#seawitchvibes

[modernseawitch]

I may have been falling asleep and not paying attention to how many books I had placed on hold at the library 🙃 Guess who's going to be burning the midnight oil to read all of these before they're due back. Comment with the book you're reading right now. -The Modern Sea Witch https://www.modernseawitch.com #themodernseawitch #modernseawitch #myjourney #modernseawitchblog #modernseawitchvibes #seawitch #seawitchvibes #witch #witchy #witchyvibes #witchcraft #witchesofinstagram #witchesofinstagram🔮🌙 #spiritual #wordstoremember #inspiration #photography #pagan #paganlife #pagansofinstagram #pagansofig #bookworm #witchcraftbook #witchybooks #witchyreads https://www.instagram.com/p/Ce1gw3mJlcc/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[kweenytodd]

When your #slytherin #hair is looking super cute right now. 💚🐍#greenhair #snek #cuteaf #seawitchvibes #mossygreen #werewitch #articfoxhaircolor #monsterkid #shapeshifter https://www.instagram.com/p/BtaKKy9FQhG/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=rl7dqxn6ef3o

[mikeya85]

So I’m wearing my Ursula hoodie... have my Ursula mask ... and a Poor Unfortunate Souls cover is the first song that plays when I get in my car ... 🐙 it was meant to be... #seawitch #ursula #poorunfortunatesouls #thelittlemermaid #masks #wearamask #mikeyadam #safetyfirst #itwasmeanttobe #witchesofinstagram #witchy #seawitchvibes #witchyvibes (at Columbus, Ohio) https://www.instagram.com/p/CDCenSmjQg7/?igshid=yasd5gnddiuw

[girlofindustry]

A sea witch’s catch! Today’s Etsy listing is a turquoise figa with an articulated fish charm. #barnacles #alexisberger #turquoise #manofiga #victorianhand #chatalaine #fishcharm #seawitchvibes https://etsy.me/2WdGLFB https://www.instagram.com/p/Bs_mh5xBM0b/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=e0qt6o9lo0yb

[oldbrainlessbuffoonery]

Anyone wanna sing some funky toons with me,

I'll start...

Doooododododooooodododoooo

Dodadedooooo

Doooododododooooodododoooo

Do dooo....

Now your turn.

[xtinacrosthwaite]

Feeling myself today! #selfie #browsonfleek #lashesfordays #seawitchvibes #pulpriothair . . Lashes: @jenfivelash Brows: @stephkuber Hair: @xtinahairdesign (at Chicago, Illinois)

[theenchantedwren]

#Summer #OceanWitch vibes... 3D paper art, lanterns, earrings, #spellbottles, cameos, and more are available in my #EtsyShop! #beachgifts #beachart #beachvibes #oceanofinstagram #oceanwitch #oceanearrings #seawitchaesthetic #seawitchesofinstagram #etsyoclock #etsyoccult #etsyofinstagram #CraftBizParty #handmadehour #handmadeofinstagram #witchesofinstagram #witchofetsy #witchcrafting #witchstagram #oceanwitchvibes #seawitchvibes #paperofinstagram #paperartist #paperartofinstagram https://www.instagram.com/p/CQg2DtRHBgx/?utm_medium=tumblr

[priestess-crescent-luna]

This is my smudging bowl made out of shells. Its handmade. Perfect for my aesthetic. . . . #seavibes #seawitch #seawitchvibes #smudging #smudgingsage #spiritual #spirituality #seashells #candle #cleasing #witchcraft #witchyaesthetic #witchyvibes #witchesofinstagram #witches #wicca #pagan #pagansofinstagram #smudgingbowl #sage #basil #smudgestick #smudgesticks #handmade #handmadedecor #seadecor #seavibes

[godzillaheart-blog]

🐚🌊💀 #seawitchvibes #RennFest2016 (at Maryland Renaissance Festival)

[modernseawitch]

A Witch Dives into Divination

When someone mentions divination, does it conjure the image of the stereotypical gypsy from mainstream books and movies adorned in scarves that have gold coins sewn into the fringe in a dimly lit red caravan? Is there a crystal ball on a table for the gypsy to peer into and see your future? An empty cup of tea with the tea leaves left behind to make sense of the images within? Perhaps some small bones, or rocks with runes carved into them spilling out of a black velvet bag? Maybe trying to decipher the lines on your palm will give you insight into your love life? The list of divination methods go on and on. Fortune tellers are just experts at reading body language, right? They speak in generalizations to bait the customer to reveal more information so that they can, then build the reading off of the imparted information. While there are charlatans out there that are only trying to make money off of unsuspecting customers, there are also honest readers and I’m sure they don’t appreciate the stereotype.

