#season 11 closure

[dionysus-complex]

after ~9 months @cathartes-aurae/ @langlystangoaudition and I are watching our last episode of The X-Files tonight...end of an era :(

[grimeye-j]

Also, WTF was that last scene?! What happened in those 2 hours?!?!? Like what?

[fox-guardian]

hey guys did you know that um. did you know. first of all did you know i'm losing my mind, secondly, do y'all remember in tma how when someone reads a written statement, they don't really Stop unless they're interrupted? and they read the whole thing easy cheesy, no issues with reading whatever words are there? like. jon literally could read french for a whole statement and was Fine. granted, that's Jon, but like nobody else struggled with pronunciations and whatnot (that i can recall)

presumably, this is an eye thing. either as employees of the institute, or because everyone there is just also eye-aligned in some degree (melanie had the ghost hunting show, the eye is fond of martin, etc)

and then there's tim in season 3 ep 86

[Sigh] Statement of… uh, Benjamin Hatendi… Hateendi? Regarding a… [papers rustling] a blanket. Dead friend. Monster. Regarding his unavoidable and gruesome end. How he tried to hide. He couldn’t. Statement is from… 1983, March 2nd. And I guess… [long sigh] I guess I’m doing this one. Tim Stoker. Archival assistant… Archival prisoner at the Magnus Institute.

correct me if im wrong but i don't recall anyone struggling with pronunciations before this bit. but that's not even the biggest thing here, that's just a lil Taste, a lil Flavor.

note the phrasing there. "Regarding his unavoidable and gruesome end." why would he say this when the written text on the statement says this:

Uh, right. Benjamin Hatendi’s account of… [rustling pages] oh for… a, a strange encounter. Er, statement date, March 2nd, 1983. Melanie King recording. Apparently.

"a strange encounter". that's it. nothing about an unavoidable death, just a "strange encounter". Tim Why Did You Say That.

why would our dear timothy bimothy, who is being pushed to the brink, who is becoming rapidly more depressed and losing hope, say this?

this isn't the only time he's said some weirdly grim shit tho (ep 104)

There was never really any hope for me, though, was there? This was how it was always going to go.

and then there's this bit from elias apparently having Looked into tim (also 104)

TIM All right, hit me with your X-ray eyes then, boss. What do you see? ELIAS Disruption. An unpredictable, angry man with nothing left but the desire to feel in some way revenged. TIM [Sarcastic] Ooh, terrifying! Surely only magic could have let you see so deep inside my very soul.

"nothing left" but the desire to feel revenged. and tim doesn't dispute this, because it's true.

when he first joined the institute he did so in order to look for answers about danny, but then he stopped seriously looking. and now that the circus is back, this is all the drive he has left. not looking for answers, just wanting revenge. closure. an end, if you will.

this is Literally It For Him. a couple lines later he suggests elias kill him, he's At The Breaking Point.

he is so tired, he's lost all hope, and he's saying all this grim shit about "unavoidable death" and "this is how it was always going to go" like hmmmm sounds familiar doesn't it. DOESN'T IT (<- is going insane)

(ep 11) [....] despite the rapid response of the paramedics and how much of his medical history I had immediately to hand, there was nothing I could do to save him. (ep 11) I have no responsibility to try and prevent whatever fate is coming for you. Based on my previous experience, such a thing is likely impossible anyway,[....] (ep 121) There. That was it. That was our fate; where we would always be.

hmmmm sounds a bit like oliver huh? everyone's favorite ex-accountant avatar of the end?? right??

but then there's this last bit i have from ep 86.

why did he stop reading the statement

Statement. “My parents never let me have a nightlight. I was always afraid, but they were ju–” Ugh, this is stupid.

why did he do that. again, correct me if im wrong but when else has someone just Stopped Reading like that without someone or something else interrupting them? why could tim just stop himself?

my theory is this: at this point, tim is completely gone from being aligned with the eye. he no longer seeks to know what happened to danny, he just wants closure. he doesn't wanna do any statement work, and he keeps mentioning these tidbits about hopelessness and the inevitability of terrible events, specifically death.

the eye isn't compelling him to read the statements like it does the others, because it doesn't have as strong a hold anymore. the grip is slipping from him. and by the time the unknowing rolls around, maybe it's lost him for good. maybe he finally fell into a different power he never meant to serve, and yet, he does.

and maybe. just maybe. because i'm so not in denial. but MAYBE. he did die in the unknowing. but maybe he got better.

basically end!tim truthers rise up, this is how end!tim kayaking with his bf oliver banks can still win, etc etc I'm Going Feral <3

[hope-ur-ok]

Surprise Song Master post ~ European Leg

5/9 Paris, FR: Paris + LOML

5/10 Paris, FR: Is It Over Now?/OOTW + My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys

5/11 Paris, FR: Hey Stephen + Maroon

5/12 Paris, FR: The Alchemy / Treacherous + Begin Again / Paris

5/17 Stockholm, SE: I Think He Knows / Gorgeous + Peter

5/18 Stockholm, SE: Guilty As Sin? + Say Don't Go / Welcome to New York / Clean

5/19 Stockholm, SE: Message In A Bottle / How You Get The Girl / New Romantics + How Did It End?

5/24 Lisbon, PT: Come Back... Be Here / The Way I Loved You / The Other Side of the Door + Fresh Out the Slammer / High Infidelity

5/25 Lisbon, PT: The Tortured Poets Department / Now That We Don't Talk + You're On Your Own Kid / Long Live

5/29 Madrid, ES: Sparks Fly / I Can Fix Him (No Really Can) + I Look In People's Windows / Snow On the Beach

5/30 Madrid, ES: Our Song / Jump Then Fall + King of My Heart

6/2 Lyon, FR: The Prophecy / Long Story Short + Fifteen / You're On Your Own Kid

6/3 Lyon, FR: Glitch / Everything Has Changed + Chloe Or Sam Or Sophia Or Marcus

6/7 Edinburgh, Scotland UK: Would've Could've Should've / I Know Places + 'Tis the Damn Season / Daylight

6/8 Edinburgh, Scotland UK: The Bolter / Getaway Car + All of the Girls You Loved Before / Crazier

6/9 Edinburgh, Scotland UK: It's Nice To Have A Friend / Dorothea + Haunted / Exile

6/13 Liverpool, England UK: I Can See You / Mine + Cornelia Street / Maroon

6/14 Liverpool, England UK: This Is What You Came For / Gold Rush + The Great War / You're Losing Me

6/15 Liverpool, England UK: Carolina / No Body No Crime + The Manuscript / Red

6/18 Cardiff, Wales UK: I Forgot That You Existed / This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things + I Hate It Here / The Lakes

6/21 London, England UK: Hits Different / Death By A Thousand Cuts + The Black Dog / Come Back Be Here / Maroon

6/22 London, England UK: thanK you aIMee / Mean + Castles Crumbling w/ Hayley Williams

6/23 London, England UK: Us w/ Gracie Abrams + Out Of The Woods / Is It Over Now? / Clean

6/28 Dublin, IE: State of Grace / You're On Your Own Kid + Sweet Nothing / Hoax

6/29 Dublin, IE: The Albatross / Dancing With Our Hands Tied + This Love / Ours

6/30 Dublin, IE: Clara Bow / The Lucky One + You’re On Your Own Kid

7/4 Amsterdam, NL: Guilty as Sin? / Untouchable + The Archer / Question...?

7/5 Amsterdam, NL: imgonnagetyouback / Dress + You Are In Love / Cowboy Like Me

7/6 Amsterdam, NL: Sweeter than fiction / Holy Ground + Mary's Song / So High School / Everything Has Changed

7/9 Zürich, CH: Right Where You Left Me / All You Had To Do Was Stay + Last Kiss / Sad Beautiful Tragic

7/10 Zürich, CH: Closure / A Perfectly Good Heart + Robin / Never Grow Up

7/13 Milan, IT: The 1 / Wonderland + I Almost Do / The Moment I Knew

7/14 Milan, IT: Mr. Perfectly Fine / Red + Getaway Car / Out Of The Woods

7/17 Gelsenkirchen, DE: Superstar / Invisible String + "Slut!" / False God

7/18 Gelsenkirchen, DE: Speak Now / Hey Stephen + This Is Me Trying / Labyrinth

7/19 Gelsenkirchen, DE: Paper Rings / Stay Stay Stay + It's Time To Go / Better Man

7/23 Hamburg, DE: Teardrops On My Guitar / The Last Time + We Were Happy / Happiness

7/24 Hamburg, DE: The Last Great American Dynasty / Run + Nothing New / Dear Reader

7/27 Munich, DE: Fresh Out The Slammer / You Are In Love + Ivy / Call It What You Want

7/28 Munich, DE: I Don't Wanna Live Forever / Imgonnagetyouback + LOML / Don't You

8/1 Warsaw, PL: Mirrorball / Clara Bow + Suburban Legends / New Years Day

8/2 Warsaw, PL: I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can) / I Can See You + Red / Maroon

8/3 Warsaw, PL: Today Was A Fairytale / I Think He Knows + The Black Dog / Exile

8/15 London, England UK: Everything Has Changed / End Game / Thinking Out Loud w/Ed Sheeran + King Of My Heart / The Alchemy

8/16 London, England UK: London Boy + Dear John / Sad Beautiful Tragic

8/17 London, England UK: I Did Something Bad + My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys / Coney Island

8/19 London, England UK: Long Live / Change + The Archer / You're On Your Own Kid

8/20 London, England UK: Death By A Thousand Cut / Getaway Car w/Jack Antonoff + So Long, London

[cjrae]

Stunted Love. Or: The Theme of MaoMao's little finger.

Maomao's little finger is a recurring motif in the Apothecary Diaries, and it receives even more emphasis in the anime's first season - it represents her belief that romantic love leads to pain and destruction. Spoilers primarily for the anime, but also the epilogue of light novel four and Chapter 15 of light novel six below.

