#Is closure so much to ask for
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Also, WTF was that last scene?! What happened in those 2 hours?!?!? Like what?
#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd season 5#bsd season 5 episode 11#Fuck that cliffhanger#i hate it here#Is closure so much to ask for
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Thinking about the CFAU and marveling at how much Danny and Jason care for one another. Does anybody else figure out that Danny is going to kill the Joker, or is that knowledge Jason exclusive? I can't see Danny being close enough to any other Batfam member to disclose his plans, but I wonder if he drops hints. They're a family of paranoid detectives. I'd be surprised if they don't figure out Danny has a PURPOSE for being in Gotham at some point. Whether Danny's able to disguise it as wanting to be closer to Jason or not is another burning question.
Its def Red Hood exclusive! You're right in that Danny isn't close enough to disclose his revenge plot to any of the batfam members -- hell, not even Sam and Tucker know his true motives for returning to Gotham, and they're his best friends right after Jason! And Red Hood knows only because Danny accidentally slipped up ;].
I do also think that the Waynes kinda think something might be up with Danny -- at least Dick and/or Bruce might since they're the only ones who actually know him beyond brief mentions of him. Tim knows about him due to his stalking, but doesn't really know him -- and Danny plans to keep a healthy, friendly distance from the family so he can carry out his plans.
It's not that he holds any dislike towards them -- quite the opposite. He appreciates what they do for Gotham and recognizes the hard work that goes into keeping their Rogues Gallery at bay (even if he is bitter about Joker, but there's an obvious reason for that) -- but, well. He knows they're the vigilantes, he doesn't want to risk them sniffing out his murder plot before he can even go through with it.
Luckily for him he can excuse any distance he puts between them as just being busy with life and trying to settle in, and they're not close enough to him anymore to find it suspicious. I do think they figure out he's back in Gotham for a reason, Danny's not going to exactly hide the fact that he's back to find some kind of closure -- but what that closure is?
I think the only person who might suspect something sinister going on would be Bruce, who saw the sinking rage in Danny's eyes at the funeral -- it was part of the reason he didn't tell him who killed Jason (beyond secret identity reasons). But that depends on whether or not Danny reveals some of his hand, and the fact that he was still holding onto that rage (somewhat unwillingly) all this time.
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#cfau#childhood friends au#cfau danny#dpxdc crossover#danny's kept this deep-seeded hatred close to his chest for years. he's so close to his goal he's more careful than ever. he's under the#watchful eyes of his home city and the even more watchful eyes of her knights. he can't make any mistakes here -- not after the last one#with red hood. every step he takes going forward must be a cautious one so he doesn't draw the light of the batsignal.#also! funnily enough danny doesn't blame bruce for jason's death. sure they had a fight but he's not the one who sold him out to the joker#he's not the one who beat him to death. who blew him up. he's bitter over the fact that bruce withheld the identity of his murderer from hi#but even he can recognize the need to protect one's secret identity so he doesn't hold it against him that much. he's bitter over the lack#of action against the joker but that's a personal vendetta and again he recognizes how hard it is to be a hero. he would never ask bruce to#kill the Joker. he recognizes the fact that a hero cannot play judge jury or executioner and he respects Bruce's adherence to his moral cod#he knows it must be hard and he agrees that batman shouldn't kill. ever. bc if the batman kills the joker what's stopping him from killing#the common criminal? its a level of self-restraint and self-awareness that all heroes must have. and he genuinely respects bruce for it#if someone wants the joker dead that bad they can go and do the deed themself -- that's what HE'S doing. danny recognizes that his revenge#is wholly selfish in nature. it is closure for him and jason and him and jason only. its not good its not righteous its murder and danny#has come to terms with it.
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Okay but imagine this:
At the end we get a final scene with Ekko saying his final goodbye to Jinx who’s boarding the airship
(look they BOTH went though so much and I just want them to be happy
#I’m not even asking for much here#I just need them to hug it out#and I just needed to see Jinx alive and Ekko knowing it’s because of him that she lives#since he’s the one who saved her earlier when she tried to kill herself#like it would make so much sense without undoing the plot#plus Ekko and Jinx both deserve some closure#I’m definitely at the bargaining stage#arcane writers if you are willing to leave hints Jinx isn’t that can yall please give us this#arcane#arcane spoilers#arcane season 2#timebomb#arcane jinx#arcane ekko
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#GODDD he got no closure. you knowww his control freak ass is like. if we could simply talk it out i could put it to bed. <-- is that why vale won't give him the closure he needs? Vale knows Marc will fully move on from him once they talk and his controlling self can't have marc not being haunted by his ghost.
