#second drawing is how girls love on you before Literally Selling You

[muckyschmuck]

having a baron must be like having to help an old lady cross the street except it’s 24/7 and she’s a cunt .and also dead .and always drunk

[jetblack4realz]

better - jj maybank x reader

summary - in between season 3 & 4 when they're building their lives with the gold and jj wants to get his act together for you

word count - 1.9k

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you were an artist. you always had been - whether it was drawing random doodles on the side of your worksheet in class, or sketching out the boys' names in fancy calligraphy, or coming up with a new layout and decorating scheme for the chateau when you deemed it bland (after john b refused to let you paint all over the twinkie), or even reworking furniture to flip and sell to make a few bucks, you were always artsy. it had begun to work out really well for them.

you designed the surf shop and all of poguelandia with the help of your uncle, who was a contractor by trade. you carefully curated the indoor and outdoor decor, picking out pieces unique to your friends and your story and making it a homely, pseudo-trendy little shop. only when that was finished and you had it running did you turn your attention to your guys' home.

jj loved watching you work. at the moment, you had sarah helping you finish up the paint for the main living room as you put a final coat of white on the shiplap accent wall you'd had jj install for you. you had him put a similar one in your shared room upstairs, but had yet to paint it, claiming that you'd rather have everyone's space finished before focusing on your own.

john b walked in the kitchen and spotted the boy seated at the bar, his fingers typing away at the laptop you had gotten from your parents when you were sixteen - you know, before you'd jumped ship and left home to find treasure with your friends. he grabbed a can of lemonade from the fridge as he furrowed his brows, coming up behind his best friend. he squinted his eyes at the screen.

"job listings? what are you-?"

the lid slammed shut on the computer, jj spinning around with a shake of his head.

"it's nothing, bro, okay? don't worry about it."

john b stared at him incredulously. "j you have a job here. we literally own a business now, what are you-?"

"outside," jj said shortly, standing and walking out the back door quickly, john b following after. you looked up from your spot in the living room, glancing back at sarah with a shrug once the boys slipped outside.

once they stood face to face again, john b gestured for him to go on. "so?"

"look," jj said with a sigh. "i know we've got this shop, and it's so great. but, i just keep feeling like it's all too good to be true. like, we have this money now, but it's all gonna be gone in a second."

"it will be if you're the one in charge of it," john b said offhandedly. jj sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"and i know that too, alright? which is why i need more," he answered.

"why? what's going on that you need more money - and money that's separate from us?" john b asked, staring the boy down in pure curiosity. jj's eyes weren't on him though, instead going through the sliding glass door that separated them from their girls right to where you were painting once more, bobbing your head to the rhythm of the music sarah had turned on. "oh."

jj let out another heavy breath. "you and sarah are like, married now, right? and i can hear you guys when you're talking about starting a life together and me and y/n have started talking about it too recently... just, when the time comes i want to be able to provide for us. i want to be able to go out and buy her a ring and a dress and marry her and never have her worried about finances ever again. we've both had to deal with too much of that."

"wow, jayj," john b breathed out, a soft smile pulling at his lips as he rested a hand on his shoulder. "i'm impressed. you're really pulling it together, aren't you?"

"i'm trying," he said with a sigh. "i've worked a lot of jobs before and i'm willing to do it again. anything to make sure she's happy."

"she'll be happy with you no matter how much money you make," john b promised as he smiled at him. "and we'll all always have each other's backs. even if when y'all decide you want to be together forever you don't have all the money you want, we'll help you buy that ring and that dress and get it done."

"thanks, jb," jj breathed out, but with the lack of a smile and the tenseness in his shoulders still, john b knew he wasn't going to be accepting handouts anytime soon. even if it was still shared money between friends and not just handouts.

you'd recruited him to help finish up a few things in your bedroom, managing to finagle a thrifted and refinished dresser up the stairs and below the tv you'd stolen from your old bedroom. jj began hanging curtains as you put both sets of y'all's clothes away, giving yourself one extra drawer for your extra clothes. he finished before you did, watching you with a smile as you tucked his shirts into the top drawer all organized by color, finally shutting it to be done with the task.

"last thing to do is the bed," you hummed as you turned to him with a smile. you moved to begin pulling the white sheets on, jj tucking the corners before you grabbed out the blue comforter with a simple white stripe pattern that alternated thicknesses. "i nabbed this from my grandparents - my nana always buys them when they're on sale for christmas and never does anything with them."

"i know," he said with a light laugh, grabbing the opposite edge from you and helping you pull it over the sides. "she gave one to me for my birthday once. didn't exactly know why."

"because that's what she had and she probably felt bad," you answered, laughing softly with him. you tossed the throw blanket kie had given you for your birthday a few years back onto the corner to add dimension to the look, finally placing the two throw pillows you'd let yourself splurge $30 on at kohl's at the center. you smiled, glancing around the room before looking back at jj. "there. our room is complete."

he sauntered around the bed with a grin, taking you in his arms and leaning in close to your face as he met your eyes. "our own room, with our things, in our house with our friends, on our land, with our business down the road by our boat."

"our boat?" you asked with a teasing smile, hands wrapping around his neck as he held you close to him. "it's mine too?"

"what's mine is yours, princess," he told you, pressing a short kiss to your lips.

"even the dirtbike?" you asked, a brow raised in jest as a teasing smile tugged one corner of your mouth up.

"well, sure. it's yours too, but that doesn't mean you get to ride it, sweet thing," he answered with an amused grin, pressing more kisses to your lips and jaw.

"our next purchase should be a car. or a truck. an old truck. i like old trucks," you told him as his lips trailed to your neck. he paused, bringing his head back up to meet your eyes again, though his grip tightened on you.

"me too," he mumbled. "but, i think there's something we need to buy first."

"what?" you asked, tilting your head curiously. he glanced his focus between your eyes, a soft smile pulling at his lips.

"well, actually... i already bought it," he hummed. you sighed.

"and how much was it?" you asked, raising a brow.

"does it matter?" he asked, raising his brows as his smile grew.

"jay..." you groaned, head falling back in exasperation. "we talked about budgeting-"

"hey, hey, hey, hold on," he said, pulling you closer to him and catching your eyes again. his smile was mischievous as ever as he turned slowly, turning you with him. "you don't even know what it is yet."

you sighed, a small smile sneaking its way onto your lips. "alright. what is it?"

"well, my first paycheck just came in from working with your uncle, and i thought i might as well get it now," he said, dragging his words in the suspense as you continued to eye him. he looked you up and down, his smile still wide as he winked. "have i told you how good you look in that dress?"

"every time i've worn it," you laughed. "reckon that's why you bought it for me."

"damn right," he said, pressing a quick kiss to your lips. you giggled against him before pushing him back, raising your brows.

"what is it?" you asked, almost eager now. "what'd you buy?"

surprisingly, he released you, stepping back as he shoved a hand in his pocket. his smile was wide, but his eyes softened as he brought his hand out in front of him. he breathed out his next words nervously; "i really hope you like it."

and then he was on his knee, and in his fingers was a dainty, gold ring with a small circle diamond on top. right there, in the room you'd just finished, the room you shared, in the house you and your friends rebuilt, with the shop you owned just down the beach - he was proposing.

"i really want to marry you," he breathed out with a nervous laugh, his fingers squeezing the ring tightly. "you're the love of my life, y/n. i really don't know what i'd do without you. being with you has been the easiest and best damn thing i've ever done and i want to be with you for as long as you'll let me. so, will you please marry me? i promise to provide for you and be there for you and-"

"yes," you said, beaming as you took his face in your hands. you laughed lightly. "absolutely yes, jayj."

he kissed you quickly, standing and wrapping his arms around your waist as he leaned into you. when he pulled back, he was laughing, causing you to let out a few giggles, wiping away a small tear at the corner of his eye. he kissed you shortly before bringing the ring to you, slipping it on the proper finger with a certain look of pride in his eye.

"it's uh, it's not much, it's not even a real diamond but i-"

"i love it," you cut him off, holding his hand as you glanced between him and the ring, beaming. "i love it, jayj. thank you."

he smiled, a breath of relief slipping past his lips as he gathered you in his arms again, spinning you quickly. he pulled back and pressed a chaste kiss to your lips again before stepping back away from you. he let out an excited whoop, grinning at you. he grabbed your hand and pulled the door open, dragging you with him down the stairs.

"she said yes!"

[maple-the-awesome]

Prettiest One In The Room || Part 1/2

Pairing: Mob! (any) Peter Parker x Reader

Words: 4,678

Overview: Given your family's history, you should've expected judgment from those of higher wealth in whom you've unfortunately been more exposed to given your new 'position'. Luckily, while you may be hurt by the cruel remarks and snide laughter of others, Peter Parker will never stand for anyone insulting his new wife.

Warning: Bullying and suggestive content, but nothing too serious nor detailed (yet)

Is this one of my longest one-shots? Am I writing a smutty part 2? Yes, yes to both 😏

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You hate the color red.

You hate how much attention it draws to your eyes, acting as a glittery highlight that outshines the sharp black point painted over your eyelids. You hate the way it contrasts against your bare skin, parting mere inches down your thigh in a way that would expose your whole leg if you stand too widely. Most importantly of all, you hate its chill against your chest, sinking through what was once a bearable shade to create a darker stain dipping down from your breasts to nearly your stomach in a splotch that's impossible to hide nor fade no matter how much you scrub at it.

At this point, you've managed to ruin two innocent white towels whose only crimes were being folded into a pleasant stack in between each ceramic sink. The second proved just as useless as the first, somehow absorbing the stain without doing anything to actually rid of it from your dress. The soft fabric which is only comparable to the fur of a rabbit offers little comfort to your swirling nerves nor does it pacify your distressed sobs as you clench this towel in hand and bow your head in shame in front of the mocking mirror before you.

The once perfect makeup that Mary Jane had spent well over an hour applying to your face has long been smeared, the black eyeliner and mascara inseparable as it traces your tears down your cheeks which further creates damage to whatever blush and foundation your maid had picked out. The only makeup that has somehow remained intact throughout the night is your far too bright lipstick, although that's only because you've gone through extreme lengths to preserve it, refusing drinks or snacks for that purpose alone; not that it matters anymore...

Why is it that life loves to throw you off your feet the second everything's finally going well? You don't even use that word lightly or to any extreme. 'Well' as in you weren't dreading every second or breath. 'Well' since you genuinely smiled at some jokes thrown into the conversation. 'Well' because for once, you didn't feel any need to shy away from your husband's touch, instead letting his hand rest comfortably on your hip as he tugged your body against his.

Happy moments are a rare find; they always have been. Born into a poor family knee deep in debt thanks to your parents' gambling addictions, you've grown up fully aware that you could never ask for much. While other little girls dreamed of finding their prince or princess in shining armor, you had never been so foolish. Perhaps you always knew deep down where your life could possibly lead, however that didn't waiver the absolute shock you felt once those fears had actually been confirmed.

While your parents have always been cruel and selfish, you never imagined it going as far as to quite literally sell you off. Even that doesn't feel like a proper description for what exactly happened. Really, they could've sold you off to plenty of other men, ones with petty criminal records, sure, but nothing to the extent of what your husband holds in his own hands.

A mob boss. You almost laughed at the thought that that's actually a real job, although the sound quickly became bitter by the stone expressions your parents stared at you with. Your hand in marriage in exchange for paying off every loan shark with your parents on speed dial; a fair trade in their eyes, but not yours.

The only comfort you’ve felt after your parents' betrayal isn't one they can claim. Instead, that prize belongs solely to your husband because despite his cruel reputation and ever crueler line of work, he is, very shockingly, a respectable gentleman at least towards you.

Peter Parker had only barely turned sixteen when he took over the family business from his late uncle. Wanting to respect a memory, he's worked hard to teach a lesson to anyone who laughed at the scrawny teenager living within a shadow and in no time at all, he rose out of that shadow, becoming arguably the most feared man in New York by utilizing the same strategies taught to him by his beloved uncle. Of course, how to run a successful mob wasn't the only lesson Benjamin Parker passed down to his nephew. Apparently, he had taught a great deal about how to respect women, too.

While sour about the marriage yourself, you must admit Peter has been nothing but sweet and understanding towards your discomfort (again, shocking given his job). By the time you first moved into his luxurious mansion, he already had a room set up specifically for you. Painted in your favorite color with the softest of bed covers, the room was more than anything you've ever owned with tons of books, art supplies, make-up, and about anything else a young woman might enjoy, but just in case he had guessed wrong or forgotten something, Peter made sure to provide an unlimited credit card for you to use at your disposal.

If the room hadn't been enough, Mary Jane had been hired since your husband figured you'd have better luck being comfortable around a woman your own age and from a similar background. Every morning, she greets you with a smile while bringing you breakfast accompanied by a freshly picked rose and handwritten letter she assures are gifts from Peter's hand alone.

Then for the rest of the day, you're allowed to go and do as you please in the mansion, Peter’s only request being that you don't leave without proper security and that you always share dinner with him at six thirty sharp every night. Sometimes you sit in silence, sometimes you tell him about your day, sometimes he tells you about his (outside of work matters, of course); never does he push you out of your comfort zone.

You respect Peter for all of that. He could easily do as he pleases with you at any point and, as arguably the most powerful man in New York City, who would ever stop him? Instead, he is, daresay, a model husband who dotes on his wife so much that despite all prior judgment, she actually started falling in love with him.

Peter has upheld his role flawlessly throughout the last seven months, thus you've felt bold in wanting to raise up to yours at last. Slowly yet surely, you've managed to open up to him: visiting him in his office when home, joking at the dinner table, and even requesting date nights (you swear he looked like a child on Christmas when you first shyly asked).

Tonight was meant to be the cherry on top. Peter had mentioned a dinner party off hand earlier in the week, not truly expecting you to willingly volunteer to go with him. Honestly, you actually surprised yourself with the request, too, not usually being one for fancy get-togethers especially those attended by hordes of rich socialites, politicians, and who knows what other criminals, but it’s worth a good date, isn’t it?

In preparation for said date, you had gone out with Mary Jane (and your ten security guards) to pick out the perfect outfit which ended up being a red slip dress that hugs your body flawlessly, stretching down to nearly the floor with a gap in fabric over your thigh. Although not a dress you'd normally be comfortable wearing, you felt excitement choosing it solely because of your desire to capture Peter's eye while wearing something sexy tailored to his favorite color. This paid off, too. All night, you've felt his eyes linger on you, often dropping a bit lower than appropriate, but you are his wife and his gaze is only fair. If only he knew what you're wearing underneath.

Tonight you didn't just want to tease your husband. No, your plan went deeper than that. You want him; dearly so. You wanted him to be enhanced by your beauty, barely able to keep his hands off of you on the car ride home where he would finally have freedom to ravish you for the first time. That's why you agreed to this date and went on that shopping trip with Mary Janes. It's why you've been so nervous yet giddy, replaying her advice in your head in hopes of finally utilizing it…Unfortunately, there's always a miscalculation to every plan.

Everything was going well at first. Despite your initial discomfort regarding your revealing outfit, you soon began to feel just as sexy as you looked thanks to Peter's praises which seemed constant throughout the night. Every time a businessman or friend turned their attention away, your husband's mouth was against your ear, whispering another compliment which, unknowingly to him, sent heat to more places than just your cheeks. He was perfectly within your grasp, hooked to your string and all you had to do was reel him in the second this stupid party finishes…Then trouble found its way to you.

Much to your dismay, your husband isn't the only one here who knows your story. When the Big Bad Peter Parker got married, news spread fast within his social circle. Even if someone managed to miss it then, they would’ve learned it by now since it's rather difficult to miss the way he hugs a random girl to his side all night, not to mention his hand is absent of all his normal, extravagant rings because ever since the wedding, only the single golden band around his finger has truly mattered.

Now, it would be one thing for Peter Parker to get married, however the reaction changes depending on the bride. No one could comprehend how someone like him would 'settle' for a poor girl with a last name known by practically every loan shark in New York, therefore your existence at this party has made quite a strong appearance in party gossip.

Originally, you didn't hear any of it, only feeling the burning stares behind your head yet choosing to dismiss them as your imagination, after all, Peter hadn’t shown any sign of hearing or seeing anything, thus it must not have actually occurred, right? You’re just a little uneasy given the crowd is all.

Then Peter left. It wasn’t meant to be long, only a quick chat with a man who begged for his time to finish an urgent business deal. Although Peter refused at first, you stupidly convinced him to reconsider.

“It seems important, so you should go.”

“Don’t worry about me, I can manage on my own just fine”.

You assured him that you’d wait patiently in place for his return, a promise sealed by the quick peck he gave to your cheek before going off. It should’ve been an easy wait from there. As the party’s natural outcast, you didn’t think anyone would care to approach you then, but it proved to be quite the contrary, unfortunately.

Four women took the golden opportunity to stroll over, presenting themselves as friendly while asking about your dress and wondering about your husband. You answered each as if being quizzed, doing your best to awkwardly laugh at their ‘jokes’ which held poorly hidden jabs towards you. Needless to say, it didn’t take you long to realize this group’s true intentions, but too cowardly to disappear into the sea of people to escape them, you remained as their punching bag, fruitlessly ignoring the pain of their insults which only grew more direct.

“A poor, ugly slut who managed to blackmail Parker into marrying her so that he could be her sugar daddy! How pathetic!”

That's one of things they said about you anyways. How they managed to make such a mean spirited sentence roll of their tongues like it’s just friendly banter is beyond you, however it still brought a sting to your eyes.

“What do you have on him, huh? Did you dig up dirt on him and threaten to hand it over to the police?”

“Did your family trick him? Make you wear a veil until the vows were done? Oh, I bet he was pissed!”

“She’s probably one of his hookers who decided to fake a pregnancy or something!”

Each woman listed the many rumors they've heard throughout the night, making sure you understand the bottomline of what everyone else has been thinking: you don't belong with Peter. Whatever reason he had for marrying you, it wasn't for you because who in their right mind would do that?

"How foolish are you to think Parker would actually be attracted to an ugly slut like you?" That was the last of it which came as a literal splash when the woman threw her red wine over the front of your dress followed by a chorus of her peers’ wicked laughter.

You were understandably horrified and embarrassed by the situation. It felt like every soul in the room was staring and laughing with them, mocking you for having such a childish dream of actually believing your husband might love you. Now how will he be enhanced by your beauty or even think of touching you on the car ride home? Why would he feel an ounce of desire in ravishing you ever let alone tonight? He can barely stand looking at you as it is!

Your violent sobbing halts quickly when you hear the door of the bathroom open. A chilled panic runs down your spine, worrying that the women have returned to bully you further. The difference would be the lack of witnesses. In theory, they could do whatever they wish while you have zero protection.

Instead of hearing their snickering, you hear your name whispered breathlessly yet somehow, that's worse to hear, causing your grip to tighten over the towel as you fight unsuccessfully to stop your tears.

"Princess, what happened? Who did this to you?" Peter shows no regard towards this being the women's bathroom, his only concern being to rush to your side and immediately begin examining the damage. A red wine stain drenching the front of your body, your make-up having encountered a tsunami of tears, your breathing uneven...This was not how he left you fifteen minutes ago.

"Who did this?" He repeats his question when you don't answer the first time, cupping your cheeks in his large hands and forcing you gently to look into his eyes. There's a hateful glimmer in them, one that promises trouble the second you mumble a name, but you refuse to.

"I-It's nothing-"

"-I return to the party to find my wife gone, hidden in the bathroom clearly distraught with wine spilled all over her-"

"-I spilled it myself-"

"-Bullshit," Peter curses with narrowed eyes which silences you instantly," you haven't had a single drink all night. I refuse to believe you conveniently retrieved one and spilled it over yourself within the short time that I was away. I'm smarter than to believe that. Damn it, I only left your side for ten minutes."

Peter's furious, but not towards you. He’s furious with himself if anything. Given his line of work, the number one rule he lives by is to never trust even those working alongside you. Anyone can hold a knife behind their back, preparing for the opportunity to strike the second it’s presented, thus Peter's always sure to never provide that change be it regarding his business or his personal affairs. It's what Ben always warned him about. Ben never left May out of his sight when attending social gatherings or going out in public because it would be too easy for someone to target her to get to him.

