#season 1 is peak but they ruined it with some seriously poor choices in season 2
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#how it feels to dislike the writing in prod*igy season 2#season 1 is peak but they ruined it with some seriously poor choices in season 2#I enjoy some qualities such as art/music and little bits of dialog from stand alone scenes#the voice acting is great considering#but the central plot choices in season 2? hell fucking naw.#once you start to look at it critically it collapses like a house of cards#maybe next time dont cast people based on nepotism and just write for the characters you already included#over the toxic positivity surrounding it#season 1 is good and it's the only reason 2 has any merit#9/10 season where?
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Danger Force Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 1
Episode 8: Return Of The Kid
Season 1 Masterlist
Click for vibes
The kids had never seen her move so quick.
Seriously, (y/n) was like a cheetah. Or whippet. Or rocket. Or anything else that could cross the Man's Nest floor in the blink of an eye, becoming nothing but a blur as she flung herself at Henry Hart.
The Henry Hart. In the flesh. All fuzzy-haired, slightly scruffy, and lanky, but he was there. He was real--for the first time in weeks. And she squealed right in his ear as she pulled him into a bone-crushing hug.
The poor kid barely had time to react before his arms were pinned and chest crushed, laughing breathlessly as she squeezed his torso. Was it her, or had he gotten taller? Perhaps it was her imagination, but she barely peaked above his shoulders, and he felt skinnier, too.
Remind her to cook him something good, however long he stayed.
But, to Henry's happiness and possible regret, she wasn't the only one who wanted to latch on and never let go. Ray lumbered up behind his sweet girl, throwing those humongous tree trunks around her and his old friend to pull both of them against him.
Okay, now, neither of them could breathe, not that (y/n) cared. Oxygen meant nothing when she had her doofus and her precious baby under one roof. Nothing could ruin her mood, laughing and holding them without ever wanting to leave their little human sandwich. How sweet.
"My baby!" She cried, reaching up to stroke Henry's cheek as Ray rocked them back and forth. Maybe it was a bit of an overreaction, but they missed him. At least he'd come home in one piece.
"Ah, welcome back, buddy!" Ray sighed, too, thinking a hug had never felt so good as the boy patted his old boss awkwardly on the back. It was getting harder to breathe.
"Yeah..." he replied tightly, returning the pets to (y/n) 's head, who at least had stopped deafening him with her screeching. "Kinda tight there, guys..."
"Oh, Hen, we've missed you so much!" The heroine said with a beaming grin, pulling back to cup his cheek, studying his face. Despite his boyish smile, He looked more gaunt and drawn around his cheeks. "You look like you need some cookies! And pie! You said you wanted pie!"
"That was, like, two months ago, (y/n/n)--and oh, I think I heard a rib crack..." the boy groaned when Ray squeezed them again, ignorant of his heroic strength as he nuzzled past her hair to rest his forehead against him. Seriously...five years of friendship, and he'd never been this touchy.
"Oh, my baby..." But at least she was as thoughtful as ever, pulling back to give him a little space, slipping out from between them. Finally, he could breathe a little, flashing his not-sister a thankful smile, only for Ray to close the gap.
While (y/n) merely stood back and sighed at the image he made as one would admire a beautiful, majestic painting, the man refused to let go, hugging him even harder now that he didn't have to worry about smothering his sweet girl. By God, he'd missed this kid...
"It's gonna be more than one by the time I'm done with you!"
"Doofus, remember what we said about personal space?" (y/n) winced when her husband squeezed Henry's waist - kinda like a reverse Heimlich manoeuvre, only he was the reason for the boy's choked gasps.
Like a snapping turtle, he refused to let go, so she had no choice but to get the others involved, signalling for Danger Force to circle the two. They tried to prise the doofus off, tugging at those beefy arms as the poor kid struggled, but Ray was relentless, even when his beloved wife wrapped her arms around his shoulders and yanked.
"Do not make me get the crowbar!" Chapa growled as she took the opposite arm to Mika, trying to give Hen a little wiggle room.
"It's so nice to see a dude hug another dude..."
"Right?! Bring it in, man!" Miles sighed dreamily, and Bose nodded, pulling his friend into a tight hug with a huge grin, patting each other's back amicably. It was sweet and not life-threatening like Ray's, who wouldn't budge despite the girls' best efforts. Their attempts were useless, but luckily, old Kid Danger had a trick up his sleeve.
"It's okay--it's okay..." he panted, giving his old friends a reassuring smile, even as the hero nuzzled into his chest. "I got this, but you might wanna stand back."
Whilst she was a little confused, (y/n) nodded and guided Mika and Chapa to a safe distance beside the boys, leaving her lanky baby with enough room to push the hero away. The kids cried in amazement when a green force field burst from the young man's body, creating a barrier between him and Ray and sending the idiot flying backwards.
That was one way to get personal space.
"Hah! You hate to see it!" Miles cackled when he watched the dazed superhero land on his butt, clearly having forgotten about the gift his old sidekick received from the Omega Weapon. His force fields were the only reason why (y/n) allowed him to wander off to Dystopia alone.
Still, the kid had the good grace to offer a hand and help his old boss to his feet, holding nothing against him when Ray flashed a nervous smile.
"Sorry....got a little emotional there," he said awkwardly, straightening his jacket as his pretty girl wandered over and excitedly took his hand. She needed its anchoring weight - anything to remind her this wasn't a dream.
"Just, you know, you've been gone a long time, and... we've been so alone."
"Speak for yourself, Raymond," Miss Danger retorted dryly, noticing how the children gathered on the couch cleared their throats - a little offended. He was such a drama queen, giving his first sidekick the big goo-goo eyes like he hung the stars in the sky, making Henry chuckle. Oh, how he'd missed the guy's craziness...
"Quiet! We're talking to Henry!" Ray snapped to Danger Force as they coughed, making everyone roll their eyes.
"You big doofus..." (y/n) shook her head, squeezing his hand lightly before Ray wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Henry could tell that nothing was new there, seeing the same old lovebirds as he used to, only now they were settled into married life. Prepare for the grossness...
"Anyway, what are you doing back in Swellview? Not that we don't want you here, of course! You know you're always welcome!"
"I know, (y/n/n). I know..." Henry replied with a breathy laugh as she ranted hurriedly, glad she hadn't changed in the last few months. "My dad is graduating from Juilliard...dot com."
"No way, your dad's a moron! He couldn't graduate from online Harberd!" Ray scoffed, remembering Mr Hart with disdain and all the times his idiocy caused a disaster.
"Yeah, dude! He's so dumb!" The boy agreed without hesitation, laughing with the couple like old times before growing serious again. "No, I'm actually here to see you guys!"
That had (y/n) tearing up, Ray smiling fondly when her bottom lip trembled. She clutched at her chest, giving the bashful kid a wobbly smile as she tried not to burst into tears, but he made it so hard. She didn't realise how much she missed him until he stood before her, talking so sweetly.
"My little baby came right back to The Nest!" She exclaimed, sniffing a little before throwing her arm around his shoulders. "Give Mama Bird a big hug!"
"Just because it's you, (y/n/n)..." he sighed, never one to refuse her innocent requests, and besides, she was much gentler than Ray. He savoured the warm snuggliness, wrapping his long, gangly limbs around her body as she squeezed him softly, knowing he'd missed her, too.
"Best hugs in Swellview, am I right?" He remarked to Ray and Danger Force, who smiled and nodded gently, knowing he was right. No one could say no to (y/n) 's hugs, not even Chapa, and Ray petted his wife's hair as she relaxed in her dearest friend's arms.
"So, how's my old job?" He asked the kids, hoping to make small talk while she got the hugs out of her system. "You guys go on any sick missions?"
"Oh, man! Tons of missions!"
"So many!" Chapa and Mika exclaimed, much to the older boy's excitement. He wouldn't lie; he missed the old days, fighting crime without any true responsibility, so he couldn't wait to hear about how they'd continued his legacy.
"Yeah? Cool! Like what? Anything...dangerous?"
"We once caught a guy who was stealing books from the library!" The girl said happily, but out loud, it sounded lame, not precisely the thrilling, daring adventures Kid Danger had in mind. Like how he fought a bloodthirsty, living virus or went to space--that was cool.
"Okay, but I was kinda looking for some sick fights, though..."
"Ooh!" Miles gasped, his eyes lighting up like he had a great idea. "We once battled every bad guy in Swellview at the same time!" Now, that was more like it.
"Noice! What happened?!" Henry asked, liking the sound of an epic brawl between light and dark, much like he'd done when he was younger. Had he ever told them about the train fight debacle?
"Mika let them all out of prison!" Only when the kid responded was it like a punch to the gut.
"Wow...I kinda spent my whole childhood locking those guys up, so I can't wait to hear how you all caught 'em," he said nervously, patting (y/n) on the back and when shuffled a little close. She was milking this hug for all she could get, but he was more concerned about the rampaging villains on the loose.
"We didn't!"
"Sick twist! They're all still out there!" Bose announced happily, ignorant of how his predecessor's eye began twitching, frozen in place, and not because of the woman hugging the living daylights out of him.
"I imagine that some of them are out there committing crimes right now!" Chapa added, equally joyful at the utter shambles they made of their first mission.
Ray took that as his cue to jump in, not wanting to revisit that humiliating defeat. (y/n) pulled away from her baby as he brushed past them, smiling sourly at the clamouring children as they nattered away.
"All right! That ends your visit with Henry--he's ours now!" He said, batting his eyelashes at what he thought couldn't be a better sight - his beautiful girl and precious best friend.
"I enjoyed our time together!"
"Hey, so, uh, how's Dystopia? Do you need us to come help you?" Ray asked quietly, ignoring Bose's innocent comment, who returned to nibbling on his now-cold Nacho Ball. He was desperate to know, or rather, desperate to be needed, still smarting from how they parted on bittersweet terms.
"'Cause I will burn this whole thing to the ground, take my wife, and leave right now."
"Raymond!" (y/n) warned lowly as Danger Force loudly cleared their throats again, much to the man's anger. He'd never snap at her so causally, but those little maggots? He had no qualms...
"Keep it down! God, they're always here, it's like--"
"--Like we're their teachers, and they're our students?" His sweet girl butted in with a teasing smile, and this time, she put her arms around his waist in a light embrace. Ray sighed, never staying mad for long when she was in his arms, returning the enamoured look while the kids watched on.
"Little demons, more like..." Much to their wrinkled noses, the man dropped his head and kissed her gently, holding the back of her neck so it wasn't just a peck. They were goddamn shameless, smiling against each other's lips for at least ten seconds while they all grimaced.
"Oh, there it is...wondered how long it would take," Henry retorted, eyeing the age-old scene with a judgy stare, knowing it had been hopeless to think they would've found some decency.
No, they were as touchy as always, and when Ray finally pulled away, he smiled at his precious girl like she was the only one in the world.
"Can't help it, kid..." he said gently, kissing her briefly and gently a final time as the heroine hugged his lithe waist, her cheeks and ears pleasantly warm. "I'm in love with my wife."
"Gross..." he grumbled, having war flashbacks about all those times as a kid when he saw them canoodling...or worse. Technically, it was his fault; he'd brought them together, but they'd always felt the need to kiss anywhere and everywhere, only saved when a loud, blaring beeping noise and red flashing light filled the Man's Nest.
"Emergency call!" (y/n) gasped, and suddenly, it was go, go, go. Slipping out of Ray's clutches, much to his disappointment, she dashed over to the supercomputer with Mika and Chapa, eager to see what was going down.
"Oh, hey, hey, this is perfect!" The hero gasped once he got over the disappointment of losing his sweet girl's warmth, but only because he'd come up with a brilliant idea. "We can go on a mission! Huh?! Let's pop some gum and have some...fum!"
"You know I'm all about that fum, big dog..." his old sidekick replied with a nostalgic chuckle, fondly remembering their old antics in the Man Cave, but something wavered in his eye... "but, you know, everyone thinks Kid Danger is kinda--"
"Hot?"
"Dead?" Bose and Miles suggested, and their ideas were wildly different and alarming in their own unique ways.
"Exactly!" He nodded at Miles, much to Ray's disappointment. He'd hoped to relive their glory days...
"What's the emergency?" Chapa asked impatiently, as always, peering at the computer monitors as (y/n) tapped on the PearPads for more information.
"It looks like there's a brawl at the nail salon," she replied once she finally found it, and honestly, it didn't sound too terrible. Merely a light workout for the more experienced crime fighters on the team, and that gave her a bright idea.
"Oh, Hen, we could go kick some ass and then get our nails done! Just like old times! Remember? I used to take you there all the time when that doofus was busy."
"I didn't mean to..." Ray mumbled shyly, staring at his shoes as Henry laughed nervously. He'd never forget all those hours as they bonded over the smell of acetone and acrylic, laughing until their bellies hurt.
He recalled how he'd comfort the young woman when her idiotic best friend went on a date with another woman. Still, most of all, he remembered the pain of biting his tongue when she cried, thinking Ray would never love her. It felt like a lifetime ago, and part of him wanted to regain that happiness, but...
"I know, doofus... Tell you what, you can tag along and pick my colour," she replied kindly, fluttering her lashes at her husband before turning to the kid. "What'd you say, Hen?"
"Y-yeah, you know I'd love to watch Ray pick your colour, (y/n/n), but..." he replied, and she frowned at how fervently he shook his head. It was like he'd seen a ghost or the slightest thing would make him jump like a skittish deer. Strange...
"I've been dropping so many fools in Dystopia, I was thinking I could just, you know...kick it here for a while. Maybe eat some of your famous oatmeal-raisin cookies?"
"Yeah--yeah! Coolcoolocoolcoolcool! We'll just kick it here, right, sweet girl? I was thinking the same thing!"
"I guess I'll get baking..." the woman said hesitantly, her Tummy Tingle telling her something wasn't right. She sensed danger, or at the very least, lies...but she couldn't quite pin them yet.
"That's my girl! Guys, why don't you handle this one yourselves?" Ray suggested, creating an excited buzz throughout the room, but it only deepened (y/n) 's frown. Looking at her students - her fresh-faced babies - she swore they weren't ready to go solo, at least not without some supervision.
"Yes!"
"Can I pee first?!" Exhibit A from Professor Bose.
"Doofus, are you sure that's a good idea? They've only been doing this for, like...two months!" She hissed, walking over to chat privately with her husband, not that he was apprehensive. Slinging an arm around her waist, he pulled her close, flashing a confident smile before kissing her temple - like nothing would go wrong at all.
"It'll be fine, darlin'! Why don't you pee on the way?" Ray grinned before reaching for one of the drool glasses and passing it to the boy as a receptacle. "There you go!"
"Maybe I should go with them..." (y/n) told her doofus nervously, and she moved to follow the team up to the tube. However, when she tried to leave the hero's side, he grabbed her hip and pulled her back into his chest, whining like a puppy to keep his soulmate close.
"No, don't leave me, sweet girl!" He grumbled, holding her back to his chest as Henry rolled his eyes, wondering how needy one guy could be as Ray rubbed his nose into the spot below her ear. "They know what to do--they'll be fine!"
