#seashadow

[ineffableclassics]

Once in a while, someone has a truly good idea.

For Aziraphale, that idea was inviting Crowley to do their taxes together.

For us, it was opening a shared Google document and going feral.

Words: 16,229

Status: Complete

Rating: Explicit

By @d20owlbear @ednav @lurlur @wyvernquill

This is a locked fic

[fuckyeahgoodomensfanfic]

Good Omens Fic Rec: Crowley the Camdemon (Series)

(i'd rather be) in the palm of your hand  It was…intriguing, Aziraphale had to admit. “Curiosity killed the cat,” he told himself sternly. But then, satisfaction brought it back – wasn’t that the rest of the saying? However it went, he could already tell that he would be fretting the night away if he didn’t give in to temptation. (Aziraphale discovers that Crowley satisfied his loneliness in the previous decade by posting intimate videos of himself online - videos that Aziraphale himself was never meant to see.) your grace provides for me He had had his head in Aziraphale’s lap for half an hour before the question he’d been pondering finally came to the surface. “Angel?” “Mm?” Aziraphale moved his hand from Crowley’s hair to his forehead. “Yes, my dear?” As always, save for when Aziraphale brought them out while they were arguing, the words made Crowley smile. “I’ve been wondering something about my videos.” (Crowley and Aziraphale, in moving to a new stage of their relationship, discover that a certain demon's exhibitionist old habits add to - rather than detract from - its positivity.) no way to buy my bread  “Angel,” said Crowley, “I’m bored.” Aziraphale shifted on the couch and turned a page. “Then do something, dear.” (Aziraphale and Crowley decide to spice up their long, monotonous days with a return to certain erotic old habits.)

Length: 58,252 words (full series)

AO3 Rating: Explicit / Spice Level 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Best for: At Home, After Dark, Pick-me-up, Comedy

Triggers: None

Read it here, fic by seashadows

Note: this is a locked work you must be logged in to view it

*Minor Spoilers* I have actually been meaning to reread this series before posting about it because I wanted the details to be fresher, but because I just posted about a couple other sex worker stories I want to talk about this one now! This is another in my long list of favorites. It is a series of works that should really be read as one single work. You have to read all the parts, they're too delicious not to! There is also a fourth part to this series, that you should also read, but I did not link it directly on this post because it's an AU of this series and I wanted to focus on the main one.

This series starts off during their time at the Dowlings, and Aziraphale has been given a computer. The thing I love most about this story is the humor. I am obsessed with Aziraphale's characterization in this one. He's funny! And sarcastic and bitchy and obsessive! And don't forget, silly!! He is an absolute blast to read as he becomes obsessed with an online forum. This story features a lot of forum comments, and I really had fun with them! Well, as luck would have it, this forum leads him to online porn. Online porn of a particular creator. A particular creator he recognizes! (insert gay Aziraphale gasp here)

What follows is some of the best, and most fun, smut you're going to find. Lots of voyeurism, exhibitionism, and roleplay. Honestly I had a smile on my face for all of this. First, there is this sense of taboo, a secret obsession as Aziraphale goes through Crowley's catalogue. This risk of getting caught and how that is both frightening and arousing. And by part 2 we are getting playful and loving roleplay as they begin to share videos together. The forum comments once they start making content together were some of my favorite parts!

I just can't stress enough how much fun this one is. This author does humor so naturally and balances it with such steamy scenarios for these two idiots to get into. Obviously an after dark read, basically the plot is porn, so don't read this one at work folks.

Read it here, fic by seashadows

[foolishlovers]

Hi! I love your recs so much! Thank you for all the work you put into them! I hope it is okay to request my own? I would love to see a list of your favorite humorous explicit fics starring our ineffable idiots. I prefer non AUs, but if you have an absolute masterpiece, I'll take it no matter what!

Only if you want to, of course! Thank you, again!!

hey, that's so sweet, thank you so much!! 💜

of course, here are some of my favourite non AU humorous explicit good omens fics: [you can request more fic recs here.]

i made an excuse (you found another way) by orphan_account (1k) “Angel, the restaurant’s right there.” It was. Crowley gestured to it with a definitive arm wave. The Ritz was at the corner of Piccadilly and Arlington, and they could see the hotel facade as they stepped out of the park. “We can walk there.” “Let’s drive.”