Peter should've been like Ben. He shouldn't have left your side especially when you're so new to all of this. You aren't May. You haven't spent decades by Peter's side yet, learning the ins and outs of his work along the way to form your own thick skin and survival instincts. You've only been married for seven months. Hell, you hadn’t even begun seeing Peter as a husband until last month and he's already fucked it up!

"...It doesn't matter what happened, Peter, so...let's not start a fuss," your words are sweet, attempting to makehim feel better in this situation instead of yourself. Your thoughtfulness would make him smile if not for how much his blood boils right now.

With a sigh, Peter runs his thumb against your mascara stained cheek softly," a fuss? I don't cause 'fusses', sweetheart, although that's what whoever did this to you can hope for once I find them out...and I will find them out whether you're the one to tell me or not, so out with it. I'll ask this one last time before I run my own investigation: Who. Did. This. To. You?"

Biting your lip, you want to deny it further, however you give into Peter's intense stare by directing your own to the tile floor," just a group of women...I don't know their names…”

"What were they wearing?"

"Peter-"

"Describe them to me," he lifts your chin with his ring finger, staring into your eyes with a whisper," I won't hurt them. I'll even forgive them for you if you ask nicely, but they still need to understand what they did wrong. 'just a friendly little warning for what happens when they upset my beloved."

Briefly, you wonder what ‘friendly’ might mean to Peter. His knuckles are rough, scarred from all the beatings he’s delivered over the years. While you’d like to think he’d show a bit more restraint than to physically harm anyone over something so silly as hurt feelings and a wine stain, even a ‘friendly’ car ride to the docks doesn’t seem outside the realm of possibilities for your husband.

Nevertheless, you have observed his habits well enough to understand one thing for certain: Peter’s too persistent and stubborn for his own good. Since he’s clearly already set his mind to it, you aren’t going to win this argument, therefore you must give in, telling him the descriptions of the four women from earlier.

Once you begin talking, Peter steps away from you and pulls out his phone, promptly texting someone who you assume to be one of his security guards scouting the ballroom outside. All the while you wait patiently, hugging your bare arms which are beginning to feel cold. Actually, they’ve been cold for a while, however you had elected to ignore it until now for the sake of making this dress work.

Peter speaks your name again, letting it roll off his tongue like sugar. This beckons you to lift your gaze, meeting his eyes when he looks away from his phone," is that all they did to you?"

"Um..." You toy with the idea of nodding and allowing this situation to end on an early note, but seeing as you’ve already hesitated aloud, Peter will no doubt notice the lie," they...said some cruel things, too.”

"Like what?" He steps closer to you, but stops immediately when you step back into the counter as a response,"...like what, sweetheart?"

"They, um..." you swallow, cursing yourself for that returned feeling of needles pricking your eyes. You can’t cry again, not in front of Peter. What would he possibly think of a wife who can’t handle simple words? You must be stronger than this!

"They just couldn't believe that you married me. They thought my family might've blackmailed you or something because...because I'm not fit for you."

"Not fit for me?" Peter echoes only the last part, moving his shoe against the ground yet suppressing his desire to step towards you again. It wouldn’t be a wise move given how uncomfortable you already are," why wouldn't you be fit for me? I mean - I suppose if anything - a devil shouldn't be married to an angel...but that isn't what they meant, was it?"

Your lip tugs slightly, wanting so desperately to believe he sees you as an angel. Alas, you shake your head,"...Peter, just look at me."

"I am looking at you. I've been looking at you all night, my princess - if you haven't noticed."

"I'm not pretty or anything-”

"-Now that's bullshit," Peter tilts his head with a crooked smile, attempting to gain a better view of your face despite how much you avoid him at every angle," because the way I see it, you've been the prettiest one in that room all night. As I said, I've barely been able to take my eyes off of you…That dress; it’s gorgeous on you. ‘fits like a glove, not to mention red is my favorite color; even more so when it’s on you."

"...So, you like it?" You dare to ask, looking up at him fully with a hint of a hopeful smile. You're pleased to see him nod eagerly.

"Of course! In fact, I’m buying you a new one first thing tomorrow; one that isn’t stained in wine so that you may wear it more often. Hell! I wouldn’t be against the idea of you casually wearing something like that just around the house," Peter smirks when adding," you look sexy, if I may say."

"That was the goal."

"Was it now?"

You nod shyly,"...I knew you like red and I wanted to look good for you tonight."

"Then count me as the luckiest man alive," at last, Peter steps forward, watching your reaction to ensure you’re comfortable with the movement. It only takes him two steps to be directly in front of you, his hand brushing your arm as he takes this quiet moment to think,"...I did marry you as a business deal."

You frown at his sudden confession, your heart skipping a beat, however before you can let it crack, Peter continues.

"But it was a deal set up on my own accord with my own terms. No, you weren't given to me nor was I backed into a corner by your family and forced to marry you. I chose you. I saw your picture by chance yet it was love at first sight; I wanted you to be mine. My only problem was your parents.

“You know, believe it or not but despite all their dull-witted habits, your folks can apparently grow brain cells once they realize they actually have the one up on someone for once and that’s exactly what they had on me. I wanted you, their daughter, thus they suggested a deal: I could be with you so long as I settle all their debts while I am. As long as they controlled you, they could keep us both under their thumb. ‘guess they thought they were pretty clever with that logic. ‘didn’t notice the small writing at the end of their own pen till it was too late to revise.”

“And what was that?” You gulp, feeling small under Peter’s stare. Have you ever gotten this close to him before; close enough to see every change in shade to his eyes where his irises get lighter closer to his pupils? They’re beautiful…

“The deal only worked in their favor as long as you were theirs to control - their property. Now, I simply refuse to sit around as anyone’s puppet let alone theirs which is why I jumped right to the vows instead of a more formal relationship to start. Once you became my wife, you became mine, not theirs; according to the contract at least.

“…I know it’s fucked up. I was selfish and I apologize for that. I also apologize for your treatment as an object in this case. I promise, I intended no harm to you, my love; not an ounce. I had only hoped that we could let our relationship grow while never feeling the stress of them holding the strings…I want us to be happy, owing them absolutely nothing; not money, not obedience, not even communication if we desire it.”

"Is that why they looked so upset at the wedding?" You remember the bitterness your family clearly held that day, not that you cared to ask them about it then. Instead, you felt satisfied seeing it, figuring it was very much deserved. Even now, you feel the same; let them be bitter for treating you as a bargaining tool.

Peter trails his touch up your arm, fixing the strap of your dress onto your shoulder with a chuckle,"...none were pleased, but I’ll have it be known that I did at least settle the debts that they had at the time, thus I wasn’t as much of an asshole as I could’ve been.”

“A part of me wishes you had been.”

Peter’s eyes glimmer at your harsh remark, although he decides to move along with his point rather than gush over your attractive feistiness,” you’re my wife based on choice, regardless of what others have tried to tell you. I love you, princess.

“I love how beautiful you look without even trying- even after just rolling out of bed with your hair a mess. I love how you keep standing, never letting the world beat you too low because deep down, I think you know your own worth. That's why you kept me fighting for you in the first place, right? You kept your distance until I gained your respect. A lot of girls try falling into my arms, you know? They don't get it, but you do: love is something to be earned and shared.”

Pausing momentarily, Peter's hand brushes against yours blindly until it runs against your diamond ring- one worth a dizzying amount to you yet to him, it's only a small fraction of what he believes you're truly deserving of. If he could have it his way, he'd have a literal star built into that gem on your finger.

"This is a commitment," his breath is gentle, blowing against the crook of your neck as he hovers there. Ever so softly, his hands grasp both of yours," you are my wife; my greatest treasure not for just your body or looks, but for you as a person. 'doesn't matter how anyone else sees it…and I'm willing to prove that to you in any way, too.”

Honestly, Peter only says this as a means to tease you. His laughter is held right on the tip of his tongue, prepared to announce he's only joking around to lighten the mood, however he's ill-prepared for the shock that is you giving a nervous smile. It's small, barely noticeable to the eye, especially given the way you stare at the floor in embarrassment while providing your own reply.

"I would like you to," you curse yourself for such a pathetic response. Based on your husband's wide eyes as he stares at you in amazement, he clearly meant the question as rhetorical and not at all in the way you decided to imply, but unfortunately, the words have already left your mouth along with the damage.

"...I'm sorry. I-"

"-Do you really want me to?" Peter sounds so childish, looking the part, too. He practically glows, so eager to hear your answer yet watching you carefully to study your reaction more closely this time because apparently, as it's just now come to his attention, he doesn't know his wife as well as he had previously thought.

"I mean...I, um..." You, as a great contrast, stumble over your words, needing time to create this answer he so desperately waits for.

While shy to admit such an embarrassing thing, you’ve worked so hard preparing for this moment. Okay, admittedly this isn’t entirely loyal to the perfect image you’ve been holding mentally. You had expected to be sinking into the fluffy covers of either Peter’s or your bed, pushed down by the man in question as he showers in love while blanked in the darkness of a room deprived from any possible distractions.

A bright, public women’s bathroom where anyone could walk in at any given moment to destroy your private and intimate deeds wasn’t originally within your realm of possibilities nor is it ideal…but wouldn’t it be a shame to deny Peter when he’s quite literally inches away from you, happy to accept that precious thing you’ve been saving just for him? If anything, you’ve earned it after all you’ve been put through tonight!

Taking in a breath, you look at your husband confidently with a quick nod despite the unwanted quiver in your voice," w-well, if you're offering, I would like that very much..."

PART 2 ➡️

[crybabycinna]

The Spirits

Sugar mama Lin Beifong x sugar baby reader

Summary: you tell Lin more about your past

When we got home Lin hung up our paintings. “Yay.” I said. Miyuki meowed. “Thank you.” I said. “You’re welcome.” Lin said. “The apartment just keeps getting better.” I said. “Mhm.” Lin hummed. “Sooo do you mind showing us your drawings?” I asked. “Sure.” Lin said then reached over to her drawer and pulled out a sketchbook. I took the sketchbook and started to flip through the pages. I stopped at one. It was a drawing of two small badger moles holding hands like the stuffed animals I bought for Lin. I smiled. “I drew that one when you left.” Lin says. “I love it.” I said. I kept flipping and saw a drawing of me while I was sleeping.

“Is this me?” I asked and looked at her. Lin nodded. “Wow you made me so pretty.” I said. “You’re very beautiful.” Lin told me. I kissed her cheek. Miyuki jumped into the bed and looked at the drawing as well. “That’s mama.” I told her. Miyuki meowed. “Yes I agree Linny is very talented.” I said. “I could be better.” Lin mumbled. “You’re perfect. I love it all. Give yourself more credit.” I said. She shrugged. “We think you’re amazing, right Miyuki?” I asked. Miyuki sat in Lin’s lap and meowed. “Thanks.” Lin said. “You’re going to look so pretty in the dress I make you for our wedding.” I told Miyuki. “Did you see Tenzin’s face when Korra asked us about getting married?” Lin asked.

“That was hilarious. He was so shocked.” I said. Lin nodded. “ I don’t think he thought I’d ever get married. I don’t think anyone thought I would get married.” Lin said. “Oh honey no one thinks I’m getting married either.” I said. “Even before your dad tried to marry you off, did you ever think of getting married?” Lin asked. “I did when I was a kid but that died down when everyone said oh you’re too rough and you don’t know how to be a homemaker and other stuff.” I said. “Too rough and you don’t know how to be a homemaker?” Lin asked.

I nodded. “You’re not rough at all and you clearly know how to be a homemaker.” Lin said. “Oh, I used to be rough. I changed myself a lot.” I said. “What do you mean?” Lin asked. “I told you that I used to fight a lot. I fought my brother, I fought my dad, I fought anyone that got in my way or pissed me off.” I said. “You didn’t tell me you fought your dad.” Lin said. “The first time I fought him was because he was trying to shoot lightning at my sister's back because she pissed him off for some reason and I was not having it. I saved her and he was pissed so we argued and it got physical but it wasn’t as bad as our second fight.” I said. “What was that one like?” Lin asked. I sighed.

~Flashback *camera zoom in and zoom out effect*~

“I can’t believe you embarrassed me like that.” My dad hissed as we walked towards the house. “Why are you so surprised?” I asked. “Excuse me?” He asked. “You are literally selling me off to a creep and you expect me to play nice with him!” I shout. “Watch your tone and you should be grateful that he wants you! No one else will!” Dad shouted. “I would rather be lonely than with a man like that! He likes little girls! He’s weird! He was trying to touch me the whole time we were there and you didn’t care at all!” I shouted. “You are so dramatic.” He said. “I see why grandpa cut you off. You’re a sick motherfucker and he hates you.” I said.

My dad slapped me across the face. I stumbled a bit then looked at him. “Get in the house.” My dad said. I bawled up my fist then punched him. After that the gloves were off. Fist were thrown, fire was being shot everywhere and blood was leaking. “You stupid fucking girl!” Dad shouted. “Fuck you!” I shouted. “Stop!” My sister shouted as she came running towards us. I didn’t care to listen and just kept swinging and kicking. I had burned my dads jacket and I burned my own shoes because I was too angry to take them off before I started fighting. He busted my lip, I busted his. Everything he did to me I did right back. All my rage went into every punch or kick.

How could he just try and sell me? How could he let that man try and touch me? What could I have possibly done to deserve this? My sister grabbed me and tried to pull me away but I didn’t let her. I pushed her away and charged back at my dad. He kicked me in my chest and I fell. I groaned and he quickly grabbed me by the neck. “Dad please!” My sister shouted. I panicked for a second but quickly got it together and scratched my dad in the face and he let go of me. I coughed then got up. “I’ll kill you little girl.” He growled. “Not if I kill you first.” I said and had lightning coming from my fingers.

“No!” My sister shouted. I shot lightning right at my dads back. He shook for a while then fell down. I walked over to him and he still shook a bit. “How does it feel to be shot in your back?” I asked. My fathers wife came running out and pushed me out of the way. “Oh honey!” She shouted. I walked into the house and my sister dragged me upstairs to start patching me up. “I can’t believe you did that.” She said. “He's fine I’m sure.” I said. “How are you sure?” She asked. “The spirits won’t let him die.” I said.

~Flashback over~

“And he didn’t die like I said the spirits wouldn’t let him die.” I said. “Were you actually trying to kill him?” Lin asked. “I don’t know. I was just angry.” I said. “I’m sorry he let that guy touch you.” Lin said. “It wasn’t anything too bad. He just touched my thigh, my hand and my hair. It was uncomfortable but I’m just glad it wasn’t worse.” I said. “He shouldn’t have been touching you at all. I’m sorry that happened to you.” Lin said. I shrugged. Miyuki rubbed against my hand and I petted her. “I’m ok.” I told her.

[aisling-saoirse]

Princess Tree - Paulownia tomentosa

Today's Plant Profile is a little different, I wanted to cover an 'invasive' that fascinated me.

Before I begin I wanted to dissect my terminology on invasive, the term is often thrown at plants without considering a racialized and often problematic methodology on how we relate to these species. Invasive species are typically advantageous in the face of disturbance and quick to colonize altered areas, the monumental spread of invasives is a direct result of euro-centric land commodification, international trade and colonization. These species would not be as 'destructive' as they are without dramatic change to wildspaces/once-thoroughly-managed landscapes. You don't have to love these plants but understand that they often occupy spaces we disturbed, and that doesnt mean i want monocultures of introduced species but we should analyze what makes them thrive the way they do. I usually cover natives species to a document a dramatic loss I noticed in my lifetime however every plant has a good story behind.

To start let's identify the Princess Tree! Best known for their showy pink-lavender foxglove like flowers, perfect structural form, and massive leaves. This tree can grow up 90 feet, it's extremely fast growing, full trees can form between bricks (see 2 images below). The massive leaves are heart-shaped cataylpa-like often exceeding a foot in size (I see people use them as umbrellas in a pinch). The bark is pretty light in color, younger bark is speckled then becomes furrowed with age. The flowers are rather large, about the size of my palm (image 2), typically growing in large triangular clusters. In fall and winter, flowers typically form this large rough shell (see branch cuttings below) that splits overtime, more about that later.

The Princess Tree has a very rich folklore and introduced history behind it. According to my Chinese classmates the Princess Tree gets it's name from an old story about a beloved betrothed Princess who was transformed into this tree by a trickster, her husband-to-be was transformed into a Phoenix and it's said that when a ruler as great as she returns the Phoenix will land on its branches. I see (mostly western anecdotes) claim that this tree is planted when girls are born and the wood is used as a dowry, my classmates did not agree with this (take note these are landscape students). The wood is very sought-after in east Asia as it is sturdy and light, occasionally some american cities will sell the wood from invasive groves back to China, how fascinating!

The introduced history comes in two parts. The first the tree was initially sold as an ornamental originating from the Dutch east India company, the tree reached America by the 1830s. Due to the structure of the tree itself up into the mid century, modernist designers LOVED this tree, I've seen so many architectural drawings lovingly depicting it's big leaves. The second interesting facet about this tree's spread is that certain Chinese porcelain companies used to use the seed pods as a form of packing peanuts. Since the porcelain was primarily shipped by train in continent the tree quickly took hold around rail lines, if you look in philadelphia the oldest trees are around the railroads. The tree was able to survive in the desolate railway soils because it (like most invasive species) is able to derive nitrogen directly from the atmosphere into its roots. That's why you see these babies growing directly in a brick wall like below, crazy right?

The Princess Tree's native range is central to Western China, not much is know about it's natural habitat because literal millenia of civilization scale landscape changes. What is known is that the tree was typically found in dry-ravines and open valleys. Due to the movement of interesting botanical species the tree found found itself everywhere, even in Catherine the Great's royal garden and eventually into colonial-core markets. In America its currently invasive from Pennsylvania to Florida but can be found in almost every major city.

As said before it typically only invades disturbed locations, it's a pioneer species therefore it's advantageous in areas of full sun, poor soil, and generally super dry. The tree can honestly grow anywhere but typically only thrives in that disturbance niche, it has trouble invading older growth forests. The tree itself usually doesn't live more than 70ish years and after that a new ecology typically sprouts from the area it formerly inhabited, this tree is very good at building a fertile soil network from its nitrogen rich leaves. It must be said that this tree does rootsprout vigorously, and these sprouts can grow a shocking 15 feet in one growing season!!! Trees derived from seed usually take 3 years to reach that size (see my alleyway below)...for basically any oak it would take like 10 years to maybe reach that.

As for ethnobotanical usage, this is invasive so I'm going to recommend you just use this tree to death honestly. The massive leaves are very rich in nitrogen and make great compost. Leaves also make an umbrella in a pinch. The tree is super vigorous and a rapid grower so you can imagine it makes great coppice (and for my silvoculturists: leaves makes good animal fodder). The flowers have a lovely scent and look like foxglove without the poison (and they last a while). The wood is quite light lovely and workable, it reminds me of a lighter colored black locust. Apparently this tree also utlizes C⁴ photosynthesis which utilizing a different compound of carbon to derive energy, that's kind of interesting. It has a lot of great qualities honestly, as far as invasives go I really like this tree.

If you want to plant this tree...don't <3...there's enough, go to any city to experience it. In Eastern America some good alternatives are northern catalypa or black locust. If any of my Chinese followers know the full Princess story I would love to hear about it! As always happy hunting!

[home-for-wayward-fawns]

༺♥📺 𝒜 𝑀𝑜𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇'𝓈 𝒟𝑒𝓋𝑜𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃 🦌♥༻

𝒞𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝑒𝓇 2: 𝒜 𝒟𝑜𝑒 𝒾𝓃 𝐻𝑒𝓁𝓁

‎‎‧₊˚✧[Thank you to my wonderful editor @safety-pin-angel-wings, @the-demon-of-a-thousand-eyes]✧˚₊‧

After being in Hell for a while, Carla finds herself lost and without purpose, until she meets a striking young lady in need of a mother figure. She is determined to turn this happy hotel into a home, and with The Radio Demon's help, what could possibly go wrong?

Carla had lived a long, happy life. 

She lived to ninety-nine years old; she was a mother, a grandmother, and a great-grandmother, and despite knowing eternal paradise was not the in cards, she refused to regret the decision she had made. 

She had arrived in Hell, naked as the day she was born, and what she quickly learnt was that she could never have been ready for this. 

