#second csection

[castrovulcant]

[Image description: a close up of a person looking distressed as they are crying and screaming. /end image description]

me when a fictional woman decides not to get an abortion

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Unexpected 45

Warnings: non/dubcon, pregnancy, pegging, Lloyd being the worst, post partum, csection, suicidial ideation, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

"How was it, dearie?" Dottie asks as you get in.

You keep your cool. Something about that house dampens your spirits. You look her in the eye grimly and shrug.

"Luna baby missed ya," she chimes, "first time away from ya and all."

"Oh?" You tweak a brow apathetically, "she hungry?"

She sighs, "you're her mama."

You narrow your eyes. She can probably read your thoughts across your face. Yeah, and what about her father?

"I pumped all that milk before I went. I can't feed her now, I had some mimosas," you turn your palms out, "you'll have to start the formula."

"Nothing wrong with that. I sent you out to have fun," she gives a clamped smile, "I got enough for the youngin. She's still nappin'."

"Great," you mutter, "I'm gonna lay down."

"I'll bring her up to ya before I tuck in," Dottie offers.

"Sure," you turn away and drag your feet to the stairs.

Your escape was all too brief. The afterglow fades quickly as you climb up to the second floor. The giddiness of making out with Andy in his backseat dissipates as you're drowned in the gloom of that house.

You go into the guestroom where you've made your nest and undress. You lay under the blankets, in silence, without a light. For once you just want to know where you stand with a man and with Andy it's clear. You both just need to forget about all the shit in your life.

Just two more weeks. You won't have your body back, you don't think you ever will, but you will be able to enjoy it. You didn't realise how much you'd miss intimacy until it wasn't there. Not him, never him, just the feeling of another person against you.

🍑

You sit on the bench and tie your sneaker. You don't feel great. Your hips hurt, your back hurts, and you're tired as hell. Still, you don't want to stay in that house.

You stand up and check the stroller again. The baby's secure and staring at nothing with her glassy eyes. You don't get it. She just lays there, then shrieks, then dribbles down milk and sleeps again.

"Oh, sweetie, you off somewhere?" Dottie comes out from the kitchen.

"Just a walk. Been long enough I can move a bit better," you say casually.

"And you're taking the sweet one with you?"

You hear the hopefulness in her voice. She wants you to love the baby. She wants to believe that child is the one redeeming quality she can claim for her son.

"Yeah, might as well," you say as you turn and grab the stroller, turning it to angle after you as you approach the door.

"You want me to come with y'all?" She asks.

You swallow. Don't show your hand.

"If you want," you say dully.

"Ah, don't let me get in your way," she thinks better of it. "I'll be here."

"Won't be long," you say as you get the door open and back out, carefully pulling out the stroller with you, keeping it even as you roll over the edge of each step.

"It's getting chilly out, you got enough blankets?" She calls after you.

"All good," you assure her.

She watches you go, waving from the porch as you twist the stroller around. You keep an even pace as you head through the gate. You don't want her to see your eagerness. You wait until you're beyond the property to pull out your phone. You rest it on the handle and read the last message from Andy. He's coming.

You don't go very fast. You still feel very much unready. You look down at the baby as she rests her fist against her cheek. Something about her nose reminds you of him...

You shake your head. Don't. You don't want to give him that power. He threw all that out when he disappeared.

As you get to the corner, Andy appears. He wears a dark blue hoodie over a grey tee. He approaches with a smile and peers inside the stroller brightly. He leans in to coo at the baby.

"She's getting big."

"I guess," you utter.

"We're Dot?" He looks down the sidewalk.

You frown. Shit. Did you misinterpret?

"I left her behind. Why--"

"Making sure," he winks and leans in to give you a kiss, surprising you. He hooks his arm around you, holding you to him as he deepens the gesture. You push on his chest until he finally relents.

"Andy," you gasp.

"What? I can't help myself. You look... good," he grins.

"Don't lie," you roll your eyes.

He chuckles, "something about your cynicism is really sexy."

"Okay, now you're being a jerk."

He tilts his head and turns to stand beside you. You fall back into step as you give a cautious glance up and down the street. Who would even care? Lloyd isn't around and even if he was, he didn't chat up the neighbourhood.