Divination has been practiced in one form or another for millennia. That really piqued my curiosity. It has been around for so long, and practices typically don’t endure the test of time if they don't work. Maybe there actually is something to this. I decided now that my practice is out in the open, I should at least study divination even if I didn’t plan to incorporate it into my practice since it has been a useful tool to others. As a student of witchcraft, I felt it best to experience it for myself and not to just read about the subject before drawing my conclusions. I wanted to see if this was real first hand. I decided to start with Tarot. Decks, books, and online resources are abundant, not to mention the cards are just beautiful to look at.

Tarot began in the medieval period as a game called Tarocchi played by Italian nobles that morphed over the centuries into the divination system we know today. The cards grew from their original four suits when the trionfi (trump cards) were added sometime during the fifteenth century which would become later known as the Major Arcana. These new cards weren’t just simple cards only depicting the number and suit, these new cards were diverse in their symbols and the illustrations that represented them. It is believed that, after the Major Arcana was added, the cards began to be used by some not just for entertainment but for divination purposes as well. However, during the rise of the Roman Catholic church and its influence over leadership across the world, many occult and pagan practices, such as divination, receded into the shadows for fear of being declared heretical and suffering the accompanying punishment. Before the invention of the printing press, decks were handmade and most were lost to the ravages of time. Some of the oldest specimens that exist today, examples of the Tarot of Marseilles, are decks that were created by use of the printing press during the early 1700’s. This style of deck still used the simple designs of the four suits, the Minor Arcana, assigning Roman numerals to the cards in the Major Arcana and is the prototype to the cards we see today. The printing press allowed multiple decks to be created in less time than creating them by hand. Because of this innovation, Tarot began to spread more rapidly than ever before across Europe, but still remained in the fringes of acceptable society.

Over the years, I had seen fleeting images of Tarot cards but didn’t pursue more information regarding them since I wasn’t openly practicing. I had read that you needed to be gifted your first deck but that did not make sense to me. Who would give a deck to me? I didn’t know anyone else interested in Tarot. I could ask for a deck as a present but who knew when or if that would actually happen. I had also read that you need to connect with the deck and part of that is through the imagery of the artwork. What if I didn’t connect with a deck that I was gifted? I didn’t want to waste time or money. I said to myself, “I’m a modern witch! I’m taking matters into my own hands. I don’t need to wait for someone to give me a deck as a present, I can give myself a gift.”

After that realization, I knew I needed to select a deck. I was surprised at the immense number of different decks available. I spent days watching YouTube videos where the content creator would flip through decks showing the imagery of each card. After seeing so many styles of artwork and learning about the various types of Tarot decks. I opted to learn to read the Rider-Waite Smith imagery and went with the Radiant Rider-Waite Smith deck from US Games. I decided to go with this artwork because it is the most widely utilized imagery for modern Tarot decks. There are established interpretations of these cards readily available with some slight variations here and there, but generally speaking, the cards interpretations are fairly consistent. While I’m curious about Thoth Tarot, I thought it best to explore that later since the majority of decks and books available are for the Rider-Waite Smith imagery. Now that I had my deck, I was ready to rip into it and start reading but I decided to wait. Being the practical student of the craft that I am, I decided to verify which lunar cycle is purported to be best for divination. Of course, it wasn’t the phase that I was currently in, it would be the Full Moon. Luckily for me, I only had to wait a few days.

