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mononijikayu · 2 months ago

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treasure in the sea — fushiguro toji.

“Okay, then, Toji….” you teased lightly, hoping to ease the heaviness of the moment. “What’s the most complicated thing in your life right now?” He laughed softly, the sound mixing with the crash of the water. “You asking me that, here of all places, doll.” he said, shaking his head as if you had walked right into some unspoken truth. You blinked, suddenly unsure of what to say. “What do you mean?” Toji met your gaze, the teasing spark in his blue–green eyes replaced by something more serious, more real. His voice was low when he spoke, just loud enough for you to hear over the ocean. “You, probably.”

GENRE: alternate universe - modern au!;

WARNING/S: not safe for work (nsfw), r-18, angst, fluff, first love, friends to lovers, romance, love, drama, hurt/comfort, break up, college sweethearts, smut, kissing, oral receiving, implied p-i-v sex, sexual intercourse, pining, hurt, happy ending, domestic, loss, death, grief character death, guilt, parenthood, depictions of sexual acts, depiction of pining, depiction of parenthood, depiction of guilt, depiction of grief, depiction of character death, depiction of break up, mention of parting, mention of the past, mention of character death, mention of drug overdose, mention of sexual acts and conducts, dad!toji, mom! reader, son! megumi;

WORD COUNT: 14k words

NOTE: i can't believe that toji finally won a poll and with a massive lead. i loved writing this a lot and this was so exciting to write. this was based on this japanese show called umi no hajimari and i adored the show. everything about this was just so lovely. i feel like toji in canon did love megumi and mamaguro a lot, so i wanted it to translate here no matter what. there is smut here so this is a prelude to the kinktober event that starts on october 4th, 2024. i hope you enjoy that too!!! anyway, i love you all <3

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if you want to, tip! <3

IT WAS LIKE FATE LET THIS HAPPEN. In the bustling crowd of students gathering around tables covered with colorful fliers, you spotted him: Zenin Toji, standing tall and frigid, looking somewhat out of place, his eyes scanning the scene as if he wasn’t quite sure where he wanted to be.

Meanwhile, you, shorter and bright eyed, were grabbing every flier you could find, from the Art Club to Ultimate Frisbee. It was quite crazy, to see you grab them with a smile on your face over and over in a speed he couldn’t keep up with. Toji noticed your enthusiasm, probably confused by the sheer number of papers you were collecting.

You exchanged a glance, a brief nod and a small smile. But it was clear he wasn’t sure about the whole "college club" thing. He wasn’t even sure about joining school clubs in high school.

He lingered at a few tables, undecided, but eventually, you lost sight of him in the crowd as you moved on to collect more fliers and started mingling with the upperclassmen managing the booths accommodating the freshmen. Toji thought you were a dream, a moment’s notice. And yet, what he didn’t realize is that you were anything but that.

Later that evening, you attended a dinner event hosted for various clubs, a casual mixer where students could gather, chat, and get a feel for different groups on campus. To get used to college life. The room buzzed with laughter and conversation, and tables were spread with club brochures, each one trying to outshine the others to attract new members.

You had settled at a table near the center, surrounded by people engaged in light conversation, but your thoughts kept drifting. You had collected a few fliers from the clubs you were curious about, but you still felt undecided. Well, they all had mixers in the upcoming days. So, you wanted to judge them by eating at the restaurants they went to. The better the food, the better you feel about the club!

As you chatted politely with a few others, you caught a glimpse of someone familiar out of the corner of your eye. That tall boy with that obnoxious gaze. Zenin Toji, who you'd seen earlier in the day looking equally disinterested, was seated a few tables away. His broad frame slouched back casually, yet something about his presence felt charged. The rest of the room seemed to fade for a moment as he caught your eye. A slow, playful smirk curled on his lips.

Before you could react, Toji stood and approached your table. Without hesitation, he plopped down into the empty seat beside you. "Still hoarding fliers?" he teased, his voice low and amused.

You glanced at the stack of fliers you had gathered, caught off guard by his casual confidence. “I guess I am.” you said with a small smile, half-laughing at his remark, trying to shake off the flustered feeling his sudden closeness brought. His presence seemed to shift the mood, drawing your focus entirely to him, while the rest of the room hummed in the background.

Toji leaned back in his chair, his gaze flicking between you and the fliers, clearly finding humor in your indecision. “Any standouts, or are you just collecting paper at this point?”

The playful banter had a magnetic pull, and despite not knowing much about him, you found yourself leaning into the conversation.

You shifted in your seat, the weight of his presence drawing you in despite the crowded room. “A little of both, I think.” you replied with a smirk, trying to match his easygoing attitude. You glanced at the fliers in your hand, suddenly self-conscious. “I’ve narrowed it down to a few, but… haven’t quite committed.”

Toji chuckled, his eyes glinting with amusement. “Commitment issues, huh?”

You shot him a playful glare. “Maybe I just like to weigh my options. I mean, the better the food, the better the shot.”

His smirk widened, and he leaned in slightly, his arm resting on the back of your chair. “Or maybe you’re overthinking it.” he said, his voice dipping lower, more personal. “Sometimes it’s better to just pick something and see what happens.”

The sudden shift in his tone sent a ripple of warmth through you, his casual confidence making it hard to resist the pull of the conversation. He didn’t seem like the type to overthink anything, which was probably why he intrigued you so much. Toji was all instinct and ease, a stark contrast to your careful, measured approach to things.

“Is that what you did?” you asked, raising an eyebrow. “Just pick a club and see where it takes you?”

Toji glanced around the room, as if he hadn’t really considered joining anything until now. “I haven’t picked anything yet,” he admitted, leaning back again, his arm still casually draped behind you. “Not sure if I will.”

You tilted your head, curiosity getting the better of you. “So why are you here then?”

He shrugged, but there was a glint of mischief in his eyes. “Maybe I was waiting to see what you’d pick.”

The comment caught you off guard, and you felt a faint blush rise to your cheeks. His teasing was effortless, and it disarmed you more than you cared to admit. “Oh, so now I’m the deciding factor?” you asked, trying to deflect with humor, but your heart skipped a beat at the playful challenge in his words.

“Looks like it.” he replied smoothly, his eyes holding yours for a moment longer than necessary. There was something unspoken in the air between you, an electric undercurrent that neither of you acknowledged but both clearly felt. Toji’s laid-back demeanor only heightened the tension, making it hard to look away from him.

Before you could respond, the conversation around the table picked up, a few people asking you about the clubs you’d been considering. You answered politely, but your thoughts kept drifting back to Toji, who remained seated comfortably beside you, like he had no intention of leaving anytime soon.

As the evening wore on, you found yourself more and more aware of his presence—the way he occasionally leaned in to comment on something, his quiet observations that made you laugh, the subtle glances he threw your way. There was an ease to his company that surprised you, like you’d known him longer than just this fleeting encounter.

Eventually, the mixer began winding down, and people started to gather their things, heading out in groups or saying goodbyes. Toji stretched lazily beside you, his smirk still lingering.

“So, have you made up your mind yet?” he asked, glancing at the fliers one last time.

You held them up, looking between him and the colorful pages. “Maybe I’ll just join the one you do.”

Toji raised an eyebrow, clearly amused. “Now you’re the one following me?”

You shrugged, playing it off, but there was a spark of genuine interest behind your words. “Maybe I just want to see what happens.”

For a second, he looked at you like he was trying to figure you out, then his smirk softened into something more thoughtful. “Guess we’ll both find out, then…doll.” he said, standing up and offering you a hand.

You took it, feeling the warmth of his grip, and as you stood beside him, the energy between you shifted slightly. It wasn’t just playful teasing anymore—there was something real in the air, an unspoken understanding that this chance encounter might be the start of something neither of you had planned.

You stood there for a moment, hand still in his, feeling the weight of the moment linger between you both. Toji's grip was warm, firm but casual, and even as he let go, the imprint of that brief touch stayed with you. He glanced around the room, as if assessing how much time was left before the evening fully wrapped up, then turned back to you with a raised eyebrow.

“So…..” he said, slipping his hands into his pockets. “Since you’re so indecisive about clubs, maybe we should keep in touch. In case you need more advice.”

You caught the playful glint in his eye, but there was an undercurrent of something genuine there too. Without really thinking it through, you reached for your phone. “Yeah, advice. That’s what I need, hm?” you joked, handing him your phone with a smirk.

Toji took it without hesitation, his fingers moving quickly as he typed in his number. He handed it back to you, and you glanced down to see his contact saved simply as Toji. No last name, just that. There was something almost intimate about the simplicity of it. He shot you a lopsided grin.

“Now you can bug me about which club to join, doll.” he teased, but his tone was soft, almost like he was saying more than his words let on.

You saved your number in his phone in return, noticing how natural it felt to exchange numbers with him, like this wasn’t the first time you’d done this. Maybe it was the easy way he carried himself, or the way his smirk softened when he looked at you, but it felt… effortless. You weren’t sure what that meant yet, but you liked it.

As you handed back his phone, you found yourself lingering, caught in the moment between what this was and what it could become. “I’ll hold you to that, you know. The advice.” you said lightly, breaking the tension but not quite dispelling it. Your gaze lingered towards him for a little too long. “You better answer, okay?”

Toji chuckled, his eyes glancing over your face like he was committing it to memory. “Why wouldn’t I?” he snickers back at you. “That means I’ll be hearing from you soon.”

The way he said it wasn’t a question—it was a certainty. Something about the confidence in his words sent a ripple through you. You nodded, feeling a smile tug at your lips as you tried to play it cool. “Maybe sooner than you think.”

He laughed quietly, clearly enjoying this little back-and-forth. “I’ll keep my phone close, then.”

Just as the room started to clear out, Toji took a small step closer, his voice lowering slightly. “See you around… and don’t overthink it. I’ve got a feeling you’re not as indecisive as you make yourself out to be.”

There was something almost intimate in the way he said it, like he saw through your front and into something deeper. Before you could reply, Toji gave you one last smirk, a teasing glance, then turned and walked toward the door, disappearing into the flow of people heading out.

You stood there for a moment, watching him go, your phone still in hand, his number glowing on the screen. The mixer’s noise buzzed in the background, but your mind was elsewhere, still caught on the feeling of that exchange—light and playful on the surface, but weighted with possibility underneath.

As you finally made your way to the exit, you found yourself thinking back on his words, the certainty in them. Maybe you weren’t as undecided as you thought. Or maybe Toji was the push you didn’t realize you needed.

Later, as you stepped into the cool evening air, your phone buzzed in your hand. A message flashed on the screen.

Toji: Already overthinking things?

You smiled to yourself, feeling the warmth of anticipation in your chest. Maybe this was the start of something, after all.

EVERYTHING QUICKLY STARTED FROM THERE. From that night, your friendship with Zenin Toji developed naturally, like you’d always known each other. You quickly fell into a rhythm of hanging out at various club events together, even though Zenin Toji never quite settled on joining any one group.

He showed up with his usual laid-back grin, fliers still folded in his pocket, but it didn’t matter. The bond you formed over your shared indecision—and the string of free dinners at the events—was enough to keep you together. It was easy, lighthearted, the way you could sit with him at these gatherings and slip into conversation like you were old friends.

Toji was an engineering major, which surprised you at first, given his carefree attitude and lack of outward focus. He rarely talked about school, yet somehow, you could picture him excelling in that structured world of machines, calculations, and practical problems. In contrast, you were a classical music major, your world filled with compositions, performances, and delicate precision. It seemed like a strange match on the surface, but somehow, the two of you worked.

The more time you spent together, the more you realized that Toji had a knack for grounding you in ways you didn’t expect. When you’d get lost in your head, agonizing over pieces of music or second-guessing your choices, Toji had a way of cutting through the noise with his straightforward advice. “Don’t think so hard, doll.” he’d say, almost like it was the simplest thing in the world. And sometimes, it was.

Weeks turned into months, and your connection with him deepened. You found yourself spending more time outside of the club events, drawn together by your shared love for adventure. It became almost a tradition between the two of you.

The spontaneous outings where neither of you planned ahead, just picking up and going somewhere on a whim. Toji had this effortless energy about him that made you want to say yes to everything, even things you wouldn’t normally do. There was something freeing about being around him, like he gave you permission to let go of the structure you were so used to.

One of his favorite places to take you was the sea. You weren’t sure how it had come up the first time, but maybe during a casual conversation, or maybe you had mentioned it while reminiscing about the littlest of things, from your childhood memories to what shape of the cloud you think you see.

But once Toji knew you had a deep connection to the ocean, he made a point of driving you there whenever he could. There was a stretch of coastline a couple of hours away, not too far but far enough to feel like an escape from the routine of classes and rehearsals.

The first time he took you, you had been stressed over an upcoming recital, feeling the weight of expectation pressing down on you. Toji had sensed it, of course, and in his usual no-nonsense way, he simply said, “Let’s go.”