You head down towards the park. As you get to the bench, you grab Andy and sit at the outskirts of the grass. You brace your lower back and grunt as he holds onto the stroller and kicks down he brakes.

"You okay?"

"Bad back," you hiss as you lean against the metal backing, "been like this for years."

"Old football injury?" He kids.

"You're funny," you sniff.

"I try," he rolls the stroller back and forth, soothing the baby. "So..."

"So..." you look off towards the playground where parents watch their children scream and run around.

"When do you think you could... sneak out?" He asks, fingers tapping above his knee.

"Um," you can't help a smile, cheeks hot, "when do you--" you stop yourself, "you know I can't... do much for at least another week and a half," you keep your voice low.

"Of course, I wasn't-- I hope you don't think--"

"I know, Andy," you bite your lip and look away, "let's not complicate this. Because it's already fucked up so let's just enjoy it while we can."

He nods and lowers his lashes, "yeah, I can do that. How about... I give you a massage tonight? Promise not to get handsy. Purely practical. Get those muscles loosened up."

You scoff, "I might be able to figure something out."

"I could always come to you," he suggests, leaning in to push his shoulder into you.

"We'll see," you look at the baby. She's fast asleep. Yeah, this isn't going to be easy.

🍑

Andy says goodbye at the corner. You don't need Dottie catching on or making any suggestions. You know at heart where her loyalties lie.

You come up to the house and nearly trip on the wheels of the stroller. You recognise the car in the driveway. Right, good timing.

As you walk along the pavement, the front door opens and Suzanne appears with a glint in her eye, "there you are."

"Suzanne," you greet her breathless, "how are you–"

"So when was I going to find out the baby was here?"

"Um, I've been…tied up."

"Of course you have but Lloyd didn't even mention it," she beams over at the baby, "aw, thank god she doesn't take after him."

"Right, well, I guess he isn't much into sharing his private business–"

"A baby is kinda a big deal. I thought at least he'd take time off."

You stare at her. You try not to show your irritation, "well, you know, he's always been a workaholic."

"Not fucking really. He took one job and cut contact a week ago. It's why I'm here. Thought the fuckwit might be laying low."

"Nope, not here. Just us."

"And Mama Hansen. Yeah, I met her. Just as unbearable as her son," she tuts, "I'll make sure to send his ass home once I find him."

You nod. You don't know how to respond. You're not sure how to lie when your tongue won't work. She watches you and her forehead creases between her brows.

"Alright," she pokes her tongue into her lower lip and clicks, "when's the last time you saw him?"

You just look back at her blankly. Her eyes darken and she grits her teeth. She rests her hand on her hip, shifting her blouse to reveal the butt of a handgun.

"Oh, I've been waiting for this day," she smirks, "Lloyd Hansen, you're fucking dead."

She spins on her heel and storms towards her car. You push the stroller after her, "wait, Suz," you plead, "he's not worth it."

"Yeah," she opens the door, "but you are. You just take care of the pookie bear," she faces you again and makes a face at the stroller, "and I'll send his sorry ass home. Hopefully in one piece."

[spacexfucker]

I hate having to do wound care all the time. My newest abscess finally opened up. It was right inside my (healed) csection scar. It's probably the second most painful one I've ever had. And it's right above one that still hasn't completely healed and likes to start up again every few weeks.

[salamandorange]

If the goal is just "get baby outside of body" then sure, that's a pretty simple process. Supposedly a skilled OB can do a "crash csection" in like 5 seconds.

I think the part that requires skill is like, not doing excess damage, not cutting the babby, not causing a deadly infection, putting things back together afterwards etc.

I don't have many moments of hubris but deep in my heart I genuinely believe I could perform cesarean surgery if I had to

[ayuvogue]

Ayu updated her instagram yesterday with a personal message about giving birth via C-section and living with the scars. The Image featured an English message shared from a motherhood account called MommysBundle, while her personal message was mostly in Japanese.

Transcript of the card:

I'm a csection mama. Epidural. Catheter. Stomach cut open. Organs pulled out. And a scar left behind to remind me how birthed my babies to safety.

My body didn't fail me.

It might not have been what planned, but it's my story. Csection still IS birth.

