to anything he says ("you're hearing, but you're not listening"). Nobody believes him. Nobody takes him seriously. He's used to that, i bet.

During the islet section, Cuno is A LOT like Harry. having him around as your partner isnt like having kim at all. he doesnt help with cop stuff or adult stuff. rather, he says your lines for you. i just played the one with kim and CUNO SAYS WHAT YOU WOULD SAY IF YOU WERE WITH KIM. he has the same thought processes as You do. he asks questions just like you do. he acts a bit like you do. he makes comments you would sometimes. He literally says YOUR lines in his runs. and hes impulsive and a child, so he asks it willy nilly. you have to be the responsible one now, you need to hold him back if anything.

And then the way cuno literally BEGS the officers to let him join? to take him away from martinaise, to give him a better chance at life. Hell do anything, he promises to stop saying shit, he promises to behave. Just get him OUT of there. It feels like there are WAY more stakes, so the emotional payoff is MUCH higher

(If you like cuno of course. Which i do. theres a LOT to unpack regarding that boy.)

Like, seeing him EXCITEDLY skipping to the coupris kineema and opening the door to the other cops?? It feels good!!!! It feels really good! Like on top of everything you did, you also got to take this kid out of that shithole, to give him a chance.

You Must Understand.

Cuno mirrors Harry in MANY ways.

Nobody respects Harry, nobody respects cuno either. Harrys just some insane alcoholic, cunos just a delinquent kid. Neither are considered particularly trustworthy by the people who interact with them in daily life. HOWEVER. cuno has the spark and excitement harry lacks when harry lets him come along. he has hope. he wants to help, he wants to participate even if he doesn't quite know what he's doing. Why? Because if you got him in your party in the first place, it means he feels comfortable around you! For real, when you get that kid to respect YOU he REALLY starts trusting and looking up to you. He's ride or die. For hells sake he chooses HARRY over cunoesse! You don't belittle him and his interests like Cunoesse does! He gets to be unashamedly himself! Plus you're HIS pig. He already very much has a cop/detective fixation and during the entire time he's around harry he's absolutely PUMPED to be solving the crime with him and he's more than willing to help you out and give his two cents on the matter even if he doesn't really know anything about anything.

And so WHAT if he's just some kid? So what if he's POOR and doesn't have a camera to photograph the phasmid? He talks about harry a LOT more than kim does and with awe in his voice. He defends harry until the fucking end and he does NOT stop. He literally doesn't shut up. he just keeps fucking GOING. He blurts stuff out to defend you even if it's not helpful because he respects harry!!! truly respects him! he WANTS to help. he'll say stuff even if his words fail to convey properly what he means.

And then what?? You do the same for him. Well, youre giving me a chance right? Then take the kid along, he helped. He has nothing, his dad is a wasted dying drunkard (like me) and hes poor (like me). But he did good (i did too). He has potential (do do i). Hell behave (i'm trying to behave). Hell be a good detective (like me. he's just like me). PLEASE take him in (you're giving me a second chance, give him one too).

I Need you to understand. In my playthrough i got harry talking about how he feels like he had children at home when he's asked if he has a family. He feels like he has children, daughters. But alas. You're hit at the end of the game with Dora's 'i terminated our pregnancy because youre poor.' I get a feel that he WANTED to be a father. He wanted a family, but he was just So Fucking Mentally Ill about Everything it never came to be.

But honestly? He'd be an alright mentor figure. He clearly enjoys older kids, despite what he says about not being good with kids. He was a high school teacher! He's Clearly used to dealing with older kids and delinquents and he can talk to them like an equal, if he wants to, he can crack them too! He can be understanding.

And so what? Hell never have Dora's kids, but then he, harry (the drunken cunt) (the cunt everybody hates) (the fucking asshole), can be nice to this delinquent addict child a bunch of times (a foul mouthed jackass) (everybody Loathes that kid) (he doesnt know love) and then said kid starts following him like a lost puppy the moment harry needs company THE MOST. He accepts The Cuno. They have each other's back. They don't give up on each other. They want life to change for the better. Yknow???????

Cuno's ending hits muuuuch harder because of all that. Anyways. Yeah. rant over

#cuno #kuuno de ruyter #harry du bois #kim kitsuragi #disco elysium #i really really really like it when Father Figure in case you havent noticed. maybe its me projecting but???? its just how i feel about it #the ending i mean #i fucking LOVE CUNO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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pileofboneswrites · 4 months ago

Text

PRETTY BOY_headcanons.strangerthings

general eddie munson headcanons.

SUMMARY — some of my eddie headcanons :)

MASTERLIST | NEXT

eddie is adhd personified

will start 16 tasks then realize he didn't finish the first one so he will go back and then turn around and do the same thing until he's finished them all

will make himself something to eat or drink, and then go back to the livingroom/his room and get hungry/thirsty only to find thr drink or snack waiting for him because he forgot it the first time

puts things down and then 'loses' them constantly!! it's literally in front of your face pretty boy!!!

obsessed with music, and absolutely hates silence

he literally cannot function if there's silence

cleaning the kitchen? he's blasting metallica. in the shower? black sabbath on full volume and you better believe he's doing every (air) guitar solo, and singing along the whole time. getting ready for bed/falling alseep? his favourite dio album is turned down low enough it won't bother wayne, but it's playing until he either passes out and it clicks off, or he's putting on another album

isn't a music genre snob but in the same breath will tell you he'd rather die than listen to country music

despite his stance on country music, loves willy nelson and johnny cash (because who doesn't???)

loves animals and would kill if he caught someone abusing them

cries watching kitty/puppy videos, because they're so damn innocent and too good for humanity and this world

he physically cannot watch those ads about abused animals, will turn the tv off or leave the room (will still get misty eyed just thinking about the poor babies)

will steal animals he sees being mistreated, and will either beg wayne to let him keep them or rehome them to somewhere they'll be loved and properly cared for (he goes and visits them periodically too)

super flirty with people, especially if you're on the shyer side, or are an old lady

if he notices you're shy/insecure he'll lay it on thick (loves seeing people blush/get flustered)

loves old ladies, like grandma's, always tells them they don't look old enough to have children let alone grandchildren or gasp, great grandchildren

gets easily flustered when people flirt with him

he's a natural flirt, unless someone flirts first/or flirts back – then his brain short circuits and he's completely thrown off his game

very gentlemanly

holds open doors for everyone, doesn't matter if you're a man, woman, etc, also doesn't matter how far from the door you are, he will hold it if he sees you coming in his direction — respects wait staff, janitors, etc (always leaves a good tip because people suck, and wait staff deserve to be treated well and tipping is essential!!!)

is a good cook/terrible baker

loves to try new recipes, loves experimenting with his cooking, wayne taught him the basics and then eddie started cooking super all the time for them, making sure wayne was well fed

also can make delicious food out of things you would never expect!!

do not try the cookies/muffins/cupcakes/etc. just don't he doesn't realize that baking soda and baking powder are different things!!!! he will make you the saltiest baked goods you've ever tried!!!

looks like a black cat is infact a golden retriever

he is a silly, goofy, happy boy!! he likes meeting new people, making new friends, (also thinks hes a lap dog)

has zero spatial awareness

he flings his hands/arms around like there's no one else on the planet often results in accidentally hitting someone or almost hitting someone

walks into things in his eyeline that he can see are coming closer, or tries to dodge things when they get close enough instead of just moving over half an inch

bumps his head, stubs his toes a lot, trips or almost trips like once an hour

will bump into your if you're walking beside him, he has a bad habit of nearly shoving people into walls because of how close he gets

apologizes to inanimate objects that he bumps into on the regular

taught himself to play the guitar, drums and piano

when he was a kid his grandparents had a little standing piano in their living room and he'd mess around with it, and then he heard a song on the radio he really liked that had a piano in it so he sat down and over christmas break he taught himself how to play the song, and then how to play some more songs — he only ever seeks out a piano when he's sad now

wayne got him a kid sized drum set for christmas one year, and he played with it until it ultimately broke apart — he taught gareth to play drums

his love of playing guitar came from his father, who before and abandoning eddie taught him a couple chords, and gave him his first guitar — it was an acoustic but it was the only good gift his father ever gave him

cannot stay still

fidgets with his rings, taps his foot, clicks pens (until everyone around his is annoyed), picks at peeling paint, stickers, etc, doodles on himself constantly

has hearing loss from how loud he plays his music + not wearing ear protection at band practices

its mostly because of how loud he cranks his music in the van, never realizes how bad it is until he gets in in the morning for work/school and nearly deafens himself but also scares himself so bad that sometimes he dumps his coffee all over the place

has a terrible memory

writes lists/important 'to do's' on the top of his hand/wrist because he always forgets something, he always has something written down — and despite this still forgets