Love In A Cage

The motif is first introduced in "The Unsettling Matter of the Spirit" - Concubine Fuyou's story. Maomao has already noted the parallels between the red light district and the Inner Palace, but here we see what happens when romantic love is introduced into the mix. On paper, Concubine Fuyou is a literal object of pity. Her personhood is being gifted to an officer who recently distinguished himself on the front lines, discarded after having failed to please the Emperor. It's telling that this is one of the first times we see Jinshi interacting with a consort where he is completely serious, without bringing his charm to bear. We never hear him say anything, but it's clear that he's communicating the Emperor's order with respect and understanding the gravity of the consequences for Fuyou.

As the events of the episode unfold, the parallels between courtesans and consorts get stronger as Maomao introduces the concept of having a contract bought out - if a man wants a courtesan enough, she is also an object to be purchased, albeit at potentially astronomical price. At first glance, it would seem like these women have absolutely no power in these scenarios - but by the end of the episode, Maomao shows us the feminine side of this transaction - how a woman can manipulate the system she is trapped by in order to get what she wants. All she has to do is lower her value - a rather counterintuitive measure that can go horribly wrong all too easily, as we see later.

And what Concubine Fuyou wants is to escape the Inner Palace to be with the man she loves - a task that she succeeds at. She has played a long, patient game in the service of freedom. Trapped in the cage of the Inner Palace herself, Maomao holds her scarred finger against the freedom of the sky and wonders what kind of medicine love would make.

Devotion

We see further flashbacks to Maomao's past through multiple episodes, but the next time the concept of love is brought up is when Fengming is confessing her role in the death of Consort Ah-Duo's baby in "Honey" (episode 11). Maomao is brought up short by Fengming's confession - she flat out says to the audience that she's never loved anyone with that depth of devotion Fengming displays toward Ah-Duo, so she doesn't know how Fengming feels. But if she doesn't have empathy to offer, she does have a rough kindness. Another person might have said that Ah-Duo deserved to know why her son died, that the knowledge might have provided closure. Maomao, however, believes that knowing the baby's cause of death would only cause more pain (it's never the crime and always about the cover-up) without providing any actual benefit.

With these two episodes framing her early character development we see that, whatever Maomao's natural inclinations are (and I will leave discussion of neuro divergency to those better qualified to discuss it), there is a certain distance between Maomao and her emotions most of the time. It is implied that this distancing from her emotions is a trauma response as the image of a woman holding a knife above her head while kneeling on a bed is shown but not explained (it is the only recurring image during the montage before the discussion about her potential execution with Jinshi).

Lakan and Fengxian

In "Lakan" (episode 18) the motif begins recurring more often as Maomao's parentage is revealed. We've caught glimpses of the sick woman in the annex before, but as the camera pans over the bed, it's clear that this is Maomao's mother (as always in anime, the hair is a dead giveaway). We've seen Maomao in this room, always curled in a fetal position, staring with blank eyes, but here we see Maomao actually caring for a woman who she describes as driving her out over and over again. The camera's focus is on Maomao's eyes as she watches her mother continuing to deteriorate - they're blank yet again, echoing her earlier line of "This is stupid. She's gone."

This is not the look of a girl who genuinely doesn't care about her mother. The image of her mother with the knife upraised is straight out of recurring nightmares that wake her gasping with terror and continue to haunt her after she's returned to work. While there is no AFFECTION involved, there are certainly very strong emotions here. Later, in the bath with Meimei, Maomao wonders if Meimei's in love - and immediately shies away from the thought, insisting that "love is an emotion I'm sure I left behind in the womb."

Interestingly, this is immediately belied as the Three Princesses (the women who took on the maternal role that her mother discarded) begin to pamper Maomao in the bath, and she relaxes into their touch, flushed with belonging and pleasure at their attention.

Confrontation

In "Blue Roses," (episode 22), everything has built to a head. By hiding Maomao back into the Rear Palace, Jinshi is acting as her shield - and Lakan responds with a power play. Both he and Jinshi are aware that Lakan knows his true identity, so Lakan provokes Jinshi with a political test. "Nothing is impossible" for a man with Jinshi's power - so providing some blue roses at a garden party in early spring should be simple, right? It's a near impossible task and Lakan knows it - even if Jinshi were to figure out how to dye the roses to be the appropriate color, they're still out of season.

Up until now, Maomao's response to Lakan has been to hide. But, with Jinshi's reputation on the line and seeing how worn out he is, Maomao has finally had enough. So she takes Lakan's challenge on and, while she's in the process of growing the hothouse roses so that Jinshi can best Lakan, she diverts unwanted attention from the Crystal Palace's handmaidens by showing Xiaolan how to do a manicure - something that draws attention to the deformed pinky on her hand and changes her perspective of the damage to the finger.

The art should be paid attention to here - we see close up shots of two other people's hands after having the manicure done - Xiaolan and Consort Lihua. In both of these shots, there's some subtle detail paid to their little fingers as well - Xiaolan's is ever so slightly crooked rather than perfectly straight, while Lihua flexes her fingers so that the pinky is extended as she looks at her hands. In the next shot, Maomao has done her nails as well - and when Jinshi draws attention to the fact that he's surprised she would do her nails (like Hongiang, Maomao usually prefers work over fashion), she looks at the finger and remarks that, even though her little finger is twisted and scarred, it looks better than it did before - an acknowledgement that the finger is not actually a hindrance, but a piece of her identity.

Healing

Giving Lakan the opportunity to finally do right by Fengxian is the most grace and forgiveness that Maomao can extend to either of her parents. Their romantic love is certainly sympathetic to an outsider, but Maomao was shaped by the consequences. Lakan's carelessness and Fengxian's willingness to break the rules of the pleasure district in order to deliberately lower her value so that she could be with the man she loved, is the guiding cautionary tale of her life.

But Maomao has also grown over the season. She is neither the terrified little girl, abandoned by mother and father alike (however unintentionally on Lakan's part) nor a teenager full of fear fueled rage at Lakan's persistence. She is Luomen's daughter and proud of that fact - she has found her family and a place in the world. It is with that more adult understanding of the world around her that she dances atop the wall of the Rear Palace, giving her parents the only thing she can, which is her blessing and best wishes for their short future, as she sends her mother off.

Sure enough, who is watching her as she takes a step toward a more mature identity but Jinshi? Other characters have provided a shield between Maomao and Lakan - Verdigris' madam, Meimei and even Luomen. But it is on Jinshi's behalf that Maomao decided to face Lakan herself. She loves her adoptive dad and granny and sisters with all the affection she never received from Fengxian, but Maomao's actions have always spoken much louder than her words - Jinshi protected her and she, in turn, chose to face her childhood bogeyman to help him.

Is it stating the obvious that Maomao tripping and Jinshi catching her is an obvious metaphor for falling in love?

As she dances on the wall, we see the two seemingly disparate sides of her identity coalesce into a whole. The moment she lets down her hair is a uniquely Japanese moment of eroticism (this is why maiko and geisha use the oshiroi that bare the nape of their necks), even as she's also deliberately reapplied her freckles.

The moment she realizes that Jinshi truly sees all of her in a uniquely emotional moment, she trips and is made terrifyingly vulnerable as she nearly goes over the edge - only to be caught safely in Jinshi's arms.

Safely back atop the wall, the little finger comes up one more time - except that this time, instead of looking at the damage inflicted and seeing the scar, Maomao looks at her pinky and shows it to Jinshi, telling him what sounds like a strangely gruesome medical fact. That a fingertip can regrow if cut off. For all the trauma that her biological parents caused her, for all that her pinky will be scarred for the rest of her life, the wound did heal. Maomao has healed - she is capable of friendship, loyalty and love that can inspire devotion - even if she rarely displays open affection.

Love Creates Fear

This motif comes back again, at the end of light novel 4 (what will be the end of Season 2, if the studio continues to stick to two light novels a season for pacing, which I expect they will). Jinshi has officially cast aside his cover as a eunuch and stepped into the political limelight as the Imperial Brother. Maomao, as a result of their adventures, has returned home, to her apothecary shop and, as she works she thinks about how everything has changed.

"Jinshi must have finally gone back to being whoever he really was. Maomao didn't know his real name: she couldn't have used it even if she did. The worlds they lived in were simply too different…Anyway, now that Jinshi was no longer a eunuch, he couldn't get away with keeping some lowborn girl around him…So it was for the best, really, that Maomao had come back to the apothecary's shop in the pleasure district."

As Maomao ruminates to herself about how she will never see Jinshi again, she retreats to what she knows best - medicine. She's got her emotions under lock and key and she's begun experimenting, working on creating a more potent painkiller. However, her pain tolerance is too high to work with her previous methods.

Or, to lay the metaphor bare, Maomao has dealt with abandonment before, but not like this. Her usual methods aren't working - so it's time to up the ante. What she does next is extremely telling.

"'Got to cut deeper if I want to be sure'. Maomao looked at her left hand, then tied some string firmly around her pinky. She stood and took a small knife from a cabinet. 'Here goes!'

Just as she was about to bring the knife down, a beautiful voice interrupted her: 'WHAT are you doing?'

Without a word, she turned to see a man in an unusual mask standing in the entryway of the shop…'Done with all your work?' Maomao asked, undoing the string around her finger and putting the knife back in the cabinet."

The thought that she and Jinshi are now living in such different worlds that they will never see each other again is painful enough that cutting her finger off in a thinly justified experiment is preferable to feeling her own emotions. What Maomao wants in this moment is a return to the emotional numbness of the past - only this time, she will do the damage herself.

But Jinshi is not Lakan and abandoning Maomao for any reason is simply not an option. Just as he caught her on the wall, Jinshi catches her again. A prince is standing in an apothecary shop on the edges of the red-light district, a place where he should not be - except for the fact that it's where Maomao is.