NEITHER OF THEM HAVE CLOSURE ! IT RULES ! fr they both have publicly been like yeah. it is a deep wound inside me that i think about way too often... still making public statements about it entirely without duress and of their own volition VERY recently. a narrative they could let die but it simply means too much to them. and in lots of ways it’s a way to be close. to relate to each other. to be singular in each other’s imaginings and in the eyes of the world. gone girl voice i’m the cunt you married. like vale has lost other titles badly! marc has pissed other people off! but it’s different with each other… and they categorically and eternally find themselves unable to let each other go. it’s literally a way for them to stay together.
#also if they had any ability to get closure from it literally ever they would be fucking nasty about it 24/7#like in fanfiction world vale is in love with marc but he will not let himself have a relationship (for reasons etc)#and so marc has to be a villain. it’s the only way he can keep that distance and have it make sense.#he cannot care that much about a rival… you saw him talking about pecco and bez being friends#he was like ‘you don’t do this’#and marc was a friend ! was one of his better friends ! he loved him !#and so he has to destroy him.#literally in that podcast when he says ‘i was the myth that marc had to destroy’ he is talking about himself. having to destroy MARC. 2 me.#motogp#callie speaks#asks#rosquez
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Hi hello I watched all of carmilla in a weekend when I was 17 because a student teacher who in retrospect I had a bit of a crush on mentioned that she knew one of the actresses. also I am pretty invested in all your recent vampire stuff because I watched iwtv in 2 days last week because your edit intrigued me
oh hiiii 🫶 thank you for indulging me. thats so cool that you watched iwtv! did it live up to the expectation?
i also watched carmilla at 17! or like, 17-19. i found it when s2 had just started and followed it to the end. did something permanent to my brain but i think it was a good thing. on rewatch now im like, i was right to like this. like it's a solid show, it's good. it has its flaws obviously but it's well written, the emotional moments still get me, i can see why i liked it and i still like it now even when it's not anymore, you know, meeting every need that baby gay me didnt even know they had
what it doesnt reaallyy do though - i dont remember if i posted abt this or if i left it in my drafts but - is explore vampirism as a concept. their subject matter is more lesbianism than vampirism. which is great! thats what they wanted to do and they did it and it's very good. but reading interview with the vampire the book rn im realising how much potential vampires have to be metaphors for like so many things and i started wondering like 'wait, did carmilla just not really engage with it or did it all go over my head'. but it just didnt really engage with it all that much. which again is fine bc that wasnt what they were doing. im glad they were more about the lesbianism than the vampirism
but there's this interesting difference in framing, because in iwtv they keep calling armand 'ancient' right? and emphasising how old he is. and he's like 500? and i was like 'wait isnt carmilla like 400?'. she isnt, shes 340, but still, thats getting there, you know? and we know quite a lot about her history, but kind of just the Big Events. when she was turned, the events of the novella, coffin of blood, silas. thats sort of what we know. but none of the long lonely slog of history day to day you know? with armand i feel like we can really feel how much time everything takes. how every one of those years is made up of single days. with carmilla i dont feel that as much. i keep kind of thinking about daniel, when louis calls him a boy in the first episode, saying "im an old man, with all the triggers that come with it"
because carmilla might look 18 (or mid twenties at this point) but she has lived all that time. shes also seen her native land be claimed by like a succession of ruling powers, right? like armand. shes been buried alive, like louis. when lestat is born, shes already 80 years old, shes lived a whole human lifetime, and the entire adult part of it shes been a vampire. shes lived through 1680-1870 being a lure. i compared her to abigail hobbs in some tags on a post, i dont know if youre familiar with hannibal the tv show, but i do also kinda keep thinking about that comparison
