#second like idk I think we need to get a point where we can accept that humanity and a love of mortality can be a choice someone picks

[dykedvonte]

I hate the stretch lines in the front of Curly's uniform because that means the devs rushed to make a model in like a month or so and thought "They gotta at least know he has huge knockers, gotta know he's got back pain." Cause like what is the thematic importance of his tits having overhang?

What responsibility is that representing? Breast reduction? It shows an inherent greed in his character due to the excess and heshouldletmeholdone and that he clearly is blinded cause if he tries to look down his damn ladder all he's seeing is his own cleavage.

[galacticlamps]

actually ascension needs its own post since that's the one with the most details to speculate over and im starved for soho talk so i will talk to myself if need be

First the cover again, because I kinda can't get over it:

my only thing is that I had been hoping we might get Lizbeth on a cover again since she's never been on one of the boxsets before, despite being the 2nd person credited on all 4 of them (even if that's just alphabetical, still, she's the only one of the four main characters who never makes the cover)

But letting that go...

I know we already kinda knew the brief for this one but damn I didn't expect it to go quite this hard. Maybe that's just because the Parasite & Ashenden covers were (comparatively) similarish to each other and I was so pleased with Unbegotten's, and then got so used to it as the placeholder for Ascension while they kept postponing it, I wasn't expecting anything this colorful or detailed or with what I can't help but register as Fun New Outfits even though these are still like, pretty damn basic as far as costumes go. Still, it's a different vibe from everyone in suits and trenchcoats on every cover, technically. (Oh the woes of being an audio fan such that two characters owning sweaters actually does qualify as new information)

On top of just being visually delightful though, I know we knew religion was gonna be a fairly big part of this one, but I didn't actually expect to get quite this much of it - though I'm glad of it for a number of reasons. The BF twitter already made the ineffable joke so I don't have to, but also yeah I did very much spend all of season 2 episode 4 of good omens half convinced Samuel Barnett & Dervla Kirwan were about to pop up around any given corner (if you will go around being gay supernatural and horrible at your messy bureaucratic jobs in midcentury soho then I'm sorry, this is where my brain's gonna go) - so, fuel to that fire. But in terms of actual important things, at least one of my Soho wishes looks to be being granted because we have a Rev Edward Folgate on the cast list, which must mean we're finally meeting Norton's father, even if his mother & brother don't appear (which they could, technically, I've definitely seen BF not list all the doublings on their cast tabs before). Religion, domesticity, and the nuclear family are all things that absolutely fascinate me when it comes to Norton's character, so getting any amount of story involving his father & his church is something I've been actively hoping for for a long time now.

(I will say I'm a tiny bit bummed Saffron Coomber isn't on the cast list to play Mia again, but I kinda figured she wasn't going to be since Greg Austin's Armitage, who's making his first recurring appearance after originating in Unbegotten, was listed ever since the boxset was announced - presumably if she was also returning, that would've been handled in the same way. But since Unbegotten ended with Lizbeth and Mia going on a date, I still held out hope. Who knows though, maybe things did go well for them and Lizbeth just has a better work/life balance than Norton so she can date someone without them getting dragged into every scifi plot. I know that's not a very common accomplishment for any Torchwood agent, but a gal can hope)

At this point I know I'm completely in the realm of speculation & even wishful thinking, but I'm really really hoping we get some more clues as to Norton's overall timeline in this one, and I have a feeling that even if there's nothing as direct as dates given, the events of a plot like this one are going to heavily influence my personal interpretation of it.

To say that life & death are major themes for the soho crew feels wildly reductive, but even by Torchwood's standards and taking into account its origins as a piece of media with Jack Harkness & his newfound immortality at the heart of it, the living/dead status of this bunch has always been fantastically up in the air to me. Obviously Ghost Mission introduced Norton as kind of a ghost before revealing more obvious ghostly characters later on to which the title might have been referring, but his being from the past did beg the question of his survival into Torchwood's present era all the same, which Outbreak later alludes to much more directly, and his habit of showing up via hologram in multiple stories only further obfuscates any certainty we might have about where & when he definitely can be said to be alive and well. Then you've got Lizbeth and Gideon both being effectively 'brought back to life' via paradoxes that prevented them ever having died in the first place. Again, they are very very far from being the only Torcwhood characters this happens to (for a sprawling EU, it's really rather impressive how often & in how many different ways Torchwood as a whole manages to circle back to being about like. chaotic undead queers at the end of every day. though I suppose that consistency is part of why I keep falling in love with its different iterations again and again). That's without even getting into the question of Norton's dubious fate in God Among Us - and I say dubious because I know some people take that to be his ultimate death, but I personally think that reading something as vague as that as having any kind of finality rather goes against the spirit of this whole world/series, not just because I want him to live. (There are obviously other ways to make him survive/reappear, but I don't see this as a River Song scenario where we can safely assume one of his earlier-released adventures had to happen at the end of his personal timeline). But wherever God Among Us falls for him, he does very much meet God in it - or at least, a god, since the sentinel in Unbegotten is also described as a god of sorts, and even if he doesn't ultimately have the status of the god Jacqueline King is playing there, Unbegotten is still full to bursting with ghosts/undead/came back wrong/echo characters to continue underscoring that life/afterlife theme.

So all things considered, even allowing for the fact that we know Norton's twin hobbies are lying about himself and abusing time travel to suit his own ends/ever-shifting alliances, I find it difficult to believe we could get through a whole 6-part boxset about religion & death without something providing some kind of compelling evidence about where this adventure fits in among his other run-ins with apocalypses and gods and ghosts and dead-but-still-here characters/creatures, so I'm very much looking forward to any further exploration on that front.

And lastly, and least intellectually, I really want to know what the hell 20th-century Torchwood's obsession with Reginalds is. Reading through the cast list, I had to do two separate doubletakes over the character 'Sir Reginald Peebles' - firstly, because I had Reginald Rigsby on the brain, this being Soho (and the other Troughton brother being so active on BF's releases for this same month) - and secondly, because reading this in conjunction with the announcement for the July monthly adventure in which the new main Torchwood guy of the 20s is apparently called Sir Reginald Dellafield, there was a brief moment where I took that monthly release to be a tie-in with Ascension. I don't expect it to be, but damn. was it really so popular a name?

anyways, catch me thinking about those stained glass windows for the next couple months I guess (and knowing Torchwood Soho, for a long long time after it comes out as well lol)

[hildorien]

The whole “Elrond and Elros didn’t actually change when they made their choices,” always feels like people are just looking at Elrond but completely ignore Elros completely shifting his whole personality (at least publicly) to being a king of men. Like, when you choose the gift of men that’s it. Your mortal and your whole line is now mortal. It seems that Elros took that very literally. And frankly, I think that is so much interesting because 1) makes the later numenoreans even more dumb stupid looking 2) actually acknowledges that being mannish is like a thing like Elros comes from very defined cultures and it shows that he loved that side of himself so much that he defined himself by it in return.

[motthe]

OKAY- idk if requesting twice is okay or not- but if you have the time! Can we see more Mel and reader (lumen au or otherwise)? Where reader has what is essentially Amara’s job but more so a bodyguard type? Mel helped them out at one point and now they protect her and help her with whatever she needs! (Like finding a gift for Jayce or Passive aggressively spitting her mother) and she does the same for them with viktor and egotistical higher ups? Basically just them being each others solace, confidant that knows of the others past while helping them get to the future they deserve with Jayce x Mel & Viktor x reader sprinkled in, (first meetings, first signs of affection, etc) for all parties!

(can be ignored if your busy or otherwise dw ;3)

I hope you enjoyed this!!! I took some creative liberties and placed this in S1 arc 1 :)

warnings: gn!reader, mention of scars and sleep problems, non-sexual nakedness (you’ll get it when you read lol)

Mel rose from her desk, the wide reaching window behind her dark. There were always a few days out of the week she would stay late. She never left anything half-finished and if it wasn’t perfect, it wasn’t finished. 

“Fancy a stroll through the Academy?”

You repositioned yourself from leaning against the wall, raising an eyebrow. The woman approaching you was an esteemed council member and a child of Noxus. Above all that, she held a dangerously sharp mind. 

With you, a trained guard from birth and accepted by her bitch of a mother, you two made quite the confidants. 

“Why?” you asked, knowing you were going whether you fancied the idea or not. Where she went, you went. 

“Why not?” Her grin was infectious, but you saw the mischief swimming in her eyes. 

“It’s far past lockup, for one,” you began, grabbing the door for her. Your belt clicked with the movement, the weight of your gun and knives shifting. “We also have no business with the Academy.”

“We may not, but I have a feeling someone does.”

You hummed, your steps shadowing hers for every beat. Every turn down a hall, your eyes were skating for anything amiss. “This wouldn’t have something to do with a certain expelled scientist, would it?”

She hummed, smiling and confident from where you walked adjacent. 

That poor man, you couldn’t help but think. Catch Mel’s eye and you’re stuck under a microscope until she loses interest. 

“Maybe Heimerdinger has stayed late with that assistant of his,” she said, gaze cutting to you. Your eyes narrowed in warning. 

You changed the subject. “What makes you think that Talis fellow would sneak into the Academy the night of his expulsion?”

“His things are to be destroyed tomorrow morning.” 

“If we get all the way to the Academy and you’re wrong—” you complained. 

“A trip to your favorite spa, paid.” She stopped, tilting her head towards you. “And if I’m right?”

You grumbled, rolling your eyes. “I’ll pose for that painting.”

She pursed her lips, flexing her fingers. 

You crossed your arms and bit out, “No.”

“It’s nude or nothing, darling,” she teased. “I need the practice.”

“You need nothing,” you scoffed, continuing in front of her to check the entrance to the council’s building. The usual enforcer’s we’re making their rounds, tipping their hats to you. 

Mel stepped out next to you, shoulder nudging yours. Your sigh trailed into the night air. 

“Fine.”

Her golden freckles crinkled with the grin that pulled at her lips. 

.

“Did you bring a flashlight?” Mel asked quietly. You gave her the flattest expression known to man in response. “May I borrow it, please?”

“No, you may not,” you answered. Even in the dark you sensed her scowl as you passed, taking up the front. “If I need to shoot someone, I need to see.”

“So violent,” she murmured. “Honestly, he doesn’t seem the type.”

“Then he’d make the perfect assassin,” you chuckled, lowering your voice as you opened the door to the staircase. “Besides, we want to go undetected, don’t we?”

“If no trouble is afoot, then I wouldn’t mind a second look at this research,” she revealed, only adding to a long night ahead. 

“What are you expecting to find?” 

She chuckled. “I do love a good surprise.”

You scoffed quietly as you climbed the steps ahead of her. “You would, miss know-it-all.”

Reaching the floor that held Heimerdinger’s office, you glanced through the window on the door before slipping it open. Mel kept her steps light as you both moved through the darkness. As you crept on, you noticed a faint glow reaching around the corner and glanced at Mel, scowling. 

She wore the look of a winner in the blue-tinted of the moonlight shining through the distant window. Slowly, she mouthed the word ‘nude’.

You shook your head, pulling your flashlight out as you motioned her to follow you. The tinkling of keys and the gears of a lock turning left you with one hand on your gun and the other pointing the flashlight forward. You held off on spotlighting the infiltrator when you noticed two figures sneaking around Heimerdinger’s door. 

“So far so good,” came a familiar ethnolect. You clicked the flashlight on to confirm your suspicions. 

Oh, shit. 

Jayce Talis and Viktor, of all people, were caught red handed, hands guarding their eyes as they were overwhelmed by the brilliance. 

“Willing to risk exile for your endeavor,” Mel spoke, taking up the space on your right as she stared the two men down. “That’s quite the conviction.”

“A counselor,” Talis breathed. 

Viktor chose another path, turning towards the door in a dramatized show of confusion. “Wait a minute, this isn’t my bedroom…”

“Guess those aren’t your keys either?” you hummed, moving your hand off your weapon as he looked up at you. 

“Actually, they are permitted to be in my possession,” he corrected as he stood from his crouch.

“Just like you’re permitted to be here, past lockup,” your eyes fled towards Talis before focusing his pinched gaze “with a freshly expelled student.”

“Eh,” he shrugged, “that one, not so much.”

“Please,” Mr. Talis begged, stepping in front of Viktor, eyes locked on Mel. You positioned yourself between them, hand back on your gun as you pointed the flashlight towards the man. He winced, only passing you a slight flare in retaliation. “We can prove that it works.”

“You couldn’t do so earlier today,” Mel pointed out, expression deadened and feigning disinterest. Seen you had two actors in your midst. “How is tonight any different?”

“We figured out how to stabilize it,” Viktor explained. 

“I’m surprised to find the professor's assistant mixed up in this,” she murmured to you. 

“No, he’s my new partner,” Talis argued, placing a hand on Viktor’s shoulder. Your stomach tightened. 

“Even if you managed to prove your theory the council would destroy it.” Mel burst their bubble with brutal honesty. 

“Heimerdinger will recognize the potential,” Viktor stated. 

“He already does,” she told him, “it scares him. It scares them all.”

“What about you?” Talis asked, determined. 

“I recognize that any worthwhile venture involves risk…” 

Your head turned a second before theirs, picking up on the whistling and footsteps. The night guard was heading this way. Harold. He was always the noisiest, sweetest thing. The old man refused to retire so they put him up here at the Academy. 

“There’s your risk,” you muttered. 

“Counselor,” hissed Talis, “this technology, it’s real and no matter what happens here it’s going to change our world. We should be the ones to lead it—Piltover, the land of progress, equality, innovation. I know it sounds impossible, but when have we ever let that stop us. Please, just give us a chance!”