Connection and Communication

Finally, as a callback toward the end of light novel six, Jinshi and Maomao are beginning to reconnect after Jinshi screwed up and lost a lot of emotional ground in light novel five's epilogue, and he does the following.

"She reached out for the package, which Jinshi had put behind his back, but he planted a palm on her belly to keep her from sitting up and she couldn't reach it. She kicked her legs from sheer frustration and this time he grabbed her ankle. She was just trying to decide what he might be planning when he brushed the tip of his pinky finger along the back of her foot.

'Hrk?!' Maomao choked, squirming...The back of her foot, and her back as well, were hopelessly vulnerable to a gentle brush of the fingers.

'M-Master Jinshi...That's...not...fair!'"

While Jinshi is still the instigator in this scene, this is the the first instance of romantic and sexual contact that Maomao accepts, eventually bursting out laughing - and when he gets that laughter, Jinshi also immediately backs off, accepting that he has pushed her as far as she can go right now. But that first contact was via that tiny fingertip representing love.

His hard-learned patience is rewarded when Maomao is finally willing to speak to Jinshi about how she's feeling about his desire to marry her, first obliquely as they discuss the plot of a very familiar tragic romance, before she addresses the issue directly.

"Instead of answering, she murmured, 'I don't want to be an enemy.' Jinshi gave her a sidelong look as if to ask whose enemy she meant. 'To Empress Gyokuyou,' she said.

Would Jinshi understand what she was saying? If not, that was fine, Maomao thought. There were things even he didn't know.

'You - '

He seemed about to ask her something else when a horse whinnied outside..."

Maomao may be hesitant, she may feel very confused, but she finally gives Jinshi something to work with here - communicating to him not that she simply doesn't care about him that way, but that she has a very real, concrete fear about what a romantic relationship with him would mean, not only for them, but for everyone else around them.

That's a lot to balance on the tip of a pinky.

[daisy-does-art-and-stuff]

I GATHERED ALLLLL MY EVIDENCE TOWARDS THERE BEING AN ACT THREE

ITS UNDER READ MORE BC THERES A LOT MORE SPOILERS THAN MY LAST COUPLE POSTS

every finale for every season had a panning shot of the sky with "the end" showing up in black text. we didnt get that in this episode (https://x.com/goblonglo/status/1845168766839046382)

all the plotholes?? the things left unfilled?? there is no way theyd leave it off so open-ended. even hfjones ending had more closure

most movies have 3 acts. the 2nd act is known for being the part where everything seems hopeless and theres no saving them. we're still in the "all is lost" portion yall!!

there was a member that said something along the lines of "keep an eye out for what mores to come" in a tweet that was deleted not long after it was made. this implies They werent meant to spoil that there was more coming (https://x.com/meepletism/status/1845164453970706672, https://x.com/eyewellduh/status/1845156100779180075)

no one has ever had a solid answer whether or not there was only act 1 and act 2. not anyone has said a word about it yet. sure, theres no confirmation, but theres also no denying

the entire "how bow got her tail" thing. every time they made her start talking about it, it cuts away. we dont now whats up with that yet, which implies that it spoils what its gonna be used for in the future

THEY JUST HIRED NEW ANIMATORS!!! like LITERALLY just hired a big batch of new animators. there is no way that they did it just for one last part of the series just to end it so soon.

in the post where they promoted the release of ii17 on twitter, it states the series CONTINUES, not CONCLUDES. if you look back on old posts, like the one from the iii finale, it states in big bold letters THIS IS THE END IT ENDS HERE but it doesnt do that (https://x.com/AnimationEpic/status/1845134881098961164, https://x.com/AnimationEpic/status/1764314840410021903)

kinda hand in hand with above but the description of this video compared to other finale episodes looks like just a normal episode. theres no "thanks for watching the series" or anything. the ii team wouldnt just Leave it off like that i dont think

adams account being deactivated over on twitter due to his whole "running away from mephoneX" thing has to be relevant right. they have to reactivate it at some important point. like when act 3 comes out? right??

i cant think of anything more if anyone else has something to add please do so. also if theres anything here that doesnt make sense i apologize my brain is in such a whirlwind

editting this for a few new reasons

11. every season so far has had 18 episodes (if you dont count the iii finale being broken into two separate episodes). we're currently at 17

12. brian asked to contact someone in regards to credit sequences which is Probably in relation to the ii finale. we havent seen that yet so either it wasnt for ii or theres Another Episode for us to See It In. proof in posts comments

13. in the last meetups, a suitcase plush was hinted at. theyve also talked about the plush on stream. we havent been advertised this plush yet so theyre likely saving it for the last episode

[paperstorm]

The amount of trauma Owen Strand has had to endure is just truly untenable. Losing his baby brother to a drowning accident and thinking it was his fault, his family breaking up and also thinking it was his fault, becoming a firefighter to save people to make up for not being able to save his brother and undoubtably losing countless people and thinking he should've been able to save every one of them, meeting the love of his life and having a perfect little boy but then 9/11 happening only a few short years later, losing his entire crew that day and being cursed with even more survivor's guilt on TOP of the river of trauma of being a first responder that day, his marriage falling apart and becoming unable to be a present father because of the PTSD, watching his son struggle and slip probably into underage drinking first and then harder drugs and a full blown addiction, TK getting clean and then relapsing, TK getting clean again and then being cheated on and relapsing again, taking them to Austin where he thinks they will be safe only to watch go TK get shot and fall into two comas and a third (forced, this time) relapse, feeling so responsible for the 126 (his new family) and then watching it fall apart after season 2, Gwyn being killed and not being able to save her, trying to be so optimistic about falling in love again but it never works out, meeting his half-brother and finally getting some closure on what happened to his family as a child but then not only losing Robert too but having to be the one who ends Robert's life because Robert asked him to and he promised and feeling like he has to carry that weight around forever in secret, like. This man is a mountain. Despite his flaws despite his main character syndrome this man has been through more than anyone could stand, the fact that he's still upright is astounding. Rashad please let my man rest.

[fandom]

How 'bout that Riverdale finale, y'all?

After seven bizarre seasons, Riverdale finally ended in the most Riverdale-possible way. The cast of What We Do In The Shadows sat down with us before the SAG strike and answered a ton of your questions, which you can see here. It's August in the year 2023, so of course the Destiel confession made news again and trended, like, super hard. The first two episodes of Ahsoka have fans clamoring for more. We got our first look at the second season of Our Flag Means Death and if the photos and cast are any indication, it's gonna be incredible. Astarion is reigning supreme as the new Baldur's Gate 3 blorbo. Best of luck to all of the UK given the railway ticket offices closures. Oh also there was a debate in the US between the Republican presidential candidates and Donald Trump did not participate. This is Tumblr's Week in Review.

Riverdale

Donald Trump

Good Omens

What We Do In The Shadows

Destiel

Artists on Tumblr

Our Flag Means Death

Ahsoka

Genshin Impact

Crowley | Good Omens

Aziraphale | Good Omens

Ineffable Husbands | Crowley & Aziraphale, Good Omens

Baldur's Gate 3

The QSMP Minecraft server

Astarion | Baldur's Gate 3

UK Politics

2023 F1 Dutch Grand Prix

Star Wars

Hozier

Neuvillette | Genshin Impact

We'll be taking a break next week! Fandometrics will return on September 11, 2023.

[thisismeracing]

King of my heart | Mick Schumacher

Mick Schumacher rode a lousy wave for quite some time, so when the sky gets cleaner and the sun brighter he just knows something terrible may be in store for him. Whereas y/n was just so magnetic, and the possibilities of life with her seemed better than anything his mind could ever create, that's why, for the first time in forever, he threw carelessly through the window, hoping to get to the finish line before it catches up on him.

Warnings: explicit language, smut, alcohol, angst, and so on, please check each chapter's warnings before reading.

Pairing: Mick Schumacher x Hamilton!reader (she/her)

Soundtrack: here

Series status: complete

A/n: I do not permit my work to be reposted on a different platform. This is my only account, if you see my work somewhere else, please let me know!

Psa. The pics from the social media chapter are not mine.

CHAPTERS

01. siblings or dating (smau)

02. cookies and free rides (smau)

03. breakfast dates and shared clothes (smau)

04. the first time they met (regular c.)

05. shoulder and sugar to lean on (regular c.)

06. paris fashion week and china gp (smau)

07. sharing playlists and history (regular c.)

08. sightseeing and race-week-dump (smau)

09. sharing is caring (regular c.)

10. privacy sign at the door (regular c.)

11. he's got a girlfriend (smau)

12. gathering the fam (smau)

13. spotted and discovered (smau)

14. the past comes to say hello (smau)

15. our love is a secret I'm trying to keep (regular c.)

16. closing doors (regular c.)

17. tulips, just like in Switzerland (smau)

18. red carnations and home (regular c.)

19. not alone tonight (smau)

20. closure, and packing (regular c.)

21. through their eyes (smau)

22. jealousy, jealousy (regular c.)

23. the most beautiful time of the year (smau)

24. king of my heart (regular c.)

DRABBLES & HEADCANONS & EXTRAS

creating a shared playlist

meeting Corinna and Gina

telling Lewis about Mick

Mick defending Yn from a mean journalist

slow mornings together

to build a home ✷

getting matching tattoos

💌 texts between mick and yn

oklahoma, memes, and pov

drivers room's nap, and tis the damn season

©thisismeracing do not copy, steal, or translate my work.