The first thing she learned was that someone was playing quite the glorious practical joke on her with her own body, a doe in the centre of an anarchist city. Her ears seemed insistent on revealing to everyone just how terrified she was constantly, though at least she was fast; the first day had been an adventure of running away from literally everyone who approached her. 

The second thing she learned was that sinners had one thing to bargain with, their souls, and Carla had already given hers away. 

The third thing she learned was that it was typical that when a bartered soul fell to their demise, their new owner would appear before them, always ready to cash in the cheque. No one had seen Lucifer in years, and as such, Carla was on her own. She had no overlord to rely on and nothing to sell, so she got very good at running, and even better at hiding. 

Carla had been barely keeping her head above water, struggling to wade through the tar that was her new reality; there was an ease to motherhood that she missed. The trials were testing, but failure wasn't an option, so she never did. 

Now failure wasn't just an option, but it was her new reality. She was constantly running, constantly hiding, and on her darkest days, she wanted to get caught. 

She just so happened to be running when she ran into a young girl pretending to be a woman. She was a beautiful young thing, much taller than Carla herself, but there was a twitch in her eye and an awkwardness to her smile. It was the face Poppy always had when she was trying to prove she was a big girl now, and there was a pang in her heart.

“Sorry, fuck—I’m just— I’m sorry,” The woman sighed, running her hand down her face and Carla raised an eyebrow. 

“Well, that’s hardly the language suited to such a lovely young lady. I was always raised to make a positive introduction. Carla Gill, my lovely, and what’s your name?” Carla spoke smoothly, extending out her arm, shooting a soft smile in this young girl’s direction. 

“You don’t know my name?” The woman asked, and then Carla watched her eyes light up in 

real-time, and it was the moment when your kid finally worked out the big bad math problem and it made her heart skip a beat in familiarity, “Erm, so my name is Charlie, and I run this hotel,” 

Charlie spoke as if someone might steal her breath from her lungs, as she rooted through a 

briefcase and pulled out these scraps of paper. It took Carla’s breath away, who had allowed this girl to fall into this cesspool? Charlie shoved pieces of paper into her face, explaining that she ran this hotel focused on redeeming the irredeemable, and of course she did. The papers were scribbled over with drawings and large words, all in glittery pens, and covered in hearts and stars. Carla listened attentively as Charlie spoke, her heart filling with a joy she hadn’t felt since she landed in Hell, but as had become her new reality, all good things were to be rudely interrupted. 

“Hon, can we just go get Angel and just go home please,” a young woman interrupted with an exasperated tone, and while Carla kept her gentle smile up, she narrowed her eyes. 

“Did your mother never tell you it’s rude to interrupt a conversation?” Carla asked, raising an eyebrow, “Charlie here was just telling me about her wonderful hotel,” 

“You’re interested in the hotel?” The woman asked skeptically. 

The woman of grey complexion had a scowl across her face, while she held a spear and had a big X mark where one of her eyes should be. 

Where on Earth was this young lady’s Father, and why did he allow her to be escorted by this dangerous individual?

“Who couldn’t be with this young lady’s passion? I’m sure she’ll have queues around the block before long,” Carla made sure to keep her voice sickly sweet as she narrowed her eyes 

“Heh, well I don’t know about that, I just did an interview and it didn’t go well,” Charlie said, wiping her hands across her face to swipe at the tears that threatened to fall. 

“Charlie, hon,” Vaggie tried to interrupt again, but Carla took Charlie’s hands in her own. 

“I’m sure that’s not the case darling, why my father always told me, a mistake made is a lesson learned!” Carla beamed up at her, “I’d love to see your hotel,” 

“Well, we do need to go pick up Angel Dust first…but you could come with us! Then we can go see the hotel!” 

Carla felt a real smile spread across her face as Carla looped her arm in Charlie’s and she was led off to a limousine. 

The limousine ride was a quiet, awkward one as the previously mentioned Angel Dust played with the window controls. Carla tilted her head as she looked him up and down. He was a skinny, feminine-built thing, and it was evident he got a sense of sick enjoyment out of irritating the woman whose name she had learned was ‘Vaggie’. No wonder the young woman was so angry if her mother had seen fit to give her such a name. 

Carla sat with one leg crossed over the other as she leaned back. It was clear that whatever had happened at the interview still had Charlie in a rather sour mood, but she was trying to stay positive. Vaggie’s eyes were twitching and it made Carla smile fondly. It rather reminded her of when the twins were trying to irritate each other before Harry would slap them around the back of the head. 

“What?” Angel asked incredulously, and Carla leaned forward in shock as Vaggie exploded. 

“What?! What?! What the fuck were you thinking?!” 

Carla gasped in shock, lifting her hand to cover her mouth. 

“Young lady! I think it is highly hypocritical for you to be lecturing people on redemption when you swear like a sailor! I’m sure this is a conversation that can be had over a warm meal at the dinner table,” 

A silence fell over the limousine as Angel smirked at Vaggie, but the angry woman did fall quiet. 

“Maybe a warm dinner would help,” She muttered. 

Carla watched Charlie shoot Vaggie a shocked look as she looked back. 

It was hardly strange that Vaggie had agreed with her; it was just common logic after all. 

The small group walked into the lobby of the hotel, and Carla struggled to keep her usual gentle smile up. Vaggie collapsed onto a sofa, groaning into a pillow while Angel went over to the fridge to pull out some melted popsicles. 

It was clear that an attempt had been for a welcome of sorts, but it was missing a feminine touch; a tad odd, considering the two women who were apparently running the place. 

Charlie sighed, sitting on a crate that looked like it belonged out the back. She looked downward, absolutely crestfallen, and Carla was amazed that neither of her ‘friends’ seemed to be particularly bothered at how upset she was. 

“Sweetheart, this is hardly the end of the world. So it needs a mother’s touch, a bit of affection; don’t we all?” 

Charlie looked around as Angel sat on a chair, sucking on a popsicle and Vaggie had her face buried in a pillow. 

“Can I tell you a secret?” Charlie whispered. 

Carla, much to her dismay, climbed onto the crate so Charlie could lean on her shoulder. 

“Of course, I’ll always be here to listen to you,” Carla said with a smile. 

You’re my daughter now. I’m not going anywhere. 

“I don’t know what I’m doing. My mum doesn’t answer my calls, and my dad doesn’t believe in me. I really want to help, but I think I’m going to let everyone down, and I don’t know why I’m telling you any of this,” Charlie whispered. 

Carla wrapped an arm around her middle, pulling her close to her. 

“Well, I think you’re an extraordinary young lady, who despite your parents' failings, has turned out to be quite the good egg. A rough start is not a failure, it’s simply that, a start. Besides, you got one new resident today, didn’t you?” 

“You’re going to stay?” Charlie asked, looking up with big expressive eyes. 

“Well, I’m not going to be very good at listening to you if I’m not here, am I?” Carla winked, and Charlie let out a deep breath, sitting up straight. 

“You’re right! This is just a rough start; I’ll get back right on the horse!” 

Carla nodded her head. So much like Poppy, it hurts. 

As if on cue, there was a loud thudding knock on the door. 

Carla looked towards the door, and then down at Charlie. 

“I do believe that’s your next new resident,” Carla smiled broadly at her. 

Charlie slowly approached the door, and Carla noticed just how big that silhouette became the closer it got.

Whoever it was, they were tall. 

As Charlie opened the door, the scratching sound of radio static hit the air and it rather reminded Carla of the old broken radio her father refused to give up on, that he kept in the basement. 

As soon as she opened it, seeing the man that stood behind it, Charlie slammed the door again, barely giving him a chance to say a word. Carla chuckled, jumping off the crate and slowly walking towards her.

“Darling, you’re not going to get any new residents, if you don’t open the door!” 

“It’s the Radio Demon!” Charlie hissed. 

“Well, if you don’t like what he has to say, just ask him to leave,” Carla suggested. 

“Do not let him in! He’s an overlord, you really think he’s just going to leave because you ask him to?” Vaggie hissed, standing up and rushing over. 

“Perhaps your issue is not asking nice enough,” Carla suggested, a bright smile never leaving her face. 

Charlie opened the door, and as soon as she did a long arm was thrust forward. 

“Alastor, a pleasure to be meeting you, sweetheart, quite a pleasure!” 

Carla looked up at him from behind Charlie, smiling up at this enigmatic man. How refreshing in Hell to see a man who actually knew how to talk to those of fairer means. As he introduced himself, he barely got over the threshold before Vaggie shoved a spear in his face, swearing in Spanish. 

Carla didn't even try to hold back her exasperated sigh. 

“If I have to host etiquette classes, then I will! You cannot simply shove a weapon in someone’s face because you do not like the look of them. It is rude!” She snapped, grabbing the base of the spear and pushing it down. 

Alastor turned his head, tilting it to look down at Carla. The dials in his eyes spun wildly as he grinned down at her. She felt a blush spread across her face, but she ensured to smile up at him. 

“And who might you be, lovely doe?” He asked. 

“Carla Gill, a pleasure Mr. Radio Demon,” She curtseyed, old habits dying hard, “and what can we do for you?” 

She saw Vaggie glaring at her and she rolled her eyes. 

“Why, I saw Ms. Charlotte’s performance on the picture show and I just had to come along and offer my help!” He announced. 

Carla beamed at Charlie.

“I told you that interview wasn’t as bad as you thought, dear! You’ve already got an investor,” 

As she looked back at Alastor, she saw he was staring at her neck and found herself getting anxious. It was almost as if he could see it, a golden chain fastened around her neck that showed that her soul was claimed. He was staring right where the golden collar would be if Lucifer had ever bothered to show. 

He turned back to Charlie but she felt her neck hairs stand on edge, a cold breeze suddenly coming over her. 

“Fascinating.” She heard the Radio Demon’s voice in her ear, almost at a growl but he was quite clearly talking to Charlie about how he intended to help Charlie with the hotel. She turned around in the direction of the voice, but nothing seemed a miss. She probably just imagined it, this was Hell after all. 

“...This ridiculous thing you’re trying to do!” She heard his voice say in a joyous tone. 

“Now, just you hold on one moment, Mr. Radio Demon,” Carla snapped. 

Men. Always feeling like their opinion mattered most; like their voice was the most important in the room. 

He turned to face her as she marched over, raising an eyebrow, but it felt like he wasn’t looking at her but behind her. 

“Why, I’m only offering my services, my dear,”

“I’m sure Charlie here would love to accept your help, but you are going to need to remember how to talk to us fairer folk if you actually want to help,” 

He loomed over her, showing just how much taller he was than her, but she’d faced much scarier men in much scarier situations on Earth. 

“Are you aware you’re in Hell?” He asked her, the dials in his eyes spun wildly as static erupted from his very being, a darkness seemed to envelop them, surround them, as he spoke. 

Her heart began to beat erratically, her doe ears pressed against her head in fear, but she held her ground. She would not be bullied by the first man she allowed in her vicinity. She would not allow a man to bully the closest thing she had to a daughter in years. 

“Quite, just because we’re in Hell doesn’t mean we lose all sense of decorum, now does it?” She managed to force out, but her voice was breathy, almost a whisper. 

He tilted his head, that grin growing ever wide, but he seemed content with her response as he stood back to his full height, the static dissipating as if it had never been there in the first place. 

“You always this uppity, toots?” Angel called from where he was lounging on a love seat, long limbs sprawled as he sucked on his popsicle. 

“I am not uppity; I am the product of gentility and good-breeding,” Carla responded with a finality to her tone. 

“Good breeding indeed.” She heard that voice in her ear, but as she turned her head, it was gone. 

Perhaps she was finally going insane. 

“Why do you want to help us?” Charlie asked, a timid tone to her voice that Carla didn’t like. 

She’d soon teach her to hold her ground, to hold her head high; it was unbefitting for a lady to constantly be looking at her shoes. 

“Why does anyone do anything? Sheer, absolute boredom!” He exclaimed, and Carla placed her hands on her hips, shooting him a disapproving look. 

The conversation was moving swiftly; he spoke fast and with a charisma to remind her of her husband. The way he’d move you so quickly from one point to another, distracting you from what had been the matter at hand. 

Maybe if she’d paid more attention to him, maybe if she’d noticed him pulling away, maybe if she had been a good wife…

“Of course not, that’s whacky nonsense! Redemption! Oh, the non-existent humanity! No, no, no; I don’t think there’s anything left that could save such loathsome sinners,” He said, shooting a look back at Vaggie and Angel who now both sat on the loveseat. 

Angel held his arms up in a shrug while Vaggie had her arms crossed, looking at him with a scathesome glare. 

“The chance given was the life they were given before, the punishment is this!” He spun around, arms extended. 

He was a performer. 

She watched as he spun Charlie around, weaved his web, played his game. 

Men; they were all the same. 

She took a step back as she heard Vaggie tell the story of this overlord, one Carla had heard before but was now seeing in a different light. 

He manifested overnight, showing such raw power that led to him toppling overlords who had been dominant for centuries. He’d broadcast his carnage for all to hear, broadcast the screams of those who dared to oppose him. It was how he got his name after all: The Radio Demon. 

He was a creature of malevolence, of evil but now that Carla saw him, dressed up in his suit with his bow tie and his monocle; he was a man. He was only a man. 

He reminded her of her own father. The way he spoke to the way he held himself, her father had always had a smile on his face, had always told her to never let them see her cry. 

As Vaggie stood up, grabbing Charlie to pull her down for a private conversation, Carla slowly approached him. He grinned down at her, always looking down at her, and tilted his head at an unnatural angle. 

“You could protect her. You could protect this hotel.” Carla told him, she wasn’t asking him; she was stating facts. 

“I could,” He agreed easily, leaning on a box covered in dust. 

“What do you really want?” She said quietly, and he leaned over her again. 

“Ë̵͍́̑ṅ̶̮̺̻̲̭͆ẗ̷͍̗̳́́͊̀e̷̤̬̻͙̦͋̆r̷̯̽̉̎̽̌t̴̨͕̭̺́̀̌͑͠ą̴̔i̴͙̩̍̈͐̈͌ͅn̸̩̑̄͘m̷̺̀͐ě̸͕͉̳̝̙͂́n̸̻̱͙̔͘͜͝ͅt̷̥̯͈̣͆̊̒,” He responded quickly, but his voice was warped, heavily filtered with the same crackling noise her father’s broken radio used to make, “and so far, you have been quite entertaining,”

He chuckled at her, laughed at her and she should’ve told him off but she didn’t. 

Entertainment. 

Entertainment wasn’t hard to arrange, and Charlie would be safe. 

Charlie would be safe and Carla would never need to be scared of something coming, of someone taking her away, taking away the one ounce of happiness Carla had had in years. 

“Charlie, you can’t trust him. He’s a deal maker, pure evil!” Vaggie hissed. 

He looked down at Carla, smiling broadly at her, and she smiled gently back. 

Maybe it was because he reminded her of her father, broad smile and pressed suit; maybe it was because he smelled like her father: ground coffee granules, the woods after fresh rainfall, and the slight scent of decay that had stained him in the very end. 

It was probably because she was small, and she was weak, and she had never been able to protect her family in life, but maybe this man could protect this new family she was desperate to build. 

“A deal then? I will provide ongoing entertainment, and you will protect Charlie, protect this hotel.” She suggested, extending out her arm. 

He looked at her up and down, like he was squaring her up, and then looked over at Charlie. It was clear what he came for, but she felt that brush of cold air wash over her again, a shiver down her spine, and then he took her hand in his. 

“Consider it done, my dear,” He purred, lowering down to press a gentle kiss to her knuckles and she couldn’t help the blush that spread across her cheeks. 

The moment his lips brushed her skin, they were surrounded by a dome of green crackling light. 

“Carla!” She heard Vaggie shout, but her eyes were glued to his and his wide manic grin. 

They had no idea how much better this deal was than the one she’d had to make to save Poppy. 

Vaggie stomped over to her and Carla bit back a comment that it wasn’t exactly very ladylike to stomp around but held her tongue. She had a feeling this woman was going to become her magnum opus in etiquette, but it would be a long journey.

Charlie followed close behind her, moving with a grace Vaggie clearly did not possess. 

“Carla, you really shouldn’t just make deals with overlords, I’m sure…”

“Ladies, it's rather impolite to poke one’s nose in another’s business. I’m quite content with the deal me and this gentleman have agreed upon, and you will kindly not ask me about it again.” Carla turned around to inform them, hands on her hips with a raised eye. 

Etiquette classes were going to be one of the first things added to the agenda. 

They both froze in their march, giving each other a concerned look, before shrugging. 

“So, where is the rest of your hotel staff?” He enquired, looking between the three women.

Charlie blushed, looking at Vaggie’s scowling face. 

Alastor clapped his hands together, before walking towards the fireplace. 

“Well, that just won’t do! I suppose I can cash in a few favours to liven things up!” He said, twirling his hand. 

They all followed him as he turned towards the fireplace. A vortex of flames erupted from the dark, dank fireplace before there was a thud, as a black silhouette landed in the fireplace. It slowly began to crawl out, and while Alastor slowly began to approach, Carla ran. 

She let out a squeal, lifting the small creature in the air, and holding it with both her hands under its arms. 

“Well hello, my little darling!” She said, as the soot fell off the form of the tiny young woman, blinking her large eye at Carla, “Aren’t you just the most wonderful thing in all of Hell? What might your name be?” 

Carla couldn’t wipe the grin off her face, just look at her! 

The woman blinked at her, before turning her face to blink at Alastor, who through his grin looked a bit confused, but Carla didn’t care. 

“I’m Niffty! I clean!” She said, a bright smile on her face, “Ooh man! You clearly haven’t gotten started on this place! This place is filthy! It really needs a lady's touch!” 

She started to kick her little legs trying to get down, and Carla couldn’t help the giggle that escaped her. She put her down, taking her hand, as Niffty dragged her towards the piles of cobwebs. Niffty passed her a duster, and she pulled out a needle to chase down some bugs, giggling maniacly as she ran. What an adorable little girl. 

Carla’s cleaning was interrupted by the sound of a deep gruff voice. 

“Read ‘em and weep boys!” the voice laughed, and Carla looked up to see a cat demon with large red wings. 

Carla rolled her eyes as she saw him leaning on a gambling table, Alastor seducing him into staying with the allure of cheap alcohol. 

What a terrific example for these wayward young ladies, she’d have to make sure he stayed as far away from Niffty as possible. 

Carla reached up on her tiptoes to reach a particularly high cobweb before landing back on the flats of her shoes, placing a hand on her hip as she scowled at the bar. 

“I hardly think it’s appropriate to have a bar in the lounge of all places,” she said. 

He waltzed towards her, quickly snatching the duster out of her hand before trailing his hand down her back. She felt him pull her close before she was being dipped, his face so close to hers, and it felt oddly like a dance she might’ve been taken part in when she was young. 

“Come now Darling, where’s your smile? You know you’re never fully dressed without one,” He said with a sinister grin, but she couldn’t help the gentle smile that spread across her face, the fly caught in his web. 

In one swift movement, she was on her feet. He spun her around, so quickly that she barely caught the movement of his arm dropping down in front of her before it rose again and was back by his side. She looked down to see her once beautiful white dress had now been stained red, almost as if to match his red-striped suit. 

She heard the music pick up seemingly from nowhere as Alastor danced away, the almighty performer, she felt another hand take hers and she was pulled into the centre of the room. 

“My treat,” Alastor’s voice left the mouth of his shadow, somehow separate from himself, but his eternal grin remained. 

She looked over to where Alastor moved with fluidity, the way he dressed the others to match his formal attire, but they kept their identity, their style. They were not made to conform the way she was, a perfect match dictated by him alone. He danced around them, pulling Charlie as he did so, and she couldn’t help the way it made her smile. 

He danced with Charlie in a way that Carla had done a thousand times with her own father, in a way Poppy never got to, not even once. 

It was a moment of serenity, of peace, despite the upbeat nature of the instruments that 

surrounded them. His shadow danced with her with an odd talent you wouldn’t expect a shadow to possess, it was fast and confident, and she couldn’t help the way it made her laugh. 

With an inhumane speed, she felt herself being pushed back and watched as the shadow lunged forward over her, releasing a loud, menacing snarl into the air. This was the huntsman after the showman; this was who he was. 