Ayu's message:

I’m a C-section mom🙋‍♀️ 気が気じゃない10ヶ月を過ごしたのちに、命懸けでこの世に新たな生命を誕生させる術に、どれが正しいとか間違いとか、楽だとか大変だとかない。 ましてやそれを他人がジャッジするなんて事が無い世の中になって欲しいなぁ。 私は自分のお腹の傷を愛おしく誇りに思う。

I'm a C-section mom 🙋‍♀️

After worrying about it for 10 months, there is no right or wrong, easy or difficult way to put your life on the line and bring new life into the world.

I want a world where no one can judge it.

I love and take pride in the wounds on my belly.

Ayu gave birth to her second child this past spring. She surprised fans by announcing the birth of her first--and her pregnancy--right after performing at COUNTDOWN LIVE 2019-2020. In response to the flurry of speculation that followed the announcement, she made another personal Instagram post where she called attention to her privilege in being able to bounce back so quickly for an arena show, and that this should not be the expectation put on all mothers.

[darklove9314-blog]

Major ACOSF Spoilers

Okay so I try to keep an objective opinion I really do and I try to keep user friendly when it comes to Rhys because I know people like him. But I’m going to be talking about the baby situation in ACOSF and yes I’ll be talking about all parties involved, I’m tagging this anti rhys, anti Feysand, and anti inner circle just to be safe, so if you see it in tags that are not this than it’s tumblr trying to start fights again and any rude commenters will be blocked.

First off let’s talk about madja because I feel like people forget that a medical professional neglected to tell Feyre (the mother of the child and the patient at the time) pivotal information about her and her child’s life. Correct me if I’m wrong but if a medical profession in real life did that they would get in trouble for not telling the patient first unless said patient was a minor. Which Feyre is not. Most doctors have to tell the mother the danger to her child’s life. No matter how hard the news may be to hear. Any good medical professional would. I don’t give a damn if Rhysand is her high lord, Feyre is her high lady and if the narrative stresses so much that Feyre is Rhys equal when it comes to the power balance of the court than Madja should have still told Feyre first.

Secondly Rhys. I’m tired of people making excuses for him. It’s the reason I’m an anti in the first place because the fandom/ the narrative refuses to hold him accountable for anything, Here’s the thing, besides Madja, he’s the one who should be held the most accountable. First off let’s get into the fact that he knew prior to the pregnancy that any child they could possibly have may endanger Feyre’s life, but he thought it was such a low chance at happening that he never bothered to tell her about it. And the vision that bone carver showed him may have also contributed to this, However, wasn’t it revealed on the second book that the bone carver could twist the truth, like the fae can’t outright lie, but they don’t have to tell the whole truth either. Like there’s plot holes with the bone carver all together but thats a discussion for another time. But even if he assumed there was a small chance, he should have still told her. In case you know they had more children in the future than if she still decided to get pregnant than it would be her choice and she would have all the information prior. He also told a medical professional that she should keep Feyre’s medical information away from her even though he’s always stressed how important Feyre having a choice is to him. Yet he takes a choice about her autonomy and her child away from her. There’s a reason why when Feyre finds out the truth about her son, she reasonably upset that Rhys didn’t tell her. Also these two have a pact together that if one of them dies they’ll leave this world together. So if you think there was a threat to both their lives he would not only tell her, but tell the inner circle about it too, I mean they literally waited until the last moment to tell anyone about it which was a poor choice to say the least. Like if both of them die and their son survives than who would raise their son?? No one knows. Also if the reason Nyx has wings in the first place was because Feyre was in her illyrian form wouldn’t you just you know not have sex when she’s in her illyrian form in the first place.... and bringing it back. You’re telling me that she couldn’t shift to her illyrian form, from my understanding both situations are equally as dangerous so wouldn’t you pick the one that had the highest survival rate??? I- what?? Also you’re telling me that you can stitch Cassian back up with an open chest would but a csection is near impossible. How?? Also let’s not forget that when Feyre reasonable confronts him about keeping information about their sons life away from her, he deflects blame from himself and places it on Nesta, shit like this is why I fucking despise Rhys. Like sure dude, you’re the one who kept all this information from YOUR mate/ Your equal, but let’s blame Nesta yet again because accountability on your part always seems to be too much for you...Like I get the irrational anger, but still it’s not a fucking excuse for why you shouldn’t be held responsible for your actions. And then he decided to tell Cassian to get Nesta put of his court before he killed her. So you’re going to put added stress on your pregnant mate by threatening to kill her sister. 🙄🙄🙄 Like I can’t with how high his head is stuck in his ass, Like hold yourself accountable and apologize to Feyre about keeping that shit from her, because the one she’s probably the most pissed ah is Rhysand. You know the father of her child, The person who knew the information first, neglected to tell her, and told everyone not to tell her and his reaction makes me think that he never even intended to tell her in the first place, which is not what you do with someone who you find your equal. And this post is getting too long but I’ll make a part 2 to this because I’m not done talking about this.