Booty Call by emmagrant01 (2k) “It’s called a ‘butt dial,’ Angel. A ‘booty call’ is something else.”

The Angel Line by FancyTrinkets (2k) The one in which Aziraphale purchases and listens to a pornographic audiobook that just so happens to be narrated by Crowley. Aziraphale cringed and covered his face. This was going to be awful, and also thrilling, and he wasn't sure what he ought to be feeling about it, but there was a definite sense of vicarious shame.

Just a Taste by summerofspock (3k) See, it wasn’t so much the eating. It was the noises. It was the indecent look on Aziraphale’s face. It was the way he licked his fingers and wiggled in his seat. Every little action felt specially created to undo Crowley. And Aziraphale had no idea.

The Rake by CopperBeech (3k) During the long estrangement of the 1800's, Aziraphale practiced a secret hobby – and it wasn’t the gavotte. Crowley finds out in an unexpected way.

For a Good Time, Call by seashadows (3k) Three rings. Four. Seven, and then “Hello?” “Hello, sssssweetheart,” Crowley said. “How would you like my long, slithery tongue up your tight little –“ Then it hit him: he knew that voice. Dear. Fucking. Satan. (Sometime in the depths of the 1990s, Hell tasks Crowley with spreading lust. As usual, he makes as little effort as he can, but gets a heaven of a lot more than he bargained for.)

The One in Which Crowley Discovers Wanking by for_autumn_i_am (5k) It began, like most memorable events in Crowley’s life did, with a bad decision; like most bad decisions, it involved poor impulse control and copious amounts of alcohol. The Antichrist had been born, and he put on lipstick and kitten heels to deal with it, but knew that the clock was ticking, and at times when time was slipping away, it helped to hold onto a bottle of gin.

Fine Dining by iamshame (13k) "There was something else I was going to ask you," Aziraphale continued, unabashed. "Ah… How to put it?" He tapped his hand on his thigh for a moment, and then apparently found inspiration. "Ah! When you're…" Crowley made the mistake of making eye contact with him, and Aziraphale gave him another outrageous wink. "Dining out… What cutlery do you prefer to use?" "I'm sorry?" Crowley said pleasantly, trying his best not to cause anything in the dining room to catch aflame in his frustration. Aziraphale gave him a reproachful stare, as if Crowley were being very stupid. "When you're eating, Crowley. Do you favour the… The knife?" Aziraphale actually glanced conspicuously at his own crotch, and Crowley considered leaving the dining room via the nearest window. "Or the spoon?" Another raised eyebrow. "Or even, let's say, a fork?" "What the fuck is the fork in this situation?" Crowley hissed through gritted teeth. Aziraphale mentions that he'd like to have sex with Crowley. Crowley is completely taken-aback, and very conflicted, and very interested. Aziraphale is also trying to kill him by using elaborate food metaphors to explain the whole subject, which is not helping in the slightest.

Trial & error by fellshish (15k) The Metatron brings in the demon Crowley to stand trial in Heaven. For tempting an angel. Uhhhh. Awkward.

Feast by Ashfae, mostlyjustgoose (15k) Crowley's spent the whole of lockdown asleep. Aziraphale has spent the whole of lockdown baking, cooking, and becoming increasingly frustrated with his solitude. Which eventually leads him to the perfect way to solve all his problems at once… Or, Aziraphale attempts to seduce Crowley with a truly excellent meal, and Crowley is amenable.

One Night In Bangor (And the World's Your Oyster) by Atalan (17k) "All right, I know I'm going to regret asking this," Aziraphale says. "What exactly does this wager entail?" Crowley grins like the cat that not only got the cream but has absconded with the entire cow. He grabs the bottle and swigs straight from it despite Aziraphale's tut of disapproval.  "The pot goes to whichever demon can get an angel into bed by the end of the evening." AKA The Fic That Tumblr Made Me Write. Heaven and Hell share a corporate party once per millennium. This time someone's had the bright idea of issuing a challenge to the demons of Hell. Crowley has no intention of missing the opportunity; Aziraphale's just enough of a bastard to make him work for it.

Ideal Partner by summerofspock (17k) “Would you like to explain why you’re watching pornography? In your bookshop? During business hours?” Aziraphale flaps his hand, typically dismissive of any criticisms of his abysmal business practices. “Did you know I’ve been on this earth for nearly 6 millennia and have never engaged in intercourse before?” Crowley grinds his teeth and feels his cheeks heat. What is he supposed to say to that?