Carla watched with horror as the door of the hotel was blasted off its hinges, little Niffty jumping up and down excitedly, too naive to realise the danger she was in. 

“Niffty!” Carla screamed, jumping to her feet and pouncing after Niffty, pulling the small thing into her arms as the door knocked them both into the wall. 

Carla slid down the wall with a groan, pushing the door off with one arm before brushing Niffty’s hair out of her face. 

“Are you okay, sweetheart?” Carla asked, still smiling, not willing to let Niffty know she was injured. 

“That was fun! I love pain!” Niffty cackled, and Carla sighed with relief. 

It was a concerning response, but at least she was okay, at least she was safe. 

Carla stood up, holding Niffty to her hip, walking towards where the others had gathered at this new hole in the wall. None seemed to see this attack for what it was: an insult to the home she was building. 

She looked up to see a snake demon, far too many eyes looking down at her newfound family for her liking, hiding away in a ship covered in scratches and plasters. She couldn’t help the way her smile fell, an angered frown taking its place as the creature spoke at them. 

It spoke of power, of titles; it spoke of things it deemed itself worthy of as if it was worthy of anything after attacking her home. 

“No need to frown, darling; this won’t take long.” He said, excitement in his voice as he jumped out of the hole in the wall and a spring in his step as he marched towards the large ship. 

He was right; it didn’t take him long at all; with a click of his fingers, it was over in a flash. 

A massive portal opened beneath the ship, and thick fat tentacles began to loom and rise above it, breaking through glass with a shattering force. The creature’s screams filled the air, cries for help that would never come and as soon as it had begun, it was over; the ship and the creature within were dragged into the bottomless depths below. 

Once upon a time, Carla might’ve felt appalled by such behaviour, disgusted even, but not anymore. This time Carla was assured of the decision she had made. 

Alastor was exactly the kind of man her father would’ve expected her to find; the kind of man Clarence was incapable of being.

𝒫𝓇𝑒𝓋𝑜𝒾𝓊𝓈 𓆩♡𓆪

𝒩𝑒𝓍𝓉 𓆩♡𓆪

[browneyess]

The Mandalorian Season 3 Episode 2 Review

Before we get started, please remember this is my personal opinion and I mean no disrespect to those reading or those who worked on the show (unless I say so) (joke) (not really) (mostly). These reviews were made and written for my own enjoyment and I highly suggest you keep any opposing comments to yourself. Again, these are my opinions and interpretations, and I don’t want to start anything. 

SPOILERS AHEAD!

S3E2, Ch. 18, “The Mines of Mandalore.”

“The Mandalorian and Grogu explore the ruins of a destroyed planet,” – Disney+. 

Overall Rating: 8/10. 

Plot: 9.5/10. 

MANDALORE!!! I jump up and down w IMMENSE glee… I love love Mandalore, it’s so cool… 

Why’s Din so pathetic in this episode… He got ROTISSERIED BY A BIG ASS SPIDER MECH WHILE GETTING A FREE BLOOD DRAW. In TBOBF he’s so badass but in this season he just sucks in some parts 😭🙏…

Bo-Katan, what do you do all day? 

Intro/Hooker: 10/10.

PELI FOR THE WIN❣️

I love dad Din so much you don’t understand… Him teaching Grogu about Mandalore is mad cute… 

Outro/Cliffhanger: 8.5/10.

Heyy king… How’s it going Mr. Mythosaur… When are you gonna come back, huh….

Script & Acting: 8/10. 

“And you know what? I’ve never been there either. I grew up there, on that moon. Concordia.” Flashback scenes or it didn’t happen… (Please I’m begging WE NEED MORE). 

Determined Grogu is mad cute. He’s the real hero of this episode!

“Let’s get rid of him ONCE AND FOR ALL 😡” …literally seconds later… “What happened to him? 😟” Bo-Katan do you hate him or not. CHOOSE ONE… 

“Din, are you okay?” Din, not ok: 

“You’ve never eaten pog soup?” “...No? 😟” 

“Here we are; the Living Waters 🙄” She said it was so much distaste like girl… 

Points off for Bo-Katan being a smidgen annoying… Don’t give the man a “full tour,” LET HIM STRIP! (joke, we don’t condone sexualization here)

Pedro STOP eating in every scene it’s not okay…

Characters/Creatures: 9/10. 

I LOVE PELI… She needs her own show, man (more on that in a future post…).

Droids with personality are my Roman Empire… shoutout to R5. 

The scavenger droid’s design was MAD cool. It doesn’t get enough recognition. 

Honorable winged gator mention. 

VFX/SFX: 9.5/10. 

Idek why this is a section they never go wrong with these…

The theme that plays when they break Mandalore’s atmosphere goes SO HARD.

.5 points off for Din groaning… king… take it down a notch… (I find it funny ngl)

Mandalore 🤤 

Additional Notes:

Honorable podracing mention!!

Peli humor 1000/10. She called Din “grandpa.”

Fun fact: R5-D4 is the same droid the Jawas tried to sell to the Skywalkers in the original sequels. :3 

What Could Be Better:  

Din needs to start being main character material… Brotha has not been one in his own show lately! That’s a major flaw in s3. 

Bo-Katan stop being important to the plot 😭. 

[triviareads]

This month was all about contemporary romances for me. I got some excellent ARCs like Tastes Like Shakkar by Nisha Sharma (which pleasantly surprised me; review forthcoming) and Tessa Bailey's Unfortunately Yours (here's my review). I read a rather entertaining novella called Hard Wood that put me in my lumberjack era for a hot second. There was another book that tried to sell me on a hero named "Martin" (tbh his cardinal sin was eating mangos off her vaj, which is only topped off in terribleness by eating tiramisu off someone's vagina— Enzo you monster, cages are not where I draw the line, but the tiramisu is). Also read Dana Islay's Rules We Break which had me pondering why it's so hard to find dommes in romance novels (and rarer still to find well-written ones). All in all, a good month, and here are my favorites:

Looking by Katrina Jackson

This was recommended to me by @monarchies-history after I was asked for a list of diverse contemporary romance recs. Darren and Nadia are a married couple with twins. They want to open their marriage and arrange to meet with Jourdan (sidenote: all the mcs are Black; Katrina really does the most for diverse romances), who is very into both of them right off the bat, and the feeling is mutual (there is a park trail sex scene lolol). What I loved most about Looking is that it's such a joyful book. The dialogue is funny and clever, the sex is very hot in all its configurations (Darren and Nadia get to know Jourdan separately before they all get together— it's actually kinda "slowburn" in that sense; each of them gets their own POV section), and the three of them are just so happy to be together, you can't help but smile.

Serving Pleasure by Alisha Rai

@jeanvanjer was trying to get me to read Glutton for Pleasure for the longest time (which I did, and it was good; another throuple book), but I latched onto Serving Pleasure more, not only because I enjoyed the way the sex was written more, but also because the emotions REALLY got to me. It's also a pretty unhinged premise: The hero Micah is a recluse and an artist, and Rana lives across the street from him and like... constantly watches him, and even follows (stalks?) him at some point. Lucky for her he's very into it, even jerking off purposely at his window (out of spite, but then he stops midway out of guilt lolol). He asks her to pose for him and they began a no strings-attached fling.

Also, I really liked Rana's characterization: she's perceived as a "party girl" with no serious ambition compared to her sisters so she has to grapple with her self-perception vs. what outsides see, which was really quite novel for me to read in a South Asian heroine.

Compromised in Paradise by Samanthe Beck

This book is fun, light, and quite literally a beach read since it's set in a resort in Hawaii. Arden is a stressed-out heiress looking for a fling, but when the hero Nick catches her faking her orgasm, he decides to give her orgasm lessons. Like, what a saint amirite? With a premise like this, it can go a lot of ways but I appreciate Nick's dedication to centering their sex lessons around her and her orgasm, and then it took an unexpected but welcomed turn towards the end with the rare contemporary romance anal sex.

This book also made me read like three of Samanthe's other books on one shot, and they're all full of great banter and solid dirty talk. Would absolutely recommend this book, this series (called "Compromise Me" which should totally be the name of an HR series), and this author overall.

Salt in the Wound by Sierra Simone

Sierra Simone is back at it, y'all. Salt in the Wound is the (free!) prequel to Salt Kiss, which is coming out this fall. It's set in the same universe as the New Camelot series and Sierra's criminally underrated Sherwood (ft. female!Robin Hood/Maid Marian/Sheriff of Nottingham with a side of a hushed mention of bogeyman Mark Trevena). It centers around how Isolde gets engaged to Mark Trevena, former assassin, current BDSM club owner, and Man Who Never Stops Telling You He's A Bad Bad Man. Isolde wants to be a nun (she also learns martial arts at a nun dojo), but is put in a position where she needs to learn how to fake being Mark's sub in public. Cue kink lessons, and as it turns out she's very into it, and Mark is SHOOK (the way he flees at the end because he can't handle Feelings and masks it with a show of "I'm sooooo Bad you should have expected me to be a bitch about this"..... bravo. Couldn't have set up Salt Kiss better).

My favorite thing about Sierra's characters is just the level of zeal they have... for religion, for sex, for power, and this short story is no different. I am eagerly awaiting the Lyonesse Trilogy.

You Can Follow Me by Jo Brenner

This book was shilled in both Sierra Simone and Mila Finelli's newsletters in a span of a week so I knew I had to give it a shot. Another wild premise: Kara hooked up separately with three SEALs who were actually lovers (two of the three did *not* happen upon her by accident...) and now Circumstances lead to them kidnapping her and holding her captive. Listen, I fully admit I came here for the sex (fun sex, angry sex, manipulative sex, spite-because-she-won't-sleep-with-you-so-you-fuck-your-bros-in-front-of-her sex... you get the picture) but I stayed for the *journey* ok. Specifically how Kara deals with this insane loss of freedom even as she wants to jump all of their bones, and starts to catch Feelings.

Scorching to the Touch by Ofelia Martinez

Another excellent recommendation by Sierra Simone, this one is a somewhat toxic (until it isn't!) romance between a telenovela star (and she's plus sized) and a rockstar. Listen, sometimes all you want to do is read a romance with two hot people who know they're hot shit and also deeply messy individuals. Revenge oral 4% of the way into the book? Check. Stalking Tracking each other long after they've broken up? Check. Breaking up each other's engagements? Check. Him crying on his knees because he bruised her during sex even if it's probably him overreacting? Check. Obsession-induced erectile dysfunction? Check. It's fabulous. Would recommend.

Forbidden Harmony by Elizabeth Kelly

I feel like this post sums up the plot of this one excellently; In addition, I know Elizabeth is writing a series with exclusively older couples which I might try soon.

[theblogtini]

I'm deeply fascinated by Meghan's fascination of Kate. We'll never truly know what's behind it, but it's so interesting to me that Meghan is very focused on Kate. Part of me thinks it's because Kate got everything Meghan wanted - especially her close knit bio family. I'm from a "broken home" and sometimes I do feel jealous of people with two parents happily married - no drama, just family. And I wonder if that's part of it for Meghan.

I think for Meghan she was trying to model herself after Catherine in the whole "normal girl from no where becomes royal" aspect. She looked at Catherine and said "Oh look, a normal girl that everyone around the world loves. She sells out clothes in a second. She gets tons of great press. People love her. They love her kids. And she's going to be Queen." But what she failed to realize is that Catherine didn't just pop onto the scene and become instantly adored.

She has spent 2 decades being harassed and hounded by the press - and 8 of those years were without any formal security. She took so much shit during their dating years - had a brief respite during the lead up to the wedding, but then was back to being shit on for not working enough, not producing an heir fast enough, etc.

It's only been very, very recently that Catherine has been receiving fairly universal praise.

And during that time, Catherine never put a foot wrong. And honestly - do you know how much work it has to be to NEVER mess up, EVER, for TWENTY YEARS when the entire world's press is watching you? When a publication would pay thousands of dollars for a photo of you doing something wrong, or a story about you being a bitch? Just the idea of being perfect *all of the fucking time* is literally exhausting to me... and Catherine has been doing that FOR TWENTY YEARS. Since she was in University, FFS.

TWENTY YEARS she has just kept her head down and her mouth shut and just got on with it. She never demanded anything from anyone. She never did anything that could be viewed unfavorably. Even when she was getting shit on by the press for not working enough, when SHE knew that she was launching foundations and doing a ton of behind the scenes work, she never defended herself - or sent her friends to defend her. She just took it all.

There are videos of her and Pippa out at night, walking home from somewhere, and they are literally cornered by a pack of photographers. Pippa is BEGGING them to leave them alone so they can just go home, and Catherine is standing there with her back to them, not reacting at all. Because she couldn't.

She couldn't even ask a photographer to leave her alone in a situation that - truthfully - was probably a little scary. She had to just stand there and take it. It's infuriating to watch.

And this was BEFORE she was engaged. Before she was part of the family. She was just

Because Catherine understood that SHE is not the draw. SHE is not the job.

The draw is the monarchy. The job is supporting and uplifting and shining a light on the monarchy. Not herself.

And through that tireless, thankless dedication to THE JOB (ie: the monarchy) Catherine was able to EVENTUALLY overcome all of the critics and naysayers and prove that she was - in fact - the absolute right woman for the job. And she was able to EARN that nearly universal adoration.

And Meghan has never - and will never - be able to grasp that. Because for Meghan, SHE is the job. SHE is the main draw. SHE is the one that should be uplifted and promoted.

She wants to be universally loved, but isn't willing to put in the world to do what it takes to be universally loved.

[yslkook]

BORDERSZ (4)

mind of mine masterlist

summary: jungkook accompanies you on your journey to purchase a brand new car. jimin charms your pants off (or attempts to) and sora has a proposal for you that you don't quite say no to. pairing: “badboy” jk x “shy/reserved” oc warnings: cursing, alc, excessive use of pet names, kinda toxic friendship

It takes about two weeks for Jungkook to understand exactly what kind of car you were looking for- essentially a sturdy vehicle that would get you from point A to point B without fail. Something reliable, would last for years and years, something efficient. Not necessarily anything fancy or luxurious.

But Jungkook had finally got you to shyly confess that you wouldn’t mind having heated seats in your car. After all, it had been something you’d dreamed of ever since you had received your driver’s license-

“Nothing else? Just heated seats?” Jungkook implores curiously as he pours over your meticulous binder for the fifth time. Honestly, you didn’t really need his help. You already knew what you were doing. His presence at the dealership will probably ensure that you’re not getting scammed, if anything. He loves his friends (two of them being his roommates), but he knows the truth about how they make their sales.

Mei and Mina call them sleazy car salesmen for a reason after all.

“It’s not ‘just’ heated seats!” You protest, “We never had the money for cars with heated seats when I was growing up. So that’s what I want.”

“How about leather heated seats?” Jungkook suggests, “Leather seats have better ventilation-”

“Oh, I know,” You say matter-of-factly.

“Of course you do. Smart ass.”

It feels incredibly domestic, walking into Namjoon’s car dealership together with Jungkook. Shoulder to shoulder, hopping off of his motorcycle together. He had taken it upon himself to purchase a second helmet, despite your insistence that you would pay for one.

But he had told you not to get a big head, that the helmet wasn’t for you specifically. That he needed a second helmet anyway, and you joining him on the motorcycle more and more as of recently was just the impetus for him to purchase one.

So you say nothing when it’s clear that he had bought the helmet with you in mind- it’s a sleek, glossy lilac color. A similar shade of lilac as your phone case, your favorite small backpack, and your work notebook.

You say nothing about it, only keeping your small smile to yourself.

Of course it’s Jimin who immediately jumps up to offer you assistance today. He gives Jungkook a Cheshire grin, mischief dancing in his eyes. Not that you would know otherwise.

He knows Jimin won’t let him live this down. At least Taehyung might have a little more tact than Jimin.

“So are you both looking for a vehicle together?” Jimin asks once you’re both seated in the comfortable leather seats in front of his desk, when in fact he knows damn well that you’re not.

“Huh? N-no, I’m looking for a car. Jungkook is helping me out,” You say, your face heating up at the implication. Isn’t Jimin one of his roommates?

Jungkook’s tongue pokes his cheek. You notice.

“I’m here to make sure that you or Taehyung don’t scam her,” Jungkook says, “Where’s Joon? He’s less...annoying than you.”

“Joon can’t even drive a fucking car. He has no business trying to sell them,” Jimin says swiftly.

“Er,” You interrupt softly, “Isn’t he your boss? He owns the entire dealership, doesn’t he?”

Jungkook stifles a laugh at your presumed innocence. You offer a slick smile to Jimin when he scoffs in amusement.

“Yes,” Jimin says, “So tell me. How can I make your dreams come true?”

If Jungkook wasn’t with you, you think you would’ve fallen victim to Jimin’s charms long ago. He’s nice, a little flirty and funny. But helpful. You can see how someone might end up paying more than they’d need to with Jimin being their car salesman.

You listen to every word Jimin says, taking notes in a specific section of your binder with your favorite black ballpoint pen. You need to have all the information at your fingertips before making a big decision, no matter what it is. Jungkook had teased you for it at first, but he’s become accustomed to your thought process.

Jimin has shown you at least five different types of models of cars ranging from sedans to SUVs. In theory, they all fit the bill. But you haven’t really felt the connection with any of them.

Jimin is nothing if not patient, though.

“I’m sorry,” You say, “I know I’m being meticulous. You must be annoyed.”

“It’s my job, sweetheart,” Jimin shrugs, “Besides, you can repay me with your phone number maybe, huh?”

“That doesn’t sound like an ethical business practice,” You say flatly while Jungkook glares at Jimin (who only smirks at him in return), “You already have it. From when I made the appointment.”

“Is that an invitation?”

“You wish,” You roll your eyes, “Does every one of your clients get this treatment or is it just me?”

“Nah, it’s just anyone who catches Jungkookie’s eye,” Jimin winks at you and Jungkook is about to strangle his roommate. Perhaps he should put an ad out for a new roommate, considering he might kill his current one in the next five minutes.

“O-oh,” You falter, cheeks blazing at this point, “Can we look at a few more? I’m gonna use the restroom really quickly. Maybe even grab a coffee.”

“Sure, sweetheart. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Will you fuckin’ stop it? I can’t believe you,” Jungkook hisses, “We’re literally at your workplace and you’re putting the moves on her-”

“Oh, will you relax,” Jimin says breezily, “I’m just seeing if she’ll take the bait.”

“There’s no reason for that shit,” Jungkook says, glaring at his friend, “Cut it out.”

“I like her,” Jimin says, as if he hadn’t spoken, “She’s cute.”

“Back off,” Jungkook says, “And while we’re at it, just for you being an ass. You’re gonna give her heated seats for free.”

Jungkook watches your eyes light up at the car that Jimin is currently telling you about. He can already tell from your wide eyes and soft, excited smile that this is the one. You’re already running the checklist through your head, physically looking at your notes as Jimin easily answers your questions.

“Can I take her for a test drive?” You ask Jimin and he somehow produces a set of keys for the exact model from his pocket.

“I knew this would be the one…” Jimin says as he takes you to the parking lot to grab the test car. Jungkook rolls his eyes in fondness and heads off to find his other roommate, Taehyung. And to say hello to his friend, Namjoon.

“It suits you,” Jimin says once you’d taken the car out for a drive and brought it back safely.

“You think so?” You ask, giving the keys back to him, “I bet you say that to everyone.”

“Only when I mean it, sweetheart,” Jimin winks at you.

“How lucky for me,” You mutter under your breath, “So...what are the next steps?”

“I bring out the contract, you sign it, and you take your new car home,” Jimin says confidently.

“Yeah,” You say dreamily and look outside to the car in longing. You’ve done the homework, done the research. Went through this logically and meticulously. Even if the car does start depreciating the minute you step out of the dealership… You want it. It checks all of the boxes, you know you’ll get your money’s worth from it.

But before you give Jimin the okay to draw up the contracts, you want to tell Jungkook. You spot him talking to Taehyung, his bunny smile on display (which makes you smile in turn) and excuse yourself from Jimin for a minute to go after Jungkook.

“Hi,” You say and introduce yourself to Taehyung, who offers you a wide, boxy smile, “I’m gonna get it. The car, I mean. I love her.”

“She passed the vibe check?” Jungkook asks.