Even though I had my doubts, I still wanted to give it an honest chance. The evening of the Full Moon finally came and I was able to set some time aside so that I wouldn’t be disturbed. Because of my hidden practice that I had recently brought into the open, I didn’t know any of the card meanings and I thought this a benefit to me as I wanted to do this reading solely on intuition. However, I did have a book at the ready if at the end I couldn’t intuitively interpret the meaning of the cards and to see if my interpretation was in line with the consensus. I unwrapped the deck from the plastic overwrap that protected it. I cleansed the deck with the smoke of my incense and consecrated it for use in my practice. I meditated with the deck for a few moments before shuffling, allowing my energy to flow over the cards. Tarot cards tend to be a little larger than standard playing cards and can be a challenge to shuffle for those with smaller hands. I used a combination of shuffling styles to really mix them up. Then after cutting the deck several times with my left hand (traditionally used because it is connected with the side of your brain that controls creativity and intuition), I fanned the cards out and ran my left index finger over the cards, stopping when a particular card caught my attention. There are many acceptable methods for selecting cards for a reading. Since I was a skeptic, I opted to work with a complete random pull of cards. If the deck really wanted to tell me something, it was going to have to work for it. For this first reading, I decided on a Past, Present, Future spread to see how accurate it could be. The skeptic in me wanted proof that Tarot wasn’t just a parlor trick. I turned over the first card, the Two of Pentacles represented my past. A person juggling two golden pentacles in an infinite dance. Uh…two months prior I had decided to leave my job of 20+ years and change career fields entirely. I’d gone through a lot of changes financially in that time. I opened the book to see if I was on the right track. If you are not familiar with Tarot, the pentacle suit is often associated with things concerning money, career, material security and what keeps you grounded. I turned over the next card, symbolizing the present, The High Priestess. The image of her sitting in her sacred space with symbols of her practice brought to mind inner wisdom and divine knowledge. I was learning to listen to my inner voice again now that I was openly practicing witchcraft; that innate knowledge that I had banished to the dark confines of my mind years ago. I again referred to the book, confirming this card represents divinity, your intuition, and spirituality. It often appears in readings when needing a reminder to listen to that internal guidance. Okay, you’ve got my attention now. I reached a tentative hand out to turn over the third card, my future, not sure if I wanted to glimpse what might be there. The Magician appeared, relief flooding through me. It gave me the confirmation that I was on the right path. The image of the practitioner at his altar, one hand pointing skyward, one to the ground evoked an image of balance. I verified in the book that The Magician is a representation of willpower and having the confidence in the ability to manifest desires. A person that steps into their own power. I was left utterly astounded. I just sat there with my mouth agape. My mind was whirling with activity. How? They're just cards! It had to be a fluke! That’s just not possible!

I’ll admit that this reading had left me a little shaken and I didn’t pick the deck up again for a few weeks. I analyzed and reviewed the spread again and again. Had I been projecting? I hadn’t had to look at those cards for more than a second that first time to understand what each was symbolizing. What I read in my resources only confirmed my interpretation. The Two of Pentacles specifically symbolizes adapting to change and balance. I had recently made the decision to leave my current employment because it was not work that I wanted to do anymore; I needed to restore the balance in my life by heading in a new direction. The High Priestess symbolizes connecting with the divine and your intuition, which I was actively working on. And the Magician represents where I intend to be in the future with my practice and my life. I had to see if that was just a coincidence. The next spread and each subsequent one I have completed since, have further cemented my belief that all objects in this world are connected by energy. The person requesting the reading imparts energy to the deck and in turn the deck shows that person a lesson they need to learn. I have not had to struggle to understand the meaning of an individual card, and in turn how these cards relate to one another within the spread, and how they correlate to the question posed. The cards have helped me immensely in my shadow work, forcing me to recognize parts of myself that I did not want to acknowledge. It has made me contemplate issues that I have been struggling with for years. Tarot has been honing my mind to search out and listen to that inner voice that was buried for so long.

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines divination as “the art or practice that seeks to foresee or foretell future events or discover hidden knowledge usually by the interpretation of omens or by the aid of supernatural powers or as unusual insight or intuitive perception”.  So, while many stop at the beginning of that definition and think that divination is just fortune telling and trying to see into the future, they totally miss the larger part of what divination actually is, using intuitive perception. A lot of what we need to know is information that we already have but can’t access at a conscious level. These divinatory methods aid us in bringing forth that knowledge to our conscious mind. Another point to keep in mind, some insinuate that Tarot cards tell the future. However, that is not accurate. In the spread, if there is a card that is to be considered the outcome or the future, it truly is only a possibility. It is simply what could happen (or not happen, depending upon the question or situation posed for the spread) if the advice given through the reading is not taken to heart.

So, can Tarot cards tell you your future? In my opinion, no, that's not their purpose. Their purpose is to help you divine needed information and in that process could show you a possible future outcome. Key words there, could and possible. They help you tap into your intuition and are a very useful tool that I intend to explore further and will most likely stay a part of my practice. I did not start out thinking that I was going to really enjoy divination. I can say that I’ve been pleasantly surprised. I’ll be quite honest, I had no qualms saying that I didn’t think it was real. While yes, I believed in magic in the sense that there are energies that we are able to manipulate around us, I still wasn’t ready to dive in and believe that some card, bone, or stone could tell me anything worth knowing. I can now say how completely wrong I was and can’t wait to deepen my study of Tarot and to learn other forms of divination as well.

