#seblaine through the years

[azaharinflames]

I fell into the deepest depression I’ve had for years when Buck and Tommy broke up. I just wanted to cry so badly but decades of trauma kept me from doing that. Add on that Trump had just been re-elected, and add in that my Dad had been admitted to hospital with a collapsed lung it just took me down.

I’ve mostly gotten over it. I spent 24 hours writing my idea of a fix it fic (won’t happen on show cause they all suck but it was cathartic). I can’t remember what caused my breakdown but I did end up crying. My eyes felt less puffy after as well.

I understand that it’s a fake relationship in a fake show but something about it spoke to me. And just watch it end hurt me worse. The last time I had actually cried hard was in 2021 when my mother-in-law passed away from COVID. So why did this stupid relationship affect me so much. I feel embarrassed for reacting this badly. I don’t even like to talk to my partner about it because he wouldn’t understand.

Hi, Nonnie! Thank you for your ask.

I am so, so sorry to read that. Listen - it's not stupid. It's not embarrassing So don't think your feelings surrounding it and your reaction to any of it is that, because I promise you: nothing about it should make you feel embarrassed.

Here is the thing: Art, in whatever form, is one of the things that move people the most, historically*. Art is a universal language that doesn't simply exist in a painting or a sculpture but in a myriad of different forms that, especially in the last few decades, have expanded immensely. Art can be a channel for our emotions, can be our choice of escapism, can be the thing we see ourselves reflected in and thus, the thing that we connect to because, hey - that's us. And if we see 'us' overcoming on screen, surely we can overcome in real life, right? That's one of the reasons why representation is so damn important.

Yeah, it was a relationship. But it shouldn't be reduced to just that. Instead of dismissing our feelings by making our issue seem nonsensical and small, let's think - my issue was because a piece of Art I connected to deeply was dealt with in a damaging way. And that carries consequences.

There is also the fact that, I think, for a lot of us, it was more than the break-up. The biggest thing to take into context was the election because it is just a matter of fact that we needed a win so bad that week, and we got the opposite of that. To get a bit more personal, I was already dealing with my town being hit with the worst natural disaster in my country this century, still had to hear from some of my friends to know if they were okay or even alive (fortunately, they're all fine), and I was seeing only tragedy whenever I went online. So this happening hit me really hard as well - but, like you, it was one of the things. Still, I spent three days barely able to take a bite and barely able to sleep, and a week with really high anxiety.

And sure, I did feel silly, but if I do love one thing, I sure do love introspection, I reached the aforementioned conclusion and reflection on Art (let me know if it helped or is a bunch of bs tho).

I think what you're doing, writing a fix-it fic, is amazing! You're channeling your feelings through Art, and I am sure it does feel very cathartic. I haven't written for 911 yet (definitely want to, I have some ideas that could work), but I have some years of writing for Marvel and Seblaine (Glee) on my back, so trust me when I say this is the better choice you could do - channel your feelings through your Art, and you will end up with something beautiful, I'm sure of it.

Sorry this was too long, but I'm here if you (or anyone else) needs to rant, vent, or discuss something (911 or whatever, something else is valid as well)

Take care, Nonnie <3 and all of you as well <3

*I have a bachelor's on this, please trust me on it lmao

[seblaineworld]

Hey, Seblainers! Hellooooo, everyone else!

Thank you to everyone who voted for the 9 themes for 10 Days Of Seblaine 2024! The poll is now closed, and as you can see above, our top 9 themes are very exciting! Following being run through a Randomiser, the themes by day are as follows:

Monday 26th August: Texting/Phone Calls

Tuesday 27th August: Second Chances/Trying Again

Wednesday 28th August: Songfic *choose one song as the theme for your submission*

Thursday 29th August: Free Day

Friday 30th August: I Know You...

Saturday 31st August: Freaky Friday *your own interpretation*

Sunday 1st September: Confessions/In Vino Veritas

Monday 2nd September: Lost Letters

Tuesday 3rd September: Pride/Gay Rights Activism

Wednesday 4th September: 5/10 Years Later

Remember, on the free day, you can write about/create for any theme you like, so if you're disappointed that your favourite theme didn't make the top 9, you have the opportunity to use it on Thursday 29th August!

I'm really looking forward to seeing what our insanely talented Seblainers come up with for 10 Days Of Seblaine 2024 - especially since we have some themes that have never been included or explored before, and will be back very soon with a full rundown of the rules. As always, if you have any questions in the meantime, just drop me an Ask or send me a message!

Ail 💜

[akfanficlove]

Remember THAT scene in the "Wicked"-movie? The "Dancing Through Life/Jonathan Bailey Is So Hot"-library scene? Well, what if the Prince of Winkie-Country was named Sebastian Smythe and the object of his desires was a certain curly-haired enigma named Blaine Anderson who just wants to study in peace, Oz-damnit!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/61940791

Written for the Seblaine christmas/ New Year's-Challenge @seblaineworld

[daisyishedwig]

Writing meme about me!

@lusthurts tagged me over two weeks ago but I have been so busy with work I haven't had a chance to answer it.

How did you get into writing fanfiction?

Unofficially I just liked messing around with the characters in the media I consumed, I've always had a habit of pausing in my watching or reading to daydream and theorize about what could happen, or maybe just what my brain wished would happen and so at a very young age I started writing those ideas down.

At some point when I was twelve or so I discovered FF.Net through the Supernatural fandom, I don't remember exactly how. But that was when I went from writing Stargate and Inuyasha fanfiction purely for myself and started writing and publishing Supernatural fanfiction. I really love the weekly 100 word drabble challenges that fandom had back in the day and most of my oldest surviving fic are for those prompts as most of my other stuff I've deleted over the years.

2. How many fandoms have you written in?

So Glee is obviously my most prolific, and then Supernatural would be just behind that. In the past I've also written for Stargate, Inuyasha, Naruto, Buffy, Harry Potter, The Vampire Diaries, Doctor Who, and Takin' Over the Asylum, but most of those have been deleted and lost over the years. I do have unpublished WIPs for Stranger Things, OMGcheckplease, The Real O'Neals, Captive Prince, Magnus Archives, Hatchetfield, and probably more, no idea if any of those will actually see the light of day though.

3. How many years have you been writing fanfiction?

I've been publishing it for about fifteen years but writing it for probably twenty which is an insane number to type out. Like I know I've been writing for pretty much my whole life but seeing it in words puts it in a new perspective. But yeah, my earliest posted work is from 2009.

4. Do you read or write more fanfiction?

It depends on the era? Currently I've been writing more fic than reading, purely because I've been focused on reading so many regular books at the moment (my roommate and I are in a race to read the most books this year, and I'm currently winning, but the rules are that I can't count anything that isn't already on StoryGraph and most of the fics I read are not).

5. What is one way you've improved as a writer?

I think my ability to write banter has improved a lot. I've been writing for so long that everything has improved, but the most noticeable to me is my dialogue, especially when it's witty. I used to struggle so hard with that even though I loved good banter in stories. It's part of why I used to not write Kurtbastian, because banter is so integral to their relationship, but I've been getting more and more comfortable with it .

6. What's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

I'm going to ditto Lusthurts Ohio geography, which is especially frustrating considering how much Glee itself ignores Ohio geography so there's this line of making it not sound completely stupid while also remaining true to Glee's own absolute disregard for it. Also songs and movies that came out in 2012 specifically since I write a lot of stuff set in season 4 of Glee and I try to keep the media I reference contemporary.

7. What's your favorite type of comment to receive on your work?

I love all comments! But if I had to chose my favorites it's probably anytime that I drop subtle hints or foreshadow something and people pick it up and point it out, either on the original read through or during a reread. I also love when people point out symbolism I didn't intend or realize I was making.

8. What's the most fringe trope/topic you write about?

Idk I kinda write a lot of infidelity and toxic relationship stuff. Seblaine is the main ship I write for nowadays, and the nature of their relationship lends itself to a lot of infidelity in their process of getting together. I also just love writing angst, so even when I'm writing established relationships, they end up being sort of toxic throughout especially given the traits of both characters. I just find it more fun and probable to write a slightly toxic relationship than a 100% healthy one.

(I did not intend to just leave Lusthurts answer for this one, but also, ditto. I love the messy toxic relationships, they've always intrigued me and they're so fun to sink your teeth into. I also love writing a lot of polyamory, which idk how fringe it is nowadays but I've been trying to breakaway from the throuple mold and branch out into more interesting, complex, and realistic polycules)

9. What is the hardest type of story for you to write?

I tend to stick very much to the emotional side of things, so stories that get too physical or actiony are the ones I struggle with. Since I've been reading more I've been getting better but it's still not great.

10. What is the easiest type?

Hurt no comfort, lol. Like I do enjoy writing the comfort but sometimes my brain gets hung up on it not being realistic, things getting better too quickly, things like that. But it gets less anxious about just having the angst, even with no happy ending.

11. Where do you do your writing? What platform? When?

I tend to write on my couch, I do like going to the library down the road when I really want to focus, but usually I just write in my living room. I usually just write to google drive, I'm interested in alternatives but I've been using google since jr high so I'm just very used to it and it has so many years of documents. And I just write whenever, but usually in the evening after work, but really whenever I have time.