The drive was quiet at first, filled with the sound of the engine and the open road. But as the scenery changed from city streets to winding coastal roads, you felt yourself relax, your worries melting away in the face of the endless horizon. When you finally arrived, the sea stretched out before you like an open invitation, the salty air filling your lungs and the rhythmic crashing of the waves soothing something deep inside you.

It was on that shore that you realized how much Toji meant to you. He didn’t say much, didn’t need to. He just stood there beside you, hands in his pockets, letting you have the space to breathe. His presence was steady, grounding, like the ocean itself—a constant in your life that you hadn’t known you needed.

Over the months, those trips became your refuge. Whenever things get overwhelming; whether it was school, life, or the inevitable chaos that comes with growing up—Toji would drop whatever he was doing at the time and drive you to the sea. You’d spend hours walking along the beach, talking about everything and nothing.

Sometimes you’d sit in silence, both of you content just to be there, feeling the wind on your faces and the cool sand beneath your feet. It was sometimes better, enjoying each other’s company. Other times, you’d talk late into the night, sharing stories from your childhoods, dreams for the future, and even the occasional fear that lingered in the back of your mind.

For Toji, the sea seemed to bring out a different side of him—a quieter, more reflective side. It was during these trips that he’d let his guard down, offering glimpses into his life beyond the cool, carefree persona he usually wore.

You learned that he’d grown up near the ocean, that it had been his escape as a kid, a place where he could forget the troubles waiting for him at home. He never went into too much detail, but you could hear it in his voice—the weight of something unspoken, a part of him that he wasn’t quite ready to share yet.

For you, the sea was a place of peace. It reminded you of childhood summers spent by the shore, of simpler times when the only thing that mattered was the sound of the waves and the feeling of sand between your toes. Being there with Toji brought back that sense of calm, of being anchored in the present, and you found yourself growing more and more attached to those moments together.

Your friendship was effortless, but there was something else growing between you, something that neither of you had acknowledged out loud yet. It lingered in the spaces between your conversations, in the way Toji would glance at you when you weren’t looking, or the way your heart would skip a beat when his hand brushed against yours as you walked along the shore. It wasn’t just friendship anymore—it was something deeper, something that made your time together feel heavier, more significant.

But for now, you didn’t push it. You let things unfold as they would, trusting that whatever was happening between you and Toji would make itself known in time. And until then, you were content to keep taking those spontaneous trips to the sea, finding peace in each other’s company, knowing that somehow, no matter where you were, you always found your way back to him.

The sun hung low in the sky, casting a golden glow over the water as you and Toji waded into the sea. The cool waves lapped at your ankles, sending shivers up your spine as you walked further in, side by side. The gentle roar of the ocean filled the space between you, and for a while, neither of you spoke, simply enjoying the serenity of the moment.

The sea had become your shared escape, a place where words weren’t always needed but somehow always found their way into the quiet moments. Toji was waist-deep now, his eyes fixed on the horizon, that familiar smirk playing on his lips.

“You always get this serious when we’re out here, you know?” you said, splashing a bit of water in his direction, hoping to break the quiet spell. “What are you thinking about?”

He glanced over at you, dodging the splash with ease. “The ocean does that to me, doll.” he admitted. “Makes you feel small, doesn’t it?”

You nodded, understanding what he meant. “Yeah, but in a good way. Like nothing else matters out here.”

Toji tilted his head slightly, considering your words. His usual laid-back attitude softened, replaced by that contemplative side he only seemed to show when you were near the water. “Maybe that’s why I keep bringing you here, doll.” he said, his voice quieter now, almost drowned out by the sound of the waves. “Keeps things simple.”

You smiled, feeling a warmth spread through your chest that had nothing to do with the sun’s fading rays. “You do like things simple, don’t you?”

Toji gave a half-shrug, the corner of his mouth quivering. “Not everything, doll. I thought you knew that.”

There was a pause, and his words hung in the air between you. The two of you had been dancing around something for months now, that unspoken connection that neither of you had fully acknowledged. The tension between friendship and something more had always been there, simmering beneath the surface like the waves that rolled in at your feet.

“Okay, then, Toji….” you teased lightly, hoping to ease the heaviness of the moment. “What’s the most complicated thing in your life right now?”

He laughed softly, the sound mixing with the crash of the water. “You asking me that, here of all places, doll.” he said, shaking his head as if you had walked right into some unspoken truth.

You blinked, suddenly unsure of what to say. “What do you mean?”

Toji met your gaze, the teasing spark in his blue–green eyes replaced by something more serious, more real. His voice was low when he spoke, just loud enough for you to hear over the ocean. “You, probably.”

Your breath caught for a moment, the weight of his words sinking in. He wasn’t joking, not this time. There was no playful smirk, no light teasing. He was being honest in that way only Toji could be—blunt, to the point, but with a tenderness you weren’t used to seeing from him.

You swallowed, suddenly feeling the depth of the water around you, the way it mirrored the depth of what was happening between you two. “I didn’t think I was that complicated.” you managed to say, your voice soft but laced with a nervous laugh.

Toji took a step closer, the water swirling around his waist, but the space between you felt even more significant. “You’re not. You never have been.” he said. “But what I feel for you? That’s the complicated part.”

His words sent a jolt through you, and your heart started pounding in your chest. The two of you had spent months building this connection, this unspoken bond, and now—here, in the middle of the sea, surrounded by nothing but water and the fading light of the evening—he was finally saying it out loud.

“I wasn’t sure in the beginning, doll.” Toji continued, his voice still low, careful, like he was treading new ground. “At first, I thought it was just us hanging out, being friends. But then… I don’t know. The more time I spent with you, the harder it got to keep things simple. And it all just….it just stopped becoming clear.”

You felt the pull between you growing stronger, the unspoken tension finally surfacing. It had been there all along, in the way he looked at you when he thought you weren’t watching, in the way his casual touches lingered just a little too long. You could feel your heart beating out your chest, your eyes tense as you looked at him.

“Toji….” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. “I feel it too.”

He didn’t say anything right away, but the relief that washed over his face was unmistakable. It was as though the tension disappeared as his shoulders dropped. The waves lapped gently at your legs, the soft push and pull mirroring the emotions between you. Toji stepped even closer, so close now that you could feel the warmth of his presence despite the cool water surrounding you both.

“I don’t do complicated things, doll.” he said, his bright beautiful eyes locking onto yours.“but I’m willing to try if it’s with you.”

The vulnerability in his words hit you like a wave. Toji, the man who seemed so laid-back and sure of himself, was standing here, opening up in a way you hadn’t expected. He was offering you something real, something he didn’t give easily.

You reached out, letting your hand find his beneath the water, your fingers intertwining with his. “I don’t need simple.” you said, smiling softly. “Well, not without you. I just…. need you.”

For a moment, the world seemed to fall away, the only sound the steady crash of the waves, the only feeling the warmth of his hand in yours. Toji’s gaze softened, and in that moment, it felt like something between you had finally clicked into place. Something unspoken, something that had always been there, was now laid bare between you.

He smiled then, that familiar, easy grin, but this time, it was softer, more genuine. “Guess that settles it, huh?”

You laughed, feeling the tension finally break, replaced by a sense of peace that only the sea and Toji—could give you. “Yeah, I guess it does.”

And as the two of you stood there, hand in hand, the sun setting behind you, the waves rolling gently at your feet, it felt like the beginning of something new—something neither of you could predict but both of you were ready to dive into together.

IT WAS LIKE FLOATING IN THE CLOUDS, EVERYTHING AFTER THAT. After that day at the sea, things between you and Toji shifted into something deeper. You started dating officially, but it wasn’t much different from before, just more intentional. You went everywhere together—spontaneous weekend trips, late-night diner runs, quiet evenings at your place with takeout and music playing in the background.

He made you laugh like no one else could, and you found yourself feeling lighter in his presence. No one could make you feel this happy. Not anyone. Just your Toji. After that day at the sea, everything changed between you and Toji, but in the most natural way.

The shift wasn’t abrupt—it was like everything you both had been dancing around finally clicked into place. You were officially together now, but it didn’t feel that different from before, except for the fact that everything seemed more deliberate, more real.

Dating Toji was a blend of excitement and comfort. You found yourselves constantly making spontaneous decisions, from late-night drives to nowhere, to impromptu weekend getaways. He had this knack for making every moment feel like an adventure, even if all you were doing was stopping by a hole-in-the-wall diner at 2 AM for greasy burgers and fries. Somehow, the world felt bigger with him, like there was always something new to discover as long as he was by your side.

The quiet moments became just as meaningful. You’d sit together at your apartment, the dim glow of the city outside your windows, takeout containers spread across the coffee table as some old-school vinyl hummed softly in the background. Toji wasn’t one for endless conversation, but when he did speak, it was either to crack a joke that left you laughing uncontrollably or to say something so unexpectedly sincere that it left you speechless.

And the way he looked at you, with those sharp eyes softened just for you, made your heart race in a way no one else ever could. He had this rough exterior, intimidating to most, but with you, he was different—gentler in a way that seemed reserved for you alone. There were times when he’d pull you close without a word, his arms wrapped around you, as if to remind you that he wasn’t going anywhere, that you were his, and he was yours.

You never realized how easy happiness could feel until him. Sure, life had its ups and downs, but with Toji, the weight of the world seemed lighter. He made you laugh like no one else ever could, often in the simplest, silliest ways. Whether it was his dry humor or those stupid pranks he'd pull just to see you roll your eyes—everything about him had the power to brighten your day.

And then there were the quieter realizations, the ones that snuck up on you when you least expected it. Like when you’d catch him glancing at you from across the room, and there was something so tender in his gaze that it almost took your breath away. Or when he’d grab your hand in a crowded place, lacing his fingers through yours as if it were second nature, making you feel like the safest person in the world.

The truth was, no one made you feel the way Toji did. He wasn’t perfect—far from it—but neither were you, and that was what made it work. There was no pretense with him, no need to hide or hold back. He saw you for who you were, accepted you, and made you feel like you were more than enough. In his presence, you felt lighter, freer, like everything was easier when you were together.

No one else could do that. Not anyone. Just your Toji.

He was your person, your unexpected joy, and as things deepened between you, you realized that he had become so much more than just a part of your life. He was your home.

He was at your place again after finals. It was like a magnetic pull; he couldn’t stay away from you, even after the grueling physical test that left him spent and drenched in sweat. Yet, here he was—unbothered by his disheveled state. His body craved yours, and you could sense that same hunger in yourself. You had been waiting, yearning to close the distance, to touch him, taste him—everything.

As your boyfriend’s hand tenderly wrapped around your wrist, he tried with all his might to stop you. He had that surprised look on his face, almost as though he’d been caught off guard. You could feel your boyfriend's grip firm but almost too careful, almost too cautious. You looked at him with those bright doe eyes.

“Doll, what are you doing? I’m supposed to be the one to go down on you—”

You didn’t let him finish at all, leaning towards him and kissing him passionately. You smiled against the way he kissed you back, his palm touching your cheek as the gravitational pull drew you both closer, deeper and deeper into the kiss. You parted your lips from him and took a moment to pull his hand away from your wrist. It was strong but tenderly gentle. You shove it away. You slowly knelt in front of him.

“Let me do this first. Please.”

Toji could feel his breath hitch deeply. All he could feel at that moment was the way his knees trembled. He was sure that he was feeling it. It was too obvious. Everything about this was giving away the struggle between resistance and desire.

“Here? In your kitchen, doll?” His voice cracked slightly, weary hesitance betrayed by the heat that cut through the reverberation of words. His blue–green eyes darted down to where you were, your hardened resolve so clear, and then back to him with a wanton glance at the sweat on his bright tan skin. “You can’t be serious, I have to cook our dinner now—”

“Please. Now.”

“Now?” Toji's question was more like a whisper, a mix of confusion and longing. It was as though he wasn’t sure if he should stop you or let you take him, right there, without a second thought. It was as though he was having a hard time figuring it out. “I can’t…I can’t just have you do this in the kitchen. It’s not even clean….”

His body told you all you needed to know. He wanted this as much as you did. You didn't answer him with words. Instead, you held his gaze, your intensity silencing the doubt that lingered in his eyes. Slowly, deliberately, your fingers trailed along his thigh, firm but teasing. His breath hitched again, sharper this time, and his hand flexed at his side as if unsure whether to stop you or let you take full control.

"Just let me, baby. Please, Toji." you whispered, your voice low and thick with need. It was a command, but more than that, a plea. You needed this—needed him.

His eyes fluttered shut for a moment, and you watched his resolve melt away. His chest rose and fell unevenly, each breath ragged, as though he was on the edge of a precipice, uncertain whether to fall or hold back. But when his hand, the one he'd tried to use to still you earlier, moved to your head, fingers tangling softly in your hair, you knew his decision.

"You’re—" He tried to speak, but the words failed him. Whatever argument or hesitation he had left was swallowed by the way his body responded to your touch. The tension in him snapped like a taut string, and all that remained was the heat between you.