if youre not familiar, in the first episode of hannibal the murderer of the week is this guy garrett jacob hobbs who kills and cannibalises girls who resemble his daughter. and later on it turns out she was made to be his lure. like they'd go places and he'd sent her to the victims to make friends and maybe get them back to their home or smth. not sure if they specified all the details. but that's what carmilla did for mother. and in s2 we hear from mattie that while every couple of decades carmilla had to lure victims for the fish god, she also seemed to just enjoy humans between those times, right? like the doctor, gets lonely, gets a new companion. but we've only sort of got mattie's mocking word for it ("dont eat him, hes a poet! or her, shes got such a wonderful voice. or that one, shes just too pretty to ruin"), we don't know exactly from carmilla's point of view what she was doing or why. if mattie's talking about stuff that happened after the blood coffin, 1950-now, then i think it's a fair assumption based on what carmilla says in the s1 sock puppet show that after she'd figured out what the real situation was and what her role in it was, when she'd started trying to save girls from being sacrificed, that she mightve been doing the same trying to save people from becoming mattie's victims. it's probably more likely that she was just trying to find excuses to stop mattie from sucking someone dry rather than actually having like an aesthetic based morality. but it might be a bit of both. im still trying to figure out what her philosophy actually is, like i dont know what existentialism actually means ghkfjghkj but i will
i also found it pretty striking in the movie when shes turning back into a vampire she says like "this was supposed to be done, you know? the blood lust, the self-loathing, the sleeping tied to a chair in my own bedroom". thats what defines her vampirism, wanting blood and hating yourself for it (the third part is a joke/reference to s1 but also i think meaningful for how she sees her relationship with laura when she IS a vampire. little bit of that 'she will reject me for my monstrousness' shining through). and thats what defines vampirism for lots of vampires across the genre obviously, but i dont know, it struck me. we dont get a lot from carmilla's pov, we know a fair amount about her, but the story is always told through laura. we get laura's diaries, but just snippets here and there from carmilla, what shes thinking, how shes feeling
and i love that shes a philosopher. i love that thats how she seems to try and find something to hold onto, in a world that kind of moves around her, having been murdered, kidnapped, turned and groomed to be a lure on the cusp of adulthood, never having been properly loved (the relationship with her father wasnt good she says in s3, and her mortal mother i dont think has ever been mentioned (like laura's)). the only good relationship she seems to have had for the better part of 3 centuries seems to have been mattie, and mattie seems to love being a vampire. i can imagine carmilla just sort of going along with anything mattie wants to do just because shes so desperate for that friendship. not like, against her will necessarily really. but more like, she hasnt even had the space to develop her own will, you know? and philosophy lets you do that. philosophy gives you frameworks to understand the world and to develop your own opinions on it. and by the 21st century she seems to have developed those opinions, she has a sense of her own values, but shes also still stuck in that same situation. shes jaded and cynical in the face of laura's optimism and strong moral code a lot of the time in s1 because she feels probably pretty powerless. like she does what she can to save some girls but at the end of the day shes scared of her mother and she has nowhere else to go really, right?
i like how she grapples with that over the course of the series, in tandem with laura grappling with her black and white morality. she sort of jumps ship from her mother to laura bc theyve fallen in love, but then laura still stuck in her hero thinking refuses to see her monstrous side. not literally bc i think the biological vampirism never seemed to be a problem for laura, but morally. the having murdered. carmilla needs laura to see that and love her while seeing it bc the last girl she loved rejected her for being a vampire.