[silverdune]

ateez as oddly specific times of the day.

minors dni. ageless blogs dni. blank blogs dni. you'll be blocked.

a/n: this is just a random idea that suddenly popped into my head. i like abstract concepts lmao lmk what you think! all times in 24hr clock, not season specific, just vibes.

kim hongjoong - 00:00

the transition from one day to the next. the night owl urge to stay awake with the early bird desire to wake up at 6am. where everything feels its most still, its most silent. the liminal space between night and morning.

park seonghwa - 09:32

just in time to grab your coffee. boarding the train at the last second. feeling a productive day ahead. the unsung bliss of rush hour, caught in the midst of the morning buzz. the gentle breeze and the sun peeking through the windows.

jeong yunho - 15:26

the last hurrah of lunch break. eating outside at the local bistro. people watching and making small talk. laughing over smoothies and taking in the sights of everyday life. petting the dog that passes by. smiling to the owner who smiles back.

kang yeosang - 02:56

whispered words into the open space. cups of tea and a heart to heart. reminiscing about the past. not caring to look at the time. quiet laughter and warm smiles. the first yawn, a sign it's now time for you to go to bed. feelings of closure. everything is okay.

choi san - 22:34

bright lights and night life. music pulsing through the walls of every club. restaurants packed with people. traffic on the highway. singing loudly without a care in the world. beating hearts, lots of energy. never slowing down, never getting tired.

song mingi - 11:11

a moment for yourself. a chance to reflect. headphones on, hands in pockets, walking down the street with your favourite playlist on. everyone's a blur, and you're at the centre. deep breaths, no destination, no worries.

jung wooyoung - 20:45

the last bus home. rain hitting the window. sitting at the back, earbuds in, soothing music to calm your stresses. tired from the day, knowing tomorrow is a new one. leaving the bus and heading home. changing into your pjs. watching a movie.

choi jongho - 08:00

an early start. strict routine. breakfast, skincare, coffee. reading and replying to emails. thriving in the mundane. taking care of yourself. cleaning the house and reorganising your things. wearing your favourite shirt. talking to your friends.

× silverdune (ave). do not repost. ×

[willowmosby]

I have over the last 5 months watched all 15 seasons and the immortality special of the original CSI. I have no plans to watch the reboot anytime soon so I thought I would info dump my thoughts, and if love to know how others feel. I will now present a very very long post with breakdown some quick thoughts on the seasons, more thoughts on most of the characters and a few ships.

Tldr: I really enjoyed CSI as a whole and I'm sad to say goodbye to a formula and some characters I've really grown attached to. ( And If there is a good Nick Stokes written into immortality fic please lmk)

Seasons:

I do think the early seasons the most fun/ light hearted, which feels weird to say when it literally opens with Sara investigating Warrick for negligence. I kinda wish I had blogged along or something so I could be more detailed in my response about them.

Like a lot of shows I think it really hit its stride in the middle seasons. If I had to pick a few seasons to watch it be 5-7. It also helps that I had finally gotten used to the lighting.

I think the 9- 11 stretch is too serious, don't get me wrong there were some bangers but overall not great

12-15 they were better and back to a little more fun, and I think the series kept its footing pretty well in its final innings. It was no golden era and I felt really bad that Catherine got demoted but I really enjoyed it. ( Well ok I really wasn' a gig harbor arc fan)

Immortality was a fine special, although I don't really feel like it stuck the landing. Part of that will probably become obvious when I talk about my character and ship takes but I also just felt the case could have been better. It's the freshest in mind, obviously, so I will say I really loved having Catherine and Grissom back and if anything I felt like it gave good closure for them and to a lesser extent Sara.

Characters( kinda in the order of their exit):

The lab rats: Bobby, Mandy, Archie icons every one of them. There is a world where Wendy, Hodges and Henry get their own sections but I feel like they would appreciate being in this group. Never pushed into too much melodrama their characterization, always great at their jobs. I would love to grab drinks with any of them

The cops: Brass will get his own sections but to summarize my feelings on all the others. They did their job and I love that for them. They almost never overstayed their welcome but they also aren't the reason I'm watching this show. The only two I would want to get drinks with are the should have been lesbian Sofia Curtis ( she almost got her own section but then i got lazy) and the best uniform in the business, the man, the myth, my man officer Mitchell.

Warrick Brown: My smooth talking gambling king. He was definitely missed after his death. While I didn't love his characterization in the greda Arc, I usually really enjoyed his dynamic with the team and his drive to the job. His death was the closest I came to stopping my watching. His skills with kids are underrated ( probably cause Nick and Catherine are so good) and I do have a say on top of all his intelligence and skills at the job he is so handsome. I think he might go a little too hard for me to enjoy getting drinks with him but I would still do it.

Gill Grissom: My second favorite Dr. Bug ( sorry no one can beat Jack Hodgins) he really is the smartest person on the show. You can always feel his passion for science which is lovely. While sometimes out of touch or oblivious he is usually incredibly kind. I liked his tie to the deaf community. You can pull the fact that he is Demi from my cold dead hands. In a lot of the ways he was the heart of the show and it definitely shows when he left. His relationships with Catherine, Warick, Nick and of course Sara were well developed. I would kill to get a drink with him just to listen to him talk science.

Riley Adams: she gets a section as it is rude for me to not mention a character who was in the credits but she's fucking white bread milk toast. Would not bother getting drinks.

Raymond Langston: I love his relationship with Robbins and I think he's incredibly smart. But I just think the show gave him way way too much too quickly. I mean just compare it to the fucking effort Greg put in to reach CSI or that as new CSI 3 there was a long stretch where Nick didn't get his own cases. I appreciated his complex background but he brought with him the Haskell arc which was just too fucking long and serious. I would get a singular glass of wine with him.

Catherine Willows: What a girl boss. And I mean that is all the best and worst ways. I really love her at her best but man some of her lows are just.. no fun. She is absolutely vital to the show's success and 9/10 times she is out there taking no prisoners and careing for her team. Just you know wish she hadn't shown her daughter a dead body or faked a crime scene with a new guy to name some examples. She could drink me under the table no doubt.

Jim Brass: While never my favorite character I always appreciate seeing him on my screen. Competent enough to hang with the scientist and still be a good cop. I appreciated how dedicated he was to his daughter but Just not personally my vibes. I would get a drink with him but uhh maybe make it non alcoholic cause it's unclear if he needs sobriety help.

Julie Finlay: She's sweet and very very good at her job. If she had come earlier on she might be one of my favorites just my top 3 was already filled. She brings a good balance back to the team, and she has a weird level of breaking and respecting the rules that I enjoyed. She very quickly had such a good dynamic with all the returning favs that there are moments I forgot she was so new. She's got big Bi & Poly energy. I know the actress wasn't coming back but I would've paid to see her interact with Grissom. Sad that she died off screen but also kinda glad they didn't end 15 with her completely dead. I would absolutely get drinks with her, probably mimosas despite my dislike for them.

Morgan Brody: eh shes fine. I feel like despite everything she still comes off as naive. I love her relationship with Eklie and Hodges but overall she left something to be desired. Nothing that I super disliked but I do kinda wish some of her screen time went to Sara or someone else.

D.B Russell: he was honestly a breath of fresh air, well until he wasn't. I think I just love Ted Dansion for one but also I felt like Russell was a beautiful balance between caring and professional. It was nice to have a supervisor who was actually kinda good at politics. I love that he actually cares for his kids and loves his wife ( although I was informed by my mother that he is divorced in Cyber). I do kinda wish the kept the bit where he laid on the ground as a body but mostly cause I found it way funnier than it is. I really hated the gig harbor killer arc and I felt like a large reason is it made him too serious. I would get a drink with him, but honestly I'd love to have a full meal with his family

Super Dave: what a lovable but weird dude. Genuinely a great example of how you can blend strange comments with kindness and consistency to create a great character. I would love to grab a drink with him.

Doc Robbins: What an honest man and in the running for the best M.E ( up there with Ducky and Cam). I'm glad he mostly stayed out of the drama and appreciated that he was always thorough, even when people were occasionally questioning his own work. Not kind to a fault but definitely empathetic. I would 100% grab a drink with him.

Now to the top 3, the best of the best, the ones who were in for the long haul.

Nick Stokes: Whether it's the sweet Texas accent and big bown eyes or the fact that he's the longest running main cast member I do think he is my favorite. Empathetic and kind, almost to a fault, he is also a man's man who can hold his own against the worst criminals. The show put him through the absolute fucking ringer but he still leaves with a smile on his face. Even when he clashes with other characters I feel like he resolves the problems better than other people. He definitely could have benefited from good therapy but I still love him anyway. His skills with kids are so nice and grounded in his backstory. Loved that he became the new big guy. Occasionally they try and paint him as a bit of a player but given he sleeps with like 2 women over 15 seasons it doesn't super add up. This is definitely the queer in me talking but he gives huge repressed Gay energy. Like a lot of his early arc is about graining confidence in himself. Not to mention,his relationship with Warrick and Greg are so filled with undertones and honestly let that man get fucked and some of his problems might go away. Anyway. So I guess more power to the actor for not coming back for even a cameo but I really really felt the lack of him in immortality. So If anyone knows a fanfic where he's there lmk I would read that shit in a heartbeat. Would get drinks with him, would die for him.

Greg Sanders: I love rave going lab rat Greg. I love the new CSI trying to prove himself to Greg. I love mob history author Greg. I mean he's got to be one of the most intelligent characters on the show- he's good at science and history- and it never makes him come off as rude or entitled. I think his shift from lab rat to CSI, whether intentional or accidental, is well built. He is criminally oh I mean so so so criminally underutilized in immortality. I dislike when he's angry and there are certainly episodes where he feels off but overall he's just so lovable. Disgusting hair choices but hey at least that was a consistent trait. His relationship with Nick and Sara throughout the whole show are really great and after 15 seasons they really do feel like they've been a team for 15 years. He gives Huge Bi energy so I would take him to a gay club for drinks and dancing.