You leaned closer, lips ghosting over his skin, the salt of his sweat mixing with the warmth radiating from him. Every inch of him felt alive under your hands, and you could feel his pulse racing, mirroring your own urgency.

His grip in your hair tightened ever so slightly, and the sound that escaped him was one of surrender. "Fine…fine." he breathed out, a soft growl that sent a shiver down your spine. "Whatever you want… just—"

His words faltered again, but it didn’t matter. You knew exactly what he meant. Your fingers slid down his abdomen, feeling the tension ripple beneath his skin as you lowered yourself further. His muscles twitch involuntarily under your touch, betraying his anticipation despite his earlier hesitation. You could hear his breath hitch again, faster this time, his hand still tangled in your hair, half-pulling, half-guiding you as though he couldn’t decide whether to hold back or let go.

You knew, though. He wanted this as badly as you did, even if his mind had yet to catch up to his body’s desires.

You pressed a kiss just above the waistband of his pants, slow and deliberate, feeling him tense beneath your lips. His hips jerked slightly, a reaction he couldn’t contain, and you smiled to yourself at the effect you were having on him. Your fingers toyed with the waistband, teasing him, drawing out the moment just a bit longer.

“Stop teasing…” he muttered, voice breathless and strained. His grip in your hair tightened for emphasis, but it lacked the conviction to pull you away. He was already lost in this, even if he tried to pretend otherwise.

You finally obliged, tugging down his pants, the fabric sliding against his skin, revealing him fully. His body shuddered at the sudden exposure, and a soft, involuntary groan escaped his lips as the cool air met his flushed skin.

You didn’t waste time after that, leaning in with purpose, your tongue flicking out to taste him. The groan that followed was deeper, rawer, his hand now gripping your hair tightly, holding on as if it was the only thing keeping him grounded. His legs trembled beneath your touch, and his breath came in ragged gasps as you moved, your mouth working him over with a slow, deliberate pace.

Every sound that escaped him, every twitch of his body, spurred you on, and you could feel him losing control. His hips buckled forward, desperate for more, and his other hand clutched the edge of the sofa behind him, knuckling white from the strain.

“Fuck.” he breathed, voice hoarse and barely audible, his entire body tense with the pleasure building inside him. “Don’t stop… just like that…”

You could feel him unraveling, every touch, every flick of your tongue driving him closer to the edge. And you were glad for it. You were giving it to him. You were the cause of his pleasure. His breath came in short, sharp gasps, and his body trembled under your ministrations.

He was close, and you knew it, but you kept going, pushing him further, not giving him a moment to recover or catch his breath. His head fell back, his chest heaving as he surrendered completely to the sensations coursing through him.

And then, with a final, ragged groan, he came undone beneath you, his entire body tensing as waves of pleasure crashed over him. His grip on your hair loosened, and he slumped back against the sofa, utterly spent, chest rising and falling heavily.

You pulled back slowly, watching as he tried to catch his breath, his eyes half-lidded, glazed over with satisfaction. His hand slid weakly from your hair, his body still trembling in the aftershocks of his release.

For a moment, neither of you spoke, the room filled only with the sound of his heavy breathing. Then, finally, he let out a soft chuckle, shaking his head as though in disbelief at what had just happened.

“God.” he muttered, running a hand through his hair. “You really don’t play fair, do you?”

You smiled, wiping your lips as you leaned back on your heels. “I told you to let me do this.”

He laughed again, softer this time, eyes meeting yours with a mix of exhaustion and adoration. “Yeah, doll.” he whispered, voice still breathless. “You did.”

As the air settled between you, his breathing evened out, and he leaned forward. Before you could react, Toji’s strong hand cupped your face, pulling you in for a strong, passionate kiss. It was sudden, raw, his lips crashing into yours with the kind of intensity that took your breath away.

His mouth was warm and demanding, and the taste of his. It was making him feel hotter. And it made you hotter that the taste of his juice was being shared between the two of you. It was too good, the heat, salty taste and something uniquely his—flooded your senses.

You felt a shiver race down your spine as his tongue brushed against your lips, coaxing them apart. Without thinking, you melted into him, letting him take the lead. The way his hand moved from your face to your neck, fingers pressing just enough to make you feel his power, sent your mind spinning. He didn’t give you time to catch your breath, the kiss growing more fervent with each passing second.

When he finally pulled back, both of you gasping for air, his dark, sharp eyes locked onto yours. A smirk curled at the corner of his mouth, and there was something dangerous in his expression—something that made your heart race faster than before.

“My turn, doll.” Toji rasped, voice low and gravelly, dripping with intent. His thumb traced your bottom lip, as though marking the spot where his mouth had just been. "You didn’t think I’d just let you have all the fun, did you?"

Before you could respond, his hands were on you, rough but purposeful, guiding you up and onto the couch. His grip was firm as he pressed you down, positioning himself between your legs, eyes dark with hunger. He wasted no time—there was no hesitation in his movements, only a primal desire to return everything you’d given him moments ago.

Toji’s lips found your neck, trailing hot kisses down to your collarbone. Each kiss, each brush of his lips against your skin sent electric jolts through your body, heightening your senses. He was taking his time now, savoring each second as he moved lower, his breath hot against your chest.

He paused briefly, looking up at you, that same wicked smile playing on his lips. "Relax. You’re gonna want to enjoy this."

With that, he moved lower, and your breath caught in your throat as his mouth descended. The sensation was immediate, overwhelming. His tongue was slow and deliberate, moving with the kind of precision that had you gripping the edge of the couch within seconds. Your back arched involuntarily, and a soft moan escaped your lips before you could stop it.

"That’s it." he murmured, the vibrations of his voice against your skin making you tremble. "Let me take care of you."

Toji’s pace was unhurried, savoring the way your body responded to him, but there was a ferocity behind his touch that let you know he wasn’t going to stop until you were completely undone. His hands gripped your thighs, keeping you exactly where he wanted you, his strength evident in every subtle movement.

Each flick of his tongue, each stroke of his lips sent you spiraling, and soon you were lost in the sensation. Your hands found his hair, fingers gripping tightly as you struggled to stay grounded, but it was impossible. Toji was relentless, expertly pushing you further and further, until you were right on the edge, your entire body trembling under his touch.

"Toji," you gasped, your voice breaking as the pleasure built to an almost unbearable intensity. "I—"

But he didn’t let you finish. Instead, he quickened his pace, his grip on your thighs tightening as he pushed you over that edge. The sensation hit you like a tidal wave, your body shuddering as the pleasure washed over you, leaving you breathless and shaking beneath him.

For a moment, the world went hazy. All you could hear was your own heartbeat, loud and fast in your ears, and the sound of Toji’s deep, steady breathing as he slowly pulled away.

When your vision cleared, he was leaning over you, eyes filled with satisfaction. His lips curled into a familiar smirk as he wiped his mouth, clearly proud of the way he had left you undone. "Told you it was my turn." he teased, his voice smug, but the warmth in his gaze softened the edge.

You couldn’t help but laugh, still trying to catch your breath. "Yeah," you managed to say, voice hoarse. "I think you made your point."

Toji leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to your lips, this time slower, more intimate. "Good." he whispered against your mouth. "Because I’m not done with you yet."

EVERYTHING ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP, IT WASN’T PERFECT. And you always knew that, even in the best of moments. There were times when Zenin Toji’s recklessness frustrated you or when his silence left too much unsaid. But none of that ever seemed to matter in the grand scheme of things.

What mattered was that it was real, and despite the flaws, both of you were genuinely happy. Toji had a way of making life feel effortless, as though the weight of the world didn’t matter when you were with him. His presence made everything feel simple, even when it wasn’t.

For a while, you let yourself believe in that simplicity. You believed that the two of you could live in this uncomplicated, happy bubble forever, like nothing could shake the foundation you’d built together. Every laugh, every stolen glance, every spontaneous trip made it easy to forget about the uncertainties that loomed in the background. With Toji, life felt lighter, almost as if the two of you existed in a world separate from everyone else’s struggles and complications.

But then something shifted. It was subtle at first, a creeping unease you couldn’t quite place. Until one day, your world came crashing into focus. You found out you were pregnant.

The moment the test came back positive, the air seemed to leave the room. You sat in the bathroom, staring at the two lines on the test, your mind racing but stuck at the same time. Hours seemed to pass, or maybe just minutes. Time had no meaning at that moment. All you could focus on was the weight of the news in your hands and the way everything suddenly felt heavier, more real, more terrifying than you’d ever imagined.

How could this have happened? Sure, you and Toji had been careless at times, but it never seemed like a real possibility….until now. And now, you were faced with a reality you hadn’t prepared for, a future that felt overwhelmingly uncertain.

You were scared. Not just for yourself, but for Toji too. You had no idea how he’d react, and that terrified you even more. He wasn’t exactly the kind of guy who liked to plan or think too far ahead. He thrived on spontaneity, on living in the moment, and the idea of something as permanent and life-altering as a baby… you weren’t sure how he’d handle it.

Would he be angry? Dismissive? Or worse—indifferent?

The thought of having that conversation made you feel physically ill. You had played out the scenario a hundred times in your head. Maybe he’d shrug it off like it was no big deal, or maybe he’d walk out without a second thought. Or maybe he’d surprise you, like he had so many times before, and show a side of himself you hadn’t expected. The uncertainty gnawed at you, filling your chest with a kind of dread you hadn’t experienced before.

You spent the next few days trying to find the right moment, the right words, but nothing ever seemed good enough. Each time you looked at him, your throat tightened. He’d catch your gaze, and you’d quickly look away, afraid that he’d somehow see the truth written all over your face before you were ready to say it out loud.

But it was inevitable. You couldn’t hide it forever, and sooner or later, you’d have to face what this meant for both of you. Would it change everything? Could your relationship survive something so monumental? You didn’t know. The only thing you knew for sure was that your world had already shifted, and there was no going back.

That evening, when he came over to your apartment, you were sitting on the couch, your hands clasped together, trying to gather the courage to tell him. Toji sat beside you, noticing your tense posture immediately.

“What’s going on?” he asked, his eyes narrowing slightly in concern.

You took a deep breath, your heart racing in your chest. “Toji, I need to tell you something.”

His expression shifted, becoming more serious. “Okay. What’s up?”

“I’m pregnant.” The words fell from your lips like stones, sinking into the quiet space between you. You watched his face closely, trying to read his reaction, but it was hard to tell what he was feeling at first. He blinked, his mouth slightly open, as though trying to process the information.

For a long moment, he didn’t say anything. He just stared at you, his mind working behind his eyes. You could see the shock there, the confusion, the disbelief. His silence made your heart pound even harder.

“Toji?” you prompted, your voice barely above a whisper.

He finally exhaled, running a hand through his hair. “Are you… sure?”

“Yeah. Of course I am.” you nodded, your throat tightening. “I took a test.”

Another silence stretched between you, the weight of the situation settling in the room. Toji leaned back slightly, his face unreadable as he stared at the floor, his brows furrowed in thought. It wasn’t anger, but it wasn’t joy either. It was something heavier, something more complicated.

“I—” he started, then stopped, shaking his head. “I don’t know what to say.”

The pit in your stomach deepened. You had known this would be hard, but seeing him so stunned, so lost, was more painful than you had anticipated.

“Toji, listen…. I just… I already planned this out and I thought about it.” you said, trying to keep your voice steady. “I don’t want to make this hard on you.”

He looked up at you then, his eyes sharp, questioning.

“What are you saying?” he asked, his voice low.

You took another breath, already feeling the tears welling up behind your eyes. “I’ve been thinking about it. Calmly. And…honestly.… I’ve decided I’m going to get an abortion.”

His blue–green eyes widened slightly, and for the first time since you’d told him, you saw a flicker of something raw, something close to fear in his expression.

“An abortion?” he repeated, his voice sounding hollow.

“Yeah, I am.” you nodded, trying to stay composed. “I don’t think we’re ready for this, Toji. I don’t want to complicate your life any more than it needs to be. With your family being rough and everything, I just…I don’t want this to add to your life. And I don’t want it to be harder on us, I mean we’re in college with nothing.”

He was quiet for a long moment, but the tension in his body was palpable. He was thinking, processing, trying to make sense of everything. When he finally spoke again, his voice was firm, but there was something broken underneath it.

“Are you… doing this for me?” he asked, his jaw clenched. “Because if you are, don’t.”

You blinked, startled by the sudden force in his words. “Toji, listen… I’m just trying to make it easier for you—”

“No, no.” he interrupted, shaking his head. “Don’t make that decision because of me. If you don’t want this, fine. But don’t do it because you think I can’t handle it.”

You swallowed hard, your heart pounding as the conversation turned heavier than you had anticipated. Toji had never been the type to be openly vulnerable, but there was something in his eyes now, something deeper than shock. It was fear. Not of the pregnancy itself, but of you taking that choice away from him.

“I’m not. I promise, I’m…” you said quietly, your voice trembling. “It’s not just about you, Toji. It’s about me too. We’re not ready for this—”

“And what if we are?” he cut you off again, his voice strained. “What if we could be?”