but you see her kind of swing back and forth in s2. she softens first with laura but then they break up and she leans back hard into the sarcastic cynic defense mechanisms, leans hard into "im a monster, dont expect heroism from me". but thats like, it's sort of learned helplessness i think. it's powerlessness, resignation. bc morally shes not a monster. maybe she doesnt have as strong a drive to help other people as laura does and is a little more selfishly hedonistic in that she just wants to enjoy her/their life, but she doesnt hurt people for fun, she never has. she just sort of didnt have another option for a Really long time. so she pretends she doesnt care. "im a vampire, this is what i do, this is who i am". but clearly from the way she talks about it when she turns back into one, she doesnt enjoy it
and i like how she goes even further in s3, where she starts swinging even more to the heroic side, bc she sees hope. shes like "wow if we kill my mother, i'd be free". theres hope and she becomes like a lot more active. and shes like that at the start of the movie too, a lot happier, a lot more relaxed, and then vampirism is back and bam depression gfhgkjh like shes immediately more gloomy, ashamed of her past and her self, retreats into herself
sorry i just took this as an opportunity to dump all the carmilla thoughts floating in my head on you. you didnt ask fhkghgjh consider this an open invitation to you or anyone else to come talk to me about carmilla
#just finished watching the movie and i had actually forgotten but at the end shes a vampire again!#they totally gave us a super great opening for more conflict to explore hollstein's relationship#bc carmilla sort of puts closure to her past by taking responsibility for her part in it and it makes her a vampire again#and laura is like 'dont give up on our life together' and shes like 'im not giving up on anything!'#and laura is like 'we're supposed to live and get old and have grandkids how are we gonna do that if you dont age'#so thats a great set up#im putting the fic im writing i think another 5 years in the future#bc the movie is 5 years from the end of the series and im doing another 5 years so it's 2024#but theres so much opportunity to play there. theres conflict. tehres problems to solve. but theyre in a good place#i dont think they ever specify how vampires are made in this universe#therees some posts on carmillas blog where she responds to asks abt why she doesnt turn laura or if she would#and she just says 'you have no idea how this works'#but that was still during the series and the writers obviously wanted to keep their options open and their writing cards a bit closer to#the chest#but at this point you could make laura a vampire#you could explore that. see how they both feel abt that. would bea difficult decision#theyre also not married yet in the movie#they celebrate carmilla's 'rebirthday' where she turned human again#you could do a thing where they turn laura on that same day. sort of make that their wedding#not an easy decision i think. i think it would take a lot of discussion to get them there but not impossible#and would be fun to explore. both their feelings abt all that. and like anotehr 5 years in the future where they are in their lives#idk idk. brainstorming#thanks for giving me an opportunity to infodump a little :)#carmillaposting
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I tried a lot, I really tried, but in the end it's inevitable... JN ASH IS THE WORST VERSION OF THE CHARACTER AND THE FACT THAT HE IS THE FINAL VERSION HURTS MY SOUL!
Eh, while it's true he didn't do much in Journeys, I don't mind his characterization there. It's very Ash-like and consistent to what he had been through beforehand. There's some off moments, but bleh, every season has it too.
I think lots of people hate it cause too many folks keep projecting that he is older than 10 and when he actually acts that age, it feels OOC when... it really isn't... he is just acting his canon age 🤷
Also I'm the kind of person that is just glad he's gone. Period. His send-off was far from perfect, sure I wanted more from it, but at this point? I'm just glad it happened and for that alone I'm thankful for journeys.
#answered asks#|→ not not#look i get it being sad about the ending being open ended and not giving closure to him or any chara for that matter#gosh. for like a few months after the anime ended I cried a few times thinking about how /that/ was dawn's final moments. it sucks man#JN is far from my fave season but like its not that bad#its the best the writers could make out of 25 years of building to nothing and deciding to get rid of ash on a whim#in the middle of a pandemic nonetheless#so like#bitch i take it#i take this mediocre ending anyday than ash staying as protag for another 25 years thank you very much#we had better moments to get rid of him sure#but they didnt. so doing it in JN was the next best thing and i'm perfectly fine with it#I would be shitting bricks if he had left during kalos LMAO that version of him is the one i dislike the most :v
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#thinking of dinosaurs and troodontids were my favorite dinosaurs as a child#when younger i had a real full troodontid tooth fossil that meant a lot to me#for a time we lived within a few kilometers of hadrosaur sites and troodontid sites#while wider general area had many sites of recovery for the big celebrities like tyrannosaur and multiple dromaeosaurs#at that time troodontids were kinda infamous for i think the depiction in some childrens field guides and dino books#which depicted like a fantasy speculative humanoid troodontid based on 1980s model at Canadian Museum of Nature in ottawa#anyway would visit a small local paleo center a lot and woman in her 70s or 80s ran the counter of their center and rock shop#one day she asked me what my fave dino was and i said troodon so she pulled out the tooth and just gifted it to me#in little black case size of ring box with padding and transparent plastic viewing cover kinda like laminate for displaying a trading card#tooth got stolen from out my vehicle while giving some people a ride while at university before i got too poor for tuition#later during first year of pandemic owner of my storage unit died and new property owners threw away everything i ever owned#i was homeless anyway lost job due to early pandemic closures and had to allocate any money to insulin and other prescrip meds#but wouldve found a way to save my things if the new owners had contacted me#they threw out photoalbums y backpacking gear y books y musical instruments y clothes y artwork y camera y all family keepsakes#and all childhood treasures like souvenirs and gifts and school awards and writing portfolios and all the little memories#which i was always sentimental about as child#from earliest age my room looked like a natural history museum with plants and maps and library of field guides#and rocks and field trip keepsakes and all kinds of little animal figurines and mother had painted room in forest greens and browns#to feel like a forest and among the succulent plants and a globe sat the troodon tooth#parents passed when i was a child#never near any family and were always moving never got to settle into proper stable place then father passed after long sad illness#and mother put in so much effort but she passed few years later and i could not take care of myself or my remaining material possessions#and so im still quite hurt having nothing whatsoever remaining of my childhood or school friends or mother or life generally#and when trying to process grief my thoughts often come back to the troodontid tooth as a focal point a distillation of what was lost#even when young i knew it was advised not to become too connected to material physical possessions#but still there are some small little trinkets in our lives that seem to hold so much meaning and i tortured myself for losing that tooth#thinking about troodon reminds me of childhood
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In your Myosotis headcanon, where's Es in all of this?
