#second of all! my dad is the most transphobic person in my family!

[science-lings]

I've been thinking a lot about Phoenix's family, and I got carried away so I'm going to put the whole essay below the cut, I'm so normal about him

I'm sorry there's just no way that Phoenix has any sort of normal family situation, not just because they're never mentioned even in passing as he goes through extremely major life events, but also because of how he is as a person. You cannot convince me that the guy who fell head over heels for Dahlia two seconds after meeting her had any sort of reliable support system in his life. When she got arrested the only person he could think about was a guy he hadn't seen since they were both nine instead of any current person who would likely care that he almost got poisoned and arrested for murder.

While I think it would be nice if he had lesbian moms who loved him, it just doesn't quite fit in with what we know about Phoenix. I mean, even in the WAA/WTA the only photograph on display is Zak's, and if there isn't a better person to put on the wall than the biological father of his daughter who abandoned her, that's pretty sad. (though I personally like to think that his portrait was there specifically as a target for things like darts and throwing knives). Plus, we already know from the thing with Dahlia that Phoenix's primary way of dealing with trauma and abusive people is just to pretend nothing happened and force himself to forget about them.

That's not even mentioning this guy's abandonment issues and complete willingness to adopt anyone he finds into his found family with zero hesitation. He meets Ema once for a few days, someone he has no personal connection to, but because she reminded him of Maya he stays in contact with her at some capacity to the point that he keeps her investigative tools with him and can have his name be used to gain her favor. Also, there's that new years art where she gets drunk with the Wright's and Apollo. And there are several more young adults/teenagers like that, he's got that foster kid to foster dad energy.

What I think makes the most sense is either that he was given up for adoption/ was an orphan in the foster care system who was passed around a lot, never getting too attached to one family, which led to his abandonment issues, or that he had a normal family life until something happened that estranged them from him. As a staunch believer in Transmasc Phoenix my thoughts are that he had transphobic parents so when he left for university he cut them off and changed his full name which explains why he is so desperate for emotional connection at that time. He suddenly has no one but a dream to find Miles and a girlfriend whose red flags he's completely blind to.

But honestly, there are so many reasons that people could come up with that would also make sense for his character. Maybe they were emotionally abusive and since everyone around him has dead or horrifically bad parents he's just not going to ever bring it up because who is he to complain when his besties are Maya Fey and Miles Edgeworth. Maybe they were just absent a lot and he had to take care of himself (and perhaps younger siblings) until he just couldn't take it anymore. Maybe they just tried to get him a girlfriend to settle down with one too many times and he just refuses to visit them, not even on holidays like Christmas or new years. It's just fascinating to me that there's absolutely nothing about them, I think there was even one of those little (official?) comics that poked fun at the fact that he doesn't really have parents, he may not even know who they are.

I also stand behind all of the ideas from my Phoenix Family HCs Poll because all of them would be so fun to explore even if some of them are total crack HCs. Tigre is only 16 years older than Phoenix but you can't say it's not possible that he messed around in high school and his girlfriend just gave up the kid for adoption and it would be so funny if Phoenix had to put his own father into prison after he pretended to be him.

In my Fem!Phoenix AU where I'm planning on expounding upon her relationship with the Feys and her own spiritual power (Phoenix does canonically talk to ghosts sometimes), the spirit of Ryunosuke found her and kind of became her imaginary friend who appears sometimes because I love him.

Even the idea of the goddess of law making him as an indestructible little terror on the legal system would be fascinating to expand upon. I would love to read about the whole concept of law being turned into a kind of religion, is she a single omniscient god (is she single?) or is she part of a larger pantheon? What would that mean for Phoenix?

I just can't even fathom that there's something normal going on with Phoenix and his family, I think he should pull an Apollo and secretly have the most batshit family backstory. Just looking at this guy and you know he has some kinds of issues, he was an art/theater major, he's got to be a little bit of that flavor of fucked up.

[your-queer-dad]

Hi. I just wanted to say 2 things. Sorry about how long this post is - you don’t have to read it all if you don’t want to. At least I’ll have typed out what I’ve been keeping inside so long.

First, you’re a really good person. I’m sure you know that already, and have been told that already, but from a young person to you, thank you so much. You are such a blessing.

I want to preface the second thing by saying that I have no idea where to go for support. My parents are wonderful people, but I’m not ready to come out to them or anyone else because my overall community doesn’t feel safe.

I know that at least one of my uncles doesn’t support LGBT people. One of my former classmates didn’t put in a yearbook quote indicating she was gay because she was afraid of her parents seeing it - and we’re part of a similar community. I have reason to believe other people in our community, even family members, may feel similarly.

At my former high school, my classmates often said transphobic things (one of my friends even said that one day, when I was absent a student gave a presentation promoting debunked rapid onset gender dysphoria - although thankfully someone pushed back) and although I’m not trans, not only is that behavior crappy and must have made my trans classmates feel bad, but it indicated an environment that I didn’t feel safe in.

I want to be clear that my high school wasn’t an awful place - we had an LGBT club and an out teacher who wasn’t harassed by anyone, to my knowledge - but all those other elements, and the world outside my school, still existed. I didn’t know if it was safe to be out.

It’s also my fault I feel stuck, too. Everyone assumes I’m straight, and it just feels easier to go with the flow. To pretend that I’m definitely going to have a boyfriend. To pretend that I’m not a woman who loves women as well as men.

This anxiety is so stifling, but it feels terrifying to think about being out. Even typing these words makes my hands shake and palms sweat. I don’t want to live in a world where people debate whether I can marry, whether I can exist, whether I am human - I hate it. I hate this nervousness. I hate that now, even though I’m going to college, I may not have the courage to be myself on campus.

So, after all of that, I guess I just need to ask: is it possible to find support? How do you learn to love yourself? How do I find a community?

Sorry for the long post. Have a good day.

Hey kiddo! It's alright, I don't mind the long post and thank you so much for reaching out! Yes I think it's possible to find support and your community. I hate it too, that we have to fight so hard for something that's so such a basic human necessity like the right to be ourselves. But finding support is possible, it just isn't always in the way you expect. There's lgbtq people everywhere, who feel like you, and who wants support too. Sometimes it comes when you least expect it to. But you will always have your community online, and your international community here for you, even if you don't see us everyday, we're here (and we're queer!). Learning to accept and love yourself is the hardest and the most worthwhile journey you'll ever go on, and there isn't a rush to start it until you're ready.

- dad x

[pretty-demiboy]

TW: Sort-Of Transphobia

this is a lot less light-hearted than my usual posts but i needa vent somewhere and my other blog is more bleh sooo...

idk, i was jst thinking bout terfs, transphobes and my mother today as well as jst a lot in general cause my mum and i have been having... well, not rlly conversations, more like her saying 'oh ur my daughter, always have been' and me being too scared of conflict to disagree with her. she knows what i am and all, like im out, but yk how it is with parents. they are passive-aggressive, love the old u too much and can think of rlly gaslight-y/guilt-trippy arguments. today she sent me a ss of an article explaining the origin of my deadname and sorta hyped it up with a caption along the lines of 'love u my little shapeshifter' (for context my deadname is a goddess who shapeshifts which like BADASS but also yk) and ik its like i shouldnt even be complaining about it cause she's not abusive and loves me and all but like... idk. it felt bad. she's more accepting than my dad but still yk having a transgender child is hard. she doesnt want her baby girl to rlly be a boy, and she's a non-aggressive terf and shit. idek if ill be demi for the rest of my life, its prolly jst a phase and shit cause i dont get much dysphoria but its still pretty upsetting in a way. i mean, i got into an argument w/ my sis abt micro-aggressions and whether or not they're harmful and i didnt explain it vry well (my sis is also openly transphobic despite being bi) and like it started when i tried to tell my lil bro not to say smt abt women, idk it was like stereo-typing or smt like that but he's only seven and i wanna help him grow up to be accepting unlike the kids in my school, but my sis... well. yk. and it sucked that i couldnt put into words how harmful micro-aggressions are without her making me feel fking sensitive or smt, and it sucked when my mam and stepdad acted like i was making a fuss over nothing, when its not nothing, its my whole fucking life. but my sis acts like im being a child cause yk, transphobic, like our dad, so. idk, its jst rlly fking shitty. i thought i was accepting of my identity but ppl keep making me second guess myself and my beliefs concerning basic human rights. it sucks so much. i shouldnt feel afraid of even expressing my opinion that trans women arent predators, or feel scared to tell my mam that atm i am a boy (technically i am, i think she'd have a stroke if i tried to explain what demi is xD) despite her being prolly the most supportive person in my close family. ppl shouldnt have to feel this way abt literally the most basic part of their identity. its jst not fair, and it sucks. idw feel like idw be queer, cause being queer is beautiful and the community is amazing, but sometimes i jst get so fking tired, and thats w/ me being in a lot more accepting family and community than most ppl. if i wasnt demi & biromantic i wouldnt be me, and i know that for sure, but sometimes i cant help but think of how easy it would b to jst be cishet, at least for shit like this. its pride month and i cant even b proud of who i am rn. its easy when im w/ my friends or watching an ot/click/jamie vid, but when im alone or w/ my family i jst... i hate it sm. if i wasnt queer, maybe a lot of my problems wld go away. if i wasnt queer, maybe id feel accepted at school and w/ family. if i wasnt queer, maybe id love myself a little bit more.

idk, its jst fking hard, especially when ppl say the lgbtqia+ community is like being unreasonable or dramatic or some bullshit like that, when they dont have to feel everything that we feel on a daily fucking basis. ive been so lucky with me being bi (practically everyone in my family is accepting of lgb) its jst my gender and asexuality thats causing problems, and if i cant even handle a little bit of discrimination that isnt even real discrimination, i cant imagine what its like for ppl in aggresively homophobic and transphobic environments. it makes me want to kms and hms when i think of all the ppl getting treated less than human or sinners or anything like that jst cause they arent smt that they are supposedly born to be... god, fking terfs and bigots make me sick, man. even the gaslighting and micro-aggressions are jst so disgusting. im so sorry to everyone dealing with discrimination. i wish i could help u somehow. i wld do anything to make this shit stop. jst know that i and others in our community love you so much even if atm it seems like no one else does.