You shook your head, tears finally slipping from your eyes. “It’s too much. We’re not even finished with school. I don’t want to mess up your life.”

Toji reached out, his hand gripping your arm, not hard, but firm enough to make you stop. “You think this would mess up my life?” he asked, his eyes searching for yours. “What about yours?”

The question hit you hard. You had been so focused on how Toji would react, on how this would change his future, that you hadn’t fully considered what this meant for you. It wasn’t just his life that would change—it was yours too. And the truth was, you were terrified of that change.

“I don’t know what to do.” you whispered, finally letting the fear show in your voice.

Toji’s expression softened, and for the first time since the conversation started, he pulled you into his arms. His grip was strong, steady, like he was trying to anchor you in the chaos of your own emotions.

“We don’t have to decide everything right now, doll.” he said softly, his voice close to your ear. “But don’t do this just because you think it’s the right thing for me.”

You closed your eyes, resting your head against his chest, letting the weight of his words sink in. You didn’t know what the future held, or what the right decision was. All you knew was that, for the first time in a long while, you weren’t facing this alone.

IT WAS A FEW WEEKS LATER. Zenin Toji sat in the crowded cafeteria, only half-aware of the conversation around him. The buzz of his classmates discussing internships, upcoming exams, and their futures faded into the background as he absentmindedly poked at his food.

His thoughts were elsewhere, drifting between the monotony of the day and the feeling that something wasn’t quite right. It had been a few days since he last saw you, but with finals and the usual chaos of student life, it wasn’t unusual. He figured you were busy, like everyone else.

But then a group of your friends approached. Their faces were drawn with concern, their eyes darting nervously around the room as they stopped in front of him. Toji barely registered their presence at first, his mind still elsewhere, until one of them spoke up.

“Toji, hey.” her voice was soft but edged with worry. “Have you seen her?”

He frowned, snapping back to the present. “What are you talking about? Who?”

“Her. You know…” she repeated, her words hitting a little harder this time. “Your girlfriend. She’s not in her dorm, and we haven’t seen her around campus. She dropped out, Toji. The professors said she withdrew from all her classes.”

The fork in his hand froze mid-air, his breath hitching as the words landed with a gut-wrenching thud. Dropped out? You? No. That couldn’t be right. You hadn’t mentioned anything about dropping out or even considering it. The last time you spoke, everything seemed normal—at least as normal as it had been lately. But this? It didn’t make sense. It wasn’t like you to just disappear, especially not without saying anything to him.

Toji’s chest tightened, panic swelling beneath the surface, though he tried to mask it with his usual composed demeanor. “What?” he asked, his voice sharper than intended, laced with disbelief. “What do you mean she dropped out?”

“I don’t know..” one of your friends replied, her own uncertainty mirroring his. “She’s just… gone. We checked everywhere—her dorm, the library, even the places she liked to hang out. She’s not answering her phone. And when we talked to the professors, they confirmed it. She withdrew from all her classes yesterday.”

His heart pounded in his chest, a sinking feeling spreading through him. Gone. The word echoed in his mind, heavy and suffocating. None of this made any sense. He thought back to the last few times you were together, searching for any clue, any sign that you were planning something like this. But nothing stood out. You had been a little distant lately, maybe, but you always brushed it off as stress from school.

The thought of you leaving without saying a word, of just vanishing from his life like that, was like a punch to the gut. Toji wasn’t used to feeling powerless, but right now, that’s exactly what he felt. He had no control, no idea what was going on, and the uncertainty of it all gnawed at him like a vicious storm.

“Did she… did she say anything to any of you?” he asked, his voice rougher now, desperate for some kind of explanation. “Anything about why she’d do this?”

Your friends exchanged uncertain glances, but none of them had answers. One of them finally spoke, shaking her head. “No, she didn’t say anything. She’s been quiet lately, but we didn’t think she was planning to leave like this.”

Quiet. Distant. It all started to add up, piece by piece. You had been pulling away, hadn’t you? It was subtle, barely noticeable at first, but now, in hindsight, it seemed so clear. Toji’s mind raced with possibilities—was this about the pregnancy?

Did you feel like you couldn’t tell him? Did you think he wouldn’t want this? His stomach twisted at the thought. He wasn’t the best at dealing with emotions, but if you had come to him, if you had just told him… he would’ve figured it out with you.

He pushed away from the table, standing up abruptly, his heart racing. “I’m going to find her.”

“Toji—” one of your friends began, but he was already moving, his mind set. He had to find you, had to understand what had driven you to this decision. Whatever was going on, he needed answers—needed to hear it from you.

Because the idea of losing you, of you walking out of his life without even a word, was something he wasn’t prepared to face.

Without a second thought, Toji pushed his chair back, standing up abruptly. His classmates glanced at him, startled, but he barely registered their reactions. His phone was already in his hand, and he started dialing your number as he made his way out of the cafeteria, his steps quick and purposeful.

The ringing on the other end felt like it lasted forever. His heart pounded harder with each unanswered ring, his mind racing with questions. Why hadn’t you told him? Why had you left?

Finally, you picked up.

“Toji.” you said quietly, your voice strained, almost like you had been expecting this call but had dreaded answering it.

“Where the hell are you?” he asked, trying and failing to keep the frustration and panic out of his voice. “Your friends came up to me. They said you dropped out. What’s going on?”

There was a pause, a heavy silence on the other end, before you finally answered.

“I left.” you said softly.

“What do you mean you left?” His voice was sharper now, disbelief and anger mixing together. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I couldn’t.” you replied, your tone distant, guarded.

“Couldn’t?” Toji repeated, his frustration growing. “You just decided to leave without saying anything? That’s it? That’s your explanation?”

You were quiet for a moment, and Toji could hear the sound of your breathing on the other end. His footsteps echoed in the empty hallway as he made his way toward your dorm, his pace quickening. He could feel it, something’s not right. And he didn’t like it. He didn’t like this.

“I just… I can’t do this anymore, Toji.” you finally said, your voice cracking, though you were trying hard to keep it steady.

His chest tightened at your words. “What are you talking about? Can’t do what? We’re supposed to figure this out together!”

“I don’t want to make things harder for you.” you said, your voice soft and strained. “I don’t want you to feel trapped.”

Toji stopped in his tracks, standing just outside your dorm. His hand was already on the door, but he couldn’t bring himself to knock. “Trapped?” His voice was low now, disbelief coating every word. “You think I feel trapped?”

“You deserve more than this, Toji.” you said, your tone hollow. “More than me. I can’t keep doing this to you.”

“To me?” His voice grew louder again, anger mixing with the hurt that was now undeniable. “You think leaving without a word, without even trying to talk to me about it, is making things easier? You think this is what I want?”

Another silence stretched between you, the weight of his words hanging in the air.

“I can’t do it anymore, Toji.” you repeated, your voice more final this time. “I can’t do… us.”

Toji’s hand clenched into a fist, his knuckles turning white as he leaned his head against the door, trying to hold back the surge of emotions that threatened to overwhelm him. He had never been good with feelings, never been good at expressing what was going on inside his head, but this—this was different. This was you.

“Why?” he asked, his voice raw, the hurt finally slipping through the cracks in his defenses. “Tell me why. I thought we were in this together.”

Your breath hitched on the other end of the line, and Toji knew you were trying to hold back tears. “I’m sorry.” you whispered, your voice barely audible. “But I have to do this. I’m breaking up with you, Toji.”

His stomach dropped. He had heard the words, but they didn’t feel real. Not yet. Not when you were still on the other end of the line, not when he was standing outside your door.

“Don’t do this, doll.” he said, his voice low and pleading now. “We can figure it out. Whatever it is, we can fix it. You don’t have to run.”

But you didn’t answer. The silence on the other end grew heavier, suffocating, until it became clear what you were doing.

“You’re really doing this?” Toji asked, his voice thick with disbelief. “You’re just leaving?”

“I’m sorry, Toji.” you whispered again, and then the line went dead.

He stood there, the phone still pressed against his ear, the empty dial tone ringing in his mind. You were gone. You had left, just like that. The weight of it all hit him at once—the pregnancy, the future you both had avoided talking about, the life that had suddenly unraveled in a single moment.

For the first time in a long while, Zenin Toji felt lost.

HE BLINKED AND IT WAS THE FUTURE. Years had passed since that fateful conversation, and life had unfolded in unexpected ways for Zenin Toji. He had poured himself into his work, rising through the ranks to become a top engineer at his company. His days were filled with projects and deadlines, and while the ache of the past lingered in the back of his mind, he had learned to compartmentalize it.

He was dating someone new now, a woman who brought laughter and light into his life. They shared quiet dinners, spontaneous weekend trips, and plans for a future that felt bright and hopeful. Toji had learned to enjoy the moments, to savor the present without the weight of what could have been pulling him down.

But one afternoon, as he was wrapping up a meeting, his phone rang. The name on the screen made his stomach drop: it was one of your old friends.

He answered, his tone casual. “Hey, what’s up?”

The silence on the other end was heavy, laden with a gravity that sent a chill down his spine. “Toji… I need to talk to you. It’s about uh….her.”

The way she said your name made his heart race, an instinctual dread creeping in. “What about her?” he asked, his voice tightening. It has been years. Years since he’s heard your name. Years since that feeling of the sea wallowed its way into his heart. You. The very thought of you was spring, endless spring. “What happened?”

Another pause. “She… she passed away.”

The words hit him like a physical blow, knocking the breath from his lungs. “What?” he managed to stammer, disbelief flooding his mind. “What do you mean, passed away?”

“She had an accident. It was sudden. I’m so sorry, Toji.”

He felt the world tilt on its axis, the room around him blurring as the shock set in. “No, no, that can’t be right.” he said, shaking his head as if the motion could change the reality. “When? How?”

“We don’t have all the details about it yet.” she said softly, her voice trembling with emotion. “But I thought you should know. She had some friends over… and then it happened, after they all left. There’s suspicion that it was an accidental drug overdose, medication. Um, but we’re not sure if that’s true. Because…she’d tell us, if she was sick.”

The words began to sink in, but they felt surreal, detached from reality. How could this be happening? You had once been a part of his life, and now… now you were gone. The memories surged back—your laughter, the way your eyes lit up when you spoke about music, the softness in your voice when you told him you were leaving.

“I… I need to go.” he said, his voice shaking. “I need to be there.”

“Are you okay?” she asked, concern echoing in her tone. “Toji, breathe.”

But Toji couldn’t respond. He ended the call, the weight of what he had just heard pressing down on him like a suffocating blanket. He stared at the wall, his thoughts racing, heart pounding. Everything he had built, the life he had created, suddenly felt meaningless in the face of this loss. All shattered. Both the past, the present and future — all at once, dying.

He stood up, feeling unsteady, as if the ground beneath him had vanished. The world outside his office window looked the same, but everything felt different—bleak, muted, and empty.

Without thinking, he grabbed his jacket and left the office, his mind a whirlpool of memories and emotions. He could hardly focus on the road as he drove, the city blurring past him. All he could think about was you—what you had meant to him, the moments they shared, the unfinished conversations that hung in the air.

When he finally arrived at the location your friend sent, everything about the scene was somber, filled with familiar faces that had once been part of your life. He made his way through the gathering, his heart heavy in his chest. He saw your friends, their faces drawn with grief, and the realization hit him like a wave: you were really gone.

Zenin Toji found a quiet corner, his back pressed against a wall, as the reality settled in. The laughter and joy he had learned to embrace felt like a betrayal now. You should have been here, sharing these moments, navigating life together, just as you once had.

As he stood there, memories flooded back—moments of joy, of connection, of love. And in that instant, he understood that he would always carry a part of you with him, a lingering ache that would never truly fade.

The world moved on around him, but Toji felt frozen in place, grappling with the loss of someone who had shaped him in ways he had never acknowledged until now. And in that moment, he knew that no matter how much time passed, he would never forget you.

Toji stood at the edge of the gathering, the atmosphere heavy with sorrow and disbelief. The small chapel was filled with familiar faces, all of them grieving the loss of you, and he felt an ache deep in his chest as he took in the scene. Your family stood near the front, your mother clutching a bouquet of flowers, her eyes red and swollen from crying. Your father stood beside her, a stoic figure trying to hold it all together.

As the service progressed, Toji’s gaze wandered, and he noticed a young boy standing close to your mother. The child couldn’t have been more than five or six, his small frame almost dwarfed by the adults around him. He had dark tousled hair and bright, green – blue eyes echoing with curiosity that seemed to scan the room, searching for something—or someone.

Toji’s heart dropped as he took a closer look. The boy had a striking resemblance to him. It was subtle but unmistakable—the shape of his face, the curve of his lips, and the way he tilted his head when he looked around. The realization hit him hard, like a punch to the gut.