You stepped back beside Mel, meeting her eyes. She let the two men sweat a bit as the footsteps grew closer. 

“One night. Gentleman,” she said slowly, turning to leave. “Impress me or I’d suggest you pack your bags.”

As she walked away, you noticed the awed look in Talis’ eyes and nearly groaned. She always had to draw in the big dreamers. 

You threw Viktor a sly smile, handing him the flashlight seeing as that poor pen light wasn’t going to be much help. “Good luck, Goggles.”

You switched it off as he accepted it, fingers brushing as you left them to hide in the darkness. You caught up with your principal just as she was moving around the corner.

“Harold!” she sang, nearly sending the sweet old man into a heart attack. You held back a laugh as Me” moved him back down the hall and away from the chaotic scientists behind you. 

Left to their own devices, Viktor clicked on your flashlight and got back to opening the five-bolt door. As he crouched back down, Jayce took over holding the light for him. 

“So,” he murmured, back to the silence of an empty school, “you and the bodyguard are a thing?”

Viktor nearly dropped the keys. “Excuse me?”

“Goggles?” 

“It is a long story,” he whispered, pushing the door open as the last lock unlatched, “and we are not the ‘thing.’ Now get in.”

.

“We’re to return before dawn.”

You turned from toweling your hair to stare down Mel in her bubble bath. She hasn’t bothered to wait until you were done in your own bathroom to fetch you. She wasn’t usually so clingy, but you knew under that cool facade she was nervous of what was to come with the scientists. 

“Why do we have to lose precious sleep over this?” you grumbled, grabbing your toothbrush. 

“You?” she laughed, splashing her water over her knees. “You barely sleep as is.”

“Yeah, well,” you spit the mess of toothpaste and spit from your mouth, “blame your mother for that.”

“I blame her for many things.”

The scars over your body burned, but not from sticky, humid air. You both were quiet for a time. 

“I didn’t expect him to be there.” You turned around, pulling yourself up on the marble counter to look at her. “Viktor, I mean.”

“Guess he saw whatever you did in Talis.”

She puckered her lips at you, arms dropping over the rim of the bathtub as she laid her head on them. “Is that jealousy I hear, darling?”

“Shove it,” you scoffed, moving to do one last check of the place before heading to your room. “Also, he was definitely staring at you as you left.”

“Then you have no reason to worry.”

“Goodnight,” you bit out, shutting the bathroom door on her echoing giggles. 

.

When you knock on Mel’s door she’s back in the same clothes she wore hours earlier. It’s an hour to dawn and barely takes three minutes to reach the Academy. You hadn’t slept a wink.

Offering her a coffee, you both finished them before you were out the door. The guards at the gate gave you groggy second glances, but questioned nothing. 

You sensed the alarm in the empty halls, banging thundering through the stairwell as you both took one glance at the other and sped up your pace. 

You held an arm out as you glanced around the dark corner, eyes widening at the new blue-tinted glow that shined from Heimerdinger’s office. 

“You’ve actually done it…” The professor's voice was beyond astonishment. “But just because it can be done, doesn’t mean—will you please stop hovering?!”

“I’m not sure how to do that sir!”

Your mask nearly slipped. It was the first time you’d ever heard Viktor so…gleeful. 

Mel stalked down the hall, eyes bright with purpose. It reminded you of younger days before she slowed her steps, bringing out Counselor Medarda

“This is not what Piltover’s future looks like, my dear boys!”

The click of her heels alerted everyone as she pushed through the guards, the light of the room washing over her form. 

“That’s for the council to decide,” she stated, head turning from side to side as she observed the room. Being right behind her, you allowed awe to slip at the twinkling bits wandering the room and high above were those troublesome scientists. “Perhaps it’s time for the era of magic.”

“Uh, Hextech,” came Jayce Talis, hair sprawling out with the anti-gravity field he was caught up in. “For the era of Hextech.”

Your eyes slid from his to hers, the slender grin on her lips speaking more than praise in his direction. Rolling your eyes, you couldn’t help as they caught on Viktor who looked far too happy to be completely suspended upside down. He kept throwing little objects nearby towards the glistening orb at the center of the room, watching it with interest as it blipped from one side to the other. 

Some round object hovered a bit too close on the opposite side he was facing. You couldn’t help but laugh when it was transported to his side, knocking into his forehead with enough force to make him jump. 

Your voice alerted him, eyes finding yours as you cleared your throat and fixed your metaphorical mask back into place. 

“How long will this last?” asked Mel. 

The young men looked at each other for an answer that neither seemed to have. You eyed the bright orb between them, noticing it was slowly but surely shrinking in size. 

“I suggest you find your way down before you find out,” Heimerdinger called. 

“Right,” Jayce said, waving his arms until he was able to float to the ceiling. He pushed off it, getting about halfway down before gravity seemed to take hold again. He just missed a smaller table in the corner, landing with a painful grunt. 

Heimerdinger tested the space first, his hair seemed to react a bit, but he was able to make his way towards his previously expelled student with ease. You wandered in next, feeling your hair lift from your scalp as the guards were waved away by Mel. She ordered them to fetch the other council members for an emergency meeting in a few hours time. 

“The power source is growing smaller,” you warned Viktor who was still playing around with it near the roof. 

“Yes, without the cranking its energy is used up,” he muttered, more to himself than you as another object flashes through it. It shrunk by at least an inch. “Still such raw power…”

The bits of light hovering around the space were closing in. Your hair returned to its natural state. 

“Uh, Viktor,” Jayce called. 

“How big can the object be?” the man hummed, tossing a book to the orb. You stood below him, eyeing where he’d fall. The dots connected just as the book went through and the blue light went out like a candle flame in the wind. Jayce yelled. 

Your back connected with Heimerdinger’s desk, sending it scraping back in a chorus of something else moving just as gravity claimed Viktor. He knocked the air out of you as he landed on top of you. The ground shook as something else hit the ground nearby. 

You winced as the office lights burst above, taking in a slow, groaning breath. 

“Good heavens,” came Heimerdinger. “Are you three all right?”

Turning your head from the mess of Viktor’s hair in your vision, you saw Jayce lying face down on a tipped over chair with his hand fist glowing. 

“Yeah,” he said into the ground, “just thought I’d catch the crystal before it took out another building.”

“My apologies,” Viktor murmured, expression twisted in discomfort as he pushed himself off your chest. 

“S’fine,” you choked out, still catching your breath. “We’re all victims of physics.”

That broke the tension, or perhaps the adrenaline was still running high amongst the men because they both busted out into hysterics. Well, Jayce did. Viktor just chuckled and focused on getting his entire weight off of you. 

You slowly sat up, rubbing the back of your head where it had clipped the damn desk. 

“Did you hit it?”

You glanced at Viktor, dropping your hand. “I’m good, Goggles. Better than you would’ve been crashing into straight wood.”

“It’s pure oak!” preened Heimerdinger as he scuffled over, tapping the surface. “Very durable.”

“I’ll say,” you grumbled, feeling a headache coming on. 

“You should get that checked. You might have a concussion,” Viktor said, resting his back against the bookshelf behind him. Jayce had finally gotten to his knees, looking a bit bruised as far as his ego went when he glanced at Mel by the door. 

“I’ve seen them take a hammer to the head,” your principal chuckled. “They’ll be fine, I assure you.”

“It’s not bleeding,” Heimerdinger hummed. You balked at him peering around the desk. “How’s your eyesight?”

“Clear,” you said, getting to your feet. “Thank you, professor.”

Viktor remained on the ground. 

“Are you all right?” you asked. “I’m not the softest landing.”

“I’m unharmed,” he answered, nodding behind you. “My cane, however, will need to be replaced.”

You followed his line of sight and frowned at the white stick, cracked in two. 

“I’ll buy you a new one,” Jayce promised as he walked over, offering a hand. 

“I'll see you at the meeting,” Mel announced, eyes piercing the founder of Hextech before moving to his partner’s as he got to his feet. “Both of you.”

You moved the desk back into place, nodding to the professor as he thanked you. 

Hearing your name, you turned as Viktor offered your flashlight. 

“You dropped this,” he murmured, a smile hiding in the corner of his lips. 

“I’m sure it’s broken after that fall,” you said, checking it. The light sputtered before going out. 

“Allow me to fix it, then.”

You blinked at him, smiling at the back and forth before clearing your expression and handing it back. Your fingers brushed. 

“Sure,” you said, following after Mel. “I’ll grab it another time.”

Out in the hall, she smirked at you, unabashed. 

“You couldn’t have had the meeting in the afternoon?” you complained, rubbing your head. 

“I have an appointment at the spa with a friend of mine,” she replied. 

You sighed and kept your mouth shut, leading her out of the building and back home to freshen up again. 

“You know I might need a second opinion when I’m painting you,” she hummed as you both eased into the early light of dawn. “Viktor wouldn’t happen to be a student of the arts as well, would he?”

“You’re lucky I’m the one protecting you and not the one after you,” you growled. 

Back in Heimerdinger’s office, the men were helping clean up the mess they left behind while Heimerdinger lectured them, observing all the while from his chair. 

“Didn’t know you did repair jobs,” muttered Jayce as he shoved a book back into its shelf. 

Below him where Viktor was attempting to put the ‘cranker’ as it were back together, the man rolled his eyes. “I felt I owed it to them seeing as I failed to take care of it.”

“Right, of course.”

Viktor didn’t enjoy the amused silence seeping from his newly acclaimed business partner and slowly tilted his head to glare up at him. “Do you have something else to say?”

“Nope,” answered Jayce, eyebrows bouncing up, “nothing at all, Goggles.”

Viktor sighed. All it took was one day of brain fog and a run-in with you to earn him such a distasteful nickname. At least it taught him to check his goggles were off before leaving the lab from now on.  

“No slacking!” said the professor, swiveling in his chair to shuffle the papers scattered around his desk. “Honestly, I’m not sure how Counselor Medarda’s guard moved this desk. I thought it was bolted to the floor!”

Viktor swallowed as Jayce whistled. 

[fitzjamesbulletwound]

if you ever wanted to hear my every thought on fitzier you're in luck because here it is! this is extremely long so it's going under the cut and if you read it all, i love you

fitzier- shame, performance, and the freeing ordeal of being known 

oh man okay here we go everyone, if this sucks or is too stupid or too anything feel free to kill me

essentially what i want to try to convey here is that the reason crozier and fitzjames go from enemies to friends to lovers is because they both see each other and see themselves in each other in a way that frightens and compels them, hence the early enmity with a tinge of familiarity and desperation to connect thrown in. with the inevitable evolution of their relationship i really think it becomes about learning to be vulnerable with one another, to give each other space to be who they need to be, both to each other and their subordinates, and finally coming to a point where fitzjames, the most performative insecure character in the story (to me), bares his entire soul to crozier, whose own character development allows him to give james the gift of acceptance and compassion in that moment. i’m not going to go episode by episode like i did with my joplittle post but this is more or less in chronological order with maybe a few exceptions idk i get possessed when i write this stuff

the first scene we’ve got to look at is of course the dinner scene. james is absolutely showboating like no other in this scene but in his body language you can see he isn’t confident at all- fidgeting, gesturing, exaggerating, the voice he tends to put on in early episodes prevalent. but when crozier interrupts him you can see for a split second that james was actually excited to get attention from him until he realizes what he’s saying. in the early episodes james craves crozier’s attention and approval so badly because he knows that crozier doesn’t bullshit and he sees things for what they are and isn’t afraid to voice that either and despite the fact that this sometimes makes james uncomfortable as it is not in line with victorian ideals of emotional expression and masculinity, i think james, given the kind of man he is at the start of the story, craves the recognition of a man who he knows would see everything in him. early early early foreshadowing and story weaving for the cairn scene where he realizes “he can tell this man anything. it is possible”

what i also find fascinating about early james and francis is that they still refer to one another in a very familiar way despite the fact that they openly dislike each other- it’s always first name basis even when they’re arguing. also interesting to note that crozier in the beginning will often call him “fitzjames” in front of others when he’s discussing him when he’s not in the room, but later on he makes sure to always use his proper title when he’s talking about him in front of the men- showing james respect even when he dislikes him. i think he doesn’t understand at the time that james’s familiarity with him is an attempt at respect as well (the whole ‘don’t ever call me francis again’ scene). it might be a stretch but i do get the sense that from the very beginning they both tried at being friendly, even just for the sake of maintaining order in command.

when francis says “here technology still bends the knee to luck james” in ep 1 he says it with almost a mentor-like cadence. like yeah they’re both being a little bitchy here but god knows franklin wasn’t giving fitzjames any real or pertinent advice about surviving and navigating the fucking arctic so i find it interesting that crozier almost gently reminds him that yeah they’re making decent progress but that it would be foolish to let their guard down

one of my favorite early fitzier scenes is after dinner when crozier, franklin, and fitzjames are all on deck and fitzjames like sidles up to crozier and looks him up and down and just goes “goodnight francis” with that smirk on his face- he was trying so hard to flirt with him while also being an insufferable bitch with “try to shake the brown study���. but also james lingers so long waiting for francis to say something to him and then shakes his head and walks away to go bitch to franklin about him- i think he is truly hurt in this instance along with being angry and annoyed. and i love that complication because on one hand, i do think that fitzjames thinks that crozier owes him friendship or at the very least recognition because of who james believes himself to be, or at least who he’s trying to be- like he DOES probably see crozier as being beneath him as an irishman but i do think he genuinely wants his friendship and approval as well, for self serving reasons but not entirely. it’s about fitzjames and his desire to be seen by everyone around him in a certain light but also about his desire to be seen specifically by crozier because of who crozier is and how he acts in contrast to everyone else around them

next on the agenda is “dramatic opening shot”... fitzjames girl you are the most dramatic man in the fucking room. the projection is crazy. what this scene reveals most importantly i think is that another thing about francis that james is secretly very envious of is his ability to openly disagree with franklin. there are so many moments later on where you can see that james doesn’t fully believe in what franklin is saying or commanding (the way he looks at him when they realize they are trapped in the pack, the ways he looks at him when he tells fitzjames to escort silna off of erebus right after her father has died) and i think that he envies francis’s ability to challenge franklin and not care what the consequences are. anyway the staredown during this scene is crazy, the tension??