reuses jokes that aren't that funny but will die laughing upon every delivery

walks into hell fire weaing the same shirt as every friday session and will say "oh that's embarrassing, we've all worn the same thing" ((also not my head canon but it's so funny and i can't stop thinking about it so i had to add it))

is always reading something

be it a horror novel, a dnd manual, something someone recommended to him, he always has a book on/with him

loves thunderstorms and rain

he finds it calming, the rhythmic beating of the rain hitting the metal of the trailer roof, a kind of music in its own right

he likes to sit in the doorway and watch as it pours down, just sitting there, feeling the mist of cool water that sprays up

under absolutely no circumstances does he fuck with porcelain dolls

their eyes are creepy and they follow you, 'nough said

loves halloween more than any other holiday

dresses up every year with zero regard for what anyone thinks, loves to scare kids, always has the most elaborate set up so that he can sit out in the yard and watch/be apart of the scaring

is a lover

doesn't really have many preferences for a partner, isn't really set on a specific gender, body type, age, etc

i'm of the belief that eddie would love you for loving him

terrible at fighting

he prefers not to fight, which is why he wears rings, so if he has to at least that might get them to back off

so good at gift giving

he remembers that one thing you mentioned that one time like nine years ago and anytime he sees something that reminds him of you he gets it

prefers to make gifts for people, and always gets them something they love/need

#best friend!eddie munson #best friend!eddie x reader #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #stranger things #pileofboneswrites #dustin henderson #dustin henderson x reader #eddie munson #jonathan byers #robin buckley x reader #robin buckley #steve harrington x reader #jonathan byers x reader #billy hargove x reader #billy hargrove #eddie munson smut #eddie munson imagine

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squishysoftmonsters · 1 year ago

Text

Triggers : Sexual Content/Themes [Mature +18 Minors /Ageless DNI]

💚TD Master Post💚

💚Charming Attraction? 💚

Taking a chance with this alien,a ride with teacups that went with the rhythm of human intimacy was your first stop. Faint gurgles escaped the cups.

The name of the ride was scrawled in a language that was'nt exactly English. It was like a messed up type of Braille.

Alien : [chortles] The Humpycups?

You : [laughing] Humpywhat?

Alien : [chortles] Says here,calm monsters live in these cups and react with the warmth and heat scent of a rider. Each session with a creature can be pre set to your liking via the attendant. It also says commando is preferred but not recommended.

He nudged you with a smirk.

You : [chortles]Gross!You have to be naked in this amusement park? I can't.

He shrugged at you and removed his garnments while you pulled yours to where the fabric was the shape of your limbs.

Alien : I'm game for some tentacles to go down on me in one of those cups. Don't be shy.

You blushed at the size of the genital slit on your friend,innocent mind going to the dark side about his dong..the thickness and length it was,hoping he'd say yes to helping with internal decoration if you asked.

Attendant : Are you ready to interact with the cup creatures?

You : [blushing] Yes. But is it true that you have to go naked?

Attendant : If you'd like to tease the cup creatures,it's not required.

You : Phew..

Attendant : How long would you like to spend with them?

You : Uhh..I don't know maybe 5 minutes max.

Attendant : [chuckles] Alright.

Alien : [shrugs] Same.

Attendant : Please watch your step,and be safe.

Both : We will.

You heard the chittering sounds amongst the creatures as they listened to you both enter,carefully stepping into a cup and making yourself comfortable.

You : Hello there.

You stifled giggles as it started by tickling your parts with it's mushy tentacles. Aware of your heat,the creature wanted to toy with you some by slowly and surely doing away with your garnments,rubbing and grabbing.

A warm and fuzzy feeling washed over you as it sucked your tongue and licked your nipples

The cup monster grew engorged as it lubricated itself,giving stretches that made you see planets and begin drooling losing all sense of self. Your insides were being bullied by this tough creature,and you loved every moment!

It happily gaped you,squealing delightfully while holding the back of your neck,making little moans pushing against it's manic thrusts that squelched with every push. It squeaked more as your backside clenched down on the said tentacle.

Your eyes watered and glazed as the cup creature's tentacle numbed your throat,so you would'nt choke or gag as you sucked it awhile. To hear your orgasmic cries,it released your mouth,overjoyed with how you screamed and jizzed all over it.

In the other cup,you heard muffled groans from your friend as he was suspended and every orifice was plugged with a creamy tentacle of massive size. They both screamed in bliss after a monster orgasm between both parties.

After the ride was finished,you both stumbled out of your cups,bodies racked with pleasure from being pounded to the point of no return by nymphomaniac cups. The creatures were carefully washed afterward by the managers of the ride. They were angered,as they liked your scent and against being bathed.

You : [tired] That was fun.

Alien : [dazed] Who's the year and what's the President?

You : What? [chortles]

The attendants helped you both out of the ride. None of the aliens gave you weird looks or stares as walking around naked in the otherworldly Disneyland was pretty much normal. You held in a giggle as one of the games was called Lord of the Shlongs.

Alien : The idea is to use your assets to fling these clay discs,knocking down the targets. Well I think my john is mighty enough.

You : [laughs] Ewww.

Alien : I could do bicep curls with it if you want.

You : [chuckles] No.

The prizes were weird but adorable in their own way. Among them a plush human penis,balls and even a vagina. The newest prize was a giant hemipenis. Intimidated by the mini game,your chest and down below wasn't strong enough to throw anything.

Alien : No worries,I'll get you a prize.

You found yourself almost fainting at the strength and accuracy of your friend's dong as he took out several of the targets. After 20 targets,he claimed the Hemipenis plush,presenting it to you as a gift.

You both booked the night at a hotel after enjoying some of the sexual themed rides and mini games. Creature Endurance was one of them. You're tied down and triple penetrated by theme park owned and well cared for monsters of various dong sizes for several minutes.

You managed to handle a 12..but gave up at 13. After a shower,you lied in bed next to your friend,poking his leashed endowment which changed color with every poke.

You : Is that how you stay young?[giggles]

Alien : There's no such thing as oversexed and overstretched. So yes.

You straddled him and ran your fingers through his hair.

Alien : [chortles] It's about time. I dont have 4 eyes for nothing.

His mushy manhood wormed it's way into your booty hole.

You : [giggles] What are you doing?

Alien : It needs warming.

You began riding him.

You : [softly] What's your name anyway?

Alien : [huffs] Does it matter?

He kissed your forhead while squishing your buttcheeks with his hands,then kissed your lips. You giggled as his tongue went down your throat,but did'nt choke,as the saliva on his tongue relaxed the uvula,the muscle responsible for gag reflex.

As you kissed him,you continued giggling,the deeper he went into your backside.

Alien : You're still very tight.

You : I just sprang back into place I guess.

You liked the alien boy very much. His carefree attitude made it all the more better. He bit his lip.

Alien : Not if I loosen you up again.

You laughed,burying your face in his medium sized honkers. He spanked your booty as you began to bounce on his shlong.

Alien : [growls] You won't be the same once I'm done. I'm gonna stuff you and fill you with cream.

You were excited about what was next 💚

#squishylovers #smut imagine #monster smut #terato #gender neutral reader #alien fucker #tentacles #tentacle nsft #monster fucker #alien romance #alien smut

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pixeldolly · 21 days ago

Text

The Sacrifice - Part 10

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!"

"The idol's gone, Eliza. I displaced it into Yg's core; if that doesn't melt it, nothing will. Either way, nobody's ever getting their hands on it again."

Yg...the name flashed through Eliza's reeling mind. It was an incalculably old star, a bloated red giant orbited by the lifeless husks of three nameless planets on a plane of existence so remote, fact gave way to rumor and conjecture.

None of that mattered.

Not even her disfigurement mattered, weighed against this new calamity.

Eliza could have struck Fiona dead right then and there, if she hadn't been frozen in utter terror.

The Chkrxgmbvegh, the Nameless One, also felt the shift in the planes.

It felt the inexorable pull of the abyss, as its hold on the material plane began slipping away. Already, it could smell the familiar stench of sulphur and rot and hear the cries of the damned, but the demon was furious.

It had been cheated.

"Witch! Thisss iss your fault! Your sssuffering shall be legendary, even in Hell!"

It did not specify which of the two witches it was speaking to, but Eliza Clare could sense the demon's red-hot ire even as it was pulled into a vortex of lurid un-light. That burning, vengeful anger was aimed at her.

"No, please! It wasn't my fault! SHE's the one, SHE did it!"

"I'll fix it, I swear! I'm begging you, give me another chance!"

Eliza's pleas fell on deaf ears. If the demon was listening, it didn't care; all it cared about was revenge.

She screamed as the fire ignited under her feet, engulfing her with a speed that was unnatural, unstoppable. Eliza thought she knew pain, but she was soon to be disabused of that notion.

She also knew with a certainty that did not originate within herself that this, too, would pale before future torments. Demons did not forgive.