Just then, the boy moved toward your casket, his tiny hands reaching out to touch the smooth wood. As though he wanted to stroke your face with the warmth of a thousand suns. Toji felt a surge of instinct, wanting to protect the child from this pain, but before he could react, a white-haired man stepped in. With an air of calm authority, he gently scooped the boy into his arms, pulling him away from the somber sight.

Toji’s breath caught in his throat as he recognized the man—Gojo Satoru, a familiar figure from your past. He was your friend in college too. Protege, in the science department. He was a chief mourner today. The very presence of him felt like a ghost, both comforting and painful. He had always known Gojo Satoru to be a charismatic enigma, with his goofy smile and unserious eyes. But now his demeanor was serious, focused on the child in his arms.

“Hey, little guy.” Gojo said softly, kneeling down to the boy's level, his voice a soothing balm against the surrounding grief. “Let’s give her some space, okay?”

The boy looked up at Gojo, confusion etched on his young face. “But I want to say goodbye to my mama.” he said, his voice small and tremulous.

Toji felt his heart clench. Who was this child? Why did he look so much like him? Was he really…?

“Let’s remember her in a different way.” Gojo suggested gently, still holding the boy close. “We can share stories about how amazing she was, okay?”

The child seemed to consider this, his brows furrowing in thought. Toji felt an urge to move closer, to find out everything he could about this boy, but he was rooted to the spot, unable to tear his gaze away.

As Gojo began to lead the boy away from the casket, the child turned back one last time, his wide eyes filled with innocence and sorrow. “I miss her already. I miss my mama already.” he whispered, and Toji’s heart shattered at the sound of those words.

He watched as Gojo knelt down again, whispering something in the boy’s ear. Whatever it was, it made the child’s face light up with a fleeting smile, and for a moment, Toji felt a flicker of hope. Perhaps this boy could carry on a part of you—your spirit, your laughter, your love.

But the reality of the situation crashed over him once more. You were gone, and this child, whom he instinctively felt a connection to, was a reminder of everything that had been lost.

Toji took a step forward, the urge to reach out to the boy overwhelming him. He had to know. “Excuse me.” he said, his voice cutting through the murmur of the gathering, his eyes locked on Gojo and the boy. “Who is he?”

Gojo looked up, surprise flickering in his gaze before a knowing look settled in. “This is your son, Toji,” he said gently. “He’s her child. Your child.”

The words hung in the air like a weight, and Toji felt the ground shift beneath him. He had a son? The realization was like a tidal wave crashing over him, overwhelming and disorienting. All the moments he had missed, the life he hadn’t known he had—everything rushed to the surface, leaving him gasping for breath.

“I didn’t know….I….” he murmured, the words barely escaping his lips. “I didn’t know I had a son…”

Gojo nodded, his expression softening. “She wanted to tell you, but things got complicated. She loved you, Toji. She always did.”

The ache in Toji’s chest deepened, a mixture of regret and longing flooding through him. He wanted to reach out to the boy, to embrace him and promise to be there, to make up for all the lost time. But he felt frozen, unsure of how to bridge this sudden chasm between them.

The boy turned to look at him, his innocent eyes searching, and in that moment, Toji knew he couldn’t turn away. He took a step forward, his heart pounding, ready to face the truth of his past and embrace the future, whatever it might hold.

Toji took a deep breath, his mind racing as he processed the weight of everything Gojo had just revealed. “Who are you, exactly? To her.” he asked, his voice steadier than he felt. “Why are you here with him?”

Gojo regarded him with a measured gaze, a mix of understanding and sympathy etched across his features. “I’m Satoru Gojo, her ex.” he began, his tone calm yet heavy with unspoken history. “We had our time together, but she broke up with me to focus on raising him—Megumi.” He paused, his expression shifting slightly, as if weighing his next words. “But… I helped out when she started to suffer from her illness. We…we also worked together.”

The revelation hit Toji like a punch to the gut. It was hard to hear that you had suffered, and he couldn’t fathom how you had faced such a struggle. You have always been so vibrant, so full of life. The image of you laughing by the sea, dreaming about the future, felt so far removed from the harsh reality of illness. How could this happen? How could you be dead? The thought churned in his stomach, leaving him feeling hollow and lost.

He felt a wave of panic and disbelief. You had been taken away from your son. From Toji. It was like that again—just when he had thought he was on the cusp of something beautiful and real, everything crumbled. You had left him once more, not by choice this time, but by fate’s cruel hand.

“Why didn’t I know?” Toji’s voice was barely a whisper, laced with frustration and sorrow. “Why didn’t anyone tell me?”

Gojo’s eyes softened with empathy. “She wanted to protect you, Toji. You had a life too. She thought that by keeping her distance, she could spare you the pain. She didn’t want you to feel trapped by her son and her illness. It was incurable, all there could be was maintenance. So…she thought it would be better to leave before the damage was done.”

Trapped. The word stung. He had always wanted to be there for you, to share the burdens and the joys. “But I would have wanted to be a part of it, for bitter or worse.” he replied, his voice trembling. “I could have helped. I could have been there for both of you.”

Gojo nodded, understanding the turmoil in Toji’s heart. “She knew that, but she was scared—scared of what her illness would do to you and to Megumi. She wanted to give him a chance at a life free from that burden. It was a hard choice, but she thought it was the right one.”

The realization crashed over Toji like a wave. You had made that decision alone, believing it was the best thing for your son. And now, that choice has cost you your life. Anguish twisted inside him, and he felt a growing anger not towards you, but towards the circumstances that had taken you away.

How could it be fair? How could the universe allow such a beautiful spirit to slip away while leaving behind a child who would now grow up without knowing his mother?

Toji felt as if the air had been sucked from his lungs. The name hit him like a jolt, reverberating through him in a way he hadn’t anticipated. “Megumi.” he repeated softly, the sound wrapping around his heart like a lifeline.

It was the name you had once discussed with such warmth and hope while watching the waves crash against the shore, dreaming of what could be if you ever started a family together. The memory came flooding back—the laughter, the carefree joy of that day, and the vivid images of a future that felt so tangible then.

“Yeah, she loved that name.” Toji murmured, his voice thick with emotion. “I did too.”

He struggled to hold back tears, remembering how your eyes sparkled when you spoke about having a family, the way you imagined little Megumi running along the beach, chasing after waves with unabashed joy. That dream had felt so real, and now it felt like a cruel joke, a glimpse of what might have been.

Gojo nodded, his gaze steady. “She was a great mom, Toji. Megumi was her whole world. She did everything she could to raise him right, even when things got tough.”

The weight of those words settled heavily on Toji’s heart. “What happened to her?” he asked, his voice trembling. He needed to know; he had to understand how it had come to this.

“Heart disease.” Gojo replied, a shadow of sadness crossing his face. “Giving birth to Megumi made it worse, but she…she thinks Megumi was the best thing in her life. Her treasure in the sea, she calls him.”

Gojo’s words hung heavy in the air, the weight of them settling deep in Toji’s chest. He could feel the slow, painful collapse of his heart as the reality of the situation set in. The woman he once cared for, the mother of his son, had been struggling in silence all this time, carrying the burden of her illness alone while he lived his life, unaware. The thought gnawed at him, twisting the guilt deeper into his soul.

“She never regretted it,” Gojo continued, his voice steady but soft. “She said you had a good life. And she did too, despite everything. She wanted to make sure Megumi had the best, and she gave him all the love she could.”

Toji clenched his jaw, fighting against the flood of emotions surging inside him. Anger, sorrow, regret—it all mixed together into a tight knot in his chest. He felt sick with it, sick with the thought that while he was out there, living his life without a care, she had been suffering. And she hadn’t reached out to him. Hadn’t told him how bad things were. She’d shouldered it all on her own.

“But why didn’t she reach out to me?” Toji’s voice trembled, his words barely above a whisper. He needed to know. He needed to understand why she’d kept him in the dark. “I could’ve helped… I would’ve done something. Anything.”

Gojo’s gaze softened, sympathy shining in his eyes. “She didn’t want to burden you. That’s what she always said. You had your own life, your own path. She didn’t want you to feel tied down by everything she was going through.”

Toji’s hands clenched into fists at his sides, frustration boiling just beneath the surface. He wanted to scream, to curse the universe for being so cruel. How could she have thought he wouldn’t want to help? How could she have carried that weight alone?

Gojo sighed, rubbing the back of his neck, his expression solemn. “She never saw it as a sacrifice, Toji. In her eyes, you both lived your lives as you were meant to. She loved Megumi with everything she had, and she believed she made the right choice by not involving you. It was her way of protecting you, even if it meant doing it on her own.”

“To protect me?” Toji muttered bitterly, his chest tightening even more. The thought of her enduring so much pain while thinking she was doing it for his sake felt unbearable. “But it wasn’t just about me. I had a right to know… Megumi’s my son, too. I should’ve been there for him. For her.”

“I know,” Gojo said quietly, his tone gentle but firm. “But in her mind, this was the best way. She wanted you to live your life freely. No regrets, no guilt. And in the end, she did what she thought was best for Megumi.”

Toji’s heart ached at those words. The image of her, alone with Megumi, doing her best to raise him while struggling with an illness that had only worsened over the years—it was too much to bear. He couldn’t shake the feeling of helplessness that clung to him, the overwhelming regret of not knowing, not being there when they needed him most.

“She called him her treasure in the sea,” Gojo added softly. “He was her everything.”

Toji swallowed hard, his throat tight. “And now what?” he asked, his voice strained. “What happens to Megumi now?”

Gojo’s gaze was steady, full of understanding. “Now, it’s your turn, Toji. Megumi needs you. You might not have been there before, but you can be there now.”

The gravity of Gojo’s words hit him like a tidal wave. Megumi was his responsibility now. His son. And no matter how much he regretted the past, he couldn’t change it. All he could do was move forward and be the father Megumi needed.

Toji’s heart felt heavy, but amidst the pain and regret, a flicker of resolve began to grow. He couldn’t undo what had happened, but he wouldn’t let his son down. Not again.

“I’ll be there for him. I….I will be there, just like she was.” Toji whispered, more to himself than to Gojo. “I won’t let him go through this alone.”

Gojo nodded, his expression softening. “That’s all she ever wanted.”

“Megumi….I….” Toji whispered, a smile breaking through the haze of grief. “I never knew…” His voice trailed off, choked with emotion.

Gojo watched him intently, gauging his reaction. “You can get to know him, Toji. You can be part of his life if you want. He deserves to know his father.”

Toji felt a rush of determination mixed with fear. “I want to be there for him. I want to be part of his life,” he said, his voice firm. “But how do I do that? How do I even begin?”

Gojo stepped back, giving Toji space while still keeping Megumi close. “You take it one step at a time. Start by introducing yourself. He needs to see that you care.”

Toji looked at Megumi, who was now watching him with wide, innocent eyes, curiosity mixing with uncertainty. It felt surreal, being in this moment—a chance to connect with the child he never knew existed.

“Hey, Megumi.” he said softly, kneeling down to the boy’s level. “I’m Toji. I’m your… father.”

The boy’s gaze flickered between Gojo and Toji, processing the words. “Father?” he echoed, his voice small and hesitant.

“Yeah.” Toji said, his heart racing. “I didn’t know about you until today, but I promise I want to be here for you. I want to know you.”

Megumi’s expression shifted, uncertainty still lingering, but there was a flicker of something else—hope? Curiosity? Toji couldn’t tell, but he felt compelled to keep talking. “Your mom and I talked about you once, you know. We dreamed about what it would be like to have a family. We even picked your name together.”

At the mention of your name, Megumi’s eyes brightened a little. “Mom loved me?” he asked, his voice small but filled with longing.

Toji nodded, feeling tears prick at the corners of his eyes. “More than anything. She thought you were the most special person in the world.”

Gojo watched the exchange, a subtle smile of encouragement on his face, and for the first time, Toji felt a sense of connection to this boy. A connection that reached beyond the pain and the past, into a future that was now possible.

“Can we talk about her?” Megumi asked, his small voice filled with the innocence of a child who wanted to keep your memory alive.

“Of course.” Toji replied, his heart swelling with affection. “We can talk about her all day. She was amazing, Megumi. And I want to share all the stories with you.”

As they stood there, the weight of loss began to shift, creating space for something new—a tentative bond that could grow into something meaningful. Toji knew it would take time, but he felt a flicker of hope ignite within him.

“I’m here now.” Toji said, looking deep into Megumi’s eyes. “And I’m not going anywhere.”

EVERYTHING HAD BEEN A WHIRLWIND. Fushiguro Toji’s life changed in ways he never anticipated. The news of your passing was like a shockwave, reshaping his world overnight. He left his family. He broke up with his girlfriend. He changed his last name to match yours and Megumi, after he had asked your parents. He needed to focus on raising Megumi. Like you would have wanted. Like it should have been.

Taking on the responsibility of being Megumi’s father was daunting. Every day brought new challenges and revelations. Toji found himself learning how to care for a child, adjusting to late-night feedings and school projects, and discovering the joy of small victories—like Megumi’s laughter during playtime or the pride in his eyes when he accomplished something new.