[meg91596]

Life, and Love is not Simple

Chapter 2: Suprises and Happiness

It has been three months since Scout’s incident and I’m still shocked that a 19 year old could do that to an infant. Amelia is terrified to leave Scout and Chris with a sitter unless it is her brother, Maggie, and my parents. She won’t go out unless we know someone who won’t hurt our boys and our two puppies Stella and Nuggie. Those dogs have been protecting Scout since we got them and they let us know when he is awake and crying. I think Nuggie should be trained to be a service dog for Chris who is traumatized by what happened to his brother. I think Amelia is too. She is also 8 months pregnant with our baby that we still don’t know the gender to so it’s either Ariel Elizabeth, or Cooper James. We decided that Ariel Elizabeth sounded better than Ariel Grace.

“Honey, I think It's time.” Amelia said. “Are you sure? Remember you did this with Scout.” I said. “Well I'm having contractions every 5 minutes lets go in case these are real ones which I know they are.” Amelia said. “Okay what about Chris and Scout? And it isn't a little too early, you're only 34 weeks” I said. “Bring them with us, let's go now.” Amelia said doubled over in pain. “Okay I’ll get Scout in his carseat.” I said. “Link what is wrong with mommy is the baby coming?” Chris asked. “Yes, so we have to go to the hospital.” I said. “Okay I’ll get the diaper bag, and stroller for Scout.” Chris said. “Thank You Chris you are a good big brother to Scout and the new baby already.” Amelia said. “Mommy do you think the baby is coming or do you think it’s like Scout when you thought he was coming and yet he wasn’t ready just yet.” Chris asked. “Well we won’t know till Aunt Jo assesses mommy.” I said.

We got to the hospital around 5:30pm. Chris was getting hungry so he decided that he would take the Scout in his stroller to the cafeteria while Amelia and I went to see if the baby was coming. We waited for a half and hour as Jo was in surgery delivering a baby. Jo was originally going to go home with Luna but she stayed to find out what was going on. Amelia was right the baby was coming. She wasn't looking forward to the delivery part again, especially so close to Chris’ birthday which is in the morning. With the baby coming we ended up rescheduling Chris’ birthday which he was very understanding of. He’s a good kid, even though he has a hard time in school due to his developmental delays doesn’t defy him.

“Scout would you like a mushed up pizza I had the nurses blend up a pizza for you.” Chris said to his little brother. “Yes Pizza.” Scout said. “You are a good big brother when the baby comes would you like to stay and Auntie Meredith can watch Scout so you have the privilege of naming the baby?” Amelia asked. “Really Mommy?” Chris asked. “Yes Chris you are going to be 10 in a few hours and you can have the privilege of being in the room.” Amelia said. “Link I want to do this at home can we do this at home?” Amelia said. “I’m Sorry Amelia but the babies are still breech and I want you here and if you have to have a Csection which you might if these babies don't progress in the next hour I’m sorry this is the only way to get the babies safely out.” Jo said. “Well Chris you might not get to see the baby born after all.” I said. “It's okay. I can go spend time in the observation area with Scout, Auntie Meredith, Uncle Derek. I think Uncle Derek is doing a really cool removal of a tumor in a back.” Chris said. “Yes he is, I was supposed to help him and so wasn’t daddy.” Amelia said.