12. What is something you've been too nervous/intimidated to write, but would love to write one day?

I love ensemble fics and all the distinct personalities of the different characters and I would love to write one that focuses on many characters one day. I'm kind of trying that with my Season 2 AU but that still mostly focuses on Kurt, Blaine, Sebastian, and Sam, which is exactly who most of my fics focus on, so I'm not sure if it will fit full ensemble status by the time I'm done.

13. What made you choose your username?

So Daisy is an old nickname of Darren Criss' (he's talked about it in a few interviews, how he was studying abroad in Italy and when you say his initials in an Italian accent it sounds like Daisy) and when he was in Hedwig and the Angry Inch the username DarrenisHedwig was already taken but I thought DaisyisHedwig would be fun and I've been it ever since.

Oh boy, I'm going to tag @kurtsascot, @calsvoid, @fallevs, @cryscendo

@bitbybitwrites, @annepi-blog, @sperrywink, and @backslashdelta

[lusthurts]

I'm a bit late, but 19 and 21 for the ask game? :))

never too late ;) 2024 in review ask game for reference

19) Share your favorite piece of dialogue

ugh I have so many, I really think comedic dialogue is something I've worked on a lot this year that I've gotten a lot better at, so I'm gonna share two from the first chapter of Fragile Little Flames that I'm really proud of

Nick leans back on his elbows, now rolling the tennis ball across his thighs. He’s grinning so wide that his braces flash in the dim dorm light. “I’ve never met anyone gay before. Or, bi. Sorry. Do your parents know?” Jeff shrugs. “No, but I think they’d be fine with it. They voted for Obama.” Nick’s eyes widen, and he stops moving the tennis ball to stare at Jeff. “Obama is gay?” Jeff stares at him, waiting for the punchline. But Nick’s face remains earnest, his mouth slightly open as if he’s genuinely trying to comprehend some newfound revelation. “Are you serious?” Jeff asks. Nick blinks. “What? You said they’d be fine with it because they voted for Obama, so I thought…” “No! Obama’s not gay!” Jeff interrupts, laughing so hard he has to clutch his stomach. Nick looks relieved, but only for a second, “Well, how was I supposed to know? You’re the one who brought him up!”

AND also this one lol, goofy niff dialogue is my new favorite thing

Jeff rolls his eyes. “So, Florida?” Nick sighs. “Can’t. My parents are dragging me to Europe.” “You’ll miss me though,” Jeff jokes, although he wonders if it’s true. He certainly missed Nick when he returned home for Thanksgiving, and he’s sure he’ll miss him again next week when he’s back home with his family for Christmas. “And we have a pool. You won’t even have to go in the ocean since I know you’re afraid of it.” “Okay, clearly you’ve never seen Jaws,” Nick says with an eye roll. “Trust me, I’d much rather be there with you than be locked on a plane for six hours while my dad talks about the Cold War. I guarantee the war wasn’t as cold as our room, by the way.” “That’s not…” Jeff starts, but his voice trails off. “I should probably proofread that essay for you before you turn it in.”

21) What's something that surprised you while you were working on a fic? Did it change the story?

I'm honestly still surprised by how much I enjoy writing Niff. Clearly they are the only thing on my mind since I'm answering both prompts with them but like,, when I was writing How Bright We Burn they were very much an afterthought that functioned solely as a parallel to Seblaine. And shockingly, the thing that really made me fall in love with them as a ship was figuring out Jeff's character not through Nick but through his friendship with Sebastian. I started writing some of the scenes from Jeff's POV so I could figure out what exactly what going on behind the scenes that Blaine wasn't seeing and it was like insane realization after insane realization about their relationship. It totally changed the way I write both those characters, as well as Jeff's friendship with Blaine, his friendship with Sebastian, and how all four of those characters' relationships are so intertwined. And it led to me writing not just one chapter from Jeff's POV but 8 (lowkey I think it's gonna be more like 12 oops)

[love-that-we-were-in]

Build Callouses

Not quite a comeback fic, not quite a drabble but a secret third option (wordvomit)!! If you've ever read my Seblaine stuff before you'll know I love soulmate aus so i really had to take this chance to return. But I hope you at least enjoy it for what is is!!

@seblaineworld

Freckles. That’s what they are. This tiny, sparkling smattering of multicolour freckles across the bridge of his nose. They’re not the most noticeable, nothing like the thick scar that splits Jeff’s left eyebrow into two (a childhood incident of Nick’s that landed him in the emergency room), but it’s something. Some characteristic that ties him to his future. A characteristic that damn near everyone apparently seems to have if he’s being honest. 

Even Kurt, who Blaine tried his best with, has freckles. Granted, they reside more on his cheekbones, and they only come out when the sun is blinding, but they’re still freckles that other people can see. They’re just not super distinguishable is what he’s trying to say. In a world where One Thing is supposed to help you find your soulmate, they’re actually kind of shit. Almost enough to give up searching altogether. 

However, even in the face of unlikeliness, of the improbable (veering on impossible if he’s being truly honest) it’s not quite enough to stop Blaine being hopeful that one day it’ll happen. Someone with freckles is going to walk through the door and he’s going to recognise the pattern in the shades of brown that normal people have like they’re his own. 

(He knows he might recognise his soulmark on them. It’s this long, thin scar stretching from the crease of his elbow to an inch above his wrist - a play fight with Cooper turned rough when the dog got involved - and it’s a whole lot easier to spot in vivid multicolour, he assumes.)

He’s got years ahead of him though, teenage angst and a college degree to power through. There’s heaps of time, is what his mother tells him when he rings her at 8pm wondering why he got so unlucky. Not everyone meets their soulmate in high school, or college, or even the first few years of being a real adult. It happens when the universe is ready, is what his therapist tells him when he gets pensive over the topic. 

So he holds onto that. Forever is relative, no matter what way society wants to spin it. Regardless of everything, forever is a really long time, and he’ll get to experience Their forever. Sharing forever is what counts, is what he tells himself as he counts the freckles in his reflection every night while brushing his teeth.

*

Long sleeves are what Sebastian favours. He always has, since turning 7, when he woke up to a scar on his right arm. It takes up too much space. It’s too bright. He doesn’t like to look at it. There’s no guessing what it is, not when there’s information leaflets on soulmarks on every college campus within a 50 mile radius, but he can ignore it. Hide it away. Dark clothes with long sleeves are where he’s most comfortable. 

Inherently, he has no personal issue with the idea of soulmates. In some ways, it might be nice - the belief that destiny has something incredible in store for you. To him, and his mother, they’re restrictive. Sebastian is young, at the point in his life where figuring out who he is should be prioritised over who he’s meant to be with. And his mother is jaded, sick of life of being told what to do by archaic ideas of romance. She’s a free spirit and he’s happy to walk at a leisurely pace behind her. 

Once, during a vacation, he’d considered the moment it happens. What it would be like. How he would react. Under the stars in Greece, shoes dusted with sand, he’d rolled the sleeve of his top to his elbow, twisted it so the moonlight bounced off the colours and made them glow. Asked himself what he’d even see if he met his soulmate, since he was lacking in scars and has no birthmark that he can find. 

Maybe, he’d though as he climbed the stairs to his hotel room, it would be so unnoticeable that he’d miss it completely. Bypass his soulmate and never know what forever could be. It was gone in the morning, back to pretending he was ignorant to fate, but it lingered in the Grecian air when he went back years later. 

[berrywarbler]

just one time (seblaine)

Summary: After a run-in with Sebastian Smythe at Dalton's ten-year reunion, Blaine is uncertain where they stand in terms of their relationship. (Inspired by Electric Touch by Taylor Swift) Word Count: 4k+ Notes: hi hello this is my apology to the seblaine fandom for the unspeakable xo

His grip tightens on the steering wheel in front of him and his golden eyes glance down to his phone, the GPS lit up in the darkness of his car. He doesn’t have much further to drive and the closer he gets to Columbus, the more he can feel his nerves thrumming through his entire body. Inhaling slowly, he exhales even slower. “Relax,” he scolds himself, moving his eyes to the rearview mirror. The headlights from the car behind him lights his face just enough to see his reflection. “It’s just Sebastian .” Except, it’s not just Sebastian anymore. Not since the last time they saw either other. This wasn’t just anything. This was something . He doesn’t know what exactly but he knows it’s unlike anything he’s ever experienced before in his life. 

Quickly checking over his shoulder, he clicks on his blinker to avoid an exit-only lane. In the millisecond it takes for his eyes to blink he can see the look on Sebastian’s face as he leans in closer, the electric current transferring from Sebastian’s fingertips to the underlayer of his skin. It feels just as fresh as that night and it causes him to inhale sharply. 

Read More

[jammie3132]

Fandom: Glee Pairing: Blaine Anderson & Sebastian Smythe Story Summary: After a fight with Kurt, Blaine goes running back to Ohio…again! The problem is he doesn’t have Dalton to run back to. Chapter 1 Title: Are You Happy? Chapter 1 Summary: Blaine is back in Ohio after a fight with Kurt. His friends are determined to not let him fall back into old patterns Notes: 10 Days of Seblaine Week 2023 Day 3: Dalton

Canon through Season 6 with exception of 5 year time jump.

