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[mini-pretzel]

👏🏼👏🏼 Lips review

HELLO HELLO

WELCOME TO ANOTHER EDITION OF:

👏👏🎉DASHA REVIEWS BTS. 🎉👏👏

LAST TIME IT WAS TIDDIES. NOW IT’S LIPS.

WHAT WILL IT BE NEXT TIME? FUCK IF I KNOW.

let’s get started.

categories:

Kissableness

Shape

Plumpness

Kissing style ideal for it

and off we goooooooo

kim fuck they’re plumper than i thought namjoon

Kissableness: 1007/10 also that neck hoooooo boi

like look at those bad bois. they’re ready for puckering.

shape and plumpness: perfect. literally. the cupid bow is so nicely shaped. n the bottom lip is rich n full of softness- fuck.

ideal kissing style: fucking rough as fuck boi like fuck me up GOD. biting on those lips would send that man into heaven and you to hell. i mean just look at them.f uck. how would you not?? kissing him would take hours until both of you are completely satisfied.

fuck namjoon why.

and a little smile pics for y’all because im a hoe for smiling namjoon

those fucking dimples will bury me in my grave i swear to god.

min fucking hell why are u so cute yoongi

kissableness: i mean 1000/10 like… all of them are gonna be over 10 in a 10 scale let’s be fucking real

but can we just take a moment at how aesthetically pleasing they are to look at??

like they’re shaped ideally. something out of a painting. srsly wtf.

that lil smile tho.

they’re not as plump as joonie’s but like, there’s enough padding in there for a good time, u know what i mean??

ugh.

also side profile because why not.

grr grrr meow meow

pouty baby. why are you so cute???

ok so for the kissing style. i think he’d be very soft and sweet tbh. like candy. i can just imagine him tasting like candy chapstick and having that soft and warm and safe feel u know? i kno it’s not what ppl usually perceive him to be, but like. i feel like he would be gentle with kissing you and that will make you knees weak more than any roughness any could.

pucker up ladies~

rip my ovaries oh dear lord

jung omg ur lips are something else omg hoseok

ok so for hoseok, its like… damn. u ever think that lips can look smart, but his lips HONESTLY LOOK SO SMART TO ME? like he has a smart mouth. n he prolly knows how to use it too, damn.

ALSO CAN WE PLEASE TAKE THE TIME TO APPRECIATE THE LIL MOLE HE HAS ON THE CUPID BOW??

i cant, so cute

ughhhhh ur killing me, hobi.

ok so obvi the shape n thicc-ness is ideal for any candidate.

n kissability is just 1000000+1(for the mole)/10

as for the kissing style… it’d be one of those passionate romantic movie kind of kisses. like where u realize u both like each other after a long time of being dumb dumbs and run to each other’s embrace n kiss. like that. you wrap around him and he takes your face in his hands. the real deal.

look at him. he could kiss you into oblivion, and you’d go there willingly.

ok, now ur just teasing us, hobi. jfc.

park mother fucking kind of lips i swear to- jimin

i mean.. i think the title does it justice, no?

look at this boi. he knows he has nice lips. mfff.

yes he does, boiiiiii.

ugh that top left one. i swear to jesusssss

ok so for kissability 100000000/10 i mean… u know. ITS NOT A HARD CHOICE. U’D SMOOCH THEM IF U COULD.

ugh so serious, but also deadly. also so much more plump than namjoon’s and yoongi’s combined. only rival to jin. srsly.

also for the kissing style: sensual n slow, but hard enough at time that it gets u all excited n wanting to go further. can u imagine the smirk he’ll have when he knows ur ready for the next step???

i-

i am not thinking about him eating strawberries… my mind went somewhere else..

let’s move on.

kim worldwide best lips 2k19 seokjin

AIIIGHT. let’s move over for the plumpest boi out there.

jin.

srsly. wtf are those lips. they’re natural too. holy sh-

like. where can i get some of that. kissability 10000000/10

u want a pillow for ur lips? call this man. srsly. u can sleep on them and they’d be the softest shit ever.

ugh. jin u kill me.

also the shape is so full. like the top and bottom are perfectly proportionate. it’s ridiculous.

fuck. ok. uhhh kissing style. im getting distracted lol

his kissing style would be to envelop you in his arms and kiss you like ur the last chicken nugget at a buffet. it’d be far from gentle, it’ll be the kind of kiss where there’s been a drought for a thousand years and you had all of the water stored in your lips lol

ugh mr jin.

ok ok one more and we can move on

great. the world is a better place thanks to his lips. bless.

kim holy shit they’re so unique taehyung

up till now everyone’s lips were kind of heart shaped? so mr tae here really takes a new crack at how attractive lips can look when they don’t fit into that category.

much like the man, the lips are doing their own thing. and it’s glorious.

kissability: 10000000/10 yo

as for the plumpness, i mean. u can just see that there’s enough there for a good time, u know?

that boxy smile too, hehe

bby boi~

ooof boi. the kissing style would definitely be the hungry kind. fuck. he’d suck, bite, nibble, play with your lips so much. until you’re both sore, haha.

alright. let’s move on, but first:

taelfie

hahaha. i love that man. also he has not one, but two lil moles. they look so kissable. ahhhhh.

jeon fucking look at those fairy ass lips jeongguk

i mean srsly. he has fairy lips. fight me.

look at those bad bois

ok so definitely kissable 1000000000/10 like how can u not. his lips could solve all the problems of the world lol

shape: fantastic. plumpness: oof. and the kissing style? we’ll get to that in a second.

look at that lil mole under his lower lip ahhhhhhhh so cute.

also y’all notice how he plays with his bottom lip in his vlives? just me? pls tell me im not alone.

ughhhh.

ok kissing style. fucking rough while it knocks all breath out of you. you can taste the eagerness and how much he missed you even if you weren’t apart that long. srsly, the boi is a little dog with how much he needs your attention. esp with kissing lol

ok that’s it.

this took too long.

hope you enjoyed this long ass lip review

DASHA OUTTTT 🎉🎉🎉