Ooh, so for now, I’ve been picturing the happiest option: they’re an ordinary child, placed back in their home with family and friends, given the same type of memory-wipe. Milgram needed an unbiased party for their experiment, so they grabbed a random child and made a blank slate themselves. There’s also the slightly sadder option that Es’ amnesia occurred pre-Milgram, in which they’d wake up in a hospital after some kind of accident, still without a family/past, but at least they’re safe. Then there’s the much sadder option that Es is put on trial after the prisoners, and is found guilty – no matter where they started, they don’t make it out of Milgram.
There’s also a bittersweet theory – I’ve always liked theories that Es didn’t begin human. They’re a manifestation of us, or the victims, the prisoners, a brand new construct, etc. If this were the case, I can see Milgram returning them to whatever peaceful state they began as. If they were made up of other people, they’d have some kind of closure/revelation, and they would be much more at peace when they disappear (compared to an actual death as a human.)
Regardless, I think the prisoners have very mixed emotions on them once they remember everything. Some would be angry once they saw which prisoners were executed. Some would recognize they were just a kid and feel sorry they had to go through all that. Some would be plain curious about who they are in the outside world. I think searching up a minor with only a nickname and vague physical description would prove to be very difficult, but I can still see them succeeding after enough time, or with a meeting-coincidence like Yuno and Fuuta’s.
#thanks for the ask :D#this definitely started more as a theory than an actual au so i was waiting on more info for es#but if i had to put something down here are my options 🤔#favorite out of these is es-is-the-victims theory --#each one gets their closure of forgiving/condemning their killer and fully understanding why things ended they way they did#and then they all break apart from how they formed es and move on to the afterlife#but for story purposes id probably lean into the amnesia-kid one so they can have interesting interactions with the prisoners and built up#a new life after milgram#and by 'interesting' i mean both sweet and healing and painful#no matter how much the prisoners make up with and take care of es theres always that tension between them that es#killed some of their friends and could very well have killed them too#but the power is all flipped around now that theyre nothing but a small 15yo surrounded by people who have all taken a life and might#have a grudge against them#BUT#on the bright side i think there would still be sweet and relief-filled reunions since they are just a kid and the prisoners worry#milgram#es#myosotis route
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Stoppp because the thing about Samantha talking about seeing her brothers face is what legit breaks my heart the MOST about all this… her life ended as a child and the whole time she was hurt by grownups and just wanted to see her brother.. and she never did… until she was a ghost and they said their goodbyes… anyone who’s not touched by this is just not human 😣
in her diary she talks about the dreams that she has and then she says that she just wants to see her brother's face "for real" and she never ever does, she only sees him again in death, in holographic spectral reunion. and even then she just smiles and runs to him. does everybody just feel alright after this? everybody else just go on?