Anything for Science by Magnolia822 (20k) Aziraphale decides he wants to make an Effort, so he watches a lot of porn for science. And when he asks for help with more hands-on experimentation, Crowley is only more than happy to oblige.

The Loophole, or, How to Convince a Demon God Exists in Three Easy Steps by fellshish (24k) Ah, yes. Being an Archangel is going splendidly. Aziraphale accidentally erases God from the Book of Life.

32 Questions That Lead To Love by ffonippop (32k)

”First formulated in 1997, [32] questions to fall in love is a study by psychologist Dr. Arthur Aron which took place at Stony Brook University, New York. The aim? Speeding up the creation of intimacy between two strangers.” The Cosmopolitan

Okay, fine.

Crowley was 32-Questions-That-Lead-To-Love-ing Aziraphale. Sue him.

He had no expectations, all right? Just, an innocent curiosity.

The Grindr Logo Doesn't Even Have a 'G' In It by indieninja92 (79k) After the Apocalypse, Aziraphale ventures into a new space in the gay milieu - Grindr. There he starts talking to a charming young man who certainly doesn't bear any resemblance at all to a certain long streak of demon, not one bit, no thank you. Meanwhile, Aziraphale and Crowley navigate their friendship after the world failed to end. There is much drinking and silliness, but could it be that there are other feelings lurking underneath?? Of course there are, this is fanfic.

[you can find more fic rec masterposts here]

[fellshish]

Only crowley and aziraphale could have accidental phone sex. This short E rated fic (for a good time, call by seashadows) is hot, funny and full of clever metaphors <3

[weasleywrinkles]

Hi, can I ask 2, 4 and 5 for the ask game please?

Hi!! Of course you can, my pleasure! :) 2. do you have any merch? Yes, I have two tshirts, one general GO and one Bildad the Shuhite. My most priced possessions! 4. what is (if you read) your favorite good omens longfic? What Are You Doing Here by @alphacentaurinebula, hands down has to be a soft spot of mine. 5. what is (if you read) your favorite good omens one-shot? Ahhh there are so many! For a good time, call by seashadows, What A Mouth Can Taste by @afrenchwriter, Autumn Leaves and Show Me Where the Nightingale Sings by @sabotage-on-mercury, Trial and Error by @fellshish.. I am in awe of all of you talented people! Thank you for asking <3

[yourghostwrotethis]

Fic Recs #1

It's two A.M.. I'm not quite sure what to do because I'm not sleepy. Why not do a small recommendation list?

Actual recs under the cut. Read until the end!

All of these are pre-season 2, and take place in the show universe.

Talk About It (T)

by hope_in_the_dark (on Tumblr as @hope-inthedark)

Aziraphale and Crowley have been best friends for sixteen years. Crowley's been in love with Aziraphale for almost that long. When Aziraphale tells his family that he'll be bringing his boyfriend to his step-brother's wedding, things get a bit complicated. A Fake Dating AU.

Word count: 20806 (Complete)

I love fake dating AUs SO MUCH. And this is for sure one of the best ones out there. It's the perfect length, and there are snapshots through time that are simply lovely. I'm usually not a fan of the "long-time friends" trope, but this fic does it wonderfully. I don't want to say much more because I don't want to spoil anything but - it's great. Read it.

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The Curve of Old Bones (E)

by Jenanigans1207 (@jenanigans1207)

Aziraphale watches as Crowley’s smile grows, sharpens and turns distinctively dastardly. And even though Aziraphale knows what he’s in store for, he’s entirely unprepared for the words that slip out of Crowley’s mouth next. “Name’s Anthony Crowley, Aziraphale’s husband.” Aziraphale is eternally grateful that he wasn’t taking a sip of his tea at that exact moment for he would’ve surely choked on it. -- When Crowley claims to be Aziraphale's husband to ruin what he assumes is a date, he doesn't think anything of it. But a day later it comes back to bite him in the ass when Crowley finds out that the date in question is, in fact, his new boss, who is looking to hire Aziraphale and hoping that Crowley, his husband, will put in a good word for them. Now Crowley is caught in a tight spot: either admit to his new boss that he was lying, or convince Aziraphale, his sort-of enemy, to pretend to be his husband to save face.