"But what if they need help?"
"They won't! Death is very unlikely!" Ray exclaimed a little too cheerfully for (y/n) 's liking, but judging from the tight grip on her waist, her fate was sealed.
She offered a regretful smile to the kids, not that they minded. It was nice to have some freedom and get away from The Love Nest, practically buzzing as they assembled at the platform's top. A nail salon couldn't be that bad, and Ray had complete faith in them...and a burning desire for quality time.
"Okay, guys... Don't end anybody, and try not to let anybody end you, okay?!"
"Good luck!" The heroine shouted, waving her babies goodbye as they disappeared down the tube - just as Henry's phone pinged. He glanced at the notification, his eyes indiscernibly darkening as he read it. Still, when the lovebirds wandered over, he quickly shoved it in his pocket again.
"That nail salon's going up in flames!"
"Raymond! Don't say that!" (y/n) scolded her doofus, swearing she felt another tummy tingle at the boy's paling cheeks. Something was off about him...
"Oh, lighten up, sweet girl! Come on, pal! I'll give you a tour of the Man's Nest!" Ray exclaimed, lightly slapping the kid's arm before dragging his wife toward the metal door. She shook her head mirthfully but followed him, knowing she'd have to bake the cookies and prepare their guest room anyway.
"All right, yeah, cool! I'm right behind you, big dog!" Henry called after them yet stopped to read the slew of messages clogging his PearPhone's notifications.
All of them were from Charlotte and Jasper, begging to know if he was okay and where he was. One even said he couldn't escape his problems, but the boy ignored it, pressing the delete button without another thought. Out of sight, out of mind, and he really didn't want to ruin his time in Swellview. Not if it was the only time he had left...
"Are you okay?" A voice pulled him from his thoughts, and Henry looked up, surprised and alarmed to see (y/n) staring at him suspiciously. Oh, no; he couldn't escape her omniscient mind, gulping as she watched his every move.
"I'm fine..." he replied, carefully tucking his phone away before she saw any of the messages.
"Henry Prudence Hart, don't you lie to me..." she said sternly, stepping closer with one of her sternest gazes because her tummy knew something was off - she just didn't know what.
"Who says I'm lying, (y/n/n)?" The kid broke their held gazes to glance at the floor before giving her a wonky smile. Slipping his hands into his pockets, he tried to look as relaxed as possible, even if he was oddly defensive with his surrogate big sister. "I'm fine..."
"If you say so..." (y/n) said slowly, folding her arms, dissatisfied with his answer, but she'd work it out eventually. She always did, especially when her tummy tingled like that. Only the investigation would have to wait as she heard clumsy, ground-shaking footsteps coming back up the hall.
"Just know, I'm watching you, Hart--"
"Dude, don't you want to see my axe-throwing room?!" Ray asked excitedly when he reappeared in the doorway, seeing his precious wife and sidekick chatting quietly - a weird tension between them, not that he picked up on it.
"Hmm?" The kid hummed, snapping out of the staring contest to see the man's innocently wide-eyed expression.
"Dude, don't you want to see my axe-throwing room?!"
"Do you even have to axe?" Henry joked, plastering a grin on his face while ignoring how (y/n) planted her hands on her hips. She was onto him, but he played it off well, giggling with his old boss like nothing was wrong.
"God, I've missed this..." Ray sighed, taking his wife's hand in his, squeezing it from the elation of having the old trio back together.
"Me too, doof..." she agreed, hugging his arm before giving the kid one last suspicious glance. "You guys go enjoy yourselves. I need to make up the guest room and bake some cookies, apparently."
"You sure you don't want to join in, sweet girl?" Her husband offered, pouting slightly when she reached onto her tiniest toes to kiss his cheek softly. "You love it when I throw axes..."
"No, you love it when you throw axes, so spend some time with Henry, and I'll see you later, doofus."
"Okay--let's go have some fum!"
She didn't need to tell them twice, wincing through her giggles when those little boys yelled at the top of their voices, slapped each other on the butt, and ran off down the hall. They were as crazy as the other, laughing and screaming the Man's Nest down as she chuckled to herself - only to feel her smile drop when a dark thought crossed her mind.
Something was wrong - she could just feel it, murmuring to herself when she remembered the look on that boy's face when he got that text.
"What is up with you, Henry Hart?"
~The next morning~
"Hey, guys. Here's your fourth cookie batch."
Ray and Henry grinned as they watched their beloved Miss Danger enter the main room, a steaming plate of oatmeal-raisin cookies in her hand. She placed them on the table, rolling her eyes since they couldn't get enough of them; it was flattering to know her tried and tested recipe was so well-loved, but she'd barely been out of the kitchen.
She'd literally been slaving away over a hot stove while they, the chuckle brothers, played, pranked, and paraded to their hearts' content. After checking out every room in the Man's Nest in the evening, Ray and Henry played video games until the early hours and, after grabbing a few winks in between, were back at it at nine am.
And they demanded cookies for breakfast.
"Thank you!" They chanted happily as the warm, honeyed smell tickled their noses, knowing they could never get enough. She promised to make them some brownies, too, but first, they needed to beat this level, dancing their feet off on some computer game.
"Are they still not back yet?" (y/n) muttered after leaving the baked goods to cool, ignoring the annoying music from the holographic computer screens. Whilst they were having fun, crisscrossing their feet to the beat, she was biting her fingernails in worry.
Twelve hours later, Danger Force still hadn't returned from their mission at the nail salon. Ray told his sweet girl not to worry, arguing that they were probably just taking their time and having fun, but (y/n) wasn't so sure. Maybe she should've gone with them or at least told Ray to get off his butt when he showed the kid their sauna room.
"Relax, darlin'! This is great!" Ray exclaimed happily, throwing his wife and ex-sidekick a grin as he copied the movements of his giraffe avatar.
"I love this!" Henry nodded, bopping left and right, ignorant of his worried friend behind him. All he knew was the safety and comfort he'd learned in the Man Cave, and he didn't want to stop.
"I love you!"
"What?!" He yelled over the music, not quite hearing his old boss as (y/n) raised an eyebrow at their antics. Honestly, it was surprising that she'd not gone insane yet.
"I said I'd get ready for round two!" The hero quickly replied, saving himself from explaining something embarrassing as the game changed. As they entered the second round, the dance style changed, lowering the lights and switching to a soft, sexy tune as they took a minute to breathe.
"Round two! Tango! Time to get close!"
"Seriously? You two are gonna tango?" (y/n) asked amusedly as she plonked herself on the computer's chair. She would've thought it was a bit girly for them, something her doofus would've wanted to do with her since it involved shared space, air, and sensuality.
"Sure are, pretty girl, and if you're lucky, we can practice later, too," Ray told her with a wink, which left his wife to imagine what he meant by that. She hoped it would be a private lesson, but when she glanced back up, his attention had returned to Henry.
"Shall we?"
"I didn't travel halfway around the world to not beat the tango level on Prance, Prance, Revolution with you," the kid replied confidently, ignoring their flirtation to give his friend a grave stare. He offered Ray his hand, who took it without hesitation before they coupled up into a somewhat intimate embrace.
With both arms around their backs, clasping each others' hands, the boys stepped in time to the Argentine music, navels pressed together with every movement. They weren't bad, creeping along and wiggling their butts as Henry led the dance, meaning Ray had to girlishly flick his leg out before twirling.
Still, at least (y/n) could admire her doofus, thinking he looked ridiculously hot in his tight red shirt and jeans. His muscles rippled under the thin material with every move, making her sigh dreamily as she propped her chin up on her palm as that thick waist twisted and rolled. And don't get her started on those smooth, exposed biceps...
But suddenly, the tell-tale sound of the tube broke her out of the reverie, drawing her attention as the boys continued dancing. And to her relief, four tired, dirty, and unhappy kids arrived, looking like they'd lost a fight with Bob Geldof.
"Oh, my God, you guys!" (y/n) exclaimed in horror, hurrying to her feet when her poor students plodded down the stairs, utterly defeated and groaning with every step.
"How'd it go?" Ray was infinitely more casual, never breaking form as his sweet girl tittered over the children, guiding them to the steps near the front door. The tango was better than seeing if they were okay, despite how they groaned with every step, sticky with nail polish.
"It went great..."
"We broke up the fight..."
"With our faces!" The kids grumbled. Chapa sounded as grumpy as usual, shuffling to her locker with a huff and glare while Mika tried to keep up her optimism. They'd done as they were asked, and that was great, but Miles just wished it didn't hurt so much.
"Wasn't all bad. Got my nails did and had time to squeeze in a pedi..." Bose replied, and (y/n) wondered why he was walking so strangely until she looked down. His feet were beautifully smooth with moisturised skin and freshly painted nails, spreading his toes with those little foam dividers.
Although he was the only one who'd had time to relax - the fight was brutal.
"Pretty!"
"Nice!" The dancing duo complimented when they waddled closer, dipped, and twirled, admiring the soft blue colour - it matched his uniform, and smudging them would be a crime. It almost made (y/n) jealous that she didn't follow them.
"That call wrecked me. I'mma go throw up and lay down." Or maybe not. She winced as Chapa shuffled the steps with her friends, appearing utterly worn out as she tried to sit down, only to flop onto the floor instead.
All they wanted to do was sleep for the next fifty years, feeling like death had punched them in the face, but Ray had news for them - and they weren't going to like it.
"Nah, nah, nah, another call came in while you were out," he told them to a chorus of groans and furious curse words. "Bunch of firebees are attacking a honey store. Caller said some murder bears are headin' up there, too, so hustle up!"
"We just got our cheese steamed! Can't you and (y/n) settle a honey fight between firebees and murder bears?" Mika complained on behalf of her friend, given that one of them was practically unconscious and the others were bleary-eyed and exhausted.
She'd never heard of such a ridiculous emergency but gave (y/n) her best puppy eyes, fluttering her eyelashes as the woman bit her lip.
"Maybe we should take this one, doofus. Let them have a break..." she suggested hopefully, hovering by the boys as their dance continued. If anyone could sway Ray, it was her.
"Ooh, whaddaya say, partner?" He asked Henry, knowing he couldn't run off to fight crime and leave his old friend in the Man's Nest alone, not when he'd come specially.
(y/n)'s unease only worsened when her baby shook his head gently and refused, saying some crap about the video game when, really, she knew the old Henry would never shy away from a fight. What was up with him?
"Hard pass, my guy. We got a big lift coming up."
"Oh, my God. This is ridiculous..." the heroine muttered as they separated, teetering on their tiptoes in preparation for their big finale, which apparently was so much more important than saving lives.
"Sorry, kids. Buzz off!" But, with the grouchy hero's order, Danger Force had no choice but to trudge to the tube again, dragging their feet and grumbling as they called on their final energy reserves. They could barely walk, let alone take down bad guys, but that was fine - as long as Ray got to leap toward Henry for the lift.
He swooped above the boy's head, straightening his legs and spreading his arms like an angel as Henry held his hipbones high above his head with impressive strength. Seriously--how did he lift that much doofus?
"Okay, now that the lift is over, are you sure you guys don't wanna come help us?" Mika questioned as she and the others hovered on the tube pad, hoping with all hope that the man might change his mind.
Given his look of pure joy at being so far above the ground, it was unlikely, but they could dream.
"You're superheroes! Quit your bellyaching!" And a dream was all that would remain, Ray's harsh, biting tone making them pout when he refused to come down.
"This is what you get paid for!" Henry added, thinking he was being helpful. He couldn't count on both hands how many times he was sent to deal with the most dangerous situations, but that was what he'd signed up for. That was the job, and it was worth it for nine dollars an hour.
"You got paid?!"
"Down the tube!" Ray couldn't shout quick enough, sending his baffled students downstairs before he heard anything about unions and unfair employment tribunals.
The looks on their faces, knowing they'd been duped when Kid Danger raked in hundreds over the years... That was a problem for another, or at least, a problem for when (y/n) didn't have a migraine.
"Doofus....how long are you gonna stay up there?" She wondered with an exasperated expression when the kid's arms began to shake from the extortion. Holding a hundred-and-eighty-pound man wasn't easy when he barely had muscles on those chicken wings, yet Ray showed no inkling of wanting to be put down.
He'd always wanted to be a swan.
"Long as I can, sweet girl. Long as I can..."
Something told her that Henry's stay would be trouble - and her tummy tingle went again.
~A few days later~
To say Henry and Ray made the most of their little bro-buddy vacation was an understatement.
With Danger Force taking every call, emergency, or other predicament, the boys had plenty of time to hang out, relax, and mess about for four very long days. (y/n) loved having Henry home, of course, enjoying the quality time she spent with him for just under a week, but dear God, she felt like she was in Groundhog Day.
They had cookies for breakfast every morning, followed by some practice on Prance-Prance Revolution. Then, after playing lasted tag with actual lasers, she made them pancakes for lunch, followed by takeout for dinner. And in between, their activities were loud, brash, and guaranteed to nearly shake the house down. Not so good for her poor nerves.
The bachelor pad life was quickly wearing her and poor Schwoz out, so Ray and Henry promised to try something different, which was well-received--until they found the hero's old band kit.
"Who gave them the electric guitar again?!" (y/n) shouted to Schwoz as her doofus and precious baby rocked out on their raucous instruments. When she said she wanted to see them break their routine, she didn't mean to shatter her eardrums.
"WHAT?!" The genius yelled back, hardly hearing her soft voice as the boys created the awful racket. Schwoz was sure they thought they were God's gift to the music world - Bon Jovi rising again - but it made their ears bleed outside their little fantasy.
"I SAID--WHERE DID THE GUITAR COME FROM?!"
"RAY FOUND IT IN THE GARAGE. IN A LOCKED BOX. UNDER SOME TRASH BAGS," he explained to the heroine as she clamped one hand over her ear whilst the other waved a lighter on his phone. They were part of the illusion, allowing the musical morons to believe they were at some concert playing to millions of adoring fans. But they weren't - just them, alone in the Man's Nest.
"OH, GOODIE. I THOUGHT HE'D NEVER FIND IT AGAIN." (y/n) winced as her doofus came down the steps from the tube, her fingers clumsily dancing up the fretboard of his guitar - the one she'd carefully stashed away after he deafened them the last time.
She had to smile through the pain, remembering how he said Captain Man didn't need lessons--he was a naturally gifted player. And, most importantly, all ladies loved a man in a band, waggling his eyebrows at her - the groupie - as he twanged a few notes.
"YOU SHOULD'VE PUT IT IN THE INCINERATOR!"
"WOULD'VE, COULD'VE, SHOULD'VE, SCHWOZ," she replied at the top of her voice before giving her husband and friend a tentative thumbs-up.
They thought they were rocking out, hearing nothing but a sweet soundtrack, but it was terrible as Henry tapped his cymbals like a little drummer boy. It truly hurt her poor little ears, and that was before Ray prodded his strings, wiggling his tongue like Paul Stanley.