And there was nothing she could do to change it. In a flash of insight dying minds are sometimes granted, Eliza realized that she had been hurtling towards the inferno all along, unable to feel the heat.

Maybe, once, a different outcome had been possible, but the point of no return had come and gone long ago. For the first time in decades, Eliza tasted regret, bitter as a mouthful of poison.

And then, she saw.

A stern father, a Jacoban preacher, trying to "beat the magic out of her."

A resentful mother berating her, knowing she could never, ever be good enough.

Herself as a young woman, vowing she would never be made to feel powerless again, no matter the cost. Sentiment was a weakness to be exploited, which she would cut out of herself as one would an infection.

Her son in her arms, her resolve weakening. It did not break.

Her son...

Then, Eliza saw no more.

"Wh- What happened? Where'd that thing go? Uuughh, I feel like I was hit by a goddamn truck!"

"Banished back to its home dimension. It sounded none too pleased about it, which means a certain blonde witch is being shown the hospitality of the Hellplanes as we speak."

"The fire...shit, are those ashes...?"

"Yep. Didn't leave much behind, did she?"

"Fucking hell - Roman!"

"He's fine. Luckily, the demon only took Eliza."

"Luckily? Sounds like you weren't sure what would happen."

"Well, I wasn't, exactly. I made an educated guess that it would see Eliza as the bigger prize. She'd sold her soul to that thing years ago - Roman was an advance payment on that debt, but it was never going to be enough. The Nameless One was toying with her; it would've demanded more and more, until she could no longer pay."

"Uhuh. And what if it had decided to take both of them?"

"That was a possibility, but I figured it only had enough power left to take one or the other."

"You gamble an awful lot with people's lives, Fiona."

"Considering the alternative was that we all died, I like to think it wasn't unreasonable."

"Fair, I guess. I'm okay too, by the way. Fuck, this bite burns like a motherfucker though! Is demon spit toxic?"

"Jacob...?"

"I'm here. Everything's going to be okay!"

"Where is -"

"It's gone. Fiona banished it; I think. You're safe now."

"And my...mother?"

Jacob pursed his lips; giving that woman the title of "mother" felt like a travesty.

"She's gone too."

"You...How did you know...?"

"It's a long story. I'll tell you all the details later, but right now we need to get you to a hospital. How...how are you feeling?"

"Hurts. But - Jacob..."

"Shhhhh."

"Thank you..."

#sims 2 #ts2 #the sims 2 #sims2 #sims 2 bacc #bacc: walden #sims 2 story #story: the sacrifice #roman turner #jacob merridew #fiona merridew #eliza clare #evelyn morgan #the nameless one #yes that is a hellraiser reference #tw: blood #tw: death

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squatch-and-stretch · 18 days ago

Text

(Un)happy Reunion

Ford Pines & Stan Pines & Fiddleford McGucket | 13,626 words | Mystery Trio Through the Multiverse AU

Fiddleford reunites with Stanford and meets Stanley after 6 months alone in a post-apocalyptic city in some other dimension.

Chapter 1

see notes for future chapters!

If Fiddleford had to describe this world he’s spent the past 6 months in in a single word, he’d probably choose terrible. Other descriptors such as strange, horrible, post-apocalyptic, and dangerous also come to mind. Lately, though, he’s been putting a lot of thought into the word lonely.

There were intelligent species here, once. It’s clear in the almost-familiar design of this destroyed city, in the tattered books written in a language Fiddleford can’t make any sense of, in every little item he comes across. He even has an idea of what they looked like— he’s seen their art, their pictures, their mangled bodies— and Fiddleford has to wonder if Bill understood the cruel irony of sending him to a world that was once inhabited by pig people.

He wonders, sometimes, if he could have found a way to communicate with them, if any of them were left. Would his throat have been able to form the words of their language, or theirs his? Would they have tried to help him? Just being around another living creature that didn’t try to kill him on sight would be pretty nice right now.

Unfortunately, that’s never been what this planet has in store for him, and when he hears something move nearby, he knows it’s a threat.

It must be in the next alleyway, and it’s fairly big— most of the monsters Bill left here are. Fiddleford goes still, staring in the direction of the alleyway and listening for any other sign of movement. It’s quiet for a moment, until Fiddleford hears a loud crash and what sounds like hushed murmuring. So many things have sounded like human voices lately that he doesn’t put any stock into it, just dips into the nearest alleyway in an attempt to escape whatever is making that noise before it even knows he’s here.

It’s an attempt that fails immediately, as he crashes into a pile of shredded metal like an idiot. It slices through the worn fabric of his pants, but as far as he can tell it doesn’t reach skin. It does, however, make a very loud noise, and the not-voices go quiet.

“Son of a gun,” he allows himself to hiss, and he takes off down the alleyway without any further regard to the sound he’s making.

Something steps out in front of him, blocking his way. It’s taller than the previous inhabitants of this planet, but smaller than most of the monsters he’s encountered. It’s built a lot like a person, and not a particularly imposing one at that, so Fiddleford doesn’t slow his roll for a moment. He fishes a knife out of the tattered pocket of his lab coat, and slams his shoulder into the beast.

It cries out, still sounding a heck of a lot like a person as it hits the ground, breaking Fiddleford’s fall. He presses the knife to what should be its throat, and is almost surprised to find smooth, human-looking skin beneath his blade. It’s a familiar shade, even, and Fiddleford can’t help but let his eyes wander further up to its face—

“Stanford?” Fiddleford spits, downright baffled to see his big brown eyes looking up at him.

Stanford opens his mouth to respond, but before he can, Fiddleford is being hauled off of him. Something has grabbed the back of his scarf and pulled it tight, tight enough that Fiddleford gags against the construction, tight enough that he’s reminded of Bill’s hand around him, crushing the breath from his lungs, and suddenly he’s being slammed against the brick wall of the alleyway and crushed between Bill’s uncaring fingers and—

“Stanley!”

That’s Stanford’s voice, he’d recognize it anywhere, but how is he here?

“Who the fuck—“

A voice, closer than Stanford’s, unfamiliar but definitely not Bill. It’s a person that’s holding him, and even if he’s struggling to breathe against the arm pressed to his throat, he can deal with a person.

Fiddleford kicks out, slamming his knee between the legs of his assailant.

“Son of a—!” he shouts, but he lets go of Fiddleford to stumble back.

“Stop! Stanley, this is Fiddleford! He’s the reason we’re here!” Stanford says, inserting himself between the two of them. “Well, he’s the reason I wanted to be here. You’re the reason you’re here and we don’t know how to get back.”

Yep, that insufferable holier-than-thou tone is definitely Stanford.

“I’m the reason you’re here?” Fiddleford chokes, rubbing his throat as he tries to regain his bearings. “It’s your fault I’m here!”

“I know that!” Stanford says, turning to Fiddleford.

Stanford looks about the same as he left him, beyond the dark circles under his eyes. Fiddleford knows the same can’t be said about himself.

“Listen, Fiddleford, I—“

“Save it, Stanford,” Fiddleford snaps, shaking his head as he turns towards the other man in the alleyway. “You must be Stanley?”

When Fiddleford first heard about Stanford’s twin, he imagined a carbon copy of his then-roommate. Stanley is not that. They’re nearly identical in the shapes of their faces, the texture and shade of their hair, the slope and color of their eyes, but the similarities end there. Put simply, Stanley looks like shit, with long, tangled hair, an unshaven face, and dark circles to rival Stanford’s, all wrapped up in a ratty jacket over an even rattier shirt. Even the way he holds himself is worrying, the way he’s hunched in on himself like a coiled spring, turned to the side like he’s keeping something just out of sight, eyes weary, teeth grit.

“Yeah, that’s me,” Stanley grumbles, and he draws himself even tighter. Even in conversation he’s locked on the defensive, and with the brief glimpse of an interaction between him and Stanford, Fiddleford can’t say he blames him.

“Nice ta meet ya, Stanley. I’d offer to shake your hand, but mine seems to be missin’,” Fiddleford greets. “Well, not missin’ exactly, I know where it is, but it ain’t doin’ me much good inside the stomach of some rottin’ monster.”

“Your arm!” Stanford exclaims belatedly.

He grabs for Fiddleford’s shoulder, but Fiddleford quickly smacks his hand away, a shudder running through his body at the phantom sensation of someone grabbing at what remains of his arm. He steps away, eyeing Ford wearily, almost expecting him to try again.

He doesn’t. He brings his hand back, tucking it to his chest for just a moment, hurt in his eyes. After a moment, he clears his throat, straightens up, and tucks his hands behind his back.

“I take it that’s a new development?” Stanley says, watching Fiddleford carefully. The matching scrutinizing gazes of both twins sets Fiddleford even further on edge.

“I would never have allowed such grievous injury to come to him under my care!” Stanford huffs, glaring at Stanley.