[saorlasdraft]

Okay time for Bad Dad rankings according to me (MCU) (it's just the avengers, Gotg, and black widow film.)

1. Alexei. (Dad guy of Natasha and Yelena)

-I don't think I have to explain this but I will anyway.

-This guy concsiously made the decision to put his very very young adoptive-ish daughters in the red room. You know, the one who trains kid assasins and then like inevitably kills them if they fail, pit them against each other? Yeah.

-also fuck you alexei that's human trafficking.

2. 0d*n

-like come on who the fuck steals a child and then makes them hate their existence??

-Bitch ass lying ass bitch.

-He had 3 chances I don't know how he managed to fuck that up

-"oh but look at thor, he's always happy, and he's good." First of all, Thor is only good because earthlings taught him better shit than 0d*n. Second of all, he's always happy, and you don't find it concerning at all??

-thor turned out to be the depressed kid who wants to fight every mild inconvenience.

3. Ego

-okay now, him, U don't personally know. But if you're going to use your kid, you could at least not kill their mom yk?? That was a dick move

4. Thanos

-Now I know what you might be thinking, "why isn't he the top 1, he tried to murder half the universe blah blah blah," I Don't Care. Thanos by far showed the most care for his children.

-did he turn them into assasins? Yes. Did he pit them against each other in order to strengthen them? Also yes. But you have to admit, he cared about eacb and every stray child he got (disregarding of course the possibility that he mind whammied loki and tortured him)

-like he has different beliefs than everyone else that made him a bad father, but essentially it didn't make him like love them less. He just kinda loved the balance of the universe more.

-also there's something with the way he talks that's so...placating(?). Like when Ebony didn't show up, it wasn't like anger that he failed, it was mostly disappointment. Like the kind you get when you feel like you failed someone because they failed? Also whenever he speaks to anyone he sounds so peaceful idk.

5. That guy with the rings???

-like man why you blaming your child???

-also abuse???

-also hating your kids especially girly with the bangs???

6. Howard mf Stark.

-now here's the thing. I genuinely believe that Howard was neglectful but he was in no way abusive.

-I believe that Mr. Jarvis would most definitely not stand for the abuse of anyone in the Stark Manor. As does Peggy Carter.

-But He is neglectful. Just the company, SHIELD, shmaptain shamerica, everything, he completely forgets to prioritize his family.

-but I also believe that he greatly values the Stark name. Not in the sense that, "behave, do not sully my household name." But like, "this is my household name that I built from the ground up. Now that you have become part of it, there is nothing you can do to tarnish it. Be free, be gay, do crimes"

-like obviously not treason but like if Tony was ever like has disabilities or something about his Sexuality or gender identity, he'd do absolutely everything so that no one has anything bad to say about it.

-Not to say he will accept it (it's honestly this or that) but he won't allow anyone disrespecting a Stark.

-I just get the vibe that even if he was not a good father, he will make the Stark name impossibly unreachable, untouchable, no matter the circumstances. Like he'd be too focused on that to be homophobic or transphobic.

-like let's say ftm!tony, and he walks in on him trying Howard's old suit which are like sized bigger than him. He'd probably forget that tony was afab and be like, "This is not going to work, we're going to the tailor. I can't have people seeing you dressed like you got that from a thrift shop." Or like, "Why are you so skinny? Do you even work-out, boy? Drop and give 50, now."

(Please know that this would be entirely different had he been abusing. He's be in 1st place)

Anyway. Thank you for coming to my tedtalk.

[jennwritespokemon]

Sexuality/Gender Headcannons for Pokemon Shield Characters:

*This kind of devolves into some ships I like towards the Leon/Raihan section, so let me know if you'd like to see some specific content for them.

*I'd love to hear your theories/headcannons in reblogs or the comments!

Gym Leaders

Milo

Has only ever dated women, but would be open to dating men

Homoflexible or Pansexual mayhaps?

Once someone explained what Demisexual means he realized that it clicked with him

He/Him pronouns

Does his best to remember people's pronouns

Occasionally wears a He/Him pronoun pin that Kabu got him

(probably wrote a list somewhere so he wouldn't forget)

Profusely apologizes if he gets them wrong (not in a fake ally kind of way)

Nessa

She gives me mean bisexual vibes and I won't be elaborating as to why

(It's probably because she could step on me and I'd thank her BUT I DIGRESS ANYWAY)

She/Her?

Doesn't mind They/Them but she doesn't hear them much so she doesn't think about it

Bisexual w/a preference for women

Will scream at someone who misgenders her friends/partner

Kabu

Straight

He/Him

ONE OF THE FIERCEST ALLIES YOU WILL EVER MEET

Would start an organization among the gym leaders to encourage conversations about gender/sexuality in a safe space

Encourages his gym trainers to wear pronoun pins, and wears a He/Him pronoun pin everywhere

He's the guy at pride wearing a "Free Dad Hugs" tshirt

(He cried when he got the shirt as a gift from one of the other gym trainers he works with)

Will put time and effort into researching the different genders/sexualities that exist now to make sure he's up to date

(Like Milo) also has a list of people's pronouns so he wouldn't forget

Allister

*I won't be going too far into this since he's a child but I still wanted to include him

They/He

Some flavor of nonbinary, I think.

Asexual/Aromantic?

Bede

He/They

You're going to look me in the eye and tell me that man is straight? Absolutely not.

Some sorta gay.

*My friend had a headcannon that he's asexual/Aromantic, and he convinced himself that he's so superior to everyone else and thats why he's not attracted to people.

Melony

Used to be casually homophobic, but is working on being a better ally once she learned more about the LGBTQ+ community

She/Her

At some point realizes that she's always liked women, and just has never explored the concept

Kinda has a "What do you mean not everyone daydreamed about kissing girls as a kid?" Moment.

Eventually comes out as bisexual

Piers

He/They, wants to look more into neopronouns to see if they fit

Demisexual and Panromantic

Doesn't really put a label on his romantic attraction, but uses Panromantic if someone asks

A very easy person to come out to, and is extremely supportive

Performs at Pride every year, without fail

(Probably hosts a smaller pride event for Spikemuth w/Marnie every year too)

Has a pronoun pin on his jacket

Pretty good at remembering pronouns, and will correct someone if needed

Will beat the piss out of someone who's being a homophobe/transphobe without a second thought (and has done so multiple times)

Marnie

She/They

Lesbian & Demisexual

Piers got her a pronoun pin & a lesbian pride pin that she wears on her jacket

(Will also beat the shit out of a homophobe/transphobe if they're bothering her or her partner)

Raihan

He/Him

He gives me bi man whore vibes

Like, give him a drop of alcohol and he'll flirt with anything with a pulse good God

He definately has gotten hit on by so many people that he thought, "Hmm, this increases my odds of getting laid. Why not?" Ya know?

Definately has flirted w/Leon and claims he was joking at the time.

Spoiler alert: He wasn't joking

He goes all out for pride in terms of his outfit, and will post about it on social media

Avery

He/They for the most part

Definately nonbinary to some degree, maybe genderfluid?

Panromantic Asexual...?

His time at the dojo gave him time away from his family to learn more about himself and who he wants to be; Not who his family wants him to be.

Mans is literally decked out in rainbows on a daily basis; C'mon now.

A concept I thought of:

Some Rando: Whats your gender?

Avery: I don't have one.

Rando: Gender is whats in your pants.

Avery: MY GENDER IS ELEGANCE BITCH-

Other Main Characters

Hop

He/Him pronouns

(I've seen some people headcannon him as a Trans man, which isn't something I've thought about but I could see it tbh)

(Similar to Milo) Has only ever dated women, but is open to the idea of dating men if the opportunity presented itself.

I think he just loves people as they are, so gender wouldn't matter too much to him

Panromantic demisexual

Helps Kabu run a pride organization, and keeps him updated on what's going on in the LGBT+ community

Leon

He/Him pronouns

Thinks he's straight for a long time

Mostly because of his job as champion, he never really had the time to do a deep dive into his sexuality. He also didn't want to think otherwise out of fear that it would ruin his reputation.

He gets a lil too tipsy one night w/Raihan and starts seeing him in a different light for the first time.

(Well, the first time that he's willing to admit to.)

Like, damn. Has his eyes always been that bright? Or has his smile always made Leon's heart beat out of his chest? What the hell is going on?

Turns out he'd been thinking out loud, and Raihan explained to him that he might be bisexual or pansexual. (While also jokingly saying something like, "How could you not be attracted to me.")

This took a huge weight off Leon's chest and helped him be more comfortable exploring his sexuality

Later figures out that he identifies as bi

Hop is the first person he comes out to officially (and they both cry.... a lot.)

Sonia

She/Her

Bi

(She figured out she was bi when she was a younger teenager)

(That may or may not have been when she realized that she was VERYYY gay for Nessa)

[wagner-fell]

Mari kicked down the dressing room door with a bang so loud Kevin jumped and spilled his hot coffee cup all over himself. Hearing his yelps of pain, Astrid peaked her head out of the curtain, laughed at his expense then shut it again. Maria ignored that.