Tarot is yet another reminder that all things in this world are connected energetically. I’m a modern practitioner and thought certainly I was the furthest thing from that stereotypical image. Well, I am a witch, I do have Celtic and Eastern European origins, and I also like the nomadic lifestyle, so maybe, I’m just a little closer than I originally thought…

-The Modern Sea Witch

[modernseawitch]

So Why a Sea Witch?

Although I have been practicing for quite a while, it was with limited knowledge until recently. As I have mentioned before, I purposefully did not look at social media, the Internet, or books regarding witchcraft because I wanted no trace of the subject linked to me. My practice up until that point revolved around me searching for something that provided me solace. I did not have to think real hard to figure that one out. For me, that has always been the ocean.

I have been fortunate enough to have lived all of my life, at the most, only a few hours away from the ocean. When I would feel overwhelmed, it was always the place that I went to or if I could not physically go there, I visualized it. The first hint of the briny tang in the air would relax the tension in my shoulders and remind me sanctuary was close at hand. The cry of the seagulls would lead me closer, across the dunes and down to the wrack line where sea shells and other treasures awaited me. The muscles at the base of my skull would begin to release the tension they held. I watched the pelicans, wings spread wide, as they skimmed mere inches above the swells, their large bills ready to dip into the water for a fish. The sandpipers with their tall legs darted between the breaking waves and stabbed their long thin beaks into the sand for their meal. Then I would drift closer until I finally reached that place between the ebb and flow of the waves. Where you could first feel Mother Ocean’s enveloping embrace. That place that was neither here nor there, where the concept of time no longer mattered. Where the sound of the crashing surf drowned out the negative energy that threatened to consume me. Where I cleansed my soul.

I had made the ocean part of my practice intuitively. I meditated to the sounds of the surf when I needed to quiet the noise of daily life. The ocean’s colors soothed me and I surrounded myself with them. The plants that I grew in my garden were selected to remind me of being along the shoreline. Shells and coral were always on display inside and outside of my home. They provided the grounding effect of the earth element along with the plants, and I drew strength from their presence when I needed it. Their tough exteriors had once shielded a fragile life hidden inside. I crafted windchimes with the shells that I collected to capture the breeze. I also used shells to hold tea lights, lining them with a bed of sea salt or sand that I had also collected. I used shells to hold jewelry when I washed my hands at the sink. I filled vases with them to support floral displays and used them to adorn centerpieces on my dining table. I even made them into tree ornaments. One of my dogs and my cat are both obsessed with them and are always stealing them from the tree.

It took me quite a while to realize what I had done. These items were not simple trinkets that I could easily part with as I could with other pricier souvenirs from other destinations. The practices that I had employed were not simply to make me feel better momentarily. They represented a deeper connection that I needed to acknowledge. I NEED the ocean. It’s an essential part of me. The longer that I stay away from it, the more irritable I get, just ask my husband.

We have all heard that a vacation at the beach is relaxing but for me it is a little different, it restores the balance that I need. I have always loved vacationing at the beach and have done so at every opportunity that I could. I go there frequently even for just the day no matter the time of year. My friends give me strange looks when I have the urge to drive three hours to the ocean in the middle of Winter just to walk along the surf and then drive another three hours back home, especially when I live along another larger body of water that has beaches. It’s just not the same for me, I have tried. I have experience with both the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans, as well as other larger bodies of brackish water. I am not able to put my finger on it exactly, but there is a tangible difference for me between the two types of water.

Maybe it just comes down to the salinity levels. I guess you could say I’m a bit of a salty witch…okay you can close the browser now, I’ll understand. I have a specific affinity for islands, being completely surrounded by the ocean allows me easier access to its energy I suppose. It is something that I intend to add to my list of studies. I am grateful that I have access to barrier islands that are protected and left wild. I can sit and absorb the wisdom of the ocean for as long as I like without being disturbed by anything except for the local wildlife. I’m an island girl and nothing is going to change that. I was fortunate enough to live on an island for a few years and spent most weekends camped on the beach. I never sleep better than when my head is cradled by the sand and the surf is my lullaby. Seashells, coral, and sand are still my favorite keepsakes and I know my husband will just shake his head as I always bring home more to add to my collection.