Sara Sidle: You can call her a problematic fav all you want but she's a bad bitch and everyone should love her. She is so great at her job and she never lacks humanity. The show kinda lost track of her exact backstory at some point but I don't care too too much as she stays strong willed and passionate the whole show. Her will to never quit and iconic smirks will stay winning forever. I have thoughts on her relationship with Grissom but bottom line she knew what she wanted and got it. Her friendship with all the main cast, particularly Greg and Nick, is really lovely and shows how she has grown and changed over 15 seasons. Because I actually care about continuity I would not get an actual alcoholic drink with her but non alcoholic drinks aplenty would be had if I could meet her.

Ships:

Listen I don't have a real finger on the pulse of what ships are popular as this show finished airing 10 years ago and I was trying to not be super spoiled.

That being said

GSR: I'm not super into Grissom/ Sara ( side note I know the Internet was a different place 20 years ago but who picked GSR as their ship tag), but I'm also not against it. I think they have a big "match my freak" energy which is nice but. I don't know I just feel like by the end of it Sara could do better. Like she gave up the lab director for the guy who asked her for a divorce. I still think it's better than some other options just you know not like my otp. 8/10

Catherine/ Warrick: I think that the flirting was all fun and games and then if became too much. Let's be honest neither of them are built for committed relationships. Probably would have been better then whatever the fuck was happening with Warrick and Tina. 5/10

Catherine/ Vartann: its canonical and like they were fine I didn't hate it didn't love it. Probably better for Catherine in the long term than any other of her potential ships 6/10

Nick/ Greg: idk if this is super popular but it's my otp for the show. They seem like they bring out the best in each other. Nicks more clean cut natural could balance out the more chaotic ature of greg. Obviously with the era the show was made in I don't think that there tension was intentional but it's still there. From the name that chemical compound game to working together until the end of really think they would be great. 11/10

Nick/ Warrick: I had to mention for the just two dudes who have homoerotic tension energy but ehh Warrick dose really read straight to me in every other context. 3/10

Wendy/ Hodges: ehh they give straight white couple who should have just talked about their feelings. 4/10

Hodges/ Henry: is this a real ship? idk man, But it's an friends to enemies to lovers I would love to read. 6/10

Morgan/ Greg: ok part of this is the my ship bias( see above) but I did not like them together. Their flirting is not good, his anger at her kidnapping too extreme, idk I Just really feels like they operate in different levels. 0/10

Morgan/ Hodges: I actually thought this was really sweet and was super said they went with the parents dating thing. I think they understood each other on a really fun level and that they brought out the best in each other. I loved how supportive they were of each other even in seemingly poor decisions. 8/10

Finn/ D.B: I would assume that this is the popular het ship for the them but uhh D.B is so happily married and Finn ( much like Warrick and Catherine) doesn't really give monogamous relationship. 0/10

Finn/ Sara: 100% queer women projection but uhh just imagine post divorce Sara figuring out her identity with Finn and they try friends with benefits but then need more. 6/10

If you made it this far thanks so much for reading and id love to hear others thoughts as I do a deep dive into this show. I Will be reading plenty of fanfiction and may start CSI: NY to appease the new hole in my heart.

[positivexcellence]

Interview: Jared Padalecki on the ‘Walker’ Finale, What He Learned as an Executive Producer, and More

We got the chance to talk to Jared all about the Walker finale, what it was like being buried in episode 12, what he’s learned as a producer, and more.

Nerds & Beyond: Episode 11 was one of my favorite episodes, it was just incredible. What was it like having Genevieve [Padalecki] and Matt [Barr] back for that episode? Can you talk more about it?

Jared Padalecki: I mean, selfishly as Jared, I was thrilled to have Matt back. I adore Matt Barr, I love him with all my heart. It was so great to have him in Austin. Again, selfishly as Jared, I was happy to have Gen there and we brought our kids to set and they got to hold the markers and clap us onto a scene, which was really awesome.

Then selfishly as Cordell Walker, or as an actor, I got to do some weird, cool stuff that not a lot of projects give you the opportunity to explore. Damn, I mean, I’m kind of feeling this way right now… if I could go back and redo it… like if this never happened, how would I do it? How would I feel? What would it be? Would it be closure? Would it be even worse? Would it be just a further tease? There were a lot of storylines that I got to tell within that one episode. I felt really grateful for Anna [Fricke] and for our run on TV to be able to do. So, all around, I was just really excited to go play in that playground.

Nerds & Beyond: Then in episode 12, we see Cordell get saved by the team after being buried alive. What was that process like?

Jared: You know what’s funny, is that on Walker, I’ve done a lot of great, fun, kind of random or strange stunt sequences, like driving a truck full speed up a parking garage, and being in fight sequences in strange areas. There have always been these things like racing horses with Dave Annable around the barn… there have been times where it’s like, “Okay, well, there’s probably some danger here,” and they’re gonna come and say like, “Hey, do you feel comfortable? We’re gonna be here. Just say if it doesn’t work for you.”

That scene specifically was probably the most they’ve ever come up to me and been like, “Hey, sorry, we’ll have a straw for you. You can breathe. We’ll do this, we’ll do that.” They were really concerned. I am not claustrophobic, thank God. So, I didn’t have some of the concerns that a lot of the other producers, stunt coordinators, and safety coordinators did. I was like, “This kind of sounds cool, this is gonna look fucking cool.”

I actually talked to [Jensen] Ackles, because he had done “Lazarus Rising”, the premiere of season four [of Supernatural], where he was buried in a similar situation, and got his two cents on it. And I was like, “I’m kind of excited.” To have an episode like 411, you can’t just all of a sudden [go], “Oh, Cordell is back, here we go.” There needs to be some drama. There needs to be some cool stuff. It was one of the few things that I don’t think I’ve ever done before. I’ve done plenty of stuff in my career, but I don’t think I’ve been buried alive. And so I was like, “Cool, let’s go ahead and get this Boy Scouts badge.”

For the buried alive part, they dug a grave and they first buried me up to my shoulders. Coby [Bell] was having some back issues, he had been on a flight and he had just kind of tweaked his back. We’re like, “Well, Jeff Pierre’s here, so guess what, Jeff? You’re carrying Padalecki.” I’m 205-210 pounds, and that’s not an easy way to pull somebody out of a grave, there’s no leverage. But Jeff Pierre is a king among men. And, he’s like, “Alright, I got him.” So between Jeff and Coby, they lifted me out and wiped the dirt and blood off my face. That was exciting.

What I enjoyed less, was spending all day in that makeup because then we had the sequence where Captain James walked Cordell over to Cassie and Trey, and so I kinda just stayed in that makeup and outfit for twelve hours. The actual doing of the acting was amazing, but trying to go to lunch with all that stuff on your face… you don’t want to wash it off, it’ll take an hour back on. So it’s just sort of like, I want to scratch my face, I’m sweaty and hot and nasty. But all in all, I knew it was gonna be something that, until the day I die, I’ll be proud to have been a part of. So, you kind of grin and bear it.

Nerds & Beyond: That sounds intense, though!

Jared: It was yeah, it was, in a great way. It looked intense.

Nerds & Beyond: When you got the official call that Walker would no longer continue, what was that call like?

Jared: I did have some version of a heads up, but it still was like we didn’t believe it or understand it. The heads up was obvious when they put out their upfront list of shows they were intending for the ’24-’25 season, and we weren’t listed. You didn’t have to be a producer on the show to go like, “Well, this is strange.” There were obvious hints and clues both publicly and privately that kind of leaned toward, “This doesn’t look good.”

But the strange thing is that’s been my life, that’s been my career. Gilmore Girls was on the bubble for many years. Supernatural was on the bubble for many years. And the season three, season four, kind of world that TV shows live on, it’s like, well, if you do five or six, you can probably do twenty-five or twenty-six. But you’ve got to get to five or six. We all just kind of were like, “Well, let’s look at the numbers.” And, the show would air, it would be the most watched show on CW, and we’d be like, “Okay, cool. Brad Schwartz said if the performance maintained, then we’re gonna go again. Well, we’re maintaining, we’re still the most-watched show on the network.” We were worried privately, but then we were like, “Well, shoot, we’re fulfilling our obligation. Why would they possibly not pick us up?”

It’s really funny, I find myself talking about the show [and] I’m having a tough time saying canceled. I’m kind of saying, just, we weren’t picked up for season five, which I guess is one and the same. I’m finding it a bit easier to just say we weren’t picked up instead of saying we were canceled. Just semantics.

I didn’t find out officially until probably an hour before I made that post. So, I legit didn’t know officially until… I’ve learned in this industry until it’s official, it’s not official. We always joke as actors, It’s like, you get a job, and they’re like, “Well, how do you feel? Are you excited?” You’re like, “Well, yeah… I’ll be excited when I get my first paycheck.” When they aired me on television, I was the third or fourth Dean on Gilmore Girls. So, you shoot the show, you get your paycheck and then they recast and they shoot again, they get their paycheck, then they recast again, you get your paycheck. So you never really know, you kind of live in this limbo of like, “Well, is it gonna air? Am I going to be on more?” I finished the episode and I got the paycheck, but it hasn’t aired yet, so they can still recast me. It happens more often than I think people realize.

I maintained hope and to this day, sitting at the Side Step with John Patterson today, I still have this weird hope in my head. Like you know Wednesday [the day of the finale] is gonna happen, and they’re gonna realize how amazing the show is, how little they pay for it, and how high the quality is, and they’re gonna come to their senses. The way my day worked out, I think it was May 22 or 21, whatever that day was I made that post, I got a call from David Stapf at CBS and he gave it to me straight. He’s like, “Hey, man. Here’s the deal. Walker’s not gonna go season five.” I was sort of like, “Okay, thank you for calling me.” By the way, somebody like David Stapf doesn’t need to call me, his assistant can call me, he can send me an email, they can post it on his own through CBS channels. But he gave me the quality character move to go, like, “I want to call Jared. I don’t want it to be announced until I talk to Jared and ask him how he wants to announce it.” Then he said to me, “Hey, if you want to talk to Brad, he’d love to talk to you as well.” I was like, “Okay, of course. Yeah.” Brad and I have worked together for a year, and, you know, I was still super confused. I’m super confused now. So I was sort of like, “Okay, I don’t know what to say. My head’s kind of spinning, I leave in three days for Europe for a month. But yeah, I’ll absolutely talk to Brad.” So then David and I hung up, and it was a great conversation. I mean, he was very flattering of the show and the family we have and sort of himself seemingly kind of confused about the way it was all going down and the linear TV world that we live in. But he was like, “This is where we kind of sit,” and I just was extremely grateful for the conversation.