They strutted out to where the boys were sitting and struck a pose. “Can I rock cottage core or can I rock cottage core?”

Kit didn’t trust himself to speak. He simply nodded instead. While the baby blue dress with short, ruffled sleeves looked a bit out of place paired with Mari’s bulging muscles, she looked absolutely stunning.

The Merry Hoes were located in the back room of the antique store Kevin’s family owned. The Chu’s just got a large donation of vintage clothing. Mari had just gotten their pay check from the downworlder gym she worked at. Kit and Astrid really didn’t want to do their maths homework. It was destiny.

Despite being downworlders both Blessica and Kevin still lived at home. Mari, though, lived with the rest of their pack in an old Edwardian mansion a few blocks away from school. However the five of them slept over at each other’s place of residence so often they blurred together in the young Herondale’s mind. He could really only tell them apart by their smells.

Mari’s reeked of dirty laundry as they were one of four folks on the feminine side of the gender scale out of the lycanthropy of London, Blessica excluded. Her house smelled like Ube, a type of yam her Filipino parents put in everything. Kit couldn’t complain. Ube flavoured ice cream was the best thing he’s ever eaten. Aside from Mari. Though he wasn’t usually the one… Nevermind.

Kevin’s house smelled of Longjing tea and red wine. A peculiar combination that oddly enough, worked quite well.

Astrid had two homes as her parents divorced at the age of six. Stepping into her mom’s house was like stepping into a cookie factory. Which made sense as her mom owned a bakery and lived above it. Kit didn’t know exactly what Astrid’s dad’s place smelled like, let alone looked like, but he could make an educated guess that it was similar to the Los Angeles Institute because it was in LA too.

After they separated, Miss Yang fled to Devon to dodge the possibility of seeing her ex-husband when they exchanged Astrid. Kit related to her on a deep, personal level.

Now Astrid spent her summers in America and Kit drained his battery on international phone calls.

Her three months in the USA each year helped him bond with her better when they had first been introduced. For example, her ringtone was the Perry the Platypus theme song. Blessica, Kevin and Maria had no clue what it was but when the music reached Kit’s ears, the two sang an epic duet that put Kiss Me More (the second most iconic duet in history) to shame.

“How much is this anyway,” asked Mari, turning in a circle to see if there was a price tag. In the process she sent the fabric fluttering as she went. It made them look more magical than ever.

“There is no price on fabulousness,” said Astrid. She had on loose, black dress pants, a white shirt, and black suspenders with gold blemishes.

“Yes there is,” replied Kevin. “54 euros.”

“54 euros,” exclaimed Mari.

“Well it would have been €34 but you made me spill my coffee and this shirt was 20 so..”

“Seriously, Kev. I will fuck your mom. You think I won’t?” A pause. “Wait, only twenty €20?”

“Oh, I know right! There is this incredible thrift store down on Fleet Street and-”

“Don’t care,” interrupted Mar. She took one last look in the mirror before turning back to him. “I’ll give you your parents' price, not your dramatic ass’s one.”

Kevin rolled his eyes. “Fine. But it’s an extra €10 for the shoes.”

Mari looked down at her tan sandals. They leaned against the door they just excited to take the footwear off. “Racist,” she muttered under her breath.

“I’m literally Chinese.”

“Homophobic, then.”

“Pansexaul,” he sang.

Mari was silent for a moment before she banged on the door into the room Blessica was changing into her rose pink gown. “Blessie! Do I have permission to call Kev transphobic in your name?”

“Hey,” said Kevin, looking up from his task of rubbing a paper towel across his sheer, white shirt. “That’s cheating. Blessie, don’t listen to them!”

The nickname ‘Blessie’ was what her family exclusively called her. She turned red when they had first found out. Granted, it wasn’t hard to make Blessica blush. All she had to do was stand in Kevin’s general area.

“Blessica,” called Mari once again. When she still didn’t answer, Maria stood up and pressed their forehead against the changing room door. “You okay?”

“No,” Blessica croaked out finally. Her hoarse voice was laced with sorrow. Upon hearing her speak, Kevin abandoned any hope of saving his top and joined Mari at the door. Kit and Astrid were quick to follow.

“Hey,” said Astrid gently. “What’s wrong?”

Blessica began to sob. “The dress doesn’t fit right,” she whimpered.

“That’s okay,” soothed Kevin. “We have other sizes.”

“Kev, it doesn’t fit my body because it wasn’t made for my body. I just feel so ugly.” All the other Merry Hoes made various sounds of distress. Kit was instantly reminded of Dru,

He was suddenly fifteen again. In Ty’s bedroom as he told him of all the times she’d been told she wasn’t pretty by members of the Shadowhunter society. And all the times Emma or Julian or another member of her family had reassured her that she was. The thought occurred to Kit that maybe they weren’t Emma-y as Blessica needed them to be.

“It’s just like,” started Blessica, “I started taking Estrogen seven months ago, you know? And I still don’t have anything to show for it.”

His mind was racing a mile a minute. “Yes you do,” he said.

“I do?” she asked, sounding dubious.

“Your voice!”

“You do have a really nice voice,” agreed Astrid. “You could totally narrate audiobooks or something.”

“No it’s not,” grumbled Kevin.

“Kevin,” said Mari, glaring daggers at him. ‘Kevin’ in this case didn’t mean Kevin. It meant ‘Shut your mouth right or I will actually kill you’.

“No, not like that! It’s just…” he was blushing profusely now. “Her voice is like the rain. Most of the time it’s soft and warm and it wraps you in one big, wet hug. You can’t help but feel, well, blessed to get to feel it touching your skin.. But when it rains hard you feel every single drop land. But no matter what kind of rain it is, the impact is always enormous. Uh, yeah, her voice is like that.” There was a moment of prolonged silence, where Blessica had stopped crying but no one was brave enough to talk.

The door opened and Kit, Kevin and Astrid stumbled backwards. Mari didn’t. Stupid gorgous jock, Kit thought as she survayed her inferiourors.

Blessica stood in the open doorway. Her eyes were puffy and red. The dress looked perfect on her. Not that this style hadn’t looked perfect on Mari but their arms were so thick, they filled up the entire selve. Blessica was so petite you could see her bones clearly through the skin. It highlighted the flowness of the gown extremely well. “You guys like my voice?” Then, “why are you all staring at me, is it that bad?”

“Blessie,” said Mari. “You can’t just put on that in front of four people who like women and expect them not to stare.”

“Respectfully, of course,” added Kit.

“Just tell us if it makes you uncomfortable,” agreed Kevin.

“Step on me,” breathed Astrid.

“But then again,” said Mari, “you validate yourself too.”

“Run me over with a cement truck.”

“We can see your hot as fuck. But more importantly you have to believe you’re hot as fuck.”

“You could literally kill me and I’d get on my knees to thank you.”

Blessica was blushing as hard as Kevin now. They sheepishly smiled at each other before turning away. “Simp,” said Kit and he held out his hand. Astrid dutifully rewarded him with a high five.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I am on the trans spectrum but I am not mtf. If you are and you feel misrepresented please feel free to private message me or just leave a comment tell me how I can fix it.

@the-wckd-powers @book-dragon-not-worm @thechangeling @the-blackdale @ithurielkeepsgettingkidnapped @illusions-give-reasons-to-live @shelvesofgold @arangiajoan @maxboythedog @noah-herondale-lightwood @its-taff @cncnbr @sofiatheskeleton @thomas-gaypanic-lightwood @im-not-ruined-im-ruination @adoravel-fenomeno

Let me know if I left anyone out. Also let me know if you want to be added or removed from the tag list.

[just-antithings]

if els mothers so damn abusive you're perfectly capable of moving out lmao

wow.

wooooow.

thats it. i genuinely believe this is the most insidious message ive ever personally received.

way to care about abuse survivors, i guess?

youre not entitled to my life story, anon, but since you asked so kindly, ill tell you.

first of all, i never implied i was even under her roof. i live there when im not at college, yes, but the tracking app incident (the second of its kind, in case you were wondering), happened just two weeks ago, while i was at school. the first incident, when it actually was installed on my phone, happened when i was a senior in high school.

second of all, i can't believe i even need to say this, but "just move out lmao" is so fucking ableist and victim-blaming it makes me sick.

my mother has control over everything i do. my job. my home life. my political affiliation. hell, im turning 21 this year and my bank account is still attached to theirs, and they can see my purchases easier than i can see them myself.

my mother regularly went through my search history and my text messages to my friends, despite giving her no reason to distrust me. i lived in constant fear as a late teen that i hadn't closed out my incognito tabs or removed tumblr and various curses from my learned words on my keyboard, and later, that she would somehow find out that i was gay and not cis.

shes homophobic, shes transphobic, shes viciously certain that she is right and everyone else is wrong, she believes that me not agreeing with her hateful thoughts is me personally silencing her in her "own home".

i had to use my cousin in another state as a lifeline last summer over quarantine, because there were more days where i was desperate to just die so she could finally just leave me the fuck alone than there were days when i wanted to keep going. i packed up what clothes i could and almost had my cousin come pick me up in the middle of the night.

but i didn't. and do you know why? because i can't. as much as she hurts me, as much as she's fucking destroyed my sense of self-worth and ability to live without constantly apologizing for my existence, as much as she spews hatred for my life and how i love right in front of my face, even though the one time i barely hinted i wasn't straight she threatened to send me to what would undoubtedly have been conversion therapy...

she controls everything. my family. my money. my phone.