Words: 201271 (Complete)

Fair warning before you start: this one is LONG. I read really fast and even for me, this took a while. Every word is beautiful, but this is (well. Partly.) a slooooooww burn. If you don't like pining, or the two main ones being idiots: don't read this. But if you decide to give it a go, this story is absolutely worth your while.

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Married at First Sight (T)

by Aracloptia (@aracloptia)

“Well, that was a thing,” Crowley said once they were out of earshot. Without talking about it, they were both heading down the field, towards the lake where the photographer (and likely a few more people from the TV crew) was waiting. “That was a wedding,” Aziraphale replied, surprised at his own annoyance that somebody called a wedding a ‘thing’. “Yeah, obviously, didn’t miss that part,” Crowley said with a shrug, and waved abruptly in Aziraphale’s general direction. “Neither did you, from the looks of it, since you’re dressed like a wedding bride and everything.” “Excuse me, I am a—“ Aziraphale stopped himself, and started over.

——— In which Aziraphale ends up marrying a rude stranger who wears sunglasses.

Words: 92583 (Ongoing)

Ha. Yet another fake relationship AU... This time it's a fake marriage! But it's so so so cute and lovely and if it were corporeal I would want to squish its cheeks. There's a bit of miscommunication, so people who don't like that can be cautious, but it gets resolved and they become the better for having gone through it.

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The Next Time We Wed (T)

by seashadows (@godihatethisfreakingcat)

“Guys, I’ve looked at the marriage license,” Anathema said, “and I’ve gotten copies of our notices and everything. The names on the documents aren’t Newt’s and mine anymore. Apparently they never were. They’re yours.” When a drunken attempt to help a friend gets Crowley and Aziraphale accidentally married, their decision to fake it instead of fix it changes their relationship in a way neither of them realizes the other wants. Over the course of a few short months, two supernatural beings discover that there are plenty of things they don’t know about each other, two humans finally get married (again), and everyone learns how to be a little braver.

Words: 21131 (Complete)

The footnotes. The FOOTNOTES. I love a good footnote, and this fic is riddled with them. It's one of the very first Good Omens fics I read and loved, so it has a special place in my heart. The humour drew me in immediately, and the plot and emotional moments kept me in. READ IT. READ IT NOW, I SAY.

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Everything That's Meant (T)

by journeytogallifrey (@journeytogallifrey)

When two unconventional lead actors are cast in the series adaptation of Agnes Nutter's Prophecies, sparks fly and new ground is broken. Aziraphale Fell, classically trained and known for powerful biopics, yearns for a popular lead but is hindered by his brother's insistence that he stay in the closet. Anthony J. Crowley has perfected flashy, charismatic villains, but wonders if a hero will ever be on the cards for him. With Aziraphale as the angel Raphael and Crowley as the demon Asmodeus, something feels... off. But a breakthrough during a late-night rehearsal sets into motion something greater than they ever dreamed. Now all they have to do is overcome nefarious producers, bigotry, and a set that seems to be haunted by all manner of spirits and curses - all while falling for each other in a way Crowley finds exhilarating and Aziraphale finds terrifying. If they can survive it all, they'll come out the other side with the series of their career... and maybe even a chance at their own happily ever after. ~~~ Pre-written; updates daily until complete!

Words: 105043 (Complete)

I was lucky enough to witness this as it was updating, and it's wonderful! I'm very fond of actor AUs, and this was a great one. Journeytogallifrey made good choices, and there are plenty of moments where I audibly laughed, gasped, or cried. Special mention to Crowley's relationship with gender.

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wasteland, baby (M)

by john1513 (@alwayscomewhenyoucall)

“Listen. Fell. I...I might, uh, have an idea.” “You do?” Aziraphale said, and hated the hopeful way he said it. “I’ll do it.” “You...won’t like it.” “Will it keep me out of prison?” “Maybe. Maybe the both of us. For now. Ideally.” “Then yes.” Crowley’s expression tightened, and Aziraphale wasn’t sure if Crowley wanted to cry, or laugh. “You really, really won’t like it.” “I’ll like prison less.” He responded plainly. Crowley’s face twisted into something soft at first, just for a second, before searing into a careful little smirk, and Aziraphale knew that smile, that Cheshire cat smile, much too well to not be cautious. “Crowley, dear. What are you doing on the floor?” He cleared his throat. “Angel. Remember when I said you wouldn’t like it? Well, uh, here we are.” His smile grew awkwardly, apologetically, and Aziraphale had a sinking feeling about it. “Angel. Will you marry me?” ----- Crowley and Aziraphale plan a fake marriage to avoid having to testify against each other in court...they get much more than they bargained for.

