#second of all GIRLIE THE ENVIRONMENT.

[clickbeetle]

i’m screaming.

i just saw a youtube short where a woman stated that feeding your pets (she said dogs and cats for some reason.. they’re feeders for lizards) things like hornworms is bad, because they’re living creatures too. so she “rescued” hornworms from a pet store and raised them into moths….. and released them into the wild…… they’re an invasive species.

[jade-jini]

“You thought so, huh?”

Aespa Giselle x Reader

Prompt: If yo thought Uchinaga Aeri was just another nerd you could torment, you thought wrong. Part 2

Genre: Smut (enemies with benefits ig)

TW: mentions of bullying but like meh. They’re mean to each other but they into it lol. Also apparently this is almost 8k words and it’s mostly plot sorry-

Being the new girl in school was never easy for nobody, even for those who gave no fucks like Aeri. New schedules. New professors with new mannerisms to learn how to deal with. New classmates (even though Aeri considered that most people were the same cliche). New scenery (this wasn’t so bad tho, the campus had a lot of nice green areas).

But besides all that, new bullies. Fuck.

Since a young age due to her good grades, her lack of interest for much exaggerated human interaction, and her glasses (like it was her Fuckin fault she was a bit blind, old school bullies fr), she had been the target of multiple brain-dead good-for-nothings. Bored, mean, spoiled brats from rich families, or psychos from low life who lacked so much in so many aspects that they live their day by day with a deep frustration. What they all had in common is that they never learned no limits and respect for others, specially for people like Aeri: So calm, quiet, and permissive of this behavior towards them.

That was, of course, until she reached her teenage years.

As puberty hit both physically and mentally, Aeri learned very fast to stand up for herself and not take nobody’s bullshit. A mean comment? Either give a good comeback that would humiliate them or completely ignore them like they mean less than the floor she was walking on, depending on what she knew would sting the bully the most. She learned to quietly study these people. People who, in some occasions even, went from her bullies to her victims.

You see, on the rare occasion that one of her bullies decided they actually fuck with her attitude and willingness to stand up for herself, there were people who even decided to teach her a bit of physical fighting. There was this specific time that one of her “ex bullies” saw her responding back to some bitchass, and when she did, girlie was not having any of it. At the time Aeri was actually on a physical advantage, but without knowing how to fight, girlie was beating her ass fr. And she tried to fight back, every time! But she failed lol. So, tired of the second hand embarrassment, they taught her a lesson or two (like actually).

Back to present time now. A new environment can always look intimidating to anybody, but to Aeri? Nah she gave not enough fucks. And thankfully, not a lot of people even noticed a new student was around.

Oh but you? You noticed her. Right away. You were sitting with your little group of girlies at lunch as per usual, talking about literally any silly rich girl shit you could think of, when you decided that you was BORED. And what do rich kids do when they’re bored? They’re assholes. As you scan around the room to see if you could catch one of your frequent victims, your eyes fell on a new face. You were taken aback by Aeri, not only by the fact that you were sure 100% you didn’t know her. But also by the fact that your chest was beating so fast out of an excitement you had yet to understand. You scanned her face, her whole figure. Her hair perfectly brushed, her big glasses, her almost completely clean of makeup skin, her black sweater covering half of her hands as she grabbed her backpack’s strap.

What. A. Loser. You thought.

But what a peculiar one. She didn’t look nervous, she didn’t look like she felt out of place, she looked like a nerd if you followed the rules but.. she also didn’t? You licked your lips and turned around to interrupt the conversation your friends were having, knowing that it probably wasn’t even as half as important as what you had to say.

“Guys, who is that?” You said, your eyes stuck to the new girl.

“Who?” Wonyoung asked you, making an o with her mouth as she looked around the big cafeteria. You pointed at the Japanese girl in line, waiting to get her food “Hm? Who’s that?”

“That’s what I’m asking, Wonyoung” you told her, doing emphasis on her name.

“Ohhh” you heard the taller girl say, followed by her giggles, making your eyes roll at your.. slow friend, to say it in a kind way. “I don’t know, I’ve never seen her before.”

“She’s kinda cute though” Ryujin admitted as she nodded to herself.

“Yeah, and clearly a total loser” you huffed.

“We just got here, how come you already detected a new nerd??” Yujin asked her friend, shock showing in her face.

“I don’t know, I guess it’s like a superpower” you said, shrugging.

“Yeah guys, y/n has a 5th sense for things like that” Yujin said, softly pushing the mentioned girl’s shoulder.

“What do you mean, we all have 5 senses” Wonyoung told her girlfriend like it was the most obvious thing in the world (which it was girl hello what’s wrong with Yujin)

“Oh not me, I’m not that smart”

“Yeah we can tell, Yujin…” Ryu murmured under her breath “but yeah, it’s crazy how y/n can find losers so fast in a crowded room”

“So, what y/n has is like, the gaydar but for nerds maybe?” Wony asked looking at nothing, and you could see her trying hard to understand exactly.

“Nooo, the gaydar works when you’re also gay”

“But y/n IS gay”

“But she’s NOT a nerd or a loser, Wonyoung”

“But she’s gay.”

“Ok but that’s not the point Wonyoung!”

“I’m just trying to make sure I’m up to date with everybody’s information!” The girlie exclaimed, pouting and crossing her arms in front of her body. Everybody sighed, and her girlfriend simply side hugged her by the waist and kissed her cheek to make her relax, which of course worked, causing a cute little smile to spread on wony’s face.

“Ew” you frowned at the cheesy interaction, staring at the couple as they were clearly in their own little bubble now.

“Right?” Ryujin said, her face mirroring y/n’s frown “Us when though?”

“What?”

“What??”

“So, what do you think about the school so far, cousin?” Rei asked Aeri as they walked down the hallway. “I know it’s a bigger campus so I hope you’re adapting well so far”

“Don’t worry about me, rei. I’m ok” Aeri answered without looking at Rei, until she realized the young girl wasn’t following her anymore. She turned around confused to look at her cousin “Whatsup? Cmon I need to get to class baby”

“I know I haven’t mentioned it but, I think it’s important that you know there’s some rich kids around here, and they can be a bit… mean, specially with new people…” the girl commented, clearly looking uncomfortable having to share this information. Aeri could tell the girl has at least been a witness of whatever behavior these assholes had.

“We both know I have experience with that and that I know how to look after myself, I’ll be ok kid, don’t worry really” the older girl said in a calm voice, patting her younger cousin’s head in an attempt to comfort and reassure her that everything will be ok. “And remember, if anybody bothers you…”

“I know I know, you’ll break their bones” Rei giggled and held onto her cousin’s arm as they keep walking. Aeri wasn’t yet familiar with where all her classes were, so as a good cousin, Rei would walk her until she felt more familiar with the whole place. Thankfully she made it a few minutes earlier to class, also giving her cousin enough time to get to her own room.

As they got inside the classroom, Aeri noticed how her eyes would go to a specific row of seats, her body language letting her know that the girls sitting there would make her feel uneasy. She didn’t need to hear anything else to know why her cousin felt the need to warn her earlier.

And surprise! guess who was there? Yup. Your ass, sitting just two seats behind Aeri. It wasn’t her first time in that class, but you had missed the past two lessons so you didn’t know she was there too.

“Look who we have here…” you murmured to yourself, as you saw your new classmate entering the room with another girl that you recognized as some sophomore from a different department that you’d mess with from time to time. They seemed close, so you quickly wonder if something was going on there.

“What?” Wonyoung asked you, since your voice was too quiet for her to know what you had said.

“Nothing nothing” you dismiss her with your hand, making the girl shrug it off and go back to her nails.

“See you later, cousin. Text me when you’re done.” You heard the younger girl said to your classmate, who only nodded and patted the girl’s head before letting her go.

“Cousin, huh? Interesting” you whispered to yourself again.

“Schizophrenia…” Wonyoung whispered as well, in a little singing voice, looking at you with concern.

As class passes by, you somehow managed to switch seats with the classmate that was behind Aeri. Not like you gave him much option though, after threatening to burn his hair with your lighter.

You didn’t know why, if it was out of boredom or something else. You just couldn’t wait for the chance to mess with the new girl. I mean, it’s been what? At least more than one day since she got there right? And you STILL haven’t introduced yourself?! Unforgivable. You knew how to start, your childish ass was gonna tease her a bit, and if she said something or reacted in any way, you’ll let her know her fuckin place. You learned her name: Uchinaga Aeri. And you confirmed she didn’t only look like one but she was, in fact, a nerd. This after seeing the advanced books in her bag, the cornily organized notes she took, and how she had a more than perfect answer to any exercise the teacher would ask. It was almost disgusting how smart she was.

“Teacher’s pet…” you murmured not to subtly. This earned you a hard look from the professor (which you responded with a fake pout), and Aeri looking at you and rolling her eyes, now recalling what her cousin mentioned earlier. She just had a tiny hope she wouldn’t encounter no asshole in a class she actually enjoyed.

Knowing she somehow had acknowledged your presence made you excited in someway. Next step? … well you didn’t know, probably something basic like throwing pens at her. And so you did. For 5 minutes. The first two times she just looked at you, silently warning you. This was just too funny for you tho, what was she gonna do? So you continued. By the time the rainbow was outta whosever bag of pens that was, she turned around completely and looked at you.

“Do that one more time and I’ll make sure you deepthroat that entire bag of pens, ok?” The girl in front of you said, such a calm but firm tone that caught you so off guard at first, second, and third. The fact that Aeri was fearless about threatening you like that left not only you but the classmates that heard it (including Wonyoung) speechless. The latter gulped, she had never heard nobody talking back to her friend like that since they were in kindergarten. And the kid who did it ended up expelled from school. To this day nobody knows what happened to him-

“Alright ladies, let’s avoid trouble please, class is almost over cmon. Uchinaga, y/l/n, focus on the board.” The teacher said, trying to de-escalate the situation.

One silent cold stare before fixing her posture was everything Aeri gave you for the rest of the class.

“Hey! those were MY scented rainbow markets!” a guy said.

“The only ones with fruity smell here are you and your boyfriend, Mark. Shut the fuck up.”

“Hey, asshole. Give me my notebook back.” You heard a voice behind you say, as you turned around and saw Aeri, you scanned the empty hallway, wondering who tf she was talking to ‘cause it couldn’t be you, even though you knew damn right it was. You had taken her notebook from her bag as revenge for talking shit. You had planned on blackmailing her with it, however the fact that she straight up insulted you was the only thing catching your attention at the moment.

“Excuse me?” You started, throwing her notebook to the floor, you were ready to pick it up again and slap her with it tho “Who the fuck do you think you-“ and got interrupted by Aeri’s hands on your shoulders.

“No.” Aeri said, pushing you against the lockers a bit too hard, making you groan and causing your bag to fall off your shoulder “who the fuck do YOU think you are?” She asked, looking intensely into your eyes. That’s when you realize she was taller than you. There was barely any difference, but you felt so small now. Her closeness and stare making you shiver. Were you scared? Of a nerd?! No way. But what type of nerd was this tho?! Girlie was intimidating as fuck. “Don’t make me say it again, girl. Don’t fuck with me.”

A silence appeared filling the air, you were impatiently waiting for something to happen, worried about Aeri’s next move. Only thing she did was to pretend she was gonna hit your face with her fist, making you flick, which caused her to giggle “it’s like seeing a pathetic scared puppy. What a case” and just like that, she got her notebook from the floor and started to calmly put it inside her bag.

You didn’t know why you couldn’t move, but it felt like you were waiting for her to give you permission. Once you realized this, you slapped yourself mentally, ready to leave this stupid and surreal situation. That was until she grabbed you by the shirt and slammed you against the wall one more time, not even looking at you.

“You don’t move until I say so”

“What the fuck Uchinaga, let me-“

“You don’t move until I say so.” she repeated grabbing on to your shirt so tightly that the friction was burning your neck “got it?”

And you couldn’t do nothing but gulp and nod.

The following days were a rollercoaster for you. The new girl that you assumed too soon was going to be just another victim turned out to become some sort of rival? A rival who had advantages both physically and mentally. She had better comebacks. Better insults that would leave your mind blank. Fuck, she even hits harder. You see, Aeri had found a lot of fun and pleasure on catching you off guard by slapping your head, making you drop your books, or pushing you with her shoulder when she was walking by. Sometimes you’d tell her off, reciprocate her bitchy attitude. Sometimes you would just let it be. Your friends were shocked at first, but then just processed it as some rivalry, because Aeri became sort of popular around for her strong attitude. You started to experiment a bunch of new things with all this situation.

But the weirdest one was probably how much this turned you on.

Aeri was mean to you. Most of the time she wouldn’t even wait for you to provoke her, she’d just straight up feel like messing with you. She was meaner to you than you were to her, ‘cause now you’d barely start it. Now it was you responding to her shit. You were confused, lowkey scared sometimes. And horny. It didn’t help that she seemed to have a big love for tops that were tight on the chest zone, making her chest stand up. A lot. You would fantasize about her so much, even when she was hurting you, daydreaming about these mean encounters ending in something else.