moving on… beginning of ep 1 crozier says “not if fitzjames is with us” in reference to jop saying dinner will be over before he knows it, and at the beginning of ep 2 fitzjames says “do you think francis will honor us with his presence today”- for two people who allegedly hate each other they sure do think about each other and find reasons to bring each other up in conversation a lot! 

ahh the scene with silna’s father- fitzjames is so interesting to me in this scene and really illustrates one of my favorite things about him in the earlier episodes which is that when he goes silent his face journeys are amazing and really convey his true feelings that he won’t say out loud for various reasons. he watches crozier so much in this scene and looks to him for understanding and guidance which is also interesting because i do think that in this scene he’s watching silna, a woman who he probably sees as subhuman and alien, reacting with such grief and tenderness to her father’s death and probably thinking of his relationship with his own father. i know a lot of people speculate that he was just feeling empathy for her there and i do think that’s part of it but i think that to show that in his mind would be to out himself as being “not fully english”. i think i make this point later on in the story too but fitzjames really does that classic white supremacist thing of distancing yourself from “otherness” in order to align yourself with imperialist beliefs and status- he does it with silna and he does it with crozier. sorry this is also turning into my fitzjames character study lol.

the scene where crozier walks out after his big blow up with franklin… i get that james really didn’t have any place to try to hide the fact that he was eavesdropping but i find it so interesting that he decides to turn to face francis and look him directly in the eye. from what we can see of his expression i personally think there was at least a small amount of sympathy there. another attempt to extend friendship and familiarity while actively participating in crozier’s humiliation… god i hate him lol. and the face that james is making when francis first walks out before he turns around is contemplative, not like smug or triumphant or anything like we might expect given how much he seems to dislike crozier at this point. and francis looking back at him… there’s no anger there, just sadness and humiliation and it sucks. i would truly do anything to be able to see james’s face there, in the script it says that crozier can tell how much james heard from the look on his face which like??? could mean so much.

okay the face journey when francis walks into the erebus wardroom after sir john dies… his eyes stay on fitzjames who’s obviously extremely distraught and i wonder if crozier has ever seen fitzjames show genuine emotion up until this point? crozier then looks to blanky, who also looks to fitzjames almost as if to say “look at him, attend to him” and the sorrow and vulnerability on francis’s face when he looks again to james who is of course also showing a vulnerability we haven’t seen from him before. i love the note in the script that fitzjames isn’t used to being this candid or vulnerable in front of a man he doesn’t respect but he does it anyway. and i don’t think he knows how much sympathy crozier does have for him despite how callous he may come across when he says to send out the rescue parties. they both just fail so spectacularly at communication and expression early on, it’s crazy to see

when francis begins reading from the eulogy and stumbles over his words fitzjames gives him a very sharp look… i think he clocks his alcoholism starting to really affect him right away but may also be looking to see if the stumble is due to emotion or the alcohol. ugh and the look he gives him at the end too… it’s so piercing and there’s an anger to it as well. almost a “please prove me wrong but i don’t believe at this point that you will”. because for better or worse now they are linked, intertwined, married and they have to find a way to make it work.

ohhhh the fitzier dinner scene my beloved… “as i climbed the ridge” is such a parallel to james’s chinese sniper story scene!! AND this time it’s fitzjames who derisively interrupts crozier. The parallels, the callbacks… the look he gives fitzjames is crazy when fitzjames says “you should curb that for now” but what i find the most interesting about this scene is that the script makes a point to say that fitzjames was being sincere when he said that to crozier- there is care and concern there underneath the frustration and anger. and then it’s also wild that in that moment, fitzjames clearly reminds crozier of sophia. the way the narrative almost shifts to replace crozier’s love interest (sophia) with his burgeoning relationship with fitzjames is soooooo. i just love this scene because they are both trying so hard to be vulnerable and open with one another but they are both failing so spectacularly just like in the scene after sir john dies. they don’t have the respect and rapport between them yet to back up what they desperately want from each other- a connection. a camaraderie. leadership and capability. fitzjames tries to be sincere in his concern for francis but it is overshadowed by his frustration and anger towards what he views to be a sour outlook from crozier, and crozier attempts to be vulnerable with james by sharing about sophia only to be met with the knowledge that franklin has humiliated him yet again by discussing that topic with other people aboard the ship. and i think fitzjames does truly pity francis in that moment but it also frustrates him that that is the reason he’s here, for love, not for a yearning for adventure or glory- which i would venture to say is why fitzjames is there. fitzjames went on the expedition to prove his worth and francis went for love and they both ended up finding exactly those things from one another i’m dead.

oh and also why the fuck does fitzjames arch his slutty back against the wall when francis walks out of the room like that one scene in hannibal y’all know what i’m talking about. okay and i forgot about the way fitzjames jabs his finger at francis all up in his personal space which is just so unlike him. it is also worth noting that francis doesn’t get angry at this- he actually stills for a second and then continues to tell james what he was going to tell him. again there’s that strange familiarity they have despite the fact that they hate each other at this point. and that’s to say nothing of how they’re sitting in the first place which is so close to each other idk it just seems a little crazy to me?

i also find it so so interesting how james chooses to be honest with francis once he accidentally reveals that franklin discussed the whole sophia thing with him- he could’ve deflected and said like “oh yeah he mentioned it in passing’ or something like that but he chose to tell francis the truth of the conversation! francis really brings out an honest and candid side to james that we don’t see him put on for anyone else and i think it’s because deep down he knows that no matter how shitty, francis is always going to respect being told the truth vs. all of the obfuscating language that is so typical of the time. i think this is also why in the next episode francis insists that everyone leaves after he punches fitzjames and fitzjames is very resigned to it as well- they both know that it’s going to be ugly but they both want to hash out the truth of the situation for better or worse- like yeah they are at each other’s throats and they want the catharsis of screaming at each other because they’re so mad at each other here but i also think they crave honesty and candidness in their interactions- james because he feels like a fake and francis because it’s his nature- but both because it’s what they want from each other. and back to the dinner scene- just another look of genuine hurt from fitzjames when crozier says “keep your pity” plus the whole reason crozier even says that- i don’t think he expects pity from anyone at this point and doesn’t know how to respond to it.

in the scene where fitzjames says they should question silna about the creature crozier makes a point to say he agrees with him- he does this a couple of different times throughout the show and i think it’s a very small but important detail about how even when they aren’t on the best terms he makes sure to show james respect in front of the officers. and like yeah they end up yelling at each other here but i think that’s more james’s grief showing (again he shows emotion in front of/because of francis) and francis’s stress showing as well- that “we’re all exhausted” is very aimed at james but also an attempt to explain his own state of mind. they’re trying!!!!

the lashing scene- i don’t think we’ve ever seen fitzjames actually afraid of crozier but he definitely is here. he’s clenching his hands so hard throughout the whole scene and he keeps glancing at crozier as he allows the lashing to go on and even nervously gulps at one point. i think this along with crozier’s worsening addiction is a huge catalyst for where we find them and their dynamic in ep 5.

and speaking of which- at the beginning of the episode you can really see how their communication has just completely broken down. edward is basically bridging the gap between them and the resentment is growing. i know that the alcoholism is part of it, we can only assume that fitzjames started to keep his distance once he could tell it was getting bad, but i also think a lot of this is fall out from the lashing and how it affected the way fitzjames felt about crozier as stated earlier. and another aspect of the widening gap between fitzjames and crozier is how erebus is the very picture of order while terror is literally and figuratively falling apart 

the fact that fitzjames told collins to watch out for crozier running out of alcohol on terror is further evidence that fitzjames was around a bit to witness crozier’s alcoholism getting really bad and isolated himself after that. he’s angry but he knows it was coming

ugh man the fight scene- the fact that james came himself, alone, to terror to talk to francis as a friend (straight from his own mouth in the script of their argument) about the alcohol issue. even though james is furious and stressed and shouldering the whole expedition, he still attempts to care for francis, it just ends up blowing up in his face and that’s when he lashes out. the way he says “francis” at first before crozier freaks out on him is in such a sincere and gentle tone and just the fucking genuine hurt in his face and his tone of voice when francis tells him to never call him by his first name again. fitzjames cared when francis was at his fucking lowest but still held him responsible and that’s love baby.

the body language is crazy when they’re yelling at each other or i guess when fitzjames is reading francis lol- and the way crozier can’t take his eyes off fitzjames when he’s telling everyone to get out. he’s so ready for this fucking throw down because both of them have been holding this in for so long. crozier is amped up but fitzjames is resigned to finally getting it all out in the open. he wants it to happen and he knows it needs to. even after getting punched in the mouth by him (i don’t think it’s any accident that fitzjames literally bears a scar from that punch and that it comes back open when he’s dying of scurvy) fitzjames still calmly tells everyone yes get out and says what he needs to say. i love the transcript of their argument because it’s so brutal but it really illustrates a kind of fucked up intimacy that we aren’t 100% privy to between them. crozier knows exactly what to say to james to hurt him- telling him he doesn’t have friends, he has admirers and that james has always been mad that he isn’t one, that james is a coward despite the fact that james is facing this down no matter what it takes in order to literally save crozier’s life; and james knows that all he can do is soldier through and lay the truth of what is happening on francis in a way no one else has dared to except for silna minutes before. james really goes out of his comfort zone- being honest and sincere and vulnerable for the sake of the expedition but also for francis. and i’m reading this back and wondering if i’m being too generous to james here but tbh he had every right to be this angry at francis at this point in the story! 

ha fitzjames walks into the “i need to dry out meeting” looking all submissive and contrite… but for real his face is so open and entreating in this scene. he’s still annoyed but he wants so badly for things to go right. and you can see in francis’s expression that he is so ashamed to have to ask him 

mmm and part of fitzjames coming to love and respect crozier is seeing jopson’s devotion to him in this scene… he’s never seen crozier be admired the way franklin was and i think this is a whole new way for him to see him. and just in general here i think that james “reshuffles everything he thought about the man” and he admires crozier for the way he put his humility and vulnerability in front of him finally and admitted to his wrongs, something i also don’t think franklin would ever do and didn’t ever do, to his and the entire crew’s demise. fitzjames followed franklin and looked up to him in the pursuit of his own vanity and the narrative he tells himself to cover the shame, but he learns to respect and love francis because he watches his evolution as a captain and as a man without any of the obfuscating that he’s used to from authority figures. he watches francis claw his way out of his own shame, the shame that drives him forward and i wonder what kind of ideas that gave fitzjames and how it influenced his own decision to share everything about his past with francis later

what i love about the opening scene of ep 6 is that we see how fitzjames’s leadership has been influenced by franklin and francis but specifically how he is acting more like francis- he does do a little bit of the whole “how dare you bring up anything unpleasant” thing when he yells at jirv for mentioning the number of men and when he does the whole “oh it’s just winter, we’ll feel better with the first sunrise, encourage the men with that” thing but it’s interesting because although we’re hearing echoes of franklin here, fitzjames is still trying to be more honest and open to feedback than franklin was. he doesn’t exactly take jirv’s advice on rationing but he does ration a bit. he is doing the whole toxic positivity thing with his “use that to encourage the men” line but he is also recognizing how hard everything has been for everyone and using an actual tangible event to lift spirits rather than referring to meaningless bullshit about god and country. and the simple fact that he seeks blanky’s advice and knowledge is more than sir john would ever have done in a scenario like this. he understands from blanky’s story about ross that he himself hasn’t been doing enough to combat the horror of their situation for the men, he understands that he must do more. even the way he asks ‘what do you mean’ when blanky says ross had no sympathy for the ill. to not care for the ill is an alien concept to him. tt’s so interesting because fitzjames occupies a space not dissimilar to francis’s- he has access and power in the hierarchy of the discovery service but, within his own mind, he is still an outsider. crozier on the other hand is a visible and tangible outsider due to his birth and his nationality. everyone can see it and i think that’s also part of why fitzjames is so antagonistic towards francis in the beginning- the projection goes crazy and in the true spirit of colonialism and white supremacy, james believes that if he can make himself as far apart from someone like francis as possible and align himself with men like franklin and barrow despite sharing way more similarities with francis than he does with them, he can succeed in upholding himself as the vision of victorian masculinity and social worthiness that he so desperately tries to emulate- this is what i was thinking about during the scene with silna’s father where he’s reluctant to fully show his (partial) sympathy to her

the line from the script that kills me is when it says a clock has begun for fitzjames once he discovers the blood in his hair… god it kills me, he knew he was dying for months. for literal months and who knows if he even told anyone but… i do think he had to have told francis at some point. it makes me so sick, it’s literally why the cairn walk scene happens- he knew he was dying, he knew it and one of the last things he wanted before he died was for someone to see him, truly see him flaws and mistakes and vanity and all before he died. and he wanted that person to be francis

gotta include the scene where james tells edward that francis was right about walking out- this is a huge turning point from ep 1

it’s so funny that when crozier and fitzjames see each other at carnival you can tell james is like “oh shit i’m in trouble” but crozier is just slightly amused seeing him like that and even though he finds the carnival strange and sees how reckless it was, he doesn’t chide james or the men about it even though that’s cleary what james is expecting. crozier empathizes with their longing for home and their need to do something happy and uses that momentum to tell the men about walking out and doing his best to reassure them about their chances. the way fitzjames looks up at him and nods along with him- i don’t think we’ve seen fitzjames look at him like that yet up until this point. he is seeing francis for who he can be as a competent captain and we are seeing crozier really step into that role. i also think that francis was relieved that fitzjames saw the urgency in walking out and that he wasn’t going to have to convince him the way he would’ve had to convince franklin. their leadership is finally syncing up here, built on humility (francis admitting he had an addiction and choosing to do something about it, fitzjames admitting how wrong he was about francis and his use of caution and logic) and respect (i do think crozier respected fitzjames for trying to build morale to the best of his ability and i think fitzjames respected francis finally behaving like the captain he needed him to be) 

during the fire there’s a small moment where james is frozen- no doubt from ptsd which he deserves- and francis sends him ahead to look for an exit, telling him to go. he fucking loves him!!!!