#he hates himself so fucking much for his whole life and all she wanted was her brother. like basic literary tragedy isnt it#asks#closure
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I WANT WRITING PROOOOMPTSSSSSS
#im srry i keep asking for them trust me im not ignoring them#i literally write them....off the rails#like so much that it's like. i cant post this#this has become embarrassingly cumbersome#it happens with original ideas the most tho so it's like. having a prompt helps guide me better#but it can also be a double edged sword in springboarding my ideas off that even more#idk whats worse#a one-sided thanasis crush on jrue fic has turned into the older sibling sacrifice fic#bcs thanasis realizes giannis actually likes jrue too and thanasis has always lived his life#trying to help his baby brother#so he has to resign himself as the older brother once again#and tries to gaslight himself into thinking jrue only talks to him out of pity bcs he. like everyone else. sees thanasis as giannis brother#as his life has always been. attached to another name like a parasite#but jrue takes thanasis's shying away the wrong way and gets hurt over it bcs hes very forthright and not roundabout#which was one of things thanasis admired abt him#and when he gets traded he sits with thanasis to eat at a restaurant for some comfort and closure over this tension#but thanasis thinks it's just a ploy to get some info on whether giannis was involved or not#theres times where theyre very complementary bcs jrue hangs out with thanasis to help him bring out his actual person#since he knows being an older sibling can be more of an overshadowing name in life than a fun factor#but then this misunderstanding makes things uneasy#like jrue loves sitting on the same side of someone in a booth so when he sits right next to thanasis at dinner#thanasis gets all sweaty and blushy and keeps accidentally dropping his fork everytime their knees touch#it's cute until he starts wondering if this is some kind of intimadation tactic but thats just how jrue is. theres literally no#ulterior motive. like thanasis knows jrue can be cutthroat. but hes not cruel tho. he sits next to thanasis bcs he likes sitting next to ppl#not across. it's literally so simple what theyre dealing with externally but internally it's so locked in and convulsing#it's confusing. and it's so dumb of a fic like whos gonna read this shit lol CAN I BE NORMAL#anyways send stuff 😊😊 im bored#i need smthin light and easy (it doesnt rlly matter. im gonna turn it into smthing way worse than it should be idk why#(i need to go to a k*ll animal shelte
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Hiiiii! So, a few days ago you were talking about the whole thing with Amy, Rory, and River. And when I saw those posts a thought arose in my head and I wish to share it with you.
Since River grew up with Amy and Rory as Mels. And Mels was Amy's best friend do you think that they ever talked about children? Since I know that it can come up when talking with friends, and like... do you think that Amy might've ever expressed whether or not she wanted children?
And if she didn't, that Mels would've had to listen to her mother say that she doesn't want children? The idea is so heartbreaking and sooo interesting.
What do you think about it?
no, no, see, you're so right and this drives me wild.
because, the way i see it, i don't think amy wanted children. she's somewhere on the 'hasn't thought about it' to 'vaguely negative feelings about it happening' range to me, which falls sharply into 'Not Happening Ever Again' post-s6. (specifically, in terms of having a kid herself, even if she could, i really don't think she would. i do love that she and rory end up adopting a kid later, because that does make sense, for amy pond who grew up alone in one universe with her family swallowed by cracks in time before the doctor helped her set it right again, for her to want to make sure another child won't be alone in the world like she was. getting off-track here.)
and that's so. because the first real memory river/mels has of amy is of amy shooting at her. and depending on how well the silence fucked up the rest of her memory, it might be one of the very first memories she has at all. that's how she met her mother, crying for help and getting a bullet instead. her mother tried to kill her, so of course, you have to think. she must have needed to hear that she was wanted, right? even if she was taken away, even if amy shot her, at some point, melody must have been wanted?
river is good at getting people to do what she wants, but she is very, very bad at subtlety. and mels is younger, has less practice, so when she wants to know this, she's just going to ask. blunt and quick, easy enough because amy's used to the way mels will open her mouth and you just have to be ready to roll with what comes out if you want to keep up. it's why they're such good friends (like mother, like daughter.)
they're nine, and mels asks if amy wants kids, and amy wrinkles up her nose and says she won't have time for children, obviously, once her raggedy doctor finally comes back. they're fifteen, and amy and rory dance will they-won't they in a way that makes mels twitchy to watch, and taunting amy about wanting to have rory's babies is a good way to get on her nerves. but amy calls her gross, tells her she's got more life planned than children would leave room for, and besides, imagine her, a mom? it'd be a disaster.
mels does. a lot. she looks at her mother and just sees her best friend instead. she's not even sure what she wishes was there, but. maybe amy's right. and besides. imagine her, a daughter, instead of the ticking time bomb she really is? it'd be a disaster.
they're sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, and on. mels stands on the outside of a love story that births a universe. and her. how do you compete with that? not that she would know, not yet, she hasn't been there. but it doesn't make her feel any less alienated when amy and rory talk in whispers about a half-remembered world that's bled through to this life, about roman soldiers and boxes and the big bang of belief.