"MY GOD, THIS IS PAINFUL!"
"I GOT THIS!" The small man said before hopping off the back of the sofa, leaving her waving her PearPhone through the air, smiling through the pain.
(y/n) watched curiously as Schwoz scuttled over to the amp that fed the infernal noise from Ray's guitar. He couldn't do much about the drumkit, but he sure as hell could rip the wire out, killing the music without a second thought. Just like they killed their eardrums.
"Whoa, whoa, hey!"
"What happened?!" Ray and Henry exclaimed disappointedly, so distracted in their performance that they didn't notice a thing. They just saw Schwoz standing beside the amp innocently and (y/n) batting her eyelashes at her doofus with that sweet girl smile.
"You must have blown a fuse, doof," the woman told her husband, hoping to capture his attention by crossing her legs and sticking her chest out, and it worked. Like the needy puppy he was, Ray drooled at his pretty girl and her...finer features, smiling and nodding at her every word, no matter how improbable it was.
"Because you were rocking so hard and looking so hot while doing it."
"You bet I was, sweet girl..." he grumbled lowly, waltzing over to stand between her legs and cup her jaw. He smiled cockily as he pulled her lips to his, his ego definitely stroked and ignorant of how Schwoz twiddled his thumbs innocently.
Her arms slid around his neck as their friends rolled their eyes, but at least the genius was thankful for the distraction. He didn't care if Ray did make those sounds or where his hands wandered or whatever she whispered in his ear that made him smirk like that, but Henry... He was suspicious.
"Right, sure..." he muttered, not entirely buying it when (y/n) lifted the guitar over her lover's head so she could hold him closer without damaging it. Not that Ray was interested in music now.
"Can you believe we've never even practised before?" The doofus said when they finally came up for air, pecking his wife's forehead. His smile shone as he squished her cheeks together and gazed into her eyes, entirely in the palm of her hand, after wowing her with his talent.
"Don't need to practice when you're already perfect, dude!" Henry retorted, making his old boss glance over his shoulder with a smug expression. That's all they needed - the ego inflation.
"Wow...I've missed you."
"And I've missed Nacho Ball! Get outta my way." Before Schwoz could even joke about giving the old hero and sidekick their own room, the kid pushed past Ray and made for the couch, where (y/n) had left their fast food while rocking out.
It would be their fifth in four days, but whatever - he was living la dolce vita. The old man's sentiments didn't matter, not when he had a fried, cheesy ball of goodness waiting to be devoured. Henry hopped over the couch and quickly grabbed his sack, leaving the adults to do whatever they wanted.
"I do enjoy your little visits..." the woman joked as she went around the couch like a normal person, even if her doofus leapt over the back like a child.
They bought food, too, even though the thought of more French fries made (y/n) want to die. At least she got to share with her beloved idiot, splitting a jumbo Nacho Ball meal and extra-large soda because it always tasted better when she sipped from his. Weird.
"Ho-kay, well...if your little concert is over, I'm going to go back to work now," Schwoz told them tentatively once they'd backed away from the instruments of death, but by then, with food in front of their faces, Ray and Henry weren't interested. Not when they hadn't eaten in three hours--and one of them got to feed little snacky things to his sweet girl.
"Bye-bye, Schwozie!" (y/n) waved sweetly, which was more than the boys did as they immediately buried their noses in their plates. They didn't care what Schwoz did or where he went - a sore relief for the exhausted genius with a pounding headache.
He wandered off in a foul mood, complaining about their childishness, when Henry's phone pinged in his pocket, distracting him from how Ray snuggled into his wife's side.
She was interested in a polite, quiet dinner, nibbling a fry. Yet, her doofus laid his arm on the back of the couch, around her shoulders, leaning into her space to nuzzle his nose under her jaw. He whispered sweet nothings into her neck, practically laying in her lap more with every scrap of attention she gave him.
"Who texted?" (y/n) asked casually while trying to work around her needy husband's advances.
"Uh--"
"You're so pretty, sweet girl..." Ray muttered in a honey-like voice as his hand slid up her thigh, ignoring the food on the table and whatever Henry wanted to say. "What'd you say me and you take this to go and rendezvous in our bedroom?"
"Ooooh! I did not miss that!" The kid exclaimed when he noticed the hand under the table moving further north. That, and his mentor's smoochy mood, made him freak out, not wanting to know what he planned to do if he dragged her off behind closed doors.
"Doofus!"
"What?! Can't a man love his wife?" The hero said moodily, loudly kissing his bashful girl's cheeks as the boy shook his head, grimacing. It was enough to put him off his Nacho Ball, watching how the grown man became a simping, crawling, goo-goo-eyed idiot just because (y/n) smiled at his affection.
"Dude..." he muttered moodily, tapping his phone in exasperation when Ray kissed his wife again, "I'm trying to save these texts to The Cloud."
"Why?" (y/n) asked with a slight frown as she held her doofus in her arms, feeling how he nuzzled into her chest when the boy's phone did something annoying and unexpected. He really needed to turn off dictation, making one of Ray's classic mistakes when his virtual assistant began reading everything he wanted gone.
"Reading messages out loud."
"No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no---" All the colour drained from Henry's face as the voice dictated his texts, which ranged from weird to downright concerning, catching (y/n) and even Ray's attention amidst their kissing.
"You can't run from this thing. It will find you--"
"Henry--what the hell are you doing?!" The woman asked gravely, her expression turning from serious and concerned to utterly baffled when the kid jumped up from the couch to stamp on his PearPhone - anything to get the damn thing to shut up.
But they'd heard enough, even after he'd smashed the device, satisfying her gut in the worst way when it revealed that he'd been keeping secrets, just like she'd suspected. Sometimes, she hated it when her tummy tingle was right.
"That didn't sound good..." Ray muttered, swallowing a fry as he pulled away from his sweet girl to look at his ex-sidekick blankly. He didn't know what was happening, but he still snuggled up with her, just from how jumpy Henry was...he wasn't that stupid.
"Right?!" The boy asked nervously, shuffling around the couch on his tiptoes as he looked out of the windows and over his shoulder. "Hey, uh, totally unrelated question, but I'm, like, totally untrackable in the Man's Nest, right?"
"Oh, yeah, dude. Schwoz installed these macro-electron scramblers. Trying to find you here would be like trying to find a grey hair on my head," the man replied confidently, earning himself a whack on the arm from his wife since he could be so dense at times - so full of himself ever since she said he was hot.
"There's one right there." And Henry knew just how to distract him, being the cunning kid he was.
"What?! It's not true! Tell me it's not true, sweet girl!"
"Oh, Raymond!" (y/n) grumbled when her husband grabbed her by the shoulders, frantically shaking her shoulders at the thought of growing old. Some said he dyed his hair, others would disagree, but his floof was perfectly chocolatey - not that Ray knew that as he frantically combed his fingers through it.
"Now, Henry, you better start telling us what the hell is going on--" She turned to Henry with one of the angriest, sternest faces he'd ever seen on her - which could've been infinitely scarier than whatever had him so worried.
But her threat fell on its face when she was interrupted, dealing with both stressed-out doofus and a gaggle of children shooting up from SWAG in their chairs, and they did not look happy. Welcome to the club.
"Hey!" Mika shouted, closely followed by Chapa, Bose, and her brother. They'd been doing all the leg work for Captain Man and Miss Danger for days, keenly aware that their golden boy kept them preoccupied with his little visit, and that pissed them off.
"What? What? I don't have any grey hairs--you're old--what?!" Ray rambled, turning around to peek out from behind his sweet girl, who had just rolled her eyes and looked at Danger Force.
She wasn't in the mood for more angry, lying children, waiting for one of them to say the wrong thing before she exploded.
"We all have something to say to you!" Mika, the spokeswoman of the quartet, announced, giving her teachers a confident face as her friends rallied behind her.
"Well, I would sorely love to hear it. Just know that I am not in a cookie-baking mood anymore..." (y/n) smiled sweetly at them, folding her arms as she ignored the lanky, no-good, secretive boy behind her and focused on her other troublemakers. They didn't seem as confident as they were before.
"Chapa, tell them!" The girl quickly pulled her friend before her, her strength and argument failing under the woman's stern gaze. Chapa would be much better at shouting back, her grumpy frown matching (y/n)'s, although even she was anxious to take her on fully. After all, they were all friends here...
"We've been taking all of the calls for, like, three or four days now!" She started, the others yelling in agreement as the couple glanced at each other.
"We think you guys should take the next call!"
"Okay..." (y/n) saw nothing wrong with that, shrugging even as the children ganged up on her and Ray. If anything, she was getting cabin fever, hoping to get out into the action with her doofus, and now, she wanted to get Henry out, too. What was that he said about untrackable?
"We also think we should be able to vaporise one person a year for no reason at all!"
"Yeah!--Wait..." The others frowned at the little addition Chapa tagged onto the end of their demands, having not discussed anything about vaporising people when meeting in Mika's bedroom the previous night. They wanted fair treatment and a break, but maiming innocent people? It made the pause and quickly back-track.
Sure, we'll take the next call..." Ray told them as he looked at his precious wife, who nodded calmly and sipped his--their soda. She was ready to go, but the kid - he looked like he'd seen a ghost. "It's been a half-minute, my fists are getting thirsty, and crime is a tall glass of water."
"Please, don't punch my glass--" Henry asked the hero while the children celebrated their negotiations, but it was too late. Fired up and eager to fight, Ray smacked his thankfully empty glass off the table, happy to see it roll under the table since it meant he got a glimpse of his sweet girl's butt when she had to pick it up.
"Raymond!"
"What, sweet girl? Next call that comes in is gonna go home in a body bag," he whispered dramatically, clenching his fists before swiftly yanking her into his embrace. She could tell he'd not been outside in a few days, acting all hyper and needy even as everyone's brows flew up at the...overkill.
"Doofus, what have we said about saying murdery things?" (y/n) murmured in his ear as she patted down his chest. To say he was being so jumpy, his muscles looked good in that shirt.
"That's how lawyers get involved?"
"Exactly, so let's remain calm and take the next call."
"Yeah, but I mean, who even knows when the next call is gonna come in?" Henry said nervously, wrinkling his nose when they kissed again, but it was a small price to pay since it distracted them from the whole going-out thing.
The mere thought made his heart pound, palms growing clammy at the idea of venturing outside the safe Nest walls. But the emergency alert began to sound before the heroine could even give him one of her suspicious stares. Red light and the loud siren filled the room, and if he was scared before, he was practically bricking it now.
"Oh, would ya look at that?" Chapa said nonchalantly, an evilly sweet smile as she looked at the anxious kid. "An emergency call."
"How convenient..." Ray said poignantly, anything beyond coincidence going over his floofy head as Mika walked to the supercomputer to see what was happening.
"Exactly. Someone's trying to rob that corner store - How Convenient," the girl told them, making Ray smile at the map on the holographic screen. It was in Downtown Swellview, not too far from their hideout, but definitely in a grungier part of town. Just the sort of place filled with the scum the hero wanted to wipe the floor with.
"Oh! So, you, me, and my sweet girl are going to Pound Town, buddy!"
"Doesn't look too difficult, but we should get going..." (y/n) noted as she and her doofus pulled out their gum tubes. Admittedly, a little flutter of excitement ran through her veins at the thought of the old team working together - the thrill of being in the trio again, even though she played it cool.
She was more than ready to become Miss Danger again, but when Henry hesitated, she got that funny feeling again...
"Pound Town is nice this time of year, but, uh, I really just wanna finish my Nacho Ball," the blond boy told them shakily, all but looking like he could bolt at any minute, making the couple frown as they chewed their gum.
Yet, when he returned to the table, hoping for a refried, golden, crispy distraction, he found Bose sitting on the steps with his plate and cheese smeared across his lips - chowing down. Leaving that Nacho Ball unattended was a mistake.
"Chapa ate it..." he mumbled guiltily, despite being caught cheese-handed.
"Come on, man. Pop one of those Dystopian gumballs. I wanna see that swet 'stume," Ray excitedly said to his old friend, who undoubtedly fought in something other than his old uniform now. They'd never seen it, leaving him to fight alone with Jasper and Charlotte in the other city. Still, they only got a wobbly smile and lying eyes.
"Aw, God--I--I didn't bring any."
"Say what now?" (y/n) quirked an eyebrow at him, not buying it for a second when the boy nervously rubbed his hands together, barely able to stand still. She was a skittish person by nature; she knew anxiety when she saw it, especially in a boy who'd tried to blindside her a dozen times in the past.
"You're telling us that somehow, miraculously, you forgot to bring your gum, even though it's the one thing you keep on you at all times?"
"Yeah, (y/n/n). I must've forgotten to turn on the gum reminder app on my phone." He gulped, seeing the amusement in her eye the second the lie passed through his teeth, hands on her hips, as Ray frowned at both of them. He was dense, but even he sensed something weird was happening.
"Yeah, well, the BS-detection app on my phone is telling me you're making that up," she replied sternly, holding the gum against her inner cheek as she stepped closer--until she was nearly toe-to-toe with the boy. He said nothing, bravely holding her gaze to deny everything she accused him of, but Miles didn't care.
He was a guy of action, thrusting his arm in the air and suddenly appearing beside the ex-sidekick because there was something in his pocket... He pinched a tin from Henry's back pocket in a flash of light, hearing the unmistakable rattle of gum inside. Busted.
"What are these, then?"
"Funny that..." (y/n) said dryly as everyone watched the lanky kid scramble for an answer. Of course, Ray said nothing - he never did to his favourite child; he was just happy that there was gum, even if it came out of thin air.
"Guess I did bring some! Thanks, buddy." Henry plucked the tin from Miles' hand, smiling tightly at him, his voice strained and almost hoarse with his bubbling anger.
It didn't deter the younger boy, who mirrored Chapa's infamous saccharine grin as he patted his learned friend on the shoulder, only to have his hand abruptly pushed away. For someone who said he wasn't bothered - chill in the words of the modern youth - Henry looked pissed off.
"Something wrong, Hen?" (y/n) asked innocently, blinking when her baby looked at him in annoyance, almost crushing the case in his palm.
"No..."
"Come on! It's right down the street--we'll be back in five minutes," Ray told him, despite having every intention of dragging the fight out for everything it had. Anything to fight side-by-side like they did in the good old days.
"Five minutes?" Kid Danger echoed nervously as he unscrewed his gum, hands shaking as they wore down his resolve. It looked like he didn't have much choice, but the mere thought of stepping outside made him feel sick - five minutes would feel like forever. Five minutes was all it would take.
"Yeah! Have I ever lied to you?" The man replied brightly, only to get several dry looks in return.
"You once told me you were born in nineteen-ninety-eight..." Henry recalled, much to the sniggers around the room - even from (y/n). Would that make her a cougar? Dating a guy ten years her junior?
Everyone giggled at the flustered hero, who immediately snarled at the children as he grabbed her waist and pulled her into his chest. He didn't want her to see his pink cheeks from the minor fibs he told.
"I was! I was! Ninety-eight! Year of the...fist!"