❤️🎉HAPPY ANNIVERSARY EVERYONE 🎉❤️

Ladies and gentlemen, we are beginning our approach. Please prepare for landing. Welcome to Columbus. It is currently 62 degrees…

Blaine put his tray table up and his laptop in his carry on. This was NOT the trip he expected to be taking this week.

“Kurt! I’m home! You’ll never guess…what’s going on?”

“Isabelle got me a showing for my accessories at Paris Fashion Week! Can you believe it?”

“Um…isn’t Paris Fashion Week next week? Our anniversary is next week. We’re going to Hawaii on the Honey…the trip we postponed last year because Isabelle’s assistant got the flu and she insisted she’d never survive Paris Fashion Week without you. And the year before that because... You know, I can't remember what excuse you used that time."

“Oh, yeah. I forgot. But Blaine, this time it’s for our future. It's not the same.”

“Yes, yes, it is.”

“Come with me. We can enjoy the city during our down time. Support me like I supported you at the Grammys.”

“You didn’t go. You decided it wasn't worth missing your classes the next day because my category wasn’t televised.”

“Not this again. It was 3 months ago and you didn’t win. Get over it.”

“You did not just say that.”

“Look, I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings. And I’m sorry I’m postponing our vacation again. I’m not sorry I’m going to Paris. Stop being so difficult.”

“Just go. I’ll go back to Ohio for the Groundbreaking Ceremony at Dalton. I was disappointed when I found out we couldn’t attend because we’d be in Hawaii. Since that’s no longer an issue…”

“Oh, hell no! I saw Sebastian Smythe’s name on the list of committee members. I’m not letting you go anywhere near that asshole without me.”

“Uh…excuse me. You’re forbidding, literally forbidding, me from going to Dalton’s Groundbreaking?"

"That's not what I meant."

"But it was what you said. You know how important Dalton was to me. I was devastated...”

“How important could Dalton have been if you left just because I asked you to?”

“Fuck you!”

“Blaine, don't…where are you going?”

“Ohio!”

*SLAM*

Three hours later Blaine finally relaxed when a friendly face opened his door and gave him a hug. “Get in here” Sam said, pulling him into his apartment. “Did you leave your luggage in the rental?”

“Nope. In my dramatic exit I only grabbed my school bag.”

“Good thing I’ve still got the stuff you forgot the last time you were here. For once my procrastination paid off.”

“You didn’t procrastinate, you've been busy. I remember how crazy it was preparing the Warblers for Sectionals. The New Directions are trying to three-peat at Nationals in a few weeks…big difference. I feel like an ass taking up your time, but I just couldn’t face my mom’s interrogation. At least not tonight. I mean it would be stupid if I didn’t stay with her when I go to Dalton.”

“But…”

“If you say one word about how I used to make that drive all the time, I’ll tell your new girlfriend about the time Sue was hypnotizing you and…”

“Hey! I had no control over what I was doing! And it’s not fair to use that stuff against me when I don’t remember any of it.”

“Except sleeping with Rachel.”

“I wasn’t hypnotized for that” Sam told him with an added wink.

Blaine’s phone went off (his mother not husband) so Sam went to his hall closet and brought out the box he’d stored there. Since Pam was on a tangent, it gave him time to go to the kitchen and make some calls of his own. He had a plan for his best friend and wanted to confirm the pieces were in place.

When he returned with drinks, Blaine was laying back on the couch rubbing his temples. Pam had that effect on people. “You’re going to have to go to Target for underwear and stuff like that. I’ve got a toothbrush…”

“Sam, what aren’t you telling me?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You got kind of defensive when I mentioned your new girlfriend.”

“I know” Sam sighed as he rejoined Blaine on his couch. “It’s just, I’ve been trying to find a way to tell you this. My girlfriend already knows about everything that happened with Sue, and Rachel.”

“Ok? Why is it so hard to tell me you told your girlfriend?”

“I didn’t have to tell her. I’m dating Kitty.”

Did not see that coming! “Kitty? Kitty Wilde?”

“Yes, and we have a date tonight. So do you.”

“You realize I’m still married, no matter how pissed I am at Kurt.”

“Not like that. I called a friend and he’s taking you to Scandals to get drunk and forget how big a jerk your husband is.”

“Who did you call?”

“It’s a surprise. You have time for a shower and nap. After you called, I went to the store and got a bunch of your favorite Kurt did something stupid comfort food. Please eat something before you go to Scandals so you don’t get drunk on your second beer.”

Blaine wanted to give a snarky comeback but didn’t because Sam was right. “Thanks, Blond Chameleon.”

“Anytime NightBird.”

Because he wasn’t getting picked up until later in the evening, Blaine had time to run to Target. There was also enough time to visit with Kitty before she and Sam left on their date. He had to admit he was having a little trouble getting past the whole former football coach/cheerleader thing. It was only 3 years ago.

But if they wanted to relive that time in private…

Oh God, now it’s worse.

At 9PM on the dot the doorbell rang. He was not prepared for who was standing in front of him. “David? What are you doing here?”

“Taking you to Scandals? “Ready?”

Dave Karofsky? Sam called the guy he broke up with and then married Kurt a week later? Sending them to the place where they reconnected after he returned to Ohio when Kurt ended their engagement? Well, if Dave is here, he must be fine with it.

“Sure, just let me get my phone.”

“No phone. You’re going to drink and talk to me and the others. No checking your phone every 10 minutes to see if Kurt called. Sam was very specific with his directions but I’m pretty sure Kitty was the actual mastermind.”

“Sam and Kitty…I wouldn’t check my phone…” Then it dawned on him. “Did you say others? Who?”

“No idea. Let’s go. I don’t want to give up any more of my time because you’re overthinking what’s going on.”

Blaine shook his head and chuckled. This was nice. “You know me so well.”

It was all small talk until they were settled in a back booth at Scandals and each halfway through their first beer. “Do you remember what you promised me when you came over to tell me you’d married Kurt?”

“David, I’m so sorry. You didn’t deserve any of that.”

“You’re right, I didn’t” Dave told him with a confidence Blaine didn’t remember. It looked good on him. “Now answer my question. Do you remember your promise?”

Oh yeah, he remembered. “To not lose myself in my relationship with Kurt again. To do what was right for me, even if Kurt threw a hissy fit. And I have, most of the time. Sometimes that’s not how marriage works.”

“And yet you’re sitting here with me and your husband is on his way to Paris. Weren’t you supposed to be in Hawaii for your Spring Break? On the honeymoon you never took? We both know that weekend in Rhode Island didn’t count.”

“How do you…Sam?” Dave nodded his response, not giving him a chance to go off topic, which they both knew Blaine would try. “When we had our fight, I couldn’t say the word honeymoon. I just reminded him it was our anniversary. It wouldn’t have made a difference. Kurt was going to Paris no matter what I said.”

“You still haven’t answered my question.”

Shit! He noticed. “No, but I’m getting better at it. At least I think I am, but he makes it so fucking hard!” Blaine stopped to finish his beer and motion to the waitress he wanted another. If those coming later were anything like Dave, he needed to get a good buzz going. “I was so happy when I got home but he didn’t give a chance to tell him my news!”

“You can tell me. I won’t tell anyone if you don’t want me to.”

Blaine thought about it, but not for long. The thought Kurt had to be the first one he told was gone. “Do you know about the song writing contest I won at NYU?”

“Who doesn’t? The prize was it would be recorded by a major artist and put on their next album. None of us expected Celine Dion or that the song would be nominated for Pop Song of the Year at the Grammys. By the way, you should have won.”

“Thanks.” Blaine tried to push out the memory of Kurt’s earlier comment but couldn’t. “Celine was asked to record a song for a movie, a big…big movie, but she hated what they sent her. She told the studio she’d do it, but she wanted me to write a new song.”

Dave rushed around the table and crushed him in a bear hug…maybe bear was a poor choice of words. “Oh my God! That’s huge! What’s the movie?”

“I shouldn’t say…in case things don’t work out.”

“Blaine…”

“Ok, it’s Deadpool 2.”

Dave pulled back, a blank expression on his face. “Are you shitting me? Seriously, are you shitting me? The first one is my favorite movie of all time!”

“I remember.”

“And Sam! He’s going to freak that you’re going to write a song for a comic book movie!”

“If they use it.”

Once again, Dave tightened his hold, this time even harder. “You are a Grammy nominated song writer and Celine fucking Dion asked you to write her a song for fucking Deadpool 2. Stop doubting yourself.”

“Ok, the walk down memory lane is over. Time for the male hobbit to forgo the sugar coating and get some tough love from Auntie Snixx.”

Dave whispered Good Luck before leaving. Blaine wasn’t sure if his abrupt exit was part of the plan, animosity toward one of the masterminds of his ambush wedding to Kurt or not wanting to piss off the girl who once told him she had razor blades in her hair.

Did it matter? Yeah, it did. Their time together made him realize how much he missed him. He’d like them to be friends again…if it wasn’t too weird for Dave.