if i had escaped last summer the way i wanted to, i would have lost everything.

and because, as is often the case in these situations, she is my mother, and i can't help but still love her. despite all evidence to the contrary, despite how she's proven time and time again that she will never change, i can't help but hold onto the hope that she will.

but more than anything else, anon, i feel sorry for my dad. my dad and i are alike in a lot of ways, mostly how we tend to avoid confrontation until its unavoidable. i love my dad with everything i have. i got everything from him. my love of music, my shitty eyesight with glasses thicker than a kid's picture book, my love of shitty puns, and though he's never been tested himself, i'm 95% sure i also got my adhd from him. when i was born, the doctor looked at me, then at my dad, and went "oh wow. it's little you."

my mother's mother is a fucking monster, and despite how much my mother loves her father, she can't see him because her mother has torn the family apart and refuses to talk to us.

i don't want that to be my relationship with my dad. we don't agree on things - whereas my mother is disgustingly far right, my dad, while right-leaning, is far more centralized than anything else. when i talk with him about politics, he listens to me. we are able to have discussions. and barring politics, even with something like vocaloid, which he Very Much doesn't understand why i like it so much, he willingly and happily listens to me gush excitedly about it, and i listen to him gush about his music and the wacky things he and his high school friend group he's since drifted away from used to get up to.

either of us bring that up to my mother and she shuts us down.

me leaving would not only hurt me, it would hurt my dad, and while i'm perfectly okay with hurting myself - god knows it couldn't possibly be worse than it already is - the thought of leaving my dad with her is the worst thing i could ever think of.

so, anon, how dare you assume that an escape from any abusive situation is just as simple as "moving out".

fuck you. i hope you're never in a situation you can't escape from, because i wouldn't wish that pain on anyone.

[cherriesradio]

Hello! This is Cherry on the first episode of, Me ranting about how misogynistic, racist, homophobic and transphobic different people in my family are !!! ^-^ On this episode we are covering, their misogy!!!

also this is half me ranting, half me commenting on how cishet white men don’t see the problems in their way of thinking! Feel free to add commentary on this (cough cough @artof-apollo ? Maybe? Cough cough) , and all of this is from a first hand perspective. (long post)

M = mom D = dad

YB = brother a year older than me (adoptive) OB = second to oldest brother (adoptive)

B = oldest (adoptive) brother

P = biological brother, oldest of all brothers (yes I am the youngest of the family)

“Housewife.”

My first memory of OB saying this is when we were eating dinner, talking about M. His own fucking mother. I can’t quite remember why he was calling her a housewife but she was bothered by it and told him to stop, but he didn’t. Being the eight year old I was at the time, who also saw OB as “cool” and “very smart”, thought this was funny. M told D to tell him to stop, but going along with the “listen to your mother” stereotype, he merely said “boys, stop calling M a housewife.” (He’s better now, don’t worry. We stan present D)

And then, this very night, while I was moving pillows from the floor so I could sweep, he (OB) moved from the couch saying “ima move, I’m not a housewife.” THIS SEVENTEEN YEAR OLD JUST INDIRECTLY CALLED HIS LOWER TEENS “SISTER” A FUCKING HOUSEWIFE. HE CALLED ME A HOUSEWIFE.

I don’t need to explain how fucking wrong that is.

Every wonder why women are upset about how little female CEO’s there are?

Body hair.

When I was around 9-10, me, YB, OB, B, dad and grandpa all went to the beach for a week during the summer. One of the very few memories I have of this vacation was playing in the pool with YB. Now, we’ve never gotten along, hell he still won’t even sit next to me. This was one of the very few times that we got along and enjoyed each others company.

We were just throwing a beach ball back and forth, and he felt the need to comment on how I hadn’t shaved my armpits. Yeah I had been given a razor but I never shaved. I started shaving for the first time when we got home.

Every wonder why women shave?

Secret catcalling.

That might not be the best thing to call it but it’s all I can think of right now.

When my family was walking back to the car from YB’s orchestra rehearsal OB called one of the older girl in the orchestra hot. He was sixteen at the time, she was in eighth grade, therefore 13-14.

When we were driving home from a fancy dinner with B and his girlfriend, OB pointed out a women who looked about 15-17 years old walking on the sidewalk with her boyfriend (holding hands, got a flash of him kissing her cheek) and said she “had cake.”

When OB was helping me with virtual school on my first day he called my second period teacher hot. She’s in her thirties.

There were too many times I sat in the car beside them or walking right behind them, holding M’s hand while they talked about how hot random girls on the street were.

Ever wonder why women are scared to walk down the street alone?

Weight comments.

(TW!!: eating disorder mention, weight comments, vomit mention, very personal, feel free to skip this portion)

When I was about nine or ten I would always have a small bag of popcorn when I got back from school, since I was usually starving. (Barely ate any of lunch since school lunch was gross.) OB told me to stop and that I was going to get fat.

When I was twelve a new bakery opened around my area. My dad got four things of ice cream and four of their big cookies. He said each of us (brothers me and him, M was on a trip) could have one thing of ice cream and a quarter of each cookie. I didn’t know either of these because I forgot quickly, most likely because of adhd or something. I ate two of the ice cream things and two more of the cookie quarters than I should’ve.

The next night while we were eating dinner they brought this up and I apologized. I apologized dozens of times, I was and still am very apologetic. YB said that I shouldn’t be aloud to have sugary food for a few weeks. He kept repeating why I was horrible for this. D didn’t even try to stop him.

I went and stayed in the bathroom all of dinner. Didn’t eat dinner at all that day. All I ate was a small bowl of animal crackers, tried so hard to throw them up.

And what was filling my mind while hiding in the bathroom from my own fucking family? “If you don’t eat, you won’t get in trouble.” I was twelve. Wanted a fucking eating disorder. I was twelve.

Ever wonder why women get eating disorders?

[lady-deaaaath]

You Are You-Grelle x Othello Drabble

Something that came to my mind a while ago.

Warnings: Mentions of the past, a transphobic family and slight dark themes. 

(Note: This is exactly what I went through with my own family, so the reason I relate to Grelle and how she’s my comfort character.)

---

Grelle Sutcliff and Othello, along with Ronald were tasked to see a person whose soul they needed to reap. Grelle was her usual self, Ronald supporting himself on his lawnmower death scythe. Othello only came with them, because he was bored and would rather tag along with them, than being locked inside his own division of reapers.

“So? Is this the place?” Grelle asked, grabbing a lock of her crimson hair and played with it.

“It appears it is, at the little Sunnyville.” Ronald confirmed with a nod, checking the paper that was given to them.

Suddenly, Grelle stiffened completely, her porcelain skin becoming pale and sweat came running from her forehead to her cheeks.

“S-Sunnyville?” She stammered, pulling off one of her black gloves and poking at her nails with her other gloved hand. A habit of hers when she was nervous or afraid of something.

“Sutcliff-Senpai? Are you doing well?” Ronald noticed the change in Grelle’s behavior and so did Othello, who raised a brow at it.

“What the matter might be, Grelle-Chan?” He inched closer to her, right as Ronald moved closer too.

Grelle was this anxious because the name of the place brought her very, very undesired memories of her past as human and her very, very unhealthy and transphobic family spun around her mind. She didn’t at all want to remember all that. She was tormented by them, and a severe headache was starting to throb her head as she groaned and put her hands on her temples, and shrunk to the ground. Remembering all that, almost put her sick enough to start throwing up what she ate a while ago with the other reapers.

“Senpai?!” Ronald crouched down to her, putting a hand on her shaking shoulder. Othello did the same with her other shaking.

“Grelle-Chan, you have to tell us what is it with you. Otherwise we won’t be able to help you!” The scientist reaper advised her, completely not liking how Grelle was acting, it looked like she was remembering memories that she really didn’t want to remember.

“...Sunnyville... family... I’m a freak...” Grelle could only stutter those words. The headache wasn’t letting her speak clearly. Noticing a bench nearby, Othello nodded at Ronald to help him move Grelle over to there and so they did, gently sitting her there, both took seats by her sides, leaving her in the middle.

“Can you tell us what is that about?” Othello asked her, gently. Waiting for her to calm down a little, so she couldn’t smile. Ronald had opened a water bottle they’d brought when they got thirsty and handed it over to the troubled reaper lady who took deep breaths to calm down. Once she did, she sighed and began explaining.

“I’m sorry... the name Sunnyville brings me very terrible memories. I’ll explain everything.”

--

“Grelle, come down. It’s dinner time, you boy.” Called Mrs. Sutcliff upstairs to the youngest child that the family had.

Grelle Sutcliff, that time a human in her 13′s came down, wearing her red dress that she adored wearing. Her family didn’t approve of her ways of living or her preferences.

“Again with dressing like that? Grelle Sutcliff! You’re a boy, a man. Act like one now!” Said her father, who was a very short-fused man and clearly disapproved of his youngest’s ways of dressing and acting.

“Dad, he’s just a weirdo. A freak. If he won’t accept the fact that he was biologically born a MALE.” Said the eldest son of the family. Walter. He scoffed and made fun of Grelle, even forced her to fall down, when he extended his leg to make her trip over.

“Freak, only women wear dresses.” the second eldest son scoffed at Grelle, throwing some cheese at her face and laughing at her.

Grelle felt terrible. She didn’t have a loving home or family, everyday she had to deal with this and it was really taking a toll on her mental health, she didn’t have any support. Both her parents always rebuked her so harshly. Her siblings hurt her and bullied her.

“Get up.” Her father yanked her off and scowled at her.