poor fitzjames.. like yes the ghosts of his colonial past and all that of course which i will never not fully support him being subjected to but damn. and i don’t think he shrugs francis off because it’s francis or because he’s angry with them, he is punishing himself and francis sees that and lets him do what will help ease his own guilt and pain. tt is a moment of understanding between them i believe- fitzjames showing vulnerability in front of a man he now respects while adding another failure to his own personal checklist he keeps against himself (i can only imagine he does anyway). francis’s attempt to show him care and understanding while not undercutting his usefulness is also such an inspired choice for what he knows of fitzjames. you can really see the care starting to sprout between them here. i can only imagine what the rest of the winter was like but i feel like by episode 7, their dynamic has just completely changed, their entire vibe is different. and their love couldn’t have happened until they left the ships so it came at the worst and best time. 

and by ep 7 their dynamic has just so completely shifted. even the fact that they are supervising the packing for the walk together and this may be real delusional hours but sending edward ahead to make the first camp instead of one of them going is a little interesting to me. i believe he’s technically the next in line for leadership after fitzjames but like did francis and james want to spend time together? with crozier finally dried out and knowing james’s time is almost up? them finally in a comfortable and friendly place? i love their conversation during the packing scene because fitzjames is voicing a concern to francis who calmly explains his reasoning and when fitzjames continues to press his own doubts they remain civil, familiar, acknowledge one another’s thought processes etc. a scene like this could NEVER have happened in episode 1 or 2. i looooong to know what they were like together during the winter after carnival 

you all know i am INSANE about the fitzier hand holding scene, no one can match my freak on this. tt makes my stomach flutter every time i see it. it is my pride and prejudice hand clenching scene. first i want to acknowledge the quote from the script- “at one point, the only thing keeping fitzjames from sliding back into oblivion is crozier’s hand, but half the importance about the act is that fitzjames reached for it.” this KILLS me more than anything else from the script. and honestly at this point in the story i am becoming convinced that james told crozier about the scurvy, they knew the whole fucking time, they knew. they are literally marching to their deaths, against all odds still going, still trying and they are falling in love. the way james gazes up at francis in awe when he sees the offered hand and doesn’t stop looking at francis when he is up on the ridge. crozier doesn’t even turn to look at james, but he does make sure to stop and wait for him and extend the hand that he knows that james needs. Based on honestly even just this alone i am convinced that crozier knew about the scurvy already. there’s no fucking way he didn’t. and then the way james grabs francis’s jacket and holds on while they stare at each other, crozier smiling- it’s so interesting to me because it very much tells of finding an excuse to touch crozier again, as if he was so in awe of the touch that crozier initiated a few minutes before that he needed it again. he was trying to find a way to touch him again in that “this has to be acceptable by victorian standards of emotional and loving expression” way. and crozier accepts it! he smiles, he meets his gaze. there’s triumph there. and don’t think i didn’t fucking notice that the hand that francis keeps is the hand that held fitzjames’s hand and that also held his face when he was dying.

in the scene with morfin, as soon as crozier notices that james is there he makes sure to maneuver over to james so he can place himself between james and the gun despite the fact that he is unarmed and james has his pistol with him. i don’t necessarily doubt that francis would do this earlier in the story but i can say that he does this here as a selfless act of love and protection 

and then the jop promotion scene yay the way james looks at francis with admiration and curiosity when he hands him the promotion letter to sign and the way james smiles at him when he reads it but not just because of that- but because of the words francis uses and the way francis is looking at him, saying someone “has earned our respect (looks to james), trust” and fitzjames smiles and nods- it’s not just about agreeing with him about jopson. this is how fitzjames feels about crozier now and the fact that crozier even in this small subtle way acknowledges that he  DID need to prove himself to james after his behavior during the winter. their dynamic is just so much different now! at the end when everyone is shaking jopson’s hand, fitzjames gives crozier like… the most insane loving soft look… he looks so so happy. i don’t think we’ve ever seen him look like that before.

and now we are at the cairn walk. i again have to say how during this rewatch i become convinced of the knowledge that crozier has to know that fitzjames is dying. there’s just no way he doesn’t. the conversation they have about it does not convey that james is telling him this for the first time. tt more so implies that they both know but don’t speak of it often and james is updating francis with the vital information, the stages he’s at. what made fitzier happen was them leaving the boats, james dying, crozier getting sober, them both laying it all out on the table in different moments of vulnerability- crozier with his addiction, james with his heritage. the way those scenes parallel each other is actually crazy. james is fucking dying, they are all marching to their deaths and the knowledge that they are doing so is slowly sinking in, and all james wanted before he died was for crozier to see him, all of him. even the parts he was afraid to tell anyone, even himself. and francis isn’t even granting him a mercy, he isn’t sparing his feelings. he truly and genuinely accepts james for who he is, how he came to be a part of the expedition. they have both known from the start that beginnings and heritage don’t matter, it’s the actions that people take that makes them who they are. in different ways they both knew that and i think it’s part of what aligned them eventually. and from the script- james realizes he can say anything to this man. it is possible. crozier gives him the space to do it. and just the way they’re laughing and joking and being light with each other- another thing we never would’ve seen in the earlier episodes. okay focusing on some details now- when crozier says “that’s not how i see you” james literally stumbles as if he can’t believe crozier would say that to him. in the beginning of the scene francis gives james space and privacy when he sees him getting emotional about graham and franklin’s deaths and struggling to remember the date of sir john’s death. they communicate with a single glance there, james asking for a moment and crozier giving it to him. the grief on francis’s face when james tells him his latest symptoms. when crozier initially tries to comfort and encourage james… and james can’t accept it because he hasn’t told him everything yet. he doesn’t know if he can. i don’t want to get personal but that feeling that if you only tell part of your hidden sorrow to someone and they comfort and accept you and show you kindness, that feeling you then get that no no no you don’t know the whole of it and if you did you wouldn’t be showing me this kindness, you wouldn’t love me, you wouldn’t respect me. you wouldn’t see me. i genuinely can’t imagine the relief that fitzjames felt when he told francis it all, he told him everything and all francis gave back was love. also we can finally start to really see the bruise that francis gave fitzjames in ep 5. i love when fitzjames literally and metaphorically closes the gap between them. and francis waits for him until he is by his side again. “are we brothers francis” the tears, the attempt to laugh/smile them away until he sees that crozier is with him in this moment and taking it as seriously as it deserves to be. again the joining of the hands, the one that crozier keeps. they look at each other’s mouths, into each other’s eyes, the way francis dips his head to look at fitzjames when fitzjames ducks his emotionally. it’s insanity

when they get back to camp and listen to hodgson’s story and then go to see jirv’s body, they exchange a lot of glances, specifically around the times that hodgson mentions hickey- they are of one mind on him and on how the situation actually played out. james also watches francis a lot in the scene where they go to see jirv’s body. he looks to him for leadership now and doesn’t become irritated by his anger or his candor. this really persists for the rest of the episode - in the scene where crozier is yelling at edward about supplementing the marines all james has to say is “francis” and then basically talks him down from yelling at edward more, another scene i don’t think could have ever happened between them earlier in the story but james knows how to quell francis now. and this is such an interesting parallel to ep 5 when everyone was taking their shit out on edward; this time fitzjames protects him. but anyway- james and francis are just so in sync in every scene in this episode- they back each other up, communicate through glances, emphasize each other’s words and authority. yay<3 

all right you’re all going to have to bear with me on ep 9 because it makes me crazy.

we gotta start with the fucking grief and pain in both of their expressions when they’re taking care of pocock and how this scene itself foreshadows the assisted suicide later

the look of absolute love and faith from fitzjames when crozier is telling them they will keep marching south and the “more than god loves them” scene- this is francis at his most captainly- and james is echoing his hollow vanity stricken words about franklin but really really meaning them about crozier- he says them to no one but himself, there is no performance here and crozier’s words aren’t a false display of empathy and care like franklin’s were for david young and fitzjames sees this. 

fitzjame and crozier are hauling in front side by side- it makes a point to mention that in the script too.

when fitzjames falls… ugh. he hauled until he couldn’t anymore, direct call back to when blanky said ross sat atop the sledges- oh and when francis and fitzjames were caring for pocock together vs ross having no sympathy for illness. when james falls he reaches for crozier without even looking at him at first and you can hear crozier saying “it’s all right, it’s all right” when james is saying he can’t stand the heat. dundy and bridgens are lifting fitzjames up too but when he stumbles, when he reveals his wound, when he stumbles again, he is only looking at crozier the whole time. and the look on crozier’s face is one i don’t think we’ve seen from him yet. i noticed too that he’s holding onto fitzjames with his left arm and rubbing his back with the other before he takes the rope off of him. 

i want to say about the following scene where james is laid up in the boat that i made a joke once to my friend about when crozier reaches into the boat and how it looks like they’re holding hands- but they actually are, it’s in the script. there’s just something about crozier’s face when he talks to fitzjames in later episodes, there’s such a softening of the edges to him, his expression is less guarded and more attentive and earnest. and the call back to their first scene together with the chinese sniper story…. the fucking fondness in both of their eyes as they laugh together, which was probably james’s last time laughing. when crozier says “there’s time” but that’s the tragedy of this show- there’s never enough time. everything happens too late.

james screaming in pain and crozier running to him and barely letting bridgens finish his sentence before he tells them to camp here also in the script during the officer’s meeting right after, they can hear fitzjames screaming in his tent :( i’m honestly kinda glad they left that out.

and here we are at THE fitzier scene. i could talk for hours about this scene. francis is holding james’s hand, rubbing his shoulder. james looks so young and frail and scared here and he uses some of his last words to tell francis he wanted him to live because he knew he wouldn’t be around to tell him that anymore soon. francis shaking his head when he says it as if to say “not without you”. in the script, when bridgens leaves it says ‘he looks at crozier. he looks at fitzjames. he understands”... and later during james’s funeral when crozier says that he had a service with james, just the two of them, peglar and bridgens exchange a very interesting, knowing look. to choose those two to react that way? idk man. fitzier real. but back to the scene- god okay crozier taps james’s chest twice in question and then just barely audible fitzjames says “please”. ugh the sad smile crozier gives fitzjames before he gives him the drug… then he places his hand, the one that crozier doesn’t lose, so gently and lovingly on james’s face, and even in his current state james looks almost taken aback at the gesture. when crozier tips the drug into his mouth his expression softens. i will never ever in my life forget the way james looks at crozier in that moment, the look of gratitude, love, farewell, of pain, longing, childlike fear. (nobody is doing it like tobias). crozier ever so lightly brushing james’s lips with both of his thumbs before he begins to massage it down and carefully wiping the excess away. they never stop looking at each other. dave k said that the service that crozier mentions happened before fitzjames dies and after crozier gives him the drug.

the last thing i want to say about the james death scene is that i was never that invested in the concept of cannibalism as a metaphor for love but fitzjames asking crozier to eat his body and live really really stuck in my brain- just their entire insane journey that i’ve been sitting here thinking about for months- acquaintances to enemies to allies to friends to lovers for it all to culminate in this final scene of fitzjames begging crozier to eat from his body and begging him to give him the final kiss of death all as crozier never once looks away or lets go of him. fitzjames loved him so much he was willing for crozier to desecrate his corpse if it meant francis would live, even without him next to him but crozier loved him so much that he couldn’t do it, he couldn’t add that act to his already impossibly devoted actions.

and the action of hiding james’s body because crozier doesn’t want tuunbaq to destroy it but then it turns out that someone at the very funeral ends up leading the mutineers to tear fitzjames’s body apart themselves. just like jirv not getting to keep the final gift of the seal meat even in death, crozier couldn’t do james this one last mercy even though he tried desperately to. 

and this last part is a bit of a stretch but okay-along with the shirt and the gloves of fitzjames’s that crozier is wearing after his death i think he might be wearing his little neck thing too, so sorry y’all i do not know what it’s called and i’m locked in trying to finish this and i’m not googling it lol. but we see fitzjames wear it a lot throughout the show and francis does sometimes but it’s very much a fitzjames piece so i think it might be his too. and with the funeral scene and the blanky scene, we see the mismatched gloves clearly for the first time but i’m pretty sure the first glimpse is earlier in the episode when they’re hauling before fitzjames collapses. dave k still confirmed they had switched gloves but it really seems that this happened before james died, likely when they left terror camp. i still contend that crozier and fitzjames both knew james was dying and this may have been why they did it. 

and on to the last episode and closing thoughts- in the last ep i was really keeping track of the gloves- he loses them at some point and i wanted to see when and it’s between the scene where he talks to hickey and when he’s chained back up in the tent with diggle. i hope he somehow hung on to them.

i will never forget how my stomach dropped out when i saw hickey wearing fitzjames’s boots on my first watch- the fucking sorrow in crozier’s face. he doesn’t understand the meaning just yet  but when goodsir is cleaning his wounds and tells him they ate gibson, you can see crozier put it together that that’s why hickey has fitzjames’s boots. his expression turns from shock and grief to rage.

hickey really clocked crozier with the shame comment and you can see how it triggers crozier. this is a great confirmation because it really pervades the story and fitzjames’s story as well. they are both driven by shame, by a need to prove themselves but go about it in completely different ways. fitzjames is all bravado, flowery empty words and boasting to cover his origins, his feelings of inadequacy. he aligns himself with the empire and with those in power and distances himself from anyone he knows will be deemed lesser than in the hierarchy in which he exists and specifically pits himself against someone like crozier in order to bolster his own social standing. crozier on the other hand is hardened to his station, he has no way to hide his nationality or his origins no matter how capable he is and how long he’s been going to sea. crozier feels the shame of things like sophia’s rejection and not having straights that they sail named after him but hides it with his bluntness and his lack of decorum when pointing out the truth of a situation. james has everything crozier wishes he did, but crozier is something that james wishes he could be- just himself, despite his societal ineptitudes and barriers. i believe that this basis and the way it melds and breaks down and comes to a way of understanding between them is why fitzier is so strong, and so real and so visceral, especially at the end. honestly there is so much more i could say but i think i’m going to leave it there and just saw that i hope crozier thinks of james from time to time in his new life. i find it hard to believe he doesn’t.