Fiddleford barks out a laugh, shaking his head.

“And who’s god-forsaken vanity project brought me here, Stanford?”

“Easy, Fiddlesticks,” Stanley cuts in before Stanford can respond. “None of us are happy to be here, but he—“

Fiddleford raises his hand. “Shut yer yap.”

“Okay, rude—“

“I mean it, don’t ya hear that?” Fiddleford hisses. It’s barely audible, not like Stanford and Stanley’s rustling in a nearby alleyway. Something is moving through the main streets.

“I don’t hear shit, except some hillbilly interrupting me wh—“

“I hear it,” Stanford says, and Stanley throws his arms up in frustration.

Click-click, drag, click-click, click-click. Three functional limbs, one dragging along, moving at a gradual, unhurried pace. The time between each step suggests a step length of perhaps a meter. It’s large, too large for Fiddleford to deal with without his arm, but likely small enough to fit into this alleyway. Stanley seems pretty tough, and Stanford had somehow held his own for 6 years in Gravity Falls despite its many dangers, but he wasn’t about to trust either of them in a fight against whatever unknown beast was approaching.

“It’s coming from—“ Stanford whispers, and despite the low volume, Fiddleford cringes at the sound.

“I know,” Fiddleford snips quietly, “follow me.”

Fiddleford doesn’t bother to check if either of them listened— Stanford reacts well to confidence, and with any luck, Stanley would as well— before he’s slinking out of the alleyway, carefully watching his step this time.

“Come on, dumbass,” Stanley hisses, and Fiddleford spares them a glance. Both have moved to follow, but Stanford is hesitating, looking behind him even as Stanley grabs his arm and pulls him along behind him.

“I just want a look—“ Stanford mumbles, shaking Stanley’s hand off.

“This ain’t Gravity Falls, Stanford, an’ I won’t hesitate to leave you ‘n’ your brother for mincemeat if you don’t hurry yer asses up!”

Stanford immediately turns towards Fiddleford, eyes wide, mouth parted in shock. Fiddleford glares at him, lets him truly believe he means it (Fiddleford knows he wouldn’t leave Stanford or his brother, damn him) before he turns back around and continues on the way. This time, Stanford and Stanley follow without any further prompting, though Fiddleford hears what sounds like an amused snort from Stanley at Stanford’s sudden obedience.

#fiddleford mcgucket #stanford pines #stanley pines #gravity falls #silver scribe (writing tag)#gonna fully cross post fics here ? but you’re missing out on my entire novellas worth of authors notes

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z0-ne · 9 months ago

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Hi! It’s me again I was wondering if I could request another goku + younger sister reader but this time can it be but like them being siblings and them doing sibling stuff (Hc’s please 😚🫶)

HIIII! Yes! If you couldn't tell by now I love doing any platonic goku stuff its so cute and fun to think abt

GOKU AS Y0UR BIG BROTHER!

• Okay so just an FYI, you weren't raised by your big brother. Sorry, chi chi has enough stress with sayains as is, and not enough budget for three mouths again.

•Also, because you didn't hit your head when you landed, you werent exactly good.

•Not to say you were 'Abduct his child' type evil, probably because you're only four years older than Goten, but tou weren't good either. You blew up some stuff, injured people and tried to establish your dominance over the planet, gave Yamcha several heart attacks, and you had No idea who Vegeta was.

•So when they tried to get him to order you around that clearly backfired when his authority was tested by a sassy adolescent.

•"cease this absurd behavior! Your prince demands it!"

•It didn't help that he was wearing the pink shirt with some odd sandels. You looked him up and down before you scoffed.

•"Sorry princess, but I don't listen to stupid men in pink."

•Safe to say, you were a jerk, Goku knocked you out and Vegeta had to sit this fight out or he'd strangle a child.

•It took yall a while to get along, not because of trust issues from Raditz but because you were low-key evil too and you didn't like ANYONE at first.

•Hell it took a while to get you to stop being territorial or just flat out running away.

•Goku was the last person you bonded with, and that was because he kept having to drag you back home with your teeth latched into his arm.

•"Hey there- AH!" he cries out as you lunge at him and sink your teeth into his arm,, he swings his arm around hoping to detach you but its like you're locked on!

•"Ouch! Who just goes around biting people?!"

•Things changed a bit when you guys actually got along though. I guess the biting brought you closer??

•Goku doesn't visit that much, when it isn't involving training. I mean, the guy has work and trains with gods. He's very busy, but he makes time for you.

•Since you're close to gotens age but also a few years older, he likes to make time to pick you up from school to hang out with him and Goten for a bit.

•Its not like he just snatches you up out of school, he knows better, he's a father afterall, but after-school he's always excited to pick you and Goten up.

•"Hey! Ready to go?"

•However sometimes he forgets that he can't fly in public. Easy slip up, can you blame him though? It's as natural as walking!

°"Goku! You're flying!"

•"oh! Shoot!"

•Outings and shopping sprees are rare but he has experience with Chi Chi so he learned how to juggle the bags you throw to him while you go crazy in the mall.

•He doesn't mind it though because its a way to spend time with a non-deadly family member. Although he questions how deadly you are when it comes to a sale.

•"Hey! Thats on sale!"

°"But didn't that lady already cut infront to take it?"

•"That doesn't mean I'm gonna let her keep it!"

•Its like watching deers headbutt eachother. Then you just come back with the biggest grin holding up the shirt you wanted and adding it to the pile.

•When it comes to the food I pray for the people cooking..

•The two of you together have nearly been banned due to how much you eat, one restaurant offered to pay you two to just leave and stop ordering.

•You guys do play fight, at random times too.

•One minute you're getting along and they next, one of you is punching the other in the face.

•Goku bites. It's Canon, we see it all the time so don't think he won't chomp down just because yall are play fighting.

•it might also be payback for when you bit him...

#x reader #x y/n #anime #x you #dragon ball z #dbz x reader #platonic #dbz fandom #goku #Feral reader #sister brother #siblings

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cityzenshark · 2 months ago

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Cont'd from this post

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Thrash said, "Tell me you never realise how bad Robby's sleep was…"

"Of course I do!" Twitch exclaimed. "I'm the one who spends most of my time with him ."

"So it's a competition now? Robby is our brother no matter what, Twitch, not just yours."

Twitch flew at Thrash's face and pointed a finger at him. "Well, you weren't there when his friends insult him for defending us."

Hashtag let out a sharp exhale. "They didn't insult Robby or us, Twitch. Why are you still on about that graffiti?"

"What graffiti?" Jawbreaker asked.

Hashtag turned to the Stygi Terran. "In the skate park at Philly where we meet Robby's friends from his old school, there's a graffiti that said 'Transformers go home'."

"That's the tamest Transformers hate I've ever heard." Thrash replied.

The sisters looked at Thrash in surprise. "You've seen more of them?" Twitch asked.

"Yeah. 'Transformers are robots, robots aren't alive'. 'Transformers don't care about us, why should we them'. There are much worse hate display than what you two saw."

Twitch asked her twin again, "Don't you feel angry about that?"

"At first, until Swindle pointed his gun at Mo and me." Thrash meet her gaze steadily.

"What does Swindle have to do with the Transformers hate?"

"Swindle also called Mo 'flesh bag'. Shockwave called us 'abominations'. The Seekers laugh when they thought they killed us. Every Decepticon we meet always want to hurt us. And then I learned about the Autobot friendly fire."

An icy shudder run down Hashtag's spine. Not the friendly fire…

"The friendly fire was a long time ago." Twitch said. "The war's over. They should get over it."

Her siblings stared at her as though she grew a head. "Why are you guys looking at me like that?"

"Get over it?" Thrash repeated. "Get over it?!" he yelled. "Twenty seven thousand people died in that friendly fire, Twitch! The Autobots fired at a neighbourhood with a university hospital! A HOSPITAL!! There are more civilian casualties in that friendly fire than any Decepticon attack. Dad would've died there if he hadn't go see Mom. Do you remember Mo's friend Fatima? Her mom suffered energon poisoning to this day and Fatima got it too even though she's never seen energon. Twenty years is a long time for us, but it's only yesterday for Mom and Dad.

"But they don't have to hate every Transformer--"

"The world doesn't know we exist!" Thrash cried out in frustration. "No one knows Earth will have its own Transformers. All that anti-Transformer is not directed at us. Twitch, listen to yourself! Do you really think people can just get over after having their home become a war zone for giant alien robots for forty years?"

"Those 'alien robots' are us." Twitch retorted.

Jawbreaker braved himself to speak up. "No, we're not. We're born here on Earth and that makes us Earthlings."

"I concur with Jawbreaker," said Nightshade. "Tarantulas told me he is no Cybertronian. He is from the planet Eukaris. He will always be an alien on Earth. He also said he will never feel Earth as his home. Bumblebee feels the same--"

"If Bumblebee hears that from you, you're going to get it, Nightshade."