Words: 45748 (Complete)

I found this while looking for fake relationships, but I'm not quite sure the term applies. It's just so sweet and kind and GOOD and fluffy. If you like both being nice, go here. And even if you don't. It's technically a mafia AU even though I forgot about that part so there's a little bit of grittiness nonetheless. Overall a very nice read.

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And finally, for the last one...

Fifty-Two Blue (M)

by bendycello (@bendycello )

It would be a gross understatement to say that Crowley simply didn't like Aziraphale. He was posh and stuffy and arrogant, and Crowley couldn't figure out why everyone else in the program liked him so much. It hardly mattered; they were competitors, and Crowley didn't need to make friends to become a surgeon. It takes several unleasant encounters, the excessive use of house plants as a coping mechanism, and getting stuck in an elevator for Crowley to start reconsidering his priorities. Or... Crowley and Aziraphale are surgical interns with competitive streaks a mile wide each, and they really do not like each other at all. Until they do. (This whole fic is pre-written and completed, and updates will usually be weekly on Saturdays!)

Words: 37976 (Ongoing)

So. Anyone who knows me well knows that this is on my mind 24/7. I post about it fairly regularly. I go insane when a new chapter is up. It's *The* Fic. When I started this I knew this was going to be there. I can't even describe it it's just SO GOOD ARGH. (it's also long) I've read it so much Chrome automatically sorted it into one of my most visited websites. (I'm not even kidding.) The humour is perfect, the plot is too, the CHARACTERISATION. OH MY GOD. IT'S SO GOOD AND SO COMPLEX. I'm trying to stop myself from going on a rant about it because it could last for a while.

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I also love receiving recs, so if anyone wants to boost their fic or wants to share a great one, please do!

I really like fake dating (if you couldn't guess), human AUs, all that sort of thing. But please feel free to share anything that doesn't deal with those themes!

I'm OwlWolf22091 on Ao3, in case you want to check out other bookmarks :P

[teddyoverthinks]

Theme: Accepting Love; Trusting Joy; Moving Past Pain

Here is a prayer developed from a fanfiction excerpt, presented in three formats and as the original excerpt. Then a short essay on how the prayer might be used. For anyone new to my page, I then include an explanation of sacred reading and why I use fanfiction of all things to do it.

hopeful prayer format

Let me accept love and compassion, when they finally come to me. Let me turn my back on the old pain and loneliness. Let me trust in the new comfort comfort and joy. Let me move on.

self-assuring affirmation format

I can accept love and compassion, when they finally come to me. I can turn my back on the old pain and loneliness. I can trust in the new comfort and joy. I can move on.

willful vow format

I will accept love and compassion, when they finally come to me. I will turn my back on the old pain and loneliness. I will trust in the new comfort and joy. I will move on.

original excerpt

Necessary Context: In this The Hobbit fanfiction, dwarves have a tradition of saying “our friend deserves a song”. This takes the form of a song of comfort, a song to uplift the spirit, a song of solidarity, et cetera. Bilbo thinks this is lovely, and he wants to be included, but he isn’t. 

Passage:

“Thorin’s hard hug and husky whisper of how wrong he was warms him until he thinks his entire body is aflame, but…but—

—there is no song for him after, and now he thinks there never will be.

Is he truly such an abhorrent thing that they begrudge him friendship and the songs that come so easily from their lips for any other companion?

He gave his word and his heart to their quest, but the quiet, softly hurt place inside him hardens, bitter inside like a kernel. Perhaps it would be just as deadly if he prodded it. There will be no songs for me, he vows, and leaves the kernel of pain alone.

---

“I would sing for you here,” Thorin whispers into the back of his neck when they lie cuddled beneath a blanket that night. “Would you like that?”

He should. Bilbo’s chest leaps with surprise and pleasure, but the next moment, his eyes fill with tears. Shocked, he turns his face into his rough pillow (Thorin’s cloak, still smelling of smoke and Dwarf) to hide it. He would sing only here, not in front of everyone. What have I done? Have I even earned friendship from the Company?