Yet, amid the routine of parenting, there was a void that lingered deep within him. He wasn’t over you. He never had been. Memories of you flooded his mind—your laughter, the way your eyes sparkled when you talked about the future, the dreams you had shared together. It felt like a cruel twist of fate that he now held the title of father while grappling with the reality that you were gone.

Every time he looked at Megumi, he saw pieces of you—the way he scrunched his nose when he concentrated, the softness of his smile, and the kindness in his heart. Toji often found himself reminiscing about those conversations you had on the beach, envisioning the life you had both dreamed of. It hurt to think of the family that could have been, the moments that would never materialize.

Despite the pain, he pushed forward. For Megumi’s sake, he channeled his grief into being the best father he could be. He read parenting books, reached out for advice, and did his best to create a stable home filled with warmth and love. He wanted Megumi to feel secure, to know that he was cherished and valued.

But as the days turned into weeks and then months, the ache of your absence remained a constant companion. Toji would often catch himself staring out at the ocean, remembering the life you envisioned together, and it struck him anew how unfair it all felt. You had left too soon, and now he was left to navigate the complexities of fatherhood alone, always carrying a piece of your heart with him.

The sea stretched out before them, the rhythmic crash of waves against the shore filling the air with a soothing melody. Toji stood at the edge of the water, the salty breeze brushing through his hair as he watched Megumi run ahead, his small figure framed against the vast expanse of the ocean. The boy’s quiet demeanor softened in the presence of the sea, a faint smile tugging at his lips as he bent down to pick up a shell, the sunlight catching in his dark hair.

Toji’s heart tightened as he watched him, an unexpected flood of emotions surging through him. This was your place—the sea. You had always talked about how peaceful it made you feel, how the endless horizon made everything seem possible. He remembered the times you’d come here together, how you’d sit by the water, your laughter carried away by the wind. And now, here he was, with your son—his son—standing in the same place you had once loved.

He raised the camera in his hands, snapping a picture of Megumi as the boy turned toward him, holding up the shell in his hand as if to show it to him. Toji couldn’t help but smile, his heart swelling with a warmth he hadn’t felt in a long time. There was something about Megumi in this moment, something in his quiet curiosity, the way his eyes softened as he gazed at the sea, that reminded him so much of you.

It hit him like a wave—how much of you lived in Megumi. Not just in his looks, but in his spirit. The calm, quiet strength, the way he approached the world with a sense of wonder, but always with his guard up. You had given Megumi more than just life; you had given him a piece of your heart, a piece of the love you had carried for both of them.

Toji took another picture, capturing the way the light danced across Megumi’s face, the way the sea reflected in his eyes. And for a moment, he could see you—standing there beside him, your laughter mingling with the sound of the waves, your hand resting gently on his shoulder.

He lowered the camera, his gaze softening as he watched Megumi return to the water’s edge. He was beginning to understand now, the words you had left behind, the meaning of what you had called Megumi—your treasure in the sea. It wasn’t just about the boy himself, but what he represented. The love you had for him, the love you had for Toji, even if life had taken you down separate paths.

Megumi was that love. He was the bridge between you and Toji, the one thing that connected them both, even after you were gone.

Toji closed his eyes, taking in the sound of the sea, letting it wash over him. For so long, he had been angry, filled with regret for not being there when you needed him most. But now, standing here with Megumi, he realized that you hadn’t left him behind. You had left him something more precious than anything else—the love you shared, alive in your son.

As Megumi looked back at him, the shell still in his hand, Toji smiled. He walked toward him, crouching down to meet the boy’s gaze.

“You know,” Toji said, his voice soft, “your mom used to say you were her treasure in the sea.”

Megumi blinked, tilting his head slightly. “What does that mean?”

Toji reached out, brushing a strand of hair from Megumi’s face. “It means she loved you more than anything. She saw something special in you, something worth holding onto. And she was right.”

Megumi looked down at the shell in his hand, turning it over thoughtfully. “Do you miss her?”

Toji’s chest tightened, the familiar ache of loss rising to the surface. But for the first time in a long while, it didn’t feel so overwhelming. He glanced back at the sea, the horizon stretching out endlessly, just like the love that still connected them.

“Yeah,” Toji admitted, his voice thick with emotion. “I do. But you know what? I see her in you. Every day.”

Megumi’s eyes widened slightly, and he gave a small nod, as if trying to absorb the weight of his father’s words. They stood there in silence for a moment, the gentle sound of the waves filling the space between them. Toji pulled out the camera once more, capturing one last picture—Megumi standing at the shore, his small frame against the endless sea, the shell still clutched in his hand.

At that moment, Toji understood. Megumi was not just your treasure; he was your treasure. The love that both of you had poured into him, the love that endured, even when everything else had changed.

And now, standing beside his son, Fushiguro Toji felt something he hadn’t felt in a long time.

The peace only you could give him.

307 notes · View notes

hauntedrabbit · 8 days ago

Text

Touchstarved HC's + mini-scenarios: The LI's as dads/parents, gn!MC

Content warnings: in certain parts it will mention MC being pregnant but I will tag that as “pregnant!MC” but other than that you can imagine the children are adopted :>, a bit of suggestive content(especially around Kuras’s), mention of vomit in Vere’s part, mention of manipulation in Leander’s part, overwhelming wholesomeness

Word count: 7.8k

Author’s note: I ended up loving this way more than I thought I did and I kinda want to turn this into a little mini-series so if you have any asks related to them as dads please feel free to send them! ^-^

AIS

In full honesty I can see this man having a big family, he won’t admit it, but he would love having a lot of kids

Like I’m talking 6 kids, MINIMUM

For Pregnant!MC: But even after that when you were 8 months pregnant with the 6th one he was asking when could you both “get to work” again and you lowkey had to threaten to cut his balls off(starting to think he might have a breeding kink)

But now to the babies themselves

I lean more towards girl dad!Ais heavily but I also feel like he would be an amazing dad to some little boys, so with that said, I would say he has

Twin boys as the eldest(most likely ages 8-9)

A girl(6)

Another girl(4)

And one more girl(3)

One more boy(8 months)

Yea I know, a lot of babies

He definitely used the excuse that the temple is big enough for all you when you asked how are you gonna take care of all of them

He wouldn’t tell you but he would thoroughly enjoy the times when he returns home and hears the sound of giggling and small feet running around

With his little boys he is very playful and sometimes you have to tell him to chill on the roughhousing(the boys never mind it honestly)

Like if he’s not with you, out somewhere, with the girls, or whatever else he’s with them wrestling as if his life depended on it

Meanwhile the youngest boy is just sitting there, giggling and clapping watching his dad and brothers fight

Lowkey can barley cook for shit but dw, he’s more than happy to spend god knows how much money(or steal if we’re being honest) on food from restaurants in Eridia

O m g he literally spoils his little girls to death(he spoils the boys too dw)

Yes he has limits on what he can do or buy, yes he is fully aware that he can say no, but can you resist those adorable little puppy eyes?

Everytime you send him out and they go with him, he returns with what you wanted, but at least 5 other bags with him(spoiler alert they all belonged to the girls)

Whenever you confront him for it he just looks at you and sends his most innocent smile “I know I could’ve said no sparrow, but look at those faces? How can I resist that?”

Vere sometimes visits (Visits as in randomly walks in whenever he pleases) and plays with the kiddos, often giving you and Ais enough time to leave and spend some “alone time” together in Lowtown. He pretends he’s annoyed by them but you and Ais both know he’ll die for those kids.

Honestly if anything you both expected them to be afraid of Vere but given that you have Princess as the family pet and live in the wastelands they have better things to be scared of

I’m sorry but his smoking habits do not go away even when he has kids T^T

He simply just learns to hide it better

Aka he only does it when he’s away from them or their asleep and in the case where they catch him he throws it not giving a fuck where it could’ve landed

Would most def give his kids names of japanese origin I’m sorry you cannot argue with me on this

Moving on to the serious bits

He has one huge rule that all the kiddos have to follow no matter what

“Under absolutely no circumstance do you go near the sea spring.”

Ais specifically made it a priority to have your “house” parts of the temple far from it so they would never need a reason to go there

But unfortunately these are small children we’re talking about so of course their curiosity gets the best of them

The oldest twin was wandering around one day and stumbled upon it, voice began echoing in his head, luring him closer to the deadly waters. And just as he leaned down and was about to drink the mysterious liquid, a roaring voice yelling his name ripped him away from the waters

Ais had never experienced pure terror so intense as he had then, and he never wants to feel that again(Ocedus lowkey took over for a moment when he was scolding the kiddo but he would never know that)

But moving on from the angst

One of the best dads, genuinely

He raises his boys to be strong but also knows it’s okay to have bad moments, and no one will judge you for them. But he also raises his young girls to be the same way, but he’s just a “tad” bit more protective of them.

This demon loves his big family so much and wouldn’t trade them for anything

You and Ais were both laying down in your shared bed, you cuddled up against his chest while his arm was wrapped around you. You both were enjoying some time of relaxation in the early morning before any of the kids woke up, because unfortunately you knew once one was awake, the rest will all come piling out of their shared room in due time.

After a few minutes, Ais’s face pulls into a soft smirk, sighing sarcastically before looking down at you.

“Here comes trouble.”

Whelp, shit

That’s when all of the sudden, the sound of rapid footsteps came racing, and then you and Ais were being crushed by both of your sons.

“Papa! [preferred parents name]! Get uuuppp!” The eldest yelled at the two of you.

“Alright alright you little gremlins we’re coming.” Ais says while laughing before pulling both of his sons into a headlock.

But just as you were sitting up and getting ready to stand, that’s when two of your daughters came racing, screaming for you and Ais also jumping onto the futon. You catch the both of them and let out a surprised noise, holding them close to your chest.

But finally, your oldest daughter walks in, carrying your youngest son in her arms while giggling. Ais notices the baby with her and raises his eyebrow.

“Sweetheart, what did we say about sneaking in here and taking your little brother?”

She lets out another giggle, holding her brother closer while walking to you and Ais. “But he wanted to play with us! I know he did!”

Ais then releases the two boys from his arms, quickly reaching over to grab your daughter and son and pull them onto his lap, before proceeding to tickle her.

You put down your other kids before leaning over to grab your son and coo at him as he reaches his small hands towards you.

Ais eventually stops tickling the young girl and lays down again with her in his arms, signaling over to you to lay down with them. Before you know it, you, Ais, and all of the kiddos are cuddling together while wrapped around blankets, guess whatever playing they were doing before coming here wore them out surprisingly fast.

As the kids all fell asleep once again, you and Ais remained awake for some more time. Peering up at him, you send him a small smile, basking in the comfort and warmth of the room. He looks right back at you with an expression that only can be described as loving, he leans down, pressing a soft kiss against your lips, quiet whispers of “I love you” echoing through your ears.

He truly couldn’t ask for a better way to wake up.

LEANDER

Although I can definitely see him as a family man, I feel like Leander would like to have some space between when he has kids instead of rushing to have one after the other

Getting A LOT of girl dad vibes from this man, he would love to have a little princess and you can’t tell me otherwise

I can see him with one shy little one who’s always hiding behind her dad’s leg when he’s talking to people

He’s extremely extroverted and she’s the definition of an introvert so everyone’s wondering where she got it from(most likely you)

For pregnant!MC, he treated you like a god throughout the entirety of those 9 months. Even tho he was a bit disgusted by some of your cravings, he wanted to keep you happy

“Sure sweetheart of course I can get you cookies with a side of pickle juice ^-^”

He loves that little girl to death omg

As in whatever she wants, she gets

If she wants to have a tea party with him featuring some of the bloodhounds, guess what? Grab him a tiara and a tea cup that can barely fit in his hand

Unfortunately one of the issues that came with her was now he couldn’t spend as much time at the Wet Wick as he would’ve pleased, sure most of it was still gonna be spent there but how would he explain why he had a 6 year old with him at a bar?

So that led to him eventually finding a home as close as possible to the damn place so at least he wouldn’t have to walk far(He asked the owner at first if he can actually have the spare room upstairs for all three of you and she almost banned him all together)

Loves taking her out on adventures in Lowtown and even has a little handmade bloodhound cloak made for her

I’m sorry for anyone who will find this cringe but he would unironically call her “babygirl”

I just get those kinda vibes

Literally takes at least an hour once a day to teach her a little bit about magic because she wanted to be able to conjure her own flowers

Most of her wardrobe is filled with the nicest dresses and outfits money can buy(50% of the money is what he gets from jobs and the other 50% is whatever is left over from his allowance of when he was still living with family)

Aside from her shyness, she is literally a mini him

You lost count of how many random small animals she’s brought home and begged to keep

“Honey I understand that it was hurt after falling off some boxes, but that is a soulless.”