Honestly, even Aeri was confused as to why she enjoyed messing with you. Maybe it was for some kind of general revenge? She was a nerd but she had the balls to stand up for herself, which others didn’t have. And you were just some asshole, so, deserved? She thought so.

So on another casual day, you were walking to meet your friends at the parking lot, when Aeri once again caught you off guard, pushing you inside a bathroom (conveniently empty for the plot).

“Hey loser” she said, as she harshly pushed you against the wall like she’d always do.

“You know, it’s quite weird how you” you pointed at her “are the one calling me that. I never even got the chance to call you that to begin with.”

“That’s because you decided to be lame and call me just ‘Uchinaga’. So basic”

“Don’t you also call me by my last name sometimes?” You reminded her, as to which she just rolled her eyes. You smiled, one point to you.

“Whatever. I’ll make this short, you and your assholes friends better stop bothering my cousin. ” You looked at her confused. You remembered her cousin Rei, but you haven’t seen her (or probably yes but didn’t pay attention) in a while, all your attention had been on Aeri. You didn’t even bother your other victims much these days.

“What do you mean? I haven’t even seen Rei in forever.” You clarified, not wanting to be accused of shit you didn’t even do.

“That jock friend of yours keeps teasing her during her cheerleading practices. Make it stop or else.” Now you understood. Yujin. Fuck.

“I think you’re confused, Yujin has a girlfriend. And that’s Wonyoung.” You told her, mentioning your well known best friend, who was the captain of the cheerleaders (what a cliche huh? Jock x cheerleader)

“Like that would stop her, please.” Aeri said with a tone full of sarcasm.

You knew that even though Yujin was technically with Wonyoung, girlie was a playgirl and while she wouldn’t (or hasn’t so far) cheat on your friend, you wouldn’t be surprised if she was going around flirting with girls just for the ego boost. And ‘cause she doesn’t know how to think with the head on her shoulders rather than the one in her pants. However, she was a grownup, what the heck was Aeri expecting you to do?

“Well even if it didn’t, I’m not the boss of her, what do you want from me?”

“I don’t know, and I don’t care. Make sure she keeps it in her pants, or I’ll cut *it* off.” She said, remarking the word. “Plus don’t play with me, your friends or fans or whatever they are, they listen to you. And you know it.”

“Well, even if they did, why would I do you that solid? What’s in it for me?” You teased.

“How about we start with me not breaking your nose, hm?” She said in a hypocrite sweet tone.

“Aw man why you gotta be so aggressive?” You pouted. But on the inside that made you a bit scared, knowing she probably wouldn’t contain herself from doing so if she really wanted to.

“Because you’re completely annoying!” She almost yelled “I’m not giving you no options here, bitch. You either do it or I swear I’ll make you choke on your friend’s-“

In her rambling, Aeri failed to notice how you were completely deaf and basically drooling looking at her chest. Her cleavage showing, her breasts looked like they were about to escape from her blouse. You were wondering how did they let her in with that. For a short moment, you even fantasized about being physically similar to Yujin, so maybe you could get this girl pregnant and maybe you could get a taste of her milk as you sucked on her tits.

“Hey. Hey do you hear me?” Aeri snapped her fingers in front of your face. You blinked a couple times until your vision went back to normal “what the heck, y/n, don’t be a perv??” You felt her hand slapping your forehead.

“What?! What did I do??” You asked her, swearing there was no way she noticed you staring even tho you almost drooled ON her.

“Oh my god, is that what you want in exchange of calming your stupid friend down?” Aeri accused, but she couldn’t deny to herself that seeing your blank face as you lost yourself in your daydreaming about her caused things on her. A little smile was in the corner of her lips, and you didn’t know if you should be scared or excited.

“You wish, I could get way better without having to move a finger, Uchinaga. Don’t flatter yourself too much.” You said, trying to act as nonchalant as possible after the girl literally caught you looking at her tits lmao however, Aeri had an idea. An idea that would make you (or maybe not, eventually) regret being so obvious.

“Hm, so, you’re not interested in any of this?” The Japanese girl slowly asked whispering in such a sensual low voice, pulling the neckline of the shirt a bit to expose more of her skin. Your eyes betrayed you, your brain did so too, as you quietly redirected your focus to her chest. “You wouldn’t like to know how they look when they’re completely out? How they feel? Or… taste?”

“Fuck…” you sighed. The view, the sudden high temperature in the room, the closeness of your bodies, it was messing with your brain so much that you had to close your legs tight, and that’s when you both noticed Aeri’s leg in between yours. The accidental friction made you slightly moan and you swore you were done dying of embarrassment. The girl in front of you found this reaction very interesting, and decided to move her leg, stimulating your sensitive zones. More soft moans involuntarily escaped your mouth.

“Does that feel good?” She whispered in your ear.

“Y-yes… fuck..” you said with a string of voice as you closed your eyes. This was so funny for Aeri, this gave her so many new ideas that she’d put into practice. Not now though, but later.

“you’re such a horny loser” Aeri laughed, creating some distance between you two and fixing her clothes “I’ll let you go before you force yourself on me or something, weirdo. Control your friend. Or is ‘Bye bye teeth’ and ‘Bye bye balls’ for her.” And just like that she left you there alone. Horny and alone.

Practicing how easily she could turn you on became a new habit for Aeri. Besides the other aggressive ones she already had. So apart from bothering you, she would now take you to the bathroom whenever she caught you off guard, tease the living hell outta you, and leave like nothing happened. The worst part is you knew you weren’t gonna get anything, yet you let her take you with her for literal nothing.

It frustrated you. So fucking much. How easy she could just do whatever she wanted, and how the rush that lasted only a few seconds felt worth it. The girl would tease you to such extremes, just to leave you like that. Angry, and horny. You needed to do something about it, and touching yourself thinking about her wasn’t enough anymore. It felt humiliating that she got you doing that. So of course, the only solution you found was going back to hooking up with random people from campus. From other rich kids with no brain, to even nerds who swore several times they hated you. You needed to do something. To prove something to yourself and scratch that need.

You were popular for your looks. Any and everybody would accept going out with you even when they knew it was just to be used as a one night stand. You knew this, and so you used that to your advantage. You didn’t want nothing with nobody, you just needed two things: the ego boost, and to relief the frustration Aeri caused. The thing was, however, that she kept popping up on your mind while you were having sex with other people. And that you made you more and more frustrated every time. It was like a need you couldn’t get rid of no matter how rough you fucked any other girl or guy. You knew you didn’t want nothing to do with her, you could barely stand her. But maybe it was the anger of how mean she was to you, the impotence for how little you could do about it. You wondered if this is how your victims felt about you. Minus the sexual tension of course… hopefully.

As you were walking one of your soon to be hookups to her class, sweet talking to her ear, you felt the familiar sensation of somebody slapping your head.

“The fuck?” You exclaimed, rubbing your head as you turn around and saw Aeri giggle as she put some stuff in her locker after her last class. You looked at her and sighed. You were particularly frustrated and angry that day; just earlier she caught you on an empty corner and to make it short, did the knee thing to you, until she had you biting your lip and closing your eyes… just for her to grab the cold water she had and spill it all over your head, leaving you shivering and soaking wet in more than one way. You told her off and even slammed her against the lockers before she left though, so she went to class with a bit of a headache. You had to lie to Wonyoung and tell her you got caught in the rain.

“But it wasn’t raining today.” The taller girl said, confused.

“Yes it was, but it was at the other side of the building. This campus is so big sometimes rain doesn’t reach every part of it, wony, you know this“ok gaslighter.

“Ohhh, yeah you’re right” she said, even though she didn’t know shit. But she’d always agree with her bestie. Nevertheless, she pulled a small clean towel she always had in her locker for cheerleading practice, and quietly helped you dry your hair, which you thanked with a soft smile.

Back to present time, Aeri was in front of you, playing dumb as she fixed her glasses on her locker mirror, and you looked at her like you wanted to kill her. Your not-so-soon to be hookup stopped playing uninterested and was now worried about how you were finding the girl in front of you a better subject of your attention than her.

“Um, y/n?” Chaeryeong called, fixing her glasses as well and holding her books close to her chest “we’re gonna be late to class”

“Just go without me, I’ll meet you there ok?” You told the brown hair girl nonchalantly, not even giving her a look back.

“A-are you sure? You know this teacher is-“

“Get lost, chaery. Please” you told her, doing your best not to sound so passive aggressive. The girl obeyed, and quickly disappeared from your side. She said bye but, you didn’t notice and didn’t care. You started walking to Aeri.

“Uchinaga, hey.” You called her when you noticed she was getting ready to leave too. “What the fuck was that for, huh?”

Aeri turned around and with her arms in front of her chest she simply answered “I just felt like it, why is it that so strange to you?”

What you didn’t know it’s that Aeri was having her own internal issues. Her own battles about how she felt about you. She couldn’t stand you, she knew that. And similar to previous victims, she enjoyed annoying you. But it was never as often and as heavy as she did it with you. And the part that worried her Foreal was, that she never, ever, had felt jealousy.

Oh yeah. Aeri was jealous.

Jealous of every boy and girl who looked at you. Of every person who got to be with you. It started with her wondering “what the fuck do they see in her?!” Until she saw it too. The shape of your eyes. The trace of your lips. How soft your skin felt. She couldn’t accept the desire you caused on her. She knew she wasn’t gonna be able to have you in that way, not when you both hated each other, basically. Plus, she wasn’t yet ready to admit that what she felt was attraction. She was still in denial. So the only thing she could do, was bully you. It was the only way of touching you, of being close to you, of having any control over you. Aeri needed to relief the frustration you caused on her as well. But her way of doing it was to do it on you. Like this. Enjoying the fear she saw in your eyes, the trembling lip when she had you under her, and the bruises in your skin when you guys fought. And every time she saw you with another one of your hookups, it was yet another trigger.

“Why don’t you start feeling like leaving me alone already? I’m tired of your shit dude.” You told her on a serious tone. This just made the girl in front of you huffed (‘cause not a chance bro), but it also caught the attention of another classmate of yours.

“Why don’t you just leave her alone, y/n?” You heard Mark said, and you sighed and rolled your eyes on an exaggerated manner.

“Man, who the fuck asked for your opinion, Mark?” You told him, hoping he’d just shut up. You knew you couldn’t bother HIM much, you basically grew up with this guy since he was the son of one of your father’s business partners, but oh my god one day he was gonna get it.

“Y-you’re always bothering Aeri, what has she ever done to you?” He asked, as if he was unaware of the well known rivalry you two girls had. And the advantage she always had.

“Fuck off, Mark” you said, annoyed by the guy’s presence, walking slowly closer to him. He quickly backed off, scared you’d hurt him. Noticing this, Aeri got in between you two. Not because she was trying to defend the guy, but because she wanted your attention and he was stealing the moment.

“You’re such a bully, y/n” she said, looking at you with some sort of fake disappointment. “Leave him alone”

“Thank you Aeri” the young guy said, as he fixed his glasses.

“No but fr fuck off, Mark” the Japanese girl told him, and his smile disappeared in fear as he grabbed his bag and left you two alone. As you saw him walk away, you quickly felt a hand pulling you by your uniform’s tie. Aeri was walking you by it like a dog. Man, you knew you should’ve listened to Wonyoung when she told you to get those fake detachable ones instead.

“Bathroom. Now.”

Aeri didn’t need to force you into the bathroom anymore, you started to simply obey her from time to time whenever she told you to do something. She told you to sit down in class? You did. She told you to not move until she says so? You didn’t move a muscle. She told you to follow her? There you went with her. You’d do it with a bratty attitude sometimes! But you’d still do it, and she enjoyed this oh so much. There was something about knowing the power she had on you that made her feel crazy. Crazy over you.

“What did you even bring me here for this time?” You asked her annoyed. You were really not having it today.

Your question caught her off guard. She actually didn’t have a reason, she just didn’t wanna see you with somebody else right now. She knew Chaeryeong would probably come back to get you, ‘cause even when she played hard to get, it was obvious how much she drooled for you. And if it wasn’t her, it was gonna be any other side hoe you had, or your friends, or anybody else. and that, that she wasn’t having today.

“Did you tell your friend to leave my cousin alone?” She confronted you, not even sure if this was still an issue that Rei had. You sighed heavily, closing your eyes.

“Jesus, Aeri, I told you. I’m not the boss of her. I can’t tell Yujin what to do. If she wants to fuck your cousin, she will.” You spat, losing your patience more and more. Aeri slapped your head.

“Watch it. Don’t say those things about her.”she said, not happy about the idea of your friend even near Rei.

“I’m sure that kid is old enough to say yes or not about getting some dick, stop cockblocking everybody.” You told her, making her more upset. She really didn’t like the way you were expressing about Rei.