“B-but, I really I’m a lady. I want to wear red dresses, go to fashion stages and be the most beautiful lady of all London!” Grelle protested, hurt and inddignant that she didn’t have any support at all.

“Shut up!” Slap. Her father had struck her in the face. “You will go to your room, and write three thousand times, I am a man and I will act like one. Now. You’ve lost your dinner tonight.”

With a hand clutching her stinging cheek, Grelle sniffled and hurried up to her room, locking the door and doing just what she was ordered to do. She was crying, heartbrokendly. What horrible family she was born to. She didn’t accept that she was a boy, of course she wasn’t. In her heart and mind, she was a lady. And to the heart nothing or no one could lie too. If only she had someone to come to, someone supporting of her and her choice.

Days went by and nothing ever changed in her family. By the time Grelle turned 15 she had required that her party was the most fancy and girly possible. This earned her a harsh lashing out from her father and mother, her siblings laughing at her and calling even more names. For not wanting to comply dressing how they wanted her too, she was caned thirty times and sent to her room without food. She spent the whole day crying herself till very late in the night, before she eventually cried herself to sleep. That was when she decided to choose this choice. 

The next day the family didn’t see Grelle coming down for breakfast, to which they thought she was just taking a lot of time dressing weirdly again. The father went up the stairs and slammed the door open, to which... he saw his youngest child hung from the windown, long dead.

“WHAT DID YOU DO, YOU CRAZY BOY?!”

For once in his life, Mr. Sutcliff cried so heartedly at his youngest’s death, Mrs. Sutciff did too. Both of them regretted it when it was too late. The other two children of the family, didn’t really feel any remorse for their dead sibling.

“It was best that the freak died. He was such a creep, we’re better off him!” Grelle’s older brothers were the biggest douches in the whole world, they laughed off her death, while their parents actually didn’t take joy in it. They whole heartedly regretted treating their child like if she was just a weird specimen, preferring the girly stuff over the guy stuff.

--

“...I-I was treated s-so terribly b-by them... e-every single of them!” By the time Grelle finished telling her story, she broke down crying in her hands. Those memories hurt a lot, it ached her heart, and even then, some reapers in the Dispatch didn’t address like how she wanted.

“Oh, Grelle-Chan...”

“Senpai...”

Both Othello and Ronald hugged her gently, they felt absolutely terrible for her and felt absolutely furious at her family, if they were alive still, for sure Othello and Ronald would personally go to them, despite the rules forbidding them to interpose with the humans and made them pay for all the pain and torment they put her to go through.

“Grelle-Chan...” Othello cooed gently, a hand running through her long, crimson hair. “Even though you had a truly awful family, they were so blind as to never know or value such a wonderful lady as you.” 

Grelle slightly lifted her face, to look at Othello, as tears rain down her cheeks, and she let out little sobs. “O-Othello...”

“You are wonderful and amazing, Lady Sutcliff, and any one else that says otherwise, are fools and blind. I’ll always believe you’re a beautiful woman!” Othello said, with a warm tone, and in his face honesty was painted. He meant everything that he had told Grelle.

“What he says, Lady-Senpai. Count on me that I’ll also believe you’re a great, beautiful lady.” Ronald joined in. He respected his Senpai a lot, and if she wanted to be seen as a lady, then he would treat her like one, just like how Othello was doing currently.

“T-thank you, guys... it means a lot to me...” Grelle had managed a small, sad smile. Leaning over and now wrapping her arms around Othello, who pulled her into a tighter hug. Ronald was patting her back, helping comfort her.

“Anything for you,” Othello had always believed Grelle was just the perfect lady, in his eyes she was and she will always be. He would always be there for her and would defend her from the unkind, hurtful reapers around her.

“Oh, Othello...” Grelle smiled wider know, letting the last of her tears roll down her cheeks, while gently nuzzling Othello’s neck with her cheek. Ronald was smiling at them, it seemed like the both of them were going to become something else more closer. Othello was perfect for Grelle, they have had a long friendship before, and now that friendship was turning something else.

“Thank you so much, for being there for me, Othello.”

[lunapwrites]

What’s in a name? (Many secrets.)

Disclaimer before you read any of this. First: I don’t stand with The Author or any of her shitty bigoted misogynistic, misandrist, transphobic, patriarchal (etc) views. I take the canon she’s created and I replace it with my own, which has no room for any of that. Second: your take on Tonks is valid. Tonks is a fictional character, and love or loathe her, you are entitled to your opinion and your read of her. This is just my personal interpretation, and how I engage with her character as I work through my own identity issues. Mmkay? Mmkay. <3

My birth name is very gendered. It also is associated with a lot of trauma and anxiety for me. (I recognize this seems vague in such a loose context, but I don't feel the need to perform my trauma for y'all to make a point here. Sorry. Just suffice to say that I experience a strong, unpleasant physical response when I hear it.) I do not use my given name except on documentation where it is required.

But my mother refuses to call me anything but that name; it bothers me a little, but she is the only person I tolerate it from. There's context there... it makes sense in my head. And I've also got a horrid middle name that she likes to couple it with, or worse: replace it with. I feel like this is where Tonks is at with "Nymphadora." Basically if your name is not Andromeda Tonks, you do not get to use that name if you value your life.

I also have nicknames. Three, in total.

The first is one that was used when I was a kid that is only used by people that just... decided to shorten my name into something cute. I've always hated it, and the people who use it aren't in my life anymore (for unrelated reasons, but "not respecting my wishes and autonomy" certainly ties into all of them.) ... though my in-laws also use it and we're not really sure why? Either way, it sucks. I see this as Tonks being called "Nym" or "Nymphie" by people she attended school with and/or exes, all of whom she wants to yeet into the void.

The second is a shortened version of my name which I chose myself. It is familiar and comfortable. It is how I will introduce myself to people out in the wild. I use it in professional settings. It is, to the world at large, my name. This is, in my view, how Tonks feels about "Tonks."

The third is the most important one. It was gifted to me by the person I love most in the world. It is the name that my closest friends use. This is the name of the me that uses they/them pronouns and feels safe to do so. It is my truest and most honest self. But the only people that get to use this name are the people that I have trusted with that identity. This is how I feel Tonks feels about “Dora.” It’s a name reserved for the people she loves best. So it’s what her dad, and Remus, and Sirius (and later Harry) all call her. It’s for family.

My feelings on Tonks are as complicated as my feelings about my own name and identity. It’s one of the reasons I love exploring her as a character. I just wanted to put that out there just… to clarify I guess. Why I use a name that a lot of people interpret as a deadname (and it’s 100% valid if you do, to be clear.) Sometimes it’s not that simple, is all.

[demonic-hedgehog]

my coming out story

TW: transphobia, abuse, mention of dr*gs

Hey hey im Dakohta (he/they/it) and I wanna tell you my coming out story. Im sorry if my English is a bit off this isn’t my first language.

So… about a month ago (4/24/2021) I came out to my mom as trans. She was shocked at first and she started to ask me basic questions like “how did I realize im trans?” “but do you like boys or girls?”. The first one felt a bit invasive for me personally but I tried to answer at it. And the second one was a bit tricky cause im also gay (homoace more exactly) but I told her I like girls so she can think that if her child is trans ftm at least he is straight. I begged her to not tell this to my dad but she said “we are a family we cant have secrets”. So a few days after she told my dad that im trans. At that time my dad was working on a project aboard but he had to come home soon.

The worst day of all was april 29th. My dad started to beat me cause “this is what boys do to each other”. Then he wrote a very transphobic message in my native language. That message was awful. It said that all trans people are predators, are doing drugs and just wanna trick kids to “become” trans cause they are unhappy. I had to translate that message in English and post it on transgender amino. In the following days he checked everything he found on my phone. I had a draft were I wrote about my trans journey and how I found out im trans. I also mentioned there that im gay. He was very mad I think he would have beat me again if my mom wasn’t home. He told me that after I finish a certain class he is gonna send me to a monastery. I got so panicked cause I didn’t want to waste some years just cause they cant accept me. Also im a Satanist so I don’t believe in god and sending me there would me useless. My mom said I should see a therapist first. She thought a therapy could “make me a girl”.

On may 9th I started therapy. I was very nervous before my first appointment. I thought it was gonna be like gay conversion therapy. The therapist is actually very nice. She had a lot of queer patients with abusive parents before. She also said that its not my fault for my parents reaction and that my mom is the most “rigid” mom she has ever heard of. One thing that bothers me is that she keeps promising me that she will talk to my mom but this didn’t happen yet. Im trying to be patient but the things with my parents are getting worse.

My dad is abroad again but my mom reactions are …weird. She started going through my messages again and she was really mad about telling my irl and online friends about my her and my dad. “we are a family we don’t backstab eachother” I didn’t backstabbed her. My friends don’t even know her. I was just looking for support. She also found out about some online friend and told me that I cant trust them and weird bs like this. She has no idea that some of them I know for more than 2 years and we have gone through a lot together. And im on the internet since im a child I know how to protect myself. after that she started to blame me for “ruining our family” and called me a monster and an animal while beating me. And that’s all until now. Im still talking to my friends, I made another ig account and im trying to hide it as much as possible. i made this post cause I wanna make young people aware of the dangers of coming out. Im not saying that what happened to me happens to everyone. But I wanna make yall realize that your parents wont always react like those parents you see on tik tok sadly. I didn’t mean to scare you or something Im sorry if I did so

i hope this post doesnt make anyone feel bad. i just wanted to tell my story and try to help people

[vibe-raccoon]

Transition Update & Some Struggles:

(Warning, personal post ahead.)