I knew Amelia and I were preparing for this long surgery but unfortunately we aren’t going to be able to finish with our patient because Amelia went into labor and may have to have a C-Section. A half an hour had passed when Jo came into the room. Chris, and Scout were sleeping when she came to see if the baby had progressed. The baby had not progressed so she had to give us the most devastating news that our baby was likely not going to make it if Amelia chose a natural birth because the baby’s heart rate keeps dropping. She decided that It was best to have the surgery and that Amelia would have to go through Rehab after the baby is born just to ensure that she didn’t want more drugs. Jo didn’t want to have her put under general because of the danger that can come with that. Five minutes after the news we were in the operating room.

“We're having this baby.” Amelia said. “Yes we are, I'm looking forward to meeting the baby.” I said. “Me too lets just hope no complications are happening.” Amelia said. “Okay Amelia a little pressure, and baby A is out.” Jo said. “The baby is here, wait did you just say baby A?” I asked. “Yes there is more than one didn’t I tell you guys months ago?” Jo asked. “Not that we can recall.” I said. “Well surprise, here is baby B.” Jo said. “How are the babies Link?” Amelia asked. “Beautiful wait there is another coming.” Link said. “Perfect triplets, what are we going to do? We only planned for one, not three.” Amelia said. “I know we will work something out because we are great parenting Christopher, and Scout.” I said. “Poor Chris will have to share his birthday with the triplets.” Amelia said. “Here you go daddy baby A is ready to meet her family.” the Nurse said as she handed me a baby girl. “Elsa Mae is her name.” Amelia said. “Elsa Mae it is then. I said as the nurse brought the second baby over and it was another girl. “Madeline Elizabeth is her name. I decided that Charlotte wasn’t a perfect name for our baby.” Amelia said as Elsa, and Maddie were placed on her chest. “Here you go daddy.” the nurse said handing me a baby boy. “Cooper James is his name.” Amelia said.

Shortly after the triplets were born the nurse took them to the NICU because they were early but we were still shocked how we ended up with triplets Maddy and Elsa are identical twins and it turns out Cooper was just another egg that was released when Amelia got pregnant during our short separation time near Scout’s first birthday. We have five kids when it was only supposed to be three. When Amelia got back to her room Meredith, and Derek were there waiting on the news of whether the baby was okay. We had quite a surprise for them as Amelia said that they were beautiful.

“They? You are doing gender binary talk for the baby?” Derek asked. “No Elsa, Madeline, and Cooper are perfect.” Amelia said. “WHAT?” Derek asked. “We had triplets two girls and a boy.” I said. “Triplets wow so you have 5 kids after all now.” Derek said. “Hey I wasn't playing on it as we were only supposed to have one but I guess Maddie was hiding behind Elsa, and Cooper was higher up and Link and I never really paid much attention to the ultrasound as we were talking about either Chris or Scout.” Amelia said. “Well surprises are always good though even if it’s babies.” Meredith said. “Don’t worry we will get you things for babies.” Derek said before leaving the room with Meredith as Chris entered the room with Scout.

Chris was surprised by the news but he couldn’t wait to hold his siblings. When Maddie, Elsa, and Cooper came in the room Amelia started to hold Cooper when Scout started to fuss. I picked him up and brought him to Amelia where he met baby Cooper. Scout lit up and started patting Cooper like he was a puppy. We thought it was a good thing because we were nervous about how he would react considering he is still a baby not quite two years old yet. We were a happy family, and Chris was proud to share his birthday with the triplets.

[tales-of-a-seahorse]

My main goal is to really just work through my csection trauma. Because there's a chance I may end up having another csection anyway, I need to be able to do things like lay flat on my back without having a panic attack from the flashbacks. If I'm having flashbacks to my first csection while in my second one, I can only imagine the panic and trauma that will come out of it.

Now that I'm back on the good insurance I can go back to seeing the therapist I was seeing last year. I was making so much progress with him. Then I had to stop seeing him because his practice didn't take my crappy insurance. In the hopes of continuing your make progress I started seeing a new therapist. Their bio included a few things that sounded like it was going to be a super positive therapeutic relationship. But it was not. In fact, I think I back slid a bit. So my old therapist is definitely going to have his work cut out for him helping me dig through the crap the last one left me with.

[eldritch-hall-asylum]

we would love if you’d go into detail about one of the staff/children! just like the other anon said about going into detail about characters if you don’t have asks!