When I made the decision to openly practice, I had declared to my husband “I’m a sea witch!” His response, “Awesome! I’m sure you can arrange that I will come back with a nice catch on my next fishing trip.” It wasn't until I decided to practice openly that I allowed myself to start exploring social media on the topic of witchcraft. Lo and behold, I found an abundance of posts regarding the question, "What type of witch are you?" I had no idea there were so many classifications, at least according to social media. I just figured a witch is a witch but I liked the idea of being a sea witch. I had seen boats and cottages with that moniker long before exploring social media and loved the image it evoked in my mind. While I identify myself as a sea witch, I would have to say my practice is more eclectic. I love incorporating elements of the sea into my practice, but I find all forms of the natural world intriguing and don't limit my practice to solely the watery realm. I am free to learn many traditions and practices and then decide what fits best for me. While these social media posts are fun to read and sometimes give me something to explore and think about, I keep in mind that there is no need to pigeonhole myself. My practice should be as unique as the individual I am.

-The Modern Sea Witch

[modernseawitch]

A Witch Goes Back to School

I am just trying to learn, to further my witchcraft practice, and to share the experiences I encounter along the way. I consider myself a bit of an anomaly. While I have been a magical practitioner for quite some time now, I did so with very limited knowledge. As far as I am aware, there aren’t many like me out there. Who knows, maybe there are more than I think.

Now that I have lifted my personal restrictions and am free to do as I wish, it is glaringly obvious that I need to address my lack of witchcraft training. There is just so much that I just still do not know. So here I am, back in school again, but at least this time my class schedule looks something like this: Intro to Witchcraft, Grounding & Centering 101, Beginner Wards, Protections & Charms, Intro to Divination, and Basics of Shadow Work, better known as Psychology 101. If anyone actually knows where this physical school exists, I would like to know. That would be a school I would be thrilled to attend. Makes me wonder now, hmmm…. Okay, so that just led to a Google search and a few of them actually exist. So, maybe I will do some research into that subject. But I will have to tuck that away for another time. I tend to stray off onto a tangent if I don’t remind myself to focus, which just proves to me that I really need to get back to the basics.

Luckily for me, we are experiencing a renaissance of witchcraft and other magical practices. We are moving beyond Wicca being the primary source of witchcraft information. Ever since I was a small child and had very bad experiences with formalized religion, I have wanted no part of any religious sects, not even a pagan one. I have never felt the pull to join a coven and learn a branch of traditional, initiation based witchcraft. But I recognize that has contributed to my lack of information. My decision to keep my witchcraft practice completely hidden and not seek out those external sources of information that would reveal me, has left me with an undeniable, gaping hole in my knowledge base. The digital era has completely changed the landscape of how readily available subject material is. In my quest for information I have found that there are so many diverging avenues for learning now. Books, podcasts, videos, websites, online courses and workshops all waiting if one just looks for them. While yes, I have been practicing meditation and grounding, which are cornerstones in the foundation of any magical practice, I was doing so not quite in the ways that I’m reading about now. The subtle shift in techniques and perspectives have made a stark difference. Things that I previously struggled with and had just a vague notion of, are becoming more concrete, more tangible. I am feeling the cogs and wheels starting to turn in harmony in my mind and finally are making sense. This newfound comprehension is truly eye-opening, and I am thoroughly enjoying this pursuit of knowledge.

While it’s wonderful that I have access to so much information now, at the same time I feel like I am panning for gold–slogging away at the sluice and sifting through the daunting amount of data just to find the scant nuggets of actual truth. Fear creeps back in from time to time. Sometimes, it can be absolutely crippling looking at that mountain of material and I just want to crawl back into the comfort of my bed and pull the blanket over my head. Why did I wait this long? I have so much to learn and I wasted so much time not doing so previously. My social media feeds constantly display the younger generation of witches that are sure of themselves and just look at all of the knowledge they possess at such a young age. Then, my newly reconnected inner voice stops me and reminds me this was the path that I chose and I need to focus on moving forward. It’s time to straighten my proverbial witch’s hat and get back to the task at hand. I have always enjoyed research but now actually doing it for witchcraft is feeding that light within, helping me drive Fear away. I have acknowledged my deficiencies and I am making every effort to improve them. I am not looking to become an expert in any particular discipline at this time, but I am striving for a solid grasp of theories and practices.

I also have been working on composing my book of shadows, my repository for all of my research, notes, workings, and correspondences. I am doing my best to be careful to cross-reference the data that I review before including it in my personal notes, making sure to scrutinize the sources the authors have used. In my investigations, I have tried to ferret out the voices that actually have done their research before passing along the information that they have acquired. Quick tip, before wasting your money buying a book, go to a bookstore or library that has the book you are interested in, go to the back of the book and see if the author cites their sources. If they do, you’ll see what influenced them in developing their own theories, not to mention give you more to read. I don’t want to spend my time reading something that in the end is just someone spouting off their personal opinion with nothing to actually back up their contrived reasoning. I want to ensure that I am reading something of substantial value that is critically reasoned, whether it is something I agree with or not. I find that learning all sides of an issue is best before formulating one’s own conclusions.