“I told you to watch it.” She slapped your head one more time and that was it for you. You grabbed her shirt tight and pushed her against the wall, making her groan.

“I’m so tired of your bullshit, Aeri.” you said in between teeth. Both venom and lust emanating through your words. It made Aeri shiver, you could hear her gulp. It was the first time you see her somehow scared of you. Quietly expectant of your next move. In any other occasion, it would’ve made you laugh seeing her like this, unable to move ‘cause of how hard and steady you were grabbing her. But you were so deeply frustrated and tired of her shit today. And seeing her like this, with her big eyes looking at you like that. Now you kinda understood why Aeri enjoyed annoying you so much, if this is how you looked when she did it to you.

“W-what the fuck, y/l/n” she said, her voice betraying her letting her stutter how she never has in years “let me go or else-“

“Or else what, Uchinaga? You’re gonna hit me again?” You dared her. Then, an idea popped up in your head. Without leaving much space between you two, you turned her around making her face the wall. Suddenly, the ring bell rang. “Oh, you know what that means. Class started. So nobody is coming here any time soon, dear classmate.” You giggled.

“I’m so serious right now, y/n. If you don’t let me go I’m gonna break you something”.

you hummed, untying your tie and holding her wrists together, tying them behind her back. The girl was softly struggling and cursing at you, but let out a long groan when you pulled her hair back.

“I’d like to see you try that now” you teased her with a sarcastic tone. As you forced both of you inside the biggest stall, you continued speaking “I’m so frustrated, so tired of you, Aeri. The only thing you do, is make my days miserable. You come here, you bully me, you hurt me” you said, pulling her hair again, making her let out another groan, to then close the door. “and yet… I can’t seem to be able to stay away from you, can I?”

“You being an overly horny fuck is not my fault, y/l/n.” The Japanese girl spat “maybe if you didn’t go around everybody here like a blunt, you’d learn to control that”

“If I go around like that so much, it’s ‘cause I’m trying to relief my stress and anger, so I don’t beat the shit outta you for making my life harder, you asshole.” You told her, grabbing her neck, and once again having her against the wall.

Aeri gasped at the feeling of your hand against her throat, both in fear and excitement “We both know that whatever you wanna do to me right now, it has nothing to do with beating me, you perv.” she said confidently. Aeri wasn’t stupid, she could see the desire in your eyes, behind all that rage. All that hate. She saw the reflection of her own soul. How you didn’t want her, but needed her just as bad as she needed you.

As you stared deeply into each other eyes, you couldn’t contain yourself anymore. Softly closing your eyes, you leaned in to capture her lips in yours.

Aeri was expecting that kiss of course, but yet she could feel the air abandoning her lungs in surprise, shock in her face as she felt your lips moving against hers. She wasn’t expecting it to feel like this. To feel this good. And you were praying it wouldn’t feel this good, ‘cause you knew how addicted you were going to be from now on.

As you didn’t feel her respond to the kiss, you backed off, but she didn’t give you the chance to even catch your breath as she leaned back and kissed you again. Deeper. Desperate. And more passionate this time.

Aeri could feel you moan in her mouth as she started to take control over the kiss, surprising for a girl who’s the one tied up. You rested your hands on the wall, on each side of her body as she started to leave kisses on your neck. The sounds you let escape and the vibrations of your throat motivating her to leave more and more bruises on your neck. “Lets see how much your hoes like to see this” she said. You weren’t much of letting anybody mark you up like this, but anything was and probably will be an exception if it was Aeri.

“Fuck, it’s so hot in here..” you murmured and started undoing the buttons of your shirt. Aeri explored your body with her eyes, cussing you for not letting her do it with her hands. She bit her lip, feeling her own body temperature raise.

“Are you gonna help me with mine too or what?” She ordered, and your hands quickly traveled to her buttons, opening her shirt but not removing it. Instead, you unclipped her bra as well, freeing her breasts. And oh my god they were nothing but perfect to your eyes. Your mouth opened, a moan escaped, you looked up to her, trying to read her expression. Aeri was biting her lip, containing a smile.

“How long have you been wanting this, fucking perv?” She teased, and you clicked your tongue.

“Don’t act like you didn’t want it too, you’re such a constant tease there’s no way you haven’t been fantasizing about this.”

“You’re crazy if you think I actually wan- Ahh.. fuck~” the feeling of your tongue against her nipple made her choke on her words. The warm sensation making her lightheaded. Aeri’s boobs were sensitive. Very sensitive. And the way you were sucking, licking, kissing them, like you’d die if you didn’t treat them right, she was melting right there and then.

“They’re so perfect…” you whispered in between kisses, lost on your own pleasure. From time to time you’d go down and leave kisses all over her stomach, quickly going back up to treat her chest until her nipples were red. The desperate moans Aeri was letting out were telling you she was ready for more. So you turned her around once again, and got your hands under her black skirt, the feeling of her bare skin against your hands making your palms itch on anticipation. You took the edge of her underwear, and slowly took it off, removing it completely and keeping it in your pocket.

You hiked her skirt up, enjoying the view of her bare ass. You couldn’t contain yourself, and spanked her. Hard. The sound of your hand against her skin resonated loud on the empty bathroom, but her gasp and cry were louder. You did it once again.

“That fucking hurt, you idiot…” she said, her voice now a tiny bit weaker ‘cause of everything you were doing to her. You gave her another slap, making her squeal.

“That’s what you get for hitting me all the time.” You told her, and continued to slap her ass.

The thing is, Aeri couldn’t deny that she was enjoying the pain mixed with pleasure of the rough contact. She liked it like that. If it was you, she loved it like that.

Once her skin was looking red you stopped, and contemplated the girl in front of you. You couldn’t believe you had her, your rival, your bully, like that right now. Her body so exposed, her hands tied up.

"Are you gonna fuck me or you're just gonna stare at me like a fucking idiot until all classes of the day are over?"

And yet, still in so much control of it all.

Noticing how you were almost drooling as you stared at her body with your mouth open, Aeri rushed you. Also because you guys were still in school so, you didn’t have all the time of the world. You got back to reality and shook your head.

"Why don't you stfu?" You asked her, looking at her eyes with anger wrapped in Lust.

"Why don't you fucking make me, asshole?" She replied, knowing the more she pushed, the more she probably was going to enjoy this.

“Oh my fucking God” you sighed, and pushed her own panties inside her mouth. You knew that if she could talk, she would be cussing you hard.

You knew she was right, you guys didn’t have much time left before class was over. So, you got on your knees and opened her legs, observing how wet her pretty pussy was. You needed to tease her, you couldn’t help it. The tip of your tongue started going everywhere but to where she needed you the most. You could feel her body twitching in anticipation, and you couldn’t help but giggle at this.

“What is it, Aeri?” You asked her from your position. She let her panties fall from her mouth to talk.

“What are you doing? I told you we don’t have much time. Or is it that you just don’t know how to use your mouth for nothing but to talk shit?” The girl said, trying to get on your nerves. And achieving it, your smile disappearing and turning into an upset expression.

“You know what? Fuck you. You don’t get my tongue today.” You told her, getting up. Her expression completely changed, almost to a scared one.

“What?! You can’t do this to me, not after teasing me like that.” She desperately said, almost laughing in disbelief.

“Ahhh, how does it feel bitch?” You told her, giggling at her reaction. You took her panties and put them inside her mouth once again before she could start arguing again. “Trust me, I know how to use my mouth on good things, unlike you who only use yours to give me headaches.” And like that, you went back to her knees, and started teasing her with your tongue again. This time though, it was her asshole.

This caught Aeri off guard, you could hear her gasp each time you licked her hole. This was new to her, and she didn’t know how to feel about the fact that she was enjoying it.

She gasped with every bite you were giving her cheeks, enjoying the sensation. Her gasps quickly turned into moans, her eyes rolling as you began to tongue-fuck her ass. Aeri had her face against the cold wall, hoping it would help with the high temperature on her now red face.

As you teased her hole, you also kneaded her ass. You’d leave spanks from time to time, listening to the Japanese girl gasp and whimper as you caught her off guard each time.

“Your ass is so sexy, Aeri. I love it” you said leaving yet another spank. The way you said her name wasn’t helping the girl, it turned her on more. It played with her mind, ‘cause why did her name sound a million times better when you were saying it now?

You decided to give her clit some attention too, but with your finger. The stimulation on both sides making Aeri’s head completely shot down as she fell prey of the pleasure you were giving her.

“Hhmgh.. y/n.. more…” you heard her say very muffled since she still had her mouth stuffed with her own panties. You almost couldn’t tell what was it that she said, but she was backing her ass against you more and more, letting you know her wish.

You decided to switch the game, turning her a bit so you could finally give some proper attention to her clit. Before this, you spat on your other hand’s finger, and put it inside Aeri’s asshole. The sudden intrusion, with now your tongue making circles and leaving short, quick repetitive licks on her clit, made the girl‘s moans hit two octaves higher. You were fucking her hard, fast. The movement of your hand almost matching the fast pace of your tongue.

“More.. more…” you heard the girl basically beg, encouraging you to go faster, rougher. And so you did. Fucking her ass and tasting her pussy so good that your wrist was starting to hurt but that wasn’t gonna stop you until you had her making a mess on your mouth, coming hard until her whole body was shaking. “Oh fuck.. y/n.. coming.. so close, please~” she moaned.

“Come for me, c’mon. Just for me.” You told her, and just like that, Aeri came undone. A loud, deep moan, feeling so good and intense that it had her sobbing. As she came down from her climax, you had to get up and hold her ‘cause her legs wanted to give up.

“You.. asshole…” she whispered in such a weak tone, her head resting against your chest as her eyes wanted to close. You couldn’t believe that even in this state, even after fucking her dumb, she was still capable of insulting you. But she looked so fragile, she sounded so tired. You couldn’t do nothing but to smile and help her fix her clothes. Of course you untie her first.

“C’mon, don’t fall asleep now. We have class” you told her, knowing damn right neither of you were going back to any classroom.

“Are you insane? I’m so tired I wanna pass out..” she said with a pout. This was such a weird and new side that you’ve never seen on her, that nobody has even seen on her. But it was probably ‘cause of how sleepy she was, so you said nothing yet. You decided to tease her when her brain was working again. You grabbed your and her things, and carefully help her out of the bathroom. You guys walked (her holding onto you for support) to your car, and you decided that the only place you could go now was your house. Aeri needed to rest, and you didn’t know where she lived, plus if you asked Rei, it would be too much drama, whether you lied or tell the truth (which you never would).

“Where are we going?” Aeri asked as she started to fall asleep on the passenger seat.

“Home, we’re going home” you told her.

“Hmm… dumbass.” She softly said as she passed out, her lips turning into a pout. You simply giggled and shook your head.

“You’re such a pain in the ass. Yet, I can’t believe how weak I am for you. And you’re a dumbass too, by the way” you spoke to her sleeping body.

You let Aeri rest on your bed for the rest of the afternoon. It was such a weird view; you almost never bring people to your own place, you just don’t like it. But you couldn’t believe you had your own rival napping there while hugging your favorite pillow, after having sex with her.

It was a nice view, though. And you thought to yourself that you wouldn’t mind having this one girl on your own bed every night.

If it was hard to stop thinking about Uchinaga Aeri before, now it was gonna be impossible.

[depraved-love]

Halloween Special

Alright pulling an allnighter to finish this but frick that. For once i'm actually writting it with more fem!darling focus so warning of that ahead. Welp enjoy your horny OBT inspired yandere lady.

Yandere Fem Spider Hybrid X Caretaker Darling

TW: monster-fucking, dubcon, sadism, masochism, bondage, Hematolagnia

Her life wasn't much before those monsters dragged her from her burrow. But that doesn’t matter—she hates it here. The glass walls feel suffocating, the environment is fake, the food disgusting, though not as disgusting as those faces behind the glass. Tapping the glass, yelling, making faces... she hates it. And so here she is, cocooning her meal just so she doesn’t fall out of practice when the door creaks open. She gets up, ready to bite, just like the last time a "handler" tried to "look after her." A new face enters, carefully, and smiles. It looks so weak, there’s no way it’s a threat, so she just backs down and hisses. "Hehe, feisty, are you...? And pretty big... I’ll just drop off a little treat." Is it talking to her? Well, that’s new. It places something in her usual feeding spot. Again, unusual—they don’t feed her so often. It then walks away and waves. She waits a bit before coming closer to the offering. And it moves. All rationality is gone then; she just bites. She missed the hunt. It’s a pretty plump chicken, and she’s more than excited for such a treat and quickly takes it to her hide. If this face comes back with more treats like this, she might actually like them.