On occasion you’ve caught her using the little bit of magic Leander taught her to make her stuffed animals walk around, but you thought the sight was so adorable you didn’t say anything about it

He has been singing her lullaby’s since she was a baby and it’s to a point where she can recall every lyric in a heartbeat

It makes him cry but he denies it everytime

Seems like the kinda guy that would name her something like “Skylar”, “Rosemary”, “Magnolia”, or “Tallulah”

Definitely something that sounds beautiful or adventurous

A little more angsty headcanons

Giving that the biggest analysis we have of his character is that his whole kindness act is a facade and that a monster hides beneath that

As she continues growing, Leander becomes increasingly more protective

Sure she has other friends and most likely people she can spend time with, but how would Leander be able to keep an eye on her if he isn’t around?

Spoiler alert, he has bloodhounds follow her around and report everything back to him

She’s out at the market with some besties getting food? Cool, he’ll pretend he didn’t already know that when she comes back home to tell him all about it

However, unfortunately, one of those bloodhounds couldn’t be careful enough and she found out

Cue an hour long argument where she’s telling him she can protect herself and doesn’t need him stalking her

Cue him saying it’s to keep her safe and that she should be lucky he isn’t keeping her in the house 24/7(whoopsie the bad side slipped out a bit)

Eventually you have to step in and tell the both of them to relax and talk when they're both calm :(

Back to the wholesomeness though

He genuinely cherishes her and always makes sure that she has whatever her heart desires

But he also teaches her to protect those who can’t protect themselves

But even after she grows into a strong fighter, at the end of the day she’ll always be his little girl

Leander was sitting at his desk, quietly filling out some paperwork after a long week of back to back jobs for the bloodhounds. He was exhausted, but there was work to be done.

But as he was busy writing out some reports, the door to the small study opened, and in walked none other than his daughter, who was holding one of her many stuffed animals close to her chest.

“...Daddy?” She called out to him in a hushed tone.

Leander quickly looked up from the paper, eyes drifting over to the small girl who was standing in the doorway. He sat the pen he was holding down and set the huge stack to the side. That all can wait, what was more important was making sure she was okay.

“Hey there baby girl, everything okay?” He stood up and walked over to her, crouching down so he was on her level.

She looked down at the floor shyly, trying to muster up the courage to continue talking. She hugged her teddy bear closer to her, hiding her face within its fur. “I can’t sleep..Can I stay with you?”

Leander’s face automatically lit up, and he shot her a wide grin. “Of course you can! Come on.”

After saying that, Leander leans over to pick the little girl up, sliding his arm underneath her body so she can hang off of his side. He then walks back over to the desk, sitting down and adjusting her so she is now resting on his lap.

“Comfortable?”

She nodded slowly, snuggling closer into his arms so her head was now resting on his chest.

Leander smiles down at her, wrapping his right arm tightly around her body so she is secure. But as Leander was about to return to his work, she spoke up yet again.

“Daddy? Can you sing that song from last night?”

Leander glanced down at her again before letting out a light chuckle, “If that’s what my princess wants.”

Leander clears his throat and sits back in the chair, the little girl grinning in happiness as she hears the sound of her father’s voice beginning to echo throughout the room.

Some time later you're wandering around the house, searching for your daughter. You wanted to check on her after putting her to bed some time ago, you were honestly beginning to feel worried as you hadn’t even heard her leave the bedroom. But then you remembered there was one place you hadn’t checked, Leander’s study.

Taking light steps down the hall, you're eventually able to slowly open the door, and the sight you're greeted with almost brings you to tears.

Leander is resting back against the chair, his arms securely wrapped around your little girl as if he’s trying to protect her from whatever might appear through the door, and head shifted to the side, facing her. Your daughter is laying across his lap with her head against his chest using it as a makeshift pillow, with her holding her teddy bear closely to her body.

You smile warmly, using your hand to cover your mouth as you walk over to the two of them. Once you reach the chair, you lean down just enough to press a soft kiss on Leander’s head, using your right hand to caress his cheek and swipe some hair out of his face. You then do the same thing to your daughter, placing a kiss on the top of her head and readjusting her a bit so she won’t potentially slip out of his arms, although judging by how tight he’s holding on, you doubt it.

After kissing them goodnight, you slowly walk towards the door again, not wanting to wake either of them. Before closing the door, you whisper a small “goodnight my loves”, and leave the two of them alone for the night.

KURAS

The question we should be asking is can this man even have children?

He’s quite literally a biblical angel who has been alive for centuries. Are we sure he’s even fertile?????

We shall find out

I feel like Kuras was very conflicted on the idea of children for a while, he’s a doctor who is constantly on the job and probably doesn’t have time for most personal pleasures

But after a time where a panicked mother brought her son to the clinic because he was hurt while playing with some friends, he was considering some things

Seeing her worry so much for him, care so much about his safety that she ran god knows how many blocks to get here? It interested him

Pregnant!MC, it honestly shocked you a few weeks later when Kuras confirmed you were in fact carrying his child. Mostly due to the fact that Kuras isn’t even remotely human

But alas, here you are

I can see Kuras as both a girl dad and a boy dad

But I can see him with a little boy that is literally a carbon copy of him

Pregnant!MC, you were very disappointed when you spent 9 months cooking him in your stomach just for him to pop out with only some of your features

But if we’re talking adoption then the young boy just straight up snatches his entire personality and his intelligence

Imagine going to the doctor’s clinic for a check up and you here him ask for some bandages but your confused since no one else is there

Just for a few seconds later a boy who looks no older than at least 10 comes into the room and hands him the bandages and leaves as if that exchange was completely normal

I get the kind of vibes that he would name him something fancy sounding. Like “Emil” or “Alaster”

Something that definitely rolls off the tongue nice

But given that your son got his intelligence, that also means he got his sass

You thought the reason your little boy was struggling to make friends his age was because his maturity level was a little too high for them, but turns out it was because he kept pulling pranks and roasting the absolute fuck out of them

So that led to you and Kuras having to sit him down and explain to make friends he had to be nice not give them a bottle of basically the equivalent of a fart bomb while lying and saying it was a “good smelling flower”

Of course he listened and was able to make some friends, but unfortunately, the pranks did not go away. He just only started doing them after he knew them for a while

He definitely fake gags whenever he sees you and Kuras being affectionate with each other

“Ewwww your basically swapping saliva”

The way he and Kuras get along is bonding over science

Sitting around the clinic for hours going through different books and papers

There have been occasions where you’ve came back and saw him passed out in Kuras’s arms because Kuras was reading a book about astronomy to him

It was so wholesome you almost cried

A bit of angst

Now we all know Kuras’s worst flaw is his lack of empathy

It’s not that he doesn’t care at all, it’s just he struggles to understand other people’s emotions

So this caused some conflict between him and his son :(

It’s been theorized that whatever Kuras’s “true form” is, is something extremely similar to a biblical angel

And with that we can guess if you had your son through biological means, that form passed to him as well (we love genetics)

There was a day where Kuras witnessed a crowd of people, adults and children all running away from a specific area. At first, he wondered if someone could’ve gotten injured, so that’s why he went straight in the opposite direction that everyone else was going. Unfortunately, someone was in fact injured, even more unfortunate, the cause of that said injury was his son. Someone had been bullying one of his friends and in a moment of anger from wanting to protect him he accidentally transformed. A day that Kuras wanted to be far from now

(If your son is adopted then you can pretend that he just got mad and beat up the other kid and felt bad about the fact that he lost his cool)

So that led to Kuras having to carry the injured boy while you carried your son that was currently bawling in your arms after he realized what happened

After treating the young lad and waiting for his parents to come and find him. Kuras brought his son to his room to talk (that he somehow had personally made. Where did he get the money from? Does he even know how to build a room???)

At first the talk did not go well. Kuras had to sit there and explain to him how his abilities work, where he got them from, and attempt to do an even better job in comforting him over the situation. And your son, still being emotional (which is understandable he just horribly injured a person without knowing), felt like Kuras didn’t care enough.

So as a result, he refused to speak to him for days. Like daayyyyssss

It wasn’t until Kuras convinced you to make his favorite dish (because remember he can’t cook for shit), and have it for dinner so then he’ll have to speak to him. Which eventually led to them making up and your son being all smiles again :>

But moving on from the sadness

Kuras wants to make sure his boy grows up being the best person he can be. Giving him all the resources he needs (practically home schooled him), teaching him all the life lessons he needs, and making sure he always cared for others

Can’t have him making the same mistakes as he did

Even though he might not show it a lot, he loves that kid more than anything, and he wouldn’t trade your little family for the world ^-^

After putting your son to bed, you and Kuras finally had some sort of alone time. With you still trying to find a way into the Senobium to find some information linked to your curse, and Kuras having patients day in and day out, you guys barely had any time with each other. So thankfully, after tonight's dinner, and some more playing, your son was out like a light much earlier than you expected.

Kuras was currently resting on top of you, his hands on each side of your head as he places gentle kisses onto your face and neck, reveling in the sound of your giggles as your own pair of hands drag through his hair.

“Getting restless are we darling?” He says teasingly.

You laugh at him again, messing up his hair and bringing him close to share a deep kiss. You feel the sensation of his tongue grazing your bottom lip. You then flip the both of you over so you're the one on top and start dragging your hand down down his chest, getting more closer to the top of his pants.

But suddenly, a quiet voice interrupted the heating atmosphere.

“.....Father? [preferred parent name]?”

At the speed of the gods themselves, you quickly jumped off of Kuras, sitting on the side of the bed, and facing your son. Kuras sat up as well, grabbing a robe so he could cover himself a bit. After that he turned towards the door again, wondering why his son was up so suddenly.

“Why are you awake little one? Is something troubling you?” He said with a concerned tone.

Your son fiddles with the ends of his pajamas for a moment, obviously a little nervous about answering the question.

“I had a bad dream, and now I can’t sleep. Can you read me a story…please?”

Kuras looks surprised for a moment, before he lets out a snicker and scoots over a bit before patting the area, signaling his son to come sit. The young boy makes his way over to the bed, climbing up onto it and sitting down in between the two of you, watching as Kuras leans over to a small table and picks up a book.

He opens it to the first page, leaning closer so your son can also see the words, and then he begins reading.

After a while, Kuras manages to get through a good amount of the book, his smooth, silk voice providing good narration for your son, luring him into another deep sleep as he rests against his chest.

Kuras himself is pulled into his own little daze, his eyes stretching across the paper as he reads every word out loud. But a small bump against his shoulder brings him back to reality. Looking over he notices you have also fallen asleep, lying down against his shoulder and softly snoring. He smiles softly before grabbing a bookmark and placing it on the book before closing it and putting it back on the table.

He then scoots even closer, leaning his own head against yours, and wrapping his arms around the both of you in a soft embrace.

His own way of promising protection, reassuring that no harm may come to either of you as long as he’s around.

VERE

How you even managed to date this man much less have children with him is a mystery within itself

For the longest period, you always believed that Vere wanted nothing to do with kids

And honestly, he himself understood why you thought that\

He’s been alive for centuries, and for most of those centuries him and small children were never a good mix

It was always either they were scared of him, or he found their never-ending hyperactivity annoying

But one day, while Vere was walking behind you (more like stalking you but you’ll never find out). He noticed that you stopped to help a little girl who was looking for her mom along the busy streets. She was crying but you managed to calm her down by buying her something sweet, and then after that you walked around, looking for her mother. You did eventually find her, and the woman thanked you profusely for finding her daughter, and you replied back saying it was no problem.

But that sight alone warmed something in Vere. Rarely ever in his years of living had he seen something so soft, so gentle and loving.

So eventually when you returned back to your home at the wet wick, Vere was already sitting on your bed waiting for you. And before you could ask, he was immediately in your face asking a question you never expected to hear from him

“How do you feel about having children, my pet?”

“......huh?”

Pregnant!MC - Cue to a few weeks later when both you and Kuras are staring at each other in complete shock when he tells you that yes, you are in fact pregnant

And Vere is just standing outside with the most smug look on his face

But annnywwaayyyy

Cut to current times and now you and Vere are holding twin baby girls

I’m sorry just like the others he gives off girl dad vibes

Even if you decided to adopt rather than go through the pregnancy, somehow Vere managed to find two fox babies, so either way, he had his fox children (Don’t ask where he found them, you don’t want to know)

Is…surprisingly an okay dad?

He’s not perfect, then again he’s not horrible, it’s a weird situation

His pet names for them could use some work but hey, it looks cute from a distance

Because “my precious little monsters”, “my little terrors”, and “my little nightmares” would not look good to others. But to Vere it's somehow perfect???

He spoils those babies to hell and back, like literally everything they own is of the top most quality

“Of course I can’t have my children caught dead in anything less. They need to look just as good as I do.”

Sometimes people avoid walking down the same street as them because they get embarrassed by the fact that literally infants have better stuff than them

Now the question is, where did you even put all of these things?

Upon getting the babies, Vere had you (ahem forced) moved out of the room in the wet wick because “I would be damned if I let that egotistical man-child be near my girls for longer than he needs to be.”

And hence, you and the babies were moved into a little town house Vere had found that had been abandoned for a while, and he refurbished it himself. And it turns out it had been close to his favorite restaurant which was nice.