---

“Bilbo,” he says, “oh, Bilbo, you should have said something.”

The kernel pierces him from inside at that. Bilbo wipes his face on his sleeve. “I…I didn’t want to have to ask.”

Thorin kisses the tip of his ear. “Then you will not.”

---

It is a clear, cold morning when Thorin emerges from the tent after he has healed enough to walk without buckling at the knees. “My betrothed deserves a song,” he says simply to the gathered Dwarves, Men, and even Elves, and begins a ballad in Khuzdul and Westron about a King and his consort, a song thousands of years old.

The tears in Bilbo’s eyes are tears of joy this time, and he can feel the hidden pain dissolving after so many months of hurt. Yet as the kernel slips from him, it pokes him one last time with a thought that brings a pang. 

What if he only sings before these people because I made him? 

No. 

He shakes his head and holds Thorin’s hand all the tighter, and smiles at his Dwarf when he is done.”

—seashadows, I Never Had a Single Song

prayer in practice

There is so much about this excerpt that I think about. I could write a whole other sermon about Bilbo’s coping mechanisms. There is a lot to think about, earlier on. (He allows himself to believe he is not worthy, rather than ask for the dwarven reasoning for not offering a song, or even try to guess it). I could also write about the importance of these community love languages. But the really, truly outstanding part of this piece is the healing that occurs at the end of the passage.

Bilbo’s decision to ignore that final thought impresses me every time. That kernel of hurt that he’s carried with him for so long is powerful, but he refuses to believe what it tells him. 

Sometimes we carry hurt with us to protect ourselves from more hurt. We desensitize ourselves to it. We think this helps, but it doesn’t. There comes a point when we are surrounded by comfort and we still don’t trust it. It is so important to choose to change that.

I remembered this excerpt because my friend was talking on the discord server about how nice it is that we have silly, fun roles. If you don’t use discord, roles are a practical feature so you can tag everyone with a certain role (like, you can tag all of the writers if you have a writing prompt). We have practical roles, but all active sever members end up with a few that are inside jokes and little descriptors of who we are.

@beatle411: “When I was a little and in a roleplay amino server, I was always so,,,, like the other 3 people there gifted each other roles all the time and never me. And I felt so left out, eventually I had to ask for roles and that didn't feel nice. So this is very nice, to have friends who just give them. And such funny ones at that.”

Because they’re a fellow Tolkien nerd, I immediately asked to send them this excerpt. I’ve been wanting to post about it for a while, but I was struggling with what to say about it. Our conversation really helped me narrow down what’s so cool about it. So, many thanks to Eddy. Also, a big shoutout to the server buddies for being such a lovely group. 

Anyway, the point is that this prayer applies to situations where we find ourselves healing and we notice that kernel of hurt. Maybe it’s fading, maybe it isn’t yet, but either way it is an opportunity to choose to have faith in something happier.

explanation of what you just read

In her book Praying With Jane Eyre: Reflections on Reading as a Sacred Practice, Vanessa Zoltan explains and demonstrates how she treats literature as sacred text. I highly recommend reading this book, as it’s incredibly interesting, helped me grow as a person, and explains the concept and process more thoroughly than I do here.

In short, the idea is that sacred texts aren’t accessible to everyone—some of us have religious trauma, for example—but there are other ways to find spiritual expression. In Praying With Jane Eyre, Zoltan references scenes from Jane Eyre, Harry Potter, Little Women, and The Great Gatsby where most sermons would reference the preacher’s chosen holy book. I grew up hearing sermons that referenced Christian bible stories, and I’d get caught up in my discomfort with the text. In some ways, that protected me from internalizing the biases of the religious community. Yet it also kept me from taking comfort in the words that genuinely helped others through hard times.  

I feel the need to clarify that Zoltan’s process isn’t about forming religions around books not intended to be religious material. Instead of mentioning a story about how David faced Goliath, she mentions a story of how Jane Eyre faced her abusive aunt. Sometimes, she prays with a quote from the book by adapting the words of the text into a self-affirmation. Zoltan doesn’t assume that everything in the text is good—for example, she doesn't assume that the ending of Jane Eyre is a happy one (which would have troubling implications). She simply assumes that there's a lesson buried within the text.