So, it's been about 4 months since starting hrt. The changes are subtle but I can finally start to see them. First, my lashes are way longer than they used to be. I already had thick lashes that just comes with being AMAB, but the length is nice. Second, fat redistribution. My butt is definitely bigger, although nowhere near what I'd like.

More subtley is my face, around my cheeks and nose. It makes me look more like my mom and when I first noticed it I couldn't help but smile. Lastly, breast development. I haven't noticed a real change physically, but that's most likely due to my weight. BUT!... They're sore like a motherfucker!

Them shits hurt all the goddamn time, plus they're super sensitive now. I need to use fabric softener on my laundry now or they chafe and it's really irritating. My nipples and areolas have grown a bit but that's about it.

Now onto more heavy stuff, if you don't want to be depressed stop reading here...

Right now, I've only come out to my immediate family, and by that I just mean the people who I live with. In that time, one of my sisters has outed me twice. The first time was to my very religious and conservative side of my family while she was visiting them. That part of my family now wants nothing to do with me, unsurprisingly, and it hurts... a lot. I was really close to them, and we had really grown close when my dad died a few years ago. So to see that all vanish in an instant sucks.

The second time she did it right in my face, she outed me in front of her friend who was visiting our house for the evening. My sister is bipolar, refuses to medicate, and is a minor. Since I'm currently unemployed, I'm living at home so neither of us can move out. Dealing with such a transphobic, homophobic, racist and all around hateful person is hard to deal with. I don't talk to her, I can't even stand to be in the same room as her for more than a few seconds.

The other things I'm struggling with right now are more internal. It's still so hard, even after almost a year of finally admitting the fact of it, to accept that I'm trans. Even before I knew, I had a name picked out if I were a girl, but hearing come from other people's mouths doesn't feel right... Neither do she/her pronouns. I identified as non-binary for about a year before I realized that I'm a woman, and they/them didn't feel right either. And he/him pronouns are out of the question completely so... I feel like I'm in some kind of gender limbo. I'm definitely not a guy, I'm not an emby, woman it close but not quite there... I think the reason may be that I'm not in my ideal body yet. I am still very much male presenting, hairy and overweight, by like, almost 100 pounds.

I'm hoping that by a year or so from now I'll be in better shape, have gone through some laser hair removal, and I'll be more accepting of myself. But there's a nagging feeling in the back of my mind that's saying what if that feeling never comes. That I'll never experience true gender euphoria and no matter what I do or how I look I'll always hate myself and my body. It's that thought that really scares me, because what can I do then? I've tried everything that I could and it still wasn't enough. I really hope that isn't the case, because I don't know what I'd do if it were... That's it for now, I can't write anymore right now.

[rivetgoth]

I had this friend I met in the Hetalia fandom in like 8th-9th grade who was like, a lot older than me (I was like 12-13 when we met and she was like 17 or so), and we were REALLY close for a really long time, we'd talk and call every day and it got to a point where she was really dependent on me in this awful way where she would like constantly threaten suicide if I didn't answer her texts fast enough and shit like that. She was really rich cuz her dad was a doctor and one time she bought me an entire fucking Xbox One (I did not ask for it like... I'd always been a PlayStation gamer LOL) because she didn't have anyone to play Halo with her. My family still has it and uses it as a DVD player/Netflix machine.

Anyway the really batshit thing about this person (BESIDES the fact that she was like, definitely a pedophile who loved shota and frequently sexted me after she'd turned 18+ and I was like 14 and she also had both a bestiality and incest fetish that she'd talk to me about constantly — I was a kid I had no moral concept of anything and just liked being edgy and feeling mature) was that she was like. A chronic liar who constantly faked identities. And for years after cutting off contact with her I would look back and realize that she had faked even more than I had noticed at the time. The thing is, I knew for sure she wasn't lying about her home life -- Her address, what she looked like, her dad's profession, her age, her house, her pets, etc, were all things I had proof of. But when I knew her she was constantly remaking her Tumblr to escape drama she'd start, and she would constantly make side blogs under pseudonyms and pretend it wasn't her (sometimes it would be random shit like aesthetic blogs under different names or ask blogs for characters or smthn, other times it was like, callout blogs for people she had gotten into drama with where she would pretend to be someone else defending her). I assumed back then that I was always going to be in on it, because she would always tell me whenever she made one of these fake accounts, and sometimes she would encourage me to make a new account too as a sort of roleplay thing where we both pretended to be people we weren't... Until I learned that she wasn't always telling me. Every so often, I would become mutuals with a new account who would start messaging me about my interests and strike a conversation with me. Then something would slip and my "new mutual" would admit that they had actually been my friend all along... Which should have made me immediately cut contact because that's weird as shit, but I was young and she was a close friend, so I would just sorta accept it.

She ended up being like, horrifically transphobic. She got run off her blog twice for being specifically transmisogynistic, first insisting that she was allowed to headcanon canon trans women as feminine men and then on her next blog insisting that lesbians couldn't be attracted to trans women. I was still young and closeted and she was one of my closest friends and was constantly messaging me that the situation was making her suicidal and she was just wording things wrong and totally supported trans people and people just weren’t giving her the benefit of the doubt and she was still learning so I tried to just stay out of it without losing her. Then... I came out as trans lol. She stopped replying to me when I first came out and then made a bunch of vents on her tumblr about how much it upset her and about how “using he/him pronouns for AFAB people is triggering” for whatever fucking reason. She told me her “best IRL friend” who she had introduced me to once on Skype but who never logged in again after and who refused to ever do a group call or anything (definitely another fake account) said that it was irrational for me to expect my friends to respect my pronouns so soon after coming out and that I shouldn’t be upset if I get misgendered. Then she apologized but told me my name and pronouns would never fit me. As you can imagine, as a little baby trans kid who was closeted from my family and terrified of even having come to terms with being trans, I didn’t really have a great defense.

Soon she started being really woke like 2014 style Tumblr SJW to save face, she came out as nonbinary and told me in private it was because she felt bad when people called her cis during discourse (she absolutely wasn't nonbinary) and she coined a "new sexuality" that was "attraction only to people you perceive as feminine, regardless of how they identify" -- what this actually meant was "attraction to cis women and not trans women." She ran an aroace help blog despite not being aroace? And made a bunch of pride flags that I still see around sometimes to this day. She would start fights a lot and try to out-woke people and got into a bunch of drama with other SJW types of the day, got into a bunch of drama with TumblrInAction and Mogai-Watch and shit like that, and she claimed for a short while that she had a headmate (FWIW I totally believe DID is a legitimate thing but like. Trust me on this one.) who was transphobic and that it made her so sad, she told me that it was actually that headmate that had been transphobic before, and every so often her headmate would front out of nowhere and misgender me and use really abusive language like calling me a cunt or a bitch or whatever. She started making these "intersex nonbinary" OCs who she would constantly make porn of under the guise that they were representation for LGBT people who were just like, extremely fetishistic cuntboys and dickgirls (they were “intersex” to explain why they could be “girls with natal penises” or “boys with natal vaginas”).

At that same time, she somehow always managed to have these random, very sporadically active trans women mutuals who were apparently amazing friends of hers, who shared some interests with her but also would defend her when people brought up her past, with these long-winded “Well, I’m a trans woman and I think what she said is perfectly justified and everyone makes mistakes and she’s always been a good ally!!” Then one day some trans woman received an ask from her account where she claimed to be a “black trans woman” (she was, of course, a white cis woman) and she freaked out and claimed she had “been hacked by TiA or 4Chan to make her look bad” — I realize now she had just been sending anon messages pretending to be things she wasn’t and forgot to hit anon LOL. Late in all of this she also got into a bunch of hot water for being really antisemitic and saying she didn’t trust Jewish people because they were just like Christians and like, 5 seconds later she came out as Jewish and wrote this whole long sad vent about how she had had internalized antisemitism and then started going by a random Hebrew name LMAO.

In the end the final breaking point was when I found her secret TERF blog, where she had been making posts for months about how trans men are just insecure women who are trying to escape misogyny by stepping on the backs of “fellow women” and using me as a fucking example, and also saying that me not coming out as a trans man had been “basically rape” since she had been SEXTING me when she was 18+ and I was 13-14+ and that it was traumatic to know someone she had trusted was secretly identifying as a man LMAO. She was also obviously saying all sorts of transmisogynistic things, but also had these really bizarre fetish posts about wanting trans women to fuck her...? I confronted her about it and she literally fucking out of nowhere told me that she was in the emergency room with a mysterious illness that might kill her and she was allowed to have her phone but due to privacy laws couldn’t send a picture as proof. While “in the hospital” she deleted the TERF blog and her personal blog. I had known her for literal YEARS at this point (we had met when I was 12-13 or so and by the time we no longer spoke I was a few months from 17), and I was completely stunned to fucking hear this person trying to pull “I’m in the hospital with a deadly disease” at being confronted for some shit like that LMAO. I made a post about it on my public and another “trans woman friend” of hers logged in to vehemently defend her by saying that there’s nothing wrong with AFAB women being untrusting of trans people because female oppression is uniquely traumatic and that there’s nothing wrong with women expressing their sexuality by sexting minors as long as the minor consents and that I was the real predator for “hiding that I was a man” (remember, I’d been a 13 year old closeted trans boy), before never logging in again... 😭 One of the last times we ever talked was when she demanded I refund her for the fucking Xbox and I refused.