I have managed to uncover a few of those responsible voices and am still making every effort to locate more. I have even discovered some on social media, as well as video and podcast formats in addition to books. In any format, I have found that there are sound voices as well as those that either just want to try to grab a little fame or make a quick buck. I am neither of those. In an effort to help those that may need help acquiring information, I will compile a resources section on my website that lists resources that I have incorporated into my own practice, but by no means should you take my word as gospel. Do your own research, by doing so, you can formulate your own educated opinion. Remember to take everything with a grain of salt.

There is so much information that I need to learn, but so much of it is incorrect. How am I to know which I am to listen to? You silly girl, listen to your intuition. It hasn't let you down yet.

-The Modern Sea Witch

[modernseawitch]

I decided to check out a few metaphysical and occult shops while traveling. I stopped into Alchemy & Ashes yesterday and was greeted by their friendly staff. They allowed me to peruse their wares undisturbed but were available if I had any questions. The store is broken up into little rooms, each showcasing a different artisan's work, as well as their own branded items. I wanted to buy everything in sight but restrained myself selecting some Angelica root to replenish my supply and some incense. Their prices are quite reasonable and they also offer other services by appointment. It is definitely worth the drive if you live in the greater Tampa/St. Petersburg area to check them out. A bonus is that I can shop their online when I'm not in the local area. The Modern Sea Witch https://www.modernseawitch.com #themodernseawitch #modernseawitch #myjourney #modernseawitchblog #modernseawitchvibes #seawitch #seawitchvibes #witch #witchy #witchyvibes #witchcraft #witchesofinstagram #witchesofinstagram🔮🌙 #spiritual #wordstoremember #inspiration #photography #pagan #paganlife #pagansofinstagram #pagansofig #occult #occultshop #witchcraftshop (at Alchemy & Ashes) https://www.instagram.com/p/CeRedWvpwTS/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[modernseawitch]

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Spring provides me with inspiration even though Summer is my favorite time of year. I don't do well in the Winter months with all of the starkness of the season all around me. Spring brings with it renewed hope and the chance to begin again. What is your favorite season? -The Modern Sea Witch https://modernseawitch.com #quoteoftheday #themodernseawitch #modernseawitch #myjourney #modernseawitchblog #modernseawitchvibes #seawitch #seawitchvibes #witch #witchy #witchyvibes #witchcraft #witchesofinstagram #witchesofinstagram🔮🌙 #spiritual #wordstoremember #inspiration #photography #conservancy #stewardship #dailyinspiration #spring #springtime #springfever #gardening https://www.instagram.com/p/CdirIF_Fqg3/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[modernseawitch]

Lurk in the Shadows or Dance in the Light: My Struggle with Fear

I struggled with the decision to publicly write about my practice. Writing everything down is advice that I’ve heard frequently from many. The best way to make improvements as a practitioner would be to document everything. I realized that I needed to record my journey from there on out, now that I was no longer hiding my practice. But should I keep my thoughts private, shadowed and hidden or make them public, putting them in the spotlight? Fear, rooted deep inside, flowed through me like a poisonous tide, exerting its control over me. Then during a meditation, a little glimmer of courage in my core sparked as I sensed a change in my approach was in order to further my growth, both as a witch and as a person. It was my inner voice reaching out from the murky depths she had been banished to. I had been working so hard to connect with her again, she had been locked away for too long in my quest to appease others. I felt that spark ignite and begin to grow, ultimately leading me to my decision. I needed to put myself out there and take a chance on myself. And who knows, maybe it will help someone just like me. I have been lurking in the shadows long enough, it’s time to dance in the light.

In this new chapter of my life, I have been on a deep delve of research into the craft. There is an absolute plethora of information available now. It’s a bit overwhelming at times but I am enjoying fully being able to explore to my heart’s content. My husband has wondered if I actually sleep anymore, I’m always reading or watching something witchy related. I can’t help myself; I’m making up for all those years that I didn’t allow myself to access the information. While some of what’s available is obviously created just to make money, I have found some good resources. I will compile a list of recommended books, websites, social media, and any other resources on the website as I come across them. I may even explore filming videos and posting them on YouTube as another avenue for sharing the information that I learn.