But as he spoils them as much as possible, the personal care can use some work.

Feeding them? No problem. burping them? No problem (however he does hold them in a weird position so they can’t possibly vomit and get it all over his clothes, it gets the job done but still T-T). Putting them to sleep? Can take a bit because he does get a little impatient, but it works out eventually. Playing with them? An absolute pro. Changing them? Yea that’s unfortunately your job MC, he does have a sensitive nose.

Ais sometimes visits and plays with the little princesses while you and Vere go off and hang out together (and also get some “alone” time)

He definitely gives them very fancy sounding names that also definitely match.

“Luna & Lilah”, “Olivia & Sophia”, “Penelope & Poppy”, the list goes on

On top of spoiling them, he also does the thing where he pretends to understand exactly what they're saying even if it’s just babbling, but except it's in the worst way possible.

“Ababbababbasdindasnd”

“Hmmm…yes my dear I completely agree, those pants do absolutely hideous on him”

“Vere omg stop he’s looking at us-”

Unfortunately, some angst

Given Vere’s situation, there do come some complicated situations. In which it leads to Vere being 2x as protective over all of you

The Senobium never expected him to love someone, even less have children with them

So Vere really has no choice but to hide things from both parties here. With the kids, having to excuse his random disappearances as just adventures, and having to tell those damn clerics that he has no one.

Those long hours that he has to spent locked up in some dungeon only makes him feel even guiltier because he knows his excuses aren't going to last forever

But of course, his double life didn’t last forever

A day where he was finally able to return home after hours of killing people for the Senobium, instead of being greeted with you probably sitting in your shared bed while watching your two girls babble and giggle away. Instead he finds you on the ground, crying, and clutching your stomach as if you were injured. And the babies nowhere to be found

Vere rushes over, immediately disregarding any jokes he had in his head to ask you what happened.

You explain to him that some clerics had somehow found out where you lived and charged into the house, demanding to give them very personal information. When you refused to answer they attacked you and took the girls with them.

You apologized to Vere over and over again, blaming yourself for not being able to protect them better. But Vere told you it’s not your fault, it’s the fault of the ones who thought it would be smart to fuck with what’s his.

Vere of course marched up right to the place where they were keeping his kids, even before he could enter he heard the sounds of their cries, only angering him further

Now he knew he couldn’t kill the clerics, that was one of the damn enchantments they had put on the collar he’s wearing, but they never said he couldn’t injure them

When he got there, they did antagonize him. Getting on him for keeping something sooo important from them, condescendingly asking what would the Abess think if she found out he was hiding such a secret.

But what really pissed him off was when they had the balls to insinuate that maybe they should enslave his babies too, since he was so keen on being a family man

Yea let’s just say they were all in comas by the time he was finished. He’ll deal with the Abess later, his daughters were his biggest priority right now.

He had never felt that much fear in his life as he did at that moment. He immediately grabbed the two of them and held them as close as possible for a long time, checking for any injuries. A part of him was furious at himself for not getting there sooner to do something, but he knew what was important right now was calming them down

He’ll never let something like that happen again

But moving on from the angst

Although Vere can be a bit difficult when it comes to actually caring for his kids, he still loves them nonetheless, in his own Vere way

And even though he raises them to be the best of the best, and take shit from no one, resulting in them inheriting his sassiness. They do become very sweet young ladies, which is good for you :>

Both you and Vere were sleeping in your shared room. His arms and tail wrapped around you in a tight embrace. But the quietness was broken by the sound of your youngest crying from the other room, probably feeling lonely and wanting one of you there with her. You and Vere slowly sit up from your places on the bed, filled with exhaustion and grumbling from being woken up.

But before you can get up to go comfort the little one, Vere pushes you back down so your head is resting against the pillow again. “I’ll take care of her, go back to sleep.”

You raise an eyebrow at him. “Are you sure? I know you get extra grumpy when something wakes you out of your beauty sleep.”

Vere rolls his eyes at your remark, getting up to grab one of his designer robes and throw it on before walking to the bedroom door. “You better not be awake by the time I get back.”

You playfully throw back a “yes sir” before laying back down and closing your eyes, causing him to snicker before leaving and making his way towards the nursery.

Walking in, he makes quick but quiet steps towards the crib where his baby girl was, taking note to not accidentally wake up his other daughter. (thank the gods she was a deep sleeper)

Her ears were currently pulled back against her head and her tail was pointing straight down as her tears continued rolling down her face.

Once reaching the crib, Vere picked her up and held her against his chest. “Oh my little monster, what’s bothering you hm?”

He holds her close and walks over to a rocking chair that was sitting in a corner of the room, after sitting down on it he begins slowly rocking them both and trying to hush her tears.

After a few minutes, her cries begin to calm down and turn into soft whimpers. This makes Vere show a soft smile, happy that was able to get her to settle down.

“There you go my precious one, good girl.” He keeps rocking, not wanting the possibility of the girl getting fussy again.

She giggles in response, grabbing her tail and chewing on the ends of it. Vere laughs and removes it from her mouth before grabbing her hand and playfully nibbling on it, this makes her laugh again and wriggle in his arms.

Eventually, she was able to fall asleep again, this time in her father’s arms as he watched her with nothing but love in his eyes.

MHIN

It’s honestly the same thing with Vere, how you manage to even get into something romantic with them much less have kids is truly one of the wonders of the world

And just like Vere, you always assumed Mhin would want nothing to do with kids

For multiple reasons

They were never in one place for too long, they were constantly grumpy/in a bad mood, their job was hunting for a living, not to mention their apparent curse probably made things 10x more difficult than it needed to be.

But being all honest, you noticed the empathetic look in their eyes as whenever the both of you were passing the orphanage, you can tell they felt bad for those children who had no other family to turn too, and wished they could do something about it

So with that, the both of you ended up having very long discussion about where to go from there, and what to do with both of your wishes

So that’s how you ended up with a baby boy in your arms that the women at the orphanage were very insistent on you and Mhin caring for

I apologize to anyone that wanted to see Pregnant!MC for Mhin but I always imagined them as the kind of person that preferred adoption over pregnancy T-T but I might make a separate post for how LI’s would act with Pregnant!MC :>

Of course you and Mhin did your best to make any preparations for a child, but you weren’t expecting the orphanage to find someone for you that fast

You were honestly surprised when Mhin brought you to the outskirts of Lowtown where there was a small house that looked almost abandoned that had apparently been where they called home for months

When you questioned them about it they just responded with saying they wanted to lay low so they found somewhere no one would expect them to be

Also

“I didn’t want you…or him to be around that fucker while we’re trying to keep him safe.”

Yes they were talking about Leander

They also want to keep the baby around only Kuras until they deem everyone else trustworthy(no you cannot talk them out of this)

But eventually when your able to settle down with the little guy, things feel a little more domestic

It was a tough transition for the both of you, but you managed to get through it :>

Mhin tries to stop taking less jobs and finding ways to sneak into the Senobium, but now that they have you and their son now, they are even more determined to find a way to get rid of their own curse because now their paranoia of hurting you two has doubled

And with that Mhin was afraid of getting too close for a while, leaving most of the care to you while they watched from behind

But one day after a long time of convincing, you managed to convince them to hold the little one

It was honestly a little funny watching them panic a bit while the little guy rests in their arms, it was a situation that they had never been faced with

But they eventually got the hang of it and even played with him a bit, making them smile as they watched their son giggle

After that Mhin started caring for him more, picking up whatever needed to be done whenever you were away or wanted a break

I can see Mhin wanting to name him something with russian origins, idk why but russian Mhin has been on my mind lately and I can’t get it out

Something like “Luka”, “Dimitri”, or “Lev”

Even though Kuras is the only doctor in Eridia, he is still the only doctor Mhin is willing to trust with their baby boy

Anytime there is a problem with him Mhin is immediately putting him into a wrap carrier and racing towards the clinic

Nine times out of ten he just has a small cold but Mhin panicked

They totally still try and do some cultural things that they remember from Lovent with the kiddo, even if it’s barely anything at all it’s enough to bring a smile to their face :>

He doesn’t spoil his little boy as much as the others do, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t get spoiled at all

Mhin’s way of spoiling him is whenever they come across something they think he might like while out on a job, it’s in their pockets moments later

It doesn’t happen all the time, but it’s still adorable

And now some angst

Given that the biggest headcanon about their curse is that the times they can transform is almost unpredictable, this creates some issues between all of you, especially when they return home from jobs

Mhin of course has an entire protocol for whenever this happens, giving you an entire rundown for it in case they ever transform.

If it ever happens and they're outside the house, lock every point of entry and don’t let them in no matter what. But if they're ever inside the house and it happens, take your son and leave as quickly as possible and go to Kuras.

But one day, something you never expected happened one night

You were awoken to the sound of your maybe making noises that could only be described as curiosity and almost…joy?

Sitting up, what you see makes you immediately freeze in place. In the corner of the room opposite of your son’s crib, a massive, black figure sits, its huge, white eyes glow, being one of the only things visible. Somehow your automatically able to tell it’s Mhin, mostly due to the fact that you know of no other bird like creatures

You didn’t know what to do, every possible thing you could’ve done would have opened the possibility of setting…it off

So all you can do is sit there as your baby keeps giggling and them, while you and the bird just stare at each other

Eventually, you notice it began to shrink, signaling that Mhin was slowly returning. And you couldn’t be any happier for that news

But once Mhin was finally back, they were crouched down on the floor, breathing heavily and holding a hand against their neck

Your son took notice of this and began whimpering, about to cry from seeing his parent in distress

The next day your little boy was sent to Kuras for a while to check for any injuries, while you and Mhin stayed behind. Unfortunately, this started a massive argument between the two of you

Mhin angry because you both could’ve been in terrible danger and they wouldn’t have been able to live with the thought that they could’ve killed you two. And you telling them that you had no other choice but to sit and no nothing because if you attempted to run then that would’ve only made the situation worse

The argument went on for some time, both of you going back and forth for god knows how long. Eventually, it just resulted in both of you sitting in uncomfortable silence, not wanting to say anything to the other

But eventually, Mhin spoke up again, saying that their fear of hurting the two of you was stronger than anything else, and they would rather not have a family at all then live with the guilt of what would happen.

So you guys did end up making up, managing to talk things through and find a compromise :>

Moving on from the angst

Like Vere before, Even if it’s rare that Mhin would directly say “I love you” It’s always told through their actions

From willing to spend countless hours comforting their son, or trying to get him to sleep, or just playing with him, that alone tells you enough that they love him more than anything than whatever's left in this wretched world.

And they wouldn’t have it any other way ^-^

Mhin was returning home late one night after a long hunt of killing soulless. They were utterly exhausted and wanted nothing more than to pass out in your arms.

Dragging themselves through the door, they are met with the sight of you sleeping soundly in the bed, in a position giving them the idea that you were waiting for them to return. They took off their cloak and threw it onto the floor before taking off their boots and setting them next to the door.

But before they can flop down against the bed, a high pitched giggle rings through their ears. Turning around they see their baby boy standing up in his crib while hanging on to the ledges, his giggling only escalating when he notices them looking at him. Mhin walks over to the crib, leaning over to pick up the little one and bring him into their arms.

“Shhhhh…you’ll wake up your [preferred parent name].” They say as they lightly bounce the little one in their arms.

They walk over to the small playpen they made themselves and sit down in it, setting their son on their lap before grabbing a toy that has the appearance of a baby duck. The baby immediately reaches towards it while laughing, showing off his gummy smile. Mhin softly smiles, making the toy look like it’s walking towards him while making some “quacking” noises. This makes the boy giggle even more, doing his best to mimic the sounds even though he hasn’t been speaking for that long yet.

Eventually, Mhin places the toy on his lap, letting him grab onto it while wagging it around in the air. While he was doing this, Mhin removed their shirt, exposing the bandages that were covering their chest, they then threw the shirt to where their cloak is, telling themselves they’ll get it in the morning.

After about a good hour of playing with their little boy, they eventually take the toy from him, making him whimper a bit as he reaches for it again, but Mhin lightly shushing him calms him back down.

Mhin then takes him back into his arms, lifting themselves up and walking over to the bed and sitting down against it, making sure to move carefully to not wake you up.

After that, they lay down in the bed, still holding the little one close to their chest as they lean their head back against the pillow.

It takes a while but he does eventually fall asleep, resting against their chest as they wrap their arm softly around his body, and letting their free hand lay on the small of your back.

And then it was their turn to fall asleep, but this time, instead of having the regular restless slumber they usually experience, it was quiet, and peaceful for once.

Author’s note: This ended up being so much longer than I had anticipated but it was very much worth the wait and I hope you enjoy it just as much as I do ^-^

#Touchstarved #Touchstarvedgame #Touchstarved x reader #TS #Touchstarved headcanons #Leander x reader #Ais x reader #Vere x reader #Mhin x reader #Kuras x reader #This genuinely took me forever omg

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