I called Brad and Brad kind of said the same. Brad reiterated, “Hey, dude, you know, you’ve been on CW since its inception. We’ll follow your lead here. Do you want to announce it yourself? Do you want us to announce it? Do you want to avoid it entirely, or do you want to be a part of it? We’ll go with your gut.” And my gut was, I have a great relationship with the fandom, to use a generic term, and I was like, “I actually would love to be the one that kind of says it.” So they obliged and I scrambled together a quick post, just being as honest as possible, and sent it out there. There was zero time between finding out and announcing it. It took me half an hour or whatever to try and figure out how to try and communicate how grateful I was, and how much love I had for everybody before sending it out, but it was a quick turnaround.

Nerds & Beyond: The finale has moments that seemed to leave the characters in a good space. Was that a conscious choice to sort of wrap things up on the off chance there wouldn’t be another season?

Jared: 100%. We talked, because at the time when we were shooting 12-13 which we cross-boarded, we didn’t know if we were picked up or not. We kind of assumed we were judging by the numbers and what we had heard from the network prior about if the numbers remained, and they did. It didn’t feel like it was something you could appropriately wrap up in an episode anyway. Like, we didn’t want to deliver a bad episode just for the sake of ‘wrapping up a storyline’. So I think what we wanted, not just if there would have been seasons five through fifteen, but if there would have been season four and done, was this idea that all the characters still had hope. I mean, it’s difficult to wrap up a TV show, right? You can do the whole they’re at a diner or you can do the whole ‘everybody dies’, but neither felt appropriate for Walker and the cast of characters. So, we kind of talked about what is something that if we end here, we’re happy with, but if we carry on, it’s seamless to go forward. And everybody, every character has something that we want to watch. So we left it there and there were back and forths. There were conversations, obviously, but ultimately, it came down to every character has something in their life that they can look forward to. They also have problems and that’s life, you have problems and you have opportunities, but I’m very happy with the finale.

Nerds & Beyond: How do you feel about Cordell’s decision to take a leave of absence and take his family on vacation?

Jared: I think it’s been a long time coming. I think it’s a great statement on mental health and work-life balance, and it’s something that I’m kind of in the process of thinking about myself right now. Twenty-four years in the industry and nineteen years as number one on the call sheet, it takes a lot out of you and you sacrifice time with your kids, with your spouse, with your friends, with yourself. And I think it can at times not only be beneficial, but it can be necessary. So, I was proud of Cordell for making that decision, and I was excited to see how he came back after he had some time, but that’ll live in our imaginations, I suppose.

Nerds & Beyond: Cordell has made such incredible character growth from the first season to now. What has been your favorite part of getting to play him over the last four seasons?

Jared: What I really loved about Walker, and Cordell specifically, is that we got to see somebody who was flawed and who made mistakes and was humble, who tried. Sometimes he was a little slow to learn, but ultimately he tried to learn, he was eager to learn, eager to humble himself and be humbled around people he loved and trusted. So, that was a good reminder in my own personal life of like, “Hey, when someone says something a thousand times, maybe just listen, give it a shot. Why not?” You know, life happens… and it’s about what to do, what we can do better, what others can do better, how to ask, how to accept help. And so Walker remained as open-minded as a flawed human being could remain. I really appreciated that.

Nerds & Beyond: Do you have a favorite memory or moment from this last season?

Jared: Gen and I, during the ceremony/funeral scene in 411, had our kids there. Just the way it worked out, they hadn’t been able to be there a lot even though ironically, it was shot in Austin. But we shoot during the school year so they’re in school, or even season one, it was the COVID protocol. So if you weren’t vaccinated and didn’t have a mask in season one, it would have been that they’re twenty feet away in a mask, swabs up their nose, and wouldn’t have been a great experience anyways. So by the time 411 came and Anna [Fricke] was there directing and you know, she created the characters in the show, that was really special.

I think the speech that Cordell gives at August’s graduation was one of those moments… we’re at Storm Ranch, hadn’t been there all season, and the majority of the cast was there, and we got to hang out and laugh. It was this beautiful night in Austin, Texas. It was just one of those feelings… I had that feeling every time we shot a dinner table scene or breakfast scene where when we got everybody on set… it was just a great time and we did work I’m really proud of. It was just great to see everybody’s face and everyone working together cohesively, so I think those two, just offhand, stuck out to me the most.

Nerds & Beyond: After the news of the cancellation, were you able to take anything from the set?

Jared: Yeah, I took some of the clothes that meant something to me and a four-season show, several changes a day, there were racks and racks and racks of clothing. I went back to certain things that really are kind of like hallmarks for me. I have Duke’s outfit, I have his Texas Rangers hat, I have that blue suit I wore with Twyla, I have a few things that really just meant a lot to me wardrobe-wise. I have my boots, I have a couple of cowboy hats, and set-wise I have the Texas mug from the Side Step and I grabbed the pool cue from the Side Step. I was laughing, in season one or two, I brought my own pool cue from home to use in the show, and then I think I went home and forgot that I’d taken it, so I was like, “I donated one so now I’m just taking it back.” I have a few little knickknacks that are special to me. One of the things that I received as a gift was my Ranger belt. I wore it all the time and it was both the bane of my existence because they’re not super comfortable, but also just something really special. That will sit on my desk in my office forever. I also have my Ranger parking Cordell Walker little emblem that I’ll put somewhere in my garage.

Nerds & Beyond: Walker was your first Executive Producer gig. Is that something you want to continue with further?

Jared: That’s kind of all I’m interested in. Acting is fun and can be fun at times, but I love the nuts and bolts of it, of trying to figure out several characters, how it all works together, how it all affects each other. I would happily just EP forever. I think acting is a bit more of a commitment. Again, I don’t not enjoy it. It’s fun, I love it, but I like exploring scenes. I love trying to go through different iterations of characters or their motivations, figuring out why they would make the decisions they make.

I would love to keep developing. You know, if a role comes up that makes sense, and it’s exciting or it’s somebody I want to work with, or a project I’m excited about, or a director I’ve never worked with that I want to then, yeah, call me up and I’ll see if Gen doesn’t mind watching the kids for a couple of weeks, or a couple months. But in the meantime, I like reading a book more than telling people what book I read, if that makes sense.

Nerds & Beyond: Everyone I’ve talked to about Walker has said that it has an exceptional set atmosphere. A lot of people attribute that atmosphere to you, as well. Why was it so important to foster that kind of environment where there’s a real work-life balance?

Jared: That’s the intense loss I feel. As much as I love Walker, the character, and Walker, the show, I feel a deep loss about what happened that didn’t make it to a television screen. The relationships that were built and fostered, the work atmosphere… I think over many years and almost 500 episodes of television, I’ve seen firsthand how a toxic atmosphere doesn’t save time. The more you yell, the more you gripe and bitch, and blame doesn’t mean that you’re gonna go faster and higher quality. Set people up for success, and hopefully, they set you up for success also. And then all of a sudden a day that could be twelve hours is nine hours. Like, “Wow… I’m home three hours earlier.”

I certainly cannot take credit for it. I mean, I’m sure I had a heavy vote in that arena. Kim Manners said something to Jensen Ackles and me many, many years ago. I think it was season one. In a True Kim Manners attitude, it was something like, pardon my French, “I spend more time with you fuckers than I do my wife, my kids, our dog, and my home. So if I’m not having a good time, why the fuck would I be here?” And it just made sense. No one’s holding a gun to our head telling us, “Hey, you better go act.” So if you’re not having a good time, then, “Hey, go find something and I wish you well. And if I’m not having a good time, then what am I doing here?” So I think we all reached that place on Walker.

I loved the Supernatural set, and I love it to this day and I hope we get to see each other again. The Walker set was just even more of a family. We’re all at home, we all went through horrible, horrible situations as far as people getting sick or in car accidents or pandemics or strikes, and everybody just felt like family.

Nerds & Beyond: You can tell just how much of a close-knit family you all were, so I can’t imagine how hard that loss is. I know it just finished airing and you’re not that far removed from it yet, but looking back, what are you going to take away from your experience on Walker?

Jared: It can be done. I think that’s going to be a message that sticks with me in all aspects of my life, til the day I die. It can be done. Surround yourself with good people and positivity. When you start thinking about like, “Oh, I’ll never be able to do this. Oh, this will never happen.” Walker was proof that it can be done. When you allow yourself to… I’d rather trust and have my heart broken than never trust and never fall in love. I trusted Walker and I fell in love and it was gone too soon. And it will be, to quote Jeff Buckley, “the tear that hangs inside my soul forever.” But, it can be done and it reignited my belief in people and storytelling. Best idea wins. Be honest and be humble. So to your point, I’m still fresh off and I haven’t yet really swallowed all my feelings and emotions enough to digest them, but just thrilled that we proved it could be done. And we’ll always know it.

Nerds & Beyond: Be proud of it, for sure. I love that there’s been a theme in the last few episodes about not being sad that it’s over, being glad that it happened.

Jared: Yeah. I’ll take that as well.

Nerds & Beyond: Fans have built an incredible community within the Walker family. Is there anything you’d love to say to them?

Jared: So many things I’d love to say. First and foremost, thanks for the trust. Thanks for the passion. I know that when Supernatural ended a lot of our Supernatural family trusted enough to kind of come give Walker a try. I feel like maybe after Supernatural ended many probably felt that it was gone too soon, but they trusted that life went on and came over and it’s really special. That’s where I find myself right now.