Another day, she’s trying to shut out the world when she hears more yelling outside the glass wall and frowns. A group of little monsters is right up against the glass, and she hisses at their antics. Then the face from before shows up. "Hey! Leave the hybrid alone! Can’t you read the signs?" The scolded younger ones grumble and back away slightly, at which point the face steps in front of them. "You can just read the sign and see this beauty isn’t too active." The little ones, angry at being stopped, turn their taunting and bothering toward the face, who does their best to tolerate them. Some sympathy awakens in her, maybe just a bit of gratitude and mischief, and she decides to "help." She walks right up against the glass, placing her hands and two of her feet right against the wall before properly showing off her fangs, almost as long as her whole head. The younger monsters quickly scatter with yelps. The face from before turns around and chuckles. "My my... I might just have to send the troublesome ones to you more often, girly." She doesn’t understand their gibberish, but that tone suggests a compliment—and maybe some live treats later.

She got used to them eventually. They were much better company than her previous handlers and brought treats, so she had zero reason to actively dislike them. Actually, she’s been liking them more and more, even letting them come right up to her hide. And so one day the face comes in with a treat and another thing... it looked almost like a hedgehog. "Hey, beauty... want a treat?" Of course she comes right up and takes the treat. Young turkey this time—neat. As she pumps it full of her venom, she feels the face touch her. She freezes. The face brings the strange object up to her head and starts running it through her hair. "Alright... no biting, got it, girly..." She stays still, feeling fury building up, and then the object pulls a strand of her hair. The next second, she has the face under her, biting their hand and giving them a warning dose of venom, expecting the usual yell of pain. Guards pull her off the handler as she hisses, quickly retreating to her hide. As the guards carry the caretaker out, she listens to see how much venom she actually gave them, but instead of yelling, she hears moans. Well, this is going to be something.

Two weeks later, the person is back... as if nothing happened. Their hand is bandaged up due to the sheer size of her fangs, but that’s it. They keep a bigger distance, but the compliments haven’t subsided. Why in the world are they here? "Hey, pretty... Don’t worry, no touching today..." She comes closer... They don’t back away. Have they always been so red when they were near her? And were they always so tiny? They always call her pretty or beautiful, but this time she REALLY likes them. "...pretty..."

She spent a few nights thinking of what the hell had been happening with them. And why the hell does she want them to touch her! And she lands on it—they must be courting her! These monsters are so damn weird, and this must be some sort of ritual. They have been keeping their distance since she "rejected" them, probably afraid of getting killed. Gods, she’s so dense! And so, the next time she sees them, she decides to try it for herself. While they’re filling her feeding spot, she creeps up behind them and runs her fingers through their much shorter hair. This time they freeze but don’t pull away, so she continues. She’s never noticed just how specific their scent is... it’s lovely. While her hands work on their hair, her other limbs start touching the rest of their body. The monsters outside the wall are speechless, and she does not want them seeing this anymore. If they’re to be her mate, she wants to mate the way her kind would and without spectators. Without too much struggle, she drags them to her hide and starts spinning a decorative cocoon around them. They’ll be so pretty in her webs. She’s about to bite them again when the guards finally reach the enclosure and separate them. She hisses and panics. Why are they messing with their mating?! They drag her out of the enclosure and towards the back. She sees her person, shaking and talking to a director while they help them get her webs off.

She’s pacing in the small holding cell, furious. The guards messed it all up! That’s her darling! Her mate! Who are they to separate them! This won’t fly! No, no, no, no, no! She’s getting out tonight. She’s taking her darling. And she’s mating them—that’s final.

Getting out wasn’t too hard, to her own surprise. A few bites did the job, and their darling’s scent was still fresh. She followed the scent down the streets of the city, surrounded by those monsters... they’re masked, though. They’re dressed in strange skins and leaves, pretending to be something different. She blends right in.

She finds them days later in a run-down complex. They’re in the shower, scrubbing themselves clean... They must be trying to get foreign scents off. What a good mate.

They regain consciousness in... a burrow? They’re wrapped up in silk with their mouth covered... and there, a 7'10" spider hybrid looms above them, her fangs grazing their neck. "...beautiful..." They try to struggle but fail. She sinks her fangs in, and the agony fills their veins. They cry and moan into the silk covering their mouth. Words are long gone from their brain. She grins and licks up the delicious liquid gold running from the wounds. "...beautiful..." She pulls them up by the silk and attaches it to the roof of her burrow, watching them writhe. She quickly rips off those skins they wear over their pretty body. They don’t have markings like her, nor nearly the same amount of hair... they look so innocent this way. She starts nibbling on their body, looking for sensitive spots, and whenever she finds one, she gives it a small dose of venom, loving the cries coming from her darling. Eventually, she finds herself between her darling’s legs, hands holding their thighs apart, two of her legs holding their hips, and all eight of her eyes fixated on her darling’s perfection. Human genitals are foreign to her, so she starts with slight licks and nibbles. Upon seeing the reaction, she clumsily adds more stimuli. Any time a bit of her venom slips, her darling cries and thrashes, only adding to their beauty. Her long tongue makes its way inside them, and they arch their back. She grins, realizing she’s finally found the right place. She starts tasting and devouring them like a five-course meal. Any time they tighten, she gives them a dose of her venom just to see the reaction. The closer they come to what she presumes to be climax, the more desperate their fight becomes until they finally come undone on her face. She laps up all of their essence and then lowers them down. They’re so perfect... She removes the silk covering their mouth, and they smile. Their eyes are glazed over with pleasure and love.

"...pretty..." "...beautiful..."

[loviingpedri]

Did You Know I Loved You?

prompt: pedri never forgot you

warnings: cursing, grammar issues. all pictures used are not owned by me. not proofread.

word count: 1735

angst, some fluff

dedicated to all my pedri girlies <3

pedri and you were inseparable. from the day you walked into his parents' restaurant, the air suddenly changed. the town seemed to sparkle in tenerife when you two were exploring the island.

"let's play football," pedri slowly kicked the ball to you.

"it's so hot outside though," you groaned at the thought of kicking a ball in the burning sun.

"pleaseee, i wanna practice just for a little bit." you knew you couldn't say no to him. the decision ended up leaving you playing with him until the moon smiled at the duo.

little did you know, the moon never smiled and the sun never glistened after that day.

———————————————————————

“so what? you’re just gonna leave?” you shouted at pedri in disbelief.

“i can do what i want. you can’t control my decisions for the rest of my life,” he sighed and sat down to control his thoughts. “you knew this was gonna happen. i need to grow my career. i wanted to be in a work environment which i enjoyed. just don’t be so self-centered right now.”

“im self-centered? i didn’t even get a warning you would leave to this big city. you knew for weeks. fer knew for weeks. you said i was your family pedro, and family doesn’t hide things from each other.” the yelling echoed through the house. it was a situation that would never be fixed.

“i cant just tell my best friend that i’m leaving in 2 weeks. it would ruin everything. if you knew, you would’ve changed my mind and i wouldn’t be successful for anything.”

“pedro gonzalez, think for one fucking second. you kept a secret that could’ve changed everything. the moments we had together could’ve been more important than anything. i just needed one warning and this wouldn’t be happening. i don’t give a shit that you want to continue your passion. all i always wanted was for us to be happy.” it took everything in your power to not leave the house after you completely lashed out on him.

you knew deep down you didn’t want him to go because he was your first love. he was your first kiss, first friend, and first person to even talk to you in tenerife. you didn’t know who he was gonna see. you sure did not want him to talk to rich girls blinged out with their designer bags. you were scared shitless of how life would be without him. he was the only person who knew everything about you and what you should do in anxious situations.

then, the tears came. would he visit you? would he ever speak to you? would he write or text you? would you ever see him again? will there be time for the two of you to be together again.

“why are you crying? come on, its not that big of a deal.” he huffed loudly, shaking his head in stress that this was not the way this was suppose to happen.

“pedri, you are leaving to the city. i dont even know if i’ll ever get into contact with you anymore. you’ll have new friends, new people to worry about, and probably gonna knock someone up while you’re at it. can’t you just let me process this for one second.” and that’s when you made a mistake. doubting pedri was never a good idea. especially about the people he loved. especially when it came from the person who he loves the most.

pedri got up and looked at you for one last time. unexpectedly, he walked out the door without a word. you sat there in tears, debating to chase him or just let him go. the sobs fully came out.

———————————————————————

2 years had passed since he left. everyday, he thought about you. “what would y/n do? what would y/n say?” he questioned his decisions by following your mindset everyday. he begged his brother to tell how you were doing. never a word budged from fer since the huge fallout spread throughout the city.

tenerife was never the same. since both lost communication, it felt like the island itself was hopeless.

you, continued to push yourself through school. showing everyone that you would do well without him was your motivation. you’ve worked so hard to prove yourself to people that you had a job offer in barcelona.

of course, you accepted the job. people were upset that their beautiful youngin was finally moving on in life. moving into your modern apartment was like a fever dream. you’ve had your doubts, but it was definitely worth it. everyday, there would be news of pedri. pedri, barcelona’s best midfielder. pedri, one of the best young players in the world. pedri, the guy who gets every spanish girl all over him. hell, a video of him was going viral for taking a girl’s number and putting it into his pocket. obviously, it was implied that he would never have a single thought about you. fuck, it was stupid to even try to reach out for him.

after sitting in your living room while trying to find something to entertain yourself that wasn’t pedri related, you decided to go out for once. there seemed so much to do in the city instead of being lazy at home. walking for ages in the wind, you finally found a small cafe to rest. ordering your latte and sitting down, your thoughts were interrupted by a boy.

“excuse me, are you y/n?” said a boy that was not too much younger than you.

“yes i am,” you nodded your head slowly before taking a slow sip. it was a little awkward considering he looked at you in shock.

“i’m sorry. i’m pablo gavi. or known as gavi. you’re the person on pedri’s lock screen. he always talks about you during practice. holy shit, i never thought i would meet you. are you visiting him?”

what the fuck just happened. pedri still remembers me? why am i his lock screen? why does he talk about me? what does he say? for a moment, you sat there trying to understand what he said. gavi, confused on why you’re frozen in time, waved his hand in front of your face to make sure you’re okay.

“oh no, i’m not visiting. pedri and i don’t really talk anymore,” you shook your head and forced a little smile. only to ease the tension of gavi’s then saddened look.

“that’s weird. he talks about you like you’re his girlfriend or something. i thought you were doing long distance,” he shrugged his shoulders. “maybe you should visit camp nou. i think he’ll be happy to see you.”

quickly, you rejected his offer. “oh no, we exactly didn’t end off our friendship in the best terms. i think it’s better if we just don’t see each other again.”

“i insist. i’ll give you my number and i’ll text you all the details.” he took his arm giving you his phone. you bowed your head in defeat and put your phone number in.

unfortunately, everyone’s eyes had been on you and gavi.

———————————————————————

the next morning, your phone was blown up in notifications. your best friend constantly texting you on how you’re viral on twitter. paparazzi snapped pictures of your interaction with gavi.

“fuck.” you mumbled before groaning in defeat. you knew you had faced defeat in keeping a low-profile.

gavi, you knew, was for sure fucked. if pedri had seen the pictures, he was definitely getting beat up.

during practice, gavi kept his best to avoid his best friend. when pedri came up to him, he quickly turned pale.

“what’s wrong with you? you look like you’ve seen a ghost.” pedri patted him on his back with a small laugh. gavi sighed in relief. he’s glad to have all his teeth and no black eye before the game.

“yeah, i’m fine.” and that’s when everything wasn’t. balde came up to him, rubbing his head and patting him.

“so, who’s the new girl? it’s all over the internet and not a word from you.” fuck you balde was the first thought that came to gavi’s head. gavi’s head was pounding. he didnt know what to say, how to react, or what to do.

“wow gavi. what other secrets are you keeping from us. let me see the picture balde.” pedri laughed even harder from the thought of gavi even approaching a girl. at that moment, gavi had to remind himself that he wasn’t 9 anymore. he couldn’t just simply run and cry his way out of this. luckily, balde only showed pedri the picture from the window. when you were facing towards him and could only see him offering his phone. gavi’s blood started to circulate again and his heart rate slowed.

“i cant really see her face, but she looks so familiar to me.” well no shit jackass. that was the girl you’ve been in love with since second grade. in fact, she’s sitting on the side waiting for you.

———————————————————————

your heart was about to jump out in any second. you sat there for two hours for them to be finished with training. each time pedri walked towards your direction, your nerves would start running around. luckily, he didnt see you a single time.

gavi texted you from the locker room that he was coming towards your direction. you never expected this to be happening. you were debating to run away, but your feet forced you to stay. you knew your mind was fighting to hate him, yet your heart convinced you to see him. even if it was the last time. finally, you heard footsteps coming.

pedri was wiping the sweat off his face. he came to a full stop. he thought he was hallucinating. he thought it was a dream. he stared at you for which felt like minutes. admiring your facial features, you sat there frozen. it was harder to read his facial expressions now. did he want you to leave? did he want you there? why isn’t he saying anything?

what felt like years, he started walking towards you. again, your nerves were still jumping. eventually, he made his way in front of you. suddenly, he smiled.