As I’ve finally allowed myself to research and discover different ways to expand my practice, I decided to purchase a tarot deck. I know that for a lot of people, this is one of the first things they purchase when they have a curiosity about witchcraft and the occult, but I didn’t want any traces of those subjects coming back to me that could create a negative image of myself to those I thought mattered at the time. I reached deep inside and felt that ember of courage still aglow and decided I would go to a local metaphysical shop. I had never set foot in one. In this day and age, I do most of my shopping online and could have easily purchased a deck in that fashion. But now that I had decided to break out of my shell and take the leap, I wanted to make the purchase in person. I wanted to be in a space of like-minded people. I needed to make a declaration. I was telling Fear that I would no longer allow it to control me, binding my tongue, rendering my limbs useless. I was taking back my life.

The tinkling of bells announced my entrance and the two clerks looked up to greet me warmly. The scent of patchouli incense wafted in the air, letting me know I was home. It was a Saturday, not to mention the Full Moon was to appear later that evening, so the shop was packed with patrons from all walks of life. There was a dazzling array of crystals-all shapes, sizes, and colors. There were so many that there were white boxes stacked in front of the counters that you were allowed to peruse if you didn’t find what you were looking for in the open shelves. An entire wall just of incense, shelf after shelf of books, counters full of dried herbs. Cauldrons! There were actual cauldrons of varying sizes to suit your needs. Candles in a rainbow of colors, from tea lights to large pillars, as well as decorative holders. I felt like a little kid in a candy store. I wandered the aisles for a bit, taking it all in. I people watched a bit too, trying to see if anyone thought that I looked out of place being there. Then I reminded myself that didn’t matter, I was there for myself and didn’t need anyone’s approval. I finally selected my deck and a guide to help me understand the meanings, as well as some crystals that felt good in my hand when I picked them up. I left there with my head held high and a spring in my step. In my constant battle with my self-doubt and Fear, I had won this round.

I went home and wanted to work with the cards right away but needed to help make dinner and spend time with my family. Later that evening, after everyone had gone to bed, I finally opened the deck and the companion book that would help me decipher the meanings of the cards. It was eye-opening how much information there was to process. I still had not looked into card meanings before my purchase. For a couple of days prior to making my purchase, I watched videos on YouTube where the content creators flipped through different decks showing each card so that I could see if I connected with the imagery and visual style to help me narrow down my choices. After losing count of the number of videos I watched, I concluded I wanted to start with the traditional Rider Waite Smith deck. I wanted to build a foundation of tarot knowledge based on the consensus of interpretations used for more than a century. I was ready to learn about tarot but at the same time I was still a complete skeptic. I settled in to perform my first reading after purifying and consecrating the deck and I was left utterly astounded. I performed a Past, Present, Future spread and even without looking at the book that I purchased for guidance I could see that the Past and Present cards eerily reflected my life and hoped that the Future card would hold true. I know that tarot helps us to hone our intuitive side and we interpret the imagery to apply it to the stated question but time and time again since that first spread it has amazed me how often the cards that I pull for my readings are the exact lesson I needed to learn. There haven’t been many occasions where I had to struggle to see how a particular card related to the question that I posed. While I want to learn the meanings of the cards without having to rely on books and guides, I also have so many other topics that I need to dedicate time to. However, I am getting more familiar with them and am enjoying the self-reflection that it has encouraged.

Remember the signs that I talked about last week? Well, a flurry of them hit me during this morning’s tarot spread. I was doing a spread that I call the “Lesson of the Day.” It's a three card pull with the first card representing me, the second card is the lesson to be learned, and the third card is the outcome depending on whether I heed the insight from the lesson or not. The cards pointed out to me that I was still struggling with making my decision about being open with my practice. I had told my immediate family but not my friends yet. I kept telling myself I would tell them whenever we were catching up with each other. However, when asked how I was doing and whether I had anything new to share, I’d feel my throat constrict and I couldn’t make my tongue form the words. Fear's control was still lingering, and I was trapped in its toxic undertow. I have to stop hiding. Allowing Fear to be in control, letting me believe that I will humiliate my family and myself, lose the respect of a friend, or worse, lose the friendship entirely is doing me no good. I need to stop allowing Fear to have power over me. My inner voice is clearer than I’ve ever known her to be, and that fire fueled by courage is growing in strength within me. I have decided to tell my friends and would like to answer their questions. Fear was clouding my judgment, not allowing me to give my friends the opportunity to make their own decision. I don’t have many close friends and the ones that I do have, I know in my heart that they wouldn’t feel anything less for me for revealing my truth to them.