Zoltan’s process works much better for me than any associated with the organized religion I grew up with, but I’m not as close to the text of Jane Eyre as she is. I also found myself uncomfortable with treating Harry Potter as sacred, so Zoltan’s podcast Harry Potter and the Sacred Text was, unfortunately, not for me. I decided to begin collecting quotes from what I do read—which, okay, I’m an English major, so I could have used folk tales or ancient epic poems or twentieth-century short stories, because I do read plenty of those. It would work fine with any of them. Sacred reading even helps me understand folk tales from the audience’s perspective.

But I also read a lot of fanfiction, and I wanted to think about it in a new way. Fanfiction is a modern method of retelling stories. The act of retelling a story over and over is evidence that it is important to a great deal of people. Fanfiction is, legally speaking, not for profit. In this capitalist society that means people are telling these stories solely because they want to. That, in my opinion, creates an exponentially more spiritually honest work than one edited and sold to a publisher. Fanfiction writers, especially those who use the archive, trust that their target audience will find them.

I don’t mean to put fanfiction on a pedestal. It has its pitfalls, especially when it comes to elements of craft like visual description and reliance on clichéd tropes. Frankly, when I started, I thought I would get no more than a few good quotes, mainly from the really long fics. I didn’t expect my google doc of fic excerpts to grow to 200 pages and counting within a few months. But it did. Fic writers impressed me over and over once I began to look.

I wasn’t really sure what I planned to do with the quotes for a while, but I knew I wanted to share them with the world. Ultimately, I wanted to write sermons which pulled from transformative works as well as personal anecdotes—but this took time and practice. I began by simply sharing quotes that struck me, occasionally adding analysis in the tags.

Now, this account also has several prayer sheets like this. I always include Zoltan’s self assuring affirmation format, as well as my hopeful ‘let this happen’ prayer format and willful ‘I will work to make this happen’ vow format. Personally, I cycle through all of them, because I think all three versions of the prayer are important to internalize.

I have also written sermons as well as essays with discussions of sacred reading and retold stories. If you like this, you might be interested in the rest of my page!

[bitspieces]

This is great but what is even better is that I actually read a fic that was this except Aziraphale was the one posting on r/AITA

link here in case anyone wants to check it out, it's super fun with a side of sweet:

everyone come look at this fucking AITA post i just saw

[go-erika-bost-world]

Un attimo... #picoftheday #seashadow #seaside #seascape #seaview https://www.instagram.com/p/CdBQlLAKrlX/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[aziraphales-library]

Do you have any recommendations for accidental marriage fics between Crowley and Aziraphale.

I loved marriage lines and was wondering if you knew of any fics similar to it.

Here are some...

Ineffable Husbands by ImprobableDreams900 (G)

Aziraphale finds an old marriage certificate in one of his books, and it has two very familiar signatures at the bottom...

Sealed by Aethelflaed (G)

London, Three weeks after the Apocalypse: Crowley finds a certain document tucked away in a forgotten book. Mercia, 1020 CE: An angel and a demon meet to finalize an Arrangement... “I’m still not sure,” Aziraphale said slowly, “that the Arrangement need be so…formalized.” “Fifteen years ago,” Crowley snapped, sweeping his wing behind him, “you said you weren’t sure you were comfortable with a nebulous agreement. I don’t know what more you want from me, Angel.” “But it’s hardly appropriate for an angel to enter into a contract with Hell.” Aziraphle carefully placed the document to the side.

Slow by write_away (T)

It started like this: A boy with the ability to warp reality met an angel and a demon and he made assumptions. You might say it started like this: An angel and a demon found a marriage contract hung on the wall of the angel's bookshop. They didn't question it. It also could have started like this: Once upon a time, the angel told the demon he went too fast. The demon took it to heart. Aziraphale and Crowley find themselves somehow married. Crowley fears going too fast. Aziraphale forges ahead. Neither know how to ask questions of each other.

Vows by Bookwormgal (T)

Crowley certainly didn't do it on purpose. It wasn't something that he exactly planned. But a moment of desperation and stubbornness gave birth to the creation of something new. A bond forged of power, hope, devotion, love, and promises that he would never break. It isn't often that a demon metaphysically half-marries an angel.