His long awaited second beer arrived, but Santana declined anything stating she wouldn’t be there much longer. She then pulled out her phone and smiled a smile Blaine had seen enough to know it meant trouble. “What are you doing here Lopez?”

“In Ohio? Lord Tubbington needed an intervention for his latest addiction…Internet porn.”

Blaine didn’t question her explanation which for some reason made perfect sense. “I meant here…at Scandals.”

“Sammy called. He needed help getting in contact with the third ghost of Blaine Warblers past.”

“You are not a ghost from my past. I see you at least once a week.”

“Then Karofsky’s your past, I’m your present and the next person can be your future. Guess that makes you and your pissy mood Scrooge.” Santana took a deep breath and folded her hands on the table. “I’m only going to say this once and if you tell anyone, I’ll deny it…then cut off your balls.”

That was interesting. Interesting enough he prepared for what she was going to say by taking a big swig of beer. “Deal”

“I’m sorry.”

“Foooor?”

“I should’ve never let Britt talk me into the double wedding. She only remembered high school Klaine and then depressed Blaine who missed Kurt. She wasn’t here for the engagement and she definitely was around for toxic NYC Klaine. I was.”

For the second time since he arrived in Ohio, Blaine didn’t have a comeback because the person across from him was telling the truth. Was it progress to admit what they were saying were truths? “You didn’t have faith we’d make it?”

“Once I was out of the happy bubble of my wedding day? No, not a chance in hell. You and Hummel got back together only a few days before. You needed time to either work out the issues you had the first time or realize you were in a never-ending cycle, doomed to failure.”

“Wow, tell me how you really feel.” Blaine downed the rest of his beer for time to come of with a reasonable response. Like that was going to happen. “I thought we were ready.”

“Why? Because you went to therapy and a had rebound relationship with Karofsky?”

“Never, I mean never, say crap about Dave! I don’t care about shit that went down in high school. He didn’t deserve what I did to him, no matter what he did back then!”

Santana tilted her head then nodded, showing she was both stunned and impressed by Blaine’s outburst. “You obviously misunderstood Anderson. Was your relationship with Karofsky on anyone’s bingo card? No. Did some people think you were with him as revenge for Hummel ending your engagement? Yeah, probably more than you realize. But I know you had feelings for Dave, just not love. He was the wrong person at the right time.”

“Then who was the right person?”

“The guy who just walked in the door.” She took hold of his hands and asked “Do you remember when we went to Dalton to hear the Warblers sing MJ and they did I Want You Back? How I said we were in big trouble?” Blaine nodded because seeing Sebastian had rendered him speechless. “I didn’t mean for Regionals. The New Directions were in trouble because we were going to lose you. If that Slushie didn’t happened, you would’ve eventually gone back to Dalton. Not for the Warblers but for a Warbler…Smythe. You looked at him in a way I never saw between you and Hummel…ever.”

“San…”

“Just talk to him. Listen to him. And listen to the voice in your, thankfully no longer plastered into submission, head.”

“Hey” Sebastian said upon his arrival at their table, unsure of what he was doing there in the first place. Other than fear of what Santana Lopez would do if he’d declined, of course.

Santana stood to leave, kissed Blaine on the cheek, then took hold of Sebastian’s arm. “Thank you for coming but if you fuck this up, they’ll never find your body.”

“Understood.” Then as a shock to both men, she kissed his cheek before leaving. “That…that…my younger self would never believe that just happened” Sebastian stammered as he took the available seat. “I still live in fear of her revenge for the Slushie I threw at her. Sometimes I wish she would just get it over with. I mean, how many …don’t answer that. I remember. I’ve always remembered.”

Their missing waitress appeared out of nowhere, obviously due to Sebastian. Even though Blaine hadn’t finished his current beer, he went ahead and ordered one for each of them. Hopefully they’d arrive before the girl realized she worked in a gay bar.

They did.

The tension was awkward, but since Sam had gone to a lot of trouble to put this evening together, Blaine decided the least he could do was see it through. “How’s the Groundbreaking preparation going?”

“Crazy” Sebastian told him, but the former Warbler Captain instantly broke out a smile. “But it’s Dalton crazy so…”

“Organized chaos” Blaine finished for him. “How did you get involved?”?

“Long story.”

“Good. We can get comfortable while we get up the nerve to talk about whatever Santana told you.”

“She didn’t tell me anything. I had no idea you’d be here. In fact, shouldn’t you be in Hawaii? It’s the reason you declined your invitation.”

Blaine was still reeling from hearing Sebastian didn’t know he’d be here. As much as he wanted to ask how Santana convinced him to come, he decided it was safer not to know. “Kurt was offered a business opportunity in Paris, but that’s a conversation we should save until you’ve caught up to me. I’m on my third beer and I’m not the lightweight I used to be.”

“Challenge accepted.” Sebastian took a good-sized drink and looked for the waitress. She must have figured out flirting was a waste of time since she was nowhere to be seen. Fortunately, one of the bartenders remembered Sebastian from the old days who took care of him. “So, we talk about Dalton for now?”

“For now.”

“Ok, then I got involved because the Reopening Committee asked. It’s my Spring Break so I have a lot of extra time.”

Before everything went to hell between them, Blaine learned some of Sebastian’s telltale ticks. If he tapped his fingers on the table, he wasn’t telling the whole truth. He never lied. He just had a habit of leaving out important details. Right now, he was practically tapping the drum solo to In The Air Tonight.

“It’s my Spring Break too, which makes sense since I'm supposed to be in Hawaii. Where did you wind up going to college?”

“Stanford”

“Not Harvard like your dad. I bet that went over like a led balloon.”

“Ding, ding, ding…200 points to the Grammy nominee.”

“You heard about that? Never mind, seems a lot of people have.”

“You’re kidding, right? Everyone knew you’d end up in music, we just didn’t know how. But I have a question. When I read about your nomination, the article said you won a song writing contest at NYU. What happened to NYADA?”

“Kurt broke off our engagement, crippling depression caused my work to suffer, NYADA cut me.”

“They cut you? Depression that bad should've gotten you a medical excuse.” “My parents’ lawyers said the same thing. NYADA cleared my record, refunded my tuition, and when I refused to go back, the Director of NYADA convinced Tische into accepting me despite the fact I’d missed all application deadlines.”

“Let me guess, after NYADA (air quotes) fixed everything, you and your parents didn’t sue.”

“Ding, ding, ding…500 points to the Stanford man.” The tapping went into overdrive. “What aren’t you telling me?”

Sebastian moved his hands to his lap. “You remembered?”

“You’d be surprised how much I remember about you.“ Oh shit! Time to stop drinking.

Either his comment went over Sebastian’s head, or he was polite enough not to push the subject. “Let’s just say you weren’t the only one to switch colleges. I’m not at Stanford anymore. I’m at OSU.”

Huh? “Your turn to spill what happened.”

Sebastian finished his beer and signaled the bartender for another. They were both well aware this would be his third. According to their agreement, it was time to talk about the hard stuff. “Do you remember, back when we were friends, and you asked what was something I could never have but wanted more than anything?”

“Of course. You said my ass.”

“True, but then I said…”

Blaine’s eyes flew open even though they were heavy from the alcohol. “You told your father off? How you hated him for all the crap he’d put you and your mother through? Oh my God, what did he say?”

“You’re cut off.”

“Oh shit!” While Blaine was in disbelief (but in total awe at the same time) Sebastian seemed fine…peaceful. “That’s why you left Stanford? He even cut off tuition?”

“Everything. But Blaine, it was the best thing to happen to me.”

Huh? “What do you mean?”

“He no longer has control over me. I make all my own decisions. I’ll admit I was lucky this pissed off my grandmother, his mother. She gave me the equivalent of what I would inherit when she died. It didn’t take my finance classes for me to realize living in California, near San Francisco, was going to drain the money in less than 10 years. I finished the semester at Stanford then moved here.”

Blaine couldn’t take his eyes off Sebastian. He was practically glowing, and not from the beer. “You look really happy.”

“I am and it’s not just being free of my father. Dalton plays a huge role in what I call my recovery.”

“Dalton? How?”

“I’m not just working on the Groundbreaking. I work part time for Dalton. I’m still working on my Finance Degree, so I’ve been helping with fundraising. OSU gives me credit for practical experience. I’m also getting a degree in Education Administration.”

Excuse me?! “You? Sebastian Smythe are going to be Dalton’s Head Master?”

“Oh, hell no! I’m going to teach French and work as an assistant to the Head Master…title pending. The Head Master has to handle crap like curriculum and faculty. I’ll be in charge of budgets and making sure students don’t do stupid shit…title pending. The idea was who's better for the job than someone who broke practically every rule. There’s not a lie or excuse I won’t see right through.”

When Blaine found out his best friend was taking over the New Directions, Sam asked if he was jealous. His answer of a little was true. He had loved coaching the Warblers. But what Sebastian was doing? He wasn’t a little jealous. He was so jealous his heart hurt. “Are you happy?”

“Extremely. I know everyone expected me to be a lawyer or CEO. I’d rather work at Dalton and not have high blood pressure and ulcers by the time I’m 30. I suppose I’ve grown up.”

“I suppose you have.”