That's it. Hashtag put herself between her triplet and Twitch.

"Will you get your head out of the scrapyard, Twitch?! You're being an absolute jerk!"

#transformers #earthspark #tfes #macaddam #transformers earthspark #tf terrans #tf twitch #tf thrash #tf hashtag #tf nightshade #tf jawbreaker #firsts to grow up au

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young-royals-confessions · 1 year ago

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Hello hello, it's anon from the flight! And how lovely it's this fandom that I got a moniker from an anon confession? I've read the messages and checked the reblogs and wow! I seriously didn't expect for my unhinged message to be this welcomed since I'm three years too late to this beautiful show! With this beautiful people and thank you so much to everyone who recommended me to listen to the Simon-not-actually-made-by-AI actor. AND SINGER! BEAUTIFUL AND TALENTED. I'm still in disbelief he's real, like Omar Rudberg is so pretty AND has such a nice voice??? AND HE'S GORGEOUS and he's a great actor and UGH THE CHEMISTRY. With who I now know iis called Edvin and now I feel the need to see them acting next to eachother forever and ever, so much chemistry can't be wasted!! (looking at Netflix. I'm still so crossed I missed out of this beauty for three years wtf Netflix)

SO I binge watched the second season, patience isn't my name, and WHAT THE FUCK. Was not prepared for that rollercoaster. I gotta be honest, I almost stopped watching and went to sleep halfway through the season like ugh I fucking hate that Marcus dude, sure in the end I understand why he was a necessary evil for the plot but I fucking hate love triangles. I was a teenage girl during the height of love triangles in tv shows, I hate them. But I hate August the most. I think of his face and feel enraged.

BUUUUUUUUUUT UGHHHH. THE LOVE BETWEEN SIMON AND WILLE. That overpowered everything. Seriously, how am I supposed to be functional after being a witness to their valentine's ball kiss? And Simon's song? (Which I have been obbsessively listening on repeat WTF I understand nothing but I can feel FEEL the meaning on my bones. This beautiful dude's voice wtf. I can understand Wille's obsession, I'm practically obsessed too now wtf)

AND THE END OHMYGOD. A BALM FOR MY SOUL. I was kind of hoping to get heartbroken AGAin for shit and giggles but noooo, I got the best ending and I'm trying to not be too spoiler-ey since I'm sure I'm not the only human being living in this planet called Earth who's unaware the most perfect TV show exists and it's called Young Royals and beautiful people are in it to everyone taste no matter your sexual orientation (like hello Felice too!)(still shocked Omar Rudberg is a real person and not generated by artificial intelligence, maybe I'll be convinced after some proper sleep time, but for now he's too beautiful to be real. Not even exaggerating and I'm really good at that okay!)

I'm still processing the second season, I took a nap after I finished but I'm still tired since I cried and laughed and was left with the biggest smile in my face (and I also was in an 8 hour flight!) and then went to youtube and saw a clip from season 3 AND OMFG THESE TWO DUDES ARE TOO PRETTY FOR WORDS. Happiness and love look wonderful in Wille, like the literal heart eyes he's delivering there? That's how I feel when I see Simon too. Relatable character is relatable. What can I say about Simon without sounding crazy except I need to protect him at all costs??

I don't know what else to say except THANK YOU for reading me and thank you to everyone who has been nice to me in the comments even when I'm still anon, it means the world to me. I hope I'll be more coherent after eight hours of sleep and I won't be too embarrassed reading my own message tomorrow lmao and I don't know how I'm going to survive until 2024 for season 3, I'm sitting here taking notes for that too! I already know the answer it's fanfics so I'll be checking AO3 but also analysis? Meta? how are you guys for real? I was expecting a teenage fandom with just vibes but I guess I was wrong. And I love it. As much as I love the show and Simon and Wille's relationship and I gotta be honest, Omar Rudberg's face and voice. UGH.

Thank you so much for reading me again and for everyone who has left messages for me, I'll freak out more once I get some proper sleep!

Thank you and I'm sorry again XOXO

YAY thanks for coming back!! 💜💜💜

#anon from the flight #is back!#yr s2 #yr s3 #yr fandom #young royals #omar rudberg #new fans

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tiniedemon · 2 years ago

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— ♡

with an insecure s/o headcanons

main 3 + butters

— ♡

stan

— doesn’t really understand why you’d be insecure but does his best to comfort you anyways

— all about body worship and hyping you up

— always commenting super sappy stuff on your posts

— “my s/o is quite literally the most perfect person on planet earth & i will die on this hill”

— will gladly lend you his clothes if they’re big on you & you wanna hide your body

— loves loves loves kissing all over all your “flaws” & telling you how much he loves them

— always gets super upset when you talk down on yourself

— “baby no you’re so amazing! why would say that about yourself?”

— feels like you’re dissing him too when you hate on yourself

kyle

— is genuinely so confused

— he’s a logical guy, thinks with facts

— if he doesn’t see something genuinely gross he doesn’t understand where there would be a problem

— gives you the dumbest look ever when you tell him the first time

— “but why though? you’re perfect the way you are.”

— he’s super sweet once he realizes you genuinely don’t like these things about yourself

— then he’s showing you pictures of sculptures of the greek gods

— specifically aphrodite

— “i don’t know why you’d hate yourself when this is the beauty standard for a literal goddess.”

— also lets you wear his clothes because it’s a confidence boost

— and because you look so damn good in them

— consistently telling you how beautiful you are

— doesn’t really know how to help when you’re crying about it but he’ll try his hardest

— also big into body worship bc you’re the most beautiful person he’s ever laid eyes on

kenny

— also doesn’t understand

— he wouldn’t call you pretty if he thought you were ugly so why do you think you’re ugly?

— constantly groping you and showing love to the spots you’re insecure about

— actually cries when you tell him everything you hate about yourself

— “i just don’t understand. you’re so perfect” *sobbing profusely*

— his sweet nothings consist of telling you everything he loves about you

— practically throws himself at you every chance he gets

— wants you to feel desirable and loved every second of every day

— “baby you’re making me weak in the knees right now” “i’m literally just breathing” “exactly you’re so pretty when you breathe 🥹”

— listens to everything you say even tho it hurts him that you feel this way

— doesn’t really know how to give advice but gladly offers a shoulder to cry on and uplifts you every chance he gets

butters

— by far the sweetest

— but also the most savage

— “bitch with an ass like that you better feel perfect”

— “wait but don’t cry i think you’re perfect just like this”

— frantically googles how to make his s/o feel better about themselves

— follows the wikihow article to a t and is surprised when it doesn’t work

— gifts you love letters about how perfect you are

— leaves post it reminders on your mirror to be a little nicer to yourself

— “you cut so much slack for everyone else, why not for yourself?”

— surprisingly gives the most advice of them all

— “pick one thing about yourself to work on loving for this week and i’ll help you”

— he’s so panicked when you’re crying that he just ends up bawling too

— but he still hugs you so that’s a plus

— every time you tell him something you don’t dislike about yourself he gives you his perspective

— his life goal is to make you love yourself as much as he does

#stan marsh x reader #kyle broflovski x reader #kenny mccormick x reader #butters stotch x reader #south park x reader

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ilsolefiesta · 4 months ago

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my 2023 Solar Return chart or "Great Expectations"

my birthday is coming up next month, and that's why I wanted to check my Solar Return chart for this year to see if it had worked properly for me (spoiler: it didn't work out the way I had hoped). I attach the chart below. 1. first of all, my 1st house Solar Jupiter in the Natal 9th house. honestly, I expected this year to be a really prosperous and eventful one. there we no bad aspects either (actually, there were no aspects with other planets at all). probably, that's why the whole year appeared to be "empty" and tasteless as I see it now (maybe the 12th house Saturn is also responsible). especially, in terms of the issues related to the 9th house. I could make a far-fetched argument and say that passing my Korean exam could be counted as an achievement, but... is that really enough for Jupiter's influence? I expected more. Jupiter is also close to my Natal Moon... well, the number of times I've been depressed because I was unable to travel abroad has increased dramatically. 2. another disappointment. just listen: connection between the 1st and the 7th Natal and Solar charts, Vertex in the conjunction with the DSC, Mars and Moon in the 7th house, Solar Pluto in the Natal 5th house, Jupiter positively aspecting the 7th house, Natal Venus in the 7th Solar house... here I also expected something special. I saw a lot of articles where such placements were describing a year of significant change in your romantic relationships, and even meeting your future husband. again - N-O-T-H-I-N-G. probably, my 12th house Solar Neptune being in my 7th Natal house have led me to believe this, but it was not meant to be. I was wrong. oh, wait a sec - this year I had VERY painful and ABSOLUTELY irrational crush (I'm too old for this shit and I can't really understand why and how it happened) on the celebrity with crazy Scorpio stellium and, guess, having Capricorn as Rising (the 7th house Solar Scorpio Moon and Capricorn Pluto falling into my 5th Natal house). well, is HE going to be my husband or what? :))) 3. Pisces Rising. well, it met expectations. the whole year I've been extra-sensitive. I guess the reason is that my Asc and Dsc swapped places and the issues of Dsc have become dominant this year. I've never cried that much on some strange stuff like absence of relationship. I really felt very lonely this year. like "I'm not that bad but haven't been on a date for 3 years already. what's wrong with me? do I have real friends? am I a friend to someone?" (guess, I also should blame my 11th house Solar Pluto). however, I should also mention that my appearance this year really matched Pisces ASC, I've learned to express my creative side more often. I think of it as a sublimation...