-The Modern Sea Witch

[modernseawitch]

The Puzzle: Witch are you really happy?

It wasn’t until the last few years that I really started to piece things together. For the greater portion of my life, I was intent on being the best at whatever I was doing at that time and doing it according to what society’s social norms dictated. If I had friends over for dinner, I would prepare a meal that was Instagram worthy and if the evening didn’t turn out the way I thought it should, I took it hard and dwelled on it internally for days. If I saw a picture or post on Facebook, I would only like or share it if I thought others would approve of the image or post that I shared. I didn’t want anyone to think negatively of me. There were a lot of goals over time that I had set for myself that I just did not attain and was absolutely crushed every time that occurred, which was more often that I care to admit. I hid it when something affected me negatively, I needed to be the solid foundation for my family. It was completely draining, both physically and mentally and I lost myself. I was completely focused on that outward image I was trying to achieve and the things that I could control. Control, that lovely illusion. As soon as you think you have it in hand, it evaporates into the ether.

Time and again, control would slip away from me. Signs began to appear that I needed to make a change. When I began to notice them, I cast them aside. I kept telling myself that I had to do things the “right” way and I would continue to plod along. Ha! Look at where that has gotten me. My soul was worn threadbare, to near nothingness and I wasn’t seeing any hope in sight. Luckily for me, the universe took it upon itself to come at me hard with signs that I could no longer brush aside. Some were subtle, others smacked me right in the face when they presented themselves. I am not listing them as I don’t want to influence you as to what should be taken as a sign, but I do believe if you stop and listen to your intuition, you’ll know. I have no doubt that signs occur when the situation calls for it and should be listened to in order to help you make better choices in your life.

I needed to outwardly acknowledge that I was a witch. The time had come for me to leave the safety of the broom closet. I had explored as far as I could go with the limitations that I had placed on my practice. I had been slowly emerging from the dense fog that had engulfed me and found a little clarity as my practice in secret grew. Meditation became a larger part of my practice as it would not be immediately linked to witchcraft and provided me with the techniques to aid me in reflection and contemplation. Grounding, or earthing as some call it, also became more important. I have always enjoyed being out in nature, but now it made sense to me why. I need to feel that connection with the earth and the universe beyond in order to help me feel more myself. When I dig my bare toes into the sand, go for a walk in the woods, or even just sit and gaze at the stars and moon, I can feel the negativity begin to melt away from me. We live in a modern world and are surrounded by man-made creations, and at times we need to strip away those modern trappings, get back to a simpler setting so that we can more clearly feel that universal connection.

These times of contemplation made me aware that I wasn’t truly happy, I was just trudging along in life. It wasn’t that I wasn’t happy with my husband or my children, it was that I wasn’t happy with myself. I hadn’t allowed time for myself for the greater part of my life. I didn’t have enough time, energy, or resources to make myself a priority, my family was my focus. But now that my children were not needing me as much, I began to bring the focus back to myself. And I most certainly didn’t like what I was seeing. But I didn’t know how to fix this. That’s when paralysis set in. I didn’t know how to fix it, so I wouldn’t think about it. What’s the point? I’m really good at ignoring an issue when I set my mind to it. It’s a survival technique I developed at a very young age.

Going back to those signs the universe was presenting. When they started happening regularly, they were fairly subtle. Sometimes, I wasn't sure that it even was a sign. I didn't want to create signs out of thin air or turn simple events into a meaningful event. But during that time frame, a thought started to float to the surface of my conscious mind, “What can I do to be happy?” After the seed of that thought was planted in my mind, the signs started coming faster and were more obvious. There was no mistaking them now. I knew they were telling me I needed to figure out how to fix this, but I knew I couldn’t access the information that I wanted given the limitations I placed on myself. It was time. The closet had shrunk to the size of a suitcase, and I didn’t fit inside of it anymore.

I can say that it was the right choice for me, and I am glad that I am no longer living with the restrictions that I placed on myself. I am the happiest that I have been in a very long time and the weight that has been lifted from me is obvious not only to myself but to my family and friends as well. I am learning to embrace all of my qualities, even the ones I’m not crazy about. It is a slow process and I’m sure I’ll stumble at times. I’m working on outwardly expressing myself for solely my own personal satisfaction. Whether that is through my writing, my photography, my craft, or any other medium I choose, I am doing these things for me, no one else, and to help me be a better person.

-The Modern Sea Witch