“Yeah. She passed the vibe check.”

When you comb through the hefty contract with sharp eyes, Jungkook is somewhat amused to see the free of charge cost for the heated seats. Jimin only winks at him in response.

You can’t seem to find anywhere else where Jimin may be overcharging you, so you ask Jungkook to review it, too. And surprisingly, Jungkook finds nothing out of the ordinary. He knows how Jimin operates here, trying to gain any extra cent of commission that he can. Not that that’s a terrible thing.

“It’s yours, sweetheart,” Jimin says fifteen minutes later, once you sign your name on the dotted line.

“Really?” You let out an exhilarated laugh, adrenaline suddenly coursing through your veins, “Really, really?”

“Keys are yours, and someone will bring the car out front for you,” Jimin smiles, “Congratulations on your first car. I’m honored that you chose me to help you make this purchase.”

“Wouldn’t have had it any other way, Jimin,” You beam. After a moment of deliberation, “Oh, by the way- have fun on your date with Mina tonight. I heard all about it.”

Mischief dances in your eyes and Jimin’s eyebrows shoot up to his hairline as he lets out a surprised laugh. Jungkook looks at you proudly- that’s what Jimin gets for being a menace.

Jungkook wraps an arm around your shoulders and walks you out of the dealership and you slowly wrap a tentative, shy arm around his waist. You both wait shoulder to shoulder for one of the dealership boys to bring your brand new car out front.

In the meantime, you try to pluck up the courage to ask Jungkook to have a drink with you after. To celebrate and to treat your friend for helping you out for the last few weeks. You bite your bottom lip in nervousness and Jungkook notices. He wants nothing more than to gently pull your bottom lip out of your own grip, but refrains from doing so.

But you realize, it’s Jungkook, this is your friend and the comforting, warm scent of laundry that envelopes you gives you a little courage.

“Do you want to grab a drink or something after this?” You ask softly, “I… wanted to treat you. For helping me the last few weeks with the car stuff.”

“C’mon, baby. You know I’ll never say no to a pretty girl buying me a drink,” Jungkook says, lips pulled apart into a sly smirk.

“Oh, that’s all I am to you? A pretty girl?” You roll your eyes and shove his shoulder playfully, despite the heat in your cheeks.

“Not at all,” Jungkook murmurs, tightening his hold around your shoulders and looking at you with sincerity dripping from his big, brown eyes, “You’re my pretty girl.”

If he didn’t have a strong arm around your shoulders, you’re certain you would’ve evaporated into the floor at his words.

The image of Jungkook smoking outside of the bar right under the glowing, purple neon lights is an image you haven’t seen very often. A strand of dark hair falls in front of his face as he lights his cigarette, his eyebrows knitted together in concentration.

Even from this distance, you can see the purse of his lips and the silver glint of rings on his fingers. It shouldn’t send a rush down your spine the way it does, but you won’t deny it. When it comes to Jungkook, you won’t deny your feelings. Or your attraction.

For some reason, a thought crosses your mind- you hadn’t told Sora that you had purchased a new car. Much less that Jungkook had helped you pick one out. But you push her from your mind easily, as if you’ve been doing the last few weeks. It’s been difficult for you to keep Jungkook out of your conversations with Sora- she always has a way of bringing him up more than not.

But it’s not just Jungkook she has a strong, stubborn opinion on. It’s everything these days- you had showed her cars that you were interested in and she had shot every one of them down, she always has something to say about your passion for work (or rather she never pays enough attention about it), and she even had something negative to say when you had timidly brought up that you were maybe thinking about another ear piercing.

You’re growing tired of it. You find yourself getting nervous around her, like you’re walking on eggshells around her. Even when she just texts you, your heart speeds up in anxiety. But at the same time, there is a voice in your head telling you not to upset her.

As if that’s somehow the worst thing that could ever happen. Objectively, you know Sora. You know she’s stubborn and loud in her opinions and always has to get her way. But at the core of it all, you want to believe that she has a good heart. Because if she doesn’t have a good heart… Then what were you doing this to yourself for? What were you surrounding yourself with all of this negativity for?

You can sense Jungkook’s dislike of her, even if he doesn’t outright say it. But you’re no idiot. Mina and Mei have been honest with you on their opinions of her. So has Yoongi and Hobi.

They all think she’s dragging you down and that you’ll spiral in her negativity if you don’t open your eyes. They’ve all had a few choice words for her, but you find yourself uneasy whenever the topic of Sora comes up.

The more you hear it, the more you wonder about your supposed best friend. But you push those sour thoughts away to focus on the man in your field of vision.

Your heart hammers in your chest as you approach him on unsteady feet.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Jungkook mutters with the cigarette in between his lips when you get closer to get a good look at him.

“I’m not looking at you like anything,” You reply, eyes subconsciously wandering to the cigarette. Your nose scrunches at the smell without you even realizing it.

“You look like my mom when she first saw me smoking,” Jungkook says bluntly.

“Your mom? You really wanna compare me to your mother?” You raise an eyebrow, “Don’t know what that says about you, Jungkook.” Jungkook lets out a surprised laugh at that.

“Shut up,” Jungkook rolls his eyes and peels himself off of the brick wall before putting his cigarette out and tossing it in the ashtray next to him, “I think you owe me a drink?”

Jungkook, you decide, is dangerous and warm all at once. The starry glint of his big, doe eyes throws you off more than once, leaving you either stammering over your words or choking on your drink when you try to reply to him.

The bar is quiet and nearly empty, only the sounds of faint music playing in the background to keep you both company. You’re both facing each other at the bar, knees touching ever so slightly.

Even that simple touch makes you feel warm all over.

Jungkook slides your drink towards you, a soft ‘thank you’ pushing itself out of your lips. You suppress a shiver when his ring clad fingers brush over yours, and he notices the way you tense up a little bit with his touch.

He appreciates the way the dim lights shine on your hair and illuminate the planes of your pretty face. He thinks it’s the perfect lighting for a photo of you- the dark colored jacket and your dark wash jeans blending into the colors of the bar around you. Something at the base of your neck glints as you turn to face him.

“Cheers, to your new car,” Jungkook murmurs, tipping his glass towards yours.

“Cheers to you for helping me,” You reply with a smile, clinking your drink with his.

“Pleasure’s all mine, baby,” Jungkook says, “You deserve it.”

“Deserve a vehicle that will have hardly any value in ten to fifteen years?”

“You deserve something for yourself,” Jungkook corrects, looking into your eyes as if he can see right through you. You’d told him how you had grown up with one car amongst a family of five, and how money was tight when you were younger. You were the eldest of three, and now that everyone was older, you had slowly started dipping your toes into the concept of having things for yourself.

You whisper a soft thank you and take a sip of your drink. “My parents were so excited about the car,” You say quietly, “Told them I couldn’t have done it without you.”

“Oh? You told your parents about me?”

“Had to tell them about the man who got me heated seats for free,” You reply with a knowing grin, “You think I didn’t catch that?”

“Heated seats were the least Jimin could’ve done,” Jungkook rolls his eyes.

You wave him off, “I like him. I could see why him and Mina are good together. She told me they’ve had this weird on and off thing for, like, a year now? Like c’mon. Get it together.”

“Yeah. Don’t know why they keep denying the inevitable,” He says, voice full of something barely concealed.

“The inevitable?”

“They both have their issues but… They would make it work if they sorted themselves out,” He says softly, a tenderness to his eyes that makes your belly flip. You don’t know if he’s talking about Jimin and Mina or about… something else.

Something else being you and him.

“Maybe one of them is scared,” You whisper.

“They can work through it together,” Jungkook replies instantly. The air in between you both is charged, plush with tension and electricity. You look at him unsurely, with wide eyes, and god, if Jungkook doesn’t want to sweep you off of your feet and pull you in for a kiss.

“Jungkook, I-” You murmur, voice soft and deafening, silky like honey in his ears. The moment is right there, ripe for you, ripe for him...

And then your phone starts ringing, and Jungkook has never heard a worse sound. Your chest drops for a second when you see that it’s Sora calling you, and Jungkook has never felt as frustrated as he does right in this moment. Each significant moment of frustration over the past few months has Sora linked to it. He wonders if she has a radar for interrupting at the worst possible moments.

You give him an apologetic glance before answering the phone. She only calls if it’s important or if she needs you so you won’t risk it.

“H-hello-”

“You’ll never guess what I just did,” Comes Sora’s excited voice through the receiver. It’s too sugary, too sweet. You wince.

“What’s that?” You mumble, shoulders drooping.

“Got you a date for this Friday, you remember Yunho right?” She exclaims. If your heart wasn’t on the floor already, it certainly was by now. “He wants to take you out- he’s the lawyer, remember?”

“Y-yeah, I remember,” You say weakly, “But-”

Jungkook’s eyes flash at your suddenly dejected frown. That’s what Sora does- she takes you and she turns your happiness into something sad. It’s like she can’t stand to see you happy about something that doesn’t align with her “vision”.

“You can thank me later, babe,” Sora says cheerily. This time, you visibly cringe as you try to protest. Try to tell her that you don’t want a date with this man, that you only want a date with the man in front of you. But you can’t get the words out, she won’t listen and she hangs up on you before you can get a word in edgewise.

“Sorry about that,” You mutter.

“Why? She’s your friend. Not mine,” Jungkook says brusquely and you bristle at his bluntness.

You’re distracted for the rest of the evening, mind on another wavelength. He knows you’re upset, but he doesn’t push. He gets you to smile and laugh a few times, only for your eyes to turn sad right after.

Jungkook only wishes that you’d be able to see what was right in front of you.

TAGS: @kookdbean

MoM tags: @tiemeuptogoldenchains @boymeetsparadise @jungkooksseuphoria @kaepjjangiya @drumsofheaven @ppeachyttae @tae-bebe @yiyi4657 @mygscafe

[shining-magically]

so I’ve wondered this since the trailer came out years and years ago and Chloe defended the movie - was the red shoes teaser written by the same team that made the movie? were they forced to market it like that, was that based on an earlier draft, etc?? not sure if you know but you seem like the leading expert!

Sorry, this is gonna be an absolute novel because you know I’m an animation fan and the history and production of Red Shoes and the Seven Dwarfs is SO interesting and insane. Like, Tangled levels of insane. Thanks for calling me an expert, no one else was gonna do it so I just kind of took up the helm lol.

Here’s the low-down... The timeline of the movie’s production is an absolute mess and kind of an extremely wild ride. It was in production for ten years, went through a lot of different crew members, and went through at least two other major versions of the story before landing on the final version.

Since there’s not a ton of info on the movie’s production, a lot of this is pieced together from different interviews and context clues, and also a lot of what I’ve read and what I am quoting has been translated from Korean, sometimes pretty roughly. But yeah.

Here’s the story of why the Red Shoes and the Seven Dwarfs teasers and poster were so, so bad and fatshame-y and the actual movie was so, so good and body-positive. (With pictures and production artwork!)

(This is a beast of a post so I’m putting it under a cut.)

All right, so. After its conception originally as a short story by the South Korean studio Locus Creative in 2009-2010-ish, Red Shoes and the Seven Dwarfs was being worked on and was set to come out in Summer 2017, as evidenced by this poster at the 2015 Cannes Film Festival, featuring a different logo and very different character designs for most of the dwarfs.

In early-mid 2016, the first teaser (in which we see Snow White undress and then two dwarfs recoil in horror at her fatness when she takes her magic shoes off) was released, after the film had kind of been slowly chugging along for 6 or so years. (I am having such trouble pinpointing when the second teaser was released (in which one of the dwarfs basically attacks Snow while she is sleeping to steal her shoes), but I believe it was around the same time.) The teasers didn’t get that much traction because this was a small film from a small indie studio in South Korea.

None of the final actors had been cast yet. At this point in the production, the story was different, one of the many versions that the movie went through. As in the final movie, the dwarfs were actually cursed knights/princes and Snow White switched back and forth between two body types due to her magic shoes, but in this version, the dwarfs needed to steal the shoes from her in order to break their curse (rather than needing “a kiss from the most beautiful woman in the world” like in the final movie).

The weird thing is, I believe they had JUST changed the movie’s story when the teaser came out. I’m almost positive it was released more as a proof of concept than as an actual trailer for the movie. They had just recently combined two separate characters (seen above), a typical pretty, skinny princess character (Snow White) and a cute chubby girl character (’Bonnie’), into one single character that switches back and forth between the two appearances when she wears the magic shoes (also they had just dropped literally half of the movie taking place in the real world, with a magic mirror portal, it was a whole thing). 

They didn’t have the details of this aspect of the new story hammered out yet, and the first pass at presenting Snow’s magically changing body type, was, yeah, not good and super offensive. This was a really inexperienced indie studio making their first film on a low budget, so even the animation and voice acting wasn’t great. I think they just wanted to get SOMETHING out there because it had been 6 years and they wanted to have something to show for it.

But here’s the thing. Despite how the teasers make it seem, this was always supposed to be a movie about body positivity, letting go of appearance-based prejudices, and loving yourself and others for who you are and for who they are, which we see in the final film.

I like to think of our film as a kindhearted one. Our intentions are nice.

- Director Sung-ho Hong

It’s important to keep in mind that this movie was made in South Korea by a 99% Korean crew, and, as I understand it anyway, in Korean culture, ‘fatshaming’ is not really a thing that is seen as overtly offensive. Also, children’s media there seems to have more adult things in it than in the US, which probably accounts for the more risque parts of the teasers. That said, I really believe that at this point in the timeline, the movie was on-track to be bad (or at least not very good) when it was released, and it would have ended up bad IF a few key players hadn’t signed on (which I’ll get to in a moment).

Interestingly, the movie’s producer, Sujin Hwang, said in a 2017 interview:

“[Both teasers] were solely produced to induce curiosity. They’re completely irrelevant to the actual story.”

- Producer Sujin Hwang

I think what she was trying to convey was that neither one is a scene in the actual movie, because while the teasers didn’t reflect the revamped story as it existed in summer 2017 (the time of the interview), they DID reflect the earlier version of the story where the dwarfs wanted her shoes, which is what the story was at the time they were made.

Now that we’re in post-teaser 2016, HERE’S where things start to turn around. After the teasers were released, my guy Disney veteran and native Korean Jin Kim joined the project. He and Red Shoes director Sung-ho Hong had been buddies for about eight years and Sung-ho had been trying to get Jin to come to Seoul and work with him at Locus for a long time, and he finally succeeded.

Jin and his twenty years of Disney experience as an animator and senior designer on films like Tangled, Frozen, Big Hero 6, Zootopia, and Moana, had a HUGE HUGE HUGE influence on the movie. He redesigned almost all the characters, oversaw all the visual development from the moment he signed on, and heavily (HEAVILY) supervised the animation, literally going frame-by-frame through preliminary animations and drawing over them, teaching the inexperienced animators at Locus everything he knew. (Literally almost everyone except him either only had TV experience or had no professional experience because they just gotten out of school.)

From an outsider’s perspective, it really seems as though Jin joining the project (and his gargantuan effort) made the quality SKYROCKET. Not just in character design and animation, but also in things like effects animation, story, etc. After he joined, Locus really started pushing HARD to make a good, high-quality movie, and his influence and experience from being a prominent figure at Disney was absolutely key. The studio also began to really study Disney films and other well-made animated films from other studios to really try and pinpoint what the DNA of a good animated movie really is.

I don’t have any solid evidence, but I’m pretty sure that Tony Bancroft (an animator and the co-director of Mulan) then joined the project because he’s good friends with Jin Kim. He is only credited as the voice director (the movie was recorded in English and the characters were animated to the English dialogue), but I am SURE that he probably also had a pretty big influence on the movie, because like... How could he not? I really really think there was more to his role than his title would have you believe, even though there’s almost no info out there about it.

So now the movie goes through a gigantic metamorphosis. Character designs, visual development, and animation quality are all rapidly improving, the story is tightening, and the themes of the movie (which, again, were always the same and intended to be positive) are being presented in a more sincere way. The movie is becoming the sweet, self-love-encouraging and body-positive movie that was eventually released.

I’m putting a gif from the credits of the final movie here. As we move into 2017, when the giant eruption of backlash occurred, please keep in mind that the story was finalized at this point and that THIS was the movie people were so mad about:

Chloe Grace Moretz accepted the role of Snow White immediately after she read the script and she recorded her lines (I think) in early-ish 2017. Her co-star Sam Claflin also immediately accepted the role of the romantic interest, Merlin, after reading the script and recorded his lines in (I believe) July 2017.

In the summer of 2017, the story and script were more or less the same as in the final movie. Promotional images from that time show that most of dwarfs had been completely redesigned by this point and didn’t have their teaser designs anymore.

They also released a few screenshots that look exactly like the final film. The movie was advertised as coming out in ‘2018′ at this point. Here’s a promo image from 2017 that is MUCH more tactfully worded than the infamous Cannes poster:

So now we’re in summer 2017. The Cannes Film Festival. The movie’s script and story have been basically nailed down, animation is underway, and the Korean film company Finecut is beginning to market and sell the movie to worldwide audiences. They are planning on showing some footage to potential buyers at the festival, and they make a poster to advertise the film there.

Unfortunately, it’s THIS POSTER:

Now here’s where there are some unknowns. By this point, the movie is basically in its final form, which is an adorable, body-positive story about loving people for who they are, loving yourself for who YOU are, and that provides commentary on society’s standards of beauty and how they affect how people are treated/viewed. So why this poster??? All I can really tell is that someone (I think Finecut) really, REALLY messed up and either horribly mistranslated the tagline, or didn’t do enough research to know that this kind of thing is REALLY NOT OKAY in western culture.

The above picture is shared and the internet backlash begins, fueled by tweets from prominent body-positivity activists like Tess Holliday. Even Chloe Grace Moretz speaks out against it, because she of all people KNOWS that that’s not what the movie is about. The internet then finds the old teasers from before the movie was revamped and it makes things worse. Producer Sujin Hwang profusely apologizes and says that that is NOT the message of the movie. Locus pulls the advertising campaign, and takes down the two old teasers.

“Our film, a family comedy, carries a message designed to challenge social prejudices related to standards of physical beauty in society by emphasizing the importance of inner beauty.”

- Producer Sujin Hwang

Voice director Tony Bancroft also tried to explain the situation:

“The truth is the film has a body-positive message as its core theme–it’s the opposite of what reports are saying. The problem is one poorly translated movie poster that has been taken dramatically out of context.” 

- Voice Director Tony Bancroft

And then... There was nothing for a while. The movie didn’t come out in 2018 and was delayed. From what I can tell, I DON’T believe this delay was related to the Cannes backlash. I think it was mostly due to Locus’s limited budget and resources, because as we know, animation is difficult, time-consuming, expensive, and easy to do badly but hard to do well. Also, probably with Jin Kim and Tony Bancroft’s influence, they REALLY wanted to make sure to do a good job with the animation because they now had a great story and they really wanted the movie to be a quality, worldwide hit that would kind of put South Korean feature animation on the map. Just take a look at how nice the final animation was:

The movie was released in South Korea on July 25th, 2019. Unfortunately, the damage was done in the English-speaking markets and it was not released to an English-speaking audience until June 22, 2020, when it was released digitally in the UK. At the time of this post, there is no set US release date, but the distribution rights were recently bought by Lionsgate and the MPAA gave the film an official PG rating.

So who’s to blame? There’s no good answer. You could blame Locus for making those old teasers. You could blame Finecut for the competely tonedeaf Cannes poster. You could even blame cancel culture for raging against the movie based on one poster and two old teaser trailers without researching what the movie was actually about.

All I know is, it’s a damn shame.

[ac3id]

The Artist and His Majesty| 18+

𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒶𝓇𝓉𝒾𝓈𝓉 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝓂𝒶𝒿𝑒𝓈𝓉𝓎 0 / 5 | fantasy au. 

chapter i , chapter ii

pairings: yandere! emperor! shigaraki x female! reader.

warnings: [series] dubcon, exhibitionism, size difference, degradation, masturbation, bondage, reader is also kind of delusional, death, violence (not on reader). (there are more but i can’t think right now.]

↪ for chapter 0: none !!

summary: you come to the big city in hopes of starting your career as an artist but things take a shocking turn when you’re recruited as the court painter for the royal palace.