[arietheyluv]

GIRLS NEED LOVE!

— a scaramouche x reader smau —

— 2. bozo

6:32 am

this morning was a cold one, you're freezing but that's alright, you'll get used to it at some point. feeling anxious about being alone in your class, will you even make any friends with that humor of yours? maybe, maybe not.

opening the door to the cafe you see lumine and ayaka, like usual, yoimiya is a little late.

"yn, your drink came to the table faster than you" lumine says while ayaka signals for you to sit next to her. you do as such and take a sip of your coffee, and then take a bite of the cookie on lumine's plate as she stares in disbelief.

with a mouth full of cookies, "I have math as a first subject, I need a rope" you complain and scroll through your phone to show the girls your class schedule. math, computer science, english, english again, history, then art.

"you have mr. albedo for art, he's a nice teacher, just don't accidentally or intentionally spill water on him" lumine says, she starts talking about all of the teachers and which of the ones were asses and which were good at their job.

time goes by, at some point yoimiya arrives to pick up ayaka, and eventually the clock hits 7:20, having not finished your coffee, you prepare to bring it with you, "yn, since you're going earlier do you want aether to guide you to school? just so you don't get lost and have someone you can ask questions" lumine offers.

"aether?.." you trail off, who is aether?

"my brother, the one with longer hair than me" oh. before you can accept her offer she goes into the back of the cafe and you can hear her yell at what you could guess is her brother.

seconds later, lumine and her brother come out of the back, or the kitchen, whatever you call it. "introduce yourself, what are you waiting for dude" lumine hits aether on the shoulder.

"ow– what the fuck–" another hit on the shoulder cuts him off, "uhm hi I'm aether, we're classmates right?" he steps away from his sister who is staring bullets into his head.

"yeah, I'm yn, can we get going now I don't really have the time to be late sorry" you nervously laugh, aether nods and grabs your bag for you. "see you later lumi!" you say as you close the door of the cafe.

— (⁠✿) —

on the walk to school, you kinda just followed aether around, sipped your coffee, and didn't speak much, it wasn't super awkward though, just a bit.

"hey uhm y/n, i need to go meet up with some guys, our classroom is just right at the floor above us, i think there's a sign anyway, you'll probably find it" he says in an apologetic way and runs off into the distance, "yeah no problem that's okay with me!"

you wished he didn't leave you, 2 minutes later you bumped into a guy and spilled your coffee onto his uniform. "I am so sorry let me get that for you–" he cuts you off, "leave me alone, and watch where you're going, stupid"

what a rude guy, it was an accident and he calls you stupid? he wasn't watching where he was going either, what a bitch, but anyway, you brushed it off and chilled around until the bell rang, then you went inside the room.

you saw two familiar faces, aether and the rude guy you bumped into talking to each other, the tables were grouped in two and the only seat available was next to the rude dude.

seeing you enter the room, aether gestures for you to come over and so you do. "yn, this is my friend scara" he introduces, wanting you to make friends probably.

"this is the girl i was talking about aether" scaramouche titters, you sit down on the seat next to him and he scoots away from you a little, "the one who bumped into you and threw coffee at you?".

"I didn't throw it! It was an accident I'm sorry" you apologize and he doesn't even acknowledge it, just snickers before talking to aether again.

girls need love!

previous — masterlist — next

imsosososo sorry the picture quality on the last 3 screenshots was bad, idk whats wrong with my phone rn

hi, its 5am and im severely dehydrated, lets make hwachae

ok just clearing this up, ayato doesn't chat so much because he's busy eating and being a diva

comment to be added to the taglist!

IN WHICH: as you move from your home country, mondstadt to inazuma you find yourself having a hard time to adjust to your new life. It doesn't help when you accidentally spilt your coffee onto one of the richest students in your new school, and what makes it worse is when you find out you have to spend a whole year with him, as your roommate.

taglist (open): @goodvibesonlyxd @usagiarchive @bananasquash @shidouuuliner

[moghedien]

obviously there are a bunch of issues with the MCU and I'm not gonna sit here and try to convince everyone that MCU movies are cinema or whatever so don't get what I'm gonna say twisted. I do find their kinda mainstay in cultural media and the dominance they had to be interesting, especially now in an era where the MCU is undeniably falling off and struggling. just as like a cultural analysis I find that interesting and everyone has their opinions of why it happened.

my opinion/theory on why the MCU just crashed is because they sort of forgot what it means to be telling a comic book story, especially a marvel comic book story. Because I've read thousands of issues of various marvel series at this point, across tons of different eras and events, and the thing that makes them last (which is also a thing that drives me personally crazy and I hate so much) is that the status quo doesn't really change. Or when it does, it lasts for a few arcs or years at most and then gets reverted back to the norm eventually. Like the fact that everything is pointless and nothing is a risk is something I loathe, but it is admittedly what keeps them going. If someone just got into comics, they can pick up a modern issue and expect to find Spider-man or Captain America or whoever. They may be introduced to new characters, but the big ones will show up eventually.

And after the last Avengers movie, like half of the mainstay cast are just gone. Which as someone who likes good stories, I think is a good opportunity (which is arguably being wasted but idk I haven't watched any MCU thing in years) to actually shake things up and develop characters that mainstream people are less familiar with and give them a chance to shine and tell interesting stories. But that's not why people like marvel comics.

People like marvel comics because if they want to read about Iron Man, they can pick up any random issue about Iron Man and it will most likely be the Iron Man they know. People like the status quo, and Marvel has never been high literature and has always basically been pulp storytelling, and it gave people status quo and familiarity. And I think Marvel Studios figured this out waaayyy too late.

Because if Marvel actually understood what people like about the comics, they would have embraced recasting major roles from the start. They wouldn't have tied characters' identities so strongly to their actors and would have made it clear that characters can and will continue on with different faces. There is no reason why Tony Stark needs to be RDJ or Steve Rogers needs to be Chris Evans. They would have had plans to not write these characters out of existance the second actors wanted to exit or died or were fired or any of the various reason why actors are no longer involved with the MCU. Hell they had precedent. They didn't have a problem replacing Terrence Howard with Don Cheadle, who are very different looking people who give very different performances, but we know why they felt ok with that recasting but won't recast any of their boys named Chris...

Anyway it seems like they realized that general audiences don't actually like change if its permanent and are learning the wrong lessons with the Doom casting nonsense and the fact that they seem to keep changing what the new story is to fit what they think audiences want.

I'm fine with the MCU dying off and its probably better for media that it does, but again I'm just kinda interested in the fumble from like an objective standpoint because it seemed like they just locked themselves into eventual failure in such a stupid way. Like they could have told the same safe representative Avengers storylines for decades and wouldn't have a meltdown every time an actor in a major role needed to be removed from production if they just accepted that people would be recast as needed. It would be worse for actors and it would be worse for movies in general probably, but it would have kept the MCU churning out pulp like the comics do to this day. But now people are realizing its not just pulp but pulp they don't want and its gonna kill the MCU eventually.

[hearts-4-vicky]

can you do quarterback minji x shy cheerleader reader? i literally just thought of this and i think it’s adorable

ty baby<3

warnings: kissing, fluff, swearing…, minji is cringe…(shes a loser to me) kinda short😭and um thats it😜

i only know a few things abt football so 🫠

(not proofread…)

The championship football game was already in its fourth quarter, with 50 seconds on the clock. To say Minji was stressed was a HUGE understatement, being the quarterback was cool and all😵‍💫 but when her team’s losing by 3 points its gonna get to her🥺The pressure was getting wayy too much for her since the school has been winning for 9 consecutive years. If they lose, not only will she be failing her school and her teammates, but also you🥺🥺🥺You were the reason she started playing football in the first place, her good luck charm, her cheerleader 🎀 Co-Captain and one of the flyers (someone thrown and lifted in stunts) in the schools cheer squad, y/n l/n (basic asf but shit thats the only option 😭)

Calling a timeout was the best option, all they needed was one touchdown and boom, win😝 though its gonna be harder since their best wide receiver, Yunjin, had suffered a bad shoulder injury just a few minutes before (idk who to put on this team😭) Minji had no game plan since it all relied on Yunjin’s speed and agility, she needed to think of something😵‍💫 Getting in a circle with her team, she speaks up “Okay guys! Just one more push and we win the whole thing right?” Minji flashes a grin, trying to be optimistic “how are we gonna score? Yunjins out and Yujin can barely run without staring at the cheer captain.. Look! She has heart eyes right now!” Haewon was right, Yujin wasn’t even listening to the team but staring at Wonyoung🥺(i love them) Minji noticed you were there too, talking with wony, laughing at something she said🎀 She unconsciously smiles at you, your smile brought light to the dark skies of the night and your laughter made her feel warm🥺 “Fuck.. I forgot you’re both down bad…” Ryujin mentions, the whole team starting to tease those two😭”Alright alright! Yujin, lets do this for our girlfriends… Everyone make sure no one is guarding her!” “Gotchu bro, but I think we need your pretty girlfriends to cheer us on real quickkk” Yuna pokes both Minji and Yujin🎀 “Suck my- “LETS GO BEARS!” (idk man😭) You and Minji make eye contact, “You got this” is what she reads from your lips. A fire lit in her heart as she saw you throw her a kiss, she’s ready for the game.

“HUT HUT! HIKE!” Minji scans the field for Yujin, seeing her in the open, she throws it to her. Caught it. Yujin sprints with everything she had as both teams were after her. One of the opposing team members came out of no where, making Yujin trip. Minji winces at it, must’ve hurt bad. She only thinks of one think,

We fucked it up. We lost.

“HOLY SHIT I DID IT?!” Yujin’s piercing shout got the attention of everyone, she got the ball past the goal line🙏

The stadium erupted into cheers as people started running to the field to celebrate😍😍😍 You full on SPRINT to see your girlfriend, pushing everyone out of the way (r u the football player now or what😭🙏)

Smiling brightly as you spot each other. Minji throws her helmet to the floor to catch you😵‍💫

“YOU WERE SO GOOD OUT THERE BABY!!!” You said as you jumped into Minjis open arms, kissing her face between every word🥺(me when) “I’m all sweaty babe! hol-“”don’ttt care!” Minji stifles a snort as you pepper her face so more, “couldn’t have done it without you, my sunshine” accepting your soft lips against every inch of her face while spinning you around had you both in your own world🥺🥺🥺 Both of you were giggling like teens in love (duh) as your lipstick stains her still sweaty face😛 you guys are taken back to reality as the school journalists come to interview you guys “Who would like to thank for this win Kim Minji?” the camera pans to you guys, still in her arms as she replies,

“My gorgeous girl right here!!”

you hide your face in her neck, blushing at her words

“And those marks on your face?”

“M-minji wait-“

“Also from this gorgeous girl!”

She’s never seen your face as red as it was before😭

with annyeongz

“but I scored the touchdown…”

“Let them have their moment love”

ive been wantin to write fluff again omg 🙏🙏

im sorry i havent been doing many requests lately, ive gotten a bit busier than usual😭 I need to get my grades up or else im out☹️Ive only been writin for school this week im so sorry if this isnt that good😭😭😭

Im really sorry my loves❤️ Stay safe and love you guys!!

-Vicky💋

[hotteoki]

your personal healthcare companion (c.s.b.)

pairing: soobin x fem reader (pronouns only used at the last bit so you can skip it if you'd prefer a gn reader)

wc: 1.4k

cw: none afaik

notes: i just see him as tadashi idk hes so tadashi coded

for @yrhome : have a soob

beomgyu nudged your ribs from beside you, drawing your attention away from the board and mr seo's words, "wanna ditch the last two classes after lunch?" you checked your timetable, ms kim, she couldn't give two shits about her students. nodding, you placed it back in your bag, "sure. where are you thinking?" he hummed, "anywhere where we won't be caught." you didn't need him to name drop to know he was talking about his roommate, soobin.

soobin wasn't a typical student in a typical university, unlike you and beomgyu. he excelled in all his classes and was extremely popular amongst teachers, always getting gold merits and compliments anywhere he went by students and parents alike. it was how he got accepted into the best technology institute in the country. he had never approved of beomgyu's carefree influence on you, although he knew it would be difficult to change your minds.

you had met soobin a couple of times, and he was cute, you admitted. it was obvious to anyone, you could be a bit biased, given your teeny, tiny crush on him. you would rather die than tell beomgyu that, though. you were fairly certain he would scream dramatically in agony and horror, then proceed to give a forty minute speech on how he was cuter, and how you should have a crush on him instead. his usual unprovoked salty comments about your practically non-existent relationship with soobin was enough for your brain to handle.