4. active 6th house. Venus, Sun, Mercury, Juno, Lilith here... well, okay, work is all I can remember from this year. work, work, work - honestly, I'm so tired of my life being so boring. however, I started this blog and I'm still trying to write something here. I haven't given up on it yet, and it's become a routine for me - the ruler of the 3rd house is in the 6th house. I guess, Solar Mercury in the 12th Natal house determined astrology as the main topic of my writings. but maybe Part of Fortune in the 12th Solar house helped...

5. the 9th house in Sagittarius + Gemini IC with it's ruler Mercury in the 6th house. I moved from my hometown and began working at a new place. Solar MC in Sagittarius also explains the fact that I'm working for the company connected with foreign affairs. along with the 2nd Solar house being in the 9th Natal.

6. Chiron in the 1st house in Aries. as the 1st house is usually associated with our body, I can say for sure that during this year, I have changed my style several times (I can add Leo Venus here). as Chiron is connected with traumas and the healing of these traumas - this year I also made 4 piercing (thanks to Taurus transit, but that's another story...). it has an opposition with my natal Venus in Libra - well, I agree that piercing and my planned tattoo are not really matching this Venus, haha. moreover, I had some really dangerous, purely Aries-styled situations that could have led to serious physical damage for me, but in the end, I'm okay.

7. Solar IC is in my Natal 10th house, and I currently live separately from my parents. however, this placement often indicates that family plays a significant role in matters related to housing. my aunt (who is also my neighbor now) found a place for me. additionally, my younger sister is now living with me.

overall: I was expecting far more from this year based on the chart. some things have indeed happened, but others haven't gone as I had hoped. I'm looking forward to what my 24th year will bring (I plan to experience a huge glow up and popularity rise as I'll have Leo ASC in the 5 degree...) Thanks for reading! Picture credits: Pinterest

#astro community #astrology placements #astro observations #astrology thoughts #astro notes #astrology #astrology tumblr #solar return #solar return observations

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lanawinterscigarettes · 8 months ago

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Greetings, I hope you're having a great day. If it's okay I'd like to request a Whittaker!master x reader. Where the reader is travelling with the Doctor and while wondering the reader catches the master trying to steal a Red Crystal from the leader of the planet. The reader tries to stop them but the master takes the crystal and talks about the power it holds and how it can make the target fall in love with the holder. They then begin to say "Losing you is blue, like I'd never known. Missing you was dark gray, all alone.Forget the doctor, Somebody you never met. Loving me is red, Loving me is red Oh, red Burning red" and the reader just sees Burning red in their their head as the power takes over their mind.. (Another Taylor swift reference)

Have an amazing day.

okay believe it or not this actually tops the lavender haze idea imo, it's so amazing! I hope you enjoy what I was able to come up with ❤

Burning Red (Whittaker! Master x reader)

Warnings: the Master makes someone tiny with her TCE (effectively killing them), drugging/temporary blindness via a magic crystal, mild swearing

The Doctor always told you not to wander off whenever you and him landed on some sort of alien planet, but you very rarely listened. Take now, for example, when you decided to explore the exact same place he'd told you not to.

"What's in that building over there?" You'd asked him curiously as you studied it, figuring it to be a temple of sorts.

"It's where the planet's leader lives. It also houses a very ancient piece of crystal native to the cave systems around here," he explained while looking around. "It'd be best not to go in. The people here can be very protective to what belongs to them, and they don't take kindly to those they assume to be thieves."

Nodding in understanding, you made it seem like you were listening when in fact you weren't. The second his back was turned, you slipped away, making a beeline for the building that lie up ahead.

If you thought the architecture was gorgeous on the outside, it was even more incredible within. You were so caught up gazing at the interior in wonder you almost didn't catch the conversation that was being held in a room down the hall.

The voices got louder the farther you crept down the hall. The closer you got, the more you realized you recognized one of them.

"I- I can give you money! However much you want!" The first voice cried, presumably belonging to the planet's leader.

"I don't care how much it's worth," the Master snapped as she pointed her TCE at the leader of the planet. "If I cared about money, I'd just collapse your economic system and set up a new one that made me rich."

The leader trembled in fear as they watched her. "Please, you don't understand just how important it is-" Their words were cut short as the sight of you standing in the doorway caught their eye.

The Master turned to see what they were staring at, her scowl transforming into a flirtatious smile. "Why, hello, my dear," she purred as her eyes looked you up and down. "What a coincidence meeting you here."

"Leave them alone, Master. They didn't do anything to you," you spoke in the firmest tone you could muster, something that caused her to laugh.

"Oh, how cute. No." You noticed she was clutching a bright red crystal in her other hand, the same one the leader was begging her not to take. "I'm leaving with this crystal, and neither one of you is going to stop me."

The leader went to lunge at her suddenly, trying to catch her off guard, but she merely sighed and shot a blast from her TCE at them. You let out a gasp in horror as you watched at how they were shrunken down, being killed instantly.

"Don't think I won't do the same thing to you," the Master warned lowly, her words clearly meant to be taken as a warning (even if she was bluffing).

"You didn't have to do that, Master. They didn't have to die." She scoffed at you in annoyance, prompting you to try again. "What do you need that stupid crystal for so badly that it caused you to kill an innocent person for it?"

"This, my dear, is no ordinary crystal," she sneered at you. "It holds quite a bit of power within it. In fact, it can make whoever's in possession of it fall in love with them, just like that." She looked pretty smug, though the sound of your mocking laughter wiped the smirk off her face.

"That itty bitty thing can make someone fall in love with whoever's holding it? Yeah, right." You said with an eye roll, clearly unimpressed.

The Master glared at you. "Laugh all you want, my dear, but soon you'll see for yourself just how incredible this crystal is."

You watched as she pulled out an old, weathered looking scroll from her pocket and unraveled it, reading from it while holding the crystal. "Losing you is blue, like I've never known. Missing you was dark gray, all alone. Forget the Doctor, somebody you never met-"

Narrowing your eyes in suspicion, a frown formed on your face as you asked, "What are you doing?" A strange feeling overcame you as she ignored you, continuing to read.

"-loving me is red, loving me is red. Oh, burning red-" The Master had an evil grin on her face as she watched how disoriented you were becoming from the effects of the crystal.

"What... what did you do to me?..." You slurred out in frustration, stumbling around while your vision began to blur.

"I'm just showing you the full effects of the crystal, dear. That's all," she explained casually with a slight shrug as though it were obvious, pocketing both the crystal and the scroll.

"You wanted to drug me, that's why you needed that damn crystal so bad," you accused while shooting her a dirty look. "Because you knew I'd never betray the Doctor for you. You had to use magic to cheat because you knew I'd never love you otherwise."

Her face hardened at your words. It was true, but she'd never openly admit that. "Well, it doesn't matter my reasoning for it now, does it? You're already doomed to succumb to the powers of a shiny rock because of the spell I used to activate it. I came up with it myself, you know."

As much as you wanted to tackle her and wipe that smug look off her face, you couldn't, as it was becoming more and more difficult for you to see due to a bright red color overtaking your sight. "I- I can't see-" You said in a panic, trying to feel around for something to grab onto.

"Oh, don't be so dramatic." You felt the Master's hands grab you and pull you in close. Despite your best attempts to wiggle free, it wasn't easy when you couldn't see anything. Still, that didn't mean you were going to give up just like that.

"I have to get back to the Doctor" seemed to be your last coherent thought before you passed out in her arms. When you woke back up, you were on the Master's TARDIS. Your vision was still tinted red, but it wasn't nearly as bad as before.

"Hello, my dear," she greeted warmly while sitting in an armchair beside the bed you'd been placed in. "How are you feeling?"

The only thing you had on your mind now was her, any thoughts regarding the Doctor long gone. You reached your hands out towards her, mumbling out tiredly, "Master... I love you, Master. I love you."

She chuckled at the sudden display of affection, rising from her seat and making her way over to you. "You're adorable," she cooed in an almost condescending manner as she sat down next to you, allowing you to cling to her. "You love me? Wonderful. I'm so glad."