Anyway, the long-term aftermath of that is that a few people online (in some random cringe areas of the internet) who archived some of her antics still think that I also wasn’t a real person, since they caught onto how much she lied about too, so they think I was also a sock puppet and I have no interest in clarifying and making myself known to those people LOL. I have no fucking idea where she is now, she deactivated everything after her being a TERF came out. There’s like, so much more to that I could say because I knew her for YEARS and, like I said, she was one of my “closest friends.” Her parents had wildly expensive pure bred designer dogs that she would make Vines of. She wrote Beatles real person fan fiction. For her birthday one year I made her a shirt on Zazzle with an inside joke about one of her OCs... does she still have that? Either way, she was easily the most batshit person I’ve ever known closely online and I will forever associate the Hetalia fandom with people like that.

[nerdygaymormon]

Sorry, this is a super long ask, but I had some thoughts I wanted to articulate at a person, not just in a post 😅 I had this thought about the article from Elder & Sister Renlund. It was then reinforced when my mom (who I'm not out to) sent me some quotes about God loving his children after she had talked to a family friend who's teen daughter is bi and very angry at the church (And I will admit, the quotes my mom sent we're a lot more loving than anything from the Renlunds). 1

I'm tired of the only reference queer members get about God loving them is that he loves them inspite of their queerness. It's not presented that straight forward always. It's usually presented as "God loves all his children, whether they're following his commandments or not" which isn't a bad sentiment within itself (And maybe that's helpful for some queer people sometimes, idk). 2

I also understand how it can seem a helpful message to share with queer members as a cis straight member. But one of the biggest things that has held me back from exploring my sexuality and gender identity is this idea. By identifying and living openly queer, sentiments like these tell me I am actively rebelling against God. 3

And if I'm actively rebelling just simply by being myself, then why should I keep any other commandments? Sure, maybe if it's just that one commandment I don't follow and I follow everything else perfectly I can still be saved, but I'm still human! The rest of those commandments are still often hard to follow! And if I spend all this time figuring out my queer identity, only to reach heaven and have that taken away... then I don't wanna go to heaven anyway. 4

So maybe our fellow members, when talking to queer members, can stop with the "God still loves you, despite your queerness!" & can instead say "God loves you, queerness very much included!" (Any higher up leadership doesn't get to say this until they get their lives in order & stop being homophobic/transphobic. You can't tell me God loves me if you're out here telling me he doesn't through your policies.) Anyway, this has been bubbling for a little bit and I wanted to get it out of my head 5

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My sense of it is that our top church leaders talk to the members about us. For many years there’s been at least one, often more than one, talk at General Conference that mentions queer people, with gay people getting the most attention. 

The leaders tell the members what they believe the Lord thinks and lament that the world is becoming more welcoming. It can sound harsh. They soften it by saying that God still loves us, we’re still God’s children, but it does feel like an after thought. 

————————— 

It’s very rare to hear a message directly aimed at LGBTQIA+ people. Because of my calling, I’ve gotten to meet several General Authorities, which means I’ve had the unique opportunity to hear how they speak directly to a queer person. 

The first one I met is Elder Joaquin Costa, I told him that I’m gay and he was extra caring and kind to me. He hugged me and told me he loves me. It surprised me. 

The blog post I wrote went viral and someone asked he and his wife about it, and they wept and he said everyone is deserving of Jesus’ love.  

I met Elder Costa again last summer and brought a friend with me. He stayed after hours at the office in order to see us. He hugged me and he’s smiling so big and he keeps mentioning one thing or another from when we met, and my friend leans over and says, “he likes you, like for real, he likes you.” The conversation didn’t go as I’d hoped, but I give Elder Costa credit for listening to us, and it seemed he learned and adjusted. And he kept reaching over and patting my arm, and we’d lean towards each other and bump shoulders, you know, like friends do when you’re telling a joke or something to show you feel friendly towards each other. 

—————————

The second General Authority, we got off to a rough start as he spoke for two hours about the importance of marriage between a man and woman and how necessary that is. The next day he went out of his way to befriend me, even asking that we drop titles and just call each other by our first names. He calls me David and I call him Claudio. By the time he left, it felt like we were friends, although I didn’t know if that’s just how he makes everyone feel.

I took him up on his offer for lunch when I visited Utah in 2018. When we got to his office, he was so excited to tell me that he and my dad have the same birthday, but 2 year apart. Had he been snooping on me, how did he know that? Well, he wondered how many people in the Church had his birthday and he did a search on the churchwide membership list. None had the exact birthday, so he dropped the year, and there was my dad’s name. He knew my last name, so he clicked on my dad to see if we’re related. He had waited eagerly several days for me to arrive so he could tell me. Anyway, he and I had a very real conversation, you know, we got beyond just the niceties. He never contradicted the Church teachings, but did admit there’s a lot we don’t know, there’s many questions for people like me for which we have no answers. He listened and understood where I was coming from and that we have significant gaps in our teachings and our church needs to do better in showing love to LGBTQ people. We ended with a lot of laughs and hugs and I left with a good feeling. 

I met Claudio again last year and brought a friend with me. I didn’t share this in the blog post I wrote, but Claudio was so eager to see me because he wanted to share how knowing me had helped him respond to a father who was worried his daughter had come out as a lesbian. He shared the advice he gave the father and wanted my reaction. It was very good and focused on accepting the situation, loving his daughter as he always had, and she’s got to make some big decisions but to stand by her and always include her no matter what path she chooses. Those are her decisions, his responsibility is to be her loving dad that she can count on. I was stunned that he shared knowing me had caused him to think about the situation of queer members and the choices we face. My friend that I brought is also gay and Claudio pronounced a beautiful blessing on him. And he invited me to his home next time I come to Utah (which due to the pandemic, has been postponed). As we drove away, my friend remarked, “you don’t just invite acquaintances to your home, you guys are officially friends.”

—————————

I also met an apostle. Upon telling him I’m gay his very first comment was that same sex attraction isn’t a sin but bullying people over it is. We were sitting at a table of 8, so our conversation on this subject was brief. My feeling is he tried to give me a sense of hope, although it was all about what wonderful things await me when I’m dead. I wanted to reply that I needed hope in this life, but the whole table had started listening in on our conversation at that point and we moved on and discovered that his wife and I are related. 

—————————

I wish every queer member had these sorts of opportunities to feel love and concern from church leadership. I also wish the Seventy & apostles had more encounters with queer members, I think it’s good for them to process we’re real people with concerns & feelings that aren’t being satisfied and we need to feel the Savior’s love as much as anyone else. 

In the meantime, I will be meeting another general authority at the end of the month and will share how it goes.

[metalbatandzenko]

About me taking breaks from this blog

Hey everyone!

You might have noticed that I’ve been taking intermittent breaks from this blog. I try to announce it when I am, because falling off the face of the earth isn’t exactly courteous of me.

I’ve been getting a lot of asks asking if I’m alright and/or if there’s a reason why I’m kind of shutting myself off.

And here’s the thing. I know I don’t technically owe anyone an explanation for why I’ve been doing that. 

But I do want to give one. 

So think of this as more of an update I guess? Anyways, update under the cut. 

Warning: it’s long.

So, about why I’ve been taking breaks/why I haven’t been as interactive lately.

I’ve been rolling this around for a long time and trying to form the words to express all this.

There’s several major factors going on here, but the TLDR is I have an issue with feeling guilty about everything, even when I have no obligation to a person or situation, and it’s tanking my mental health.

1. The first, and most inconsequential, is I’m back to school. 

I’m a full time college student generally and have been since I started this sideblog. But as of this semester, I’ve officially transferred to a new university, which means school is taking up more of my time. 

I’m also in an honors program now, which means maintaining a 4.0 is—for financial reasons—more important than ever. I’m a bit stressed out, I’m not gonna lie! 

Also, the switch to remote has been a particularly rough one. I’m having a really hard time defining the boundary between “school and homework time” and downtime, which means anytime I spend not doing homework is really just spent with me feeling overwhelmed with guilt that I’m not trying to get ahead in class.

2. The world is kind of going through shit right now.

I’d be a liar if I said the state of the world isn’t killing my motivation. There’s a lot of shit going on, and it’s overwhelming. It feels like the second we slow down to catch a breath, a new tragedy hits. 

3. My depression is kind of killing me.

Like everyone, isolation is fucking with me. It has the fun side effect of piling onto my depression, so I’ve been really having a hard time finding the will to do anything, even things I enjoy. 

This also links to that feeling of guilt over not being productive: I want to do something I enjoy, but I can’t because I’m consumed with guilt over the fact I’m not meeting some perceived “productivity quota”, so instead of doing that work, or doing something I enjoy, I do nothing. I’ve been sleeping more these past few months than I ever have, but I’m still tired all the time.

4. Family matters.

I’m lucky in that I’m quarantined with my parents, so I have some interaction, but that also means that I am quarantined with my abusive father. As a closeted, nb gay mixed-asian, being forced to spend almost all my time with my violently racist, homophobic and transphobic white dad has been uh. not great for my mental health.

He also just finished his second round of treatments and we’re waiting on a prognosis to see if he’s cancer free or not, so I’ve been grappling with my extremely mixed feelings surrounding him (as well as the fact that I’ll likely be outed at some point and have to plan for an emergency exit when I live in a different state than the rest of my family and the majority of my friends in the middle of a pandemic) for the past six months or so.

5. I have been teetering dangerously close to full burnout for about five months now, and I think it’s finally hit.

Like I mentioned, I’m sleeping more than I ever have in my life. I’m tired all the time, and I keep getting hit with waves of just. really aggressive sadness and isolation. I’ve cried more in the past month than I have in uh. years.

Writing fanfic is a hobby. The problem is, my hobby overlaps with my major: I’m a creative writing major, so a lot of my creative energy has been going towards that.