“holy shit you’re beautiful.” the state of confusion turned into love with one simple kiss. your lips connecting made the world happier. the air cleared. the atmosphere was different.

it felt peaceful.

———————————————————————

author’s note: hi everyone! i’m so glad you enjoyed my first story let’s be tourists. this is my second time i’m writing on tumblr, so im still getting use to it. i will be taking requests once i figure out how to set it up. please let me know if you have any suggestions on what i could improve on. thank you for all of the support !!! <3

[thisismeracing]

King of my heart | MS47 | Part. 21

― Pairing: Mick Schumacher x Hamilton!reader (she/her) ― Warnings: curse words, Twitter environment, mention of food, not proofread, etc, etc. Minors DNI! ― Summary: After the Qata GP Yn and some friends decide to go on a mini vacation before the next racing weekend, but different from other times she keeps her phone close and makes sure she’s sharing how things are happening through her lenses. ―  A/n: none of the pictures used are mine, they are all from Pinterest and other apps. Everything else is made up by me, and I do not allow it to be published on a different platform. I would appreciate it if those things could be taken into consideration 💛

⁕ part 20 | series masterlist | part. 22 ⁕ my masterlist | my taglist here ⁕ Support my writing by reblogging, and leaving me a message 🤍

theofficialyn

liked by pierregasly, gina_schumacher, and others

theofficialyn qatar dumpppp 💙

view all comments

russellsaint yes, babe, but you're really gonna ignore the make-out pics?

⤷ schumini47 omg leave her alone!!!! 🙄🙄

lewishamilton I look good 😙

⤷ landonorris yeah and I look awful, what in the hec, yn??!

⤷ theofficialyn I am still learning, lan!!!!! 😔

swiftleclerc it's so weird seeing her and lando, like out of all the drivers she included lando on her dump?!

⤷ princessyn they're friends, she posted about him while in Miami too, there's nothing new. plus, he was on the podium

⤷ keepupwhamiltons lando is close with lewis too, I think they're friends way before we know 🤷🏼

tracklimitss IS THAT CORINNA ON THE LAST PIC??

mickyn in my head the second pic is mick, let me live in delusion, bye

sainzfrance those shoes are fireee 🔥

masoncity no signs of mase on the likes 👁️👁️

⤷ chelseablues this is so weird, get a life (I'm curious too, lmk if he shows up)

mickshoemaker I am so relieved to see she's posting, for a second I thought she would deactivate after those pap pics

franciscac.gomes linda! 💗

mickschumacher

liked by lewishamilton, jackdoohan, and others

mickschumacher been ridin' harleys in Hawaii lately

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gina_schumacher I look cute 🥰

⤷ theofficialyn you’re always cute 🩷

⤷ pierregasly franciscac.gomes where are you to comment I look cute too?

⤷ charles_leclerc pierre looks cute too!! ☝🏻

⤷ grandmonza they're so funny omg complete chaos LOL

pophamilton SOFT LAUNCHING YN FINALLY!!!!

mickandyn I prayed for moments like this

mercmick I love how it's really a dump, there's no color aesthetic behind, just the pictures ❤️

lewishamilton out of all the pictures?

⤷ theofficialyn shut up, I was the one who chose it 🥺

⤷ moonsainz OMG SHE CHOSE IT WDHSKJHKLSDFHJKJHF

ferrarihoax where are the girlies who were saying Yn was dating mason?? LOL

franciscac.gomes wait for meeee, I'll get there tomorrow 🫠

⤷ theofficialyn I'll include you on my dump, kika 💗

⤷ tsunodaalpine I love how she's interacting with every comment as if it was her own post

mercedesamgf1 see you guys on Thursday! 🫡

malibucyrus I understand the fuss with yn and mick, but can we also appreciate how yn and gina are close? mickyn is literally my fav ship because you can see how there's so much love their families can't help but fall too ❤️

mickschumacher

liked yb charles_leclerc, normani, and others

mickschumacher through my eyes 🤍

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estebanocon ❤️ really happy for you, mate!

mercedesamgf1 finally!!!! 😍

⤷ alpinepierre LMAO

theofficialyn thank you for loving me the way you do 🤍

⤷ mickschumacher thank YOU for letting me love you ❤️

minimacher47 the way she’s looking at him in the second pic, that’s what we’ve been talking about. It must have been so hard for them to hide it 😭

monzaart mick, share more pics with the class, I beg you

albonno he’s such a simp

mercciado it’s over for us bitches

marvelmercedes the hold he has on her jaw, I- oop 🫦

georgerussell63 I’m gonna pretend I’m surprised ❤️

⤷ rodeoricciardo he‘s such a little shit, I love him lol

danielricciardo mick.jpg when?

theofficialyn

liked by lilyhme, landonorris, and others

theofficialyn through my eyes 🤍

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lewishamilton luv u, guys ❤️

⤷ hammertimme if they have Lewis’ blessing who are we to be against?

franciscac.gomes I’m so happy for you!!! You deserve all the love 💕

mickschumacher ❤️ you and me, always

⤷ theofficialyn always ❤️

⤷ 1dferrari crying, shaking, giggling, throwing up, grinning like a devil

landonorris 🧡

mclatas him with angie, him holding flowers, him napping omg thank you for your service, Yn!!!!

norrissza he’s really boyfriend material, I have the proof, I have it printed! *toto’s voice*

gina_schumacher 😍😍😍 officially family yayy!!

⤷ zendaya44 wdym officially? Are they’re about to marry?

⤷ charleslepole idc, whatever gina says its the law. If she’s saying Yn’s oficially family she is!! 💋

lewissunshine I can’t wait for this Sunday!!!!!!

lilyhme so precious 🩷

charles_leclerc I was so scared I would spill it by accident, finally!!!

⤷ pierregasly SAME!

charles_leclerc I love you two btw

roscoelovescoco I’s approvess 🥰

⤷ braziliangp I wonder if this was Lewis or Yn who typed it LOL

taglist: @sachaa-ff @ferrariloverr @mickslover @fdl305 @mishaandthebrits @iloveyou3000morgan @crimeshowjunkie @saintslewis @carojasmin2204 @chaoticevilbakugo @wondergirl101ks @shhhchriss @smiithys @f1kota @lunnnix @leclercsluv @baby-is-crying @karmabyfernando @crashingwavesofeuphoria @v1naco @elliegrey2803 @he6rtshaker @therealcap @mehrmonga @thatgibbsygirl @the-depressed-fellow @cixrosie @darleneslane @buckybarnessweetheart @minkyungseokie @nichmeddar

⁕ my masterlist and my taglist

©thisismeracing do not copy, steal, or translate my work. do not repost on a different media platform.

Don’t forget to reblog and leave me a comment 🩷

[briarfox13]

So after 80+ hours I've finally finished Dragon Age: The Veilguard! And boy do I have some thoughts (it's going to be a long post, sorry)

SPOILERS AHEAD

Firstly what an incredible journey from start to finish, I laughed, rejoiced and cried along the way. I loved it so much! The main story was engaging, and some of the side quests are the best Bioware has ever made.

However, I do have some criticisms with the writing and some lore. The beginning feels rushed, I wish we had more time before shit hit the fan. The faction backgrounds sound awesome and I wish we'd played those as a prologue and met Varric through those rather that tiny scene we got.

And I do wish the game was darker in some aspects. It felt weird that as an Elf I could just wander around Minrathous without a single problem, even the Venatori didn't comment on my race? Which felt off. Never thought I'd say this, but I miss the dark political plot points that the other games had (Looking at DA II here).

Expect The Blight, that was incredible, disgusting was just what I wanted to see.

I also don't like the concept of Ancient Elvhen magic being like advanced tech? I'm not fond of that. I play DA for the fantasy not the sci-fi. But that's a minor nit-pick.

But damn, Act 3? That was an explosive, incredible set of quests, and those twists broke my heart ���� IYKYK

Honestly though, it's hands down one of the prettiest game I've played since probably Metro Exodus.

The environments, the lights and atmosphere is top notch; I know it wont happen but I'd kill for an Origins remaster with this engine (and combat system). The combat is my favourite so far.

Music is pretty but kind of unremarkable, Trevor Morris' Inquisition music was a 100% times better and more memorable, they should have stuck with him.

No offence to Mr. Zimmer but all his music sounds the same to me 🙈

The Grey Wardens, my babies are back ❤️ They've been my favourite faction in gaming since Origins and I'm so happy to finally play another Warden.

The reactivity was just amazing, I felt so connected to the plot by playing as one, especially with the Blight plotlines. Declaring for the Wardens at the end made me cry 😭 In War, Victory!!

And finally some good Grey warden armour!! XD I hated DA II and DAI's armour for them with a passion XD

Emmrich my love 💚

While I think it's too short (please Bioware add more romance content, I'm begging 🥺) I haven't loved a Bioware romance like this since Garrus'. (Sorry Alistair I still love you but, you're now joint second with Emmrich)

His romance was so sweet and charming, it felt so real. And so beautifully written; as someone who finds necromancy and death in religion fascinating but the reality of death terrifying, Emmrich was perfect for me.

I just adore it so much, I'm way too attached to him and my Rook 💚🥹 And obviously Manfred my son

To let you all in on a secret, even before I booted up Origins for the first time (2015) I was originally a Solas girlie (thanks to the internet) and now just under 10 years later I am so happy to have a happy ending to his and Zephyr's story 🥹❤️

I wish they interacted more with each other, and we'd got more about Solas' love for the Inky but ultimately I am happy with what we got. After all it wasn't entirely their story.

But, what I am not happy about is the Inky's personality. I respect it's kind of a soft reboot, but only 3 choices and none of them about how the Inky was like? Zephyr would never in a million years work with Morrigan (even with her Mythal fragment). It just didn't feel quite like my girl (even though I was happy to see her).

I do wish we'd got a couple more choices when making the Inky to make them feel more ours than slightly generic.

So finally, I will say that personally I adore this game, it's not perfect by any mile but I had fun, and that's important to me. It might even be joint top with Origins as my favourite DA game!

I've always been a Mass Effect girlie, but Dragon Age is important to me too. And I'm so happy to finally see a new DA release that has somewhat succeeded.

Now I'm done, do expect Tabitha spam! I'll make sure to tag them with spoilers for those who haven't finished/played!

And to my non DA followers, I'm very sorry about my current hyper-fixation (blame the ADHD) but bear with me! I have some tasty Halo art pieces cooking in the background 👀

[acourtofsillylittleguys]

I'm literally begging all the SJM girlies to stop using AI to make fanart please

First of all, AI is HORRIBLE for the environment. The amount of nonrenewable energy it requires to run is terrifying.

Second, it's so incredibly unethical. AI relies on stealing from real actual artists and writers only to be able to "create" some uncanny valley bullshit and incoherent ramblings.

Lastly, AI is so fucking ugly. Oh my god it is truly odious. I know we all want to be able to make really cool fanart and not everyone has a knack for drawing but that doesn't mean we should be using something like AI to scratch that itch.

There are SO many wonderfully talented artists creating beautiful art of all our favorite characters! Many of those artists also take commissions and I know it would mean so much to them for us to support their art and hard work!

Next time you feel like you want some new fanart, reach out to a real flesh and blood artist and commission yourself some pretty Azriel art.

Seriously though. I don't know if I can handle being haunted by yet another handsome Squidward looking ass AI Rhysand jump scaring me on Pinterest.

[babyangelsky]

My Favorite Expressions in Love Sea Ep. 4

WHEN I TELL YA’LL I FEEL LIKE A KID IN A CANDY STORE WITH THIS SHOW!

It’s giving me so many things I wanna talk about and scream about and I WILL but I wanna talk about the expressions first because they were once again excellent. Peat officially sits at Poom Phuripan’s “I love everything you do with your face” table.

The two most dejected, disappointed men on the whole island. They’re about to be parted and they both hate it so much they can’t even speak for a few moments. (There’s something else I started to notice happening here too but that’s for another time)

Being sad isn’t going to stop Mut from teasing and Tongrak from getting annoyed, but just look at these two faces. We went from annoyance to looking like the saddest kitten ever in seconds as soon as Mut mentioned saying goodbye. Forget not wanting to say goodbye upset, Tongrak doesn’t want to say it at all.

If I saw Mut make this face after saying “I’m used to it” after I was unable to keep a promise I made to him, I would do everything I could to stay with him.

And so would Tongrak, which is why he tried again to make it work as soon as he saw it because he took that promise seriously. It was at this moment that he resolved to never disappoint this man ever.

Curiously amused with a sprinkle of hope, to sad, to putting on a brave resigned face. All within microseconds of each other to personally devastating effect.

I’m really starting to lament my lack of gif making talent. I would gif every frame of this scene if I could. I would also hit my image limit immediately if I included every face I loved in this scene so I’m moving on but! I had to include this face because it’s the face of a someone who won’t say he’s in love but who ALSO won’t let go of his menace of a man come hell or high water. Pero he’s not in love.