Likes < reblogs | comments are greatly appreciated <3

Main masterlist | Doctor Who masterlist | wanna be added to my taglist?

🏷 taglist: @theonetruepotato87 @sessa23

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pawseds · 18 days ago

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Dear Hrodwyn

[843 words; a Lancer RPG fic]

06 SEP 5010u

Dear Hrodwyn Vorobyev, what to say to you? You have her eyes You have your father's name When you came into the world you cried And it broke my heart

Here, on this ice planet in its lonely orbit, life thrived.

As the sun's first rays carve peaks out of darkness, see how bones of copper and steel are nestled between treacherous mountains. See how they are buried beneath white snow and frozen in azure depths, weathered by the elements but preserved by solitude.

Quickly, before the sun parts with the land again, look how this metal skeleton twists along the planet's veins, the great frozen river. The river streaks blue and green across white, and with the sun's warm blessing, it brings forth minerals and algae, water and valour.

From afar, this planet is death. But closer, the river carves a path through the white void. The river carves life.

I'm dedicating every day to you Domestic life was never quite my style When you smile You knock me out, I fall apart And I thought I was so smart

Here, on the fringes of exploration and expansion, life thrived.

No one recalls when the first colonies arrived, but the winds remember what they came here for. It was not for the bones of metal, but it was for what the bones once were. It was for the red-hot core of energy housed within, the dying heart of a star.

See how greed tries to dig its venomous claws into the stars. See how, in greed's self-declared war against itself, it tears apart scraps of alloys, weapons of titanium, and frames of carbon fibre. It is a hunger that ravages; it is a hunger that tears its stomach inside out to house the mass graves of the first colonies.

It all ends like how it all first began: with silence. Life, innocent in ignorance, crawls out of the graves to start anew. No human remembers what they came here for.

The wind warns them in whispers, but it cannot control who listens.

You will come of age with our young nation We'll bleed and fight for you We'll make it right for you If we lay a strong enough foundation We'll pass it on to you We'll give the world to you And you'll blow us all away Someday, someday

Here, on footsteps that follow the river eternally, live thrives.

From dust, tiny specks come together like ants to form new colonies. Though humans have greed, they also have resilience, intelligence, and creativity. Observe how they dig through the snow with their own hands, wrangle with tooth and leather and stone, and explore for years to reignite the machines that first brought them here. Watch as they create tools with the guidance of ghosts. Watch as they teach themselves to walk, to run, and to fly once again.

What was first a single colony in the beginning has now scattered into multiple colonies -- some big, some small. The biggest colonies were grown on the secret to reawakening cores. Their strength fuels machines, their warmth radiates from hearths, and their light is a beacon from which cities are built around. But though their light welcomes all to hide from the frigid cold and dark days, the secret of the cores remain tightly grasped within the palms of handpicked engineers.

Cores are scarce and so are the cities that followed. In their wake, smaller settlements are nurtured around other sources of life: the geothermal energy volcanoes bring, the lamps and heaters machines bring, and the fresh food and water rivers bring. Trade routes are forged between these settlements, and when the first port to the rest of the galaxy opens in the largest city, the settlements begin crossing paths more and more like constellations across the ink-black sky.

But some colonies do not settle. Some continue to fare across the white void as their ancestors once did. Forever walking, forever migrating, these nomadic colonies follow the planet's orbit as they seek the longest days of warmth, the longest hours of light. The sun is their beacon, their core, so these colonies continue to follow it: living off the river that melts and freezes and melts, marching across the planet's equator back to where they began again and again and again. ⠀ Nothing changes from this never ending track. In these nomadic colonies, the scouts go scout for shelter and danger on foot, the hunters go hunt the feared and the fearing on machines, and the rest of the farers follow the path cleared through the snow.

Nothing changes until a settler hears the song of a farer.

Nothing changes until the settler, with her wit and her machine, joins the farer on his eternal voyage; and the farer too embarks on a new eternal voyage of walking in the settler's shoes and seeing through the stars in her eyes.

With time comes love, and with love comes life.

Yeah, you'll blow us all away Someday, someday...

Life learns, life changes, and life thrives.

---

I wrote this all the way back in 22 May this year, and here it finally is with some light editing! (Don't mind the grammar errors, it is late and I am tired lmao). I ported the Birdfam yet again into Lancer, in which Gavrill Vorobyev is, yet AGAIN, my PC! (I just really want him on a Swallowtail idk I think it fits him well) The biggest differences here is that he's 21 instead of 41, his wife Leyna is alive, his kid Hrodwyn was just born (coincidnetally, the campaign kicks off a day after), and he doesn't have thirty four mental illnesses.

I do not take credit for this worldbuilding! This planet is directly ripped off of the planet the Birdfam originally came from, which was from a 4e campaign. So it's my GM who came up with this; all I did was write about it here.

(i'm gonna throw in all the hamilton references i want FIGHT ME)

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cyberphuck · 9 months ago

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ROYAL ASSASSIN ABRIDGED: PART TWO

My friend Razz wants to understand my shitposting about Robin Hobb’s Farseer Trilogy, but they don’t want to actually have to read the books, so I’m summarizing it for them (and you)! (Check out all the other entries in the Farseer Trilogy Abridged series at the masterpost. Also if you think I’m funny you can send me a ko-fi from there.)

EDIT: added some strikethroughs where they were supposed to go and put something funny where I had just left the reminder to write something funny. Last Time on Dragon Book Z (rip Toriyama sensei), Fitz finally made it home from the mountains. He’d seen via Skill-o-Vision that Molly had been viked by Vikings, and he was desperate to see if she’d flagged herself ‘safe’ from Being Raided on Facebook…

The next day, Fitz is minding his own business being told by Cook Sara that he looks like shit when he spontaneously decides to climb sixty four flights of stairs. Considering that his tiny teenaged body is still 89% poison by volume and he just got home from the worst road trip of his life (so far!), by the time he gets to the top he's facedown on the floor, pushing himself along by his toes.

“Hello, Lil Accident,” Verity says, putting down his binoculars. “Wow, you look like shit.”

“So I’ve been told,” Fitz mumbles to the floor. ”You look a lot less skeletal than when I last saw you.“

”Thanks! I had sex.“

Fitz tries to get up and fails. ”I didn't even know you'd be up here.”

“Aha, but you see, I Skilled you here, and you didn't even know it. In fact I've been balls-deep in your brain for a week with you none the wiser, because this is a thing I can do with the Skill.“

Fitz spits out a mouthful of dust. ”Wow, when do I get to learn that kind of thing?“

”Never,“ Verity smiles, turning back to the window. ”Come look at my ships.“

Dragging himself up to the windowsill, Fitz peeks out. “Neat! We'll be able to defend ourselves against the Vikings with these for sure!“

”Yes,” Verity growls. “And I can't wait to continue the cycle of violence by going all the way to the Viking home planet and viking them back!“

Somewhere downstairs, the Fool rubs his temples, sighing loudly.

”Anyway, now that I've forced you to climb all the way up here, let's go back down so I can get something to eat.” Verity picks Fitz up by the scruff of his neck. “I want to hear all about your little trip to the Big Onion.“

They head down to Verity's man cave, and after watching 'ASSASSIN'S APPRENTICE ENDING EXPLAINED— WHAT REALLY HAPPENED TO AUGUST,' Verity reads the comments, most of which point out that Regal should have totally died in a fire for plotting to kill his own brother and murdering a bunch of the wedding party.

Fitz looks at the hay bale in the corner, where the Fool is updating his Linkedin. ”Listen, I have a way bigger part in this book than the last one,“ the Fool says without looking up. ”I'm not gonna have time to re-explain who everybody is to you whenever you want. I've got a big death scene coming up.“

”You're going to die?!“ Fitz cries.

”Someone is,“ the Fool murmurs.

”You're probably wondering why I haven't punished Regal for any of the stuff he did last book,“ Verity says, steepling his fingers. ”And the truth is, I'm not going to, because he'll just throw a temper tantrum about it and I don't want to deal with that.“

”What if he tries to kill one of us again?“

”Pff, don't worry about it, Lil Accident.“ Verity waves him off. ”You can take tomorrow off to go look for your dead girlfriend.“

Fitz stands up. ”Thanks Prince Verity, I'm gonna go have a seizure before bed.“

But as soon as he steps out of the room, Lacey jumpscares him and drags him off to go see Lady Patience, who is laying in a pile of her current hyperfixations. ”You missed the wedding,” she says accusingly.

”Sorry, Mrs. My Dead Dad's Wife,“ Fitz sighs. ”Regal tried to, uh, do whatever the opposite of poisoning me and trying to drown me is, and now whenever I get excited I fall over.“ He accepts a glass of wine from Lacey, then dumps it over his head. “I've gotta move on to the next plot point now.”