And so seeing their example, I’m just grateful. I’m just a guy who happens to act, and it’s an honor when someone’s interested in what you do creatively. Thank you, now and always.

Nerds and Beyond

[khruschevshoe]

Thasmin & How the Changing of Showrunners Handicapped Their Story

You know what? I'm going to rant about it. I've been thinking about Doctor Who from a Watsonian versus Doylist point of view on a constant basis, especially when it comes to showrunners and how the doctor is handed over from showrunner to showrunner and how the exit of Yaz from the show is it possibly the clearest example in the world of this feeling of a showrunner being switched. I'm not talking writing differences, I'm not talking stylistic differences, I'm talking the way that she left the show. Because I would put all of my life savings on the fact that if Thirteen and fourteen had the same show runner, Yaz would have been able to stay around for 13's regeneration. You can feel the writing of the show STRAINING to justify why Thirteen would dump her/leave her behind. It feels abrupt because it IS. Rose got to continue her story with 10 until its organic end. Same with Clara. Hell, even River, though her circumstances were slightly different. There is literally no reason why Fourteen wouldn't go after her the moment the 60th specials end except for the fact that for some absolutely weird reason RTD didn't mention Yaz ONCE despite 14 being more "emotionally open" than the Doctors before him.

Like, I'm going to be honest. I'm mostly ambivalent on Thasmin. I think they're sweet and had potential and got screwed in the build up in seasons 11 and 12 (up until Revolution, even). But if I was y'all I would be PISSED. Because that kind of treatment of Yaz and Thasmin as a love story sucked from both the Power of the Doctor AND the 60th anniversary specials. No closure. No real explanation. No acknowledgement of the main love story of the last showrunner. (Even Steven Moffat name-dropped Bad Wolf/Rose in the 50th special, though he did also have the whole 10th Doctor running around with Elizabeth I thing so maybe that cancels itself out.) The mechanics of the show and how it's run screwed you over. And I'm sorry. I hope y'all get some acknowledgement in 15's Era. I'll be pleasantly and happily surprised if we get a cameo (or some miraculous wrap-up of the storyline ala Husbands of River Song), but seeing how the most logical place for a mention (the toymaker) came and went without a peep I'm not hedging my bets.

(Going to go check out some fanfic, though- and imagine that fourteen took off towards Sheffield the moment the 60th anniversary wrapped!)

[ananke-xiii]

About Sam Winchester.

[This post has been edited after my discussion with @samjgirl , @sam-winchester-admiration-league and after @adaav 's comment to my post. I really want to thank them for their time and for pointing many interesting points out. I wasn't well informed about the techniques of storytelling and I believe I lost a bit of focus after season 11. Now I'm actually happier as I've started to even more appreciate this character, so win-win for me!]

The character of Sam Winchester was my biggest surprise and my biggest disappointment while watching Supernatural (but it's not his fault). [EDIT: while I still don't particularly like (for now) s12-15, I've realized that my disappoint was more due to my ignonorance of storytelling techniques rather than by the way the character was written]

It was my biggest surprise because I had never related to a fictional character this much before. I think you just have to both be the younger sibling of a dysfunctional nuclear family and be trauma-bonded to your elder sibling to get it. I won't go into further details about it because it's a whole essay, but I have to mention it because I need to state that I feel a deep connection to Sam. We both made the same choices, the same "mistakes", the same sacrifices.

So I was astonished when I started Supernatural because of the way it felt true and real. I don't know if the writers lived similar experiences and were therefore able to tell this story truthfully, but they nevertheless did a hell of a job in describing the unique bond of two siblings trying their best to navigate their traumas.

From season 1 to 8-9ish, we see Sam morphing from being the hero of the story to one of the two main characters. [EDIT: this is incorrect, Sam has always been the hero of the story. I think I felt like he was "shifting" into a slightly less prominent role because Dean, as supporting protagonist, was given more space in order to proceed with the filler episodes]Slowly but surely, Dean also becomes the hero and I think that was fair. [EDIT: see above, technically this is incorrect, sorry lol!]You can't fully narrate the story of a bond withouth fully integrate one part of it. I loved all the parallels to Michael/Lucifer and Cain/Abel. I thought they were brilliant. The show allowed me to go deep inside and start sorting out some stuff I've lived. It really made me think a lot.

It's fair to say that the brothers' codependency was the crux of their problem. It was painful to watch and sometimed downright awkward but the writers got it all right: the otherwise unxeplicable and toxic jealousy they felt for one another, the inability to share their deepest feelings in way other than fighting, and hell yes, even Sam's decision to run away and not look for his brother after season 7. It was not OOC, it's exactly what he did when he was 18 and what John did as well 4 years after that. As a matter of fact, Sam is more similar to John than Dean could ever be.

It's definitely been a long journey but I find that the resolution of their codependency (in season ELEVEN!) was cleverly thought-out and brilliantly executed. It couldn't have happened before, the two bothers must have been either already in or close to their 30s to confront the knot, to acknwoledge the grip the trauma they've lived had on their life. Sometimes getting older does help and give you perspective. This might be why (as I've stated here) season 11 is my favourite one: it gives a sense of closure and hope.

However, here comes the biggest disappointment part. [EDIT: this is due to the fact that in part, I didn't fully get it]

After season 11 Sam morphs from one of the two main characters to a side character. [EDIT: incorrect, as per previous EDIT, Sam is always the hero and lead protagonist]The show must be about the brothers' bond and I'm okay with that. However, it looks like after season 11 the writers couldn't come up with new ideas to talk about this kind of bond. It felt like, other than co-dependency, the bond didn't have much to say. Therefore, both Sam and Dean almost go back to square one while they had all the possibilities to explore a new aspect of their relationship.

What could've been this new aspect? Easy: making them realize that the family they each wanted was, simply, different. This is just my opinion on the subject and how I've felt about season 12-15 so it's okay if you disagree. [EDIT: well, this is still my opinion, although it has nothing to do with Sam's narrative role in the story and more about my personal preference, so I think this is where I got confused]

In my opinion, from season 12 Sam is just a part of Dean's family. It's not "Sam&Dean"'s family. It's just Dean's. And I think the writers could've explored that in a more meaningful way. Let me explain: let's take Cas since he makes the perfect example for this scenario. Dean has repeatedly included Cas in the "family", he's called him not just his brother but "our brother". He includes Sam in the equation but I personally don't think Sam feels the same way. Sure, Sam cares for Cas and thinks he's family, but I think his idea of family is "Cas is my brother's husbandbest friend and therefore he's part of the family". He's extended family, kind of. [EDIT: this is still just my opinion and has nothing to do with Sam's narrative role. Although "family" is one of the themes of the show, it was not the only one]

My opinion is canonically backed because, aside from Rowena, all the members of the Winchesters Found Family are part of the family because Dean has allowed them, Dean has a deeper relatioship to them and ultimately because Dean decides who can enter the circle. This is totally in character and I love Dean for his ability to care and form deep bonds. [EDIT: this was also needed for Dean as a character because he's not the lead protagonist so he had to have something else in the story that was not necessarily connected to the mytharc]

However, this is not in Sam's character: Sam is the one who runs away, the one who wants to create his own family, the one who really needs to emancipate himself from his older brother. I truly wished the writers explored his passivity in "accepting" the status quo and made him, if not rebel, at least express his wants.

It would have been a moment in Sam's growth if he could've just, instead of running away, confronted his brother and stated that his desires were different, that he was part of Dean's family but it was not his family. Instead, we only have glimpes of what Sam really feels: he doesn't think of the bunker as his home, he doesn't ever say that he has a family (not surprisingly it's Dean that in "Lebanon" tells John "I have a family" and not Sam), he doesn't really have any other meaningful relationship aside from his brother.

Supernatural ending did him dirty, too. Not just for the awful wig and make-up but because the ending framed Sam as a two-dimensional character: "freed" from his brother and his brother's family, he finds a blurry wife, a dog, a son, a white picket fence. How sad is that? We never get to see Sam really connecting with anyone: all (and by all I really mean ALL) the women in his life, from his mother to one-night-stands while on the road passing through Ruby, end up dead (RIP Sarah Blake). Of course his wife at the end had to be a blurry figure in the backfround (she was not even besides him on his deathbed!): she was a testament to all of his past relationships. Like, seriously, apart from Dean, the ONLY lasting relationship Sam has throughout the whole series is with LUCIFER and this alone, I think, speaks volume. [EDIT: again this just relates to the fact that I'm not particularly fond of s12-15 and of the overall ending. Technically speaking, the ending makes sense. Whether I liked it or not is another issue]

In conclusion, after season 11 Sam is no longer an interesting character because the writers both downright refused to give him another substantial character to interact with and insisted once again on his codependency with Dean (which was already resolved). [EDIT, tbh it was a weak ending to begin with, LOL, I didn't like it even after I wrote it hahahhaa, but yeah, as this whole post proves Sam Winchester is far from being an uninteresting character because I just spent a frigging afternoon learning new things thanks to him so I guess he's like the gift that keeps on giving!]

Having said that, in my heart of hearts, Sam Winchester will always have a special place because I get him, I really do.

[wishingstarinajar]

I know, I know I'm a scratched record

But I'm dying to hear your thoughts on the Wakfu finale when you get to it!

I just finished watching it and it's uuh... hmm. I read people saying the finale was "satisfactory" but I am not fully on board with that sentiment.

Too much left unanswered, not enough wrapped up, too rushed to get to the end.

I know the Waven game is a continuation of sorts, it takes place decades after Wakfu's conclusion so that game might hold some answers or closure, buuuuttt... I'm not interested enough in the game to play and find out. I guess I've grown a bit tired of the whole cross-media info/lore some franchises love to do (like Blizzard and covering important info across the Warcraft games, books and short stories).