"Technically, it was the year of the tiger," (y/n) said, giggling as she gently hugged her doofus' waist, hoping he'd stop pouting when she snuggled closer. She didn't care about his age; if anything, it was hot - the hand of experience. "And, you big doofus, if you're secretly twenty-three, I'm the next pope."
"Your holiness..." Ray smiled, glancing down to make the mistake of getting lost in her eyes. She made him feel young - full of butterflies, warmth, and endless energy - enough to quell his current worries. That, and the kiss they shared.
"All right..." Henry muttered, swearing under his breath from his internal anxiety and their canoodling. He never understood how they could kiss and chew gum simultaneously. Still, Ray made it work, somehow cradling her jaw and patting her ass together, too. "Let's blow and go."
"Finally!" The woman grinned, excitedly rubbing her hands together as she hurriedly pulled away from her doofus, pecking his lips a final time. She stood between him and the moody teen, feeling her husband slip his hand into hers and squeeze, grounding them in a surreal moment.
At one point, they thought they'd never see Henry again, let alone fight crime with him. But, as they transformed into their super-suits, becoming Captain Man and Miss Danger for the millionth time, they saw a new, grungier side of their old friend.
His uniform was...different. Kinda like he took everything about the Kid Danger costume and fucked it off. Instead of bright colours and protective equipment, the couple were shocked and concerned to see him wearing dark skinny jeans, a crusty, frayed t-shirt, and a thick, leather jacket shrugged over the top. The only way of safety they saw was his gloves, but even so, there was no padding, no layers, and certainly no mask.
It was Henry Hart - emo edition.
"Dude, where's your mask?" Ray asked concernedly. He could look over the dingy, dark outfit, seeing why it might be cool on some people, but nothing protected his identity. That was just stupid.
"Oh, we don't actually wear masks in Dystopia."
"What?!" (y/n)'s eyes nearly fell out of her head at the revelation. All she heard was that three of her beloved babies were running around the most dangerous city in the world, allowing every villain to know who they were. Were they trying to get themselves pulverised?
"Yeah, I don't know, we're just kinda beyond that," the boy replied coolly--as if it wasn't a big deal. He looked at the adults like they were stupid and boring. Still, even Danger Force could see the perilous risks he took by not wearing one, awkwardly fidgeting around the room.
"Actually, that's extremely irresponsible."
"Mask-wearing saves lives..."
"(y/n/n), come on. It's fine," Henry said to his strongest ally as the traitors around the room pandered to their teacher. He didn't care what his replacements had to say, defiantly staring at the heroine with pleading eyes, not that she cared.
"It's not fine, picklehead," (y/n) told him firmly, wandering over to the drawer beside the supercomputer to find something suitable. She was sure they didn't have a mask to hand, but since it was dark, as long as they covered his face, the kid would be okay--if she didn't whip his butt for being so difficult before.
"While in Swellview, you're gonna put something on your face."
"Nah, nah, nah, nah. You always do this, (y/n)!" He complained, batting away the woman's hands when she tried to put a pair of dark glasses over his eyes. They would just make him look stupid - what idiot wore sunglasses at night?
"No one likes a whiner, Henry. Put them on!" He could try to push her away, but that only made the woman more determined.
They argued back and forth, shouting over each other as he attempted to dodge the glasses. He didn't win, of course, eventually giving up when she kicked his shin and told him to suck it up. Finally, she shoved them up the bridge of his nose, smiling with satisfaction when he sighed, arms falling to his side.
"You look great!"
"I look stupid!" The kid grumbled, moodily stomping to the tube as Ray took his sweet girl by the hand. He said it, not her.
"Well, it's a fight, not a fashion parade, so let's go!" (y/n) hurried after her doofus, waving to Danger Force as they cheerfully yelled their goodbyes, relieved to see the backs of them since it meant they could finally rest. Ray could barely contain himself, excitedly buzzing beside her as they waited on the tube pad, clutching at each other's hands as the hero hit his belt buckle.
"You wanna call it?" He asked his old friend, smiling at him for old times' sake, and even in his cranky mood with the demon butterflies terrorising his belly, the kid couldn't say no. Not when he felt so nostalgic.
"Up the tube!" Henry shouted, only for the machine to buzz lowly at him. The lovebirds beside him gasped and cooed, saying something about him being adorable and just a baby because he was still stuck in the Man Cave. A sore spot that tugged on (y/n)'s heartstrings.
"Oh, baby boy, we go down the tube now..." She said softly, stroking the boy's arm as he stared blankly at his surroundings. She practically whimpered at her doofus, wondering if it had been that long since they lost their own home since this was normal now - them in the Man's Nest.
"...Down the tube!"
With that, they were off, hurtling toward the garage and whatever new vehicle Ray wanted to show off. Everything was the same but different, which didn't help Henry's nerves as he stepped out from under the protective shield into the big, bad world.
If the couple knew what danger he was in, would they have let him out? Probably not. This kid couldn't handle danger for all the big talk he used to make. Sometimes, he wished he could return to when things were simpler--when he chased diaper-wearing villains and the criminally stupid.
But it was a little late for that. By the time they reached the convenience store, it was too late for anything.
~The How Convenient Store~
"This place is disgusting..."
(y/n) wrinkled her nose as she followed her doofus and Henry along a dark, dirty street at the foot of Mount Swellview.
She didn't like how all the streetlights seemed blinky, how many trash bags piled up on the curb, or how she swore she heard rats squeaking in the shadows. The smell made her want to retch, sticking close to Ray's side as he confidently strutted to the lonely store covered in a thick layer of grime and graffiti.
"Oh, come on, sweet girl! It's gonna be fun!" The hero replied cheerfully, practically skipping along the road since he was riding a massive nostalgia wave.
He had his beautiful wife on his arm, and beside her, Henry traipsed with them. It didn't matter how skittish he seemed - the kid was there, which was enough to make his old boss giddy as a schoolboy.
"You mean, we're going to need a tetanus shot after this?" (y/n) said sarcastically, glancing at the reticent boy when he didn't snort at her joke. It was strange; he didn't even fake vomit when they kissed and cuddled in the Man Van, and that made her suspicious--more so than she already was. "Right, kid?"
"Huh?--Oh, yeah, ha...ha." The kid's voice was flat and distracted, probably because he constantly glanced over his shoulder, too busy frantically scanning their surroundings through those thick glasses to laugh at anything they said.
And the strangest thing had to be how he nearly ducked under the heroine's arm when he heard a shout off in the distance, clinging to her uniform's skirt like a terrified child, not a hardened crime fighter.
"Man, this is like the good old days! Come on! Come on!" Still, Ray hurried them off, quickly crossing the road with his usual arrogance, squeezing his wife's hand as they burst into How Convenient to see a familiar face.
"Can you pay attention to me, please?"
"You're always in the middle of a game!" The young woman, named Shasta, behind the counter, whined to whoever she was talking to on the phone - her girlfriend or boyfriend at home, (y/n) assumed.
She didn't give a damn about the fact that her store was being robbed, more concerned about her troublesome relationship than the criminal begging for some attention. It was challenging to rob a place when the staff refused to hand over the goods. Still, even so, Ray grinned when he recognised the scumbag - for the first time in nearly a decade of dealing with him.
"Part of the reason I rob people is for the connection, and I feel like you're not here with me right now!" The scruffy, greasy, moronic thug whined as he squeezed his weapon of choice - a skunk for some reason, but then again, he always thought he was clever.
"Oh, God, not him..."
"Hey, look! It's your old pal, Jeff!" Ray nudged Henry as they huddled near the door. (y/n) couldn't say she was thrilled to see that the idiot had returned after the jailbreak, but for once, her doofus wanted to chase his flabby ass. Anything to relive the glory days with the kid.
"Yeah, yeah, cool. Let's just hurry this up," Henry replied, feeling as jumpy as ever now that they were out in the open, wearing his Dystopian costume - for anyone to see.
"Aw, man. I'm so excited!"
"You're adorable, doofus..." the woman giggled when her husband squeezed her body against his in a spur-of-the-moment hug. Yet, she gave Henry a knowing, side-eyed glance whilst the hero couldn't see.
"Well, I don't even know what we are! What does vibing even mean?" The shop assistant ranted to her friend on the phone, making the heroes feel slightly awkward after hearing something they shouldn't.
"Do we vibe, sweet girl?" Ray asked his sweet girl quietly as Jeff chased after the woman, who disappeared into the break room with the PearPhone glued to her ear. The silly hero looked so confused, not knowing if it was good or bad or if he'd missed that lesson on youth slang.
"Oh, yeah, we vibe so hard, doof," (y/n) replied with an enamoured smile despite not entirely understanding what it meant. "But we vibe so much better than that girl and her...companion."
"Where are you going? I'm not done crime-ing!" Jeff whined after Shasta, only for Captain Man to clear his throat to catch the moron's attention. The incompetent villain practically jumped out of his skin when he saw the hero, Miss Danger, and that scrawny, emo-y kid standing there, wondering when they got there.
"Robbing a store with a skunk?" (y/n) asked with an unimpressed, quirked eyebrow. She folded her arms as Ray turned to her with a silly grin.
"That plan stinks!" He was so happy with the little pun that he patted the boy's chest to join in the fun after he earned an amused smile from his wife. Now you go—you go—you go!"
"Uh..." Henry stuttered, not knowing what to say since he was riddled with nerves, desperately wanting to go home. "What the smell are you doing? Now, come on--you're going to jail..."
With a stony, tight-lipped face, he marched over to the criminal with a hefty sigh. He grabbed him by the elbow and, with no messing around, yanked him toward the exit without any of the usual flare or dramatics. It was baffling to the couple, who frowned and quickly dragged him back to their sides for being so goddamn dull.
"Hey, hey, man! Take your time!"
"What are you talking about?" Their old sidekick asked tiredly, wondering what childish, ridiculous drivel his ex-boss was yammering about when he just wanted everything over and done with. It wasn't like him, and all Henry could do was avoid the simmering anger and disappointment in (y/n)'s eyes.
"Let's slow-fight this crime..." The hero answered softly, hoping to drag out every sweet second of his nostalgia trip to make up for how they parted ways.
"I just wanna get back to my Nacho Ball!"
"Not gonna lie, we left it with BrainStorm. That Nacho Ball will be long gone..." (y/n) replied, seeing straight through the kid's lie, but it was still true. To the boy's disappointment, Bose always stole anyone's takeout if they unwisely left it unguarded. He wouldn't be able to use that excuse now.
"Hey, is this your news sidekick?" Jeff interrupted, staring at Henry with an untypically curious expression as he tried to size him up. Luckily, he couldn't see through his minimal disguise, not seeing Kid Danger at all, but still, they didn't like how he giggled.
"Maybe..."
"No!" The kid quickly shut down Ray's high hopes, dimming that pearly grin, but that didn't stop her merciless big sister poking his rubs with her elbow - a mischievous glint in her eye.
"I'd say we're vibing right now," (y/n) joked, giggling with her husband as he wound his arms around her waist and plonked his chin on the top of her head.
"You guys don't even know what that means!"
"Sure I do," she retorted when the boy gave her that dry, exasperated look, but how could she be truly cranky when she was in her soulmate's arms?
Resting her weight against Ray, she flashed him a cunning smile, her eyes sparkling, when the besotted hero pecked her temple—much to Jeff's disgust. He'd always thought she was a pretty girl, but why did she have to choose him?
"It means we're, like, together, but not really."
"But we vibe extra hard 'cause we're actually together, right, precious girl?" Ray asked softly, lowering his mouth next to her ear. He squeezed her gently, hoping he hadn't misinterpreted something because he didn't want any of that situationship shit; she was his, and he was hers.
"Oh, definitely, Captain. I love you..."
"Aw, sweet girl. I love you, too!"
"I can't even talk to you guys..." Henry rolled his eyes as they cooed and fawned over each other, swearing they were doing it just to wind him up. Either way, it pissed Jeff off, given that it was infuriating to see his favourite pin-up, Miss Danger, in the arms of his mortal enemy, Captain Man.
As the kid rolled his eyes and grimaced, the crook pointed the skunk at them - an odd choice of weapon that had to be a first for the hero in all his crime-fighting years. Glaring at the happy couple and all their lovey-dovey romance, he lifted the creature's tail and pointed it at the trio; such was his genius.
"Well, spray hello to my little friend!" Cried Jeff, and a jet of stinky skunk spray blasted at the heroes.
Ray instantly pulled his sweet girl away and out of harm, hating to think that the foul stench would overcome her sweet perfume. Meanwhile, Henry, despite being semi-abandoned, could handle himself, instantly raising his green, glowing force field around himself. The stink ricocheted back to the criminal, hitting the back of his throat so he tasted it.
"Ahhhhh! It burns!" He screamed, seeing nothing but tears as he turned and fled to escape the foul smell.
"Classic Jeff!" Ray exclaimed with a hearty laugh, untangling himself from his beloved wife once he'd run off. They had no need to annoy him now, and the best part of the night would be the chase, nudging Henry and congratulating him on a job well done.
"Yeah, all right. We stopped the robbery, so let's get back to the Man's Nest!" But once again, the kid showed no interest in reliving their former fun, smiling weakly as he made for the door.
"Hey, kid, hang on!" (y/n) called out, getting a funny feeling in her tummy again as her hand zipped out and caught him by the arm. If only he had told her what was so obviously terrifying him, maybe she could have helped... "We've got to go chase after Jeff! You know, put him in jail!"
"No, no, no, no. Let's get back to the Man's Nest," Henry insisted, slowly edging toward the door, even as they ached to run after their enemy, who was quickly gaining ground.
"Come on, it'll be fun! Like old times! Punchin', quippin', takin' selfies!" Ray added, jabbing and kicking out at thin air to try and inspire a little action in the boy, but he didn't succeed, either.
"I don't want to take selfies!"
He glanced at his wife, looking to her for advice, but she was equally frustrated and slowly losing patience with the boy when he took her wrist and tried to yank her back to the Man Van.
"Ooh, you know what we can do? We can steal some of these bubblegum burner phones and blame it on Jeff!"
"That's just stealing, doofus, and not the point right now!" (y/n) told her husband firmly when he got a little silly and desperate, but her main focus was the stubborn kid still gripping her arm.
She looked at him with a hand on her hip, trying to work out what was up with him as her tummy tingle worsened, but it was difficult when he anxiously hopped from foot to foot.
"It's kind of a grey area, darlin'. Who's gonna know?" Ray replied jokingly, not sensing the tension in the store until his wife gave him the look. A stern, cold glance that had him buttoning his lip and looking at his shoes because he wanted to live. Henry, however, might not see another day as he avoided her firm gaze.
"I will, you big doofus, but come on!" The heroine answered curtly before yanking her hand from Henry, giving him a tired yet serious stare. "Look, kid, will you just tell us what's wrong?"
"What do you mean?" Henry asked quietly, trying to act all innocent and cute, hoping it would get her to leave him alone.