Trying to balance both is a really tricky line to walk, and I just can’t do it right now. I’m struggling enough with class as it is, so content creation has fallen to the wayside, and I feel really shitty about that, especially since it’s something I enjoy.

I also felt like I always had to be “on”/accessible for this blog. (This is a personal problem that stems from growing up in a very service based culture, and one I’m working on, but it required time away and better boundaries on my part.)

6. Increased sense of alienation from the fandom at large.

This is kind of linked to 5.

Being able to keep anon on is really important to me, I know I personally don’t always feel comfortable sending asks to people off anon (I’ve joked before that even with users I’m genuinely friends with, I send asks on anon bc I don’t want them to feel like I’m waiting on an answer). 

I only answer about a quarter of the asks I receive (I won’t say a quarter of the asks people send me given tumblr’s tendency to eat asks). About a third of the asks are: asking me when a fic of mine will be updated/a wip will be posted, accusing me of something, flat out rude/hateful, or asking really invasive personal questions. 

I’ve gotten a few asking me to elaborate on specific traumas that I don’t think I’ve even mentioned on this blog, which is both violating and extremely entitled: as if someone else gets to decide if my trauma is legitimate enough or something.

There are also the asks that I either don’t have the energy to give the love they deserve and avoid because I feel guilty about that, or just flat out I don’t want to answer.

But deciding not to answer the asks sent in good faith makes me feel incredibly guilty and ashamed. This, again, is a personal problem, and one I’m working on.

I also feel my hyperfixation on opm beginning to fade.

But generally, I just feel less connected to the fandom. It’s mostly because my lack of spoons means I’m not reaching out to people as much, but there are other factors too. It sounds dramatic, but I’m still a little shaken by the spat I had with another opm blog a couple of months ago.

And generally? I don’t think the fandom is as active anymore anyways. Some small, self-absorbed part of me still blames myself for some of that, because the timing of the fandom dying down and fracturing came right after the dispute I mentioned.

7. I really want this account to stay associated with happy things, and I’m not feeling too happy right now.

This blog was one I made because I enjoyed opm and wanted to have fun with it. I still love opm, and I love some of the friends I’ve made on here, but I just. I don’t feel the love for the fandom as a whole right now, and given all the negative emotions/things I just laid out, I’m worried about it somehow rubbing off on this blog, both for me, and for the people who follow me.

---

So yeah, that’s what’s going on on my end. I’m trying to stay positive and take care of myself, but I’m beyond overwhelmed, both for reasons related to, and entirely unrelated to this blog.

I want this blog to feel positive, and I worry this feels like I’m fishing for pity. That’s not it. I just need to get it off my chest, and kind of lay out where I am for you all, because I care about you.

Anyways, that’s all I got. I don’t know if I’ll delete this for now, but for the time it’s up, I’ll have it pinned to my blog. 

Love you all, and be gentle with yourself.

[onisiondrama]

Onision: IRL EP: 2 - Onision’s Response videos summary Part 4 (Final part for his Reacts channel responses to episode 2.)

These videos are all over the place with everyone referring to Kai with different names and using different pronouns. I'm just going to refer to him by his current name and pronouns.

In the video summaries, I’m going to refer to James as “Onision” during documentary clips and “James” during his responses. Hopefully that makes things easier to read.

"Onision Documentary Dead Names and Misgenders Trans Man Repeatedly" (7 of 8)

Clip from the documentary plays. BigMoneyOnision says Onision is the most reviled person on the internet and someone needs to hold him accountable. James insults BMO’s appearance and says, "what the hell is this creature?" BMO says he's been following Onision for over a decade. James calls him a loser. They play a clip of Jaclyn Glenn saying Onision calls himself honest as a shield so he can be a dick. James plays a clip of Jaclyn saying she wishes him the best that he has a beautiful family. James says she doesn't sound like a very consistent person. He says one day she hates him, the next she doesn't, and now she is hating him again.

That clip of Jaclyn came from her response to his 2018 public apology to her. Hmm.. first he hates her, then he likes her, now he hates her. Seems inconsistent. 🤔🙄

Steven says Onision's relationship to Kai was his longest and most complicated relationship. James says he doesn't know what he's talking about. He says they're still married to this day. He points out they deadnamed Kai and says Kai hates everyone involved with this documentary. Steven continues to talk about Kai, but every time he misgenders Kai, James pauses it to point it out and tells them to stop misgendering transgender people. Steven says Kai would constantly reply to Onision's twitter. 

In the beginning of the second episode, the documentary has this text:

I don't buy it. Everyone who misgendered and deadnamed Kai during the storytelling parts continued to misgender Kai throughout the rest of the documentary. It's a mess and people call Kai by three different names throughout the whole show. I think the people who made the documentary were too lazy to tell the interviewees to either consistently misgender / deadname during the appropriate times for story telling / timeline purposes or to get everyone to call Kai by his current name and correctly gender him. Everyone who was interviewed seem to be on a completely different page when it comes to talking about Kai.

Steven says by December 2012, Onision and Kai are married and Kai's parents don't understand why a man nearly 10 years older married Kai within months of meeting. James says that's a lie and he's on good terms with his in-laws. He says they all flew across the country to be at "my” wedding. He calls Steven a dumb-ass. James shows a photo from his wedding and points out Kai's father, mother, step-dad, and sister. He says Steven recklessly said they don't support their unity, yet here they are supporting their unity. He says, "you guys are an embarrassment to journalism."

So James' #1 evidence that Kai's family is on good terms with him is the fact that they showed up to their child's wedding 8 years ago? James is conveniently leaving out the multiple videos he's made about how Kai's father tried to break them up while they were dating due to their age gap (17 and 26) and the grudge he’s held against his father for years. James even banned him from their home a few years ago.

"Onision Documentary Slander, Complete Embarrassment to Journalism, Discovery +" (8 of 8)

Doc plays. Clip of Repzion saying he didn't write the letter. They show a clip of Onision saying Repzion is the reason people are afraid to post videos online, because of psycho, creepy stalkers like him. James shows the email from Repzion apologizing to him back in 2017. He says Repzion is admitting to sending his in-laws an email and apologizing for it. He says his in-laws are no-doubt disgusted by him.

I just want to point out, the clip of Repzion was from when James was accusing him of sending his in-laws a physical letter in the mail. Repzion admitted to sending them a Facebook message and denied sending the letter. DSSCTM admitted to sending the letter.

James shows this on screen:

Edwin says Onision was pressuring Kai to date a girl. James says Edwin is being transphobic by misgendering Kai. Steven says we don't understand what was going on behind the scenes, but whoever Kai was is gone. James says they don't understand what went on behind the scenes, yet they make a whole documentary about it. He says himself and Kai don't talk to the doc because they are idiots that self-admittedly talk about things they don't understand.

Shiloh says she watched Onision break Kai like he broke her. James says he never called the cops on Billie or Sarah, yet he called them multiple times on Shiloh because she's a "psycho bitch." He says everyone else he dated were all way better than her. He shows thumbnails of videos he uploaded with Shiloh to his main channel and he says you don't see someone being broken. He says in the "My Girlfriend Is Beautiful" video, you see her have a mental breakdown and him being supportive. He says she thinks she can just eliminate his entire video library that proves their final videos were all positive and she fabricated the entire abuse concept. He says she got caught cheating and getting pregnant with another man's baby and she didn't like getting caught so she fabricated the abuse story. He references his page about Shiloh and goes over points he's already made in previous videos. He says she's proven a pathological evil liar.

Doc plays a clip of James and Kai with Kai looking uncomfortable. James jokingly says, "add that to the abuse reel." Edwin says he believes James is molding Kai. James says Edwin has no excuse for misgendering because they just announced Kai identifies as a guy. He says Edwin continues to misgender Kai because he's a piece of shit.

Shiloh says she no longer believes that Kai is a victim, she thinks Kai is a predator. James says it's a waste of time to speculate and it's an opinion reel.

The doc tells the story of Alicia Kozakiewicz. James says it's inappropriate they brought up a story that has nothing to do with himself and Kai. He says he's a law abiding former US air force cop.

He goes through his Sarah page on his website to prove she wasn't groomed. He says he found more texts and is going to update the page. He says Chris Hansen and anti-o's are morons for believing anything illegal happened.

Alicia K says she believes Onision and Kai found venerable victims. James says they're using the chick who was beaten and violated to speculate they are bad people. Alicia says they became friends with the girls, then they took away their power. James challenges Alicia to do research and look at his Sarah page. He says they blatantly ignore the texts he shared because they want to cash in on a fraudulent #metoo. He says there literally no actual victims.

Text on screen says in 2012, Kai begins an online relationship with 15-year-old fan, Regina. James says Kai was 17 for the majority of 2012, so it was a 2 year age gap. He says the first time he was Regina was on Chris Hansen's interview. He says they apparently dressed up as a dude to be on the show twice. [He plays the same clips as every other time he accused Regina of this. 🙄] He says the documentary admits Kai never met Regina.

I don’t think this needs to be said, but Regina did not pretend to be another person to get on Hansen’s show. Also, James was so upset the documentary misgenders Kai, but he keeps misgendering Regina.

Regina says they initially lied about their age to Kai. Regina told him they were 19 when they were really 15. James says Regina admits they'll lie to your face. He calls Regina a "stone cold liar."

Even though Kai did the same exact thing to James that same year? He lied to James about his age, yet Kai is not a stone cold liar?

Regina says they asked their mom if they could visit Kai, but she said no. James says he doesn't know what Regina is talking about. He says that's news to him. He doesn't know why Regina would visit them. He plugs his Sarah page again.