"i was thinking the seaside? the one that's not too far," beomgyu leaned back, rocking slightly on his chair. you began discreetly packing your things up, "sure." as soon as the bell rang, the two of you made your way down the stairs. checking for teachers and security, you managed to sneak out on your bicycles by the back gate.

a few meters away from the seaside, you noticed a familiar figure ahead of you. "beomgyu," you called. he groaned in response, "i know." both of you gradually stopped in front of soobin leaning against his car, an exasperated expression on his face. "aren't you two supposed to be in school?" he sighed, crossing his arms. beomgyu dismounted his bicycle before racking his brain for an answer, "it was crazy. a rat infestation happened and thousands of rats swarmed the classrooms, and we had to run for our lives. they even said they might shut the school down."

"not because you just felt like ditching?" soobin's gaze switched to you, softening slightly while his fingers fiddled with his glasses clutched in his hand. after months of not seeing him, you had forgotten just how cute he really was. you cursed the unfortunate situation that you were wearing your drabby school uniform and not a decent outfit. you turned to beomgyu for an answer, certain that the second you opened your mouth you'd start blabbing whatever nonsense came in your head. you swallowed thickly as you took a secret glance at soobin, oh no, here come the feelings.

"no, it was definitely the rats," beomgyu pushed his grown-out highlighted hair back, not convincing at the slightest bit. "oh really now?" soobin asked sarcastically. "yes really," beomgyu fired back, "how'd you even know we were going to be here?" soobin rolled his eyes, "not the point, get in." he opened the door to the back seat, waiting. before you could follow beomgyu into the back seats, soobin placed a hand on your shoulder, stopping you, "sit in the passenger's seat."

a sound of protest could be heard from inside the car, "that's where i always sit!" "well, not today. you don't deserve that seat," he replied simply while making his way to the other side of the car and opening the door for you. you smiled, praying your blush wasn't that obvious as you walked around the car, taking your seat.

after nearly fifteen minutes of being in the car with you having no clue where you were going, you began scrolling on your phone to pass time. "where are we even going?" beomgyu whined, kicking soobin's seat gently to make a point. "you'll see," soobin glared at him from the rearview mirror, "and stop kicking my seat unless you want me to drop you off here and you can walk home by yourself". that shut beomgyu up.

"we're here," soobin announced, turning off the engine as he parked in the carpark of his institute. "what are we doing here?" you had never been here before, and you were definitely excited to see soobin's workspace. "just visiting," he replied nonchalantly. "why? i wanna go home," beomgyu dragged out his vowels, clearly fed up. "i'm really considering changing the locks to our apartment," soobin muttered to you. you didn't fail to notice his genuine smile at your laugh.

"this is taehyun, he's a student from two years below, but we share a work room, he's your year, actually," soobin introduced as you stepped into a fairly large room, spare pieces of metal scattered everywhere, along with a few gadgets hung up on walls. taehyun looked up momentarily to wave, before lowering his head and continuing working on his machine. "what are you working on?" you asked curiously.

"it's an ironing-folding machine. i mean, we have washing machine, drying machine, but we've never had ironing or folding machine, and this machine does just that. 2 in 1 as well," taehyun gave it a pat, a proud grin plastered on his face. "you have my undivided attention," beomgyu practically hopped over, eager to know more. "you are so lazy," soobin shook his head. beomgyu only stuck out his tongue.

"come on, i have to show you something," soobin guided you away, leading you to his corner of the room. he pointed at a little red carrier hidden behind his stacks of papers and chairs, "there." "what's that?” you stepped closer, examining it. "pinch me." you turned to stare at soobin, unsure if you heard him clearly, "what?" "pinch me, it’s part of the thing."

you did so, earning an "ouch!" from him. as planned, the box began to open, and a white, sweet-looking robot stepped out. it began walking towards the two of you, stopping a few feet away and waving, "hello, i am baymax. your personal healthcare companion. i was alerted for the need of attention when you said 'ouch'." "it's so cute!" you gushed, stepping closer to examine 'baymax'.

a screen popped up on its body, "on a scale of one to ten, how would you rate your pain?" "one," soobin replied. "i will scan you now," its head moved up and down on soobin's body, "scan complete. you have a slight epidermal abrasion on your forearm, along with unusual sped-up heart palpitations. my scan suggests it is related to emotional feelings of attraction towards-" as baymax adjusted its body to point at you, soobin interrupted panickedly, "i am satisfied with my care."

upon hearing those words, baymax waddled back to its charging port. "you like me?" you looked up at soobin's avoiding eyes. "no?" "yes he does!" taehyun yelled from outside the room. "don't leave the door open, stupid," beomgyu laughed from the doorframe, shutting it. soobin shut his eyes, holding back a sigh.

"you're not playing with me right?" you had to be sure. "yeah, uh, yeah, i've liked you for a long time now," soobin held his hands to his face, covering his reddening cheeks. "you're kidding, i thought you didn't like me back," you gaped. he peeked from the gaps between his fingers, "huh?" "soobin, i've had a crush on you for like probably over a year now," you let out a laugh as you said, surprised this wasn't a dream. "oh," he put his hands down, "oh."

"at least they're finally confessing," taehyun leaned against his desk, eyes flickering to the now shut door of the room where you and soobin were. "i know right? i had to deal with her heart eyes and love sick sighs whenever we saw soobin," beomgyu brushed his bangs out of his face. "i'm pretty sure it was love at first sight for soobin, he would not shut up about her ever since he met her," taehyun laughed. "are you serious? so the reason i have to deal with their giggles and smooches is because of me? i'm too influential," beomgyu shook his head, disappointed at himself. "whatever, they're happy now, i guess," taehyun shrugged.

"you know what? we deserve our happiness too. tell you what, i'll be your first investor in your invention," beomgyu placed a hand on taehyun's shoulder. after a few moments of consideration, they shook hands. "it's a deal."

[shutupineedtothink]

More ep 8 + 9 thoughts, in no particular order:

Rio looks at Agatha the way Agatha looks at other people when they say something angry or misunderstood or untrue about her — mainly, hurt. It’s fine, I’m fine. By not accepting her nature, Agatha’s doing the exact same thing to Rio that people have been doing to her for centuries and if that ain’t trauma i don’t know what is.

I’ve heard people say it was out of character for Rio to go all evil witch in ep 8, but I think it was a choice. She was so hurt by the deal Agatha wanted from her to never see her again, she said you know what, fine. You think I’m evil? I’ll be evil. Let’s play. But even as she puts on this show she’s saying things like I’m the natural order of all things and you love me, and why don’t you want me? And again, this is an Agatha move. Putting on the show of the evil witch to hide her pain underneath. Calls back to ep 1 too, when she says I can’t kill you, but I can make you wish you were dead.

I tend to kill my coven members. So do I. — That boy and Agatha are mirrors what did I tell you. 🙌🏼

I still can’t quite wrap my head around what she was thinking when she tried to give him up to Rio. Did she see him start to turn himself in and know that that’s what Rio needed him to do, so she changed to her evil side to make him second guess himself? Or did she genuinely think screw this in that moment and then changed her mind? I don’t know, and I don’t think we’re supposed to know, and that’s really interesting actually.

And Billy! Basically manipulates her into sacrificing herself for him using Nicky! My dude you really aren’t that nice. In that sense… he really got all of them killed.

I say more about this in my general show overview post which is coming soon, but once I was able to let go of where I thought Agatha should go as a character, I realized a couple things: a) her journey isn’t over, so this wasn’t supposed to feel like a complete arc and b) I think the point of her character is that you just can’t pin her down in one category or another. She’s not fully evil, she’s definitely not good but she can make good choices, she’s not a complete villain but she’s not a hero or anti-hero either. She’s truly unique in the MCU in that sense. And interestingly, it seems like Billy is going in a similar direction. We’ll see.

So Agatha is the “maiden mother crone” of the last episode right? We’ve now seen her in all three stages, she was the mother up until she died and now is the crone as a ghost playing the Guide to Billy. I’m gonna go with that.

There’s a .2 second look of pain on Agatha’s face when Rio tells her Lilia is dead. That’s when she found out. She does care about them, she’s just definitely not going to show it in front of anyone else.

Lots of great line repetitions in these last two eps (covenless witch, get used to this feeling, etc), but one I could have used again was Rio’s “te veo” — she does say the line about watching Agatha just as closely as you watch everyone else, which was great. But idk I wanted that to come back one more time.

See my previous post for my Nicky thoughts but it seems like the more discourse comes out the more we all agree that is Rio’s child just as much as Agatha’s. The question then becomes, was he just created from their love and magic, or for some other reason? Personally I would love to see more play out with Nicky and him possibly being “a demon, or an agent of Mephisto” and that’s why Agatha can’t face him. She needed more time to figure out how to change his fate but she couldn’t. It’s almost a Bucky/winter soldier situation, but instead of hydra it’s literally the Marvel god of the underworld controlling him. There’s a movie in there somewhere for sure. (MCU witch movie??)

The music banged in these eps especially the choral opening to ep 9, so cool.

Am I the only one wondering why Agatha is RunNInG when she’s in labor? Like where’s she going, who’s she running from? Just an interesting opening.

It’s Agatha All Along in several ways: Agatha (and Nicky) originated the ballad, Agatha used the ballad to kill witches for centuries, she was telling the truth all along about the road not existing, she was the one who bound Jen, and she knew all along it was Billy who made the road. Not exactly the character transformation I was gunning for, but I see the vision now.

The Peggy Carter cosplay I live 🤌

I still don’t think Agatha outright intentionally killed Alice. I still think she either genuinely didn’t have control in that moment, or Billy subconsciously made her do it to make her the villain. (Edit, Jac basically confirmed option 1)

I LOVE that she’s a conwoman. It makes so much sense for her character and even in a more genuinely evil context I love a con.

Agatha says she was going to kill them in her basement on day 1, but Lilia stopped them. If they didn’t attack her, would she have found another way to take their power? Idk but it seems more to me like she’s just trying to make Billy feel better.

I’m itching for more, but I do love the emotional moment between them in the basement at the end. Agatha lets just a little bit of her true feelings peek through, and Billy gets a little perspective as well.

Ok, I’ve now listened to the full 3.5 hour House of R pod on the finale, including their interview with Jac Schaeffer, and she confirmed a lot of my thoughts here so. Nice.

OMG Jac said this thing about the Road being Agatha’s lie that Billy made real and I got CHILLS

I’m expecting some baller fan edits for this show now that it’s over absolutely can’t wait

I could probably say more, and if I think of more stuff I’ll add it in comments. But also look out for that full show review post.

[pls-hold-me-im-justa-weeb]

Zoro x Fem reader fluff! You know how Zoro has an unimaginable amount of debt towards Nami? Well, S/O has been paying Nami time after time to slowly repay Zoro’s debt because she loves him so much and she’s sweet enough to do that. Nami does decrease his debt to a point where even Zoro notices his debt decreased. When questioned, Nami confessed what S/O did for him and how she’s so sweet that she didn’t have to and Nami collected all the money to give to Zoro so he could make it up to S/O.

So cute omggggg. As you wish my lovely! I kept this as broad as possible, with an S/O who likes music, which I think is pretty broad, but if it isn't, don’t come at me pls I’m just a baby.

I think in One Piece, they have like CD players where you plug in headphones and you can carry it around, at least that's what was shown in the anime when people were lining up for Brook's concert after the time skip. I can't remember the name of it, but it used to be a popular thing. I made it a spring island because its (supposed) to be starting to be spring where I am, but we just started our second winter (as per usual with the midwest lol).

Warnings: paying off partner’s debt behind his back, cheating at GAME, Zoro being broke lol.

It's just fluff man idk what else to say.

“Witch.”

“Unsanitary marimo” Nami replied easily, keeping her focus on her magazine. Zoro’s eye twitched, but he held his tongue.

“Since we got loot at the last island, how much are you pulling out of my debt for my share?”

Nami’s ear perked at the word “loot”, and she did some quick mental calculations.

“Hmmm. All but your allowance. But I’ve been considering reducing that for you”

“Oi! Why would you cut my allowance?”

Nami shrugged.

“You only buy alcohol”

“So?”

“So you don’t need that much. Besides, after a couple months of a reduced allowance, you’d be down to at least an imaginable amount of debt.”

Zoro paused. Why was his debt going down? He wasn’t paying unless she demanded it. Had he paid that much? Or did they get that much loot at the last island?

“How much did we get at the last island?” He asked. Nami glanced up at him.

“It’s kinda creepy how you’re showing interest in money, but about 734,286 Beli” she said. Zoro only focused on the seven hundred thousand Beli. He wasn’t great at math, but knew when that was split between the crew, his share would hardly make a dent in his debt. So why?

“That doesn’t make sense” he muttered. Nami looked at him curious.

“No?”

“My debt was… I don’t even know how much. So why has it been going down?”

“Hmmm. Maybe I’m just generous!” She smiled sweetly at the swordsman, putting on her most innocent act. He narrowed his eyes at her. She knew something.

“What do you know.”

Nami glanced around, as if making sure anyone besides the swordsman was within earshot. Zoro furrowed his brow at the action.

“What is it?” He muttered, arms crossed. Nami sighed.