↪ for chapter 0: a strange man approaches you, offering to buy your painting to which you oblige. little do you know that it kicks of a series of unfortunate events ending with you being trapped in shigaraki tomura’s clutches forever.

wordcount. 

a/n: finally !! i started this series. high-key inspired by these two dresses in my wardrobe and @ana-list‘s this  drawing ! seriously it’s literally everything. also thank you once again for proof reading this @the-grimm-writer ! 

taglist: @shigaraki-is-my-master, @deathmemeiverse, @n4dhii, @bat-eclecticwolfbouquet-love, @mstssister, @nereida19, @prince-zukohere [dm to be added/ removed.]

“That’s a beautiful painting,” a rough, scruffy voice calls out, jerking you away from your daydreams. Your grip around the color canvas resting in your arms tightens as you glance behind your shoulder to see a well-built man standing right behind you. He’s tall and a lot older than you, he has short grey hair which falls right before his eyebrows along beautiful, matching grey eyes. A cigar hangs lazily from his lips as he occasionally huffs on it, blowing clouds of smoke out his mouth. He’s dressed in expensive robes, a choice of style only people better off could afford. You can’t help exachaning a covetous glance between his expensive suit and your sloppy, knee-length, light green dress. “Thank you.” you murmur shoving him an appreciative look, hoping he’d leave you alone. When you come to the city to complete your studies in art, you mother, father, family and friends had warned you about men like these. Rich, snobby men who liked to lure in young, naive girls. Whispering praises of how they are the most unique on the planet so they pull their guard down form them to take advantage of the helpless beings. 

“Can I take a better look? It’s the Emperor, is it not? Your painting. ” You hesitate before turning back to him. Not a lot of people had seen the King to be. He lived humbly in his castle, trying his best to not indulge in the affairs of the common people. “ Yes,” you hold up the slightly small canvas (courtesy of you being broke the entire week and not being able to save up to buy a bigger canvas). To even get an idea of Shigaraki Tomura, you had to go through many people. Not a lot of people had seen his face, he had always kept it hidden under a mask. No one knew why he did so but the many conspiracy throes suggested it was something to do with his personal grief.

 You had heard many stories about him. Some made him look like a spoiled brat with a demeaning, ignorant personality who didn’t care for others and as the rumors said: self destructive habits which lead him to tear the skin of his own neck down whenever he got anxious or frustrated. 

Others portrayed him as a strong, confident man and a reliable leader who cared for his comrades. You did not know which one of the two personas brought him your attention but you couldn’t complain. Tomura had caught you under a spell, and despite never meeting him (and knowing full well you never would), you were still ready to sacrifice your life for him. He was your King even before he had taken his crown, to you he looked like a shining bright light ready to enlighten you. To you, he was a god. And as years passed by, he grew from a caterpillar into a cocoon which was ready to burst open as a butterfly into the beautiful, mysterious world. And it was happening today, Prince Tomura Shigaraki’s Coronation ceremony. After the passing of All For One, it was his turn to take the crown and fulfill his duty as the ruler of the nation

 The entire city was busy, bustling with people. Families, friends and everyone in between gathered around the huge castle walls as they waited for the ceremony to begin. They waited patiently, filled with excitement and joy as they waited to catch a glimpse of the new great King. You were among them. You had come down to the centre of the city with your friends, waiting alongside many to catch a glimpse of the new ruler. The painting which nestled in your hand was something you were hoping to sell today, to a shop or anyone who wants to have it. It was a beautiful painting which had taken you several days to complete, and dare you say it, you were quite proud of it. From all the things you had heard about Tomura, you had managed to sketch him decently. Long white, wavy hair reaching till his shoulder, skin white as snow. He sat proudly on his throne wearing a cape with his vermillion eyes peering through your soul. His face was scarcely detailed as you did not have much idea about it but he still looked ethereal. With little scars running both his eyes and a comparatively larger one on his right. Chapped lips with even more scars running over them wildly, he was not conventionally attractive. No one would call him a pretty boy yet there was something more, something alluring which attracted  you to him. His beauty was rare, not in the grasp of many but if it was grasped and held close to the heart, it was hard to let go off. And you found him attractive, very attractive. 

The man took a good look at your painting, examining it carefully and for a second you really thought he had seen the mysterious Prince. “It’s quite similar to him,” he sends you a friendly grin and you notice a tooth from his front missing, leaving an uncomfortable gap. “Have you seen him before?” he asked and you shake your head, no. He gives you an amused expression, “I must say, you are very talented, miss…?” you complete your name with a nervous smile. “And you are?” you ask. 

You realised that you were getting a little too comfortable with the stranger and it could be a really bad decision but you can’t help but give him the benefit of the doubt as he behaves like a gentleman you can find yourself to trust. “Kagero Okuta but I like to go by Giran,” he says with a lop-sided grin. Giran, you’ve heard the name before but cannot recall where and how. It sounds so familiar but you just can’t grasp it, he looked wealthy so you assumed he was a Noble and that made you even more curious as to why he was speaking to you.

 “What are you planning to do with that painting?” he asks, diving a closer look and admiring its features. “I must say, you’ve got it quite accurate but,” you stiffen, your hands growing cold as your heartbeat picks up. You realized your painting must have some complications, drawing a man you had never seen before purely out of your interpretation was a hard and a bold task to do. But to have someone who had actually seen the King for himself pinpoint your mistakes sent a rush of anxiety through your veins.

 “He’s not that bony.” He completes and you gulp nervously, looking down at your painting in disappointment. Your eyes are filled with disappointment,  all of the time and effort you spent making the piece all for it go in vain just because you missed a small detail. Giran notices your remorse and speaks up, “But that’s quite alright. He looked just like that until a while ago,” he hadn’t meant to offend or hurt you. He still believed your painting was the most beautiful thing he had seen all day.

 “What do you mean?” you ponder, giving him a perplexed look. He leans  in closer to you as if to tell a secret, “let’s say the King has been working out behind closed doors.” you blink in confusion. It was a strange thing to say, exactly how well did this man know the Emperor? Who was it that you were talking? 

“Who are you?” you can’t help but question, bewildered by such a character. Giran says nothing. He just stares at you with his lips curled into a snappy smirk, holding his cigar between his lips. He was not going to tell you anything. Without wasting time, he quickly changes the topic. “What are you going to do with that painting?” he repeats, his voice growing impatient.

 “I am planning to sell it,” you feel a bit taken back. The friendly aura which had Giran had now disappeared for a reason you could not conclude. “Sell it? To whom?” the intruding nature of his tone starts to make you uncomfortable, there’s nothing more you want to do other than get far away from him. Yet you still find yourself answering him, “To anyone who wants it.” he hums at your response, his eyes holding a mocking glint. “Wouldn’t you like to give it to the Emperor himself?” you frown, was he mocking you? 

“That’s well...impossible.” you reply, stretching your neck awkwardly. “To you, maybe.” 

You stop yourself from rolling your eyes, this man was really testing your patience. A part of you tells you to ignore him and walk away but as he reaches into his coat and pulls out a bag of coins worth much more than you could ever earn in a month, he has you hooked yet again. 

“Hey, let me buy that painting, would yer’?” 

.

..

..

“What is the problem now?” Giran takes a seat around the round table. It was late after the Coronation ceremony and the Royal palace was already facing problems. Giran was disappointed but definitely not surprised. After all, he was their personal problem solver and broker. “It’s not that big of a deal.” A curt and hard reply cut him off.

 “It actually is, Shigaraki Tomura.” a voice speaks, coming from a man dressed in a black suit with a long, flowy robe covering his entire body. He stands taller than the other two men in the as his head is replaced with a wisp of smoke. He was none other than the trusted and talented magician of the Royal family. With eccentric features and an ability to wield strange magic, nobody knew where he came from. There were many rumors about him; that he was once a normal, handsome man cursed by a witch that turned him into a hideous monster or he simply was a ghost. “What is it, Kurogiri?” Giran rephrases his question, directing it to the other man. “We need a new painter,-” 

“Servant.” Shigaraki corrected. He stood in front of the giant windows glancing over his city as his men talked about hiring a new painter for the castle. He couldn’t care less about such tedious tasks, he had his focus set on greater things like expanding his territory, taking back stolen land. 

“What happened to Mr. Kyo?” Giran asked, Shigaraki rolled his eyes at the mention of the name and clicked his tongue, “His Majesty eliminated him.” Giran stops himself from laughing out loud. He was certain once Shigaraki would take over the throne incidents like so would double the instant. But he was expecting it to happen so soon. “And why was that?” 

“He was breathing too loud, like you are right now.” 

A cold silence broke over the room as Giran counted his breath. Kurogiri looked nervously at Shigaraki who still had his back turned to them. The longer the pause grew, the dreadful the atmosphere became. Shigaraki’s threat strung the air loud and clear and Giran was afraid to speak again. “What we are asking for is that-,” Kurogiri started in a calm, slow tone easing the tension in the room. “-we need a new court painter. Do you have any names?” 

The murderous sent in the air magically disappeared as a grin stretched across Giran’s face. 

“Aren’t you in luck?” He says, running a hand through his hair before taking a puff out of his cigar. “Does that mean you know someone?” Kurogiri questioned. Giran hummed, “You see, I met this beautiful painter today. She’s extremely talented and I know for a fact she will love working for the castle.” 

“What’s the name?” growing impatient, Shigaraki asks. “Oh, it was,” Giran pauses for a moment to recall. 

“Ah yes, Y/N L/N.” 

[team-heavenly]

Chapter 3

Hold B to speed up dialogue!

(The white text did NOT show up well here, so take my shitty edit.)

Now this is going to be a long post because there’s a LOT of new characters and oddities for me to share. You better set aside some time for this one.

(Because of this, from now on I will no longer be taking strictly plot-related pictures. We all know how the game goes anyway.)

PART TWO IS HERE.

😱 I can only imagine! Who knows what kind of crazy characters are out there? Plusle running wild... Budew gangs... Snubbull thieves?!

Tropius gives the order for Beedrill to show us around...

Tom Sawyer Beedrill... I love it.

So we start the tour. It’s about as boring as you remember, except:

The WHERE?! Does Guildmaster Totodile keep rubber bands in here or something?

I’m a HUGE fan of the replacement title for Treasure Town though

Nautical Cottage. It’s by the sea, bitches.

Although weirdly, Andrea clips back into the prime universe for a second:

🤷‍♀️ Yeah idk. Not even the weirdest thing that happened today.

Introducing the Treasure Town Nautical Cottage cast! Starring:

Tyrogue Bank!

Gulpin Link Shop! Hey this isn’t Pokémon Square!

FISH STORE FISH STORE COME GET YA GOODS AT THE FISH STORE!!

And Blastoise Storage!

(I’m never gonna stop gushing over Southern Beedrill. Just FYI.)

I like to imagine the scales above his eyes popping up every time he says “Hey hey hey!”

Chic girl Psyduck! Personal headcanon: she says “Oh my gosh!” every time her headache gets bad :(

Just for funsies, I decided to check out who runs the Dojo

Dang, one more evolution and this would’ve been perfect 😔

I’m not sure if anyone else cares about the various Treasure Town Exploration Teams, but I do! So we’re taking an inventory. Sorry, not sorry.

Believe it or not, I pretty much remember who is who based on the dialogue. (Look, it was bound to happen after playing through this game literally a dozen times as a kid.) Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong, but I think Sunkern is Pidgey and Magmar is Seedot!

For Team Tasty, we have Natu as Swellow and Wailmer as Wurmple. Which makes this extra hilarious:

Imagining a bird the size of an orb swallowing a beach ball sized whale whole... I’m not an artist, someone please draw this.

Socially friendly Toxicroak as Vigorith

For Team Ebony, we have Meditite as Murkrow and Rhyhorn as Shuppet.

I go to drop my stuff off at Blastoise Storage and...

Yeah. Here we see the real consequence of my needing to toggle the NPC portraits option. Unfortunate, but necessary. (Does that mean all the vendors are... imposters?!)

This is this first ever inventory from the Finneon Market! Does anyone know where you normally pick up the Miracle Chest? Because I’ve never seen it before. (Granted, I never did the harder dungeons like Zero Isle.) I ultimately bought the pure seed and heal seed.

And then we trigger the arrival of the adorable brothers! I can’t wait to see who they are...

Oh okay! I could see it! Uh, maybe not them being brothers, but I can easily tell which one is Marill and which one is Azu-

...Just kidding. That is objectively hilarious omfg

But then suddenly... ambiguous prophecy time!

Andrea: “Lol bet”

Finally, I get to check what the other Finneon is selling and UHHHHHH-

ONE OF THE SEVEN TREASURES,

AND A LEGENDARY ITEM.

I checked the description just out of curiosity and-

Onix Village?! 😂 I cannot wait for post game.

The team stumbles upon the kiddos, striking up a conversation with a good samaritan who promises to help find their lost item! And who is this shady benevolent character?!

Oh. Oh this is beautiful. With Blizzard, the boss fight is gonna be a cinch!

Uh, I mean-

Yeah. Sure. Let’s go with nice.

An entire line for a measly ‘t. Nice.

So here’s something neat! I found three Pokémon at the Crossroads that let you view the randomizer settings, the program credits, and the art credits!  I’m not sure if these Pokémon are set or if they were also randomized, but it’s a neat feature nonetheless.

Here’s my seed again, but remember you can always find it in my profile description and my pinned post.

A quick look at Team Glee before we kickstart the mission. We have Geodude as Togepi, Nuzleaf as Ledyba(?), and Carvanha as Politoed(?).

Andrea? That’s not a Sandshrew 🤨

(On a more serious note, it totally makes sense the in-game art would be untouched. That would be way too hard to mess with.)

Ack! Not Meganiu!

We find out our Mt. Bristle equivalent is Everlasting Bolt-hole. (Maybe this chapter should be “The One with the Large Hole.”) The first floor had the most incredible soundtrack btw.

The first Kecleon Shop! (This is yet another item I’ve never seen before?) The white text in the bottom right corner doesn’t show up as well as it did originally so: the gold box in the center is Lost Loot. Priced at 9999!

This is what I mean about the vast majority of items being sticky in a dungeon. This will kill me someday, I guarantee it.

Upon reaching Level 12, Andrea tried to learn Nightmare. Without any sleep inducing moves, it’s pretty much pointless. I declined the move.

Wacky floor arrangement aside, here’s an interesting item I didn’t even know had art for it: the raffle tickets from Spinda’s Cafe! (You may need to zoom in to see it.)

On reaching 8F...

Thaaaat’s right, another mandatory Monster House.

Alas, this time we weren’t so lucky.

I took the L. It only seemed fair.

So, for the first time ever, I returned to the Guild after failing a mission. And I discovered loads of new dialogue along the way.

(Do NOT make a NSFW joke out of this, I SWEAR TO GOD-)

I don’t know why the game makes the day turn over before you can try again. In-world, it just doesn’t make any sense. Gee, I guess I should be glad Sandshrew has the civility to put his petty scheme on hold and wait for us.

This was probably the worst of it:

A legendary talking down to me after I got ambushed by a Monster House.

Et tu, Pineco?

(I’ve nearly hit the image limit for desktop so find the rest of Chapter 3 here!)

[mrs-march-ahs]

Hi! I have a request~ The Evans reactions to losing in any sort of game. Can be board games or video games 😅

The Evans Losing At Games

Headcannons for all, imagines for some!

Cute idea, thank you! I didn’t write much for Jimmy, I’m sorry Jimmy I love you<3

Enjoy:)

Tate

-Clearly a teenage boy who lets emotions build up a lot -Definitely cheats if he’s had enough -If he keeps losing in the same part of the video game and rage quits, it takes him forever to get back into the game - “Ohhhh… I forgot that’s where I let off… fuck it” (quits) -Much better and calmer at playing cards, and generally prefers games were the two of you can talk and he doesn’t have to focus too much

--

You laid on your bed, scrolling aimlessly through social media, and occasionally glancing at Tate playing a video game he hasn’t played in a while. When you started talking about games, and you told him you had it, he nostalgically reminisced how much he used to play it when he was alive, so you set it up for him. Every few minutes, when a red screen would pop up, Tate would sigh, and with every passing death, his sighs got louder and angrier.

After only maybe half an hour of playing, Tate clearly couldn’t take it anymore, and threw the control towards the floor, before stomping over to shut the console and TV off. The sound made you flinch, and you had never seen Tate angry before. Nor his body language nor face showed his emotions, just his actions, and when he flopped by your side, he looked fine. If somebody had come in right now, they would just see two teenagers laying next to each other.

“Uhhh… you okay?”, you ask, before rolling over to face him. You poke at his chubby cheek as he stares up at the ceiling and tease him. “Sore loser”.

“Shut up, it’s your fault. You reminded me why I wasn’t allowed to play this game for very long”.

“Wanna play something else? Together? We could play Dragon Ball Z?”, you ask quietly, before going back to your childish sing-song teasing. “Be nice, and I’ll even let you win a few times!”

Tate looks over at you and huffs, before sitting up and getting the controllers, “Good thing you’re used to begging me for mercy”

Kit

-Least sore loser out of them all -Always up for a rematch -He’s pleasant even when he does win - “Want a rematch sugar? So you can have another shot at beating me?” - “Ah you were close, you’re getting good” - “You’re a good rival” - “If I lose, you can drag me to that Rom Com you wanted to see” - “If I win, we make more babies” -Pretends to be competitive when he’s playing with the kids - “I would say Team Girls vs Team Boys… but that’s not fair, the two of you don’t even stand a chance, right Tommy?” -If one of the kids beat him, he’d act super dramatically to give them as much satisfaction of winning -Laser tag is 34 years before Kit’s time, but if he played something like that, he’d try to let the kids win

--

You ran around the garden and chased a giggling Julia. Because of current financial issues, the power was out, but not wanting to worry the children to much, and not wanting them to ask too many questions, you and Kit decided to make the most of the sun and tire them out before it got dark. Kit, being the big kid he is, suggested playing a tag-like game Thomas invented, where you each get three pebbles each, and try to get each other out by throwing them. Gently. Unless you were throwing them at Kit.

Julia started slowing down when she reached the corner of the house, hoping to hide from you, but you were right behind her, making her turn around and burst out in giggles. When the 5-year-old laughed, the only thing you could see was the missing tooth she donated to the tooth fairy last night. Once you circled all around the house, you come back in view of the garden, and see Julia hiding behind Kit.

“That’s cheating!”, he exclaims, trying to run away from her and toss a pebble in her direction, only for her to do it faster. The second Julia’s tiny rock hits Kit’s tummy and bounced, he put his hands over his stomach and held it like a gun wound. He dropped to the floor dramatically, leaving the two little kids to die of laughter, and you walk over to him, Kit peeping open one eye slightly to see if you were watching him, and then stuck his tongue out to play dead. You picked up a stick from the floor and poked at his chest, making Kit chuckle but quickly hide it.

“Is it dead?”, you ask.

Thomas leans in closer to look at his dad on the floor, before Kit opens his eyes and pulls Tommy to the floor with him, rolling over to be on top of him.

“I win!”, Kit announces, before kissing his son on the cheek.

Franken Kyle

-He doesn’t particularly play complicated games, but he isn’t too patient and gets frustrated with himself pretty easily -If on one of his educational games, he messes something up too many times in a row, he’ll shut off the game and throw the tablet on the bed -He’ll avoid even looking at it -If he loses a tickle fight he’ll sit and whine, straddle you and then tickle you until you beg him to stop -Whines even if he loses at rock paper scissors -He likes colouring and drawing, and because it’s good for his motor skills, the two of you made a really simple game together -You drew out a long snake shape on a big piece of paper and drew lines in between for the spaces -Kyle carefully coloured them in with pencil and with a marker you wrote occasional things like ‘Go back two spaces’ or ‘Go forward three spaces’ -Sweet little Ky would roll the dice, and take his time, pushing his little figurine, which was something like a pencil sharpener or a bottle cap, and counted out the spaces -Got super excited if he won, but wouldn’t mind losing -He would insist the two of you keep playing, and you’re only allowed to stop and go to bed if you end on him winning -Sometimes he would try to let you win so that you could keep playing -Whine and pout if you had to stop playing, and how are you meant to say no to him? -You would have to promise you’ll play tomorrow -You’d be able to slowly make more and more complicated games, until eventually he’d be able to play things like checkers or Ludo

Jimmy

-Lowkey a sore loser -If there were loads of different people playing, he would be a lot more friendly -If he lost, he would still be super annoyed, but just wouldn’t show it -But if it was the two of you, he’d be super competitive -The type of person to flip the board game if he was losing -But he’d apologise straight away and pout if you didn’t want to play with him again - “C’mon let’s play again, I’ll be nice this time” - “Loser gets spanked” -Loves playing games like beer pong

James

-Unpleasant loser but also not a pleasant winner -Bitter compliments if you win at cards - “Well done darling, who would have thought with your high school education you were such a poker master” -Only willing to play the same 5 card games, because if you teach him a new board game he is not familiar with and he loses, he’ll claim it’s only because he’s new to the game -Absolutely infuriated if he loses at Monopoly, since he built a hotel after all -Don’t even bother trying to teach him how to play a video game -And of course - “Only amateurs keep score”

--

“What are you doing, dear?”, James said, fascinated at your little character wandering around a shop, on the screen in front of both of you.