all these memories, they never mention children. on amy's wedding day, she's different, not like someone remembering a dream but someone who lived it. rory stands straighter, won't leave her side, and they're both so much older than they were yesterday. maybe now, right? a wedding's as good a time as any to decide you want kids.
mels not being at amy & rory's wedding is such an obvious lazy way of them trying to explain why they totally didn't just throw this plot twist together at the last minute that i'm not even going to acknowledge it. of course she was at their wedding. she's their best friend. there's too many people around the doctor, and she wasn't ready today of all days, so despite this horrible burning need under her skin to strike, she stays her hand. doesn't let him dance with her because she might just tear his throat out if he gets too close. stays with amy and rory as the maid of honor should. she must have been there for the awkward questions that always gets asked, 'so, any plans for a baby?' 'when am i getting grandkids?' 'oh, you two are going to have gorgeous children together.' standing a few feet from amy in her wedding dress and watching her mother tense and grit her teeth and brush off the questions. watching her look nervously at rory but never ask if he means it when his mom asks him if he'd prefer a son or a daughter, and rory answers 'either one, some day, not anytime soon.'
god i'm just going on and on, aren't i. but really, what's it like to know that amy never changed her mind. the next time she sees them, she's already been born and stolen. i don't like let's kill hitler for. so many reasons. but there is something compelling about how recklessly river lashes out at the world, at the doctor. even her sacrifice at the end is almost suicidal, throwing all her regenerations into this man without knowing if that will even work or if it might kill her to do it. but it makes more sense in the context of someone who has reached the end of a long, long wait for some kind of indication, any kind, that her mother wanted to have her. and finally been told, no. she didn't choose melody.
#like. to be clear also: i don't think the fact that amy didn't want kids and really didn't have a choice in giving birth to river#means that she wouldn't love river. i think it would make their relationship Complicated but i do think amy loves her. so much.#that's her daughter but it's also her best friend.#but like. god. to spend your whole childhood hoping you'll hear about some little glimmer of yourself.#a dream. a passing mention. a debate on baby names. anything. and to hear nothing.#and river is. like. she is really really bad at relationships right? we know this.#the person she's closest to is the doctor and she spends most of her life believing *he doesn't even love her*.#we're talking about someone whose base assumption about everyone is that they will try to hurt her at some point so she should always keep#one hand armed.#and her mother. didn't choose to have her. didn't have that choice. that has to fuck her up a little.#(and also serve as proof that river is. so so bad at knowing when she is loved. because maybe amy didn't choose to have her but she named#melody pond after mels her best friend. she has been choosing river every day for the past however many years since mels decided to come#here and be near her mom and dad even if only as kids. but river still can't see it.#and. given the nature of how the ponds disappear from her life. and we never get any closure about them and river.#you have to wonder if she ever did. river song do you know your mother loves you?#having the melody-as-river reveal be so close to the end of the season and then getting rid of amy & rory before they can actually do#anything with the three of them as a messed up little family unit is the show's biggest crime. because i don't know! i don't know if river#knew her parents loved her! i don't know if she *ever* came to terms with how she was born and how they didn't need to choose her then to#choose her now! i don't know if river ever really felt comfortable thinking of them as her parents rather than her friends?#according to the transcripts. river calls amy 'mother' twice. (and 'mummy' once jokingly.) she calls rory 'father' once. and 'dad' in angel#in manhattan. and it just. it drives insane right? it's almost weirdly formal. like the words aren't right but she knows she should say the#and. and. i don't think i'm ever going to get over river song.#i think that's the takeaway here.#ask#doctor who#river song#amy pond#rory williams
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Need Taliesin to play Kingsley again in the Apogee Solstice Reunion so I can see more of King/Molly's fierce protectiveness for his Magician, that lingering warmth and fondness, his heart that still aches for the man he sees as "softness and light." King getting the chance to save his Magician the way Caleb saved him. King getting a quiet moment to ask Caleb what Molly meant to him, if he ever felt the way King still feels for him--
#mollymauk tealeaf#caleb widogast#kingsley teaelaf#widomauk#king/molly more than any other character has no closure and i want to him the chance to grow and explore his feelings with all the nein#so bad#especially whatever was going on between him and caleb#and beau and caleb are just both so important to molly and they did so much to bring him back#i cant imagine king not running at the chance to save them#not after king asked beau and yasha to tell him about molly#not after he kept carrying beaus journal and promised to try and be a good person--#the way caleb calls king a stray and offers to take him in#warmly welcoming king back to the nein again and again
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visty vs 1nm8 confirmed please let this be one of the messiest battles in paralive history
hell yeah. so nice to see that all i have to do is complain abt something for it to work
#also i want a really messy tormented confrontation between kei and visty i hope it’s horrible and irreconcileable#i need kei to suffer soo so soooo much and take responsibility and suffer a little more i think it’d be funny#visty are better people than me if i’d had to live through rejection like that i’d kms in front of him in the next battle#lot of mixed feelings abt kei i really hope the writers dont fumble his character it’s something that can be so satisfying and beautiful#So anyways: Another year of no real plot and worldbuilding for the whole story but at least. there’s VISTY lore. maybe#i hope visty get closure. i hope kei discovers smt abt himself that he cant make peace with and goes to his grave years later — unrested#i hope he is doomed forever. it’ll be hilarious. at least for me. i’ll have a Laugh#ro talks#asks
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the problem of the matter is i did internalize so much of what ex friend believed about me. even though i knew he was wrong and knew what was happening and tried to stop it and if i took more action to stop it would have been abusing power i held in a way i couldn't live with myself for.