Sebastian took a chance to reach over for Blaine’s hand and was pleasantly surprised when he didn’t pull away. “Killer, when was the last time you were truly happy? Not with something in your marriage, or Kurt in general. Something that was only about Blaine Devon Anderson.”

Was it sad he couldn’t answer immediately? Blaine wanted to say his song writing. How he’d been asked to write a song for a movie. Neither was the truth. “When I was coaching the Warblers before the fire. My life was a mess, but for those few hours a day, safe inside the walls of Dalton, I was genuinely happy.”

Sebastian didn’t look surprised. “If you have time, you should come help with the Groundbreaking. Or, even if you don’t have time, could you please, please, please come help with the Groundbreaking? Some of the bigger donors asked what the Warblers were performing…yesterday. As of now, there’s no performances scheduled, just speeches. You, former Warbler and musical savant, showing up like this is basically a miracle. Unless you say you won’t do it. No pressure. You obviously have a lot to deal with, but please, please pretty please.”

It sounded perfect, but he didn’t want Sebastian to know Dalton was the reason he was back in Ohio. Kurt forbidding him from coming would somehow come out and he didn’t need that getting around. It was beyond embarrassing. “I have time and even if I didn’t, I would’ve found a way. Can we have lunch tomorrow and keep catching up…no matter how difficult it might be?”

Sebastian smiled as Sam and he assumed Kitty walked in. The only reason he wasn’t sure was because she was tiny, and every single McKinley Warbler was scared shitless of her. “B, your designated drivers are here.”

“Not quite Eiffel Tower…”

“Eiffel Tower?” Blaine and Sebastian asked in unison.

Kitty rolled her eyes at them, but Sam thought it was funny. “They’re both tall and French.” She rolled her eyes again when not only Sam, but Blaine and Sebastian, began to laugh uncontrollably. “Anyway…” she said in a way Sebastian suddenly understood why the guys were terrified of her “It’s late, you’ve been drinking and none of us are making the drive to Westerville and back. You’re staying with Tana and Brittany at the Pierce’s. Give me your keys. I’m driving you.”

The guys all began laughing again. They were so loud the other bar patrons could hear them over the music. “You…you?” Sebastian tried to say between breaths. “I don’t think my seats go up that far!!”

Sam pulled himself together. Kitty was almost at her Santana level. “I’ll drive Sebastian’s car. You and Blaine follow in mine.”

“No, I want to talk to the jackass about me and the McKinley Warblers singing Blaine’s song at his fancy shindig on Saturday.”

That got Blaine’s attention. “My song?”

“Rise…the one you wrote when Dalton burned down.”

Blaine quickly got up, and once the room stopped spinning, he grabbed his jacket. “I’ve got to get back to Sam’s. I need my laptop.”

Sam didn’t like the sound of that. Kurt had been calling Blaine’s phone throughout the evening. He hoped his plan hadn’t been for naught with his best friend wanting to Skype his husband. “Why?”

“My song writing software is on it. I’ve got an idea.”

NOTES:

I read somewhere Klaine’s original “introduction” in the 5 year time jump had Blaine as a Grammy nominated song writer and Kurt with a popular accessories line…no Virgina Wolfe. I went with that narrative.

Season 6 Wedding: Episode 6x08 2/20/2015. However, there was no fear of snow or cold, and that barn was VERY open. This is why I moved the anniversary to April/Spring Break.

Dalton Fire: Episode 6x10 3/10/15. While in canon it was 2 weeks later, I moved it to 1 week.

[twoblueheartslocked]

SEBLAINE- PRESENT DAY (Late December/End of Year One)-I Still Remember the First Fall of Snow

Para/Phone Call: I Still Remember the First Fall of Snow- Part 1 of 2. 

Rating: PG-13.

Sebastian: @colorsicantsee 

Blaine: @twoblueheartslocked

Time: Year One: Present Day. December 30. 2 and a half months after No Stopping Your Plans (Present Day, End of Year One. Blaine 22 (as of October 22), Sebastian 21 (as of August 27)

Location:  Ohio/Blaine’s Apartment- Brooklyn, New York

Info: Sebastian attempts to travel back to New York after visiting his parents in Ohio during a snowstorm. Blaine panics.

Warnings; please read: This para has themes of alcohol addiction, depression/anxiety, mentions of past domestic abuse, and mentions of death. This RP in general has themes of past abuse(Physical, mental and sexual), previous unwanted sexual situations, anxiety, depression, negative body image, drug use, alcohol use, cussing, and death(parents).

Extra Warnings: (This RP is not Kurt Hummel friendly. He is not a nice man at all. Never will be in this RP. You’ve all been warned.)

Title Taken From:  All Too Well (TMV) (TV)-Taylor Swift

Under Cut for content.  As usual, the para is mostly unedited.

 (And how it glistened as it fell,

 I remember it all too well)

 Blaine’s POV: 

All over Brooklyn large snowflakes fell in tufts of fluff so soft and delicate that Blaine was almost certain he could hear them whisper like fluttering wings against his window. Everything looked magical around the city and Blaine wanted so badly to love the glowing white blue hue the same way he had five years ago but his stomach was in nervous knots as he watched it fall steadily from a darkening,  light polluted sky. The sight was visually beautiful but it terrified him all the same. He tried not to reach for his phone to check in with his loved ones once again. He’d already bothered them all this afternoon when the impending forecast of a snow storm turned out to be accurate. 

He was mostly, as usual, worried about Sebastian as he was supposed to have been back from his Christmas break visit with his family this morning, but too much snow and bouts of blasting winds had stopped all flights temporarily and his boyfriend was stuck in an airport in Columbus, Ohio for who knows how long and service all over the Midwest, east coast and more was spotty at best so he was stuck just waiting to hear when he’d get to come home. Blaine had to believe that he’d get home and he’d be safe though and that had to be enough. The short time he got to talk to him today Blaine had made sure to keep his voice calm and as supportive as possible even though he wanted nothing more than  to tell him how very worried he was about the weather. 

Sebastian had been angry that they might not get to spend New Years Eve together, but he’d told his boyfriend that the date didn’t matter and they could mimic their own ball drop if they missed the night anyway. In reality the thought of not getting to celebrate their year back together on that specific date made Blaine feel a little lost. It was their anniversary after all. One year since that not so chance rooftop meeting and that perfect snowflake on Seb’s cheek beckoning Blaine with a reason to touch him again after so long apart. Filling them both with  a wave of familiar feelings and the pull of a mythical string drawing them back together where they belonged. All the pain and happiness they’d been through the last year together was thanks to last New Years and Blaine really wanted him home, but he could wait if it meant Sebastian was stuck somewhere safe. 

 Good god though Blaine fucking missed him. He missed him more than he cared to admit to anyone- let alone himself. It was a sort of aching that left him feeling sore and it scared him a little. They’d talked and texted while he was away and Seb said he missed him, of course, but Blaine wondered if it was this much. He wondered if this was normal. It had only been nine days and it wasn’t like they didn’t go days without getting to see each other, they spent time apart all the time. This felt different though, perhaps it was because Sebastian was miles and miles away.  It felt like his arms were stretched too far with wanting Sebastian closer and he didn’t know what to do with that. He just wanted to pull him back towards him and it worried him that maybe he was feeling too much. He felt untethered- unmoored from himself and he didn’t like feeling this way.

Sebastian had, of course, asked Blaine to come with him so they could spend Christmas together and Blaine had been so ready to say yes, but then he let himself sit and think too hard about it and it just didn’t seem like the right time. Sabine had been supportive of their relationship, if a bit tenitive but Seb’s dad was just… well, the worst trigger and Blaine wasn’t sure it was  a good time for him to be there, especially considering the date he’d be there… 

There was also the money aspect, Blaine still wasn’t comfortable with Sebastian’s easy and almost careless way with it and he wasn’t ready to let him pay for a trip that might lead to disaster anyway. Sebastian had promised him before leaving that he was okay though, that the therapy and the AA meetings were helping and that he’d call him if he felt like drinking or doing anything else that he might regret. So far his boyfriend had been just quiet about the whole trip, sort of changed the subject if Blaine asked about his dad, it worried Blaine but he didn’t want to pry or bother him with it, he’d learned that Sebastian would come to him when it was time to talk about what was bothering him. . Sebastian’s main concern the whole time had been coming home. Blaine didn’t think he’d have gone back to Ohio at all if it weren’t for how much he loved his mom.. 

It really was probably for the best that Blaine stayed in New York. He hadn’t wanted to mention it to Sebastian and remind him of what time of year it was even though Seb knew, he had shown that he knew in the way he kept lingering on Blaine face with concern when they said their farewells at the airport, that and the subtle check ins on that day as well let Blaine know that Seb was thinking about it- Sebastian had went through a hell all those years ago, too. Different, but just as damaging. Yet Blaine still couldn’t bring himself to say it out loud to his boyfriend. Not only was two days ago the anniversary of that last time Blaine felt happiness as a teen, but it was the date he lost everything good in his life. He wasn't sure how he’d handle living that day over while trying to win Thomas Smythe over.