“I’m trying to buy this plant, but I don’t have enough money, I want to see if I can sell anything I have”, you explain, pointing at your backpack filled with items that you can exchange for spare coins.

“Nonsense, darling, why don’t you simply stab the storekeeper and steal what you desire?”

“Because this is Animal Crossing, James, there isn’t a stab button”

Kai

-Kai likes playing video games or board games with literally anybody apart from you -He likes playing with Ozzy because he’s a kid so most of the time Kai can beat him easily -Definitely not the type of person to let the kid win, even if Ozzy is sobbing and Ally asks him to let Ozzy win once in a while - “Winning fairly will feel so much better for him” - “He won’t appreciate success if he doesn’t first taste failure” -Sometimes instead of story time with his troops he’ll play some board games -At first, everybody will keep letting Kai win out of fear -But eventually someone will win, and everybody else will be fearful for them, scared Kai will be angry - “Finally somebody capable, somebody strong, not scared to show their true capabilities” -But if you ask him to play a game with you, he probably won’t -If you eventually beg enough that he will agree to play a game with you, he’ll tell you he’s only playing one -If you win, he’ll be like, “Okay, are you happy now?” - “Finally it’s over” - “I let you win, are you happy?” -But if he wins, he’ll try to get you to play a few more games - “Are you giving up already?” - “Don’t be a sore loser, rise up to the challenge” - “I assumed you wanted to win, not just to play”

- (Kai loses) “See… you have to give a humiliated man a chance to redeem himself in his own ey-”

[13uswntimagines]

Your Ass Is Out of This World (Kelley x Reader)

Request: alex or kelley or sonnett x reader where they've been dating for a few years R is an astronaut for NASA and she gets to go to space

Author’s Note: Special thanks to @literaryhedgehog​ cause without her, none of this would have happened. 

Kelley wasn’t quite sure how she had ended up standing next to a dive bar sipping a lukewarm beer on a Friday night. In her defense, Ali and Ashlyn had convinced her it would be fun and had promised to pay for the Uber rides both ways. It had been fun for a while, dancing with them to some old 70s songs on the light-up dance floor, but half an hour ago they had disappeared off into a hallway somewhere, and she had no intention of third-wheeling (she knew she should have convinced Alex to join them). But she also wasn’t going to leave without them, because she wasn’t convinced either of them were sober enough to take any kind of transportation safely (someone needed to be there to make sure they didn’t puke in someone’s car).

So here she was, standing by the bar waiting for her friends’ sexcapades to be over, nursing her drink. The clink of a glass settling in front of her caught her attention. She blinked at the bartender. “I didn’t order another one,” 

The man’s lips ticked up and he shrugged. “Lady on the end paid for it. Said you looked sad,” 

Kelley looked up, following the man’s eyes towards a woman standing a few seats down the bar from her. She was also standing alone but was dressed as though for a different event altogether. Kelley had embraced the 70s theme of the bar slightly, wearing a jumpsuit and a scarf around her head, but this woman had just thrown a white NASA shirt--like the one Kelley got for her little cousin at Target-- over a pair of black jeans. As she bobbed her head to the music she met Kelley’s eyes and smiled. 

Kelley took that as her invitation to approach. Kelley’s eyes traced her form, lingering on the white material. She didn’t know those came in adult sizes...

“You must be a star, I can't stop orbiting around you” Kelley smiled charmingly as she approached you, setting her beer on the bar beside you and settling in the seat to the left of yours. 

“I do believe I was the one to buy you the drink…” you said, your lips twitching as you tried to keep a serious expression. “Shouldn’t I be the one throwing pickup lines here?”

“You bought me the drink, so I get to be the one to woo you. I’m Kelley, are you from Mars? 'cuz I wanna explore you with curiosity.” Kelley said, wiggling her eyebrows at you, enjoying the light blush coloring your cheeks. 

“Oh my god,” you groaned, “that was terrible. I mean really good but absolutely awful.”

“At least I got you to smile, but you still haven’t told me your name.” Kelley laughed, taking a sip of her beer. She was prepared to lay on the horrible pick up lines for your entertainment. 

“I’m Y/n,” you said, putting down your drink and holding out your hand, “pleasure.”

“They call me the milky way...Pleasure You Can't Measure,” Kelley smiled, shaking your hand as you laughed and pulling you a little closer “Why look at the moon, if I can’t touch it? Why look at your lips, if I can't kiss them,” she said, winking so you knew she was completely joking. 

“How do you know so many of these?” You said, shaking your head in awe. “ All I know off the top of my head is ‘do you work for NASA? Because you’re out of this world!’”

“Ah, a magician never reveals her secrets,” Kelley whispered conspiratoryly, bringing her hand up to cover her lips. “but my team and I have definitely had flirt offs for bonding nights,” 

“Your team?” 

“Yeah, I play soccer for the US and Washington,” She shrugged as if it wasn’t a huge accomplishment. 

Your eyes widened and you nearly spat out your drink. “Didn’t they, like, just win a World Cup?” 

“Yeah, No biggie,” Kelley said, side-eyeing you as she took another sip. 

“No biggie?  I’m surprised you don’t have a swarm of paparazzi shadowing you, that’s incredible! Weren’t the USWNT like the most successful US team in soccer?’

“Hm, there’s not enough drama for them, but we don’t mind. How about you? What do you do beautiful?” Kelley hummed. 

“Oh. I work for NASA,” you said, gesturing at the shirt. “I can’t wait to bring some of those lines back to work.”

“What??” 

****

“So do they at least give you a good choice of flavors? So you don’t get bored and stuff?” Emily asked from across the table, licking her dripping I cream cone. 

When your girlfriend decided to introduce you to the team after their match against Colombia, you were quite surprised she had chosen an ice cream shop as a venue. But with how food motivated the youngins seemed, you realized how appropriate it was. 

“I mean,” you said, your spoon suspended in the air as you blinked at Emily, “ice cream isn’t the only thing we will eat. I’m going to be on the station for like 8 months. Ice cream is not a balanced diet.”

“But it’s the only one they sell in the stores. You don’t have to lie cause the veggie lovers are here,” The defender said, leaning across the table, as though it would prevent the rest of the table from hearing her. 

“Babe, you literally love most veggies too,” Lindsey rolled her eyes, using her thumb to wipe a spot of chocolate ice cream from Emily’s nose. 

“Actually, I heard they’re a pretty good selection of dehydrated fruits and veggies and MRE’s and Tortillas and stuff. Plus I get to take a few things from home…” You mumbled, leaning back. 

She couldn’t be serious right? There was no way she thought you were supposed to sustain yourself on horrible freeze-dried dairy products for that long. Not to mention, freeze-dried ‘astronaut’ products for the most part weren’t actually possible to bring to space, with how crumbly they are. You were more likely to eat actual ice cream on the space station (less chance for an errant crumb being inhaled or destroying an important piece of equipment) than that gift shop garbage. 

“Oh yeah, MRE sounds way more likely than just eating the stuff they literally label as being for astronauts…” Emily said, rolling her eyes. “What does that even stand for? ‘Must reject Emily?”

You opened your mouth to answer, eyebrows furrowed, only for Kelley to nudge you softly. 

“It’s not worth the fight babe, trust me. Not the brightest lighthouse if you know what I mean,” Your girlfriend made a swirling motion with her finger next to her temple. 

You leaned in closer so your lips were nearly touching her ear. “She’s not serious right?” 

“I never joke about ice cream,” Emily answered seriously. 

You blinked at her, looking to your girlfriend who just shrugged and raised her eyebrows. 

“I’m, I’m not sure if they have a flavor rotation system for ice cream flavors. We haven’t been… briefed on that yet,” you nodded seriously. 

…...

“Can you hear me?” Kelley said, tapping her fingers impatiently as your face appeared in the video call. 

“He- -utiful,” You smiled through the glitchy computer screen. Your waving was broken up like a bad claymation. You leaned in to make out the fuzzy figures standing behind your girlfriend, assuming she was at camp or something. 

Normal long distance sucked, but literally being off-planet really made things difficult. It wasn’t like Kelley could just text you when she missed you, or randomly call you when she missed you at 3 am. Sure, she could email and you made a tremendous effort to schedule calls once a month, but it was still incredibly difficult (and slightly weird that a NASA tech dude had to monitor each call to make sure the connection stayed up). And sometimes even the best video-calling technology had issues. Like today (when a giant satellite or piece of space trash would block the signal). 

“Are you hav- -un at -amp?” You asked, grabbing your floating water pouch pushing out a sip sized water drop. 

“Yeah, it’s great,” Kelley said, watching you munch on your water. When you first got on the station you sent her pictures of artwork you made out of different drops of colored water- specifically making a giant water ‘soccer ball’ for her. Then you tried to boop it around and ended up losing control, amusing all your crewmates who watched you trying not to run into too many walls. “We’re looking forward to playing against Brazil on Friday, should be brutal.” 

“We’re set to be ov- Florida on -day, so I’ll try and tune into the ga-. Catch a nice - view,” You nodded, wiggling your eyebrows (which looked more like you having a seizure due to how badly you were pixelated). 

While Kelley wasn’t entirely sure what you were saying, she went ahead and nodded. “Let me know what you think!”

“Wh- color -it are you w-ing? Y- look -uper s-xy in the -ue,” you said, floating up in a ‘draw me like one of your french girls’ pose. 

“You’re favorite one,” Kelley said, winking at you. 

“-es!!” You cheered “-ake p-ture -or -“ the screen flickered dangerously for a second. Before a wobbly picture returned. 

“Babe you’re breaking up, I can’t tell what you’re saying. Y/n. Are you there? UGh. I love you! We’ll talk soon.”

“-ove y- -oo” 

Kelley blew a slow kiss to her camera before she heard a deep voice saying “Sorry ma’am. The connection was lost. Y’all still have five minutes on your scheduled call- Want me to try calling again? See if the signal improves?”

“Yeah,” Kelley shifted, rubbing the bridge of her nose as typing sounds echoed through the speaker. How she was going to make it through four more months of this she had no idea. 

“What if like the ship was attacked by aliens or something,” Sonnett whispered from her left, staring at the blank screen with real trepidation. 

“Not possible ma’am,” she heard him laugh. “But I doubt I would have the right level of security clearance to know.”

“great.”

Kelley grabbed a pen and marked a day off the calendar hanging on her wall. So much for ‘phone call with Y/n.’ She sighed. Just a few months to go. 

****

Gravity fucking sucked. It was disorienting and heavy and made you sick to your stomach. Space station alums always talked about re-entry and how bad that was, but you thought sitting in a NASA hospital bed while your equilibrium readjusted was way worse than your fireball craft plummeting into the ocean. 

“This fucking sucks,” You groaned, again throwing your hand over to pull out the IV. You hated how hard it was to move (and how you actually had to hold up a cup of water to get a drink but that was beside the point). 

“Whoa babe, I know you’re a little out of it right now, but that has to stay in. Just try and relax for a little while,” Kelley said, grabbing your hand and kissing the back of your knuckles. 

You frowned at her through heavy-lidded eyes. “Don’t wanna be here. Wanna be home with you.” 

“I know, but you gotta stay here until the re-entry symptoms have worn off a little more,” She said again. She knew that you weren’t going to be 100% when you stepped out of the spacecraft, but she hadn’t expected you to be so out of it. You were sick to your stomach and entirely unable to walk without assistance. 

The doctors assured her that you would be fine (residual effects from not being in gravity for so long and the impact of the landing or whatever), but it was still difficult to watch. It didn’t help that you were a horrendous patient. 

“Just watch the game. The US is even in Blue,” Kelley tried to coax. Even she was beginning to grow restless. But you couldn’t leave until you could keep down solid foods. 

“I don’t want to watch. You’re not in it,” You said, grabbing the remote from her and turning the television off. Then you tried to set the remote in the air, but instead of hovering like it should have done, it dropped to the ground. 

“Alright, commander Y/l/n. It’s dinner time,” one of the NASA hospital nurses said, bringing in a tray for you. Kelley thanked them as they left since you were too dazed to think of it.  

“God this food sucks, I hate jello ” you grumbled, lifting the spoon in front of your face (fully expecting it to float so you could take your bite) and dropping it as you want to open the pudding packet instead. “I just want a big juicy cheeseburger. With bacon and onions and-“ You trailed off, your mouth watering at the thought. You hadn’t had proper food in 8 months, and it had been your major cravings food. 

“A side of diabetes” she scoffed, picking up the discarded remote and spoon, “And are you going to keep dropping things everywhere?” She asked, carefully filling a spoon with chocolate pudding and guiding it to your mouth. 

“Fuck Newton. Things are supposed to float,” 

****

You loved the soft skin behind Kelley’s ear. It was so smooth, and it always smelt like a mix of her perfume, shampoo, and something inherently Kelley. It was a bonus that your exploration of the area always sent a shiver down her spine. You ran your nose along the skin there, nibbling on her ear before moving down her neck. Leaving little kisses along your path. Kelley sighed, sleepily scratching your scalp and tilting her head to the side to encourage you to continue. 

“You,” Kelley said. “ I like you.”

“Hm, I’m glad. It would be kinda scary if you were doing this with someone you didn’t like,” you mumbled against her skin, unwilling to part with it for even a moment. Kelley giggled at the tickling sensation. How you still had so much energy after you had thoroughly worn her out getting… reacquainted she would never know.

 “But what do you like most. Tell me, babe,” You said, moving your lips a little lower, towards where her shoulder and neck met. 

“I love… your ass. It’s out of this world.” She said sleepily, reaching around to grab her favorite asset of yours. 

“Well, it has been,” You laughed, pulling away reluctantly so you could look her in the eyes. 

“Shut up you goof,” She rolled her eyes, grabbing a pillow and whacking you lightly. You fell over dramatically, pulling her so she was on top of you. 

“Hm, I’m your goof,” 

“Yeah. You are. And babe?” She smiled down at you, leaning down to press a kiss to your lips. 

“Hmm?” You hummed against her lips. She leaned back to look you in the eyes, one forearm across your chest and her other hand beside your head supporting her. 

“No more space travel for a while?” 

 “Pinky promise,” You said, wiggling your hand so your littlest finger connected with hers. 

“Good. I can’t believe I was dating someone from TEXAS for a while.” Kelley pretended to shudder. “Jus think, one of your coworkers might have been a Houston dash supporter!”

[jungshookz]

teeny tidbits: it’s valentine’s day and everyone’s in love 💕💫

i couldn’t let valentine’s day go by without showing you what some of your favourite couples are up to on this romantic day so i hope you enjoy these six teeny tidbits!! 

unfortunately i couldn’t do one for everY single character because i would literally die at my keyboard but i hope these ones still manage to give you all the fuzzy feelings :-) 

happy valentine’s day! 

                                       »»————-　💖　————-««

➳ lveb!namjoon (feat. lveb!yoongi): it’s valentine’s day and namjoon & y/n won’t let yoongi forget it 

“if these come out ugly, can i just eat them?” yoongi asks, his hands starting to tremble as he continues to squeeze the frosting out of the piping bag

he’s been doing this for the last half an hour and his hands are starting to go numb

you shut the oven door before tossing the kitchen towel over your shoulder and turning around to look at how much progress yoongi’s made

…

hm

maybe you should put him on cleanup duty instead

luckily he’s only frosted four and a half so there’s no major loss here

you reach over to pluck the piping bag from yoongi’s hands and he immediately frowns

you don’t need to say anything for him to know what that means 

you never appreciate his hard work!! you’re breaking his heart here!!

“you know, the messiness just makes them more unique.” he points out, gesturing to his beautiful tray of heart-shaped cookies, “it gives your cookies character!”  

“mhm…” you roll your eyes playfully as you turn to grab a tupperware box from the cabinet so yoongi can pack up his cookies to bring home

“all i’m saying is that you never appreciate my artistic abilities.” yoongi murmurs, swiping a glob of frosting off the table and promptly sticking his finger into his mouth to suck it off

“abilities is a reach.”

yoongi gawks, about to respond with a retort about how he doesn’t have to help you but he chooses to because he’s a good friend but he doesn’t get the chance to before he gets distracted by the sound of the kitchen door creaking open

he swivels around on the stool, about to greet namjoon enthusiastically and to tell him all about how you’re refusing to sell his beautiful cookies because apparently they’re ‘ugly’ and ‘look like a two year old decorated it and then sat on it’

namjoon brings a finger up to his lips to tell yoongi to be quiet, yoongi opening his mouth to say something before closing it again

“did you ever return that round container?” you ask, yoongi looking back over at you to see you sorting through the cabinets

“the round container?” yoongi asks dumbly, watching as namjoon crouches down with a devious smile on his face, “uh, yeah! i’m pretty sure i did.”

“really? because i can’t find it anywhere-” you move to turn around, yoongi’s eyes widening as he suddenly gets up from his stool and points to the cabinet so that you don’t notice namjoon creeping up behind you

“there! i see it right there!”

“whe- oh!” you jump in surprise when suddenly an arm slinks around you from behind, a kiss being planted on your cheek a moment later, “you scared me!”

“mm, sorry, baby-” namjoon hums, pulling you closer and squishing another kiss to your face, “i was hoping i’d be back before you got up!”

namjoon left before you woke up but you didn’t have much time to think about it because you had to get straight to baking

for you, valentine’s day is one of the busiest days of the year which means you’re basically in the kitchen all day

you appreciate the business but you’re always so exhausted that you basically pass out covered in flour by the end of the day

yoongi came over to help because he usually helps out anyway (and also because you usually have extras that he likes to take home) but he said that he couldn’t stay for long because he had to prepare for his ‘plans’ tonight

(you know he’s going out on a date with that receptionist girl with the hershey kisses but you haven’t hounded him on the topic because the last thing you want is to freak him out and get him all sweaty before his night of romance)

“where’d you go?” you ask, turning your head and reaching up to turn namjoon’s face towards you so you can give him a proper kiss, a giggle bubbling from your lips when he leans in for another one after you pull away from the first one 

“to get you these-!” namjoon suddenly pulls a lush bouquet of forget-me-nots from behind his back and holds it in front of you, the sweet surprise automatically drawing a gasp of delight from you, “happy first valentine’s day!”

oh :’)

how romantic :’)

“i love them!” you take the bouquet from his hands with wide eyes before turning around so you can face namjoon, “you’re so sweet…”

namjoon purses his lips for another kiss and you immediately hear yoongi let out a groan

“all this kissing is going to make me hurl- also, are there no flowers for me, darling?” yoongi asks sarcastically, clasping his hands together before making obnoxious kissy noises at namjoon while fluttering his lashes, “and why didn’t you get roses instead? that way, i could’ve taken one.” he huffs, frowning in disappointment, “can’t give her stupid forget-me-nots…”

“her?” namjoon perks up, tilting his head in curiosity before looking back at you with a raised brow

he grins when you lean up to give him a sneaky little smooch while yoongi’s distracted

“yoongi has plans tonight.” you hint as you pull away from namjoon, slipping past him so you can grab a vase for the flowers

namjoon’s eyes widen for a second before he looks back over at yoongi with a knowing grin, “ah… plans! sounds fun.”

“uh, yeah, i guess you could call them plans. it’s just, like- we’re just having dinner at my place but honestly i’m probably going to order pizza or something.”