Sure, Jan.

Actual literal angel vs. “tell me I can’t, I dare you” vs. just-got-smacked-in-the-head levels of shock. Poetic cinema.

I loved watching Tongrak watch Mut to see what he’ll do now that they’re in a different environment. He really is so patient in such an interesting way. He’ll watch, but only for a little bit. When a boundary is so much as approached, he steps in and says something. He doesn’t baby Mut but there is very much a line in the sand for him where Mut is concerned and he doesn’t allow it to be crossed.

I see you seriously thinking about stairway s*x, Tongrak, you can’t get things by me.

We’ve arrived at the line in the sand event horizon. Although Tongrak is very patient, he does lose his patience a couple of times with Mook but he doesn’t ever raise his voice at her. He just makes a face in his vein and firmly but gently reestablishes boundaries.

Mut has been a sugar baby for less than 24 hours but already he has the expression of a man who knows he has pride of place.

Also Mook, my dear frazzled girly, if you clutch those pearls any harder your fingers are going to cramp.

We had already passed the patience event horizon when this face happened so I actually did think for a second that Tongrak was going to snap at her. He didn’t quite, he just stopped her with her full name, but to me this is the closest he got all episode.

“What are you going to do next?” Mook asked. “Eat a canary,” this expression replied.

I look at Mut like this, too.

A menace. An entire fucking menace, I want him carnally.

So does Tongrak. B*reback on the stairs.

He pictured it and had to dial back into the conversation lmao

Another moment of waiting and watching. Tongrak was about to go shower, heard what he thought could turn into Mook saying something that crossed the line to Mut, and stopped to wait and see where the conversation went before he actually went upstairs. He will not allow anyone to be nasty to his sugar baby.

*sings ‘I Won’t Say I’m in Love’ under my breath*

Throughout this whole contract scene, you can see Mut get hit with…I don’t think it’s a full bucket of cold water, but certainly a splash. I’m sure part of him thought that getting swept off to Bangkok would be more romantic and less business-like but I don’t personally read this as disappointment, although it easily could be read that way.

To me he has the expression of someone who’s had all the cards laid out in front of him, has read them, and is currently reworking his perception but who still absolutely knows what he’s about. This man has not been deterred by this contract.

A face that very clearly says, “oh I like you”. Sorry, Mook, Vivi cannot help you because she plans to help Mut win her best friend over instead.

And Mut likes Vivi too! I hope they become menace besties. Pour one out for Mook now because they aren't gonna let her rest.

Again, it would be very easy to read this as resigned disappointment and I think Tongrak does at first. I think he even wonders if he was too harsh about not believing in love but really, all Mut is doing is doubling down in his mind before he does so out loud.

One of these two men does not yet understand what they just signed up for, and it sure as hell ain’t Mahasamut.

I finally hit the picture limit but the rest of the episode is just Vivi and Mook shopping so it’s fine. This show is a feast and I am not done talking about it by a MILE.

[underground-secret]

The Hunter and the Witch~ Dean Winchester x f!reader

Description: The aftermath of injury leads to a desire for comfort.

Warning: Mentions of injury, hospitals, probably incorrect info on concussions, mentions of alleged abuse (like for a second but not in great detail), fluff. P.S: Idc if reader is coming off a little childish in the beginning, i said it before and i’ll say it again reader is honestly almost completely based off of me and something about me is that i hate hospitals. I’m a chronically ill girlie and i still despise them, every time ive had to go ive complained—it’s who i am as a person.

Tag list: @jesllianaquilesrolonsworld , @okayiamkassandra , @fablesrose , @ada--44 @bonkydarnes , @star-yawnznn

Word count: about 2k

Rest

(Master list, Prev Ch, Next Chapter)

“So where to next?” I ask as I buckle my seat, allowing my head to rest finally. I am more than happy to leave behind this apple-loving, pagan-worshiping town.

“‘Bringin’ you to a hospital” Dean answers, starting the car. I jolted up, immediately regretting the action as the pain in my head spiked and my vision wobbled. “Nooo. No. No hospital” I plead, not caring if I sounded pathetic, “I hate hospitals!”

“I wasn’t asking if you wanted to go, sweetheart” he quips. “No, please! I’m totally fine, sure I'm a little beat up but nothing a bandaid and sleep can’t fix.”

“You’re not winnin’ this one” he replies with a little half shrug. I turned to Sam, who already had the map out, and pulled open. “Sam, help me.”

“Sorry Y/N, Deans right.”

Dean sighs dramatically, “I love bein’ right.”

“Shut up” Sam half laughs, “Seriously though Y/N, you probably have a concussion. You should get checked out for a definitive answer.”

“Okay, well, Dean he was hit over the head with a gun too.” I try and deflect. Sam turns his head to face me giving me a “really?” look, “He’s also walking and talking fine, and doesn't look like he’s fighting to keep his eyes open.” I thought I was talking and walking just fine despite feeling like everything was spinning and I was doing a wonderful job of ignoring the ringing in my ears.

I open my mouth to make another retort but I don’t get a single sound out before Dean cuts me off, “If you try any of your escapes I'm callin’ your brother.” That shuts me up, I love my brother but he's very protective and will yell at me if it means being safe. I lean back against the soft seats of the car, pouting, I hate hospitals. I catch Dean's eyes staring at my lips in the rearview mirror, “You can pout as much as you want to, ‘still going.”

I know I'm acting like a child but hospitals are the worst, sure the doctors can be nice but there's so much always going on that it's just too overwhelming and they poke and prod at you. And especially as a hunter, you must make such elaborate lies just to be seen.

The dark-haired doctor removes the small yet extremely bright light from my eyes, “You have a minor concussion” she concluded after the many tests she ran, “there's not much we can prescribe you. But you need a lot of rest and to relax, no drinking or crazy activities for at least a week. You can take Advil in 24 hours if the pain is too much.” If the boys were in this curtained-off room they would most certainly say ‘I told you so.’

She suddenly looks a little nervous, staring back at the curtain before looking at me again, speaking quietly, “This is a safe environment, if those boys are hurting you I can help you.” Her eyes slipped to my wrist, of course she saw the bruises and made the connection to restraints. And so much of my appearance from the now cleaned and bandaged wound on my head to my dirt-stained clothes would lead her to that thought.

I tug down my sleeves, trying to cover them, “No! No, they didn't do anything, they would never do that to me, seriously” I insist, eyes wide. She doesn't seem so convinced, “Look” I sigh, “The person who did this is being charged, alright the cops know about all this. The boys I came with did not do this.” It was mostly a lie, of course, but the point was to clear their names, that part was true. She nods, “I’ll be back with your discharge papers.”

She pulls back the curtains, and the second she's out of sight I sigh. I know it's her job but in this case it wasn't helpful, I didn't want any further fights or complications to go on today.

….

I hold a hand up, “I don't want to hear it. Yes, you were right.” Sam’s lips curve up into a smile, “Hey I said I don't wanna hear it” I cut them both off before they could say anything. Dean swings his arm around my shoulder pulling me into his side, “Like I said, ‘love bein’ right.”

It was still early afternoon when we pulled up to the motel. It was just your regular-looking motel, with two floors of rooms to choose from with dingy lighting but I could not be more happy. We all exited the car rather quickly, it had been a long couple of days. I grab my bag meeting the boys by the trunk, Dean distributing our duffle bags. But when he gets to mine he doesn't hand it over, just closes the trunk, “I can carry my own bag, you know.”

He shrugs, “I know.” God, he was a sweetie pie. I study him as he walks just a few steps ahead of me, after everything that transpired I don't think I want to be alone. I wasn't scared per se, I just wanted comfort and I didn't have any stuffed animals packed. I didn't want to be a burden to him, he was probably tired and would want a bed to himself. But maybe I could just hang in their room for a long while.

“You okay, sweetheart?” He asks, stopping to look back at me. Of course, he could practically sense it. He places our bags on the concrete, getting close enough that I could easily breathe him in. He lifts his hands to cup my face gently, he’s been doing that a lot lately. “‘Your head hurtin’?” He was looking down at me so carefully, his green eyes softening as he watched me. I have to remind myself to respond even as my thoughts extinguish each time his thumbs caress my cheeks, careful to pass over the bruises there, “Well yes but that's not…” I don't finish my sentence not having a single idea of what I should say to him. He looks down at me expectantly, just waiting. I wanted to hug him, keep my head buried in his chest even as my head pounded like a bass playing through an amp, but I can’t exactly say that.

I sigh, “Is it okay if…” I swallow, speaking quietly, “Can I stay with you?”

His eyes widened a fraction and if I wasn't looking right up at him I would have missed it entirely. It's not like this was anything new for us, we've cuddled before while watching a movie or something and even slept in the same bed if needed for a hunt. But to ask like this somehow felt so different, so much more personal. “Of course” he answers simply, eyebrows scrunched together as if he was insulted that I would be so hesitant to ask. He lets go of my face, and I immediately miss the steadiness of it all, he takes a single step back but not before grabbing hold of my hand and picking up our duffles to hold in his free hand.

We catch up to Sam in the small lobby, two keys in his hand instead of the usual three. Was it a coincidence that they just didn't have a room I could use or did he just know? I guess it was possible he saw us in the parking lot and figured out what I would want, am I that easy to read?

….

The room was quite nice, the walls were grey with some white detailing. And the beds were big, most likely a queen, with the crisp white blankets and a tall cushioned headboard. Sam walks in first, choosing the bed on the far side of the room, which was predictable at best seeing as Dean preferred being closer to the door out of a sense of protectiveness.

Dean places his duffle on the bed, handing me mine, “You can take a shower first” he says, telling me more than offering. I swing off my messenger bag, placing it on the bed before looking between both boys, “Are you sure?” I was already intruding in their room and his bed I didn't want to take over the bathroom too. They both nod their heads, I mumble thanks before heading there.

I didn’t care to study the bathroom, just wanting to be under the hot water and wash away the dirt and feelings of the day. I turn the shower on, lifting my shirt over my head before having to stop with it halfway off of me to stop the room from spinning. I close my eyes forcing myself to relax and not sway as I stripped down to nothing.

Being naked only made my bruises look worse. My wrists were rubbed raw, painful red marks adorning each one, and my cheeks had dark bruises on them from being punched twice over the span of a couple of days. Never mind the gash on the corner of my forehead, which I’d have to bandage again after the shower, and the subtle black and blues on my side likely from being thrown to the ground.

I swallow hard, I don’t want to think of any of this anymore. I step into the rather small shower, the hot water pouring over my head and down my body taking the tension with it as it went down the drain.

I step out of the steamy bathroom feeling infinitely times better despite the spinning room and hurting head. My hair was wet and clean and felt lighter now that it was no longer dusted with dirt, and I was in comfortable pajamas.

Yes, it wasn’t nighttime yet or time to sleep but that doesn't mean a girl can’t wear comfortable clothes. It was nice to be in pajamas, wearing some white plaid pants and a loose tee with a cute little embroidered bear in the corner and of course an oversized sweater because somehow I was always cold. It was a wonderful yet small feat.

Dean’s sitting up in bed, both boys watching some football game on the small TV. I slump into the bed carefully lying my head down as I get underneath the covers. Dean seemed to study me for a moment, smiling softly, he was probably trying to assess how I felt. Whatever he was looking for he seemed to find, nodding to himself before getting up and heading to the bathroom with a change of clothes. A moment later the shower turns on.

I sink into the bed further, turning away from the TV, I didn’t care enough for sports to want to watch it anyway. The weight of the past few days catch up to me quickly, my eyelids feeling heavier and heavier.

….

The bed beside me suddenly sinks down, and my eyes flutter open being met with Dean’s familiar frame, “Sorry sweetheart didn’t mean to wake you.” I shake my head, I must have been out for just a couple of minutes, “It’s okay” I mumble still on the outskirts of sleep. He gets under the covers, his black shirt accentuating the muscles in his arms as he moves.

Once he situates himself he holds his arms open to me, silently asking if I wanted to get closer. He always seemed to know what I wanted or what I felt, sometimes I feared he knew me too well. I shift closer to him and he meets me halfway pushing me the rest of the way into him.

He practically places my head on his chest, close to his shoulder, his arm closes in on me holding me impossibly closer to him, his hand resting on my waist. His body warmth immediately reaches me, and in his embrace, any fears or anxieties I had the last few days seemed to dissipate. I place a hand on his chest feeling the steady beat of his heart beneath my fingertips. The hand on my waist begins to move slightly, his thumb rubbing slow circles into my side, my heart seems to flutter and I fear I won't be able to move on from this. It is moments like these that I find it hard to keep my feelings to myself, my love seems to bustle in my veins threatening to spill out. And with everything I have in me, I must bottle them back in, even as he places a soft kiss on my forehead and I think my heart just took off flying.