December 28, a date burned into his brain for the rest of his life, had always loomed and haunted like a ghost. This year wasn’t any different except that he was free now. He could spend it how he liked and he spent the five year anniversary of his parents deaths quietly on facetime with Cooper. He was in California still- hadn’t gone home to visit their graves, neither of them had in years. Something about the eerie way the snow dusted their stones was far too pretty of a picture for all the tragedy and grief it left them so it was best they didn’t go. The image of their lonely, cold graves with their names forever etched in gray still fills him with a sorrow he knew he’d never get over. He’d miss the two of them forever and nothing would ever fix that. Not his happiness with Sebastian, not being free of Kurt. Nothing- not even time.

Neither he or Coop really knew how to talk to each other anymore yet neither of them were quite willing to just hang up. They’d  shared old pictures they each had saved, digital and physical and sniffled and laughed a little bit over them and Blaine was okay with that until they got to the ones that were from that last Christmas they were together as a family-  right there in the last photo of the bunch was one of his mother covering her smile as Blaine opened up his guitar while his dad looked on with what must have been pride. It was his last ever gift from them and the very guitar that Kurt still had his claws in. Blaine hadn't seen it since he’d been brave enough to leave, and probably never would again. Kurt had hidden it away or really had sold it off in a gesture of cruelty that only he could produce. One last thing to hold over Blaine. That man managed to keep his nails dug into Blaine somehow and suddenly he didn’t want to look anymore and what was first cathartic turned sour and when they finally did hang up Blaine let himself pull Soot into his arms and cry over them. 

He cried and at first it was marred by memories of Kurt’s mocking, nightmare blue eyes but then he let himself really remember his parents- his beautiful, sweet mother with her gentle hands and his serious but sometimes very silly dad and he cried harder than he had in years for them- full gulping sobs. It felt almost good to freely mourn them without Kurt interfering and making him feel small about his feelings. He cried all the time, he knew that and he was often ashamed over how sensitive he was, but his cat purred against his face and it felt right and that was something Kurt couldn’t take away anymore.

He spent the rest of that day keeping himself busy- he’d talked with Seb on the phone and hearing him say I love you over the speaker over 500 miles away made him feel giddy.  He’d exchanged some ridiculous yet funny messages that made him actually laugh out loud with Sam and cleaned his whole apartment. He’d even let Soot dip her paws in the powdery snow that had fallen on the windowsill that day. She seemed to enjoy herself but soon fell asleep burrowed in Blaine’s sweater, cold paws pressed against his chest…

 But now, two days later, he really just wanted to kiss his boyfriend's hands and face and watch something stupid on the television.  Wanted to celebrate their Christmas and New Year’s with him the same way they’d celebrated Blaine’s twenty-second birthday in October- in his apartment, just the two of them pressed together and giggling like they were all that mattered. 

He sighed and reached for the phone, the time read 7:36 p.m. and it was dark out. He groaned in annoyance with himself as he pulled Seb’s name up because of course he couldn’t stop himself.  Just one little call to keep the other man busy while he waited and then maybe he’d walk down and get himself some dinner from the corner store before the snow really took off and then he’d settle down on the couch to work on his advanced music theory and composition work. Classes started back up soon after all. To his surprise Sebastian’s beautiful, mischievous face was already flashing at him in an incoming call before he could press the proper buttons to call him. He almost declined the call in his haste to answer, maybe he’d make it back in time for tomorrow night after all.

“Let me guess, they’re delaying you until next week?” Blaine meant it as a joke but his heart sort of sank at the prospect.

 Sebastian’s POV:

If it weren’t for his mother, Sebastian wouldn’t go home for the Holidays. He wasn’t much for the BER months and all of the family oriented activities everybody felt guilted into attending. Ever the realest, he knew that the chill in the air towards the end of September meant that wine soaked arguments and gift receipts were around the corner. For him, it wasn’t all warm scarves and the scent of cinnamon, laughing with family like a perfect commercial. Sebastian didn’t need gifts or the judgemental looks in his aunts and uncles faces. But, he did need his mother and she loved to decorate and celebrate and show off her home. So, every Christmas he showed up and tried his best but always seemed to fail somehow. Even if she said she loved him and not to mind what the other Smythe family members thought, he could still see how tired his  mother was, the sad tilt of her red lips when he snapped back or poured another cup. 

This year was going to be his first sober Christmas in a long time. He hoped that he could keep it together without Blaine’s gentle golden gaze. He knew that Blaine was a phone call away and the other man had already encouraged him to reach out if he needed to. 

Sebastian had wanted B to join him on the trip. In the back of his mind he had known that the answer would be no. Ohio was complicated, he understood that. His own father was still quite cold about Sebastian and Blaine reconnecting. He knew his mother would welcome his boyfriend in with open arms but that wouldn’t stop his aunts from gossiping or thaw his father’s frosty demeanor. This time of year was hard for both of them but even more so for Blaine. The anniversary of his parent’s deaths was only a few days after Christmas. The yuletide season was marred for his boy and all he wanted to do was hide under an old quilt with him until New Years Day.  

The days of winter break passed by as the snow fell. Sebastian faked his way through dinners and spoke on the phone with B on the phone as much as possible. His mornings were spent with his mother over french press coffee and cigarettes. These were his  favorite moments anytime he came back home. The two of them in her clean kitchen lit up by the winter sun. The scent of her familiar lavender soap mixed with the rich tang of tobacco and her red lipstick print on her porcelain mug brought him comfort. He silently wished he could bottle up all of the goodness these little things she did brought to him. Sebastian could take the bottle back to New York and keep it just for himself.

 The nights in his childhood bedroom felt cold and lonely. It almost felt like he was a teenager again, wrapped up in his dark green sheets, dreaming of Blaine, willing him there. They would talk on the phone late at night, Seb’s voice hushed. ‘Just like old times.’ Blaine had joked. He would tell him about how his aunts got messy wine drunk, about the 5 identical sweaters he was gifted by various family members, and how much he missed him, Soot, and his tiny apartment. Sebastian lamented about how he didn’t want to miss New Years but the midwestern weather just wouldn’t give.

He felt like he had jinxed himself. There he was, sat in an airport by his lonesome. He was going to miss their day. Sebastian felt agitated as he stood at a large window and watched the wind whip snowflakes across the tarmac. B had assured him that everything would be okay and they could still celebrate together. 

Sebastian chewed on his nails and pondered his options. He felt like he'd go crazy stuck in this airport with crying babies and the temptation of the lounge he had access to. He had to get out of there. He’d rent a car. Yeah, he’d just rent a fucking car. He grew up in midwestern winters, he’d driven in them before. He could do it. 

Blaine picked up and made a joke. Seb chuckled and cradled the phone between his shoulder and ear as he signed the paperwork for the car. “Actually, No. I’m going to rent a car. Can’t believe I didn’t think of this sooner. I’ll be there before you know it and we can watch the ball drop together.”

The other side of the line was quiet.

“B?”

Blaine’s POV:

Blaine almost lost his hold on his phone as his breath hitched and caught in his throat. It was all he could do to let it back out again.

Breathe in and back out again, Blaine.

Come on- count to ten. You’ve got this, it’s okay. He’s still safe.

One, two, three…

It had taken Blaine a moment to really hear what Sebastian was saying to him. He could hear the triumph and annoyance with himself and the hint of relief in his boyfriend's voice but none of it really registered right away. All Blaine could focus on was that Sebastian wanted to rent a car and that meant he was going to drive. Blaine’s eyes blurred white and then a blue black that buzzed in his head as he watched the fat snowflakes slip down his city window leaving streaks like tear tracks down mourning cheeks. Was he crying too? He reached up and touched his face and was surprised to feel that his cheeks were dry. He felt seventeen all over again stuck in a never ending loop that started five years ago. He felt real fear for Sebastian’s life creep down his body for the second time since August.

All he could hear now was Cooper struggling to tell him the worst news- There was ice on the r-road. God, they’re gone, Blaine. I-I don’t know how else to say it. Mom and dad are gone… Who would think to call Blaine if something happened to Sebastian? Would he be forgotten? Or would he have to listen to Sabine Smythe heartbroken and struggling to tell him like his brother had? He had to force himself to speak, though his voice felt like it was stuck in his throat, his tongue felt heavy and his fingers felt numb as they regained their grip on his phone.  

“Baby- please don’t.”

He was all too aware that Sebastian, or anyone else that he cared about could be ripped away from him at any given moment, he’d been through it and knew in his heart that it could happen again and probably would-  but the thought of Sebastian out there on the road on a night like this for the next nine or so hours was enough to send the mental progress he’d done over the last year into regression. 

“I know how hard it is for you to be idle and how much you hate not having control of what goes on around you. I know that you’re probably overwhelmed and anxious and that’s not a good place for you to be in, I know, okay?  But I’m asking you not to do this.”

His heart felt ready to break all over again. His thoughts ran wild with unwanted scenarios that all ended with Sebastian dead- his beautiful, mischievous face frozen and reduced to just a picture in someone’s old newspaper. Gone. He licked his too dry lips and pushed on, afraid that if he stopped talking that it’d already be too late. He tried to keep his voice as steady and clear as could given his emotions,

“I hate asking this of you because I know you’re struggling to be still right now. I know you want to be here and not stuck there, trust me, I want you here too, but you have to stay there for now, okay? I’m sure they’ll reinstate your flight soon. I’ll stay up and keep you busy all night. I know you brought a notebook with you so you could write or something to pass time, too. Between the two of us we can keep your mind occupied.”