He was little Henry Hart, the boy she had known since he was thirteen. He tried to channel that when his big, wide eyes met hers, only to be met with a harsh scoff and incredulous expression.
"Oh, cut the crap. We both know you've been lying for the last few days!"
"I have not!" he argued fervently, trying to tap Ray's bicep to get him on his side.
Still, if there was one thing he'd missed during his time in Dystopia, Ray Manchester did not argue with his wife. Hardly ever, and certainly not on stuff like this. She was the boss, and he didn't mess with her—mainly because she was smoking hot when she was girlbossing it.
"You're lying right now!" The woman snapped, clutching her tummy when the tingle became painful, tugging her toward the back door like something wanted her to flee, but she wasn't done arguing yet.
"Sweet cheese, Henry, what are you so afraid of?"
The kid never got a chance to reply, and she didn't know when to run, not when shit hit the fan.
A flash of blinding light filled the store, and an explosion threw the trio off their feet. They barely had time to react when the cool, nighttime air hit their faces, telling (y/n)'s dazed brain that the door had burst open, but most importantly, they were under attack.
It couldn't be Jeff; that idiot was long gone and couldn't find his ass in the dark with both hands, so Captain Man wasn't worried about him, just the unknown. He did not know what he was up against with his vision so blurry, but his instincts told him to move--fight--kick--punch--do something to get to his sweet girl. And Henry, of course.
As their backs hit a cold, hard surface where racks of chips and candy used to hang, the hero tried to move his bulky arms, reaching for the pretty girl beside him, but it was futile.
"What the..." (y/n) muttered in a daze, but not enough to miss the bizarre contraption fixing her wrists and lower body to the wall. They were like futuristic handcuffs, glowing with powerful, blue energy that snaked around their tummies before locking their hands by their sides.
"Miss Danger!" Her doofus exclaimed, panicking slightly when he tugged on the weird restraints with his super-strength, but they didn't break. He couldn't get to her. They were side by side, yet so far and completely powerless, and that made them afraid.
Yet, the feeling of not being able to reach each other was nothing compared to the terror that ran down their spines when a sinister-looking remote-control drone flew toward them, honing in on Henry as the boy slumped against the wall, petrified and panting.
It scanned Captain Man and did nothing. It scanned Miss Danger and did nothing. They weren't its target, but Henry? It analysed his face and beeped, talking in a monotone, robotic voice that put the fear of God in the kid.
"Henry Hart located...Sending bounty hunter."
"What the actual fuck?" (y/n) spat, heart pounding and staring wide-eyed at the drone before she and Ray snapped their heads right in their friend's direction.
"I can explain..." he said slowly, not daring to look them in the eye because he knew he was screwed. It was just a matter of time before they all met horrific, excruciating ends, and it was all his fault. They were gonna die, and that was on him, but he couldn't tell them that...
"Can you?!" His beloved (y/n/n) gasped, frantically glancing between him and the drone as Ray tried to wrench free, but it was useless. "Oh, Henry, what have you done?"
"I'm sorry...I didn't mean for this to happen," the boy whimpered, squeezing his eyes shut, praying it was some sick, twisted nightmare. But no, the drone was still there, and his closest friends...well, they looked ready to throw hands.
"For what to happen? What's going on?!" Ray gasped, tugging with all his might to bust out. He wasn't the brightest, refusing to give up, but he didn't need to be a genius to realise how much shit they were in - how he couldn't reach his sweet girl to keep her safe, even if he tried.
"We need to get out of here!"
"Yes, thank you for that capital idea, Sherlock," (y/n) retorted dryly, feeling her wrists chafe as she wiggled them. "Don't suppose you have a freaky techno-key for these freakier cuffs, do you?"
"Just--just call Danger Force and tell them to get here ASAP!" Henry told her shakily, whipping his head at every entrance like he was waiting for someone to arrive, and by the looks of it, he was petrified.
She scoffed at that. She was seriously not in the mood to take orders from him. Also, what made him think they'd want to help? Those poor kids were exhausted, and this was his mess - if only he'd tell them...
"They won't come. It's their time off, Hen," she replied, but that only made the kid's eyes widen more than she thought humanly possible.
"They have to!"
"Why? Are we gonna die?" Captain Man asked causally, a light, airy, joking edge to his voice as he tried a smile - anything to lighten the situation. But, his stomach dropped when Henry glanced away awkwardly and pulled a nervous face. Did he even want to know?
"Um...no?" He tried, but it was a pretty poor attempt to say he had all those lessons on lying all those years ago in the Man Cave.
"One more lie from you, Henry Prudence Hart, and I swear to God--" (y/n) snapped, seeing straight through his anxious disposition, mainly because she was the queen of nerves. The Nervous Queen.
She invented lying through one's teeth, and her raised eyebrow and penetrating glare made Henry feel worse. He hoped the tears in the corners of his eyes helped his case, although judging by how she shook her head, it didn't.
"Call them!" He begged, using his best puppy dog eyes and shrillest voice before looking at his old boss. They winced at his volume, thinking he'd gone so high-pitched and whiny that only dogs could hear him. "Please!"
"All right, all right. Jeez..." Ray muttered, wishing to put his hands over his wife's precious little ears. He hated how she leaned away from the kid, who had really become a wimp in his time away from them. "No need to yell at my sweet girl."
Shaking his head, the hero gave his ex-sidekick a stern look—as if he hadn't had enough of those. Still, Henry couldn't complain when Ray fumbled for his PearPhone. Thanks to the freaky restraints, he was the only person with room to manoeuvre.
It took some work, but he managed it, slipping the cell out from his utility belt before calling Danger Force. They'd undoubtedly be in a foul mood when they saw it was him, but to save his sweet girl? He'd do anything.
"WHAT DO YOU WANT?!"
It was safe to say that Chapa wasn't happy. Her piercing tone shattered their eardrums despite coming through the phone's speaker, and Miles didn't shy away, either.
"You're interrupting screen time!" he bellowed, which was weird for the kid, who was usually so chill.
"Oh, my bad, D-Force!" Ray said in his usual lighthearted tone, smirking at his sweet girl and the perturbed kid, "Just, uh, that me, my incredibly hot wife, are in a little jammy jam, but don't worry about it! We'll find another way outta this!"
"No, no, no, no! We need them to help us get out of here ASA-NOW!" Henry argued, sounding even more panicked and jittery than before, earning puzzled looks from the couple. "Please, come help us!"
"Sorry! Captain Man said you guys would handle this call," replied Chapa, who had no plans to leave her snuggly blanket or the sacred sanctuary of Mika's bedroom.
"She's right, kid. This doofus did promise we'd take this call," (y/n) added, frowning when the boy ignored her soothing voice and tugged frantically on his cuffs.
"We gotta honour it. Even if it kills you," Ray joked, although he would never let a thing hurt his beloved wife, flashing her a blindingly charming smile.
"Please, come help us!" the kid pleaded again, feeling like throwing up as he got desperate. He bribed Danger Force with anything he could think of. He was shameless, promising them anything their little hearts desired as the drone's red eye focused solely on him.
"What--what do you want? Captain Man and Miss Danger will give it to you!"
"What?" The couple murmured, glancing at each other with deeper frowns as the boy shouted into the speaker, giving away privileges he didn't have.
"You want to fly the Man Copter? You want a bunch of puppies?! We'll give it to you!" He offered, neither of which sounded pleasant to Ray.
The hero could see it now; his beloved helicopter spiralling to the ground or a bunch of mammals doing their doo-doos all over his Man's Nest, and the latter seemed worse. Of course, he had the best luck, and the children chose puppies - because who doesn't like puppies?
Hell, (y/n) knew which one she would pick, already imagining a little friend for Colin. She could already picture them setting bolt right up, eyes sparkling at the thought of cuddling with adorable doggies - a lovely image only ruined by Henry's snivelling.
"Just, please, come! Please, come help us!"
"PUPPIES!" The kids cried in pure joy. Despite their morals and grand ideas about screen time, they'd do anything for puppies.
"We're on our way!" With that, they ended the call, leaving the trio alone to await rescue.
Henry's tummy was undoubtedly less choppy and churning, but his expression didn't change. He was pale and pasty as his knees shook, his back pressed to the wall in pure terror. He looked like a wimp, and giving away the Man Copter like a pound of tea? That was downright disgraceful.
"Jeez, kid. What's got your brisket in a basket?" Ray asked frostily, glancing at his old friend as he squeezed his eyes shut and whimpered.
The boy glanced at the man and then at (y/n), whose piercing gaze never left him; she was clearly waiting for an answer, and if anything, Henry was more scared of upsetting her than the monster coming for them.
But, no matter how deep he was already in, he couldn't lie to her anymore, not when she searched his face and gazed at him with those kind eyes. And when she spoke? He crumbled.
"Henry? What's wrong?"
"Okay, I gotta level with you guys," he gulped, nervously buzzing in place as Ray casually glanced around the store, ignorant of the situation's severity like usual.
"Dystopia is really scary, and I kinda messed with some things that are so evil that I can't even explain, including this bounty hunter named Blackout that literally eats people's souls."
"Bounty...hunter?" (y/n) echoed as she felt the blood drain from her face and her heart stop. Now, she partially understood his terror, having thought hunters were legends relegated to old cowboy movies and sci-fi series. What the hell had the boy gotten himself into?
"...And he's hungry for mine, so I came to Swellview because I thought I'd be safe in the Man's Nest, but he clearly found me, and he's gonna eat our souls!"
"...So, you didn't come to Swellview to see us?" Was the first thing Ray asked, his eyebrows pulled upwards to make him look all wounded and pouty.
Perhaps he missed the mark a little, but he'd never let this asshole suck out his sweet girl's soul - she was too precious for that. So, he wasn't overly worried, but he was undoubtedly hurt that his ex-sidekick ran away from his problems under the cover of a friendly visit.
"Not really the time or place, doofus," (y/n) told him quietly, still remarkably holding her nerve as she processed everything.
It was a lot to take in; death, danger, bounty hunters, and soul-sucking, but she silently agreed - it was a kick in the teeth to be an excuse. However, she'd prefer not to be in mortal danger when they were scolding the kid.
"That's what I'm hearing, sweet girl," answered Ray, giving her a look akin to a kicked puppy, even as Henry tried to smooth everything over.
"No, no, no, I did! I did!" He argued, trying to make the man-child feel better. "But I also don't want my soul to get eaten! And I needed to do some laundry...and I wanted (y/n)'s cookies..."
"Oh, well, it's nice to be wanted..." the woman retorted dryly, rolling her eyes at being reduced to a bakery and laundromat. Henry gave her a sheepish look, smiling awkwardly as he stared at his feet.
"Are you mad?" He asked quietly, knowing he'd kept a lot from her, not to mention lying to her face and demanding cookies by the dozen.
"Oh, I'm not mad, Henry..." (y/n) replied, resting her head against the wall while Ray tapped his foot against hers—he'd get what he could when they couldn't hold hands. She looked tired as her head lolled to look at the kid, firmly believing they could have worked something out to avoid this mess.
"I'm just disappointed."
Henry winced at that. He'd heard it a million times from his parents, but coming from his surrogate sister, (y/n) Manchester? It was like death by a thousand cuts to his quivering heart. He could take her being angry as a punishment, but knowing he'd gone down in her eyes? He felt like crying.
"Ooh, ouch..." Ray muttered, having been there and heard that. He felt for the kid, although perhaps not as seriously as he should've done.
"I'm sorry..." Henry whispered, not daring to look at her as his gut ached, feeling all low and nervous like he was gonna throw up. He'd never betrayed their trust like this before, and knowing what he did, he knew Ray would never forgive him for putting his wife in harm's way.
"Don't apologise now, Hen..." said the woman lowly, knowing she'd cry if he cried, and she was trying to be firm. "It's too late."
"I know... I messed up."
"Yeah, you did." She nodded, an exasperated smile as she shook her head.
Part of her wanted him to feel bad; if it weren't for him, she wouldn't have a peg digging into her spine, but he was as human as her--and she would've been a nervous wreck if she knew he was being hunted. And who hadn't told a lie before to spare someone's worry?
So, she showed a little leniency. Perhaps she was tender-hearted, but she saw no benefit in chewing him out now, not when Ray had already given him a tough time for not visiting. That could wait for when they weren't about to be murdered.
"But we've got Danger Force coming to get these things off, and when they do, I'm going slap your silly head for telling lies, young man."
"So, you don't hate me?" the kid asked as he raised his head, giving her the same wobbly smile as when they first met—full of nerves and hope like a little kid.
"I don't think we could ever hate you, Henry Hart--" Just as (y/n) gave him her warmest smile, everything went black.
The lights fizzled out like there'd been a power cut, and that's when any temporarily good feelings in Henry's tummy vanished. A childish squeak passed through his lips, glancing around their dim surroundings with wide eyes to catch any movement.
"What?" Ray asked with a slight chuckle, thinking his old sidekick looked ridiculous as he cowered like a frightened little lamb - not the almighty hero he was.
"It's Blackout, dude!" Henry gasped, suddenly wishing he could run to his mommy as the couple calmly stood beside him. But that was only because ignorance was bliss.
"Yeah, it looks like someone forgot to pay the power bill. Right, darlin'?" The hero joked, nudging his wife's elbow as she smiled and curiously looked around.
"No, no, no. It always goes dark before Blackout shows up!" The boy explained frantically, looking a bit manic as he tugged on his restraints.
"Oh, this guy can turn off lights? Oh, I'm so scared!" Ray exclaimed sarcastically - as arrogant and cocksure as usual.
"Why are you laughing?!"
"What else can he do? Unplug your amp while you're playing guitar?" He scoffed with a bright smile, which only dimmed when his dense brain suddenly realised something, making (y/n) glance away awkwardly.
"And as I say that, I realise Schwoz might have done that on purpose, that little piece of sh--"
Ray would have to take up that fight with the genius later and grill him on killing the groove. First, he would have to deal with their interrupting guest, who made his presence very well known when he kicked the door open and stomped into the store.
A heavy breath left Henry's body as his nemesis stood before him, draped in all-black robes and an imposing steel mask. He looked like Death himself, and the kid would honestly say he was petrified.
Even (y/n) gulped, not liking how this Blackout guy stood at least head and shoulders taller than her with huge hands that could snap her in two. Still, she tried to be brave, glaring at the villain as Ray confidently snorted at him, thinking he looked like a bug in that stupid helmet.
"I should never have come here," Henry murmured, a foreboding sense telling him that the fiend would leave no witnesses behind, "I'm sorry for putting you guys in danger."
"Relax, if this guy puts one finger on my sweet girl, I'll kick his ass into next week," Ray replied, puffing his chest out at the bounty hunter as he flashed a cocky grin at his precious wife.
He didn't look like much, standing there like a lemon--and his muscles weren't as big as his, and he wasn't handsome with that mask. "And this loser doesn't even have a weapon."
As usual, he spoke too soon on that one. With the press of a button on a small doohickey, Blackout summoned one of the bloodiest, craziest, and biggest weapons (y/n) had ever seen.