I melt into him, neither of us saying anything–not that we needed to. I can feel his rings on my side and the comforting weight of his hand there, the warmth he let off and his scent of something like pine or maybe it was wood, and just for a moment under the fog of a mild concussion, I imagine a forever like this. Being able to fall asleep each night to his hold and wake with him still there right beside me.

[waitmyturtles]

I haven't written an Old GMMTV Challenge update in SOOOOOO long, and I was just about to write a short screed compelling folks to think about taking up The Miracle of Teddy Bear, which I'm watching now for the project. I've also made some changes to the list, which I'll report below:

1) I paused Miracle for a couple of weeks to catch up on 2022's Triage, the second in a trilogy of shows by the Y novel writer, Sammon (most recently known for 4 Minutes, and better known for premiering with 2019's Manner of Death). I wanted to catch up on Triage before Spare Me Your Mercy airs, the third show in the MoD/Triage series trilogy. (Sammon has been posting on Twitter recently in anticipation for SMYM, thus my urgency in watching Triage.)

I wasn't intending on including Triage on the OGMMTVC syllabus, but I am, not even indulgently, but because I think if someone's going to situate themselves as a student of Thai BL, then this show should be watched as simply a TOTALLY REMARKABLE queer drama that plays not just with some BL tropes, but with a ton of other television tropes as well (as so wonderfully listed by @dragonsareawesome123!) TRIAGE IS SO FUCKING, FUCKING, FUCKING AWESOME, and I screamed in my liveblogs about it, so fuck yeah, I'm gonna review it soon (after I finish and review Miracle for the sake of chronology).

2) After I get reviews of Miracle and Triage out, I'll finally review GAP, which I watched this summer, and I'm glad I've given myself a lot of breathing room to think about GAP and its longterm impact, because I was gently unhappy with the show as it ended and how its script worked. I know some Idol Factory shows, like The Sign, are known for being bloooated, and I don't think GAP was bloated per se, but it was messy enough for me to think about it more critically than I expected in regards to celebrating Thailand's first GL. (It seems like The Loyal Pin is faring better by way of being a better script? But I haven't conversed with anyone about this yet.)

In any case, this breathing room, along with watching more shows from 2022, allows me to take the full step back I need to to celebrate GAP in its historical glory, notwithstanding the weak script, so that I'll do after I write up on Miracle and Triage.

(By the way. 2022 was a HELL OF A YEAR for Thai BLs. Bad Buddy ends, we got KinnPorsche, Triage, The Miracle of Teddy Bear as Thailand's first queer primetime drama, Secret Crush On You, The Eclipse, Moonlight Chicken is filmed but not aired, My School President premieres. 2023 and 2024 can only weep in jealousy, unfortunately.)

3) Finally, the real reason why I was going to put pen to paper today is that I am not done with The Miracle of Teddy Bear, and it's truly a HEFTY COMMITMENT to watch it, 16 hour-and-a-half-long episodes (meaning, 32 normal episodes) (New Siwaj drools in envy) but part of my thinking, as I start episode 12 tonight, is that I might need to compel my fellow Bad Buddy girlies to give Miracle a try.

If Bad Buddy was remarkable for existing in the no-homophobia-bubble, and using family rivalry and intergenerational trauma as sophisticated stand-ins for homophobia --

Miracle follows in BBS's footsteps as

1) not at all a BL, but a queer drama, Thailand's first major primetime queer drama,

2) a show that absolutely grabs all kinds of homophobia -- internal, external, social, familial homophobia -- by the neck, and reckons and analyzes each kind of homophobia through brilliant writing and character development,

3) a show that STILL, like BBS, grapples with intergenerational trauma, the trauma of adults coming from broken families and committing future harm on their children; as well as reckoning with the impacts of misogyny; as well as reckoning with the impacts of individuals standing up AGAINST social biases, including social homophobia, corporate demands against the environment, interactions with the police, so so much, and

4) a show that STILL commits to realistic development of romantic bonds among multiple couples, using flashbacks intelligently and sensibly, and leveraging romance often to sensibly lighten heavy moments.

I'll let y'all know how I fare as I get to the show's end, but let me just say at this point in time, before I dive into the show's last five episodes, that at least contemplating a watch of Miracle will be utterly satisfying for folks looking for incredible watches as we plod through a few mediocre shows at the present moment. I didn't think it would happen in the course of this syllabus, but I think Miracle is going into my top three of all Thai queer dramas I've ever watched, with Bad Buddy and He's Coming To Me at the top of that list.

[jiraisupportgroup]

Hii I'm new to jirai kei n recently I joined a group where there's a lot o jirai / landmine ppl! I was asking some questions abt how to go for the fashion part of the subculture and one of my main questions was "is there any thrift store I can go to? Can I customize some clothing to make it look jirai?" And what I got as an answer was "No. Jirai ppl only use branded clothing, you can buy it second hand but you cannot customize in any way".

Tbh I'm not in a good place economically rn and I don't have a job either, so I'm not sure what I should do. Importing clothing costs 6 times more cause of where I live.

Is it really a rule that jirai / landmine can only wear branded clothes? (Liz liza, honey wardrobe, dear my love, etc)

I know I fit in the jirai lifestyle but I wanted to fit in the fashion too T--T

Thank you for your time♡♡ asking anon cause it's for me and a frien ^^"

I would once again like to preface this (as I preface all things) with the fact that I could entirely be talking out of my ass - this is just my opinion - and I am not a spokesperson for Jirai Kei or other mentioned subcultures / fashion styles as a whole.

I wholeheartedly disagree with that but also I will caveat that with the fact that I spent most of my teenage years in menhera / goth / emo / grunge spaces and those are very DIY-heavy subcultures. I'm also super relaxed about how people choose to label themselves (to the point where I barely claim to be in any subculture because I just don't want to bother with labels so I'm probably not the best person to ask haha~)

To me personally, this feels like an argument that someone coming from Lolita would make? I kind of see a link here in the sense that the two main reasons I think people say these things about Lolita are because it is really hard to make Lolita clothing and buying lolita knock-offs is generally bad for a whole slew of reasons. Similar arguments for both subcultures I think.

Girly kei / dark girly clothing can be really hard to make or DIY. I think it is certainly very possible to do, but it might take some trial and error. Mostly because being a bit over the top is kind of the aesthetic; there are a lot of ruffles and bows and lace and ribbons and buttons and cute little accessories and cut-outs and the neckline is typically very specific with decorated collars. At its base, it is just a blouse, but it's got a LOT of aspects that go into it, and if it's "too basic" then you're not really hitting that girly kei style. The skirts too (I personally think the skirts would be a little easier to DIY but I also have experience sewing with lace / grommets & making corset ribbon designs which is mostly what stands out from them to me?) You also run into a lot of the actual hardware being specific with hearts being a really common theme for belt loops or buttons, and decorated suspenders.

I think it would be difficult to DIY girly kei or dark girly pieces but it's certainly doable. One issue is that depending on where you're getting the materials for that DIY, it might be about the same cost (or more) as just buying a blouse (although this depends on shipping cost).

The other aspect of it is the argument against fast fashion which is a little more nuanced in Jirai Kei but I see where they're coming from? I mean, to be frank, ryousangata is literally "massed produced" fashion (& to be fair the aesthetics that are labeled as “ryousangata” have varied a lot over the years - it’s not just frilly blouses & stuff that’s just kind of what it happens to be right now). It's pretty much just fast fashion. MA*RS, Liz Lisa, & DearMyLove from what I can tell are mostly produced in Japan, although they do source materials from China, like most companies do (not automatically or necessarily a bad thing imo - but I will spare you that side rant bc it’s kind of not related). I couldn't find a lot of information about their production practices? So I'm unsure about worker environments for them? Generally, the big-name brands are going to be more ethically sourced & produced than random AliExpress sellers but by how much is kind of questionable (or at least I could not find a lot of information about the production processes so I'm not sure by how much - if anyone has additional information on this I would love love love to hear).

Now am I saying "Go buy a bunch of fast fashion off of AliExpress because it's cheaper and no one cares"? No. (It's also honestly not much cheaper.) But the reality is that it generally is fast fashion, so it's a weird balancing game. I think one of the main reasons people say "only buy Liz Lisa / MA*RS / DearMyLove" is because they want to avoid fast fashion as much as possible while participating in a fashion with a LOT of fast fashion sellers, and since it can be difficult to find production information they go for the big names because they're easier to trust in that aspect. (I also have fallen into this trap & have sworn my life to DearMyLove because they're the only big-name brand that is even slightly 6-foot-tall-bitch friendly T-T)

All of that being said, if you want to attach some bows and lace to a frilly blouse and call it girly kei I am absolutely not going to stop you (or honestly even judge you, but again that's just me). The shipping costs are part of the reason why I say the clothes are secondary to the jirai kei subculture especially as a foreigner because once you consider that the clothing is significantly more expensive and difficult to obtain in foreign circles it becomes directly contradictory to some of the reasons why those same clothes are so popular in the Japanese subculture: I don't think the cultural context of the fashion translates over to foreign markets (economically or socially, but I'll spare you that entire rant lol).

ALSO! Jirai Kei Subcul is awesome and has a much more obtainable aesthetic for foreign markets. It leans more into punk and you can use a lot of different pieces for it that are more easily obtainable, so I highly recommend looking into it. It might be a good medium for being able to feel fully like you belong, but not breaking the bank for an outfit.

[eerna]

If I may recommend a book series that is SO dear to my heart (if enjoyably silly) might I suggest the Chronicles of Ancient Darkness by Michelle Paver? It was my 'kicks Harry potters ass' childhood series, but the writing is so vivid and well researched that I truly think it's more than a kids thing. The serial plot takes off from the second book, but the first is good for world setting too. Plus, after finished the series at 6 books years ago, that mad lad Michelle came out with three more over lockdown. The audiobooks are read by Ian McKellen and are also a delight. AND NO ONE SEEMS TO KNOW ABOUT THEM!!!!

Brief pitch: post ice age paleolithic fantasy set in non specific Scandinavian environment. Author spends a LOT of time in various real life places and cultures to understand how people might have lived, so the detail is mwah. It has soft magic system, in a way that (apart from a few things) you're never sure if magic, or superstition/coincidence. Naturalistic magic maybe. Clans of people live and survive in their own different ways, until a lone boy from the wolf clan loses his father to a demon possessed bear and must find a way to stop it's rampage, with the help of a wolf cub he rescues.

Peak wolf girlie fiction back then, lemme tell ya, but sometimes the chapters are the wolf's pov and the way he interacts with the world is DELIGHTFUL. The second book onwards has a loose rpg structure of defeating major villains, and there is a magic ability that spices things up, but it's so grounded in the real world they live in you find it fits in easily. I could gush about this endlessly tbh AND. I have all the audiobooks on a drive if I may offer them to anyone interested.

Aaaww thank you so much for the wonderful rec!

[lilarus]

Sujamma Sundas

Or better yet, Moth in a Jar Morndas

simply bc i am a time traveller

As tagged by the lovely @kiir-do-faal-rahhe <3 I will drop 3-5 bits of my Vilkas lover girlie too 🤲

A little bit of background lore:

Her name is Raseyl, she is Sirestia's second oldest child (all of the kids are adopted btw), and she is the biological older sister of Misunmar. The two of them are half-Falmer half-Atmoran, their bio father Ydhesar was Falmer, and their bio mother Halfan was Atmoran.

Onto the fun facts :>

Raseyl lived most of her childhood (up until age ten) in the Merethic Era before she (and infant Misunmar) were encased in ice and put into magical cryostasis.

As a result of the trauma from the sudden cryostasis, she is extremely paranoid and cannot sit idly if she doesn't have all relavent information within her grasp. So much so that she actually kind of scares Hermaeus Mora.

She is the oc that allows me to kill a certain non-canon character we'll call Bike Store. He is a creep in my fic and deserves what hell Sires gives him <3

Raseyl and Vilkas have a 3 year age gap, with Vilkas being the older of the two. They meet when she is 16 and he is 19, they don't get together until she's in her early 20's after they do some adventuring together <3

Raseyl has a thing where she has no magicka of her own but instead draws it in from the environment around her. This can come from plants, animals, people, anything that contains magicka, she'll siphon it out, even when she doesn't want or mean to. This does not help her paranoia. Because of this, she finds that people seem to always be tired/lethargic around her after prolonged exposure to her (apart from her freak ass family that are all some sort of weirdos). Thus she feels as though she'll never be able to settle anywhere.

At some stage I'll have some art of her that I will share (probably- hopefully). I need to draw her more 🤲

Tagging @pinessydr @firebastardextraordinaire and @out-of-mana kindly hand over an oc's lore 🫵👐👏

[girltalkcollectives]

The Fear of Being Called On

Let me paint you a picture of what social anxiety really looks like, because apparently some professors still don’t get it.

There I was, second day of class, sitting in my usual spot (back row, closest to the door — my fellow anxiety girlies know exactly why). The homework was done. Actually, it was more than done. I’d spent three hours the night before making sure I understood every single detail, highlighting important points, writing notes in the margins. Because that’s what we do, right? We over-prepare just to feel slightly less terrified.