#A BAD PERSON TRYING TO RUIN YOUR LIFE WOULD'VE GOTTEN YOU FIRED AND EVICTED IN WINTER IN ALASKA YOU MOTHERFUCKER. WHICH I DID NOT DO#he was renting a room from my dad. for cheaper than he wouldve been able to find anywhere else. his brother was too#his brother didn't pay rent for over 6 months and my dad just forgave him the debt because my dad knew how much of a difference it wouldve#made when he was that age. and i had told him ex friend was family to me & my dad applied that to the brother too. bc he is a good person.#and one of the strongest parts of my support system. and i didn't say a word to him about what was happening until i knew he already had a#plan for when he would be ending ex friend's lease. so there would be no subconscious impact on ex friend's housing either#mgmt at work straight up asked me if i thought ex friend should be fired immediately multiple times and i'm in retrospect livid they put me#in that position but told them to go by the strike system in the employee handbook and to follow policy that ex friend knew perfectly. that#it couldn't be on me as acting assistant manager to choose#and after 10 months of workplace harassment i got a different job to save my life. ex friend didn't get fired.#he did saw trap shit to my brain!!!!!! jesus christ#he moved cross country to live with his long time gf he called his wife despite never having met irl. to a way more conservative state.#despite being gay. and she left him this summer lol#hadn't checked his twitter in over a year when it got pulled up frm an old link and i saw that. and when he was already at a low point too#me voice. oh no who could've seen this coming. from how you behave in every relationship in your life#may delete this in the morning. but i have to talk about it sometimes#i'm never reaching out for closure both bc he wouldn't give me any and because i know it would trigger him and i don't intentionally trigge#people. unlike him :)#vampire pit#like. i have to talk about it sometimes. i have to talk about it.#jam posts
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"jjk ending sucks because gojo's ending is sad why didn't people acknowledge him" have you considered what you are observing are themes and an integral point of his story and character
#jjk spoilers#271 spoilers#this is about the tone of the ending not about its execution#it's okay for an ending to be sad or bittersweet it's okay for things to be end up tragic#i understand you can be sad and you can think the ending sucks personally this is not about that. it's about whether it makes sense#i don't understand what would a funeral scene have done beyond giving closure to readers genuinely asking#is embodying what gojo wanted in having the next generation live not more meaningful than words about how gojo did great and was important?#thematically within the story gojo getting to have autonomy over his last appearance is infinitely better than people being sad abt him#the whole tragedy of gojo is being seen as a powerful object and being unable to connect to or be understood by others#a scene with people being like “we loved you so much senpai you were not a mere weapon” or whatever would've sucked so bad#it would've felt out of place but also insulting especially because one of the last things he says is that he doesn't want to be centered#let the man go#jjk#still talking
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Hi just coming here to say I love your art so much. Finding your Roman art gives me all the copium I need cause I miss him XD
trust me, he loves the attention ;3c
#masky gets the mail#doodle#roman torchwick#rwby#im glad u like him!!! i miss him so much its unreal#I DONT CARE IF NEO GOT HER CLOSURE I NEED MY CLOSURE#IM NOT OVER IT DAMN IT >:o(#dont ask about the pose i got real bored
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