It was like an axe from hell, spawning blades and spikes on either end of a long, steel pole, meaning he had double the opportunity to chop heads and limbs off. And she didn't doubt that he'd use it without a spare thought.
"Okay, I'm taking that home after we're done with this guy!" Ray gasped, thinking it looked as sick as it was sinister.
"We're gonna die, dude!" But Henry just shook his head, sniffing weakly as he presumed the worst.
Unlike Ray, who imagined nothing but a sweet victory. Then, he'd move on to adoration and glory, followed by a peaceful retirement with his beloved wife and the family they would undoubtedly have. He definitely had no plans to give that up for something as stupid as dying.
"Wait, wait, wait. I'm trying to think of an opening quip..."
"Is now really the time, Captain?" Miss Danger asked quietly, eyeing Blackout, who didn't seem as idle as before now that he had his big stick axe thing.
"Sure, pretty girl. Okay, how about..." he said calmly, channelling his inner wit and doofy humour, "Knock-knock--"
"Doofus, look out!" Her warning came too late, and even if he noticed the bounty hunter owing, there wasn't much Ray could've done.
Blackout charged at him without a second thought, twirling and slamming the butt of his lethal axe into the hero's toned stomach to the sound of (y/n)'s shriek. The impact was so powerful that her doofus blasted through the wall, leaving a colossal hole beside her as Henry gulped, his mouth propped open.
"Typically, you'd say, who's there?" The hero's weak voice came, strained and squeaky, from the back room where he lay. He'd be okay, of course, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt like a bitch.
"Holy shit..." (y/n) gulped as the hunter ignored his victim's cries. Instead, he expertly twirled his weapon and glanced between her and the kid, seemingly picking between his prey.
"Look..." Henry said pleadingly, despite knowing it was futile, "I'm the one you want, okay? Eat my soul, do you whatever you want to my body--just don't hurt my friends!"
"Hell, no, if Nightlight or whatever his name is wants a fight, he can have one!" The heroine argued, glowering at the villain, who she thought was such a coward.
He didn't give his enemies a fighting chance, and she tugged at her cuffs to at least try and get a swipe at him before her doom. Yet, she didn't have the opportunity because, out of nowhere, a herd of children fell from the sky.
It sounded ridiculous, but that's actually what happened. Before her and Henry's eyes, four bodies tackled Blackout from above, leaving him in a groaning heap. They blinked in surprise as Miles, Mika, Chapa, and Bose lay on the ground, wearing their uniforms, slightly winded but otherwise okay.
"You guys!" (y/n) grinned, having never been so happy to see them, even if they were slightly grumpy from the rough landing.
"Too high!" Miles groaned, having misjudged his teleportation, not that it mattered too much.
"How did you miss the floor, AWOL?" Chapa hissed as she glared and clutched her bruised ribs.
"At least we're here! We could have been in another country! Ungrateful!" The boy argued indignantly, thinking some people were unbelievably rude.
Regardless, they marched over to their fellow sidekicks and quickly freed them, ripping away the freaky handcuffs.
"Oh, my sweet baby boy, Bose!" (y/n) grinned at the boy as he gently freed her. She rubbed at her chafed wrists and hugged him before greeting her other babies, knowing she'd end up baking some thank-you cookies once they made it home.
"Hey, why are the lights out?" Asked Chapa when she didn't see the warm, snuggly hug coming, which she would never admit to enjoying. The darkness hid her rosy cheeks, but they couldn't fight blindly.
"It's Blackout! He's a bounty hunter from Dystopia--" Henry answered as they worked at uncuffing him, too, only the girl quickly turned her back on him.
"I've already stopped listening," she murmured, too busy searching for the convenience store's fuse box so she could jump the lights.
Meanwhile, Ray emerged from the back room, still bolted to the wall he'd been thrown through. He waddled into the front with a massive chunk of plasterboard on his back, looking a little stunned but otherwise okay.
"Doofus!" (y/n) exclaimed happily when she saw him standing there, his stature slightly shortened by the wall's weight. Still, he was a sight for sore eyes when the light returned, and she didn't hesitate to throw her arms around his neck.
"Are you okay?"
"Always when I'm with you, darlin'," Ray replied charmingly, wishing he could hold her in his arms and kiss those pretty lips. But he'd have to wait for when he was free, sort of a sitting duck with his wrists restrained as Blackout got back on his feet.
"Captain Man...what are you doing? Be careful!" The heroine gasped when Ray boldly toddled past her, having to walk on his tiptoes since the plasterboard threatened his balance.
Still, he wasn't about to have some emo bounty hunter dictate stuff to him or endanger his wife, so he tapped him on the shoulder. Blackout turned around, mildly impressed to see the blue and red moron still alive and glaring at him, but Ray never went down without a fight.
"Wasn't done with my quip. I said, knock, knock--" That being said, he was still an idiot.
(y/n) winced when he took another blow to the gut from that spiky axe, stumbling backwards across the room until he fell onto his ass.
"Stay away from him..." She told the villain coldly as she put herself between him and her vulnerable husband, clearly intending to fight. It was a little reckless, but she didn't care, drawing a quiet chuckle from the otherwise silent hunter.
"Sweet girl, don't!" Ray called out to her, happy to say that if he were cut down now, the last thing he'd see was her perfect butt in that skirt, but he didn't want to see her hurt.
In his mind, he wasn't worth it. He shouted at the kids to help her as Henry shook off his bonds, but the latter didn't jump into action.
"Thanks, I owe you one," the kid said to Bose and Mika with a fleeting grin before running for the door. He really was a wimp...
"What?! Dude!"
"Henry!"
"Where are you going?!" Danger Force and (y/n) shouted after him, shocked to see the formerly fearless sidekick flee.
Luckily, Chapa, having zapped the fuse box, was stationed near the door and blocked his exit, meaning he could not escape his problems this time.
"The scary guy's that way, and he's about to peel Miss Danger like a satsuma," Mika told him, pointing at where (y/n) stood with Blackout. She looked a tad overwhelmed.
Maybe it was the fact she foresaw one punch and dodged it, only to receive a sneaky uppercut, or perhaps it was how he then grabbed her by the throat and lifted the woman off her feet that gave it away. Who knows?
"Looks like she's takin' care of him..." Henry gulped, knowing he was lying to himself again when his friend was mercilessly tossed to the side like a ragdoll.
That gave the villain access to Captain Man, who quickly had to endure an excruciating beating from the axe as Blackout tried to chop him in half. Still, to look at him, Ray looked like he was merely being tickled, taking the swings and making jokes like a champ, albeit through gritted teeth.
"After I say knock-knock, you say, who's there? And I say, my fist! And then, before you can say, my fist who, that's when I say, ah!"
"Captain Man!" (y/n) exclaimed, staring through woozy eyes as Blackout tried to cleave her husband's chest again, drawing a pained grunt from him. She tried to get to her feet, a little wobbly after her little scuffle, but she was more worried about him.
"All right, I'll see you guys later. Tell Schwoz he can keep my dirty laundry..." Henry said, giving them a little wave before tiptoeing toward the door - as if he'd ever make a clean getaway.
He made it about five steps, with Danger Force running after him, before (y/n) spotted him, and her visage darkened. The kid could practically pinpoint the moment her glare pierced him, but her booming voice put the fear of God in him.
"Henry Prudence Hart! Stay right where you are!" The heroine shouted, and as she commanded, he froze. Henry shakily turned around, flanked by Danger Force's members as they shoved him away from the door and toward their boss. Their real boss - Ray could never be this scary.
She didn't have to say anything, merely crooking her finger towards herself to beckon him over. Henry's feet moved independently, slapping on the tiled floor with encouragement from Chapa's elbow. He stood before his friend, who stared at him menacingly with her hands on her hips, not knowing where to start.
"Just where do you think you're going?" she asked sternly, feeling like she'd called a child up for a telling-off in front of the entire school.
"Home..." Henry replied, barely audible as he mumbled his words.
"Louder."
"Home," he repeated, clearing his throat so she could hear him. This time, she sighed through her teeth, shaking her head. The disappointment was bitterly wounding.
"Right..." (y/n) nodded in understanding, and for a quick minute, she seemed remarkably calm. But only for a few seconds.
In the blink of an eye, she had her hand in the air before bringing it down on the nape of the kid's neck, slapping him on the back of his head as she'd promised. Each hissed word was punctuated with a slap, making him grimace as the sharp smacks rained down.
"You're. Such. An. Idiot. Henry!"
"Ow!"
"You better say ow! How could you leave us to fight this guy alone?!" The heroine said sharply, blowing on her fingers to cool them off, and she had no sympathy for his little whines.
"I don't know! I--" he tripped over his words, nervous from having so many little eyes on him. He didn't need the children's judgment. They had zero idea what it was like, so he stared at his hands, the floor, and even Ray as he received another pummelling.
"You what?! Huh? What, Henry?" But that merely made (y/n) angrier, and she glared at the boy as he failed to provide a coherent answer.
"What could be so important that you leave me, Captain Man, and Danger Force here to die? Huh?! 'Cause you said, this guy wouldn't blink twice at murdering us!"
"Dude..." Chapa muttered dryly, giving the older kid a judgy stare as he shook. She despised cowards, especially the ones who knowingly allowed kids to do his dirty work. Still, Henry just ignored her, wrapping his arms around himself like a comforting blanket.
"I can't, (y/n/n)! I just can't!"
"Why?" The woman demanded to know and stepped close to him until Henry couldn't take it anymore. His hands flew to his hair, tugging it in exasperation as his teary, bloodshot gaze met hers.
"I'm scared! Okay?! I'm scared to fight Blackout!" He cried, and they all froze. It was an unexpected outburst, and not a word (y/n) often associated with the kid, seeing him as courageous and daring, but he was just a kid.
Sometimes, it was easy to forget that - he was so young.
"He's really tough and evil and...I'm just...scared."
"Henry..." (y/n) sighed, placing her hands on his shoulders so he had no choice but to look her in the eye.
She was mildly surprised when she saw the little boy he used to be staring back at despite being so much taller now; he was still thirteen-year-old Henry Hart, and she knew him. And he knew her. "What's my number one rule?"
"Ooh, ooh! No capes!" Bose piped up, his hand in the air, as if they were back in the classroom.
"Good, but no..." She smiled at his antics, liking his enthusiasm, but shook her head. She kindly looked at the tall boy, putting her hands on his smooth, boyish cheeks and squishing them together.
"Even superheroes are allowed to be scared."
"Wow...you're really bringing that one back?" A grin broke out on his face as the simple utterance shot him back in time five years prior.
He remembered every wobble he and Ray ever had and how she was always the one to soothe their worries with the right words.
"It's true," she replied, pulling him into a tight hug and whispering... "It's normal to be afraid, but we don't just run away from the problem! So, stay here and help us fight this guy!"
"Yeah! Captain Man says you're the best superhero he's ever seen," Miles interjected, giving his predecessor a reassuring smile and bump on the arm. He was trying to be encouraging, but Henry was ever the pessimist.
"That does not sound like him," he answered, knowing Ray and his constant ridicule.
"He also says you have a surprisingly good singing voice," Bose added, making the kid smile coyly. He looked a little sheepish, his ears tinged pink, but if there was one thing his ex-boss loved, it was a sing-song, and Henry had been there for a few.
"I guess I'm all right..." he crooned, just as Blackout took another hit at Ray, slamming the electrified axe into his chest. (y/n) was anxious to go and help, turning to the boy with pleading eyes.
"Captain Man says that we're garbage, and the four of us will never measure up to one of you."
"I disagree with that, but whatever..." the heroine muttered to herself when Chapa grumbled, staring jealously at Henry because they would never be him. They would never replace Kid Danger or what he meant to the superheroes, but they didn't want to. They just wanted to make it on their own.
"I'm sure you guys are pretty tough...." replied Henry, thinking they had to have some talent - Ray wouldn't tolerate utter losers. And they had superpowers, right?
"Well, why don't you stay here, and we can show you?" Mika said, challenging the boy with a flash of her determined gaze, backed up by her twin. Even Henry couldn't help but feel fired up, knowing their support was behind him.
"Yeah, let's take this guy down together." Everyone fell silent for a minute, half-smiling at the nice sentiment and half-cringing at how sappy it was. Chapa had to stop herself from puking, (y/n) gritted her teeth, and the others winced.
"Was that cheesy? That felt really cheesy..."
"Eh...maybe a bit. Lil' bit of cheese," the woman told him kindly, trying to spare his feelings whilst Chapa didn't hold back. She shivered at the grossness of friends helping friends for the greater good and all that crap.
But the small jokes and quiet laughs soon died down when the all-too-familiar bang of Blackout's axe coming down cut through the air.
Everyone glanced back at Ray, who had sweat clinging to his temple as he endured another savage whack, and even the bounty hunter grew tired of the never-ending attack.
"Why won't you die?" He growled, hunched over to catch his breath. Obviously, the hero hadn't let slip his indestructibility.
"You ready?" (y/n) murmured to Henry, knowing she'd go for round two with that guy, whether he wanted to fight or not.
But when he turned to her, the kid had a fiery glint in his eye and a cocksure grin that she knew too well. He nodded at her firmly and rolled his shoulders, loosening everything up to take on his greatest enemy - which he should've done in the first place rather than leaving Charlotte and Jasper in danger.
"Let's ride on this fool..." Henry told her and the children, who all readied themselves for a fight.
They lined up, fists clenched and feet firmly planted on the floor; the kid and (y/n) stood hip-to-hip with two kids on either side of them, hoping their powers would actually work for once.
Immediately, AWOL thrust his fist into the air, disappearing in a flash of warm light before reappearing beside the winded villain. Before Blackout could even look up, he kicked out at his weapon, knocking it from his hand across the floor.
He backed off once he wasn't dangerous, and Volt went in, rolling across the floor as Henry and (y/n) dashed forward. The kid punched him first, and Chapa sneakily blasted him in the face with a bolt of lightning, stunning him long enough for the heroine to land a blow on his face.
"That's for hurting my husband!" (y/n) growled, hoping her rough slug stung like a bitch since he tried to slice her doofus. They went back and forth like that, punching and zapping him until ShoutOut yelled at them...
"All of you, move!" She ordered, giving the three enough time to hit the floor before she super-screamed.
The violent sound waves knocked the villain to the ground with a grunt. BrainStorm finished him off, using his telekinesis to lift him into the air and drag him across the room into Henry's force field. It was like hitting a brick wall, leaving the bounty hunter firmly incapacitated.
High-fives, giggles, and fist-bumps passed around the room as the heroes grinned, celebrating a job well done. Why the kid couldn't handle that guy in the first place was beyond them, but they didn't say anything, too proud to feel anything but pure joy.
At last, Ray broke free of the handcuffs, having used Blackout's repeated assaults to weaken them. With a final tug of his super-strength, they shattered, and he was finally freed from the damn things - including the plasterboard.
"Dooooooofus!" (y/n) exclaimed, leaving the kids by the door to run into his embrace once the man was on his feet. She threw her arms around his neck, and Ray grinned, easily lifting her up as he pecked her cheek.