“Look. You should thank her by doing something nice for once. She’s so sweet and kind, and I have no idea how you ended up dating her but… I saved the money she’s been paying me for your debt. I thought maybe you knew, and I was going to smack some sense into you but she begged me to keep it quiet," Nami shrugged and picked at her nails before continuing, "Technically, it’s been going towards your debt but I figured I could be nice and generous for once, and ask you if you wanted to accept it. Once you found out, of course. But if you want, I can give it to you and you can spend it on her instead.”

Zoro’s jaw clenched, and he looked down. You had really been doing that? For him? He only mentioned being annoyed by that damn debt when Nami held it over his head when he had to do the dirty jobs for her. He could be mad at you for thinking he couldn’t handle it on his own, but honestly? He couldn’t handle it, and he couldn’t be mad at you. He just ignored the debt, hoping it would eventually go away, and you were so kind to him. He hardly deserved you.

He scraped a hand through his hair, sighing as the other hand landed on his hip.

“I… I don’t know how to… I want to do something for her to pay her back. But what?”

Nami leaned back in her chair, gesturing for the swordsman to sit next to her. He slumped into the chair, brow furrowed as he thought.

“In a day or two, depending on the weather, we should make it to another island. Think about what she likes, not you. Go and enjoy it with her, together. Support her passions, and it’ll mean so much to her”

Zoro huffed.

“How much did that advice cost me?”

“Free for this time, only because of her. Not you. It would be 100 Beli otherwise”

“100?!!”

“I could make it 500.”

“You’re scamming me.”

“You’re the one who needs my help. Why should I give my help for free?”

Zoro sucked his teeth and stood to walk away but paused. The navigator looked up questioningly. He looked off into the distance, a stoic expression on his face.

“Thanks for the advice” he muttered. He obviously meant it, so Nami smiled in return, and he walked off to find you.

He found you playing a card game with Luffy and Usopp, laughing as you laid down your winning hand. The other two complained loudly, groaning and flopping back. Luffy accused you of cheating, and Usopp backed him up.

"Me? Cheating? Never" you teased, giggling. You looked around as you heard heavy footsteps behind you, eyes landing on your boyfriend. You turned back to the other two in front of you and stood, producing a card from its hiding place, tossing it on the pile of cards.

"You guys are pirates, think of this as training to learn when someone is cheating at a card game"

"Hey! You were cheating!"

"No fair!"

"Like I said- training, not cheating"

Zoro stood behind you arms crossed and a smirk on his face at your antics. You turned around, hands laced behind your back, trying to look innocent. You batted your lashes at him, smiling sweetly.

"Right, Zoro?"

He looked at you and grunted, seemingly unfazed by your act. Inside, his heart skipped a beat with how cute you looked.

"Don't tease them. They're idiots"

"Hey!" "We're not idiots!" Luffy and Usopp protested in tandem. You sighed, pouting at him. He blinked at you, keeping his face neutral despite his sudden desire to kiss the pout right off your face.

"C'mon. I wanna ask you something" Zoro said instead, turning on his heel and leading the way. You followed, but not before turning and tossing the last card you cheated with on the pile. Luffy pulled his eye and stuck his tongue out, and Usopp blew a raspberry at you. You stuck your tongue out in retaliation, and skipped off after your boyfriend.

You followed him, unsurprisingly, to the crows nest, scampering after him on the ropes. You were a little nervous. Zoro wanting to ask you something could range from giving your humble opinion on a sword technique, to if you loved him even though he was aggressive. You simply didn't know. You entered the crows nest with practiced movements, eyes falling on the swordsman sitting on a bench near an open window.

You approached him, slightly hesitant.

"What did you want to ask me?"

He hummed, acknowledging your question and indicating he was constructing his answer. You furrowed your brow. He hardly ever thought through his words. He spoke once you had sat next to him.

"What do you know about the next island?"

You cocked your head.

"Nothing really just that it's a spring island... should I know something?"

"Just curious. Is there something you've been wanting to do lately? Like something that can really only be done on an island?"

You thought. Nothing in particular came to mind. But maybe...

"I uh. I want to buy some music to listen to. I know we have Brook, and he's amazing but... I dunno. I miss my music player a lot, and hearing whole bands at once and different singers... I mean Brook is a great singer and he does different genre's, but sometimes you want to shake things up so you're not listening to the same artist all the time, ya know? But I usually end up buying some other things I need instead" you shrugged. You looked at Zoro. He wasn't looking at you, instead was looking out the window. He grunted.

"Show me"

"Show you what?"

"Show me what you listen to, and what you like. I'm not really familiar with music all that much, having not listened to it much growin up or... ever really."

Excitement grew with every word. He wanted you to introduce you to music? To the music you listened to and liked? What would he like? Would anything surprise you? Warmth spread from your chest, through your body, and you bounced in your seat, a grin curving your lips.

"Really?! Oh my goodness there's so much to show you! I can't tell if you'd like softer music like R&B or maybe you'd like hard rock... I'm not sure you'd like pop punk but you might! Maybe some pop songs, but you might be picky about that. French jazz might be meh for you, but it might remind you of Sanji so maybe we should stay away from that... Maybe some other jazz? Or probably something with a good beat. Like workout music?" You babbled on excitedly, pondering the possibilities. You continued talking, not completely sure if Zoro was listening, but you didn't mind.

A small smile formed on Zoro's lips as he listened. Nami had been right, frustratingly, but this way, he would get to see a side of you he hadn't yet. Even if he didn't like the music you did, experiencing it would be good for him, and more importantly, you'd be happy. He saw the little scrunch of your nose that you got when you were really happy and excited, and he huffed a laugh.

"and maybe- what are you laughing at?" you looked at him, smiling still as you interrupted your chatter. He finally faced you fully, leaning his head on his hand, his arm propped on the back of the bench.

"Just you. You're cute when you're all excited about something. You get a little scrunch in your nose when you smile when you're happy like this."

Your hand rose self-consciously to cover your nose. He gently smacked it away with one hand, swooping in to kiss the tip of your nose gently.

"Don't cover it. It's cute"

You blushed, flustered. A thought suddenly occurred to you.

"Why are you asking about what I want to do on the next island? Normally, we do what catches your interest, which don't get me wrong, is typically entertaining, but... why the change?"

"You."

Your brow furrowed in confusion.

"Me?"

"You've been paying my debt to Nami"

"Whaaa??? Psshh nooo~ I never. I mean. I would, but I haven't?"

Zoro raised a singular brow. You swallowed, eyes flicking to the side.

"That so?"

"Uhh. Yes?"

"You are really a terrible liar. How can you cheat so well at card games but you can't lie to save your life?" he teased, a rare soft smile curving his lips as he spoke.

"You're intimidate me and fluster me at the same time! I can't help it!" you whined, before shyly asking, "You're not mad?"

"Why would I be mad at you for taking care of me?"

He ruffled your hair, and you squawked in indignation.

"Thank you, really" he said softly. You looked at him, smiling.

"You're welcome"

The two of you sat in easy silence, listening to the waves and distant chatter of Usopp and Luffy.

"So music, huh? What do you like?"