Sjshshe thanks.

Anyway, just gonna go off about Octavian for a bit bc the ideas I have for him are overflowing.

Anyway, despite being the second oldest out of the Windroe brothers, he is actually the tallest.

He worked out a lot when he was a teenager. It's why he's kinda hench now.

When he was sixteen, his mother's former friend wanted to get back at her husband for cheating on her. Octavian was the only one she could think of.

Ever since then, he has dealt with the consequences of that night.

He was born via csection. He was a big baby.

He dyed his hair red once. His father was not impressed.

He was definitely the rebellious child. Think Francis from Malcolm In The Middle for a good comparison.

Anyway, he is usually the one to pick their mother up from the airport when she visits.

[cieraspendulum]

Hi!!! I saw in a previous comment that you said that Kristen got a csection for their third child as well. I only knew she had one for the second baby. How do you know that? Is it just an assumption that you made? Byee :D

I did a reading. I am a pendulum.

If you’ve actually read any other posts on my blog, you should already know that.

“I only knew she had one for the second baby.”

Well, how do you “know” that? I’m not saying you’re incorrect, because my reading revealed the same. But, if you’re going to come to me and ask me how I “know” things, then I’m free to ask you how you “know” things.

[randommusingsmomma]

Come home and immediately forget I just had a major surgery. I just see so much that needs to be done before Veda comes home and I don't want to play catch up and do it all. I did hit up Target though to pick up a few esstenials for her that we did not have. ..... Thank you everyone​ for the well wishes and congratulations! 💗💗💗 If Veda passes her car seat test tomorrow she will be coming home Tuesday! I am so happy and blessed that she is doing so well for how early she was born.

[feralwifey]

I'm European. That sucks I'm sorry you had that experience. There are reasons to supplement, I did for a while, I also had a csection. At my hospital no one helped me to figure out how to breastfeed, no nurse or midwife (one of them was supposed to be a lactation consultant) was even bothered. They basically put my nipple into my babies mouth and then left, literally a second later she wad unlatched. They then gave her formula without me knowing, while I asked them to take her so I can take a shower. They only told me after. I know a few more mothers here who had the same experience.

I don't like how women pretend like a few moms telling them that breastfeeding is better than formula and that they should keep trying is somehow making them feel bad. The numbers are on their side, after three months the majority of mothers doesn't exclusively breastfeed anymore, yet I'm supposed to feel bad for disagreeing with that because of what exactly?

I hate the argument of mental health.... Maybe I'm harsh but it's an excuse.

I'm not even trying to blame mothers for this though, there's no support, formula is pushed as soon as the baby is born, of course they're using formula.

The amount of women that actually *can't* breastfeed is not as high as we pretend it is. Like I'm sorry but most just don't have lactation issues, most just didn't do it properly which again is because of a lack of support and education.

This needs to change. Yeah your baby will be fine getting formula, but it's not as good as breast milk is.

[thatannnn]

Addie was born this past Monday, the 17th. I’m not sure why I haven’t shared on here. I think now that’s she’s real I just want to keep her all to myself. Especially with how many extreme blogs there are on this site in regards to children and pregnancy fetishes.

She was born at 37weeks, on the 17th at 744pm, weighed 6.6lbs, and was 20.5in long.

My water broke at 345am on the day I was supposed to go into the hospital to be induced 😂. I labored until about 7pm, at that point it was decided I needed a csection. I had made it to 7cm dilated but after 5 hours at 7 I had yet to progress any further and we we’re starting to worry. It was traumatic and horrifying and everytime I think of it I get sick. I had a panick attack through the entire procedure. I was crying and shaking and throwing up and had zero control of myself. I just remember the sensation of them cutting through layer after layer and Chris whispering in my ear that he loved me and she would be here soon. I held on until they brought her around the table to see me, I touched her cheek and immediately passed out. The next thing I knew I was waking up in post op shaking like I was having seizures and had no idea what was happening. During the hour that followed chris let me know what I’d missed, which included that our sweet girl was pulled out and wasn’t breathing. After rubbing her down and messing with her a bit she finally took her first breath and let out a cry. That was such a scary realization, we both heard that first cry and thought how beautiful but little it sounded, and knowing seconds before that something had been wrong was so hard to hear. Once my shaking had stopped I was told I could leave post op and go pick up my daughter from the nursery. Holding her for the first time was so amazing. She was nothing like I had expected. But she’s beautiful you guys, nothing like I could have ever imagined lol. And she’s An absolute dream baby. She’s soooo much more than I expected. And the love I have for her and her father has been hitting me like a fucking train lately. I’m struggling with all the leftover mommy hormones so bad. Every night I cry my heart out because I cannot believe they are mine and I’m absolutely terrified to lose them or fail them. I will literally run my hand through her soft baby hair and burst into tears because I love it so much, or I’ll look at my phones lock screen and burst into tears because the picture of her holding her head up to look at him and him smiling so big at her. Basically I was just so unprepared to love so much 😂