"There's my girl..." he whispered, spinning around before planting her on her feet again. Their lips met gently, earning a few whistles and groans from the kids, but the couple didn't listen.
"You looked so hot when you punched that guy..." Ray muttered into her ear, grinning from ear to ear as he squeezed her waist.
"Yeah? You were watching?" She replied quietly, knowing the kids would see them whispering and make all those puking noises, but it felt like an age since she'd been in his arms--even though it was only an hour or two.
She was pleased to have emphasised her hip movements during the fight when he was watching. She could tell which asset had captured her doofus' gaze simply by how he needily nuzzled into her neck.
"Couldn't help it..." the hero answered, kissing down her neck before glancing at the crumpled villain behind her. Part of him was disappointed in himself that he hadn't protected her--left her to be thrown around by that asshole, and it fuelled his need for revenge.
"Watch this..."
(y/n) followed her hulking lover as he plodded toward Blackout, a little unsteady on his feet since he'd endured a few too many hits. Still, he loomed over the pile of black robes, glaring down at the hunter who dared to hurt his precious wife.
"Hey, Blackout..." he called to him, only to get no reply from the snoozing criminal. "What'd you get when you cross a duck with a Shih Tzu? Blackout?"
"I think he's a bit...unconscious, doof," said his wife, who hovered by his side and grabbed onto his beefy arm, loving how muscly it felt under her hands. But that wasn't good enough for the man-child, who'd missed out on his excellent quip and lost his hilarious joke.
That made him mad - furious, even - so he did the normal thing. He kicked him in the spine as if it would be a wake-up call.
"Blackout!" He hissed, booting him again, but he didn't even squeak in pain. There wasn't even a flicker of life in the guy, making (y/n) look at the kids with a panicked expression.
"You don't think he's...do you?" she asked, looking at them wide-eyed before turning to Ray. He blew out his cheeks at her, just knowing that he'd have to be the one to scrape him up off the floor and dump the body...somewhere.
"Okay, that's your one for the year," he told Danger Force, who pouted that they'd lost their privilege so quickly - and Chapa didn't even get to savour it.
Ray got his weird, spiky, axey thing, which he quickly retrieved from Blackout's fingertips. Why couldn't she mildly maim a guy?
~The Man's Nest~
The following day was a sad one.
With his fears about Blackout and instant death, Henry's brief but glorious visit to his surrogate parents was over, even if he didn't want it to be. Despite everything - the lies, secrecy and trickery - he enjoyed seeing them again, bonding with Ray like old times and eating too much of (y/n)'s food.
He felt safe, loved, and wanted again, but with age came responsibility, and that was in Dystopia - he knew that now. He knew skipping town because of a few butterflies wasn't right, so it was time to put it right. And that would undoubtedly break the old man's heart.
"Ho-kay, laundry all done," Schwoz said as he finished folding the last of the kid's freshly washed and pressed clothing. He'd nearly killed himself trying to clean the small mountain, but it was worth seeing that cheeky smile again, putting it all into a big sack for the journey home.
"Thanks, Schwoz," Henry replied, tucking his PearPhone into his back pocket after finally responding to Charlotte. She'd give him hell when he returned, but he deserved it--and she was much scarier than Blackout.
"I left a little present in the pocket of one of your pairs of jeans."
"Aw, thanks..." the kid grinned, a faint blush painting his cheeks since he wasn't used to such affection. "What is it? Like, a little piece of candy?"
"All I can say is...it's alive," said the genius, making the boy pause and give him a suspicious, concerned look. Typical Shwoz...
"What? Seriously?!"
"It was nice to see you! I love your wig!" The bald weirdo exclaimed before scurrying off, greeting Ray and (y/n) as they passed through the metal door.
The kid frowned at what he said, touching his very real hair, but he ignored it, smiling sadly at them. He hauled the laundry bag over his shoulder and tried not to appear gloomy, knowing he'd never make it to the tube if the woman cried.
"Don't forget your Nacho Ball!" Ray told him as he handed over a sack full of greasy deliciousness. Anyone could see he was smiling bravely, showing the kid his most charming smile as (y/n) reassuringly squeezed his hand.
"Whoever sits next to me on the plane is gonna hate me..." the kid joked - anything to try and lighten the mood.
"Because of the farts?" Ray sniggered, giggling with his old sidekick like children as (y/n) shook her head and sniffed. She promised herself she wouldn't cry...
"I keep telling you not to eat dairy," she scolded him, clutching the Tupperware box in her free hand like a lifeline, which she needed when an awkward silence fell over them.
Over six years together, and she couldn't remember a time when no one had something to say...
"Oh, I made you some oatmeal-raisin cookies...for the flight," she said, quickly giving him the box, and her arms fell by her sides again, watching the kid try to juggle everything. "I would say save some for Charlotte and Jasper, but I doubt they'll last that long."
"No way..." Henry laughed, tucking the precious baked goods into his bag so he could nibble on them after the Nacho Ball. A final, familiar taste of home... "Thanks, (y/n/n)."
"Y'know...you don't have to go back to Dystopia," Ray told him slowly, hoping his last-ditch attempt would change the boy's mind.
It was almost impossible and a little late to stop now, but he could at least try as he curled his arm around his wife's waist and tucked his hand into her back pocket. He needed an old, squishy friend to pat to settle his nerves.
"No, I do..." Henry replied, glancing at the floor before giving his old friend a sad half-smile, "Running to Swellview just put you guys in danger."
"Yeah, but they took care of it, right?" The hero sniffed, gesturing to the children across the room, who barely knew what day it was, thanks to the adorable distractions he'd organised.
(y/n) was unbelievably jealous. She stared longingly at the four puppies nestled in each kid's arms and wished he'd let her have one. She helped save the day...why couldn't she cuddle one?
"They sure did, dude. That's a tough group of kids you guys have there."
"It always surprises us how much grit and determination each of them has," the heroine replied, trying not to sound all babyish and pouty as she fondly watched Danger Force by their lockers.
"Right, sweet girl..." Ray muttered, wiggling his fingers in the pocket against her butt, earning a light smack on the arm before his mischievous grin fell. "...Oh my God, they're baby-talking the puppies..."
"This was so worth it!" They overheard Miles exclaim as he petted his little French Bulldog, and the heroes couldn't help but smile.
"Later, Dangers!" The kid called out to them, and Miles, Mika, Chapa, and Bose looked up from the cute creatures and grinned.
"A-buh-bye, Henwy!"
"Byeeeee!"
"Have a safe trip!" They exclaimed in silly, squeaky voices, and to Ray's exasperation, they used the puppies' paws to wave goodbye, acting as if they were talking.
So, at last, the moment had come. Henry's flight was scheduled to leave a couple of hours, and he'd stretched his time in the Nest until the last second. Now, he had to go, turning to his tearful friends with a bittersweet smile.
"Wanna hug it out?" He offered, knowing (y/n/n) wouldn't let him go without one.
"Nah..." Ray shook his head stubbornly, hating the aching feeling in his chest like someone had clawed it out. He didn't want anyone to see him cry - especially Chapa - but his sweet girl didn't care, stepping forward and pulling the boy toward her in the blink of an eye.
"Well, I do!" She cried, tightly looping her arms around the kid's waist and burying her face into his chest. "My baby's not leaving without his goodbye hug..."
"Best hugs in Swellview..." Henry whispered, savouring the warm snuggliness for a few seconds as she clung to him, nuzzling his plaid shirt.
Glancing up, he saw the moody hero staring at them, a twinkle of jealousy in his blue eyes. When Henry beckoned him with two fingers, knowing he knew more about the woman's hugs than most, it wasn't surprising that Ray's stubbornness melted.
"...Maybe just one hug." He conceded and quickly joined his wife, wrapping his arms around her and the kid so she was sandwiched between them.
Henry patted the man's back as best he could, feeling the weight of both of them leaning on his body, and whilst it was immense, he wasn't mad. If anything, he savoured it, knowing he wouldn't have it again for many months; on the other side of the world where no one cared about him the way they did.
"I'll call you when I get home," he muttered to the heroine, grunting slightly when Ray's arms tightened - keeping his two favourite people in the world right where he wanted them.
"Don't forget..." (y/n) said in a joking, warning tone, having never felt so content in a hug before, running her hands up and down the boy's back. "And when you get home, you make sure to tell Charlotte and Jasper that I'm thinking about them..."
"I will..." he nodded, imagining his friends' grins when they received her love - even if he'd undoubtedly have eaten the cookies.
"And keep yourself safe," she added, stretching the moment for every it was worth. "And if you need anything, don't hesitate to call us. Not for a second..."
"Okay, (y/n/n). Don't worry..."
"I will worry..." She sniffed, feeling the tears pricking at her eyes, even as her husband's huge chest curled around her body. "I'll always worry when my babies aren't at home."
"I'll call..." Henry promised, squeezing her and Ray one final time before when his phone dinged. "Oh--that's my Goober."
"Yeah..." He was a bit stuck, trapped by her hug and Ray's immovable, muscly arms, and even though she loosened up, the man had no intention of letting go.
"I gotta go, guys..."
"Okay..." (y/n) said quietly, trying to save her sobs for once he'd gone, but even after her arms released him, Ray remained. He was lost in the moment, his hand locked on his wrist as the kid tried to push him away.
"Ray, I gotta go!"
"Doofus!" The woman groaned, feeling his hug grow a little tighter to the point where she felt like she was being steam-rolled. "Doofus, I can't breathe..."
"Ray, I gotta go!"
Henry took drastic measures when he didn't respond again, pushing the couple away with a small, light force field. It wasn't too strong, knowing he wouldn't live another day if he hurt her, but it broke the guy out of his daydream, leaving them all tangled up.
"Yeah, yeah..." Ray mumbled, draping himself over his pretty girl as Henry shook his head mirthfully. "Get outta here! Protect that Goober rating!"
"Yeah..." He nodded sadly, looking over his shoulder one last time as his PearPhone pinged - the sign of an irate taxi driver.
The air was heavy and stagnant as he shuffled to the tube, feeling like he'd hardly been in Nest for two seconds, and now, he was leaving. But, there was one little surprise left...
"Ow!"
To his horror, when he reached into his back pocket for his phone, something bit his fingertip, latching on and not letting go. When he pulled it out, he discovered Schwoz's little present—a delightfully tiny snapping turtle, much to everyone's confusion.
"Gotcha!" An evil chuckle came across the room when the metal door rose to reveal the genius lurking behind them, kneeling on the floor in his stupid pinafore.
"Schwoz!" Ray exclaimed angrily, but the little weirdo disappeared again, giggling manically as the kid flicked the little critter away and rubbed his sore finger.
"That really hurt..." he muttered, stepping onto the tube pad with all his baggage as the hero stared at him longingly, wishing
Who knew when his next visit would be?
"Wait!"
#ray manchester#ray manchester x reader#captain man x reader#dangerverse#reader insert#danger force#chapa de silva#henry danger#fanfiction#x reader#henry danger smut#henry hart#miss danger#danger force season 3#kid danger#captain man smut#captain man#ray manchester smut#ray manchester fanfiction#x ray#fanfic#my writing#writing#writeblr#writers#creative writing#writers on tumblr#on writing
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When I read this ...Sander saying this to Hanna, also feels like he is saying it to himself as well about Robbe...now that he's gonna be raising his baby alone...
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And then there's Robbe, in the first chapter, within moments of setting his eyes on Amelia goes: “I want to move back in.” ...“...Now I know how I want to be involved. I want to be here. Every day. Living it with you. Being here for both of you. Relieving some of your worries and stress. Taking on some of the responsibilities.”,,,, already a dad.🤍
The selflessness and love that is so inherent to Robbe couldn't have peaked more, he is such a giver<333 and I can't stop thinking how Sander's heart must have been bursting with love in that moment. Robbe is so right for him :') he is even beyond what Sander could think of.
I love your Robbe so much ❤️•́ ‿ ,•̀
This could get long...you have been warned. 😆😍
The one thing that becomes abundantly clear in my fics (and on my tumblr) is that I LOVE Robbe. He is by far my favorite character in all of Skam, and there's a reason for that. I am drawn to a very specific type of person. My family jokingly calls it "the boy scout," but essentially I find kindness and goodness attractive. There's a reason Captain America is my favorite Avenger and that I cried when Sam "I'm the most amazingly, wholesome, good person on the planet" Wilson became the new Cap. (Seriously, ugly crying, I love Sam Wilson.) I adore Peeta. He was my favorite character from day one, and when that goodness was destroyed in Mockingjay, I cried angry tears. She ruined the most loyal, honest character ever. Alec in The Shadowhunter Chronicles--his defining characteristic is that he's a protector, fiercely loyal. He didn't kill a demon until he was 19 bc he was out there defending Jace and Isabelle instead. Sure, he can be a sassy ass, but goodness literally pours out of him. Any time Magnus describes him, it's like he can't comprehend how honest and wholesome he is. It's literally what attracts him at first--shock at this enigma of a Shadowhunter. I could go on, but I'm sure you get the point.
Back to Robbe, so canon Robbe is like this for me. He never spoke ill about his mother or MI. All he did was love and support her. He never pretended to like Jana, and he immediately felt guilty for messing things up for Jens. He suffered a shit ton more homophobia during season 1 and 3 than the other Isaks, which is why his internalized homophobia was so deeply rooted (and why he did make a few bad choices - faking it with Noor, the slur). He actually liked Noor--as a friend, and that's why he tried so hard to make it work, and why they stayed friends afterward. And here's the big one for me, he BROKE UP with her before pursuing Sander. Sure, the pool kiss happened first, but it wasn't planned. He did not purposefully cheat. He manned up and didn't ghost her. For me, that was HUGE. And then we get to Sander. He biked around in the cold for over an hour, only to be pushed away. He broke up with Sander, not bc he was afraid of his MI, but bc he was told it was better for him, that he needed to stay away. Admittedly, his fear, shock, and misinformation led to illogical thinking, resulting in breaking up with Sander over text, and who would have thought Moyo would be the one to clear that up (whoo!). But the second he realized he was wrong, that he'd made a mistake based on incorrect info, he fixed it. He reached out. He called. He texted. He went to visit him. He didn't wait for Sander to need him, to reach out to him. He was actively pursuing him, all while thinking it was over bc he screwed up. All of this is what makes Robbe so special to me. He isn't perfect, but he always acts with a kind heart. None of this has been negated or challenged in later seasons. His fierce, loyal devotion to Sander is all over insta, and he literally glows with pride.