At this point he felt like a drowning man grasping at whatever he could to keep himself afloat. His  voice was starting to break and crack while he stumbled to put into words how desperately he needed Sebastian to understand what he was feeling. He was fighting panic and it looked like he might lose.

“I know it’s not fair of me to beg, but I fucking can’t, Seb. I- I can’t go through another phone call like t-that. It would destroy me… I never properly healed from before and-I just... Please don’t drive. I need you to promise me you won’t, I need to hear it. P-please. I’ll do anything.”

 Sebastian’s POV: 

Sebastian felt embarrassed. Heat crept up his neck and cheeks and his stomach turned uncomfortably. He had been so focused on getting back to New York that he hadn’t really considered how Blaine would feel about the situation. It all suddenly felt so obvious as the other man’s broken voice begged him not to drive.

“Okay, okay.” Sebastian hoped his tone sounded calming. He picked up the rental contract he had just signed and tore it in half before walking away from the kiosk. The clerk looked confused but he just shrugged and turned to find somewhere to sit. 

“I feel horrible and so fucking stupid, B. I should have known better. God.” 

He listened to his boyfriend speak and rubbed his forehead. There was nowhere quiet to sit. Blaine was right. It was going to be hard for him to stay put but, he wasn’t going to betray him. He sat down on a hard plastic chair and pulled his luggage up onto the free space next to him. 

“I won’t drive, I promise. I won’t do that to you and I appreciate the offer to stay up with me but you need sleep. I’m not going to make you stay awake just because I’m bored or anxious or whatever. I can like, play a game on my phone or something.” Seb cradled the phone against his shoulder and picked at his nails. B knew him well, he was struggling to chill out. “I really am sorry. I don’t know why I thought this would be okay.”

They stayed on the phone for a bit and Sebastian tried to focus but he heard somebody near him mention a hotel. “I wish I could stay at a hotel. I don’t think anything is close enough to get there safely. Guess I’ll just have to buy a fucking Monster or something from a vending machine. I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep anyway but I’m afraid I won’t be alert, you know?”  Seb wanted to be selfish and keep the other man awake with him, that would be the easiest way to quell the anxiety coursing through him. “I should let you get some sleep. Soot is probably annoyed that you’re still awake.”

 Blaine’s POV:

Blaine let out a slow breath as the thick ball of anxiety slowly tried to unfurl in his gut only for it to be replaced by a guilt that he remembered far too well. Guilt for having inconvenienced someone else. Rationally he knew Sebastian wasn’t angry at him for asking him to stay put but the irrational part of his brain, the one part that Kurt had damaged with his huffs of annoyance and sharp claws anytime Blaine felt any emotion other than faux happiness, told him that he was wrong for asking. He wasn’t though because this is what people in healthy relationships did, they talked to each other and helped each other through the difficult things. He had to take another breath  and press his forehead to the cold window of his apartment before he could speak again.

“Please don’t feel bad, you have done nothing wrong and you are not stupid, Seb. I’m not faulting you for not realizing how it would affect me. You’re not  responsible for my triggers. I am.  I just…” He sniffled but managed to keep his emotions in check, breathing his way through it like he was taught and willing his guilt to ebb away because he knew Sebastian loved him and that he wasn’t cross with him for this, sure, he may be anxious but it wasn’t because of Blaine. 

“Imagining you driving right now- I just can’t. I know I can’t keep you safe in a bubble and I’m not asking for that, I just- this month? This time of year…I-” He struggled with himself to find words, still stupidly worried he’d somehow messed up before settling on the simplest thing,, 

“Thank you for understanding, and I’m sorry, I’ll make it up to you, okay? I promise.”

Blaine shook his head as he listened to Sebastian try and reason away why he couldn't keep Blaine on the phone and allowed himself to settle down on his little couch, his feet tucked up under him. He made the soft clicking noise with this tongue that sure enough got his fuzzy little feline to hop up on his lap, she nuzzled into the phone like she just knew her papa was on the other line. 

“Please, Seb, you don’t need to apologize, it’s sweet that you wanted to get here so fast, and a normal person would have embraced your gesture, but I’m not, well- you know, normal. But, I have a feeling that you’ll be in my arms by tomorrow night and we’ll be swaying together on my roof listening to the bang of pots and pans, kissing the New Year into existence.”

He felt the beginnings of a tentative grin trying tug on the corners of his lips in anticipation, wanting nothing more than to hold his boyfriend to his chest and kiss the worry and anxiety out of his faraway voice. He let himself take a deep breath, and finally the guilt was slowly replaced with hope and want. He pressed further into the couch, making himself comfortable with Soot curled up on his shoulder, surely curious about why her dad’s emotions were all over the place.

“Sebastian, I’m not hanging up, not a damn chance.” His voice was gentle as he tried his best not to laugh at the thought of letting Seb go for the night, the thought felt absurd to him, “Soot is actually worried about you and wants to see your face, put your earphones in and facetime us so she can see that you’re safe and then you can tell us about something good that’s happened over the last few days and then something you’re looking forward to when you get here.. We’ll be up as long as you need us. Besides, I don’t need to sleep nearly as much as I need to see your face right now.”

 Sebastian’s POV:

“Since Soot is asking so nicely...”

Sebastian tried to pay it casual but he could feel the grin overtake his face because how the fuck was Blaine still so sweet after his mess-up? He obviously wanted to see Blaine’s face, too. More than anything. He knew the joke would make the other man smile. He slipped in his Airpods and accepted the facetime option. He was tucked away in a somewhat quiet corner and the two of them kept each other busy until the time blurred. At around 5:05 a.m.  they announced that the flight would board at 6:30 AM.  The wind had died down and conditions were safe. A surge of relief flooded through him, he was so ready to be back in the city, back with Blaine. 

Sebastian had pretty much slept the entire plane ride with little interruption. His body felt exhausted but his mind was elated to be that much closer to his favorite everything- his safe spot.. Nothing exceptional happened until he was bounding up the stairs to his boyfriend’s apartment. It was only about 2 in the afternoon and they would have the whole of New Year’s evening and day together.  As soon as Blaine opened the door they were in each other’s arms, he wasn’t sure who reached for the other first. His exhaustion seemed to almost melt away as he felt B’s hands rub the small of his back, as he felt the soft whip of Soot’s skinny tail rub against his shin in her own special greeting. He was back with Blaine. 

He was home. 

/tbc.

(Part two of two will be posted in the next couple of months. We’ll see you soon!)

[klaine-a03-feed]

Once More (...With Feeling)

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/WEJ0tZ2 by Imogen_LeFay Season 4 AU. When the consequences of his actions catch up to him, Sebastian is forced to leave Dalton, ending up at McKinley of all places. Blaine tries to hold on to a relationship that's slipping more through his fingers with every second. A revived friendship, growing feelings, and another school musical might just be what both need to save this mess of a senior year. Words: 2311, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English Fandoms: Glee Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: Sebastian Smythe, Blaine Anderson, Sam Evans (Glee), Tina Cohen-Chang, Kurt Hummel Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Sebastian Smythe, Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel Additional Tags: 10 days of Seblaine 2023, Day 8: McKinley, season 4!au, Sebastian At McKinley, No Grease, Buffy the Musical Episode, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort

[jammie3132]

Having Grant for more than a few episodes and not ruining what Sebastian could have been without the stupid Slushie? Not sitting through 3 Seasons of Depressed Blaine? Not having to wait until Elsie Fest years later to get a Seblaine duet?

AND, not having to endure both the ridiculous steroids storyline and the unforgivable burning down of Dalton?

Yet another thing not to forgive Ryan Murphy for.

A Warbler Spin-Off - Ryan Murphy on And That’s What You REALLY Missed | Source

[seblaineworld]

Hey, Seblainers! Hellooooo, everyone else!

A big life update...

First of all, I'm truly sorry that this is the first time I've posted since Mum went into Hospital. In total since my last post, my Mum has actually spent the sum of 5 days when she was NOT in Hospital...

She sustained a wound when she fell out of bed, and because she is a Type 2 Diabetic it has been healing very slowly and has become infected several times, resulting in my normally sharp as a tack Mum, having temporary confusion and feeling disorientated, which has been so upsetting to witness.

She turned 84, 2 days after being discharged for the third time, and fell into a Diabetic Coma the very next night due to her blood sugar not being properly regulated, which was possibly the scariest night of my entire life, and was terrifying to witness, so the decision was made to take her off her previous oral Diabetic medication and put her on Insulin...That's been a huge learning curve for everyone concerned, and hard to adjust to on top of everything else...

You've all been truly wonderful with your heartfelt messages of support and Love, and I'm incredibly grateful for each and every one. Nobody has come back to me with a date for us to have 10 Days Of Seblaine 2024, and I genuinely thought that I was going to be in a position to host the event, and keep up with my commitments to Mum, but sadly, it's just no longer sustainable...