Fitz is staggering up the stairs, leaving a wet smear of Rosé after him, when a Servant Girl comes to take his arm. “Here, sir,” she says sweetly. “Let me help you weave drunkenly back to your chambers. Wouldn't want you falling down the stairs and breaking your stupid lying neck.”

“Thanks, mysterious servant girl. You can drop me off at the corner, I’ll walk from here.”

But instead of letting him have a seizure in peace, the Servant Girl punches him in the gut and kicks him in the nads, because she's Molly!

“Holy shit, you're alive!” Fitz sobs. “Oh man, I had a vision that you got viked, it was awful—”

Molly kicks him in the nads again. “I did get viked, and afterwards I came here looking for you to ask you to loan me some cash, or get married to me. My dumb ass went around to all the servants going 'hey, have you seen the scribe's apprentice, he looks just like FitzChivalry Farseer,' and someone filmed me and made a TikTok titled 'tfw you find out your boyfriend is really The Bastard.'”

“Oh,” Fitz cringes.

“Yeah 'oh,'” Molly says. “It has sixteen million views and hashtag Cat-Fitzed is trending on Twitter.”

“It's called X now,” Fitz squeaks. “What about the older, hotter guy I saw you walking off with?“

”That was my cousin,“ Molly snarls. ”Do you think I'd date someone with an earring?“

“Gosh, it's a good thing I don't wear one of those,” Fitz says, polishing his collar.

”Anyway, you're gross and I hate you,“ Molly declares. ”Do not, under any circumstances, continue to attempt to woo me. Goodbye.”

Despite Fitz's best efforts, he continues to have a seizure any time he tries to do anything except have a seizure. Even into the next day, he's still ragdolling like a character in a seventy dollar video game on release day. The Fool appears briefly to catch a glimpse of Fitz in his underwear, but before they can do any real flirting, Lacey and Patience show up again.

“Listen, Prince Dumbass,” Patience says, “you fucked up bigtime letting Molly think she was in your league. She came here thinking you'd grown up in a double-wide same as her, drinking off-brand kool aid and saving butter containers to use as tupperware. When people found out you lied to her, they started calling her a hump-and-dump.”

“But we never even humped,” Fitz objects.

“And it's a good thing, too, because as royalty you're only allowed to hump at the King's pleasure. Princes are not allowed to run around sticking their dick in whoever they want, that's how we ended up with you. You'd just make a bunch more Fitzes, and we don't have enough paid extras anymore to traumatize *all* of those kids.”

“We could drown them,” Lacey suggests, working on a cross-stitch that says 'GALS BEING PALS.'

”They wouldn't be Fitzes if me and miss Molly got married,“ Fitz says. ”I'll just go and do that real quick.“

Patience whacks him in the head with a rolled up newspaper. ”No! You're going to marry whoever the King tells you to marry, and no one else. We learned our lesson with Chivalry: we can never, ever allow you to have any control over your life whatsoever, and that includes caring about anyone other than whoever is wearing a crown that day. Besides, didn't you already sign a contract to do whatever King Shrewd told you to do without question forever?”

“I was nine, I don't really feel like that was binding—”

Patience grabs Fitz by the front of his shirt and jerks him forward. “Do not,” she says, “have sex with Molly. Do NOT have sex with Molly. DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH MOLLY.”

“No promises,” Fitz shrugs. “Hey, do you have a backstory other than being the ADHD widow of my deadbeat dad?”

Patience runs away crying. As soon as she's gone, Chade shows up. “Hey,” he says gently. “Don't cry. Kettricken's dad roped her into a political marriage and now she's miserable and lonely. That can happen for you, too.”

“This sucks,” Fitz moans.

“Remember not to have sex with Molly,“ Chade says as he crawls back into his wall-hole.

”Whatever. I'm going down into town to find my soulmate.”

Fitz, wearing his slouchiest beanie, his blackest hoodie, and his unhappiest expression of teenaged angst, stomps down the road into Buckkeep town, hands shoved in his pockets. “Stupid Farseers,” he mutters. ”Always hasslin' me and tellin' me what to do. What do they know? Man, nobody understands what it's like to be me.“

*Oh, you you think you got it bad, little bitch boy?*

The entire fandom erupts into cheers and applause as the character in possession of the single teaspoon of sense in the entire series arrives.

Fitz looks up, snarling, and locks eyes with a wolf trapped in a cage labeled 'ESSENTIAL NPC'. The angry little ball of fluff is just one of many wares sold by a dude in a full body fursuit. “Good morrow, emo child,” Fursuit says, oozing greasily forward. “I see you eyeballing that young cub. You know, an animal like that could really be useful if, say, you were a royal Bastard with Doctor Doolittle magic who was sent out to fight zombies a lot.“

”I'll trade you a pack of gum for him,“ Fitz offers.

”He's worth way more than that,“ Fursuit says. ”I went through all the trouble of building a rocketship for his wolf-mother and wolf-siblings so they could return to their home planet.“

*I'll kick your ass! I'll kick everyone's ass! I'll kick my own ass!!*

*'Shut up, I'm negotiating!'*

”A pack of gum AND this cool rock I found,“ Fitz bargains expertly, then kicks Fursuit in the shin, grabs the wolf, and runs off.

Fitz carries Wolfcub back up to Buckkeep, looking forward to the 'wrestling with a wild animal to show dominance' scene, but then realizes that the cub is too weak and tiny to put up a good fight. What was even the point of having a pet wolf if he couldn't have a badass fight with it and then stand shirtless against the sunrise? Also, Fitz has already had two canines in his life bond to him and then have to return to their home planets, and he's kind of tired of that happening.

*'My apartment has a no pets policy, so you're gonna have to stay in the tool shed,'* he tells Wolfcub. *'Don't wit-bond to me.'*

Then, with nothing better to do, he leaves to go do the thing Patience and Chade explicitly told him not to: Have Sex With Molly. ”The fuck is wrong with you lately?“ Burrich asks, some days later while he and Fitz are hanging out at the bar.

Fitz sighs. ”I keep trying to have sex with Molly, but things are always getting in the way of my dick," he says mournfully.

”Mm. Been there,“ Burrich mutters, pulling down his sleeve to cover up his 'PATIENCE CHIVALRY BITTERNESS AND BURRICH 4 EVER' tattoo. ”Which one is Molly?“

”The hot one that kicks people in the nuts.“

”Oh, yeah. Half my age. I like that in a girl,“ Burrich says, and everybody decides to just go with it. ”Here's my advice to you: give up and move on. Get your post-rejection glow up, and your girl will go off to marry someone else.“

”That sounds like it sucks,“ Fitz says doubtfully. “When do I finally get to have sex with her?”

Burrich grins. “That's the neat thing! You don't.”

The next morning, Fitz gets out of bed, takes a big, cleansing breath, then puts his earbuds in and turns on his Montage Song.

“Time for that glow up,” he says really loudly because he can't hear himself over the music.

'Cause baby you're a firework

Fitz wrapping measuring tape around his bicep and frowning;

come on and show 'em what you're worth

running laps around the castle with Wolfcub chasing after him;

make 'em go oh! oh! Oh!

standing on one foot like in Karate Kid while Pat Morita decomposes nearby;

as you you shoot across the sky-ay-ay

Burrich taking away his AXE body spray and shoving him into the shower;

baby you're a firework!

carb-loading at the local Fantasy Pizzeria;

come on and let your colors burst

lifting weights while Wolfcub tries to bite him;

make 'em go oh! oh! Oh!

measuring his bicep again, and nodding in satisfaction.

you're gonna leave 'em all in awe, awe, awe

“I'm bored,” Kettricken sighs as she and Fitz hang out with Kettricken's entourage. “I wish Verity would get me pregnant.“

”How can you be bored with fifty people constantly offering to play with you?“ Fitz says. ”Also, ew.“

”I could be back home fighting bears and lifting sacks over my head,” Kettricken whines, “but I'm stuck here in Lamesville with these boring losers and my husband is constantly off doing Skill stuff instead of having sex with me. Lady Modesty is constantly suggesting we watch the 2005 version of Pride and Prejudice,” she adds, disgusted.

Fitz slaps her. “Your job here isn't to be butch! This castle has been a fucking sausage party for years, and the best person to Girlboss it up is you. That means making moodboards, drinking iced coffees, doing each other's nails and YES, watching the objectively worse version of Pride and Prejudice! Look at Lady Hopeful, she's unironically singing along to 'I Knew You Were Trouble'! Now suck it up, buttercup, and go watch the part where Mr. Darcy confesses his love to Elizabeth!”

“Yes sir,” Kettricken mumbles.

“Bastard, first name The?“ a messenger says as he clips through the wall. ”King Shrewd finally wants to see you.“

Fitz stands up, brushes himself off, and heads up to Grandpa's house...

#rote #royal assassin #ra abridged #fitzchivalry farseer #farseer trilogy abridged

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