Now to my Robbe in "I Want it All," he's not perfect by any means, not like the Robbe in "Color of Love." I think that one was a little too one-dimensional, mainly because it was all seen through Sander's rose colored glasses. "I Want it All" was actually difficult at first because I usually write from Sander's POV, and it started with Robbe. I find it much easier to think like Sander and just gush about him. Having to be in Robbe's head made things more challenging, but what I've found as the story has progressed, is that Robbe's amazingness is still obvious, BUT we can see that he's flawed. He's (unintentionally) been awful to Sander. Many times. He allowed the Broerrrs to affect their relationship; he was a total ass after the kiss; and he completely ignored his own physical and emotional reactions to Sander, immediately followed by flaunting a completely inappropriate and awful boyfriend in his face, however unconsciously. I'm personally convinced, and since it's my story, I can state it as fact, I guess, that Robbe's jealousy chose Carlos to purposefully punish Sander for proposing to Hanna. It was a rebound, just not in the traditional sense. Granted, he's completely unaware of all this.
Somehow he's still the most caring, supportive, loving friend. One of my personal favorite moments is when he's taking care of Sander during the pregnancy. That's such a selfless, loving thing to do, and he's doing it by choice, not because anyone asked. He recognized that Sander was struggling to balance everything, and he stepped in. To me, that's love. It's unconditional, and that's what drives Robbe. He loves Sander unconditionally, and it's completely unrelated to romance. Even before he realized he was in love with him, he always gave Sander what he needed--a partner to raise his daughter with, companionship, laughter, help around the house, little presents that represent how important Sander is to him, etc. Apart from recognizing the meaning of his and Sander's feelings, he's completely in tune with him and always has been. We're not there yet, but imagine how heartbroken and utterly awful Robbe will feel when he realizes just how long Sander has been waiting for him. We got a glimpse of it in ch. 5, but our poor boy is going to judge himself rather harshly.
The dynamic is so different between them because Robbe is oblivious to his feelings, and Sander is not. What Robbe does and how he acts is completely out of love, no strings attached. He has no ulterior motive. That's what makes him so kind and sweet. Sander's actions, at least in this last part, are always tainted by his unrequited love for Robbe. He loves him. Always, but his disappointment and frustration get in the way. His choices and actions take that unrequited love into consideration, and because of where they are in their lives and the miscommunication, he actually acts against his own interests and feelings to try and protect himself. It's a very interesting distinction when you think that the one who is romantically in love with the other is the one in a serious relationship with someone else while the oblivious one hasn't really dated and only got a boyfriend after the proposal. Ouch. I'm not attacking Sander here at all because I love him too, and it's my fault he did all this; but my clear, obvious preference and love for Robbe and his absolute kindness and goodness, really shines through here.
Anyway, this really was long, but I do love Robbe. He is my favorite, and chances are any future fics will continue to make that obvious.
#did I just analyze my own fic? yikes#i want it all asks#i want it all#my asks#robbe ijzermans#sobbe#robbe appreciation post#probably way more than you were looking for
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Angry bird rant incoming
Like I’ve always said, it’s a rollercoaster being a Kimi supporter. Not even a pole position after nine years, can be celebrated long enough before we’re thrown deep down into the depths of sadness, but this dip wasn’t like the others, this was… betrayal. And never before in his entire career has it been so evidently clear on the Iceman’s face.
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Ferrari could’ve easily still achieved a 1-2 result with Kimi winning and Vettel in second at Monaco. So the idea that they did it for the best interests of the team and Kimi is being a sore loser is just plain wrong. They did it for the best interests of Vettel. It’s not illegal, so why not. A few sorry faces won’t cost them compared to the revenue they’ll make with another potential seven time world champion like Schumacher in the making. Actually, Kimi has a huge following and judging by the reaction of fans, even non-Kimi fans, on all the Scuderia’s social media, it might cost them a lot more than they thought.
As this article explains very clearly how Kimi was robbed of a victory, contrary to the excuses other sites and figures, even the official F1 media, which are trying to convince fans to save face of their sport being under controversial criticism. Vettel even lied about Bottas’ lap-time, trying to justify the over-cut being a response to a threat from Mercedes and RedBull. The only over-cut they were trying to do was to their own world champion, Kimi. He looked ready to give someone an uppercut after the race.
Blind folk will tell you to “look at the lap times”. Ok, yes I’ve seen them, what’s your point? “Kimi was slow and Vettel was faster, end of!” No he wasn’t that slow, even before pitting, he was simply left in the dark unlike Vettel who was told when to push and when he was pitting, Vettel wasn’t exactly flying before Kimi pitted either. Kimi was suddenly called in to pit with no warning and he was released into traffic which cost him the win. Look how close he and Vettel were once they met after the pits. Kimi could’ve easily been ahead without the order to release him into traffic which made him almost a whole lap disadvantaged. It’s one of those moronic situations where the truth is clear but people are so dumb to see it they need to trust F1’s spokepersons (hypocritical teambosses too) to defend Ferrari, luckily majority of us fans aren’t so stupid. Yes Vettel was faster but the question is how and why. How? He was in clear air and Kimi was in traffic. Why? Because Ferrari wanted it that way. He has been with them since 2014, and 3 years before that. Couldn’t they have honoured his services with a win in Monaco? It’s not like he was losing dramatic pace or made mistakes or had no chance. This isn’t about not accepting defeat, this is about unfair treatment.
Vettel makes out they are friends, and on Kimi’s part they probably are, but I never trusted Vettel and knew he would be crafty on track as he has previously shown in his career with “Multi 21” and what not. I don’t wanna get anymore personal but the way Vettel celebrated in Monaco whilst absolutely aware Kimi is not happy reduced my views of him even more. He prodded Kimi to shake his hand, what kind of winner goes seeking gratification like that? Then later says to the media he “heard” Kimi is upset, as if he didn’t see it for himself.
Not all of us understand what happened after Kimi clinched the title in 2007. Some of you may have read about the Santander deal which ousted Kimi for Fernando Alonso. But few of us know for certain, that something was not quite right and has not been ever since, despite Kimi’s return to Ferrari in 2014.
Since Michael Schumacher announced his retirement from F1 in 2006, that itself being forced by hand of then Ferrari boss Luca Di Montezemolo, the Scuderia needed a fitting replacement, the heir to the King, albeit a temporary one. The fastest guy around was Kimi Raikkonen who was falling out of love and patience with McLaren after suffering poor unreliability for 5 years, winning no championship with the team but built an impressive status nonetheless, narrowingly missing out on the 2003 and 2005 championships down to car failures. Apparently Ferrari jumped in and signed Kimi at the end of the 2005 season.
Everyone knew the quiet, mono-toned apolitical Finn was an odd match for the political Red outfit. Many of his fans, including myself, cringed at the idea. And for good reason. Plus, they had another Spanish driver in mind to fill Schumacher’s legacy, one who was more suited to the Latin image of Ferrari.
It was a matter of business and keeping friends close, but your enemies closer. Kimi Raikkonen, claimed by Sir Stirling Moss as “quite frankly the fastest driver in the world” was a threat to Ferrari and any other competitor. Why don’t they just embrace Kimi then, you’ll ask? Well, it’s a matter of personal taste, and those in control either love or hate Kimi. Whichever way, he doesn’t give a shit. Neither do I if anyone thinks I’m crazy.
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Ferrari pretty much instantly dumped Kimi, their world champion, no more than four races into the 2008 season. As the Santander article explains, Kimi was at his peak and achieved in his opinion the most perfect hat-trick weekend, scoring pole position, fastest lap and victory at the Spanish Grand Prix. After that it went downhill to money and business. Instead of Kimi fighting for the championship, which he was leading by the way, teammate Felipe Massa was pushed to the fore to take glory, missing out on the title in dramatic fashion in Brazil to Lewis Hamilton. Actions do speak louder than words, like Kimi’s 10 fastest laps record that season, so pace and performance wasn’t a factor. Even whilst Kimi was struggling in 2007 adjusting to a new team, new car, new tyres, he was fighting on fair ground because Massa won a few races too that year. Kimi was never, ever, hired to be Ferrari’s No.1 driver. And I’m glad, because he’s better than that. You just have to look at how long Massa was in that “top” team yet never became champion. That’s because he was the perfect no.2 for Schumacher and then another driver, Alonso. Of course Massa even did his duty on his home race, Brazil, for Kimi to win the 2007 title by one point. Massa wasn’t good enough to be their No.1 driver so they needed Kimi to win in 2007 and he got the job done.
The following year, in 2009, Kimi knew he was on his way out. He knew he was done by a business deal. But the comments surrounding his motivation and character made it even worse. It had absolutely nothing to do with motivation or his lifestyle. Kimi was going through a lot of difficulty personally that time too, but he never let it affect his job. You only have to compare his performances in the poor F60 to Massa’s. Kimi even made the donkey wagon win at Spa-Francorchamps in a heroic style, which is my all-time favourite victory of his at the Scuderia because it was purely him. His mechanics and engineers were astounded by his achievement.
But the whole scenario at Ferrari disheartened him so much, the Iceman actually left F1. That’s how bad it was.
He forgave them after his return to F1 with Lotus. But that’s only because he’s a decent man. He felt so strongly about 2007 and his dream coming true, the joy, the happiness, he still considers the Scuderia his “family”, but this emotional connection clouded his judgement. I’m sorry to say this but Kimi made a huge mistake returning to Ferrari. When it was announced, on my birthday of all days in 2013, I wasn’t happy at all. I knew exactly what would ensue. I don’t know why his manager Steve Robertson agreed to it, but he is a manager after-all and wants to ensure he gets the best deal available for his driver. Kimi’s return to F1 with Lotus was such a great comeback, but as always on this rollercoaster of a ride, it ended bittersweet. Financial issues and no salary, and harsh behaviour from certain team members, gave Kimi no choice but to leave.
Ferrari were getting nowhere with their marriage with Alonso no matter how much money they pumped into itl. That bubble burst and ended in divorce. Karma for ruining Kimi’s career, maybe. But Kimi rejoining the team to be Alonso’s No.2, seriously? Didn’t he or Robertson see that one coming? Maybe they did and just accepted it till Alonso left the team a year later and things would be equal again with a new driver? What else could explain this?
What is the true story Kimi? Was he just implying there’s car issues and problem solving practices in question or that he knows his position in the team? I think the latter is unlikely, due to this team radio:
“Yes, but who is making the calls? In one of those, I mean it seems to me at least we are not…. We seem to be getting second choice all the time. So, I wanna know what the hell is going on”.
Still wondering what the hell is going on? That was two years ago Kimi. It had to take achieving pole position after nine years (which by the way the team knew they could overcut Kimi in the race to let Vettel win), to realise you’re being treated unfairly?
This suggests to me there is no written agreement or clause in the contracts to suggest driver favouritism, otherwise why would Kimi be questioning like this? He would know about it and settle for it or leave. Him settling for it, obviously unhappy and complaining shows he does not know about it.
This is Ferrari.
They have cheated Kimi, betrayed his trust and played with his emotions. Heck, Kimi even invited Maurizio Arrivabene and his wife, who is Kimi’s team PR woman, to his wedding last year. This same man who, after Kimi’s excellent pole in Monaco, says “the champion is coming out sometimes“. Maybe because you Mafia guys have shackled him?
Few races earlier this year (and numerous races before since 2015), this is what they do to Kimi in the race when he is ahead of Vettel or threatens his position and then have the nerve to verbally abuse him to media for “doing nothing“?!
“Today Kimi seemed to have other commitments. I talked to Maurizio, maybe it’s time I sit with him and talk to him. “He seemed to be doing nothing on the track.”- Marchionne, Chinese Grand Prix 2017
So they’ve openly criticised him to the media in only the second race of the year? Claiming he always starts seasons on slow form and gets better? Maybe with Ferrari but he surely didn’t at Lotus after two years away from the sport.
Oh look, Arrivabene says it’s too early to start favouring a driver for the championship, what a lie!
And the sixth race in Monaco isn’t too early either? Why don’t you just admit you’ve handicapped Kimi since the start of the season and every other season to create such a large deficit between him and Vettel in points to justify your team orders to support him for the title? Oh wait, you can’t because you’re fooling him!
In the 2016 season, Ferrari didn’t win a single race, but they still messed about with Kimi. He and Vettel were on very similar pace since Australia, with Kimi outqualifying Vettel that season 11-10 and collecting a handful of podiums, with the odd exception of finishing ahead of Vettel at Spain in 2nd. With mixed fortunes for Vettel on track, Kimi was ahead in the WDC on a few ocassions, after the Russian, British, Malaysian GPs. Kimi was consistently out-qualifying Vettel towards the end of 2016, but with strange strategies and DNFs resulting in finishing behind the German on Sundays and in the championship.
In the 2015 season, as teammates for the first time, Kimi was on par with Vettel’s pace from the start. as James Allison stated Kimi making Vettel sweat. But Ferrari needed their No.1 to bring the team to glory, not the dude who won their last driver’s and constructors championships and suffered with them in 2014 and helped develop the car. In Australia, Vettel showed his class as he pushed Kimi wide into T1 on the first lap.
Malaysia 2015 was a clear indication to me that Kimi’s return to Red was indeed a mistake as Vettel took the team’s first win since Alonso. But I, like Kimi, persevered to watch this joke of a team, thinking he can win at some point without any issues like lack of engine power, electrical issues, clutch issues or poor pitstops and strategies again. Just look how dejected Kimi was after seeing the new boy take the fruits of hardwork Kimi actually made:
Then came Italy 2015, Vettel and Kimi qualified on the front row and Kimi’s car stalled on the start becoming dead last on the grid. That was the last straw for me, and that’s why I quit KRS on this blog since then. It was clear tampering with Kimi’s car to ensure Vettel gets the Italian podium for the Tifosi as the team’s higher paid driver and German Schumacher duplicate. Mercedes owned that year so Ferrari knew they couldn’t win at Monza, Hamilton did, so only one of their drivers could be on the podium so why not their No.1?
“Ah… maybe one day”
… what? Win one day? At Ferrari? That day has come and gone my dear. And it came again, to hurt like a knife in the back, last Sunday in Monaco. I don’t know, maybe he was just so deflated from not having won a race since 2013 and 12 years since winning there. Maybe he was extra invested in it emotionally since becoming a dad again to a baby girl and wants to make family proud. I’d like to think it was just those sentimental reasons, but as his despondent demeanor showed it clearly it wasn’t. I wish he would walk away from this “team” and find contentment elsewhere, whether it be in F1 or another sport or spending time with his real family.
Kimi considers Ferrari his family, well, they’re not, they’re your employers and colleagues, you should never mix business with pleasure. Now all I can hope is he has had words with the team and actually doesn’t get swayed by their fake reassurance and lies again and just leaves, it’s not like he can threaten to quit if they “do it” again as it’s never as clear cut as it was in Monaco’s race, sometimes their poor tactics are so subliminal that’s why Kimi is in this situation of utter perplex.
I’ll carry on supporting him as long as he races and hopefully will see him at Monza in September for the Grand Farce. Oops sorry. Prix. I meant Grand Prix…
– Evenstar
Scuderia Failrrari #Kimi7 #kimiraikkonen #scuderiaferrari #f1 #monacogp Like I've always said, it's a rollercoaster being a Kimi supporter. Not even a pole position after nine years, can be celebrated long enough before we're thrown deep down into the depths of sadness, but this dip wasn't like the others, this was...
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