But then it happened.

“Why don’t you explain this concept to the class?”

My name, hanging in the air like a death sentence. Twenty heads turning to look at me. The familiar wave of panic washing over me — heart racing, palms sweating, throat closing up. You know that feeling when your mind goes completely blank? Like someone just wiped your brain clean? Yeah. That.

And suddenly I’m rambling. The words are coming out all wrong. Everything I studied, everything I KNEW, turned into this jumbled mess of half-formed thoughts. I can hear myself talking, but it’s like I’m outside my body, watching this trainwreck happen in slow motion.

But the worst part? The absolute worst part wasn’t even the public humiliation. It was what happened after class.

Picture this: The professor pulls me aside, looks at me with that condescending smile (you know the one), and says, “If you don’t get it together, you’re getting a 0. You need to do the work.”

Let that sink in.

I did the work.

I ALWAYS do the work.

The work isn’t the problem.

MY ANXIETY IS THE PROBLEM.

I tried to explain. God, I tried. “I have social anxiety and so I have problems with public speaking,” I said, my voice shaking. “It’s hard for me to articulate my thoughts when I’m put on the spot.” Basic anxiety 101, right?

Her response? “It doesn’t seem like you did the work.”

EXCUSE ME?

Do you want to see my highlighted textbook? My color-coded notes? The three hours of work I did last night? The sleep I lost preparing for a class I was terrified to attend?

But here’s what I couldn’t say in the moment, what I wish I had screamed: Having social anxiety doesn’t mean I’m lazy. It doesn’t mean I’m unprepared. It means my brain literally fights against me every time I have to speak in public. It means I can know something inside and out but completely freeze when all eyes are on me.

So yeah, I dropped the class.

And before anyone comes at me with “you’re letting anxiety win” or “you need to push through it” — save it. Sometimes protecting your mental health means walking away. Sometimes self-care looks like saying “this environment is toxic for me” and choosing a different path.

To my girls out there dealing with social anxiety: I see you. I see you doing twice the work just to feel half as prepared. I see you picking seats based on escape routes. I see you having full conversations in your head that turn into gibberish the moment you have to speak them out loud.

You’re not lazy.

You’re not stupid.

You’re not unprepared.

You’re dealing with an anxiety disorder that people still refuse to understand.

And to that professor: I hope you read this. I hope you realize that somewhere in your classroom right now is another girl like me, doing all the work but drowning in fear. Maybe next time, instead of assuming she’s unprepared, consider that she might be fighting a battle you know nothing about.

Because let me make one thing crystal clear: My anxiety might make me stumble over my words, but it doesn’t make me any less capable, any less intelligent, or any less worthy of respect.

I dropped your class, but I’m not dropping my voice. This is me, speaking up about social anxiety, without stuttering, without fear — because writing lets me say what my anxiety won’t let me.

And to everyone reading this who gets it, who lives it, who feels it: You’re not alone. Your anxiety is real. Your struggles are valid. And don’t let anyone — especially not some teacher who doesn’t understand mental health — make you feel otherwise. 

This is bigger than one bad class experience. This is about a system that still doesn’t understand what anxiety does to us. And I’m done being quiet about it.

[soireegurl]

Prompt 17 and 23 with Sunoo?

Warning ⚠️: Yandere themes, delusional thoughts

"Damn another love letter again huh?" Your best friend Jiwoo said teasingly while eyeing the love letter that was placed under your table.

"Aish, stop it..." You said embarrassed hitting her on her arm.

You are pretty popular in school for your good grades and good looks and of course your sweet personality.

Everyone loves you. Teachers, seniors juniors, your own classmates they all do. Whoever interacted with you will definitely fall for your charms.

Which might be a good or bad thing.

"Come on, who is it this time?" Jiwoo asked curiously.

"Jaehyun..." You whispered.

Jiwoo made a 'ohhh' face and was about to say something, but the teacher walked in, signalling that class is going to start.

"Good morning class! We have a new student with us today! Please come in!"

Everyone looked at the entrance and anticipated the arrival of the new student.

Seconds later, a cute looking boy with chubby cheeks walked in with a shy smile, he scanned around the room and stared at you for a few seconds before shifting his gaze away.

As soon as he stepped in the class went wild.

Girls were hyped over his looks while guys were judging him because he looks to "girly"

"Hello, My name is Kim Sunoo, mice to meet you guys!"

He said enthusiastically with a bright smile.

"Alright sunoo, please sit next to Jiwoo at the back. Jiwoo please raise your hand."

The teacher said.

Jiwoo is sitting directly behind you while the new guy sits diagonally behind you.

"Hello there! My name is Jiwoo! This is my best friend Y/n!"

Jiwoo being the loud extrovert of course started to interact with the new boy.

"Hello...."

Sunoo said shyly and glanced over at you.

"Hi, nice to meet you!"

You also replied him with a bright smile and initiated a handshake.

Sunoo shyly shake your hand and a red tint appeared on his face.

[time skip]

Months have passed, sunoo has slowly adapted to the new environment. But however things started to change the week after he transferred. Guys were pucking on him for getting too much attention from the girls.

Especially those who their girlfriends broke up with them so that they can go for Sunoo.

Among them, there was the principal's son Kim Jaeyong. The biggest bully in the school. He was one of your pursuers which obviously got rejected by you.

You never had any guy friends in school before, but eversince Sunoo came, you guys have been weirdly close which made Jaeyong angry, thinking that you like Sunoo. So he decided to bully Sunoo so that he will stay away from you.

"Hey! Are you not listening to me?! I said stay away from Y/n!"

Jaeyong shouted at Sunoo's face.

Sunoo has this urge to just punch Jaeyong in the face but he doesn't want people to see that side of him, especially you...

"Hey! Are you-!"

Jaeyong's words got cut by you.

"Hey, what do you think you are doing?!"

You rushed towards where sunoo was and pushed Jaeyong away.

"I was just asking him to stay away from you."

"And why should he?"

You replied harshly to Jaeyong.

"You rejected me, but are friends with this loser?! "

Jaeyong was mad

"I rejected you because I'm not interested in you! "

You said straightforwardly

"Then do you like this peach looking loser?"

Jaeyong asked.

"that's none of your business."

You didn't reply directly to Jaeyong's question and dragged Sunoo away from this mess...

However, Sunoo's mind is messed up.

"She didn't say she doesn't like me... So... She likes me right? I knew it! I knew she liked me!"

Sunoo thought to himself, not realising a small smile appeared on his face.

You bought Sunoo to a hidden place in the school and helped him treat his wounds.

There was an awkward silence between both of you.

You didn't speak because you were focused on treating Sunoo's wound.

While Sunoo was just staring at you with many thoughts in his mind.

You didn't even notice how intense Sunoo's stares were.

Suddenly, your hands were caught by Sunoo's.

You made a confused face.

"Y/n... I- I..."

Sunoo stuttered on his words.

"You?"

"I like you! No! I love you! Would you be my girlfriend?"

This is so sudden, you didn't know how to react to this.

Sunoo's eyes were glistening with hope and love.

"I-... Sunoo... I'm sorry... I-..."

You didn't what to say... You didn't want to hurt his feelings. Although you have rejected multiple people multiple time but this time it's different. Sunoo is your friend... And you only like him as a friend...

"Sorry... I'm not ready for a relationship."

This is the best you can say.

"It's... It's okay! We can wait until you are ready!"

Sunoo said with a smile.

Damn, he doesn't get it...

You don't like Sunoo romantically... It has always been just planktonic.

"Sunoo... I only like you as a friend... You understand?"

You said softly, while watching the male's face turn from happy to dark.

"...But... But if you didn't like me, why would you smile at me?!"

Sunoo said agitatedly.

???

You were not ready for this...

"Sunoo, smiling at people doesn't mean I like them... I smile at Jiwoo, Mr Kang and many people too... Does that mean that I like them?"

You tried to reason with Sunoo.

"No. No... But they said I am your first guy friend... Doesn't that mean I'm special? "

...

You didn't know what to reply, to these delusional words.

"I'm sorry, Sunoo... I think you might have understood my intentions wrongly... I only treated you as a friend... I'm sorry... I should get going now..."

You wanted to get away from here as Sunoo was suffocating you with all those delusional thoughts.

"No... No... You can't just leave like that!"

Sunoo tried to catch you but you ran as fast as you could.

But of course Sunoo isn't going to let you go like that... Not when you just rejected him...

So he ran after you.

"why did I even chose to bring him here! I just digged my own grave. "

This hidden place is far from where everyone is. There's literally no one that can help you here.

No long after Sunoo caught up to you.

He hugged you from behind and covered your mouth to prevent you from shouting.

"please don't leave me... Give me a chance..."

Sunoo begged. But you couldn't listen to any of that, you just wanted to get away from him.

So you bite him and when his grip loosen, you tried to run from him but you were too slow.

He recovered quickly and grabbed your collar and quicky hit you on your neck...

You blacked out and fell into Sunoo's arms...

"Y/n... I love you so much... You know that right...?"

Sunoo stared at you with obsession and kissed you on your forehead, before letting out a satisfied smile.

[klanceogies]

hi i have klance f1 au brainrot

i can't stop thinking about little story details and backstories like. keith's dad was in f1 before. i feel like he didn't die in an f1 crash. maybe a regular car crash. the irony of this guy who races in incredibly fast speeds to be killed by something so ordinary, in a car, but not an f1 one. and it wasn't even his fault. some drunk driver or something. he didn't die on an f1 car because speed isn't what kills you, it's suddenly stopping that does.

also still talking about keith's background, keith coming from an f1 family background makes so much sense in my mind. him being an orphan would make it basically impossible to sustain himself in such an expensive sport as a kid like that. but since he was already in the scene, and people respected his dad, he had connections and sponsors (not to mention he had always shown that he was a prodigy in the sport so people were willing to bet on him and support him and his career). he met shiro through that environment too.

he also skipped f2 like a lot of really skilled rookies, but he popped into f1 seemingly "out of nowhere" years after a controversy in his f3 days. it goes like this: james, little asshole james coming close second in that season, is a shit person. he is just fucking mean. and keith has been having a shit year. and idk if you're gonna agree with this but hear me out. shiro crashes. like badly. like career-ending crash. he loses his arm and he is in the hospital, and of course he eventually makes a great recovery, but right now no one knows it yet. they just know that at the very least shiro is never going to race again. they don't know how his recovery is gonna go, IF he is going to recover.

keith is alone. since the death of his dad, he is completely alone. so yeah keith starts to lose it a little bit. and this season has been proving harder than expected, james closing the point gap for first place. the media can't stop making up stories about him, shiro was in the hospital, he had a lot issues with his team manageament, which made his season unnecessarily harder. with all of that, keith becomes more reckless. he has nothing to lose--only the championship.

so, a race happens. bad choices are made. of course james provoked him, coming too close, crashing into him races before but not being too penalized for it. saying some very unkind things about keith and his brother, who was still on the hospital. being a little shit overall. so keith closes in on james, a similar situation as hamilton and verstappen in silverstone back in 2021 (as a max girlie this makes me pissed off but oh well). james runs into the wall. thankfully james's injuries weren't very serious, but he got a broken hand which was enough to make him unable to drive until the end of the championship.

now keith was the champion, right? without james on the next races there is no competition anymore. but keith isn't very happy. his impusiveness damaged his car, and at the very least he will get a grid penalty for provoking that accident. well, it is worse. he is black flagged (idk a lot about black flags but like. provoking a crash like that SHOULD prompt a black flag tbh). his engineer tells him he might be suspended for a few races and he LOSES IT. he really needs more mental health help cause he disobeys the black flag and is even more severely penalized. he really is suspended for the next few races, and basically, it screws everything. he finally lost everything he ever had. and maybe, in some twisted way, he felt like he deserved every single part of it. self sabotage and all of that. well, the media goes crazy because everyone thought he would be the next schumacher when he got older. he dips out of the face of the planet. no one thinks this kid will ever race again. "too unstable" some say. "he is just crazy" others mutter. with no one to help him and sponsors dropping him he is now helpless.

that year, lance won the f3 championship. which pretty much sucked. with keith and james out of picture he was the obvious third place. it helps him get promoted to f2. he was doing great already, but he still felt so undeserving. he didn't beat james nor keith. he was just put on that first place podium. he didn't work for it.

after that year lance and keith didn't talk for a while. keith is benched. put out of the spotlights for a while. he does other races, but out of the classic formula path. just because his team hasn't given up on his world champion potential just yet. so they keep him at arm's length, but further from the media than if he was an actual competitor. to the average fan he just disappeared (well, the average fan doesn't even watch f2, much less f3). in the end, his return is even more impactful, memorable.

about 3 years later keith comes back. he first starts as an f1 reserve driver. substituting another driver that year make people actually see him again. how much he has changed. and how much he is still is hungry for speed. hungry for victory.