You wiggled excitedly, chattering away with Zoro asking the occasional question, even as he started training again.

~~~

"You're buying this?? Zoro, hon, I can get it" you pleaded, eyeing your pile of CD's and your brand new player.

"Nope"

"You can hardly afford alcohol! How could you afford this?"

Zoro ignored you, producing some other CD's you had reluctantly put back earlier, unable to afford them.

"These too" he muttered to the cashier. You repeatedly smacked your boyfriends arm, getting rougher with each one. He finally caught your hand.

"Stop hitting me, woman! Nami gave me the money you paid her for my debt, and now I'm spending it on you! Accept my love, damnit!"

You froze, looking at him in awe and surprise. You started as the cashier cleared his throat.

"Th-that'll be uh... the a-amount you s-see right there... s-sir" the poor teen stuttered, obviously intimidated by the swordsman. You would've snorted had you not been filled with love and awe for your boyfriend. Zoro paid the cashier and took hold of the bags. You followed closely, still aware of yourself enough to know he would get lost without you. Again.

"Thank you, Zoro" you finally said. He smirked at you.

"Of course."

[onyour-right]

First things first, I'm gonna need Gen V to never fucking do that again. How dare they release such a good episode and only have it be 34 minutes??? Is it a fucking sitcom??? They do that again and we WILL have problems.

Now, Cate. I done told y'all she was the mole and now look. I mean do I still love her? Absolutely. Do I think she is a victim of Dean Shetty's manipulations? 100%. Do I believe she thought she was protecting her friends? Yup. But do I also think Andre was right somewhat in what he said? Yeah, kinda do. Listen, with all the good intentions in the world the fact that she repeatedly made Luke forget about his baby brother when she knew the type of turmoil it was causing in him is twisted. The same way she was going to confess to Andre before the text came is the same way she should have confessed to Luke. Granted I think the reason she was even going to confess to Andre was because of how wrong things were going. But still, she ain't right for that..

So, I see three possible avenues they might take with her: first, kill her off at the end of the season in order to redeem herself to her friends; second, she could become an antagonist to the group (tho this is less likely); or third, she may act as a double agent and spy back on shetty so they can find out what's really going on..

Jordan Li. My beloved. My baby boy/baby girl. I can understand why they thought Marie couldn't accept both sides of them and I'm so glad they explored a bit more into their character's history. But baby, Marie wants to love on you no matter what your gender so just let her!!! At least they got to a point where they realised they were being unfair to Marie over the whole situation though, so hopefully episode 6 will have them talking about it properly. Alsooooo, Jordan getting pissed when Marie's brain was tampered with again? Good fucking food. Jordan moving closer to Marie at Cate's reveal? I was eating that shit upppp. Jordan this whole episode was kinda unhinged and you know what? I wanna see more, please and thank you!!!

Alsoooo, can we talk real quick about Jordan's conversation with Andre and Cate because I cannot have been the only one who was straight dyingggg through it. "is it a black thing?" "...oh my God!!!". The way Jordan didnt even dismiss the fact that him and Marie made a good couple too. Likeeeee. C'monnnnn.

Marie, my sweet girl. Once she finds out the true extent of her powers its over for everyoneeeee; she's gonna fuck everyone up and I personally will be cheering her on at the sidelines!! Slightly worried though because 1) who is her benefactor?? and 2) what if they are able to capture her somehow??? She is yet to go unhinged and I would like to see it, especially if it's in relation to something happening to Jordan.

Emma and Sam. I mean you know its real when one half of the pairing's mind has been wiped and still there is an undeniable connection between them.The fact that Sam went out of his way to find Emma after all the shit that went down??? Ooof, I'm living for itttt. The fact that even though Emma hadn't gotten back her memories she still believed him? Don't make me cryyyyy. I loved how Emma realised how wrong her mother was about her "getting big" & how she's beginning to carve out who she wants to be for herself. Also, her and Marie's friendship is honestly just goals.

Also, lowkey everyone should have just let Sam kill that Dr Cardosa because he's gonna bring big problemssss I fear, and on that note they should have him kill Dean Shetty too because ole girl needs to skedaddle her way out (although the person who takes her place could be even worse, so idk about that yet)

Also, someone please give Andre a hug that boy needs it. Seeing him unhinged tho?? Ooofffffff 10/10.

[7ndipity]

Hello🤗 Hope you're doing well ❤️

Can I pls request headcanons for BTS members where reader thinks of them as just friends but they have a huge crush on us, then they get jealous when we ignored them for our guy best friend so they forced us to leave but don't confess because they are insecure? And can you please make it fluffy?

I know it's very specific 😅 but I would really appreciate it if you would accept my request ❤️ thank you ❤️

They Get Jealous of Your Guy Friend

Ot7 x Reader

Warnings: swearing, teeny bit of angst, not proofread

A/N: Thank you so much for this request! Oof this concept tho, I love these kinds of concepts! I haven't written an ot7 piece in a hot minute, so it was fun to get back to these! I hope you like it!

Masterlist

Requests are open

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Jin: He would get soo sulky if you weren’t paying attention to him. He’s you best friend, how could you ignore him?!(Although, he’d deny it up and down if you ever accused him of being jealous) He would try and play it off

though, pointing out how late it was getting and ‘hey, didn’t you have some work/school thing you needed to work on?’ maybe with his help?? He’d end up taking you for ice cream or smth on the way home because he feels a lil guilty for spoiling your evening and thinks about explaining, but he’d end up chickening out at the last second and keeping his thoughts to himself, for now at least…

Yoongi: Yoongi would be point blank about it, just like his approach to everything else. He’d stick himself right in the middle of whatever you and your other friend were doing and say that it was time for y’all go, since you’d so conveniently come together(well played, Min), not even letting your friend get out an offer to drop you home themselves before he was saying your goodbyes for you and all but pulling you with him out the door. When he spots you giving him a “wtf?” look, he would just shrug it off, preferring not to explain, all the earlier bravado disappearing with you. “Idk, I just wanted to leave…”

Hobi: ‘It’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine’ is all that’d been repeating in his head for a solid five minutes as he tried to be cool and let you have a good time, but he couldn’t help feeling more than a bit miffed by the fact that he was being pretty much ignored by his partner. Except you weren’t his partner. Fuck, why did he always seem to forget that when he saw you with them? The last straw tho is when said friend puts a hand on your arm, and he’s up and beside you saying something about a minor emergency and you two have to go. He wasn’t even thinking and just said the first thing he could think of, having to now come up with a ‘whoops, false alarm!’ story so you don’t get mad at him.

Namjoon: Joon wouldn’t even hide the fact that he was irritated when you and your other friend were getting a little too cozy at the club you had gone to, coming over and grumpily telling you that y’all had to go, pulling some k-drama level shit trying to pull you along through the crowd with him. Naturally, you yank your hand away once you’re clear of the people and demand to know what the fuck was his problem, not understanding his sudden attitude. He would very nearly spill it then and there, frustration making him reckless, but he would catch himself at the last second and make up some lame excuse.

Jimin: Sulky No.2, ooh boy. He’d be trying his best(ish) not to be bothered, biting his lip every time he heard you laugh at one of their jokes or smth, but his jealousy would quickly get the better of him. He’d wind his way into the conversation before winding his way back out of it, with you in tow. How he always managed to get you away from the group was beyond you, he’s the smoothest smooth talker. You’d end up going to get dinner or coffee together on the way home,talking about whatever until you catch him staring at you for the third time and tell him to quit looking at you like that. “Like what?” “Like you’re in love with me or something.” “Would that be such a bad thing?” “What?!” “Nevermind, you were saying?”

Taehyung: Tae would come up with a bold faced lie, coming over and saying that he was feeling sick or smth and could you please take him home, knowing you would instantly go into caregiver mode, worrying about him and forgetting all about your other friend. It’s kinda a shitty move, and he knows it, but honestly if he had to sit and watch you smile at him for much longer, he might’ve actually gotten sick. He’d end up half confessing to you, talking about how much you mean to him and how he didn’t know what he’d do without you, might even actually say I love you, wincing a bit when you say that you love him too, and that he’s the best friend you could ever ask for. So close…

Jungkook: Sulky No.3. This boy is about as subtle as a neon sign, if I’m being honest. He hates when you’re not right next to him and you know that perfectly well, which is why you were ignoring him in the first place. His hypocritical attitude was really starting to irritate you, as it was apparently more than fine for him to go and mingle and flirt with whoever he wanted, but not you. By the time he got fed up and said it was time to leave, you were ready for a fight, demanding to know why he was always on your case on nights like this. “Because!” He’d catch the words just before they slipped out, biting his lip. “Because I worry about you.” “It’s not your job to worry about me.” “I know, but I want it to be…”

[loreartisan]

Okay, I've had some time to let my thoughts settle about the River Cartwright/Louisa Guy snippet we saw in the S5 preview and (while I've kind of begrudgingly accepted it) I've come to a conclusion about why I was opposed to it.

For the most part, I've gotten the impression that River is a very very single guy who doesn't really 'go' for women/romantic situations. And to me, this makes sense. I'll elaborate below, if you're curious to see my thought process. If you're one of the ppl who think he really deserves to be with someone, then... idk this is just my own justification. Get ready, I'm going full analytical essay mode here.

Reason 1: He respects boundaries too much. In season 1, when Sid tries telling him the reason she's at Slough House, he tells her that he doesn't want to know since it's likely for personal reasons which is "none of his business". In season 2, when Lamb says that River should 'get' with Kelly if she offers, River is very opposed to this and finds it (rightfully) unethical. In season 3, River tells Louisa that her private life is not Lamb's business and that he shouldn't bring up her "way of processing her trauma". In season 4, he hesitates to share his personal problems with Louisa, emphasizing that he is considerate of "keeping things work related". There are a lot of instances where River shows how he doesn't want to take things beyond what is needed, which to me translates to: friends are all I need.

Reason 2: It's very anti-Bond of him. James Bond is this slick, suave guy who manages to charm every lady he comes across in literally every iteration he's in. One of Bond's most recognizable aspects is how he is always seducing women to get his job done. River is this awkward guy who bumbles most of his social interactions through misunderstandings and sarcasm. Most of River's characterization is on the basis that he thinks he's Bond, but continually proves in many ways how he is the opposite of him. River's relationships with women is another way to telling the audience that he is very far from being the 'perfect' spy that James Bond is.

Reason 3: He's got too much drama around him that renders romance unnecessary. River is likely one of Slow Horse's most intriguing characters, solely based on his family background. The grandson of a legendary spook, the son of an ex-CIA mercenary, the son of a bitter and neglected daughter, the brother to trained assassins who got in trouble with lots of people... There are so many points of interest around River's family alone that I just don't think a romantic plot would benefit his character. It's nice to have rounded, three-dimensional characters, but if a character has too many conflicts and side plots, it can get difficult to keep up with. If I had to choose between the themes of River coming to terms with his family legacy or allowing him to find romance with someone, I'd pick the first option because it seems far more intriguing and has more setup/depth.

There are more subtle reasons here and there, and I know that the book version of River contradicts some of my points, but these are the major aspects behind my pitch for "River should stay single and not be shipped with anyone." I see why he might be shipped with some ppl, but ultimately that is my stance on River's romantic life. His women friends should just stay friends, and I am glad Spider died because that man was TOXIC and i dont know why ppl ship them.

uhhhhh thanks for reading my essay? Hopefully yall see the way I'm thinking (maybe i convinced you to see my side of things too???). Crazy how i did all this based on 0.5 seconds of footage that is likely (in true River fashion) a misunderstanding. Yay for overthinking!

Let me know if my essay was good (was it engaging? was my writing good? did i bring up some dogwater points?), i spent more time on this than I expected but it feels good to air my thoughts out.

TL;DR I am ✨ delusional ✨

[matan4il]

911 ep 709 first watch reactions

The way this ep starts with giving us a clear shot focused on the front, solely on Buck sitting between the man he's dating and the man he's been married to for the past six years, and only on them. XD I'm here for it.

Oh, Bobby. :( Feeling unworthy of his medal, and remembering his dad, and how everything went wrong after he got it. </3

Aaaah. Man, IDK. The openly and explicitly homophobic and racist captain cartoon just feels like an easy target now. Prejudice doesn't seem like it mostly gets expressed that way anymore, and when we only teach people to reject that kind, we not only fail to teach them to recognize subtler forms, we may be misleading them to think those more nuanced ones don't count.

Love Athena trying to "save" Bobby by contacting Amir. I'm always a sucker for a couple where they both save each other.

I enjoyed the little play with "Mother Hen," and I know it's not specifically about Buddie, but it is damn funny that when she's told she's raising more kids, they're the ones the camera focuses on. lol Raising a kid together for 6 years, still a couple of morons in desperate need of parenting from their colleagues. Even when Bobby's "wordless goodbye" moment with Buck is letting him cook for the 118, Eddie's by his side and they're doing it together. I swear, 911 said, "Take note, this is what a marriage looks like" and then just kept hammering the point for 6 seasons now.

Okay, I am pretty sure that, while Bobby's acceptance of Buck's first relationship with a guy, is really lovely, "Because we haven't had to talk about it" is not an actual good criterion for discerning whether someone is good for their partner or not. People whose spouses are abusive don't talk about it, either. :/ I am NOT saying that's Buck and Tommy, because it obviously isn't, it just feels like a line thrown in there to be cutesy, but which isn't actually helpful to people, who might take it too seriously.

I AM GONNA LOL FOREVER. So, just like Buck's bi awakening was all about Eddie, now Eddie's messed up whatever he has with Kim is gonna involve Buck, too? Gotcha. Battlefield boyfriends being off-battlefield boyfriends once more.

So... Buck was going to see Tommy, in an ep where TPTB have already paid for Lou in the role, so might as well use him as much as possible, but instead a non-emergency run in with Eddie's current whatever-Kim-is makes Buck ditch Tommy, and run straight over to Eddie's to help him? Look, I'm obviously a One True Pairing kind of shipper, so Buddie are it for me, as much as I can enjoy and see the value of Buck and Tommy as a stepping stone, and nothing will make me stop shipping Buddie (especially not after the tsunami eps), but 911 is feeding me way too well with how it frames these scenes and stories, I don't think the show's trying to get me to stop.

Man, if anyone's ever had a doubt that Eddie is the world champion at denial, this kitchen scene will def cure that.

"I'm worried about you." "Yeah, I'm worried about me, too." And then Buck, the one person who can ALWAYS penetrate through Eddie's denial wall, no matter how thick it is.

Eh, IDK how much the part where they try to re-define Shannon as the love of Eddie's life works, or how much it just serves to show he's still in denial, just a different kind than before, when Buck got through to him that he can't go on like this with Kim. For one thing, in his little retelling of their dysfunctional r/s, Eddie doesn't mention that Shannon was leaving him a second time, even before she died. Literal denial and repression.

So I'm gonna choose to believe Hen and Karen will get Mara back, because I can't deal with that particular storyline otherwise.

Kim's reaction is too deranged for me. Who does something like that, even if we assume the kindest of intentions? And then Marisol and Christopher's timing... I didn't sign on to watch a soap opera, but I guess I'm getting one free of charge?

"Now you gotta save yourself." If that ain't a painful summary of what growing up means, IDK what is. the conversation with Bobby's dad in his sleep was a good, painful scene, built right, leading to him hopefully getting his closure through saving his wife from a fire, and leaving us with just the right amount of suspension for next week and the season finale, where we'll see if he can let go of his past mistakes without a doppelganger dressing up like his dead wife...

Thank you for reading! If you’re looking for more, you can find my s7 reactions tag here, and more of my Buddie meta and content in my pinned post. xoxox

[herrling]

we've been talking a lot about the coley video but can we also talk about comments?

okay let me yap on some of these points

‼️big salt ahead‼️

first of all i don't want to invalidate anyone's experience here. it's fine, it's okay, yeah. but let's please remember something - YOUR experience is not EVERYONE'S experience, yeah?

now, in order

the first comment is so fucking stupid I don't even want to discuss. "oooh self shippers are so problematic" yeah i think if someone chooses Bakugo over you it's either A COMPLETELY FUCKING NORMAL THING THAT PEOPLE HAVE PREFERENCES, or you must've been so damn shitty to them they chose someone else. idk.

second, third and some other that has adjacent message sound so... disvaluing? i might surprise someone out there but there's 👏 nothing 👏 wrong 👏 with 👏 taking your self shipping as serious as you want. no, really. if you count your self shipping as something more than "just having fun tee-hee" then GO FOR IT. you know what's TRULY concerning? when you commit a literal CRIME for your self ship, but afaik it's concerning in irl relationship too.

yeah finding balance is cool blah blah blah. it's not like i disagree, i just don't like the wording. it feels like another disvaluing of one's experience. everyone has different families - some have very abusive ones so their self ship is a literal safe haven. some people are FICTOS (hi lachlan if you're reading that I now understand what you meant) so their self ship is a literal part of their sexuality/romance experience. why do I even have to explain that???

then there's this part that is so stupid i can't. "if my partner would feel jealous about my self ship I'd drop it for them", if your partner isn't okay with a literal part of you maybe they shouldn't be your partner??? no, i mean, hear me out on this. i know this stuff is complex and all but just. all of these comments seem to NOT allow that some people consider their f/os their full partners, as I said, and that's the fucking issue. so take this from a person who DOES consider. there are situations where people fall in love with more than one person at once, yeah? there are polys and stuff, yeah? some people okay with being in a poly relationship and/or share their partner, some not. if you two are full grown adults, you SPEAK about it and come to some agreement - to continue your relationship, to not, whatever. so if your self ship is important to you, THAT'S what has to happen. you don't need to drop everything suddenly just because "oh well it's fictional and not real..." (if it's works for you tho it's fine, I'm talking about the statement that it's like what ALWAYS should happen FOR EVERYONE).

so yeah I'm mad with these comments. self shippers get hate in fandoms already, and even when they're accepted it's ONLY if they don't take their self ship seriously. as for those like me, oh don't get me started. I might make a whole bingo of what I got personally and what people said in general about self shippers like me. i was harassed for identifying as ficto, btw.

oh and yeah my favourite. "it's just fun and fiction, if a person can't tell the difference between fantasy and reality, they need professional help". typical advice nobody asked for but here we are. I honestly hate advices like that because they sound so fucking ableistic and clearly come from people that think that after seeing a couple of pseudopsychological videos or reading a couple of sci pop articles they can give advices here and there (plus to people they don't know shit about).

and do i need to remind you how many self shippers are seen as mentally ill ONLY for self shipping alone? do i need to remind you how much harassment they get basing on that?

and yeah this video doesn't help. even though people say it wasn't as bad as the title said it still didn't help and, as my moot said, was UNNECESSARY to do.

what do I say. self shipping itself is HARMLESS, in any form (yeah there are proselfshippers that selfship with literal kids, not even aging them up just. with kids. ykwim). yeah I said there was a dude who killed for their self ship or smth like that but it's a bad wording, we all know the person just had general issues and making it look like he committed mass shooting because of self ship is a "kids are violent because of videogames" typa shit, I hope y'all understand this. I'm saying that people seem to just not care to educate themselves enough before saying "ummm well selfshipping is fun BUT 🤓☝️". seriously, stop. leave selfshippers alone. if someone chooses selfshipping over irl relationship well that just HAPPENS yk. it's literally the same as just. choosing one person as a partner over another, but we don't consider it as a problem that should be mass discussed, do we? so why's selfshipping is any different?

I must also bring this up: fictophobia is a kind of aphobia, in my opinion, if we consider the fact that fictosexuality/-romantism is on aspec. I'm not sure I should elaborate on this one. you won't judge an aroace for not dating/sleeping with anyone, so why you should judge someone who takes their selfship seriously to choose over irl relationship?

in conclusion, just. talk to your partners if you're in a relationship, idk. people be tapping about this so much as if there isn't already an ultimate solution to every issue - TALKING. you know? the ability we were given along with the way our throat is built and our brain is shaped (okay sorry this cane out kinda mean-).

and choosing selfshipping instead of irl dating is not something morally incorrect. you have the right to. just figure it out with your partner if they're present. yk people date, people break up, it's normal.

idk why the comments are like that.

jeez.