The Next Time We Wed by seashadows (T)

“Guys, I’ve looked at the marriage license,” Anathema said, “and I’ve gotten copies of our notices and everything. The names on the documents aren’t Newt’s and mine anymore. Apparently they never were. They’re yours.” When a drunken attempt to help a friend gets Crowley and Aziraphale accidentally married, their decision to fake it instead of fix it changes their relationship in a way neither of them realizes the other wants. Over the course of a few short months, two supernatural beings discover that there are plenty of things they don’t know about each other, two humans finally get married (again), and everyone learns how to be a little braver.

Legally Binding by Valvopus (M)

Aziraphale wakes up and wishes he wasn't naked in a bathtub with Crowley. He really wishes he remembered what happened the previous night. Crowley just wants to fix things and make sure Aziraphale doesn't stop speaking to him again, because they seem to have done something truly stupid. An accidentally married AU. This fic is mostly set before said marriage. Each chapter is immediate aftermath of waking up married, alongside the backstory of their developing relationship.

And I assume this is the one you mentioned (but please include authors and/or links!)...

Marriage Lines by Bil (G)

Crowley said, voice very carefully even, “So, were you ever planning on telling me that we were married?” In which Aziraphale finds an unexpected surprise, contemplates parchment and copperplate, visits a picture framer, and eventually gets his happy ending.

- Mod D

[artgroves]

Battlefield Kiss

for the @theoldguardevents '22 Reversebang

[uniasus]

fic rec! 37K series, featuring ineffable husbands. smut ahoy

Summary: A comment about “ee-bay” from a woman in the shop leads Azirapahle to a delightful book forum, which in turn leads the angel to an artistic porn artist. Who may, no, very much is Crowley.

Comments: There’s so much to like about this. Crowley’s videos are delightful, but so is the forum drama as he lets the book forum know he thinks he knows the porn artist. Watching Aziraphale stumble in information digging is also enjoyable because here’s Aziraphale, stammering about if Crowley likes Shakespeare cuz Crowley did a film where he reads it out loud, and Crowley’s like “of course I like him, I knew Old Will.”

Of course, things heat up as Aziraphale drunk comments on old videos, Crowley seeks him out, and suddenly the forum is pinging Aziraphale going “is this for you~~~???”.  And then the sequel is the two of them doing, you guessed it, porn scenarios. I did tell you smut ahoy for this one. It’s pretty tasteful though.

[28daysearlier]

Count me in for #patinawar2017 #patinawar - seems like a challenge #bronzewatches #seashadow #anconwatch

[highbeeans]

Here’s another entry for @theoldguardevents reverse big bang! This time I’ve teamed up with the amazing seashadows.

Please read her fic over HERE and do leave kudos/comments! 💜💜💜

[lupines-slash-recs]

Rec: In the Same Manner by seashadows

Rec: In the Same Manner by seashadows

Title: In the Same Manner Author: seashadows Canon: Moby Dick Pairing: Queequeg/Ishmael Rating: Teen [PG] Word Count: 1,881 Summary: Maui was flooded with relief when he saw the man paddling, or rather trying and failing to paddle. (A thousand-year-old friendship brings a demigod out to save a (more…)

[weirddickspress]

Fics I Plan To Bind (1/?)

Petrichor and Parchment, by MrsNoggin

A Bushel And A Peck, by Thehoyden

You, Soft And Only, by Thehoyden

Car Trouble, by Summerofspock

The Serpent And The Lady, by Summerofspock

Green Things, by Summerofspock

Under Construction, by Summerofspock

Against Expectatrions, by Summerofspock

Not A Mounded Dildo But A Fuck Machine, by Summerofspock

An Angel's Temptation, by Summerofspock

Mark Of The Serpent, by Summerofspock, NaroMoreau (when finished)

Crown of Thorns [The Walls, The Wainscot, and the Mouse], by Irisbluefic

Dearly Departed, by Attheborder

What We Make Of It (Shotgun Wedding), by Charlottemadison

On The Same Page, by Chekhov

Be Still, My Love, Be Still, by Entanglednow

Flowers From Hell, by Entanglednow

From The Outside In, by Entanglednow

(Honestly probably an Entanglednow compilation of smaller works)

Crowley the Camdemon, by Seashadows

You Can Cut My Hair But You'll Never Cut My Comedically Long Fanfic Titles!!!, by Indieninja92

The Grindr Logo Doesn't Even Have A 'G' In It, by Indieninja92

Ink Blots And Forget-Me-Nots, by Gutsandglitter