I've already had to have several of my staff take over many of my own classes so that I can spend as much time as possible with Mum, which has been hard for my students and even harder for me, but again, I'm truly grateful for all the support I'm being given. Until yesterday, I still thought I was going to be able to make time to host 10 Days Of Seblaine 2024 before the end of this year, but I now feel that is an impossible ask..

I'm conscious that I should ALSO be hosting Seblainiversary Weekend 2024 starting tomorrow, but I just can't do it, folks. I know I'm letting you all down so badly, and my heart is breaking having to make this post, but I really hope you can all understand my position. Ysterday, having literally taken the dishes through to wash them after giving her her lunch, I walked back into the living-room to find Mum having some kind of seizure, with a temperature of 41 Celsius, and obviously, I called an Ambulance and she has been readmitted.

Turns out the wound has now become Grade 4, and a secondary infection has set in. She's now on Antibiotics to clear it. I'm sad and upset and frustrated and have cried a great many tears, because of a few medical missteps that have taken place during the last few months, but I need to stay strong for my Mum.

Mum's feisty and a fighter, and all she wants is to feel well again, and as she puts it - to feel completely normal, but she's having such a difficult time, as am I.

Once again, I'm truly so, so sorry that I've completely let you all down. If someone has time to take over the Seblainer event hosting duties until I can take over the reins again, please message me. The last thing I wanted was for our tiny (but always fierce!) Seblainer Fandom to miss out on what's always a fun time, where our many talented Seblainers get their chance to shine. But I just don’t have anything left in me to host anything for the time-being, because I'm literally running on empty..

I love you all so much, and again, thank you for the many, many messages of Love, support, and encouragement that you've all sent me.

Ail 💜

[daisyishedwig]

L, M, N for the fic writers ask !!!!!

A Place to Call Home was a very personal story, so while I understood what Blaine was going through very well, it was still emotional draining to write a lot of the more intense scene, even if it was cathartic.

The ones that were more challenging would be look, look at you, and, currently, like it hasn't been forever. I had very specific ideas for how Blaine would be feeling and how Sebastian would be feeling and actually getting those emotions across was very challenging, and part of why it's taking so long for me to update like it hasn't been forever is because I still working on getting it just right.

Look, look at you specifically started out as a Klaine fic that I wrote almost 3000 words and four aborted attempts at making it work before I eventually realized, it was just supposed to be a Seblaine fic, and even then it was difficult. It's an idea I would love to explore more but I'm not sure if I am currently capable, but maybe in the future.

I probably have way stranger AU ideas from when I was younger, but I've almost certainly forgotten them now. Some of my favorite au ideas were usually polyam stories. Like I had this very fun throuple soulmates Sebklaine AU where Kurt got Sebastian's name on his wrist, Sebastian got Blaine's, and Blaine got Kurt's and it would take them a while to first work out what was going on and then why it would mean.

I had a d/s universe Starklaine idea (though I've contemplated writing it as Sebklaine, simply because I'm more comfortable with writing that) where Kurt has never been sure of his status but simply decided he would be a Dom, because it fit him fine and he couldn't imagine submitting to anyone he knows, so it must be the right choice. But then he meets Elliot and it makes him question everything, because suddenly he does have a desire to submit. And after a while he gets comfortable in his identity as a sub, until Elliot takes in Blaine, an abused sub, through some sort of... Foster type company? And suddenly Kurt's upset at first that his boyfriend suddenly has another sub living at his place, and he's jealous and upset, but Blaine is just so sweet and slowly he starts caring for him and wanting to take care of him and he realizes he wants to dominate him and he panics because he doesn't understand what that means. And basically Kurt is an oblivious switch because switch!Kurt is the best.

I really hope to write that one day, but as it stands, it's a ways down the road.

Oh and I can also talk about how my Mrs. Winterbourne Seblaine AU existed for years in my brain as an mpreg fic, because I wasn't an experienced enough writer to figure out how to make that fic work without going that route and having it be a straight adaptation of the movie.

Currently I'm really excited about how it's shaping up, and, actually, Klueless has really inspired me with the way you've kept the heart of the movie without it being a scene for scene AU, it's helped me through a number of my plot hangups where i felt like I was trying to hard to make it exactly like the movie.

I'm just really excited it see how some of the changes I've made to the plot fit into the original narrative. Specifically I'm really liking the deeper connection I've been able to create between Blaine and Sebastian as they both grieve their brothers together, whereas in the original movie, Connie hadn't actually lost anyone in the same way Bill had. It just makes the enemies to lovers more fun when Blaine is both actively very annoyed at Sebastian and also deeply understands the pain he is feeling.

I am currently on a train to New York right now, which does mean I'm suddenly very tempted to work on my Mrs. Winterbourne AU, but I specifically didn't bring my laptop so I would be encouraged to focus on reading while on this trip 🙃🙃

[lusthurts]

29, 12, and 6?

omg yay

29. Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic. (If you don’t have either, just share a random fic idea you have that you don’t plan on getting to.)

here's something I cut from "How Bright We Burn" - in the first draft, Kurt and Blaine broke up after Kurt didn't show up to the Warblers sectionals, and Blaine and Sebastian's first kiss happened that night during the truth or dare game when Thad dares them to make out. Anyway, this scene follows that:

He reaches for the back of Sebastian’s neck and pulls him towards him. Cheers from the Warblers erupt immediately when their lips connect, and Blaine can’t help but smile. That day in the hallway when Sebastian said they could run the school together pops into Blaine’s head as Sebastian kisses him back, and it’s the last coherent thought he has as his eyes close and their lips fit like pieces of a puzzle that have been dying to touch for years. 

Blaine must black out for a second because it’s almost like it’s just them, even though this might be the loudest he’s ever heard the Warblers cheer during a dare. He’s too focused on Sebastian’s tongue as it slips between his lips and his hand as it lands on his thigh, then his waist, all of it sending shock waves through his entire body. 

It takes a distinctly Nick-sounding cheer to snap Blaine out of the hazy mess of a kiss and pull away. It’s frustrating because he doesn’t want to stop, which is a shitty thing to think when you’ve been single for less than a day. Maybe it’s the liquor, but he’s terrified it isn’t. 

come to think of it, maybe I actually will include this in a different fic in the future lol

12. Do you have a playlist for your current WIP(s)? Share it!

yes! I make playlists for almost all my WIPs, even the shorter ones. The "How Bright We Burn" playlist has 123 songs on it (many of which are songs that led to the lyrics at the top of each chapter) so I won't share them all for now, but instead, I'll share some highlights from the playlist for the sequel ;)

"Beautiful Trauma" by P!nk

"Crazy In Love" by Beyoncé

"Renegade" by Big Red Machine & Taylor Swift

"Holy Ghost" by BØRNS

"Style" by Taylor Swift

"History" by One Direction

"Easy" by Troye Sivan

"Paprika" by Japanese Breakfast

"The Louvre" by Lorde

"Till Forever Falls Apart" by Ashe & FINNEAS

hopefully that doesn't include any spoilers ope

6. Are there any fics from others you reread all the time?

omg yes of course, the Seblaine fic that I literally always reread is the "I'll Be There For You" series by Imogen_LeFay, specifically "Stuck In Second Gear" because that fic is seriously canon to me and the only way I can ever bring myself to rewatch the last season of Glee because I know that this fic is how it really ends. For other Seblaine fics, I love to reread "Seasons Change" by civillove and "This or That" by TiburonWriter.

also, I'm a huge marauders fan (though you wouldn't guess it from my Tumblr where I almost exclusively talk about seblaine and Taylor Swift) and I have to admit I've reread the famous "All the Young Dudes" by MsKingBean89 multiple times as well.

sorry this got so long lol clearly idk how to be concise

[lusthurts]

ok ok so realistically i think they both wanted to reach out but didn’t because Klaine canonically lasts at least 5 years post-canon and they have a kid and i don’t see that marriage falling apart for at least a bit after that because i imagine they’d both do everything they could to make it work for the sake of the kid

BUT that being said i imagine they somehow run into each other after the marriage falls apart (or maybe reconnect before then) but it would have to be complete coincidence because i doubt either of them would just randomly reach out unless there was some inciting incident

still, i answered “yes” because my headcanon ignores the 5 year flash forward and sees klaine falling apart somewhere around the 2/3/4 year mark but seblaine reconnecting sometime before that or early after that and supporting each other through the divorce and such

anyway i said this in a previous post but i’ve adopted the i’ll be there for you series by imogen_lefay as my headcanon and you should too

[imogenlefay]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Glee Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Sebastian Smythe Characters: Blaine Anderson, Sebastian Smythe Additional Tags: With minor appearances by other characters, including some klaine, as well as mentions of, kadam, brittana, St. Berry, seblaine endgame, and midgame, all the game, Seblaine through the years, 10 snippets, anniversary fic, Seblainiversary 2021 Summary:

It begins with Uptown Girl, and ends with surgery. At least, that's how it could have been. Or maybe, at your lowest point, there's a chance for a new start, nnd seizing the day can turn out better than hoped.

A collage of ten days, ten years, ten flowers following Blaine and Sebastian on their way to a better future.