“you know, some places are making their pizzas heart-shaped since it’s valentine’s day. you should consider doing that!” namjoon points out, nodding enthusiastically, “ooh, or maybe you can ask them if they’d be willing to cut the pepperonis into little hearts-”

“that seems like it’s a little much for something casual-”

“casual-” you snort quietly to yourself as you fill the vase up with water, “we all know it’s not casual-”

“it is!” yoongi argues, straightening up a little, “it just so happens that today is valentine’s day, alright? whatever!”

“i still think you should consider the heart-shaped pizza. do you want me to order it for you? ah, what if i take care of dinner for you??” namjoon clasps his hands together, “i love planning romantic dinners-”

“i-it’s not a romantic dinner-!”

“it’s not romantic, but…” you trail off, carefully pulling a couple stems out of your bouquet before pulling one of the satin ribbons that are typically used for wrapping up the boxes off the table, “give this to her! just to be courteous.” you hum, carefully wrapping the ribbon around the stems before handing the mini bouquet to yoongi

yoongi blinks at the mini bouquet before taking it cautiously from your fingers, “courteous?”

“mhm. it is valentine’s day today, after all.” you nod, smiling lightly when you notice yoongi’s cheeks starting to get a little pink, “and if you’re feeling extra courteous, you can even do this-”

yoongi’s eyes pop open when you suddenly lean over and plant a big kiss on his cheek, his face instantly going bright red, “y/n!”

                                      »»————-　💖　————-««

➳ ceo!yoongi; it’s valentine’s day and yoongi & y/n are still very much in love with each other 

“i have to admit that this flavour isn’t actually half bad.” yoongi hums, scooping up a little spoon of ice cream before bringing it up to his mouth, “but the vanilla frozen yogurt is still the best choice here.”

“low-fat, low-fun, old man.” you remind him, reaching up to wipe the chocolate syrup off the corner of your mouth, “but i’m glad you mustered up enough courage to try something new this time!”

yoongi branched out and decided to try the strawberry-chocolate flavoured frozen yogurt because this is his version of spicing things up

in his eyes, he’s an unhinged man tonight!

“you’re just being a hater- you and your ridiculous red-velvet-cake and chocolate syrup nightmare-”

you watch fondly as yoongi continues to rattle off about your questionable choice in ice cream while he scrapes at the side of his cup

the man you love and whose child you birthed hates ice cream and somehow you’re still very much in love with him

“so what else do you have planned for tonight?” you ask, yoongi looking up at you from his cup

you don’t know if maybe it’s because you’re getting old and you like to go to sleep early now but you wouldn’t mind calling it a night after dessert

you had fish tacos for dinner - because of course you did - and now you’re having ice cream for dessert at your favourite parlour in the same booth where yoongi kissed you for the first time - because of course you are

everything about tonight has been perfect and now all you want to do is go home 

yoongi pauses, his eyes narrowing slightly

“well, i was thinking that maybe we could…” he drops the little plastic spoon into his cup before pushing it aside, folding his hands on the table and leaning forward

“we could…?” you ask innocently as you fold your arms up on the table and lean in as well, taking your bottom lip in between your teeth

“you know…” yoongi tilts his head, eyes flickering down to your lips for a brief moment before he looks back up at you “…buy a couple extra-large pints of ice cream to bring home?” he smiles knowingly, “they’re having a valentine’s day discount!”

“min yoongi... that is…” you reach across the table to squeeze yoongi’s wrist, “hands-down the sexiest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

                                     »»————-　💖　————-««

➳ uni!yoongi: it’s valentine’s day and y/n knows the way to yoongi’s heart 

“in my opinion, valentine’s day is silly. it’s an overly commercialized holiday where large corporations take advantage of lovey-dovey couples who are willing to spend thousands and thousands of dollars on each other just to show each other how much they care, you know?” yoongi sighs, watching as you continue to rummage through your backpack, “like, i don’t need one day out of the year to show you how much i care about you when i care about you literally everyda- OOH, a present!” his eyes immediately light up when you pull out a box with his name written on the tag and you can’t help but snort at how quickly he’s changed his tune

“i just want you to know that if you don’t like these, i can totally go back and return them…” you clear your throat, watching as yoongi enthusiastically tugs at the ribbon before tossing it over his shoulder like a madman, “okay, you know you have to pick that up later-”

you’re pretty sure he stopped listening to you like three seconds ago but whatever

“y/n, you could give me a chunk of dirt and i’d still like-” yoongi takes the lid off, a wide grin suddenly stretching over his face, “no way! this is way cooler than a chunk of dirt!”

!!!

they’re a new set of wheels!

for his skateboard!!!!

they’re see-through with little red hearts sprinkled throughout the resin which isn’t usually the style he goes for but nonetheless these are going to look so sick!!!

“they’re new wheels for your skateboard!” you smile, watching as yoongi brushes the shreds of tissue paper off of them, “i know that little red hearts aren’t your thing, but they’re my thing and i thought it’d be nice because you could match with my scrunchie…” you trail off shyly, reaching up to rub the back of your neck, “but, yeah… if you don’t like them, i can return them for something cooler! they had ones with flames painted on them-!”

you don’t get a chance to say anything else before yoongi’s reaching over to grab the leg of your chair so he can yank you towards him for a kiss

“i love them-” yoongi beams, nudging his nose against yours before pulling away, “plus, i needed a new set of wheels so this is great.”

he takes another second or two to admire his new wheels before suddenly looking up at you, “now i feel like my present is super lame compared to yours…”

“oh, don’t be like that.” you frown playfully before bouncing up and down a little in your chair, “what’d you get me??”

“do you remember that polaroid picture we took over christmas?” yoongi asks, twisting in his seat so he can grab his bag, “the one of us sitting by the christmas tree in your apartment?” he pulls a brown paper bag out and hands it to you and you take it with greedy little raccoon hands 

you’ve been looking forward to this all week

obviously you loved his present last year but you have a feeling you’re going to love this year’s present even more!

“mhm. i love that photo! i stuck it on the fridge, remember?” you ask, carefully peeling the tape off and folding the strip in half before setting it on the table

“well, i sent it to this person on etsy…” yoongi trails off, waiting for you to pull his gift out before making his announcment, “…and they turned it into a little keychain!”

!

omg

you can’t help but coo at the miniature polaroid, smoothing your finger over the surface

“oh, yoongi…” you giggle softly, pinching at the little red heart charm attached to the chain before looking up at him, “i love it! this is such a thoughtful present…”

“ah, it’s nothing…” yoongi murmurs, averting his gaze before shrugging, “i just thought it’d look nice on your keys, that’s all.”

“it’s going to look very nice on my keys. thank you, yoongi.” you lean forward to give him a peck, yoongi humming happily as you do so 

“also, before i forget-” he perks up, “i found these and had to get them-” he turns and starts digging into his bag again before pulling out a pair of fuzzy handcuffs (it’s white with red hearts because that seems to be a recurring theme here), “you know, i’ve just been going through an etsy phase. there’s so much cool stuff on there!”

you zip your backpack up before turning back to face yoongi 

“yeah, there’s a lot of stuff you can find on et- yoongi-!” your eyes nearly roll out of your skull at the sight of him twirling a pair of handcuffs around his finger, “oh my god, put those away!“ you hiss, looking around frantically before reaching over to try to grab them from him only for yoongi to raise his arm up  

“what? you keep slipping out of the scrunches so i figured it was time to upgrade to something more secure.” the corner of yoongi’s mouth twitches in a smirk, “and the best part about these was the free shipping-”

“put them away-!”

                                    »»————-　💖　————-««

➳ mechanic!yoongi: it’s valentine’s day and yoongi won’t pay attention to y/n

“yoongi…” you sigh, placing your hands on your hips as you gently kick at yoongi’s feet, “c’mon, pay attention to me!”

you have a surprise for him and he was supposed to take a break like an hour ago!

“gimme one second, doll…” yoongi trails off, his voice muffled from where he is under the car, “i just have to do this-”

“you could be doing something else right now-” you grumble, reaching down to pick at a piece of lint off the jumpsuit you’re wearing

you bought a very pretty lingerie set a month ago in preparation for valentine’s day and you would really appreciate it if yoongi would spare you one second to notice that you’re wearing one of his jumpsuits (which already should’ve raised a red flag for him, but for some reason it didn’t) and underneath this grubby jumpsuit is a very pretty bra and an even prettier pair of panties!

it’s navy blue to match the jumpsuit and it even has little ribbons sewn onto the thigh garters which you know for sure he’s going to be a big fan of

“you said one second like ten minutes ago…” you whine quietly, hoping that yoongi can hear the pout in your voice so he’ll finally wheel out from under this damn car, “don’t you wanna know what your surprise is?”

“i do, baby, but i’m almost done…” yoongi’s hand shoots out from under the car to blindly reach for a wrench and you nudge it towards him with your foot, “thank you, pretty girl…”

“you can’t call me that if you’re not even looking at me.”

you know he’s beefing up the nicknames right now because he knows you love it when he calls you all sorts of terms of endearment and you’re trying noT to let that butter you up but there’s something about the way he says baby that just makes your tummy tingle

...

what were you doing again? 

you shake yourself out of your trance before crossing your arms stubbornly, “you know what? maybe i’ll go and show namjoon what’s under this jumpsuit since you’re obviously a little too busy for me right now- NAMJOON, i need you! can you come out here for a second?”

“mm, you can show namjoon first and then i swear i’ll be done after- wait, under the jumpsuit-?!”

you hear a thud and a low ‘ow, fuck-’ before yoongi suddenly rolls himself out from underneath the car, scrambling up from the ground frantically, “did you say under the jumpsuit?” he asks, reaching up to wipe his face with the back of his hand only to smear more grease across his cheek

“i did.” you nod, placing your hands on your hips again before taking a step back, “and i would let you find out what’s under it for yourself, but your hands are very dirty so you’re not coming anywhere near me- anyways, if you weren’t so busy doing whatever it is you’re doing to that car-” yoongi’s eyelids flutter rapidly when you yank the jumpsuit open in one swift move, his mouth immediately going dry at the sight of… holy shit- “you could’ve been busy doing me.”

“i could’ve-” yoongi chokes, his eyes unable to look away from your chest, “i could’ve been do- we could- yeah, i can definitely do something else right now-”

oh, wow

it matches the jumpsuit and everything 

...he wants to rip it off of you using his teeth.

“y/n! did you call for me?”

“joon! yeah, i was wondering what you thought about this-” you’re about to turn around to see if namjoon will appreciate your present more than your own boyfriend, yoongi lunging forward immediately to keep you from literally flashing namjoon, “yoongi-!” it’s only a second later that you feel yourself being lifted up and practically thrown over yoongi’s shoulder, your head spinning for a second at the sudden movement

“namjoon, there you are!” yoongi clears his throat before gesturing back to the car, “also, could you check on the- uh, the thing for me? the thing i was doing? to make sure it’s working?”

“yoongi, put me down, you lunatic-!”

“what? i don’t-” namjoon blinks owlishly when yoongi slaps a wrench down onto his palm, “i don’t know what you were doing, i’ve been in the office this whole ti-”

“great, thanks!” yoongi gives him a hearty slap on the shoulder before brushing past him, namjoon turning to look as he trots off towards the office with you still hanging over his shoulder

“do not get any grease on me, you brute-!”

why would he-

oh

oh.

“yoongi-” namjoon clears his throat, “remember to hang a bandana on the doorknob this time!”

                                    »»————-　💖　————-««

➳ balletteacher!jimin: it’s valentine’s day and jimin & y/n have to be more careful next year

“okay, i know you told me not to get you anything for valentine’s day, but i couldn’t help myself.”

“jimin…” you turn to glance at him over your shoulder as you continue blindly rummaging through your duffle bag, “i told you i didn’t need anything!”

“but it’s valentine’s day!” jimin argues, shutting the closet door before spinning around on his heels with a cheeky grin, “and they’re just flowers!”

“yeah, but knowing you, they were probably really expensive flowers-” you tease, getting up from the ground before dusting your knees off, “and you didn’t have to get me a whole bouquet, i would’ve been perfectly fine with a single rose like last year-”

“i’m allowed to spend however much money i want on you-” the two of you walk towards each other until you’re standing in the centre of the room, jimin reaching into the bouquet to adjust the little note tucked into the centre of it, “now, i was going to go with roses, but i saw these red gardenias and thought they’d be the better option because i got you roses last year. plus, roses are a little cliché this time of year, don’t you think?”

to: y/n - there’s not enough space on this card to write a lot so happy vday i hope u know how much i care about u

“aw, jimin…” you giggle, unable to fight the grin off of your face after you read the endearing handwritten note, “happy valentine’s day to you too.”

jimin’s eyes widen in surprise when you suddenly pull a little heart-shaped box out from behind your back with a small giggle

“what? i thought you said you didn’t get anything for me?” jimin gasps, tilting his head before taking the box from you, “sneaky!”

“i know. i lied.” you crinkle your nose as you shake the box gently, “i customised it too and chose all your favourite flavours!”

“that’s very thoughtful of you, darling-” jimin smiles softly, wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you towards him, “i can’t wait to-”

“mr. park, i think i left my-” you immediately spring away from jimin when the door suddenly swings open and smacks against the wall, “oh-!”

“seulgi!” jimin clears his throat, his grip tightening on the bouquet, “hello!”

“what’s… going on…?” seulgi trails off, eyes narrowing suspiciously at the bouquet of gardenias that both you and jimin are still holding onto, “are those flowers?”

“uh…” you look back over at jimin and the two of you exchange brief glances of pure panic, “yes! these flowers…” you trail off, your brain working overtime to come up with a believable reason as to why you and jimin look like you’re exchanging very romantic gifts, “are for everyone!” you chirp, grabbing the bouquet from jimin’s hands before spinning around to face seulgi with a smile, “mr. park wanted to give them out earlier but it slipped his mind so he asked me if i could hand them out to you guys!“

“oh my gosh, really?” seulgi gasps, bringing her fingers up to cover her mouth, “you know, i love gardenias-” she takes her bottom lip in between her teeth as she leans against the door frame, eyeing jimin dreamily,  “that’s so sweet of you, mr. park. we didn’t know you were planning on surprising us again! you really didn’t have to do this!”

“yes, i… really didn’t…” jimin forces a smile on his face, “but i did… because i just… care so much about all of you ladies on this special day…”

“what about the chocolates?” seulgi leans over a little, her eyes flickering down to the box in jimin’s hand

you twist around to look down at it

you knEW you should’ve saved it for later tonight!

now you don’t have flowers and jimin’s about to lose his chocolates!!

jimin pokes his tongue against the inside of his cheek as he stares down at his precious box of chocolates given to him by his very lovely girlfriend that he was planning on sharing with his very lovely girlfriend later tonight

…god damnit.

“…the chocolates are also for you guys.” jimin looks back up at seulgi, trying his best not to look like he wants to strangle her for interrupting what would’ve been a sweet moment, “why don’t you call everyone back?”

“okay!” seulgi practically squeals, disappearing from the doorway in less than a second

a couple seconds of silence pass by before you slowly turn around to face jimin with a sheepish smile, jimin letting out a chuckle before shrugging at you 

“…happy valentine’s day?”

“happy valentine’s day.”

                                    »»————-　💖　————-««

➳ roommate!taehyung: it’s valentine’s day and taehyung can be romantic if he wants to be 

“dark chocolate… oh my god, is this lemon? ew!” taehyung frowns, swallowing the bite before shuddering and placing the other half of the chocolate back into the box, “who in their right mind wants to eat lemon gunk inside a piece of dark chocolate?”

“i got peanut butter chocolate, so i’m happy with my selection.” you hum, dusting your fingers off before peering into the box for another piece

“what?? i wanted peanut butter chocolate!” taehyung whines, picking up the pamphlet to look at the different flavours again, “damnit. there’s only one peanut butter chocolate!”

“hey, you ate the milk chocolate caramel and you know i like that one!”

“everyone likes milk chocolate caramel, y/n. you’re not special!”

“i know you’re just lashing out because you’ve been getting all the gross flavours, so i’m going to forgive you for saying that.”

“like, ten of these pieces look the same…” taehyung scowls and continues to flip through the pamphlet, “i want milk chocolate and almond but it looks exactly like this one that’s milk chocolate with some kind of whipped orange filling inside of it…”

long story short, the two of you have been sitting here for the last half an hour snacking on a big box of chocolates that you decided to splurge on instead of using up all of your money on an overly-expensive dinner

valentine’s day is nice and all but you and tae both agreed that you wouldn’t make a big deal of it

you had a discussion about valentine’s day and the conclusion of that conversation was that you’d go all out on your anniversary but just take it easy on valentine’s day

but then again… a lot of your friends who are also in relationships have been posting cute pictures all day long of them and their significant others

and you know that you literally said valentine’s day wasn’t a big deal but... but the giant teddy bears… and the beautiful bouquets of flowers… the shiny, twinkling jewellery… the fancy dinners at fancy restaurants… it all looks so nice! 

it’s not like you feel like you’re missing out on anything because the only thing that matters is that you and taehyung love each other blah blah blah anD you definitely don’t want to make it seem like you only care about materialistic things but it really makes you wonder if you and taehyung are just... bad at being a couple?

“are we bad at being romantic?” you ask out loud, turning to look at taehyung, “because we basically have no plans for the rest of the day besides gorging on chocolate and… well, gorging on more chocolate.”

“i don’t think we’re bad at being romantic. this is just… our version of romance!” taehyung shrugs, setting the pamphlet down before turning to face you as well, “everyone can celebrate today however they want to celebrate it, and we just so happen to be celebrating it like this!” he gestures to the two of you and the box of the chocolates

you’re wearing a grubby, stained sweatshirt and your fingers are sticky with chocolate and taehyung’s currently trying to fish a chunk of almond out from his molars 

you’re not sure what kind of romance this is but it’s definitely something

“yeah, i guess you’re right…” you trail off, picking at one of the empty paper wrappers in the box

“why do you ask?”

“ah, no reason. you’re right. i mean, i’m the one who said that valentine’s day was-” you clear your throat before dismissing him with a flick of your wrist, “yeah, nothing.”

taehyung’s shoulders droop slightly as he watches you pick at the chocolates with a slight frown on your face 

it’s not like he didn’t have anything planned for valentine’s day - as a matter of fact, he was going to get you one of those fancy buckets of roses that he sees all over instagram AND he was going to place a custom order for a whole bag of candy hearts with your guys’ initials on them - but then you mentioned one night that valentine’s day was kind of a goofy holiday and he immediately changed his mind 

“...okay, c’mon.” taehyung dusts his hands off before getting up off the couch, a couple paper wrappers fluttering onto the floor, “go and get changed.”

“what are you talking about?”

“you want romance? i can do romance! one time i folded a girl’s clothes the morning after, and if that doesn’t scream romance, i don’t know what-” taehyung pauses when he realises he probably shouldn’t be talking about his past girls in front of his current girl (also you’re giving him that look that screams i dare you to continue talking), “i… am going to change the subject now because i feel myself wandering into dangerous territory- the point is: why don’t you change into something a little less comfortable?”

“what- why?” you frown, taehyung reaching down to wrap his hand around your elbow and pull you up off the couch

“we’re going on an impromptu date night, that’s why!”

“all the restaurants in the city are probably fully booked already, though-” you shake your head, reaching down to pick your phone up, “i don’t know…”

“aw, c’mon. looking for a restaurant on one of the busiest nights of the year is all part of our valentine’s day fun!!” taehyung chirps, reaching up to pinch your cheek, “plus, if all else fails, we’ll come home and order takeout like we were originally going to - which will still be super fun and romantic, because everything we do is super fun and romantic. okay?”

a wide grin spreads on taehyung’s face when he notices the excited smile starting to twitch at the corner of your mouth

“…okay!” you giggle, taking tae’s hand as you bounce up and down on the balls of your feet, “okay, let’s go change-” you turn around, pulling tae along behind you, “i bought a new pair of boots and i’ve been dying to wear them out-”

“yay! also, i’m just letting you know now that after we come home i’m going to bone you so romantically that you won’t even know what hit you-”

“tae-”

“what?! you said you wanted romance!”

✨why don’t you explore the rest of the library while you’re here?

💫or perhaps you want something shorter to read?

🌟or something even shorter?