[independentwanderer90]

While the pandemic was occurring at the hospital my manager took it upon Herself to protect me and my baby by putting me as a screener at a door instead of seeing patients. This was incredibly thoughtful and kind of her, yet incredibly boring for me. I haven't seen a patient since the beginning of March.

BUT The second to last week of May it was determine my baby was breech so the last week of May I had a scheduled C section and our beautiful baby girl was born. Was the Csection what I wanted? no. I had wanted a totally natural childbirth. Was I disappointed and cry and freak out afraid I was going to be a statistic and die during survery when I found out. Yes I totally did. But by the time the csection occurred I had had a week to work it out in my head and was quite happy with how it went. Recovery went well, only took a few pain pills For breakthrough pain the first couple of days then Tylenol and Motrin were enough.And all moms say this but by baby is the most beautiful thing in the world.

[brownfrogs]

when the twins were born, did jesse go through a labor and delivery? or did he opt for a csection? either way hed be super proud theyre both alright, and i think would even want to cuddle the first before the second is even out!

He went through a labor and delivery! He was afraid of doing a C-section because it would have worsen all the poorly constructed internal mechanisms holding his stomach together (It happened round the time he lost his arm. A backalley doctor forcefully put him back together, its why hes got ports and uses tubes). Luckily being friends with a doctor means you get the best painkillers and an epidural that knocks you out pretty good. He was awake enough to hold both of them in his arms when they came out though, which is the most important thing!

I’ve been writing all of this in a fic (theres only like 3 trans Jesse preg fics and two are unfinished ;_;) but I’m not a great writer so idk if I’ll ever post it. But just know, I have thought about this alot!!!

[mislovet2020]

A month ago, during my labor, doctors and nurses were in panic. First, because one of their deceased patients eventually tested covid positive and many of them had an exposure. Second, because of me.

They were not telling me what was happening, they were just keep on asking me if I can still breathe, if my vision is clear, if I can feel any chest pain, how much pain do I feel, etc. Unfortunately, I was too weak to answer their questions and I can hear them talking with my OB through phone call "wala naman po siyang iniinda, dra." They did not know that I was praying in my mind "Lord di ko na po kaya pero gusto kong kayanin ko." I honestly thought I was going to collapse into seizure, or worse, die.

Hours passed and my hypertension did not improve and I had a high fever. My cervix remained at 2cm dilation. They were already planning for csection procedure, but because of my situation, I can hear them arguing if they need to call my cardiologist before proceeding. I begged God in prayer, Lord please, miracle. After that prayer, miracles happened.

They checked my opening and from 2cm, it became 6cm, then 8cm, all within minutes. Since my baby was too small, at 8cm his head started crowning. They immediately brought me to the delivery room. At this time, my vision was too blurred. I can still hear voices but in echo. I told myself, I need to push this baby out fast and make my sister proud of me. And yes, I pushed the baby out in less than 15 minutes. I did not hear his cry and I can no longer see his face.

While I was still in the delivery room, I heard the conversation of my OB with the resident doctor who monitored me during labor. "Dra., oligo case yan diba" "oo" "dra., bago ko i practice yan ng push may pumutok na panubigan, ang daming tubig na lumabas" "ha eh kaya nga yan na induce kasi zero na tubig niyan kahapon pa, pano nangyare yun"

I smiled and prayed "Lord thank you for miracles"