Wakfu season 4 obviously has an open ending, no matter that it is the final season, so who knows what might follow. I'm just a little saddened that the story picked up a little too late this season but the animation, particularly during action scenes, was pretty great... when not using the same static images of characters xDD They loved that a little too much but I understand the budget wasn't that big so I can't really fault Ankama for it.

Did I like this season? Mmmyyeeaaah, it's a mixed bag. Better than season 3 but not better than the first two seasons or even the OVA episodes. Glad it exists but I don't feel super satisfied with its conclusion.

HEAVY SPOILERS ahead, so be mindful but gonna share some thoughts:

Seeing Joris play a bigger part in the second half of the 4th season, and him vibing with Adamaï made me very giddy and happy. Love that for them, hope they become good friends. And thank fek neither of them died. RIP, Qilby, Armand and Brakmar (maybe?). The guys who needed to redeem themselves got their chance, at least.

Goddess Eliatrope was a big disappointment and an unlikeable character but I guess that was kind of the point...? Angry that she totally ignored Chibi and Grougal, like what the fuck even? Didn't even show a hint of acknowledgment towards them. What if they wanted to meet mom, huh?? And what even happened to Baltazar and Glip, who were in Emrub with the same kids that were asleep in Goddess Eliatrope's belly? What did she do with them?

But hey, at least my headcanon that the Sadida and Eliatropes will combine into a single kingdom/people (which I also wrote about in my Rebirth fic) actually happening was pretty satisfying x'D It even has Wakfu-infused trees, om nom nom.

A little frustrated with Necroworld (not the same Necroworld from the Transformers: Lost Light comics) because it's supposed to be a different planet in some other universe but it had dofus (dragon eggs) and races of the Twelve like Sadida, Sram and Sacrier. It was pretty confusing... Imo, it should have been something similar to The Upside Down (Stranger Things), or an alternate version of the world of Twelve rather than a completely separate place. But eh...

Why did nobody care about the state Inglorium was in, or that the Gods have disappeared? That bothered me so so so soooo much during the first two episodes; nobody non-Eliatrope or non-demigod cared that their God/Goddess was... well... gone. Aside from God Iop, where are they?? Hated the disinterest, hated the silence around it. Guess that's a mystery that will be unraveled in some other media.

Yugo grew tall and handsome and I'm not afraid to say it. Happy for him, though him suddenly growing so quickly was a bit silly. I figured there would be a time skip to justify his 'growth' that we saw in promotional images and teasers. Won't complain though, he deserved to finally be in a body that reflects his actual age, it took him long enough!

"Bootleg Alys" from the Dofus movie made a cameo in episode 11 which made me snerk. (I noticed a few more background characters from the movie that were re-used in episode 11.)

And that's all I have to say, at least here on Tumblr. It was quite a ride.

A big thanks Ankama and all the Kickbackers that made it possible; this show had its ups and downs over the past decade but it was enjoyable and loved. It still holds a special place in my heart and I will keep a tiny eye out for more Krozmos stuff in the future (like Welsh & Shedar, gimme!!).

[lol-jackles]

I know its beens awhile but what did you think of S15 as a whole?

As a whole I think season 15 was an above-average season due to below-average execution and ended with a stellar series finale that added rewatch value not just for season 15 but also all of 15 seasons.

Season 15 started and ended with callbacks to previous seasons; from season 1's woman in white and Sam's goal of returning to a normal life, to season 5's Dean's time in hell as Alastair's apprentice and bringing closure to Adam Milligan, to season 8's endgames for Sam and Dean.

The first half of the season 15 was about free will vs determinism, with Sam representing the former and Dean representing the latter.  Sam and Dean’s confrontation with God parallels how they've reacted to family and authority their entire lives: Sam challenged God’s Divine decree over His Creation while Dean accused God of abandoning His Creation.  When Abraham spoke with his heart and mind to God over His plan to destroy Sodom & Gomorrah, it led to Abraham transcending himself, leading the way for God, and becoming the father of faith. Metaphorically it's all about lessons in honest, meaningful relationships with our fellow human beings.   People often suppress their true selves and principles for the sake of avoiding conflict instead of taking the relationship a step further into a place of sincerity.   From season 11 to 14, Sam and Dean spoke their hearts and minds to God and the brothers' relationship became at its strongest, never wavering even when occasional arguments sprouts up because they were honest with each other.

Sam and God became connected through Sam's hope which manifested in their identical wounds. Secular-based hope is about anticipating something good to come in the future.  Sam has hope in a better future, so Chuck showed him a bleak future to make his lose that hope.  Once Sam lost his hope, God leaves.  That’s pretty much what happens to people in real life, when they lose hope, they feel there is no God or God abandoned them. Another physical manifestation of a bleak future is Dean's old friend who retired from hunting, Lee, who became so corrupted that Dean is forced to kill him.

The return of Sam and Dean's half-brother, Adam, brings welcome closure.  Adam is not out for revenge as he acknowledged his own culpability for agreeing to vessel-ship in the first place.  Him and Michael only having each other for 10 years in the Cage led to their codependent-symbiotic-ish relationship that parallels Sam and Dean to some extent.  

I like to call the second half of season 15 the "Dean redemption tour" where side characters were used to address Dean's unresolved issues in order for him to be good enough for Sam in their eternal afterlife. Normally whenever Dean interacted with side characters it is about the side characters, not Dean (see example here and here). But when the formula is reversed, it becomes a bit disjointed, and the audience picked up on it. The final redemption act target Dean's anger issues that both Amara and Chuck discussed.

Chuck:��This is my ending.  My real ending. 

Very next scene: *Dean pulls a gun on Sam*

Dean’s been so obsessed with having free will that he’s actually following Chuck’s writing.  As usual Sam broke through to Dean, in effect breaking Chuck’s influence. Then a very mad mad Chuck shows up.

Chuck:  “Are you kidding me? After all that, you did it again!”

Then 15x18 happened. Ignoring the hilarity of that scene, the speech was supposed to remind the general audience that Dean is A HERO before he dies two episodes later. By 15x19, free will vs determinism comes to a conclusion.   Michael and Lucifer betrayed the Winchesters and succumb to determinism, fulfilling their destiny to destroy each other.  Sam and Dean manipulated Michael to lure Chuck into a trap to replace him with a new God, Jack. Chuck is left only with human frailties and for the first time Chuck has no idea what happens next, bringing the free will theme to a full circle.  

Due to interactions with Sam, Rowena became the new queen of Hell while Jack becomes the new God of Heaven. Jack promises Sam that He will have a hands-off approach and people don’t need to pray or sacrifice to Him. Jack’s perception of humanity is distilled down to, “When people have to be their best, they can be.” 

Before the story ends, the protagonist is supposed to accomplish their primary goal that had kept them driven and move the story forward.  Sam’s goal was attaining normal life, it was never about eradicating monsters to extinction or avenging his mother’s death.  In fiction it always seems like the main character want many things, but there is always a primary goal.  Harry Potter gets dragged into many subplots such as conflicts with his best friends, romantic misfires, and incidents with secondary characters, however his main goal was always to defeat Voldemort and that's what the audience is holding out to see.  Sam Winchester’s journey is flipped from Harry Potter’s; Sam gets dragged into many subplots of saving the world, defeating the Big Baddies, and conflicts with his brother, however his main goal was always to have a chance at a normal life. But this can't happen while Dean is still alive.

Dean has everything he wanted: Sam and hunting.  Dean is a complete person; he doesn’t need anything else. But Sam had given up just about everything so that Dean wouldn’t be alone. 15x16 reminded the audience that Sam wanted out of the hunting life since he was a child. Sure, Sam is very good at his job and even became a leader, but they always made sure to show that Sam doesn’t have passion for the family business other than saving people’s lives.  Claire Novak shows way more enthusiasm for the job. But Dean would never retire from the hunting life.  Even when Michael gave Dean a fantasy life, Dean still conjured up monsters so he can fight and kill them.  As long as Dean is alive, Sam will never be free to pursue a normal life.  Think back to Dean's speech in season 8 telling Sam to pursue his normal life only after Dean dies with a gun in his hand and a smile on his face.

The pivotal barn scene in the 15x20 finale was genius, bringing the series to full circle with callback to the pilot, fleshing it out, adding backstory to Dean’s pov that brings his fear, need, relief, and love to stark relief.  It hurt like hell, and at the same time, cathartic because Dean was honest.   The way Dean said, “Come here. Let me look at you. There he is!”  That’s Dean in dad mode, the parental figure to Sam.  The show reminded the audience in 15x18 that Dean raised his little brother.  Still in dad mode, Dean then tells Sam that he is proud of him.  It’s what every son wants to hear from their dad.

Dean then goes into brother mode and tells Sam he admires his strength even when they were children.  Sam’s strength is such that Dean was afraid that Sam doesn’t need him. Fearing rejection, he stood outside of Sam’s dorm for hours before finally going to Sam because it’s always been Sam and Dean, and Dean can’t comprehend if he didn’t have Sam. 

From there Dean gives Sam his blessing to keep living his life.  “I love you so much, my baby brother”. Sam’s reaction was pure and raw, he has always been honest about his wants and needs but craves Dean’s approval to pursue them, and now he has it.  Sam’s faith in Dean went answered with Dean saying how proud he is of Sam, how much he admired Sam’s strength so that Sam knows he is strong enough to go on living without Dean.  

Another reason why the barn scene is genius is the pilot callback sets up Sam and Dean’s reunion in New Heaven as pilot 2.0.  From there they will build their relationship just as Sam and Dean.  They are at peace without monsters disrupting their lives, without vindictive angels disrupting their afterlives, and without childhood angsts weighing them down.  They have both freedom and peace.

This applies to all of the hunters.  Jack’s New Heaven is like a retirement home for hunters where they can enjoy their peace and socialize with their friends and loved ones and even upgrade themselves to the people they were meant to be on earth.